#I WANT MORE OF HIM SO SO BAD BUT IM SO SCARED FOR HIM

[withlovemark]

“how to ask your girlfriend if you’re bad at sex?”

warnings: smut! vibrator, protected sex, overstimulation, squirting

jisung! rummages through your drawers looking for your phone charger, his phone a little under 20%, when he stumbled upon a pink device, half the size of his hand, with a hello kitty top, confusion etched onto his face.

bringing it closer, he examines his new discovery. clicking on the one button he could find, the device comes to life, vibration coursing through his fingers.

he drops it in shock, finally realizing what it was before furiously shutting it off as fast as he could, every click just switching to a new beat before finally powering off and throwing it back where he found it, slamming! your drawer shut.

why the hell did you have a vibrator?

“sungie, you okay in there?,” you yell from your living room.

“y-yeah baby! just dropped my phone,” he replies quickly pulling his phone out of his pocket and doing the only thing he could think of.

—

*7 dream, 1 cup*

jisung: hypothetically…

haechan: i’m sleeping.

jisung: if u find a hypothetical hello kitty vibrator in ur girl’s hypothetical drawer, does that mean ur bad at sex…hypothetically?

haechan: im up

chenle: yes

mark: no

jisung: mark pls elaborate

chenle: fuck u how about me?

jisung: idgaf about ur opinion!

haechan: yeah! wdgaf!

chenle: k. all im saying is my girl doesn’t need a vibrator with how good my dick is

mark: don’t listen to him, think of the vibrator as your friend 🙂‍↕️

jisung: this isn’t about me! it’s hypothetical!

haechan: yeah, i agree with mark … my girl and i tried it last month and 😩😮‍💨🤯🪦💐🕊️☁️👼👍

mark: too much unwanted information about ur sex life but yeah same here, felt like i died and went to heaven for a split second too

haechan: omg what type of vibrator ur girl got? 😛

mark: not telling you

haechan: ☹️

chenle: real men used to go to war for pussy now they let a battery operated device beat them at sex

haechan: stfu chenle u know nothing!

mark: real men used to go to war for pussy now they’re scared once their girl touches a vibrator she’ll never need his dick again

haechan: ooooohhhh get him!

*chenle has left the gc*

haechan: dramatic ass bitch, no one add him back!

jeno: what’s happening here?

*renjun has added chenle to the gc*

mark: couldn’t even last a second 😂

haechan: renjun you traitor!

renjun: i actually don’t give a fuck!, jisung just go talk to your girlfriend about it for the love of god! and chenle stop messaging me!

chenle: just ordered a vibrator, gonna prove to yall that my girl don’t need that shit

haechan: which one did u get? u want recs? 🤓

jaemin: jisung can you ask y/n where she got her hello kitty vibrator so i can get one for my girl? 🥺

jisung: this is not about y/n!

—

he sighs in frustration, his friends were absolutely no help but he was more at ease knowing that their girlfriends had one too. taking renjun’s advice, he decides to just talk to you about it but he couldn’t find a way to do so.

he stays there on your bed googling how to ask your gf if you're bad at sex?, until his phone died, leaving him staring at the wall.

you entered the room, eyeing him suspiciously, he was supposed to be back in the living room 30 minutes ago, it doesn’t take that long to grab your charger, “you okay?” you ask.

“amibadatsex?,” he quickly blurts out, brain completely shutting down.

“what?,”

“am i bad at sex?,”

“what?! no!,”

“oh…”

“is there a reason why you’re asking this?,”

“i uhm…found your vibrator”

your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, “oh my god jisung, why were you snooping through my stuff!?”

“i wasn’t! i was just looking for your charger, i swear!,” he nervously explains, eyes almost bulging out of their sockets.

“i-i got one when you were on tour,” you confessed, cheeks still pink from this conversation.

“oh…,”

”yeah…” you look down at your feet, just wanting the ground to open up, swallow you whole and take you away from this conversation.

jisung walks over to where you were standing, gently turning your face towards him, “you don’t have to be embarrassed baby but can you please tell me why?, i don’t feel too good about it,” he reveals his insecurity and you knew you had to clear things up.

“i just- i couldn’t cum with my fingers alone anymore…i needed yours but of course that wasn’t possible so i decided to try it out”

he feels his pants tighten at your confession. the image of you getting frustrated at not being able to cum without him going straight to his cock.

“did it work?,”

“uhm yeah, it actually did….but it can never make me feel the way you do,” you admit, easing his worries.

he thinks back to what mark and haechan said. “can i try it?,”

“huh? i mean sure, i don’t know what it would feel like for you though,”

“oh my god no….can i try it on you?,”

“oh…like you’re gonna use it on me?,”

“yeah, can i play with you?,”

“oh o-okay,”

slowly you walk over, grabbing the vibrator out of your drawer and handing it to him, nerves of excitement bubbling through you.

“how does it work?,” he asks, inspecting the pink device again.

“well, it has 8 different vibrations, i usually just use the first 3, they feel the best for me and well you just place it where you would usually touch me,” you explain and he nods attentively.

“sit down,” he backs you into your bed, voice going an octave deeper and all you can do is follow his order.

sitting on the edge of your bed, jisung kneels down right in front of your core, you watch him, feeling yourself getting more turned on with every second that passes.

he pulls your shorts down, hips automatically raising up, before diving back into your clothed core, breathing in your scent and pulling your panties to the side, “you’re already so wet baby,” he praises licking a strip down your folds. there’s no way your vibrator is going to taste you before he does.

