#I also have no idea who to tag XD
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umbreonix · 1 year ago
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Yay! thank for the tag @noraiir-arts! kfjkdkjgnf @2xlee psspsspss get on this, you arnt allowed to say no
picrew tag game
so i finally got my haircut and needed to make a picrew of me so !!!! gonna make a tag game outta this :D
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more or less what i look like rn so YAYYY
no pressure tags!! : @foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland @spaghett-onaplate @elblorbo @altruistic-meme @stygianirondiangelo @daylightsimon @fandom-venturer @mirabel-on-a-bicycle @zgmoonyandddd at anyone i missed out on/sees this post :D
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teecupangel · 2 years ago
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I wonder if you’ve ever thought about like, a glitch or a virus in the Animus accidentally causing all the playable ancestors to become self-aware and sentient. I kind of like the idea of them realizing they’re all essentially kinda stuck in the Animus servers and then banding together to essentially blow up Abstergo. hell, maybe Desmond is the reason why they’re all sentient, something about the Apple and the Eye started doing weird things to the samples they took from him so now the ancestors have to find his consciousness!
also I am ngl I think it would be very funny for them to occasionally be able to break into each other’s simulations for various purposes. Edward popping into the American Revolutionary War to say hi to his kid and grandkid. Jacob and Evie and Henry in Constantinople. Altaïr rolling around in the Caribbean, god help this poor non-swimmer.
(and maybe once they’ve gotten him out of wherever he’s been stashed Desmond can teach these guys how to like actually get into Abstergo’s servers and start ruining their lives?)
Ooooohhh, this would be fun and, considering which company Abstergo partnered with to develop the Animus games, this could have just as easily happened because bugs had always been part of the course when it concerned the games they have published.
It might have been a flaw in the Animus game console itself, simply because they had developed a ‘console’ that either didn’t require that the user be related to the genetic memory at all (which had been necessary to stabilize and synchronize with the memories) or they had included a ‘data set’ that includes the DNA origin to stabilize and synchronize with the memories (which meant that they were dealing with a setup they had not fully checked yet (considering Black Flag’s modern day setting was set in 2013 and was released before Rogue’s modern day setting in 2014, that would mean that their Animus iteration had to have been developed and send to Abstergo Entertainment with Sample 17’s data in a year or less).
Also, also, we have seen how ‘viruses’ can interact with the Abstergo games. Liberation’s secret ending which shows the ‘scenes’ that Abstergo tried to remove so that it seemed like Aveline joined the Templar Order in the end could only be accessed by finding a specific NPC in the game in various memory blocks.
So, in this scenario, the whole ‘non-canon character’ popping into other games could have happened during development BUT the Animus game they ship was meant to copy the memory blocks that research analysts got in development so those small inconsistencies could have happened during their breaks or flat-out during a time when no one was using the Animus at all.
The easter eggs (or some fans like to call them “too unrealistic and plain fanservice”) would be included in all the copies of their specific games those games only had minor tweaks to ensure they won’t crash (and have DRMs, I guess) and lesser time for Q&A because, let’s face it, they needed to cut costs somewhere before they were shipped off to ensure they had a yearly release.
It became just a normal part of the charm of these games and Abstergo is just going “Yes, it’s meant to show that we are all connected no matter how many centuries we are from one another!” but internally there are memos going “WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING???”.
Also, also…
We should set up some kind of timeline, I guess?
Because, as far as we can be sure, the only confirmed games that Abstergo Entertainment released are the following:
Liberations (based on Liberation with Aveline) - Prior to 2013
Pirates of Nightmares (based on Black Flag with Edward) - Around 2013 (also has a movie version called Devils of the Caribbean)
Note: We do not have any confirmation that they released any games based on Shay Cormac and, honestly, with how much Shay’s defection hinged on the power of the artifact (which they had probably had to cut out since they were going for ‘realism’), any games based on Rogue would probably need a lot of cuts and edits. They might have just, you know, given up on that in the end.
Buuuuutttt we have confirmation of these games as having been published prior to Arno Dorian’s memories being checked:
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Not counting the three on the bottom which we don’t really have any information about, this means that we have confirmation that the following have been released (and, in Edward’s and Aveline’s case, this could have been a re-release ala HD remastered style which Liberation did get in the PS4 era):
Altaïr
Shao Jun
Ezio (also, it’s just sooo Abstergo to go for ‘Fear and Loathing in Florence’, a reference to AC2, but use Ezio’s Brotherhood robes… soooo like Abstergo to use the Brotherhood!Ezio model)
Ratonhnhaké:ton
Aveline
Edward
BUT then you also get
Jacques De Molay
Rodrigo Borgia
Haytham Kenway
This means that if you want the Animus servers' data to be sentient then you can make at least these three Templars sentient as well if you wish to add more conflict to the entire thing.
Now, if we keep the supposed release date with the idea that they released it as Aveline → Edward → Altaïr → Shao Jun → Ezio → Ratonhnhaké:ton → HD releases (or maybe Helix is meant to be a collection like the real-world example of Ezio Trilogy or Rebels Collection)
Then what can happen is that Aveline is the first one to ‘wake up’ and she finds herself in the Caribbean, waking up on Edward’s ship. She tries to ask where she is and her appearance caused Edward to snap out of the ‘Animus control’ and gain sentient.
Then they decide to try and find out where they are via the Jackdaw, sailing her beyond the supposed walls of this place they find themselves in.
It’s during their travels and checking the strange ports (imagine lots of glitching + the entire vibe of Animus Island back in Revelations with each map turned into an island so this means that landlocked maps like Florence and Monteriggioni are now islands) that they see an Assassin taking down a target at the port before running away. They give chase and that’s how they meet Altaïr in Acre docks. Their appearance snapped Altaïr into gaining sentient but not just that…
He remembers up to his death, unlike Aveline who remembers up to her wedding night and Edward who remembers up to a night with Tessa.
No.
Altaïr knows more about where they are than he should.
And that’s when he sees it.
A figure walking the streets of Acre, walking further and further away from them, clad in white that did not belong in his time.
Altaïr gives chase and the two followed him because Altaïr knows more than them, that was for sure.
Altaïr still loses him but he feels like he knows that figure… knows it’s a man and he’s important.
He points at Edward as he says, “Important to both of us.”
But he also knows the man isn’t here in the island composed of Altaïr’s memories anymore.
And Aveline and Edward get a crash course of who they truly are (digital construct of the memories of long-dead Assassins) and where they are. The where is more confusing because Altaïr uses words like “the Animus must always be online to connect to the servers”, “this is the server that has all the data of all researched and analyzed memories”, etc but Edward just summarized it as “prison created by Templars, right?”
“In a way.”
So they board the Jackdaw to try and find an exit and to find this supposed man that was important to Altaïr and Edward.
Along the way, they docked in a port that ends with them waking up Shao Jun as she’s running away from those hunting her. She remembered that this was the memory where her mentor told her to find Ezio Auditore and Altaïr thinks he knows the name.
“But I know of a different name for him as well… Prophet. He was… He was the prophet of that man.”
Shao Jun joins them and she recognized Florence so they docked there and they find Ezio who was looking for feathers.
Ezio stares at Altaïr for a moment then he stares behind Altaïr, his eyes going wild. Altaïr immediately knew what he was looking at he quickly turned around.
This time, the figure was running the rooftops of Florence and the two gave chase, making the rest run after them.
During the chase, Ezio shouts, “Desmond!” and the figure stopped and turned around.
Before they could see his face, a flock of birds flew between them, and the man was gone.
They reached where they last saw the man and Ezio recognized it.
This… was where he and Federico wished that their lives would not change… the day before Ezio’s entire life turned upside down.
With Ezio becoming part of their crew, Ezio had the same information as Altaïr. He knows who he is, where they are, and what they truly are.
But his memories end after seeing Altaïr’s remains underneath Masyaf.
And… he also has his Apple.
Altaïr sees the Apple and realized…
He opened his pouch and, yes…
He has an Apple as well.
So Ezio joined them too and they continue to sail Jackdaw. (If you’d like Adéwalé to be sentient as well even if we have no confirmation that Abstergo profited from his memories as well, this would be a good time to do it)
This time, they get into a naval combat with an unknown ship and Edward is enjoying himself. The ship was beautiful and whoever was in command knew what they were doing.
So Edward decided to ram it and they’d all pile onto the other ship. The crew wouldn’t be able to win against 5 Assassins after all.
But the moment they rammed the ship, both of their ships began to glitch just as they hear a man with a British accent shout, “How is it you came to captain a ship, given the way you sail?”
When the glitching stopped, the Jackdaw looked like it had absorbed the other ship, creating a new ship that seemed to be a merged version of the two.
And there was an Assassin on board that they didn’t know. An Assassin holding an Apple and… he was looking to their right.
Where a lone island filled with buildings taller than any towers they had ever seen could be seen just before the horizon.
The Assassin pointed at the island and turned to face Edward as he said, “He’s waiting for us there… grandfather.”
(If you want Haytham to gain sentient, he’s in the captain’s quarters and he’d open the door a few seconds later with a splitting headache, telling Ratonhnhaké:ton his sailing is shit then stop when he sees Edward. Cue awkward family reunion)
Other Unorganized Notes:
I’m sorry I couldn’t include Jacob, Evie, and Henry, nonny. :(
This was focused on the idea that the Abstergo servers mainly have data of the published ‘games’ while the memories still being researched are in another more secured private server.
Although, considering that Arno and the Frye twins were more ‘modified’ by the Assassins, maybe they could come in as a virus before Edward and the others meet Ratonhnhaké:ton. I think it would be a change of pace if Arno and the Fryes (with Jayadeep) know more than the ‘old guards’. Hell, they could say “We hitched a ride with the virus Erudito sent to find Sample 17 because the public noticed he always makes an appearance as an NPC in all the games so the Assassins think that he’s somewhere here.” “He’s not 17. His name is Desmond.” “Right, didn’t mean to offend anybody.”
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funkytoesart · 10 months ago
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does anyone have any cozy games to recommend?
Preferably on switch or PC, as those are the consoles I have :) I've never gravitated towards playing games in my life ever but i'm intrigued by the concept of cozy games, and wanna experience/play some :D
So far I've played animal crossing, Disney Dreamlight Valley, and Palia.
I'm particularly interested in games with cool/immersive world building and storylines.
RPG recs in particular would be cool, although i'm intrigued by the idea of visual novels too (as well as any other game type that's cozy and not just a farming sim), and romancable characters is a plus, but not required!
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un-local · 9 months ago
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Hi! Do you think Rogier’s type to hug someone? If so what kind of hugs would he give (and by extension, Magdalene too)? And, if I dare ask, do they get to hug at some point?
Hi anon! Now this is a very interesting question…
Is Rogier a hugger? Oh boy. Well. There’s a lot to unpack with this, I think. Like the man himself, this question has layers. 
If you’ll permit me some wild speculation, let’s dive into this!
1] Is his facade a hugger?
Sure, if that’s what the other person needs. In the sense of, “this is what the situation calls for, this is what will rock the boat the least,” kind of way. A brilliant (and likely well-intentioned) imitation of sincerity. 
It might feel a little stiff. 
2] Is his Utter Detachment a hugger? 
Heavens no. Internally, he’s begging: “please, let’s not do this.” 
That sort of thing makes things harder than they need to be. Best avoided. 
Hugging probably isn’t his first instinct when it comes to comfort. He seems more the type to try to use his words, or give some other gesture of thoughtfulness/consideration. His “utter detachment” is more about maintaining distance, and therefore reducing vulnerability. I don’t think he’s heartless, but rather, severely uncomfortable with something that encroaches on that boundary he feels so dependent on. 
It feels like he’s turned to stone.
3] Is his touch starvation a hugger?
Absolutely, and he hates this. What a terrible affliction to have, with the company he keeps. He’s burying that as deep as he can. The good news is, in these lands, one can forget such appetites. He stopped hungering for these things long ago.
At least, until someone reminds him by initiating one.
…It feels like he’s fighting himself, resisting every instinct in him to melt into the embrace, to hold on for just that nearly-imperceptible moment longer. 
