#I CANT STAY CALM | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

9902sgirl · 10 months ago

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THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! HE IS HERE!! THE KING IS HERE!!!!

My bad, got excited, but anyway.

The force connection? That's about to take me out, especially since the extra blurb we got last week.

I love how you showed how quick Anakin was to anger, and wanting justice here. That was 1000% in character.

Are we gonna get more Ahsoka interaction? She's one of my faves ngl and I feel like you would do her so so well!!

Anyway, counting down the minutes till Sunday!

Event Horizon

Chapter Seven: Forward

Chapter WC: 4,854

Chapter Tags/Warnings: None

A/N: I decided to split this chapter into two because there's a lot of dialogue, and the cliffhanger was just too good to pass up. The second part will be uploaded on Sunday though, so you won't have to wait too long!

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Coruscant, 21 BBY

The Archives are silent, the only sound the faint hum of the overhead lights. You sit at one of the holoterminals, a holocron floating in front of you, the images shifting and changing.

You're still searching for answers, for some connection, anything that might help you find your master, but you've hit another dead end. You've read every file, every record, but there's nothing. Nothing but rumors and hearsay, and you're no closer to finding the truth than you were all those years ago.

You had tried to keep your promise to Obi-Wan, to let the past go and to focus on the present, but the nagging feeling that there was something more, something hidden, refused to leave you. Seeing Vayel again had only stoked the flames.

The feeling of blackness that had risen up inside you that day had receded again, but it hadn't left completely. You were able to control it, to suppress it, but it was always there, lurking just beneath the surface. You weren't foolish enough to believe that it was gone for good. But you were careful not to feed it, careful not to indulge it, and you hoped that by avoiding its temptations, you could keep it at bay.

Your time spent relegated to the Archives was a punishment, but it was also a lesson and a much-needed reminder. You were a Jedi, and you needed to act like it. Your emotions were getting the better of you, and your actions were putting others at risk. That was not what the Order stood for, and it was not the kind of person you wanted to be. You needed to do better, be better, and the Archives were a way to do that.

It was a reminder that there was more to being a Jedi than the fighting, the battles. There was a whole universe of knowledge, of wisdom, that lied here in these halls. You had combed through many of the shelves during your youth, and even more during the past few years as an investigator, but now you found yourself delving deeper, searching for answers that were eluding you.

In your downtime between sorting the endless piles of data and the other tasks Madam Jocasta assigned you, you would find yourself pouring over old texts, ancient manuscripts, and forbidden holocrons, searching for clues. It was a dangerous game, and one that could easily lead you down a dark path, but it was a risk you were willing to take.

But, like the rest of your efforts, this too has yielded no results.

You lean back in the chair and sigh. The exhaustion is catching up with you, and you rub your eyes, the pressure a dull ache. The past few weeks have been a blur, and you haven't had a proper night's sleep in what feels like forever. It's starting to take its toll.

You've just resolved yourself to seeking out more caf when a pair of footsteps approach, the sound echoing off the marble floor. You don't need to look to know who it is, and you don't bother to lift your hands from your face.

"I knew I would find you here," Obi-Wan's voice says, the tone teasing.

"Well, this is my punishment," you say, and despite your efforts, the corner of your mouth quirks upwards. "The question is, what are you doing here?"

You finally drop your hands and turn in your chair to see he's leaning against one of the shelves, a familiar smile on his lips. His robes rumpled, his beard a bit longer than usual, but his eyes are bright, and there's a spark of mischief there.

"Looking for you, of course."

You huff, a near laugh were it not for the frustration brewing inside you. “I haven’t seen you in weeks, and now when the final hour of my sentence falls, you show up? Typical."

“It’s your punishment, not mine,” Obi-Wan reminds you, his grin a touch too smug.

You roll your eyes, but there's no real heat in it. The familiarity, the banter, is comforting, and it feels good to have someone here, someone who cares.

"How is Senator Flessom, anyway?" he asks.

You shift uncomfortably in your seat. You've done your best not to think about her, about the last time you saw her, but the memory is still fresh, and the shame is a heavy burden.

