#I AM OKAY ABOUT HIM. I AM DEFINITELY NORMAL ABOUT ADAM

[silverflqmes]

Hai!! I was wondering if you’d be able/want to/feel comfortable with writing a nsfw cloud x reader? Maybe something sweet, like their first time together as a couple. If you don’t like the request is fine ! I hope you’re having a great day :]

໒⦂ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓.

notes. hi anon, i have not written nsfw in some centuries so i hope this is decent cuz i definitely lost my touch😭 i wrote the reader as female since that’s what i’m used to writing, given i’m.. well, a girl😵‍💫 hope that’s okay with you</3

genre. nsfw + fluff

tw. virginity loss, hand job, fingering, riding, slight uh pillow princess cloud in the beginning..

disclaimer. uncomfortable with smut or younger than 17? please dni.

cloud strife x fem!reader

it was quarter to midnight and the blond still could not find it in himself to sleep. not that he ever could, anyway.. but since he’d gotten with you, sleep came just a little more easily and the nightmares became less frequent.

tonight, however, was a slightly different case.

“cloud..” you mumbled sleepily, lifting your head from his back when you felt him shift against your hold. “still can’t sleep?”

remembering your presence, he blinked in the darkness, feeling your hand on his stomach, which he gently took ahold of, kissing the back of it. “sorry, having a hard time..” he paused to think of a vague excuse, if only to mask his embarrassment. “getting um, comfortable, right now.. nothing to do with you, though.”

his cheeks were twinged with pink under the sliver of moonlight that spilled into your shared bedroom through the curtains, but thankfully hidden from your stare.

while he had said it was strange for him to be the ‘little spoon’, part of him was grateful that he was now..

a pout came to your lips as you urged him to turn over, but he wouldn’t budge — adamant on not being seen. something was.. off. really off.

“cloud, come on- you can tell me. you know i won’t judge you for whatever reason that’s preventing you from sleeping.” you assured, smoothing the hand he wasn’t holding over his arm, comfortingly.

he shuddered unknowingly at the touch, hyper aware of your proximity to him — the way your body had pressed against his back and your light breathing on his neck now.

the fabric confinements constricted in protest, and he willed himself not to make any noises that gave away his sensitivity. why did it have to hit him tonight so suddenly? was it that lack of battling, with his arch nemesis no longer threatening the planet?

“i-it’s nothing.” he shook his head, attempting to steady his tone, but his facade was faltering. “just.. go back to bed, i should fall asleep in a moment or — a-aah.. aaah.”

panic crossed your features at the noise he made as you let go him within seconds, finally catching a glimpse of his expression to see he was not wincing out of agony.. but of pleasure?

curiously, your eyes slid down to his lower half to find him squeezing his legs together for dear life. oh.

“c-cloud, are you — ”

“yes-! fuck, i am..” he breathed out, turning his head to hide his shame in the pillow, but you turned him back over without harming him, pursing your lips together.

“y’know,” you began, heaving a sigh. “you could’ve just said you were feeling things- it’s a normal thing.. instead you had me thinking you had a bad dream again or something.” you shook your head, relief washing over you despite your scolding.

the former mercenary kept his gaze elsewhere, grumbling quietly under his breath. “it’s not so easy to say ‘i’m horny, do something about it’. feels awkward, okay.”

you found yourself rolling your eyes before you pushed yourself up, lavender colored sheets sliding off your body as you moved to situate yourself between his legs. “i suppose it’s blunt, but i don’t mind it. we’ve been together for over a year now.. and have known each other for several more.” you reminded him tenderly, leaning down to peck his lips softly. “if you needed ever needed to.. indulge.. i’m more than willing to do so, at your consent.”

cloud found himself shuddering at the words that spilled over his rosy appendages, rouge splashing across his his nose and cheeks at your boldness. while you had been confident, in contrast to how he behaved and presented himself.. this was a side he had yet to see from you — and goodness.

“but- it’s late..” he muttered back, aware that you had to wake up early to help tifa out at seventh heaven by daybreak. it was tedious work and he knew you weren’t one for getting up at first light.. cutting into your sleep felt criminal.

however your expression seemed unchanging, having made up your mind already, from what he concluded.

“and?” you pressed, hovering over his face. “i won’t be that long, and besides — we live in a society where coffee exists.” you reminded him, clicking your tongue before placing a hand on his hip. “i’ll be fine.”

his back nearly arched at the light caress, but he forced himself to be completely still, eyeing you with furrowed brows for a moment longer before exhaling. “are you.. sure about this?”

a quiet laugh tumbled past your lips as a knowing smile crossed your lips. “would i be offering to help if i wasn’t?”

it was a fair point, and although cloud wanted to continue denying himself for the sake of you getting rest.. he found himself succumbing to his intrusive thoughts the more he stared up at you.

“i guess not.” the blond concurred after a brief silence on his end, averting his mako tinted hues. “you’re not gonna let this go, are you?”

the eager shake of your head was enough of an answer as he closed his eyes in defeat. “okay, fine.. just take it easy on me, it’s..” he paused, pursing his lips together.

“your first time?” you finished in a hum before letting out a giggle when he didn’t answer. “it’s okay, i thought so.” you assured him, hooking your thumbs onto the waistband of his boxer briefs. “if it gets too much, you can tell me.”

a nod of confirmation was all that was needed for you to fully tug down his undergarments, a hiss leaving your lover’s lips as the frigid air caressed his most intimate part.

gingerly, you wrapped your hands around his shaft, never missing the gasp he failed to suppress as you pumped him slowly.

cloud’s hand flew to cover his mouth, eyes squeezing tighter as wave of ecstasy washed over him — gradually erasing the previous discomfort he’d felt.

in all his years, other than that massage back at the wall market of sector six, he’d never been touched in a way like this. a manner that sent bolts and sparks of pleasure down his spine, electrifying him in every possible way.

but the spiky haired male was too shy to ask for help on the rare occasions that he’d found himself pent up. all that fighting quelled any need for sexual release.. but now, with little to no battles to partake in these days, those late nights he’d spend away on deliveries were often occupied by his hand.

