#I already put the cream twice and it seems like it only works an hour tops

[diari0deglierrori]

My skin is so dry I don’t know what to do anymore, I tried one cream because it’s the only I could find at the supermarket but it keeps coming back :/

[cjlouwho]

You're a Piece of My Soul I Can't Let Go

10.5k; read below or on ao3; tags: presumed dead (no actual major character death), angst, hurt/comfort, anxiety, panic, flashbacks, smut, witness protection, secret service

Buck didn't cry at the funeral.

It's not that he wasn't sad. He was heartbroken beyond repair.

The tears simply wouldn't fall.

He didn't show much emotional at all. Didn't listen to the speeches people gave. Didn't react when someone would give him a hug or a pat on the back. Didn't care about the words of encouragement by people who had no clue what it felt like to lose someone.

“Time will heal.”

“He's an angel now.”

“God needed him more.”

“Life goes on.”

“Hold yourself together for him.”

It was all bullshit.

The burial wasn't much different. He sat, unmoving, from his chair in the front row. Held out his hands when he presented with the folded flag. Heard the sniffs and cries from the people around him, but he remained stoic.

Nothing about this felt right.

There was a reception afterward at Bobby and Athena's place. Buck, wanting nothing to do with the limo that was reserved for family, had driven his Jeep to the cemetery.

He told Bobby he'd meet them at their place. Let Bobby wrap him in another hug before he left.

He didn't go to Bobby's.

Didn't want to talk to all those people. He had no desire to hear them laugh as they told stories about Tommy. They'd never know him like he did.

He went home instead. Back to the place he and Tommy shared.

It was Tommy's house, originally. Then Buck had moved in only five months into them dating. It seemed crazy at the time, but it worked. They were engaged two months later, married six months after that.

Four months of marriage. That's all they'd gotten. The ring around Buck's finger still felt new, and it was already over.

Seventeen months total. The best seventeen months of Buck's life.

And it was all gone.

Buck walked into the house that screamed��Tommy, Tommy, Tommy everywhere he looked. There was the couch they had picked out together. The lamp that Tommy had knocked off the table twice, yet somehow never broke. The kitchen where they realized they were far too old to be having sex on a countertop. The clock on the wall that played obnoxious music every hour that Buck hated but Tommy loved, so it was only ever on if Buck had to work and Tommy was at home.

His houseplants he killed regularly.

The TV they splurged on because Tommy both loved watching movies and loved watching Buck watch movies.

The bedroom, two nightstands. One side almost empty because all Buck needed was a lamp and a spot for his phone at night. The other side with a lamp, charger, reading glasses, chapstick, and a glass of water that now had a thin film of dust covering the top.

Buck toed off his shoes and walked to the bed, lying down. He pulled his phone from his pocket and silenced it before setting it on his nightstand. He didn't want to be bothered. Maddie could see his location, would know he was fine. That was enough.

He curled onto his side, facing Tommy's side of the bed. He tugged at Tommy's pillow, moving it so it rested lengthwise against his body. He snuggled it tightly. Closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of Tommy's shampoo and cologne, still fresh on the pillowcase.

He fell into a dreamless sleep.

Nothing about this felt right.

“What's the matter?” Tommy asked immediately upon entering the kitchen. Buck had his eyebrows drawn tightly together as he stared at a can of coconut milk. That was never a good sign.

“I got the wrong thing,” Buck pouted. “I was supposed to get coconut cream and I picked up the milk.”

“I'm guessing they're not interchangeable?”

Buck gave him a look that asked the question, “Are you crazy?” without saying a word.

“Right.” Tommy began searching the room for his keys, “I will go get you your coconut cream.”

“No, I can get it,” Buck put the can down and headed for the stove. “I'll let Bobby know dinner will be a little late,” he said, switching off a couple of the burners, “and then-”

Buck was cut off by Tommy wrapping his arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to his temple. “You keep cooking,” he insisted, “I'll get the cream.”

Buck smiled softly, leaning further into Tommy's touch. “You sure?”

“I'm sure.”

Buck turned his head for a kiss on the lips before Tommy unraveled himself from him.

“Keys?” Tommy asked.

“Coffee table.”

“Right! Thank you. Love you, Babe. Be right back.”

“Love you too.”

Three days was all the bereavement pay a city employee was allotted after the death of a family member. Bobby had managed to space out Buck's shifts enough to give him seven days before he had to dip into his vacation time.

It didn't matter anyway. He hadn't used his vacation days in a long time. Had been saving them for a long roadtrip with...

It didn't matter. He didn't need those vacation days anymore.

A part of him had thought about going back to work. He had gotten dressed and everything. Had his keys and was headed out the door. He couldn't seem to make it past the doorframe.

He typed a simple text to Bobby, taking vacation day, silenced his phone and got back into bed. Bed, bathroom, kitchen, bed, bathroom, kitchen, the same path for the next week.

People would come to the door, knock and knock and knock, but he made no effort to let them in.

When they'd text, he'd respond so they knew he was alive, but also knew to leave him alone.

I need some time, he'd text them, please let me have time to myself.

That worked for a while, until Eddie decided to screw it all and use the spare key he had to let himself in.

“Buck?” he called out as he gently opened the front door. “Buck, you here?”

He walked into the dark house, all the curtains drawn and not a single light on. After peeking into the kitchen and living room, he made his way to the bedroom. The door was cracked, so he nudged it open until he could see Buck lying on the bed, facing away from the door.

He was under the covers, cuddling a pillow close to him.

“Buck?” Eddie whispered.

He waited a few seconds and was just about to head out to the living room until Buck woke up, when he heard a, “Hm?”

“You awake?”

“I'm not a sleep talker,” Buck muttered grumpily. He turned just enough to look at Eddie. “Why're you here?”

“To check on you.”

Buck folded himself back over the pillow, closing his eyes. “Told you I'm fine.”

“Yeah... don't really believe you, bud.” Eddie walked over to the other side of the bed so he could face Buck. Sunlight peeked through the curtains enough for Eddie to see that, surprisingly, Buck didn't look like he'd been crying.

He just looked tired. Staying in bed for two weeks could do that to a person.

“Come on, Buck,” Eddie said, “let's go out to the living room. Get you something to eat.”

“Already ate,” Buck mumbled into the pillow.

“When?”

Buck sighed. “What time is it?”

“Three o'clock in the afternoon.”

“What day is it?”

“Thursday.”

Reluctantly, Buck sat up in bed, sending a glare to Eddie. “I ate at one.”

Eddie crossed his arms. “On what day?”

God, Buck hated when he got all parental with him. Made him feel like a child. “Wednesday.”

“Up,” Eddie demanded, snapping his fingers. “Now.”

Buck was too tired to fight him. He knew the quicker he went along, ate whatever Eddie wanted him to eat, talked about whatever Eddie wanted him to talk about, he could get him out of his house.

He pulled the covers off of him and got out of bed, scooting his feet as he walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch.

Eddie couldn't help but noticed how much weight Buck had lost over the last couple of weeks. It made him feel awful for waiting so long to force himself into Buck's home. He was trying to be respectful. Trying to give Buck the space he kept requesting. He'd get those texts from Buck every time he knocked on the door, and he'd leave because he was asked to. That's what they'd all been doing. He knew now that was a mistake.

“I don't wanna eat much,” Buck said, staring straight ahead at the TV.

“I already ordered some wonton soup from China Wok. It'll be here in a minute.” Eddie sat on the other end of the couch. “Talk to me, Buck. Please.”

“About?”

“Anything.”

Buck's eyes scanned the living room. Dead flowers were scattered around, all sent somewhere between the day after Tommy's body was found up until a few days ago. Buck had managed to bring them into the house, just so no one called in a wellness check on him, but he didn't bother with keeping them alive.

What was the point? They'd die eventually anyway.

“I haven't dreamt since he... since they... you know.”

Eddie was thrown off guard by the admission, expecting it to be harder for Buck to confide in him. “None at all?”

He shook his head. “Nope. Used to. Used to have a lot of dreams. Not anymore.”

“Buck, I know what it's like to-”

“Don't,” Buck interrupted, looking at Eddie for the first time since they sat down. “Please, I- I've gotten so many 'I know what you're going through' texts from people and it doesn't help.”

Eddie nodded. “I understand.”

Buck turned his attention down to his hands, thumbs twiddling together nervously. “Can I- Can I tell you something really dumb?”

“Sure!” Eddie exclaimed, trying to lighten the mood a bit. “I love hearing dumb things.”

Buck managed a small smile. It faded faster than it had appeared. “I- Sometimes it doesn't feel, um, feel real to me. Like, I don't believe he's gone. That, um, that feeling that you get when someone has- when they've died. I- I don't have that.”

“Accepting it's happened is one of the hardest things to do, Buck. That's normal.”

“I haven't even cried,” Buck admitted. “Not since the day I was told he... he was gone.”

“That's normal too.”

Eddie didn't understand. Buck knew he wouldn't. “I don't know,” he breathed out, more to himself than to Eddie.

“Don't know what?”

The doorbell rang, pulling them out of their discussion. Buck was grateful. He didn't feel like talking anymore.

“Ready to eat?” Eddie asked, clapping his hands together as he got up and headed for the door.

“Mhm,” Buck lied. He leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. He just needed to get through this meal, then Eddie would leave, and he could go back to bed.

He needed to get back to bed.

“It doesn't make any sense to me. At all.”

“You're not letting this go anytime soon, are you?”

“They didn't end up together in the end, Evan! Why'd they even say the movie was a romantic comedy? What's the point?”

Buck reached over and took Tommy's hand from where it rested on the center console. “I think they did it on purpose,” he surmised, “to spite you.”

“I agree, those bastards.”

“If it makes you feel any better,” Buck gave Tommy's hand a squeeze, “they are fictional, so you know, they didn't really mind that they weren't together in the end.”

“Hm.” Tommy thought for a moment before shaking his head. “No, that doesn't make me feel any better at all.”

Buck shrugged. “I tried.”

“They had everything planned, Evan,” Tommy said, continuing his rant. “They had their whole future planned and they threw it all away in the end? Ugh, I can't.”

“Maybe it was to show that she found herself, you know, without him. That's not a bad thing.”

“It's not a bad thing at all, if I'm properly warned that that's what the movie is going to be about. It is a bad thing when you call the movie a romantic comedy.”

“Is there someone we should be writing a strongly worded letter to?” Buck asked, a cheeky grin on his face.

Tommy shot a meaningless glare in his direction. “You joke now, but I wasn't the only one crying in the theater.”

“Who said I was joking?” Buck asked. “I- I love a strongly worded letter. We can whip out some paper and a pen the second we get home.”

Buck could feel Tommy's body start to relax. His face softened as he stole another glance at Buck before turning back to the road. “I love that you're my husband.”

Buck brought Tommy's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “I love that you're mine.”

Buck stared down at his wedding band. It had been a month now. A month since he'd last seen Tommy. A month and five days since their last date.

“Buck... Buck?”

Buck looked up to Hen watching him from across the truck. They were on their way to a call. Some small fire in the middle of nowhere with no people around. It'd be an easy call. Buck was grateful for that. This would be his fourth shift back at work, although it was his first full 24-hour one.

“Yeah?” he asked, ignoring the fact that Chimney and Eddie were giving him side glances as well.

“You good?”

He'd be angry at the question if anyone else had asked. He knew his temper was shorter than it ever used to be. Knew even the smallest things could set him off. He often had to force himself to stay calm. Take some deep breaths and count to ten before responding to someone.

He didn't have to do that with Hen though. Her voice was soothing to him. A calm against the stormy sea that was his mind.

Buck nodded. “I'm good.”

“You want in?”

He paused, dumbfounded. He had no idea what she was talking about. “In on what?”

“We're placing bets on what caused the fire,” Chimney explained. “I said kids smoking in the woods.”

“I'm going with the sun beating down on a glass bottle.” Eddie looked proud of his choice.

“Old fashioned illegal campfire for me.” Hen smiled softly at Buck. “You?”

“Oh, um, nah. I- I'm good.”

“Oh come on,” Eddie reached over and nudged Buck's knee. “Take a guess.”

Buck took a deep breath. Thought for a moment. “Fireworks, I- yeah. Fireworks.”

“In the middle of the day?” Chimney questioned.

Hen shrugged. “Wouldn't be the first time. Okay, Cap,” she said, fiddling with her headset, “what about you?”

Buck phased back out as Bobby made his guess. He tugged at his ring, twirling it around and around on his finger. He thought about the inscription on the inside. One Four Three. Had to force himself out of that memory before he could even start to get into it.

It all felt like too much. Too overwhelming. He needed to get himself together.

He sat up straight and cleared his throat.

He could do this. He could get through this shift. Get home. Get into bed. Stay there for forty-eight hours before he'd have to pretend again.

...He didn't even care that he won the bet.

“I've tried calling him like five times,” Buck said. He was sitting on the couch, his leg bouncing nervously up and down, Bobby and Athena sitting across from him. “I- I'm sorry about dinner, guys-”

“Don't even think about it,” Athena interrupted. “Bobby, you having any luck?”

Bobby shook his head. “I've texted him a few times but they're not going through.”

“Something's wrong. He wouldn't... Something's wrong. His location isn't on anymore either.”

“Okay.” Athena pulled out her phone. “Where did you say he was going?”

“Ralph's. He was just getting me some coconut cream for my recipe. I- I said I'd go but he insisted. That was over two hours ago. I, um, I should drive there and check.” He went to get up but Athena held out a hand to stop him.

“I'll go,” she said. “You and Bobby stay. Let me know if he shows up. I've got my badge and everything out in the car, so I can ask around at the store if I can't find him. His phone probably died and they were out of the right stuff at Ralph's, so he went somewhere else.”

“Yeah. Yeah, maybe,” Buck replied, but he could see the look Athena gave Bobby out of the corner of his eye.

He knew nothing in his life was ever that simple.

He stumbled upon the video by accident. He was looking for a picture of a recipe that Maddie had asked for when his finger hit the wrong thumbnail and the video began to play.

It was one he took without Tommy knowing. A rare rainy day in Los Angeles gave them the opportunity to relax at home instead of run errands or make plans.

Buck was splayed out on the couch, head on the armrest and his legs on Tommy's lap. Tommy had a crossword over Buck's legs, staring at it with an intensity usually reserved for flying into dangerous situations.

“If twenty-one across is evergreen, then eighteen down can't be carpet.”

“I thought you said eighteen down had to be carpet?” Buck asked off camera.

“It does, Evan,” Tommy placed the pen between his teeth. “It really does.”

“Then evergreen is wrong.”

Tommy shook his head. “Nope. It's gotta be evergreen.”

“We've been going over this for almost an hour now, Tommy,” Buck said, huffing out a laugh. “Give it up.”

“I've never been this close to finishing a Sunday crossword!” Tommy whined, the smile on his face betraying the seriousness of his voice. “If I give up now, I'll never forgive myself.”

“If you give up now I'll let you blow me as a consolation prize,” Buck offered cheekily.

Tommy gasped, glancing at Buck with a look of betrayal. “Sabotage!” he exclaimed. “I have to finish this, babe, or my name isn't Thomas Andrew Kinard!”

“Your name isn't Thomas Andrew Kinard,” Buck replied, the video shaking with his laughter. “It's Buckley-Kinard.”

Tommy froze. He clicked his pen closed and tossed it, along with the paper, on the coffee table. He turned to Evan, his eyes darkening, “About that consolation prize?”

Buck found himself smiling as the video ended. He'd taken it only three weeks after their wedding. The video wasn't even old, but it felt like a lifetime ago.

Suddenly, the living room felt cold. Buck's spot on the couch now uncomfortable. The silence a stark contrast to all the life in that memory. For two months now he'd had nothing but silence in his home, besides the far too occasional visits from his friends and family. It wasn't the same though. It wasn't the same as having Tommy.

The smile on Buck's face faded. He got up and headed to the bedroom to lie down.

Maddie would have to get that recipe another day.

“We're all set to clear out here,” Bobby said over the radio. “Great work everyone.”

The call had been a big one. A four alarm fire that required the assistance of multiple stations.

“This is Firefighter Pilot Kinard of Harbor Station for Firefighter Buckley of 118, over,” Tommy's voice came over the radio. He had been providing assistance from the chopper, now hovering above them as he set to head back.

Buck glanced around at the rest of the 118, all stopping what they were doing to watch him and listen in. “Go for Buckley.”

“Looking for confirmation on a code one-four-three.”

“One-four-three confirmed and returned.”

“Excellent. Returning to Harbor Station.”

“What the hell is a one-four-three?” Chimney asked once the sounds from the chopper were off in the distance.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “It's their way of saying 'I love you' after a big call.”

Buck smiled. “We usually text it to each other,” he explained, a blush rising on his cheeks, “just to let the other know we're alright. Guess he couldn't get to his phone.”

Hen put a hand to her stomach. “That's so preciously sickening I might throw up.”

“Okay, okay, come on guys,” Bobby said, waving the group toward the truck, “give Buck a break-”

“Thank you, Cap.”

“-for now. We can make fun of him on the way back to the station.”

“Hey!”

It was the longest, most grueling shift Buck had had since he could remember. He had only managed a couple hours of sleep, and that was often in fifteen minute increments. The worst part was the majority of calls were from people being stupid. Accidents that could have been prevented had a single person with half a brain been anywhere around.

All Buck wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep.

Which is why he was not so pleasantly surprised when he pulled up to Maddie's car in his driveway.

She greeted him at the door with a hug, and he faked a smile as he hugged back. “Why're you here?” he asked, trying to sound polite.

“Well, you've been working so hard lately, I figured I'd come over and help with the housecleaning.”

“Oh, uh, um, thanks.” The overwhelming smell of cleaning supplies made him feel a bit lightheaded as he walked further into the house, dropping his duffel on the dining room table. “It looks great in here.”

That wasn't a lie. She had made the place spotless. He wasn't a messy person himself but he couldn't deny he'd let certain things, like mopping and dusting, go over the past few months.

“It's the least I could do,” she replied. “I won't stay long, Howie texted me about how busy you guys were. Needed an excuse to see you though. It's... It's been a while.”

Two and a half weeks, to be exact. No fault of Maddie's either. She'd make plans with him, and he'd cancel last minute.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, running a hand through his hair. “I've been, uh, trying to get things back in order. I'm just- I'm still kind of...”

“It's okay,” she assured him. “Really. I understand.”

“Let me, um, let me go put my jacket up,” he said, tugging at it, “and we'll talk for a little bit before you go.” He didn't want to. No desire for small talk, or talk of any kind, but he couldn't kick her out of the house after all she'd done for him.

She smiled. “Okay. That sounds good.”

He headed to his bedroom, but stopped dead in his tracks when he reached the doorway.

“Did you... Did you wash my sheets?”

“I did,” Maddie replied, coming up behind him. Her voice was far too nonchalant for the blinding rage that was slowly seeping up inside him.

“All of them? Like, the pillowcases too?”

“Uh, yeah? Why would I only wash some of your sheets, Buck?”

Buck hurried over to the far side of the bed, throwing the comforter and sheets back to get to Tommy's pillow.

He didn't care if he looked like a crazy person. He brought the pillow up to his face and took a deep breath in.

It smelled like Gain.

It made him want to throw up.

“Buck, what's wrong?” She was clearly worried, standing uncomfortably in the doorway.

“I didn't ask you to do this, Maddie,” he said angrily, tossing the pillow back on the bed. “I- I didn't ask you to do any of this.”

“I know. I just wanted to help. Buck, I'm sorry if I-”

“I need you to leave.”

“Buck-”

“Leave!”

She stood firmly in place. “I'm not leaving until you tell me what I did wrong.”

“I- I, everyone keeps trying to help me,” he huffed, “and I don't want it! I don't want Eddie coming over for dinner! I don't want Hen taking me out for drinks! I don't want Chimney taking me to a movie! I don't want Bobby texting me every damn day! And I don't want you to be my maid!”

“We're just trying to help you, Evan-”

“Don't call me that!” He spewed.

He was breathing heavily. The stinging in his eyes surprised him. It'd been so long since he had last cried. He didn't particularly feel like crying right now, but apparently his body did. He groaned, sitting down on Tommy's side of the bed and staring out the window. He brought Tommy's pillow to his chest, and began to sob.

Maddie was by his side in seconds, wrapping her arms around him and enveloping him in a hug. 'I'm so sorry, Buck. I'm so sorry.” She was crying too. Buck could feel her tears wetting his shirt. He wasn't even sure why she was apologizing. She didn't have anything to be sorry for. If anything, he should be apologizing for snapping at her so harshly.

If he could speak, he would have told her as much. Would have told her that his head was a jumbled mess that he couldn't seem to clear. That nothing about this felt real. That he felt like Tommy was still there, somewhere, with them.

That it'd been four months since he'd had a dream. How he missed dreaming. They were always so vivid, him and Tommy, living their lives together.

Now, there was just darkness. An endless abyss of black every time he closed his eyes.

He'd tell her how his memories haunted him. The dreams may not exist, but the memories would appear out of nowhere at the worst times. They'd plague him. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't escape them.

He wasn't sure how much time passed before he was able to find his voice. Before he was able to bring himself out of Maddie's embrace. He kept a tight hold on the pillow, fingers messing with a pulled thread at the edge. “It s- smelled like him,” he said, his lip still trembling. “I'd... I'd wash everything else but, um, I- I couldn't wash this.”

“Oh, Buck, I'm so sorry. I didn't-”

“I know. It's okay. I- I know you were trying to help. It's okay.”

“Do you still have some of his cologne?”

Buck nodded and Maddie got up to go into the bathroom.

“Where?” she asked.

“Far sink, open the cabinet, black bottle.”

She returned a few seconds later with a bottle in hand, held out for Buck to see. “This one?”

“Mhm.”

“Want me to spray it?”

He laid the pillow out flat and Maddie sprayed it a couple of times.

“I really miss him, Maddie,” Buck admitted quietly, inhaling the scent of his cologne as it passed through the air.

“I know, Buck. I know.”

“Bobby, it's been twenty-four hours of nothing. I'm freaking out.”

Bobby hadn't left Buck since he'd arrived the day before. Athena had worked all night putting out alerts for Tommy and his vehicle, but hadn't gotten anywhere.

He and Buck had left two different times to go driving around. The rest of the 118 had gone searching as well, going to places he frequented, driving down any and every back road they could find.

Nothing.

Now, back at the house to rest for a minute, and make sure Tommy hadn't come back home, Buck was in a full blown panic.

“I know, Buck, but we're all doing everything we can,” Bobby replied, leading Buck to the couch. “Athena's got officers searching the whole city for his car. He'll be found.”

“But what if-”

“No,” Bobby sat on the edge of the coffee table so he could face Buck, “you're not gonna think like that, Buck.”

“Bobby,” his voice was pleading and his eyes red. “You know s- something's wrong. H- He wouldn't do this. You know that.”

Bobby sighed. He opened his mouth to speak, unsure of what he could even say, when the doorbell rang.

Buck's heart started pounding right away. Athena wouldn't ring the doorbell. She'd knock. So would anyone from the 118, except Eddie. Eddie would come right on in.

He was shaking as he got up and walked to the door, Bobby close behind him.

“Detective John Farrow,” a man introduced the second Buck opened the door. “Are you Evan Buckley-Kinard?”

Buck nodded. “I- Yes. I- I am.”

“Mr. Buckley-Kinard, I'm sorry to inform you...”

The sound of the detective's voice was replaced by a ringing in Buck's ears. He felt dizzy. His vision blurred. The last thing he remembered was Bobby catching him as he fell.

Agreeing to lunch at Maddie's with his parents was a mistake. He knew that from the moment he said yes. He'd been working on controlling his temper. Not overreacting at the small things.

There was still more work to be done.

“So,” Margaret began, everyone settled at the table. Maddie looked up to see her eyes on Buck. The look Margaret was giving him already made her want to scream. “There's really no easy way to say this, Evan-”

“Then maybe you shouldn't say it,” Maddie suggested. Chimney placed a hand on her back, rubbing gently to try and ease the tension.

Buck remained quiet, eyes directed toward his mother with an unreadable expression on his face.

“I'm simply asking,” Margaret continued, “if you've, you know, gotten back out there any?”

“Margaret,” Phillip warned under his breath. Maddie knew that if their dad wasn't even on their mom's side, this was never going to end civilly.

Maddie swore Buck's eyes went dark. “Buck-” Maddie started, but he cut her off.

“You're not seriously asking me if I'm dating six months after my husband died, are you, Mom?”

“Not dating, but getting back out into the world. I- I've heard so much about you staying holed up in your house, only leaving to go to work, and that worries me, Evan.”

“Stop calling me, Evan,” Buck demanded.

Margaret raised her hands in surrender. “I'm sorry,” she said, and she meant it. The name sometimes slipped out without her realizing it. She had been warned that the name triggered Buck in a way it never had before. Even though others had used it on occasion before, Evan had become Tommy's name for him. And with him gone, Buck didn't want to hear it from anyone. “I'm sorry, Buck. I just don't want to see you wasting away. It's hard for a mother to see her child suffer like this.”

“Were you over Daniel's death in six months?” Buck asked bitterly. “Were you back out there? Cause I seem to remember it being about thirty years before you even mentioned his name. And you only did that once Maddie told me about him.”

Tears filled Maddie's eyes. “Buck,” she spoke softly. She desperately wanted this conversation to end.

“That's not fair, Buck,” Margaret answered, her voice shaking. “Daniel was my child.”

“And Tommy was my husband!” Buck slammed his napkin on the table, rising to his feet. “We had planned a future together! We were saving up for a house, we were planning on having kids, we talked about what we'd do when we retired! Hell, we planned weekly grocery shopping trips together! All these things got ripped out from under me, and I'm supposed to just get back out there? Are you crazy?”

“Hey,” Phillip stood across from him, “that's too far. Your mother wasn't trying to be malicious.”

Buck shook his head, then began to head for the door. “This was a mistake. I- I'm gonna go.”

“Buck, wait-” Maddie went to get up, but Chimney placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Let me,” he said, walking out after Buck.

“Wait a minute, Buck!” Chimney jogged a few steps to catch up to him.

Buck stopped at his Jeep, hand on the door handle. “I'm not going back in.”

“Wasn't gonna ask you to. Just want to make sure you're okay.”

Buck let out a humorless laugh, turning back to Chimney. “Well, apparently I only stay holed up in my house except to go to work, so you tell me if I'm okay.”

“Maddie didn't say it like that to them, Buck, please don't be mad at her. She's worried about you. We all are.”

Buck scoffed. “Just leave me alone for tonight,” he said, getting into his Jeep. “I'll see you at work on Friday.”

“He flashed the ring three times today,” Eddie said, scooting back into the bench. After work they'd all met Tommy at the bar for a few drinks before heading home.

“Four,” Hen corrected.

“Nope.” Chimney took a sip of his beer. “Five.”

Tommy grinned at Buck. “Really? Five times? Can't say I blame them, I do have a hot fiancé.”

“Oh, my guy was not flirting,” Chimney stated. “Buck asked him if he liked the way the ring shimmered in the sunlight.”

“Mhm,” Hen agreed. “My girl wasn't flirting either. Buck noticed she had an ultrasonic ring cleaner in her bathroom and asked if she was happy with her purchase because, and I quote, 'I just got engaged and I want to make sure my ring stays perfect forever.'”

“Okay, guys,” Buck said with a groan, ��we get it. I'm lame.”

“I don't think it's lame.” Tommy rested his hand on Buck's knee. “I think it's adorable. I love that you're excited to get married.”

A blush rose on Buck's cheeks. “I am excited,” he agreed, leaning in for a kiss. “Very excited.”

“Before this gets pg-13,” Eddie interrupted, “the two men I had were definitely flirting, but they both got the hint after the first 'fiancé' was thrown out there. Buck threw in two more for good measure. The other person- not flirting.”

“What about you?” Hen asked Tommy. “Did you get any offers you had to turn down today?”

“Well, I was thousands of feet in the air for both of the calls I went on, so any prospects would have had to look at me through some really good binoculars and then steal a radio to tell me they were into me, so no. No offers.”

“The guy in the bathroom definitely flirted with you like ten minutes ago, Dude,” Eddie said with a laugh.

“What?” Tommy asked incredulously. “No he didn't.”

“He for sure did. Man was jacked and he was asking for your workout routine.”

“He said he wanted to switch things up!” Tommy exclaimed.

Eddie snorted. “Oh, he definitely wanted to switch things up.”

“What? Who is this man?” Buck eyes darted around the bar. “Where is he?”

“Don't worry about it Buck,” Eddie reassured him. “Tommy didn't even realize it. Gave the guy a five minute rundown of how he gets the perfect squat. Your man only has eyes for you.”

Buck settled back into his seat, leaning into Tommy's side as Tommy pulled him closer and pressed a kiss to his temple. “That's true,” he whispered into Buck's ear.

Buck rested his head on Tommy's shoulder, ignoring the teasing gag sounds that came from the others around them.

If it were possible, he'd stay like this forever.

He should have expected this.

It should have happened sooner, if he were being honest.

He was lucky to go seven months without a call that hit too close to home.

There had been a hit and run. The car that was hit had flipped twice, landed right side up, and immediately burst into flames.

The man in the driver's seat never stood a chance.

Buck was okay while they hurried to get out the flames. He'd ignored the glances from the rest of the team, ignored Bobby's suggestion to stay by the engine, ignored the thoughts in the back of his head telling him to sit this one out.

It wasn't until the fire was out and he saw the man's body, burnt so severely he looked more like a halloween decoration than a human, that Buck lost it.

No matter how much he wanted to look away, his eyes were fixed on the body. His heart rate was speeding up quickly, each breath short and sharp and painful.

He hadn't even realized that tears were falling down his face. Or that he was letting out little noises similar to a dog's whine. He had his helmet in his hand, shaking so much it was vibrating against his leg.

Buck didn't even notice the bystanders watching him, some of them whispering, others pulling out their phones.

It felt like hours, but Bobby was in front of him within seconds. “We're gonna walk away, Buck,” he said calmly but firmly, planting a hand on his shoulder. “We're gonna walk away and go sit behind the engine. Come on.”

Buck let Bobby guide him to a quite spot behind the fire truck, sitting on the curb. Bobby took his helmet from him and tossed it somewhere, then sat down beside him.

“I'm sorry,” Buck breathed out, wiping over his face with his hand.

“You don't ever have to apologize for being human, Buck.”

“I don't know how to do this,” he confessed through sobs. “I don't- I don't know how to keep g- going.”

“The path through grief isn't linear,” Bobby explained. “Hell, it's not really much of a path you get through at all. More like a loop.”

“So this is... This is m- my forever?” He asked, voice rising in despair.

“No. Not exactly. You do learn how to manage it better over time, but it takes time, Buck. And it takes letting the people around you help you, instead of pushing them away.”

“I don't mean to,” Buck said as he began to calm down. “It just takes so much energy. Everything is exhausting. Talking to people is- is so exhausting.”

“I know. Buck, you've seen grief. It's been around you since you were a baby. I'm not saying there's any right or wrong way to grieve, but I think you know how dangerous it is to lose yourself in it.” Bobby put his arm around him, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “No one expects you to be exactly who you were before you lost Tommy. I'll never be the same person I was, Eddie won't be the same person he was, Chimney won't be who he was before losing his brother, I could go on and on. But we- I need you to realize you're still here, you're still breathing, and Tommy wouldn't want you to disappear.”

Buck nodded, a new wave of tears taking over him.

Bobby pulled him close and let him cry.

“How many kids do you want?”

Buck and Tommy were sat on the front porch steps watching the sunset behind the trees across the street.

“Uh,” Tommy paused, caught off guard. “I don't know. Haven't really thought about it.”

Buck shrugged. “We've talked about wanting kids, but we've never talked about how many we want.”

“Hm. Two sounds nice. Kinda close together so they can grow up with each other. You?”

“Two's good,” he agreed. “But we'd need a bigger house.”

“Oh, for sure. This one barely fits the two of us.”

“And I'd like for us to be married a while first. Settled, you know?”

Tommy raised his eyebrows. “You proposing?”

“Ha! Like this? No.” Buck took Tommy's hand in his and they settled into a comfortable silence. After a couple minutes, Buck squeezed Tommy's hand to get his attention. “I have, um, I've been thinking about it though. Um, about proposing,” he said, staring deep into Tommy's eyes to see what kind of response he'd get. When Tommy appeared surprised, Buck panicked a bit. “Is that, um, is- is that weird? To be thinking about it so soon?”

“What? Oh, God, no, Evan. I,” he laughed, “I've actually been thinking about it too. For a while now.”

Buck looked as shocked as the night Tommy first kissed him. “Really?”

“Really. I've been googling rings, looking for the perfect one. Kept trying to talk myself out of it because I wasn't sure if you'd think it was too fast but-”

Tommy's words were cut off by Buck's mouth on his, so forceful it nearly toppled them both over.

“Oh! Mmm,” Tommy moaned into the kiss, resting his hand at the base of Buck's neck.

“Yes,” Buck said, dazed as he pulled back far enough to speak.

“What?”

“Yes.”

“Bu- Evan, I didn't ask yet. Not the- I don't have a ring.”

“I don't care, Tommy. Yes. I'm saying yes. Yes?”

It took Tommy's mouth a second to catch up with his brain, but once it did he was nodding, his eyes filling with tears. “Yes. Of course, yes,” he replied, both of them laughing giddily before crashing their lips back together.

Everyone except for Hen was upstairs relaxing between calls. Bobby and Buck were at the table, planning out next week's meals. Eddie was fixing himself a cup of coffee. Chimney was on the couch, reading a book.

“We're all going out for beers after our shift,” Eddie said, glancing at Buck. “You in?”

Buck nodded. “Yeah, I'm in.”

He'd been trying lately. Trying to do things other than work and sleep. He'd gone to the zoo with Jee a couple times over the past month. He'd gone to Bobby's for dinner. Watched a game at Eddie's place. Met Maddie and Chimney for brunch. He'd even gone over to Hen's one night when she was home alone and they'd gotten hammered while discussing their various traumas.

Every one of these occasions had ended with him in his car, or a cab, sobbing uncontrollably.

But he was trying.

Hen walked up the stairs, a worried expression on her face. “What's up with you?” Chimney asked, first to notice.

“Uh... Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“There's a... a secret service agent here for you.”

All eyes were on her now.

A... a what?”

Before Hen could get in another word, a man in a suit walked up behind her.

Buck stood, recognizing the man right away. It was the same man who had come to his door to let him know about Tommy. His heart sunk. How could this possibly get worse?

“Detective Farrow?”

“Mr. Buckley-Kinard,” he greeted. “It's actually Special Agent Farrow, but you can all me John.”

“I- I don't-”

“I know this is a bit odd,” he continued, “and was not something I actually wanted to do. I was going to hold off until you were home, but he refused to wait another minute.”

“I- what are you talking about? Who?”

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs interrupted whatever John was about to reply.

Suddenly there was a very familiar, very alive Tommy standing in front of them, smiling brightly at the sight of Buck. “Hi, Evan.”

“Holy shit.” The words escaped Chimney's mouth without him realizing.

Hen followed right after with an, “Oh my God.”

Eddie felt his coffee cup slip from his hand and shatter against the countertop. No one even noticed.

Bobby was standing right beside Buck, thankfully, because he had to quickly reach out and grab onto him before he fell to the ground. He managed to whip a chair around and get Buck seated as he stared, mouth agape, at his husband.

His alive husband.

His breathing husband.

His not-buried-in-the-cemetery husband.

“Evan,” Tommy stepped forward, but Buck held his arm out to stop him.

“What the hell is going on?”

Tommy was confused. Buck sounded angry, and scared. He looked around at all the other faces staring back at him. “Why... Why do you all look like you've seen a ghost?” he asked.

Chimney walked up to Tommy, poking him on the shoulder. “Because you're dead. At least, you're supposed to be.”

Tommy raised his eyebrows. “I'm what?” He turned to John. “Why would they think that?”

John cleared his throat, eyes gazing downward. “There's a lot we need to discuss, Mr. Buckley-Kinard.”

“Why would they think I was dead?” Tommy repeated, angry now.

“Because that's what we were told,” Hen answered.

Tommy stepped closer to John. “You told them I was dead?”

“We couldn't risk anyone knowing-”

“You told my husband I was dead?!”

“-that you were alive. It would have put everyone-”

“And you lied to me to keep me there?!”

“-in danger. It was easier this way.”

“That was not the deal!”

“Everyone shut up!” Buck's voice rang out over the station. He got out of his seat, Bobby keeping a hand near his back until he was sure Buck was steady.

Buck cautiously moved toward Tommy, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “You- You're really here?”

All of the anger Tommy had for John fell away as he looked into Buck's eyes. He nodded. “I'm here. I'm so sorry, Buck, I didn't-”

Buck shook his head, “I- I don't care right now.” He brought a hand up to Tommy's chest. Felt the thump-thump-thump of his heart. The firmness of his chest. He felt up until he reached Tommy's collarbone, poking ever so slightly out from his shirt. Felt the warmth of his skin. The slight dip that led up to his neck that Buck always loved to linger on when they were alone in bed. He felt the roughness of a two day old beard as he felt up his neck and toward his jawbone. “My God.” The words were hushed, breathed out through trembling lips and red-rimmed eyes. He pressed their lips together so quickly, so urgently, that Tommy didn't even have time to register it. He moaned into the kiss, finally reaching out and wrapping his arms around Buck's waist, finding their home at the base of his back.

“Let's give them a minute,” Bobby said, gesturing for everyone to head downstairs.

“I need to brief them,” John replied, earning him a glare from everyone else in the room.

“We're giving them a minute,” Bobby demanded.

John didn't try to protest any further. He simply followed the others downstairs, allowing Buck and Tommy time to reconnect.

“I didn't know,” Tommy began, he and Buck seated on the couch. “I was never told that you thought I was dead.”

“I am so confused, Tommy, I don't... I'm not even sure if this is real, to be honest. Am I dreaming? I haven't... I haven't had a dream since you died. Is that what this is?”

Tommy shook his head. “It's not a dream, Evan.”

“Then what the hell happened?” Buck asked, going from anxious to frustrated, “Cause I'm kinda pissed.”

Tommy scooted closer to Buck, cautiously holding out his hands for Buck to take. There was hesitation, but Buck gave in.

“The night I went to the grocery store, I saw something. I, it was a murder.”

Buck's eyes widened. “A what?”

“Yeah, I know. When I was leaving the store, I went out the back way to avoid all the traffic at the main entrance. It was getting dark, and when I passed by the dumpsters out back I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I- this guy had shot another man. I got a good look at him, and he got a good look at me too, but he ran. I got out of the car, called 911, and tried to help the other guy, but he was dead.”

“I... My brain feels like it's about to explode, Tommy. I don't understand how this leads to me planning your funeral.”

Tears came to Tommy's eyes at the thought. He continued, “The police came first, and they were asking for descriptions and any information I had. Then, the FBI shows up, and the CIA, and suddenly I'm surrounded by agents from every agency that goes by initials. This guy, whoever I saw, was apparently a hitman. A good one. Like, ties to Russia and shit. Anyway, I'm being tossed into a van and told my life's in danger because this guy saw me.”

“This sounds like a really bad cop thriller, Tommy.”

Tommy let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, I know, believe me. But these agents are telling me that I need protection, this man has killed for less before, blah blah blah. They said he'd killed an entire family because the mom had witnessed one of his hits.”

Buck scoffed. “Apparently he's not that good if he keeps getting caught.”

“Evan,” Tommy said, eyes pleading, “they showed me crime scene pictures of what this man had done. Told me he'd do the same to you if I went home. It was... It was horrific.”

“They wouldn't even let you call me? Tell me you were okay? I was- I went through hell these past eight months.”

“They took my phone, said anything electronic was a risk. Said if I declined protection, if I went home to you, I was basically signing your death certificate. But I told them- I told them that I had to let you know something and they said to write you a letter. I wrote one every week. They said they'd deliver it to you.”