"Fine, I suppose," you reply, the words coming out more curt than intended, and you sigh. "I haven't really spoken to her since... well, you know."

He nods, and the silence hangs between you, the tension thick in the air.

The truth is, you haven't seen her since the attack. You'd left her at the Senate, and you'd returned to the Temple, your mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, guilt, anger, shame. The memories are a haze, but the feelings are still there, and they're not going away anytime soon.

Obi-Wan had returned from his mission the next day, and he'd sought you out immediately, the worry and concern plain on his face. You'd told him everything, and he'd listened. You'd wanted, no, needed, someone to blame, and the words had tumbled out of you, a jumbled mess of anger and regret.

And then, the shame had hit, and the tears had fallen, and the reality of the situation had set in. You'd failed. Not only had you put her at risk, but you'd been careless, reckless, and it was a miracle that no one had died.

You'd expected him to chide you, to reprimand you, but instead, he'd pulled you into a tight embrace. He'd held you until the tears had dried, and the sobs had subsided, and the anger had faded, and when he'd finally released you, his eyes had been filled with understanding and a touch of pride.

"She was right," he'd said, his voice soft, and you'd frowned, unsure of his meaning.

"Right about what?" you'd asked, and he'd smiled sadly at you.

"About you," he'd replied. "She said you were a good person, and she was right."

His words had cut through the last of your defenses, and the guilt had risen, the shame a crushing weight. But, despite the pain, the anger, the hurt, a small part of you had felt something else, something unfamiliar. Something that had sparked a flame inside you, a warmth that had spread through your body.

Helora had seen something in you, something you'd never known was there, and it had given her hope, had made her believe that there was still good in the galaxy. And despite the pain and the disappointment, a small part of you had believed her.

You clear your throat, the memories fading. "I should apologize to her, I know, but..."

Your voice trails off, and the words hang in the air, the unspoken feelings filling the space between you. You know you should, but the thought of facing her, of admitting your mistakes, your failures, is too much.

"There are no easy answers, I'm afraid," Obi-Wan says quietly. You sigh, and your shoulders slump. He's right, and there's no point in avoiding the truth.

"She's safe, at least," he adds. "That's the important thing."

"Yeah, I suppose," you mutter. You're not convinced, but the fact that she's alive is something, at least.

"Perhaps, when the time is right, you can try again. You're not the first Jedi to make a mistake, and I doubt you'll be the last."

He offers you a sad smile, his eyes full of understanding, and the sight makes your heart ache. Despite the melancholy that's settled over you, you can't help but try to return the gesture, the corners of your lips quirking upwards.

"Thanks, Obi-Wan."

"What can I say, I'm full of good advice," he quips. You can feel the satisfaction pouring from him when you scoff and shake your head, the familiar banter helping ease the pain.

"How's Anakin?" you ask, eager to change the subject.

You hadn't seen much of Anakin since before he left for Christophsis months ago, but you were aware that his duties had kept him busy. He had a Padawan now, and he was in charge of an entire army, and that was more than enough to keep him occupied.

Still, you couldn't help but worry, and the fact that you'd been so preoccupied with your own problems to check in with him wasn't sitting well.

“You can ask him yourself,” Obi-Wan says with a shake of his head.

He pushes himself off the shelf and takes a step forward, his boots thudding softly against the stone floor. You accept his offered hand despite your confusion, and he pulls you up, the motion smooth and practiced.

It takes a moment, but realization dawns. “What do you—really?”

He smiles, the expression warm, and his hand squeezes yours.

"Yes, really," he replies. "It's time, my friend."

Your arms are wrapping around his waist before he can finish speaking, holding him tight, your head pressed against his chest. He returns the embrace with a huff of laughter, and the warmth seeps into your bones.

"Thank you," you mumble, your voice muffled by his robes.

“Only you would be this excited to go back to work," he teases, the words accompanied by a gentle pat on the back.

You pull away and shrug sheepishly. "What can I say, it's been a slow few weeks. I could use a bit of action."

"Well, I'm sure Anakin will be more than happy to provide you with plenty of excitement," Obi-Wan remarks with mock-exasperation.