“f-fuck, y/n..!” he breathed out, feeling his legs tremble from the pleasure you had created.

you continued at an even pace, sliding your attention back over to boyfriend’s features when he called your name out. “does it feel good?” the answer was abundantly clear, though you felt the need to ask, anyway. couldn’t hurt to be safe.

he nodded his head rapidly, flushed skin glimmering under the glow of the moon. “ngh- f-faster, a-aaah~ please..” he whispered back pleadingly, tears gathering at the corners of his lashes.

it was truly a sight to behold — a part of cloud no one else had witnessed but you. and you had been the reason for his expressions, the noises he made — his reactions.. all of it was by your work.

wanting him to reach his high, to see the stars you had hoped he would see on your first time together, you quickened your ministrations, rolling your thumb over his tip. it was a little adventurous, but his moans was all the encouragement you needed to continue.

in an attempt to address your own aching heat, you slipped two fingers into the thin fabric of your panties, dragging them over your aching bundle of nerves before sliding them into your entrance.

a prolonged sigh escaped your lips, feeling your walls loosen around your fingers with each thrust while your partner became undone at the mixture of his own euphoria and the mere sight of you.

it made him strangely jealous, as he wanted to be the one to please you.

with a shaky breath, he reached down into the drawer of his nightstand for a familiar packet, carefully tearing it open when your breathing transitioned into panting.

you hadn’t even noticed that the self proclaimed ex-SOLDIER removed your hand from his cock, nor had you caught sight of him sliding a condom over himself.

no, it wasn’t until he grabbed your hips and brought you forward that you’d removed your hands at the brush of his tip against your clit, grasping ahold of his shoulders as a whine left your lips. “h-haahh~ cloud..” you drawled out in a needy beg, arching your back just slightly.

and that was all he needed to take you at last, sheathing himself slowly into your warmth.

he brought you impossibly closer to him at the squeeze of you against him, a staggered pant spilling past his appendages as he buried his face into your neck. “s-shit — was that too much?”

“n-no!” you refuted a little louder than planned, shaking your head. “j-just, one second.. a-and you can move..”

despite his worry, he took your word for it, exhaling lowly as he felt you shift.

with another sigh, you rested your chin on his shoulder, allowing yourself to nod. “o-okay, i’m good..”

cloud took it as a sign to continue as he pulled out slowly before plunging back into your core at an equal pace, steadily falling into an appropriate rhythm.

the stars you had thought of before in regards to cloud’s pleasure entered your vision at last when he nailed that special spot of yours.

“a-aahh~! cloud-!”

your whines and cries of his name was fueling enough to continue hitting that same spot, feeling you crash down on him harder.

“almost.. t-there..” he reassured you quietly, and perhaps even himself as well.

the knot coiling in your stomach was on the verge of snapping, one thrust away from unraveling completely.

in light of that, cloud captured your lips in a climatic kiss, swallowing your cries of elation when you met your end at last.

covered in a sheen of sweat, the blond gave you two more thrusts before removing himself from your dipping heat, allowing you to collapse against him.

his breath was far from even, yours no better than his own as he gazed up at the ceiling, eyes half lidded. “we should.. probably clean up..”

a tired laugh escaped you, having put together several other phrases he could have started with.. but then you reminded yourself that this was cloud strife — your very awkward, but adorable boyfriend.

“don’t w-worry,” you assured, sucking in another dose of air. “we will..”

notes. good grief i haven’t written smut in ages, i hope this was decent.. i feel like i’ve lost my touch😔 but wishing you a great day too, anon! along with anyone else reading this filth🫡

↳ return to main masterlist . request rules . send an ask

[hazbinwhoree]

BRO?$!&?& OAAA I SAW YOU WERE OPEN TO ADAM REQUESTS AND OHHH. MY SNAP.

i am in desperate need. of adam smut.

NOW, WOULD IT BE OKAY FOR ME TO ASK FOR ADAM SMUT WITH A SUBMISSIVE FEMALE SINNER READER WHO IS:

usually shy nervous as fuck but absolutely watches him when he thinks he isn't looking

likes to compliment him in general (at the most random times too, despite the dickmaster being the FUCKING WORST, and she would get that but he IS kinda fine so)

touch-starved, incredibly easy to fluster and tease (bro has a thing for his voices and looks too, one word or look and she'd be on her knees)

pretty insecure in general (and is a sucker for being praised in bed)

I'd also specifically like to hear what he would say to the reader ESPECIALLY THAT IDFK AAA GO CRAZY

Adam’s Sinner

Part 1/3 Part 2

A/N: I was so fucking happy to get a request you don’t even understand. Anyway here it is, I hope I did it justice and you enjoy it!

Warnings: Smut

Adam had been aware of (Name) for about ten years. They met during the extermination, Adam cornering her in an alley. Something compelled him to spare her, and yes he realized what a hypocrite that made him. Poor Vaggie. “Fucking run, bitch.” She bolted. Adam looked around to make sure no one had seen.

The next year, Adam noticed (Name) watching him, hiding behind corners and in shadows. She did this during every extermination for about five years before Adam decided during one extermination to confront her.

(Name) peered around the corner of the dark alley she was hiding in, watching Adam kill a fellow sinner. It should disgust her, but ever since he spared her life she had a strange sort of attraction towards him. Adam looked up and (Name) ducked back behind the wall. When she peered out again, Adam was nowhere to be seen.

“What’s up, sugar tits?”

(Name) yelped, jumping when Adam appeared behind her. He put his hands on the wall on either side of her head, effectively caging her in. (Name) could feel her face heating up. Adam seemed to find it amusing. “Flustered?” (Name) swallowed.

“You know I’ve seen you watching me for the last few exterminations. What’s up with that, hm?”

(Name) had no answer.

“What’s your name?” Adam asked.

“(Name),” she answered quietly. Adam had to bend down to hear her. His proximity made her blush worse, and he snickered. “I think I figured out why. No surprise really, of course you’d want a piece of the first man in existence. I’m the fucking Dickmaster.”

He let her go shortly after their exchange, but confronted her again the next year. As years passed, Adam would spare thirty minutes every extermination to talk to (Name). He found himself becoming fond of the sinner. Her story of how she ended up in hell was interesting, and it definitely helped that she stroked his ego with compliments.

Adam found himself looking forward to seeing (Name) even more than he looked forward to the exterminations. He was grateful Lute hadn’t caught on.

A few years later, and Adam noticed (Name) wasn’t following him as she normally would. So he sought her out. She’d told him a few years ago where she lived, so that was the first place Adam checked. Sure enough, he found her there.

“Sup.”

(Name) jumped. “Adam!”

