#I’m 2/3(?) of the way through 5.2 so I’m almost there

[wifegideonnav]

homestuck is getting SAD and i don’t WANT THIS i want to read about shitty children lovingly bullying each other i don’t want to watch them sobbing over each other’s corpses :/

[floralquafloral]

Watch out it's random splatoon headcanon time again

I was thinking about splatting and respawning recently, and @acid-hues used no less than Three looking emojis when I asked if anyone would want to hear my thoughts about how that stuff works, so here goes. Warning for potentially fatal quantities of pseudoscience, since I'm not a biologist or a chemist, just a goober who likes the squid game too much ;P

1. What is splatting?

Splatting is a reflex in inklings and octarians that occurs when they're been critically injured. It allows the cephalopod to escape and recover from a potentially fatal situation, effectively unharmed. Almost all of their body mass is liquefied to ink in a similar process to squid-form transformation, but it's all lost, resulting in the characteristic splatter. The only remaining structure is the "squid soul", which isn't actually a soul so much as a balloon-like vessel that can (under the right conditions) develop into a whole inkling body again.

2. What is a squid soul?

Squid souls aren't actually incorporeal souls, they're just very complicated (and lightweight) biological structures that contain all the mechanisms and information necessary to create an inkling body. Kind of analogous to an egg: given food and time, an egg can turn into a whole animal. Squid souls are just a great deal more precise, in that they generate an inkling body almost exactly as it was before, including the brain and all the inkling's memories and such. The squid soul itself, like an egg, isn't really comparable to an actual inkling - the soul can't talk, or eat, or think. The squid soul doesn't have a brain, and it only has just enough nervous system to seek out a location where it can respawn into a proper body. It uses a rudimentary form of the same senses that allow for the Turf Map. Because the squid soul isn't conscious, getting splatted kind of just feels like a very violent form of teleportation.

More information on the processes & technology behind respawning under the readmore :)

3. How does a squid soul respawn?

Squid souls can only develop into a proper inkling body if they can access two things: A bunch of biomass, and a bunch of electricity. Biomass is necessary because almost all of the inkling's original body has been exploded all over the place, so you need a bunch of stuff to make a new one. A large enough well of pure ink can contain all the necessary material for a body, but most respawn tech uses solutions of ink with other useful things dissolved into it. Respawning from a well of pure ink doesn't feel very good. Pure ink doesn't contain a very good amount of vitamins, iron, etc., so the new body will probably have less of that stuff in it than the old one.

Electricity is necessary to separate different compounds out of the ink, and to provide the energy required for some of the chemical reactions that need to take place - you can't just mush a bunch of ink together and get a body out of it.

4. What could prevent a successful respawn?

This part is pure headcanon, since there's nothing from the base game that relates to this, as far as I'm aware.

Some sources of injury won't trigger the splat reflex; the most common example is prolonged exposure to small amounts of water. Getting caught in heavy rain for hours can dissolve the body without ever triggering the splat reflex, so you just... don't come back.

Old age or severe illness can inhibit the reflex as well. If a young and healthy squid gets hit by a bus, they will explode and come back at the nearest respawn point. If someone whose splat reflex isn't working gets hit by a bus, then they just get run over, which very bad. Alternatively, in some cases the splat reflex could fail to generate a squid soul, so you'd just explode and not get to respawn, which would be exceedingly terrible.

For the kind of squid who would sign up for Turf Wars, there's basically no chance of this stuff happening, but there are still mandatory physicals before you can sign up for a Turf War just to make sure.

Lastly, of course, if someone gets splatted too far away from a viable respawn point, the squid soul will expire after only a few minutes.

5. What kind of tech allows for a respawn?

There are four different places you can respawn in-game: In the online battle maps (5.1), in the Octarian domes (5.3), in the Deepsea Metro's test stations (5.4), and from a Grizzco Tank (5.5). There's also presumably some way to respawn if you just, like, fall out of a tree and get splatted in the public park or something (5.2). There's also the floating respawn-thingies from the Splatoon 3 trailer, but since I don't know how they work in-game yet I don't have anything to make headcanons around. 🤷‍♀️

5.1. Turf War respawn pads: They're cheap to make, they work quickly, and they can handle dozens of squids getting splatted during a single 3-minute battle with no need for oversight during the game. It's worth remembering that the squid soul isn't sapient, it has no regards for the rules of a Turf War - so what prevents someone on Yellow Team from respawning at Purple's base? The answer is that, under most circumstances, the biomass requirement for a respawn can only be met with ink that matches your colour. Different colours of ink have different chemical compositions, so a squid soul that's seeking out a viable location to create a yellow squid won't be able to sense the purple respawn pad as a viable location.

The limitation of the Turf War pad is that they're not perfectly reliable. Occasionally it just won't appear as a viable respawn location to a squid soul, so someone will end up respawning outside the battle, which forfeits them from the match. (i'm only including this because i'm proud of coming up with an in-universe explanation for disconnects)

5.2. City respawn pads: Outside of inksports, it's still a good idea to have respawn pads all over the place so that if someone gets splatted they have somewhere to respawn. City pads, unlike Turf War pads, are designed to be 100% reliable and work for any ink color. Their natural drawback is that they require constant oversight. "Respawn operator" is a job you can have in most major population centers, that mostly involves sitting around, making sure nothing looks broken, and greeting anyone who shows up at the pad.

Getting splatted outside a battle isn't especially common (splatting someone outside a battle is a pretty serious no-no), so any given pad in the city will usually only get 1-2 respawns a day, if any at all. When someone shows up, the operator is supposed to write down their name, the time they respawned, and the reason they got splatted. If it was because of something legally messy like a road accident, they'll have more work to do to get that sorted out. If it was because of a Turf War pad failure, they'll contact the Judds to get that cleared up. If you were with someone when you got splatted, it's common courtesy to send a text or call once you respawn so they don't have to worry; since you won't have your phone with you when you respawn that's something the operator is also supposed to help with. Respawn operators are pretty helpful in general - if you tell them "I don't know how to get back to my house from here", they can usually give you a map or directions or something.

To allow for anyone to respawn at a City pad, they're filled with a very bright and saturated brown ink solution. This colour is unique in that basically any other ink colour can change into it very easily; if you get splatted while you've got red ink, you'll show up at the city pad with brown ink. This is why bright brown ink isn't frequently used for inksports (definitely not because the developers didn't want it to look like they're using poop for turf wars).

5.3. Octarian Checkpoints: As electricity is a precious and scarce resource for Octarians, their respawn pads are designed to use as little of it as possible. An Inkopolis respawn pad has a current running through it constantly, which combined with the large amount of ink, allows squid souls to perceive it as a viable respawn location. In contrast, Octarian checkpoints don't offer any ink or electricity when inactive. They only switch on when a nearby Octarian soldier gets splatted, using a signal transmitted by the Octarian's equipment. When they turn on, they temporarily fill with ink and run an electrical current, allowing the soldier's octo soul to make its way over and respawn before the checkpoint shuts down again.

The signal receiver of the checkpoints has a vulnerability that allows it to be overridden, which will fill it with any colour of ink solution and render it unable to receive power-on signals. The Hero Tanks worn by Agents 3 and 4 do this automatically when the agents get close to a checkpoint - this is why they're black before an agent gets close, then change to match their ink colour. However, once the checkpoint is overridden, it still doesn't provide electricity, and in fact can't be activated at all. The Hero Tank allows them to be used regardless by putting an electrical charge into the squid soul itself, so that it only needs the well of ink solution. It can only store up to three respawns worth of charge, though. If an agent gets splatted while the battery is empty, they're toast.

Octarians, of course, can't respawn at a checkpoint that's been overridden, not only because it won't power on but also because it doesn't match their ink colour anymore. Only one checkpoint will receive the power-on signal when an Octarian gets splatted, so when an overridden checkpoint is the one that receives the signal, there will be nowhere on the base for the Octarian to respawn. Instead, they'll end up in another dome, or in a civilian respawn pad. The agents aren't murderers, okay?

5.4: Deepsea Metro Test Station Checkpoints: The testing stations in the Deepsea Metro are adapted from Octarian checkpoints, but with some tweaks to reflect the different priorities of Kamabo Co. as opposed to the Octarian military. Metro checkpoints have their remote-activation functionality stripped out, and instead permanently activate once the test subject reaches them, filling with ink solution and receiving a constant electrical current. They probably still have the same vulnerability as the Octarian checkpoints, but Agent 8's has no means of exploiting it, and no reason to anyways - the checkpoints are already configured to match her colour, since they're there for the express purpose of respawning test subjects.

Because Metro checkpoints always match Agent 8's ink colour, the sanitized octarians in the test courses have nowhere they can respawn. Instead, they are simply replaced as needed.

5.5: Grizzco Tanks: I'll be honest, I can't come up with any good explanations for this one. The way it traps the squid soul inside it probably has to do with the same interference that blocks the Turf Map, but the explanation for why you have to shoot it to activate a respawn is beyond me. The best I can do is list what can be ruled out:

It's not because it's using the ink from the shot for mass. If the Grizzco tank itself doesn't contain enough ink for a respawn, then there's no way a single Inkbrush swing would output enough to make up the difference.

It's not using the kinetic energy from the shot to trigger some sort of chemical reaction. Getting hit by a Steelhead bomb or a Flyfish missile don't revive the player, even though they surely have more kinetic energy than something like a Bloblobber bubble, which can.

The weapons themselves aren't providing an electrical charge. If Grizzco could modify a Splattershot to output enough electricity to enable a respawn, then the tank would be capable of doing that itself without needing to be shot.

Whatever it is, it's probably not very good for you long-term to respawn like that. Grizzco just gives off those vibes, like working there is totally gonna mess up your health when you're older.

[whenimaunicorn]

Playing House Part 5.2

Vikings College AU, Dom/sub/Dom,  Ivar x Reader, Ubbe x Reader

It’s a broke, submissive college girl’s dream: living for free with your two crushes in exchange for doing all the housework. The Lothbrok boys wanted a “thrall,” and now you’re hoping they’ll notice that you’re game for all kinds of “services.” Ivar seems to know exactly what you’re looking for, but you’ve never met a Dom so mysterious, constantly keeping you off-balance and not sure what to expect next. And then there’s his brother Ubbe, who may not understand the kind of game you’re trying to play here, but makes up for it in raw sexiness and eager desire for you. But will these two strong-willed boys be able to play nice and share you as you live out one of your hottest fantasies with them both?

This fic is so far away from canon that it should be accessible to anyone that can imagine being in college and wanting to be submissive to two hot bros at the same time. 

Catch up: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 (you can also find the whole thing on ao3)

A/N: after an embarrassingly long hiatus, I think I’m ready to finish this fic now. I have all the rest of it planned out, I think there will be 3 more chapters. And if I continue my streak of posting the chapters in part 1 and 2 chunks here on Tumblr, then I guess you have a lot to look forward to!

Also, you might want to review the previous section; what’s included below is pretty much all smut straight through. If you need a little seduction to get back in the mood first, the first half of the chapter is here.

Ubbe’s cock feels so good under your hand. How long had you been dreaming about touching it? How many times has he taunted you with the sight of it, letting you know how you had been affecting him on the most primal of levels. You take the time to savor it now, stroking that tantalizingly wide shaft through the thick fabric of his jeans.

“Do you like that?” Ubbe asks you, voice slow and thick. He’s got one hand on the wheel, one hand on the stick, and he keeps his eyes mostly on the road even as you slide and sculpt around the length of him. Ubbe drives like a speed demon, and apparently he can’t take it easy even with a distraction like you and your willing hand in his car. He shifts gears and tilts the wheel in tight, expert little motions, passing another car he deemed to be driving too slow. You know from driving with him in the past that just about everybody on the road qualifies for that judgment.

“I do,” you answer, with what you hope wasn’t too much self-conscious hesitation.

“Yeah?” Ubbe takes his hand off the shifter just long enough to pop open the button at the top of his fly, angling his hips enough to ease the zipper down. “Want to take a closer look?” He keeps his eyes on the road, letting you stare at the perfect profile of his chiseled face.

You never realized before this moment how much lust and hunger could feel similar. The prospect of getting your hands, and probably your mouth if the streets were dark enough, on Ubbe’s cock is actually making your mouth water right now.

Your fingers dance up to the opening in his fly. Ubbe puts his hand back on the shifter and leans his hips a little further, making more room for you. A heavy breath escapes him as your fingertips dive under the fabric.

The noise makes your submissive soul tingle. You’re quite sure Lauren or Sonya wouldn’t stoop to giving a guy road head before he’d even taken them out on a date, when you’d barely even had time to share more than a few breathless kisses yet, but you like feeling a little bit like a whore. If Ubbe wants this right now, why on earth would you withhold it from him?

You slide your fingertips across his lower belly, seeking the waistband of his boxer briefs. You allow yourself to indulge just a little in tracing your fingers along his skin, playing with the trail of hairs that tempt you lower. Ubbe rumbles an appreciative little sound, though you can almost detect a little whine at the end of it. He wants you to get on with it, doesn’t he.

Your fingers slip under the elastic band and feel down along the warmth of his body. The hairs get thicker and thicker as you go, though you can tell Ubbe keeps them cropped fairly short down here. You make contact with the side of his shaft; he’s angled mostly up and a little bit away from you, and you tickle your fingers up and down the edge of it.

“Fuck,” Ubbe whispers through his teeth; then, without looking away from the road: “are you teasing me right now?”

You give him a cute giggle, and a few more light, quick fingertip strokes. “Maybe.”

His brow crinkles, crookedly, and he glances at you like he can’t quite believe what he just heard. “I thought you were a good girl.” Blood rushes to your face. “Or do you want me to treat you like a bad girl, hm?” Watching you out of the corner of his eye, he reaches behind your head, curling his fingers into your hair, close to the scalp just above your neck. He tugs once, and you moan at the tiny pain.

You accept the reprimand, relishing the way he’s taken control of your head, and push your fingers deeper into his pants. You wrap them around the warm velvet iron of his shaft. The contact feels electric against your palm.

He groans, first tightening his grip on your hair, creating a sharp pain, and then releasing it quickly, as if he had only just realized how hard he was pulling. He scratches your scalp in an appreciative caress as you trace your loosely-cupped fist up and down the length of him. “Fuck.”

There is barely any room to work him while still inside his pants. You’re just pondering whether you should take his dick out, and what’s the best route for that, when Ubbe stops the car at a traffic light. The street isn’t busy, but there is another vehicle waiting alongside yours. Still not as much privacy as you would like.

Ubbe’s hand leaves the shifter, returning to the back of your head and pulling you toward him, his mouth meeting yours halfway for a searing kiss that seems to go on and on. He breaks away as decisively as he went in, shifting gears before you’ve even opened your eyes, barely crossing the intersection before he’s shoving the top of his undies down, letting the full length of his cock spring free.

It’s magnificent in the flashing lights of the passing streetlights. The ruddy head of it looks positively swollen with need, and you lean over his hand on the shifter to wrap your lips around its tip. You flit your tongue, tasting the salt of pre-cum. More evidence of how much he’s been longing for you.

A guttural groan comes out of Ubbe’s throat. It sounds both pleasured and exasperated, and after you give him just one more lick, his arm that’s underneath your bent torso is pushing you up and away. He needs to shift the gearstick. You lift your head to see the oncoming red glow of another traffic signal.

Turns out, there are too many traffic stops on the drive home for you to give Ubbe any proper road head. Every time you lean down to run your tongue around that fat, glorious head, you get in no more than a few licks before he needs room to shift gears again. The whole stick shift thing is suddenly feeling a lot less sexy.

Settling back into your seat, you keep your hand wrapped loosely around his shaft, arm snaked under his and giving him plenty of room to change gears. You’re counting down the minutes with lazy strokes and firm squeezes until he pulls into the parking garage attached to your building.

You can’t help but notice that Ivar’s car is in its assigned parking space as Ubbe backs into his own beside it. He must be inside the apartment. It’s impressive, really, how Ubbe is able to reverse the car so competently between the narrow lines while your fist is still gripping his rock-hard erection. As soon as he’s got the car in ‘park,’ he kills the headlights, but does not turn off the engine. He reaches across to pull you in for a kiss, wild and needy. His mouth plays expertly across your own, sucking and nipping until you’re sure your lips will be swollen.

“Fuck, babydoll, you want it bad, don’t you,” Ubbe groans against your cheek. His mouth assaults your neck again, teeth grazing your skin and tugging at your ear. “Such a dirty little girl, grabbing a guy’s cock when he’s just trying to drive her home.” His kiss claims your mouth again before you can answer. You tug harder and he squares his hips toward you. He breaks away after one last a flourish of his tongue and wraps his hand around the back of your neck, pointing your face toward his straining cock. “Let’s see how far can you fit that down your throat.”

Your pussy clenches on nothing and you moan as you bend down to show him. You’re still not sure if Ubbe has any idea about doing BDSM the “right” way like Ivar does, but his frat boy, bad-porn style of dirty talk is working for you anyway. Your head is spinning at the whirlwind this night has turned into, as you suck his cock deep into your mouth. Not in a bad way, though; you’ve built enough of a relationship with Ubbe over the past weeks to know there’s a caring guy behind this disrespectful façade. It’s safe to let this thing get a little wild.

His cock is thick. It’s hard work to suck him down deeper, and the press of his blunt head at the back of your throat bothers you a little as you strive to show Ubbe just how far you can take him. Judging by his noises, you’re doing well, though, and his hands clench and un-clench in your hair as your head bobs up and down. Like he wants to encourage you but he’s holding himself back from choking you on the damn thing. “Fuck, that’s good, oh, take it deep like that.”

Soon instead of pushing you down, his clutching fingers start pulling you up.

“Get up here, straddle me, I want to see you.”

You kick your heels off quick as you can. Ubbe rips at the seat control and lays it back almost flat, giving you just enough space to plant your knees to either side of his hips on the expensive leather and hover your body over his. Your hands land on his shoulders, keeping you balanced while hunched under the roof, and while your faces are almost close enough to kiss again, Ubbe’s eyes are focused lower.

His palms run up your thighs, greedy, still muttering filthy nothings while pushing your skirt up until you remember you’re not wearing anything underneath it. You make a warning noise and he slows down, sliding around to the sides and then exploring the bottom curve of your ass carefully, reawakening the welts Ivar left there without causing any new damage. His gaze comes back to your face, pupils widening, as his hands cover both your cheeks. Reaching that far lifts his upper body closer to yours but still he doesn’t kiss you. Your skirt’s now shoved up high enough that you know your whole pussy would be visible through the front windows, if anyone were to come walking by. He spreads you further, and you wonder if he’s thinking about that too.

Does he want Ivar to catch you? Does he know you’ll be punished? Or does he not want the interruption, is that the reason that Ubbe’s tracing his fingers between your legs out here, and not taking you inside to his more comfortable bed. The questions blur and scatter as his finger slides along the slick he finds between your inner lips.

“Fuck, dirty girl,” he marvels, “you really like getting treated like this. You’re so fucking wet for me.” But he doesn’t plunge his fingers in like you’re expecting, like he did out on the balcony back at the party. Instead his hands slide up your sides, coming to scoop around your breasts, leaving your skirt rucked up high. “I want your tits out.” He pushes the straps of your tank top and bra down your shoulders, far enough to scoop your breasts out into the thin light of the parking garage’s scattered fluorescents. “That’s my beautiful, slutty little girl. Just imagine if someone came by and saw you like this.”

He slaps you across the side of your ass, lightly, but you’re sensitive enough to jump and moan just from that. His eyes follow the bounce of your breasts, hanging out of your shirt above him. Your clothes are still technically on, but they’re not covering anything important, are they.

“I love the idea of someone else seeing what I got to watch last night,” he murmurs, and then his fingertips are sliding between your slick folds again. “Would you come for me right here, with your pussy pointed right out the windshield?”

You moan in agreement, and his fingers find your clit. He keeps on muttering filthy nothings as he traps it with his fingers and squeezes, then rocks in circles that make your toes curl. His other hand squeezes into your thigh, trying to pull you closer. His lips trace the skin of your neck.

“Fuck. I can’t wait anymore.” The growling edge of his voice sounds ragged and you absolutely believe him on that. You’re feeling it too; his fingertip on your clit is amazing but after all the buildup of the past few days you need so much more than just a little teasing. “Will you ride me?”

You look down at his cock, still springing tall and proud from his open jeans, framed by your knees. You want nothing more than to sink right down onto it. “Do you have a condom?” you somehow remember to ask.

Ubbe grins darkly, and with only a little digging produces one from his pocket.

You pluck it from his fingers. “Let me.”

You’re so conscious of his eyes on your body as you sit up and concentrate on tearing the little packet open. Your bare thighs, your pert and exposed nipples, the teasing glimpse of your pussy that’s surely visible to him under the skirt that’s been pushed up to your hipbones.

Ubbe’s looking like a wet dream himself, reclined underneath you with his shirt riding up over cut abs, a light trail of hair leading down from his navel to the base of his straining cock. His pale eyes are rapt and so hungry he’s almost begging.

But only almost. As you roll the slippery latex over his fat head, a predatory spark blooms across his features. His fingers spasm and you know that as soon as you get this condom situated, you’re all his.

He scoops up your ass with both hands, pulling you closer to line yourself up. “You might be Ivar’s in there,” he murmurs, and there’s no trace of unhappiness in the words, “but right now you’re all mine. Show me. Sink yourself right down on it for me.”

So he does know. And, apparently, is entirely cool with the situation. You tease yourself with the tip of him for a moment, gliding it along your inner folds. With his eyes locking onto yours, Ubbe spits into his fingers and reaches out to coat your entrance, a cocky look on his face like he knows exactly how wide he is and how you’re going to need this to take him all the way in. Then he grasps himself at the base and presses in between your slick folds.

The stretch feels amazing as you sink down onto him. His fat cock fills you up and just keeps coming, inch after delicious inch. When your hips come to rest against his you just stay there for a while, reveling in it, gloriously full.

He bumps his hips, just a little, and you shudder. Even a small movement has a huge effect with a cock like his, making you feel tight and delicate above him. “Not too much for you already, am I princess?” he teases.

“Ho—just hold on,” you gasp, holding onto his shoulder and trying to get a grip so you don’t just drool in his face.

But Ubbe doesn’t want to see you get control of yourself. He wants to see you a panting mess. “Like this?” he says, grasping one of your hips in each hand, squeezing hard and pulling you against him even tighter.

“Ah!” you squeal, but maybe the motion feels better, despite the intensity. You rock against him, taking a shuddering breath in, and find that all that stretch melts into pure pleasure when he’s moving inside you.

“Is that how you like it, babygirl.” He turns his hips up to meet yours, matching your rhythm as he stares up at your face. “You’re taking it so good for me.”

His thrusts start to hit harder, and it becomes more difficult to keep up as wave after wave of pleasure rolls through in his wake.

“Fuck, yeah, this tight little thing. I love to feel you ride me.”

You try and rally, forcing your core muscles to keep moving because that’s what Ubbe wants. Even though his sweet impaling is making your legs feel weak.

“That’s it. Stay up just like that.” His hand has found the back of your neck and he’s coaxing you to sit up as straight as you can inside this car, bouncing over him. “You look amazing. Keep your back straight.”

Every demeaning little instruction just makes you wetter, your core burning and stretching around his fat hog with each pornographic phrase that comes out of his mouth.

“God, your pussy’s tight. I want to feel you cum all over my dick.”

He brings his hand between your bodies, finding your clit and batting a rapid, back-and-forth rhythm across it.

“Just stay up—keep sitting up high and pretty for me so I can watch you cum.”

It doesn’t take long, not with the string of filthy words that keep coming out of his mouth, not with his expert finger on your clit and the staccato bounce of his cock buried to the hilt inside you. You press your lips together so that you don’t wail as you come to pieces all around him.

As soon as you gasp in your next breath, Ubbe’s grabbing your hips again, taking over all the movements and not giving you even a moment’s rest after your peak. He fucks up into you, fast and hard and with more force than you thought one could accomplish from the driver’s seat of a tiny sports car. You bury your face in your shoulder to stop from yelping, hands clutching at his shoulders as he groans and drives himself on. “Fuck—yeah. Fuck—yeah.”

He’s hollowing you out. The aftershocks of your orgasm feel like little climaxes of their own, given that Ubbe is still bucking up into you for all that he’s worth. You’re panting, gasping into his ear and you can’t decide if you need him to finish right the fuck now, or if you want this to go on forever.

His whole body strains, and a long, wrecked sound pushes between his teeth and against your ear. He holds you to him tight, shuddering through wave after wave of his evidently spectacular finish. “Oh,” he finally pants, with a concluding-style tone, “fuck. Yeah.” His arms wrap you up tight as his entire body relaxes underneath you. “Wow, Y/N. Just, wow.”

You’re floating. Shimmering high above the clouds, luxurious and electrified both at once. You nuzzle into Ubbe’s neck and he shifts to make room for you there, inviting the post-coital snuggle.

Except, absolutely nothing else about your current position is comfortable. As your consciousness comes back down to earth, your knees are screaming and your ass feels way too conspicuously bare up here in the front seat. The steering wheel is likely not providing it much cover. You shift, and Ubbe nuzzles your cheek before letting you go. He holds the bottom of the condom down as you disengage and swing yourself back as gracefully as you can into the passenger seat.

Ubbe tilts his own seat high enough to be even with yours again. He rolls his face toward you, peaceful and present. As soon as you’ve got your shirt covering your chest again, he’s reaching out to take your hand.

“You’re really ok with this.” It’s not really a question, though he’s looking at you like he wants a response. “Both of us.”

Warmth blooms through your body as you continue to straighten your clothes. “I’m the one that should be surprised, that you’re cool with it.”

Ubbe smiles, a little darkly. “Ivar and I, we’ve got a way that we work things out. When we both want the same thing.” His thumb is playing idly with the side of your finger.

“I think I’m gathering that.”

