#I HAVE SOLVED THE DESTIEL

[valdelion]

One thing I loved about Casifer is how bored he was with the whole Dean and Cas thing. How he rolled up his shirtsleeves and made kitten eyes at Dean while telling him everything was going to be alright, we'll figure it out together 🥺, the hand on the (wrong) shoulder. How he literally showed Sam tricking Dean into forgiving even HIS death was going to be a matter of sad Castiel uwu eyes. Fucking mocking Dean desperately calling for Cas while in the ring of fire, "Cas!".

I like how they solved the problem of "how the fuck do we avoid Lucifer banging Dean at this point" by writing him as boooooored with destiel. It's beneath him, he's using it just enough to get what he wants and it's so effective, he doesn't even have to go all the way. Dean is so whipped that just a one sentence reassurance is enough to send him on his way

He was like, this shit's too easy, give me a real challenge

[francisforever2014]

Pls explain the destiel baby I have never watched supernatural and I am v curious ^_^

YAYYYY destiel baby. okay so this is jack . he is somehow the spitting image of castiel in a way that is actually kinda creepy

so basically. LMFAOOOO okay sorry i forgot how ridiculous this plot is. ok so in season 12 lucifer comes back. somehow. i actually don't remember but he's back after being banished for like 7 seasons. okay and he possesses the president. yeah of the united states. who is having an affair with his secretary. and he impregnates her. but he's LUCIFER. so she is pregnant with an evil angel baby. and sam dean and cas find out bc they've been tracking him down or whatever and all the angels find out and they're like WE NEED TO ABORT THAT THING NOWWWWWWW. bc the half human baby of an archangel would be super powerful and it's lucifer's baby so it would be evil too. bad stuff.

so half of the season is literally sam dean and cas chasing this woman (kelly) around trying to convince her to get an angel abortion 😭 but she's like NO my baby will save the world. and she eventually convinces cas of this so he takes her into hiding and the baby is like. communicating with both of them. from the womb. and it forms an attachment with cas (?). crucially cas and kelly have absolutely no romantic connection. like he's jacks dad but he's basically kellys doula. anyways blah blah blah kelly has the baby in the season finale and there's a big fight or something and cas DIES. and yeah this is like the 5th time he's died but this time him and dean were pretty much common law married so it really hits this time. oh and also bc jack is an angel he just ages himself up for funsies.

okay so the first 5 episodes of season 13 are what's known as the "widower arc" bc dean is . you guessed it. acting like a widower who's wife (cas) died in childbirth (jack). and sam and dean take jack in but they also think he's probably maybe evil but maybe not. and dean is super mean to him while also drinking insane amounts of alcohol and literally killing himself on one occasion. like i'm not joking when i say dean is always killing himself. he has a little kit from a previous episode that has medicine in it to stop his heart and he uses it to solve like. a regular monster of the week case. and death herself is like damnnnnn dude your life sucks and you straight up wish you were dead huh? so she lets him live to spite him. anyways dean comes back to life and is like my life sucks and i need a win so fucking bad rn. and then. BAM cas is resurrected. and dean is literally happier than anybody has ever seen him.

and then cas is basically jack's dad for the rest of the series and dean is like a gruff but overall loving step dad most of the time. except for when he tried to shoot him that one time but he didn't end up going through with it and a lot of other stuff happened and god was basically manipulating him into doing it. and he didn't do it bc of #love and #family. and dean and cas have a custody dispute over him with lucifer. and at one point sam and dean's dad comes back for an episode and he's like dean i wish you settled down and had a family. and dean says. and i quote. i have a family. and it's gold bc we get shots like this

where jack looks like their biological son. so yeah. destiel baby. sam is his uncle kinda. bobby refers to jack as "that kid of yours" to dean in the finale in heaven i think but i refuse to watch it. destiel baby!!!!

[chiisana-sukima]

nine people i want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag, @slutsons-blog! Starting a new post because I'm autistic and therefore mostly only care about the "Current Obsession" question, and want to ramble excessively as usual in that one.

Last song: Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Red Rescue Team: Pokemon Square because I'm currently playing Pokemon Mystery Dungeon with my daughter. Otherwise I honestly couldn't tell you. Whatever was on in my car.

Fave color: Purple

Currently watching: Star Trek Discovery

Last movie: Knives Out

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet, tart, salty

Relationship: married x 27 years

Last thing I googled: the word "dependent", for spelling assistance. which is a good thing because I spelled it "dependant".

Current Obsession: it's been spn since 2016. Truly we are the Hotel California of media franchises. I did recently play Disco Elysium twice in a row in quick succession, and I follow the DE tag. I can't recommend the game highly enough.... but I can feel my Special Interest-level obsession with it fading already. Spn has never faded even a tiny bit and I wonder if it ever will.

@slutsons-blog I feel after reading that you're watching spn for the first time, that I did you a bit of a disservice with my Sam takes to you before in that I mostly talked about Sam's evolution as a character as the show goes on and very little about him from the first five seasons.

Gotta be honest and tell you that although I liked both brothers all along, I was a Dean girl until the end of s6/beginning of s7, when the balance of who gets whumped the most started shifting and my subconscious suddenly decided to switch allegiances. It's not that I liked Dean any less; my id just loves a sopping wet pathetic kitten of a man who has been sexually abused, and Sam got suddenly way more kitteny and pathetic after the Cage. So I don't actually have a ton of takes on "what to love about Sam in the early seasons". I do love early seasons Sam too--she is my beautiful baby princess--but my early seasons takes are a lot more inchoate.

I count myself lucky about my id's sudden defection though, because I think we have limited control of who our blorbos are, and having Dean as a blorbo is a tough row to hoe as the later seasons go along. You know how you noticed that in s6, Dean suddenly gets a lot more assholey without apparent reason? Unfortunately he never gets better again, and in fact keeps getting worse and worse as the years go by, until by the last seasons he is openly far more abusive to their joint child(-in-an-adult body) than John was to him and Sam. It's a realistic picture of what can happen when trauma keeps piling up on people, but it's also honestly pretty distressing, especially if he's your blorbo.

If one is in it for the ship, there's some good destiel content in the later seasons, but if you're in it for Dean, you're left either 1) dealing with the fact he's got extremely significant interpersonal problems that he never gets much of anywhere on solving and that negatively impact his chosen family in profound ways, or 2) pretending he's the same character he was in s1 and Sam is the same Sam from s1, only more boring, and Dean is just trying to put up with him because he was brainwashed by John (or ig 3- something in the middle between those two. But that seldom seems to happen in practice for whatever reason). These two versions of the show are poorly compatible, and that's how the Sam girls and the Dean girls end up in isolated silos. A few people manage to live in both, but not many.

Anyway, I feel like without the context of how Sam and Dean change in the mid to late seasons, the two fics I recc'd as Sam character studies are going to seem insanely Dean-critical, so if you haven't read them yet, you might want to wait until s10. In the meantime, the general recs are fun reads and hopefully do a good job of showcasing both characters earlier on.

Tagging (but I would be a huge hypocrite if I didn't specify there's no pressure to respond, since I almost always fail at responding to tag games myself): @adihildilid @aliusfrater @quietwingsinthesky @sammygender @ardentpoop

@peanutbutterandbananasandwichs @schizosamwincester @normalbrothershow @jellybracelet.

[ahurston]

Is Crowley and Aziraphale's central issue truly miscommunication? Because it really sounded like Aziraphale genuinely thought Crowley would jump at the chance to be an angel again, and that indicates such a fundamental misjudgment of who Crowley is as a person that I don't know how they get past it?

In so many ships, the characters just need to get trapped in an elevator for long enough to actually have an honest conversation, and it would solve all their problems (looking at you, Destiel). But for Aziraphale and Crowley, this breakdown means something more than a simple conversation could correct. It means something about how Aziraphale makes sense of their shared history, how he perceives Crowley's worth as a demon in comparison to his own as an angel, and what he understands to be the roadblock standing in the way of them being truly together.