“They did not deliver any letters.”

“Yeah, I'm getting that now. Evan, I swear I had no idea they were going to tell you I was dead. No idea.” Tommy clung onto Buck's hands tighter, and Buck couldn't ignore the pang in his chest at having Tommy in front of him. Alive. With him. Beside him. Holding him.

“I believe you.” He was being honest. He did believe Tommy. He knew Tommy would do anything to keep him safe. He also knew Tommy would never agree to making Buck feel the way he had felt for the last eight months. “I am just... I am so confused right now. This all sounds so crazy and over- overwhelming, Tommy. And I really wanna punch that John guy, whoever the fuck he is. And I want-” he cleared his throat, eyes red with unshed tears. “I wanna go home, Tommy.”

Unable to hold himself back any longer, he leaned into Tommy. They met each other halfway, their foreheads pressed together. Buck reached up and cupped Tommy's cheeks, brushing his thumbs against the rough stubble. They closed their eyes and breathed each other in. Buck whispered, “Can we go home?”

John wanted to sit with them and go over everything before they left, but the boiling over rage from the both of them was evident, so he made a plan to speak with them the next day.

After brief hugs and hello's, along with endless apologies to everyone at the 118, Tommy and Buck left.

The ride home was oddly, but comfortably, quiet. Neither were totally sure what to say. Tommy had basically been a prisoner in a safe house for eight months until the FBI found this hitman. Buck had been living in a prison of his own, thinking the love of his life had been burned and buried.

“Home sweet home,” Buck said as they pulled into the driveway. He let go of Tommy's hand long enough for them to get out of the car.

They were interlaced once again as soon as Tommy walked around the Jeep.

Buck needed the touch. Needed to stay connected to Tommy somehow, so he didn't wake up from whatever dream he was in. If this wasn't reality, he wanted to stay wherever it was for the rest of his life.

They walked into the house slowly, Buck a step ahead of Tommy, leading the way.

Once the door was shut behind them, Tommy began looking around.

Everything was... the same. Besides a few of his houseplants being gone, but they never stood a chance in the first place.

Tommy stepped in front of Buck, gave his hand a squeeze before letting go, and continued further into the house.

Buck's body ached at the loss of Tommy's touch, but he let him go. Knew this was overwhelming for him too.

“You kept all my stuff,” Tommy noted, moving into the living room.

“Of course I did.”

“Even though you thought I was-”

“A part of me didn't believe it. I kept telling people that something felt wrong. Everyone said I was in denial; that I'd move on when I was ready.”

“God, this is so fucked up.” Tommy turned to face Buck. The space between them felt as though they might as well be a thousand miles apart. “It's okay if you're mad,” he said. “I understand.”

“I- I am mad,” Buck admitted. He moved closer to Tommy. Everything still felt so surreal. He wasn't even sure if this was actually happening right now. “I don't think I'm mad at you though. I- I'm mad at them.”

“Who?”

There were so many to choose from. “Everyone who took you away from me.”

Tommy nodded. “I'm mad at them too. They wasted eight damn months of my life. Our life.”

Buck cleared any remaining distance between them. He brought his hands to Tommy's waist slowly, dragging his hands up and down his sides, feeling the defined muscles that rested just beneath his shirt.

Tommy sunk into the touch. He watched Buck as he stared at his body. Looked over every inch of him to make sure Tommy wasn't a figment of his imagination.

Tommy brought a hand to Buck's chin, gently tilting his head up until their eyes met. “Can I kiss you?” he asked softly.

Buck sucked in a breath. “Please.”

Tommy brought their lips together gently, both of their bodies shaking with the need to be closer. Feel more.

Buck fisted Tommy's shirt in his hands, pushed their bodies as close as they could go with how they were standing.

Tommy brought his hands to the nape of Buck's neck as the kiss deepened. Their tongues met with a moan, teeth clashing together before Buck pulled back just far enough speak against Tommy's lips. “I don't want to be mad right now,” he whispered like a secret.

Tommy kissed him again. “What do you want?” he asked.

Buck slowly raised Tommy's shirt, just enough to get his hands underneath. He scratched his fingernails down Tommy's abs, causing Tommy to suck in a sharp breath. Chills covered his body.

Buck kissed Tommy's lips, then his cheek, this nipped at his jawline until he reached his ear. “I wanna to fuck you,” he answered.

They clumsily stumbled into the bedroom, stripping themselves of their clothes before falling onto the bed. “You've been working out a lot,” Buck noted between kisses, hands roaming over Tommy's body.

Tommy pressed himself against Buck, their cocks rubbing together, eliciting a groan from them both.

“There was quite literally nothing else to do,” Tommy replied.

Their bodies moved together so perfectly. Just like always. Like they had never been apart at all.

Tommy sucked on Buck's bottom lip, listening to the stunted gasps that escaped him with every thrust.

“You're so fucking beautiful,” Tommy said breathlessly. He bit at a spot on Buck's neck, Buck's hands tangling in Tommy's hair and tugging firmly.

“Tom- Tommy,” he whimpered out. “You gotta. I wanna- You gotta stop,” he managed to get out.

Tommy whined, but stopped his movements. The sound earned him a laugh from Buck. He caressed Tommy's cheek until he looked at him. “Wanna fuck you, remember? Not gonna last long if- if you keep going.”

Tommy nodded. He was seconds away from coming himself. It was easy to get lost in the feeling with Buck. Easy to lose control.

With one swift movement, Buck flipped them so he was on top. He may not have been working out as much as Tommy over the last few months, but he did have a lot of sessions with a punching bag recently, and right now he felt ready to take on the world.

Buck ran his hand over Tommy's chest, let his fingernails drag over his nipple, Tommy arching into the touch. He felt over every ab, traced Tommy's scar, moved down to his stomach. It was all so torturously slow, but so fucking wonderful.

He kissed his way down Tommy's body, stopping at his cock. He stared up at Tommy with heavy lidded eyes as he spit, letting the drool drip down from his mouth onto the head of Tommy's dick. “The first time I touched myself,” Buck said, finally taking Tommy's cock in his hand, dragging his hand up and down leisurely as Tommy's eyes fluttered shut, “after... you know.”

“Mhm.” Tommy managed to open his eyes again, trying to focus on Buck and his words instead of the warm, wet hand gliding over him.

“I had to stop. I tried to- to touch myself the way you always touched me, but I- I couldn't do it.”

“Oh God, Evan.” Tommy fucked himself into Buck's tight fist. He brought their lips together sloppily. “Wanna touch you like that again.”

Buck nodded. “You will,” he promised. “But not right now. Right now I need to be in you.”

“Please.”

Buck let go of Tommy long enough to reach into the bedside table and grab the lube. He put some on, Tommy spreading his legs as Buck reached down and slowly began inserting his finger.

“Ah,” Tommy gasped. He reached up and pulled Buck down for another kiss as Buck slowly pumped his finger in and out.

“You're so tight,” Buck panted into Tommy's mouth.

“Been a while.” Tommy began to grind down against Buck's finger, moaning loudly when it hit the perfect spot.

“Shit,” Buck whined. “You haven't... You didn't?”

“A finger or two.” Tommy planted his feet on the bed, getting better leverage to work himself up and down on Buck. “A- Another, Evan, please.”

Buck obliged, adding another finger along the first, eliciting a string of curses from Tommy.

“Fuck, fuck, fucking shit! It was never the same,” he added quickly, going back to the conversation. “Didn't- God, didn't feel like this. Evan, more!”

Buck silenced a moan with his mouth as he added a third finger, grinding his cock against Tommy's thigh. He knew he wasn't gonna last long. Knew Tommy wouldn't either. It didn't matter though. They had plenty of time to make up for what was lost.

“I- I'm ready. Just... I need-”

“I know.” Another kiss and Buck slipped his fingers out of Tommy. Tommy grabbed the lube from the side of the bed and tossed it in Buck's direction, getting a laugh out of him.

Soon enough, Buck had Tommy's legs on his shoulders and his cock was slowly, slowly, so fucking slowly, entering Tommy.

They stared into each others eyes, Tommy slack-jawed with tiny, breathy grunts escaping him every time Buck inched closer.

After what felt like an eternity, Buck bottomed out. He stilled, breathing heavily. “I gotta. Just. I need a second.”

“S'okay.” Tommy reached out and grabbed for Buck's hands, which were currently gripping Tommy's thighs. “S'okay,” he repeated.

A few seconds later, Buck began to move.

Slowly at first, letting Tommy get used to the feeling again. Hell, letting him get used to the feeling again.

“Ev- ah- Evan?”

“Yeah?”

“I- ah- I. I need-”

“What? What do- do you need?”

“Oh shit!" Tommy yelled as Buck snapped his hips forward. "Fuck me, Evan!”

That was all Buck needed to hear. He pushed himself up slightly, to get a better position, and began moving faster, faster, faster, harder, harder, harder. Each thrust pulled a new sound out of Tommy. Low, guttural groans.

The sound of their skin slapping together, the feeling of the sweat covering their bodies, the heat between them, the desperation over all they thought they'd lost.

It was too much.

“Evan, I- I'm gonna come.” He'd never been able to come untouched before. Always needed a hand on his cock to get there. Not this time though. He came with a sound so loud, Buck was sure the neighbors at the other end of the street could hear.

Tommy's legs dropped off of Buck's shoulders, but he quickly wrapped them around his back to make sure he didn't go anywhere.

“Tommy,” Buck gasped, each movement now with far less rhythm. “Tommy, i- is this real?”

Tommy pulled Buck closer, his fingernails digging into Buck's back. He moaned as Buck drove in deeper. “It's- I'm real,” he managed to breathe out. “I'm here, Evan.”

Buck groaned loudly, mouth pressed close to Tommy's ear, coming deep inside him. After a couple lighter, gentler thrusts, Buck stopped. He practically dropped all his body weight on top of Tommy. Tommy kept his legs wrapped tightly around him. Neither could seem to let the other go just yet.

Buck hid his head into Tommy's neck. “I missed you so much,” he whimpered out, both men trying to catch their breath. Tommy could feel the wetness of Buck's tears on his neck. “God, I- I missed you.”

Tommy brought his hands to Buck's head, carding his fingers through his hair. “I missed you every damn second of every damn day,” he replied.

After they cleaned up, Buck curled back into Tommy, intertwining their bodies at every point he could manage. Tommy wrapped Buck into his arms, and Buck laid his head on Tommy's chest. They laid in silence for a while, allowing themselves to feel and be felt for the first time in so long.

Buck was the first to break the silence, letting the words fall out like a secret admission. “John came to the house the day after you went missing. They... They said your car had been in an accident. That you, um, that it had caught on fire w- with you inside.”

Tommy's body stiffened underneath him. “Baby, if... if I'd known-”

“I know,” Buck assured him. He ran his hand up and down over Tommy's chest until he relaxed again. “I know it wasn't you.”

“I'm gonna ask John if he still has my letters,” Tommy said.

“You really wrote me letters?” Buck asked, stealing a glance up at Tommy.

“Mhm. I'm sure they all thought I was an absolute idiot, especially seeing as it was all a lie, but yeah, every week.”

Buck pressed a kiss to Tommy's pec before lying back down. “I hope they exist somewhere. I'd love to read them.”

“They were really fucking depressing. Turns out I don't handle being without you very well.”

“Oh, you should've seen me.” Buck traced circle patterns along Tommy's chest. “This was the first month I started trying. Trying to get back out and do things with people... I'm glad I don't have to try anymore.”

“That's probably something we should talk about, especially with our jobs.” He snuggled further under the covers, wrapping Buck even tighter in his arms. “Not tonight though.”

“No, not tonight,” Buck agreed.

They still had a lot to talk about. A lot of things that had to be sorted. Questions that needed answers. Issues that would need to be resolved.

But, for tonight, the only thing they needed was each other.

Each other, and the first good night's sleep for them both since the day Tommy disappeared.

That night, once sleep took over, Buck dreamt.

[vodika-vibes]

i know i just requested something (so sorry abt this😭😭) but i just thought of this!!

a modern AU meet cute with fives!! like a romantic little thing with a gn reader please!! maybe in a cafe or restaurant bc i love food lol

Coffee Cake

Summary: You are a busy person, always running hither and thither, running errands for your boss, your coworkers, and your family. And, every morning, you stop at the same cafe for coffee and a piece of coffee cake and hope that the cute barista will finally notice you.

Pairing: ARC Trooper Fives x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1440

Prompts: Modern AU

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: So this is less meet cute and more they already had their meet cute and are now friends who want more. I hope you don't mind! I also wrote this in under an hour, without any coffee because I have bloodwork this morning, so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes. And I'm, like, 90% sure that I kept this GN, but if I didn't just let me know!

The cafe smells like fresh coffee and fresh pastries. It’s probably the most comforting scent that you know, comforting enough that the moment you step through the doors, stress just falls off your shoulders. 

Stress is a regular part of your life.

Well, okay.

Stress is a regular part of everyone’s lives, but you seem to have twice as much stress compared to everyone you’ve ever spoken to.

“Babe,” They say, “Babe, you’re doing too much. You need to slow down.” And then they dump three weeks' worth of needs on you, and your stress levels just skyrocket.

At this time of day, though, so early that the birds are still waking up and the sun is just barely creeping over the horizon, there are not many people in the cafe. So you’re able to move over to your favorite table and drop all of your stuff on the table.

Technically, your work day doesn’t start for another hour, but you have some emails you need to send, and a speech you need to read over and correct for your friend. Not to mention, Mom needs you to make reservations for her, Dad, and your older sister and brother-in-law at a 5-star resort on the other side of the country.

And then your workday will properly start.

Yay.

You think it’s kind of telling that you’re not invited to the resort for the vacation that you’re scheduling for your family, but you’re not going to call them out on it.

This time.

You jump when someone raps their knuckles on your table, and then turn your head to look at the man standing just to your left.

Tall and broad, with curly hair, a neatly trimmed goatee, and a 5 tattooed on his temple, Fives is probably the biggest reason that you regularly visit this cafe rather than one of the dozens of other cafes in the city.

A small smile crosses your face when you see him standing there, “Good morning, Fives,”

“Morning yourself, early bird,” He teases as he reaches out a tugs on one of your curls, “The coffee cake isn’t done yet, but I do have your coffee.” He sets the paper cup on the table next to your laptop, “Peppermint cream and two sugars, just how you like it.”

You sigh, “You’re an angel among men, Fives.”

He smirks at you, “Oh, I know.”

You laugh quietly and sink into a chair, resting your chin on your knuckles as you look up at him, “Busy morning?”

“Never,” Fives replies as he leans his hip against the table, “You know we have some regulars, but the majority of our clientele is made up of my brothers.”

“Well, you do have a lot of them,” You joke as you pick up the cup and take a sip of the cafe and then pull it back to look at it in surprise, “Did you put—?”

“Whipped cream? Yes, I did. With some chocolate shavings.” Fives replies smugly.

You set the cup back on the table and look up at him, “Marry me?”

“You only want me for my coffee.” He counters with a grin, “I wanted to try something new, if you like it enough I’m going to add it to the menu.”

“Ah, and here I thought you just wanted to spoil me, not that I was playing taste-tester.”

“It can be both,” He says with a shrug, “Anyway, what mess are you cleaning up this morning?”

“Mm…I have some emails I need to send for work. My friend in the governor's office needs me to read over a speech she prepared for the Governer. Oh, and my parents and sister need me to book them a stay in a 5-star resort when they go on vacation.”

“You’re going on vacation?”

“Well, I wasn’t invited.”

“Wait, you weren’t invited but you still have to do all of the work?”

“Yup.”

“Don’t do it.”

“If I don’t then it won’t get done,” You reply.

“Then it doesn’t get done, it’s not your problem.”

You sigh softly, “Honestly, it’s fine. I don’t have time for a vacation anyway.”

Fives stares at you for a moment and then drops into the seat next to you. He smells like coffee and pastries, and there’s a smudge of powdered sugar on his cheek, and it’s all very distracting. 

“You,” Fives says as he takes your laptop and shoves it back into your bag, “do too much. When was the last time you took a vacation?”

“Uh…I dunno, five years ago, maybe? My sister’s wedding.”

“And was that an actual vacation, or did she make you play wedding planner?” Fives asks.

“...I’m feeling very attacked right now.”

“Good, you should.” He takes your hands in his so you aren’t able to grab your laptop, “You deserve better.”

“They’re my family and my friends,”

“Them being family only excuses so much,” Fives counters, “And you need better friends.”

“It’s not that easy, Fives. Can I have my laptop back?”

“No. This is rest time.”

You sigh, “Fives—”

“The bags under your eyes are so deep that they can probably carry all of my clothes with room to spare,”

You pull back and shoot him an offended look, “That’s mean,”

“I’m worried about you.” He releases one of your hands so he’s able to pull your chair closer, and you can feel his warmth radiating off him, “There’s more to life than…this.” He gestures to the pile of work stuff.

“I know that! I do. I’m just…busy, that’s all.”

Fives watches you for a moment, and then he smiles, “Do you dance?”

“I…what?”

“Dance? Do you dance?”

“Not well,” You reply slowly, “I’m not very coordinated.”

“Well, I’m going clubbing tonight with my brothers,” Fives says, “Come with me.”

“To the club?”

“Yeah.”

“And do what? Sit there and watch other people dance and drink?” You ask.

“Don’t be obtuse,” He rolls his eyes, “You’ll dance with me. I’ll make sure you get home safe.”

You stare at him, bemused, “You want to dance with me?”

“I want a lot of things. But I’ll settle for dancing for now.” He grins at you and continues before you’re able to ask him about his comment, “Anyway, are you in? It’ll be fun~”

You sigh softly, “Yeah, okay. I’ll go dancing with you tonight.”

The broad grin that crosses his face surprises you, though you’re not sure why you’re so surprised. Fives always gets excited when you say that you’re trying something new.

“That’s great! The dress code is whatever you can move in, I’m sure you’ll look amazing,” Fives says, his voice very excited, “But, I have to get back to work. I’ll bring you your coffee cake as soon as it’s done.”

You smile at him fondly, “Fives,”

He pauses before he stands, “Yeah?”

“You have sugar on your cheek,” He blinks at you and wipes his cheek, only to miss the sugar, and you laugh softly, “Hold on, I got it.” You reach out and lightly brush the sugar off of his cheek and onto the floor, “There. Perfect,”

You start to pull your hand back only for him to grab your wrist and, in one smooth motion, he pulls you towards him and crashes his lips against yours. 

You release a surprised noise, and then you melt into him, your free hand coming up to rest against his chest.

In your experience, first kisses are supposed to be soft and gentle. But this one isn’t. It’s deep and probing as if Fives is trying to determine what makes you tick with every press of his lips against yours.

You could lose yourself in him if you had the chance, so it’s probably a good thing that Hevy yells at Fives from behind the counter, “Oi!” He shouts as he flings a ball of paper at his younger brother, “Stop making out with your girl and get back behind the counter.”

Fives flips his brother off without looking away from you, and there’s a small smile on his face as his hand lingers against your cheek. He leans in as if he’s going to kiss you again, only for his twin to jerk him out of the seat.

“I’m happy for you, Fives. But you need to get back to work. Now.” Echo hisses as he drags Fives away from the table.

You lightly press your fingers against your lips, they’re tingling a little bit. And, for the first time in your life, you’re looking forward to going out tonight. 

And, judging by the goofy grin on Fives’ face, tonight can’t happen fast enough.

[kiddbegins]

Begin Again • M. Casey

Requested: no Word count: 3.2k warnings: none?

A/n: this was originally something I wrote for an oc x evan Buckley that I never posted so thats why there's like actual names and back story stuff ..

Masterlist

You stood in your bedroom, digging around through your clothes for the right thing to wear. Was this a casual thing? Yes. Did you want to dress super casual? No. Because this was the first time in months that you were allowing yourself to have an ounce of happiness. Allowing yourself to go out there and let someone see the rawest form a girl could have.

The outfit you chose went perfectly with a pair of heels you had bought last year but never worn. Jeremy never let you. Not to a party, not even to a business meeting he had had. So really it was a mystery if they fit. Guess now was a good time to try them on… right?

Hesitantly, you slipped the shoes on, double checking yourself in the full length mirror behind your door. It was good. It was nice, didn’t scream business meeting or ‘hey let's ditch and have sex’, and considering you had work in only a couple hours and this was just coffee and pastries at a cafe, it felt perfect.

Your parents were out, their ritual was to have breakfast out at least twice a week. Today was one of the days so you were alone in your thoughts as you left the house. You plugged your phone into your car to play some music for the drive. Only fifteen minutes.

And those fifteen minutes were full of anxiety. Would Matt like your outfit? Like you on the side of things where you weren’t a firefighter? Your heart was racing but you shook your head. If it didn’t work out like that, you’d be friends. Regardless of status, you’d already interacted enough to stay friends if everything plummeted.

You had to keep reminding yourself that as you parked, all the spaces for the block were taken so you were a bit away when you finally got out. The cafe was around the corner and you fiddled with the hem of your shirt before starting the walk there. 

With every step you went over what you expected to happen. You thought you were a boring, unfunny mess so if anything Matt would probably get out of there earlier than expected, causing you to carry your half of the check and head to work licking your wounds. 

The bell above the door jingled, alerting anyone around of your presence and you spotted your date at a table in the middle of the room. He saw you almost instantly, how could he not? Everytime the bell rang from the front he turned in his seat to see if you were now coming his way. The first 7 times it wasn’t, but it was now.

Instantly, he stood, smiling widely while waving you over. You walked over to him, letting out a light breath before smiling back at him. It was impossible not to. “Hey,” He went in for a hug, wrapping his arms lightly around you before moving to pull the chair out for you. Something you were not used to one bit.

“Hi,” You smiled softly, sitting in the seat and watching as he moved to sit back down. He’d already had a cup of coffee on the table but that was it, it seems he was waiting for you to even have something to nibble on. “How’s your morning been?” You added, a lady coming over to get an order in for the two.

Once she left, Matt shrugged. “Can’t complain. Not gonna lie I was worried you weren’t going to show.” He offered right off the bat, causing Your eyebrows to raise. And here you were thinking that he wasn’t going to be all that excited to see her.

You hid a smile before shaking your head, “I’m not exactly a flaker.” 

“Thank god, imagine how embarrassing that’d be for me.” He joked, taking a sip of his extremely light coffee. 

You noticed the color of it and chuckled lightly. “How much cream is in that cup?”

“Probably about 50% of it.” He laughed and shook his head, “Nah, maybe like 4 of those little cups they give you. She gave me a weird look when I was putting them in too.” He sat back as your coffee was brought out along with two muffins. One chocolate chip, one blueberry. The chocolate one was Matt’s.

You reached over and grabbed three of the equal packets, swirling it into your coffee. “Dark and sweet.” Matt spoke, “Light and bitter, two sides of a coin.” He stated and you nodded. If it were Jeremy he would have rolled his eyes and told you not to waste the sugar in a drink where you can’t even taste it.

The thought of him made you shift in your seat, crossing your ankles loosely. Matt didn’t notice the slight change in demeanor so he leaned forward slightly. “Not to be the person that asks a million questions on a first date but this is a need to know, what music do you listen to? Because I listen to a mix of like rock and pop but I don’t think I can stand someone that listens to hard rap or something. No offense if you do but-”

“Matt,” You cut in with a laugh, shaking your head. “I don’t listen to hard rap. Or country really? Though there are some songs that I could scream at the top of my lungs. Mainly classic rock, my dad was a big metal head in his day and age. And of course hispanic music, being Cuban I couldn’t go any night in the summer without my neighbors blaring the music so loud that I’m positive you could hear it three blocks away.” You tended to ramble when it came to things you liked talking about.

Music was one of those topics. You could go on and on about the classic rock band Queen, or Fleetwood Mac to Celia Cruz. “Yeah? Around my neighborhood if the neighbors could hear your music then you were being an inconvenience.” Matt countered, looking at you with awe. “But I’m glad we got that covered, cause like I said, I’m peculiar about my music choices.”

“I feel like everyone is peculiar in their taste of something. Like for instance if you like mint chocolate chip ice cream I might have to just up and leave this table right now,” Now you were joking to an extent but the taste of that flavor ice cream made you want to gag.

By the look on Matt’s face, he was guilty of your charge, “Okay well this was nice,” you fake got up before shaking your head, “No I’m kidding but don’t ever ask me to have a bite.” 

He held up his right hand and nodded, “Swear.” A solid laugh came out of his mouth, catching you by surprise. Nobody ever thought you were funny. Any joke you tried to do was met with a blank face, maybe a pair of rolled eyes before the conversation continued.  

In response to Matt’s laugh a grin spread on your face, “What’s your favorite band? You said you like classic rock right?” You asked, picking off a piece of your muffin to eat. 

He didn’t answer right away, there was a clear sign of thought on his face. Thinking over his answer. “Hm, I like a lot of them, what a heavy question.” He mumbled with a light smile, looking down at his hands in a bout of concentration.

“Cause like, Queens iconic, so many good songs. But if I’m honest I really like The Animals. They have some really good songs. House of the Rising Sun is a classic.”

“No way, that’s been one of my favorites since I was little. I had a neighbor when I was a kid that only listened to like obscure bands and they were one of them. I have basically all of their albums in some form.” you rushed out excitedly, seeing the smile on Matt’s face widen as you spoke more.

The boy leaned forward happily, “You get it! God I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that actually likes their music or has it anywhere but Spotify.”

You two rambled about classic rock for the next twenty minutes, who the best Beatles member was, which Motley Crue song they listened to most. It was as if you two were catching up after not seeing each other for ages rather than a first date.

“You know,” Matt randomly spoke after a moment of silence for both of them to drink the coffees in front of them. “I never understood the people that call the sun a planet.” He finally took a bite of his muffin and it was giant. The entire top was basically off of it, that's how big of a bite it was.

Your eyebrows raised in surprise as Matt ate it peacefully. “For example, I was out on this call once, and the guy was making a solar system diorama for his kid. But the sun was labeled a planet. Only noticed because he had somehow managed to get a skewer through his cheek, was going to leave that out but felt like you’d ask how I’d notice that little detail. Anyway I tried to correct him but he insisted he was right.”

He rolled his eyes. Finishing the top of his muffin while you were still picking at yours. Though you were a sucker for talking about music or things you were interested in, when it came to stuff you weren't knowledgeable on or didn’t like, you fell quiet. Shy even.

“I love space, I don’t really know much but it’s so beautiful. I’d love to visit like Mars, or maybe one that hasn’t been visited.” You offered, there wasn’t much you knew about space so you just offered up the closest thing that you did. It was beautiful.

He finished off his coffee before looking at her, “Same, but I’m staying away from venus. You know it's the hottest planet in the solar system? You’d think it’s mercury but nope, venus.” Matt spewed off a random fact, catching your attention more than he already did.

You flinched back as your face twisted in confusion, “Oh? Why?” You were interested in what he had to say, maybe it was the idea of still learning new things at 26 or maybe it was his excited expression as he thought over what he was gonna say briefly before talking. Whichever it was, he was ready to offer up any information.

“Mercury has almost no atmosphere, which is what would hold in the heat from the sun. Unlike Venus, which has a suuuuper thick and heavy atmosphere. Have you ever been in a real greenhouse?” Matt was talking with his hands the entire time, and you could pinpoint the excitement down his fingers.

“Uh…” You had to think, Rhode Island didn’t have many areas for stuff like that. “I don’t think I can say I have.” New York didn’t have any either, well, at least not that you knew of.

Matt scooched his seat closer, trying to keep his voice to where only the two of them could hear. “Well, Venus’ atmosphere makes it like a greenhouse, super hot and toxic. I’m talking ‘melt and erode you’ toxic.” He went on for a few minutes about the atmosphere and how Venus didn’t have enough water to bring co2 levels down and there was too much sulfur.

You simply sat with your legs crossed and listened. Hopefully some of the information would stick and you’d be able to tell your parents about the planets and everything else Matt was so happily rambling about.

Both of their drinks were gone by now and same went for their muffins. The last ten minutes had just been pointless conversation about whatever came up as a topic.

 “So why’d you become a firefighter?” You asked, finally landing on the reason the two had even met. And what a terrifying first day it was. Matt’s face twinged down, causing you to lean forward slightly. “Unless you don’t want to talk about it.” You offered.

It was ingrained in your mind to always make sure the other person being talked to was comfortable. “I do, I became a firefighter because I knew that helping people, and having a sort of reason to my life was what I needed.” He offered, his eyes going down to a random stain on the table. A spot of coffee that he had spilt earlier.

“From what I saw at that highrise, you’re doing good.” You offered. It was true, hearing how he (and Kelly) had handled both the girl and the injured man during that earthquake was amazing. 

He slightly nodded, seeming to get into his head for a moment or so, some sort of hidden demon in his mind grabbing a hold while he sat for a nice morning meal. “Anyway, what about you?” He was good at diverting, bringing the conversation to someone other than himself when it came to topics that he didn’t want to talk about.

It was something he had developed the skill for in his earlier 20’s. 

“Oh-, well, when I was younger my mom had really bad chest pains. So bad that she couldn’t even move to call 911. I was like, 12? Had never had something like that happen. She managed to get me to call them and they talked me through everything but being so vulnerable, so… open to the worst possible outcome, made me realize I want to help others the way that person at dispatch helped me.” The wrapped for the muffin was rolled and still being twisted between your fingers as you spoke.

It was hard then, your dad had been just out of town for some lawsuit, and your mom was so scared. Sarah was out with friends and Charlie was just a baby. Matt’s face fell soft, it seemed like a horrifying moment for anyone, especially a preteen. 

“I’m sorry. Did she end up being okay?” He tentatively asked, unsure of what else to really say, parents can be a touchy subject. Trust that he knew. When you nodded he let out a soft sigh of relief.

You placed the wrapper down gently, “Oh, yeah yeah, she made it. Everything was fine. Emphasis on was.” In an attempt to cut herself off from talking you dragged your eyes across the nearly spotless floors of the cafe.

Peaking at the strangers and how happy they seemed to be in their own social bubbles. When your eyes came back to Matt’s he had a look that came off like he wanted to know more, “I say was cause um, she has breast cancer now. Late stages. Don’t know if she’ll be able to get better but I’m okay, please, please, don’t give me that pity look.” It was one you didn’t know well in your own experience but had seen it enough around to point it out.

On Matt it was his eyebrows tugging down along with the corners of his lips. “I’m not trying to, but I just, I am sorry that sucks. A lot. We can change the subject. Like, dream vacation spot?” He threw on a happy aura that slowly but surely dragged you out by the hair.

“Hm, Venice probably. I want to ride on a gondola more than I want anything in this world. Maybe even more than be a firefighter.” You joked softly, earning another soft chuckle from the blonde across from you. 

He nodded, his smile still as bright as the north star, “That’s a solid choice. I have a lot of choices and that’s definitely up there.” Which wasn’t exactly a proper answer to the question but seeing as it was pretty much time for them to head out, you didn’t question it.

Both of your watches beeped: ten past nine. Meaning it was time to go. Matt stood first, tossing both of their trash away. Easily he pushed his chair in and offered his hand out to you for you to take, leading them out of the building.

“This is kind of good, both working the same, or similar in time shifts. Makes hanging out wayy easier.” Matt stated, squinting as you stepped back into the sun, your opposite hand going up to shield your eyes. He was right.

Dating as a first responder was hard. It isn’t easy for people that don’t get it. Same goes for doctors and such. Being with someone that has an odd schedule is difficult to adjust to. But other firefighters or paramedics could make it work.

As you walked down to your car, just chatting, you wanted to tell him a million things. How you felt more accepted in this short date than the entirety of your last relationship. Or that him just getting you was such a refreshing change from Jeremy.

And you almost did.

Almost.

“You know, around this time of year my sister and I would always, always, watch the Halloween Town movies? It was always her favorite.” He broke their silence just a few feet from your car. Bringing the brunette’s attention back to him at that very moment.

She stopped them at the car, him looking it over. 2017 black Elantra. “Those are all really good movies. My favorite is the… third? One? The high school one.” You countered, facing him. 

“Personally I love the original. A true classic.” He offered, leaning against the car like a cool guy in an early 2000’s rom com. “What other movies do you like? Childish or not.” It felt as if he didn’t want this date to end. Not that you did either.

You held onto your purse strap tightly as you thought, “Childish would be Disney’s Hercules. None would be this comedy I saw a few years ago, Without A Paddle. Super funny.”

“Never heard of it.” Matt’s words caused you to gasp. It was an amazing movie.

You shook your head quickly. “What? You have to. It has Matthew Lillard in it and he's amazing. So are the other guys, Dax Shepard and Seth Green.” You listed off, the movie being so ingrained in your mind that you could pretty much quote half of it right in that moment.

Matt shrugged, “I’m sorry,” Quick glance to his watch, “I love this conversation but I have to go… maybe we can watch that together sometime?” He asked, causing you to stop mid sentence, a blush falling over your cheeks.

A second date. So this one went well. You went all out of your usual comfort zone and it went well. “Yeah, yeah we should.” You replied and Matt once again nodded, waving and giving his goodbyes before walking the way you’d come, to find his own truck.

Once he was gone you grinned widely, getting into your car. 

Everything about today was different. The past eight months had been nothing but hell. Love had scorned you more times than you could count, Jeremy worse than others. But Matt felt different. In a world of black cats he was a golden retriever. It was… refreshing? 

That wasn’t exactly the word that you wanted to use but it’s what you felt. Everything felt better. Bigger. Comfier.

So on this beautiful Wednesday morning. you could feel it Beginning Again.

JOIN MATTS TAGLIST HERE!

tags: @winchesterszvonecek, @halsteadbrasil, @wnbweasley, @firetruckstuckley

[jargonbyjulia]

“It’s impossible!”

I’ve heard the saying, “Mums get no days off.” It’s true and it isn’t. I know a couple of mums that get plenty of days off, with health retreats throughout the year, child-free holidays, and so on. Sometimes days off seem IMPOSSIBLE. Even getting through some days seems impossible. I get a few hours to myself; I like to get my nails done, and tomorrow I have a first hair appointment in six months - shock horror!

I have a two and a five year old, and I work part time. On Thursdays I work at home, and I like to think of that as my day “off”. I work in peace, I play my own music, I answer only to the ding of Teams’ notifications, emails and my stomach rumbles. Today is Thursday, and I had my two year old home sick from daycare. It’s barely just winter, and we’ve been knocked out at least twice already. I did my best to keep her entertained while I caught up on the work I started Tuesday, where seven meetings had me pretty tied up. We were doing fine, and she was enjoying being home with me, watching Peppa Pig on repeat, and eating through the snack shelf of the pantry.

At 11:00am, my daughter’s school called asking if I could pick up my preppy as she had a headache, fever and sore tummy. So I alerted work, bundled up my toddler and ran to the rescue. She wasn’t well, at all. We made her warm and gave her medicine, and suddenly it was 11:30am, which means nap time for the little one. I quickly answered emails, started writing an article and reviewed some work. I made sure miss five was comfortable and then put miss two down for her nap. After that, I made a quick couple of sandwiches for us, and ate at my desk. While answering 785 questions, including “How do you spell chicken?” and “What is 78 plus 802?” (from my child, not a colleague), I worked through my list for the day, trying my hardest to focus on the tasks at hand. Suddenly it’s 1:45pm and my two year old is awake, and I break my focus. Now it’s time to prepare her food and get her playing happily with her sister. It’s much easier than I had thought, so I can get back to my work. By 3pm, she’s sitting on my lap tapping away at the keys on my computer, asking why I have a spare TV (my second computer monitor) and she just has a lousy plastic phone with dead batteries.

The dog is whining as he hasn’t had a walk all day. My husband left for work at 8:30am, and he won’t be back until we are asleep at 10pm. Miss five goes downhill as suddenly as Melbourne’s morning temperatures, and needs her fever brought down, so there’s no leaving the house. I’m starting to think getting through this day is impossible, but we push through with more snacks, YouTube kids and a cranked heater.

At 4:30pm I’m cooking lamb chops from Monday and drafting my weekly wrap-up for work.

My phone rings. My husband asks, “How was your day?” I sigh and say it was busy. I read some feedback about my work as the kids eat dinner in front of the fire I made by rubbing two sticks together because everyone is “SO COLD!” and I take a breath. Only a quick one though, as I need to run the bath for two girls who identify solely as mermaids and then hit send on one more message before the end of the working day. COB they call it; Close of Business. (Mums don’t really have a COB though, do they?!)

I haven’t had a shower all day, and it’s 6:20pm. My youngest just shut her head in the fridge trying to make imaginary apple pie for the dog, there’s a full basket of clean laundry waiting to be folded on the kitchen table and I think the wombok I was relying on to substitute as salad leaf for my dinner is growing babies. But gosh, somehow I feel accomplished. There’s ice cream on the couch slowly seeping into the earth under our home, the iPads are dead and I am tired, so tired. But I’ve nearly ticked everything off my work to-do list, and, apart from fridge-headgate, the girls are now content, warm, full, laughing, and nearly ready for bed.

Mums do get days off, but not me today. And that’s ok! We got through it. I’m forever grateful for an extremely supportive workplace who understand what people, and mums, go through on a daily basis. No one pressured me to hit unrealistic deadlines, and everyone understood what I was going through, or at least sympathised or empathised with me. And in the end, it just makes me want to work smarter, and harder. In all aspects of my life.

There will be a glass or four poured tonight, and I’d say they are well deserved. I’ve just realised baby mermaid is due for her antibiotics, so I’ll end with one of our favourite Peppa Pig quotes, “It’s impossible!”

But really Peppa, NOTHING is impossible.

[kinz-aeh]

Summer 85 - Eddie Munson

Part 1 (1/?)

Summary: You’re working at Scoops Ahoy and find yourself in front of your crush serving him ice cream.

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Warnings: Might have some swearing, it’s mostly fluff, might have some suggestive idea but not much details. Tell me if I need to put more warnings

Authors note: Hey there ! (oh dear I’m scared) First time posting here. I apologize, English is not my first language, I hope at least I did okay for that first part, let me know if you’d like more ! Have a good day !

**Idk how to tag people in here im new to tumblr, best I can do is leaving the link to part 2 here. Again im sorry, I’m just very confused.

Part 2 ________

It was summer time, but, as expected, your parent’s didn’t want you to sit in your bedroom all day, all summer and do nothing but listen to music and read magazines. At first, you said to yourself that you would go out from time to time with some friends. But all of them had family activities or went away on vacation. Things that would only leave you and yourself all alone for the rest of the summer. So you just decided to earn money by applying to Scoops Ahoy, in order to buy yourself more music cassettes.

You loved music. All kinds, pop, rock, punk, classical, even metal. You had an insane music collection back at home, a mix of cassettes you’ve bought yourself or received as presents. One thing was for sure, you always wanted to be a radio host. You loved sharing music, and talk about all those artists that just debuted and broke into the music industry. It was a passion. But, aside your best friends, not many people knew about that.

There was also Edward Munson who knew that, even if he might have forgotten by now. At school, you two were in the same english class. Back then, the teacher gave a project to do in groups of two. Since none of your friends were in the same class, you were left all alone, and so was Eddie. So, of course the teacher decided to put the two of you together. When he first spoke to you, you felt strange. His eyes, his smile, the way he would play with his hair, all of this would make you feel… Some type of way. He was kind to you, but he didn’t seem interested in the project, neither did he seem interested in you, even when you told him a bit about yourself. You never told your friends about this little crush you developed for him. And, secretly, you found yourself looking at him across the cafeteria during lunch time, always sitting with his friend at his table and you with yours.

