#I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT LIKING YOU
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I changed so I thought I did okay this time but he didn't change and now it's back to square one <33
#UGHHHH#this dude told me he still really likes me and yeah#and i said i dont know how i feel abt you (bc i never do) but next year (when we're at the same school) something could happen between us#if we feel the same about each other#and apparently he thought that meant “i want you to act like we're already dating and I am in love with you and am waiting for you”#I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT LIKING YOU#I SAID I LIKED OUR DYNAMICS#AND NOW YOUVE CHANGED THE DYNAMICS#this is what happens every time actually#but i keep leading him on i think sooo
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DC x DP Idea
After several years, Danny and Damian meet each other again at a gala. But there was no heartfelt reunion since the moment they led eyes on each other it was all-out war. Damian takes out a sword from somewhere and Danny just starts throwing hands.
The fighting is intense, and blood is being spilled (what are those glowing green specks?). They are screaming at each other in Arabic as it's easier to slip back to your mother tongue when in rage right? This makes the fight more personal.
Most people don't understand what they're saying but those who do look at the boys then Bruce. Bruce then back to the boys again. Like B, we know you're stupid but you fucked this person twice.... did you NOT see the red flags the SECOND TIME!?!?
The fight ends with Damian on the ground with the sword grazing his neck. He looks up to Danyal with the fear of god in his eyes, knowing that with one swift movement, he'll be dead on the dance floor. But Danny's eyes were cold and tired, they were dead. No spark, no sense of life in those chilling blue depths.
Calmly, Danny spoke to Damian. His voice was crystal clear, cool like a mountain stream.
"Just because you jumped into the fire behind me doesn't mean you felt the pain I did. Your hand was held above the flames while I was being burnt in the fucking fire."
Damian begins to cry because he knows that Danny is right. No matter what he went through, it would never compare to what happened to his big brother. Even more so, when he feels long lanky arms wrap around him, a cool hand rubbing his back soothingly, and whispers of sweet nothingness entering his ears.
He cries because no matter what he does he will never be like his big brother.
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc prompt#dp x dc crossover#Danny and Damian have a five-year age gap#so he's like 11-ish when he leaves the league and Damian was 6-ish#Damian didnt have a place in the league before Danny left and was trained like any other soldier#When Danny left and he got the title of heir to the demons head he clung onto it#Ras realize that training Damian like he did Danny would only lead to disaster so he was 'lighter' on him#Damian noticed but didn't say anything about it#During training#he was constantly fed lies and half-truths about Danny#while simultaneously hearing his praises while he got barely any#this caused him to hate Danny#Ra knew Danny was alive but also knew that hunting him would be a horrible idea#Danny hops around the world for a few years until he's adopted by the Fentons a year before the DP series#I would like to add that Damian is like a raging fire reading to burn everything in his path#until he cools down and he becomes a small flame of warmth and comfort#Danny is like a river clam cool and refreshing until you piss him off and he introduce you to the rapids#or worse#look up The Strid#dp dc crossover#dp x dc#dcxdp#dc x dp prompt
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katnep is the type of ship you'd expect nepeta to try really hard and dress all cutely and karkat be a bit more lazy and wear the same clothes BUT if we're all being honest karkat would absolutely dress up all fancy and nepeta would wear her usual clothes. karkat would go to kanaya in a heartbeat, kanaya would try to reach out to nepeta but nepeta will not comply.
bonus points if kanaya continues to try and make something pretty but also comfortable and fitting for nepetas tastes but it backfires because she then never takes it off and kanaya has to watch it very clearly become worn and ruined as nepeta rolls around in dirt. Kanaya accounted for that of course, but nepeta somehow surpassed her expectations anyways
i think youre totally completely right
#katnep#karnep#karkat#karkat vantas#nepeta#nepeta leijon#nepkat#hs#homestuck#liv safe#asks!#my art#art#hehe im in a pixely mood rn#but no i think youre so right#hard to imagine karkat not putting his whole romancussy into his partner < why did i say it like that#anything nep puts on shes immediately figuring out how to tear it so she can move more freely in it lmfao#bc no yeah like ah maybe karkat would put less effort in since in canon he's not crazy about her but like. if he were though?#and if nepeta was already comfortable with him and didnt feel the need to prove herself to him? cozy nepeta time#'karkat why are you wearing that. we have a roll in the dirt date today'#ill post this now but rb it in the morning since no ones gonna see it rn lmfao
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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I actually think Dorian and Orym should fight more.
