#I HAD THE REALIZATION HOW SALS A ONLINE FRIEND

[sleeping-at-sea]

Chat last night my best friend talked about his omori au for 3 HOURS and he only stopped because it was late..? I don’t know SOBS i want him to continue i don’t care if it takes another three hours it’s so fun to hear about this and I know how passionate he is about it, just I love when he’s happy, i need him happy chat

[stevetonyweekly]

SteveTony Weekly - August 27th

Hey all! I’m feeling under the weather this week so even though you’re owed a long list this week--it’s not. I’m sorry. I’ll do better soon. 

~*~ 

Memory Lane by itsallAvengers

Suddenly, he's soaking - someone just threw a fucking water bomb or something, and it's not a big deal, it shouldn't be a big deal-

But for some reason, it is.

Toasted Buns by copperbadge, scifigrl47

After seeing Tony naked and tanned -- all over -- in a decontamination shower, Steve realizes he may be in trouble. Tony, meanwhile, is definitely in trouble over those tabloid pictures of him sunbathing nude. The solution is clearly a tropical island getaway.

Tenth Time Lucky by itsallAvengers

Steve just wants to propose to Tony.

If only he didn't keep getting fucking interrupted-

I Am One With What I Am by Kiyaar 

After the mess in Washington, Steve and Tony try to carve out a little life for themselves, a place to heal, out of the spotlight.

If only the original Tony’s shadow wasn't permanently between them.

Throw a Little Hot Rod Red in There by FestiveFerret, SirSapling

Tony Stark was pretty sure that the absolute worst time to get asked out by an incredibly talented, good-looking artist, who likes to paint - and defend - Iron Man, is when he's dying of palladium poisoning.

Vice Versa by AvocadoLove

During an alien invasion, Tony is transported to an alternate universe where Steve is Iron Man and he is Captain America.

Also, Captain Stark and CEO Steve Rogers are together on the sly. Awkward.

I Wanted It To Be You by complicationstoo 

After Civil War, Tony and Steve are both a bit of a mess. Guilt and loneliness threaten to break them both, but each find comfort in the emails of strangers they meet online. Tony writes to Sal, and Steve writes to Thomas, and neither of them have a clue who's actually on the other side.

Antoshka by LokasennaHiddleston

Tony does not know what to make of the Winter Soldier's story. For Steve's sake, he's trying to help. For Steve's sake, he's trying to find Bucky Barnes and bring him back. But when an Avengers raid on a Hydra base leads to an unexpected discovery, Tony will find that Bucky Barnes may just be more than just his lover's best friend.

Mental note: Scrap all footage of him hitting on Natasha. That's just awkward.

Through A Lens by itsallAvengers

"Okay- so this is the first option- I've got to go to this huge family meal in a few weeks, and so I'm looking for a shirt that just screams 'I am the family disappointment', you know? Does the bright pink work, do you think?"

Steve shrugged. "Uhh, well, I'd say pink probably would? It's hard to say, I mean, I'm colour-blind, maybe you need Natasha's input. Hell, Clint's always good with 'family disappointment' fashion, shall I grab him-"

"Wait," Tony cut him off, face completely blank and shirt half way off his body. "You're... you're fucking with me, right?"

"Huh? I mean, Clint's family is fucked up on a normal day, so it's not really-"

"No, not that, the other thing. The colour-blind thing," Tony said, stepping out of the changing room with his shirt still hanging around his neck in order to grab Steve's arms. "Please, please God tell me that I haven't spent the last two years of my life assuming you could see colour. Please."

If you like Piña Coladas... by itsallAvengers 

After being essentially blackmailed onto a first-class cruise by Bucky under the guise of 'taking a vacation' and 'getting some well-earned rest' or whatever stupid bullshit it was that his dumb best friend told him, Steve Rogers ends up alone, on a boat heading to the Caribbean. He gets on expecting to hate it.

He does.

There is one good thing about the trip, though.

patchwork people by itsallAvengers

It was a pretty well-known fact that Tony Stark had control issues.

It was far less well-known why, though.

Our rain-washed histories (don't need to be told) by sirona

Dumped by SHIELD into the real world of the 21st Century, Steve must learn how to live a normal life again, and rediscover the things that make it worth embracing.

Science and Progress (do not speak as loud as my heart) by sirona

Steve's body is not the only thing affected by the Super Soldier Serum.

I wanna hold your hand by sirona

No one understands what it's like growing up rich and yet more alone than anyone should be able to stand - except for people who grew up just like you, that is. In which Tony Stark goes to Oxford University and meets people and makes enemies and makes friends and changes people's minds and falls in love - amongst other tales of mishap and adventure.

you can call me babe for the weekend by complicationstoo 

Tony left his small town for Los Angeles after high school, leaving behind everything to pursue his dream. Ten years later, he comes back for the first time and finds that some things are impossible to let go of.

Brave New World by valdomarx for enkiduu

Captain Hydra, the Avengers' long-time foe, and Iron Man, the mysterious masked Avenger, find themselves transported to a strange alien planet. The place is beautiful, but it's also apparently sentient and has taken a perverse interest in them.

Steve agrees to a truce with Iron Man for now, at least until he finds his time to strike.

That is, if the trees don't get them first.

Good For You by youcancallmearrow 

Steve doesn't understand why Tony dates people who treat him poorly. Tony doesn't understand why Steve cares.

The rest is bad choices, good choices, rehab, milkshakes, paintball, YouTube videos, couples therapy and learning to put the past in the past.

Or: How Tony finds his happy ending.

but come ye back by Red (S_Hylor)

When the night is cold and the sky is open, Tony goes to talk to the past Sheriff of Timely.

your ivy grows by complicationstoo 

Tony has been trapped in an arranged marriage for years, isolated and withering under Ty's heavy hand. Until one night at a bar in Brooklyn changes everything.

It Had To Be You (Wonderful You) by tinystark616

During a party in Avengers Tower, Steve confesses to Tony that he's never slept with anyone.

[azirelll]

Story wich i dont have a title yet but i should

When I first met my roommate, I thought it was nothing special, just a funny dude I met on Discord (which kind of reminded me of how I met Leonida). We texted for a couple of months, and when we found out our problems were almost identical about family and friends, we decided to take the risk and live independently at just 16. The only concern was that neither of us knew how the other looked, not even our gender! Just our hobbies and where we were from. We got to know the rest, I guess, through intuition. We found a nice, cheap apartment in the middle of the city, a real deal for students like us. And now, here I am on a train to Bern, meeting someone I have no idea what they might look like. But I'm more scared of the people in the train station, who all look classy and stylish. While there's me with big baggage and a hiking backpack full of clothes, I'm trying to find the right bus to get to the apartment.

After several 15-minute bus rides, I arrive at the street. It's a modern apartment complex. I get inside and already notice that our names are already written on the postbox: "Salvator Pontefice and Sally Bridges. "I guess that is Ally's name (his name is Ally<3 on Discord). Here, I started thinking, "Is it really just a dude I met online?" But then I forget everything and call him for the first time. "Hello, who is this?" said a rather smooth, feminine voice. I respond in a careless and chilled tone, "I'm Sal; remember on Discord with our whole plan? “Ohh, I'm already inside. Hold on, I'll help you carry your things," then she quickly hung up. Like, is she stressed?

She slowly walked to the entrance and yes, I’m saying she because my dumb ass just now realized it’s a 16-year-old girl not guy as she came down. She is short, I think at least 15 centimeters shorter than me, has long black wavy hair with a hint of brown like it has been burnt with a torch. She is the first person I know with heterochromia; she has one brown eye like me and a blue one with a tattoo under it, maybe she wanted to replicate Melina’s one from Elden Ring, but her blue eye reminded me more of Ranni. She had a tired but chilled expression and came down in sweatpants like I would do in such a situation too "woah so you should be Azriel right, or Salva" she said as she chuckled a bit "What name do I use”. “Using our discord tags to call each other would be weird, wouldn’t it?" I responded while entering.

Probably im posting the continuation to this when i feel im ready for it since it was a struggle for me posting this (im too anxious lol)

[linddzz]

ROTG (and especially Blackice) was an INSANELY toxic fandom. I just got splashback and echoes of what was thrown at Pia and it still changed the way I interact with fandoms ever since. Yeah, it was where I made some of my closest and longest friendships with people I still talk to daily, and there was a ton of super cool creativity of a bunch of weirdos making amazing dark fantasy playing with the concepts of "what if childhood story figures are immortal personifications of human experience like fun, fear, and wonder?" But I also haven't made as many close friends in fandom because it's also where I had a friend who flipped and said I basically betrayed them by getting into another fandom. The experiences and stuff I saw made me keep fandom friendships at a much more cautious arms length.

The same girl who posted graphic pics in the tags in response to SaL being popular then went on to blame everyone who said that was a fucked up thing to do, and I know I got a ton of anons and harassment from her friends blaming us all for "driving her away from her only comfort in fandom" so I can't imagine what you and people closer to you got. And with all that there was STILL a regular harasser who admitted somewhere that they targeted Pia for their darkfic more because Pia was open talking about their mental and physical health struggles, and was therefore "more vulnerable."

Near those end of the "glory days" I got constant harassing anons over how I wrote Blackice; for often writing it as codependent and toxic, for saying "my depiction is unhealthy and toxic" and therefore "shaming people who liked it" (didn't matter that I wrote it I guess), for not making it unhealthy enough and therefor romanticizing abuse, for not speaking out against darker fics, and for openly having fun with a villain being villainous. It was like a microcosm concentrating that overall shift of online fandoms as purity culture ideals rose and harassment got more and more coated in a veneer of righteousness.

Near the end of the fandom I couldn't post any takes or character analysis without multiple responses accusing me of "using BNF status to try to make everyone have the same opinion as you." I didn't talk about it too much at the time, but the response to SaL ending made me legit take a small step back and was a factor in why I lost the drive to keep writing my long form fic. I already was getting people arguing with me about Evil Boyfriends as a sort of dark whimsy fic, and I was like...people already take this dark comedy vignette series too seriously, I don't think I want to dip into a more serious drama fic after SaL has finished and people have lost their minds about it. I'm amazed you even stayed slightly in touch with ROTG fandom after how much people went at you.

And THEN there were the anons I got that were weirdly trying to pit us against each other?? I think I accidentally started the stupid goldenfrost vs blackice thing because I made a joke about "my koz/jack is Blackice lite bc it's healthier lmao" (referencing yaknow...my koz/jack and MY pitch/jack) and had a quick turn around of realizing "wait you guys take that seriously???" It was all a huge eye opener of seeing that what was a fun hobby to me was taken SO seriously by so many people to an outright dangerous extent.

I was watching RotG and suddenly I could only see the meme with the increasingly large dominos. With the small domino being 'Pia watching RotG' and the big domino being 'Efnisien, Gary, Anton, Temsen, Gwyn and Augus all starring in the same a/b/o fic'. Does RotG hold a special place for you, thinking of all the stories you've written since?

Hmm,

Yes and no? There's an even smaller domino you're not seeing which is that I had written original characters and stories before this, and Augus in particular was based off an original character I'd written before (and not published) so like, Rise of the Guardians didn't *invent* him, I did, years before I ever watched the movie. But there's also dominoes that drove me out of the fandom, and it was my bitterness re: the fandom that prompted the writing of original fic in the first place.

So let me tell you a story, anon. If you don't want to know how toxic the RotG fandom could be, I recommend you just walk away now and know that no, actually, RotG doesn't have a special place in my heart, knowing I wrote original fic to initially escape the way some small pockets of that fandom treated me. Otherwise I would have written RotG fiction for far far longer, because as the old-timers will remember, I actually had a couple of longfic ideas lined up to go immediately after SAL that I abandoned because of well...everything.

I actually spent a while after finishing SAL kind of hating Rise of the Guardians because of some nasty drama and meanness/spite towards me, particularly in the last few chapters, and it took about 2-3 years before I could even consider watching the movie again or write for the fandom again. And then by the time I'd come back, all of my original stuff was established, and I felt a lot more comfortable, and a lot more 'fuck the haters' with some of the stuff I had previously had to deal with.

(Fandom wank beneath the cut, lol)

For example (self-harm and suicide mention) one person would specifically post graphic horrible self-harm photos complete with blood tagged into the RotG and blackice tag/s specifically to coincide with my chapter releases towards the end of SAL - and she was a BNF in the fandom in her own way, so *everyone* kind of knew who she was and what she was doing - and she blamed me and my story for the self-harm, and so I had people coming to me going 'do you realise what this story is doing to this person, don't you even care.' And of course I felt horribly guilty and distressed, but I was also at this point around 7/8 chapters from finishing the story, wanting to give everyone a happy ending, and after posting the last chapter I broke down and cried because I was just so relieved that I didn't have to be tormented by this specific person anymore or see these images as a survivor of suicide attempts and self-harm myself.

But also just crying out of sheer distress because of how horrible those last few weeks were, because like, if it wasn't for the readers I would have walked away due to the pressure and bullying and coercion to get out of the fandom just because I had a story that some folks enjoyed reading. That was a level of targeted hate I'd never encountered before, and have never encountered since.

