#I KNOW THIS ISNT TRC
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#I KNOW THIS ISNT TRC#i’m sorry#actually whatever#y’all will be ok#the good place#dps#dead poets society#the west wing#ted lasso#the bear#eleanor shellstrop#chidi anagonye#jed bartlet#leo mcgarry#josh lyman#neil perry#todd anderson#carmy berzatto#roy kent#jamie tartt#rebecca welton#mine
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i've started the raven king and adam's little oh moment when he makes ronan smile at him like he smiles at his angelic little dream-brother or his dream-mother - unguarded and vulnerable and loose and sweet - by getting cabeswater to play his terrible awful internet song
#i am YELLINGG#trc#the raven cycle#the raven king#trc reading#!!!#he keeps saying 'this isnt a game' and like girl baby girl the babiest of girls youre the only one thinking that honey baby#kiss that boy already#i know this isnt the adam and ronan book but i really need more of whatever the hell's happening here#also the fact that gansey's known he's going to die this whole time is!! a lot!!
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sometimes i think about when jordan called declan dauntless in the dreamer trilogy and then i think about both aurora and mor calling declan dauntless and i need to lie face down on the floor for five hours until i feel normal again
#oh declan the boy without fear the boy who would risk everything the boy who is not just dauntless but reckless#declan who shoulders all of nialls legacy by himself because he can't let it endanger his brothers#his brothers who dont even know of the legacy at all and declan#dauntless declan who fears nothing he cant let them find out because if they do his efforts of shielding them from it will have been in vain#and then they do find out and what does it do it gets them killed and isnt that the exact thing declan gave up everything to prevent#so declan who fears nothing and has nothing left to protect because his brothers are gone#his brothers are gone and so he truly does not fear anything anymore because what does he have to be afraid of when everything that matters#has been taken already#dauntless declan reckless boy walking into a building full of people intent on getting him as well but his mother was right he is daring and#brave and dauntless and so he goes in and he does what he knows best he has no fear#declan lynch#trc#td3#i think about him such a normal amount#jordeclan#jordan hennessy
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Mourning the future when I won't be the same age as the Gangsey
#i dont know why. im the same age as them right now i should be enjoying my time as a teen instead of dwelling on the future#but like... what if it just isnt the same or doesn't hit as hard ☹️#actually im over it now. ill focus on now because i love being a teen obsessed eith silly books and shows#trc#i speak#silly thoughts#live in the present i remind myself constantly
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i gotta say i think part of why i fell so deep into the raven cycle was the fact that will patton is by far the best audiobook narrator ive listened to. like not only is this guy's inflection and accent PERFECT for this exact story and setting, but theres a distinct and fitting character voice for EVERYONE, and he even has slightly different ways to read the fucking NARRATION based on who the chapter's pov is. it genuinely adds soooo much to the story. ive been getting picky about audiobook narrators lately but will patton is a fucking VISIONARY i swear to god
#howling#trc#listenerposting#like i mentioned before that i fucking HATE it when the people reading the audiobook drastically change their narration style across books#see will patton has managed to keep it up for TWO SERIES#with any voice changes being EXTREMELY intentional#its also been really cool going into a scene where the character isnt immediately revealed#but i just KNOW who the character is already because will patton is just that good at voice acting
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My one gripe with Raven Boys is that as far as I remember Whelk never saw Noah. I was SO ready for that final confrontation and for the sight of Noah to stump him or drive him a little more crazy
#there's a LOT that happens in that scene but god did i want to know what would happen when they saw one another#q reads trc#i say 'as far as i remember' bc there's a chance i was just zoned out and missed it while listening if it does happen dhdDJS#i think noah just isnt there at all during the confrontation though?? he was totally gone by then#STILL..
