#I HOPE IT HURTS

[oyaji893]

I really don't feel good

[cryptidbait]

Dragonbreath Mouthwash 🔛🔝

Happy Early Halloween 🤭

[zazi-the-bread-toad]

[ It's your fault, Curly, it's your turn to take responsibility ]

[batchilla]

Instructions for all my followers who voted for trump if any

1. Block me.

2. Fuck off and die.

[chryseiswriting-blog]

“The Ravens are dropping like flies!”

Neil ‘oops, I killed that one’ Josten: “oh noo” ☹️

[str4wberryartz]

Take responsibility.

"I hope this hurts"

[honkshoomimimil-o-l]

Repost bc I didn’t like how they were floating

[cyber-corp]

Finished Mouthwashing tonight I NEED to talk about this game and its themes with someone or else I will explode

[ladykissingfish]

*at Kakuzu and Hidan’s wedding*

Konan, dancing with Hidan: This is really a beautiful thing, Hidan. This place is absolutely gorgeous!

Hidan: It is nice, ain’t it?

Konan: I have to admit, I’m surprised that Kakuzu would spend so much. I mean I know it’s your big day, but considering how frugal he is …

Hidan: I thought that too, but he insisted he’s making all the money back, and then some. 

Konan: I wonder how …

*over by the buffet table*

Kakuzu, quietly, to Sasori: My thanks, Sasori. A most sublime wedding gift.

Sasori: I still fail to see how my injecting all of the food with laxatives is beneficial to you, Kakuzu. I —

*Deidara walks up, holding his belly*

Deidara: Oi, Kakuzu … I don’t mean to be rude but I think something might be wrong with the food. My bowels are on fire, hm! But when I tried to go into the bathroom, the toilet paper dispenser had a lock on it!

Kakuzu: Ah, that … *reaches into his pocket* I’d be happy to sell you the key … for $200.

Deidara: TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS for some TOILET PAPER?! That’s crazy! I —

*Deidara’s stomach suddenly gives a very loud gurgle*

Deidara: F-fine! Fine!! *pulls out his wallet and throws the bills at Kakuzu, before grabbing the key and sprinting towards the bathrooms*

*more guests approach Kakuzu, all holding their stomachs*

Kakuzu, to Sasori: I guarantee I’ll have my entire deposit on this venue back within the hour.

Sasori:

[jaccqwq]

Deepfried crispy Curly

[callilemon]

✨️Whump✨️

I'm so pleased with how this turned out! It's different from how I normally draw, but I think it turned out nice! 💜💙

(Also let's pretend this portrait is hanging somewhere in future Noé's home)

[valleymyristica]

[FOP] What it takes To be sick

Dev finally has his fairy, But what's the use? After what happened, Can he really trust that fairy? And why is. it. STILL. TALKING. Oh, there is sickness brewing Heh, What does it take, To be sick?

Do not be fooled by pretty lights They are in despair

HEED MY WARNINGS

Else you'll regret going there

I hope it hurts It will hurt HAHAHA! Have fun. ᵔᵜᵔ

[ Masterpost ]

There is hunger. There is dread. heh. Enjoy the suffering. Hope it doesn't mess with you head. heh. Too much.

Words: 2 814

Here it is! Chapter 3, this will hurt

@cubbihue, @shrimpyjackal I see no pesticide in sight, so this bug will keep buzzing I'm actually really happy you seem to enjoy the story

And this ones a fun chapter as it's kinda were we're actually getting into the meat of the story more.

Also, if there is anyone else who'd like to be bugged, I'd be delighted to bug you too! (hehe)

[stari-hun]

I think there’s a lot of religious symbolism and context in Mouthwashing too. The themes of retribution are tied deeply with Anya not only because she was assaulted but Jimmy, but also because the only time he even comes close to acknowledging her existence is with the idea that she only continued to live with the purpose of hurting him. But I also like rattling Curly around in my head with his divine punishment for the crime of being a bystander and enabling someone he knew was prone to violence is to them become helpless to that same violence. The moment Curly became disabled by the crash he was not only subject to everyone’s wills whether they had good or bad intentions for him in mind, but also he lost all agency for himself. He couldn’t speak up or protest, he was simply forced to fear what was worse to come and when, or later on, IF the end would come. I think about the fact that Curly witnessed her last moments in the same room she confided to him in before the crash. Curly had to listen as Anya overdosed and died, he spent time with her dead body, and even further as Daisuke sustained injuries to get to them until he had to hear as Daisuke was killed too. If Curly’s screams of agony can ring about in a ship then so can the gunshot that killed Swansea. And to the end, he didn’t even get the option to die with the ship as it’s Captain.

[beaumightbehere]

first post and it’s curly from mouthwashing ( tw: gore) ( let’s just not mind that I accidentally wrote I hope this hurts cause I forgot the og saying)

[theluckywizard]

WIP WHENEVER

I've been working on this pun battle for an upcoming chapter of my longfic In the Shattering of Things the last few days (after it sat stewing in my brain for a solid month). I researched by watching pun championships and got some help from fellow DAFF writers, @kiastirling, @bluewren, @nirikeehan and @warpedlegacy and finally it is DONE.

WC: 916

Rating and CW: Gen, puns and utter torment

Rose Trevelyan POV

Scene is they are on the road to Crestwood and trying to keep Rose entertained for *reasons*.

It's truly cringe, so proceed with caution below.