Remember when their slowly building tension over and entire episode (full of passive aggressive remarks and blame throwing) led to threats? And how after, Orym thanked Dorian for handing over the crown sadly because he knew Dorian would be mad at him? And Dorian couldn't even look at him because he was legitimately hurt, thinking Orym was disappointed in him for doing what he thought was right? That was peak.
The fact they went from that to their current closeness and trust is the best part of their entire dynamic. Their relationship was hard fought and still will be. They will fight for it because they respect and care for one another deeply, and their disagreements don't change that, only improve it.
#critical role#cr3#orym#dorian#dorym#text post#cr discourse#'dorian deserved that actually and is being stupid by agreeing with ludinus'#'orym was too mean and needs to be quiet about his trauma'#just say you don't understand their characters#or that they are characters#you don't have to agree with them. they can make decisions you wouldn't make and disagree with#its good tv regardless#dorian didnt deserve that and orym was too harsh#dorian needed to be reminded of the consequences of indulging those ideas and viewpoints and orym is tired of this discussion happening#these things can coexist#neither of them have the whole picture here. we can't judge them based off of what we as viewers know#dorian didn't see first hand what the ruby vanguard has done. only what the spider queen did so thats on his mind more than anything#orym didnt see first hand (nor hear many details) about opal and cyrus. only what the vanguard has been doing to them for months#let them bicker and argue#its the best part#only going near the discourse because i have been waiting years for more of this and bitches on twitter are complaining about it#and often from people who don't even like orym (or sometimes dorian). go back to ignoring them and let me enjoy this moment in peace#i know i am adding to the discourse but i needed to find other people who want more dorym relationship drama before we get more fluff
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i love the bit from oct 17 2020 when tommy and quackity trapped wilbur in a cobblestone box to keep him from pressing the button... wilbur punching through the blocks with his bare hand to try to get to the button... tommy frantically replacing the block in front of him yelling for quackity to do something... the moment when tommy stops, blocks the exit, and tells wilbur to do it. press the button. but then theyd die with him. quackitys like "wait, wait-" but tommy holds his ground and wilbur. ohh wilbur. "why'd you have to make it so hard?"
#my post#this is just me rambling sorry i love that stream ive watched it sososossoooo many times from all 3 povs#AND AFTER TOMMY AND QUACKITY LEAVE....#wilbur replaces the button. i just need to know that its there.#and he goes on and on about how hes such a showman. how he shouldve just pressed it when he was alone.#but he just NEEDED someone to see him he needed someone to bear witness. guh#shaking. shaking. shaking. tommy put so much trust in him in that moment. he looked at him and said i know you want to hurt yourself but yo#wouldnt hurt me. and is he right to believe that? is he? maybe back in lmanberg maybe back during 'your life is worth more than the#revolution' but in pogtopia?? during 'wilbur wanted to be treated poorly so he treated others poorly'? it was a gamble for sure#and i mean as time went on tommy realized that. that as much as he cared about wilbur he couldnt trust him all the way.#but either way. in that moment i think tommy was sure that wilbur wouldnt press it if he realized that tommyd be killed as well.#that even though at this point people were saying wilbur was crazy. that hed lost it. that even if he didnt get it he knew something was#different about wilbur now. in that moment he bet everything on if there was anything of his brother left he wouldnt hurt him.#fucking. collapses onto the floor#disclaimer if anyone actually reads this far im not trying to slander pogbur in 2024 by calling him crazy thats just how like. every single#other character saw him.#anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk
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when you first start the cousland origin, you can have some conversations with arl howe, teyrn cousland, and duncan that shed some interesting light on the political situation in ferelden. it’s definitely the origin where you get the most context on the rebellion and on cailan and his father. while howe isn’t exactly the most trustworthy of sources, he is also one of the most openly critical of cailan that we have access to, which i think is worthy of interest
howe remembers maric with what the toolset describes as “genuine fondness”: “your father hasn’t spoken of our time with him? that man took care of his friends. as they say, he was large as life and twice as tall!” i think we should pay particular attention to that man took care of his friends.