4] Is Rogier a hugger?
Now that’s the great mystery right there. Who’s Rogier? 
None of us know. Personally?
...Yeah. I think maybe so. 
I think perhaps, in an impulsive moment of joy, (“Hey Rogier, here’s the mending rune to save TWILD,”) he might pull someone in for a hug. Or I think it could be a somber, consoling gesture, when words won’t fix anything anymore. I think in a moment of tremendous relief, when death came a little too close, he might reach out and count his blessings as he catches his breath. 
I think it feels like he’s human under there. More human than he’s let anyone see in a long, long time. 
5] Is Magdalene a hugger?
Ha, oh yes. And she’s as hearty and vigorous in this regard as she is in every other aspect of her being. Prepare thine ribs. 
On one hand, you won’t be able to breathe, on the other:
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Just popped up on your screen XD
6] Do Rogier and Magdalene get to hug?
:3
(Of course, anon!) (But the real question is, under what circumstances?)
Thanks for the question, anon! :D This was fun to dive into!
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longagoitwastuesday · 4 months ago
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I'm three interactions away from spreading my Ijichi/Gojo agenda
#The most trusted person of the strongest sorcerer in hundreds of years is the man who drives him places#because he's so weak when it comes to powers that even a first year kid considers irrelevant in a fight#With the implications that has in this world#Wish we had breakfasts in this manga#(scene of Shoko‚ Megumi‚ Yuta‚ Ijichi and perhaps Utahime and Yuji reacting to Gojo's death as his death and not just in a Sukuna context)#But in five chapters I doubt we'll get even the main arcs sufficiently closed#so I don't dare hope for the impact of the loses in a 'normal' sense#But I would give an arm for some breakfast interactions so to speak#The second ending plays with that idea a bit. A pity I don't consider endings and openings canon#So I don't count them. As much as I would like to think somewhere in the time line they painted Megumi's sleeping face jigglypufflike#and went to give a walk by the beach while Yuuji wistfully looked at them#I talk too much#I should probably delete this later#With so many tags I forgot what this post was about xD#This is half a joke. Conceptually they're not bad but I'm also not invested at all in anything in a shippy way#I just pointed the Ijichi/Gojo thing out a bit in the context of how I have never seen something with them#while I see a lot of the ships with the other characters#Also not that it's bad the lack of a shippy air. And probably it's for the best considering the lack of breakfast scenes so to speak#I'm loving the potential of the platonic dynamics and it's already messing me up that there's no real depth to them#Megumi and Gojo could have been everything to me. Everything. I can't say it enough haha#Edit: Actively looking for this now and I can't find Ijichi x Gojo stuff here on tumblr. I'll try twitter and ao3 later or something maybe
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giantkillerjack · 2 years ago
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Yo I don't know if anyone else is seriously bothered by this but those "good luck" posts where everyone goes wow this post really works you HAVE to reblog it or else you won't get the good thing that happens when you reblog it and therefore it's your fault if the good thing doesn't happen because you didn't reblog the post,
Yeah, those posts. They don't ummmmmmmmm
They don't work.
Like, listen, a little prayer of good luck to give yourself hope is one thing, but every single one of these posts has a comment that is like "this is literally magic I received life-altering amounts of money because of this post REBLOG THIS NOW." And assuming these accounts aren't just also the original poster emotionally manipulating people - And brushing over how foolish/cruel it feels to give false hope and additional tasks to those in poverty AND moving on from how absolutely shitty these posts are for people with compulsion-related disorders or difficulty discerning reality--
it feels to me that the more we make up magic that doesn't exist in this world, the harder it is to see how things really are, and the more it obscures from us the magic that actually does exist. Things like magnetism, electricity, human thought and connection, emotion, storytelling, machinery, fire. That's the sort of magic we have in this world. These magics are real and they can be manipulated in miraculous and terrible ways.
And maybe it's just the way my mind works, but if I am able to convince myself that a photo of a four-leaf clover has any amount of cosmic power over my life, then I am no longer looking clearly at my situation and what I need to do to change it. I am no longer able to truly see the magic that IS there.
I feel the same way about astrology honestly. I don't think it's bad to believe in as long as you're not ascribing it to unwilling people, but I personally do feel like if I believed the shapes the Romans saw in the stars made me who I am, then not only would I deny myself autonomy, but also I would miss out on the magic of the stars as huge lonely nuclear light giants indifferent to and ignorant of the lives of humans in terrifying and beautiful ways. I might even dismiss scientific discoveries that didn't fit my view. And I think I've seen enough of the damage that can do for one lifetime. (I am aware that I probably wouldn't have so many problems with astrology if I wasn't a furious ex-Catholic. But again, there's nothing wrong with faith as long as you're not slapping it onto other people.)
But, gods, I hate these fucking good luck posts.
I am not poor due to the stars or the lack of luck-money posts on my dashboard. I am poor because I live in oppressive power structures that I hope to see burn in my lifetime. I need as clear a view of this reality as possible.
If you want to spread positive magic, you have to spread love and information and images/stories of a beautiful shared future that other people are invited to be a part of.
I'm a big believer in Hope. I believe hope is a sacred thing. But I'm not a big fan of false hope.
So in conclusion, if you reblog this post and then tomorrow something very lucky and seemingly unrelated happens, it had nothing to do with this post.
The only Magic will be the magic of unfathomably huge amounts of data transferring all across the world instantaneously to reach you and show you words that came from someone else's heart and mind.
The only Magic will be however it makes you feel to know that if you need luck, at least one other person in this world wants good things to happen to you: I care that you are found. I care that you are loved. I care that you are safe. I care that you live long enough to find or be found by happiness and that you then live for a very long time after that. And I don't need to meet you to know that I'm right.
Know that I will spend the rest of my life working to build spaces where you would be welcome. And maybe you and I will never meet, but I happen to know there's a whole lot of people like me in this world. And I happen to know that as long as you are alive, there is a chance you will grow old in warmth and comfort, surrounded by friends. There is a chance that your old eyes will be crinkled at the sides with laugh lines. And that's magic. That's real magic.
#original#if I'm honest I think I made some of these points better in the tags of that one post I have about the cake#but clearly I'm processing something so#hopepunk#cripple punk#cripplepunk#good luck#magic#you have no idea how much I wish other types of magic existed cuz I really want to be a wizard but that doesn't mean there's no magic#i want Magic Missile but all I have is an autistic drive to see things without ambiguity. XD#too much false hope can kill a person. it's so irresponsible to spread false hope. spread real hope. tell the fucking truth.#there are things in this world worth hoping for. real things. tell someone they are worthy of good things. that's hope. that's good luck.#it's actually quite lucky to be unexpectedly told kind and true things. like finding $20. except my poor ass can actually provide it#not tagging this with astrology so people are less likely to yell at me lol#there's probably a better version of this post in which I cut a lot of the bitching at the start but hey I needed to bitch#it's my right as a hot bitch.#edit: ALSO another thing this reminds me of is how a lot of white women who practice witchcraft really want to believe that they#at some point in history were a persecuted minority. 'we are the great-great-granddaughters of the witches you didn't burn!'#like sorry no there have been no witches burned and no witches hung the horror of it all is that they were just normal women#white people are not the great great granddaughters of witches. we are the great great grandchildren of slave owners.#any narrative that leads us to forget that is extremely suspect.
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adozentothedawn · 11 months ago
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Six Sentence Someday
Tagged by @orime-stories thank you!
Despite what it looks like, I am in fact ocasionally still writing, I just tend to word vomit about my current obsession and then never finish it.^^° So yeah, my last game that I finished was Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest and it made me go insane, so have a part of my 1k monologue that I wrote for a potential time travel fix it. It is only 5 sentences because 6 would have been awkward, but if I ever get to it again you'll get a lot more.
"They ordered me to kill you but I couldn't do it. I would have ruined everything because I looked at you and remembered cherry blossoms and warm nights. I remembered off key lullabies and larger hands than mine on my back. I couldn't do it. And I think when you looked at me you knew that."
Gonna tag @adraveins and @stylishanachronism if you have anything you'd like to share.^^
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mushroom-for-art · 2 years ago
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Syn has been living in my head rent free so he gets put in situations, situations being going to a nice café apparently and chatting with another shadow mewtwo, hope this is okay @seasidemew also Pikkot and the concept of Stardust Café belongs to @spikyegg!
Business was steady within multiverse Stardust café, Pokémon filed in and out most ordering their treats to go as they continued on their journey through the possibilities while some chose to stay and take a seat, taking a moment to relax within the calm aromatic atmosphere of the shop, freshly baked treats and breads steamed creating a delicious scent with carefully crafted teas to suit. The customers chatted at their tables to those they'd never even met before from entirely different worlds all taking the time to enjoy the delicacies lovingly baked by Pikkot in the kitchen, strangers exchanged cakes and brownies to each other in warmth as for a time a great sense of community was created within the room.
Due to the boundaries of this space within and between universes synergy corrupt individuals found that they quickly mellowed out as the behaviours of seeking more power were impossible in this environment and yet being in this bubble outside of worlds kept them appeased allowing many to return to an almost rational state. Though the many customers still exercised an air of caution about the two dark hued genetic Pokémon that were chatting up a storm at one of the tables, creating a noticeable area of empty seats. The taller, lighter gray hued of the two laughed into his hand as his tail idly swayed the end glowing brightly as it brushed across the floor. The more dark blue gray hued one with bright glowing crackles of energy flashing over her skin continued moving her hands in flourish as she told her story, her tail tip flicked in engagement though rested on a stool rather than laying on the floor like her companion's due to the bright shining and incredibly sharp crystal fused into the tip of her tail.
"Of course I wasn't going to let such a cheap tactic fly, while I understand it from a battle strategy point of view my way of seeing it is, if one is going to execute some cheap trick you need to be sure you can follow through, use it to your advantage to strike an ending blow and win, otherwise you're just gonna piss me off," she laughed a bit of an empty cruel laugh her tail swaying near the base which didn't quite reach the end, "well, I say that is if the miserable little creature had any real chance of winning." Her hand moved, rolling her wrist to flourish with her hand once more, "not to brag or anything." Her tone not matching her statement.
"I will give them the fact they managed to create a mark," her finger touched over a small scar on her forearm tapping it before turning her arm in examination, "not that it's that noticeable, well not noticeable to normal people at least but noticeable to champions," her mouth turned into a grin and although she showed teeth it was playful as her tone complimented casually. Her companion smirked as he raised a brow before relaxing into a chuckle.
"Complimenting me won't make me reconsider my evaluation on how much of a threat you might be," though they watched each other with equal caution there was a level of ease and playfulness to his tone, "but it does boost my ego." She tutted.
"Arceus in heaven above we can't be having that," she remarked playfully. She leant back casually in her chair in a half stretch as he turned from the waist to look around the café casually at hearing the bell on the door chime, he regarded the Bisharp with little interest turning back to sitting forward. There was a softer chime from the order up bell as a short, glasses wearing orange tailed mewtwo collected the plates of cakes and other confectioneries along with the two teacups and a specially chosen tea brewed in a teapot to compliment the taste buds. As they walked around the front desk carefully holding the tray in their hands the Bisharp moved backwards in a deliberate fast beat that saw their foot standing directly on one of the mewtwos toes and their bladed body roughly knocking into them also as the mewtwo staggered from surprise and no doubt pain. Their momentum saw them side stepping before they steadied and slowed the tray still balanced and no treats lost or tea spilt as they sighed in relief.
The Bisharp barked some remark about watching where you're going to the Mewtwo as they continued forward, keeping their head down before arriving at the table of the shadow Pokémon without further incident. Carefully they took the plates from the tray placing them on the table along with the teacups and pot, the lighter one, Syn glanced over the food that had been delivered and brought his eyes over to glance at the other mewtwo, short for mewtwo standards for sure with a short tail to boot, a bump in the chest piece that would indicate a mega stone along with some noticeable scarring around the region. His eyes glanced at the cuts made in their side that were starting to slowly bleed.
"That looked like it hurt," he commented casually as they put down the last of the tables order, he watched them move their shoulder and arm to look at the cuts and frown to themselves.