Excerpt:

On the second day I find myself sandwiched between Varric and Hawke who busily share tales of their exploits in and around Kirkwall, keeping my attention captive and forcibly restraining it from chasing misery for an hour or so. Hawke is eager to set the record straight for me, although Varric points out that his version invariably has significantly more panache.

“If Sebastian hadn’t had his bow trained perfectly on the Wyvern’s eye, Hawke wouldn’t have made it,” sighs Varric, the memory a twinkle in his eye.

"I remember it was an arrow escape!” says Hawke, a grin of pure triumph breaking across his face. As I drop my head back in amused torment, Varric’s head jerks side to side with sudden vehemence.

“Oh no. Oh no no no,” says Varric, a weak look drifting over to his best friend.

“Yes.”

“I… can’t.”

“You will,” says Hawke with certainty. “Topic: weapons. Go!” A sudden effervescence bubbles up inside me as my mind immediately grasps for the next play. I glance apologetically at Varric and then at Hawke and unleash my worst.

“This sounds like a sword spot between you two,” I remark, my smile twitching well into my cheek for the first time since we left. Hawke’s brows pop up and he grabs a fistful of his hair in shock and delight. 

“If you don’t fight back, Varric, she’ll pommel us both!” he counters, leaning around me to regard the dwarf. The energy shifts around the three of us, craning to put eyes on the brewing chicanery, muttering to themselves about how terrible it all is.

“Fine, fine. I’ll take a stab at it,” grumbles Varric, rapidly losing his grip on his smirk.

“And I shall saber the experience,” grins Hawke. I hear Cassandra’s rumble of agony somewhere behind me.

“Spear us your groans, Seeker!” Varric calls.

“Like the dregs of the worst theater company in Val Royeaux,” scoffs Vivienne into her horse’s mane. “Wordplay is the lowest form of comedy.”

“Cleave us alone already, will you? We love edgy humor!” gripes Hawke, hamming it up for the audience around him.

“Cutlass some slack, Iron Lady,” says Varric.

“Come Madame Vivienne, surely you enjoy wincing until your face hurts like the rest of us?” says Dorian. Vivienne merely lifts her chin, thinly veiling her disdain for it all with a distance gaze ahead. 

“Shield get used to it. Eventually,” says Hawke with a shake of his head, directing his obvious glee at me again.

“Oh, wipe that dirk off your face,” I swipe. He clutches at his chest dramatically.

“You stagger me, Lady Violet. You axe too much of me!”

“Amateurs. You’re making a mace of things,” calls Bull, glancing over his shoulder with a wide grin as he falls back to ride closer to the chaos.

“Terribull,” Hawke strikes back. “Truly Terribull.”

“Like I haven’t heard that one a thousand times before, Champignon. Weak jab.”

“True, but I still think I prefer Prose. Your punnery impales in comparison,” says Hawke.

“Thrust me, we’re all well aware of your preference,” says Bull with a laugh. Laughing, Hawke steals a pointed look at me that prompts a momentary surge of heat to my cheeks.

“It would be a greaves mistake to underestimate me, Bull,” I call ahead to him.

“Ha! Knife one.”

“Sad how you flail about for such low hanging fruit. You don’t haft to say them maul, for Maker’s sake,” Hawke says, his triumph provoking hollers and aching moans from the lot of us. He takes a slight bow over his horse’s ashen mane. “Shank you very much.” My laughter slips out at last, breaking free from the ache that hasn’t left my ribs since that awful morning.

“They’re words but they’re the wrong words,” mutters Cole, suddenly appearing at a jog alongside Varric.

“But they’re almost the right words and that’s why it’s funny, kid,” explains Varric.

“Hawke uses a lot of wrong words,” observes Cole. 

“A true rapier wit,” says Dorian, testing the waters, earning a cheeky grin of approval from Hawke and another exasperated sigh from Cassandra.

“Maker, don’t encourage them,” says Vivienne, believing that she and Dorian are a sort of team above it all. 

“Ah, you think you’ll cuirass of our affliction?” Hawke continues over his shoulder, his eyes practically glowing with delight.

“I’m not engaging with you,” she answers, fixing her eyes firmly on the road ahead.

“Don’t be bashful, Vivienne, it’s just a friendly gauntlet of sorts,” I say and my snort pops out so suddenly that I fail to clamp it under my hand, a joyful tear collecting the corner of my eye. Maker, I’ve needed this. 

Vivienne’s eyes flutter and roll.

“Ouch. A parry of puns no less,” says Hawke and my pained look is clearly the reward he seeks.

“Maybe we should claymore gently around her,” says Varric. Cassandra cries out in indignation.

“I agree. Perhaps we should break for lunge?” I inquire. And then we see it. The barest little twitch of the corner of Vivienne’s lips. We all trade sudden looks of astonishment.

“Let it be known that the Iron Lady smiles!” declares Varric. “At lowly wordplay no less!”

“An insect alighted on my cheek, nothing more,” she says, her smirk sneaking away from her again and the roar of approval is immediate. 

“Admit it, we’re pretty stunny,” says Hawke.

“Knife one!” shouts Sera, having listened to all of this and waited for her moment.

“Sera— just— no,” says Varric. “You never steal someone else’s pun.”

Tagging others for WIPs, even on this, the last day of the weekend!

@skyeventide, @effelants, @about2dance, @melisusthewee, @monocytogenes, @rowanisawriter, @smutnug, @breninarthur AND YOU

[thoughtsfromlayla]

Bringing out my greifcase of traumas and digging deep so I can hurt my readers the most with this next chapter