You never had the courage to go talk to him, and neither did he ever went to talk to you again. Summer came and you didn’t get to see him. You were working at the ice cream parlor, with Steve ‘’The Hair’’ Harrington and Robin, nothing else. You didn’t go out as much, since working got you a bit tired and there wasn’t much to do after closed hours. You worked for long hours, scooping ice cream for kids and dealing with bad customers. And how could you forget Miss Sinclair, always ringing that bell to try every flavors of ice cream, twice, almost everyday. You at least became good friends with Steve and Robin. They were kind to you and when you had time at the shop you guys would joke around a little bit. It made your days a little bit better.

And today came. A very long day at Starcourt Mall. You had to close the store, and deal with customers again. When you arrived at the ice cream parlor, Robin and Steve were already there, dealing with various customers. You had your famous uniform on, and had to put the hat too. You went in the back store to get yourself prepared and then proceeded to start your work. As Steve and Robin were handling the clients, you started to do a store check up, and the usual cleaning stuff you had to do.

‘’Oh hey Y/N, didn’t see you come in ! How are you ?’’ Asked Robin as she turned to you when she finished with her clients. She smiled at you, but you could see how tired she already was. At first it seamed to be her makeup, but then you saw that her eyes were puffier than usual.

‘’Hey, I’m doing fine, but you seem tired, are you ok ?’’ You asked and Steve turned to the two of you.

‘’Hi Y/N’’ He said simply, letting Robin respond to your question.

‘’Yeah, well tired as usual, didn’t get to sleep much.’’ She said in a sigh. You nodded and turned to Steve.

‘’Hi Steve, hope you’re doing fine’’ You said with a shy smile and he only nodded back to you. Robin laughed a little, pointing at you the white board she left on the side.

‘’Dingus still tried to flirt with some girl. Wanna guess what happened ?’’ Robin asked to you in a little laugh. You shrugged and looked at Steve, who was clearly embarrassed but tried to hide it the best he could.

‘’Please Robin, stop with that. You clearly know its the hat !’’ He said, and there it goes, both of them were talking and arguing.

You laughed a little a them, but then your gaze turned to the outside of the parlor, where you could see a part of the mall. People were walking from everywhere, gathering, talking to one another. They all seemed happy to just spend some time around here. But, to your surprise, not far away, you could see a head you just knew so well. His hair was tied in a low bun, and replacing his usual Hellfire Club shirt, he was now wearing a metal group T-shirt, with his usual jeans and handkerchief in his back pocket. Your eyes stoped for a sec at his butt, the jeans fitted Eddie so well. You realized he was laughing, talking to his group friend, and walking away from the parlor. Your eyes followed him. You found yourself biting your lower lip as you dreamed a bit. How would it feel to just come up to him, hug him, smile at him, talk to him. You felt your heart flutter for a sec. Just the fact that he was in the same mall as you made you feel sick, love sick. And your expression on your face, your stillness, got the attention of both Steve and Robin.

‘’Y/N, you ok there ?’’ Asked Steve, resting his hand on your shoulder. You woke up from your slight daydreaming and turned to your coworkers. ‘’Oh ! Yeah absolutely ! Why ?’’ But Robin didn’t believe a single thing of what you said. You cheeks felt hot, and your voice felt softer than usual.

‘’Steve, I think we have a case here.’’ Robin said, suddenly smiling. She cracked you. She just knew. And Steve ‘’Fucking Hair’’ Harrington was smiling from ear to ear as he knew too. ‘’So ! Tell us Y/N, who is the lucky number ?’’ Asked Steve, winking at you, teasing you obviously.

You immediately hid your face in your hands, sighing and letting out a little sound of despair. Nobody have to know, they don’t have to know ! It’s personal ! You didn’t have to say it ! But, this feeling in your chest, of keeping it for yourself, you needed it out ! It was suddenly tempting ! To just say his name. But Eddie Munson had a reputation, what would they think ? You’re some kind of girl who crushed on bad boys during her rebel phase ? No, you didn’t have a phase, you didn’t have a crush on a bad boy, you have a crush on Edward Munson. ‘’If I say so, you guys are going to laugh at me’’ You said, a little ashamed of yourself. Robin smiled at you and gave you a comforting hug. ‘’You don’t have to be ashamed Y/N. At least if it’s not Keith from the video store… Please don’t tell me its Keith.’’ Mumbled Steve.

‘’No ! It’s not Keith at all… It’s…’’ But you stopped. You were scared to say his name, and be laughed at for your dumb, young love sick feelings. Even if Robin was comforting you. And Steve really seemed to root for you and your crush. ‘’I mean, everyone thinks he’s…’’ You stopped again and looked around making sure that Eddie wasn’t near from you. ‘’Everyone thinks he’s a freak… But he’s kind and, nice looking ! I mean. He’s hot no doubt… But, you guys will probably think I’m stupid to have the hots for him.’’

‘’If you say Billy…’’ Steve started but you cut him off.

‘’No ! Not Billy, he’s a duche. I mean… Not to be mean and all… Is just… It’s…’’ You looked again, making sure nobody else would hear you. ‘’I like Eddie Munson.’’

The look on their face made you immediately feel bad. Well, until Robin came to give you a big hug. They were both surprised since they never actually saw you talk to him. And also surprised to now know he was the type you liked. You hid again your face as you felt your cheeks get even hotter. You held this urge to just run into the freezer and barricade yourself in it.

‘’Really ?’’ Asked Steve, tilting his head on the side. But Robin punched him in the shoulder to shut him off. ‘’Ow ! What that for !’’

‘’It’s ok Y/N ! You don’t have to be ashamed, you have the right to love whoever you want ! Steve and me, we are just a little bit confused, and surprised. I mean, where does that come from ?’’ She asked you. But as you were about to respond, you heard the famous Scoops Ahoy bell ring.

‘’Talking gossip while at work, I see.’’ This voice was too familiar. You didn’t want to turn, and yet, you found yourself looking right at Eddie. He was there, his arms crossed on the counter, leaning forward and looking at you with a big smile on. Jesus H, he was hot just standing like that. His tied hair, with some strands falling on the sides of his face. You heart just couldn’t stop beating and for quite a while you thought everyone was hearing it. Robin silently pushed you toward the cash register and pulled Steve to the back store. ‘’Oh ! Hey Eddie, long time no see !’’ You said, with a shaky voice. You approached him slowly at the cash register, pulling your most beautiful… Working smile. ‘’What can I serve you today ?’’

Eddie looked at you for a moment, then glanced behind him. His friends were all sitting at a table, talking, like usual. He then looked back at you, slightly tilting his head on the side.

‘’Yeah, long time no see. Hum…’’ He paused for a second and looked at his hands, playing a little with his silver rings. His tongue was slightly out, as if he was thinking before talking. It made you feel weak to the knees. ‘’Tell me, what’s your favorite flavor ?’’ He asked you, and you just took a moment to finally respond to him, in a little shaky voice you were trying to hold so much.

‘’I’d say strawberry. It’s so good.’’ You said, forcing yourself to look at him in the eyes.

‘’Can I try some ?’’ He asked kindly, still leaned forward. You nodded and took a small spoon, scooping a small amount of your favorite flavored ice cream. You tried your best not to shake. You handed him the small spoon, but instead of taking it in his hand, he slowly leaned a bit more toward you and straight up put the small spoon in his mouth. And he was looking right at you. After a moment, you just let go of the spoon nervously, looking away from his gaze. You felt as if he was trying something on you. He laughed a little and turned to look at his friends. ’’I don’t actually know what these guys want. So hum… Maybe something we could all share together. I don’t know… Surprise me Y/N.’’

He remembered your name, that made you smile a little more, shyly. You hid a little your hands, feeling the tip of your fingers shake a little after this event. Your heart just couldn’t stop pounding in your chest. And you were trying your best to breath normally.

‘’Banana boats are great to share with friends.’’ You said, trying to hold your shaking voice even more.

He smiled at you and turned to his friend. ‘’Guys, banana boat, sounds good ?’’ He asked and they all agreed.

You nodded and turned to start the Banana boat, but right there, at the window, your two friendly coworkers were smiling from ear to ear, spying on you. Steve was eating a banana, as if he would eat popcorn at a movie theater, his eyes wide open on the two of you ready to see what the next step it’s gonna be. You loosed your smile a second, pretended they didn’t exist, then started your boat. You then remembered your uniform. You thought you must be the ugliest right now, working in front of your crush in a blue sailor uniform. You felt ashamed. As you scooped the ice cream, you felt Eddie’s eyes looking right at you. It wasn’t the most perfect banana boat, maybe the ugliest you made, but still delicious. You were so nervous in front of him. Then you came to give it to him. ‘’I’m sorry, maybe I should make another one instead, I messed it up a little.’’ You said to Eddie, showing the young metalhead the boat you just made.

‘’It’s fine Y/N. It’s still going to taste great. How much ?’’ He asked.

‘’2.90$… Huh, you sure you don’t want me to make another ?’’ You asked as he paid.

‘’How caring. Thank you, sweetheart, you deserve a tip.’’ At this you just completely froze, looking at him and feeling your face hotter by the time. ‘’You… You really don’t have to Eddie !’’ But he only winked at you while giving yo some crumpled cash in your hand. Then he turned, going to his table.

You awkwardly stood there, with the money in your hands. You then decided to move, and put the money at its righteous place, the tip jar. You then turned at the window who was now closed, and decided to go hide in the back store. When the door closed behind you, you almost let yourself drift away, you almost screamed and started to cry, but you hold everything up. You were ashamed, you could’ve done something better ! And your uniform ! It was so ugly !

‘’He called you sweetheart !’’ Murmured Robin, super excited by this encounter. But you just sat at the table in silence. Both your friends started to worry.

‘’He probably just said that because he thinks it’s funny, or something like that.’’ You said, slumping on the table, hiding your face in your arms. ‘’With the look on his face, Oh my Jesus I swear he’s in love Y/N.’’ Said Robin, in a small chuckle. Your eyes slowly looked up at her.

‘’Wait, really ?’’ And she nodded, eyes wide open, huge smile on her face. Steve, next to her, still eating that banana, was nodding too.

‘’Can I just say that Eddie is better at flirting than Steve.’’ She said in a laugh, and Steve’s head turned to Robin, yet again disappointed in her comments. ‘’I mean he literally ate ice cream out of the spoon YOU, my dear, were holding ! That’s hot !’’ The bell rang again and Steve decided to go instead of you. He knew that you weren’t in a stable emotional situation to deal with clients right now, and he was tired to hear Robin make comments about his flirting skills. ‘’When you were making that boat, he was playing with his hair, and he was biting his lips while looking at you. Clearly, that’s a sign that the feeling is mutual.’’ Robin said.

‘’I don’t believe you, have you seen our uniform ? It’s ugly ! Who would be drooling over that kinda crap !’’ You shook your head, not believing a single thing of what just happened. You got up ready to go back and face the world again.

‘’Let’s talk about it another day, it’s almost giving me a headache.’’ You said, as you pushed the door for the front store. You then met Erica and her besties, all there to ’try out’’ the ice cream again. Steve was standing there, waiting for that awful time to pass. You looked passed the counter to see that Eddie’s table was now left with a banana split emptied bowl. Yet again, you felt disappointed.

— 🍦A H O Y 🍦—

It was finally closing hours, you guys were exhausted by that long day. The smell of ice cream started to make you feel a bit nauseous, and you just wanted to finally get away from this hell of a parlor faster than you came in. Robin was counting the cash and Steve was cleaning the floor with the mop. You were cleaning the rest of the store. Then ready to go, you guys counted the tip jar, looking at all the cash you made for yourselves. Steve looked at one of the tips and chuckled a little.

‘’Funny, someone wrote something on this’’ He said showing it to the both of you. Robin gasped a second, and then in your turn, you gasped as you read on the crumpled dollar:

I’ll wait for you in the parking lot. - EM

‘’That’s actually creepy’’ said Robin in a laugh. ‘’What ?’’ Asked Steve, not understanding. Then he read it again. And he gasped too, making a surprised expression. ‘’Y/N ! I think you have a date !’’

‘’No way…’’

[bygiornogiovanna]

Yandere! Jojo's x GN! Reader (Headcanons)

What's their reaction to catching their darling mid-escaping?

not proofread!!

tw: yandere behavior, mentions: of blood, kidnapping and punishments.

featuring: jonathan, part2 joseph, jotaro, josuke, giorno and jolyne

"Come on! Work already!" You cried out, hitting the window with your fist for the nth time while trying to open it with a pin. For fuck's sake, why did this work only in movies?

"Yes! Finally!" You quietly celebrated when you managed to unlock the window. You had two more hours until he/she came home so it was enough time to get back in the city if you ran. As you started to climb the window's sill so you could jump out, you felt a firm grip on your hand.

Jonathan

He got home earlier today since he wanted to make you a surprise. You had been so good to him in the past few weeks so he figured you deserved a gift;

Jonathan bought you your favorite ice cream, told the maids to cook your favorite meal before he got home and he bought you a bouquet of roses;

He happily went into your room, only to be met by you surprising him. In an unpleasant way.

The man had a lot of questions, like how did you open the window? Where were you going? What are you doing?, but he saved them for later.

He hurried to get behind you, catching your wrist and pulling you into a tight hug.

A small cry escaped your throat when your plan failed again. You were so close.

"Darling, what were you thinking?! You could've hurt yourself!"

Ngl, I think Jonathan would cry too after he realised you were trying to leave him. (I had to put that gif xd)

Joseph

He got out of the shower, humming happily as he was going to surprise you by coming home earlier.;

He heard a stressed-out "Come on! Work already!" from your room, so he got curious. Maybe you were watching a movie and he wanted to join you. Or maybe you needed help opening something;

However, Joseph did not expect to see you trying to get out of the window;

Anger took over him immediately so he went behind you, grabbing your wrist and yanking you on the floor.

Who were you to think that you could defy him like this? He was Joseph Joestar!

He got over you, pinning your hands to the ground. He hated when people defied him and this was even worse than that.

A whimper left your mouth when you realized his huge figure was over you, biting your lip in fear;

"And your next line will be, why are you home this early?"

Jotaro

He got home earlier than expected since his shift was cut off because of some technical issues. He wasn't complaining since that meant more time spent with you;

As soon as Jotaro came home, he went straight to your room, wanting your daily hug;

What he didn't want was to see you hoped on the window, wanting to jump out. Jotaro felt anger flooding his senses at that sight, immediately coming behind you and grabbing your hand;

His grip was deadly, as the look he shot you. Anger was an understatement;

Jotaro wasn't a man who accepted mistakes or disobedience and he most likely won't accept the fact that you wanted to escape from him;

He threw you on the bed facing the window and stood in front of you with a stern look on his face;

"Never try to do this again or I promise I'm going to break every single bone in your body"

Josuke

Josuke wanted to take you on a date after he finished work so he called you on the house's phone. When you didn't answer for five times, he got worried;

The boy sprinted home, his excuse being an emergency at home. Well, not really an excuse, what if something happend to you?

He called your name once, twice, but again you didn't answer, being too concentrated on trying to open the window;

He entered your room and what he saw made him confused at first. Why were you climbing the window? Oh..?

Oh. Josuke immediately ran to you, grabbing your wrist.

He tried to contain his anger, but the glare he gave you wasn't a kind one either;

You froze when you felt his touch on your wrist, slowly turning to him;

"I wanted to take you on a date, but it seems you decided to change the plans."

Giorno

Current mood: disappointed but not surprised.

Giorno entered when you were still struggling to open the window, leaning against the closed door;

His meeting ended a lot earlier than expected and he wanted to spend time with you, maybe even take you outside since you've been good.

Even though that raised suspicious thoughts in his head, he didn't think you would actually do something;

When he saw that you didn't even look back to reassure yourself that you wouldn't be caught, just desperate to jump off that damned window, he went behind you and grabbed your wrist;

"H-Hi Giorno..." You whispered, not knowing what else to say. Your body started involuntary shaking, swearing at yourself that you weren't more careful.

You wanted to say something else after the chilling silence you were met with, but you shut your mouth when you turned around and saw the icy glare he was giving you;

"We are going to have a long night togheter, my dear."

Jolyne

Jolyne came home singing and dancing around the house. She had a surprise for you and she really hoped you liked it;

The girl went in full rage mode when she entered in your room with a bag full of gifts and she saw you climbing the window;

At first, she called your name angrily, but it seemed like you either didn't hear her or you ignored her. Which, of course, made her even more angry;

She grabbed your wrist and forcefully turned her to you, caging you between her body and her arms.

The girl knew that if she didn't wrap her hands round you, you would jump out that window;

"J-Jolyne!" You squeaked, shocked to see her. She clicked her tounge annoyed at your behavior so she moved one of her hands to your throat;

"Try leaving again and I'll fucking kill you. Don't try me, Y/N"

[maizumis]

Hii! Another Haikyuu dad au! Can it be with the miya twins, Bokuto, Iwa, and Suna? They get into an argument with their pregnant wife so the wife tells them to leave her alone. The boys find a loophole so they talk to her baby bump about how sorry they are to their mama :)

— HAIKYUU BOYS ARGUING WITH YOU WHILE PREGNANT AND APOLOGIZING

ft. timeskip!miya atsumu, iwaizumi hajime, suna rintaro

note: female reader‼️ angst to fluff ‼️different format cos I wanted to write more 🥴 thanks anon! hope you like it 😽 I think I'm gonna do a part two cos this got longer than expected and I couldn't add all the characters! not edited, that's work for tomorrow!

# MIYA ATSUMU

atsumu came home after a rough day at practice, excited to spend some time with you and baby boy that was about to come in just a month

all happiness he had quickly erased when he saw that the home was on the same that when he went to practice, dishes without washing and clothes without fold

" ‘tsumu you're home! we missed you!" he walked past you, he didn't even give you a side look, going directly to the bathroom "‘tsumu all okay? I made your favor–" "could ya please shut up? a come home after working and entire day for ma family and the house is like this? what did ya do the whole day?"

you were stuck in your place with wide eyes and hands over your belly "I'm sorry ‘tsumu, my back hurts a lot today and—" "save it, don’ wanna hear yer excuses"

"go fuck yourself then, miya, sleep in the comfiness of the couch today and don't you dare talk to me until tomorrow" with that you were gone to the master bedroom, fighting the tears that were in your eyes

he thought nothing about it and went to the shower, thinking what was he gonna eat for dinner then go to sleep, tomorrow is a new day

-

freshly out of the shower with pajamas on, he went to the kitchen to eat something, mesmerized when he saw the little note on the oven glass

"enjoy your meal! we love you!<3"

not only that, but that you made his favorite, knowing he was gonna come home late and exhausted after practice

memories of the recent fight came to his mind, he didn't even let you talk your mind, his throat feeling heavy with the guilt that he was experiencing, maybe he should let you talk after all

contradictory to your words, he went runnint to the shared bedroom, ready to apologise for being an ass "baby, yer awake?"

"not for you" you told him trying to hide your sobs, the day was awful, your back didn't let you do anything, the meal you cooked was an hour of fighting the back pain, thinking your ‘tsunj would be happy if he found this

"okay then, good thing a have a baby I can talk to"

he knelt down in front of you, carefully placing his head on the baby bump, caressing it from time to time

"I was an ass, sorry, a bad person to yer mom today baby, a came home and told her bad things, she was hurting and a Didi care, can ya tell her sorry for me?" he felt a kick on his cheek and a smile on his face when he saw you laugh, even with the tear-stained cheeks you were beautiful

" ‘tsumu, not cool what you did today, I wasn't feeling okay and I missed you, we missed you" your voice still a little wiggly after that crying session you had with your maternity pillow

finally, first name privileges, he thought "a know, am sorry, am so sorry, ya deserve so much better angel, am sorry"

"‘s okay tsum, cuddle me as an apologize, yeah?"

he never got into bed at that speed, quickly cuddling you with hands on your tummy while giving little pecks to your neck

"ya don't have to tell me twice"

# IWAIZUMI HAJIME

before and during pregnancy you joined iwaizumi on his works out or runs from time to time, you knew he enjoyed his time doing it so, why don't join him?

today you were not feeling like it, morning sickness took over you and the bed seemed like the best place to stay all day, one day in bed wouldn't hurt, you thought

apparently it stroke a nerve on hajime "what are you doing in the bed? up! we need it go out! " '‘m sorry haji, not really feeling like it today, why don't you go and I make something when you return home?"

"what do you mean 'you don't feel like it' the only thing you do all day is laze around"

you took a deep breath before answering, knowing didn't meant what he say "well I'm sorry I'm pregnant iwaizumi, I can't help it. go on your run and we can eat something together when you return"

"fucking Clara wouldn't put this excuses on me" he murmured under his breath, hoping you didn't heard the mention of his ex partner

"repeat yourself iwaizumi hajime, I'm waiting"

"no baby— I'm sorry, I didn't mean it-"

"go out before I go out by myself iwaizumi, don't bother talk to me the rest of the day, I'm gonna make dinner and leave it on the fridge, I'm also gonna sleep in the guest room. fucking low of you iwaizumi, so fucking low"

he went out with a knot on his throat, he didn't need to bring that up— he knew you weren't feeling your best and then he still played that ex-girlfriend card. on the way back home he picked up flowers knowing you loved them, praying to anyone who was above him for your forgiveness

"I'm home"

"and I told you not to talk to me, iwaizumi"

being petty was right, the mention of his ex while carrying his first daughter because you didn't feel like going out today was bullshit, he didn't have an excuse

he looked down to the floor before closing the door and going to the living room to think about what he did, cheeks red of embarrassment because of his childish behavior

-

he waited for you to be asleep before going into the room, with the idea of carrying your to the king bed instead of this one, after all, he was the one that deserved the uncomfy room

before picking you he saw the pregnant belly, the shirt you were wearing rolled up so it was exposed to the cold air

" ‘m sorry baby, your mama doesn't deserve this, you have the right to be angry with me" tears were pricking his eyes, maybe he was thinking too ahead but would you leave him for this?

"I'm such and asshole, I hope you don't remember that lady's name" he told the fetus as if he was having an actual conversation face to face "behave for mom yeah? don't put more pressure on her than already did" with that he picked you up, without knowing you were fully awake the whole conversation

you let yourself be carried to the big bedroom, once you felt him place you on the bed, you tugged his shirt while looking at him with teary eyes "we need to talk tomorrow but please,stay hajime" you were still mad, but his company is what you were craving right now

"there's no way I'm not staying forever with you"

# SUNA RINTARO

rintaro was coming home late this past weeks but he finally had a free night! so you were excited to spend a bonding time with him and your unborn baby

finishing the little detail on the table such as the dry flowers and the candles, you hear the door being open "rinnie! you finally home! it felt like forever while waiting for you!" he gave you a sweet peck in your lips before going to his room to change his clothes

"oh~ I see you dressed fancy for the occasion! wait for me I think I have a dress that stills fits me!" "what do you mean? I'm going out with the inarizaki boys, kita is in town"

you stopped midway the hall that ended in your room, quickly walking towards your boyfriend again "what do you mean you're going out? what about what I made?"

"you made something?"

it was ridiculous to keep begging, maybe you should call it a day and watch some movies in the couch with a tube of ice cream, alone, again.

"okay then, have fun rin, don't drink to much and come home safe"

-

rin came home after a few hours out, he indeed had a good time with his old teammates but his mind was all the time one you, maybe he should have stay with you, eat some homemade food and cuddle all night while talking about nothing

he entered the house and saw you spread on the couch, huge blanket on with his highschool jersey on, long forgotten night snacks on the night table and Netflix on the tv

it wasn't only that what caught his eye but the table in the kitchen too, he walked towards it and saw it, the candles, the flower carefully placed on the middle of the table, the matching napkins and fancy plates, so that was what you were referring to earlier

guilt creeped all over his body, he didn't acknowledge your efforts to make a night for the both of you, was this negligence? he thought

going again to the couch, bending over so he would be at your height, he placed a hand on your belly before speaking

"you're allowed to be mad at me when you're born baby" he paused for a few seconds, thinking what was he gonna say next "papa is a fucking asshole— sorry, don't say that, papa is very clumsy from time to time"

"Rin?"

there you were! his hand came quickly behind your neck, pressing your forehead and noses together, lips brushing each other

"I'm sorry I'm so stupid— fuck, I really don't want to cry right now, I'm an horrible person"

you cupped his face with both your hands, eyes teary about to cry for a second time that day "you're not horrible Rin, it's just it feels lonely you know?" tears already going down your cheek, the sight made his heart ache, you were crying because of him

"I know you're out there trying to be the best for us but" your voice wiggly, you were really trying to hide the sobs you had inside "but sometimes it feels like you're not around anymore, I can't share the little moments I have because I wake up to an empty bed and go to sleep with the thought of you being out" full sobs were coming out of you at this point, days of pain finally reaching their point "and it hurts so bad not to have you around"

rintaro was crying along with you, you could feel his wet tears on your neck, where he was placing his head "and your absolutely right angel, I'm gonna be better for you– for the both of you, what about I take the day off tomorrow, yeah?" his quavering voice betraying him, even if you knew he was crying he wanted to be strong

"that sounds perfect rin... come cuddle me?"

carrying you bridal style to the bedroom, he lit your favorite candle and snuggled you under the cost sheets

"cuddle you, all day long baby"

[dreamgrlarchive]

Self Care 101 🦋

In this post I’ll be outlining my current routines as they relate to self care. I’ll cover everything from head to toe making sure not to skip your spirit. You cannot be a girl of ANYONE’S dreams if you aren’t taking care of the most important person in your world: you.

mornings:

wash face with gentle cleanser from curology, tone with organic Mamonde rose water and finish with rich moisturizer and spf30

brush teeth with activated charcoal toothpaste by Crest and baking soda for whitening and gum clarity

take vitamins : woman’s one a day, hair skin nails, biotin, vitamin c

drink glass of water then a cup of tea

black tea, raw cane sugar, a lemon slice, ginger

good for energy, immune function, and detox

showers:

this may sound so extra (😅), but depending on my hairstyle, I sometimes like to let the shower run for about five minutes with the door closed to create a sauna effect. this is especially if I have a mask on my hair.

my showers usually are about 20-30 minutes

I have a back brush, pink exfoliating gloves, a loofah, and tree hut body scrubs and I use them ALL.

I wash first with my dove beauty bar to assure clean skin before washing with EITHER my OGX Shea So Soft body wash or Dove Renewing Peony and Rose Oil body wash to add scent or silkiness to my skin.

hair removal:

I haven’t yet mastered the art of waxing myself so I’m still riding the shave wave. *when I do I’ll make a post 4 that*

I exfoliate throughly before AND after shaving

I shave my entire body using Tree Hut Shaving Oil and a nice conditioner I’m not using. This leaves my skin super soft and silky and helps the razor to glide without skipping. I use Gillette Venus. no less than five blades, anything less is ASKING for nicks and a hard time.

when I don’t feel like shaving, I use Nair. use at your own risk. yes, I Nair my ENTIRE BODY. only leaving it on for about 7 minutes I rinse in WARM (not hot) water and exfoliate afterwards. it is imperative to moisturize after to avoid irritation. however, Nair is much easier to do than shaving and seems to last an inkling longer.

after shaving, once a month, I pull out my KENZZI. it’s an IPL device and it has helped to slow the growth of my hair. it’s noticeable for us long, thick haired chicks. I use the second to lowest setting as a melanated babe, as the higher settings could burn me.

I know many endorse the hair on women movement and I can understand it. But I personally love my skin silky, hairless, and smooth.

nights:

after eating dinner, I wash my face and apply the tiniest bit of glycolic serum and my curology night cream. my skin has been the best it’s been in a few years. then I brush my teeth and rinse with peroxide.

every four days I give myself a facial

my favorite face masks:

The Ordinary Salicylic Acid mask

The Ordinary AHA + BHA mask

all Tony Moly sheet masks *luvvvvv those*

GLAMGLOW SUPERMUD clearing treatment *fav*

Peter Thomas Roth Pumpkin Enzyme mask

Peter Thomas Roth Cucumber Gel mask

Peter Thomas Roth Irish Moor Mud mask

Peter Thomas Roth Rose Stem Cell Bio-Repair Gel mask

ORIGINS Clear Improvement mask

An at home honey and aloe mask

I apply a rich facial moisturizer and get to bed.

I then write in my planner my new plans and what I did that day if I hadn’t already. then after that I script and make mood boards in my diary. then I read a little. currently reading: Making Faces by Kevyn Aucoin, and Live Like a hot Chick by Jodi Lipper.

emotions:

I talk to my grandmother about my feelings, she helps me sort things out. please try to find one person you trust to talk to, my messages are always open. 💓 I often overthink. I suffer from anxiety and clinical depression. sometimes these things make me FEEL limited. these experiences wax and wane. I remind myself that the darkness is temporary.

I write in my diary what I feel and track my emotions for potential patterns. I don’t manufacture or sugar coat my feelings, I just talk.

sometimes you need a good cry. let it out. clean your slate. you’ll always feel better, sometimes great after a hard, deep sobbing cry.

I try to get out of the house and get some sunlight. it helps brighten my mood sometimes.

baths:

LOVE taking baths I don’t care what the status quo is about dirt. just rinse off. I love wrapping my hair up and soaking in warm-hot water.

first I run the water. as it’s running I add my bubble bath, then body wash, then my Shea Moisture fragrant coconut oil. it smells soooo good, literally yummy. then I inevitably scream from dipping my toe in the hot water. finally I get in, scrub down my body, emphasis on feet. then I wash, and just relax. I’ve even fallen asleep in the tub once, I was so zen.

careful not to soak too long or overdo it with your products. synthetic materials lingering in your lady bits for too long cause cause infections like bv or uti

some women add tea tree oil, acv, or even Aztec clay to their baths for wellness purposes. I love adding essential oils to my baths to relax and the natural scent is just great 🥺

when I get out I always put something that feels lush and soft on. *invest in super soft, comfy bath towels, they’ll make you feel so luxurious and soft after a nice relaxing bath*

flower:

the yoni is something sensitive that needs to be taken care of thoroughly, and differently than the rest of your body. it’s not recommended to use soaps down there, it can unbalance things and make you itch. also make you prone to infection. this is why I use clear warm water to clean. if I use soap it’s a sensitive, gentle formula. don’t ever try to clean the cavity. she’s a self cleaning vessel.

to shave, I trim my hair down as close as possible and use a FIVE BLADE razor with conditioner and take my time. making sure not to pass a spot twice, I apply moderate pressure and move slowly. when finished I rinse and scrub gently. I PAT not rub dry. to finish off I apply TendSkin, and salicylic acid to avoid ingrowns. once that’s soaked in I apply shea butter. very soft and pretty 🌸

⚠️ DO NOT PUT ON TIGHT PANTIES OR RIGHT PANTS AFTER SHAVING. it restricts the hairs and causes irritation and ingrowns. throw on some comfy loose shorts for a while, let it breathe

dietary needs:

drink plenty of water

cranberry juice

vitamin c

minimal red meat

probiotics

at home vagacial for the high maintenance girlies:

*make any necessary extractions with pointed and slanted tweezers *

scrub: 

brown sugar, tea tree oil, a little shea butter

exfoliating and anti inflammatory

mask:

baking soda, fresh lemon juice, vitamin e oil, papaya juice, gelatin

fixes discoloration and brightens the skin while softening

moisturize:

aloe vera gel, rose hip seed oil

smelling sweet:

ah yes, my favorite part. I love fragrance so much. I love to smell like you could literally break off a piece of me and eat it.

I find that using fragrant washes and oils make your scent more strong and help it linger. I already mentioned the body washes I use. the tree hut scrubs I use smell amazing also. I alike to add essential oils and man made scents like strawberry and chocolate to my Shea Moisture oil (so yummy).

I also use a fragrant lotion, eau de parfum, and fragrance mist.

here’s a list of some of my favorites:

perfumes:

jimmy choo fever

coach floral blush

yves saint laurent mon paris

victoria’s secret bombshell

victoria’s secret scandalous

valentino

fragrance mists:

victoria’s secret velvet petals, pure seduction, warm and cozy

bath and body works a thousand wishes, fiji pineapple palm, warm vanilla sugar, black raspberry vanilla

oils:

coconut

sweet almond

peppermint

chocolate scented essential oil

strawberry scented essential oil

orange

grapefruit

eucalyptus

sweetest combo ever:

vanilla extract, coconut oil, shea butter, and your favorite perfume. you’ll be smelling like a warm cupcake with extra sprinkles and icing 🧁

layering:

oil, lotion, eau de parfum, mist

pulse points:

inside elbows and knees, in between thighs, inner arms, behind ears, back of neck, ankles

hair:

it’s super important to keep your hair moisturized. quenched tresses move, grow, shine and bounce. dry hair is limp, lackluster, and extremely fragile

my fav diy deep conditioner:

a banana, half an avocado, three spoons of honey, an egg, a spoonful of mayo, a spoonful of coconut, olive, and castor oil each

strength from egg, avocado, mayo and olive oil

moisture from avocado and honey

cover damp CLEAN hair and scalp in mixture and cover with a plastic bag, then towel for an hour, rinse thoroughly, and seal in moisture

fav hair products:

castor oil

fusionplex conditioner and mask

Aussie conditioner

wella goji berry mask

coconut oil

style booster edge control

helpful tips:

when shampooing, concentrate on the scalp and wash thoroughly twice, as the suds will naturally cleanse your stands without drying and stripping them

rinse hair with apple cider vinegar every now and then. it restores your ph balance, smooths the cuticle, clarifies the strands, and adds shine

always add oil and leave ins to DAMP hair, never dry; this will ensure you’re sealing in moisture

try to use smooth fabrics to dry your hair, bath towels encourage frizz and breakage

hands and feet:

and last but not least, let’s cover manicuring and pedicuring.

it’s super important to make sure your nails are either DONE or filed, shaped, and smooth. at home maintenance is super easy. make a point to scrub your hands and feet well when bathing. make sure to stay on top of your cuticles by trimming or pushing them back. I like the look that pushing them gives. I use an orangewood stick, metal pusher and cuticle softener to make the process super easy and safe. after I’m done I add my pineapple scented cuticle oil. I do this on my fingers and toes.

invest in a rasp and pumice stone for your feet and use these gently every two weeks after soaking them in warm foot salts. rough usage can cause cuts and irritation. in between treatments keep your feet soft by slathering them in a moisturizing foot cream, cocoa/shea butter then oil to seal it all in. buy some soft thick aloe infused socks and wear them to sleep. you’ll thank me 😉

for info on how I do my nails click this

well, that’s all I’ve got. I truly hope you enjoyed my post! it’s always fun sharing my advice with you all. any feedback is appreciated and question is welcomed ♡

[cvtqr]

babysitter

pairings; eren x reader 

content warning; basically just smut, unprotected sex, some degradation, small age gap

notes; in this you are marco’s little sister yeah!! (adopted or biological idk you can decide), college au per usual 

“c’mon eren... i’ll owe you one i swear-”

“fine.”

you and eren jaeger did not get along. you were three years younger than him, but yet you were always around. coming into your first year of college, you didn't know anyone except your older brother, marco. the two of you had always been extremely close, resulting into you always hanging out with him and his friends.

that's how you met the infamous eren jaeger.

no other of marco’s friends seemed to have a problem with you, they all adored you. with the exception of eren. he felt like you were a child always trying to hangout with the adults. that made him feel the need to always keep an eye out for you. and god he found it annoying having to watch boys drool over you at every party.

“c’mon eren... i’ll owe you one i swear-”

“fine.”

eren pushed his way through the crowd, away from marco, looking for you.

of course, as expected, some frat boy was on top of you trying to get your number.

“okay! do you want me to just put it in your phone or..-”

you watched as his smile faded while you felt a large hand fall down onto your shoulder.

“lets go brat.”

you were peeled away from the boy as eren dragged you up the stairs of the crowded frat house.

“eren what-”

“it’s gonna get real crazy in a little bit, your brother wants me to babysit you. just stay in my room for tonight and ill take you back to your dorm in the morning.”

you didn't feel like arguing with him right now, you didn't have the energy. you just let him drag you into his semi messy room.

not too long after you excused yourself to the bathroom, you came back to find eren already comfy in his bed.

“you can sleep in here too, just stay on your side.”

you started walking towards the side of the bed, giggling.

“why, thinkin’ of me gettin’ all warmed up to you jaeger?”

he let out a small ‘tch’ as he flipped over to place his phone down onto the bed side table. turning back around, he was faced to your standing backside, unbuttoning your pants.

“wh-, what are you doing...-”

“what? you expect me to sleep in jeans?... don't get too excited, jaeger.”

you made eren’s blood boil. but for some reason he couldn't listen to you, he was getting excited. he thought it was just because he's face to face with a half naked girl... i mean anyone would get a bit excited from that, right? or maybe because he loved the way his last name rolled off your tongue-

his thoughts came to a halt as you crawled under the covers with him.

facing your back to him, you sunk into his pillows.

“i'm doing this for your brother, not you. so don't get any ideas-”

“yeah yeah, night jaeger.”

eren faced the opposite way, pulling the covers over himself more.

“tch-, stay on your side.”

falling asleep in eren’s bed was harder than expected. its definitely been way over an hour, but you could still hear the faint sounds of music playing from downstairs.

as you went to shift in the bed for about the twentieth time, you were stopped by eren rolling over and trapping you into his arms.

“sit still.”

from this position, your bodies were as close as possible to each other. he was right behind you, his arm around you, locking you in. 

not fighting him, you listened. being in eren’s arms somehow made it easier to fall asleep. you were out like a light. but eren? he's been up and almost an hour has passed. he was too focused on the way you softly snored, and how good your shampoo smelt. 

and the bulge that's been growing in his pants ever since you started unintentionally moving your hips into him

one more rough move into him and you felt a strong grip on your hips, waking you up.

“i thought i told you to sit still.”

you felt him poking into your fabric covered ass, eren’s breath getting shaky.

“eren what-”

“i'm sorry, y/n.”

you felt his grip get looser, but his hands never left your hips. 

and you didn't want them too

“can i touch you..., please?”

you felt his hands shift to meat of your thighs, lightly rubbing circles, and you shook your head yes.

that's when his hands started to wander. 

up and down your thigh, your lower stomach, up the soft fabric that was separating you from his touch. 

his hands shifted from your lower back, to the front of you, prying his fingers down to your clit.

“is this ok?”

you shook your head yes as he started to apply some pressure to your clit, while he rubbed himself against the back of you. 

you let eren, the person whom your always fighting with, touch you like this. you were enjoying it a little too much, and he knew that. as he started rubbing circles around your clit, his speed started to increase, while you grabbed onto his wrist, letting out a sweet moan.

“who knew the little bodt was such a slut.”

his movements got faster and faster.

“im nottt- im... ah ‘not a sl-, a slut...”

“you can't even form a proper sentence... poor thing. you open your legs like this for anyone?”

you shook your head no as you squeezed your eyes shut, letting another breathy moan escape your lips.

“then why just me, hm?”

you felt the pleasure being ripped away, as his fingers came to a stop.

“bet you wanted this for awhile. the big brothers good friend to fuck you stupid, yeah?”

“please eren”

in one motion he flipped the two of you over, you landing on your stomach, and him on top of you, pulling your hips up to meet his.

“please what? use your words, little one.”

“want you to fuck me eren.” you mumbled into the pillow beneath you 

you felt a weight lifted off your back, before his hands found your hips again, lining you up with him. 

pulling your panties to the side, you felt his tip teasing your entrance.

‘ill pull out’ was the last thing you heard before he jammed himself into you. 

only giving you a few seconds to adjust, he started thrusting in and out of you. 

you softly moaned out his name before finding a grip on the sheets, as his speed started to increase.

“this sloppy pussy ‘s so fuckin’ tight.”

you felt him pull out before ramming himself back in at a rough pace.

“i wanna know who's, fuck-, who's making you feel so good, tell me would you?”

“eren! ‘ts you eren.”

without pulling out, he flipped you onto your back. he's been wanting to do this for so long, he couldn't miss your pretty face during a moment like this. 

grabbing onto your thighs, he pulled them up against his hips before leaning down and trapping your lips with his. shifting them down to your jawline and neck, he started to mark his territory. couldn't have any of those college boys all over you anymore, right?

digging your nails into the meat of his shoulders, he felt you start to flutter around his cock.