what howe’s talking about is a really important aspect of kingship, where you win the consent and enthusiasm of the nobility for your rule by offering rewards like wealth, land, and prestige to the loyal. kingship is always less stable than it’s portrayed, and this is one of the ways that kings must essentially sell to the nobility that answering to them is worth their time, which would be especially important in ferelden given everything we know about its culture. fereldans believe someone only has power when it is given by the loyalty of those below them, who have the right to freely rescind that loyalty. the dao codex says that “the sight of [fereldan kings] asking for—and working to win—the support of ‘lesser’ men is a source of constant wonder to foreign ambassadors.”
i suspect howe is remembering a maric fresh from the victories of the rebellion, who was able to reward those who had followed him with the spoils of those victories. at the end of the stolen throne, we see that in the final days of the rebellion, maric was killing those who had betrayed his mother to the orlesians even when they arrived under truce to meet him on holy ground. in dao, we see no lingering orlesian nobility except for those who married in and continue to be met with marked hostility. i think we can safely surmise that maric elected to make no conciliatory measures and give everything to those who had followed him; with the orlesians on the run and his people out for blood, he was in a strong enough position to do so, and it certainly served to win the fond memories of men like howe.
by contrast, howe goes on to say, “it’s too bad cailan isn’t half that.” the toolset notes establish very clearly that it’s the same issue, elaborating on howe’s thoughts: “bitter turn, i don’t get as much from the current king”, and “disdainful, i have no use for him, he does me no favours”. this isn’t a minor character detail, if howe’s last words when killed by the player are anything to go by. “maker spit on you... i deserved... more...” whatever it is that howe feels he should have been given, by the crown or anyone else, it characterises his actions and his defining treachery.
it’s in these same conversations that we see another side of this demonstrated. there are two points where howe can openly criticise the king, and bryce immediately admonishes him for both. one even has the toolset note: “speaks sharply, as a lord to a lesser man, not a friend to an equal”. it definitely comes across that way; the way he tells howe “that’s enough” is not far off the voice he uses when the player, his child, displeases him. bryce can’t tolerate any criticism of cailan, as the couslands in dao are ardent supporters of the king. to venture some hc, i suspect that this is not merely royalist fervour, and that howe’s resentment for having been given less is matched by bryce’s awareness of the precariousness of having more.
over the centuries, the theirins have consolidated their power and eradicated almost all the teyrns (the noble rank that is second only to the king). with the only other lingering teyrn being loghain, who is essentially part and parcel of the royal family, the couslands stand alone as the only real rivals to theirin power within ferelden. there are rumours that bryce was once considered for king instead of the theirins; he too could have decided to believe he “deserved more”. but unlike howe, and perhaps understandably given his strong position and happy growing family, he is satisfied with what he has. he will not take the risk of even the slightest challenge being made within his hall
(i expect that bryce’s satisfaction with the current situation further spurred howe’s dissatisfaction to its heights, given the complicated cousland-howe history and the fact that he was expected to accept a friend he had fought beside as a superior for the rest of his life.)
i don’t think howe’s judgement on cailan is likely to be without basis. we don’t hear about any victories the young king has to his name, from which he could have passed around spoils. (to be fair, cailan had harder luck than maric in this regard. a king who raises a successful rebellion gets to bring glory and prestige to everyone who follows him, whereas a king trying to rebuild after that rebellion mostly gets to bring, uh, taxes probably. especially on wealthy centres of trade like howe’s amaranthine, one might assume.) cailan also takes a far more diplomatic approach to the question of orlais, which perhaps predictably did not win over many nobles of howe’s generation. it makes sense that cailan’s strongest supporters would instead be men like bryce who hope for things to simply continue, peacefully, as they are. perhaps in another world where cailan had won the battle of ostagar, he might have earned wider respect. (you could actually argue on this basis that there’s more sense and purpose to cailan’s glory-seeking than he usually gets credit for.) but howe already acts before ostagar, which can only demonstrate his certainty in cailan’s failings at this point: his belief that even if cailan could win, he would not be stable enough to pursue justice for the couslands
#i dont like first naming bryce. it made sense here but feels disrespectful#anyway i think that covers most of the thoughts i have here#possibly a lot of this is surface level and obvious but i think abt this a lot so i didnt want to assume anything#you can go on to make a point here about how howe gets land and titles left and right from loghain#because loghain is a battle strategist not equipped for rule so he’s relying on maric’s tactics#and also that land is cheap to him right now (or not a thing he HAS in order to LOSE it when he gives it away)#because theyre at civil war#there’s not a lot of foresight in it is my point its just about winning this whatever it takes and howe is easy to buy now#wouldve caused a lot of problems for anora down the line in a very different timeline maybe#ANYWAY. my point is that im *not* saying all that bc im tired and this post is finished goodbye
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listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.
yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?
maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".
get a better joke
#toy txt post#god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones#let it flop..........pls#internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop#i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having#1 million bajillion disclaimers#virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word#disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word#grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used#to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023#and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like#im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild#i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good'#like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you#but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches'#'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay#god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil#but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful#and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like#hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine#and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr#and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like#and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay#its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat#? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty?#you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right#stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny#whatever#if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll#i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.
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i think ive been so enamoured with tragedy and unhappy endings recently because it's so common for us to take comfort in the idea that we're okay because we will be okay, you know, the whole "it'll be okay in the end and if it's not okay it's not the end" type thing, this desire to put our faith in things turning out eventually, and that's why people sometimes get upset if something doesn't have a happy ending that gives them closure. but i honestly think there's something equally or even more comforting in having to cope with the fact that in reality the happy ending can't always be counted on. in trying to accept that fact, you're sort of forced to find your comfort and meaning elsewhere, which is what tragedy is asking you to do. if you know a story is going to end badly, can you still invest in it? can you survive it for as long as you're asked to? because then you have to concede that the things that happen and the lessons you learn during the story still are meaningful and fulfilling even if they don't culminate. if the story is unfinished and the threads are loose and you don't get closure, can you still find a way to let this frustrating and unfinished experience mean something to you? you kind of have to. can you be okay with it if you aren't able to believe that things will be okay in the end? without looking forward, can you be okay right now
#rookposting#apropos of nothing#threads of this get stuck in a lot of my work because i think about it a lot#i think when you're going through something difficult the easiest way people offer comfort is to say itll be okay#but when youre really in the worst of something sometimes you cant believe it even if it IS true you know?#i think it's valuable to have multiple sources of comfort then#instead of putting all the eggs in the basket of this too shall pass#are we okay in the event that it doesnt. can we still be okay if it doesnt. is there still value in right now#you know that post thats like the love was there it didnt change anything but it was there#anyway. sorry for the ramble 💓
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quickly scribbled some redraws of a few pokemas stickers bc oh my God he is so cute in them
#pokemon#pokemon bw#pokemon n#natural harmonia gropius#n harmonia#sorry for no summer n his stickers didnt really have any interesting posing </3#i still cant believe the anni and sygna suit outfits are real like he looks so Good. oh my god. oh my God. my god#the ex color one was just for fun bc somehow i havent drawn him in those colors yet?? he looks so good in black#i dont think i can say ''he looks good in [x]'' though i'd. probably say that about anything HJDHFJHF#n beloved...... did you guys know i like him :) he's my favorite :)#clai's art
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by no means definitive, and will potentially be updated as i continue rereading. but yeah
#cringe#didn't think i needed to say this but im not saying you need to agree with me#im not interested in throwing hands over any ships like i literally could not care less if you disagree#ppl just ask me about my ships so i figured id put them all in one place#thats why i didnt tag it with anything#be respectful or i will block you idfk it's pretty simple
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THE WELL AND THE LIGHTHOUSE PMV/ANIMATIC
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very very jean valjean centric because i love him and he deserves the world <3 im not sure if pmv or animatic would apply better to this, but either way, i hope you enjoy it!