Crowley named that roadblock as he sees it - the structures of heaven and hell themselves ("We don't need heaven, we don't need hell, they're toxic!"). But for Aziraphale, that roadblock appears to be Crowley's demon-ness, which he sees as extricable from Crowley himself (which it isn't). His roadblock is Crowley himself. And if that's the case, that's not a miscommunication, that's a tragedy.

[a-vibing-potato]

Here's the yapping :) (the following day so now I've already forgotten half of the episode but it'll come back to me, trust)

"Mommy Dearest" has got to be THE MOST Destiel episode of all time after "Free to Be You and Me" in Season 5. Like ACTUALLY. The entire time I was watching it I kept having to pause suddenly like "OH MY GOSH IT'S THIS QUOTE". I am NOT exaggerating, FOUR scenes in a row I was watching and then was like OH CRAP THIS QUOTE. "Cas, get outta my ass." The ENTIRE baby in a trench coat diner scene. The Cas staring out the window all melodramatically because Dean hurt his feelings. "I have a painful, burning sensation." Cas OBVIOUSLY checking out Dean's ass. Those are like FIVE scenes that I knew before watching this episode. Like I thought this episode would probably be kinda mid or average (mainly just because it's right before The Man Who Would Be King and I think that episode is gonna be an emotional angsty crazy roller coaster even though I haven't seen it yet) but oh my gosh! Cas really went off in this episode, and the Destiel is great, too and it's just awesome.

But a few thoughts on the actual plot of the episode (I'll put my Destiel obsession away for a second lol).

At the beginning of the episode Dean is like "I dunno guys, the phoenix ash doesn't burn me so how is it gonna burn Eve?" like. Is he dumb? Silver doesn't burn humans but it hurts SO many evil things. Same with salt! We literally EAT salt to LIVE, but it's effective on basically every monster ever. When did we start abiding by the logic of "Oh it has to hurt me to hurt them" like no??? It doesn't??? Sam literally says that, too, like "Maybe it's like iron or silver and hurts them but not us." and Dean's still hesitant?? Like it'll be okay, it'll work??

I also LOVE Cas in this episode (could you tell?) just because I love the episodes where he basically just tags along for the entire case like he's just a normal little guy, solving a mystery, hunting a monster (which is also why I love "Free to Be You and Me"). Like you're telling me a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent is stuffed in the body of that hot guy, and he's riding passenger princess style in the car? Yes PLEASE.

But I just loved how for the majority of the scenes, the four of them were grouped into pairs of Cas and Dean, and Sam and Bobby. Because 1) that means I get Destiel >:) and 2) I like the idea of Sam and Bobby getting father-son bonding time. Because we all know Dean's the favorite, Bobby ACTS like Dean's the favorite. But he also loves Sam. And I think it's cute :)

ALSO this episode felt like the one where Bobby truly accepted Cas as his son-in-law. The scenes at the sheriff's office just solidified that for me. Bobby talking to him about Sam and Dean going to take those two kids home, and Bobby comforting Cas that Sam and Dean just kinda do their own thing? Perfection. Also also, Cas is SO melodramatic in this episode and I love it. The staring dramatically out the window at the diner after Dean calls him a baby in a trench coat. "You don't know that. They might find more... wayward orphans, along the way." Like YES CAS. GET SASSY AND PETTY ABOUT IT. He deserves it. As a little treat :)

BUT PLOT RIGHT I WAS GONNA TALK ABOUT THE PLOT

Eve infecting the people and turning them into monsters in the first scene reminds me of the Croatoan virus (MY BELOVED <333 I THINK ABOUT IT EVERY NIGHT BEFORE I GO TO BED SERIOUSLY CROATOAN IS THE EPISODE OF ALL TIME FOR ME AND I DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST LOVE A MYSTERY DISEASE IT'S THE HOUSE MD FANDOM IN MY COMING BACK). But they're all violent and attacking each other? Croatoan? No, but I love it like it was.

The whole scene with them all realizing they need a "friendly monster" and I was SURE they were gonna say Cas. But Dean was so oblivious! "Those are in short supply, don't you think?" Like he's standing. Right behind you!! It FELT like Sam was trying to lead him to the answer, too. "But we've met one or two, right?" And Dean that fucker, responds with "Maybe." LIKE YOUR BOYFRIEND IS RIGHT THERE HAPPY TO HELP. But then they bring in Lenore???? From a LONG time ago???? I didn't even remember her I don't know who this bitch is???? Looking at the transcript it literally says she's from season 2 episode 3!! Am I actually expected to remember the name of a monster in ONE episode in early season 2 this much later??? Because I don't, that's very Magnus Archives of you to think I would remember a one-time monster by her first name. BUT her saying "I fed." was such a twist I loved it :) I did NOT love Cas killing her all of a sudden, I absolutely get why he did it, and I feel like she probably would have needed to be killed, but it was so sudden it was sad. :(

The entire diner scene is perfection, I love Bobby's confusion over an IPad, I love Cas getting all embarrassed and flustered that he can't search the town and THE LITTLE THROAT CLEAR babeeeeee before he tries again and looks like he's shitting himself. I love Dean calling him a baby in a trench coat and him staring out the window (can you tell now that I've mentioned it probably five times lol?). I love FINALLY understanding and knowing the context behind the clip "So Mom's making you limp?" "Figuratively, yes."

Timeskip because I don't have any big thoughts that I can remember or want to talk about for a bit...

But them getting arrested by the sheriff, nothing new except Cas' first arrest! (isn't it? I think so lol) Baby's first arrest of probably many.

The kids that Sam and Dean find (Joe and Ryan) are the cutest, I know they're meant to make us think of young Sam and Dean and they absolutely do oh my gosh. All the scenes with them are so sweet <33

Cas feels very jealous (well, I don't know if jealous is the right word but we're rolling with it) boyfriend in the scene with talking to Dean about the kids, very sassy, very snippy, but I ADORE him in it. He's practically begging Dean to stay there and Dean just won't listen. It's also giving lovers' spat, which, y'know. Great. I see where both of them are coming from, Cas wants to save possibly more people for the greater purpose, but Dean sees two kids that look like him and his kid brother and wants to save them.

THE BOBBY AND CAS SCENES ARE ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE IN THE ENTIRE EPISODE, PROBABLY EVEN MORE THAN THE DESTIEL SCENES WHICH IS CRAZY. Some worthy mentions being:

"They may find more wayward orphans along the way."

*the finger quotes on "sarcasm"*

"You don't let Sam and Dean Winchester do squat. They got what they gotta."

*the no-nonsense sass in Bobby's "Thoughts?"*

"I need five minutes alone with him." "Cas, your batteries are dead." "Give me five minutes." *SCENERY CHANGE TO Bobby drinking some kind of alcohol and listening to the pleasant sounds of muffled screaming coming from the other room, only mildly concerned* *Cas comes out with his hands SOAKED IN BLOOD. LIKE BOTH ARE COMPLETELY RED. He wipes off the blood (and looks hot as sin doing it) and has an address. It's later found out that he FUCKING DECAPITATED THE DUDE to get the address*

I don't get why Dean gave Cas a phoenix ash bullet when he literally says in this episode "I'm fairly unpracticed with firearms."??? Like???? Should we really be wasting a bullet by giving it to guy who's never shot anything before??? Anyway.

Not Eve literally just pretend-playing Restaurant inside as a waitress like is she seven. But also, go off queen.

THE FEELINGS I FELT WHEN SHE JUST CASUALLY GOT ALL THEIR PHOENIX ASH BULLETS BECAUSE YEAH, FUCK YOU, WE DID GO THROUGH A LOT TO GET THOSE. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH. AND NOW THEY'RE GONE. JUST LIKE THAT.

The natural order thing TOTALLY makes so much sense though. I get where she's coming from. Also, please don't wear our mother's skin suit like eww. Absolutely the fuck not ma'am.

The lore drop about Crowley, purgatory, human souls, etc. was so good and cool I love it. ALSO ALL THE WEIRD STUFF GOT EXPLAINED. Like there were a LOT of loose threads but they talked about all of them and I think wrapped up all the episode-centric plot holes!!

