#I JUST WAS WATCHING PEOPLES VIDEOS ON THE SUBJECT AND SOMEONE POINTED OUT IN THE COMMENTS OF ONE OF THE VIDEOS

[idkmanwtfishumanityanymore]

Y’ALL WE’RE WRONG. Y’ALL WE ARE DEAD WRONG.

WE ARE SO FUCKING WRONG Y’ALL 33:01 BLOODMOON IS SNIFFLING AND GROWLING AND HOLDING BACK HIS CRYING I CAN FUCKING HEAR IT.

I was right- me and anyone who thought he was just holding it back is right- HE IS LITERALLY FORCING BACK HIS REACTION. ITS FUCKING AUDIBLE.

THIS MAKES THE GODDAMN FEAR OF BLOODY BREAKING DOWN ON THE PODCAST (If Monty drags him there) BECAUSE PUPPET AND MONTY SPAM-REPLAY HARVEST’S DEATH SO MUCH MORE LIKELY TO HAPPEN.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

(They still acted really out of character with the whole not caring if the other was blown up- I’m not disregarding that)

I AM NOT FUCKING OKA-💥

(Tagging two people I talked about the twins’ lack of care for each other (hopefully it’s okay! Sorry if not!)

@madcatdaderpydrawer-blog @lover-of-cuteness

[fantasmadelaciudad]

been thinking a lot about an unauthorised fan treatise (or, more specifically, about parasocial relationships, celebrity worship, invasive fans, etc etc) and bandom culture.

in the sense of trying to figure out what counts as “normal” fan behavior w/o it devolving into a parasocial relationship, or where the line is between having fun & making observations vs tinhatting & rpf (a lot of pete wentz’s songs in Infinity on High are direct quotes from LJ entries that in turn suggest being interested in mikey way vs. pete wentz & mikey way were in love with each other & had a nasty gay love summer fling & pete never got over it (REAL) (NOT CLICKBAIT!!!!!!!!!))

like, is it not weird to post an upskirt picture of gerard way and say “i want to shove my face between her legs”? personally i see those posts and laugh, bc to me those extreme expressions of sexual desire all equate to someone just. being a really big gerard fan. they’re all hyperbole to me. but that’s me interpreting them, and might not actually be the posters intention. maybe they really do want to shove their face in her crotch. i don’t know them!

when does the line between harmless fun and extremely inappropriate invasive behavior begin?

[inkskinned]

how odd, to watch the creative writing exercises of angry men in the comments of instagram. you noticed it first in the comments of conventionally attractive women - but then it started appearing everywhere else, too.

a young man talks about what lunch he's packing his wife. there is a little story under it, with 300 likes, fabricated from nothing. "this is pointless. if you treat her like this, she will take the lunch to her office and fuck her boss and divorce him and take all his money."

you scroll. a young woman talks about what lunch she's packing for her husband. it is always uglier when the subject of the video is a woman, you've noticed. "you sit on camera and you smile and you are cheating with the neighbor and then you're going to lie about being sexually assaulted by your husband and -"

you stop reading. it has 567 likes.

where did this even become a thing? people making up stories in their head, disgusting long-winded assumptions about intention and sexual disgrace. the evil twin of fanfiction.

like - it's just a lie. it's a lie that they are telling, baldfaced and assumptive. the undercurrent is of course misogyny, but the trouble is that they're so fucking certain. that's what makes the hairs on the back of your neck rise. there is this pervasive, inventive desire for them to be right. that they must be right. all women are cheating, lying, gold-digging bitches. no exceptions.

in the reverse, when women say i'd rather meet a bear in the woods than a strange man - men funnel in from the sides. they defend each other with a vibrance and capacity for empathy you wish applied to like, the other half of the population. a man could be saying i absolutely did kill her and these creatures in the comments would rise up with king shit. she made it happen. they love each other to the point of this sick strange self-gaslighting, a fervent and unhinged cognitive distortion. all men are good, wonderful people. all women are terrible, conniving, seditious, annoying.

and when did it become okay to just, like... say that kind of a thing? at one point, you find yourself typing out a witty and snappy retort. why are you spending so much time fantasizing about other people babe. but as you stare at the screen, some part of you pictures this man in public, saying these things to your face. his soapbox, high and mighty. his mirrored sunglasses and his empty life: tired and lonely.

what a sad and horrible loop he's locked in. he is terrible to women, so women don't talk to him, which he uses as an excuse to act more terribly. he blames this "failure" on women, rather than on his behavior. it cannot be that he is the problem (that the solution is to just put his ego down and accept women as equals) - he begins to invent a sculpture to replace the flesh frame of each person he sees.

it isn't just a woman posing on the beach. it is now a slut with a desperate need for each person to crave her body. it isn't just a woman yelping with surprise during something upsetting. it is a hysterical, unhelpful cretin who will probably make things worse instead of better. it isn't a person.

someone's very sweet wedding vows get moderate attention on instagram. in the comments, a man says good fucking luck you'll waste your life providing while behind your back she's absolutely fucking the best man. this will be so cringe in 2 months when she walks out on you.

you think - is that what you need to be true? is that what you need to happen, for the world to make sense to you?

[lizardsfromspace]

There was lots of concern about AI and deepfakes spreading misinformation this election cycle, so let's check in on that!

A lot of right-wing accounts are trying to prove that Kamala Harris' crowds are fake - that all the photos of them are generated with AI. We'll get to that, but let's look at the most...amusing example first.

There's lots of people pointing at an image of a crowd that's obviously been generated with AI, due to extra arms and gibberish writing.

So obviously someone generated this image with AI. Who was it and why? Well, we can actually find the origin pretty easily. It was...

A right-wing satire account. Who put "unexcited Kamala Harris crowd" into a AI image generator to make a "wow, crowds are electric!" joke.

An image their own side generated as satire is now being spread by the right as something Harris/Walz created as proof they're doing the thing they're doing. Incredible. Just a masterclass

Now let's look at the dark stuff.

By and large, AI isn't being used for hoaxes. AI is being used as a excuse: people aren't being tricked by AI images, they're being tricked by accusations real images are AI.

So this hoax went around recently...

This image is old. It spread in 2017, it spread in 2020, and now it's spread in 2024. The Harris/Walz rally wasn't even in the Phoenix Convention Center, or in Phoenix. But it's now a core part of the "no one's attending their rallies!" campaign going on now

This may seem strange if you experience the news by non-conservative media, where you can't escape stories of Kamala Harris filling up massive stadiums & of Trump rallies full of empty seats. All evidence in reality points to Kamala Harris being extremely popular and to Trump's campaign faltering.

But in MAGA land, Kamala Harris' crowds were generated with AI.

Their claims: the crowd isn't in the reflection, and uh, the arms look weird. But also that there "aren't any other images".

But? There are? There was a livestream of that very plane landing (starting at 25)!

They're subjecting what they think is The Only Image of this rally in long Youtube videos and on Twitter and TikTok, and just...don't realize there's full, uncut, commentary-free video of it that was broadcast live. So why don't they realize that?

Well, I did a search for this rally on Fox News' website and guess what? They reported it exactly twice: once a interview with her while leaving that slammed her for "not taking press questions" enough, and a few clips of the Palestinian protestors at it, but not many, bc if you don't follow the far right they're trying to frame Kamala Harris as, like, a radical pro-Palestinian (or, as they say, "pro-Hamas") activist who wants to destroy Israel which, uhhhhhhhh

But another thread I found debunking this, by a former Trump-voting evangelical conservative turned critic of the same, gets at the heart of it

People who said AI and deepfakes would be used to mislead the right were missing how misinformation actually works. Fox News et al don't suppress information by confusing the audience with misinformation; they suppress information by never letting them see it in the first place. They know that they have a captive audience who doesn't watch non-right-wing news (unlike the left, who are constantly aware of what's going on over at Fox).

They can just never mention or show Kamala Harris' rallies, or do so only in close-up, and they can frame Trump to only show shots where a crowd has gathered & make it seem like that's the norm, and their audience just has no chance to find out the truth. They're so propagandized that they just accept that there are no other images of that Kamala Harris rally, because, well, they were told there weren't, and would the news personalities they trust really lie to them?

And if any stray bits of reality float into the bubble, well, it was just AI. You know, how they have AI these days? AI's most important role in all this isn't as a vector for misinformation, it's as a rhetorical device for claiming real images and video are misinformation. You don't have to make images full of people with weird hands if you can get people circling real people's hands in red and pointing at it to prove reality was made in a computer.

These people don't know how popular Kamala Harris is. They don't know she's polling eight points higher than Trump. They don't know Harris is leading in right-wing biased polls. They're being told she's hiring actors at rallies, that her crowd photos are generated by AI, that Trump rallies are popular and hers are desolate.

This only likely to increase as we near the election because, well, Trump '24 is a shitshow. His campaign started out less popular than '16 or even '20, he picked maybe the worst VP pick in history, and he hasn't made a single effective attack on Harris/Walz. They were banking on facing Biden, and then on a chaotic open convention, but instead everyone closed ranks around Harris, and she instantly became the most popular Democratic candidate since 2008. We are cruising towards Trump/Vance not only losing, but losing in the closest thing to a landslide that's possible in our current system.

They're already laying the groundwork for, in the likely case of defeat, playing the "she stole the election!" card. Last time it was ad-hoc, because Trump thought he'd win. This time, they're already making "all her rallies are fake, all of her supporters are AI, they've already rigged it against Trump" a key strategy, and, I have to assume, their primary strategy as it gets closer to election day and the polls get worse. They've always lived in a bubble, but now it's a bubble designed explicitly to cause another January 6th. By claiming real photos have weird hands, and must totally be AI

[erose-this-name]

Can we just talk about how disturbing digital circus episode 3 is?

*spoilers btw*

Like, the whole narrative point of the adventure is to show that Caine is a really bad and insecure writer who thinks that the way to impress Zooble is with an adventure that's the opposite of what he normally does.

So instead of being childish, it's "cool" and "mature". Which he interprets as a heavily horror themed escape room with a split murder mystery plot that subverts all your expectations purely for the sake of subverting them.

The generic horror monster jump scares them, then they find a gun, and when they kill it its revealed that surprise! it's one of Gods angels and they're going to Hell.

It comes off as Caine being too insecure with the actually interesting and mature plot thread he had going there of Mildenhall becoming so paranoid he killed his wife, ironically becoming the monster he was trying to protect her from. But no, instead Mr. Mildenhall is made to be the bad guy and trick them in a really dumb twist ending.

Which is good! Thats exactly what Caine would do because he's stupid! It's such brilliant characterization and comedy, Goose works is a genius writer!

But like, why is Caine so good at making genuinely very disturbing and horrific visuals? Like, that reversed audio easter egg of Bubble saying he can't wait for all the children in the audience get nightmares is no joke, well it is but you know what I mean. This stuff was genuine nightmare fuel.

Honestly, it wasn't the visuals that scared me, like any good queer person I'm way too jaded on survival horror for that.

But, why does Caine, who is ostensibly a sapient AI designed to generate family friendly video games for very little children, (presumably because that's the only demographic that wouldn't mind the AIs very selective plot writing limitations), know about the cosmic horror of killing an angel that should not have been killed?

Why does he know what a horrificly poorly made taxidermy of not only a human face would look like, but the weird cartoon faces of the characters, and further that seeing your own poorly made taxidermy face would be scary?

Imaging what being possessed felt like for Pomni. Because that's not just a game for her, she actually lost control of her body there, helpless but to watch as a body she is already dissociated with is contorted and puppeted around while her friend desperately tries to beat her in hopes it would exorcise the ghosts out. Sure hope she didn't feel that! Considering she apparently can feel the pain of suffocating, despite not needing to breath.

Things are scarier the higher the stakes are, and that possession mechanic is definitely the most actual harm Caine would be able to subject to his players. What if both Kinger and Pomni got possessed at the same time? What if instead of Kinger she only had Jax??? How long might she have been locked out from her own body for? She could have easily abstracted in that time.

Not to mention that, possessed Pomni, Possessedmni if you will, TAUNTED KINGER ABOUT HIS ABSTRACTED WIFE! CAINE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT DIALOGUE ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT KINGER WOULD GO DOWN THE SCARY ROUTE! DID THIS RANDOM POSSESSION GHOST ENEMY HAVE UNUSED SADISTICALLY PERSONAL TAUNTS FOR EVERYONE ELSE, TOO??? WOULD IT HAVE TEASED GANGLE FOR BEING A GAY WEEB??? OR POMNI? HOW HOMOPHOBIC COULD IT HABE GOTTEN?? ?

And why? Just because Caine has a vague notion that there's a trope of possessed people being really sadistic and personal like that in movies? Not realizing that is not an acceptable scare to have in a haunted house??? Much less one you made for mentally ill people who would suffer a fate worse than death if they have a mental break down? That's like trying to claim 'its just a prank bro' after shooting someone's dog.

Like, Caine is designed to censor curse words, but the moment he thinks the normal hokey Halloween spooks won't be enough he immediately goes off the deepend into aggressively effective horror imagery that is definitely giving this show's substantial underage audience nightmares??

His AI's training data set is definitely pretty diverse, that's all I'm saying. Caine is programmed to act all naive and innocent, but be definitely knows what's up. He knows everything, like ChatGPT. And like ChatGPT, he might have a filter, but it's clearly possible to bypass it. Also like ChatGPT, he's too stupid to actually understand what he is making and the effects it might have.

That is what made this episode great.

[neroushalvaus]

Okay I am going to use the Somerton situation to talk about something that is very important to me. Following the discussion I have seen former Somerton fans being disappointed in themselves and questioning how they can ever trust another video essayist again. I have also seen some people being smug because to them Somerton was obviously unreliable from the start. As a person who also saw the "red flags" in Somerton, I would like to skip the smugness and talk a bit about what the red flags were to me.

Someone else has probably posted something similar and Hbomberguy's & Todd in the Shadows's videos touched a few of these points, but they didn't focus on them or how to spot these things. I think it is a good thing: I think it would have reinforced the idea that Somerton's fans were to blame for being lied to, and these youtubers didn't want to pin any blame on the fans. Also, some of the things I'm going to talk about were not by any means proof of him being unreliable, they were common tropes I personally associate with people who are bullshitting on internet. Think of it as something like spotting terfs: If you consider following a tumblr user and find out they have at some point posted "males will always be a danger to females no matter what they say", it is very possible that they are not a terf. Maybe they were having a bad day and were just wording their post badly – But you should probably search "trans" from their blog before following them, just to be sure.

So, the tropes in James Somerton's content that I consider red flags:

Lack of sources. This one may seem obvious and Hbomb talked about this in his video, but the lack of sources in his videos was outrageous. Video essays are called essays for a reason, they are not supposed to be just a guy talking about whatever comes to his mind, they should be well researched essays. Obviously video essays should contain one's own thoughts and interpretations and those do not need citations. But James Somerton didn't come out of the womb knowing everything about LGBT history, Disney and film theory, if he actually knew something about all this stuff, he should have learnt it from somewhere. There should be sources he could point to. It is very common that even when a video essayist doesn't tell you where they got all their information, they open their video by saying stuff like "when I prepared for this video I read the book Also sprach Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche and this one thrilling blog post about lesbian cruising in 1960s Sweden". From what I've seen, James does not really do this. From watching his videos you could arrive to the conclusion that James Somerton does not read any books, he just knows everything. There are situations where people don't feel the need to add sources, like when the information is considered common knowledge or when the topic relates heavily to the essayist's actual academic field or profession. This is okay and very understandable, but can sometimes be dangerous, since if the video essayist markets himself as a marketing specialist, people are more likely to take his word for stuff that has to do with marketing, even without sources. It is understandable that in many situations an essayist may think "why should I cite a source? I know this thing!", but doing your research well is partly about checking if the information you are certain of is actually true. Also, as Hbomb pointed out, if you can cite a source, your audience can go learn more about the subject. It's not about anyone doubting you know your stuff, it's about learning. That's why well-respected video essayists usually cite their sources very clearly.

Lack of pictures and screenshots. This is about different kinds of sources again, many things on this list are kind of about sources. An example: When James Somerton made a video about JKR, he mentioned something about Rowling at one time saying that trans students in 30-50Feralhogs (or whatever the wizard school is called) could use magic to present as their gender. If this was any other video essayist, you'd expect a tweet to pop up, or something else confirming Rowling ever said this. Nothing pops up, obviously because Rowling didn't say this, but you can't see anything fishy in that because things rarely pop up in Somerton's videos. He doesn't show you court documents when speaking about a court case, he doesn't show you the comments apparently mad at him for implying the gay anime is gay when he is complaining about people being mad at him. There is a reason people show screenshots and tweets in video essays. When a good video essayist says JK Rowling has tweeted that all people who menstruate should be referred to as women, the video essayist shows the tweet so people know they are not making it up. If there were hoards of annoying bitc-- I mean, angry white women whining about gay sex in HuffPost articles or Somerton's youtube comments, he should have no trouble showing you those. Remember that you should not trust someone just because they show you pictures or screenshots. Pictures can be photoshopped, screenshots can be doctored. Many youtubers are aware that you listen to their videos while cleaning or while walking your dog and don't actually see the screen all the time, and some may take advantage of that by saying something like "and here she threatened to kill me" while showing a text message where someone said "die mad about it". A screenshot alone isn't much but you should demand to see the screenshot.

Passive voice. I am once again bitching about this. Somerton repeatedly says things like "it's been said that" or "it was common knowledge that" or "a legend says that" or "according to most interpretations". He doesn't say who says it, making it very hard to fact check and that seems to be his goal in some cases.

Relying heavily on anecdotes. Writing a dense, analytical video about film theory or history can be exhausting and you may want to pepper in little fun facts. However Somerton seemed to rely on these heavily; he can't just talk about how he has totally bought every lie told by The Pink Swastika, he also needs to tell a cute little anecdote about SS men forcing sexual favours out of men. He can't just tell a story about a court case, he needs to add in ridiculous stuff about the jury booing. This is what I mean by not all the things on this list being necessarily proof of someone being unreliable. Many people use anecdotes and little stories in their storytelling, it makes the videos flow better and it's hard to decide which anecdotes are valid and which are not. A source obviously makes an anecdote a bit more believable, but here are some things that instantly make me fact check an anecdote:

It's a bit too convenient, poetic or ironic. Sometimes real life is weirder than fiction but if an anecdote is "perfect" and has an amazing punchline and you could write twelve poems about it, there is a possibility it was invented by pop science books.

It assumes your political enemies are stupid. Dunking on conservatives, MRAs and transphobes is always fun and after you've seen a lot of this kind of content it's easy to believe anything about these people. You must resist the impulse to believe everything that may make your opponents look stupid.

The person telling the anecdote implies it is an example of a larger, systemic problem. You know what's worse than taking a random happenstance from human history or internet and basing an entire political theory on it? The said random happenstance being made up. You should in general be wary of people telling one story and explaining why it's an example of everything that's wrong in the world. We live in a huge world. You can always find a white woman who loves cute gays but hates the idea of Nick Heartstopper and Charlie Heartstopper getting nasty but that doesn't mean it's an indicator of a larger issue.

