#I am but a simple clown clowning on the clown website

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Actually more on Lance and Hunk being Weird™ as fuck, i am a firm believer in Lance having absolutely shittiest taste in men

[naamahdarling]

Today's medical update, please pardon any weirdness as I am using speech to text, and please excuse how long this is. I put an excellent picture of Fancy at the end for you. Here we go.

The shortest version is that my GP is going to try and centralize this. I have made an appointment for Monday. We are going to start over from the very beginning. New specimens, new cultures, everything.

The long version is kind of wild ride. It's going under a cut

My GP is now telling me that on two of the occasions that I went to Urgent Care or the hospital for a UTI, the records say that I did not actually have one.

This makes no sense whatsoever. I was symptomatic and I could smell it. On both of these occasions, I was told in no uncertain terms that I did have one.

I do not believe I was lied to at either facility. That means the only possibilities are that the testing was done improperly, the results were charted improperly, the records were sent over improperly, or I didn't understand what was being said to me.

At this point, with this absolute clown show that has been unfolding around me, this ridiculous circus where each act is fraught with nonsensical antics even more baffling than the ones before, I am literally unable to come to any conclusions. This is absolutely maddening.

And it's frightening, because there is something wrong, genuinely, and it might be something that they are unable to detect with the methods they are currently using. That's scary for a multitude of reasons, one of which is that they are not going to be willing or able to treat something if they do not think it exists. The other is that it opens the door to the possibility of their being further testing, which makes me violent to even contemplate. I want what is wrong with me to be simple, easy to treat, and relatively benign.

This has been frustrating, and drawn out, and I am sick of it. By itself it isn't enough to completely break me down. It's been almost unbearable when combined with the facts that I have serious concerns about the health of three of my cats, that my father seems to be worsening in his condition, that I have several other medical storylines going concurrently with this one, one of which is extremely stressful and frightening, and that all of this fuckery and running around has caused me to have to cut out most of the very, very few enjoyable and meaningful activities that are present in my life.

It has impacted my ability to be present for my partner, and for my pets, for me to sustain communication and relationships with people who are not my boyfriend or my best friend, and to simply fucking relax.

Also I can't fuck. Like, I know that this is the laugh at horny people website, but that is significant. Receiving not just physical touch but intimate touch is one of the very few ways I have of assorting ownership over my own body at this time.

I feel my identity has shifted from an internally defined "struggling person just going about their business" to an externally defined identity as a patient with a body that is sick and who must now structure their life around the demands of a system that does not care about me in the slightest, even though the providers usually do.

From the outside I know that this doesn't seem that terrible. I've spent the vast majority of this with no pain, and the times I have been in pain haven't crested a 3. If it weren't for the fact that I don't know what it is, it would be relatively trivial!

Unfortunately, because this isn't all I have going on, it's been really fucking things up. I space my appointments out so that I have time to recover between each one. I have PTSD, I have medical trauma, I have emotional reactions after stepping into a medical facility for any reason, and when things go wrong even in a very small way they can be intense. I manage this by allowing myself to have the reaction, experience all of the feelings, and come back to myself. It is a healthy way of doing things. It doesn't work, though, if I'm having to deal with one thing after another and no time in between to recover from it. This is essentially what has been happening to me for 2 months. Appointments, phone calls, messages, fixing mistakes, having to explain my history repeatedly as it gets ever more complicated. There's a lot more to it than just one appointment a week, which is already a lot for me.

I know this is something that chronically ill people deal with all the time, often for years, often for life, but the extent of it is new to me and very difficult to bear. My personality is vanishing under the weight of all of this crap. I do not feel like myself.

So yeah, sorry for rambling so much but this is just been...I don't even have the words to describe it. Nonsensical, but in an unfortunately consequential way. I've been going in circles all this time, apparently.

I don't really expect anybody to read all of this. But if you did, thank you. It means a lot to me. This place, and all of you, function as a sort of pressure relief, and a source of constant, pleasurable entertainment. I know many of you empathize with what I'm going through, and that helps me to feel less alone. That all by itself is so important.

Anyway, here's my cat.

She got to be on the puzzle table and was very smug about it.

[reallygoodplants]

What the recent Parrot Analytics numbers mean

Parrot Analytics wants to measure "Audience Demand". This is not simple streaming numbers, but it is an indicator made up from hundreds of weighted measurements, all smooshed together: streaming numbers, but also fan and critics ratings, download activities, wiki pages, social media buzz - any kind of dataset they can get their hands on.

The metrics are weighted according to how much effort/time they demand - active consumption and creative participation in content are given a lot of weight, merely clicking a like-button or subscribing to updates comparatively less.

Why do they do all this? Because they want to offer a "globally standardized measurement of audience demand for all markets", making it possible to compare content across platforms. Viewership ratings are dependent on many variables and therefore difficult to interpret out of context. PA promises to "value a piece of content or IP with a precise $ value figure for each title, service and market".

In other words, they try to translate viewership ratings, online chatter, revewies etc. into a number that indicates the net worth of a given show. Having this measurement available to us is incredibly valuable, since this is the very thing execs are interested in.

Takeaways:

Since streaming numbers are an important part of the indicator, it tells us that OFMD must have had good viewership ratings. We don't know how exactly it compares to other shows, but we can use it to refute claims that audiences didn't catch on to the show. Clearly they did.

All our noise matters! Blog posts, reddit discussion threads, Wikipedia engagement, TikToks, search engine activities - it all feeds into this metric! Keep doing it and make sure you keep using the full title Our Flag Means Death as often as possible because chances are PA (and similar analytics sites) will measure it.

Keep watching if you can! Doesn't matter which platform - if you don't want to subscribe to Max any longer, watch it on iPlayer, buy it from Prime Video, whatever works for you. PA even measures P2P downloads, just saying.

Our Flag Means Death is worth a lot of $$$. It has the potential to attract, engage and retain subscribers. That's what every streaming network wants. Our clowning is not baseless. Shout these numbers from the rooftops!

Sources:

Learn the methodology behind demand measurement

How Parrot Analytics Measures The Value of Content in the Streaming Era

Disclaimer: I am not in any way an expert on any of this. I just read around on Parrot Analytic's website and I have some experience analysing data myself. If anyone has corrections or additional info, please do share!

[hyperrealisticblood]

do u have any theories on whats going on with wally (besides his autism of course) idk what theories are floating around im curious

wallys autism is not a THEORY it is a FACT OF LIFE (/srs its canonical)

that being said unfortunately im not a big Theory Boy. mostly because my perception of canon gets crossed with my headcanons and anything i say ends up being completely nonsensical </3

however most of my theories on what wallys deal is stem from this post clown made about the themes of welcome home (dont have a link but heres a screenshot)

(sorry for the lack of alt text i do not have it in me to type that all out and i cant copy paste from the source because again. do not know where it is)

"my neighbors are only neighborly until they know im different in a way they can see" and "they know what i am deep down past the bright colors" both make me think wally is hiding his more Freakish attributes out of shame or something similar, not out of trying to hide any malicious intentions. another post that i actually DO have a link for says that wally doesnt do his eye eating thing while people are watching because its "rude", which is backed up by wally only eating the caramel apple in the hidden halloween video when nobody is looking. hes a monster, and hes ashamed of it.

another theory i have: wally and barnaby are gonna be romantically involved at some point, or in some kind of queerplatonic situationship if youre an aroace wally truther. clown said here that theres a canon ship he cant reveal because it gives away plot details (unlike franklydear, which supposedly doesnt) and im certain that if a ship will spoil plot details, it either involves wally, or a character we havent met yet. i used to think this post debunked the idea of them being canon, but now that we know the website claims frank and julie are a couple when we know that isnt the case, him making a point to say that "it says so on the website" makes me think their relationship isnt that simple. it also helps that i have ocs with an extremely similar premise to welcome home who end up romantically involved despite being written otherwise in-universe and wally and barnaby remind me of them lmao

again im not a theory guy so sorry if this is nonsense oops. my expertise is drawing wally and banban kissing on the mouth a whole bunch not theorycrafting. im not Matthew Patthew or Dick Cockturne and i am okay w that <3

also wallys voice actor is a trans man so by default that means hes also trans. thats simply how it works. im not sorry