“does it turn you on knowing what i'm about to do?,”

you moan in response pussy clenching at nothing, “stop teasing sung please,”

jisung clicks the device once, the vibration hitting your ears in the quiet room, quickly pushing it on your cunt. you hiss at the first contact and he pulls it away, afraid he had hurt you, “what? what happened? are you okay?,”

“im okay sungie it was just too much too quick,” you smile, “here,” you guide him back to your pussy, “just push it lightly first, let me get used to it,” he does so, moving your vibrator in slow circles until it finally hit you at the righ spot, “ohhh, f-fuck,” you moan. jisung takes note of it, placing it there again earning another whine from you, “r-right there, baby, turn it up”

he clicks it again, the device gaining more speed before placing it back on your wet pussy, “oh my god!,” you moan, hand clutching his t-shirt, pussy clenching around air, “f-feel what im feeling baby,” you say, grabbing his other hand and leading it right to your hole. his fingers disappearing in you, “you’re so fucking tight,” he compliments in awe.

with the way he has curled his finger repetitively hitting that spot you can never seem to reach, the vibrator humming against your clit, your body gives in quicker than usual, “i-im cumming, baby i-dont stop, keep it right there,” you moan, pushing his hand harder, the added pressure finally sending you to release, back hitting your bedsheets, eyes rolling back. jisung watches in amazement, collecting the juices with his tongue making you whine.

all he could think about is if you were that tight around his finger, how would you feel around his throbbing cock.

“i need to feel you,” he makes his way over to you, soft lips landing on yours as you taste yourself in his tongue. he pushes his body on top of yours, making you feel his hard member, “you feel that baby? that’s how much i need you”

you swiftly discard his tight jeans, freeing him from his boxers, large cock springing up to his stomach. reaching for the condom in your nightstand, you place it on him, he moans at the squeeze of your hand, his rock hard boner somehow getting harder and you start getting worried. his cock was always enough to make you see stars but with the added vibrations you’re not too sure if you could take it.

you didn’t have much time to dwell on it as he lined up against your core, slowly entering you, moans mixing in the air.

“fuck jisung, y-you’re so big,”

“baby,” he grunts, rocking into you, your wet pussy making it easy for him to slide in and out.

he grabs your vibrator again, clicking it on and placing it back on your clit, pussy immediately tightening around him. he groans as you pull him closer and closer towards you, the vibration going straight to his cock, “holy fuck,” he gasps at the new sensation.

“f-feels so good sungie,” you whine against his ear, hips meeting his every thrust, getting quicker and quicker. the rest of your clothes being thrown across the room. you grab onto his back for support.

with his body against you and yours still being sensitive from your previous orgasm, jisung feels you cum hard. you were so fucking tight around his dick, it all feels too good. his lips swallow your moans as he continues his actions, desperately chasing his release.

“j-jisung” you gasp in pain, vibrator still placed firmly on your clit, but your boyfriend’s thrusts were getting messier and messier, signaling his nearing orgasm, and you wanted him to cum just as hard.

soon enough the pain turned into pleasure, a new commotion stirring up in your stomach, down to your toes. you no longer understand the feeling that’s taking over.

your vibrator has made you cum so many times before but you never felt it work with your boyfriend’s dick — this was entirely new territory.

“f-fuck, j-jisung, i’m gonna-,” you scream at the overstimulation, legs shaking, toes curling and before you knew it your pussy pushed him away, juices squirting onto his belly.

“holy shit babe,” he groans, the action sends jisung into overdrive, watching it all unfold as his release quickly fills up the condom, “aghhh,” he grunts in pleasure, body going slack on yours as you tried to calm your racing hearts.

“what just happened?,” he asks in amazement.

“i-i think i just squirted,”

“you think?”

“i think so, i-i don't know, it's never happened before,” you confess, getting embarrassed. he can’t help but smirk proudly, knowing that he was the first and only person to get you to do that.

jisung kisses you before you have the chance to hide behind your embarrassment.

“that was so. fucking. hot,” he compliments in between kisses” let’s do it again”

—

he finally finds your charger on top of your desk, his phone coming alive. in just a span of 2 hours he and his new friend have made you cum a total of 6 times, him 4, the room smelling of sex. and honestly he could go again but you have made him stop for now, body exhausted.

*7 dream, 1 cup*

jisung: hi chat

haechan: he’s alive! so how was it? tell us everything! 😏

chenle: no one cares

haechan: i care!

mark: yo dude u good? you just stopped responding

jisung: sorry, phone died

jisung: can confirm

jisung: 😩😮‍💨🤯🪦💐🕊️☁️👼👍

*haechan reacted 🤩 to your message*

*mark reacted 😂 to your message*

renjun: you’re welcome

chenle: just paid for expedited shipping yall better not be lying to me rn

jaemin: jisung did you ever ask y/n where she got it?

jisung: oh it’s at www.NowCummingToday.com/sanriocollab-hellokitty-vibrator

jaemin: thank you!! 😚

renjun: that can’t be a real site

jeno: holy shit they have so many options

chenle: robots are gonna take over my girls pussy and it’s your faults

haechan: ooh! try the rose toy! that one’s crazy ahaha 🤓

jisung: 🫡

mark: 🫡

jaemin: 🫡

an: happy bday to my baby jisung <3 (p.s. i tried to do the little smau text thing bcs those are my favorites to read but i honestly couldn’t find an app that was free plus too lazy to figure it out so sorry!…if anyone has tips pls let me know >.< )

[midnight--sadness]

Hiii im a trans guy who loves this blog and the fact you write transmasc Gi-hun so here are some headcanons of mine for transgender Gi-hun <3

- He used to try to conform to what society deems a man should be like, but that got exhausting and was really hard on his mental and physical health. He was constantly micromanaging himself and critiquing his actions for being “too feminine”, even if he was just walking or something.

- He was really shy when it came to coming out to In-ho since he didn’t want him to see him as less of a man. When he told In-ho, they both cried— In-ho because he felt bad that Gi-hun felt he had to keep this part of him from him, and Gi-hun because he was so scared In-ho wouldn’t accept him, but he does with open, loving arms.

