#I actually really fuckin love how this came out ok

[justwhisperingfantasies]

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Characters: Reader. Jensen. Jared. Mac. Heather. Alex. Kyle. Mike.

Warnings: Language, Drinking, Heartbreak, Fluff, Angst, Couple Fighting. Rough Sex. Unprotected Sex [no just no] Breed Kink, P-I-V , Oral [both receiving] I think that's all if not lmk.

A/n: Sorry this one took forever and I'm sorry. Beginning is sad be prepared.

You guys are amazing. Seriously thank you for every heart, reblog, and comment. I love hearing your feedback. 🫶 Please do not copy my work.

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Special Thank You To: @copperboom82 Thank you beta-ing and listening to all my rambles. 🫶

Jensen

He pulled into the drive way, and parked beside Beau. He huffed, if this went bad, she would probably change his name.

He walked up to the porch, finding her siting on the porch steps.

“Hey, “He said lightly kicking the step her feet were on.

She scooted, giving him room to sit down.

“I can explain.” He took her silence as sign to continue. “She told me her dad was in the hospital. That he wasn’t going to make it. I felt bad, that’s why I stayed to talk, next thing I know she threw her arms around me.”

She stayed silent.

“There’s nothing.”

“So I got a call on my way home.” She cut him off.

He rolled his eyes, “Let me guess.”

“Yep, it was her. “ She sighed. “How did she get my number?”

“I don’t know… What did she say?”

“Oh ya know, how you couldn’t believe people actually thought we were married.”

“I never said that.”

“But you did talk to her that night, and you lied about it.”

“Yes, but I told you the truth.”

“After you lied.” She took a drink of her water. “She also told me y’all have been fuckin this whole time and how much you just loved fucking her in my cowboy hat.”

He scoffed a laugh, “Now you know that’s not true.”

She turned on the screen of her phone and handed it to him. White hot rage bubbled in his stomach as he saw a picture of Heather lying in his bed with y/n’s hat on.

“She sent 4 of different poses. You can scroll through them, if you’d like.”

“You don’t have to be a smartass.” He said handing her phone back.

She swiped and turned the phone back in his direction, “Oh and there’s this one. Of you, her, and some of your band mates, the night we met.”

“She came in, had a beer, and wished us good luck. That’s it.”

She swiped again “And one of you and her at the brewery. Which I just found has a co-owner.”

Jensen huffed, “I am been trying to buy her out since the divorce. She won’t budge.”

“And correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that what you wore fishing last Sunday?”

“Yes, she told me it was for the website, but it’s not like I’m holding her or sticking my tongue down her throat.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Yeah… So that makes it all ok?” Her voice cracked.

“I didn’t say that.”

The cicadas hummed as they sat there. Neither knowing what to say.

She wiped her eyes before the tears could fall. “She also said, that you told her that you hope I’m not pregnant with your kid.”

“That’s not fucking true. You can ask Jared,” He sighed. Kickoff the steps he got up and started to pace. “Why would I do half the shit I've done if I was fucking someone else, or if I didn't want a future with you?”

She stayed silent.

“And do you really think I’d cheat on you?”

“You cheated before…”

“That’s not fair.” He blinked back his tears.

“You really wanna talk about what’s fair right now?”

“Look, I know everything is all fucked up right now” He grabbed her hand and held it in both of his. “And you have more reasons to not trust me right now, but baby the things she said isn’t true.”

“Jensen..”

“Don’t. y/n don’t let her win.”

She stayed silent.

“This can't be over.”

She looked over at him, wiping the tears away from his cheek “I don’t want it to be, but how do we come back from this?”

Jensen

“Hey man,” Jared said as he sat down at the bar of the brewery

“J.P. what’s up bud?’ Jensen greeted, cracking a can of beer open and sliding it to Jared.

“Not much. How are you?”

Jensen opened another one for himself. “Eh, I’m hanging in there.”

“So, have you talked to y/n?”

“Not since Sunday,” Jensen said after taking a drink.

“It’s only been two days, just give it some time, man everything will work out.”

“You remember what I’ve told you about my luck right?!.”

“And what usually happens when I say i have a good feeling about something?”

Jensen rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Jensen lifted his head as he heard a car door, “Motherfucker.”

“Dude. Follow my lead.”

Jensen tilted his head with furrowed brows.

Jared pulled out his phone and began scrolling.

Reader

“Aw Jared.” Mac said as his name flashed on the radio screen.

“He’s probably with Jensen.” You reached for the ignore button, but Mac slapped away your hand and hit the green button

“Jay-rod!” She exclaimed. No answer. “Jared? Hello?”

New text message popped up on the screen.

Padalecki: Trust me. Don’t hang up. Please just listen. And please do not hold anything against us. We are just great actors I promise 😉 you know we love you.

You pulled into the nearest parking lot and pulled your e-brake. Mac turned the volume up.

“Hey! Heather!” Jared shouted

“You need to cut him off if he is happy to see me.”

“I’m just happy, now that y/n is gone we can finally have fun again.” Jared slurred.

Your jaw dropped.

You heard Jensen chuckle. “What are you doing here?”

“I just came to see how you were doing.”

“Better now.”

“I thought you’d be mad.” Heather’s voice got closer.

“Eh, I was at first, but I see why you did it.”

“Jared, can I talk to Jay for a minute?”

“Sure thing. I gotta piss anyway.”

You heard some ruckus and what sounded like a barstool slide across the floor.

Heather laughed. “You really need to cut him off.”

“He would have done that sober” Jensen chuckled again “So, What can I do for you darlin’?”

“Just acting.” Mac whispered as you grinded your teeth.

“Is it true? Did you guys really break up?”

“Yes, ma’am”

“Thank god.”

“Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Anything.”

“How’d you get the picture in her cowboy hat?” Jensen chuckled “Man she was so pissed.”

“Promise you won’t press charges?”

“Now, would I do that to you?” Jensen said in a flirty voice, making your jaw clench again.

“Well, I kinda broke into your house. I was just going to take pictures in your bed, but I saw the hat and I knew it wasn’t yours, so I figured why not.”

“You’re an evil genius, Heather.”

“I know.” she snickered. “Hey, have you heard anything? Is she pregnant?”

“No. she’s not. How the hell did you know about that?”

Heather laughed. “I watched her the night of the pop-up. Nobody goes to a bar and orders soda unless they are pregnant.”

“God, I forgot how damn clever you are.”

“So now that she is out of the way, maybe we could.”

You heard another round of ruckus. “Jensen you need to fix these floors dude.” Jared said in his drunk voice.

“Well i gotta get going.” Heather’s voice seemed farther.

“I’ll call you later.”

“Dude. Are you really going to call her later?” Jared asked in a normal voice.

“Fuck no.”

“Did you get anything good?”

“Yes. Please tell me you were recording that.”

“No, better. y/n?”

You bit the inside of your cheek, “Ow.” You said when Mac nudged your arm.

“Bonnie?”

“Yes, Sasquatch.”

“Did you hear it?” Jensen asked.

“Yes.”

“What did she say?”

“She just admitted that pretty much everything she said was a lie.” Mac told him.

“Not everything.” you mumbled.

“Hey there Mac.” Jared said.

“Hello boys.” Mac said using her Crowley impression, making you laugh,

“So y/n, what do you mean not everything?” Jensen asked

You sighed. “Can we talk about it later?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Reader

Your heart pounded as your finger loomed over his contact. “Come on ” you told yourself.

You hit the green button and brought the phone to your ear.

“Hey.” Jensen said as he answered.

“Hello Mr. Ackles.”

He chuckled. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better. How about you?”

“Same.”

“What are you doing?”

“Sitting on my couch. Having some scotch.”

“Mmmm scotch.”

“Did you take a test today?”

“Yeah.” You murmured

“Well I can tell by your enthusiasm that it was good news.” He huffed.

“I'm sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I don't know I just feel bad.”

“Well don't. We kinda knew it was a long shot anyway.”

“Yeah…” you sighed. “Still would of been kind of cool though.”

“Really? So you.” You heard the beep on his end. “Hey bab-” He stopped himself “Eh, y/n I gotta take this. Gimme a minute.”

“Sure.”

After a couple minutes you got antsy.

Y/n: Do you just want to call me back. Ackles: No. Y/n: Is everything ok? Ackles: Lawyer. Y/n: So I shouldn't be stealing your attention.😂 Ackles: Don't have to steal it. You always have it.

“I’m sorry.” Jensen said,

You jumped a little as his voice came through the speaker.

“You're fine. Is. Never mind not my business.”

“Frank and I, Frank is my lawyer. We have a meeting tomorrow with Heather and her lawyer.”

“Ah. I see.”

“Yes I'm gonna push her to let me buy her out.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“Let's just hope she does.” He huffed “So you wanna tell me what you meant earlier with that comment?”

“The not everything one?”

“Yep. That'd be the one.”

“Well I mean she didn't. She asked me why I never came to the brewery and I said I don't know. She said because Jensen couldn't have the 2 girls he was fucking in the same spot. I know now you weren't fucking her. But you didn't tell me about her co-owning the place and apparently always there.”

“Actually she hadn't even stepped a foot in it for a year, the day our pictures came out, boom there she was. That was the day the boys and I went fishing.”

“See I didn't know that. Maybe you should learn how to open up more.”

“And invite you into all this bullshit?”

“Yes, when you are in a relationship with someone their bullshit is your bullshit and yours, theirs. If I would of known about the brewery, she wouldn't have been able to use it against you.”

“I don't know, I just got scared. And then it felt like too much time had passed. Like I was hiding it.”

“But you were.”

He sighed. “Yeah.”

“And she did come see you the night we met, but I guess I can't hold that against you since we weren't technically together.” your phone beeped. “And now I'm getting another call.”

“Maybe you should of just came over.” he teased

You hit the red button as you read private caller. “I need to get my number changed.”

“Let me guess.”

“Yep. I ignored it.”

“Great, now she's calling me.”

You sighed. “She's always gonna be there isn't she?”

“Not if I can help it.”

Reader

“I can not believe you talked me into this shit.” you said walking through the doors of the honky tonk.

“Trust me, I'm just as surprised at you.” Mac laughed as you followed her to the bar. “Bar keep!” She pounded her first down getting the guys attention.

“Omg is that McKinley Jane?”

“Hey Kyle, How are you?”

“Good! Girl i haven’t seen you in months.” He turned toward you. “You must be y/n. I’m Kyle.” He stuck his hand out.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Alex is here somewhere.” He said turning back to Mac.

“You know Alex?” you asked

“Yep, I know Jensen and Jared too. Jensen and I went to school together.”

“Ah, so how big of a dork was he back then?”

Kyle chuckled. “Imagine the same guy with a baby face, no beard or shaggy hair. He’s always been a dork. Great guy though.”

You sighed. “Yeah.”

“So you guys want a beer? Or we have Jell-o shots tonight…”

“Give us one of each.” Mac told him. “Start a tab?” She said handing her i.d and credit card to him.

“You got it darlin’. What flavor?”

“Surprise us.”

“Hey gorgeous.” You heard Alex say as he wrapped his arms around Mac from behind. A faint sense of jealous hit you. “Hey there stud.”

You cleared your throat. Alex chuckled. “Hi y/n.”

“Oh. Hi.” You teased.

“The boys and I got a pool table in the back. Y’all wanna play?”

“If you mean kick the crap out of you let’s go,” Mac snickered.

“Thanks Kyle,” she shouted, handing you your beer. The two of you took your shots and handed for the back corner.

You and Mac followed Alex, the balls were racked and ready to go.

“So,” Alex said picking up a pool stick. “I call dibs on y/n’s partner.”

You laughed.

“Ha! I think the fuck not, bud.” Mac playful sneered.

“Did you really think that was going to work?” You asked him

Alex shrugged I thought I'd give it a shot.”

“She can't be that good.” A guy walked up beside you.

“I've known her most of my life and I've only seen her lose twice.” Mac explained. “The first time she was drunk off her ass, the second time.”

“He cheated.” You cut her off with a smile.

“Y/n, Mike. Mike y/n.” Alex introduced him. Mike nodded at you “Pleasure.”

“Same.” you told him. “Mac you break.”

“Why do you get to break?”,

“Did you rack them?”

“Yeah.”

“You know it's bad luck do break your own rack right?”

“Ok maybe you know your stuff. Doesn’t mean you're good.” Mike teased.

Mac took her shot. Nothing went in “you should of broke.” She told you shaking her head.

Mike swaggered over the the white ball. 1

He got 2 striped balls in, before missing a shot.

“Alright sweetheart. Let's see what you got.” He taunted, stepping back.

You strolled over to where the white ball was, sinking 4 balls in.

“Damn little lady.” Mike commented.

“I told ya.” Mac said

You lined up your next shot and your head dropped with a groan when you missed.

You walked over to the table and took a drink of your beer.

“Finally.” Alex teased

“So are you single?” Mike asked as stepped beside you.

“Um. Technically, but I’m really not.” you said as you watched Alex, he got 2 more balls in.

“Y/n!” You turned around finding Matt walking up to you.

“Well hello there.”

“How are you?”

“Good, you?”

“I'm good, where's Jensen at?” Matt asked

“Not sure”

“Shit! I forgot I'm sorry.”

“Your Jensen’s ex?” Mike blurted out.

His words were like a punch to the gut. You nodded, not being able to form words.

“Please don't tell him I hit on you.”

You rolled your eyes.

You and Mac looked up as your heard the commotion coming from the bar area.

“Wonder what that is...” Mac said looking at you

“I’m gonna go get another round.” Alex said. “I’ll let you guys know.”

“Oh, Grab some Jell-o shots too, baby.” Mac called after him.

“You’re up.”

Mac went over and lined up her shot, getting one ball in.

“Well I see why you always partner with y/n.” Mike teased Mac.

“Just shut up and shoot.” She joked back.

Mike got 2 balls in before he missed.

“You’re up Jaws.”

“Harty Har,” you said sarcastically. “I’ve never read that one before.”

You got the last 2 of your balls in, you line up the shot for the 8 when you heard his voice.

“I got next.” Jensen challenged.

You called your shot and made it in.

“I don’t know Jay, she’s pretty good.” Mike said.

“I’ve beat her before.”

“You cheated! And you had help from Steve.”

“Well come on cowgirl, show me what your made of.” He nodded to the empty table

“You’re on, Ackles.”

Jensen.

“So, what are we going to bet this time?” she asked as she started racking the balls.

“Hmm.. I could think of something.” He smirked as his eyebrows raised.

She rolled her eyes.

“I was talking about the next round, sweetheart.” he chuckled.

“Sure you were you perv,” she teased

“Better idea. If I win you have to come to the Dallas con this weekend.”

“Alright, And what do i get if I win?” She asked.

“I’ll take you to the Dallas con this weekend.”

She laughed, “Or…” she bit her lip as her eyes scanned him up and down.

“Alright, kettle.”

“Just shut up and break already,” she taunted.

He did sinking 2 of the solid balls.

“Damn, small balls again.”

“God, I forgot how much shit you talk when you play pool.”

She giggled as she lined up her shot.

“Yeah, but I can back up my shit talk,” she said after getting 3 balls in, making him laugh.

He lined up for a jump shot and got the ball he wanted in. “So can I darlin’.” He winked at her, he laughed again as she rolled her eyes. Jensen put 2 more balls in before missing a shot.

“Son of a bitch” She exclaimed.

“Alright, Dean calm down!” Jared said as he approached.

She let out a belly laugh. “That’s my man.”

“He has really pretty eyes.” Jared said in a high pitched voice.

“Oh my god! And those muscles.” y/n added.

“Oh and those bow legs.” Jared said as he started fanning himself.

“Alright! That’s enough,” Jensen groaned with pink cheeks.

“So, Bonnie you whooping his ass?”

“Not at the moment.” she walked around the talk “About to be though.”

“Less talkin’ more shootin’.” Jensen teased.

She stuck her tongue out at him, making him and Jared laugh.

They watched as she got 3 more balls in.

“Damn, Ackles, I think you’ve met you’re match.” Jared commented.

“I know.”

She cleared her throat when she got the last one of her balls in.

“Oh, look I’m down to the 8 ball, Jensen.”

“So much shit!” He chuckled, “Hold on, what did we settle on a bet?”

“I’m about to win and your going to change it now?”

“Were you serious?!”

“Guess you’ll have to play the game and find out.”

She called her 8-ball shot and missed.

“Wah-wah-Wah.” Jared teased her.

“Don’t you have a forest to go frolic in or something sasquatch?”

“Damnit.” She said when Jensen got his last 2 balls in.

“Which pocket you going for Jensen?” Jared asked.

“Top right.” He looked up at her, lined up his shot, and missed.

She called the 8 and made it in. She gasped. “Mac!” y/n ran over to her.

“Damn Ackles, I thought you had it,”

“Yeah, me too” He smiled as he watched them celebrate.

Reader.

“I know you threw the game.” as you approached him, playfully kicking his boot that was sticking out as he leaned on the pool table ankles crossed.

“You can’t prove it.”

“I don’t want to.”

His head lifted slightly as he laughed.

“So, how was your meeting today?” you asked standing in front of his long legs.

“Well, that’s actually why I’m here,” he sighed, “This place is for sale.”

Your jaw dropped. “So, what’s going to happen?”

“Well, since Heather and I couldn't come to an agreement. We are going to sell and spilt the offer.”

“No way!”

“Yea, It will be on the market, Friday.”

“And there’s nothing you can do?”

“Nope,” he looked down. “She won. That was the last thing she could take away from me.”

