#I am about to leave for the antique store though...

[nerdierholler]

7, 30, 41 for the 30+ asks please :)

Ask Meme for People Over 30

7. Any groceries you've been getting into lately?

Since it's summer and sometimes I get tired of drinking plain water, I've been buying juice to just add a splash to my water to give it some extra excitement. Mostly it's been pineapple orange juice or watermelon juice.

30. How many pairs of scissors do you own?

Oh dear, as someone who sews I'm going to have to thinking about this. Let's see... I can think of 7 pairs of scissors off the top of my head that I could locate right this instant. There may be more in weird boxes or drawers that I don't use frequently and have forgotten about.

Sewing: Cheap singers for fabric, fancy ginghers for fabric, scissors for not fabric, snipping scissors, and embroidery scissors.

Not sewing scissors: kitchen shears for food related stuff and all purpose junk drawer scissors.

41. What's the oldest thing you own?

Good question. Most of what I own is pretty new or would be classified as vintage. Probably the oldest things I have a date on are some Christmas postcards from 1909-1910. I also have some Christmas ornaments that belonged to my grandparents. They were given to them after right after WWII when they got married. They were hand me downs from friends and family to get started since there wasn't much new glass production at the time. Some of those might be nearing 100 years old.

Thank you for the ask!

[rangerbarbz]

Serving Up Romance pt. 3

Author's Note: guys this semester has been raw dogging me tbh. curse my damn zoology classes. anyways love being a woman in stem and I love Stan Pines. I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO COME OUT IVE BEEN SO BUSY. ALSO I AM SO HONORED AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THE KIND RESPONSES YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME <3 (If there's typos my bad im running on like 2% capacity and horny)

You couldn’t remember the last time you were this eager to get home. The car ride back to your house was mainly spent in comfortable silence between you and Stan. That was alright, though. His hand was on your knee drawing lazy circles with his thumb while you played with the hair at the nape of his neck. It was pure bliss. 

The radio then started to play a love song that you couldn’t remember the name of anymore. You smiled and began to sing along quietly, tapping to the beat of the song on Stan’s skin. You heard him chuckle. 

“Sorry, I’m doing a drum solo on your neck,” you joked, increasing the speed of your tapping. He grinned, still looking at the road. 

“S’alright.” He then looked over at you fondly. “I like your singing, by the way. Ya got a voice that matches your face” You rolled your eyes playfully. 

“I don’t know about that, but thank you,” you replied. 

You soon saw the familiar opening of your driveway. Stan parked his Diablo behind your car. He then unbuckled his seatbelt at the speed of light and flung open his door. He jogged to the passenger side to open the door for you. He stood with his back straight like he was your bodyguard.

You giggled, stepping out of the car. “You’re real chivalrous, Pines,” you cooed, patting his cheek. 

He winked at you. “I did my homework.” 

“Well,” you stood on your tip-toes to whisper in his ear, “let’s see how you do on the final exam.” You swore you could feel the heat from his blush radiating off him. 

“Yes, well, I hope, I mean- I will pass,” he stammered as you took hold of his hand. You guided him up your front porch stairs to unlock the door. Once you were inside, you both began to kick your shoes off. “Nice digs you got here, doll. I especially like this thing.” He had walked over to your dining table while you were still unstrapping your sandals to pick up a clay structure you had found at an antique store. You weren’t sure what it was, but it was colorful and was a perfect centerpiece. 

You figured he was being sarcastic so you responded, “Aw, leave it alone!”

He looked back at you with a raised eyebrow. “What? I’m being serious. I like art. There’s a reason I’m banned at museums.” You laughed and threw your shoe on the floor. You crossed over to him as he continued to examine it to wrap yourself around his midsection. He hummed and set the piece down to caress your forearms. 

You kissed his back through the fabric of his button-up. “You wanna go to my room?” you asked softly. He turned around and swiftly picked you up, your legs hooking around his waist. Your eyes were as wide as saucers, face beginning to flush. His hands were digging into your thighs to support you; they felt rough against your soft flesh. 

“Where to, sweetheart?” he mumbled, planting kisses on your jawline. 

“L-last door on the right,” you squeaked. He started to walk carefully with you in his arms to your room before laying you down on your bed. His cheeks were tinged a light pink as his lips met yours once again. He kissed you firmly, his forearms bracing himself on either side of your head. You snaked your arms around his torso to pull him closer to you while your tongue slipped past his lips. He tasted like the cheap cigars he got from the Dusk-2-Dawn in town, but you needed to taste more of him. 

Your hands moved to his dark hair, entangling it in your fingers. You groaned as the kiss became more sloppy. His right hand dragged down the side of you, outlining your waist and hip and eventually stopping to grip the outside of your thigh. Stan then broke the kiss to take a look at you. Your makeup had been smudged and your hair was spilling out behind your head. You were a vision. 

“Fuck,” Stan groaned, resting his head in the crook of your neck. His finger slipped underneath the strap of your dress. “Can I take this off? Please?” His voice was dripping with lust as he kissed you gently on your cheek. Oh, shit was this really happening? You talked big game outside, but now that it got down to it, you were getting a little nervous. 

“Uh, yes. Let me get up real quick.” He rolled off of you to let you stand up, your back facing towards him. You began to unzip your dress, but it got stuck at the top of the zipper. 

“Oh, hold on, sweetheart. I got you.” Stan stood up to maneuver the slider so that it went down easier. You bit your lip to suppress the grin forming over something so domestic. “There we go,” he said, unzipping your dress the rest of the way. This was still Stan. You had nothing to be worried about. 

“Thank you,” you murmured, turning to face him. His eyebrows lifted as you let the dress fall from your shoulders and crumple on the shoulder. Both of you were blushing from the vulnerability of the situation. You stood before him in a lacy bra push-up bra and matching light pink panties. 

He swallowed hard. “I, wow,” he ran his hands through his hair and exhaled, “you’re…beautiful.” You gave him a wide smile. 

“Your turn now, handsome.” You kissed him and began to unbutton his shirt one by one while his hands slid down your back. His hands began to wander over your hips, waist, and down to your butt where he squeezed roughly. He swallowed the squeak you made by colliding his lips with yours. His shirt fell to the floor showing off a broad, hairy chest. You ran your fingers through the coarse hair before grasping onto his burly shoulders for balance. His teeth and tongue fought with yours while he sat on the edge of the bed, bringing you into his lap. 

“Fuck, you’re so soft,” Stan whispered, fumbling with the hook of your bra. You felt some light pressure as it came undone. He tossed it to the floor with the growing pile of clothes. His eyes then became transfixed on your breasts. You saw him swallow and his face turned an even deeper shade of red. 

“Are they okay?” you asked self-consciously. 

His eyes met yours immediately. “Okay?” He glanced back down at your breasts and the back at you. “Babe, they’re…” he shook his head, “they’re fucking smokin’.” Your laughter from his blunt compliment was cut off by a sharp inhale. His lips had latched on to your right nipple while he fondled the other breast vigorously. Your fingers weaved into his hair, nails scraping at his scalp, and his tongue swirling over your areola. 

“Stan…” you breathed, grinding down on the bulge in his blue jeans. He had started to repeat his same ministrations on your other nipple, giving it a gentle bite. You yelped; he looked up at you with that shit-eating grin that said Ha, I made you make that sound. He then pulled you to him as he laid his back against the comforter of your bed. 

“You mind if I take these off, doll?” Stan asked, tugging at the waistband of your panties. You grinned. 

“I don’t mind,” you replied. “What are you gonna do when they’re off?” 

Stan rolled his eyes playfully. “Not tellin’.” He carefully slid his panties over the globes of your ass. “That’ll ruin the surprise.” He suddenly flipped you over so that your positions were switched. He smirked at the surprised expression on your face. “Learned that from boxing,” he joked, now watching as he removed your panties the rest of the way. He licked his lips; the lacy material grazing your calf. He eventually set them at the end of the bed, eyes never leaving your molten core. 

“Stan?” you asked. His eyes darted to meet yours. His pupils were insanely dilated…Hungry even. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just… Fuck, you’re so sexy.” He shook his head in disbelief. “Would you mind if I…” his voice trailed off. He leaned down to peck at your kneecap. Oh.

“Oh, you mean, like oral?” you stammered. 

“I mean like eating you out,” Stan clarified. So you were right. 

“Y-you don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Do you want me to?”

“Well, I definitely wouldn’t mind, but don’t you want me to take care of you?” To be honest, you weren’t used to guys putting you first. 

Stan frowned. “Toots, I have been thinking about your legs around my head all night. This is for me as much as it is for you.” You felt every part of your body heat up. 

“Oh, okay then. Yes, I think that would be very enjoyable,” you replied nervously, unsure of how to respond. Stan laughed before placing his hands at your thighs to gently part your legs further. 

“Glad we’re on the same page,” he murmured, head moving down to leave open-mouthed kisses up your leg. His hands were splayed on the outside of your thighs; his mouth was slowly inching to where you needed him most. Your breath shuddered, clutching the sheets to brace yourself for his touch. 

“So pretty,” Stan groaned, pressing his lips against your labia. You gasped at the contact, making him chuckle. “So wet for me, too.” His big hands moved to your hips while the tip of his tongue teased your slit. He then pulled you closer to his mouth to give your swollen clit the attention it needed so badly. He swirled his tongue around the bud carefully, the pads of his fingers sinking into your hips. 

“Oh, God,” you cried out. You quickly covered your mouth with the palms of both your hands out of embarrassment. 

“Uh, uh,” Stan chastised. He lifted his head to gently take your wrists and uncover your face. “I want to hear everything.” He then positioned your hands to the back of his head. “And don’t be afraid to take what you want, sweetheart.” Stan delved back into your cunt, not being as tender as he was before. He was fucking you with his tongue, tasting every bit of you that he could.

You gripped his hair and squeezed your thighs around his head. “Stan! Please,” you exclaimed, “don’t stop.” You were now grinding your clit against his strong nose, hips swiveling to their own accord. Stan sighed dreamily, using the flat of his tongue to lick a stripe up your pussy. You accidentally tugged at the hair at the nape of his neck causing him to let out what can only be described as a guttural whimper. That was the cause of your undoing. The build-up developing in your abdomen reached its peak by gushing onto Stan’s mouth and sending shockwaves through your body. 

When you came down from your high, Stan was laying there wide-eyed in awe of what he had just witnessed. “That…” he breathed, “was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” He laid his head on your stomach and gave it a quick peck. “Ya know, if you’re up to it, I got a rubber in my-”

“Yes,” you interjected. “I need to feel you in me right now.” 

“Oh, alright. Hold on let me just,” he fumbled over his words, reaching into his pocket to reveal a worn leather wallet. He pulled out a square golden wrapper and ripped it open with his teeth. You crawled over to him to unbuckle his belt, kneeling at the end of the bed.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about doing this,” you confessed, unzipping his pants and pulling them down. 

“Oh, fuck,” Stan groaned as you exposed his throbbing cock form his boxers. It was painfully hard, precum leaking from the tip. You wrapped your lips around it, sucking it slightly before dragging your tongue down his shaft. He threw his head back as you used your fingers to fondle his balls gently and take him further into your mouth. His fingers wove into the hair above your ear, cradling your head. You gazed up at him to see his face flushed and eyelids hooded. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I’m not gonna last much longer like this, and I really want to feel ya,” Stan apologized. You nodded and removed your mouth from his cock so he could slide the condom on. You laid down on the bed and let him hover over you, lining himself up with your entrance. This was really happening.

“Okay, I’m about to put it in. Just, let me know if I hurt ya, okay? Let me know what feels good too,” Stan instructed lovingly. He caged your head in with his forearms and gave you a sweet kiss. You then felt pressure in your lower half of Stan entering you. You and Stan gasped in unison at the feeling. 

“Stan,” you breathed. “You feel…so good.” He started to move his hips back and forth, eyes studying your face and how it scrunched up in pleasure. 

“You do too, Y/N. Oh, God.” His pace began to pick up. He looked from side to side at your arms in search of something to anchor him. He interlocked your hands in his and put his head in the crook of your neck, grunting into your skin. It was so much. It was so sensual. He made you feel so beautiful. That familiar feeling was approaching as his hips slammed into yours. Your legs were wrapped around his waist and starting to shake. 

“I’m almost there, Stan.”

Stan’s eyes met yours, his hair a mess and sweat starting to bead at his temples. “Come on, baby, let me feel it. Give it to me,” he begged. Once again, his gruff voice was the cause of your intense orgasm. You screamed his name while he chased his own. His thrusts were no longer uniform but sloppy. 

