#I DID NOT EVEN REALISE THAT HELP
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"aphobia doesn't exist"
bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it
#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area#so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying#even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations#now things are more calmed but damn#mind your own bussiness#i believe she knows more about herself than you#sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind#insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about”#or because they “just have to wait for the right person”#or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something”#i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself#and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one#aromantic#arospec#asexual#aroace#acespec
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A bunch of Destiny NPC's I've been drawing to help practice my portrait skills :] This is the first of a group of 5 (why did I do this to myself)
#Destiny#destiny the game#I wanted to colour these but it would've taken 2837428347 years so. *greyscales ur npcs*#Did not realise how big the destiny cast was before doing this. I'm doing 60 characters total and that's not even everyone in the game#let alone the ghosts and lore-only characters. help#sigh. time to tag everyone.#zavala#ikora rey#cayde 6#the speaker#banshee 44#amanda holliday#lord shaxx#master rahool#executor hideo#arach jalaal#lakshmi 2#dominus ghaul#exos are so hard to draw....#my art#digital art
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Thinking about "your weakness is how you always want to be the hero" and how the series returns to this at the end
Li Lianhua hated how he acted as Li Xiangyi and spent years trying to distance himself from it, but ultimately he still fell back into the similar patterns, for all his added experience
His main priority was always to "do the right thing" regardless of how that would impact on those around him. And it *did* impact those around him. From Qiao Wanmian and Shan Gudao as Li Xiangyi to Fang Duobing and Di Feisheng as Li Lianhua
Giving the Styx flower to the emperor so he could use it as leverage to guarantee Fang Duobing and his family's safety. Using the last of his power to save Yun Biqiu. Constantly putting others above himself whilst actively refusing to recognise that his self-sacrificial nature would hurt those he cared about most
And sure, he thinks he's going to die anyway. They're going to be hurt regardless and he can't do anything about that. His odds are low of the Styx flower even working. But ultimately, he refuses to even consider trying. Li Xiangyi has been dead a long time and Li Lianhua is just there to tide things over. What value is the life of a ghost
To the end, he lives and dies a hero. To the end, he refuses to live for himself.
#sth about how he almost managed to live for himself but his past and need to do right doomed him.#those missing years before canon starts were probably the closest he got but even then the knowledge he couldn't use martial arts#must have killed him (no pun intended). because he'd put so much stock in his identity as sigu sect leader + hero + prodigy#so to have such a massive part of his identity stripped from him... honestly it doesn't seem that he ever fully comes to terms with it#but he makes progress and he tries to do better. + that leads to him becoming a different type of 'hero' than the symbol he was originally#deep down he wants to help people with all he has but his capacity isn't infinite + at some point can only be taken from himself#mysterious lotus casebook#mlc spoilers#also to be clear I mention shan gudao not to say lxy should have realised earlier bc for a lot of the time he was too young to notice#and later on sgd did better at hiding his intentions. but more for how lxy tunnel visioned towards his idea of righteousness#and steamrolled over everyone else. both sgd and qwm were placed far below the importance of the sigu sect#and lxy's arrogance made it such that sigu became reliant on him alone as he shut others out (hence domino fall once he went).#idk if he could ever have 'fixed' what was btwn him and sgd bc it was so deep rooted but I do think that his actions#helped convince sgd that sgd was entirely in the right to choose his path#mlc#edit: just went and checked the exact wording of the TL and it's actually 'you like being a hero' rather than 'you want to be the hero'#which is different but still close enough in implications for my point to stand (I think)
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One day, they will reconcile, but that day will come when Vale realizes it wasn't some master plan. Marc was just a kid with only half of his frontal lobe fully developed, acting just like him in his 20s messy and chaotic on the track. What happened at Sepang and Valencia was partly his fault, too. If Vale hadn't made that press conference, calling Marc out and expecting him to crumble like others had, Marc wouldn't have decided to follow him around on the track. The same goes for Valencia. With all the rumors and personal attacks, how could Marc let him win, especially when that person had broken his heart? There are two people responsible for what happened in 2015, and one of them was the older wiser one
#qnd still love her fr i think 2015 when you read what happen pre doing back to yamaha the song the brekup etc etc#he was not in yhe bedt state of mind and he has the rigjt to be msd a th the situetion#even i belive in some of his world cause fr the padock was messier#and evrydy sides were saying syufff#but i dont think the was a evil plan#maybe one day they realise thqt cause marc did#beofre all ik he never acpeted tha he did help jorge win in valencia#he now wha part he play on it#i wish vale did tooo#marc marquez#valentino rossi#rosquez#motogp
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Me, having recently got into the TADC fandom: Awww, Kingmaster is such a cute ship, I really like it!
