#I HAVE SOLVED THE DESTIEL

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 1: Angst with a happy ending

,,Me too." | @tami-ryver

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 1,748

Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Case Fic, Hunt Gone Wrong, Werewolves, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt Sam Winchester, Major Character Injury, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Castiel's Angelic Grace (Supernatural), Angelic Grace (Supernatural), AngstAngst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Injury, Blood, Fictober 2023

Summary: The silence is unbearable. Not even insects can be heard in the darkness, not even moon shines down on their path. The only source of light they have are the flashlights they took from the Impala. Armed with silver knives and the demon knife, they walk deep in the darkness of the forest, in search of the place where the massacre took place.

I Want You to Know That I'm Awake (I Hope That You're Asleep) | @starstiels

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 2,192

Main Tags/Warnings: depressed!dean (heavily implied), post-canon, grief/mourning, hurt/comfort, first kiss, selectively mute dean, mental health issues, panic attack

Summary: Dean Winchester wants to cry. He wants to scream and yell and sob until his lungs give out and his eyes sting like needles.

The Covert Identity (WIP) | @rowanspn

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 4,623 (22,561 updated)

Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, FBI Agent Dean Winchester, FBI Agent Sam Winchester, Florist Castiel (Supernatural), Crime Boss Lucifer (Supernatural), Kid Fic, Kid Jack Kline, Blood and Violence, Graphic depictions of violence

Summary: Dean Winchester loves his job; working as a secret agent has its perks. There is nothing quite like the thrill of saving people and hunting down criminals. And with his baby brother Sammy at his side, it’s a family business. However, when he and Sam are assigned to the case of Lucien Shurley, a suspected crime lord with a rap sheet a mile long, Dean’s semi-predictable life takes a turn for the unprecedented and over complicated. He and Sam must go undercover to investigate Lucien’s own family, his brothers Gabriel and Castiel, and his young son, Jack, to find out just how involved they truly are. As the stakes rise and the body count follows, it is up to Sam and Dean to solve the greatest mystery of their careers; who is Castiel Novak and what does he know?

he's gonna take my files | @autisticandroids

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 6,191

Main Tags/Warnings: Dean Saves Cas from the Empty, Afterlife, Triangulation of Desire, Memories, Trauma, Hurt Cas, Canon Divergent, Canon Remix, Warnings in Author's Note

Summary: Dean goes to the Empty, where Cas is floating through his memories.

when doves cry | @watchinghimrakeleaves

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 6,821

Main Tags/Warnings: Human Castiel, Season/Series 09, Not Canon Compliant, Winchester Coping Mechanisms, Angst with a Happy Ending

Summary: When Dean asks Cas to leave the bunker, all he can do is hope that the fallen angel is safe and doing okay. But when he reaches out to Cas to check in, he's surprised by the anger he's met with. Forced to consider whether or not he made the right call, Dean must reckon with how to fix things between him and the man he worries he may have lost forever.

Forest Fever | @amaranthhiding

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 8,586

Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Post-Ep 12x10, Monster of the Week, Hallucinations, Injured Castiel, Protective Dean, (Emotional) Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Praying, Angel Grace, Humor (mostly in the epilogue)

Summary: After the crushing events of episode 12x10 "Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets", Castiel is low on grace and morale. In an attempt to restore at least one of these two, Sam and Dean take him on a hunt. Things start going wrong when Sam gets injured and Cas seemingly disappears. They get worse when Dean turns from hunter to prey for something feeling far more at home in this dark, rainy forest than he does.

Send Me a Postcard | @blessyourhondahurley

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 10,387

Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel is Saved from the Empty, First Kiss, References to Depression, Bisexual Dean Winchester

Summary: Shortly after his rescue from the Empty, Cas hits the road late one night without telling anyone he's leaving. Two weeks later, a postcard arrives for Dean.

whisper your name without making a noise | @deancaskiss

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 12,577

Main Tags/Warnings: Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy, Muteness, Mute Dean Winchester, traumatic mutism, Mutism, Major Character Undeath, Dean Winchester to the Rescue, Dean Winchester Saves Castiel from the Empty, Dean Winchester Saves Castiel, Pining, POV Dean Winchester, Kissing, Boys Kissing, French Kissing, Rough Kissing, Gentle Kissing, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Drinking to Cope, Drinking Alcohol, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Getting Together, Dean Winchester is Not Okay, Happy Ending, Post-Canon, Post-Season/Series 15, Fix-It, Character Death Fix, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Castiel/Dean Winchester UST, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Takes Care of Castiel, The Empty (Supernatural), the handprint, Dean Winchester's Jacket

Summary: Losing Cas to the Empty felt like Dean was losing a piece of himself. I love you, Cas had said; and then he was gone before Dean got the chance to tell Cas how he felt. But Cas might have taken more than just Dean’s heart when the Empty ripped him away. Cas is gone, and so is Dean’s voice. Traumatic mutism: according to Sam and Eileen, Dean had been through a traumatic experience losing Cas and now he was mute. So, Eileen taught Dean sign language, and Sam bought notebooks for Dean to write out his thoughts. But Dean never stopped aching for Cas; praying to him every day and searching for a way to bring Cas home. When Dean finds a way into Empty, it’s a fight like he’s never fought before. Scream, Dean, scream, the Empty taunts. But Dean can’t stop until he’s rescued Cas, kissed his angel breathless, and told Cas the truth about how he feels—voice or no voice.

Taking one for the team | @artichokegarden

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 16,846

Main Tags/Warnings: Case Fic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Stanford Era, Sex Worker Dean Winchester, Dubious Consent, Voyeurism, Kink Negotiation, Kink Discovery, Praise Kink, BDSM, Spanking, Whipping, Bath Sex, Hair Washing, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Abusive John Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, POV Castiel, Angst with a Happy Ending, Porn with Feelings

Summary: Cas blinked slowly. “Your father sent you to his friend’s sex club as bait for a sex monster. And you want me to find your lost memories of this for you?”

“Don’t you start, Cas. We need to find out what happened, or those women are as good as dead. If I wanted to listen to a load of crap about dad’s parenting choices, I’d have told all this to Sam in the first place, instead of biting his head off for asking. Let’s just agree he wasn’t winning father of the year for this one and let it go, okay?”

When women start going missing from sex clubs, Cas investigates Dean's memories of a Stanford-Era case and finds some secrets there that could help their relationship in the present.

this bitter nightcall | @abi-cosmos

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 32,514

Main Tags/Warnings: Djinn curse, Jealous Dean Winchester, Hallucinations, Unreliable narrator, Heavy angst, Implied Castiel/Mick Davies, Inappropriate smut, Dean doesn't know what's real, Love confessions, Post-season 12, Very brief almost major character death, Hurt/Comfort, Case fic, True love's kiss

Summary: Dean gets touched by a djinn, but it's all cool. Or, is it?

Forced to confront his desires, Dean's grip on reality slips. Leaving Castiel, Sam, and Mick Davies trying to find a way to save him before it’s too late.

If only they knew that the cure is right in front of them.

Gracefully Yours, Always | @thefandomsinhalor

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 39,815

Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent, Episode: S09E10, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Temporary Blindness, Angelic Grace, Hurt Dean

Summary: As Dean hopelessly waits for Gadreel and Crowley to be expelled from Sam’s body, he and Castiel are unexpectedly ambushed by Malachi and the remainder of his soldiers, seeking retribution for what Castiel has done to his faction. Because Castiel gets gravely injured in the fight, Dean resists the urge to isolate himself, and instead returns to the bunker with his friend and Sam, determined to put an end to the fallen angel madness, and also, perhaps, try to understand why, after everything he’s done, Castiel still stands by his side.

Still Waters Run Deep | @thisisapaige

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 41,168

Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent After s15e09 The Trap, Hurt/Comfort, Mute Castiel, Mark of Cain, Aquaphobia, Claustrophobia, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester

Summary: In the darkest depths of the ocean, sealed into the ma'lak box with Chuck trapped behind the Mark, Castiel loses the battle against God's rage. When Sam and Dean find Castiel on a dark patch of highway— the Mark missing and his grace weak— he cannot speak.

It rains. It rains and it rains and it rains. It is a Great Flood.

