#I LOVE YEARNING WHAT CAN I SAY

[ava-core]

I HAVE FOOD TO BRING!

let’s talk about Craig Boone, and my Courier Six: literal sixth child of a sixth child, ex-Empire of Shi golden child, grizzled, haunted-at-23 May Bells (not her real name, of course.)

(i want money to commission them together PLEASE..also you like angst? you like new beginnings? a couple who don’t realize they love each other? YOU LIKE WONG KAR WAI’S IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE?! you’re in the right place!)

firstly, May Bell’s already got a fleshed-out backstory—but I want to make another post for that, so that’ll have to wait!

all you need to know is that May is difficult. it’s what a difficult life does to you, after all; in broad strokes:

she was born in the Empire of Shi, with parents both influential in the spheres of its government and upper-class society.

her father wanted her to be the heir of his scientific legacy when he realized his two sons were incompetent (not even bad people—he just had extremely high and stifling standards: calm, intelligent, obedient. May only hit the Intelligent mark with that 9 INT stat and was naturally a genius, her tag skills being medicine, melee, and science.)

when she didn’t meet the mold of her father’s expectations, it coincided with the fact that her eldest sister got pregnant by a poor merchant’s son.

her father went berserk, killed everyone in the house except for May and her oldest brother because they were out. this incident happened when she was 17.

May and her brother were tried (mother deemed insane to stand trial) and her brother ran away. May was found guilty because of public clamor, but she managed to escape out Shi and never looked back, working as a mercenary in the California area—using Shady Sands as a base of operations for a few years—before eventually getting that damn courier job.

yes, these are broad strokes. who wouldn’t be haunted?

now, take all of that baggage and give it to a half of an extremely combat-capable duo, the other half of which is convinced he’s only destined for bad things because of all the misfortune that’s happened in his life. both have seen the horrors of death and the loss of life, as well as having a hand—direct or not—in the loss of their loved ones and family, having no power to stop it from happening.

what happens when they realize they realize they’re falling for each other?

it makes for a tragedy in origin, of course.

i originally wrote May independently, as opposed to my usual process of making a character in consideration of someone i want them to end up with, and encountering Boone in Novac as May just made it all click.

they would work so well together: Boone filling in the gaps of May’s small frame and 5 STR stat (she’d like for it to be 8, but alas) and May serving as his new partner as two snipers.

that’s the thing, too: May, for all her inability to be sociable (always had a grumpy expression on her face, quick to dismissive sarcasm and is generally unlikeable upon first impression because she masks her loneliness with being an asshat), finds it easy to care for Boone. She levels up her Survival skill to cook him food. She uses that high Medicine to patch him up after he runs into a pack of Cazadores guns blazing. She always gives him extra smokes, ammo, and the occasional bottle of Nuka-Cola.

in his own way, Boone cares for her, too. she always has a First Recon sniper watching her back behind her. He always takes care of enemies before she can even see them. He takes longer watches when they rest so she can sleep (after a lot of protest). Hell, by Honest Hearts, he watches her sleep just to see her breathing and alive.

And the fact she helps him process Bitter Springs, supportive but not overbearing? The fact that she knows his secrets, and cares for him anyway? it hits him where it matters.

this journey May’s embarking on and the dynamic they’re building reminded me of something as i was looking for inspiration for her story (Asian media): Wong Kar Wai’s In the Mood For Love.

if you’ll remember, Mrs. Chan and Mr. Chow only fall in love because they knew their spouses were cheating on them with one another. it all clicked so much, i’m telling you: what started as an agreement to find who sold Carla eventually led to the both Boone and May trudging against the harsh winds of the Mojave, realizing they had one person they cared about more than themselves—and to the both of them, it was nothing if not dangerous, given how self-depreciating and burdened they are with their past.

but who’s to say they won’t heal?