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"Do you have people who won't let you {W O R R Y}?" {H O L I C} ~ Vol. 12 (Ch. 140) {Compiled by Me} {DO NOT Re-post}
BONUS:
"Your hearts are similar"
"DON'T {D I S A P P E A R}"
#koushirouizumi clamp#koushirouizumi trc#koushirouizumi holic#koushirouizumi watanuki#koushirouizumi c sakura#c: watanuki#c: c sakura#c sakura and watanuki#duo: both me and the people who love you are happy just because youre there#(but 'Watanuki isnt meant to be cared for even just as friends by Sakura in any other timeline how can you pOSSIBLY think that!!1!1!')#('Watanukis just a p ARADOX born by m ISTAKETM dont you kNOW THA- YEAH IM PRETTY SURE ENTIRE H O L I C FAN BASE KNOWS---)#(Whooo More Parallels I Immediately Caught While Going Back)#(The top cap I had referenced but I forgot C Sakura literally asks Watanuki the exact same thing)#(and then IMMEDIATELY comparing Watanuki to Syao deliberately in the SAME CHAPTERS)#(I remembered the stated comparisons by C Sakura existed but not the above line in relation off the top of mind!!)#(Anyway if you want to fight the comparisons of Watanuki and Syao take it up with C.L.A.M.P doing it THEMSELVES)#(But even this one honestly means a lot to me because C Sakura and Watanuki caring for each other platonically)#({outside A.U.s} is something I DESPERATELY wanted to see more of for 10+ Y E A R S and iM STILL WAITING FOR MORE)#(Anyway also no rb for now but Im going to MAYBE try to have better compilation stuff ready for C.L.A.M.P Day IF)#(PEOPLE CAN STOP BEING AS {YEAH} ABT THIS WITH THEM *AT LEAST* ON THE DAY ITSELF---}#(*by the way this part happens AFTER WATANUKI IS *ab USED* AND HAS FACE ***SPLASHED WITH A HOT W A T E R CANISTER*)#(BY A CANONICALLY *A BUSIVE!!!!* 'm OTHERTM' *AND THEN C SAKURA APPEARS AND SAYS THIS* LOOK IM JUST SAYING)#(Like C Sakura DELIBERATELY comes forward to canon ask Watanuki 'are you hurt???' 'Does it hurt?? DONT Endure It')#(e DIT: I kEPT r EADING & I NEARLY FLIPPED AND P U N C H E D SCREEN BC C.L.A.M.P WHY! THEY *KEEP SAYING* WHAT DID IT ALL M E A N C.L.A.M.P)#(LIKE EVERY SINGLE CHARA + t SUBASA!!! IS *S C R E A M I N G* AT WATA TO *NOT DIS A P P E A R* & EVERYONE IN THE FAN BASE IS LIKE)#('HAHA WELL WATANUKI WOULDNT BE RELEVANT TO THEM AT ALL IN *THAT* {INSERT TIMELINE!!1!1!}')#trc spoilers
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10 months............. 10 months......
#icl i dont know if i can do it#i dont even know what i want anymore like.#just know i need to be somewhere that isnt here#im so adam parrish coded its crazy also sidenote i still havent finished my trc reread it has been well over a year#also thinking abt the finances of going to uni making me panic#think i will just have to sell my soul and get a finance job after uni instead of studying more maths#like my kids can pursue their passions but i just cant afford to haha (in pain)
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Tbh not sure why but following this book is kind of hard so far,, but its kind of cool i like adam and blue the most :)
#the raven boys#discovering a new species of boy i like#like quiet ish and polite but has his own thing going on#ill try 2 categorize the boy character umbrella#anyway uh knowing adam and ronan kiss l8r on… dont know how to deal w this information#this isnt to do w adam being my fave btw it just makes it better bc it reminds me of daniel and mason 😭#also the 2 boys in my alien invasion story#trc spoilers#edit yeah i decided 2 tag spoilers 4 this one bc its popular lols
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[gestures vaguely] this man is experiencing the horrors of being 15
post trk deleted scene where gansey finally thinks to ask Henry how old he is and henrys like oh. I just turned 15 last December! and ganseys like sorry wh. were you FOURTEEN during the glendower thing. and henrys like err haha. I had an early growth spurt? um. and ganseys like
#wake up girls hal is losing their mind over trk againn#the bit where henry grew up figuring out how best to keep his mothers secrets under duress. im going to kill myself#trc#henryposting#this is mostly a joke i know hes the same age as the rest but isnt it sadder if-
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so i'm rereading trc with my friend and we're currently on bllb and i just read chapter 30 and in it blue's asking malory what gansey used to be like before he moved to henrietta and the gansey that malory describes to blue is so different from the gansey she currently knows and i just cant stop thinking about it.
