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lustresky · 4 years

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make me feel [bi!bucky barnes x bi!f!reader]

summary: Let’s just say that you and Bucky aren’t as bright as you both think you are. (Or, a story in which you both find out that the other isn’t actually completely over the fence— If you know what I mean.)

wc: 2800ish.

themes: reader and bucky are both bi disasters, misunderstandings, pining, a lil’ bit of angst?, crack? (idek at this point lmao), happy endings, not so subtle the witcher references, everyone else in the team getting tired of reader n bucky’s dumbasses.

a/n: title is a song by janelle monáe! also this is inspired by seb saying ‘bi rights!’ and well... also by me being a dumbass bi. this felt like the longest x reader i’ve ever written when in reality it’s the shortest one i’ve ever written lol. :’) oh well!

if you have any questions about this fic, feel free to send me an ask! c:

“Isn’t she just—“ You sigh dreamily, one of your arms coming up to rest at the table; your head then promptly laying on it. “God, I’m like— so gay.”

Bucky just laughs, ignoring the twinge of emotion in his chest. He sips his coffee, eyeing you through the corner of his eye.

Your eyes had been stuck on the Russian spy for the past ten minutes, now. Natasha, however, hadn’t noticed it all; which Bucky finds both funny and depressing.

Funny, because seeing the usually alert assassin being oblivious to your feelings is amusing; and depressing, because he knows that he’ll never be the object of your affections.

The reason isn’t even because of his past— you had made it clear to him numerous times before that you don’t think any less of him because of his history. It isn’t even about his arm— you had called it “Cool.” and “Awesome!” a handful of times before.

No; the reason that he’ll never be able to be with you is because you swing your bat for your own team.

Bucky just lets out a quiet sigh, blowing his coffee to cool it down some more.

When Natasha turns her head to give you both a smile, he doesn’t contain the small chuckle coming out of his throat when you suddenly flinch in your seat.

He wants more, he always had, but he knows better than to hope for things that he can never have.

I’ll just have to settle for this.

Bucky takes another sip.

“Damn.”

You look up from the TV; your view being greeted by Bucky as he sits next to you on the sofa, metal arm gleaming from the dim light of the screen.

The said television currently displays a very delightful and deliciously naked scene of Geralt of Rivia; the camera panning up from his thunderous thighs to his thick upper body— the only thing keeping the whole moment ‘Netflix-Show-Friendly’ is the white cloth haphazardly thrown across his waist, covering his dignity.

You snort as Bucky continues to hungrily stare at the fictional character, unashamed. His eyes are wide, pupils blown and you can’t help but feel the knot in your stomach tighten.

“Looks like someone’s a lil’ gay too, huh?” You laugh, trying to swallow down the feeling of heartache.

Bucky just chuckles back, eyes still focused on the screen. “You can say that…”

You tear your gaze off of the super soldier, doing your best to keep your disappointment at bay.

It isn’t his fault; you of all people know that you can’t exactly control what and who you’re attracted and not attracted to.

In fact, it’s your fault for falling for someone who’ll never like you that way.

Bucky will never look at you like that— you know that— but there are times, times like this…

Times where his arm is wrapped around your shoulders, times where your head is tucked under his chin, times where your back is pressed against his chest…

That you fool yourself into the idea of maybe you two can have something more.

Even if you know better.

Bucky hears the clacking of heels behind him, followed by the familiar whistling of Sam when he sees something he likes.

“Goddamn, Y/N!” He hoots, promptly making Bucky turn around from his area on the stove upon hearing your name.

His breath hitches up in his throat as he sees you: a form fitting and long sleeved black dress hugging every part of your body, ending quite high above your knees and showing off a garter on your left leg. Your hair is tousled, framing your face. The whole outfit is paired with black heels, and Bucky knows for sure that anyone else who’ll see you in it will do a double take.

You laugh at Sam. “Sorry, honey, but you know that I don’t see you that way.” You give him a wink, eyelashes fluttering as the eye-shadow on your eyelid glitters. Bucky can slowly feel his knees turning into jelly.

He quickly brushes off the butterflies in his stomach, trying to regain his composure.

Bucky clears his throat and sends you a smile, which he hopes doesn’t look too strained. “You look great, Y/N.”

Whatever his complicated feelings are, he isn’t going to let them stop him from giving you a genuine compliment. Bucky knows how happy it makes you whenever he gasses you up.

As he had expected, you give him a huge smile. “Awh— thanks, Buck.”

Before Bucky can reply, Sam slides back into the conversation. “So what’s all this for, then?” He asks, one eyebrow up. After a beat, he smirks. “Got a date?”

Bucky ignores the heart wrenching feeling in his chest.

You laugh, and that’s when he notices the folded flag in your hands. You unfold it and wrap it around your shoulders. “Nah, just got a parade to go to. You know how it is.” You send him another wink.

The flag has a tricolour design.

Bucky had never seen it before.

Sam just laughs, bright chuckles filling up the otherwise empty space. “I see you, honey. I see you.”

You tie the flag into a knot around your neck, giggling. “Well,” You say, arranging your hair, grabbing a clutch from God knows where. “Enjoy yourselves boys, I know I will.”

With a final wink— and even a salute— you step out of Bucky and Sam’s view, heels clacking once more as you make your way to the elevator.

Bucky’s trance gets broken as soon as he hears Sam snickering. He turns, feeling his cheeks flush with heat.

“What.” He says, furrowing his eyebrows, trying his best to look annoyed even if embarrassment is slowly eating away at him.

Sam just laughs. “God, you need to tell Y/N that you’re into her. I’ve been seeing you pine over her for months, dude. You gotta tell her the truth.”

Bucky scoffs and turns back to the stove, seeing his food now burnt to a crisp. Great. “Yeah, no thanks.” He says, embarrassment now being replaced by exasperation.

Sam groans back. “She’s clearly into you—“

“No, she isn’t,” Bucky cuts Sam off before he can even say anything else; annoyance quickly turning into rage.

He looks back at Sam. “I know she isn’t.”

After a beat, Sam scoffs. “As much as you think you know shit,” He starts, shaking his head.

“You don't know shit.”

You can’t help but let out a small whimper once Bucky’s fist collides with the boxing bag.

The way his muscles flex at every punch, the way the veins in his neck pop out at every grunt, the way his tank top clung to everything…

God. He looks absolutely appetizing.

Wanda snickers from beside you. She passes you a water bottle and you take no more than five seconds to chug it all down. “Well,” She laughs. “Someone’s thirsty today.”

You wipe your mouth, groaning. “Shut up.”

Wanda just giggles. “Awh, come on Y/N, you can be honest with me.”

You turn to look at her, being greeted by her wiggling eyebrows. “Ugh, I don’t wanna talk about it, Wanda.” You roll your eyes and turn your head back again.

Which is a mistake on your part— because as you do so, you’re welcomed by the sight of Bucky’s toned stomach; his hands grabbing onto the bottom of his tank top, rubbing the sweat off of his forehead.

You proceed to choke on air.

Wanda just cackles harder and louder— but at least she has enough empathy to pat your back.

Bucky, upon hearing the boisterous laughter, drops his hold on the tank top. His eyebrows furrow for a moment, before his eyes land on you; his lips then curling up into a small smile.

The heat in your cheeks becomes even hotter, but you manage to compose yourself just for a second to send him a grin; albeit crooked and a bit awkward.

Thankfully he doesn’t notice anything.

As Bucky turns back around to face the other side of the gym, you turn back to Wanda— face fuming.

“Be quiet!” You hiss, irritation and embarrassment settling in. “He can’t know that I’m into him, okay?”

Wanda raises an eyebrow, face contorted to a look of incredulity. “Why?” She proceeds to poke you on your shoulder. “It’s clear that you guys both like each other— just confess already. I’m tired of it.” She groans and rolls her eyes.

You scoff and let your eyes fall downcast onto the wooden floor.

“Trust me…” You sigh, feeling the disappointment bubbling in your stomach. “He doesn’t like me that way.”

Wanda lets out a noise of disagreement. “I don’t even need to get in his head to know that he’s into you—“

“Wanda just—“ You cut her off, lifting your eyes up from the floor to stare at her fully. The disbelief in her eyes upon hearing your words is clear, but it isn’t enough to erase the feeling of heartache in your chest. “Just trust me...”

“I’m sure of it.”

“Oh come on— Y/N!” Tony shouts, sounding exasperated, making you lift your eyes from the chicken on your plate and onto his upon hearing your name.

You cock an eyebrow at him, hands paused midway into cutting your meal. “Yeah, Tony?”

Steve raises a hand up to cover Tony’s mouth, but the billionaire manages to swat it out of the way. “Would you— as in-eloquent as this may sound— bang Mr. Barnes?” He asks, face determined and jaw set tight.

The rest of the chatter on the dinner table promptly stops. Natasha and Wanda both look amused, but the rest of the team just looks either: A) Confused, B) Disgusted, or C) An equal yet unfortunate mix of both.

You don’t say anything for a few seconds, caught too off guard to even answer. After a minute your mouth opens, but it closes back just as quick— open and close just like a fish.

Tony groans, arms crossing around his chest like a child. He leans forward to your direction. “Well? Yes or no?”

You force your lips to part with the intention of saying a reply, but Bucky beats you to it.

“Stark, I think we all know that Y/N would never say yes.” He says, voice dark and unamused.

“Well, I— for one— don’t,” Tony replies, not even letting you speak. His brows are furrowed as he shakes his head. He lifts one hand up, a finger going down as he says, “First off, and I say this totally platonically, you’re jacked. Second, we’re not blind— we see you both cuddling at the sofa when you’re watching The Witcher; and third, as a super soldier, your stamina in bed—“

Bucky cuts him off before he can even continue. “It’s because I’m a man, Stark.” His eyes narrow, annoyance and anger clear on his face. “Don’t you see that Y/N’s not into that?”

Your eyes widen, and before anyone else can interrupt you, you say, “Hold up— what?”

Bucky just stares back at you; and you notice the irritation on his face slowly morphing into hopelessness. “Aren’t you— you know…” Bucky lets out a sigh, metal hand waving in the air. “Gay?”

“What?” You respond back, eyebrows now knit together in confusion and surprise. “I mean yeah, but— no?”

Bucky just looks back at you in confusion.

“I’m not— I’m not gay. Not exactly,” You shake your head. “I’m bi— you know, as in bisexual?”

Bucky doesn’t say anything, eyes wide in shock.

A silence reigns over the table before Tony breaks it again.

“Well that means that that lil’ reason is unjustifiable, then!” He claps his hands. “So what is it, Y/N? A yes? A no?”

You roll your eyes, trying to ignore the feeling of rejection starting to bubble in your stomach. You know your answer, but it didn’t matter in the end.

“I don’t think what ever I’ll say will be worth it in the long run, Tony,” You try to play off the heartache by turning back to your plate. “Besides, I don’t have a chance, anyways.” You laugh half heartedly.

A beat passes— even Tony doesn’t reply to your words— until…

“What do you mean you don’t?” Bucky asks, low enough to be a whisper, but loud enough for you to catch it.

You look up, staring back into his cerulean eyes. “Well...” You try not to show your feelings as you shrug your shoulders. “Aren’t you gay?”

A pause, then— Bucky snorts. Actually snorts.

“Doll, I’m not—“ His eyes are crinkling, smile stretched wide. “I mean, yes, but I’m… I’m into women just as much as I am into men.”

You let your jaw drop.

Wait… So that meant…

This time, Steve interrupts. “Okay… I think I’ve had enough of dinner, how about we watch a film?” He stands up from his seat, his own chair loudly scratching against the wood as he tries to act nonchalant.

Everyone else— except you and Bucky— stands up, a chorus of “Yeah, sure.”‘s and awkward coughs filling the room. The team heads out in a straight file into the communal space.

Tony, before disappearing into the corner, sends you both a wink; Steve promptly whisks him away.

You look back at Bucky.

The two of you just stare at each other wordlessly; still reeling over the fact that you two had both been absolute idiots.

For a few minutes, silence engulfs both of you, until Bucky coughs.

“You still—“ He lifts up an arm and rubs the back of his neck, a nervous tick that you instantly recognize. “You still haven’t answered Stark’s question…”

You sit straighter in your seat, surprised at his words. The heat creeps up to your cheeks; and although you know now that you actually have a chance, the weight of rejection is still heavy.

After all, you had already accepted being turned down because of his ‘supposed’ attraction not including your sex— which, truthfully, hurts less than being rejected because of anything else.

You let out a chuckle, but it doesn’t end up sounding as happy as you had wanted it to be. “It’s not that important, Buck— you don’t want to know, trust me.” Your eyes fall down to your unfinished meal once more.

Bucky lets out a sigh, and for a few seconds he doesn’t say anything. Until…

“That’s the thing, Y/N… I— I want to.”

You look up, making eye contact once more.

“I want to know,” He says, eyes full of hope yet also doubt. “I’d rather know now than never.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat.

“So?” Bucky smiles, a small, unsure one. “Do you— as per Tony’s words— want to bang me?”

The laugh escapes your mouth as soon as Bucky pronounces those words, and you just take a second to compose yourself. God, isn’t this night just eventful?

As the last few giggles come out, you shake your head, feeling the courage to say the truth run up your veins.

Fuck it.

You fix your gaze into Bucky’s eyes— those cerulean blues that you can get lost in for days.

“I do want to bang you, Sergeant Barnes,” You say, and as his eyes flash with joy as your mouth quirks into a grin.

“But I don’t want just that…”

Before you know it, you had stood up from your seat and are now walking towards him; the fearlessness in you becoming bigger and bigger with each step you take.

