#I actually love this quiz it’s silly and we’ve been doing silly things with it

[raeofgayshine]

Made a horrible discovery during stream tonight and by discovery I mean thing that I already knew but recently we as a community have been obsessed with this Omegaverse quiz and after realizing there was multiple choice on some answers, I went to retake it.

And because it’s a quotev quiz, at the end it tells you how your answers played out, how many were for each category.

The highest anyone in our community had previously gotten was a 21.

But with a whopping 29 as my top answer (with the closest second being 17). It has been determined that I am a submissive omega.

That’s not the horrible discovery. No the horrible discovery would be my friends hearing that and going “Oh wow you really just want someone to take care of you.”

Like bitch I already knew that but damn quiz you didn’t have to yell it so loudly

[hangovercurse]

The GQ Couples Quiz

You, a famous actress, and your boyfriend, MGK, do an interview about your relationship for GQ.

Request: “Can I get a Colson Baker imagine where you do the couple interview for buzzfeed please”

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: I changed it to the GQ interview because I couldn’t find the one for Buzzfeed, sorry!

Word Count: 2480

“Hey guys I’m MGK”

“And I’m Y/S/N”

“And this is the GQ couples quiz.” You both said at the same time before busting out in laughter at the corniness.

“I think you know way more about me than I know about you.” Colson said, a nervous look on his face.

You giggled, “I think I know some stuff that could get you into trouble.”

The producers behind the cameras laughed at that. “Okay, I’ll go first.” Colson picked up the cards in his hand. “What is my full name?”

You smiled, “Starting off with the heavy stuff here, guys.” You said, looking behind the cameras with a laugh. “Your full name is Richard Colson Baker.” Colson made a face at the use of his first name which made you giggle.

“Yeah, but if anyone calls me Richard or Richie,” he pointed straight into the camera, “I will come for you.” You giggled at his silliness, looking at your own card which held the same question.

“Okay, what is my full name?” You looked up at him, “If you get this wrong, I will walk out of here.”

His eyes went wide, “I think I know my own girlfriend’s name Ms. Y/F/N.” You giggled, nodding in approval, and letting him continue. “Where was I born?”

You rolled your eyes, “Houston, Texas. Easy. Where was I born?”

“Y/B/T” He said with a grin, flipping to the next card.

“What is my secret talent?”

“You say this is your secret talent, but you talk about it all the time so I don’t know if it counts.” You said, “but you can juggle.”

He nods, “That’s the only talent I have so it counts.” You giggled, shaking your head. “Yours is that you can balance shit on your head, right? Like cups and plates and shit.”

You nodded, “together we make a whole circus act.”

You both laughed, his entire body moving as he did. Eventually, he calmed down and looked at the next card. “I’m gonna look like such a shitty boyfriend.” You laughed, waiting for him to read the question, “What’s my favorite meal?”

You laughed harder, “you don’t know my favorite meal?”

He threw his head back, “I know what you eat a lot but like, I couldn’t tell you what is specifically your favorite meal.”

You giggled, “yours is Soul food. Like chicken and mac n cheese and all that.”

He nodded, “I was gonna say chicken wings, but you’re right.”

“Every time we go to Cleveland you drag me to that one place and you get so excited about it.” You told him and he smiled. “Do I wanna ask you what mine is?”

“Dude, you are gonna make me look so bad.” He shook his head, but tried anyways, “I mean, I know you like making breakfast with me and Case, but I don’t know if that’s your favorite meal or not.”

You grinned widely, excited that he got it right. “No, you’re so right. Like, it’s not the best food,” he pouted, “but the fact that we all make it together is really cute.”

He blushed, reading the next card. “What is my favorite song to sing around the house?” He started laughing in the middle of the question, making you laugh with him.

“Oh my god, what doesn’t he sing around the house?” You said to the crew behind the screen. Slim and Baze were standing to the side, laughing with you. “I guess normally its whatever he’s working on. Like I swear, no one is more obsessed with his music than he is.”

His cheeks were red and he buried his face behind his cards. “I’d like to disagree but I really don’t have a favorite song to sing around the house. It’s just kind of whatever’s in my head.’

“So, then I still get the point, right?”

“I guess you still get the point.” He sighed.

“Okay this one is different for me, what is my favorite song to dance to?” You asked, grinning slyly at him.

He rolled his eyes, “if you play anything by 24kGoldn, she will be dancing to it. If you play anything I’ve come out with, she skips it.”

You gaped, “I do not skip it you ass! You just don’t make good dancing music. There’s nothing wrong with that, I just can’t dance and cry at the same time.” By the end of your statement, you were both laughing like little kids. “But Goldn, he makes some dance-worthy music.”

Colson shook his head but continued. “What was the name of the first song I ever released and my first album?”

“Lace up.” You announced, making the x symbol with your hands. Colson nodded, smiling at you fondly. “Uh, your first song was…” you trailed off, thinking. “It wasn’t Wild Boy, was it?”

He shook his head, “nope, earlier than that. It was never on an official album.”

Your eyes shot open in realization, “Oh! Alice in Wonderland!” You shouted and he nodded, smiling proudly.

“I swear to God I look so bad right now.” He complained.

You chuckled, shaking your head, “We’ve gotten the same number of questions right! I wouldn’t have gotten that if you hadn’t told me it wasn’t on an album.” He let out a sigh but you continued, “what was the first piece of film I ever appeared in?”

You could tell he was thinking, “like commercials and stuff count?” You nodded, “you were in that Febreze commercial when you were like, 12, weren’t you?”

You laughed really loud, your head going back and your eyes shutting. “I hate that you know that.” Colson pumped his fists in the air, celebrating his correct answer.

“If you were to ask like your first actual like movie, it was Nerve, cause that’s how we met.” He said, a wide grin on his face. You nodded, matching his energy. He looked at the card, his eyes going soft. “Okay this one’s cute, when was our first date and what did we do?”

You giggled, remembering the long path to your relationship. “Our first actual date was on April 23rd, 2019. We went to a little drive-in movie and you borrowed Baze’s truck and we sat in the bed and uh… let me just say we didn’t do much watching.” The crew members started laughing with you, so much that you had to take a few seconds of a break.

“We’ll cut the break out, don’t worry.” The assistant director said. Colson’s face was red, trying to hide his laugh as you went back to the video.

You cleared your throat, “when was our first kiss?”

He chuckled, “It was not that night, funnily enough.” You both giggled, hiding your face in embarrassment. “Our first kiss was the night before. It was my birthday and we were in this huge house and there were a ton of people around and I realized that you were the only person I actually wanted to be with at that moment in time. So, we snuck out to the backyard with a bottle of something and spent the rest of the night getting drunk with each other. And at some point, I kissed you.” You smiled, the memory of that night coming back to you. “And then I asked you on said first date.”

There were a few scattered “awes” from the production team, which you laughed off. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was cute, next question.”

He shook his head at you but read the next question, “Ugh, these are all so cheesy. When did I first say I loved you?”

You chuckled, “You were on tour and I hadn’t seen you in like two months except on the phone. So, when you got back, you took me and Casie out for lunch and then we went to this skate park. I remember I was teaching Casie how to skate and you just kind of blurted it out. And Casie and I both looked at you like “what the fuck did you just say?” and you got really embarrassed about it and then Casie said “finally!” like she had been waiting for it.”

You were a giggling mess, happiness flooding your body as you remembered the moment. “No,” he started, “you don’t understand. Casie figured it out like weeks before me. We were talking on the phone, and this kid, my nine-year-old daughter, started teasing me about how nervous I was to tell you.”

Your grin widened. “I swear Casie would’ve killed me if I hadn’t told you that day.”

“I will have to thank Casie at some point.” You said as you flipped to the next question. “What is my favorite movie and TV show? You gotta get them both right.”

He put his head in his hands, letting out a sigh. “I know your favorite movie is Nerve for obvious reasons,” he motioned up and down his body, “however, I know you’ve seen The Dirt about a hundred times, so.” He pointed his head at you and you rolled your eyes.

“He’s so egotistical.” You said to the camera. “But you’re right, Nerve is my favorite movie not only because its how we met but also because it was the first movie I was ever in. But if you were to ask my favorite movie that I’m not in, it would be The Dirt. You get 2 points for that one.”

Colson nodded, “hell yeah. Okay, what do I consider my biggest career accomplishment?”

Your eyes went wide as you realized you didn’t know the answer. “I could say like three or four different things right now.” You whined, looking to him for help. “When Miocic started coming out to your song, when you recorded with Crue, when Cena started using your song. You’ve done so much shit.”

He chuckled, “yeah but what’s the most important one, like to me?”

You tilted your head, “Was it when you performed on New Year’s?” You asked, feeling slightly embarrassed.

He laughed, “you’re a goddamn mind reader, I swear.” You smiled, sighing in relief, “yeah, it wasn’t like the biggest thing but it was the most important to me.”

You smiled, “we’re just on the same wavelength.” He rolled his eyes at your goofiness. “Okay, okay. How do you know when I’m mad at you?”

He chuckled, looking down at his hands, “if its something I did and we’re like, in public, you just won’t talk to me and like you won’t let me touch you.” He turned to the camera and the rest of the room, “like we are both very touchy people, so if she stops holding my hand or something, I know I fucked up.”

You giggled, nodding in agreement, “but if I really mess up, she’ll let me know.”

“We’re very big on communication.” You smiled, both of you stifling laughter at the many memories of you arguing over stupid things. “But it’s why this works, y’know?” You said to the camera.

“You should get this one, what’s my biggest fear?” He asked, the room falling silent.

You turned to look at him, a soft smile on your face. “Losing Casie.” You said, “or me, but mostly Casie.” You both knew how much he loved Casie. It was what attracted you to him so much in the first place. And since you’d known him, Casie had become equally important in your life.

He nodded, “yeah. I’ve had, like, actual nightmares about it. Scariest shit.”

You let the answer linger in the air for a second before pulling out the last card. “Okay, last question. When did we first meet and when did you first realize you liked me?” You grinned up at him and he blushed.

“First day we met was the day of the Nerve read through and we hit it off immediately. But I realized I “liked” you,” he used air quotes when he said the word liked, “when you did that ladder scene. I remember thinking like, “damn, that girl is fucking metal.””

You laughed, “I was so terrified but I was trying to keep calm because I wanted you to think I was cool.” You squeezed your eyes shut, “I was freaking out.”

Colson laughed with you, pausing to catch his breath, “but the first time I realized I loved you was when I was on tour. Normally I called you before I went out after the show, but this one night I was really burnt out and the only thing I wanted to do was to sit on the bus and facetime you. And even though I was like four hours behind you and it was like 5 am where you were, you stayed up with me and we just talked for a while. And then you fell asleep without hanging up and I couldn’t bring myself to hang up. So, I just, as creepy as this shit sounds, I just watched you sleep. And I had that thought of like, I could do this every night and not get bored of it. And that’s when I realized that I loved you.”

The look on your face explained your emotions perfectly, and it was something the internet talked about for a while after the video was released. Colson blushed, “now you gotta say when you first realized you liked me so I don’t look like a little bitch.”

You laughed loudly, body shaking. “Ok, first time I realized I liked you was when you brought Casie to set. Like, the way you acted with her and everything was so sweet. Like I was already attracted to you but that was the point where I was like, woah.” You made wide eyes to prove your point. “I realized I loved you the same facetime call. I hate being woken up and I was really mad when my phone rang. But then I saw it was you and my heart literally did a little backflip. The next morning, I woke up to the call still going and you were asleep on the other end and I realized that I would never answer a facetime call at 5 am for anyone else.”

He smiled fondly at you, “we’re so in sync.” You giggled, agreeing.

“Okay, that was our really cheesy GQ couple’s quiz. Thank you guys so much for watching. Stream Daywalker by MGK and Corpse.” You said to the camera.

“And go see Y/N’s new movie out on Netflix!” Your boyfriend said giving a thumbs up to the camera.

The director gave you the signal to cut and you let out a sigh of relief, looking over to Colson, who was already looking at you. “I love you.” He said.

“I love you too, dork.” You mumbled, moving from your chair to his, resting your head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around you.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk: Grievances and Cuteness - BTS on You Quiz on the Block

by Admin 1

Today BTS were guests on You Quiz on the Block, a very popular Korean variety show on tvN, and it was a wonderful mix of fun and hilarious, but also serious, vulnerable and honest. Seeing as we don’t have subtitles yet, merely the things our marvelous translator ARMYs managed to translate for us—the episode was 100 minutes long so there was a lot going on and being said—I don’t want to get into detail in this post and instead will wait with that until we have subs and I’ll be able to sit down and watch it properly again, focus on things that stick out to me and I would want to talk about. So that I can do their words justice.

Instead I want to use this post to air some of my grievances, directed at fellow ARMY, “ARMY” and shippers, as well as just gush a little about a few cute moments. The more serious things will be in a different post sometime soon. I hope that’s okay.

Grievances

What is the point of Bangtan going on a show like this, especially one that is broadcast on national TV and very popular with the general public? It’s to share not only their funny side but also their honest and genuine one, share stories that, though some we’ve heard before as ARMY, they’re things the general public doesn’t necessarily know. The point of them sharing vulnerable moments and memories with us is to simply be honest and transparent, something they’ve always highlighted as important to them.

What is the part we play in this, what is it that we should do? We are simply supposed to listen, understand the things they are telling us, put things into perspective so we know what they felt in certain moments and periods of their lives, understand that they’re human too with struggles, fears and sadness, and we should cherish the fact that they tell us any of it at all. They could just as well only show up whenever there’s a new album and comeback and then disappear again, share nothing personal at all and put on entirely fake personas. But they don’t. And we should be grateful for that and happy because of it.

Now, the reason why I even wanted to write this in the first place is this:

Many, and I mean many have decided that instead of doing what I’ve highlighted a moment ago, a far better course of action would be to twist their words, manipulate them, use them to victimize the members (and especially Seokjin), and try to overanalyze them in favor of their desired narratives and especially their ships, even if whatever was being said had absolutely nothing to do with any ship at all.

Before the episode even finished airing, solos/mantis were already up in arms “crying” about mistreatment and victimizing Seokjin because *insert demands they have no right to make at all* and when Seokjin, bless him, was on weverse, he actually replied to a post where he basically said that parts of what he said were too sad/depressing, so he simply asked the You Quiz staff to cut them out, which would explain why he seemed to have “less to say” during his interview section with Yoongi. Did that help? Of course not. Even though it showed not only that he did say more, that he likely said more vulnerable things, but also that he made the decision for himself that he did not want to share that yet, because he’s not ready for it or because he came to the conclusion that he simply doesn’t want to period, and that his wish for them to cut it out was met. Even though it wasn’t BH controlled content, but You Quiz.

More below the cut:

What does this tell us? The members have control over what is aired and what is not. If they feel something is too personal or would come across wrong, they can voice objection and chances are their words will be met and followed. They aren’t victims in need of saving, aren’t helpless boys with no idea what they’re doing. They are serious musicians, respected and treated well. This is a good thing and I’m glad he told us that, even if many don’t want to hear it and immediately claimed that “oh yeah BH told him to shut us up”. The mental gymnastics some are willing to do to make things fit their agenda truly baffles me sometimes.

On the other hand, I’ve seen shippers try to twist words or put others into the members mouths to push their agenda, and we’ve even had one or two asks being sent to us basically sadly wondering if maybe Tae isn’t who we thought he is for Jimin, and neither is Hobi, because of something Jimin said. Even though the thing Jimin said had quite literally nothing to do with either Tae or Hobi. In a way, I get where such vminnies are coming from, as vminnies we would love to just hear vmin talk about each other all day because it’s cute and we love their bond and stories, but it’s not like we didn’t get that. Because we did. Unprompted. Jimin mentioned Tae during their trio interview and told a story, even if we’ve heard it before to a certain degree. And yet it still wasn’t enough? Like come on, please don’t do this. Don’t reduce everything the members do and say to just ship related and non-ship related (thus uninteresting) statements and actions, as though the latter is worth less.

Here is the moment in question:

The way I see it, the only thing we should take away from this is that despite these very human fears and struggles, wonderings if people only care about Jimin because he is BTS Jimin and not Park Jimin, he still had and has good people in his life that’ll remind him that he is appreciated and loved for who he is, and not just for his celebrity status. Friends even outside of Bangtan. Why do we have to take something so incredibly personal, this moment of vulnerability from Jimin, and try to overanalyze it? To twist it to fit a ship? Regardless which one. Or to twist it to fit some kind of narrative, whatever one it may be? Please don’t do that.

Sure, Admin 2 noticed his use of ‘chingu’ when talking about this friend that told him that, and sure it reminded me of what Jimin said to Tae in the FESTA 2020 Rolling Paper, but neither Admin 2 nor I will go and claim that oh he must’ve been talking about Tae but didn’t want to use his name to avoid XYZ because we are not in his head and, at the end of the day, it’s irrelevant who exactly said that to him. That wasn’t the point of that story. Like at all. So why are some people disregarding the point in favor of speculations? Why are some completely ignoring his words, downplaying them as just potential ship material instead of appreciating the fact that he told us that at all?

It’s unfair toward Jimin, and the other members as well when they tell similar stories. Their lives aren’t fictional stories that revolve around romance. They are real people with real lives and more friends than just their fellow members and that’s a good thing since it surely gives them the opportunity to feel less isolated, cut off from the world by nature of their occupation and status. Besides, in the past Tae said something similar as well, how he used to be a social butterfly and make friends easily wherever they went but eventually he understood that people didn’t really care about Kim Taehyung and instead just wanted to know BTS V and be able to use that to brag, so he stopped being so outgoing. And we’ve also seen Jimin talk about cutting out friends in the past if they said something negative about Bangtan, then, a few years later, saying that he’s grown more as a person and learned to not allow these things to affect him as much, to surround himself with genuine people.

So, in light of what he said in that segment, we should be happy for him. And that’s it.

We also saw people use what Tae said about his dad to push the he must be 100% heterosexual because he said he wants to be a dad narrative which, where do I even start. Perhaps with the fact that this statement relies on a mistranslation? Because he didn’t say he wants to be a dad but that he wants to be a person like his dad, that’s his dream. Perhaps with the blatant homophobia this statement is laced in? The disregard for how queer people can also want to have kids, be parents, just like anyone else? Perhaps with how these things oddly seem to just be done to Tae and Namjoon, and especially Tae to use it for ship purposes?

Instead of jumping to conclusions, overanalyzing stories we are not supposed to analyze but instead to simply appreciate, please wait until we’ll have the full episode with subtitles (even though from the past we know that some of it may be simplified so reading what our translators wrote is also a good thing to get the whole picture) and even then, just enjoy their silliness and listen to their words of honesty. Listen to the fact that their fame was and continues to be a heavy weight on their shoulders, how instead of becoming cocky assholes they remained humble and genuine because that’s the kind of people they are and want to be, listen to what they want you to hear and now what you want to hear.

Also, to shippers—this isn’t the place to look for ship content of any kind, for some romantic confessions or whatever, because this was about Bangtan as seven members and their stories of the last ten and a half years since Namjoon joined BH and the idea for BTS was started.

Cute and silly things

Now that that's done, let’s talk about some fun and cute things to lighten the mood, shall we?

One of my favorite moments was when the MIC DROP ARMY came in as a surprise for the members, her confidence was off the charts and the guys looked so genuinely happy. After all it’s been so many months since they’ve last seen ARMY! And I’m so glad she was such a wonderful representative for us all, how she didn’t react with fear or shyness, didn’t scream or cry, but instead did her thing like a Queen. And the way the members reacted when she sent them a finger heart during one of the dances? Absolutely adorable! 

Also, she truly must’ve saved some kind of nation, or maybe two, in her past life since she also was gifted a chicken leg pillow by Tae. He’s just so kind and lovely.

Then we had the members play a game of trying to guess a song merely by the first second (I think) and then having to sing it, though who sang which part didn’t follow the actual order in the song but was chosen by someone off screen which meant that, for example, Tae was doing one of the rap line verses as well as singing Jimin’s part in another, Hobi showed off his vocal skills, and of course, the highlight, Namjoon singing a part from Spring Day. Even though we know Namjoon’s skills when it comes to singing are not the greatest, which I mean in a very loving way, no tea no shade, and yet he still went for it. It was hilarious and cute and showed that he is willing to be silly even if others might laugh at his expense.

Sometime after the episode aired Namjoon actually came onto Weverse to talk about the episode and, among other things, apologized for not singing Seokjin’s guide all that well. One thing I’d like to point out is how, originally, he wrote Jinhyung but then changed it to Seokjinie hyung, which is just a small and precious little detail:

Another cute moment was during ‘dance mafia’ when Tae turned to Jimin to ask him if they did well and Jimin replied that yes, he did well (both using this adorably soft tone with each other), they also hugged for a moment while smiling brightly. See, I said not to look for ship moments, but this is just cute regardless if you ship vmin or not. Admin 2 though would like to comment on how they could’ve given us that hug from a camera that’s a little further away so we could have a more proper look, or a longer shot of it, please?

Honestly that game was hilarious and the members who were mafia did a wonderful job tricking the others, particularly JK was fantastic at it since the second time around no one suspected him at all. Also, the fluffy ear muffs with cat (?) ears on them were adorable. At the end of the segment they were all supposed to strike a pose but Tae didn’t manage to put his ear muffs back on, so they fell to the ground and so Jimin lightly hit/caressed his chest and turned toward the MCs to ask if they could try again so that Tae could look good in it as well.

Actually, speaking of adorable in regard to Jimin, when they were introduced at the beginning of the show as RM-jagi-nim, jagi-nim being the name used for all the guests on the show and also the name on the necklace (given to guests who are fans of the show by the producers) Jimin showed off on weverse in his selcas, Jimin corrected the MC that it’s not Jimin-jagi-nim but Mini-jagi-nim which just…my heart. Too cute.

Lastly, I want to mention how all of them were asked what the first sentence would be if their lives were a book and their answers were just so very…them.

Namjoon: Predictions in life often turn out to be wrong

Tae: I’m a chameleon

Hobi: Dear, people who’ve helped to lead me here

Yoongi: You lived life to the fullest/hard/well

Seokjin: Dope, worldwide class!

Jimin: What kind of life do you want to live?

Jungkook: Hello?

Overall it was an amazing episode that was so fun to watch even without really being able to understand any of what was being said. Still the members genuine personalities shone through brightly and I’m glad they had fun and felt comfortable, especially since it’s been a while since they were last on Korean variety shows and some of their past experiences were…not great. I can’t wait to watch it again once we have subs and to write a more proper post about it then. I hope you didn’t mind this more…serious and “angry” post and understand where I’m coming from with my complaints, but also that you enjoyed the cute moments I highlighted.

[fandom-sheep]

Fundy DreamSMP Pranks

08 APR 21 Delayed Liveblogging Part 1/1

I’m not in the live yet because class is important today, but I am suspicious of the notification

This better be just pranks.

If I join in here in a bit and the prank is breaking dream out of prison or something lore like I’m going to cry.

I’m back why are we planning on making glass.

We’re surrounding the enderboi with water

Oh no we’re burning bridges and murdering the enderboi

All of Fundy’s pranks have been so destructive lately.