Around that time a couple of small hate groups started up about me, and I would get messages like 'you realise there are hate groups about you, right?' and I'd be like 'please don't tell me about this, people can hate me, leave them alone.' Then there was the time I just got - over around 10 days - about 100+ messages telling me to kill myself because of SAL and how 'horrible' it was re: it's 'really dark themes' which I find hilarious now, but back then, was actually really stressful when it coincided with someone literally *harming themselves* or posting old self-harm photos on days I posted a chapter, talking about how the reason she was doing it was because she hated that my story was so popular when it didn't deserve to be.

Like, no, I did not have a special relationship with Rise of the Guardians by then, or the fandom. I hated it. It's why I stopped writing for it when previously I literally had so many ideas I wanted to write for Jack/Pitch. For years after that. I would remember the good memories I'd made with SAL, but a lot of readers followed me into original works. And otherwise, all I remembered was being forced to see those photos and this person's tags if I went into the tags to look for fanart to share and promote. I'd made some very good friends (some very best friends, actually), and some of us got the hell out of that fandom as fast as we possibly could to escape these people.

So like, I would love to say that like, I feel nothing but fond memories thinking of the influence Rise of the Guardians has had on me, but no fandom that I've ever been in has ever had this kind of level of underground viciousness that developed as the story gained momentum.

When I wrote The Golden Age that Never Was I was truly detached from the fandom and the movie. I was writing based on my memories and feelings of the characters. I didn't look in the tags like I used to, and instead looked for when I was mentioned directly. I had a spike of anxiety every time I got an anon message while writing it, and I had to like...avoid fics and a bunch of other stuff to get through it.

I have watched Rise of the Guardians since and I do really enjoy it, but...I don't see the dominoes the same way you do anon, probably because of the way it all happened in my head, though I do think putting original writing on AO3 happened partly because I was in a hurry to get out of the RotG fandom. So in a way RotG is connected to that, but like, only because I was fleeing and abandoning all of my Pitch/Jack ideas as I went (to the point where people remembered them and still asked me about them years later and I was like 'haha oh no sorry I'm not writing those oh well maybe one day!')

Chances are high I actually wouldn't have written original fiction if my love for Rise of the Guardians had still stayed strong. I was ready to write two very specific longfics, and had done worldbuilding for both, and was talking openly about them, but towards the end of SAL I bolted from the fandom as fast as I could. The hate I got from specific corners of the RotG fandom is one of the reasons I started writing Game Theory before SAL was even finished - to cope with how I felt about the end of SAL and the hatred I was getting there. When some of those folks said 'omg I'll never read a story about Augus' I was literally like 'oh thank fuck, I'm going to be left alone now.'

Like...I got diagnosed with Fibromyalgia like 6 months after that, I cracked teeth because of how stressed I was, and I still have crowns in my mouth and teeth removed because of that whole period. I was sleeping an average of 3 hours a night.

...I feel a very special fondness for the people who supported me at the time, especially my good friend Silvia, who is still my beta and friend today. She is responsible for far more of the dominoes that have led to this moment than Rise of the Guardians could ever directly be. And I am extraordinarily grateful for the readers who have found my stuff since. Now the majority of readers of my original stuff have never actually seen Rise of the Guardians or read my RotG fics, and like, actually sometimes that's really nice, if a bit weird.

I have never, in my life, encountered a fandom that could get as toxic as pockets of Rise of the Guardians got, and I'm including Dragon Age: Inquisition in that, which had literal blocklists of asexual people, so you know I mean business! But as a final point, I do want to say the majority of people there were amazing, absolutely amazing, this is truly a case of a few bad apples spoiling the whole experience, and I'm still to this day gutted it happened like that, and have zero surprise a lot of people left the fandom all at once, at the same time, because of it.

[stickynotestoletters]

may i ask for some poly relationship w larry & sal x male reader hcs?

Ah! Of course! :) Sorry I've been taking so long school is getting to me cause of finals;-;

Warnings: Noncannon compliant (their parents aren't together, no one dies, etc), NSFW (implied teen NSFW otherwise they're out of highschool), no weird cult stuff but they still ghost hunt, more modernish (?) phones and stuff

Sal x Male Reader x Larry hcs

highschool

I think that Sal and Larry would have gotten together before you got there

Like, I say gotten together but the way they started it was literally best friends that were super hornknee and decided to have sex together

They started then developing romantic feelings for each other though

And although the sex dynamic wasn't perfect (refer to my Sal x reader NSFW fic) it was good and they loved each other

It became an on and off thing until they actually worked it out

they talked about it and decided that it was better that they stay friends until they can sort out their own sexual desires and endeavors

Sal didn't even know he could do both as a switch and verse so he wanted to just re-examine his sexual self

And Larry was okay with that

So they decided to date but just without sex for a while

Then you moved to Nockfell their sophomore year

and god were you cool

Sal was the first one to see you in the hallway

It wasn't love at first sight really

He thought you were cool and he wanted to talk to you

Then that same day he told Larry about you during lunch

"I want to talk to him I just don't know how to approach him"

"Oh, well who is it?"

Ngl Larry was kinda jealous about how flustered Sal was getting at the prospect of a new friend but then Sal pointed at you and Larry was like "Oh, okay, I get it."

So Larry just approaches you

It was kinda to tease Sal about how shy he was being

Also kinda because you looked rad as fuck

So Larry approaches you sitting at a table alone

You were actually quite chill

You were happy since no one was approaching you

You guys hit it off and ended up becoming really good friends!

So for the duration of your sophomore year and the summer of your junior year, you guys were really good pals and hung out a lot

Then Larry started developing feelings first

And he was super confused since he knew he still liked Sal, no doubt about it

So he was just super confused and conflicted because he didn’t want to break up with Sal

So during, about the first half, of all of your junior year he kept this to himself and tried to keep himself from feeling for you

Sal on the other hand already accepted his feelings, he realized it later than Larry

And he read yp on what being polygamous meant

So although there was a lot of confusion at first he figured it's no different from people in love triangles

He realizes it a couple weeks after Larry and decides to bring this up to Larry during winter break

The conversation pretty much just went like Sal explaining polyamory to Larry for an hour

They end up deciding to just wait a bit and try to flirt with you individually

you know,

because they don't remember that you don't know they're attracted to you at this point

:)

So basically you think that they're both trying to cheat on each other for the week they're flirting with you

At the end of that week, you tell them to meet you together

And they don't know any better than to meet you

And then you come to them, don't let them explain, and cry because you don't want two of your best friends to cheat on each other like this even though you like them

And then they realize why you're saying this

So although this was not the time they expected to confess to you they told you what they were trying to do

So you just sat there

With these two idiots

and told them "No guys, cause I was literally having a breakdown about losing my two best friends."

And they confess to you

and everything is emotional and raw and you accept

Your guys' dynamic doesn't change because you’re dating now

The only difference is you guys make out together and show lots more pda

although you always bring up what they did when they were trying to give you hints

"We just really wanted to flirt with you okay??? Is it such a crime to want your crush to fall for you???"

"When you guys don't explain you're looking to expand your relationship, yes. Yes, it is Larry."

"He's kind of right babe-"

"SAL-"

Y'all spend a lot of time communicating with each other on stuff like that now

Your senior year goes without any bumps between all of you and you then graduate

College Dynamic

so you and the gang (except Ash, she moves to the city of course) goes and makes a college house

once you all move in together there it's a new routine

You all agreed and talked about the move together and what it would entail

And then you all finally realized how different it was from a monogamous relationship it was

But you all had your learning curves within the relationship

You find out more about their dynamic as a couple

For example, Larry and Sal never liked to fall asleep without you anymore

They had trouble sleeping without you beforehand and the first time you all slept in the same bed together it was just... so... peaceful

They'll spoon and cuddle without you individually (Sal is always the big spoon with Larry)

but they just love falling asleep next to you

They also refuse to do homework without you there

Even if it's just the simplest this they're just gonna need to have you in the room to finish it

Sal likes to make songs about you guys

He records them and edits some but he never lets you two listen to them

"It's just embarrassing if you two were to listen to it. It's like confessing my love for you guys all over again except I can't hide behind the mask."

So until he decides to release his songs online or plays those at gigs he's never going to let you listen to them

Larry likes to paint you guys

His paintings of you before the "disaster confession" were okay, it just looked like he was making a painting of a friend, except for the occasional rose

But now he paints you and draws you two whenever he can

He finds it funny how flustered you and Sal get whenever he makes suggestive paintings or sketches of you two

One time he painted a whole sex portrait of you and Sal together (A 12 by 28 specifically) hung it upright in front of the door to your rooms and didn't tell anyone

So after you and Sal got home that day you were welcomed with Larry lounging on your bed with the giant picture of you fucking Sal next to him

It was definitely beautiful though, even if it's hard to call your nudes beautiful

"Larry Johnson, this painting, as always, masterful. Beautiful craftsmanship but please-" "-we mean this in the most loving way possible Larry-" "-STOP PAINTING OUR NUDES BABE"

He put it away to be hung up in your apartment for when you all move out

Non-College Life

Once you all finish college you guys move into an apartment outside of Nockfell

The minute after you and Sal leave to get food Larry puts up all his private paintings of you guys

It's funny to him

I imagine you guys moving to a really populated city

Somewhere where it's a good place for people wanting to have creative jobs but still close to Nockfell

Maybe not back to New Jersey but probably not as far as New York or LA

you guys do all the cute stuff you never got to in Nockfell together

It's not like the majority of Nockfell was homophobic, mostly just the people who went to the church

But a lot more of them didn't think that polyamory was possible

So now it's easier

It's not like you never experience any polyphobia anymore but it's easier because you're in a more open-minded place

Sal's favorite thing is to go to concerts now

And pride

He also likes coffee house dates too

Larry gets hit on a lot though whenever you guys go out anywhere though

He finds it funny how jealous you both get

Sometimes if he wants Sal to get really mad he'll play along

But most of the time he shuts it down before it begins

Sal gets hit on a lot at concerts the most though

He gets kind of awkward about it, he's not going to edge them on but he gets uncomfortable enough to just not know how to shut them down

Usually, you and Larry will just appear behind him and whisk him away

Larry likes to use it as teasing leverage for a good rough one that night but you usually make sure he's okay with it before Larry does anything

You get hit on the most casually

Here and there but there aren't really specific places

It just sort of happens

You mostly shut them down alone

But occasionally you'll have to go to Sal and Larry if they're persistent

And they'll be mean too

One of the first times you saw Sal and Larry ever legitimately get that mean was when you got hit on in a club and they both just pulled you behind them and absolutely ripped the person a new one

You guys really like to stay at home if you guys have dates though that way everyone feels included

But when you all do go around together it's always specifically for three people you never tell anyone it's a date for dinner reservations, you always make sure you go on rides everyone wants to go on at amusement parks, and hey if worse comes to worst smoking is a group activity (if you have asthma or any other breathing condition Larry makes you edibles if you really wanna do edibles with them)

Starting jobs there are tough and all but you make it off your feet

Sal ends up booking a lot of gigs and Larry's commission request skyrocket when he moves to the city and makes a blog about his art

You all get an apartment with affordable rent and one that allows Gizmo

I hc that Gizmo is an esp but I don't know if that's real

So regardless you'll still be able to have room for him

Sal proposes to both of you

You guys talked about marriage and decided that it would be easier legally to just not get married through a court

So you guys have a friends wedding and Gizmo is the ring bearer

You guys don't get a fancy venue or anything

You guys all just have a city wedding

NSFW

So, the first time you all decide to hook up it's mostly just very communicative rules beforehand

Sal is more comfortable with being fucked than fucking someone else at most times but "It's not like I never want to stick my dick in you two" as he puts it

He also likes background music on most of the time

It's kinda weird if there isn't just a little bit of music

It isn't really bothersome, you guys keep it below 20 at most times

Sal's also super submissive

He liked it rough, make him cry out for you two

A bit of a pillow prince

Especially enjoys being tied up by you two

gags and blindfolds are on the table

Although whenever he does feel up to fucking you and Larry he'll usually end up having you two ride him because he gets to be such a mess with you two unless he's jealous or upset

Usually, when he's upset he's gonna lift you two up and fuck you against the headboard or wherever you two are if he's impatient enough

One time you were chilling with Larry in your bedroom and he was painting over his easel

Sal burst through the door where it slammed back on itself and closed itself

He then tracks his eyes on you

immediately asks you "Can I please fuck you right now"

and as soon as your safe word and consent comes out of your mouth he's holding you down on the bed and fucking into you so hard you can barely breath

Larry doesn't mind it and just continues painting with you moaning and being so pathetic in the background of his music

He kinda finds it funny because before you all got together and he and Larry would angry fuck it never worked out

Sal was just being a brat most of the time because Larry still wouldn't let him fuck him submissively

Speaking of which, Larry's more comfortable with being dominant, he'll bottom but only if he can still be dominant otherwise forget it

Larry's just a rough fucker anyway

He really likes pushing and holding you two up against walls when he fucks you guys

He likes showing off the muscles he got helping his mom with handy work and stuff like that

The first time he did this was to Sal when you were studying in your guy's room

You said you didn't really wanna participate today so they fucked like they would without you

And so they're talking back and forth, teasing each other

and Larry corners him

And just

lifts him up

It looked like he was just lifting a bag of sugar up

Sal seemed weightless as Larry just rocks into him

It was one of the hottest things you'd seen at the time so you joined them

You do that a couple more times but then it just becomes normal and you decide you need to start finishing all those assignments

Larry does that to you one on one as well without Sal but it happens to Sal a lot more spontaneously

Larry though is kinkier than Sal in some respects

He'll try anything at least once "Lisa didn't raise no bitch-"

He's really into breeding and long fucking sessions though

Like, lowkey he has omegaverse fantasies

Not because of the weird stuff just because a lot of the time..... they have breeding written in

He'll never admit to reading any of it but you know he has at least once

Super into dirty talk

And he's really good at it

He also had a praise kink and a degradation kin

He likes degrading you and you telling him thank you and how good he's treating a filthy little brat like you

"What're my filthy little brats good for other than sucking my dick so well. Taking me so well like the dirty little whores you are?"

