#I am doing my reread all over the place
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"Why should I avenge Eddard Stark? The man was nothing to me."
â "A Clash of Kings," Prologue
His deepset eyes regarded her uncomfortably. This was not a man made for easy courtesies. "I am sorry for your lord's death," he said, "though Eddard Stark was no friend to me."
â "A Clash of Kings," Catelyn III
Stannis snorted. "I know Janos Slynt. And I knew Ned Stark as well. Your father was no friend of mine, but only a fool would doubt his honor or his honesty."
â "A Storm of Swords," Jon XI
Stannis gave a curt nod. "Your father was a man of honor. He was no friend to me, but I saw his worth."
â "A Storm of Swords," Jon XI
"Lord Eddard was no friend to me, but he was not without some sense. He would have given me these castles."
â "A Dance with Dragons," Jon I
Yeah OK Stannis, we get it. Seriously, we get it.
#eddard stark#ned stark#stannis baratheon#asoiaf reread#I am doing my reread all over the place#based on POVs basically#and geographically#idk what I'm doing#so expect a lot of rando posts like this#in all honesty I love my lobster king
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Hi I swear I'm not dead just feral about reading and rereading- alas tgcf is draggin me back again,,, the donghua ops got me MESSED UP anyway have some sillies before I reread and draw some angst :P
#sketched this like a month ago and finally colored it to restrain myself from rewatching/reading-which I will do tomorrow#honestly like my only tgcf idea that isn't a longass angsty thing hopefully on reread I'll find some more goofs to put in there#will I actually draw any of the like 40+ ideas in my notes? who knows but I wanna- just after I reread for like the 4th time#doesn't help that i just read erha and tyrant's pet fish I am all over the place atm#listen idk the tags bear with me on this lol#my art#mxtx#mxtx fanart#mxtx tgcf#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#heaven official's blessing#heavenly official's blessing#qi rong#xie lian#crown prince of xianle#xianle#his highness the crown prince#hua cheng#crimson rain sought flower
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wip wednesday <3 :)
hello friends :) happy wednesday, hope you are well! happiest of birthdays to my babygirl Alex Claremont-Diaz, love you endlessly my beautiful big brained bisexual disaster with a heart of gold
thank you to @jellibuns @junebugclaremontdiaz @violetbaudelaire-quagmire @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @piratefalls @bigassbowlingballhead @leojfitz @ships-to-sail @suseagull04 @dragonflylady77 @kiwiana-writes @onthewaytosomewhere @wordsofhoneydew @priincebutt @magicandarchery @leaves-of-laurelin @eusuntgratie @duchessdepolignaca03 @saturntheday @itsmaybitheway @captainjunglegym @indestructibleheart @oxfordslutphase @tailsbeth-writes for the tags this week and on sunday :)
here's a snip from a tiny spy au coming this week if i can wrangle these men into submission:
âI'm serious, Alex. No theatrics. Certainly no blood. What's the code for trouble?â âBarracuda.â Henry clicks his tongue. âToo many syllables for my taste.â âYour name is too many syllables for my taste, yet you don't see me complaining.â âTouchĂ©.â He grasps Alex's shoulder, taking a long look into Alex's eyes. Henry's body is serene, but his eyes are always his tell for Alex. They're cloudy, tense; murky waters. âBe careful, please. We both know how dangerous these men are. Manu is unpredictable, even as the mafia equivalent of a middle manager.â âAw, worried about me, sweetheart?â Alex grins, but it's a little unsteady, faltering at the edges. âHenry. This is easy. And if Iâm lucky, no dicks will have to come out.â He laughs, but thereâs no humor in it. He really, really doesnât want any dicks out this time. âSee you in five, okay?â He squeezes Henry's arm, then slips out of the supply closet. Back to work.
xoxo roop
+ no pressure tags below the cut and open tag as always <3 tag me if you use :)
@ninzied @cha-melodius @sparklepocalypse @cricketnationrise @orchidscript @getmehighonmagic @myheartalivewrites @welcometololaland @anincompletelist @nocoastposts @tintagel-or-cockleshells @sherryvalli @lizzie-bennetdarcy @heysweetheart-writes @inexplicablymine @onward--upward @celeritas2997 @affectionatelyrs @14carrotghoul @rmd-writes @cultofsappho @anchoredarchangel @candyspandemonium @porcelainmortal @kj-bee @nontoxic-writes
#fic: sexually charged wrestling#roop writes#i wrote this for shits and gigs#there is no nutritional value#there is no purpose#it is just Vibes#do not look too closely at the plot or the body parts please#i am just a little guppy doing my best in a big ocean#and limbs are so hard to wrangle#i have so much respect for writers of action and smut GODDAMN#how do y'all keep track of bodies bro...they just love to go all over the place willy nilly!!!!!#they're just flying all over the fucking place#how does one keep track of hands and legs#let alone DICKS????????#granted there are zero dicks out in this fic#but it is not encouraging for my smut journey i gotta be so real#anyway#see y'all on ao3 this week afjsldfjkalsd hope you enjoy#I'm never writing spy or action shit again fajsdlfkjals lemme just go reread nova baby for the 600th time like a normal person#wip wednesday
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2024 reads / storygraph
The Sunforge
sequel to The Dawnhounds
fantasy/scifi with bio- cyber- & god-punk elements
follows a crew of revolutionary pirates who become stranded in a city in ruins, overrun by a hostile militia, who must find a way to the people who can help them disable the technology thatâs stopping them from escaping
and find themselves pulled deeper into the conflicts and history between the strange gods who give them their powers, and the complex history of their world
mainly centres Kiada, told between flashbacks of her past in the city, and the present
arc from the author! out August 6
#the sunforge#the dawnhounds#sascha stronach#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#Woah. My thoughts on The Dawnhounds (having read both versions) were: so many cool and interesting elements a bit confusing tho#The Sunforge is like. even more cool things. even more confusing. but I am not against that!#It's definitely a bit âyou thought this was [x kind of book]? actually itâs [y kind of book]!#It is a little all over the place in the beginning; flipping back and forth and between various characters#but at half way it comes together and is more fast-paced and direct. and also pretty wild.#do feel like I wanted a few more just like; moments with the characters themselves?#(it's a lot of plot/backstory/lore/new characters - probably just a middle book kind of thing)#Many reveals about the world and gods that make me feel like I need to reread them both and also have book 3 now.#things I enjoyed: starting with some casual HRT smuggling and casual trans characters.#dangerous adventures but gotta keep our cat safe! the mechanical spider situation....#a handful of pages that I am so curious about what theyâll be like in the audiobook#I don't think it'll be for everyone but I liked it a lot overall!