"aah drat…I guess it did," the mewtwo who he realized was a female spoke from their mouth, "could've been worse though, so glad it wasn't." Her tone was infectiously positive and a bit on the loud side."Pikkots gonna end up making a first aid wall of shame for me though at this rate," she laughs in an easy manner, "well I hope you both enjoy, and Darkness don't cause any trouble."
The darker mewtwo made something of a bleh sound in response as the orange two walked back to the kitchen to go receive first aid for their cuts, giving the bisharp an incredibly wide berth.
Syn made a soft laugh, "I still can't believe you settled on Darkness as your name."
"Oh yea sure Mr Syn-ergy crystal, I was young I'd only had this body what 3 minutes when I made that choice, I'm looking into experimenting with a new name ya jerk." Her tone was easy though as he chuckled picking out a treat to try from the selection, dramatically hovering his hand above the plates twirling his finger.
"So, how do you know that other mewtwo? Didn't strike me as the type of person you'd hang out with."
Darkness took a macaron and popped it in her mouth happily enjoying the texture and flavor on her tongue with a satisfied hum before speaking with projected telepathy, "she's not, that was May she's," she paused struggling for words rolling her wrist in a few circles before uncertainly settling on, "she was my first suitable host that survived having me implanted into them, and she's the horrid creature that mutually corrupted me as I corrupted her." She made a noise, "and I suppose now in this body I'm technically her clone sibling as I had to use her genetic sequencing to create this absolute form of perfection." She gestures to herself proudly in emphasis, "I blame the unique situation of our corruption for my, difficulties now with taking over another host. Luckily this body suits me quite nicely." She shrugged casually lifting the teapot carefully with psychic energy and pouring the tea into one of the available cups, she glanced with her eyes and motioned with her head and Syn moved his cup to motion that yes he would like a cup too.
"You must be fibbing," he brought the cup to his lips to take a drink before biting into a cupcake, he continued telepathically, "she's hardly a viable host? I haven't seen her use any Psychic powers, she walks around mouth talks and carries things in her hands plus she let that Bisharp get away with bullying her, she seems too soft to survive a corruption event. And there's no way you're cloned from her, she's all small and cute looking and you're well," he gestures vaguely, "you're designer."
"Good save with that one," She chuckled "and you're telling me, I am well aware of the state of her," Darkness sighed a bit turning a cupcake between her fingers, "she's, something, she's annoying weak and placid but it took me years to wear her down enough to take over, I was implanted before she was even technically full grown or officially born. It's embarrassing to think how long she prevented me for, but I suppose admirable in a weird way. I have a bit more of an appreciation for her now that I'm, more organic, urg semantics." She bit into the cupcake aggressively with a frustrated huff at her display of emotions.
He raised a brow at her, "it took years to possess her? And what happened when you finally succeeded?" he leant his elbow on the table leaning in a bit to hear more, he was a bit surprised in all honesty wondering what that meant for the power this May had to remain herself for so long.
"When I finally was able to take control I found a strange amount of potential within her, I found when used by the right person, myself of course, she could be incredibly powerful and dangerous. She was strong and I'll admit I was shocked at how well she took hits. Though I decided partly from vainness and partly from the fact I resented her at the time that she was inadequate even with her potential and decided to find the perfect vessel which led to having to clone and make the perfect body myself. I have to do all the hard work around here." She chuckled to herself.
"I'll admit though, I do worry about what she'd be like under the effects of an unaltered synergy crystal, no ideas mister," She lazily pointed a finger at him in accusation as he put his hands up in mock surrender pondering what would happen if he extended his corruption to her.
"I can see your face thinking, it could be your funeral." Darkness shrugged idly before smiling a bit as she chuckled to herself pointing with her thumb at a different mewtwo of a red pink hue and many discoloration patterns wearing a prosthetic on one arm and using psychic energy to recreate the other to make up for not having actual arms below the elbow and higher on one arm and a more pointed tail, "it also means I'm related to that fool over there another clone not made by me, if I have to put up with them at least I get free entertainment." She laughed a bit but Syn could see a bit of softness to her as she watched the other mewtwo flirting away to some male customers.
The orange mewtwo May returned from wherever she'd gone sporting some plasters and bandages carrying trays and deliveries out to people once again. "So, that scar on her chest was-?"
"That's from me yes," Darkness casually answered before he could finish as she touched the jagged crystal growing out of her chest, "burst out of her when I finally took over, was incredibly painstaking making sure I got every piece out of her when I transfered into this form, I'm amazed I can still mega evolve with the mewtonite in such a state." She moved her tail, lifting it to show off the sharp crystal on the end like a blade, "this was all home grown however, carefully shaped and added."
"You grew synergy crystal?" Syn asked intrigued as she started to tell him about the process of successfully managing to grow and farm synergy crystal and how to encourage the crystals to grow a certain way.
Syn continued to glance over at the other customers as they discussed in lengths the process of crystal growing. He would watch the other mewtwos as well, some from many other universes arrived and he observed and mentally categorized them. Most of them looked like easy pickings, others looked like very filling meals. At some point Darkness as sneakily as possible opened a jar of gherkins, he accepted one to try in confusion to why she brought them to a sweetie café watching her bite into a cupcake and then a gherkin. He could faintly hear Pikkot in the kitchen gasp in absolute horror as though sensing someone was committing crimes against his baking as Syn could only stare in bafflement.
"Not pregnant are you, dear Darkness?" He smirked playfully in mock as he looked at her and she looked back at him, with the silence becoming just a touch deafening.
"Look-" She began before there was an incredibly loud clattering of metal trays and the scraping of a chair rapidly sliding across the floor before clattering over loudly. It distracted both the shadow Pokémon enough to look over at the drama.
The bisharp from before was stood with their table and chair thrown about and trays scattered across the floor. The red pink hued mewtwo apparently called Matt had his arms to his chest in startled protective reflex as he stood near the trouble making Pokémon.
"Look I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, that is completely unacceptable! Like look at this mess man, I'm gonna have to pick this all up!" Matt threw up his arms in an exaggerated fashion at his frustration at the mess. The Bisharp eyed Matt up as it moved slowly stalking to the side like some predator eyeing up its prey. The other customers quickly moved to be as far away as they could to be out of the danger zone.
"Woah.. Woah hey now..dont like how you're looking at me..you wouldn't attack a guy with no arms would ya?" Matt turned on his feet following the prowling Bisharp not letting it get behind him and quickly yelping as it decided to lunge with Matt promptly half throwing himself to the side out the way yelling, "NEVER MIND I GUESS YOU WOULD."
He slipped on some smooshed cake as he attempted to scramble away from the danger, Syn almost wondered if he should step in if only for the thrill of a fight. He moved to stand and felt Darkness grab his forearm with a quiet, "hold on I wanna see what happens," as he gave her a confused look wondering why she was preventing probably the only competent person from stepping in to help her supposed brother.
The Bisharp swung their arm to slash with intent to cause serious injury before it's body froze in place, a thin shimmering white outline could be seen around their body as May stepped out from the kitchen with a cold expression, her eyes completely white. Despite the psychic energy rolling off of her in waves picking up the scattered chairs and tables scooping up squished cake and generally tidying up she didn't float, her arms carefully wrapped under Matts to pull him up as he moved to very quickly duck behind his furious sister.
She looked around the restaurant scanning over to make sure that no one else was hurt and nothing else needed fixing as the Bisharp made a grunt of effort as they attempted to break free of the psychic restraint, her head snapping to look at them at the sound.
She stared at them, tail swishing up and down as the metal blade on their arm began to quietly rattle and with a crack the metal shattered and they dropped to the floor at the sudden release.
The bisharp wailed at the destruction of their blade and there was no sympathy on her face as they stumbled holding their injured arm that hung limp with the pain having more than just a damaged pride as they fled out the door. Her eyes remained aglow watching after them, undoubtedly aware that with a damaged blade the social position of that bisharp was now ruined, that they would likely lose their pack and struggle to hunt, and there was still no sympathy on her face as she blinked and her eyes returned to normal.
"Boooo you should've killed him," Darkness hollered as other customers looked at her in horror at her suggestion as she simply smirked and shrugged. May shook her head checking over her brother asking if he was hurt before sweeping up the scattered metal shards off the floor and moving to apologize to the nearby customers for the actions she just took.
"What just happened.." Syn glanced at Darkness in bewilderment but also in slight awe at the casual brutality he just witnessed.
"I told you, Mays got potential but for some reason she can use her powers to protect other people and not herself and when she does use her powers? Well you saw what happened. Again, no ideas mister I don't wanna see her as a shadow version of her."
"Of course," he spoke glancing over as May went back to work, "I wouldn't dream of it." He lied casually.
#My writing#My ocs#@Seasidemews Syn#(hope u don't mind me tagging this one didn't wanna bother ur main)#@spikyegg Pikkot#I'd like to formally apologise for Darkness committing crimes against Pikkots baking and for the fallen cakes#But the idea of Pikkot just sensing someone doing something off with his food and gasping in horror and disgust amuses me so#Me @ Syn: so you got a bad bitch already synergy corrupted but like a side flavor of synergy that probably can't sync with urs-#And she's toll (6'9) and incredibly powerful while also having higher conscious and awareness so shes got complexity#Or you've got May who's just kinda short but she could and would kill someone without hesitation if they threatened her fam#And Syn goes hmmm I want the smol one XD I can see him preferring someone he can corrupt and corrupt with his synergy#Since him and Darkness unfortunately probably can't vibe but at least she's not rival but they can banter#Mushroom really said due to reasons shadow Pokémon get to be more chill here but pokemon that are assholes are still assholes#I needed drama okay XD#So Syns a lot more chill since he's not starving for energy and Darkness is less edgy too they're just vibing ur honor#Also darkness preggo moment maybe she usually ends up with a karma kid for her crimes so she suffers with anxiety from higher consciousness#Me @ darkness bing bong get frontal lobed binch#Also Matts here for comic relief but trust me he probably tries to shoot his shot with Syn only for the rejection sorry Matt#Matt is not immune to pretty men even if evil#Syn really just shows up in my brain and I go of course sir here take a seat and eat nice food /I/ am not immune to shadow mewtwo#(also I am assume Syns more that 6'9 otherwise oops Darkness would be Toller than him but like he probably has height over her)#(and may is 5'4 so shes SMOL ur honor but absolutely would attempt to fight Syn if he was actually in their universe being a threat)#(she can and WILL bite lmao)
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thatkoiboi · 1 year ago
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I ran out of tags I should have just written my opinions here so I feel bad I can't tag the show cause I don't want to get rid of my notes but LOOK!!!!!!
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I had an idea for a one-off Rise episode plot and just wanted to quickly sketch up some visuals for it.
The plot goes as follows: Donnie attempts to invent a cloning machine and, due to some kind of science-y mishap, ends up cloning himself...a lot. But there's a catch to this - the clones aren't exact copies of Donnie, they each possess just ONE of the various facets of his personality (i.e. brainy, broody, sarcastic, passionate, dramatic, mischievous, etc.) and a small portion of his mystic powers. Don tries his darnedest to keep the whole situation under wraps while he searches for a way to fix it, but some of the more rambunctious Donnies quickly escape and begin stirring up trouble in the Lair, so it doesn't stay a secret for very long. To make matters worse - the real Donnie starts to slowly disappear (something having to do with his existence being divided among the Donnies or blahblahblah fake science explanation). So, while he and the scientist Donnies continue to look for a way to reverse the cloning effect, his brothers and Co. set to work gathering up all the other Donnies so they can put them back where they belong and keep Donnie Prime™ from vanishing.
Hilarity, wholesomeness (and some mild angst) ensues.
(Note: I meant to include April in that second-to-last image, but ran out of room. Just know that she, Splinter, and probably Casey Jr. are all there, as well.)
