#I also learned a new stitch that I really like
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#the part of the pattern I’m reverse engineering#the one that looks like caustic lines#the back of it is kinda ugly….#and it’s spacious#and so idk if I can put it in my own pattern and have it be reversible at the same time#my old pattern works bc it’s not as spacious#and so the pattern looks fine when it’s alternated#but idk about this one y’all#my options are figure out how to fill it in#how to condense it so it doesn’t take as much space while also retaining the visual clarity#or to not include it all#I don’t like any of those options#the secret fourth option would be to give up ont he reversible idea#but that’s non-negotiable#ugh#anyway#so far figuring out the pattern wasn’t nearly as hard as I expected it to be#so that’s a plus#I also learned a new stitch that I really like#I am just generally having fun with this as a whole#like I want to design more shawls now#or even blankets#preferably blankets tbh#I don’t like shawls nor do I like wearing crocheted things#but crochet blankets are fine#and I’d like to be able to actually use the things I make#(most of the time)#(this shawl being the exception)#ooh wait#I might’ve figured out a way to make it reversible but it might also make it super bulky
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i dont think that dakota would get into fiber arts on his own but i DO think that knitting could fix him
#pd#a classic case of me being so so wrong and so right at the same time#i think that it would be enough of a 'classic grandma hobby' for him to like#not think that it's really difficult to get into until its too late#and it would give him like. math that he would get to physically work through and comprehend#unique problems to solve#and i dont think anyone would really point out that these are difficult things or that he's smart for solving them#but i think it would be harder for him to consider himself Stupid Muscle when he figured out how to turn a heel on a sock#or figured out how to keep track of his rows and patterns consistently without slipping stitches#like stuff that Sounds simple but is actually really fucking horrifying to a beginner who JUST learned how to cast on#also i think it would give him a way to rest without feeling like he's resting#sit down and watch some tv with his boys while he heroically knits hats for babies#and heat packs on his legs and bandages on his arms#and surprise him when he doesnt hurt as much the next morning#id say its also a good time to think about morality and his black and white views but tbh i dont think he'd think about that#he'd be too busy devising new and evil toppings to put on pizza#pizza towers#but the point is that he'd be happy#and resting#and get to SEE the fruit of his efforts growing in his hands#and have problems that he can promise to fix and KNOW that he'll be able to fulfill that promise#and nothing shitty like a trickster tearing his best friend in half will make him break it#knitting: colestyle
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learning how to swiss darn has made me insufferable to myself, but i stay having fun with it
#so theoretically anything you can do to your knitting you could conceivably also do to your swiss darning right?#so i really wanna learn self-reinforcing knitting stitches (like heel stitch or eye of partridge stitch) so i can use them for darning#but tbh i should probably practice the base stitch more first#i have only done... two projects with it. and i'm still not confident in it enough that i could do it while playing ttrpgs with my friends#(which is really the important metric of handcraft competency in my life)#but i don't wannaaaaa slowly improve my skills so i have a good foundation before i branch out. i wanna do something NEW#in other news i have been making progress on seeking effective adhd treatment lately#but insofar as a ''there'' will ever exist in this arena we certainly are not there yet
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Something I think is interesting is that on Ravelry, free knit patterns tend to be downloads and free crochet patterns tend to link to a blog post. Like to a noticeable degree, if I find a knit pattern I can usually download a pdf whereas the crochet patterns are free on blog pages with ads and you have to pay for a PDF without ads. Which I'm not even necessarily complaining about, I just think it's interesting
#disgruntled octopus#i am so fed up with my knitting that im going back to crochet and it turns out i dont really like crochet RIP 😔#slightly untrue. i like other peoples crochet.#but im pickier about it than knitting#and i also have less patience for learning new to me techniques and stitches etc#which leaves me with 'easy' or 'beginner' patterns and frankly a lot of em are ugly#or at least are ugly w the scrap yarn i have available and not really beautiful hand dyed wool#so im just like :/#whereas its p easy to make a knit stash buster that looks more put together imo#brought to you by me realizing i dont think i like the 200 stitch chevron blanket i cast on this afternoon
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Ik i designed the silly au characters to not have any shoes but honestly at this point they really need them
#not art 😱#i made the No Shoe decision when i thought i was Only designing a kid's cartoon animal band#but uh. aha!#yeah no if i'm gonna be making them living some hellish lives they at least need some fucking footwear.#but uh congrats to val for being the first silly character designed with footwear. bc i forgot.#also it'd probably show more personality in their designs#like i'm at fault for giving a lot of characters just. brown/black undetailed shoes but like#i'm picturing. vixie's boots that she patches and stitches designs into.#beckett's formal dress shoes that he's trying to keep together bc they're old & worn but he's intimidated by the thought of getting new ones#aliza's mary janes that were starting to become too small for her and hurt her feet#you see the vision. right.#i really wanna learn different kinds of shoes and how to draw them bc if I give someone some boring ass unspecific black shoes again. bye
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Rude that to gain new skills, I have to learn new skills. The knowledge isn't just downloaded into my head, I have to purposely put it there.
#guess whos learning colorwork knitting??#god i wish it wasnt me this is crazy#idek the right terms for what im doing#but its going to be a scarf. with different designs on it. and it has the reversible color thing#like on one side the stitch is green but the other is black. like reversed colors#im so excited and its going to look so fucking cool (if i can figure it out)#i had to learn a new cast on for this. i have to learn how to read charts#when i first started knitting i couldnt even figure out how to purl. i could only d the knit stitch for years#then recently the other skills started clicking more#i guess my brain developed the knitting portion since i was 17#but i never thought i would take on colorwork. but i am! im learning all sorts of things#i can feel wrinkles in my brain forming with every new skill i learn#wish me best of luck and give me tips if you have any please :)#im really excited but also in a time crunch to finish it
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Things I wish I had read in "beginner" sewing tutorials/people had told me before I started getting into sewing
You have to hem *everything* eventually. Hemming isn't optional. (If you don't hem your cloth, it will start to fray. There are exceptions to this, like felt, but most cloth will.)
The type of cloth you choose for your project matters very much. Your clothing won't "fall right" if it's not the kind of stretchy/heavy/stiff as the one the tutorial assumes you will use.
Some types of cloth are very chill about fraying, some are very much not. Linen doesn't really give a fuck as long as you don't, like, throw it into the washing machine unhemmed (see below), whereas brocade yearns for entropy so, so much.
On that note: if you get new cloth: 1. hem its borders (or use a ripple stitch) 2. throw it in the washing machine on the setting that you plan to wash it going forward 3. iron it. You'll regret it, if you don't do it. If you don't hem, it'll thread. If you don't wash beforehand, the finished piece might warp in the first wash. If you don't iron it, it won't be nice and flat and all of your measuring and sewing will be off.
Sewing's first virtue is diligence, followed closely by patience. Measure three times before cutting. Check the symmetry every once in a while. If you can't concentrate anymore, stop. Yes, even if you're almost done.
The order in which you sew your garment's parts matters very much. Stick to the plan, but think ahead.
You'll probably be fine if you sew something on wrong - you can undo it with a seam ripper (get a seam ripper, they're cheap!)
You can use chalk to draw and write on the cloth.
Pick something made out of rectangles for your first project.
I recommend making something out of linen as a beginner project. It's nearly indestructible, barely threads and folds very neatly.
Collars are going to suck.
The sewing machine can't hurt you (probably). There is a guard for a reason and while the needle is very scary at first, if you do it right, your hands will be away from it at least 5 cm at any given time. Also the spoils of learning machine sewing are not to be underestimated. You will be SO fast.
I believe that's all - feel free to add unto it.
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fellow + gidel ssr time fellas
(This bastard took an entire soft pity :(( but hey, I got a Dorm Uniform Jade dupe and finally FINALLY my first Dorm Uniform Floyd on the way, so I ain't too pressed about it.) RISE UP FELLOWIVES NOW’S YOUR TIME
***Character profile, voice lines, Groovy, and vignette spoilers below the cut!!***
First off! His official profile, coffin, and candy (Fox Candy):
(School) Grade/Class: None
Birthday: May 17 (Taurus)
Age: 26
Height: 181 cm
Dominant Hand: Right
Hometown: ???
Club: None
Best Subject: Mathematics (specifically Arithmetic)
Hobby: Watching theater
Dislikes: Saving money
Favorite Food: Apples
Least Favorite Food: Potatoes
Special Skill: Sewing
We finally get confirmation of Fellow’s age! (He had previously said in Playful Land that he was 20-something.)
I love that Fellow’s best subject is math Deuce is jealous/j; it makes so much sense given that his inspiration, Honest John (and Fellow himself) aren’t good at reading. It’s that whole “kids are either good at math or English” stereotype. In Japanese, the phrase 算数 is used. 算数 refers to arithmetic, or very basic math taught in elementary school (adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing). That specific phrase explains Fellow’s elementary level of understanding. His dislike being saving money is also related to numbers; he spends the money he has right away to get by in the moment. Fellow doesn’t really have the skill or the luxury of financial planning, he has to focus on the here and now, looking out for both himself and Gidel.
OMG, his favorite and least favorite foods???? 😭 Playful Land has apple (core) flavored candies and popcorn… and again, this is a reference to Honest John and Pinocchio’s first encounter! He takes the kid’s apple and eats it, lol cnsvwiwguwkw Potatoes being his disliked food… Maybe it’s because it’s the “poor” man’s vegetable? Because potatoes are so versatile, keep for a long time, and are filling because of the starch content, Fellow might resort to eating them a lot, so perhaps as a result he got sick of the taste.
What I find most interesting about Fellow’s profile are his listed hobby and special skill. He largely comes off as despicable and a slimy scammer (which he is, don’t get me wrong), but we can see different sides to him in these details—both the inner child that had his dreams trampled but remains hopeful about the future and the big brother figure/guardian to a child. Gidel is actually formally referred to in Fellow’s profile as his (non-blood related) brother, which made my heart melt 🥺 TWST must know I have a thing for beastmen who act shitty but are actually excellent mentors to the children/j
Fellow enjoys watching theater. It’s a way of transporting you away temporarily to new worlds with crazy stories and emotional performances. When words aren’t enough, you sing. And when singing isn’t enough, you dance. It’s an area that’s so full of life and joy, at least from the audience’s perspective. I’m thinking that watching theater must have been a form of escapism for Fellow, especially with how accessible it is (think of like street performances). Watching theater might also serve a dual purpose of teaching Fellow how to come across as amicable and friendly, which says a LOT about his character. He’s resourceful and able to learn from unconventional sources, then is able to apply those skills to real world situations.
Fellow’s special skill being sewing is surprisingly very cute! If you’ve taken one look at his and Gidel’s designs, we may have already spotted some of his handiwork. There’s mismatched fabric patches on their clothes!! The stitches look so clean too. The patterns not matching is probably because Fellow just used whatever scraps he was able to get his hands on, but I also like to imagine that he tried to make the best of the situation by incorporating the mismatched fabrics in a fun way (like the diamonds in his pants).
Next, can we talk about the composition of that GROOVY????
It’s another reference to the same Pinocchio scene! Fellow’s holding his book like Honest John did and it looks like he’s trying to teach Gidel the alphabet from words scratched on the sidewalk. Notice how the C is written backwards too 😂 He even wears glasses like when Honest John was trying hard to act like an intellectual.
And Gidel!!! Pencil and pad of paper in hand, he looks so interested to learn (something which was hinted at in Playful Land). Gideon in the film is also shown with a pen and pad of paper, scribbling down nonsense as Fellow pretends to diagnose Pinocchio.
Gidel glances up at Fellow with an expression of admiration. I love how wholesome their relationship is depicted as, it leaves a warm feeling in the heart.
The framing of this Groovy is very interesting. We have Fellow to our left—a direction has historically been associated with evil (in Italian, the word for left is even sinistra, as if to imply something sinister) and in the darkness. Gidel is the one to our right and in the light. It presents Fellow to us as someone who has given up on his dreams—but not completely, since we see some light touching his hat, gloves, and highest features + he is currently teaching Gidel and still has dreams of opening his own school. Gidel is shown in the light because he’s still a naive child that doesn’t understand how the world works. His dreams haven’t been destroyed yet, and there’s hope for him to have a better life since Fellow is looking after him and instructing him.