- In-ho has a lot of questions, some of which Gi-hun doesn’t know the answers to (mostly about how T works, like, the biological processes of it). They end up cuddling in front of In-ho’s computer, In-ho in Gi-hun’s lap as they do their research

- In-ho’s unconditional love for Gi-hun makes him infinitely more confident in who he is as a man, especially one that is tired of conforming to cisgender societal norms when it comes to gender. He knows he’s a man, he doesn’t give a shit about what people think as long as he’s happy and confident. Gets immense euphoria from being able to dress however the fuck he wants and still be referred to with he/him pronouns

- Being taller than In-ho gives Gi-hun gender euphoria

- Gi-hun lets In-ho help him with his T shot, which In-ho treats as a huge honor and Gi-hun considers a relief because it’s much easier to get his boyfriend to do his injections than to get over his fear of needles enough to jab himself. The fact that In-ho treats it as a beautiful honor is just a bonus. In-ho loves Gi-hun, he worships him

Bonus nsfw headcanon: When you get on T, it makes your clit get bigger, something that’s referred to as a t-dick or bottom growth. He’s nervous about how In-ho might react to it, but In-ho is pretty damn enamored. He loves sucking Gi-hun off I just know it, especially when Gi-hun loses his composure and starts fucking In-ho’s face.

i'm very happy u like my blog and the way i write gihun 💖🫶😘

inho worshipping gihun is so special to me �� that sweet man deserves to have the ground he walks on kissed and inho will make sure everyone is aware of how brilliantly gihun shines 😩

and yes to gihun dressing however he wants!! he can wear a skirt and that doesn't make him any less of a man 🫶

[spinchip]

Never the dark 7, 10 [dareth x Cyrus, it's not a pairing I've seen before and it humors me in a good way], and 11?

[ask meme]

YAAAY THANK YOUUU

7: Where did the title come from?

Bury Me Low by 8 Graves! I was listening to this song a LOT when conceptualizing the fic and I feel like the whole thing kinda describes Zane in the fic. In retrospect, I do kinda wish I had named it something smoother, I had a few ideas for what I might change it to (Inside the Dark, Forsaken Dark, and [redacted because i might be using it for another project teehee]) but I do like Never the Dark and I think i'll keep it lol

the funniest thing about this song is that I played it so much I got sick of it and now I wont listen to it

If I die today, it won't be so bad I can escape all the nightmares I've had All of my angry and all of my sad Gone in the blink of an eye I've seen the devil. I've shaken his hand I've seen the evil that dwells in a man For all of my wisdom, I can't understand ...... If I die today, it won’t be so hard Everything scares me, but never the dark

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Polyninja because I love them and the fucked up relationship dynamic post zanedeath called to me.

Pixal/Skylor has always been awesome but I included it here specifically because of how I view their character actions in the three year time skip. Skylor joins the ninja a few month after Zane dies and despite the fact that they don't harbor any ill will towards her, Zanes absence is a fresh wound that it feels like she's trying to step into. It makes everyone bleed. No one is coping well and things get messy and tense between skylor, the ninja, and pixal until Skylor has a mental breakdown and removes herself from the team (trauma response due to the nature of how her father raised her.) Skylor was never part of the team- she's not been there from the beginning, so she's an outsider. And so is Pixal. (Not intentionally of course, but the others share a different kind of grief that the two don't.) Cyrus eventually convinced Pixal to go to therapy where she gets some clarity on things and reaches out to Sky to apologize again for any role she played in the teams tension with her. She invites Skylor over for dinner and they accidentally end up talking for 6 hours- and the rest is history

(Skylor IS on good terms with the ninja btw. they apologized and hashed things out- but she won't rejoin the team for a lot of different reasons.)

Coppershipping my beloved. new-ish in the ficverse! They were starting to be more friendly with eachother after zanedeath, and that progressed post s11. Dareth took his grief at losing Zane as motivation to get in better shape and actually try and train, so he hits the gym and puts on a lot of muscle. takes up boxing. He wants to be able to do more to help if something happens again. He ends up putting his new skills to use protecting Cyrus from something or another and Cyrus asks him to be his bodyguard. They spend a lot of time together and fall in love teeheehee

also, fun fact for you, Dareth handmade all the ninja suits they wear in NTD!

11: What do you like best about this fic?

oh man. Is it bad to say the fact that it's almost finished? I'm just really proud I've been able to stick with it and put in the time and effort. I've got a pretty spotty track record with chaptered work- i lose motivation and drop things a lot, unfortunately. But i'm still dedicated to finishing NTD!

and im really proud of the wordcount! 100k!!!!!!! WAOW

[sdv-confessions]

one time someone did the blanket statement of “all shane lovers have a savior complex huehuehue” and i went into the comments/reblogs (idr it was over half a year ago) and went on a ramble about why i personally went for shane and they were like “thats fair his cutscenes just really scared me” and i said “totally fair i looked them up in advance so id know how to activate them so i also had some spoilers which not having wouldve definitely altered my experience of shane in that direction too” and they were like “ah yeah fair” and i still think of it because i got so lucky that they were respectful. i kinda steer out of the way of the surface-level shane thoughts from people because while i get the “he just needs a friend” pov i will never appreciate the “🫵 if you like shane you have a savior complex/daddy issues and need to go to therapy and learn to stand up for yourself” especially because it feels like he is the ONLY marriage candidate that gets the armchair psychology thrust towards the player from other players like dude. the appeal (at least for me) is that he puts in the work to improve. do people get how rare that is??? ITS FUCKING RARE!!! out of every bad friend ive had, 1 (one) has improved as a person, and that was during our year apart. ONE PERSON!!! i dont exactly have the best track record when it comes to friends too. he (shane) 👏 puts 👏 in 👏 the 👏 work 👏 & 👏 he 👏 is 👏 sweet!

tired of shane fans being the only marriage candidate fans getting armchair psychology shoved down our throats especially to this extent when its mainly because hes suicidal (because lets be real thats one of the real reasons we get this treatment like “oh you want to save him” no!!! at least *i* want to give him motivation to save himself and im pretty sure thats many a shane fan!!! fuck you!!!) and clearly there is No Further Nuance. i talked in circles here but this gets me so annoyed.

!!!clarification that if you dont like him i dont actually mind i just dont like when it gets shoved onto us shane fans because some dislike is more towards the fans (and i dont think ive seen any on this blog this is just a rant)!!!

.

[mymakuu]

Chapter 4!

(I think this one’s mostly filler because my school work was crushing me this week, im sorry, also a huge portion of the italic and bold words were lost in this chapter as well as the others)

“we can talk about this over breakfast! Your new cyborg parts should still be adjusting to swallowing, but they have foods you can eat, by now you should be able to swallow smaller solids.”

this wasn’t exciting to Raiden. Being humiliated was enough, walking around Desperado with Sam’s hand on his back had made him lose his appetite. Monsoon and another employee walked by.