THE. FUCKING. TWIST. That Ryan was turned and Dean and Sam didn't even realize EVEN THOUGH THEY TESTED HIM WITH DOZENS OF TESTS. I screamed. (Also, my sister somehow fell asleep during this episode and slept through most of it??? because she's a freak and does that like how are you not on the edge of your seat, but when I gave her a crash course of what happened this episode via transcript, she literally thought Sam was turned. And I was like. Yeah. That would've been really cool, too. And totally on brand for Supernatural to do something like that to Sam.)

My FAVORITE part of the episode: Dean saying "Bite me.", Eve doing just that, and finding out that DEAN HAS PHOENIX ASH FLOWING THROUGH HIS BLOOD BECAUSE HE DRANK IT WITH A SHOT??? Your honor, I fucking love him, he's so crazy.

The dread from finding both kids dead after knowing that one was a killer like okay... but who killed them? Also Cas' whole "I told you so" look on his face for like two scenes lol he's so sassy in this episode and it's actually my favorite version of him.

Sulfur, demons, "Why would demons kill these kids? UNLESS- they were told to." And Cas IMMEDIATELY taking that as his sign to get the HECK out of dodge lmao. Like buddy you are not slick.

Dean defending Cas saying that he wouldn't work for Crowley/keep him alive on purpose/etc. to Sam and Bobby when NEITHER of them believe him. Gay boy, you just love your boyfriend and don't want him to get in trouble.

Cue: The last scene but a tie for my favorite shot scene in this episode, tied with the scene of Bobby drinking alcohol while muffled screaming is heard in the background: The record getting played on a record player and Cas just STANDING THERE like a fucking FREAK all menacing just LOOKING AT DEAD BODIES. LIKE INSPECTING THEM. CASUALLY STROLLING AROUND, JUST PERUSING THIS MASSACRE. He is my favorite he's so unnatural and doesn't abide by societal rules. Give me more Cas that doesn't fit in because he's weird. I love that kind of Cas :D

And we end with Crowley being alive and playing into Cas' humiliation kink with "Really, Cas? How many times am I gonna have to clean up your messes?"

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, this rant did NOT need to be this long, I don't know HOW it ended up this long, but it did. I guess I had more feelings and favorite parts of this episode I needed to quote than I even previously thought lol. Anyway, @greypistacchio, you asked to be tagged in my insane long rant (I don't know why you'd subject yourself to this torture, but here you go lol) Thanks for being interested in it, I just really love Destiel and Cas (if you couldn't tell).

Hope you all are having a great day :)

[autisticandroids]

free space: medium-sized destiel

so in my reclists for @spnficrecfest i haven't been including many fics that are very "big destiel."

this is partly because i've been trying to keep the kudos count lower (though obviously this hasn't been absolute), and also because i actively did not include any "post empty destiel fix it" type fics in the dabb era reclist because they're kind of a genre unto themselves. nor have i intentionally made space in other reclists for fics that have a particular destiel romance novel vibe. obviously there's some, but those tend to dominate reclists, and i wanted to highlight smaller fics.

so this is my "big destiel" reclist, except i still did not include anything that had >2k kudos, because those are generally speaking pretty well known already.

some of these fics are small and just have the big destiel vibes, but a lot of them are more in the 1k kudos range than the hundred kudos range, on account of being big, or medium-sized, destiel.

in order of word count:

ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? by everytuesday, 1k

a couple of takes on the confession scene. very special to me.

rot and grace by extemporaneous, 3k, violence warning

cas watches dean murder the world. corruption kink.

some dying star looks dull in the light by sp8ce, 4k

heaven angst with a happy ending, post-empty.

one step closer by rhinestoneangels, 4k

an empty rescue. i love the empty geography in this one.

i didn't feel it on the first day, and now i got it in the worst way by wintertree, 6k

meg pov on a post-widower arc destiel.

the doorway to a thousand churches by sonatine, 6k

cas and the deans from goodbye stranger.

if you try sometimes, well you just might find by jenthesweetie, 9k

cas pov on dean's wants.

godot ain't got nothing on me and my baby by ilovehowyouletmefall, 10k

post empty, cas became death. the only way dean could see him is by dying.

before and after breakfast by spocklee, 10k

a silly little case where cas and dean realize how they see each other.

solitudes by ilovehowyouletmefall, 21k

cas sees dean see cas die. a wonderful little melodrama. i actually really liked how it handled dean's alcoholism (not really as something to be solved but just as a... reality to be dealt with) and i'm OBSESSED with the director's commentary. if this had been published in 2021 instead of 2023, every heller would have read it three times over.

powerless in dreams by calicoyak, 24k

a post-empty fic. i really liked some of the cas stuff in this one.

between a rock and a hard place by amidsizefrog, 24k

dean's dick doesn't work. also cas is dead. maybe the two are related.

every single thing by thestoryinsideme, 37k

a charming and goofy season nine fic. dean is a shitty little man in a very canonical way that is also deeply sweet and adorable.

a light above descending by hedderstheowl, 38k

a mark of cain fic with chefkiss angel stuff. a recent favorite of mine. really put this author on the map for me.

with understanding by apokteino, 427k, chose not to warn and noncon warning

yeah it's with understanding. you've heard of it. go read it now chop chop.

and if your wondering which fics (that you've probably read) got the axe for having too many kudos: it was on labor, the bee movie fic, time has come today, and r/supernatural. that's my taste. if you were curious.

[mrslectermoriarty]

THERE IS A GERMAN VERSION OF DESTIEL

hear me out:

So there is this very popular TV show called "Tatort" ("Crime Scene") in Germany. It's been on air since 1970 and all adults in Germany settle down on Sunday evening, 8:15 pm sharp to watch it. The episodes are usually about 90 minutes long. Each week we see a differnet team somewhere in Germany solve crimes and deal with personal problems and such.

Of course there can't be the same Teams over decades, so they change the characters over certain time periods. In 2020, Team Saarbrücken retired the main characters Detective Stellbrink and Detective Marx and introduced Detective Leo Hölzer and Detective Adam Schürk.

(Leo's on the left, Adam on the right)

And THOSE TWO GUYS are the German Version of Destiel. According to me, at least. I encourage you to Google them ("Tatort Saarbrücken" oder "Hölzer und Schürk") and watch their scenes. You don't necessarily have to understand what they're saying (there's usually just banter) just OBSERVE their interactions.

Nvm, YouTube only shows fanedits and crack videos.

DO YOU GET WHERE I'M COMING FROM!?

I'll give you one example here - those are literally their interactions, it's just with emotional music.

"I would go with you to the end of the world."

If you're interested in a little backstory: (trigger warning, child abuse)

Adam had a really fucked-up dad who would beat him more often than not. Adam met Leo in middle school when a couple jerks were beating up poor Leo. Adam knocked one of them down and since then, Adam and Leo have been best friends. One day, when Adam's Dad was particularly angry, he almost killed Adam with his punishments, when Leo showed up and struck the man down with a shovel. Adam's dad fell into a 15-year coma and Adam dissappeard.

Fast forward, first episode: Adam comes back and joins Leo's team in Saarbrücken. Leo is obviously pissed that Adam disappeared all those years ago and they have quite a rookie start. Nevertheless they fall back into their friendship dynamic, which is based on DEEP trust and an INSANE amount of loyalty. In an old-married-couple way. They both have their issues but they just kinda need each other (at some point Adam was accused of murder and Leo broke some laws to prove his innocence)

There's a lot of drama when it comes to these two and their dynamic is just so queer-coded it's driving many people insane. Like, the y don’t talk an out their problems AT ALL but they’re such an amazing duo when it comes to work.

Now, there are some problems:

We get about 1 or maximum 2 episodes per year. (Dont ask, it's complicated) Meaning, a new episode dropped recently and we have to wait another year for their story to continue.

And the recent episode (which ended in a massive cliffhanger) suggests that Adam might start a relationship with one of his female colleagues at some point in the future. Talk about homophobic writers.

This whole "Oh no, I suddenly don't seem to be in love with my best friend and spend a suspicious amount of time with a woman" is really weird because if you look at their history and their dynamic it just doesn't fit into the narrative! And that's even more annoying.