[sheldoney]

Independent semi-selective Sheldon Cooper RP Blog. Mature themes present. SFW. Written by Penny. If I am not writing for my String Theory loving physicist then you can find me on my Clown Queen @homicidalqueeen

THE ROOMMATE AGREEMENT ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

1. I don't have many rules just one big one. Do not lie to me about your age. If you are underage. I'll block you. Final word. Wanna know mine? Just ask. I am 21+ I only write with those over 21+. Discord is mobile and only available for close friends and mutuals only. If I do hand out my discord I am always invisible or away. Don't take offense. Leave me a message and I will get to you as soon as I see it! I rely heavily on Tumblr IMs for other communication purposes. 2. I AM NOT A THEORETICAL PHYSICIST. I BS MY WAY AND JUST GO BY THE CANON OF THE BIG BANG THEORY. (kinda sorta not really though I am trying to redeem Sheldon as he was treated terribly and portrayed horribly on the show. He said some things I do not condone or agree with according to TBBT LORE. This is not Jim Parsons' fault.) BTW GOOGLE IS MY BEST FRIEND. BTW This is a Jim Parsons appreciation blog also. 3. I DO SHIP SHENNY/ I DO NOT SHIP "CANON" SHAMY BECAUSE MAYIM IS CANCELLED AND I HAVE RESPECT FOR MY FOLLOWERS. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SHENNY AS MOST DO IN THE BIG BANG FANDOM DO NOT FOLLOW THIS BLOG. I WILL ALLOW SUBSTITION FACECLAIMS FOR AMY FARRAH FOWLER BUT I DO NOT SUPPORT OR CONDONE MAYIM'S BEHAVIOR. I ALSO HAVE CRACKSHIPS ON THIS BLOG. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH THEM DO NOT FOLLOW THIS BLOG.I also ship Sheldon and Chemistry amongst Muses. Sheldon Cooper is "canonically" asexual and not interested in coitus. But I do write him differently because this is tumblr dot com and will give OC's or other canon characters a try.I will not be writing smut on here or any s.exual content. I have a separate blog for "spicy" interactions. I will only be giving out the blog to Sheldon's ships. It is NS.FW. Sheldon is not a cheater or your one night stand. Do not assume so. If you would like to pursue a relationship with Sheldon please talk to me about it beforehand. 4. DO NOT TOUCH SHELDON COOPER AT ALL UNLESS YOU KNOW HIM FIRST AND HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR A WHILE ( PENNY CAN TOUCH HIM ) /ANYONE INVOLVED IN A RELATIONSHIP OR PREESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS CAN TOUCH HIM. 5. DO NOT BULLY SHELDON. ROAST HIM. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. HE HAS BEEN BULLIED ALL OF HIS LIFE AND I WILL SHUT THAT DOWN SO FAST YOU WON'T EVEN BLINK. I WON'T TOLERATE IT AND NEITHER WILL HE. 6. I USE XKIT REWRITTEN. I trim my posts, you don't have but I will trim yours. It is just a simple click for me. 7. I am very picky about who I write with. If I like your writing I will follow you. I don't expect a follow back but do know I am interested in plotting something with you in the future. If you don't follow back, my feelings will not be hurt. 8. I have no problem writing in other fandoms. Especially horror/thriller/supernatural 9. I am not always available. Please be patient with me for replies. I do have a life outside of Tumblr. I keep weird hours. If it says I am online, chances are I am not. I am probably by the computer but doing something else. 10. I promise I am friendly, I have just been on this website for a while and dealt with a lot of bullshit, witnessed a lot of bullshit, and roped into a lot of bullshit. I really do not have the time to get involved into Tumblr RP politics. Do not try to involve me in gossip or any of that malarkey, please and thanks. 11. I AM LGBTQ+ MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE LGBTQ+ MY FACECLAIM IS LGBTQ Homophobia, Transphobia, ETC ETC ETC will not be tolerated and you will be blocked if I see it. 12. ICONS & GRAPHICS. My icons are made by @butscrewmefirst and my graphics are made by @villiansrph. Some icons I have gathered from insanejournal and fanpop and altered them slightly. Please do not take them. Thank you. 13. EXCLUSIVE & MAINS. As of right now I have certain exclusive canon characters that I will only write with on this blog. I will not write with any other portrayals of Harley Quinn using Taylor Momsen as their faceclaim or Heath Ledger's Joker. If you would like to be a main or an exclusive in Sheldon's universe please come and speak to me about it.

[gremlin-bear-boi]

→ ℝ𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕤 & 𝔹𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤

______________________________________

𝐌𝐲 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬:

what I DON'T do:

I do NOT accept smut requests or anything that requires assault, rape, pedophilia, zoophilia, and anything that relates to these topics

I do NOT allow any arguments to arise in the comments and reblogs. If there is a certain ship request that you don't agree with, scroll away. I do not want to deal with any arguments dealing with whatever ship you don't like.

I do NOT allow anyone to fetishize my works. I don't care if you are not interacting but just reading you still are fetishizing my work if you think about it that way. Like I said, I won't write smut. I'm a minor, you dimwits.

I do NOT want any sexual comments, or interaction going on with my works. Sex jokes are fine, but if it is intended, I will report and block.

I do NOT write for problematic characters. If the character has committed sexual assault or is a pedophile (I'm lookin' at that one clown looking ass character from HxH) I will not write.

______________________________________

what I DO do:

I write fluff and angst. I will write dark stuff if it is only in the past.

I write male reader and non-binary reader only. No female readers, sorry gals.

I also write stuff like drabbles and headcannons, so stay tuned for that.

And as always, I just got into writing so if there are any spelling or confusing sentences that don't add up, please tell me. I would love to improve my writing skills so I can finally pass my fucking essay writings.

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𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬:

For requests and asks that wants to add a plot, please put the plot line in your ask before sending it so I will know your preferences. Simple requests and asks, for example:

Hitoshi Shinsou x punk!malereader pls

I will come up with my own plot or headcannons. If I use from other writers, I will credit them. So, when the request or ask is sent, please don't add pressure to me because I too am human and have a life outside this website. I also draw stuff so you guys can request me to draw stuff too whenever I have art block.

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[omegawolverine]

DAMIEN!!!! HIYA MAN!!!!! it's been awhile... i hope you've been doing well or at least are chugging along :]..... i come to you because i realized you have changed to a welcome home theme and i just needed to say something because oh mein gott... i found the project because of night mind's video and it is so Delightful and AMAZING to see a project with as much clear love, talent, and passion put into it as this one, not to mention how well done the horror and puzzles have been so far—i am so. Extremely Excited for wherever it's gonna go (though i will have to force myself to be patient for updates 😭😭)

SO!!!!! please tell me, what are the things about welcome home that interest you the most? any general thoughts or ideas or theories about, well, anything at all? id love to hear anything you have to say, no matter what those may be :D!!! WAAAUGH!!!!!!!

HIIII CALLI HIHIHI :3 i also found welcome home through night mind (as i imagine many others have, ive noticed a sudden influx of fan content in the following days of nick's video and subsequent streams) anyways i am also so very excited to see what clown has in store for us!!

as for the things that interest me most about welcome home, it is definitely the aesthetic of it (horror and puppets and bright colors...some of my favorite things) but also i really like how the mystery has been set up so far! like how all the little clues have been hidden is so cool to me especially bc this is like. the first time ever that my dumb brain has actually been able to comb through a website and find stuff myself without relying on others to show me stuff. like. for as much as i love content like args, interactive horror stuff, etc. im reallyyyy bad at actually participating or searching for stuff and it usually makes me lose interest but so far it's been simple enough that i can enjoy it and still be surprised but also not feel dumb if i miss a couple things bc im finding Most of it myself for once, ya know? i don't rly have any theories so far, i think it's too early for that (for me at least) cause i think if i were to try and theorize rn id probably miss the mark by a lot 😭😭 rly the only thing i even wanna theorize about rn is who tf those girlies r in that one pic with julie like there's 3 of em with her and they're like green blue and orange i think and oh. oh i love their designs so much i wanna know them...

anyways!! pls tell me ur own thoughts and theories and whatnot im sooo curious :0

[angesirene]

♡

[devildomwriter]

Obey Me As Tumblr #5

Satan: Using Microsoft word

*moves an image a mm to the left*

All text and images shift. Four new pages appear. Paragraph breaks from Union. A swarm of commas buzzes at the window. In the distance, sirens.