You felt his body tense up and relax as he came. He pressed his forehead into the valley of your breasts and just breathed. You played with his hair absentmindedly, still feeling the effects of your own orgasms. 

He eventually pulled himself from you, making you feel empty. He went to the bathroom to toss the used condom and came back to hold you flush to his chest. He kissed along the shell of your ear and held you by your waist. 

“Breakfast is on me in the morning,” Stan whispered. “I’ll make you my special: Stancakes.” 

You burst into a fit of giggles as you shifted your body to face him. He was giving you a dopey smile. You planted a kiss on his nose. “Can’t wait.”

People who wanted to be tagged (i love y’all): @lucas1253 @vitality-falls @daniel-meyer-03 @marvelous-maniac @daisysinadarkmedow @lordbelkamort @mayhaps-nerd @ziragus

[silverflqmes]

໒⦂ 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄’𝐒 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐐𝐈𝐍𝐆.

synopsis. the general of the xianzhou luofu is absolutely knocked out, nowhere to be found, and you’re left to look after his son retainer.

genre. fluff + crack

tw. secondhand embarrassment..

for @melukonova <3

jing yuan x gn!reader.

“i am not a child!” the blond haired swordsman whined out, sheathing his icy blade. “therefore i do not need babysitting!”

you let out a sigh, throwing your bow on your back as you caught up to the fuming teen. “i don’t wanna look after you anymore than you want me to. but your dad- i mean, mentor, ordered me to.” a chill ran down your spine. “and i don’t even want to know what would happen if i disobeyed and lost you.”

the dozing general, as your good friend sushang called him, was all lax and carefree until angered. you being you, the last thing you wanted was to see first hand what that anger looked like. after all, they did say the calmer ones are scarier when they snap.

yanqing eyed you for a moment before letting out a huff, unfazed by her reasoning. “what makes you think i would get lost? i’m perfectly capable of handling myself, i’ve been doing so for years now!” he argued before drawing out a hum. an idea. “but..” he dragged out, peering at you from the peripheral of his gaze. “if you want to waste your day chasing me around, i suppose you’ll have to keep up!”

and just like that, the boy was gone within a sprint.

your palm came in contact with your forehead as you let out an ( exasperated ) sigh. normally you would have left the kid to do his thing, but with the mara-struck soldiers around and all sorts of dangerous beings.. it wasn’t wise to leave him on his own, even if his skills rivaled or outnumbered your own.

“this kid is gonna be the death of me.” with that in mind, you bolted after him. “wait up!”

yanqing didn’t dare slow down as he maneuvered his way through the artisanship commission — a favored place of his. for awhile he’d been eyeing a sword there, but sadly.. he’d spent his entire paycheck upon receiving it.

which for reference, was last week..

however, two days ago yuan had provided him with the necessary credits to purchase the blade. hence his pursuit for the antique store.

when his peridot eyes found his destination, they sparked with relief when they caught sight of the sword. his prayers had been answered! no one bought it!

he took the antique meticulously into his hands, as though afraid it could shatter if handled incorrectly, as he brought it up to the counter.

“sir yanqing, you’ve returned!” the storekeeper greeted, smiling brightly. “the sword’s been waiting for you the entire week! since no one has come to purchase it, it seems it was meant to be with you after all!”

the ice user let out a chuckle, folding his arms proudly across his chest . “it seems so!” he grinned before reaching into his pocket. “same amount as before?”

a nod. “same amount!”

relieved to hear it hadn’t gone up in price, yanqing continued his search.. only to come out empty handed.

the boy blinked in surprise, reaching into another pocket.. and nothing again.

“i must have left it at the estate!” he mentally scolded himself before looking up with a blush coating his cheeks. “i-i um.. left my wallet at home.. is there any chance you can hold onto the sword while i get it?” he asked, praying the shopkeeper would say yes, but his apologetic smile said otherwise.

“i’m sorry sir yanqing, it would go against the store policy since we’re an antique shop — you sort of find what you can get..”

the young prodigy paled, whispers entering his ears around him about the blade. if he left, someone was sure to take it!

“what to do, what to do..”

“yanqing, there you are! i’ve been looking everywhere for you.” you called out, glancing between the blond and the store clerk. “were you going to buy this?”

his eyes widened at your ability to have caught up so quickly. he thought he’d lost you amidst the twists, turns and teleportation! it seemed his methods in slipping away still needed work. he could only wonder how the general had perfected his so well.

parting his lips, yanqing felt the need to interrogate you on your abilities in finding him, but he closed them right after, his curiosity faltering. “it doesn’t matter, i left my credits at home so i can’t buy it.” he mumbled back, cheeks burning as the words left his mouth. how could he have made such a rookie mistake?!

a hum left your lips at his reasoning before you reached into your utility belt, pulling out a sum of credits you’d received just yesterday. “how much is the weapon?” you stepped forward, holding out the bills in your hand.

the blond nearly felt his jaw drop at your actions. were you going to pay for him?? he couldn’t allow that — it wasn’t right!

“w-wait, y/n! i can just get another one some other time!” he blurted, tugging on your wrist to pull you back.

however, you ignored him. “will this be enough or does it cost more?” you asked, refocusing your gaze on the shopkeeper — who looked almost dumbfounded. how much did cloud knights earn?!

“um- it will do, y-yes..” the owner answered quietly, popping the register open before grabbing a tote. “would you like a bag with that..?”

you looked towards your blond companion, nudging him out of his daze. “bag or no bag?”

“n-no bag..” yanqing answered quietly, taking the blade off the counter before sheathing it at his hip.

the walk to the estate was quiet, minus the rustling of the trees and gossiping of birds.

no wonder the general liked his naps so much, it was peaceful and much needed- considering his workload.

yanqing hadn’t spoken a word after saying he didn’t need a bag.

part of him was still disbelieved about it all. if it hadn’t been for you grabbing his wrist to guide him back home, he would’ve remained frozen in his place.

the silence didn’t matter to you though, your job of looking after yanqing was nearing its end. you could return to your post in about twenty minutes worry free.

“y/n, yanqing!” the general greeted at the gates, smiling that cat-like grin he always sported. “i was beginning to think something had happened that required me to save you both.” he teased, sliding his gaze over to his retainer’s hip before letting out a chuckle. “i see you went shopping. is that the one you’ve been eyeing?” he inquired gently, folding his arms comfortably over his chest.

the teen looked up at the albino haired male for a moment before lowering his eyes, shame overcoming him. “a-about that, i left my wallet here.. so y/n bought it for me.” he confessed, flushing like he did before. he felt bad to have you pay, after the way he behaved with you earlier.

and yuan had no issue picking up on this as he let out a hum. “really now?” he questioned softly, peering over at you for confirmation.

surprise crossed your features upon being addressed before you inclined your head. “he was worried someone would buy it if he left the store, so i paid. but it’s no issue at all! t-truly, general..”

the lightning user let out a hum. “i see. well i can’t let your kind actions go to waste.” he spoke up finally, raising a hand to his chin.

“that’s alright- consider it a gift.” you smiled awkwardly, waving your hands dismissively before flitting your eyes to the blond. “i hope the sword finds you well.”

yanqing felt his guilt creeping up on him as he watched you turn before he could say his thanks.

and then his voice found him. “w-wait..!” he blurted out, grabbing your hand, as you did previously to him. “you didn’t let me thank you properly..” the ice user spoke up, swallowing his embarrassment to look over at the golden eyed male beside him for permission. “can y/n stay over for dinner?”

“dinner?? with the general and his retainer?!” you shouted in your head, astonished that the boy was even asking such a thing when all he wanted was to get away from you.

“a-ah, yanqing that’s okay- it was a gift! therefore no payment is required.. and i don’t want to intrude.” your voice quieted at the last sentence, suddenly feeling flushed yourself.

you had a post to get back to and later a box of leftover takeout waiting for you at home. having dinner with the general and his apprentice was completely unheard of!

however, the general in question thought otherwise. “hmm.. i think the kid is right.” jing yuan finally said, lowering his hand to the arm over his chest. “you’re relieved of your duties for tonight. yanqing, show them in while i get dinner started.”

with that, the general was already walking through the gates into his grand estate.

and once more.. you were left to look after his retainer — or in this case, he was left to look after you.

“um.. this way.” the blond brought you out of your trance when he dropped your hand, moving a few steps ahead of you.

the walk was awkward to say the least, he was truly hoping for yuan’s assistance on this, but alas.. he had other plans.

perhaps this was yanqing’s punishment for forgetting his wallet behind. “have you visited here before?” he sliced through the silence, though not as cleanly as his swords would.

you slid your eyes to him, surprised to hear him speak, though you recovered quickly. “a few times to deliver messages, but never beyond the gates.”

the blond nodded in understanding. jing yuan was keen on not mixing home life with work, he liked to preserve his relaxing environment. which made sense, people came home to relax and get away from their job.

he continued onward with you, stopping at the small nook he normally spent time off in to grab what looked to be.. digital checkers?

your brows rose a little. despite yanqing arguing that he was not a child, he sure favored his games.

his eyes met yours — a wordless invitation.

it’s not like there was much to do. anything to pass the time ( and embarrassment ) will do.

“alright, dinner is ready!” the snowy haired general called, walking out with a crockpot in hand — a culinary achievement of his. “who’s hungr-”

“HOW?!” yanqing’s voice tore through his question, causing him to blink. his retainer wasn’t one for losing his cool around others; had he missed something?

you surveyed yuan at the doorway for a second before lowering your eyes to the blond, lifting your shoulders at his outburst. “beginner’s luck?” you asked with an innocent smile.

only, he wasn’t buying it. “no way-! then i demand a rematch to test that statement!”

“how about you let our guest eat first.” the general chimed in, chuckling softly when the boy sharpened up instantaneously. worked every time. “i see you and y/n have been quite busy in my absence.. perhaps i’ll have to try my luck with them as well.” he mused, winking over at you.

your face heated up at the gesture, not having anticipated that of your superior, but you tried not to think too much of it.

sure he was a smooth talker and incredibly handsome. you’d even caught that foxian ambassador selling his pictures once!

however you knew better than to become romantically attached. least of all with your, quote on quote, boss.

even so, you couldn’t help those butterflies that crept into your gut at that wink. it was heart-stopping.

you took the vacant seat the boys had left you- across from yuan, ironically. once again, you tried not to think much of it.

but how could you do that after his fingers brushed yours so delicately when you reached for the ladle?

the way his golden eyes fell to yours and that dreamy look on his face with that lazy smile. no wonder you kept away from the general, you wouldn’t survive a day!

yanqing eyed the exchange, glancing between you and his caretaker. something felt strange in the atmosphere, and at this point, he was rethinking his choices on inviting you to eat. this was.. embarrassing to witness, and he’d had enough of his own share already.

still, it would be rude to send you home or question his guardian’s actions.

that, and he couldn’t help this weird, fuzziness in his chest. the little kid in him that yearned for that familial feeling.

granted, jing yuan on his own was a father figure enough — but right now, sitting at the table between you both.. he couldn’t help the rush of emotions he felt all at once.

he wondered if maybe, you would come again to dinner if he asked you to.

notes. hi queen i was trying so hard to get this out on your birthday but i fr blanked out and the creative juices went dryer than sumeru’s desert😐 anyway i hope this was what you wanted?? went from where’s waldo ( yanqing ) to very fluffy dinner??? first time writing jing yuan AND yanqing too, so i am um.. concerned for the portrayal. but i hope it satisfies you! and happy happy birthdayyy mami, mwah<3

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[3-2-whump]

The Auction Floor: Thomas Costa’s POV

Hi all,

In exchange for a chapter on the current timeline (a chapter I am still working on/fixing up before it is posted), I am posting a prequel chapter. Any and all prequel chapters will be found under 'Eternal, part 0.' They won't have nav arrows, but they will have an explanation to when in the story they take place, and a link to the masterlist to read more. Hope this system works for everyone!

This chapter happens slightly before, concurrently, and a little after The Auction Floor

TW/CW: death of a minor character (briefly mentioned), institutionalized slavery, pet whump, dehumanization, nonconsensual nudity (nonsexual), minor whump (at time of story), creepy/intimate whumper(s) (sort of a multiple whimpers situation), manhandling (nonsexual) (towards the end)

Mob boss Luciano Antonio Costa – Boss Tony - had died, leaving mafia to his grandson, Thomas, to control. The newly-appointed heir didn’t look much like a typical Italian mob boss. With his blonde hair, steely blue eyes, and freckled fair skin, he hardly even looked Italian. However, the old boss never had any legitimate male heirs to pass the helm of leadership to, having only one daughter before his wife died. Although he begrudgingly accepted his daughter’s marriage to Tom’s father, an inconsequential gangster from the Irish mob, he had always intended to pass the family business onto his surviving grandson.

