#I already ache to be back
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Amazing moments becoming only memories gives a sad sinking feeling
#I was exhausted and sometimes miserable on our London trip due to all the walking#but now I’m about to leave for work today and I’m just holding onto the memories#and I wish I could be back there#yeah I hated the crowds and now I’m sick likely because of people and the cold#but the sound of the city and the sights of the buses and buildings#I already ache to be back#and I don’t know if or when my next trip is going to be let alone the next time we get to go to Europe#text
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"We get to, this season, explore their chemistry and their real love and their intimacy. So we get to have a glimpse into that world that just feels so pure and beautiful and romantic! And then, sort of navigating those other circumstances once they're out in the world, dealing with real... challenges." - Isa in an interview with The Knockturnal(x)
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#maria olivares#rhett abbott#isabel arraiza#lewis pullman#there was an article that said that maria and rhett may screw royal over? i say they should go for it! /hj#rhett x maria#i know the last gif is blurry but trust me she was holding his arm and i just thought that was adorable#i might add a lew quote if he ever gets asked about outer range s2 in an interview smh(i'm begging someone to ask him more about it!)...#the biggest fucking grin on her face whenever they kiss#her smile and him smiling back at her before the forehead kiss is EVERYTHING to me#also her little smile as he kisses the side of her head like she knows he's doing his best but knows that it's unlikely that he's leaving..#truly if it gives isa and lew more screen time i'm all for it!#i say all this but i still want a spin-off of them just on a roadtrip#i am convinced that he kisses her just because he thinks she's being really cute#i kinda had a feeling that was maria in the trailer doing something to rhett in the trailer(iykyk) and my heart still fell into my stomach#i'm not including any dream/nightmare sequences because as far as we know they can't see the future... right?#do i sound stupid and biased? maybe... please don't judge me#she's hungry but her heart aches to stay... will the flesh have its way in s3? will she be ... ''already gone'' a la eurydice in hadestown?#tw: food?#will forever be sad they didn't get a dance :(#the way he makes her giggle and smile before kissing her in the car? PLEASE#maybe leaving is her way of fixing things for the both of them so he doesn't have to choose between her and his family?#and so he doesn't have to feel guilt for holding her back every time he looks at her... but girlie have a proper conversation PLS
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horror having crazy irrational thoughts about food,,,,, like bro thinks there's poison in the cupcakes. someone snuck razor blades into the bread and once he takes a bit it'll cut him up. somehow there's mold growing inside the bananas and when he eats it the mold colony is gonna start growing on HIM and then he'll become a moldy skeleton and oh god and oh god and he is paranoid but hes so hungry.... BUT WHAY ABOUT BUGS IN THR FOOD,,,, BUT HES HUNGRY.... a struggle it truly is
probably doesnt help that dust and killer could feed into it. killer could make off hand remarks on how he snuck razor blades into the meat horror's attempting to eat (to fuck around with horror. just some eeeever so slight psychological anguish. and also because killer would just be the type of casually carry those around. what for you may ask well decide for yourself) and then immediately horror's mood drops and he storms out of the dining room. dust and horror go on a sweet little picnic in a beautiful field and its all beautiful and inconspicuous but dust made the food and horror knows that look in his eyes. horror knows dust was muttering something about chemicals a day or 2 ago. the food is poisoned isnt it??? and dust just smiles and motions for horror to eat it