it’s the possibilities of their relationship that keeps me going, honestly: they’re so perfectly made for one another, and deeply care for one another, but they can’t see that, and it infuriates the people around them: Veronica, Arcade and Raul especially (who becomes May’s close friends) who sees this tension so palpable it wouldn’t have made a difference if Boone bent May over on a roulette table in the Tops and went to town with her knowing she’d let him anyway. that’s how well their chemistry works.

i’ll keep on exploring this, but god, the way the stars align for them even in my writing!!! i will be back for this it’s a PROMISE

[crescentfool]

orpheus and thanatos 💚

[hauntingofhouses]

"why would you ship mizu and taigen together they're sooooo toxic ugh taigen is AWFUL and mizu should be with ME instead!!!"

of course they're toxic they're both deranged and terrible and that's why they're perfect for each other.

cuz like omg you think mizu would treat you well? mizu would abandon you. look at how she left ringo multiple times. ringo who treats her so well and is nothing but patient and caring and loyal. if you are insecure she will laugh at you because she has no social tact. look at how mikio said "it's a stupid dream" talking about his ambitions of regaining his honour and mizu straight up chuckles and tells him he's right because it IS a stupid dream. and at this point their relationship was cordial and she was even warming up to him!

like. arguably, taigen would be a better romantic partner (per the ideals of his time and culture of course), or at least he would be on paper. cuz i mean as a husband, as he is now, i think he'd be awful. but i'm talking about if you and him were dating or courting or just seeing each other romantically, he would be good to you. like we saw how he behaved with akemi and he was nothing but sweet and gentle. the very reason akemi wanted to marry him so bad was because she KNOWS without a doubt that he respects women and would treat her well. "oh but he cheated on her with the prostitutes while celebrating his engagement!" yeah but per the norms of the time and place, it was not considered cheating and akemi (as well as any wife or romantic partner of that period) would not have minded or even cared.

and yes taigen IS an asshole and he IS obnoxious but come on. so is mizu, if she is allowed to act like herself around you. mizu will tease you and mock you and challenge you and even poke at your insecurities (see:her goading mikio on even though he clearly did not view her teasing as light-hearted banter and took it all very personally). she would tell you to your face if she thinks you're being annoying (see:mizu rolling her eyes and telling akemi to straight up just "shut up" when she'd believed mizu had killed taigen).

mizu is not merely a hot and talented badass with a sword and the insane hyperfocus on her desire for revenge which literally drives her to withstand like, extreme amounts of damage and survive it. mizu is also flawed and the show does a good job at showcasing this, and showing us that she's not merely a victim but also a multilayered person. we see throughout that mizu is blunt and sarcastic and prideful.

oh what's that? oh right, very similar to taigen, who is also hot and talented with a sword and with insane hyperfocus on his desire to duel mizu and regain his honour. taigen who is also flawed (though, arguably, more so) as he is blunt and sarcastic and prideful.

the only thing that sets mizu and taigen apart is the fact that taigen is a man and is not mixed race, which thus affects their positions in society and how people perceive them. these are external factors. taigen being a boy who is not blue-eyed allowed him to easily mingle with the other kids in the village, all of whom were similarly fed the same prejudiced values which led them to gang up against mizu and bully her.

but take all that away. strip them down to the bare essentials. suddenly it's like they are the same person copy and pasted.

and that's what makes them even more interesting. yes absolutely they would be toxic. whatever souls are made of, mizu's and taigen's are the same (derogatory). and we literally see them fight all the time!!!! but the thing is they are both deranged when it comes to this.

do you get me. they both literally get turned on by sparring. mizu's whole spar with mikio was her way of flirting. just look at how she smirked at him and said "unsheathe it" like it's clear that this is an innuendo of not just unsheathing his weapon but also what's in his pants. then during the chopsticks fight with taigen in the snow, despite mizu literally being injured and taigen trying to attack her, mizu gets attracted to him. meanwhile taigen got a boner after wrestling with her in the forge.