Blowing up the community house 2 electric boogaloo

Watering the enderboi.

9% amazing. Very nice.

I got my vaccine today and it hurts. So this is the distraction.

TipTup? I still don’t know what’s happening. I don’t see.

TikTaks!

From the examples he’s trying to use I feel this boi doesn’t fully understand tiktok

I disappeared to get ready for a zoom meeting

But now the fox is trapped. Ironically by the enderboi.

I agree with the chat members saying “scatter”. We’re jumping ship and letting the fox deal with the bad decision.

Run for it? No. SNEAK FOR IT!

Oh no! The inventory filled!

Mission impossible sounds. (Also hiding up isn’t going to work)

You can hear the chests. I bit of my soul just left my body.

I swear of he breaks glass and lures the boy towards himself

Oh he’s even stopping the music. GO GO GO

The man would be better off just waiting till later.

Enderwalk Ranboo v. Prankster Fox (so far the enderwalk ranboo is winning by the heart attack numbers)

Oh no! We’ve lost retreat options.

He made the water bucket... and now he runs.

An enderman: Appears. Chat: SPY!!!!

Ah. Explosions. This family’s solution to everything.

Foolish. HBomb, Fundy, and Ranboo. What a disastrous set of people.

We’re messaging the live person. Ah yes, that’ll work

I forgot to clock into work.. whoops. Oh well its not a big deal. I’ll just leave a note when I clock out.

Good Lies? This man can’t lie to save his life.

We demand hydration.

They’ve only said hello and I can already tell this isn’t going to work.

Slight request. Mhm.

Shaking over a glass of water. LOL

Fundy being a therapist. And did this god of the sea just say he is friendly with the water...

“As soon as I bring out a water bucket he is going to shit his pants” -Fundy

Is this actually working?

Is this planned? I doubt it.

This is actually working. I am incredibly impressed.

“trying to do this over the phone now” -Foolish

Pull up stream: Panic noises.

I love Fundy screaming to us when muted.

Come on Foolish! We believe in you. Get the enderboi out of the house.

Foolish I am slowly stopping believing in you.

Foolish. I no longer believe in you for accomplishing this.

Oh no! Fundy found some lore!

*dying moose noises*

Good gracious. Come. On. Foolish.

I think Foolish forgot his mission.

We got Foolish talking about building and he got distracted.

The chat is panicking. The fox doesn’t know what to do.

He got fully distracted.

Is this what Foolish’s viewers usually listen to while watching him? Just house rambling.

Well... that was... helpful.

WERE PULLING MICHAEL INTO THIS!?!

Oh no.

Fundy you don’t need to explain Michael to us. We all definitely know who Michael is.

This is just Foolish and Ranboo talking while Fundy panics.

All da spies.

Asking foolish to do something is almost as bad as asking maid hbomb to do something.

Please. Ranboo. Please. Leave.

YESSSS. Finally!

Funny memes. Funny Jokes. Fundy.

Ah. Business.

Geometry quiz. Poor being.

Ah. Aquariums. Yes. Everyone’s favorite things.

His voice just switched from so high to so deep.

Oh. We were found out.

Oops.

We’ve been abandoned on a black screen. With only donors and mods for company.

I think I saw a mod saying it crashed?

Please. Just end or don’t. Do not abandon chat in limbo. We will cry. It’s our specialty.

Oh. I’m silly. My volume was down.

That was still spooky.

Chat bullying him to try to get him to log in.

The stream crashed with such good timing. I do not trust that timing. I do not trust anyone who comes within 50 ft of lore.

Next stream is log on and good luck.

Off to Foolish! I might write a post there too.

[painted-crow]

Submission Time #12

Another submission from me! I’d meant to put in answers from the quiz… or really, my perpetual arguments with the quiz. But then I got distracted by writing out my thoughts and forgot to do that.

Oof, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are just from this–you sent it in with anonymous on! Hopefully that’s okay.

I get different answers from the quiz at different times. Last time I took it in earnest, stoned out of my mind, I came up Snake/Snake. This time I intentionally hatstalled to get as many questions as I could.

If this is too many words on top of too many words… I am sorry.

I see that lol! I appreciate that there is no lack of information here 😉

However, this post as it came in was VERY long, even by my standards, and for the sake of readability I've done 2 things:

1) Switched to desktop long enough to put in a cut. It broke the blue color I usually put over my replies in order to make these easier to skim, but I'm not putting it back because it's kind of a huge pain to redo.

2) Trimmed out some of the question/answer pairs. You have plenty, so although I read them all, I just kept those I deemed most relevant. I also skipped a few where my responses would have been repetitive. Just an editing decision I hope you'll be okay with.

That said, let's get on with the Sorting.

Primaries

• If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?

I’m not sure that I have a community, but yeah, if my SOs think something is a bad idea, I’ll listen and consider. I’m more likely to be the person disagreeing with and trying to convince someone else, though. Also, sometimes it’s plain easier to go along with things to keep life smooth. But if it was something important… I think I’d have to go with what I think is right, regardless of disagreement. I’ll listen to others, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I won’t not do a thing JUST because of the disapproval of my family.

Suggests internal primary, Lion or Snake.

• What’s your top priority?

I kind of hate this one because I want to answer all three. I want to make the world a better place for the sake of me and mine, and that’s one of my goals. Not one I imagine I can accomplish, but it’s something that matters. My kid will probably see a pretty rough world in the future and I wish I could do something to alter that, beyond trying to be an ethical consumer as much as I can.

This answer feels very grounded and practical. I want to say it feels Liony, partly out of process of elimination but mostly because it just does.

• When you’re making a decision and you’re stuck, what should you do?

Idk, panic? No, not really. I seek advice if relevant, don’t if not, seek out any information I can, think about it… make a decision… and proceed to worry about that decision for the next millenia because what if it wasn’t the right one? I usually go with my my gut choice but 1) sometimes I have to go hunting for that, and by sometimes I mean a lot, and 2) I still research the hell out of it.

The way you’ve answered this says more about your secondary than your primary, imo. You might be a Bird secondary.

• Do you listen to your intuition?

I’d like to, but I don’t trust it. I’m too afraid of everything.

Ooh, interesting. It’s worth noting, people who write to me are often Burned at least somewhat, because Burned Houses are always harder to sort; everyone reacts differently to trauma and comes up with different coping mechanisms. Wonder if you’re an at least somewhat Burned Lion who’s pivoted into Snake, perhaps because it fit with your old value set.

• Someone points out a flaw in your logic. Their argument makes sense, but there’s something about it that just bothers you. Do you change your ways because of what they said?

This one always bothers me. It’s not a thing that happens to me often, but I can’t understand not changing your mind in this situation. If someone points out that you’re wrong… well… you’d better go look into that, hadn’t you? Maybe because I’m constantly seeking to understand myself, and I don’t and that frustrates me, but… I don’t know. I agree with and disagree with all the answers.

This seems Bird at first glance, but it seems you’re too conflicted about it to be straight up unburned Bird (and Burned Birds are usually easier to spot because they tend to be wrapped up in the problem/s they’re struggling with). You might have a model or performance, too early to say.

That line about being frustrated that you don’t understand yourself is also a good hint toward an Idealist primary.

• Does disagreeing with your closest friends about something important to you make you love them less?

No, but I might think less of them, and I will probably argue my points at them in the future. Sometimes I change their mind, sometimes they change mine. I turned my SO into a social liberal, he caused me to adjust my stance on gun control. There’s always give and take.

Sounds healthy. That model’s sounding a bit more likely here. I’d be very curious if you turned out to be a burned Lion who actually had a healthy Bird model–that would be rare o.o

• What if everyone you loved left you? They betrayed you, abandoned you, or died, and you’re hurting. What keeps you moving forward?

This question makes me want to tear my hair out, because those are all different things.

If everyone I loved died, I would probably have a massive breakdown, spend a year laying in bed, and then use whatever money I inherited or insurance payouts I got to go try and live the life I’ve always vaguely wanted, traveling. I wouldn’t seek out relationships but I imagine I would, eventually, form new connections. It would hurt, but I would rebuild.

If they abandoned me, or betrayed me, which is… kind of the same, I guess, because abandoning me without cause is a betrayal… well, I would probably be confused, and angry, and curl into a ball and want to die, and then turn into a lifelong curmudgeon the likes of which I swore I’d never be. It would hurt, and I would probably be loathe to trust again.

This doesn’t feel Loyalist, at least.

• What if you realized that absolutely everything you thought was true was wrong? The authorities you’d trusted, the beliefs you’d held, the wrongs you’d fought against?

Another that trips me up. I doubt someone is ever going to convince me that punching down, bullying, or causing unwarranted harm is good. I don’t trust any authority without cause anyway, and I trust no authority to be right on every topic. I trust NASA about space but I’d be more interested in what the forestry service has to say about ecology, in a silly example. I’m not religious so I don’t have any authorities there. My parents were authorities once but it turns out they’re human and sometimes wrong, so…. I feel like I don’t know how to answer this question, because I can’t fathom what someone could tell or convince me of that would be that kind of a gut punch?

So, you don’t really have a system per se, but you do have a set of core ideals. You could call this a Bird model (and… a really healthy one if it is?) or you could call it partially unburned Lion.

• You can’t help everyone in the world who needs it, but you wish you could.

Nah, it would be nice to help everyone and I’m down to eat the rich and redistribute wealth and I firmly believe the point and purpose of society is to care for its populace, so definitely the world should be designed better to make sure everyone has a fair chance at what they want…but it’s not my responsibility to fix it for everybody, nor am I capable of it. I can do a small part, and I try to, but I’m not the savior of humanity.

I think we’ve established you’re not a Badger, although Badgers don’t always fall into this trap.

• You’ve changed your mind about an old belief or moral stricture that you used to value. You got new information and you’ve tried to update your way of thinking, and you think (hope?) you’re a better person for it. Do you feel guilty about the old belief you’ve abandoned?

Do I feel guilty for abandoning it? Not if I realized it was wrong! Do I feel guilty for having had the belief? Sometimes. I was raised in an unthinkingly classist household, and I still feel bad about my instinctive assumptions about people. I’ve worked on it a lot and unpacked a lot of shit, but I was definitely an ass and I regret that.

You have a lot of healthy Bird happening. I’m starting to wonder if your Lion is the model.

If you are a Bird primary, you’re one who builds your system much more than one who adopts it. You also seem very confident in your own perceptions, not unwilling to change but not impressionable.

When it comes to less major parts of your ideals, such as the gun control thing you adjusted your stance on, do you feel satisfied after puzzling things like that out? Or do you kind of hate that you need to?

• The next one is “If I’ve decided to stand by the people I love, it’s a choice. I could make a different decision.” Vs “At the end of the day, some things are right and some things are wrong. You don’t turn your back on the people you love.”

And my problem with that is… both. It is a choice, I could, theoretically, make a different one. But I don’t think it would be right to do so. I think that I would have to have an overwhelming reason to turn my back on my people. Someone cheating one me, or coming to hold beliefs antithetical to me (like if one of my SOs suddenly went TERFy or something), yeah, I would probably turn away, but it would hurt. But it’s still a choice I’ve made, either way.

I don’t think you’re a Snake.

• When you sit down and consider the terrifying lack of objective truth in our reality, how do you feel?

But what is truth? Does this mean truths about the universe, reality, physics, etc? I surely believe there is objective truth and structure there, though I doubt if humanity can discover it all. We are clever little apes, but its a big, weird universe.

Does it mean moral, philosophical truths? Moral relativism all the way babe! I mean, I’m an atheist, and I dont believe there’s one objective truth out there laid down by something supernatural, and I think it has to be something everybody comes to on their own as an accumulation of life experiences. I’ve got a few core things I think are important and the rest just… flows. I went with “the model in our heads is good enough,” because we’ve all got to settle for that in the end, I suppose.

It’s an interesting question and none of the answers quite fit for me. I think part of my trouble with the quiz is how abstract the questions are. “Do you like shortcuts?” Well, I dont know, quiz, what on earth is the CONTEXT? I understand why it’s written that way, but I do wish it was a bit more choose-your-own-adventure, handing me scenarios instead of philosophical abstraction.

You could be a Bird primary.

• When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?

Research, and talking to my people, and then I think about it a bit. Or I just go with my gut and try to figure it out later. Either way I will spend a lot of time thinking about it, either trying to choose or trying to parse the choice I made.

Yeah, you might have to puzzle out which of these is the model yourself. This is a pretty subtle distinction. @wisteria-lodge and I both have posts about this. The appropriate tags on my blog are #ravenclaw primary and #gryffindor primary –if you can get Tumblr to function as intended (mobile search is very very flaky), those should get you the info you want, along with lots of accounts from other people Sorting themselves.

I’m starting to lean towards Bird for you, actually. But again, this is one pair that can be hard to tell apart, and sometimes it gets harder the closer you look at it. Maddening.

• Would you feel worse abandoning a stranger in need or turning your back on your closest friend?

Another one where I want context. If we’re talking identical scenarios – say, they’re drowning – I’d save my friend over someone else, except for maybe a small child… maybe? Honestly I’d probably try to save both and end up dying. But I do prioritize and I’d help my friend over a stranger, sans specific extenuating circumstances on the part of said stranger.

Once again, I don’t think you’re a Snake. I think you’re a Lion with loyalty baked into your intuition, or a Bird who’s picked up some Snakey philosophy.

• After spending some time trying to decide between two options, you are convinced that A is the right thing to do. The people around you, though, are just as convinced that it’s B. How do you feel?

Like I haven’t explained well enough, because they’re not getting why my opinion is the best one. Seriously though, it would make me wonder if I missed something, and I’d probably spend more time talking and researching to compensate. On the other hand… context… am I choosing colleges here (yes, folks, give me your input!) or whether or not to get an abortion (where I would value the input of those directly connected to me, but in the end it’s 100% my choice and those who disagree can eff off.)

When you’re choosing a college, you’re making a tactical decision, not a moral one. Gathering information from others is a Bird secondary thing: you’re doing research.

When you’re making a moral decision, that’s where your primary is involved, and here your answer is strongly Lion.

[I’m skipping a few of the next questions because they don’t give strong information for you specifically. Mostly what they get at is, you’re not a Badger, especially not an unhealthy Badger.]

• Does your internal moral compass know something you don’t?

Well… maybe? I feed a lot of stuff into my brain, and I don’t always know what I think until the words have fallen out of my mouth.

I gotta say, I’m a Bird primary and this sounds terrifying to me. Sometimes I need to write about something before my opinion fully forms, but I write and think so much because I don’t trust myself to talk about it until I’ve poked the issue a bunch on my own.

The only exception is that there are a few people who will take me at my word if I say I haven’t made up my mind about an issue yet, and will listen to me debate it with myself, without judging me for not immediately agreeing with the stance they’ve already taken.

Not everyone is the same, of course, but this answer is a very Lion one.

• If you get a chance to make the world a better place, you have to pursue it– even at the expense of your happiness and personal relationships. Do you think this is a true statement?

If I could throw myself into a volcano to fix everything that is wrong with the world, I would cry and hug everybody I love and regret the hell out of what I was about to do to them and then chuck myself in the damn volcano. I think not doing so would be more selfish.

That is... a totally different thing than this question asked! 😂

However, you've established in previous questions (some of which were cut for length) that you don't feel responsible for fixing/changing the world as a moral imperative, so your answer to this is actually more interesting, lol.

I don't know what it actually says about your Sorting, but I'm leaving it in because it made me laugh.

• Do you think you’re a good person?

Another easy one. Define good! I try to be, within my own belief systems. But I know a lot of people who would not think I’m a good person, because in their belief systems I’m not. I think some of those people are good people, I think some are bad people. Life is complex. I do my best.

This is a pretty Birdy answer. You keep going back and forth! :p I'm probably going to end up leaving you with an ambiguous answer, huh?

If you're a burned Lion, you sound awfully chill about it and you use your ridiculously strong Bird model in an unusually healthy way, for a Lion. Lots of Lions with Bird models really struggle to reconcile the different priorities.

If you're a Bird, you have a ridiculously strong Lion model that seems to actually override your Bird sometimes--but Bird systems are complex and can include weird recursive rules like "in this situation, this other Primary is more right so we use that." Also, your understanding of your system seems more hands-off than a lot of Birds.

• It’s important to do the right thing, even when it feels wrong.

…yeeeeeees…. but. Why does it feel wrong? I would want to investigate that before doing the thing, because if it feels wrong, maybe I’m missing something that my subconscious caught. If I investigate that and am sure about the right, I think… I don’t know. I’m not sure I could do something I felt super icky about even if it was quote-unquote right?

Oh hey, that's my approach to Lion primary too. One point for Bird + loud Lion model?

By now I bet you either have a strong feeling about which of the options I've narrowed down is you, or you'll think about it and go back and pore over the archives here and on the other Sorting blogs. And then you'll think about which approach you took and what kind of a hint that is, which is basically meta-meta-analysis. Except now I've written this and you've read it, so you'll be wondering how reading this will affect your judgment, so it's meta-meta-meta-analysis now.

...I'll stop. 😉

Secondaries

Future Paint here. Tumblr discarded the ENTIRE second half of my response to this post, because I saved it and then hit post without refreshing the page, so it posted the old version, because of course it did.

The tl;dr is that I believe anon to be a rapid-fire Bird secondary with a Lion model.

Brb while I reconstruct this post.

• Do you like going into situations with a plan?

• When you spot a metaphorical obstacle in your path, what do you do?

I would love to, and some situations I do– job interviews, for example – but sticking to a plan is not my strong suit. I can follow a schedule, to some degree, and I can kind of make plans… but then I trip up because how can I account for all contingencies? So I usually end up chucking the plan and YOLOing my way through something on a wave of accumulated knowledge and practice experience.

Not all Birds are big planners. The defining thing is preparation, and that can mean hoarding skills, knowledge, tools and contacts, not just making plans and decisions in advance. A Bird might, for example, decide not to schedule their vacation, and instead read a couple travel guides before they go but wing it when they're there.

This question is one of those where I’d love a less abstract scenario. Because… it depends. In a video game I’ll usually go around. In real life I’ll stop and panic for a minute or a day, then get up and deal with whatever needs dealing with. Unless its a super immediate issue, and then I’m in the middle of it already and have to put off my existential crisis until later (see prior example of “breaking up a dogfight by sticking my arm betwixt them,” see also “i spent much of my teens rolling out of bed at 3am and getting dressed to go help with a foal delivery and I didn’t really start thinking until like twenty minutes after we arrive and start dealing with shit.” Like, I was making decisions and thinking about things, but… its different. They’re not reasoned choices, they’re “this has to be dealt with NOW so do what you can and sort it out later.”)

• Do you like to gather all possible information before making a decision?

I guess I land on needing to understand your problems. You can’t put them off forever, but if you’ve got the time to do some research and contemplation aforehand, that seems like the better choice.

I need you all to know that I didn't cut this dogfight story--I'm not depriving you of whatever wild ride anon had, it's just as much of a Noodle Incident to me as it is to you. However. I don't think I need to argue *too* much that anon has a Lion model.

• Is knowing things or knowing people more useful when solving problems?

Another tricky one, because I think all the answers are correct. I do like to know what’s going on, but at a certain point that IS just stalling. But! It’s true that making decisions without understanding the full picture CAN really mess you up! But it’s ALSO true that, in many situations, I can change my mind if I learn more. I think I lean towards doing All the Research before making a choice, but I’m pretty sure that’s largely a procrastination tactic.

Birrrrd.

Both. Ideally, one would know a range of People who know/have many Things. I’m a big fan of bartering my own skills and knowledge in return for those of other people – for example I am the go-to research person, because I’m pretty good at sourcing info and condensing it into “here’s what you ought to know, here are your options, and here’s where you can go for more information,” a thing which I do freely for my family. In return they do things I can’t or don’t want to, like my taxes or getting things off high shelves or making travel plans or whatnot.

• When your plan fails, what do you do?

I’m better at accumulating knowledge than connections, but I think the right connections are more often useful than said knowledge.

As @wisteria-lodge has said before, some Birds accumulate contacts the same way they gather other tools. They like the be the person to say, "I know a guy."

You're VERY clearly not a Badger. I've cut all the questions that were like "do you do [Badger Thing]" and you were like "NO" so. I don't think you'll need convincing on this point lol

See above… panic then act, unless I don’t have time, in which case act and then panic. Solve the immediate problems, clear some space to breathe, then deal with the rest.

• Do you collect things? Facts, objects, hobbies?

……. do links full of interesting things I fully intend to get around to reading and understanding someday count?

…yeah, this is where I take a look around at my books, games, Interesting Facts, various half-compentent hobby activities, and enduring rage that I cannot possibly know All The Things because I am a mortal subject to the finite bounds of my life and acknowledge that yes. I hoard the SHIT out of both physical and intellectual stuff.

• Do you ever study or plan excessively for things that aren’t useful? Just for fun?

I’m torn between yes, and yes but they have a purpose. I do enjoy learning, i was always good in school, when I could be bothered to care. There are a few topics I enjoy for their own sake – language and history and anything world-building, really, anything to do with who we are and how we got there. But I won’t usually go in depth; most things I skim enough to understand the basic concept and move on, leaving those things as cocktail facts. “Oh, you’re an astronomer focusing on the moons of Jupiter? I read $JupiterFact a while back, what are your thoughts?”

• Do you act differently in different groups? Does it bother you, if you do?

Like, I dont care about the moons of Jupiter unless Titan or Europa or whichever turns out to have life, but space is neat and I’d be excited by that conversation and I’m intrigued by the concepts even if i don’t have the inclination to deep-dive the topic.

These 3 question/answer pairs explain pretty clearly why I think anon is a Bird secondary...

Not very often, and not much. I absolutely utilize code-switching, but I’ve felt bad about not opening my mouth at times when I worked at a place that assumed I was a good little Christian white girl… I’m usually too afraid of repercussions to say anything, but I remember my supervisor saying an atheist billboard was “too much” and I just said “no, of course it isnt” and we gave each other a look like “… well this isn’t good…”

• When solving problems, is your first reaction seeing what “tools” you have in your pockets?

In general though, I’ll use a mask when I need to but I’m just kinda… me.

...and this was what cleared up the Lion secondary model for me.

• When you are deciding how to react to a situation, are your choices most affected by internal (how you feel, what you think, what you want) or external inputs (what’s happening around you)?

…I’m really not sure. I don’t think i actively assess the tools, physical or mental, that I have to hand? I generally know if I DON’T have the resources to deal with something, but if i do have them, I just do the thing and don’t think about it.

That's normal. You just know your toolset well enough that you don't have to think about it. Some Birds don't, or their toolset is eclectic enough (or even granular enough; try remembering all the books you've read that are relevant to a given research paper topic) that they forget what they have.

I think if I knew what I felt, I’d be happy deciding based on internal things, but I don’t know that I trust myself enough.

This answer seems more relevant to your primary. Might be Burned Lion primary peeking through.

And that puts me at a hatstall again.

Sorry for the bombardment, but it seemed like this would be relevant. I know I prefer more info to less, when I’m trying to help someone figure things out, so… words. Many, many words. Thrown at you. Mea culpa.