Once you reach him, he stands up from his seat as well. He towers over you easily, but instead of being intimidated, you feel comforted.

“I want to… I want to go on dates with you, I want to cuddle with you, I want to talk about everything and nothing and just—“ You look up at him through your eyelashes, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach as you grip onto your nerves.

“I want you.”

Bucky doesn’t respond for a moment, prompting you to worry that you might’ve misread the situation, but instead of words he leans down— capturing your lips with a soft peck.

It’s quick, chaste— but it’s enough for your heart to soar.

You gaze back into his eyes, feeling your cheeks burn and the butterflies in your stomach having a party.

Bucky smiles, lips quirked so high upwards that his eyes crinkled. You think— no, you’re sure— that you’d never get enough of the sight.

“I want you too.”

“Buck, how in the hell did you not know that I was bi? I walked around with a whole ass pride flag on my back!”

“It isn’t my fault that we didn’t have those back in the day— and besides, I’ve never heard you talk about having a crush on another guy!”

“That’s because I had a crush on you, dumb-ass. Plus, what about you? You spend all your time ogling at Geralt, I’ve never even seen you stare at a woman!”

“That’s because the only woman that I have my eyes on is you, doll!”

thanks for reading! as always, requests are open! & pls don’t forget to like and reblog, thank you! c:

#lily’s lil’ stories #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x you #james buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #tony stark #steve rogers #wanda maximoff #wanda maximov #sam wilson #one shot #bi!reader #bi!bucky barnes

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ambersky0319 · 5 years

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Amber Rambles about a Story-

So I wanna ramble about an original story, the ideas I have for it, the characters, the world in general and the one person in my house that would listen and give good feedback or ideas and knows the basics of what I have planned is currently asleep so

There's a lot here oof-

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So to start off I wanna scratch the surface that is the world before I delve into the characters

The story(from what I have planned it'll take place over 11 books) takes place mainly on an alternate-earth that is more dystopian/sci-fi ish and an original fantasy world I've been calling Fandahli. The first part of the first book takes place in Fandahli, and the second and third parts on this alternate-earth.

The earth is basically unified, most people speaking a new language just known as Emor(basically English under a different name). Technological advances have come to a stop, or so it would seem. The world is pretty much American culture having taken over media, erasing other cultures, etc. They now call themselves Emorians. Not a good place to be.

They had created an organization about twenty-five years before the story takes place, at the time called Prosper, but later it renamed itself as Tempest. The organization was less of that and more like a government experiment, combining animal genes into the genes of humans in a certain way to create the 'ultimate human'. Originally, the Emorians created them to keep everyone in line. These humans were trained to be assassins without the government's knowing however and it wasn't long before Emorian officials began to disappear.

Now Fandahli! Fandahli is a world that's very similar to Earth, but is held together by magic(in this universe, Earth also technically has magic but it's very little/very weak and has been dormant for so long it's been forgotten). It was created by four Cinomeds, powerful beings that have powers no one still on Fandahli has. These four are: Rikki, Angel, Serranidae, and Aki.

Along with that, the most two important continents on Fandahli are Vola and Tione.

After the War of Cinomeds, where Angel rebelled against her companions, the land was pretty much destroyed. But portals to other worlds remained open and the land healed. Humans then arrived after discovering one of the portals, but soon after the portals all closed once more, trapping them there. The humans adapted, gaining magic to help them survive, and changed their name to Dalis.

The Dalis split over the different continents, and then into different kingdoms, and grew from there. The main kingdom focused on is Tongyi, located within Vola. It remains spring there no matter the time of year.

The powers of the Dalis vary, but usuaily end up being one of these:

Weapon-Creation

Barrier-Creation

Healing

Barrier creation and weapon creation can sometimes occur within the same Dali, though it isn't too common- but it's not rare either

Aside from Dalis, there are also Dragons. The dragon species vary on where on Tione they come from, or if they come from a different part of Fandahli. I'm still designing some of them.

And then there are the werewolves. Most werewolf villages are peaceful, and are respected by all Dali. It's believed to be a great dishonor to fight any werewolf village. I'm still developing the werewolves as well, I just know they play important roles within the story itself later on.

Back to Cinomeds cause I forgot an important detail!

After the War of Cinomeds(thought to be a war of gods by the Dali, they're also thought to just be legends), Angel was forcefully split apart. Her soul was torn and although Rikki(the one who defeated her) believed that she was gone for good, it seemed that she would just be reincarnated into two other people(Dalis for a long while, later encompassing both Fandahlian species and Humans) that when together could possibly turn into her. It was rare that any of the reincarnates actually met.

The other Cinomeds fell into a deep slumber until the portals would be reopened.

I feel I've rambled long enough about the world 😅 how about my babies next?

Evanna Mays

Evanna is a force to be reckoned with

The youngest queen to ever rule Tongyi, taking the throne soon after her (quite hated)mother's death. She took the throne midway through a war with another kingdom

Evanna herself is loved among her subjects, though many often try to tell her to do or not do certain things. Try to give her restrictions

Like don't fight on the front lines, have an heir if you're gonna do that, just stay on your throne, don't go to other kingdoms it's too dangerous

Each person fails

Especially whenever they bring up an heir, cause it's not like she doesn't like kids she just never wants to have a biological one

And she refuses to marry someone with a kid so they'd become her heir

She's Aro/Ace if ya didn't catch on

Her family all has bright red hair and pastel blue eyes. They're the only ones in all of Vola with these traits and are quite recognizeable.

She later adopts and people get off her case about having an heir because he is her son just not her biological son but that changes nothing cause she loves him and will fight anyone who thinks he's not fit for the throne

Dani Mays

The adopted son

He's just like Evanna, rushing into battle, and citizens of Tongyi just panic because oh fuck he's gonna die he's more reckless than her-

Very social but people treat him so differently cause he's the prince that he can't seem to make any friends and he h a t e s that

Then two humans come into his life and he is very very bi

Queue a whole love-triangle subplot that goes well

Dani adores reading and learning overall, spending hours in Evanna's old study

Becomes King far sooner than he had wanted

Life goes to hell not long after coronation and he suffers from depression and nothing's good for anyone during this time

Does he get a happy ending? Who knows

He doesn't

Oh also he's a biromantic asexual boi and proud

Leona Carter

Young woman with a troubled past, Leona is a very stubborn and apathetic human

Is a high-ranking member of Tempest

It was a last resort in a difficult situation and she's just glad her heart is still beating

Is pretty well-off so long as she follows orders

But if course she later joins a rebellion after becoming very gay for one of her targets that she now refuses to kill for other reasons

Slow burn subplot ensues

She nearly dies many times

95% of the time she does not care if she dies

Just wants a peaceful life

Does she ever get it?

Eventually, after losing something really important though

Marie Sydney

Marie had a decent life, great parents and an awesome protective older brother, and his new daughter

Yeah that all shattered after something happened to her and she was left to cope by herself cause she wasn't sure what to do about the situation

She just adopted a fifteen year old btw who has no idea about her situation

Then she meets Leona

She thinks Leona's great, but there's something off about this news reporter

And then Leona reveals her actual job and the original reason she ever asked Marie out and she's sobbing and a gun is in her hand but she's placing it in Marie's and begging for Marie to pull the trigger

Turns out Marie was a target but Leona just can't kill Marie, not knowing what's happened to Marie nor what could happen now that the two grew close. But Leona's incapable of taking her own life

Marie doesn't pull the trigger

Life somehow gets worse as she's tangled up in this whole Tempest bullshit

Falls for Leona in the process and is very conflicted about it

Taylor Sydney

Adopted by Marie at 15

Her life's pretty normal until a portal is discovered and when she's a high school senior her class is forced to learn about Vola and Tongyi specifically. They eventually go to Tongyi through the portal

Turns out her Mom and Leona know the queen of Tongyi cause things have happened

Meets Dani and Jeremiah

They find out they can form Angel and that's when shit really goes down

Things happen, love confessions made, near death experiences, loves drifting apart, etc. etc.

Doesn't have a happy ending

Jeremiah Canales

My trans boi

I love him, he gets mistaken for Evanna's son quite a lot, usually by humans

He identifies as pan, and doesn't experience dysphoria. Oh and he was a Tempest Engineer for awhile

His family was pretty accepting of him once he reconnected with them(originally drifted apart cause of reasons I have yet to create)

Is pretty much the only braincell Angel has when formed

He feels really, really guilty that weapons he created were used to kill dozens of people and somehow equates that to him killing them even if he was forced to make the weapons

Oh and Deathstriker(highest ranking member of Tempest) uses his Tempest name and despite being absolutely awful in every way refuses to deadname or misgender him

It's the one thing he'll ever appreciate Deathstriker doing

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This ain't even all the characters(obviously). There's still Kord Sydney, Chloe Jansen, and Neva Sydney, all of whom are still being developed. Deathstriker, and all the Cinomeds. Past Angels that will be relevant at different parts of the story. And many other characters that I've never even mentioned in the past.

Anywho fair warning, the series does not end quite that happily. I'm hoping to make the last chapter(an epilogue) to have a bittersweet feeling but idk I'm debating it.

Anyway if you got this far....

Thanks? I think? Idk I've never had anyone get this far I think in any original thing I've ever made- if you got this far tho here's some hearts cause I love you for taking some sort of interest in my personal creations 😅

💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤💘💞💖💕💓💗❤

#cinomed chronicles #ambersky ocs #ambersky #ambersky oc #ambersky original writing #original content #rambling #if anyone ever has any questions about this story #i will literally cry #and gladly answer through my tears and love you forever #but i doubt anyone will XD #yall are here for the gay fanfic #not my gonna-be-angsty confusing original story

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yourdailykitsch · 7 years

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Texas Forever: Taylor Kitsch Is Doing Hollywood His Way (Exclusive) Taylor Kitsch isn’t here to impress. “I get so bored if I play the same or look the same in every role,” Kitsch says on a pleasant January afternoon in Pasadena, Calif. The 36-year-old actor is gearing up for the most transformative role of his career in Waco, the six-part Paramount Network miniseries about the 1993 siege premiering Wednesday, Jan. 24. The Kelowna, British Columbia, native plays David Koresh, controversial leader of the Branch Davidians, who, along with 75 of his followers, perished in a deadly fire following a violent 51-day standoff with the FBI. “Maybe it’s an older school mindset,” he theorizes, leaning back in his chair in deep thought, a cool, laidback confidence radiating from him. “I love the grind.” Kitsch first broke out onscreen in 2006, as brooding bad boy Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights, becoming a favorite among young female fans of the NBC drama. Since the show ended in 2011, he’s largely steered away from roles akin to the character that propelled him to heartthrob status, instead leaning into parts that weren’t exactly tailor-made for him to begin with: a gay activist in The Normal Heart, a villainous operative in American Assassin, a successful weed dealer in Savages and most recently, one of the elite firefighters battling the Yarnell Hill Fire in Only the Brave. “I grew up on these guys, like the Sean Penns and the Gary Oldmans. I think there’s a high to that. I love that challenge,” he says. “When I started studying acting that was kind of what it was about: figuring out your process to create these different characters.” As Koresh, Kitsch unlocks another hidden ability in his growing breadth as an actor, exuding a level of charm and magnetism in Waco that is both mesmerizing and mystifying, only because the man he portrays wasn’t a good man at all. “There aren’t many characters like this that exist. He’s enigmatic and crazy brilliant and crazy, period,” says Kitsch, who calls Austin, Texas home. In order to realistically embody the sect leader, Kitsch -- who also serves as an executive producer -- grew out his hair and dropped 30 pounds in four months; his 500-calorie diet consisted of egg whites, coffee, vegetables, a tiny bit of protein and, after 4 p.m., broth. “Losing weight when you already don’t have too much to lose, it’s no fun, but it’s just part of it,” Kitsch says of his transformation, adding that it played “a huge part in the cadence” of a “mad genius” like Koresh. “The way you walk, the way you feel… It reaffirmed how smart he had to be because it was never blunt force. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t intimidate that way.” It also required Kitsch to lose himself in Koresh’s world -- and he took it quite literally. For months leading up to filming in Santa Fe, New Mexico, last April, Kitsch devoted “eight to 10 hours a day” familiarizing himself with all facets of David Koresh’s intricate life. That included four hours of guitar and singing lessons, scripture readings, dissecting hours upon hours of Koresh’s tapes and researching his difficult upbringing. “It was almost laughable in the beginning. I would joke around about how much prep I had,” Kitsch recalls. There were moments during the production of Waco that proved challenging. Kitsch zeroed in on the sermons as being particularly “tough” to memorize and he became obsessed with nailing the improbable task. “I’m more known for saying less is more,” Kitsch says, alluding to his famous FNL character, Riggins, “so to be as talky as Dave… But when you’re mixing in scripture, it’s just so hard to infuse into my brain. I’d be in my house in Santa Fe and I’d have all these white boards all over the house of scriptures and psalms and everything that I had to remember in episode five, six or in a monologue. Everywhere in the house I could see it, I would say it out loud, walk over there, see it and say it out loud.” The most daunting part about playing Koresh, though, had nothing to do with memorizing nine-page sermons and everything to do with standing in front of a mic. “The singing and guitar was ******ing scary man,” Kitsch confesses, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. (Koresh performed with his band in local Waco bars and church services. Survivor David Thibodeau, whose 1999 book on which Waco is based, said Koresh recruited members through music.) “I’ve never been in a ******ing singing booth either, putting it on a track so we could go film it two days later. So I’d go in the studio with a real band, which is scary to begin with, and be like, ‘Hey, I’m about to sing ‘My Sharona,’ are you ready?’ and they’re like” -- he gives a knowing look -- “‘All right...?’ They were awesome and supportive, and I gained a lot of confidence from that.” There was once a time when Kitsch’s stardom was fast approaching elite status. Fresh off the success of Friday Night Lights, Hollywood came knocking with two very expensive tentpoles, Battleship and John Carter -- films that held the promise of proclaiming him the next franchise superstar. It just didn’t happen. Both films bombed at the box office and were panned by critics. “I’ll read articles, but I won’t go on Rotten Tomatoes,” Kitsch, who only recently joined Instagram, cracks. Though it didn’t seem that way at the time, in hindsight, his failures were blessings in disguise: Kitsch had the opportunity to redirect his career on a far more interesting path. “I feel I’ve stayed the course,” Kitsch says, analyzing his ups and downs with a refreshing candor. “I’m proud of the way I reacted to John Carter. I’m proud of the way I reacted to Battleship. I still have no regrets really. At the time in your life that these opportunities present themselves, I would have done it again knowing the circumstance and knowing what was going on. What I’m proud of is my work ethic throughout. I’ve never wavered. I feel like I’m getting better and better. I think Waco is a great example of that.” “When you have people who believe in you and give you these chances, I just won’t let go of that opportunity,” he adds, his steadfast loyalty and gratitude to those who have seen him as more than just a pretty face unwavering. “I don’t know if it’s something I’ve learned; it’s something I’m proud of -- that I’ve, in that sense, kept grinding. It’s kind of all I know now. I’ve always -- in sports, in life -- there’s a way I make it where I have to grind, you know what I mean? It’s the underdog thing. It carries me or I carry that with me, whatever that is.” Kitsch has rarely spoken about the much-maligned second season of HBO’s True Detective, in which he portrayed closeted highway officer and ex-military man Paul Woodrugh. He acknowledges that the 2015 season was far from perfect though his experience was “really, really positive” (“Obviously, it’s not the best case that people didn’t react to it that way,” Kitsch says). While it may seem, from the outside at least, to have been a contributing factor in the long gap between TV projects, Kitsch assures that wasn’t the case. “I remember watching season one [of True Detective] -- I haven’t told anyone this -- and sitting in bed and I was like, ‘If I could ******ing get on a show like that…,” he remembers. “You’re allowed to let go a lot easier when you understand you put everything you could that you had control over that you felt you knocked out. You can walk away a lot easier.” Kitsch still keeps in touch with creator Nic Pizzolatto (“I’d go work with Nic tomorrow”) and he’s looking forward to the third installment with Oscar winner Mahershala Ali (“They got an amazing cast”). There’s an ounce of disappointment in his voice when he eventually evaluates what went wrong. “Season one was incredible and I think it’ll go down as all-time, and that says a lot because there is some amazing stuff in the last 30 years. I think the bar was crazy high, which I have no problem swinging for, but there were some constraints in the timing of it,” Kitsch says. “Sometimes you’re on a movie or you’re in a relationship and the magic just isn’t there, or you are in one and everything just seems to play out the right way. I’m sure I could speak for the other leads in it -- man, we were all proud to be there. Everyone came beyond prepared -- you have to when you’re working with Nic -- and we swung.” Next for Kitsch is a tale that has stayed in his brain for the past several years, like an earworm that just won’t leave his head. Titled Pieces, Kitsch plans to write, direct, star and produce the feature film based on his 2014 short about three guys who grew up in the worst part of town with a sudden opportunity to change their kids’ and families’ lives. “It’s a bit savage-y. It’s a bit Western-y. It’s a grimy movie. Everything f***king goes crazy,” Kitsch says with a glint of excitement piercing through his deep green eyes. He’s never done anything this intensive before, executing his own idea from page to screen. Could this be Kitsch’s next chapter in his career? “We’ll see how this goes,” he says with an anxious laugh. Asked if he’s nervous about jumping into something so deeply personal that will truly be his, Kitsch didn’t mince words: “You should be. Hopefully, I’m nervous about my next job too. It’s a story that won’t leave me. I want to do this and I want to do it my way.”