CHECK THIS OUT, GIDEL FOLLOWS FELLOW TO CLASS LIKE MARY'S LAMB OR SOMETHING????? Gidel pops out from under the desk or out of/behind Fellow's cape! Gidel also joins Fellow on the homescreen.
Some of Fellow's expressions are so priceless... For example, look at him in Flight! There's an unsure face and a little bead of sweat. (He makes a lot of pathetic accompanying sounds too, lol) Flying takes magic, so he's probably not confident or powerful enough to maintain flight for long stretches of time--though when he does nail it, he looks ultra smug.
ADGKVAVFOOEFIEQOfsl HIS SHOCKED FACE
How uncool, Fellow-san...
His attack sprites are very similar/identical to what we saw in Playful Land--Fellow's just playing for the opposite team now.
Gidel hops into battle to assist, so I guess they count as the first two-character card. It's been a while since I've seen these animations, but I think I can appreciate them a lot more now. I'm noticing new little things like how Fellow adds a bunch of showmanship into his attack, little flashy flourishes and even presenting Gidel with his arms splayed, as if welcoming a star to the spotlight. The attention to detail really is crazy for these.
If you want to read his voice lines in full, you can find an excellent fan translation of them here! I'll just be remarking on things I noticed while combing through the voice lines myself:
First off: bro calls himself Fellow Hones-SAMA???????? OKAY, KING 😭 Love that confidence you got goin' on there...
bifabsiyofbefe Love how he just reads a textbook and then flat-out admits he has no clue what the heck it's saying. Hey, honesty is a virtue.
Ace 💀 He has the balls to play a prank on an adult... I kind of want to know what the prank was, but at the same time I feel like I should be shaking my head and telling him off for doing it in the first place. I do appreciate that Ace being shitty brought out Fellow's true personality there for a second though, I live for it when Fellow gets real steamed and starts shouting that the NRC students are brats or that they should drop out if they have no motivation in school.
The way Fellow automatically clocked that Kalim is way too trusting and would surely be in danger even if he wasn't the one to come for him... Fellow, watch your back. Jamill WILL come for your sketchy ass for what you did back then.
I didn't find anything super interesting in Fellow's comments about Ortho, but I do think it reveals that there is value in him coming to school. It's only at NRC where Fellow can see such a curious thing like Ortho, and that speaks to the value of really going out there and being exposed to different things. That's part of Lilia's own growth arc too, and a large part of why he now spreads that same rhetoric.
Fellow remarks that Ramshackle is "pretty sweet", which means one of two things: either this is the refurbished post-book 6 dorm OR it's still the shabby pre-book 6 dorm, but since Fellow and Gidel have never really had their own stable housing, even run-down old Ramshackle seems like a massive upgrade.
Fellow and Gidel must have been so happy to see that lunch at NRC is free and served buffet style (so there's no limits to how much you can take). On top of that, they got dead chefs from 5 star restaurants staffing the kitchen! Those two really hit the jackpot, I hope they eat well.
AVUSDGVUADOVIAISDBIDAS THE DIALOGUE IMPLYING FELLOW CASUALLY BYPASSED THE SCHOOL'S BARRIER AND OTHER SECURITY MEASURES... So Chenya-core of him, really. Fellow may not have magical might, but he's seriously street smart to have found a way in like he has.
Small detail but I appreciate how Fellow has lines which call attention to Gidel. It doesn't just remind us that Gidel is there too, but it also demonstrates to us that Fellow actively tries to include him in the conversation despite Gidel's muteness (a condition which may lead others to outright ignoring him or talking down to him).
LAST THING (though it's not in MysteryShopTL's linked post): in his birthday greeting to the player, Fellow says that both you and him don't have talent for magic, so you should get along. I didn't think the game would acknowledge the player and Fellow's similarity in that sense, so it was very nice to be proven wrong.
And to finish off this post (which ended up being way more massive than I thought it would be), a quick summary of the vignettes!! If you want to read them in full, please check out MysteryShopTLs’ post!
In vignette 1, Fellow and Gidel are putting on a street performance in Silk City. Fellow collects fees from the onlookers and then tries to milk more out of them by spinning a story about how Gidel is a puppet that can walk without strings. Buuut Gidel moves like a normal living being and sneezes, which ruins the ruse and leads to the crowd getting mad at them. The duo run off, but Fellow reveals that while the locals were looking at Gidel, he used magic to steal some of their precious metals and jewelry. In the next vignette, Fellow and Gidel have moved on to Fairest City. It's said that they live a nomadic lifestyle and hop from place to place, never staying for too long in any one location because word of their scams may spread and cause a situation where they cannot reasonably make money through their lies. (Cute detail: Fellow listens to Gidel's suggestions on where they should go next and even praises Gidel's smarts.) This time Fellow's trying to auction off a magestone that he claims will allow anyone who holds it to use magic. The people of Fairest City don't believe him and give him the cold shoulder, which upsets Fellow (since he really hates it when others look down on him). He ends up using his UM to get his audience to be more pliant and manages to sell the magestone for a pretty penny. At the end of this vignette, Fellow drops a line about how he and Gidel are so free, how they can do whatever they want since they have nothing holding them back. I really love that thought~
AND IF YOU THOUGHT VIGNETTES 1 AND 2 WERE FUNNY HAHA TEEHEE CUTE, WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE VIGNETTE 3 💀 VIGNETTE 3 FELT LIKE IT WAS A TARGETTED SNIPE ON MY HEART
The setting is Sunrise City! Fellow and Gidel are being chased off by an angry person they tried to rob. It looks like they're unsuccessful today and will be going hungry. Gidel tries opening a random can of OIL in search of food, so Fellow scolds him and tells him to leave it be. Apparently Gidel does this a lot when he's hungry (just grabbing random shit and trying to eat it), even though Fellow has tried teaching him how to read. THIS IS WHAT THE CONTEXT OF THE GROOVY IS, FELLOW SQUATS DOWN (like we literally see his 2D model lowering) AND DRAWS IT ON THE GROUND FOR GIDEL TO SEE. O is for orange, I is for ice-cream, and L is for laugh. Fellow realizes that L is the only non-food word, but he couldn't come up with anything else. I wonder if like... this is some common game they do to distract from hunger. They have to imagine the food they could have but can't. And L being "laugh"? That can't be a coincidence. Fellow could have used any other L word as an example, even if he couldn't come up with a food that starts with L. It makes me think he picked "laugh" on purpose in an effort to lift Gidel's spirits and to try and distract from their circumstances.
Aaaah, as I was saying! Fellow gets upset that he doesn't know as much as your average 26-year old would since he never went to school. Gidel seems to sense his frustrations and reassures him with a pat, which reenergizes Fellow. He says he'll try to find some food, so Gidel should focus on making a fire. While gathering wood to burn, they come across a job posting by a shady rich man that Fellow and Gidel supposedly did another job for in the past. Fellow suggests that they check out the job and if they don't like it then they can leave. ADSKJBBSLDIADBLUBAB These are the events leading up to Playful Land... meaning that Fellow’s showmanship is wasn’t something he developed at the amusement park, but as a general coping and survival mechanism to get by day-to-day.
I uh. May or may not have cried a little at Fellow and Gidel's really wholesome interaction 😭 I MEAN YEAH OF COURSE I'M A SUCKER FOR BIG BROTHER CHARACTERS (and we certainly see that in how Fellow scolds Gidel and looks out for his wellbeing, both in the vignettes and in Playful Land) but also???????? ? ? ? ? ?? ?????? ? ? ? ?? I love Love LOVE how Gidel is shown to be supportive of Fellow as well. Fellow as the older person, the adult, and the able-bodied one of the duo is pulling most of the weight when it comes to getting resources and handling communication. However, Gidel plays an important role in their dynamic as well. He's the heart and the emotional support that Fellow needs when he's down in the dumps and being hard on himself. Gidel not only serves as a "reason" for Fellow to work hard (to support a child), but he also gives Fellow motivation and hope that tomorrow can be another day. YOU CAN REALLY TELL HOW MUCH THESE TWO CARE AND LOOK OUT FOR ONE ANOTHER OTL
OOOOOOOoooOOooOOGGHHHH MY HEART *clutches it* I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, I CAN'T HANDLE THE ONII-SAMA OF IT ALL
#twisted wonderland#twst#Fellow Honest#Gidel#disney twisted wonderland#disney twst#notes from the writing raven#jp spoilets#fellow playful dress spoilers#playful land spoilers#Tweels#gacha salt#Ace Trappola#Kalim Al-Asim#Jamil Viper#Scarabia#Ortho Shroud#Yuu#Jade Leech#Floyd Leech#Gideon#Pinocchio#Honest John#book 6 spoilers#Chenya#Che'nya#Leona Kingscholar#NOT L*ONA ROT#F-Fellow... rot??????? C-Can it be true??#Ernesto Foulworth
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*Pulles out the Welcome Home Wiki and clears throat*
So, to start with, are there any elements of the Welcome home crew being a tv show? Any "neighbor" that Wally talks too?
Who would be the most likely to figure out Wally's house is alive? Can Home speak or are they limited to onomatopoeias?
Canonically, Wally can only do the Mash Potato, is your version of him a better or worse dancer? Is anyone particularly skilled at something you wouldn't think they'd be? (eg: Frank having mad crochet skills)
Who feels the most comfortable around Wally? Are any of the neighbors unerved by his sleep depreived behaviors at times?
If Poppy found Sally as a youngin, how did that happen on a scale of Thumbalina to Stitch?
How much of a jokster is Barnaby, has he ever gone too far with his jokes? What's his go to for lifting the spirits of his neighbors?
Does Julie love games just as much here? If so, how strict is she with the rules of them? Especially safety rules. Does she create new games often or stick with the same couple and occasionally introduce new ones as the current ones become less fun?
How much of a bug lover is Frank? Does it ever bother him that all his friends names end with -ly/ie and his last name does that instead of his first?
What is your current idea for Sally? More gremlin or fancy? Maybe a bit of both, reserving all her self-control for the stage?
Is Howdy's bugdega his most prized possession, or no more then it would be for a normal person? How receptive is he to jokes?
Would the town of Welcome Home still use Jokes are currency, or would you switch it to a more standard kind of money?
Hope that's enough for ya XD
XD I couldn't help myself, I interpreted that question about Franks name as a funny drawing prompt! XDD Now onto your other questions..
1: Are there any elements of the Welcome home crew being a tv show? Any "neighbor" that Wally talks too?
Nahh, there aren't any elements of their world being a show or a Y/N and/or neighbor that Wally talks too. Its just the neighbors and their world is very real to them! :0
2: Who would be the most likely to figure out Wally's house is alive? Can Home speak or are they limited to onomatopoeias?
I don't have any plans for anyone to find out Home is alive.. but if anyone ever did, Wally, Eddie and Barnaby would be good candidates. Wally because he lives there and is pretty sensitive to Home's energy. Eddie because he is very sensitive to homes energy.. and Barnaby, because he's really close to Wally and is looking in on this situation with a clear and level head. Perhaps he would notice things that Eddie and Wally are too scatterbrained to notice..
Also yes! :0 Home cannot speak and is limited to onomatopoeias!
3: Canonically, Wally can only do the Mash Potato, is your version of him a better or worse dancer?
I'd like to think my Wally is capable of learning new dances, but he's just not particularly interested.. <XD so yeah! Only the mashed potato for my Wally too XDD
4: Is anyone particularly skilled at something you wouldn't think they'd be?
I have a few in mind for surprising skills! My Barnaby is surprisingly good at sewing! He learned it from his mama 🥺💞💞 Julie is- well, to the surprise of the neighbors at least- really good at making campfires from scratch and other outdoorsy things! :0 And lastly, Eddie is known for being clumsy and forgetful.. but surprisingly he has fantastic handwriting. Beautiful cursive, perfectly spaced out, perfect punctuation, never smudges, all the "I"s are dotted and every "T" is crossed. He never has to erase and never spells anything wrong! Eddie doesn't know how he got so good at it.. Its just always been like that he says. hmm..
Technically Barnaby would feel the most comfortable around Wally, since they're best friends an all.. :0 But no one is uncomfortable around Wally due to his sleepy behaviors! The neighbors mostly feel pity for the poor guy.. it cant be fun to never get a good nights sleep..
5: Who feels the most comfortable around Wally? Are any of the neighbors unnerved by his sleep deprived behaviors at times?
6: If Poppy found Sally as a youngin, how did that happen on a scale of Thumbalina to Stitch?