You placed you legs on either side of his and waddled over them, wrapping your arms around him. He sat his beer down and pulled you closer as his arms wrapped around your waist. You heard him inhale deeply as he nuzzled into the crook of you neck, sending shivers down your spine.

“Jensen, I’m sorry.”

“It will be ok, It’s just a brewery.”

“Just a brewery?! That place is your baby.”

“Well that’s two I’ve lost this week…”

“It’s my fault.”

“How in god’s name is any of this your fault?!” He reared his head back with bewilderment in his eyes.

“You were doing fine until I came along. Now everything is fucked up.”

“You didn’t fuck anything up sweetheart. She did.”

“But if it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t.”

He pressed his lips to yours, cutting off your words. He rested his forehead on yours.

“I wouldn’t trade this,” he gestured to the two of you, “for anything in the world.”

You pulled his lips back to yours, his hands gripped your ass and pulled you closing. Your lips parted your lips inviting his tongue. you heard a small groan as he rolled his tongue against yours.

His nose nuzzled yours when the kiss ended. “From now on you have to be completely honest, and stop shielding me from the bullshit. I’m a big girl. I can take it.”

“I promise.”

“I don’t care if I’m not gonna like it. Hiding it or lying about it is gonna make it so much worse.”

“I know.”

“Like for real Jensen Ross.”

“Wait.. Does that mean?!”

You nodded your head with a smile.

He gasped and you were off the ground in seconds, spinning around as your arms held on tight.

“Ok Jensen stop. Or I will throw up on you.”

He chuckled as he stopped spinning.

He kissed you again.

“You wanna put me down?”

“Nope.” He nuzzled your nose again.

“So you’re just gonna walk around like this?”

“Yep.”

“And how long do you really think that’s gonna last?” you asked

“For the rest of my life.”

Jensen

Somehow she managed to still kick her shoes off at his door, her lips never leaving his.

His fingers found her ass, he heard a small yelp against his lips as he lifted her off the ground.

He plopped down on the closest couch in the sitting room, He heard a light moan as her core bounced off his hardening bulge making it thrum.

Her fingers knocked his hat off as they twisted in his hair, she moaned into his mouth as she rolled her hips, making him do the same.

She broke the kiss, her fingers pulling at the hem of his shirt. He lifted his arms and leaned. Her eyes danced across his chest as she threw it behind her. He smiled, his hands gliding up her sides pushing her shirt up, Jensen threw it and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her chest to his face, kissing and nibbing at the exposed skin. He found his favorite spot. Although there wasn’t a mark there anymore there soon would be.

She inhaled sharply as he sucked and raked his teeth across her skin, just above her right breast.

“I should probably just get a tattoo of a hickey there, at this point.” She teased, making him chuckle.

“Don’t act like you don’t love it,” he said then raked his teeth against the sensitive skin again, making her whine.

His fingers found her bra clasp next. He watched as the cool air hardened her nipples as he pulled it off, Her hips began to roll as he flicked his tongue against one, kneading the other in his palm.

A growl left his lips as she quickened the paced of her hips, making his cock throb.

She kneeled on the floor in front of him, pulling his pants down once she got them unbuttoned.

He felt her hot breath on his cock, making it tingle.

Breaths turned into pants as he watched her pretty mouth wrap around his cock.

“Fuck baby.” He cried out as she slid down his shaft.

His head went foggy as hers started bobbing. Pulling her hair out of her face he twisted it around his hand. Her eyes flashed up to him, sending shivers all over his body. He noticed the tears well in her eyes as his cock hit the back of her throat. “Baby...” he whined again. She moaned, the humming vibrations making the tension start to build in his spine.

“Damn baby.” He said trying to catch his breath. She grinned as she stood up, unbuttoning and pulling down her jeans. She straddled him again after she kicked them off her ankles.

“Um excuse me?” he exclaimed.

“Get me back later,” She whispered “right now I want you inside me.” her words making his cock throb again. He grabbed her hips as she lined his tip to his entrance.

Her pussy enveloped him as she slid down, making them both moan, as his cock stretched her tight wet walls.

His fingers tightened on her hips as they started to rock, pleasure coursing through his veins.

Heavy pants and moans filled the room as her pace quickened, making her clench around him.

She leaned back, her hands on his thighs, moaning his name as he watched her tits bounce. Fuck she was so hot.

“Baby, I'm getting close,” he warned her with a groan.

“Jensen. “ She cried out as he walls clenched tighter.

“Babe. Babe,“ he said head foggy.

He felt her cum trickle down as her pussy squeezed him, making his balls tighten. He tried to buck her off , but she pushed back down.

“For real?” She nodded as her hips started to bounce again.

He wrapped his arms around her and went a loud grunt the tension released as his warm seed coated her walls.

His muscles relaxed, as she put her lips to his.

“I love you.” he said as her forehead rested on his

“I love you too.”

Reader.

You woke to the smell of burnt bacon as the smoke detector wailed. Pulling his t-shirt over your head you made your way to the kitchen

“Jensen?!” you yelled

“It’s fine, It’s fine. I just had the stove too high.”

“Are you sure? Where’s your fire extinguisher?”

“Not necessary,” He looked over at you, doing a double take as he noticed his shirt. His eyes scanned lower as he bit his lip. “Whatcha got on under that?”

“Can you focus on the food before you burn your house down?” you quipped pouring yourself a cup of coffee.

He flipped off the stove. “I’m done anyway, mouth.” he smiled as he swaggered over to you and too the mug out of your hands

“Um, haven’t we covered this already? Taking my coffee equals violence.”

He chuckled as he sat on the counter.

“Yes but speaking of mouths, I believe I owe you.”

You gasped as his arms caught you and tossed you up on the corner. His hand glided up your thighs as his lips captured yours.

Trailing kisses down your neck, he pulled the shirt up to your collar bone. You leaned back on your hands as his mouth moved down to your breast. His tongue swirled around your nipple as his fingertips found your clit, making you cry out his name.

He lifted your ass and scooted you back to the middle of the island, Spreading your legs his head dipped down “Baby,” you moaned as he ran his togue up and down your slick sending pleasure through your veins.

Finding your clit his tongue swirled around it as he slid 2 fingers inside you. You could feel the tension start to build as he started pumping his fingers making your walls clench around them.

“Fuck Jensen.” You moaned out as he curled his fingers, hitting the sweet spot just right.

He slammed his fingers deep. “You gonna come baby?”

“Yes.” you moaned as he slammed his fingers again.

“Come on then.” He flicked his tongue against your clit. “Let me feel it.”

The tension got tighter as his tongue lapped faster.

You shivered as your climax coursed through your veins, his fingers slowed as you pulsated around them. Grinning at you he grabbed your hips and pulled you back to the edge. He pressed his lips against yours.

“You know I love you right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good.”

He spun you around once you feet hit the floor, bending you over the counter.

Pulling his sweat pants down he unleashed his already hard cock, He pushed his t-shirt up your back, lining his tip up to your entrance

“Fuck.” He moaned as he pushed inside you, grabbing your ass as he stretched you again. “You good?”

You nodded, feeling a sting on your across your backside. He drew his hips back, making you moan his name as he slammed back into you. Pleasure started coursing through you again as his pace quickened, his fingertips so tight around your hips you swore you could feel the bruising start.

You could feel the tension start building, faster than it had before as your walls squeezed him.

“Oh. So close already?” he taunted

“Yeah baby, don’t stop.” You cried out as his hand dipped between you thighs, finding your clit.

His hips went even faster, bring the tension to it’s peak, You moaned his name as waves of orgasmic bliss course through you again,

“You gonna let me come inside again?”

“Yes.” you moaned, causing him to pound harder.

“Fuck.” he groaned as he pushed deep inside you, filling you with his hot pearly cum.

He spun you around again as you stood up, weaving his lips with yours as he pulled you against him.

Reader

“But babe, look at this one.” He picked up the phone off the display rack, “And it’s blue!”

“Jensen, I don’t need a new phone. Just a new number.”

“Howdy folks. Sorry about your wait. What can we do for you?”

“But, Its bigger than the one you have now.” Jensen protested.

You sighed. “Please ignore him. I don’t need a new phone.”

The sale associate’s eyes looked over to Jensen as he stepped beside you.

“Holy crap! You’re Jensen Ackles.” the young man gasped. “Oh my gosh I just love Supernatural, and you as Soldier Boy was just absolutely amazing. Oh! and Beau Arlen Just Ah.”

Jensen gave him a diffident smile and stuck out his hand “Nice to meet you…”

“Tony.”

“Tony!” Jensen repeated.

“What can I do for you sir?”

“We both need new numbers and she needs that phone over there.”

“No, I don’t.” Your argument fell on deaf ears as they ignored you.

“Alright, I just need your current phone number,” Tony said typing on his tablet as Jensen rattled it off. “And it looks like you are eligible for an upgrade. And if we were to add her line to your account you would get a discount on the phone. With the special we are running you would also get a free pair of air pods.”

“Absolutely Not Jensen!” you objected

He gave you a mischievous grin “Do that both with new numbers.”

“Alright, Let me go grab those. Did you want the pro max’s?”

“The biggest and the best.”

“This is ridiculous!” you said crossing your arms.

Jensen looked over at you poking the tip of tongue past his lips.

“Alright I will be right back.” He turned and went to the back.

“I’m paying for my phone and my line!”

“We'll see. “ He turned toward you

“We ain't seeing shit Ackles I'm telling you!” you growled turning to him.

“Oh you're telling me?” his hands slid onto your hips.

“Yes sir, I am,” You kept your arms crossed as he pulled you to him.

“You think you're big enough to be telling me?”

“Please I could take you”

“You think?” he chuckled. “Or should I bend your ass over again?”

Your eyes followed his as he looked at the table in front of you.

Your eyebrows rose as you hands slid up his chest. “I just might have to take up on that doll face.” You taunted as you stretched on your tip toes pressing your lips to his cheek.

““You missed.” He said pulling you back. Capturing your lips with his. Deepening the kiss as he hand grasped your hair.

Tony cleared his throat, startling you. “Um, Mr. Ackles?”

You cheeks got warm as Jensen chuckled.

“Sorry, she just can’t keep her hands off me.”

Your pursed your lips as your cheeks got warmer.

“We just got to out the sim cards in and get them set up. Do you need help moving your files and accounts?”

Jensen looked at you and you shook your head. “Nah, we got it.”

“Alright. And then are we terminating you service ma’am?” They both looked at you. “Since you are being added to his plan?”

You sighed. “I guess so.”

Tag List 🤍

@litpicks @muhahaha303 @mayafatimakhan @idk6505 @whimsyfinny

@nightxcreature @impala67rollingthroughtown @mariahoedt @manicjk @kr804573

@quietgirll75 @nancymcl @amberlthomas @hobby27 @deans-baby-momma

@perpetualabsurdity @redneckyachtclub @kamisobsessed @wonderland2022 @barnes70stark

@jackles010378 @foxyjwls007 @mqdhvtter @perpetualabsurdity @barnes70stark

@madebyhappymeals @deanwinchestersgirl8734 @deansimpalababy @mandee7 @roseblue373

@n-o-p-e-never @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @1313diana @lmg14 @spxideyver

@aand13b @phoenixqueen @amberlthomas @mochminnie @spnaquakindgdom

[imogenkol]

IMOGEN KOL - Star Wars (x) (x)

[empresskylo]

headcanons for the cod men if they found out you were a virgin... i promise this is not self indulgent 🫣

𝐜𝐨𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈; 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓; 𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 includes: ghost, price, soap, alejandro, konig, and gaz. afab!reader. female pet names used. reader refers to self as a woman.

GHOST *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ ok ok ok, he would have never thought he’d want to be specifically with a virgin. like it never really crossed his mind before now, but he just assumed he’d always like being with someone more experienced. he likes a quick hook up. doesn’t have the time to be all gentle and soft and caring for someone who's never done it before, ya know? not that he's an asshole or anything, but he never thought he'd be the right person to take someone's virginity.

♡ but when you tell him you’re a virgin, something stirs inside him. he doesn’t mind. not one bit. if anything, he actually gets a little giddy, wanting to be the one who shows you how it’s done.

♡ and he ends up being rather sweet about it. he goes slow. he takes his time. he spends a good amount of time prepping you. “jus’ lay back, sweetheart. gotta make sure you’re good n’ ready to take me.”

♡ when it finally comes down to it, he’s easy to edge into you. you grip his shoulders tightly, squeezing your eyes shut. “gotta talk to me, love. gotta know i’m not hurtin’ you.” you nod and look up at him. “i’m okay. keep going. please.” he kisses your lips and continues in. after a few painstaking moments, “alright. i’m halfway. jus’ a lil more.” “only halfway?! jesus fucking—“ ghost laughs, his hand caressing your face and tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. when he’s finally fully seated, he groans, fisting the sheets beside your head to keep himself from rutting into full force.

♡ “ah. you okay, pet?” “y-yes. are you all the way in?” “mhm” “okay. just… give me a moment.” “take your time, love. we got all night.” you let yourself adjust for several moments. “can you move, now?” he kisses you, slowly dragging himself halfway out and then pushing back into you, making you both gasp into each other’s mouths. "you're so fuckin' tight," he groans as he tries to take his time. he doesn't want to hurt you.

♡ and he knows the rumor that women don't usually orgasm their first time, so he wanted to make sure you came at least twice before he shoved his cock in you. he wants you to associate this with a positive experience.

♡ and he tries his hardest to make you feel good too. he begins to rub your clit as he thrusts and you moan loudly. he grins. "you like that, princess?" you nod your head vigorously. and sure enough, he's able to make you come around his cock and he swears that was some of the best sex of his life. it wasn't the fact that you were a virgin, it was the trust and the intimacy of it that made this so good for him. he never thought he'd care for things like that until now.

PRICE *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ price doesn't really mind either way, but he was definitely surprised when you told him -- he couldn't believe someone as beautiful as you had never slept with anyone. but he's honored that you'd trust him enough to experience that with him.

♡ he kisses you and lays you down on his bed, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. "jus' let me take care of you, love," he coos. you bite your lip and nod. he starts by going down on you, making you come on his tongue like he has before. then he's back above you, wanting your first time to be in missionary, making you as relaxed as possible.

♡ he even made it all sweet and lit some candles (":

♡ he constantly is getting consent and checking in on you. "you feelin' okay?" "jus' tell me to stop if you don't like it." "want me to keep goin'?" "tell me what you want, sweetheart." "this feels good, yeah?"

♡ when he's fully inside you, he strokes your hair and kisses you multiple times. "see, wasn't so bad," he teases gently.

♡ with price, it's really not awkward at all. he doesn't let it be. he's so sweet and considerate the whole time. when he's thrusting inside you, he checks to make sure he's not going too hard.

♡ and he knows the sex will only get better, so he tells you not to worry if you don't finish alongside him. and you don't finish with him, but he makes sure to get you off after.

♡ he holds himself inside you after he comes, grunting and panting above you. then he looks down at you. "i wanna feel you come on my cock, love." you look a bit confused and he starts rubbing your clit, keeping himself planted inside you. with the pressure of the situation over, you're much more relaxed and apt to orgasm. so it doesn't take you long to spasm around him, and he fucking loves it. "god, you feel amazing, princess." and he looks at you with such admiration as you catch your breath and come down from your high.

♡ "it will only get better from here," he teases.

♡ after he pulls out and gets up, he scoops you up too, making you squeal. he carries the two of you to the bathroom to shower and clean up. he washes your hair. helps you put your clothes on (making sure it's his stuff you're wearing) and pulls you into bed with him, his arm wrapped around you.

SOAP *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ johnny has no issue with it at all. he really thinks nothing of it. he didn't care if you were a virgin or not, so when you tell him, all it does is lets him know he needs to be a bit slower with you. and you truly appreciate him not making a big deal about it.

♡ it'd probably happen one time when you two are making out on the couch. things get a little heated and his hands are all over you. he gropes your breast through your shirt and you moan in his mouth. he pushes you back on the couch and teases your shirt up. "j-johnny," you say between kisses. "yes, lass?" "you remember i'm a virgin, right?" "mhm," he kisses you again. "did you want me t'stop?" "n-no," you whine as he rubs a hand over your clothed clit. "i just don't want to disappoint you." he looks at you in annoyance. "what? why would ya disappoint me?" he sees the shy look in your eyes like you're a bit ashamed. "lass, you could never disappoint me. i just want you. but if you don't wanna do anything, that's okay too." he kisses your nose and caresses the side of your face.

♡ with that out of the way, you tell him you do want to. he promises to go slow. and he does. he asks how you want it. you can ride him if that would make you more comfortable, being able to control the pace and all.

♡ you straddle him on the couch, soap's hands running all across your torso. squeezing and cupping your breast. gliding over your ribcage. going down to your ass and pulling you forward.

♡ you're slow when you lower yourself on him and johnny's head falls to the back of the couch, trying to contain himself. "you feel so good," he whines out.

♡ lots and lots of little praises. he wants to make sure you're comfortable and enjoying yourself. "that's it, love." "fuckin' hell, you’re takin’ me so well." "does it feel good?"

♡ and he'll rub your clit with his thumb, smiling as you collapse into him, your arms around his neck as you continue to bounce on top of him.

♡ you're definitely pleased when you orgasm around him, sending soap over the edge as well.

♡ then he kisses you, runs his hand through your hair, and pulls you into his lap where he'll tell you how good you were, how much he loved that. and he'll make sure you had a nice time too. wanting to make sure you feel good about yourself.

ALEJANDRO *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ gets a little bit of sick satisfaction knowing he’s going to have been the only one to have had you. “gettin’ you all for myself, then, mi amor?”