In order to stop God, save the world, and resolve the issues simmering between them for years, Castiel and Dean need to communicate.

Perhaps they should build an ark instead.

When I Knew You | @friendofcarlotta

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 54,272

Main Tags/Warnings: Modern AU, Time Travel, Bartender Dean Winchester, Editor Castiel, Mutual Pining, Minor Character Death, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Incorrect Science, Social Anxiety, Sharing a Bed

Summary: Shortly after moving into his new house, Dean Winchester finds a strange, flickering light in the middle of his living room. When he touches it, he’s transported two years into the past, to the days when a man named Castiel Novak lived in the house.

Dean’s own time pulls him back eventually, but the gateway to the past keeps appearing, and Dean keeps visiting Cas — sometimes for minutes, sometimes for hours. They soon fall in love, but there is no possible future for them, for one simple reason: in a few weeks, Cas is supposed to die.

As the date of Cas’ death draws closer, will Dean be able to save his life? And if he does… will the two of them find a way to be together in the same time?

On the flip side | Joysprings (AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up

Word Count: 64,357

Main Tags/Warnings: Lgbtq, Polyamorous characters, Blood and Injury, Time Jumps, Neurodivergence, Autistic Castiel, Emotional Abuse, Pilot Dean Winchester, Writer Castiel, Grief and Mourning, Temporary Character Death, Domestic Destiel, Dean and Cas are dad's, Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending I Promise,

Summary: A little over a year after airforce test pilot Dean Winchester's plane crashes and goes missing, its finally found. Castiel Winchester, Dean's widowed husband reflects on his grief and his memory re visits the most significant points of their relationship throughout their time together and how they shaped the present. The whole family is left to deal with the resurfaced trauma from the initial accident, and will finally learn about what truly happened, uncovering new and unexpected answers. This is their journey.

(Story will alternate chapters from the present to past time stamps)

the weight of your bones | Chi_Yagami (Ao3)

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 66,780

Main Tags/Warnings: afterlife, soulmates (sort of), canon divergent, hunter Dean Winchester, human Castiel, kid Jack Kline, angst with a happy ending, touch-starved, flashbacks/discussions of death, panic attacks

Summary: After rescuing his brother's fiancée from a house fire he doesn't survive, Dean Winchester finds himself in Heaven. He's immediately suspicious—after all, with everything he's done during his time on Earth... there's no way he deserves to be here. He lives in a beautiful neighborhood right down the street from his parents, in an amazing house that he shares with his new soulmate, Cas—a man Dean's never even met. Despite Dean's best efforts to keep his distance, Cas seems determined to make their new relationship work in the afterlife.

However, Cas doesn't understand... he isn't aware of Dean's past. Cas doesn't know that all Dean's good for is destroying relationships and ganking monsters. Cas doesn't know that Dean once got an innocent civilian killed on a case, doesn't know of the cave that haunts Dean's dreams. People are made of memories they bury or live by, and Dean chose to bury his a long time ago.

But as Cas chips away at Dean's resistance... the once-forgotten bones begin to surface.

When Tomorow Comes | @teeparadigm67

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 78,994

Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Season 15 rewrite, Canon-Typical Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Angst, Lots of Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Eventual Happy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Dean Winchester Saves Castiel from the Empty (kind of), Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Dean Winchester is Saved, First Time, Castiel Saves Dean Winchester, Love Confessions, Castiel's Loss of Angelic Grace, Dean Winchester in the Empty, First Kiss, The World is Saved, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dean Winchester's Taste in Music, Sharing a Bed, Frottage, Men of Letters Bunker, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Men of Letters Bunker, Happy Ending, Alternate Season/Series 15, Season/Series 15

Summary: When hunting for the Leviathan blossom, Castiel gets taken. Tired, desperate and wanting to tell him all the things left unsaid before it’s too late, Dean prays to him. But he realises... standing there, in the grey hellish landscape, the portal home flickering just beside them with seconds left on the timer, they're already were too late.

Running himself ragged fuelled solely by caffeine, whisky, and that trademark Winchester determination, he will find a way to stop Chuck and to save Cas. However, this isn't the blaze of glory Dean had always envisioned going out in. But, deep down, he would go out swinging to save a loved one. Those bright shining penetrating tear-soaked eyes are the last thing he sees before his vision is marred, the desperate plea of his name dampened by the black ooze filling his eardrums as the essence of the Empty wraps around him and pulls him pulled from existence into the dark.

All because of that simple prayer, the ending Chuck had always planned was rewritten.

The Unbroken | @casblackfeathers

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 126,551

Main Tags/Warnings: zombie apocalypse, bed sharing, hurt and comfort, angel castiel, protective dean, soft dean, endverse, bamf castiel, bottom dean

Summary: Dean’s life had been made of running. He ran from a curse that had desolated his life ever since he was a child — whenever he got hurt, he turned into a goddamn human-torch, killing everyone around him — and he ran from himself and his own self-loathing.

But managing all that at the end of a world full of Croats lurking around every corner was easier said than done.

Until a mysterious man with tousled dark hair paired with blue eyes as clear as the sky during a hot summer’s day stopped him from free falling, literally. In one fell swoop, the stranger had not only saved his life but also calmed the wildfire threatening to burn everything in its wake.

There was something about Castiel that made Dean want to stop running but also hid something darker — something Dean couldn’t quite put his finger on. And between soft, pillowy lips and feather-like fingerprints, Cas could very well shatter Dean’s world and maybe help save the whole world in return.

Fortunate Son (WIP) | @friendofcarlotta

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 128,610

Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - 1960s, Vietnam War, Character Death (but no MCD), Blood and Injury, Counterculture, Recreational Drug Use, Mutual Pining, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Period-Typical Homophobia, Coming Out, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Getting Back Together, Suicidal Thoughts

Summary: The year is 1966, the place is Kansas, and Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak are falling in love. But with Castiel under the thumb of his conservative parents and Dean set to ship out to Vietnam, there is no possible future for them.

As Castiel’s life turns upside down and the hell of Vietnam threatens to swallow Dean’s soul, it will take everything they have to find their way back to each other. But some things are worth waiting — and fighting — for.

[ahurston]

Is Crowley and Aziraphale's central issue truly miscommunication? Because it really sounded like Aziraphale genuinely thought Crowley would jump at the chance to be an angel again, and that indicates such a fundamental misjudgment of who Crowley is as a person that I don't know how they get past it?

In so many ships, the characters just need to get trapped in an elevator for long enough to actually have an honest conversation, and it would solve all their problems (looking at you, Destiel). But for Aziraphale and Crowley, this breakdown means something more than a simple conversation could correct. It means something about how Aziraphale makes sense of their shared history, how he perceives Crowley's worth as a demon in comparison to his own as an angel, and what he understands to be the roadblock standing in the way of them being truly together.

Crowley named that roadblock as he sees it - the structures of heaven and hell themselves ("We don't need heaven, we don't need hell, they're toxic!"). But for Aziraphale, that roadblock appears to be Crowley's demon-ness, which he sees as extricable from Crowley himself (which it isn't). His roadblock is Crowley himself. And if that's the case, that's not a miscommunication, that's a tragedy.