“gonna cum?”

looking up into his eyes, you swiftly nodded as tears started to form in the corner of your eyes. 

“good.”

he brought his head back up as both of your mouths hung open.

you felt his hand move back down to your clit, as your grip tightened on his shoulders.

“cum-, cum all over my cock like a good girl..., pleaseee”

not having to be told twice, you let out a loud moan before creaming all over him, getting all over the bed and down the both of your bodies.

not long after fucking you through your high, eren flipped you back over onto your stomach, as he found his own release.

pulling out he pumped himself as he coated your lower back and ass with his cum. he held onto your hips while he admired his work.

maybe eren jaeger wasn't as bad as you thought.

[soulmate-game]

Well, here is the stupid thing I was alluding to. It’s mostly a filler chapter, but yeah.

Harley’s Plea for Help, Chapter 3

“Well, that took a while,” a relatively deep female voice smoothly drawled. The plants placed right next to the window pulled away, no longer blocking the pathway inside. The two figures who were perched right outside the windowsill took the invitation and climbed inside, the shorter of the two looking at the woman who had spoken and smiling widely.

“Auntie Ivy!” Marinette happily exclaimed, making the redhead across from her grin back.

“That’s me. It sure is nice to actually see you in person, little Marigold,” she held out her arms for a hug, which Marinette instantly ran in to accept. “Video calls are never quite enough, are they? You’re so tiny! Are you sure you eat alright?”

“Auntie Ivyyyyyy,” Marinette whined, knowing full well that Ivy was just teasing her.

“So, what took you all so long?” Ivy asked Red Hood, even as she kept her arms wrapped around her soon-to-be daughter in law. “Usually you bats are all about getting back on the streets to punch people, we didn’t think you’d be bringing her in at almost one in the morning.”

Hood shrugged, thumbs hooked in his pockets. “Your little garden fairy nearly gave us the slip. Went straight out the back exit instead of doin’ anything showy like we half expected and we almost missed her.”

“I stopped as soon as I noticed who they were, I swear!” Marinette pulled away from Ivy, holding her hands up in mock surrender. “I didn’t expect Momma to send them to babysit me before our first full day being in Gotham. In hindsight, though, I really should have.”

“Yeah, you should’ve,” Ivy agreed with a smirk, ruffling Marinette’s hair and making her pigtails go a little crooked. “And I know for a fact that you’ve done some stunts off your balcony back in Paris, so at least I know you can be responsible and hold yourself back from doing the same here. Must get that from me, because we both know it doesn’t come from Harley.”

Marinette and Hood both had to laugh at that. Being responsible was definitely not a trait that Marinette could have inherited from anybody in her family tree, that was for sure.

“Are ya makin’ fun of me in front of my daughter?” the comically scandalized voice announced the arrival of one Harley Quinn, who walked into the room in white onesie pajamas with a poker print on them. All of the “joker” cards were crossed out heavily with red sharpie, and a few of them had black-sharpie devil horns and handlebar mustaches vandalizing them. Marinette even caught one such card with a googly eye on it, the matching eye having fallen off and leaving only a small circle of since-dried hot glue where it used to be. “If you guys are gonna be that way, fine! Ivy dyes her hair!”

“No she doesn’t,” Marinette deadpanned, clearly fighting against a giant grin. The corners of her lips gave her away, they never stopped twitching with repressed mirth. “But you do. I got the pictures to prove—- aah!” Harley tackled her daughter to the ground, attacking her with tickles immediately.

“Take it back! My hair is naturally blond!”

“Yeah, naturally— hahahahaha! Sandy blonde! You— hahaha! Have just as much brown— stop I can’t breathe! hahahaha!— as yellow!”

“Hmph,” Harley finally backed off, crossing her eyes and looking away from Marinette with an exaggerated pout. “How dare you reveal my darkest secret?”

“I was a natural redhead even before I got my powers,” was all Ivy had to say, looking all too amused at this turn of events. “Your original costume completely covered your hair.”

“Don’t worry, Harley,” Red Hood butted in, reminding the three girls that he was still here. His tone suggested that he was definitely smiling under his helmet. “We found out about your hair dye years ago.”

“I just cover up the brown parts! It’s not like I’m changin’ much,” she argued before standing up again. “Thanks for gettin’ my cupcake back safely, little birdie. Oh, that's right! I made cupcakes! Hang on, lemme grab one for your trip back!” with that, she span on her heels and ran back further into the apartment. Marinette dashed over to Hood, immediately shoving him to the window.

“Quick, save yourself! Momma can’t bake for her life!” she whispered urgently. “I’ll say you were called away for an emergency, just hurry!”

“It’s not even a lie, getting away from Harley’s baking is an emergency,” Ivy agreed, waving as the vigilante took their advice and fled. It was only three seconds later that Harley slid back into the room, nearly falling due to the feet of her onesie having pretty much zero friction. Her face immediately fell when she saw that her victim was gone, leaving her standing there with a cupcake that was about twice as much frosting as actual cake, covered in sprinkles like a kid’s craft project that was smothered in glitter. The frosting was also shapeless, just heaped on the cake like a half-melted scoop of ice cream. She sighed in despair.

“There goes my chance of giving a bat diabetes. You guys warned him, didn’t ya?”

They both nodded shamelessly. “We’re not that cruel, Harley,” Ivy defended, getting up from her spot on her cushioned armchair and wrapping an arm around her fiance’s waist before she kissed the top of her head gently. “Hood got our little Marigold back safe and sound, and he’s even started a garden at his apartment. He doesn’t deserve to be poisoned by you.”

“I thought you said he got a single cactus at the flea market last month,” Harley deadpanned, making Ivy shrug.

“Might as well be a garden for him, and it’s something he’s not likely to kill so that’s a plus to me. He’s actually taking really good care of the little baby.”

“Speaking of garden!” Marinette gently took the sad excuse of a pastry away from her mom and sat it down on a side table before ushering both of them over to the living room and onto the sofa. “My garden back home is growing so big, I don’t think I can keep everything much longer. I barely have room to walk on the terrace, with all the vines and leaves and branches. Got any ideas of what I can do?”

“Of course! Do you have pictures, Marigold?”

—*—*—*—*—*

Slipping back through her hotel window at six in the morning was risky, since it involved climbing the wall and hoping nobody saw, but her classmates were so unpredictable that it was the only way she could be sure nobody would find out that she had violated curfew and snuck out. Of course, having Red Robin waiting outside her mom’s apartment’s terrace to escort her back helped. At least she knew that no street cams would record her comings or goings, and his grappling hook made the whole scale-the-hotel-wall business much more efficient.

Once she was inside, she sighed happily. “Thanks, now—“ her apology was cut off as Red Robin held up a finger to tell her to wait.

“Hold that thought, be right back. Don’t move.”

Thinking, rightfully, that something was wrong, Marinette obeyed. She watched Red Robin leap off of her hotel balcony and disappear into the streets. Immediately, she began a search to make sure her room had been left untampered— everything important had been packed in the backpack that she had taken to her mom’s place, but still. Could never be too careful. By the time she finished checking for bugs or any signs of snooping, Red Robin landed back on her balcony.

“Here we go.”

Turning to face him, Marinette opened her mouth to ask what the problem had been— only to tear up a little and walk over to the vigilante.

“Oh, my hero. Truly, my one and only savior. Knight in shining red Kevlar. I’m running on two hours of sleep and you have read my mind!” The pigtailed drama queen eagerly took the coffee that he offered her, and he sipped from a larger cup that looked like he had grabbed it from the same place. Marinette almost instantly sighed in gratitude when the hot drink lightly scalded her tongue. This. This was the elixir of life.

To his credit, Red Robin was able to restrain himself to merely an amused smirk. Probably because he was running on just as little sleep as she was. “Sorry it’s only a small, I figured it was best to have something you could finish quickly and easily hide the evidence for. If you need more caffeine, I happen to know that Wayne Enterprises has a very good coffee shop in their main hall. You’ll be touring there today, right?” He asked, taking another sip as he waited for the answer that he already knew.

Marinette nodded absently, drinking in the euphoria of her coffee as she tried to both savor it yet finish it as quickly as safely possible. When she came up for air, she said; “Yeah, that’s right. We’re touring Wayne Enterprises for most of the day, having lunch there, and leaving for dinner after the tour. Then we have a visit to the Gotham Museum of Fine Art, and we’ll stay there until about eight-thirty before heading back to the hotel.”

Red Robin nodded, then turned and looked out the window at the slowly rising sun. Sunrise was always a bit later in Gotham, partly because of the abundance of high-rises and partly because of the thick cloud cover and ever-present fog on the edges of the city making everything seem darker than it should have been. He had to be at work soon himself, which is why he had been chosen to escort her to the hotel in the first place, but that meant that he had to be heading off.

“Alright. We arranged for a bodyguard we trust to keep an eye on your class during the WE tour, but he doesn't know who you are or that we’re the ones who asked. We’re still in the process of arranging someone to shadow you after the tour, but we’ll tell you about that once it’s solidified. Until then, follow the usual self-defense procedures if you suspect anyone of following you. You have the panic button we gave you?”

Marinette nodded, gulping down the last of her coffee and carefully putting it in her room’s tiny trash can. “Got it. Thanks, again. Seriously,” she met his eyes— or, probably did since they were hidden behind that weird white film that the whole Batfam had covering the eyeholes of their masks. “I mean it. For listening to me, for listening to Mom. It means a lot. I’ll keep the panic button on me, and I’ll use it if I think I can’t handle a situation on my own. I’ll cooperate with the people you get to watch over the class, and I’ll do my best to not get into any trouble. No promises, but I’ll do my best,” she maintained eye contact until Red Robin nodded, hiding his expression behind his coffee cup. After a second, he cleared his throat.

“Well then. We’ll contact you once we have anything to say about your intel. Until then, I gotta go. And by the way?”

Marinette tilted her head curiously as Red Robin paused for just a moment on her balcony railing, aiming a smirk back at her. “Yeah?”

“Welcome to Gotham.”

And if she couldn’t help but smile widely as he grappled off into the fog-veiled sunrise? Well, only she had to know. She wasted no time closing and locking the glass balcony door, and pulling the curtains over it completely. Once that was done, she couldn’t help but do a little shimmy of Joy. She was caffeinated, she met Auntie Ivy in person for the first time, she got to sleep next to her momma— and she was in Gotham! Technically her hometown— or town she was conceived in? Didn’t matter. Point was, even with the chaos and dark energy clouding the very air, she couldn’t help but feel like she belonged in that city. Like that was where she was always meant to end up, where she could thrive and the environment that she was made to thrive in. The environment that she was born to start fixing.

She beamed at herself in her bathroom mirror as she gave herself one more once-over. Yeah, so far her visit to Gotham was going much better than she could have hoped. Now, she just had to make sure it stayed that way.

Three businesslike raps sounded against the door to her room, just in time for Marinette to feed Tikki one more cookie and straighten her purse on her shoulder. Madame Mendelieve’s voice called out from the other side of the door in her usual no-nonsense bark;

“Dupain-Cheng! Room check! It’s time to get up, we’re meeting down in the lobby in ten minutes.”

Marinette ran up to the door, not quite able to contain her energy, and swung it open with her trademark large, beaming smile.

“Way ahead of you, Madame Mendelieve!”

Her science teacher blinked, adjusting her glasses on her nose as if she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing.

“Ah. You’re already awake and ready?”

Marinette giggled and nodded. “Yup! I was so excited for the tour that I could barely sleep! Does the hotel breakfast include free coffee?”

—*—*—*—*—*

The hotel breakfast did, in fact, include coffee. What it did not include, however, was free coffee that Marinette could reasonably stomach. Especially after the heaven in a cup that Red Robin had gotten for her earlier, the watered down motor oil in the hotel lobby had been unbearable. She had barely managed two sips before regretfully throwing the rest away. Which is what brought her to stand in line at the very same coffee shop that Red Robin had mentioned was in the main hall of Wayne Enterprises, as the rest of her class mingled and waited for their teachers to check their tour group in and their tour guide to arrive.

“Hmm. Sorry, this is my first time ordering here,” she apologized when she reached the counter, gaining a slight lopsided grin from the barista at the register. “Um, I usually like strong coffee, with a lot of caffeine, but I also like something sweet. I don’t need anything too complicated though, do you have any recommendations?”

The barista gave her a customer service smile that seemed just a tad softer at the edges than usual. “Sure! So, we can add an extra shot or two of espresso to any of our drinks, to make it stronger and give it an extra kick. If you’re looking for good sweet flavors, the classics are our white chocolate or caramel. But we also have a seasonal syrup right now that I personally love, which is our cinnamon butterscotch. Did you wanna try that?”

Marinette smiled widely. “That sounds delicious! Then, if I could have your largest size café latte, hot, with… two extra shots and that syrup? Does that sound good?”

The barista actually let loose a soft laugh, already keying in the order. “If you’re a coffee lover and a sweet tooth at the same time, then you’ll love it. If not, come back during your tour’s lunch break and I’ll make you something else.”

Marinette made a little more small talk as she handed over the proper cash for the order, and grabbed her drink after just another minute’s wait. She turned around, taking a sip of the unsurprisingly heavenly coffee and started off to join her class.

Only to realize none of them were where she had left them. She sighed, starting to reach into her purse to see if anyone had texted her about where they were going, but a heavy presence stopped her. She could feel him approaching from in front of her, slightly to her right, but she couldn’t hear him at all. On guard, she straightened up and turned to observe the potential threat.

A security guard. Marinette blinked, running over what she had been told earlier that morning. Was he..?

He seemed to notice her instinctually defensive posture because he raised his hands to show he meant no harm. “Sorry, didn’t mean to catch you off guard,” he apologized. “I’m the guard that was assigned to your tour group. I offered to stay behind until you got your coffee while the rest of your group went ahead and got the run-down on all the boring rules and whatnot of the tour. Figured you’d already know everything they had to say anyway, you’re the class president right?”

Marinette relaxed her posture, nodding and sending the man a relieved smile. “Yeah, that’s right. Well, that explains why they left without me then. Usually Madame Mendelieve is strict about following rules though, how’d you convince her to go on without me?”

The man chuckled, jerking his head to show that she should follow him as he began to lead the way to a side door. Marinette kept her guard up just in case, but wasn’t too worried. If nothing else, she was still in the middle of a super crowded building and the other security guards around didn’t seem concerned. She could easily yell for help if she needed to.

“Well, can’t you tell it was my devilish charm?” He teased, grinning. He waited until she rolled her eyes to continue; “but really, I’m like a second tour guide. She made me show a lotta proof that I’m actually assigned to you guys and not just faking it, not that I can blame her. Eventually she saw the logic in my suggestion and agreed. See, there they are,” he pointed casually ahead of them in the large side hallway they had entered. Sure enough, near the end of the hallway was her class at what looked to be the tail-end of a standard rules-and-guidelines speech from the tour guide. “By the way,” the guard spoke up again, holding his hand out. “My name’s Jason. You’ll be seeing me more often, since I’m supposed to guard you guys for all of your visits to the Tower. Call me if you need help with anything, ‘kay kid?”

Marinette grinned, now positive that this guy really was the guard that Red Robin had said was assigned to her class. She switched the hand she was holding her coffee in so that she could properly grab Jason’s hand for a shake.

“Got it, Monsieur Jason. Let’s both hope I don’t end up needing your help though, I think that would be easier on both of us,” she joked, earning a chuckle from the large man. And— yeah, now that she was relaxed, he really was big, wasn’t he? Then again, Marinette didn’t always realize when people were a bit larger or more buff than they should be. Living with her dad had seriously skewed her perception of the normal size of an adult male (which, she learned when she was seven, most definitely was not almost seven feet tall and muscled enough to make a pro wrestler jealous). But she would like to think she had gotten better in that aspect, and Jason was definitely a big guy. A little over six feet tall, she thought, and though the guard outfit hid a good portion of his physique, she could tell he carried enough muscle to do serious damage if he wanted to.

With a wave, she left him to join her class and sipped at her latte. She had figured that the Bat Clan’s criteria for civilians that they would put to guard her class had to be high, but now she had to wonder just how high. Most police officers or security guards were fit, sure, but not like Jason. Casting a quick glance back at him, she confirmed that he had quite a few faded but visible scars. Again, more than your average officer even for Gotham. Who had they tasked with her class’ safety, exactly?

An elbow in her side distracted her from her thoughts, forcing her to blink and stop her cup from going back to her lips. The grin of none other than Adrien Agreste greeted her when she snapped out of her own head long enough to pay attention to her surroundings. He jerked his head to indicate that the class was already starting to move off.

“Come on, Mari or you’ll get left behind again,” he teased. She grinned back at him, rolling her eyes but falling into step beside him as they followed at the back of their class. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were gonna marry that coffee. You haven’t zoned out that badly in years,” his tone was light and cheery, but Marinette didn’t miss the concern in his emerald eyes. She sighed, gently bumping her shoulders against his in silent reassurance.

“I’m fine. Just didn’t get much sleep last night, that’s all. But this really is good coffee. Elixir of the gods,” then, just to provoke him, she took a giant gulp of the still steaming hot drink. Adrien grimaced in pained sympathy even though Marinette didn’t seem affected at all.

“Oww, Marineeeeeeeeeette,” he whined. “Don’t do that, my throat hurts just watching you guzzle hot coffee like that,” he complained, rubbing at his neck to make his point clear.

“Wimp,” she teased, unrepentant. Adrien just groaned dramatically.

“I’m not a wimp, you’re just concerningly used to burning your throat from the inside out,” he accused. “Anyway, how’d it go?” He was being deliberately vague, but it was obvious to her what he meant. He was only one she had told about visiting her mom, after all, just in case she needed a quick getaway.

In fact, he was the only one of her friends that she had even told about her biological parents. Alix knew too, but only because of time shenanigans. Marinette was fine with it now, but still.

“It went great,” she smiled widely at him, keeping her voice low but casual. “If I have a chance, I’ll introduce you sometime during the trip. I have a feeling you’ll love Auntie Selina, but I have to meet her first. All I have so far are stories.”

“Fair enough,” Adrien agreed easily. “But you don’t have to, you know that right? I’d love to meet your family, but I’m also fine just being your pseudo-brother like I have been up until now. I know it might be a bit… uncomfortable, for you.”

“Nah,” Marinette shrugged. “Nerve wracking, maybe. But that’s also about half the things that I do in my life period, anxiety is no joke. I’ll catastrophize for a while, but I know you’ll love them and they’ll love you.”

“Sounds like they have paw-some taste,” he didn’t even miss a beat with his puns, earning a playful glare for his efforts.

“Never mind. You’re a heathen. Disowned. Who are you?”

“Mariiiiii,” he whined, causing them both to laugh for a while before focusing on the tour.

So far, so good, Marinette thought.

—*—*—*—*—*

Part 1 Part 2

@emotionalsupportginger @alysrose-starchild @emistar0 @kibastray @justanotherfanficlovinbitch @alyssadeliv @blackroserelina @blackstarlight-co @readingalldaysleepingallnight @maanae @aespades @jaybird-and-co @fleursroses @probably-a-hologram @misterpianoman @deathssilentapproach-blog @user00000003 @frieddonutsweets @blur-of-colours @prettylittlebutterflie @ladyqnoirr @a-star-with-a-human-name @mizzy-pop @laurcad123 @dorkus-minimus @chocolatecatstheron @tazanna-blythe @golden-promises @literaryhiraeth @asrainterstellar @hewantedbeefintheparkinglot @miraculous-trinity-leo @missanalysis @lovelyautumnsunflower @lolieg @ann0631 @whitetiger1249 @meow-now @toodaloo-kangaroo

[thetravelerwrites]

Errol (Naga) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationship: Female Human/Male Naga Additional Tags: Cheating, Infidelity, Break-ups, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Secretly In Love, Angst, Sex, Breeding, Pregnancy Kink, Dom/Sub, Ovipositor, Oviposition, Pregnancy, Babies, Eggs, Egg Laying Words: 7887

A commission for @anjhope1​​! After catching her fiance cheating, the reader breaks up with him and goes home miserable. The ex-fiance's brother, Errol, arrives on his brother's order to get his things from her apartment, but Errol is more interested in taking care of the reader and making sure she's okay. It leads to some confusing feelings and a confession. Please reblog leave feedback!

The Traveler’s Masterlist

You’d had your suspicions for a while, but it wasn’t until you got the message on social media from a girl he’d dated and dumped who had photographic proof of it that you finally had to face the truth.

Your fiance was cheating on you.

Eric was a naga and had been with you for more than five years. He had asked you to marry him, ring and all, on New Years Eve with his family. He had made a big show of it, too. And now, you were going to have to confront him about being a cheating bastard.

The woman who had been dumped told you that he was now dating her friend, and she had gotten the room number where they were supposed to meet. You got to the hotel with your heart in your throat and knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” That was definitely Eric’s voice. He had told you that his friend needed help moving and that he’d be staying over to help him. What a good friend he was.

You deepened your voice in an effort to mask it. “Room service.”

“Oh, good, I was wondering if you were ever going to come,” Eric said, and the door swung open. As soon as he saw you, the blood drained out of his already pale face.

“No, wait--”

“Hey, babe, did they bring the right wine this time?” A female voice said from inside.

You took off your ring and threw it in his face and called inside the room, “You can have the bastard.” And walked away.

“Wait, please, this isn’t what you think,” Eric said, slithering quickly down the hall to catch you. He grabbed your arm and you wrenched it violently out of his grasp.

“Babe, who’s this?” The woman said. She was human and pretty, you guessed.

“I’m his fiance,” You retorted. “Oh, sorry, ex-fiance. Don’t worry, he’s all yours.”

“What the fuck, Eric?!” She shouted at him. “Are you kidding me?”

“Rachel, it’s not…” He stuttered. “It isn’t…”

Rachel slapped him and pushed past you toward the elevator, not looking back.

“Babe--” He started, turning back toward you.

“Don’t you dare call me ‘babe,’ you son of a bitch. Why? Why would you do this to me? Why would you waste five fucking years of my life?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you--”

“I don’t give a shit what you meant to do! I want an explanation. Was the sex bad? Do you not love me anymore? Are you just the type of person who has to have a side-chick? What? What about this is good for you? What about all this made destroying our relationship worth it?”

He groaned and scratched his head with both hands. “I… It… I can be anything I want to be with those girls, you know? If I say I’m rich, then I’m rich. If I say I’m successful, then I’m successful, and they don’t know better. They don’t know I have a shitty job that I hate. They don’t know that my girlfriend makes twice as much money as me, that she’s popular with people and everyone likes her better than me, even my own fucking family. They don’t know what a fucking loser I am.”

“And that’s my fucking fault?!” You screamed at him. “You know what you could have done instead of ruining a five year relationship? Gotten fucking therapy! Or, better yet, talked to me about it! I have been nothing but supportive of you. I have encouraged you to leave your job and find a better one. I told you I would support you until you found something that made you happy. You could have gone back to school or done and apprenticeship or vocational work, whatever, and I’d have been there! You could do whatever you wanted, and I would have helped you, and you know that!”

“Right, because you so fucking perfect, huh?” He yelled back. “It’s not enough that you rub your perfect job in my face every day and go around spending whatever you want because you don’t have to worry about money, but you also have to be perfectly supportive and perfectly giving and perfectly loving, too, right? How am I supposed to feel good about myself when you’re always better than me at everything?”

“So, it’s my fault you’re cheating on me because I’m a good girlfriend? Is that what you’re saying to me? I’m too fucking nice, so you had to put your dick in random women to feel better about yourself?” You raised your hands as if surrendering and shook your head in disbelief. “You know what? Fucking forget me. Forget our relationship, forget getting married, forget you ever knew me, forget my fucking face, don’t ever come to my house, don’t ever message me again, delete my number from your phone. As far as you’re concerned, I don’t exist to you, because you sure as shit don’t exist to me anymore.” You turned to leave.

“What about my stuff?” He protested.

“Send your brother to come get your shit,” You said without turning. “If you set foot on my property, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing. I’m not fucking around. I’m so fucking glad you never moved in when I offered. ”

“So that’s it?” He said as you waited for the elevator to come back up. “You’re not even willing to work this out? It’s just over?”

“Get fucked, Eric,” You said, stepping into the elevator. “Oh wait, you already did. Do yourself a favor and sell that ring to pay for a therapist.” And the door closed on him.

As soon as the elevator started to move, you hit the floor and sobbed. Why? Why was he like this? You thought everything was perfect up until a few months ago, and you hadn’t know he felt like this. He always seemed happy. How were you supposed to know otherwise if he never said anything?

How you got back home, you didn’t know, because you didn’t remember it. You grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the freezer and didn’t even bother with a glass. For about an hour, you just sat there disheveled on your couch, crying and drinking.

Sometime later, there was a sheepish knock on your door. You hoped to God that it wasn’t Eric, but when you opened the door, Errol was there. Errol, Eric, and their sister Enya, were all from the same clutch of eggs, so he looked a lot like his brother in that they all had white, black, gold scales, golden eyes, cream colored skin, and blond hair. Errol was a bit larger that Eric, and where Eric wore his hair short, Errol kept his long and braided back. You always thought that it made him look elegant, despite his size. He was still wearing his work clothes, as if he’d just come from his construction job.

You and Errol hadn’t spent much time together alone, since Eric was a little jealous of other men. He’d always been very nice to you, though, and liked you just as well as the rest of his family. He’d even given you advice a few times in the past when you and Eric were fighting.

“Can I come in?” He asked, wincing.

“Did you know?” You asked him, your throat raw and hoarse from crying.

“No, I didn’t know,” He said solemnly.

“Don’t bullshit me, Errol,” You replied harshly.

“I swear I didn’t know. I would have told you, I promise. My brother can be an asshole, but I never thought he would do something like this.” Errol grimaced. “Are you okay?”

“Do I fucking look okay?” You retorted, your voice shaking as the tears returned. “If you’ve come to get his stuff, just get it and leave.”

“I couldn’t give less of a shit about his stuff, I’m here for you,” Errol said. He held up a couple of plastic bags. “I brought take out and ice cream.”

“I’m not hungry,” You said vaguely, but you moved aside to let him in.

“I got alcohol, too,” He said as he slithered inside. “I could make you a Bailey’s float.”

You sighed and sniffled. “Okay.”

You sat at your table as he bustled around making the drink, laying your tear-flushed face on the cool surface of the wood.

“What did I do wrong?” You asked weepily with your cheek pressed against the table.

“Nothing,” Errol said as he lay the glass in front of you, moving a chair so that he could coil up next to the table. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why did he do it?” You asked, sitting up and taking a watery bite of the ice cream. “Why wasn’t I enough? He said ‘girls,’ which means there’s probably more than the two I know about. How long has he been doing this? Our whole relationship?”

“When he called me to come over here and get his stuff for him, I asked. I’m not sure if he was telling me the truth, but he said it’s only been the last year.” Errol snorted derisively. “Only.”

“How many girls?” You asked.

He shook his head. “He wouldn’t tell me. He kept trying to get me to side with him, but…” Errol rolled his eyes. “I’m not buying anything he says right now.”

“Did he do this to his other girlfriends?”

“Well, you were his first serious girlfriend,” Errol said. “Before you, he only dated casually, so it was never a problem. When he said he really loved you, I thought he meant it.”

“Yeah.” Your lip quivered and you stabbed the spoon into your float. “Me too.”

Errol reached out and pulled you into a tight hug, which you sank into and let loose again, soaking his shirt in tears.

“I’m so sorry,” Errol whispered into your hair.

At some point, Errol put you to bed. You were exhausted and drunk and just wanted to sleep, so he lay you down and left you to it.

When the morning came, you felt like your head had been run over with a truck. You decided to get some coffee going before taking a shower, but to your surprise, Errol was still there. He was in the kitchen on the phone, his hair out of it’s usual braid and tumbling down his shoulders.

“What the hell is wrong with you, dude?” Errol said. You immediately realized he was talking to his brother. “No, I’m not picking up your shit. I don’t care if she burns it all.” He was silent for a moment, and you could hear Eric speaking. “No… No, you’re full of shit. Do you know what a good thing you had? Do you have any idea what I would give to have what you just shit on? …fuck no, I’m not going to talk her into taking you back, are you insane?! Get over yourself… No… No, it’s not happening, you can go fuck yourself right now… Look, I don’t have time for your bullshit right now.”

Errol hung up and turned, startled to realize you were standing there. “Oh, hey,” He said. “How are you feeling?”

“Not great,” You replied honestly. “I didn’t know you were still here.”

“Yeah, you were in bad shape last night and I didn’t want to leave you alone. I slept on the couch, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah, no, that’s fine,” You said. “I was just going to make coffee.”

“Oh, I already made some,” He said, going to the coffee pot and pouring you a mugful. “I figured you could use it. I’ve got breakfast coming too, something greasy to absorb all that alcohol.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” You said, sipping the coffee. It was really good, but not your normal brand, though it tasted very familiar. Actually, now that you thought about it, you always drank the gross coffee Eric liked. This was a nice change. “I’m going to take a shower and wash last night off of me. Are you okay here?”

“Yeah, yeah, take your time,” He said, turning to pull down plates and prepare for breakfast.

You were about to turn to the bathroom but stopped. “Errol.”

He looked back up at you. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for… thanks.”

He smiled at you. “It’s no problem at all.”

You took your shower with your head pressed against the tile. Why couldn’t you just forget? Why couldn’t you put all of it out of your mind and stop thinking about it? What would it take to make the pain stop?

The water was cold by the time you got out, and when you went back into the kitchen, the food had arrived and Errol had everything set out on the table. He looked up anxiously when you came in.

“You okay?” He said, concerned. “You were in there for a worryingly long time. I was thinking about going in there if you hadn’t come out in five minutes.”

“I’m fine. Well, not fine, but you know.”

“Yeah,” He said sympathetically. “Try to eat. All you had last night were two bites of ice cream and a lot of alcohol.”

You picked up your fork and speared a sausage. “I must look horrible.”

“Nope, not possible,” He said, tucking into his own plate of food. “A person can look tired and cute at the same time, you know.”

You snorted, prodding your puffy face gently. “You’re too nice. Maybe I should have dated you instead.”

He laughed. “You know, it’s actually kinda funny, I was going to ask you out back in college before you started dating Eric.”

“Really?” You asked, surprised.

“Yeah, he kind of sniped you, if I’m being honest.”

“I never knew that,” You said. “Did he know you wanted to ask me out?”

“Oh, yeah, I told him,” He said, shoveling eggs into his mouth. “I told him there was a girl at my college who always went to this one coffee shop near campus, and I told him I was going buy you your favorite coffee and cookies as an icebreaker.”

Your head rocked back. “That’s exactly what he did when he asked me out.”

Errol tsked sardonically. “Yeah. I know.”

You scoffed. “Wow, what an absolute asshole.”

Errol shrugged and smiled. “Ancient history now. Do you want some more coffee?”

“Yeah, thanks,” You said as he filled your cup. “This is really good, what is it?”

“Orange and almond mocha.”

You cocked your head. “Wait… isn’t that the blend I drank at the coffee shop? It used to be my favorite.”

“I know,” He said. “I ordered some. I thought it might be a nice pick-me-up. The shit that Eric drinks is revolting.”

“That’s definitely true,” You said, looking at Errol closely. “You remembered what my favorite coffee blend was from five years ago?”

Errol looked up at you. His face seemed carefully blank.

“Yeah, but I mean, it’s no big deal.” He wiped his mouth and sat back. “I should get going, I have work in a few hours. Are you going to be okay here on your own?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I think I’m going to take some personal days.”

Errol nodded.”That’s a good idea. I’ll call later to check on you, okay? If you need anything, just text me.”

“Okay,” You said, feeling a little off-balance.

Errol smiled and let himself out, and you were left standing there, staring after him as an overwhelming sense of realization hit you like a freight train.

…did I date the wrong brother all this time?

Later in the day, Eric called. You almost weren’t going to pick up, but you decided to see what he had to say for himself now that the heat of the moment had passed.

“What do you want?” You said brusquely.

“Why did my brother spend the night at your house last night?” Eric said immediately.

“...excuse me?” You replied, incredulous.

“You heard me. What the fuck was he doing there?”

“I don’t see how that is any of your business.”

“What do you mean, it’s not my business? He’s my brother and you’re my fiance!”

“Ex-fiance,” You corrected him. “First of all, you are the one who told him to come over in the first place. Secondly, I was not obviously doing well last night and he stayed to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid or die in my sleep of alcohol poisoning. And third, and I cannot stress this enough, it’s none of your fucking business.”

“Don’t bullshit me, you know he’s in love with you.”

Your head snapped back in agitation. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Oh, you really don’t know? Ms. Perfect doesn’t know that my asshole brother has had a crush on you for years?”

“You’re full of shit, Eric,” You retorted. “Don’t drag Errol into this.”

“Did you just decide to fuck my brother to get back at me, is that it?”

“Fuck you, Eric!” You hung up the phone and hit the floor, a wave of anguish washing you again. What the hell was wrong with him? Why did he have to make everything worse?

The phone rang again, and it was Eric. You decided to block him and be done with it. You got a notification from Facebook, and then Twitter, and then Instagram, all from Eric. Every new notification made your anxiety rise higher and higher until you were balled up on the floor, sobbing again. In desperation, she dialed Errol’s number.

“Hello?”

“Please help,” She begged, weeping. “He won’t leave me alone. He keeps messaging me and calling me. I can’t… I can’t do it…”

“I’ll take care of it, don’t worry,” Errol said. He sounded angry.

“Can you come over? Please?”

“Of course, I’ll be right there.”

“Okay. I’m going to turn off my phone.”

“That’s a good idea,” He said. “If I need to, I can message you on your gaming console.”

“Okay,” You said. “Bye.”

He hung up with you and you turned your phone off, sitting on the floor of your kitchen in the blissful silence, unable to get up.

Was that true? Could it be possible that Errol had been in love with you the whole time you’d been dating Eric? He said he’d wanted to ask you out. He remembered tiny details, like what your favorite coffee had been. He made you your favorite dessert when you were miserable without even having to ask what it was. He stayed overnight to make sure you didn’t get hurt or hurt yourself. He bought breakfast and defended you. He didn’t have to do any of that. He was just your fiance’s brother. Ex-fiance.

He arrived shortly after you called him. As soon as he entered the house, before he had a chance to say anything, you reached up, took his face in your hands, and kissed him. For a second or two, there was no reaction, but then he leaned into the kiss, deepening it, savoring it, before abruptly putting his hands on your shoulders and pushing you back, forcing you to look him in the eye.

“...why did you do that?” He asked you, his face grim.

“Eric told me,” You said. “He said you’ve been in love with me the entire time I was dating him. Is that true?”

Errol looked down and away. “Look--”

“You told Eric on the phone that you’d have given anything to have what he had. You meant me, right?”

“Please don’t do this.”

“Errol, look at me!” You shouted.

It seemed to take a lot of will, but Errol’s eyes flicked back up to meet yours. They were pleading with you.

“Do you love me?”

His face scrunched as if he were in pain and he swallowed hard, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t…

“Don’t…lie to me,” You said in a tense whisper, tears spilling from your eyes. “Do you?”

Tears began to gather in his own eyes. His response was barely audible.

“…yes.”

“For how long?”

“Since I first saw you in the coffee shop.”

You tried to press forward to kiss him again, but he held you firm, sniffing. A tear rolled down his cheek.

“But I don’t want to be used to get revenge on my brother,” He whispered back, his voice strangled and uneven. “It’s not good for you and it’s not fair to me. You know that.”

Your face crumpled. He was right.

“I’m sorry,” You sobbed, unable to look at him anymore. “I just don’t want to think about him anymore. I don’t want him in my head.”

Finally, Errol pulled you into a hug.

“I know,” He said. His body was tense, as if he were restraining himself. “We can revisit this later. Much later.”

“When?” You asked piteously.

“Not now. Not soon. You need time to heal and I… need to think.”

“I’m sorry, Errol,” You cried into his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I never saw it.”

He laughed slightly. “It’s not your fault. I got really good at hiding it. And Eric always kept you at arms length from me. I think he was afraid I’d steal you away or something.”

He let you go and you stepped away, looking at the ground in shame.

“I’m sorry if I made you feel like I was using you,” You said. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

He put his hand under his chin and made you look up at him, his thumb stroking your cheek. “For what it’s worth, I’m relieved the secret is out now. Tiptoeing around you and Eric was exhausting. The engagement was my worst nightmare, because it meant I’d have to just suffer in silence forever.”

“Well, I’m glad that’s over for both our sakes, then,” You said, attempting to smile.

He smiled too, but it was very soft. Gentle. “I don’t… think it’s a good idea for us to hang out together much from now on, at least for a while,” He said, letting go. “But… we can text. We can call. If you need anything, I’m always here for you. That’s always been true.”

You nodded. “I know.” You sighed and took another step back. “I’m going to miss you.”

His smile widened sadly. “I’m not far, but… I know what you mean.”

With the both of you in tears, he turned, opened the door, and was gone. Thirty seconds after he left, however, you got a text.

>Are you okay?

You smiled through your tears, feeling glad and grateful that he was still communicating with you. >No. But I think I will be.

>Good.

>Are you okay? You asked in return.

>Honestly, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. This was a lot at once.

>Yeah, no kidding. I think I may see a therapist to help me out.

>That’s a really good idea. Maybe I should too.

>I think everyone should at least once.

>Yeah. Do you need anything?

>No, I’m okay. Thank you for everything, Errol.

>It’s my pleasure.

Some time passed. You and Errol talked and texted every single day. Neither of you brought up dating each other and carefully avoided affectionate language. He wanted you to heal and you wanted to give him a fair chance without the cloud of his brother hanging over you.

Talking to him was effortless, like talking to yourself. You each had your own tastes and dislikes, but you both loved a lot of the same things and had similar desires. You both loved your jobs, enjoyed the same music, gushed over books you’d read, and liked playing board games. One of your favorite things to do was watch movies remotely over Zoom. It was almost like being on a date, even if you couldn’t be together.

As hard as you tried not to, you compared everything Errol did to Eric. Even still, it was obvious that Errol had always been better suited to you than Eric ever was. It was abundantly clear that you had indeed been dating the wrong brother the entire time.

On what was supposed to be your anniversary with Eric, Errol sent you a link to play a horror game with him. Errol hated anything horror, so instead of spending the day crying and drinking and cursing Eric for being alive, you got to laugh the whole day at how loud Errol screamed when he was startled. It ended up being a wonderful day.

You did see a therapist, as did Errol, and the two of you would talk about your sessions with each other, sharing the advice the counselors had given you. He also sent you gifts through delivery, like the coffee you loved and your favorite treats. Whenever you’d had a bad day or had to deal with Eric due to post-breakup business, a treat would arrive the next day, and it always put a smile on your face.

You were worried that all the time apart might change how Errol felt, but he never wavered. You woke up every day to a text saying good morning, and went to bed after talking to him for at least an hour about your day. After a month, you realized that a day or two would go by when you wouldn’t think of Eric at all. You hadn’t thought that would be possible when you first broke up with Eric, and he did still haunt your thoughts most of the time, but the respite from the emotional distress of thinking of him, even for a short time, was wonderful.

Three months after the breakup and his confession, you, Errol, and your therapists all decided that you were ready to date again. That same day, Errol showed up on your doorstep with flowers. The sight of him was like breathing fresh air after being underwater.

“Hi,” He said, smiling brightly.

“Hi,” You replied, stepping forward to pull him into a hug. He reciprocated without hesitation.

“So…” He said, not letting go. “Do you want to go out with me tonight?”

“Yes,” You said, cuddling him closer.

He pulled back and kissed you for a very long time, tasting your lips and teasing his tongue just inside your mouth. When he pulled away, he pressed his forehead against yours and just looked at your face, touching your cheeks with his fingertips. Eventually he stepped back.