♡ even though he’s thoroughly enjoyed sex for years and has developed a taste for what he likes and dislikes, he’s charmed to be with someone who is so new at this. it’s a new experience for him in that sense.

♡ he definitely wants you comfortable before he tries anything, BUT, he goes absolutely fucking feral when he gets you to blush and act all shy and awkward. gets off embarrassing you. “you want me to fuck that tight little cunt of yours?” he says. your eyes widen and your cheeks get hot/flush. “a-alejandro” you whimper, a bit startled at his dirty mouth. “hmm? did you think my teasing stopped at the bedroom?” he winks.

♡ “tell me how you want it, mi amor. do you want my cock?” you nod sheepishly. “uh-uh,” he scolds. “gotta use your words.” you turn your face away from him in embarrassment. “yes.” “yes what?” “yes, i want your cock.” your entire body is on fire and alejandro grins madly. he never would have thought innocence would turn him on so much.

♡ but he’s really quite sweet in the moment. even though he does tease you quite a bit, he’s always reading your body and making sure he’s not hurting you and that you’re enjoying yourself. “just tell me if you want me to stop,” he says down at you. “okay?” he asks. you nod, “okay.” “esa es mi buena chica.” that’s my good girl.

♡ even though his is being careful, he can't help but get turned on when your nails are digging into his back and your face is scrunched up. "it's so much," you whimper out. that honestly sends him over the edge. he gets a little sense of pride knowing how intense everything was for you -- and for him.

♡ he makes sure you're not hurt once everything is done and he cleans you up and holds you close to him.

KÖNIG *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ you were a bit nervous to tell him, so you kinda waited until the last minute.

♡ könig had you pinned beneath him, leaving a trail of kisses along your neck, making you giggle. after he’s torn your clothes off and is back to attacking your lips, you break away to mumble at him. “i’ve… never done this before,” you said shyly. he looks at you, his eyes flickering between yours. “is this okay? do you want me to stop?” you shake your head. “no, no. i just wanted you to know.” he smiles and kisses you again.

♡ he’s okay with being your first, but it definitely makes him a bit nervous. he knows he’s going to have to be the one to take control of the situation, figuring you might be a bit shy/awkward and not know how to lead. but he’s okay with that.

♡ he also doesn’t want to hurt you. my guy is 6’7” so i mean… he’s got a big dick, i’m sure of it—he told me himself. he makes you orgasm like 4 times beforehand, absolutely tiring you out, but also making you relaxed and more ready for him.

♡ he’s planted between your legs and you're still panting from your last orgasm, and he lines himself up. “m’gonna go slow,” he tells you. you nod and he slowly enters you. your hands grip his shoulders tightly, already feeling the pressure of him stretching you out. (and even if you weren’t a virgin, it would still be like this tbh. size kink initiated)

♡ it takes a few minutes for him to bottom out. he does little half thrusts with only part of him inside you, trying to ease his way in. “i don’t think you can fit,” you whine out. “you can take it, liebling. jus’ a little—ungh—furtherrrrr—fuck,” he groans as he fills you completely. you’re whimpering under him, but mostly in pleasure.

♡ he catches his breath before asking you if he can move. you nod. he kisses your lips, mumbling against you, “i’ll be gentle.” he begins to rock into you.

♡ and he is. he’s slow and soft with you, mumbling praises. he tries his hardest to get you to give him another orgasm, rubbing your clit. you whine and squirm under him. you trust him so much that you’re actually relaxed enough to orgasm your first time with him.

♡ he’s stopped moving inside you so he can focus solely on rubbing your clit. finally, you clamp down on him and come. you’re so breathtakingly beautiful under him, squeezing him so fucking tight, that könig orgasms right then and there, without even having to move. both of you are a little shocked and you end up giggling.

♡ he lays on top of you, resting his head on your chest, his hands wrapped around you, while you stroke his hair. he leaves a little trail of kisses on your skin and you both lay there for a bit, content and entangled together.

GAZ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

♡ gaz is a bit baffled about what to do. like he gives off hot shit energy, but when you tell him he’d be your first, he gets flustered. he feels pressured to make sure it’s good since he will be your first impression of sex.

♡ you end up having to tell him to calm down. “kyle, oh my god, it’s fine! it doesn’t have to be perfect. i just want it to be with you.” and that definitely relaxes him a bit. he just doesn’t wanna ruin this for you. it’s actually quite sweet.

♡ he’s on the bed, on top of you, kissing you and slowly stripping both of your clothing. when you’re both in underwear he makes an offer. “did you wanna be on top, love?” you give him an unsure look. “idk, i'm not really sure what i’m doing,” you say shyly, playing with the chain around his neck as it dangles above you. gaz rolls over and takes you with him. “you don’t havta if you don’t wanna, but this way you get to control everything. because shit… idk how well i’m gonna be able to control myself once i’m in you.” your face goes red hot.

♡ you take him up on his offer and stay straddling him. you let him help you line yourself up with him and you sink down ever so slowly, gritting your teeth as you do. gaz has his hands on your hips, panting as you take him teasingly slow. “that’s it, baby,” he encourages.

♡ your hands rest on his chest, sitting slightly forward as you take your time sinking down all the way. once you’re fully seated, gaz let’s out a guttural grunt, his eyes squeezed shut, his voice strained, “fuck—yeah, good t-thing you’re leadin’ this because with how fuckin’ good ya feel, i'd be tempted to fuckin' plow right into you.” his words leave you slightly embarrassed. gaz opens his eyes and looks at you lovingly. “ugh, you’re a fuckin’ dream,” he groans.

♡ not only does his words make you more excited, but it makes you more confident. you begin to move up and down, putting your weight on your hands. gaz hands grip your hips tightly in his fingers, clawing at you as you ride him.

♡ after several minutes of this, he rolls you under him making you squeal. “i can’t hold back any longer,” he says as he slides out of you and thrusts back in. he definitely does it more powerfully than you were, but it doesn’t hurt. it feels good letting him do the work. he buries his head in your neck, “jus’ let me know if i’m going to fast.”

♡ it isn’t much longer until you’re squeezing around him, making him groan and grunt wildly. just hearing him like that, knowing it’s you causing it, has you spilling over the edge. the way you tighten around him sends him over the edge as well.

♡ you’re both panting as he lays beside you, pulling you into him. “jesus,” he murmurs. “i always thought it was supposed to kinda suck for women the first time,” you said. gaz looks down at you, running his fingers in your hair, and laughs. you both begin giggling, both ecstatic and feeling amazing. you’ve never felt closer to him in that moment.

♡ gaz couldn’t believe how good it felt to have you coming with him and he's so excited, he's rolling you under him, asking if you're ready for round two.

[thecapricunt1616]

Carmy X Nervous about a home birth

Let’s be so real here. If you told Carmy you wanted a home-birth - his first reaction would be 😦😰 - because with his mommy issues, the only way he feels as if he’s being a ‘good husband’ is if he is giving in to your every single need, and desire as a partner - and even more as the mother of his baby. But Mike, Nat, and Carm were born in a hospital - so the idea of not being around 40 doctors freaks him THE HELL out, but his Queen gets what she asks without a single question -- So of course his answer is ;

“However you think little bear wants to be brought into the world, Angel. I’ll get the best damn doula and midwife Chicago has to offer, hmm?” 

As he’s rubbing lotion into your swollen 5 month belly and giving it sweet gentle kisses. Whispering to your adorable bump and resting his ear to it, whispering “shhh- wait I think I heard them move!!” All excited, even if it was just the grumbles of your hungry pregnant tummy, he probably knew that, but had such high hopes for his little. 

(More BTC ❤️)

I genuinely think that Carmy would hold pregnancy and birth so close to his heart, because he would see it as the one single thing he literally could never provide - so the fact that you so willingly and openly offered your body, no matter the dangers it came with - to bare his child? He can hardly believe it and it makes him teary eyed every time he talks about your pregnancy because of the sacrifice he sees you making each and every second of every single day you’re carrying your little love to delivery. He can’t say

‘thank you’

and ‘I love you’ 

and ‘you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting’ enough throughout those 43 long and a lot of time grueling weeks of pregnancy as a first time mommy, making sure you knew and undertood jut how grateful and amazed he was with your body and mental perserverance. 

When the time came - holy shit. When you woke him up? At around 2:40AM poking his ribs being like “Bear?!!” While wincing at your very much more painful then Braxton hicks contractions. He just gave you a lazy-ass ‘mmmph’ 

But as soon as you said “He’s coming, like- today- like now, Bear, he's really actually coming” he leaps into action.

He grabs his phone off the charger with quickness, rushes into the living room of your 3 bed house- holding his phone to his ear with his shoulder as he sprints through your yard in nothing but boxer briefs, hauling the long ass garden hose he bought exactly for this through the window as the phone continues to ring.

When it goes to voicemail? He’s PANICKING !! He’s whisper shouting into the mic 

“SHES IN LABOR. THIS IS CARMY FUCKIN BEAR. DO YOU HEAR ME??? THIS KID IS ON HIS FUCKIN WAY OUT. GET YOUR ASS HERE DO I PAY YOU TO NOT ANSWER ME? FUCKIN'HELL!!!!”

Hes rapidly hanging up and calling again over and over as he chucks wet washcloths in the freezer and drops to his knees in front of the couch trying to fill the birthing yoga ball with the pump as fast as he can. The midwife answers and is like 

“SHE BETTER BE FUCKING CROWNING ARE YOU STUPID MY RINGTONE WAS SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME THIS BABY WAS BEING DEL-“

and Carmy is like

“NOW. NOW. NOW. SHE SAYS SHES 8 MINUTES APART. GET YOUR ASS HERE. NOW. WHAT THE FUCK DO I PAY YOU FOR, LINDA??”  as he’s throwing the electric pump to the side out of frustration and using a fucking bike pump to fill your yoga ball so you could bounce on it like all the labor books said.

Meanwhile you’re in the bedroom, groaning and moaning, just absolutely miserable. Hearing your husband shouting at your doula before calling the midwife and saying 

“What the fuck do I do, Sara?! Sara she’s- she’s nearly fucking crying!! What do I- oh. Ok. Ok. Yup. Heard. Heard. Ok. Mmhmm- ok. Promise? Ok. See you then” and he’s right back in your room, rubbing your back as you contract and groan just whispering as he massages your pressure points to help get the baby down that he learned in birthing class, cooing 

“That’s it- mmhmm- good girl, let it all out beautiful, I know it hurts- but You’re doing such a good job with y’breathing princess. I’m gonna put this cold cloth on your forehead, yeah? It’ll help you feel nice and cool, and relaxed, pretty girl” like he explains every single thing he’s doing, before he does it. 

Whenever you have an extra big contraction, he's grunting with you and easing you through it like they taught him in the classes, adding the pressure to your back to counteract the incredible pain you felt every single time it washed over you whining and sobbing to Carmys chest "I- I can't- oh god- Bear, somethings wrong!!! Hurts so bad, so fucking bad- please!! Please let me I need to go to the hospital!! Somethings wrong B-Bear! This pain c-can't be normal"

He shook his head and rubbed your back soothingly, telling you the whole time to listen to him talk, and how it hurts so bad, and joking 'f'course my son would give his mommy a hard time huh? Sug said the same thing, Berzatto kids are brutal. Shoulda told you before I got you knocked up, huh?" his forehead rested on yours and rubbing your spasming back muscles soothingly.

“That was a big one huh? That means he should be coming soon huh? My strong beautiful angel - you’re almost there princess- a few more pushes and he’s gonna be in our arms. You’re so fucking amazing-“ he encourages, gently rubbing your belly that had dropped lower then you'd ever seen. You were on your knees in the bath, forehead to forehead with Carm. He carefully sat in front of you on his own knees.

"Alright one more- alright? Just one big push, yeah?" he echos your midwife, ever so carefully letting your belly go and resting his hands below to catch his little guy. You look at him nervously, sniffling and whimpering nervously.

"Wh-what if I can't, Carm? What if hes t-too big or- or-" he cuts you off by kissing your lips lovingly.

"You, You? Baby? Shhhh, shush, princess- Listen t'me- you're made f'this, mm? You're the strongest woman i've ever met. So focus, focus, princess. Listen t'my voice. I'll count you out, baby. Only 10 seconds ok? Push as hard as you can, ready?"

He sticks his hands in the water, cradling you close and kissing your cheek and temple and contains for you through the energy sucking push. When you rest back, second 5, sobbing

“I- I can’t do it- he feels stuck- I can’t do it Carm, i'm so sorry. I failed us. I’m sorry I failed our baby” 

And he’s just shushing you into your skin, 

“Shhhhh, shhhhhh- let’s breathe, mm? Together. It’s just you, an’me. Ok? Don’t even think about him, princess. They told us, as long as you breathe he's gonna come out, easy as pie, hmm? So let’s breathe, yeah? Princess? Breathe him out, just in, and out, force all that air out as hard as you can like they taught us, remember baby? see-” he holds your hands, kissing them and demonstrating big grunting strong breaths for you to copy and of course you did. 

When it got to the point your contractions were a minute apart, Thanks to him, in 2 more big grunting pushes your little boy was born. When you were in transition Carmy sat outside the pool, knelt and pressed forehead to forehead, whispering to you through every contraction how your little boy was almost here, and how he could never repay you ever for the gift that was his birth.

By the time you were begging on your knees in the bath to stop pushing because it was "too hard" , Carmy knew from what they explained in birthing class that meant -- it was time.

So he coaxed you through three more huge pushes. Even though you told him each time ‘I can’t do it, please, Bear. He’s not ready- I can’t.” But he rubbed your back and told you how amazing you were and to just try, and assured that if your little man wasn’t ready they’d send you home, and that he was right there ready to catch your son and lift him on to your chest.

And after your third other worldly push, you couldn’t even put in to words, the amount of energy it took out of you. It was harder then you’d ever pushed in your life for anything. - but of course the little guy was scream wailing just like any other Berzatto would. 

You couldn’t stop choke sobbing as the baby wailed and Carmy kept muttering ‘you did it! You fuckin’ did it, princess. He’s so beautiful. Look at him! He’s perfect. 10 fingers 10 toes- hear those lungs, angel? He’s perfect” as he rested the pretty little cub on your chest.

You would just look at him amazed, by instinct guiding him to your breast to pacify him and watching as the nurses usher Carmy out of the way and you would reach out, hooking your hands together so he couldn't get too far away.

“Alright Momma! Congrats, now let’s deliver this placenta in 3 pushes that’s the magic number. So when I say 3 you’ll- oop!” The nurses gasp as they look down “lucky! You’re lucky! Alright mommy never mind. No tears, and your body went ahead and did that work for ya! Alright momma, here we go here’s your placenta” the nurse pulls it out of the water and you nearly gag at the look of it 

“Get that thing away from my baby! Keep it in the bowl!” You demand, holding him to your skin and cradling his head, you had told yourself you would do a delayed cord cutting, but you in no way wanted your baby to be next to that... thing - it just freaked you out.

“that is nasty! Disgusting” you sniffle, looking back at your little angel who was peacefully suckling off your breast. 

“Oh- sweetheart” one of the nurses giggles, putting it in a biohazard bag. “Are you sure- didn’t you say your baby’s father is a chef? Sweetheart, this will boost your milk production - it’s giving you all the vitamins you lost while pregnant. Are you sure?” 

*cut to Carmy actually gagging at the nurses American horror story ass tactics while you're like 'what am i, a CAT?!??!"

And the nurse is like “BABY!! Every other animal does it!! You said holistic is best!!! Alright I guess I'll toss it if it bugs you that much..” 

[ajdrawshq]

did the gods just fucking die.

oct2path has become real.........

[ayy-junipei]

Why You Should Watch Bang Brave Bang Bravern

An essay by Junipei while they wait for they friends to come online so we can watch episode 3. Some spoilers for episode 1-2 I guess

Reason 1 - It be Nefarious

Ok so let me tell you how I came to actually watch this show. I have a friend who does one of those seasonal anime review podcast things and I was basically helping man go through the bottom of the barrel. Things that were either going to be cute for an episode before its gimmick ran into the ground or just straight up trash. I was the emotional support Juni.

So we boot up Bang Brave Bang Bravern knowing only that it's a generic mecha show with a fucked up name and a bromance thrown in for fun. That's what we thought

THAT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT

We thought things were getting interesting when the aliens showed up. Ok it's not just a gritty anime it's a Pacific Rim Top Gun thing, ok, that's more interesting than what we thought, that's fine.

AND THEN BRAVERN SHOWS UP.

AND WE REALISE THIS ISN'T JUST A GRITTY REALISTIC MECHA. IT GOT COLLIDED WITH A FUCKIN SUPER ROBOT SHOW FROM THE 70s.

I have not had my jaw this dropped since episode 1 of Code Geass. We were played like fiddles bro.

So we watch episode 2, wondering where the hell its going to go from there. IT GOES TO-

Reason 2 - Robot Gay Hell

As a person who enjoys human sized people kissing 10ft tall death machines, I have been starved my entire life. I take what I can get.

So imagine my surprise when the show sets up that Bravern is head over heels in love with his pilot Isami. So much so that he refuses to let anyone else get in that cockpit. Wahey!

It has mostly been played for a joke, that's the one single downside. That's not very sustainable. BUT I am very curious to see where it goes. This leads into-

Reason 3 - Something is UP my Dudes

If the carefully planned bait and switch says anything, it's that the show has a lot more planned up it sleeve. And you see that in allmost every scene. Bravern and the one-dimensional aliens creates a massive tonal dissonance with the original part of the show.