“I’m so sorry for your loss” began to lose its meaning after the fourth well-meaning chump, and unfortunately, Grandpa Tony’s funeral had a good turnout. “That was a beautiful eulogy,” one of many nameless faces sniffled. “You two must have been very close,” they’d said to him. Were we ever close, though? Thomas wanted to ask, remembering only the time they last fought. It may as well have been a lifetime ago when he was a teenager who turned his back on the family to try and live a straight life, but the guilt hung over him like a curse no matter how hard he had tried to run away from his fate as the next boss of the Costas. It was always about what he wanted me to be, not what I wanted. Never once was it ever about what I wanted to do with my life, he bitterly remembered. Even now, it was all about Grandpa Tony’s wants, as he accepted his role in leading the Costas. He cast a baleful glance at the casket as it slowly disappeared beneath the earth.You won, old man.

His underboss and a few of the capos, men that he had grown up with and who now supported him in running the large criminal organization, caught on to their new boss’ sour mood. Admittedly, it wasn’t hard to notice how intensely he scowled at the freshly filled-in grave. They suggested celebrating Thomas’ ascension to head of the family with drinks and a night out, but their idea of a night out was attending a black-market auction and maxing out the organization’s funds on frivolous shit. Powerful drugs, illicit weapons, plundered antiques, and –dear god, did Jaime just buy an arowana?! Thomas looked over the side of his whiskey glass disapprovingly.

He glanced over at a corner of the auction house that seemed to gather a large crowd. He shrugged and decided to join them to see the display. The crowd surrounded an entire floor-to-ceiling wall of glass, behind which stood people from all around the world, each divided into their own little compartments within the glass wall, each of them completely naked. The way they were displayed in those little glass tanks was oddly reminiscent of how fish were displayed at a pet store.

Get a pet, people had said to him. It’ll be good for you, they said, help lift your spirits, they said, if you’re responsible for keeping one little thing alive, maybe you’ll be more motivated to take care of yourself, they said. Surely those people had meant a cat or a dog or a python, and probably not an actual human being. Although, Thomas remembered the people giving him that advice were part of the major crime families of the city, too. Perhaps this was what they meant all along?

Regardless of what those people meant, it was a whole different thing to actually commit to owning a person. He’d never seriously considered it before, but now he found himself thoughtfully observing the merchandise behind the glass. Though there were a few people who were obviously adults, most of them were teens, and most them were girls, though there were a couple boys, too.

Whichever one he’d pick, they would have to be relatively attractive, if he was going to have to bear looking at them at the end of every day. He eyed a glass cell with a stunning blonde girl futilely trying to cover herself with her hands and ignore the gazes directed within her cell. Thomas pushed past the crowd and moved on; pretty girls like that would be swiped up immediately, so it wouldn’t even be worth the trouble to place a bid. The next cell held a freckled boy who leaned into the glass, fogging it up with his breath and writing ‘HELP ME’ over and over again with his finger. Thomas passed on that one, too. One by one he would find something wrong with the human assets behind the glass cases. Too shy, too desperate, not my type, that one just stares ahead and doesn’t even move…

He finally stopped around the last few cells, where a crowd had dissipated from in front of a glass cell with discontented murmurs. Inside that one crouched a small boy, knobby knees drawn to bony chest, thin, tan arms wrapped around his shins, and a head of messy dark hair resting on top his knees. The boy dared to look up from his hiding place. Loose, unruly waves of hair and thick, dark eyelashes nearly covered his expressive dark brown eyes. Those eyes hid nothing as they shone with fear. Thomas gripped the whiskey in his hand a little tighter. The child cut a striking image inside the glass prison, reminding him of a time and a place and an incidence he never liked to think about for long-

To his misfortune, his subordinates caught him staring. “Got your eye on the little slave, Tommy-Boy?” Luca asked as he sauntered up to him.

“Don’t call him that.” Even if that was technically what he would be, the whole concept still took a while for him to get used to. “I just think he’s cute is all,” he mumbled into his glass, draining it of the rest of the whiskey while he tried to convince himself the pink in his cheeks was only from the drink.

“Why don’t you place a bid?” Thomas whipped around to see Jaime lurking behind him. When did he get here? His eyes traveled down to the large picnic cooler on wheels, supposedly where Jaime’s new fish was. “Boss Tony, God rest his soul, left you quite the inheritance, I’m sure you can afford him,” Jamie snickered. He pointed to the sign above the glass cell, where the serial number and QR code were displayed prominently. “142225,” he read.

“Doesn’t he kind of remind you of-”

“You shut up. Right now,” Thomas warned.

“We’ll shut up once you place a bid, now come on! At least look up the little slave!”

Thomas sighed and whipped out his phone; the sooner he scanned the QR Code with the app the black market had made him download, the sooner his underlings would shut the hell up. A profile popped up on his phone screen, the men crowding comically around him to read over his shoulder. 142225 had been collected in Pakistan, was 5’1”, and weighed barely 90 lbs. at the last weigh-in.

“They like to starve the kids here,” Luca explained nonchalantly. “Makes it easier to control them.” Thomas glanced briefly at the thin boy inside the glass, frowning a little as he let that unsettling fact sink in. He quickly scrolled past the blood type, known allergies, and other information he deemed irrelevant to hover his thumb over the ‘PLACE A BID’ button.

“Well, go on, you know you want to!”

“He looks easy enough to take care of, and easy on the eyes, too!”

“We saw how enviously you stared at Matteo’s pet at the last New Year’s party, won’t it be nice to finally have one of your own?”

 Eventually, their peer-pressure resulted in the new mob boss placing a bid, becoming $30k poorer, filling out some ridiculous form about any last-minute body mods he may want, and waiting until the end of the night to collect his new slave and go home. His companions had left hours ago, and every other buyer had gotten their slave already, so it was just him waiting alone in an emptying warehouse, trying to make small talk with one of the event coordinators.

“So, does he have a name?”

She didn’t even look up from her tablet. “He’s named whatever you want to name him.”

“Where is he from? Besides the collection point, where’s he actually from?”

“We don’t know.”

“How old is he?”

“We don’t know.”

Thomas barely suppressed a groan. “Is there anything you do know?” he ground out impatiently.

“Yeah. He looks even cuter when he cries.” The woman smirked over her tablet, looking over Thomas’ right shoulder. “He’s here.”

Thomas turned around to see the boy, now clothed in a white T-shirt and bluish gray sweatpants. He kept his eyes downcast and his hands folded in front of him. “What’s your name, kid?”

The boy looked up briefly before dropping his gaze back to his bare feet. “Khaled,” he replied, voice timid and heavily accented, “but you may call me whatever you want, sir.”

Khaled. He silently rolled the name around on his tongue as if savoring an exotic sweet. Khaled. Thomas cast what he hoped was a reassuring smile, not that Khaled saw it with his gaze fixed to the floor. “Luckily for you, I like your name.” He strode decisively toward the exit, gently placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder to direct him. “Come with me, Khaled.”

In the nearly three-hour car ride back to Thomas’ home, the mob boss learned three things about his new purchase. Firstly, Khaled was shy, only speaking when spoken to and even then, using as few words as possible. Also, Khaled probably didn’t speak much English; how much of this was because he was shy, and how much of this was because he literally couldn’t understand him? And –finally, -Khaled could run. Since the moment the car parked, Khaled dashed out and sprinted into the street. He nearly got hit by a truck before Thomas could chase after him, pull him back, and drag him inside the apartment building. The scene of a grown man dragging a distressed kid who was screaming bloody murder probably shocked some residents, but fortunately the doorman was part of the Costas and did not bat an eye.

“It is too damn early for this!” Thomas complained to himself as he practically threw Khaled into the awaiting elevator. “Do you want to be leashed up like a dog, you little shit?! Cause that’s what’s going to happen if you keep trying to run away!”

“Let go of me, please!” the boy cried, his voice brittle and panicked like a scared, caged animal as he tried to twist out of the punishing grip on his arm.

“Like hell I’m letting you go, not after maxing out my personal credit card on you and pulling an all-nighter for the first time since Kandahar!” He violently jammed the buttons that would take them to the top floor of the high rise.

Soon the elevator dinged, doors swooshing open as they reached the floor of his penthouse. “Come on!” Thomas continued to drag the boy through the hallway, ignoring him begging in that endearing accent of his. Khaled’s complaints all but ceased as soon as he opened the door to his penthouse and let the boy step inside. His eyes widened, sparkling in awe, and his jaw dropped as he let out a reverent “whoa” that transcended any language barrier.

The living room to the penthouse itself was light and spacious, with large floor-to-ceiling windows that let in plenty of natural light, and minimalist décor to accent the living room. A large L-shaped couch dominated the living room and looked over the expansive rooftop and the cityscape beyond it. The rest of the room terminated sharply into a dining area with a large oak table and a wood-floored kitchen with two large granite countertops. An imposingly large door –the door to Thomas’ bedroom, -stood closed to the left of the living room. A hallway to the right branched off into an office on one side, and a guest bathroom opposite. A small staircase right outside the laundry room led to a storage loft spanning above the entrance. Thomas toed off his shoes at the door. Khaled, who wasn’t wearing any shoes, hesitantly walked in. Tom frowned when he noticed the dirty footprints left behind on his beige rug.“Would you like a bath, Khaled?” he suggested. The fact that Khaled didn’t reply made him again wonder how much English he truly understood. We can work on that. He sighed in exasperation as he gripped the boy’s arm and dragged him off to the guest bathroom. Once inside, Thomas deposited him at the entrance and turned on the lights and the fan. He got the shower head running next. Khaled stood silently watching him by the door as he tested the water’s temperature with his hand a few times. He nodded in satisfaction as the water finally reached an agreeable temperature. “Come on in,” he beckoned. Khaled inched closer to the bath tub. “Can I take off your clothes?” he asked. The boy blinked, then shook his head as he quickly took off the shirt himself. The drab sweatpants soon followed, and he quickly stepped into the shower. Thomas drew the curtain to prevent water from spilling and to give him a shred of privacy. As the boy showered, he soon realized Khaled had nothing to wear but that depressing little t-shirt and sweatpants. He took them to the laundry room and chucked them in the hamper, making a mental note to buy some clothes for Khaled as soon as possible. Cute as the small naked boy was, he was still a minor, and Tom didn’t need any extra distractions while he was adjusting to his new role as Boss of the Costa Family.

Le Tag List: @kabie-whump @rainydaywhump @whumped-by-glitter @skittles-the-whumpee @generic-whumperz @bamber344 @there-will-always-be-blood @morning-star-whump

[yandere-daze]

Congratulations on the 3k milestone!! Your writing is so lovely, you completely deserve it ❤️❤️

Could I request Shu and Ibara with a male or gn s/o out on a date and they offer to buy every thing Shu/Ibara even just glance at in shops? And despite the idols’ protests, s/o bought a good half of the things for them anyways. And the next day after the date, they find the rest of the stuff on their doorstep. S/o is just absolutely smitten for them, but does put in actual effort to the relationship besides materialistic matters. Thank you!

Heya, thank you!! ☺️ Sorry for the wait, I hope you enjoy!

gn reader

no warnings

Buying out the whole store!

You´ve been dating Shu for quite some time and thus you´ve learned of Shu´s passion for the arts and anything that includes. You love watching him admire different fabrics in his favorite shops and listening to him rant about all the little details that make them special. You´re just happy seeing your boyfriend in his element and you can´t help but want to support him in his endeavors

Though Shu comes from a wealthy family, he doesn´t have a very good relationship with his parents and thus would hate having to call them up for any favors because he´s in need of money. Because of this, you would often have to watch him part ways with a certain piece of fabric he had been fascinated with or an especially beautiful antique doll that had caught his eye, muttering about how he would have to focus on what Valkyrie needs at the moment

You can see how painful it is for him to part with these things he clearly wants and so one day, you decide to indulge him as best as you can. You do have quite a lot of money to spend like this and there´s nothing else you would rather spend it on than making your boyfriend happy

So when Shu´s about to leave the collection of antique dolls that had been abandoned by their owners, shouting about how this is a giant tragedy? You pull him back by his hand and lead him back into the store, ignoring his little shout about why you´re pulling his hand like that

His eyes go wide when you walk up to the counter and cheerfully tell the store owner that you would like to buy all the dolls on display. He´s completely in disbelief, not sure that what he´s seeing is actually happening

He´s definitely happy to have the dolls, seeing as he really wanted them, but he will ask you if you really want to spend that much money on him. He´s a bit concerned but will utter that in his own Shu-way

"I cannot believe you bought all of these dolls just like that. Do you truly have enough money to be spending it like this? Well, I presume I am quite grateful that you would do this to me..."