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i still have a little under 3 hours left of the kings men and iâm already sad itâs gonna be over chfncjfnfn
#i have to clean the bar and then iâm going to my place in the city to start packing stuff up#which will altogether take more than 3 hours!!! what am i gonna DO??#(start it all over)#(reread cdth)#(listen to đ a new book i guess đ)
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homestuck is getting SAD and i donât WANT THIS i want to read about shitty children lovingly bullying each other i donât want to watch them sobbing over each otherâs corpses :/
#Iâve gotten stuck in reread village#just refinished act 3. skipping the stupid intermission. so not too long from now I will be right back at the sad parts#itâs just like. i think part of the reason i latched onto hs over christmas is bc a piece of engaging media with an interesting plot/#relatable and lovable characters/CRUCIALLY a very stupid sense of humor was exactly what I needed#and now Iâm like. invested and itâs getting angsty. which I am into!!! but Iâm like. v stressed out rn#which makes me fragile#and so I want my fiction to be an escape yk? which it canât really be (at least not that kind of escape) if it gets my emotions up#but itâs like I rly want to get to act 6#Iâm 2/3(?) of the way through 5.2 so Iâm almost there#and I really want them all to get together + Iâve been promised lots of juicy character development and relationship building#but I also know it keeps getting angstier#and so idk what to do lol!!!#whatever rant over Iâll figure it out#my friend and I have been reading out loud a lot so thatâs probably how Iâll do it#bc itâs more fun plus I can yell with her and also hit her when Iâm mad that I started it in the first place lol#bc of the angst#(sheâs starting htn soon and I canât wait for the roles to be reversed teehee)#anyway. rant over for real now#if youre still reading this send me a spoiler free ask about how much you love terezi or kanaya or something#op#hs
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LMAO QUICK. WIPE YOUR TEARS BEFORE SOMEONE SEEEESSS YOUUU
#vent#:) !! dammit!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I am in my feelings and I am feeling so many feelings like my heart being torn from my chest and pounded into the floor#and a rage so sickening that I can only get rid of by mutilating someoneâs flesh with my teeth and nails#fuck fuck fuck man fucking shit everytime I start to open myself up to someone and share whatâs at the core of my being#I let my guard down and shit happens!! why canât I be normal!! why do I get so attached!!! so fucking needy!!!!!! why do I CARE so deeply#when Iâm so easy to be ignored? honestly what am I doing here!! Iâm forgettable!!! honestly!!#why talk to me??? what am I contributing AT ALL to the conversation?? Iâm not interesting. I have no ideas. YOU have a hard time under me?#how do you think *I* feel?? do you think I know who I am?? what I believe?? what I desire??#why even BOTHER wanting for anything!! I dream of the absolute bare minimum life for myself!! I want to not die and live with my friend!!#maybe even MULTIPLE friends if Iâm so lucky!!! do you know how much Iâve thought about it? how stupid of a fucking dream really truly#what are the chances of that coming true? who would want to spend more than a few hours. with me?#and so what?? if I canât even achieve the bare fucking minimum dream ever then??? whatâs the point??? what am I then??? if you think I have#ANY skills. you are mistaken!! I donât know how to do anything!!! except cry over no response to my messages for TWO FUCKING WEEKS#Iâm fine and cool. absolutely fucking DANDY#Iâm totally not insecure about my place in the world and my place in peoples lives!!! noooooooo#I donât need the bare minimum level of attention. I made it 13 fucking years having never truly connected to another human being.#I can handle. whatever the fuck this is. haha how pathetic. shitty shitty bang bang#nooo Iâm a grizzled fucking soldier I donât reread positive words directed at me like I have an addiction#Iâm not replaying the top happiest moments from my life over and over again trying to ride a high from something that expired LOOONGG ago#Iâm not fucking!! crying!! what do I have to cry for?? aww little piss baby DIDNT get a reply :( aww shh shh#your feelings are sooo valid donât you worry!! itâs not like youâve gone most of your life with the ability to get things you want!! GASP.NO#you didnât have to struggle with food or money or housing!! nobodyâs even HIT you before!! but even so your cries are valid!!!!#SIKE. NO. IM AT THE ABSOLUTE BOTTOM. MY PROBLEMS DONT MATTER#so WHAT if youâre longing?? doesnât matter how hard you THINK or DREAM or WISH. NO ONE. NOT ONE SINGLE. FUCKING. PERSON#will EVER. see you as more than the fucking checker piece on the chess board!!#you want to be someoneâs muse huh? donât even CARE about their interpretations. or how they see you. all that matters is that in this moment#theyâre stuck with you. theyâre watching you. for at least a moment you can pretend they are yours.#god.... if only I could get myself to write my actual essays with this much passion haha#haha...a hh h..