•

Asmodeus: Just learned that my “pupil” is a muscle and that means that fact about your eyes dilating when you see someone you like actually means that you’re subconsciously and uncontrollably flexing at your crushes whenever you see them

Mammon: Kind of like a butthole!

Asmodeus: Thanks

•

Leviathan: My stomach growled super loud in French omg

Leviathan: I would like to clarify my stomach did not speak French. It growled in French class I apologize

Satan: Bonjour

Beelzebub: Le growl

Diavolo: Hon hon hon feed me a baguette

Lucifer: Why do I even go on this website

•

Solomon: My friend who works with clowns says that mimes came first so technically clowns are just scene mimes

Satan: Your friend who works with clowns

•

Mammon: How can lawyers argue without crying?

Satan: I am a lawyer and let me tell you it gets like super close dude

•

Simeon: You know that little sea bug with the stupid hands and it has a home but it changes homes sometimes because it gets too big for it?? What is it???

Barbatos: Hermit crab??

•

Belphegor: As a college student my favorite words are “cancelled” and “free”

Satan: Free pizza is cancelled

Beelzebub: Why would you even say something like that?

•

Simeon: Don’t feel bad if you’re sensitive to negative feedback because apparently after one particularly bad review Hans Christian Andersen was found just sobbing while laying face down in the dirt

•

MC: Ways to look more angelic

• carry flowers everywhere

• Pink or gold eyeshadow

• Wear long ankle dresses

• Soft humming

• Have a pink glowy blush

Raphael: • Wield a flaming sword

Leviathan: • Be covered in eyes

Simeon: three pairs of wings

Mammon: Wheel

Michael: Announce your arrival by screaming “FEAR NOT!” everywhere you go

•

Mammon: Anyone down to take couples counseling and see at what point the therapist realizes we do the even know each other?

Leviathan: Idiots to lovers, 20k words, angst with a happy ending.

•

Satan: Sorry I have bubonic plague I can’t hang out tonight

Solomon: Aw rats

•

Satan: My favorite thing to do when someone asks me to perform a simple task is to say “No” while doing it.

Belphegor:

Someone: Hey, can I borrow a pen?

Me, getting a bag of pens out: Absolutely not, perish

•

Satan: 8 years old. College reading level. The weight of the world is on my shoulders.

Leviathan: 20 years old. Illiterate, the weight of the universe has given me chronic back pain

•

MC:

Mosquito: *about to bite me*

Me: umm I have a boyfriend

Asmodeus: *little giggles* daddy’s the only one allowed to put their mouth on baby girl - baby girl

MC:

Me:

Mosquito: yikes

•

Satan: Throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up

Solomon: Throwing handles at people who need to get a grip

Leviathan: Throwing refrigerators at people who need to chill

Mammon: Throwing scissors at people who need to “cut it out”

Diavolo: Throwing clocks at people who need to get with the times

Beelzebub: Throwing matches at people who need to get fired up

Belphegor: Throwing a brick at someone to kill them

•

Mammon: Idk how I’d survive without water

Barbatos: You wouldn’t

Mammon: Haha. I feel like that sometimes too. Glad someone loves water as much as I do :)

•

Leviathan: My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke with my family

Leviathan: They seem like nice people

•

Mammon: What is it called when you kill a friend?

Mammon: Homiecide

Lucifer: Murder

Mammon: Homiecide

Last • Next

[liltaz-asatreat]

Day 2 of @blupjeansweek : Clown

Got a reference for the clown routine from the YouTube video on this website here

You can also read it on ao3!

~

Barry Accidentally Joins the Circus

“Lup, why am I here?” Barry whispers, trying to keep the nervousness out of his voice, though he's sure it wouldn't fool her at this point now that they're 63 cycles in. “Why couldn't Taako go with you? You know he's much better suited for this than I am.”

“He's got a bad cold, and he needs to sleep it off,” Lup whispers, waving her hand toward him in a slightly dismissive way. “You'll be okay, don't worry. We'll be in and out before anyone notices we're not supposed to be here.”

“Lup,” Barry says in a more distressed tone, “we're dressed like clowns.”

“Yeah, and there's enough clowns in this circus that we'll blend in with them just fine. We don't even have to worry about performing! This plan is fool proof.”

The two of them are having this quiet conversation behind one of the caravans parked outside a massive circus tent, and they are, in fact, dressed in very conspicuous brightly colored fashion with colorful wigs and red clown noses. Complete with a face full of make up that Lucretia had a lot of fun painting on them and big clown shoes that Barry is having a hard time walking in. The plan is far from fool proof as far as he's concerned. It sounds simple enough that all they have to do is infiltrate the circus grounds and find the Ring Master's caravan to steal the Light before running back to the ship, but he still feels like something major is going to go wrong. The first concern being that, as they are dressed as performers, they're still going to be dragged into the ring, and the second being that they're going to notice two extra clowns wandering around outside of the tent and into random empty caravans.

This is a bad plan, but he trusts Lup knows what she's doing as she and Taako had traveled with circuses before when they were kids. He just doesn't trust what he's doing which is why he's a little salty that Taako got sick right before this heist.

Lup turns to quickly tap him on the shoulder and points forward to a large and ostentatious looking caravan parked on the opposite side of the circus grounds. “There! I'd bet anything that's the Ring Master's wagon!”

Barry just nods, his stomach clenching slightly. “Right.” He looks around cautiously at the area between them and that caravan. There's a few people running in and out of the back of the tent and around the different wagons, no doubt grabbing things and setting things up for the show to continue. “Right,” he says again, tensely. “And all we have to do is walk over there like we belong here.”

“Exactly!” Lup says brightly. She turns her head toward him and bumps her large clown nose on him as she gives him a quick kiss on his cheek. “Are you ready?”

“Y-yeah.” No he absolutely is not.

“Alright! Show time!”

The two of them step out from behind the caravan and walk briskly toward the wagon Lup pointed out. Barry's heart thunders in his ears as he tries to not look around too much or act at all suspicious. They make it halfway there when someone runs up to him and taps him on the shoulder. “Hey! I need you to stop for a second.”

Barry stops and turns to see it's one of the clowns that actually works here. He seems panicked and slightly winded. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Lup continue walking at a little bit of a brisker pace. He knows the most important thing is for them to get the Light, and if their cover is about to be blown, she needs to get there as fast as possible. But he still feels slightly annoyed that he has to deal with whatever this situation is by himself.

“Gerald just got sick, and we need someone to fill in for him in five minutes. Do you know the routine after the tigers?” The clown asks hurriedly.

Would it be incriminating if he said no? “Um, sort of?” Barry says. Maybe if he sounds unsure, it won't blow their cover completely, but it will also prevent him from having to do what he knows this clown is going to ask of him next.

“That's good enough for me.” Damn it.

The clown grabs his arm and drags him into the back of the tent. There's people rushing around here too, grabbing props, warming up, and setting stuff up. They pass by a cage with some monkeys fighting over a banana as they go deeper into the area off stage. Please, Lup, bust him out of here before he actually has to do anything.

The clown leads him to a small stack of props, a stool, a couple of short tubes, three small rectangular pieces of painted plastic, some colorful rings, and a few balls. Then he turns to him and says, “Okay, here's the quick run down. I'm going to run into the ring with two of these rectangles and one of these tubes, and I'm going to put the tube laying down between the rectangles and balance on top of the top rectangle.” He puts the tube between the rectangles on top of the stool and rolls the top rectangle side to side. “Then you're going to pretend to push me off, and I'll fall to the floor with my feet up. You put the rectangles and tube just like that on top of my feet, and balance on top of it for a few seconds.”

Barry whips his head around to look at him. “You want me to do what?”

The clown gives him an annoyed expression. “You're going to balance on top of the tube on top of my feet. Then you're going to hop down, I stand back up, place the rectangles and pipe on the ground, and then prepare myself for you to do a handstand on my hands so I can carry you upside down and balance on the pipe where we'll work together to get you to sit upright on my shoulders.”