first off, malory describes gansey as "small" as in not just his height but as in gansey was young and it makes sense because at the time gansey was 15 but it just kind of does something to my heart when i think about young, small gansey trying to figure out why he's still alive.
malory then goes on to say, "He was still trying to prove that he hadn't just hallucinated. He was still quite obsessed with the event [his death] itself." gansey first died when he was 10 and to be obsessing over your death for FIVE years trying to convince others but mostly yourself that you didn't make it up that you actually died and not some part of a childs imagination it must've fucked with him so bad???
then malory tells blue exactly how obsessed gansey was with his death and was to the extent that he was always drawing bees and hornets and "Got screaming nightmares over it- he had to get his own place since I couldn't sleep with it [...] Sometimes these fits would happen in the day, too. We'd just be toddling through some riding path in Leicestershire and next thing I knew he'd be on the ground clawing his face like a mental patient." the gansey that blue currently knows doesnt act like that but this was only two years prior its fucking INSANE and it's here blue starts to think about the facade gansey had learned to throw up since he was a kid.
AND IT GETS WORSE SOMEHOW?? earlier in bllb in chapter 3, gansey talks about how he felt like running and how it had been a long time since he had felt that way. at the time it didn't make sense like wdym by that gansey but then back in chapter 30 malory tells blue how gansey just disappeared one day. left most of his bags and left without a word to anyone not even his family who then called malory to ask for gasneys whereabouts. "He picked himself up and moved on so easily, so quickly. He had done it so many times before England, Jane, and it was old hat to him."
it makes blue rethink every conversation she had with gansey previously, similarly to when adam heard gansey's voice of fear in the cave in chapter one where gansey had the panic attack because its around this book where the gangsey start to figure, as blue puts it, "It was more like the Gansey she'd seen was a partial truth."
it's so very easy to pass off ganseys insecurities and his feelings about how he should comfort other people but they shouldn't do the same for him because he's had it the easiest (his words not mine) because he himself skips over it so fast. like he'll mention something and then act like he's never thought or said it, like its something normal which really isnt and then it slowly makes sense that gansey throughout the series, starts to lose that mask (there's multiple masks but thats a conversation for another time) and the readers and the gangsey get to see what the real gansey is like instead of the bulletproof, untouchable gansey they're used to seeing.
the idea of gansey running is insane in a good way because its nothing like the gansey we know, plus paired with the fact about how young gansey has me clawing at the walls because he's just this kid desperate to prove he wasn't hallucinating, trying to find some purpose to his life before he finds it in henrietta. a kid who was still terrified of his death who relived it, screaming every night who still had panic attacks anywhere and everywhere and would end up clawing at himself because there's hornets everywhere. a kid who doesn't stay in one place too long who learns to put on an easy smile to convince everyone okay and gets so good at it that it works and people think that hes normal and okay when he's anything but.
idk pre canon gansey is something that i need to inject into my bloodstream and analyse in a lab.
#thinking about the different masks gansey has is so crazy like gansey on fire the gansey his family sees the gansey aglionby sees#SORRY LONG POST#FUCKKKK GO TO THERAPY GANSEY#chapter 30 bllb has changed my life in insane ways#i dont think i can ever be the same#richard gansey#trc#the raven cycle#bllb#adam parrish#blue sargent#idk malorys last name sorry
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as someone whos played ffxiv for almost 8 years now i gotta say its SO exciting to see youve started playing. i really enjoy seeing you talking about trc and kurofai (unfortunately i know absolutely nothing about xmen so it goes right over my head) and so im excited to see any thoughts you have about the ffxiv story and characters!