I cant really remember the stories of Stitch and Thumbalina that well... but I'd say it might be more like Stitch..? <XD Sally was super excited to explore everything and go everywhere. So she was quite the handful! Like I think Stitch was..?
7: How much of a jokester is Barnaby, has he ever gone too far with his jokes? What's his go to for lifting the spirits of his neighbors?
Barnaby is a Sans level jokester XDD Fitting puns and jokes into almost every other sentence! But thankfully he's rather observant and doesn't ever go too far. He knows what jokes are and are not appropriate to say around certain neighbors. He also can tell if its a good or bad time to crack a joke.. when it comes to lifting the spirits of his neighbors.. his go-to will depend on the neighbor. For Howdy, Julie or Eddie, he just needs a few good jokes with maybe a sprinkle of life advice in there to get them smiling again.
For Poppy or Wally, his go-to is usually to talk to them rather seriously and figure out what's wrong..
If Poppy is upset, it usually because she's anxious about something. So Barnaby will try to figure out what's wrong so he can help her fix the problem or maybe comfort her if its worry over nothing..
If Wally is visibly upset, usually that means something is really wrong.. Barnaby probably wont let up in until he figures out what happened and is able to help his poor buddy..
8: Does Julie love games just as much here? If so, how strict is she with the rules of them? Especially safety rules. Does she create new games often or stick with the same couple and occasionally introduce new ones as the current ones become less fun?
I'd like to think that my Julie loves games too! :)) She is lenient on any and all rules if all the other players agree to it. In a way changing the rules creates a whole new game! But safety rules are no breakers! Gotta keep her friends safe after all! And I think Julie only switches it up and tries new games once her neighbors are bored with the current selection :00
9: How much of a bug lover is Frank?
Well considering my Frank moved to this neighborhood specifically so he could study and live alongside all the creepy crawlies there.. I'd says he loves them with all his heart! XDDD (Also never call them creepy crawlies around Frank, he hates that!)
10: What is your current idea for Sally? More gremlin or fancy? Maybe a bit of both, reserving all her self-control for the stage?
Right now I'm resisting the urge to make her a 100% chaotic gremlin <XDD Since I don't know if that fits her canon character very well.. I'm leaning more towards a passionate and sassy theater kid atm 🤣🤣🤣
11: Is Howdy's bugdega his most prized possession, or no more then it would be for a normal person? How receptive is he to jokes?
(AOIJASJFF I JUST GOT IT-- BUGDEGA XDD) Its his most prized possession! He treats it better than he does himself to be honest! <XDD And he has a great passion for the quality of the products he sells too!
As for jokes, my Howdy loves a good joke. There's a rumor if you make him laugh, he'll give you a discount! 👀👀
12: Would the town of Welcome Home still use Jokes are currency, or would you switch it to a more standard kind of money?
The canon uses jokes as currency?? :0 Huh.. I didn't know that, I intended to make my neighbors all have jobs. But I guess that begs the question, what jobs do they have.. I guess that's still a work in progress <XD
Anyways- thank you for all the questions! :DD These were a blast to answer, and I hope you had fun reading them! XDD
#long post#my response#welcome home#frank frankly#Julie Joyful#Sally starlet#wally darling#eddie darling#barnaby b beagle#howdy pillar#poppy partridge
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I feel like we don't discuss Nami's relationship with gender enough. Her entire character is so deeply informed by being a girl in a male-dominated pirate world and it's so interesting and so worth talking about.
The background creepiness of Bad pirate crews, which are most of them, how they tend to not have any female crew members at all, how they beckon any pretty young woman around to come play with them and join them. It's real bad. It's also like, a totally 2 dimensional portrayal of evil that is reserved for the most background of background characters.
However I think their ubiquity says a lot about how piracy is meant to be perceived by the public in One Piece, and is one of the strongest indicators of how prevalent misogyny is in-world.
It's very normal in One Piece for regular island inhabitants to have never met a Different class of pirate in their life. There's no reason for them to withhold judgement that maybe these pirates won't be like every crew that attacked before, and to wait and judge them by their actions. I mean frankly that would be irrationally weak self-preservation.
There are people who live peacefully under the flags of Yonkos who protect them, and feel loyalty and gratitude to them for it, but that seems to only be thing with very big name pirates. The East Blue, being the weakest and least populated, has no such plethora of powerful people and resulting turf wars.
So. Nami. Is very clearly implied to have never met any Different pirates before. I'm thinking about what that means. About how every group of pirates she stole from were creepy, dangerous men. How she started going out stealing when she was still a young child. How she didn't have a mother anymore to guide her or comfort her. How Arlong would grab her chin inappropriately, talk about her as a "human female", as property, and god knows what else.
How all the men in Arlong's crew treated her patronizingly, pretending they're all friends, teasing her and playing at respect when really not a single one of them ever stuck up for her or hesitated to accuse her of betrayal. Who were always ready to kill her if she refused to cooperate. Who grabbed her and intimidated her when they felt like it.
That's what she had to come back to after a close call with stealing from other predatory men, instead of the relief of home there was a dark, cramped room filled with endless hours of misery and isolation and blood. Where any one of her captors could barge in and demand new maps, work faster, where did you go, you took too long again this time. Endless threats and incursions.
I'm thinking about that her fight scene in Alabasta, where she tumbles and rips off her cape and uses it to catch her enemy's spikes, before leaping to her feet and running out the back door, all in one moment. How it makes her enemy reconsider her and think, "so the girl's not a total novice at fighting after all." What that implies about her experiences as a young thief. The times she wasn't fast or clever enough and had to fight and claw her way out. Why she always carried a staff and a knife. Why she was the only one before Chopper who had any medical knowledge or experience.
You know she was stitching herself up. And the weapons, how do you think she learned to use those? If any of the Arlong Pirates helped her it wasn't out of kindness and it wasn't gentle.
Then I think about Nojiko, and Bellemere's memory, and the only softness in a hard life. How easily Nami connects to every young woman experiencing hardship that she meets. How completely she dismisses the struggles of men unless they mean something to her and are going through something terrible. The way that Nami only has sympathy for women and children is easily noticeable in-text, but it's also something confirmed in those words by the author. And it's clearly because of the life she lived, the men who had all the power and only abused it, who saw her as nothing but a girl to take advantage of, without anyone aside from her sister clearly knowing and caring about any of it.
Nami clearly isn't bitter, she doesn't think the world owes her recompense, on the contrary she knows she is far from the only person in the world to suffer the things she has suffered. She is endlessly reaching out and kind, but only to those that she isn't sure would get help without her. Certainly, before Luffy, Usopp, and Zoro, no man ever reached out a hand to her without an ulterior motive.
I think when she sees a girl in trouble, a girl biting her lip to hold in a scream of grief, a girl running in the woods away from a monster, a girl captured by pirates, she sees someone who no one is coming for. Who no one will stick up for. A person without allies in a world against her. Whether it's actually true in this case or not, she runs straight for that girl anyways every single time.
#and that is why I will always. ALWAYS. be obsessed with her. writing that last line did make me cry a little. ohhh my godddd. naamiiiiii#my posts#one piece#nami#arlong park arc#east blue saga#op nami#op meta#op analysis#oh my fucking god nami. you forget sometimes because she's so happy and rambunctious and silly now but her life was a#nonstop nightmare horror show for years and years and years#she was all sharp edges and pain and gritted teeth and bloody determination and a hard laugh#for so long. oh my goddddddddddddd oh my goddd nami oh my god nami. oh my god nami.#sexism#implied assault#her life in that era is so fucking dark. you could write so many horror stories in there and they could all feel true
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The Night Nurse (Part 1)
Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 (in progress)
Request:
Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)
Summary: You are the newly appointed night nurse for SHIELD and you couldn't be less excited about it. You have been given the side task of finding out who is stealing supplies from the infirmary. Soon after you start, you learn Loki is the one who has been slipping in at night to patch up his wounds and you confront him about why he can't heal as quickly as Thor. He reveals a dangerous secret he is keeping from the team and you worry increasingly for his safety as the two of you become closer over the next few weeks.
Warning: You asked for angst so I shall give you angst lol but also... some mentions of blood, minor injuries needing stitches, Loki generally feeling alone and isolated, arguing between you and Loki, very brief mentions of Loki's torture, Loki being an ass in the beginning, swearing, a pretty major injury towards the end but no one dies... a romantic ending was requested so of course there will be fluff and cuteness and whatnot it just won't be in part 1 (sorry)
A/N: I really really hope you like this @glitterylokislut! It accidentally got super long and I just went with it so I hope that's okay. Thank you so so so much for sending this request! I love it 💚
You have been given your new assignment by Director Fury and Dr. Palmer and to say you are less than thrilled about it is as understatement. You are officially the first and only night nurse for SHIELD, stationed in the Avenger's Tower. Unfortunately for you, Fury and Dr. Palmer thought you were perfect for the job and it was made clear that there was no room for you to turn down the transfer.
You were doing inventory a few days ago and noticed several discrepancies which you immediately brought to your supervisors attention. The decision had been made to staff the infirmary at all hours and since you discovered the issue, you were tasked with finding out who was stealing the supplies.
So here you are for the sixth night in a row and nothing... not a single patient, thief or otherwise to keep you occupied. Not that you are honestly sure what Fury expected you to do if you caught someone stealing. You aren't an agent and whoever it is has to work for SHIELD since no one else could even access this floor. Very few agents lived full time at the Tower and the ones who are here at night are working. This really only left the members of the Avengers but you can't understand why any of them steal bandages and gauze, it just doesn't make sense.
What is more concerning for you than the specific items being stolen is that whoever it is has been able to avoid the security system. While the infirmary itself has no internal cameras, the cameras in the hall leading to the elevators are all in perfect working order. Fury had the tech support team check and recheck the security system but they couldn't find any glitches or issues. No one had been seen entering or exiting the infirmary on the nights when the inventory went missing.
Maybe the Tower has a ghost, you think to yourself as you finish the inventory checklist yet again. You double check your count and note that nothing is missing. Tossing the clipboard onto your desk, you pull your book out of the top drawer and settle in for what you assume will be another long, uneventful night.
About five minutes later, you hear something coming from the main section of the infirmary and get up from your seat. Holy crap! There's actually a thief, you think as you leave your office quickly.
You stop short when you see Loki rummaging through one of the metal cabinets, one that you know you had locked only minutes ago. "What are you doing?" you ask him. How the hell did he get in here? you wonder. You hadn't heard the door open.
The tall prince looks up a bit startled by your sudden appearance but he doesn't respond.
"I'm not allowed to let you take supplies," you tell him, trying to keep your voice from shaking. You hadn't been prepared to confront a god, you had hoped it was some young agent who didn't know the rules or an older one who was too cheap to buy band-aids.
He curses under his breath in what you assume is Asgardian and slams the cabinet closed. He glares at you and turns to leave.
"Wait, do you need help?" you ask noticing the items in his hand are for stitching a wound and there is a hastily wrapped bandage on his left forearm.
"No," he answers in a harsh tone.
You put your hand on your hips and say, "You can let me help you or you can leave. If you leave, you can't take the supplies. I'll have to report this as theft of SHIELD property to Director Fury."
"Fine," he grumbles and walks towards you slowly. You point him towards an exam table and roll over a stool then you take the items he gathered, setting them out on a tray next to you. He watches you intently while you work, you aren't sure if he is trying to make you uncomfortable but it is clear he doesn't trust you.
How the hell did he cut himself like this? you ask yourself as you open all the tools you will need. And what is he doing here anyways? He has accelerated healing, the same as his brother. He shouldn't be bleeding this-
"Thor is not my brother," he corrects you. "And the manner in which I was injured is none of your concern, mortal."
You sit back and look at him angrily, "Get out of my mind. You know you aren't allowed to use your telepathy on SHIELD employees." He shrugs at your outburst but sits quietly while you finish closing his wound.
"Done," you say when you add a bandage over the closure. You snap off your gloves and push your stool away from him. You can't imagine he will thank you for your assistance so you add, "You're welcome, now get out. I have to clean up."
You turn away to pick something up and suddenly feel as if you are alone. When you look back towards the exam table, he is gone. You shake your head in confusion and walk over to open the infirmary door, the hinges creak loudly as it swings open and closed.
A few days later you are completing the last of your paperwork just as someone knocks on your office door. You gasp in surprise and nearly drop your coffee, looking up to see Loki standing in your doorway. He is holding his right bicep and lowers his gaze to the ground in front of him to avoid eye contact with you. His demeanor is completely different then the last time he was here.