Hope you don't mind my cherrypicking! This must have been a ton of work for you to write, and I threw a bunch of it away 😭

(Only sort of, I did read it all first.)

In conclusion

Primary: either burned Lion + healthy Bird model, or Bird + loud loud Lion model.

Secondary: rapid-fire Bird with Lion model.

Hope that helps!

[inventedbymelvin]

Science Unfair Ch.2

   The day of the science fair had arrived and nobody was excited except Melvin. It was nothing short of a miracle he could stay awake after a week of spending late hours perfecting what he thought would win him the third trophy of his school career. Unfortunately for George and Harold however, they would hear the worst of it in the form of Melvin pestering them any time he could to express his delight. 

   “I can’t wait to show it to you two! It’ll be great! Maybe I’ll let you borrow my invention too, though it might not help you. Teachers seem to grade your papers quickly anyways.” It was normal to see Melvin excited about science, but some still found it a bit strange he now sat with the two boys at lunch. They were starting to regret it a little bit too.

“Should we have really invited him? All he’s doing is talking about himself.” Harold sighed, considering plugging his ears with the stale squishy bread from his unappetising sandwich. 

“He didn’t stop you when you completely focused on why we should have sympathy for that bad guy in Screaming Things season five, we should....support him. If we don’t he might get worse and start a musical number about how he’s better than everyone else.” George patted his buddy’s back and tried to choke down a fish patty sandwich. 

“Yeah, you’re right. I just need a break from...this whole situation.” Harold gestured to the ginger still babbling about something until a hand bopped the top of his head and he went silent as an alarm clock when you finally shut it off. 

The two breathed a sigh of relief as Erica took a seat next to Melvin. 

“I’ve spared you some time, how have you been today? Any new comics?” 

She radiated cool energy while waiting for an answer, eating some homemade sushi rolls in a bento box. Immediately George rattled off a work in progress of the caped, underwear clad hero battling a gigantic man in space planning to barbeque the planets of the solar system. Erica interjected her critique and ideas, letting them speak without interruption. Meanwhile, Melvin slowly came back from being temporarily reset. 

____________________________________________________________

    Fortnuately and unfortunately, Krupp had made the school day a half day, so the rest of the time could be dedicated to stage presentations of everyone’s science experiment. A judge’s table and rows of chairs were set up as all presentations were brought backstage and everyone had a final hour to rehearse their presentations.

Admittedly the boys found Melvin’s robot impressive but not as much as their’s would be. Their posterboard read “The Comedy of Science” with ‘comedy’ and ‘science’ scratched out and swapped. Melvin actually helped them a little by giving them the resources to study why certain things like butts and underwear were percieved as funny. It wasn’t going to win awards but at least they were passionate about it. Erica sat in the back on her phone, next to a covered posterboard and a mysterious machine under it.

   Once everyone was seated, the fair started and had varying degress of quality. Some where just volcanos again, others were poorly made volcanos, Krupp wanted to immediately ban George and Harold but the Elitinati judges said that wasn’t possible and moderately clapped after their turn. It was remembered they had turned down an offer but still had potential.

   Finally it was Melvin’s turn. Lights dimmed, 80s keytar music backed his grand entrance as he rolled out his own posterboard on a table, hyping up a practical yet somewhat silly product idea. The teacher’s loved it while the other judges simply kept a straight face. They remembered him too, having a melt down and sending a gift basket of gasses to their doorstep in hopes of entering their prestigious school. When his ended, they lightly clapped and scribbled something on their clipboards, calling for the next to come out.

Erica stepped out on stage, wheeling her rather simple cart to the middle and unveiling a small water cleaning machine. She had also handed out some booklets to the judges as she talked about her test study on how to clean up waters polluted by corporate companies. Krupp wasn’t quite sure what it all meant but Elitinati was impressed. Backstage, George and Harold desperately wondered how Erica found Melvin’s reset button.

___________________________________________________________

The results were in after 30 minutes of discussion between Krupp and the two Elitinati teachers. A woman with curly blonde hair stepped up with the microphone and an envelope.

   “After some evaluation, we’ve chosen Erica Wang as our first place winner!”

   The woman’s associate brought out a large trophy, ready to hand it to their winner. Instead of the next world president, Melvin was there making grabby hand motions at the trophy. Mr. Krupp pulled him, back whispering something in his ear and keeping nearby. Erica walked on stage and was given her prize.

  “Our second place winner--” Melvin’s ears perked up a bit in excitement. “--goes to George Beard and Harold Hutchins!” He was immediately held back as the two boys claimed a silver homecoming mum sized ribbon decorated with little science trinkets. “Third place goes to Melvin Sneedly!” She announced as Krupp pushed him towards the center for him to accept an average sized ribbon with a bronze medal in the middle of it. He then quietly shuffled off stage as the announcer seemed a bit worried but closed off the event and dismissed everyone home.

____________________________________________________________

  After packing up his things and walking home, Melvin changed all social media to have a fully black or no icon at all. Everything showed he was offline and 'studying'. George and Harold attempted to contact him both online and by visiting but it was no use. The most they got was their new frenemy shouting to leave him alone from his window. “I bet he just needs some space, let’s go try to make something to cheer him up.” George suggested as the two ran off back to their treehouse.

  That night, the devastated in denial got even less sleep as he woke up from a nightmare in a cold sweat. Melvin sat in a desk in front of a teacher’s desk and chalkboard with a paper in front of him. The paper was a small quiz with one equation on it with the simple objective to solve it. He desperately looked at the sheet for some answer yet he could not come up with one. It seemed impossible. He swore he knew it but couldn’t figure it out. Suddenly his whole class was laughing at him, as his two frenemies and Erica stated it was simple to solve. That only made him more frustrated as the teacher stepped up to him with a familar voice.

 “I know you can do better. How could you let those two empty jars beat you? How could you let the future president defeat your one claim to fame?” Melvinborg’s voice echoed. He tried to explain through his choked voice, tears starting to form to no avail as more defeating statements echoed through his ears.

   Suddenly he fell, landing on a staircase leading to clouds with hope he could find some consolation in who was on top. Carefully he climbed, only to find George and Harold with much larger brains and an enthusiastic greeting. “Wasn’t that quiz so easy?” Harold asked. “Almost child’s work.” George replied.

   This caused Melvin to wake up sobbing, alerting his mother to enter the room and try to calm him down. Despite her best, it wasn’t enough.

(Same rules as before, questions push the story and will be taken until Monday. Tuesday at the latest. ) 

[98prilla]

Absorbing Anxiety

Based on @loveceit ‘s concept of Virgil being able to absorb the worries of the other sides! It was such a great concept and I loved it, so here’s my little take on it. Please let me know what you think!

They were all in the kitchen of the mindscape. Usually, they each grabbed food individually or just conjured up stuff when they wanted to eat, but Patton insisted once a week they all cook and hang out and eat with each other. A family supper, you could say.

Currently, Patton was looking over Roman's shoulder, trying to instruct him in making spaghetti sauce. Virgil was sitting at the kitchen island, watching them bicker, absolutely sure they were going to start the stove on fire. Then it would spread to the rest of the kitchen, the table, their rooms, it would be nothing but searing heat and dancing flames. He could taste the ash in his mouth, feel the smoke choking his lungs, his skin burning and blistering as he fought through the fire, trying to escape, but it was everywhere, there was no way out.

“Yo, edge lord!” He jerked at Roman's voice, cutting through his daydream. Or day mare? Whatever.

“what, prince of annoying me?” he asked, glaring slightly up at him from under his bangs.

“Honestly Roman, did you even bother to read over the recipe for this dish before you began cooking?” Logan asked, entering, distracting Roman. Virgil breathed out a slight sigh, glad to feel the attention shift away from him.

“Please, I’m a master chef! I can improvise with the best of them!” He replied, spucking spaghetti sauce against the wall as he gestured with the spoon he’d been using for stirring. Virgil snorted and Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses.

“He’s doing great, Logan! He just needs some more practice.” Patton countered, gently taking away the spoon from Roman anyway.

“So did Undyne” Virgil muttered to himself. He didn’t notice Logan’s attention shift his way, or the hint of puzzlement that slipped into his gaze. Virgil had seemed more, well, anxious of late, and he was going to solve this mystery.

They were at the table, Virgil having set the places while Logan monitored the kitchen, which helped put his mind at ease about the whole fire thing. Despite Roman’s best attempts, the pasta was quite good, and Virgil could practically live off garlic bread, which always accompanied this meal. It was relatively quiet as they all ate. Usually Patton would finish first, and then quiz everyone else about their day.

They all had their own schedules, though obviously they worked together quite a bit. Logan got them all up by 9am usually. They would all scrounge for breakfast, or Patton would make pancakes. Usually Roman would grumble and moan for twenty minutes before actually getting up, while Virgil was one of the first in the kitchen, making coffee. They’d socialize a bit, then split off, Logan trying to make sure Thomas followed his schedule, usually having to reign in Patton, who wanted to chase after every dog they passed on the street. Roman was usually brain storming or questing through the imagination for new and interesting ideas, sometimes bringing the rest of them along. Virgil hated to admit it, but he actually kind of liked these excursions. It was a bit like playing live d&d. He was a rogue type, obviously. And other than that, Virgil kept Thomas aware of his surroundings, of any dangers, of impending deadlines, of things that needed to be worked on urgently and things that could wait. Usually they all had some down time in the evening they spent together, or with Thomas as well, then it was off to bed. Virgil usually was up the latest, going down rabbit holes of conspiracy theories or loose ends from the day, trying not to keep Thomas awake.

“Could you pass the bread, kiddo?” Patton asked. Virgil smiled, coming out of his thoughts.

“anything for you, Pat.” He replied, passing the plate across the table to Patton. For a moment as the plate passed from one hand to another, their fingers touched.

Insecurities. About being too silly, not being taken seriously, not being listened to, being dismissed. He only wanted to help, but it seemed nothing he did was ever good enough, or just caused more harm. All his nostalgia and daydreaming just distracted from what was important, what was real and there and now, but he couldn’t let go of the past, even when it hurt. So he clung to it like a lifeline even when he knew it was better to let go, and it hurt…

Virgil bit his lip as he pulled his hand away, making sure no one else saw the slight flicker of shadow that vanished into his skin, absorbed by his being. He noticed with satisfaction that Patton chartered away the rest of the meal, eyes bright and filled with excitement, all the clouds gone from his mind. He didn’t notice Logan’s appraising eyes on him. Virgil went to bed early that night.

                 Roman was pacing the living room. Virgil was sitting on the couch, headphones on, playing some podcast he was only really half listening to as he watched Roman endlessly walking back and forth, wearing holes in the carpet. He was muttering to himself too, which was never a good sign. With a sigh he pulled the headphones down around his neck.

         “Having trouble, Romeo?” He asked, smirking despite himself. It was always fun to see Roman in a bit of a pickle, it didn’t happen too often that creativity couldn’t think of anything creative.

         “I’ve been brainstorming for hours, and I’ve got nothing, nada, zero! It’s hopeless. I’ll never have another idea.” He plopped dramatically onto the couch, arm splayed across his forehead. Virgil snorted.

         “Please. You’re literally the embodiment of ideas. How hard could it be to think of an idea for a video?” He asked, and Roman immediately sat up, a gleam in his eye as he looked at Virgil.

         “Oh alright. Hit me with something. Give it a go. What’ve you got, off the top of your head?” Roman asked. Virgil didn’t even blink.

         “Ghost hunting. Get an audio tape, an emf reader, and boom, video.” Roman shook his head.

         “You know that will scare Patton to death, and Logan will be talking our ear off the entire time about the scientific impossibility of ghosts. In the end, Thomas won’t believe we’ve found something even if a full bodied apparition appears in front of us.” Roman replied. “Anything else?”

         “Hmm could do more gaming stuff with his friends. Everyone seems to love that, haven’t done a Kingdom Hearts episode in a while. I know you love Disney.” Virgil teased.

         “Tempting, tempting, but been there done that. I’m trying to think of something different, something we haven’t already done before.” Virgil groaned, leaning back against the couch.

         “Alright, maybe this is a biit harder than I was giving you credit for. But you’ll think of something. It’s what you do. Go run around in the imagination for a while, beat up the dragon witch, I dunno.” Virgil replied, reaching up to push back his hair, grazing Roman’s arm with his own as he did so.

         Worries. Nothing he did was original anymore, was showstopping, amazing, attention getting. It was only a matter of time before everyone found out he was a fraud, before he ran out of ideas permanently, and then Thomas’s career would be over. He’d have ruined it for all them, for Thomas, let them all down. Or worse, he’d be deposed by Remus. Thomas’s content would turn into a dumpster fire and all of his loving fans would turn against him, the backlash would be on national TV, he’d be the laughing stock of the entire internet, no one would care about him anymore. And he’d be powerless to do anything about it, because deep down, he was just a faker. He was nothing, nothing at all.

         Virgil barely registered Roman’s rushed farewell as he hurried off to his room, alight with some new idea he needed to start sketching out before he lost it. Virgil flipped his hood up, looking at his arm. It took the darkness longer to fade this time, and he didn’t know why. It had never felt like this before, so overwhelming, so built up. He drew in a breath, trying to contain his own spiraling thoughts.

         It had to be something to do with being originally a “dark side” now living in the “light side”. It had to be something to do with the others. Deceit, if he had to place his bets. Because of him, he was so full on his own personal stress and worry that it was harder and took longer to absorb the other’s. But he had to. If they wanted to get anything done, he had to. He could handle it. He always had, anyways.

           It was dark. Whispers chased him through twisting corridors, faint voices that whispered he was worthless, he’d never be forgiven, he was unworthy of their love, he was a liar and a fraud and a cheat. He ran faster, trying to outrun those words, trying to scream, to say it wasn’t true, but his words caught in his throat until he choked on them, falling to his knees, unable to breath. The whispers buzzed around his head, burrowed into his skin, each one biting deeper than the last until there was nothing of him left and he dissolved into a shadow. Desperatly, he tried to reach the others, but they couldn’t seem to hear him.

         He watched them wait for him for breakfast, only for him to never arrive. Saw them knock on his door with worry, force it open to find no sign of him. He saw Patton crying, sitting on his bed, hugging tight the card Virgil had once made for him. He tried to reach out, to comfort him, but the scene burned away, flaking away like ash, leaving him once again in suffocating darkness, knowing there was nothing, nothing he could do.

         He jolted awake to a knock at his door, breathing heavy and panicked, unsure for a moment where he was.

         “Virgil? May I speak with you?” It was Logan. He furrowed his brow, looking at the clock beside his bed. It was early, seven am, but Logan was usually an early riser. Then he looked down, biting back a yelp.

         His arms were covered in inky shadows, no doubt the result of his nightmare. It looked almost like his skin was luminescent with darkness, like he was becoming a shadow himself. His breath hitched again at the thought. What if his nightmare was a warning? What if he was going to fade away and only be able to watch as everything fell apart, and no one would be able to keep Thomas safe anymore, and he’d no doubt do something stupid and get himself killed.

         Or worse, selfishly worse, what if nothing changed? What if Thomas was happier, what if he was more productive? What if he got videos done on schedule and came up with innovative ideas and found someone good to love, because all this time he had only been standing in Thomas’s way, and they’d all been too blind to see it?

         “Virgil?” He barely heard Logan’s voice anymore. His airway was constricted, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. The room was swirling, closing in around him, and he didn’t have any space, any air, there wasn’t any room, any light, any sound…

         “Stop it.” He whispered, the buzzing words swirling around him, eating away at him. He covered his ears, tears tracking down his face as they grew louder and louder, drowning him out. Coward, useless, stupid, foolish, childish, dreamer, idiot…

         “STOP IT!” He shouted, and suddenly the whispers ceased, the darkness vanished from his skin, the room expanded and it was blessedly silent. He collapsed against the bed, curling into himself, unable to stop shaking. It was so much, when had it all become so much? How did he ever do this without any problem? This was his job, it was what he was made for, made of, why was it hurting so much now?

         “Virgil. Please. Please just… just open the door.” Logan’s voice was steady as ever, but something about it, the tone, the octave, made Virgil listen without registering what he was doing, and his door clicked open.

         He heard footsteps, slow and soft, like Logan was afraid of scaring him away, like he was a startled deer ready to bolt at any moment. He felt the bed shift beside him, felt Logan’s weight on it.

         “You’re not feeling well.” It wasn’t a question, and Virgil didn’t bother answering, no point in denying it. Then Logan reached out.

         “Don’t-“ He yelped, trying to pull back, but Logan had already grabbed hold of his wrist. As he watched, it turned almost translucent, revealing the shadows swirling around inside, thick and viscous, like a combination of oil and smog roiling beneath his skin. He heard Logan inhale sharply, felt his eyes on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up. To see the disgust and fear and pity on his face, to see him recoil now that he’d seen what lay beneath the surface, now that he knew what he really was.

         “I thought so.” Was what he mused instead. Virgil’s head jerked up, looking at Logan, who was staring into the distance, as if calculating something in his head. “How long have you been using this ability?” He asked. Virgil hunched his shoulders, hugging his knees to his chest.

         “What ability?” He muttered. He felt Logan’s stern gaze on him again, then heard him sigh.

         “I noticed you doing it to Patton the other night. You touched his hand, then he became noticeably more… well, cheery. And Roman, the other day. He’d had writers block for hours, then two minutes with you and he’s writing up a storm. I’ve noticed other times, too, where short interactions with you suddenly leave one of the others more lighthearted and you more downcast, especially and concerningly so as of late. So, I will ask again. How long have you been using this ability?” Virgil bit his lip, hesitating, before shrugging.

         “Always. I’ve always had it. Always used it, even when I was... was one of Them. Makes sense, right? Anxiety can absorb other Sides’ anxieties. Makes it easier for everyone to function, doesn’t impede me doing my job. After a while it just, I dunno, fades away from me.” He replied.

         “But now it isn’t, is it? Instead of gradually fading away, it is instead accumulating to previously unforeseen levels, perhaps dangerously so and to your detriment.”

         “I’m fine, teach. Just some added worries. Nothing I can’t handle.” Virgil replied, giving Logan a smile, stretching. Logan simply frowned.

         “You’re not fine, Virg. I could feel you, the whole mindscape could. You’ve never felt like that, not even during a panic attack. This, what you’re doing, I don’t know why it’s hurting you this way now, when it wasn’t before, but you need to stop using it, at least until we can figure out why.” Virgil looked like he was going to argue for a moment, but then he deflated, seeming to sink into himself.

         “then what good am I? If I can’t even do my job, what’s the point?” He whispered, voice shaking.

         “Oh Virgil. This isn’t your job. It’s not your job to take away everyone else’s worries, it’s not your job to put all of that on yourself, it’s not your job to keep it all inside you until you fall apart and your emotional well being is compromised. Your job is to keep Thomas safe, and doing what he needs to, in order to survive.”

         Then Logan was suddenly hugging him. He blinked in surprise before leaning into it, letting all his own stress cry itself dry. Virgil was too preoccupied to notice, but Logan wasn’t, as he watched some of the darkness swirling inside Virgil slip onto his own skin, and sink into it. He felt a bit heavier, a bit more stressed for no particular reason than usual, but it wasn’t cumbersome, and it wasn’t a hinderance to his function.

         He realized that just as Virgil could siphon away other’s stresses and worries, he too, could siphon away some of Virgil’s. He wondered if all of the others could do it. It made sense, that it would work both ways. He supposed it would naturally fade away over time, but that it faded faster the less there was, just as worries, once stacked on top of each other, lingered longer than if they had been one single thought.

         He ran the calculations in his mind. He could take a bit from Virgil, make sure it dissipated fully, then take some more, and soon he would be back to normal levels. As long as he monitored the situation, and started easing some of the added worry before it built up to such high levels again, it shouldn’t affect either of them. He would have to be discreet, of course, just as Virgil didn’t want anyone to know he was siphoning away their anxieties, Virgil wouldn’t approve of Logan taking away his.

         “It’s ok, Virgil. It’s ok.” Logan whispered, hesitantly stroking Virgil’s hair as he rocked him. He generally wasn’t the one dealing with emotions, and was slightly out of practice in comforting people, but his efforts seemed to be working as Virgil’s sobs slowly came to a halt, and he drew away, wiping his eyes.

         “I don’t know why it’s so much. Why it… it hurts, so much. It’s never been like this before, never. Something must be wrong with me, something isn’t working right.” Virgil rambled, wiping his nose on his sweater sleeve.

         “Just take a break from using it for a while, alright? You have so much accumulated right now, it just needs more time to break down. Don’t use it for, let’s say a week, and then we’ll see how you feel. As long as you are honest with me about the state of the build up. Ok?” Logan asked, Virgil meeting his eyes as he nodded.

         “Ok teach.” Logan smiled softly.

         “good. Now, do you want to try and get some more rest, or do you want to come help with breakfast?” Virgil smiled wryly.

         “I think sleep is out of the question. Might as well make sure the kitchen doesn’t go down in flames.” They made small talk the rest of the morning as they cooked, the repetitive pattern of it soothing Virgil’s mind somewhat, letting him relax without realizing it, making Logan sigh with relief.

         It seemed he’d managed to get this power of Virgil’s under control once again. But that begged the question, if it had been previously under control, who had been siphoning away the stress from Virgil? Certainly not Remus. So, it must have been… Deceit?

Not for the first time, Logan wondered how close Virgil had been with the others before moving to the other side of the mindscape. Close enough that small touches of affection were acceptable, if Deceit truly had been managing Virgil’s skill. Yet Virgil seemed to hate him so vehemently now. He sighed, flipping pancakes. That was a mystery for another day.

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 10

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online. Day 271: Work was dominated by Qfiniti again, including a meeting with Jon and staff from the States, where I found my self taking control to get the next steps in process (and then, Dave Stewart, the SCCM engineer fucked off and put an OOO message on Teams telling me he’s off until Tuesday (it’s Thursday)...and I am off on Monday!) But, I have to say this project does float my boat. Got a text message and then a call from PCH for another laser eye appt this coming Monday at 12.30pm. I mentioned to the lady that phoned that I will have to square it with work (I won’t, but she doesn’t know that) as I can’t afford to lose my job - it just seems the hospital, while under pressue with the admin and the clinic availability - I get it! - just aren’t seeing the issues for the patients. Plus, Peterborough has been declared a Tier 3 from Sunday under the new lockdown scheme, the highest tier. Great...I really want to travel to a highly infected area! managed to find an online booze shop that does Gordon’s and Famous Grouse and will deliver beforee Chrimbo, so I’ve placed the order for dad and Rita’s gift. I spoke with Dad today, he hasn’t heard about his vaccination yet which is a surprise (he’s in the first draft being over 80)

Day 272: Typing on day 273. Work was that manic shit at the end of the dya when I’ve got time off. I am only off on Moday but still had to tie up loose ends, complictaed further by Jon being off next week and Sueanne off this week and the Qfiniti project! In the evening I only mamaged three beers. I ate too much. Plus my sugars were all over the place and way too high! I ordered a torch a couple of days ago (£17), it arrived today. It takes rechargeable batteries or 3 AAAs. Apparently, to get the best performance (i.e. brightness) you need the rechargeable batteries in it, so i charged ‘em. Fucking hell, I’m glad I did - it’s brighter than the sun. It opens up my late walks in winter, for sure.