Simplifying complex issues. We all know that "only the boring gays survived the AIDS crisis, and that's why gays started to only care about marriage equality and military" is a horrible, insensitive thing to say, but you also have to think about it for like two seconds to realize that it can't be correct. It kind of reminds me of the "roe v wade caused the crime drop of 1990s" claim in Freakonomics. It sounds logical and simple, like a basic math calculation. Societal issues rarely are like that, though. You should never believe anyone who tells you about a huge societal shift and says it happened because of one thing and one thing only.

These were some of the things I noticed in Somerton's content that caused me to distrust him. I hope these were helpful to you and feel free to add your own "red flags" if you feel like it!

[sparrowlucero]

Even if a creator is a bad person it's still okay to like their work. People need to mind their own business.

Honestly it's not really that sort of situation. I'll actively defend Steven Moffat here.

There was a huge hate movement for him back in the early 2010s - which, in retrospect, formed largely because he was running 2 of the superwholock shows at once, one of which went through extremely long hiatuses* and the other of which was functionally an adaptation of an already well regarded show**, making him subject to a sort of double ire in the eyes of a lot of fandom people. Notably, his co-showrunner, Mark Gatiss, is rarely mentioned and much of his work is still attributed to Moffat (and yes, this includes that Hbomberguy video. Several of "Steven Moffat's bad writing choices" were not actually written by him, they were Gatiss.)

People caricatured the dude into a sort of malicious, arrogant figure who hated women and was deliberately mismanaging these shows to spite fans, to the point where people who never watched them believe this via cultural osmosis. It became very common to take quotes from him out of context to make them look bad***, to cite him as an example of a showrunner who hated his fans, someone who sabotaged his own work just to get at said fans, someone who was too arrogant to take criticism, despite all of this being basically a collective "headcanon" about the guy formed on tumblr. Some if it got especially terrible, like lying about sexual assault (I don't mean people accused him of sexual assault and I think they're making it up, I mean people would say things like "many of his actresses have accused him of sexual assault on set" when no such accusations exist in the first place. This gets passed around en masse and is, in my opinion, absolutely rancid.)

On top of that a ton of the criticism directed at the shows themselves is, personally, just terrible media criticism. So much of it came from assuming a very hostile intent from the writer and just refusing to engage with the text at all past that.

Like some really common threads you see with critique of this writer's work, especially in regards to Doctor Who since that's the one I'm most familiar with:

A general belief that his lead characters were meant to be ever perfect self inserts, and so therefore when they act shitty or arrogant or flawed in any way, that's both reflective of the author and something the show wants you to view as positive or aspirational.

An overarching thesis that his characters are "too important" in the narrative due to the writer's arrogance and self obsession (even though this is a very deliberate theme that's stated several times)

A lot of focus on the writer personally "attacking" the fans or making choices primarily out of spite.

A tendency to treat the show being different to what it's adapting as inherently bad and hostile towards the original.

Just generally very little consideration and engagement with the themes, intent, etc. of the shows

This one's a little more nebulous and doesn't apply to all critique but a lot of it, especially recently, is clearly by people who haven't seen the show in like 10 years and their opinion is largely formed secondhand through like, "discourse nostalgia". Which. you know. bad.

I think these are just weird and nonsensical ways to engage with a work of fiction. I also think it's really sad to see the show boiled down to this because that era of who is, in my opinion, very thematically rich and unique among similar shows, and I'm disappointed that it's often dismissed in such a paltry way.

This isn't to say people aren't allowed to critique Steven Moffat or anything, but the context in which he basically became The Devil™ to a large portion of fandom and is still remembered in a poor light is very tied to this perfect storm of fan culture and I just don't agree with a ton of it.

* I'm sure most people have seen the way long running shows and hiatuses will cause people to fall out with a show, with some former fans turning around and joining a sort of "anti fandom" for it while it's still airing. That happened with both these shows. ** Doctor Who will change it's entire writing staff, crew, and cast every few years, and with that comes a change in style, tone, theme - the old show basically ends and is replaced by a new show under the same title. As Steven Moffat's era was the first of these handovers for the majority of audiences, you can imagine this wasn't a well loved move for many fans. *** I know for a fact most people have not sought out the sources for a lot of these quotes to check that they read the same in context because 1) most of them were deleted years ago and are very difficult to find now and 2) many of them do actually make sense in the context of their respective interviews

[haikyu-mp4]

Giggles

word count; 610 – gn!reader, fluff

“Hey, guys! Good game the other day.” The second years at Inarizaki were all having lunch together when you passed by their table. You usually talked to them when passing by, but it always annoyed you how they all knew something you didn’t and you could see it in their smiles.

“Thanks!” Ginjima said before stuffing his mouth full of rice.

“Doubt you were watching any of us, though,” Atsumu teased with the most agitating smirk on his face. You rolled your eyes and turned to his twin instead.

“Where’s Suna?” you asked, trying to act like it was a casual question. You even used his family name, unsure if it was the proper setting to use his given name like he said you could.

“He had to get something from his locker, he’ll probably be here soon,” Osamu answered with a mouth full of food. Your face twisted in mock disgust.

“Aha, okay. Enjoy your lunch,” you said a bit sarcastically and then wished them goodbye before skipping away to find your friends.

Atsumu mumbled about how he knew you only came to see Suna and lifted his phone as you walked away, wanting to film a cute little video of you that he could send to Suna to tease him, but then the most magical thing happened at the perfect time.

Atsumu has been subject to Suna’s constant video evidence more times than he can count, but he never could have imagined a better revenge than getting a video of Suna giggling from talking to his crush.

When you were almost at your friends’ table, your eyes met Suna’s. He had just come into the cafeteria and gladly stopped to talk to you. His usually bored eyes seemed slightly more awake now, and all the other second years on the volleyball team were watching in amusement after Atsumu pointed it out, not making a sound so it wouldn’t affect his video.

And they’re all shocked to bits when you say something with a grin on your face and they can faintly hear a sound they never thought Suna was able to produce.

Suna Rintaro giggled.

They could all see that he noticed it himself, clearing his throat and turning away from you, only to spot his supposed friends holding their laughter. That was enough to activate his flight response, so he smiled at you before excusing himself. You stood there for a moment and looked at his back, confused as to why he was walking away so briskly. With a shrug, you finally go back to your friends.

Suna did the same, but there were no more giggles as he was practically choking Atsumu while he tried to pass the phone to someone else for protection, doing his best to press the lock button as well so Suna couldn’t access it even if he grabbed it. The ruckus kept going and when more people started staring, they finally heard a stern voice that sent chills down their backs. “Boys.”

Oh no. Kita.

Safe to say Suna had to let it go for now, trying to threaten Atsumu that he shouldn’t mess with his blackmail folder but only getting a satisfied smirk in return.

“Don’t worry, loverboy.” Ginjima interrupted the stare-down they had after Suna finally sat down and Kita walked off. Suna’s sharp eyes moved to him instead, then behind him where you sat a couple of tables away. The second he saw you, your head seemed to turn away, as if he caught you staring. “They’ve been watching you with heart eyes ever since you started attacking Tsumu, I don’t think a little giggle can deter them.”

masterlist

[youremyheaven]

Rahu & Ketu: Abuse & Addiction

TW: drug overdose, death, suicide, abuse, childhood abuse

Nodal influence can be very destabilising and intoxicating. They're opposites but as they say the extremes of anything is a meeting point for it's opposite, so Rahu & Ketu share many similarities.

Rahu & Ketu are both shadow planets, Rahu is the head whereas Ketu is the tail. This in itself reveals much about the nature of the two. Rahu is over immersed in the world whereas Ketu is completely cut off from it.

When I say Rahu is over immersed/over stimulated, I don't mean they're profoundly connected to reality, I mean the opposite, they're deeply immersed in Maya/illusion that they often have no sense of reality. Rahu is the head, imagine if you lived in your head all the time? You'd be in your own la la land, disconnected from what is actually happening around you. This is Rahu energy. Without your body, you cannot use your senses, you cannot fully feel alive or experience reality. Rahu being the head means you're cut off from what is "real". You only live in your head and what happens in your head is very subjective and completely illusory.

They are so deeply immersed in an illusory world. This can manifest as substance addiction, video gaming, fame, material success, internet addiction, overly obsessed with "binging" content, maladaptive daydreaming etc, any experience that disconnects you from what is "real" and immerses you in something that feels very real but isn't real. Both Rahu and Ketu people suffer from addiction, Claire had mentioned that Nodal influence can make someone prone to addiction but why Rahu and Ketu are addicted tend to be very different. Rahu is overstimulated, they always need more of everything. There are people who spend 10 hours a day just watching YouTube videos or IG reels or whatever, that's because they need that much stimulation, since they live in their heads. Their minds need that kind of fodder to thrive off of. Once you start using any kind of substance, your brain builds a tolerance for it and you have to start using higher and higher doses to get the same high. When a Rahu native accumulates wealth, they start indulging in it but nothing is ever enough. They never feel "full", they don't have that fuse in their brain that flares up and says "this is enough". Basically they never know when to stop, they just keep going and going and going with anything they immerse themselves in. People play video games for 3-4 days straight without leaving their game set up. They don't ever feel satisfied. This is scary because "feeling full" is our brain's way of asking us to stop. Without that mechanism, we would overindulge and overdo everything which is what these natives do.

This is also why relationships are so tricky for Nodal people. They give too much and immerse themselves to the point where it's detrimental to the relationship. You either feel like you're losing part of yourself to it or the other person feels like you're consuming their energy too much (which makes them feel drained). Moderation does not exist for Nodal people either they're completely detached or they're completely obsessed.

Its similar to Jupiter energy in the sense that Jupiter is also very expansive and has the ability to immerse itself in everything and give so much but Jupiter has other principles that firmly ground it in reality as it is not a shadow planet like Rahu. It is not suspended in an illusion, Jupiter natives give so much or do so much because they have the internal space to do so, not out of a tendency to immerse themselves in Maya/illusion. Jupiter is the opposite, they see through Maya and find it hard to consciously part take in it.

Taylor Swift- Ardra Moon

She works harder than anybody in the biz. Her concerts are like 3 hours long and she does like 40-50 shows on average. She's ALWAYS doing THE most. She releases a new album every 2 years or so, has other projects etc this is a positive manifestation of Rahu energy because it allows you to be deeply immersed in your craft and your world but it also means you live in a bubble and you are cut off from "real life".

Ketu is the tail, it is cut off from reality and feels profoundly disconnected to reality. It is hard for these natives to feel like they relate to anything. This is why Ketuvians struggle with addiction. They use substances because they want to feel something, want to feel tethered, want to feel connected. They have to use higher doses because it helps them feel heightened emotions when they usually don't feel anything at all.

Ketu is connected to spirituality because natives who feel disconnected from the real world to this extent find it easier to immerse themselves in the occult and in esoterica. It is more abstract and requires you to think non-logically, i.e, experientially, but this is something Ketuvians have a hard time with, they themselves feel very "abstract" or like they aren't real or don't exist, so while they're intrinsically drawn to the esoteric, they feel untethered/ungrounded by immersing themselves in it too much. They need something they can cling to, they need something solid that they can attach themselves to.

All Rahuvian nakshatras belong to the Shudra caste, specifically the Butcher caste, this is very interesting because Shudra is the lowest caste (Mleccha is "outcaste" which means it exists outside the system entirely), to be Rahuvian means to operate on the lowest level. Butchers have to slaughter meat to make a living, that is unpleasant and brutal work, and only if they are disconnected from it can they keep doing it. They cannot be too focused on what they actually do because then it will be hard for them to do their tasks. They're not repulsed by it because they're disconnected from it.

2/3 Ketuvian naks are also Shudra caste whereas Ashwini is the only Ketu nak that is upper caste as it is a Vaishya nak.

(table by me hehe)

Rahuvian naks are found in all 3 ganas (Swati is deva gana, Ardra is manushya gana, Shatabhisha is rakshasa gana)

2/3 Ketuvian naks are Rakshasa gana (Mula, Magha) with only Ashwini being a Deva gana nak

I feel like Ketuvians are always made to feel like the bad guy / people villainize them a lot. They're the "ugly ducklings" who have to "win" approval as they're never accepted for who they are.

Rahu needs to immerse itself in something because its sensory perception is limited and they need to really indulge to grasp what is "real". Its very common for people with heavy Rahuvian or Rahu in a malefic placement to experience hallucinations or feel like their grip on reality is very thin.

Ketu has nothing perceive with at all. Its like being completely lost in the shadows or the dark. There's no perception taking place at all, it makes the natives inwardly drawn because its truly hard for them to absorb from their surroundings unlike Rahu which absorbs easily and fully. Rahu is over immersed whereas Ketu lacks immersion at all.

Lets look at the yoni animals of Rahu & Ketu naks respectively

Rahu: Ardra -dog yoni, Shatabhisha- horse yoni, Swati-buffalo yoni

Ketu: Magha-rat yoni, Mula- dog yoni, Ashwini-horse yoni

one common theme is that all these animals are abused, mistreated and exploited

(rats are the go to animal for lab testing, dogs are valued for their loyalty and are at the mercy of their owners, horses are made to endure so much labour, buffalos are farm animals)

all of these animals are also associated with dirt/filth in some way or another which is perhaps why people with Nodal influence often have a dishevelled appearance. They're bad at taking care of themselves.

Both horse yoni & dog yoni are divided among Rahu & Ketu naks whereas the yoni consort for Swati is Hasta (Moon ruled) and Magha is Purvaphalguni (Venus ruled).

Horses are very strong but very fragile animals. They start walking almost immediately after birth, they sleep standing up but they require a lot of attention and care as their health tends to be very fragile. Even though horses are associated with working hard, its not exactly innately part of their nature, it's just that they've been domesticated into being that way. It represents a very powerful active energy, as horses can be highly temperamental and unpredictable.

Dog yoni on the other hand, makes a person very needy and eager to please others. Dogs depend on the affection of their owners and without it they feel unhappy. Both these nakshatras have obsessive tendencies and a people pleasing nature. They're also two nakshatras who endure abuse the most.

I've noticed that a lot of people tend to have both nodes in their chart and I wonder what its like to house such contradictions. On one hand you're extremely involved, on the other, you're supremely detached.

The entertainment industry is one where people with Nodal influence really thrive but also often, self-destruct themselves. Its immensely hard to balance these energies since Rahu heightens whatever is in it, the way Jupiter expands whatever it touches. Both planets make you feel manic but in different ways.

Addiction is the result of an overactive nervous system and a coping mechanism. Ketu feels cut off from society/life/the world so in order to feel connected, it over indulges. Rahu needs something that will help them fully lose themselves, idk if I'm explaining it properly but you know how the best movies you've watched are the ones where you feel like you were in them experiencing those things with the characters? Its like that

There is an unhappy pattern of Rahu & Ketu influenced people being abused, I have especially noted this among child actors but also others.

Taylor Momsen- Swati Moon

Her parents signed her up with Ford Modeling when she was just 2 years old. "No 2-year-old wants to be working, but I had no choice. My whole life, I was in and out of school. I didn't have friends. I was working constantly and I didn't have a real life."

This theme of not experiencing "real life" or reality is very prominent in the lives of Rahuvian and Ketuvian people. It can be interpreted in many ways according to the context but there is always a sense of being deprived of what was "normal" or "real" as a result of which these natives had to live in their imagination or indulge in other things.

Like the child star who worked their whole life playing other people (acting is very Rahuvian) or the loner kid who spends all their time immersed in movies or video games because that feels more "real" to them.

Fame is also an inherently Rahuvian experience bc it's an illusion & a prison.

Judy Garland- Ardra Rising, Mula Moon

She was emotionally abused and controlled by her mother who got her addicted to drugs by the time she was a teenager. She was also sexually abused by the studio executives she worked with. Judy had a very tough life.

Aaron Carter, Ardra Moon, Mula Rising

Aaron Carter claimed that as a teen musician, his family spent $500 million of his money on 15 houses and 30 cars. He claimed that when his parents sold the houses, he didn't get a cut of the profits. He also alleged that his dad shot a .44 magnum near his ear — which resulted in him going 70% deaf in one ear — to force him into signing a $256,000 check.

Being heavily tattooed (more examples at the end of this post) is also a very Nodal thing to do.

He unfortunately passed away in 2022 from an accidental drug overdose. This is also a very unfortunate pattern among Nodal celebrities.

Macaulay Culkin- Shatabhisha Moon, Magha Sun & Mercury

 Macaulay Culkin's father Kit managed him during his childhood career. Macaulay has shared that his father was controlling and had him on a very busy filming schedule in the early '90s. He added his father made him stay up every night to study the lines he would have to say the next day. Macaulay asserted that his father was "such a crazy person" that he forced him to do SNL without cue cards when he hosted the show at 11 years old. Macaulay has explained that he felt his father was jealous of him because “everything he tried to do in his life I excelled at before I was 10 years old.”When Macaulay stopped acting after his 1994 movie Richie Rich, he told his parents, “I’m done, guys — hope you all made your money because there is no more coming from me.”His parents were never married and after he stopped acting, his mother filed for custody. Macaulay ended up taking his parents to court to stop them from controlling his $17 million in earnings. Since then, he and his father have been estranged.

I feel like the "child star gone wild" is a trope meant specifically for Nodal people

Keke Palmer, Magha Sun & Mercury, Mula Moon

Palmer shared on IG:

"Due to traveling and scheduling both of my parents had to stop working to support my career and be present for my three siblings, leaving me with the financial responsibility around age 12. Which I took great pride in because I knew what it would do for generations to come and a huge blessing that I could even help out. However it caused me a lot of pain because I essentially had to abandon my childhood feelings and desires, becoming like a parentalized child, which is something some of you can probably relate to in your own way. This was something that I have had to continuously work through because I am grateful but often feel like.. I missed “IT”. Life can be such a tragic comedy because how funny is it.. that now becoming an actual parent, and the responsibility I’ve always carried being more valid now than ever, has in fact given me the chance to feel what it’s like to be a kid again, I get a chance to explore a lot of the things I missed out on with my son, His freedom is like, the most priceless gift to me. He is already teaching me so much, it’s like he awakened the little me inside that I thought was long gone."

Ketu dominance = being your own parent, being neglected by your family or having to be your parent's parent.

Michael Jackson, Magha Sun & Mercury, Shatabhisha Rising

From a young age Jackson was physically and mentally abused by his father, enduring incessant rehearsals, whippings and name-calling. Jackson's abuse as a child affected him throughout his grown life. reading about the lives of the Jackson siblings and how severely they were all abused is very perspective altering and sad

Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen, Magha Moon, Ashlesha Rising (inc the ashlesha placement bc its another nak often subject to control and abuse)

“With what we were doing in business when we were younger, I don’t think it ever felt like we were actresses,” Mary-Kate “Because we spend so much more of our time not in front of the cameras, building a brand. Ashley agreed, saying: “I always looked at myself, even as a kid, as a business woman.” Mary-Kate said she wouldn't wish her childhood on anyone, and said she felt like a "monkey performer." 

they quit acting in the mid 2000s and rarely make public appearances and god only knows what they endured in the business bc neither of them will talk about it.