"Would you help me?" he asks almost as if he expects you to say no.
You sigh and nod, "Of course, it's literally my job... even if the person who needs my help is an ungrateful ass."
He flinches at your harsh tone and says, "I am sorry I was unkind to you last time I was here."
"You were a jerk," you tell him flatly, crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back in your chair.
"I was," he says to your surprise. "I apologize for my behavior, it was uncalled for."
"Accepted," you say, not wanting to waste anymore time since you could now see blood begin to seep through his fingers.
He sits on the exam table you motion towards and begins to unbutton his dress shirt. You turn towards the cabinet to grab the things you need and when you look back you are struck by how annoyingly hot he is. You quickly remember that he can and will read your mind so you try to push the thoughts away but you are not fast enough. Loki looks down as he folds his shirt and places it next to him, the corner of his lip curling into a smile.
"Okay," you clear your throat. "Let's see what you did this time." He moves his hand and you see the long gash on his bicep. "Wow, you did a pretty good job on this."
"Yes, I thought the bleeding had stopped but it began again so I thought I should come here" he says.
"Good thing you did. It's going to need a lot of stiches, more than last time," you inform him. "Do you want anything for the pain?" you ask when to get up to grab a few more things from the cabinet.
"It doesn't hurt," he shakes his head.
"Really?" you ask, not sure if you believe him but you don't press the issue.
You sit close to him on your stool and begin to work on his arm quietly. Loki doesn't make a single sound or move an inch while you clean and stitch his wound. You reach for the tray to grab something and realize he is watching you again but this time he's studying you and not your work.
"So what happened?" you ask him. You are fairly certain he wasn't sent on a mission this week.
"Training with Thor," he says simply.
You nod, sensing that he won't give any more details even if you continue to ask him questions. You glance over at his right forearm and pause mid-stitch when you don't see the injury you treated last time.
"It healed," he answers before you can ask what happened.
"Stop reading my mind," you tell him and go back to what you were doing. He doesn't respond and you assume that means he doesn't intend to listen to you. You decide to search your mind for a song that can easily get stuck in a person's head, hoping that if he does go sifting through your thoughts he will at least be annoyed. It might be childish, but it's the best solution you can think of at the moment.
You look up at him when you are finished, sitting back on your stool you say, "I know the other day wasn't the first time you snuck in here." He tightens his jaw and gets up from the table, buttoning his shirt without saying a word.
"Are you the one who's been stealing supplies?" you ask him even though you know he is. He ignores your question but you don't think it is because he is being rude like last time. He almost seems distressed that you know his secret so you add, "I didn't tell anyone it was you."
"I know you didn't," he finally responds. "I assumed Fury would have spoken to me if you had." He is silent for a moment than he says, "Thank you," before turning to leave the exam room.
"Wait," you follow after him. "I can't keep hiding this from Dr. Palmer and Director Fury. They are going to want to know who was taking the supplies."
He turns to face you, "Why didn't you tell them it was me?" His curiosity seems genuine, as if he fully expected you to turn him in the first time you saw him here.
"I'm not sure," you shrug. "I guess I wanted to talk to you about why first you were doing it but then you pissed me off and I just wanted you out of here as soon as possible."
He nods, "Again, I apologize for how I spoke to you. I was not expecting anyone to be here but that is not an excuse."
You are stunned by the second apology and the abrupt change in his attitude since last time. Maybe I'll have a better chance of finding out why he is clearly not healing well now.
"I would rather not discuss that tonight," he says as he walks away from you and you know he read your mind again.
"Loki, I can't pretend I don't know it's you for much longer. Fury is going to want to know why the supplies are missing. It's the whole reason I'm here this late," you tell him.
He puts his hand on the door to leave and looks back at you, "I know you do not owe me this but please, do not tell anyone... at least not yet."
You sigh, "Fine, but this is the last time."
He nods and you watch in awe as he simply vanishes from sight. So that's how he gets passed all the cameras, he can just disappear?
It's been a week since you've seen Loki and after the fourth day you had decided he wasn't going to come back. You hope you will be able to finish out the next few weeks without any additional discrepancies in the inventory and things would go back to normal. Just as you are about to open your book, you hear him call your name and you roll your eyes. Of course he's back, nothing ever works out simply for me.
You walk out of your office to meet him, expecting to find the God of Being Annoying and Evasive needing a handful stitches like he has the last two times he visited but he appears fine. "Hi again," you greet him with the least excited tone you can manage.
He grimaces and takes a few steps towards you but falls, grabbing his side tightly as he collapses onto one knee. You move quickly to grab him but don't see anything wrong until he moves his hand and his illusion flickers. There's blood on his hand but it vanishes then appears again when his magic gives out. His shirt is covered in blood and you hold onto him, helping ease him to the floor.
"What the hell happened?" you ask trying not to panic. You remember your training and move his shirt to the side so you can see the injury clearer. He flinches when you press his hand on the open wound and tell him to keep it there. "Shit," you mumble a curse then get up to grab everything you need.
You kneel next to him and take care of his wound as quickly and cleanly as possible, stitching the long, deep cut closed. Thankfully it wasn't any deeper or you might have needed to call for help, the wound was too close to his lung to not be taken seriously. When you finish you help him sit up slowly and he uses his magic to clean the blood off his clothing.
"You need to stay here and rest," you urge but he shakes his head no.
"It will heal," he says and he tries to get up. You help him so he doesn't hurt himself further but you keep your hands on his arm. "Thank you," he tells you then takes a step away from you but you don't let go.
"Stop," you get his attention. "You can't leave, this wasn't just some little cut. You were stabbed really close to your lung. This isn't okay Loki, you're not fine."
He takes a deep breath as if to prove his lungs are clear and says, "I appreciate your concern, Y/N, I truly do but I need to deal with this on my own."
"No you don't," you argue. "Just tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help."
He shakes his head, "You are an excellent healer but this is beyond you."
"I don't get it, why are you getting so badly hurt. I thought you had accelerated healing abilities like you bro- like Thor," you correct yourself before he has the chance.
He gently rests his hand over the wound on his side and tries to reassure you. "I will heal, it just takes a bit longer than it used to. Thank you once again for your help Y/N," he says before he vanishes.
Three nights later, you are sitting at your desk looking down at your tablet while you drink your second cup of coffee. You've clicked on Loki's file but haven't opened it yet, your fingers drumming on the desk rhythmically as you think. You have treated him several times now so it isn't a violation of his privacy to view his chart but for some reason it feels like it is. You sigh and open his file, maybe whatever he is hiding from me is in here.
You intend to skim his chart then log his recent visits like you should have been doing but you pause completely confused. His file is almost blank, his name and general information has been filled out but there is not a single visit to the infirmary listed. How is that possible? He must have been able to heal at one point but he doesn't seem to be able to anymore.
You exit his file without adding anything, determined to talk to him the next time you see him. You only need to wait fifteen minutes before he knocks softly on your office door.
"Loki, are you okay?" you ask, your voice has more concern than you meant.
He nods and holds out his hand when you walk towards him, "It is only a small wound tonight."
You look closely at the back of his hand and agree, he will only need a butterfly bandage or two and some gauze. You hold his wrist gently and lead him into one of the exam rooms. Loki sits on the table and you roll your stool close to him with your tray of supplies next to you.
"What happened?" you ask, reaching for the tape and he hands it to you, "Thanks."
"A training accident," he says and you nod, unsurprised.
"I need to log this into your file," you say as you throw out the garbage. "The other injuries too," you add.
"I would rather you didn't," he says.
"I know but I need to, it's proper procedure. I could get in trouble if I don't," you explain. "I could lose my job."
He sighs and remains seated on the table. You sit on the stool again and move closer to him. "I'm sorry, I never meant to cause you trouble," he says.
"Well... maybe if you tell me what's going on, I can keep it out of the record," you suggest. He looks up at you as you can tell he is thinking about your suggestion. "I can't tell anyone what we talk about, if that's what you're worried about, doctor - patient privilege and all," you explain with a smile.
"You're a nurse," he says, but his tone isn't condescending like it is when some people call you a nurse, it is as if he is simply clarifying a fact.
"Yeah... it's the same concept," you sigh. "Loki, you can trust me. I don't want to see you keep getting hurt like this," you tell him honestly, touching his hand lightly and he looks into your eyes.
You aren't sure if he is reading your mind or not but finally he says, "You must promise me, no one will know what I am going to tell you."
"I swear," you agree.
Loki shifts uncomfortably on the lightly padded table and looks down at your hand over his. He sighs deeply then says, "I cannot heal the same way Thor does, I have never been able to."
"What!?" you ask unable to hide your shock. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say it like that but... I don't understand."
He says, "Accelerated healing is an Asgardian trait and I am not a full Asgardian, I am half frost giant. When I was a child, I thought I healed slowly simply because I was smaller and weaker than Thor but now my lack of abilities makes sense."
"But how did you hide it all this time?" you ask. "Someone must have noticed you were always getting hurt."
"My mother helped me," he explains. "She taught me to use my magic to create illusions to hide my injuries and dull my pain. When I was alone, I would use my spells and potions to heal myself."
"And no one knows, not even your brother?" you ask in disbelief.
"Not even Thor," he shakes his head.
"But wait... so this was obviously working fine for the last thousand or so years, why isn't it working now?" you ask confused.
"There is something wrong with my magic," he tells you and your heart sinks. "It has been fading since I was taken by the Mind Stone."
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BLACKMOONORACLE PRESENTS ...
PICK A CARD • OCTOBER PREDICTIONS
P I L E O N E
Soooo, you’ve definitely got a pretty decent release coming in during the month of october. I specifically heard the releasing of a karmic contract, so, I truly love that for you. You could be making a decision about a connection, it definitely feels like a past energy though. Some sort of cycle you’ve experienced with a particular soul over and over again. You put a stop to this though, I feel like you called it like it was. I’m channeling Vultures by Earl Sweatshirt and the beginning of the song literally goes. “I’ve been on the run, that’s why I go harder than you go. Plus I call em how I see em, maybe that’s why I’m all alone.” Season of the Witch is currently playing and it’s the part that goes “you’ve got to pick up every stitch” it feels like an energy of uprooting. I do feel like this pile has a tendency to hold onto people that don’t serve them in any way shape or form. Channeling Serve the Servants by Nirvana, in specific this part stands out:
“I just want you to know that I don't hate you anymore There is nothing I could say that I haven't thought before”
There feels like a specific intention in this pile to remove themselves from relationships that are dragging them down.
Something may be occurring that is causing you to let go of this connection, like something is going to make you realize you’re wasting your time. It’s not like usual either, it’s like this undismissable feeling of disgust and realization.
The mask is being ripped off, and in a very ugly way LOL.
I feel like whatever information you’re going to learn from this situation is actually going to help you develop better self esteem and turn a new leaf. It feels like a sigh of relief, this person possibly made you feel like you weren’t good enough, or were a bad person. I heard “I’m always the problem” and you’re going to realize that you aren’t and never were the problem.
I literally heard “reactive abuse”.
If you’d like to book a personal reading you can always dm me on here or instagram.
P I L E T W O
You guys are making social waves the month of october by setting harsh boundaries and restrictions in place with others. I heard “Look but don’t touch” I feel like there may be some kind of drama going on in october. I did hear workplace, so for some of you this could be career/reputation/workplace related drama and bs bubbling over. I see you taking things into your own hands and very critically thinking about the situation so you can make a solid decision that is balanced and fair. I also heard “in your favor” I feel like whoever this person you have issues with is doesn’t have a very good reputation. It’s almost like this person speaking so negatively of you constantly is really aggravating other people. Especially because you don’t really talk about them at all. You’ve pretty much moved on from whatever this is.
I heard “bitter ex friend” and I also heard “bite the bullet” and I heard something about a poison apple? Someone could have tried to use an apple in some sort of hex or spellwork towards you. It could be also that someone has poisonous intentions of trying to gain access to you and that you are putting that shit to a stop.
I heard scorpio, so this person could be a scorpio. I see you essentially making a judgment on this person socially which is going to cause other people to really see them in a different light. You could also be bringing context or clarity to some kind of situation, you hold missing information or you are a missing link in some way. I also heard complexity, so this situation could be very complex.
This new judgment will teach you to be more selfish with your time and resources so that you can create a genuine balance in your life.
