#I am doing my reread all over the place
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"Why should I avenge Eddard Stark? The man was nothing to me."
— "A Clash of Kings," Prologue
His deepset eyes regarded her uncomfortably. This was not a man made for easy courtesies. "I am sorry for your lord's death," he said, "though Eddard Stark was no friend to me."
— "A Clash of Kings," Catelyn III
Stannis snorted. "I know Janos Slynt. And I knew Ned Stark as well. Your father was no friend of mine, but only a fool would doubt his honor or his honesty."
— "A Storm of Swords," Jon XI
Stannis gave a curt nod. "Your father was a man of honor. He was no friend to me, but I saw his worth."
— "A Storm of Swords," Jon XI
"Lord Eddard was no friend to me, but he was not without some sense. He would have given me these castles."
— "A Dance with Dragons," Jon I
Yeah OK Stannis, we get it. Seriously, we get it.
#eddard stark#ned stark#stannis baratheon#asoiaf reread#I am doing my reread all over the place#based on POVs basically#and geographically#idk what I'm doing#so expect a lot of rando posts like this#in all honesty I love my lobster king
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Hi I swear I'm not dead just feral about reading and rereading- alas tgcf is draggin me back again,,, the donghua ops got me MESSED UP anyway have some sillies before I reread and draw some angst :P
#sketched this like a month ago and finally colored it to restrain myself from rewatching/reading-which I will do tomorrow#honestly like my only tgcf idea that isn't a longass angsty thing hopefully on reread I'll find some more goofs to put in there#will I actually draw any of the like 40+ ideas in my notes? who knows but I wanna- just after I reread for like the 4th time#doesn't help that i just read erha and tyrant's pet fish I am all over the place atm#listen idk the tags bear with me on this lol#my art#mxtx#mxtx fanart#mxtx tgcf#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#heavenly official's blessing#qi rong#xie lian#crown prince of xianle#xianle#his highness the crown prince#hua cheng#crimson rain sought flower
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wip wednesday <3 :)
hello friends :) happy wednesday, hope you are well! happiest of birthdays to my babygirl Alex Claremont-Diaz, love you endlessly my beautiful big brained bisexual disaster with a heart of gold
thank you to @jellibuns @junebugclaremontdiaz @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @piratefalls @bigassbowlingballhead @leojfitz @ships-to-sail @suseagull04 @dragonflylady77 @kiwiana-writes @onthewaytosomewhere @wordsofhoneydew @priincebutt @magicandarchery @leaves-of-laurelin @eusuntgratie @duchessdepolignaca03 @saturntheday @itsmaybitheway @captainjunglegym @indestructibleheart @oxfordslutphase @tailsbeth-writes for the tags this week and on sunday :)
here's a snip from a tiny spy au coming this week if i can wrangle these men into submission:
“I'm serious, Alex. No theatrics. Certainly no blood. What's the code for trouble?” “Barracuda.” Henry clicks his tongue. “Too many syllables for my taste.” “Your name is too many syllables for my taste, yet you don't see me complaining.” “Touché.” He grasps Alex's shoulder, taking a long look into Alex's eyes. Henry's body is serene, but his eyes are always his tell for Alex. They're cloudy, tense; murky waters. “Be careful, please. We both know how dangerous these men are. Manu is unpredictable, even as the mafia equivalent of a middle manager.” “Aw, worried about me, sweetheart?” Alex grins, but it's a little unsteady, faltering at the edges. “Henry. This is easy. And if I’m lucky, no dicks will have to come out.” He laughs, but there’s no humor in it. He really, really doesn’t want any dicks out this time. “See you in five, okay?” He squeezes Henry's arm, then slips out of the supply closet. Back to work.
xoxo roop
+ no pressure tags below the cut and open tag as always <3 tag me if you use :)
@ninzied @cha-melodius @sparklepocalypse @cricketnationrise @orchidscript @getmehighonmagic @myheartalivewrites @welcometololaland @anincompletelist @nocoastposts @tintagel-or-cockleshells @sherryvalli @lizzie-bennetdarcy @heysweetheart-writes @inexplicablymine @onward--upward @celeritas2997 @affectionatelyrs @14carrotghoul @rmd-writes @cultofsappho @anchoredarchangel @candyspandemonium @porcelainmortal @kj-bee @nontoxic-writes
#fic: sexually charged wrestling#roop writes#i wrote this for shits and gigs#there is no nutritional value#there is no purpose#it is just Vibes#do not look too closely at the plot or the body parts please#i am just a little guppy doing my best in a big ocean#and limbs are so hard to wrangle#i have so much respect for writers of action and smut GODDAMN#how do y'all keep track of bodies bro...they just love to go all over the place willy nilly!!!!!#they're just flying all over the fucking place#how does one keep track of hands and legs#let alone DICKS????????#granted there are zero dicks out in this fic#but it is not encouraging for my smut journey i gotta be so real#anyway#see y'all on ao3 this week afjsldfjkalsd hope you enjoy#I'm never writing spy or action shit again fajsdlfkjals lemme just go reread nova baby for the 600th time like a normal person#wip wednesday
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Sunforge
sequel to The Dawnhounds
fantasy/scifi with bio- cyber- & god-punk elements
follows a crew of revolutionary pirates who become stranded in a city in ruins, overrun by a hostile militia, who must find a way to the people who can help them disable the technology that’s stopping them from escaping
and find themselves pulled deeper into the conflicts and history between the strange gods who give them their powers, and the complex history of their world
mainly centres Kiada, told between flashbacks of her past in the city, and the present
arc from the author! out August 6
#the sunforge#the dawnhounds#sascha stronach#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#Woah. My thoughts on The Dawnhounds (having read both versions) were: so many cool and interesting elements a bit confusing tho#The Sunforge is like. even more cool things. even more confusing. but I am not against that!#It's definitely a bit “you thought this was [x kind of book]? actually it’s [y kind of book]!#It is a little all over the place in the beginning; flipping back and forth and between various characters#but at half way it comes together and is more fast-paced and direct. and also pretty wild.#do feel like I wanted a few more just like; moments with the characters themselves?#(it's a lot of plot/backstory/lore/new characters - probably just a middle book kind of thing)#Many reveals about the world and gods that make me feel like I need to reread them both and also have book 3 now.#things I enjoyed: starting with some casual HRT smuggling and casual trans characters.#dangerous adventures but gotta keep our cat safe! the mechanical spider situation....#a handful of pages that I am so curious about what they’ll be like in the audiobook#I don't think it'll be for everyone but I liked it a lot overall!