HEEHEEHEE. most of my ffxivposting has been in a thread on my twt priv, but after the recent botslaughter im gonna try and move it over here.
im at the beginning of stormblood. here are my thoughts:
as i said previously, in ARR i was very meh on alphinaud. i have a grudge against his ARR va (due to critical role), i was like "WHY are we starting a PARAMILITARY ORG", and i was kind of like hey. im playing a 6ft tall elf lady with a huge axe. you fancy little twerp dont boss me around. the end of ARR was soooo crazy and good though, really kicked the plot into gear for me, and those cutscenes were like WHOA!! OMG THE GUY FROM THE BEGINNING CUTSCENE... and in heavensward he became my little boy. because he basically reversed all the things i didnt really like about him. new VA. constant regret and shame about the crystal braves. and everyone was like awww hahaha youre a nice little boy. and he is. he is a boy. and he's polite. and he got a new outfit that covered his midriff, which i appreciated.
minfillia... im sorry. her VA was so insanely bad. and i never really DID anything with her that made me feel attached to her. she felt very bland and generic. i was like okay cool 👍 see ya. i also think her outfit was so blaaaahhhh like it gave me girl next door final fantasy character, NOT leader of an NGO, which would have been more appealing to me.
y'shtola: one of my mutuals is constantly posting her very cute WoL/yshtola fanart and i thought i would like a bit more than i presently do... i like her! i just feel like she hasnt gotten to do very much that isnt going "hmm.. aether." i think it's delightful that she shares a VA with sera from dragon age. bitches with bangs 4 lesbians
urianger: when i first saw urianger i was aghast. i was like. PEOPLE ARE HORNY FOR THAT THING? but now that ive seen more of his shb/edw outfit im like aha i see. you have gender. you're either like "do not perceiveth me" or "dripping with gold in a lightweight backless gown". i really enjoyed his undercover outfit with the WoD. i don't think he did anything wrong. he was like "yeah i did lie to everyone and help manipulate events to send minfilia to a different data center. i feel absolutely awful about it, i wish my trolley problem principles had not made me deceiveth thou all, i am a horrible villain, pray do not feel compelled to forgive me" and i was like nah youre good 👍 like she isnt DEAD. plus he always tried to help me a little bit when he could. i like his funny voice. i like how in ARR he was voiced by fenris dragonage. take those goggles and hood off again mx tism
tataru: if lalafells didn't look like that. i would be shipping my WoL with her. i think she is so cute and fun and a delight. she is a joy. my girl JUGGLES!!!!! she makes OUTFITS!!!!!!!!! she has A KETTLE WITH A FANCY NAME!!!!!!!!!! and she works so hard. im so glad she got to come with us to ishgard. she is my joy. my light...
thancred: i have heard tell that he really leaves behind his initial lothario characterization, and i really have not seen it in forever, which made ARR thancred perfectly fine to me. i was prepared for him to be much more egregious. i wish i knew him a bit better before he got possessed. i was like oh okay! yeah i guess i havent seen him in a while. which made me sad because i love possession storylines i think they are so juicy. his ponytail and rattee (like a ratstache but a goatee) are funny to me. thancred nakey images were funny. there was a moment towards the end of hvw when he came back and i talked to him in ishgard between convos with nobles and he said stuff that was very commiserating and i was like okay i have decided you and my WoL are complaining friends. sipping the haterade together. i think he's like 5'7". like with alphinaud, the character development in this game has really surprised me with how effective it feels. i look forward to seeing him grimly yet compassionately fail forward even more. and to be a single dad. aforementioned mutual (who i know through klapollo) is into thancred/urianger so im also looking forward to confining them into the yaoi compartment
cid: HE IS MY FRIEND :) i love how he's a short king. i like how he was simply like "fascism and imperialism are bad. i am going to go fight against it by building big airships :)" no qualms no struggle just knew what was right and went and did it. he's like a gay older coworker who you go out for drinks with sometimes and invites you to barbeques. i enjoy him and nero's turbodivorce saga.