You see, the realistic gritty mecha bit is still playing out like a realistic gritty mecha. Our boy Isami gets waterboarded by the CIA for any info he has on Bravern. Things don't magically get better after Bravern saves the main cast, the Earth is going to shit real fast.

So if you think of Bravern and the aliens in the context of the more realistic part of the show, shit is mighty sus. Are you really going to take man's word that he's a hero here to defeat the bad guys?

It could turn darker, it could turn spicy, or it could sustain the show past the "gimmick turns stale real quick" problem anime has these days.

If you've made it this far good job soldier, now get out there and make me some gott damnged robot yaoi. I HAVE STARVED FOR 20 YEARS FOR THIS CONTENT. GIVE IT- GIVE IT OT ME NOW

[trashy-tries-writing]

Hiii its me again 🍄 anon! And i got more ideas for Ravine writing!

Ok so what if like we have a scenario where maybe Ravine gets caught off guard, like someone unexpectedly came up from behind him(I honestly doubt that would actually happen but just for the sake if the post lets just say it happens) and Ravine's first instinct/reaction is to grab whoever's behind him and throw them over his shoulder (WWE style-) then proceeds to almost blow there head off with whatever firearm on him at the time.

If it wasn't for whoever got bodied to snap Ravine out of it there would have been a blood soak floor. When said person gets up they ask him what that was about and as per usual, Ravine says nothing but just stares at them before walking away.

I just think it would be funny seeing people like Ghost and Price get bodied/thrown around like it was nothing. And honestly seeing König get decommissioned in seconds would be hilarious! He's probably so used to being feared by everyone/being build like a fuckin truck that having someone casually just flip him would probably throw him for a loop.

Anyways thanks for listening to my dumb rambling again! Ravine always makes me feel better! This is 🍄 anon and ill see you next time!

Also Ravine could do that to me and i would fuckin thank him-

Watching Young Justice League- (or the crash course bc I can’t find full ep.) and realizing they skipped so much stuff. Maybe I should’ve started with comics instead of a TV series. Anyone have recommendations for someone who’s just getting into DC? (I already have like- a character that turns from a normal boy into a meta-human into the moon- I meAN WHAT- Too much fun with angst. I swear I try to write fluff, I swear I am. XD)

Also Spiderman??? So much angst on top of angst on top of angst- Like "Spider-man: No Way Home- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?? PETER MY CHILD OMG 😭 Fuck that I'm gonna make a character where the magic didn't work on him. Fuck u Marvel for making every Spider-man sad 😭 (Anyone wanna read that? 👀👀)

Hi hi 🍄 Anon👋, thank you so much for sharing this because I had so much fun! XD And it's not dumb I love your rambles! Let's just say that it was on a day where Ravine was thinking of the past. Problem solved😌 I hope you enjoy this and see you around 🍄 Anon👋💕 Omg same– WHAT WHO SAID THAT! Also merry christmas everybody! Hope you’re having a wonderful holiday! 💕

He didn’t mean to, he really didn’t. But that didn’t stop his reflexes from working faster than his brain. Ravine should’ve known to stay inside if he was going to be taken over with his thoughts.

Simon Ghost Riley

Ghost had been walking around the base for too long, just trying to find the giant of a man. How is it possible to not know where someone that big was? It’s not like he can hide with his size.

Or can he?

He has a feeling that Ravine can do so much more than he has already shown TF 141, and Ghost was eager to know when that would be.

Ghost blinks when he sees Ravine’s slouched body leaving the weapon room, a box under his arm with mechanical parts sticking out if and his attention stuck to the papers in his other hand.

Of course he would be working on something.

When was he not?

But Ravine was so deeply rooted inside his head, he wasn’t reading the documents or even looking at it correctly when he felt it.

Someone was behind him.

Someone-

Ravine feels his skin crawl, his mind playing tricks on him and-

Ghost feels gravity leaving him as Ravine yanks him over his shoulder. With his vision upside down, a silent gasp leaves his mouth. The air gets knocked out of his lungs as he lays on the cold ground with his hand in Ravine’s tight grip, his eyes swimming.

“Argh! Ravine, it's me!”

CRASH

Ravine drops everything as he falls to his knee, hands now softly brushing over Ghost as he sits up. He groans as he leans back on Ravine’s bent knee. Ravine twitches at the contact before lightly placing his hand on his hurt shoulder.

Ghost tilts his head towards Ravine’s chest, he can almost hear his heart beating out of his ribcage from guilt as he tries to catch his breath from being thrown around.

Despite the situation and the physical ache, Ghost finds Ravine’s reactions hilarious. (Don’t tell anyone that.)

Ravine doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know where to put his other hand as it lingers around Ghost who’s clenching and unclenching his fist, testing if it’s sprained or not by the firm grip Ravine had it a few seconds ago.

Ravine wants to leave, walk away as if he didn’t just hurt his teammate because of his wild instincts.

"What was that-"

Ghost’s shoulder aches and he blinks at the hand mark slowly forming on his wrist.

“-Bloody hell…”

Ravine tenses.

Ravine lifts Ghost up with ease, a little too much ease to the latter's taste as he hurries through the mess of fallen mechanical parts and loose documents.

He calmly walks through the base, getting Gaz and Soap’s attention as they pass the lounge. Gaz’s eyes widen while the water leaks out from Soap’s gaping mouth onto his shirt.

“What- Was that- Did…???”

“Ravine carrying Ghost? Yep definitely was them.”

Price could only stare as Ravine barges into his office with Ghost looking a little too comfortable in his arms as if he could take a nap right there and then.

The captain pulls his lips into a thin line, slowly slurping from his coffee mug as he squints his eyes at them.

“Let me guess…”

“Yes.”

“Oh boy.”

Ravine looks down at Ghost who’s leaning his head further into his chest, secretly enjoying the situation and then at Price who stares as if it’s a normal Tuesday.

Later they get told by the doctor that Ghost’s shoulder is injured due to being almost pulled out of his sockets and his wrist was now branded with Ravine’s hand for who knows how many days- weeks even.

Ravine couldn’t face Ghost for weeks- months if it wasn’t for Ghost and Price cornering him like they did the day Ghost met Ravine for the first time.

Ghost has a sense of déjà-vu.

(Sometimes brushes his hand over the purple-bluish bruise and compares his hand size with Ravines.)

John Price

It happened while they were still getting to know each other in the early days when Price found him inside that… room.

He knew he had to tread carefully with the burning man. He was like a wounded animal, cornered with nowhere to escape with his fangs bared at anything that breathed too loudly or at all.

But Price believed they had crossed over that line as Ravine didn’t react when he had to sit down in a room full of people or inside the tiny car he had to fit in to go on missions. (Price voiced out how too soon it was to send Ravine anywhere. But orders were orders.)

Ravine didn’t react to anything at all anymore. A perfect weap- soldier as Shepard liked to call him.

And so when they arrived back to base after another successful mission with Ravine making it so much easier with his fast killing and stealth, Price had only wanted to praise him for his good work.

But maybe, just maybe it wasn’t a smart idea to suddenly come up from behind him right after a tense operation-

Since Price found himself on the ground, his body having been flipped into the air like he weighed nothing as he landed with a loud ‘BANG’ echoing off the walls and on the ground.

Laswell gasped in surprise, jumping from her seat as Ravine took a step back as if realizing now what he had just done.

The gun that he had pulled out from his holster was now lowered instantly. Ravine’s body was tense, freezing still in his spot.

Price gets back on his feet, leaning slightly onto Laswell as he groans, trying to downplay the situation for Ravine.

“Shiiiiiit… You sure know how to use that strength of yours., don't you?"

Silence takes over the room before Ravine vanishes from his sight, quickly marching away from them with nothing to say. It makes Price sigh loudly.

Laswell chuckles underneath her breath. “Well that was a sight.”

“Will not happen again, so enjoy it while it lasts.” Price breathes out, hands on his hips as he bends his back forward with pain. “Damn it, I need to see the medic…I think I broke something.”

He ends up with bruised skin on his back, even fractured bones that puts him out of commission.

Price eyes the doctor, “...Well I’ll be damned.”

Price never thought that he would end up getting slammed into the ground like the enemies Ravine sometimes threw over his shoulder. Luckily for him Ravine didn’t use as much force as he did with them as they were directly knocked out of their consciousness...and then shot to death.

‘Now where is…’

It took a few months for him to finally get a real conversation with Ravine.

König

He shouldn’t be feeling like this, he really shouldn’t. But König continues to scream into his head, cheeks flared up with his thoughts stuck from the earlier occurrences.

König leaves the training facility, a towel draped over his shoulders as he makes his way to the showers to relax his muscles from the workout. Soon enough his stomach rumbles and he changes his mind of going back to his room to relax.

Rounding the corner, he sees Ravine staring through the window, his arms crossed over his chest, making his back muscle tense.

Feeling a little confident to try talking to the soldier who was just as tall as him, sticking out like a sore thumb in the team with… shorter people, König approaches the quiet man with a small smile.

“Hey Ravine.”

Surprised that the man didn’t react like he usually would when called, König tilts his head as he reaches a hand out.

“Rav-?”

A startled yelp escapes his lips, the world tilts and he finds himself staring at the swinging lights hanging from the ceiling. His body twitches uncomfortable and aches in pain as confusion swims in his eyes.

With his breath knocked out of him, shock taking over mentally and physically as Ravine slowly releases his steel grip, König tries to choke out something but he could only gasp. 

“…W-Was..?” -…W-What..?

Pain radiates through his left side but as König sees Ravine’s body loom over him, pressure withdrawn from his stomach and arms, and the realization that he had been so easily decommissioned in seconds, has left a new kind of warmth rushing through him.

König slowly rises to his feet, hand shooting up to rub his shoulder. The man stares confused when Ravine is now checking him over with what he guesses is worry, since there isn’t much to find out with his face covered and the silence in his throat.

“I-I’m fine, you just took me by surprise.”

Ravine brushes his fingers over the bruise forming on König’s wrist and König doesn’t know why he suddenly felt he should leave.

“Don’t worry, it’s fine. I er- I’m going to eat now. Yeah…now.”

However, with his food sitting in front of him, fork in hand, König stares silently in front of him, confusing his teammates in the dining hall and creeping others with his unblinking eyes. And just as quietly as he came he robotically goes back to his room.

That’s when he flops down on his bed, face pushed into his pillow, his face reddening when the situation with Ravine finally hits him.

Ravine had swung him over his shoulder like nothing and had pressed his knee down on his stomach, keeping him in place with his arms over his head with a grip that left handprints on him that were bruising.

König was used to being feared and manhandling others- others as in targets to eliminate- but being tossed around like a toy by someone else is-

‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-’

Both were evading the other’s presence without the other’s knowledge until they were put back together for a mission.

-----------------------------------------------

@livinglifebesticanlol @jackiebluh @cumbermovels @agspgrwasb

I hope you enjoyed this! If anyone has any other imagine, scenarios, headcanon, etc. Feel free to send it to me, I love reading what you guys have in mind ❤️

[louisjude]

I feel like atp even if there were plans to make bvddie canon theyre gone now. if tim minear is even half as petty as I am he would see that reaction and go u know what fuck you u actually don't get what you want now cause ur acting so goddamn entitled. like when tarlos fans got mad about the deleted scenes instead of appreciating them being released and his reaction was to say "okay fine then I just won't release deleted scenes anymore" (like I'm sure it was mostly a marketing decision but part of me thinks they intentionally released a scene about bucktommy just to prove a point.) idk man it's just really upsetting as a bi man to see the absolutely vile shit bvddie stans are saying and even tho I love the ship I now never want it to go canon cause they've fuckin ruined it

hey anon, at first let me agree with the fact that i do in fact also love bvddie a lot and i still love reading fics for them, the edits of them are fantastic and the fanart is S tier. it’s a great pairing with a lot of potential there IF the writers decided to ever go there but…

huge answer below

yeah, i agree. i honestly think before tommy was introduced again in 7x03 and the kiss in 7x04 that in my brain, bvddie was the most logical endgame for buck until it wasn’t.

i came into the show shipping bvddie much like a lot of new fans to the show but instead of hopping onto the tommy anti express hate train i found myself falling in love with buck and tommy together. at first i was still on board with bvddie still being endgame but as each episode aired after 7x04 i became faced with the reality of the situation (at least the way i see it) that bvddie might always be fanon and that’s ok because fandom keeps ships alive whether they’re canon or not. some of the biggest ships EVER are non-canon (i mean, cmon spirk? one of the OG MM ships?) so it didn’t really deter me from enjoying bvddie to this day. what HAS deterred me from interacting with bvddie content is toxic bvddies. i don’t like using the lil nicknames, idc if other ppl do, whatever, but i prefer just referring to certain kinds as just toxic plain and simple.

toxic shippers have made it difficult for anyone who multiships to interact with bvddie content. while there are incredibly nice & welcoming bvddie endgamers out there, it doesn’t overshadow the hateful ones in my online experience at least. i’ve blocked so many ppl over this ship discourse, which ive never had to do with any other fandom before the extent i have with 911. everyday i still find new ppl to block, you go under almost any comment section on the 911 insta and its filled with nasty comments abt tommy and only caring abt whether bvddie will be canon in s8. people projecting their hatred of tommy/lou onto the cast/crew of the show when it’s be said and proven time and time again that it’s quite the opposite. now im certain there’s bad apples in the bucktommy side as well, but from what ive seen online so far it is not nearly to the caliber of the bvddie side. ive blocked maybe a handful of bucktommy’s for being hateful towards eddie or being toxic overall, but ive probably blocked over 100+ toxic bvddies. i can only imagine it’d be worse if i was active on 911 twt which i’m not (thank god) but i have ventured into the tags before on there and let me tell you, it’s fucking horrifying how gross ppl are over there. twt is a cesspool for fandom anyways tho, the fucking asshole of fandom, it’s a septic tank really.

now im my own opinion which could be completely untrue of course, but just basing my thoughts on what i’ve seen online and interviews and such, tim seems to be really happy about bucktommy and idk how ppl believe otherwise. tim has expressed he loves LFJ and wanted him back on the show. tim showed up on set for the kiss scene. tim posting an entire youtube vibe abt bucktommy being soulmates that touches on the invisible string theory and explains how they accidentally found buck’s perfect match. tim sharing the deleted tommy scene is also huge but im waiting to see if he releases more (because i remember seen somewhere that he said there’d be more?) and if he does then great but it’s also still pretty telling to me after the whole karaoke fiasco.

oliver has said nothing but praises towards buck’s queer storyline. he quite literally said if you dont like it then watch something else. despite ppl saying he’s never interacted with bucktommy content online, that’s a lie because he has liked fanart of them.

aisha, kenneth & tracie have all expressed how they like tommy/lou and love working with him.

jlh said she loved bvddie before but is excited to see where buck and tommy go and then on an insta live said she doesn’t think bvddie is happening and was bombarded by toxic fans to the point of ending the live early.

ppl think it’s all some ruse to make it seem like bvddie is never happening so when it does happen it’s a “surprise” ……..

the nasty hate comments are doing nothing but exposing these types of ppl for who they are and that honestly to them, 911 is just the bvddie show to them. the people who run these social media accs for 911 are looking at these comments and cringing, they aren’t running to tim and abc being like “we must give these crazies what they want!” they’re mostly likely being ignored or honestly, as you said, being looked at and just reinforcing their decision to most likely make tommy buck’s endgame so as long as his schedule is open for filming.

what gets me the most about the hate these types of shippers spew online is how they aren’t embarrassed because they are so sooo convinced they will be right one day and therefore their insane, nasty behavior online will be justified. oliver stark literally left twt because of fans like this, people act like he was joking around, that he was shooting the shit probably because “he’s british and british people just have that kind of humor” which yes to a certain extent but let me just add these posts to set an example to why if oliver were still on twt he absolutely would not be happy with the way toxic bvddies are acting right now.

oliver (and ryan&other cast too) being positive abt bvddie never meant it was going to be canon of become canon one day. they do not decide these things, whether they believe it should or not. a lot of bvddie shippers come from previous fandoms where queerbaiting was there, where they were made fun of by actors of their ships, by the creators of the show! so i understand the frustration but oliver is not queerbaiting and buck is not a queerbait character when he quite literally is now confirmed bisexual and in a relationship with a man.

he’s just not the “correct” queer to these people. despite headcanons (hell even i hc eddie as queer!!) eddie so far, in canon, is not queer. by the end s7 he is still shown to not be over shannon and ruins his relationship with his son over this. ryan has stated in interviews he sees eddie as heterosexual, possibly pushing this because of the influx of ship discourse, and he’s glad to see a vulnerable and deep friendship that buck and eddie can have as a straight man and a queer man and how important he thinks it is.

every single thing that points to bvddie never going canon is like they’re being shot point blank in the chest. i get it, your ship not becoming canon sucks, but again, that is what fandom is for! shipping has never been about how canon smth is, there is 20k fics out there for bvddie and they aren’t canon. they can turn that into 40k, 100k, 1M if they really wanted to! instead they use their time and energy posting death threats, wishing death upon a gay character, bullying ppl online for enjoying a ship.

meanwhile from what ive seen bucktommys are rolling with goofy ass spy tommy theories created by antis and making jokes for our own fun.

so yes, i agree overall. they truly don’t deserve what they think they do. we didn’t whine and scream for a deleted scene. they did. we got ours without even expecting it and are having fun.

maybe if they behaved better i wouldn’t be so petty abt it. it’s a shame because of how much potential it has, unfortunately it is just not going that way atm. and even if it does one day, it is not because they paraded online with hate, it is because that’s the story tim and the others wanted to write and abc approved it.