“you two look like a cute couple!”

Monsoon’s joke made Sam take his hand off Raiden’s back.

“I'm just making sure he doesn’t run away”

“if he does we can disable his legs”

Raiden’s eye shot open

“You can what now?”

“You’re still an enemy to us Jack, we had to make sure we couldn’t do anything extreme.”

Raiden had NEVER hated Monsoon more in his life, he started to shake again. Sam reached out to put his hand on his shoulder but Raiden punched him right in the jaw. When Sam stumbled back Raiden tried to go after him again, but Monsoon grabbed Raiden and the employee with him grabbed Sam and helped him stand up. Before Raiden knew it his entire cybernetic body had gone limp.

“(lords name in vain, and the d word) RAIDEN! WHAT THE (h word) IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Raiden couldn’t reply to Monsoon; his bottom jaw was part of his cybernetics so it was disabled too. The employee who was with Monsoon was now wiping blood off Sam’s nose, it looked bruised. Monsoon got right into Raiden’s ear before speaking.

“You're an employee here now. If you don’t want to be treated like trash you don’t ACT like trash. If you're so scared of being disabled then stay in line. I won't hesitate to toss your useless (a word) into scrap metal, got it?”

Monsoon dropped Raiden and let him slump down on the floor like a discarded doll. It was probably better not to push Monsoon’s buttons, and with that came Sam’s buttons, Khamsin’s buttons, Sundowner’s and Mistral’s, and EVERY other useless cyborg soldiers’ buttons. Any step out of line and Monsoon would probably tell everyone in California his secret. Raiden was finally able to stand up, but with that came feeling pain again, a pulsing electric shock throughout his entire body was the most present. He weakly stood up, Monsoon grabbed his hair and yanked him up like a scruffed puppy. Monsoon then turned to Sam who was still rubbing his nose and asking the employee if it was, “really that bad” and if the bleeding had stopped.

“Sam if he puts ANYTHING out of line you tell me. We could use some more scrap metal anyways.”

Monsoon then said something to his employee in another language and they both walked away. Sam finally stopped rubbing his nose and looked at Raiden, he looked mad.

“I expect better out of you. I spared your life time after time and all you do punish me.”

Raiden opened his mouth but Sam shushed him.

“I won't scrap you on your next mistake, but I won't hesitate to cut your other arm off either. We’re not enemies anymore.”

Sam pushed Raiden a little, suggesting that they should get walking again.

“if you falter that easily at a simple comment then I’d hate to see how you handle a real fight. We don’t use VR on our grown soldiers here, but then again you're not acting very grown”

Raiden stayed quiet, Sam and Monsoon had a point. It was a point he was fond of but it was true.

“Stand straight. We’re going straight to training.”

Raiden pulled his head up, he still felt a little woozy from having his body parts disabled, the pulsing shock hadn’t left either. He felt too sick to eat but too hungry to train, and Sam wasn’t going to go easy on him now that he’d punched him. The training room wasn’t too far, it was the same one where Raiden had cut that punching bag, the memory set back in again, the room got dark and Raiden felt weak, Sam looked over and noticed.

“what’s wrong?”

Sam said something after this, but Raiden couldn’t understand. Raiden’s vision suddenly blurred and before he knew it he was in Med Bay again, this time he was sitting up in a chair with 3 IVs in his arm.

“What happened there?”

Sam was trying to hide his panic, but he wasn’t that good at it. Sam put his hand on Raiden’s shoulder and looked into his eye. the sun was hitting Sam's eyes so perfectly, that they went some vicious to a soft caring deep brown. Raiden couldn’t help but look into them, it was like indulging on something sweet. Raiden just stared into them for a while, until he felt his face get hot.

“you passed out. What happened?”

monsoon was there too, his employee wasn’t, and sundowner.

“Raiden, what happened?”

Sam took his hand off Raiden’s shoulder.

“I'm sorry… I must have pushed you //too far//”

Monsoon began to talk over him

“Are you even a soldier? You pass out after just stepping into the training grounds? maybe //we should just toss you-//”

Sundowner started to talk over him.

“was it because of your prior training?”

After Sundowner said that everyone started to talk over each other, it all got very confusing, and loud. Raiden’s pupil darted between the three of them until he locked his eye with Sam again. He looked into Sam’s brown eyes and imaged them as Rose’s. her loving, deep, brown eyes. He couldn’t believe he was dead to her, to the whole world. This was really his new life now. He snapped back to reality, looking into Sam’s eyes, just then he heard Sundowner's voice say something abhorrent.

“you're lookin’ into his eyes an awful lot Jacklyn”

Suddenly the room felt frozen. Monsoon looked at Sundowner, Sam and Raiden looked away from each other, everyone looked shocked or confused. Monsoon faked an awkward smile before speaking, his accent suddenly slightly thicker than normal.

“Sundowner let’s not use nicknames yet.”

“right.”

Sam still looked embarrassed.

“you can probably stand up now Raiden.”

Raiden stood up, and wobbled a bit but managed to keep his balance, Sam reached out to catch him but a judgmental look from Sundowner made him pull away.

“he can stan don his own.”

Sam nodded and stood back. Raiden stood up straight and looked up at Sam as Monsoon grabbed his arm and pulled the IVs out.

“Are you even qualified to be doing this?”

Monsoon ignored him and kept wiping his arm off with rubbing alcohol, then he wrapped some bandages on it.

“We should probably go back to training now…”

Sam was trying to avoid eye contact, but he finally looked up at Raiden’s face, not his eye.

“We don’t have to do it in the training room. We can practice out- “

“not a chance”

Monsoon interrupted Sam.

“Raiden isn’t leaving the facility unless he’s in chains.”

Raiden glanced at Monsoon, he was serious. The thought of training outside and running away hadn’t occurred to him yet, knowing Desperado they probably had beds of land mines and walls of barbed wire outside, maybe they'd only be child-sized to keep their hostages from escaping.

“He’s not going to run away. We can disable his whole body remember?”

Monsoon nodded and then looked at Raiden.

“Fine. Train him outside. Just keep him away from the Rose bushes”

Monsoon smiled after saying this, for being the leader he was just as immature as a middle school boy, it was a wonder he was married out of any cyborg here. Monsoon saying this also meant he had probably gone through Raiden’s medical records after he was taken in, which made Raiden hate him even more.