So yeah, I feel like I've seen this whole drama before. And I'm really fucking scared of its ending.

Also, am I the only one who this it's kinda cursed that in 2020, Destiel went down and in the same year, these guys arrived? I know thay don't have anything to do with each other, but the timing just makes me suspicious

[angelsdean]

ok i have 5 fics i REALLY want to work on this year and it's high time i #committed and carve out time and space to work on them a little bit each day / week

"23 fic" aka sequel to Hey, Nineteen. time traveling cas visits again, this time dean is 23. casefic, sick dean, intense feelings, soul + grace stuff

summer at bobby's short fic. slice of life, character study, young dean, coming of age, queer self discovery, complicated john stuff

thee long divorce arc stanford era time travel AU that's been kicking around in my brain since oct 2021. s15 destiel end up trapped in stanford era. jealous deans, deans learning self love, cas in love with both of them, deancas solve their miscommunication issues once and for all, plotty stuff. ft rowena who may or may not also be time traveling, angel lore stuff, akrida-adjacent creatures, stanford era saileen, and a young bela talbot

empty rescue fix it + playing around with the concept of what if s15 chuck was actually the empty all along and the real chuck still kinda sucks but wasn't The Big Bad. big focus on free will and the consequences and weight of every choice as dean travels through the empty (which fashions itself as a dream / nightmare world)

secret project :)

[podado-t-memes]

If someone told me yesterday I’d be prepping for my coding final with a Destiel Omegaverse practice question…

I would have thought they were insane…

…But here we are…

(Anyone wanna try to solve it? I already know the output lol)

[studiogrimm810]

Speak of the Devil

> Too Much Dust // Part 6

pairings: (established) sam winchester x gn!reader, destiel is there :D

summary: you are taken by lucifer for over a week and sam damn near looses his head. when you are finally rescued, the trauma of what was inflicted on you has left it's mark and it's up to sam and dean to keep you put together. after a deeper look, conducted by a certain beautiful redhead, the gang now has a better idea of what they’re dealing with and how to fix it

warnings: torture, ptsd, flashbacks, hallucinations, graphic depictions of said torture

word count: 4,296

A/N: okay so maybe i’m a little in love with rowena….

read other parts here

———————

It’s been at least 15 rounds and if you were betting real money, you’d be down a kneecap and stamped with a deadline for just how bad you were doing. Your head really was just elsewhere because blackjack is how you’ve gotten your proper source of income while on the road. Sam knew this too, he knew you could gamble and had a better streak of luck than you really should- it was enough to convince Dean you were in with a witch at one point.

As Sam lays down round 16 though, his hand freezes- completely still.

“Sam?” You ask as you pull your attention up at him but his entire body is stiff. You wave your hand in front of him, calling his name a few more times but nothing works. You look back down at the cards in his hand and see that the watch on his wrist has even stopped.

“This is really starting to piss me off, doll.” You knew it was Lucifer the second his icy lips parted and sent that shiver down your spine. Your back straightens and you look for him, but as you start to scan the room, the lightbulbs burst, leaving the room pitch black.

“You know how many times I’ve scraped your brain? I’m starting to think that you just don’t have it,” the anger in Lucifer's voice makes you stiff and you wonder if this is what Sam is feeling right now. The lights flick back on but the room is still black and there's nothing except the chair you’re now strapped to. You tug at your restraints but your wrists are locked in place.

Irrational panic. ‘Have what?’

“The coordinates,” Lucifer sighs out, like he’s trying to solve a case with a cooperative partner. The panic settles deeper when he answers your silent question but he then reminds you, “I’m in your head, Einstein, I hear and see everything.”

‘Not possibly everything…’

“Oh, everything,” he appears from behind you, swimming around you with swift strides. Like a shark circling before it attacks. “Maybe it’s just not there,” he says, this time to himself. He stops right in front of you, brows pinched and patience thin. “I should’ve taken advantage of your physical body when I had the chance. I need to get you back to me.” He leans in, bracing himself on the armrests of your chair. His face just inches away as they trace your face with a look that makes you sick.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” You manage to demand, your voice harvesting the weight of your rage but quivering out into a pathetic query.

“I left it with you, it has to be in there somewhere!” He shouts, a deep throttle and he funnels his frustration through his palms, pushing your chair back until it hits an invisible wall. The room is still just black- empty.

Your body is shivering from fear alone, eyes wide and any attitude shocked out of you.

“I’ll find it, I’ll have to,” his eyes narrowed. He’s stood tall, fists clenched and jaw so stiff that you think his teeth will shatter. He’s gone again, leaving you in the black room but not even long enough to filter a full breath before you’re back in the cage. Fuck.

“This is my favorite place, doll, I have all of my fun here,” his words pour out like an adult saddened by seeing their childhood home one last time. “I miss my prize though, maybe I’ll get him back when I make my rounds for you again. How lucky am I that you ended up with my perfect vessel?” He turns to you, eyes flashing with a ripple of red. You’re trying to piece together the words and phrases he’s picking out, desperately hoping to make sense of what the fuck he’s alluding at.

You’re truly trying, but everything is happening so fast and you’re already strung up like you were in the process of being so last time, just like you saw Sam. The Devil is wielding a needle filled with bubbling crimson. Your stomach drops. As he approaches you try to back away but there’s absolutely no where you can go.

“I’ll admit, as much fun as it was to toy with you, it was to wear you down enough to access that subconscious of yours, but I really made sure to put it under lock.” Lucifer almost looks sad, a feigned emotion only brought on by pure insanity.

His grip is razor sharp and lightening quick as he grabs your chin, holding you in place and bringing up the syringe. “This though? This is pure pleasure. Consider it compensation for wasting my fucking time,” he growls, stabbing the needle into your neck and injecting the tainted boiling blood into your veins. The burn runs quickly, scaling through your arms and up your neck. You feel the trail go down over your torso, sinking into your legs to settle in your toes. It’s everywhere. White hot liquid that curdles your own brewed blood, rubbing like sandpaper. You can’t even scream because the concoction stiffens your veins, holding you in place like you’re some claymation doll stood up by chicken wire.

Lucifer smashes the needle in the far end of the cage and you see Sam again. A figment of him at least. He’s curled in a corner, hugging his knees close but his face is blank as he stares out to nothing. He’s so still, almost like the Sam who dealt you bad hand after bad hand, except at least this Sam was breathing- though shuddering.

“There has to be a way to get those coordinates and I will find it,” Lucifer says, ignoring the racing questions plaguing your mind, begging for more explanation. “I left them with you for a reason. I should’ve known you’d be just as useless as a lockbox.” Lucifer grabs a knife, a simple one but you already know what’s coming next. What you still didn’t know though, is how Lucifer left coordinates with you.

He slices at your skin, watching the rotted trails of your once pumping veins dust out of your skin with admiration- crumbling out as they fall to the iron floor. He repeats this process over and over, collecting pile after pile onto the floor until you’re more slice than stitch. Still unable to scream, all you can do is endure. That is until he fixes you back up just to start again.

With a fresh body, you’re still strung up like a pig to bleed. Lucifer paces back to an instrument cart that he just manifested. He twirls his fingers over the items, piecing together his thoughts as he tries to find the brush to paint his art. You as his canvas.

“Maybe if I get you back to me, I could pluck it outta you,” he picks up a cork opener, “then you’ll remember,” he ponders, setting up the tip on one of your ribs, starting to turn. This time you can scream and you take advantage. The spiral digs through your skin and into the rib, anchoring into it just as he flips the wings of the device and snaps the bone, ripping a fresh scream from your throat. You pant as he fully removes the tool and inspects the blood dripping from it, bone marrow decorating it like sprinkles on a cake.

Sam is unfazed by the screams.

Lucifer sniffs the air, his nose scrunching as he looks right into your eyes with an annoyed glare, tilting his head. “They’re doing something new,” he offers no clarification, “I will get those numbers, even if it’s the last words you utter.”

———

You wake up with a start, jolting out from your position in bed with a racing heart and the look of a wild animal. You hear voices around you but your ears are ringing and your body is being stubborn with allowing you to catch up with your change of scenery.