#I LOVE THIS CONCEPT SO MUCH#i want to see more!#the last panel with leo wahhh#i was thinking Donnie Prime™ was going to be the one to talk to#“unproductive” donnie i guess :(((#but then seeing leo there that moment must be so warm and special#cause i was thinking it was going to be like a f!leo and p!leo wholesome moment about mattering#but then i saw leo there and idk i know he is in good hands#i love the sillies with a mix of angst#like i actually really love this idea a lot O_o#and then the suspence of donnie disappearing and all the characters being there it will be so chaotic XD#in the best way possible i am here for the chaos#also mikey is so cruel chasing donnie with a beach ball lol#that is how they round up all of the donnies#they herd them all with beach balls haha#im sorry back to the comforting leo panel it just caught me off guard i cant stop thinking about it-#like leo didnt have to do that because obviously the solution will be fixed and the clones will be gone soon (if it goes well lol)#and in the rush it would probably be so easy to move vulnerable donnie like how raph is moving some of them#cause i doubt there would be any fighting back#but leo is there#of course he is there#that is just pure vulnerability manifested into an emotionally fragile clone#and on top of it that is donnie#the one who deems that one “unproductive” because emotions are hard and i get it#but what i love is that despite donnie rejecting that part of himself#donnie must see how much his brothers love him despite his “flaws”#because leo is there#and his bros will always be there no matter what mood he is in#my heart TwT#i am so sorry for spam i ran out of tags i see but title hmm maybe “Shades of Purple” lol
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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 10 months ago
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*sighh* everybody welcome the new blorbos
gay people, divorced people, crime people, and catholic people
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sakurarisen · 2 years ago
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♫☃♏
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Headcanon Time!
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♫:  three of my muse’s favorite songs
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Given Sera would honestly say anything traditional, soft, lyrical - Essentially she'd sit and listen to soft rock or local music, really, along with, ironically, the Stamp song from Remake, she'll never explain why - I'm gonna cheat and pick off my playlist for her. XD The top three would be Speechless - Naomi Scott, This Is Me - Kesha (which admittedly in more modern verses does make her cry when she's able to listen to it and is one of her primary theme songs), and Return of the Snow Queen - Phrynna <3 Though honestly anything Lindsey Stirling releases is also way there, both on her playlist (Foreverglow especially!) and as something Sera herself would listen to!
☃:  does my muse like the holidays?
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Sera loves them, especially christmas! There's something comforting about them, especially now that she's older, and she loves christmas especially for being a season where people are generous. For a few weeks out of the year, people reach deep into their heart and become kinder, gentler, more open - Things she wants to see all year round, and she hopes to eventually see the magic of christmas eventually stretch out past those few weeks.
She's also especially fond of holiday decorations - she never really got to see those as a child, and now that she has her own home and family, she's prone to going all out and decorating everything she can, especially if it's sparkly and shiny! <3 Sparkly easter eggs, glitter and fake snow, lights and sparkles... She loves all of it, and never fails to get lost in the magic of the holidays! <3
♏:  something my muse obsesses over
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TW: Abuse mentions ahead.
Tending to Zack's sword and doing chores. Although it's way too big and heavy for her, very nearly matching her height, Sera will stay up all night to clean it and make sure it's ready for use the following day, even if it doesn't appear to need tending to. Likewise, she's forgo sleep to get her household tasks done, or to run errands and take care of deliveries - If she has anything left to do at the end of the day, she simply can't sleep. It weighs on her and leaves her restless, and more than once Zack's woken in the middle of the night to her in the kitchen washing dishes rather than actually sleeping beside him.
In truth, it's not so much of an obsession, though it certainly presents itself as one, and is more in line with her traumas; Sera will call it a need to be a 'good kitty' to those close enough to her she feels safe being completely honest with, and it ties in both with her nickname of 'Kitten' from Zack and her past abuse. Being 'kitten' is something of a personal shield for her (for reasons I won't get into here because that's a meta/HC in and of itself) and serves as her last line of defense, and she desperately wants to be 'good' - She wants to be dependable. She wants to be reliable. Upbeat. Not a bother. Helpful. Someone people look at and smile, not roll their eyes and get tired of whenever she's in the same room as them.
If she gets everything done she needs to, nobody has a reason to complain about it. If his sword is clean and tended to, it's one less weight on his shoulders, and one less task he has to worry about. If she can keep the kitchen clean then nobody can worry about it, or call her out on it not being sparkling. Work done on time, or even better early, means nobody else is put out because of her. She's not a disappointment, and nobody will be angry or upset or disappointed in her. She's kitten, and she's been good and helpful!
....Right?
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teecupangel · 2 years ago
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I just had this hilarious thought
What if Desmond turned into a rat after touching the eye
He could still be in the modern era or he could be sent back in time (could be AltDes-) and he just tries to help anyway he can be it retrieving documents or things or distracting guards because his body is too small for anything else
It might be because I just watched a youtube video talking about favorite Pixar movies but I just imagine Desmond Ratatouille-ing some poor Assassin so he can do more than just retrieve items or be a distraction.
Like, just imagine him Ratatouille-ing Kadar and both Malik and Altaïr knew something is wrong because Kadar is moving a bit weird BUT he is also moving better than he ever did.
It didn’t take long before they learned about the rat that can control Kadar by just grabbing his hair.
And Desmond was just going “fuck it!” when he started piloting Kadar, wondering if he could do something as weird as that one animated movie he watched in a bootleg DVD he bought from the shady dude behind the 7-Eleven near his apartment.
Altaïr gets the idea of experimenting if Desmond could ‘pilot’ anyone while Malik thinks they should bring the rat to Al Mualim. Desmond uses Kadar to tell Malik that:
He’s gonna scutter away and they’d never see him again if they try to bring him to Al Mualim
Oh, and Al Mualim is a Templar.
Anyway, the trio decides to try and find evidence of Al Mualim’s treachery while keeping this supposed Apple (Desmond’s words… using Kadar’s mouth) safe and away from Al Mualim.
So now, we have three rogue Assassins that may or may not ask help from Alamut? Malik stresses they need to find proof first before they request help from Alamut. Desmond didn’t even know Alamut could help in this situation. Altaïr didn’t know that as well and Desmond was just like “aaahh, so that’s why I don’t know.”
But, but, but…
More importantly!
We now have the best setup for Altaïr and Desmond flirting…
Using Kadar as a messenger!
Like, just imagine Malik staring in horror as his little brother and the most annoying man he ever knows flirt and then Kadar would be looking at Malik as if to say “IT’S NOT ME! IT’S THE RAT!” with his expression which gets overridden by Desmon piloting him to flirt back to Altaïr again.
Then Altaïr starts courting Desmond by giving gifts… to Kadar… and Kadar is just like “Oh, Altaïr, I do not see- Oh. These are small… food… Oh! This is for Desmond. Yes. Of course. (sssiigghhh)”
And Altaïr starts using the Apple to figure out how to change Desmond back to being human with Desmond helping then Kadar has to listen to Altaïr say something like “Even if we cannot find a way to return you to your human form… my feelings for you would not change.”
And Kadar is torn between becoming goo from all the fluff and thinking “help, someone please help, just, just tap out, tap out, change player, someone please be Desmond’s new mech!”
Oh, and I guess Abbas can get his ass kicked because he’s been tasked to hunt down the trio with some of Masyaf’s best.
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yuriyuruandyuraart · 1 year ago
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that's it i'm officially DEAD and in tears omg zu.. oh my GOD zu omg i'm i can't even TYPE i'm shaking so hard it's so!!!! i'm so!!! ahjgzdyhagahgfd ZUUUUUU<33333
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Happy birthday @yuriyuruandyuraart! ◟(๑•͈ᴗ•͈)◞
Ribbon (pink!Cross) & Buns (pink!Killer) by yuriyuruandyuraart respectively ;3
Cross from xtaleunderverse by jakei95
Killer by rahafwabas / rahaf-wabas / rahofy-sketch
+ the transparent one ehehe <3
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#reblog#other's art#buns#ribbons#fanart#and oh my god you drew me fanart oh my god oh m#i JUMPED when i saw this like LITERALLY almost fell out of seat good GOSH#i had to shake myself cause i couldn't even see the piece clearly without tears blurring my vision aughghg ZUUU#i'm i can't stop CRYING your words mean SO!!!! MUCH!!!!!#how can you even say these things when i've known you were literally the dictionary definition of a kindhearted bean#literally before my blog was even MADE like come ON zu#and hearing you say you planned to draw my babies?? for years??? a knife in the chest wouldn't make me cry as hard as that#this day was already getting better and better but now it's just beyond perfect hhgjgf ZU zu zu hear me out#the tags under your art aren't for funsies they're a NECESSITY#if i have to go insane over those intricate tiny details then so do YOU!!! and you WILL hear me sobbing about it or i will perish#i can't believe how many people think i'm energetic hhh i'm literally so tired all the time xD#i am enthusiastic when it comes to art and characters tho!! like i'm unhinged about YOUR art you sweet sweet little goose<333#it almost looks as if buns is escaping from his panel into the dashboard and AGYGGYGU i CAN'T zu i can't i can't#CRYIINNG over your pose waaa it looks so ALIVE and interesting and and and!!!!!!!!#SO pleasing to look at :'((( don't get me STAAARTED on your anatomy i don't wanna type up an essay#but also who am i kidding LOOOK AT THE BOOTS!!!! THE LEGS!!!!! THE LITTLE PERFECT HANDSSS AND THE BAND-AIDS#and the expressionss your beautiful stunning expressions...lemme steal your lineart please please please???#this is so good i genuinely feel my lungs constricting trying not to sob my eyes out goooosh zu- you have no idea how cool you are huh#what else can i SAY when i can barely see the screen i'm just. SO happy :')c#seeing my designs in your style is such a pleasure i literally couldn't ask for anything better for my birthday<3333#i love this i love you and you art sm muah muah thank you thank you THANK YOU#amazing art<3333
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silversurfersx · 2 months ago
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skater girl | max verstappen
max verstappen × driver!reader [smau]
summary: some drivers take scooters around the paddock, some walk and some just ride a skateboard, steal dogs and just won't take max verstappen skating
faceclaim: just some girls I found on pinterest :))
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liked by lewishamilton, roscoelovescoco, maxverstappen1 and others
yourusername: found a dog, took him home and showed him how to skate (his dad wanted to supervise 🥴) ☺️🥰🐶
tagged: roscoelovescoco, lewishamilton
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roscoelovescoco: I had's a lots of fun's! 😍
yourusername: I did too, maybe next time we could have a playdate without ur dad 🤔 roscoelovescoco: dad says no 😥
maxverstappen1: why do you take him skating but you always tell me no 😓
yourusername: cause if you fall off, redbull will have my head😅 maxverstappen1: who says I'll fall off? yourusername: me maxverstappen1: that's mean 😥 yourusername: it's true tho 🥺
user1: that is the cutest 😍
user2: I wanna go on their skate date too :((
lewishamilton: 🐶🛹 {like by yourusername}
user3: cuties ❤
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liked by carlossainz55, mickschumacher and others
yourusername: did some good racing, got some good points and found some cuties on magazines at the shop 🥰
(also I think mick is trying to murder me, pls send help 😦😕)
tagged: mickschumacher, carlossainz55, maxverstappen
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mickschumacher: I am, you stole my lunch 🔪
yourusername: I didn't see your name on it 🤷‍♀️ mickschumacher: it was right in the lid, in CAPITAL letters 🤨 yourusername: 😮💀
carlossainz55: ay cariño 😍 {like by yourusername}
yourusername: ay chili 🥰 {liked by carlossainz55}
user4: awesome drive, girl 🔥🔥
user5: p4, LET'S GOOOO!!!!!
maxverstappen1: so you bought a magazine just because of me? 🤔
yourusername: no, it had a skateboard on the front 😚 maxverstappen1: sure, sure yourusername: 💀 maxverstappen1: btw, did I see you let mick ride your skateboard earlier today 🧐 yourusername: yes maxverstappen1: so he wants to kill you and can still ride it, but I don't 🤨 yourusername: well, I know he's harmless, but the energy drink company u drive for has proper means to 💀 me user6: damn, just let the poor guy ride for a bit {liked by maxverstappen1} yourusername: no
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yourusername posted a story
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If you saw me fall, no you didn't, thanks kym for not posting that little mishap xD
maxverstappen1: can I ride now?