“What the fuck, babe, not interested in seeing me this year?” Adam placed his hand over his heart in mock hurt, although while he’d never admit it, it actually did hurt him.

“We can’t see each other anymore,” (Name) announced, looking away.

“Bitch why?”

“Because one of these days we’re going to get caught. I know what happened to Vaggie. What would happen if the exterminators found out their leader was socializing with a sinner?”

“You’re not like the other sinners,” Adam argued. “I’d show them that.”

“How?”

Adam was quiet.

“Exactly. And to be honest, I can’t take the emotional torture anymore.”

“The fuck are you on about, ‘emotional torture’? Come on babe-”

“Adam no. I can’t let myself get any closer to you. We only see each other once a year and I got attached, and dealing with only seeing you once a year has gotten too painful.”

Adam was rather taken aback by the confession. He felt the same way but had been gaslighting himself to believe he didn’t. For once in his life, Adam couldn’t find anything to say. He decided the best course was the course of action rather than talking.

He leaned down and abruptly pressed his lips to (Name)’s. Her eyes widened and her body stiffened. When Adam received no response on her end, he pulled back, worried he’d fucked up. She stared up at him with this look on her face that Adam couldn’t place. He didn’t know if it was positive or negative.

“Again,” she finally spoke in a small voice. A smirk stretched across Adam’s face, and he bent down once more to press his lips to hers. She kissed him back this time, almost desperately, and Adam’s arms wrapped around her waist. She shuddered and he pulled back.

“Are you okay?” No teasing or cursing.

“Yeah I just… I haven’t had anyone touch me like this in a long time.”

Adam couldn’t say the same, but this was the first time in a long time emotions had been involved. He kissed her again and snuck his tongue into her mouth as she kissed back. “I want to fuck you,” Adam mumbled against her lips. “Okay.”

Adam pushed her down on her bed, crawling on top of her. He reconnected their lips and slid a hand under her shirt. “Damn,” he commented when his wandering hand reached her chest. “Nice rack.” (Name) rolled her eyes. Adam began kissing down her neck, sucking and biting to leave his mark. (Name) moaned and grabbed onto his horns.

Adam pulled back to shed his robe, and (Name) yanked her shirt over her head. Now that Adam actually had eyes on her chest, he stared for a moment. “So pretty~” he cooed. (Name) blushed and swallowed.

“Oh~” Adam realized. “You like that, don’t you? You like being praised?”

(Name) looked away. Adam grabbed her chin, forcing her to look at him. “Don’t be embarrassed, babe, it’s cute.” He returned to her neck, kissing down and down, her shoulder, her collarbone. Then he slid down slightly to press his face between her breasts. He laid more kisses on her chest before taking a nipple into his mouth.

Sensitive, (Name) arched her back and whimpered. “I like that noise,” Adam said, moving to the other breast. “Make it again.” He sucked and she whimpered.

Adam was aware he had a short window of time to make this work, so he pulled back and pulled down (Name)’s pants and panties in one swift motion. (Name) got embarrassed being so exposed, so Adam quickly shed his own pants and boxers to level the playing field.

He noticed (Name) staring at his dick and smirked. He took it in his hand, pumping it a few times for show. “You like what you see, baby? Of course you do. Can’t beat the original dick.”

He crawled on top of her again, nudging her thighs apart with his knee to settle between them. He reconnected their lips while his hand traveled down to the place she wanted it the most. “So wet for me, good girl,” Adam teased. Flustered, (Name) shut him up with another kiss.

They made out while Adam experimentally slid one slender finger into her. Met with no resistance, he added another one, and began languidly pumping them in and out. (Name) was shaking. Eager to hurry this along, Adam added another finger. Three stretched her out and she moaned against his lips at the sensation. It made Adam’s dick throb.

He fingered her, with his thumb circling her clit, until he decided she was well enough prepared, pulling his hand away. (Name) whined at the loss but was quickly shut up by Adam grabbing her legs and throwing them over his shoulders. She gasped. Adam lined himself up with her entrance and sunk in slowly, giving her time to adjust. She squirmed, his girth proving to be a little painful to take.

Adam reached between them to give her clit attention, and that loosened her up right away. He bottomed out with a groan, closing his eyes. “Fuck, babe, you’re so tight.” Adam kissed her again, basically bending her in half as he began thrusting. He swallowed her whimpers and moans while his pace picked up in speed and intensity.

He had tried to be slow and gentle, he really had.

Adam set a brutal pace, and (Name) clawed at his back as he pounded into her. “Fuck, yeah, you’re so good for me, tits. Such a good girl, all mine,” Adam talked as he fucked her, and his every word brought (Name) closer to the edge. “You feel so fucking good.”

Adam’s thrusts were getting sloppy as he neared his own climax. “Cum for me,” he murmured. “Fucking cum for me, baby.” (Name) did, her back arching off the bed, her head thrown back and mouth open in slack pleasure. Her tightening around him pushed Adam over the edge, and he buried himself as deep as he could, cumming inside her.

They both panted, holding onto one another as they came down from their highs. Adam pulled out and rolled off of (Name), collapsing onto the bed next to her. He pulled her into his chest and covered her with one of his wings, nuzzling his face into her hair.

“I’ll find a way to see each other more,” he muttered. “I’ll figure something out.” (Name) buried her face in his chest. “Promise?” Her voice was muffled.

“Promise.”

[alastorsbookie10228]

Heyyy! Can you do a reader comforting the hazbin hotel men after a nightmare? Thank you! 🙃

Come here, let me hold you

Hazbin Hotel men (Alastor, Angel Dust, Adam, Lucifer)

Warning: established relationships (idk if that's a warning lol)

i'm gonna do Husk and Vox on a different post. i couldn't think at the moment, but they're on the way i promise!!!

Alastor never usually slept; only on rare occasions. but when you insisted on him laying next to you, how could he resist? he would normally read while you slept if he didn't have the intentions of hitting the hay. but tonight was one of the few nights that he slept. definitely one that you'll replay in the back of your mind for the rest of your afterlife.

you woke in the middle of the night, feeling an eerie presence behind you. when you turned and sat up, you were met with a truly horrifying sight.