🫳🎤

[mandy-asimp]

Wait ok here's the plot to the story (I bet other people have thought of this is a very generic plot) but I won't ever write it because I just wouldn't want to try and figure out butt stuff😭

Uhh proceed with the warnings that there's corse language, very light smut, some fluff, and then some😚

but it starts when they're in the teachers lounge and Jacob mentions Goldilocks and what not and melissa goes "if a girl broke into my house ate my food and slept in my bed, yeah id eat her ass." Or whatever.

so reader, you, is a fucking comedian or whatever so later that night you do exactly that! You quite literally break into Melissa Schemmenti's house!

And so she wakes up once she registers the smell of her leftovers from dinner, and that woman knows her cooking in one whiff. So you though leave the small eaten plate and dance around her, knowing the lay out from the few times you had been over.

Let me clear here though you guys are friends, not close but comfortable. And with a woman like her you obviously caught feels, hence why your breaking in trying to get her to eat your ass.

This was honestly insane if you asked anyone else, you could've easily told her how you felt but this was another way I guess🤷‍♀️

so after managing to get your way up into her room, you had another number planned inside your honestly brilliantly scheme. You untie your black sneaky coat and think Sabrina Carpenter tour outfits. You're basically in one of those cute pieces or whatever you find on Pinterest to help see the vision (it's what I do for everything).

you then crawl to the middle of her bed and wait patiently for her to finish searching her entire home. And when she does she's shocked to see you in her bed. "Hun, what the fuck?!" She shook her head in disbelief. Who wouldn't, you broke in.

Now you're a bold person in this story. You don't back down easily and you get mostly everything you want by your own way. Ava loved you when you mentioned how good you were at it. It's why she hired you, in return you have to do a few things here and there.

Anyways though you look at her and you tell her you wanted to see if she would.

"Would what?"

"Eat the girls ass if she broke in, ate your food, and slept in your bed."

She was dumbfounded in that moment. What the fuck? Was she dreaming? You could see the blankness and decided to fix that. You slipped from the bed, letting her see you in that outfit you chose and so that's when shit clicks.

Y'all are kissin'.

Touchin'.

Basically fuckin'.

And then she does. She eats your ass. And she likes it. And I mean she really likes it. And fuck so do you cus if your reading this knowing it's about butt stuff you gotta either be curious or into it and I guess since I'm writing this a part of me has to be if I'm writing it so actually-

Anyways so you both really fucking like it and it's not until she's fucking you in the ass with a strap. Her fingers reaching around you and fucking you there. Her palm bumping your clit, oooh child you were feeling this. And you guys went for a good minute too like she fucked you like a slut you were for her and same really like same.

So the next morning, she wakes you with soft kisses to your face, completely contrasting the woman she was the night before. "How are you feeling, baby?"

You were confused as to when you went from hun to baby but you assumed it was sometime after you blissed out. "Goldilocks never stood a chance." You groaned, yet your arms slipped around her bare waist and you hurried your head into her chest.

"Well, maybe you'll double think breaking into people's homes."

Your head came back up, "first of all this is the first house I've broken into. I just got lucky the bear was you."

"Yeah, but next time maybe just ring the doorbell instead of making me search my entire home."

"Awfully a lot of complaining for someone who was saying they just couldn't get enough of me last night." You softly laughed under her.

Her eyes narrowed down for a second. "We have work in a few hours. Do you need to go home and get something to wear?" She changed the topic.

"No, as planned I have a bag in my car. I'm very good with making sure things go as planned if you couldn't tell yet." Your lips curled into a cocky smirk.

That morning you both spent together spinning around and getting ready. Passing kisses to bare skin as you left putting on anything more than a bra and underwear till the very end. Neither of you could keep your hands to yourselves. Not after...

To end it, nobody at work had noticed your slight hobble as they were too busy focused on the volunteers.

Another bonus is Deandra had tried to put one single move on you at the end of the day Friday and Melissa had pulled you away almost instantly, throwing the excuse that you had a dinner date to get to together. It ended up being your first date and it's a so forth story😋

[oneforthemunny]

evieee i’m feeling soft and mushy and i had a thought... what was the eddies’ “oh. OH.” moment, like the exact moment they realized that reader was it for them and they actually wanted to marry reader :') i mean i know some eddies are not into the idea of marriage but that’s fine! but what about the others :') (also ily MWA)

omg this is so cute (ily2 mwahhh!)

so older!eddie you can actually read his because it’s the moment in don’t be cruel where they’re both with brielle and reader is just so happy and getting along with her and they’re actually getting along. that’s the first time he’s like yes i could marry her, i want to spend the rest of my life with her.

mafia!eddie it’s definitely after one of his more vulnerable moments. maybe after a particularly draining day when he lets the mask fall, so to say, and is open about how emotionally draining what he does is. the way she validates it and listens, tells him she doesn’t think less and just stands by him and supports. he’s looking at rings that next day.

boxer!eddie there’s an angst blurb with him about how he’s using steroids (found in vivis writing challenge masterlist) and the aftermath of that, when he sees how much she really cares and how passionate she is about him and his health and career. that’s really when he’s like, “damn. she does love me. and i really want to be with her forever.”

dom!eddie’s is definitely super simple and sweet, pretty early on too. they’re out listening to a band play somewhere, and she’s just all over him- very publically and unashamed. it’s not her usual scene but she goes for eddie. they’re both a little tipsy and he’s just absolutely love struck. feels like he wants to do everything and anything with her.

cowboy!eddie it would be the first time she came to one of his competitions. he told her not to come, didn’t want her to travel and move things around just for him, but she did anyways. didn’t tell him, just showed up and surprised him. it really meant a lot, and he’d tell her that much later, because normally he’d just say not to come bc no one ever showed up even if he asked. a defense mechanism for him really. so when she did it just meant the world to him and he wanted her to show up for everything for the rest of his life.

rockstar!eddie it was in nantucket. set after dark shadows when they take their trip to the summer house on the east coast. there was feelings there before with both of them, but they were still trying to fight them and hide them but this is where things change and they decide to try and date. but a specific moment would be during the fourth of july. there’s a firework show on the docks, eddie stands out from all the others clad in ralph lauren and linens and nb couldn’t love it more (such a stark contrast from the first meeting lol). it’s really mundane and something just flips and all eddies feelings come out and he’s just like ok i want to be with her.

janitor!eddie’s is really early on, really cutesy and simple. shortly after they start dating. his birthday, the first they celebrate together. she goes all out, gets steve’s help in planning a party at the hideout with all his friends. “even tried to reserve a room, munson. like we have a fuckin’ private room.” the owner cackled and told him. she got his favorite cake, even a gift, and he was so overwhelmed with affection and love and just was in love.

hockey!eddie it was pretty early on honestly. during the start of the season, their first together. he’s bummed because he’s out of town for halloween, his favorite holiday, and won’t get to celebrate. she flies out and surprises him, books a stay at a hotel for the holiday as a long weekend and the two go out. brings a costume (a special festive lingerie too for later) and they go out after eddie’s game to a bar that’s celebrating the holiday, they come back and spend the next day watching the halloween movie marathon on tv, splitting a bag of candy. just so casual and sweet, but eddie is head over heels.

modern!eddie, i mean he’s in love from the first moment lol but honestly, when she’s vulnerable with him. when she’s soft and shows a side of herself to him that feels so personal and special to see. he feels just overwhelmed and special to get to see it and is in love.

bouncer!eddie it’s so dumb but it’s true i’m sorry, and it’s the first time she lets him cum inside lmao. he’s been in love before but like she let him creampie her??? he’s never felt more connected and in love ever. genuinely. he’s so obsessed after that just infatuated.

[oh-no-its-bird]

TORA AU TIME YES ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN !!!

Ok so first, quoting this from a previous tora au post:

Personal take here: I don't think Itachi likes being in charge! That boy is a born, built, and bred shinobi who follows what he is told to a perfect T, no matter how blatantly horrifically awful the order is! Even if hates it with all of his heart! He'll still fucking do it! And then only blame himself for it and not the guy who fucking ordered it! Because he'll still obey that guy after! Which also adds another fun layer of irony bc hes supposed to be clan head one day! To me, Itachi is a fascinating subject of having an unshakable, unbreakable iron will— and also having absoloutley no spine To be fair tho was also like. Fuckin 13. He was fucked up and was tricked at a very, very young age and unfortunatley that one mistake came to chain him to that one specific way of thinking. If he came to grow out of that way of thinking, he'd first have to admit he'd made a mistake, which wasn't gonna happen bc it was too late for regrets. But anyways: With Tora here Itachi has another "voice of reason" to help steer him away from other voices who might otherwise bind him. There isn't as much pressure on only him + Shisui to here and now choose what they (and only they) will choose to do to save the entire clan or Konoha Tora is a natural leader and quick to take charge, and Itachi is ok with that. When Itachi chooses to speak, he is listened to carefully and his opinions are taken seriously, which is all he can ask for tbh. Otherwise he's allowed to sit there and look pretty till given a nice, neatly wrapped plan approved by 2 people he can really, truly trust. So he's doing a bit better mentally than canon Anyways, in this AU I think Itachi should actually get to semi-retire as a shinobi and actually Sasuke gets to be clan head bc his brother ain't built for it. Plus it can play more into the stuff I was talking ab earlier about Sasuke struggling a lot more than those around him to learn different stuff (sealing especially) only to come out as one of the most terrifying in what he eventually masters. Let the second son inherit!! Let Sasuke have a defining character moment where he decides he wants to help guide the clan, and he's forced to kind of get over his brother worship to confront Itachi to say he doesn't think he'd make the best clan head. And Itachi let's out this sigh of relief he did not know he has been holding for his entire life and tells Sasuke he's proud of him.

With that in mind ^

I think the ultimate ironic pairing for the finale of the Tora AU would be Tora and Itachi ending up together, but with Itachi as the retired ninja housewife and Tora the big boi breadwinner

The ultimate fuck you twist call back to all Tora's parents talk of Tora needing to find a "good man to take care of you" + irony from them originally cheering Tora on when they learned he and itachi were friends bc they thought he'd snag him as a husband and the culmination of Itachi's "I don't really want to be in charge actually" arc

I love a full circle !!

Sasuke is Itachi's best man and Shisui is Tora's and Kakashi gets to walk Tora down the isle instead of his parents who he has no real attachment to

Actually POV I fucking kill off the Haruno's and Tora and Sakura have to deal w the death of their parents, who they both had very complicated relationships with but relationships nonetheless

Mmm I kinda like that, putting that in my back pocket for now

I honestly don't even know how the romance would happen, tbh I'm not the biggest romance fan but I just love the progression of it in the narrative. I think it'd be a cool end to their story, I'll sweat the little details later

Maybe they aren't even in love fr fr

Oh my god wait no hear me out

HEAR ME OUT

Itachi getting out of being clan head via marrying Tora. Don't ask me how this works. They aren't even like in love or anything but Itachi is using Tora as a political shield to fuck off and enjoy his housewife retirement actually.

Tora is similarly using this for one of his infamous political plots somehow, it's all part of his master plan and as usual itachi is just happy to go along for the ride

,,,the perfect queer platonic besties end to their arc ,, I love it this is my new ideal endgame

Sasuke drops that he's gonna fight Itachi to be clan head and Itachi one ups him by going "oh cool. Guess I don't need to marry Tora then."

Queue Sasuke spit take "You don't need to WHAT"

"Yeah we were gonna get married as part of a 10 step plan to help Tora take over the clan council + get me out of being clan head by abusing some old laws Tora found."

"??????????"

"I guess I'll tell Tora we don't need to do it anymore. I'm happy for you, little brother."

"???????????????????"

Anyways yeah, thinking ab tora au again.

I just finished re-reading my vault fic chapter for it and am having Thoughts(tm)

[iviorienne]

His loss and ruin.

Angel x sibling reader

๑ | synopsis: after a few years in hell, angel met a certain demon that he thought he could actually trust. Angel did actually fell for him, sadly, kindness nor love was a thing in hell, so he became more ruined and broken. Until a certain gambling demon came for his rescue.

๑ | tw : cursing, panick attack, abuse will be mentioned, blood, gore, death will be also be mentioned.

๑ | a/n : a part two from " my little sunshine " ig? HAHA I just watched HH ep 4 or 5 just right now and it just booster my motivation to write a second part of that one HEHE hope y'all liked it! ~

" My little sunshine "

Master list

After the chaos occured on Valentino's studio and his very first heated argument with husk, angel ran off to a strip club to blow off some steam, but Satan must be hating on him somehow to bring husk to his tail and be his 'little-shining-armor' and caused more chaos.

" husk, what the actual fuck you are doin' here? " angel groaned as he struggled against his hold.

" let go off me! " he tried to pulled his arms back but fails miserably when husk tightened his hold to him and proceeds to push him away from the club.

" no, I'm takin' you back to the hotel. " husks gruff voice grumbled behind him.

" gett- off! " he groaned as he kicked his legs back trying to push him away to his relief, husk finally let go of his arms. Angel dusted off non-existent dust off of himself as husker gave him a frustrated look.

" that fucker put somethin' on yer drink. " angel glared at him.

" you don't think I can't tell when someone spikes my drink?! " he snapped as he run his fingers to his hair " I do this all fuckin' time! " he continues as husk gave him a look of disbelief.

" you just let people drug you all the time? "

More anger and frustration bubbled to angels chest, the bottle is in the verge of exploding.

Angel snapped his body to husks direction as his hands were in front of him, indicating his distress and frustrations.

" you think I ask for it? ! " he snapped, catching husk off guard. " I don't ask any of this shit! "His hands flew above from his head as more of his bottled emotions pour out.

" I didn't ask to be this way. " he turned back to him as husk stared at him.

" I didn't ask for you Charlie to save me, " he pointed at Huskers chest as he stepped away.

" I didn't asked for you to save me. " he pointed more to his chest, there nose were barely touching.

" I can handle myself. " he huffed pointing at himself " really? Because I just see someone self-distructing. " husked snapped back pointing back at angel's chest which angel leaned away. Husker pauses before continuing.

" it's seems like-- " just turned away " I don't know.. " he shook his head. Husker turned back again to face angel as he shrugged awkwardly " it seems like you need a bartender to talk too. " angel laughed at he placed his hand to hide forehead.

" oh, so— " he flew his hands again to his side as he chuckled. " now you're going to act like you give shit about me? " he places one of his hand to his hip.

" you think after how you treated me—" he quirkee a brow a him, pointing at him " I'm going to open up to you? Please. " he huffed as he opens his arms again dramatically as he turned away ready to walk out of this, and this conversation before he breaks more.

" maybe I would treat you better if you you were real, " more anger filled angels nerves as unwanted memories flew back to his mind. From the start where he was alive. Where he was still with you.

Anthony came back home late again with more bruises on his neck, his body was swaying as he stumbled to his steps when his eyes landed on you.

You were seated in front of the door with your arms and legs crossed.

He wondered, why we're yous till awake.

" anth. "

Anthonh breath out before cracking up a wobbly smile as he leaves ok the door frame " heya sunshine. " he shot and finger guns at you, but your expression remains the same and clearly unfazed.

He gulped, " why- why are you still awake? It's in the middle of the night.. " he stumbled up on his step as he walked towards your direction.

" oh I don't know, maybe because I was waiting for my idiot, stupid of a brother to come home and actually eat with me in the nights and sleep together and cuddle like he promised? " you quirked a brow at him as you stand up from your seat.

He gulped once again, " oooh.. " he breathe to his teeth as he sighed and gave you an apologetic look. " I'm sorry sunshine.. For- not being able to eat dinner with you.. It's just- "

" work has been very tougher lately and you/i can't afford to leave early. " you rolled your eyes, perfectly synchronizing with him which he gave you a shock look before letting out a breathless laugh.

" well- wow. " he coughed out.

" anth.. " you sighed frustratedly as you walked towards him " I know you, we're literally siblings. I know you from head to toe and you're like an open book to me. "

You stared up at him with a frown, he looked completely nervous, making you sigh as he averted eye contact again.

" I know when soemthin's up or not, and I can tell that work has not been only tough, but rough for ya too. And don't think I can't see the bruises anth, I can literally see the dried blood on 'yer nose. " you squinted an eye at him which he flinched when you noticed this.

He sighed as he slumped before chuckling.

" I just can't hide anythin' from ya, aight sunshine? "He cocked his head to the side.

" bitch, I've been with your for years, what did ya expect? " you chuckled when you felt a stinging pain on your forehead.

" hey! Language. " he pouted.

" Italian and english? " you sarcastically replied.

" Gesù Cristo, sei una minaccia, " he chuckled as he shook his head ruffling your hair.

" hey! Watch it! I just groomed that! " you groaned. But giggling afterwards, he too started to chuckle as the both of you shared a heart laugh.

Once the both of you calmed down, a soft from were on your face again as you sighed.

" I just don't want'cha to hide things from me anth.. You've been there for me ,and I wanna be there for ya too, so please just cut the act ok? " you dropped your head softly to his chest as you lazily hang your arms around his waist.

" I don't want to see you silently suffer so please, " you tilted your head to meet his troubled face.

" don't be afraid to lend me 'yer troubles ok? "

Angel stared at you for a moment before sighing as he hugged you with his other hand on your head.

" what can I do? I can't say no ta that eyes sugar. " he softly laughed as you smiled brightly at him.

" good, now let's eat! "

Angel felt tears swelled up upon his eyes at the memory as his heart pounded, he the lump of his throat thickens as he listened more to husk.

" and not some bullshit version of yourself, ways pushin' my boundaries. " husks scoffed as he watched angel walked away from him. This grew more frustration for husk.