You roll your eyes, but the gesture is fond, and you can't help the grin that spreads across your face. "I'm sure he will."

You turn around to shut down the terminal, the holographic image flickering and then disappearing. You glance back and see that Obi-Wan has followed, his arms crossed behind his back, his expression one of polite interest. The holocron ejects, the object hovering in the air for a brief moment before coming to a rest in the palm of your hand.

He arches a brow at the sight, his gaze flickering from the holocron to your face.

"You've been continuing your research, I see."

"I've been doing what I can," you respond, trying to keep your voice equally calm, even though the subject still stings, a reminder of your failures.

He pauses, and his brows furrow, and you can tell he's thinking carefully about his next words.

"I know how hard it is, losing a master, but dwelling on the past won't help you," he says, his tone gentle, but the words still carry a hint of caution. "I know you want answers, and you deserve them, but obsessing over a single clue isn't healthy."

"I know," you sigh. You look down, the holocron resting heavily in your hand. "But I can't stop. There's something here, I can feel it."

There’s a long silence as his eyes rove over your face, his expression thoughtful. You know he's looking for any trace of deception, and the scrutiny is unnerving. You meet his gaze, doing your best to project calmness and serenity through your bond, and after a few seconds, his shoulders relax, and the tension eases.

"I understand," he says. "I believe I would feel the same, if the situation was reversed. But, please, remember what I said."

"I will, I promise," you say, and you mean it.

He gives a small smile, the warmth returning to his gaze.

"Good. Now come, let's not keep Anakin waiting. Force knows he’s looking for an opportunity to give us a lecture on personal responsibility for a change."

The idea of Anakin lecturing anyone is absurd, especially two Jedi Masters, and you can't help the amused grin that spreads across your face. The humor is a welcome distraction, and the thought of seeing him again, of working alongside him again, is a pleasant one.

"Alright, alright," you acquiesce, and you follow his lead, your strides swift. Obi-Wan waits as you place the holocron safely back in its vault, and the doors close, the seal hissing and locking.

The walk out of the Archives is, as expected, quiet. Madam Jocasta is not around, but the guards are ever-present, their eyes following you as you leave. Obi-Wan offers them a curt nod, and they return the gesture.

The Temple halls are busy, and the hum of conversation, of the day-to-day life, fills the air. Jedi pass by, walking with intent, their robes billowing behind them. You loop your arm through Obi-Wan's, and the two of you meld seamlessly into the flow of the crowd.

"So, how long have you been waiting to spring me?" you ask, the question half-teasing, half-serious.

"A while," he admits, and there's a trace of sadness in his tone. "I'd hoped to come sooner, but the Council has kept me occupied."

You nod grimly at his frustrated sigh. You'd known the Council had been keeping him busy, the endless missions and meetings taking a toll, but you'd never expected him to have time for you, and you certainly hadn't expected him to come rescue you.

"It wasn't so bad," you say, trying to lift the mood. "It was nice, getting some time to reflect, to clear my head."

Obi-Wan glances down at you, and the skepticism is evident on his face. "You, clear your head? That'll be the day."

You scowl, but the expression is playful, and you bump his shoulder with your own. "Hey, I can be reflective, you know. I'm not always jumping headfirst into things, ready to start a fight."

"Of course, my mistake," he replies dryly, and the smile is back. "I must have been thinking of another reckless Jedi, clearly."

You scoff indignantly, but the grin on your lips is unabashed. You'd missed this, missed him, the banter and the closeness, and the feeling that you were doing some good. The past few weeks had been a struggle, and you'd often found yourself lost in thought, replaying the events over and over, questioning your decisions, your motives, your very identity. But, with him by your side, the doubts seemed a bit smaller, a bit easier to bear.

"I missed you, too," he says, and the words are accompanied by a warm chuckle.

You shake your head, half-exasperated, half-amused. You'd forgotten, again, about the bond between you. It was a comfort, having him in your mind, and you often found yourself doing it subconsciously. But, at times, it could be inconvenient, and the intimacy, the knowledge that he could feel everything you did if you weren’t careful, was a little unnerving.