This is so something Lup would kick ass at and not something a 55-year-old non-acrobatic human with back issues is capable of doing well without prior practice.

“And now, lets give a warm welcome to our very own clown acrobats!” Someone announces from inside the ring, and the crowd goes wild as silly but intense performance clown music starts to play.

“Okay, we don't have time! I'll tell you the rest of the routine as we're up there, go go go!” The clown pushes him out toward the ring, and Barry stumbles into the spotlight, the clown right behind him.

The clown runs up and plops the rectangle sandwich on the ground and jumps on top with his hands high in the air. He's smiling as he gives a barely noticeable pointed nod in Barry's direction. Fuck him running, he's really going to have to do this. He runs up and pushes the clown slightly, and the clown falls dramatically forward, catching himself with his hands and lowering himself safely to the ground as he puts his feet in the air. Barry picks up the rectangle sandwich and places it carefully on the clown's feet. He takes a deep breath and steadies the top board before he puts one foot on, then the other. He wobbles with his hands splayed out to the sides and looks up at the audience who whistle and clap. He gives a nervous smile before hopping backward. He stumbles and almost lands on his butt, but he catches himself and takes the rectangle sandwich off of the clown's feet who stands up and motions for Barry to put it back on the ground. He obliges and looks at him for instruction, and unfortunately, he points back to himself before kneeling on the ground on his knees and puts his hands up above his shoulders like two platforms. Promising support for a handstand that he's only ever had to do on the ground, not on someone's hands.

Barry gulps and walks over and grabs his hands, suddenly very aware of how sweaty his own hands are. “What do I do now?” He whispers, and the clown sighs.

“Put your head down against my neck jump up into a handstand, and as you're going up, we're going to move our arms around so that I'm supporting you with my arms outstretched to the sides.”

Wonderful.

Barry does as he says and puts the back of his head against the clown's neck, and he kicks his legs up as hard as he can. The clown leans forward in shock a little, but he moves their arms as Barry struggles to keep his legs straight and in the air without falling backward over him. The clown stands up and yells before walking over to the rectangle sandwich. He steps on the one side of the top board that is leaning against the ground and takes a beat before stepping on the other side to get him up in the air and rolling on the pipe. Barry closes his eyes as he struggles to keep from falling and starts praying to Pan and every other deity who may or may not exist in this plane to help him through this until Lup quickly finds him again and saves him from this.

Suddenly, the clown starts lowering his arms and him down with them, and Barry remembers him saying earlier that he was supposed to sit on top of his shoulders after this. He opens his eyes in panic as he tries to carefully bring his legs down slowly while the clown raises their arms up, and he does manage to fully make it onto the clowns shoulders. However, the clown does stumble off the platform and almost sends Barry toppling forward and off him. He catches them though, and he lets go of Barry's arms and raises his own in the air and to the side in a congratulatory gesture. Barry copies him while the clown grabs onto his ankles and lifts him slightly.

Does he expect him to jump off?

Barry takes a second too long deliberating about that decision before the clown pushes him upward a little more aggressively, and Barry falls forward. There's a chorus of ooohs as the crowd reacts to that less than stellar display. The clown looks at him reproachfully as he stands up, and he hurries over to him and whispers, “Grab the pipe, and bring it to the stool. There's a board on top of the stool that you need to put on top of the pipe before you jump up and balance on it from side to side.”

“Can't you be the one who does that?” Barry hisses with out thinking, and the clown looks at him exasperatedly.

“That's basic shit! Are you new?”

“Yes?” Barry says tentatively.

“Out of everyone I could have picked,” the clown mutters and rolls his eyes before pushing him toward the rectangle sandwich.

Barry grabs the pipe as the clown grabs the boards, and he looks around to see the stool someone must have brought out during their handstand performance. He takes a second to scan the audience and the curtains in vain, but he doesn't see Lup. The clown motions for him to follow him, and he does so up to the stool where he picks up the board and puts the pipe underneath it. He rolls it from side to side for a few moments to get a feel for it before he climbs onto the stool itself first. He sways a little as the backs of his large clown shoes are hanging off the edge of the stool before he tries to climb on top of the top board. The pipe shoots out from underneath him, and he falls off the stool, hitting the ground with a loud thud. The audience boos, and the clown runs up to him, looking furious.

“Go in the back, find the jump rope, and come back out here while jumping rope. I've got this.” He motions angrily at the stool.

“Okay,” Barry says, his voice shaking slightly. Jumping rope he can do. Just please gods above let Lup be almost done.

He jogs back behind the curtains, and everyone stares daggers at him as someone forcefully pushes a jump rope in his hands. He mutters a quick, “Thanks,” before rushing back out into the ring.

The clown is balancing on top of the pipe and stool, and he glances back at Barry as Barry begins to jump rope forward toward him. When he reaches him, the clown whispers, “Give me the rope, stand there and point to me like you're proud of me and make sure the audience's attention is on me, then go back and grab the rings. Once you come back with the rings, toss them one at a time with both hands to me, and I'm going to toss them back to you as we juggle together. Think you can manage that?”

“I– Yes,” Barry mumbles before handing over the rope. He stands to the side and points up to the clown with an exaggerated smile on his face, and the clown swings the rope around really quickly before he starts jumping rope on top of the platform. Barry stands there mesmerized for a second before he shakes his head and runs back out of the ring. He grabs the rings and hurries back to see the clown throw the jump rope to the side and raise his arms in the air looking for praise, and the audience claps and cheers.

Barry takes up position to the side of the stool, and the clown turns toward him expectantly. He separates the rings into two bundles, and he starts throwing them at the clown. This slight of hand of being able to throw one at a time while still holding onto a bundle in the same hand is difficult, but while the throws are a bit messy, learning card tricks with Merle is helping him a lot in this endeavor. The clown catches them a little sloppily and tosses them back, and over all, the juggling seems to be going a little okay. Barry only drops one every once in a while, but he's able to pick it back up again surprisingly quickly. He smiles a little in relief. Maybe this isn't so bad.

The clown starts catching them, and as Barry throws the last two rings, the clown says quietly, “I'm going to juggle these into the air, if I drop one, throw it back to me. Then when I've juggled them twice and raise my arms to get applause, take the rings from me. Then come back with the ball spinning on your finger.”

“Got it.”

The clown throws the rings up in the air, one at a time in each hand, and he juggles them for a few seconds before he starts trying to catch them. He loses one though, and Barry runs to catch it before tossing it back to him. Then he does it again, but he manages to catch all of them this time. He raises his arms in the air, and the crowd claps and cheers. Barry runs up to him, grabs the rings, and runs around him back behind the curtains where someone greets him with the ball. A flash of fire catches his eye, and he turns toward it hopefully, but it's gone within a second.

Barry walks back out into the ring with the ball spinning on his finger. The crowd claps for him as the ball begins to wobble and slow down, but the clown, now on the ground, quickly grabs it from him. He then walks back to the stool, takes the top rectangle off, and hands him the pipe. “I'm going to balance on this,” he gestures to the ball, “and you're going to take that and the jump rope back before bringing out two more balls, and there's a ball of light in the very back corner. Grab that too.”

Barry starts a little at that. “There's a ball of light back there too?”

“Yeah, it's a new thing the Ring Master found and is really excited abou–”

And it's just at that moment when a loud explosion coming from behind the curtains rings through the tent. The crowd screams and starts running for the exit as flames climb up the curtains and start to set the outer tent ablaze. Barry drops the pipe and sprints out of the ring. It's chaos behind the curtains. There are as many people fleeing the scene as there are people rushing toward the fire. To do what? Barry isn't exactly sure. But he can hear spells firing, and he surmises that whatever they're doing, it isn't good.

He pushes his way through the crowd and finds Lup running through a tear in the tent as spells fly past her. “I've got her! Take care of the tent!” Barry yells at the mob as he pushes his way past them and through the tear too.

It looks like his ruse worked a little bit as half of the people who were fighting their way toward her don't follow him, but there's still four or five people on their tail. Lup glances behind her and grins when she sees him. She slows down a little and grabs onto his arm before saying, “New spell I've been working on.” She points her wand to a space in front of her and mutters a few words before a rift opens up, showing the back side of one of the wagons.