“Alright. Come on Raiden, I’ll show you the outdoor training grounds, it's much cleaner than the indoor ones!”

Sam put his hand on Raiden’s back and started to walk with him again, he seemed more excited, whether it was to train outside or because he was getting away from his bosses was up for debate. Raiden still felt a little sickly from his Med Bay trip, Sam kept pushing him until they got to an elevator. It smelled like vanilla, and the lack of music made the place feel desolate. Sam finally took his hand off Raiden’s back, they just stood beside each other a little awkwardly and waited for the doors to open again. The elevator ride was a little long, or maybe it felt longer because Sam was there, or it was the IV wearing off. Eventually, they got to the roof of the World Marshal building, it was a helicopter landing but there were no helicopters there, just a plain empty area.

“We can duel up here, just you and me Blondie.”

Out of all the nicknames, this was the best. Sam put his hand on his sword holster, Raiden realized he still didn’t have his half-blade, and Desperado cyborgs had a much sleeker design compared to Maverick Security cyborgs.

“your sword is gone. But you can use this one”

Sam handed him a wooden training sword, it seemed so unfair that Sam got a real katana while Raiden was stuck with a training sword, it was too small anyway.

“don’t worry”

Sam pushed on the trigger of his sheath, and a wooden sword popped out too.

“can’t have you losing that arm again, cost us a fortune to repair it.”

Raiden looked down at his arm, and then back at Sam, who was now smirking at him.

“oh, by the way, I have a surprise for you.”

Same walked over to him, getting right face to face with him. Then he reached up and pulled up the bandages around his eye.

“I don’t know if you noticed. But we fixed your eye too. And it doesn’t look like Monsoon’s snail eyes, don’t worry.”

“Snail eyes?”

“you’ll see later, let's get back on track.”

Raiden was now looking into both of Sam’s eyes. The color reminded him of a jaguar's eyes, and he only just now noticed that one of them was lazy. He reached up and touched his eye, feeling it over a couple of times and messing with his eyelid until Sam spoke again.

“I thought you'd realize after the first day. I guess you don’t use your mirror often”

Raiden hadn’t really looked at himself in the mirror in a while. It got harder and harder the more cybernetics he got or the more missions he was sent on. After “joining” Desperado it got near impossible to even think of that. Sam finally stepped back and drew his wooden sword.

“Focus Blondie. I want tough soldiers here.”

Raiden wasn’t used to having depth perception, it felt so odd, he had gotten used to only having one eye that it was odd to have 2. He drew his wooden sword and ran towards Sam. Sam instantly undertook his blade and twisted Raiden around so he fell over like a puppy.

“that’s your first mistake, you charge in expecting to chop away at your enemies, but you don’t put too much thought into it.”

Sam Pulled Raiden up and hit his legs lightly. Raiden stood up straight and tried to attack Sam again, but Sam deflected all his attacks.

“you’re self-taught, right?”

“you already know that”

“I'm pretty sure our child-brains could see that. You're sloppy.”

Raiden Stayed quiet. Sam had been trained on the blade since he was a child, and it had been passed in his family for generations, maybe it was time to shut up and listen.

“And that “tool of justice” thing? You need to drop that. Your sword is a weapon, and weapons are used for acts of violence.”

“That's not true- “

“Did blood not spill when you fought for justice?”

Raiden stayed quiet and thought for a bit. There hadn’t been a time when his “justice” didn’t involve the loss of a life.

“But- but those didn’t matter. They were raising child soldiers.”

“what makes a life matter to you Blondie”

Raiden opened his mouth but no words came out, he just paused for a while, thinking…

“what you do with it. Does a life matter if it's only used for killing the weak and innocent?”

“mmm… you make a good point Blondie. But remember what Monsoon taught you.”

Raiden didn’t want to think anymore, about anything, he was up here to duel Sam, not think about morals and life. Besides, being in desperado meant he didn’t need those morals anyway.

“Can we just get to fighting”

“You're fighting with your own mind; how can you fight me?”

“that’s beside the point”

Raiden slammed his wooden sword into Sam’s side and then bonked his head with it.

“you let your guard down.”

Sam stood up.

“Oh, so we're playing that game?”

Sam came towards Raiden and hit his armpit hard, then swung his sword around and nearly hit his eye.

“memories flooding back eh pretty boy?”

Raiden brought up his sword and attacked Sam’s center, then he repeatedly slashed at Sam’s torso and legs. Eventually, Sam deflected his attacks and grabbed his sword in between his palms, his grip was surprisingly strong, and it took a lot for Raiden to pull his sword out of Sam’s grip. Sam started his attacks, they were hard and nearly impossible to dodge or parry. Eventually, Raiden stumbled back and Sam grabbed his head and lifted him by it, he threw Raiden down, and just then realized his mistake. Raiden groaned in pain, and Sam lifted him by his hands.

“Raiden! Are you ok?!”

Raiden used Sam’s kindness to his advantage, and he yanked Sam down to the ground and pushed his sword to his throat.

“You're too cocky.”

Sam pushed Raiden off of himself easily and then brushed himself off as if he had just come in contact with something dirty.

“And you care too much.”

“I’m your mentor. Should I not care?”

Something about Sam being his mentor still brought that empty dry feeling to his stomach. He didn’t see Sam as anything more than a smudge on his visor. Before they could continue their duel, Sundowner came up from the elevator.

“you trainin’ him up here?”

“you said outside.”

“I thought you meant in one of the gardens!”

“he would destroy our gardens.”

“well go train elsewhere. Some of us have work to do.”

Sam took Raiden’s wooden sword off of him, and they started to walk to the elevator. Sundowner finally stepped out and let them in, Sam pushed the button to the bottom floor, it would be a looong ride down from there.

The ride down was mostly quiet until the door opened on the 15th floor and someone else got on, it was the employee that was with Monsoon earlier.

“Hi Sam”

“Ola.”