Alastor was in his full demonic form, lanky limbs stretched out on the mattress and demonic symbols floating around him. his body twitched and his antlers grew in size as you watched, horror etched onto your features. tears pooled at your waterline as you watched, afraid to even move.

timidly, you stuck out a hand and gently touched Alastor's arm.

big mistake.

his eyes shot open and he looked at you with a glare so menacing you thought you were about to double die. he roughly grabbed your wrist, his claws digging slightly, making blood seep out. you look at your wrist, a shriek slipped past your lips without you realizing as you looked back at Alastor with fear in your eyes.

he must have known that you were scared because his grin faltered slightly.

"Al," you whisper, "i didn't mean...you were having a nightmare. i didn't know what to do."

Alastor's eyes softened and his antlers shrunk slightly, along with his limbs. the symbols disappeared and he slowly sat up, still maintaining eye contact with you. he slowly released your wrist and looked down at it.

"my dear..." Alastor said softly, no static filtering his voice. "i am...terribly sorry. i understand your true intentions, and i send my gratitude, but it's best to let me go through what i'm going through if you'd like to keep your life."

it wasn't intended to be threatening, you knew that. but you felt scared. scared that he might hurt you.

"i'm sorry...i just wanted to make sure you were okay"

he nods, his usual smile falling to a grin as he leans in and kisses your lips. "i truly apologize for making you fearful, dearest. let us rest."

he guided you to lay back down onto the soft mattress dressed in red satin sheets, his arm wrapping around you and holding you close.

"i love you, dearest"

Angel liked to sleep. a lot. he and Fat Nuggets would lay in bed all day. and it was even better if you were there, too.

you were currently laying next to Angel, fast asleep. you were a light sleeper, even Fat Nuggets shifting woke you up. you felt shifting beside you and stirred awake, sitting up and rubbing your eyes. you look around the dark room, letting your eyes adjust to the darkness, then look over at Angel. he was sweating, and his eyebrows were arched in fear. you leaned over, elbow digging into the pillow beside Angel’s head as you placed your hands on his cheeks, gently stroking them with your thumbs.

“Angel, baby. come on, wake up.” you say softly. Angel starts to stir slightly and opens his eyes. they widen slightly when they land on you.

“oh my god, are you okay?!” Angel says, swiftly pulling you into a tight hug. he starts to cry softly into your shoulder, and all you can do is hold him.

“Angel, what happened?” you ask him. he pulls you closer, his body racking with sobs. you run your fingers through his hair and kiss his temple, your other hand rubbing his back.

“you died, baby. you died and i couldn’t do nothin’. i was so scared.” Angel said into your shoulder. you hold him tighter, worry etched onto your features.

“baby, i’m not going no where. i promise.” you say into his hair and kiss all over his face. “i love you too much to leave you, darling.”

Angel looked up at you and wiped his eyes with his upper set of arms, his bottom set hugging your waist. he smiles softly.

“promise, toots?”

“i promise, baby”

you lean down and kiss him softly. he smiles into the kiss and holds your face, but the kiss was short lived due to a needy pig squeezing himself between you two. you and Angel both laugh softly and snuggle Fat Nuggets. as you drift off, the last thing you hear is Angel’s soft voice.

“i love you, baby”

Adam is a pretty heavy sleeper. he sleeps through anything, especially when he's having a nightmare.

it was roughly 1am, and you were still up. you were tossing and turning, still unable to fall asleep. your head snapped to Adam when you heard a small whimper. his face was contorted in fear and his limbs were stretched around his side of the bed.

"Adam, honey. wake up" you whisper, leaning over to him.

no luck, obviously. he could sleep through a hurricaine.

"Adam, come on. wake up" you shake his shoulder, and his eyes snap open. his body shoots up as he gasps, his face buried in his hands.

"Adam...what's going on? you've been having nightmares all week, baby."

Adam looks at you with eyes that tug at your heart. pupils large and tears threatening to spill out of his beautiful golden eyes.

"oh, baby." You guide him to lay back down and cuddle into his side, your arm subconsciously stretching over his stomach, the part of his body that he's most insecure of, and caress his wing.

"i'm not leaving you, Adam. i promise" you say, leaning up and kissing his chin. "i love you too much to leave you"

Adam looked down at you, his eyes glossed with tears as he looks at you with pure love.

"you mean more to me than Eve and Lillith combined. i'd die if i didn't have you" Adam whispered, making your heart flutter.

"i love you, Adam. now sleep. i'll be here when you wake up"

Adam shifted onto his side so he faced you, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, a dopey smile tugging at his lips.

"i love you, babe"

"go to sleep, dick master"

"FUCK YEAH! someone understands my role here! fucking finally!"

"shut up and sleep, Adam*

Lucifer liked to wrap his wings around you while you slept, mainly because it made you feel safe, but also because he wanted to assure himself you wouldn't leave like Lillith.

your eyes flutter open as you feel Lucifer's wings twitching against you. you peer up and see Lucifer crying in his sleep, a distressed look on his face. you quickly sit up and bring him close to you, holding him.

"hey, hey, it's okay, Luci. i need you to wake up, my love" you coo softly, looking down at his face.

his eyes open swiftly and his wings open to their full size, knocking the nearby painting off the wall.

"hey, you're okay. it's okay" you say to him, your heart breaking as he looks up at you with fear in his glossed-over eyes.

"you...you're still here? you didn't leave?" Lucifer says softly, his hand reaching up to touch your face. your heart aches even more as he says this.

"no baby, i didn't leave. i'll never leave. i promise" you say, running your fingers through his hair.

his large red irises bore into you lovingly as a tear falls from his eye.

"you...you won't?" Lucifer questions, and you shake your head.

"never ever. i'll stay here as long as you'll let me" you say, leaning down to peck his lips.

he looks up at you with a small smile. his eyes say everything his mouth can't right now.

"come on, Luci. let's go back to bed." you say, guiding him to lay back down. once you're comfortably situated, he buries his face in your chest and falls asleep rather quickly.

you giggle softly, "good night Lucifer. i love you"

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Can we get the obey me boys(the brothers + dia, barbs, solomon, and simeon) reacting to mc having severe period cramps? Would they get all demon-y at the smell of blood?

Love your stuff btw!

Signed, a yandere junkie~

I'll do two for now 🖤🖤🖤🖤

Period | Yandere Obey Me

For those in the devildom having a draw for chaos and mortal pain it’s quite normal for blood to bring about a different kind of reaction. But to the surprise of no one period blood and the whole menstrual cycle is a complete bafflement to all who catch a whiff. Don’t worry though, you have the brother and your various friends. This surely won’t strike any of them to have an unusual streak in emotion and self-control, right?:

Lucifer

“It’s that time I’m suspecting?”