He´s definitely blushing a bit when you reassure him that this is what you want to do with your money. You want him to be happy

He´s a bit awkward when he tells you that he would still love you even if you didn´t have this sort of money

Buying out the whole store!

If this had been anyone else, Ibara would have been very wary of the possible motives of buying him whatever he wanted. He would have taken as much advantage of the situation as he could while anticipating some kind of scheme the other person might be trying to pull. He´s well-versed in the business world and how crummy CEOs or investors operate and so he´s certain he would be able to see through a scheme like that. After all, who would ever spend a lot of money on someone without expecting anything in return?

You, apparently.

It had taken a long time for Ibara to come to terms with the fact that there were people who were looking out for him and wanting the best for him the goodness of their heart and not to get some sort of benefit out of it. Both Eden and of course you have become very important parts of his life, people that he could rely on and that he knows are on his side.

He doesn´t like to expose this vulnerable side to others though, his childhood in the military still making him averse to showing any kind of weakness to anybody. A weakness can be exploited.

And yet, when you walk up to him with a big smile on your face, telling him that you bought him the item he had secretly been eyeing all week, he can´t help but let a genuine smile slip as well.

The money wasn´t the issue. He would have been more than capable of buying it himself with the amount of money he had amassed running Cospro. But in this, it´s the thought that matters.

You had been paying attention to him, you had noticed what he had been interested in and you went out of your way to go back and buy it for him without expecting anything in return. You had truly spent a lot of money just now buying all these things for him, but for once the actual monetary value was not what mattered to Ibara

You had done that for him, not because of some ulterior motive, but because you wanted to do something nice for him.

It´s a foreign feeling to him, to know that someone genuinely wishes for his happiness every day, and the thought makes him feel weak.

But Ibara doesn´t mind feeling weak if he can be by your side

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Quotes that speak to me on this really fucking shitty day

Hey, have I told you lately that you're brave? I still remember what you said to that little girl in the hospital about Luke Skywalker:"He's proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is." Sweetheart, you're proof too.

It is, indeed, bullshit. It's all I can do not to pack a bag and be gone forever. Perhaps I could live in your room like a recluse. You could have food sent up for me, and I'll be lurking in disguise in a shadowy corner when you answer the door. It'll all be very dreadfully Jane Eyre

I'm afraid, though, I'm stuck here. Gran keeps asking Mum when I'm going to enlist, and did I know Philip had already served a year by the time he was my age. I do need to figure out what I'm going to do, because I'm certainly closing in on the end of what's an acceptable amount of time for a gap year. Please do keep me in your- what is it American politicians say?-thoughts and prayers

It drives me nuts sometimes that you don't get to have more say in your life. When I picture you happy, I see you with your own apartment somewhere outside of the palace and a desk where you can write anthologies of queer history. And I'm there, using up your shampoo and making you come to the grocery store with me and waking up in the same damn time zone with you every morning.

Have you ever had something go so horribly, horribly, unbelievably badly that you'd like to be loaded into a cannon and jettisoned into the merciless black maw of outer space?

I wonder sometimes what is the point of me, or anything. I should have just packed a bag like I said. I could be in your bed, languishing away until I perish, fat and sexually conquered, snuffed out in the spring of my youth. Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock.

Specifically, we were discussing enlistment, Philip and Shaan and I, and I told Philip I'd rather not follow the traditional path and that I hardly think I'd be useful to anyone in the military. He asked why I was so intent on disrespecting the traditions of the men of this family, and I truly think I dissociated straight (ha) out of the conversation, because I opened my blasted mouth and said, "Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip."

Once Shaan managed to dislodge him from the chandelier, Philip had quite a few words for me, some of which were "confused or misguided" and "ensuring the perpetuity of the bloodline" and "respecting the legacy." Honestly, I don't recall much of it. Essentially, I gathered that he was not surprised to discover I am not the heterosexual heir I'm supposed to be, but rather surprised that I do not intend to keep pretending to be the heterosexual heir I'm supposed to be.

Sometimes I imagine moving to New York to take over launching Pez's youth shelter there. Just leaving. Not coming back. Maybe burning something down on the way out. It would be nice.

9. How hard you try

10. How hard you've always tried.

11. How determined you are to keep trying.

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you.

They all turn to look at him, and Alex feels a wave of something so much bigger than himself sweep over him, like when he was a child standing bowlegged in the Gulf of Mexico, rip-tide sucking at his feet. A sound escapes his throat uninvited, something that he barely even recognizes, and June has him first, then the rest of them, arms and arms and hands and hands, pulling him close and touching his face and moving him until he's on the floor, the goddamn terrible hideous antique rug that he hates, sitting on the floor and staring at the rug and the threads of the rug and hearing the Gulf rushing in his ears and thinking distantly that he's having a panic attack, and that's why he can't breathe, but he's just staring at the rug and he's having a panic attack and knowing why his lungs won't work doesn't make them work again.

He's faintly aware of being shifted into his room, to his bed, which is still covered in the godforsaken fucking newspapers, and someone guides him onto it, and he sits down and tries very, very hard to make a list in his head.

One.

One.

One

Once upon a time, there was a young Prince, who was born in a castle. And there had never been a prince quite like him: he was born with his heart on the outside of his body.

Whereas the other princes and noble children could withstand the slings and arrows of childhood, the Prince felt everything acutely. Everything seemed to touch and threaten his unprotected heart.

Oh for Christ sake Alex, for once! I wish you could see me for who I am and not who you want me to be! Sometimes, I don't think you know me at all!

I wasn't raised by a loving, supportive family like you were!

Nothing will ever happen to you.

I don't want your protection, I want your support.

[parental-unit-of-chaos]

Lines drawn in Charcoal : Jason Todd x Male Reader.

This will be the frist writing I've ever posted online, so I hope at least some one enjoys this. @n0cturna1-m3 here ya go!

Cw: mentions of scars, childhood truama, past truama in general, body image issues and self image issues.

Living in a safehouse with Jason has a roommate had it's ups and downs, no matter how many years you've know Jason. It was no secret he had been through a lot, only a small drop of that pain he's shared. Most he keeps in his head, if to remind himself he is still alive or to torture himself to stay in control. You were never sure.

That's what made scenes like this sobering, reminding you that he's still the sweet Jason under all the walls he built up. The Jason that no matter how much he tries to hide it, to cage it, he has a heart bigger than himself. This morning, Jason choose to spend in his favorite reading spot. Slumped in the red padded chair that caught his eye, while walking past the antique store. The thought of leaving the chair or even moving an inch, melted away has soon has your fluff ball decided to join him.

The cat had falling asleep purring hours ago; Jason's attention was only focused on the book that he was half way through. And where were you? You were sat on the couch with your sketchbook and charcoal pencils, capturing each soft and rough line of the handsome man.

Making sure to get every detail and proportion right; his sharp jawline, the soft lines of his lips, his brows knitted in concentration. More importantly how relaxed he was, where he wasn't on edge and paranoid. That the next corner he turns someone will be someone with a gun pointing at him, or worse, someone he cares about.

During one of the times you were looking down at your sketchbook, Jason finally pulled out of the fantasy world he was so engrossed in. Probably from the not so subtle sound of the pencils dragging in short or long strokes on the paper.

' Whatcha drawing now?' he inquired, with his own hypothesis that you were drawing the fluffy croissant in his lap. 'Just my world' you replied causing a sign to leave Jason's lungs at how cryptic the answer was. Sure it still could very well still be the cat, you drew the little whiskered demon everytime she was still. With the vague answer though, it could be a sketch of the city, to your favorite food.

' Ya gonna give me any hints or am I gonna have to geuss on my own?', Jason knew you loved when people tried to geuss what you were drawing. He also loved the weird ass guinea pig like noise that came from your throat, when someone didn't geuss correctly. 'the sketch is of a living thing' now you were intentionally being vague to draw out the game.

' Let me geuss, is it the ball of fluff in my lap? That for some reason, you took one look at, and named spleens??', Jason interrogates with a humored toned. The unique chuckle coming from your vocal cords, was he needed to hear to know he was wrong. 'for the record I explained why I named her spleens, when I first brought her home with me. And Nope! It's a human, a handsome and strong one at that'.

Handsome and strong? Jason had to think harder with that answer; my world, handsome and strong. Was it a trick answer and you were referring to poetry? 'Atlas??', he replied, perplexed. His answer was met with more of a laugh this time, he assumed he got too far away from the answer. You laughing frustrated him,' Fine, enough of the game. I give up, who are drawing?'. He didn't care about winning anymore, just wanting to know the answer.

' It's you', the answer and smile you gave was so simply, but it cut through Jason deeper and with more weight than of of the League of assassins' blades ever could. Him? Your world? Handsome and strong? Jason couldn't see where you were coming from, or more so his insecurities wouldn't allow him too.

This had to of been a sarcastic answer and you actually drew someone else, it has to be. He's seen himself in the mirror, he knows he's not anything but disgusting. He's not handsome, his body looks like a living corpse, all the damn scars that covered his body. The walls felt like they were closing in, there was ringing in his ears. His image, his face, his body changing in the mirror being distorted. Taunting him, proving that no matter how much he tries to move on from what joker did to him, he'll never be anything more than what Joker made him. The memories of his biological father screaming about how much hates him, Batman -

' Jason!', your worried voice and your gentle hands touching his face, with the other on his arm brought him back to the present. He hadn't realized he had been shaking or the panic that exploded out of his chest. 'Breathe, you're going to past out if you don't. Focus on me, follow my pace of breathing.', he did has you said syncing his breathe with yours.

Once Jason finally calmed down fully you asked why he just had a panic attack, 'You don't have to share all of it, you can just give me the cliff notes'. He doesn't know what he did to deserve someone so understanding. 'When you said those things about me, my thoughts got the better of me. Reminding why I can't be any of those things', he stated still a little shakey.

'Do you want to see what I see you had?', he was hesitant, no he was scared to see it, but your voice sounded so reassuring. He trusted you,' If you think it would help, then yes', you gave him the finished sketch. His mind didn't allow him to believe fully that someone could see him like this, he looked normal, he looked so happy. You held his hand and flinched, like he was still on fight or flight.

'When I see you, I don't see you has your trauma or a victim. I see you has a survivor. You aren't who you are, because of joker or anyone else. You made yourself who you are, despite what happened to you.', you took a breathe giving that chance to look him in the eye.

'I read somewhere that in some Asian cultures, when a plate breaks they mend it back together with gold.', Jason felt like he couldn't breathe, he didn't know what to say. 'You aren't something that needs to be fixed has if you were brand new, that's not how truama works. But if let me, can I help mend those wounds with gold? To help build you back up?' Jason couldn't stop the tears that welded up and fell down his face. He pulled into the strongest hug he could muster, he never knew he need to hear those words, until you said them.

You let him cry has long has needed, he's been holding those emotions in for so long. He finally answers the question in a shaky voice, so small you almost didn't hear it.

'yes'

[guizhongballista]

may time wait for us [ jingren xianxia au ]

summary: what happens to legends after their tale is told? jing yuan lives a content and comfortable life as a highly respected cultivator in this age, long after the days of the glorious high cloud quintet. as its last living member, he finds that the echoes of the past do not fade so easily.

pairing: jing yuan x blade (ren) but it's mostly just sad jing yuan

word count: 2k

a/n: my second fanfic ever and it's still really bad but !! after not writing creatively for three years (endless oc ramblings only) and finally sharing my first fic back in august, i think i am slowly improving... feedback is always appreciated and loved <3 thank you !

special thanks to: @apopcornkernel, twt/Mushuroom1109, twt/fierycree, twt/naihilan_ for beta reading and comments !!!

*accompanying art will be shared later, I am a slow artist hahahh

read my one (1) other work on ao3 (nagazora kiamei pain 700 words)

---

glossary

xianren 仙人 - celestial or immortal

laoban 老板 - shop owner

xiuzhe 修者, xiuzhemen 修者们 - cultivator, cultivators

jianbing 兼并 - traditional street food with a savory filling, similar to crepes

baozi 包子 - steamed bun with a filling, can be savory or sweet (i had savory ones in mind for this fic!)

xiaqi 下棋 - play chess

ganbei 干杯 - to drink to a toast but literally means "dry cup" because you're expected to empty your cup after (or try to)

shifu 师傅 - teacher or master

---

When the clouds guarding the mountaintops parted, it was always a good day to visit the bustling town at its feet. The sect members would often head down between their studies and training and do everything from enjoying local delicacies to picking up imported goods to simply relaxing.