They run through it, and Lup grabs his arm and pulls him back up against the wagon as the rift closes behind them. She puts a finger to her lips, and they listen to the people screaming and shouting and the flames roaring behind them. A group of people come close to the wagon, and they can hear them debating about which direction they should go to find the two of them before they split up and run in different directions. None of them notice them pressed up against the wagon.

Lup smiles devilishly at Barry. “Got the Light,” she says as she opens her bag to show him. He looks down at it with a small smile as she quickly shuts it again, so it doesn't give away their position. “Also, I got to see the last bit of your performance.”

Barry blushes and looks away from her. “I probably could have done better if I had known what to prepare for.”

“No, you did great! I didn't know you could toss rings like that, babe.” Lup says genuinely.

Barry smiles and looks back up at her. “I guess that part was pretty okay. I did fall off the stool though when I was trying to balance on the pipe.”

Lup nuzzles her face against his neck. “Can't blame you for that, but I did hear the crowd cheering before that, so you must have done some other pretty cool things.”

“Yeah, I guess managing to do a handstand on someone else's hands while they balanced on the pipe was pretty cool.”

“You're a genuine acrobat! Maybe the circus is your true calling.”

Barry laughs quietly and kisses her on the top of her head. “While that may have been a cool moment, I can guarantee you I'd much rather remain a scientist.” Lup laughs quietly too, and it warms his chest. “Come on, let's get back to the Starblaster before they find us.”

[kindahoping4forever]

This year I’ve spent more time with all of you than I have with my own family. This fandom isn’t always easy, this website isn’t always functional and this year was impossibly difficult for reasons both global and so personal I don’t want to get into. Under the cut, there are some people I want to individually mention but I know sometimes these posts are basically the equivalent of reading someone else’s yearbook messages so I wanted to give a blanket thank you up front. If you’re reading this, it doesn’t matter if we’ve talked or not, if you are on my blog, you made this year bearable for me. You helped this place feel like home, you helped me feel like I had support and as trivial as this whole thing is, you helped me feel like I had purpose in a year where I literally sat alone in my bedroom all day everyday. Yes, I wish 2020 had been different and god I hope 2021 is better but regardless of all that, I know I have a place here and that gives me more comfort than I could ever put into words (and by now, y’all know I love words). If you’re reading this, thank you.

To my anons, whether you were a regular (SAB and my 🍒 friend, I hope you’re well) or a just a passerby, whether you address me as Tater Tot, Main Crystal, Historian or an all caps MA’AM, whether you’re screaming at me about a fic, something Ash just posted or an interview from 3 years ago that you only have a vague recollection of but need to discuss - I’ve had an immeasurable amount of fun with you. Thank you for wanting to talk to me.

To the regulars in my inbox like @ivebeenasleepsolong , @fedorable-killjoys , @ashtcnirwin, @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @roarformeprettylion @spicycal @ashtonlftv and many others (some it won’t let me tag and some I haven’t seen around in a minute and the Tumblr folder in my email is only scrolling back so far on mobile smh) - I always appreciate seeing a familiar face (? you know what I mean lol) in my notifications and again, thank you for wanting to talk to me.

In that regard, even if we haven’t talked and you just like or reblog posts, I do notice the people who are consistently popping up in my notifications and appreciate your presence. I won’t shout you out in case you’re lurking on purpose (lol) but I just wanted to mention I value you in our little community.

@sadistmichael @sexgodashton @irwinkitten @suchalonelysunflower @mymindwide @justhereforcalum @oldmes @loveroflrh You’ve all been so generous and encouraging when it comes to my writing and I genuinely cherish every piece of feedback you’ve given me. 

Anyone who has read or supporting any of my fics this year, I can’t thank you enough. Before this year, I’d never publicly shared anything I’d written nor did I plan to. I haven’t worked since March and writing is now how I fill my days, I can’t imagine what I’d be doing without it so thank you for indulging me, encouraging me and occasionally screaming with me. 

@wastethen8 We talk more on other socials than we do here now lol. I'm always so happy to hear from you whether it's about something fandom related we're excited about, a tiktok trend (😁), a song you're learning (💙) or a silly story about your life. Sorry for occasionally ghosting you when I forget to check my snaps lmao. Love you!

@ashtonangst Our meals this year? Sometimes few and far between but ma'am we got fed. I'm so glad to be riding in the superior lane with you. 😌

@notinthesameguey Whether it’s another broke!sos comment, a simple “come get your mans” or something equally entertaining, I adore seeing you in my inbox. (Not to mention the reaction memes omg)

@rebelwith0utacause From discussing 2017!sos to tattoo/pierced!sos to dream cover songs to your contributions to the “Daddy but...” list, any day you grace my inbox is a fine one, Ana. (I still regularly think about that broke!sos essay you sent in lmao)

@ashtonsunshine There’s really only one way I can properly convey my love for you. 

Thank you for your presence in my life. (Yes I am saying this to both the picture and to you 😂💙)

@karajaynetoday If we’re being honest (like pizza), we have been through so much in such a short span of time lmao. Thank you for your friendship, your kind heart and the Aussie snacks. Here’s to being #GirlBosses in 2021. 😌

To my beloved clowns @cashtonasfuck, @pxrxmoore, @feliznavidaddycal Big sigh. Cream Soda. Collarbones. Paying for parking. Auralism. The Cologne Incident. Sprinkle Gate. Water bottles. The Hat Shelf. ****** ****. Our chaos? Unmatched (except perhaps by own Clown King himself). Can you believe there was a time when we thought Ash planting A GARDEN was going to be the most exciting gift he’d give us this year? AND THEN HE MADE AN ENTIRE ALBUM. This year has been unreal in ways both good and bad and I feel like the luckiest clown in the world that I got to experience it with you all. Full send on those vibes, my friends.

@cal-puddies I’m sure everyone on this website is sick of me talking about how much I love you (you might be too, who knows lmao). I’ll keep it brief since I’m sure I’ll tell you at least 5 other times tonight how much you mean to me. I am only making it out of 2020 in one piece because of you. The writing, the clowning, the bad movies, those have all sustained me this year but it’s the knowledge that I have someone unequivocally on my side, that I can talk to about anything at any time that gets me out of bed in the morning (and on the days when I simply can’t get out of bed, you tell me that’s ok and I am also immeasurably grateful for that). I am a better writer from working with you, I am a better person for knowing you. There’s no one I’d rather live in a Cashton AU with, plan to buy an overly ambitious farm with or otter-bond myself to as we float into the unknown waters of 2021. You’re the best bestie.

[puck--off]

Unpacking some of Dave Portnoy’s statements from his video about the NWHL.

I also watched Dave Portnoy’s video and was thoroughly disgusted with just about everything he had to say. I felt like certain things from his video are a little hard to understand if you're not familiar with the context of them. So, I’ve compiled a list of quotes from the interview, as well as my own thoughts on each of the quotes. If you are so inclined, the video can be found on his Twitter. Here we go:

“I didn’t wanna do this and I was thinking I wasn’t gonna do it because most people probably don’t even know what I’m about to talk about is going on. I’ll only draw more attention to it and the people who don’t like us will drag us.” 

He’s right, in a sense. Since he’s Dave, and cishet white men love Dave, a bunch of people who don’t know what’s going on are suddenly going to be invested in what’s happening with the NWHL. However, people who don’t know about the league or the league’s goals are now going to be attempting to occupy and criticize a space that was not made for them, with no knowledge of the contexts of the league culture or values, etc. Dave backhandedly presents this “attention” as a good thing (no surprises there), but it really is not. 

“Three of the top four executives outside of me are female. But we’re sexist. We’re just doing it for looks, just having basically an entire female executive board take us from a small company to one of the most successful media companies in the world, but we’re just doing it for show. Whatever.” 

This, my friends, is called tokenizing. Dave is using powerful women within a company to promote a non-sexist image. What Dave is failing to acknowledge is that part of his own image as a hardcore, blunt personality was built around bashing much younger women. What Dave is also failing to acknowledge is that Barstool, as a whole, promotes the objectification of women! Again, no surprises here. It even has a whole section called “Smokeshow of the day,” which is essentially pictures of attractive women. 