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i still have a little under 3 hours left of the kings men and i’m already sad it’s gonna be over chfncjfnfn
#i have to clean the bar and then i’m going to my place in the city to start packing stuff up#which will altogether take more than 3 hours!!! what am i gonna DO??#(start it all over)#(reread cdth)#(listen to 😔 a new book i guess 😔)
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homestuck is getting SAD and i don’t WANT THIS i want to read about shitty children lovingly bullying each other i don’t want to watch them sobbing over each other’s corpses :/
#I’ve gotten stuck in reread village#just refinished act 3. skipping the stupid intermission. so not too long from now I will be right back at the sad parts#it’s just like. i think part of the reason i latched onto hs over christmas is bc a piece of engaging media with an interesting plot/#relatable and lovable characters/CRUCIALLY a very stupid sense of humor was exactly what I needed#and now I’m like. invested and it’s getting angsty. which I am into!!! but I’m like. v stressed out rn#which makes me fragile#and so I want my fiction to be an escape yk? which it can’t really be (at least not that kind of escape) if it gets my emotions up#but it’s like I rly want to get to act 6#I’m 2/3(?) of the way through 5.2 so I’m almost there#and I really want them all to get together + I’ve been promised lots of juicy character development and relationship building#but I also know it keeps getting angstier#and so idk what to do lol!!!#whatever rant over I’ll figure it out#my friend and I have been reading out loud a lot so that’s probably how I’ll do it#bc it’s more fun plus I can yell with her and also hit her when I’m mad that I started it in the first place lol#bc of the angst#(she’s starting htn soon and I can’t wait for the roles to be reversed teehee)#anyway. rant over for real now#if youre still reading this send me a spoiler free ask about how much you love terezi or kanaya or something#op#hs
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LMAO QUICK. WIPE YOUR TEARS BEFORE SOMEONE SEEEESSS YOUUU
#vent#:) !! dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I am in my feelings and I am feeling so many feelings like my heart being torn from my chest and pounded into the floor#and a rage so sickening that I can only get rid of by mutilating someone’s flesh with my teeth and nails#fuck fuck fuck man fucking shit everytime I start to open myself up to someone and share what’s at the core of my being#I let my guard down and shit happens!! why can’t I be normal!! why do I get so attached!!! so fucking needy!!!!!! why do I CARE so deeply#when I’m so easy to be ignored? honestly what am I doing here!! I’m forgettable!!! honestly!!#why talk to me??? what am I contributing AT ALL to the conversation?? I’m not interesting. I have no ideas. YOU have a hard time under me?#how do you think *I* feel?? do you think I know who I am?? what I believe?? what I desire??#why even BOTHER wanting for anything!! I dream of the absolute bare minimum life for myself!! I want to not die and live with my friend!!#maybe even MULTIPLE friends if I’m so lucky!!! do you know how much I’ve thought about it? how stupid of a fucking dream really truly#what are the chances of that coming true? who would want to spend more than a few hours. with me?#and so what?? if I can’t even achieve the bare fucking minimum dream ever then??? what’s the point??? what am I then??? if you think I have#ANY skills. you are mistaken!! I don’t know how to do anything!!! except cry over no response to my messages for TWO FUCKING WEEKS#I’m fine and cool. absolutely fucking DANDY#I’m totally not insecure about my place in the world and my place in peoples lives!!! noooooooo#I don’t need the bare minimum level of attention. I made it 13 fucking years having never truly connected to another human being.#I can handle. whatever the fuck this is. haha how pathetic. shitty shitty bang bang#nooo I’m a grizzled fucking soldier I don’t reread positive words directed at me like I have an addiction#I’m not replaying the top happiest moments from my life over and over again trying to ride a high from something that expired LOOONGG ago#I’m not fucking!! crying!! what do I have to cry for?? aww little piss baby DIDNT get a reply :( aww shh shh#your feelings are sooo valid don’t you worry!! it’s not like you’ve gone most of your life with the ability to get things you want!! GASP.NO#you didn’t have to struggle with food or money or housing!! nobody’s even HIT you before!! but even so your cries are valid!!!!#SIKE. NO. IM AT THE ABSOLUTE BOTTOM. MY PROBLEMS DONT MATTER#so WHAT if you’re longing?? doesn’t matter how hard you THINK or DREAM or WISH. NO ONE. NOT ONE SINGLE. FUCKING. PERSON#will EVER. see you as more than the fucking checker piece on the chess board!!#you want to be someone’s muse huh? don’t even CARE about their interpretations. or how they see you. all that matters is that in this moment#they’re stuck with you. they’re watching you. for at least a moment you can pretend they are yours.#god.... if only I could get myself to write my actual essays with this much passion haha#haha...a hh h..
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PLEASE FUCKING HELP
#OML#so im rereading a book i absolutely love.#the symbolism is awesome and it has a very interesting theme.#i have read it twice over 4 year and am now 1/5 in my third time#i still love it#(listen that might not seem often but i literally rarely read. theres better things to do. i do want to read more)#i think its my fav book ever. i have a physical copy from when my school library was giving away damaged books)#.ANYWAY#it takes place near a real physical place. so i was looking to find the main town with google maps.#(it apparently doesnt happen in an irl town but =w= thats fine)#(its actually relatively closeby where i live so i might've decided to visit it were it real)#AND. during that search. i found.#apparently there'll be a fucking sequel!!!!#i cannot explain how happy that makes me#i was near tears fr.#YIPPPEEEEE#anyway idk what to think about it because the og ending really was well resolved imo but =w=bbbb#NO COMPLAINTS#idk i could only find two sources but theyre both trusted and. its not that big of a book anymore. at all.#this is awesome#sillyposting
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Curry chicken for BREAKFAST
#speculation nation#spicy breakfast with some nice coffee. life is good.#im working on finishing up my reread of itnl so i can resume writing today#probably not likely the new chapter will be out tonight. tho who knows ive surprised myself before lol#naw i work tomorrow morning i cant stay up too late. wouldnt have time to edit even if i did manage to finish writing today.#but Good Chance i'll have it out tomorrow. we'll see :p#i want to. it has now been over a week since the last update and i HATE that#which yea a week isnt That much time. but id been updating like every other day lmao i am not liking this lack of productivity#i have big plans for this story and i wanna get there as fast as possible#which means WRITING!!!!!!#tho im also gonna b working on watching the 98 anime too. which ngl is probably great for me writing meryl & milly#bc i just plain rushed thru the original trigun manga in one sitting. my memories of it are spotty.#aka why i need to continue my official reread of that too lol#ive jumped around rereading all sorts of different spots of the manga for research purposes. but that's always later stuff#aside from like chapters 17-20 of trigun original. those are very useful chapters.#uhmmm yea coffee and curry. aw fuck im turning this into a leblanc place huh. doing sojiro proud.#intl shit#Sure. it's relevant.
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Could you do ACOTAR men x reader headcanons where how they would react/ respond to reader shoving her cold hands up their shirts?
My hands and feet are always cold so I always have my hands in my pockets or in between my thighs. And I always have some hot hands packs in my jacket during the colder months.
As I am typing this, I’m waiting for my socks to finish warming up in the dryer so my feet are warm 😀
Always so Cold
ACOTAR Men x reader
A/n: I’m always cold too anon and this weather is killing me bc of my Raynaud’s. I hope your socks are nice and toasty babes 🥰
Also @redbleedingrose did one like this a while ago and I reread it all the time it's so good (along with literally everything else she writes) you can read it here
Warnings: none
Rhysand
He would be working when you come into his office and you’d innocently start rubbing his shoulders
Your hands go lower and lower until you shove your frozen fingers down his shirt
Rhys let out a small scream, “Why are your hands always freezing!?” You let out a giggle as you rub them against his chest trying to soak up his warmth
He pulls your hands out from his shirt, leading you to sit on his lap
Your shivering at this point from the loss of heat which does not go unnoticed by your mate
“My darling, you’re freezing come here.” You sit on his lap as Rhys pulls you into his chest. “A little.”
Rhys scoffs lifting you up going to sit by the fire. “Warm yet my love?” You pretend to think for a moment before shaking your head. “Nope. I think we should go to bed and snuggle.” Rhys lets out a laugh kissing your forehead. “That sounds like a great idea darling.”