[autisticandroids]

free space: medium-sized destiel

so in my reclists for @spnficrecfest i haven't been including many fics that are very "big destiel."

this is partly because i've been trying to keep the kudos count lower (though obviously this hasn't been absolute), and also because i actively did not include any "post empty destiel fix it" type fics in the dabb era reclist because they're kind of a genre unto themselves. nor have i intentionally made space in other reclists for fics that have a particular destiel romance novel vibe. obviously there's some, but those tend to dominate reclists, and i wanted to highlight smaller fics.

so this is my "big destiel" reclist, except i still did not include anything that had >2k kudos, because those are generally speaking pretty well known already.

some of these fics are small and just have the big destiel vibes, but a lot of them are more in the 1k kudos range than the hundred kudos range, on account of being big, or medium-sized, destiel.

in order of word count:

ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? by everytuesday, 1k

a couple of takes on the confession scene. very special to me.

rot and grace by extemporaneous, 3k, violence warning

cas watches dean murder the world. corruption kink.

some dying star looks dull in the light by sp8ce, 4k

heaven angst with a happy ending, post-empty.

one step closer by rhinestoneangels, 4k

an empty rescue. i love the empty geography in this one.

i didn't feel it on the first day, and now i got it in the worst way by wintertree, 6k

meg pov on a post-widower arc destiel.

the doorway to a thousand churches by sonatine, 6k

cas and the deans from goodbye stranger.

if you try sometimes, well you just might find by jenthesweetie, 9k

cas pov on dean's wants.

godot ain't got nothing on me and my baby by ilovehowyouletmefall, 10k

post empty, cas became death. the only way dean could see him is by dying.

before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10k

a silly little case where cas and dean realize how they see each other.

solitudes by ilovehowyouletmefall, 21k

cas sees dean see cas die. a wonderful little melodrama. i actually really liked how it handled dean's alcoholism (not really as something to be solved but just as a... reality to be dealt with) and i'm OBSESSED with the director's commentary. if this had been published in 2021 instead of 2023, every heller would have read it three times over.

powerless in dreams by calicoyak, 24k

a post-empty fic. i really liked some of the cas stuff in this one.

between a rock and a hard place by amidsizefrog, 24k

dean's dick doesn't work. also cas is dead. maybe the two are related.

every single thing by thestoryinsideme, 37k

a charming and goofy season nine fic. dean is a shitty little man in a very canonical way that is also deeply sweet and adorable.

a light above descending by hedderstheowl, 38k

a mark of cain fic with chefkiss angel stuff. a recent favorite of mine. really put this author on the map for me.

with understanding by apokteino, 427k, chose not to warn and noncon warning

yeah it's with understanding. you've heard of it. go read it now chop chop.

and if your wondering which fics (that you've probably read) got the axe for having too many kudos: it was on labor, the bee movie fic, time has come today, and r/supernatural. that's my taste. if you were curious.

[podado-t-memes]

If someone told me yesterday I’d be prepping for my coding final with a Destiel Omegaverse practice question…

I would have thought they were insane…

…But here we are…

(Anyone wanna try to solve it? I already know the output lol)

[ratz13456]

So I'm rewatching Supernatural (because I hate myself) and I'm... so angry.

Castiel is my favorite and the way the writers treated him is so infuriating. His character was AMAZING and they just couldn't handle it. I understand that they had to make him weaker, because otherwise 99.9999% of the problems in the show would've been easily solved with his powers. FINE I GET IT, but they didn't had to make him a fucking joke, a punchile, a mere reflection of what he was... they could've at least treated him with dignity and respect (HE DESERVED IT).

Which is so funny because they knew how to do exactly that, In season 4-5 for example, when he was still at his peak, there were moments when he had no powers whatsoever (when they faced one of the horsemen of the apocalypse for example) and despite that, Castiel was still fucking amazing!!!! he cut off the horseman's finger cleeeean, while being mortal and half death an all, because with or without grace he is still a warrior, he is still strong, he is still Castiel, that's how it should've go.

So It's honestly so frustrating to see how he is constantly mistreated in the later seasons, used as Dean's punchbag and no longer having that spark that made him Cas (I'm not talking about grace)

They could've done so much with him... They gave him a shitty ending too (He deserved loveeeeee for fucks sake)

Fuck supernatural

Destiel forever

[pietadean]

having a live-in destiel bestie means there is an endless potential of spn rewatch nights. which means it's the second time in two weeks that we're rewatching tmwwbk and. what do you mean when crowley aproaches cas to pitch the purgatory deal cas is longingly stalking dean. he watches dean and tells himself he won't ask for his help because he wants to protect him, because dean deserves his happiness and cas means hunting and death and doom and (maybe he could ask him but what if he says no. what if he picks lisa). what do you mean crowley takes one look at cas and is like I can get you your happy ending, I quote "with all possible entendres intended". all of this while cas is longingly looking at his happy ending. what if crowley said that and cas saw a future where the raphael problem was solved and he could come back to dean without the hunting and death and doom and. have a go at happiness. im. hm

[szlez]

Stay - destiel fanfic by ani_ona and me with my fanart Feverish

Written for https://sicktember.tumblr.com prompt. Dean & Cas

Stay

It was Sam, who noticed first. Knowing every muscle of his brother's face and years of studying every one of his tiniest expressions helped, but at the end of the day it was due to that unexplainable connection between the two of them. The strange force that made his time at Stanford less enjoyable and more sleepless. So now he just knows that something is wrong with his brother. And when Dean orders his beloved chili fries and doesn't suck in every last bit in a matter of minutes, Sam and Cas exchange worried looks.

Their case is solved, dinner finished, and they are in for a 9-hour drive home. Another cue that something is not just as it should be is when Dean decides to let Sam drive after an hour and doesn't take a shotgun seat but joins Castiel in the back instead. When Sam glances in the rear mirror, he sees his brother's head resting on the angel's shoulder and the intense stare of the blue eyes.

Dean doesn't wake up the whole ride home. Cas somehow manages to arrange him into a more lying position, with his head on the angel's lap. Sam would have smiled at the sight if he wasn't focused on keeping his eyes open and on the road.

They reach the bunker at dawn, and Dean lets Castiel maneuver him out of the car and down the stairs.

“Get him to his room,” Sam says, his voice hoarse from not using and tiredness. “And I’ll bring some supplies.” Cas just nods and adjusts his grip around Dean's waist. He is taking off the hunter's shoes, when Sam comes in with water and some pills.

“Looks like he is going down with something…” Cas murmurs, letting the back of his palm touch Dean's cheek. He frowns and crouches beside the bed to lightly press his lips to Dean's forehead. “Definitely. His fever is high.” He whispers, now real concern lacing his voice.

The gesture looks a lot like a kiss. Dean would undoubtedly freak out if he was awake. But now Sam is too tired to analyze it further.

“Make sure he drinks a lot. And takes these once he is conscious enough.” he points to the meds. “Want me to stay with you?”

“No, Sam, I got this, you drove the whole night, go get some sleep.”

Sam nods and leaves, though he feels strange. He's never left his brother's side during an illness. Even as a child, he used to cling to his brother when any of them was unwell. Perhaps it had something to do with losing the only source of safety and care. Now Dean has his angel, Sam tells himself, lowering his pounding head onto the pillow. He is out in a few minutes.

In the meantime, Castiel frees Dean of most of his clothing, careful with every movement, expecting the hunter to shove him away and yell. But he doesn't react more than with a quiet sigh, and feeling his skin radiating unnatural heat makes Castiel worry even more. He tries to wake Dean up, but only succeeds in making him swallow some pills without choking. When the fever is still high, regardless of the meds, Castiel's anxiety reaches a dangerous level bordering panic. What if he is doing something wrong? Or not doing enough? He stares at the pale face of his friend, thinking. Dean would know what to do. He always does. Dean dealt with countless of Sam's childhood illnesses, even more wounds requiring various types of stitches, his father's drunken fits and hangovers. But now it's Dean who needs help, and Cas feels uncertain and incompetent. Afraid that he could make things worse. What is he supposed to do? Should he go get Sam?

Dean stirs in his sleep, and Castiel's train of thoughts is interrupted. He focuses on his friend, whose brow frowns, and his whole body tenses under the covers. Hands grip the sheets tightly and suddenly he opens his eyes wide, staring terrified and unseeing through the ceiling, breathing shallow, quick breaths. What is he seeing, Cas can only guess, but he is afraid he can guess correctly.

“Hey… Easy…” Cas reaches for Dean's hand and feels fingers clutching his wrist like a lifeline. “Whatever you see, it's not real. You are safe here, with me. It's just a dream. It's not real.” Cas whispers over and over again until Dean rests his head on the pillow and falls asleep, not letting go of his angel’s hand.

So until he loosens his grip, Castiel has no other option but to sit down on the floor by the bed and try to make himself comfortable. He feels Dean’s quick pulse under his fingertips and watches an unhealthy blush coloring hunter's cheeks. After what feels like hours the idea pops into Cas’ mind, and he makes a quick run to the sink with a handful of handkerchiefs. As soon as the wet cloth touches hot skin, Dean shudders violently and makes a little sound close to whimper. Cas's heart tightens. He puts his hand on Dean's cheek to calm him down, and the hunter leans into the touch as if trying to find some relief. The angel sits on the bed and cradles Dean's head, wanting to absorb the heat, illness, and pain.