For one blonde-haired cultivator, though, the highlight of the town was an antique shop. Nestled in a quieter part of town, it boasted an ever-changing selection of fine swords and general weaponry from all corners of the world. Yanqing could chat with the laoban for hours about each sword’s story, and he tended to leave with a lot more than he’d bargained for. As for how he acquired the funds… it was usually thanks to the sect’s resident xianren, a certain white-haired man.

After much convincing, Jing Yuan decided to accompany the youth down the mountain today. Quiet moments in the sect were hard to come by, so when most of the sect members were out and about, he made the most of these moments by partaking in certain leisurely activities. Yanqing was particularly insistent today; Jing Yuan himself hadn’t been to town for a while, so perhaps a change of pace was in store.

The quaint shop was located in the eastern part of the town, a decent walk from the path leading to the sect. Jing Yuan, fan in hand, took in the familiar and unfamiliar sights as the pair made their way through the streets, with Yanqing leading the way.

As with every visit, most things stayed the same. Yet there was always something that had changed.

A new face in town, recently moved in. A new store owner who’d taken over a longstanding business. A new flyer advertising the “best eats in town.”

Or—new things that were now old. An old bulletin forgotten and vandalized. An old kite, beyond retrieval. An old road, still dirt where the others were paved stone.

Such was the passage of time.

The antique shop’s laoban was sitting idly at a table near the shop entrance, polishing a small blade. He brightened up when he saw Jing Yuan and Yanqing approaching, then got up and made his way to them, clasping his fist in greeting.

“Xiuzhemen, it’s been a while.”

Jing Yuan smiled and returned the greeting while Yanqing tried to strike up a conversation immediately off the bat.

“It has! I’ve—ah!” Jing Yuan tapped Yanqing with his fan, and the boy quickly repeated the greeting. The laoban simply laughed.

“We’re all friends here, no need for such formalities.”

Jing Yuan shook his head. “If I let one of our sect’s finest cultivators slack off, what would everyone else think?”

Yanqing rubbed his head, pouting slightly. “Well, as I was saying, I’ve heard really good things about new additions to the collection from my friends. You already know I want a look, and you know what I like!”

“That I do. Please, follow me.”

Yanqing looked up at Jing Yuan cautiously and chuckled abashedly. “Hehe…”

He nodded with a small sigh. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

The man took a seat at the table where the laoban had been and took out a scroll. But he soon found his attention divided between reading and the hustle and bustle of town just a few streets down.

Chatter and laughter mingled with the yells of street hawkers. Delicious aromas wafted toward him—Jing Yuan made out roasted sweet potatoes, jianbing, and… baozi? He smiled. Maybe he did miss freshly steamed baozi after all. He was also sure he’d spotted a vendor selling drinks on the way, specifically zhenzhu naicha. A blend of milk and black tea, plus a chewy tapioca topping. It was very popular among the younger cultivators. The drink had quickly become one of his favorites too, but he would never admit it. After some consideration, Jing Yuan finally put his scroll away. Well, it wouldn’t hurt to look around, if only for a moment.

He began to meander toward the town center, and more and more people filled the streets as he got closer. Soon, he was moving in and out of a sea of townsfolk. Conversations flowed like currents beneath the surface.

…What had he come here for again? The smell of baozi was overpowering now, but Jing Yuan found himself caught in the tides of life, just observing. Everything was constantly moving, constantly shifting; blink, and you would miss something. Life did not really change for one such as him, and so he stood unmoving, as a stone in a river would, mourning the vicissitudes of life. Sinking into mundanity with each passing year. Slowly, yet surely, eroding.

To always want to do something and to not do anything, to have that choice, as opposed to having eternity laid out before oneself and realizing that one can only walk this lonesome path to nowhere for so long.

Everything was constantly moving, constantly shifting; blink, and you would miss something.

A familiar face, one out of dozens, perhaps unremarkable to most, save for crimson eyes that pierced through the soul. A familiar voice, a familiar laugh, almost lost in the thunderous waves around them. At that moment, if Jing Yuan blinked—he feared this would all be but a dream.

It had to be him.

The lone white-haired man was the first to pause in his steps as they strode past each other. “Pardon me, xiuzhe. Have we met before?”

The lone dark-haired man walked a step further before realizing he was being addressed, then came to an abrupt stop. A moment’s hesitation. “No.”

Disappointment flashed imperceptibly across Jing Yuan’s face. “My apologies, then. You… just look like someone I used to know.”

“I see. Good day,” he replied. And there was nothing more to it. The other continued on his way. Time began moving again. The dream shattered.

A quiet sigh escaped Jing Yuan’s lips. As usual, nothing changed. He who had many names, from Yingxing to Ren, and lived many lives, would only remember one life, ever. What was he hoping for? He dared to allow himself this hope—that time could, perhaps, wait.

He had no reason to hope. Time did not wait for him centuries ago, at the precise moment Jing Yuan left everyone behind. Or, did everyone leave him behind? Death is a normal part of life; all would be courted by death someday, though some felt its embrace far too early. And some would never feel its embrace at all.

The same lingering regrets rose to the surface once more. One day, if the man remembered, Jing Yuan would tell him everything, from the long overdue apologies to the dreams they once shared. Let’s xiaqi later, it’s been forever. You owe me that rematch. I’m sorry I cannot be with you now. I haven’t forgotten. The glaive you made for me, I got to show it to heaven’s best swordsmith, and I told them your name. That you were the greatest blacksmith to ever walk this earth. I’m sorry I cannot fulfill our promise.

A promise, made many lifetimes ago, to meet again. The then-white-haired man had made Jing Yuan promise, but at death’s door, he seemed to have forgotten it would always be a one-sided promise.

The cycle of reincarnation wiped one clean, for better or for worse, save for their debt. He who had escaped the cycle watched his friends repay their debt over and over. How cruel of the heavens to spare him.

So he mused bitterly, as Yingxing—or Ren, or whatever he was called now—walked further, and further, and further into the sea. Leaving him behind. It didn’t bother him. He was used to it by now. Used to living through memories. One of the few things he could take solace in was how the choices that the five of them made would never leave him. For better or for worse, he remembered it all. The triumph and defeat. The elation and despair. The way they shook the heavens centuries ago had gone down in history. They were hailed as legends. But even legends die.

Jing Yuan was about to turn around when his eyes fell on a few other familiar faces encircling Yingxing, and his heart skipped a beat.

A young lady with red eyes smiled softly, as she listened to another young man bicker with a fluffy lavender-haired woman. The young man seemed to be motioning animatedly, only for the woman to bat playfully at him.

Their weapons were at their sides. Two swordsmen, an archer, a spearman.

Some things didn’t change after all.

More memories resurfaced now. A call to ganbei, as Baiheng laughed. Frequent sparring sessions with Dan Feng and Yingxing—they were always a delight. Jingliu’s intense gaze and strict training, which often left him panting but exhilarated. Once upon a time, he had made promises with them too. They were all carried away by the currents of time, one by one. When the waves subsided, Jing Yuan found himself completely alone for the last time.

At least in this life, then, they found each other again.

The moment of reminiscence dissipated as their forms blended into the crowd. He became vividly aware of himself, standing in the busy street, as people weaved around him.

This was time. Unceasing, unrelenting, unforgiving. If he didn’t move, time would move regardless.

Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice shout for him and he turned around. He blinked; he hadn’t realized how far he’d wandered. The town’s busiest street was a far cry from the quietude of the antique shop.

“Shifu… shifu!! I… finally caught up…” Yanqing burst out of the crowd, panting heavily.

Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow at the items in the youth’s arms; they weren’t there before. “Who told you to run off and buy swords?”

“But I didn’t! You were the one who said you weren’t going to go anywhere!” Yanqing pouted. “Besides… these are one-of-a-kind!”

Jing Yuan chuckled but faltered as he observed the swords.

The boy gestured to one sword in particular—gleaming ebony with golden cracks. Its tip was crimson, as though it were frozen in the state of creation.

“The laoban said this one was crafted centuries ago by Yingxing! That famous blacksmith! I’ve read all your scrolls on him. Why do you have so many? Anyway, it had to be re-forged, but it’s even more beautiful now… if you ask me,” Yanqing explained as he beamed proudly. “I can’t believe my luck! I’ve always wanted one of his swords.”

Jing Yuan finally smiled again and ruffled Yanqing’s hair. Yes, he was very lucky indeed. His gaze lingered on the weapon.

This was time. Unceasing, unrelenting, unforgiving. If he didn’t move, time would move regardless.

So he moved, and the hand that penned the past stopped. He’d come back to it later. He always did. It was a history worth writing, a proof that he and his friends were not just legends, but that they had lived, too.

But for now, he had new promises to fulfill. New histories to write. New legends to make.

As he and Yanqing began navigating the sea of people, the curious boy posed one more question.

“Shifu… maybe it’s not my place to ask, but what were you looking for?”

Jing Yuan considered his next words carefully.

“I just thought I saw some old friends.” He would say nothing more. “Come on, you’re too slow. That’s what you get for buying so many swords.”

Yanqing groaned as he picked up the pace. “I know…”

The duo, too, eventually disappeared within the sea.

Time… truly waits for no one.

[crushingcasanova]

Hi there :) I’m so sorry for my late response , things have been pretty freakin hectic .. i am here now , don’t worry :)

listening to you talk about theatre is so … mesmerizing. i love listening to people in general but .. its just so fun listening to you talking about that knowing how deeply you care about it. how its part of your life. im just sorta enamored（≧∇≦）

i agree , i absolutely adore fine arts. i just can’t get into anything else. its so awesome that you make jewelry!! ive been trying to get fully into it , but i cant seem to find the exact beads i need. but trust when i do .. its gonna be awesome. i do a lot of arts and crafts , and I really adore coloring. ive tried drawing but .. im so terrible , and i just hate being bad at things.

i definitely would say that i love people’s flaws .. usually those things are my favorite things about them ^^ but at the same time , i tend to get myself into bad relationships , then stay because “i can fix it! we will be fine and in love because ill help them!!” i bet you can guess how that turns out .. </3 i also agree that in most situations .. i don’t like to reach out , even if in my heart I do want to. i get nervous , and at times feel like if I didn’t reach out , no one would talk to me .. so i self isolate. im glad that im welcome here .. even if im kinda jsut like , a random person that doesn’t matter and is just yapping … </3

ughhh repurposing is so nice and so fun .. it makes you feel like you’re worth something , yk , giving an old piece a new home. its so rewarding. thrifting and antiquing is always rewarding , because almost every time i go , i find something. i almost never leave one of those stores empty handed .. (im also a shopaholic so ..) but its awesome that you do resin work !! is that calming ??

thank you so much for your kind words , i did get a good amount of sleep last night <333333 i have a few questions :)

what’s your fashion sense?

do you have any pets?

that’s it. thank you so much for letting me be here , hun !!

-🎭

Hello Cheshire <3 I quite missed you, so I was really happy to see you in my inbox again! I hope you've been well, dearie :) I know you mentioned it was hectic, so I hope you get a moment to relax!

I'm very honored that you like to hear me talk about theater! It's one of my biggest passions, honestly, because I adore being on the stage. I'd love to hear some of your favorite musical takes too, if you ever would like to share. I've always been into deep analysis, and I've done a lot for the Phantom and the Great Gatsby in particular :) I was lucky enough to see these before they closed, too, so I like to comment on the staging and the acting from the amazing actors who played my favorites. It also is a big inspiration for a lot of my writing, like this Great Gatsby one I did a while back about the beauty of Gatsby's obsession :) I hope you get those beads soon! I just started working with beaded jewelry a while back, and I make these kind of big pieces for some of my friends. I gifted my beloved a set inspired by them a while back and mailed it to them, and I'm planning to make some for my friends this year. I am sure you're not as bad at drawing as you say, but I think I completely understand the thought behind it. That's why I'm not really a fan of math, since I can never get better at it ... but I'm trying :) coloring is fun too, though! I completely understand self isolation, I used to be like that but I've changed a lot :) my beloved really stressed the importance of communication and taught me how to be more vulnerable and open up, but it's been an uphill battle. I don't think you're a random person who doesn't matter, dear! You bring a smile to my face with your messages, and it means a lot to know you care enough to talk to me too :) I agree with repurposing things :D It is lovely to give them their own home, I agree. It's kind of cute that you think of it like that :) I also am a bit of a shopaholic too, but I'm quite picky, so I usually leave empty handed. My resin work is quite fun! I would say it's a bit relaxing, but only at certain points in the process. The designing and the unmolding is fun, but not the pouring, because it starts to solidify quickly. You have to work quickly and then let it cure overnight if it's not UV resin. It can get a bit stressful As for your questions:

My fashion style is very cutesy, I'd say! A lot of skirts and sweaters, I usually don't wear jeans or other forms of pants very much to be honest. I wear a lot of pinks, blacks, purples, etc. I also am a big jewelry wearer, so I have a lot of that, and I usually am kind of maximalist when it comes to outfits. I also always have cute matching purses when possible :) I used to be a bit more like, hot topic emo style when I was younger, and I still shop there, but definitely less. I also wear a lot of dresses! I'm very hyperfeminine, I'd say, at least fashion wise. I think there are some pics somewhere on this blog, that I did for a follower special, or maybe some in love letter? Not sure! How do you like to dress?