"Yes sir-" "-we're made for your big cock-" "-thank you for fucking us like this-"

He especially likes breeding you and having Sal suck you off while he does it, he finds your crying cute

And an added bonus is rewarding Sal after for it

You guys talk about long-term consent and all that and decide that it's a good idea, you all trust and love each other so there isn't a problem

lol this kinda went to shit at the end but I still like it enough! Thanks for the Sally Face request I really like this game and the dynamic between a poly reader hc :)

-Laika

[onecupofskim]

Our experiences in the Plural community over the years

This post will contain brief mentions innapropriate relationships between adults and minors, and trauma denial. Please continue at your own risk.

Around the age of 12-14, we were very active on Kik. There we were engaged with a handful of witchcraft groups, one of which we had a partner by the name of Riley. Riley was 19.

Riley began teaching us about Tulpamancy. They said it was a way to not be so lonely in your own head. As a young child who had no friends in school, this sounded great.

They linked us to a couple of tumblr posts and a google doc and we went to work.

Oh. Right. Nothing happened. Because you can't force a headmate into existance.

Alright. Well if that didn't work, maybe theres something else!

Oh, Spirit bonding! That sounds like it'll work.

So we meditated. Oh, theres someone here! His name is Raphael. Here, lets put him in this ring and when we wear it, he'll be with us. (I'm facepalming just writing this.)

Except. He was always there. Huh. Weird.

Oh, we made a soul bond with a dragon named Mephisto! Kinda weird that I cant find any information about her existence online...

Huh.. none of this is really adding up.

When we were in our freshman year of highschool we learned about kinning.

We became invested. We kinned a demon character named Greyson. Greyson lived in our head and could change his appearance at will-- Wait what do you mean thats not what kinning is?

Later on we found a game that we really liked at the time, despite its dark themes. We "kinned" the main antagonist. When we would get stressed or anxious he would "shift" out and take over. That's normal right?

Back to the tulpamancy again. Someome had reccomended a discord server regarding tulpas. Kinda weird how everyone was saying Sal wasnt a tulpa even though he lives in our head... huh. Weird.

Okay well. Maybe.. Maybe we are a system. We began learning about systems and systemhood around the age of 16-17. We had never heard of DID or even MPD before.

The more research we did, the more we realized that these weren't kins or tulpas or anything else. They were alters.

They were pieces of our childself broken to bits due to childhood trauma.

Woah.

That would explain. A lot.

We were still apart of the kin community, after finally learning what it really was. We had met an individual who's name I cannot recall. We'll call him Shadow for now.

Shadow was an interesting individual.

We spoke with him frequently about our suspisions of being a system. However he doubted us.

He was in his freshman year of college, with goals to persue becoming a therapist. He was in the middle of a Psych 101 class.

He told us about endogenic systems.

He claimed we didn't have nearly enough trauma to warrent a system, and that instead we were a natural system. One that forms because youre lonely, or need someone.

We were confused... Was what we went through growing up not enough..? Maybe hes right. Yeah people out there have it worse. Those are all parts of any normal childhood! (Spoiler alert. They aren't.)

We began engaging with the endogenic community and were suprised by how much hate they recieved. We engaged with the community briefly, but something didn't seem right.

We spoke with a close friend we had known for years at this point. She had actually graduated with a degree in psychology. We spoke to her about our experiences and she began to tell us more about DID. And looking back on it now, what she told us was all truthful information. Thank you Ali, you're a lifesaver.

We stopped engaging with endos. We found evidence against them. We learned and grew.

We had a few more.. interesting. Experiences with an ex partner but. Thats another post for another time.

Long story short, our experiences with the plural community led us astray from actually acknowledging and accepting the fact we were traumatized. We ended up getting support for our trauma much later than we could have.

This is why we are anti endo. This is why we are anti tulpa. A constant spread of misinformation led us to falling off our path to healing when we needed it most.

[adultingautistic]

Hey! i've been wondering that I might be autistic, but i'm insecure about it, so maybe could you please give me some examples of what kind of social issues are considered syntoms? I tried to find it online but it just confuses me, like, i can understand what they wrote? But i don't know how it would apply on a person, i don't know if it makes sense, sorry

Oh, you question makes absolute sense!  Sometimes just reading about something isn’t the best way to learn what it is, and you need examples! Examples are great!

So I’m just gonna list the things from the DSM-5, but I’m going to give real-life, everyday examples for them, to help you (and anyone else) understand what they’re talking about.

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity

“Reciprocity” means “a two-way exchange”.  Social reciprocity would be two people having a conversation where they both speak equally and share things equally.

This is a conversation with social reciprocity:

Person A: “Hi, how are you.  Did you have a good weekend?”

Person B: “Yes, I did!  How was yours?”

This is a two-way exchange, where Person A asks about Person B, and then Person B asks about Person A.  The asking goes BOTH ways.

This conversation is a lack of reciprocity, and is very typical for many autistic people (including me, lol):

Person A (allistic): “Hi, how are you.  Did you have a good weekend?”

Person B (autistic): “Yes.”

And that’s it.  The autistic person doesn’t reciprocate, or “exchange back” the social question.  We don’t do it because we don’t think to do it, because our “social reciprocity” is deficient.  (that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to do it- we can!  But it doesn’t come naturally).

Emotional reciprocity is similar, and is often called “empathy.”  This means that if one person is sad, the other person would be sad.  But in the case of autistics, we can lack this reciprocity, which means we don’t feel the same emotions as those around us.

Abnormal social approach 

“Social approach” is how you engage in a social situation.  Here is an example of abnormal social approach:

Normal social approach: Sal is allistic, and he wants to make friends at school.  It’s recess and he sees some kids playing kickball.  He walks over to them and says “Hey guys, can I play too?”  They say “Sure, you can be on that team.” he says “Thanks.” and joins the team.

Abnormal social approach: Dave is autistic and he wants to make friends at school.  His mom told him to talk about things he likes to help him make friends.  He likes to color.  It’s recess and he sees some kids playing kickball.  He goes over to them and says “Do you guys like to color? I like to color?”  The kids look at him funny and call him weird.

Both kids want to make friends, and both make the attempt.  But Dave misses out on important social contexts.  He doesn’t change his approach based on the social situation he’s in.  If he’d been inside during recess and saw other kids coloring and asked to color, his approach would have worked.  But outside on the playground, this approach doesn’t work, but he doesn’t realize he needs to change it.

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction

“Nonverbal communicative behaviors” are body language and facial expressions (and a few other things) that humans use to communicate.  

Normal nonverbal communication: Sue has a few friends over for a party, and they are all sitting in her living room and chatting.  She stands up and starts cleaning up the empty plates and cups from the snacks they’d had earlier.  Anne notices and says “Oh Sue, did you want us to get going?  I know it’s getting late.”  Sue says, with a tired face, “No, no, you guys stay as long as you want, I’m just gonna get a head start on cleaning.”  When she leaves, Anne gets up and starts to put her coat on.  Alice, who is autistic, doesn’t understand why she is doing this- Sue just said she didn’t want them to leave!

In this example, Anne is picking upon Sue’s nonverbal cues.  Her actions and facial expression are showing that she would like her guests to leave, even though her words said the opposite.  In this social context, it is polite for Sue to tell her friends to stay, but she doesn’t mean it, and Anne knows that from her body language, while Alice missed that message.

So these are just a few examples, I was going to write more but this post got really long, lol.  I hope this answered at least partially what you were looking for!

[suspiriu-m]

About Me

Hello! My name is Sal and welcome to my blog, Suspirium! Suspirium is a word that originates from one of my favorite movies, Luca Guadagnino’s 2019 remake of Dario Argento’s classic italian horror movie Suspiria. According to World of Dictionary, Suspirium is a Latin word meaning “Deep breath, sigh”. It’s also the title of one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack to the movie produced by Thom Yorke of Radiohead. I’m a huge horror movie buff so expect to see a lot of that sort of content on my blog if I can incorporate it into any of my work. I chose this as the title of my blog because of how well the word fits into the movie, and I just love the way it sounds. Anybody who’s watched the movie will understand, but I won’t go into detail as to not spoil it for anybody who hasn’t yet seen it.

Throughout my highschool years I technically went to two schools. My main and home school was Middletown High School, and my secondary school was Orange Ulster Boces in Florida New York. In high school I was always in media production and art classes. For example, photography, video editing, drawing & painting classes and my favorite was an Elements of Horror class I took my senior year. Horror being my favorite genre, I absolutely had to take a class that’s dove into the origins of classic horror novels, films and short stories. Leading to me finding my favorite classic horror story Dracula by Bram Stoker, and a multitude of stories by H.P. Lovecraft. Continuing on now to college i’m now majoring in Media Production while also still taking some classes in Marketing and Design! I really enjoy both a lot so it’s hard to kind of pick exactly which I want to do, but it’s nice knowing that no matter what path I finally choose I'll still have some experience in the other!

Aside from my education, I love to watch horror movies and read stories in my own free time. Movies in general are a huge hobby of mine and I watch at least 3-4 a week given I have the time. Some of my favaroties of all time concerning classics have got to be the Halloween series, The Evil Dead series and all four of the Scream movies. Other hobbies of mine that take up a huge part of my life and time are video games and music. I have a pretty big record collection that’s continuously growing with at least 80-90 albums and counting. I just recently purchased a few more to add being Sade’s Diamond Life, Whitney Houston’s Whitney and Whitney Houston albums, Lazaretto by Jack White, Texas Sun by Khruangbin & Leon Bridges and Petals for Armor by Hayley Williams. Hopefully my next additions will be What’s Your Pleasure? by Jessie Ware and The Baby by Samia. I’ve been collecting them for years, but especially now since even CD’s are starting to go out of style. I’m the kind of person who still likes to have physical copies of all my music and movies and games so having such big collection is super special to me.

In terms of video games, I try and play as wide of a variety that I can because I believe I can find something I like in any genre. Strategy, shooters, brawlers, online competitive games etc, but I think my favorite style of game is single-player, narrative driven experiences. Most recently I played The Last of Us Part II and was absolutely enthralled with it. I loved the first game so much so getting a sequel was something I was extremely grateful for. I don’t think video games get enough credit for what they do for storytelling. TLOU 1 and 2 are some of my favorite stories that I have experienced in any form of media. The heartbreak, pain, love, fear and excitement those games have succeeded in giving me while just sitting in front of my TV is something no other form of entertainment has brought me. Some of the most touching moments, but also the most excruciating. They also had a queer women front and center throughout the games which is something that isn’t very common in video games so seeing that was really nice to me. Other than The Last of Us, some other solid narrative driven games I’ve played are God of War, Uncharted 1-4, Marvel’s Spider-Man, The Tomb Raider Reboots, Ghost of Tsushima, the Batman Arkham series and Control.

Although story based games are my favorites that doesn’t mean I don’t have a place in my heart for some good old fashioned fun as well! I also really enjoy a lot of the Super Mario and Legend of Zelda games as well. My biggest pet peeve that I have with the gaming industry right now though is Fortnite. I think it’s literally the most annoying game ever created. People spend hundreds and thousands of dollars just to buy skins and weapon packs and I think it’s absolutely ridiculous. The fact that I work at a major video game retailer and constantly have kids running through my store screaming about the damn game at least once a day could also contribute to my hatred. Either way, I want no part and absolutely nothing to do with it.

Going back to queer representation though. I recently watched Pose over the summer. Not only was the show heavily based during the AIDS epidemic in New York City, almost the entirety of the main cast was comprised of Transgender Black women. On prime time television! This is the first show to ever achieve such a feat. Not only was the cast extremely talented, I thought the writing and production of the show as a whole was brilliant. It definitely has its flaws and I could point out a few of them, but I believe all of the good of the show far outweighs the bad. It’s not afraid to tackle extremely real and difficult subjects the Transgender and Black communities have faced in this country and all over the world. It’s so important to see content like this on television as well because EVERYBODY deserves representation. Not only was the cast Trans, but one of the lead writers of the series Janet Mock is also a Black Trans woman! Pose was filled with heartfelt moments that truly had me sobbing in my bed as I watched. I think I actually cried at pretty much every single episode for both seasons. The cast is brilliant, the realism and talent and star power they bring to the show is like nothing that I’ve ever seen before and I’m so glad to be able to see them up on my television. I so badly one day hope that I can be behind the scenes of producing a show of this caliber some day.