You’re still settling your skirt back into its correct place when you hear the stairwell door swing open. The sound of Ivar’s crutches on the concrete confirm the nervous thrill that runs through you at the noise; you look down at your fingers entwined between Ubbe’s. Does this count as “his hands on you?” You glance up to meet Ubbe’s eyes nervously. He squeezes once and then lets go with a soft, conspiratory smile.

You smooth your skirt one last time and try not to look too suspicious as Ivar comes past Ubbe’s car on the way to his own.

His face lights up when he catches your eye through the glass. “Y/N, I was hoping you would be back soon!” He nods to his brother. “So kind of Ubbe to drive you home.”

Ubbe nods with a grunt that only sounds a little bit annoyed. There is a bit of smugness to Ivar’s smile.

“Forgot my phone,” Ivar says, holding it up after rummaging through his car. “Let’s go inside, shall we? I was just about to start a movie.”

 It’s too difficult to concentrate on the film he wants to show you. You’d rather think about how good it feels to be tucked under Ivar’s arm, snuggled up in the dark, even if it is a little odd that the guy that just fucked your brains out is now the one back in his bed sleeping alone.

Ivar’s fingers are dancing over your limbs, slowly, intermittently, as you pretend you’re paying attention to the movie. There’s nothing urgent about it; his fingertips just seem to like to explore.

He tickles at the base of your hairline, rolls his face into the crook of your neck. How are you supposed to think about anything but that? If he starts kissing you, you’re just going to turn off the movie.

“You’re lucky that you had your clothes back on,” Ivar murmurs in your ear. His fingers keep playing idly with your hair. “I came so close to catching you.”

You emit a sort of small animal noise. You know you didn’t violate any of his instructions today, but you still feel deliciously trapped.

“Did you enjoy yourself?” he asks, tone even, and a little bit amused.

“Mhm,” you answer in a small voice.

He nips at the edge of your ear. “Did he make you cum?”

Somehow the question sends heat flooding between your legs all over again. You’re not sure if it’s the right answer, but you nod ‘yes.’

Ivar’s fingers dig in for a moment. “Good.” Then they go back to drawing little circles all over your skin. “Tight space in that car,” he murmurs. “Were you riding him?”

Does Ivar like thinking about this as much as you do? Or is all of this some kind of trap. “Uh huh.”

Get up here, on my lap.” He pulls on your leg, setting you up to straddle him. “Let me look at you.”

You spread your legs for the second time tonight, bridging Ivar’s lap and grateful that the couch is soft enough under your overworked knees. Your pussy is already throbbing. Or did it never stop throbbing since Ubbe so thoroughly beat it up?

Ivar looks up at you, perfectly pleased by everything he sees. “Do you know how obvious it is when you’re aroused?”

You try to stop your face from flushing.

“I can tell so easily. Your lips part”—he reaches up, brushing his thumb along your bottom lip, peeling it down a little further—“your lashes get heavy, but your eyes sharpen.” His fingers trail down your collarbone. “Your skin somehow glows.”

He has to be making half of that up, but it sounds good. You put your hands on his shoulders.

“Don’t touch me, touch yourself.”

You bring your hands to your breasts, a little awkward. You wish he would let you admire his body too. Maybe you’ll ask him for that later.

He leans in, saying the next words a little lower. “You like the idea that we are both going to use you now, whenever and however we want.”

His words make you moan in agreement, and you scoop up your tits and nod.

“Our little thrall.” Affection and possessiveness drip in equal measure from his lips. “You wanted it as much as I did. I could tell, when I said it that day. You started to glow then, too.”

His fingers dance over your thighs, but he does not try to push up under your skirt.

“Tell me how much you love to be at our disposal.”

You purr for him, a little embarrassed but more than turned on enough to say some dirty things for him. “I’m all yours.” You rock your hips gently against him, mindful not to put too much pressure on his legs, and “I love letting you… have me, any part of me you want.”

“Whenever I want.”

“Whenever you want.”

“No matter how many times you’ve already come today.”

You definitely feel a flush after that one. Ivar’s hands trace up your waist, then catch at your wrists and push your hands down your body.

“Touch yourself for me now.”

You arch your back and sneak your hand into the waistband of the skirt, happy to ease the ache that’s been growing between your legs. You go right to your favorite spot, closing your eyes and making soft sounds of delight for him.

Ivar’s fingers dig into your thighs. The pain only heightens your excitement. “I almost feel sorry for you. Ubbe’s an animal, you know. Now that you’re ours he’s going to grab you every time he needs to nut and my God, that guy usually whacks it several times a day.” Although you may not be sure what, exactly Ivar gets out of telling you this, the thought is certainly sending your own arousal skyrocketing. “But then, no matter how he uses you, then”—he whacks your bottom swiftly, reactivating the bruises he left there last night—“you will always, always be ready for me.” He grabs at your wrist, making sure you’re still going, still working yourself as eagerly as he wants. “Even right afterwards. Won’t you.”

You hum and nod and press yourself even faster.

“Show me,” he urges, face dark and rapt as he stares up at your writhing passion. “Show me how your body can be so fucked out and still so absolutely ready for me.”

You moan and spread your legs wider, bringing yourself close to the edge but not wanting the moment to be over just yet. You try to keep your eyes open, staring at the way Ivar’s pupils have gone so wide there’s barely any blue, the way he licks his lips as he looks down the line of your body.

One of his hands finally slides underneath your skirt. His fingers climb quickly, his target clear when he runs one fingertip up and down your pussy. His growl is a deeply pleased noise. “So wet. That’s good, you’ll need it.” He presses more firmly; your swollen lips are tender from fitting all of Ubbe in and you jump. Ivar’s other hand is at the small of your back, catching you, holding you down.

Somehow the invasion of that one finger is as powerful to your system as Ubbe’s entire cock. Maybe it’s the way that Ivar’s gorgeous face is smirking up at you, or the sting still echoing through your abused backside, but all he has to do is press that one finger up and into you and suddenly your body is clamping down and spasming an unexpected release all around it.

You moan and writhe and keep working your own clit as the moment stretches on; you hadn’t planned to come so fast but you’re certainly going to make the most out of it. Judging by the praise Ivar’s murmuring up at you as you ride the waves of climax, you’re giving him exactly what he wanted.

When you’ve thoroughly exhausted your second fantastic orgasm of the day, you try and slump comfortably against your lover. “Stay up,” he orders instead. “Keep your back straight, I’m not done looking.”

And so you sit up straight above him, closing your eyes and letting only your head sag a little as you try and catch your breath coming down. Ivar makes it difficult by wiggling that finger inside you several times more, making pleased noises at the way you shudder and struggle to deal with the overstimulation.

“So gorgeous,” he whispers. Then he finally withdraws his finger, and draws you down to snuggle against his chest.

His hands spread wide and happy across your back. “Sorry I came so fast,” you feel compelled to say.

“Are you kidding? What better compliment could there be. You can’t control yourself around me.”

You both smile.

“I know you will always have more for me.” He pulls you down to settle into the couch beside him, grabbing a blanket to spread over the two of you. “I really do want to show you this movie, though.” He lifts the remote and presses rewind. “No more distractions now.”

On to Chapter 6

Taglist is open: @hanhanxx @xxdearlybeloved@littledeadrottinghood @persephone-is-here-omg @rekdreams247 @what-the-heart-desires @inforapound @creepshowzombae @tomarisela @vladsgirlfriend@youbloodymadgenius @walkxthexmoon@funmadnessandbadassvikings @trashqueenbitch @justlovelifeblog @earl-aive @supernaturalvikingwhore @equalstrashflavoredtrash @that-was-not-supposed-to-happen @ceridwenofwales @grungyblonde @pokeasleepingsmaug @hvittysmutanon @honestsycrets @wuxiesalt @thorins-queen-of-erebor @writingfromasgard @tootie-fruity @lordsexmachine @uncomfortable-writers @sadbutatleastsassy @sweatstreatz01 @ritual-unions-gotme

[dyingfad]

pls answer all of the anime asks i love knowing things abt you

hello beloved anon (whose name may or may not begin with "L"), thank you for the splendid request. I shall provide my answers under a "keep reading" out of courtesy, hopefully it works.

1. first anime you ever watched

Naruto. my brother and I encountered it one day while scrolling channels when I was about 6 or 7 I believe; I was fascinated by how different it was from the cartoons and shows I was used to.

2. first anime crush

I wouldn't really say I've ever had a crush on an anime character, but I'm a big fan of maka from soul eater.

3. favorite anime character

I thought about this a lot while making my fav characters list, and it is probably maka again.

4. least favorite anime character

This one's kinda tough, but I think I'll have to go with the main character from Alien Nine, Yuri Otani. I don't necessarily dislike her in terms of personality but I feel like she spends 70% of the show crying which made her very unpleasant to listen to. Alternatively any weirdly horny character could also go here.

5. list all anime you have ever watched

I have currently seen 211 shows so I shall refrain from making this that long. Though, if anyone is truly curious I do have each one listed and organized by my personal rating in a google doc that I can share.

6. popular anime you didn’t like

Made in Abyss. Really cool concept and decent visuals/music, but I often felt worse after watching an episode than I did before, it almost borders on torture p*rn at times.

7. anime you are currently watching

I'm gonna shorten some of these names, if any are unclear and you rly wanna know you can ask. Great: Sonny Boy Decent: Idaten Deities, Slime, Kaizoku, Higurashi Sotsu, Realist Kingdom, Aquatope, Peach Boy, Tsukimichi, Vanitas no Carte, Deatte 5 Okay: Tantei wa Mou, Seirei Gensouki, Kageki Shoujo, Night Head 2041, Otome Game X, Blue Reflection Ray, MHA season 5, Dragon Maid S, Cheat Kusushi

8. anime character you are most like

This one is also quite tough, I sometimes see a little bit of myself in characters but usually there isn't a ton of similarity. Though I did take a quiz a while ago that said I was similar to Uncle Iroh from avatar and I was very pleased with that answer.

9. favorite anime child

A tie between Renge Miyauchi from non non biyori and Naru Kotoishi from Barakamon.

10. favorite anime animal sidekick

Not technically an animal but Matsumoto from Vivy: Fluorite Eyes' Song was pretty good. Can't think of many off the top of my head honestly.

11. anime you didn’t expect to like but did

Nichijou. I actually stopped watching it the first time I tried thinking it was just generic cute stuff, but now it's unquestionably my favorite anime of all time.

12. anime that should get more attention from others

Mononoke. Super cool visuals and fairly interesting little stories.

13. funnest anime you have watched

Another difficult question, there are a few different ways I think a show can be fun (visually, plot twists, rapid action, etc.). But since it has all the things I just mentioned, I think I'll have to go with The Tatami Galaxy

14. saddest anime you have ever watched

Probably Plastic Memories, very similar to the movie I Want to Eat Your Pancreas.

15. anime you never get sick of watching

Nichijou, it's too good.

16. 10 best animes you have watched

Nichijou (10), Houseki no Kuni (9.8), Girls’ Last Tour (9.3), Yuyushiki (9.3), Wonder Egg Priority (9.2), Tower of God (9.2), The Tatami Galaxy (9.1), Kaguya-sama: Love is War (9.1), Mob Psycho 100 (9.0), Mononoke (9.0)

17. biggest anime crush

Still don't really have any so I'll just say Maka again.

18.10 worst anime you have watched

Juuni Taisen (6.5), Dragon Ball (kinda) (6.3), Kokkoku (6.3), Magical Girl Site (5.9), Mirai Nikki (5.6), Babylon (5.6), Ueno-san wa Bukiyou (5.4), From the New World (5.2), Asobi Asobase (5.2), Made in Abyss (5.0)

19. favorite anime ships

I don't really do this either sorry. I do like the relationship between the two main characters of Love, Chunibyo, and Other Delusions I suppose.

20. least favorite anime ships

Any weird pedophilic or incesty things people are freaks about.

21. anime that made you cry, when

I don't ever really full on sob because of shows, but the scene in Madoka Magica where they face off against the orchestra witch who is a character I won't spoil definitely made me tear up. Still love that scene.

22. age you started watching anime/person who introduced you to it.

As previously mentioned I think I was like 6 or 7 and I suppose you could say my brother introduced me to it.

23. unpopular character you love

I don't know if I have a good answer for this one as I'm not too sure which characters are and are not popular, but I feel like Adamant or Kongo-sensei from Houseki no Kuni is somewhat underappreciated

24. popular character you hate

Was never fond of Black Star from Soul Eater.

25. anime you would recommend to someone who hates anime

Either Cowboy Bebop or FMA Brotherhood usually seem to please people who aren't usually into anime.

26. manga you have read all the was through

There are a couple, but Shimeji Simulation is my favorite manga by far.

27. anime you plan to watch in the future

Komi-san will be getting an anime adaptation this October which I'll be watching.

28. most upsetting moment in anime, why

The scene in Made in Abyss where one character attempts to amputate the arm of another that has been stabbed by a venomous quill using only a rock and pocket knife. Like 15 straight minutes of a 12 year old screaming and crying in agony.

29. anime that deserves another season

Houseki no Kuni 100%. I've read through the manga for it and there's so much good content that could be covered.

30. one anime conclusion you would change

I would change up the ending of Carole and Tuesday quite a bit, the scope became too grandiose and ended up feeling pretty lame. Still a good show though, especially the first half.

[suchalonelysunflower]

“I know”

(Ashton Irwin X Fem!Reader || Angst/Fluff)

Summary: FINAL PART OF THE KNOW YOU SERIES. When everything feels lost, there’s nothing like the rain

Warnings: Strong Language, mentions of: alcohol, abuse, anxiety, depression, toxic relationships. Ansgty and Fluffy. Bad English (not my first language, sorry)

Word Count: 5.2 K

A/N: ITS HERE the last part of my first Ashton series 🥺 I had fun writing this, it helped me a lot. I hope you like it just as much! Reblogs are always appreciate it as well as feedback, I would love to hear your opinions 💙 You can check my other works HERE. Thank you so much 🦋

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Sierra hasn’t heard from you in almost a week. You’re not answering any of her text or attempts to FaceTime and she’s getting really worried. She knows you’re deeply hurting if you went completely MIA. 

Last time she saw you, you were running down the stairs at Ashton’s house, trying to pass the sea of people between you and the door. She remembers calling out your name, and she knows you’ve heard her, since you stopped for a second to look in her direction before turning your face away and walking out the door without saying anything. 

But she already saw the tears on your face. 

Sierra turned to her boyfriend, to confirm that he saw it too, but Luke’s confused gaze was already on her, asking the silent question: ’What the hell happened?’

Luke’s eyes followed the trail you had just walked, but Sierra’s hand was already in his, pulling him so he followed her upstairs. 

“Maybe she was just overwhelmed and needed some space” suggested Luke when they reached the top of the stairs and started walking the hall. 

“Probably, but Luke, I know her. She wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye and she looked really upset” Sierra’s voice was filled with concern“Something happened and…” 

Suddenly, they came to a stop when they heard a light sob. It was almost inaudible due to the poundering thunders that came from the sky, but it was there. Luke and Sierra hurried down to the balcony, not knowing what to expect but at the same time not expecting the sight in front of them. 

Ashton was sitting on the floor with his back pressed to the same wall that had you pressed to him just a few minutes ago, when everything just felt right.

 His hair was a mess and his ringed hand covered his eyes as he cried, his shoulders shaking with every sob that came out of his lips. For the first time in a long, long time, the boy who smiled like sunshine was falling apart like the rain. 

Sierra’s first instinct was to go over the broken man and kneel down next to him, putting her delicate hand in his shoulder. Her heart breaking as he lifted his gaze, just enough for her to see how much he’s hurting. 

“Ash?” 

“I fucked up” He said in a broken voice “Sierra, I fucked up so bad” 

That was on Saturday. Today’s Thursday and you still haven’t picked up your phone. Ignoring, not just her, but everyone. Crystal has tried to reach you countless of times, Michael has been hitting your DM’s from every social media (including in the games you played together) Calum and Luke have been spamming you with texts and even tried to lure you in with pictures of Duke and Petunia. And Ashton… well. Ashton was a complete mess, his smile was none existing since that night and, if it weren’t for the fact that they were already working on a new album, he wouldn’t even be seen. “He barely talks to anyone” Luke said to her “He’s just… numb. I haven’t seen him like this in years, he looks just like me before I met you, maybe even worse” 

Sierra tried to call you one more time before hearing the familiar voicemail tone. You were shutting down, and she was scared that the silence meant something else.

Determined, she picked up her phone one more time, but she dialed a different number “Hey” she said, as soon as the other person picked up “Y/N needs our help and I’m not going to wait any longer” 

****************************************************

You opened your eyes as the sun warmed your face. You groaned as you got up to close the curtains, ready to submerge yourself under the covers again. But the sound of your growling stomach kinda forced your way into the kitchen. 

Taking in the sight of your apartment, you let out a sad sigh. It was just as messy as you felt. Take out containers (most of them still full) and dirty dishes decorated your kitchen island, your once neat living room had scattered papers all over it, many of them being plain trash that you couldn’t care to throw properly in the bin. You saw the bottle of vodka sitting in the middle of the table and it made you nauseous. This isn’t right. After everything that has happened you thought you finally got a break, that everything was going to be fine. But life has never been easy on you. 

As you poured yourself a cup of coffee, you couldn’t help but stare at the bay window. You couldn’t help but think of him, the way he smiled and the sound of his thousand laughs. How he always cheered you up with a good morning text and how he could spend hours telling you stories about his childhood, in an attempt to distract you from reality. How he was always up for anything you needed, weather it be just listening to you or just needing his company, always making sure you were alright, and you were, with him everything was alright. Then your thoughts wandered over that night. The way he held you, the way he kissed you.. the way he rejected you. 

You didn’t realize you were crying until a tear dropped in the middle of your coffee cup. You haven’t stopped crying since that night. Feeling useless and scared, but most of all, hopeless you would ever find that sense of security and happiness you felt next to him.

It’s impossible to deny how deeply in love you were with Ashton. You tried to hide it, but you were only lying to yourself. You love him and he probably hates you, again. Once again, you felt like you’ve ruined everything. When your lips touched his you felt like you were in cloud 9, everything was coming together, but seeing his face full of regret after that… 

Maybe he was just too drunk, maybe you weren’t what he expected, maybe you should’ve stopped him, maybe he wanted to stop. It was wrong, a ‘mistake’ as he called it. But it felt so right at the moment that you didn’t want it to stop, and maybe that was selfish, but you could’ve died in that kiss and you would’ve died happy, instead of living the pain and the hurt of his disgust and rejection when he pulled away. 

He probably told everyone how you fucked up. Everyone must hate you. In one night you lost everything you ever dreamed to have, and it was your fault. You turned off your phone that night, emailed your boss the morning after, claiming to be sick, but in reality you were just too scared to face the daylight of a world where you had nothing again. Maybe your mother was right and you didn’t deserve happiness after all. 

Finishing your coffee, you tossed the mug in the filthy sink and headed to bed. That’s when you heard the knocking at your door and your breathing stopped. 

You tried to ignore it, but whoever was at the other side was persistent. Against your better judgement, and hoping it was just a neighbor, you opened the door. 

Outside the door you saw Sierra, Crystal and KayKay…oh shit. Your thoughts were running a thousand miles per hour, thinking that they were there to give you shit for what you did. 

Sierra’s eyes winded when she took a sight of you and, without wasting any second, she launched herself towards you and held you in a tight hug. 

“You weren’t answering your phone” she said “we were all so worried about you! We were so scared that you would just disappear and…” 

An overwhelming feeling came over you as the tears spilled down your cheeks. It was all too much. Sierra kept talking, but you couldn’t listen. The others made their way into the apartment, careful to not overstep your boundaries, you noticed they had some bags filled with groceries and your heart shrunked. They weren’t there to hate you, they… they came for you, because they care about you. And you were standing there, numb in the same pajamas from five days ago, with countless bags under your eyes and a messy knotted hair. You didn’t deserve this. 

“Oh, baby” Sierra cooed as she felt you breaking down in tears in her arms “We are here for you, we will always be here for you, Y/N. We love you, it’s okay”

“No, it’s not okay” you said between sobs “I fucked up. I fucked up, it’s not okay. I’m so sorry” 

You kept apologizing, it seemed like you were unable to form another sentence that wasn’t ‘I’m sorry’ but the girls were having none of it “Y/N, listen to me. You did nothing wrong. You hear me? Nothing. Stop apologizing, you don’t have to, you don’t need to. Look at me” Sierra pulled away from you and grabbed you by the shoulders, forcing you to look at her and the others “You. Did. Nothing. Wrong” 

Her stare was honest, stern and serious. You felt like breaking down again, but KayKay stepped in

“Why don’t we go talk in the living room? Crys and I will put the groceries in the kitchen, I’m assuming you didn’t go shopping this week, Y/N?” you shook your head, she nodded and gave you a sympathetic smile “It’s okay, dear. We got you covered” 

“Y/N, have you been eating enough?” Crystal asked from the kitchen, looking through your take out containers with enough food to feed an army. 

You wiped your tears “I - I don’t know. I don’t remember. I couldn’t…”

“Shh, baby. It’s okay” Sierra said, sliding her hands up and down your arms to calm you down “Don’t worry. Why don’t we go sit, yeah?” You walked into the living room together. Sierra’s eyes were immediately fixed into the bottle of vodka in the middle of the coffee table. You felt ashamed “Y/N, did you..?”

“No” you said quickly “No, I couldn’t. I tried to, yes. But the smell… it reminded me too much of her and I just… I couldn’t” 

The girls were sitting around you. They knew it was bad, but they didn’t image it to the point where you would even consider drinking as an escape. They hated to see you like that. You were the girl with the endless smile, the one who would happily put others before herself, the one that would be there at any time, at any moment. Being the life of every party, or at least in their tight group of friends, the one who has been through hell but came back as strong as ever. You didn’t even seem like yourself, you were broken. And they were determined to try to fix that. 

“Why don’t you tell us everything? It will make you feel better, I promise”

So you took a deep breath and started. You told them how close you and Ashton got during quarantine. How you, even without knowing it at the time, hoped to talk to him everyday, how he made you feel special, the way his smile brightened your day. How you could always tell if he was in a bad mood just by looking at his eyes and not finding their gleam, how he made you feel like you could trust him almost instantly and how glad you were to be friends with him. You told them about the night of the party, how he seemed so happy to see you but acted strange around you and the others, almost like his old self. You told them about the balcony, what you talked about and how you kissed. How happy you were until he said those words. 

“And I know he meant it” you said softly through your tears, like a little kid “it was a mistake, we should’ve never done it, he was right. I fucked up, I should’ve told him to stop, but I…” your voice broke and you were unable to continue, but KayKay stepped in. 

“You didn’t want to” 

You look at her, trying to find a hint of hate inside her eyes “Kay, I’m so sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Y/N. It’s fine” 

The sincerity in her voice confused you. 

“But.. but he’s your ex and you’re my friend. I could never..”

“Y/N, stop it” She said, placing her hand on your knee “It’s okay. Our relationship ended eons ago and we were never right for each other” she gave you a small smile “I love him, as a friend, just that. We were never meant to be. You want to know how I know that? Because I could never talk about him in the way that you just did, the way you described him and everything he did… you really love him do you?”

Your eyes winded. You didn’t tell them that, hell you weren’t able to tell yourself that until a few days ago. However, you couldn’t stop yourself from nodding. 

“That’s alright. We can all tell how much you love that stupid boy. And I’m okay with that, honey. Really. Our friendship is stronger than that. And besides…” her smile grew “I know he feels the same”

“What?” You asked in disbelief. 

“I talked to him a few times during lockdown, just to check on him. Everytime we talked he mentioned you in some way, weather it was a message you sent him or something funny you said or did, or even just out of nowhere you were always on his mind and, girl, the way his smile lighted up and his eyes shined… I’ve never seen him like that, not even with me, so I knew he was head over heels before he even knew it himself” 

Saying that you were confused was an understatement “But he…”

“Y/N, remember what I told you about him? He never lies about his feelings but…”

“He avoids them” you finished. 

“Sounds like someone we know…” Commented Crystal. 

“And it sounds like you should definitely talk to him!” Sierra chimed in. 

You started to protest but she cut you off. 

“No, I don’t want to hear it. Y/N, I don’t know what that voice in your head tells you, but it’s lying. We are not going to stand here and let you drown, we will not allow it. You deserve your happy ending, you deserve all the love in the world and we love you so so much. How can we get it pass your head? You are not alone, you are loved. We are your family and we will not go anywhere, no matter how much you try to push us away” she raised her thumb to wipe the tears off your face “We will not force you, though. You will talk to him when you’re ready, but you have to talk to him. He’s just as broken as you are, maybe all you need is each other” 

You nodded silently, thanking the universe for putting these amazing people in your life. But fearing the moment you will see Ashton again, not feeling completely confident for that. 

*****************************************************

Ashton, on his part, was a complete wreck.

He can’t eat, he can’t sleep, he can’t concentrate hard enough on the fact that he has a mini concert in two hours and he didn’t rehearse as much as he should’ve. He can only think of you and the sound of your heels walking away from him. 

It’s been a week since last Saturday and he’s looking at his screen, hoping selfishly that your name would pop out at any second, but knowing damn well it won’t. He tried to message you a couple times, saying how sorry he was, but he could never find the words or the courage to send it, even though he knows he should. Feeling the tears burning in the back of his eyes, he tried hard to contain them. He’s been crying all week, but  knows that now it’s not the best time to let it out. 

He looks around the small room the venue gave them to prepare themselves. He can hear Michael warming up and he spots Luke talking to Sierra in a corner of the room, she’s smiling and he looks so happy. Ashton never wanted to hit that pretty boy’s face till now. 

“You alright, mate?” Asked Calum, pulling him out of his jealous thoughts as he took a seat next to him on the couch “You look like shit” 

“I feel like shit” Ashton averted his gaze back to his phone. 