“You are going to be ok, I'll take care of you.” He whispers to the unconscious man and feels Dean's chaotic fear and suffering flooding him, leaving him breathless. He has to do something, anything, to help, and fast. The echo of Dean's headache pounding in his own skull.

Dean is drifting in and out of consciousness, never lucid enough to hold a real conversation, just searching the space with glassy eyes that close with relief once he makes sure Castiel is with him.

“You are not alone,” Castiel tells him, knowing very well that Dean won't remember anything. “You won't be anymore.”

Hours go by and Castiel fills his time with wiping Dean's face, trying to get some water into him, changing cold compresses, and constantly checking the temperature. With zero improvement so far. Why is nothing working?

Finally, Cas knows he can't delay it anymore and a decision has to be made now. It's been hours and they haven't made any progress. Dean is exhausted and completely out of it from pain and fever, and Cas can't look at his dry lips and glistering, unseeing eyes any longer. It's time to take serious steps.

Dean is heavy. The dead weight of his nearly unconscious body is hard to carry. But not for the angel, who lifts him with ease, just like all these years before when they were leaving Hell. Castiel carefully lowers his trembling burden into the tube, and Dean immediately curls into a tight ball, shivering uncontrollably. Cas starts the lukewarm water and strokes Dean’s chest and back,

“Easy… try to relax” he murmurs, enfolding the hunter's arms. “This is going to help, you will feel better soon, just relax.” And finally, Dean does. Once the tube is filled, he straightens his legs and seems to be drifting off again. He slides a little and would go under if it weren't for Castiel’s grip.

“I’ve got you,” the angel sighs softly. “Don't worry, just relax and rest” he whispers, gently rubbing his chest and stomach in a slow circular motion.

This could be so much fun in different circumstances, Castiel thinks to himself, taking in his lover’s slim, muscular figure under the clear surface… What is he thinking about?!, he scolds himself immediately. It's definitely not a good time for such things. He has to admit to himself that he appreciates the sight before his eyes, though. 

Returning to the bedroom is surprisingly difficult because Dean, now somewhat conscious and wrapped tightly in the biggest towel the bunker can offer, insists on going on his own. This proves to be not the best idea when after a few steps his legs fail to support him, and he is forced to accept Castiel's outstretched arm reluctantly. 

The angel doesn't speak much now when Dean is able to comprehend what is being said to him. Helping Dean change into fresh clothes, and passing him pills and a glass of water, Cas carefully observes his patient, not daring to think that the worst is over now. Once Dean dozes off again, his fever rises a few degrees but only to break after a few hours, leaving the hunter drenched in sweat, weak and tired but finally fully awake and aware of his surroundings.

Seeing Dean putting on his T-shirt without help convinces Cas that his job is finished. He stands up slowly, mutters some “I’d be going” and turns to leave. That's when his hand is gripped one more time this night.

Cas catches Dean’s gaze lucid at last and though the man doesn’t utter a sound, the angel can hear one word, clear as a bell: Stay.

[fairyflowwers]

I love sastiel, but I know it's not going to be canon, and I don't really want it to be canon. Same (kind of) with wincest, I love it, but it's never going to be canon even though IT SHOULD. I would love if it was canon. And I'm not a big destiel fan, no hate towards it but it's just shouldn't have been apart of the show, it made the plot wonky, it tore apart the entire thing that this show was based on: Sam and Dean. The entire show was based on Sam and Dean's bond (another reason why wincest should've been canon. Sorry I'm still pissed). I still think that the entire shipping argument could've been solved by wincestiel, but I also do not think that would've gone well in canon.

[cornyonmains]

Dead Boy Detectives is honestly trauma therapy for queer Destiel survivors, and this show is about to become a good 75% of my personality because of it. Destiel was the ship I jumped to after Xena went off the air, and I blame the continuous lack of overtly gay resolution in my life for a decent chunk of my neuroses.

I mean seriously, the show is about two male leads, who solve Supernatural crimes together, and have an inexplicable and profound bond that transcends the immediate and physical nature of love into something that defies the natural order of the universe. Oh, and one of them is an Edwardian twink in knickerbockers who doesn't understand pop culture references.

As if that wasn't enough, the show even has an anti-Becky. Her name is Niko, and she's a delight who offers to help ghosts embrace their sexuality with explicit yaoi manga.

Also, there's dancing skeletons.

It's like I woke up and it's 2012 again. The strangest craving for another hour in the ball pit is overcoming me. I'm going to the bank later, I might even change into one of my Welcome to Night Vale shirts. I'm embracing this regression. I miss the enthusiasm I had during my Superwholock era.

[flyingcatstiel]

I’m currently reading superbat fics (sorry, destiel, stony and dinluke, I’ll get back to you some day) and I’m having great time with commenting and authors replying to me. It’s a whole new fandom experience when I can read fics just for personal enjoyment, without planning fic rec lists. So much easier to comment, wtf. Anyways, I’m following 4 superbat identity p*rn fics right now, and it’s glorious. What a feast. My favorite trope, so many interesting ways to explore it. Happy holidays to all superbat writers but especially those 4 WIP writers🎄

ETA - here be some recs

ETA, March 2024 - HERE BE SOME UPDATES!

@pinkb00bsocks asked about those 4 WIPs. Here they are! The usual disclaimer - there are plenty of excellent superbat WIPs going on right now, but I've limited spoons and these are the ones I currently enjoy.

The World and All Its Hedgehogs by Ginevra_Benci [M. 8,007 word count, WIP, 4/?] To investigate illegal arms sale taking place at a tropical resort hotel, Batman goes under cover as a vacuous billionaire Brucie Wayne and Superman takes a part time job as a porter. They didn't coordinate this, they don't know each others civilian identities. Every time they talk there are at least 3 different conversations going on and it is glorious. Also, so much lust. ;)

(Also, check out Interviewing & Counceling series by the same author. Clark is having a superhero identity crisis and Bruce is there to catch Clark gently as he spirals down. It has one of the softest identity reveals in superbat fics. ETA - the series is now complete, it has 5 parts and 18k word count. Awesome ending to the softest identity reveal story)

Watching Our Stars Align by ClarkeStetler [M, 28,840 word count, WIP, 7/14] There's a dating/chatting app only for superheroes and all identities are secret. What could go wrong? Bruce and Clark get matched under their new pseuds, and same happens to Tim Drake and Conner Kent. Now fathers and sons gotta navigate complicated relationships that come with secret identities and judging your coworkers hastily while talking heart to heart to anonymous superhero. The identity porn part happens through DM, which just happens to be another favorite trope of mine. [The story is going strong, it has 10/14 chapters now and a wonderful tangle of 3 secret identities!]

(Love) Triangles Have Multiple Centers by frozenpotions [T, 27,281 word count, WIP, 4/10] This fic wastes no time getting playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne and pining-after-his-coworker journalist Clark Kent together. After that, first time uneasy partners Batman and Superman gotta solve a case and their civilian selves gotta deal with the realities of their one night stand. Complicated doesn't even cover it! [The fic is being updated and Clark and Bruce are being put through new trials, 6/10 chapters]

A Favor for a Friend by RedFive [Explicit, 18,286 word count, WIP, 4/7] Omega verse fic with alpha playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne and omega journalist Clark Kent. I'm fascinated by dominant, flirtatious, sexually ravenous alpha Brucie Wayne who moonlights as a stoic, covered in scent blockers thus unclear second gender, Batman. Meanwhile omega Clark, due to being Kryptonian, is much less ruled by his second gender. That is, until he meets Mr. Wayne. This fic has so much lust and tension between the two. Does accidental heat triggering counts as a soulmate mark? I'm gonna count it like that. [The fic has entered the finish line, only a chapter or two are left to finish this wild, explosive, life changing story of two people who were meant for each other. 8/? chapters, 44k word count] The fic is now complete!!! 9 chapters, 56,153 word count. (Also, there's this new TV show about two gay dudes, and istg, they look like Bruce and Clark from this fic. I'm not naming it here because I don't want to highjack the show tag with superbat post, but go and check the tag on tumblr)

*****

And a special shout out to two identity shenanigan WIPs that are not actively updating but are absolute must reads.

ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat [M, 62,737 word count, WIP, 12/13] OK, so, for me personally, this is the ultimate identity p*rn fic across all fandoms I've read so far. This fic has one of the highest amount of secret identity pairs in superbat fics. There's the usual pining silently Batman/Superman, then there's Clark dating Bruce, Superman saving Bruce Wayne from peril, Clark Kent chatting with Batman. And the cherry on top is Clark writing Bruceman fanfic which is basically a RPF of his two friends, Batman and Bruce Wayne. Which leads to an internet friendship with a fellow fan, who is, you guessed, Bruce. This fic has great reflections on fandom and shipping culture. But the very beating heart of this fic is about how easy it is to lose something you wished to have but were afraid to ask for. The fic, at 12/13, is technically a WIP, but the main reveal is already done, and it is glorious. ETA - THIS IS NOT A DRILL, the fic is finished and the last chapter is a super meta cherry on a top of delicious, layered superhero identity and fandom shenanigans parfait. 13 chapters, 76,7k word count.

10 Things Every Brucie Fan Needs in Their Life by pomeloquat [T, 8,956 word count, WIP, 5/10] The main premise of this fic is hilarious and yet so, so right. Bruce Wayne is promoting himself as a nation's boyfriend instead of a playboy, and is making bank out of his wholesome, PG rated merchandise. The chapters of this fic tell continuous story but they also can be read as separate vignettes, so there's really no cliffhanger. This fic is so soft and fluffy, it will heal your soul. Also, Superman has celebrity crush on Bruce Wayne. Batman is amused.

[alphacentaurinebula]

Fanfic recs - AU edition!

In honour of You're the Bad Guys (E), my Cold War spies AU where Crowley is KGB and Aziraphale is MI6 and they're stationed in 1980s Berlin, I thought I would recommend a few of my favourite AUs.

Half Agony, Half Hope(E) by @gorgeousundertow - a regency romance AU with lots of the real life political unrest, class and privilege all providing a great replacement for the Heaven/Hell Celestial System. The regency period is often portrayed just balls and poshos in empire waistlines, but actually it was a hugely tumultuous period. The disenfranchised classes were demanding better pay, better conditions and the vote, whilst those in power feared any concession would reduce their own power and privilege. The result was some horrific state violence, and some of the most oppressive laws in British history (though there's a lot of competition there...!). It's always nice to see a historical AU that engages with the period so well, and uses it to make Crowley and Aziraphale's romance all the sweeter. One of the only fics I've ever read as a WIP (yes, I still want you to read my WIP, I am a complete hypocrite).

A Love Story with Detective Interruptions (T) by @fremulon - a 1930s AU series (2 works), where Aziraphale is an amateur sleuth in the vein of Miss Marple, exonerating the wrongfully accused (ie, Crowley), and solving house party murders willy nilly. The plots are based on Golden Age of Detective Fiction books (Dorothy Sayers and Agatha Chistie, specifically) and are delightful. The romance is definitely slow burn, but absolutely lovely.

South Downs (E) by @summerofspock - Crowley and Aziraphale star in a historical Bridgerton-esque miniseries, except it's gay. (I would watch the fuck out of that, just saying). Sometimes art mirrors life - sometimes life mirrors art! I love this one and I would legitimately like to watch the TV show they're supposed to be in.

Sit Tight, Take Hold (E) by @nieded - OK this one is not even remotely historical and, like, I hate cars and formula one holds zero interest to me...and yet I INHALED this formula one AU with Crowley and Aziraphale as drivers on opposing teams. Like...I really cared who won...a car race???? Features Gabriel and Sandalphone being true twats, which I must admit I enjoy.

Slow Show (E) by @mia-ugly - And finally, of course, Slow Show. Sure this one is not exactly an undiscovered gem but I still love it and if, in some wild, unreasonable twist of fate you haven't read it, you definitely should!

...plus one last rec - The Leap, by - @friendofcarlottathis is a Destiel fic, not Good Omens. But it is a historical romance AU about Cold War Berlin (in the 1960s, rather than 1980s, and there are no spies, but it is SO excellent for historical detail, especially life in East Germany). And in my opinion you only need to watch a few Castiel and Dean clips on youtube and you're ready to read Destiel AUs. I have only watched a season or so of Supernatural myself 🤷‍♀️

What do you think, have you read any of these? Any favourites? If anyone has other AU's to recommend, especially historical ones, please do!

[gffa]

Dearest gffa, you are the only person I know whose been reading Batfamily comics. (Though I do read some of the fanfic haha). The destiel meme informed me that Bad Things just happened in the latest comics. Is there a primer to the latest drama? (Everyone seems upset). Are you ok?

Best wishes, your fandom neighbor on Star Wars Street

I assume this is about the Batman #148 leaks? I haven't seen a ton of drama (other than a couple of posts, including the Destiel meme notification that got me to go see what was happening) but if that's it, it's kind of funny, because okay. As far as I've seen (the issue isn't even out yet, so I can't read it until tomorrow, I'm only going on the leaked panels I've seen) what happens in the issue is that Failsafe-- okay, let me back up. In the current Batman run (written by Chip Zdarsky), awhile back Bruce created a super powerful robot that was meant to be activated in the case of him going rogue so that it could take him down, and it's very coldly logical, based on his patterns, so it knows him extremely well and is hard to beat. It's powerful enough that it apparently took out the Justice League awhile back (I haven't read that arc yet, so take that with a grain of salt), which means now that Failsafe has gone rogue in the current Batman series that Zdarsky's writing, Bruce is having a hell of a time fighting it, especially with his "backup personality" Zur-En-Arrh (Bruce is a paranoid shit and I love him the most) is also running amok in his head and he's fighting back against that. Back up further--in late 2023, there was an event called "Gotham War" that was basically, "Bruce has been through a lot of shit lately, so he was out of commission for several months, in that time Selina stepped up in Gotham and started training crooks to be cat burglars instead of rogues' goons, Bruce woke up, thought this was bullshit, despite that crime was down, and they basically had a turf war while Bruce was losing his goddamned mind because of what he'd been through and because Zur-En-Arrh was literally ratting the bars of the cage of his mind, and part of the fallout being that Bruce dosed Jason with a gas that basically made his adrenaline go wild any time he would do anything dangerous, so that he could no longer be in this life of crime or vigilantism, because Jason had killed a lot of people, but Bruce couldn't bear to send him to jail, so this was the only way he could live with taking Jason out of the life they lived". Gotham War was extremely controversial--I had fun with it, because it was BONKERS and I fuckin' love bonkers stuff in the "punching people in the face solves crime" genre, but a lot of people were really angry about how Jason was treated in the arc. Zdarsky co-wrote Gotham War, so this is a continuation of a lot of people's frustration and anger towards how Jason has been treated by DC especially by this author.

There's also a lot of lingering frustration and resentment in fandom because Jason is not always written well or frequently. He doesn't have his own solo book these days, half of what's written about him is written by authors with VASTLY different takes from the other half of the writers out there, and there's a lot of fanon that goes around with Jason's sub-section of fandom where I think it furthers the divide because the fic that's written about Jason delves deep into his character in specific ways that the canon doesn't match and I think it can set expectations for some fans that are just not matched by DC themselves, either because they see Jason differently or because Jason just doesn't have a lot of fans at the company itself, I couldn't say for sure. So, now comes Batman #148 leaks (it's not actually out until tomorrow), where Failsafe kills Jason and Bruce has a dramatic reaction to it, and a lot of people are furious that DC would kill Jason at all, much less with such little fanfare, after how little focus he's gotten over the last several years. The thing is, though, that Jason doesn't stay dead, he's alive again by the end of the issue (I've seen panels from later in the issue) and I'm not sure how many people are reacting just to seeing the posts flying around fandom versus how many people have actually seen the whole context. Because context is slowly rolling out, but people generally aren't soothed by that, given the lead-up to this moment. Basically, years of Jason not getting much focus in the comics + the events of Gotham War have led to a powderkeg of a situation and the contextless leaks (ie, without the panel where Jason's alive again) took a match to the whole thing. And that's what's going on, as far as I know! I personally am having a great time because I was extremely skeptical that they would actually kill Jason without any fanfare and also I like Jason as a hot mess with crunchy relationships with people and that he's done bad things and had bad things done to him/been a victim as well, so all this messy drama in the story has me living for it. (This would have been a very different situation if I'd thought Jason was really dead, but I didn't, so I'm doing fine right now. Also, my Blorbo is Dick Grayson, so I've already been through this wringer and I'm still mad at DiDio for it, so it's Jason-Blorbo's time now.)