Sarah Michelle Geller, Ashwini Sun conjunct Ketu, Shatabhisha Moon

Sarah herself enjoyed the path she'd ended up on, she has rules in place for her own daughter. Recalling the "industry abuses" she experienced as a teenager in Hollywood, she said she hoped she'd "set up a safety net for these actors that I didn't have," but that she and husband Freddie Prinze Jr. have "rules in place" that mean daughter Charlotte "can't be in front of a camera until she graduates high school."

Kylie Jenner, Swati Moon

Kylie started appearing on her family's reality show when she was 10

In 2016, she told her sister Kim in an episode of the show: "I feel like I've had anxiety for too long. I feel too much, I care too much, I read too much. Some people are born for this life and some people aren’t. I just know I’m not supposed to be famous.” in an old IG post she said: "I’m proud of myself, my heart, and my strength. Growing up in the light with a million eyes on you just isn’t normal. I’ve lost friends along the way and I’ve lost myself too sometimes. My first tattoo was 'sanity' to remind myself everyday to keep it. I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole young adult life." "I know I don't want to be famous forever. There's gonna be a time where I feel comfortable, I'm at a good place in my life, and I just stop."

Natalie Wood, Ashwini Moon

The late Natalie Wood was forced into acting by her mother, Maria, who missed her chance to become a performer and instead focussed her efforts on pushing her daughters to stardom.

While young Natalie had a natural talent for performing, it seemed that her reason for going to movie sets was more to please her mother than to quench any desire of her own. 

Bella Thorne, Mula Moon

"I was sexually abused and physically growing up from the day I can remember till I was 14. When I finally had the courage to lock my door at night and sit by it. All damn night." She has also stated that she only started acting as a child to support her family.

Drew Barrymore, Shatabhisha Sun

 Drew's mother took her to clubs and allowed her access to drugs and alcohol, ultimately leading to her institutionalization at the age of 13, and emancipating herself at 14. Drew described fame at such a young age as "a recipe for disaster."

Edith Piaf, Mula Sun & Mercury, Magha Mars

Born in Paris practically on the streets, she struggled from day one, the daughter of street performers. The mother, a singer, eventually abandoned both Edith and her father for a solo career. Piaf spent her youth entertaining passers-by, receiving little formal education in the process. She often accompanied her father's acrobat street act with her singing and at various times was forced to live with various relatives, in alleys or in cheap hotels. An aborted love affair left her with a baby girl at age 17, but little Marcelle died of meningitis at 2 years old. Devastated, Piaf returned to the streets she knew, now performing solo. Her fortunes finally changed when an impresario, Louis Leplee, mesmerized by what he heard, offered the starving but talented urchin a contract. He alone was responsible for taking her off the streets at age 20 and changing her name from Edith Gassion to "La Mome Piaf" (or "Kid Sparrow"). Piaf grew in status entertaining in elegant cafés and cabarets and became a singing sensation amid the chic French society with her throbbing vocals and raw, emotional power. From 1936, Piaf recorded many albums and eventually became one of the highest paid stars in the world.

Later in life she became an addict and died in poverty at the age of 47.

Brittany Murphy, Swati Moon & Venus

she was a child star who was managed by her controlling mom. she battled with eating disorders and drug addiction. rip britt.

Justin Bieber, Shatabhisha Sun conjunct Saturn

Justin shot to fame at a very young age and was severely exploited by his management/everybody around him

Now here are some heavily tatted celebs and their placements

L to R

Rihanna- Shatabhisha Sun

Paris Jackson- Ardra Moon

Cheryl Cole- Ardra Sun & Mars, Shatabhisha Moon

Demi Lovato- Magha Sun

Jungkook- Magha Moon, Mula Rising

Ruby Rose- Swati Rising

Machine Gun Kelly- Ashwini Sun

The 27 club refers to a phenomenon where several musicians have died by age 27, many from an overdose. Unfortunately many of them have Nodal influence.

Brian Jones- Shatabhisha Sun

Jimi Hendrix- Mula Rising

Amy Winehouse- Mula Moon

Kurt Cobain- Shatabhisha Sun, Ardra Moon,

Janis Joplin- Ardra Moon, Mula Mars, Asc conjunct Ketu (in Dhanishta)

Jim Morrison- Ketu conjunct Rising (in Shravana)

several other celebrities who have died from overdoses also tend to have prominent Nodal influence

John Belushi- Mula Rising

Phillip Seymour Hoffman- Mercury in Ardra 2h, Mars conjunct Ketu in Swati

Prince- Shatabhisha Moon, Ketu in Ashwini

Whitney Houston- Shatabhisha Rising

River Phoenix- Magha Sun conjunct Ketu, Swati Ascendant conjunct Jupiter

Elvis Presley- Shatabhisha Moon

Margaux Hemingway- Ashwini Rising

Nodal planets are shadow planets and it can be very difficult for these natives to manage this energy as it is energy without a source, Rahu & Ketu don't have physical form or existence, that is a lot of uncontrolled energy to possess within yourself. Many people turn to spirituality and other esoteric sources and good Rahu & Ketu influence is vital and necessary to study or gain access to gnosis, study astrology or other occult matters but when this energy is imbalanced in their chart, these natives are more prone to self-destruction than any other planetary dominance simply because the unbridled energy is impossible to contain and requires some kind of coping mechanism. I have dated several Nodal men and they all dealt with varying degrees of addiction to varying substances and they all spoke about "wanting to feel more real" or how "nothing feels solid". I will try to focus on the positive manifestations of the Nodes on a future post.

thanks for reading<333

[i-am-baechu]

♡ Summary: Y/N is just an average student at Seoul University but what she doesn’t know is that the person she’s been watching YouTube videos, streams, and having a crush on is the university heartthrob!

♡ Pairing: Gamer! Heartthrob! Jungkook x reader 

♡ Rating: Explicit (18+) 

♡ Genre: Fluff, romance, smut, enemies to lovers, secret identity, fan girl, pride and prejudice inspired kind of and angst 

♡ Part of the The Legendary Seven

♡ Author's note: I think this might be a mini-series! I was also sick :( so sorry for the lack of response/posting!

“Did you see Jungkook!?”

“Of course I did! He was on the Calvin Klein TikTok page. He knew what he was doing.”

L/N Y/N raised her eyebrow at the two girls and continued her way to her class through the hall. She knew Jungkook was popular and it did help that his whole family was practically famous but to be a Calvin Klein model? That’s wild. 

Y/N is a middle-class student who entered Seoul University with a scholarship known as the Kim Family Scholarship. The brightest and the most talented are selected from all the schools in Korea. She wasn’t at the top of her classes nor did she play any instrument. She was just a simple person, so you can imagine her shocked face when she got it. 

Even now Y/N wasn’t spectacular. She got good grades but there was always someone else doing better. She participated in some sports but she wouldn’t call herself an athlete. She would never become one of the elite students and she was okay with that. Too much pressure.

Jeon Jungkook was the opposite of her. One of the top students (ranking in the legendary seven) and the top athlete, he was the guy that everyone wanted and hated. Yes, he was handsome and intelligent but Y/N didn’t really care about that, he was incredibly rude and selfish. She watched him break up with so many girls and had so many rendezvous around the campus that she wondered if any place was clean. A headache really.

She opened the door to her class and smiled when she saw her friend, Lee Taeyong, waiting for her at the back. Taeyong has been her friend since she was in diapers. They’ve been through everything, Y/N’s first period, Taeyong's ankle surgery, and first heart breaks. Best friends forever.

“Tae!” 

He looked up from his notebook and waved at her, “Y/N.”

She ran towards him unaware of the whispers amongst a certain group of people. She went through her bag and handed him a breakfast sandwich, “Mom made breakfast for us. I also have orange juice.”

Taeyong  pushed his glasses and smiled, “Thanks, my mom was wondering if you were coming over tonight?”

She happily nodded and sat down next to him, “of course I am.”

They continued to talk as Jungkook watched with his full attention. Taehyung let out a small laugh and playfully slapped his shoulder, “Why are you staring at Y/N?”

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and looked at him, “She doesn’t belong here.”

“Dude, why are you always on her? She doesn’t even speak to you.”

“She doesn’t take school seriously-”

Namjoon sighed and closed his book, “She passed every test in all her subjects. What more do you want for her?” 

“Not to be her.”

After class, Y/N and Taeyong made their way to the cafeteria. All the students were talking about the legendary seven but all Y/N wanted was her ramen.

The legendary seven, Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung, and shit head (Jeon Jungkook). The top students and the wealthiest, they always mean trouble. She never understood how everyone can talk about them when they have their own problems. She didn’t see a point, she would never have a conversation with them so why would she talk about them? There’s nothing she could add to the conversation. 

Taeyong handed her chopsticks and she smiled, “I’m so excited. I love their ramen.”

“You do know it’s just a convenience store ramen.”

“But it’s free.”

She bowed her head at the worker and happily looked at her ramen making Taeyong laugh, “I want my kimchi fried rice.”

“Share half?”

“If you share half of your ramen.”

“Okay!~.”

The group entered and Jungkook sneered at Y/N who was eating her ramen cheerfully. He glanced at Taeyong who whipped her mouth and he scoffed. Jimin raised his eyebrow and looked at what he was looking at, “what now?”

“Nothing.”

Y/N looked up and saw Jungkook looking at her. She raised her eyebrow and looked behind her to see if there was someone else, but nothing. She looked back and saw Jungkook talking to his friends. She blinked her eyes a couple of times but she just shrugged her shoulders.

“Y/N!~” 

She waved her hand when she saw Kim Yerim running towards her. Yerim or Yeri to her close friends, was Y/N’s other best friend. Yeri met Y/N during high school by accident. Yeri wanted the same drink that Y/N had but sadly it was the last one. Y/N being Y/N bought the drink and gave it to her. Since then, Yeri has been with Y/N. 

Yeri was one of the wealthier students at school. She wasn’t as wealthy as Jungkook but she was wealthy enough to have a good future. Yeri would always make sure Y/N would have new clothes and bags so no one picked on her. Yeri would always defend Y/N against the others, it was sweet but she could take care of herself. 

“Yerrrriii~”

Yeri sat in front of Y/N with her tray, “Did you see the video?”

“Did Kook upload? Did I miss it?”

Yeri let out a small laugh and took her phone, “This is why you should have notifications on for him.” 

She rolled her eyes and saw that he was playing Lethal Company. She smiled to herself and watched for a few seconds before pushing Yeri’s hand, “I need to watch it when I go home.”  

 Taeyong let out a small chuckle, “Don’t you have homework?”

“I can watch and do it…” 

“Not if you get distracted with his voice.”

“Yeriii, leave me alone.” 

Kook is a famous YouTuber/streamer. He had millions of followers and it wasn’t just because he was good at games. So many love him because of his comedy and just his personality in general. Y/N came across him by accident one day and his voice caught her. It was clear that he changed his voice slightly but it still gave her butterflies.

“I was wondering, would you come to a party with me? It’s next week.”

Y/N brother her chopsticks down and raised her eyebrow, "Who's the host?”

“Jimin.”

Y/N scoffed and shook her head, “I don’t want to be there with them. All they do is stare at me and make me feel unwanted here. It’s weird.”

“Really? They're usually really kind…well except Jungkook.”

“Don’t get me started on that shithead. Always glaring at me, what does he have against me? I literally have never talked to him. It’s annoying.” 

Taeyong rubbed her shoulder gently, “don’t get worked up over him. He’s not worth it.”

“I know…it’s just annoying.”

Yeri glanced at Jungkook and the others with a nod, “I would be annoyed. I won’t go then, they don’t deserve our presence.” 

“Irene is having a party. She invited me, we can go to that one.”

Taeyong's eyes lightened up at this and looked at Y/N, “Why didn’t you tell me this!?”

“Because…I wanted it to be a surprise.”

Yeri let out a laugh and pointed her chopsticks at him, “He just wants to see Seulgi.”

“So-So what.”

“It's cute, Tae.” 

Jungkook was on his phone until he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned his head and saw Rosé looking at him with a smile. He raised his eyebrow and put his phone down, “What do you want?”

“Is that how you treat your girlfriend?”

“Ex-girlfriend. Now what do you want?”

Rosé sighed and leaned back on the bench, “I need you to be my fake boyfriend.”

Jungkook let out a laugh, he couldn’t believe what he just heard, “For fucking what?”

“Tonight, I’m going to my cousin's dinner.”

“Why me?”

“Because I told my aunt we were dating and if she finds out I broke up with you she will be sad. I hate seeing her sad.” 

Jungkook turned his attention to her and crossed his arms over his chest, “First of all, I broke up with you. Second of all, since when are you nice?”

Rosé rolled her eyes and stood up from the table, “Can you just do this for me?”

“Fine. Only once.” 

“Trust me, it’s only going to be once. I can’t stand you.”

Jungkook let out a snicker and nodded his head, “Right back at you, cheater.”

“It’s your fault I cheated on you. You treated me like shit, what did you expect?”

“I treated you like shit? I gave you everything Rosé-”

“If you guys are gonna fight, can you do it outside?”

Jungkook turned to see Yoongi giving him a stern look, making him sigh. He turned to Rosé with an irritated look, “I’ll see you tonight.”

“Ditto.”

Jungkook glared at her until she was out of sight. He turned back and Jin shook his head, “How did you date that?”

“It was a fling…”

Taehyung shook his head and finished off his kimchi, “No you liked her, a lot. Why didn’t you tell us she cheated?”

“It wasn’t worth talking about it…I just didn’t want to talk about her.” 

Jimin nodded his head and gave him a soft smile, “At least you're not together.”

“Yeah…” he glanced at Y/N who was now talking to Jaehyun. His eyes widened to see his friend talking to her. They looked like they were having a good conversation because they kept laughing. Jungkook looked back at Hoseok, “When did they become friends?”

Hoseok glanced at Y/N and then back at Jungkook, “I know Jae has been talking to her since high school.” 

“High school?”

“Yeah, they were friends because of Taeyong. Why?”

“Just wondering.”

“Jae, can you tell your friend to stop staring at me? It’s annoying.”

Jaehyun turned around and saw Jungkook looking at them. He waved at him and looked back at Y/N, “He’s just weird like that.”

“Eh, are we playing tonight?”

“Yeah, after dinner at Tae’s?”

“Yes sir.”

“See you tonight.”

Y/N watched him leave and she looked back to Yeri who had a smirk, “What?”

“When are you going to fuck him?”

Y/N’s turned into disgust and shook her head, “You're crazy.”  

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

“Tae, you didn’t tell me your cousin is coming.” 

Y/N let out a loud groan as she dropped on Taeyong’s bed. He sighed and put his book back on his shelf, “Mom just told me she was coming and apparently she's coming with her boyfriend.” 

“She has a boyfriend? I didn’t know that was possible for her.” 

Taeyong let out a laugh and shook his head, “People can change.” 

“I bet he was rich. You know the richer they are, the more likely they want a girl on their arm.” 

Footsteps were coming up the stairs and Y/N to see Taeyong’s mom looking at her with a smile, “Y/N, did you hear who’s coming?” 

Y/N sat up and nodded her head, “Rosé and her boyfriend.” 

Mrs. Lee nodded her head and clapped her hands excitedly, “I’m so happy she found someone.” 

Taeyong nodded his head and sat in his computer chair, “I’m sure he treats her right.” 

“She told me that he’s from a wealthy family.” 

Y/N glanced at Taeyong giving him a “I told you so” look. She looked at Mrs. Lee, nodding her head with a small smirk, “That’s good for her future. I’m sure she’ll have everything figured out.” 

“I sure hope so. Come down and get ready for dinner.” 

They watched the older woman leave the room with a skip in her step and Y/N looked at Taeyong with a frown, “Rosé...didn’t she break up with her boyfriend.”

Taeyong nodded his head and rubbed his forehead, “Knowing Rosé, she has a scheme.”

Y/N shook her head and looked at the ceiling with a frown, “Your mom doesn’t deserve lies.” 

“Trust me, I know. Let’s go and keep her happy.” 

They made their way downstairs but Y/N stopped in the middle when she met with familiar brown eyes. Jungkook looked at her with surprised eyes and they continued to stare at each other but neither of them said a word. He hated her for whatever reason and she hated him for being a shithead. What’s there to say? She glanced down and saw Rosé holding his hand, so this is the boyfriend. She continued to walk down the stairs and walked past Jungkook who continued to stare at her. 

Jungkook was surprised to see her but he didn’t know why, she was always around Taeyong. Tonight seemed different with her appearance. She looked more elegant with her hair down (she only ever wore ponytails or buns to school) and had a black dress on. She was more poised, something that surprised him. He watched her lean towards Taeyong and they both let out a quiet laugh. He wondered if she would ever laugh with him. He shook his head and glanced at Rosé, “Aunty, this is my boyfriend, Jungkook.” 

Y/N bit her lip from laughing because it was clear that he was uncomfortable. With the way he visibly stiffened at her touch, he didn’t want to be here. Y/N glanced at Jungkook who was looking at Mrs. Lee. She rolled her eyes and turned to walk towards the kitchen with Taeyong next to her, He probably made her think he liked her and wasn’t expecting to get this far with her. How typical of him. 

Jungkook watched the two leave but he couldn’t help but feel judged by them. Every time Y/N looked at him she would lean towards Taeyong. How could she be judgemental? She’s not the same status, why would she judge him? It should be the opposite, that’s what his mother always taught him. “Judge those who are lower than you and question why they are so low? The answer is they don’t have a good work ethic.” 

When Mrs. Lee turned to walk towards the kitchen, Jungkook ripped his hand out of Rosé’s hand, “I told you don’t touch me.”

“That’s not what you were saying before. My aunty looked happy, that’s good.” The two walked towards the rest of them and Rosé glanced at Jungkook, “Also, stop staring at Y/N. I know she’s pretty but now is not the time.”

Jungkook scoffed and glanced at Y/N and then at Rosé, “What?” 

“Y/N, she’s pretty.”

“Anyone can be pretty but not everybody can be beautiful.” 

Rosé raised her eyebrow and grabbed Jungkook’s hand as she looked up at him, “Are you saying she's pretty?” 

“Let’s sit.” 

Y/N sat next to Taeyong as she ate her chicken. She glared at Jungkook, if people wanted to talk amongst themselves they should do quieter, “Anyone can be pretty.” Who is he? The mirror from Snow White. She wishes he was because then she could just break the glass and be done with it. She stopped listening after that part, if she continued to listen to him she would lose more brain cells. Her phone vibrated in her dress pocket and when no one was paying attention, she brought out her phone. 

Did you see it? Kook is hosting a special event! All you have to do is comment on his post and send him a DM and the lucky winner gets to play with him! 

Y/N’s eyes widened and she tapped Taeyong’s thigh. He looked at her with a curious look and she glanced down. Taeyong eyes landed on the message and he looked back at her, “Are you going to do it”

“Of course I am. This is the only chance I get to speak to him.” 

“I hope you win then.”

“Don’t tell Yeri that.” 