Once you get a few gulped breaths, you can look around at the people gathered at your bedside- Sam, Dean, Cas… and Rowena. You look at each of them individually, taking in enough of their image to solidify their presence in your space.

“How’re you feeling?” Sam asks and you pull your attention back to him, letting your breaths come slower and slower.

“How long was I out?” You look down at the lack of blankets, you’re still in the same clothes.

“About an hour, Rowena cooked you up a spell to keep Lucifer away for now,” Sam explains, shifting his gaze over to the redhead who you’d admit made you consider a thing or two, once or twice. Sometimes she looked at you like she read those thoughts too.

“For now?” You ask.

“It’ll burn like sage, as long as it’s goin’, pesky devil ‘ll be at bay,” Rowena explained and you notice the distinct smell- overpowering. “Ginger and lavender, dear.” She points to the platter holding the bundle of herbs that smoke like incense.

“No sigil?” You ask, looking up at the angel who steps out in front of Dean whose hand resting on the angel's hip falls as they part.

“No sigil,” Cas attests, sitting next to you on the edge of the bed. Your shoulders slump with a relieved breath, your wrists wrapped with your cold fingers to ground you as much as they can.

“We were playing cards and you just passed out. Are you okay?” Sam asks, his hand reaching to rest on your thigh. The pain in his eyes shows the worry that almost drains the color from them. It makes you feel worse.

You scoot back so that you’re resting against the headboard, staring down at your hands. Images of Sam in the cage flash through your mind and you can’t bring yourself to look at him. You could convince yourself that Lucifer was just setting up a scene for you to observe but why would he have to? He has 120 years to pull memories from. You honestly preferred the physical torture he inflicted than that.

“He’s trying to find something,” your teeth chat against each other, jaw stuttering into the solid row. A nervous tick that you just picked up, another courtesy of The Devil.

Your words make Sam tense and Rowena’s head tilt in interest beyond a masked worry for your well being.

“Find something?” Sam asks, voice soft as he uses his other hand to push back some of your hair, just another reminder that he’s there for you.

“He says he-,” you want to make sure you get this right, “that he left something with me and he’s trying to find it. Like a lockbox, he said,” your voice gets softer as you lose your confidence in what you’re saying. It’s not that you’re saying it wrong per se, it's just that the harsh reality that hangs over you with your statement makes you want to shrink up like your veins and puff away into massless dust. Into nothing.

“He’s taking his sweet time, why’s he need so much from you?” Dean says, voice gruff and assertive as always, but he makes a point to tone it down for now. For you.

“I don’t know, but he’s getting desperate,” you breathe out mirthlessly. “I mean why is he just now telling me? Why wait? Why- I don’t know, let me live?” Your eyes widen, glossing over, “Why torture me in my mind? Why not the real deal?” Your face twists with a cracked smile that spits out dry giggles as you hold up your arms in a dramatic shrug. Your laughter fades into body-wracking sobs until your stomach is tight with nausea. You drop your head into your hands and Sam moves to sit next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you to lean into him, resting his chin on your head.

“This is fucking crazy,” Dean scoffs, pacing away from the group to recoup his thoughts. He knows they’ve dealt with all levels of crazy, but it still doesn’t make it easier when presented with a fresh off the press edition.

Cas whips his head to scold Dean visually, but you know Dean is angry with Lucifer and not directing his words at you. Cas is still worried for you though, not wanting the words to land the wrong way in your ears.

“How would he have planted it in the first place?” Dean asks, ignoring the scolding eyes of his partner and looking right at you, referring to whatever information Lucifer claims to have left.

“Summer, a few years back,” Sam’s voice rumbles through your back since you’re pressed to his chest, “when you were possessed, it had to be then, right?” Sam asks, not pushing away to look at you, knowing you’re listening. Dean remembers that summer, the demon that possessed you picked a fight with Sam under your skin that earned a few days of space so that the demon could do god knows what. Well, this, you suppose.

You’re tired, so tired, and just so done with Lucifer. Sam knows it and Dean can start to feel it too, along with Cas.

“Dear,” Rowena chimes, “perhaps we get started?”

“How long will that burn?” Sam asks, picking up the line of conversation he knows that you can’t right now.

“A couple hours, give or take some minutes,” Rowena nods.

“We’ll meet you in the library at 11,” Sam suggests, you hadn’t realized how late it was getting. Your eyes close and you turn into him, hiding from the stares of your allies and the scent of Rowena’s magic. You hear shuffling and feel Cas’ weight lift away, followed by a closed door.

“I’m so tired, Sam,” you mumble into his neck, exhaling wet breath onto his skin that gives him chills and warms him up. His arms snake around your body, constricting you closer.

“I know, love, we’ll fix this. Just figured you needed a minute,” Sam cards through your hair, adjusting you both to lay down and get comfy.

“What time is it?” You ask, knowing that whatever the answer is it won’t be enough.

“10:34.”

Nope, not enough.

The pit of dread only drills itself deeper and deeper, almost hollowing you out completely. But right now, in Sam’s arms? This is what’s enough.

———

The 26 minutes went by too fast, though you tried to count it down by the second just to make it feel longer.

After grabbing the burning wrap that Rowena left, Sam had led you down the hallway, wrapping a flannel of his over your shoulders. He knew his baggy clothes drowning you almost acted like a shield for you sometimes. Providing a sense of security and maybe even privacy.

Rowena was found flipping through a book she found in the library and Dean was nursing a glistening beer that he didn’t bother to set on a coaster. You were too tired to bug him about it. Upon your arrival, Dean’s posture straightened and he checked you over before flicking his eyes to Sam who gave him a curt nod, working his jaw.

Dean stood from his seat, walked to duck his head down the back hallway. “Come on, sunshine, get this show on the road,” he called for Cas.

Rowena smiled warmly, clasping her hands together after putting the book back in its unassigned spot on the shelf.

“Come here, deary,” she approaches, reaching out to wrap her arms around your shoulders to guide you to a chair that’s already pulled out. Sam reluctantly lets go, trusting the witch but just not wanting to accept the cold air that replaces your spot with him. “Now, take a seat and we will see what we can do, hmm?” She hums, smiling over at you and gesturing to the chair for you to take a seat.

She goes to her duffle and pulls out a box, unlocking it with a key hidden as a charm on her wrist. The box expands into various layers of drawers and shelves homing dozens of witchy necessities that you don’t recognize.

Cas enters the room behind Dean and Dean takes a seat closer to you this time, Cas standing behind him with his hands idly by his side. Sam takes the closest seat to you.

“Now, I hear we’re working with Valerian?” She asks, standing behind you.

“Yes, their levels haven’t fluctuated since they’ve returned,” Cas answers, face not as stoic as it usually would be- more worried. It just hammered in how bad this situation really was.

Rowena hums again, not a defining sound, just one of acknowledgment.

“Alright,” she fingers through her assortment, picking out an item here or there, and lays them in her obsidian mortar and pestle.

“What’s that for?” Sam asks, eyeing her every move.

“No need to worry, Samuel,” Rowena chimes, grinding the items in dust, “just a simple relaxant. Lucifer says he left something and I’m going to locate it,” she lifts the stone and brings it to you, bending down enough to level with you as she explains her process.

“Lucifer said he lost whatever it is, how will you be able to find it?” You ask, doubting the process.

“I know what to look for. I assume The Devil’s been just pokin’ around at nothin’. I have confidence, dear. Now, this will make you quite drowsy. You won’t sleep but you may become dizzy, and it is necessary that no one touch her,” she side-eyes Sam, “no matter how much you sway, I won’t let you fall.” You force a nod to rock your head despite the gnawing fear. The thought of being out of control of your body in the midst of Lucifer demanding you autonomy was not something you were really up for, but it is dire to the situation that you cooperate.

Sam ticks his jaw and picks at his nails to prevent his leg from bouncing. He can’t stand this. He can’t stand seeing you so beat, so taken over, so not you. It kills him that he can’t do anything to fix it and that the thing that needs fixing in the first place is what has kept him up most nights since the wall broke in his walnut.