"Yeah, well," you trail off, a blush rising to your cheeks. "Don't let it go to your head. I'd happily hang out with Master Mundi if it meant getting out of the Archives."

"I'll be sure to relay that to the Council, then," he teases.

"No!" you exclaim. The protest is a touch too loud, and several heads turn towards you. You smile apologetically, and they quickly lose interest, returning to their business.

"That's what I thought," he murmurs, the words smug, and his gaze flicks over to yours, mischief dancing in his eyes.

"Oh, shut up.”

He laughs, and you bump his shoulder again, unable to contain your own grin.

"Speaking of which," Obi-Wan continues, and his voice is softer, the laughter fading. "I have news from the Council."

“Oh?”

"Well, in addition to the assignment, they also have an idea," he explains, and his tone is casual, but you can sense the excitement, the pride, through the bond. He doesn't wait for you to ask, and the words rush out, eager to share. "We've decided that your return to duty should be spent under the tutelage of an older and wiser Jedi."

Your brows furrow, and your gaze flickers to his face. He's looking ahead, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Master Windu? I mean, he is older and wiser."

"No, not Master Windu."

The realization dawns on you, and your heart leaps.

"No, don't tell me."

Hearing this, Obi-Wan's restraint snaps, and his smile bursts forth, bright and dazzling.

"Me, yes," he confirms.

"So, we're working together again," you say slowly, watching him carefully for any sign of deception. When you find none, your grin matches his own.

"Yes, we are,” he says. “If that's what you want, of course."

You stop walking, and Obi-Wan follows, the both of you standing still amidst the throng of passing Jedi. You take a moment, staring up at his face, trying to convey your sincerity through the bond.

"There's nothing I want more, Obi-Wan. You know that."

His gaze softens, and the warmth floods through the bond, enveloping you.

"I do," he says, his voice full of affection. "But I had to ask. Things are different now, and I don't want you to feel pressured."

The thought is absurd, and you can't help the short laugh that escapes you. You've felt pressure your entire life, from the time you were a child, and the Council, the Order, the Republic, were weighing on your shoulders. Obi-Wan was, had always been, your choice.

"No, never," you say emphatically. Your expression falters for a moment, and you search his eyes. "I just...that's not what the Council wanted, is it?"

"No," he admits, deflating slightly, and the corners of his lips turn downwards. "But they've agreed, for the time being."

You shake your head and sigh, looking away. "They've given up, is what you mean."

The truth is, you're not surprised. You knew the Council was losing patience, the constant arguments, the questions, the defiance, a sore spot. You'd thought that you'd proven yourself, but your actions on Hisseen had only served to undermine that. They saw you as a liability, and you were quickly becoming a nuisance, an annoyance. And the worst part was, you couldn't even blame them.

"Perhaps," Obi-Wan concedes. His hand finds your arm, his touch gently coaxing you to look back up. "Perhaps not. But, that's not important. What matters is that you have another chance, and we have another opportunity to fight together, to make a difference."

His words are earnest, and you can't help but smile, if only a little. You know he's trying to reassure you, and it's working. It always works. Obi-Wan's faith in you, his willingness to risk himself and his reputation to ensure that you were given a chance, was a powerful thing. You couldn't let him, couldn't let yourself, down.

"Yes, of course," you agree, and you do your best to infuse your voice with determination, with resolve. "Let's do it. Together."

His answering grin, the relief and happiness, is infectious, and you find yourself grinning back, your spirits lifted.

"Yes, together," he says. He squeezes your arm before letting go, and the two of you continue through the halls, your strides in sync, the bond humming between you. It quiets the further you walk, the murmur of conversation a distant hum, until the only sound is the echo of your footsteps.

"So where are they sending us?" you ask, breaking the silence.

“Felucia," Obi-Wan answers, and your eyebrows shoot up.

"Felucia?"

"That's what I said," he confirms, a hint of amusement in his tone.

"Why?"

"That's what I said, too," he admits, and you roll your eyes. "Apparently, the Confederacy has established a foothold on the planet, and they're looking to expand."