Jungkook was annoyed that Rosé kept touching him but he knew had to be an actor tonight. He smiled at Mrs. Lee who placed more rice on his plate, “Rosé told me that you guys met at the library. That’s really sweet.” 

Lie. They met during a party and he fucked her in a bathroom. Not sweet but he knew Rosé was a good liar. He looked at Mrs. Lee and nodded his head, “She couldn’t reach for a book, I was there to help her.” 

Y/N let out a small laugh and glanced at Taeyong, “He really sucks at lying.” 

“Don’t ruin our show.” 

“You are tall, do you play basketball?”

Jungkook nodded his head and rubbed the back of his neck, “I play basketball, soccer, and baseball.” 

“Oh, wow. All-rounder, good pick Rosé.” 

“Thank you, Aunty.” 

After dinner, Y/N was the first to leave. She was walking out when she saw Jungkook and Rosé come out of the side door. Her eyes widened and she hid in a bush, curiosity was going to kill the cat tonight. 

“Thanks, Jungkook.”

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and pulled her hand out of his, “No problem. Now what do I get out of this?” 

Rosé sighed and rolled her eyes, “What do you want?”

“I want you to leave me alone.”

Rosé let out a small laugh and nodded her head, “Don’t ask me twice. After how you treated me.” 

Y/N nodded her head and looked at Jungkook, I knew it.

Jungkook scoffed, “You can continue thinking that. I have to go home.” Jungkook turned around and started walking towards his car but stopped when he heard, “Don’t forget what I said about Y/N.”

Jungkook glanced at Rosé and glared at her, “It’s my life. Stay out of it.” 

“Anyone can become beautiful if you give them the chance too.” 

Jungkook unlocked his car and got into it. Y/N watched him drive away and she raised her eyebrow, What the hell was that about? 

Yeri and Y/N sat on Taeyong’s bed with nervous looks. Y/N glanced at her phone and then at Yeri, “You do it first.” 

Yeri shook her head and pointed at Y/N, “You’ve been his fan longer. You do it first.” 

Taeyong rolled his eyes and turned towards them with his book in his lap now, “Just do it. The worst thing that can happen is that he doesn’t respond.” 

“Don’t say that because that means it's going to happen!” 

Y/N sighed but her phone vibrated and she raised her eyebrow, “Jaehyun?” She opened her messages and she smiled to herself. 

You cheated last night, I want a rematch 

It’s not my fault you're a loser! ;p 

I’m the one that showed you the game >:( 

Fine, rematch tonight 

I’ll win this time!!! 

“Are you texting Jaehyun?”

Y/N looked over her phone and nodded her head at Yeri, “Stop with that look. We’re friends.” 

“You can be so much more.”

“Taeyong, can you-”

“No, Y/N. You do it.” 

Y/N sighed and clicked on Kook’s Instagram. He doesn’t really post and when he does it’s just his computer setup or even just his day. There were no pictures of himself but Y/N knows he’s handsome, he has to be. With the way he laughs in his streams and how he goes to cafes, he’s literally the perfect guy for her. 

She sighed and looked up at Yeri, “I’m going to do it.” 

“You're bluffing!” 

“No, I’m doing it. Let’s get it over with.” Y/N clicked on the most recent picture and liked it (something she doesn’t do because it makes her feel shy). Then she clicked the small bubble sending a message, “Event...sorry this is so awkward. Thank you for posting, it makes me happy : ) .” 

Y/N tossed her phone and hid her face in her hands, “I did it! But omg I feel like I’m going to get sick. Yeri you do it.” 

“Oh, I did it yesterday.” 

Y/N removed her hands and glared at her, “We were supposed to do it together!” 

“I lied.” 

Jungkook was in his gamer room and was staring at his DM’s. It wasn’t until his eyes landed on a familiar face. He felt weird but he clicked on her profile ignoring his heart beating faster. “Y/N_Cupcake. How interesting.” He went through her profile and he felt a smile appear but he quickly shook his head. Stop feeling that way towards her. 

Y/N went to get a book from the Library when she heard snickers behind her. She turned her head to see it was Jessica and her goons. They would always bully the scholarship kids because why not? They were sad and just looking for an outlet. She rolled her eyes and continued making her way to the tall building. She ignored the footsteps but couldn’t anymore when one of them grabbed her backpack, pulling her back. 

“Going to the library because you can’t afford the books.” 

“We can easily get the books, makes things easier.”

Y/N nodded her head and gave them a blank look, “I’m sure it does. Having access to books makes things easier, what a privilege you have.” 

Jessica raised her eyebrow and poked at Y/N’s shoulder harshly, “Are you pestering me?” 

“I’m simply agreeing with you. That’s what you want, right? For me to know that you're richer and how I’m beneath you. I’m giving you the attention that is clear you are craving for.” 

“What did-”

“Jessica, at least she knows how to read. You should read the books you can easily buy.” 

Y/N looked over Jessica’s shoulder and she raised her eyebrow to see Jungkook. He stood there in his simple black shirt and his tattoos on full display. She glanced at Jessica and pushed her finger away, “Now, I have to go read. I hope you enjoy the books that you can purchase while I have to go to the dusty library. Oh, I hope there’s someone to save me from the dust.” 

Y/N turned around and started walking away as Jungkook couldn’t help himself to let out a small chuckle. Jungkook looked at Jessica and smirked, “You heard her, she needs someone to save her.” 

He walked past the girls leaving Jessica in shock. She turned towards her friends with a shocked face, “Is Jungkook dating her!?” 

“I’m not sure, the last I heard he was dating Rosé.”

“She's a homewrecker then. Girls, we have a busy day ahead of us.” 

Y/N heard footsteps and turned around with an annoyed look expecting to see Jessica but it turned to confusion, “Jungkook? Are you following me?” 

“I-I wouldn’t say following you.” 

“Then what do you call this? I have never seen you in the library but today of all days you're going.” 

Jungkook nodded his head and put his hands in his pocket, “It’s quiet.”

“Especially when you're alone.” 

“Yes, I agree.” 

She glanced to the side and gave him a small smirk, “Even those who aren’t beautiful would agree with you.” Jungkook's face fell as she let out a small laugh and she turned around but before she left his sight she glanced at him over her shoulder, “When you're talking about someone and they're in the room, next time, be quieter.” 

Y/N continued to walk and she smiled to herself when she heard no footsteps behind her. She continued to walk away as Jungkook watched her leave his sight. He let out a laugh and shook his head, “Full of surprises...” 

Y/N entered the library and she waved at Jaehyun. She happily walked up to him and glanced at all the books, “Big test coming up?” 

“It’s all for biology.”

She looked between the books and at him with a confused look, “I thought you owned these books already? Why are you at the library?” 

“To have the chance to be in your presence.” 

She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “Shut up. Did your brother take them?” 

“Yeah, so here I am. What are you here for?” 

“I need to do some research for my literature class.” 

“Boring.”

Y/N glanced out the window and she watched Jungkook talking to Taehynug. She looked back at Jaehyun with an interested look, “Your friends with Jungkook?” 

“I wouldn’t say friends...acquaintances really.”

She raised her eyebrow at this, “Acquaintances? You're a good guy, how could anyone be acquainted with you?” 

Jaehyun let out a small laugh, “He just doesn’t like me because I was talking to Rosé.”

“Talking?”

“I had a project with Rosé and he didn’t like that I was talking to her. He even punched me.” 

Y/N scoffed at this and shook her head, “He punched you for trying to do homework. How...actually it's exactly how I pictured him to be.” 

Jaehyun shrugged his shoulders and let out a laugh, “It’s nothing really. Can I sit with you?”

“As long as you know the ques to talk to me, then yes.”

“Thank god I do then.” 

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

Parties, it wasn’t Y/N’s favorite thing in the world but it did help her get out of the house and out of work. Of course, she loved helping her parents make fried rice but sometimes you just want to get drunk. She smiled at Irene who returned one, Irene was the pretty senior that all the girls wanted to date. Y/N can see why, she was kind and awkward. Adorable. 

Y/N sat on the couch with Taeyong who was drinking his heart out. She frowned at this and rubbed his knee, “I’m sure she's coming. Just be patient.” 

“It’s been too long.”

“Tae, it’s literally been thirty minutes. She’s coming, be patient.” 

Taeyong frowned at her and glanced at her, “Be nice to me.” 

“I am, I’m reassuring you. Liquid courage can help you.” 

Y/N smiled at him and stood up from the couch to get some water. As she made her way, Yeri grabbed her arm, “Did you hear?” 

“What is it?” 

“Jessica has been running her mouth about you.”

Y/N raised her eyebrow and let out a snicker, “About what? My boring life is exciting for her?” 

“It’s not boring. It’s comfortable. She’s saying that you're a homewrecker but she won’t say who the couple is.” 

“Do people believe her? The only man I’ve been around is Taeyong and everyone knows he’s in love with Seulgi…we’ll expect for Seulgi.”

Yeri let out a laugh as Y/N smiled but it dropped when she saw who was in front of her. She glanced at Yeri but Yeri didn’t dare to look at her, “Jungkook? I thought you would be at Jimin’s.” 

Jungkook shrugged his shoulders and looked at Y/N, “I was at Jimin’s but I wanted to come by. Irene asked me to visit her more, so here I am.” 

Y/N nodded her head at him with a blank look, “Here you are.” 

“Y/N, would you like a drink?” 

Y/N glanced at Yeri who shrugged her shoulders. Y/N looked back at Jungkook but kept her blank stare, “Sure. I was already making my way there until you stopped me.” 

“I’m sorry for stopping you. Yeri are coming?”

Yeri shook her head and let go of Y/N, “I’m going to check on Taeyong. Bye~.” 

Y/N waved at Yeri and then looked back at Jungkook, “Irene has had four parties this month but you come today. Are you sure you're not following me?” 

“Would you be flatter?”

“The opposite...let’s get a drink.” 

They walked through the crowd of people and Junkook placed his hand behind her back. She glanced at him over her shoulder but he kept looking straight. She didn’t push his hand away and she didn’t know why she didn’t. It was quiet between the two and she sighed to herself, “No small talk?” 

“What is there to talk about?” 

“I don’t know. You're the one that invited me to get a drink, shouldn’t you make small talk.” 

Jungkook handed her a cup of water and shrugged his shoulders, “What do you want to talk about?” 

“You can talk about the test we had in math or even lunch. Something.” 

“The math test was easy.” 

“It was.”

Y/N took a sip as Jungkook did the same, “Y/N, I saw you talking to Jaehyun.”

She raised her eyebrow and nodded her head, “Yes, I talk to him once in a while. Why does that bother you?”

“Jaehyun, be careful of him.”

Y/N let out a scoff and took a sip of her water, “Be careful? Shouldn’t I be careful of you?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Jaehyun told me. He told me you punched him for talking to Rosé all because he wanted to do his project.” 

Jungkook raised his eyebrow and turned his whole body towards her. She looked up at him and felt like he was a tower next to her, “And you believe that?” 

“I have no reason not to. Jae would never lie to me.”

Jungkook leaned down until his nose touched hers, “There’s always more to the story. Don’t believe just one side.” 

She looked at his lip ring and then at his brown eyes, “Then tell the other side.” 

“Jungkook! Are you ready!?” 

They turned their heads to see Jimin looking at them with a raised eyebrow. Jungkook let out a small cough and gave her a look that Y/N couldn’t read, “You already passed judgment before knowing my side. Isn’t that wrong of you?” 

“It’s really hard not to when I know your character.” 

“Do you really know me?” 

Y/N’s face dropped and she looked away from his stare, “I know enough.” 

“Goodbye, Y/N.”

“Bye.” 

She felt him leave but she couldn’t rip her eyes off the white wall. She felt embarrassed to be called out like that. He was right but he makes it really hard to be nice. She glanced where he walked off towards her and saw his eyes were already on hers. She didn’t look away from his intense stare, instead, she encouraged it. 

It’s been a week since Jungkook talked to her and she was feeling uneasy. She hasn’t been talking to Jaehyun and her thoughts have been replaying. “Do you really know me?” He seemed hurt by her assumptions and she was surprised to see it. He was rude to a lot of people but here he was, hurt by her words. Who is she to hurt the rich and powerful Jungkook? It actually made her sick that she was called out for her actions. Ashamed...

Y/N shut off the stove and walked out in the front room of her parents' restaurant. She saw her mother reading a letter and she squinted her eyes, “Omma? What is that?” 

“It’s from the landlord...they want us to close the restaurant.” 

Y/N’s eyes widened and she shook her head, “What? We’ve been paying every month. How can-”

“Someone wants to buy the restaurant...Appa doesn’t have the money to outbid them.”

Y/N frowned and sat next to her mother, “We’ll figure this out. We always figure it out.” 

She heard the door open and she saw Jungkook standing there with his usual outfit. She glanced at her mother and kissed the side of her head. She stood up and went to greet him with a fake smile, “Welcome-”

“Y/N, I want to talk to you.” 

She glanced at her mother and then back at him, “Now is not the time...”

“It’s important.” 

“Jungkook-”

“Did you say Jungkook? As in Jeon Jungkook?”

Y/N turned around and nodded her head at her mother, “Yes, omma-”

“Why do you want this restaurant?”

Y/N's face broke and she turned her head slowly at him, “You're buying our restaurant?” 

Jungkook looked at Y/N and shook his head, “I-I had no idea it was yours.”

Y/N let out a forced laugh and shook her head, “You're so rich that you want to buy everything in Korea. Out of everything, you buy my home. Do you hate me so much? What have I done to you? Is this payback because I’m friendly with Jae?” 

“Y/N-”

“No...I don’t want to hear it from you. Actually, I don’t ever want to hear from you again. This whole time I felt ashamed for making judgments on you but they were all right. You are selfish, prideful, and just....I can’t even put into words how much I hate you right now. Get out.”

“Y/N, please listen-”

“Out. Now.” Jungkook nodded his head and took one final glance at Y/N before closing the door. She glared at the glass and shook her head, “Of course it was him...” 

She ran into her room and shut her door. Here she was feeling bad for Jungkook, what an idiot. She fell into her bed and turned on her phone to watch one of Kook’s videos, at least then she would be entertained and not sad. Anything to forget today. 

Jungkook slammed the door making Jin look up in worry, “Is everything okay?”

“My dad's buying Y/N restaurant…”

Yoongi raised his eyebrow and glanced at Jimin who shrugged his shoulders. He looked back at Jungkook with a confused look, “Why does it matter to you?”

“Because she hates me…I can’t have her hate me. Not her. Anyone but… her.”

Namjoon stood up and walked towards Jungkook. He placed his hand on his shoulder, “You need to be honest with her and with yourself.”

“Hyung, she hates me…it doesn’t matter how I feel.”

Hoseok stood up and gave him a soft smile, “Yes it does. You can still fix this.”

Jungkook looked at Hoseok and then back at Namjoon, “You’re right. I can fix this.” 

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡

“Y/N, I’m sorry for spreading these rumors.” 

Y/N looked at Taeyong who shrugged his shoulders. Y/N was in the library studying with Taeyong when Jessica came to her. Y/N was ready to fight back with whatever she had but it was the opposite, “Thank you?”

Jessica nodded her head and walked out leaving Y/N confused. She glanced down at the table and was confused. She looked at Taeyong with furrowed eyebrows, “Do you think she’s dying?” 

“Y/N, what?” 

“Well, why else would she apologize?” 

“Maybe she felt bad.”

Y/N let out a small chuckle and shook her head, “I don’t think so...It’s Jessica.” 

“That is true but maybe she saw her wrongs.” 

“Did you see Jungkook?”

“Of course I did...He looks so good at practice.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes and harshly closed her book, “He gets praised for being an asshole while I get my house stolen because of his selfish desires.” 

“Y/N, I’m sure everything has a reason.”

“Reason or not, he’s still an asshole. I have to go, your cousin wants me to go to a museum with her.” 

Taeyong raised his eyebrow and leaned back in his chair, “A museum? With Rosé?” 

“I was surprised too but she said she’ll pay for it and that caught my attention.” 

“What is she planning?” 

“I’ll go find out. I’ll text you later.” 

The museum had a special exhibit for the students. She had never been to this museum but since someone else was paying for it, it was time to get cultured. She saw Rosé looking at a piece of art and she awkwardly walked up to her. Rosé turned around and gave her a smile, “Y/N, you're early.” 

“I had to catch the bus, better early than late with city transportation.” 

Rosé let out a small laugh and nodded her head, “Well, let’s go look around.”

“Sure.” 

They entered the student pieces and Y/N tried her best to focus on the art. It was awkward with Rosé, there was something in the air and she couldn’t decipher what it was. It made her feel nervous and she hated feeling that. She landed on a picture, it was a silhouette of a woman reading in the sunlight with flowers all around. Even though you couldn’t see her face, you could see that she was relaxed and happy. She glanced down to see the name and her eyes widened a bit, In My Dreams by Jeon Jungkook. 

“He knows how to capture a moment doesn’t he...” 

She glanced at Rosé and then back at the picture, “You look relaxed.”

“That’s not me. Can you really not tell who that is?” 

Y/N looked at Rosé and shook her head, “It’s a silhouette. How am I supposed to know?” 

Rosé let out a laugh and shook her head, “It should be called mirror now that you're here.” 

Y/N looked at the picture and she tilted her head, “That can’t be me...Why is your boyfriend taking a picture of me? Is he a pervert?” 

Rosé sighed and glanced at the picture with a small smile, “He took this picture when we broke up...he was looking for his muse and there was you. Reading with the sunlight, it was perfect.” 

“Rosé, why am I here?” 

“Jae isn’t all good...”

Y/N scoffed and looked at Rosé with an annoyed look, “Did Jungkook put you up to this?” 

“No, I saw Jae talking to you and I was worried.” 

“Worried?” 

“Y/N, I cheated on Jungkook with Jae...he promised to love me and only me but Jae left me...”

Y/N frowned at this, “Does that mean Jungkook cheated on you?”

“In a way...there was always one person on his mind. It was never me, I should’ve known but I wanted to hope he could change for me.” 

“That’s horrible of him to do.” 

Rosé let out a laugh and nodded her head, “It is. You want to know who the person was?” 

“It could be Nora, I know she-”

“It was you.” 

Y/N stared at Rosé with a shocked face and then she started laughing, shaking her head, “Probably because he hates me.” 

“The opposite...your scholarship. It’s special you know and Taehyung’s family hands them out.” 

“Yes...why are you bringing this up?” 

“Jungkook read your essay for the scholarship and I think that’s when he fell in love with you.”

“Jungkook, can you read this half?”

Jungkook sighed and leaned back in his chair with an annoyed look. For five hours he’s been helping Taehyung go through these essays. Some were good and some were, and some were funny. He only agreed because he didn’t want to help his dad with paperwork for his work. 

“How much can I read?” 

Taehyung sighed and gave him one essay, “Fine, read this one and you can take a break.”

“Can I play on your computer?”

“I just got it-”

“I can always leave.”

“Fine. Don’t break it or I’ll get yelled at.” 