" lemme tell ya, nobody in that hotel cares who you are! " he snapped as he swung his hand to his side. " how famous, how hot. "

" so you might as well just cut the act. " angel stopped from his tracks. With that single sentence, he finally snapped.

" anth.. We talked a bout this, I told you to not be afraid of lending me your troubles. If I were to loose my life just ta have you to open up then sure I'd fuckin' bet my life on that. " you sighed dramatically as angel shot you a look for swearing but you ignored it " like I've said, I've been with you for years, I can literally see through that mask that you're in trouble. So please just drop the act, ok? "

Your voice rang onto his mind as his mind finally went blank, emotions finally exploding.

" IT'S NOT AN ACT! " he snapped turning around to face husk again, tears were threatening to fall from his eyes. Husk was once again, shocked as he finally see his walls breaking down.

" it's who I need to be.. " he hugged himself as he averted his eyes.

" and this— " his hand flew above his head " this is my escape " escape from everything,escape from val, escape from the memory,the memory of you dying into his arms. He smiled but it was strained and tensed.

" where I can forget about it all! " he turned again stumbling as he leaned into the clubs wall for support. An image of you dead in his arms flashed into his mind again.

" h-how much I hate-! " himself, he hated himself for for not being able to save you from that night. " everything! " he continued.

" a place where I can get high, and not have to think how much it hurts. " he clutched his chest. He wondered, what would you think if you saw him now, would you still care for him? Love him? Would you still see him as an older brother?

" and maybe.. " he pushes himself off of the wall as he places his hands on the side of his head as he looked down on his foot. " I can ruin myself enough in the process, " his hands slowly went limp to his side.

" if I end up broken, I won't be his favorite you any more and.. I wont have to remember that fuckin' night where she died right into my arms. " his voice shook as he shook his head trying to shove away the memory of you slowly going limp into his arms.

Angel sat on the side walk, hugging his legs into his chest.

" and maybe he'll let me go.. And maybe.. And just maybe.. I might get actually redeemed and see her again. "

Husk looked down at the spider demon sadly, he wondered who's she he was talking about. But he figured that it must be someone from the day he was life, deciding not to push it, husk sat down beside him.

Husk sighed heavily as he started, " I was an overload once you know." Husk started. Angel turned his head to look at him to see if he was lying.

Husk met his eyes before smiling awkwardly.

" yeah.. And uh.. " he trailed " it's was nice to have that power, but when your dealing with souls, while Also being a gambler, the stakes are pretty high. And loosing a few more hands can be more than a little dangerous, so when you're down on you luck, you turn into anything to..keep you afloa even making deals yourself. So I know what is like to.. Regret the choices made and.. " he pauses for long before starting again. " knowin' ya can't take it back. " he finishes, a thickening silent envelopes them before angel broke it.

" I..." He trailed as he stared at the puddle infront of him " had a little sister. " husk perked up at the mention of this before turning to look at angel,

' so that was the "she" he was talking about. ' husk thought. He remains silent and listened further.

" she was my everything, my source of light, my little sunshine. " angel smiled sadly, husks eyes widened a little to see him talking so sweety about someone, but it was a relative anyways so of course he'd talk sweetly about it. But it was new to see angel dust being like that.

" our parents were never good, so we eventually ran away from home once I turned 18,she was 16 back then. " he pauses before continuing " her name is Y/N, Y/N is.. Someone ya should not mess with, the girl was like a tiger on loose when mad. " he chuckled dryly " but overall that chaotic personality, she was the sweetest sugar you'd eva' picked, a delicate little flower. " he sighed as he stared into the distance.

" back then, I was very secretive, hidin' my outside doins from her, comin' home late and neva' eaten dinners with her, no cuddles night and such... " he sighed before continuing " she confronted me once about that, but.. I choose to hide things from her again, till one night. I caught myself in a bad deal and stole bunch'a drugs and money.. And that stupidity of mine caused her life. " he tests finally pour into his eyes as he let out a little sob.

" I watched-... Husk i watched her.. Died right in my eyes! " he panted as he turned to the feline who had his eyes wide at the information he was getting. " and.. Right into my arms. " angel hugged himself tighter.

" so that's why.. I did everything.. Everything to ruin myself more.. Just to get that wipe off of my mind, to forget- her hands slowly let go of my hand.. Her eyes running out of life.. That- little sad smile she held even dying. " he cried, shoulders were shaking as he sobbed, husk sighed as he placed a hand ok angels shoulder and pats it.

" everyday.. Everytime, I regretted not coming home early, I regretted not spending enough time with her, I regretted for not listenin' to her.. If I could turn back the time.. If I had a second chance to be with her.. I'll.. I'll be a better brother this time. " he sobbed.

Husk was silent, trying to look a better words to ease up the spider demon, he let out a heavy sigh before smiling lightly.

" well , I never known the gal but.. I'm sure she forgives ya. " he started as he watched angel tears up.

" you did fucked up big time but.. " he pauses as he stand up and walked in front of angel.

" I'm sure the gal still see's you the bestest brother she eva' had. You did took care of her once the both of ya left yer parents house, so the little gal must be waitin for ya up there. " husk smiled at him before holding out his hand, angel smiles before wiping off his tears and accepted his hands pulling himself up.

"... Thanks.. For.. Listening. " angel awkwardly rubbed his arms as husk shrugs.

" told ya you could need a bartender to talk. " the both of them chuckled when the clubs door busted open and saw them.

" THERE THEY ARE, FUCKING GET THEM! "

I'm the heavens, on your room, your hands fiddled with the necklace on your neck as you stared off into the distance.

Suddenly your nose itch making you sneeze, you rubbed your nose as you sniffle groaning a bit.

" to who ever the fuck talkin about me, I hope you bit your tongue. " you groaned.

After the little massacre happened, angel and husker were covered in blood as the two happily walked their way back on the hotel when angel suddenly bit his tongue.

" OW- FUCK-"

[iridescentdove]

can you do a continuation of full power Lumine with Fyodor, Sigma, and Ranpo. I feel like Fyodor would interested because of how complicated she is and how he would have a hard time understanding something for the for the first time I’m assuming. Same goes for Ranpo. I think he would be exiting too because the traveler is always willing to help and his type is someone that spoils him. For Sigma I feel like he would understand her in a way because he is a supernatural being that came into existence under interesting circumstances. And he would have someone to help him because we all know how the Decay Of Angels is I would also feel unsafe 24/7 😭

feel free to take your time if you have a lot of requests! (this was longer than I anticipated)

Fyodor, Sigma & Ranpo x Lumine! Reader

Hi! ♡ I'm quickly zooming through requests to make up for the time lost in my absence lol. Lumine is skeptical but shares the same curiosity her twin has for everything, she's rational and courageous, along with being generous and helpful towards others that need assistance. And most especially, rather beautiful and somewhat quiet, yet considered rather expressive.

As if a primordial being – Lumine holds power able to destroy worlds and travel through them with ease, and yet, most of it having been sealed away by the Unknown God's own bidding. What happens when she regains her full power and travels through the world of BSD?

Soukoku, Jouno & Atsushi Ver.

FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY:

You're a strange new specimen, and he actually finds interest in you. Plus – Fyodor actually likes pretty people, so seeing you for the first time is actually surprising.

Who knew someone so beautiful in this world existed 🗿

But honestly, although this man can read you like book if he wanted to, that's not happening.

You're rather complicated. Like no fr. You're pretty and small as hell, but you're so fucking strong hello? And you're not very talkative yet so expressionable it's alluring

He has no idea what to think, but all he knows is that he wants to keep you around.

The fact you're helpful draws him to you more. He learns to trust you overtime, and you have no ulterior motives when you go warm him up and make him feel comfortable.

Whenever he needs help or basically just you spoiling him and comforting from his anemia, that's cloud 9 ok idfc

He's starting to really ... really like you and I don't

You're basically everything he'd want tbh. Since you're from a different world, his ability probably don't work on you.

And just be glad it doesn't honestly. You're like God level strong and rather smart yourself, so he isn't bored and actually finds you worthy of being with him.

Well even if you weren't, you'd be an interesting playtoy on it's own. Please let me punch him already.

He'll have you run errands and do different things to go according to his plans, but he doesn't tire you out or anything because he still pretty much cares.

BRO this guy reminds me of the Fatui idk 💀

Dude is fuckin unhinged, commits warcrimes, hot and is very strong. You can't tell me he's literally the emobidiment of the harbingers in an alternate world lmfao

Even though he's a red flag you don't really care 'cause you can kill him whenever you want. Slayyy girlboss.

One of the rare times he'd take his ushanka off, and put it on your head because you're just too adorable to resist. The innocent, curious look on your face afterwards sends him.

You're a cute, complicated being he's just addicted to.

He's rather amused himself – so whenever you're like beating up Dazai or something (much to his satisfaction), he's watching in the back with his popcorn or sumn.

Probably smirking the entire time. He loves you more now

Imagine Dazai being Childe and that weekly boss you always fucking destroy every week? Peak comedy.

He probably won't even bother trying to fight against you, man knows his place so he gets humbled. But that probably won't stop him from testing you a few times.

He'll purposely get you in a tricky situation so he can observe more of you, and you'll never fail to surpass his expectations every time.

P.S. expect yourself to beat up Nikolai often. His orders lol

Rat king's actually found his match <3 fuck you

RANPO EDOGAWA:

You probably crash landed in the agency or smth. How would I know that?

I'm the writer, bitch /hjq

Now let's say both of you were just acquaintances at first, you'd help around the agency a lot though. And that also includes him.

So here we are! At this point, you're basically just spoiling him from all the help that you give.

He doesn't even mind he fucking loves it I bet

Other than Atsushi, he now drags you with him to go and buy candy, or just makes you go out and do it yourself. Either way the candy is bought so 🤷🏻

Dw babe he shares it with you <3

Must I say you're pretty once more? It's not even annoying bro I am SPEAKING FACTS stan lumine

Ranpo is very interested in you and your specie, if he ever got bored he'd probably take breaks away from doing some cases and listens to your talking.

Will get extremely invested in the world of Teyvat, learning more about it.

DON'T TELL HIM ABOUT HEIZOU

"Hehe! Number one detective you say? Even more so than I am~? After all, I am the greatest detective in the world!"

We get it babe.

Like if you ever honestly tried to put them both together in Poe's book it is very obvious who will come out first. Bro will legit rub it in your face too, not even cap

Oh, speaking of which – he'd probably invite you into one of them too. It would be a fun hangout ... maybe.

You're the bodyguard that fucks up any murderer tryna get to him while he deals with the shit and puts his glasses on then DAMN BITCH we boutta go usain bolt on this shit.

It doesn't even take that long. You guys did it in a heartbeat.

Ranpo honestly adores you, that much you can tell. He likes mostly everything about you and finds you so entertaining.

Especially your expressions which are peak comedy.

Definitely the type to do something real smart and show off his skills so he could see your reaction.

And maybe even get a bit of praise. You know this guy loves it when you compliment him and agree with things that he says. That's already fulfilling his heart.

I'd say you'd help him out a lot honestly, the ADA is basically the adventurers guild 💀

You'd be relaxing and having a chill time until Ranpo or some other member comes up and tells you to fucking beat up Mori or something

Yeah. They entrust it all to your capable hands.

But of course, Ranpo wouldn't leave you alone with that. You both make great teamwork in all cases.

Right after each remotely easy to borderline difficult case, Ranpo will be a sweetheart and take you out somewhere nice to relax. His treat.

kisses in the ferris wheel pls

It's already easy enough to tell, but you can see all the affection in his eyes as the night comes to an end once more. More than that, even.

It's such a cute sight. But honestly, who could even say no to this guy? It's literally Ranpo.

SIGMA:

So here you've already been in the world of bsd for a while and you're just doing random bullshit the agency adventurers guild gives you.

Mersault arc timeskip. Dazai off sucking and teaming up with some Nakahara toes, Nikolai being a material gworl

Fyodor is mimicking Odasaku's ashes

And obviously you're here in the back forced to do everything yourself because shit goes down 🔥

You have a pretty good knowledge on yourself in this world you're stuck in again, and it's necessary to use that info to your disposal because wow, the situation is complicated.

Especially during this arc now, but it's less difficult when you're only focusing on the DOA.

We'll say you only be familiar with the different organizations because you often go around a lot and travel.

Then meet various people and ... fight over half of them 😐

By this time, you and Sigma have been well acquainted. Due to his ability, he managed to get info about you easily. And boy does he use that to advantage.

Asked begged you to help him out in the DOA.

Look man he's suffering, don't leave babygworl all alone with all these gay men who're too broke to afford proper therapy sessions

Don't worry Sigma, we're here for you <3

By now you had no idea what was happening, just getting random info from everyone around you

Moving place to place (teleport waypoints are real handy right about now), collecting random shit and beating up enemies along the way

Classic genshin ripoff moment :/

Although you don't actually do a lot of stuff for the DOA, it's mostly personal mishaps coming from Sigma. Because no we don't want to be a wanted terrorist tf

So you soon arrived at mersault and saw poor Sigma either dead or unconscious.

Bro is in need of tevyat fried eggs

Anyways, you of course could not LEAVE him out of your sight after that. The one time you thought it was okay to stay out of business ... that happened 🤡

Sigma was indeed alive, but at the same time it wasn't okay to leave him since he was barely clinging on.

By the time he awoke, he thought he saw heaven. He frantically sits up from bed.

Oh wait, it was just you <3

You brought him back to the sky casino, as he was resting at a safe distance away from the three psychopaths in jail

You guys do end up having to go back much to his dismay, although this time it felt more safer because you were around. He's down deep and he can't return.

Sigma really likes you. Not because you're helpful and quite beautiful, but strong and empathetic in a sense both of you relate to various things.

He's seriously lucky to have you, his little shooting star ❤️

[thebearer]

Imagine teaching a class of little ones and you look up and Lip is in the hallway waiting to talk to you after you two had a fight (may or may not be about being pregnant) and just making up in the hallway and kicking him the fuck out of the school. “You are a grown man in a elementary school, I am really upset no one stop you, that kinda makes me nervous-“ and lip paid the security guard lol

he knew the guard from the south side, told him he fucked up. the resource officer is actually a few feet away bc he trusts lip but also... just in case lol. it is chicago with peace and love and people are insane.

he came when he knew it was their elective class time, when you'd have an hour and a half of planning to yourself so you could talk. he felt miserably guilty about the fact that he had been such a dick and even worse... he felt lonely. you were his best friend, truly. he'd never had one outside of ian, and he missed you.

"how did you manage this one?" you huff, arms crossing over yourself, a glare on your face.

"i, uh, i know marky. we grew up together." lip nods towards the still hovering guard. "i...i wanted to talk."

"i don't want to talk to you-"

"-i wanted to say i'm sorry." lip looked at you, bright eyes shining sorrowfully at you. "and...and i wanted to say i-i'm so fuckin' sorry i said that shit to you. i didn't... you're gonna be a good mom." lip took a shaky breath, a hand running down his face. "it's, uh, it's me that's gonna be the issue."

your lip wobbled, your teeth catching the tremble you hoped before lip saw it. he didn't miss it. "i don't want to have this conversation here." you muttered, looking at marky then back at the classrooms. "i'll meet you at my place at four. we can talk there."

"yeah, yeah, ok." lip nodded, heart skipping. "i'll see you then?"

you nodded curtly, waving at marky before stepping into your classroom. lip exhaled slowly, nodding at marky before the man stopped him. "think you owe me somethin', gallagher."

"really?" lip scoffed, already reaching for his wallet.

"yeah, really. could fuckin' lose my job lettin' random fucks in here like that." marky scoffed.

lip grumbled, handing the cash to marky before he left.

[ehh-is-the-name]

TPOT 10 spoilers 'cause BH makes me insane

I mean, c'mon. You can't see this thumbnail and think things are gonna be ok for you mentally if you like blackhole. Like you know what's coming to you.

First things first, let me just scream into the void for a second-

HIS NIGHTMARE IS KILLING PEOPLE AND LETTING THAT CONSUME HIM?????!!?!?

AAAAAAAAAGUH MY HEART??!!???!?

Man- I love Blackhole and this episode just drove the stake into my heart. The fact that he, himself, is a being who causes death by getting too close to people made me writhe in BFB. But actively showing the extent of how it affects him—ack! He knows he causes death, which is why it's so important for him not to kill people, and why he's so strict about the pact rules!!

It makes so much sense... BFB 1 had it all laid out, and TPOT 10 sewed it together.

From the way he was hesitant about helping Flower!!! We know- he knows he's gonna end the world by getting closer, but he gives into it anyway. Instead of putting his foot down to Flower, he gives in to his feeling of wanting to be closer to people—from the way he's so happy about being shrunk—and more later. Then we get that whole thing with everyone about to die.

We know if Four never came, everyone would've died. Blackhole knows that too, from the end of his nightmare. More specific to this clip though, from the scene with Pie and LIY, since he literally just gave in to the urge to get closer and he wants that to never happen again. As a singularity in space, he could appreciate the planet, and life on it, more than other objects. He could see them all interact but never actually interact with them (besides talking), so at this chance of being beckoned, it makes sense that he'd just go "eh, fuck it, alright" then IMMEDIATELY regret his actions. Although his nightmare was about being afraid he'll "give into murderous urges", it can also be interpreted as him being afraid to let go. Something clearly stated in the last scene of his nightmare...

Queue TPOT 10 scene from clip above (I'm so mad that it's only 1 video per post on here)

Over the season we've seen him go from preventing death to just not killing people. It's morphed into his own cut-throat rule for the pact, which, in this context, is fair to see why. He joined the game via him not caring about the consequences, and it's stuck with him, so seeing everyone over and over get away with things made him HAVE to re-enforce to himself that he wasn't allowed. Death PACT doesn't kill people. HE doesn't kill people. He can't allow himself to let go of that regiment.