Too much gratitude I heard, which is lowkey crazy? I think that what that means is that essentially sometimes you put shit on a pedestal. There’s a self worth wound being worked out in this situation tbh.
If you’d like to book a personal reading you can always dm me on here or instagram.
P I L E T H R E E
I see a new financial opportunity becoming available in the month of october for you, something unexpected. It could be in something with creation of some kind, doing and creating content possibly even? I see you handling business matters and phone calls of some kind? I heard admin, so some sort of administrative position? I also heard dream job, so for some of you this could be a once in a lifetime opportunity or for others this could be a really solid offer. I also heard high caliber, but I’m also hearing don’t work yourself to death. This group feels very capricorn type of energy, addicted to working, you love making money. I see where you’ve fought long and hard to get into whatever position is being given to you. I see where you’ve lost so much, in search of stability and I feel like you will need to face your shadow of lack and insecurity while in this job position or offer. It almost feels like some of you may try to eject yourself out of the situation because you’re scared or because it feels too good to be true? I feel like this is a good opportunity, but don’t get wrapped up in social liaison I heard. I feel like you have to learn to be comfortable with not fitting in or being like neck deep in a community. You’re meant to be a bit of an outlier at this current point in time because you are learning something new. You’ve already developed the social skills, this is about developing a deeper personal skillset that you can really utilize to drive you to your success.
I see this group really coming to terms with the past, and releasing either the fear of being seen for who you are. I’m also hearing “of being heard” a fear of being perceived for who you really are. You are healing your relationship to yourself, i heard “grotesque” you might be really mean to yourself a lot of the time. Like highkey you are very impatient and cruel to yourself at times and it lowkey sucks for you. I also heard don’t lose sight of what you have, this new opportunity is here for you to milk it for what it has to offer and then dip when things begin to culminate on a deeper scale for you. Some of you could really go through a deep spiritual awakening and learn what happiness truly means to you as a result of this.
If you’d like to book a personal reading you can always dm me on here or instagram
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Mistakes
Summary: You were tired of men making decisions for you. Even though they had your best interest at heart, all they ended up doing was breaking your heart more and more. After reuniting Joel with his brother Tommy (your Ex who left the QZ without telling anyone including you) in a town called Jackson and an overdue argument with Joel Miller you finally confess your feelings for him, spending the night with the older brother, only to wake up alone in an empty house with him and Ellie gone.
Pairing: Joel Miller x fem. reader (former Tommy Miller x fem. reader)
Wordcount: 6.4k
Rating: E
Warnings: angst, pining, feelings, Joel Miller not being good at those feelings, past heartbreak, current heartbreak, mentioned of miscarriage, more angst, also some smut (unprotected sex), kissing, mentions of violence, stitches, blood
A/N: this summary sucks but I have no idea how to make it better. Let’s hope the fics doesn’t suck like it lmao
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It was like entering the twilight zone when the gates opened.
People were wandering the streets with smiles on their faces. You could hear children's laughter. Some people stopped and nodded towards you as you passed by them on the horse the people who had found you had put you on.
Your gaze always slipped back to Ellie and Joel in front of you. Watching them closely.
The woman who had talked to Joel, Maria, had not given you much more information other than to follow them after she learned Joel’s name and that he was looking for his brother Tommy.
But you had seen in her face that she recognised the name.
If you were honest with yourself you never believed you would really find him. Tommy.
It had been such a long time since Joel had heard from him last and the only reason you agreed to join him in his search for Tommy was because you were scared of losing the last connection you had to your previous life.
Tommy, Joel and you grew up together.
When you thought of them you thought of summers at the Miller’s pool. Of thirteen year old Joel trying to teach five year old you how to swim while six year old Tommy kept trying to pull you under the water.
The little shit.
Of course as you turned older your interests changed, yet you all still managed to spend at least a week of the summer break together out for mischief.
And then it all changed when Tommy Miller kissed you.
It was after Joel left for College and if you were honest with yourself you had been crushing on him for a while at that point.
You and Tommy had been together for two years before you found him kissing another girl.
God, you had been so heartbroken back then.
He had been your first real boyfriend and a tiny part of you thought he'd be the man you would marry and have kids with. Sixteen year old you had her life planned out to the dot.
It had taken years for you to accept him as a friend again.
Joel and you had become closer in the meantime. He’d told you all about his plans to open his own business and that he wanted to propose to his girlfriend.
You were also the first person he told when he learned that he’d become a father.
He had been scared but so happy.
And you knew from the moment you saw him hold Sarah for the first time, that he would move heaven and earth for his little girl. Nothing would stay in his way. Not when his girlfriend left him with a toddler, not when both of his parents died, leaving him to deal with everything on his own.
Sarah was his whole world.
Until the world ended.
The years after that were dark and painful. That was the excuse you used, that you needed to feel something different for at least a little moment, when you started to sleep with Tommy again.
Which went on for years even after you made it to the QZ.
Until he left without a word.
Leaving you and his brother again to pick up the pieces.
“Tommy!” you heard Joel shout and your eyes followed his gaze, his horse stopping as he jumped off.
He looked different. Older than you remembered him. But there walking down the steps was indeed Tommy Miller.
Joel had found him.
His eyes found yours as he hugged his brother, whispering your name in disbelief.
For a moment, a small moment you were beyond relieved to find him alive and well. Anger replaced that feeling pretty quickly. He was alive and well and in a fucking functioning town without ever sending a fucking message?
You had stopped counting how often you had been almost killed on this mission to find him because Joel and you thought something had happened to him and he needed saving.
You closed your eyes, swallowing your anger, finding Ellie watching you when your eyes opened again.
“Let’s have something to eat,” Maria said next to you and you gave her a sharp nod, leaving the Miller brothers behind.
You hated the fact that you cried when you were angry.
Tears were streaming down your face as you showered under the warmest fucking water you had felt in years, scrubbing your body furiously.
The nerve he had.
Not only was he perfectly fine, no he was married and about to be a father.
You didn’t like the way his wife Maria kept glaring at Joel not trying to be sneaky about it.
You could only imagine what he had told her.
He used to blame Joel for what you all had done after the outbreak on your way to the Boston QZ. You had always argued about it in the privacy of the shitty apartment you shared back in the QZ. Because Tommy was a fully grown man when he killed those people. He could have stopped and left. But it was easier to blame someone else for the decisions he was too scared or cowardly to make.
You could only hope that you’d be out of here first thing in the morning before you’d explode.
Of course life had other plans.
You walked into the house across the street just as Maria tried to warn Ellie about Joel.
“But there are clearly things you don't know about Joel,” you heard Maria say. You stopped outside the window to listen.
“Oh, like how he used to kill people? I know about that,” Ellie said.
“So then you understand my concern.”
“He doesn't do that anymore,” Ellie defended him.
“He stopped killing people?” Maria asked and you rolled your eyes.
“Innocent ones. And Tommy did it, too. Are you worried about him?”
You chose that moment to walk into the house, finding Ellie sitting in the kitchen, Maria cutting her hair.
“Tommy was following Joel. The way you are now,” Maria said looking at you.
“No offence but you have no idea what you are talking about,” you said and she raised her eyebrow.
“I think I do,” she said, putting the scissors down.
“Yeah? You are comparing a fourteen year old girl to a fully grown man who had all the time in the world to step away and stop what we did back then. But he didn’t. He never stops. He’s a fucking…” you stopped yourself, taking a deep breath.
“He told me about you. About how he regrets leaving without a word,” Maria said.
You scoffed.
“Sure he does. He always regrets doing things after he did them. That’s why he never sent word that he’s alive.”
“That’s my fault. And he didn’t know that you’d be coming to look for him,” she said.
“That’s what family does. We look out for each other. But maybe we’re not family anymore. Come on Ellie,” you said and she got up from the chair immediately, walking towards you.
“Stop,” Maria said and you sighed.
“I’ll take her to the movies and you…. I think you, Joel and Tommy need to talk.”
“You’re angry,” Joel looked up at you as you sat down next to him. He was trying to fix his boots.
“I thought I wasn’t anymore but…. Fuck look around this place? I’m just so… Fuck I really want to punch him,” you groaned and Joel chuckled.
“I know the feelin’,” he sighed.
You let your head fall against his shoulder, closing your eyes.
You felt his lips on your temple.
„You gonna tell him?“ He whispered. Your opened your eyes, shaking your head.
„Don’t think he would care,“ you mumbled.
„I think you would be surprised,“ he said quietly.
You both sat there in silence for a moment.
„I’m weak,“ Joel said after a moment. You sat yourself up, your head turning to look at him.
„What do you mean?“
He sighed, not looking up at you as he focused on fixing his shoes.
„Lately, there are these moments where the fear comes up outta nowhere, and... my heart... feels like it's stopped. And I have dreams. Every night,“ he said quietly.
You carefully put your hand on his shoulder.
„What kinda dreams?“
„I don't know. I can't remember. I just know that when I wake up... I've lost somethin’,“ you saw the tears in his eyes. You knew something had changed in the last weeks. He was more quiet, staring of in the distance when he thought you weren’t looking.
„I'm failin' in my sleep. That's all I do. It's all I've ever done is fail her again and again. I fail you again and again. I see you die ever single night in my dreams and I…“ you put your arms around his shoulders, tears running down your cheeks.
„I can’t protect you anymore,“ he whispered and you tensed.
„I’m gonna… I’m gonna ask Tommy to take her. I’m just gonna get her killed. Both of you. I know it. I have to leave…“ you did not give him a chance to continue, jumping up from your position.
„You gonna ask Tommy to take her? What about me? You gonna just…. Let him take me too? Because you know I won’t leave her. We’re all she has Joel,“ you said, your voice getting louder.
„You could stay here. It’s safe. You would be safe…“ he said but you shook your head.
„Stay here with Tommy? Super happy Tommy who finally got the right woman pregnant?“ You yelled.
He said your name, pleading but you shook your head.
„You know, I should have seen this coming. I knew I would end up alone. First him, now you… I really thought that you felt…“ you shook your head, „How silly of me to think it would be different with you…“ you laughed bitterly, stubbornly brushing the tears away.
You took a deep breath.
„One day you are gonna wake up and realise that the only reason why you feel so alone, is because you pushed everyone away. Because you think you don’t deserve to be cared for. Tommy, Ellie…. Me….,“ you shook your head before you looked at him.
„Don’t bother asking Tommy. I’m gonna leave with her first thing in the morning. You’ll never gonna see either of us again,“ you said before you turned around, ignoring him calling after you, hoping you’d made it back to the house before you broke down.
You hadn’t even crossed the street when you heard your name being called, Tommy’s familiar voice startling you.
You just walked faster, not bothering to stop.
„Please just…“ you felt his hand on your shoulder and you whirled around, glaring up at the man you once loved so much.
„Leave me alone,“ you gritted through your clenched teeth, before turning away from him.
„It’s what you Miller’s do best,“ you called over your shoulder before you made your way back to the house.
You laid awake in bed when you heard the door open.
You had told Ellie in the most gentle way that it would only be you who would take her to the fireflies. Of course she had questions, and you promised her to answer every single one once you were on the road.
She had fallen asleep rather quickly before you made your way to the biggest bedroom. You just laid down on the bed, fully clothed staring at the ceiling as the hours passed by.
You were broken, you had been for a long time.
The only thing you could always count on to keep you going was Joel.
He was your rock and part of you always thought you were his. Even when he was with Tess or any other women. At the end of the day, once he needed someone to talk, to really talk to, he always came to you.
He held you when you found out you were pregnant after Tommy left.
He was there when you woke up in pain, he was there when you found out you lost the baby.
He was always there.
And along the way you fell in love with him.
You turned your head to look at Joel who was standing in the door just looking at you.
It was like there was something in the air all of the sudden, the hairs on your neck standing up as his eyes moved over your body, his gaze lingering on your lips.
„I’m sorry,“ he said quietly, slowly walking towards you.
When you didn’t say anything as he stopped in front of the bed he slowly sat down, reaching for one of your hands. You were too tired to fight him.
„You were right,“ he started, his thumb running over the back of your hand, his head turned down.
„I keep pushing you away because I’m so fucking scared to lose someone else I…,“ he shook his head.