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Minor Detail -- Adania Shibli
Rambling warning. This reading got so mixed in with my current state of mind and feelings + the difficulty of speaking about something related to a heated current issue, it's a whole mess. And probably not a well-worded one. Also I'm ignorant. I hope I don't compound anyone's pain today, and if I do, I am endlessly sorry. Also anyone being dehumanizing in my notes is catching a block.
This book I bought on a whim, against my own rules. My new job has been taking its toll on me and, I don't know, I sort of felt compelled to... do... something...?
It's an awful thing to say, but I've been compartmentalizing a lot. I've been limiting the time that I take to engage with news, because it kept sending me down doom spirals.
But... I still care, yknow. And I guess that's why I picked up a book with such a discomforting blurb even in my aching state -- and how comforting can you get in your writing as a Palestinian author, in the context of the last... century... anyway?
Ok, less about me and more about this book. It's a short, and well-crafted novel, in two parts. In the first half, the reader is put in direct contact with the cold point of view of an Israeli soldier in the few days that lead up to the rape and murder of a young Arab woman. In the second part, decades later, a Palestinian woman seeks to reconstruct the full truth of those events. You don't need me to tell you that this can be a triggering read -- but if you can handle it, it's a good one.
The writing is deceivingly simple in appearance. You will not be stumped by the sentence structures -- but the overall structure of the story itself is complex, interlacing within itself.
There are obvious mirrors to anyone who paid attention in literature classes. The dog's barking echoes like an ominous bell across the two parts. The two main characters (unnamed) both descend into a sort of feverish paranoia.
There are two scenes that I keep going back to in my mind, one from each part.
In part 1, the soldier gets stung by an insect, and his state deteriorates. As he gets more unwell, he becomes more and more meticulous and controlling regarding his environment, obviously unwilling to risk a second incident, all the while growing more and more ill. One night, or day, as he avoids the burning sun, he gets up and smashes every single insect he can find; big spiders, small spiders, even a moth. The text doesn't tell you, but you can guess -- this won't help him at all; he's already sick ; and a moth? What harm could the moth ever inflict upon him? What it reveals is his obsession for control, born out of the fear of one unpleasant but seemingly non-lethal bite, inflicted by a creature who got trapped under his shirt when he slept for the first time in a house that belonged to someone else, that we as readers imagine to be dead or trying to find refuge far away from their old home. You read it and you can't help but think about children, a week ago, yesterday, today, probably right now. Moths as well. Humans treated like insects and all lumped into a bag of "killables".
In part 2, the woman goes to work. She calls it "her new job" but you soon get the sense that she may have been at it for a while. She struggles with the limits of things, where to put them and where they end and if she's the one in charge of drawing the limit or of following its implications. This, in the context of a country whose borders are regularly pushed inward like a booby trap designed to crush its victims, is such a simple sentence, but a terrifying one. Anyway, that's not even the scene. She goes to work. On her way there, she gets stopped by soldiers telling her that the way is blocked, as they are leading an operation to deal with some young people ("terrorists" was the word, I think) holed up in a nearby building. She finds another way to access the building, where she opens the windows so the glass won't break. Soon after, there is an explosion, and the glass doesn't break. She focuses on the dust, which she abhors, because it comes in a cloud and covers her work station and the papers she's working on. It's rough and dry and hard to deal with. Her priority in that moment is to get the dust off of her papers, so that she can keep working. This resonated deeply with me. Even though my situation is, no doubt, much less depressing and much less dangerous than hers, how often have I ignored a horror I can't deal with to focus on the stupid minute details of something I do have some form of impact on? In the text, the narrator worries that this may be difficult to understand, focusing on the dust, when a literal bomb blew up nearby, but I really don't think it is. With the state of things, how they've been and how they've been going, worldwide, locally, continentally, nationally, whatever you want, and how powerless it makes a lot of us feel, I think it's inevitable to focus on what you can actually affect. And she's right, it is so silly, in a way. But maybe it is just a survival strategy as well, and it doesn't mean that one cannot care, or try to have a bigger impact, or be more involved in attempts to change things ; indeed, the woman eventually draws from every resource at her disposal to try something -- maybe "anything", I'm not sure. I mean, I've been giving my opinion and feelings here, but it'd be presumptuous to say that I really understand the author's intent.
On that note, I was hungry for more after I was done reading, so I watched a few interviews. How ironic that Adania Shibli herself got arrested when she visited the same museum her character visits, because they had "never seen a Palestinian woman with a computer". This simple sentence weighs on my mind as well, again not entirely sure why. How ironic, as well, that her award ceremony was postponed in the wake of October 7th. As if her getting her prize was going to deafen Israeli voices (I'm referring to the justification given by the book fair in question). As if this really was a simple mathematical problem, in which pain can only be recognized under one flag at a time. As if recent history showed dominance of Palestine over Israel. As if human pain wasn't universal.
I don't claim to know everything, but the level of bullshit kind of makes me feel insane sometimes. Anyway, please don't try to debate me -- this is only a book review, and I am only a random fuck with basic principles of "I don't like it when people are hurt" and no free time to argue why that's my principle.