yourusername: no maxverstappen1: 🥺😥 maxverstappen1: then I'm not gonna let you visit sassy and jimmy 🙍‍♂️ yourusername: don't put the babies in the middle of this, max! 😡 maxverstappen1: your decision 😏🤷‍♂️
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liked by landonorris, fernandoalo_oficial, charles_leclerc and others
maxverstappen1: good times 🏊‍♂️🐱
tagged: yourusername, fernandoalo_oficial
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yourusername: you know what your doing...😐
maxverstappen1: you know my conditions, meanwhile I've found a substitute mom yourusername: I will not forget this...
fernandoalo_oficial: it was so nice to meet the two🥰
yourusername: you have no idea what you just started, nando fernandoalo_oficial: what?
user7: what is going on here? 👀
user8: I think max is threatening y/n user7: with his cats? 🧐 user8: ...apperantly
landonorris: why did you take fernando to see them but not me 😦
yourusername: would u say you've been betrayed? landonorris: maybe... 🥺 yourusername: would a little ride on my skateboard make you feel better? landonorris: maybe 😲 maxverstappen1: oh, come on!! user9: oh this is evil, I love it 😂 {liked by yourusername}
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yourusername posted a story
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Little skating lesson w @ landonorris, it was a complete fail :/
maxverstappen1: if I reinstate you visiting schedule for jimmy and sassy, could I have a go 🥰 please 🥺 yourusername: I might consider it 🤔 if you promise to keep me save from redbull if something should happen maxverstappen1: I swear on all the cats in the world 🤞 yourusername: oh wow, that is a big promise 😯🤨 maxverstappen1: it's a big deal 😊
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, charles_leclerc and more
yourusername: I finally gave in just for him to decide it wasn't for him and order sushi instead to the skate park 😐
tagged: maxverstappen1
_
charles_leclerc: does that mean I can ride your skateboard now too?
yourusername: oh for gods sake 💀
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leodette · 15 days ago
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"In Sickness And In Health..." | LN4
(part of "In Sickness And In Health" series)
fandom: Formula 1
pairing: Lando Norris x OC
names/faceclaims: -
type: Instagram SMAU
summary: The Papaya Prince surprises the world with his marital status...
warning: timing doesn't make sense, please ignore that fact xD
**********
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liked by thebride, mclaren, oscarpiastri and 3,001,457 others landonorris did a little thing 💍 (tagged thebride)
↪︎ user u kiddin right? i mean, april fools day was in, well, april
↪︎ user what is this?
↪︎ thebride love you Mr Norris ❤️🧡 liked by the author ↪︎ landonorris ❤️ U ➡️ 🌝 & 🔙 ↪︎ user okay this is super cute
↪︎ mclaren congratulations to the happy couple! (pr management asks for a little heads up next time) liked by the author ↪︎ thebride no need, there'll be no next time ↪︎ landonorris there better not be
↪︎ user Lando Norris, THE Lando Norris, is married? ↪︎ user they were even engaged?! ↪︎ landonorris yes, we got hitched, and no, we weren't engaged ↪︎ user u wanna tell us this was a split-of-a-second decision?! ↪︎ thebride more like split of an afternoon. needed my girls to get ready after all ❤️
↪︎ maxverstappen1 one would say simply lovely liked by the author ↪︎ landonorris we had g&t as well, i mean... ↪︎ maxverstappen1 and fight daniel over marriage certificate? no thank you ↪︎ danielricciardo HEY! ↪︎ maxverstappen1 but anyway, congratulations you two, get ready for the ride ↪︎ thebride thank you, Mr 4WC 💙 ↪︎ landonorris that heart is supposed to be papaya, my love ↪︎ thebride but he deserves it! he won! 🥺 ↪︎ maxverstappen1 that's okay, but thank you
↪︎ angryginge13 crazy little thing called love huh ❤️ liked by the author ↪︎ landonorris u have no idea mate
↪︎ danielricciardo still can't believe i had to do rock paper scissors with Piastri and Fewtrell about who's going to sign the marriage licence as your witness liked by the author ↪︎ oscarpiastri kinda want to say u cheated ↪︎ danielricciardo me? cheated? never! ↪︎ maxfewtrell agree with oscar here, it was supposed to go on shoot not on three ↪︎ landonorris does it matter? it is signed! ↪︎ thebride also, it was kinda amusing for the bride ↪︎ oscarpiastri if it amused the bride, than it was the job well done
↪︎ georgerussell63 U DID WHAT?! WHY WAS I NOT THERE?! liked by the author ↪︎ landonorris u were too busy getting drunk after p1. congrats btw! ↪︎ georgerussell63 man what do you mean that i got drunk while you got married?! ↪︎ landonorris that i got married while you got drunk? ↪︎ thebride that makes me wonder... carmenmmundt? ↪︎ carmenmmundt georgerussell63 👀 ↪︎ georgerussell63 George Russell left the chat
↪︎ adam-norris_pure_electric ❤️❤️❤️ liked by the author ↪︎ user dad approves! ↪︎ user of course he does, he and thebride are a staple duo of the mclaren garage!
↪︎ flonorris1 my sis-in-law is prettier than yours! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride hah, MY sister-in-law is prettier than yours! ↪︎ flonorris1 😘 ↪︎ thebride 🥰 ↪︎ landonorris is this how it feels to have your new wife stolen from u by ur own flesh and blood? ↪︎ ciscanorris1 took u long enough
↪︎ user just out of interest, how drunk were u? ↪︎ maxfewtrell he wasn't. crazy, right? ↪︎ landonorris wanted to remember every single second okay?
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liked by landonorris, pietra.pilao, keeganpalmer and 846,268 others thebride we do. we did. we eloped. (tagged landonorris)
↪︎ landonorris love u mrs norris ❤️‍🔥 liked by the author ↪︎ thebride 🤭
↪︎ user didn't have that on my bingo card
↪︎ bridessister U REALLY DID IT! mom will kill you! ↪︎ thebride no she'll not cause she already knew! �� ↪︎ bridessister 🤯😠🤬
↪︎ maxfewtrell good luck girl, he's your responsibility now liked by the author
↪︎ lilyzneimer 🥰💐 liked by the author ↪︎ thebride my sweet girl 💖
↪︎ bridesbff when u said to me that u r going to marry this guy, i didn't expect u to do it literally a week later! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride oopsie daisy, guilty as charged ↪︎ thebride although not sorry at all
↪︎ f12wags mkay but everything aside, u both look gorg!
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liked by heidiberger_, pierregasly, thebride and 1.267.534 others danielricciardo someone please bleach my eyes. jokes aside, it was a great honor to be one of the chosen few to watch this wedding happen. proud of you landonorris for growing up from that little kiddo to the man you are now. and thebride good luck with him, don't forget that people who love you both are just a phonecall away if you need help. congratulations! (tagged landonorris, thebride)
↪︎ thebride thank you for all this Danny, we love you and are very happy for you to be there with us ❤️ liked by the author ↪︎ danielricciardo it was my pleasure! ↪︎ thebride btw you just made lando cried, that's why he's not answering the phone ↪︎ danielricciardo SIMP he is!
↪︎ heidiberger_ the best evening! ↪︎ thebride it was! can't wait for yours! ↪︎ danielricciardo ehmmm hello? ↪︎ heidiberger_ 😇
↪︎ user okay but the cake?!
↪︎ user pizza in bed. if there was an epitome of LN wedding it would be this
↪︎ maxfewtrell and i still think u cheated with that rock paper scissors
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liked by landonorris, pietra.pilao, thebride and 193.258 others maxfewtrell when Bob got hitched at Vegas (tagged thebride, landonorris)
↪︎ landonorris u make it shound like a title of some bad romance novel u muppet ↪︎ maxfewtrell oh I WISH it was that ↪︎ landonorris 🖕
↪︎ thebride what a lovely photo Max, thank you! liked by the author ↪︎ maxfewtrell my pleasure ma'am ↪︎ landonorris stop flirtin w/ my wife ↪︎ maxfewtrell then get out of my comments
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liked by mclaren, logansargeant, landonorris and 1.298.953 others oscarpiastri that paper is a) Lando's contract extension or b) a menu he stole from a restaurant that didn't have any fish on it or c) a marriage licence (tagged landonorris, thebride)
↪︎ landonorris there was no need to call me out like that mate ↪︎ oscarpiastri says who? ↪︎ landonorris ...me? ↪︎ oscarpiastri wrong answer, please try again ↪︎ user i love how unserious they're
↪︎ user the fact that there wasn't carlos or max v but oscar and daniel speaks of itself ↪︎ oscarpiastri i just tagged with lily tbh she was the one invited
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liked by maxfewtrell, heidiberger_, thebride and 35.311 others pietra.pilao the girl of the hour and her gang 🔥👰‍♀️ (tagged thebride, lilyzneimer, heidiberger_, bridessister)
↪︎ thebride couldn't wish for a better bridal party! love you my maid of honor!
↪︎ lilyzneimer 🥰👰‍♀️
↪︎ heidiberger_ that was fun! who's next?
↪︎ bridessister and here i thought that skipping vegas race wouldn't do much harm
↪︎ maxfewtrell now i get why that room was off limits... too much female energy!
*
time jump
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liked by thebride, ciscanorris1, hellomag and 24.846 others wedding-planner Today landonorris and thebride celebrated their Las Vegas elopement with their families and friends in a laid-back garden party at Somerset. The buffet included multiple summer barbeque party staples like marinated ribs, steaks and burgers, together with an assortment of sweets and refreshments. Evening arrived with a self-served pizza and ramen noodle bar. Guests were entertained by live dj as well as pre-prepared playlists, and could enjoy many classic party games, including bouncing castle.
(comments have been limited)
↪︎ thebride the best wedding party we could ask for! thank you so much! liked by the author
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liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, f1 and 756.498 others mclaren Celebratory champagne pop, officially not only for the podiums. Congratulations to Mr & Mrs Norris! (tagged landonorris, thebride)
↪︎ redbullracing sending congratulations to the happy couple! waiting to see more of you in the paddock soon!
↪︎ scuderiaferrari Congratulazioni!
↪︎ mercedesamgf1 the biggest congratulations to our fellow driver and his new wife! We wish you many happy moments together!
↪︎ haasf1team Congratulations to the newlyweds!
↪︎ williamsracing heard that papaya fits quite nicely with Williams blue... anyway, the best wishes to both landonorris and thebride!
↪︎ astonmartinf1 Nothing brings the grid together like babies and weddings! Congrats to the bride and groom on their earlier nuptials as well as the after-wedding celebration!
↪︎ stakef1team Admin is trying very hard not to get emotional, so let's just say: We as a team wish the newlyweds the best! See you soon!
↪︎ alpinef1team 🩷🧡
↪︎ visacashapprb Congratulations!
↪︎ landonorris thank you papaya team 🧡
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liked by thebride, ruthbuscombe, danielricciardo and 2.125.872 others landonorris hello mrs norris ❤️ (tagged thebride)
↪︎ thebride hello mr norris 🧡 liked by the author
↪︎ riabish this is the sweetest thing we'll see this week ↪︎ landonorris not used to see the sweet side of me or what? ↪︎ riabish oh you're plenty of sweet, but your WIFE makes it even sweeter! ↪︎ thebride that's my girl! love you babe! ↪︎ landonorris oh thatnk you darling! ↪︎ thebride I meant Ria ↪︎ riabish HA! ↪︎ landonorris attacked in my own comments. when does it end?
↪︎ user who would've thought that Lando had it in him
↪︎ bridesbff she's a catch ↪︎ landonorris that she is!
↪︎ user when little Landor Norris bagged the best woman in a very wide radius
↪︎ fifakill_ Lando Norris, husband. that sounds weird ↪︎ landonorris i'll give you weird! ↪︎ fifakill_ for now! i meant for now it sounds weird! i'm sure soon it'll be absolutely normal thing!
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liked by revolve, landonorris, lilyzneimer and 35.068 others thebride the dream come true to celebrate a change of a surname with the full family-friends gang. thank you revolve for the perfect dress to party in all night. off to the end of our lives and beyond, hubby landonorris ❤️
↪︎ landonorris 🤩😍🥵 liked by the author
↪︎ landonorris THAT'S MY HOT WIFEY EVERYBODY! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride oh shush you muppet, not on main! 🤭 ↪︎ landonorris yes on main! not ashamed of the fact that my woman is so hot!