Rowena lifts the stone and scoops out some dust into her palm. “Kow-trah ma,” she whispers into the dust and it floats over along the lazy current of her words. The dust settles over you, instantly making your head droop. You let out a soft hum, the same hum that Sam listens for every night that signals you’re falling asleep. His lip quirks up at the warmth that reminds him of the home of domestic moments just like that.

Dizzy is an understatement. Your body feels like it’s been split into two, like the red and blue of 3D movies but no one gave you glasses. It’s like both sides are slipping away like a banana peel and your equilibrium has no clue which side to fall with. The motions make a wave of nausea wash over you and you groan.

The groan has an opposite effect on Sam of the prior sound.

“Okay, dear, this might hurt a bit,” Rowena braced, moving behind you and placing a hand on either side of your temples. Sam wants to protest at her wording but keeps his jaw shut, swallowing the words and just watching you.

Her fingertips pressed into your skin and lifted your head back up into place which threw all 3 parts of you back with more reverb than necessary. It earns another soft groan but you can’t dwell on the feeling for long before the pad of her fingers funnel in some sort of electricity that silences you as your body spasms.

“You’re alright, dear, just relax,” Rowena says, almost sounding bothered but covering the annoyance with sickening sweet melodies.

“Rowena,” Sam warns, the word slipping past the iron grip he thought he had on his jaw.

“Back down, Samuel, I need to focus,” she responds, her eyes going milky as she enters your subconscious to explore.

“You need a minute, Sammy?” Dean raises a brow, his stern look burning into the side of Sam’s face. He refuses to turn and face the fiery sun that he’s sure Dean managed to ignite by just looking at him.

The thought of Rowena swimming around your skull, or soul, or whatever the fuck she needs to file through to find what was left there, is the last nail in the coffin of your bodily autonomy. Don’t bother even giving it a hunter's pyre, apparently it never deserved the respect anyways.

After a few increasingly unbearable minutes, Rowena exclaims and rips her hands away. Your head drops back down and shoulders slump.

“Oh my,” she’s breathless, holding a hand to her chest. Sam jumps to his feet but Rowena holds out a hand- a silent warning. “Let the magic burn away, Samuel,” she walks back around to face you, lifting your chin to make sure you’re alright. The contact of her fingers to your skin erupts a sharp crackle and emits a warm glow that vanishes as soon as it arrives.

“Did you find it?” Sam asks, his voice tight and feet planted to the hardwood.

“I…did,” she still looks at you, tilting her head. “It’s complex,” she sighs, rising to her full position and now facing the group.

You can still hear the conversation but, fucking hell, you can’t muster up any energy to show your involvement.

“Complex how?” Sam asks with a shake of his head, annoyed with her vagueness. You mentally thank Sam for asking the question you wish you could.

“It’s like this wee ball of energy,” she thinks back to when she located it, “quite hard to comprehend. But there’s a problem.” Shit. “It’s bonded with the Valerian, you could say.”

“Meaning?” Dean follows, joining Sam with his impatience.

“Meaning, they both have to be removed if you want the other gone,” Rowena let’s up, resting her hands on the back of your chair as she rounds it again.

“Can you do it?” Sam’s desperation claws out of his throat and pierces something in you. You would bet money that this hurts him more than it hurts you. And we’ve already covered your history with gambling.

“Not yet with confidence.” At least she’s honest. “Lucifer still has guards up, ground covered, it’ll take more than just me to access the bugger, let alone destroy it.”

The three-of-you’s are starting to slow and the aftershock of a buzzing current is starting to burn out- the spell wearing off. You manage to lift your head enough just to shift its weight to your shoulder. Sam’s legs go to progress forward but he stops himself, looking at Rowena with a pleading look and flared nostrils, his jaw so close to shattering a tooth or two.

Rowena touches your cheek and this time, no zap. She nods at Sam who took the disruption of shock in the touch as a go-ahead and already started towards you again.

“C’mere,” he crouches next to you, lifting your head with his gentle hands, cradling your jaw to lessen the strain on your neck.

“What will it take?” Cas asks, his hand on the back of Dean's chair as Dean sits on the edge, keeping a close eye on his brother but his auditory attention to the witch.

“Time, I need to prepare a spell to weaken his defenses but…” she trails off. Sam looks up at her as she still stands behind your chair. Your eyes are just starting to register the man in front of you as you gain control over your senses again- other than just hearing.

“But?” Sam eggs her on.

“Lucifer will have to be present,” Rowena picks out carefully. The switch in the room is conspicuous.

“What!?” Sam barks, louder than he means but he’s so wound tight, and honestly the anxiety he got to spew in the one word is enough to realize it was a bit much. Especially when he feels you flinch.

“It’s locked tight… deactivated-,” Rowena shrugs when she finds a better descriptor, “-when he’s not present. He has to be there if we want a chance at cracking it apart.”

Sam’s chest huffs, working his jaw that might really be locked at this point. He doesn’t like this, not one fucking bit, but of course this is how it has to be. Why would he ever dream of shit being easy?

“And I’ll need man-power,” she continues, looking over the three men. You’re now present enough to look over and take in the grim details of Sam’s features, the worry that is changing the very make-up of his cells. He feels your gaze and looks back down at you and just like that, his face melts back to just how you remember him to be prior to the assaulting images of the Cage- just how you’ve tucked his image away for safekeeping.

“Man-power?” Dean echos, picking up Sam’s silence to give you two a moment. He averts his eyes when he notices his brother's thumb brushing lightly along your jaw, wanting his brother to appreciate the domestic moments that make things feel a little better.

Rowena takes in a deep breath, letting go of the chair and walking back over to her items sprawled along the desk, shuffling through her duffle to pull out a small book. She eyes the spine, running her fingernail along the wrinkled skin, smirking a fiendish smile- one that houses maddening excitement.

“Ever fight The Devil in someone’s else’s dreamwalk?”

———————

thank you so much for reading!! <3

>pictures are not my own, i have the originals linked here (pinterest) >>check out my other works here

>tags: @internallysalad @checkedoutghost

[ratz13456]

So I'm rewatching Supernatural (because I hate myself) and I'm... so angry.

Castiel is my favorite and the way the writers treated him is so infuriating. His character was AMAZING and they just couldn't handle it. I understand that they had to make him weaker, because otherwise 99.9999% of the problems in the show would've been easily solved with his powers. FINE I GET IT, but they didn't had to make him a fucking joke, a punchile, a mere reflection of what he was... they could've at least treated him with dignity and respect (HE DESERVED IT).

Which is so funny because they knew how to do exactly that, In season 4-5 for example, when he was still at his peak, there were moments when he had no powers whatsoever (when they faced one of the horsemen of the apocalypse for example) and despite that, Castiel was still fucking amazing!!!! he cut off the horseman's finger cleeeean, while being mortal and half death an all, because with or without grace he is still a warrior, he is still strong, he is still Castiel, that's how it should've go.

So It's honestly so frustrating to see how he is constantly mistreated in the later seasons, used as Dean's punchbag and no longer having that spark that made him Cas (I'm not talking about grace)

They could've done so much with him... They gave him a shitty ending too (He deserved loveeeeee for fucks sake)

Fuck supernatural

Destiel forever

[pietadean]

having a live-in destiel bestie means there is an endless potential of spn rewatch nights. which means it's the second time in two weeks that we're rewatching tmwwbk and. what do you mean when crowley aproaches cas to pitch the purgatory deal cas is longingly stalking dean. he watches dean and tells himself he won't ask for his help because he wants to protect him, because dean deserves his happiness and cas means hunting and death and doom and (maybe he could ask him but what if he says no. what if he picks lisa). what do you mean crowley takes one look at cas and is like I can get you your happy ending, I quote "with all possible entendres intended". all of this while cas is longingly looking at his happy ending. what if crowley said that and cas saw a future where the raphael problem was solved and he could come back to dean without the hunting and death and doom and. have a go at happiness. im. hm

[szlez]

Stay - destiel fanfic by ani_ona and me with my fanart Feverish

Written for https://sicktember.tumblr.com prompt. Dean & Cas

Stay

It was Sam, who noticed first. Knowing every muscle of his brother's face and years of studying every one of his tiniest expressions helped, but at the end of the day it was due to that unexplainable connection between the two of them. The strange force that made his time at Stanford less enjoyable and more sleepless. So now he just knows that something is wrong with his brother. And when Dean orders his beloved chili fries and doesn't suck in every last bit in a matter of minutes, Sam and Cas exchange worried looks.