My Brain: Wait, since Kinger is a human and Caine is an AI, and AI usually falls into the same classification as robots, would that then technically make Kinger a Robotfucker?
Me:
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc caine#caine#tadc kinger#kinger#kingmaster#kingleader#royalteeth#kinger x caine#caine x kinger#christ why are there so many ship names for these two-#BUT LIKE#HOW DID I REALISE THIS. WHY DID I REALISE THIS#sorry guys ive been cursed with this knowlege so now i must spread it#its even worse if you take the Lead Dev Kinger theory into account as well#do with this information what you will#robot fucker#help me
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the never stop blowing up vhs is where cute twinks go to get harmed
#not art#nsbu spoilers#kirk blade.... johnny manhattan..... maybe tenuously cosmo chase#also genuinely I Love that vic ethanol is showing himself to be bit of a dick#and kingskin conversely First Actual Communication With The Player is like. idk I just work here#(I am vibrating in my seat abt liv bloodlust. shes experiencing a bit of emotional consequence. hope she powers thru it and#becomes even worse)#I also love that g13 and jack manhattan are both like. gone#I know in adventuring party they're charting it to shape up as like. usha also slowly losing herself to the work like g13 did#and them becoming one entity entirely in the sense that their selves stop mattering in the face of their hacker capacity#(also called the Forum Moderator Dilemma)#but I also like to think that g13 handed it back to usha cleanly in the second episode with that one interaction#and is now fully unplugged from everything. left the movie. man is Sleeping#we all agree that paula ate jack manhattan tho I think it's fine to assume that#and! the way russell has been like. fully going whole hog full tilt into helping other people and moving the plot along#while Suggesting That Doing Self Reflection And Learning Lessons From This World Might Help to Other People#like I love that. 1/lieutenant syndrome but also 2/extremely transfem coded#like past the ''ohh I have realisationd I'm coming to'' stage. far past. man is bored with thinking abt genders#not new realisation to him! had that thought two decades ago. not motivated enough by anything to change anything#I think I just love the scenario of like magical mystical journey in a fantasy world clearly designed to make you contemplate ur gender#and ur like oh no what? we did that years ago. whats up#deeply interested tho. open up russell we wanna see whats up with u#dang is perfect no note 10/10 more important than anything else he is genre aware and savvy and that truly is all he needs here#the ''let's make it fun'' scene he does with liv is SO good I love him. Im so scared the vhs will snatch him away. hes too genre perfect
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doctor confirmed that 👉 this guy 👈 got pcos and i just got an implant to at the very least get my whacky periods under control and hopefully get them to stop entirely
#i also have thought about how i was cared for today#i go to a free place that has rotating doctors so i didnt see the same one that told me to get a ultrasound of my ovaries + blood test#previous one was a cis woman and she insisted me having multiple cysts on my ovary (that was double in size to the other one) wasnt enough#(for a pcos diagnosis) so she insisted i redo my blood test on the 2nd day of my period#which i didnt realise at the time is dumb as hell cause my periods are so chaotic im not even sure when they start and when they stop#the doc i saw today was a trans doctor (using iel in french! love to see it) and after i explained my situation was like#well theres no point to check your hormones here since we dont have a point of reference#and your ultrasound shows you have multiple cysts in your ovary so thats pcos#then explained to me what that does to your body & all that its not dangerous per say but its good to monitor and take hormones to help#and i said i was already considering the implant to stop my periods and they said that can be arranged today#told me the other alternatives and the risks associated with the implant but tbh my choice was already made#i mean of course idk how much cisness and transness has anything to do with this#but i had seen another cis doctor about my periods being whack when they started being whack#and he did an ultrasound saw nothing and was like “well nothing wrong with you” and that was the end of it#i definitely felt more comfortable and better cared for in the hands of a peer#(also i had to try three pharmacy to get the implant cause the other ones were out of it#walked way more today than planned but good day regardless!)