#chatterbones#bones reads#i didnt reread myself bc i feel like if i dont post it immediately then ill lose my nerve#i feel like im gonna get insane stuff in my notes and im not eager to see it#palestine#adania shibli#minor detail#un détail mineur#also genuinely the real crime here is how all over the place i am in this post. this must be unreadable and it's probably hard to understan#what i mean to express. which is also why i think i'll get insane stuff--i think it's easy to misread my intentions here. and i also#think that im likely to express myself in ignorant ways that may trigger someone. like very likely actually. i did my best to try to think#ahead and prevent this but there's only so much you can do.#palestinian literature#so... it's messy... but at least it's honest? if i revise this then i will truncate it and smooth it down to something completely different#so... i decided not to. because what's the point of reading books if i come out of it closed-off and soulless. if i dont try to connect wit#others authentically. why do we do art if not to try to communicate SOMETHING.#anyway. as you can see I was very affected while reading and then i am very affected while reviewing.#maybe i should do a review pt 2 in like 5-10 years to see how this node of thoughts and emotions evolved.#ok. close your eyes and hit send
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Cockwarming w Sevika
(would like to add this is only my second time writing anything NSFW so no i am not the best and the more i reread this the more i hate it so here i am posting it before i hate it too much, anyways enjoy ya little sevika enthusiasts)
It started with you coming into sevikaâs space, desperate for attention and it ended with her annoyed and you sat on her lap with the strap buried deep inside you, she was annoyed at youâre bothersome antics and desperate attempts for attention and this was your punishment.
Her grip on your hips were unyielding and every small movement never escaped her notice.
âQuit moving.â She warns in a low tone as she delivers a small warning smack to your thigh, yet her eyes never look up from what sheâs doing
She doesnât see the need in your eyes, the furrow of your brows, the way your bottom lip is stuck between your teeth as you bit it. She didnât have to look at you to know what your expression was.
âSevika..please-â Your pleas gets cut short as Sevika raises a brow and looks up at you with a silent warning in her eyes
âI said no. Youâre going to sit here and warm this cock like a good girl, okay?â Sevika responds in a cold tone but you didnât miss the lust in her eyes as she looked back at her task
You bit back the urge to whine or whimper as you knew the better you listened the more likely you were to get what you wantedâŠbut the feeling of being so full, the tip pressing against all the right places even with each unintentional movement was making your need harder to contain.
Minutes passed and to you it felt like hours, you were so needy you started to try and subtly shift your hips, just a little as you were desperate.
âWhat did I tell you?â Sevika says as her grip on your hips grows increasingly tighter, she speaks through clenched teeth
âI couldnât help it! This is torture!â You whine out as you grip onto your own thighs as you lean forward a bit, Sevikaâs irritation makes her snap.
In one quick movement the stuff on top of the desk was thrown to the floor and she stood up, pushing the toy deeper into you as she pushed you with her and bent you over the desk, she didnât wait to start snapping her hips into you, driving the toy into you over and over again as her hips slam against your ass.
âThis what you wanted, Hm? To be fucked? Have this tight fucking hole ruined by me?â Sevika says through gritted teeth as she reaches a hand around to start circling your clit and the other hand grabs a fistful of your hair, yanking you back
âY-yesâŠFuckâŠyes!â You moan out your response as you had quickly became cock dumb, unable to focus on anything other than the way sevika fucks you and handles you
âLook at you, practically drooling over how iâm fucking youâ Sevika reaches down and grabs your thigh, lifting it onto the desk so she can drive the toy deeper into your dripping cunt, squelching with each deep thrust
Your eyes were half lidded and to sevika, you had the most sluttiest expression she had ever seen and she was loving it, she started to rub your clit faster as she placed her free hand on the desk next to your head, her head dipping to place her mouth right next to your ear
âBe a good girl, Cum for meâŠall over my cock, câmon babyâŠâ Sevika cooâs into your ear, knowing that her sweet tone would send you over
You gripped the wood of the desk under you as you had felt your orgasm wash over you, your eyes rolled back and you arched your back down and pressed your chest against the cool material as you moaned out desperately, squeezing the toy so tightly as you came all over it, Sevikaâs name leaving your lips like a prayer.
âGood girlâŠsuch a good girl for me..â Sevika slows her movements as she turns her head and places a soft kiss on your shoulder
Once your orgasm had passed she slowly slid out of you and took the harness off and set it aside, she sat back in her seat and pulled you with her, letting you curl up in her lap, your head laid on her shoulder as she ran her fingers through your hair
âYou did so good for me, babyâŠI love youâ Sevika whispers softly as she kisses your head then lays her cheek on top of where she just kissed
âI love you moreâ You mutter out as your eyes were already closing and sleep was soon taking over
#sevika x y/n#sevika x you#sevika x reader#sevika season 2#sevika smut#sevika is my wife#sevika arcane#sevika#arcane sevika#arcane#arcane smut#arcane wlw
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PLEASE FUCKING HELP
#OML#so im rereading a book i absolutely love.#the symbolism is awesome and it has a very interesting theme.#i have read it twice over 4 year and am now 1/5 in my third time#i still love it#(listen that might not seem often but i literally rarely read. theres better things to do. i do want to read more)#i think its my fav book ever. i have a physical copy from when my school library was giving away damaged books)#.ANYWAY#it takes place near a real physical place. so i was looking to find the main town with google maps.#(it apparently doesnt happen in an irl town but =w= thats fine)#(its actually relatively closeby where i live so i might've decided to visit it were it real)#AND. during that search. i found.#apparently there'll be a fucking sequel!!!!#i cannot explain how happy that makes me#i was near tears fr.#YIPPPEEEEE#anyway idk what to think about it because the og ending really was well resolved imo but =w=bbbb#NO COMPLAINTS#idk i could only find two sources but theyre both trusted and. its not that big of a book anymore. at all.#this is awesome#sillyposting
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Curry chicken for BREAKFAST
#speculation nation#spicy breakfast with some nice coffee. life is good.#im working on finishing up my reread of itnl so i can resume writing today#probably not likely the new chapter will be out tonight. tho who knows ive surprised myself before lol#naw i work tomorrow morning i cant stay up too late. wouldnt have time to edit even if i did manage to finish writing today.#but Good Chance i'll have it out tomorrow. we'll see :p#i want to. it has now been over a week since the last update and i HATE that#which yea a week isnt That much time. but id been updating like every other day lmao i am not liking this lack of productivity#i have big plans for this story and i wanna get there as fast as possible#which means WRITING!!!!!!#tho im also gonna b working on watching the 98 anime too. which ngl is probably great for me writing meryl & milly#bc i just plain rushed thru the original trigun manga in one sitting. my memories of it are spotty.#aka why i need to continue my official reread of that too lol#ive jumped around rereading all sorts of different spots of the manga for research purposes. but that's always later stuff#aside from like chapters 17-20 of trigun original. those are very useful chapters.#uhmmm yea coffee and curry. aw fuck im turning this into a leblanc place huh. doing sojiro proud.#intl shit#Sure. it's relevant.