[vendettasfanfictioning]

AND ANOTHER THING Destiel's first rodeo down at Purgatory did not need to happen when they exploded Dick Roman. Cas did not fucking need to be that close to Dean and Dean could've survived on his own with Benny—in fact that would've taken some of the heat off of Destiel now that Dean's just making friends with non-humans, even blowing off Sam at some point because Benny called—but nooooooo they got trapped in their own narrative.

They made the Destiel girlies even more delusional by taking creative choices like "I prayed to you, Cas! Every night!" and "I ain't leaving here without you, Cas," but also "they were after me, I had to get away from you," and that whole memory reset Dean had to do, post-Purgatory. NOT TO MENTION building himself an actual reputation in Purgatory that the monsters just started referring to Castiel as his [Dean's] angel. Because that's literally what he was.

Like seriously, they could've cured Crazy!Cas with one hastily written cure or sent him to therapy idk but they could have solved that topside. Cas would've been fine eventually but no what did they decide on doing? Yeah sped up the process but also kickstarting even more Destiel shenanigans—because that's exactly what happens when Sam is out of the picture and Dean and Cas can be framed together in a non-platonic way.

I hate this show.

[studiogrimm810]

Speak of the Devil

> Too Much Dust // Part 6

pairings: (established) sam winchester x gn!reader, destiel is there :D

summary: you are taken by lucifer for over a week and sam damn near looses his head. when you are finally rescued, the trauma of what was inflicted on you has left it's mark and it's up to sam and dean to keep you put together. after a deeper look, conducted by a certain beautiful redhead, the gang now has a better idea of what they’re dealing with and how to fix it

warnings: torture, ptsd, flashbacks, hallucinations, graphic depictions of said torture

word count: 4,296

A/N: okay so maybe i’m a little in love with rowena….

read other parts here

———————

It’s been at least 15 rounds and if you were betting real money, you’d be down a kneecap and stamped with a deadline for just how bad you were doing. Your head really was just elsewhere because blackjack is how you’ve gotten your proper source of income while on the road. Sam knew this too, he knew you could gamble and had a better streak of luck than you really should- it was enough to convince Dean you were in with a witch at one point.

As Sam lays down round 16 though, his hand freezes- completely still.

“Sam?” You ask as you pull your attention up at him but his entire body is stiff. You wave your hand in front of him, calling his name a few more times but nothing works. You look back down at the cards in his hand and see that the watch on his wrist has even stopped.

“This is really starting to piss me off, doll.” You knew it was Lucifer the second his icy lips parted and sent that shiver down your spine. Your back straightens and you look for him, but as you start to scan the room, the lightbulbs burst, leaving the room pitch black.

“You know how many times I’ve scraped your brain? I’m starting to think that you just don’t have it,” the anger in Lucifer's voice makes you stiff and you wonder if this is what Sam is feeling right now. The lights flick back on but the room is still black and there's nothing except the chair you’re now strapped to. You tug at your restraints but your wrists are locked in place.

Irrational panic. ‘Have what?’

“The coordinates,” Lucifer sighs out, like he’s trying to solve a case with a cooperative partner. The panic settles deeper when he answers your silent question but he then reminds you, “I’m in your head, Einstein, I hear and see everything.”

‘Not possibly everything…’

“Oh, everything,” he appears from behind you, swimming around you with swift strides. Like a shark circling before it attacks. “Maybe it’s just not there,” he says, this time to himself. He stops right in front of you, brows pinched and patience thin. “I should’ve taken advantage of your physical body when I had the chance. I need to get you back to me.” He leans in, bracing himself on the armrests of your chair. His face just inches away as they trace your face with a look that makes you sick.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You manage to demand, your voice harvesting the weight of your rage but quivering out into a pathetic query.

“I left it with you, it has to be in there somewhere!” He shouts, a deep throttle and he funnels his frustration through his palms, pushing your chair back until it hits an invisible wall. The room is still just black- empty.

Your body is shivering from fear alone, eyes wide and any attitude shocked out of you.

“I’ll find it, I’ll have to,” his eyes narrowed. He’s stood tall, fists clenched and jaw so stiff that you think his teeth will shatter. He’s gone again, leaving you in the black room but not even long enough to filter a full breath before you’re back in the cage. Fuck.

“This is my favorite place, doll, I have all of my fun here,” his words pour out like an adult saddened by seeing their childhood home one last time. “I miss my prize though, maybe I’ll get him back when I make my rounds for you again. How lucky am I that you ended up with my perfect vessel?” He turns to you, eyes flashing with a ripple of red. You’re trying to piece together the words and phrases he’s picking out, desperately hoping to make sense of what the fuck he’s alluding at.

You’re truly trying, but everything is happening so fast and you’re already strung up like you were in the process of being so last time, just like you saw Sam. The Devil is wielding a needle filled with bubbling crimson. Your stomach drops. As he approaches you try to back away but there’s absolutely no where you can go.

“I’ll admit, as much fun as it was to toy with you, it was to wear you down enough to access that subconscious of yours, but I really made sure to put it under lock.” Lucifer almost looks sad, a feigned emotion only brought on by pure insanity.

His grip is razor sharp and lightening quick as he grabs your chin, holding you in place and bringing up the syringe. “This though? This is pure pleasure. Consider it compensation for wasting my fucking time,” he growls, stabbing the needle into your neck and injecting the tainted boiling blood into your veins. The burn runs quickly, scaling through your arms and up your neck. You feel the trail go down over your torso, sinking into your legs to settle in your toes. It’s everywhere. White hot liquid that curdles your own brewed blood, rubbing like sandpaper. You can’t even scream because the concoction stiffens your veins, holding you in place like you’re some claymation doll stood up by chicken wire.

Lucifer smashes the needle in the far end of the cage and you see Sam again. A figment of him at least. He’s curled in a corner, hugging his knees close but his face is blank as he stares out to nothing. He’s so still, almost like the Sam who dealt you bad hand after bad hand, except at least this Sam was breathing- though shuddering.

“There has to be a way to get those coordinates and I will find it,” Lucifer says, ignoring the racing questions plaguing your mind, begging for more explanation. “I left them with you for a reason. I should’ve known you’d be just as useless as a lockbox.” Lucifer grabs a knife, a simple one but you already know what’s coming next. What you still didn’t know though, is how Lucifer left coordinates with you.

He slices at your skin, watching the rotted trails of your once pumping veins dust out of your skin with admiration- crumbling out as they fall to the iron floor. He repeats this process over and over, collecting pile after pile onto the floor until you’re more slice than stitch. Still unable to scream, all you can do is endure. That is until he fixes you back up just to start again.

With a fresh body, you’re still strung up like a pig to bleed. Lucifer paces back to an instrument cart that he just manifested. He twirls his fingers over the items, piecing together his thoughts as he tries to find the brush to paint his art. You as his canvas.

“Maybe if I get you back to me, I could pluck it outta you,” he picks up a cork opener, “then you’ll remember,” he ponders, setting up the tip on one of your ribs, starting to turn. This time you can scream and you take advantage. The spiral digs through your skin and into the rib, anchoring into it just as he flips the wings of the device and snaps the bone, ripping a fresh scream from your throat. You pant as he fully removes the tool and inspects the blood dripping from it, bone marrow decorating it like sprinkles on a cake.

Sam is unfazed by the screams.

Lucifer sniffs the air, his nose scrunching as he looks right into your eyes with an annoyed glare, tilting his head. “They’re doing something new,” he offers no clarification, “I will get those numbers, even if it’s the last words you utter.”

———

You wake up with a start, jolting out from your position in bed with a racing heart and the look of a wild animal. You hear voices around you but your ears are ringing and your body is being stubborn with allowing you to catch up with your change of scenery.

Once you get a few gulped breaths, you can look around at the people gathered at your bedside- Sam, Dean, Cas… and Rowena. You look at each of them individually, taking in enough of their image to solidify their presence in your space.