“Yes.”

“Understood rest easy, take your time to rest my dear.”

“A-are you sure?”

“Of course I'm sure. Do you doubt my promise to keep you?”

One of the most casual about it 

He absolutely has done research for this exact occasion

But nothing is like experience in taking care of you himself

As well as the compulsion that has him being just as reactive as you

“You seem a bit different today Lucifer…”

“Am I? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oooh is that a gift from (Y/n)--”

“dON’t ToUCh tHaT!” 

“...”

“...”

“Sorry, I don’t know what’s with me this week.”

You’re not with him that’s what

For all the necessities he delivers he’s been keeping his distance

Taking the advice of the human care books he gave you your space

After all who better to deal with the human-female innerworkings than a human-female herself

But something feels wrong more than usual 

And it only seems to stop when he returns to your side at the end of the day

“Perhaps the hormones that are at work in you create a…guardian of sorts…out of me.”

He doesn’t really understand, all he knows is that when you were preparing to go to RAD he frantically calmly decided you’d not be attending

His excuse reasoning? That he would hate for any lesser demon to feel what he’s feeling 

That and he’d actually try to kill anyone who shows such similar inclination to protect you

“If anyone should stay to soothe you in this great time of need. I’m not above massacring any threats to you while you’re at your most vulnerable..” 

Generally he’s quite tame

…compared to his brothers

Diavolo

“Hey (Y/n) why’d you run off like that I thought we were having a good time.”

“Diavolo!?”

“Oh…hey (Y/n) if you’re hurt it’s okay to tell us we have tons of things that help heal humans.”

“Ugh! No that’s not what’s happening here!”

“Don’t be embarrassed here i’ll help!”

“Aghghgh!!!! Barbatos! Barb–Ah! Don’t you dare!”

A scolding and prompt lesson from Barbatos is very much in order

For someone so adamant on urging the blending of their worlds he doesn’t really know about this side of humanity

And unfortunately he’s never been one for backseat learning

“(Y/n), we’ve spoken and Diavolo would like to propose a hands-on-lesson with you about your menstrual cycle.”

“Uhm what kind of lesson?”

“One that will require he familiarize himself with all aspects of this process. Something that would preferably stimulate the five senses.”

“....”

“....”

“....Lucifer!!!! Solomon!!!”

Even better it has to do with you

What better way to strengthen your bond by having to monitor you

Not only for your safety but for all of humanity

“Hey later on we should definitely watch that movie together!”

“Oh yeah I thin–”

“I’m sorry but she cannot!”

“What why not?”

“Because she’s coming with me! The best place for a woman on muenster cycle is with me at the royal palace.”

“Uhm that’s not tr-”

“Here I’ll take you now!” 

He’s going to be hard to teach

But once you sit him down or snap at him one too many times

He’ll decide listening to you is the best course of action

In turn it will definitely build a relationship between you two

It may not be as romantic as he planned

But he’ll take it….for now 

After all there’s one every month

“That was fun! I can’t wait until the next time!”

Because he’s actively testing for it he might find some demons and creatures that react to it

But he won’t actively experiment with you in danger

Because it’s just not a good look to brutally murder every other subject of his that has a reaction he doesn’t like

“Next month I’ll have to convince them to let me get a swab or whole container full that’d be really hot.”

[junos-jrabbles]

How would baking with the mercs go?

Authors note sorry it's all short and possibly unreadable I might do some more of the fellas another time :) I'm am so cold and eepy

Pyro, Sniper, and Scout :)

Pyro

Spectacularly, believe me, it’d go so well, definitely no burning around here! No sir!

Jokes aside, it’d go pretty well!

You guys would bake some cupcakes, maybe some sugar cookies, as they’d probably love all things sweet in the kitchen, and you’d both be covered in flour, eggs, sugar, and god knows what in no time.

You’d get walked in on while jousting with rolling pins, and have to try and make it seem like you were being normal. Impossible.

Pyro would be sat, cross legged on the floor in front of the oven, watching the baked goods through the window.

Only some of the confectionaries would come out burnt, mostly due to you two getting distracted flipping through the recipe book and gawking at all the pretty treats.

You'd point like an excited ape at a towering cake, and Pyro would excitedly drum their hands on the paper and teeter on their heels, squeaking out muffled, joyous sounds under the mask as the cycle continued.

You guys would FEAST on your delicacies in Pyro's room, and have a little picnic/tea party with some old cartoons in the background :)

~~~

Sniper

It’d be a pretty peaceful activity, I’d imagine, an hour or so spent kneading, rolling and cutting pre bought cookie dough before you set it in the oven for as long as it says on the tin while you go spoon in his bed.

He probably wouldn’t have the ingredients for baking (or much fancy cooking) in the camper, and when you guys snuck into the base’s pantry, Lieutenant Bites was paws shoulders deep in the sugar, so.

The cookies would come out pretty perfectly, a little misshapen, (Sniper definitely tried to turn one into a heart, or an animal of some sort, and it came out as a funny blob) but really good!

He'd make sure you were both there ready the second they started turning a yummy golden brown around the edges.

He'd pull out the tray trying not to laugh, “Promise you won't laugh… the dog's gone blobby—” And almost drop everything.

You guys would cook up a batch, put half in a nice big baggy and eat the other half with him on the sofa with a board game in progress on the coffee table in front of you.

~~~

Scout

He's throwing the eggs between his hands like that one cooking mama mini game, and is NARROWLY avoiding splattering them absolutely fucking EVERYWHERE.

He'd absolutely go try and steal one from Archimedes if he dropped one

There's a crumpled sheet of paper with his ma's Boston cream pie recipe on the counter, and flour covering every single surface.

“Look, I don't know what’cha mean by ‘It won't work’— Are you sayin’ my ma ain't a world star chef? Nuh— Nuh-uh, I ain't listenin!”

He's asking you to make it tiered like a wedding cake, and he's adamant that not only is it possible, but that you definitely know how to do it.

He's got his fingers in his ears when you try telling him you don't think you can do that, and only starts listening again when you offer him the whisk to lick when you're done stirring the base cake mix.

The cake comes out okay, you manage to get just about everything put together, though, you guys definitely ate a bit too much of the cream while you were waiting, and only had a small layer to put in by the end.