#taylor kitsch #waco #tim riggins #True Detective

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thisweekingundamwing · 7 years

Text

August 5 - August 12 Weekly Round-up!

Hello lovely GW fans!

It’s everyone’s favorite day of the week - the day of the week where you get all kinds of Gundam Wing creations linked in one super awesome post.

Don’t forget to show these amazing creators some love for all their creativity and hard work!

OH! Also, please tag us in anything GW related that you think other fans will enjoy. We do search AO3 for fics but anything specific to tumblr can get lost in the tags (or somehow tumblr eats it and it’s lost to the void).

Have a wonderful week and enjoy!

- Mod Maeve

Fanfiction:

Just as a quick side note, be sure to read the warnings listed on AO3 before reading because I may have missed some!

@amberlyinviolet - Knife in Hand, Chapter 21

http://archiveofourown.org/works/6068848/chapters/26407083

Chapter Summary: The Russian honeymoon continues. I'm gonna be honest with you guys: the next four chapters are roughly 75% smut and these two idiots working out their relationship issues. Which I think we all agree is very important! But the plot is still there, and once the honeymoon is over, whooooo boy. There's gonna be a whole lot of action, of a very different kind.

Paring: 2x3.

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage.

@anaranesindanarie - Happy Birthday

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11757804

Summary: Birthday Fic! Happy Birthday!!

@claraxbarton

Ready for You

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11763066/chapters/26516211

Summary: A chance meeting ten years after the war leads Duo and Trowa down an unexpected path. Birthday fic for Kangofu-CB.

Pairings: 2x3.

The Road Not Taken

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11743851/chapters/26464809

Summary: What happens when a gay man answers the classified ad of a straight man?A mild-roast love story.Originally written and posted in 2014 on ff.net. Rewrite (more like a polish) in progress.

Pairings: 2x3, 1x5, 3x1, 3x4, 6x2.

@chronicwhimsy - Saudade, Chapter 6

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11352189/chapters/26539068

Series Summary: Duo and Trowa travel through Europe with the circus during the summer after the Barton uprising. Mentions of underage sex and drinking, unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Pairings: 3x4, 2+3 bromance.

Warnings: Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Mentions of Underage Sex, Underage Drinking.

ConsSunshine58 - Broken Memories, Chapter 5

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11545908/chapters/26434542

Chapter Summary: Truckin' along. More Yuy-Maxwell Family Feels for sure. Another chapter or two before they get home--this one is longer, but chapter 6 will be short. A bit of medical squick in the first part of this chapter, be warned! I'm trying to stay as true to real life as possible, so that means some uncomfortable stuff, but it's almost over! Hang in there, Duo!

Pairings: 1x2 and 3x4.

Warnings: Hand Jobs, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Memory Loss.

DarkBluePhoenix - Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy – Gundam Invasion

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10464375

Summary: A Mobile Suit Gundam Wing and Mobile Fighter G Gundam CrossoverIt’s a Gundam! *RANDOM EXPLOSION!* The cast of Gundam Wing meet our young heroes and befriend them in this tale of how those who understand, those who fight, those who doubt, and those who pass by, can claim victory against the forces of evil reborn. Mission Accepted. All systems go! Gundams… Evangelions… Launching!

Diana_Lua - Acordando

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11730744

Summary: "Eu posso ver claramente agora, eu posso ver as regras do mundo. As funções da vida. O dever dos fortes. Não existe segredo nisso. Não existe segredo algum quando você está acordando.Nós estamos pegamos fogo, então, deixe queimar…"

Karen - Alliance in Blood

http://www.mwotw.com/moon/aib13.html

A three to five fic series about Duo and his adventures with the supernatural because of his relationship with a werewolf. Supernatural AU.

Pairing: 5x2, 3x4.

Warnings: Violence. R/NC-17.

@kangofu-cb - Mission: Redacted, Chapter 14, (Mod note: THE FINAL CHAPTER!!!!! )

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10872516/chapters/26495907

Series Summary: Post-war, Une has been selected to direct the new Preventers Organization. Unfortunately, following government directives of disarmament and pacifism, criminal enterprises have sprung up, escalating crime and violence. Searching for a solution, she brainstorms a team of off-the-books operatives tasked with protecting the peace at all costs.Meanwhile, the pilots are all dealing with peace and the scars of war in their own ways, not all of them healthy...

Pairings: 2x5, background 3x4 and RxD.

@ladyjstruth-blog - Hard Line, Chapter 5

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10901946/chapters/26430144

Series Summary: It's been nine years after the Eurussian Incident and the Earth Sphere Unified Nation continues to experience peace through communication and cooperation. Quatre Raberba Winner, while finishing his doctoral thesis in engineering at MIT in Boston, reconnects with his friend and ex-boyfriend, Trowa Barton. A romantic flame is rekindled while an old enemy plots his revenge.

Pairings: 3x4, 2xH, 1xR.

luvsanime02 - Maneuvers, Chapter 6,

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11385195/chapters/26430177

Series Summary: Heero and Relena are ready to start up their business. Their first client? Dorothy Catalonia.This is the sixth story in Navigation, a fem!Heero series.

@miss-m-muses - Life of the Party

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11781054

Summary: Zechs is always the life of the party among the Sanc elite as he represents the acceptable face of OZ. Yet he hides a secret, as he always has.

Pairing: 6x2.

Warnings: Angst, Sexual Content, OZ won AU.

@morbidbirdy - Worth the Fight

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11761563

Summary: Wufei wakes up after an accident to find the least likely person sitting in his hospital room. He realizes he's made a mistake and that some thing are worth fighting for.

Pairing: 5xOriginal Male Character.

@nekoflashficcing

Eye for an eye

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11782431

Summary: The TRC!GW AU I've just recently realized I've wanted to write but nobody asked for. A snippet where Trowa snaps and fights Duo for his magic.

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence and Body Horror.

Boyband

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11767917

Summary: “Rock band turned idol boy band” trope AU.

panther3751 - Heavy

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11751480

Summary: the things we carry with us, outside and after battle.

Pairing: Zechs Merquise & Lucrezia Noin.

Warning: PTSD.

Strawberrywaltz - The Forgotten, Chapter 2

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11686344/chapters/26307213

Summary: The entire universe thinks that Quatre Winner is dead, but when Heero starts having strange black outs he begins to realize the rumors of Quatre's death might not be true.

Pairings: 4x1, 4xOriginal Male Character(s), Past 3x4.

Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Temporary Character Death, Temporary Amnesia, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Post-Series, Slow Burn.

@the-indomitable-bhg ( Sanyukumiko (BHG) ) - Uh Oh, ZERO

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11783634/chapters/26571666

Summary: After losing something important to Heero, Duo enlists the help of Wufei, Trowa and Quatre to get it back before the Wing pilot notices.

@the-indomitable-bhg and @morbidbirdy

End of Line, Chapter 15

http://archiveofourown.org/works/10833834/chapters/26486106

Series Summary: The Grid, the legendary Tron System, has always intrigued Duo Maxwell. After years of dreaming and months of tireless work, he finally receives the final part he needs to unlock the door to the digital frontier. A blast of a digitizing laser later he finds himself in the world of his dreams. However, soon that dream becomes a nightmare as he comes to realize that his existence in this new world is both a danger to him and to the programs who reside there. With the help of Security Program Trowa and a mysteriously damaged and glitchy program named Heero, he embarks on a journey through The Grid to seek help from a mysterious entity known as the Gatekeeper. Will he be able to get out of the Tron System, or will the organizations who are hunting him manage to derez him first?

Pairing: 3x1, 3x4.

Something About Us, Chapter 19,

http://archiveofourown.org/works/11333262/chapters/26486007,

Series Summary: Five Years after Operation Meteor the fragile peace between Earth and the colonies is once again threatened when a beloved prominent political figure is assassinated. The former Gundam pilots come together again for a new mission, which forces unexplored feelings to arise between Heero and Trowa.

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Slash, Post-Endless Waltz, Post-Canon, Action & Romance, Missions, Mobile Suits, Preventers (Gundam Wing)

Pairing: 3x1.

Fanart:

@avaantares - Paper Currency Graphic Design

http://avaantares.tumblr.com/post/163907249353/oh-man-flashback-to-that-time-in-one-of-my

@beccaboo8810 - In-progress custom Preventer’s Patch (04) sketch

https://beccaboo8810.tumblr.com/post/163873265405/progress-it-all-needs-cleaned-up-big-time-and-the

@chronicwhimsy - Duo Maxwell Sketch

http://chronicwhimsy.tumblr.com/post/164074303142/my-boy

@detectivesinc - Monet in space

http://detectivesinc.tumblr.com/post/163988822139/monet-in-space

@endlesschaosart - Trowa Barton in The Fall in-progress pic

https://endlesschaosart.tumblr.com/post/164038120251/still-in-progress-but-i-have-to-go-to-bed-now

@gundam-wing-crossovers - GW/Cardcaptor Sakura crossover sketch

https://gundam-wing-crossovers.tumblr.com/post/163842169564/what-did-you-do-today-i-drew-terrorists-into-a

Cosplay:

@manabingu - Metrocon 2017 cosplay pictures

http://manabingu.tumblr.com/post/163934284351/metrocon-2017-cosplay-highlights

http://manabingu.tumblr.com/post/163968226111/got-to-meet-some-old-and-new-friends-at-metrocon

Calendar Events:

End of Summer Tropes Block Party by @gwblockparty

Posting September 1st - 4th

A fanworks celebration of all things tropey and cliche!

Gundam Wing Eve War Event by @gw-evewar

(Saturday) December 23, 2017 - (Sunday) December 24, 2017

Open Science Fiction Themed Event

event will be observing Universal Coordinated Time (UTC)

Submissions: Fanfiction, Meta essays, Personal Headcanon, Fan Art

Rules: All works must feature a science fiction theme. Alternate Universes, and cross-over fiction are welcome. There are no limits to characters, pairings, audience rating, time frame or universe.

