#I Won't Last A Day Without You
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youtube
I Won't Last A Day Without You - Diana Ross (Touch Me In The Morning, 1973)
#Soul#Soul Music#Soul Music Songs#Music#Music Songs#I Won't Last A Day Without You#Diana Ross#Touch Me In The Morning#1973#Motown#Youtube
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youtube
Carpenters
I Won't Last a Day Without You
A Song for You
1972
#carpenters#i won't last a day without you#a song for you#70s music#ballad#music#pop music#a song for you a song for you a song for you a song for you#Youtube
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Daily November crying sessions start today
#why. who. how. how tf does my professor think it's okay to assign 4 major assignments in the same amount of weeks + 4-6 readings every week#all of which are ~20 pages.#i've got all that to do and another big assignment for a different class. plus the weekly readings and reflections for that one.#and i have work.#i've stupidly decided to volunteer for a thing on saturday in the hopes of bulking up my resume + rubbing elbows with the administration.#and i have a medical thing on friday and i'll be looped out and likely will have to sleep half the day. probably won't get ANY work done.#what else..... some fairly easy stuff for my other class thank GOD. but a lot of reading and preparing for a few big essays.#november is the month i hate the fucking most. i always lose my mind in november. and no wonder!!!!!!#meanwhile people are bugging me to hang out. i will be in a student-coma until approx. the first week of december. see you then. peace.#oh and my BIL + SIL sitting me down and showing me all their europe honeymoon photos for 2 HOURS last night is also not helping my mood.#fuck you lol#like i'm happy for you and nice photos but also? Fuck You.#if i can offer some dark humour though.....#my fic axis exists because of a legitimate smidge of insanity i experienced last year. it shifted the way i looked at the world and at grie#sooooo i wonder what kind of fic my mind will crank out this time?#i don't think i'm at risk of losing it this year though. doesn't seem that way. but we'll see!#i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health f#rst i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental health first i can write/draw good things without sacrificing my mental heal
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Song of the Day: January 14
"Diva's Lament (Whatever Happened to My Part)" from Monty Python's Spamalot
#song of the day#two hours in a car + four hours in a different car + eight hours on the train + two hours in yet a different car(truck) and now home!#it was a good trip and I'm glad to have done it (actually there's a couple people I didn't get to see so I could've gone for longer)#but today was big stinky balls and I'm so glad to be home at last#the cats are very happy to see us and my poor plants. my poor plants. maybe actually I could not have been gone any longer.#I left such detailed notes on watering but it didn't occur to me to also specify that they should be allowed /light/ my poor plants#anyway our train stopped dead for half an hour outside DC while they changed motors and it was so dark and cold and boring#and I thought 'what's a song I might know all the words to that I've never tried to remember without backing. a nice test song'#and for some reason I came up with Spamalot! a very fun musical#I do indeed know all of the Diva's Lament though I couldn't get You Won't Succeed on Broadway all in the right order#Duncan did ask me what I was thinking about and I got to deliver a couple Diva's Lament lines deadpan#'they've been out searching for a shrub / out shopping for a bush! well they can kiss my tush! / seems to me they've really lost the plot'#no better nonsense than Spamalot
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japanese medical negligence will drive you to american without health insurance behaviors
#hi hi hello tumblr#my migraines came back with a vengence#i didn't realize it for the 10 years i've had them#but i am pretty sure they were hemiplegic this whole time#got weakness and numbness down one side of my body from my first migraine ar 12 or 13#and just thought that was normal migraine with aura#others on my dad's side of the family (the white people) had sever migraines too so i grew up thinking it was normal#come to think of it in 10 years even an introvert like me has met 20-30 people with migraine and none of them had symptoms like mine#well this time i had leg numbness and weakness to the point of foot drop start on sunday#puking intensely wednsday - thursday#the headache finally came friday#blurred vision throughout...but i had a prolonged aura w out headache last month that didn't quite resolve#headache and nausea and vision has calmed but won't totally go away now#this whole time they worked me up for stroke and autoimmune diseases#and when that comes back normal and i say i'm pretty sure that was all a turbo migraine#the doctor starts googling migraine in front of me and is like well...you have symptoms of it but i don't know#this is a NEURO mind you not a general internist#i begged for him to nuke the way past 3 days status migraine with steroids like in the US#told they don't do that in japan#i asked to try reyvow#no to that because “my other symtoms are worse and that's only for the headache part”#i asked for a headache specialist#told none was available#eventually was kicked to the curb with 10 nausea pills and my records to take somewhere else#my foot perked up a bit after the headache started but is still droopy and weak#when i asked about PT i got “well you can still walk”#and when i said it catches on the ground and i trip sometimes and i can't walk quickly without dragging my leg i was told “well walk slowly#not even recommended home exercises#so now i'm on physical therapy YouTube trying to rehab my own fucking foot drop#i will try to find a neuro who knows about hemiplegic migraine and will treat status migraines agressively