“[Erika is]…probably the number one supporter of a league called the National Women’s Hockey League. You probably didn’t know it existed. The only reason I know it existed—don’t let the headlines fool you—is because 2013, a girl, Denna Laing, got a spinal cord injury playing in the Winter Classic in Boston, and guess what company drew attention to it, raised 100 grand, and brought more attention and more money to the cause? We did. Whatever. I digress. I’m just showing we’ve supported this league before and women’s hockey before.” 

Oh boy. Lots to unpack here. First of all, as a little background, Denna Laing was a forward for the Boston Pride in 2015 when she crashed into the boards during the Winter Classic Game, leaving her paralyzed from the chest down. She’s been working incredibly hard since and regularly updates her Instagram page @/dlaing24, showing her progress. So. Dave got the year wrong. Simple mistake, I guess, but if he really wanted to make it seem like he cared about her or bringing her into the conversation, he would have mentioned the correct year. He also uses her accident as a supposed show of support for both the NWHL and women’s hockey itself, which is yet another example of tokenization. I obviously can’t speak for Denna, but I personally am not happy that he is using Barstool support of one woman’s journey as a claim of support for an entire league and an entire sport. Two asides: Portnoy also called Denna a “girl”—correcting himself after beginning to say “lady”—despite the fact that she is currently 29 years old and was in her mid 20s in 2015. Barstool also has not posted anything about her progress on their website since 2016. Also, downplaying interest in the NWHL is a classic Dave move—pandering to his audience of cishet white men. 

“A player in the league, in the NWHL, said Barstool is ‘white supremacist’ and doesn’t want to associate with us. …You should be in jail for that. Like, to call a company ‘white supremacist’ without a shred of proof because I sang a Ja Rule song five years ago, is that it?” 

No Dave. This is it. Note: The linked article is a very brief summary of racism within Barstool and does include full spelling of the N-word within the context that Barstool used it. Please be warned. Knowing the context of (some of) Barstool’s history of racism, I think Saroya Tinker’s tweet speaks for itself. I will leave things at her words here. 

Also, Dave cannot pronounce “supremacist.” 

After this, Dave makes a lot of petty, immature statements that I won’t bother transcribing, including calling NWHL league management “no-fun-club losers.” 

He also says that he told Erika, “If you want to start your own league and put these fucking clowns out of business, I’m in…all you people who kept your mouth shut can come play in our league. But the white supremacist crap girl and everyone else who talked shit about it, you’re done.” 

Dave Portnoy and Barstool want to start a women’s hockey league that diminishes issues and values that are important to current NWHL players. I hope the NWHL continues to handle this situation and support their players who may be coming under fire for criticizing a truly problematic organization.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

I can help protect you; Scott Lang x child reader

*Author’s note*

Hey all wow it’s been awhile since I posted a fic that wasn’t BoRhap/Queen related but now here I am with a request that has literally been sitting in my phone for almost a year now. For @randomfandoms-k8​ I wanna say thank you for being soooooooooo patient with me. But finally I came down to write your Scott Lang request. I hope you like it and enjoy it :)

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@ixchel-9275​

@platawnic​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@randomfandoms-k8​

__________________________________________________________

Day 143. Sunday afternoon, well technically it’s 11:55am but time seems to go by slowly when you’re under house arrest, in fact time is an irrelevant mesh isn’t it? Wow didn’t know I could go that deep into philosophy.  But anyways it’s been 143 days since I was sentenced to my 2yr house arrest after I sided with Cap back in Germany against Stark.

Honestly, this beats having to deal with prison again, this time it would’ve been in an ocean of solitary confinement.  I would’ve gone mad had I screwed up my chances of seeing Cassie again. She’s helped make this house arrest more bearable and honestly a lot more fun.  But currently her and her mom along with Paxton went North to visit Maggie’s parents who hadn’t seen Cassie in a while.

Which left me here. Alone. With no one to really entertain.  I mean sure Luis and the guys come over every once in awhile but they’re business forming up their own business.  Apparently they’re next bright idea was selling security equipment. Not that I’m complaining at all, they’re good guys to have around every now and then but—they can be a bit much at times.

I know not really making much sense am I? Well that kinda happens whenever you’re stuck in your house all day and night.

Right now it was trash day so I gathered up all the trash and proceeded to head outside to put my trashcan out (as best I could without triggering my ankle bracelet). Now I’m thinking this is gonna be just a simple in and out type situation, as it always is, but as I went out towards the trashcans that I kept in the backyard there was a sudden bang.

At first I thought it was a gunshot but it sounded way to close.  Plus as I looked towards my trashcans, I thought I saw something move behind them.

“Hello?” I called out.  There was another loud bang from behind the trashcans and I continued saying, “Look I’m unarmed. If you want money you won’t find much. But if you just want food, I can give it to you.” yeah I know that was probably stupid of me to say but most of the time you will see some homeless person going through the trash in this part of the city.

Soon coming out from behind the trashcan wasn’t an adult, but a small child.  She appeared to be a couple years younger than Cassie, her (h/c) hair was long and madded like a rat’s nest, and she looked pretty dirty like she hadn’t bathed in weeks, maybe months.  But what shocked me the most was how skinny she looked.  She wore clothes that were twice her size, it was like she was just drowning in them.

“Hey, hey sweetheart.” She backed away fearfully and tried to hide behind the trashcans once more. “No, no, no hey. It’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. See?” he sat down on the ground so that he wouldn’t intimidate her.  Then using one of his new hobbies that he had to learn while in house arrest, he made a fake bouquet of flowers come out from his back.

It peeked her interest as she slowly came out from behind the trashcan.  A soft smile spread across her face.

“Here you know, I think I got something better than what you’ll find in there.” I quickly raced inside and got out the leftover pizza box I had from last night. I took out a single slice of the pepperoni and quickly placed it in the microwave for about 15 seconds before coming back outside.

I sat back down and said to the small girl.

“You like pizza?” she looked at me before nodding softly. “Then have a bite of this. At least here it smells fresh and not mixed in with some other stuff and god knows what else.” The little girl slowly walked towards me, staring at the pizza. She would every now and then look up between me and the pizza. “It’s okay sweetheart, it’s not poisoned or anything.”

I broke off the tip of it and ate it to show her that it wasn’t poisoned or tampered with in anyway.

“See? Just a little hot but it’s all good.” Finally she raised her hands and took the pizza from the plate.  She sniffed it before taking a small bite.  Slowly her eyes widened with pure joy as she continued to devour the pizza. “Whoa hey slow down there kiddo, you’re gonna choke if you just inhale it like that.” I warned her.

She quickly looked up at me before looking down shamefully down, a slight glint of tears forming at the corner of her eyes.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad. I just didn’t want you to choke on it. You can keep eating.” She looked down at her pizza and went back to eating it.

Once she finished it, I took the plate back from her and asked her.

“Was that good?” she nodded. “You know if you’d like, I’ve got some juice or something for you in case you’re thirsty.” She looked up at me with those big (e/c) eyes of hers as she tilted her head to the side.  Oh wow that sounds a little creepy doesn’t it? “I promise I’m not gonna hurt you. I’ve got a daughter just a little over your age and I don’t know maybe you both might like the same stuff. Cause I—can’t really leave the house.”

I showed her my ankle bracelet and she looked down at it before looking back up at me. I held out my hand to her and she looked down at it.

“I promise, I’m not going to hurt you. Do you trust me?” she was silent but I soon saw her reach out her hand and she placed her tiny hand into mine.  I gently closed my hand over hers as I then led her on inside.

Once we were inside, I poured her a glass of apple juice (Cassie loves apple juice) so hopefully this kid loves it too.  As she began to drink the juice, so many questions kept running through my mind. Where did she come from? Who was she? How did she get like this? Where were her parents? Things like that.

Should I call someone? Child services maybe? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll sleep on that for tonight.  Maybe I can get some answers out of her.

“Hey sweetie,” she turned to face me. “Do you have a name? I mean I can’t just keep calling you sweetie, sweetheart or munchkin can I?” at that point she looked down sadly.  Her hands fiddling with the oversized shirt, oh no. Is—is she an orphan? Or, and I pray to God this isn’t the case, did her parents abandon her. “Can you speak sweetheart?”

She shook her head no.  Okay so she wasn’t deaf cause she’s actually responding to me. So was she mute? Or was she choosing not to speak.