Cassian
Cass is just minding is business making a snack in the kitchen when you sneak up behind him
You plaster your hands on the back of his neck and he drops what’s in his hands letting out a shocked sound
Cassian pulled away and turned to look at your silly smile
“Why!? And why are you always so gods damned cold?” You let out a loud laugh and move to shove your hands up his shirt
You hug him and keep your hands against his warm skin. Cassian hugs you, rubbing your back to warm you up. “Why don’t we go snuggle on the couch, I’ll make hot cocoa too.”
You let out a hum, “that sounds perfect.” Cass shoos you away so he can make your drinks and snack
Azriel
Az would know when you're sneaking up on him thanks to his shadows
He lets you get close but at the last second Azriel spins around and grabs your wrists. You let out a squeal of surprise as your mate pulls you into his chest
"You will not get me with those icicles you call hands again." He says laughing with you as you try to break free from Az's grip
"But Azzy! I'm cold and need you to warm me up." You give him a fake pout while trying to hold back your laughter
Az lets out an exaggerated sigh, "Fine. I guess we should go upstairs and get you bundled up." "Can I have your hoodie that I love?" "Of course you can." He says placing a soft kiss on your head
Lucien
Lu is so unbothered by your cold hands so he always lets you grab at him
He just raises his body temp more making it so you're suuper warm
He hates that you get so cold. While you make jokes about it he is genuinely concered becuase no one should be that cold all the time
When you do come up to him Lucien insists you snuggle on the couch
You lay on top of him and Lucien wraps you up in a blanet, using his powers to become your personal heater
Usually you end up falling asleep perfectly toasty
Eris
Eris just lets you put your hands up his shirt and your hands wander all over his torso
He just looks down at you with a fake annoyed look
You smile at him knowing that he's worried about you and your cold hands
He carefully removes your hands bringing them up to his mouth leaving soft kisses across the back of your hands
"Here my love." Eris whispered, encasing your hands in his, warming them with his powers
You lean into Eris to absorb more warmth
The lordling kisses the crown of your head lightly whsipering sweet nothings
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar reader fic#acotar reader imagine#acotar imagine#azriel x reader#azriel acotar#rhysand x reader#rhysand acotar#cassian x reader#cassian acotar#rhysand headcanons#azriel headcanon#cassian headcanon#lucien x reader#lucien vanserra x reader#lucien headcanons#eris x reader#eris vanserra x reader#eris headcanons
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pussyplay with channie????? like taping and slapping??? oh god
this plagued me since the second i saw it earlier today so i had to write something for it or else i'd explode.
edit; i was rereading this and realized that you mightve meant taping as in (tape) and not tapping LMFAO if thats what u wanted lmk and i’ll write you something for that bc i lowkey find that hot😭♥️
~700 words | warnings: fingering (f receiving), pussy slaps/taps, generally mean dom chris icl..., exhibitionism
god Chris and pussy slaps are so MMMMMMMM👹 he's the type to do softer slaps just to tease but hard slaps as a punishment for you misbehaving and/or moving around too much. unless its a day where he's pissed off for whatever reason and you give him the ok to use you. then you're really in for it.
❥ let's say that something went wrong at the studio earlier today; maybe one of his files corrupted and he lost hours worth of progress. i lowkey think he'd be the type to be so angry that he would cry bc he admitted to having anger issues lmao but after that, he's coming home and walking in the door in pure silence. maybe slamming doors subconsciously and/or setting things down aggressively.
❥ and, being the good little toy you are, you pull him into the bedroom and give him the option to either [A] talk about it with you or [B] fuck his anger out using you <3 and who is he to deny that good of an ultimatum???
❥ so he'll get all rough and pin you down to the bed >< almost ripping your clothes as he takes them off. or- better yet, if you have nothing but his shirt on then he's simply pushing your panties to the side. he'll force a few fingers down your throat to wet them and then shove two right into your cunt
❥ he'll finger you soooo meanly and the second you start to squirm too much for his liking or the second your legs try to close, one of those pretty, veiny hands are coming down on your clit >< he might even pull his wet fingers out to slap them across your folds too before plunging them back in
THIS JUST CAME TO MIND BUT IF HE'S ANGRY HE'S DEFINITELY THE TYPE TO SAY SHIT LIKE "This greedy fucking pussy. So tight and can't fit all my fingers in it." *whack* "What am I gonna do with you."
❥ but he's not a complete sadist though, so he'll rub over the area a few times as an apology and maybe give you a kiss or two there. but that's all you're getting <3 because this is about him and for once in his life he's allowing himself to be greedy (🔫), so he's gonna sit there for as long as it takes for his anger to subside (not long but he can and will pretend to be angry just to keep going)
the first way i thought of him tapping your pussy is through your panties ><
❥ maybe you're at an event with him or you're out at dinner with him and the boys. maybe you're just a liiiittle more bratty than usual for whatever reason, maybe you were being rude/a brat the entire way there and now that everyone is sat, you just can't seem to keep your hands to yourself. so when it's <15 minutes into dinner, the appetizers haven't even arrived yet, and he already feels your hands on his thigh? his patience is thrown out the window.
❥ even more so when that hand moves right over the semi-hardon in his jeans and rubs it ever so lightly. then you're stealing his hand and sliding it under the table, to everybody else it looks like you guys are holding hands but trying to do so secretly, so if somebody notices they just smile and wiggle their eyebrows at the "PDA."
❥ but in reality you're sliding that hand between your parting thighs and placing your hand over his, basically instructing him to rub over your pussy through your already thin panties. and those thin panties that seem even thinner by the way your wetness seeps through.
❥ he'll shove his tongue into the skin of his cheek, squeeze his legs together to relieve some tension, and then he's swatting your hand away. he'll spread your folds through the fabric just to tap against your clit meanly. he wont even rub it or give it any other sort of attention; just tapping it softly sometimes then roughly the other. the rough ones make you actually jump/shiver and some of the guys catch on, but he'll just say you're cold.
❥ then he's not stopping until you start to make some noise, either if whines start to come out of your throat or if your breaths turn into low moans. at that point, he'll pat you a singular time and remove his hands. he'll act like nothing happened the rest of the night... until you get home c;
#🥢 anon#sian’s writing#skz smut#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#bang chan smut#bang chan x reader#bang chan x reader smut#bang chan imagines#chan smut#chan x reader#chan x reader smut#chan imagines#skz x reader#skz x reader smut
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i'm totally NOT touch starved so IM TOTALLY NOT asking for peeta mellark and touch starved reader... totally NOT. (i love your writing sm ☺️)
i am FINALLY giving the people what they want!! i know this isn't a whole fic/imagine but instead headcanons, BUT! it is finally peeta. i promise there will be more peeta content in the future. im working my way through the movies again and im about to reread the books, i want to be accurate about his portrayal so y'all feel like its more realistic, but here is a lil taste of what is to come! i rly hope you enjoy <3 btw!! this takes place after EVERYTHING in the books. ur basically katiness.
• Peeta is a huge softy, he's cuddly, loving, affectionate, and definitely touch starved himself. He's the type of guy to mostly have his own contact with you in some way. Sometimes he will grip onto your arm, he'll have his arm around your shoulder or your waist, or even just grip onto your shirt. When you're sitting on the couch, he opts to sit hip to hip even when the entirety of the couch is empty. When you're not cuddling in bed, you're facing opposite sides, sleeping butt-to-butt. Even with that being said, sometimes Peeta needed some space, his own bubble. You, however, did not love that.