“Let’s go.”

Dating him was amazing. He knew everything there was to know about you, so he took you to places you loved, to all your favorite restaurants, to concerts he knew you’d enjoy. It was like you’d been dating for years already, even though it was just a few weeks. You made out like teenagers, hot and heavy, but he was careful about being intimate too quickly, though, still fearful about being a rebound. You respected that.

You were already talking about the future, though. You both wanted to get married eventually and to be parents before you turned thirty. Before breaking up, you had been talking about having kids with Eric, which was something he had expressed interest in during the start of your relationship, but recently he had been making excuses, like he didn’t have enough in savings or he didn’t feel ready. You guessed you knew why now.

You were worried that his family would be angry with you for ending your relationship with Eric and dating Errol, but they seemed completely understanding. It was likely they were also aware that Errol had been in love with you forever, and the fact that Eric cheated on you wasn’t something they were proud of. You were still warmly invited to all the family gatherings with Errol, and while having Eric there was a little awkward, his seething anger at seeing you happy with Errol was the best revenge you could have asked for.

“They let everyone in the office have the day off. Do you want to hang out today?” You asked Errol one night after about a month and a half of dating.

“Ordinarily I’d love to, but I’m feeling kinda weird today. Squishy. I think I’m going to have my period soon.”

He wasn’t being hyperbolic; nagas with male sex organs both created the eggs and fertilized them, but they didn’t have a womb or cavity in their bodies where the eggs could incubate, which is why they needed people with uteruses to propagate the species. It took a month for the eggs to develop inside them, but after that, they could implant them into another person’s body at any time they chose. However, after a year, the eggs died naturally and were expelled from their bodies, therefore, male nagas experienced periods once a year. Eric usually went to a specialized facility where the eggs would be humanely disposed of.

“Are you sure? Isn’t it rather soon for that.”

“I went into heat last week. The eggs usually die quickly after that.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize,” You said. “Why did you go into heat? That typically only happens when nagas in a sexual relationship with someone, right?”

“That, and if you’re experiencing extreme sexual needs that aren’t being met.”

“Oh. Ohhh…” You hissed in a breath. “Is it because of me?”

“It’s nothing you need to worry about,” He reassured you. “It’s my problem. I’ll take care of it.”

You were silent for a moment of deep contemplation. He seemed to sense you were thinking about something.

“What’s the matter?” He asked.

“Do you think the eggs are still viable?”

It was his turn to be silent. “Um… maybe. Probably. I think it’ll be another week before I need to go in to evacuate them. Why do you ask?”

“I was just thinking…” You said slowly. “We both said we wanted kids. And I know we’re just starting out, and this is super sudden, and it probably doesn’t even make sense to do this now, and we haven’t even had sex yet, but… oh, god, I’m rambling…” You sighed heavily. “If you’d like, we can wait until next year when we’ve been together for longer, but… it just seems like this is a good opportunity. It… feels right, you know what I mean? If that’s what you want.”

He took another moment of silence to think really hard about what you were saying. “Are you sure about this, honey?” He asked you finally.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am,” You said resolutely. “I love you, and I’m in a good place, both emotionally and financially. I’m ready to be a mom. I have been for years.” You fidgeted with the hem of your shirt anxiously. “Is this something you want? I mean… I totally understand if it isn’t. If you want to wait, that’s fine with me. I just… I want to do this.”

His voice turned sultry. “You really want my eggs?”

You grinned and bit your lip. You’d learned through hints in conversations you had with him that he had a little bit of a breeding and pregnancy kink.

“Yeah. But we should act fast if we want them to take.”

“I’ll be right over,” He said, and the phone clicked.

You immediately went into the bathroom to get ready, feeling nervous. There was a weight of expectation on you, not just because you were talking about getting pregnant, but also because of how long Errol had wanted to be with you. You were scared that you wouldn’t live up to his expectation.

He arrived shortly after, looking excited and nervous. You pulled him into your arms and kissed him. He was shaking.

“Are you okay?” You asked.

“Yeah,” He said, touching your face reverently. “I’ve just… I’ve been dreaming of this for so long. I can’t believe it’s actually happening.”

You smiled softly at him. “Come on.” You took him by the hand and pulled him toward the bedroom. He took a deep, shaky breath and followed.

Once in the room, he pulled you in and kissed you again, deeper this time, more probing, his body pressed flush against yours.

“I’m not sure how to… begin…” He said. “I don’t know what you like and don’t like yet.”

“We can learn as we go,” You said. “We don’t have to rush.”

“Well, what do you like? Do you have any kinks I should know about?”

You laughed. “I have a few, I guess.”

“Tell me about one,” He said.

Instead of telling, you knelt down and sat on your knees with your butt resting on your feet, perched forward on your hands, and looked up at him through your lashes.

“What would you like me to do for you?” You asked, biting your lip.

His eyebrows rose and a startled smile spread across his face. “Oh,” He said. Slowly, he took off his long shirt, exposing his torso and the slit on his lower abdomen, usually closed and imperceptible from his scales, but now swollen and puckered slightly. He ran his fingers through your hair where you were crouched on the floor and came close, so that his slit was near your face.

“Touch it for me, sweetie,” He said.

Gently, you circled one finger around the slit, feeling it pulse under your touch. He exhaled sharply and his head fell back, his braid swinging. With your forefinger and middle finger, you stroked it up and down, watching it open slowly. You leaned forward and kissed it, and he spasmed, groaning.

Gradually, two dicks emerged from his slit, a long, thin one with a spear-like head, and a shorter, thick one with a bulbous head. You knew each had a different purpose. Normally, the thin one would be retracted so that nagas could just enjoy sex, but the thin one was an ovipositor. It’s what implanted the eggs. You knew not to touch it, since it secreted a numbing agent that made implanting the eggs easier.

“Now?” You asked.

“Not yet,” He said. “You’re not ready yet. Stand up.”

You obeyed, and he began to undress you. You started to help, but he said, “No, no, let me do it.”

You put your arms back down and let him peel your clothes off. And then he just looked at you.

“Stand still,” He said. “Stay quiet.”

You nodded, obeying.

“Good girl,” He whispered. “That’s my good girl.”

He started with your shoulders, letting his fingers run over your skin, down your arms, up your sides, caressing your breasts, down your belly, and reached one hand between your legs. You gasped.

“Shh,” He said. “Stay silent.”

It was a hard order to follow, as he touched your pearl and massaged it slowly, running a finger inside your slit as he did. Your breathing was uneven and you had to bite a finger, but you managed to be quiet.

“You can make all the noise you want soon,” He promised seductively. “I just want to test how good you can be for me.”

You nodded again, your body shivering at his touch.

He brought his face very close to yours, so that your lips were mere millimeters apart, but stopped short of actually kissing you. You could feel his cool breath on your neck and chest, and it made your heart race.

“You’re getting there,” He said, pushing a finger inside your entrance. You inhaled, but bit down on your cheek to stay silent.

“Good girl,” He said, pulling his finger out. "Lay face down on the bed and lift your ass up. Spread your legs open.”

You nodded again and followed his orders, doing exactly what he asked of you. He slithered up behind you and went back to touching between your legs with one hand, the other sliding up and down your spine. You felt him sink down and kiss your thighs.

“You can moan for me, darling,” He said.

You were happy to obey, and whimpered against your pillow as he licked a long stripe from behind, kneading your buttocks as he did. He moaned as he sucked on you, your legs shaking. He pressed his thumb into you as he sucked, and you thought you were going to cum. He stopped just before that happened, leaving you feeling desperate.

“Good,” He said. “You’re perfect.” He crawled over you from the back so that his face was next to yours and he kissed you. “Are you still sure about this? We can just have sex, I don’t have to breed you.”

“You want to, don’t you?”

“Don’t worry about what I want right now, are you sure you’re ready for this?”

“Yes,” You simpered. “I want it. Give them to me. Please. I want them.”

He bit his lip, looked at you like you were something he wanted to eat, and grinned. “Good girl.” He went out of view then, and you felt his hands on your hips.

“Be still,” He said. “Let me in.”

You nodded, and felt the slim tube enter your body. The anesthetic began working immediately, so you only had a vague sensation of it pushing all the way in, penetrating your womb, and fixing itself there.

“Are you hurting, love?” He asked as he lay over you, putting his arm under your head so that you could lay on it and resting his body on top of you. Your hips were still in the air and your stomach wasn’t touching the bed.

“No, I’m okay,” You replied.

“Good,” He said, sounding a bit strained, his body tensing. His stuttering breath blew through your hair. “It’s starting.”

He grunted, but you couldn’t tell if it was in pleasure or pain. His breathing was sharp and punctuated as the egg moved down through the ovipositor and into you. You could feel a small swell in your stomach, but it wasn’t painful. He pressed his forehead against your shoulder and relaxed and shuddered, gasping.

“Did it hurt?” You asked.

“Not exactly,” He replied a little breathlessly. “It feels good, but it’s also a bit of work to push it out. Sorry this isn’t as sexy as you might have hoped.”

“Who said it wasn’t?” You replied, nuzzling him. “It’s like a special kind of foreplay. Besides, I’m really enjoying all the sounds that are coming out of you.”

“I can feel that,” He said, laughing. “You keep squeezing me.” He tensed again and started grunting, hugging you tightly.

“You’re doing great,” You told him.

“This is… harder than I thought it would be,” He said stiltedly. You could feel the sweat from his brow dripping on your skin.

“You can do it,” You said, kissing his arm as it gripped you and biting his thumb. “How many do you think there are?”

“I think three,” He said. He exhaled forcefully, and you felt another swell slip into you as he panted.

“One more, honey,” You said. “Deep breaths.”

He snickered, and then groaned. “Okay…” He said. He gripped you hard as the last one came and passed through. You were beginning to feel a full sensation in your belly and felt glad this was the last one.

Once it was out, the ovipositor retracted and he flopped onto the bed, gasping like a fish.

“Whoa,” He said. “Laying them in a person is way different than disposing of them.”

“How so?” You asked, moving to lie on your side so that you could touch him. He was clammy and cold.

“That felt great,” He said, looking over at you and smiling. “Like, it hurt a bit, but it felt like a small orgasm every time.”

“Probably a biological incentive to procreate,” You said, kissing his chest and neck.

He snorted. “Probably.” He looked at you with his eyes half lidded. “It’s going to be a few minutes until you get the feeling back down there. Why don’t you spend some time and play with me?”

“Is that an order?” You asked.

“Do you want me to punish you?” He asked.

“Maybe I’ll like it,” You said with a smirk.

He took you by the chin and made you look down at the second, larger cock, which was still erect and bobbing. “Touch me.”

You went down and sat astride his tail so that he could watch you take his cock in your hand, and begin to slowly pump it up and down.

“Hmm, that’s good,” He said with a satisfied sigh. “Let me know when your feeling comes back. We don’t want to waste time.”

“I will,” You said, stroking him. Your stomach felt tight, so you rubbed it as you touched him, drawing his eye. He watched you hungrily.

“I can’t believe you did that,” He said, smiling at you.

“We’re only half-way there,” You told him. “Don’t get too excited.”

He bucked his tail and nearly knocked you over onto the bed, making you shriek and laugh.

After a few minutes of teasing and touching and good-natured laughter, the feeling began to return. You started rocking on his tail to be sure, and realized that you were extremely sensitive.

“It’s back?” He asked

You nodded, pleasuring yourself against his body.

“Good. Lay down.”

You obeyed, and he moved to lay on top of you, his tail between your legs and his slit lining up with yours, kissing you deeply and rolling your nipples in his fingers. He pushed himself inside you as he kissed you, careful not to go too deep, as the ovipositor had made you a little sore. You rolled your body against his in time with his thrusts. You were so sensitive that you could already feel the crest of ecstasy beginning to wash over you.

“I love you so much,” He whispered against your skin. “I’m so happy.”

“I love you,” You replied, your hands in his hair as he moved inside you with purpose, precision. “I’m close. I’m so close.”

He stopped immediately, and you groaned shrilly, the sensation of denial sending a shiver up your back.

“Not yet,” He said, biting your lower lip. “Not until I say. Be a good girl.”

You nodded, panting and trembling, but your body was betraying you, writhing desperately against him, trying to regain the friction.

“Be still,” He said. “I’m not going to move again until you be still.”

You squealed in need, but you did your best to make your body stop clutching at him. It took a minute, but you managed to settle down.

“Good,” He said, slowly moving inside you again. “Good girl.”

“Cum inside me,” You begged. “Please.”

“I will,” He said, kissing you. “When I want to. Be patient and I’ll reward you.”

Your body was wound so tightly that you thought you were going to explode, practically vibrating underneath him. The sight of it made him grin.

“You’re so beautiful,” He said, licking your earlobe, still keeping the maddeningly slow pace. “Do you want it that bad?”

“Yes!” You groaned. “Yes, please. Errol, please.”

He thrust sharply, but not hard, and you nearly came undone. You cried out, about to snap like a string.

“Are you always going to be a good girl for me?” He whispered sinfully.

“Yes!”

“Do you promise me?”

“Yes!”

“Say it. Say ‘I promise.’”

“I promise, I promise, please!”

His thrusts became targeted again. “Beg me some more.”

“Errol, please! Please let me cum, please!” You cried. Every muscle, every nerve in your body was screaming for release.

“You can cum when I tell you to,” He said, though his movements were extremely efficient now. He was very good at drawing this out.

“I can’t take it, please!” You begged.

“One more time, say you love me, and I’ll give you what you want.”

“I love you! I love you so much! Please!”

From there, he wasted no time, slamming himself into you with speed. In no time at all, you were a screaming, shaking mess underneath him, thanking him over and over. The tension in his body and the sudden shout and moaning from him told you that he had reached his peak too.

“Not yet,” He gasped, rearing up. “I’m not done yet.”

He had leaned up so that he could look down at you and put his hand on your stomach, feeling the new hardness there. He kept going, pistoning against your body, snapping his hips against you, and rode the wave for a second time, all focus and concentration.

The both of you came one final time before he collapsed on the bed beside you, sucking in air as hard as you were. For a few minutes, all you could do was breathe.

After some time, he left the bed and went into the bathroom, and you heard the water in the tub running. You were barely conscious when he came back and lifted you out of the bed, taking you into the bathroom, and lay you down in the warm water of the bath. You were so tired and boneless that you could hardly raise your head, so he carefully, lovingly washed your body, paying special attention to your belly.

“Are you alive?” He asked after some time of sitting next to the tub, watching you drift in and out.

“I think so,” You replied, opening your eyes to smile sleepily at him. “Do you think they took?”

“We won’t know for a while. You should take it easy until then.” He smoothed the hair away from your face and stroked your cheek. “You’re going to have my babies,” He said, laughing a little.

“I hope so,” You said, taking his hand and kissing the palm.

“Eric is going to be pissed,” Errol said, snickering.

You snorted. “Honestly, I haven’t thought about him once today. This isn’t about him.”

Errol kissed you. “You’re right. It isn’t. It’s about us.” He lay his hand on your stomach and smiled gently. “All of us.”

Only one of the eggs took, but that was okay. Errol’s parents were overjoyed to learn they’d be getting a grandchild. Both you and Errol decided Eric could learn it on Facebook, like all the other strangers and acquaintances in your lives.

You took maternity leave so that you could pass your gestational time in relative peace. Errol fussed over you, making sure you ate properly and went with you to all your appointments. You made the decision to lay the egg at home instead of the hospital, and Errol’s sister acted as the midwife. It was the toughest work you’d ever done, and Errol was the best cheerleader you could have asked for.

Errol took paternity leave, like you had done, since he couldn’t leave the egg, anyway. He incubated the egg for the rest of the gestation period, curled up around it day and night. Errol’s son, Ewan, was born six months after being conceived, and within another year, you and Errol were married.

You often wondered if things had been different, if you had dated Errol from the beginning instead of Eric, if you’d be as overjoyed as you were at the moment. But then you figured that wondering about what ifs was a waste of time. You had a happy family to look after now, after all, and another clutch on the way. There was no time to worry about the past. The future was right in front of you.

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Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[kiddbegins]

begin again

evan buckley x oc

aka me posting my buck x gwen first date for no reason

“On a Wednesday, in a cafe, I watched it Begin Again.”

Gwen stood in her bedroom, digging around through her clothes for the right thing to wear. Was this a casual thing? Yes. Did she want to dress super casual? No. Because this was the first time in months that she was allowing herself to have an ounce of happiness. Allowing herself to go out there and let someone see the rawest form a girl could have.

The outfit she chose went perfectly with a pair of heels she had bought last year but never worn. Jeremy never let her. Not to a party, not even to a business meeting he had had. So really it was a mystery if they fit. Guess now was a good time to try them on… right?

Hesitantly, she slipped the shoes on, double checking herself in the full length mirror behind her door. It was good. It was nice, didn’t scream business meeting or ‘hey lets ditch and have sex’, and considering she had work in only a couple hours and this was just coffee and pastries at a cafe, it felt perfect.

Her parents were out, their ritual was to have breakfast out at least twice a week. Today was one of the days so she was alone in her thoughts as she left the house. She plugged her phone into her car to play some music for the drive. Only fifteen minutes.

And those fifteen minutes were full of anxiety. Would Buck like her outfit? Like her on the side of things where she wasn’t a firefighter? Her heart was racing but she shook her head. If it didn’t work out like that, they’d be friends. Regardless of status, they’d already interacted enough to stay friends if everything plummeted.

She had to keep reminding herself that as she parked, all the spaces for the block were taken so she was a bit away when she finally got out. The cafe was around the corner and she fiddled with the hem of her shirt before starting the walk there.

With every step she went over what she expected to happen. She was a boring, unfunny mess so if anything Evan would probably get out of there earlier than expected, causing her to carry her half of the check and head to work licking her wounds.

The bell above the door jingled, alerting anyone around of her presence and she spotted her date at a table in the middle of the room. He saw her almost instantly, how could he not? Everytime the bell rang from the front he turned in his seat to see if she was now coming his way. The first 7 times it wasn’t, but it was now.

Instantly, he stood, smiling widely while waving her over. Gwen walked over to him, letting out a light breath before smiling back at him. It was impossible not to. “Hey,” He went in for a hug, wrapping his arms lightly around her before moving to pull the chair out for her. Something she was not used to one bit.

“Hi,” She smiled softly, sitting in the seat and watching as he moved to sit back down. He’d already had a cup of coffee on the table but that was it, it seems he was waiting for her to even have something to nibble on. “How’s your morning been?” She added, a lady coming over to get an order in for the two.

Once she left, Buck shrugged. “Can’t complain. Not gonna lie I was worried you weren’t going to show.” He offered right off the bat, causing Gwen’s eyebrows to raise. And here she was thinking that he wasn’t going to be all that excited to see her.

She hid a smile before shaking her head, “I’m not exactly a flaker.”

“Thank god, imagine how embarrassing that’d be for me.” He joked, taking a sip of his extremely light coffee.

Gwen noticed the color of it and chuckled lightly. “How much cream is in that cup?”

“Probably about 50% of it.” He laughed and shook his head, “Nah, maybe like 4 of those little cups they give you. She gave me a weird look when I was putting them in too.” He sat back as Gwen’s coffee was brought out along with two muffins. One chocolate chip, one blueberry. The chocolate one was Buck’s.

She reached over and grabbed three of the equal packets, swirling it into her coffee. “Dark and sweet.” Buck spoke, “Light and bitter, two sides of a coin.” He stated and Gwen nodded. If it were Jeremy he would have rolled his eyes and told her not to waste the sugar in a drink where you can’t even taste it.

The thought of him made her shift in her seat, crossing her ankles loosely. Buck didn’t notice the slight change in demeanor so he leaned forward slightly. “Not to be the person that asks a million questions on a first date but this is a need to know, what music do you listen to? Because I listen to a mix of like rock and pop but I don’t think I can stand someone that listens to hard rap or something. No offense if you do but-”

“Evan,” She cut in with a laugh, shaking her head. “I don’t listen to hard rap. Or country really? Though there are some songs that I could scream at the top of my lungs. Mainly classic rock, my dad was a big metal head in his day and age. And of course hispanic music, being Cuban I couldn’t go any night in the summer without my neighbors blaring the music so loud that I’m positive you could hear it three blocks away.” Gwen tended to ramble when it came to things she liked talking about.

Music was one of those topics. She could go on and on about the classic rock band Queen, or Fleetwood Mac to Celia Cruz. “Yeah? Around my neighborhood if the neighbors could hear your music then you were being an inconvenience.” Buck countered, looking at her with awe. “But I’m glad we got that covered, cause like I said, I’m peculiar about my music choices.”

“I feel like everyone is peculiar in their taste of something. Like for instance if you like mint chocolate chip ice cream I might have to just up and leave this table right now,” Now she was joking to an extent but the taste of that flavor ice cream made her want to gag.

By the look on Buck’s face, he was guilty of her charge, “Okay well this was nice,” She fake got up before shaking her head, “No I’m kidding but don’t ever ask me to have a bite.”

He held up his right hand and nodded, “Swear.” A solid laugh came out of his mouth, catching her by surprise. Nobody ever thought she was funny. Any joke she tried to do was met with a blank face, maybe a pair of rolled eyes before the conversation continued.

In response to Buck’s laugh a grin spread on her face, “What’s your favorite band? You said you like classic rock right?” She asked, picking off a piece of her muffin to eat.

He didn’t answer right away, there was a clear sign of thought on his face. Thinking over his answer. “Hm, I like a lot of them, what a heavy question.” He mumbled with a light smile, looking down at his hands in a bout of concentration.

“Cause like, Queens iconic, so many good songs. But if I’m honest I really like The Animals. They have some really good songs. House of the Rising Sun is a classic.”

“No way, that’s been one of my favorites since I was little. I had a neighbor when I was a kid that only listened to like obscure bands and they were one of them. I have basically all of their albums in some form.” Gwen rushed out excitedly, seeing the smile on Buck’s face widen as she spoke more.

The boy leaned forward happily, “You get it! God I don’t think I’ve ever met someone that actually likes their music or has it anywhere but Spotify.”

The two rambled about classic rock for the next twenty minutes, who the best Beatles member was, which Motley Crue song they listened to most. It was as if the two were catching up after not seeing each other for ages rather than a first date.

“You know,” Buck randomly spoke after a moment of silence for both of them to drink the coffees in front of them. “I never understood the people that call the sun a planet.” He finally took a bite of his muffin and it was giant. The entire top was basically off of it, that's how big of a bite it was.

Gwen’s eyebrows raised in surprise as Buck ate it peacefully. “For example, I was out on this call once, and the guy was making a solar system diorama for his kid. But the sun was labeled a planet. Only noticed because he had somehow managed to get a skewer through his cheek, was going to leave that out but felt like you’d ask how I’d notice that little detail. Anyway I tried to correct him but he insisted he was right.”

He rolled his eyes. Finishing the top of his muffin while Gwen was still picking at hers. Though she was a sucker for talking about music or things she was interested in, when it came to stuff she wasn’t knowledgeable on or didn’t like, she fell quiet. Shy even.

“I love space, I don’t really know much but it’s so beautiful. I’d love to visit like Mars, or maybe one that hasn’t been visited.” She offered, there wasn’t much she knew about space so she just offered up the closest thing that she did. It was beautiful.

He finished off his coffee before looking at her, “Same, but I’m staying away from venus. You know it's the hottest planet in the solar system? You’d think it’s mercury but nope, venus.” Buck spewed off a random fact, catching Gwendolyn’s attention more than he already did.

She flinched back as her face twisted in confusion, “Oh? Why?” She was interested in what he had to say, maybe it was the idea of still learning new things at 26 or maybe it was his excited expression as he thought over what he was gonna say briefly before talking. Whichever it was, he was ready to offer up any information.

“Mercury has almost no atmosphere, which is what would hold in the heat from the sun. Unlike Venus, which has a suuuuper thick and heavy atmosphere. Have you ever been in a real greenhouse?” Buck was talking with his hands the entire time, and Gwen could pinpoint the excitement down his fingers.

“Uh…” She had to think, Rhode Island didn’t have many areas for stuff like that. “I don’t think I can say I have.” New York didn’t have any either, well, at least not that she knew of.

Buck scooched his seat closer, trying to keep his voice to where only the two of them could hear. “Well, Venus’ atmosphere makes it like a greenhouse, super hot and toxic. I’m talking ‘melt and erode you’ toxic.” He went on for a few minutes about the atmosphere and how Venus didn’t have enough water to bring co2 levels down and there was too much sulfur.

Gwen simply sat with her legs crossed and listened. Hopefully some of the information would stick and she’d be able to tell her parents about the planets and everything else Evan was so happily rambling about.

Both of their drinks were gone by now and same went for their muffins. The last ten minutes had just been pointless conversation about whatever came up as a topic.

“So why’d you become a firefighter?” Gwen asked, finally landing on the reason the two had even met. And what a terrifying first day it was. Buck’s face twinged down, causing her to lean forward slightly. “Unless you don’t want to talk about it.” She offered.

It was ingrained in her mind to always make sure the other person being talked to was comfortable. “I do, I became a firefighter because I knew that helping people, and having a sort of reason to my life was what I needed.” He offered, his eyes going down to a random stain on the table. A spot of coffee that he had spilt earlier.

“From what I saw at that highrise, you’re doing good.” Gwen offered. It was true, hearing how he (and Eddie) had handled both the girl and the injured man during that earthquake was amazing.

He slightly nodded, seeming to get into his head for a moment or so, some sort of hidden demon in his mind grabbing a hold while he sat for a nice morning meal. “Anyway, what about you?” He was good at diverting, bringing the conversation to someone other than himself when it came to topics that he didn’t want to talk about.

It was something he had developed the skill for in his earlier 20’s.

“Oh-, well, when I was younger my mom had really bad chest pains. So bad that she couldn’t even move to call 911. I was like, 12? Had never had something like that happen. She managed to get me to call them and they talked me through everything but being so vulnerable, so… open to the worst possible outcome, made me realize I want to help others the way that person at dispatch helped me.” The wrapped for the muffin was rolled and still being twisted between her fingers as she spoke.

It was hard then, her dad had been just out of town for some lawsuit, and her mom was so scared. Sarah was out with friends and Charlie was just a baby. Buck’s face fell soft, it seemed like a horrifying moment for anyone, especially a preteen.

“I’m sorry. Did she end up being okay?” He tentatively asked, unsure of what else to really say, parents can be a touchy subject. Trust that he knew. When Gwen nodded he let out a soft sigh of relief.

She placed the wrapper down gently, “Oh, yeah yeah, she made it. Everything was fine. Emphasis on was.” In an attempt to cut herself off from talking she dragged her eyes across the nearly spotless floors of the cafe.

Peaking at the strangers and how happy they seemed to be in their own social bubbles. When her eyes came back to Evan’s he had a look that came off like he wanted to know more, “I say was cause um, she has breast cancer now. Late stages. Don’t know if she’ll be able to get better but I’m okay, please, please, don’t give me that pity look.” It was one she didn’t know well in her own experience but had seen it enough around her to point it out.

On Buck it was his eyebrows tugging down along with the corners of his lips. “I’m not trying to, but I just, I am sorry that sucks. A lot. We can change the subject. Like, dream vacation spot?” He threw on a happy aura that slowly but surely dragged Gwen out by the hair.

“Hm, Venice probably. I want to ride on a gondola more than I want anything in this world. Maybe even more than be a firefighter.” She joked softly, earning another soft chuckle from the blonde across from her.

He nodded, his smile still as bright as the north star, “That’s a solid choice. I have a lot of choices and that’s definitely up there.” Which wasn’t exactly a proper answer to the question but seeing as it was pretty much time for them to head out, Gwen didn’t question it.

Both of their watches beeped: ten past nine. Meaning it was time to go. Buck stood first, tossing both of their trash away. Easily he pushed his chair in and offered his hand out to Gwen for her to take, leading them out of the building.

“This is kind of good, both working the same, or similar in time shifts. Makes hanging out wayy easier.” Evan stated, squinting as they stepped back into the sun, Gwen’s opposite hand going up to shield her eyes. He was right.

Dating as a first responder was hard. It isn’t easy for people that don’t get it. Same goes for doctors and such. Being with someone that has an odd schedule is difficult to adjust to. But other firefighters or paramedics could make it work.

As they walked down to her car, just chatting, Gwen wanted to tell him a million things. How she felt more accepted in this short date than the entirety of her last relationship. Or that him just getting her was such a refreshing change from Jeremy.

And she almost did.

Almost.

“You know, around this time of year my sister and I would always, always, watch the Halloween Town movies? It was always her favorite.” He broke their silence just a few feet from her car. Bringing the brunette’s attention back to him in that very moment.

She stopped them at the car, him looking it over. 2017 black Elantra. “Those are all really good movies. My favorite is the… third? One? The high school one.” She countered, facing him.

“Personally I love the original. A true classic.” He offered, leaning against the car like a cool guy in an early 2000’s romcom. “What other movies do you like? Childish or not.” It felt as if he didn’t want this date to end. Not that Gwen did either.

She held onto her purse strap tightly as she thought, “Childish would be Disney’s Hercules. Non would be this comedy I saw a few years ago, Without A Paddle. Super funny.”

“Never heard of it.” Buck’s words caused the girl to gasp. It was an amazing movie.

She shook her head quickly. “What? You have to. It has Matthew Lillard in it and hes amazing. So are the other guys, Dax Shepard and Seth Green.” Gwen listed off, the movie being so ingrained in her mind that she could pretty much quote half of it right in that moment.

Buck shrugged, “I’m sorry,” Quick glance to his watch, “I love this conversation but I have to go… maybe we can watch that together sometime?” He asked causing Gwen to stop mid sentence, a blush falling over her cheeks.

A second date. So this one went well. She went all out of her usual comfort zone and it went well. “Yeah, yeah we should.” She replied and Buck once again nodded, waving and giving his goodbyes before walking the way they came, to find his own jeep.

Once he was gone Gwen grinned widely, getting into her car.

Eveything about today was different. The past eight months had been nothing but hell. Love had scorned her more times than she could count, Jeremy worse than others. But Evan felt different. In a world of black cats he was a golden retriever. It was… refreshing?

That wasn’t exactly the word that Gwen wanted to use but it’s what she felt. Everything felt better. Bigger. Comfier.

So on this beautiful Wednesday morning. Gwen could feel it Beginning Again.

[listentothisyoooh]

Care For You; BC

A/N: This piece is +18, minors do not interact.

Summary: You come home from work, only to find your boyfriend, Chris, exhausted and drained. What can you say, when he asks you to make him feel better in your own special ways?

Warnings: sub Chan, soft dom female reader, hand jobs, orgasm control, edging, ropes, dirty talk, use of nicknames (mistress, little, pup, angel, etc), mention of the color system --

Word Count: 4.2k

“Hey, hi baby!” You whispered, sitting down on the edge of the mattress next to Chan’s rigid body, “When did you get home?” Caressing the tangled, short platinum blond locks sprawled on the pillow, you smiled down at his puffy, tired face; it probably wasn’t a good thing that you weren’t answered by a smile.

“An hour, I guess.” He rasped, his cords rugged with sleepiness and something else –something you didn’t quite like. The cool, white sheets covered him up to his shoulders, leaving no patch of pale skin open for your sight, and the faded shade of raspberry on his perky lips further demonstrated just how tired the man was.

“Oh honey,” You cooed, leaning over Chan to plant a kiss on his temple while he lay on his side, facing where you sat, “you seem exhausted. Are you alright? Did something happen?” You couldn’t really help the way your brows knotted as a sign of worry. Using arms as pillars next to your boyfriend’s figure, you bowed above him; ceiling cream lights now blocked away from his sight and he could look up at you with those wide, glossy eyes, the peachy gleam of the bedside lamp reflecting from them.

“I’m okay, babe, don’t worry;” He assured, settling on his back gently, “It was just—a very, very long day!” A light laugh puffing out of him, he pulled on the sheets to conceal the lower part of his face from you, eyes still locked with yours. Chan was always soft –so soft, gentle and sweet, and that was why you just couldn’t stop showering him with light, lingering touches, one now being granted for him across his left cheekbone and the side of his eye by your thumb; he seemed to really enjoy it, lids flowing down and expression turning into a relaxed, almost blank one.

“Anything I can do, Channie?” Your gentle question fluttered his eyes open, “want me to make you something? Or get you some pills to help you sleep?” Sometimes, when he was too spent, it became frustratingly difficult for him to fall asleep, so it wouldn’t be far from ordinary if he were to have the same problem now; puffy eyes, flushed cheeks and tousled locks only asked for a bit of rest.

“Can you take care of me?” His quiet voice rose from beneath the sheets, his linear eyes staring right into yours, making your chest quiver alongside that innocent little request.

“Of course!” You smiled, “What do you need? I can give you a massage…” Your suggestion was met with his negative nod, the grips over the edge of the cover tightening.

“No,” He gulped, “can you take care of me, mistress?” There was already a certain breathlessness in his words which only made you grit your teeth; he looked so devastatingly vulnerable, looking up at you with hope, exhaustion and plea in his stare.

“Aren’t you a little too tired for that, pup?” Was the last thing you wanted to say to him, the last thing he wanted to hear too; shaking his head no, Chan squirmed in place while waiting for you to answer to the desperate request in a way that would satisfy both of you.

Instead, you just smiled. Cupping his right, warm cheek, you lightly pinched its plumpness and traced your hand lower unto his neck and chest, pulling that nuisance of a fabric away from those beautiful lips and skin. He visibly gulped at your movements –at being scanned by your sharp eyes, but made no objections whatsoever; the easy compliance egged you on to inch his figure further southwards, fingers dancing on the white sheet. It seemed like he was bare under the covers, and when your hand finally clasped at the side of his right thigh and absorbed the gentle body heat, your assumptions turned out to be accurate, slapping a smirk on your face.

“Are you naked, little?” You asked, stare switching between Chan’s agape lips and anticipating, bright eyes; he did nothing, as if waiting for your sly hand to figure that out itself. “Why is that?” Your gentle tone tried to coax the words out of the man, “Were you being naughty when I was at work?”

“No!” It was adorable how the reply cut off his quiet sigh, being shot out to convince you, “No, I was just waiting for you, and… I fell asleep.” He explained, his covered chest heaving out of slight nervousness. A light chuckle sprang out of you while you flew down to peck his pretty lips.

“Relax, pup; I believe you.” You assured, “It would be fine if you did, though;” Leaning down on your elbow, you peppered lingering kisses near his mouth, your free hand caressing his bicep from over the covers, “you’ve been so good lately—you deserve a treat, both from me and yourself.” By the way his cheek flexed under your lips, you could tell he was smiling. “So, let’s give you a treat then, angel!” He shivered when your breath rubbed on the sensitive spot under his ear.

As soon as you backed away and got off of the bed, Chan rose up to sit on his butt and see what you were doing, the white cover dropping unto his lap; knowing that you’re being watched, you made your way to the small, antique chest placed on top of a console table next to your closet, and opened its lid, eyes immediately landing on the dark jade bundle of silk rope as well as the small tube of expensive, cinnamon scented lubricant, both of them sitting brazenly over the extra pile of naughty toys and accessories! You grabbed the objects with content, having already formed a plan in your head while expecting eyes bore into your back; you threw the equipment on the mattress right next to the man’s feet, fighting back a smirk when your short glance caught him staring at them and gulping. The chair next to the ajar door welcomed your buttoned shirt and jeans to leave you alone with the tight red top and black panties, watching you silently set a course to your boyfriend back on the bed.

“Are you feeling verbal today?” You asked the young man whose eyes obviously swayed over your figure without any intention. It took a dazed, short while for Chan to answer, but he finally did after a gulp and pursing his lips.

“I don’t know…” He shook his head when you sat in front of his folded legs on the mattress, putting a calf between your locations; his slumped, pale body was screaming for your attention in the most innocent way possible, which wasn’t all that rare for the man, as he, deep down, was very innocent, despite what he liked to show his fans and or had to portray of himself because of his career and his position in their group. It hadn’t really been mentioned yet, but you were aware of the heartwarming fact that you were the only person entrusted with this side of his character –a side he himself cherished dearly yet had always tried to suppress, until meeting you, of course.

“Well then,” You caressed his puffy cheek, pressing your forehead on his and giving him an Eskimo kiss, “we just have to find out, I guess!” Your soft chuckle mixed with the one Chan let out, and you found the moment intimate and soothing enough to begin kissing the man, allowing his passionate lips to gently dance over yours for a while before adding your tongue into the mixture and earning light huffs and sighs from his waving throat.

“Fold your arms on each other.” Guiding his hands, you helped him hold his left forearm in front of his abdomen and place the right one on top of it, wrapping his fingers around his elbows to show satisfaction for the plan; catching the wait in the slouched figure, you got a grip of the ropes behind your rear and started your rather enticing mission of binding the man’s arms together, knots and rings gently kissing his pale skin.

He was more than compliant, once or twice pecking your face when you leaned too close to tighten a knot or readjust a bundle; his breaths were even yet deep, and in between all of that, you could clearly witness a tent forming on the sheet sprawled on his lap, slow yet bold. His mind was taken by your scent, the close but still far away heat of your embrace, and he couldn’t help the way his body reacted to your light, accidental contacts across his arms; dear lord, was he touch-starved!

“All good?” You asked, finally finished with your work. His simple nod was good enough of an answer.

The brightness which reflected from the white covers on the bed turned him even paler and that allowed the jade rope to show off its elegant color on Chan’s bare figure. He looked stunning, blond hair sticking out in this direction or that, lips swollen and red from the excessive nervous biting; there was nothing holding you back from lifting up his chin and crashing your mouth unto his, having him nailed in place by a heavy grip on his thigh. He huffed over your face shakily as your hand plowed in between his locks which you now realized were damp; he must’ve showered after coming home from the studio, you guessed.

“You like this rope; don’t you, puppy?” You giggled, leaving a gentle kiss on his perky bottom lip, trailing down to his jaw and throat while pulling his head back. “Is it the fabric? Or the color?” Your question drowned in the dip of his neck vein as you sucked lightly on it, hearing him whimper impatiently and wriggle in place.

“Color.” He replied simply, trying to gulp with the uncomfortable position of his head. Your tongue, tracing wet lines on the distinct veins and bulges beneath his sensitive skin, made him tense uncontrollably; he was already so worked up, despite being tired.

“Yeah?” Your teasing tone sent a shiver into his shoulders, “I was thinking about getting you that mini wand vibrator you showed me the other day –the jade one…” Looking back up into his eyes, he panted lightly, “Good, yeah?” He nodded once again, not trusting his voice to make an appearance, making you smile with adoration, “What’s so special about jade anyway?” The man’s heart-rate suddenly picked up and he leaned his forehead above your ear out of embarrassment for what he was gonna confess to.

“It was the color of your underwear the first time you… um—the first time I met mistress!” He tried his best to voice his explanation in the least flustering way, however hard it was. The confession was accompanied by his little hiss when you giggled and dragged the covers off of his figure, making sure it created the slowest, roughest amount of friction and grip.

“Oh, right…!” You mused, pulling your head away only inches; he didn’t seem too pleased about that, but watching you lean forward on your left arm nailed next to his hip and looking up at him with a little smile was all he could think about at the moment. Your index finger on the free hand began drawing circles on his hard tip, “That was a good night, wasn’t it baby?” He was too busy staring into your eyes with knotted brows and a bitten lip, obviously tensing to prevent from moving under your touch; seeing his composure, you massaged the head of his member with your thumb and index finger, gliding them down to its edge and dragging back up without haste but with good pressure. “You were bad, really bad—remember?” Smirking, at the way he kept pursing his lips while looking down at you, you came to the conclusion that he probably wasn’t going to be verbal that day; he rarely was, to be honest –only when he was too pent up or maybe too cocky, which didn’t happen all that often, but it was worth the experiment. He might not have liked to be talkative at these times, but he damn sure liked being talked to; he had admitted so more than once, dialogues and monologues being half of the pleasure for him.