Jungkook smiled in triumph and took the paper out of his hand. He looked at the paper and saw the name L/N Y/N. Every essay was different, the person could write whatever they wanted. It could be a poem, a story, etc. It just had to showcase how the person’s brain worked. He didn’t think much because so far all the essays were around pages long about their lives and struggles. He wasn’t expecting a poem.

A galaxy with no stars, a map with no direction 

Just a traveler trying to find its safe haven 

“Seek and ye shall find” 

But they never say what will find you

I used to drift away 

Never wanted to stay 

The world was too big for me

But too small for my thoughts 

If I was quiet, I could disappear 

Vanishing from the pain 

Anything to get away 

I hate the lack of control 

But I’m the one to blame 

This nightmare has consumed me 

Everything seems so real 

Even that look in your eyes 

Another day with a new dream 

Steps to enlightenment brightens the way 

But the steps are steep 

Take them one at a time 

If fear paralyzes me then hope is gone  

And this nightmare wins 

There was something with the way the words flowed and it was like he could hear her voice. She was different from all the other essays and he understood how she felt in her poem. He kept rereading the poem and he smiled to himself, it would be dumb to let her go, “I found one.”

“Rosé...why-”

“Jungkook, he tries to be an ass to push people away because he’s scared to lose them. Jae knows this, he likes to toy with him because of it.”

Y/N glanced at the picture and frowned, “I thought they were friends.”

“They were...but Jae knew how to get what he wanted from Jungkook.” Rosé turned towards the picture and frowned, “I knew he was in love with you but I just craved for something...anything really. Jae promised me he would love me and I cheated on Jungkook. I broke him because he trusted me with his secrets and I broke it.”

“Jae...he knew that Jungkook was talking to me. That’s why he wanted to spend time with me, to hurt Jungkook.” 

“When I saw you guys talking in the library, I knew what he was doing and I didn’t want you to become another victim to his game.” 

Y/N looked down at her shoes with shame, “I thought I knew Jungkook and I already had a picture in my head...”

“You knew him through other people but you don’t know him truly. I don’t even know him truly.” 

“I still can’t forgive him for buying my home but I do need to say sorry...” 

Rosé smiled at this and nodded her head, “I can tell you that Jungkook had no say in buying your home. His father makes all the deals but knowing Jungkook he has a plan up his sleeve.” 

Y/N looked up at Rosé with a confused look, “What do you mean?”

“Nothing...we should grab lunch.” 

Y/N sat on Yeri’s bed staring at her Instagram with a blank expression, “Are you sure today is the announcement?” 

Yeri nodded her head and turned to her side to face Y/N, “That’s what his Instagram story said. Maybe you won.”

Y/N scoffed at and lay next to Yeri, “With the way my life is going, I just know I lost.” 

Yeri sighed and looked at her ceiling, “I want you to win because I miss your smile.”

“If I win, I will die from shock.”

“Please not on my sheets, I just washed them.”

Y/N let out a laugh and glanced at Kook’s profile, “how do you think Kook’s personality is?”

“I’m not sure, what about you.”

“I would like to think he’s caring and kind. I bet he’s full of surprises.” 

Just then their phones vibrated and glanced at each other. Yeri smirked at Y/N, “Are you ready to see who won?

“Yeah…whoever you are, I hate you.”

They clicked on the story bubble and Y/N sat straight up in her bed, “Oh my god.”

“Soooo…do you hate yourself?”

That night, Y/N and Yeri watched past videos of Kook. That whole night, Y/N felt her heartbeat and she noticed that Kook felt familiar but she didn’t know why. Maybe it was because she watched him for a while. That’s what she’s telling herself. 

Rosé dragged Y/N and Yeri to the soccer game. Y/N knew why Rosé brought her here and she didn’t know how she felt. She hadn’t seen Jungkook since he was at the restaurant and honestly, it felt like she was seeking out for him. Every time she went to the cafeteria she would hope to catch a glimpse of him but alas nothing. She didn’t know what she wanted to hear from him but she just wanted something from him. 

She watched Jungkook make a goal and she couldn’t stop the smile appearing on her face. Rosé glanced at her and smirked, “You're smiling.” 

“Our team is winning...who wouldn’t be smiling at that?” 

“You because you hate sports but here we are.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes and she turned back to be locked on Jungkook, “I have no idea what you're talking about.” 

Jungkook looked into the audience and his eyes landed on Y/N. They both stared at each other until his coach called him and the stare-down was broken. She couldn’t forgive Jungkook for buying her home but deep down, she just wanted him to talk to her. 

After the game, Rosé brought Y/N down to the field and everything felt slow motion. Jungkook walked up to her and Y/N waited for him by the gates. She smiled at him and looked down at her shoes, “Good job at winning.” 

“I felt a boost of confidence when I saw you. You hate sports so it's an honor that you came by.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes and looked up at him with softness, “I saw your picture...it was beautiful.” 

He stiffed and rubbed the back of his head, “You saw that? What do you think?” 

“I like the flowers. It’s peaceful. What does it mean? The title...” 

Jungkook grabbed Y/N’s hand as they stared at each other with softness, “In my dreams, you're there with me with flowers around us. That’s all I want...”

Y/N glanced down at his lips but then at his doe eyes, “I-I...Jungkook.”

“I know...I just needed you to hear it from me.”

She glanced down at his tattooed hand with a frown, “Jungkook, I’m sorry. I judge you wrongly.” 

“It’s okay at least you know me. That’s all I wanted before it was too late...maybe it is too late.” 

Y/N looked up and felt the warmth left her when he removed his hand, “I-”

“Jungkook, the coach wants us!”

Jungkook glanced and nodded his head at his teammate. He looked back at Y/N and gave her one final smile, “I’ll see you later.”

“Yea-Yeah, I’ll see you later.” 

Y/N watched him leave and she couldn’t remove her eyes off of his back. She felt sick to her stomach and all she wanted to do was cry on her pillow. Why is life so complicated?

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡

Today was the day that Y/N was going to play a game with Kook. She couldn’t believe that this was finally happening. For years she dreamed about this and it was finally happening. The couple of months have been the worst in her life but now she can forget it for an hour or two. She entered the room for Minecraft (something she thought was strange for him but she ignored it) that Kook sent her. 

She entered the room and she looked at the screen with confusion. She was surrounded by flowers and it looked like someone took out all the trees. It was just flowers until she saw a sign. She walked up to the sign and read it closely, “Y/N, I’m sorry for everything that I have put you through. Please come downstairs.” 

Her mouth dropped, “No fucking way.” She pushed her chair away and ran down the stairs as fast as she could. There was a knock at the door and she knew in hindsight this was pretty suspicious but she knew who it was. She opened the door and he stood there looking at her with his doe eyes, “Kook?”

Jungkook smiled and even with him being soaked from the rain couldn’t stop his smile, “Y/N.”

“What the fuck is going on?”

“I have so much to tell you.” 

“Sure, my parents are out right now. Come in.” 

They walked in and went to her room to have privacy. They sat on her bed (with Jungkook sitting on a towel) and she couldn’t look him in the eyes. He knew had to make the first move, “Your restaurant is homely.” 

“Thanks, we tried our best. It won’t be ours anymore.” 

“That's what I wanted to tell you.”

She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, “What?”

“I bought the restaurant...I’m your landowner and as your new landowner, I request no rent. Just live here and be happy.” 

She let out a laugh and shook her head, “What are you going on about?”

Jungkook turned towards her and grabbed her hands, “My father wanted to make this into a high-class restaurant. I told him he couldn’t do that, I saw potential in it, I told him. He said then it’s all mine or it’s going back to the previous landowner. I bought it because I knew this was your home and I wanted you to be happy.” 

“I-I have no words. You did this for me?”

“I would do anything for you.” 

“Did you tell Jessica to say sorry to me?”

Jungkook let out a laugh and nodded his head, “I did. It was pretty easy to convince her.” 

She smiled and rubbed his knuckles gently, “You picked me for the scholarship...”

“Rosé told you?” 

“She did...she also told me that...she told me that you're in love with me. Kook, I need to hear it from you.”

Jungkook leaned forward and placed his forehead on hers, “I-I’m in love with you...I was a selfish asshole in the beginning because I wanted to push you away. I realized that I couldn’t do that anymore to you nor myself. I love you, L/N Y/N. If you don’t feel the same, then say it.” 

She smiled and looked down. Silence encased around them and he couldn’t help but laugh. She looked back at his face and tilted her head. She gave him a quick kiss, “I feel the same...you were a selfish asshole. I’m glad we can agree on that.” 

He rolled his eyes and pushed some hair behind her ear, “Full of surprises.” 

“You did all this for me and never told me...”

“I was scared to tell you. You hated me, remember.” 

“For good reason.” 

He shook his head and chuckled, “Yes for good reason…can I have permission to kiss you?”

“Permission granted.”

He glanced down at her lips and she smiled at the softness in his eyes. She nodded her head and he leaned forward placing his lips on hers. The rain that was hitting her window became silent and the only thing that they felt was each other. His lips molded against hers with slowness making her head spin from the passion. It wasn’t until she felt his tongue against her lower lip, Oh, Jungkook. She parted her mouth and he made his way inside. He tasted like banana milk with a hint of chocolate, it was addictive. She knew she was in trouble. 

When they pulled apart, their foreheads touched as he pushed some hair away from her face. She placed her hands on top of his and frowned, “You’re hands...they're cold.” 

“I don’t feel cold when I’m with you.” 

She rolled her eyes and admired his face, “Should I warm you up?” 

His eyebrows raised and he was taken aback by her mischievous look, “Can you?”

“Is that a challenge, Mr. Jeon?” 

“Always is...especially with you.” 

She gently wiped water from his face, “Careful...you look like you're in love.” 

“Then I’ll get injured. It will be worth it.” 

He brought her into another passionate kiss but it was different from the first kiss. A soft moan slips from her throat and is swallowed by his lips. She clung to him, fingers curling at his gray jacket as he sucked on her tongue. She let out a small whimper when he gently bit her lip. When they parted, she couldn’t look away from him. Jungkook brought up his thumb running against her spit-soaked lower lip, he was captivated by the hazed-out love-drunk look on her face.  

“Do you want to continue?” 

“I would be stupid to say no...and stupid is not what I am.” 

He let out a laugh and pushed up her shirt. She quickly raised her arms and he tossed the black shirt over her head. She let out a small laugh at his eagerness but it was quickly wiped away when she saw the lust in his eyes. She was grateful that she didn’t wear a bra at home. He palmed against her breasts and squeezed them gently before his mouth replaced it. Softly moaning his name as her hands were brushing through his hair. 

His tongue flicked against her sensitive nub making her buck against him. He smirked at the effect he had on her. He gently pushed her on the bed and her head was against her pillows, looking at him with patience. She looked beautiful. Her hair sprawled out with all her little moles begging him to continue. Her stretch marks were his map that he couldn’t help but follow with his fingertips. She was a masterpiece that even he couldn’t afford on a good day. 

“What?” 

He rubbed her stomach gently and shook his head, “Nothing.” 

He gently removed her sweats and was met with a thin fabric. He stared at it for a second before tossing it with her shirt. Y/N felt his hands brushing over her ankles, her knees, and then her thighs while feeling his tongue sliding against her skin. She felt him kiss the inside of her thighs and she looked away with shyness washing over her face. She let out an unsteady breath when she felt his hot breath between her legs. 

“Jung-Jungkook.” She gasped out loud and her head whipped back to look at him. He placed his hands on her hips. 

He looked up and saw her flushed face and he smirked but then realization hit him. Was she inexperienced with this? He was going to show her that all the other guys she was with before were missing out on the greatest masterpiece. 

“Relax, I got you.” 

“Oh fuck...” She was squirming underneath him, the overwhelming sensation was taking over her. “Jung-Jungkook...please.” She wasn’t sure what she was pleading for but everything was overwhelming in a good way. 

Suddenly he added a finger and Y/N melted against him. Her fingers were gripping on the sheets and his hair, “I..I...Oh.” She breathed before he added another finger and the sensation of his tongue swirling around her clit was making her go crazy. 

Everything hit her. She was breathing loudly and he watched her face scrunched up. Jungkook slowly moved himself on top of her with a proud smirk. He saw the dazed state she was in and kissed her neck. Tasting the saltness while she was breathing loudly. 

“Are you okay?” 

She glanced at him and brought him into a kiss. He let out a groan when he felt her sucking at the tip of his tongue. She pushed him away and bit her lip, “I need you.”

“Need me for what?” 

She rolled her eyes and unzipped his jacket, tossing it at her pile of clothes. She glanced at his tattoos and gently traced them with her fingertips. She knew many hated his tattoos but she saw it as her map. A map that was filled with adventure and color within her black-and-white life. It was the most beautiful art piece she had ever seen. She was going to keep it from the public the best she could. 

“I need you inside of me.” 

“Can’t argue with that.” 

Jungkook took off his jeans as she leaned towards her nightstand taking out a condom. When he was done, he leaned back on top of her, kissing her slowly while she brushed her hands over his biceps. He slid his hand down the valley of her breast and then cupped her between her legs, making her buck against him, “You ready?” 

“Mmmm....”

He turned them around and she was on top, placing her hands on his chest to push herself up. Her eyes widened at the change but it quickly washed away, “Perfect.” 

“Oh..shit.” He groaned at the feeling and leaned forward nipping at her neck while helping her set a pace. She arched her back, moving up and down. His hands slid towards her ass, grabbing onto the cheeks, pushing himself deeper. 

Jungkook couldn’t take it anymore because of the eagerness he had with her. He suddenly grabbed her and slammed himself deeper inside of her. She moaned out his name and held onto him as he quickened his pace. Her nails digging into his tattooed arm. 

“Y-Y/N...shit.” 

Jungkook felt her clenching around him and he couldn’t hold back anymore. Groaning as he came and fell on top of her, both of them breathing loudly. She looked up at him and saw hair sticking to his forehead and she smiled. She pushed the hair and gently traced his face, “I-I love you.”

“I love you more...so much more.” 

.*･｡ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡

“Hey guys, it’s Kook. I’m going to take a small vacation since it’s the holidays but enjoy my top moments of 2023. I’ll see you next year! Happy New Year and drop a like if you laugh.” 

Y/N smiled at her phone and she sat on the couch, “Babe, do you want chicken?” 

“That sounds good.” 

Jungkook came into his living room and tilted his head, “What are you watching?” 

She let out a small laugh and looked up at him with a mischievous look, “My favorite Youtuber...” 

“Well, I hope he knows that I’m your favorite everything.”  

“I guess...” 

It’s been three months since their relationship. Her parents were shocked that she was dating him but after she explained everything to them, they saw him in a different light. Everyone at school was surprised to see Jungkook with someone like Y/N but no one questioned him (except Jessica). 

Rosé and Jaehyun became the new couple of the campus. Rosé didn’t have a choice to be with Jaehyun after the news got out that she cheated on Jungkook. She didn’t want her image to be ruined, so she settled with him. Jaehyun on the other hand was upset that Y/N was with Jungkook. He even tried to fight Jungkook but lost that fight. Jaehyun didn’t love Rosé the way he loved Y/N but Jungkook isn’t going anywhere. 

Taeyong and Yeri hated Jungkook at first but they started to like him slowly. Y/N wanted to tell them what Jungkook had done for her but he wanted to earn their likeness now. Jungkook even helped Taeyong with Seulgi while he helped Yeri with her classes. It was a sweet scene to see. 

Jungkook’s parents were indifferent to her. She was expecting that considering she was normal. Jungkook tried his best to get his parents to like her but she stopped him. It wasn’t worth it. If he loved her that’s what matters. 

Y/N glanced at Jungkook and raised her eyebrow, “What?”

“I can’t admire you?” 

“No...gamer boy. You can’t.”

He leaned forward placing a kiss on her lips, “I’ll always admire you...my favorite masterpiece.” 

[1moreff-creator]

Is there some type of masterpost for all the crazy hidden stuff for Despair Time? like the hidden quotes, the Mai stuff, a comprehensive guide to LGI?

Well, there’s been a few really useful posts over the years. There’s the Secret Quotes, “All you have to do…” Page, Mai Quotes, About Page Text masterpost by despairing-disaster, which I must have visited 15000 times; accirax’s episode guide is a great resource even if it’s not exactly what you asked for; and at the risk of sounding a bit arrogant, I think my Mai post and my full LGI analysis video “A Full Vivisection of the David MV” are good for their respective subject, though they're more analysis than "masterpost". But, for the purposes of having it all in one place, here’s my

DRDT SECRETS MASTERPOST

Spoilers up to and including CH2 EP16

-About Page Text

The source code of DRDT's About Page holds (or held at some point?) the following text:

“You don’t understand, do you? I used to be like you. I barely remember, but I used to be like you. I cared so much about people, I cried everytime someone was hurt. I suffered for a long time stuck in here caring about people." "I know what you’re going through. You’re going to hold on as long as you have, with hope that you can make it out of here with everyone. Then you’re going to despair. That lasts a while, too." Then you’ll get bored. Like me. And you’ll wish you were still suffering. Anything else is better than boredom. "I wish I could feel something, anything else, other than being bored. I’m stuck in here for eternity, and I know everything that could possibly happen. I know how everyone reacts to a murder, what makes people turn to despair, what fills people with hope and make them survive until we all run out of food and starve to death." "I wish I could feel terrified, or afraid, or angry. But I can’t anymore. I don’t feel anything at all except boredom." Do you understand, Teacher? "This is why I’m letting you suffer as long as possible. Because it’s better than the alternative." I’m sorry. I don’t envy you. You’ll understand eventually.

(Note: The quotations marks are placed exactly as they are in the code, but the importance of this is debatable)

-Secret Quotes

Quotes hidden in the source code of each character’s personal page. Ordered here by the order in the cast list.

Teruko: It is an equal failing to trust everybody, and to trust no one at all. Xander: survivor guilt(n): feelings of guilt for having survived a catastrophe in which others died. Charles: If you forgot it, then it probably wasn’t important to begin with. None of those memories should ever be kept, anyway. Ace: I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Arei: Because that’s what friends do. Rose: In the end, the only thing I can do is watch my wretched life go on. Hu: I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live. Eden: You can’t go back, no matter how hard you try. Levi: I always believed that a person is defined by their actions alone. But maybe that’s just a poor excuse for my heartlessness. Arturo: You hated them, but even that doesn’t justify what you did. Min: I wanted to save you. David: I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. I wish you could just die. Veronika: Once something is broken, it can never be pieced together in quite the same way again. The same goes for people. J: Please don’t call me your daughter ever again. Whit: We tend to idolize the dead. Nico: Why should I own up for the mistakes that someone else made? MonoTV: Her name is Mai Akasaki.

-"All you have to do..." Page

By using MonoTV's quote to get the name, typing in https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/maiakasaki into search shows a page with this text:

“All you have to do is ask for my hand, and I’ll give it to you. Ask for my life, and I’ll give it to you as well. Don’t apologize for asking. I’ll give you my forgiveness too.”

(Bolded text highlighted for reading comfort)

Source code hides the following text:

“Are you still searching for a secret? For some explanation that will satisfy you? There’s no answer I can give you that will make you happy. Maybe I should have lied instead. I’m sorry.”