• This is exactly why it was somewhat difficult for Peeta to understand touchstarved!reader. Regardless of how close you were, you needed more. Anytime you're walking in the district, rather it's to pick up some ingredients for the bakery or simply a leisurely walk, if he opted not to hold on to you in some way, you'd freak a little. You'd grip onto his hand, either squeezing it in yours or holding onto his larger fingers.
• Whenever dishes were being done or chores were tended to, you would wrap your arms around his waist from behind or follow him at the heel. You were desperate for his attention, his affection, his touch. Without it, you felt cold and disconnected. His touch pleased the ache that prickled against your skin from years of desperately wanting to be held.
• At night, you'd squeeze up under his arm. Your head would be tucked into his armpit, your arms wrapped around him as you tugged him close, closing your eyes and taking in his smell. When you'd fall asleep facing away from each other, Peeta wouldn't even notice you flip over to face him once he was fast asleep, curling up against him, squeezing him tightly like your life depended on it.
• In all honesty? It felt like your life did depend on it. You were a tribute alongside with Peeta, you'd both been through hell and back together. You had nightmares and he was the only one that could ground them. Part of your touch starved desperation came from the times you were alone, afraid, for yourself, for your lover. It was difficult.
• A lot of nights Peeta would ensure he'd hold you close, all too aware that he was the cure to your nightly insanity. This made you feel better, softer, warmer. On days when you were simply cuddling in bed together, you felt like you couldn't get enough. Your legs would be tangled with his, your foreheads touching, arms wrapped around one another. But nothing felt good enough. In instances like these, you would climb into his shirt, sticking your head through the hole for his own head, one that was stretched out from the many times you'd done this, one he specifically designated as his lounge shirt for this reason. Other times you would both strip your clothes off, cuddling skin to skin while Peeta would stroke your hair, pressing soft kisses to your forehead.
• All in all, Peeta is a gentle and caring lover, understanding of your needs. He'd do his best to meet them, even when it meant staying glued to your hip. He loved you, the history you two had, the stuff you'd been through, and he'd do anything to ensure your happiness and your safety. After all, you were who saved him, who kept him grounded as well, the love of his life... but, his thoughts are for another story.
#peeta mellark smut#peeta mellark imagine#peeta mellark edit#peeta mellark x reader#peeta mellark fluff#peeta mellark headcanon#peeta mellark fanfic#josh hutcherson x reader#josh hutcherson#josh hutcherson fanfic#josh hutcherson fluff#josh hutcherson imagine#mike schmidt smut#mike schmidt imagine#mike schmidt x reader#mike schmidt fluff#peeta x reader#peeta mellark whump#the hunger games peeta#peeta my beloved#thg peeta
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I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things aren’t going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when it’s happy. Maybe I’ll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But I’m thinking about the way I’m thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.
In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasn’t even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations I’d had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didn’t supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. That’s a real job you can do for almost five years. I didn’t have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.
Those days weren’t bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.
On 2016’s Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night before—not just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope I’d had in human nature because now I didn’t feel it anymore. It’s almost silly when I think about it—so many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didn’t think I was naive to that—but something clicked into place that morning.
It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, I’d tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. I’d written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: “Good is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.”
I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldn’t be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didn’t work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.
That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.
It doesn’t feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if that’s the grade it actually deserved. We hadn’t been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Grace’s murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.
Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasn’t interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.
I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trump’s election in 2016 felt like that.
After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldn’t kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, “what if I got into politics.” Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trump’s inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.
Now it’s election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, there’s Palestine. Meanwhile there’s Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.
I don’t think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in November— how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.
I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I don’t know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naïveté to the world—not to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. It’s not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynic’s pleasant surprise.
Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a person’s life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.
I’m lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what I’ll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimist’s optimism: to a degree the election doesn’t matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.
But please god please, why can’t it be just a little easier to do it?
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we can’t be friends
summary: you hate vincent. vincent hates you. and yet somehow you end up in his bedroom.
word count: 4262( i… am so sorry.)
warnings: fem reader, smut(f oral receiving) vincent being a meanie, drinking and smoking, disrespect of the french justice system (désolé) me making head canons about vincent’s family life, some mischaracterization of sandra (ily sandra huller)
a/n: folks i was locked in when i was writing this, can you tell because it’s autocapitalized? i was Serious! this was supposed to be like a thousand words and ended up being 4k… i apologize i have to spread my illness (being my obsession with swann). i had SO much fun writing this i hope yall enjoy, all the reblogs on my first post make me all warm and fuzzy. drop some requests if you’d like, and im going to make a masterpost of all the fictional characters im obsessed with bc i’m chronically online. i’ve reread this like a million times so if there are any spelling errors i simply do not see. enjoy!!! <3
You cannot fucking believe you’re going to be late to trial.
Well, actually, you can believe it. Somehow, during the two hours of sleep you got last night, you managed to unplug both your alarm clock and your phone charger, leaving you to blissfully sleep through the multiple alarms you had set the night before. It was only when your cat sprawled across your face, her paws tickling your eyelashes as she eagerly awaited her breakfast, that your body decided to wake you up. An hour after you were supposed to.
Your methodically planned out morning routine for the indictment today was quickly replaced by you sprinting around your apartment muttering curse words under your breath and trying not to trip over the copious amounts of documents on your floor. You nearly cried when your tangled hair would not cooperate with you, but somehow managed to make yourself look halfway presentable. You didn’t have the time to be stressed today, especially because of the attention you know this case is going to get.
And because you knew you were going to see him.
After driving like a bat out of hell in the Parisian rain, violating multiple traffic laws, you somehow make it to the courthouse only one minute late. Jogging up the steps, you push the door open and yell out apologies to the bewildered lawyers and judges in the courthouse as you sprint against the browned hardwood floor, your briefcase thumping against your side in tandem with your heartbeat. Your eyes scan the chamber numbers and you breathe a sigh of relief once you find the one that matched the summons notice, pausing to smooth down your pantsuit set and pat the beads of sweat off of your forehead.
You push open the chamber doors as gently as you can, but you quickly realize there is no use as every head in the room turns towards you, gawking at you. Some have a slight frown on their face, looking at you with thinly veiled pity, but most have a clear show of annoyance. With your head down you speedwalk over to your team’s side of the chambers, pulling out a few labeled folders before you place your briefcase next to your seat. You take a deep breath and force yourself to look up, and right across from you is the defendant’s lawyer.
Vincent is wearing a black turtleneck and a matching black blazer, with effortlessly swooped gray hair and his arms crossed over his chest. He looks perfect, too perfect, in a way that pisses you off. He’s already staring at you when you glance at him, his mouth slightly turned upward as he leans over to talk to his client Sandra, maintining eye contact with you as his whispers in her ear.
“Glad you made time to join us Mademoiselle,” the judge says as she shuffles some papers around, using a few fingers to wave over a magistrate to her right, ostensibly for the indictment sheets.
“I am so, so sorry I-” you start before the judge moves her hand to wave you off, finally sparing you a sharp glance.
“Enough time has been wasted. Let us proceed, yes?” she asks, and you almost start to answer before you realize it was rhetorical. There are a few quiet laughs in the courtroom and you fix your eyes on your folder, feeling like a child who was just scolded in class for sneaking a cookie from the lunchroom. You feel Vincent’s eyes on you but you don’t dare to look up. You won’t give him the satisfaction.