↪︎ user okay but can we please talk about how perfect this dress is? not too casual so she wouldn't get lost in between her guests, still makes her stand out as the bride, but isn't too ostentations or lavish to forbid her from enjoying her own celebration! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride can confirm that this was EXACTLY the reason why I chose it! appreciate your thought about it! nothing beats practicality while still making it feel special! ↪︎ user OMG HELLO BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOKED ABSOLUTELY STUNNING! ↪︎ thebride hehe hello 🥰 and thank you!
↪︎ lilyzneimer 🥰👗💃 liked by the author ↪︎ thebride will never forget us dancing until the sunrise ❤️ ↪︎ oscarpiastri so that's where she was all night! ↪︎ thebride yes, because your woman likes to dance! ↪︎ oscarpiastri touché! ↪︎ lilyzneimer 🤭 ↪︎ thebride don't worry Lily darlin', we'll go dancing soon enough! and no oscarpiastri and landonorris you're not invited, that is a girls night! ↪︎ landonorris u had to open that big mouth of urs right? oscarpiastri ↪︎ oscarpiastri sorry? we can always play some video games while these two're getting sloshed somewhere? ↪︎ landonorris u got urself a deal
↪︎ revolve It was our pleasure to provide this beautiful dress for the beautiful bride! Congratulations from the whole Revolve team! liked by the author
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liked by landonorris, maxfewtrell, _aarava and 55.553 others keeganpalmer how to turn bunch of grown ups into children again? give them a bouncing castle! (tagged landonorris, thebride, bridessister, olivernorris1, lilymhe, lilyzneimer)
↪︎ landonorris wow what an observation!
↪︎ maxfewtrell at least you took off your shoes ↪︎ keeganpalmer had to otherwise they wouldn't let me on! ↪︎ thebride well if the bride and groom had to take their shoes off as well...? ↪︎ keeganpalmer no longer complaining! did anyone hear anything? ↪︎ maxfewtrell how did you do that? ↪︎ thebride did what? ↪︎ maxfewtrell shut keegan up! ↪︎ thebride ...
↪︎ user not Keegan tagging both Lilys' there!
↪︎ bridessister showoff ↪︎ keeganpalmer will happily accept that one! especially from you 😉 ↪︎ thebride hands off palmer! ↪︎ bridessister ignore her. you were sayin? ↪︎ thebride THE NERVE ↪︎ bridessister did you watch too much of rocketpoweredmohawk? ↪︎ thebride who? ↪︎ landonorris u don't wanna know, trust me
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liked by bridesmom, thebride, riabish and 3.912 others bridessister side by side or miles apart, sisters will always be connected by the heart. until one of them falls from a chair during her own wedding celebration. (tagged thebride)
↪︎ thebride except i didn't fall down? ↪︎ bridessister almost. it's the effort that counts! ↪︎ thebride doesn't matter. love ya sis ↪︎ bridessister love u right back ❤️
↪︎ keeganpalmer ❤️‍🔥 ↪︎ thebride no ↪︎ keeganpalmer 🥲 ↪︎ bridessister LEAVE HIM BE
↪︎ bridesmom my two girls ❤️ ↪︎ bridessister 🥰 ↪︎ thebride 🥰
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liked by georgerussell63, logansargeant, lilymhe and 549.853 others alex_albon CORNHOLE!! much love to Lando and thebride for their Vegas nuptials, and thanks for including me and Lily in your celebration! (tagged landonorris, thebride)
↪︎ landonorris thanks mate for ur presence and for the great gift ↪︎ user okay now we need to know what that gift was ↪︎ landonorris no u don't it's a secret
↪︎ georgerussell63 should I mention that I absolutely destroyed you in that round? ↪︎ alex_albon oh and should we mention that there is one person whose job is to put a bag (or a ball) into a hole? NO DOUBLE MEANING I MEAN lilymhe ↪︎ lilymhe 🤔 ↪︎ georgerussell63 oh this is great fun ↪︎ carmenmmundt popcorn? 🍿 ↪︎ georgerussell63 please! ↪︎ alex_albon THAT STILL DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT LILY DESTORYED ALL OF US?!
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liked by kellypiquet, pierregasly, landonorris and 1.219.673 others maxverstappen1 he won in Miami, he won at Zaandvort, he won in Singapore, he won in Abu Dhabi, he won in life. congrats landonorris and thebride for this huge step, and thank you for allowing me to be a part of this special celebration.
↪︎ thebride the pleasure was all ours Max! thank you for being here for both of us! liked by the author ↪︎ maxverstappen1 any time (or as long as it stays off track!) ↪︎ landonorris no promises! 😂
↪︎ kellypiquet such a lovely celebration! congratulations to landonorris and thebride and wishing you only happiness and health in the future! ↪︎ thebride thank you so much Kelly! it was extremely special to enjoy the time with you and Max and P! ↪︎ landonorris thank you Kelly!
↪︎ landonorris here, we can calm the internet speculations that we're enemies! trust me, would never invite an enemy to my wedding party! ↪︎ maxverstappen1 not sure how to feel about that one, but thank you!
↪︎ user not the whole grid throwing Lando in the air like he just won the championship ↪︎ landonorris they're practicing for the real deal 😉 ↪︎ maxverstappen1 let's calm down a bit, shall we?
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liked by landonorris, scuderiaferrari, maxverstappen1 and 1.351.185 others carlosainz55 Lando Nowins no more, Lando Norizz no more. Te amo amigo. Felicidades!
↪︎ scuderiaferrari one big F1 family, right mclaren? ↪︎ mclaren wouldn't be the proper celebration without a bit of red 😉 ↪︎ danielricciardo we talking about wine? i can offer some red! ↪︎ mclaren well played Mr Ricciardo, well played 🤠
↪︎ landonorris gracias amigo for being the best surrogate big brother i could ask for! ur turn next! ↪︎ iamrebeccad something i should know about! ↪︎ carlossainz55 you see what you caused?! iamrebeccad let's talk about it first, okay? ↪︎ iamrebeccad call. now. ↪︎ charles_leclerc someone is in trouble! ↪︎ landonorris 'm so sorry! it was just an innocent question! ↪︎ carlossainz55 there was nothing innocent about it you ass!
↪︎ maxverstappen1 who'd have thought that little Lando Norris would be the first of this generation to tie the knot ↪︎ charles_leclerc definitely not me ↪︎ pierregasly nor me ↪︎ oscarpiastri safe to say no one thought that
↪︎ user Carlando will always be real and in the front liked by the author ↪︎ carlossainz55 couldn't be more true!
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liked by thebride, savnorris, bridesmom and 5.298 others bridesbff ma b*tch got hitched! now i have to change your contact info, do u know how weird that is?! (tagged thebride, landonorris)
↪︎ thebride not weirder than changing my passport. the new signature is a weird thing to perform liked by the author ↪︎ bridesbff has a nice ring to it thought, right? ↪︎ thebride 🤭
↪︎ savnorris the best of the best! liked by the author
↪︎ bridesmom Should I find that photo of you two from your first day at nursery? ↪︎ thebride MOM ↪︎ bridesbff I'd say some things are better to stay hidden ↪︎ landonorris I WANNA SEE IT! ↪︎ bridesmom Don't worry Lando, it will be ready next time you two come for a visit! ↪︎ thebride bridesbff you need to destroy it!
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liked by thebride, landonorris, bridessister and 1.206 others bridesmom my little girl is a married woman! landonorris it's your turn to take care of her now (tagged thebride)
↪︎ thebride awww mama i'll always be your little girl! liked by the author ↪︎ bridesmom ❤️
↪︎ landonorris i promise ma'am 🫡 liked by the author
↪︎ bridessister who would've thought that the family general has a soft side! ↪︎ thebride oh c'mon sis don't be mean ↪︎ bridessister sorry mama bear, you're the best in the whole world and we love you so much ❤️
↪︎ momsfriend1 where is the little girl who was chasing animals around the fields and jumping in puddles? why do they grow up so fast? liked by the author
↪︎ momsfriend2 the prettiest girl 😍💐 liked by the author
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liked by flonorris1, savnorris, natalie_pinkham and 34.137 others adam_norris_pure_electric Congratulations landonorris and thebride
↪︎ user adam and cisca beat every single "evil in-laws" stereotype ever
↪︎ olivernorris1 I'm not cleaning that pool, just so we're clear. They jumped in it, they can clean it. ↪︎ landonorris boooo no fun with u ↪︎ olivernorris1 do you consider jumping in a pool while wearing your wedding attire a fun?! ↪︎ flonorris1 don't pretend like you didn't jump straight behind him! ↪︎ adam_norris_pure_electric you all are cleaning that pool ↪︎ thebride even me? 🥺 ↪︎ adam_norris_pure_electric not you, my dear, but if you could help cisca and sav with lunch? ↪︎ thebride absolutely! ↪︎ landonorris okay i get who's the favorite now ↪︎ olivernorris1 ^^ ↪︎ ciscanorris1 ^^ ↪︎ flonorris1 ^^
↪︎ user jumping into a pool at the end of the wedding party - nothing screams Norris more than that
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liked by riabish, thebride, mattyp1 and 74.295 others quadrant when boss gets married, it means one thing. IT'S NEW MERCH TIME! 'Happily Ever After' is set to drop this Friday at 10.00am GMT, don't forget to put your alarm clocks on! (tagged landonorris, thebride)
↪︎ user the speed i put my alarm on
↪︎ user like i'd ever miss quadrant merch
↪︎ user getting married in two months, guess what will be a late-night party attire?!
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liked by landonorris, lewishamilton, parishilton and 447.259 others thebride sorry it's not that new headset you wanted. hope this wedding gift works as well. welcome home, Fergus Bobby Norris (tagged landonorris)
↪︎ landonorris don't u dare to compare Fergie to a headset! he's the best gift i could ever receive. thank you for him, my love 🧡 liked by the author ↪︎ maxfewtrell jesus calm down man, it's a dog not a baby ↪︎ landonorris he is our baby! for now 😏 ↪︎ thebride 👀 ↪︎ maxfewtrell TMI! TMI!
↪︎ mclaren welcome to the family little guy! we'll make sure the factory is puppy-proofed before you come back from your honeymoon! liked by the author ↪︎ thebride 🧡🧡🧡
↪︎ oscarpiastri does that officially make me a dog uncle? liked by the author ↪︎ thebride of course! ↪︎ landonorris i guess so ↪︎ charles_leclerc but, but, what about leo?! ↪︎ oscarpiastri leo is my brother, not my nephew ↪︎ alex_albon this family tree's starting to be a bit complicated ↪︎ georgerussell63 no shit sherlock!
↪︎ alexandrasaintmleux playdate when? francisca.cgomes roscoelovescoco liked by the author ↪︎ thebride does AD work? ↪︎ francisca.cgomes works for me ↪︎ roscoelovescoco can't wait's for all the fun's!
↪︎ user OMG WE'LL GET A WHOLE PADDOCK DOG GANG TOGETHER! ↪︎ thebride shhh don't scream please, Fergie's sleeping 🤫 ↪︎ user ups, sorry my queen 🫡
472 notes · View notes
basketonthedoorstepofthefbi · 8 months ago
Text
Wingwoman (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader
Summary: You take your good friend/coworker, Spencer, out to the bar to find him a girl to hook up with. Things do not go as planned.
Word Count: 5107
Warnings: Romantic/sexual tension! Mentions of drinking / sex
A/N: Hi! I haven't written posted fanfic in like, 8 years, please be nice xD I would love to know your thoughts - if you have any requests or anything, I'm happy to oblige. ALSO -- I have only seen up to Season 7 of Criminal Minds because I'm a fckn loser. Anywayyyyy enjoy! Not my gif btw, all credit to the owner :)
———————————
It was kind of your fault, now that you were thinking back on it. 
Actually, it was definitely your fault, now that you were thinking back on it. 