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I am not closely following the election results tonight, but I am occasionally seeing flashes of them out of the corner of my eye. The most obvious sign that things arenât going well right now is the complete lack of celebrating on my dash. I know what tumblr looks like when itâs happy. Maybe Iâll go to bed tonight and see something different in the morning. I hope to god that is the case. But Iâm thinking about the way Iâm thinking right now, and I want to get some stuff down before the future kicks in.
In 2016 I was in a period of my life I affectionately refer to as as my fuckup era. I wasnât even fucking up really. More just chilling out and falling short of the vague expectations Iâd had about what I was supposed to be doing after I graduated college. While my friends from college rented apartments in the city and got jobs that didnât supply you with a uniform shirt, I lived at home and worked as a barista at a fancy movie theater. Thatâs a real job you can do for almost five years. I didnât have a clue what the back half of my twenties should look like. The only long term plan I had in my life was moving out west with my best friend, and my plan for finding a job once I was out there was basically to cross my fingers and hope.
Those days werenât bad on the whole, but it felt like I was not actually living a life so much as I was goofing off in the waiting room. Sometimes that felt embarrassing, sometimes it felt fun, and sometimes it felt like I was completely pointless to the world.
On 2016âs Election Day, I went to bed early. After watching the votes come in, I needed the night to be over. I woke in a world that felt different than it had been the night beforeânot just in the actuality of who would be president but down to its foundations. I realized for the first time how much hope Iâd had in human nature because now I didnât feel it anymore. Itâs almost silly when I think about itâso many horrible things had already happened that year, people had done horrible things as long as there have been people, and I didnât think I was naive to thatâbut something clicked into place that morning.
It felt the same way my world had changed a year earlier, in 2015 during my last semester of college. My college victory lap felt like a prolonged downward spiral. Very early in the morning on a Monday, after pulling an all-nighter and overwhelmed by self-loathing that I could not just motivate myself to work on a paper that had been my only thought all weekend, I self-harmed for the first time in a way that was impossible to pretend it was anything else. Earlier that weekend, Iâd tried staving off the urges drawing or writing on my arm, something that did (and does) usually work. Iâd written this quote in silver sharpie on my forearm: âGood is not a thing you are. It's a thing you do.â
I picked that quote from the Ms. Marvel comics and liked the words so much, I thought that I wouldnât be willing to purposefully mess it up by hurting myself there. Didnât work. They just made me feel more ashamed of myself as I did it.
That was the worst I had ever felt. Then, on the Friday of that week, a friend of mine was senselessly, brutally murdered.
It doesnât feel now like there was ever a time before her death. My memoir class is now where I wrote about her. My favorite professor is now the one who held me as I cried. My final thesis, the culmination of my history degree, never got finished and certainly never got polished. I turned it what I had and got an A minus. Sometimes I think of rereading that paper to see if thatâs the grade it actually deserved. We hadnât been the closest friends, but my name was still on the email admin sent to professors, listing students who might be emotionally affected by this tragic event. Graceâs murder hangs over every memory I have with her and everything she ever touched. It feels like its own type of obliteration to leave her reduced to her death.
Grace wanted to be a lawyer because she believed in justice and also liked arguing. She could be rude when she wasnât interested in what you were saying. When you caught her attention, you felt like the most fascinating person in the room. She was so proud of being Jewish. I watched her become proud of being gay. She was so universally friendly that it took me a year to realize that she actually liked specifically me. She had a somewhat silly laugh and an astonishingly luminous smile.
I thought less of the world and the people in it because of how she died. Trumpâs election in 2016 felt like that.
After he won, I left stasis. From November through December, I thought harder about my future than I ever had before. Who did I want to be? What did I most value? What did I think was worth protecting? What work wouldnât kill me to do? At one point, in presumably a fit of madness, I thought, âwhat if I got into politics.â Epiphany eventually hit me. By the time of Trumpâs inauguration, I was already enrolled at community college, getting my pre-reqs for nursing school.
Now itâs election night again, eight years later. I live on the west coast with my best friend, in a house that we bought together. I work as a nurse in a hospital in a city where there are homeless encampments off every highway and someone begging for change on every corner. Meanwhile, thereâs Palestine. Meanwhile thereâs Sudan. Meanwhile refugees drown in the sea and border patrol shoots jugs of water. Even hurricanes have human cruelty now.