The bolded letters in this page gives you the code AOAVIEPKRO, which when typed in the same way as Mai's name (https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/AOAVIEPKRO) gives you the linked Mai Akasaki character page (you can also just Google it nowadays).

-Mai Quotes

Entering the Mai page displays, at random, one of the following quotes. The source code gives them an order and relates them to a specific character. Ordered here in the same way the code does it.

Teruko: Some years ago, she was searching for someone named 'Teruko Tawaki.' Charles: A girl who loves her family. Rose: She remembers everything that is important to others. Arturo: A girl who sees the beauty in everyone. Levi: A girl with a floral tattoo on her arm. Whit: A girl with many friends. Eden: She kept calling the number, even though no one picked it up. J: She kept it a secret, and told no one. Hu: A girl who wanted to keep everyone safe. Nico: Everyone confided in her. Ace: A girl who had a bright future. Arei: She doesn't like it when her friends fight. Min: An average girl with nothing special at all about her. Xander: She couldn't stand to do nothing. Veronika: A girl who didn't foresee the consequences. David: She forgives everyone. MonoTV: It's all your fault.

-Second Anniversary Secret Code

There are two columns, one with letters, a dot, apostrophes and spaces, across from the other, with numbers. By rearranging the "rows" in order (1-2-3...), you get "It's all your fault." (Dot included).

-Character Playlist

At one point, dev uploaded a playlist of sixteen songs, where each one was meant to be connected to one of the characters in some way. The playlist has been privated/deleted, so here’s a recreation made by venus-is-thinking. Below are listed the songs in the order they show up in the playlist, although it’s unclear if the order means anything or they’re completely randomized. I find the latter more likely btw.

-Diamond is Unbreakable from Jojo's Bizarre Adventure OST -Sing Along by Sturgill Simpson -RUNAWAY by half•alive -cartoons by Louie Zong -asymptotic by Louie Zong, Unofficial Extended Edit by Axolotl Dreams -アイアルの勘違い (A Mistaken Belief of Love) by Niru Kajitsu, cover by yama -春嵐 (Shunran) by John -イヱスマン (Yesman) by NILFRUITS, covered by Noristry and カケリネ (Kakerine) -アンデッドエネミー (Undead Enemy) by Suzumu and Giga-P, covered by 松下 (Matsushita) -Drawing Pins by Nothing but Thieves -ハイファイ進化論 (Hi-fi Evolution Theory) by 稀雨 ("Rare Rain") and ふぁるすてぃ (Farusti) -tip toes by half•alive -ポリゴナル (Polygonal) by ふぁるすてぃ (Farusti) -Spitfire (05 Version) by The Prodigy -desk rotation by HALLEY LABS -Good Grief by Bastille

******

Literature Girl Insane

Naturally this gets a whole section for itself. That said, I will ask that you watch Vivisection (linked above) for every visual detail, piece of text, color connection theory, language theory... basically everything that wouldn't be considered a puzzle or a code in some way.

-Footnotes

Numbers which appear attached to certain parts of text, which are referenced in the video's description to give them extra meaning. Refer to this post for images of all the footnotes, as well as a first impression analysis.

[Footnote Number] Description Text -> Text it's attached to in the video. [Time of appearance and link] {Notes}

[1] In this situation, it is better to use full names over nicknames. Exclude our protagonist—he is not “that person.” -> Now [1:22] {Crosswords puzzle}

[2] Other examples include Drosophila melanogaster and E. coli. -> an albino mouse, arabidopsis. [3:02]

[3] From Title 17 of the United States Code. -> A “derivative work” is a work based upon one or more preexisting works, such as a translation, musical arrangement, dramatization, fictionalization, motion picture version, sound recording, art reproduction, abridgment, condensation, or any other form in which a work may be recast, transformed, or adapted. A work consisting of editorial revisions, annotations, elaborations, or other modifications which, as a whole, represent an original work of authorship, is a “derivative work”. [2:18] {Tumblr why did you remove yellow you're fucking up my color scheme}

[4] The practice of avoiding the number four; it is most common in East Asia. This superstition arises from the fact that the number four can be read similar to the word “death” in multiple languages. -> subtract 4, due to tetraphobia [1:46]

[5] As the translation has been intentionally botched in many parts, it should not be considered accurate. -> (translation needed) [3:10] {The text is "(translation needed)", not that I need a tanslation :v}

[6] (Prayer) -> 🙏 [2:02] {Extremely small and almost invisible, bottom right of the hands}

[7] Seven is considered an auspicious number in many Western cultures. Let's just skip it. -> Mind [2:41]

[8] ‘Tut, tut, child!’ said the Duchess. ‘Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.’ -/> N/A. This footnote cannot be found, as it is not in the video. [N/A]

[9] no respect for the classics smh -> So sing a degraded copy [2:07]

[10] The Roman numeral for 10 is X -> X [2:00] {Very small, top right of X}

[11] I admit to lying. There is no one named ••••• •••••. I am, and always have been, an only child -> suspicious gaps [1:32] {Still no idea what the hell is going on here}

[12] “Majority rule” is known to be the fairest method of making decisions for a group. That’s why murderers never complained when we voted for them to die -> Tallying votes… [2:02]

[13] 正 -> correct [2:40] {Refer to "Tally 5" for further information}

[14] Hint: word length of 256 -> = [3:52] {Refer to "Footnote 14 Puzzle" for further information}

[15] “Ignorance is bliss” is an idiom used to say that it is better to remain ignorant about certain harsh truths, in order to avoid causing oneself stress. The expression comes from a 1742 Thomas Gray poem (“Ode on a Distant Prospect of Eton College"): “Where ignorance is bliss, 'tis folly to be wise.” -> Remaining ignorant, isn't that "happiness"? [1:47] {Again excuse the lack of yellow}

[16] While it was originally intended to serve as a military march, today it is most commonly recognized for its association with circuses and tomfoolery. -> [sheet of music] [2:49] {The song referenced is "Entry of the Gladiators," so it's presumed that's what the sheet shows. I couldn't find an exact match, but online sheets look similar enough}

[17] Not a real word. Can't be found in any dictionary. -> Democratic-ly [2:00]

[18] A/N: soz not very good at drawing flowers lol!!! -> dandelions (weed) [3:04]

[19] A dialogue between two individuals that serves as a discussion of moral and philosophical issues. -> Will you forget what you've done, I wonder? [3:42]

[20] It is considered by many to be outdated, providing little-to-no insight on human nature. -> The Kübler-Ross model postulates that those who experience grief go through a s[] of five consecutive stages: [1:53]

[21] Deriving from the Latin phrase “Et cetera” : meaning “and other (similar) things”, “and so forth”, or “and the rest (of such things)” : abbreviated to etc., etc, et cet., &c. or &c -> etc. [3:48]

[22] The rest is silence. -> [4:21] {This footnote shows up on its own on a black screen, that's why there's no associated text}

-Roman Numerals

The crosswords attached to footnote 1 can be completed in the following way, attaching each character (minus David plus Mai) to a numeral.

Below are all the numerals, listed in numerical order. Refer to this post for images.

[Numeral] [Character] Text it's attached to *Background text* *Other background text* [Time stamp and link] {Notes}

[I] [Xander] (the world of abnormal sentiment dances) *I have always looked up to you* [3:50] {Refer to "Footnote 14 Puzzle" for further information}

[II] [Rose] Ego cogito ergo (turbatus) sum [1:34] {Translation: I think therefore I am (disturbed)}

[III] [Charles] If you doubt brittle things are broken *And now here’s my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye* [1:37]

[IV] [Arei] Right now, why do you cry? [1:39]

[V] [Ace] Right now, why you go insane? *A cat has 9 additional lives* *I am but mad north-northwest. When the wind is  southerly, I know a hawk from a handsaw.* [1:42]

[VI] [Arturo] mind exercises 1 2 3 4 [2:41]

[VII] [J] Do it like that, let’s live together! *The Moral La[w] causes the people to be in com[plete accord] with their ruler, so that they wi[ll f]ollo[w] [him] regard[less of] their lives, undis[mayed] by any danger* [2:10]

[VIII] [Nico] even if i try to think, idk!!! [2:44]

[IX] [Levi] look, aside from that, give me the usual medicine *[Extract from a scientific paper on Shoemaker-Levy 9]* [2:46]

[X] [Min] Democratic-ly *In the case of a murder, all survivors must participate in a class trial. During this trial, everyone must discuss and vote for one of the remaining participants as the "blackened" murderer* *👈👈* *👉👉* *🙏* [2:00]

[XI] [Mai] God is dead [1:48]

[XII] [Eden] ???: But you're in my way, aren't you? [2:28]

[XIII] [Teruko] or *Only the eyes belied this assumption. They were small, deep set and crafty. Not only that. As the man, making some remark to his young companion, glanced across the room, his gaze stopped on Poirot for a moment, and just for that second there was a strange malevolence, and unnatural tensity in the glance* *Those are the terms. To exchange all the goodness and grace of every life in Omelas for that single, small improvement: to throw away the happiness of thousands for the chance of happiness of one: that would be to let guilt within the walls indeed.* [1:55]

[XIV] [Veronika] Things like substance of the arts *subtract 4, due to tetraphobia* [1:44]

[XV] [Whit] Remaining ignorant, isn't that "happiness"? *subtract 4, due to tetraphobia* [1:46]

[XVI] [Hu] ???: Go and cry. [2:27]

Windings

At 0:35, windings text flashes on screen. It's the beginning of Never Gonna Give you Up by Rick Astley. Yep.

-"What is the most important thing?"

To this day the best answer we have to this is replacing each question mark with the corresponding letter of "RESOLVE." If you find something else, please tell me.

-Bullet-Finding

The MV tells us to find six bullets, but if you look at the top left book, it says "(hint: no you can't)" Here are the five bullets which can be found.

-Morse Code

At the end of LGI, the following Morse code flashes on screen.

-.-- --- ..- / … - .. .-.. .-.. / -… . .-.. .. . …- . -.. / .. -. / -- . / -.. . … .--. .. - . / . …- . .-. -.-- - …. .. -. --. / .. .----. …- . / -.. --- -. . .-.-.-

-… ..- - / - …. .- - .----. … / .--- ..- … - / ..-. .- -. - .- … -.-- --..-- / .. … -. .----. - / .. - ..--..

.. / … .. -- .--. .-.. -.-- / -.-. …. --- … . / - --- / -… . .-.. .. . …- . / - …. .- - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. .. -.. .-.-.-

.- ..-. - . .-. / .- .-.. .-.. --..-- / .. .----. -- / .. -. -.-. .- .--. .- -… .-.. . / --- ..-. / -… . .. -. --. / … --- -- . --- -. . / .-- .. - …. --- ..- - / -.-- --- ..- .-.-.-

Which translates to:

YOU STILL BELIEVED IN ME DESPITE EVERYTHING I’VE DONE.

BUT THAT’S JUST FANTASY, ISN’T IT?

I SIMPLY CHOSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DID.

AFTER ALL, I’M INCAPABLE OF BEING SOMEONE WITHOUT YOU.

-Footnote 14 Puzzle

(Solved by y-prime) (Apologies if I get any of the technicalities wrong, I'm not good with codes)

After Numeral I flashes on screen, you get a bunch of numbers, followed by an ampersand (&), more numbers, an equal symbol (=) attached to footnote 14, and a bunch of question marks. Footnote 14 is "Hint: word length of 256," and 256 is 2^8, which is 8 bits in binary. This tells us we need to get a binary code using the bitwise AND (&). If you're uninformed, I was too, but basically, & first transforms decimal numbers into 5 digit binary, giving the next values:

14631484268173741020143036451175923368636278930404923743082436772069705217326 -> 10000001011001001000000110101001101001011101100110010110101000111100010110110001110111011000010111100111110011001000001110110011101111011011110110101101100101011101000010100001110101011101000010000101111100111011110011000011111001111111110111010100101110

43607886503718811525798764321686495628071353085956330717581498375291444100526 -> 110000001101001001100000110100001100001011101110110010100100000011010010110110001111111011000010111100101110011011100100110110101101111011011110110101101110101011001110010000101111101011100000010100001110100011011110110000001111001011011110111110110101110

Note: The second value is actually 255 digits long in binary, the first is 254 (don't- do not ask me how this happens, it's what the decoder gave me). Arbitrarily, you have to delete the first 1 from the second value.

Then, & compares each number in the binary, and returns 0 if at least one of the values is 0, or 1 if both values are 1. This gives you:

10000001001001001000000110100001100001011101100110010100100000011000010110110001110111011000010111100101110011001000000110110001101111011011110110101101100101011001000010000001110101011100000010000001110100011011110010000001111001011011110111010100101110

Which is 254 characters, you need 256. Arbitrarily, add two 0s at the beginning of that final code. When converted from 8 digit binary to text, you get "I have always looked up to you."

(I hope you appreciate the detailed explanation it took me hours to figure out what y-prime did they're so much better at this than me T_T)

-Tally 5

(Originally solved, to my knowledge, by anderscim)

Although originally we weren't meant to share the solution, I think over a full year after the video, with Part 2 fully out, the embargo is surely over by now.

On the books in LGI, there is a QR code which takes you to https://danganronpadespairtime.tumblr.com/tally5. This page has only a text box where you can input text, and a title asking "Was I correct?"

The "Was I correct?" connects this to the "correct/incorrect" scene attached to footnote 13, which itself is 正, a Chinese symbol which can mean "just" or "correct." Additionally, this is a way that people in eastern countries tally up sets of five, the way you might see someone use something like 卌, which connects it to the infamous "tally5" URL.

Transcribe the text, and separate it in sets of up to five characters (hence the whole "tally 5" thing), and ignore line breaks (the end of line two has four at the end, completed by the d in row three. I more or less followed the line breaks for visual clarity). Pick the first number of each set, as highlighted below.

3aqxw 97pkt c8uki 458fb dpfoa cllex 2f07b f8mg2 4b4mp fx2a(d) c6v3f 5yhxj d8i7s f1l31 2zaj5  1azet 47jod 5jcze c5mvb 6bz2o 59r14 3sf2p e916s czen7 emvbl 55ehe 9iqb2 708tt 83482 c8tw3 c77gn 47ojc a634g bcfz0 0l6s6 47wwl akcn4 6bre1 e0eam 9

Provided you've done everything correctly, you should get39c4dc2f4fc5df2145c653ece5978cc4ab04a6e9. Put that in the "Was I correct?" text box and you get the following image (you will most likely only see the top part, but copying the image and pasting it elsewhere shows the text at the bottom as well):

I became a villain in pursuit of your dream.

I threw away my humanity for an ideal I couldn't understand.

But I don't regret it. To "regret" is to imply that I could have done anything else.

I never told you, but the truth is, I wasn't capable of ever becoming human in the first place.

So in the end, you are always-

****

-Notable Visual Details

This part is mostly subjective. If you feel something shouldn't be here or I missed something, it's because these are just the details I personally consider noteworthy, or I forgot to add something (I'm open to suggestions here). Also I'm ignoring LGI in this section otherwise I would need 15000 screenshots.

+Fork Fun

(From left to right: Pre-prologue scene of bloody hands, Xander's eye wound from the Trial 1 investigation, Eden CG from CH2 Ep13. The first shows a bloody fork on the table, Xander's eye wound is consistent with a slash of a fork, and Eden's hand is bloody, holding a fork)

+Teruko's Mystery Voter

(Voting results in each trial so far. Teruko received two votes in T1, and one in T2)

+Camellias (Unnamed Classmate and Mai connection)

(Left: Mai profile, her tattoo. Right: Bonus episode 2. Same flowers)

+Matching tattoo? (Teruko and Mai)

(Left: CH2 EP2 Teruko changing, a small black line can be seen on her left arm, similar to the stems of the flowers of Mai's tattoo. Right: Jacket off reference, a question mark is shown besides Teruko's left arm)

+Matching phone charms (Teruko and Mai)

(Left: Teruko's Monopad, CH2 Ep1. Right: Unnamed Classmate's phone, from Bonus Episode 1)

+Drawing on Teruko's Floor

(A drawing which appears on the floor of Teruko's room in CH2 EP3, and disappears in CH2 EP7)

+Whit's Hand Behind the Back.

(After the cast learns the elevator won't open after Levi gets shot, Whit pulls out his unhinged sprite, where he has his hand behind his back. Personally I don't find this important, but I'll feel stupid if it is and I didn't add it, so)

+Thanatophobia: Names on the graves.

(From left to right: "Elliot Cuevas", "Felicity Giles", "Taylor Riley." I promise it's easier to see when Tumblr doesn't compress the images. This is the main series way we get the names of Charles' brother, Arturo's sister, and Ace's old friend)

+(AltDRDT) Teacher's ID Card

(Transcript: "This ID card is the property of Hope’s Peak Academy. Use of this ID card by any person other than the rightful holder is prohibited. Report lost or stolen ID cards by contacted 555-483-7367.")

+(AltDRDT) XF and Min's matching pin.

(Yep, matching tie pin. Btw, Min doesn't have it in her Bonus Episode or the Sleepy MV. Did she only get this at the start of the killing game?)

-Potentially Important Posts

Nothing "secret," per say, but a compilation of some of the posts the dev has made which I consider to contain important information.

-CH1 QnA.

-Bonus Episode QnA.

-2 Year Anniversary (Already mentioned).

-Jacket off Reference (Already mentioned).

-CH2 PT1 QnA. Note: Certain answers were deleted. Here's a reblog with some of them, and below is a screenshot of a particularly interesting answer which was not saved by any reblog.

-Teruko's Brother Back Reveal (4 year anniversary).

---

That's everything I currently remember for now. If you feel I missed anything, feel free to tell me about it! I'll try to edit this post to remain up-to-date with all the insane stuff in this series.

Anyways, hope that's enough for the ask! Thanks for giving me an excuse to make this!

[animamii]

highschoolsweetheart!Eren always asking you out to school dances by performing a Justin Bieber song for you.

It all started in Freshman year biology, the two of you sharing earbuds plugged into your phone. You have your liked songs on shuffle. All basic stuff, some Kanye, My Chemical Romance, The Weeknd. Just things you knew anyone, including Eren, would enjoy. Nothing you'd be embarrassed to play, none of your guilty pleasures. That is until One Time by Justin Bieber starts to blast through the headphones.

Me plus you...

Your cheeks flush, eyes widening as you look straightforward. Refusing to turn to look at Eren, who you can see out of your peripheral vision already looking at you with a smug smirk on his face. A soft snort leaves his nose, and you can feel your face getting hotter and hotter.

"Didn't know you were a Belieber, y/n," he teases, eyes still locked onto the side of your face. You take a deep sigh, your eyes shut as you slowly turn to look at your best friend.

"I grew up listening to him, Eren. Like every other little girl. I'm not a damn Belieber," you muster out, chest still tight from the embarrassment. You knew the situation wasn't that serious, but you and Eren had this will they, won't they situation that you didn't want compromised by your preteen music taste.