While I have yet to help in the production of a show like this, I have had my fair share of of making short films, music videos and even assisting on a friend of mine’s first full length movie that he submitted to festivals. Last year, I had the opportunity to shoot a short horror film with my classmates for our final project. The film was based around a young woman getting trapped at her school in the middle of a blizzard, and slowly beginning to realize that she may not be alone. In a fight for her life, she has to survive till morning while going up against a mysterious killer who lurks the halls of her small town college. Sadly, we didn’t have enough time to produce a full and finalized cut of the film but coming together and working with a few other classmates was still a really fun experience. Not only was I able to play the role of the killer, I aided in audio, music selection, location scouting, props department, shot planning and writing the movie and it was a great time. I also had the pleasure of helping out my friend Matt Vincini in shooting his short film The Cattle Farmer. A horror/thriller film about a boy who is adopted into a family, only to realize that his life might have been planned from the start. It featured a mysterious woodland family who may or may not have had cannibalistic tendencies that included their adopted children. It was a super cool experience to be on a set with a bunch of actors and seeing my friend in action in the role of director. Collaborating on projects like this with friends is always a fun time, even it does get stressful at some points. At one point in the film, one of the characters realizes that the dinner he is currently eating could quite possible be his last meal ever. Which kinda let me to thinking what my last meal would be. After some thinking, I think i’d definitely have to choose my families homemade pasta and meatballs. I know, pretty stereotypical for an Italian family but it’s just so good. We make our own sauce every september and it’s a huge family event. Everybody comes together and one of our houses and it’s literally a whole days worth of work. The best part? At the end of the night, we all have a huge feast and make pasta and meatballs with all of the sauce we just made. It’s one of my favorite things to do with my family and always one of my favorite meals. Not only is it delicious, but also sentimental.

This is all for now! Thanks for stopping by my blog and reading a little bit about me. I could probably keep rambling on for hours but I don’t think that’s the smartest idea. I can’t wait to fill this blog with more content this year and hope to hear from you guys as well! Until then, i’ll be watching more movies and DEFINITELY playing some more games. At this point i’ve been playing the new Marvel’s Avengers video game so, let me get back to kicking some AIM ass!

[tbhwhocaresanymore]

Nancy Drew 1x12

Sorry this review took a while, my TV likes to not record the things I tell it to and I’ve been too busy to watch the new episode online until just now so let me tell you my THOUGHTS about it under the cut.

This week’s episode, The Lady of Larkspur Lane, was truly stunning. I am always a little bit skeptical of haunted asylum story lines, but this one was done really well, and I enjoyed every minute of it. And even though almost everyone does the “staff member is really a patient” twist I somehow never see it coming. In other news, I continue to be a sucker for book references.

This episode had some comedically gold moments, most notably the entire Ace and Carson storyline. “Your ax is huge! Come on, I’m gonna chop off your cuffs. It’s okay I went to archery camp I got great aim.” “Please tell me you’re not just taking me to my house.” “Where would you like to pretend that I’m taking you?” And also between Nancy and George, “Please don’t say I’m the distraction.” “You’re the distraction.” “How did you ever have a solo career?” The writers just did a really great job of having their typically creepy episode, but interspersed with some great moments of levity.

They are still steaming full slow burn charge ahead on the George and Nick pairing. The Jean Valjean banter, her pulling Nick into a closet and asking what they do for seven minutes, becoming co-bosses. But I also think it’s clear they both feel a little bit guilty about it, especially George since she and Nancy have finally become friends. The way she looked really quickly at Nick before immediately agreeing to help with Lucy’s mom? Speaking of Patrice, I want to know more about her relationship with Lucy. It looks like her spending time with Ryan and his crowd had been starting to drive them apart, and then something happened that her mother just couldn’t allow and so she hid it somewhere the key card grants access to. And when she thought Nancy was her mom, you could see how that hurt Nancy.

The whole time in the asylum was really well done too. The living wing was like six kinds of creepy, and then when they left the doors open and the ball rolled out to creepy childish laughter? I had to stop myself from cheering. Sal was also pretty well done, but I have to wonder why is he a patient? I’m thinking he’s either a sociopath, or not all the children died that night and he’s a descendant of the Ropeur family or something. But if he doesn’t turn out to be very significant, that would also work because they didn’t really set him up to be anything more than a plot device. And when the security cameras first went on the fritz, I at first thought it was George making a distraction somehow before realizing it was the ghosts.

Slight tangent. Can I just say how much I absolutely adore how this show does ghosts? Like instead of overdone CGI or anything like that (I’m looking at you Charmed reboot) they take real live people, slap them in the creepiest fucking costume and makeup you have ever seen, play with the camera angles, and boom it’s better than like ninety percent of the horror movies out there.

Ace’s storyline was, as I mentioned earlier, comedic gold. They did a really good job of showing how he can be so smart but also so clueless. He also hacked into the DOC, which was good because I completely forgot he was a hacker. And I am hopeful for Lara Tandy to come back in some capacity, because I am starting to miss her. And she and Ace were pretty good together, up until he briefly suspected her of murder of course.

To talk briefly about Bess’s storyline, I feel like in the future she’s going to be one of the ways they continue to tie in the storyline to the rich and famous. Her, and for the time being Nancy’s relationship with Owen. By the way where was he this episode? Not that I’m complaining since I still don’t like him, but even so. They are doing a good job of showing Ryan trying to be human, but it’s also realistic that he continually needs to be pushed into it from outside sources. I mean he’s been a Hudson for twenty plus years, that doesn’t just go away overnight. And I am still convinced he will come forward with that urn he found. Aside from that I don’t have many thoughts, except that Amaya looked a lot like this YouTuber I watch which was distracting, and when she said “fake it till you make it” I thought my mother had come in the room without me noticing.

Nancy was as always fantastic in this episode, and the continual Nancy x Nick shipper in me swooned when she was about to go into the East Wing. “What about the guy who’s not on the most wanted list?” “I will need him, to come in and save me, if I am not back in ten minutes.” I mean??? And then that ending, the goddamn ending, I have no words. When she fell to the floor I thought maybe Lucy was going to come frighten off the other spirits? Like, ‘back off this one is under my protection’ or something. Then she woke up in some sort of dream state and the roaches crawled into her room and it ended and just Jesus Christ. I’m thinking it will be sort of like this episode from Supernatural that I don’t remember all that well, where a djinn like captured Dean and stuck him in a dream state to feed off him and he realized it wasn’t real and had to force himself awake. The way they showed that sand bottle breaking at the beginning, I thought I was supposed to remember it at first, it wasn’t until the end that I realized it is probably going to be one of the things that helps snap Nancy out of whatever trance she is in.

Moving forward. Next week’s episode looks like it will be mostly centered on breaking Nancy out of wherever her mind is trapped. From the trailer it looks like Sal will get the others back in the building, and there will be even more not-so-friendly neighborhood ghosts. I also suspect Nancy might not entirely want to come back. From the looks of the reality so far, her mom is still alive, she’s together with Nick, has a good relationship with her dad; some pretty solid advantages over her current life with her mom dead her dad in prison and her almost dying twice a week. But eventually she’ll realize that like all fantasies, it can’t last, and she’ll wake up. Although I definitely want some answers on whatever dark force went after her and the Ropeurs. Afterwards they’ll probably work on finding where the key card from the Bible leads to, so I’m very hopeful that episode 13 or 14 will give us some fairly definitive answers, at least about Lucy’s murder. And as for Bess/Amaya/Lisbeth? I can smell a love triangle coming from a mile away. I have also sort of suspected for a while now that Bess and Lisbeth would end in heartbreak, and I feel like this is leading up to that potentially in multiple ways. Regardless of what happens, I cannot wait for next week’s episode, The Whisper Box.

[the-knights-who-say-book]

2018 FAVORITES

My favorite books of 2018, in lazy format by genre:

Comics and Graphic Novels:

Sleepless, Volume 1 by Sarah Vaughn (fantasy); in which Lady Poppy is stalked by assassins and must rely on her faithful Sleepless knight Cyrenic to figure out who wants her dead. Also, romantic tension and gorgeous artwork.

Ladycastle by Delilah S. Dawson (fantasy, humor); in which all the men of Mancastle are eaten by a dragon, and the women left behind promptly elect the blacksmith king and begin defending their home from the curse their husbands, fathers, and brothers brought down on it.

Heartstopper, Volume 1 by Alice Oseman (contemporary); in which an openly gay over-thinker and a soft-hearted rugby player fall in love. (I read this online and you can too, but it is also going to be traditionally published later this year!)

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, Volume 1 by Ryan North; a wonderfully-funny feel-good superhero story following Doreen Green, who has all the powers of a squirrel and of a kind-hearted college student!

Monstress, Volume 2 by Marjorie Liu (fantasy, scary); continuing where the first volume of Monstress left off, with even more questions and beautiful illustration but a little less gore, thankfully.

Young Adult and Middle Grade:

Ruin of Stars by Linsey Miller (fantasy); picking up the ending of Mask of Shadows, Igna is torn apart by civil war and Sal finds themself caught between a thousand responsibilities to their queen, their friends, and their home.

Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones (fantasy); when Sophie is cursed to become an old woman, she runs away from home and takes a job cleaning for the feared wizard Howl. There, she begins to discover there is more to her than she ever allowed herself to realize.

Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (contemporary); senior year of high school brings Leah prom problems, fights among her friends, college anxiety, and the renewal of her dormant crush on her friend Abby — who might just be interested in her too.

The Stone Girl’s Story by Sarah Beth Durst (fantasy); Mayka is a girl carved from stone, given life by magic, like all her friends. When that magic begins to fade, Mayka must journey from her home to find a stonemason who can save them.

A History of Glitter and Blood by Hannah Moskowitz (fantasy); in a war-torn city, Beckan and her friends struggle to survive, caught between two different species on different sides of the war.

No Man of Woman Born by Ana Mardoll (fantasy); an anthology of stories about trans and nonbinary heroes subverting gendered prophecies to save the day.

Adult:

The Passion by Jeanette Winterson (historical fiction, magical realism); a french soldier in love with Napoleon and a web-footed Venetian woman struggle to survive Napoleon’s wars and their own dangerous loves

Jilted by Lilah Suzanne (contemporary); when Carter’s boyfriend leaves him for his ex-girlfriend, Carter finds solace in Link — who had been about to marry the girl Carter’s boyfriend ran off with. Being jilted might just be the beginning of their love story.

Isle of Broken Years by Jane Fletcher (historical fiction, sci-fi); two women from the seventeenth century are shipwrecked on Atlantis, an island that jumps through time, and join the community already there in searching for a way to escape, even as they fall in love with each other.

Our Bloody Pearl by D.N. Bryn (fantasy); Perle, a siren, has been a captive for years when they are rescued by a pirate. Dejean wants to help Perle, but can they trust a human after what has been done to them?

Kill the Farm Boy by Delilah S. Dawson (fantasy); when the Chosen One dies, a ragtag group of questers set out on a perilous and hilarious journey to set things right.

Peter Darling by Austin Chant (fantasy); since leaving Neverland, Peter has tried to live as Wendy Darling. But growing up has only made him realize how inescapable his identity as a man is. Returning to Neverland to be himself, he finds that everything he remembers form his childhood has changed — except for his old rival, Captain Hook.

The Traitor Baru Cormorant by Seth Dickinson (fantasy); a young woman from a colonized island schemes to rise up the ranks of the empire who destroyed her home, in order to tear it down. But proving her worth to an empire that destroys everything good might mean destroying everything good left inside her.

Failure to Communicate by Kaia Sønderby (sci-fi); Xandri specializes in making first contact with newly-discovered alien species, but her newest assignment is much harder: helping to negotiate peace with a species that is far too human.

[dhbelzinone]

𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓯𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓼 (ᴬⁿᵈ ᴬˡˡ ᵀʰᵃᵗ ᴶᵃᶻᶻ)

𝓞𝓞𝓒 𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸 𝓟𝓸𝓼𝓽

Hi hello I’ve never done anything like this before but it looks like there’s a blog specifically for ooc intros so here’s my best. ♡

Hi my name is Sal, I go by they/them/theirs, and I’m a med school reject turned gender studies honors student. I’m currently working on a thesis about sex worker rights so I’m balls deep I can be in the industry without the good money and devoting the rest of my undergrad career to fighting for their right to make theirs. I’m also an artist and run an indie if y'all wanna see more of my muse’s roots. Bel’s been my emotional support muse for a good while and has gone through more character development than I have my entire lifetime, so although she may seem like a big softie compared to the rest of the muse crowd here, here’s hoping she can hold her own!

Bel Zinone Abridged: Devil’s Highway Vers.

Her mama is an undocumented immigrant who fought tooth and nail for her piece of the American dream. Much of this was due to the help of a vigilante organization that helped her flee from Europe, but her reputation was volatile enough to charm them into seeking out her membership.

Thanks to their international influence, she was able to keep running with the Wallflowers across the continental U. S. She soon settled down with her husband, a high profile (albeit black market) doctor, and raised her two children beneath the protection of the empire they built all the way from the city underbelly up to the high class elite.