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I don't know, but it's apparently very suspicious warehouse.
@definitelynotdetectivekranz, I think we should call off the search. I just got a call from some dude who needs us to examine a,,, warehouse.
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Ok, so I had this dream last night right? And it was mostly nonsensical and weird and silly, but there was this moment...
#ellennart#dream diary#fairy#dreams#pirate#I was the winged fairy girl at this point during a big battle#someone sliced me right down the front through my corset and dress#it was inspired I think by that fight in Zorro between Zorra and Elena#except NOT flirty dude was trying to kill me and sliced a wound down my chest#not super deep but still#and then this other guy#the one in the drawing#defected from the enemy side killed the other dude and very distressed tried to help me#which involved a very funny moment of him pulling my hands back to see the wound and realising my corset had been cut clean through#and us both getting extremely embarrassed and him pulling the corset back together and telling me to keep pressure on it#literally the most YA romantic comedy moment I've ever experienced#I think the main influences of this dream were that I recently watched a youtube reaction vid of someone watching Zorro for the first time#A drawing someone I follow did of that popular YA fae novel that I've never read#and looking at tangled concept art#and actually definitely the first aid course I did this week#because I remember them talking about how you need to cut clothing off someone to put the defib pads on their chest#and I was uncomfortable with the thought of someone having to do that to me#AND the fact I was paired with a cute guy I'd never met and we had to practice putting each other in the recovery position#which was SUPER awkward#so clearly my brain was like You know what would be fun? an even MORE awkward and painful scenario!#but make it fantasy!
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im so old (<- reached the point in her life where she gets v protective of high schoolers entering college and wants to imbue them with all her knowledge from surviving the shitshow that is university. children it will fucking suck here's a powerpoint of my top 25 fuckups and how YOU can avoid them)
#esp adhd kids#i want and hope for college to be better for you than it was for me#because it can be such a happy place !!!! fuck !!!!!#its ok to make mistakes btw that's what it being human entails#you'll make your own unique mistakes and nothing i do will prevent that#but if you can learn from mine#or even just listen to mine and realise that there are people who relate and understand#maybe you'll be able to ask for a little more help than i did#and id love that for you
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love my irls to death but sometimes it’s like looking into a mystical pool to see me 2 years ago. and sometimes I think ‘if I could give me from 2 years ago some advice I’d know exactly what to say to him’ and then I give said advice to my irls and they go ‘no im not doing that lmao.’ I am trying to help you here. I am trying to help you skip 2 years of incredibly difficult realisations and recovery. and yet they all continue to refuse any help I offer. Well Fine. not my job I guess.
#‘uggghh my life sucks’#DRINK WATER EAT GOOD FOOD FUCKING RESPECT YOURSELF EVEN SLIGHTLY FOR 5 SECONDS#DONT TREAT YOUR ISSUES AS REASONS TO BE DICKS ON PURPOSE TO ANYONE TRYING TO HELP YOU#‘lmao why would that help at all im not even going to bother’ PLEASE. PLEASE.#I learnt it the hard way . please don’t.#’well how did YOU get better’#I had all my support systems ripped away from me and learnt it was recovery or dying .#and then finally realised I wanted to live. at least for small things. I can make soup tomorrow I can make art I can live.#and I’d rather YOU DIDNT HAVE TO SUFFER TO REALISE THIS.#christtttttt……
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when you find an eah modern au fic of apple moving into raven's apartment and you eagerly read it bc it was also tagged with dexter/raven AND daring/lizzie and its going well, the characters in a modern setting are portrayed so well and its funny and then BAM! only one chapter released and it was last updated in 2015
#AND LIZZIE WASNT EVEN INTRODUCED.......#fell to my knees when i realised#ok i did see that it only had one chapter and it was posted 2015 BUT I COULDNT HELP BUT READ IT ANYWAYS#curse you fanfiction dot net and all your unfinished fics from 2015.......#ever after high#eah#eah fanfic#eah fanfiction#raven queen#apple white
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and also just adding onto that, the recent wave of like armchair diagnosing ppl as npd is sooo annoying. Like its actually a serious condition, you CANNOT diagnose someone as npd with just one story or interaction. Sometimes ppl are not "narcissistic", they're just assholes? It feels like every second story i hear, there's ppl going "thats a narcissistic trait yk :/" and its like just bc its a narcissistic trait doesnt mean they have npd??