To participate please check @gw-evewar for participation information.

#thisweekingundamwing

17 notes · View notes

dev-hub4fixfict-ut · 7 years

Text

Know & Determinate: II- the surface and a lame witch; chap 1

/racism, /hate crime, /physical assault, /alcohol, /c slur, /unsanitary, /witchcraft, /panic attack, bad writing. like, really bad. i wrote this when i was in a bs brainspace in highschool to cope.

a self-insert fanfiction where i write what happens after my runs of undertale. written in google docs and idk what im doing. Frisk is 12, use they/them, has a bullshit life, Chara also uses they/them, and is still here, and never meant for all this to happen, they hate each other, and Sans is still, and forever will be, a mess.

_________

here we go with that stuff !! im pumped enough to not collapse of stage anxiety ah ah.

please do not confuse my complicated style for pretentiousness. im but a wordy insecure fool. with a super touchy soft spot for a small fat skeleton. and lots of imagination.

this isn’t something for fontcest and frans shippers and gross ppl who villainize and misgender kids and call gay couples “hawt sin” tho. u guys are uglies and i hate you, go away. ;U

_________

“Sans” i deadpanned.

He perked up a little, his forever-fucking-smiling expression mirroring my tone -with his eyes. Eyes’ sockets. Those were the only hints of what he was actually thinking. Because his fake smile -fake, i’m so sure of it, so fake smile, it only ever dropped when Frisk’s puppeted body struck him down, the very only moment he stopped- wow getting sidetracked. Anyway.

“Sans.” i repeated. i need to repeat myself a lot. Verbal dyspraxia i think. He didn’t seem to know that and squinted a bit more, indication of his annoyance/suspicion/mistrust/wariness. ‘s what his squinting usually means, directed at me. Can’t blame him. “i…” Truth is, i don’t actually know what to tell him. ‘s just. i love him, and i know it sounds crass and misplaced blurted out like this, but as a consequence, i’m worried about him. A lot. Constantly. i hope bpd isn’t blurring my judgement too much. ‘m not sure he does take care of himself as well as he deserve. And look who’s talking, right ? But he is surrounded by loving friends and family. And has his brother. He could get help. Good help.

Damn my hesitance was making him unnerved. I could see it in how he turned to me, bone hands switching in and out of his pockets. I only hugged myself tighter, hands vaguely gesturing.

“i… Could i offer you to crash on my couch sometimes ? Or bed even, i don’t use mine a lot, actually. Since it’s, y’know, closer to a good part of your odd jobs than your house and Papyrus isn’t home then ?” Dang that was weirder out loud. i kept a blank face to show i was serious. i was- the guy looked even more tired than me. Tells something.

“uh. kid, you got something going in the back of your mind ?” Damn he took me too seriously. Squinting hard at me now, he was the perfect studied statue of calm judgement. Damn he was good at those.

“Well, safe from letting you get a good deserved rest more easily, not much !!” i made sure to answer jovially, doing the whole ‘punching the air round and low in excitement’ thing. We could be two playing the happy clown game.

i had found him at Grillby’s, like usual. his food was getting cold. like usual too. what was less usual was the tense manner he held himself when i came in, and how he “straightened” up, like he had forgotten himself, when i greeted him, pat on the shoulder. he would have flinched but he wouldn’t have wanted me onto him about it. so his eye socket had violently twitched -violently as in, noticeably, by his standards, and...uh lost myself again, fuck.

What i mean is that he was having a harsh day, probably after a harsher even night, his ptsd acting up (‘m not supposed to know ‘bout that. He himself doesn’t even know it. i just read. and relate), and i wanted to help him. now, maybe i had been presumptuous thinking i could…

So that’s why i insisted, vigorously,

“And uh-we can watch some trash movies and stuff, anytime, and like you can just stop by during your in-between shifts, even if i’m not home, i’ll give you a spare key and-” sudden stop. oh no. He gave me The Hand.

He indeed did, holding it up, like he wanted me to slow down. i did, obviously, but uh. did that mean i was overwhelming him, or annoying ? Was there a difference ?? Did it matter ???

Not now, because he was talking, and internal anxiety mini attack made me split focus, and i wanted full focus on what he said, on him.

“look kid,” i hate he calls me that “i appreciate whatchu tryin to do here” meh.liar. spill it. “but i can’t accept. paps would be upset if he knew i was squatting-”

“No he wouldn’t !! He would call it ‘GREAT FRIENDLY HANGOUTS OF REST’ and be very happy we uuh spend time together and stuff-”

“ok” glaring at me now, probably pissed i used his bro’s good nature to shot down his excuse. Heh. Two play at that game. “but here’s the thing.” he advanced himself up to me, nearly out of his seat. i held my ground. uh oh. “we a r e n’t f r i e n d s.”

Ouch. i mean i knew this but. Ouch. His eyes hadn’t blacked out on that last part, but nearly, too. Could be that his already hazy eyelights had just dimmed in exasperation but um. That didn’t feel any better. i gulped. Just a little. Just to keep down the new forming clog in my throat. Just a little one. i knew this.

“i know this !! but look, we could be, if we hanged out !” i didn’t dare say more. My eyes stung a lil bit too much for my liking and while never embarrassed by my tears, didn’t want to embarrass him.

‘s not like i was seriously hurt. i knew where we stood, and that my crush was going to stay that, a crush. what really stung was the utter lack of trust and the hatred-like suspicion he had of me. that and also feeling like i’m watching someone drown, but can’t help, because when i reach out they swat me away in fear i would be the one pushing them further. That’s probably more of my saviour complex dramatizing everything, but it’s bad to be helpless when you know someone, and you’re the only one to notice where they’re headed, because they’re great at pretending, but it’s like looking at yourself in a mirror for you. Get me ?

But. That’s fair. We hadn’t started well off. At all. Oh boy we hadn’t…

___

Seems like now would be a good time to make a small recap, uh ? ‘bout how i ended up knowing that dude, falling in love, analysing his mental shit and all that jazz. Yeah.

me, some lame girl who won’t eat for days and forgo sleep just because, who doesn’t shave but my actual hair, doesn’t do makeup, who doesn’t smile when I’m told to and who grins for no apparent reason whenever a new daydream pops up, because i’m kind of stuck in my own head because it’s better in here. because of… trauma crap. i get by by drawing and playing games where i can just save everyone.

i don’t know if you get what i mean. i sorta hope you don’t. Because it hurts. But at the same time it’d be awesome if you did, because y a y let’s relate about crap !

Don’t know if it matters, too.

Could help to get a few friends. But being an asocial, asexual, kinda aromantic mess kinda throws that out of the window. You’d think so many A would get me higher in life eh heh heh heh heeeeeh… not funny. i’m not funny. My life is not funny. The way i react to it can be, though.

Like, that one time i was hanging out on my own, outside the bar i had first entered with classmates, as i tried to be less of a hermit, in a bar street and fled because i can't stand alcoholic jerks, and then saw this crowd of tough guys ejecting a small and stout person in a blue hoodie from said bar by fucking throwing a chair at them through the fucking window, and seeing that this little dude is a monster, and knowing they’re gonna get busted down to a puddle of dust by the mastodont looming over them if nobody intervenes ?

i reacted funny.

---

“Yoo-ou ffffffuking cunt, I-I’m gon’ mash you to the dirt yo motha shitted after getting fucked by yooour d-d-dog of a oold man-”

As he spits the words, an obviously very drunk dude stumbles closer and closer to the monster, his hands shaking like he wants to grip their head and smash it.

Freak it. This son of a bitch may be slurring like he drank the whole city, but he’s for sure all out to kill him ! Get up and run, little dude !

“c’mon man, “fucking cunt” , fun king or earl, it’s still a bit early to speak ‘bout mothers isn’t it?”

[i recognize him]

Pfft- what ? i snort loudly from my spot.

Okay, this is a gloriously bad, stretched pun -but now is not the time for goodness’ sake ! Run, dude, run -wait, is that a skeleton ?!

[i recognize him]

Oh my fuck, how dumb is that dude, going out in a popular bar at what-the-heck-hours in this stupid city ! There were shootings and assassination attempts on the monster gym leader not even two blocks away yesterday ! And you just go in there with a face that screams “LOOK AT ME” ?! Are you stupid or do you just lack of basic preservation instincts ?!

The brute keeps advancing, spouting shit, a sort of gang backing him up, toward mc comicbonedude, a guy i assume, given the voice, but with monsters you never know, gender’s a myth but not them- who’s still on the ground, backtracking, crawling with a grin it didn’t drop the whole time, is it stuck or something and doesn’t look like getting up holy crap he can’t get up, the more hatred a monster is confronted with the hardest it hits he must be low on hp or something he’s gonna get killed

[i recognize him]

mc comicbonedude cracks another joke or is it his ribs cracking under the viscious kick he just got he’s thrown nearer the spot i’m chilling in. Another kick. Nearer. They can't see me, i’m well hidden in the shadows. Another kick.

This time, mc comicbonedude gags out a pun about sole-ution to the problem being-

FUCK OFF!! a gun is being drawn out.

Screw this i’m not witnessing a murder, fucking racists fucking xenophobics fucking city full of fucking shitheads there are other people around here why isn’t anyone but i don’t want to die either that's how it is, eli, always strive for yourself.

i get up fast and sprint to the monster, screaming about cops and a monster attack and insults, anything to spark a bit of panic, deck a scrawny fucker the one who.was.going.to.shoot.him. and aim for the skeleton, who yells.

[i recognize him]

i grab him by the hood and run in some narrower streets, hearing yells after me, and the anxiety is building up a little too much for my usual adrenaline numbing spell to work-

i trip on some trash and my own feet -same difference, fall over, roll, get up that’s how you do it eli, hit and roll, but back on your feet. And keep running, holding the monster close to my chest he’s warm that means he’s still alive and ok, right, left, dodge the you whore you bitch get back here you bitch and the bullets yup i’m good at thiiiiiiis- a bullet still grazes my ankle, I stumble, nearly faceplant, and it hurts but like a sting and I’m still alive. The adrenaline keeps pumping and i feel so light, i sprint into a shabby alley, panting like a dog, i think i’m crying, and drool is mixing with it. i can feel the headache coming, and mc comicbonedude is heavy enough to slip in my arms why won’t he move ? Is he dead ? Is he in shock ?

[i recognize him]

i run to a staircase, you know, the rusty and slippery metal kind outside buildings for fire escape ? Exactly what i need, as the assholes keep firing at me, huh. I climb, to the top, jump to the next building am i really doing this as me for real and run. i don’t know if they’re still after us, my ears won’t stop ringing, and i can’t tell it apart from sirens. I’m on a four stories building running to save a skeleton who

who starts emitting blue and yellow light and what the hell is happening why am i floating holy fuck i’m two inches away to be totally out of not-looking-near-enough-at-all- concrete to fall on.

[i recognize him]

[*focus insufficient]

[*procedure fails]

He’s silent. Sprawled two meters away from where I’m hanging

h-how did i

Looking exhausted and furious, like a cornered dog who has already taken on a tiger in the past, and from his left pupil there’s a cyan blue and yellow flame ? crackling, or bubbling ? or is it just flashing. can’t tell eyes too blurry. and dark blue is surrounding me at my sternum is that monster magic it’s beautiful, did i get headshot i can’t thing straight no. i can’t breath. It’s holding me in place. i can’t breath properly. i try to call out for him, he’s just overreacting in an understandable alarm but

please don’t crunchy crush the goofy girl on the cracking hard ground but when I try, I look at his eyes. One is glowing a fiery but disturbed cyan and yellow, with shards of red here and there, and the other is blank dead. Black. i’m terrified. He pants and that’s the only sound for a while. He’s alive. Good. Am i going to still be alive after this ?

“DON’T DROP ME DON’T WANNA DIE DON’T KILL ME OKAY IT'S THE LAST TIME I’M HELPING OUT ANYONE I PROMISE I’M SORRY PLEASE DON’T KILL ME. DUDE PLEASE.”

“wha- ghh- !” He flinches like waking up. He lets go- lets go of meeee-

“AAAAAAAAAH NO !” He gasps and grasps again. i only slipped a meter into nothingness “Oh please please please i really don’t wanna die, and not falling, it looks like suicide i don’t do that i managed not to so don’t spoil it all ok i-”

“what- kid no stop r-”

“SO SORRY DON’T KILL ME DON’T-”

“ kiiiid please” he’s clutching at his skull now.

“PLEASE D-”

“shut. up”

Ok. Not talking.

Whimpering and sobbing a bit, but he better take this because i’m having an anxiety attack and it will escalate into a hyperventilation fit if he doesn't lower me on the ground and I can't calm down.

“Please don’t kill me.” blurts out anyway of my gritted teeth.

A white light bulb alights in his empty eyes socket, and the glow in the other dims. Could he not see me before ? Hey, is that a crack across his skull ? Augh that looks like it s t i n g s.

“ H-hey, there. You- ah, fffuck this hurts. You okay ?” i try.

Nothing. He stares at me, as if watching out for something. I can feel the power around me wavering. He needs to come to his senses before I go kiss the dirt.

“P-please don’t leave me hanging.” He snorts, but keeps scrutinizing me, shaking. ‘s like he’s half understanding the pun, half not there. Silent.

“Woah, that was bad, even for me; guess i’m just that high.” i attempt a feeble finger gun.