It's yummy, at least! And when anyone comes into the kitchen wondering why it smells vaguely like burning and moreso like cake, you two link up like a defensive wall in front of it, looking around very inconspicuously, of course.

“What cake? Where? Someone's got cake?” Sloooowly hiding it behind your backs.

[whatdoidosatoru]

lost in you

pairing: hanma shuji x reader | ao3

in which shuji comes home after a fight and needs to be taken care of <3

wc: 3.3k

cw: first person (sorry i just can't do second person pov), bruises, fighting (duh), no y/n, dry humping, some dirty talk, shuji is so needy, riding, light choking, unprotected sex, creampie, begging, pet names (baby, doll face)

MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI FUCK OFF 18+

Coming back home late from a fight was normal behaviour for Shuji Hanma. He fought for the thrill of it, for shits and giggles, but what he didn’t like about the whole ordeal was getting scolded for his injuries by his girlfriend.

His sweet girlfriend, who had never even thrown a punch, who didn’t like him fighting, who, despite that, always patched him up whenever he needed it and kissed his bruises better when he came home.

Now it was two in the morning and he had just parked his motorbike outside of the apartment complex. He walked up to the door and buzzed the intercom.

“Baby? It’s me, let me in.”

He wasn’t in the mood for anything apart from lying down pressed against his girlfriend’s chest and resting his aching limbs.

Inside the building, I got off the sofa where I dozed off while waiting for him to come back. I tried to stretch my neck but only made it hurt worse, so I dragged my feet (and the blanket that was draped over my shoulder) to the front door and buzzed him in. 

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and waited by the door to hear his footsteps and let him in.

He smiled as soon as he saw me standing in the doorway, wrapping his arms tightly around me. He didn’t hold back, squeezing me with all his leftover energy, and I responded with a tight embrace filled with everything I had at the moment.

“Hey baby…” He cooed softly, leaning down to plant a few kisses along my jaw and neck.

I was melting in his arms, slightly slurring my words as I was still waking up.

“Shuji, is everything okay?”

He chuckled softly, gently picking me up off the ground and carrying me into the living room. 

“Everything’s fine, baby. Sorry I’m home late,” he says softly, sitting down on the sofa, placing me on his lap, “just…had some assholes piss me off, nothing new.”

I ran my hands across his chest, checking his face and the sides of his head, his back, arms, thighs…everything, for any signs of bruises or other injuries. He definitely had a rough night, his body was littered with new and fading bruises from the previous fights. He allowed me to look him over, gently tilting my chin up with his fingers so he could look into my eyes clouded with worry.

“Baby, I’m fine…I promise I am.”

He assured me softly, pressing a few tender kisses to my lips. My lips stayed in a pout after he kissed them repeatedly, too tired to adjust my face.

“Who was it tonight?”

He couldn’t help but sigh at my question and the fact I even had to ask.

“Ran Haitani and his prick of a little brother.”

He grumbled softly, his hand holding me by the chin to appreciate my pout in full.

I leaned forward to kiss an old bruise on his jaw gently, reaching the back of his neck with my hand. He closed his eyes at my gentle touch, tilting his head back for better access. 

“Baby…”

He breathed out softly, his hands tracing down my waist and the tops of my thighs.

His eyes were lidded as he looked back down at me. I shifted on his lap so I straddled him instead of sitting sideways, getting better access to hug him and never let go. I trailed my lips softly along his bruises, down to his Adam’s apple. I let out a hum, feeling him gulp under my lips.

“Baby…what can I do to make you feel better?”

“Mmm…”

He practically purred as he ran his large tattooed hands along my thighs and back, feeling my body against his, distracting him from the soreness of his limbs and his bruises.

“Baby, you really wanna know what’ll make me feel better?”

My hands went into his hair, gently scratching his scalp again, seeing him become putty in my hands.

“Mhmm, what is it?”

He leaned back into the sofa, tilting his head back once more, melting in my hold. He couldn’t help but groan at the feeling, relaxing and erotic at the same time.

“Your touch…” he practically moaned out, “keep doing what you’re doing…it feels so…” he breathed out the word “good…”

I smirked as I tugged the strands of his hair ever so slightly before scratching gently again. I leaned forward to press a kiss to where his jaw met his ear and whispered.

“Feels good, baby?”

He shivered and his eyes drifted shut at my voice, a moan escaping his lips.

“F-fuck baby…” he breathed out shakily, “yeah…it feels…really good. Don’t…don’t stop.”

I let out a breathy chuckle as I saw him draw shallow breaths and shakily speak. His breath was warm against my neck and it sent shivers down my body.

I lifted my hips slightly just to rock them against his, teasing both of us at the same time. I kissed along his jawline and down to his neck, my tongue darting out to taste his skin.

“You deserve to feel good, baby.”

He shuddered at the slight contact of my hips, a breathy moan escaped his lips as his own hips buck to chase mine.

“Mmm…you make me feel so good…” he moaned out softly and pulled me closer, nuzzling into my neck and leaving small kisses on my skin, “don’t stop…”

I arched into his chest, pressing my breasts into him and biting the soft skin of his neck. My hands gripped his scalp tighter, sending shivers down his body. My hips pressed against his harder, begging to release some of the tension that was building between my thighs.

“What do you need baby? Tell me and I’ll give it to you.” I practically moaned into his neck.

“You…” 

He all but moaned out, tilting his head to the side to allow me easier access to his neck. His grip on my hips tightened, pressing me further down until I straddled him more firmly. A strained gasp escaped his lips as the movement pressed my clothed pussy against his straining bulge.

“I need…” He bit his bottom lip, barely holding back a low groan, “you, baby…don’t make me say it out loud.”

I chuckled against the sensitive skin of his neck, licking up to his ear and whispering.

“Mmm I kind of want to hear you beg, baby, but I’ll be good.”

I rocked my hips against his bulge, one of my hands still scratching at his scalp lightly, the other snaking up under his shirt and tracing the lines of his abs and chest. My rolling hips sped up slightly, helped by his firm grip on my ass and waist.

His breath came out in short bursts, each sound leaving his mouth either a desperate moan or a choked-back shiver. He couldn’t help himself, his fingers were digging into my plush skin as the friction on his bulge nearly had him seeing stars.

“Baby…f-fuck…” He practically gasped out, a cry for mercy. “B-baby…”

I used one hand to squeeze his cheeks together, pressing a deep kiss onto his pouty lips, swallowing every moan that had slipped from them. I lifted my hips up from his lap and in a soft voice commanded him.