I donât think people are inherently good or the universe inherently kind. But I am very good at tricking myself into thinking it for a little while, and when I do, I can remember the a specific feeling from Friday of my senior year, from that morning in Novemberâ how fucking hard the disappointment hit me because I had expected people to be better than this. It makes me want to be better than that.
I believe, and hope that I always will, that we can make a better world. I donât know what it looks like, but I think I will see it in my lifetime. Those of us who can believe such things owe a bit of that naĂŻvetĂ© to the worldânot to excuse atrocities or think them impossible but to believe that we can stop them at all. You have to have a couple people sprinkled around who are genuinely shocked when people do bad things. Itâs not that the pessimists are wrong, but you need the occasional counterbalance. I want to be a reasonable cynicâs pleasant surprise.
Every shift, I interact with people at their lowest and worst. I see the direct pipeline from pain to anger to violence, and how fragile that pipeline can be. So many situations can be changed by things as small as a warm blanket or a kind word. Violence can be quite easy to avert. Crises can be quite simply to resolve. Even when I know that whatever I do that shift will not change the circumstances of a personâs life, I think that what I do that shift still matters.
Iâm lying in bed, writing this post instead of looking at the news. I wonder how tonight will change me. Been thinking about what Iâll do if Trump wins. Been thinking about how whatever I think I need to do under Trump will still need to be done if Harris clutches out a victory. I guess this is a pessimistâs optimism: to a degree the election doesnât matter. Good is not a thing you are. It is a thing you do. Our better world will always take a lot of work.
But please god please, why canât it be just a little easier to do it?
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Could you do ACOTAR men x reader headcanons where how they would react/ respond to reader shoving her cold hands up their shirts?
My hands and feet are always cold so I always have my hands in my pockets or in between my thighs. And I always have some hot hands packs in my jacket during the colder months.
As I am typing this, Iâm waiting for my socks to finish warming up in the dryer so my feet are warm đ
Always so Cold
ACOTAR Men x reader
A/n: Iâm always cold too anon and this weather is killing me bc of my Raynaudâs. I hope your socks are nice and toasty babes đ„°
Also @redbleedingrose did one like this a while ago and I reread it all the time it's so good (along with literally everything else she writes) you can read it here
Warnings: none
Rhysand
He would be working when you come into his office and youâd innocently start rubbing his shoulders
Your hands go lower and lower until you shove your frozen fingers down his shirt
Rhys let out a small scream, âWhy are your hands always freezing!?â You let out a giggle as you rub them against his chest trying to soak up his warmth
He pulls your hands out from his shirt, leading you to sit on his lap
Your shivering at this point from the loss of heat which does not go unnoticed by your mate
âMy darling, youâre freezing come here.â You sit on his lap as Rhys pulls you into his chest. âA little.â
Rhys scoffs lifting you up going to sit by the fire. âWarm yet my love?â You pretend to think for a moment before shaking your head. âNope. I think we should go to bed and snuggle.â Rhys lets out a laugh kissing your forehead. âThat sounds like a great idea darling.â
Cassian
Cass is just minding is business making a snack in the kitchen when you sneak up behind him
You plaster your hands on the back of his neck and he drops whatâs in his hands letting out a shocked sound
Cassian pulled away and turned to look at your silly smile
âWhy!? And why are you always so gods damned cold?â You let out a loud laugh and move to shove your hands up his shirt
You hug him and keep your hands against his warm skin. Cassian hugs you, rubbing your back to warm you up. âWhy donât we go snuggle on the couch, Iâll make hot cocoa too.â
You let out a hum, âthat sounds perfect.â Cass shoos you away so he can make your drinks and snack
Azriel
Az would know when you're sneaking up on him thanks to his shadows
He lets you get close but at the last second Azriel spins around and grabs your wrists. You let out a squeal of surprise as your mate pulls you into his chest
"You will not get me with those icicles you call hands again." He says laughing with you as you try to break free from Az's grip
"But Azzy! I'm cold and need you to warm me up." You give him a fake pout while trying to hold back your laughter
Az lets out an exaggerated sigh, "Fine. I guess we should go upstairs and get you bundled up." "Can I have your hoodie that I love?" "Of course you can." He says placing a soft kiss on your head
Lucien
Lu is so unbothered by your cold hands so he always lets you grab at him
He just raises his body temp more making it so you're suuper warm
He hates that you get so cold. While you make jokes about it he is genuinely concered becuase no one should be that cold all the time
When you do come up to him Lucien insists you snuggle on the couch
You lay on top of him and Lucien wraps you up in a blanet, using his powers to become your personal heater
Usually you end up falling asleep perfectly toasty
Eris
Eris just lets you put your hands up his shirt and your hands wander all over his torso
He just looks down at you with a fake annoyed look
You smile at him knowing that he's worried about you and your cold hands
He carefully removes your hands bringing them up to his mouth leaving soft kisses across the back of your hands
"Here my love." Eris whispered, encasing your hands in his, warming them with his powers
You lean into Eris to absorb more warmth
The lordling kisses the crown of your head lightly whsipering sweet nothings
#acotar#acotar fanfiction#acotar reader fic#acotar reader imagine#acotar imagine#azriel x reader#azriel acotar#rhysand x reader#rhysand acotar#cassian x reader#cassian acotar#rhysand headcanons#azriel headcanon#cassian headcanon#lucien x reader#lucien vanserra x reader#lucien headcanons#eris x reader#eris vanserra x reader#eris headcanons
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pussyplay with channie????? like taping and slapping??? oh god
this plagued me since the second i saw it earlier today so i had to write something for it or else i'd explode.
edit; i was rereading this and realized that you mightve meant taping as in (tape) and not tapping LMFAO if thats what u wanted lmk and iâll write you something for that bc i lowkey find that hotđâ„ïž
~700 words | warnings: fingering (f receiving), pussy slaps/taps, generally mean dom chris icl..., exhibitionism
god Chris and pussy slaps are so MMMMMMMMđč he's the type to do softer slaps just to tease but hard slaps as a punishment for you misbehaving and/or moving around too much. unless its a day where he's pissed off for whatever reason and you give him the ok to use you. then you're really in for it.