Day 273: While it was a very late (but sober) night yesterday (gone 4am before lights out) I was up before midday. Usual walking etc. plus gave the bathroom a clean (albeit with wipes, but I did mop the floor - and used the water to also mop the kitchen). Now I am about to stick a pizza in the oven, plus wedges (to have with microwaveable chip shop curry sauce) and watch This Is 40 which is coincidentally on telly tonight - the coincidence being clips of it are on TikTok a lot right now. I am on my second beer and am going to have a smoke right now as well. Lastly for this entry, I have been using my AudioPro speaker today, it pisses me off it’s not WiFi capable but, thru Bt, it does sound fucking good - revisiting James works very well to demonstrate the speaker’s prowess.

Day 274: I have another Paypal a/c. I have been getting emails to my standard gmail account from Paypal saying they are going to charge me £9 for an inactive account which I have been largely ignoring since my paypal a/c has a specific email address. Anyway, I tried to log in, after a password reset and, hey presto, I do have another one, with £35 in it, having just been fleeced of £9 for the aforementioned inactivity, fuckers. It’s registered with the old Market Place address and phone. When I try to transfer the £35 to my card, it wants to confim it’s me by calling the phone, which I can’t amend. Oh, and you can’t contact Paypal direct. Fuck knows what to do! Other than that, usual Sunday, a tad more relaxed since I have tomorrow off, but not that much now I have an eye appointment in Tier 4 Peterborough (it’s been up’d from tier 3)! Up at 1.30 pm (I watched This is 40 and The Guvners last night with lots of beer), feeling worse for wear but, stair climb and a 6 miler acheived!

Day 275: I was at the hospital for 3 hours. The laser clinic didn’t start until 1.30pm so, why my appointment was at 12.20, not even the consultant could understand. 15 minutes of lasering - horrible but I am used to it. It took so long it pretty much fucked my day off up completely. I got a Christmas card from Karen, in the actual post, so, a mail shot. It’s depressing.

Day 276: Back to work and it’s definitely in wind down mode. I’ve decided to compile a list of things I have done this year. It will be on the postive side, such as all the steps I’ve walked and getting an article published about my photography, but it will also include randon facts like getting bitten by a dig twice and not having a haircut. I’ll get it done so I can post in at new year, hopefully be a little inspiring, a little silly and a lot of showing off!

Day 277: Work, again, was quiet. It’s fucking pissing down now, as I type at 21:50, and has been all day. It’s causing havoc and there’s flooding everywhere. I could walk down St. Peter’s Road tonight ‘cos of it (had to go up New Road, Springfield Road, down Latham Road). Soaked a lunhtime and tonight! With a new variant of Coronavirus, France stopped frieght crossing the border. That’s now been resolved but tyeh back log has/is affecting certain food stocks in the shops, of which, fresh veg might affect me for Christams dinner (I plan to do a chicken breast with stuffing, pigs in blankets, yorkshire pud and shed loads of veg. I’ll nip to Co-Op tomorrow morning and see what’s vaialble. It’s a half day at work ‘cos of Christmas Eve, so I can nip out somewhere in the car if need be, as ong as the flooding has subsided. Or I could just get shitfaced and have burgers and pizza.

Day 278: Christmas Eve. Sueanne let me finish at 11.00am so, very shortly thereafter, off for a walk I went; it turned out to be a stop/start affair - flooding as the Nene had burst its banks, ended up doing more of a circuit round town. Bumped into Andy Smith (and his son) and, after that, Ash and Denise. Ended up doing just under 11.5km in 2 and a half hours.Knackered! As I type, I have a chilli on the stove, beer on the go, all the veg and chicken breast bought with no shortages, as feared, for tomorrow’s lunch and looking forward to eating. getting drunk, smoking, listening to music, watching telly....all over the next two/three days.

Day 279: I don’t even remember going to bed last night. As a direct result I got out of bed at 2.30pm. I couldn’t even be bothered with Christmas dinner, let alone anything else like exercise. I’m just about to have chilli for dinner (it’s 8.10pm). Watch some telly then try an go to sleep before midnight. No booze! I did talk to dad earlier. Day 280: Typing on day 281. A better, more productive day. Up @11.00am exercise and walk as usual, although the walk was a different route due to flooding. In the evening I could hear ‘storm Bella’ raging, so windy! I cooked a christmas dinner of sorts, chicken breast with Thyme, all the veg, roasted spuds and parsnip, stuffing (a first for me, albeit co-op stuffing mix), Yorkshie and pigs in blankets. It was smashing! A few beers and The Hitman’s Bodyguard, alays a fun watch. A better day, as I say, but I am feeling particular deflated this Christmas. Day 281: Typing on day 282. I realised, about mid afternoon, that Monday (tomorrow) is a bank holiday so no work. It was a great realisation but, also, worrying that it dawned on my like I’m an old person! Nevertheless, a nice long walk - bumped into Baz & Kate and had a nice long chat, then El & Camila, Aaron and Eva for another, shorter chat. I also saw Denise & Ash along the way. Fog video called later in the evening for a chat too (he told me how he fell asleep at the dinner table, fuck he makes me laugh - unwittingly - when I need it most!) A regular social fest! A repeat of last night’s dinner and a few beers - it was a good day albeit I am in a proper low ebb.

Day 282: Up at midday after a 4am-er. A very long walk (1.75 hours) and a hodge podge dinner (remaining chilli, roasted spuds and peppers, steamed cauliflower and runner beans, grated cheese) - it’s nearly ready, I’ll type the review tomorrow. I realise that this is the first time in 21 Christmases that I have at least talked to K. Is that connected to my mood slump? I reckon so. So, as that fact dawned on me, I then considered, should it be the case next Christmas, it will not be the first in along time and, as such, more manageable....fuck knows how I manage to accentuate any little positive but, thank goodness I do. Day 283: Work was a sedate affair today, fuck all to do really. Sueanne is now follwing me on Insta...I shall invetsigate on how to exclude posts to individuals, methinks. Tea, last night, was fucking lovely. More of the same tonight-ish - currently I am roasting spuds, peppers, garlic, chillies, tomatoes - it’ll all go with left over pigs-in-blankets (5) and a burger. I’ll have bisto beef with mustard on it. I can’t wait! Day 284: Typing on day 285. That meal was fucking lush! Checked on the car todfay and it would not start. Something is draining the battery so I will have to give it a run every day until I can get Julian to sort it. So, I WhatsApp’d Karen to borrow the portable starter. She dropped it off for me. We had the briefest of chats at the doorstep, first time we’ve spoken in weeks. She mentioned my hair! Day 285: NYE. I have just got back from walking to Cottersock and back. I would not have been able to do so without my new torch! I finished and published my double letter quiz on FB, including to the Virtual Pub group and the Oundle Chatter. It’s had some good feedback, I’m rather proud of it. I am going to make chicken casserole now (with dumplings - a first for me, I even bought some flour), have some beers and get a bit stoned. Before that, I am going to finish off my list of things I’ve done this year, including steps wlaked and hours listening on Spotify. I am quite proud of that list too.

Day 286: I fucked the dumplings up, added too much water, so that didn’t happen but the chicken casserole was good, just about to finish it for tea tonight. I also had pizza last night and went to bed at 5am. I have had a lot of good feedback on my list of 2020 achievements. I proud of it. K sent a happy new WhatsApp last night, around 00.30.

Day 287: No booze last night, so I was up before the alarm today (about 10.00am) Two walks, one on my own, another with Fog with a couple of beers. I fucking loved it! Watching datrts (World champs semi finals - been texting Dan while the first one has been on). Going to watch The Aviator later...I’ve not seen it before which surprises me. Why it surprises me I do not know, since I know I haven’t seen it. How the fuck can I be surprised by a fact I’m completely aware of? Day 288: I didn’t watch The Aviator ‘cos Logan Luck was on at 11:55pm on ITV4. Great fildm...I can’t believe that I very nearly paid for it (rent from Sky or Amazon). A late one last night and quite pissed. Thinking about it, having afew beers with Fog in the afternoon made it quite a long sesh for me! Up at just gone midday today, nice long walk (Cotterstock) which was mde long by a painful right ankle - I must have turned or twiested slightly sometime. Still, it survived. Back to work tomorrow - Chrimbo and New Year all done and dusted for the 55th time in my life!

Day 289: First day back at work of 2021. Boris announces another full lockdown in England (there’s a new strain of Covid19 which is seeing huge numbers of infections every day, over 50,000 per day).

Day 290: Something is up with my right foot, the little toe pad. It’s bloody sore. If it gets any worse it’ll affect my walking and exercise. I phoned Anne Bennison to talk about it, she just wants me to go and see her which i donlt want to do if poss, pandemic and all that.

Day 291: Wearing my sandals instead of the M&S slippers and my foot/toepad is already feeling bteer. However, I did inspect my Merrell boots, just in case, and the sole on te right is really worn down, in just three months. I have sent a WhatsApp to CotswoldOutdoors, where I got them from....let’s see what they say! It’s all kicking off i  the US - pro Trump protestors have storm the Capitol Building, where congrees was being held. Only in ‘Merica.

Day 292: Busy at work with rolling out Qfiniti - all that project work was pretty much for fuck all since the SCCM package has to hand held. It’s feckin’ freezing today, below freezing, slippy af on my walks. I have been shopping tonight, £106 in Corby Tesco. That does include 8 cans of sapporo.

Day 293: The fracas at Capitol Hill on Wednesday left 5 dead, it looks like Trump will be impeached. He’s already said he’ll not attend Biden’s inauguration. In a fucking world gone mad, it’s another level of madness. It’s really cold -3℃ tonight, more of the same tomorrow. Makes for brisk walks. I’ve just had chicken balti pie and chips for tea. It was so nice that I burnt the roof of my fucking gob. I’m on the Sapporo and about to have a smoke then watch Jack Reacher. I’ve (kinda) earnt after the first 5 day week for a while.

Day 294: Well, last night saw another late one...5am by the time I :went to sleep. Up at 2pm today with no instention of any exercise or walking or housework or fuck all, really. But, I did my exercises and a 9 mile walk. While I walked I came across Banners, quick 15 min chat and listed to Stage by David Bowie. He’s all over the radio right now as it’s his death’s anniversary tomorrow and his birthday yesterday. It’s a fucking good live album. A few beers tonight, eating trash, watching FA Cup highlights then End of Watch later.  Posh played today (first time in a while due to Covid infections) drew away to (shitty) Lincoln 1-1. Good point as Posh were down to ten men after 67 mins for a second yellow for handball in the area. Lincoln missed the pen. Fucking funny. Chorley, the non leaguers who knocked Posh out in round 2 of the FA Cup, beat Derby in round 3 today (albeit derby fielded an academy side of 11 first timers due to Covid ) - a great day for them!

Day 295: Up at 2pm swearing blind I’d not walk or exercise (again!) but, of course I did. I’ve done over 25 miles this w/e! End of Watch was brilliant last night. Well worth a rewatch, so emotional. I am making butter chicken as I type. I’ve added extra onion, garlic and, of course, chillies. It’s the spiciest butter chicken I have ever tasted! 

Day 296: One of those frustrating days at work when no problem of request I try to resolve goes without a hitch. After a 7km walk in the evening, took the car for a spin and cleaned the bathroom. Fucking knackered. It’s 11:30pm and I’m in bed typing this on the iPad! despite getting up so late, I feel knackered. 11pm bedtime for me, I reckon.

Day 297: Fucking busy at work, the States rolled out a new Okta trust policy and it caused mayhem. Meant my evening walk didn’t start ‘til gone 6pm. When I got back, clened the hall and stairs, made chilli (which I am about to have for tea (gone 10.15pm!) and showered. I’m, again, fucking knackered! Posh played Portsmouth in the EFL Trophy 3rd round at home. Won 5-1. Nice.

Day 298: Had an electrician rouind for the EICR cetrt. He was here until 2pm and it was a pain in the arse, having to work upstairs plus, with having to cut the electricity, all the smart devices lost their settings. And it was freezing up there.

Day 299: Work was impossibly infuriating. Not one pc remote session went to plan! It was pissing down a lunchtime during my walk but, I have to say, the cheap TargetDry coat copes fine in heavy rain for short periods. Everywhere is flooding again even though the rain turned to sleet. By my evening walk, it was dry but bloody cold. Then, when I got in I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor and the bathroom’s as well. I fucking done in! Chatted to dad today - same as ever!

Day 300: What a fucking work at week! I am so glad it’s Friday. To celebrate, I ordered new walking boots: Scarpas £121!

[somefantasticplace]

THE MIRROR INTERVIEW

Bob Mortimer, the shorter half of Reeves & Mortimer, has made a fortune out of being daft. He and Jim Moir, Vic Reeves' alter ego, have become famous for making clever and surrealist comedy that looks very similar to two blokes whacking each other with frying pans, farting and wearing inside-out footballs on their heads. They have been labelled childish, silly and rude and stand guilty as charged. But even Bob was shocked when he realised his comic genius was too immature for his four year old son, Harry.

"The only bit of Reeves & Mortimer my son has ever seen is us hitting each other with frying pans," Bob says with a sigh. "He got really upset. He said, 'Why is he hitting you daddy?' I said "Well, its just being funny." Harry looked at him with disdain. 'Hitting people is not funny,' he told his dad.

"The funny thing is that me and Jim have never had an argument, ever," Bob says. "We spend half the time on TV smacking each other and arguing. But we've never had a real argument."

The pots and pans are polystyrene and most of the props are balsa wood, but he and Vic still injure each other. "When we did Big Night Out we were terrible," he says of their first TV venture. "We're rubbish at pretend punching and hitting and there were no retakes so we just had to punch each other." He winces at the memory. "In one bit, Jim had to rip off half the lid of the desk and smack me on the head with it. One half was balsa wood and the other was proper wood. He picked up the wring half!" Bob mimes being attacked by a heavy wooden desk. "It looked fantastic on telly," he adds proudly. "There's stuff coming out of my nose..."

Harry, you reflect, wouldn't be very impressed. But then Bob knows keeping millions of TV viewers amused is child's play compared to entertaining his kids. When he's not filming, he's a full-time dad. "It's shattering," he admits, rubbing tired, pinprick eyes. "My kids are three and four and in the mornings it gets to 11am and I think 'I've been entertaining the kids for five hours already." The comic never knew his own father, who died when he was six. "My father's death was probably the defining moment of my life. Which is strange in a way because I don't remember him. The only thing I can remember is him walking out of a door." He looks sad when he says this. "When me dad died he was a salesman, selling Fox's biscuits."

He was insistent about the type - crumble crunch - and the brand, Fox's. It seemed eccentric but it suddenly makes sense. He's maintaining a link to the father he can't remember.

"I don't know if he would be proud of what I do," Bob continues. "He might disapprove - I never knew him to know what he liked." "I don't want to be dull about it. I don't miss him because I don't remember him, but I do sort of know that his death made me the person I am."

What sort of person is he? "I'm a compulsive helper - that's probably what a shrink would diagnose. I always want to help." "I tried to be strong for me mam when my dad died. It was selfish, I suppose, because I knew that if I lost my mam I'd have nothing. That's what I'm like. I try to be nice to people so they'll need me, so they don't f*** off".

In all the years since he was 12, 41 year old Bob has never been out of a relationship. "I've been with my girlfriend, Lisa, 10 years now," he says.

Comedy may be the new rock and roll, but Bob's a domestic animal. Even his face is sleepy and cat-like. "Even before we had kids, we weren't exactly wild," he says. "Most of our time was spent sitting on the settee watching the box, going to Ikea, getting up late on Saturdays..."

His mum was a cookery teacher and spent the war "at the Ministry of Food showing people what to do with powdered eggs." Her son makes a fine ox-tongue, he says. "I can do all those tricky things. I can do all the jams - and I love my vegetable patch. The first time you actually plant something and it grows is magic."

Seeing Bob on the TV, zipping about like a hyperactive kid on high E numbers, it's hard to picture him making jam and tending to cabbages. But it's even harder to imagine that he was once a grey-suited solicitor, the sort of bloke that no one noticed. "They must be gobsmacked if they've seen me on telly," he says of his former colleagues at Southwark Council's legal centre. "Nobody noticed me there at all."

One night, on the way to the pub after work, a man suddenly came up behind him and held a knife to his throat. "It happened dead fast," recalls Bob. "I thought, 'I'm being mugged!' but all of a sudden he put his knife back in his pocket and said 'Oh hello Mr Mortimer, I didn't know it was you.' "It was one of my regular clients. I'd represented him in court about 15 times. He was a professional mugger."

Apart from the near mugging, life carried on quietly and Bob might have continued being invisible, except for a chance meeting at a pub in South London... with a man performing a comedy act with a ladder and a lump of lard. Bob started heckling from the audience and Jim Moir invited him on stage. There was a clap of thunder somewhere in the comic heavens and Vic  & Bob were born. From then on, every Thursday, he and Jim performed their irresistibly bizarre double act.

"When I first met Jim, Thursday nights were a bright spot in my life," Bob admits. "Working with Jim cracks me up and no one can make Jim laugh like I can."

Their pub act was spotted by Jonathan Ross's brother Adam and, on his recommendation, Michael Grade signed the pair up for Channel 4. In a hangover from those days, the duo always drank four weak pints of lager before performing a show. "We always drank," says Bob. "In the pub in New Cross we wouldn't be on until 11 O'clock, by which time we'd have had four pints. Now I'd be scared not to...

"People think we're mad because we need four pints of lager, under 3.4% proof. Four pints of strong lager and we'd be drunk. It's a fine line. You need to get that familiar feeling but it would be terrible if you were actually drunk," he laughs. "I have to admit that we were very drunk on Jonathan Ross's New Years Eve Special. I can't remember what we said. I don't even know if they showed it." When Vic and Bob were first on telly, Bob lived in a homeless shelter in South London. He'd left his native Middlesbrough to work at the council and had nowhere to live. The best the council could offer was the shelter and, as far as Bob could see, it had everything a young man could need - a roof, a bed and a decent pub nearby. He stayed there for five years.

"When we'd just become famous I used to think I'd love to be on Through the Keyhole," Bob says. He impersonates Lloyd's weird vowels and imagines him walking around the hostel: Whoo liiives heeere??"

He only left when the place went up in flames. "One of the nutters who lived there burnt it down one Easter," he says matter-of-factly. "I came back from me mam's at Easter and had nowhere to live. So I got a council flat instead." He scratches his chin. "You know, I wouldn't like to be one of those comedians straight from university," he says, thoughtfully. "I don't know how you get any perspective on it when life's always been as lovely as that. You haven't had a real life. How can you be happy?" Bob screws up his face and contemplates the present. He lives in a beautiful house Kent with Lisa and their two children. He and Vic are planning a new comedy series and have also been given lots of money for a film script which they keep forgetting to finish. A new series of Shooting Stars starts this month, with added sketches and the inspired choices of novelist Will Self and comedian Johnny Vegas to replace Mark Lamarr.

Comic quiz shows abound but Vic and Bob remain masters of their genre. Who else would have Debbie McGee abseil across the studio or have Michael Winner sniff out "dirty boys" using an elephants trunk? It is utterly, plainly, deliriously daft. But then, Reeves & Mortimer have made daft an art form.

"If you've nothing to compare it to it's not that much of a laugh in the end, being on the box," says Bob, seriously. "But I tell you something - it's absolute heaven compared to working with a council." The Mirror

Jan 2002

[michelles-garden-of-evil]

Episode 38 Review: Of Zombies and Men

{ YouTube: 1 | 2 | 3 }

{ Full Synopses/Recaps: Debby Graham | Bryan Gruszka }

Damn, Jacques is hot in that scene! There. I just had to say that before starting this review.

Hello and welcome again to my Garden of Evil, which I have once again been neglecting. Long story short: the past month has been both terrifying (for what should be obvious reasons) and very, very busy, and I’ve been spending more of my free time offline than usual focusing on things like starting vegetables for my real-life garden. I don’t foresee things getting better for at least another month, so most likely either I won’t be very active or my muse will be more active than ever. If the latter, it may mean more reviews or it may mean more silliness like the Desmond Hall personality quiz from earlier this week. We shall see.

But, for right now, shall we jump into our exploration of Episode 38?

Wait! Quito didn’t leave the chandelier hanging on the table before!

The table (post-séance) from Episode 36, for comparison.

Another night has passed on Maljardin (as indicated by Jean Paul Desmond's change in clothing) and now someone has hung the chandelier on the side of the broken séance table where it wasn't in either of the previous two episodes. "Keeping this here as a souvenir, Jean Paul?" the Reverend Matthew Dawson, who is still wearing the same outfit as two episodes ago, asks.

"No, Reverend," Jean Paul corrects him, but forgets to tell him who put the chandelier back on the table and why. Instead, he tells him that there will be another séance.

Matt accuses him of playing with their lives and he responds with what sounds like a veiled threat: "Come now, Reverend, this is no game. Surely, superstitions and fears are not going to blacken your learned convictions. All of our days are numbered." Yes, Jean Paul's in pissy passive-aggressive mode and he will remain there for most of the next three weeks. This is one of the reasons why I prefer Jacques Eloi des Mondes. He may be THE DEVIL and he certainly has his own nasty, passive-aggressive side, but he doesn't go around glowering like his descendant and he takes himself less seriously. His death threats are also way funnier than Jean Paul’s. On top of that, he has that stunning cape that he once wore to the main island, which I miss horribly. I can’t see Jean Paul moping around on Maljardin while wearing that gorgeous number, which is a pity because it looked so good on him.

Just noticed while re-watching the episode that Matt has a pompadour now. I'm going to go ahead and guess the reason based on evidence from Episode 7: he's trying to level with the groovy swingers and keep up with what's happenin', but he's too square to realize the hairstyle he's adopted in his efforts to be happenin' is ten years out of date. (I’m sure I used at least two of these outdated slang terms incorrectly. Forgive me.)

Jean Paul lying to cover up Jacques’ attempted murder. Also, a pretty shot of Fox-C’s eyes!

To no viewers’ surprise, Jean Paul is planning on holding another séance, and another, and another, until he finally establishes contact with his late wife Erica. This angers Matt, who has been a loose cannon since Episode 35 and is due to fire again soon. “You forget the medium said death points only to me!” the lovesick, grieving billionaire shouts and storms away before Matt gets another chance to air his grievances against him.

We next see him in the crypt, telling Quito to have the table and the chandelier repaired ASAP. And then he gets a moment alone with Erica’s cryonics capsule and he says this interesting, cryptic aside:

Is he only saying that because of Jacques’ frequent possessions, or does he have another reason to mistrust himself? Lines like this one make me think that maybe Dan’s suspicions are correct and he did murder Erica.

Matt grows bored waiting for Jean Paul to return, so he visits Alison in the lab. Wearing a stylish blue labcoat, she is reading through Dr. Menkin’s notes on her sister Erica and confides in Matt about her despair that she has found so few of them.

Alison and Matt in the lab.

Their conversation in this scene is quite interesting. First, she reveals that Dr. Menkin has been researching cellular reconstruction and that, using his notes (especially the missing parts), it might actually be possible to bring Erica back to life. This means that there’s a chance that it was reasonable from an in-universe scientific standpoint--if still somewhat ethically questionable--for Jean Paul to freeze Erica.