Gluing your lips on his chin, you felt him shake as the tip of your finger pressed unto his red slit and slid back and forth, eliciting short whimpers from his agape mouth; he squirmed and squirmed but with no apparent aim, since he neither tried to settle efficiently under your teasing touch, nor did he back away from it to protest. He kept staring at you as if there was something he awaited, gulping and gulping and gulping!

“Lie back and spread your legs for me, sweetie.” You crawled back to grant the man space for his task, the one he fulfilled right after hearing your command.

The now cool spot on the mattress welcomed his muscly back and the sheets straightened when his feet dragged away from each other to make a perfectly fitting nest in between his thighs for you. He had to strain his neck to look over at you, so you decided to help him out by hovering above his torso and grabbing your own pillow to jam it behind his shoulders, creating a better angle for his vision. It was the hardest thing to resist kissing his beautiful lips and you saw no point in it anyway, diving down to steal a few noisy, wet pecks from your boyfriend, retreating into your place near his groin next.

“Mistress has taught you well, hasn’t she?” You purred, kneeling between his legs and sliding them over your thighs to earn the closest spot possible, “You used to be so hesitant –so, so impatient too,” He kept licking his lips while gazing at you, his deep breaths egging you on, “but now look at you; a good,” Your palms slowly wrapped around his length and started screwing over its upper and lower half in opposite directions, “good little angel for me.” His head tossed back from the combination of your words and movements; he was fully hard and flushed.

A low whine echoed in the room when you detached your hands from him and grabbed the lonely bottle from over the mattress instead; the moment its contents poured on your palm and released their exotic scent, a breathy, whisper of your nickname rose also, Chan staring down at what you were holding. He was crazy about this smell –this certain smell that had always awakened a comfortable haziness inside him, enough to make it impossible for him to stand being in the dorm when Felix was baking croissants; it almost acted like an aphrodisiac for him, you had yet to understand why, and it would be a lie if one were to say you didn’t abuse this little effect!

“Red if it gets too much, yellow if you need a breath.” You repeated his safe words, earning a nod, and went back to clasping your palms on his member just like before, copying the same motion again; he shut his eyes with content, sighing when your warmth finally touched him, drenched in a scent he loved dearly.

In a matter of seconds, he was already mewling, dripping with precum, disheveled locks being plunged into the pillows. His state only worsened when your fingers formed a thin ring and placed it right beneath the prominent edge of his tip and started the classic vibrating motion on its ablaze nerves; a motion he had grown used to, no matter how torturous it was. Giving him short intervals, you managed to earn a glimpse of his face when he looked back down on your hand, eyes narrow and cheeks flushed –his entire upper body flushed.

“Am I bothering you, Christopher?” Hearing his complete name, he clenched his jaw and shook his head violently, most displeased with the full stop of your hands.

“No, no mistress, keep going!” His words were rushed and hoarse as he took a second to recount what he had said, “Could you continue?” He restructured his sentence after witnessing the raise of your brow, and his heaving chest, his sweet, calm voice was just too good to be ignored.

“Ah!” You cooed, “Such a polite little pup, huh? You’ve learned how to earn my favor, haven’t you? Yes, you have, gorgeous!” He was already too far away from sanity to comprehend your praises as your once again vibrating fingers knocked moans out of him one after another, having his legs wrap around your hips with the constant, cruel edging.

He couldn’t decide between watching the scene of your connection or throwing his head back to slap whimpers at the headboard; when he landed eyes on your hands skillfully tapping on the underside of his aching length through palms, all he could think of was finishing right then and there –it was shameful, how sensitive he was to the littlest of touches.

“Hey!” Your stern voice brought him back to his senses, making him stop gritting his teeth and look back down at you, “No hurting yourself!” Your frown confused him, your words too, but when you gestured towards his hands with the raise of your brows, he got the message; he’d become so lost in the on and off of the pleasure in his gut that he’d forgotten to notice the sharp pain of his nails digging into the side of his elbow.

This was the best opportunity –no, excuse, to frustrate him in the ways he liked, or usually did; you could only hope he’d like it now, too. Sliding your hands off of his weeping length, you kept a hard gaze on his linear, shiny eyes and placed your hands limp on your thighs, palms upwards to avoid leaving the mess of lube and precum on yourself.

“I told you never to hurt yourself, didn’t I?” His flushed face fell at your words, catching the serious worry on your features, “Don’t you wanna be good, Christopher?”

God, he hated his name when it left your mouth! He hated being called by his name when it came to you, because it never meant anything good. He felt cold all of a sudden, without your touch or a trace of your affection, and being naked was much, much more embarrassing. His chest was already heaving.

“I do!” He managed to voice out, awkwardly hoarse, “I am good, Mistress; always!” After all this time, it still flustered him to call you that certain name.

“Then why did you ignore my explicit order?” Yes, you were making a much bigger deal out of this than it was; the marks weren’t even deep, he knew that, you knew that.

“It won’t happen again –you have my word, Mistress… Please—“ He stopped to gulp past his dry throat, still looking into your soul with pleading eyes; he looked so tired, yet he never once dreamed of protesting –not to your work anyway.

“Please what, boy?” Your question had its sharp edges –sharper than Chan liked it. Was there any affection in boy? None he could feel, no –it felt colder than his own name.

“I wanna be good for Mistress;” He breathed out with knotted brows, “can I have one more chance? Please, I want—“ His arms wiggled desperately in between the rope, “I need to cum—“ He could feel fire searing his ears, “Can I, please? Only Mistress knows how to give that to me…” Was it enough? Did he have to go deeper? He couldn’t tell based off of your blank expression.

“Hmm…” A smile creept on your face just as the hum was released from your throat, “Such good manners!” You praised, lifting one hand to lightly drag over his pale, beautifully shaped thigh and finally plant around his cock again –a short gasp being his response, “Such a well-behaved little cub!” He clearly twitched at that! Your palm dragged up and down his veins and he was once again, jelly at your touch, “Who taught this little pup how to be so good and polite?” His moan interrupted your question when your other hand wrapped two fingers around the sensitive edge of his tip. One second he’d push his hips into the mattress to desert your touch, and the other, he’d push up to pump into your airy fist. “Christopher!”

“Mistress did!” His shaky answer came only after your call brought him back to earth and snapped his eyes open. “Only Mistress can tell pup to be good –he always listens to you, only you Mistress—oh, fuck, don’t stop –please!” His sweet voice became high-pitched whines as soon as the ring of fingers around his tip began vibrating again; squirming and spasming uncontrollably, he began throwing his hips up to feel more than the brush of your thumb on his base and the vibration of your fingers on his moistened head. “No—no no, ’m gonna cum—is it okay? Can—“ The hoarse groans piercing his mewls wouldn’t let him finish his thoughts, and your fingers weren’t helping his intellect either!

The bulging veins on his stretched back neck were ripe for marking and the way his pale skin had become many shades redder out of frustration and tension could only mean one thing: he’s few seconds away from covering his stomach with white.

What was cuter than normal, day-to-day Chris, was this Chris; the one writhing and begging and whining under the gentlest touch you could grant him –the one actually able to cum from that meager touch! His voice wouldn’t lower, making way for shameless babbles and incoherent pleas, and you just wanted to put him –and your cramping hand– out of misery.

“It’s okay, Little,” You murmured, still able to reach his ear from between his own noises, “you can cum in five…” Hearing the start of his countdown, Chan lowered his head to look at you, just like all the times he was close; he wanted to see you, and more importantly, he wanted you to see him lose it all. “Four…”

“Count faster!” His fingers were now somehow wrapped in the thick threads of the rope and tugged roughly; you could feel the way the mattress dipped eagerly behind you as Chan’s feet pressed on it with curled toes.

“Three…” You smirked, knowing full well his need for ‘being good’ is way more prioritized to his body than getting what he wants. He could always take what you gave him –every single time; he loved and yearned for the care that came after his success, he wouldn’t change it with anything. “Two…” A small, ecstatic mewl left him when your thumb caressed his slit rhythmically, body trembling out of the little stimulation that was successfully driving him insane.

“One.”

He managed to keep his teary eyes open as his mouth fell apart wider and wider for a scratchy moan to swim into the room with nothing holding it back whatsoever; a big, irritating knot came finally undone in his burning stomach and then there it was, hot strings of white connecting the skin of his purple tip to his abs, your fingers still delicately wrapped around his twitching cook.

There was a gentle thump when he let his head fall on the pillow and the way his chest rose and fell seemed kind of painful; he, on the other hand, looked as blissed out as he possibly could, sweat gleaming on his temples.

“Everything okay?” You massaged his member carefully to help it soften sooner and when your hands eventually left him, he huffed out.

“I’m good, all good.” He panted, glancing down at you lazily, catching your satisfied smile.

His mind kept slipping in and out of reality, and the next thing he felt was the warmth of a kiss on his forehead as cold, wet wipes danced on his belly.

“You did so well.” You whispered, taking advantage of the close vicinity, “Take a nap. I’ll order some food and we can watch something later before bed.” His hazy eyes stared up at you, nodding when your fingers slid over the knots over his biceps to rid him of the restraints.

“Is noodle soup okay?” You asked as your steps lead you to the chest to put back the items you’ve retrieved earlier, “Or maybe we should get tomato?” Turning around, you were met with the unconscious figure of your boyfriend, half covered with white sheets, face as puffy and soft as spring clouds.

You couldn’t help but coo and return to his side to pull the sheets higher over his naked body, and when he made no movement at your touch, you just knew he was knocked out cold; and that meant he’d be up in two-three hours, hungry as a starved wolf, and he will need any kind of food he can find –so soup is probably not the best idea to satisfy Bang Christopher Chan!

[sundaysundaes]

Make a Wish

Lee Donghyuck/Haechan X Reader | Smut, Fluff, Humor | NC-17 | College AU

Summary: It’s your birthday today and instead of giving you a box of gift, your boyfriend, Lee Donghyuck, decides to grant five of your wishes. You can’t help but feel a smirk creeping up your face. It’s time to get a little… creative.

This can be read as a stand alone but if you want to read it in order, you can start with Before Our Story Began and Jealousy. 

You were having a dream. A really nice dream about your boyfriend, Lee Donghyuck, where for once in his twenty-years of living, he promised himself not to whine about anything ever again for the rest of his life. He was situated in difficult positions—got an F for the papers that he’d worked on for days, overcooked his eggs until they tasted like a pile of ashes in his mouth during breakfast, or lost a battle because Jaemin was too distracted with Jeno’s dick rubbing against his ass during the game. And even then, he did not form any complaint or whine with his head thrown back like how he usually would’ve done. It was a pleasant dream, seeing him all mature like that.

But then you woke up to the sound of that boyfriend of yours, screaming—literally screaming—directly to your ear, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY GIRL,” as if it wasn’t the middle of the night where he could wake up the whole dorm.

So now, you’re glowering at him with bleary eyes, wiping your drool away with the back of your hand. Haechan shows his phone screen, grinning when he sees you noticing with squinted eyes that it’s 00.00 am and the date written underneath it is your birthday.

“Thanks,” you flatly mutter, sinking your face back into the pillow and pulling the blanket over your head. “I’ll see you in the morning. Night, Haechannie.”

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” Your boyfriend is loud, too loud. You understand that Jaemin is having a sleepover at Jeno’s place so Haechan has the entire room for himself but that does not give him the right to scream right next to your ear like this. Especially when you’re this sleepy with nothing but exhaustion pumping through your veins.

“Noona~” He shakes you by the shoulder, peeling the blanket off your body and succeeding, even when you’ve tried your best to keep it tangled around you. “Come on, it’s your birthday. We have to celebrate!”

“We’ll celebrate when the sun is out. Like normal people.”

“No way, come on! You can sleep some other time!”

“You can be annoying some other time.”

He huffs loudly, puffing out his cheeks. “If you don’t get up, I’ll do things to you.”

You sigh. You know what kind of things he’s referring to and as much as you love it, you’re really drained from the part-time job you did earlier today. It’s true that you haven’t had sex with him for more than a week or so and you kind of miss doing those sort of things with him but you’re just so tired that you ended up crashing face-first on his bed earlier this evening the second you arrived in his room. You hadn’t even kissed him properly yet.

“Okay, fine.” You sit up on his bed with your shirt—or rather, his shirt—all wrinkled, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. “What do you want us to do? If it’s sex, you have to wait because I’m dead tired right now.”

“I wanted to give you your present, actually.” But the way he juts out his bottom lip seems like sex was exactly what he had in mind.

“Okay, so where is it?” You ask, considering you don’t really see him carrying a box of gift with a red bow wrapped around it.

“Well, it’s kinda predictable for me to be giving you like an actual present, so I thought hey, maybe I can grant you a wish. Any kind of wish,” he emphasizes, raising that eyebrow of his in the way he knows you like it. “If you know what I mean.”

You ignore him completely, though the sight of his sexy smirk still leaves you unfocused for a good few seconds. “Only one? On my birthday? Do you even want to do this or are you just making an excuse for not buying me a present?”

“Yah!” He scrunches his nose, playfully jabbing a finger to your stomach. “I don’t see you granting me any wishes on my birthday!”

“You wanted to come inside me and I allowed you to do just that. Twice. Stop being so ungrateful.”

That wipes the playful angry look off his face almost instantly. “You’re right, fine,” he concedes, looking at you with a disinterested look in his eyes. “How many wishes do you want then?”

“I don’t know, like, fifty?”

“The hell? Do I look like Santa to you?”

“If you keep eating those samgyeopsal past midnight, your belly will.”

“Stop body-shaming me, you little—“ He suddenly leaps over, attacking you with tickles to the sides of your stomach until you fall back to the bed with his bare chest hovering over your body. You retaliate by moving your legs around, trying to kick him away but failing every time. You can barely hold back your laughter. He only stops when your face grows scarlet and your chest heaving up and down, slightly out of breath. “I’ll give you three wishes,” he offers, a bit breathless as well. “Only because you look so irresistible right now with those lips of yours.”

“Make it ten, then.” You play with his necklace, twisting it around your finger. Your other hand draws a line on his golden skin, starting from the column of his neck down to his chest. “And I’ll be even more irresistible.”

“Hmm, tempting.” His lips slowly breaking into a sultry smile. “But no. I’ll give you three and that’s final.”

“If you give me five,” you say, hooking a finger around his silver necklace this time so you can bring his face down to yours and whisper in his ear, “I’ll let you cum in my mouth later today.”

His entire face beams up almost like a kid on his first school trip. “You get yourself a deal, sister!”

You smile, caressing his cheek softly with your fingers. His gaze softens, leaning against your touch like how a kitten would. “Well then, here’s my first wish,” you speak softly as if you’re telling a secret. Your lips are just a few inches away from his, and he licks his lower lip in anticipation. “No doing sexual activities whatsoever with me on my birthday.”

That sensual, excited look he has on his face earlier? Gone, being immediately replaced by sheer horror. “What?!” He shrieks when his realization sinks in. “BUT YOU SAID YOU’D LET ME CUM IN YOUR MOUTH LATER TODAY!”

You grin at him, almost cackling out loud. “It’s not fun being on the other side of a prank, is it now, Haechannie?”

“You’re so—” But even the infamous Lee Haechan can be at loss for words. “Not even a kiss?”

“Not even a hug,” you clarify, pushing his body away with both hands so he ends up sitting on his heels, only in his boxer. “I’ll allow you to hold my hands but that’s it.”

“But why?” The way he whines the word ‘why’, loud and long, is just so him. “Hugging is like a totally normal thing to do! People hug all the time! Even kids do! It doesn’t have to be sexual.”

“It becomes sexual when you keep popping out a boner during one.”

“Screw you.”

“Not today, Haechannie. Not today.”

***

Haechan, no matter how bratty he can act from time-to-time, does keep his promise intact. He hasn’t touched you for like eight hours by now, even when you were taking a shower inside his room and ‘accidentally’ leaving the bathroom door open. You heard him groan, “Seriously? You’re doing this to me now? You’re torturing me, Nooonaaaaa~” once during your shower, but he didn’t act on his desire. You’re actually quite surprised. You know just how much this is driving him crazy.

“Let’s get some breakfast,” you say, already looking all dolled up in the red dress he once bought for you. You know how much he likes it, know how much his eyes ogle your body from top-to-toe, staring at the way the fabric hugs your body perfectly, emphasizing your every curve.

He glares at you menacingly. “You’re doing this on purpose.”

“Doing what?” You play dumb, though you're sure your grin betrays you. “Come on, I’m starving. I’ll let you hold my hand as we walk, just make sure don't get a hard-on in the meantime.”

“Have I told you I hate you today?”

“And I love you too, Haechannie.”

The cafe near the dormitory you usually visit to get your daily intake of calories is closed for the day. “Why are they closed?” You ask, adjoining your eyebrows together in confusion.

“Maybe the old man has diarrhea or something.” He shrugs, hands buried deep inside the pocket of his black ripped jeans. The way they tightly hug his legs, combined with those holes, is becoming very distracting for you. “I sure as hell, hope so.”

“Will you let it go already? It was an honest mistake.”

“How on earth is putting wasabi in my cream soup an honest mistake? He totally did that on purpose!”

“Yeah, well, knowing how you just straight-up told him he looked like a walrus, I’m not even surprised he spiked your soup.”

“Now that’s an honest mistake, in which I tried to be honest but came out as a mistake.”

“You didn’t have to tell him he looked like a walrus, though.”

“But he did!” He groaned, stomping his feet on the ground. “He totally did! Look me in the eyes and tell me he didn’t look like a walrus, come on, I dare you.”

You roll your eyes. He’s always one for the dramatic. “Should we go somewhere else? How hungry are you right now?”

“For your love?” He smirked, sending you a flirty wink. “Starving.”

You make an exaggerated gesture of you vomiting your insides. “If you’re not that hungry, wanna just go grab some crepes and take a walk in the park?”

“Sure, why not.” His shoulders are relaxed as he yawns unattractively, though it still counts as adorable in your book. “Let’s drop by to that bakery you told me before on the way home. I’m gonna buy you a birthday cake.”

That earns a surprised smile from you. “I didn’t think you’d be this thoughtful.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m always thoughtful.”

“Is calling a middle-aged man a walrus a form of your thoughtfulness?”

He snorts, tilting his head to the side with his tongue poking the inside of his cheek. “Since when did you get this sassy?” You’re about to put another retort when he suddenly kisses your cheek.

“Hey!” You abruptly step away from him, palming the side of your face. “What did I tell you about my wish again?”

He grins, eyes turning into a cute pair of crescents. “Honest mistake, babe.”

And you poke him in the abs until he drops to his knees, whining, “Whyyyyyyyy?” into the air.

There’s this park near your campus that has nice scenery—unexpectedly picturesque, even—with a huge fountain in the center of it. The green leaves of the camphor trees sway from the morning breeze, intoxicating you with a scent similar to how the pine trees smell after the rain. Children are running around, playing tags, with their parents sitting next to the fountain, busying themselves with their phones while occasionally mutters, “Be careful, don’t run too much!” from time-to-time because apparently, that’s what parents do these days.

Haechan exhales loudly as he takes a seat on the nearest bench, straightening his legs and patting a spot beside him. “Come here. I want to cuddle.”

“There are people around.”

“Since when cuddling becomes a crime?”

“It makes people uncomfortable.”

“You saying no makes me uncomfortable.”

You sigh. There’s no way of winning an argument with him. “Fine, but I’m not sitting on your lap,” you say, ignoring his pout as you take a seat next to him and hand him his chocolate-banana crepes. “Careful, you’re wearing a white shirt,” you warn, offering him his spoon. “It’ll be hard to take the stain off if—”

“I’m not a child,” he grumbles, taking the food roughly off your hand and grimacing when the chocolate syrup drips down to his shirt, staining the fabric. He blinks in surprise with his mouth wide open, before he looks back at you, only to receive a flat stare in return.

“I literally just told you that a second ago.”

Haechan shrugs. “It’s Jaemin’s shirt anyway, so I don’t care.”

With that, you bring your focus back to the food in your hand—a strawberry crepes with a scoop of vanilla ice cream—and takes a bite, almost moaning in delight when the sugary taste hits your tongue. “Man, why did I ever decide to go on a diet? This tastes so gooooood~”

Your smile and small giggle seem to be contagious because Haechan mirrors you almost in the same way though it has nothing to do with the dessert he’s holding. He observes, silently taking notes of the joyful expressions you display on your face while muttering, “How cute,” under his breath. Both of you take a moment to enjoy your so-called breakfast, sometimes taking a sip of your hot coffee to balance the sweet.

“You know,” Haechan says as he gnaws at his dessert again. “This isn’t really how I expected to go when I said I’d grant your wishes.”

“Yeah?” You decide to humor him, though you already know what he’s thinking. “Did you expect me to wish for something else?”

He nods, licking chocolate syrup off his spoon. “Something about you sitting on my face.”

You choke on a piece of strawberry you just plopped into your mouth, and you can feel it blocking your airways. “What are you—” Tears begin to form in the corner of your eyes, as you begin to cough fervently.

“What are you, a kid?” Haechan pulls your hair away from your face, patting your back. “There, there.”

“Why on earth would I ask about that?!” You shout when you can properly breathe again.

“I don’t know, I just thought that maybe you wanted me to eat you out.” The way he shrugs so nonchalantly as if he’s simply talking about finding a typo in the papers he just submitted leaves you dumbfounded. “I mean, I kept teasing you about it during sex but never really did it since you were always too stubborn to beg.”

“And do you realize now how annoying you are in bed?”

“That’s not my intention, though!” He genuinely seems a bit guilty. “You just look so cute trying to hold back when it’s obvious you want my tongue inside you—”

“We’re in public, Jesus Christ—”

“It’s your pride that we have a problem with. Why can’t you just for once say, with teary eyes, ‘Haechannie, please, fuck me with your tongue’—”

“People can hear—stop it!” You try to clamp your palm around his mouth, but he dodges it perfectly and places a playful kiss on the back of your hand instead. “And are you seriously begging me to beg you for it? I don’t think that’s how it works, Hyuck.”

“It’s because I actually really want to eat you out,” he groans, sighing into the air, “But I also want to see that cute embarrassed look on your face—do you see how big of a problem this is for me?” His whine falls short when he notices the look on your face. “Wait, are you blushing?”

“I’m not!” But you know you are, you’ve never been so ashamed before. How can you not? Your boyfriend is now a) talking about eating you out, loudly, in public, b) there’s this one passerby, a middle-aged woman who dresses in way too many layers for a day as hot as this, looking at you with the most disgusted look you’ve ever seen displayed on a person’s face, and c) Haechan is still talking about it. “Shut up and just get away from me!”

“Noona, your face is so red!” He’s giggling to himself now, his crepes dribbling more chocolate syrup onto his shirt from how much he’s moving. “Did I get you excited? Does this mean you’re gonna—”

“Next wish! I’ve already thought about my next wish!” You quickly avert his attention, desperately pushing his face with one hand so he’ll stop making kissy faces at you. “I want you to perform a song.”

“What, here?”

“Yeah, you don’t have a problem singing in front of people, right?”

“Of course not,” he snorts loudly. “I have an amazing voice. You know, people should really be paying me to hear me sing, actually.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes, though deep down in your heart, you kind of admit that he really does have an amazing voice. His vocal is unique and distinct, easily noticeable even if there are a hundred vocalists in the room. And the way he does his adlibs whenever he sings his favorite tunes actually makes the song sounds a thousand times better. There’s no way you’re going to tell that to his face, though. His ego is already big enough without you feeding him compliments.

“Well then, you’re in luck.” You grin mischievously, nodding your head toward a band that’s been playing acoustic songs near the fountain for quite some time. There are three people playing instruments, with one of them being the vocalist and you comment inwardly in your head that Haechan sounds so much better than him—but maybe you’re just biased. The band is promoting their demo album, trying to get people’s attention to recognize their self-composed songs and buy their album if they fit their taste. No crowds  are gathering in front of them, and you feel kind of sorry because they actually sound pretty good. “If you follow my wish and do it right, you could probably get some tips along the way.”

“You want me to sing with the band? I don’t think they’ll allow me though.”

“They will. I’ll buy their album in exchange.”

Haechan doesn’t seem eager at the slightest. “Must we waste our money away?”

“What, are you scared?” You taunt, raising one of your eyebrows challengingly because you know how much he hates to lose. And it works as expected, because Haechan is now standing up, throwing the rest of his crepes away to the nearest trash bin, and cracks his knuckles.

“Lee Haechan never runs away from a challenge.” He has this annoying cocky grin displayed on his face. “Tell me what song you want me to sing.”

“Your favorite. Man in The Mirror.”

“Dude, I nailed that song. Is this even a challenge?” He clicks his tongue, cocking his head. “So easy.”

He already has taken a few steps away, heading toward the band, when you stop him dead on his tracks by saying, “I know you nailed it. That’s why we have to keep it interesting so here’s my wish: I want you to sing out of tune.”

Even if you said that he was turning on his heels at the speed of light, it wouldn’t be too much of an exaggeration. “NO FUCKING WAY.”

“Ah, but sadly,” you fake a pout, mocking him, “You promised you’d grant my wish.”

“But that’s just stupid! Why would I do something like that? Why would anyone do something like that?” He shakes his head furiously. “And doing this to my favorite singer?! Hell no!”

“Haechannie.”

“No.”

“Haechannie.”

“NO.”

You sigh, walking closer to him and pull him down by the hand to close the gap between your heights and murmur in his ear. “If you do that,” you breathe out, trying your best to sound as sexy as you can, “I might consider buying that customized dildo you want this weekend.”

Haechan has his jaw hanging low on his face, looking at you with his wide eyes shaking in disbelief. “Oh my God,” he whines, placing both hands on your shoulders before rocking you back and forth. “Noonaaaaa~ This is soooo not fair. You can’t do this to me!”

You chuckle at how childish he is. “So, how is it going to be, Lee Donghyuck-sshi?”

He contemplates hard about it—really hard, probably the hardest thinking he ever did in his entire life—nibbling on his lower lip as he does it. After a moment has passed, he finally ends it with his signature pout. “But you promise, right? No pranking me this time?”

“I promise,” you say with a firm nod but you have your fingers crossed behind your back.

“Fine,” he says as if it was the heaviest decision he has ever made. “Then, I’ll sing… off-key—eww!” He sticks out his tongue, clutching his arms around his stomach. “I’m about to throw up my crepes just by thinking about it.”

“Good luck.” You pat his shoulder. “Oh, and make sure you sing the first part like you always do, so people will notice and start listening to how amazing your voice is. And when they’re so into it, as you get to the second chorus, that’s when you start singing off-key.”

Haechan’s eyes are lifeless when they bore into you. “Isn’t it time for you to go back to hell, Satan?”

“Remember, Haechannie,” you press a finger to your lips, winking at him. “Customized. Dildo.”

“I hate you.”

“And I love you too.”

So both of you get into the business. After the band performed an acoustic version of their titled song, you approach them with a smile, offering your hand to the vocalist. You tell them how talented they are, making sure to bedazzle them with compliments and your charming attitudes so things can go as planned. It’s actually not that hard trying to convince them to accompany your boyfriend sing, especially when you say you’re going to buy two of their demo albums.

“What song do you want to sing, dude?” The vocalist, a friendly man most likely in his twenties with a goatee on his face, asks Haechan while offering a fist bump. Your boyfriend grimaces, bumping his fist against him like it’s the most disgusting thing he’s ever done.

“Something wrong?” The man asks. “You look kinda pale, man.”

“He just ate something bad during breakfast earlier,” you come to answer him instead, rubbing Haechan’s back soothingly. “But he’s fine now. Can you guys play Man in The Mirror?”

“Michael Jackson, right? Sure thing.”

You elbow your boyfriend playfully on the side of his stomach. “Sure thing, he said.”

“I want to die.”

“Aaw, poor baby,” you pucker your lips, having the best time of your life making fun of him. “Now off you go, I’ll be right here.” And you bring your iPhone in the air, camera-ready with a tap of your thumb. Haechan has his eyes on the standing microphone, looking at it like it’s the most horrifying thing he’s ever witnessed in his life.

Haechan just barely takes a step forward before he runs back to your spot again, all jumpy and twitchy. “I can’t—I can’t do this—this is so embarrassing—”

“On three, okay, man?” The vocalist takes a seat on one of the little stools they have placed next to the amplifiers with his Fender guitar placed firmly on his lap. And before Haechan can give him a nod or any sign in return, he begins counting and the entire band plays the song. There’s no way out of this now.

Haechan finally walks toward the mic with his soul most likely leaving his body with every step he takes.

You give him a cheer as loud as you can—not to support him, but so you can gather people’s attention. Haechan shushes you down in panic before he finally takes the mic, constantly throwing ice daggers at you with his eyes. You begin to chant his name—“Lee Donghyuck! Lee Donghyuck!”—and with every shout of it, Haechan dies a little bit more.

Haechan falls two beats behind before he finally sings into the microphone, his voice resonating through the air. He does sound amazing, albeit a little nervous and that’s probably just because he’s doing the dare. He usually sounds confident, his voice sounding strong and clear not caring if the room is empty or filled with people so this anxious version of him really makes you think that maybe you’ve forced him a little bit too far.

He completes the first part of the song rather easily and the entire band behind him nod their heads along to the music, amazement sparkling in their eyes. You can see the vocalist quietly mouths, “Damn, he’s good,” to the member sitting beside him who shortly agrees wholeheartedly. You can’t help but smile at that, looking like a proud mom.

People, one-by-one, begin to gather around you, whispering to one another, asking, “Who is he? What band is this?” or simply praising his vocal and your smile grows wider. It vanishes almost instantly, though, the second you hear some girls chattering behind your back, talking about how attractive Haechan looks—especially in that leather jacket and those dark combat boots he’s wearing. You never pegged yourself to be a jealous, overprotective girlfriend before but with Haechan, perhaps you’re beginning to turn exactly into that.

Haechan, who seems pretty pleased with how he sang the first part, suddenly begins to fidget on his feet. The more he gets closer to the second chorus, the paler he becomes and he has his eyes tightly shut when he’s finally there, singing the first two lines in the right way before forcing himself to sing off-key.

You blurt out laughing but immediately clasp a hand over your mouth. Haechan looks like he’s in pain, and the rest of the band has their eyebrows furrowed in question, looking back and forth at each other, probably asking, what the hell is wrong with this dude, he was doing so good before. The audience begins to look at one another, eyebrows knitting in concern. New visitors stop in their tracks, looking at your boyfriend with judging looks on their faces. Even the parents that were so busy with their phones before begin to lift their heads from the screen, trying to know who is this terrible singer and why is he wailing like this.

Haechan sounds so awful and you can only imagine how much this is killing him from the inside. He barely gets to the end of the second chorus before he turns to face the band, bowing his head and shouting, “I’m so sorry!” before he scrambles on his feet, running toward you.

“Wait, Hyuck, you haven’t finished—” Your protest ends in laughter when Haechan rashly hooks an arm around your shoulder, breaking through the crowd and forcing you to match his steps so you can leave the park for good.

He’s never stepping into this place ever again, you’re sure of it.

***

On the way back to the dorm, you stop by the bakery you’ve been wanting to visit and Haechan buys you a birthday cake as promised but with a permanent pout displayed on his place.

“A cake for your girlfriend?” The cashier lady asks with a friendly smile.

Haechan simply pouts harder, muttering, “Yes, my super annoying girlfriend.” And you pop out from behind his back, raising a hand in the air as you beam at her with a cheeky grin, “Yep, that’s me!”

Haechan walks next to you on the sidewalk as if he just did the longest marathon he ever did in his life—all drained out and slow on his steps. His shoulders are hunched forward, his eyes droopy and every time you take a peek and share a glance at him, he’ll start fuming again—like an angry child, upset for being left alone in his grandma’s house while the whole family went on a trip.

“Okay, knowing how fast you’re walking right now,” you mutter sarcastically, looking at the nonexistent watch you wear around your wrist for dramatic effects, “We’ll be back in our dorm at approximately eighty-four years from now.”

“Whatever. I’m still angry at you.”

“But we just started! I thought you wanted to make me happy.” You try to look as sad as possible, batting your eyelashes at him. “It’s my birthday, you know.”

“I wasn’t aware that making you happy equals giving me emotional distress.” After two seconds passed by in silence, he adds, “And physical pain.”

You smile at the attitude he’s giving, wondering just how cute can this man be by the end of the day. Maybe you should keep torturing him a little.

Just a little bit more.

“Haechannie,” you roll his name off your tongue in a playful manner, wrapping both arms around his right one. “I’m ready for my next wish.”

“Didn’t you listen to any word I just said?”

“See that old lady over there?”

“Yeah, you clearly didn’t.” Haechan follows your gaze with a heavy sigh, not quite pleased with how easily you ignore his complaints, and he sees a grey-haired woman, old enough to be his grandmother, sitting alone on a bench with a book on her hands and her glasses hanging dangerously low on the bridge of her nose. Her cane lays still on her side, and by the look of it, she appears to be waiting for someone.

“Oh come on, leave her alone,” Haechan says, already looking sorry for her even when you haven’t said anything yet. “She’s so old and she looks so frail. I am not going to do your stupid dare at the cost of her life.”

You roll your eyes.“Relax, I won’t ask something that stupid.”

“Oh, because your first wish was just so brilliant, I suppose?”

“I’m serious, I’m not that mean.” Not to her, at least. “I just want you to sit next to her on the bench and act like it’s the worst day of your life.”

“I won’t be calling that acting,” he grumbles. “I am having the worst day of my life.”

“What? I thought we’re having fun!” You try so hard to look sympathetic enough for him but it’s almost an impossible deed to do when you’re seconds away from laughing.

“You’re having fun.” He squints his eyes menacingly. “I’m having a fucking seizure.”

“You’re fine, don’t be too dramatic.” You card your fingers through his hair, pushing back the bangs from his eyes to showcase his temple exactly the way you like it. “Well, I want you to act sad—like, really sad, bawling your eyes out and everything—and when she asks you why, explain that you just found out you’re adopted.” You press something against his palm. “Here.”

Haechan has his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he takes a look at it. “What’s this?”

“A postcard with a picture of your parents. I just bought it at the minimart before when you were in the bakery.”

“But…” He stares in horror. “They’re Americans.”

“Exactly.” You know there’s a shit-eating grin blooming on your face but you cannot wipe it off. “You can walk away after she tries to comfort you or give you some advice or something.”

Haechan keeps scowling at you as if he wanted to eat you alive, but you charm him with your brightest smile until he sighs and tucks the postcard in the back pocket of his jeans. “You know I’ll pay you back for this later, right?”

“Wha—I thought you said you’ll grant me any wishes for free!”

“MAN, IF I COULD JUST TURN BACK TIME—“ He yanks out his hair, making you a bit worried because you love his soft, adorable brown locks and he’s been tugging at them for quite some time today. “Okay, fine, I’ll do it. I no longer have any shame left in my body anyway. Or soul, for that matter.” He turns on his heels, straightening his jacket as if that could give him more courage. “You better not blink your eyes.”

“It’s okay even if I do.” You bring out your phone, waving it in the air. “’Cause I’m recording it. This will go viral on Youtube.”

“I hate you.”

“And I love you too, Haechannie.”

It takes a good ten minutes for Haechan to prepare himself for the stupid dare he’s about to do, even though he previously claimed he had no shame whatsoever. He paces back-and-forth at the sidewalk, stomping his feet once or twice restlessly, and mutters quietly to himself, “Man up. Man up, you idiot. It’s just a stupid dare.” You desperately want to have a miniature size of this Haechan and keeps him inside your pocket so you can watch him being nervously cute all day long with his cheeks puffed in anger.

“Okay, I’m going.” And he finally steps forward, braver this time, and sits down on the other end of the bench, twiddling his fingers in anxiety. You bite your lip to contain your laughter and press record.

Almost fifteen seconds have passed by and there’s no reaction, not even a glance, coming from the old lady. You can see Haechan nibbling persistently on his lip, his feet tapping worriedly on the ground before he finally lets out the loudest, heaviest sigh in the history of mankind. It’s so loud that it makes the old lady jumps on her seat, her hands going to her chest, her book left abandoned on her lap. Haechan also looks surprised knowing that she’s surprised and everything just looks so hilarious that your camera begins to shake from how hard you try not to laugh.

“I-is there something wrong, my dear?” The old lady asks, shifting her body a little on her seat so she can face him properly.

Haechan takes a deep breath and begins his act by burying his face in his hands, faking a sob. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it. I just—” He sniffles loudly, trying to make it obvious to her that he’s in agony. “It’s the worst day of my life.”

And it’s cheesy, how he acts, but she seems to buy it—or maybe she’s just too kind. “May I ask what happened? I’m not sure I can help but…” She lands her shaky hand on his back, caressing him soothingly. “It’s always better to pour your feelings out instead of bottling them inside.”

She sounds so genuinely compassionate, unlike the maniacal laughter that currently tumbles down your lips.

Haechan lifts his head, turning towards her. His eyes begin to droop, making him look like a kicked puppy. “I just found out…” He sniffs for dramatic effects. “That… That I’m adopted!” And he loudly whimpers into his hands again.

The old lady gasps, covering her parted lips with her thin fingers. “Oh my… Did your parents tell you that?”

“No, it’s even worse. I found out on my own when they were talking in their room.” Haechan rummages his back pocket, handing her the postcard. “Here, look. It’s a picture of my parents.”

The lady takes the postcard with a pair of heartbroken eyes but they soon begin to change when she notices that the two people in the picture are straight-up Americans, while Haechan, needless to say at this point, looks like the most common—though far more handsome—Korean boy you can encounter on daily basis.

“I know,” Haechan says, wiping a nonexistent tear out of his eyes and fakes another sob. “Surprising, isn’t it? I mean, we look so much alike, there’s no way I would’ve guessed I was adopted if I didn’t hear them talking about it behind my back.”

The old lady is still pretty much dumbstruck with how bizarrely stupid everything is, but she’s too kind to call him out on it. She hands the postcard back to him, looking much less sorry this time, and takes a moment of silence. Haechan cries against his palms again, and you wonder if he’s only faking it or being real about it this time because the entire situation is just painfully awkward.

“You see, my dear,” she begins, voice gentle and reassuring but the sincerity isn’t really the same as before. “Sometimes it really can feel like the world is ending, and I know that this must be hard for you,” she stops to knit her eyebrows, “no matter how obvious this should’ve appeared to you. But maybe it’s not about having a picture-perfect family, but about finding beautiful moments.”

“You’re right,” Haechan hurriedly agrees, his eyes twinkling in delight knowing that this excruciating dare is about to end. “I’m happy with them being my family, even if they’re not, you know, really my parents.”

She smiles but it kind of looks like a grimace, and she says her next words with a gentle pat on his back. “But shouldn’t you have noticed about it sooner, though, dear? You look nothing like them.”

And Haechan winces, not sure how to react. “I could be, uhh…” He licks his lips nervously. “Quite dumb, sometimes.”

“Yes,” she nods, still patting his back. “You certainly can.”

A tall man, at least ten years older than Haechan, approaches their spot with a paper bag in his arms. “Mom, are you ready to—” he stops to take a look at your boyfriend, trying to understand the situation of why is his mother sitting way too close to a guy dressed flirtatiously in a leather jacket and boots with her hand caressing his back. “What are you guys doing?”

“Oh, it’s okay. I’m adopted,” Haechan says, handing him the same stupid picture. “She’s just consoling me about it.”

He takes a look and sends him his biggest judging look. “Dude, what are you, stupid?”

***

Haechan is still fuming all the way back to his dorm and no matter how much you apologize about it, he still doesn’t want to talk to you. He throws himself on his bed with his shoes still on the second he enters his room. You’re still smiling quietly to yourself, can barely handle all the cuteness he’s emitting.