Bel and her older brother Beau were relatively spoiled children until he left for the army and the family secrets started to leak. Adolescence was already hard on her, with her elusive sexuality and growing dysphoria yanking her identity chains, but as soon as she discovered her parents’ reign over the criminal underground, Bel doubted the authenticity of her upbringing and fled to the southern inlands with the resolve to make it on her own.

Little did she know that she’d find herself right smack in the middle of a gang war of the very nature she tried to escape. However, this time was going to be different. She wasn’t going to be at their mercy.

They were going to be at hers, for she offered one of the few medical resources in the entire desert that didn’t come with the liability of a paper trail.

In the meantime, she floats between bunny ranches, strip clubs, and the odd burlesque show. When she’s not working, she can be found frequenting bars, on Instagram, streaming her cam, tinkering with her Widowmaker, or looking for a good meatball sub.

Whereas she would’ve used her earnings to run as far away as possible from her past, Bel ironically finds solace in the lucrative lifestyle, calling a cozy studio apartment home and splurging on the occasional odds and ends that make the closeted queer life she embodies just a bit more bearable.

Relationships for her? I’m not gonna lie: despite the past rancor she’s had for her parent’s occupations, she genuinely wants to help and support people, patching them up so they’re good to go back to whatever they were doing without judgement. Her view of the life’s changed and she’s come to understand the institutions (as well as will) that brings people to commit and run with crime. She’s yet to make peace with her family, but she’s come to terms with the blood she’s from and wants to make a difference in peoples’ lives. That being said: 

Give her your tired, your poor, your horny

A job @ Paradise, maybe? Maybe she could learn about the surrounding gang activity from other dancers / affiliates or Kimi when she applies?

Maybe she could’ve known Esmeray from medical school?

Seeing other muses in the medical field are inspiring some joint black market clinic potential~

Maybe she could’ve known Rodrigo from when he was doing his work, possibly from Backpage before it got shut down?

On this note, maybe Nikki too? (Hello~)

If there are any other queer muses around, maybe they can shine a community light on her? Potentially while she’s yanking a shank out of their shoulder?

If there are any single muses too, I’d love to develop a ride-or-die boo or friend for her.

Last but not least, if we still need prospects and other make characters I’d be game af to have Beau go AWOL and trade his fatigues for a potential patch (maybe through the Mexican border with Nikki, if she’s gonna hate Bel asdkjfnaks). ♡

𝓐𝓹𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION: Sal (24) they/them/theirs ; PST ACTIVITY: I'm in my last year of undergraduate study and will have class three days a week on average. I'll be online at least once a day and will be able to devote most of my week to nitty-gritty writing as well as plotting. PASSCODE: angel wings and/or crown MISCELLANEOUS: I've been running an indie oc rp blog for almost five years (same character @belzinone) and this will be my first group/skeleton/rl fc rp. I'm worried about being ignored/left behind/largely uninvolved in threads and plotting because that has largely been my experience in discord server rp groups, but y'all seem to have good administration going on so I'm not feeling so worried anymore. I look forward to the experience if you'll have me. :)

IN CHARACTER

NAME: Bel Zinone DATE OF BIRTH: (March/08/1991) (28) PLACE OF BIRTH: San Francisco, California GENDER/PRONOUNS: demifemme｜she/her/hers AFFILIATION: N/A RANKING: N/A OCCUPATION: freelance sex worker, hitwoman, & black market physician FACE CLAIM: Antonia Thomas

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: domestic violence, murder, abuse, misandry, severe burns, sex work Her mother was an undocumented immigrant, fleeing from her orphaned past and domestic abuse in the Italian slums. A headstrong, promiscuous, and violent woman, it wasn't long until she found sisterhood amongst a like-minded gang of vigilante women with international influence called the Wallflowers, well-versed in her infamy and coming to her aid while she was pregnant with her son and escaping prosecution for murdering her husband. Risa Zinone, codenamed La Eglantina, docked in New York city, giving birth to her son Beau Zinone and raising him with the rest of her sorella while continuing her bloodthirsty occupation of murdering abusive men and liberating survivors from their regimes of terror. However, one could only run with the Wallflowers for so long before beginning to challenge their belief system, however righteous it claimed to be. The murderer mother fell in love with the black market doctor who saved her life and once again fled across the country and retired so she could live a peaceful life with him, safe from the constraints and watchful eyes of the sisterhood, but not without heavy cost. She suffered major burns to her entire body by a fire and had to undergo near total facial reconstruction, a miracle performed by the love of her life. In exchange for her life, she'd no longer bear resemblance to her children. Thus Bel Zinone was born on the opposite side of the country as her brother, hilly San Franscisco. She was a wildly rambunctious child, calmed only by the sounds of her brother's guitar strings and a profound interest in her father's work. Little did she know, her living was earned via the illicit means of her parents and their continued association with the country's underbelly. Shambled by the loss of one of their most valuable members, the Wallflowers had undergone a civil war. A near complete overhaul of organizational structure and creed had taken place, leading to an abysmal divide between the matriarchal supremacy of days past and the new order. Enemies of the new regime all around the world were sought out, assassinated, and replaced with a stronger, more diverse membership. During that witch hunt, Risa was reinstated into the Wallflowers with her husband Dmitri and the power couple ruled the pacific branch. The Zinone's hid their criminal affiliations well. Dmitri, a renowned surgeon specializing in the central nervous system, Risa, an uptown socialite who moonlighted cabaret clubs as a jazz singer. Their children had a generous, almost spotless adolescence until Beau graduated high school and joined the military. He was an upstanding, self-righteous man, yet his fatigues all but killed the respect his little sister had for him. As the Zinone siblings grew up, their parents had to try all that much harder to hide their criminal affiliations, often leaving the two with ample bonding time and hiding various criminal survival skills (like how to fight and use firearms among other things) under the guise of "street smarts". Combined with her surfacing struggles with her sexuality and gender identity, Beau's abandonment was very hard on Bel. Her high school antics began to resemble those of her mother during her youth, starting fights, finishing others' fights, and getting dress coded nearly every day. If not for physical altercations, the young lady spent most of her time in the principal's office for getting into arguments with teachers and staff over technicalities in her STEM courses and exposing discrimination in curriculums and attitudes throughout. If not for her parents' powerful influence, she never would've dodged juvie, let alone made it to college. Fortunately, she found her calling and started settling down as soon as her father invited her to his workplace in the hospital. College was a breeze for her, even as a fierce insistence to be independent led to her paying her own tuition. She was no party animal or sorority sister, but the continuing troubles she had with her sexuality and gender identity pushed her towards casual sex work and the porn industry when work-study wasn't enough. Bel was steadily making her way through adult life, planning to devote the rest of it to medicine like her father. However, as she started having to use her special "survival skills" more and more, she slowly began to realize there was more to her parents than she thought. The Wallflowers were growing in influence, and La Eglantina's daughter was growing a bounty on her head as well. By the time she cornered her parents with the truth, she was already well into medical school and bore nods of her mother's pseudonym and her father's occupation on her back. The betrayal she felt when her brother left her resurfaced as she uncovered her parents lies, spurring her to cut her familial ties and live her own life exclusively by her own means. Bel rejected her father's footsteps in favor of sex work, something she pursued entirely of her own volition, and eventually found herself amongst the "bunny ranches" in Las Vegas, where her life in the crossfire between the Sinners and Jokers would begin. CHARACTER QUOTE: "Do no harm but take no shit." CHARACTER ANTHEM: Half God Half Devil｜In This Moment

EDIT: Risa Zinone fled from Europe as a result of Romani persecution.

P.S.: I reiterate that this is my first group/skeleton/rl fc rp. This is all pretty overwhelming so please have patience with me and for those of y’all who have a lot of experience with these things, please help me out <3

[go-diane-winchester]

5 Reasons why Supernatural is not queer baiting you [and is not stuck in the closet]

This is an edited repost.

Interpretation of any piece of art and literature is one of the fun aspects of being human.  You use your imagination to analyze a loved work from every angle so as to increase your pleasure of said work.  However, if you present your interpretation as if it is a fact, and it results in harassment, bullying and threats for actors involved in a show, then it becomes a problem.  Why do some fans accuse Supernatural of queer baiting, whilst others are vehemently opposed?  Why is it not a universal argument in fandom?  It is because the former don’t admit that their interpretations are just that: interpretation.  Bi Dean arguments have no basis in canon, and proponents of Bi Dean in fact refuse to acknowledge canonical oppositions to their interpretations.  The vehement opposers of Bi Dean actually respect canon.  Truth is universal and canon is truth. 

1.  Dean was not born from gratuitously bisexual inspiration

As a fiction writer myself, I know that an original character is not easy to put together.  You have to do a character analysis [I believe in using a homemade template, myself], character background [because it should shape what the character becomes in the current canon] and formulation of their physical attributes as well as wardrobe.  I, in fact, include things like medical history and diet choices in my own template to get a feel for the character that I want.  But every writer is different and chooses a different approach.  Eric Kripke had a clear idea of what he wanted his characters to be.

For the character personalities

Kripke wanted them to be like Han Solo and Luke Skywalker.  Han Solo was a cavalier renegade who had no respect for authority and fits in with Dean’s overall personality.  Dean doesn’t care if he is talking to an FBI agent, a priest or even his own father.  If you say something wrong, he will correct you and he has done that in canon.  If you have given him a reason to hate you, trust Dean to let you know, right to your face.  Dean doesn’t kiss up to authority.  He is the quintessential bad boy. 

Luke Skywalker is the polar opposite of Han.  He does things by the book.  He wears his heart on his sleeve and shows more empathy and emotion than his counterpart Han.  Sam is all of this and, like Luke, gives off an air of innocence, and sporadically the viewer feels the need to protect him because of said innocence.  Despite the fact that Sam has grown up and out of his chocolate boy features,  he still remains the quintessential good boy. 

There are many tropes at play here that fiction writers cling to.  The polar opposite trope is favored because it provides room for friction.  Imagine how Supernatural would be, if Dean and Sam just agreed with each other all the time.  It would make for bland viewing.  Sometimes they are on the same page.  Some times they aren’t.  Polarizing characters make for more vivid story telling and [particularly in our fandom] forces you to pick a side.  In other words, it keeps you invested in the characters.  The polar opposite trope can also be used for two enemies who are stuck in the same situation.  And in some cases, one of them is the overall baddie in the story.  It is not just a friendship trope.

Another well known trope that is being used here, is the much-loved buddy formula.  The buddy formula is used by a lot by screenwriters, because it is so popular with audiences, and can share similarities with the polar opposite trope.  Essentially the buddy formula contains two characters and even though they may be polar opposites, they tend to have a deep affection for each other.  Cagney and Lacey, Riggs and Murtaugh, Thelma and Louis and finally, Sam and Dean are example thereof. 

At this juncture, I would like to laughingly point out that Bi Dean advocates will cling to Thelma and Louis as proof of bi dean, because of the possible lesbian subtext.  Stop right there.  I watched Thelma and Louis, and I felt that they were fed up friends, almost sisters who didn’t want to live in the world any more.  I didn’t see any subtext.  If you did, good for you.  It increases your viewing pleasure.  However, as a straight woman, I have my own interpretation and it is just as significant as yours.  Hilariously, Sam and Dean have referred to themselves as Thelma and Louis.  So you cant use that to proof Dean is bi, because essentially you will be proving wincest. 

The difference between the buddy formula and the polar opposite trope is the affection that is inherently mixed into the buddy formula.  Buddies are more affectionate with each other.  In one of the Lethal Weapon movies, Riggs walks into Murtaugh’s kitchen, plants a kiss on Mrs Murtaugh’s cheek, walks up to Murtaugh and nonchalantly plants a kiss on his cheek as well, before going to raid the food storage.  Murtaugh doesn’t react negatively.  That scene was added for many reasons but there are two important reasons:  [1] to show the affection between the two, which is platonic [2] to get a laugh out of the audience by showing how irritatingly unaware Riggs is, that Murtaugh is angry with him. 

Murtaugh even “sensed” that Riggs was drowning and saved him, telling Riggs “I heard you, Riggs.  I heard you, baby.’‘  Yes, that is an actual line from Lethal Weapon and it proves that they love each other.  How you perceive their love is up to you.  Affectionate name calling is used in the buddy formula and is also apparent in Sam and Dean’s interaction as well. 

Is Cas an affectionate shortening of the name Castiel?  Both Dean and Sam call him Cas?  Maybe.  Or it maybe because the name Castiel doesn’t syllabically roll off the tongue.  It’s an ancient name and for modern day Sam and Dean, saying the full name is verbally cumbersome.  So they opted for Cas.  If the shortening of the name means Dean is in love with Cas, then it easily means Sam is in love with Cas too.  Oddly, despite the character name of Samuel being shortened to Sam, by Dean so it will roll of the tongue during a conversation, Dean actually adds a syllable and called him Sammy out of affection.  So for Sammy, the ’'name is too long and cumbersome’' excuse flies out the window.  Sammy gets used even when Dean is in a hurry, angry or affectionate.  It is a part of his personal lexicon.     