#imagine being starved and then you hang out with two guys who make food dangerous#imagine the dread. the rational part of his mind telling him not to eat it but his instincts are so so so hungry#horror eats the food because it genuinely looks so good but he knows he just fucked up#they make eachother so SO worse........ they are SO bad for eachother its amazing#and horror probably can't cook all that well too so he definitely needs to learn which is a whole other struggle with his eating issues#MAKE THEM BREAK UP ALREADY THEY CAUSE TOO MUCH SUFFERING FOR EACH OTHER 💔💔💔#sorry triglycercule but no 🧡 they deserve to suffer together as retribution for everything they did#sometimes i feel like this angry torturous mtt that all hate eachother is a bit too ooc#but then again..... god is it so fun to come up with ideas for the mtt to hurt eachother#its so delicious 🧡 like dust's poisoned food! horror eats more because it tastes so good#but he can feel the poison kicking in. he can feel his body slowly start to ache and his movements slow as he eats more and more#and soon he can't move. he's paralyzed and in pain in this flower field with dust#and as he starts to pass out he reaches his hand out a bit for dust. just for the smallest bit of comfort#horror's absolutely furious at him for poisoning him but dust still holds his hand back#dust holds horror in his arms with a smile as they lay in the flower field enjoying the moment#as if you didn't just fucking poison the fuck but whatever that's horrordust for you!#dont worry horror gets him back by stealing papyrus's scarf and ripping some of it off to wear in front of dust#he sews a little patch of the scarf onto his jacket and dust is staring at that shit. that is a TAUNT#yeah this is papyrus's scarf. what are you gonna do about me ripping some of it huh? poison me AGAIN???#theyve all grown tolerances for different poisons because the mtt genuinely cannot stop trying to kill eachother#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#tricule hc#god i struggle to differentiate because hc and rant so much because i swap around and change hcs so frequently that there isnt consistency#ive now decided that rants MUST be substantially longer and less put together to be a rant and not a hc. and that shall be DECREED#utmv#sans au
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The puns Cyno said during "Give Her Sweetness" when you return to Caravan Ribat tried really hard to keep to the original and I was kinda interested in seeing how the localization team handled it. I also just like puns, and these puns are honestly p good, so I wanted to give folks who were curious a breakdown below:
The Padisarah "proof in the pudding" joke tries to match with the original CN pun and it was ok ngl. The words cold pudding 「冷布丁」 :: [lěng bùdīng] is a perfect homophone for the phrase to be surprised/suddenly 「冷不丁」 :: [lěng bùdīng]. Knowing this, he says: 「怎麽樣?冷布丁吃到一塊兒冷不丁的感覺」 or roughly “How is it? Do you feel surprised to eat cold pudding?” where the text in bold sounds identical in chinese and Paimon accidentally re-uses the pun with 「...幹嘛冷不丁講一個冷笑話?」 "why did you surprise(/cold pudding) me with a cold joke"
The "why Henna Berries can't lie" joke also suffers from being lost in translation, but the red⟷read pun was a good save. The pun comes from the homophones for the classifier for leaves/petals 「片」 :: [piàn] and lie 「騙」 :: [piàn] and how cheat 「欺」 :: [qī] sounds like seven 「七」 :: [qī]. This is a bit to take in, but with this information, he says: 「應爲...它的花瓣想來只有五篇,絕不可能存在欺騙」 which comes to "Because... it only has 5 flower petals, it can never have the existence of deception." where the text in bold sounds identical in chinese to 7 petals.
The "bass lake eating their worms" joke was a little bit of a stretch but again, it's trying to keep the original puns. The joke hinges on the the fact that bass are freshwater fish and that the homophones for breaking a promise (lit. eat words) 「食言」 :: [shíyán] and eat salt 「食鹽」 :: [shíyán] sound identical. Phew! Okay, now to what Cyno says: 「是嗎?那你敢對湖裏的鱸魚們發誓嗎?」 which is “Really? So do you swear by the bass in the lake?" 「...湖裏的鱸魚,它們可從不食言」 “...the bass in the lake, never break their promises (/eat salt)”
And the final bonus pun is translates well enough into english, the line about "I hope so, I just handed it to you." There's an idiom where you'd say Leave it to me/us/etc. 「包在我身上」 :: [bāo zài wǒmen shēnshang], but this is literally the package is on us. So it comes out as: Paimon:「行,包在我們身上!」 or "Ok, leave it to us!" (/ the package is on us) 「嗯,這一包赤念果的確在你們身上」 "Mn, these Henna Berries are indeed on you."
I FORGOT THE BONUS BONUS "hat trick" PUN WITH WANDERER. I've talked before about how Hat Guy is related to being called A-Mao in chinese, but Cyno turns that into a pun with his TCG joke as well. The phrase to play cards 「打牌」 :: [dǎpái] is strung together with hat 「帽子」 :: [màozi] in order to create the term to refer to counterfeit items 「冒牌貨」 :: [màopái huò]. Last one now! 「你的牌...會變成冒牌貨!」 aka "Your cards .... will become counterfeit!"
All in all, fun puns and fun facts!