Sandra was indicted, of course. This case was going to be a media circus because of her literary career, and you knew this was not going to be an open-and-shut case. Part of you hated trials like these - when the media would decide an angle that they found the most titillating and not leave a single person involved alone until they got a headline that matched their narrative. Another part of you, a massive part of you, hated working with Vincent. You could just constantly feel the smugness dripping off of him, and with every snarky comment and reply you could sense the anger just drilling deeper and deeper into you. Each interaction you had with him managed to make you even more and more mad. At least you’d hopefully only see him for another couple of months.
five months later
Like clockwork, you stepped out of your taxi to be bombarded by reporters with an endless sea of microphones and cameras, a cacophony of aggressive voices yelling your way. You keep your head down and try to push through the crowd, noticing Vincent talking to a reporter with Sandra to his side. You hear a few words, noticeably about Sandra’s innocence and the ignorance of the defense, and that word makes you stop in your tracks. Reporters are asking you questions but you look for the first microphone you can find and start to talk, making sure to project your voice.
“Judicial integrity is what’s most important to me. Not a narrative, not a story. I took an oath to protect this country. Some people don’t take that seriously, but I do, and that’s what I am focused on.”
There is a sea of follow-up questions but you weave through the hoard of people to the top steps of the courtroom, making your way inside. You arrived a bit early to trial today because you knew Daniel, Sandra’s son, was testifying today. You couldn’t shake the unease you’d had all week knowing you had to cross-examine him, seeing his grief-stricken face as he heard the prosecution and defense make a myriad of accusations about the one parent he had left.
“Were you talking about me?”
Vincent’s voice makes you jump, and you turn around to see him staring at you from behind the court pew. You must’ve had a look of confusion on your face because he then clarifies:
“Outside, when you were talking to the reporter from Euronews. Are you implying that I don’t have judicial integrity?” he cocks his head at you, his eyebrows slightly raised. You shrug, grabbing the manila folders with notes from your bag and putting them in front of your seat.
“If the shoe fits, I suppose,” you say with a tight smile as you sling your bag from your shoulder to under your chair. Vincent scoffs, lightly brushing his hair out of his face.
“Right, I should have looked to the attorney who walks in late smelling like cheap wine for… integrity,” he emphasizes that last word, each letter feeling incredibly loud in the silent courtroom. You feel the heat rise from the back of your neck, both in embarrassment and fury. You take a step towards him and he doesn’t move, your faces only a few inches apart.
“Do you think you’re any better? You took this case because you are plagued with this superiority complex that you have to subject everyone to.”
“Hm, so being a good lawyer makes you think I have a superiority complex, good to know,” Vincent says, touching his chin in mock curiosity. Jesus Christ, this guy irritates you.
“No actually, I think I figured it out,” you say with a laugh, poking your finger at his chest.
“Is it because you used to fuck Sandra, and this is some weird fucked up sort of foreplay that you’re forcing us to watch? I wonder if there’s a tape in evidence, of Sandra telling her now-dead husband how many times you two had shitty sex.”
Your sentence sits in the air as the smirk falls from Vincent’s face.
“Do not project whatever bullshit you’ve created in your mind onto me,” he says, staring at you with an intensity that makes you start to squirm.
“You don’t know me, Vincent,” you turn to end the conversation but Vincent grabs your arm, turning you back around to look at him.
“But I think I do,” he says, and you are so close that you can make out the pack of cigarettes in his jean pocket through his cloak is what’s pressing against your thigh.
“I think you put on this show, that you are meek and timid, but it is all an act. Every movement of yours is calculated. Nothing you do has any underpinning of integrity.”
You feel tears well in your eyes and you quickly wipe them away, opening your mouth to speak as the chamber doors open and members of the jury begin to walk in.
“Fuck you,” you tear your arm away from his grip and walk back to your seat.
four months later
It’s been two weeks since the trial ended. The chaotic hustle and attention has died and reporters are gone, with no more requests for comment or interviews on morning TV filling up your inbox. You were called to the courthouse to go over some documentation that the court needed to provide a final report on the case, arriving late on a Saturday night. You shudder as you get out of the taxi, the chill of Paris air sparing no part of your body. You wrap your jacket around yourself and sit on the sidewalk, taking a deep breath as you prepare to go into that same courtroom. You put your head in your hands and sit in silence for what feels like forever until a familiar voice breaks the stillness.
“Hey.”
You don’t move a muscle when you hear Vincent’s voice, hoping that somehow if you stayed completely still he’d believe you were a figment of his imagination and he’d leave you alone. Instead, he takes a seat next to you, the corduroy fabric of his trousers very gently grazing your skirt.
“If you’ve come to gloat, I’m truly not in the mood,” your say, your voice muffled by your hands over your mouth. Vincent says nothing but you hear him rustling through his pants and then the familiar click of a lighter, and you bring your face up to see Vincent taking a drag of a cigarette. He breathes out wafts of smoke, and after a beat, extends his hand towards you. You glance down at the cigarette and then back at him, and he is still looking forward at the architecture across from you. Plucking the cigarette from between his fingers you inhale deeply, tilting your head up to blow the smoke into the sky. You both sit in the quiet for a few moments as you smoke about half of the cigarette. He doesn’t seem to mind, or at least doesn’t say anything.
“How do you feel?” he finally asks, and you chuckle as you take another inhale.
“How do you think I feel?” you look to him and he nods, taking the cigarette from you. You try and ignore the tingly feeling in your stomach when his lips touch the same part of the cigarette that yours did, with no hesitation.
“Did you genuinely believe she was guilty?”
The question throws you off guard.
“I don’t know.” you answer honestly, bringing your knees up to rest your hands on top of them.
“I don’t often think anything is too personal in a court of law, but that phone call with Sandra and Samuel felt, invasive?”
“It didn’t seem like you had any qualms when you were questioning about it,” he questions.
“Well of course not. I wanted to win.”
Vincent laughs, a real deep laugh, and you can’t help but crack a small smile at the noise. You realize you hadn’t heard it before, at least not before it preceded an insult hurled your way.
“What do you mean, invasive?”
It’s hard to collect your thoughts on his question, and you are suddenly transported back into that courtroom, listening to that call.
“It was like I felt every molecule of anger, resentment, disappointment. I just felt like I was right there in the middle, taking both of their punches. Like,” you take a beat, trying to formulate your words.
“Like I was their son, with no vision of what was happening but so desperately aware of the anger in the air. And feeling guilty that I caused it, somehow.”
Vincent hums.
“I’m sorry with how often I pried, about you and Sandra,” your voice is quiet, and you pick at the straps of your heels.
“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. The feelings I have for her have changed.”
This time you hum, unsure of what to say. For the first time in your years of knowing him, you feel bad about possibly making Vincent uncomfortable. You’re not sure why. You sit in awkward silence for a couple of minutes before you stand up, brushing the stray tufts of cigarette ash that stuck to your skirt.
“Well, I won’t keep you, I have to go turn in evidence of my defeat” you gesture towards the papers in your hands. “And you have to go celebrate, I presume.”
Vincent stands up as well, flicking the cigarette onto the floor and stomping it out with his boot.
“No celebrating for me,” he says with his hands raised. You smile, and he does the same.
“How will you be … coping?” he asks and you roll your eyes.
“Not sure, probably at home with a really cheap bottle of wine.”
His lips purse as he puts his hands into his pockets. “I guess I deserve that.”
You rock slightly on your balls and feet, not sure if you should walk away from him or not. You’re just about to step out of his way when he starts talking.