Second, she denies Matt’s accusation that Jean Paul is treating them like chattel, replying, "What you forget is his love for Erica, his need for her is what drives him, not purposeful harm to others." Has she developed Stockholm Syndrome towards Jacques/Jean Paul during her time on the island? This line makes me wonder.

Their conversation drifts to Vangie’s accident, which reminds Alison to check on her! They find Vangie in the Great Hall, walking down the stairs in her Conjure Woman robes, her arms stretched out before her in standard zombie fashion. Because she isn’t watching where she’s going and is just staring blankly, Alison guides her down the stairs and onto the couch to prevent any further injuries. At the end of the scene, Quito comes to check on her and lets out a silent scream before covering his face: most likely as a subtle cue to new audience members that the silent servant in the earlier scene in the crypt is, like Vangie, a zombie.

Alison guiding Vangie to the couch.

But can we really compare Vangie’s state to Quito’s? In book canon, Quito was one of Jacques’ slaves, whom he killed and then had resurrected to punish Raxl for disobedience. The show canon never states how Quito became a zombie, but we do know that he is undead based on his lack of a pulse in Episode 33 and Jean Paul’s reference to “a soulless corpse” in Episode 16. Vangie, in contrast, is still alive, but behaves like a zombie (allegedly) because of a brain injury caused by the crashing chandelier. Oddly enough, her body language and behavior are more in line with a stereotypical Hollywood zombie than Quito, which makes me wonder how the hell she was able to put her Conjure Woman robes back on while in a cataleptic trance. (I bet it’s just another continuity error, like the chandelier hanging off the side of the table.)

There’s a brief scene here where Matt opens one of the cabinet drawers in the lab and pulls out one of Alison’s scalpels. I don’t understand why she doesn’t keep that drawer locked on such a dangerous island.

In his and Raxl’s bedroom, Quito mixes Vangie a potion using herbs from the island to attempt to bring her out of her catatonic state. He tastes the potion and nods as though to say, "Yes, it tastes right.” Even so, it doesn't appear to have any effect on him after he tastes it, which is strange. I don’t know how to interpret this scene. It could mean anything from “the antidote only works on living people” to “the antidote only works on people who were turned into zombies the way Vangie was (and Quito was not)” to “Quito drank this same potion years ago, and that’s why he can move around, think, and feel and isn’t stuck in a catatonic state like Vangie.”

The ambiguity makes this yet another unexplained plot point in a show overflowing with them, thanks to the change in writers and producer. I want to give Robert Costello and the team of writers who wrapped up Maljardin the benefit of the doubt and say that perhaps they ignored this plot hole because Ian Martin’s notes were partially missing like Dr. Menkin’s, but most of the evidence suggests that they consciously chose to go in a different direction than the one that Martin originally intended. We know that, from Episode 30 onward, executive meddling forced him to change and rearrange events in his episodes. There is that one line from Episode 54 that reminds me of what I believe were his original intended revelations about Erica, but I suspect that I’m over-analyzing a line for which Cornelius Crane probably intended a different, less unusual interpretation than mine.

Anyway, while Quito is downstairs, Jean Paul and Jacques have this amusing exchange:

Jean Paul: "You were the disrupting influence at that séance." Jacques: "I? Do I resemble a part of the chandelier that came crashing down?"

I think you can guess where this leads. Jacques possesses him, and this time the resulting scene is the most deliciously evil one we’ve seen yet of his character:

Just after possession, zombie Vangie identifies Jacques as Lucifer, and he confirms this. Since the first episode, we have heard Raxl say repeatedly that Jacques Eloi des Mondes was THE DEVIL, but at last we have confirmation that Ian Martin’s Jacques is, even after the beginning of executive meddling.

“Devil he is. Devil he will remain till I can exorcise and destroy him,” she adds, still in a trance and still with her eyes fixed forward.

“But aren’t you finding him too powerful for all of us?” Jacques replies.

“In the end, it is we who will be too strong for him.”

“But you are already losing all the battles.” Jacques smirks and leans closer to Vangie, as my heart--and the hearts of half the original audience--skips a beat. “Look at you now, Vangie. Look at you now, able to talk only with me because, like Quito, you are living in his...half-world.” (Does this mean that Quito can speak to him, too, when they are alone and Jacques allows it?) “Who put you there?”

“Fear not. He cannot kill me. My death is ordained.”

“He hasn’t killed you,” Jacques grins. “Who knows? Maybe in your present state, you will be able to reach Erica.”

“I didn’t want to reach her for myself, but for you, Jean Paul.” (Why does she identify him as Jean Paul now, when she called him Lucifer a minute ago? Jacques hasn’t de-possessed Jean Paul yet.)

Quietly, Alison and Matt enter undetected, as she continues. “The demon Jacques Eloi des Mondes, his evil was at the table. It was his alien presence that destroyed the séance.”

She lies back down on the couch, Jacques yells her name and grabs her, and Alison breaks her silence. “Jean Paul!” she shouts, rushing over to Vangie. “Leave her be!” Jacques demands that she bring her out of the trance, but Alison says that she doesn’t know how. He shoots down her suggestion that she take her to the mainland for treatment.

“It’s mystifying to hear her talk as though you were that man, an ancestor three hundred years dead,” Matt comments, pointing to Jacques’ portrait.

“The islanders are very superstitious with strange fancies,” Jacques gaslights him. “You’re not joining that group, are you, Reverend?”

“I may join them, too,” says Alison.

“Perhaps you all need therapy, or some other kind of treatment,” Jacques says as the camera zooms into his face. He starts off with a fairly neutral Jean Paul expression--he’s been getting better at imitating his descendant--but then widens his eyes in that way only Jacques does. It's not quite Bissits Face™, but it is a very Jacques expression nonetheless.

After the commercial break, Matt asks for some clarification as to what he meant by treatment. “Relief of tension, as at a séance,” he responds with a smile.

Another argument about séances is about to erupt when Quito walks up holding a cup of his herbal remedy. Jacques identifies this as “a pinch of hope, a dash of witchcraft, a hint of prayer, as harmless as Quito himself is.” Surprisingly, despite knowing that this will take Vangie out of her trance, he lets Alison serve it to her.

When Vangie recovers, she, too, insists--also surprisingly--that they have another séance. “It’s Jean Paul Desmond himself who risks all,” she tells Matt when he accuses her of endangering the guests’ lives. Alison has Matt take her upstairs to rest while she heads to the lab to grab a tranquilizer.

Meanwhile, in the lab...

A secret door behind the cabinet opens and Jacques comes out, carrying more of Dr. Menkin’s notes. When he hears Alison’s footsteps, he shuts the door (but not all the way--oops!) and leaves them on the table. After a brief conversation about Vangie, he leaves through the lab’s main entrance and Alison flips excitedly through the newly discovered notes.

My favorite shot of Alison from this scene.

The Lost Episode summary for this episode from The Newport Daily News mentions the secret door--indicating that it appeared in the original script for the episode--but also that Vangie knows about it and that Jacques will leave her alone during the second séance if she keeps it secret. Another version of the summary from the Minneapolis Star (November 5, 1969) says that the hidden door leads to “a secret passageway,” begging the question of where Jacques has hidden the notes. It must be somewhere between the Great Hall and the lab, but where?

You know, I’m surprised that, for all Raxl and Quito’s searching for the conjure doll and the silver pin and Alison, Dan, and Matt’s searching for the missing cyanide, they haven’t found more of the château’s secret rooms and passages. It’s just as inexplicable as how Jacques still doesn’t know the location of the Temple of the Serpent after three hundred years, hours of spying on people in the crypt, and that failed investigation of it with Holly last episode--and the Temple’s entrance isn’t even well-hidden! On a show set on an absurdly cold tropical island with anachronistic period costumes, 20-year-olds who look 30 but get turned away from the bar without being carded, white Incas, a white voodoo priest and priestesses, and a man with an IQ of 187 knowingly placing a glass table beneath a loose chandelier--and that’s only listing what we’ve seen so far--this stretches my willing suspension of disbelief more than anything else.

Right at the end of the episode, we learn from Jacques that Jean Paul’s will to resist him has become stronger, making possession of him more difficult:

Does Jean Paul’s stronger will explain all the headache faces?

Coming up next: A piece of the Conjure Man’s message reminds Raxl of Jacques’ pirate ship, which gives us the perfect opportunity to explore Jacques’ former career.

{<- Previous: Episode 37   ||   Next: Episode 39 ->}

[okay-j-hannah]

Countless Assumptions

The Marauders : Fic

Remus x Reader

Word Count: 1526

Warnings: Just the undying love I have for Remus Lupin - can you feel it coming off the screen?

Request: “Hi!~ I would like to do thought prompt 36.  with Remus Lupin. I can totally see that happening. I am an introverted Hufflepuff with curly brown hair that is chubby and wears glasses. I love flowers, astrology, tarot, reading, and painting. Im not sure what im looking for but im looking for some Lupin fluff. Much fluff! Thank you so much!!💜💙💜💙💜💙” - Emily

A/N: You discover that finding out the truth was hard, but telling the truth is harder, as you realize that your absence has caused more grief to Remus than you thought

“Werewolves,” Lily deadpanned, arms folded.

(Y/N) slowly nodded, not giving up on her theory, “Yes, werewolves. It makes sense, Lils!”

“I don’t know, (Y/N),” there was a slight strain behind her eyes, but Lily attempted to keep her voice steady. “That’s pretty far-fetched. Don’t you think we would’ve seen something by now? How could someone hide that they were a werewolf for five years?”

(Y/N) slid her glasses back up her nose, “Because he has help covering it up! The headmaster has to know – and all of the Potter gang.”

Lily held her hands up, “Stop, (Y/N). I don’t want you running down endless conspiracy theories that’ll end up embarrassing you.”

“But how do you explain the one time a month he’s sick? Or how fatigued he is afterwards? Or the scars he has on…”

“I think you should just drop it,” Lily had a wide look in her eyes, almost like she was grasping at straws. “Why – why don’t you just talk to Remus?”

(Y/N) swallowed hard, finding the excitement of her research failing her instantly, “I may have been avoiding him.”

“I think we’ve all noticed that,” Lily sighed at the change of subject. “Do you have a specific reason?”

“If what I’ve figured out is true – that means we have a friend that’s a werewolf. How scary is that? I just – I don’t want to make him feel guilty for not telling anyone, you know? And I don’t think I can be around him without bursting with questions about it.”

Lily frowned slightly, “(Y/N), the whole group has been worried about you. They all think they’ve done something wrong. Remus thinks you’re entirely upset with him for some unknown reason.”

She clutched the books she was holding tighter to her chest when she responded, “They’re actually worried? About me?”

“You may be quiet, (Y/N), but we notice when you’re not there. Especially Remus.”

“I never thought – well, I didn’t think I brought much to the group. I’m so different from…”

Lily couldn’t help but laugh, “Just because you’re the only friend that’s not a Gryffindor doesn’t mean…”

“Not just that, Lils! I’m the only one that enjoys Divination, painting, art, stars.”

“You’re being ridiculous, (Y/N). Go find Remus and actually have a conversation with him. I know he misses you entirely too much.”

An instant splash of a blush crept onto (Y/N)’s cheeks as she adjusted her glasses again.

“Are your cheeks going red?”

“N-No, it’s just a bit cold in here.”

Lily smirked, “We’re literally sitting in front of the fireplace.”

“I’m going to go return these books in the library. I need to pick a few new ones for Astronomy anyway.”

And with inhuman speed, (Y/N) ran out of the Gryffindor common room and down the hallways to the library. Though she may be Hufflepuff, (Y/N) spent most of her time with her Gryffindor friends, finding comfort in their boisterous personalities. Remus always being the most reserved became an instant companion for her. They normally spent most of their time studying for classes or calmly reading novels beside one another. It was always a steady natural friendship that felt comfortable even in times when they sat together in silence.

Until recently. Developing feelings was never part of the plan. Neither was the friend secretly being a werewolf.

At the library, (Y/N) found herself waving at the ever-severe Madam Pince and skidding towards the shelves. She trailed to the corner full of information on constellations, astrology, heavenly bodies, and solar systems.

These aisles were nothing new to her, and within seconds she found the section she needed. She trailed her finger along the spines, admiring the weathered look on many of them. However, something unfamiliar obstructed her pathway – another searching hand.

Their hands met, reaching for the same book. And (Y/N) whipped her eyes to find Remus Lupin staring down at her. She could have sworn there was a flash of embarrassment in his gaze.

“(Y/N).” He stated quietly, retracting his hand and shaking his sleeve over it, “Fancy seeing you here.”

She swallowed hard, twiddling her fingers and finding her eyes gluing to the section of books beside her, “Yes, as you know, I never come into the library – ever.”

He gave a subtle smile, “What a lie.”

She dared a look at him and saw his contorted brow, “I’m sorry, Remus. I’ve got to grab this and go.” She picked the book off the shelf and took a step back, “Very busy, you know. Um… I hope you don’t mind – do you need this book right now?”

There was very clear disappointment in his face, “No… I – I was just finishing our planets map for Astronomy. Professor Trelawney wanted us to use one for our Dream Journals.”

“Right. Well, I guess I’ll…”

“Why don’t you want to talk to me?”

(Y/N) was at a standstill, one foot slightly behind her to exit, “I’m sorry, Remus. This really isn’t the time for me to…”

“It never seems like the right time anymore,” he kept his face downtrodden, his hands in his pockets. “You know since you stopped tutoring me I’ve completely failed every Astronomy quiz.”

It was like her heart was attempting a race with her lungs – each deciding to see which could move faster. “I can’t – I can’t talk about it, Remus. Not yet. I don’t want you t-to get upset.”

She turned to leave, but felt an immediate hand grab her arm, “But I’m upset now, (Y/N). I want you to talk to me – please. I haven’t seen you in ages and the guys say you’re avoiding them too.”

“That’s just because Sirius plans on asking me to accompany him on the next Hogsmeade visit. Something about trying to make a girl jealous.” Her eyes were flickering to anywhere but Remus’ desperate face.

“This isn’t funny anymore, (Y/N). Did James put you up to this? I don’t appreciate such a practical joke being played on…”

“No, no, that’s not it. Honestly, Remus, I just don’t think it’d be a good idea if I tell you.”

He contorted his brow further, defining a few scars on his forehead, “Did I do something wrong? It’s driving me crazy, (Y/N), please just…”

Madam Pince peered around the shelves and hushed them with a heavy hiss, her gnarled fingers pointing them out. Remus let go of (Y/N) immediately, not realizing he had moved to grabbing both her shoulders.

“I can’t stop worrying about it, (Y/N). It’s driving me up the wall and even Peter has stopped trying to make me feel better – all I do is pace and think aloud and wonder what on earth it could’ve been that would make you…”

“I know you’re a werewolf.”

He left his mouth open, his breathing hitching, “That’s why.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, “I didn’t want to make you upset.”

“I understand.” He turned his eyes away and clenched his jaw, “I can’t expect everyone to be comfortable around a monster.” He quickly walked around her to leave and she blinked several times in attempt to comprehend what he just said.

“Remus!”

She ran after him, ignoring the glare from Madam Pince. She trotted to his stalking figure, mumbling as she went, “Remus, you don’t get it.”

“Yes, I do. You’ve been ignoring me because you don’t want to be friends with a werewolf. That’s fine – you don’t want to be endangered by me.”

“No, no, that’s not it at all.”

“Then what is it then?” He turned to her dramatically, his voice much louder than it normally was. “Because I’ve run out of options. (Y/N), I worry about you more than I have about any other person I know. I don’t think I can function properly if you don’t give me a legitimate answer as to why you won’t speak to me.”

She bit her bottom lip, finding her arms limp at her sides, “I… you worry about me? I thought Lily was just…”

“What did Lily tell you?” He looked scared when he asked it.

“Remus, I didn’t want to jeopardize our friendship over knowing you were a werewolf before you told me. I wanted you to tell me about it when you were ready to – not because I figured it out. I thought if I distanced myself I wouldn’t feel the pressure to keep that a secret from you.”

He peered at her with a hard gaze, “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Why would I be upset you know what I am if you’re still alright with being around me despite my true form?”

She mumbled her next words immediately.

“What?”

“I also didn’t want to ruin our friendship over a silly crush.”

He paused, his posture and voice growing small, “Is it James? Sirius? We can still be friends even if…” He shuffled away slightly, a hint of regret in his features, “Even if you’re dating one of our friends.”

“Now that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” she was smirking now. “Because I was talking about you, wolf boy.”