Calum nodded, choosing to ignore how harsh his comment sounded, knowing how hard this must be for his friend “Still haven’t talked to her?” Ashton looked at him shocked, he didn’t mention to Calum what was happening, only to Luke and Sierra because they caught him crying over Y/N “Luke told me, but to be honest I would’ve figured it out sooner or later” 

Ashton’s voice was soft and filled with guilt and hurt, breaking Calum’s heart as he spoke “Has she told you how incredibly stupid I am?” 

“I don’t need her to tell me that” The bassist gave his friend a small smile that he didn’t return “Besides, she’s not talking to me. She’s not talking to anyone, actually” 

“What?” 

“She’s been ignoring us, turning off her phone and shit. She didn’t talk to anyone after that night.You thought she was only ignoring you?” 

Ashton’s world fell apart right there. Not only did he pushed her away from him, but he pushed her away from the only people he knows she loves the most. He royally fucked up this time and he will never forgive himself for this. Why can’t he stop hurting her? 

“Why do you think she will talk to me, though?” Calum asked after a while. 

“You were always so close” said Ashton in a monotone voice, trying to hide the hint of jealousy he felt towards his best friend “Always with each other and always talking about things none of us understod, so I thought…”

“Woah, you think there’s something between me and Y/N? Dude, no. Never” Calum said in disbelief “She’s amazing, don’t get me wrong and very pretty but she’s also like a sister to me, she reminds me a lot of Mali. And I could never do that knowing that my best friend is in love with her” 

“What!? I..”

“Mate.. c’mon. Isn’t it useless to deny it any longer? We know you love her, it’s clear as the day. You do love her, don’t you?”

Ashton let out a sigh “Why does it matter? She will never feel the same” 

“Now, why do you say that?” 

“Because it’s the fucking truth, Cal” he said, his voice breaking at the end “I hurt her, every time. And she doesn’t deserve that, she.. she wouldn’t want me. She doesn’t want me and I made the stupid mistake of being selfish and kissing her, knowing damn well I shouldn’t have” 

“Then why did you kiss her?”

“Because!” He said a little exasperated “Because she started talking about the stars, because she looked absolutely beautiful under the night sky. Because she was kind and she smiled at me in a way that I felt like the world was ending because there’s no way something as pure and beautiful as her could be smiling at me that way after everything I put her through” he sighed “Because when I kissed her I felt like I was were I meant to be and I never wanted to let go. Because I’m a selfish asshole, because I’m in love with her. And because of that I ended up hurting her, again” 

Calum placed his hand on Ashton’s shoulder, patting it a little bit before saying “Then it’s your job to fix it, mate. She’s hurting, but I don’t think it’s because the same reason you think”

“Wh- what do you mean?”

“Talk to her” 

Ashton felt like there was more to say, but they were interrupted by the stage manager asking them to follow them because the show was about to start. 

He definitely wasn’t in the right headspace to play. Too many thoughts and emotions running through his head, to many questions without answers. Maybe when he sits on the stool and starts playing it might help him forget a little bit, but it was useless. 

 He could still feel your lips against his, and could still hear your little moan in between. He had you tattooed in his memory, the sound of your voice as his favorite melody. He loves you, but knows he shouldn’t. As he was playing he thought of you with so much passion, in every way and form, that he could almost swear he saw you at the side of the stage. But it wasn’t until Sarah gave you a hug that Ashton realized that you were actually there. 

***************************************************

You made eye contact with Ashton as he was playing one of their new songs on stage. His eyes winded when he spotted you and immediatly started to look around to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. You were there, and you were starting to regret it. Maybe this wasn’t the right place, maybe he didn’t want to see you, maybe…

But then he looked at you again, and you felt like the rest of the world faded away, in that moment it was only you and him. Asking, wondering, loving, hoping without saying a word. That was the moment that seemed to last eternally. 

You held his gaze until he had to look away, breaking the spell that caught you both. You tried to concentrate in the concert and the other boys, but your attention drifted to Ashton and, every time he could, he would look at you, almost afraid that you would disappear. 

The concert ended and Ashton was the first one offstage. He came to you rather quickly and still filled with adrenally “We need to talk. Can we talk?” He asked with pleading eyes. 

You nodded and let him guide you, people were trying to talk to him, but he ignored them all and didn’t even attempt to stop until you reached the rooftop of the venue. 

It was a very windy night, so you wrapped your arms around yourself, though you weren’t sure if you were shivering from the cold or from the nerves. Ashton closed the door and turned to look at you, properly this time. He was sweating and panting due to the energy he displayed on stage, but he couldn’t feel a thing, not now because you were right there in front of him, looking like a dream he would never want to wake up from. 

“Ash..” “Y/N” you said at the same time.

“Me first?” You said, he closed his mouth and nodded. Not sure if he wanted to hear what you got to say. You took a deep breath and started talking before you chicken out. 

“I should hate you” you spatted “I should hate you, but I can’t” Ashton’s features visibly relaxed for a bit, scared of what might come next “I can’t because I miss you so damn much. I miss talking to you everyday. I find myself waiting for your name to pop up on my screen randomly, knowing it will make me smile. I didn’t mean to get so attached to you in so little time given than last year you were practically a stranger to me, you wouldn’t talk to me or even acknowledge me for years and I let it pass. I let it pass, not only because I didn’t understand it, but because I hoped one day you would notice me. When you said those things, I should’ve hated you back then, but I couldn’t and I didn’t. When you came to apologize I said I couldn’t do it yet, I was wrong. I forgave you that day without even realizing it because I can’t hate you, Ashton.” 

You took a breath, trying to hold the tears that were threatening to escape “Then we became friends, and against my better judgement I let you in in my life and you let me in in yours because you made it so easy to trust you. I knew that one day that would’ve happen eventually, us becoming friends, and I wanted nothing more than that. What I didn’t know is that I would end up falling in love with you” 

Ashton’s eyes winded at your confession his expression going from confused to shock to sad in less than one second, it seemed like he wanted to say something, but he held it in, knowing you weren’t done. So you continued.

“I love you, Ash. I know it might seem rushed, but I never lie about my feelings, I avoid them. And that’s exactly what I was doing before that night. Ashton when you kissed me…” you closed your eyes for a second, trying to find the words “I felt home. I felt safe around your arms like I’ve never felt before. I wanted it to be endless, I didn’t want to let go but then.. you did” you looked him in the eyes “I knew there was a possibility you didn’t feel the same, I won’t hold that against you. You are free to feel whatever you want and I know that I’m not perfect in any single way and I can’t even attempt to compete for your affection. I was always scared this would be something temporary and as I told you before, I’m used to mess it all up and to people walking out of my life, every one of them giving me a reason why. So I’m here to ask you: Why?” 

Ashton looked at you, confused “Why?” He asked 

“Why did you kiss me? Why did you pull away?” You said “Ashton, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can barely function as a human being. So please, answer me so we can be at peace with each other. Maybe it won’t hurt that much this way” 

Ashton couldn’t believe it, you really didn’t know? You think he would leave? Did you want him to? 

“I kissed you because I wanted to do that for the longest time” he started, taking a step closer to you without breaking eye contact “I pulled away because I felt like it was for the best” 

“For the best?”

“I don’t deserve you, Y/N” 

Now it was your turn to be shocked. “Excuse me?”

“Y/N, since the day we met I’ve done nothing but hurt you. I refused the idea of getting to know you like everyone else did and for what? It’s still one of the biggest regrets of my life. I know I hurt you when I said those things, I still beat myself up everyday because of that. I don’t know why I did it, what was the intention besides hurting you. I didn’t know you and you made that very clear that day” You could see he was starting to get frustrated, but not with you “You said you forgive me, I’m saying I don’t deserve that” his voice was clear, but the hint of pain betrayed him “Getting to know you was and still is one of the greatest experiences of my life, you let me in when I should’ve stayed in the streets, I could never thank you enough for that. Your calls were the best part of my day, hearing your voice or seeing a text from you made me feel like the luckiest man on earth, I felt like heaven because I had you in my life and you made it worth living. Y/n, I fell for you so hard that I don’t think I’ve known love until I met you” Your breathing stopped as he said those words, your heart beating up so strongly you were afraid it might explode on your chest.

“But then I saw how you were with the others, how they were always so close and I felt like I was always ten steps behind. Y/N, I was jealous of everything we didn’t have and what we will never have and I know that sounds horrible because it was my fault to begin with. But seeing you with them made me realize just how undeserving I am of you” 

“Ashton…”

“I’m not good for you” he said sternly. His eyes were glossy with the tears he was holding, but they never left yours “I’ve known that from the start and still I selfishly hoped that one day I will be, but we both know that’s not the case. You should be with someone that doesn’t hurt you, someone that will bring smiles instead of tears, someone like Cal or Luke or Michael. I can’t… I will never be good enough for you. I knew all of that when I kissed you that night, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t know what I was doing or that I didn’t want it, because I did, I still do. But I can’t do that to you, even though it kills me, I don’t deserve you” 

“Stop saying that” you said.

“Y/N..”

“Stop saying that! It’s not true!” You yelled at him “Who are you to tell me what’s good for me or not?! Who gave you the right to decide that?” He tried to talk but you shushed him raising your hand “ You’re telling me that you love me that you can’t be with me?! Like I’m a price or a toy? They are my emotions too, Ashton! I should have a say on it, don’t you think? I can’t believe you” 

“What do you want me to say?!” He raised his voice as well “Do you know how much it hurts seeing you in pain and knowing that I was the once who caused it?”

“You’re being selfish”

“So what if I am!” He raised his arms in exasperation “I’m scared Y/N! I’m scared I will ruin everything again and break your heart!” 

“Then don’t!” You yelled, louder “don’t break my heart, Ashton” your voice was softer now “I want to be with you, I love you! Is it that hard to love me?” 

Ashton looked at you. Your eyes were filled with tears and fear, and even though you were shivering from the cold, he swore you couldn't look more beautiful. His eyes softened as he came closer to you “Loving you was the easiest thing I’ve ever done” 

In a brave move, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you, pressing your lips together once again. 

Scared at first, Ashton closed his eyes into the kiss, relaxing when he felt your hands play with the back of his head, twirling your fingers in his hair. He wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up in tight hug. Taking advantage of your little gasp to push his tongue into your mouth, making himself home. 

You melted into the kiss once again, swearing you could see every color and every star, you felt infinite as you pressed against him. Taking everything you can form each other, memorizing the way you tasted and how good you felt. You threw away every meaningless fear you had, now it wasn’t the time to overthink. You loved him, and he loved you, that was all that mattered at this moment. 

You hummed into the kiss when you felt a drop of water hit your cheek. At first you thought it was one of yours or Ashton’s tears, but when one drop became a thousand you realized that it was actually raining. 

Ashton broke the kiss but rested his forehead against yours. He held a smile so wide that made you feel like the luckiest person on earth just for being a witness of that. 

“This is so cliché” he laughed. 

You giggled “I always liked the rain. It means new beginnings, a fresh start. It helps you grow as you go. It reminds me of a home I never had until I fell right into your arms” 

“Well” Ashton said, kissing your forehead “Let this be the statement of our new beginning, because I am completely in love with you, Y/N. I know I am selfish for saying that, knowing that I will never fully deserve you. But I can’t help it, love. And I will do everything in my power to prove it to you, every single day of my life. Y/N, you make me want to be a better man. I want to know you for the rest of my life” 

You kissed him one more time, happiness taking over you as your heart fluttered with his words, smiling into the kiss “I love you” 

The rain kept falling, sealing your promise into solid ground. And as you walked back in hand in hand, you thought that, finally, your life came together. Finally allowing you to be completely and overwhelmingly happy. 

[t-a-c]

Opinions on video games I played in the long, long decade of 2020

Fire Emblem Three Houses – Cindered Shadows: wow this came out in 2020 huh. The side story was a great campaign, and I should really give the game another run to try using the characters in the main game.

Warframe – Scarlet Spear: this event was honestly pretty tedious and the all-or-nothing score bonuses felt really punishing. And to think this was still the better way of getting Arcane upgrades

XCOM: Chimera Squad: oh wow this also came out in 2020. This feels like they didn’t want to commit to a full XCOM 3 yet but wanted to make something so they could try experimenting with new gameplay elements and concepts. If that’s what they intended, I really like that approach.

Megaman Zero/ZX Collection: A really solid compilation of some mostly solid GBA/DS games, with quite a few options and enhancements to make the early-series jank a bit more tolerable. The added bonuses like the art gallery and the challenge mode are very nice extras as well.

Streets of Rage 4: I was never expecting this game to happen. I was less expecting this game to come out and actually be not just good, but incredible. Now I’m gonna wonder what other old Sega series gets resurrected from the void...

Blaster Master Zero: A nice throwback/re-imagining of the NES original that does a lot to forge its own identity. Still need to try out the sequel, I’ve heard good (and weird) things about it.

Mighty Gunvolt Burst: the existence of this game single-handedly justifies and redeems the existence of Mighty No. 9.

Rise of Industry: A nice fun little resource management/logistics game. Gives me slight Transport Tycoon vibes.

Half-Life 2 – Episode 1 + 2: yes it took me almost 15 years to get around to finishing HL2 and playing the Episodes and that’s only because if I didn’t raocow was going to do it first. Overall pretty good, but I think I can go without a Strider fight sequence ever again

Half-Life Source: yeah I can see why people say this is a janky port

Black Mesa: For a fanmade project, this is absolutely incredible. The sheer number of ways that it improves and iterates on the original is astounding, and the new take on Xen is utterly mindblowing to experience

Slay the Spire: A nice fun diversion, especially on the days where I’m too worn out to focus on anything more mentally involved.

Final Fantasy XIV – 5.2 through 5.4: honestly if 5.3 had been the end of the storyline like they originally set out to do, I would have been fine with that, it was an excellent conclusion. However, with what 5.4 is setting up, I am eager to see what 6.x might hold (and hoping that it doesn’t suffer for Yoshida being involved elsewhere with directing XVI)

Phantasy Star Online 2 (NA Version): on launch? Worst experience I’ve had trying to install and run a game. Once Ep4 and the Steam release came out? Good. Once Ep5 came out? Great. Once Ep6 Pt1 came out? Excellent. I can nitpick some of the item name translations to hell and back, but the story dialogue and voice acting is very good.

Command & Conquer Remastered: I was expecting over and over for EA to find a way to screw this up. Somehow they didn’t, although I imagine that Petroglyph, Lemon Sky, and the community doing most of the work kept things on track. A very good remaster of a good RTS duology.

Tropico 6: I finally got around to grabbing this off my wishlist. It’s got a lot of improvements and additions over what was there in 5, and the series flavor is still present and accounted for, but there’s still a lot of stuff from 3/4 that I miss.

Touhou Spell Bubble: Picked this up after watching it played by HoloEN, and I’m enjoying it a lot even though I haven’t really touched rhythm games in a long time. Really good music selection, although it has the ‘early Windows era bias’ a lot of derivative works have.

[manggojooz]

Foolish Love, Fake Love (Part 3)

pairing: idol!Jungkook x bodyguard!reader

word count: ~1,800

genre: idol!au; angst; romance; drama; enemies to lovers sort of thing

warnings: none

previous part: Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2

summary: If all you can give me is a fake love, then I will be the fool to pretend that it is all true.

comments: sorry if the chapter is a bit short haha but im trying to get myself back into writing in baby steps =) pls comment or reblog if you liked this <3 

How do you explain love? Is it a feeling? Is it an agreement? Is it an experience? 

---

The day felt like months.  

You were using Yuri’s phone to surf the net, her nose poking into the side of your chin as she leaned against your shoulder, trying to read the tiny words on her phone too.  

“When are you getting your phone back?”, Yuri asked soullessly.  

“Whenever the reporters stop calling, I hope...”, you answered. As though on cue, Sejoon bursts into the waiting room, causing Yuri to knock her forehead into your cheekbone when she abruptly shot up straight.  

Sejoon dragged his feet along as he approached your side and held out a handphone for you. “Use this phone in the meantime, I've saved a few contacts in it for you. And Director Lee wants to see you for a while”, he said sheepishly.  

You handed Yuri’s phone back to her and Sejoon caught a glimpse of the article you had been reading.  

---

As you made your way to the higher floors of the BH building, the lift ride was silent and awkward. Half a day has since passed after Rapid released the exclusive article confirming that Jungkook was dating you. Sejoon suddenly blurted, “I suggest you don’t read any of the articles...”  

You looked at him silently.  

“You know the saying right... a pen is mightier than a sword... in this case, a keyboard is definitely mightier than a gun”, his tone was serious yet soothing at the same time.  

“I know... I won’t take the articles or the comments too seriously”, you said almost nonchalantly.  

He shook his head slightly, “it’s easier said than done, Y/N. It’s better if you just don’t read them at all”, he stared ahead as he nagged gently at you.  

Somehow you felt a tinge of warmth from the situation, which softened the otherwise difficult and draining day.  

---

“Since it doesn’t make sense for you to be a bodyguard anymore, we just said you are a staff member. But let’s be clear, you are not qualified to do any other job so your job will still be the same. In fact, now you have more to guard...”, Director Lee was rambling on more than she usually would.

You only nodded in response. For some reason, since the earlier part of the day you have felt like you no longer own a voice. It is as if you had given your tongue to the sea witch but in return you got a fake prince.  

“We have put all the policies in place to ensure employee confidentiality on this situation. But since you are a lead character in all of this, we believe it calls for a little more documentation...”, she fumbled around, tossing files around her desk. It was the first time her room seemed a little messier than it usually would be.  

Her assistant who had been standing next to her this whole time, meekly pointed towards a black thin folder resting under her elbow. “Alright, I got it”, she snapped. 

She opens the folder and tosses a document in front of you. “Sign it”, she instructs, and her assistant almost immediately holds out a pen to you.  

You stare at them with a puzzled expression and Sejoon, who had been standing in the far corner of the room, peers over in concern.  

“I’ll read through it first...”, you were hardly even batting an eyelash at the whole situation now. After all the entire day has been incredulous on top of more incredulity. 

Director Lee scoffs and was about to say something when Sejoon swoops in, grabs the document as well as your arm, hurrying to pacify the executive, “I will explain it all to her quickly and will get it signed by the end of today, Director Lee.”  

---

“Clause 4.3, basically it’s just saying that this arrangement will be for an initial three months from today, and the management can decide whether to shorten or lengthen this term. Clause 4.4 says that you shall not speak about this arrangement with anyone outside the company...”, Sejoon was rattling all the terms written in the contract.  

“... Clause 5.2...”, he paused and cleared his throat while scratching his forehead, looking rather uneasy, “... Clause 5.2 says that you cannot fall in love with Jungkook... ummm... I can’t read the rest of it to you, it’s too cringe for me... anyway point is that you should just stay professional ok?”, Sejoon gave you those little sheepish glances he was always so good at.  

“What if I break any of these terms?”, you asked outrightly with folded arms, sitting across from Sejoon in the tiny pantry reserved for staff members.  

“Ummm... let’s see”, he flips to one of the pages at the back, “here... you gotta return all the advance payment made to your company and its employees... meaning the payments made to Ssam Chun and Yuri too... and there’s a penalty sum”, Sejoon pauses again. “But Y/N, I hope you know this isn’t what should be of concern right? If you get into the bad books of the management, it’s not going to be just paying back all these monies.”  

Sejoon was right, the power and influence that a relatively large company like BH would have, cannot be summarised in just monetary terms.  

“I’ll think about it...”, it all made you more reluctant to sign off on that stupid contract.

“Y/N, there isn’t much of an option here...”, Sejoon said but he still handed the agreement to you, knowing you probably needed some time to come to terms with it.  

---

You clenched the contract tightly in one hand and walked down the long corridor. This feeling was indescribable, you were confused, you were alone, you were afraid  – it just felt so wrong and your entire body felt the weight of it. 

You were trudging along towards the lift lobby when you think you heard Jungkook’s voice coming from a room further down. You couldn’t hear what he was saying but as you approached the room you heard a woman’s voice too.  

“No Jungkook, it’s ok... I have no right to meddle in your private life like that”, she said coyly and you recognise that it is Yeonjoo’s voice. She had a distinct tonality when she spoke, and people often praised her for it – it was somehow cute and cool at the same time but not unnatural sounding.

“What do you mean, Noona?”, Jungkook sounded taken aback.  

“I mean... if you are really dating her, I should be.. no, I am happy for you... I really shouldn’t have come down here today... but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened the other night and I hope nothing has changed between us...”, her voice was getting softer and you had to strain your ears to hear what she was saying.  

You rolled your eyes, “she’s good”, you thought to yourself. This was a classic example of managing her fish farm and Jungkook was one dumb fish trapped inside. It's not that he can’t leave, he willingly does not leave, and she sure seemed bent on making sure it stays this way.  

“No, Noona... you have no idea how grateful I am that you came down. They took my phone away since this morning and I've been stuck here wondering how I am going to explain all this to you... She’s really our new bodyguard, I mean... staff member... I didn’t even know her name before today! So how can it be possible that I am dating her?”, Jungkook was exasperated.  

To think about it, half the people you have guarded before probably do not remember your name. Yet now he remembers you, even though it is for one of the worst reasons ever.  

Just when Yeonjoo was going on about Jungkook not having to explain himself to her, someone taps your shoulder, giving you quite the shock and you lunged backwards almost hitting him in the process.  

“Oh it’s you! You gave me a shock!”, Kijin exclaimed.  

“Look who’s talking”, you mumbled snidely, glaring at the man who landed you in this situation in the first place.  

“Oppa? Is someone outside?”, Yeonjoo called out.  

Kijin gestured for you to enter the room, as though saying ‘would you rather go in yourself or have me drag you inside?’

The moment you entered, Jungkook visibly tensed up.  

“Were you eavesdropping on us?”, his frown was so deep that you started getting a little nervous.  

“I was just walking past, and I heard your voice so I wanted to see if it’s a good time to talk because there’s something-”, you were making an attempt to explain yourself.  

“There’s nothing to talk about between us...”, he cut you off promptly and continued frowning, his tone was very hostile.  

“Jungkook, there’s no need to talk to her like that...”, Yeonjoo gently chided him, “she probably isn’t happy about landing in this situation either, just like how you are feeling.”  

Jungkook lets out a light chuckle, “Apparently her handphone wallpaper is a photo of me... so I really don’t think she’s feeling what I’m feeling right now”, he said rather dejectedly. This somehow piqued Yeonjoo’s attention.  

“So you are a fan?”, her eyes were already pretty huge but it got even larger, “wow... and will you still be following Jungkook around for his schedule after all the... news?”  

“Seems like it... it’s still my job to do it...”, you answered earnestly, regretting coming towards the room at all.  

“You must really love your job”, Jungkook suddenly turned sarcastic and you felt a twitch in your chest.  

“I do...”, you tried to keep up that professional posture but was sure that your insides were tangling up slowly.  

“Even if your job is making a fool of you like this?”, this was the longest Jungkook had ever looked at you in your eyes.  

“I’d rather be a fool”, you answered.  

“As opposed to a ---?”, he asked, still with the same annoyance he had when you had entered the room.

“As opposed to a liar...”, you thought to yourself.

You decided to face the situation and his concerns head on. "Yes, I like you as a fan, but it won’t become anything else just because of this situation.”, you said as you put down the contract on the desk before them, flipping to Clause 5.2.  

“Love is not an arrangement, and it can never come from a contract. This...”, you tapped the agreement slightly with your fingertip, “this is not love. And I'm not foolish enough to believe it is. So, you really need not be worried about it either. If nothing else, just know that... as a fan, I want you to be happy at the end of the day.”  

“And I will be... if you can keep that promise...”, Jungkook replied after glancing at the page laid opened before his eyes. To say his words didn’t hurt you would be a lie, but there was also a sense of relief that at least he killed any hopes before they could be groomed. 

Without answering him, you picked up a random pen from the notepad holder in the middle of the table and signed your name at the end of the document. 

---  

Love is a promise.  

And you promised, never to love him.  

[ineffablecolors]

The Wife [1/?]

The Wife || Ch 1 ~ 5.2 k || FF.NET&AO3 Summary: No one knows all that Emma has been through and certainly no one knows all that Killian has been through and being husband and wife doesn’t make them any less unknown to each other. And really, how can you help someone heal when you don’t even know how hurt they are? A/N: This story was born from this little idea. As you can tell from the summary, it has evolved a lot since then. I’m really excited about this and I want you to have a great experience with me so a couple of things: 1) this is a period piece of sorts in style but I want to be free to make my own rules so don’t expect any historical accuracy. 2) this is very much a CS story and will only become more so but it also has a dose of Knight Rook in it. The Killian Jones here is a nice mix of Hook and Wish!Hook so if that’s your thing - enjoy, if not - no hard feelings. 3) Neal, Regina and Gothel will be the assholes they are. 4) age difference between CS is at about 13 years in case that’s a deal breaker for anyone. This story will require some trigger warnings later on though nothing graphic - revealing them will be a bit spoilery but if you wish to be warned in advance, drop me a message and I’ll give you the gist of anything triggery coming. 5) Enjoy! :*

“This is unacceptable!”

Emma’s shoulders move up and down lightly – lace rustling for a second and then settling back into the serene stillness with which she entered and intends to depart the Nolan residence – not a very lady-like gesture but she supposes – now that she is safely engaged – she needn’t worry quite so much about her every small movement and expression.

“I shall go and talk to her first thing tomorrow.”

She looks up into Mary Margaret Nolan’s fierce eyes – narrowed and flashing like the tips of cocked arrows under her furrowed dark brows. Mary Margaret who never takes anything lying down. Mary Margaret who is the picture of grace and good breeding but the paint for said picture is all potent determination.

Emma slowly cocks her head to the side and marvels at the glow of Mary Margaret. It is not simply the glow of a woman early in her much wanted pregnancy, it is that of a woman who, despite everything she has had to face, seems miraculously, almost magically, protected from disaster. They have both had their fair share of troubles and tribulations but Mary has come out rightfully victorious every time.