“I have a nice Pinot Grigio I’ve been waiting to open, if you’d, you know, like to … join,” Vincent’s voice gets quieter as he keeps talking, and you swear you can see a soft pink hue on his cheeks, but perhaps that was the night playing tricks on you.
“I don’t want to impose-”
“You wouldn’t be,” he cuts you off. “I’ll wait for you out here?”
-
Vincent’s house - not apartment - was somehow exactly and nothing like what you would have imagined. It’s a one-story Victorian-style home with a dark exterior, but the inside is painted a warm yellow with tons of books littering the floors and walls and miscellanous trinkets and birthday cards tucked in between. There’s empty pizza boxes and wine bottles on the kitchen floor, and through his tall back window you can see a mini garden in his backyard, with vines of tomatoes and bushels of leafy greens sprawled amongst the grass. It looks very lived in - you can imagine Vincent waltzing around in the morning, reading his big law books with big glasses of wine, like the one you have in your hand right now.
The two of you are currently halfway deep into a bottle, talking about nothing and everything. The case, bad clients you’ve had before, your favorite pastry shops in Paris, the funny face that one of the Magistrates makes every time the Judge looked at him.
“Thank you for the wine monsieur,” you say with a dip of your head and an exaggerated bow.
Vincent shakes his head before taking a sip of wine, and you notice how the soft pink you thought you had noticed before has turned into a deep red from his forehead to his chest. Vincent being tipsy was such an odd thought to you that you couldn’t control your laughter, your hand flying up to cover your mouth as you started to giggle incessantly.
“What? Is there something on my face?” Vincent giggles alongside you, and you shake your head no.
“The serious, smart lawyer is wine-drunk with the person he probably hates the most. I could not have imagined ever being in this situation,” you manage to collect yourself, putting your hand over your chest as you take the final sip in your glass and wave off Vincent as he motions to pour you another one.
“I don’t hate you,” Vincent mutters as he pours himself another glass of wine.
“You’re pretty good at acting like you do.”
He just nods. Suddenly the air in the room has changed, and it feels constricting. Like all of the arguments and venomous insults you’ve thrown at each other has coagulated in this massive living room
“I actually, um, envy you a lot of the time.”
“Envy me?” you can’t help your incredulous tone after his sentence. “You don’t have to say things to pity me, you know,” you laugh, but Vincent’s face is still serious.
“You are just naturally someone people want to spend time with. Even when you annoy me beyond belief, some part of me is always, drawn to you, I suppose. And I envy that. I don’t really know who I am without doing things for others.
You furrow your brows at his sentence. “What do you mean?” you lean over your chair to be a bit closer to him. He plays with the silver ring on his index finger.
“Sometimes I feel like the people I’ve loved, only want me when I can do something for them, you know? I mean, even my own mother, I remember- ” he stops to take a large sip of wine.
“I was almost done with primary school, and my Dad was gone on some inane business trip. I told her I wanted to go to a birthday party downtown, and that I wouldn’t be able to make dinner that night. She got so mad at me that she threw the bottle of wine she’d nearly finished at my head.” He swirls his wine glass around staring into it.
You put your hand on top of his, and he looks up at you, staring into your eyes before clasping his hand arond yours.
“I’m really sorry,” you whisper. He shrugs, and before you can stop yourself, you bring his hand up to your mouth and press a featherlike kiss against his skin. Vincent’s eyes are glassy, and he separates his fingers from yours to place his hand against your face, his thumb gently caressing your jaw.
“Do you have more cigarettes?” you ask, softening into his touch.
“In my bedroom.”
His statement - his ask - reverberates through your head as you both stare at each other, trying to discern what will happen next. Your thoughts are so loud that you’ve afraid that somehow they’ll extend out into the room.
is he saying what i think he is?
And normally, you would say a snarky remark about how he wishes he could get you in his bedroom, and how you’d rather die than see where he sleeps, but the wine has made you slightly woozy and all you can think about is how good he looks with his hair gently sticking to his face and his t-shirt tight around his arms, and what it would feel like to fuck him.
So you say “okay”, and leave your phone on the dining room table.
Vincent opens his bedroom door, moving to let you walk in first before closing the door behind him. He opens his mouth to speak and before you can think your mouth is on his, and he’s shocked for a moment before he kisses you back, your lips melding together. You push your body into his as Vincent wraps his arms around your waist, his hands digging into your skin as he quietly moans into your mouth. Your intertwined bodies make it to the bed and he hovers on top of you, his hard cock pressing against your thigh and you reach down to touch him over his jeans, feeling him shudder against you. You pull away from him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” his voice is a little hoarser than it was before. “I’m okay.”
“Good,” you pull your shirt over your head and tug at the bottom of his and he laughs he does the same, and you admire his shirtless body as he reaches back down to kiss you again, but he’s not as gentle this time. He’s aggressive, dipping his tongue into your mouth and holding your face in his hands.
“So beautiful”, he murmurs, tilting your head so he can suck on your neck and graze his teeth against the bruises spot he left. “So much more beautiful than I imagined”.
Your head falls back on the pillow as you feel his hands reach behind your back and unclip the hooks on your bra, his mouth moving to your breasts and licking your nipples.
“You’ve imagined me?” you pretend to be bashful as your mouth falls into an o-shape, feeling Vincent’s mouth on your chest and his hands on . He moans and you can feel it throughout your whole body as you lean down to shimmy out of your skirt and underwear in one move.
“In every way possible,” he says as he dips a finger down, past your belly button and into your cunt. You’d feel embarrassed at how wet you are already if his hand didn’t feel so good inside of you.
“I’ve thought about what you would taste like, how you would sound when I first fuck you for the first time,” his mouth moves down from your chest, leaving a trail of wet kisses down your abdomen before he’s just above your heat and you sigh, involuntarily jerking your hips up. He puts his free hand around your lower stomach to hold you in place.
“But nothing,” he nips at the spot right in the crease of your hip, licking a long stripe just next to your heat.
“Could’ve come close to how pretty you really are.”
“Christ,” your hands grab fistfuls of Vincent’s sheets as his tongue finally swirls around your clit, pressing just a bit harder as he puts another finger inside of you. You can feel the pressure building in your lower stomach as you and Vincent’s grip on your stomach get firmer as you wriggle under his touch. He groans into your mouth as you start to grind your hips into him, fucking you faster with his fingers as he rolls his hips into the bed.
“Vincent,” you say with a gasp and grip his hair, pulling as you come around his mouth, your head dizzy with the feeling of Vincent’s tongue on you as he stares up at you from between your legs. He pulls his hand out of your cunt and licks his fingers before putting his mouth back on your clit, making you jump at the contact. You hiss as he licks the sensitive area, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you tug so hard on Vincent’s hair that you’re afraid you’re hurting him, but if you are, he doesn’t stop you. He interlocks his fingers across your stomach and holds you into place, groaning into your clit.
“Okayokayokay,” you move your hands from his hair to head to pull him up, your breathing labored as you try to get yourself together. He leans over to kiss you, his lips softly molding against yours as you wrap your arms around his back.
Breathless, you move your hand down to touch Vincent but he quickly stops you.
“It’s- um-”
You look down and notice the wet spot on Vincent’s boxers, and your eyebrows raise to the top of your forehead as you come to the realization that he came while he was eating you out.
“Did you-”
Vincent groans, hiding his face in your neck as you giggle, coming down from your high.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” you thread your fingers through his now disheveled hair. “It’s kind of hot if I’m being honest.” Vincent looks at you with a questioning look but you just smile.