Obviously, this causes problems in the team- we see the clip. The thing that gets me the most is that this is bona fide trauma we're working with—Fanny telling him to #get-over-it kinda rubbed me the wrong way. And OK! I know- I know that's not exactly what she's saying but that's how it felt, and I know she has every right to be upset 'cause he was fuckin' over his team, but again that's just me! (The fact they got on the same page was enough for me anyway.) I digress, his "obsessive nature" was essentially just a response to everything that's happened to him—it's what makes him feel in control of himself. Poor BH's got trauma bad :(

I think what really twists that knife for me is that... the guy really just wants to connect with his peers normally- He wants everything to go back to normal, and that's one of the reasons he compromises with Fanny. On some level, he knows he's gone too far, but he's just afraid. Even at the end, he can't bring himself to kill Tree, even though he knows it'd be better with the new "focusing on life" angle. Did you hear that shakey exhale? Man's going through the wringer. Obviously, he won't overcome his trauma in an episode, but it's a good step to just playing and enjoying the game.

Anyway... There is probably a shitton of fans that are looking at this like "Yeah no shit Sherlock" but hey! Be nice. Some of us are slower than the others, and by some of us, I mean me. I needed this punch in the face to really see how death was impacting Blackhole's mental state and now I've word vomited my thoughts out.

[thecapricunt1616]

Blue Lotus - SxC Fic - Chapter 2

♡ Summary: Carmy & Syd go horseback riding!!! Carmy's therapy friends push him to go for what he wants, his 'light at the end of the tunnel'

♡ W/C: 6,534

♡ Posted Date: 04/07/2024

♡ A/N: Hayoooo!!! I am too inspired... this has become a multi-chap fic hahaha I am havin' so much fun here!! Thank you @gingergofastboatsmojito for inspiring me to keep going!!! ILY! As per usual please know - this fic was inspired by THIS FIC here - Tucson by the GLORIOUS GINGER!!!! Go read that before you even THINK about reading this fic ok?! I love how I hate storer for the same reasons but im a sucker for writing a slowburn - I find myself screaming at MYSELF internally "make them kiss already!!!!" but they will KISSSS SHORTLY SO SHORTLY MY DEARSSSS !!! It will be a JUICY TAYLOR SWIFT DAYLIGHT ASS KISS OK!!!! THEY WILL ONLY SEE EACHOTHER FROM THEN ON!!!! Its gonna be a 'and I can still see it all in my mind all of you all of me intertwined I USED TO THINK LOVE WOULD BE BLACK AND WHITE BUT ITS GOLDENNNNNNN. We need Carmy to realize a few more things but then - he will be hozier level devoted to this woman even more then he already is, I hope you enjoy!!

♡ Warnings for BTC: Not really any? Like? LOL - Swearing?! Smoking cigarettes?! They just went horseback riding & carmy went to therapy- oh Ig talks of carmy getting hard LMAO but thats as crazy as we get this chapter. ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

Stardust nudges his shoulder so hard he almost falls over, and he turns to look at her. His heart jumped into his throat, his mouth suddenly feeling dry. She was there, she was really there. 

“Uh-” he blinked a few times, to be sure that she wouldn’t disappear. “Syd? Hey..uh-” he felt his entire body buzzing with excitement. He couldn’t help the smile that took over his features. She looked… gorgeous. Carmen wasn’t sure there actually was a word in any human language ever to exist that could describe just how wonderful she looked. 

Her hair was in its natural state, she was wearing an adorable corduroy jacket, black jeans, and white sneakers. “You came to a farm…in those?” he motions to her shoes. 

She laughs a bit “Wow- it’s great to see you too, Carm. Didn’t realize you were…actually like living on a farm” she approached him carefully. 

“Shit- yes- fuck- It’s its so good to see you, Syd, C’mere” he pulls her into a tight, long hug. The smell of her lavender vanilla perfume nearly made him melt. 

“You’re like…tan- and…muscley now” She laughs a bit, squeezing his arm lightly. 

“Uh..” he pulled away, cheeks bright red. “Yeah uh.. It's like- fuckin hard t’ride a horse. And the um…” he rubbed his neck nervously “The uh cows.. They eat hay? Most the time, and so we need to move the bales during the morning for em, they’re like…. 75? 80 pounds? So moving like 10 back and forth every day helps. And I dont really.. Go inside? Here? Its like… uh.. Thats the therapy mostly, the animals- at least f’me” he said sheepishly. 

She nodded, looking around the stable. “That one behind you is yours? Shes been side-eying me creepily since I started talking” she pointed to Stardust. 

“Oh! Fuck sorry yea, well- no…not- not mine- I got ‘er t’trust me. But uh, yeah this is Stardust. She’s a super sweet girl” He explained. Stardust leaned in, sniffing Syds hair carefully. 

“Cute- All you’re missing is a hat” She teased.

He chuckled a bit,  “Ok, c’mon - why are you here, Syd” He said with a small smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

She shrugged, looking at the ground and kicking a rock out of the way with her shoe. “Cause…I was worried- I dunno…” She definitely wasn't going to get bold and tell him that she’d missed him, terribly.

“Ok…well now that y’here, and y’see i’m okay…wanna have some fun?” He asked, a small smile on his lips.

Syd looked back up at him, as if he had 3 heads. “Okay- Where is Carmen Berzatto- Not his… Weird alien clone- Camren Brazota” she said, laughing a bit “what do you mean fun?” She asked, and Carmy laughed, real, and genuine. 

“Well- If I didn’t change my view a little I’d never leave. So, yes, Syd, ‘a little fun never hurt noone’ - per my therapist. Shes fuckin annoying. I much prefer the horses.” He pet Star’s mane and she leaned into his touch.

“Holy shit” Syd laughed a bit. “Wow- alright. I feel like you’re a whole new man already, what kind of fun?” she mused. 

“Ever ridden a horse?” he walked over to the saddle rack, pulling off a double seated one and hanging it over the back of the stall door. 

“No- Actually, Don’t I need um…like - stuff for it?” she asked. 

“Oh don’t think I wont give you the full experience” he opened the riding closet, “Whats your shoe size?” he asked, crouching down and looking through the pairs of extras. 

“8? Er- 9 probably 9” she said. He dug through them until he found a matching pair.

“These should do, y’stuff is cool here we can just leave it in her stall” he told her, holding out his arm for her to hold while she switched her shoes.

“You seem like…” she said as she slipped off her sneaker and put on the boot. “I dunno…chill- well- i wont go that far- but chill-er then before.” Carm snorted a laugh, holding on to her arm to steady her. 

“Thanks? I guess..that’s good right?” He asked. 

“Yeah! Yeah of course…I mean, it’s nice. To see you not so…anxious.” She said, slipping the other boot on. 

“Yeah I um…” he cleared his throat, opening the stall door. “I uh..I’m takin meds- Now? Uh..all this shit. Y’know they have me like tranquilized more then these guys” he said and she laughs, Carmen smiled proudly at the fact, relishing in the wonderful sound. 

“But yeah like Like 3 er..er 4. they say I had all this uh..mental shit. Goin’ on w’me and that’s why I was all…wound up I guess” he explained, calling Star out and getting her harness situated. 

Syd caught herself staring at his arms as he worked, how the toned muscle moved beneath the fabric of the shirt. 

“Aren’t you freezing?” She asked, noticing he wasn’t wearing a jacket like she was. 

“Used to it now, well- I mean the moving around. It gets hot this shit is heavy. Wanna try to hold the saddle?” He asked, unhooking the saddle from the stall door where he’d left it momentarily. 

“It can’t be that bad” she countered. 

“I think this thing weighs probably as much as you do.” He said “hold out your arms” he smiled a bit. 

She lifted her arms out in front of her and he plops the saddle down, she had to plant one of her feet forward so she didn’t fall face first due to the sudden weight and he laughed, catching the saddle quickly and baring most the weight. 

“Told you” he teased. 

She rolled her eyes “yeah whatever. Saddle up the horse, cowboy” she dropped the saddle back in his arms. He hurled the saddle over Stars back with a grunt. 

“Fuckin hell” he huffed, realizing since the saddle was nearly double the weight as his usual, and being on the shorter end- he couldn’t just get it on her when she was standing straight. “Bow” he told the horse and she just stared at Sydney. 

“Don’t embarrass me, Star. Bow” he told her and she looked the other way. 

“So uhhh…this one’s trained, huh?” Sydney teased. 

Carmen looked back at her “mmhmm maybe she doesn’t like strangers” he said, walking over to the other side. 

“Since she’s bein difficult y’gonna have T’help. C’mere” he waved her over and she followed. “So when I push it up, just grab the saddle pad and make sure it doesn’t move, yea?” He asked. 

“The fuck is a saddle pad, dude- I know my way around a kitchen not a fuckin horse stable.” She looked at the many different layers the horse was already wearing. 

“Alright. So this,” he lifted the cloth, “is her blanket. Keeps her core warm. And beneath it” he pats the pad “this is her saddle pad, it makes it more comfortable. So our bones aren’t like..diggin in her back and shit. Also shock, when she jumps the foam of it helps our weight disperse. The saddle is so big and heavy I can’t keep the pad still at the same time, so just hold it f’me,” he took her hand, guiding it to where he wanted her to hold. 

She felt her heartbeat quicken, his hands were so large and calloused on top of her own. She nodded wordlessly, keeping her eyes trained on where she was meant to be holding and focusing on keeping it steady as he went back around and carefully lifted up the heavy saddle with a grunt, laying it over the horses back. 

“Jesus- how much can this thing carry” Syd asked. 

“Well she is a mare, she weighs about…mmm- 1900? She can comfortably hold about 400 pounds for a decent distance but she can’t do that for hours and hours at a time. We together can’t be more then 300, and her gear is less then 100 pounds. Were just goin f’r a quick ride, I gotta get to therapy at 3” he explained as he buckled on her saddle. 

“Ah. So you’ve been memorizing horse information instead of creating recipes? I figured when I got here you’d have gone nuts by now without being in a kitchen so long” she gently touched the horses mane as she spoke. 

“Maybe. Well…I am kinda goin crazy? But I can’t…let it out?” He chuckled a bit “does that make sense? Nights are a little hard before my sleep meds kick in but that just says I haven’t done enough that day” he got up. “So y’gettin up first since I’m sittin in back” he explained. 

“Oh…uh- ok how do I?” She asked looking up at the at least 7 foot tall animal. 

“Y’not gonna be able to do it alone. C’mere” he told her. She comes over and looks at him. 

“How the fuck do you do this?” She looked up at the saddle that was at the top of her head before looking back at him. 

“So-“ he snorts a laugh at her wide confused expression. “She’s not gonna like you trying to roll up on her back, and I don’t want you t’get thrown off, she can be moody with new people. I almost broke my shoulder my first time trying to ride her” he said and she crossed her arms slightly. 

“So how. How do I get up there?” She asked. He pulled out a step stool, setting it next to the horse and getting up on the third step. 

“I’m giving you a lift. Arms up” he said with a playful smirk. 

“No- no way- Carmen that’s too high. You’ll drop me!!” She took a step back, feeling slightly nervous. 

“I won’t because I’ll bribe her Syd. C’mere” he pulled a pack of peep marshmallows out of his pocket and the horse nearly starts dancing. 

“Carm- what the fuck is happening?” She asked and Carmy chuckled. 

“Bow. Cmon Syd wants t’ride. Bow and you’ll get y’treat star.” He told the horse. 

It obediently bowed down and before Syd could process what was happening, Carm was scooping her up beneath her arms Syd squealed in surprise. “Oh my GOD WHY ARE YOU PICKING ME UP!” She shrieked, wiggling in his arms. 

“open y’legs! Cmon! she’s gonna get up!!!” Carmen laughed holding her up higher. Syd finally obeyed and he gently plopped her on the first saddle. “Good girl” he told the horse, feeding her the marshmallow and putting the packet in his pocket again before swiftly getting on behind Syd. 

“Alright. Hard part done.” He reached around her waist, and she lifted her arms slightly. 

“What- can you tell me what’s going on? I’m a horse virgin!” She said, and they both went quiet for a moment, before cracking up laughing. Syd leaned to her left slightly as she tried catching her breath, grabbing the rein for stability and tugging. 

Star took off sprinting, Syd screamed in surprise, her body going tight with fear. Carmen quickly wrapped his arms around Syds waist protectively, tugging on the reigns “WOOOOAH!” He called to Star and she quickly came to a stop. 

“Stand.” He told the horse firmly. 

“What the fuck Carm I thought she was trained!” Syd exclaimed, gripping onto his forearms for dear life. 

“I gotchu, you think I’d let her kick you off?” He tightened his arms around her. Carmen swore his heart was thumping so hard that she felt it on her shoulder blade. 

“Also when she moves it’s hard to keep still.” She said nervously. 

“Don’t worry, I gotchu, Syd. Lean into me, if our weight is centered then it’ll be easier for all 3 of us” he gently pushed at her stomach. 

She leaned back into his broad chest, “see” he said softly. He was lucky the angle didn’t allow for her to see him, because his face was bright red, And having her body pressed against his…was making him flush somewhere else too. 

He clicked his tongue and Stardust started walking again, at an easy comfortable trot. “This…is ok.” She said, much more comfortable now. 

“I’m gonna take you t’one of my favorite spots.” He said, pulling on the reins to the left lightly so she would follow the left trail. 

“Wow, already sharing secret spots huh? I think this therapist may just be Doctor of the year I don’t even think I’ve seen your favorite Chicago spots” she teased. 

Carm laughed a bit, he felt so much lighter with Syd around. And life had been lighter ever since he got here. 

“How is…uh- how is it back home?” He cleared his throat lightly. It was something that had being weighing on him. Yes, he was here, he was doing the thing. He was making Sugar happy. He was making Syd happy…but he would go back, at some point. 

And his biggest fear was things will just go right back. He won’t have this outlet, he won’t have sunset rides with Stardust to ease his mind. He won’t have the cows happily running up to him and greeting him when he was the first one to bring out a bale of hay. He felt like if he was here, he may have the confidence to tell Syd how he feels. But back home? It was another life. 

“Fine..things are..y’know. The usual shit. But nothing bad, no one’s getting locked in any freezers if that’s what you mean” she said playfully. 

Carm rolled his eyes with a light smile. “Mmhmm. So the restaurant is-“ 

“Is fine.” She said. “I’d have told you. You know that.” She said and he nodded a bit. 

“I know she scared you back there…but it’s pretty fun to go fast. You wanna try?” He asked. 

She shifted a bit uncomfortably, her hands tightening around his arms that were holding the reins around her waist. “Uhh…maybe? Are you sure we won’t fall off?” She questioned. 

“I’m sure. Here you can be the one to control it. Start light ok? With your legs.” He gently ran his hands down her thighs to right below her knees “here” he said softly, squeezing the flesh gently so she wouldn’t have to lean and look. “With that part of your legs, give her a little squeeze. But really light, or we’ll take out of here like a bat out of hell” he held around her waist again, securely holding the reins. 

“Mmhmm” she said, she was beginning to feel hot- and not because she’d done any hard work in regards to getting the horse ready. 

“Alright. Whenever you’re ready, you’re the boss” he said the last part softly in her ear. If it wasn’t for her jacket, he would see the goosebumps that had risen on her arms. She nodded quickly, staring straight ahead and trying to maintain her composure. 

“So I just?” She squeezed gently and the horse picks up her speed slightly. “Oh…ok” she said. 

“Told y’she was trained” Carmy teased and she rolls her eyes. 

“Mmm you’ve done a very good job, bribing this horse with peeps. The staff know you do this?” She asked. Carmy snorted a laugh

“No. But she’s healthy. Made sure. She only gets one or 2 if she doesn’t listen.” He admitted. 

She shook her head with a smile. “And how’d you find this out, Carm?” She leaned into him once more. 

“I…” he laughed a bit, his chest vibrating with the movement and it made her heart warm. 

“I uh…spent a few days in the library here. Reading up. After she threw me off. It’s all about trust with em. So I never lied to ‘er and I’ve never done something she didn’t expect because I always try to warn her.” He said, pulling her reigns a bit tighter. 

“This is like a joyride Syd cmon, I said fast not an evening stroll.” He teased. 

“Fine. Mister horse master- show me what Miss Stardust can do.” She said. 

With 2 kisses and a quick tap of his heel, they were off like a rocket. He held Syd steady, being sure she wouldn’t have to do most the work of holding herself center as he gripped each reign with the opposite hand, holding them taught so Star knew to keep going. 

Syd laughed, the wind flicking her dark curls all around. He wished she could see her amused expression. “Holy shit this is the best!” She shouted over the loud thuds of Stars hoofbeats. 

“I know right! Can you believe she can go faster?” He said, holding his knees taut around her hips to keep her from sliding. 

“Okay we are not! This is fine!” She said and sat up a bit “are we going into the-” She asks as Star begins to barrel through a creek, the freezing water spraying up and around them getting them slightly wet, the freezing water splashing from their calves up to their cheeks.. “CARMY!” She screams through laughter. 

He could barely catch his breath as he laughed so hard his stomach and ribs ached. “I’m sorry!! Syd! Oh god-“ he chuckled “woah girl- woah” he called to the course and she slowed down once again to a stop. 

“Fuck-“ Carmen chuckled “you okay?” He asked, picking a wet leaf from her jacket and throwing it to the forest floor. 