alisaie: i completely forgot to do all the bahamut raids in ARR so when she showed up post-hvw i was like oh it's time for the girltwin! and she was like "oh we've worked together already :)" and i was like oh god. we only had one conversation. oops. so far i think she's a delight. i have heard that she's a bit of a lesbo. good for her. love that she gets a sword and she gets to be the mean one of the two twins. i cant wait for her little red jacket. looking forward to more >:)
krile: have not seen much of her so far but i LOVE how she has a cloak with cat ears, so cute. LOVE how she teases alphinaud. im like yes... shared character history... quite fun...
ysayle: I LOVE YOU DRAGON ELSAGARD I LOVE YOUUUUUU BIIIIIIIIITCH... I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. i love her style. i love her political convictions. i love her gap moe with the moogles. i think my WoL had a crush on her. i think it's messed up that during the scene where the WoL and alphinaud are prying the eyes off of estinien, she touches alphinaud's hand. she should be touching MY HAND!!!!!!!!!!!! all love to haurchefaunt but I BONDED WITH HER.
estinien: i know many people like estinien. every time he spoke a word at ysayle i felt like a barking like her guard dog. DONT YOU SPEAK TO MY GIRL IN THAT TONE YOU BROODYBOY SMELLMAN. SHUT UP. i assume he softens up now that he is retired from All That. i thought his relationship with alphinaud was very sweet - i liked when he taught alphinaud how to gather firewood. i think my WoL only tolerates estinien because alphinaud is so attached.
haurchefant: i was still barely reading dialogue in ARR when he was introduced. so he showed up and was like OMG HI AGAIN BESTIE!!!!!! and i was like oh! that man! one of my friends is gaymarried to him so he's like my gay brother-in-law. i am a lesbian and my WoL is also a lesbian so we were hagging/tyking (dyke tyke) out with each other. the facial animation on the WoL when he croaks was astoundingly good. i call him horsey
aymeric: well he certainly is competent, principled, and nice. one of the more handsome elezen men in the game. i know he's implied playersexual so i really need him to stop inviting me to dinner because i have had conversations with dude friends like that before and it is so painfully awkward. i think it is great that he committed fratricide AND popecide. wahoo!
lyse: i really enjoyed yda. yknow. i thought she was such a fun cockney karate bimbo. i didn't know she was lyse. i've heard about lyse. and how she is conspicuously the only blonde blue-eyed ala mhigan. and how she is a source of some of the collar-tugging politics in stormblood. sigh. so. i am now burdened with her.
raubahn: I LOVE RAUBAHNNNNNNNNNN I LOVE HIMMMM i love how he has a small adult son. i love how he is trying so hard. i love how he is so righteous and hardworking. the misery lolorito and ilberd put him through during hvw made me so mad on his behalf. when lolorito was like "oh, how we laughed at how upset you were!" i was like RAUBAHN. HE IS THE PERFECT HEIGHT FOR YOU TO JUST PUNT ACROSS THE TOWN SQUARE. PUNT HIM RAUBAHN. YOU DESERVE IT. and i love a one-armed king. kurogane swag
lucia: i think she is cool and fun. hahaha dont potentially be in love with aymeric queen youre so hot and cool and butch
matoya: SHE'S SO COOL. I LOVE HER DESIGN. HER VOICE ACTING. AND HER RUDENESS. AND OF COURSE THE FROGS
moenbryda: i thought she was so fun and cool. i was like cool!! new character!! big funny woman i love it!! and then near bluefog she dished about her childhood a little and i was like... is that a deathflag. and it was :(
okay thats all the npcs i can think to have anything to say about.
i was pleasantly surprised by the way that lalafells are not the lolibait/shotabait i had grimly prepared for them to be. they are just short funny guys for the most part. moving past that, i then got slammed into by the giant brick that says "BEAST TRIBES". i heard that the new writer has made their writing a lot better (apparently the alliance leaders acknowledge that they have been basically been doing genocide on these sentient beings, which is helping me push forward through stuff)! i do their quests really regularly because i like helping them out. i would really love to see someone with more expertise on the subject write about the presentation of indigenous peoples in ffxiv, because i think that there is a lot going on that is vital to critically inspect.