“Plus, we have all night to try again.”
-
You wake up in Vincent’s bedroom, with a few strips of sunlight peeking through Vincent’s closed blinds. You haphazardly reach over to his side of the bed to grab his arm, but find it empty, raising your head from the pillow to see that you’re completely alone. Vincent’s clothes that he had taken off during the night and tossed onto the floor were gone. You waited to see if you could hear Vincent in his kitchen, or in the garden, but you were in complete silence.
To be fair, he didn’t say anything last night to insinuate that he wanted a relationship with you, or even liked you. Maybe this was secretly a win for him - he could beat you in a courtroom, and now he got you in your most vulnerable state to declare that you actually felt something other than hatred for him. And maybe that’s all he wanted. You’re not sure why you expected anything differently.
You throw the blankets off of you and find your clothes neatly folded on his desk, and his courteousness manages to upset you even more. You put your clothes on and try to collect yourself, taking a few deep breaths as you walk out of his bedroom and out towards his kitchen. You scan the room for your phone, which you swear you left on the dining room table, only to finally see it on top of a note on the kitchen counter written in messy cursive.
“Went out for cigarettes and coffee.
Bringing back croissants and a capuc- cappuccino.
Will be back in ten.
Go back to bed.
V”
-
taglist: @ghostlytide
graphic credits: @glasvera
#vincent renzi#vincent renzi fanfiction#swann arlaud fanfiction#swann arlaud#vincent renzi x reader#swann arlaud x reader#anatomy of a fall fanfiction#anatomy of a fall#anatomie d'une chute#vincent renzi smut#swann arlaud smut#smut#fanfic
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aj!!! your work is so beautiful i think i’ve reread it like a million times already!! this is so cliche but i was thinking of oblivious friend!reader dressing up to the nines for a gala and honestly being so fun and charming with everyone but still making time to hang out with jason on the side of the room 🥺 and OOP they both have a crush on each of they’re really hesitant to make a real move 🫣🫣🫣 bonus points if jason says something like you have beautiful eyes when DRUNK at the end of the night 🫢🫢🫢 also on a side note your roy imagine was SO GOOD it hurt my soul i think about it frequently
BIRDS OF A FEATHER.
— we should stick together.
summary : you're the lady of the hour at the birthday party your best friend's family has thrown for you, but you'll always be able to make time for him.
note : THANK YOU SO MUCH OMFGGGF IM LITERALLY CRYINGGGG PLS REQUEST AGAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭
NOTE 2 : FEMALE READER SORRY IK YOU DIDNT SPECIFY BUT IT FELT EASIER FOR ME TO DESCRIBE AS I AM A LADYY
warning : this May be my magnum opus
jason didn't think you could ever look any more gorgeous than you already looked every day; each day he saw you, even the times you had major bedhead after waking up, or the times you had a bit of vomit on the corner of your lip from puking in the toilet after a night of clubbing — and he was the one holding back your hair.
not that he would say it, but he'd do anything for you. and not that you would say anything either, but you knew he would, and you'd do the same for him. i'm not too sure if he knows that.
but when you began to step down the foyer of the wayne mansion, chandelier overhead causing your hair to shine, the sparkles on your dress to glitter, and your pearly smile to glint, jason can't deny the weakness in his knees, prepared to fall to them and worship.
he'd have to thank stephanie later, who was trailing behind you smugly in her own formal attire, for her involvement in helping you get ready.
from beside him, dick clapped him on the shoulder, causing him to sway, and the drink in his hand to spill a little over the rim. "wow, she looks amazing," he whispered into jason's ear, that cheeky smile on his face already evident in his tone. "everyone's gonna want to have a bit of her tonight, you'll have to reserve a spot to dance with her. you will dance with her, right?"
it wasn't ideal, dick knowing the way jason felt about you; it was like any moment he could, he just trolled him for it, threatened to let it out to the entire world.
"shut it, dick," jason replied discreetly through gritted teeth, taking a sip of his slightly-emptier champagne to disguise him saying anything at all.
sometimes it was fun referring to dick, because you could never tell if you were calling him by name, or insulting him. in this case, i'll make it easy for you — it's an insult.
nevertheless, already used to jason's verbal abuse, dick flashed a grin and stepped forward to meet you at the bottom of the grand red-carpeted steps.
"happy birthday, pretty lady," dick sang as he wrapped a chaste arm around your shoulders, careful to not over-impose, despite his words.
the beautiful song of a laugh brushed past your painted lips, revealing your perfect teeth — even if not straight, or perfect in the dictionary sense, jason adored your smile, revelled in it. it was perfect to him, if nothing else. "thanks, man," you hummed in return, giving him a platonic squeeze around the shoulders, too.
when you pulled away, your eyes met his. jason's. your best friend's, your one true love's, your soulmate's. just best friends, just one unrequited true love, just platonic soulmates. you were sure of that; that he didn't feel the same way.
as soon as those glittering eyes connected with his, jason gave a quick intake of breath, nervous, practically floored by just one look. he placed his glass down on the ledge of the wall behind him and smoothed down the front of his maroon waistcoat with his other hand, mentally calming himself as you stepped toward him.
immediately, despite your usual closeness, an immense chasm seemed to linger between you. it wasn't everyday you saw each other get so decked up; and jason looked great.
contrasting to before, you let out a more uneasy laugh, arms beginning to raise to pull your best friend into a hug. as much time you spent together, not a lot of it was spent in each other's arms, unsurprisingly. it didn't come naturally, but, finally, once you figured out how to approach the action, your bodies fit together like matching puzzle pieces.
chin coming up to his broad shoulder, you made an effort to not smear lipstick on his jacket, but you couldn't help but feel the urge to sink into him.
"thank you so much," you whispered softly against his neck, arms squeezing his torso tightly, causing a laboured chuckle to ache through him.
careful not to squeeze too much, jason reciprocated the affection, unable to push down a smile. "anything for you, (name). seriously."
but as you pulled away carefully from his body, softly inhaling his oud cologne, you wished that was true. however, it didn't go unacknowledged that he was the reason for this party in the first place. maybe he would do anything.
jason todd, event hater, planning a birthday party for his best friend in wayne manor, inviting all his family you'd come to know and love, your own closest family, and the friends he'd met through you, along with his own friends you'd met through him.
when you peered up at him from beneath dark black eyelashes, you could see an expression on jason's face you'd never caught before; smile the widest you'd ever seen it, although his top two teeth seemed to be sinking into the gum on the inside, trying to hold it back — impossible — and his pale green eyes had halved into crescents, the colour of them almost unnoticable now. but he was happy. looking at you, he seemed so happy.
and your expression bled into the same; same smile, same crescent eyes, cheeks aching with how hard you smiled.
"i better go see everyone else," you finally spoke, voice barely above a whisper, almost silent against the music that had began to play overhead. just before you turning away, your fingers grazed the fabric of the jacket cloaking his forearm. "thanks again. i'll try catch you later."
with that, you disappeared into the crowd — so many people here for you, all because jason wanted them to be — and jason was finally able to let out the breath he'd been holding.
over the night, jason found himself searching for you in the foyer of people, you in your dress, so radiant that no one else had chose it in that colour. no matter where you were, who you were with, you always found a way to stand out, even unintentionally. and it was by no means a bad standing out, it was admirable.
in fact, jason found himself admiring you a lot.
a few hours had gone by, and you were making your rounds, always seeming to pass him by. even if you were clearly on your way to him, someone else managed to whisk you away for another conversation. he was selfish to have organised your birthday party, and still expect your entire, undivided attention.
by now, he'd decided to escape, deeply irritated by a comment timothy drake had made about the way he'd styled his hair — "for once," he'd said, "and it looks horrific." jason knew tim was just pulling his leg, as he tended to do, but he'd already had four glasses of champagne and was missing his best friend, so he disappeared to get some air on one of wayne manor's various balconies.
behind him, the door creaked open, and his immediate response was to go to the defensive. "hey, i'm kinda looking to be alone right now." his voice was gruff, slightly slurred, eyebrows furrowed. but everything dissipated as soon as he saw who had joined him.