For the character backdrop

Part of Kripke’s logline for Supernatural and its backdrop included “Star Wars in truck stop America,”.  Another trope comes into play here:  The fish out of water.  In earlier seasons, the studious and preppy Sam clashed with the dustbowl Americana surroundings and its people.  Dean fit in.  Dean is salt of the earth.  Sam is more aware of the world beyond the dustbowl Americana because he is an intellectual.  Another part of the logline was ’'X Files meets Route 66”.  Route 66 is about two guys [Todd, the Yale graduate good boy and Buz, the street smart fighter bad boy from the wrong side of the tracks]  who go on a road trip across North America, encountering and solving social problems along the way, while trying to find a place to settle and find how they themselves fit into their world.  Kripke picked very accurate loglines for Supernatural, because Todd and Buz are exactly like Sam and Dean.  But they had names that Kripke didn’t like.  I don’t blame him. 

For the character names  

Bi Dean advocates always use the name Dean as being proof of Bi Dean.  Kripke chose both the names of his main characters from Jack Kerouac’s Beat Generation classic On the road.  it is not an LGBT classic.  It was a universal classic that just happened to have a bisexual character.  The characters were Dean Moriarty and Sal Paradise.  That is all he took from the work.  He didn’t take the road trip idea from On the road.  He took it from Route 66.  Even the polarizing characters were taken from Route 66.  All he took was the names, and even then, he wasn’t happy with Sam’s previous name so he changed one alphabet.  He took nothing else.  And that is the one thing Bi Dean advocates cling to.  There is no unique similarity between On the road and Supernatural.  Or between Dean Winchester and Dean Moriarty, for that matter, other than one character sharing a name with another.  I can understand why he stuck with Dean.  The name just has an All-American ring to it.

Bi Dean advocates argue that the bisexual Dean Moriarity was inspired by a real bisexual man called Neal Cassidy.  What they fail to realize is that Moriarity and Cassidy were not only bisexual but also pedophiles.  Dean Winchester is not a pedophile. 

Don't dig into Kerouac’s character's backstory to try and prove that Dean from Supernatural is bi, whilst ignoring the backstory of Supernatural own formulation.  That is called over reaching, and some fans use this unsteady theory to threaten the leads and plant accusations of bigotry.  Jensen has received online abuse for this and his reputation is completely tarnished with accusations of homophobia.     

2.  Castiel’s wardrobe choice does not reflect on Dean’s sexual orientation

I remember watching a scene from That’s 70’s Show, where Fez confessed to having an erotic dream about Kelso.  Kelso is shocked and declares “Do you know what this means?  Its means I’m gay”.  This fandom is proof, that Kelso is not unique in his stupidity.  Our fandom has a rich supply of ignorance, conveniently shrouded in social justice, so that when you successfully contradict them, they can just call you a bigot and quieten you down. 

For Castiel, Kripke only took wardrobe inspiration from John Constantine, a famous bisexual character.  That is it.  He took nothing else.  Trenchcoats are wardrobe items and not a sign of an individual’s sexuality.  Constantine was bisexual.  Columbo was straight but also wore a trenchcoat.  There is no unique similarity between Castiel and Constantine.  Constantine is a man, an occult detective, a humanitarian and is best known for his sarcasm.  Does that sound like Castiel to you?  Castiel is an angel [a very useless one], a killer of many innocent people, a displacer of angels and very rarely says something mildly sarcastic.  And if the trench coat makes Castiel bi, how does that reflects on Dean? 

3.  Castiel’s sexual orientation is not complex, neither is it reflective of Dean’s sexuality

Castiel is not human, and therefore is not shackled by human limitations.  He is not even a “he”.  He doesn’t have any preferences, nor does he canonically have any sexual desire except for Meg, whom he willingly kissed.  But that might be borne out of his love for her and her relentless pursuit of him.  His bond with Meg was not sexual.  When he became human, sexual desire awoken in him and he slept with a woman merely because she hit on him and he was curious.    But he doesn’t do that in his angel state.  He doesn’t seek out sex in his angel state because he has no human, physical desire.  Canonically, he doesn’t even have a soul, so how he and Dean can be seen as soul mates baffles me.  Nobody else has relentlessly pursued Castiel accept Meg.  Dean hasn’t.  Dean kicked him out of the bunker despite the fact that he was vulnerable because Sam’s host Gadreel had a problem with him.  Dean doesn’t love Castiel, nor does Dean pursue him.  He looks for Sammy when Sammy is missing, but doesn’t do that for Castiel.  Dean doesn’t sympathize with Castiel’s pain, even telling Castiel once “nobody cares that you are broken”.

4.  Dean cannot, textually, be interpreted as a bisexual unless you relinquish common sense  

Most of the canon examples of bi dean can easily be explained away. 

Dean is not giving Charlie flirting pointers because he has hit on men before.  He is himself a man, and know what he wants to hear from a woman and what would get him interested or distracted.  By the end of the scene, both Dean and Charlie who like women and not men, felt dirty.  And Sammy laughed through the whole thing because he knew how uncomfortable his brother was.  Because Sammy, who was raised by Dean, knows his brother.  Dean wont keep his bisexuality from Sam, because he has no reason to.  Sam is not narrow-minded.

In the context of this scene, when Castiel just berated Dean, only a true intellectual maverick is going to think that Dean is inviting Castiel to a impromptu session of fellatio.  Because that would make sense for the whole vessel scene, wouldn’t it, geniuses.  For people, who are not soaked in delusion, Dean is countering Castiel’s berating with disrespect because he is angry.  I cant believe this needs to be explained because “blow me” is a popular colloquial slang, used to insult someone.  Have none of the bi dean advocates ever heard that term before?  Do they think “scr*w yourself” means “Go and masturbate right now”?  Which rock to they live under?

Dean is not flirting with the sheriff here.  He is drunk.  There is a reason, a drunk person’s testimony doesn’t fly in court.  You don’t take a drunk person seriously.  The deputy isn’t flirting back either.  He is just amused by the compliment which he didn’t earn or deserve.  He even asks Sam beforehand if the other “agent” is drunk.  He is probably amused by a drunk, anxious agent hanging around the station.

The gif is wrong.  He didn’t say hi.  He said doctor.  I am touchy about this one because Jensen got a death threat over it.  The idea that a man can only be a fan of a male celebrity because he wants to sleep with the male celebrity, is completely insulting and a failure to understand male psychology.  Dean’s flustered facial expression here is used for two reasons.  [1]  that is how some fans, both male and female behave, and [2] its hilarious to watch Dean fanboying.  This is a humor device and nothing else.  Even blushing is not a sign of attraction.  If your teacher compliments your work in front of the entire class, and you blush, does it mean that you are in love with Mrs Haggerty from Science Lab? 

Ah, the birth of Performing!Dean.  Performing!Dean doesn’t exist.  He has no reason to.  Because Dean has no motivation to stay in the closet and hide his supposedly feminine bisexual self behind a toxic masculine façade.  Sam is not giving us clues of Dean’s bisexuality.  He is taunting his big brother because that is what obnoxious little brothers do.  Remember, the hotelier thought that they both were gay.  Sam only picked on Dean here, because only Dean has an issue with it.  He isn’t a homophobe but a proud straight man. 

Dean doesn’t care about the human state of the world.  He doesn’t care about human issues like racism, sexism and the lgbt.  He will categorize you as a human being and protect you, if you gave him a reason to.  He doesn’t care how you look, which way you swing, and how you pray.  If you give him a reason to like you, he will like you.  If you give him a reason to hate you, he will hate you.  Dean will only care if you are useful to him in his hunt.  The hunt is his life and his motivation to hunt is Sam and keeping Sam close and safe.  Dean is not pro or anti anything.  If you are human, you matter.  That is why de-graced Castiel is left out of hunts, because without any power, Cas is “basically a baby in a trenchcoat”, in other words, utterly useless to them.  But if Sam’s wall breaks, hold the phone. 

He doesn’t judge your sexual orientation.  He has worked with gay and bi people before, like Charlie and the gay hunting couple. So he is not  a bigot.  However he isn’t used to men hitting on him.  He almost throws up because the Chief from the BDSM club [Criss Angel is a douchebag] describes what he is planning to do to Dean and asks for a safe word, and he is flustered by Aaron because he doesn’t know how to react.  He wasn’t expecting Aaron to tell that very clever lie.  He didn’t bother telling Aaron he was straight.  Of course, bi Dean advocates think that is significant, and how he closed his badge is also significant. 

It is.  It shows that Dean is compassionate.  He was ready to punch Aaron in the face for following him.  But when Aaron lies about being attracted to Dean, Dean lets him down easily.  What was he supposed to say to a man he thinks he will never meet again:  “Look dude, I am not queer.  We didn’t have any moment.’'  Dean quietly packs away his badge, because he realized that he brandished it at the wrong person.  Another reason is that Dean is an arrogant man when it comes to his looks and doesn’t mind a compliment.  So he isn’t going to break the heart of the person complimenting him.  He is compassionate but he has an ego.  That is why he was disappointed that Aaron had successfully fooled him by inflating his ego.  Because he did it so easily and Dean must have wanted to kick himself for falling for it. 

Dean being born in the Bible Belt of America means nothing.  His father was an atheist.  He was too, until he came face to face with an angel.  He acknowledges the Divine exists, but he believes in free will.  He spent most of his life, traipsing around America.  Its not like he stuck it out in the Bible belt area.  He has no religious reason to be in the closet.  He raised Sam and Sam isn’t a bigot, so Sam wont have a problem with him being bisexual.  Dean has no motivation to hide himself from Sam because, in many ways, Sam is his child and knows him.  If Dean was bi, Sam would have figured it out.

Dean is sexually not a vanilla person when it comes to sex, and despite where he was born, he is a sexually outspoken, kinky, loudmouth who admits to wearing his date’s underwear, not because he is feminine, but because he is a kinky little dirt bag who will do anything the date says, so he can close the deal with her.  Wearing her underwear is not proof that he is bisexual, because there are bisexual men who don’t wear women’s clothing and this is insulting to them.

5.  Dean and Castiel do not make a better couple than any of their love interests

Castiel had only one genuine love interest.  Meg.  And this union between two polar opposite characters in human vessels, is certainly more compelling than the blank stares that Dean and Castiel shared until their screen time decreased, much to Jensen’s happiness.  Meg took care of Castiel despite being a demon.  Dean kicked Castiel out of the bunker for Sam’s benefit.  Meg pursued Castiel.  Dean let Castiel to swop places mentally with Sam, so Sam could leave the asylum, safe and healthy, whilst Castiel remained in the asylum, broken and damaged.  He never pursued Castiel or took care of him. 

Dean only had one girlfriend.  And she was Cassie.  The name Cassie does not foreshadow destiel.  Cassie didn’t work out because she was far too involved in worldly things like racism and he cared about the supernatural world.  She was an intellectual and he was a high school drop out.  She is actually a lot like Sam, and they would actually make sense as a couple.  Dean never loved Lisa.  Canonically, he only shacked up with her, because Sam forced him.  And when Lisa realized that, she let him go. 

Castiel and Dean don’t make sense as a couple because Castiel has lied to Dean about many things.  There are some things he hasn’t come clean about, to Sam and Dean, e.g. opening up the Panic Room door and letting Sam free.  He used the mixed tape to double cross Dean, so the mixed tape is a proof of Castiel’s betrayal.  It is not proof of destiel.  The whole Leviatian affair is Castiel’s fault.  And although Dean does take Castiel like a brother, canonically, he wont sell his soul for Castiel, like he did for Sammy.  Using slowed down gifs of Dean and Cas staring blankly at each other, doesn’t proof that Dean is bisexual.  Every time Dean stares at a man, its doesn’t mean he is attracted to that person. 

The show is not queer baiting you by leaving subtextual easter eggs in the frame.  They don’t have time for that.  Because they average one episode a week.  They are working at a break neck speed.  They don’t have the time to indulge fannish nonsense.  Everyone associated with the show have said that Dean is not bi.  I don’t mind you interpreting, but when you force it on Jensen and threaten him when he doesn’t like it, you are being a vile and disgusting predatory beast.  The only person who is reinforcing destiel, claimed at Jaxcon that Dean is bisexual and is queer baiting you is Misha Collins.  Go take it up with him.

[thequietoftheroom]

Hi. Is this thing on? Lauren Graham said in her new book that we should write more so this is my attempt at that. Oh by the way, I started reading again. I write these for myself so why don’t I just use “we”, but that will probably be weird reading it back. I’ve read Feminasty: The Complicated Woman’s Guide To Surviving The Patriarchy Without Drinking Herself To Death, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice On Love And Life From Dear Sugar, and now I’m almost done with Talking As Fast As I Can: From Gilmore Girls To Gilmore Girls. I’ve gone through several lists to pick out the books I plan on reading in the next few months, at least if I can afford them, but I like to think the books I ultimately bought found me and not the other way around. I have been read cover to cover, my soul pierced, and my mind opened. Of course fiction books have a similar effect but I never thought I would be interested in what people had to say about this grand thing called life and I learned that I cared a whole lot, not because I wanted to model myself after them but because I care about people and reading their explanations on life is like suddenly remembering they’re my best friends and they’re just catching me up on little secrets that come packed with nuggets of wisdom. 