Emma, on the other hand, feels like each storm has chipped away a little more of her – dousing her fire bit by painful bit until there is something embarrassingly grey and listless about her now.

“There is no need.”

“Emma—“

“You know what she will say. She knows best. She always knows best.”

“Regina may know a lot, it does not signify that she knows best.”

“Well, then let us hope that she knows well enough.”

She can literally see the anguish on Mary’s face. It pains her. It is not the situation that is causing her friend so much heartache but Emma’s acceptance of it. But while anguish sits prettily on a face as exquisite as Mrs Nolan’s, it is not made to sit there long.

“I believe my cook might know his, I will—“

“Mary, no.”

“But—“

“No. Please. I will not spy on my husband.”

“He is not your husband yet,” Mary declares almost haughtily with that same stubbornness that drew Emma to her years ago.

“He will be.”

Her friend huffs and glares and Emma’s lips tick up at having so quickly demolished Mary’s composure.

“Besides, it is not spying, it is investigating.”

The smile drops and Emma gives her a droll look. Mary waves her hands around as if she is already collecting gossip from the streets and houses of Storybrooke.

“Just because all the gossip is bad doesn’t mean much. I mean—“ she falters. “It is monstrous of Regina to put you in that position no matter— but, well, who knows how much of it is true.”

“Oh, I’m sure some isn’t and plenty is,” Emma waves her own hand in a dismissive gesture. “I will soon find out for myself and until then I do not intend to care for it. Frankly, I don’t intend to care much afterwards either.”

Mary knows her well enough to recognize the truth in her statement. She is not deterred in the least.

“I should put his name to Tink.”

Emma’s eyes widen and narrow in quick succession despite herself. Now, she does not know this Captain Killian Jones that she is to marry in a week. She certainly does not care for him. And yet, even she cannot deny the pinprick of irritation at the association of her future husband with Madame Superior and her “fairies”. Even though it is probably a justified one.

“Oh, I did not mean…” Mary’s porcelain skin is only more becoming with a light rose tinge to it. “I just meant as a source of information. You know her… her girls know all.”

“And I will tell you again that I do not wish you to spend time and effort and money acquiring information that I will soon be privy to myself.”

“But don’t you wish to be prepared, Emma?”

“I am. Life has made sure of it.”

There is little Killian Jones can do that will shock Emma.

“I must go, Mary.”

“Of course. But know that I still very much intend to speak to your grandmother tomorrow.”

“Please don’t. It will only sour her mood and make matters worse.”

Emma admires the way Mary Margaret can appear shocked each time she encounters Regina Mill’s wide known animosity for her.

*****

“This is all that evil old viper’s doing.”

“Well, she couldn’t have rightly forced him into it.”

“Like hell she couldn’t.”

Ruby observes her grandmother’s thunderous profile for a few seconds before she returns her attention to the stove, shaking her head. There is probably a person strong headed enough to change Mrs Lucas’s opinion after it has been formed. Ruby just doesn’t know them.

“Would it be quite so bad?” she wonders to herself.

Years she has worked the kitchen beside the old woman, years she has tried to sneak boys and girls past her and sometimes she still forgets how scarily good her hearing is. Marvelous for gossip, horrible for muttering to yourself.

Or sneaking around for that matter.

“Of course it would be! Christ, girl! You were not so young as to have forgotten the last one.”

“Who says she has to be like the last one?”

“She hasn’t even met him – what ya think she is marrying him for?”

“Perhaps—“

“It don’t matter what she is like anyway. The missus left a mark deep enough to last him for the next three, if he wished to have them. Which he doesn’t. Heaven knows why he decided to buckle under Regina Mills now.”

“She is quite pretty. A bit wan and cold but—”

“I’ve seen her pretty. Girl looks like she will be blown off by the first gust of autumn. Infirm. Fragile. Mark my words, Ruby, this Miss Emma is exactly the kind of wife that man doesn’t need. And, God help us, everyone will know it at the first sign of trouble.”

*****

Emma rubs her finger over the blue stone, marveling at the transparent smudges left behind. She lays the earring beside its twin in her modest jewelry box.

“You can leave these with Zelena.”

She turns around to see her grandmother enter her room without ceremony. Privacy is not a thing Emma is used to – especially not in the last ten years, but it doesn’t stop the tingle of annoyance that travels down to her fingertips at the intrusion.

“The jewels. A married woman should expect to receive those from her husband, not her overindulgent grandmother.”

Emma swallows the scoff that wants to bubble out and wills away any sentimental attachment she might have felt for the jewels in the box. She was told some were her mother’s but she feels no compulsion to fight Regina over the belongings of a woman she never knew.

“Of course,” she slams the lid of the wooden box and ignores the displeased look Regina sends her way. “Anything else you wish me to leave behind?”

“Why, I expect you to leave all.”

She whirls around – eyes wide and disbelieving despite her desire to remain cool and collected in her grandmother’s presence. The cruel twist to Regina’s mouth – all wrinkles and spite, shows that her slip has been noticed and greatly appreciated. Emma curses in her mind and curls her hands into fists before she opens her mouth.

“All? You expect me to depart with nothing but the clothes on my back?”

“Your wedding gown should be arriving any day now so you won’t be needing those either.”

“My skirts will be a tad short for Zelena,” Emma spits out, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice.

“And a fair bit tight at the bosom but I’m sure she will alter them accordingly.”

She would laugh, if she wasn’t so keenly aware of the humiliation of it all. Regina settles herself on the lone chair in the room with the regality that Emma has hated as long as she can remember.

“I suppose I should thank you for providing me with what comforts you did, while you saw fit,” Emma says sarcastically as she looks around the small and bare room, trying to regain the higher ground.

“You should,” Regina replies as if scorn and sarcasm were none-existent unless they were coming from her own painted lips. “And you should thank me for arranging it so that you will continue on with a roof over your head now that I am unable to carry the burden of you any longer.”

Emma looks at the grey clouds gathering outside her window and rubs her hands over her arms. To the world beyond that pane of glass her marriage to Captain Killian Jones is mostly a simple case of “widower takes on a young bride”.

At 27, Emma isn’t all that young but she is sufficient for Captain Jones’s 40 years of age. His inferior birth is compensated for by his adequate fortune, his disability by his label of a war hero, his cold manner and abstinence from society by the liberties he allowed his late wife. It has all been presented to Emma very matter-of-factly and, on the whole, the deal is perceived in his favour rather than hers. Some – like Mary Margaret – might even frown and shake their heads at Regina’s sacrificing her to a little known man of reported ill-temper and little value and virtue.

Emma expects to find no peace or comfort in her new home and yet, she feels genuine pity for the way the world has dissected Killian Jones and laid him on the cold slab even for his own future wife to observe and judge, if she so pleases. She doesn’t have much to thank Regina for but how little the world truly knows about her is genuinely among the few favours her grandmother has granted her.

Of course, it has been a favour to Regina herself but Emma is all too willing to benefit as well. Society – and the man himself – doesn’t know what Killian Jones is buying. Emma does. She looks Regina in the eye and marvels at how alive the old woman’s face is – with a vicious energy to trample and ascend but with an energy none the less. She wonders how washed out her own complexion must look in comparison.

“Thank you,” she says without scorn or sarcasm.

Regina’s lips twitch again.

“Of course I cannot do everything for you,” she says smoothly and Emma stiffens.

Stripping her of all her worldly possessions was just a precursor – the groundwork for the true blow Regina has come to deliver, and, even though she can conceive of little she fears anymore, Emma feels her heart double its efforts anxiously.

“I wanted you to know that Captain Jones is not aware of certain… limitations of yours.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I imagine it would make a fine topic for your wedding night.”

“Regina, no. You cannot— He must know before. He—“

“He knows enough,” her grandmother grits out. “He knows what will immediately concern him and you.”

“Knows…,” Emma shakes her head helplessly. “I cannot just—“

“You can do as you please after you have said your vows.”

“You should have told him.”

“But of course! Because you are not a hard enough sell as it is.”

Emma’s mouth shuts audibly.

“He barely sees his own daughter,” Regina says dismissively as she gets to her feet. “You might have no trouble at all.”

*****

“Granny is happy,” Alice whispers sarcastically in her ear before she links her arm through Ruby’s and tugs her away from the dirty plates.

Another servant might have a token protest for her. Ruby does not. Ruby has missed the nervous energy and youthful glow of Alice Jones.

“When isn’t she? My grandmother, the resident termagant.”

She has missed her laugh as well – loud and addictive as always.

“I know I should be all questions and confusion but I’m just too happy to be back,” Alice almost yells out the last part and lets go of Ruby to turn in a circle with her arms spread wide.

Ruby shakes her head fondly. She is glad as well, though she knows it cannot last, knows that – much as she loves her father – it won’t be long before Alice starts feeling homesick and heartsick. She steers them back toward the abandoned picnic.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say he is getting married just to have you back for a bit.”

Alice’s smile turns a bit wistful and she shrugs, smoothing her hopelessly wrinkled skirts.

“I was here just this spring.”

“That was more than three months ago!”

“Well, I’m certain it would’ve cost papa less to take us all for a vacation in Europe than to marry some fabulous lady.”

“She is not all that. Her grandmother was – still likes to think she is, I hear – but this Miss Emma isn’t overly fond of society apparently. Granny says all the worse, she probably thinks herself too good for it but…”

“You think not?” the tentative hope in Alice’s voice mirrors the one in her own heart.

“I hope not.”

Alice drops on the picnic blanket and looks up for the source of the bird song above, her brows furrowed in thought. Ruby has learnt that one can never tell if she is pondering the mysteries of existence or daydreaming about the pudding this evening.

“Why wouldn’t he find someone who really—“

Ruby feels her heart crumble along with Alice’s face but tries to plaster a smile on her own.

“He has you.”

“No, he doesn’t,” the girl sighs dejectedly and Ruby hopelessly searches for a distraction, a way to—

“Miss Lucas, call for doctor Hopper, please!”

Both girls whirl around to see Killian Jones coming toward them with quick strides, the line between his brows as deep as when he pours over his papers. His hat and cravat are absent and the sun glints off the silver streaks in his hair and unkempt beard. They have to talk him into shaving that for the wedding.

“What’s the matter?” Ruby exclaims as Alice scrambles to her feet.

“My daughter,” Jones gestures at the girl in question with a concerned expression. “She has been here a full day now and has yet to get on the new horse I have procured for her.”

Ruby huffs and plants her hands on her hips while Alice unashamedly rolls her eyes at her father.

“I thought we were waiting for the lady of the house.”

Killian drops his faux concern and frowns with true feeling before levelling his girl with a firm look.

“You are the lady of the house and shall wait on no one.”

Alice’s blush is fierce and the way she fiddles with her long arms more befitting an eight-year-old than a young woman of nineteen. Ruby angles her head away so her grin isn’t terribly obvious.

“Come,” Killian extends his right hand to his daughter and she takes it eagerly. “Let us see if I have finally managed to find a beast that you can’t drive to exhaustion in an afternoon.”

*****

“Hmm, it’s quite nice.”

Emma smiles a little at her friend’s reluctant tone. The dress is beautiful, if a bit too ostentatious for Emma’s taste. Not that Emma has ever been given the chance to really find out what her own taste is like. She supposes she never will now. But if garments like this are what she has to content herself with, Emma thinks she hardly has a right to complain.

“So… would you like to hear it?”

“Hear what?” she looks at Mary over her shoulder as she carefully lays her wedding dress aside.

It’s not the dress that has made an impression on Emma but rather the note that accompanied it. She was expecting the former but the latter was a surprise. The fact that it made her smile even more so.

But it doesn’t feel quite right to show that to Mary Margaret. She knows most women – especially married women, especially when it concerns their husbands – have few secrets from their closest confidants but Emma has always been good at keeping secrets. Even from Mrs Nolan.

“What Tink had to say.”

“Mary, you didn’t! I explicitly told you—“

“I didn’t ask her about that. Well, I mean…”

Emma sighs, any impulse to confide in her friend now gone.

“Go on then,” she says tiredly as she sits on the edge of her bed across from Mary.

“Well… Tink said the late Mrs Jones used to come around to Madame Superior’s every month or so…”

Emma sighs again and looks at the white lace that awaits her. There is only one reason wives go to Madame Superior’s – to look for their husbands. What is more, they only do so when things are so bad that they do not care who knows they are there looking for their husbands.

“Yet she assured me she has never seen Captain Jones there.”

“What?”

“I know. I didn’t understand it either but Tink was adamant. She asked around. No one has.”

Why on earth would the wife be there, if the husband was not?

“Was she…” Emma purses her lips, unwilling to finish her thought in Mary Margaret’s presence.

“Hmmm? Oh!” her friend’s eyes widen almost comically. “Oh, no, no! Nothing like that. It seemed exactly like any other case – desperate wife looking for her wayward husband but… apparently she didn’t have any luck there.”

Emma frowns deeply, her thoughts starting to run away from her before she waves them off like pesky flies. This is exactly what she wished to avoid.

“Well, I hate to say it but with this information – I hardly think you got your money’s worth, Mary.”

“Tink wanted to avoid my thinking exactly that,” she replies with a glimmer in her eye that immediately makes Emma suspicious. “So she told me something else. Nothing terribly secret I’m sure just… ancient history as they say. That few people seem to know or remember today.”

Emma waits for a beat or two before she realizes that Mary desires to be prompted into revealing the intelligence she has bought. Frankly, she does not care for it, but the last thing she wants is to disappoint her friend.

“Go on then.”

“Well, it appears that Mrs Jones wasn’t supposed to be Mrs Jones at all.”

Emma frowns and feels herself lean slightly forward despite her best intensions. The silence stretches again.

“Are the dramatic pauses truly necessary?”

Mary has the decency to blush.

“Yes, I— Alright, sorry. Apparently, Captain Jones – coming back from the war a hero and all, got engaged to some famous beauty, a Milah something or other. But then, less than a month before the wedding, he called off the whole thing. And not a week later he was married to this Eloise Gardner. And— and a telling number of months later came the baby.”

“Oh,” Emma looks down at her hands in her lap. She hears Mary stand up and come to sit beside her but she doesn’t lift her eyes until her friend’s own delicate hands move to clasp her cold ones.

“Emma, don’t you see? This is wonderful!”

“Wonderful?”

“Of course. When we tell Regina, she will have no choice but to call off—“

“No.”

“I— I beg your pardon?”

“We’re not telling my grandmother or anyone else. She probably knows anyway. As you just said, this does not sound like a secret. Just gossip too old to matter.”

And like Killian Jones at least attempted to fix the mess he’d made.

“Too old to ma— Emma, this sounds like he was engaged to one woman and—“

“Yes, I can do the calculations, Mary.”

“And you do not care?”

“It does not matter, if I care or not.”

“How can—“

“Please, I— I need to prepare for tomorrow.”

Mary sits frozen for a long moment until Emma’s hard look seems to prompt her into action. She is at the door already before she looks back once more.

“When everyone is trying to do wrong by you, Emma, there is no need for you to join them.”

She sits for a few moments, staring at the door long after it has closed behind Mary Margaret’s back. Then her eyes flit over the white lace again and land on the note that had come with it. She leans to the side and reaches over, her fingers snagging the paper’s edge.

Dear Miss Emma,

Your grandmother has provided your measurements and insisted that you need not be consulted about the dress that you shall be married in. It seems a queer custom to me but I should not meddle in your affairs, nor fault you if you have no particular interest in either dress or ceremony.

Unfortunately, I am rather ignorant of the current fashions for young ladies and was thus forced to seek help. I believe my daughter’s tastes often run towards the unusual and somewhat extravagant but I did emphatically ask her to be as sensible as possible.

I sincerely hope the garment chosen is to your satisfaction. But were it not, please, do not hesitate to return it – I have been assured that the seamstress has many more to offer.

Sincerely,

Killian Jones

She taps her finger over the name. By tomorrow night she will be Emma Jones. The fact has brought her neither joy, nor pain since Regina presented it to her. It has hardly ignited her curiosity, even after Mary Margaret’s insistence on scrutinizing Captain Jones. This was always one of the possible outcomes for her – frankly, one of the better ones. She has been prepared.

But it is only now, with this note in her hand, that she feels almost calm.

It appears Killian Jones is simply human after all. She will do well to remember that most humans have shown her little kindness but she still feels better now that her future husband is not just some abstract and malignant force for her to face blindly.

*****

“I do not have any.”

Ruby frowns at the woman before her. She looks so out of place – her white dress and pale face making her appear like a snowflake among the sunshine and purple flowers around them.

“I beg your pardon, ma’am. Should we expect your luggage after the ceremony?”

“No, I— I’m not bringing anything. I have nothing to bring.”

Ruby opens her mouth to rephrase her question yet again but then she notes the way Miss Emma draws a carefully measured breath and tries to keep her back straight, her green eyes everywhere but on Ruby, her posture stiff, her arms wrapped tightly around her torso.

She is embarrassed.

“That’s... I see. Do you need anything at present, ma’am?”

The bride shakes her head but still refuses to look at her and Ruby can’t help but take the opportunity to make her escape.

And now what?

She has to tell someone or the lady of the house will be coming down to breakfast tomorrow in her wedding dress like some crazy, gothic horror bride. Granny is out of the question – she already hates her, learning that the woman’s dowry is nothing but the good weather they’ve been blessed with will certainly only make matters worse. The other servants will be of no help. The grandmother is probably well aware of the situation, if she is not its very maker.

It’s either Killian or Alice. And fate has obviously decided that it shall be both when she spots them as soon as she walks through the French doors.

“Your bride must be a real treasure, Captain Jones, seeing as she comes with none,” Ruby starts brusquely and less kindly than she intended.

Killian blinks at her in confusion.

“I beg your pardon?”

“The mistress has come with literally nothing but the dress on her back.”

“I do not understand,” Killian huffs and pulls on the cuffs of his left sleeve, fidgeting the way he has been every time someone mentioned his future wife. “What is the issue? I assured Regina she will be provided with all that she needs.”

“Splendid,” Ruby claps her hands together. “Shall I take her shopping right now or in two hours after you are quite finished with the ceremony?”

“I am sure tomorrow will be agreeable, Ruby.”

“And should I take her shopping in her wedding dress?”

Killian blinks at her a couple of times before he seems to grasp the full extent of the situation. Something dark and thunderous passes over his face and Ruby almost regrets telling him. The woman seemed embarrassed enough as it was, Ruby did not wish to get her into even more trouble.

But the cloud passes as quickly as it appeared and now Killian’s expression is one she is much more familiar with – cool and businesslike.

“I can give her a few things,” Alice chimes in before her father can open his mouth.

“Sweetheart—“

“No, truly, it’s no bother. The measurements for the wedding dress were similar enough. Similar enough for a nightgown and a dress to wear for a day.”

Ruby is already rocking on her heels, ready to go, as Killian mulls the suggestion over. His sigh is resignation and fondness all at once.

“Very well. Put some sleeping garments and a couple of Alice’s dresses in her room and take her to the shops first thing tomorrow, understood?”

*****

She is going to tell him before they get to that alter. That’s the single thought that Emma repeated to herself like a mantra on the ride to her future home. And now that they are here her determination is cold and heavy as lead where it sits in her stomach and Regina’s fingers are like claws where they clamp onto her arm.

“Now you listen to me. If you walk out of this place an unmarried woman – you are walking out on the street.”

Her breath is nauseatingly sweet but her threat is thankfully sharp and short as usual. In the next second Regina is making her way across the garden as if she owns every blade of grass and flower bloom and Emma heads inside the house to put as much distance between them as possible.

The sun is shining brightly for “her special day” and it takes her eyes a few seconds to blink away the white spots and adjust to the dimness inside. She lets them take in the home that she will soon bind herself to because simply stepping in has made it painfully clear to Emma that she is a coward and will not be seeking out her betrothed for an audience before the ceremony. She knows Regina makes no idle threats.

It is a moderately sized house and she is glad for it – a little bigger and it would’ve felt daunting, a little smaller and she would’ve felt trapped. The Jones’s home is well-kept even if it doesn’t look particularly lived in. The light seems to enter muted and subdued and aside from the powder white curtains, most of the interior is dark and somehow severe. She encounters at least half a dozen moaning floorboards on her walk around the ground floor. With all the guests out in the garden, the only other sound is her soft gasp when she peaks into the library.

Now, Emma isn’t inordinately fond of books but she is completely enamored with libraries – with the quietness and safety of them. A library in a house is little less than the eye in the middle of the storm, far as she is concerned. Unfortunately, it looks like it is also the room that sees the most of the family, if all the scattered books, writing implements and glasses left to ring the wooden surfaces are anything to go buy. She hums when she spots all the nautical touches – Killian Jones is a naval man on more than just paper.

But Emma does not care about furniture or decorations, about how light or dark the house is, she does not even care that the library probably won’t become her sanctuary. All she cares about is that unlike Regina’s imposing residence, there is scarcely any stone or marble to be seen, most of everything is made of dark, polished wood, covered in thick carpets and filled with deep settees. All she cares about is that it’s not freezing cold.

The first rumor about Killian Jones that falls apart in front of her eyes is that he does not care much for his daughter. Emma stands just behind the door through which she is supposed to enter the garden and watches Alice Jones adjust her father’s cravat. She never knew her own parents but if she had, the way Captain Jones is looking at his daughter is the way she would’ve dreamt of them looking at her at least once.

Soon – too soon – admiral Liam Jones strides toward them like he is about to gather his fleet and send them into battle. She knows he is slightly older than his brother but one would never be able to tell by looking at them. Liam Jones’s greying strands are just a soft accent in his lighter hair, he is clean-shaven and filling out his jacket just right. He stands tall and confident and seemingly ready for anything.

As he ushers his brother and niece toward the plain arch where the small ceremony will take place, Emma knows someone will soon come to collect her as well so she takes a shaky breath and prays it’s not Regina.

She gets her first proper look at Killian Jones when she comes to stand across from him at the altar and Killian Jones looks every bit his age and then some. She finds him much more handsome than his brother and infinitely sadder. His own broad shoulders exude exhaustion and the lines on his face speak of more agitation than laughter. His eyes are the bluest she has ever seen and for a moment Emma is afraid they will chill her even more. But Killian’s eyes are warm, if tired, impossibly deep, if carefully guarded. His voice sounds like a smoking room and the grey in his dark hair stands out like a shock to the body after a stiff drink. She supposes a lady should not know how that feels. Killian looks like he knows how that feels. He looks like he would like to be reminded right this second, in the middle of their proclamations to “love and cherish”.

Despite the bright sun and the soft breeze, Emma feels cold the way she always does. It could be her imagination or it could be that her fingernails are really tinged blue. When they are pronounced husband and wife, Killian’s lips feel scorching hot at the corner of her mouth. It is the briefest of touches and she feels the seed of gratitude within her as he pulls away.

Then she thinks what a ridiculous pair they make – a frigid cold bride and an already exhausted groom. This will go marvelously.

Tagging a bunch of cuties who were interested in the idea: @bmbbcs4evr@laschatzi @darkcolinodonorgasm @shireness-says @profdanglaisstuff @courtorderedcake @passports-and-postagestamps @nikkiemms @winterbaby89 @wyntereyez @sherlockianwhovian @mayquita @cocohook38 @naiariddle @omgdgeorge @aloha-4-ever @idristardis @snotelek @mashipssm @yasbio2015 If you wanna be tagged in future updates (or if you want me to fuck off your mentions :D), just drop me a line ;)

For more: MY FANFICS   MY BOOK   MY BLOG

[kuchenackerman]

EREMIKA POLL RESULTS

The poll was opened on January 6th, 2019 and closed on January 13th, 2019. It got a total of 403 responses and the main focus was to explore the shipper’s thoughts and feelings, especially after Chapter 112.

It consisted of five sections:

General questions

On chapter 112 and current feels

On eremika content

Content creators

General demographics

I’ll present the results’ interpretation by section and in almost the same order the questions were asked to make all the information a bit easier to follow. This way if you aren’t interested in one of the sections you can just scroll down until you see the title of the next one. I recommend using the shortcut CTRL+F to look up for the section results you’re more eager to read or to just jump to general result key words faster.

I want to thank Selena and Heidi again for proofreading the poll back then and suggesting some questions. Big thanks to EVERYONE who participated and took their time to write their thoughts down ❤  

Most of the respondents answers will be shared, and I mean “most” since I had to group up similar worded replies. For example, short answers like “chapter 50”, “ch 50”, “in manga chapter 50” got summed up. However, even if I tried to summarize things, there were too many answers that I’ll be sharing with you all anyway.

I apologize in advance for any grammar mistake or error in the presentation of the info. This turned out longer and required more time than I thought it would. Besides I’m tired and I don’t have as much free time as before.

I hope you enjoy digging in the results of the EM focused poll~

1. GENERAL QUESTIONS

1.1) Regarding when did the respondents started to ship Eren and Mikasa, over 65% of them does since 2013-2014 (35.2%) or 2017-2018 (30%), concurring with the years when we got Season 1 and Season 2 of the anime, respectively. Then, 24% of the respondents said to ship it since 2015-2016. About 11% of the respondents started liking the pairing before we even got the anime adaptation: 5.5% since 2011-2012 and 5.2% since 2009-2010.

1.2) Eremika is the main SnK ship of 66.5% of the total respondents. 12% (33 responses) of that 66.5% have other OTPs besides Eren and Mikasa. More than half of these shippers (19 of 33) support another hetero pairing as well.

1.3) When it comes to the people that don’t consider EM as their main ship, over 50% of them have another hetero ship as their main. Around 30% have a M/M ship as main, almost 10% a F/F ship and 6% an OT3 / trio.

1.4) Almost 70% of the respondents started shipping Eren and Mikasa while watching the anime. Besides the manga (27.3%), some of the shippers started liking the pairing because of fanart (including a “rather steamy NSFW” one, lol), fanfiction or because of some people in the fandom, like someone they follow that influenced their shipping feels or because of an enthusiastic friend.