#about the events i didnt include in this: i know their significance they were just cut out because i couldnt find a way to apply it#to the lyrics or there were other moments i wanted to include more#ok with that out of the way every tag past this one will be me talking about the process of making this etc etc#basically a yap fest and fandom tags#45+ hours of work wow#never made anything like this before!#im very happy with how it turned out though :3#blood sweat and tears went into this#at points i didnt think id be able to finish this but! its here! i finished it! aah!!!!!#file size was too big to post straight to tumblr had to upload it to youtube first </3#UGH IM SO PROUD OF THIS#i did a lot of vaguely talking about it but ITS HEEREEEE!!!!!! ITS DONE! FINALLY!!!!#not sure what else to say other than wow this took me a long time and it drove me half insane#les miserables#les mis#jean valjean#valjean#inspector javert#javert#fanart#les amis de l'abc#< tagging them as a group because theyre there for one frame so it counts </3 and for some reason half the fandom is on that tag. why.#sorry les amis fans youve been deceived#art#marius pontmercy#cosette fauchelevent#pmv#animatic#dont you dare let this flop. please.#i spent 2 months on this please please please please dont let it flop.
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I feel like ive talked abt this before but “[character] is actually ___ in Earth years” is an INVALID take because yea sure Kaladin would be mid twenties in Earth years but thats NOT the age Brandon wrote him as. If he WANTED Kaladin to he treated like a 26 year old by the readers, he wouldn’t hide that information in WoB and Wikis. He would state that in the book. Plus, we have no evidence that Rosharian humans (or even humans thoughout the cosmere) dont age in relation to their planets year (blah blah Connection)
Like. Pls let me repeat. Brandon wouldve stated these facts in the book if he wanted it to be treated as full canon and unambiguous fact. Kaladin is supposed to be portrayed as 19/20. Shallan is supposed to be portrayed as 17/18. Being like “oh actually Shallan is 23” or whatever ignores a crucial part of her story, that shes SO YOUNG to have all these things happen to her
#i think im being like unarticulate about this#and maybe a little rude#but he didnt choose their age just to put down OUTSIDE OF THE BOOK#ITS NOT MENTIONED ONCE IN THE BOOKS#‘oh yea actually theyre a different age because of years’#that doesnt?? make sense#and also very very very technically if you wanna get bitchy abt it#anything he doesnt publish and put in books can totally be treated as like#author headcanon#IF you wanna be bitchy#which im not#im still saying its like a pointless thing to say#because we wouldve PORTRAYED IT that way if he MEANT IT that way#stormlight archive#cosmere#the stormlight archive#brandon sanderson#sorchaposting
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stranger things season one 2016 was so fucking incredible. it exists as an entirely different entity to me than the rest of the show. you literally just had to be there. to this day nothing has ever come close to the amount of universal love for a fictional story that stranger things first received. ive been chasing this high for eight years.
#ik theres a lot of young fans of this show that are teenagers rn and listen#if you were too young to watch this when it first came out I DONT THINK YOU REALIZE HOW HUGE IT WAS AT THE TIME#THE FIRST TEASER FOR SEASON TWO LITERALLY PREMIERED DURING THE SUPERBOWL#THAT ALPHABET WALL DID SOMETHING TO OUR BRAINS AND CHANGED THE WAY WE MAKE AND CONSUME SCIFI FOREVER#i genuinely believe that scene of joyce looking around at all the lights is one of the most iconic scenes in tv history#like i cant even explain it to you we lost our fucking minds over this show it was unlike anything anybody has ever seen#this was such a pivotal memory of my junior and senior year year of high school#everyone was wearing merch my teachers would gush about it in class everyone tuned in to watch the cast on fallon it was EVERYWHERE#and do not even get me started on halloween that year oh my god#it was just so fucking fun i miss it#just rewatched s1 and all i can think about is 17 year old me losing my fucking mind#its such an amazing season#i do understand why some people say they wish it stopped at season one im glad they didnt but i see where theyre coming from#stranger things#byler
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rewriting my childhood friends jason and danny post be like: “how do i better convey that jason is also as “ride or die” in this friendship with danny as danny is,,,” (while still being from danny's point of view)
“Oh i know!” *turns 85 degrees towards Danny* “:) im going to hurt you”
#dpxdc#dp x dc#cfau#dead on main#imo my original post didn’t convey that well just how equally unhinged jason is towards danny as danny is to jason#like this is not one sided it is mutual ‘i will lose my shit if anything happens to you’ behavior folks#and i didnt think it shows that well in the og post since its all from danny’s pov#but i’ve added a few parts - albeit kinda subtle in some areas - that hint or show that jason is about the same amount as feral#as danny. the biggest obvious one to me is this scene where he gets hurt. kinda spoilers kinda not since i dont say how he gets hurt
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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