He holds back a laugh “pffft- what the hell, kid- oh fuck.” He starts, realizing what i’m hinting at. He drags me back to the ground. i still can't move, but breathing is easier. i whimper again -heck i’m surprised i didn't piss myself- and draw out a looong sigh.

Now we stare at each other awkwardly is not strong enough to cut it. And i observe, that i m may be sweaty, tired and teary, but he looks bad.

His skull is definitely cracked across his left eye, he won’t stop shaking, sweats profusely and seems to have troubles breathing so monsters skeletons breathe and pant. Ok. Do they cry too ? Cuz that weird red stuff oozing from his damaged eye doesn’t look like tears but that can’t be blood… right ?

He looks horrible, if only physically. But the way his eyes sway, with this grin I can’t find the reason for, it worries me more. Is he ... having an episode, or something ? i mean he could be and be totally inoffensive, but ? Was he the one attacking first back at the bar ? is he really having an episode of some sort ? i’m not too nice when i’m having an episode either.

Should i cry for help ? i can't budge from his grasp.

And i know i shouldn’t but i’m feeling an attack coming up- the restraint is triggering my ptsd ridden ass…..

Let me go y-you there c’mon i can’t take this not my shit nuh uh lemme go lemme go lemme go

“ lemme go…” woah not pathetic at all. “Let me go.” no reaction, try again “LET M-” i can’t move my mouth.

The pressure fucktupled, and it’s like my lungs and my muscles are being crushed.

“ok buddy, pal, chum, whoever you are, what the fuck ?”

i can’t answer you, you dumbfuck you just muted me

“i mean, nice save and all. thanks i guess. but who the heck and what on earth are you up to ?” both of his eyes went black oh my god what did i do to your highness Hecate like seriously now how did i end in such a mess.

“H-how about we both calm down first, and talk next ?” i seem to break through the mute. ok good, deep breaths, count backward from ninety to zero, relax, we’re both freaking out, he’s as spooked as you-which is funny cuz he’s the skeleton- focus on breathing.

Still no answer. “Look, i, i get it, bad freak out, i interrupted you back there, i get you’re fucked up-” nothing but his eyes narrowing “ but i’m cool. Swear i am. i’m cold and m’name is uidelsib. you can call me sib ! Cool enough ?”

i extend my hand, ready to give him a strong good ole handshake, but he doesn’t take up on it.

Instead he stays frozen, “Not cool, dude,” hand still extended, but lowered, as if he could grab me again “ r e a l l y not cool,” i insist, and his bones are, he’s. shaking ? Yeah. Shivering violently, like he’s super cold too, which is pretty normal given he’s what. Up with me on a high building, one, two hundred meters in the sky, exposed to the icy wind ? Figures.

His bones are making this clattering clickety sound, stresses me out damn. He’s studying me. But it’s also like he can’t focus. Shivering too much. Shock, probably. His eye socket’s still oozing that red shit. Not thick enough to be blood, and too scarletish, but what do i know ‘bout monsters.

[oh, what do i don’t]

He takes a step toward me.

“ not fucking cool, not in the least-” i let out, jaw still clenched.

His bones rattles one last time, on the cement ground. His knees buckled under him the next moment he moved. His arms couldn’t support him.

i approach him, concerned. Once the pursuit’s adrenaline and the near death experience done with, my mind is settling, and i can think more clearly. He, on the other hand…

He stirs as i come closer. Tries to growl something i can’t decipher, but it comes out as a whimper, pained. My heart constricts in my ribs. Fuck, i hadn’t meant shit to go down like that. i seem to have a talent to fuck up, but i only wanted to help.

i tell him that. He grunts, doesn’t acknowledges me further, and quivers as he tries to stand up. He can’t though. I see it from where i am, he shakes enough to make a dr.pepper bursts.

i snort at the image, a skeleton shaking a bottle fixed on his spine, then flies away with the pressure- w o w i’m gone far. Need a bed. Asap. Concentrate on the situation at hand.

He, though, doesn’t react well to my laughter. He immediately stiffens, and

goes slack. Unmoving on the ground. He fainted ? i go on a hunch and inch closer, on the tip of my toes, hunched over myself, because i can’t tell if he’s dead or if i’m going to be.

[i recogni-- --- [REDACTED]]

i shake my head furiously. i can’t let those thoughts take my attention away from what’s taking place here and now.

i’m close enough now. something like a meter away, i can see him still shivering, and hear him rasp some breaths out. So he can breathe-

[i knew tha- [REDACTED]]

Not Now. i need to focus, i got a seemingly dying monster mere steps away from me.

i crouch down, slowly. My leg muscles burn enough i’m trembling too and i’m pretty sure my teeth are chattering, the noise mingling with his bones against the asphalt.

He’s still face down, arms limp on his sides, and i spy his eyelights peeking at me, way less sharp than when he had me pinned in the air just. one minute ago ?

i creep closer, he tenses, i stop.

“You’re ok.” i whisper. “We’re ok and we’re leaving.” i try to keep my voice from wavering but meh. ‘s not like there’s much face to save, for both of us.

i reach my hand toward him. He doesn’t move. i put it on his back, barely pressing, he tenses. And then disappears with a ping.

[ (*did you think i was going to stay here and t--- -- -) [REDACTED]]

NOT NOW I SAID. GE E. WHERE DID HE Go ?

He’s back right where he was. He basically just blinked in and out of existence. And he’s looking even more exhausted, if that’s possible, sweating bullets and heaving noisily, before he quiets himself. He’s also glaring at me, but meekly, and i’m not too scared anymore to be honest. He looks more frustrated than anything, although i can guess he’s actually scared to death. HAH.

“Hey you’re ok, i said, i just. Need to get us somewhere safe. Yeah. Not here.” i croak out. i’m starting to feel the freezing wind more, too. i can’t afford to stall and give him time to think. i can still hear the sirens. They’re looking for someone. And i don’t want the police on my back, even if i didn’t do anything reprehensible in the end.

So i slide my hands under him, still making sure i don’t touch any possible sensitive areas, and decide to go for the armpits, and hey i might get a tickle out of him ! ...ahah no. As i try to heave him up on his… surprisingly tiny feet ? did he lose his shoes or. Whatever. He just stays as silent as he is limp. And boy is he limp as a rock. Not quite as heavy though, good.

“You’re lighter than you look-” might as well try to make some conversation “and uh, can you walk ?” Or at least i can try to fill the heavy silence. Let’s just forget the “tried to kill you” thing. We’re both in deep crap anyway, and i can understand having baggage.

He really won’t walk though. He barely makes a sound too. If i hadn’t heard him sooner i’d think he can’t talk or something. i barely get a grunt out of him as i put him on my hip, which isn’t hard given he’s like. Half my size. Fun sized boney menace.

And i begin to trudge down the stairs- not the ones i came from, i don’t want to get caught if the cops are back there and it’s too far anyways. i want a bed. Now. A lone pillow would do.

He doesn’t seem much different, dangling on my side barely sparing me a glare as i look down at him, checking if he’s not dusting yet. He stopped “bleeding” at least. He still got that nasty huge scar.

i can feel him staring when i’m not looking. He’s still wary. Probably only lets me pull this only because he can’t not. Heh, at least he doesn’t seem to mind that i’m carrying him like you’d do a toddler. i just, need my other arm to grip and grab at the staircase bars when i slip.

Nah he looks more disgusted to be touching me than anything. Everytimes we get into more contact, because i’m bumping a wall or stumbling on my own feet again, i can distinctly feel him shudder, and try to get away. It’s just a little distracting, and unbalancing, and a lil tidbit hurtful. But i can’t blame him. i’d be throwing a fucking fuss and dishing fists if our places switched.

At least it’s relatively calm. We didn’t meet anyone, maybe a few rats rummaging garbage, and some monsters hurrying home, Whimsuns i think ? No one that paid us any mind at least.

So we’re still walking slowly when rain hits us hard, and nearly sends me on my ass. Doesn’t help the shivering, but now it’ll clean the streets out for sure. It’s something past midnight, i don’t wanna find anyone out at this hour.

But i’d kinda appreciate finding my way to somewhere because

“Aaaaaaaaaaa a h ahhh i got no idea the fuck i’m g-going…” Ah fuck. i said that out loud. And now my passenger's giving me his best ‘are u fuckin kiddin me’ stare. He’s. Very unamused.

“L-look, this isn’t, this isn’t my part of the city, okay?? i’m- i’m tryin’ to g-get us to the monster neighbourhoods, but i don’t know the fuck where it is, alright ?!” My tone escalates with my pitch, and i nearly slip again as he flinches away from me. Damn it, not helping eli, still in an episode or something. Don’t yell.

“Y-y-yeeah okay, look. ‘m sorry i cried but i’m in shock and still lost, kay? S-so maybe help or som’thin’ ?” Indications would help yeah. And now he’s listening, he’s also less shaky and putting his weight on me in a way that hinders our progression less. Good.

He nods. Good.

“Good. Gooood good good good.” i’m on autopilot now, following the skeleton’s grunted directions. i take a few wrong turns every now and then, but what can you do with nonverbal advice, and we end up in a part of the city i recognize, because i’ve seen it on tv and wanted to come look around anyway.

The gym stadium. A big building, at least big for a monster building, given the prices get surprisingly higher when they’re buying, stylized like a Japanese dojo, with anime advertisement posters (whether for the dojo or the animes i got no ideas) on the walls and- oh my gosh are those- fish, dolphin, shark and starfish stickers on the windows.

“Perfect !” i half yell, significantly lighting up. Mc comicbonedude looks at me like i’ve grown a second head, and i give him a big manic smile, obviously stressed out. My right eye might be twitching a little too. Does that when i’m under pressure. He decides to go back to slumping against me and questioning his life choices, and i take that as an ‘okay GO’ to proceed with my genius only just made up plan.

i march up quickly, -i want this DONE WITH. NEXT TIME i GO ON AN IMPROMPTU RESCUE MISSION I’M TAKING MY LEAD UMBRELLA AND A CHANGE OF CLOTHING- to the tall doors, who thanks fucking gods are under a porch, that saves us from being drenched anymore, and pound it with all i got.

“OI BLUE WATER GAL ! OPEN UP!!! I KNOW YOU’RE STILL WORKING, YOU ALWAYS BRAG ABOUT NOT SLEEPING AND PROVIDING A 19/24H SERVICE ON TV!!! OPEN UUUPP!! B I T C H! OPEN!!UP!!”

Skeleton is googly eyeing me like the second head i’ve definitely grown started reciting the ten commandments to belzebuth themselves,

[and he’s not too far off]

but i don’t care my dude i am d o n e. If i get welcomed with a fist to the face i don’t give a diggly doogly dang fuck so long i can get inside and lay down. Even on the cold ass tile floor. i’m don-

“OI PUNK, WHAT’S UP WITH THAT RUCKUS ?? YOU TRYING TO PICK A DUEL WITH ME ? CUT IT OUT UNLESS YOU WANT A POUNDING COMPETITION FUFUFUFUFUFUH~ I’M OFFERING THOUGH !”

Ah, right, i’m still hitting that door. Ouch, that’s gonna swell. Oh welp.

But the voice came from...up?

i step backward some, under the rain, ugh, and look up to see, yup, a noodly armed blue fish person with bright scarlet red hair pulled up in a bun, all sweaty, a poor guy in a chokehold, peeking out of the second floor window, taking in the pouring rain with gusto. A gigantic lightning bolt, quickly followed by loud ass thunder, comes to compliment her boisterous apparition, and she grins- smirks? wide locking her single eye on me, the lighting making her golden teeth flash.

She comes down to greet my miserable form fast, not taking the stairs, but jumping out of the window (much more graciously than mc comicbonedude previously), having let go of her victim- sparring partner previously, good gods, and lands at my feet like nobody’s business, to then bolt up, eager to see the intruder to her night sessions.

And Undyne, former Captain of the Royal Guard of Monsterkind Underground, all steel like blue scales, glinting golden slitted eye and sharp mouth, now renowned Master of Fights in her stadium, among monsters and humans even more, already black belt of more martial arts than i know of, and fresh survivor of one of the biggest terrorist hits on monsters yet, is staring me down, from her easy two meters height, like i’m her next meal.

i gulp. i’m so fucked.

i’m so fucked and not just for the fact that i am royally gay and all, but also cuz…

[i recognize her]

[she was so hard to f---- [REDACTED]]

[couldn’t figure out that all we had to do was to run and then ---- -- ------- [REDACTED]]

“Uh ?” Her gaze has finally caught on my now bundled up passenger, who’s shivering in cold rather than fear, on my hip, who only lazily grins a

“sup”

“YO SANS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THIS WIMPY HUMAN AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT ?? AND Y’ALL ARE SOAKED !! GET INSIDE, NERDS !!!”

[i know him]

i follow hollowly the orders and get inside, feel a weight leave my side-kinda miss that already, to then feel a big fluffy towel drape over me. Then i sit down. In the hall on the ground, probably. Wooden floor is in my direct line vision. Uh. Thing is well taken care of, all waxed and clear, who would have guessed.

[i know them both. very well actually]

[Chara would be nervously giggling if they were here]

[wonder what they’re up to]

[and Frisk too, obviously]

[what about Flowey though. no idea what the lil shit is up to in pacifist endings]

i’m so f UCK E D.

---

Aaaand that’s how i ended up rocking back and forth in Undyne’s dojo’s main hall for half of the night, muttering about video games and fucking witchcraft gone wrong again and shit fuck damnit, i guess it was denial all along those last two, six months ? And oOH WELP, guess i did cradle like a toddler my fictional crush for the last, what, half hour ? Whoopsies.

Hhhhhhhh

fuck that ink witch status, that was not planned.