I also do have a pet! I have a little black dog named stella :) she's a little cute miniature schnauzer mix! Do you have any pets, dear?

I hope this finds you well! I was so excited to answer this, sorry it took me a minute! Definitely took me a while to yap ^^;

[tieronecrush]

listen.... i know that halloween joel has been taking up so much real estate in our brains.. but for the sake of asking about a fic i know nothing about: PLS antique restorer joel is exactly what i need on this day 😵‍💫 ILYSM

AHHH KIWI! you have selected my nearest and dearest wip to ask about.

this one is *actually* called patina...the title hasn't been updated for my doc because this fic has actually been living in one of my notebooks. so i will try to summarize as best as i can!

oh! and it is my first OC fic!

Mabel Fletcher has been waiting for her life to feel like hers. Only thirty years old, and she feels worn, used, and discarded -- by family, friends, and especially her (pending) ex-husband, Bridger Monroe. All thirty of her years have been spent on the east coast, following a path carved out for her with such fine detail, if she stepped out mere centimeters, it felt like all would crumble. And, well, she was right. Leaving what she knows behind, Mabel moves herself across the country with a suitcase and a backpack to a small town near Monterey, California. Random, obscure, and totally off radar. Plus, the picturesque town reminded her of a version of home that wasn’t broken; the perfect setting to finally make her own choices and begin her first novel. She rents a cottage near the beach for a month, paranoia telling her to move on before she gets too settled. Building a routine quickly in her first few days, there's a mysterious man she encounters on the beach nearly every morning. Following her swimming and lounging on the sand, Mabel heads into town to the cafe, either picking up a to-go cup or sitting down to work. A curious young employee, Ellie, starts up conversation each time Mabel visits. One morning, following her same schedule, unable to shake the rigidity of her previous life, the mystery man approaches her after she comes out of the water. Introducing himself in a gruff manner, Joel Miller asks if she's the author his kid keeps talking about, and informs her that he runs and workshops out of the antique store in town. What she comes to know about Joel shapes their relationship through their differences, and it all finally feels like her choice. Whether it's the right one is to be discovered.

in each run-in after, tension thickens between the two of them, and, well, the rest is to be written. but i do have it planned! angst, fluff, smut, hurt/comfort, this fic will have it all!!!

that was a lot but i am very excited for this one. definitely won't be posting until it's all written though, sorry friends!

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

OFMD 2.04 - "Fun and Games" Thoughts

Under the cut! Spoilers aplenty within!

2.04 - Fun and Games

Oh my Godddd, I loved Anne and Mary so much, they were so hilarious, glorious, unhinged, terrifying, spectacular. They’re, like, what I think Eve and Villanelle would’ve really liked being able to picture themselves like as an established couple, when really they would’ve just been Stede and Ed. The madness! The stabbing, the poisoning, the burning your house down; all in a dinner party’s work! I was also obsessed with the set dressing of their house; in my second watch, I was just drinking in all the clutter and the detail in the background. Sometimes, you turn your pirate booty into an antique store in the middle of nowhere that nobody comes to. That’s just life! SUCH a fun and deranged adventure that I cherished utterly. Smacks of the Dinner Party episode of The Office in the best way. (And apparently Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, which both of these are harkening back to, but I haven’t gotten to that one yet! I should probably look into it though, knowing my taste in TV episodes about deranged dinner parties.)

I am a big nerd about looking at connections between corresponding episode numbers in each season, and I really liked how this episode, like 1.04, was about marriage and about getting burned out on marriage. In season one, we had Ed/Stede contrasted with Mary/Stede and Izzy/Ed, and here we’ve got Ed and Stede looking at their relationship in contrast to Mary and Anne’s. I like how this dinner party from hell really confronts them, especially Ed, with the reality of what it’s like to stay in that Toxic Drama Pirate Run from me, darling, run, my good wife Headspace forever (they’re all just in various stages of fucking each other over!), and gives him the perspective that it’s not worth it if it means that becoming his relationship with Stede. Really solidified at the end by Buttons’ miracle transformation after he imparted the wisdom about needing to change for love! And Ed being a doubter who became a believer because the proof was right in front of his beautiful face!

I really love that this episode highlighted Ed and Stede’s irrepressible fondness and liking for each other, which is the thing that made them fall for each other so fast and so totally back in 1.04. You just can’t keep a force like that down! Ed being like “I’m not gonna melt back into your arms!” and then proceeding to melt at Stede’s earnest love for him, especially in the wake of his “I’m unlovable” profession in the gravy boat, was just so much. And Stede being so sincere and so romantic!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you! I love everything about you! Breathing the same air!! I don’t even know what to say about that!!!!! They haven’t invented words yet!!!!!!!!! It felt very good to witness with my mere human eyes and ears!!!!!!

Ed saying he was all in!!!!! Twice!!!!!!!! Because Luke/Lorelai never leaves me!!!!!!!!!

Their fighting and their tense moments were wonderful too; so satisfying to be reminded of how much Ed doesn’t know and how much communicating they totally haven’t done, and to finally get to see them starting to wrestle with this stuff onscreen! Also, Ed hiding himself under a blanket on the sofa was so valid. Iconic. The best.

I have felt that line about being insecure about the beard shaving coming since 1.10 aired – I think I worked a version of it into a few fanfics, only one of which got posted – and so getting to actually see it happen onscreen was thrilling. STEDE LOVES HIS CHIN!!!!!! Also, that little compliment about him liking the beard length and Ed being like, “................. Thank you.” I’m a wreck!

Mary’s monologue about them being 14 year old boys who don’t know about relationships was absolutely incredible and incredibly delivered. I don’t know if I, er, agree with her (and hey, she got a surprise from her boo right after that! 🔥 Maybe it’s not all just waiting to see which one of you will die first after all!), but the delivery was just glorious and it tickled me in the context of D. Jenks’ various remarks in interviews about Ed/Stede being, emotionally, a teenage romance at this stage.

I must give some individual props to Anne’s absolutely unhinged energy and the apparently accepted-among-pirates truth that she’s a total psycho while Mary has sort of descended into violent madness over the years. The face-stealing romantic yarn, lolol! I want Anne and Mary to come back at least once. I need them.

Stede absolutely sprinting back to the ship (or trying to) after his and Ed’s Very Casual conversation about Ed staying one more night, ahahaha. And the way Ed watched him go! His lil’ schmoopy face! Who knew a few mere years ago that Taika Waititi would be one of TV’s top contenders for incomparable heart eyes??? And then Buttons, there to make it weird yet also so wise and helpful! (I really hope Buttons isn’t a bird forevermore. I NEED HIM. First The Swede and now Buttons? My heart can’t take it! I know the only constant in life is change, and yet. No.)

Ed’s reunions with Mary and Anne both made me really happy. He needs HUGS!

Bunny. Or, I guess: wolfy. RIP. 😢 (Maybe another little life lesson/warning for Ed. If you stay in this deranged pirate mentality, you ARE going to have to keep eating your friends! Either metaphorically or literally!)

In other storyline news: I also loved everything about the crew’s adventure on the ship! The scene where they were all appraising each other on the deck trying to decide if things were going to escalate to violence was so heart-wrenching and so funny all at once. Ugh, poor traumatized bbs! And poor Izzy! And I love that what brought the crew back together again was a) caring about one of their own who’s having the worst and loneliest time of it (and that’s saying something!), and b) arts and crafts. Arts! And! Muthaflippin’ CRAFTS!

(I’m very sad that they couldn’t enjoy Roach’s cake. I hope that the cake trauma passes. That’s no way to live.)

Izzy allowing himself one small smile when he was alone staring forward at the sea was so much. 🥺

I also loved Wee John’s sweater and the fact that he was knitting the whole time. VIBES. 🧶

I’m so thrilled that Rachel House was here (PAULA HALL: CHILD WELFARE, CINEMA’S MOST MAGNIFICENT VILLAIN ALWAYS!!!!!) and that they ended this episode with the same song as Hunt for the Wilderpeople in what felt certainly like a deliberate homage! (Esp. with Ed and Stede walking off into the wilderness together while having a fun chat.) Hunt for the Wilderpeople ALWAYS. 💚💚💚💚💚 Weird Reverend/Psycho Sam ALWAYS.

[paleneckauthorcowboy]

I'm posting the last I have fic I currently have written in the c!Kestin timeline, more might come later but I'm not sure. I don't really have any TWs other than HABIT being in this fic, and c!Kestin is slightly spiraling.

Life's better now, I'm happier, and things are actually normal. I don't know how I'm alive though, but I guess that doesn't really matter. I'm here now, somehow I ended up in New Jersey. I sit up from my bed and stretch a bit letting out a groan. I'm not a morning person. I get out of bed and make my way over to the bedroom door, I open it and am face to face with my boyfriend(s). I jumped a bit, not out of fear or anything, I just didn't expect it. 

"Morning starshine, the earth says hello!" Habit greets me, or at least I think it's Habit. I smile at him as he gets out of the way so I can pass through the doorway. "Good morning, who am I talking to right now though? Sorry it's just really early." I ask as he rubs his chin, "first of all, it's 11 am, that's not early. Secondly, you gotta guess. If you get it right, you get a kiss." He chuckled and looked at me with a smirk. I sighed and looked back at him, he likes playing games even when I'm tired. "I'm gonna say... Habit, mainly because of how you greeted me, and how you're looking at me." I didn't add the fact that Habit always makes me guess, while Evan just tells me upfront who he is. 

"Ding-ding-ding, bullseye! Good job, sweet pea! You want that kiss now or later?" He leans his face a bit into mine, waiting for confirmation before he does anything, so I just lean in the rest of the way and give him a peck on the lips. "I'll take that as a 'now' then." We both laugh as he leans back and starts walking to the kitchen, I follow behind him. "So, any big plans for today?" He asked as I sat down at the table, he placed a cup of coffee in front of me, it's made just how I like it. In his words 'overwhelming sweet with a shit ton of creamer.' But no matter how much he critiques, he always makes it the same. I really love that about him. 

"Well, Evan and I are going to go walk around downtown, maybe stop by some new stores, and then we're going to go walk a few trails!" I described our day in detail, mainly because I've been looking forward to it all week. I always love spending time with Evan and Habit, even if I can only talk to one of them at once; I always know that the other is listening. It feels nice. "Right, I forgot about your little date today." He replied, I doubt he actually forgot, he's just teasing. "Yeah, so I'm gonna need Evan back, hun." I retorted, smiling sweetly at him. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I just wanted to see my pretty boy first." He grinned as leaned over and kissed my cheek. I can't lie, I love it so much when he calls me his, well anything. I just like knowing that I'm his. 

"Well, it's good to see you too, but Evan and I need to get going. I love you." I beamed and kissed his cheek. "Fine, fine." He sighed and basically just flung Evan back into control. Evan does a little stretch and smiles at me. "Morning, are you ready to go?" Evan wastes no time to get going, in case a certain demon with a BAD HABIT  of interrupting chooses to butt in. We get into the car and drive downtown, chatting about random topics ranging from new video games we want to play, to talking about ideas for stories, to even stories of the past.

We stopped by a few stores, the first was a beautiful antique store. We bought a few things, I got an old looking typewriter and a few stuffed animals; Evan grabbed an adorable tea set and a gorgeous jewelry box. Next we went to a vintage record store, mainly at Habits request; and a bargaining chip to get him to leave Evan alone for a little while. Finally, we went to the trails and hiked for a while, although I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched, but I kept it to myself. 

I must have been spacing out while walking because I felt Evan nudge me a little, I looked over at him."Did you hear what I said?" Evan asked as I stared for a second. "Oh, no, I'm sorry. I think I zoned out for a second." I admitted that I hadn't been paying attention, he nodded. "It's fine, I just asked if you wanted to head home after this trail." He repeated himself, being patient with his boyfriend, like he normally is. "Oh, yeah. That'd probably be a good idea. We most likely don't wanna be out when it gets dark, I don't need to deal with ghosts and stuff." I stated, which was true; I don't want to deal with any supernatural forces. Well, other than Habit. Life is normal now and I don't want that to change.