“Unzip your jeans, Shuji.” 

As I said that, I moved the cloth of my panties to the side to allow him access to my slippery folds.

His mind was spinning, and with a shaky exhale he was all too happy to comply, his hands making quick work of his button and zipper, releasing his bulge from the denim confines with a sigh of released tension. His gaze flew over my body, ready in front of him, and landed back on my eyes.

“You’re so…gorgeous…”

I reached into his underwear and took out his hard and throbbing cock, positioning it at my entrance, and swiping it along my wet folds a few times for good measure. I took a moment to brush my thumb on his bottom lip slowly and kissed him deeply before sinking down on him, tantalisingly slowly.

His moans were hot on my lips, his breath heavy and thick against me as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to feel my body shivering as I took in his length all the way to the hilt. I moaned into his mouth as I sat flush on his lap. I rose up, sat back down, and rolled my hips a few times to establish my rhythm.

Every roll of my hips and every grind on his lap had him moaning and growling against my already kiss-swollen lips. His arms tightened their hold around me as I bounced on him.

“You look…so pretty…like this…” he moaned softly, his voice gruff, “I can’t…get enough of you…”

I let out a soft chuckle at the compliment, then ran a hand through my hair and threw my head back in pleasure, letting out a loud moan into the air. His lips were on my neck, needily kissing it with an open mouth. 

“You’re…so big, Shuji. Mmm feels fucking good, baby.”

He cursed under his breath, burying his face into my neck.

“You take me…so good…” He breathlessly moaned out, his arms flexing around my waist in an effort to keep me closer. 

I let out a needy groan, my hands moved up my body to squeeze my breasts before sliding back down to his chest, one still on my own body, rubbing circles around my clit as I mewled from all the sensations. I quickened my hips, desperately chasing a high, but still wanting to keep this going as long as possible.

He watched my hand work my clit carefully as his hands trailed up my sides and back down, settling on my plush thighs. He moaned at the sight, his breath catching in his throat.

“That feel good, baby?” He moaned out softly, his face flushed. “You look so…perfect…like that.”

I mewled at his words, nodding as I bit my lip. My hips sped up, rolling more intensely against him now, feeling his cock stretch me and hit all the right spots.

“S’good baby, feel so…full hmmm” I squeezed out a moan as I was getting close to release. “S-swear sometimes you go and fight just t-to get inside me…”

He chuckled breathlessly, his hand tracing along my thighs before his thumb replaced my fingers against my throbbing clit, rubbing it gently in time with my riding.

“Mmm…maybe I do…” he admitted with a playful smirk, his breath hot and heavy against my sensitive skin, “you know I can’t…get enough of you…”

He moaned lowly into my ear, his voice turning into a soft plea against my tight skin.

“Baby…I’m s-so close…”

I leaned against him, resting my head on his shoulder as I cried out with his thumb rubbing me just right, increasing the pressure just how I liked it.

“F-fuuck baby…I…don’t stop I-I’m so close…”

I sped up my hips, my rolls and hard drops of my ass against his lap becoming more desperate as he sped up his thumb on my clit. His breaths and moans became heavier, I could feel his breath faltering, warmth spreading against my neck.

His thumb pressed harder, rubbed faster in a desperate attempt to make me cry out in pleasure and cum around him, coming apart on his lap.

“C-come on…come on, for me baby…” he practically moaned the words into my ear, “wanna…see you cum…please…want you to cum…so badly…”

His other hand reached up to the base of my throat to squeeze a little, making me close my eyes in ecstasy and cry out his name at the feeling of his long, nimble fingers restricting my throat. The sight of his large tattooed hand snaking up my body to grip my neck was enough to send me reeling.

“Shu-ah fucccck Shuji!”

He moaned in response to my loud cry, the sound of his name slipping through my throat nearly finishing him off. He gripped my hips with both hands now, pulling me onto him, thrusting upwards into me like a maniac.

“That’s…good girl…” he moaned out against my chest now, grabbing any bit of flesh he could with his teeth, biting and marking anything he could reach, “so good for me…”

I shuddered at the intensity of my climax, my pussy clenching around him, and the sensation of his teeth grazing me, his lips sucking in any bit of skin they could. I cursed under my breath, not being able to slow down the rhythm, rolling my hips as he pushed into me with vigour, trying to get him to cum inside me again, chasing the feeling of being full.

“Shuji, baby, need you…fuuuck…need you so bad please.”

The feeling of my warm walls tightening around him, along with the pleas from my lips were enough to have him growling out my name, his breath became a low gasp as his hips moved to meet mine mid-roll. He was practically melting at the sound of my mewling for him.

“Y-yeah?...” he moaned out breathlessly, leaning down to bite a hickey into the soft flesh above my breast, “need me to…what? Tell me, baby…”

I groaned as he used my own words against me, making me say it out loud. My hips were recklessly rolling into him as I tugged on his hair lightly.

“Baby…I wan-I need you…to…fuck ah…need you to fill me up…ah”

He responded with a low, guttural moan from his parted lips, his gaze drifting to watch my lips rock against his. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer, not with those noises coming out of my lips.

“Say please baby…” he moaned out desperately against my chest, nipping it in the process, “say please…and I’ll give you everything…”

I mewled against his neck, my forehead pressed against his shoulder for support.

“P-please Shuji, cum in me…fill me up please…” I gasped as his thumb returned to my clit and started rubbing it quickly, “m-make it trickle d-down my thigh, baby…” I rolled my hips harder, clenching around him with need, “make my birth control work overtime, please, baby…”

A low, guttural moan of ‘yes’ escaped his lips in a barely audible whisper. His breaths turned into heavy gasps as he was still fighting his own release.

He reached up to cup my cheek in his large tattooed hand, tilting my head towards him to capture my lips into a greedy, messy kiss, practically pouring every ounce of passion and energy into it. He broke the kiss only to bite down on my bottom lip, his hips still moving up to meet mine in a more intense thrust.

I moaned into his mouth as he pulled me in, I neared another shuddering orgasm.

“Cum for me, Shuji, please baby…”

He moaned as heated, breathless gasps left his parted, kiss-swollen lips. He continued rocking his hips into mine, his cock bullying its way into me with each movement.