___

When i finish my flashback, and it’s been something like six months again since, got to “meet” his super cool great bro, not on his account though, Undyne just had to introduce Papsy to the dweeb that “saved his big brother” and also Asgore, Toriel, for a quick ‘thanks you’, even a small interview with Mettaton, that made a hit on the Undernet, and mingled a bit with monsters- i’m friend with Chesty Brun now (Burgerpants), and Alphys, because we’re following the same mangas-

he’s already gone, burger nearly untouched, ketchup covered fries half eaten and drink finished, and i’m tempted to ask Grillby, who is hovering close behind his bar, fretting a little, in front of my frozen form, if “you’re gon throw that out ? sure i can’t finish ?” Because it’d be a real shame to let all that delicious grub go to waste. But that’d be creepy as fuck, even moreso taking my feelings for the small dude, and his against me, so i don’t, and he’ll probably feed it to his pet lava rock anyway, so i stop hugging myself and rocking back and forth and go back to my seat, waving him off with a sorry smile, and go back to sullenly sipping my vanilla milkshake.

Can’t blame Sans.

He’s cautious. Understandable.

i know what he’s had to put up with.

[and so do all of you]

[dirty brother killers ?]

[i hope not]

[i really wonder how’s Chara doing…]

AAAAAAAaaaaaaah how do i turn this shit off ?? Let me pretend i’m normal in a normal situation stupid brain thing !!

...ah. screw it. this magic milkshake is fabulous. That’s totally what i’m crying about.

“Don’t worry Grillby.”

_______________

ye don’t worry my dudes. can i call y’all that ? ‘s gender neutral. ‘m a demi girl, and you can call me “my dude”, my dudes. wow what a bull of crap i pulled here, sorry trans girls and enbies

this isn’t beta read cuz i’m on my own and english isn’t my native language, i’m french, so plz forgive mistakes.

i had some drafts lying around my google docs for a year now, mostly about bugging and kissing snas, put them together and thought i’d do an actual Thing with it all. this isn’t good, i know it.

lest to say i have no idea what i’m doing !

and don’t know when this’ll update, it it does. i had the motivation to finish this cuz there was no clients at the restaurant i worked at back in july. blah blah blebs blah.

#/witchcraft #/unsanitary #/c slur #/physical assault #/alcohol #/hate crime #/racism #/panic attack #Know & Determinate: II- the surface and a lame witch #uidelsibwrites #old art

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moczothe1st · 8 years

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Days of Our Dragon Age: Episode 27: Elves Amongst the Autumn Leaves

[SCENE: The WILDERNESS, over the bodies of about eight DEAD ASSASSINS.]

BLAKE: So, about your murder issues.

LELIANA: They aren’t my murder issues. Zey are my ex-girlfriend’s. She’s very passionate.

BLAKE: How did you even date a spy? I thought you were a nun!

LELIANA: Well. I’m a nun now. But as wiz all nuns, I was once a spy and assassin.

BLAKE: … … … All nuns?

LELIANA: A possible exaggeration, but, I like to zink so. It would explain how they’re all so sexy.

BLAKE: Huh. Well, okay, I’ll allow it. And now we can just go find your ex and kill her, and solve everyone’s problems all at once.

LELIANA: How does that solve everyone’s problems?

BLAKE: It solves your problem of being stalked by a crazy woman, and my problem of being angry at the whole world. Besides, I suspect she’s not gonna just leave us alone, and the last thing we need is more assassins around.

ZEVRAN: ‘Allo.

BLAKE: … Someone is right behind me, huh.

LELIANA: Oui.

BLAKE: Assassin?

ZEVRAN: Oh my, yes.

BLAKE: [SIGHS]

[SCENE: STILL the WILDERNESS, over the bodies of about sixteen DEAD ASSASSINS and one LIVING ONE.]

ZEVRAN: Oh my. You fight so beautifully, my dear, I find myself smitten. Also wounded about the head and shoulders.

BLAKE: Yeah, that was from me hitting you. Now, you wanna tell me who you are and who hired you, or do I go back to doing that?

ZEVRAN: I am Zevran, of the Antivan Crrrrows.

[The way he says CROWS is just FUN to LISTEN TO.]

BLAKE: Oh my.

ZEVRAN: I was hired by a most dour man named Loghain, who hired the Crrrrows, to hunt the Warden who survived Ostagar. [PAUSE.] Antivan Crrrrows.

[It’s the LITTLE ROLL to the R that DOES IT.]

BLAKE: Okay, we have to take him with us.

LELIANA and ALISTAIR: What.

BLAKE: I’m sorry. He’s just too handsome not to.

ALISTAIR: He’s an assassin!

BLAKE: And very handsome. Like, why did nobody warn me he would be so handsome?

LELIANA: I thought you were gay. You always pick me over Alistair in things.

BLAKE: Oh, nah, all Bioware main characters are bisexual these days. I just don’t like Alistair, specifically.

ALISTAIR: I love you too.

BLAKE: Besides, I think Zevran would be attractive no matter what my sexual preference is. His hair is like a river of gold.

[That’s actually pretty much TRUE.]

ALISTAIR: Well, I’m not attracted to him.

ZEVRAN: [With a DEVIL MAY CARE SMIRK] Yes you are.

ALISTAIR: What? No I’m-

ZEVRAN: Antivan Crrrrows.

ALISTAIR: … Dammit, he’s right.

ZEVRAN: So, I am now on your team. As well I should be. Tell me, what is our first mission together? To save the world? To fight the spawn of darkness?

BLAKE: Actually, we’re on our way to kill Leliana’s ex-girlfriend.

ZEVRAN: … You are far less heroic than I initially assumed.

BLAKE: You want me to leave you here?

ZEVRAN: Antivan Crrrrrrrrows.

BLAKE: Dammit.

[SCENE: DENERIM, capital city of FERELDEN. Population: 25% BANDITS, 25% BLOOD MAGES, 25% CORRUPT NOBLES, 24% PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST JERKS, 1% OPPRESSED ELVES. But it’s OKAY, because that awesome BLACKSMITH lives here and the DWARF MERCHANT is voiced by STEVE BLUM.]

[Int. the house of a HORRIBLE BITCH.]

THE ONLY ORLESIAN IN THIS GAME WORSE THAN ISOLDE: Ah, Leliana. My lovely leetle girl, returned to me at long last.

LELIANA: Marjolaine! Ze dark secrets of my past have come to haunt me at long last!

MARJOLAINE: No, zee, I said ‘at long last’ first, so you cannot end your sentence wiz ze same phrase. It is clunky. Zat is why I was always ze leader, and you always ze puppet in my hands.

LELIANA: You monster.

MARJOLAINE: But now, you ‘ave come to me. And I… will leave.

BLAKE: What.

MARJOLAINE: Well, I mean, I wanted to kill Leliana, sure, but it wasn’t personal. Just that she survived that time I framed her for treason and left her to be tortured and killed, and ever since then I’ve watched her like a hawk for the moment she did anything which even remotely suggested she was out for vengeance. But that shouldn’t suggest I don’t like her. Just that by doing something which implied she remembers me—which I am choosing to define as ‘moving out of her old living quarters’—while in the middle of a giant war against hordes of plague-ridden hell orcs, I need to have her killed. Because I am ze center of ze universe, and she ‘as no reason to do anything that isn’t directly related to me.

BLAKE: …………………….. [Very QUIETLY turns to LELIANA.] You used to date her?

LELIANA: [COUGHS] She is… very pretty.

BLAKE: Yes. You know what else is pretty? Poisonous snakes. I wouldn’t wanna date one of them.

LELIANA: I was young!

BLAKE: Were you five? Because that’s the main reason I can think of to be taken in by this woman. Being literally too young to understand the concept of death, which she will inevitably bring to anyone she associates with.

LELIANA: Look, you know how it is. You’re just out of spy school, you meet a sexy older woman, she talks you into bed and teaches you positions you didn’t know existed, and the next thing you know you’re in Tevinter, killing a man.

BLAKE: I don’t know how that is at all. That doesn’t sound remotely like any school experience I ever had.

LELIANA: We clearly went to very different universities. It was all ze rage at Bard Tech.

BLAKE: That isn’t a real school.

LELIANA: Sure it is! Go Fighting Songbirds!

MARJOLAINE: A-hem. Why are none of you noticing me? Ze important one?

BLAKE: You know, we’re here to kill you. You probably shouldn’t be trying to grab our attention.

MARJOLAINE: Bwahahahaha… you don’t even know, do you? I am, like Leliana, trained as a great Orlesian bard! I can sing deadly magical songs which empower me and ‘arm my foes.

BLAKE: … So? If Leliana’s bard singing was any good, I’d probably have mentioned it before now. Frankly, at this point I’m just glad you’re not claiming to be my evil twin Raoul.

MARJOLAINE: How did you know about Raoul?! I thought he was long dead! Unless… gasp! Do I have… amnesia?!

BLAKE: Why do I say things.

MARJOLAINE: But it matters not! For now, you’ll face the deadliest power of all, the elegant, mystical song of a bard, musical notes which can ensnare ze senses and bewitch ze soul! [Takes a DEEP BREATH, preparing her PERFECTLY TUNED vocal chords to cast out a BEAUTIFUL SONG which would MYSTICALLY PARALYZE all who OPPOSE HER.] YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHONK.

BLAKE: The Hell is that?!

LELIANA: Gasp! It is ze deadly Captivating Song, ze mightiest power of ze bard! She will stun us all wiz each note she sings!

ALISTAIR: I actually don’t feel stunned.

ZEVRAN: Is she doing it right? She kind of just threw back her head and screamed.

MARJOLAINE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHONK.

MORRIGAN: I didn’t realize there were people who could sing worse than Leliana.

LELIANA: I am a wonderful singer. And it isn’t a perfect song, you know! It only has a chance to stun people who hear it. I guess she’s gotten pretty unlucky so far.

WYNNE: Oh! Oh, I feel a bit stunned. [SITS DOWN]

LELIANA: You see? Terrifying.

MARJOLAINE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHONK.

MORRIGAN: Are we certain it wasn’t just Wynne being a wizened crone? She is quite ancient.

LELIANA: It was ze terrifying song, dammit. Wynne was stunned, making her unable to face Marjolaine’s horrible assaults.

BLAKE: She isn’t making any assaults, Leliana. She’s just… ‘singing’.

LELIANA: [COUGH] Well. Yes. While using zis song, you cannot so much… move. Or attack. Or do anyzing at all but sing more.

MARJOLAINE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHONK.

BLAKE: Okay. Um. So she has a random chance to temporarily stun us, but she can’t do anything about it. I… am I the only one who sees the flaw in this tactic?

DOG: Woof, woof.

STEN: I do not know what this dog said about this ‘strategy,’ but the very fact the dog is the one who said it is a deeper condemnation than anything I could possibly offer.

MARJOLAINE: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG-[STABBED]

[SCENE: CAMP. It is roughly 1:30 in the AFTERNOON, which is NIGHT.]

LELIANA: So. Errrm.

BLAKE: You wanna explain all of… that?

LELIANA: I wasn’t going to say anything, actually. I guess I was hoping you’d just forget about it.

BLAKE: It was pretty memorable.

LELIANA: Well, you know how I’m a bard? And bards are spies in my home country of Fantasy France? And I was a spy, and Marjolaine was my spy master and we were also lovers, and then she betrayed me and left me to be tortured for her crimes?

BLAKE: Yes, thank you, I worked that much out.

LELIANA: Well, I was thinking I kind of miss the spying, which is what I assume you were going to ask about.

BLAKE: I… no, that’s… not really what I was going to ask about. I was going to ask why anyone would possibly every sleep with that psychotic weirdo.

LELIANA: Do you think I should be a spy again? Or go back to being a nun?

[This is what is known as a MORAL CHOICE. BLAKE will have to make SEVERAL of these on her JOURNEY, and they MAY or MAY NOT have LASTING EFFECTS. It is HIGHLY IMPORTANT that such decisions be approached with TACT and DIGNITY, because by choosing to ENCOURAGE one’s party members to be LESS MORAL, or ‘HARDENING’ them, you GREATLY AFFECT their CHARACTER GROWTH. BLAKE considered ALL OF THIS.]

BLAKE: … …. … Well, which option will eventually lead to you, me, Zevran, and a beautiful pirate queen having a crazy four-way in a filthy brothel?

LELIANA: Guess.

[And then, LELIANA was HARDENED.]

BLAKE: All right, everyone. Life has finally improved for me, so I’m feeling industrious. Who wants to do a main quest?

ALISTAIR: I love you.

ZEVRAN: My mother died when I was a child and I was taken as a slave by assassins. [DRAMATIC ORGAN PLAYS]

BLAKE: Not letting it get me down!

[SCENE: The BRAY… BREE… BRAEKIL… … … The ELF FOREST, DALISH CAMP, ext. Overall Mood: LYCANTHROPIC.]

BLAKE: So, Alistair.

ALISTAIR: Yes, snuggle-buns?

BLAKE: Stop that. We have three Grey Warden treaties to use, right? Mages, elves, and dwarves.

ALISTAIR: You deliver exposition so beautifully.

BLAKE: The thing is, we only saved like ten mages.

WYNNE: Nine, if you don’t count the one from the foyer who has decided she’s a sin against the Maker. And let’s be honest, you shouldn’t.

MORRIGAN: You shouldn’t count any of them.

WYNNE: Don’t make me come over there, young lady.

MORRIGAN: [Muttered] Don’t make… me come over there. You… old person.

BLAKE: My point. Is that our first army wasn’t quite up to snuff. And now I look at our second army…

[There are about FORTY elves. Maybe HALF of them can WALK. The rest are on the GROUND, wrapped in BLOODY BANDAGES and WRITHING IN AGONY.]