1.5) 65% of the total respondents has NEVER stopped shipping eremika (y’all good), while 35% has stopped doing so at some point only to jump back on the ship again (I declare myself guilty of this, I’m a damn traitor), though a small part of that 35% never really jumped back on it and just drowned in the waters of their full betrayal.

1.6) On which character of the ship is their favorite, more than half of the respondents prefer Mikasa over Eren, who got 18.4% of the votes. 28.5% like both characters equally.

1.7) On canon looks of the characters:

The thirst for manbun Eren won this time and got a bit more than 37% of the votes. Our traditional short-haired Eren follows with 22%. There’s a tie between hobo Eren and middle-short haired (?) Eren at 12.4%. Almost 16% of the respondents don’t have a preferred look for our boy.

In Mikasa’s case, the responses were more even between all her looks. There’s a tie in first place with 22.6% of the votes between ponytail Mikasa and traditional bob Mikasa. Short-haired Mikasa and long-haired Mikasa got 21.3% and 20% respectively. 13% of the respondents couldn’t choose a specific look for her as their preferred one.

1.8) Now, time to share the shippers’ answers and the results about the specific moment of the manga or anime that sold eremika to them. There was a total of 289 written responses to the question. I tried to organize them in quantity of mentions of certain scenes or chapter/episodes. Some replies mentioned more than one moment.

The first place was taken by S2 Episode 12 / Chapter 50 from the Clash of Titans arc, since about a hundred people mentioned it as the moment where they started shipping Eren and Mikasa.

Trost Arc got second, third and fourth place: S1 Episode 6 / Chapter 6 got almost eighty mentions, while S1 Episode 8 got around fifty mentions and S1 Episode 7, with a bit more than twenty mentions.

Eight times people mentioned they started shipping EM since they were introduced in S1 Episode 1/ Chapter 1. Some don’t identify a specific moment but talk about their appreciation toward their general relationship, dynamic or scenes together.

S1 Episode 14 / Manga Chapter 19 trial scene got mentioned about seven times.

The final episode of season one got mentioned five times.

S1 Episode 12 / Manga Chapter 13 and Chapter 51 got both mentioned at least four times.

[ Answers to 1.8 ]

~ S1 Episode 1 / Manga Chapter 1

Literally the first scene Eren dreaming abt Mikasa with that scarf and asking why her hair got longer and when he gave the scarf to her

Her tossing his ass into the side of a building, spilling the firewood everywhere

When Mikasa threw Eren against the wall in episode 1 season 1

In the first op when they're surrounded by dead comrades and mikasa looks at eren. The shipping feels started. The scarf scene (entire backstory of Mikasa and Eren's meet strengthened my feels)

Mikasa taking care of him since day 1

~ Unspecified

No specific moment. I just knew they were meant to be together from everything they did!

I don't remember exactly. It just felt naturally that they have to be together.

The very first time their dynamic was truly shown. It's so rare and interesting to see a het pairing where the girl is the cool, stoic protector and the guy is the reckless but good-hearted damsel in distress!

It grew on me over time - they just seem to both really care for and look out for each other.

All eremika scenes 💕💕💕

Idk....it just kinda happened.

"Ereh"

No specific scene, it was just that her desperation wore me down over time

just their bond and dependence on each other through hard times and how resilient their unspoken trust and faith in one another is

Tbh I was originally an Ereannie shipper and don’t really pay too much attention to other characters at least in that aspect of going to ship them but after rewatching the anime series for who knows how many times I came to realize that Eren and Mikasa were just a ship that I can’t deny in which I think it’s only natural for them to be together.

I had watched all of season 1 without focusing on shipping. It wasn’t until I reflected later on and rewatched that I started shipping Eremika very much <3

~ S1 Episode 6 / Manga Chapter 6

When for the first time they slain evil, love at first kill.

The World the Girl Saw! I had this inkling feeling that I was going to ship them ever since the beginning, but this really did it for me.

Eren saving Mikasa from kidnappers / Mikasa losing her parents / Eren wrapping his scarf on Mikasa

I think it was the scene in the anime (as I watched the anime before reading the manga) when Eren wrapped his scarf around Mikasa and her face softens because of his kindness to her.

Episode 6 of the anime, when we got the backstory of Mikasa, but also, while reading the manga chapter 50 killed me.

Episode 6 of the anime; the scarf scene melted my heart

When Eren saved Mikasa from the thugs and told her to fight. Also the scarf scene really got me.

Episode 6 of the anime when Eren wrapped his scarf around Mikasa sealed the deal for me. ❤

The chapter/episode show Mikasa's past and especially when Eren pull Mikasa's hand while blushing, I knew that my whole life is for these two.

Their first meeting. It left an impression on me.

Mikasa's memory of Eren wrapping the scarf around her and grabbing her hand. Mikasa looked so grateful and happy in that moment.

Mikasa's tragic backstory and being saved by Eren who then gave her the scarf. And the moment she finds out he's still alive inside the attack titan and cries while hugging him.

Eren saving her when he didn't have to. (Kidnappers)

Episode 6 - when Eren wrapped the scarf around Mikasa when they were kids. It made me realize how strong Mikasa's feelings were for Eren, and how their bond was sealed the moment he gave her the scarf.

Mikasa's backstory episode earlier in Season 1. It only took that scene to validate me the fact that these two are meant to be always together. Call it string of fate or whatever. She is attached to the boy that saved her life. Chapter 50 of the manga also further validated my point.

The moment Eren gave Mikasa his scarf. It's a heartwarming moment as it gives Mikasa new hope to live and a home together with Eren.

I fell in love with Eremika the first moment I saw them when Mikasa was staring at sleeping Eren in the first episode, but I started shipping them when Eren wrapped the scarf around Mikasa and gave her a home. And one of my favorite scenes if not my favorite is when Mikasa started crying when she heard Eren’s heartbeat in S1E8 after he came out of his Titan form the first time. God that’s a lot to say :D

Since retrospection of their adventure in stabbin cabin

The moment I found out they are not blood related

Scarf scene (bet everyone's gonna put that though) but also their constant care and concern for each other throughout the series

I started watching the anime before fully reading the manga. I always thought Eren and Mikasa would be cute together from episode one. I didn’t really have a reason I felt that way, it was more of an instinct. However I didn’t fully ship them until Mikasa’s backstory in episode 6. I enjoy how their relationship is “tough love” instead of a in-your-face sap show. They just belong together. Their relationship matches the world they are in, and I always had a thing for ships that take a long time to come together. The end result is more satisfying.

Seeing their backstory of how they met because before reading/watching I saw people saying they were siblings. But that's not actually true so it expelled my worries about the ship.

When Eren wrapped his scarf to Mikasa and said "let's go home…"  

When eren saved mikasa as kids and also the end scene of season 1 when eren picks up the scarf and says "that thing has seen it's best days, ill just get you a new one" and mikasa is like but it's special :c

“As long as you’re alive I can do anything” scene after her back story

~ S1 Episode 7 / Manga Chapter

Ep 7 of season 1 where Mikasa is about to get grabbed by a titan and in her last moments she thinks of Eren, and she's just like "If I die, I won't be able to remember your face". And decides if she goes down, she's gonna go down fighting, the way she knows Eren would want her too. ;_;

Scarf scene. Also when Mikasa remembers smiling down at a sleeping Eren and regains the will to fight, then Eren's titan shows up and protects her

First Attack Titan appearance and Eren saving Mikasa

when titan!eren came to smash the titan as mikasa was about to stand for herself after her pomegranate speech

When Mikasa thought Eren had died, and her reaction to that, that's when I REALLY started to ship them.

This is too difficult to answer lol. But if I choose one scene that charmed my heart with them it's would be that scene in ep.7 (s1) when Mikasa gave up to live. She remembered the words that Eren said to her in the past to keep fighting! TATAKAE! and the emotion that trigger in her the streght to protect the last memories that she had of him... MAN, I always get goosebumps at remember her speech! "If I die, your memories will die with me, that why I will fight! No matter what! I will live!"

Mikasa's being suicidal and hopeless after Eren's supposed death at the Battle of Trost District made me realize how much Eren means to Mikasa, and so I was sold on this ship.

ep 7, "I'll never give up again. If I died, I won't be able to remember you"

The episode where Eren dies and it flashes to Mikasa thinking about him, I knew I shipped them. I was a bit concerned because the anime wasn't clear on their relationship if they were brother or sister at that point, but the next episode was Mikasa's backstory and I knew it was safe to ship them!!

pomegranate scene was just too good :')

CH7, related to CH6, but seeing her find her resolve so quickly after losing him was sobering. I interpret this moment as a big precursor to CH50, but that's another moment

When Mikasa decides to live, because if she died she would not be able to remember Eren. And also when she sees that Eren is alive and runs to and embrace he.

~ S1 Episode 8 / Manga Chapter

In the anime when Eren emerged from the titan form and Mikasa ran to see it's Eren.

When mikasa cried holding eren after his first transformation as a titan

When Mikasa found out Eren was alive in trost

It wasn’t anyone thing. It was a lot of moments, but mostly the scene where Eren is revealed to be a titan shifter and Mikasa holds on to him and cries. That or the reveal of their backstory. Mikasa's clinginess suddenly made a lot of sense.

Mikasa being openly emotional for the first time while embracing Eren in ep 8

Definitely the scene where Eren comes out of the nape of his titan and Mikasa sees him.

The moment when Mikasa clutches Eren and tries to hear his heartbeat after they see him emerging from his Titan the first time. And when Eren defends Mikasa from the cannon and then at his trial, that's when it changed from one-sided to full-on Eremika for me.

Episode 8 of Season 1 when Mikasa found out Eren was still alive and started crying

Episode 8 Mikasa crying whilst hugging Eren after he comes out of his titan form. Chapter 50. Chapter 51 Eren worrying about Mikasa and apologising.

When Eren appeared for the first time out of his Titan form and Mikasa run to him, when she started crying while listening his heart beat I was sold.

EPISODE EIGHT "I CAN HEAR HIS HEARTBEAT" MOMENT

"I can hear his heartbeat"...I cried when Mikasa ran to hug him and heard his heart beat, and then cried and cried. Like...she's so strong and brave all the time - that really hit me. You could feel the amount of love she has for him. Either that one or the scarf scene where Eren wrapped his scarf around her and welcomed her into his family!

Hugging eren when he first emerged from the attack titan

when she found out he was alive again and started crying

when eren appeared out of the titan and mikasa hugged him

I first bit when Eren wrapped the scarf but they reeled me in when Mikasa finds out he wasn't really dead and first comes out of his titan

Cap 8 anime, Eren sale del titan y Mikasa corre hacia él y lo abraza y llora

The manga equivalent of episode 8. Forgive me I can’t remember chapter numbers for the life of me.

When Mikasa ran to Eren after he first emerged from his Titan corpse and cried as she embraced him.

I think I've always loved the idea of them being together romantically since Eren saved Mikasa as a kid. However, the scene of Eren first coming out of his titan and Mikasa holding him while crying will forever be a highlight from the show/manga that I won't forget.

when Eren comes back to life in season 1 & Mikasa sobs while clutching him hard against her chest, uncaring about everyone watching/hearing around.

When mikasa started crying after she found out that eren was alive, when she said “If i die, i won’t be able to remember you” and the scene from season 2 episode 12, “I’ll wrap that around you as many times as you want. Now and forever... as much as you want!” that line makes me cry every time.

The scene when Mikasa hugged Eren and cried in relief that he’s alive.

When mikasa hugged eren tightly after he came out of his titan form on episode 8

MIkasa crying into erens chest after she pulls eren out of his tian for the fist time in Trost, season 1, plus the last episode of second season had me bawling on the floor tbh it  was such a great scene

When Mikasa realizes the person emerging from the Attack Titan is Eren, and she immediately goes to him, holds him, and cries.

~ S1 Episode 12 / Manga Chapter 13

When Ian pointed out Mikasa’s feelings about Eren during the Trost battle

When Ian called Eren Mikasa’s boyfriend - and she blushed.

Cliché haha but: when she blushed when Riko said that Eren is her boyfriend I was like ohhhHHHHH girl

~ S1 Episode 14 / Manga Chapter 19

When Eren defended Mikasa during his judgement

The court trail scene where Eren stood up for Mikasa

The scene in the anime in the courtroom where Eren defends Mikasa after the bystanders accuse her of being like him

It was when Eren was at the court house he said it was all his fault and not to blame Mikasa

Either it'd be the scene in chapter 51 or the moment Eren stood up for Mikasa during the court trial back in season 1

~ S2 Episode 12 / Manga Chapter 50

Chapter 50 10000%

the "I'll wrap this scarf around you as many time you need" scene

The anime scene at the end of season 2 where Eden unlocks the power of the coordinate to save mikasa

when she encouraged him right before meeting Dina.

Chapter 50 “I’ll wrap that around you now and forever, as much as you want”

When she confesses while they are surrounded by titans about to die, and then Eren declares “I’ll wrap it around you as many times as i need to-“

Season 2 when Mikasa says thank you.

Cuando Mikasa le da la gracias la Eren por enseñarle a vivir, y colocarle la bunfanda, y él señala que siempre lo hará.

Season 2 almost kiss scene - you know it bro, and her falling asleep by his bed

the scene... "I’ll wrap it around you again, again and again, forever" bruh...

When mikasa talked about how eren saved her and gave her the red scarf.

Had been there for a while but chapter 50 solidified it for me. Mikasa's heartfelt words giving a broken Eren the strength to fight.

Eren saying “ill wrap that scarf around you as many times as you want”

In the chapter 50 of the manga (scene from the SnK S2's finale) when Mikasa confessed her feelings to Eren

Season 2 episode 12, when mikasa confessed to eren, and him promising to her.

Chapter 50 had the best EreMika scene so far because Mikasa really went heart-to-heart about her feelings to Eren (in the anime, we see her leaning in)

When Eren activated the Coordinate for the first time when saving Mikasa.

There was a lot of stuff in the earlier chapters but chapter 50 took the cake

Although their relationship has always been meaningful to me, I first began shipping them romantically after I read the scene where they’re sitting in front of the smiling titan, and Eren promises to wrap her up in her scarf over and over again, before unlocking the power of the coordinate when he contacts the smiling titan.

The scene when Mikasa almost kissed Eren

La escena en la que Mikasa casi besa a Eren y el se levanta y dice: "Te la pondre las veces que quieras" siempre veo esa escena cuando hay tambaleo en el ship

There is too much but I would say chapter 50 (like a lot)

I think that the first one, was the one in chapter 50. I discovered Snk too late, and I fell in love for them since this chapter :)

Chapter 50, Mikasa worrying over the post-experiment Eren in Chapter 54.

Eren and Mikasa second confrontation with the Smiling Titan/Dina's Titan

I think it was THE eremika scene in the manga, aka the infamous chapter 50 scene, but idk anymore

The Eremika shipper's Bible, of course! Ch. 50. Specially when Eren basically says he's always gonna be there for her. Also, when Eren apologizes to her right after the whole thing and she's recovering from her injuries. And that panel when he's thinking about everything's he's lost during their journey to end this for good, but he looks back at her and says "No, not everything" or something along those lines. And when Mikasa is sitting next to him when he's unconcious and Armin leaves and he has this fucking little smile and he just  k n o w s and Mikasa knows he does. Oh, and when Eren, Mikasa, Hanji and Levi finally get in the basement and they're both looking at the things down there together and when they open the book together, their hands barely touching. Oooh, and when Eren tells everyone they're special to him and Mikasa's blushing and looks up to him and kind of smiles and he looks away?? Gold. Oh and of course, Ch.112's cover! The soft and tender look in their eyes while looking at each other is just so painful !! And soft !!

~ Post time-skip. Chapter 101 onwards

I started to ship them when they both blushed at each other in ch. 108

Flashback of Mikasa Chapter 108

Manga 108 when Eren and Mikasa have their own panel and both of them were blushing at each other

I started shipping them a longggggg time ago, but i think it was chapter 108 in the manga, (i think) when Eren says that he cares about them all, but hajime gave Eren and Mikasa those two seperate panels of them blushi,g at eachother. That one really chained my heart to this ship, and i will stay with it whether it sails or sinks.

I started shipping them after post-time skip. There wasn't a specific scene, but rather, both matured and their relationship would be more balanced.

Eren talking to Mikasa in ch 112- it was so obviously a contradiction to their relationship that it actually proved (imo) mutual feelings

The moment in Marley Arc when Eren is looking at her before the WH comes to

I became interested in their romantic dynamic after Mikasa's, "Come home," line in the Marley arc. I'd always loved content with both of them, but I hadn't found their relationship very interesting, so I just hadn't thought about it much. The recent developments have changed that.

Nothing in particular. Maybe when Eren attack Marley and Mikasa looked at him tearful. It’s not romantic but I appreciate the heaping amounts of angst of the ship.

Liberio reunion

~ Other responses

Eren looking up at Mikasa and then transforming into Rogue Titan when fighting Female Titan.

When mikasa tries to save eren from annie

When Mikasa put a blanked over Eren in RTS

Anime episode 13

When mikasa picks up eren

When Mikasa announced that she'd join the scouts with Eren.

they breathed and i was like ‘otp’ joking— the moment eren was out here pushing her away using his forehead and mikasa said ‘please don’t die’ because that scene spoke to me and then the history of them (childhood, eren saving her you know the drill) kicked me and my feelings.

[After a dream]: “It was a straight up fanfic in my sleep. I woke and was like "I guess I ship them now?" I used to not be so into Eremika but since then I've been a bit more accepting of it.”

Either when Eren first turned into a titan and wounded her/left the scar on her cheek or the courtroom scene, most likely the first one

The last episode of season 1, Eren and Mikasa in the room, she holded his hands, I found this scene intense, and started to ship them even more.

The hand hold when Eren was lying on the bed

2. ON CHAPTER 112 AND CURRENT FEELS

2.1) The 403 respondents’ got multiple choices to check that could fit their first thoughts and feels about the alternative cover for Volume 27. 

38.7% of them simply appreciated Mikasa, Armin and Eren being cute in it. 36% called Isayama a bitch, 34% reacted with Queen’s “IS THIS REAL LIFE? IS THIS JUST FANTASY???” because yeah, no one was expecting such a blessed cover, and 33.3% reacted with Backstreet Boys’ “Quit playing games with my heart~” because Isayama loves hurting us all and has probably been plotting to do so since the 90′s. 31.5% of the respondents saw the cover as a shippy exchange between EM, as they considered they’re staring at each other in a flirty way, and 31% checked the keysmash and cry choice... (I understand)

13.2% considered Eren was looking at both Armin and Mikasa, without anything explicitly eremika going on and a bit more than 7% are so dead inside they felt nothing with such a wonderful cover (RIP their miserable souls).

~ Added answers:

Lies

Let them have babies please ;^;

Ehh

I think this cover gave me the strongest dose of Eremika feels ever. I can't look at it without grinning from ear to ear~

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK

It's beautiful. Nothing to freak out about tho.

How dare I get taunted with this blessed image when I know shit's about to go down between the three! 😭

It's so peaceful and beautiful. I wish it happened in the manga.

I have a theory actually for this...

Armin is cute

THIS IS FUCKING CANON.

It is actually the first time I see this cover and it's very cute and nice but after the chapter I can't feel nothing about it. Only hate for Eren and his words.

I can see how it can be interpreted in both ways and if we lean towards eremika then: cute!!!!!!!! so sweet!! but it makes me cry!!

Both Eren and Mikasa sees each other as their most important person in the world

*DIES*

they just look happy and looks like eremika actually canon but isayama try to cover it.

NANI

Mikasa clearly looks super in love with Eren. Eren may be looking at either mikasa or both mikasa & armin. I’m not sure...

My soul left my body.

Id say they're all three looking at one anoth another tbh

I love the Eye to Eye contact of eremika

Must protect

crap i think eremika is dying, BUT I DON'T WANT IT TO DIE, so i hope that this scene was just a build-up for their relationship (otherwise i'm knocking on Isayama's doorstep at 3am)

The hurtful words will save Mikasa's spirit, so Eremika shippers should support Eren's efforts in freeing her.

Is this foreshadowing that Eremika will become canon?

ISAYAMA REALLY GONNA PLAY WITH MY HEART LIKE THAT HUH?

How cute and pure the way Eren look at his Mikasa XD

EREMIKA IS STRONG ON THIS ONE

Poor Armin gets ignored by the two lovey-doveys 😠

You trynna fuck

Armin: okaaay, I will be going...

Indifference

I knew by just seeing that cover that it was gonna hurt lol

I just liked that they were all together just like the old days

OMG are they finally canon? Please isayama sensei make them canon *.*

I thought it was nice but I knew it was ironic.

There’s a dagger hidden under the cover.

2.2) When it comes to analyze the cover in relation to future manga developments, most respondents (47%) see it as a glimpse on Eren's authentic feelings toward his friends, around 39% see it as a symbolic image, 36% see it as a trap meant to make us hurt more after what happened in chapter 112 (we know you, Isayama), 25.6% consider it foreshadowing, 20% a somewhat alternate reality / timeline, almost 19% see it as an utter lie or that Isayama is just trolling, 13.6% only see it as a blessed cute cover and 5.7% think it’s irrelevant story-wise.

~ Added answers:

Im torred between a foreshadow or just a cover…

What it could have been

This isn't teasing or trolling; its Isayama's way of telling us to have hope/showing Eren's feelings.

An ironic and nostalgic cover

A mix of possible 'alternate‘, maybe end-game, but for me mostly a CLUE to something...

Mikasa's hopes for the future

Honestly I don't know what to think after all that happened. But I hope it's foreshadowing toward his true feelings about Mikasa and Armin. Especially Mikasa. Maybe Isayama gave us a hint that Eren loves his friends and so we shouldn't buy all his words.

It's all Eren wants but it's something he'll never have again

how things could be if differences didn't stand in their way

Eren and Mikasa fucking

That was Eren's real feelings, but I believe he is partly hurt by believing that everything Mikasa has ever done for him is because of Ackerman's blood. Eren is also blinded by the idea that he is free and that he can make his own choices without being manipulated by his blood or the personality of someone in his head.

2.3) What was your initial reaction to Chapter 112 regarding all the things Eren said to Mikasa?

In this other multiple choice question, 55.6% of the respondents said they wanted to hug Mikasa so badly after what Eren said to her, 44.7% checked the “Eren: why the fuck you lying, why you always lying?” option, 40% wanted to punch Eren so hard and felt so proud when Armin did it, 37.7% were shocked, almost 29% called it bullshit / laughed / pfft-ed at Eren’s “I’ve always hated you”, around 25% just reacted with an “Eren, pls”, 22% were just as heartbroken as Mikasa and cried their eyeballs out, almost 13% have been crying ever since so not very “initial reaction” only, 11.4% checked the “Chapter 112? I don’t know her” option and 9.4% checked the “Uhh.. I didn't feel much because everything was too odd...” option.

~ Added answers:

I WAS SOMEHOW SATISFIED WITH IT BC I SUCKS FOR ANGST EREMIKA

I was kinda thrown off guard for a sec there when I first saw the conversation between them but then I think abt how this could actually leads to a better development in both Eren’s and Miaksa’s characters (romantically) I mean their feelings for each other have been a constant which I think this would hopefully trigger something between them.  

Eren is lying

Shocked at first, but I think it's an interesting development.

I laughed

I actually felt encouraged! No way it was true, Eren was obviously lying/being controlled.

Immediately knew that Eren was only doing this to protect Mikasa

Carla, your son's gone rogue again...

Was angry and felt Mikasa should‘ve retorted back aggressively. But honestly, I‘m more intrigued by his words.

I want to go there and kidnap Mikasa immediately, then Eren gonna suffer til the rest of his life

Cried multiple times bc of it.

I tought that his words couldn't be true

the first real step between Mikasa's and Eren's romantic relationship

Eren is cancelled

Enjoyed the drama and didnt get sad over it. Since it happened so suddenly it took me by surprise and the conversation was nothing like what I expected it to be. Barely a glimpse of emotion from Eren and Armin being the one to start a fight? I was dumbfounded.

It feels like a huge giant misunderstanding and Eren sucks with words. I can't believe Isayama builded the deep of their relationship just to end into this bs. If everything is going to end badly for Eren and Mikasa then Isayama doesn't know how to write.

I feel all of that

Had a bad feeling something like this would happen so I wasn't horribly shocked

I actually love it, mainly for the angst. Love the drama, love the feels n im such a sucker for angst lol

Eren seems to at least partly mean what he said, but maybe not as strongly as he said it. I also think he’s being influenced by memories/zeke/wht so I’m not too concerned.

Sad

I already know that's not the same Eren so I was just shocked by his wording more or less but that's it.

It needed to be said

I enjoyed it

I was expecting Eren to have a moment like this, tbh. Not because I believe he really hates either of them, but because he is clearly spiraling and isolating himself.

fight between mikasa and eren similar to sasuke and Naruto

eren can do no wrong in my eyes so idk

Conflicted. What he said was hurtful but I also felt like it wasn’t completely untrue. Mikasa has been having major doubts recently and this thing in Eren she won’t face. The Ackerman instincts don’t have comelktely grip over her but they do contribute majorly to a lot of things. It’s awful but at the same time I feel like if it was all nonsense then why did it trigger those memories and why did Mikasa just keep shrinking into herself. Mikasa doesn’t shrink away from things.

OMG, Eremika has become so exciting, dramatic and awesome!

I think I kind of expected the outburst

There is no way he hates her really

I was glad Armin punched him and I hated Eren more than I ever have before.

2.4) "You only cling to me because of your instincts as an Ackerman." If he truly believes the information he got and said about the Ackermans, could Eren be hurt because he thinks his relationship with Mikasa was never authentic?