#kittybee talks game linguistics#genshin impact#cyno#genshin cyno#Chromatic Ode of Candies and Roses#I wrote up 80% of this post this morning but I had to leave for work and just came back to proofread a bit lol#i love that Cyno was giving a little thumbs up when he was making the joke with Wanderer - he was already congratulating himself before the#joke was even said LOL he had the thumbs up as early as when he said “your cards...”#wanderer just keeps taking psychic dmg from sumeru's natives First nahida now cyno#also Paimon sneaks in a final joke that is absolutely lost in translation#it's translated as “Finally free from the terrible jokes” when she in fact says “our bodies are finally warmer” ref to Cyno's cold jokes#and asking candace if “having all those cold jokes hidden in his stomach won't cause a stomach ache” (the cringe atk part)
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Books of 2024: What I'd Like To Read By The End Of The Year.
I was feeling ~Whelmed~ over the weekend about all the things I still want to read, and I thought to myself, "Gee Why Is That??", so I pulled everything off my shelf and stacked it up basically in the order I'd like to read it and then went "....ah I see, carry on."
Now this stack WOULD be fine, except everything from ALWAYS COMING HOME down through HOUSE OF LEAVES is stuff I'd like to read adjacent to writing projects, namely: 1. IN BETWEEN (which I'm working on now but need to wrap up by the end of August) and then 2. NANO (which, y'know. Starts on November 1). So the sixteen (16) books between ACH and HOL are for the next three (3) months, and then I'll come back for the side-leaners during/after NaNo, I think.
(Not pictured in this stack is STARLING HOUSE, which I don't have in hand yet but will also be a NaNo Prep book!)
Basically my plan is to read down through this stack in this order and see how long it takes me! I finally got set up with my coworking space today, so hopefully I'll be writing late a couple nights a week starting. tomorrow. Which. will eat into reading time pretty significantly, hopefully.
But there's so much cool stuff I want to read! And write! And knit!! You see why I'm having A Time, huh.
#books#books of 2024#book stack#book photo#book photography#my photography#also tagging as:#in btw#nano2024#fortunately the haunted bookstore and ambergris kind of blur/fuzz my two writing projects#that's why they're in the middle--transitional#ACH through UNEXPECTED PLACES are the driscoll ones on deck by the end of the month#everything under ambergris is flagged as nano prep#can you tell i'm going to try to write a haunted house book lmao#SELF-PORTRAIT WITH NOTHING and SPIDER AND HER DEMONS are also driscoll adjacent#but i think i'm gonna have to pause those til after nano#(which is fine because it'll be nice to have some driscoll to get back into circa december/january to get back into the vibes)#and then HOW TO BE EATEN and DAWN are leftovers from my 24 in 2024 list that aren't accounted for in the rest of this stack or already read#anyway fuck the dayjob i could do all the things i wanted if i didn't burn 50+ hours a week on capitalism adjacent bullshit#(i work 40hrs and ONLY 40hrs dont worry but. the admining around the job is bullshit and we count that in our time)#(commute plus prep plus packing plus food plus outfits....ugh)#ANYWAY SIXTEEN BOOKS BETWEEN NOW AND NANO ISN'T TOO BAD RIGHT#I'M GONNA GO SHOWER AND READ ACH BYEEE
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Jason, having achy pains in his legs because hypermobility and sciatic nerve is a shit combination: I want to sue my body this is so homophobic
Militia guy: Boss I don't think you can do that, unfortunately, would you like a heat pack
Jason: I want happiness
Militia: Sir I can't microwave that
#arkham knight#jason todd#arkhamverse#arkham militia#because im projecting jason's not hypermobile in his knees but he is in his hips#despite this he gets awful pains in his knees especially and all down his legs because of a little ditty called the sciatic nerve#which is a big bullshit nerve that runs down your lower back and down your legs and it hurts like a bitch#and because i dont have anyone else to project this onto and Jason already has many pains and aches i thought why not#sorry jay but my legs hurt all the time and i need to take this out on someone#also his ankles toes knees and hips are constantly cracking loudly and sorely when he walks#he stubborns his way through the pain as he always does
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what is it about lesbian media that fills me with the heaviest & most profound sadness in the pit of my stomach, in my throat, under my heart.