i have to go eat dinner now. but i will try to post more thoughts on here as i have them >:)
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declan referring to adam as "the person ronan cared about most in the world" is a sentiment that's theoretically sweet and might even be true on a good day but i think it's mainly just the BEST use of dramatic irony in any piece of media ever it is SO FUCKING FUNNY SCREAM . declan out here pacing and clawing at the yellow wallpaper or whatever like "why didn't he call you, his loving boyfriend who he loves so much, something must be REALLY WRONG" adam sitting kubrick stare white knuckle grip in the taco bell drive thru or whatever like "yeahhh haha unfoooooortunately he just accused me of killing him to death and then told me to fuck off and die like the evil sack of backstabbing shit i am. i think.... you might wanna............ try gansey,,"
#still havent actually read it beyond dash snippets yet so if this isnt what happened well. it is now#because i like it. adam like declan i dont know how to tell you ronan literally left me for an older man and girl kavinsky#trc#cdth#greywaren#greywaren spoilers#do i have enough tags to safely tuck this in#pynch#mi spoilers
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So I know it doesn't come up again cause Maggie dropped this particular chekov gun but is the Camaro wheel they found in the lake a dream object Ronan accidentally dumped or???
Rereading raven boys cause what else am I gonna do and Gansey says that Adam is good at making things quiet after the lynch brawl at ninos I fear the Gansey Blue Adam throuple theory has legs
#i know it doesnt really make sense cause the lake isnt in cabeswater#so it could theoretically be an adventure to come that maggie didnt write#or it could be off one of the many fucked up dream camaros from ronan#trc#the dream thieves#my bee
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i have officially read. 40 books this year!! last year i read uhh?? i want to say like seven. wahoo!! :-)
#and yes i know. that the point of reading is not how many books you consume!! BUT my New Years resolution was to get back into the hobby of#reading because i missed it and that is what i have done!! and i have read so many good books as a result!!#just finished nobber because which was recommended as a better alternative to lapvona and it was. actually really surprisingly good#i put it off because it’s not all the type of thing id normally read but i ended up finishing it in like. two days#don’t know what im going to read now i think the only physical book i have left is trainspotting. but also…trc reread perhaps….#also want to read shuggie bain. though presently i do not own shuggie bain#anyway!! have never actually fulfilled a New Years resolution before isnt this fun!!#reading tag
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sometimes i remember the small detail of adam owning a transformer toy and i wanna cry a little bit bc it encapsulates so much of who he is as a character. besides the obvious things like his mechanic’s job and the fact that he became friends with gansey bc he fixed his car, but he also spends the entire series working so hard at buiding a better future for himself. his bond with cabeswater too is all abt fixing things and interpreting the signs to find out what exactly it needs. he comes up with solutions and continuously takes the steps he needs to take to push a situation forward. his don’t fight with gansey don’t fight with blue thoughts are there bc to him that’s what he needs to do to make his friendships work, and he drives hours while listening to his notes to spend a few hours with ronan for his bday bc he’s working on his relationship, all of the criers!! there’s so many examples i could give but like. what do you MEAN don’t break him adam??? that’s the opposite of what he’s been doing for the entirety of the narrative. adam doesn’t break things, he builds them and he fixes them and he transforms them into something better!!! and yeah okay im just repeating what it means to be the magician but the fact that the transformer is one of the only thing he’s taking with him because he cares for it.... i don’t know man, he’s always been the magician, he’s always been a transformer and im really in my feelings abt it today
#also the reason im team adam doing smth like engineering or smth. i dont know enough abt that shit but yk#adam parrish#trc#this isnt anything that hasnt been said before but im Feeling a lot and am also mea#nt to be studying jzhbf he would not be proud of me
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