“Well, think I should tell you me name first so that way we’re not strangers anymore. I’m Scott. Scott Lang.” I came up to her and held out my hand for a handshake now.  She softly smiled and shook my hand.  

Okay good progress we’re getting there.

“Hey, since uhh—since you can’t talk. How bout I give you a name? Is that okay with you?” she nodded and that’s when I grabbed my phone and went through some websites for the top 100 baby names for girls.  “Okay let’s see, how about…….Belle?” she shook her head no. “Ariel?” again she shook her head. “Don’t make me choose Cinderella.” She then gave me a stank face as her tongue stuck out and I softly laughed. “I’m just playing yah kiddo. Here let’s see what this list has.”

I scrolled through the website trying to find the perfect name for her.  Soon a name that felt like it belonged to her came on the list and I said to her.

“Okay, how do you feel about (Y/n)?” her eyes widened and a smile came across her face as she nodded happily. “Alright, (Y/n) it is then.”

After we settled on her name, I took her up to the bathroom to get her cleaned up (couldn’t let her remain dirty forever right?).  By some miracle I managed to get her once madded rat’s nest of hair under control, and now that she was all clean I got a better look at this little cutie.

She had a little button-like nose, her eyes now sparkled with new life now that she no longer looked like she had a raccoon mask of dirt on her eyelids.

Her chubby cheeks that showed two little dimples whenever she smiled.  She looked like a brand new girl.  Once she was all dried up, I put her into some of Cassie’s old clothes (thank god I managed to convince Maggie to let me do the Good will run. That I may have forgotten to do before I was picked to join Cap’s team in Germany).

By late afternoon, we were now currently watching some cartoons together when I decided that maybe I could make her laugh at something.  Of course she smiled every now and then but there was something in her eyes that really showed me that she was still sad about something.

Being the dad that I am I know I hate it whenever my Peanut is upset, so I make it my life’s mission to always make Cassie laugh at least once a day (once I got out of prison that was).  I got up from the couch acting like I was gonna grab a drink of water but what I was really gonna grab was my magic cards, the eye-popping glasses, and clown wig.

I put the clown wig on as well as the glasses and suddenly jumped in front of her holding out the deck of cards.

“Pick a card, any card!” I proclaimed.  She looked at me oddly but looked down at the deck and picked a single card from the deck. “Memorize the card. Okay now put it back, face down don’t let me see it.” She did as she was told.

I then shuffled the deck behind my back trying to mix the cards up till I thought it was good enough.  I brought the deck back out in front of us and I said.

“Okay (n/n), now I’m gonna brush through the cards and you tap the cushion twice when you want me to stop, K?” she nodded and that’s when I began dealing through the cards.  I heard her pat the cushion and I stopped at the 14th card.  I took it out from the deck and held it in my hand. “Alright, now was this your card?” I turned it over to her.

She shook her head no.  I turned it towards me and saw that it was the Jack of clubs.

“Wait what? Now where did that…..oh man I must really be losing my eyes if I misplaced it.” I then pressed the button on the glasses and soon the eyes on the glasses popped out.

At that point I heard her starting to laugh.  Not giggle, but a real laugh.  Her laughter slowly grew in volume but what was surprising was that I began to see the lights starting to flicker on and off.  As she then let out this one shriek of laughter, the lights suddenly exploded and the entire house went dark.

When the power went off throughout the entire house, to say I was freaked out a bit would be a bit of an understatement.  Now whether I can confirm or deny that I may have shrieked like a girl, I’ll just say I got a little spooked by it.

I looked back down at (Y/n) who was now covering her mouth and trying to sink further into the couch.  Wow, so—she’s like a real life Boo (you know that little toddler from Monster’s Inc.)  (Y/n) has powers.  Oh my god I just took in a child that has powers. Wow never thought this is how my house arrest would turn out.

“That—that was you wasn’t it?” I wanted to confirm it with her.  Cause maybe this could be a hallucination or something. Maybe the power did go off on its owe—oh who am I kidding, it was (Y/n) that did this.  When I saw her nod sadly she got off the couch and solemnly walked towards the backdoor.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa hey. Where do you think you’re going?” I said as I stopped her and knelt down beside her.

Her sad, teary eyes stared right at me and that’s when I asked her.

“Did—did you think I would get mad and kick you out if I found out about this?” she nodded, her eyes refusing to meet mine.  “(Y/n), sweetie I’m not mad. So what if you have powers, it’s cool. That means now I get to nickname you Boo. You ever seen Monster’s Inc?” she shook her head no. “Okay we’ll fix that up. It was one of Cassie’s favorite movies growing up, I think you’ll like it.”

I stroked some of the hair out of her face.  I knew at this rate with her having powers, there was no way I can get Child services involved.  Now that the Accords (still don’t really know the entirety of them all I know is that they’re bad for super heroes) had been finalized, they could take her away to that Raft prison that’s out in the middle of the ocean and lock her up.  But she’s only a kid, she doesn’t deserve that fate.

“Kiddo I’m not mad. In fact can I tell you a secret?” she nodded.  I quickly looked around to make sure we were alone (which made her quietly giggle) I gestured with my finger for her to lean closer as I whispered to her, “I’m a super hero.” Her eyes widened in shock. “Yep. My alter ego, is Ant-Man.” At this point she looked at me confused, “What you’ve never heard of Ant-Man?” she shook her head no. “Alright, well we’ll fix that too.”

I guided her back towards the living room and sat her down on the couch and I sat down beside her.  I gently stroked down her hair and assured her again.

“You’ll be safe here (Y/n). Whatever it was that you had to deal with before, or being rejected or whatever, you won’t have it here. I can protect you. And maybe once my 2 years are up, maybe just maybe……I can introduce you to some people who could help you control those powers of yours.”

Her eyes lit up as her face almost screamed out ‘for real?’

“Yeah kiddo. I promise, no one is gonna hurt you ever again.” At that point she hugged me.  I smiled softly down at her and gently embraced her back.

Call me crazy I know but I can’t kick her back out into the streets. Besides I’ve been experienced to enough craziness already from when I first met Hank and Hope, to fighting alongside Team Cap against Stark, so why not? And like I said, I don’t know what the CS would do if they found out she had powers, either lock or up or just kill her (now that’s messed up but I’m told it happens).

But hey, on the bright side at least Cassie will get to be the older sister she always wished she could be.

[dxsole]

Instructions: Always repost with the rules, answer the 11 random questions left for you and leave 11 more for the people you tag!

TAGGED BY: @theimpalpable // thank you~!! :3

TAGGING (you don’t have to if you don’t wanna!): @mycolovesick​, @qveenspawns, @genrcsavvy, @throwxawayxthexkey, @othrsouls, @cordiibus, @soypeor, @vihilum, @amelorates, @oldmcncy, @theasteriae, and anyone else who wants to do this~! You can tag me!!!

QUESTIONS I AM ANSWERING:

1. What’s your favorite song at the moment?

That changes every week and it’s less a favorite song as it is “one of three songs I’ve put on repeat for the week” but currently it’s XS (feat. Bree Runway) by Rina Sawayama! It’s a mood!

2. Something that makes you really happy, no matter what?

I’m a fairly simple person; I like impulse shopping for cute purses and eating specialty chocolates and painting and being right and getting paid and seeing people walking their cute dogs and watching every episode of Psych for the seven hundredth time. 

3. Something you developed for your muses and are extremely proud of?

Real talk, I’ve done lots of things in terms of proper research for my muses and made fun graphics and even drawn some of them pretty well but I’m slowly trying to complete this personal goal for myself where I create some kind of graphic design project for every one of my ocs and I’ve only done 2 so far (website for Lázaro’s flower shop, logo and stationary branding for Freida’s wedding planning business) but when I say there is nothing more satisfying than showing people the final product and having it in my portfolio, knowing full well it’s just for my oc? Amazing. I’m gonna get kudos and likes and jobs off my ocs and that’s just wild to me. 