“How’re you feeling?” Sam asks and you pull your attention back to him, letting your breaths come slower and slower.

“How long was I out?” You look down at the lack of blankets, you’re still in the same clothes.

“About an hour, Rowena cooked you up a spell to keep Lucifer away for now,” Sam explains, shifting his gaze over to the redhead who you’d admit made you consider a thing or two, once or twice. Sometimes she looked at you like she read those thoughts too.

“For now?” You ask.

“It’ll burn like sage, as long as it’s goin’, pesky devil ‘ll be at bay,” Rowena explained and you notice the distinct smell- overpowering. “Ginger and lavender, dear.” She points to the platter holding the bundle of herbs that smoke like incense.

“No sigil?” You ask, looking up at the angel who steps out in front of Dean whose hand resting on the angel's hip falls as they part.

“No sigil,” Cas attests, sitting next to you on the edge of the bed. Your shoulders slump with a relieved breath, your wrists wrapped with your cold fingers to ground you as much as they can.

“We were playing cards and you just passed out. Are you okay?” Sam asks, his hand reaching to rest on your thigh. The pain in his eyes shows the worry that almost drains the color from them. It makes you feel worse.

You scoot back so that you’re resting against the headboard, staring down at your hands. Images of Sam in the cage flash through your mind and you can’t bring yourself to look at him. You could convince yourself that Lucifer was just setting up a scene for you to observe but why would he have to? He has 120 years to pull memories from. You honestly preferred the physical torture he inflicted than that.

“He’s trying to find something,” your teeth chat against each other, jaw stuttering into the solid row. A nervous tick that you just picked up, another courtesy of The Devil.

Your words make Sam tense and Rowena’s head tilt in interest beyond a masked worry for your well being.

“Find something?” Sam asks, voice soft as he uses his other hand to push back some of your hair, just another reminder that he’s there for you.

“He says he-,” you want to make sure you get this right, “that he left something with me and he’s trying to find it. Like a lockbox, he said,” your voice gets softer as you lose your confidence in what you’re saying. It’s not that you’re saying it wrong per se, it's just that the harsh reality that hangs over you with your statement makes you want to shrink up like your veins and puff away into massless dust. Into nothing.

“He’s taking his sweet time, why’s he need so much from you?” Dean says, voice gruff and assertive as always, but he makes a point to tone it down for now. For you.

“I don’t know, but he’s getting desperate,” you breathe out mirthlessly. “I mean why is he just now telling me? Why wait? Why- I don’t know, let me live?” Your eyes widen, glossing over, “Why torture me in my mind? Why not the real deal?” Your face twists with a cracked smile that spits out dry giggles as you hold up your arms in a dramatic shrug. Your laughter fades into body-wracking sobs until your stomach is tight with nausea. You drop your head into your hands and Sam moves to sit next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you to lean into him, resting his chin on your head.

“This is fucking crazy,” Dean scoffs, pacing away from the group to recoup his thoughts. He knows they’ve dealt with all levels of crazy, but it still doesn’t make it easier when presented with a fresh off the press edition.

Cas whips his head to scold Dean visually, but you know Dean is angry with Lucifer and not directing his words at you. Cas is still worried for you though, not wanting the words to land the wrong way in your ears.

“How would he have planted it in the first place?” Dean asks, ignoring the scolding eyes of his partner and looking right at you, referring to whatever information Lucifer claims to have left.

“Summer, a few years back,” Sam’s voice rumbles through your back since you’re pressed to his chest, “when you were possessed, it had to be then, right?” Sam asks, not pushing away to look at you, knowing you’re listening. Dean remembers that summer, the demon that possessed you picked a fight with Sam under your skin that earned a few days of space so that the demon could do god knows what. Well, this, you suppose.

You’re tired, so tired, and just so done with Lucifer. Sam knows it and Dean can start to feel it too, along with Cas.

“Dear,” Rowena chimes, “perhaps we get started?”

“How long will that burn?” Sam asks, picking up the line of conversation he knows that you can’t right now.

“A couple hours, give or take some minutes,” Rowena nods.

“We’ll meet you in the library at 11,” Sam suggests, you hadn’t realized how late it was getting. Your eyes close and you turn into him, hiding from the stares of your allies and the scent of Rowena’s magic. You hear shuffling and feel Cas’ weight lift away, followed by a closed door.

“I’m so tired, Sam,” you mumble into his neck, exhaling wet breath onto his skin that gives him chills and warms him up. His arms snake around your body, constricting you closer.

“I know, love, we’ll fix this. Just figured you needed a minute,” Sam cards through your hair, adjusting you both to lay down and get comfy.

“What time is it?” You ask, knowing that whatever the answer is it won’t be enough.

“10:34.”

Nope, not enough.

The pit of dread only drills itself deeper and deeper, almost hollowing you out completely. But right now, in Sam’s arms? This is what’s enough.

———

The 26 minutes went by too fast, though you tried to count it down by the second just to make it feel longer.

After grabbing the burning wrap that Rowena left, Sam had led you down the hallway, wrapping a flannel of his over your shoulders. He knew his baggy clothes drowning you almost acted like a shield for you sometimes. Providing a sense of security and maybe even privacy.

Rowena was found flipping through a book she found in the library and Dean was nursing a glistening beer that he didn’t bother to set on a coaster. You were too tired to bug him about it. Upon your arrival, Dean’s posture straightened and he checked you over before flicking his eyes to Sam who gave him a curt nod, working his jaw.

Dean stood from his seat, walked to duck his head down the back hallway. “Come on, sunshine, get this show on the road,” he called for Cas.

Rowena smiled warmly, clasping her hands together after putting the book back in its unassigned spot on the shelf.

“Come here, deary,” she approaches, reaching out to wrap her arms around your shoulders to guide you to a chair that’s already pulled out. Sam reluctantly lets go, trusting the witch but just not wanting to accept the cold air that replaces your spot with him. “Now, take a seat and we will see what we can do, hmm?” She hums, smiling over at you and gesturing to the chair for you to take a seat.

She goes to her duffle and pulls out a box, unlocking it with a key hidden as a charm on her wrist. The box expands into various layers of drawers and shelves homing dozens of witchy necessities that you don’t recognize.

Cas enters the room behind Dean and Dean takes a seat closer to you this time, Cas standing behind him with his hands idly by his side. Sam takes the closest seat to you.

“Now, I hear we’re working with Valerian?” She asks, standing behind you.

“Yes, their levels haven’t fluctuated since they’ve returned,” Cas answers, face not as stoic as it usually would be- more worried. It just hammered in how bad this situation really was.

Rowena hums again, not a defining sound, just one of acknowledgment.

“Alright,” she fingers through her assortment, picking out an item here or there, and lays them in her obsidian mortar and pestle.

“What’s that for?” Sam asks, eyeing her every move.

“No need to worry, Samuel,” Rowena chimes, grinding the items in dust, “just a simple relaxant. Lucifer says he left something and I’m going to locate it,” she lifts the stone and brings it to you, bending down enough to level with you as she explains her process.

“Lucifer said he lost whatever it is, how will you be able to find it?” You ask, doubting the process.

“I know what to look for. I assume The Devil’s been just pokin’ around at nothin’. I have confidence, dear. Now, this will make you quite drowsy. You won’t sleep but you may become dizzy, and it is necessary that no one touch her,” she side-eyes Sam, “no matter how much you sway, I won’t let you fall.” You force a nod to rock your head despite the gnawing fear. The thought of being out of control of your body in the midst of Lucifer demanding you autonomy was not something you were really up for, but it is dire to the situation that you cooperate.

Sam ticks his jaw and picks at his nails to prevent his leg from bouncing. He can’t stand this. He can’t stand seeing you so beat, so taken over, so not you. It kills him that he can’t do anything to fix it and that the thing that needs fixing in the first place is what has kept him up most nights since the wall broke in his walnut.

Rowena lifts the stone and scoops out some dust into her palm. “Kow-trah ma,” she whispers into the dust and it floats over along the lazy current of her words. The dust settles over you, instantly making your head droop. You let out a soft hum, the same hum that Sam listens for every night that signals you’re falling asleep. His lip quirks up at the warmth that reminds him of the home of domestic moments just like that.