Around 69% ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) of the people think Eren is indeed hurt or that there’s a possibility of him being hurt because of what he nowadays thinks (?) is the true nature of his relationship with Mikasa. The rest of the respondents have really no idea what to think about it or just plainly discard Eren hurting because of Mikasa and her cursed Ackerinstincts. 

2.5) From 1 being "influenced by the Ackerbond" to 5 being "of her own", how do you see Mikasa's feelings for Eren?

Most of the respondents (over 77%) think her feelings are mostly determined by her own person and not the Ackerbond. Only 6.7% consider Mikasa’s feelings are fully or very influenced by the Ackerbond and 16.1% think there’s a 50/50 situation.

2.6) Around 160 people decided to share their thoughts in relation to what happened in chapter 112, focusing on Eren and Mikasa of course:

Even if he won’t admit it, I think Eren still cares/loves Mikasa. His eyes seem tired and dead, but I noticed that they glimmered differently right before he told Mikasa he always hated her, and then they changed again when Armin asked if hurting Mikasa is the “freedom” he sought/had. If there is one thing that hasn’t changed about Eren, it’s his inability to hide what he truly feels. It’s obvious that he’s upset and perhaps feels betrayed, but i definitely think he still cares.

Yeah I believe the Ackerman stuff influences it *a little bit*. But her emotions are mainly real and she truly does care for Eren.

Eren deserves a good Ackerpunch to be honest.

Mikasa needs to realise that all her feelings are her own, and Eren needs to know, too.

His facial expression through the whole confrontation was CONFUSING like you can't tell if he is ANGRY or if  he is  HURT or if he really just have genuine hatred  toward his old friends? Like I am confused about his facially expression when Armin  told him "does freedom means hurting mikasa feelings" his expression was completely different than the rest of the panels. His expression had more emotion for some reason.

I hope that people didn’t forget abt the scene where Mikasa punched Eren in the face when he was being mean and venting off his anger towards Armin when the were at the refugee camp after the fall of Shiganshina.

Look at his face: this poor boy is as broken as us. There's a reason behind his actions.

I'm sure eren want mikasa to get away from him in order to keep her safe, this was the only way to broke the acker spell

I think Eren was rejecting Mikasa to free her from the ackerbond. I wrote an analysis about eremika due to ch.112 incidents here : https://nhamstory.tumblr.com/post/181741856688/eren-and-mikasa-relationship-from-now-onwards

I hope Mikasa leaves his ass

I don’t think she’ll give up on him easily, but I think she needs to let go, for her own well-being

Eren is only partly right. Mikasa's instinct to always be near him and protect him (incidentally the things that irritated him) come from the Ackerbond impulses. Her life and affection for him are her own. Eren obviously doesn't hate Mikasa and he wouldn't treat her this way without a very good reason. They both have genuine care for each other.

Eren is a bitch and Mikasa didn’t deserve that bullshit

I think Eren is genuinely mad (his morals and arguments consistent with his character from the very start) and, if anything, is deeply wounded. I wouldn’t be surprised if those emotions inspired him to act out, even though it’s wrong. He also has 3 titans inside of him, so I’m sure his brain is super jumbled and loud.

Its interesting how Eren never hurt Armin until the Yaegerists entered the room...

I think the Ackerbond brought them together but they stayed together for love

Mikasa deserves the world. Eren

I really don't believe a happy ending is in store for them, but I want to be wrong so badly. My biggest fear is that Mikasa will have to be the one to bring Eren down, or that the Ackerbond is exactly as Eren says.

i really hope that when he said that he hated mikasa that it was all a lie

It is just really confusing.

Eren still cares about Mikasa. It wouldn't be like Isayama to just pull a complete 180 out of the blue like that and not have a reason for it. I remember he said a while back that the thought of Mikasa having nothing else to cling to but Eren was sad and that she'll have to grow apart from him in order to get development, which I believe will happen soon. That doesn't mean that she can't still be happy with him though, so I'm sure this conflict will be resolved in some way near the end.

I think that Eren doesn't hate her but wants to make her free from her ackerbond. He would like to see her real self.

It's weird, but I think the extra attention Isa gave to Eren and Mikasa's relationship is actually a good thing, despite the negative context. As readers we're supposed to obviously know that Eren allegedly hating her is a white lie. Could he harbor resentment for a particular aspect of her character? Maybe. But it's already been blatant that he truly cared about her. I don't know if we're headed towards a tragic or satisfying ending from a shippers perspective, but I do believe that it indicates that we will get some sort of mutual acknowledgement of their real relationship. For starters though, we really need Isa to tell us what the hell's going on inside Eren's head.

I believe we need to get more info about Eren’s thoughts and intentions before assuming anything either good or bad about Eremika for now

We just need to wait for more chapters everyone. I still have faith💜✨💕 No one should go berserk or riot, not even later.💖✨🌅

"Only know you love her when you let her go", Eren gonna suffer because of this, one day.

THEY BETTER FIX THIS

I pity Eren for not being able to tell the truth about his feelings. It must hurt him to hurt Mikasa.

I hoping that the theory about eren being controlled by the will of the attack Titan is true and chapter 112 eren wasn't really "our" eren. Also, eren never hated Mikasa. The will of the attackTitan hates Mikasa. It even tried to kill her way back in season 1 while eren's consciousness was trapped in some fantasy where his parents were alive and he even saw Mikasa in it. If Mikasa can be so dear to him that she becomes an element of fantasy of security and family, then I'm sure our Eren never hated mikasa. So yeah. I'm hoping our Eren is still in there somewhere and will regain control of his consciousness and thus EMA will be a family again. Hoping. Fingers crossed.

There's a river called the Nile, I am in denial! (About what happened in chapter 112)

Eren doesn't hate Mikasa at all. Look at the court scene in chapter 19 when Eren defends her when they accuse her of being a monster and threatened to dissect her. Chapter 50 when he promises to wrap her up in her scarf again and again forever. As well as chapter 51 when Eren looks concerned as Mikasa lies down with broken ribs.

fuck you eren fuck youeren

That scene just hurt too much

Their relationship didn't ruined

I hate Eren now, though I really liked him very much before time skip. I don't know what I want more now: all of it to be a mistake/some cunning plan of Eren to save friends or I want Mikasa to be free from the feelings for this bastard and be happy on her own, without need to always protect and care about this stupid child Eren. Maybe still I like the first option more.

Yeah I have a thought. IM A MASOCHISTIC IDIOT TO STILL FOLLOW THIS MANGA.

Sinceramente no creo que esto sea el final entre ellos, sino que es un preludio para que en un futuro cercano Eren se de cuenta de lo importante y de lo que tanto ama a Mikasa.

Mikasa will realize that she truly love Eren in a romantic way

I honestly think that their relationship is not going to end like this. I have a strong feeling that Isayama is going to make everything work out in the end for Eren and Mikasa, slowly but surely.

Chapter was powerful, yes, it hurt my shipper emotion, but powerful hands down. Isayama is genius.

Eren is cancelled

I think Eren has a goal in alienating his friends like this, he isn't just 100% apathetic toward them all of a sudden. He might be trying to keep them out of something BIG that's going to happen soon. Maybe his entire plan with Zeke is doomed to failure but for a greater goal, and he wants to keep them away from the losing side?

eren and mikasa’s bond is the only beautiful thing in this cruel world sO PLS STOP YOU GUYS DONT BE LIKE THIS 😭

Not need, but Eren is such a hoe. But I love him.. But he's still a bitch.. But I lo-

Eren is controlled by others so I believe he is kinda lying. He love Mikasa and Armin so much but now he has to hide it

Mikasa  should move on

Et tu Isayama

PLEASE ISAYAMA! AT LEAST DONT MAKE MY BABIES HATE EACH OTHER, EVEN IF EREMIKA NEVER BECOME CANON, LET THEM BE HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER, DON'T MAKE THEM ENEMIES!

"stop being a bitch, eren." -- armin.

I mean what else would I have expected from this depressing af series

They still love each other regardless of what Eren says and how hurt Mikasa is. They're bond is too strong to be broken and thrown under the rug after 1 chapter.

Bless Armin for standing up for my girl.

2019 is our year, guys. Just wait.

Wouldn't be satisfied if they reconcile without Eren heavily kissing Mikasa ass tbh.

He seems hurt by the thought of hurting her.

The attack titan "always pushes forward" plus he's probably seen things via the paths hense Krugers whopping out the EMA

why you can't just be honest with each other guys? honesty is one of the important things in realationship

I have no idea what Eren's true objective is and I really want to know WHY he'd do that to his best friends. I mean I'm hella biased so I'll still be on his side even if it turns out he had no real excuse but...

I just wonder if he said that for mikasas own good,so she could have a life apart from him.

When Eren said that he hated Mikasa and was 'bullying' Armin around, I think he was really just lying to keep them away from him and not hurt them as a consequence of his future actions. I remember in a chapter where the new Levi Squad were building train tracks and Eren saying he cared about all of them. I bring this up because I truly believe that he still sticks to his words from that day, and is trying to push them away including Mikasa so they don't get killed like Sasha did.

Eren is playing 4D chess. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though.

we need another eren flashback okay

It was a (good) highly emotional chapter

Mikasa’s ackergene may have activated because of Eren, but she fell in love when he wrapped the scarf around her and extended friendship to her. Her love is true. Eren is just cray cray right now because he is influenced by memories/has spotty information.

I just want Eren to get hurt back by Mikasa herself

Eren truly is shocked from hurting Mikasa, he doesn't enjoy what he is doing.

Still wondering what is really going on in Eren's mind and his plan

Eren just want to keep safe her

per question above: Mikasa had protective feelings for him before he was a Titan which would still influence her feelings in the present, so I feel they have a genuine bond that's developed.

Isayama is just trying to make us hate Eren, and he knew this would hurt like a bitch! I have faith in our boi

It's pretty clear the truth isn't being spoken by Eren

It was both shocked and saddened to see them falling apart.

Mikasa is a strong character with potential. At this point I only want her to develop into the best strong girl boss she can be. As her own person with or without Eren.

I want to punch eren in the fucking face i want to dress him up like a cabbage and feed him to the snails

"Eren don’t you ever make my baby cry ever again or else

Mikasa is a little bit obsessed with Eren, so I understand why Eren used such cruel words, because they would get through her tick skull.

I think he lied to them (or at least told them half-truths), for what purpose I do not know. But if he really meant it he wouldn't look so hurt in that panel where Armin called him on his bullshit. Plus, I believe that if really believed in what he said, it would make his character irredeemable, and I don't think Isayama would ever do that (but that's just a guess though).

Sad babes

I feel like in this chapter that Eren is protecting Mikasa so she doesn't have to get hurt and Eren have to do that and I feel that Eren doesn't really mean all of that.

he’s definitely doing this to protect his friends

Fuck Eren in this chapter, but fuck Zeke more.

At this point Mikasa deserves better

I no longer ship them because Mikasa deserves so much better after everything she’s done to care for him. His words were too horrible, and therefore, they can never be a dignified ship again :(

Please wake up, Mikasa.

I await for a good Mikasa development arc and a tender Eremika and EMA reunion.

I want them to be back together again

They have'nt chemistry and common things.

It was cute and predictable

"just kiss already you two!" lol 1/2 jk

Eren is acting way too controversial recently. What he said isn't really what he truly feels, in my opinion.

I think, even though there was still emotional devastation on my part because of Mikasa and Armin’s reactions, it took a long time for me to evaluate the possibility that these were actually Eren’s words, since the whole thing was so bizarre and the degree to which he’s being controlled still hasn’t been clarified. I still believe that Zeke or Kruger may be influencing him, just because this is so antithetical to the Eren we know.

I think what Eren said is Isayama's way of setting up the inevitable confession of Eren's true romantic feelings for Mikasa somewhere along the way. I think Eren's pushing Mikasa (and the others) away so they won't get involved and be hurt on his future decisions, lest something bad happen to them. I've seen this thing happen before in other shonen stories, where the protagonist pushes away their potential romantic interest only to come back to them to apologize and confess. Idk I could be wrong though. I could never know what Isayama's really planning lmao

It's rewind time

it will give mikasa good character development

The ship is dead

If they were to mend back their bond, it wouldn't be the same as before. This is not a playground where they will all be happy. This is reality and they are bound to hurt each other whether they like it or not.

Eren is pulling the oldest trick in the trope book to try and force his friends away to protect them from his own fate

La ignorancia de Eren y el apego de Mikasa

Ok first of all Isayama himself said the Ackerbond is a CHOICE. Also even for Eren, that was an impressive amount of bullshit that came out of his mouth.

Eren looks so affected for Armin saying he made Mikasa suffer and we can appreciate he is truly hurt when he proves true that Mikasa is under influence of the Ackerbond while pushing Armin against the table. Plus, his reaction when Mikasa cries because she is disappointed of him in Liberio... thus it’s pretty obvious he DOESN’t HATE HER in my humble opinion.

💔💔💔💔💔

I need to see the story through Eren's eyes again for me to have a solid opinion.

I think that deep down Eren is doing everything to make him see Mikasa as a woman and not as a second mother. Deep down I think he loves her as she loves her

Well, someone previously mentioned before the contradiction found between Eren declaring that Armin is becoming soft and the fact that Armin suggested to have a titan devour and inherit Eren's powers back at chapter 108 which i totally agree with. Thus, i believe that the full truth has not yet surfaced and that it is still too early to judge on things that happened in chapter 112.

I really want to what he has in mind currently.

Mikasa's bond to Eren seems way stronger than Levi's to Erwin or Kenny's to Uri, so I feel that it's half Ackerbond and half lust

Eren lied to protect his friends

I think it's funny how a whole fandom can just totally overlook every moment between the pairing because of one chapter🤷‍♀️

EREN IS BUTTHURT THAT MIKASA MAY HAVE NOT REALLY LOVED HIM AND ARMIN IS DADDY AF

The chances for EreMika to become canon has increased and we might get a kiss and a sex scene between the two

I believe Eren is lying and Mikasa is really love Eren not because her ackerbond

I didn't expect this development so I still feel confused. I have a small hope Eren at least admits to himself he loves Mikasa.

I think Eren is brainwashed by Zeke. Also clearly hurt by the thought of his relationship/friendship with Mikasa being fabricated by her Ackerman genes since IMO he confessed back to her when he said he’d wrap her scarf as many times as she wants.. when she was about to kiss him cause she thought it was the end of both of their lives. Furthermore, whatever his plan is I think he wanted to keep Mikasa & Armin out of it to protect them cause i do not believe he could just start to hate them overnight. I hope this situation is temporary.

He doesn't hate her. How could he? I only hope her not to forgive him too soon (for herself, I mean). And I hope her to express her feelings just to, maybe, feel better.

@ eren why you gotta hurt her like that, MAMA DIDN’T RAISE YOU LIKE THIS!

Eren is obviously hurt for hurting his friends

I'll just wait for future chapters. Don't wanna make early conclusion

Lmao Yams is trolling

I have faith in eremika

I know mikasa won't end up with eren, but I just wish eren has same feeling like her.

I REALLY FUCKING HOPE eren is going to feel sorry for what he said to her, and that they‘re going to make up!

Eren is so blantantly obviously lying. Maybe Mikasas Ackerman genes have a bit to do with her protective nature, but not her feelings for Eren. There may have been times where Eren was frustrated with Mikasa, but he never has hated her. There is so much canon evidence he cares about her. For example him showing concern about her widget loss, the blushing scene, and him standing by her when she was injured. Much more where that came from. Maybe he said he hated her because he thought her Ackerman genes have control over all her feelings (which I don’t believe to be true, but perhaps he does.) Thus, sets her free because he cares about her that much.

it hurts eren to hurt his friends but he's got limited options here.

Eren better apologize to mikasa

I honestly think Eren's lying. We all know he's never been a good bullshitter, and he's transparent as HELL im 112, so tbh, i think he's partially being controlled be zeke who probably forced Eren to do what he did, and that he didn't mean what he said to Armin and Mikasa, and that he's doing it to keep them out of danger. Relationships like that don't just break off because someone said something hurtful. There's history behind the EMA friendship, and considering the type of person Eren is, he wouldn't just backstab them like that and tell them all those things, especially if he knew they'd cut deep. Eren's just a really, REALLLLYYYY terrible ass liar. (Wow i wrote a book here)

Something is up with Eren. While I think what he said seems harsh and unfair, I think what he’s expressing is true but the reasoning is off. I dunno how to explain its like... Eren isn’t the kind of person to say something like this for dramatic effect or do I see how pointless drama serves this kind of story at all. That and Mikasa’s reaction to what he said and her own doubts I can’t ignore that as much as I want to. Something is up but I think there’s is some truth in there

As much as I like Eremika I want Mikasa to get rid of Eren.

BRUHHHHHHHHH IAM HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABT THIS

Eren you bastard... why are you like this

It hurt Eren when Armin said that, his face says it all .. just that Eren got mad because he got a reaction out of it

Fuck u eren

The points he makes are quite logical, but the bond between them and the strong development of their relationship throughout the years  just make every harsh thing he said sound really really odd and although sounding like a truth - give the feeling of an utter lie

bitch i was ready to swing this edgy hobo boi is on some dumb shit obviously lying out of his ass to keep them safe or make them hate him for their own well being but he went too far with mikasa >:c

I believe Eren is simply way too aware of his and everyone's on the island deadly position/situation (Sarah's death definitely triggered him,too) hence his harsh words towards Mikasa and Armin in order to push them away and making whatever Eren has to do in order to safe them easier (i strongly believe Eren will die by the end of the series)

I wanna see more pain. (I’m sorry, I like the angst)

WHERE IS ALL THE ANGSTY FAN FICTION, I'VE BEEN REFRESHING AO3 LIKE A MADWOMAN

Just makes me sad that their relationship has always & seemingly will always be based around tragedy

Im scared and excited at the same time

Zeke's a liar and must die for giving Eren this bogus intel. Also, this scene is really similar to that anime only one from EP2, isn't it? It's the scene where Mikasa punches Eren after he implies Armin is a parasite, has to be canon now that Isayama is approving changes. If there's anything to call a smoking gun over disproving supposed genetic influences, this would be it.

Mikasa is most likely a key character in understanding Eren's behavior and general goal. For me this dark turn clearly paves the way to some juicy development in the future.

He might just be pushing her away so that when he dies she can more easily move on.

Maybe he purposely wanted to hurt her because he thought it was best for her for some reason. Maybe he’ll do something dangerous and he didn’t want her to be involved so he tried to push her away (don’t know, I’m just hoping so much that this will turn out to be positive)

I'm so sad y'all

Bull *wait for it* shit

I'm more confused, baffled and kind of amused at Eren than sad or even angry. It's just... what the fuck? Like, yeah, he's been all mysterious and shady for a while now, but this??? wth

Eren and Mikasa forever !  Seriously 112 was tough but we all know that Eren never hated Mikasa , what he did was because he had to .

There will be world war against eldians and eren tries to break his bond with mikasa cuz she should go to hiruzu far away from war. She is no eldian and eren thinks it's not her war.

Feel like Eren thought the only way to make mikasa free was to try and cut the “ackerbond”

chapter 50 exists and shows Eren's real feelings!! all's good!!

Eren might have memories from previous titans overlapping with his own memories and feelings - hence the change of attitude

Eren doesn’t hate Mikasa and doesn’t hate the fact that she’s an Ackerman. He was and always will be her family before anything, I know that he wants to set her free from her ackerbond and I know that he’s hurt from the inside cause he’s causing so much pain to his only family left but I know deep down that he still loves her and cares for her. I was never affected by the whole ‘Eren hates mikasa she should forget him he’s ungrateful and blah blah’ cause eventually he’s doing everything for his friends just like what he told them in CH108  I know I’m not the only one who believes this. In the end it’s up to isayama to decide everything and I hope that Eremika will end up together due to many factors that I can’t explain but clear in both the manga and the anime <3

I think Eren’s just going through some shit right now/is being manipulated by Zeile and hopefully Mikasa will help him come to his senses soon.

She deserves better

Eren is trying to cut off the ties he has to people important in his life.

bless Armin for saying: this is what you wanted??: the "frEed0m" to hurt Mikasa? fuck Eren, ackerbond or not what the motherfucking fuck are you thinking??

Pues creo q Eren solo dijo eso para proteger a sus amigos

There has to be a plan up his sleeves. A plan that temporarily had to sacrifice his relationship with the closest two people in his life but in turn it will protect them and they will one day realise this fact. I am just petrified that by then Eren could be dead. Isayama will finish me off if this turns out to be his plan all along.

2.7) Did Chapter 112 affect the shippers’ feels for eremika?

A bit less than 8% of the respondents are thinking about stopping shipping Eren and Mikasa or they don’t ship them anymore (74% of the people that checked this option have another hetero ship as their OTP and around 19% have a male/male ship as their OTP. None of the pickers of this option has eremika as their main ship, they either dropped it already or they never actually had it as a main)

Chapter 112 didn’t actually affect the feels for the pairing for 33% of the shippers, while it made 21.3% of the respondents to ship eremika even harder. 

There’s also the people (27%) that got affected by what happened in 112 but are trying to remain positive about the future of the ship and, on the other hand, less than 11% of the respondents are feeling down about it.  

2.8) Despite everything going on in the manga, 53.4% of the respondents still have high to very high feelings toward the ship, while 19.9% have very low to low feels toward it. The remaining 26.8% are in some sort of shipping limbo, they don’t ship them too hard nor too little.

2.9) "I'll wrap you up in it again... Again and again. Forever." Will Eren's promise be ever brought up again?

The majority of the respondents (70.2%) consider Eren’s promise to Mikasa has to be addressed again in the manga, while 24.3% are not so sure about it happening and 5.5% think it won’t be brought up again.

2.10) Considering everything that's going on in the manga, do you think Eren and Mikasa will become a canon couple at the end?

47.1% of the respondents think there’s a high chance for the ship to become canon by the end of the manga - almost 9% of them claim to have always been sure about it happening. 23.6% don’t know what to think anymore due to confusion or other reasons (Ereh, pls) and almost 14% don’t mind if the ship become canon or not.

15.4% don’t think the ship will become canon or that it sunk already. From this percentage of people, about 76% of them don’t have eremika as their main ship. Something similar happens with the ones that don’t mind the ship becoming canon or not.

Regarding the last four questions of this section, and to no one’s surprise, the more you ship a pairing the more positive you are about thinking it may become an official thing one day, meaning you consider the characters can overcome the obstacles or see these obstacles as chances.

The less you ship a pairing, the less you care about it becoming canon or you are more prone to interprete any obstacle between the characters as a signal of a doomed ship. This doesn’t surprise anyone either.

3. ON EREMIKA CONTENT

3.1) Around 46% of the respondents look for eremika content often to very often while 32% never or almost never does. 22% do it sometimes.

3.2) The favorite type of content that the shippers look for is Fanart with 47.6% of the preferences, followed by Fanfiction (24.6%) and written analysis or discussions about the ship (21.6%). Edits or memes and videos only got 4% and 2.2% of the preferences, respectively. No one chose cosplay as their favorite type of content.

3.3) With 399 responses, the frequency that the shippers reblog, retweet or like fanarts / edits 41.4% often to very often, 34.5% almost never or never do it and sometimes 24.1% of them do.

3.4) With 371 responses, around 44% of the shippers say they never (29.4%) or almost never give some sort of feedback to EM Fanfiction writers… which, sadly, isn’t unforeseen. A bit more than 17% claim to do it very often and about 39% do it sometimes or often.

3.5) 39% of the respondents have at least once made content for eremika and 31% still create content for the ship.

4. CONTENT CREATORS

This section was optional and 73 content creators responded to it. 

4.1) Around 60% of them are Fanfiction writers, 37% are fanartists, 20.5% are graphic makers and/or analysis writers, 8% of them make videos and almost 3% do cosplay. Other responses included writing headcanons, EM Facebook page and group admin, sewing EM plushies plus photographing and editing the pictures to add dialogue and effects, animations and someone will try their best at fanart.

4.2) Their favorite kind of content to create is Angst with 20.5% of the preferences, followed by Fluff (13.7%) and Smut (8.2%). 35.6% of the respondents stated to like all the types of content listed: Fluff, Angst, Smut and Humorous. A bit more than 12% claim to not really have a favorite kind of content. Other responses included “Fluffy and Humorous”, “a mix of angst yet powerful”, “canon compliant stuff”, “angsty, fluff”, “[...] all eremika content is GOOD FOR THE SOUL” and “I like to write rated M stories that don't just focus on the smut factor of the rating.”

4.3) On how often they create and publish their content, about 29% rarely do, over 27% do it once every a couple of months, 15% do it monthly and less than 10% do it at least once a week. Other responses included whenever they feel like it or are inspired and have time to do so, someone “create a fair bit but rarely publish anything”, someone else tries everyday to do something even if it’s not EM related, a writer used to update their fanfic monthly but nowadays barely writes, someone never publishes what they make but gives it to their close friends, a fanartist draw eremika all the time but never publishes it because they “know no one will like it”, someone else talk about EM with a friend everyday and they theorize together, and a writer used to write often but they rarely do anymore and it seems it’s been more than a year since they did.

4.4) Most of the respondents rate the support of the eremika fandom toward their content as regular (31.5%), a bit more than 23% rate it as very high, almost 25% as high and 20.6% as very low or low.

4.5) 42.5% of the respondents consider they help circulate other people’s creations very often while around 58% do it sometimes or often. Less than 3% said they never help to do so.

5. GENERAL DEMOGRAPHICS

5.1) This section was optional, except for the fandom and social media question, in which 72.3% of the respondents said to participate on Tumblr, almost 35% of them on Reddit, around 23% on Twitter and 17.7% on Discord. There are mentions of other social medias like Instagram (less than 8%), Facebook (a bit more than 2%), Youtube (1%) and Amino, Pinterest, a French forum, 4chan, DeviantArt, Fanfiction.net, Archiveofourown, Wattpad and real life. 5.5% of the respondents stated they don’t participate in Fandom.