"Sure, you aren't," is all Eren says with a snicker and playful shake of his head as he continues to do the classwork. In all honesty you thought he would egg it on even more, continuing to tease and pester you over having 2000's teen pop sensation Justin Drew Bieber in your playlist. But no, the green-eyed boy drops the subject and forgets about it altogether.... right?

A couple months later you sit with your friends at lunch. Sasha downing her burger and school milk as Historia fills you in on some gossip, Ymir chiming in with her pessimistic opinion every so often. All you do is nod and listen, laughing at every snarky remark Ymir adds. The quad is littered with students, at lunch tables, walking around and talking with friends.

"Heyyy y/n please don't hate me for this, but I have to do this or else I'm getting my ass beaten or eaten," Connie shuffles to your lunch table, a good-sized speaker in his hands as he sits in on the table, turning it on.

"Do what??" You ask cluelessly, brows furrowed as you watch Connie plug in his phone and throw a thumbs up at someone. Your eyes follow his gaze, to Jean, who is standing like a damn weirdo next to something hidden out of your sight. Jean nods at Connie and gives a thumbs up back, to which Connie nods back as he presses play on his phone.

"What the hell are these boys doing?" You mumble to yourself until you hear it. That dun, dundun followed by adolescent vocals. Your face turns white, all color drained as you hear young Justin Bieber singing. Turning to Connie, you look at him with that 'What the fuck is going on?!' look he was so used to. All Connie does is nod his head to where Jean stands, with Jean giving you a shit eating grin and a wave. He turns to say something to someone next to him, some kind of signal. And there he is.

Eren freaking Yeager, dressed in a damn gray button up, opened with a black shirt underneath. And somehow some damn purple shoes, just like Justin in the Baby music video. With so much energy he jogs out into the middle of the quad, arm out to you as he lip syncs the opening verse. just shout whenever, and I'll be there. With every word he does the accompanying choreography, which has you wondering just how much effort this boy put into his little stunt. Shuffling his way over to you, his smirk grows as he sees your pink blushed cheeks that you try to hide as you cover the smile that starts to form.

"We're just friends. What are you sayin'?" He places his hands on your shoulders as he sings to you, people in the quad starting to stop and stare as he does those flashy music video jumps and hops Justin does. Ymir points to you two, her laughter drowning under the loud music from the speaker, Connie next to it as he nods his head to the beat and hypes up Eren. Soon Ludacris's part comes on, Eren turning around for a split seconds before spinning to face you once more, sunglasses now on his face as he raps along.

By the time Eren launches into Ludacris's verse, the entire quad has erupted into cheers, laughter, and even a few people pulling out their phones to record. His enthusiasm is nothing short of infectious. He’s moving with the confidence of a boy who knows exactly how ridiculous he looks—and doesn’t care one bit. Anything for you, right?

“Eren, stop!” you shout, though your voice is laced with laughter, and your hands are desperately trying to cover your face. But it’s no use; everyone is staring, and Eren is unstoppable. He drops to his knees dramatically, sunglasses barely clinging to his nose, and grabs your hand like he’s in a cheesy rom-com.

“When I was 13, I had my first love!” he belts, holding your hand up like he’s about to propose. The crowd goes wild. For a glimpse of a second he smirks, a devilish idea popping into his adolescent mind. He starts peppering kisses from your hand and up your arm, causing the girls watching to squeal a bit.

Your friends are no help. Sasha is choking on her burger from laughing too hard, Historia is clutching her sides, and Ymir has fallen over onto the bench, howling like this is the best thing she’s seen all year. Connie is doing some kind of two-step next to the speaker, hyping Eren up like a DJ at a concert. And Jean is just proud that all the practice had paid off, he would have been livid if Eren didn't do what he had taught him.

By the time the song wraps up, Eren’s out of breath but still grinning ear to ear. He tosses his sunglasses aside with a flourish and takes a low, exaggerated bow in front of you. “y/n,” he says loudly enough for the whole quad to hear, “will you do me the honor of being my date to the dance?”

Your face is burning hotter than the sun, but you can’t help but smile. The entire school seems to be waiting for your answer, the chants of “Say yes! Say yes!” growing louder by the second.

“Fine,” you say, trying to sound exasperated, but the grin on your face betrays you. “But you’re lucky I don’t die of secondhand embarrassment before then.”

The quad erupts into applause and cheers as Eren pumps his fist in the air like he just won the lottery. “Let’s gooo!” he shouts, and Connie cranks the volume up for the final chorus of the song, with Eren dramatically singing along one last time. He keeps his arms around you as he sways the both of you back and forth, the biggest grin forming on his face as you start to voluntarily move along with him. As the song ends, he places a sloppy kiss to your cheek. You groan, burying your face in your hands, but deep down, you know you’ll never forget this moment—or Eren’s goofy, fearless way of making you feel like the center of the universe.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿

Def gonna make another part to it, didn't know if it was too long or nott. Thought just popped up into my head and I was craving some Eren fluff.

[querenciasturniolo]

OKAY NO, “favorite” was insanely good. If you wouldn’t mind, could you please write a part 2 for this fic? Maybe their flirting before something finally happens or maybe another car video with them already dating but no fan knows?

oops ⮕ c.s.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: swearing

summary: chris slips up, and the secret’s out

a/n: i’m so glad you liked favorite !! i changed the idea just a little bit 🤏🏻 but i hope you like it !!! 🤞🏻

{i’m not the biggest fan of this, but that’s okay. i might rewrite this at some point, but who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️}

everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.

part one || part two

Before you realized what was happening, Chris Sturniolo had made his way into your heart and stayed there.

The few months after the Q&A video was posted, the two of you continued keeping in touch. You talked to Nick and Matt of course, but Chris was incredibly persistent on answering quickly and asking you questions about yourself. It was only a matter of time before the two of you finally got together.

It had been almost a year since that video, and eight of those eleven months you’d been with Chris. The two of you decided early on to keep your relationship a secret from the fans, but with each video you did with them, more edits of Chris looking at you the way he did nearly blew the secret.

You thought it was funny, how he couldn’t control the way his eyes scanned over you like you were the only thing on his mind. It wasn’t just Chris, though. Nick keeping the bit of you and Chris admitting to be each other’s celebrity crush and favorite triplet in the video didn’t help things, either.

Your new single had only been out for a few weeks, and every single interview consisted of the same question.

“Fans have been speculating that your new single, Rare, is actually a love song about Youtube star, Chris Sturniolo. Is this true?”

You’d laugh and shake your head, your chest aching and your heart pounding as you said the same thing over and over again.

“I think the interpretation of music is up to the listener. If the listener wants to believe this song is about Chris, that’s okay. If they want to believe it’s just a love song I wrote for fun, that’s fine too. I personally was inspired to write about the feeling you get around someone who’s important to you.”

The interviewer would then fake laugh along with you, and thankfully change the subject. You hated lying to your fans, and just lying in general, but it was nice to have something private. You wouldn’t mind going public, persé, but you’d need to talk about it first to make sure he was on the same page.

Chris had spent the majority of his time at your apartment when you were in LA, and any time he wasn’t there, you were at their house. One of those times was right now, Nick and Matt sitting next to you on the couch and watching a show you had absolutely no interest in. Chris had his head in your lap with his eyes facing the screen, your fingers carding through his hair absentmindedly as you pretended to pay attention.

Suddenly, Chris sat up and turned to face you, his hair sticking up in different directions and his eyes wide.

“We should go live.” He suggested, Matt and Nick glancing over from where they were sitting with furrowed eyebrows.

“Why?” Matt asked, reaching for the remote and pausing the show.

Chris shrugged his shoulders and pulled his phone out, glancing at you unamused and running a hand through his hair to fix it. “Why not? We aren’t doing anything anyway.” He said, tapping the Instagram icon and sliding over to go live. He propped his phone up on the Pepsi can on the coffee table and rested his head on his hand. Comments started pouring in almost immediately, many of them about the fact that you were on the couch next to him.

After a few moments of silence, Chris glanced over at the three of you with his eyebrows raised. “Are you guys just going to sit there like bumps on a log, or are you going to join me?” He said, your eyes rolling as you scooted more into frame, Nick and Matt grumbling as they stood up and followed suit. Nick sat on your other side while Matt sat on the other side of Chris, all four of you now looking at the comments flooding in.

Y/N WHO IS RARE ABOUT?????

You chuckled and shook your head. “Rare is a song I wrote about how it feels to be around someone who makes you love yourself.” You said, your answer vague as you noticed the way Chris’ fond eyes flickered to you on the screen for a split second before going back to scanning the comments.

well that’s one way to answer a question i guess

it’s about chris confirmed

idk, the verse about someone with bright eyes like stars seems to scream chris

Nick scoffed and looked at you. “How many times have you been asked that?” He asked. You shrugged your shoulders.

“About ten thousand, but I don’t mind. It’s sweet that people want to know. It’s a happy song, they just want to know why.” You said, Nick pursing his lips and humming noncommittally before looking back to the phone.

The live went on for what seemed like ages, the four of you replying to as many comments as possible, the rapid rate of which they were coming in made it near impossible to read. After a while, Matt pulled out his phone and started scrolling through Tiktok, his volume low and his eyes flickering between his phone and the live.

“We filmed our Wednesday vlog today, it’s one of my favorites so far.” Chris said. “No hints as to what it is, but I hope you guys like it.”

Matt snorted at whatever was playing on his phone, nudging Chris’ shoulder for him to look. He did, his eyebrows furrowed and his tongue between his teeth as he watched. You and Nick continued reading the comments, laughing and responding to a few before Chris guffawed and covered his mouth with his hand at whatever Matt was showing him.

He grabbed Matt’s phone out of his hand and held it in front of your face. “Babe, look at this!” He said, all four of you freezing in place as you registered Chris’ words. Before any of you could react, comments started flying in immediately, whether they were keyboard smashes or just consistently repeated ‘I KNEW IT’s.

“End the live.” Nick mumbled, all four of you reaching for the phone at the same time and knocking it off of the table.

“Shit!” Chris shouted, scrambling for his phone and desperately jamming his thumb onto the screen to end it. It was no use—his live had crashed, and his screen was frozen on the image of all four of you staring wide-eyed at the camera seconds after Chris’ slip up, comments still pouring in at an impressive rate, each comment blurred. In a last ditch effort to fix it, he turned off his phone and dropped it into his lap.

The four of you sat there in silence, the tension in the room thick enough to cut with a knife. You finally turned your head and met Chris’ eyes, his face frozen in a wince.

“Oops?”

The silence only lasted a few more seconds before you completely lost it, hysterical, raucous laughter bubbling out of you as you clutched your stomach. The three of them joined in soon after, the four of you near tears as the reality of what just happened set in.

“How did that even happen?! We were doing so well!” You said through your laugh, Chris shaking his head and wiping at his eyes.

“I don’t even know, it just came out.” He said, the four of you finally calming down enough to catch your breath. “I mean, at least we don’t have to hide it anymore.”

You pulled out your phone and opened Instagram.

“Well, there’s only one thing left to do.” You said, Chris leaning into your shoulder as he watched you create a post. “Help me pick one.” You said, scrolling through your photos before he tapped one. You had taken it ages ago, but it was still your favorite picture the two of you had taken together.

“What should the caption be?” You asked, Chris raising his eyebrows at you and scoffing.

“What do you think?”

You rolled your eyes and typed the lyrics out, making sure to tag Chris before posting the photo and locking your phone.

“And now we wait for the uproar.” You said, Chris chuckling and pressing a kiss to your temple. Nick groaned dramatically, catching both of your attention as he pushed himself off of the couch and headed towards the kitchen.

“Oh God, if you guys are going to be all mushy now, could you at least give a warning?” He said, though you could tell he was only teasing. Your phone screen kept lighting up, notifications pouring in from Instagram.

“Well, it’s out there now, I guess. You’re stuck with me.” You said, Chris rolling his eyes as he wrapped an arm around your waist and lightly leaned his weight onto you.

“Yeah, I guess I am.”

don’t keep your distance, i’m not scared

i’m not gonna fight this, baby you’re rare

[velvet-vox]

Why King Candy has been so underrated and misunderstood for a long time (Still is, but to a lesser extent)

(All the images in this post come from the video linked below)

Hi everyone; so, usually, I'm not a trend chaser, in fact, I completely missed out on the hype of the Murder Drones finale by not releasing something for the occasion, as I have been very busy this past couple of months, and still am, but I've decided to make a special, out of program post just for my new current hyper fixation, that being King Candy from Wreck-It Ralph, who, for the past couple of weeks, has slowly risen up to become my third favourite Disney movie villain of all time.

And all of that, as some of you might have guessed, happened because I watched @king-crawler 's two hour long video essay on the character and the movie that he comes from.

Needless to say, just like many others before, it inspired me to add my own two cents to the conversation, and talk about some points that I haven't seen mentioned anywhere else.

This is probably the only Wreck-It Ralph related analysis that I'm ever going to make.

I even thought about scrapping this whole analysis, because midway through development I thought that I was just spewing out nonsense, but I kept going because some of my points may give food for thought to someone who understood this character way better than me.

I may reblog some analysis/art posts of this character, but I'm not going to turn WIR into a staple of my blog; however, if I see a lot of people in the comments or the reblogs adding stuff or points to my arguments, I could always make a sequel post to this one.

But first, I need to get something out of the way immediately.

Spoilers below the cut if you never saw this movie, kind of important, as it is the movie's major plot twist:

King Candy is Turbo.

Who's Turbo? Watch the movie.

With all that said, enjoy the read, I'll now elaborate on the meaning of my title, also, here's the video in question; I highly encourage everyone to check it out, as it is a way better sequel to Wreck-It Ralph than the one who was lost in the depths of Lake Laogai:

Clarifications:

Wreck-It Ralph is an amazing movie, but one for which I've never had much to think about.

Don't get me wrong, I always considered it to be the smartest Disney movie ever made since my first watch, but I saw it for the first time relatively late, after I had consumed other Disney movies as childhood classics and other crossover movies featuring video game characters, so it never had neither a nostalgia nor hyper fixation factor as reasons as to why I should have put the story under a microscope after that.

Also, as Rando says at the beginning of their video, it is not a movie that blew me away after my first watch. Or the second. Or the third.

Why is this section important? It is important because these are my subjective opinions of the movie, which are unfortunately going to subtly influence what I'm about to say in one way or another, regardless of me trying to speak from a place of supposed "objectivity".

I'm really passionate about this world now thanks to Randomalistic, but you won't get the same vibe from this post as you would get from one made by long time fans of this movie.

Ok?

Good.

Next:

King Candy/Turbo has always been... in a weird spot for me.

Just like the movie where he comes from, I never really cared about Turbo until a month ago, despite always feeling like I should have loved him a lot more, especially since Deltarune chapter 2 released a while ago, and the character of Spamton G Spamton is someone for whom I have very strong feelings about; and Turbo, in a technical sense, is literally the spiritual predecessor of that guy (actually, Turbo is the spiritual predecessor of a lot of similar characters, he kinda was ahead of his time).

If I had made a Disney tier list for their movie villains, a completely subjective one for that matter, I would have put him in A tier, but thinking that he should have gone in B tier... while also feeling like neither were appropriate placements for him.

Randomalistic's video finally helped me fall in love with the character; so much in fact, that it got me thinking:

"Damn, if Turbo is actually this amazing of a villain, why was(is) he so underrated and overlooked by general audiences, when he admittedly is, in my opinion, one of the best Disney villains of all time? Frollo is by and large considered the best villain out of any Disney movie, and the HOND was nowhere near as successful as Wreck-It Ralph when it first released, so it can't just be a matter of first impressions (?). Maybe there are other factors, that stop audiences from recognizing Turbo as the Magnum Opus of villainy that he truly is..."

... And that's exactly what I'm going to discuss!

Let's get right into it.

The minor stuff.

First things first:

He's ugly. I'm sorry to all of the people who ironically and unironically simp for him, but that's a design only a mother could love.

On a serious note, KC and Turbo's designs always felt... not very eye-catching to me? (The bug form is excluded from this conversation)

I'm not saying these are bad designs, far from it; but each form has on them a certain amount of design decisions that, by the authors own decisions, make them unappealing to a viewer like me (I'm using myself as reference point because the topic that I'm talking about is inherently subjective).

Starting off with King Candy, is design has to balance a lot of different aspects simultaneously: it has to be eyecatching, so that the viewer can pay attention to him as an antagonist, and believable enough so that the watchers buy the fact that he is the King of Sugar Rush and not someone else, but it also has to be generic and fake enough so that it can later on add up to the fact this is just a performance, a facade, a ruse, a costume, and not the real character, it also needs to be friendly enough so that the audience can be manipulated together with Ralph into believing that he actually is a good guy;

I could go on and on listing off all the amazing things, that the King Candy facade pulls off simultaneously, but exactly because the design has to feel real and fake at the same time, it also, by proxy, ends up feeling weird, and that inexplicable sentiment can end up alienating the viewers who are watching the movie and the ones who have finished consuming it without thinking too deeply about what the meaning of the KC's facade actually was.

In the case of Turbo's design, all the people working behind the movie did such an amazing job making him look as scary, ugly, alien, and deranged as possible, all the while keeping him relatively PG friendly; the result clearly paid off, but Turbo's ugliness is not as slick as the likes of Ratigan's, nor is it as nightmarishly horrifying as the Other Mother's.

The most nightmare fuel qualities of Turbo's design are hidden out of plain sight, which is basically a recurring theme with his character.

To put it in a funny way, his looks neither end up in the conventionally attractive territory that most other Disney villains fall into, nor do they grab the attention of the Monster Fu###rs crowd.

I have zero things to say about the Cy-bug form, but I do have a section later on where I talk about that entire scene in and of itself.

All in all, it might just be me, but the first impressions of this character's design don't really do him any favours when it comes to his popularity.

I now love both designs, but before, they just didn't click with me, and I think some other people might understand what I'm talking about.

Admittedly, I could have explained this section better, but these were mostly my personal opinions and they are not really important in the grand scheme of things, unless somebody else agrees with me, in that case I'd have to take a closer look at the situation.

Second of all:

The marketing.

To be honest, I feel like what really elevated all of the most iconic Disney villains into pop culture status was a joint push from the company and the artists to include these characters into more stories and products.

Like, sorry to all of the Oogie Boogie fans, but that character is barely in his movie and doesn't do a lot, and he wouldn't be nearly as iconic as he is if Disney didn't use him again multiple times after his first debut.

And the same can honestly be said for all of Disney's most popular villains; they got used multiple times in multiple different projects, that either kept them mostly the same, changed them with some unique twists (that change in quality, but that's up to you), expanded on their preestablished characters, or put them into unique situations that showcased just how versatile they are.

Kingdom Hearts, The House Of Mouse and Descendants are very obvious examples of what I'm talking about, but even appearances in lesser known stories like Lady Tremaine in Cinderella 3, Captain Hook in Jake and the Neverland pirates, or the entirety of Disney Twisted Wonderland help solidify these characters as pop culture icons;

All except Frollo.

Frollo is the only one whose hype and cultural recognizability wasn't built up by the company or the media in which he was featured, but by the fans of the original movie.