His head snapped back to look at her, immediate hope in his gaze, “Really?”

~~~

Buy Me a Coffee?

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

I saw you reblogged gifs from Sex Education (so I assume you watch it) and I just recently binged it, after hearing so much about it and I didn’t quite know what to expect going into it. But I found myself liking it and I was surprised and happy about how many important questions and topics it actually deals with, like the important of consent, STD’s, equality, LGBT rights and so on. So I just wonder what your thoughts is on it? (Oh and I love how well written the characters are too)

I really like Sex Education. I was the same as you and didn’t really know what to expect going into it. One of my friends described it as a “classier version of Skins” and I’d say that description is somewhat accurate. It’s similar to Skins in the way that it explores the lives of college students and how realistic and honest it is in doing that. There are a lot of shows that have a young cast and are set at high school or college such Gossip Girl, PLL, TVD, OTH, BtVS, but these shows are completely unrealistic in what they portray. Most of the characters on those shows are supposed to be 17 years old but are being played by actors and actresses in their 20s or 30s, and aside from going to school they live their lives like adults rather than teens. That’s what separates Sex Ed (and Skins) from other shows in the same genre, because it is realistic. All of the young characters on Sex Ed are living their lives as teenagers and not adults. They go to college, they hang out with friends, they go to work part-time, they struggle with their sexuality, they take part in extra-curricular activities, they have difficulties at home in their personal lives and they’re trying to figure out who they are. It’s the stuff that most of us do and go through when we’re that age.

The characters are great. In fact, I think I like every single character on Sex Ed because they’re authentic characters with complexity. Most of them are built on tropes but they all exceed those tropes. Jackson is the perfect example. He’s a handsome jock, star athlete, popular and intelligent. Yet, he shatters any other tropes that would be associated with this type of character. The first trope we’d expect to see is for him to screw around, date loads of girls, be a dick and hurt them and break their heart because he’s scared of commitment. But Jackson truly falls for Maeve and cares about her. He isn’t scared of getting his heart-broken or dating around, he walks into a relationship with Maeve with his eyes and his heart wide open. When he realises Maeve doesn’t feel the same as him, he never lashes out, shames/guilts her or resents her. He continues to be respectful and kind to her. We’d also expect him to be shallow and to judge everything on looks and popularity, but his friendship (and I expect romance, in the future) with Viv shows that Jackson judges individuals based on the person they are rather than how popular they are or how conventionally “hot” they are. Again, we’d expect a character like Jackson to be hung up on his image and what others think, but he doesn’t care. Swimming is part of his image, but he doesn’t care. He decides that he doesn’t want to swim and that he’d rather act instead, and although he’s worried what his mom will say, he doesn’t care what anyone else will think. And Jackson is just one example of a character built on cliched tropes that goes way beyond them and shatters them. Otis fulfils the awkward, shy virgin trope, but he actually has such a deep understanding of sex and relationships which allows him to relate to and connect with a wide range of people. Maeve is fulfils the cool, badass stereotype but is actually very sensitive, caring, empathetic and not afraid to show kindness or love to others.

It’s not just the characters I like either, it’s also the relationships between the characters. Otis and Eric’s friendship is so beautiful. It instantly stood out to me as being special based purely on the fact that it’s a close and intimate friendship between a straight and gay guy. In my experience, I have never known a gay guy to be best friends with a straight guy. This is because of the misconceptions and stereotypes built around masculinity and homosexuality. A lot of straight guys wouldn’t be best friends with a gay guy because they’d be afraid that they would then be labelled as being gay by association. They also think that if a guy is gay that automatically means he must fancy every guy he comes into contact with and would be a sex monster. It’s so silly, incorrect and such backwards thinking, but I’ve seen it so much throughout my life. Yet Otis and Eric love each other so much and they’re so close too. Eric can talk openly to Otis about his romantic and sexual relationships without feeling like Otis is judging him or is embarassed or grossed out (again, a common theme amongst straight guys when they interact with gay guys about sex). It’s just such a great relationship. But then there’s also Jackson and Viv, Maeve and Aimee, Adam and Eric, Otis and Maeve that are all wonderful relationships to watch evolve on-screen. Even seeing Otis and Nicole come together after having sex to address the fact that she may be pregnant was refreshing. Not only does this deal with unwanted and unplanned pregnancy, it shows that when two people come together and have sex it is the responsibility of both of those individuals to deal with the consequences.

The LGBTQA+ representation is brilliant, and it’s so necessary. Even with the increased representation in recent years, there’s still no where near enough exploration of sexuality in television and how it impacts young people. So many teenagers question their sexuality or struggle to understand how they’re feeling or who they are, and shows like this can make all the difference. If young people can relate to the characters they see on-screen, it gives them a way to understand and process their own feelings. People think we’ve come so far and there’s so much understanding around sexuality, but as someone that works in high schools, let me tell you, there isn’t. A lot of young people have never heard the words bisexual, pansexual or asexual, they also don’t understand that sexuality is often fluid or that gender identity and sexuality aren’t the same thing or even necessarily connected. My only issue with the way sexuality is explored on the show is that it’s not as in-depth as it could be. For example, Ola starts to have sex dreams about Lily, takes an online quiz which says she’s pansexual and she just goes with it. It’s usually a lot more complex than that and if someone is questioning their sexuality it can take months and even years to come to terms with that and find a label that they feel comfortable with (if they want to label themselves at all). It was similar with Adam too. He develops feelings for Eric and we know he struggles with that, but then he just turns up at the party and tells Eric he thinks he’s bisexual. How does he come to this conclusion? He’s had sexual relationships with females in the past, we know this, but actually at the start of the show he’s struggling to perform sexually with his girlfriend. So why does he feel that he’s bisexual rather than gay? This is really just me being picky, because in a way I think it’s a little lazy. If a character states that they are something, then that is what they are, but I think more time should be devoted to following these characters as they try to figure out what their sexuality is and how they want to label themselves, instead of the character developing feelings for one character of the same sex and then suddenly jumping to “okay, I’m bi/pan”. Regardless, the LGBTQA+ representation in Sex Ed is amazing and defintiely somethinng that I give a lot of praise to.

Aimee’s story is also a brilliant exploration of the importance of consent and sexual assault. You can read more about my thoughts on this here. But also, hearing Jean tell the kids that it is always their right to say no is very, very important. Throughout my life I’ve had so many people tell me that they had sex when they didn’t want to because they were “just going along with it” but they tell themselves it was okay because they didn’t actually say “no” out loud and therefore it’s not rape. People don’t realise that they can start having sex with someone and change their mind, and if that person doesn’t stop, it’s unconsensual sex and therefore rape. People don’t realise that if a couple have been married for 10 years and the wife wakes up to her husband having sex with her, it’s unconensual and therefore rape. People don’t realise that if someone is drunk out of their mind and barely concious, it’s unconsesual sex and therefore rape. There are so many more scenarios like these that I see people describe as being “grey areas” and it makes me so angry, because they are not fucking grey areas at all. Consent is such a simple concept but people try to over-complicate it. People will often use the “but people don’t verbally give consent when they have sex, they just do it, so how do you know that they’ve actually given consent” - bloody ask them! There is nothing wrong with asking someone, “Do you want to do this”, “Are you sure?”, “Do you feel like this is the right thing?” or saying, “If you want to stop at anytime we can”, “Tell me if I’m hurting you or do something wrong.” If two people are having sex there should be that open communication and trust present to be able to ask these questions and have these conversations, and if there isn’t, then there has to be question as to whether they should be having sex at all. I’ll discuss the importance of communication around sex below. But when it comes to consent, I find it really alarming how much misunderstanding there is around it and how much incorrect information is given out. Consent is probably one of the most important issues around sex that young people should be educated on. It’s the very foundation of sexual relationships, because no consent = no sex.

Overall, the show explores a lot of very important topics that aren’t always featured in shows to the extent that it should be. It could definitley go further with some of the themes it explores, but it covers a lot of ground in a limited time-frame and does more justice to it than a lot of other shows I’ve seen, so I have to give credit where it’s due.

(below the cut is less an analysis of Sex Education and more of a discussion around sex/relationships, stereotypes and misconceptions around them and how poor sex education is in school).

I think it’s important for shows like Sex Education to be made not only because it portrays life as a teenager in a more realistic way (instead of creating unrealistic expectations for young people that they should be living lives of glitz and glamour where they’re at extravagant house parties every week and dating hot older men/women that are doctors or lawyers or business owners), but because it specifically tackles the topic of sex. Let’s be honest here: sex education in schools is really, really, really bad. Kids simply aren’t taught what they need to know about sex and as a result their well-being, safety, happiness and identity is often compromised. If you’re 12 years old (in the UK that’s the age you are in your first year at high school) and experiencing an attraction to someone of the same sex but haven’t been told what that means, why it’s happening or that it’s okay, how is that going to make you feel? If you’re 14 years old and in a relationship with an older guy who’s pressuring you for sex and has told you that he doesn’t want to wear a condom because it’s not as pleasurable for him, how are you going to understand that asking you to do that is not okay or articulate how you feel to your parnter? If you’re 16 and have been in a long-term relationship sexual relationship with a partner that is kind, respectful and loving but you don’t find sex enjoyable or pleasurable, how are you going to know why you feel this way or how to rectify it and discuss it with your partner? And these are just a few scenarios that I can think of off the top of my head. There are so many scenarios, topics, experiences, questions and concerns that teenagers have when it comes to sex and relationships, and unless they’re lucky and have super open, supportive and expressive parents, they most likely won’t have answers to any of their questions.

That’s because sex education (in the UK at least), is all focused on the biology; how the body changes during puberty, how sexual intercourse leads to pregnancy and the health ramifications of contracting an STI. There’s nothing about the mental, emotional and physical side of it, which in my opinion, is the most important part because that’s what directly impacts teenagers. Young people should be prepared and have absolute understanding of the kinds of experiences they may have, what to do if they ever find themselves in a situation that they feel uncomfortable with or that has made them feel insecure, upset, afraid, hurt etc., how to navigate healthy sexual/romantic relationships, what consent is and how to communicate with others about sex. For a lot of young people (and even adults!), sex is treated as such a taboo subject; they’re either too awkward, embarassed or ashamed to talk about it or have been told they should keep those sort of things to themselves. But open communication is so important when it comes to sex, particularly with your partner. I don’t agree with teenagers (below 18 at least) being in serious romantic and sexual relationships, it’s a part of life and it’s always going to happen, so young people should know how to navigate those relationships and be able to communicate with their partner effectively.

This is part of what I love about Sex Ed so much - there’s a complete openness around sex. Jean is a brilliant character and although she’s not a perfect mother, the openness she has around sex is refreshing. Sex is a part of life and it should be treated as such. Adults have this notion that they need to protect kids from sex and not give them all of the facts, but this is more likely to cause more harm in the future when these children grow up and start having sexual experiences. Jean’s openness with Otis is sometimes mortifying, but it’s also a positive thing, because she wants him to feel safe and comfortable to come to her if he’s ever struggling or confused about anything related to sex/relationships. And every child should have that; an adult that they can trust and confide in and even ask for advice on these things, because it is difficult for young people.

I also love that Jean is that she’s not afraid to talk about sex and pleasure. Again, this all stems from the embarassment and shame around sex, but people have such a problem with talking about sex (again, even adults still struggle with it) in terms of being a pleasurable and gratifying act. Kids are usually told sex is between two people who love each other to make a baby. But actually, how true is that? Sex and love aren’t mutually exclusive and it’s more likely for a couple to use contraception to prevent reproduction than it is to be trying to reproduce. Not to mention that same sex couples can’t reproduce naturally, so this explanation completely shuts down the idea of sex between individuals of the same sex, which is ridiculous. The simple fact is that a lot of the time sex is about pleasure. But as Jean discusses, pleasure is so taboo and especially when it comes to females.

I’m so glad the show shed light on this, because as a woman with female friends I’ve definitley noticed this. I’ve had female friends that have been sexually active for 10 years and that have never had an orgasm with their partner. It’s a common occurence for women to go without orgasms for most or the whole of their life, not understanding how to have one or even realising that they’re not having them. In the 21st century, sex is still defined by men and their pleasure. When people think about sex, they think about penetration, they think it begins with insertion and ends when the man has climaxed. Any porn video you watch involving a man and woman will be geared towards men. General perceptions of sex are still built around penises, because apparently they’re just so important that sex can’t be sex without them, right? Wrong! Sex is much broader than this. Women have sex with each other with no penises involved, and let me tell you, it’s still sex. Men and women can have sex without having intercourse. Men and men can have sex without having intercourse. Likewise, for women, penal penetration is not the only way to orgasm, in fact, it’s scientifically proven that it’s the hardest way to have an orgasm. Even today women don’t understand their own bodies or engage in masturbation because they feel that it’s shameful or wrong. We’re still expected to supress and ignore our sexuality and be demure and prudish. Jean absolutely smashes this notion to pieces and I love it, because women have every right to be sexually open and to enjoy sex and derive pleasure from it as men. All women should feel comfortable to masturabte, all women should be able to have pleasure from sex, all women deserve to have a partner who takes the time to understand their bodies and wants to please them, all women deserve to have the freedom to express themselves sexually in whichever way they feel comfortable with without fear of judgement or ridicule.

Sex Education is an important show because it raises questions around these topics and tackles them head-on. I’ve heard people describe it as being too “PC” and trying too hard to be “trendy”, but it’s not. All it’s doing is addressing the experiences, feelings, thoughts and struggles that young people all over the world are going through every day that are misunderstood and not spoken about. The show may not always address this issues in the best way, but it does tackle them and that’s what counts. And I, for one, am glad that shows like this are being made. The title “Sex Education” is the perfect title for this show, because it will educate many of its viewers on sex and teach them things that they didn’t know before watching. 

[ashleyswrittenwords]

How To Be A Queen [Part 6]

Note: The hurricane sucked, but I am back with another chapter and buried with homework :) 

Summary: Princess Zelda is at a loss. Her handed royal responsibilities have begun to weigh heavily on her and she is eventually backed into a corner. Live a life she loathes or run away from everything she’s ever known? Navigating life is hard, and Link forces her to learn that she doesn’t have to do it alone.

Warning: None

Previous

Next

Part 1

How To Be A Queen

"I'm a little perturbed," I said, shaking the dirt off my dark cloak. It had slipped off the bed during the night and the floors most definitely weren't the cleanliest surface in the establishment.

"Perturbed?" Link didn't bother to look up. He was sliding his newly sharpened sword in its sheath. Had he slept with it?

"Yes. A little thrown off I suppose," I yawned, it was so early! I was half awake. Link had brought me a tin cup of instant coffee with an apology on his lips when he woke me. It would have been touching if it wasn't at the crack of dawn. It felt like I had barely closed my eyes. "Why don't we have a horse?"

My feet were sore and I could feel some semblance of blisters forming in the boots I was lacing up. It was as if my feet remembered being sore and just picked up where they left off. I felt like an old woman. "While you were deep in contemplation," Link began answering, "General Nohansen told me not to take any of the horses."

"Why though?" We began walking towards the exit. Link nodded at the stable keepers on the way out and we were on our way. Back on a worn path to a place I still didn't know. Regardless, I was content with that.

"Because the horses at the castle were all pure bred and their breed just happens to be specific to the royal cavalry. It's not common that you see two peasant villagers wander about Hyrule on those."

"Are we peasant villagers now?" I asked smiling to myself.

"Would you rather be something else?"

"No, I just don't know what it's like," I said, spinning around the pan. Link was the bodyguard, the pack mule, and the tour guide. But, there was one thing he wasn't that I was – the Pan Handler. "I think if someone were to give me a pop quiz when we get to where ever we're off to, I would fail."

He only shrugged, "It's nothing special. If you want to know, we're on a great field trip to find out." Link pondered and I watched him find purchase on the back of his neck. "I suppose if you take out the fancy ceremonies and pretty clothes and the stuffy politicians, it wouldn't be far from the truth."

"No pretty clothes? A shame."

"Well, nothing extravagant as those gowns you wear. That's for sure. I like the simplicity of it."

I took the time to get a good look at him. He had changed this morning. Whether it was before I awoke or after, I wasn't paying attention. It seemed to be the same cotton shirt from two weeks ago when I ran into him. Oh, goddesses above, that was only two weeks ago? He was like a completely different man. The air around him was different. Not too different, he still had those relapsing moments where he would stiffen when I spoke a certain way. Not sure what that was about, but I wanted to think that he was loosening up around me. Perhaps I'm too trusting, but it felt perfectly comfortable to be around him. As if I was meant to be near Link.

I paused on that absurd thought. The sleeves of his shirt ended halfway, exposing his forearms. "Did you work on a farm?"

"Close, why?"

"We've only been out here for a few days and you're already looking tanner. In the winter months no less!"

"Ah," Link started, looking amused, "You did keep me up in that dark castle for a couple years. No wonder I looked like a sickly child."

I gawked, "Sickly child? I'll have you know-" I stopped myself. "Whatever. Tell me more about where you come from."

"It's not very interesting."

"I don't care," I said indignantly. He just laughed and began rattling off the things he remembered the most. I watched him as his eyes lit up as he spoke. "I had a horse too," he spoke, "A beautiful mare. I loved her to death. She was a work horse, but my sister and I treated her like the family pet. She was great, but once my mother got sick I had to sell her to get food on the table."

I opened my mouth to offer condolences, but he changed the subject before I could.

"The village we're going to has a hot spring."

Neither of us brought up the subject again.

The day dragged on and the temperature felt colder with each step. Link kept apologizing for not remembering to bring heavy coats despite knowing that we'd have no way to carry them. I wrapped my arms around me. The frozen mud had longed turned into plain frost. We were winding up a hill and towards what seemed to be a mountain pass. The sky was gray and I felt something hit my nose. It wasn't a rain drop, it was something lighter.

A wide grin grew on my lips.

"Link, look!"

Link seemed to blink a daze away and looked ahead. A small snowfall was currently under way and we were heading right towards it. "What?"

"It's snowing!" I squealed, speeding up my pace. I wanted nothing more than to make a snowman. Everything I hadn't done as a child was screaming in my thoughts. As I increased my speed the grass around my disappeared into a field of white. I looked in awe and tried to scoop a hand full into a ball. It was cold and it made my fingertips red and numb, but I didn't have the capacity to care. The snow kept falling apart, refusing to stick together.

"It's not the right type of snow for a snowball fight," he said behind me. I furrowed my eyebrows, "That doesn't make sense."

"It's too powdery right now, you have to wait for the snow to be more compact."

I frowned. What a tease.

"Come on," he held his hand out, "I promise you there's better snow farther into the mountains."

My heart surged as I grabbed his hand. His palm was rough and calloused, but hot compared to my numb finger tips. A welcomed feeling and I inwardly grieved when I let go. Without words I nodded, and we continued on.

It was so cold I was involuntarily shivering. Link had long given me his extra shirt and I could tell his one layer wasn't holding up well. Banners and symbols lined the mountain pass and it hit me where we were.

Kakariko Village.

I hugged myself and reflected on what I knew of this place. It was a humble village that was the center of the Sheikah culture and people. If it wasn't so cold I would smile. I had always loved the history of the Sheikah. One of the few people I trust deeply lives here. Speaking of her ladyship, I wondered if she went home for the holiday. If anyone could spot me in a crowd, it would be her.

The snow kept falling and it snuck up near my ankle. I could hear the sound of people singing and children laughing. Soon the pass led us to a wooden gateway and we walked through the entrance. I was eager to see people again. It seemed to be a party. A large fire was burning and music was playing. There were various tents for food and drink. Immediately my spirits were lifted.

"I wasn't really sure if this was a good first stop," Link started, almost breathless from the trek, "But I heard you rambling to Anju about the Sheikah…"

Goddesses that was forever ago. I never realized he actually listened.

"This is," I breathed, "Amazing, Link, thank you so much." We locked eyes for a moment. I'm sure I looked silly with the wide-toothed grin, but I was genuinely elated. I felt like a little kid all over again, learning from Lady Impa about her people and the ancient history they've managed to pass down. He didn't say anything and looked away. I cleared my throat and continued on the path, pushing away the thought that I said something wrong. I walked through the rows of houses, looking very unqueenly. I was sure my hair was matted and dirty. I doubt the cloak's hood would make a difference.

We walked through the throngs of people. It was a mix of tourists and native Sheikah, and for that I was grateful. A group of children danced around the bonfire under the supervision of their parents. Folklore was being passed along through song by a group of elders near the stream that ran through the village. A wave of comfort washed over me. Despite the ache of sleeping on the ground for several nights and the lack of showers, I basked in what was around me. I didn't hesitate to move towards the fire. The warmth was welcomed and a smile of satisfaction lit my cheeks. I desperately needed this.

I turned towards Link to my right to thank him again, but he wasn't there. I pulled my arms to my chest, he wasn't behind me either. Okay, Zelda, don't freak out. So, what if you're alone? I turned back to the bonfire and pushed my bangs away from my eyes. I'm fine! Perfect.

A small force hit my legs and bounced away.

"Ow-wuh," a small voice whined. I looked down at a little girl.

"Oh, Hylia above are you okay?" I knelt down. Link left and I've already hurt a child.

"Yeah," she sniffled and I took her little face in. She was young, no more than 10, with stark white locks and her cheeks and forehead pained in red traditional Sheikah symbols. They must have been to honor the goddesses for the holiday. I remember seeing others with the same markings. "What's wrong?"

"The boys are chasing me, lady," she said in a whining voice. My heart sung, she was adorable. "They're throwing snowballs at me."

"Snowballs?" My interest was piqued.

She nodded, "Yes, ma'am." I bit back a smile. I've never been called that before.

"What's your name?"

"Rivka."

"Well, Lady Rivka, if you would be so kind to train me in the art of snowball fighting I would be honored to defend you in this war," I touched my rigid right hand to my forehead with a determined look.

She gasped, "Really?"

I nodded and she grabbed my hand, beginning to haul me through the crowd to a snow bank. "Okay," she started, "We need canons, Miss Knight." Rivka held out a handful of snow in her little mitten cladded hands, "Just smush it." And she did just so. I gave it a go myself, picking up a handful and began sculpting it. This snow felt different then the last, far more compact. I grinned whimsically. I heard commotion in the crowd and little Rivka squealed, "They found us!"

Low and behold a posse of boys older than her emerged with snowballs of their own in their arsenal. "Is that them?" I asked hurriedly, adrenaline flowing from the childish game. She nodded enthusiastically and went to throw it. Her snowball didn't go very far and drew one of the boy's attention, who then alerted the rest. "There!"

I held out my snowball in a pitcher's stance and aimed for the tallest boy. It hit its mark and they paused. The shorter boys gasping. Rivka busted out in a fit of giggling. "Hey!" The assaulted boy shouted, "No fair! You have a grown up on your team!" Rivka grasped my hand and squeaked out a "Run!"

For what seemed like hours, there was a back and forth war between our team and there's. Rivka and I deemed them as evildoers, while she was princess of the kingdom and I her knight. With the addition of playing pretend, I was elated. I learned I wasn't very good at making snowballs but happened to be a decent snowball thrower. So, to remedy this, Rivka made our "canons" and I launched them. It was growing dark and her mother had found her. We talked for a short while and I told her I was passing through to see family. Then, they left, and I wandered back to the fire. Embers flicked up into the ever darkening sky as a man fed the flames with more firewood. The bonfire had lessened from when we arrived. People gathered around and music still played… and I felt happy.