5.2) In terms of geographical location, 47.5% of the 398 respondents to this question are from the American continent, almost 35% are from Europe, 13.6% from Asia, 2.3% from Oceania and 2% from Africa.

5.3) The native language of the respondents, considering 390 responses:

English 43.8%

Spanish 13.8%

French 5.1%

Italian 4.4%

German 4.1%

Russian 3.6%

Arabic 3.1%

Filipino / Tagalog 2.5%

Portuguese 2.3%

1.8% Hindi, Indonesian

1.5% Greek, Polish 

1.3% Mandarin Chinese

1% Dutch

0.8% Swedish (one of them also speaks Thai), 

0.5% Thai, Malay / Malayalam, Finnish, Romanian, Vietnamese, Japanese, Serbian, Bulgarian, 

At least one of the respondents speaks either Hebrew, Tamil, Welsh, Ukrainian, Urdu, Danish, Hungarian, Cebuano, Turkish, Bengali, Cantonese, Bisaya and Sami. 

5.4) When it comes to age ranges, almost 62% of the 398 EM shippers that responded to this question are between 18 and 24 years-old, 21.6% are between 13 and 17 years-old, 15.1% are between 25 and 34 years-old and only 1.5% are between 35 and 44 years-old.

5.5) 396 people responded to the gender question and the majority of them identify themselves as Female (70.5%), 24.5% as Male and 3.8% as Non-binary. One person identified themselves as demi-girl and someone else stated they didn’t want to say it. 

5.6) Finally, regarding the sexual orientation of the 388 respondents to this question, 64.2% are Heterosexual / Straight while 35.8% are among the LGBTQ+ spectrum: 13.7% are Bisexual, 9% don’t know or aren’t sure about their sexuality, almost 4% are Asexual, 3.4% are Pansexual, 2.3% are Demisexual, almost 2% are Gay / Lesbian and less than 1% are Queer. Other replies include Pan-Demiromantic and Lesbian/Asexual.

[jungkookie-saranghae]

Some more counting

I saw a post made by @okaykookwegetit (lol love that name) and I thought I’d go a tad bit deeper because I’m annoying lol.

So I wanted to see not only Jimin’s time on screen but in comparison to not only the other members individually but as a whole. Now, I’m going to do each G.C.F and have two totals at the end. One with G.C.F in Tokyo and one without purely because Jimin’s time will of course be drastically higher if GCFt is included. And also if we see that Jimin does somehow have more screen time than his members...well...anyway.

Let’s begin.

G.C.F in Tokyo

Alrightie so the breakdown is as follows:

Jimin: 135 secs - 63% screen time 64.8% including Jk on screen with him.

Jikook: 4 secs - 1.8% of screen time

B-roll: 79 secs - 35.2% of screen time.

Yeah so Jimin was indeed the absolute main focus of GCFt. FOR SURE. B-roll didn’t even have a look in looool.

G.C.F in Osaka

So obviously it will be mostly Jimin and Tae with an even spread. It was a video with both Jimin and Tae so they would of course get equal screen time..

or do they??? Muahahaha (its late and I’m tired sorry lol)

Wait though for real Jimin had that clip though that will add loads of time so once you take that out its a rough split of 50/50...right?......wouldn’t it be?....

*evil smile*

Here’s the breakdown fam:

Hobi: 8 secs -  3.3%

Namjoon: 4 secs - 1.6%

All: 9 secs -  3.7%

Vmin: 45 secs - 18.4%

Jikook: 2 secs - 0.82%

Vminkook: 5 secs - 2%

Tae: 24 secs - 9.8%

Jimin (with clip): 65 secs - 26.5%

Jimin (without clip): 45 secs - 18.4%

Well would you look at that. Somehow with or without the special clip Jimin had the most screen time. Hmm. Jungkook hates Jimin I’m sure this was a mistake of course.....*cough*. I am SURE Jungkook did not intend in any way to give more than a quarter of the video to Jimin.

I am sure the next one will be fairer.

G.C.F in USA

Just would like to point out it should be G.C.F in the U.S.A but I’ll let it slide Kookie loooooool (I told you I’m tired)

So, lets just have a little refresher here. Jimin appeared in the last two GCF’s and took up the majority of the screen time. Jimin then reads a question at a fan sign asking about the next one. Jimin then says he is the main model (because lol he is) and Kookie in all his gay panic glory says “Hyung the model keeps changing” and basically says he’s not the main GCF model to which Jimin politely tells him to be quiet (you tell ‘em Chim). When Kookie says something confidently it is a lie and he said that pretty damn fast and confidently for my liking. But hey, I’m a Satellite so I’ll allow for error and room for my judgment being wrong (unlike some others *cough* you know who you are) soooooooooo this is after Kookie saying Jimin isn’t the main GCF model. Let’s see the difference after that episode shall we.

When going through this video almost every person had 2 second shots. I’m not kidding I kept writing 2 2 2 2 so I think Kookie really put extra effort into ensuring everyone has as equal screen time as he could give after the fan sign. And guess who had the longest shot on screen? Nope not his muse Jimin, nope not Tae either...Namjoon. Yup. The man who he thought was so cool he joined a company for, the man who he met and his first word were “wow, thighs” (I’ll never get over that story i love you Jungkook).

Namjoon: 15 secs - 7.8%

Yoongi: 10 secs - 5.2%

Hobi: 14 secs - 7.3%

Jin: 9 secs - 4.7%

Tae: 12 secs - 6.3%

Jimin: 13 secs (I see what you did there Kookie) - 6.8%

All: 62 secs - 32.3%

B-roll: 29.7%

So BTS as a whole was indeed the most important thing here and Jimin’s screen time dramatically decreased for some unknown and random reason. I am positive it has nothing to do with the fact Jimin was the focus so much in the videos, fans actually started asking Jimin about future GCF’s rather than Kookie the creator. I am sure it wasn’t that. Please remember he hates Jimin. This is clearly why.

G.C.F in Saipan

Now, the latest installment from In The Clo- I mean Golden Closet Films. Now all members were in attendance. It was a work schedule and again all members were present (I know Yoongi and Jin weren’t in it that much but I say were present because they were indeed there and Kookie could have filmed them he just chose not to) So I am guessing that Kookie will be nice and fair with his timing and give each Hyung who he loves equal screen time.

Namjoon: 29 secs - 17.8%

Hobi: 20 secs - 12.3%

Tae: 19 secs - 11.2%

All: 10 secs - 6.1 %

B-roll: 25.8%

Jimin: 43 secs - 26.4%

Total

All GCF’s so far:

822 secs.

Jimin: 260 secs - 31%

Out of OT7 GCF’s

600 secs

Jimin: 121 secs - 20%

Tae: 55 secs - 9.2%

Namjoon: 48 secs - 8%

Hobi: 42 secs - 7%

All: 72 secs - 12%

These are seconds with just that person on screen and no one else. I put group shots in one category “All”.

It is crystal clear that Park Jimin takes up the majority of Jungkook’s work. You can see in the drastic difference of a whole 11% between Jimin and the next most shot person. And remember, the figures I included here are with and without GCFt. We don’t even need GCFt for Jimin to have the most screen time. Even after Jungkook tried to shorten Jimins screen time after being pulled up on his preference for Jimin publicly he still manages to include him more.

Though I support Jikook i am not bringing a romantic aspect into this. GCF is Jungkook’s heart and soul. It is his hobby that he loves and can use to express himself. It is his work and we should respect it. What i have presented here is simply the breakdown of each members time on screen. Please do with that information what you will or interpret that information whatever way suits you.

Please excuse any errors I just got inspired and stayed up late so if there is anything wrong DM me and I’ll fix it straight away. I really wanted to make a graph and make it neater but oh well.

And this is my own personal opinion but Park Jimin is Jeon Jungkook’s muse and they are in love.

Goodnight.

<3

[harry-leroy]

FAVORITE MARGARET OF ANJOU QUOTES 

This is part 2 to your ask, @suits-of-woe! Thank you for your patience :) I’ll give you my top 5 (in no particular order). 

1) “I see no reason why a king of years Should be to be protected like a child. God and King Henry govern England's realm. Give up your staff, sir, and the king his realm.” (2H6. 2.3.) 

- Margaret knows what she wants and she’s not letting anything stand in her way. I love whenever Margaret interjects in these political discussions, even when Humphrey is like “these are no women’s matters”, because she doesn’t just interject in them, she totally dominates them. Also this whole scene is just so emotional for Henry, and then the fact that SHE picks up the staff and puts it in Henry’s hand is just so powerful and heart-breaking at the same time, like I can’t. 

2) “Away, my lord! you are slow; for shame, away!” (2H6. 5.2.) 

- This line is so sharp, and it often gets cut (which is a shame), but in the performances where it isn’t like *ouch* I feel for Henry. Just some classic Margaret badass bitch energy over here and I’m living for it. 

3) “Enforced thee! art thou king, and wilt be forced? I shame to hear thee speak. Ah, timorous wretch! Thou hast undone thyself, thy son and me” (3H6. 1.1.) 

- I absolutely love Margaret’s lines in this whole scene. It is almost as if she is not talking to someone who would be her husband, but she’s having to mother Henry in a way (which makes his age rather ambiguous), and even though Henry is noted to be a “father” in this portion of the trilogy, it’s noted as being “unnatural”. Poor Henry, constantly getting yelled at, my poor baby. 

4) “Where are your mess of sons to back you now? The wanton Edward, and the lusty George? And where's that valiant crook-back prodigy, Dicky your boy, that with his grumbling voice Was wont to cheer his dad in mutinies? Or, with the rest, where is your darling Rutland? Look, York: I stain'd this napkin with the blood That valiant Clifford, with his rapier's point, Made issue from the bosom of the boy; And if thine eyes can water for his death, I give thee this to dry thy cheeks withal. (3H6. 1.4.) 

- (Okay but the amount of times that Richard gets called “dick” is amusing to me). In all seriousness, this whole scene is just cruel. Absolutely cruel. And I love writing some nice cruelty into my works, but this hurt me. In 3H6, the word “child” is no longer being used in reference to Henry, but instead on the focus of lineage, and also this wicked child murder that happens to Rutland, the son after Towton, and to Edward of Westminster. It’s just mean, and it hurts me. (I also have this whole speech memorized because it’s a badass speech). 

5) “What's worse than murderer, that I may name it? No, no, my heart will burst, and if I speak: And I will speak, that so my heart may burst.” (3H6. 5.5.) 

- The wheel has come full circle, hasn’t it? This speech is still heartbreaking nonetheless. The moment of Margaret’s defeat really hits hard. A woman, who this whole time has been having to contrive less than popular options for the preservation of her state, suddenly has no more. She’s out of options. There’s no where else to turn to but defeat. And it’s all on Edward’s life. Also, just noticed the parallels with King Lear here with the word “burst”... interesting.... 

Bonus) “What, dost thou scorn me for my gentle counsel? And soothe the devil that I warn thee from? O, but remember this another day, When he shall split thy very heart with sorrow, And say poor Margaret was a prophetess! Live each of you the subjects to his hate, And he to yours, and all of you to God's!” (R3. 1.3.) 

- You all thought she was gone, but surprise, she’s not done yet. I love how Shakespeare was like, heck to chronology, Margaret needs to live through R3 too (even though historically, she was dead before any of this second round of trouble started - she died in 1482, Edward IV in 1483). But y’all, Margaret is so cool, like I love her so much. 

Thank you so much for your ask! Hope these were fun! 

[in-this-light-on-this-evening]

do all the evens on that unusual asks post from like 12 posts ago

Bitch, that's a LOT 👀

2. is your room messy or clean?

Messy for the most part of the week. Then I get into the Marie Kondo mode and swipe up everything to the point it looks like a fucking Ikea show room.

4. do you like your name? why

Nein. If it was with a C instead of a K maybe I would like it better. Also the meaning is ugly.

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less

vide noir

8. whar kind of car do you drive? color?

I'M BI, I CAN'T DRIVE AKDNSK (I have the license though, still don't know how did I make it lmao)

10. how would you describe your style?

Hmm a mix of simple vintage, basic with a hint of modernity.

12. what size bed do you have?

Big enough for me and my stack of books laying down next to me, not big enough for tall people 💀

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?

IRELAND. I've been obsessed with that country since high school (hello 10 years of crying). I just need a place in the countryside where it's not too hot and where I can enjoy nature and peace. Also Irish people seems to be on the same reckless wave as I am, so 😂

16. favourite makeup brand(s)

I don't care really. The cheaper and working, the better!

18. favourite tv show?

Random order: Russian Doll, Misfits, Breaking Bad, Queer Eye, Good Omens, Stranger Things, In The Flesh, Sense8.

20. how tall are you?

5.2-5.3 or 159cm 😭

22. do you go to the gym?

Not right now. I used to go back in time, though. I did functional training and crossfit for a while.

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

Not enough for chickin nuggets :(

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?

6. I sleep on 2, the other ones are for hugging because I'm the lonlies bitch on this planet.

28. how many friends do you have?

EHM. Irl maybe 2. Online a few more... maybe 3 😂

30. what's your favourite candle scent?

Berries, vanilla, sandalwood, cinnamon.

32. 3 favourite girl names

Juniper, Eden, Aoife

34. favourite actress

Hmm nobody in particular at the moment.

36. favourite movie

Dead Poets Society, the majority of Wes Anderson's movies, Being There, The Fall

38. money or brains?

Why can't I have both?

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?

For an operation, only once. In ER for minor thigs I guess 3 times.

42. do you take any medications daily?

Dumb bitch juice.

44. what is your bigger fear?

Not having financial stability.

46. what's your go to hair style?

Messy hay nest or a bun.

48. who is your role model?

I don't think I have any... I mean, there are some people that I really admire but I don't know if I could define them as my role models.

50. what was the last text you sent?

"I'M HORNY FOR THAT NECK"....... I'm-....

52. what is your dream car?

Maybe a Mini or the new Fiat 500. Idk, something small 'cause I fucking fear big cars.

54. do you go to college?

Not anymore.

56. would you rather live in rural or the suburbs?

RURAL

58. do you have freckles?

I wish. God didn't gave me freckles 'cause otherwise I'd be too powerful.

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

+1300

62. do you still watch cartoons?

Sometimes, yes!

64. favourite dipping sauce?

BBQ, I think.

66. have you ever win a spelling bee?

WE DON'T HAVE THESE IN EUROPE

68. can you draw?

Yes, or at least I think I can lol.

70. what was the last concert you saw?

The love of my life, mister Hozier 😭 I miss him so much, it's been almost exactly 7 months as we speak.

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

Bitch, my maroccan breadmaker from the other side of the river.

74. what is your crush's first and last initial?

I have only one crush. I mean, we all know on this godamn clusterfuck of a blog that I love only one man that doesn't know I exists :')

76. what color looks best on you?

I don't know... I love wearing black, though 🖤

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?

When I'm home alone - open. When people are around - closed.

80. what is your biggest pet peeve?

Lazy and disrespectful men.

82. favourite ice cream flavour?

vanilla, pistachio, cherry

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

BITCH BOTH

86. what is your phone background?

88. do you like it when people play with your hair?

Y E S

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?

Both.

92. have you ever been drunk?

Yes, of course 💀

94. favourite lyrics right now

"You never loved me

I came all the way through time and space

To take you away and out of this place

You're an emerald in the sky

You light up the night by blinking you eyes

I'll cry and I'll cry if your light ever dies"

AND OF COURSE AND STILL:

"True that I saw her hair like the branch of a tree

A willow dancing on air before covering me

Under cotton and calicos over canopy dapple long ago

True that love in withdrawal was the weeping of me that the sound if the

Saw must be known by the tree must be felled for to fight the cold

I fretted fire but that was long ago."

AND

the whole "In The Woods Somewhere" song

96. day or night?

NIGHT

98. favourite month?

October, December but also March/April when it's still kinda crisp but you can enjoy the first warm sunlight and the nature that comes back to life 🖤

100. who was the last person you cried in front of?

Idk, I cry all the time when I'm alone.

[svtmatokis]

Maid of Honor: Epilogue

HAPPY SEPTEMBER!! So ultimately, I decided to take the rest of August off to recuperate from being sick the whole work stress thing but now that Septembers rolled around, it’ll be easier for me to manage my work load so I’ll start posting regularly again. Due to popular request -Coughmarycough- I’ve written this epilogue for MOH (also for Wonu-anon~) soo I hope you enjoy it!!

Parts: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 5.2 - 6 - 7 - 8 - END - EPILOGUE

Words: 2588

A year had passed since Mingyu and Hye-mi’s wedding and things with Wonwoo were nothing like you would’ve imagined had you stayed in any of your old relationships. He was nothing but perfect and you couldn’t have asked for a better man by your side.

You two finally moved in together after eight months since the lease on the apartment SVT Corp. had provided was up and it didn’t make sense for him to buy a new place.  Your apartment more or less stayed the same since you and Wonwoo were simplistic people, though you had gained a nice DVD collection as well as about two extra shelves to accommodate his many pieces of literature among many gaming systems, all courtesy of Wonwoo.

Your work days were a routine. Wonwoo would wake up first, start the coffee and take a shower. Once he was out, he would wake you up so you could take your shower and by the time you came out, a steaming hot cup of coffee and breakfast awaited you on the kitchen counter. Then, you two would get ready and head out together, meeting Joshua halfway for coffee number two. You couldn’t help that you were coffee addicts right??

After work it really depended on who had projects or not but for the most part, you would go home together and relax. Work was never a topic at home unless it was something you wanted the others opinion on which wasn’t as often as you would expect. You and Wonwoo would make dinner together then snuggle for the remainder of the night till it was time for bed.

Your weekends were more on the unpredictable side. You tried to sleep in more on your two days of rest but since Wonwoo was in Korea to stay, a lot of his friends came to look for him, whether to have a meal or to take him out for the day. A lot of the times he would politely decline unless it was one of the guys from the group then he’d go and do whatever but his friends also understood if he wanted to spend more time with you instead. You would watch movies, go on dates, he would even take you shopping once in a while but all that mattered to him was that you were happy.

All in all, life was more or less perfect.

The two of you walked hand in hand through the streets of Tokyo in early April, right when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. Wonwoo knew that you had always wanted to go to Japan during this time of year so he took his first opportunity and got it cleared by the board to sweep you away for a week on a surprise vacation.

“I cannot believe you pulled this off.” You said looking up at the cherry blossom petals dancing in the breeze.

“I’m Jeon Wonwoo, I can pull anything off” he said cheekily causing you to hit his arm lightly laughing.

”You are so-“ you started but Wonwoo cut you off by wrapping his arms around you.

“Handsome? Smart?”

“Full of it is more like it.” You shot back giggling as you settled under a cherry blossom tree.

Wonwoo wrapped his arms around you from behind as your hands rested on top of his. The two of you enjoyed the comfortable silence, watching people go about their business while children played at the nearby playground.

“You know...I did have a purpose for this trip though…” he muttered into your ear and you turned your head to look up at him with curiosity and noted that he looked slightly nervous.

“I want you to know that you mean the world to me…” he started and you gasped. This was not happening.

“And I want you to know that I love you with every inch of my being.” You were turned to fully faced him now as he continued his speech.

“Being with you this past year has been amazing and I couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life. Y/N, I love you with every inch of my being and I am so thankful for the clumsy idiot I call a best friend that he married someone as smart as yours which is what lead me to you.” He took a deep breath as he pulled out a ring box from his pocket.

“Y/N, under these cherry blossoms, join me on a new adventure. Will you marry me?”

You stared at Wonwoo in shock as he looked at you with hope and the next thing you knew, you were both on the ground with you crying.

“Yes! Yes a million times yes!”

Applause was heard throughout the park as Wonwoo helped you stand up and he slid the ring on your finger before pulling you into his arms and swinging you around.

When he put you down, he pointed you in a certain direction and there stood Lee Jihoon with a video camera in hand grinning like he just made a million bucks.

Shocked, you ran over to him and pulled him into a tight hug. You hadn’t seen him since your fathers funeral a few months before because he had to go abroad. His producing skills had become known internationally and artists were coming left and right to ask him for help.

“How did you know?!” You all but screamed as you heard Wonwoo chuckle behind you.

“That idiot had to ask for someone’s blessing before he could go through with this and to hell that Joshua be here instead of me.” Jihoon replied with a smirk and looked you over. “Plus, I got it all on video so you have something to look back on.”

You turned to look at Wonwoo. He knew that despite your past with Jihoon, you two were still incredibly close and it showed that. Jihoon and Joshua had spent a good amount of time comforting your mother when your father had passed away in a car accident  while Wonwoo comforted you and for that, you were grateful for all the men in your life. Jihoon was like an unbreakable rock to you and Wonwoo respected that.

The three of you spent the rest of your trip sightseeing before flying back to Korea together. You and Wonwoo happy as can be but anticipating the announcement to your friends.

A few days later you sat at a cafe with Wonwoo along with Joshua and Hye-mi in the seats across from you giving you both confused looks.

“So is there a reason for this meeting?” Joshua asked slowly as he sipped his coffee.

“We wanted to give you guys your souvenirs from Japan.” You said with a smile as Hye-mi eyed you skeptically noticing a certain glow coming from you.

“...is that all..?” She asked slowly as you handed both her and Joshua gift bags.

Looking at the contents inside, Hye-mi couldn’t help but squeal while Joshua only looked at his gift in awe.

“No freaking way!!!” She squealed some more before standing up and engulfed you in a giant hug making you both erupt in giggles as Joshua stood up and engulfed Wonwoo in a giant man hug before turning around to join in on yours and Hye-mis group hug.

Wonwoo could only watch you three act like fools as patrons of the cafe watched confused.

“So you two agree?” he asked once you calmed down and Hye-mi and Joshua nodded enthusiastically.

“Are you sure you don’t want Mingyu standing beside you?” Joshua asked concerned knowing the deep friendship between the two middle school friends.

Wonwoo shook his head with a grin, “I already cleared it with him when I told him I was planning on proposing. He thinks it’ll be bad luck if he walks the aisle with Hye-mi a second time.”

Joshua nodded his head in understanding before his grin matched Wonwoo’s, “Then I would be more than honored to be your Best Man.”

“Wait, how did my husband keep that from me?!” Hye-mi almost shrieked and you explained that Mingyu had known for ages that he was going to propose. He just had no idea when. That seemed to calm her down but it was Joshua’s turn to flare up when Wonwoo asked if they wanted to see the engagement video that Jihoon shot.

“EXCUSE ME?! YOUR BEST MAN WASN’T PRESENT AT THE PROPOSAL BUT YOUR FIANCES EX WAS?!”

That statement definitely got looks from the other cafe patrons.

Wedding planning was harder than you anticipated and you were wondering how you pulled it off with Hye-mi’s wedding but you knew that with the  support of Wonwoo you could get through anything.

Your wedding party was slightly smaller and only consisted of Hye-mi and Jisoo while Wonwoo had Joshua and Mingyu. You both wanted to keep it small and simple and were thankful that all your friends were understanding about the matter.

The two girls were a big help when it came to dress shopping and all the decorative details. The spare bedroom in your apartment had once again turned into the bridal suite. Wonwoo was not allowed in there AT ALL and you made sure to keep the key to the room on you at all times.

Outside of that, he was a huge help with the wedding planning. He helped pick the venue, the food and of course the cake but he also ensured that it was the wedding YOU wanted.

A week before the wedding, the two of you were in bed discussing final details and that was when Wonwoo asked.

“Who’s walking you down the aisle?”

Thinking for a moment you smiled, “Believe it not, my mom asked Jihoon if he would do the honor”

“Really? So Jihoon’s giving you away?” Wonwoo asked sitting up almost immediately and you nodded your head in confirmation. He then let out a breath

“That means he’s actually giving you to me then.” He went back to lying down, “Interesting.” a grin permanently on his face. His thoughts going back to your hidden past relationship. He knew he literally had nothing to worry about anymore.

In the beginning, Jihoon’s over protectiveness made it hard to court you properly but as time went by, Jihoon backed off slowly. Who knew that someone could do so much even overseas? It wasn’t until Wonwoo took a “business trip” to Los Angeles to confront Jihoon stating that he had every intention on marrying you and was formally asking for his blessing.

Jihoon couldn’t say no after that and the whole engagement plan was set up.

The night before your wedding, Joshua and Mingyu came and kidnapped Wonwoo from your apartment, going as far as putting a sack over his head and dragging him out of the house with a rope. It was definitely a sight to see considering how it took all of Joshua and Mingyu’s strength to get him out of the house. That left you, Hye-mi and Jisoo cracking up on the floor for several minutes till one of you recovered and managed to bring the other two girls back to reality.

You felt extremely blessed to have these two girls in your life. Sure you had Jennie, Rose and the others but Jisoo and Hye-mi would always have a special place in your heart. Like sisters in a sense.

The three of you spent the whole night talking about how in time it was going to be Jisoo’s turn and Hye-mi made a statement that she knew Jeonghan already had a ring and by the end of the night, Jisoo already had her ideal wedding planned in her head.

The next day, everyone was up bright and early for your big day. Like Hye-mi’s wedding day, Wonwoo sent you roses but this time, they were white and there was only a short note.

My love,

I’ll see you at the end of the aisle. I’ll be the handsome guy in the suit ;) I would say more but this is Joshua writing the note for Wonwoo and he’s talking too fast. I think he’s nervous but I’m sure he’ll be better once he sees you.

p.s. Tell Hye-mi I’m sorry I broke one of her vases while we tried to drag Wonwoo into the apartment with the sack over his head.

Love always

Your future Husband

Jeon Wonwoo (and Joshua)

You laughed as you read the note before showing Hye-mi and Jisoo who both burst into giggles.

An hour later, you were all primped up and Jihoon showed up in a suit. (He would only wear one for you as he only wore a dress shirt to Mingyu and Hye-mis). He looked at you in awe and muttered to himself.

“Jeon Wonwoo is one damn lucky guy.”