taigen goes around saying he wants to kill mizu to regain his honour but he still literally risks life and limb for her constantly. mizu gives ringo stomach ulcers by going around flinging herself into near-death situations 24/7. she ups and leaves her beloved swordfather with barely a goodbye twice to pursue her batshit far-fetched quest for revenge (against people she doesn't even KNOW btw because she literally starts off with practically No Leads and not even knowing the NAMES of the white men who are her maybe-fathers).

these bitches are crazy and you know what good for them. that shit needs to be contained and quarantined though and that's why in that sense they would be good together.

i want to put them both in a jar and shake it very hard and see what happens. personally i think they will argue and insult each other while working perfectly in sync with each other to break out of the jar and then proceed to kill me and make out sloppy style over my dead body while they're both covered in blood.

like that's it that's the dynamic. send post.

[mblue-art]

out w these tall clowns 🌲🌸

[happyk44]

Something something Percy wishing he loved Nico in the same way because he can't stand the idea of hurting him, even though Nico has never needed Percy to love him in the same way or even to love him at all.

[unluckedtj]

the smudge on an otherwise perfect painting, and tears of moss

tags for more context

[nyatbinary-81]

@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.

[grahamcarmen]

And my thing STILL is that as carmen gets a stronger sense of her past and better connections with her friends and allies the need/desire for Gray in her life doesn't decrease and dissapate, it INCREASES and is refined. All while constantly being more sincerely layered in romantic tones as the show goes on.

[lifemod17]

I love it here, I get to see you beautiful souls happily and unapologetically talk about the things that you feel intensely about

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Madk's mangaka is one of the few people who truly understands the old adage

Love and hate are two sides of the same coin

[yearningaces]

I feel this needs to be said so

Ofius and Declan, the Giant and the Hallewell both have heavy undertones of worshipful types of love, so let me explain their differences in the most metaphorical way, take your own meanings

Ofius is the lost one who was brought into the light. A keeper of his humans temple. He found this place when he had nothing. The light from inside beckoned him into a fulfilling life there. He keeps the temple clean, repaired, and cared for. He is the gentle worshiper

Declan is the bloodied sinner who carved an altar from stone with claws and fangs. His and the blood of others stains his hands and stone. He would carve out his organs as offerings but will never allow another close enough to see this place. He is the selfish reverence

[herbirdglitter]

see I don't think we talk about this moment enough

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[swordmaid]

trying to sleep but this concept has taken a hold of me … thinking about jb first kiss .. but brienne initiating ! jb doing something and their close to each other. in my head jaime is wrapping her arm with bandage like his gold hand is elevating her arm, his left hand is wrapping gauze while she’s holding the roll with her unoccupied hand so he doesn’t drop it (teamwork!!!) but that seems so complicated but I like the idea of them working together on stuff like that ?? and another scenario I’m thinking of is something similar but instead of bandages jaime is sewing something up his left hand is holding the needle and thread while she’s just holding the thing he’s working on bc between the two of them I like to think jaime would be better at sewing anyway unimportant kind of but I was thinking of jb first kiss where brienne initiates … except she tries to but backs out but like comic panel where their heads are close together and he’s busy with something and she’s just looking at him .. at his lips .. he looks up catches her staring and she looks away flustered wanting to leave bc now she’s embarrassed but she can’t and he’s like ? Ok 😳

[cyberpunkboytoy]

My DID-having ass is experiencing so much world-envy for the fictional country of Vaugarde I'm going to throw up

[oooohno]

(sorry i saw you post about crocheting and couldn't help myself ily sorry if this is ass forgive me)

Sitting thigh to thigh on the couch next to Sugishita, you tilt your head curiously, putting aside your current project to appraise his. What was once an old t-shirt is about to become something new, the sleeves and collar cut off of it. 