yes defintely !! it's so so harmful and i have not seen any other disorder (except maybe aspd?) get as much demonisation and hate as npd has and it is genuinely so heartbreaking bc it is a serious dissociative disorder that does Not inherently make anyone a bad person and yet !! like the term "narcissistic abuse" and also ppl just generally equating [mostly covert] abuse w narcissism is so immensely Harmful .
anyway i think we should bring back calling people mean, assholes, rude, gaslighters, abusers, etc instead of being like "my mother was a narc abuser so all ppl w npd are abusers and will never change!" etc etc bc it does 3 horrible things:
1) implies all people with npd are abusers
2) implies people with npd are not capable of self-improvement just like any other human being
3) offloads the horrible actions of abusers onto a disorder, thereby taking away the responsibility they had/choices they made in the situation and instead blames the (completely inaccurate + harmful!!) perceived invariability/ubiquitous evil of npd symptoms/traits .
"how to spot a narcissist" babe are we birdwatching now for ppl with a dissociative disorder or...???
#basically i had a breakdown moment where i realised that despite upholding lying as like. a moral principle .#i used to lie a lot in the past. but i didn't rly realise it then. and having this realisation kind of like...broke down a lot#of self image issues etc and i started looking into Why i did what i did etc...obvs i felt an immense amt of guilt#and while researching i found npd and i was like oh the symptoms actually kinda match#i started doing research into it and oh my godddd the amount of absolutely horrifying articles etc etc i found#nothing was helpful and everything was just what to do if ur parent is an evil narcissist 🤪 and it was just like. signs of covert abuse.#and i was like. even if i did have this disorder i would be so discouraged for getting help bc of this!! there were like 2 places on this#whole internet w an ounce of compassion. anyway i talked to my therapist and she said i definitely do not have npd and there is a much bett#explanation etc bc im autistic and there are comorbidities etc etc but i cannot forget the sheer . feeling of heartbreak and horror.#like the way that these people were being talked about as though they are animals. whole human beings who were abused and mistreated#ive never in my life seen such blatant and rampant and LOUD villinisation and demonisation of ppl with a disorder#i realised this was a problem b4 i went down the research rabbit hole but this just made me realise the sheer extent of it. truly disgustin
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:)
#LETSGOOO MOMOOOOOOOOOOOOO#luffy grabbing lightning bolts... nami youve got competition....#kaido saying roger and oden didnt have devil fruits and how you cant conquer the world with one... well they are also dead. rip bozos#NOOOO HIYORIIIIIII SOMEONE KILL THIS MAN!!!!#JESUS CHRIST THAT PUNCH!!! onigashima is on the way. move it. he is too used to zoro....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1074#the new opening is cute... wish the different scenes could be longer bc i have been sotpping to see them well akdhaks#can someone PLEASE help hiyori..... there are too many people just chilling DENJIRO!!!!!! FUCK YES!!!! but now pleaseeee finish him off...#omg the ballon ajdksjjs wish fullfilled!!!! YEAAHHH MOMOOOOOO#the samurais praying to luffy.... do i even need to make a post about luffy as a god now.... it's just like plain obvious and not bc of nik#episode 1075#kaido lore??? did he betray rocks pirates??? the fucking witch again??? how tf did she orchestrate all this.#she started how the value of someone is determined by war. which considering this is a shonen and strength is everything... i appreciate it#which might be why kaido is such a good antagonist to luffy. he wants people to live as slaves to make weapons and create wars#the strong ones get to be soldiers and act out that war. and kaido enjoys fighting also.... luffy on the other hand sees people for what#they are and the freedom they should have and he will beat kaido by not engaging in his style of fighting to be the strongest but by being#the silliest. literally. its just too good.#<- official analysis for now i guess#oh jesus..... LETSGOOO MOMOOOOOO omg luffy can see the wishes..... FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH#luffy wishing for a world where his friends get to eat whatever they want.... oof..... tama.....#i have realised before the timeskip i cried bc situations were sad but ever since fishman island i have teared up bc of happiness....#like at the end of fishman island and now... wait except wci but that was a drama so one exception#episode 1076
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and the finished version of my moroleth art!