BLAKE: … and I gotta say, I see a similar problem.

ALISTAIR: We’ll always have Arl Eamon.

BLAKE: You swore you would stop talking about that if we went there first.

ALISTAIR: I may have been dishonest.

ELF GUARD: Halt, humans! You intrude upon the lands of the Dalish Elves! Our mighty armies shall cut you down should you take a step further toward our refuge!

BLAKE: … There are three of you. And seven of us.

DOG: Bark!

BLAKE: I know it’s actually eight. Don’t worry, I was counting you as one of the seven. Alistair is the one I was skipping.

ALISTAIR: I love you too.

ELF GUARD: … Okay, actually, I think you aren’t a threat anyway. Um, what’s up?

BLAKE: We’re technically Grey Wardens, and there’s a whole darkspawn situation. We were hoping to recruit your, um, ‘mighty army.’

ELF GUARD: [GLANCES back at the COUNTLESS WOUNDED.] It is mighty, you know.

BLAKE: Uh-huh.

ELF GUARD: Having a bit of an off-day, maybe, but really quite mighty when you get to know it.

BLAKE: I’m sure.

ELF GUARD: Technically it will be even mightier soon, though a bit less, you know, controllable. And possibly furrier.

BLAKE: … Explain?

ELF GUARD: I don’t know. You’d have to talk to Zethrian, and he doesn’t really like strangers. Or humans. Actually just humans. Really not a human enthusiast.

ZEVRAN: Ah-hem.

ELF GUARD: …. … … … Oh my.

ZEVRAN: Do I even have to say it?

ELF GUARD: Well. Um. You don’t have to, but… could you?

ZEVRAN: Antivan Crrrrrows.

ELF GUARD: [SHUDDER] So, you can come. [PAUSE] Come in. You can come in. To camp. I mean, you can… if you want to, I….

ZEVRAN: Everrrry time, baby.

TALL, BALD, AND ANGRY: Greetings, Grey Warden. I am Zathrian, the leader of this band of Dalish elves, the last free elves on this world. I welcome you, though you are an inferior human animal little better than a rabid possum dying alone on a rotting log, bloated with disease and maggots crawling through its putrid flesh.

BLAKE: I sense some animosity.

ZATHRIAN: You probably imagined that. Tell me, what can the Dalish do for you? We have little to give that your warlike monster-species has not already stolen from us, carving it from the blood of our helpless youths as you spread across this continent like a plague.

BLAKE: I… had a, like… treaty, to ask for your army to help us. You know, because Darkspawn. I’m a Grey Warden, and all.

ALISTAIR: And she’s far more beautiful than any possum.

ZATHRIAN: Well, I would be pleased to offer my help to the Grey Wardens. I can offer you a mighty Dalish army of nearly fifty soldiers.

BLAKE: … … … I feel like I didn’t advertise the threat properly. You see, there are quite a lot of Darkspawn. I want to say a great horde in the tens of thousands. And fifty elves is… well. Fifty. I can count to fifty. I won’t take me very long. Fifty seconds, in fact. I don’t believe I can count to tens of thousands.

MORRIGAN: Alistair can’t count to fifty.

BLAKE: Thank you for your help, Morrigan. You’re a good person.

MORRIGAN: Still plotting against you.

BLAKE: Hush. Anyway, Zethrian, I’m hoping you see the, well, the issue here. Tens of thousands. Fifty. Numbers don’t add up.

ZATHRIAN: Well. That’s good, because fifty soldiers was actually not the number I can provide at this time.

BLAKE: … You’re about to say you can’t give us any, huh.

ZATHRIAN: It isn’t our fault.

BLAKE: I’m still going to blame you.

ZATHRIAN: Look, we were walking through this forest on our way to be elves, and we were suddenly attacked by werewolves. They’ve killed many of our people and infected others with their filthy, human disease.

ALISTAIR: Why did you call it a ‘human’ disease if they’re wolves?

BLAKE: … Alistair, that was oddly insightful of you.

ALISTAIR: I love you too, schmoopy-schmoo.

ZATHRIAN: Look, it’s just an assumption. Because humans are, much like dogs, filthy flea-bitten mongrels that should all be killed. [PAUSE.] It isn’t as though I have some sort of dark secret. [DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS.]

BLAKE: I’m going to stab you in the face, you motherf-

WYNNE: She means we’d be happy to help.

BLAKE: Do I, though?!

WYNNE: [FIRMLY] You do , young lady.

BLAKE: [MUTTERED] … You do… old… person.

ZATHRIAN: Very well. You must go into the woods filled with werewolves and kill the great white wolf Witherfang, the source of the lycanthropic curse. You will not ask how I know this.

BLAKE: I feel we should ask.

ZATHRIAN: I feel you should shut up. My First, Lanaya, will tell you more and give you access to the amazing gear of the Dalish, which will most certainly not be outclassed before you even reach it. Go forth, and if you must die to save my people, please feel free. In fact, you could maybe try to die even if you don’t have to.

MORRIGAN: He seems nice.

[SCENE: The DALISH CAMP, slightly off to the LEFT. This probably didn’t merit a SCENE CHANGE.]

LANAYA: So, I understand if you don’t feel super welcome. But it’s okay. I’m here to tell you a story that will make you feel very bad, and then direct you at some sidequests.

BLAKE: … Yay?

LANAYA: I was kidnapped by bandits as a child. They killed my parents, turned me into the helpless slave and plaything of their vile lusts. I was trapped for years, tormented and degraded. It was only through the sheerest luck that I was eventually saved by these Dalish elves, who then looked down on me for years until I clawed my way up to this position of authority through sheer determination and raw competence.

[The SILENCE that follows this STORY could be CUT WITH A KNIFE.]

ZEVRAN: So are you going to be a party member? Because a backstory that awful actually makes me think ‘party member.’

BLAKE: Zevran!

ZEVRAN: What?

BLAKE: Too soon!

ZEVRAN: I was a slave too. There was some very inappropriate things going on. Morrigan was kidnapped as a child…

MORRIGAN: I also have a dark secret. [DRAMATIC ORGAN PLAYS]

ZEVRAN: Alistair has never been loved by one single person in his entire life…

ALISTAIR: Except my huggy-wuggy-snuggy-bunny.

ZEVRAN: Leliana, well, we just covered the torture and rape and betrayal, and let’s be honest, she can’t sing either.

LELIANA: I am ze great singer.

ZEVRAN: And Wynne…

WYNNE: Is a normal woman with no personal issues and no dark secrets. So stop asking questions.

ZEVRAN: Yes, that.

BLAKE: You know, he actually has a point. She kind of is party-member material. Lanaya, want to join u-

[LANAYA, being far more SENSIBLE than most people, is LONG GONE.]

BLAKE: Oh, let’s just go save the stupid elves from the stupid werewolves.

DOG: Bark bark!

BLAKE: Yeah, you say that now.

[SCENE: BRAKA-LIECIAN FOREST, deep in the WOODS, ext. Mood: WOODSLY.]

CRAZY WIZARD: Whee hee hee hee! I live out in the woods and play riddle games with passerby! The only hope you have to reach the temple at the center of this forest is to defeat me in a [STABBED]

LELIANA: … Wasn’t that a bit extreme?

BLAKE: I’m sorry, but this is a forest full of werewolves and for some reason the trees come alive and attack too. I’m in a hurry and I’m going to stab anyone who tries to slow me down.

MORRIGAN: If you were a man, I would be all over you right now.

STEN: Wait, Blake is female?

BLAKE: Are you slowing me down, friends?

ALISTAIR: I’m not. I’m helping us progress by clearing out the magical wards upon these nearby graves so they don’t produce a problem.

BLAKE: … … … Please let them be nice, normal graves with nothing inside but a dead person?

REVENANT, TERRIBLE UNDEAD SLAUGHTERER OF ARMIES: Hiiiiiiiiiii.

[SCENE: Back in the same FOREST, after gluing everyone’s LIMBS back on.]

BLAKE: Okay. Okay. Sweet Maker, nobody touch anything. Everything will be fine. We are just going to skip that sidequest, all right? I’m not a completionist. I will learn to live without whatever rewards we might have gotten. Leave the graves alone.

ALISTAIR: You mean the grave I already desecrated to get us our rematch? Because I didn’t leave that one alone.

REVENANT, DEMONIC KNIGHT CLOAKED IN THE FLESH OF AN ANCIENT WARRIOR: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

[SCENE: Back in the same FOREST, after pulling all the SHARDS of BLAKE’s armor out of her SPINE.]

BLAKE: You guys. You guys. You guys. I don’t want… I don’t. You guys. Don’t. Hahahahaha…

MORRIGAN: I think you broke her.

ALISTAIR: Love makes people say strange things.

BLAKE: No touch graves!

LELIANA: Shhhhhh. There, there, honey. Everything will be okay. I won’t let them hurt you again. You can trust me.

BLAKE: Oh yeah, because you did such a great job the first two times. You sure did show that guy, hitting him in the sword with your face.

LELIANA: … You’re going to need to get me flowers to make me happy after that.

BLAKE: I could bring your international espionage documents! That’s what your ex-girlfriend finds romantic, right?!

LELIANA: Okay, you know what? We’re on a break.

BLAKE: My legs are on a break, in case you haven’t noticed! And we weren’t a couple yet anyway!

LELIANA: What are you talking about? Of course we were. I told you I like your hair, the universal declaration of love, and you didn’t stab me in return. We’re a couple.

ALISTAIR: That sounds right to me.

ZEVRAN: Ah, young love.

BLAKE: Yaaaaaaaaarghbble!

[This ADVENTURE has not been BLAKE’s best EXPERIENCE.]

[SCENE: The heart of the WOODS, a RUINED ELVEN TEMPLE, ext.]

BLAKE: All right. All right. Against all odds, we have managed to, as a team, survive a twenty-minute walk through the woods.

STEN: I would be proud of us, if I was not absolutely certain the next twenty minutes were going to lead to at least one of us suffering severe bodily harm.

MORRIGAN: Probably Alistair.

STEN: Yes, that is where I was leading.

MORRIGAN: I like you.

BLAKE: Look, we all want Alistair to suffer bodily harm. But-

ALISTAIR: I don’t want that!

BLAKE: This discussion doesn’t involve you.

ALISTAIR: I feel pretty involved!

WYNNE: Don’t worry, dear. I won’t let you die horribly. After all, you don’t have a spirit to reanimate your corpse. [PAUSE] Not that this is a thing that happens.

BLAKE: Subtle, Granny Foreshadow. But if it helps, I’m actually on Alistair’s side this time. See, the thing is, I got some signs that Zathrian isn’t exactly acting in our best interests.

LELIANA: Whatever do you mean?

[SCENE: The DALISH CAMP, at that VERY MOMENT.]

ZATHRIAN: Lanaya, my First. Have you sent a team of hunters to kill the humans who defile our sacred forests?

LANAYA: … … … Why would I have? You hired them to go in there and solve a problem for us.

ZATHRIAN: That doesn’t mean it isn’t blasphemy, Lanaya. Werewolves hunting our clan is certainly awful. But humans walking through the forest? Equally as awful. You see the problem?

LANAYA: … Sir, I was actually trying to coordinate with the quartermaster, to find a new supply of cloth for the medics to use as bandages. This seems more important than this whole… line of questioning. So would it be all right if we just pretend it never came up?

ZATHRIAN: I just feel like we could be killing more humans than we are.

LANAYA: Now see, this isn’t you pretending, sir. And I’m going to have to put my foot right down on the concept of you killing the humans who are trying to save us before they’ve even finished saving us.

ZATHRIAN: I’m gonna go out into the forest. To… check on them.

LANAYA: Sir, are you going to kill them?

ZATHRIAN: Y…….no.

LANAYA: [SIGHS DEEPLY]

[SCENE: The ANCIENT ELVEN TEMPLE, int. All the eye can SEE is littered with the BONES of those who have FAILED to plumb this TERRIBLE LABYRINTH. The stench of BLOOD and BEASTS fills the air, and the HOWLING of the WEREWOLVES is interrupted only by the CHITTERING of SPIDERS, the MOANS of the UNDEAD, and the ROARS of some TERRIBLE PREDATOR. MOOD: MUCH more OMINOUS than your typical CHURCH.]

ALISTAIR: This place seems nice.

BLAKE: [SIGHS DEEPLY]

LELIANA: Vot is wrong, my darlink?

MORRIGAN: Did your accent get German for a second there?

LELIANA: Le shut up, it eez, how you say, difficult to maintain a reedeculous accent in text form. Vich is unfair anyway, because my voice actress actually is French.

MORRIGAN: What?

LELIANA: Nuzzink, moi friend.

STEN: [IGNORING the TEAM, which is the only way he GETS THROUGH THE DAY] Commander. You seem worried. Is it because you have no skill as a commander? Or because we are not remotely equipped to deal with real danger?

ALISTAIR: Don’t be mean to my snuggle-bunny! She is a great leader, and we are super equipped.

STEN: I know a half of Redcliffe that would disagree.

WYNNE: Ah, Redcliffe. A beautiful community, you know. I have always loved to travel there, when I could find time away from the tower. How are they doing?

STEN: Half of them are doing very well.

BLAKE: Shut up. I’m worried because I’m planning this out, and it’s going to be ugly, okay? Look around. Those skeletons over there are going to get up when we walk past them. There’s a bunch of panels that are the wrong height in the floor. Can you say ‘trap’? And that roar was just like when a young dragon flew over the battlements back at the Castle last season.