Their case is solved, dinner finished, and they are in for a 9-hour drive home. Another cue that something is not just as it should be is when Dean decides to let Sam drive after an hour and doesn't take a shotgun seat but joins Castiel in the back instead. When Sam glances in the rear mirror, he sees his brother's head resting on the angel's shoulder and the intense stare of the blue eyes.

Dean doesn't wake up the whole ride home. Cas somehow manages to arrange him into a more lying position, with his head on the angel's lap. Sam would have smiled at the sight if he wasn't focused on keeping his eyes open and on the road.

They reach the bunker at dawn, and Dean lets Castiel maneuver him out of the car and down the stairs.

“Get him to his room,” Sam says, his voice hoarse from not using and tiredness. “And I’ll bring some supplies.” Cas just nods and adjusts his grip around Dean's waist. He is taking off the hunter's shoes, when Sam comes in with water and some pills.

“Looks like he is going down with something…” Cas murmurs, letting the back of his palm touch Dean's cheek. He frowns and crouches beside the bed to lightly press his lips to Dean's forehead. “Definitely. His fever is high.” He whispers, now real concern lacing his voice.

The gesture looks a lot like a kiss. Dean would undoubtedly freak out if he was awake. But now Sam is too tired to analyze it further.

“Make sure he drinks a lot. And takes these once he is conscious enough.” he points to the meds. “Want me to stay with you?”

“No, Sam, I got this, you drove the whole night, go get some sleep.”

Sam nods and leaves, though he feels strange. He's never left his brother's side during an illness. Even as a child, he used to cling to his brother when any of them was unwell. Perhaps it had something to do with losing the only source of safety and care. Now Dean has his angel, Sam tells himself, lowering his pounding head onto the pillow. He is out in a few minutes.

In the meantime, Castiel frees Dean of most of his clothing, careful with every movement, expecting the hunter to shove him away and yell. But he doesn't react more than with a quiet sigh, and feeling his skin radiating unnatural heat makes Castiel worry even more. He tries to wake Dean up, but only succeeds in making him swallow some pills without choking. When the fever is still high, regardless of the meds, Castiel's anxiety reaches a dangerous level bordering panic. What if he is doing something wrong? Or not doing enough? He stares at the pale face of his friend, thinking. Dean would know what to do. He always does. Dean dealt with countless of Sam's childhood illnesses, even more wounds requiring various types of stitches, his father's drunken fits and hangovers. But now it's Dean who needs help, and Cas feels uncertain and incompetent. Afraid that he could make things worse. What is he supposed to do? Should he go get Sam?

Dean stirs in his sleep, and Castiel's train of thoughts is interrupted. He focuses on his friend, whose brow frowns, and his whole body tenses under the covers. Hands grip the sheets tightly and suddenly he opens his eyes wide, staring terrified and unseeing through the ceiling, breathing shallow, quick breaths. What is he seeing, Cas can only guess, but he is afraid he can guess correctly.

“Hey… Easy…” Cas reaches for Dean's hand and feels fingers clutching his wrist like a lifeline. “Whatever you see, it's not real. You are safe here, with me. It's just a dream. It's not real.” Cas whispers over and over again until Dean rests his head on the pillow and falls asleep, not letting go of his angel’s hand.

So until he loosens his grip, Castiel has no other option but to sit down on the floor by the bed and try to make himself comfortable. He feels Dean’s quick pulse under his fingertips and watches an unhealthy blush coloring hunter's cheeks. After what feels like hours the idea pops into Cas’ mind, and he makes a quick run to the sink with a handful of handkerchiefs. As soon as the wet cloth touches hot skin, Dean shudders violently and makes a little sound close to whimper. Cas's heart tightens. He puts his hand on Dean's cheek to calm him down, and the hunter leans into the touch as if trying to find some relief. The angel sits on the bed and cradles Dean's head, wanting to absorb the heat, illness, and pain.

“You are going to be ok, I'll take care of you.” He whispers to the unconscious man and feels Dean's chaotic fear and suffering flooding him, leaving him breathless. He has to do something, anything, to help, and fast. The echo of Dean's headache pounding in his own skull.

Dean is drifting in and out of consciousness, never lucid enough to hold a real conversation, just searching the space with glassy eyes that close with relief once he makes sure Castiel is with him.

“You are not alone,” Castiel tells him, knowing very well that Dean won't remember anything. “You won't be anymore.”

Hours go by and Castiel fills his time with wiping Dean's face, trying to get some water into him, changing cold compresses, and constantly checking the temperature. With zero improvement so far. Why is nothing working?

Finally, Cas knows he can't delay it anymore and a decision has to be made now. It's been hours and they haven't made any progress. Dean is exhausted and completely out of it from pain and fever, and Cas can't look at his dry lips and glistering, unseeing eyes any longer. It's time to take serious steps.

Dean is heavy. The dead weight of his nearly unconscious body is hard to carry. But not for the angel, who lifts him with ease, just like all these years before when they were leaving Hell. Castiel carefully lowers his trembling burden into the tube, and Dean immediately curls into a tight ball, shivering uncontrollably. Cas starts the lukewarm water and strokes Dean’s chest and back,

“Easy… try to relax” he murmurs, enfolding the hunter's arms. “This is going to help, you will feel better soon, just relax.” And finally, Dean does. Once the tube is filled, he straightens his legs and seems to be drifting off again. He slides a little and would go under if it weren't for Castiel’s grip.

“I’ve got you,” the angel sighs softly. “Don't worry, just relax and rest” he whispers, gently rubbing his chest and stomach in a slow circular motion.

This could be so much fun in different circumstances, Castiel thinks to himself, taking in his lover’s slim, muscular figure under the clear surface… What is he thinking about?!, he scolds himself immediately. It's definitely not a good time for such things. He has to admit to himself that he appreciates the sight before his eyes, though. 

Returning to the bedroom is surprisingly difficult because Dean, now somewhat conscious and wrapped tightly in the biggest towel the bunker can offer, insists on going on his own. This proves to be not the best idea when after a few steps his legs fail to support him, and he is forced to accept Castiel's outstretched arm reluctantly. 

The angel doesn't speak much now when Dean is able to comprehend what is being said to him. Helping Dean change into fresh clothes, and passing him pills and a glass of water, Cas carefully observes his patient, not daring to think that the worst is over now. Once Dean dozes off again, his fever rises a few degrees but only to break after a few hours, leaving the hunter drenched in sweat, weak and tired but finally fully awake and aware of his surroundings.

Seeing Dean putting on his T-shirt without help convinces Cas that his job is finished. He stands up slowly, mutters some “I’d be going” and turns to leave. That's when his hand is gripped one more time this night.

Cas catches Dean’s gaze lucid at last and though the man doesn’t utter a sound, the angel can hear one word, clear as a bell: Stay.

[flyingcatstiel]

I’m currently reading superbat fics (sorry, destiel, stony and dinluke, I’ll get back to you some day) and I’m having great time with commenting and authors replying to me. It’s a whole new fandom experience when I can read fics just for personal enjoyment, without planning fic rec lists. So much easier to comment, wtf. Anyways, I’m following 4 superbat identity p*rn fics right now, and it’s glorious. What a feast. My favorite trope, so many interesting ways to explore it. Happy holidays to all superbat writers but especially those 4 WIP writers🎄

ETA - here be some recs

ETA, March 2024 - HERE BE SOME UPDATES!

@pinkb00bsocks asked about those 4 WIPs. Here they are! The usual disclaimer - there are plenty of excellent superbat WIPs going on right now, but I've limited spoons and these are the ones I currently enjoy.