â„ let's say that something went wrong at the studio earlier today; maybe one of his files corrupted and he lost hours worth of progress. i lowkey think he'd be the type to be so angry that he would cry bc he admitted to having anger issues lmao but after that, he's coming home and walking in the door in pure silence. maybe slamming doors subconsciously and/or setting things down aggressively.
â„ and, being the good little toy you are, you pull him into the bedroom and give him the option to either [A] talk about it with you or [B] fuck his anger out using you <3 and who is he to deny that good of an ultimatum???
â„ so he'll get all rough and pin you down to the bed >< almost ripping your clothes as he takes them off. or- better yet, if you have nothing but his shirt on then he's simply pushing your panties to the side. he'll force a few fingers down your throat to wet them and then shove two right into your cunt
â„ he'll finger you soooo meanly and the second you start to squirm too much for his liking or the second your legs try to close, one of those pretty, veiny hands are coming down on your clit >< he might even pull his wet fingers out to slap them across your folds too before plunging them back in
THIS JUST CAME TO MIND BUT IF HE'S ANGRY HE'S DEFINITELY THE TYPE TO SAY SHIT LIKE "This greedy fucking pussy. So tight and can't fit all my fingers in it." *whack* "What am I gonna do with you."
â„ but he's not a complete sadist though, so he'll rub over the area a few times as an apology and maybe give you a kiss or two there. but that's all you're getting <3 because this is about him and for once in his life he's allowing himself to be greedy (đ«), so he's gonna sit there for as long as it takes for his anger to subside (not long but he can and will pretend to be angry just to keep going)
the first way i thought of him tapping your pussy is through your panties ><
â„ maybe you're at an event with him or you're out at dinner with him and the boys. maybe you're just a liiiittle more bratty than usual for whatever reason, maybe you were being rude/a brat the entire way there and now that everyone is sat, you just can't seem to keep your hands to yourself. so when it's <15 minutes into dinner, the appetizers haven't even arrived yet, and he already feels your hands on his thigh? his patience is thrown out the window.
â„ even more so when that hand moves right over the semi-hardon in his jeans and rubs it ever so lightly. then you're stealing his hand and sliding it under the table, to everybody else it looks like you guys are holding hands but trying to do so secretly, so if somebody notices they just smile and wiggle their eyebrows at the "PDA."
â„ but in reality you're sliding that hand between your parting thighs and placing your hand over his, basically instructing him to rub over your pussy through your already thin panties. and those thin panties that seem even thinner by the way your wetness seeps through.
â„ he'll shove his tongue into the skin of his cheek, squeeze his legs together to relieve some tension, and then he's swatting your hand away. he'll spread your folds through the fabric just to tap against your clit meanly. he wont even rub it or give it any other sort of attention; just tapping it softly sometimes then roughly the other. the rough ones make you actually jump/shiver and some of the guys catch on, but he'll just say you're cold.
â„ then he's not stopping until you start to make some noise, either if whines start to come out of your throat or if your breaths turn into low moans. at that point, he'll pat you a singular time and remove his hands. he'll act like nothing happened the rest of the night... until you get home c;
#đ„ą anon#sianâs writing#skz smut#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#bang chan smut#bang chan x reader#bang chan x reader smut#bang chan imagines#chan smut#chan x reader#chan x reader smut#chan imagines#skz x reader#skz x reader smut
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I am the Princess in the Tower.
You know, people hear that, and they say, "Oh, that poor Princess, she must be so lonesome up there. Some cruel fate must have befallen her, to be trapped so."
It's true, to a certain extent. I am lonesome. There's no shortage of princes and princesses - I have to wonder where they all come from - who come to try to rescue me from my captivity. None of them ever get particularly close, of course. The Tower is surrounded by a dark and tangled wood, monsters of flesh and stone stalk the grounds, invisible barriers and devious traps block all entry, and even if they got to the base of the Tower, they'd have to figure out how to climb up a sheer, frictionless vertical surface while automatically triggered fireballs rained down upon them... it's pretty well defended, is what I'm trying to say. Every single one of them gets sent packing, cursing the wizard who built the Tower and imprisoned me.
Which is, you know, pretty funny, when you get right down to it.
I mean, it's only natural to assume that, right? Wizards are mysterious, they pop in and out all the time. If one decides to suddenly vanish one day, well, he's probably just off calculating the angles of reality, or whatever, he'll be back. And if a girl appears in his Tower, well, of course he kidnapped a Princess for his own unfathomable wizard purposes.
It hardly matters that there aren't any kingdoms missing a Princess.
I don't correct them, anyway. It's safer for me if nobody knows who I am, or how I've changed. Safety was, after all, why I built the Tower in the first place. You think wizards do this for fun? Out in the middle of nowhere, forced to conjure food and water? Having to walk up and down twenty flights of stairs if I feel like going outside?
Wizards build towers when they are scared shitless.