ALISTAIR: Oh, it won’t be that bad. Traps are pretty easy to avoid if you’re very careful and cautious like we always are, we have a lot of experience fighting the undead at this point…

STEN: Not as much as half of Redcliffe.

ALISTAIR: … And let’s be honest, there’s practically no dragons in the world, and we’re underground! It probably wasn’t a dragon at all.

[SCENE: ONE FLOOR DOWN, which looks mostly the SAME. The major difference would be that MOST of the party is now SOAKED IN BLOOD, on FIRE, or BOTH.]

ALISTAIR: All right. It wasn’t a full-grown dragon.

BLAKE: You shut your Makerdamn face.

ALISTAIR: Awwww, honey, don’t be like that. I mean, we made it through and nobody was seriously wounded.

LELIANA: I zink my brain is leaking out my ears…

ZEVRAN: Where is my hand? Where is my hand?!

MORRIGAN: Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg…

STEN: I experience pain.

ALISTAIR: Nobody at all.

WYNNE: Don’t worry, as the only healer, I can heal you all. Aren’t you glad you didn’t say something to upset me? Antagonizing me would doom you all. And there will be other moments. You should live in constant fear of the moment you do something slightly too evil and I abandon you forever.

BLAKE: … You know, for someone who is the distilled essence of grandma, you have a bit of a dark side.

WYNNE: I look at it as helping you grow.

[WYNNE re-attaches everyone’s LIMBS, and because she’s SO NICE she even makes sure to ATTACH them to the RIGHT PEOPLE. The team opens ONE DOOR.]

HORDE OF WEREWOLVES: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

BLAKE: … Okay. We got this. At this point, I think we’re all armored by our scar tissue, right? And Alistair smells vaguely of cheese, so they’ll probably want to eat him first. Everyone, get them while they chew on Alistair.

ALISTAIR: I have issues with this plARRRRRGHLBLBE

BLAKE: Go team!

[SCENE: The HEART of the TEMPLE. There is a LARGE TREE, some WEREWOLVES, and a HOT GREEN NAKED FOREST NYMPH. MOOD: Awwwwwwwwwwwww YEAH.]

LADY OF THE FOREST: Greetings, travelers.

BLAKE: [Makes a kind of a SQUEAKING NOISE, but produces no WORDS.]

LADY: I rule these woods, and seek to comfort and calm the wolves within. They have been cursed, you see, tormented with this animalistic spirit by a mage you yourselves know.

BLAKE: [DROOLS]

LADY: Centuries ago, the humans of these woods murdered Zathrian’s children in an act of base cruelty, and in his rage and grief he bound a spirit to a great wolf, cursing them to… I’m sorry, are you listening? You seem a bit zoned out.

BLAKE: Oh. Um. [PAUSE, to consider a CHARMING RESPONSE.] … How you doin’?

LADY: … Right. Look. I get the sense you guys aren’t great at this, so I’ll give you the cliffnotes version. Zathrian cursed the werewolves for something their ancestors did hundreds of years ago, and that’s really unfair. I’m a pretty dryad, but I’m also the wolf who caused the curse, and he sent you to kill me so he could cure just his people. But if you get him and bring him here, we work together to cure everyone. That will be the good ending to this quest.

BLAKE: Sure. And like, if you wanted to grab coffee or…

LELIANA: A-HEM.

BLAKE: You can come too! You’re hardened, right?

LELIANA: Oh, le shut up. [Drags BLAKE out of the ROOM by her EAR. On the way out of the TEMPLE, they encounter ZATHRIAN, in a rare case of the game being CONVENIENT and not making you WALK the whole way BACK.]

ZATHRIAN: I knew you would betray me!

BLAKE: What?

ZATHRIAN: Oh, I’m sorry. Were you about to tell me you killed all the werewolves and brought me the heart of the head wolf to undo the curse upon my people?

BLAKE: No, we-

ZATHRIAN: I knew you would betray me!

ALISTAIR: Psssssssssssssssssssst. I think this one might be the villain.

DOG: [JUDGMENTALLY] Woof.

BLAKE: Man, you can say that again.

DOG: [CONSPIRATORIALLY] Woof.

BLAKE: Ha! Don’t worry, I won’t tell him. He wouldn’t listen even if I did.

DOG: [MOCKINGLY] ‘Woof woof, woof! Wooooof.’

BLAKE: HAHAHAHA! Oh Maker, he sounds exactly like that! You are the best at this. Do Sten next!

DOG: [STOICALLY] ‘Woof.’

BLAKE: He does like swords!

ZATHRIAN: [COUGHS POLITELY]

BLAKE: … Right, you were here. Um, come with us. We need to take you downstairs. The sexy naked forest nymph asked, and I make it a point to always do as asked by anyone who looks like a beautiful statue came to life. We’re gonna cure everyone of your curse.

ZATHRIAN: We absolutely are not. I made it very clear when I cast that curse it was to be forever, i.e. for all of time. If I lower it, I don’t my money’s worth. Because that will be less than forever.

WYNNE: Excuse me, young man? Did you sass me?

ZATHRIAN: What did you just say to me, human? I should…

WYNNE: Did you. Just. Sass me?

ZATHRIAN: [QUIETLY] … No ‘m.

WYNNE: And are you going to come downstairs with us?

ZATHRIAN: [QUIETLY] … Don’t wanna…

WYNNE: But you’re going to, or I shall be very disappointed in you.

ZATHRIAN: [QUIETLY] … Yes ‘m.

WYNNE: And you’re going to talk to your wolf-spirit in the form of an unclad young lady?

ZATHRIAN: [QUIETLY] … Yes ‘m.

[SCENE: Back DOWNSTAIRS. Yes, we have used TWO SCENE CHANGES to leave and re-enter the SAME ROOM.]

LADY: Zathrian, my creator. I beg you, please save both your people and my own. Only you can, father, and together

LELIANA: I’m really glad we went for the good ending here.

ALISTAIR: Yeah. It makes me feel good that we saved everyone without a giant pointless fight.

WYNNE: It truly was a wonderful day.

LADY: Will you join me, and save everyone that together we might finally end our centuries of pain and let our peoples find peace?

ZATHRIAN: BITCH DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

[ZATHRIAN waves his hands, instantly PARALYZING every werewolf in the room and the LADY OF THE FOREST while SIMULTANEOUSLY making a bunch of TREES come alive to KILL EVERYONE. Thank the LADY OF THE FOREST for living in the only UNDERGROUND CAVE full of TREES.]

[BLAKE casts a meaningful glare at her own MAGES because none of them can do ANYTHING remotely that COOL.]

MORRIGAN: … Stop judging me.

[SCENE: The same ROOM, only there are a bunch of BURNING TREE MEN and ZATHRIAN has LOOKED BETTER.]

BLAKE: You gonna lower the curse now?!

ZATHRIAN: You seem mad.

BLAKE: One of your tree monsters tore all the hair off the right side of my head.

ALISTAIR: I still love you.

LELIANA: Oui, it is a bold fashion statement!

BLAKE: Hsssssssssssssssssssss.

ZATHRIAN: Um. All right, lowering the curse will actually kill me, but I think at this point that’s the gentle option for me. So. Um, when you wanna…

BLAKE: NOW.

ZATHRIAN: You know, when you get to the Deep Roads section, you’re going to look back on this quest fondly, so…

BLAKE: HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

ZATHRIAN: Fine, fine! Lowering the curse, jeez.

ZEVRAN: On the plus side, my hair is still amazing.

[Thank the MAKER for SMALL FAVORS.]

#dragon age: origins #fanfic #my writing #Days of Our Dragon Age

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shipcestuous · 8 years

Text

(Submission)

All righty, I just finished And I Darken, and I’ve got a little bit of analysis for you! (Sorry, this got so damn long!)

So in case you hadn’t gathered yet, Lada and Radu’s relationship is complicated. It’s messy. They can cover each other’s weaknesses quite well–Lada is tough and ruthless and bold, and Radu’s clever and charismatic, and when they work together, they’re a force–but there’s obviously a lot of negative feelings between them at times. Sometimes because of their own actions, and sometimes because of misunderstandings or the actions of others around them.

But there’s also a sharp feeling of longing from both of them. They both reflect at points in the book on how they miss each other (if they’re apart, or sometimes even if they’re together and not getting along), how at times they’re each other’s only ally in the world, how they want to protect each other (even if they’re mad at each other at the time).

But it’s also evident in their relationships with other characters. Lada develops a sibling-like relationship with Bogdan and later Nicolae, and Radu does the same with Nazira. Obviously they both have a longing for a sibling relationship and, when they’re distant from each other, they look for that bond in other people.

Interestingly enough, ALL of those relationships have a non-platonic component. Of course, I already mentioned, in a previous ask, Lada and Bogdan’s fake-marriage as children. (When he reappears years later, he also introduces himself as Lada’s husband.) And while Lada and Nicolae have no interest in each other, she does consider kissing him to “move on” from her feelings for Mehmed (the friend she and Radu both like). And Radu enters into a marriage with Nazira (with the understanding that it’s purely platonic because she’s super gay for her maid; they’re really cute, btw).

And then, of course, there’s the elephant in the room… Mehmed. Yes, they both love him. But there’s a lot of reflection about each other in that love, too. Radu is jealous of Mehmed and Lada’s relationship (and dwells on Lada, Lada, Lada a lot), and upon realizing his feelings for Mehmed, Lada tries to basically “break his heart to save him” from the potential repercussions. Again, there’s that obvious affection connecting them, even when they aren’t (consciously) feeling particularly positive toward each other.

But still, it’s all about Mehmed in the end, right? Well… not exactly. Near the end of the book, there’s an assassination attempt, and Radu bursts in to find the would-be assassin trying to kill Mehmed and having already injured Lada pretty badly.

“Radu did not know who [the assassin guy] would kill first, and he could not protect them both at once.

He chose Lada.”

This isn’t a long, thought-out decision. This is his first gut instinct. To protect not the person he’s in love with, but the sister he’s known (and loved, and hated, and everything in between) his entire life. It’s telling. Whatever may have come between them, she’s still his most important person.

Then, they basically form a Battle Couple for a moment there, he saves her again (in a big turnaround from how she always kept people from hurting him when they were little), and then we get this.

“Radu threw himself forward and grabbed her blood-slicked hands. He tipped her up, falling backward with her on top of him.

She was shaking all over, trembling as he had never seen, delirious with blood loss and fear. “You saved me,” she said.

“Of course I did.”

She shook her head. “Not when I was falling. When Ilyas had us both on the floor. You chose me over Mehmed.”

“You are my family,” he whispered.

…He held her, stroking her hair and crying…“

In the next scene, they also hold hands while she comforts him about the friend he killed to save her. Shortly after, when some more shit goes down (somebody let these siblings live in peace, please), Lada reflects on how her relationship with Radu has changed and how she knows him again. He’s the same brother she saved more than once as children:

“He was no longer the man Lada did not know. He was the boy on the ice, the boy in the forest, the boy in the thorns. He was hers.”

This, right before she lies to Mehmed’s face in order to keep him from getting angry at Radu. Love interest? Which one is the love interest again? She verbally rips apart Mehmed’s trust in her, and possibly his love for her, in order to spare her brother from being hurt as well. It definitely shows how far their relationship has progressed since the start.

In the end, she decides she wants to go back to their original home, but she uncharacteristically begs Radu to come with her. He declines, but it’s obviously a painful choice. Then Mehmed asks her to marry him and she’s all “lol, nope,” and then we get another interesting bit of prose:

“Love was a weakness, a trap…. Somehow she had failed to keep herself free. Mehmed and Radu stood before her, snaring her, keeping her here. And even knowing it, she recoiled at the thought of losing them.”

This really is a triangle because there’s such strong feelings on all sides. Again, the sibling relationship is portrayed as being of equal importance to the one with the love interest.

And shortly after, again! “Radu and Mehmed had both given her something she could not give herself, had seen her in a way no one else had and no one else ever would. They looked at her, ugly Lada, vicious Lada, and saw something precious…. One future–bleak and unknowable… unfurled before her. Another, with her brother and the man who knew her and still loved her, shone like a beacon.”

I know that last sentence is referring to both men, but honestly, it could just as easily be referring to Radu since the narrative just went out of its way to establish that they know and love each other so much better now.

And of course, we get a snippet of Radu’s sadness once Lada leaves, where he thinks of her as “home.”

Look me in the eyes and tell me this is a 100% platonic sibling relationship. …I mean, it’s you. You’re too awesome to do that to me. But still! They’re way more shippable than I anticipated! I can’t wait for more interactions between these two in the sequel, whenever it comes out. When they reunite next, things are bound to get interesting. (Probably not in the way I want them to, but still.)

Hmmmm. I don’t see it. 100% platonic.

…

JUST KIDDING, OBVIOUSLY.

Thank you so much for writing all of this up. Everyone always apologizes for long asks/submits but honestly the more the better, always!

I really love how even though it wasn’t exactly, strictly speaking, a typical love triangle, Lada and Radu’s relationship was always a contender in their relationships with Mehmed, and they could never be with Mehmed or think about Mehmed without thinking of their sibling too.

This seems like a somewhat rare and exquisite example of a brother/sister relationship. Because it’s so complicated, and has so much development, and the end actually involves Radu choosing to save Lada instead of Mehmed, and Lada wanting Radu to come with her. And just the way it’s on pretty much equal footing with the “official” love interest relationship.

And I think it’s great how there was a romantic to component to those sibling-ike relationships that they have.

I really love that passage you typed out after he saves her. So beautiful!

#asks #anonymous #the conqueror's saga #r: brosis #nc but sorta not as we see here #tw: incest #and i darken #lada and radu #submission #nr

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