I wonder what Father is doing right now?

"It's about to start," a woman's voice startled me. I looked down to see Rivka's mother who sat on the bench. I felt bad for not noticing earlier. I apologized lightly for my ignorance and she shook her head while patting the seat next to her, "It's nothing, dear."

"Is Rivka asleep?" I asked, noticing the lull between us.

"Yes, you've managed to exhaust her! I wanted to thank you for playing along. She's got an amazing mind, but those boys are relentless towards her."

I simply nodded and my gaze found its way to the fire.

"This is our fourth night of celebrating the midwinter," she said almost in a hush to me, I moved in to listen. "It's custom that we tell the tale of the Goddesses on each night to represent their positions on the Triforce."

"And what about the fourth night?" I inquired.

All she did was smile and an old man stepped in front of the fire. I noticed the many villagers and stray tourists that encircled. He let out a guttural noise, almost a chant but not quite. His audience quieted and it occurred to me that that was the purpose. He began speaking in a language removed from anything I had ever heard. Again, I heard Rivka's mother whisper, "He's speaking an ancient Hyrulian dialect, love. I'll try translating it for you."

And she did.

The old man told the story of not one, but them all. Din, the goddess of power, believed existence was futile without a land to rule over and so the land was created. Mountains grew from the universe, with treetops flourishing from those, valleys unraveled, and flowers bloomed. Nayru, the most wise goddess, could not fathom a world without order. And with one wish, justice and peace were made to tame the land. With these creations, only one goddess questioned their Plan. "Who was to cultivate your lands?" Farore questioned to her sister. "I," Din answered. "Pray tell," Farore asked another, "Who would be following your righteous justice?" "I, dear sister," Nayru replied. "Who would protect our domain? Though we are ever powerful, who will uphold it and give the Plan purpose?" Farore questioned for her last time.

Nayru and Din were speechless. Of course, they knew, there would always be forces to obstruct their Plan. Would they always be powerful enough to keep those forces at bay?

Farore held out her holy fist, wished a wish, and opened it.

With a flash the old man threw something into the flames, sparking a green color to manifest. I jumped back a bit and awed with the rest of the audience. He continued on. Shadows danced in the fire.

In the goddess's palm lay three infants. The first of their kind and most certainly not the last. "In our stead," Farore spoke to her sisters, "We will allow a diverse people to flourish. To protect, cultivate, and endure in our lands." Her sisters agreed and within these first children was the power of the Triforce, powers of the goddesses themselves. The Triforce, however, could be used equally as a tool of evil. "It is too powerful," Din feared, "Too powerful for our children. Temptation is a sin that even affects us. How will they be able to manage such a gift?" Nayru, being the wisest compromised. "We shall relinquish the overseeing to another. One more powerful than you, Din. One more courageous than Farore. And most importantly, one more wise than I."

With that, the goddess Hylia was called upon. Being the eldest of the sisters, she humbly accepted seeing as the Plan's fate was now in her hands. "With these children," Hylia had said, taking the infants into her motherly bosom, "The fate of all that is good hangs in the balance."

Some movement through the crowd caught my eye and I noticed it was Link. He was no longer in the lightweight clothes, but in a heavier coat with a sword still sitting on his hip. "Hey," he whispered, nonchalantly. He motioned for me to follow him. I bid goodbye and thank you to Rivka's mother before departing, not sparing several glances at the back of Link's head as I trailed behind. Why did he leave so abruptly? We scaled a flight of stairs of a large house. Once we reached the top and a decorated door slid open to reveal a tall woman with white hair tied back tightly. She marveled at me and I smiled, "Lady Impa!"

"Oh, child," she brought me into her arms before I could speak again. She sounded deeply relieved, contrasting her stoic and professional demeanor. She pushed me back to get a good look at my face, "Where have you been? It doesn't matter, Link told me enough. When is the last time you showered, girl? No matter. Come, come."

I was ushered through the doorway and into the warmth of the house. It was a large, muti-story building with winding halls and tall ceilings. I followed Impa, well, she was dragging me more than anything. We entered a bedroom. Mats littered the floor, so I took my boots off before walking inside. "Where in the world did you think you were going?" Impa said, busying herself by pulling out a cushion from a cabinet.

I fumbled for words, "When did you get back?"

"This morning," she laid it out and rummaged through a closet, "The courts were in a frenzy for two full days over your absence."

My heart sunk, "Oh."

"Oh, indeed," Impa looked pointedly at me. She wasn't old by any means, but her mind and soul seemed to transcend her physical age by decades. "Your father was livid."

My finger clasped together, "How… how is he?"

She sighed and finally found what she was looking for. A long sleeping gown of red and white. Despite its purpose, it was gorgeous. "The king thought the worst of course. I was in a meeting about your education the morning of your 'disappearance'. The head maid barged in completely irrational and started going on about kidnapping and attackers," she rolled her eyes dramatically, "The woman was mad. Absolutely mad."

Impa called a maid in and told her to take several things to the bathhouse. I hid my excitement. "Take this for our guest. Anyhow, he was worried. Full of concern. Sent out the guards to upturn every stone. Your uncle, of course, took his time to tell your father," she shook her head, disapproving as always towards him, "He waited until the court was together and discussing every option possible. One lord even argued to send troops to the desert, convinced you'd been captured by the Gerudo. Only then when your uncle was called in to talk about active servicemen did he tell your father about your ventures with a 'convoy'."

I couldn't help but laugh, stopping only when Impa gave me a look, "You never told me. Did you not think I would worry about you?"

I paused, ashamed. It hadn't crossed my mind. "No, I'm sorry. That was incredibly selfish of me." She took my right hand in hers, "I understand you not telling your father, but even if I try to talk you out of your young desires… please let me know." I nodded, feeling tears well and she stopped my apologizing. "No matter, Zelda. What happened is the past and we learn from our mistakes, yes? Now, have your adventures affected anything?"

She patted the topside of my hand and I shook my head, "I-I've been trying, but nothing as of yet." Impa looked critical before softening to resignation, "It's nothing you can force, child."

We parted as we left and walked further down the hall. "Most importantly," Impa turned her head slightly to address me once more, "Have you been having fun?"

An involuntary smile reached me, "So much. I'm over the moon."

"Good."

Walking outside into the garden shocked my body, but we ended up in another building with a glowing warmth far different than a fire.

"Here in Kakariko we have a hot spring that runs from underneath the mountains around us," we found a maid awaiting us. There were two separate doors. "Through the left door is the ladies' sitting room and then through another door is the springs. Usually both men and women bathe together-"

My face heated up and she smiled softly, "-but to our guests we understand that that's not the cultural norm so we did divide the springs." I must have been noticeably relieved. Impa left quickly to attend to other matters and I entered the first room, already feeling the heat of the steam.

It didn't feel as awkward as I thought to peel away the layers of clothes. It was welcomed. They were stained in places from mud and sleeping on the ground. On my bare legs I noticed several small bruises that magically manifested throughout our trek. I snuck towards the doorway and peered around the corner. Impa was right, a temporary screen divided the large natural pool just barely sinking in the water. I covered myself the best I could out of slight embarrassment and hobbled toward the edge. Stairs were built to lead visitors safely into the water. The water intense. Just barely hot enough to heed my rushing. I had to lower myself slowly into it until I was waist deep. A sigh left me and I thanked the goddesses for putting a hot spring so conveniently located. I sunk to my neck and closed my eyes in bliss. I felt down my arms and legs, feeling dried on mud and dirt slide away. I dunked my head underneath the surface for a moment, scratching at my scalp and letting my hair free itself of excess oils. Serenity was hearing the water move and flow from a spout sticking out of the wall. I wondered how much time it took to construct this place, but not for long. I heard a sliding door on the other side of the screen.

Oh dear.

Never had I felt so modest in my life.

Zelda, it's okay they don't even know your there. There's a screen for a reason, right?

I sunk to my chin.

There was a loud sound, a yelp, and something hit the water. Did he just fall into the spring? Panic rose in my chest. I am not going over there to save him. Not like this. Thankfully, I thought I heard him resurface and gasp for air. The water wasn't that deep anyway.

"Are you okay?" I said.

Hylia, why did I just expose myself?

I really must be my own worst enemy. I cringed.

"Um, yes," he sounded shaky, as if startled. "Zelda?"

Damn me to the deepest pits of the world. My face scrunched up and a let out a pained "Hello, Link."

"What are you doing here?"

"Bathing?" My answer sounded like another question.

"Oh, right. I'll leave you to it," I heard him move to the edge and a frustration hit me.

"No, you're not. Why should you?"

"Because-"

"There's a screen and you have every right to be here just like me." I'm having déjà vu.

"Okay," he replied simply, if not a little awkwardly. His voice reverberated off the walls. I should have just let the man leave. My stubbornness will be the death of me.

I gulped, "How are you?" At this moment, I had no other ideas on what to ask when bathing with an admittedly attractive person. It was enough to keep my head reeled in.

"I'm tired. And you?"

"Hungry," I blurted out.

Link laughed, "I am too."

There was a lull and I waded, hoping to feel cleaner soon so I could ditch this place to avoid dying of embarrassment. Although, there was something I was intensely curious about. I doubt there would be a better time to ask.

"Why did you leave me when we got here?" I wasn't insulted by it. At most, surprised. It was probably the last thing I expected and I hoped I didn't seem like a brat when I asked. There was a moment's silence and my question hung freely in the air so I went on, "I-I'm just asking because I'm curious I'm don't mean to… you know." My nervousness was tinged in my words.

"When we got here I noticed how cold you were so I went to find better coats."

"Oh."

So, he left without telling me? A sick feeling churned in my stomach. It occurred to me how much time he's spent with me. He'd been at my side at every point of the day for most of the week, he listened to every bad joke, and even had to risk his job because of my antics. That's not even taking into account two years of service standing by my bedroom every day and night. Of course, Link would want to get away from me for a couple moments. Doing what I could to clean my face, I scrubbed my cheeks with my palms and waded to the edge to get out.

"Are you leaving already?" He asked.

I swallowed and nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me, "Yes, I'm going to bed."

"I thought you were hungry."

I lifted myself out of the springs, not bothering to go the extra couple feet for the stairs. "I lost my appetite."

That was a lie. I could eat a horse.

My hand hesitated by the sliding door, he paused after starting to say something too quiet for me to make out. I thought he was going to question my sudden change in mood, but thankfully he only said, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I responded, and stepped into the building to gather my belongings.

[patsdrabbles]

I Spy a Spy Spider

Title: I Spy a Spy Spider Fandom: M*A*S*H Pairing: Charles Winchester/Donna Marie Parker Rating: Gen Word Count: 1755 Summary: Nothing helped more in a dire situation than having the support of a beloved co-worker after all. Zoo AU; they’re dating and Flagg is being his usual insufferable self. ❤ A/N: Part 18 of my Daily Fanfic Chocolates calendar :D This is a fic that I wrote for a prompt sent to me by my dear friend @onekisstotakewithme a while ago- “Did you just propose to me?” ^^ Please enjoy ❤

(links to AO3 and the DFC masterpost are in the reblogs!)

There was a spider in her lab.

In and for itself, that wouldn’t have been much of a problem. She was used to spiders, almost something sort of friend with them, seeing how so many lived next door to her. She wasn’t afraid of most of them either.

But this was a big one – a familiar one.

“Chuuuuuck!”

Nothing helped more in a dire situation than having the support of a beloved co-worker after all.

He came running through her lab’s door only moments later, safety glasses in his hand.

“What is it, Donna, dear?”

She just pointed at the wall and its recurring occupant quietly.

“Oh, hell no.”

Charles seldom swore, but they had been in this situation far too often by now for the two of them not to slowly but surely get annoyed by it.

“Is that one of Flagg’s spy spiders I spy?” He said it with a rise of the eyebrow and a critical glance at the spider in question.

Donna couldn’t help it, she snorted.

“Okay, that was awful but true, and you get a lab point for that.”

“Allow me to get another one and aah–” He was already standing on the tip of his toes, an empty big glass vessel from her workbench already in his hand.

“Come here, spidey spidey.”

Donna chuckled and watched as Charles stretched his arm out some more.

“Aaaaaaa–”

Both Charles and Donna gave a jump at the sudden shout.

“ –ha!”

They turned around in unison to stare at–

Flagg.

“I knew you weren’t actually supportive of my spiders! I betcha don’t approve of my plans for the new big terrarium either! But now I have proof–” He held up his phone. “And I will go to the zoo administration in the morning! What? Did you think you’d just get away with trying to hurt Amelia?”

Flagg marched toward the wall, pushing a baffled aside Charles as he did, and held out a gloved hand for the spider to climb on. To Donna and Charles’s surprise, the spider immediately started crawling toward him.

“There we go. Hello, my dear.” Flagg held up the spider at eye level to inspect it more closely. “You better be glad that she is unharmed, y’know?”

“What the hell, Flagg?” Donna just stared at him, however more angry than perplexed by now. “You let a poisonous spider escape that you blame us for wanting to catch- and bring back to you?”

“Now, listen here, Miss Parker–”

“No, Sam, you are going to take that spider and get it back to where it belongs. And then you’ll stop ‘accidentally’ letting them escape. God knows we’re busy enough as it is trying to work, but do you know what would happen if Amelia or one of her friends would have fallen into one of our chemical solutions, for example?” She stared at him firmly. “Do you want your spy spiders to dissolve? I don’t want that for them, Chuck doesn’t want that for them–” Charles nodded. “And I’m sure you don’t want that for them either.”

Flagg was silent. But just for a moment.

Then he pointed at Donna with his spider-free hand.

“This isn’t over yet, Miss Parker.”

Flagg turned around sharply to leave the room, when suddenly, Charles felt something on his leg.

“Oh good god.”

He said it so quietly that not only Donna looked into his direction immediately, but Flagg paused and turned around, as well.

A long brown snake, a jararaca, was currently making its way up his pants leg.

“Flagg, this has gone too far. Take it back. Now.”

But Flagg didn’t move.

“Do you want me to die at this animal’s whim?” Charles’s voice was starting to sound somewhat high-pitched. He wasn’t entirely sure how venomous the snake was, but he knew that it belonged to those that they were considering to be at least somewhat dangerous.

“Don’t move, Chuck!” Donna suddenly instructed him, coming toward him from the supply shelves at the side of the room. She wore thick protective gloves, a determined expression and quickly took hold of the jararaca.

Then she marched toward the door, quickly.

“Flagg, move!”

Flagg... moved?

“Door.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Now let’s hurry to get this one back behind glass again, asap.”

Charles walked toward the door and stared after them, Donna giving Flagg short and sharp instructions on what to do to help get the animal back to its terrarium safely and quickly.

He remained standing in the doorframe for several minutes, trying to regain his composure. He wasn’t certain but perhaps he could have died, and all of that only because Flagg was hell-bent on ‘proving’ that everyone (and especially the lab team, for some reason) was against his plans for a new terrarium by documenting situations – that he had created himself – that allegedly showed them treating his animals badly.

Charles considered writing the man a letter and telling him that what he really needed for his plans to get approved was an actual financial plan, crucial but lacking in Flagg’s requests so far. Maybe then they’d finally get some peace in the lab once again. At least for a while.

Donna returned after a few minutes, shaking somewhat, and Charles took one glance at her before pulling her into a hug.

“It almost bit me when I put it back.”

Deadly or venomous or not – Charles considered going to Flagg right this instant and telling him off for today and all the other incidents over the course of the last few months. But Donna was still in his arms and had just rested her head against his chest. He could very badly leave her now. Weren’t he so concerned for her (and the rest of the team’s) workplace safety due to Flagg continuing to breach it, the thought of letting go would never even have occurred to him.

Donna started laughing shakily, making his attention return to the present situation.

“Chuck?” She looked up at him but didn’t let go of him as she kept talking. “You do realize that you owe me another dinner now? That should certainly count as the two lab points I was still missing.”

Charles just nodded softly and slowly ran a hand over her hair as she leaned her head back against his chest, shaking it lightly.

He would have asked her out on another date soon anyway, silly lab points or not. They had only been an excuse for the first time she had wanted to be able to ask him out on a date anyway.

He remained quiet as he looked at her with a fondness that had long been going beyond words already. Donna...

She was clever enough to take it up with anyone at the zoo, including Hawkeye when he was feeling extremely witty, tough and strong-minded enough to take it up even with the nuisance Flagg, a splendid conversation partner, including when they were discussing classics, and the unquestioned champion of the science section’s bi-weekly Friday evening trivia quiz game. Add to that her charming personality and endearing sense of humor and–

“Donna, please marry me.”

He had said it quietly, under his breath, but the moment the words escaped his mouth he knew that he meant it, wants this, from the bottom of his heart. 

The next second, he began to lose his nerves. Donna let go of him and moved a step back, looking him into the eyes with an intensity that made him gulp nervously.

Had he really just proposed to her?

“Chuck, we’ve been on... what. Ten dates so far?” Her voice was soft, but...

Charles felt like he was mere seconds from running away. And two more seconds from realizing that it would be pointless, as they both knew the zoo better than their own lab coat pockets.

In the end, he let out a deep sigh and looked away for a moment, before moving to place his hands on her arms and dropping them again the next instant.

When their gazes met, he suddenly calmed down enough to tell her what he had been thinking about for weeks already. On the one hand, ten dates seemed like very little to him, as well, but they had known each other for five years already, worked together, gone on weekend trips together... He was sure she was the one for him. He took another steadying breath and smiled at her.

“What can I say?” He took hold of one of her hands. “I love you.”

If red lories were red, Donna’s cheeks turned redder after his confession.

She moved to hide her face behind her hands but Charles wouldn’t have any of it.

“Donna? Donna, dear, please – talk to me?”

When she moved her hands down again slowly, Charles saw that there were tears running down her cheeks. Charles stared at her in shock for a second. Had he just ruined the best thing he had in his life? How was he going to fix this? What–

“Charles, calm down.”

And Donna was laughing despite the tears that were still running down her face. “It’s alright.”

“Alright?” Charles kept staring at her, unsure of what to do next.

How was this alright? He had accidentally proposed to the woman he loved and she had started to cry and now she was laughing and–

“Charles!”

She suddenly closed the distance between them and held him tightly.

“Does it calm you if I tell you I’ll say ‘yes’ if you just give me a little more time?” She paused when she noticed that he had stopped breathing. “I’m not going to say ‘no’, alright? I just need a little more time. But I’d... I’d love to marry you, Charles.”

She looked up and smiled at him, bright as the sun that he secretly liked to compare her to.

“Oh.”

She chuckled quietly and stood on her tippy toes to kiss him gently on the nose.

“I love you, Charles.”

And, realizing his unfounded worries, he simply knew that she wouldn’t say ‘no’, no matter when he would ask her again.

He put his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers.

“And I love you. Donna.” His voice was nearly inaudible, he said her name so softly.

Then, he smiled at her, almost grinning.

“Our future grandchildren won’t hear that spiders and snakes were involved in this proposal.”

Donna just grinned back at him and couldn’t suppress a chuckle.

“Oh, they absolutely will.”

[beepbeep-losers]

boys and a bathroom

part 4: fate

College au. Modern au. Stan and Eddie room together and are friends with Mike. Ben rooms with Mike and is dating Beverly, who is in an apartment with Richie and Bill. They’re sophomores. 

part 1 // part 2 // part 3

now on AO3

Pairing: Stenbranlon

Side pairings: Reddie and Benverly

Warning: nothing for this one, just boys in their feelings

Length: 3.1k words

Bill

Two weeks had passed and Bill hadn’t seen Stan or Mike again. Everyone else had gone back over to Mike and Ben’s the next weekend, but Bill had been sick and wasn’t able to go – although he’d insisted on it until Ben assured him that Eddie would freak out if he showed up looking like death, and that Stan wouldn’t find it all that attractive either.

Bill had thought about Stan an embarrassing amount. They’d talked at one party, and Bill could only remember a kiss and snippets of conversation between them, but he was absolutely crushing on him. Something about his guarded disposition and sly humor and the way he had had these random bursts of extroverted energy between all the more quiet, thoughtful stretches. He wanted to know what Stan liked, what his favorite classes were, who his friends were and why he got along with them, what music he listened to.

He was such a fucking sap. He blamed it on the writer in him.

So, two weeks passed of Bill getting excited when Stan posted on his social media, smiling when he retweeted a livestream of an eagle nest, sometimes with an excited comment attached. When he next saw Stanley Uris, his finger was hovering over the “like” button on one of those retweets.

“Excuse me?”

Bill worked at a coffee shop on campus, one of the smaller ones that was on the bottom floor of a classroom building. He normally worked afternoons four days a week, but one of his coworkers had needed to switch shifts and Bill had volunteered to take their Wednesday evening shift. Maybe that, and the romantic in him, helped him feel like it was fate when he heard Stan’s voice call for his attention.

His head snapped up and he tucked his phone hastily into his pocket. His polite customer service smile was quickly replaced with a genuine one when he saw Stan on the other side of the counter. He looked stressed, one hand gripping onto the strap of his backpack tightly as the other held three perfectly, creased bills on the counter. When Bill looked at him, Stan’s eyes widened perceptibly. Bill really hoped that wasn’t a bad thing, and started to get worried before Stan smiled shyly at him.

“Hey, Stan!” Bill greeted happily. “Whuh-what can I get y-you?” Damn stutter.

Stan licked his lips and seemed to have lost his train of thought for a split second before robotically answering, “Um, grande iced coffee with a little milk, please.”

Bill nodded and took the bills from Stan, then handed him his change and receipt. Stan hovered near the other side of the counter as Bill started fixing his drink. “How are y-you? I haven’t seen you since the p-party.” Bill kept glancing up at Stan as he worked. He really couldn’t help it.

“Just school, really. I didn’t know you worked here,” Stan said conversationally. Stan’s eyes seemed to be on Bill’s hands rather than his face and Bill wondered why.

“Oh, y-yeah,” Bill laughed softly. He put the lid on Stan’s drink and slid it across the counter toward him. Stan gave him a small smile as he put a straw in it. “I usually work aftern-n-noons, but this evening shift is the shit. It’s p-peaceful.” Bill leaned back against the counter behind him, still facing Stan and appreciating how the florescent light highlighted the different curls. “Why are y-you on campus so late?”

“I just got out of a three-hour seminar class,” Stan sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. Just saying the words made him look more tired. “I usually go straight to bed after, but I have a quiz tomorrow so I have to stay up and study a little.”

“Damn, th-that sucks. I’m sorry.”

Stan shrugged. “It’s alright. I have to go to the library, though. I know this place is about to close and Richie is over tonight at mine and Eddie’s. I love Eddie, but the two of them are loud.” Stan paled a little and looked like he wanted to hit his head on the counter. “Fuck! Not like that, they’re just – I mean –“

“I understand, Richie’s l-loud,” Bill laughed, and Stan relaxed. Bill could almost feel him warming up to him and it was exciting. He got the sense that a sober Stan was a pretty reserved Stan. Almost without full permission from his brain, Bill opened his mouth again and spoke. “I’m about to close up h-here, actually.”

“Oh, shit, you’re right, I’m so sorry, I should go,” Stan rambles, and he starts to move away.

“No, no, that’s not wh-what I m-meant!” Bill says quickly, leaning forward. “If y-you don’t want to go to the library, y-you can come over to my p-place and study. I have a paper due this w-week that I haven’t finished. Bev had to study for something for tomorrow t-t-too, I think, so it should be qwuh-quiet.”

Stan paused, half turned away from Bill and the counter, and his brow furrowed slightly as he considered Bill. Bill could feel his eyes on him, scrutinizing but thoughtful. He felt like Stan could see right through him, like he could see the words “I Think I Have A Giant Crush On You” printed in bold letters on his brain.

Eventually, Stan nodded slowly. “I guess that could work,” he said, a hint of wariness in his voice. “You’re sure you won’t mind? And that Beverly will be studying too?”

God, he probably thinks I’m just trying to fuck him, Bill thought, almost grimacing. “I’m s-sure. Bev will be there, and we’ve all g-got to study so it’ll be fine. Promise.”

Stan

Bill Denbrough was a very convincing man. Or perhaps just a very handsome man.

Stan would have loathed to admit it, but Bill really could have asked him to study alone with him in his bedroom and as long as he had those hypnotizing eyes on him he doubted he would have said no, despite this being only the second occasion they’d ever spoken.

He was tempted to ask him if he was coming on to him by inviting him over, but that would be far too forward. He couldn’t imagine getting the words out successfully, and if Bill wasn’t flirting with him then he would just be too embarrassed to ever even speak to him again.

Instead of asking any presumptuous questions, Stan tried to ignore Bill’s eyes and use his brain.

Bill seemed nice and all their friends were becoming friends. He had talked to Beverly several times now. He would text Eddie and say he was going to Bev’s and then if things got weird in the slightest, Eddie would give him an out.

Fuck. Eddie didn’t know about the kiss.

Nevermind.

Mike! Mike would work just as well. He’d text Mike when they arrived and then Mike, an amazing friend, would be just as willing to help him if things took a strange turn. Perfect.