It had been your suggestion to go out. It had been your idea to act as Spencer’s wingwoman, some last-ditch effort to try to get him out of your mind. He was your coworker, for Christ’s sake. And your best friend. And you’d thought about him desperately for eight of the nine months that you’d known him. 
Emily, Derek, and Penelope had all agreed to tag along, but as the work day went on, each of your coworkers had found some kind of excuse to opt-out. Derek’s niece wanted to Facetime. Penelope forgot Kevin’s birthday was next week and needed to go shopping for a present. Emily had a headache. 
Finding Spencer a romantic prospect on your own was certainly not the plan, but, stupidly, thoughtlessly, you’d decided to go along with it. You could do this. Just one night in a bar, chatting up women for the man you’d slowly been falling for the past eight months. As good of an idea as any, right? 
You and Spencer took an Uber to the bar the group frequented. Ski-ball and pool in one corner, a vintage jukebox and small space set aside as a makeshift dance floor in the other. But the best part - half-off drinks for federal agents. You’d never been one to abuse the badge before, but… 
Three Jack-and-Diet-Cokes later, your moral code had a bit of a crack in it. 
Spencer stood next to you - towered over you, actually, because that man was a fucking beanpole - and you felt his eyes on you as you scanned the crowd. “What about her?” you suggested, jerking your chin to the woman at a high-top table against the wall. She had her nose stuck in her phone and an untouched martini on the table in front of her. 
“She’s clearly waiting for someone,” Spencer pointed out, and you realized he was right just as the woman looked up from her phone and towards the door for the third time in the past minute. “I also don’t understand why you’re so dead set on finding someone to hog me up with.” 
You snorted into your drink. “Hog you up with?” you repeated, turning in your barstool so you faced him. Your knees brushed his thighs. 
“Yeah, is that not…” realization dawned on Spencer and he grimaced. “That’s not the phrase, is it?” 
“Hook,” you corrected, but not impatiently. You made a little hook with your index finger, like a pirate. A little giggle escaped you. “And I’m not dead set on it,” you argued. “I just didn’t want to be the only one leaving the bar with someone.” 
Your eyes flickered up to Spencer’s to gauge his reaction. He seemed surprised by this implication that you planned to leave with someone - someone who was not him. 
“Yeah? Who are you leaving with, matey?” Spencer countered, arching a brow and pointedly looking at your index finger, still in its hooked position. You dropped your hand. 
“It doesn’t matter right now,” you blushed furiously, desperately trying to drive the conversation back to his romantic conquests. Your thought process was that if you actually saw Spencer with someone else in any sort of romantic capacity - dancing, flirting, kissing - you’d finally hurt yourself enough with the sight for those stupid feelings for him to dissipate. “We’re looking for you.” 
Spencer merely hmm-ed in response, an indecisive non-answer, and you noticed he shook his head. Like he was annoyed, but trying not to show it. You swallowed the lump in your throat and polished off your drink before returning to examining the patrons in the bar. You nudged Spencer’s elbow with your own and your gaze landed on the group of three women giggling around one of the tables. “Any of them? The blonde is cute,” you pointed out. 
“Not really into blondes,” Spencer muttered, and you glanced back at him. You could have sworn his eyes were locked on your brunette hair. You opened your mouth to say something, but Spencer cut you off. “But, sure, if watching me strike out will amuse you, Y/N.” Before you could protest, Spencer set his glass down on the bar and started towards the trio of women at the table. 
You leaned down to sniff his glass, curious as to what he’d been drinking. Clear liquid. No smell. Was he… totally sober? 
You watched with narrowed, studious eyes as Spencer approached the women. You could only see the back of his head, but the three women’s faces were perfectly visible. They smiled, friendly, unassuming, and then something came out of Spencer’s mouth that changed their expressions. The blonde in the middle furrowed her brows, and the two women on either side cocked their heads slightly. Spencer’s hand tapped the table and he earned awkward smiles as a goodbye was bid, and when he turned around to head back towards the bar, he just shrugged his shoulders and shook his head, like what are you gonna do? 
“What happened?” you asked as he returned to you. 
“I blew it,” Spencer said matter-of-factly. Too accepting of his defeat. Further supporting your theory that he’d gone over there and purposefully botched it. 
“Right,” you flagged down the bartender to order another drink. 
“You’re getting another one?” Spencer asked. 
You whirled your face to meet his and didn’t see judgment, but rather, concern. “Why does it matter?” you asked, no, dared. 
Spencer shook his head, defeatedly. “It doesn’t,” he grumbled. 
“What about that girl you were talking to earlier by the jukebox?” you asked, nudging his shin with your foot. “The grabby one. She seemed really into you.” 
Spencer visibly gritted his teeth. “I’m not interested.” 
“Are you interested in anyone in this bar tonight?” You asked. The words came too quickly for you to stop them. They were too real. Especially as Spencer’s frown hardened just slightly and you watched him look away from you. 
You took in a sharp inhale, the realization hitting you, the possibility that Spencer might actually feel the same way about you. And that you’d dragged him out here tonight to try and set him up with someone else. You were selfish and thoughtless and stupid. 
You hopped off the barstool, your feet wavering beneath you. “I’d better go home,” you said suddenly, grabbing your bag. You had to leave. You had to go home before you said something stupid, something irreversible. 
You stalked out of the bar and onto the brisk, late-autumn sidewalk. You’d forgotten your coat at the office and insisted you’d be fine. The chill smacked you in the face and you tucked your bag beneath your shoulder so you could cross your arms over your chest and hug yourself for any semblance of warmth. 
Thirty seconds hadn’t even passed before the door creaked and Spencer appeared at your side, throwing his coat wordlessly over your shoulders. “What did I do?” he asked. You looked up at him and saw his eyes - hurt, frustrated, confused. 
Your lips parted and there was a small shake of your head. “No,” you breathed. He furrowed his brows and you explained further. “You didn’t do anything.” 
“Then why the hell have you been so weird around me lately?” Spencer asked, scuffing his shoe against the sidewalk. Like a temperamental first-grader. 
“Weird how?” You asked, trying to pretend like you had no idea what he was talking about. Like your stomach didn’t flip every morning when you saw him. 
“Like you’re… like you’re mad at me. Like you don’t want to be around me,” Spencer looked at the street ahead of the both of you rather than at you. “You always find an excuse to leave the room when it’s just the two of us. You pull Derek or Emily or Penelope into the conversation so you don’t have to interact with just me. You’re out here trying to find me someone to hook up with?” he phrased the last sentence as a question, shaking his head. Your heart lurched. He let out an incredulous laugh. “It’s either you’re trying to shrug me off as a friend entirely, or -” 
He stopped himself. His eyes were fixed on the streetlamp a few feet in front of you. They widened and you felt your heart pound as he slowly met your gaze. The realization hit him, the second half of his sentence lingering, heavy and palpable between the two of you. 
“Or,” you repeated, not phrasing it as a question. Your voice was soft as you said it, your tone anything but a question. 
“Or?” Spencer asked, and you could see his chest start to rise and fall more slowly. 
“Or,” you confirmed, taking in a sharp breath. 
Spencer’s throat bobbed as he looked at you, his gaze piercing and soft, studious and lazy, hungry and satiated all at once. “Oh.” 
Oh. 
“How long?” he asked, turning his feet towards you. 
Your face went red and you lifted your chin, refusing to make yourself feel ashamed of it anymore. There wasn’t any point, not when he knew now. “Since March,” you admitted. Your voice was squeaky. 
“March?” Spencer repeated, incredulous. It was early October now. 
“Yeah,” you exhaled, shrugging his jacket off your shoulders and bunching it up by the middle. You handed it to him. “You don’t have to say anything,” you said. Your body felt like it was on fire. “You don’t have to-”
“I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.” 
You thought maybe you were hallucinating for a second. Your mouth fell open and despite your three drinks, you remembered clearly that Spencer had been drinking water. This was not some drunken confession, not for either of you, because the second he’d asked you why you had been so weird lately, you had instantly sobered up. “Oh,” was all you managed to choke out.
Oh. 
“Yeah, oh,” Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smile. That playful, friendly, teasing little smile you’d learned to love on him. He stepped towards you. 
You let out this little half-garbled laugh. Spencer reached for your hand, and you let him. Your fingers spread, allowing his in the spaces between. You looked up at Spencer and little fires shot up your hand. How could merely holding hands feel so monumental? 
“What do we… what do we do now?” You asked, your mind in a haze, like a computer awaiting command. 
Spencer let his jacket fall to the concrete and used his other hand to slowly, almost hesitantly, cup your cheek. He looked down at you and your entire face reddened. “Well,” his voice was soft, crackling, like a fireplace, and he met your gaze with searching eyes. “I’d like to kiss you now, if that would be okay,” he said finally. Your lips turned up into an idiotic smile. 
“I think that would be okay,” you whispered. 
His hands were so soft, you realized. His grip on your hand loosened and he was now cupping your face on both sides. And every nerve in your cheeks was firing off signals - Spencer is touching my face, Spencer is touching my face. Like it was some forbidden thing. But then, as if in slow motion, he ducked his head down and his lips touched yours. Gently, at first, tentative and wobbly like a foal taking its first steps. Your hands rested on his torso - taut beneath that stupid little sweater vest. 
He pulled back after just a moment. It was really only five or six seconds at the most, but you were red-faced and breathless by the time your eyes fluttered open, into his. Spencer’s smile was now a full-blown grin, and your expression mirrored his. “Yeah?” He asked, the word carrying more meaning. You’re into this, right? 
“Yeah,” you exhaled as Spencer dropped his hands from your face, but your hands remained on his torso, not wanting to step away just yet. The syllable meant more coming from you, too. I’m really, very much, super into this. Please, for the love of god, kiss me again. 
Spencer arched a brow ever so slightly, and you nodded your head. 
Just like a dance, Spencer’s hands moved to your waist, and at the same time, you slid yours around his neck. He backed you up, completely disregarding his jacket on the sidewalk, until you were flush against the brick wall belonging to the bar. The brisk October breeze ruffled through his hair and yours, yet, suddenly, neither of you were terribly concerned about the weather. 
He kissed you again, and this time it wasn’t as timid. Slowly, at first, his lips pressed against yours, and then his tongue darted out. It teased your lips in silent invitation, and you opened them to grant him access. His hands were everywhere, your hips, your hair, your face. You had moved your own down to his torso again. He coaxed the tiniest little mewl out of your throat, a completely uncontrollable and inevitable noise. 
Spencer’s low, gravelly groan reverberated through your mouth. Your hands gripped the bottom half of his shirt, balling it up in tight, white-knuckled fists. An unmistakable hardness brushed against your thigh. You were perfectly content to stay right there, pinned against the exterior wall of a D.C. bar, but the sound of a car honking its horn peeled Spencer off of you. 
His face was flushed and you released his shirt from your grasp. He let out a small grunt, stepping away from you to grab his jacket off the ground, wrinkling it haphazardly in his hand, holding it strategically over his middle. 
Oh, he liked you a lot. 
“You okay, Spence?” You asked all-knowingly, cocking your head to the side, leaning against the wall, lifting a foot to plant against it. 
Spencer shot a set of narrowed eyes at you, as if noting your smirk and storing it for later. “Yeah, I’m great,” he said, obviously struggling a little bit. His eyes quickly left yours and looked everywhere but at you. 
You didn’t want to embarrass him too much. So you just crossed your arms over your chest and looked at the sidewalk. But the smirk on your face wasn’t going away quite so easily. You considered briefly trying to talk to him about baseball or something to try and help him out, but you decided pointing it out would just humiliate him. Plus, it was a nice little ego boost, knowing you could get him like that with just a simple touch. 
He took a second, but he finally cleared his throat and met your gaze. You sucked your front teeth with your tongue and then bit your lip. “Want me to call an Uber?” You asked. 
Spencer just nodded, and you pushed yourself off the wall, stepping over to join him, digging your phone out of your pocket to order the car. “You okay?” You asked him again after submitting the request on your phone. Spencer’s face was still flushed, but he just nodded and reached for your hand. “Careful,” you warned, unable to resist the opportunity to tease him. “Don’t want you having an-“
“Shut up,” Spencer cut you off, and you snickered. 