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Honestly I feel so empty inside I'm trying to fake excitement for things I would usually feel genuine excitement about. I really thought I was more okay than I actually am
#I am going to school 2 days this week though because if I go this entire week without seeing my boy I will literally go insane#I kind of wish I could go to work just to feel *normal* but I really cannot work this weekend OR next weekend#my mom told me she won't allow me to work next week sunday either and I think she has the right of it.#I need to be with my mom next weekend too. the whole days. or else#I have a fucking job interview on wednesday. are you kidding me.#i was busy with that all week last week and now this happened and theres nothing in my mind that Matters right now.#I cannot fucking have a JOB INTERVIEW THIS FUCKING WEEK. okay
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it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such
#if i say it enough i will remember it's true#can you guess which aspect of capitalism i'm struggling with today?#it does not help my bones are somehow WORSE than yesterday even after all of the rest i took so that's Super Fun:tm:#so i've got that on in the back of my head#ugh#i... am putting off calling my grandma - i meant to do it last week but i got too in my head about it#and uno reversed myself into forgetting to do it at all until the Worst Times Possible#(generally around Normal Fuckin Meal Times)#i want to call to wish her a belated mother's day and check in re: grandpa but also...#also i don't want to have to do a phone call i don't want to talk to them about anything at all#they stress me out to talk to and it makes me super uncomfortable to be on the phone in general let alone with a Heavy Topic over our heads#like.... i'm comfortable with where i'm at acceptance-wise with Grandpa's whole situation#and i know i am late for a better relationship with the pair of them in general#like i'm not going to repair a relationship that wasn't built to collapse down to this point this is as far as it got built up to#i'm not building more relationship between me and someone who i know is passing soon when they didn't take the opportunity either#like they had just as much chance as me to improve our relationship after i became an adult and they chose to use my mother as#an intermediary which has stunted their connection to me and that's not my fault#i admittedly did not reach out but i was not taught i could safely do that to anyone#because my parents badmouth literally any person they know for one reason or another#i regularly fuck up in conversations with my grandparents because i'll say somethign that is a holdover from my understanding of them#through my parents and it's like. kind of really insulting! and i've been doing it my whole life and i know as soon as i get their reaction#and i can't recover because i don't actually know them at all#so i can't be like ''oh my god i know that's inaccurate i have no idea why i said that'' because i *don't* know until after i've done it#every goddamn time it happened the last time i got a call from them too#like... my bio fam/family of origin is just not good at keeping in touch and i know i'm a product of that#and i know theoretically how to adjust for it but it does require work on the other end of the line too#and unfortunately i know my bio family too well and know they won't do their part#i grew up in the group project everyone hates#and i'm on my way to deciding they can show up to the presentation day without me#i've started a new family project over here with blackjack and hookers
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Ok
#kinda vent post cause ive been anxious ever since we got coffee this evening#I promise I'm not trying to be weird or anything. I'm just#I just really don't want to screw this up. I know we spent almost the last year avoiding each other#And I know things between us were rocky for a bit before that#and I hope I'm not overwhelming you. I know things won't be better overnight#I know we've distanced so much and theres so much awkward history there. I know things are different now#And I respect that. I respect your relationship and your new life. I'm not trying to impose or make you uncomfortable#I'm just anxious and tbh scared an nervous too. I don't want to fuck this up. If theres a chance for us to be close friends again I want it#Im so so so scared of fucking it up. I feel like I forgot how to be friends & after the way I left things Im scared that I lost my chance#I'm scared that it's not gonna work and that a permanent goodbye is in our future. I'm scared that you won't want me around after all#I would understand if that became the case.. but I really don't want that#I cant text you this without seeming like an overbearing clingy anxious mess of an ex but ive been on the verge of a panic attack all night#just for the fear that I'm fucking up already somehow. Just the fear that this isn't going to work and I shouldn't even try#I think I spent so long avoiding you that now I don't know what to do with myself. But I'm trying to be normal#I promise I dont have any motives other than missing a really great friendship and being tired of missing friends#And maybe I still have a ways to go in the emotional healing department but I think I'm ok enough to try. I've been ok for a while now#If you see this please know that I mean every word. If you never see it thats ok because I just need to get it off my chest before I burst#I don't want to scare you off or lose you again. if thats what it comes to then know I'll always miss and appreciate you for all my days#Thats all. Ive been a ball of nerves all evening & I just needed to air this out cause having this weight sitting on my chest is too much#emma rambles#personal#vent post
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-Hey🌹
(also- read the tags please..)