Sam nudged Raiden and got in his ear to whisper, “That’s Monsoon's wife”, Raiden looked at her and whispered back, “She’s short”, before continuing their elevator ride in silence. Eventually, she got off, and some other employees who all said hi to Sam and gave Raiden dirty looks got on and off, Khamsin even got on at one point, but he got off shortly after. The elevator stopped at the first floor and Sam guided Raiden to get off.

“I'm not allowed to give you a full tour of the base yet. But we can find a new place to train for now.”

Sam took Raiden’s hand to guide him but quickly let go when he saw Monsoon walk past. Monsoon looked at them, it was hard to tell what kind of look it was, but if it was Monsoon, it usually wasn’t a good look, but he kept walking.

“do you guys do anything, or do you just walk around?”

“Some of us stand around.”

Raiden gave him the blankest expression he could, and it was easy to do so since that joke was worse than being nicknamed “Jetstream”. Sam chuckled at his joke and felt no shame for doing it alone, eventually he stopped and looked at Raiden again.

“come on pretty boy. I know a place.”

My first ever fanfic!

Criticism is appreciated 

Raiden joins desperado AU

Raiden gripped the concrete as hard as he could. Shaking in pain as his blood spilled out of his chest. He reached for his weapon in a final attempt to endure it, but it was quickly kicked away.

“Are you finally done?”

Monsoon said while stepping closer, his metal feet against the concrete caused Raiden’s heart to beat faster, so fast that it was all he could hear.

“what can you even do now? Stand up. Show me a man.”

He felt Monsoon’s Sai hit his chin, not a light tapping but a slam.

Instead of giving up in that moment, Raiden forced himself to stand up. His vision was incredibly blurry, it was impossible to see Monsoon’s kick to the legs until he slammed his head on the concrete. The last thing he heard was the ringing, a loud ringing that faded into a beating, almost like a heartbeat.

Most of Raiden’s memories had completely faded like sand in the wind. But the heartbeat brought something back... something sweet, and comforting. The heartbeat no longer sounded like his own, but his mother’s.

It brought back memories of his mom rubbing his forehead back when he was very young, it was soothing… Raiden had completely forgotten about his failed battle until the ringing came back. When the ringing came back the feeling of a hand on his forehead didn’t go away, in fact, the hand felt warmer and larger than a mother’s hand. Quickly Raiden shot his eye open and saw his enemy, Jetstream Sam, rubbing his forehead. Raiden started to struggle against it but he couldn’t move, making Sam laugh.

“Nice try pretty boy”

he finally took his hand off his head

“those EMP shots we gave you won't fade for HOURS”

“WHERE AM I?”

Raiden couldn’t hide the panic in his voice, that tough cyborg façade was about to be washed away, which Sam found amusing because he laughed again.

“you’re at desperado! Do you really think we’d let a valuable asset like you die on the dirty floor? You’re trash, but-”

“shut up Sam. I’m not here for small talk obviously…”

“well, you’re here for a reason pretty boy...”

“are you going to tell me?”

“am I?”

Sam was toying with him, clear as day. Raiden scowled and decided it was best not to entertain a clown, so he just shut his mouth. Disappointingly Sam wouldn’t mimic this action.

“Have you seen your new parts yet?”

Raiden looked down, he did have new parts, red and black with the Desperado logo on his right thigh.

“what the (f word) is this?”

“your new look pretty boy”

“stop calling me that”

“you don’t like it? The logo I mean.”

The armor was beyond beauty. There wasn’t a word strong enough to describe how pretty it was. Maybe it was just the look of fresh armor, or perhaps it was the scarlet accents. It wasn’t that big ugly logo that’s for sure.

“no”

“ah you’re lying pr- “

Raiden quickly cut him off before he could spit out that nickname.

“what happened? Why is your logo on My leg?

“Well, I was getting there if you'd stopped being so catty.”

Raiden finally shut up and started waiting for Sam’s explanation. Sam put his hand to his chin and gave Raiden one of his snarky smiles. Suddenly being dead on the concrete sounded better than this. Sam was taking way too long to speak at this point, so a headache started to form in Raiden’s forehead. Raiden pushed his head back on his pillow and groaned.

“well since you want to know so bad…”

Sam chuckled again

“you put up quite a fight, we couldn’t let a pretty thing like you go to waste. So instead of shooting you dead then and there, we dragged you into the building and took you to the med bay.”

Sam put his hand on Raiden’s new logo.

“they gave you some new parts, monsoon tore yours up pretty bad. We decided that desperado could use someone like you…”

Raiden opened his eye, Sam's eyelids were hung a little. Not in a tired way, but in a relaxed way, it was unnerving.

“so. I'll give you 2 options… you either join Desperado, as one of our cyborgs, or we use you for scrap metal. It's up to you pretty boy”

Sam's hand was still on the Desperado logo. Sam finally took his hand off and then put it back on Raiden’s forehead, which seemed to soothe his headache a bit. This choice wasn’t hard at all, ANYONE with a moral backbone would rather die before joining a company like DESPERADO! Maybe even people without a moral backbone. Raiden was about to say his answer, but the sliding doors opened before his mouth could. He couldn’t tell who walked in by footsteps alone, they were more clicky than sundowners, but too snippy to be monsoon, and not squeaky enough to be Khamsin’s, which meant it had to be…

“Ola Mistral, come to visit Raidey?”

Raiden felt his body tense up at that awful nickname, his stomach even churned every time it echoed in his ears. Sam could tell it was making Raiden sick, so he slid a metal bucket over beside the bed with his foot.

“visit?” mistrals voice was smooth like a cup of Assam tea. But to Raiden, it sounded as smooth as the noise the bucket made on the floor. “I wouldn't say visit. I'm here to see if he weighed his options”

“He was just on that.”

“Sundowner wants an answer by tonight, any later and we’ll scrap him.”

“We can wait a bit, he already acts like scrap metal.”

“Very funny Sam, but its Sundowner’s word is what we follow. And don’t run from the heard unless you want to be mutton”

Sam was quiet for a bit, in the desperado hierarchy, Sam was at the bottom, he was new to desperado and it showed.

“talk to him, Sam. I want the word by tonight. Monsoons on call today if you need him.”

“yes, ma’am. I'm on it, ma’am”

Mistral’s heels clicked on the metal floors as she walked out of the room. It wasn’t until the sliding doors closed that Sam started talking.