“Haechannie,” you gently call, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Are you still upset?”

No answer.

“Look, I said, I’m sorry. Talk to me, please?”

Haechan has his face pressed flat against his comforter and you secretly wonder whether he can even breathe in that position. A few seconds passed by in silence before Haechan finally mumbles, “Did it make you happy?”

“What, you doing my stupid dares?” You can already feel another laughter bubbling up your throat but you have to contain it. You can’t hurt him more than this. “Yes and I know I’ve been mean to you and I’m sorry for that, but you were so cute.” You run a hand along his spine before you carefully caress his hair as a mother would do to a child. “Please don’t be mad.”

He eventually sits up, crossing his legs on the bed, sniffling a little bit while still avoiding eye contact. “Well, I guess, as long as you’re happy.”

“Are you crying?”

“No,” he states, practically puffing out his cheeks by now. “I’m just so embarrassed with all of this. Why are you being so mean to me?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, come here.” You motion him to come closer, and you know it’s breaking the rules of your first wish but you don’t care. This giant teddy bear desperately needs a hug.

Haechan immediately sighs when you stand with your knees pressed on the bed, wrapping both arms around his head. He sinks his face to the crook of your neck, lowly murmuring, “I hate you,” with his breath fanning your skin.

“You’ve been saying that a lot.”

“Yeah, because you’re mean.”

“But I love you even more today,” you softly reply, pulling away a little so you can trace your fingers along the smoothness of his cheek. “You’re so adorable, Hyuck, do you know that?”

“Is singing out of tune and harassing old lady your kink or something?”

“That’s not it.” You pinch the bridge of his nose, making him yelp a little. “It’s just the way you forced yourself to do these things—these things you hate the most—for me and asking me whether they made me happy or not, while still being all grumpy about it. You’re just so cute and I love you for that.”

The sun is setting outside his window, illuminating his face with such a warm, beautiful glow that somehow makes him appear a bit more melancholic and angelic at the same time. He finally drags his eyes back on yours, with his bottom lip still jutting out slightly. He says the next four words so quietly under his breath that you can barely hear them. “What?”

“I said, I love you too,” he repeats in a rush, before he sinks his face in the slope of your neck again, whining all the way. “Don’t make me say it like this, it’s weird.”

And you notice that this is actually the first time he truly confesses his love for you. He’s joked about it a lot, toying with your feelings at least ten times within a day, casually throwing the word love as if it meant nothing more than mere decoration for his flirtatious lines. But now that he’s saying it in all the seriousness he can muster, he can barely look you in the eyes, can barely say it without whispering, and it’s cute how the usually confident Lee Haechan, crumbles into nothing but a shy little boy facing his feelings for the first time.

“Ah seriously,” he murmurs against your hair. “What are you doing to me? I’m not usually like this.”

You can’t help but tease him. “Yes, you’re usually more satanic.”

“Yah—”

And you stop him with a soft kiss to his lips. You can feel him taking a sharp breath, his arms stiffening as they circle your waist. You’re about to kiss him again when you feel him tensing against your body. Noticing how he looks a bit baffled, you carefully tug yourself away. “What is it?”

“I thought you said we couldn’t kiss today,” he tells in such a small voice.

“I said no sexual activities,” you retort with a sly smirk, making a poor excuse because you really miss kissing him. “This isn’t sexual,” you say, pressing your lips against his again but stop before he can return it. “This is romantic.”

He’s so distracted with your lips that he can barely take his eyes off them even when he talks. “You’re teasing me again, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” You can’t help but grin but it does not stay long when Haechan suddenly hooks his arm around your hip and pulls you closer until you’re forced to climb into his lap, wrapping your legs around his waist for balance.

“Haechan—” Your protest is swallowed by his kiss, his lips chasing after yours almost frantically. You can tell how much he misses you from the way his lips move against yours, or from the way he moans softly at the back of his throat as he settles his hand on the side of your face. His other hand holds you tighter by the waist, his fingers fisting the fabric of your dress. He angles your head to the side, kissing you with parted lips and swiping his tongue along your lower one so you’ll gain him entrance.

“Noona,” he whispers between quick breaths, sounding almost needy. “Noona, I need—”

“Okay, stop.” You place your arms on his shoulders, expanding the space between you. You can’t believe you almost got carried away. “Now this is getting sexual. Let’s head over to my next wish.”

“Wait—but I’m—” He stares at you bewilderedly, not believing the fact that you just casually drag your body away from his lap, smoothen down your hair as if nothing just happened. “Are you serious? You’re playing with me again? When I’m like this?”

“Sorry.” You peck him on the cheek, hiding your grin. “So, for my next wish—”

“Yah! Listen to what I’m saying—”

“I want you to—”

“Noonaaaaaaaa~”

“—sing me a lullaby.” His whining stops abruptly at your words and you quickly explain further before he does it again, “I’m sleepy so I’m gonna take a nap. Your job is to sing me a lullaby until I fall asleep. Easy, right?”

“You really just do whatever you want, don’t you?”

“Only for today. You, on the other hand, do that every day.”

“Fair enough. Do I get to choose the song?”

“Sure.” Knocking your high heels off your feet, you lie down on his bed with a thump, contentedly basking in his scent because his pillows, the duvet underneath you, the soft sheet below your fingertips—everything smells pleasantly like him. Haechan takes off his shoes and his leather jacket—which almost earns a loud protest from you because he looks so good with that jacket on—throwing them somewhere near the bed without care and he lies down by your side, facing you.

You turn your body to face him as well. “Hey, handsome.” You smile sheepishly at him.

He seems a bit caught off guard by it, but smiles back. “Hi.”

“Can we cuddle?”

He laughs softly at that. “Come here.” He gathers your entire figure easily in his arms and you sink your nose to his chest, humming in pleasure. “Stop being so cute, you’re torturing me.” You only giggle in response.

Haechan begins to sing, slowly at first as if he suddenly feels pressured with the way the room is so deep in silence, leaving no excuse for him to make in case he fails. You notice that, so you sneak both of your arms around his waist, snuggling even closer. “Don’t be nervous, it’s only me.”

“I’m not. Why would I be?” He masks his slightly shaky voice with a chuckle. “It’s just that your hair keeps getting into my mouth whenever I try to sing.”

“Of course.” And you keep your lips tightly shut, giving him the time he needs.

Haechan takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “Had a perfect picture in my head, with you in the most beautiful dress,” he sings, beautiful notes flowing down from his lips, making you feel like everything around you becomes a blur and there’s only him with his velvety voice and his soft, warm breathing. “I look happy as ever, how did I let you go again.”

He gains confidence with more seconds passing by and you can feel his arms growing slack around your waist, no longer as tense. “Now I'm standing alone in the rain, like the kinda movie that we used to hate. Wish I could take back the time, but I know this time it's real.”

You’re not sure whether it’s because of the lyrics or the way he sings, but as beautiful as his honeyed voice sounds, you can’t help but feel a tinge of sadness growing inside you. It’s as if he’s not singing the song, he’s living through it. And you wonder maybe he’s had his heart broken by someone before—or maybe he’s just so good at putting emotions to his song, you’re still not sure yet.

“Hate that I'm singing this song. Hate that I have to be strong.” Haechan absentmindedly runs his fingers up and down your spine, before he tangles them around the strands of your hair, gently stroking them. “Hate that you're gone. I hate all my flaws. Hate that you love someone else. Hate everything. Just hate everything right now.”

It’s so genuine and soft the way he serenades you, baring his soul and you’re not even looking at his eyes as he sings it. By the end of it, you can’t help but ask him a question. “Will you be singing that song if you ever break up with me?”

He curls up closer, burying the tip of his nose in your hair. “No,” he says but continues before your disappointment can sink in, “If we ever break up, I won’t be doing anything besides getting you back. I don’t like to lose, you know how I am. And I definitely don’t want to lose something—or rather, someone—this important to me.”

“Stop flirting with me,” you chime in, pulling away a little so you can take a look at his face. “You already have me wrapped around your fingers.”

But Haechan doesn’t smile or act cocky about it. He just takes his time analyzing your face, taking in your features as he trails his fingers down from your hair, to your cheek, and finally stopping at the curve of your lips. “I was so worried before though when you met your ex behind my back. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just…” He loses his words when you begin to kiss his fingertips, his eyes becoming unfocused. “I don’t know, I just got anxious about it. I’ve never had someone like you before so…”

It really just sinks in that he wasn’t merely angry because you were seeing your ex-boyfriend again, he was just afraid. He was terrified of losing you but didn’t know how to react properly. He keeps on telling that you belong to him, that he owns you and everything but he doesn’t intend to dominate you. It’s just a way for him to convince himself that you’re still with him, and not in someone else’s arms.

You can feel your lips curving up into a smile. He’s just a clueless boy, probably still as inexperienced as you are when it comes to love.

You’re sinking more into his arms, sighing as he rakes his fingers down your spine. When silence starts to hang in the air, tension growing thick, Haechan spares you a glance. “Noona?”

You’re not sure what it is inside you that drives you wild but when you’re awake from your reverie, your lips are on his again, melting against his heat, and desperately asking him to deepen the kiss.

The way he inadvertently moans against your lips indicates that your kiss catches him off guard but he soon finds back his pace. He crawls on top of you, pressing your body closer, chest meeting chest, and murmurs your name with his silvery voice against your ear, successfully sending goosebumps to every inch of your body.

“Forget my first wish.” You can barely recognize your own voice from how husky it has become. He has his lips tracing your jawline, about to map his way down but you keep him still, not wanting to erase the warmth of his lips on yours just yet. “It’s a stupid wish anyway. I don’t know why I even asked that.”

Haechan forms a space between you, just to take another look at your face. His eyes are hooded, gleaming with desire. “Well then,” he rubs his thumb along your lower lip, while his tongue traces his own. “Can I kiss you more?”

“Yes.” It sounds more like a plead than affirmation, strongly painted with urgency. “Come here.”

Haechan’s lips are warmer than how they usually felt but you can’t be certain. It’s been a while since you last shared an intimate moment with him and you just now realized that it really isn’t just him who desperately seeks attention. You crave his touch way more than he does for yours.

But maybe that’s not true after all, because Haechan has his eyebrows furrowed as he kisses you passionately, his lips keep searching for yours whenever you try to pull away to catch a breath. The way he sinks his fingers along your hips, how determined he is in keeping you close to the point you can start counting on his eyelashes—everything that he does screams his emotions vividly. How much he longs for you. How much he misses the taste of your breath on his tongue.

“Don’t stop,” you whisper, your fingers pressed against his jaw. “Please…”

Haechan blinks, a bit startled and perhaps a tad confused as well, considering you stopped him from going too far earlier. But he doesn’t complain and takes every chance he can get, if it means he can be closer to you. It’s so soft, the way he kisses you now, as if he’s having his first kiss, not sure if he’s doing it right but you don’t mind. It’s rare, being kissed by him like this, and somehow it makes your skin tingle as if merely just a touch of his lips is sending electricity to your entire body.

“I love you,” you whisper as you share his breath. “I really do love you, Hyuck.”

The way he halts his action for a good two seconds, probably letting your words sink into his head, makes your own heart skip a beat or two. And you’re worried if you say too much, or if you’ve become too needy and it annoys him, but when you sneak a glance at him, you notice how his cheeks are tainted with red before he leans closer, roughly murmuring, “Just kiss me again,” against your lips.

But the way he’s holding your body makes you feel way more loved than the words he said earlier. And he’s taking his time, just gently moves his lips against yours, his tongue slipping in only slightly to steal a taste. But you sigh against his mouth either way because it’s not only his kiss that weakens you, it’s his entire presence—the way his warmth seeps through the fabric of your dress, the way he’s holding back a moan when you unconsciously tug his locks a little bit too hard, or the way he just naturally smells so sweet, almost honey-like, numbing your other senses at once.

“Noona,” he breathes heavily, tilting his head to the side so you’ll have better access to running your lips against the skin of his neck. “I want… I need…” he trails off, too busy looking at the way you’re slipping your fingers underneath his shirt, tracing his hot feverish skin with your cold digits. “I really need you now.”

“Then keep touching me,” you mumble against his jaw, searching for his lips again. “I want to feel you too. Come closer.” But even if your words speak a sense of urgency, your fingers still feel as light as a feather on his skin and he seems to notice that, because he’s keeping up the same pace, not suddenly rushing to tear your clothes apart like how he usually does.

He chants your name over and over again, almost like a prayer, his desire running thick in his veins. As he moves down, his fingers find their way to the zipper of your dress, pulling it down slowly, and he takes his time to kiss every inch of your body that’s revealed to him one by one.

“You don’t know how much I’ve been wanting to do this to you,” he confesses, his nose skimming along the skin of your shoulder. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too.” You arch your back, desperately needing to close the space between you. “I’ve missed you too.”

And you’re half-expecting him to put on a smirk and asks, “Yeah? How much, exactly?” But this time, he doesn’t. His lips are busy marking your skin, sucking gently at the spot that makes you curl your toes. He brings his eyes back to yours again when your lips moan out his name.

“Don’t do that,” he says, looking like he’s gradually losing control of himself. “You know how that drives me crazy.”

“I thought you liked it.”

“I love it, but—” He suddenly presses his lips hard against yours, as if there’s another person inside him that’s been screaming at him to latch his lips with yours before he wastes more second talking nonsense. And you try to reciprocate the movement of his lips with the same speed but he doesn’t give you much room to improvise. He knows what he’s doing, all you need to do is just relax and blend into the kiss. He already makes everything so easy for you. The problem is, he makes you feel like something is pressing against your chest and your stomach is doing crazy flips over and over again.

He finally stops again when you gasp his name.

“Ah, no, seriously.” It’s like he’s fighting a battle within himself, pulling away from you and shaking his head. “I want to take it slow today, Noona, but you moaning my name like that is not making it easy for me so please, just don’t—” He exhales, pressing his temple against yours with his eyes closed. “Don’t torture me like that.”

It’s cute how he tries to hold back, trying to be as gentle as possible. “I’m fine with the way you usually hold me, though.” It’s tempting, and he’s pretty much dazed with the sultry smirk you have on your face, but he shakes his head again, snapping him back from his own thoughts.

“No, it’s your birthday,” he says, eyes switching back and forth from your eyes to your lips as he tries to enunciate his reason. “I want to make it special.”

You raise an eyebrow suspiciously. “So you’re saying that all the sex we did before today wasn’t special to you?”

He gapes. “No, that’s not—”

“Just kidding.” You giggle, pecking his cheek. “Okay, then, do your thing.” You sit up straight so you can undress properly and his eyes are instantly glued to your chest when your bra slips down your shoulders. You don’t really intend to make it sexy, but the way his eyes grow wide when you say “I’m all yours,” and lies down on his bed again in nothing but your laced underwear seems to indicate that that’s exactly how you look in his mind.

He mutters an almost inaudible fuck under his breath before he snaps himself out of his reverie again. He stands with his knees pressed on the bed, pulling his shirt over his head before he hovers back on top of you, peppering wet kisses from your ear to your neck before he ends it with his tongue trailing down the valley of your breasts.

He stops to reach for his drawer, searching for a condom while you struggle to unfasten his belt and unbutton his jeans. You’re finished a few seconds sooner and already have your back pressed against the sheet again when he crawls on top of you with a packet of condom between his teeth.

“No, wait.” You catch him by his arm as he’s about to tear the package with his teeth. “I’m on the pill today too so you can do it without.”

“Well, fuck,” he exhales, latching his lips back to yours again. “Why are you being so nice to me today?”

“You literally just complained about me being mean to you a few minutes ago.”

“Well, now that I get to come inside you again, I’m taking all my words back.” He gives playful kisses on your nose and cheeks before he licks around your face like how a cute little puppy would.

“Stop it, you’re gross!” But your airy laughter soon begins to vanish, only to be replaced with a sense of uncertainty. You begin to feel nervous when he hooks his fingers around the edge of your underwear and pulling it down your legs, baring yourself completely for his eyes. He’s seen you naked countless times and you never really felt this nervous before so it must be because—

“You seem to be thinking about something,” he interrupts, parting your legs so he can slide in between them. “Something wrong?”

“Umm—I—“ It’s not the way you stutter that betrays you; it’s the prominent blush that stains your cheeks. But you have to do this. You have to say this. Not just for your sake, but his too. “Haechannie..?”

“Yeah, Noona?”

“For my next wish…” You wet your lip anxiously, swallowing your breath, your heart nearly leaps out of your chest. “C-can you eat me out, please…?”

It’s the first time you’ve seen him so startled by your action—or by anything, really—to the point that he has to remind himself to blink. “What?”

You groan, hastily grabbing a pillow nearby and use it to cover your face. “Don’t make me say it again, you idiot!” You expect him to laugh, or worse, mock you about it but instead, he snatches the pillow away, throwing it to the side, and wraps his fingers around your wrists, holding you in place.

“Noona, please,” he pleads, his cheeks turning scarlet, mirroring yours. “Please say it again. I want to see you when you say it.”

It’s actually borderline hilarious the way he’s so serious about it, and perhaps it’s really his biggest turn on—one that he hasn’t seen coming from you after all this time—so you decide to swallow your pride and indulge him further.

You repeat your words and watch as his eyes widened again for a split second before they turn gentle, looking so happy that you finally get to answer his wish. “About damn time,” he whispers against your lips, his husky voice reverberating nicely to your ears as he tastes every bit of your mouth with his tongue. He wastes no more time, heading south while placing more wet kisses down your body.

His lips are hovering above your heat, and you can really feel his breath down there. You have your eyes closed in anticipation but Haechan suddenly says, “You know what, let’s do it this way.”

He leaves you hanging and you’re about to be swallowed by shame but he suddenly lies down on the bed, his head almost touching the headboard, and motions you to come closer. “Come here.”

“What?”

“I want you to sit on my face,” he says and you almost choke on your saliva. “Come here, Noona. Please.”

And it stresses you out so much because you’ve never done this before—never even thought about it even—and you figured you just had to lay there and let him do whatever he wants with you. Crawling over to sit on his face is clearly not what you had in mind.

“Come on,” he lightly sneers when he sees how nervous you are. “I won’t bite.”

“Shut up,” you mutter, feeling a little bit lightheaded from how embarrassed you are, but when he offers a hand, you take it and follow his lead.

You have your legs on each side of his head and he’s holding you by your hips, guiding you to lower yourself down to him. “Stop being so tense,” he chuckles and you flinch because he’s so dangerously close. “It’s not like I’ve never seen you up-close before.”

“It’s different—” You gasp when he swipes his tongue against your folds, just once, before he asks, “Different how?”

You’re too occupied with sorting out your feelings and all these sensations that coming into your head at once. “I don’t know, it’s weird—” You almost whine when you feel him moving his tongue again.

“Your thighs are shaking, Noona,” he chuckles, and you clench your teeth, trying to be less conscious of how his hot breath hitting your sensitive spot.

“Please, s-stop talking.”

“I’m trying to make this casual,” he says, his voice sounding less clear as it hits your skin. “If I stop talking, you’re gonna start thinking about things again.”

“I’m not—Haechannie—” You bring your fingers to cover your mouth to stop you from moaning too loud. He’s giving tentative licks around your clit, moving agonizingly slow and you fumble with your hands, not knowing where to place them. Everything feels both terrifyingly good and painfully awkward and you’re trapped between wanting to continue and stop at the same time.

“Here,” Haechan offers, taking one of your hands and guides it down until it finds home in his hair. “Or you can lay your hands against the headboard. But I prefer you do it this way so I’ll know if you’re feeling,” he stops to licks a stripe up your folds, making you shiver, “good, or,” this time, he stops to suck hard on your clit, startling you with the amount of pleasure jolting through your veins that your body begins to tremble. “Extremely good,” he finishes, moving to the side so he can place a kiss on your thigh, letting you feel his teasing smile on your skin.

Your breathing tatters as he continues with his ministrations, now adding one of his fingers inside you to increase the pleasure. Your head hangs low, and you’re not able to tear your eyes away from his face. Seeing him between your thighs, with his eyes closed as if he’s enjoying every second of it, is just the sexiest thing you’ve ever witnessed.

“You seem to be much more relaxed now,” Haechan leans back to show you his godforsaken smirk, “Good girl. Are you starting to regret the fact we didn’t do this sooner?”

And you want to be upset about it—about how he’s still teasing you even during this moment—but the way his breath keeps fanning against your sensitive skin makes you weak. “Please just…” You’re about to sob because it’s too damn embarrassing to be put in this situation. “Stop teasing me, Hyuck…”

Haechan blinks at your expression, his gaze immediately softens. “I’m sorry,” he says, kissing you gently on the inner part of your thigh again. “You’re just so damn cute, I can’t help but tease. Forgive me?”

And you just answer with a small nod because that’s all you can offer before his lips are pressed against your entrance again, tongue slipping inside to know how you really taste. 

“Wait—” You begin to panic from how good and weird it feels. “L-let’s stop for a sec—It’s too much—” The shame, the sensation, the pleasure—they’re all hitting you hard at once and you’re too nervous to function properly.

Haechan sneaks a glance at your face, taking in the way it contorts into several emotions at once. “Baby,” he calls out softly, which sends shivers down to your core. “Don’t be nervous, it’s only me.”

You notice how he’s imitating your words from earlier and that gives you the chance to think about something else. “But… What about you..?” You ask, making eye contact with him and gulping when he raises his eyebrow in question. “I mean, I can’t please you like this.”

“Oh…” He leans his head down to the bed, giving you the space you want but not exactly what you need. “Then… Wanna do it at the same time?”

You nibble at your bottom lip, slowly nodding your head and his eyes gleam excitedly in response.

“Ah, you’re the best, seriously,” he exhales, dreamily looking at you. “All right then, turn around.”

***

It’s two hours before midnight when another idea pops up in your head. “Haechannie,” you call him out, as you click off your phone and turn to him. Hearing him humming in response, you continue. “Call Jaemin and the rest of your cute little boyband.”

By the tone of your voice, he knows he’s going to go through hell again. He groans out loud, head dangling around the edge of his bed. “Why is this day not over yet, I swear to God—”

“Just call them, I’ve got something in mind.”

“Don’t tell me you want me to make-out with them or something.”

“Why, are you interested?”

He grimaces, sticking out his tongue. “I’d rather die.”

“Glad that’s not what I’m asking then.” You climb up to join him on the bed, sitting next to his body with your knee almost touching the side of his head. He shifts around, placing his head on your lap, and stares at you with tired eyes.

“Please don’t be too mean to me this time,” he begs and you snort, can’t believe that the mischievous Lee Donghyuck actually begs you to spare his life.

You card your fingers through his hair and he closes his eyes, relaxing at your touch. It doesn’t last long though, his blissfulness, because on the next second, you say, “I want you to play that online game you always play with them but be terribly bad at it.”

“WHAT—“ He blurts out, sitting upright in such a rush that he almost knocks your heads together. “WHY—HOW COULD YOU—”

“Okay, breathe.”

“But this is too much!” He whines, his eyes widening in horror. “I have a status to uphold! You can’t do this to me!”

“Look, if it matters that much to you, I’ll give you permission to explain the situation to them.” You squeeze his hand, smiling understandingly at him. “You can tell them that you’re doing this because you’re granting my birthday wish.”

That manages to calm him down a little. “So I can let them know before the game? Oh, thank God—”

“No, a month after the game.”

“WHY ARE YOU SO EVIL—”

“Just do it already!” You shout out with a teasing grin strapped to your face. “You owe me at least that much after I let you come in my mouth.”

He gapes, eyes widening in shock. “That was for this?! I feel so tricked!”

“Well, I wasn’t thinking about that before but—” You shake your head, waving the rest of your sentence away. “Come on, Haechannie, please, please, please~” You rub your hands together, batting your eyelashes again.

He grumbles, pushing you away. “Stop doing that aegyo on me, I’m not doing it!”

I’ll grant you five wishes for your birthday!” You can’t believe you’re saying this and you know you’re going to regret it later in the future but there’s still time and you hope he’s gonna forget about it when the time arrives. Hopefully.

Haechanlooks extremely tempted at that. “Any kind of wishes?”

You wince but nod eventually. “As long as it’s nothing sexual.”

“Oh, you’re gonna regret saying that.” His smirk is back and he’s doing it so cockily that it sends shivers down your spine. Well, you can work over that problem later. “Fine, let’s go. Give me the phone.”

Haechan calls Jaemin an asswipe the first second he gets connected but by the sound of his voice coming from the other line, he’s not even bothered in the slightest. “Get off Jeno’s dick for once and log back into your account. Bring Jisung with you. I’ll be online in ten minutes and if I don’t see you there, I’ll text your mom the real reason why you didn’t show up on Christmas Day.” And he shuts off his phone with a click, throwing it randomly on his bed.

“Do boys normally make phone calls like that?” you ask, judging him.

He only shrugs, “Cooler ones do.”

“What happened during Christmas Day?”

“Jaemin got his ass drunk, went out with Jeno, and ended up having a threesome with a stripper.” He yawns, throwing himself back on the bed again. “I’m just glad they didn’t take Jisung with them. He’s been through a lot, that poor kid.” And when he sees you raising an eyebrow in question, he just waves you off. “Trust me, you don’t wanna know.”

There’s a lot of shouting in the background when the game started, most of it coming from the other line of Haechan’s headphones that’s strapped to his ears. You lean close to him so you can hear Jeno shouting at him, “Yah! What the fuck, Lee Donghyuck?! I thought you said you were going left!”

“I am going left.”

“THAT’S NOT LEFT, YOU IDIOT!”

And you feel sorry for your boyfriend for degrading himself on purpose like this. “As you can see,” he says, wincing as his ears begin to ring from all the shouting. He mutes his headphone as he focuses back on you with his fingers angrily tapping on his keyboards. “This causes me physical pain. I hope you’re happy.”

“I am happy.” You peck him on his cheek. “You’re the best. I love you.”

Haechan snorts, looking away and tapping his headphone again to unmute his microphone. “Hey assholes, I just died again. Sorry about that.” More screaming and angry rantings can be heard from the other line and you savor the moment as long as you can. It’s not every day you can see your cocky boyfriend being bullied by his underlings.

It’s too fun watching him play with his face contorting like he’s in deep agony that you begin to lose track of time. You just realize how late it is when Haechan suddenly quits the game, puts his PC back to the sleeping mode, and turns his chair around to face you. You suddenly feel nervous as you sit on the edge of his bed, with him staring at you with a sinful smile creeping up his face, crossing his legs.

“Ten, nine, eight,” he says, tapping his fingers and you flinch in realization. “You better start running, Noona.” He walks over, chucking off his shirt on his way to you whilst continuing his countdown. His silver necklace glints under the fluorescent light of his room and he bends down, trapping you between his arms. “Because I’ll be in charge in three… two…”

You gulp, your heart thrumming loudly against your ribcages as you feel his lips hovering dangerously above yours.

“One.”

***

[closedafterdark]

First Love

LOOΠΔ Park Gowon x Male Reader

11538 words

categories: fluff, smut, oral, light! bdsm, holy water required

notes: @mintwithchoco​ 👀

Read on AFF

There’s a popular saying that you find love when you least expect it.

For some, it’s about timing. What may not work out now can in the future. For others - it’s finding the courage to tell the other person how you feel. Perhaps it may also be the person was right next to you all along; just waiting patiently. Whatever the case, the roads to one another will be connected so long as both people are willing to meet halfway.

--

The new school year is always an exciting time. New classes. Teachers. Classmates. Getting to wear a freshly ironed uniform after having had a restless night due to excitement. A blonde haired girl walks down a heavily populated hallway. The sounds of students greeting each other after an extended summer break. Girls chattering away about the concert they went to or the latest gossip about who is dating who. Others run down the hallway as one student throws a crumpled up piece of paper and attempts to make a fadeaway, failing miserably and earning laughter from his friends nearby and especially the person recording with his phone. She walks past several classrooms with a piece of paper in hand before finally stopping in front of a row of lockers. Looking down, she finds the locker assigned to her as well as the combination to open it. Turning the metallic dial left, right and counterclockwise left once more, the locker door unlocks.

She places her notebook and several textbooks inside the locker, letting out a sigh of a relief as the weight has been removed from her backpack. Taking a sticker from the inside pocket of the notebook, she puts it on the door of the locker. The bell above the locker area suddenly rings, startling her. It was now time for homeroom class. Having barely closed her locker, she is almost blown away by a sudden gust of wind as various students run through the hall and try to find their homeroom.

--

“Listen up everyone, we have a new student joining us. Introduce yourself.” the homeroom teacher said, staring at you. You approached the front of the classroom with heavy steps and slumped shoulders. All eyes were on you which simultaneously caused you to close yours. Some watching intently, others having facial expressions unable to be read. Breathing deeply, you opened your eyes and addressed everyone.

“Hello, I just moved here yesterday.”

“That’s it?” the teacher asked. You nodded, not wanting to say anything else.

“Well, okay then. It seems our class is pretty full.. Do we have any open seats?” She scanned the room. Most were already taken. As her eyes reach the final two rows near the windows, she finds an opening at the very back of the room.

“Ah, you can sit there.” she said, pointing to a seat next to a girl who was the only person to not look at you. 

“Park Chaewon, raise your hand.”

You noticed a small hand being raised as the blonde girl who it belonged to refused to look you in the eye. With the teacher motioning you to your newly assigned seat, you heard the murmurs of students after each step you took. Most were girls giggling and having genuine interest in the new person in their class, while others looked like they could burn your skin from their intense stares.

“Good luck.” one student said to you as you approached the back of the classroom.

Removing your backpack and placing the straps on either side of the backrest, you looked to your right and saw the girl known as Chaewon. Your first impression of her was that she possessed an intimidating aura, seemingly not wanting to be bothered by anyone else in the classroom. Her large, round eyes remained focused at the whiteboard in front. Catching yourself staring at her for a bit too long, you were slightly concerned as she still had not blinked once. She was diligent, taking notes earnestly using a cute pink mechanical pencil with a bunny design on it. Her side profile was further enhanced by the sunlight coming from the windows next to you.

--

Lunchtime was something Park Chaewon looked forward to. Besides replenishing her energy and filling up her stomach, it provided relief from the awkward looks and gossip of other students. She was a loner at school by choice. Many referred to Chaewon as the blonde ice princess - mainly due to her cold expressions and staring at people eye to eye.

Today was a special day at the cafeteria: bulgogi, rice and various other side dishes. Despite having many desserts and pastries to offer most students sought out one - the coveted pillowy soft bread filled with chocolate hazelnut spread. Only offered twice a month, it is always made in limited quantities; no more than ten at a time.

Chaewon had the unfortunate misfortune of missing out on the delicious bread as something always prevented her from seizing one: whether it be a teacher in the hall stopping her to discuss how she felt about the latest test to being bumped by students running by and dropping all of her things. Just a few weeks ago, Chaewon was late to the cafeteria due to having to retake a missed exam.

But this time was different. She calculated down to the second all the events leading up to lunch. For two weeks, Chaewon made sure to get at least 8 hours of sleep, do homework in the library or immediately when she got home. She studied the material right after class ended in order to ensure it was drilled into her mind. Being an introvert and considered “antisocial” and “uncool” by the other students meant she didn’t have to worry about offending anyone’s feelings or waiting up for them. The restless tapping of her foot increased in volume and speed with each passing second in the classroom. She kept a hand clutching her stomach, hoping it would not make loud noises of hunger like it usually did at home. A slight sweat formed on her body as the teacher’s lecture about the different types of Japanese architecture fell on deaf ears.

“... and that is why the legendary Pokemon known as Ho-Oh left Ecruteak City and the Bell Tower after the Brass Tower was burned down. Make sure to do your assigned homework.”

The moment the teacher left the room, Chaewon ran out of the classroom’s back entrance. Taking a look at her wristwatch, her eyes watched the number of seconds constantly cycle through as she timed the distance between where she currently was and the cafeteria. Stepping out of the way of two students helping another gather their belongings and almost running into another student who emerged from a blind spot to the left of her, Chaewon continued running down the hall and each step of the staircase. Placing her hands on her knees, she was mere feet from the entrance to the cafeteria. Gathering the last bit of energy she could muster, she quickly walked inside.

Getting a tray, she grabbed a pair of chopsticks and a spoon. Thankfully with no one nearby, they weren’t able to hear her stomach growled in hunger. She took the metal container of rice and a large amount of bulgogi in stride. Continuing on with the radish soup and a small amount of seaweed and kimchi, it was now time for Chaewon to arrive at the final area before the cashier. With her eyes scanning all the delicious smelling baked goods, she found what she was finally looking for.

Only to find out the last one was just sold to the person in front of her. With a heavy heart, Chaewon sighed deeply and grabbed a similar looking bread filled with vanilla cream and placed it on her tray. After paying for her meal, she found a completely empty table on the corner most part of the cafeteria. Placing her tray down, she tosses the bulgogi around with her chopsticks before eating a spoonful of rice. She tried her best to not be discouraged, reassuring herself that at least there would be something to look forward to two weeks from now. As her eyes wandered and looked at other students laughing and having a good time with friends, she can’t help but feel sad at seeing the chocolate filled bread. Chaewon being deep in thought meant she wasn’t able to hear someone place their tray next to her. She looked down at her meal until her view was replaced with a still packaged bread. With her eyes widening slightly, she turned to her right and saw you extending out your arm. You nudge your hand holding the bread towards her once more, telling her to take it. Despite her hesitance, the excitement and slight amount of drool coming out of Chaewon’s mouth has reassured you that the right choice was made giving up the still warm pastry.

The two of you make eye contact and you give her a small, comforting smile. This causes her to smile back in return and gently take the bread. You and Chaewon eat in silence - with the occasional eye contact and smiles continuing to be exchanged.

--

You and Park Chaewon quickly became friends - a fact that neither of you knew was that you were now each other’s first friend. The two of you talking to each other earned a lot of stolen glances and whispers amongst classmates, but that too subsided over time. It became commonplace for the two of you to share meals together during school and after studying at the nearby food stands outside the front gates.

You helped bring the best out in each other: you learned the importance of being patient and to not let your emotions get the better of you. Chaewon gained self-confidence to stand up for herself and to properly voice her concerns should they arise. Both of you became well known in your classroom and the neighboring ones; mainly due to the occasional people who tried to bully or tease her soon learning why they shouldn’t mess with her - or anyone else for that matter. Chaewon gradually was able to overcome her shyness and make more friends, expanding both of your social outreach in the school.

Just as quickly as the school year began, it ended. For the most part it was largely uneventful. Except for the one older student who was able to go home early when he was chased by a swarm of angry bees which caused him to jump into the fountain in the middle of the campus courtyard. You and Chaewon continued to grow close as friends, becoming almost as inseparable as Ash and Pikachu.

Summer was a different story. You weren’t able to see Chaewon much due to a rather long family vacation that included a month overseas. While you were disappointed, Chaewon was even moreso. She didn’t tell you, but she spent the first week of summer break planning out a list of places and things to do with you.

“Hey I’m sorry Gwonnie, this came so unexpectedly. They never want to go anywhere, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. With how things are looking, I probably won’t be back until about a week before the new school year begins.” you said during a phone conversation with Chaewon.

“Oh no it’s fine…” Chaewon replied, trying and being unsuccessful with hiding the sadness in her voice. You didn’t want to disappoint her - she had spent the last few months excited about summer vacation and would ask you questions about your interests and what you would be willing to try.

“I’ll make sure to bring back some snacks and other souvenir goodies. How does that sound, best friend?”

The two of you warmed up to calling each other that - something Chaewon took very seriously. She brought up the term when you were both at a bubble tea cafe stating she never had a friend she could open up to and be herself. Until now.

“Tch, yeah okay.” she replied nonchalantly. “... and maybe some bread?”

--

The sounds of the opening bell and students running across the grassy football field and outside area signifies the beginning of another school year. Park Chaewon held onto the straps of her new mint green colored backpack, happily humming along to the song her headphones were currently playing. Being an upperclassman meant she finally got her own locker - something she has been looking forward to since she woke up. Removing one of the earbuds, she was able to hear what a few passing students were saying.

“Did you hear? She’s going to confess to the handsome oppa.”

“No way, are you serious? Let’s go check it out!”

Tilting her head in confusion, Chaewon shrugged her shoulders and continued walking down the long hallway. Distracted by the thought of something else, she passed by a small gathering of people without so much as a glance.

Various clusters of students watched as two people stood near the steps and between two rows of lockers. The familiar sounds of murmurs, whispers and a few students taking out their phones to record what was happening added to the anticipation. The girl shyly moved her foot back and forth as she looked down, unable to make eye contact with the person she was standing across from. With her left hand appearing to hold something behind her back, she used her right to tuck several bangs behind her ear. She was able to use that to muster up the courage and tilt her head up.

She is the epitome of a beautiful person: long luscious brown hair, bright big eyes, fair skin that almost represented the color of a block of tofu, and proportions that would make even a supermodel envious. Her nametag rested neatly above her coat’s pocket. Word spread quickly of the new junior’s beauty - with many waiting outside her classroom holding notes and various gifts. It was then known that she rejected them all kindly. At least, that’s what the rumor mill around the school said. So it comes as a surprise that she suddenly showed interest in someone, an upperclassman at that.

“I… I’ve liked you for a long time now, oppa.” she timidly said, presenting what she was holding behind her - a bouquet of red and white roses. Her cheeks blushed as she gathered up confidence and continued. “Will you go out with me?”

Her sudden confession earned cheers and applause from the audience. Several commented on how they didn’t expect her to be so bold on the first day of the school year. Some of the people who tried asking her out looked away in disappointment. But eventually all eyes were on you, awaiting your response.

Looking around - being the center of attention was something you actively tried to avoid. Your brain began processing the new information you were given and actively trying to find the best outcome to get yourself out of the current situation. You’d like to imagine that inside your mind were miniature versions of yourself working on a desk, stacks of paper on either side of your computer as you were busily typing away. Another version of yourself wearing a golf visor suddenly approaches.

“Just got an order from the boss. Dump everything that isn’t about how to reject someone!”

“Everything?” you asked yourself in confusion.

“Everything! Come on, let’s move it!”

With your visor self putting his hands on his hips, the entire department is thrown into chaos as the regular employee versions of yourself begin to run around frantically. Announcements of asking where the nearest shredder is could be heard as you held a giant stack of papers and began to run it through. Papers labeled as spice garden tips, top 5 bubble tea flavors, and what bread Park Chaewon liked were seen being destroyed.

“Come on, let’s get moving!” Visor you yelled as he approached another version of you who was standing in front of an open cabinet. “Hurry up, what do you think I’m paying you for?”

“You don’t pay me. We don’t even exist. We’re just a clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought.”

“One more crack like that and you’re out of here!” Visor you said as his momentary surprise turned into a frown of disappointment.

“No, please! I have three kids!” you begged.

A trashcan is then filled with a box labeled math while yet another version of you is shoveling piles of paper on the ground into an industrial furnace. You were slightly squeamish watching paper being slowly flushed down the toilet. The once well-oiled machine of your mind became a chaotic office full of flying paper and employees losing their sanity. Having the appearance of nothingness in your eyes and with your mouth slightly open, the girl brings you back to your senses.

“Well oppa, how do you feel?” she asked.

Thankfully for your mental well-being, your knight in shining armor appears in the form of a girl carrying a guitar with one strap and a chocolate-dipped peppero in another. Closing the locker door, she gathers the attention of you both.

“Wow, you’re outright flirting with him.”

“What?”

Using the peppero as a pointer she continued. “You’re wearing makeup even though it’s against school rules to do so. Your eyeliner isn’t even winged properly. Your hair is dyed which is again, also against the rules. You got him a bouquet of roses without even taking into consideration if he is allergic to them or not. And finally you’re wearing mint green colored socks. I just felt like bringing that up because I hate the color mint green.”

“Son Hyejoo…” the girl said, squinting as she reads the name tag. “Aren’t you from class 2? You guys are from game development so you wouldn’t understand how to have any social or relationship skills.” she smugly replied.