Dizzy is an understatement. Your body feels like it’s been split into two, like the red and blue of 3D movies but no one gave you glasses. It’s like both sides are slipping away like a banana peel and your equilibrium has no clue which side to fall with. The motions make a wave of nausea wash over you and you groan.

The groan has an opposite effect on Sam of the prior sound.

“Okay, dear, this might hurt a bit,” Rowena braced, moving behind you and placing a hand on either side of your temples. Sam wants to protest at her wording but keeps his jaw shut, swallowing the words and just watching you.

Her fingertips pressed into your skin and lifted your head back up into place which threw all 3 parts of you back with more reverb than necessary. It earns another soft groan but you can’t dwell on the feeling for long before the pad of her fingers funnel in some sort of electricity that silences you as your body spasms.

“You’re alright, dear, just relax,” Rowena says, almost sounding bothered but covering the annoyance with sickening sweet melodies.

“Rowena,” Sam warns, the word slipping past the iron grip he thought he had on his jaw.

“Back down, Samuel, I need to focus,” she responds, her eyes going milky as she enters your subconscious to explore.

“You need a minute, Sammy?” Dean raises a brow, his stern look burning into the side of Sam’s face. He refuses to turn and face the fiery sun that he’s sure Dean managed to ignite by just looking at him.

The thought of Rowena swimming around your skull, or soul, or whatever the fuck she needs to file through to find what was left there, is the last nail in the coffin of your bodily autonomy. Don’t bother even giving it a hunter's pyre, apparently it never deserved the respect anyways.

After a few increasingly unbearable minutes, Rowena exclaims and rips her hands away. Your head drops back down and shoulders slump.

“Oh my,” she’s breathless, holding a hand to her chest. Sam jumps to his feet but Rowena holds out a hand- a silent warning. “Let the magic burn away, Samuel,” she walks back around to face you, lifting your chin to make sure you’re alright. The contact of her fingers to your skin erupts a sharp crackle and emits a warm glow that vanishes as soon as it arrives.

“Did you find it?” Sam asks, his voice tight and feet planted to the hardwood.

“I…did,” she still looks at you, tilting her head. “It’s complex,” she sighs, rising to her full position and now facing the group.

You can still hear the conversation but, fucking hell, you can’t muster up any energy to show your involvement.

“Complex how?” Sam asks with a shake of his head, annoyed with her vagueness. You mentally thank Sam for asking the question you wish you could.

“It’s like this wee ball of energy,” she thinks back to when she located it, “quite hard to comprehend. But there’s a problem.” Shit. “It’s bonded with the Valerian, you could say.”

“Meaning?” Dean follows, joining Sam with his impatience.

“Meaning, they both have to be removed if you want the other gone,” Rowena let’s up, resting her hands on the back of your chair as she rounds it again.

“Can you do it?” Sam’s desperation claws out of his throat and pierces something in you. You would bet money that this hurts him more than it hurts you. And we’ve already covered your history with gambling.

“Not yet with confidence.” At least she’s honest. “Lucifer still has guards up, ground covered, it’ll take more than just me to access the bugger, let alone destroy it.”

The three-of-you’s are starting to slow and the aftershock of a buzzing current is starting to burn out- the spell wearing off. You manage to lift your head enough just to shift its weight to your shoulder. Sam’s legs go to progress forward but he stops himself, looking at Rowena with a pleading look and flared nostrils, his jaw so close to shattering a tooth or two.

Rowena touches your cheek and this time, no zap. She nods at Sam who took the disruption of shock in the touch as a go-ahead and already started towards you again.

“C’mere,” he crouches next to you, lifting your head with his gentle hands, cradling your jaw to lessen the strain on your neck.

“What will it take?” Cas asks, his hand on the back of Dean's chair as Dean sits on the edge, keeping a close eye on his brother but his auditory attention to the witch.

“Time, I need to prepare a spell to weaken his defenses but…” she trails off. Sam looks up at her as she still stands behind your chair. Your eyes are just starting to register the man in front of you as you gain control over your senses again- other than just hearing.

“But?” Sam eggs her on.

“Lucifer will have to be present,” Rowena picks out carefully. The switch in the room is conspicuous.

“What!?” Sam barks, louder than he means but he’s so wound tight, and honestly the anxiety he got to spew in the one word is enough to realize it was a bit much. Especially when he feels you flinch.

“It’s locked tight… deactivated-,” Rowena shrugs when she finds a better descriptor, “-when he’s not present. He has to be there if we want a chance at cracking it apart.”

Sam’s chest huffs, working his jaw that might really be locked at this point. He doesn’t like this, not one fucking bit, but of course this is how it has to be. Why would he ever dream of shit being easy?

“And I’ll need man-power,” she continues, looking over the three men. You’re now present enough to look over and take in the grim details of Sam’s features, the worry that is changing the very make-up of his cells. He feels your gaze and looks back down at you and just like that, his face melts back to just how you remember him to be prior to the assaulting images of the Cage- just how you’ve tucked his image away for safekeeping.

“Man-power?” Dean echos, picking up Sam’s silence to give you two a moment. He averts his eyes when he notices his brother's thumb brushing lightly along your jaw, wanting his brother to appreciate the domestic moments that make things feel a little better.

Rowena takes in a deep breath, letting go of the chair and walking back over to her items sprawled along the desk, shuffling through her duffle to pull out a small book. She eyes the spine, running her fingernail along the wrinkled skin, smirking a fiendish smile- one that houses maddening excitement.

“Ever fight The Devil in someone’s else’s dreamwalk?”

———————

thank you so much for reading!! <3

>pictures are not my own, i have the originals linked here (pinterest)

>>check out my other works here

>tags: @internallysalad @checkedoutghost

[alchemistc]

hi catie how are you! i'm here to ask for 1 2 and 3!

HI HELLO I AM BAD BUT LIFE'S LIKE THAT SOMETIMES AND I APPRECIATE YOU ASKING!

outsider pov alt meeting bucktommy (eddie's version)

Tommy's cool. Again, not someone he would have clocked on his own, and Tommy seems to prefer it that way, but he's cool, all the same. Charms Chris just as much as Buck does, has an easy way about him that Eddie can make a few guesses at the origin of. He screams daddy issues, and Eddie gels with that. The breakup (one of many, as Eddie's come to find out) lasts a week and a half and then Tommy shows up at the station for lunch to greet them all like nothing's been amiss for eight days

2. destiel post-canon fix-it

(yarrow jsyk the only reason i posted that ask is bc i wanted to share something about this fic and since i never once interacted in any fandom spaces while the show was airing i needed the excuse, so thank you)

Jack is doing renovations, he says, and he needs a place to relocate (store, he says originally, and Dean grumbles and corrects him and gives God a noogie) a few souls while he works out the kinks. Sam blinks. Dean nods. "Okay, bud," Dean says, while Sam is trying to wrap his mind around the pocket dimension Jack had explained to them, that apparently didn't do a great job of containing souls In The Know. ("They keep tearing holes in the fabric of reality," Jack said like e was talking about a nervous Malinois that kept freeing itself from it's crate. "It's not their fault. I should have known it wouldn't work anyway, that's the reason I have to renovate.") There's something going on with Dean.

3. tommy moves into the loft after losing his house (pt 2)

"Tommy, I'm not --." He pauses. Shifts his weight, and stares at Tommy like he's trying to solve a puzzle. It's times like these he wishes he had the ability to suck himself into a black hole, disappear. "I'm not dating," he finishes, and frowns. Tommy munches. Swallows. Wishes he had the energy to get up and pour himself a glass of water. "Why not?" If he sounds a little annoyed, he hopes Evan doesn't notice it. Relieved would be worse, but annoyed is bad enough as it is. Evan should be dating. He'd walked out the door behind him months ago hoping at least one of them would make it out of this relationship with a hope of moving on. Tommy'd fucked a Grindr hookup two weeks after and then deleted the app. Painted his living room and took a sledgehammer to the wall that he'd been thinking about removing for at least six months. Retiled his kitchen backsplash and spent a week reorganizing his toolboxes. Fuck, the toolboxes. He'd had at least ten grand dropped into those. He can't remember the last time he inventoried it -- another fight with his insurance he's not looking forward to.