#I went back? perhaps...#I wanted to make this post to clarify some things and also..#I wanted to apologize for my “bad mood” last Friday.. I already wasn't doing well some days. so...#yeah. I know it was very wrong of me to say some things and well. that's it. I'm so sorry..#I also wanted to say and apologize to the people who gave me art ideas and I didn't do it.#as I said before. I've been pretty bad. and even more full of things to do and think about..#I know I should have told you guys this earlier but unfortunately I couldn't...#so- I won't be able to make them anymore. but... I'm open to art ideas now for christmas!#without being crk characters and also without being other people's characters (like- art requests if you guys know what i mean)..#maybe yes it could be with other people's characters but- I don't want it to be an art request for example. as i said#sorry for anything again if I said or did something wrong. I swear it wasn't my intention. and if it was. I apologize more for that#so... that's it. I don't have much to say-#just wanted to clarify a few things and wanted to ask for christmas art ideas so I can get back to posting..#sorry again for everything and hope y'all have a wonderful day/night with this wonderful art of mine that i did for you guys💛#hello kitty is one of my favorite characters. love her <333#hello kitty on my style#hello kitty fanart#hello kitty art#hello kitty#art#i'm mel and this is my blog✌️#my art blog#my art#my art <3#art mel#my art style#fanart
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.
#for some reason tiktok has showed me a lot of videos from a hospice nurse today and what was my first fucking thought?!?!?!?!#a simi story#listen up my fucked up brain i won't fucking write sad stories. no fucking way. do dying no sad end no no no.#and now i'm sitting here crying over these videos while i should pack my stuff for tomorrow to move away#i don't even know how this nurse's page ended up on my for you page when i only watch f1 makeup and graphic design videos#i hate these emotional rolecoasters#like... carlos on pole today = happiness and positivity and i don't let anyone to fuck up my mood i even eat one of my fave foods because#this was my last full day at home and now i'm sitting on my bed after i cried my eyes out and i'm just sad and scared#for some reason all day i was thinking about wanting to write a short little something for myself with one of my fave topics as comfort but#then i didn't write it because i don't want people to think i'm obsessed with that topic or something and i didn't really have the#motivation to write because after writing for prompts this summer it's really hard to write without prompts i mean like without someone#waiting for the story and without someone requesting it#i want to write cute stories and i want to write about that one topic over and over again but it's so difficult because... i can't not#care about what people might think if they saw i have like five stories about it or so and i want more#i sometimes don't know what to do with my thoughts and emotions#my useless posts
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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and
#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls#girl#and i was so tired#am so tired#i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't#i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne#i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main#i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i#liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest#i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic#everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much#draining and destroys my peace and then they leave#it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship#whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night#every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on#pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking#into a million tiny pieces everytime#i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the#sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's#she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of#i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her#but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna#die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy#does that make sense#okay bye i should really start writing a diary
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Hiiii hellooo,
I don't mind sharing my blood with you, honestly. But would you KEEP IT DOWN with the noise, for fuck's sake. People are trying to SLEEP here!