——————————————————
You had never been in Spencer’s apartment before. It was unmistakably his, with stacks upon stacks of books in lieu of furniture. 
There was a sofa in his living room, along with a coffee table, a couple of lamps, and a television on a stand. The remaining space, besides a few spots here and there and a clear path with which to maneuver the room, was filled with books. 
You had never seen so many books in someone’s possession before. And sure, you were an avid reader yourself. But nothing like this. Your heart fluttered at the sight, not only because books simply just made you happy, but because it was an incredibly endearing detail about Spencer. Your Spencer. 
He shut and locked the door after you stepped inside, looking around with a childlike, awestruck grin. The TV had a thin layer of dust over the screen - he clearly didn’t use it often. And as you trailed a finger along the top of the nearest stack of books, you felt a pair of eyes watching your every move. 
You and Spencer had both been quiet in the Uber ride here. He had simply held your hand, swiping his thumb across the back of your palm every few seconds. You would occasionally meet his gaze, but then quickly, bashfully, look away, like the two of you were teenagers. 
It was so strange to think of what he had said to you - I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met. How had you not figured it out before now? 
You supposed you had been hiding your true feelings as well, so he was allowed to, too. 
There wasn’t any point in wishing to change the past, you reminded yourself. All you should be focusing on is right now. 
And right now, the street lamps peeked in through Spencer’s living room window, glinting off of his endless brown eyes and making them look like he had the moon in his irises. 
“So,” you said softly, not nearly as wicked as you had been when you were teasing him on the street by the bar. “This is where you live.” 
“Uh-huh,” Spencer bobbed his head, that awkward, straight-line smile crossing his face.
“Lot of books,” you pointed out. 
“Yep.” 
You arched a brow, a teasing smile crossing your face once again. “What’s with the monosyllabic conversation?” 
Spencer clenched and unclenched his fists at his side. “It’s just… really difficult to just stand here and not touch you,” he admitted, a sheepish smile crossing his face. 
You grinned. “You can touch me,” your voice dropped an octave, without you even really thinking about it. 
Spencer licked a canine with the tip of his tongue. God, that tongue. You remembered how he’d teased you less than an hour ago outside of the bar. “Maybe I will,” he shrugged, and you rolled your eyes. 
“You can’t really play it cool, right now, Spencer. Not when I just gave you a-“
“Please stop talking,” Spencer laughed, crossing the room and cupping your cheeks in his hands all in the same movement. You snickered and he kissed you and anything you might have been wanting to make fun of him for was forgotten about. 
You pressed your hands against his chest - holy pectorals, Batman - and craned your neck up so you could reach him. Spencer slid his own hands down your arms and to your hips, and you looped your arms around his neck. One palm flattened against the back of his head, holding him in place, fingers curling around pieces of his soft hair. 
Your heart was hammering away, and there was this aching, hot feeling that was pooling in your core and you all of a sudden felt hungry. Starving for Spencer, for every piece of him, for fully and finally crossing that line from friend to lover. An insatiable hunger for nearly every moment since you’d known him.
Finally you broke away from him, simply because oxygen was a necessity, and he rested his forehead against yours. Your eyes were still closed and your fingers ground into his scalp. “Look at me,” he requested, his voice low. 
Your eyes opened obediently and one of Spencer Reid’s hands curled under your chin. His face moved away from yours but his gaze was locked on yours, a pinpoint, a Northern Star. 
And when Spencer spoke again, your knees buckled. 
“I want you.”
Your mouth fell open, ever so slightly, and you nodded. “I want you, too,” you whispered. 
“Are you still…?” He asked, his eyes searching yours. You’d had three drinks earlier that evening, after all, but you’d polished the last one off nearly an hour ago. Maybe not fully sober, but sober enough to know what you wanted. 
“I’m fine,” you assured him. 
Spencer inclined his head to the side. “You’re sure? Can you pass a sobriety test?” 
You narrowed your eyes at him before you realized he was being sarcastic. You stepped back from him, shrugging off his hands, and extended your arms, touching your nose with your left hand, then your right. Spencer just laughed, and reached out for you, tugging you back to him. “Okay,” he chuckled, planting a kiss on your neck. You let him. “You’re fine, then?”
“I’m fine,” you agreed, shrugging him out of his sweater vest, and then reaching for the buttons on his shirt underneath. 
Spencer kissed your neck as you fumbled with the buttons - how were buttons suddenly impossible to undo? Your head craned back just slightly on instinct, wanting - needing - to allow Spencer more access. Your dexterity had become abysmal at this point, and Spencer’s lips were kissing your neck, down your throat, teasing at your collarbone. “Spencer,” you managed to groan out, a wave of annoyance present in your tone. 
“What?” he asked, pulling back, concern filling his face. 
You realized you had actually worried him. “Oh, no, no,” you waved it away, and he visibly relaxed. “I’m just really frustrated, because… because your shirt,” you stammered, and Spencer’s mouth twitched up into a smirk. 
“My shirt,” he stated. 
“That one, right here,” You laughed softly, curling your fingers around the buttons. You managed to wiggle one free, then another. Spencer leaned forward to continue kissing your neck, but you held a hand up to stop him. “Hang on,” you murmured, working through another button, and one more. “I’m concentrating.” 
“You’re sticking your tongue out,” Spencer snickered. Your eyes met his and your cheeks flushed.
“I’m concentrating!” Your voice rose slightly in self-defense. Spencer’s hands went to your hips. 
“It’s adorable,” he told you. “You make the same face at work. When you’re in the middle of filling out a form or trying to open a new bottle of coffee creamer without spilling it,” Spencer rubbed circles in your hips and your fingers stopped working again. 
“You noticed that kind of stuff?” You asked softly, looking up at him with doe eyes.
Spencer just nodded. “All the time.” 
I’ve had feelings for you since the day we met.
You inhaled sharply, finally undoing the last button.The skin beneath the shirt was pale, smooth, and perfect. And when he slid his arms through the sleeves and the shirt fell to the ground, you bit your lip, unable to help it. 
“Y/N?” 
You met Spencer’s gaze and let out this awkward little laugh. Embarrassing, really, if you hadn’t been in the company of your best friend. “You okay?” he asked, and you felt a little giddy as you nodded, moving your hands to his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him again. 
You didn’t know which direction the bedroom was in, so you just took a guess, pushing him back towards one of the doors. He kept his hands on your hips and his lips pressed against yours as he guided you, walking backwards, to the right door. You entered the bedroom and could not possibly be bothered to look around right now, not when Spencer was guiding you in a circle by merely touching your hips, not when the back of your knees hit what was unmistakably a mattress, not when you fell back against it. 
Your eyes were shut, unwilling to take in your surroundings as Spencer guided you onto your back. You toed off your shoes before lifting your legs, and Spencer hovered over you. Your lips were locked with his the entire time. And when you finally opened your eyes and you saw only Spencer, you grinned like a fool. 
Spencer’s fingers were like taking a shower. They were all over you - your hips, first, then your stomach, and you had to resist the urge to giggle because they tickled as he teased the bottom hem of your shirt up. You sat up slightly to get the blouse over your head and you watched him discard it onto the floor. And then his hands were over your chest, thumbs teasing under the wire of your bra, outlining the shapes of your breasts. 
Your breathing had gone heavy and staccato by this point, your body sinking into the mattress, shipwrecked as Spencer touched you. His eyes wandered over your and that little smile on his face was enough for you to know that he was immensely enjoying himself. 
“Can I…?” Spencer’s hands wandered down and gripped your pants as he looked into your eyes, a brow arched. 
You swallowed a lump in your throat and your blush appeared over your cheeks at the same time as his. “Yeah,” you whispered, and Spencer helped you wiggle out of your pants - black slacks, since you had gone straight from work to the bar. They were soon tossed to the floor, and you were only in your underwear and your bra. And Spencer’s brown eyes did not make you feel objectified or embarrassed, but safe. 
“You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he told you, seriously, and your breath hitched in your throat. 
“You-”
“I’m not done,” Spencer cut you off, lifting a hand to run his thumb down your chin. “You’re so beautiful. And you’re so kind, and smart, and funny. And I’d really like to show you how much I care about you,” he looked into your eyes as a sort of request. 
“I’m not on birth control,” You breathed out in response, feeling your cheeks redden for even bringing it up. Way to damper the mood. Still, you wanted to be responsible. “Do you have a c-”
Spencer’s soft smile turned into a wicked grin and he shook his head. “We’re not going to need one,” he promised, and after looking into his eyes for a moment, you understood. 
________________________________________
Spencer had thoroughly worshiped you, until you quaked and cried out with absolutely no thought to how thin his apartment walls might be. Usually, you didn’t allow yourself to be the center of attention for too long, but Spencer had insisted, and, well, you couldn’t very well deny him what he wanted, right? 
Covered in a thin sheen of sweat, your hair matted to the back of your neck, Spencer finally lay down beside you. Your breathing was just starting to come back to you as you turned on your side to face him. Spencer’s body mirrored yours, the tips of his fingers - those fingers - trailing up the side of your arm. “That was…” his voice was soft, gravelly, and he looked at you like you had anything to do with it. It was literally all him. “Incredible.” 
“Yeah,” you managed to breathe out, unable to really focus on anything besides the curve of Spencer’s lips, the way the apples of his cheeks appeared when he smiled like this. Spencer kissed your lips, unlike any way he had before. All the other kisses tonight had been hungry and excited, exploratory and new. This one was lazy and slow and you let his tongue dance across yours, and when he finally pulled away, your nose scrunched up in delight. 
Your eyes traveled from his lips, down his neck, his collarbone, then back up, taking him in. The glow of his skin, the tired yet exhilarated look in his eyes. So different now than at the beginning of the night, when he’d looked at you with that slightly annoyed expression as you had tried to set him up with other women. You recalled how he had gone off to that group of three women right before you’d abandoned the bar, how he had struck out on purpose just to satiate your nagging. “What’d you say to those women tonight?” You asked him curiously, furrowing your brows at him. 
Spencer, in turn, arched his brows at you. “Why?” 
“Because I’m curious,” you said as his fingers continued to trail, feather-light, up and down your arm. You traced your thumb along his jawline, stopping at his chin. “You were obviously blowing it on purpose.” 
Spencer rolled his eyes. “I actually do have some game, despite what Morgan might say,” he said, his tone defensive. 
You snickered. “Sure you do, Spence. Took you, what, eight months, to get me in your bed?” 
Spencer shot a playful glare at you and pinched the skin on your arm. You squeaked in response and he just laughed. “I just asked them how they were doing tonight,” he said finally, and you knew just from the look on his face that he was lying. 
“You did not,” you pushed back. “Come on, Reid, spill it.” 
“Ok, fine,” Spencer heaved a sigh and rolled his eyes, sitting up in the bed, his back against the headboard. You sat up, too, looking at him with concern. Why was he so embarrassed? “I told them… Jesus.” Spencer rubbed the space between his brows with his thumb and his forefinger. “I told them I was here with a coworker that I had a massive crush on, and that you were trying to set me up with someone else,” he began. 
You started to smile. 
Spencer continued. “I told them that I had absolutely no interest in going home with anyone tonight, and that I had been purposefully striking out all night long because I couldn’t stand the thought of even trying to look at someone the way I look at you.” 
Your smile grew and you moved to sit on your knees, inching closer to Spencer and throwing one leg over him, effectively straddling him against the mattress. “So I asked them,” Spencer continued, his lips turning slowly from an exasperated frown to a small smile. “I asked them if they could just look at me like I had said something stupid, and then I would leave them alone.” 
“Did they say anything to that?” You asked as Spencer’s hands found your hips, contouring to match the curves into the small of your back. 
Spencer’s voice got slightly lower, more serious, when he said, “The girl in the middle did. She said ‘that girl definitely has feelings for you, too’. And then they did what I asked, and I walked back over to you.” 
“She did not say that,” you rolled your eyes, just as Spencer kissed your lips. 
“I have an eidetic memory, Y/N,” he reminded you in a low whisper, as his lips lingered against yours. “Would I lie to you about that?” 
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