„I care about. I care about you so much, it scares me. It would kill me if something happened to you, because I was to weak to protect you. And I… I can’t lose you. I just can’t. I wanna keep you safe and….“
„Joel….“ You interrupted him and he looked at you as you slowly sat yourself up so you were kneeling on the bed next to him. You reached the hand he was not holding up, your fingers brushing over his cheek, his eyes closing slowly as he released a shuddering breath.
Your hand lingered on his skin, your fingertips rubbing over the corner of his lips and his eyes flipped open, finding yours.
„You know I love you, right?“ You whispered and his eyes softened for a small moment, before he nodded.
„Then please let me in and let me love you,“ you said before you leaned in and kissed him softly.
He tensed for a moment before one of his hands came to the back of your head, deepening the kiss, pulling you closer, his other hand on your back.
„Joel,“ you gasped, your hands pulling at his shirt until he parted from you, taking his shirt off. You let your hands wander up your chest before you pulled your own shirt off, leaving you in just your old bra.
„Fucking beautiful,“ he whispered before he kissed you again, slowly leaning over you until you were laying in bed with him above you.
Joel slowly kissed down your throat, your chest until he gave all his attention to your breasts. He sucked on your nipples through the thin worn fabric of your bra until you sat yourself up, almost making him fall off the bed, both of you laughing as you took it off, a groan leaving his mouth, one of his hands palming himself. You bit into your bottom lip before you got closer to him, your fingers opening his belt buckle, then his pants.
He stopped you before you could get any further.
„Let me make you feel good first,“ he whispered, kissing you forehead.
„Later,“ you said, looking at him, something in his eyes darkening as he saw the lust in yours.
Within seconds you both were naked and he just looked at you in awe as he knelt between your parted legs.
His hands wandered up your thighs, his fingers running shivers over your whole body, your back arching.
„Please Joel,“ you whispered, your hands coming to rest on his hips until he finally leaned down and kissed you, one of his hand wrapped around his cock as he swiped the head through your wet pussy, teasing your clit with it, making you moan.
He lined himself up, kissing you deeply as he slowly entered you inch by inch, both of you panting against each others mouths.
„Shiiiit, you feel perfect. Fucking perfect,“ he grunted before he began to move, thrusting slowly inside of you, his arms wrapped around your body, his lips all over you.
No matter how close he was, you wanted him closer, your arms wrapped around his back, pulling him against you as he continued to fuck you deeply.
He kissed away the tears that escaped your eyes, overwhelmed at finally being so close to him. Holding him. Feeling him.
He made you cum twice before he pulled out and came with a groan of your name, his cum spilling all over your stomach.
He cleaned you up after, holding you close, kissing you until you fell asleep.
While he watched over you, praying to whatever god there still was, that you would forgive him.
You didn’t stir when Joel left your bed after he watched you sleep until the room slowly filled with light at the upcoming sunrise.
You didn’t feel it as he kissed your forehead before he slowly got up from the bed and got dressed, grabbing his bag.
You didn’t hear his whispered „Forgive me“ as he stepped out of the room.
You were sleeping so deeply you didn’t even hear Eliie argue as Joel walked her out of the house.
Not looking back towards the house you were sleeping in.
The first thing you noticed was that you were warm. You hadn’t felt warm in a long time. Smiling to yourself you slowly opened your eyes, frowning immediately as you noticed how bright it was outside.
Your eyes found the old cock on the bedside table, widening as you noticed that it was already around noon.
„Shit,“ you cursed, your head now turning to the other side of the bed where Joel had laid next to you only to find it empty.
A uneasy feeling washed over you as you took the room in, finding it vacant of anything that belonged to Joel.
Suddenly fully awake you jumped out of bed, dressing yourself within seconds before you walked out of the room and across the hallway opening the door to the room Ellie had been asleep in.
Empty.
Your breath came in short pants, your throat squeezing tight, the beginnings of a panic attack making their entrance as your hands started to shake.
Shaking your head you tried to get your lungs to fill with air, your back leaning against the wall behind you.
Tears were springing into your eyes.
He wouldn’t just leave you after last night. Right?
Not after he….
A knock on the door let you jump up, running down the stairs, opening the door to find the wrong Miller brother standing in front of it, his expression one you could read without words.
„He’s gone, isn’t he?“ You whispered.
Tommy only nodded.
Taking a deep breath you looked up towards the ceiling, shaking your head slowly.
„Talked to the council. You can stay here as long as you want. Gotta take up some work at some point but there’s no rush…“
You scoffed.
„You must be really delusional if you think I am going to stay here,“ you said, looking at him. You were still angry, but more so tired. Tired of always being the second choice.
He said your name, almost pleading.
„I’m sorry for not telling you before I left. I thought it was easier to just… rip the bandaid off. I knew you’d be okay. You’re one of the strongest people I ever met. And I… I just couldn’t stay there with Joel and….“
You wanted to tell him then.
To tell him that he broke that strong person he thought you were.
Finding out the day after he left that you were pregnant with his child, broke you.
And you couldn’t tell him that to this day you blamed that the stress of him leaving made you lose the baby you never got to meet.
It wouldn’t help anyone to tell him.
„I am going to get my stuff and I want a horse and some supplies. Then I’ll be out of here. I can’t keep doing this…“ you said.
„No, No please stay. I want to… I want to make this right between us. I promised Joel I…“ Tommy began, but you held a hand up, stopping him.
„Maybe you and your brother should try talking to me before making all the decisions for me. A horse and some supplies. You owe me that much. After that I’ll make sure we never cross ways again,“ you didn’t wait for his reply, turning around and marching up the stairs to pack your stuff.
An hour later you were settled on top of a horse called Diamond. Tommy had gotten you the supplies you asked for, even a first aid kid and walked next to you as the gate opened.
„Where are you gonna go?“ He asked.
„Away,“ you only answered, even though you had a clear destination in mind, before you took one last look at him. You saw his wife standing on the end of the street, watching you.
As you looked back at Tommy you realised that you felt nothing for the man who was looking up at you now.
„I know you love him,“ he startled you.
„Pretty sure he loves you too, so once you found him, don’t be too hard on him. We Miller’s a stubborn bunch of people who only want to protect the people we love. Even if it ends up hurting them even more,“ he said, keeping his eyes on you.
„Take care of your wife,“ was all you said before you kicked your legs to ride out of Jackson.
The town you found shelter in seemed abandoned enough to rest until this blizzard passed by. It should’t be more than a days ride to the university of the fireflies now, but you could not make it in this storm. So you bunked down in a abandoned house, the windows and doors already barricaded making sure Diamond, your horse, had something to drink and eat in the garage before you bunked down in the surprisingly tidy house next to it.
You even found some food, including long expired peaches that brought a small smile to your face as you thought about how much Ellie would love them.
It was on the next morning that you heard a noise outside. You made your way into the garage, finding Diamond getting nervous too.
You petted her nose before you slowly risked a glance outside of the broken window of the garage, your eyes widening when through the heavy snow falling outside, you could make Ellie out on top of a horse.
You put your jacket on and opened the door, startling the girl who now had her riffle pointed at you.
You held your hands up and her shoulders fell as she realised who you were, starting to sob.
It was then that you noticed that the horse she was sitting on, was dragging something behind it, the air leaving your lungs one one gasp as you realised that it was Joel.
And he was not awake.
„How long?“ You asked Ellie, willing your fingers to warm up as you dug through your first aid kit.
Ellie had helped you carry Joel inside. Now she was sitting on the little sofa, her tears still running down her cheek as she watched you.
„Three hours ago? Maybe more? I don’t know. We… We were at the university and we…. We were almost out when that man….“
You were closer to the university than you thought then.
You were dying to walk over to her to soothe her, but Joel was your first priority. He looked very pale, his lips blue from the cold. With shaking fingers your unzipped his jacket, fighting down the whimper as you saw how much blood he was still loosing, your hand immediately pressing down to stop the bleeding.
Ellie had made a good job with the bandage she had put on his wound.
He didn’t even stir.
„It was a broken baseball bat. He… he pulled it out and he was okay at first but then he… he… he fell and now he’s not….“
„Ellie,“ you said and she looked at you with wide wet eyes.
„You did the right thing. He shouldn’t have pulled it out but there’s nothing we can do about it now. I am… I am gonna try to fix him, okay?“ You said, nodding as if to make yourself believe that you could.
She mirrored you.
„Can I help?“ Ellie asked.
„There’s a bathroom upstairs. Get as many towels as possible and then get a bucket with snow from outside. Snow from the top. We need…. We need to clean him. But I don’t have… We….“ You took a deep breath, stopping your ramble.
„Towels and snow, got it,“ she said, throwing her backpack down before she made her way upstairs.
You took a deep breath, sucking your bottom lip in.
„Don’t you die on me Joel Miller, I still have to yell at you“ you whispered as you leaned down, to kiss his temple before you used the scissors of your first aid kit to cut his shirt open.
It came to you on the day after, that the only stitches you ever did were on Joel Miller’s body. You had stitched a cut on his upper arm almost fifteen years ago. Then a bulled wound on his hip.
But that was nothing like what you were dealing with here.
You had used the little bottle of disinfectant to clean his wound as best as you could, before you stitched him up and he had not even moved a muscle through all of it.
It was sometime during the early morning hours that he stirred, waking up only enough to ask after Ellie, falling back asleep immediately when you came into his line of view, his whispered name on your lips.
You and Ellie had pulled him in as many blankets as possible to get him to warm up.
It was like you checked the wound hourly to make sure it wasn’t bleeding anymore and somehow in the early hours of the afternoon it seemed to stop.
Ellie was spending almost all her time outside in the garage with the horses after she woke up. She wasn’t talking much, but she had told you that she was glad you had found them.
A groan made you jump up and you found Joel’s eyes flutter open, taking in his surroundings until his eyes focused on you, whispering your name, his voice hoarse.
„How are you feeling?“ You asked softly, coming to kneel next to him, your hand on his cheek.
„Like I got stabbed by a bat,“ he groaned and you felt the tears springing into your eyes as you smiled sadly.
„Not the time for jokes Miller,“ you said and he sighed, his head turning in your hand.
„Ellie?“ He asked.
„In the garage with the horses,“ you said and he nodded slowly.
„'Am sorry,“ he said and you shook your head.
„It’s okay,“ you said and now he shook his head.
„Was a shitty thing to leave,“ he grunted.
„Yeah it was. And I am gonna yell at you for that, but only once you are all healed up,“ you promised with a small smile, your fingers brushing over your skin.
The door flew open and Ellie ran in with wide eyes.
„There was someone out there,“ she said and your eyes widened before you got up while she knelled down next to Joel who was trying to get up.
„Wait here with him and do not let him get up,“ you instructed Ellie as you made your way out into the garage.
The windows of the whole house were barricaded so the only way to actually look outside were the broken windows over the garage door.
You carefully stepped onto the chair you had found inside to look out of the window and you could see three men walk down the street, as if they were looking for something. They didn’t look like they were raiders, not carrying any kind of bags or supplies on them. And only one was holding a handgun. You were glad that it had continued to snow during the night, covering up all the tracks that led to the house.
You watched as they rounded the block, noticing how thin they looked as they walked back the way they came from, unease washing over your body.
„They must be around here somewhere. How far can they get? Rodrick fucking stabbed him with his bat,“ you heard one of them mutter as they walked past the house, your heart stopping.
They were looking for Joel.
For Joel and Ellie.
You had to get out of here.
You watched them until they had left the street, before you got down from the chair.
Still in your thoughts you made you way back inside the house.
The longer you thought about them the more uncomfortable you became. You had the same feeling a couple times before, the last time just before you made it out of Kansas City, a city you only barely survived.
Both Ellie’s eyes and Joel’s were on you when you entered the room.
„It would be better for Joel to stay here and heal but…“
„We have to leave?“ Ellie asked and you nodded.
„I…They are looking for you. I heard them talk,“ you said as you knelt down on the other side of Joel who was looking up at you. You put your hand on his forehead, noticing that he was running a little hot.
You would need medicine for him. You only had some expired aspirin. That wouldn’t help him if his wound got infected.
„We’ll leave first thing in the morning,“ you decided, hoping that it would be for the best.
It was a four day ride back to Jackson.
Four days that felt like four weeks.
Joel had been strong enough to get on his feet on the morning you left and both Ellie and you had helped him up into the saddle before you got onto the horse in front of him, using two belts you had found upstairs to strap him against you, his arms coming to wrap around you.
You heard every groan of pain he let out as he tried to keep himself up on the horse.