We finished the trail, Evan had to just give me a piggyback ride to the car because my back hurt. He didn't seem to mind though. He was rambling on about Bioshock and I was about half listening, mainly because my mind started to wander to other places. The past. Both Evan and Habit know that I have an issue of reminiscing on time long gone and that sometimes it makes me kind of spiral. But it's not going to be like that this time, things are normal. I am better. 

Before I even seem to realize it, Evan is pulling into the driveway. I lift my head from the passenger seat window and stretch my back a bit. We get out and Evan walks me to the door. "I've got to pick up my sister and drive her to her friend's house, but I'll be back. Are you going to be alright by yourself?" Evan asks, he seems a little worried. He probably noticed that my mind had been drifting quite a bit. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just tired from talking almost all day." It wasn't entirely a lie, I was tired from today. But, I think we could tell that wasn't the whole truth. "Well, okay. But if you need anything, and I mean it when I say anything. Whether it be a hug, some food or to help you beat a video game. Just call and I'll be over as fast as I can." Evan finished his spiel, I smiled. He always seems to have a way of making me feel less tense. "I know, and thank you. It really means a lot." I kissed him on the cheek and he did the same. I watched him pull out of the driveway and waved goodbye before I entered the house. 

I head upstairs and plop onto our shared bed, pulling out my phone and just scrolling on a random app. I do that for about 30 minutes before I see on my timeline, an 'on this day, 18 years ago.' A picture of me.... and Brian. I felt a small ping in my chest, a reminder of how much I miss him, not just him but my old life too. I stare at the photo for what seems like forever, my mind running through old memories, good and bad. But before I could let myself spiral I put my phone down and exited the app. 

I'm better now, I can't let myself get dragged down by the past. I sit up in bed, knowing damn well it'll do me no good moping and burying my face in the pillow, just hoping for something that's never going to return. I get up and walk down to the kitchen, grabbing a glass from the cabinet. I walk over to the fridge and dispense some water, taking a mouthful before I pop an ibuprofen in my mouth and swallow. I walk over to the counter and stand there for a little while. Then I heard a noise behind me, I assume it's either Evan or Habit, so I turned around with a smile; but what I saw quickly wiped the smile off of my face and the glass out of my hand. 

It was Brian, or I guess more accurately Hoodie. He's looking down at me as I stare back at him, too stunned to speak. But I was quickly pulled from my trance when the glass cup that was in my hand shattered on the floor. I looked down, almost in a panic; though I swiftly recovered. Opening my mouth to speak, although it took a few minutes for my thoughts to fully process into words. "Brian? Is that really you?" I sounded almost hopeful, so astonished that he might actually be in front of me. We stood in silence for a few moments before he finally said something.

"Yeah, it's me." I couldn't get a good reading on how he was feeling but I did notice a slight shake in his voice. I stepped forward, over the broken glass. "I... I'm happy to see you again.." I just barely mumbled, but I'm pretty sure he heard me. We stood in silence again. "I'm also sorry for how things ended. I'm sorry for what you had to see and that you had to find me, I mean.. I assume it was you..? Either that or it was him.." I rambled a bit trying to break the awkward tension. "Before you ask, no, I don't know how I'm alive or why." I added in. I just want him to talk, say anything.

Suddenly, he opened his arms. I just let myself fall into them. We had our arms wrapped around one another. "I missed you, like, a lot." I just blurt into his chest. "I missed you too. It's good to see you too, even though I was shocked." Brian rubbed my back like he did all those years ago, I felt tears well up in my eyes. "I'm still so sorry for leaving like I did." I spouted, he stopped what he was doing and put his hands on my shoulders. "Hey, No. Don't apologize. It wasn't your fault, you were hurting and you took the only way out that you saw. And I'm not going to get mad at you for it. All that matters is that you are here and you are happy. You are happy, right?" He ranted a bit but still checked on me. 

"Yes, I'm very happy." I smile at Brian. He lifts up his mask and takes it off. He's smiling too. That same goofy gapped tooth smile that I remember. My heart felt warm, it's been years and yet he can still make me grin like an idiot. "I also saw that you have a new boyfriend." He teased me, poking my cheek. "Yeah, I do. Well, technically I have two new boyfriends." I retorted as he raised an eyebrow. "Two?" He asked with a slight smirk. "Yes, two, by technicality. The guy you saw is possessed by a demon whom I am also dating." I explained as I saw Brian rubbing his chin. "Damn, I guess you'd call that..." He paused, I looked at him. "Brian, don't you dare!" I exclaimed as he chuckled. "A two for one deal." I groaned as he laughed at his own joke.

"I see some things just never change. But that's good, I like you goofy." I hugged him again and he returned it. Things are good, they can finally really be normal. I finally have my reunion with my beloved brother.

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

Sicktember 23 : Cold Case

(15. Sick in an Inconvenient Place + 24. “Did you just sneeze?”)

The detective's throat hurt.

Without leaving from sight the stuffy room, he massaged it slowly. His eyes were drier than usual, too. He blinked furiously. All for nothing, of course. No one was there yet; just him, a stupid little private eye freezing in a stupid little store that wasn’t heated. At least this time he was inside while it was snowing.

He’d already made good decisions in his life. It had happened ! Accepting this case had not been one of these. Not because of the case itself, oh no; it was – or at least, he hoped – rather simple. No corpse, for a start. That was a nice beginning for an inquiry. The client himself was much more of a problem. It was the first time that the detective had a rich collector among his clients, and if he was lucky, he’d be the last before long. The phone call that had begun it all had been one-hundred twenty eight (128. Honest.) minutes long well before his opening hours. The client had spent the first thirty seconds to explain that one of his greatest treasures had been taken from him, that was to say a priceless painting, and the rest to describe how miserable he was and the impacts on his social and financial life. Two hours left more than enough time to become salty, so the detective had asked:

“If that painting was that priceless, isn’t its place in a museum ?”

The client’s voice had become as frosty and hard as the weather outside.

“This painting is in my family since generations. Haven’t you heard, sir? It was stolen in a museum, because I lent it for an exposition.”

The detective had rubbed his temples and glanced at his alarm clock. 8:15. He’d never been at his brightest before 10 AM. Especially when he had been woken up toward 6 AM, all for a painting and some guy who was taking him for some kind of therapist. Yes, he’d heard about the stealing. Only he’d paid it no attention. It wasn’t often that rich guys were coming to him. The biggest mystery, really, was why the client had called him, but he’d needed the money, so he’d gone to work. A quick examination of the museum had told him that the thieves couldn’t have gone out by the main entrance or by the exit. There had to be a third way. Crime was always on the rise in this time of the year, and police and him didn’t get along too well, so as always he’d had no one else to help him. The museum security hadn’t been understanding either, so he hadn’t been able to make a very detailed search. Fine. He’d left out the place, and had tried to determinate if it’d been the only theft done in the same style, no matter how insignificant. It had been a laborious search, to enter all these stores only weeks before Christmas. He’d been shouted at, he’d been slapped once, and he’d been so very, very cold. While the days were going by, it’d been harder to get out of bed. He’d felt his throat hurting, his stomach growling, and sometimes he’d felt feverish. Used tissues piled up in his bin, and it took gallons and gallons of tea with honey to make him feel a little better. There was no time to rest, though. His medical appointment kept being postponed. The grumpier he was, the harder he wanted to catch the thief. Mostly though, it was because the client would not leave him be. Every day he called to complain. There was no polite way left to get him to shut up. The detective made his morning coffee while the phone whined on the table, and he’d only occasionally turn his head to add a “hmm” or “sure.” It wasn’t like he could turn it off altogether. Unlike what the collector seemed to thought, he actually had other clients.

Still, his work had paid off. All signs pointed to a little antique store next to the museum. He was pretty sure now that there was an entrance that connected the two buildings – and, if he was lucky, the painting might have been still in here. Judging by its description, it wasn’t something you could hide or carry easily.

After a bit of breaking and entering – he swore he’d pay for the damage - he’d settled in there and crouched behind an authentic-genuine-I-swear post-prehistoric chest of drawers. The perk of being small – or, as he’d liked to call it, a very reasonable height – was that in the middle of all these objects, he was invisible. He’d been waiting for a long time now. Hours and hours in the dark without moving too much, without getting asleep, without doing anything but watch. It’d been tedious. But the ray of light he could peek at just now told him that it hadn’t been for nothing. Said ray of light belonged to a flashlight that belonged to a long, bulky shape in black.

There you go.

The form extirpated itself from a hole in the stone wall, that had been hidden before by a bookshelf. One slightly slimmer shape followed up, then a tiny, tiny third that made him tilt his head in confusion. Maybe it wasn’t a child. He hoped it wasn’t a child.

Three whole humans. Right. Sure. His throat hurt a lot more all of the sudden, and it wasn’t because of the cold. He’d better believe he was as invisible as he wished, because the first one had something in their hand that very much looked like a gun. Of course, he had his own. That wouldn’t do much good because it was loaded with blanks. The only thing worse than risking being killed was risking killing another person. He wasn’t sure he could bluff against three. On the other hand, if he wasn’t noticed, it was his early Christmas present. He was paying them a visit just the night they were making another trip to the museum. What for, though ?

“A good thing we have done”, mumbled the first one. “That painting would have ruined us.”

Wait, what ? The second shape seemed to slap lightly the third, who whined in protest and stepped back.

“How was I supposed to know it was a fake ?”

Wait. What.

“Yeah, let the kid alone,” neglectfully said the first shape; “good thing someone had a brain cell inside his skull and checked with Dr Garner.”

The detective took note of the name, but he was still too flabbergasted to precisely hear what they were saying. So that was why the police hadn’t been that interested into that theft and the museum security had given him the cold shoulder. They must have known. Bastards, they could have told him ! Else he wouldn’t have been risking his neck for a fake painting that had been given back. As for his client, he’d never killed anyone in his life, but he was very much tempted to at least try to strangle him a bit.

Still, those bozos were going to be arrested. He didn’t like the kind of fire they carried around. He liked even less the kind of guys who bullied kids. He couldn’t catch them now if he wanted to live a little longer, but he wasn’t in a rush. He just had to wait for them to drop a clue.

So he stayed and stayed and stayed. He barely dared to move and had no idea of the time. Fortunately it was December and dawn wouldn’t break before very long. The thieves were still taking their sweet time, though. Oh, they spilled the beans all right. They let out names and addresses and other things that could be easily checked. He had them. He had them good. It was worth it. Sure. But there were also long, long silences that reminded him that it had been hours since he was in the same position and there still wasn’t any heating and the slightest noise would mean a bullet in the head. His throat was killing him but as long as it was the only thing killing him, he would be fine. Right ? Right. He could take it. He was a persistence hunter. The ache in every muscle in his body and his burning forehead and his vocal chords on fire meant nothing, so long as he got out alive with all those precious hints.

And then, the first shape took a step back and accidentally knocked down a table. It was far too close from him for his taste, but he was relieved to see it didn’t affect the little barricade of furniture who protected him. He let out a big sigh, unaware of the dust cloud that the table had moved, accidentally breathing it.

The second shape started.

“Did you just sneeze?” they asked awkwardly to the first.

“No,” answered the first, drawing out a gun, passing so very close to a shadow huddled into a corner with his hands on his mouth and nose and his eyes wide.

“I didn’t.”

*

Back to Hero x Villain Masterlist (I know I'm reaching)

[maladaptive-jcb]

Chapter 2: Strokes of Familiarity

Jamie x female!reader fanfic

(fluff, safe for under 18)

Click here for chapter 1 if you missed it.

Summary: Reader is an independent artist who lives on her own in a small town and meets Jamie, a musician, in an art studio where their budding relationship formed through shared interests of different forms of art.

Warning: There will be talks about trauma and PTSD from domestic abuse and dissociative episodes throughout the story.

“Helloooo? Y/n? I said there’s another stack of books coming,” Adrian, my manager snapping his fingers in front of me.

“Oh, right. Sorry,” I say apologetically.

“What’s up with you today? You’ve been day dreaming a lot.”

There’s not a lot of employees here. It’s just me and a couple younger people who are looking for extra cash. I was Adrian’s first co-worker here and we’re more like family now than just co-workers to be honest. Adrian is older than me so he has more of that big brother energy. His thick reading glasses and brown slick-back hair were the first few things I noticed when I applied for the job.

“I’m sorry, Adrian. I didn’t mean to. Alright, look! I’m focused now!” Smacking my face with both hands in front of him to prove it.

“It’s not just that, you’re a lot… smiley… today. I don’t think I like it. You’re creeping me out,” he looks at me over his now lowered glasses.

“Oh, it's um- It's nothing, okay? I'm going to unload the books now. Now may I please go or are you gonna keep interrogating me?"