You love this about him - practical in nature, a good man with a heart as big as he is. The love inside of you ebbs and flows like a river, keeping you glued to his every movement. You technically started crafting before he did this evening, plopping down with your crochet bag a few minutes before he sat down next to you with crafts of his own in mind. The two of you have worked in peaceful silence but you find yourself drawn to him, unable to look away.

You watch as he precisely ties each of the flaps into a knot, each end pulled tightly to ensure everything will remain secure once he flips the fabric inside out. The tip of his tongue peeks out from between his lips, a loose strand of dark hair hanging down his shoulder despite your best attempts to tie it all off of his face before sitting down to begin working.

Catching yourself exhaling dreamily, you glance away to hide your smile, focusing on the rows of stitches sitting in your lap. Keeping from sneaking glances proves difficult the longer you test yourself though and your eyes gradually drift back to him, trimming the excess off of each of the knots that have built the support at the bottom of the work in progress bag.

“It looks good so far, Kyo.” 

He nods, eyes focused on his task. You decide to do the same, finishing the last of the stitches in the row that will officially complete your current project, tying them off just as you feel his eyes on your hands.

“It’s for you.” 

You extend the headband in his direction and he takes it with a sheepish half smile, thumb and forefinger rubbing the soft yarn he knows you selected with him in mind. The practicalities of your nature make him feel all the more supported and loved, safe and secure in a place where he can bloom into the man he truly is beneath the tall dark shadow he carries.

“It’s funny you say that because this…” Hee reaches to his side and picks up the bag, bunching it in his hand. “Is for you.”

He smooths out the cotton and flips it inside out, showing you the design on the front of the bag. An ages old shirt designed for a community wide clean up, little pink stains splattered just above the screen printed graphic. You remember the day you first wore this like yesterday, plucking it from his closet during one of your first sleepovers and 

“Is that the shirt from…?” You ask and Sugishita nods, chuckling. “Yeah, from that first time eating one of Umemiya’s ridiculous watermelons.” 

You lean forward, collecting the tote bag. Taking it between your hands with a grin, you look over the painstakingly perfect cuts and effort put into making it something you’ll continue to enjoy forever, something he created after you fussed at him for making his own life unnecessarily hard. 

“Remember how he had to haul it in on his shoulder?” 

Kyotaro asks you with a chuckle, sliding the headband you made for him onto his head. It’s a better fit than you expected. The strand that was dangling over his shoulder is tucked back and away, now hanging down his back. Setting the bag aside, you crawl across the sofa on your knees and position yourself on his lap with your calves tucked beneath your knees on either side of his legs.

“I remember what a mess we made eating it.” Tucking a few errant strands of hair beneath the headband, you beam up at him while he nods in agreement. “Stained this shirt so bad you could never wear it again.” His dark eyes dart from the bag back to your pretty face, his hands naturally falling to your hips to hold you in place on his thighs. “Maybe this could be the next best thing.”

Giggling, you lean forward and kiss him, grateful for those big hands to steady you. Another kiss, and another, and just a few more and you have to break away to catch your breath.

“The headband works,” he mutters, leaning in to kiss you again. “Keeps it out of my face.”

There’s a twinkle in his eye that makes your thighs flex on either side of him, itching for comfort and relief, all too aware of what that look means. A few beats pass and you find yourself being gently placed on your back on the couch, thighs spread and pajama shorts pulled halfway down.

“Let’s see who is the messier eater, Nana.” He taunts, hair pulled off of his face and giving you a view at the slope of his nose and the smirk on his face. “Can’t ruin this the same way you ruined that,” he looks upward toward the headband and downward to the bag which draws a giggle from you that is quickly swallowed by a salacious moan when his face dips between your thighs.

Hdnddndjbdudbeudue ueueueueueue KENDALL!!!! What if I sob and cry and whine and wail and yowl and DIE?!?! You can’t just drop this in my inbox, my fragile little heart can’t take all this 😭

I LOVE YOU!!!!!