I got myself into several situations I never planned on getting myself into even though the red flags were there and even though the people very openly said “Hey, this is exactly who I am”, but you know how your mind works when you have anxiety and depression. You start to convince yourself the puzzle pieces you find yourself assembling are actually part of the picture even though they don’t fit because deep down you’re trying to finish the puzzle of your life and no one is giving you quite the right pieces. In other words, and to quote my friend Allie, I drank a nice glass of “dumb bitch” juice. Which lead me to want to consider joining a dating site sooner than I planned. I know these things take time but it’s been 3 days and I’ve sent 40 likes (I think that’s how okcupid works idk) and practically got 0 back. Here’s why that sucks. On okcupid they focus strongly on your personality and beliefs. So someone not only saw my face and said “yeesh no thanks” they took the time to get to know the information about myself I put on there and were still like “yikes I don’t think so”. So all in all this was an experiment in derailing my self esteem and increasing my depression. What crazy color will I dye my hair to suddenly avoid dealing with my problems? Or maybe I’ll give myself another buzzcut. Stay tuned!

On a serious note, a lot of the stories I’m reading made me SO relieved that at 27 I’m still very much single and have only had 1 relationship which wasn’t that great (it was both of our faults). There were so many stories and anecdotes about young love being messy and about true commitment coming in your 40′s. Honestly, idk if I can wait that long. If NASA and the CIA and the FBI were like “you have been randomly selected to test mating with androids” I’d be like “yes please but can I choose their face”. I mean realistically I’m in the worst position to be in a relationship. For one, I don’t have much money saved because I’m sadly addicted to ordering things online, most of which are either useful to me or to my job (and no I don’t get reimbursed but I think the prospect of waiting for something in the mail to kill time is momentarily greater than the prospect of having more money later). I still live at home. Obviously, that’s a hella yikes and tbf I’m reading to get the fuck out of here but {see A: i have no money} and I have no one to move in with. I keep doing extensive research but I learned that in 2018 everywhere is problematic. So as much as my love for NYC is slowly fading I also realize this is it for me! I’m a city gal who needs to be surrounded by diversity. I can’t do suburbs and I can’t do living near more than 50% white people. I’ll die. I know that’s discriminatory but we are in the dawn of BBQ Beckys so can you blame me when the majority of white people keep voting against my existence. So I’m stuck. Every once in a while I look up “most LGBT friendly places to live” or “least racist places to live” and hope there’s a magical place with both but there isn’t (especially since, hello, twinks are hella racist). But I’ve literally cuddled my body pillow to death: it broke apart and I need a new one. And I learned I can’t fall asleep unless I’m cuddling it because I’m that lonely.

Everything in life is so complicated. I hate not being out at work but at the same time everyone there is ignorant so I wouldn’t be any more comfortable having them walking on eggshells around me. I love the individuals though and sometimes I feel very motherly or big brotherly towards them and they make me REALLY love work. But I want to be me. And I want to get rid of my legal name. Every time someone calls me John I die inside. Sometimes I don’t even respond because I have to be like “oh shit that’s me”. Can I change my name now? Probably, just have to have the money and redo all my paperwork at work? Will i? No because then either a) the individuals will have to learn my new name and their lives are confusing as fuck as it is or b) i keep my current legal name as a nickname but then it will get confusing for paperwork. I don’t like inconveniencing people that much even for something super important to me. I’ll just die inside until I save enough money, do my last few undergrad psyche classes, and then get into grad school. So like in 5 years, knowing me.

I’ve developed some little crushes here and there but most of the time it’s people that live out of reach or are straight or bottoms or any combination of them or I can just tell they will never like me in that way. So honestly, why bother. I miss the days when I didn’t care about this and the only thing plaguing my mind was what show I should marathon while building in minecraft.

Speaking of games, I play a lot with my friend Sal. He’s like my best friend which is weird because he was my boss once on a minecraft server but now I can’t ever think of him that way? He’s more like an older brother now, even though he’s younger than me. We talk a lot and also enjoy a lot of silence, and introduce each other to different games and shows. But mostly games. We’re both obsessed with 7 Days To Die and I check constantly for news about the update (no set dates for Alpha 17 AHHHH). To fill that void we started playing Fortnite, which I know a lot of people make fun of but it’s actually fun. Here’s a fun fact about me: I can’t take serious games serious so if there’s no building element, or fun element, or explosives I can blow things up with, I won’t do it. I have 0 competitive bones in this body. I like to have fun. That’s why Fortnite is perfect because it is a competitive FPS type game but it’s also a parody of that genre and it’s so whimsical. Save The Day is a lot like 7 Days To Die so that’s been fun. Listen, when you play a game with someone and you beat it, especially a survival game, it’s such a relief and you learn so much and it’s like you went on a literal adventure with that person. Did Sal and I actually get stranded on an island full of mutants and cannibals? No but that’s what it actually felt like after finishing The Forest because it was that real for us. My love for Pocket Camp is fading because it’s the same stuff, new textures. I mean the prospect of having a cute camp is fun sometimes (fun enough for me to spend way too much money on it. HELP!) but now it’s like “oh they just stand there and I don’t really do anything”. ALTHOUGH they are saying that now they are adding a LOT more gameplay to the point that you need at least 1gb of space of the game so I’m excited. I’m still obsessed with minecraft so there’s nothing new there.

Here’s something weird. I spent much of my time, when I identified as gay, being annoyed at gay stereotypes and mostly twinks being like “if you don’t do x,y,z you might as well be straight”, so much so that now that I came out as queer those things still bother me and I have to be like “it’s okay that’s not you anymore you literally figured this out which is why you’re this person”. That’s how I should introduce myself tbh “Hi I’m the Q in LGBTQ”. I don’t care about fitting in but because of my lack of in person friends sometimes I worry that maybe I should care, just a little. I’m so tempted to try Tinder just for that but then I think of all the people who have Tinder that live in this building and I’m like God that is a huge mistake. I need a huge life change. I need someone to come in and shake up my life but no one has volunteered. I’m kind of regretting thinking of all those stupid romantic things like “Oh I want my future boyfriend to teach my how to ride a bike :)” “I want my future boyfriend to take me traveling” “I want my future boyfriend to serenade me”. I’ll just become a full on Capricorn and teach myself everything, travel the world alone, and serenade my goddamn self.

Speaking of which again, can my depression like.. not? I was so into learning and practicing chords daily and I just stopped? Like my motivation was like “It’s been a nice 1 week. back to not caring about anything again” I mean I started to try to learn Burn and Satisfied from Hamilton (well, “learn”) so I at least have interest and I still listen to classical music and jazz to light that fire under my ass but still. I’m just going to do what I always do and restart from lesson 1 and hope I make it to 3 although my extensive research of chords has already put me at an advantage for lesson 3, which is chords. Of course I would go and try to learn something in an unstructured manner because I have a problem with routine and authority even when that authority is me.

I should write me. Which reminds me I was going to write about this one dream I had on my regular blog. See ya!

[hotchley]

🐨 Okay, I have a burning question—what’s your Enneagram? You know Sleeping at Last, their number songs? One through Nine? That’s the Enneagram! It’s a personality test with nine different types and subsets of various combinations of types. I’m a Three! My church does some stuff with it—mostly they make all of us “leaders” take it and then we make nerdy jokes at each other about ‘typical Seven behavior’ and whatnot. But yeah, the songs are based on each type, and they are scarily accurate.

I discovered their songs…well via a fanfiction (a GLORIOUS one, I will say, for a smaller fandom I went through a phase with) that used it for a chapter title and excerpted a song. It was called Eight, for some reason. And then I realized that holy crap, there are more of these, and they’re GOOD, and they’re based on that personality test I’d had to take literally a week before! So I listened to the Three one, and literally cried it was so beautiful. I then listened to the whole album and made multiple friends take the Enneagram test before showing them the respective song. That’s how I got into SaL.

I was rereading that fic today and remembered you like SaL, too, so, I figured I’d ask! If you don’t know your type off hand (not everyone is as nerdy as I, haha), it’s just a free online quiz. I predict you’re a Nine, Eight, or Two. But I could also be very wrong. I’m bad at predicting.

Putting it all below the keep reading :)

I love a good burning question!

I'm actually a type Four lol. So... yeah not your guesses, but it's nice that you tried! Funny story: when I read the description for Four I was like: I don't want to be like that- ohh that's why...

Although it has been a while since I've done the quiz and a lot has changed in my life over the past three years so maybe I should redo it...

I love the enneagram album, even though I've never listened to it the whole way through (only Four and maybe a few of the others? I'm not sure)

I read the thing for a type three and I can see that! Your church sounds great- me and my sister (when we were in that phase) would just go to the other: that's such a type *number* thing to do (even if it wasn't lol) Also, I love hearing about your church please send all the funny stories!

Ahh I love Sleeping At Last and I'm so glad you found their songs because all of them are just so good

Four is just <3

The first song of theirs I listened to was Saturn and it was honestly the best thing I'd ever heard. Light is also amazing- I wanted to do so many Hotch and Jack fics based off of that song, never did, but the ideas are in my brain!

I love that people remember me liking SaL, it's very sweet! I think I might redo the test now, but at the moment, I'm a Four!

[dweemeister]

Cheyenne Autumn (1964)

The American Western has been a genre in cinema almost from the artform’s beginning. Over decades and influenced by the traditions of Western firsthand storytelling and literature, Western films evolved with the vocabulary and history of film. Maybe the most important figure in the Western’s development is director John Ford. Ford directed not only the greatest films of that genre, but for the entire medium of cinema – including titles like Stagecoach (1939), My Darling Clementine (1946), and The Searchers (1956). All three of those films were shot in Monument Valley, located on the Arizona-Utah border within the Navajo Nation, and famous for its imposing mesas. Many Navajo starred as extras in those films, including the subject of this write-up, Cheyenne Autumn.

With this final Western to direct and his health failing, Ford was in an unusually repentant mood. Upon reflection, he became to realize how poorly he treated the Native American characters in his Westerns. They were often one-dimensional villains massacred by white pioneers or United States Cavalrymen; noble savages; or just faceless, bloodthirsty legends that are never seen. Ford always sympathized with the Navajo extras he employed in his Westerns (they often played non-Navajo tribes, and the filmmakers spent no effort for linguistic accuracy), albeit from a paternalistic lens. Cheyenne Autumn is shadowed by that white paternalism – an overlong experience never adopting the perspectives of its Native American characters.

In Oklahoma Territory/Indian Territory, a group of Northern Cheyenne leaders are planning to return their people back to their homeland in Wyoming. Led by Little Wolf (Ricardo Montalbán) and Dull Knife (Gilbert Roland) after the death of Tall Tree (Victor Jory), the tribe’s efforts are opposed from a military and Department of Interior policy lens. Captain Thomas Archer (Richard Widmark) sympathizes, but refuses to listen to the advice of his bloodlusting, openly prejudiced subordinates (especially Patrick Wayne’s character). American newspapers get wind of these Western developments, and begin to misrepresent the Northern Cheyenne actions as a danger to American civilians. Numerous subplots abound, including Archer’s Mormon love interest, Deborah Wright (Carroll Baker, whose character teaches the Cheyenne children English) deciding to embed herself with the Cheyenne’s northward journey. Secretary of the Interior Carl Schurz (Edward G. Robinson) also wants to avoid violence, and will venture westward to defuse the situation.

Other characters including a Cheyenne named “Spanish Woman” (Dolores del Río, probably referring to the character’s mixed heritage), the fiery Red Shirt (Sal Mineo), and the short-tempered Captain Oscar Wessels (Karl Malden). An ill-advised pre-intermission comedic sequence with Wyatt Earp (James Stewart) and Doc Holliday (Arthur Kennedy) comes off only as bloat.

The chief problem of Cheyenne Autumn is one that constantly undermines its central premise. In this film, Ford and screenwriters Mari Sandoz (a novelist-biographer who specialized on the American West, including the Plains Indians) and James R. Webb (1962′s Cape Fear, 1963′s How the West Was Won) rarely adopt the point of view of the Native American characters. When the screenplay does concentrate on them, it is distilled by the experiences and political positions of the white characters. Carroll Baker’s character becomes the white character through whom the Cheyenne become relatable, their intentions and reasons sanitized. Mentions of American atrocities towards Native Americans – if not specifically the Cheyenne – are superficial, requiring guesswork for those unfamiliar in American West history, with Ford never bothering to contextualize how those actions have contributed to the Cheyenne’s presence in Oklahoma. As characters, they are never anything more than frustrated figures that speak out against the American government. Aside from moments where the Cheyenne are taking down their teepees and packing their belongings, what are they like as parents? Friends? Peers? The film is not interested in that, depriving a lot of potential emotional power for the characters that should be central to this work.

One important inclusion in Cheyenne Autumn is the American media’s depiction of the roving Cheyenne as a band of anarchic scalp-collectors. An outlier newspaper editor wants to distinguish himself from the mob, so he frames his paper’s stories as supporting a horde of noble savages. The mass hysteria among Eastern and Western publications could stand in for twentieth-century Hollywood, as the initial storytellers of a narrative tradition colored by racial fear. As much as this film’s allegiances are more beholden to the Native American characters compared to John Ford’s previous works, Cheyenne Autumn is not so much forcing the viewer to experience American imperialism through the eyes of its Native American as it is an expensive, languidly-staged presentation of Ford’s personal beliefs.