“Please Raiden, just join”

“and why should I? you bunch are just a bunch of moralless terrorists. I’d rather d- “

“No, you wouldn’t. come on Raiden, just join, it's better than what's coming if you don’t”

“why would I listen to you”

Raiden attempted to spit at Sam’s face to keep him away, but Sam just put his hand over his mouth.

“I’m not taking no anymore. You're joining. Welcome to Desperado Raiden.”

Raiden felt an indescribable emotion. Anger? Sadness? Something entirely different? Whatever it was it made him throw up. Sam helped him do it in the bucket while holding his hair back too. Raiden didn’t take this as a kind gesture, after being forced to join an organization a bundle of flowers would feel like a bullet to the brain.

I'm sorry Raiden.’

Sam put his hand on an IV bag full of something blue, turning up the dial a bit. Raiden felt his head getting light and airy, and he started to wobble, before he knew it, he was out cold.

When Raiden finally opened his eyes it was dark out, the room would be pitch black if not for the medical equipment’s glow. He heard what sounded like porcelain cups clicking on each other, and heels on the ground. He noticed that one of the lights in the room was moving, it was a faint red glow. he didn’t put much thought into it, realizing that the EMP shots had finally worn off and he could move now was much more interesting. Raiden sat up and was suddenly making “eye” contact with Monsoon. The man who put him in this situation. Neither of them said anything, it was just an awkward silence for a minute or so before Monsoon set his tray down.

“You're up early.”

Raiden didn’t respond.

“I brought you some green tea”

Raiden still didn’t respond. Anything coming out of his mouth would be out of irrational anger now. He could feel his arms shaking in anger at this point. All he wanted to do was dump that hot tea on Monsoon’s face and smash the cups on his teeth.

“calm down Jack.”

Raiden stayed quiet, being called Jack wasn’t helping him calm down. He raised his arm to grab a cup but his headache had gotten worse, and it had spread to the rest of his mind by now. Monsoon picked up a cup and moved to the side of his bed, putting the cup to Raiden’s lips and making him drink it.

“don’t spit it out. It’ll help that headache of yours.”

Raiden kept it in his mouth without swallowing, the chance of a Desperado member poisoning him had gotten lower, but not low enough for him to swallow.

Monsoon set the cup down and got off the bed. He walked to the other side of the room to grab supplies from a cabinet.

“I knew your secret, Jack.”

Monsoon saying that suddenly made him swallow, he choked a bit but got over it fast. Whatever secret it was didn’t matter. If Monsoon knows it's over for him.

“you couldn’t ‘show me a man’ because you're not one.”

[fucktheroyals]

You know what the worst thing about putting Tenoch's Namor in more things is? I'm gonna become ever more attached to him and someday theyre gonna try and take him away from us. NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. NAMOR CANNOT DIE AT ANY POINT. I WILL BE SICK.

[skunkes]

[insane4fandoms]

GGGGGAAHHHH I SAW THIS BUT I HAD TO WORK

NOW IM HERE AND IM GOING INSANE

Anyways-

MAD TOOK CARE OF HIS WOUNDS. MAD TOOK CARE OF HIS WOUNDS. SOMEONE HOLD ME FOWN IM GOING FERAL (did I mention I love brother dynamics in media?/J)

Always been fascinated with the Bystander Effect myself. It’s bittersweet that no one really does anything when one bad things happens until ONE person steps up to intervene. My theater friends has a running joke about it, as when we see one of us jokingly getting scolded by tech crew, we would run in and shout: “I will NOT be a bystander!!” Good times.

Ugh, Casey doesn’t even believe that someone like mad, a psychopathic child murderer, would actually tend to the bullets wounds and keep him alive if not wanting something from him. Mad just wants to have his baby brother back (he still believes that he can have a relationship with Casey as if the things he did doesn’t matter)

FNAF LORE MENTIONED!! Actually insane that the goofy puppet hand animatronics are possessed by the ghosts of children, the FNAF:TM lore is just as crazy as the game version cuz it’s doing too much 😭

OOOO POCKET WATCH COMIC MOMENT MENTIONED TOO!! Also, I can’t wait to put more dept into them as kids and their relationship with Father Time (the man under the clock for those wondering) and yes, he will be based on a YouTuber >:)

Ugh, love the way you described Mad’s robot hands, gives me chills legit. I also feel that despite the hatred, the small inner child of Casey who adored Mad is the reason he asked about his hands.

Now THIS is why he’s a detective/private investigator, he knows so much from just the evidence he gains and caught Mad off guard, that’s my man! (Proud creator moment)

Get him Casey, rip on him and his flaws and insecurities! Tear down his pride and make him feel insignificant against all those other criminals!! >:)

GOD the way Mad’s anger issues is written I was scared for my boy Casey 😔 I like the thought of him storming out to try and calm down to not and accidentally hurt him reminds me whenever I annoy my brother too much he’ll proceed to walk away into his room in order to not drop kick me.

Poor Azalea, having to be the one able to fit through the doggy door, but I guess that’s an upside to being the shortest ig. Cal will definitely make fun of her in the future lmao.

Casey is completely done with these people lol, my man just revealed himself from the shadows and only then actually gave those two a scare. Bro does NOT want to deal with Mad, nevertheless the Pentas members.

He doesn’t even believe that they willingly went out of their way to rescue him 😭 he needs to know there’s people who care about him (even if in a weird way of caring)

Poor guy, he’s having a ptsd moment. Would give him a big old hug if I wasn’t scared to go near him. (Also logically you don’t hug someone who is in a mental state while experiencing ptsd anyways-)

Mad stalking around looking Casey while he trying to coax him into coming out is giving when your siblings hits you too hard and they’re trying to make you not cry to your parents 🥲 that was me on both ends fr

Since Ethan is 5’8, I give his props for carrying Casey’s 6’3 ass away while Azalea helps her brother.

GIRLBOSS MOMENT FROM AZALEA YOU GO GIRL!! INJECT VENOM INTO HIS BLOOD STREAM AND MAKE HIM WRITHE IN AGONY!!