Later at the ceremony, everything had gone as smooth as you had wanted it to go. Jihoon had given you away while your mother sat on the side with tears in her eyes, happy that her daughter finally found a man willing to take care of her.

As you walked down the aisle, many found it odd that someone so young was escorting you down the aisle and not your mother but it was explained in the program that Jihoon had become a dear friend of the family and it was your fathers wish that if he weren’t able to walk you down the aisle, that Jihoon would do so.

Wonwoo only had eyes for you as you walked down the aisle and to him, you were the only person next to him in the room. It wasn’t until Jihoon had come forward and flicked the groom in the head that he was brought back to reality causing everyone in the room to laugh while Joshua and Mingyu shook their heads.

Everyone was surprised to see him cry as he read his vows and promised that no matter what, he would make you the happiest woman until his last breath. The moment the ordinator said those five words. Yes THOSE five words.

“You may kiss the bride.”

Wonwoo swept you up in his arms and gave you the sweetest kiss you had ever received while Joshua and Mingyu as well as the rest of his friends cat called causing you to pull away while red in the face.

The reception was held in a hotel that SVT Corp. had offered to pay for. Since joining the team, Wonwoo had helped the company grow to extreme lengths and they wanted to thank him in anyway possible.

Various wedding games were played and your first dance was to a song Jihoon had composed specifically for the two of you.

As you danced in your husbands arms, you looked around the room. The reception was alot smaller than Hye-mi’s had been but it was filled with only those who were important to you outside of those you HAD to invite because of family.

Wonwoo noticed you were spacing out and gently kissed your forehead.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

You smiled looking up at him before your lips met in a sweet kiss.

“I love you” you whispered as he returned the sentiment.

Everyone around you smiled knowing that you had found your true happiness and knew that it was only the beginning.

You and Wonwoo would go through many hardships in life but ultimately knew that as long as you had one another, you would be able to get through anything.

[the-real-xmonster]

I know this is probably a lil ignorant but why do the women typically score so much lower than the men? (at least in terms of the top 6 for mens and top 6 for womens) I know that the quad revolution is a little unreasonable for the ladies because of the immense upper body strength quads require (please call me out if thats wrong) but I was just wondering why the womens jump composition is so different

Well, while it’s true that the quad revolution over at the men’s side has definitely widened the gap between their score and the ladies’, jump BV alone does not tell you the whole story. For illustration, I’m going to break down the difference between our two current free skate world records: Yuzuru’s Hope and Legacy at World Championships 2017, 223.20 points and Evgenia’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close at World Team Trophy 2017: 160.46 points. Total difference is 62.74.

The most obvious: PCS coefficient: The ladies’ PCS has a coefficient of 1.6 for the free skate compared to the men’s 2.0, so by default their PCS is already lowered by 40%. If you take Janny’s PCS of 78.06 and scale it up using the same coefficient as the men’s, her score would be 97.58 and that’s actually 0.50 points higher than Yuzu’s. Overall, PCS coefficient by itself explains 19.52 out of the total 62.74 difference in their scores.  

Second, also obvious: ladies are only allowed 7 jumping passes in their free skates compared to the men’s 8. For the sake of argument I’m taking the least valuable of Yuzu’s jumps: the triple flip, BV 5.3 and GOE 1.5, so that’s another 6.80 in his favor.

Three, even before the quad revolution took place, the triple Axel by itself already created quite the divide (only 7 ladies thus far have managed to perform this jump in ISU competitions). A triple Axel is worth 5.2 points more than a double and its maximum GOE after SOV conversion is 3 compared to a 2A’s 1.5 points. This gap is widened even further when you consider the fact that the inclusion of 2 triple Axels is almost a mandatory feature in the men’s free skates. Yuzu’s 2 triple Axels plus their GOEs give him an extra 13.58 points over Janny’s 2 doubles. 

Four, yes, the quad elephants in the room. Aside from the Axels, the rest of Yuzu’s jump BV is 24.06 points more than Janny’s and that is, needless to say, largely because he does 4 quads and she 4 triples. Because quads’ SOV is higher than triples, Yuzu also has 1.30 more in GOE from these jumps (only 1.30, mind, Janny’s jump GOEs are absolutely through the roof *cough* WTT inflationary magic *cough*). 

There is virtually no difference in BV for the rest of their technical content, only a tiny 0.30 extra for Yuzu because he has a sit spin with one change of foot while she has a layback. Janny, however, got 2.32 more on GOE for these non-jump elements.

And that’s 19.52 (PCS coefficient) - 0.50 (raw PCS) + 6.80 (extra jumping pass) + 13.58 (Axels) + 25.36 (quads) + 0.30 (spin BV) - 2.32 (non-jump elements’ GOE) = total reason why Yuzu’s WR FS score is higher than Janny’s by 62.74 points.

Now as to the reason why the quad has not taken over at the ladies’ event the same way it has in the men’s field, as you rightly pointed out, performing a quad does require considerable core strength, which is obviously not the ladies’ forte. As I mentioned earlier, even the triple Axel is a relatively rare phenomenon in the ladies’ event. Because of their disadvantage in physique, these more difficult jumps carry much more risk for the ladies. One, because the probability of success is low (throughout her career, Mao Asada’s success rate at the triple Axel is only 39.5% and her 3A is really already the best among all the ladies who have tried it so far). Two, because of the extreme rotational force as well as the incremental height and distance required, a fall on a 3A or a quad is a lot more damaging compared to a normal triple or double. Since the ladies generally have less stamina compared to the men, such a fall would be even more harmful for them especially in competition, where it would eat up the energy they need for the rest of their program. On the whole, such risk vastly outweighs the return on additional BV (extra GOE does not even come into play here, again because of the disadvantage in physique, a lady’s 3A or quad would be hard-pressed to hit any GOE bullet).

That is not to say I don’t look forward to more ladies trying out 3A and quads. Sasha, Elizabet, Rika, we believe in you! You can do it! Show the men what us girls are capable of, won’t you?     

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #205 - Hocus Pocus

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: More or less.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD

1) Let’s start off this post with a little blasphemy: I actually don’t have a ton of nostalgia for this movie. I watched it like maybe three times growing up. I’d always catch bits and pieces on Disney Channel or ABC Family Freeform, but I just never got into it like so many other people did. And (prepare to be outright offended now) the last time I watched it all the way through (I couldn’t have been older than 13) I thought it was kinda boring. BUT I was going through a bit of a “too cool for this shit” phase then. Spoiler alert: I enjoyed it A LOT more this time around and do understand the hype now.

2) Fun fact: Human Thackery Binx is played by Sean Murray but is dubbed over by the actor who performs him (Jason Marsden) for consistency.

3) Despite being largely a comedy, there is a wonderful sense of creepiness to this film which I think helps to give it its unique flavor. I mean, this is a Disney movie which starts with a child being killed so witches can drain off its life force. Then these same witches - who explicitly say they’re loyal to satan and have been to hell - get hanged. There’s this sense of edge (or the Disney version of edge) which helps elevate it above a lot of Halloween family fare. I think it’s what makes the film so endearing.

4) Ah, our first encounter with Winifred Sanderson.

5) The Sanderson Sisters

So the way I’m going to structure this note is each sister will be like 5.1, 5.2, and 5.3. That’s how long the note is. The Sanderson Sisters ARE the movie. They’re the reason it holds up so well, they’re the reason people keep coming back to it, is because this trio is so absolutely wonderful. Each sister is written and performed in a way where you get a clear sense of who they are as individuals (instead of just being clones of each other), yet they chemistry between the actresses works so wonderfully that the trio is strong as well. They are the heart and fun of the film, with each actress being brilliantly comedic but also able to turn on a villainous dime when necessary. They’re just incredible.

5.1) Bette Midler as Winifred Sanderson.

The leader of the group in both writing and performance, Midler commands the sisters in a natural way. The actress is the most unrecognizable in the part, so much so it took me YEARS to even realize this was Bette Midler. By putting aside any and all ego, Midler gives a performance which embraces its cartoonish fun to totally wrap you in. She pulls focus, commanding every scene she’s in to the point where you can’t/don’t want to take her eyes off of her. She’s just incredible. According to IMDb, this is Midler’s favorite performance of her own. That fun just shows through.

5.2) Kathy Najimy as Mary Sanderson.

Najimy is an absolutely amazing character actress who totally blends into every role she’s given. Mary is no different. Much like Midler, she is able to work with the cartoonish silliness of the part (with a character who is maybe more so that than her sisters) to just make you laugh. There are so many great moments Najimy has, often times while other things are going on, that you have to watch multiple times if you even hope to catch them all. She’s just really great.

5.3) Sarah Jessica Parker as Sarah Sanderson.

The youngest (I believe youngest) Sanderson sister proves that there is no weak link in this chain. Much like Middler, this role is so different from anything else Parker is known for doing (“Sexy in the City”) that I have to remind myself it’s here. She is able to be charmingly dimwitted and absent minded in a way which is absolutely gut busting. There is this wonderful physical and almost airy quality she brings to the part which pulls you in, the way she moves and plays with her beloved boys. But Parker - like the other Sandersons - can turn on a dime to an intimidating baddie. She’s - like the others - is incredible.

6) Max Dennison.

This may be blasphemous (I don’t know all the things people love about Hocus Pocus), but does anyone REALLY watch this movie for Max Dennison as a protagonist? I will admit the place where the character ends is something I appreciate a lot (more on that later), but for most of the film? He starts off as kind of a douche bag who acts all macho, thinks he’s too cool for his new town, and is mean to his sister. Almost every other character in the movie is a more interesting potential protagonist than Max to me, which I will say is not the fault of Omri Katz. He actually does the best he can to make Max seem interesting, because I’m aware that he could’ve been a much bigger pain the butt during the movie. But the writing is just not there as we get to know him, even if he does develop nicely by the film’s end.

7) It was at this moment I realized Alison was a much more interesting protagonist than Max.

Max: “But everyone here knows that Halloween was invented by the candy companies it's a conspiracy!”

Allison: It just so happens that Halloween is based on the ancient feast called All Hallows Eve.”

Allison is actually a bit of a missed opportunity, development wise. She has a good understanding of not only the tradition of Halloween but also the Sanderson Sisters, showing a creepy side to a character who does not appear as a stereotypical goth. She’s rich, doesn’t seem to really care for her parent’s fancy Halloween ball, is kind, brave, but we never really explore her that much. I’d love to get to know a bit more about Allison.

8) The inclusion of buttheads Jay and Ice add a nice bit of humor to the film. Yeah they’re jerks, but their idiocy is definitely funny to watch. Don’t take them seriously as bullies or threats and you’ll enjoy their presence.

8.1) So I was looking up the actors who played Jay and Ice and…AH! ICE IS THE SAME ACTOR AS LARRY FROM “Buffy the Vampire Slayer”!

9) According to IMDb:

Charles Rocket [Max and Dani’s dad] acquired a certain notoriety for swearing on live television during the final moments of the 21 February 1981 episode of Saturday Night Live (1975). There's an in-joke in connection to this, where he says to Max, "Watch your language!".

10) Thora Birch as Dani.

Can I just say, Dani is so much more interesting to me than Max. I kinda wish we saw this movie through her eyes. She just brings a smile to my face whenever she’s on screen. Birch plays Dani with such honest enthusiasm and intelligence (not every kid in movies is played as smart, sadly) that it’s intoxicating. She stands up to the bullies and later her first instinct upon the Sanderson Sister’s resurrection is to LIE HER BUTT OFF in an attempt to make them think she’s a witch! HER FIRST INSTINCT! And then later when she finds out this freaky zombie is nice she’s immediately like, “Hi Billy!” so sweetly. I dig that.

11) Ah great, toxic masculinity infecting an eight year old girl.

Dani [after Max says fighting the bullies would’ve gotten him killed]: “At least you would’ve died like a man.”

Sorry, that’s just a personal thing.

12) Um, maybe some fans of the movie know this, but why exactly the Dennison family move to Salem? I don’t remember it ever being mentioned. I’m assuming job opportunity but what job takes you from LA to Salem?

13) Um Max, you’ve know Allison for like a week (maybe a week and a half). Isn’t this a little much?

Max [about Allison]: “Dani, this is the girl of my dreams.”

14) The Sanderson house has this wickedly creepy sense of place to it. You know these guys aren’t supposed to be there, you know that this is a place of evil, so when things start getting weird it’s not much of a stretch to see it happening.

15)

16) So at one point in the movie Allison hits Mary with a frying pan and all I can think of is this:

17) The most fun this movie has is watching the Sanderson Sisters adapt to 1993. Reacting to things like the, “burning rain of death,” (sprinkler system) the, “black river,” (a pavement road) and even the way they run from approaching firetrucks because of the sirens is all a hoot. Like I said, each actress is amazing and they play it so well. It’s a wonderful source of comedy.

18) Thackery Binx.

Jason Marsden is an excellent voice over actor (perhaps best known as Max in A Goofy Movie and Impulse in “Young Justice”) who helps give Thackery a lot of life. This immortal black cat is wonderfully charming, with a compelling wit and sarcastic sense of humor which helps flesh him out as a character. But he also has a lot of tragedy in his life, a real loneliness. Thackery is a unique and fun addition to the film which just works really well.

19) That’s Doug Jones as Billy Butcherson.

Jones is currently one of the most well regarded character/makeup actors in showbiz, with such famous roles under his belt as both Fauno and The Pale Man in Pan’s Labyrinth, Abe Sapein in the Hellboy films, and the creature in the upcoming The Shape of Water. Just thought I’d share.

20) I gotta say, the Sanderson Sisters are a lot more funny to me in my 20s than my teens. The whole bit with the calming circle specifically had me in stitches.

Also this is great.

Girl Dressed as Angel: “Bless you.”

Sanderson Sisters: [Freak out.]

21) This whole bit with the fake cop is kinda clever, but this bugs me.

Cop [after Dani tells him Max is a virgin] Are you a virgin?

Max: Yeah.

Cop: Really?

22) Garry Marshall’s devilish cameo.

While largely (if not exclusively) serving as a distraction from the plot, it just continues the fun of the Sanderson Sisters adjusting to the new world. Garry Marshall’s presence in any film is a welcome treat, especially when he brings along sister Penny. There’s just a great sense of fun here born from the audience being in on a joke the witches are clearly unaware of.

23) Okay, this always bugged me: couldn’t the kids get A LOT of people to believe them if the talking cat explained what was going on?

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

24) “I Put A Spell On You”

This may be the most iconic moment from the film, working primarily because it’s just so freaking fun! The tune is infectious, it carries a delightful Halloween sense to it, and Midler’s vocals are top notch. It’s just FUN and that’s what works.

25)

Winnie [upon seeing a high school]: “It is a prison for children.”

Well she’s not wrong.

26) As a fan of old school Universal Monster movies, I dig this line.

Max [over the high school PA]: “I’m your host, Boris Karloff Jr.”

27) Honestly I think this film’s biggest issue is a structural one. Some gags, while fun, don’t add much to the overall plot. Also the moment of quiet/peace after the heroes think the Sanderson Sisters are dead just messes with the overall flow. The tension never got high enough for it to be effective or earned. It just throws off the momentum I think.

28) Winifred’s Book.

It’s not often that I discuss prop pieces in these posts but Winnie’s book is in a lot of ways a character unto itself. The art design on the piece is absolutely wonderful and just really interesting. You understand it’s not a possession but (largely because of that eye) something a little more intelligent than that. A little more alive than that.

29) As soon as Allison opens the book this is all I can think of.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know]

30) Sarah’s song to lure the children (written by James Horner, not composer John Debny) is wonderfully creepy while also being sweet. It makes sense that it would draw in a bunch of kids but as the audience we can hear the sense of doom it has.

31) So this is a classic case of Villain Stupidity™. Winnie HAS her victory! All she needs to do is give her death potion to one of the countless kids which just appeared on her front lawn but she needs to have her revenge so risks it all (needlessly) to go after Dani.

32) Okay, how does Winnie know enough about modern life to make this joke?

Winnie [pulling up next to Max’s car on her broom]: “Pull over! Let me see your driver's permit!”

33) The film’s climax actually is pretty well done. There is a nice sense of stakes and tension to it. THIS is earned, unlike the school scene. And Max’s decision to drink the potion so he can save Dani is a great character choice, showing how strong his relationship with his sister is and what he’ll do to ensure her safety.

34) Okay, when the sun rises at the end all I can think of is…

35) It may be a little cheesy, but I do really like that this film ends with Thackery being reunited with his lost sister Emily after 300 years. Also his goodbye to Dani is really nice.

Hocus Pocus has become a cult classic for a reason. With three absolutely phenomenal actresses acting as the heart of the film, it has a wonderfully wicked sense of fun to it that works at Halloween. But either you’ll like it or you won’t. There are some problems with structure, focus, and some character development. But honestly I don’t care about those so much because it’s just so freaking fun. It more than makes up for its flaws with a sense of humor and cartoonish mayhem which carries the 90 minute run time well. It’s just a fun Halloween movie which everyone should watch once just to see if they like.

[irregularwebcomic]

[Irregular Webcomic! #4292](https://ift.tt/2Z3M2mz)

A felucca is the traditional wooden sailing boat used along the Nile River as well as in nearby areas in the eastern Mediterranean Sea and Red Sea. Feluccas use a distinctive triangular lateen rigged sail (also sometimes used by the dhows of the Indian Ocean). After coming up with the idea for this comic, I had to[1] check that it is in fact feasible to sail from Al Balyana to Alexandria in under six days. It simply wouldn't do to make this joke and then have someone point out that it's impossible to sail to Alexandria faster than just waiting for the next train. Firstly, how far is it from Al Balyana to Alexandria? Unfortunately, Google Maps doesn't give travel times or distances for travel by river, but it does offer this driving route, which comes to a distance of 749 km. (As well as this walking route, which clocks in at a relatively leisurely 691 km.) The road route doesn't follow the river, but has some deviations which to my eye very roughly match the meanderings of the Nile, so let's assume a rough distance of 750 km from Al Balyana to Alexandria by river. Secondly, how fast does a felucca typically sail? Good question! Unfortunately I couldn't find any completely straightforward answers to this online. The most informative was this reddit thread, asking essentially the same question (albeit with an amusing typo), but failing to give a definitive answer. One important reference that came up is the hull speed of a water vessel. This is a speed defined as being that at which the length of the vessel's bow wave is equal to the length of the vessel's waterline (the length of the vessel measured at the horizontal line defined by the surface of still water as the vessel floats). The bow wave of a boat is generated by the prow of the vessel pushing through the water, and because it is forced by the boat it necessarily has a wave speed equal to the speed of the boat. Fluid dynamics tells us that the wavelength of a water surface wave is proportional to the square of its velocity:

wavelength = K × (velocity)2

So:

bow wave velocity = √(wavelength / K)

Setting the wavelength equal to the vessel's waterline length gives:

hull speed (by definition) = bow wave velocity (when wavelength = waterline length) = √(waterline length / K)

hull speed = k √(waterline length)

where k = 1/√K is just another constant. This constant k is typically given as 1.34 when the waterline is measured in feet and the vessel speed in knots. This corresponds to 1.25 if the waterline length is in metres and the speed in metres per second. Now, all we've done so far is define what the hull speed of a water vessel is. The actual speed of a boat also depends critically on how much power is being applied to propel it forwards, whether that be by means of an engine, a sail, or rowing (or indeed quanting, or being towed by draft animals). Simply put, the more power, the faster the vessel goes. Where the hull speed comes in is in figuring out how much resistance to motion the water offers. At low speeds, when the bow wave length is very short compared to the vessel's waterline length, the water resistance is fairly constant. To figure out the relationship between motive power and water vessel speed, I tried a quick Google search, but didn't turn up an explicit equation, so I turned to one of the best resources available for calculating this sort of thing. Yes, you guessed it: GURPS Vehicles.[2] Page 131 of this roleplaying game sourcebook has this formula:

top water speed = 6 × ∛[(aquatic motive thrust) / (hydrodynamic drag)] miles per hour

where

hydrodynamic drag = ∛(loaded weight - contragravity lift)2 / (hydrodynamic lines)

where (hydrodynamic lines) is a constant ranging from 1 for unstreamlined (e.g. a log) to 10 for average boat lines to 20 for very fine streamlining, plus 10% for a trimaran or 20% for a catamaran.[3] So, I'm willing to believe that—essentially—the top speed of a surface water vessel is proportional to the cube root of the thrust. But I still wanted to check if such a relationship can be found elsewhere. The best I could find was this (public domain) graph of power versus speed for a displacement hull from Wikipedia's page on Wave-making resistance: A quick and dirty measurement of points on the curve, plugged into a spreadsheet, then taking logarithms and plotting to find the slope, gives a value of around 2.7-2.9 for the power law exponent. This is of course a bit rough, but is within spitting distance of a cubic relationship, which gives me more confidence that GURPS Vehicles is correct to at least a first order approximation. Good. Now, the hull speed comes about as a concept because when the boat is going fast enough to create a bow wave whose wavelength begins to approach the length of the waterline, you start to get some additional drag effects. Importantly, if the bow wave wavelength grows to 2/3 the waterline length, then the bow is sitting on the crest of the bow wave, while the stern of the boat is 1.5 wavelengths behind, in the next following trough. This adds turbulence because the stern of the boat also produces a wave system, and being in the bow wave trough causes constructive interference, increasing the energy lost into the water. If the boat powers through this up to the hull speed, the bow wave wavelength now equals the waterline length, and the bw and stern both sit on a wave crest. This is actually the least efficient mode for propelling a simple displacement hull (as opposed to a hydrofoil), and the amount of power required to go any now faster climbs steeply. But if you simply apply MOAR POWER, you can continue to make your boat go faster. Eventually the bow wave wavelength approaches 1.5 times the waterline length. Now the bow is sitting on the bow wave crest, while the stern is sitting down in the immediately following trough, which means that your boat is now essentially moving uphill along the water surface. As you might imagine, this makes it even more difficult to propel the boat, compared to along a nice flat water surface. MOAR POWER!!! will break you through this regime, into the zone where the bow wave wavelength is significantly greater than the vessel's waterline length. Now the boat is what is known as planing across the water, and in this zone efficiency increases again. This (public domain) image from the US Naval Academy Engineering 400 Class, Chapter 7. RESISTANCE AND POWERING OF SHIPS (P. 7-17), as available in Wikimedia Commons, illustrates the principle: So, in short, the hull speed is not a maximum theoretical speed for a boat, but rather a speed around which it becomes very inefficient in terms of its power to speed ratio. Well above the hull speed, that efficiency returns. But for a standard displacement hulled sailing vessel, gaining enough power to break through the hull speed regime is always going to be difficult at best. Modern racing yachts and sailing dinghies can be designed to facilitate planing, but traditional sail-powered vessels such as feluccas are essentially limited to their hull speed as a maximum speed. So what is the hull speed of a felucca? This first hand account says Nile feluccas range from about 15 to 30 feet in length. That gives them a hull speed of from 5.2 to 7.3 knots, or 9.6 to 13.5 km/h. If we assume that the winds are good and our felucca can make top speed, that gives us a total sailing time of 55-78 hours to cover the distance from Al Balyana to Alexandria, depending on the length of the felucca. So if we sail 10-13 hours a day, you can indeed make the trip in 6 days! If the owner only pulls to shore to sleep for 8 hours and sails for a full 16 each day, you can make the distance in 6 days at the relatively leisurely speed of just 7.8 km/h (or 4.2 knots), which should be doable. Moreover, these are the theoretical speeds of a felucca relative to the water. The Nile flows downstream, from Al Balyana towards Alexandria. Even just holding onto a log, you would drift downstream and travel all the way eventually. So you can also add the speed of the water flow to the speed of the boat relative to the land. So a bit more research is required for our full answer. Again, I didn't find any really good references for how fast the Nile flows. But I did find some stuff mentioning that the speed of rivers is highly variable, of course, depending on the terrain they are flowing over. But a reasonable speed for a large river is somewhere from 0-3 m/s, which adds anywhere from 0 to 10.8 km/h to our felucca speed. If we say the average speed over the length of the Nile between Al Balyana and Alexandria is 5 km/h, this makes our felucca speed anything up to 18.5 km/h, which can cover the distance in just 40.5 hours.[4] I really don't think a felucca would average a speed that high in practice, but even our previous high estimate of 78 hours sailing time makes it not unreasonable for our felucca owner here to state that he can get the Joneses to Alexandria in 5, maybe 6, days. And so, the joke in this comic is valid. [1] For some definition of "had to". [2] For those not in the know, GURPS is a roleplaying game system, in the next tier of popularity down from the one occupied solely by the genre-defining behemoth that is Dungeons & Dragons. In contrast to the relatively high level of abstraction in Dungeons & Dragons, GURPS is known for being much more simulationist and realistic. Its sourcebooks are often cited for the depth and accuracy of their real world research, backed up by extensive bibliographies.[2a] GURPS Vehicles is without a doubt the pinnacle of this approach to gaming. It includes very detailed rules for designing almost any sort of vehicle you can imagine, from dugout canoe to faster-than-light spaceship, and then deriving all of the important statistics of the finished vehicle from the previous construction steps.[2b] It is uncannily accurate. You can design a horse-drawn cart, a steam locomotive, a modern motor car, a helicopter, or a space shuttle using the known real world parameters for vehicle mass, engine power, and so on, and the included formulae within GURPS Vehicles will tell you the maximum speed, acceleration, cost, fuel consumption, etc, etc, of the vehicle, accurate to within maybe 10% of the real world values. [2a] Also, I wrote a couple of them. And if you buy the PDFs I get royalties. [2b] Obviously the performance of a faster-than-light engine has to be somewhat fictionalised. But you get the point. [3] Yes, those formulae have cube roots in them. And you thought Dungeons & Dragons players were nerds. [4] In fact, just drifting with your log 24 hours a day, you could make it to Alexandria in 6 and a quarter days, which is almost as fast as walking. In fact, in fact, the Joneses could have beaten the next train to Alexandria by walking.