Stan nodded at the expectant and hopeful Bill Denbrough, giving him a small smile. “Alright, then. Sounds good. I need to be home by three or so, though.”

“Totally,” Bill said, his face lighting up. He was like an excitable, friendly puppy. It was a lot of adorable on an already attractive man. “You can sit while I close up, it’s just now closing time and it’ll just take me a few minutes.”

Stan nodded and moved to sit lightly in one of the chairs at a small table, trying to watch Bill discreetly as he cleaned and pass it off as if he was looking at his phone. Schooling himself into keeping his eyes off Bill, he busied himself with taking out his laptop and typing out a list of all the topics he needed to study for his quiz. It was for his Ethics in Business course, and he knew the quiz would be pretty easy but he still felt like he needed to go over everything a few times. He’d probably make flash cards, take any practice quizzes he could find in the course material, the usual. He paid attention in class and kept up with his readings so he felt confident, but just in case –

“Stan?”

Bill’s voice pulled Stan from his thoughts and he looked up, blinking, at the tall man standing at the other side of his table.

“Are you ready to go?” Bill asked.

Stan nodded and shut his laptop. “Yes, I’m ready,” he said as he slipped it into his bag. He slung the bag back over his shoulder across his chest and stood, waiting for Bill to lead the way.

“I usually take the bus to and from campus,” Bill said as they started walking toward the exit. “So, uh –“

“I’ll drive us,” Stan offered quickly. He waved off Bill’s shy protest. He liked to be in charge of the vehicle he was in, so he really preferred this. He would have insisted on driving himself anyway.

Stanley led the two of them to his car in a parking lot just a few buildings down. It was a very clean silver Toyota Prius. He unlocked it and slid into the driver’s seat, turned on his favorite driving music and turned the volume where he wanted it so that it was low enough he and Bill could hear each other if they spoke but loud enough that they could pay attention to the music instead. Of course he also preferred that it stay at a number divisible by five, so that meant he turned it to 15.

Bill got into the passenger seat a little clumsily and he looked intensely cramped. He started searching for the bar to adjust the seat and Stan laughed a little.

“Oh, sorry, Eddie is usually the only person in here,” Stan apologized, watching Bill sigh in relief as he moved the seat back and made room for his long legs.

“Yeah, I figured he was the culprit,” Bill chuckled. He buckled and pushed his hair back as Stan pulled out of the parking spot.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I just realized that I don’t know. Where do you live?” Stan asked. It was silly of him to have forgotten to ask such essential information before pulling out of the spot.

“Shit, right!” Bill exclaimed. “The Edge, that apartment complex on Avondale by the 7-11.”

Stan nodded and started driving in that direction. “Right, yeah, I know that one.”

The rest of their chatting on the drive was easy small talk. Bill was interesting to talk to and the conversation flowed well, to Stan’s delight. He laughed at Stan’s dry humor and seemed legitimately curious as to what kind of work he did in his classes, although most people quickly dismissed his accounting major as boring conversation. The entire drive, Stan had a nagging question at the back of his mind – the same question he’d been wondering the answer to since the party.

Did Bill remember their kiss? And, if he did, did it mean anything to him?

Stanley Uris considered himself, if anything, a realist. Bill was a 19 or 20 year old college boy who had kissed him in a bathroom at a party on the first night they’d met. It was very likely that it meant nothing to him, that he dragged someone off to kiss or more at many parties he went to. However, there was a part of Stan that had the romantic notion that maybe Bill Denbrough remembered the kiss and had been thinking about him just as much as Stan had been about him.

The realist in Stan really wished he’d stop thinking about it so much.

Mike

Mike Hanlon liked to regard himself as a thoughtful person. He tended to be introspective, and he preferred to hear other people’s opinions and feelings before voicing his own. He was careful to consider things from every angle so he could best understand what all was happening around him. He was observant that way.

He had known that he liked Stan soon after meeting him. At first as a friend, and then more. He hadn’t said anything because he wasn’t sure if Stan would feel the same way. Stan was, by Eddie’s description, too picky for his own damn good. Mike really wasn’t sure if he ever planned to act on his feelings, so he’d eventually decided to just be friends with Stan and see what happened. Stan didn’t date much and only sometimes even flirted. He was very focused on his classes and job. That was, until Bill Denbrough walked into the party.

Mike had seen it the second Stan looked at Bill, and he really didn’t blame him despite the pinch of jealousy he felt at first. Bill was handsome and, as Mike quickly discovered when he’d talked to Bill for much of the first part of the party, charming and funny to boot.

Mike was pansexual, but his preferences were typically skewed toward the more feminine area. By the end of his own party, however, he had somehow found himself with a crush on not only one, but two men. It just so happened that they both had eyes for each other.

Mike had been grappling with this dilemma quietly, and hadn’t spoken a word of it to anyone so far. He had been a good sport when Stan confided in him the next morning, genuinely happy that his friend kissed someone he liked but somehow wishing it had been him, or that he’d been involved. But he didn’t say anything or give himself away. He didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or get in the way of Stan and Bill being together if that’s what would make them happy. Mike, however, felt a very sad grip of loneliness when he thought of the two of them getting together. But how important was that if it cost them their happiness? Not important at all, he’d decided.

Mike was caught up in this train of thought as he sat next to Ben with his laptop in Beverly’s apartment, where he was meant to be working on his part of an assignment he and Bev had for their introduction to women and gender studies course. Ben was reading a book, legs tucked under him on the couch. Bev was sitting on the floor between his knees, the coffee table scooted up close to her so she could work from her laptop from where she sat.

All three looked up when the door opened and they heard voices. As if his thoughts had summoned some pestering spirit to taunt him, Bill and Stan walked into the apartment together. Mike swallowed and faltered for a split second before bouncing back to his usual happy demeanor, smiling at them brightly.

“Hey guys,” Bill greets happily, dropping his bag down beside the only other chair in the living room and then plopping down into it. Stan wandered over to the couch and sat his bag down next to it. He sat next to Mike, who thought that fate was a very cruel mistress for whatever she was up to.

“Hey there, boys,” Bev said, grinning at them. She turned around, leaning her forearm on Ben’s thigh to hold herself, and peered at Stan. “What’cha up to, Stanny?”

“I bumped into Bill on campus,” Stan explained, smiling at Bev. He had an even smile, but it lit up his face and made him look suddenly open and friendly rather than serious. Mike appreciated it. “I mentioned that Richie was over so I’d probably go to the library to study tonight and he invited me over here instead, said you had to study to. Looks like just about everyone is here,” he laughs.

“Well, you know Ben and I will actually burst into flame if we’re apart for too long,” Bev joked, patting Ben’s knee, and her boyfriend smiled fondly at her and gave her an appreciative chuckle. “And Mike and I are actually working on a presentation for women and gender studies right now.”

“Oh, cool,” Stan said, and his attention turned to Mike, who felt Bill’s eyes on him too. “What are you presenting about?”

“Marsha P. Johnson, the trans woman that played a major part in the Stonewall riots,” Mike answered. “We’re supposed to pick an inspiring woman and talk about her life, impact, all that.”

“Good choice,” Stan comments. He gets his laptop out and balances on his lap. Bill voices his agreement, saying, “Yeah, guys, that s-sounds really cool.”

Once Bill and Stan settle in, it gets quiet again. Mike and Bev lean to peek at each other’s work every now and then, and Mike steals looks at Stan and Bill when he can. Stan is almost intimidatingly focused on his work, and he clearly has a very practiced way of studying that Mike senses they can all tell they shouldn’t disrupt. Bill is easily distracted by his phone, but Mike sees that when he actually starts writing, he writes in long bursts during which his eyes never stray from his laptop’s screen and his fingers type so fast that Stan actually breaks from his studying to comment on it.

Mike gathers his things to leave a little after two in the morning, and Stan quickly says that he should probably get home as well. Mike and Bill both give him a curious look, but Stan is already packing up. When he stands, so does Bill.

“Thanks for letting me come over,” Stan says to Bill, smiling at him and looking unsure of himself.

Bill gives him a slightly crooked smile and says, “Yeah, no problem. Any t-time.”

When Stan takes a step toward the door after a pause and turns to say goodbye, Mike smiles at Bill. “Nice to see you,” he says, a hope somewhere in the back of his mind that he sounds charming. When Stan is done saying goodbye to everyone, Mike walks out behind him, giving a friendly, “See you guys!” over his shoulder.

As soon as Mike shuts the door behind him, Stan turns, both hands holding the strap of his pack anxiously, and looks up at him with his intelligent hazel eyes. Mike raises his eyebrows at him in question.

“Do you think Bill likes me?” Stan demands in a hushed voice. He reminds Mike of a kid asking someone if they think the tooth fairy is real. Mike would prefer that question over this one any day, but he can only say what is the most honest answer he can think of.

“Who wouldn’t like you, Stan?”

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[tonidshipper]

The Sky In My Heart Clears - A YoshiMaru Fanfic

Read on Ao3: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Chapter 3: Decision-making is not my forte

Chapter Summary: In which Yoshiko makes a decision and panics over it.

Shinyyy sent a message to GK (Gay Kids) group chat

Shinyyy : YOSHIKO-CHAN~

Shinyyy changed your nickname to Yazawa Nico Project

You changed your nickname to Anti-Shinyyy Club President

Gayest of them all: Will you two stop changing the nicknames.

Gayest of them all: Also, who gave me this nickname?!

Gayest of them all changed her nickname to Riko

Anti-Shinyyy Club President: But Riri! It was Mari! She started it!

Riko changed your nickname to Yoshiko

Yoshiko: It’s Yohane!

Riko changed Shinyyy ’s nickname to Mari

Mari: ANYWAY YOSHIKO-CHAN! I HEARD ABOUT THE BIG NEWS !

Mari: Sooo! Are you really going to work with Yazawa Nico?

Riko: I did hear about that too. How is that going so far, Yocchan? Have you decided to accept it yet?

Yoshiko sighs. She remembers telling that news specifically to only two people so far. Ruby and Hanamaru. Three, with Dia by extension, since Dia was there when the three of them were video calling the other night.

Yoshiko: Who’d you hear that from? Also, I’m not even sure if I’ll take it.

Mari: Dia

Riko: Dia

Yoshiko: Of course.

She pauses. Didn’t Dia say that she was not going to use her phone for a while because it distracts her from studying since she’s got an upcoming test? Yoshiko is pretty sure that Dia mentioned that when she joined their video chat for a while.

Yoshiko: Though, I’d understand Mari hearing it from Dia since I’m sure Mari finds a way to talk to break through Dia ‘unplugging from social media’ for studying

Yoshiko: But how’d you hear from Dia, Riri?

Riko: We talk! What, I can’t talk with Dia, Yocchan?

Riko’s on the defensive, huh? Interesting. Before Yoshiko can even type a reply, Mari sends in hers.

Mari: I heard the two of them met for a cup of coffee the other day. Lovely ~! Dia said it was nice to hang out with Riko-chan and she feels refreshed after that.

Riko: Why do I feel like you’re making a big deal out of this?

Mari: Oh, Riko-chan! Nothing to be embarrassed about! Going out on dates is fine!

Riko: IT WASN’T A DATE! WE WERE JUST UNWINDING!

What an odd pair, Yoshiko thinks. They’re both such level headed individuals so she wonders how that will go. Or maybe Mari really is just teasing. After all, dragging Dia away from her studies is like trying to pull a concrete post from the ground so, Dia meeting up with Riko is definitely intriguing. Still, Yoshiko decides to tease a bit.

Yoshiko: Is that what they call it these days?

Riko: How’d this turn into talking about me? Yocchan, did you accept it yet?

Yoshiko chuckles because Riko’s obviously turning to her for help. Oh well, she needs their insights anyway.

Yoshiko: I’m not sure what to do, to be honest. I feel like I’m not ready to step in a studio or a stage without you all.

Mari: Yoshiko-chan is so honest! How adorable!

Yoshiko: Remind me why I even bother to talk to you.

Mari: Adorable!

Yoshiko: Leave me alone Mari!

Mari: I wanna fly over there to give you a hug!!

Yoshiko: Ew. You’re hanging around Kanan too much. She’s rubbing off her hugging tendencies on you

Mari: That’s not the only thing she’s rubbing on me ;D

Yoshiko: Again, ew.

Yoshiko: You’re disgusting.

Riko: I’m going to ignore that, Mari-chan but, Yocchan, I think you should go for it.

Riko: I mean, opportunity is opportunity.

Riko: It wouldn’t hurt to try. I’m sure a part of you wishes performing and doing lives.

Yoshiko leans back her chair and looks at the time. It’s 12:47 AM. Why the other two Guilty Kiss members are awake, Yoshiko’s not sure. She’s supposed to be studying for a quiz. Mari, well, Mari’s abroad somewhere so her time’s different. Who knows where she is right now. Riko, on the other hand, is probably preoccupied with a new song or something. They’re all busy but, she sure is glad she has company at a time like this. She knows Hanamaru has an exam tomorrow morning so she didn’t ask her to stay up late with her.

Yoshiko: Do you miss it? I mean, I’m not really sure where this will lead me but,

Yoshiko: I don’t know, I’m just lost.

Riko: Whenever someone mentions a new school idol group or I watch performances, I can’t help but think of us nine, singing and dancing, performing our hearts out. I’d be lying if I say that I don’t miss it.

Riko: Whenever someone brings up Love Live, I immediately think about us, on stage, performing for fans.

Mari: It’s the same for me, Yoshiko-chan. Every once in a while I’d listen to our songs and reminisce. Sometimes, I’d even dance to it.

Mari: The point is, because of the paths that we’ve taken, not all of us have the opportunity to go back and perform.

Mari: You have the chance though. Do you want to?

Yoshiko stares at Mari’s question on her phone screen. Ever since she was a kid, Yoshiko did love to perform. Whether it be her crazy antics as Yohane, or making videos for her YouTube channel, or dancing on stage as a member of Aqours - Yoshiko admits that she does enjoy the attention.

Yoshiko: I want to try at least.

Riko: Then, there’s your answer, Yocchan.

Mari: Go for it!

Yoshiko: Thanks guys. You really helped me out a lot.

Mari: Ahh, adolescence. I swear if it was Yoshiko-chan back when she’s a first year in Uranohoshi, she’d be a horrible blushing mess right now while acting all tsundere

Mari: You have grown, my young padawan.

Yoshiko: Is that a Star Wars reference? Since when did you start making Star Wars reference?

Mari: Kanan insisted we watch it last night.

Riko: Wait, where exactly are you?

Mari sent a photo.

Yoshiko waits for it to load. After a couple of seconds, a picture of Mari and Kanan appeared. Specifically, Kanan sleeping next to a Mari who is sitting up the bed, doing their Guilty Kiss pose while smiling at the camera. Yoshiko smiles as well, seeing how Kanan is snuggled against Mari. They really look happy.

But then wouldn’t that mean-

Yoshiko: You’re in Uchiura?

Riko: You’re in Japan?!

Mari: No! No! Silly! We’re not in Japan! Kanan left for Hawaii last week and I had days off from uni so I went here!

Mari: I wasn’t lying about the rubbing.

Riko: We get it! Geez…

Yoshiko yawns, realizing she’s consumed most of her time talking to Mari and Riko when she should be studying.

Yoshiko: Anyway, before Mari gets into too much details of her and Kanan’s rubbing,

Yoshiko: thanks again you two. I think I’ll continue studying for now.

Yoshiko: Exam tomorrow.

Yoshiko: Good night, little demons!

Riko: Okay Yocchan. Good night!

Mari: Good night!!

Yoshiko logged off.

Mari: So…

Mari: How did that date with Dia-chan go, Riko-chan?

Riko has left the group.

Mari changed your nickname to Yo~Honey!

Mari changed her nickname to Shinyyy!!

Mari added Sakurauchi Riko to the group

Mari set Sakurauchi Riko ’s nickname to Gay for Dia

Gay for Dia: :/

Shinyyy!!: ;D

Yoshiko stands outside Keiko’s office. She straightens her clothes and has no idea what she should do. Should she knock? What if she messes up?

Why is this even so nervewr-

“Yoshiko-chan,” someone calls her from behind.

She turns around. “It’s Yohane!” Ah, because she’s too preoccupied, it slipped out of her on reflex. Yoshiko is sure that her face paled when she saw who it is.

Nico stands there, looking a bit stunned. But then, she bursts out laughing. “I thought that was a skit you did but I didn’t know you really do that!”

The younger girl blushes. “Y-You j-just surprised me, t-that’s all, N-Nico-senpai!” She insists though, with how many times she stammered, Nico is obviously unconvinced as the idol just continued to smirk at her.

“Well, if you’re done blocking the door, maybe we can now proceed inside, right Yo-ha-ne-chan?” She steps aside and allows Nico to walk towards the door. “Honestly though, Nico thinks Yohane-chan is too stiff again.” The older girl says, looking at Yoshiko over her shoulders. “Loosen up, it will be fine.”

Somehow, Nico manages to calm her with that. Reassurance from the No. 1 idol in the universe does that, Yoshiko jokes to herself, knowing what Nico might say if she voices out her thoughts.

Like last time, the idol knocks a couple of times before opening the door. “Super idol Yazawa Nico has arrived!” She announces, making Yoshiko grimace. Nico really is something.

“Excuse me for the intrusion,” Yoshiko mumbles, peeking inside to see Keiko frowning as Nico goes to the other side of the room they’re at right now. Upon hearing her though, Keiko sits up and smiles at her. “Good afternoon, Tanaka-san,”

“Good afternoon Tsushima-san. Please, have a seat.” The manager says, gesturing for her to sit down on the chair in front of her desk again. Yoshiko does as she is told. She clasps her hands together tightly, suddenly feeling nervous again. “How have you been the past few days, Tsushima-san?” Keiko smiles.

Yoshiko knows for a fact that Keiko is just doing the usual ‘small talks’ and all but, shouldn’t this be a lot more calming?!

“I-I’ve been well, thank you.” She musters a reply.

“And I assume you’ve thought about our proposal?”

Yikes. That must have been the smallest small talk ever, Yoshiko thinks. She nods in reply. “Actually, I have a question first. I just want to hear from you what I’ll be doing. Grand Sky’s has a lot of talents in a lot of fields. I-I just want to know what I’ll be doing exactly.”

Keiko smiles at her, a intrigued look in her eyes. Yoshiko can’t help but gulp. “Well Tsushima-san, Grand Sky has always been open to hear out which path our talents take. Initially, you will be going through voice acting workshops but, it all starts from there. Whether it be pursuing an idol career or, continuing with voice acting. We can also develop your hosting skills.” The manager says. “We want to help you discover which field you’d like take and allow you to flourish from there.”

Yoshiko nods. “I see.” So, voice acting for now. Yoshiko thinks it wouldn’t be so bad. She did enjoy playing characters, she thinks to herself.

“Like Nico said before we parted last time, there’s no pressure Yohane-chan,” Nico sits down the couch, looking at them with a cup of hot beverage in her hands. “We want you to decide on which offer you’d take. You have two options - both of the options Nico and Kei-chan is sure that you can do well. You can take that assistant position or, you can accept our offer.”

Yoshiko nods at Nico then turns to Keiko, who again, gives her a warm smile. “So, Tsushima-san… which will it be?”

She’s thought about this for many days now. Yoshiko steels herself and looks at Keiko. “I-I…”

“...accepted it.”

Ruby and Leah looks at her, amused.

Yoshiko learned that Ruby and Leah are just a couple of minutes away from Grand Sky’s building. Ruby suggested they meet up which is why she is currently with them in a nearby café.

“Yoshiko-chan, are you alright though?” Ruby tilts her head, trying to look at Yoshiko’s face. She did not even realize but apparently, she’s been looking down at her cake for a while now.

Leah harrumps. “You look so spooked about everything right now and you’re paler than usual.” She continues sipping the straw of her strawberry milkshake. “Don’t pass out on us.”

She thinks that she will probably never fully understand how Ruby, sweet and gentle Kurosawa Ruby, ended up being close friends with this younger Kazuno. Sarah is kind and warm while Leah is… cold. But, it works, she thinks. She kind of get that the other girl is just really awkward - after all, she’s just like that too before she met her friends. Ruby did explain once that Leah, as cold as she may seem, is quite fond of her and Hanamaru because Leah would ask about them once in a while. She’d like to think that Leah’s just not sure how to show her concern towards someone that is not her older sister or Ruby so her words usually just comes out as cold.

Yoshiko groans after a couple of seconds of wondering. “It’s just nerves. I don’t r-really know if it’s the right decision. I mean, sure they gave me a time to actually see my skills in an actual workshop and see where we’ll go from there. Not that I’m worried. T-This is Yohane you’re talking to!" She stands up, and on reflex, does her usual Yohane pose. "Fallen Angel Yohane who will make sure that I do my best to gather more little demons! The fallen angel will never bow down to mere humans and allow them to see me fail. I’ll-”

“She has lost it, zura.”

“Eh?!”

She doesn’t even realize that she’s out of breath until she heard a certain friend of theirs in Numazu. She looks at Ruby and Leah only to see that they had dialled Hanamaru’s number and the girl actually picked up. “Z-Zuramaru!”

Ruby chuckles. “I told you she’ll stop once she hears Hanamaru-chan,” the redhead mumbles to Leah.

“Yoshiko-chan?” Hanamaru sounds worried. That’s the last thing Yoshiko wants her friend to do.

“Ruby! Leah!” She groans again, rubbing a hand on her face in frustration. “Zuramaru, I’m alright!” She smiles, but then realizes she's still posing and she definitely looks ridiculous. “Yohane has great news, actually! I accepted the job!”

On the other line, the temple girl lets out a long humming sound. “Why do I not believe that Yoshiko-chan is alright, zura?”

“She looks ridiculous.” Leah sips at her milkshake, as if she didn’t say anything.

Ruby chuckles. “Sorry to bother you Hanamaru-chan. We just thought you’d know how to calm Yoshiko-chan down best.”

“It’s okay, Ruby-chan, Leah-chan! I’m actually thankful that you called me, zura,” Hanamaru says. “Yoshiko-chan, you know you can talk to me about this, right?”

She nods, as if Hanamaru can see her. “I know… I just didn’t want to worry you. More than you already are. And I was going to tell you later.”

“Once your calm?”

Yoshiko pouts. “I-I am c-calm!”

“You’re not.”

“You’re not.”

“You are not, zura.”

Yoshiko raises her head to look at Ruby and Leah. Ruby a concerned look on her face while Leah is just smirking at her. Somehow she feels like she can see the frown that Hanamaru has on right now.

It’s hard to be put on the spot like this, she thinks. “Look, I-I’m just worried about messing things up.” Yoshiko sighs in defeat. “I mean, I’d really like to see how this will work and honestly, somehow, I want it to work. I just don’t want to disappoint anyone. Nico-senpai sounds like she has a lot of faith in me and so does Tanaka-san.”

“Yoshiko-chan, I think you’re much reliable than you think,” Hanamaru says. “You always do your best at everything you do, I don’t think that will ever disappoint anyone.”

Ruby nods at their friend’s words. “Hanamaru-chan is right. When you put your mind to it, you always deliver with great results, Yoshiko-chan.” The redhead smiles at her.

“Well, you heard them. If you’re doubting yourself right now, you might as well trust your friends when they say that you'll be alright,” Leah adds as an afterthought.

True, Yoshiko agrees with Leah.

“Thanks,” she smiles, happy and relieved that she has her friends with her. Ruby smiles and Leah nods. Yoshiko thinks it’s adorable how Leah's acting all tough and uncaring but, she’s actually just awkward. Yoshiko would know, of course.

“Yoshiko-chan should go home,” Ruby says out of the blue which puzzles her because is Ruby kicking her out?

She rubs the back of her neck. “I-I mean, yeah, it is getting late,” she mutters awkwardly, collecting her things then standing up.

At the realization that she must have sounded like she’s shooing Yoshiko away, Ruby immediately shakes her head. “Pigyah! N-No, no! Yoshiko-chan, that’s not what I meant!” She grabs Yoshiko’s sleeve. “I meant that you might want a breather so maybe you should spend the weekend at Numazu,” A tiny gasp is heard from the phone. “with Hanamaru-chan!”

“Ruby-chan!” Hanamaru reacts.

“I’d love to accompany you but Leah-chan and I have a group project to do this weekend though.” She looks at Leah and smiles.

Leah tilts her head and blinks. After a couple of seconds, she nods. “Yeah... a group project... this weekend,” she drawls.

Yoshiko looks at them suspiciously because Leah doesn’t really sound convincing also, for all the years that Yoshiko has known Ruby, despite the innocent looks, she’s a terrifying mastermind who plots a lot of schemes. Ruby is currently smiling at her and looking all nice and innocent but she wonders what actually is going on inside that head of hers.

Then again, maybe she’s just being rude and Ruby actually just wants her to relax. A weekend at Numazu does sound tempting. She and Hanamaru would hang out and-

“A-Ah, well that does sounds good but, I don’t want to impose on Zuramaru.”

“You won’t, zura!” Her friend shouts from the phone. “It’s fine, Yoshiko-chan! I-I can accompany you,” she pauses. “If you’d like, that is.”

Why does it feel embarrassing all of a sudden? Yoshiko figures it’s because she’s usually a lot more honest around Hanamaru than with the others the past few months so talking to her like how she does recently in public, with Ruby and Leah watching them, is making her shy. She turns around, taking Ruby’s phone on the table. She taps the button on the screen so she’s the only one who’ll hear her. “O-Of course I’d like that, Zuramaru.”

“U-Uhm, why’re you whispering, zura?” Hanamaru whispers as well.

“Because Ruby and Leah are weird,” she says, not really answering the question itself but she figures Hanamaru gets it, she looks back at the two and Ruby still has that mischievous smile on her face while Leah’s just bored by now and is nibbling on the straw of her drink.

“So, uhm, my classes tomorrow end at 12:00 noon so, I’ll just go home to grab my stuff and then travel back there.”

“My classes end by 2:00 PM so I’ll probably be able to meet you at the station, zura.”

Yoshiko can already imagine Hanamaru smiling at her once they see each other. Somehow, she feels warm inside. “Okay,” is all she can say because she’d actually like that.

“Okay,” Hanamaru says, her tone happy and excited. It’s contagious, the fallen angel thinks. “Well, you should pack your things for the weekend then Yoshiko-chan.”

“I-I will. I’ll head back to the apartment to do just that. Uhm, want me to call you later?”

A giggle. “You know you don’t have to ask permission to do that, right?”

“Yeah,” Yoshiko chuckles sheepishly.

Someone obviously fakes a cough from the back and Yoshiko glares at Leah. “I mean, that’s cute and all but I bet we all got places to be and you’re hostaging Ruby’s phone.”

Yoshiko looks at the device in her hand. Oh, right. Yoshiko puts her on loudspeaker again. “Well, that’s planned then,” she says, her volume back to usual. “Thanks Zuramaru.”

Perhaps noticing that Yoshiko’s no longer talking to her quietly, Hanamaru does the same and talks in her usual happy tone. “You’re welcome. It’s too bad that I won’t be able to see you, Ruby-chan, Leah-chan.”

“Next time, Hanamaru-chan.” Ruby giggles and Leah just lets out a hum.

Once they all bid their farewells, Ruby and Leah walks back to the direction of Ruby and Dia’s apartment. Leah mentioned that she’d like to walk her home. Smooth kid, Yoshiko thinks.

And as for Yoshiko, she feels a lot better now. Of course, there’s still dread about what she’ll be facing after this week but nevermind that for now. By tomorrow, she’ll be travelling back to Numazu and will spend her weekend with Hanamaru.

That’s one thing to look forward to.