See, I cast this divination spell when I was an apprentice, and I fucked it up. It constantly shows me visions of my own doom...
Not buying it?
Well, there was this devil, see, and I tricked him into thinking I'd signed my soul away, so now he stalks me forever, seeking vengeance through the very shadows themselves...
No good?
Well, I was cursed as a wee babe, and now all the world is my enemy, from the mightiest warrior to the softest blade of grass, and each one thirsts for my blood!
...I would have died to that one, like, immediately, huh.
Okay. Fine. I'm just... a coward. I built my Tower as far away from everything and everyone that could possibly do me harm as I could. I studied magic because it felt like the best way to avoid any and all hard work, conflict, and danger. I held off on telling anyone anything about who I truly was or what I wanted until I felt I could be absolutely safe.
And still, with "rescuers" at my door just waiting for my hand, I can't bear to look at them. The idea of one even getting close enough to attempt to climb the Tower (it's happened more than once) is terrifying. I could ask them to stop, but who would believe me? "Yes, I, the Princess in the Tower, am totes fine, please go away forever thanks, I am not an evil wizard." That'd go over well.
There's another princess that just made her way through the Woods and slayed one of my constructs. She'll be at the Tower base soon. She's got really pretty hair
I wish
I hope that you
Please don't
I'm writing this down here, and then I'm gonna go hide. If you're reading this,
The blue-armored princess flipped the paper over to the other side. It was blank. Her hair smoldered from the fireball she'd almost dodged, and she drummed her fingers on the hilt of her blade as she reread the first side. Aside from the paper, the room - and, indeed, the entire interior of the Tower - seemed completely empty.
#relia writes#eggbug writes#fantasy#first thing ive written in kind of a while#im considering running away from a lot of things#a tower sounds really nice right now
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i'm totally NOT touch starved so IM TOTALLY NOT asking for peeta mellark and touch starved reader... totally NOT. (i love your writing sm âșïž)
i am FINALLY giving the people what they want!! i know this isn't a whole fic/imagine but instead headcanons, BUT! it is finally peeta. i promise there will be more peeta content in the future. im working my way through the movies again and im about to reread the books, i want to be accurate about his portrayal so y'all feel like its more realistic, but here is a lil taste of what is to come! i rly hope you enjoy <3 btw!! this takes place after EVERYTHING in the books. ur basically katiness.
âą Peeta is a huge softy, he's cuddly, loving, affectionate, and definitely touch starved himself. He's the type of guy to mostly have his own contact with you in some way. Sometimes he will grip onto your arm, he'll have his arm around your shoulder or your waist, or even just grip onto your shirt. When you're sitting on the couch, he opts to sit hip to hip even when the entirety of the couch is empty. When you're not cuddling in bed, you're facing opposite sides, sleeping butt-to-butt. Even with that being said, sometimes Peeta needed some space, his own bubble. You, however, did not love that.
âą This is exactly why it was somewhat difficult for Peeta to understand touchstarved!reader. Regardless of how close you were, you needed more. Anytime you're walking in the district, rather it's to pick up some ingredients for the bakery or simply a leisurely walk, if he opted not to hold on to you in some way, you'd freak a little. You'd grip onto his hand, either squeezing it in yours or holding onto his larger fingers.
âą Whenever dishes were being done or chores were tended to, you would wrap your arms around his waist from behind or follow him at the heel. You were desperate for his attention, his affection, his touch. Without it, you felt cold and disconnected. His touch pleased the ache that prickled against your skin from years of desperately wanting to be held.
âą At night, you'd squeeze up under his arm. Your head would be tucked into his armpit, your arms wrapped around him as you tugged him close, closing your eyes and taking in his smell. When you'd fall asleep facing away from each other, Peeta wouldn't even notice you flip over to face him once he was fast asleep, curling up against him, squeezing him tightly like your life depended on it.
âą In all honesty? It felt like your life did depend on it. You were a tribute alongside with Peeta, you'd both been through hell and back together. You had nightmares and he was the only one that could ground them. Part of your touch starved desperation came from the times you were alone, afraid, for yourself, for your lover. It was difficult.
âą A lot of nights Peeta would ensure he'd hold you close, all too aware that he was the cure to your nightly insanity. This made you feel better, softer, warmer. On days when you were simply cuddling in bed together, you felt like you couldn't get enough. Your legs would be tangled with his, your foreheads touching, arms wrapped around one another. But nothing felt good enough. In instances like these, you would climb into his shirt, sticking your head through the hole for his own head, one that was stretched out from the many times you'd done this, one he specifically designated as his lounge shirt for this reason. Other times you would both strip your clothes off, cuddling skin to skin while Peeta would stroke your hair, pressing soft kisses to your forehead.
âą All in all, Peeta is a gentle and caring lover, understanding of your needs. He'd do his best to meet them, even when it meant staying glued to your hip. He loved you, the history you two had, the stuff you'd been through, and he'd do anything to ensure your happiness and your safety. After all, you were who saved him, who kept him grounded as well, the love of his life... but, his thoughts are for another story.
#peeta mellark smut#peeta mellark imagine#peeta mellark edit#peeta mellark x reader#peeta mellark fluff#peeta mellark headcanon#peeta mellark fanfic#josh hutcherson x reader#josh hutcherson#josh hutcherson fanfic#josh hutcherson fluff#josh hutcherson imagine#mike schmidt smut#mike schmidt imagine#mike schmidt x reader#mike schmidt fluff#peeta x reader#peeta mellark whump#the hunger games peeta#peeta my beloved#thg peeta
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