It’s giving that one blooper moment FNAF:TM where Matt accidentally threw the chair into the wall so hard it got stuck and they just stood there like 🧍🧍

Audibly chuckled on the Tuna melt comment, never fail to make me laugh Caliban.

RRAHHHG I CANT WAIT FOR MORE!! Waiting for more Phoenix lol. Bet Scout is excited to see Casey again, cuz I am excited to see more snippets!

You changed,

You haven’t

A follow up to our lovely collab with @wouldntyou-liketoknow, this is more of a flashback to kinda get into the relationship between Casey and Mad through Mad’s eyes. It may never erase what he’s done, but it may show a glimpse as to why he can’t seem to let Casey go.

Has always been, and always will be known as a monster, yet one soul decided to take a chance, to hold his hand and make him feel something more than just a monster. He was more in that person’s eyes, and he never wanted to let go of that feeling. The simple single touch of another who never views him as nothing more than a…

Shame he no longer can feel the touch.

@crazy-obsessed-enby @iswmperson @lexusinsannus @sammys-magical-au @wouldntyou-liketoknow @the-matpat-ever

He can only dream.

[laurmaus]

all my pdh s2 doodles i need u guys to keep in mind i didnt know All That was gonna happen😭😭😭😭

[sieglinde-freud]

oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng

[puckpocketed]

consistency

[lupins-hehim-pussy]

I wanna know ur Fontaine msq criticisms 👁️👁️👂I’m all ears

I'm not sure if you wanted me to talk about this secretly or publicly but! Here I go!

The TLDR: Fontaine MSQ aestheticised prison, poverty, child abuse, the justice system/court and didn't properly address any of it.

More:

Focalors/Furina has way too much of a sympathetic angle for a dictator who's lets people drown with her inaction.

Neuvillette feels Bad for sentencing some people to death/prison, but that's it. He's one of the most powerful people in Fontaine. If he felt like there are systemic injustices, I.E sending an abused Child to prison, he should be the first person to DO something about it, not just cry and be sad so the audience can be like aw, that's complex character writing isn't it? No it's not! And guilt doesn't absolve you!!!!!!! (These are stuff we deal with in OTCOJ read my fic now /j)

Meropide has children in it, both Sentenced there (Wriothesley) and BORN THERE (Lanoire), and this is just a quirk of the place. Not only that, Meropide accepts prisoners of all genders and crimes. There are abusers and abuse victims in one place. Do you know how bad that is? How much potential for crimes to happen in a place like that— oh wait, Meropide isn't under Fontaine's jurisdiction. If you are assaulted as an inmate it literally means nothing to the court.

Wriothesley had no qualifications when he took over. Depending on how long he lived on the streets, how old he was when he killed his parents, how old he was when he was first taken in by the orphanage, etc, the man might never have more than 4–5 years of formal education. Sigewinne probably had to teach him how to write reports. And do Meropide's spreadsheets. Edit because I forgot to elaborate on this one: This isn't a point brought up anywhere, which is bad, because when poverty and incarceration robs you of a proper education (and the rights to vote in many places too, too, by the way), it reduces your prospects for jobs, reduces many people's ability to get a home etc etc. Wriothesley was just, narratively, Given his position.

Meropide is an industrialized prison, and they portray this as a good thing. Prisoners are paid in coupons for their labour, and this is also portrayed as a good thing.

The One-Meal-A-Day reform was something Paimon gushed about being so great of a perk, that people might want to go to jail for food (could be interesting and reflective of systemic poverty if MHY had brains, but they don't, so I was just Pissed because essentially all Paimon wanted to say was "Prison isn't so bad, but still don't go to prison guys! Prison labour is really hard!"). By the way, in most real-world prisons they are obligated to feed you three meals a day. Because that's how much food a human needs. MHY went with one meal just so they can say "if you want to eat more, you have to work." And then the welfare meal is a goddamn gacha. So imagine you're a starving child who's too weak to work in the fucking robot assembly line, and you wander up for your first meal in 24 hours, only to luck in with a shit one. I'd kill myself.

They wrote Wriothesley, who's a victim of the system, into a guy who's say shit like "I'm the Duke I can do whatever I want" for a cool moment where he choke-slams an inmate (I know he was a bad guy. But also, in copaganda when cops are violent/disregarding protocols, they are always only portrayed to do that against bad guys, so what does our critical thinking tells us about this one?) They wrote Wriothesley, who was an inmate of a prison so bad, so notorious that it is the literal boogeyman of Fontaine, that has a legal (???) fighting pit, with an administrator who abuses his position to be unreasonable, to willingly stay in the place and become an Administrator who would choke-slam an inmate while saying a cool line about how he has the power to do whatever he wants. They wrote him, the guy who had to be fed on the streets by melusines, to think one-meal-a-day was a good enough reform (while he spends god-knows how much on his boat). This wasn't a victim-turns-into-abuser narrative either, they want all this to be seen as positive character growth.

And then, the final kicker is, they gloss over his entire abuse. You can only read about these shit in his profile, which most people don't because they don't Have Him or doesn't care to unlock it/read it online, and they jammed his entire backstory into a flaccid info-dump at the end of his character story quest. This man isn't Allowed to feel abused and neglected and show any reaction to it within the narrative of Fontaine itself, because if they actually Gave Weight to what happened to him, they'd have to confront THE FUCKING JUSTICE SYSTEM they had NO PLANS on criticising. I don't think they ever explicitly said the fucking Crime-Theatre nonsense was Bad either.

I could go on, but this is already so long. But yeah, I hope this gave you an idea.

[twentyonefirstmates]

Just looked at the digital remains again and oh my god why are we not talking more about the original lyrics to backslide

If I were to backslide, tell everyone we know

Thanks for the last time they came out

...

Why did I not thank you more, saving me those other times

(Don't you dare jump in)

...

I'd rather you hurt me, than do nothing at all

I'd rather you let me down, than just gas me up

I'd rather you cuse me, than do nothing at all

...

You won't make a sound, pick someone else I won't be around

Trapped inside your smile, don't put me on trial

Don't you see you take, everything from me

[opikiquu]

aventurine pl. Plea s e . PLLEEEEEEASE

[riiviir]

fanart is so hard to draw. stupid characters having stupid details that are out of my stupid comfort zone AAAAAGH