4. Besides your muse’s main verse, is there a verse you enjoy developing and why?

My crime au! I just think it’s so versatile and fun and messy! I realize the crime world may be more serious and deadly than what I’m making it out to be but I also love how...absolutely ridiculous I can be with it. Like literally anything goes! I may write a number of my muses as deadly hitmen and serial killers and such but also watching them be absolute morons who commit crimes? Priceless tbh. I love anyone who allows me to add other criminals/criminal organization to the mix? Amazing, I love you all. It’s like Breaking Bad if it was directed by McG

5. Which are your main sources of inspiration when it comes to writing?

I’m not really sure when it comes to my writing actually! Like, I can tell you exactly what song, media source, myth, whatever inspired a single verse or single oc, but when it comes to writing? A lot of my rp partners have helped shaped my technique(?) and how I write and I think I’ve improved a lot thanks to them but also...I’m not trying to improve??? I don’t consider myself a writer and I never will! I am a clown! This whole blog is solely for my own amusement and the development of my ocs as people/developing relationships with my friends! I’m not gonna Hemingway my way through this tbh! I will not finesse my style! I am just here to bother everyone and not take this seriously!!!

6. What movie can you watch over and over without getting tired?

Kill Bill Vol. 1 and Kill Bill Vol. 2. Over and over. Catch me shaking my ass to Run Fay Run by Isaac Hayes....Catch me screaming wildly during the Elle/Beatrix fight scene...

7. Have you eaten anything? Remember to stay nourished and hydrated!

Real talk, I’m the worst at remembering to eat because I get really into my job? I almost passed out once so thanks for this, I’m gonna go get something, pinky promise!  

8. What habit do you have now, that you wished you could’ve started it earlier?

Being able to work in 30 minute intervals. I don’t know how I conditioned myself to do it but I basically sit down and say ‘you’re gonna do as much as you can on this project in 30 minutes’ and I fucking do! It’s actually amazing! I don’t know if the time restraint makes the adrenaline rush and allows me to focus but I can actually do things in 30 minutes. I’ve never been more productive like I am now, I could have used this in college wtf.

9. What trend are you tired of?

In the rpc? Little little icons that are burnt to a crisp. Can’t tell if that’s an elbow or a face hun, please...I am old-ish...other than that, real talk, I’m so uncool I can’t even name a trend in real life. Are we still mad about all the rich folk eating quinoa? Because it’s messing with the indigenous population’s food source? Because I’m still on that fuckery. Is avocado toast a trend? I just don’t care for avocados if they’re not in guacamole.

10. What questions would you like to ask a time traveler from 200 years in the future?

Give me the winning lottery numbers for 2021. I’m not asking. I have family to take care of and dogs to rescue and fucking quinoa to eat apparently.

11. If you could write any other muse, canon or original, who would it be?

I have enough originals (although I’m sure I can pull another one out my ass at any given moment smh), but canon...tbh I WISH I could just rp Shawn Spencer from Psych but I don’t think i could do him justice...the zingers. The wit. He called a man whose name he did not know ‘Baby Thor’. He comes up with new nicknames for Gus in every episode. Knows every single thing about the 80s. Can simultaneously charm and annoy everyone in the tri-state area without even really trying. My idol tbh. 

MY QUESTIONS FOR YOU:

What’s something you find utterly fascinating?

What’s something you irrationally hate for no reason?

What’s one of your muse’s happiest memories?

Which of your characters is the most difficult to write/get into character for?

What’s a specific plot you’ve always wanted to write?

What’s in your perfect sandwich? I may or may not try it out.

What is a food combo that you love but other people might hate?

Which of your characters has had the biggest character development and how have they grown?

Tell me your best joke. I’m not asking.

Who are some rpers that have helped you become a better writer/develop your characters/are generally inspiring? Tag ‘em, spread the love dude.

What’s your current guilty pleasure TV show? 

[bisluthq]

Hi I'm the previous anon back to respond to the reply you got- hope you don't mind!

First of all PLEASE drag me! I literally hate saying the words classically trained and the only reason I phrased it that way is because it's a short and simple explanation and I didn't feel embarrassed by it because of the anon situation. But yes it is 100% pretentious sounding and please know that I know that.

Secondly, you're absolutely right about Taylor's skill level, especially when it comes to piano. My main gripe is with the media and swifties equating his contributions to those of Jack and Aaron who are incredibly gifted musicians (definitely more technically skilled than Taylor herself!) and are out here producing entire albums yet being compared to a cowriter on a handful of songs.

It's the general obsession with Joe and how much everyone (even major media sources) loves to talk about whatever significant other is in Taylor's life at the moment that's at fault here and that's the real center of what I was venting about.

But please I know this all comes off as pretentious and I wouldn't even begin to venture into this territory off of anon to be honest, because yeah it's HIGHLY subjective and I really am just out here clowning and writing my opinions down on this dead website about a celebrity who will never know any of us exist 🤷

Nah I think you’re giving a fair take anon. And like we all get frustrated with the Prince Charming narrative and obsession with her finding a soulmate right we bitch about that on the reg. She did do this to herself lmao but it is annoying af.

[buffyannesummrs]

creator tag game!

tagged by the LOVELY: @thosefunkylittleguys 

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

maggie thank you for tagging me in this 🥺 honestly you and clare were such an inspiration to me to start making content of my own and sharing my thoughts on this silly little website! I literally only started creating content in the past week LOL I am slowly learning to open up and share myself, as silly as that sounds! so I think I literally only have like 5 things to share and all of them are just supernatural parallel edits akjhsjkdfhskl 

1. Buffy “Lover’s Walk” monologue // Supernatural Deancas: this is not so nice to look at because I didn’t edit the screencaps at all and the text is too small LOL but I really love that monologue and I put a LOT of thought and effort into the images selected! ❤️ I feel like this quote really encapsulates like the behemoth of the deancas story: 12 years and such a journey!  Plus it just has such fun Spike phrasing - what’s not to love! I liked the parallels I included in here (purgatory hugs, MWWBK + S15 divorce scenes, starting and ending blood sigils) and how they tied into the quote. I really enjoy the finished product hehe 

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer, “Grave” // Supernatural, “Swan Song”: I mean it’s such a cliche, character breaks free out of mind control / evil  / etc. for love of another character, but it does get me every time. I love this buffy speech so much, it’s really an example of buffy at its best, where a phrase like “crayon-breaking willow and scary-veiny willow” can actually encapsulate so much heart and meaning. I also love the exchange of like “I’ll kill you.” “It doesn’t matter, I’ll still love you.” I felt like it went beautifully with swan song, since that’s really the thesis of dean going to lucifer - no plan, no hope, but where else would he be? I liked this one! 

3. The Haunting of Bly Manor, “The Beast in the Jungle” // Supernatural, “Lost and Found”: my first ever edit! I have not been able to stop thinking about the burial preparation scene since I first watched it, and one day in the shower the bly manor quote popped into my head and bowled me over. it’s very simple but I really like it!

4. Supernatural, “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” // Buffy + Giles: this is definitely my favorite in terms of aesthetics - I actually got photoshop for this one ladies <3 I am still figuring things out, but I do really like how this one turned out with the color grading etc. and this just made my heart SO warm to make. can’t express the amount of times I stopped to sigh with a hand pressed to my heart, “that’s his LITTLE girl!” it was so fun to get caps of baby buffy and giles from the early seasons. the quote is very simple, but I love how it ties to the pieta image of season 5 (will I make a post about buffy as the christ figure and giles as mary….who’s to say) 

5. Buffy Season 6 // Famine’s speech to Dean : oh I do LOVE this parallel. rewatching supernatural with meg recently we watched that episode and as soon as Famine started talking I was just like “HELLO.” I really liked the caps I selected, put a lot of thought into them and really what each one meant for buffy. I have many more posts I want to make in terms of buffy and dean’s character similarities 

oh also honorary mention - the cas confession speech // spike “touched” speech parallel meta I wrote right after the confession aired! it’s just sloppy stream of consciousness but the dots….I was connecting them…….

I have also created some fics but currently those are JUST for me have not been bold enough to put them into the world hahaha. I do love to write and I am pretty proud of them though 

if anyone ever wants to send me buffy or supernatural questions / food for thought so i can continue to clown PLEASE feel free <3 always love to discuss

WAIT I FORGOT TO TAG PEOPLE: @lexaprodyke @lazarusr1sing @effyeffa @jenderossackles @fionaappletini if any of you want to share, please do! <3