Hyejoo took the peppero out of her mouth and kept her neutral, slightly intimidating look. “What does being in game development have to do with social skills? Would you even approach him if he was just a normal guy?”

The girl smiled while grimacing and ignored her, looking at you instead. “So oppa, what do you say? Will you go out with me?”

“I thought about it and I don’t think I’ll have time to date you.” you said, putting your arm around Hyejoo’s shoulder. Hyejoo cheekily smiled as she twisted her lips to the right side of her face. “I’ll be busy with Hyejoo.”

The two of you looked at each other and smiled. 

“I just look at her face and time flies.”

“Not in front of her.” Hyejoo pretends to be embarrassed and hits your shoulder slightly. You wrap your arm around her back and bring her closer to you. At this point, both of your faces are mere centimeters apart. Hyejoo becomes more bold and continues to lessen the distance until both of your noses are touching. She tilts her head and looks at the girl once more.

“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Do you want to watch us kiss?”

“Don’t mind her. Just focus on me.” you said, tucking strands of hair behind her ear. The two of you tilt your faces and are about to kiss as you hear the girl scoff and turn away. Both of you see her walking away before turning back once more and letting out another sigh of disapproval. With her leaving meant the crowd of people began to disperse - some disappointed she was rejected and many wondering who the person named Son Hyejoo is.

Once everyone was gone, Hyejoo hit your chest and pushed you away from her while you began to laugh. “Did you see that? I told you she was jealous. She only liked you because it would increase her popularity! That’s so gross.”

“Thanks for saving me though, I really appreciate it.” you said to Hyejoo, pinching her cheek. This causes her to rub the newly sensitive area before she crosses her arms.

“What are you going to do about all her fanboys coming after you?” Hyejoo asked. The thought never occurred to you that she was the most popular girl at school. Whether you accepted or rejected her confession, there was bound to be trouble headed your way. You weren’t given very long to ponder as you noticed someone walking through the now empty area.

“Park Chaewon!”

She turned her head and removed her left earbud. Chaewon was excited to finally see you after being apart the entire summer. Tossing and turning the entire night due to excitement, she began to approach you but stopped when she noticed Hyejoo standing next to you. The intimidating and chic aura she exuded could be felt as Chaewon rubbed her arms and shuddered. This was further supported by her being a few inches taller and the way the sunlight from the windows shined on her hair and created a ray of light surrounding Hyejoo.

“H-Hey.”

“How’s my best friend doing? Sorry I wasn’t able to hang out with you all summer. I promise I’ll make up for it starting today.” you said, bringing her in for a hug. Chaewon is caught off guard when her face suddenly meets your chest. She discreetly inhales your scent - lavender with a hint of jasmine. Not expecting feminine aromas to be lingering on you, Chaewon grabs onto your coat and releases what you could only describe as the cutest sneeze you have ever heard. Despite Hyejoo’s facial expression looking the same, you were certain she was surprised at what just happened. You laughed and patted Chaewon on her back.

“Oh by the way, I forgot to introduce you two. Chaewon, this is Son Hyejoo. A family friend and someone who has a very big staring problem.”

“I do not.” Hyejoo said, hitting your arm. “It’s nice to meet you. Oppa’s told me all about you, unnie.”

“Unnie?” Chaewon said, looking at you.

“Did I not mention that? Yeah, Hyejoo’s younger than you by a year.” you said, fixing Chaewon’s ribbon and straightening out her jacket. Satisfied with your work, you reach into your pocket and take out a hairpin before putting it on the side of her head.

“Hyejoo and I were planning on hanging out and playing video games after school. Do you want to join us?”

“Y-Yeah, sure.” Chaewon quietly replied.

“Great! We’ll all meet at the statue outside the front gate. See you at lunch, best friend.” you said to Chaewon before putting your arm around Hyejoo’s shoulders. You raised your hand and flashed a peace sign, showing a homemade bracelet on your wrist. Chaewon looked down at a similar one of her own - the two of you having made it in art class with your initials and the date you first met. She wasn’t sure how she felt other than disappointed seeing you be close with someone else. Chaewon continued to look on as you and Hyejoo walked away; able to faintly hear you asking Hyejoo what she wanted for lunch and her nudging your ribs with her elbow as she unsuccessfully tried to remove herself from your embrace while the two of you started laughing until you were no longer audible.

--

The walk from school to your house was awkward to say the least. Chaewon had her head down the entire time and simply responded with a few words whenever you tried beginning a conversation. Hyejoo on the other hand stared at Chaewon’s backpack the entire time - the only reason it being a mint green color. She has been very outspoken about her strong dislike for bubble tea and mint chocolate.

Entering the passcode triggers a catchy jingle, signaling the door being unlocked. As the three of you remove your shoes, you are the first to step foot inside the apartment. You place your backpack on a chair before turning around and see Chaewon appear uneasy.

“My parents are always busy working so I have the whole place to myself. Make yourselves at home.”

Chaewon looks at Hyejoo who quickly went to the kitchen before timidly taking her first steps - Hyejoo was a curious individual; scanning the entire inside of your refrigerator with a 360-like view while Chaewon bowed and apologized for intruding, despite no one else being home. The apartment was sleek and modern due to having been recently built. Your parents liked to consider themselves in the upper middle class of the income spectrum. While their principles were built upon the motto that hard work and being humble are essential to a successful person - it’s also nice to treat yourself once in a while.

“Seriously, you guys are out of banana milk?” Hyejoo asked you as she closed the refrigerator door shut and carried a bowl of cut up watermelon to the sofa.

“How could we not be when you drink two almost everyday. You really should cut down on it.” You said, sitting next to her and stealing a piece that was pierced with her fork. Hyejoo shot you a death glare while you smirked and pretended not to acknowledge her.

“It seems like you know your way around here.” Chaewon quietly said to Hyejoo.

“She lives next door so she’s been here everyday. Like a sister I never asked for.” you replied, rolling your eyes as you were met with a punch to the shoulder by Hyejoo.

“Are we going to keep talking or are we going to finally play some games?” Hyejoo asked as she held a controller. You grabbed the remote and instantly changed the television settings, all the while looking at her.

“Prepare to be destroyed, Son Hyejoo.”

You gave Chaewon a controller of her own before powering up the gaming console. It was white in design with a gray base on the bottom. The familiar light blue elongated oval began to glow as Hyejoo went through a cabinet and found the perfect game for you all to play.

“What did you choose?” you asked.

“Mario Kart. Didn’t really feel like playing Smash or Battle Revolution.”

“Are you sure? You always lost at the last leg of the course.”

Hyejoo looked at you as if you insulted her entire family lineage. Furrowing her eyebrows, she pouted before composing herself and stuck her tongue out slightly as her expression changed.

“I will defeat you and shred your cart all the way down to its last atom.”

While the two of you were going back and forth over who was the better gamer, Chaewon remained quiet. She felt out of place - she considered you her best friend and yet it seemed you had better chemistry with someone she just met. She wasn’t sure what to do until your question shook her out of her thoughts.

“What character do you want to play, best friend?”

“A-Anything is fine.”

“You should be Toad then. I think it really suits you. What about you, Professor Watermelon?”

“I told you I hate that nickname.” Hyejoo said. “It’s almost as bad as when you call me Olivia Hye.”

“Why? I think it’s great! Did you know that Olivia is a common English name that has its origin from the 13th century meaning olive? You agree with me right, best friend?” you asked as both you and Hyejoo turned to Chaewon.

“I-I think calling her Hyejoo is fine.”

“Man, you guys are no fun. Olivia Hye would make a perfect stage name!”

“Enough. I want to play already. I choose Yoshi.” Hyejoo said.

“I choose Metal Mario. What map are we going on?”

“Coconut Mall is the best one.”

The game is getting ready to begin and all three of you are getting into position. As the timer counts down on screen, you wipe the sweat from your hands onto your pants in anticipation. Hyejoo wastes no time and takes an early lead when the announcer states you can go. She navigates the course with ease, choosing the upper elevator. You are in pursuit using several Boost Pads to gain speed. The two of you are constantly taking the lead over one another, something that frustrates Hyejoo as she bites down on the lower part of her tongue.

While Hyejoo is busy collecting coins and several more Boost Pads, Chaewon is having difficulty navigating through the course. Her character Toad is a cute humanoid mushroom with a white cap and red polka dots. Currently in 12th place, the odds of Chaewon winning seem grim. She is a full four seconds behind the two of you. The race continues on and a Hyejoo victory is all but inevitable. With the last leg of the race being in the parking lot mall, she continues her commanding lead. Seeing Chaewon not having fun, you toss your controller and take hers, startling her. You begin the ascent from last place, passing your own vehicle and all others as Chaewon looks at you before focusing her attention on the television screen. Hyejoo smirks before realizing you were helping Chaewon catch up. Fourth place became third and pretty soon it was back to where it started - you and Hyejoo neck and neck as the finish line was in sight.

“I’m sorry, oppa.” is all Hyejoo says to you before you see a bright yellow banana peel being thrown on the road. With the momentum being built up and rendering you unable to stop, you run over it, causing your cart to spin out of control and crash. Hyejoo cheers while you hang your head in disappointment. Chaewon comforts you, patting your back softly as you look to her and smile.

“You’re buying dinner.” Hyejoo teased as she stuck her tongue out at you. Glaring your eyes at her in unapproval, you raised your hands up and admitted defeat.

“You chose that map because you knew you’d win!” you protested as Hyejoo crossed her arms and smirked in satisfaction. You turned to Chaewon who was grabbing your controllers and organizing them into one neat pile.

“What do you want to eat?” you asked.

“I… actually have to get going.” Chaewon replied.

“Already? But it’s a Friday night, there’s no school tomorrow.”

“I told my mom I would be home early. Thanks for having me over. I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Wait, hold up. Let me get my jacket really quick and then I’ll walk you home.”

“No, it’s fine. I can get home by myself.” Chaewon quickly said as put on her shoes and bowed to you and Hyejoo before leaving.

“O-Okay.” you softly said as the tone of the door being locked rang through the apartment. You looked to Hyejoo who was busy scrolling through her phone.

“She’ll be okay, right?” you asked.

“She’ll be fine. She’s a big girl, she can take care of herself. What do you want to eat? I’m in the mood for some grilled bbq and kimchi, yum.” Hyejoo said, her eyes remaining glued to the phone screen.

“Seriously? When aren’t you hungry? Just get me whatever you’re having.”

Still worried about Chaewon, you pondered calling her and staying on the line until she got home. Your phone then started ringing.

“Hey, are you home already? That was quick.” you cheerfully said.

“O-Oppa…”

“Chaewon, what’s wrong?”

“C-Can you stay on the phone with me? I think someone’s following me.”

You quickly got up, startling Hyejoo. Your face became serious as you began to process what Chaewon was saying.

“Where are you?”

“I-I don’t know. There’s a-an alley and the light looks like it’s about to die out. Please hurry oppa, I’m really scared.”

“Just use your phone’s flashlight and talk to me like you’re talking to a parent. I’ll be there soon.”

You went to your room to put on a jacket and mask as Hyejoo peeked her head from above the sofa.

“Where are you going?”

“Watch the place while I’m gone. And order some extra food while you’re at it.” you said, stumbling as you struggled to put on your shoes and leave the apartment. Once out on the sidewalk, you looked everywhere frantically about where to begin looking for Chaewon.

“What route did you take from my place?”

“Yeah mom, we go down to Jeju every year. You like seeing the waterfall and cave, remember?”

South. With a clear direction in mind, you set off to find her. The early evening as some would call it meant a busy night scene. Restaurants open until the middle of the night, bright neon fluorescent signs that are like a signal to summon rowdy patrons to gather and exchange in alcohol and grilled meats. You passed by various couples enjoying a date or a group of friends looking to unwind after a stressful work week. Unsure of where to go next, you continued questioning Chaewon.

“What do you see near you?”

“Mom, do you remember when you got me those cute stickers from the vending machine and I used to put them on everything. Or how we used to buy Cheetos from the convenience store and walk home together? I miss those days.”

You were determined to find her, even if your legs gave out. Taking a sharp left turn and a subsequent right while almost getting hit by a car who honked their horn at you, you finally found her. Looking around nearby to find the suspicious person, there wasn’t anyone else in sight as you brought Chaewon into a hug. You took off your mask, watching as the chilly night air gave form to your heavy breathing. Chaewon’s eyes began to water as she started crying into your clothes. You brought her closer to you and gently stroked the back of her head.

“Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe now.”

The two of you help calm each other down before you release her from your embrace. Chaewon looks up and sees you smile before your expression changes.

“Why did you go home by yourself? I told you I’d walk you home!” you yelled, scaring her.

“Our places aren’t that far apart. I thought it would be fine.” she said quietly.

“Next time, Hyejoo or I are going to walk you home and that’s that.” you said, crossing your arms and regaining your composure.

“Why? You spent the entire day talking to Hyejoo more than me.”

“Why? Because I care about you, that’s why!”

--

8:02 AM. It’s a morning unlike any other as Detective-in-training Park Chaewon takes her seat in the briefing room. Having spent three years as a beat cop, she was excited to finally get hands on experience and advance up the promotional ladder.

“Happy Tactical Village Day!” a woman said to each person in the room, high fiving them in the process. She was extremely bright and cheerful, possessing a smile that could melt away anyone’s troubles. She turned to Chaewon and raised her hand, earning a soft hi-touch in response.

“Jung Jinsol, I’m surprised to see you so excited about departmentally mandated training exercises.” Captain Jo Haseul said, simultaneously addressing the woman along with the rest of the people in the briefing room.

“It’s the most fun day of the year!” Jinsol said, beaming. “Something you wouldn’t understand because you’re not programmed to feel joy.”

“Yes… But, my software is due for an exuberance upgrade.”

Jinsol folded her lips into her mouth and covered it with her hand. Others nearby tried their best to suppress their snickers as the captain continued.

“Pick a partner and stick with them. This is a team building exercise - I don’t mind you all having fun, but be responsible. Make sure to be on your best behavior and show everyone why Blockberry Precinct is the best precinct in our area. Dismissed.”

“Want to be partners?” Jinsol said, turning to Chaewon and batting her eyes repeatedly.

“I guess…” she replied. “But I too am due for an exuberance upgrade.”

--

One extremely long bus ride later, the squad arrived at the site of the training exercise. Various other precincts were also in attendance as Chaewon admired the building. It was rather dated and had seen better days, but she didn’t care. She was thankful to finally be given a chance to prove herself.

“I can’t wait for this to be over.” Jinsol whined.

“What? You were going on and on about how excited you were to be here. What happened?”

“I don’t actually look forward to being here. I enjoy getting the free souvenir bags and food they serve after. The meat melts in your mouth.” Jinsol explained as a small amount of drool began to seep out of the corner of her lips.

Shaking her head, Chaewon opened a duffel bag given to her by the event organizers and began going through the checklist to make sure everything was accounted for. As she fixes her safety glasses, she hears a familiar voice.

“Park Chaewon?”

 It was a voice she knew all too well. But she didn’t want to believe it was real. Someone who was once an important part of her life. Sighing, she turned around - a slight hope that her premonition wouldn’t be true. But her instincts never failed her before, so why would they now.

“H-Hi, oppa.”

“It’s been a long time.” you cheerfully said as you awkwardly pulled her in for a hug. Chaewon raised her hands to reciprocate but stopped halfway. The two of you stayed like that for several seconds before separating.

“Hyejoo, you’re here too.” Chaewon said.

“You don’t sound excited to see me.” Hyejoo coolly replied before tilting her head sideways and also giving Chaewon a hug. This time, Chaewon really did not know what to do and repeated the same lifeless motion she did with you.

“Small world, I really didn’t expect to see you here.” you said.

“Me neither…” Chaewon said as her voice still remained at its extremely low volume.

“Happy Tactical Village Day!” Jinsol announced to you and Hyejoo, her warm and inviting smile breaking the tension.

“I’ve heard of you, Jung Jinsol right? The famous rookie who managed to talk down the Treble Clef robber by doing a duet and singing in the rain?” you said, extending out your hand to shake Jinsol’s, only to be met with her high fiving you.

“That’s me! He wanted to send a love letter to his dearly beloved by writing, err, more like carving musical notes onto his victims. I didn’t know other precincts knew about me!” She said excitedly.

“I guess you guys are competing in the tag team free for all? Good luck.” you said, focusing your attention back to Chaewon. Her eyes briefly met yours, causing her to look away. With a slight tint of red on her cheeks, she felt the temperature in the room drop slightly only to see Hyejoo pass by.

“ Son Hyejoo, wait up! I’ll see you guys out on the field!” you said, waving to Chaewon and Jinsol as you ran to catch up to your dark haired partner.

--

“Everyone, listen up. There are ten hostages and thirty perps. Your mission is to safely rescue the hostages while eliminating the perps. Be careful as some of them could be disguised as civilians. The training exercise ends in two hours. Begin.”

Park Chaewon points her modified paintball gun at an empty room as her specialized glasses relay create a personal heads-up display displaying all of the information needed. She scanned the room for any clues but was disappointed to find out it was simply empty.

“Clear.” she relayed through an in-ear piece.

“I’m hungry. I knew we should’ve eaten more before this. I'm hungry, don’t want to gain weight.” Jinsol whined as Chaewon slowly walked through a hallway and entered another room.

“Seriously, unnie? It hasn’t even been thirty minutes since we last ate.”

“You call three pieces of carrot and some cashews eating? I can’t believe it took you twenty minutes to eat those by the way.”

“Focus. Is there anything on your end?”

“No, room two is clear also. What do you think about getting crepes?”

“You talk about not wanting to gain weight but want to eat crepes?” Chaewon asked.

“But have you tried Nutella crepes with banana slices? They are to die for.”

“I’m not going to cook them for you, unnie.” “I wasn’t expecting you to. Especially since the last time you were in the kitchen, the precinct almost got burnt down. I mean really, who puts a cake from the bakery with the metal tin still attached and reheats it for forty minutes? We had to air out every floor and it still wasn’t enough.”

“Not to mention the Captain calling me Chaewon Ramsay.” Chaewon whined.

“I remember that.” Jinsol said, laughing loudly into Chaewon’s ear, causing her to flinch. “You want to talk about where the lamb sauce is, it surely wasn’t in the Blockberry Precinct’s now defunct microwave.”

“One last room.” Chaewon replied, focusing her attention back onto the mission. “I’ll see you there.” Navigating through the almost endless hallway, Chaewon makes a left and looks up to see sets of stairs that could almost reach the sky. With a deep breath, she begins to climb. The first ten sets provided little difficulty, but as she continued on, Chaewon felt herself growing fatigued. The sign indicating what floor she was currently on began to increase in number. She was certain she climbed 99 floors - but in actuality it was probably twenty. Dragging herself up the final ten steps, she leaned against the wall only to see another pair of shoes standing next to her. Looking up she finds Jinsol, still possessing her patented warm smile.

“H-How did you get here…” Chaewon blurted out, swallowing her own saliva as she felt her mouth be dehydrated.

“You know there was an elevator, right?”

The two women point their guns in the air, looking at each other before entering the open final room. Their glasses showed no signs of life - but as the two go deeper inside, Chaewon finds the outline of a woman on the ground. Using two fingers, she looks to Jinsol and tells her for both of them to go straight ahead. Entering another room, they find Son Hyejoo on the ground with her hands tied behind her back and a bandana around her mouth.

Chaewon quickly rushes to her and helps her up while Jinsol removes the pieces of cloth. Hyejoo looks at her before pulling her in for a tight hug. Chaewon pats her back as the two embrace each other.

“Unnie’s here. It’s okay, Hyejoo.”

“Thank goodness you’re here. One of the civilians went off script and decided they wanted to be a perp.”

“Really? That’s pretty strange. I thought most of the people labeled as civilians don’t really care what role they got.” Jinsol said.

“I guess not.” Hyejoo replied. “I was trailing them but got caught here.”

“Let’s go find them then and win this thing.” Chaewon said, standing up and extending her hand out to help Hyejoo. As she is about to take it, someone else enters the room.

“Hey Hyejoo, why did you ask that guy if you two could trade-”

A whirl of blue paint passes by Chaewon followed by a grunt as she and Jinsol turn around to see you, having been shot by your own partner. You looked down at the giant blue stain on your vest as the pain began to gather at where you were targeted. With everyone still in a state of shock, Jinsol reaches for her gun but is shot too. Chaewon’s gun is still in her hand but knows she is unable to do anything.

“I’m sorry, unnie.” Son Hyejoo said as Chaewon herself is eliminated, thus ending the training exercise. It felt eerily similar to when the three of you played Mario Kart and Hyejoo betrayed you both. The same mischievousness seems to have not been lost with time.

--

After a fresh change of clothes, the four of you gathered outside the training facility. Chaewon was no longer a blonde, though a fair amount of it could still be seen through her now darker color. She wore a slightly see through black dress with various jewels that adorned it, showing the faintest amount of cleavage. It was a blend of tasteful and awe inspiring. Her grey colored contacts and bright red lipstick were the key points that stood out to you.

“You guys want to grab a drink? I know a pretty cozy spot nearby here.” you said to the group.

“I uh… just realized I can’t. I… gotta go meet my boyfriend.” Jinsol said, winking at Chaewon before bowing to you and Hyejoo. Chaewon tried preventing her from leaving but was unsuccessful at stopping her.

“What do you say? We’re one person down, but that doesn't mean we can’t catch up like old times.”

Chaewon looked at you both and smiled nervously.

--

The bar you brought up had seen better days. The decor was dated with wooden tables and various sized bar stools spread out. Various neon signs were burned out, with a sign that said ‘Quality Drinks Here’ having been reduced to ‘Quality Drinks Her’. Despite all this, it seemed to still have regular customers as well as a wall adorned with alcohol bottles.

“This place is such a dump, why did you choose it?” Hyejoo asked.

The reason why presented itself. An attractive woman tending the bar was always a sure fire way to get customers to come in, and you were no different. Her long light brown hair with blonde highlights ended past her stomach. Saying she was easy on the eyes was an understatement. The mole on her right cheek and near her left eye were accentuated by her winged eyeliner and pink eyeshadow. Her fair skin only helped in bringing out her beauty even more.

“Hey there.” she said, her deep voice unexpected compared to her appearance. “Haven’t seen you in awhile.”

“Work’s been keeping me busy. How are things?”

“Same old. Drunk old guys drinking away their problems and ignoring their wives calling them. Creeps trying to hit on me and ask for my number. So you know. The usual. I see you’ve brought company.” She said as she wiped down the counter and placed coasters in front of the three of you.

“Yeah. They’re old friends of mine. This is Park Chaewon.” you said, introducing her to your left. “While the creature on the right here is called Son Hyejoo.” This introduction earned you a punch to the arm from Hyejoo as the bartender laughed softly.

“You two are certainly pretty.” she said as she grabbed a few bottles from the wall to replace the ones in front of her. She then grabbed a packet of straws and placed them under her side of the bar.

“What can I get you guys tonight?”

“I’ll take a beer. Something smooth. And dark. What about you guys?”

As Chaewon pondered what to order, Hyejoo instantly knew what she wanted.

“I’ll take sex on the beach. Make it really dirty.”

“A fine choice. We don’t really get requests for that much.” the bartender said with a smile. “And for you?”

“A virgin Cuba libre…”

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that one more time? I couldn’t hear you.” she said, placing her index finger behind her ear and leaning closer.

“I wanted a virgin Cuba libre…”

“Isn’t that just a cup of cola with ice and a lemon wedge?” you asked.

“Nothing wrong with that at all.” the bartender said, scolding you. “Don’t mind him. Your drinks are coming right up.

The bartender quickly got to work, making a show of tossing bottles into the air and grabbing them successfully while pouring exact measurements into a metal container and making sure they were shaken, not stirred. She finished Hyejoo’s drink in record time, placing it on the coaster with a paper umbrella as a decoration. Reaching into the mini fridge behind her, she grabbed a dark amber colored bottle of beer and popped open the cap for you. With Chaewon’s drink, she placed a rocks glass on the coaster; using a pair of plastic tongs to put three ice cubes and adding the carbonated beverage. Slicing a lime wedge, she wiped the rim of the glass with it before squeezing several drops into the drink.

“Hope you all enjoy it.” she said before tending to other customers.

Hyejoo wafted the scent of her drink into her mouth before taking a sip. The liquid was slightly bitter, but not something she couldn’t handle. She bit on the lime wedge and puckered her lips.

“Not bad… I see why you come here. She’s cute.”

“That’s not the only reason why I come here, Hyejoo.”

“Why else would any other guy be here if there wasn’t a smoking hot bartender?”

“The quality of the drinks has improved ever since she started working.”

Hyejoo rolled her eyes as she removed the paper umbrella and continued to drink. You turned to Chaewon who swirled her drink around.

“How’s yours?” you asked.

“It’s fine.” she quietly replied.

“So, how have you been? Hyejoo and I lost contact with you after you dropped out a month before graduation.”

“I’ve been okay.. Hoping I finally get promoted to detective.” Chaewon said.

“I believe in you. You were always great at whatever you did.” you said, smiling softly at her. “And hey look at this.”

Chaewon turned her attention from her drink to you to see your wrist still adorning the bracelet the two of you made all those years ago. A sudden wave of emotions washed over her. She knew she had to excuse herself immediately.

“I… gotta go.” Chaewon said as she suddenly left the bar.

“You know she likes you, right?” Hyejoo said, getting your attention.

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I could see it in her eyes from the moment I met her. She’s liked you as more than just a friend. And you are too dense to admit the same.”

“I like Chaewon as a friend, Hyejoo.”

“Friends don’t make bracelets together with their initials and the date they met unless they’re girls or a couple. They certainly don’t drop everything and try to find someone in the middle of the night. Plus, while your actions make it seem like all your attention is on me, I know Chaewon is in your heart. The question is, are you going to stop lying to yourself and chase the one who got away?”

Your entire past with Chaewon is replayed in your mind as you think about her smile and the way she made you feel.

“I think I just figured something out. I gotta go.” you said to Hyejoo.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“Uhh…” you looked around and approached Hyejoo slowly before kissing her forehead and exiting the bar.

“No… pay your bill! Who raised you?” she said to herself as she swirled her drink around and took another sip.

“Why didn’t you tell him how you feel?” the bartender suddenly asked as she approached Hyejoo.

“He only sees her. I missed my chance years ago.”

--

You stood outside the bar and found Chaewon sitting on a nearby bench. It was rather high, causing her feet to not touch the ground. She kicked the air repeatedly, unaware of your presence. You crossed your arms and admired her for a bit before sitting down.

“I’m not dating Hyejoo. I never did.”

“I didn’t say anything…” she said quietly.

“But you were thinking about it. Hyejoo’s just a close friend. Something you used to be as well.”

The two of you sat in silence and admired the night sky. Even through a busy metropolitan city, the stars were still able to be seen.

“I can’t live without you.”

Chaewon looked at you to see you still watching the stars, pointing at a few of them as you smiled.

“Without you, whether it be a month or a day, the time I spend becomes meaningless to me. This was the conclusion I came to when I saw you again at the training exercise today. I’m sure you don’t understand what I’m talking about, though…”

Chaewon continued to look at you, not saying anything. You were embarrassed at what you just said and began to look away. She however, held your face and stared into your eyes before bringing you closer to her and planting a tender kiss on the lips. You opened your eyes and saw the same smile she had when you shared the special bread with her in the cafeteria.

--

One quick taxi ride later, Chaewon was about to enter your apartment for the very first time. The two of you stumbled into your apartment, laughing the entire time. From an outsider point of view, they probably would’ve thought you were both drunk. And to an extent, they were right. You two were drunk off each other.

Only your coats made it onto the couch as a discarded pile of clothes traced your steps into the bedroom. She led you to your bed, with you reduced to only wearing your boxers. Chaewon looked nervous, something you picked up on right away.

“We don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“N-No. I want this. I want you, oppa.”

Chaewon gave you a quick peck before sinking onto her knees in front of you. She was met with your boxers pitching a tent. Grabbing the top hem, she slowly pulled them down. Your cock throbbed once newly exposed to the cool air, almost hitting her in the face.

She looked at your cock curiously. You felt her slim fingers wrap themselves around your base into a fist. She gave a slightly firm squeeze, causing you to moan. She began with slow strokes, seemingly preparing you for what was to come. She noticed you beginning to leak, running her thumb through it and earning herself a breathless gasp from you in the process. She brought it close to her nose and sniffed it. You laughed as she continued. The juxtaposition of Chaewon’s large eyes and innocent features contrasting her sinful action was a sight to behold.

“I’ve never done this before, oppa. Is it supposed to take this long?”

“For what? For me to cum?” you asked. Chaewon nodded.

“I… actually released a load in the shower after the training exercise.” you embarrassingly admitted.

Chaewon nodded in genuine interest as she continued pumping your shaft in her small hand. You threw your head back in satisfaction as you weren’t aware you were using her fist as a sort of fleshlight. Her grip increased as she began to stroke you faster.

“M-Maybe you could put it in your mouth?” you asked, scared Chaewon would say no.

“I just… have never done it before.”

“That’s okay. I’ll help guide you. I guess you could start with licking the precum that’s leaking out.”

Chaewon did as she was told, flattening her tongue and swiping the colorless liquid from you. She repeated this several times, causing the head of your cock to be wet. You didn’t tell her, but she spit on your dick and began to spread it all over with her hand and also by puckering her lips. It surprised you that she knew how to do that for claiming to have never given a blowjob before. But then again, it wouldn’t be difficult to know given everything is one simple internet click away. Your cock was beginning to be covered in Chaewon’s saliva as she meticulously applied it all over.

“Maybe you could massage my balls too? They’re sensitive so you have to be really careful.”

With her right hand stroking and lathering you, her left fondled your balls. The stimulation from both of your hands felt amazing, it caused the baby hairs on your body to stand erect while sending electric jolts of pleasure to your spine.

Chaewon seemed to be getting the hang of things, but now was the real test. She gave the underside of your shaft one smooth continuous lick until she found her way to your tip. Wetting her own lips, she grabbed onto both of your thighs and finally took you inside your mouth. You held your breath as you felt her wrapping her lips around the tip of your cock. A moan of satisfaction was released as her soft lips began to work their magic.

While you were sure she was telling the truth about not having done it before, it seemed Chaewon had been practicing somehow as she was constantly trying to keep her teeth out of the way and hurting you.

“Fuck... princess, that feels so good…”

Chaewon began extending past your tip, adding an inch into her mouth as she hollowed her cheeks. Her soft lips felt like heaven as she slowly became a soft ball of hair taking more and more of your length. It was moot at this point to continue instructing her - Chaewon flattened her tongue again and you felt it coating the underside of your shaft, sending even more pleasure coursing through your body. You closed your eyes and savored the wonderful sounds of Chaewon slurping on your dick, thoroughly covering you in her saliva. You felt her nose reach your base a few times, with her releasing you from the warm confines of her mouth after she gagged and was unable to continue. Your cock glistened as a saliva bubble formed just below where the tip and shaft connected. Thin strands of saliva connected you and Chaewon together as she sliced through them and giggled.

“That was amazing.” you said. As much as you loved having her in between your legs, you were ready for the main event. You helped her off her knees and gently pushed her onto the bed.

It seemed the years were kind to Chaewon - she was the perfect mix of toned, while possessed a hint of curviness. Her thighs were deceptively thick; and soft to the touch as you spread them open. You began by feeling how smooth they were before planting several kisses on them. You made a trail that slowly ascended, doing so on both of them before kissing the inner creases of the apex of her thighs. She was already sensitive, her body reacting to every contact from your lips. Like you, Chaewon also began to leak out as you stuck your tongue out to consume it. The taste was like sweet nectar, something you were happy she was releasing for you.

“F-Fuck, that feels so good…”

It was the first time you heard Chaewon curse, and with what was next, you knew it was only the beginning. You parted her damp folds with your thumbs and lowered your head to begin exploring her moist cavern. Chaewon’s body bucked upwards from the pleasure as your tongue continued to excavate the sweet nectar she possessed. You gently bit on her clit, causing her to scream in arousal as her thighs wrapped themselves around your head and pushed you deeper.

Her eyes became half-lidded and consumed by desire as you continuously lapped up her juices while stimulating her folds.

“O-Oppa, keep going. Please… don’t stop!”

It was beginning to be a bit difficult to breathe, but you were happy knowing Chaewon was on the receiving end of pleasure. You traced two fingers against her inner folds before sinking them inside her. She was extremely tight - her walls immediately latching onto and squeezing you. Your thumb remained outside, rubbing her clit as you repeatedly moved your fingers in and out of her pussy. It didn’t take long for Chaewon to achieve her euphoric bliss.

“Oppa!” she screamed loudly as it finally arrived. Removing your fingers just in time, you parted your lips and stuck your tongue out as her hips frantically raised upwards while thighs squeezed your head even harder. You could feel her toes curl as Chaewon’s orgasm caused her entire body to react. Her sweet essence coated your mouth and cheeks as she drowned you in pleasure.

You tried your best to consume it all but it proved to be too much as Chaewon continuously released her lovely juices. Violent aftershocks continued on as you helped her begin to descend from her orgasmic high. You rubbed her sensitive clit and stimulated her until you could feel her thighs hold on your head begin to weaken.

“You did so well, princess.” you said, smiling. Her juices stained your lips and chin as you planted tender kisses in between her legs.

“I-I... fuck… intens- fuck…”

She was still drunk from the orgasm you gave her. You continued praising her and kissing her thighs as she gradually began to recover and return to normal. Once she does, you embrace her and place her sweat-kissed body on top of yours.

Chaewon ran her hands through your hair as your lips found their way to her nipples, gently sucking on them as she moaned out in pleasure. Your hands did not remain idle - roaming every inch of her skin until resting on her soft bottom.

“C-Can you fuck me now? Please, oppa?”

“How do you want it, princess?” you asked.

“Can… can I ride you?” she shyly asked.

“I’d love that.”

“Wait.” she said, kissing your lips as she got off you and went to her nightstand. You turned to your side and saw her rummaging inside a drawer looking for something. Most of its contents were various night creams and lip gloss, and what appeared to be a phallic-shaped device. You were about to ask if you could help when she closed it and held something behind her back.

“What is it?” you asked.

“Something for me, but also something for you.” she said, biting her lower lip seductively. She grabbed your wrists and wrapped a thin black lace material around them before tying them together. She repeated the process to your eyes. You didn’t expect this side of her, but then again, you didn’t expect to currently be in bed with her either.

“They say sensory deprivation provides an even better experience for both partners.” Chaewon said.

She rubbed her splayed lips against your length several times before reaching below herself and guiding you inside for the very first time. The two of you let out a loud sigh of relief as your tip parted her. She was warm, wet, and dangerously tight. Her body refused to let you go, sinking your cock deeper.

“Oh fuck…” she exhaled loudly as she firmly planted her hands on your chest. She raised her hips until only your tip was inside her before slamming herself back down. She did this several times to warm the both of you up. Eventually, she placed her hands on either side of your head as her lips met yours. The two of you explored each other’s mouths as your tongues danced an elegant tango. It was as if your cock explored a newer part of her pussy with each deep entrance.

Being unable to move your hands or see Chaewon heightened your other senses even more. You were able to feel how tight she was bouncing up and down on your cock. The sounds of her moans that were like music to your ears. The smell of sweat and sex releasing natural pheromones making you want this moment to never end. But as the tightness in your abdomen continued to grow, you knew it wouldn’t be possible.

She bounced herself softly up and down five more times until she felt you raise your hips to match hers. There was nothing else either of you could have done - it was inevitable. Your cock began to throb as a warning before you finally exploded inside her. You moaned in satisfaction as you released shot after shot of thick, hot semen into her waiting pussy. Chaewon’s walls clenched against your shaft, suffocating it, which only caused you to unload more.

Her lower body felt flushed as she could feel it beginning to leak out and stain her thighs. Both of you were exhausted, but fully satisfied. She gathered her remaining strength and raised her hips from yours, removing the blindfold and laced restraint on your wrists. The two of you savored the feeling of each inch being withdrawn from her slowly. As you both struggled to catch your breath, you held each other tightly as you poked her nose and kissed the top of her forehead. Chaewon traced her name on your chest and fixed your damp, out of place hair.

The plan was originally intended to be you and Chaewon taking a shower together and getting clean. Which the two of you managed to do until you didn’t. Due to the simple nature of being in the shower with a naked woman, your cock grew hard in her hand as she was cleaning you. Making sure to go to the area where the water wasn’t at, Chaewon lathered your cock in soapy suds while you used a loofah and did the same to her thighs. It seemed both of you were thinking the same thing as she turned around and faced away from you.

Grabbing onto her surprisingly wide hips, her thighs squeezed your pulsing shaft in between them. With both of you soaped up, there was minimal effort required as your cock slid through with relative ease. Your hands held onto her as you remained patient and were awarded with savoring the feeling of her heavenly soft thighs and how the top of your cock rubbed against the bottom of her pussy lips.

You kissed Chaewon’s beautiful shoulders and the back of her neck as you continued your suffocatingly slow thrusts. Her warm thighs continued to hug your cock until you erupted. Although it was much weaker and a smaller amount, it was no less pleasurable. You continued to fuck her thighs as she made sure to milk you for all you had left. Your initial two ropes of semen splattered on the glass door loudly. Gradually decreasing the already slow speed of your thrusts while riding out your orgasm, Chaewon softly rubbed her cute butt against your crotch until you stopped.

The two of you properly washed off this time before stepping out of the shower and wrapping yourselves together with one towel. You held Chaewon tightly as the two of you gave each other steamy kisses that mirrored the hot shower just now. Not even bothering to put on clothes, the two of you plopped onto the bed. With one final tender kiss, you savored being in each other’s embrace and quickly drifted off to sleep.

--

“... and that’s how oppa and I started off our morning.” Kim Jungeun could be heard saying.

Park Chaewon opened up her eyes, rubbing the sleep and exhaustion out of them. She blinked several times before her vision readjusted and was greeted with a disapproving frown from Jungeun.

“Seriously…” she complained. “You asked me to tell you why oppa and I were late and you fell asleep during my story.”

“I’m sorry.” Chaewon said. “Been having problems sleeping at home lately.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah… just got a lot on my mind I guess.”

“Things will get better. They always do.”

“Thanks.”

The break room door opens and you enter, greeting Chaewon and Jungeun. You give Chaewon a fist bump before approaching Jungeun who puckers her lips, asking for a kiss. You smiled and honored her request. The loud smack of your lips connecting and disconnecting causes her to smirk in satisfaction.

“I thought you hated kissing at work?” you asked.

“How could I when your lips always taste so yummy… I mean, it’s not like I l-like you or anything. Pig.” Jungeun said, quickly switching from disgustingly sweet to the tsundere, chic woman she was well known as. This earned soft claps from Chaewon, causing Jungeun to groan.

“As expected of the supreme leader.”

The three of you were beginning to discuss where to go for lunch when the break room door is opened once again.

“Oppa. Lieutenant’s looking for you. Says she has some helpful information about a case you’re working on?”

“Got it. Thanks, Hyejoo. Guess we’ll have to take a raincheck on lunch together.” you said, getting up out of your seat. You waved to Chaewon who raised her eyebrows and smiled while kissing Jungeun’s forehead, who didn’t bother to get out of her seat and instead tilted her head up towards you. You flashed them both a peace sign.

“Wait, oppa. What is this?” Jungeun asked, grabbing your wrist which was adorned with a beaded bracelet.

“Oh this?” you said, holding it up. “I found it while cleaning through my things. Hadn’t worn it in years but decided today would be a good day to start. I’ll see you guys later.”

“I’ll call you.” you mouthed to Jungeun before exiting the break room with Hyejoo. Jungeun blushed and couldn’t contain her smile as she happily sipped on her iced americano. She turned to Chaewon who lost all color on her face.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“That bracelet…”