He squints his eyes at me. "This is not over, y/n."

Adrian has always been protective of me, especially when he knows the whole reason I moved up here. Telling him about a guy I just talked today is probably not a good idea. Besides, what is there to tell? That I had a coffee with a guy from class? I shouldn't even be all smiley about it yet.

There’s a lot of book donations coming here surprisingly. I clean them up a little before unloading according to their categories. Mystery, fantasy, true crime, science fiction, autobiography, vampires… You get it.

____

I glance at the antique clock sitting on the cashier's counter. It's 5:40 p.m. so it's close to closing time. That also means that he's almost here. I pick up the broom to sweep off some dusty areas while wondering if I even have the time to change my clothes. Although, crazy as it may sound, Jamie being spontaneous also got me all excited. I look around the store and Adrian is already leaving as he lets me close up after him. I finally let a tiny giggle escape my mouth now that I'm no longer within his earshot.

He’s here.

Jamie is five minutes early. Seeing his car pulling up suddenly turns my stomach into a knot. Why am I anxious? It’s just dinner between friends, right?

Before I get to open the car, he stops me and gets out from his seat. “Wait!” He did a little jog towards me and then opens the door for me instead.

“M’lady,” in his teasing tone again.

“My, my. Mr. Gentleman.”

Of course he looks amazing right now. Grey shirt with top half unbuttoned slightly revealing his tattooed chest, paired with a leather jacket that hugs his frames perfectly. His hair swept messily to the side and subtle silver chain on his neck. I step into the car and he carefully closes it before running back to his side and gets in.

“You’re early,” I say.

“And hungry!” he exclaims back. “I know this really good Italian place, if you don’t mind?”

“Oh, yes I love Italian!” finally sensing my hunger. Apparently the knots in my stomach has more than one reason to appear.

“Perfetto!” his chef kiss motion follows along with it. “It’s kinda nice to have someone to go out with since I’m new in town. Thanks for joining me tonight,” he smiles gratefully.

“Well I didn’t really have a choice, didn't I?” teasing him about driving off before I could say anything.

“You were gonna say yes anyway though, weren’t you?”

“Well, I-“

“Yeah. That’s what I thought,” his tone in playful mocking.

“Wow, really?” I jokingly scoff at him.

He starts the car and drives off to the main highway. I usually walk around town to get from one place to another. I have never gone this far through the highway except that one time Adrian needed me to pick up some new shipments with him. I'm starting to wonder if he's actually about to kidnap me.

“You know… I’ve wanted to talk to you too. In class,” his face focused on the road. Fingers tapping on the steering wheel.

“Oh?” My train of thoughts disappear as he spoke.

“It’s just, I feel so out of place there and I’m always struggling. I didn’t know what you would think of me. I mean, you’re very talented. It’s amazing.”

He did a quick glance at me before focusing back on the road. No smile this time. Just a look of serenity… or admiration? I can’t tell. It’s getting dark and the low light is casting subtle shadows that somehow highlight his jawlines even more.

“That’s… Wow. Thank you so much, Jamie.”

He glances at me again. That same look.

I clear my throat.

“But you’ve been improving so much too! I love some of your recent work. I’m very surprised how fast you learned."

A smile curls up his lips. His eyes give a faint glimmer in the shadows. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely,” I put my hand on his shoulder reassuringly. His fingers stop tapping as I did.

“Will you give me some tips next time we’re in class?”

I can feel myself beaming. “I thought you’d never ask.”

____

Chapter 3

Seems like you have a new budding friendship with Jamie now! Wonder how your dinner with him will go next? 🤔

[tarabyte3]

No question, just wanted you to know that you're lovely and talented and I hope you're doing ok (hopefull better than ok, you deserve it). ❤️

This is so fucking sweet and I appreciate it so much that every time I look at it, I start crying. Thank you for checking up on me 💖😭 I am struggling to find words to express how much it means to me.

So I am going to use this answer to post an update for everyone.

Short answer: I'm not doing great.

BUT I believe that anyone who is able and willing to share their mental health journey should. Both to normalize the struggle AND so that anyone else quietly going through the same thing doesn't feel so alone or as though it's their fault. Because it isn't our fault! We don't deserve this, and it's cruel our own brains tell us we do.

Also getting it out is just therapeutic sometimes!

Therefore the long answer under the cut.

CW: discussion of mental health and depression

I want to preface this with: I'm safe. I have no intrusive or physically harmful thoughts. 💖

But I'm really struggling. I feel like shit most of the time. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The winter blues have me in a chokehold and are preventing me from doing things that I enjoy doing to help me feel better.

When you're depressed, it can be difficult to do basic tasks. It can feel impossible to do things like self-care, exercise, or to work on creative projects.

I thrive on creative projects. I need enrichment in my enclosure!! When I don't have them or can't do them, it makes me feel actively worse.

I haven't been able to work on my fic because right now my brain is an undercooked scrambled egg in a mesh colander. I get about 100 words out (I'm at ~2.5k words for this next chapter, which is about half done, I would guess) and then I just stare blankly at my screen. Which sucks because I have the vision for what I want to write in my head (😏), but no way to get it to come out of my brain.

(Side note: thank god for gif making and Andy content because it's the one thread keeping me from bolting into the woods, never to return)

I also have a few home decor, painting, and craft projects I could work on, but I lack motivation due to depression.

It's just an ouroboros of "depressed so I can't be creative" and "need to be creative so I'm not depressed." 🙃

We're getting wave after wave of winter weather here (right now we're in a massive ice storm), which is keeping me indoors. Being cooped up is rough on me. I need to be active. I'm just a complicated houseplant—probably a calathea as we are both drama queens.

I'm also finding it difficult to exercise due to: you guessed it! The sads. My beloved rowing machine, stationary bike, treadmill, and yoga mat sit neglected.

I am also eating far too much bread. Which, while immediately satisfying, is unfortunately not a long term solution because it's actively contributing to me feeling worse 😂

I reached out to try and find a personal trainer to help with the lack of motivation, get me out of the house, have a routine, AND get some workout endorphins to kickstart my healthy habits back into gear, but I haven't heard a single thing back from any of them. Which is disheartening.

Especially since another fun symptom of depression is feeling completely fucking alone and ignored. Which is rude AF, btw.

I'm going to keep making Andy gifs and crossing my fingers that the weather lets up so I can leave the house. Maybe go to some thrift and antique stores or a plant store. That always makes me feel better!

So other than some far more personal struggles with having a chronically ill teenager, there you have it!

I appreciate all of you for helping keep me sane and connected, even though I haven't been logging on as much as I had been due to being too busy staring at a wall and contemplating whether or not I should eat more bread. (I should NOT. …or should I?)

Truly. Thank you. 💕🥹🥺

[ghoulishbuck]

This post is for those who want to know places to get books or where I personally get mine. If you would like to add places please leave them in the comments.

Ways I acquire books:

•Libby- this is an app that connects with your library card(s). 90% of what I read I loan from my library using this as audiobooks and ebooks at times are easier for me to use.

•Kindle Unlimited- I own an old fire tablet that I just got two months of kindle unlimited for free on but personally I won’t continue it after it ends because I have a hard time with ebooks.

•Amazon- I rarely buy things on here now but they do often have a lot of books on sale. I do also browse for deals on ebooks and have gotten a plethora of ones I’m interested in for free.

•Secondhand stores- most of my collection comes from secondhand/ thrift stores. I very rarely buy a book from chain stores or for full price. This also includes antique stores.

•PangoBooks- 98% of the time if I want to buy a specific book I’ll look for it here before I look elsewhere. They also at times do give out coupons like spend $20 get $5 off.

•NetGalley- every now and then I’ll request digital arcs (ebooks and audiobooks that aren’t released yet). As long as you read the books you request and review them (or state you DNF’ed and why) on the site and keep your ratio at least at 80% of all accepted request reviewed you’re golden. But, having another place where you talk and review books does increase your chances. Personally, I have my Goodreads and Instagram account linked to help even though I haven’t touched my Instagram account in awhile.

•Library- I’ve barely checked out any books in person since I got my library card but that’s purely because I’m really trying to read my physical tbr and stay away from adding more to it.

•Gifts- if people ask me what I want for something for example my 21st birthday which is a few months away I’ll either say a certain book, an author, or a gift card to someplace that sells books. Sometimes I’ll say other things depending on the person. Now that doesn’t mean I’m expecting a bunch of books especially new ones in fact when I gave someone a list of books and author names I only gave them things that I thought they could easily find in a thrift store and always remind them that it’s not a list of things that needs to be completely bought but more of a scavenger hunt that they can end at anytime.

•Audible- for awhile I had a subscription mostly due to multiple free trials and it not cancelling even after I cancelled… Anyways, I prefer using Libby.

•Half Price Books- this is both a secondhand store and not. A good chunk of my books have come from here although these days this is mostly only my go to when I’m near one, when I don’t have time for a thrift store (I will look at nearly the entire place), or when I’m hoping to find certain more popular books.

•Barnes & Nobles- I very rarely went to Barnes even when I lived near one but every now and then I would buy some books from there. I do wish I could be near one when they do their 50% off hardcover sale they usually do on the 26th of December.

•Giveaways- I’ve won quite a few e-book giveaways on Goodreads. Personally, I’ve only won one physical giveaway and never received it. Which is pretty 50/50 when it’s the publisher doing the giveaway from what I understand.

•Dollar Tree- this is pretty hit or miss but whenever I go I make sure to check out their book section because they do sometimes have books I am interested in.

•Target- their price on books especially viz manga always gets me. Along with the deals they do every now and then like buy one get one 50% off or buy two get one free.

•Walmart- they also have about the same pricing for books as Target does but the only extra deal they do is for books they put on clearance which they put in cardboard bins.

•Book Outlet- discounted books that are pretty cheap although condition can vary. Not like extremely bad but like I have gotten a book with a small rip in the cover, the cover smushed on the top and bottom of the spine and a broken spine on a hardcover. I just think it’s better to know what the condition could be be before going into it. As long as your fine with the chance of getting that I highly recommend it. They are currently doing a fiction books sale right now where their only $5.99 and everything else is 20% off. Just dropping my referral link below if you use it you get $5 off of a $25 or higher order.

•Rightstuf (rip now is under Crunchyroll)- they had some great deals on manga, graphic novels, anime figures, and anime. I sadly didn’t take part in the birthday sale even though I really wanted to but I did make one or two purchases from them and had a good experience.

•Book of the Month- I’ve been getting books from them for just about to be a year and one month. I personally have really enjoyed it but I also will read anything that interest me and usually even if I don’t care for the months picks after watching people react to them and talk about them I want to pick up at least one of them. Book of the Month referral below.

•Aardvark- I got this one month with the discount code they always have where you get your first book for $4. There’s been a few books I wanted that they have but it’s been too rare for me.

Other ways that I haven’t yet done:

•Library sales- every now and then libraries will sell the books they no longer plan to keep in circulation and the profits go directly to the library.

•Little Free Libraries- these are strictly take a book leave a book deals. Most of these are run by a book lover who just wants to make books more accessible to people but they have to take the money out of their own pocket to keep it filled.

•Asking Publishers for physical arcs- this is the one I’m most anxious about and know the least about. From what I heard you have better chances of getting accepted for physical arcs if you have a big following. And it’s better to wait until you have had a book blog be somewhat regularly active (every week or two minimum) for six months. After that point you have to send an email to the publisher specifically asking for a certain physical arc(s), link your blog, make it professional sounding and just cross your fingers.

•Independent bookstore- I live in the middle of nowhere so the closest one to me is over two hours away (this is actually the closest bookstore period) and it’s also pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I just have a hard time paying full price so even though I love browsing through a bookstore the drive just for the bookstore that’s full price isn’t worth it.

•ThriftBooks- I like to know the condition I’m buying books in so I’ve never bought something from here as new could actually mean good condition depending on the person.

•SciFier- this is what a lot of people especially in the UK use especially for manga. It’s like a Rightstuff but from what I’ve seen better.

•eBay- I feel more comfortable with Pango’s system of just incase the seller screw’s you over than with eBay’s so I’ve never bought anything from here.

•Facebook Marketplace- I don’t have Facebook so I’ve never used this but I have seen some good deals.

•Garage/Yard/Estate Sales- I haven’t been to any of these in quite some time but when I did go things were quite cheap because they just wanted to get rid of things.

•Illumicrate- special edition book subscription service

•Fairyloot- special edition book subscription service

•Owlcrate- special edition book subscription service

•Broken binding- special edition book subscription service

•Forbidden planet- Manga, books, comics and figures store

•Indigo- Canada’s verison of Barnes & Nobles