The World and All Its Hedgehogs by Ginevra_Benci [M. 8,007 word count, WIP, 4/?] To investigate illegal arms sale taking place at a tropical resort hotel, Batman goes under cover as a vacuous billionaire Brucie Wayne and Superman takes a part time job as a porter. They didn't coordinate this, they don't know each others civilian identities. Every time they talk there are at least 3 different conversations going on and it is glorious. Also, so much lust. ;)

(Also, check out Interviewing & Counceling series by the same author. Clark is having a superhero identity crisis and Bruce is there to catch Clark gently as he spirals down. It has one of the softest identity reveals in superbat fics. ETA - the series is now complete, it has 5 parts and 18k word count. Awesome ending to the softest identity reveal story)

Watching Our Stars Align by ClarkeStetler [M, 28,840 word count, WIP, 7/14] There's a dating/chatting app only for superheroes and all identities are secret. What could go wrong? Bruce and Clark get matched under their new pseuds, and same happens to Tim Drake and Conner Kent. Now fathers and sons gotta navigate complicated relationships that come with secret identities and judging your coworkers hastily while talking heart to heart to anonymous superhero. The identity porn part happens through DM, which just happens to be another favorite trope of mine. [The story is going strong, it has 10/14 chapters now and a wonderful tangle of 3 secret identities!]

(Love) Triangles Have Multiple Centers by frozenpotions [T, 27,281 word count, WIP, 4/10] This fic wastes no time getting playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne and pining-after-his-coworker journalist Clark Kent together. After that, first time uneasy partners Batman and Superman gotta solve a case and their civilian selves gotta deal with the realities of their one night stand. Complicated doesn't even cover it! [The fic is being updated and Clark and Bruce are being put through new trials, 6/10 chapters]

A Favor for a Friend by RedFive [Explicit, 18,286 word count, WIP, 4/7] Omega verse fic with alpha playboy billionaire Bruce Wayne and omega journalist Clark Kent. I'm fascinated by dominant, flirtatious, sexually ravenous alpha Brucie Wayne who moonlights as a stoic, covered in scent blockers thus unclear second gender, Batman. Meanwhile omega Clark, due to being Kryptonian, is much less ruled by his second gender. That is, until he meets Mr. Wayne. This fic has so much lust and tension between the two. Does accidental heat triggering counts as a soulmate mark? I'm gonna count it like that. [The fic has entered the finish line, only a chapter or two are left to finish this wild, explosive, life changing story of two people who were meant for each other. 8/? chapters, 44k word count] The fic is now complete!!! 9 chapters, 56,153 word count. (Also, there's this new TV show about two gay dudes, and istg, they look like Bruce and Clark from this fic. I'm not naming it here because I don't want to highjack the show tag with superbat post, but go and check the tag on tumblr)

*****

And a special shout out to two identity shenanigan WIPs that are not actively updating but are absolute must reads.

ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat [M, 62,737 word count, WIP, 12/13] OK, so, for me personally, this is the ultimate identity p*rn fic across all fandoms I've read so far. This fic has one of the highest amount of secret identity pairs in superbat fics. There's the usual pining silently Batman/Superman, then there's Clark dating Bruce, Superman saving Bruce Wayne from peril, Clark Kent chatting with Batman. And the cherry on top is Clark writing Bruceman fanfic which is basically a RPF of his two friends, Batman and Bruce Wayne. Which leads to an internet friendship with a fellow fan, who is, you guessed, Bruce. This fic has great reflections on fandom and shipping culture. But the very beating heart of this fic is about how easy it is to lose something you wished to have but were afraid to ask for. The fic, at 12/13, is technically a WIP, but the main reveal is already done, and it is glorious. ETA - THIS IS NOT A DRILL, the fic is finished and the last chapter is a super meta cherry on a top of delicious, layered superhero identity and fandom shenanigans parfait. 13 chapters, 76,7k word count.

10 Things Every Brucie Fan Needs in Their Life by pomeloquat [T, 8,956 word count, WIP, 5/10] The main premise of this fic is hilarious and yet so, so right. Bruce Wayne is promoting himself as a nation's boyfriend instead of a playboy, and is making bank out of his wholesome, PG rated merchandise. The chapters of this fic tell continuous story but they also can be read as separate vignettes, so there's really no cliffhanger. This fic is so soft and fluffy, it will heal your soul. Also, Superman has celebrity crush on Bruce Wayne. Batman is amused.

[cornyonmains]

Dead Boy Detectives is honestly trauma therapy for queer Destiel survivors, and this show is about to become a good 75% of my personality because of it. Destiel was the ship I jumped to after Xena went off the air, and I blame the continuous lack of overtly gay resolution in my life for a decent chunk of my neuroses.

I mean seriously, the show is about two male leads, who solve Supernatural crimes together, and have an inexplicable and profound bond that transcends the immediate and physical nature of love into something that defies the natural order of the universe. Oh, and one of them is an Edwardian twink in knickerbockers who doesn't understand pop culture references.

As if that wasn't enough, the show even has an anti-Becky. Her name is Niko, and she's a delight who offers to help ghosts embrace their sexuality with explicit yaoi manga.

Also, there's dancing skeletons.

It's like I woke up and it's 2012 again. The strangest craving for another hour in the ball pit is overcoming me. I'm going to the bank later, I might even change into one of my Welcome to Night Vale shirts. I'm embracing this regression. I miss the enthusiasm I had during my Superwholock era.

[alphacentaurinebula]

Fanfic recs - AU edition!

In honour of You're the Bad Guys (E), my Cold War spies AU where Crowley is KGB and Aziraphale is MI6 and they're stationed in 1980s Berlin, I thought I would recommend a few of my favourite AUs.

Half Agony, Half Hope(E) by @gorgeousundertow - a regency romance AU with lots of the real life political unrest, class and privilege all providing a great replacement for the Heaven/Hell Celestial System. The regency period is often portrayed just balls and poshos in empire waistlines, but actually it was a hugely tumultuous period. The disenfranchised classes were demanding better pay, better conditions and the vote, whilst those in power feared any concession would reduce their own power and privilege. The result was some horrific state violence, and some of the most oppressive laws in British history (though there's a lot of competition there...!). It's always nice to see a historical AU that engages with the period so well, and uses it to make Crowley and Aziraphale's romance all the sweeter. One of the only fics I've ever read as a WIP (yes, I still want you to read my WIP, I am a complete hypocrite).

A Love Story with Detective Interruptions (T) by @fremulon - a 1930s AU series (2 works), where Aziraphale is an amateur sleuth in the vein of Miss Marple, exonerating the wrongfully accused (ie, Crowley), and solving house party murders willy nilly. The plots are based on Golden Age of Detective Fiction books (Dorothy Sayers and Agatha Chistie, specifically) and are delightful. The romance is definitely slow burn, but absolutely lovely.

South Downs (E) by @summerofspock - Crowley and Aziraphale star in a historical Bridgerton-esque miniseries, except it's gay. (I would watch the fuck out of that, just saying). Sometimes art mirrors life - sometimes life mirrors art! I love this one and I would legitimately like to watch the TV show they're supposed to be in.

Sit Tight, Take Hold (E) by @nieded - OK this one is not even remotely historical and, like, I hate cars and formula one holds zero interest to me...and yet I INHALED this formula one AU with Crowley and Aziraphale as drivers on opposing teams. Like...I really cared who won...a car race???? Features Gabriel and Sandalphone being true twats, which I must admit I enjoy.

Slow Show (E) by @mia-ugly - And finally, of course, Slow Show. Sure this one is not exactly an undiscovered gem but I still love it and if, in some wild, unreasonable twist of fate you haven't read it, you definitely should!

...plus one last rec - The Leap, by - @friendofcarlottathis is a Destiel fic, not Good Omens. But it is a historical romance AU about Cold War Berlin (in the 1960s, rather than 1980s, and there are no spies, but it is SO excellent for historical detail, especially life in East Germany). And in my opinion you only need to watch a few Castiel and Dean clips on youtube and you're ready to read Destiel AUs. I have only watched a season or so of Supernatural myself 🤷‍♀️

What do you think, have you read any of these? Any favourites? If anyone has other AU's to recommend, especially historical ones, please do!