"even from the birthday girl?" you'd hummed hopefully, the softness of your smile, and the slight haze of your made-up features from a few drinks, thawing his heart.
watching as the corners of his lips began to tip up, you knew you had your answer, and stepped out onto the stone, carefully closing the glass-paned door behind you.
jason's eyes remained on you as you joined him, unable to stop them running down your form. how could he help it when you looked so amazing in that dress?
after a few beats, jason pulled his — what, fifth? sixth? — glass up to his lips and turned away, mimicking you in gazing out to the starry gotham lights.
"have you been having a good night?" he asked, staring down the bottom of his glass as he replaced it down on the stone banister, fingers careful on the base. he glanced over to you, smile absently forming on his lips as he watched your own lips upturn.
nodding, you looked back up at him, eyes twinkling as they set on him. "yeah, it's been amazing. i can't believe you set all this up for me, jace."
that dreamy, slightly alcoholic tone of your words was exactly what drove jason crazy, up the wall, off his knocker — for you.
"anything for you," jason quoted himself from previously that evening, from just a few hours ago. despite his soft smile, his eyes seemed tired; probably the effect of a few drinks, but you'd had some, too. you probably looked the same.
you could only smile at his words, gazing up at him in adoration. a laugh brushed past your lips, and you extended your elbow out to lightly nudge him in the torso, turning back to gotham, but he didn't flinch.
despite having turned away, you could feel his gaze boring into the side of your head; not judgemental at all, but a soft sting in your skin.
"you look just.. unbelievable tonight," your best friend breathed, a nervousness to his voice, invisible to the untrained ear, and he looked away too. this time, when you glanced over, you could see he was the uncomfortable one, the confidence of champagne having dissipated in a moment.
jaw tensing, he glanced over at you, out the corner of his eye, before looking back ahead.
"and you don't look too shabby yourself," you replied, a chuckle to your words. oh, you'd down-played it so bad; he'd given you an uncommon compliment, and you'd replied like that? shocking.
but jason still smiled, a tension releasing from his broad shoulders, breathing a soft laugh.
still, something wasn't right.
careful, you placed your hand on the back of his, causing him to tense up once more, the veins in the back of his hand popping beneath your palm. "you sure you're okay, jace? you seem... off."
not off, lovesick. but he couldn't say that, could he?
with a dismissive shake of his head, jason shrugged. "i'm fine. long night."
despite humming and turning your attention away, to the horizon, your hand, warm against his skin, remained upon his. sighing in content, you shuffled closer, until your side hit jason's, and you craned your neck to the side, laying upon jason's shoulder.
beneath the weight of your head, his back seemed to deflate, and you were unsure if you'd overstepped. until you felt his head upon yours, and you knew jason was just as happy as you were.
whether he liked you back or not.
#aangelinakii#dc#dc comics#dc imagines#dc reactions#dc headcanons#dc universe#jason todd#jason todd x reader#jason todd reactions#jason todd fluff#jason todd imagines#jason todd headcanons
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How Obey Me Brothers realized they were in love with MC: Part One, Lucifer
A/N: This idea was in my brain for a while so I decided why not write it? Also, am I the only one who writes well in their head but struggles to write it on paper??? Like wtf should I yap on here.
Lucifer: The Mighty Firstborn
Since Lucifer was the first born, all the major responsibilities were naturally given to him. From paying bills, and managing Mammon's spending, to ensuring the House of Lamentation was running properly, it was quite a lot for the Avatar of Pride.
But his pride refused to let him show weakness, instead working himself overtime to stay on top of things, which often led to him burning himself out, like today.
Mammon had somehow managed to steal Lord Diavolo's card and spent a hefty amount on gambling. While the Prince seemed unfazed, perhaps even a bit amused by the ordeal, Lucifer had been livid.
After lecturing and tying him up to the ceiling as usual, he had been working through a stack of papers, ranging from letters from angry witches demanding their money back from Mammon, to debts that had to be payed because of his greedy brother.
As the moon rose higher in the sky, the stack of papers did not seem to lower, towering over him, waiting to be reviewed.
Even though it didn't outwardly appear that Lucifer loved his brothers, at heart, he really truly did.
Which was currently the reason why he had Mammon's homework in front of him, one of the many he had forgotten to do in his haste to go gambling.
Lucifer sighed, scribbling in the answers, wrinkling his nose ever so slightly at the messy handwriting. Mammon wasn't one to have good handwriting, and if Lucifer wanted to pretend that Mammon was the one who wrote in th answers, he had to copy his handwriting.
As soon as he wrote the last few words, his pen instantly slipped from his fingers, and his head dropped forward onto his desk, and he was knocked out cold.
The next day, as he discreetly slid the homework papers into Mammon's bag before the teacher began to collect them, he realized that in his haste to do Mammon's homework, he had forgotten to do his. Him, Lucifer, Avatar of Pride, the Mighty Firstborn, the one who never missed a single assignment, was about to get berated for not doing his homework.
He tensed up as the Teacher approached, nodding approvingly as she took Mammon's homework, then held out her hand expectantly at Lucifer, wait for him to hand in his homework.
"𝘐…𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬…."
"𝘌𝘹-𝘦𝘹𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘦?"the teacher stammered, staring at him as if he head sprouted two heads.
He merely sighed, his head dropping as he heard Mammon snicker in the background. Suddenly he heard another voice intervene.
"Teacher! Lucifer did do his homework! I accidentally took it thinking it was mine!"
Lucifer just stared in surprise, confusion, and shock as you gave an embarrassed smile, holding out the homework, his name written across the top. He watched as the teacher glared and lectured you on not stealing other's homework and passing it off as their own, even if it was by mistake.
As the class continued, he could barely focus, as he noticed you place a comforting hand on his thigh, occasionally squeezing it in comfort as they continued their lesson. As he finally began writing his notes in for the class, a small note suddenly got slipped into his hands.
We all appreciate your efforts, especially your brothers. You are truly amazing for doing what you did. We love you -MC
Lucifer couldn't help but blush slightly, a few tears at the corners of his eyes, as he reread each kind word.
He looked sideways at MC, who was ever so focused on their notes, thoughtfully chewing their bottom lip as the worked. It was at this moment that he realized that he truly loved you, and would be willing to kill for them.
After Lilith's death, it was as if no one wanted to appreciate his efforts. True, his sin made it harder to express himself, but his brothers refused to even try to understand him or appreciate why he did what he did. But today, seeing you go out of your way to appreciate him, made him realize that maybe, just maybe, there was some happiness in store for him.
#obey me#x you#x reader#x y/n#obey me brothers#obey me lucifer#obey me nightbringer#obey me leviathan#obey me simeon#obey me shall we date#obey me mammon#obey me fluff#obey me fandom#obey me fanfic#obey me luci x reader#obey me luci x mc#obey me mc
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