On the second day, once you were far enough away from the town you felt him burn up, mumbling against your ear, his head resting on your shoulder.
It was getting harder to keep him on the horse with you, Ellie riding next to you, her worried eyes always on Joel.
More than once he told you to just leave him and get both you and Ellie to safety but you and Ellie were having none of it.
When you saw the gates of Jackson you were almost crying, Ellie galloping in front of you even though you called after her to slow down, hoping they wouldn’t just shot her on sight.
But then the gate opened and for the first time in a long time you were glad to see Tommy Miller running towards you, already yelling commands out.
The next hours were a blur.
You pretty much passed out the moment you knew Joel was taken care off. You woke up to beeping in a dark room, only a little lamp on the table next to the bed you were laying in, your eyes immediately finding Ellie who had cuddled on the bed next to you. You carefully put an arm around her before you noticed someone else in the room.
Joel was laying in the bed next to yours, the constant beep of the monitor telling you that his heart was still beating.
You closed your eyes, releasing a shuddering breath as you tried to keep the tears in that were threatening to escape your eyes.
Ellie shifted in your arms and she turned around, her arm sneaking around you, her eyes looking up at you.
„Thank fuck you’re awake, these people around here are weird,“ she said and you huffed a laugh, hugging her closer.
„How long…?“ You asked but she interrupted you.
„We came here yesterday just before dinner. Breakfast was two hours ago? I’m not sure,“ she mumbled. You both jumped when the door opened, your head turning just in time to see Tommy walk in, followed from an older man.
„You’re awake,“ the man said and you sat yourself up, the sudden move making your head spin.
„I’m Carl, I’m the town doctor,“ he introduced himself to you before he walked over to Joel.
„Is he gonna be okay?“ You asked.
„Thanks to some medication and some generous blood donations,“ he eyed Tommy, „he should be making a full recovery. Nice stitches,“ he complemented and you released a relieved breath.
„You should have seen the blood transfusion, it was super gross,“ Ellie said with a shudder that made you laugh.
„I want you to rest too. You were severely dehydrated. That must have been some exhausting couple of days for you,“ he said, giving you a small smile before he looked at Tommy and left the room.
It was quiet in the room for a moment as you tried not to look at Tommy.
Ellie suddenly sat herself up with a hum.
„Weeeeeell this isn’t awkward at all, so I’m gonna go and get us some food,“ she announced before she jumped off the bed and left you alone with the Miller brothers.
For a long time the only noise inside the room was the constant beeping of Joel’s heart monitor.
„Why did you leave without saying anything?“ You finally asked and Tommy shifted in the chair he was sitting in.
„I couldn’t stay. Joel was…. He was getting more and more reckless. Then there was the fucking drugs. I wanted to… I though I could make the world better. just couldn’t stay there. I couldn’t watch him destroy himself any longer. And I am sorry I didn’t tell you. You didn’t deserve that,“ he said and you nodded.
„I know the things we all did were horrible. They haunt me too. And Joel…“ you look at him, sleeping in his bed.
„He was never the same after Sarah,“ you whispered.
„We all weren’t. We just dealt with it differently,“ Tommy said and you nodded.
„Are you gonna stay?“ He asked and you sighed, looking at him. There was no point in keeping a grudge anymore. Not after what happened. You were safe. Ellie was safe. Joel was safe and hopefully close to being okay again.
„I have to tell you one thing,“ you decided. He deserved to know why you had been so angry. Why you blamed him for every single bad thing that happened after he left.
„Okay,“ he said, nodding at you.
„On the morning after I found out your left, I also found out that I was pregnant,“ you said quietly, seeing his eyes widen, before he took a deep breath.
„I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad, I am telling you so you can understand why I was so angry and hurt,“ you explained.
„I can’t keep blaming you for every bad thing that happens to me,“ you whispered.
„What,“ he cleared his throat, „what happened?“ He asked.
„I lost it six weeks after you left,“ you said with a sad smile, your finger brushing the tear away that ran down your cheek.
He looked wrecked.
„I’m so fucking sorry,“ he shook his head, his hand running through his hair.
You shrugged.
„It just wasn’t meant to be,“ you sobbed, cursing to yourself as you turned your head to hide your face against the pillow.
„Fucking hug her,“ you both heard Joel grunt and you almost jumped up, your head spinning again.
„Joel, thank fuck,“ Tommy said before he jumped out of his chair as he saw you get out of bed on shaky legs. His arms held you up as you stumbled towards Joel’s bed who gave you a painful smile.
„Come on, let’s get you into bed,“ Tommy whispered before he helped you sit down, pulling your legs up onto the bed as you carefully laid down next to Joel, his right arm opening for you.
You put your hand on his chest, careful to not hurt him as you inhaled his familiar, if somewhat sweaty, scent.
„I’ll leave you two alone,“ Tommy said as he looked at the both of you, but you were already asleep.
„I’ll take care of her,“ Joel whispered before he kissed your forehead.
Six weeks later
„I fucking hate math!“ Ellie groaned, letting her head fall against the table.
„Language!“ Joel called from the kitchen and she rolled her eyes while you held back a giggle.
„Nobody likes math,“ you assured her, your arm wrapping around her shoulder.
„Why do I have to learn it then?“
„Because that’s just the way life is. We all have to learn shit we don’t want,“ you said, you both laughing when Joel again called you out on your cursing.
„I am a fully grown adult, Mr. Miller, leave me alone,“ you yelled towards the kitchen, only to hear his footsteps seconds later before he appeared in the door, both of his hands on his hips, giving you an exhausting head shake.
„What am I gonna do with you?“ He asked before he walked over. You let go of Ellie’s shoulder as he stepped closer, his lips coming to kiss your cheek.
„Ugh gross,“ Ellie gagged, jumping out of her seat.
„I’m gonna go and ask Dina to help me with math!“ She said, running out of the house, the door falling closed behind her.
„She forgot her homework,“ Joel said, now kissing your neck.
„Mmmmmhhh….“ You nodded, tilting your head to give him more space, his lips wandering up your neck.
One of his hands sneaked to the front of your shirt until his palm softly palmed your breast.
„Think you’re up for some…. Biology?“ He asked and you giggled, getting up from your chair to turn around, your arms crossing behind his neck.
„Birds and bees again?“ You said, playfully annoyed while he nodded, all serious, before you both broke out in laughter.
„We gotta work on your flirting, Miller,“ you said before you kissed him, shrieking when his fingers pinched your ass.
„Love you,“ he mumbled against your lips and you smiled.
„Love you too,“ you whispered before you let him guide you towards your bedroom.
#my fic#Joel Miller x fem. reader#Joel Miller#Tommy Miller x fem. reader#Tommy Miller#Pedro Pascal#tlou#tlou fanfiction#joel miller fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic#fan fiction#pedro pascal characters#pedro pascal fanfiction
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Vigilante's Lullaby |Part One|
cw: Red Hood, Gender Neutral Reader, Angst, Mentions of violence, blood, injury, medical procedure, hurt no comfort, dark romance, hurt no comfort word count: 1.9K summary: In the shadows of Gotham’s underworld, you run a clinic that caters to those no one else dares to help. One night, Red Hood stumbles in, bloodied and defiant, refusing assistance despite his wounds. As you force him to stay, a strange, electrifying tension fills the air.
A/N: Hello! Just finished up the final edits to the first part of this new series. For the sake of dramatics I really liked the idea of leaving Jason's identity anonymous and sticking with his alias. Also as of now I'm wanting this to be a four part series but of course that can change! If you'd like to be tagged in the next part just let know <3 As always comments and feedback are greatly appreciated - Libra * .♡ *:・゚✧ ⋆ ࣪.* ࣪.⋆
(DC Masterlist) (Marvel Masterlist)
(Synopsis) (Part Two)
The clinic was a small, dimly lit space tucked away in the decaying heart of Gotham’s underbelly. The walls were cracked and worn, the faded paint peeling in corners no one bothered to care about anymore. Shadows lingered in every corner, as thick as the stench of sweat and antiseptic that clung to the air. It was late—well past the time most sane people would be out in Gotham. But sanity was a luxury in a city like this, and you’d long since learned to live without it.
You leaned over the trembling form of a thug, stitching up the gash in his side with quick, practiced movements. He wasn’t important—just some small-time crook who got into a fight he couldn’t win. It wasn’t your job to ask questions. You weren’t paid for that. People came to you because you never asked why, and you never judged. Criminal, vigilante, or something in between, it didn’t matter. In Gotham, everyone bled the same.
The thug winced, muttering a half-hearted complaint, and you hushed him quietly, focusing on the task at hand. It was routine—just another night in a city that never slept, where violence was a constant companion.
Then the door slammed open, hard enough to rattle the rusting hinges.
You looked up, instincts on edge, fingers stilling mid-stitch. A figure loomed in the doorway, casting a long shadow across the floor. The helmet gave him away immediately—Red Hood. His presence dominated the room, his chest heaving, blood dripping onto the worn floorboards.
"Out," his voice growled, distorted through the modulator in his helmet. It wasn’t directed at you.
The thug on the table scrambled up, clutching his side. He didn’t wait for a second warning. As soon as Red Hood stepped into the room, the thug fled into the night, disappearing into Gotham’s shadows.
The vigilante staggered forward, his movements heavy, labored. Blood soaked through his jacket, staining the dark fabric and leaving a trail of crimson in his wake. His breathing was harsh, his body barely holding itself together, but when you moved toward him, his gloved hand shot up.
“I don’t need your help,” he growled, even though his knees almost buckled from the effort of staying upright.
You stopped short, eyeing him carefully. His wounds were bad. Too bad. He wouldn’t last long in this state, not even in Gotham. But you’d seen his type before. The kind who thought they could muscle through the pain, through death itself, out of sheer willpower. Maybe he had cheated death once, but not tonight. Not like this.
“You’ll die if I don’t patch you up,” you said, voice calm but firm. You weren’t afraid of him. That was important. Red Hood’s entire persona thrived on fear. “Sit down. Now.”
His helmet turned slightly, as if sizing you up. There was tension in the way he held himself, every muscle coiled tight, ready for violence even though his body was betraying him. His fingers twitched like they were ready to reach for his gun. But you stood your ground.
“I’m not going to ask twice,” you added, eyes narrowing. “You won’t make it out of this room if you don’t let me help.”
For a long, painful moment, he didn’t move. The silence stretched, thick with tension. Then, with a sharp intake of breath, he let his hand drop to his side. A begrudging acceptance. He stepped forward and sank into the chair, the weight of his injuries catching up to him.
You didn’t hesitate. Moving quickly, you grabbed your supplies and knelt beside him, carefully peeling back his jacket to expose the wound. The gash across his side was deep, and there were other cuts and bruises littering his body, evidence of a fight he barely survived.
As you worked, the room fell into a tense quiet, broken only by the sound of his labored breathing. You could feel the heat radiating off him, the mix of blood and sweat clinging to his skin. Your fingers brushed against his flesh, the contact sending an unexpected jolt through you. The air between you seemed to grow heavier with each passing moment, thick with something unspoken.
He watched you from behind the mask, his eyes hidden but his presence palpable. You didn’t flinch, didn’t show any reaction to the violence he wore so plainly on his skin. You’d seen worse, and you wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of thinking he unsettled you. Still, there was something in the way he sat so still now, the way his body surrendered to your touch, that made the space between you feel... electric.
“You don’t ask questions,” Red Hood said after a while, his voice low, almost conversational now. There was a hint of something behind his words, like he was testing you. “Everyone else does.”
“I’m not everyone else,” you replied simply, not looking up from his wounds as you stitched them closed with quick precision.
He made a noise, somewhere between a grunt and a laugh, though there was no humor in it. “No. I guess you’re not.”
Your hands lingered for a moment longer than necessary as you finished up, the tips of your fingers brushing against the edge of his skin. His body tensed slightly, and you could feel the air shift between you. There was a moment—brief, almost imperceptible—where Red Hood’s guard dropped. His gaze softened behind the mask, as if for just a second, he was letting you see past the armor. Past the walls he had built so high.
But then, just as quickly, it was gone.
Red Hood stood abruptly, wincing as he moved, pulling his jacket back into place. He didn’t say thank you—he wasn’t the type. He didn’t have to. The way his eyes lingered on you, just for a heartbeat longer than they should have, told you everything.
“Don’t expect me to come back,” he muttered as he made his way to the door.