Ford further weakens his film by whitewashing the principal Cheyenne characters. Dull Knife, Tall Tree, and Red Shirt are all played by white actors; Little Wolf is played by Mexican actor Ricardo Montalbán, but this is just as problematic – Mexican actors or “less pale” white actors were often employed to portray Native Americans in American Western movies. While conversing in “Cheyenne”, the few Navajo actors playing the Cheyenne are saying dirty Navajo jokes to each other. This erasure of historically correct Native American perspectives fails to generate much empathy, even if Cheyenne Autumn has some structural similarities to documentaries or docudramas.

Cheyenne Autumn’s comedic sequence in Dodge City featuring some of the most famous names of Western lore is an inexplicable miscalculation. As much as I might like some Jimmy Stewart any day, there is no reason for Wyatt Earp and Doc Holliday (Stewart and Kennedy are too old to play Earp and Holliday, respectively) to appear. This pre-intermission comic relief does nothing but wreak havoc on the film’s already-languid pacing. It does not help that the broad comedy elicits few laughs.

Shot in Super Panavision 70mm Technicolor, Cheyenne Autumn has a wide frame for cinematographer William S. Clothier (1948′s Fort Apache, 1959′s The Horse Soldiers) to work with. The final cut is beautifully photographed, if a bit repetitive and annoying to anybody with an understanding of Great Plains geography (those Monument Valley vistas are not that ubiquitous across the central United States; for example, there are no mountains in Kansas). The signature vistas, shot solely medium and long shots that a widescreen format enables, are gorgeous as always. Moab, Utah and Gunnison, Colorado also stood in for locales along the Northern Cheyenne Exodus – even if the exodus never traversed those states. Ford, his eyesight failing, had lost much of his sense of composition by this point. Those repetitive wide shots and awkward stagings of dialogue scenes with a mass of characters all attest to this. But even a weaker John Ford effort ranks as a stunning visual experience.

Composer Alex North’s (1960′s Spartacus, 1963′s Cleopatra) modernism in his score clashed with Ford’s expectations. North’s score is powerful, brimming with anticipation of the tense situations that are to come. Yet it is without any identifiable leitmotifs until later in the film, as North adopted a modal structure based in Native American music that runs against the idea and expectations of recurring, melodic musical ideas. This set-up works in the context of the film, but independent of the accompanying scenes – and this subsequent statement is speculation but based on my experience with modal classical music; Cheyenne Autumn’s score is unavailable for free online – the score probably suffers. Music like the lyricism of Dimitri Tiomkin’s Western scores (see 1948′s Red River and 1956′s Gunfight at the O.K. Corral) would not fit in Cheyenne Autumn, given the challenging subject matter. Ford himself disliked North’s music, cutting much of it from the final version of the movie. This would not be the last time North was on the wrong side of an artistic disagreement, with much worse treatment by the likes of Stanley Kubrick in his future.

For Warner Bros., 1964 proved to be an eventful year. Its two most high-profile properties – at least, the two movies they spent the most money to acquire the rights for – were Cheyenne Autumn and My Fair Lady. Producer Bernard Smith (1960′s Elmer Gantry, How the West Was Won) convinced Jack Warner, after Warner’s greenlighting of My Fair Lady, that the studio needed a second surefire hit: a John Ford Western. But Ford’s decision in material was among the least commercial of his career, and Cheyenne Autumn’s constitution is not conducive to a single sitting for most. With My Fair Lady slated to be released three weeks  after Cheyenne Autumn, Warner Bros. then decided to concentrate its advertising firepower on the Lerner and Loewe musical adaptation – sealing the financial fate of John Ford’s last Western.

More truthful, faithful Westerns portraying Native Americans would be released in later decades – perhaps not always the most high-profile Hollywood features, but worthy in their fidelity to depicting Native American perspectives. Yet the idea for a kind of cinematic reparation from a major Hollywood production can be said to begin here, in Cheyenne Autumn, under the direction of the one person who might have been most responsible in popularizing negative cinematic stereotypes of Native Americans. John Ford may be the most accomplished director the United States has given to cinema, but a great portion of that success is thanks to capitalizing on destructive ideas serving as the keystone of American narratives.

My rating: 6/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found here.

[tpnks]

Third-Wheelers

Request: Can you do a teenage modern day Salazar x Helga one shot?? This is kinda specific and random but okay - anon

Warnings: Muggle AU

Pairings: Helga x Salazar, Rowena x Godric

A/N: So I’ve done it in a sort of Muggle AU style, I don’t know if that’s what you were after but this is the idea I had for the pairing. Basically background is they’re like 19 and in Uni (College in America) so they’re only just teens. Anyway I had fun writing this, never done this pairing before but I hope I did them justice! Enjoy :)

"Come on Sal! I need you there with me," Rowena pleaded, leaning against the door of Salazars' room.

"You're going on a date Rowena, I don't want to be the third wheel," He told her, closing down his laptop and standing up from his bed.

"It's my first real date though Sal! I need you there for moral support!" Rowena insisted, moving out the way as Salazar made his way into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and pouring himself some orange juice as he replied,

"You don't need me there, you want me there," He corrected her.

"What if it goes wrong? What if he turns out to be a pig and I need some back-up? What then? I won't have anyone to turn to, you can help me leave if I need to! Run in screaming that something's happened to Bucky," She said frantically, motioning to the little Jack Russel curled up on the sofa who lifted his head in confusion at hearing his name.

"Rowena, I'm just a phone call away," He told her, his features softening as he realized that she was really worried about this date and wanted it to go well. Being who she was, Salazar knew that was over analyzing the entire situation and was desperate for a back-up plan.

"I know Sal, but I just need you there. Please, I'll do anything if you come," She said, her tone defeated as if she knew he wasn't going to tag along.  

"Fine, I'll come with you," He told her, chuckling when she jumped up in surprise and flung her arms around him.

"Thank you, Sal!" She squealed, jumping up and down once she released him from the hug.

"You best go get ready then, you only have 2 hours till we need to leave," He reminded her, smiling when a look of horror took over her features as she bolted out of the room and into her own.

"What have I got myself into," Salazar muttered, running his hands over his face tiredly.

…

"HELGA!" Godric cried, running from his room like a frightening deer and into the one next door.

"What is it Godric? Is everything alright?" Helga asked, concern lacing her voice.

"What do I wear?" He asked frantically, standing in front of her with a blue shirt half buttoned up, a pair of Capri shorts and odd socks. Trying her best not to giggle Helga stood up and began walking Godric back to his own room.

"I'll help you get changed, then we can talk about your date," Helga told him, sitting him down on his bed and searching through his wardrobe for some suitable attire.

"Where are you going again?" Helga asked.

"The bowling alley, you know the one down town with the arcade and kids play area," Godric replied, bouncing nervously on the bed.

"Yes, I know the one," Helga replied softly, throwing a clean maroon shirt and some chino jeans in Godrics general direction.  

"Thanks Puff," Godric said, causing Helga to roll her eyes at his ridiculous nickname, she hated it but as long as Godric was the only one to refer to her as it then she was fine with hearing it every so often.

"You want to talk about your date?" Helga asked, sitting next to Godric.

"She's really pretty Puff, she has black hair and it's really long. It looks like she's never cut it … but in a good way. She's beautiful, I swear she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen … apart from you Puff. Also, she's just so smart, I met her in the library -"

"You were in the library?" Helga asked, shocked at this revelation. Gryffindor chuckled, causing Helga to smile.

"I was looking for a book on the human brain, just because I don't like going in that shithole, doesn't mean I won't if I can't find the info online." Godric told her, "Anyway I'm really worried that she won't think I'm smart enough, or good enough. She just makes me really nervous because I want to impress her but being who I am I'll probably mess it up and end up chasing her away -"

"Godric stop." Helga told him, "You are amazing, understand? You could never chase any girl away. You'll do great, I promise!" She assured him, reaching over and taking his hand in hers.

"But what if I don't?" He replied, his voice sounded so small, a contrast to his massive frame.

"How about I come with you? I can be there for moral support, I'll just play on the arcade games and if you need me, just come and find me, okay?" Helga asked, not really wanting to go but knowing that it would make Godric feel a lot better to have her come along with him.

"Really? You'd do that for me?"  

"I did just offer, did I not?"  

"PUFF! You're amazing, I love you!" Godric yelled, picking her up in a bear hug and spinning her around.

"Love you too" She mumbled, her face still buried in his chest.

…

The bowling alleys were unusually busy for a Thursday evening, the majority of school kids seemed to have occupied the bowling lanes and arcade, while the adults sat morosely off to the side, sipping their drinks dispassionately. The screams of joy mingled with the shrieks of the arcade games, a screaming child could be heard at the farthest alley but was being drowned in the hum of conversation and squeals of others.

“This is where he picked for you to go on a first date?” Salazar commented dryly, eyeing the surrounding area in distaste.  

“Come on Sal, it’s fun!” Rowena insisted.

“Tells you a lot about this guy’s personality,” Salazar told her, raising his eyebrow at her, just daring her to disagree with him.

“I suppose it does, but who’s to say it’s a bad thing?” She argued back, smirking as Salazar’s eye twitched in irritation. “Look Sal, I know you don’t want to be here, but it really means a lot that you’re here.”  

The two shared a smile, rare from Salazar, and continued walking further into the building; not stopping until a rather enthusiastic voice boomed over the crowd.

“ROWENA!” Godric cried, waving animatedly over at the witch.

“Your date is Godric Gryffindor?” Salazar said, his voice monotone and scathing.  

“Be nice!” Rowena scolded, running over to embrace Godric, not noticing Helga as she did so.  

The presence of Helga, however, didn’t escape Salazar’s notice. She was standing behind Godric, her stance confident and lips curled in a sweet smile as she looked at the couple in front of her.

Salazar had to admit that she was quite a beauty, not in what one might call a normal way, but she was a beauty in Salazar’s eyes.  

Her eyes were a soothing brown, ones that you only had to look in to know that her intentions were true and honest. Her hair fell in loose waves, ending just below her shoulders.  

Some may say she was a little on the heavy side, but Salazar would refer to her as curvy. She was wearing high-waisted jeans with flowers embroider down the sides and a yellow off the shoulder top which stopped just short of the jeans.

Helga seemed to be appreciating the man across from her just as much as he was her, of course neither noticed that the other was staring as they were too caught up in their own thoughts.  

Rowena, on the other hand, did notice and without the two of them noticing grabbed Godric hand and rushed off to play a game of bowling while their friends got acquainted.

It was at least another minute before Helga snapped out of her daze, looking around in confusion.

“Where have those two gone?” She wondered aloud, turning her head around, looking in as many directions as possible.

At her remark Salazar snapped out of his thoughts, joining Helga in searching for Rowena and Godric.

Helga have up after not too long, they were obviously together and Godric would find her if he needed anything or when they were done on their date.

She turned back towards the man that Rowena had brought with her, hesitantly she made her way over, until she was stood in front of the man in question.

“Um – Hi, I’m Helga.”  

“Salazar,” He replied, nodding at her, not quite knowing what else to say or do.

“So, you tagged along too?” Helga asked, looking at him sympathetically.

“More like was dragged along but yeah that’s the jist of it,” He replied.

“Oh okay …” Helga commented with uncertainty, not quite sure how to progress the conversation.

“Yeah …” Salazar said just as awkwardly.

The silence was interrupted by a screaming child racing in between the two, ice cream smeared along his front and arcade tickets trailing behind him as he ran.

Helga chuckled at the kid as he ran away, back towards the arcade to play some more games.

Looking back over at Salazar she noticed he was staring, obviously avoiding her gaze. Huffing she marched over to him, grabbing him by the hand and dragged him in the direction of the arcade.

“We’re not just going to stand around in silence, we’re playing some arcade games,” Helga informed him, dragging him over towards a car racing game.

“Really?” Salazar drawled as Helga sat on the seat, beckoning him to join her.

“Oh, come on Salazar, have a little fun, let loose,” Helga teased, causing a smirk of sorts to light up on Salazar’s face.

“Very well,” he conceded, sitting down on the 'racing seat' next to her.

“I’m going to beat you!” Helga challenged, eyeing him competitively as the cars revved on the screen.

“You wish,” he smirked, winking at her just as the race began, causing Helga to lose concentration momentarily.

The two raced their hardest, trying their best to beat their opponent, they were neck and neck when they reached the finishing line but ultimately Helga won.

As soon as the results were displayed on the screen she jumped up out of her seat in excitement and triumph.

“I WON, I WON!” She chanted, dancing a little jig at her victory.

Salazar watched on smiling openly at her dance, it wasn’t until she fell over, landing on her backside that he allowed the laughter to take over.

Not being able to help himself Salazar burst out laughing, clutching at his stomach as he held onto the arcade game closest so as not to fall over.

Helga watched, at first embarrassed that she’d fallen over in front of him but soon flustered at the sound of his laughter.

Watching him, Helga couldn’t help but admire the raw emotion present on his face.

He’s really cute when he laughs ...

Salazar meanwhile had stopped laughing and was watching Helga stare at him, her eyes dazed and cheeks flushed a rosy pink.

She’s really cute when she blushes ...

In that moment, both decided that they would definitely be seeing each other again, only this time not as third wheelers to their best friend's date.