decided to keep this one fairly simple, but enjoy some pensive art of my queer punk former nightmare former aetherblade eventual sylvari commander (he/they, kid has such a history), post a rotsap attack that left him chronically (and visibly) ill for several years
#im always like hey i should tell people about mye and moroleth and then im like where to fucking begin#do you have three hours?#but yeah no long story short this is my co commander with my friend's commander the two shared a dream and have always been very close#but there was an extremely dramatic falling out in the early years and it took a while to get back to where they are now#(she still saved his life when this happened even though they were not at all on the same page at the time)#(but then as soon as he woke up they got into an even bigger argument and he walked out which did nooooot help the whole recovery thing)#(and then the next time they met was in tower of nightmares! :D)#(wherein he was attempting to defect from the aetherblades)#(bc he'd realised at that point scarlet was willing to hurt way more people than he was)#(but like. fun hypothetical! if you are in ToN and you run into your evil best friend and they say they're on your side now)#(and also they still look like they're dying even though it's been months)#(how long does it take before you stop dismissing it as a hallucination?)#gw2#gw2 ocs#sylvari#moroleth#mine#my art#toxic trail
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Orphell's encounter with Lispen at the Tower
Did you ever wonder how Orphell came across Lispen at the Tower that time, or assume he just wondered into the wrong place at the right time by mere coincidence?
I think I finally figured out how this came about.
We see that when Deon informs Orphell of the current situation in the Tower, he's particularly responsive to matters concerning Kielnode.
This is possibly because he feels some loyalty for Kielnode as someone his senior in both being in the Tower and leaving it, and the person who motivated him to take the right course of action.
So it is quite possible that after exiting his room... he specifically went to search for Kielnode.
And how would he go about doing that?
By following the scent of his blood.
We saw back in Ishuella that Orphell seems to have a keen sense of smell, especially where blood in involved, to the degree he is able to pick up on the scent of any blood in the entire area.
Kielnode was clearly greatly injured from his tortures, and Deon's report itself infers this. So Orphell quite possibly followed the smell of his blood to track where he was taken, and by whom.
Following the scent of Kielnode's blood leads Orphell to find the culprit at the end of the trail.
Lispen is presumably on the balcony he flew off of with Kielnode to chain him to the cliffside, which is ultimately where the trail of blood would have ended inside the Tower.
In the end Orphell did manage to use all his skills of deduction and tracking to find the culprit behind it all... too bad it still didn't leave him prepared to confront who he truly was. 🥲
#black haze#orphell#lispen#analysis#theory#my post#I'm glad I finally have some answers#maybe others already realised this idk#but Orphell was meant to go help the kids escape#instead he somehow runs right into Lispen in some balcony elsewhere when no one else did#but now it makes sense#he was tracking down where Kielnode was taken via the scent of his blood and found Lispen at the end#hooray to another successful(?) episode of me finding answers to questions no one else was asking!#No one: .#Me: I fOuND tHe aNSweR GuYs#also love the implication in Orphell's small delay in answering Deon's question of whether he has a suspect in mind#like he was already feeling suspicious of Lispen but didn't have enough grounds to say anything by#or he just didn't want to drag Deon into something even more dangerous RIP </3
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