"They're sending us to a jungle world infested with wild creatures and Separatists, and they think this will help me calm down?" you ask incredulously.

"Oh, it's not that bad," Obi-Wan reassures you. "I've heard the weather is quite lovely this time of year."

You roll your eyes. "Yeah, right. I'm sure the sunsets are spectacular."

He chuckles, and the sound makes you smile, despite your trepidation.

"That's the spirit," he says with a fond shake of his head. "I can always count on you to look on the bright side."

"It's going to be a mess, isn't it?"

"Probably, but it's not like we haven't faced worse." He gives your arm a squeeze. "Now, let's get you back to your quarters. I'm sure you'll want to pack before we leave."

You sigh, but it's good-natured, and the dread, the nerves, are beginning to ebb. You can't help but think that maybe this is the opportunity you'd been looking for, a chance to prove yourself, and you aren't about to take it for granted.

Obi-Wan waits while you quickly throw a few essentials into a bag, and the two of you make your way to the landing platform. He explains on the way that there was a shuttle waiting to take you up to The Negotiator in orbit, and that from there, you would jump to hyperspace and make the journey to Felucia.

When you arrive at the platform, you see two ships waiting, and several more taking off into the sky. The air is filled with the noise of engines, and the smell of fuel, and the bustle of activity. It's a stark contrast to the silence of the Temple and the calmness of the evening. You can’t help but feel relieved, the sounds and the smells and the excitement a welcome change.

“Obi-Wan! Finally, we were starting to worry," Anakin shouts, and his voice echoes across the landing platform. His remaining troops are filing onto the transport ship, and he stands near the entrance, his arms crossed over his chest, his expression a mix of excitement and impatience. Anakin is never early, and you're sure he's been waiting here, his foot tapping, his gaze scanning the horizon for the two of you.

You can't hide the smile that spreads across your face at the sight of him, and you wave, a rush of affection coursing through you. You’re practically dragging Obi-Wan across the platform, eager to join him.

Anakin approaches, his strides long and purposeful, and the grin on his face is infectious as he meets you halfway. His eyes land on you, and they widen in surprise, the delight clear in his expression.

"Hey there, stranger," he greets you with a quick hug and a pat on the back. "You're looking better than the last time I saw you."

"I'm feeling better," you reply, and you mean it. "And thanks, I guess?"

He releases you, and his hand finds your shoulder. He looks you up and down, his gaze assessing, and you shift uncomfortably.

"No, really," he insists. "Last time, you looked... well, you know, like hell."

You sigh, and you can't help but roll your eyes. Trust Anakin to be blunt. "Yes, I know. But, it was a rough few days."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." His expression softens, and his hand falls to his side. "But, hey, glad to have you back."

You smile. "Glad to be back."

Anakin turns to Obi-Wan, and his expression shifts, the grin morphing into something smug, almost taunting. "It's about time you showed up, Master. We've got a schedule to keep, you know."

Obi-Wan sighs, and his shoulders slump. You can't help but snort, and Anakin smirks at the sight, pleased that his joke is working.

"So sorry to keep you waiting," Obi-Wan replies, the sarcasm dripping from his voice. “I had to spring a certain someone from a month of incarceration in the Archives."

You scoff indignantly and cross your arms. "Incarceration is a strong word, Master Kenobi."

"It's accurate," he counters, the words pointed.

Anakin's smirk fades, and he looks between the two of you, his brows furrowing. "Wait, hold on, you've been stuck in the Archives this whole time? I thought you'd gotten assigned to some boring diplomatic mission or something."

You shrug, doing your best to seem nonchalant. "No, just a few weeks of sorting and cleaning and doing data entry."

"You're kidding."

"Not in the least," Obi-Wan confirms. "The Council was worried she was becoming a bit too impulsive."

"And reckless, and brash," you add.

"So they punished her, basically?" Anakin asks.

"Something like that."

"That's ridiculous," he scoffs. "What are you, a Padawan? They can't treat you like this."

"Apparently, they can," you sigh. "And, to be fair, they were right. I did almost get an innocent person killed."