“Yeah- I’m.. I’m fine. That was really fun actually. C’mon I wanna see the spot” she said and took it upon herself to tug the reins so Star would take off again

“Shi-it!” He quickly finds his balance, “warn me!! Oh god I almost flew off!!” He told her. 

“You think I’d let her throw you off?” She mimics him from earlier and he takes the chance to playfully pinch her waist 

“Yes because who’s in back and who’s in front?” He wrapped his arms around her again, taking the reins from her grasp. “Your reign privileges have been revoked for this riding lesson, Ms.Adamu”  

She laughed a bit “I’ll earn them back. Don’t worry” she mused. 

“Mmm we need to talk about more shit before I just literally hand the reins over. Coulda spooked her and we’d be fuckin dead.” he angled the outside reigns so she’d slow down as they came to the clearing. 

“Here we are” he hopped off, raising his arms to help her down. 

She carefully reached out for him and he lifted her off, gently setting her down. “Holy fuck Carmy” she turned around, watching the waterfall cascade down over the rocks. 

“Right! Told you. It’s a fire spot” he went over to one of the rocks he usually sat at, plopping down and taking out a cigarette. “Oh- shit- can’t have y’running off” he told Stardust and chuckled, leaving the cigarette between his lips as he walked over to her, guiding her over to the tree, and hooking her right rein around a branch before sitting back down. 

“Yeah…I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere so…” she trailed off, looking at all the trees and running water. 

“Green?” Carmy lit his cigarette, taking a drag. “Not packed with smog? Somewhere that doesn’t smell like shit.” He said as he exhaled. 

“…yeah” she said and laughed a bit. “Yeah. Guess that’s it.” She came and sat next to him. “What did you mean about her getting scared?” She asked curiously. 

“Oh- a scared horse will fucking kill you. Not on purpose, but they’re big and pure muscle, and will do anything to get away from danger. I scared the shit out of her one time, that was it. Dislocated my shoulder 8th day here. Doing that hurts like a bitch by the way.” He rolled his shoulder gently. 

“How’d you manage that? God I knew you were shit at chatting up girls but she dislocated your shoulder?” She teased. 

He rolled his eyes with a playful smile, taking another drag. “Yes, I was fuckin around on the trail, dunno why- but there was this branch sticking out so I grabbed it, it snapped, she fuckin reeeared dude. I flew back so hard. My back might still be bruised I’m not sure. Still hurts a little to laugh” he said. 

“You better have seen a doctor” she said. 

“Ohhh silly Syd.” He sighed, a puff of smoke filling the air in front of him. “We aren’t allowed to refuse treatment here. If you get hurt, and you refuse to get help, it’s considered self harm, which leads to them believing you have suicidal ideation, which leads to you being locked in the actual nuthouse. So yes. I willingly went to the doctor daily for a week. And now, I’m being checked on once a week. So yeah. Oh and therapy daily. And every day I’m given my meds and someone checks over ‘pre-existing injuries’ which that is now considered. So yeah. I’m good. I’m fuckin fine as fine can be.” He said. 

“Awww poor little chef, being taken care of so well that’s so hard isn’t it?” She teased and he gives her a playful glare, but couldn’t help but crack a smile when he realized she was smiling too. 

“I was being taken care of fine at home by myself but you and my sister just had to ship me off after one tiny accident” he leaned back on his hand, taking another drag of his cigarette. 

“It stops becoming an accident when you didn’t care, Carm. You didn’t care. It didn’t phase you. You weren’t even…you weren’t even scared. Just because you didn’t do it on purpose doesn’t mean you did the sane thing which would have been doing everything you could to not let something like that happen.” She said, her tone suddenly serious. 

He looked down at his lap, swallowing thickly. He suddenly felt all of the armor he’d spent the last 31 days chipping at, slowly start to meld back together and shell him back in at the shame the whole situation was making him feel. 

“I have nightmares…you know. About it. What happened” she said quietly, and he could physically feel his heart ripping open. 

The only sound between them was the bubbling stream, and the sounds of their even breaths. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, gaze fixed on his lap knowing he would burst into tears at the admission she’d been so deeply plagued by something he’d done, if he had looked at her.

“I know” was all she said, gently resting her hand on top of his. He felt the same fireworks exploding in his chest that he only ever felt when she was around. 

“Do you um…” he clears his throat and shook his head, embarrassed by the question plaguing his mind. “Never mind it’s..it’s stupid.” He removed his hand, putting his cigarette in it and resting the hand opposite of her on the rock. 

“That usually means it’s not stupid. What?” She coaxed, bumping his knee with hers gently. 

“It’s stupid” he said again, shrugging his shoulders. 

“It can’t be stupider then asking me what UPS means” She said playfully. He rolled his eyes, smiling and looking over at her. 

“And what if it is?” He questioned. 

“I would be..worried they’re giving you a bad concoction of meds that’s turning your glorious chef brain in to Swiss cheese” she teased 

He snorts a laugh. “I was gonna ask..if you wanted to cook..t’night. My cabin…it uh- has a kitchen? I haven’t cooked in a month. They give us food so I haven’t really bothered but…seeing you makes me miss it more, I guess” he blushed, looking back down at his lap. 

“Well obviously. Not gonna let you eat whatever bullshit they’ve been giving you while I’m around.” She said and he shook his head, meeting her gaze once more with a playful smirk. 

“Maybe you should check in. My therapist says it’s bad apparently to feel ‘responsible for others’ - says it’s a ‘subconscious self harming behavior’ “ he teased. 

She smiled a bit. “Okay- say I do. How about, I check in now, we shoot the shit for what- eleven more days- then, you go back home- and see how stressful it is in that restaurant when one of your hands is basically missing” she plucked the cigarette bud he’d forgotten about from between his fingers before it burnt him, flicking it into the creek. 

“You know that’s the first time I’ve seen you smoke- other then…me like checking on you when you were about to explode at work. But you’ve never…pulled one out and smoked it I guess” she said, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her cheek on her forearm as she looked at him. 

“Oh…” he said, pulling one of his legs up and resting his arm on it. “Didn’t realize you noticed” he said, brushing some dirt off his jeans. 

“I notice a lot of stupid shit about you, it’s kinda annoying honestly.” She said without thinking, her eyes widening when she realized and she looked the other way, resting her other cheek on her knee and squeezing her eyes shut. 

Why would you ever say that?! She asked herself internally. 

“Oh?” He said again, smiling a bit. “You do?” He questions, but that was as far as he’d push. 

“Mhm” was all she responded. Carmys phone started buzzing in his pocket and he pulled it out in case it was one of the ‘base keepers’ they called them. Carmy rather call them babysitters. He knew what they were for, being sure if they were out of sight too long they were making sure they could still get ahold of them. 

He sighed in relief when he saw it was just his 2:40 alarm. “Gotta go” he stood up, offering his hand to Syd. “Like- now. Or my ass is getting chewed out.” 

The ride back to the cabins was mostly silent. He had no stool this time, so he had to pick up Syd essentially by the ass and gently place her on Stars back so she didn’t get spooked. 

He was embarassed as fuck that the tiny action had the crotch region of his jeans tightening more then was casually explainable. Thank god no one was around to see him awkwardly hop in the way of his semi hard third leg down his left pant leg, grunting but covering it with a dry cough when she settled her ass back into him to ‘center their gravity’ 

Syd absolutely felt the firmness pressing into her ass. She thought it was a bit funny, but also brushed it off to the strange friction that came with riding a horse. She couldn’t allow herself to fully believe his teenage like excitement was due to her, or she’d go insane. 

Carmy dropped Syd off at his cabin, giving her the key and telling her he’d put up Stardust and be back by 5, she would be blushing if it weren’t for her mahogany complexion at the domesticity of it all - er what she could imagine domesticity with Carmy would feel like. 

Her panties were also soaked through from the feeling of his enormous length pressed into the curve of her ass - the entire way back - but she just chalked that up to not getting laid for a few months, and misreading his natural arousal for him being horny- she quickly pushed the thought down and just chalked it up to the horse. Because guys get hard when they ride horses…right? Right?!

Carmen arrived to therapy extremely frustrated, and extremely ready to talk. He sat down in his regular spot in the back, tapping his knee nervously and covering his crotch with his hands. Luckily, thinking about his mother was enough to make him soft nearly instantly so he had that to thank her for at least. 

“Alright guys!” Julienne, the usual Friday therapist came in, sitting in her spot in the circle. “Who is up today! We are-“ she looks at her iPad “oh! Yes this is another OP class, so- no pressure but, I wanna hear what’s goin on!” She crossed her legs. 

Julie was far from his favorite therapist, at Blue Lotus. But he wasn’t his least favorite. So he would still talk. He cleared his throat, raising his hand slightly. 

“Carmy?! What a treat! Okay what’s up” she grabbed her little stylus pencil. He bit the inside of his lip nervously. He despised how casual she tried to make this all feel. 

“Uh…so- my um…business partner, she came to see me. I guess I haven’t been…keeping touch? Enough? She just said she was worried…” he cleared his throat again, gaze fixed on his lap. “And uh…I’m startin’ t’-t’realize stuff?” He sniffled nervously, rubbing his mouth with slightly clammy, nervous hands. 

“She uh..” he chuckled a bit. “She…she just…showed up. Didn’t hear shit from ‘er. She probably knew that I’d uh…I’d tell ‘er no?” He finally meets the gaze of Julie. 

“Okay. You know guests are allowed right? Like- during the visiting hours, 6am to 11pm, no fraternizing between patients but-“ Carmen cuts her off

“We aren’t - no. Not fraternizing” He shook his head. “But uh…today? We were- we were sitting. This spot, near uh, Jupiter point? On the north side. And I had this- this urge T-to tell her…everything.” He shook his head, looking at the floor again. 

“So…you wanted to tell her you love her?” Jesse, one of the guys he’d had lunch with a few times piped up. 

“T’be honest, I don’t know.” Carmen said honestly, looking at him. 

“Well what does it feel like?” Jesse asked, sitting up a bit. 

“What? Like- what does what feel like?” Carmen asked curiously. 

“Her. Being with her. Talking to her? Inside. Like. Your chest. Your skin?” He questioned. 

“Uh…” Carmen sat back, swallowing thickly and crossing his arms over his chest. He thought for a moment. 

“Hot. I get hot. All over. My chest feels tight but - but good? Like- a hug almost. And then…when she…” he blushed, looking down with a shy smile. “When she touches me” he shook his head slightly. “When she touches me it’s like um.. fireworks? Like fireworks beneath my skin.” He chuckled a bit at how cheesy it sounded. 

“And you haven’t fucking nailed her?” Jessie asked plainly. 

Carmen furrowed his brows, glaring at him. “No” he clenched his jaw “I haven’t.” He snips. 

“Dude- you are- pussy whipped with no pussy?! You- you love her, Carmen. You love this chick. I feel like I’m looking in a weird straight mirror - the first time-“ he laughed a bit “the first time I kissed a guy- god. He was so hot. But I had no idea! I had no idea. I really thought that I was just-“ he shook his head “that I was just wanting to befriend him? Or something? But like- I wanted to fuck him. And when I did kiss him? Something unlocked in my brain dude. It was like…like a whole new world. I felt like I knew - I knew what love could feel like? Just ‘cause of that one kiss “ he shrugged. 

Carmen looked at him, arms crossed, trying to absorb everything he was saying even though every fiber of his former self was screaming to take it with nothing more than a grain of salt. 

“Kiss her dude. Kiss her.” Jesse said and sat back in his chair. 

“Well. Although, consensual sexual instances are against the code of conduct to discuss - I am very proud to see you two coming out of your shells. Has anyone else felt… confused in their romantic endeavors and would like to share?” Julie asked. 

Carmen crossed his arms tighter, looking down at his lap. This was quite unusual for him, he was one of the patients to only add what he had to to be credited during inpatient, and during outpatient - only spoke when he really and honestly had to. 

“Uh-“ the super tall girl, Shayna sits up. Carmen was never really sure why she was here. She looked…perfect by all means. Perfect skin, perfect nails, pretty face, long blonde hair, a perfect body by girl standards. Or at least what Carmen had understood of them.

 “Not really the same.. but before I came out? I like…I would uh buy…girl clothes. That I liked. For my girlfriends at the time…” she blushed “and um.. I realized after a while that I liked them. And I wasn’t just..wanting to see my girlfriend in them. And like- it’s not the exact same, but when he said… about how Jesse realized he wanted the guy. That’s how I felt when I finally tried the clothes on” she shrugged. 

Carmen was…aghast. He just simply stared at her. He’d never met- or thought-  he’d ever met a trans person before today. But…Shayna? 

Well- he was wrong because he had met her, they actually knew each other fairly well as far as patients go, she joined the program when he did. When they first met, she’d made a joke about how they were the tallest girl and shortest guy in the class, so that meant they were bound to be friends, since opposites attract - and that earned a chuckle out of him before his meds had even fully evened out. 

“I love the cis-and-confused look- it’s cute” she said and laughed a bit. Carmen blushed, smiling a bit. 

“Not confused- well, maybe. Maybe a little. Y’Just so…dainty? I dunno..” he shrugged. 

“In case you haven’t noticed- mr.little man syndrome- you’re only one out with the cows doing the hay on time in the morning. Ninty percent of the group is your version of dainty ” Jesse teased. 

“Jesse” Julie gives him the look. “I’d assume that means- the rest of you that aren’t out helping with the bales- are scraping out the cow pens? Since Carmen is doing all the hard work according to you.” 

“I’m not girl- fuck no! The second I got out of inpatient house arrest? I walked my happy ass down to Walmart and bought me some blackout curtains. I recommend those to all of you! Oh my god and some ear plugs!! The stupid fucking roosters! Worst 15 days of my lifeee! I’m never coming back here peace and love to you all though. Truly. Can’t stand this cow shit stank ass place.”  Shayna said dramatically, causing Carmen to chuckle a bit.

 He had loved her boldness since they’d met. If Shayna didn’t want to do something- she wasn’t doing it. He learned that the day the staff tried to force her on anti-depressants. One of the main therapists got a Wellbutrin straight to the eye, they never attempted that battle the same way again. 

“We know Shayna you aren’t shoveling scat, princesses don’t do that” Jesse mocked her valley girl tone. 

“Okay! Okay. Alriiiight! Back on track- done with the bickering!” Julie said. “Now that open call is over let’s move on to breakthroughs. This issss-“ she looks at her iPad “ah- yes! D group. So. That makes it-“ he checks her watch “ah- right. 11 days! How are your light tunnel projects going?” She questioned. 

Carmen’s chest tightened, but not in the Syd is smiling or he made Syd laugh way- in the - I haven't done something I was meant to do way. 

The Light Tunnel project wasn’t hard. It was simply one thing you have done that you had wanted to do when you came into the program. And Carmy knew what his answer was, 

Admit how he felt to Sydney. 

Or, as his Therapist- Mandy told him ‘become more truthful with yourself and those you know about how you feel’ because “counting on someone to like him back would put him at square one” he had pretended to understand, but knew that he had to tell her and soon - or he was going to really go insane. 

“ my light tunnel was to talk to my asshole father- but lucky for me I just caught wind the motherfucker finally died thank god. So by default I win and don’t have to be here anymore cause his abandonment was what fucked me up anyhow“ Shayna said jokingly, causing Carm to snort a laugh. He knew she was only joking about the leaving early part, not the father part. Her father was an even bigger piece of shit then Carmen’s was, he had come to learn.

“Mmm that isn’t how it works we know that Shayna. We’ll talk more about this in one to one “ Julie told her and Shayna crossed her long legs, looking out the window. 

The last 20 minutes of the session Carmen sat silently, looking out the opposite window to Shayna, watching the horses running around in the field before they got called in for dinner and just spacing out, thinking about what he may say to Syd. 

“Yo - Carm space cadet” Shayna said before kicking his boot he jumped a bit, looking up at them both and had realized the room since had cleared and Julie was preparing for her next session. 

“Shit.” He said “how long have I been like…like that?” He asked, his cheeks feeling hot. 

“It’s the OCD meds. They get you stuck in a happy thought loop sometimes. Are you just gonna sit here? You wanna do another hour of this with sniveling group a? They got here three days ago.” Jesse said. Carm shook his head, getting up. 

“No- no sorry” he said starting with them outside. Shayna laughed a bit 

“You were thinking of screwing that business partner aren’t you. “ she said, causing Carmys cheeks to go pinker. 

“Shayna shut up!” Jesse scolded, pushing her shoulder lightly. 

“Awwww carmyyy are your feelings hurt little buddy? Do you need a hug? Jesus men are such pussys” she pushed open the doors of the therapy cabin for them. 

“Let me see pictures of this hot chick. If you don’t fuck her I will and I bet I’d do a better job” Shayna teased as they started heading back towards the cabins. 

Carmen couldn’t even process what she said as he felt his breath get caught in his chest, he saw her. She was sitting on the porch of his cabin, criss-cross in one of the rocking chairs as she writes in her notebook. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at the way the setting sun hit her bronze skin, her curls casting intricate patterned shadows on the wood. He felt his heart pick up, his chest squeezing in that way, the way that only happened when he saw her. 

Shayna and Jesse stopped after a few moments when they realized Carm had gotten stuck behind. They both follow his gaze carefully to see what he was so fixed on, like a trance. 

“Holy fuuuck!!! Holy fuck how did I get this lucky!! She’s here? She’s here still?!” Shana asked excitedly, “oh my god- you’re getting laid- tonight” she excitedly skips up to the cabin and Syd looks up, locking eyes with her before seeing Carmen just a few paces behind.  “I’m Shayna! Do you and Carm wanna hang out with us tonight?”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡♡♡