Thank you.
#like please i have been sleeping badly for the last two days#i just want to lose conciousness for a few hours without constantly waking up#and this mosquito just won't shut the fuck up#bsssssbsbsbsbsbs i a such a loud mosquito you will hear me through the whole room but you won't find me...#fucking hell#this is scar ranting
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People in travel groups be like: "I'll travel to this country in a month and I want to be able have some basic conversations but I don't want to practice anything other than listening and those lessons must be super short because I only have 5 minutes a day."
...Ma'am you ain't gonna learn any language that way...
#Podcasts audio lessons and full immersion are great tools but they'll only work their magic if used together with other methods#You may be able to retain some sentences and grammar lessons but without additional practice that knowledge won't last#And if you just wanna say hello thank you and the times of the day without thinking further you want a phrasebook not a lesson#ranting because that person was super rude in the comments and I eventually gave up arguing
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are you even really friends with your jewish friends if they haven't sobbed in front of you about antisemitism for hours and then told you that they trust you to hide them in your attic if needed?
#(and you then offered to read people love dead jews without being pressured and borrowed it that night)#i have some really really good friends#this has been such a fucking hard month and i feel so alone in it all#tonight was good#it's now 1am so it's officially the 2 year anniversary of someone trying to burn down my synagogue#we're having a special service to honor the bystander who called the fire department to report the flames#that's how low the bar is y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the level of allyship we are celebrating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you don't IGNORE a synagogue that is ACTIVELY BURNING DOWN then you too can receive a literal award#the sanctuary btw is still not rebuilt and won't be for probably at least another 3-5 years#because of how extensive the damage was#the nazi who did it hasn't even had his trial yet#we had our last 2 years of high holy day services in an episcopalian church that generously shared their space with us#i just don't know how to articulate to someone who doesn't get it.... like.....#just how profound an impact this REAL PHYSICAL threat of danger has at all times on all of us#woven in our dna and solidified from centuries and centuries of reinforcement in its accuracy#there has never once in history in any culture or civilization been a place where jews were fuly safe#and it is so hard feeling like the walls are closing in again#personal#antisemitism tw#may delete this later tbd
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opening my word doc today like
#god grant me the power to kill you if I don't get some FCKN SLEEP SOON#me last night: well I've had a sorta decent few days without taking anything to sleep. and I hate the zombie feeling when I DO take stuff so#I know I just won't take anything to nock me out like a big time prey animal at the zoo who needs a dental cleaning even tho#I can FEEL the no sleepy syndrome kicking into fifth gear#like you absolute MORON ur a zombie now anyway. are you happy? didn't take anything to sleep. still fucked. cause you didn't sleep.#hate 2am me she is AWFUL. what a dick.#erin explains it all
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my grandma got her (less than a year old, untrained, unhousebroke, has been in a total of 3 different places her whole life) puppy a service dog vest.
we're doing this again, huh?
#she also got her last dog a service dog vest#and had her registered as an emotional support animal#her last dog had almost no recall and very poor training#my grandma would take her to senior centers and senior housing areas and the dog would just run up to people#jump on their legs and jump on their laps without being asked#i really wish she wouldn't have gotten another dog#she doesn't pay it any attention#she sits watching tv & doing stuff on her phone and just. exists with the dog. like to the point where when the dog WAS alerting#that she had to go out and go potty (back when she did that) my grandma would straight up just ignore her bc#'oh she just wants to go outside she won't go potty'#and now we have a dog who sometimes uses potty pads and sometimes uses the fucking living room carpet or the tile#but never alerts to needing to go outside#the most my grandma interacts with her (genuinely) is taking her to go potty (a couple times a day) brushing her (or attempting to. idk if#she still tries to brush the dog bc it would scream and nip at her when she did) and bringing her out for the am and to bed in the pm#i feel bad for not liking the dog bc i know its not her fault its my grandmas#but also the dog is annoying as fuck and will not leave its crate when my grandma is out of the house. you open the door and she just.#stays there. and stares at you.#you can walk away and leave the door open and she won't go anywhere.#I'M. SO. TIRED.#its going to be ANOTHER fucking 10-13 years of HER DOG pissing on the floor i just know it
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