"That's not the point, and you know it," he insists, his voice rising. "You did what you had to do, and the Council should be grateful for your service. They can't just lock you up for doing your job."

His words, his righteous indignation, warms your heart. It's comforting, knowing that you have someone who believes in you, and it helps to ease the lingering guilt.

"Well, it doesn't matter now," Obi-Wan interjects, and he gives you a meaningful glance, his gaze sharp. "She's back where she belongs, and we're all better for it."

You give him a small smile, and he returns it, the warmth filling the bond. You know what he's thinking, that he's worried about Anakin getting carried away, that he doesn't want the young Knight to take his frustrations out on the Council. That he’s close to following a similar path to you, and it’s one neither of you want him to tread. You've had the same concerns, and the fact that he shares them is comforting.

Anakin looks between the two of you, and he's clearly frustrated, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "Yeah, well, it's not right. You should've been out in the field, helping us, not wasting away in the Archives."

Your hand finds his, and you squeeze, the touch gentle but firm. He glances at you, his brows still furrowed, and you shake your head.

"It's okay," you say, and the words are soft, meant only for him. "I'm just glad to be back now."

His scowl lessens, and he rolls his eyes. "Yeah, me too," he grumbles.

You squeeze his hand again, and you feel his tension easing, the anger giving way to relief.

Anakin glances at Obi-Wan and then back at you. He takes a breath, and the rest of his anger slips away. "Fine, fine. You're right. We've got a lot to catch up on, and it's not worth getting worked up over."

You can't help the laugh that escapes you, and you give his hand one last squeeze before letting go. Your eyes slide to Obi-Wan and back, and you smirk. "We most certainly do."

Anakin catches on quickly, and his eyes narrow, a mischievous glint appearing in them. Obi-Wan's gaze bounces between the two of you, his brows furrowing. He knows, from experience, that this means nothing good, and he crosses his arms, a silent warning.

"Now, now, no plotting against me," he warns. "We're supposed to be a united front."

"Of course," Anakin agrees, and his smile is anything but sincere. "Whatever you say, Master."

You try, and fail, to stifle the snort that escapes, and the sound draws a scowl from Obi-Wan.

"You two are terrible," he huffs. "Absolutely terrible."

The two of you exchange a conspiratorial glance, and the mirth bubbles up inside you, the excitement making your heart sing. You’re about to tease Obi-Wan further, but Anakin’s gaze shifts over your shoulder, and he raises his hand to cup his mouth

“Ahsoka! You’re late.”

You turn and see the young Togruta walking briskly the platform, a backpack slung over her shoulder. You haven't seen her since before the war broke out, and there's a maturity in her eyes that wasn't there before. At her heels is a clone trooper, his white armor decorated with a blue pauldron and kama, and his helmet tucked under his arm.

You can’t help but stare at the clone, your gaze moving up and down his body. There's something about him, a presence, that is achingly familiar. The hair on the back of your neck stands on end, and the sense of deja vu is so intense that you can't help but step forward toward him.

"I'm not late," Ahsoka says, her tone defensive as she jogs the last few meters. Her eyes widen when she sees you, and her lips form a small 'o' of surprise. "Master Anathorn, I didn't realize you'd be coming."

"The Council thought I needed some fresh air," you say, smiling. It falters when your eyes drift back to the clone trooper, the sense of unease growing. His face is blank, unreadable, but there's something in his eyes, a flash of recognition, of emotion.

He has a demeanor that feels oddly familiar, his signature in the Force one that's both warm and welcoming, yet strong and solid. All clones had a unique presence, their Force signatures as varied as their personalities, but there was something about this one that was different. Something that spoke to you, that tugged at the strings of your memory.

Your eyes narrow, the wheels turning in your head. Could it be…

No, it couldn't.

He was just a clone, a regular trooper, and there was no way this one could be the one. The chances were astronomical.

And yet...

“I almost forgot.” Anakin says your name and gestures to the clone. “This is Captain—“

The name is out of your mouth before you even register saying it, slipping past your lips with a certainty, an assurance, that comes from somewhere deep inside you.

“Rex.”

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