You didn’t respond. You didn’t have to.
He disappeared into the night, and you stood in the quiet aftermath, staring at the blood he left behind on the floor. Something about that encounter stuck with you. It was more than just another wounded vigilante passing through your clinic. It felt like the start of something darker. Something deeper.
A week passed, and you tried not to think about him.
But Gotham had a way of bringing people back into your life whether you wanted them or not. The nights were long, the clinic busy as always, but a part of you found yourself glancing at the door more than you cared to admit. You told yourself it was just a matter of curiosity—nothing more.
Until he returned.
This time, Red Hood didn’t burst in with the same dramatic entrance. He slipped through the door quietly, his presence immediately recognizable despite the effort he seemed to make to go unnoticed. He was wounded again, though not as badly as before. His jacket was torn, blood staining his side, but his steps were more measured, less desperate.
You raised an eyebrow as he stepped into the light, crossing your arms over your chest. “I thought you weren’t coming back.”
His lips twisted into something like a smirk, though there was no humor behind it. “Didn’t have a choice.”
Without waiting for your response, he sat down in the chair again, wincing as he moved. You took a deep breath, grabbing your supplies once more. This time, there was less urgency, but the tension between you had only grown in his absence. As you worked, the silence stretched again, but it wasn’t the same. The weight of unspoken words hung in the air.
“You live like this every night?” you asked after a while, breaking the quiet. “Bleeding all over the city?”
He chuckled, though it was dark and hollow. “It’s Gotham. Bleeding’s part of the job description.”
You glanced up at him, instinctively drawn to where his eyes should be beneath the mask, though you still couldn’t see them. The white lenses covering his eyes remained in place, a barrier between the two of you, preventing you from truly seeing the man beneath. But you could feel his gaze on you, sharp and unwavering, as if he were studying you just as closely.
There was always something about that mask—how it made him unreadable, cold, distant. Yet, in moments like this, when the tension in the room grew thick, you could feel the weight of emotions hidden behind it. The silence stretched on for a beat too long, the sound of your steady breathing filling the space as you tried to ignore the electric pull between you.
“And what job is that, exactly?” you asked, your tone carefully measured. You couldn’t let your curiosity get the better of you, but the question slipped out before you could stop it.
He hesitated for a brief moment, his head tilting slightly as if considering his answer, though the visor obscured any hint of where his gaze fell. "Righting wrongs. Settling scores," he finally said, his voice low and cold. "Call it whatever you want."
The cold finality in his voice sent a shiver down your spine. He wasn’t just talking about Gotham’s criminals. No, there was something more personal in his words. He was talking about himself—his own demons, his own darkness.You didn’t push further. It wasn’t your place, and you knew better than to pry into the shadows he carried. But it didn’t stop you from feeling the weight of it, the sheer force of the rage and pain he carried with him.
“I’ve seen plenty of people come through here with wounds like yours,” you said softly, focusing back on the gash you were stitching up, your hands steady despite the tension in the air. “They usually don’t last long. This city eats people alive.”
His head tilted slightly, and though you couldn’t see his eyes, you felt the intensity of his attention shift back to you. For a moment, the air felt heavier, thicker. His voice, when he finally spoke again, was low, rough. “I’m not most people.”
You couldn’t help the small, bitter smile that tugged at your lips. “No. I guess you’re not.”
The silence that followed wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, it felt charged, like standing on the edge of something dangerous. There was always something about him that made you feel that way, as though you were staring into an abyss and contemplating whether to jump. Maybe you were a danger to each other, a collision waiting to happen.
When you finished patching him up, your fingers lingered, the soft brush of your skin against his as you pulled the gauze into place. This time, he didn’t flinch, didn’t pull away. Instead, he remained still, the air between you crackling with something unspoken.You glanced up at him again, meeting the featureless gaze of his mask, your breath catching in your throat. You couldn’t see his eyes, but you could feel them on you, feel the tension simmering beneath the surface.
Something was happening between you two—something inevitable, dangerous, and completely out of your control.
Without a word, he stood, pulling his jacket back over his bandaged torso. The movement was sudden, almost abrupt, as if he needed to break the moment before it went any further. He didn’t say goodbye. Didn’t offer any words of gratitude or reassurance.
But you knew he’d be back.
Even as he left, the heavy door of your clinic closing behind him, the presence of him lingered in the room—dark, dangerous, and unmistakably powerful. The pull between you both was undeniable, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever was happening between you was far from over.
And it was only a matter of time before that tension snapped.
#jason todd#red hood#jason todd x reader#red hood x reader#dc fandom#dc fanfic#dc comics#dcu#dc universe#batfam#new series#Vigilante's Lullaby#forbidden love#hurt/angst#dark romance#gender neutral reader#gotham#jason todd x gn!reader#red hood x gn!reader#Red Hood Series#Jason todd Series#jason peter todd
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Helllooo! Request are open and I'm running over here. Can I request hdc for alejandro vargas and ghost, being jealous because there crush is a little bit touching with another men. Thank youu honey.
A/N: This is definitely an interesting one! I'd be happy to write these for you, since you specifically specified them, I'll just do them for this one. :) I hope you enjoy, darling! I'm still learning how to write for Ale, so I apologize if he's a bit OOC! Also, thank you all for over 1,000 notes on my first headcanon request! I am so, so happy you all are liking the post! ~ Hannah
ALEJANDRO VARGAS
I imagine with Alejandro, this would be a slow burn friends to lovers sort of situation. You, Alejandro, and Rudy have all been friends since you all joined up together. Alejandro has always been on the flirtier side with most people, which is why whenever he flirts with you, you don't tend to think much of it. That's just who he is, right?
Los Vaqueros had just gotten a new member, a young, handsome man in his mid-twenties. He's conventionally attractive and funny, which some of the other women definitely admire, but your thoughts are elsewhere. Unfortunately - or fortunately, if you look at it a certain way - you were assigned to show him around the base and get him up to speed.
Cut to the both of you in the mess hall on base, chattering away. Alejandro sees the both of you, and his blood boils. Who does this hijo de puta think that he is?
What really pisses him off is when the young man leans in, saying something that makes you laugh and you playfully shove him away with a coy smile. Alejandro quickly storms out, furious with the young man, but furious with himself for getting so upset.
He doesn't realize you follow him out until he feels your hand on his shoulder.
"Ale? What's wrong, hermano?" If only you knew how much he hated that nickname coming from your lips.
When he turns, one look at how concerned you are, and all his frustrations come spilling from his lips. He's just about to brush it off as him being silly when you don't respond right away before a laugh is erupting from you.
"Ale, he's not into me. He's just friendly. I thought he was flirting with me earlier, but he let me know that he's no even interested in sexual stuff. He's ace," You reassure, and suddenly, Alejandro feels ridiculously stupid. But that falls aside when you stand on your toes and brush a kiss to his cheek. "Now come on, cariño, you need to eat." His eyes follow you as you return to the mess hall, and he's stunned into silence.
Maybe he feels a little less bad about getting jealous.
SIMON "GHOST" RILEY
This man hates his jealousy. Despises it.
But, it's a part of him nonetheless, and it's something he has to live with.
I imagine it as quiet, little things around base that really gets to him: you're a medic, a really good one at that, and the men absolutely love you for how kindly you treat them all. You have patience, but you aren't afraid to bark orders at them if they're acting out of place.
"MacTavish, if you rip your stitches one more time, I'll kick your ass into next fucking week." "Captain, I don't care if you have more paperwork to do, get your ass in bed before I drag you there myself." "Hold still or I will personally strap you to this cot myself, rookie."
Your feisty nature and take-no-shit attitude is absolutely what drew him to you initially. Cue almost a year of pining on his end, and on your end, but not to his knowledge.
The final straw that ultimately cracks his resolve is a young sergeant that is trying to flirt with you while you stitch up a bullet wound on his side. It's obvious you're just being polite as you accept his compliments and hum in response at his attempts at flirting, but it still rubs Simon the wrong way.
Simon's jealousy is quiet, boiling, settling in the center of his chest. Every touch of yours against the sergeant's skin merely stokes the flames, but he does nothing, continuing to brood in the corner. He waits until you're done, shooing the young man off with a half-assed threat of harm if he ruins his stitches. That's when you finally notice him.
"Ghost, what have I told you about lurking in my med bay?" You tease softly before taking note of the hard look in his eyes. Slowly, you put two and two together, chuckling softly. "Ah, I see. C'mere, big guy."
He isn't mad. Not at all. All he can think about is that young man, who has all he doesn't: charm, good looks, youth, and the blessing of a childhood unscarred by a demon of a father. Simon isn't so lucky.
He can't stop himself as he follows your instructions, stepping into your office and taking a seat at your desk as you close the door. You sit on top of your desk and smile down at him before you hold out your hand expectantly. He furrows his brows but gives you his hand anyway, grumbling something about how he "doesn't know where your filthy mitts have been."
As soft kisses are pressed to his knuckles, however, he goes quiet. "Silly, jealous man. Can't even see that I look at you the same way you look at me. Eyes of a hawk, my ass," You tease.
He turns every shade of red beneath his damn balaclava, and you're damn certain to tease him about it as he melts back into the seat.
Hijo de puta - Son of a bitch
Hermano - Brother
Cariño - Honey; dear
TAGLIST
@floral-force
#alejandro vargas x reader#alejandro vargas#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#cod mw2 2022#cod mw2#cod imagine#cod x reader#cod headcanons#runic writes
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random LU hcs before I go to church
Legend likes to draw, and while he uses it for practical purposes (he's compiling a bestiary of his own) he also likes to sketch random crap he finds while traveling
Hyrule weaves. Not fabric, since that's a bit legthly and requires materials he can't get or keep for long, but he's very good at making baskets and the like! When the rest go to his cave, it's just full of woven items, including his attempts at weaving a freaking chair. Hyrule is going to become Pier 1
Sky writes poetry but never shares it with anyone. Groose used to laugh at it when they were kids, and so he's very self-conscious about it (and not very good anyways). He does come up with some really, really good pieces though from time to time!
Warriors couldn't read before he enlisted. He had to learn, and did learn rather quickly once he had to, but he still did very much not grow up with books. He is, however, very fond of oral tradition and somehow keeps a library's worth of knowledge in his head, since he never knew how to write it down before.
Warriors loves folk tails and will use any excuse given in order to share them with the younger ones
Wind is a very proficient mapmaker. he's terrible at drawing figures or anything, but he's very good at charting things out and putting them down on paper
Wind has a great eye for photography though! He and Wild sometimes play a game where they have to find a particular item and take a pictograph of it and then they'll have one of the others judge which one is better. Wild's candids are usually better, but Wind has a talent from framing and using the light to his advantage that outshines Wild's.
Wind likes composing little tunes with the Windwaker when he's bored. he has accidentally discovered several magical songs and their effects in this manner. Sometimes Time debates if just teaching his the Song of Storms from the get go would have been better in the long run, since it would have saved them getting soaked so much
Four has a fascination with artistic metalwork. He can't do it himself, and often times can't understand how someone thought up the idea in the first place, but it gives him great delight to see various metal pieces/tools/items forged together into the oddest art pieces
Twilight claims he's no good art of any kind, usually blaming "these darn big paws o' mine", but the secret is that he's a talented embroiderer, he just doesn't consider it "art" in the same way the rest do. Most Ordon folks add stitch-work to things so he considers it standard practice, not exceptional.
Sky is also very good at stitch-work of all kinds
When Sky and Twilight discover their shared skill-set, they absolutely use it for evil (start adding little patterns and things on their brother's stuff). Is this competitive? They're Links, you tell me!
Time claims not to be very creative, but he's actually quite good at art himself! Just drawing, as his paintings have a very childish sort of color combinations and the like, but he's surprisingly very good with shading and proportions!
All the boys play music, but Twilight's a good hand on the fiddle/violin (but only for short periods) and Legend has a surprising preference for the piano/organ. They'd make an excellent duet if they actually managed to know any of the same songs
Wild cannot and should not play instruments, Hylia help your ears if he does. He's also not that great of an artist (look for JoJo's comic of him drawing a new tapestry, it's hilarious). He likes the art the others make, but in general, the best he can do it just making designs and patterns that always seem to resemble Korok puzzles.
#not me giving time my dad's art skills#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu legend#lu warriors#lu twilight#lu four#lu wild#lu time#lu sky#lu hyrule#lu wind#ketto's brainfarts
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