#keeping it fun and funky fresh#personal#matty watches#i am not even talking about things like carol (which absolutely did leave me with an indescribable aching sensation for days)#or bloom into you which i am watching now (i can't get the opening song out of my head and it feels like it's stealing my breath)#i'm talking about fucking Enchanting Grom Fright from the owl house! which made me so so so sad when i watched it back in aug 2020#and WHY. and for WHAT.#god.#it's like. it's some Gender Feelings for sure. plus ya know. my overall shall we say delicate mental state (:#but for god's sake i can't even watch some yuri without wanting to curl up and weep and subsume into the mossy forest floor#gender blogging#matty's mental health#i watched carol when it came out in 2015 while having the worst time of my life working on ssv oliver hazard perry#and like i said. already was having a horrible horrible time. and left the theatre absolutely emotionally devastated#feeling like i'd been shattered & the pieces just leaned back against each other#and not... really knowing why it was hitting me so hard or why i was feeling so fucking fragile about it#and that. was definitely an Egg Moment. i'd started id'ing as nonbinary like 6 months earlier.#idk. this got away from me#what i'm trying to say is. i'm watching bloom into you and i'm feeling incredibly fragile about it.#but also Why do i feel so incredibly fragile about every single fucking piece of lesbian media i've ever seen#ALSO INB4: I AM ALREADY A GIRL BY NOW AND AM A LESBIAN SO IF ANYONE IS GONNA MAKE AN ~I SUGGEST FORCEFEM~ JOKE PLS DON'T
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I hope Max aged the same amount of time that has passed irl since the last time we saw her.
Itd be like catching up with an old friend who was still in the process of figuring out herself when I last saw her and see what shes been up to and what shes become!
#life is strange#life is strange: double exposure#itd feel a bit like meeting korra being the same age as you after being the same age as aang at the time as well#i hope they didnt choose to bring back Max for nostalgia and sales reasons#i hope its relevant that it has to be max with this narrative#nervously hoping#max caulfield#ive already accepted back then that chloes death must be the canon one considering the way they made the endings alone#it feels like summer 2013 again rn#my heart aches#mine#there r a lot of feelings and thoughts#life is strange double exposure
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my mom keeps listing off things i need to do and accusatorily asking why i never do anything like art anymore n i am just. so exhausted. ive never been more tired i just want to burrow myself in the earth n disappear in the cold dirt
#i dont have energy for art and i honestly never have#ive never been creative#drawing sucks everything out of me and it takes me hours what it does other people a few minutes#i wasnt built for it either maybe#everything about living is so difficult for me#i cant even b loose and doodle#it doesnt happen#how can i think i was made to live when i cant even make art#silly joyful moments everyone else can#nothing feels good to me#except being with my boyfriend#im scared im gonna ruin everything#if not already w the way i look#then with how useless n empty n just snapping at everything to go away i get when im lost those bad things#ive never felt safe with anyone before so maybe itll be different but still im Scared#& on my own . its always the same its always tainted w that ache that dirty stain on everything that hits like nails being driven into me#i cant go shopping#i cant listen to music#i cant feel the sun on me or listen to birds#i cant look at water#i cant go grocery shopping#i cant even hear the sound of metal cutlery#only 1 second and im gone#lost in the agony n dizziness#i want to think i can escape it i can get better#but i dont know if i can#or how much false hope i can keep forcing myself through#it always comes back to me#no matter how much i hide n avoid it all#because im the problem
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To whoever made the creative decision for Aizen's characterization this season: Congrats, you've achieved the impossible. You've managed to turn me into an Aizen girlie.
#well not really lmao#i think it just feels that way to me because of my own character development. we've come a long way.#i used to haaaaate him#like not love to hate. just straight up hate hate.#like fake karakura town arc? when he just kept talking for like fifteen episodes?? i just wanted him to shut the fuck up already XD#and then yhw//ach showed up and i was like:#........... i retract all my previous statements please bring aizen back aizen come pick up me i'm scared#sorry not sorry but our og villain did it better you wish you were him#add to that the fact that he was right (i always knew he was right about soul society but then when we saw the soul king)#(and what kyo//raku admitted in the light novel)#(that was a whole other level of him being right)#plus i'm older now so#i can now see and acknowledge that one of the reasons he rubbed me so wrong is that we'reactuallytoomuchalike#(don't tell my sis that she was right all those years ago XD)#so yes. he's not a fave but i've accepted him 😔#and he's still not a fave but i never thought i'd be invested the way the past two episodes made me#so props to whoever did that lmao#withoutwords
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I have a cold
#thankfully it isnt covid#but ironically i got it by going to the doctors office cause there was someone there SUPER sick#didnt really matter that i was wearing a mask and gloves#grrrrrrrrrr#but im hoping it passes quickly cause ive already got some signs that are worrying#so when they cut my spinal cord in that girst back surgery they introduced leukocytes into my spinal fluid#so i constantly present as viral meningitis#and my body has a hard time regulating my spinal cord fluid#so now any time i get any virus like a vold or flu or covid#my body has a really hard time regulating itself and my spinal fluid will start to put pressure on my brain#i end up with these odd aches at the base of my neck that kinda acts as my gauge to take it easy or let my doc know#because it can get out of control and begin to shut down my autonomic nervous system and i end up presenting like a stroke#and sometimes that also shuts off my breathing#ive ended up in a coma before for a week because i ended up with a cold#sooooo im obviously a little worried cause getting sick for me is dangerous#and im feeling that ache a bit at my neck so im making sure im not alone right now in case something happens#ughhhh very annoying on top of feeling yucky
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merthur love confession but make it river song style!!!