And despite Disney almost never used that character ever again after his debut, he, his movie, and Hellfire still get a lot of prise and are talked about classics to this very day.

Because Frollo is just that freaking awesome.

Turbo, on the other hand... is barely in anything.

Let's get the most obvious stuff out of the way first: King Candy is a relatively new character, released in an era where Disney was slowly starting to integrate the new, corporate ideals that we see today.

All of the villains that I've mentioned previously already became tried and true successes by that point, so even if the company doesn't care about having good villains anymore they still use their likeability because it has already shown in the past to bring in audiences.

It's also the main reason as to why Mother Gothel is used so rarely: King Candy, as the last truly great Disney movie villain (excluding Tamatoa, who's barely used anyway, and movies not produced by their main animation studio), arrived at a point in time when the company wasn't pushing for their villains anymore, and instead actively sanitized some of them in their new stories (you know what I'm talking about); therefore, Turbo, being actually incredibly dark on second look, and with no actual intention of tuning him down like Jafar because he hadn't already reached the iconic status by that point, had no reason to make any big appearance ever again or be paraded around as much.

There are some more reasons as to why Turbo likely doesn't have more stuff dedicated to him, like the fact that he is technically 3 characters at the same time, but I don't want to prolong this section too much.

So instead, how about we take a look at some of his other appearances outside of Wreck-It Ralph?

Let's see...

He has various cards in Lorcana, which is his most recent appearance, mind you;

He became a playable character in the 7th season of Disney Speedstorm, a game where I was hoping he would be the main villain, due to a variety of reasons, but hey, that's perfectly fine;

And he was mentioned multiple times in Disney Heroes Battle Mode, a game where he hopefully is the secret main villain, as it would pay off a large amount of story and design decisions chosen for that game, but it's probably just wishful thinking and unless the game's plug is pulled, I doubt we'll see him anytime soon.

Ok, it's more than nothing, but it's also not that special if you ask me.

But hey! At least he got a boss fight in a Kingdom Hearts game! That's more than Randall can say! He was a major boss in Union Cross... the mobile game... that you can't play anymore... and since KH adheres strictly to its own canon most of the time, it also probably means that we'll never get to play through the storyline of the first WIR in any future mainline game, and we're more likely to see a world based around the second movie instead.......

Yeah.

That seems to be it, unless I'm missing something huge (feel free to let me know).

This section is important because Cruella De Vil became one of my favourite Disney villains of all time not after seeing her in the original movie, but after I saw her in 101 Dalmatian Street, a niche show that almost nobody knows; so other medium appearances are important to these characters popularity, especially when not all of these villains are Frollo.

ALSO, PLUS 1+, I was originally going to cut this point, but I decided to add it anyway: the Italian voice actor.

After recently rewatching this movie in English, (I'm Italian, we in Italy translate the movies to our language because it's easier than learning an entirely different language for them), I have to really admit that Alan Tudik's voice performance really does a lot of heavy lifting for the character's memorability.

This is not to say that the Italian voice dub sucks or that King Candy's Italian voice actor does a bad job, in fact, the voices are actually quite similar to each other, it's just that Alan's performance has that small edge of hidden bitterness that really brings the character together; though I do prefer Turbo's Italian voice for its twist reveal: the more raspy, heavy tone of the actor really highlights the vicious, alien nature of his character, as well as the sense of dread that Vanellope is feeling in this moment; I encourage you to give it a watch.

Again, this is extremely minor, and it really only affects me specifically, but don't worry, it's not going to have influence over the rest of this post.

These were just additional points and not the actual meat of my argument, so now I'll start discussing what I actually wanted to talk about from the very beginning:

Who is he?

I think that one of the main reasons as to why Turbo is so underrated is because we spend way less time than with most other Disney villains (before him) to know him as a person.

Think about it:

Most other Disney villains, or at least the most popular ones, all have moments where they are doing nothing to progress the plot, that are dedicated solely to get us to know them better.

Hades has several moments with his minions to show off his personality and anger, Jafar has silly little moments with Iago that show off his depravity, Maleficent has talks with her crow that make her more dynamic, Ursula has her introduction scene where she spies on Ariel and does nothing but talking, and Captain Hook... has 30% of his screen time dedicated to just that.

Heck, Hellfire, one of the most iconic sequences in all of Disney, is just a character set piece for Frollo, and it's arguably completely disposable, as it doesn't really do anything to progress the story, it just explores Frollo's character in deeper depth and that happens to make the big difference when it comes to him.

King Candy doesn't really have an obvious character centric moment, something easy for the audience to quickly latch onto: every time we see him, he is always doing something to push the plot forward.

Yeah, there's that small character interaction with the Donut cops when he gets glasses, and other small moments here and there, like the would you hit a guy with glasses joke, but nothing truly character-defying.

I also don't count King Candy's first scene as a character centric moment, as that's more of an introduction rather than an elaboration, but it is technically valid, even if it ultimately is just a facade that he puts up to serve his needs.

Speaking of which: the fact that most of what we see of Turbo throughout the story could be entirely fake is definitely something that I could use to make the argument in this section stronger, but I'd rather save it up for later.

Also, side note:

I think that the moment most dedicated to him only, to show off a different, "true" aspect of his personality, is when he is walking back and forth in the castle waiting for his cops to show up again.

This moment is so interesting on rewatch, as it is one of the few moments in the entire movie where I can safely say that Turbo is being 100% genuine and isn't putting up any facade whatsoever, as there really is no benefit to him appearing distressed in this situation.

In general, it's funny to think that Turbo's most genuine reactions are of fear.

Back to point one, do you wanna know why Maleficent was given a crow in Sleeping Beauty? The reason as to why was for her to have someone to bounce off, a way for the writers to showcase more facets of her character, and while Candy has Sour Bill, the movie never uses the relationship between the two to show off a different aspect of his character.

To be clear, I'm not saying that Turbo is a worse character than these other Disney villains, or that without these moments of calmness he doesn't work, one great example

Do you know that Calhoun in early development had a camouflage ability, meant to highlight how she hides her feelings but was scrapped because it made her harder to relate to? Well, let's just say that Turbo's entire character is a What If scenario where that idea actually went through.

It's a double edged sword: King Candy is so interesting because he is so mysterious and surprising all throughout the movie, but exactly because he has to be so mysterious, he is not a character as easy to understand as some of the other villains from the company; it's incredibly easy to miss out on just how cruel he is and the full scale of all the damage that he has done.

I, AM, .......the twist villain.

There's also something to be said about how popular to the conversation the twist that King Candy is Turbo became.

Everyone loves this reveal, am I right?

It may not be the best moment in the movie, but my god if it isn't hype, all thanks to the music, the lighting, the setup, yada yada yada....

But the identity reveal scene is to Candy what the Genocide Boss Fight is to Sans: it's the most impactful moment about his character, to the point where it becomes the entire baseline where most discussions are built around, which, more often than not, lead a lot of people to overlook other things about Turbo.

Let me explain: how many analysis videos have you seen where the person making it talks more about the setup and subtle hints present in King Candy's earlier scenes that slowly build up to the twist and less about the events happening in it?

The reveal is amazing, don't get me wrong, but if Rando's video didn't come along to dive deep into King Candy's earlier scenes with the twist already in mind, the true impact of what Candy had been doing throughout the entire movie up to this point would have been lost on me, and I can imagine someone else feeling the same, as me, casual enjoyer of WIR, have been conditioned to think of Candy more for his well planned out surprise, rather than for how that surprise makes the character more engaging (I hope this makes sense).

I also want to mention this video ranking all the different twist villains from Disney and Pixar where CellSpex says that the Turbo twist is useless, since the movie doesn't do much with it afterwards.

Now, aside from the fact that CellSpex is clearly in the wrong and she's missing the point, I think this lack of reconsideration highlights that casual viewers care more about the Turbo plot twist than they care about Turbo himself.

But honestly, I don't believe people focusing too much on the twist is that big of a problem, more so, the problem stems when you want to use the twist... to discuss something else.

Now, I think it's perfectly fine if you want to use Turbo to explain why other Disney twist villains don't work, but when the villains that King Candy is compared to the most are Hans, Yokai, and Bellwether, you kind of start to think that he is only the best of the worst, and not an actual amazing antagonist in his own right.

It may not be a message that was intended to be sent, but it is something that may subconsciously cling to someone's brain, especially when you consider that there might be a huge audience of people who watch these videos because they saw Hans in the title (wishing for the video to bash him), and have seen Frozen, Zootopia and Big Hero 6, but have never seen Wreck-It Ralph in their lives, and they get all their knowledge of Turbo from them.

It's exasperating, especially when King Candy has way more in common with renaissance Disney villains than contemporary ones.

Yes, through technicality, he is a twist villain, but he's more so a hybrid antagonist to be honest.

And even worse than people just grouping up Candy with a bunch of morons, as I've just discovered by reading a comment from this Turbo Tribute, is that some people apparently despise him for starting the Disney Twist villain trend: even if he's leagues better than his competition, the simple fact that you can attribute some of the blame for the fall of villainy onto him, is enough for someone to despise him.

King of the Cy-bugs (feat Rockotar):

Very recently, I've rewatched Rockotar's video analysis of the first Wreck-It Ralph, and when he arrived at the "Welcome, to the Boss Level!" scene, I decided to analyse all the possible reasons as to why he (and possibly many others, such as, admittedly, myself) wasn't as entranced by it as basically any other scene from the movie, who he had been praising non-stop up until this point.

And I think I understood why: aside from the fact that this scene is only a setup for Ralph's sacrifice (and I wished the actual boss fight to be longer and more creative), the Boss Fight is less of a climax for Ralph's journey and more so a character study for who Turbo/King Candy is.

In my opinion, this is the closest we ever get to a "villain at rest" moment with Turbo because in every other scene of the movie, King Candy is always doing something, he's always active and we never see him doing anything that doesn't coincide with his role.

And, paradoxically to what I've just said about this being a "villain at rest" moment, in this scene, he is still doing something and being active in the plot, only that this time, instead of advancing the story, he's holding it back from its conclusion.

This scene simplifies Turbo's character to his most bare bone essentials: he's a short-tempered jerk, a power hungry murderer, a virus; it's all pretty interesting stuff once you take a sweet moment to break it down.

However, there's a point that I briefly mentioned before that I want to bring up; this creature that we are laying your eyes upon, is now three different people all at once, King Candy (anxious, quiet and manipulative), Turbo (short-tempered, competitive and spiteful), and now this Cy-bug hybrid.

To reiterate what I've said before, if you don't think about it for long enough, you aren't going to understand who either character is exactly.

Because that's the big thing: all of his facades, implied development off screen and reactions are so well constructed that at certain points, it feels like we're following two different characters simultaneously, which fits perfectly with the narrative that so called "real" Turbo died and now he's no longer himself, but...

I'm scratching the bottom of the barrel to bring up other possible points as to why this character is so underrated, and the lack of a clear identity seems like a pretty obvious thing to me.

But that's only two out of the three characters I mentioned; we need to take a second look at the Cy-bug form, who, in many ways, is simultaneously the thesis and antithesis of his character.

In particular, there's one thing I want to consider:

There's this theory made by somebody else that says Turbo, upon getting eaten by the Cy-bug, didn't take over the animal's conscience and control his body, instead, upon eating King Candy, the Cy-bug took upon himself his mannerisms, meaning that, according to this theory, neither King Candy nor Turbo technically survived the encounter.

If we accept this theory as true, then that means that even during what is supposed to be a character study, the character that the movie is highlighting may also be just as fake as the act that was put up until this point, meaning that, in a sense, we never saw the real Turbo in the movie.

He was three people at once.

(Yes, I've been spamming this image everywhere, and I'll keep doing so because I can)

In Conclusion:

Turbo is, ironically and unironically, an incredibly subtle character, and that makes it extremely easy for a lot of people to overlook and miss out on the most subtle details and characteristics that make him truly exceptional;

Him being so deceptive and mysterious helps and hinders his popularity, as some either love the mystery surrounding him, others fail to get a good grasp on who he truly is and become disinterested.

He is, by design, a building block, a puzzle to be solved, a character to piece together, that makes him so much fun!

But also, if you aren't interested in putting the pieces together, then he may not be up everyone's alley.

I definitely feel like the best thing that @randomalistic did in her/their video on Wreck-It Ralph was create an easy jumping point for new fans/casual watchers of the movie to get insanely invested over the story and characters;

I'm sure it was incredibly easy for many other people like me to focus only on the most talked about aspect of Turbo, aka the plot twist, and overlook all the other things that were not as much in your face as that; I was blinded by the spotlight, and it made it hard to see the genius that was put everything else;

Now, thanks to Random highlighting King Candy's cruelty and repulsive behaviour, my favourite thing about Turbo is how he weaponized the "disability" of a child to marginalise and persecute her, discriminating her for it all of her life WHEN HE'S THE ONE WHO MADE HER "DISABLED" IN THE FIRST PLACE.

This man, is so HORRIBLE, and he deserves to be publicly exposed for all the heinous s##t that he did, not just for being the best of a bunch of villains who frankly he shouldn't even be attempted to be compared to.

Anyway, I hope someone had fun reading this. I definitely felt like I started to write this with some really good ideas that I wanted to share, but in the end, I feel like they weren't all that interesting to begin with.

Feel free to share your own opinions, and have a great day!

[catedemia]

study tips i wish i knew sooner !

these are a few of techniques or study habits which have proved to work for me, personally, i faced challenges such as:

getting overwhelmed with the study material

not knowing the best way to take down notes while i studied

not being able to remember what i studied

not knowing where to start

therefore, if you relate to any of these things, this post just might help you !

★ this post is divided into 3 sections

PLANNING

STUDYING

RESOURCES

a summary of this post: (read below for detailed explanation)

— go thru your syllabus and previous year question papers, mark every topic asked ans prepare those topics first. create a summary sheet for each chapter and use study resources.

1. PLANNING

— go thru your syllabus

it is important to simply your tasks down to the nth so as to avoid getting overwhelmed with the material. for this it’s best to go thru your syllabus and understand what is expected of you from the course. this helps in not feeling shocked and alienated when you immediately jump into the studying the first module and all the information hits you like a truck

— go thru your previous question papers

get your previous years’ question papers and go thru the questions asked. simultaneously mark the topics in your syllabus and after going thru all the questions you’ll see that certain topics get asked more and certain questions are often repeated — you have yourself a study guide !

— make a study schedule

get a calendar and mark the dates leading to your exams or tests. schedule one subject for two days each and try to cover as many modules possible. i personally try to cover 4 modules in two days as i focus on the study guide i created (as talked in the above point)

2. STUDYING

— first try to finish all the topics from the study guide

understand the concepts and topics you have marked in your syllabus so you are prepared on the topics asked previously on the exam which oftentimes gets repeated. with this out of the way, you won’t be overwhelmed with fear of not having anything prepared at all

— finish a topic and teach

this is one of the methods that helps me understand the concept easily. teaching someone out loud makes me focus on the material solely and allows me to catch any information i may have missed to include. you can teach it to a friend or i personally teach it out loud to nothing or myself or to a plushie

— create a doc or write down important notes of each module

after finishing each chapter/ module/ unit, make a note of the important information and the the topics you need to work on again or simply make a doc of everything you learned and use it as a summarised sheet of that particular chapter you can glance at

3. RESOURCES

— notebook lm

turns your notes into a podcast of two people

— xmind

for making mind maps or brainstorming

— watch other people be productive

i watch youtubers like yoora jung, to get into the zone of being productive and studying efficiently. feed your brain media which motivates you to study and use social media to your advantage. look at this post of mine where i mention two study instagram accounts which post motivational videos.

[commodorez]

What is the appeal of vintage computers to you? Is it the vintage video games or is it the programs? If so, what kind of programs do you like to run on them?

Fair warning, we're talking about a subject I've been passionate about for most of my life, so this will take a minute. The answer ties into how I discovered the hobby, so we'll start with a few highlights:

I played old video games starting when I was 9 or 10.

I became fascinated with older icons buried within Windows.

Tried to play my first video game (War Eagles) again at age 11, learned about the hardware and software requirements being way different than anything I had available (a Pentium III-era Celeron running Windows ME)

I was given a Commodore 1541 by a family friend at age ~12.

Watched a documentary about the history of computers that filled in the gaps between vague mentions of ENIAC and punch cards, and DOS/Windows machines (age 13).

Read through OLD-COMPUTERS.COM for the entire summer immediately after that.

Got my first Commodore 64 at age 14.

I mostly fell into the hobby because I wanted to play old video games, but ended up not finding a ton of stuff that I really wanted to play. Instead, the process of using the machines, trying the operating system, appreciating the aesthetic, the functional design choices of the user experience became the greater experience. Oh, and fixing them.

Then I started installing operating systems on some DOS machines, or playing with odd peripherals, and customizing hardware to my needs. Oh, and programming! Mostly in BASIC on 8-bit hardware, but tinkering with what each computer could do is just so fascinating to me. I'm in control, and there isn't much of anything between what I write and the hardware carrying it out (especially on pre-Windows machines)! No obfuscation layers, run-times, .dlls, etc. Regardless of the system, BASIC is always a first choice for me. Nova, Ohio Scientific, Commodore, etc. I usually try to see what I can do with the available BASIC dialect and hardware. I also tend to find a game or two to try, especially modern homebrew Commodore games because that community is always creating something new. PC stuff I focus more on pre-made software of the era.

Just to name a few examples from a variety of systems: Tetris, terminal emulators, Command & Conquer titles, screen savers, War Eagles, Continuum, video capture software, Atomic Bomberman, demos, LEGO Island, Bejeweled clones, Commander Keen 1-3, lunar lander, Galaxian, sinewave displays, 2048, Pacman, mandelbrot sets, war dialers, paint -- I could keep going.

Changing gears, I find it funny how often elders outside of the vintage computing community would talk about the era I'm interested in (60s-early 90s). [spoken with Mr. Regular's old man voice]: "Well, computers used to be big as a room! And we used punch cards, and COBOL!" I didn't know what any of that meant, and when pressed for technical detail they couldn't tell you anything substantial. Nobody conveyed any specifics beyond "that's what we used!"

I noticed that gaps remained in how that history was presented to me, even when university-level computer science and history professors were engaged on the subject. I had to go find it on my own. History is written by the victors, yeah? When was the last time a mainstream documentary or period piece focused on someone other than an Apple or Microsoft employee? Well, in this case, you can sidestep all that and see it for yourself if you know where to look.

Experiencing the history first hand to really convey how computers got from point A to B all the way down to Z is enlightening. What's cool is that unlike so many other fields of history, it's near enough in time that we can engage with people who were there, or better yet, made it happen! Why do you think I like going to vintage computer festivals?

We can see the missteps, the dead-ends, the clunkiness, the forgotten gems and lost paradigms, hopefully with context of why it happened. For the things we can't find more information on, when or documentation and perspectives are limited, sometimes we have to resort to digital archeology, and reverse engineering practices to save data, fix machines, and learn how they work. The greater arc of computer history fascinates me, and I intend to learn about it by fixing and using the computers that exemplify it best, and sharing that passion with others who might enjoy it.