When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves. You don't expect a sunset to admire you back! And if I happen to find myself in any danger, let me tell you... the Doctor isn't stupid enough or sentimental enough and he is certainly not in love enough to find himself standing in it with me...
River is Merlin. Merlin is River. Arthur is the Doctor.
#River is the blueprint for dramatic love confessions that make your heart ache#obviously the word choice would be different but!!!#merlin already doubts his importance to arthur#now imagine merlin being held captive or smth and arthur (and maybe the Knights) showing up to rescue him#MEANWHILE MERLIN IS TAUNTING HIS CAPTOR THAT ARTHUR WOULD NEVER COME FOR HIM#hes just a lowly servant#the king might be his best friend but he's been told often enough Arthur does not feel the same much less anything more than that#and merlin is quite alright with just admiring his golden king in all his glory and wit and courage and burning love for his people#you wouldn't expect a sunrise to admire you back#he's as dark and endless as the night and whatever his existence may be worth its nothing in comparison to Arthur's#who's mere existence pushes merlin into the background like the night retreats to mske space for the sunrise#anyway#SOMEBODY'S DO SMTH WITH THIS#i need a semi love confession from merlin to an outsider and arthur listening in#merlin bbc#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#merthur#arthur pendragon
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can somebody please tell my cat that i am already in so much pain and his screaming and clawing at my face is not helping, actually
#i love this cat#but oh my god does he actually ruin my mental health like most days jdjxks#he's just. so terrible at night#and i already cant sleep#because i wake up to my bones aching#and it's so hard to go back to sleep#not mlm#dantes talking again
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i sure wish the four stars on sunday’s banner weren’t all ones that i’ve had e6 for literally forever but 🥲
#⟡ — kayleigh’s yapping#meanwhile the four stars on fugue’s banner i desperately want/need their eidolons 😭 h e l p#well i already have e6 yukong but i only have e0 gallagher and e0 misha 🫠#and i don’t really want/need fugue... i already have jiaoqiu... ughhh#ANYWAYS OKOKOK I PROMMY I AM GOING BACK TO BED NOW IT IS ALMOST 9AM AND I GOTTA BE UP AT 5PM FOR WORK#fingers crossed my everything feels significantly less dead and aching after some sleep 😂
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never volunteer to sleep on the couch in a house of 6 other people desi folk can never be quiet in their lives
#im extremely pissy rn and like. half of them didn't get back til 11 last night and woke me up for cookie dough#and kept asking if i wanted takeout when we'd already had a conversation about food and not wanting leftovers#and then i was woken up Again around 6 which is kinda standard cause my dad was just talking to my cousin around fajr#and tbf to him he left it dark and he was quiet#but i cannot Believe rn the most egregious offense is mum herself who normally respects my sleep but 😭#is discussing smth w my other cousin Loudly and sure its 9am but i just wanted those 5 extra mins :(#going to uni with a headache and back ache 😔 and my only class is in a weird hall w a slant that gives me vertigo#actually what really did it was alexa w the ring announcements at full volume every 3 seconds.
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I got tummy aches and trying to decide whether I simply skip out tomorrow or force myself to go.
#we got tues and weds off already possibly more depending on how much Milton destroys#idk I had cheese so that’s probably it but that was a long time ago and I haven’t hurt since this past hourish. tho I do just get aches all#the time 🤷#no clue when my therpay is back on either. let’s go now I’m way over a month since last appointment#it doesn’t change much but idk. it gives me smth to live up until usually#that sounds terrible but it’s just the truth. sorry#vent tag
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