“B-baby…I’m close…” he murmured as he captured my lips with his again, “tell me…say please…I need to hear…you beg for me…”

I cried out, feeling my climax nearly there.

“Shuji please, b-baby, need your cum…need it please, give it to me, give me what I need baby please-”

He moaned against my lips, the hot breath bathing my sensitive lips and nearly breaking me. My mewling and begging nearly drove him wild, he was a desperate mess, his body pleading for release.

“Beg me…more…please,” he moaned through his teeth, “be…be a good girl for me…”

I whimpered and a sob escaped my throat into his shoulder where I was barely holding on. His cock was still working its pace, rutting into me even when I slowed down my hip movements.

“I’ve been g-good for you, baby, haven’t I? Please, baby, please, please, I need it…please, Shuji, fuck please, I’ll do anything…”

A guttural moan of pleasure ripped itself from his parted lips, his breath heavier against my skin.

“Yes…” he moaned out in hot gasps, his voice thick and raspy, “you have…so good for me…my good girl..”

I couldn’t hold myself back any longer, I cried out his name, along with a few curses, into his neck, shuddering and releasing another orgasm, clamping down on his thrusting cock. Squeezing and not letting go of him until I got every last drop of what he had to offer.

His breathing turned into deep moans as he rutted into me and finally spilled his cum all over my wet walls, shuddering in ecstasy, slowing down to help us ride out our highs together.

“Baby…” he all but groaned out, the soft nickname on his lips like a prayer, “good girl…you’re such a good girl…” he moaned into my neck, pressing a gentle kiss to my collarbone.

“Love…love you so much…love you Shuji, so much.”

His breath gradually evened out as he came down from his high. He pulled back to look into my eyes, his expression nothing less than utterly mesmerised and enamoured with me in his arms.

“Love you…more…” he murmured softly, his gaze practically glowing gold as it burned into mine, “so glad you’re mine…”

I attached my lips to his in a deep expression of the intense love I held for him.

“We’re not playing that game today, baby,” I stroked his hair gently, “you’re so good to me.”

He moaned into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut as he leaned into the touch of his head.

“Mmm, and you’re an angel…” he muttered under his breath, his face glowing in bliss as he pulled away slightly, “my favourite person in the entire world…”

I chuckled and shook my head lightly at this weirdo.

“It helps that you don’t like other people, but okay, I’ll take it.”

He rolled his eyes at my response, at the same time a smirk spread across his lips.

“Fair enough…” he paused for a moment, the smirk softening into an affectionate smile, “you really are my person, though.” He muttered in a soft tone, his gaze gentle and loving. “You’re my world…”

I caressed his cheek, smiling warmly at him.

“You’re such a damn sap. You’re lucky I would never go around and tell people.”

“Oh am I, huh?” He mused as he leaned into my hand, “You’re lucky I’m only this way with you, doll face. My reputation would be in ruins otherwise…”

“Big bad wolf, God of Death, Shuji Hanma, a big ol’ sappy pile of moans and shivers under a kiss of one girl, and one girl only.”

He sighed, shaking his head in amusement as he rolled his eyes.

“You make me sound so…needy and desperate. But maybe I am…I’m lost in you, completely.”

His hand moved up and gently gripped my thigh as he kissed me, gently, slowly. His thumb was tracing soft patterns along my flushed skin, his kiss as warm and tender as a summer evening.

I sighed against his lips when he broke the kiss, lips still in a light pout, not even an inch from mine and head tilted to the side.

“Take us to bed, baby?”

He gently picked me up and began making his way to the bedroom, pressing soft kisses against my neck and shoulders as he went. My feet were dangling along his sides and he held me tight. When he dropped me onto the bed, he crawled in after me and covered us with the duvet, snuggling into me, burying his face into my neck and breathing in my scent as if it was a drug he could only get from me.

His embrace tightened ever so slightly as if he was afraid he’d lose me if he didn’t hold on tight enough.

[fanofstuff01]

Part 2 of Adam being stuck with Valentino AU is here. Sooner than I expected I would release, but I’m not complaining. No one is obsessed with this AU more than me >:]

Read the first part and then read this if you’d like, but this starts as more about how Adam sold his soul to Valentino. Maybe this would work better as a first chapter, idk

16+ like Hazbin, also Valentino and his behavior in general

Tags: @woah-why-i-am-here @rius-cave @talesfromawannabejournalist @candyhoiic (hope you don’t mind) @puparella @fightinsoda

Tagging everyone I saw wanting a fic about this again @i--metamorphic--i @helena-hyena

Again Tumblr, I warn people from the start. Please.

Zoe presents and wishes you an awesome day/night!

“So, let me clear the air.” Adam said, scratching the base of his horns. He was sitting on a chair at the porn producer’s office. “You offer me to play on your fuck-movies, and in return, you’ll pay me?”

“Of course! And a place to stay if you need.” Valentino said and smoked his cigarette. “You don’t have to show your face if you don’t want, pretty sure my partner can design something for you.”

The first man bit his lip as he thought about it. It didn't sound too bad. Sex was his old job anyway, why wouldn't he just let it be again? This time he would even get paid in return. He needed a well-paying job. If he didn't pay him 8,500 within a month, that red mafia prick would hang his head permanently on his wall like a fucking painting. And no one else in this goddamn place wanted to hire him. On the other hand, this guy wanted him to fuck anyone he wanted. Including guys. On camera.

“I don’t think it’s..” Valentino looked at the first man. He knew he needed to play big to get him. But he couldn’t let him slip away from his hands. He could make him rich!

“You should go if you aren’t interested. I guess I had a wrong impression about you.”

“Wait-“

“I’m deeply sorry. I thought,” He dramatically said, smoking his cigarette “The first man wouldn’t have problems with sex. I guess your tool is not that great at all.”

“Hey!” Adam said, his tool had nothing to do with that! Not to mention it was the greatest!

“No wonder both Lilith AND Eve left you. I guess Lucifer WAS better.“

“Do you DARE to question how good I’m on bed? I had a ton of fucking kids!” He growled.

“Mmhm. Sure.” Valentino grinned. He was sure that if he used the first man's old insecurities against him, he would volume down the voice of his brain’s rational part. His rage was bubbling and leading him to make the choice he wanted. He could read it all over his face. Who would’ve thought Voxxie’s cameras would actually work on important shit? He thought to himself.

“Fine. I’ll work for you. But for the record, I want on paper that I will not work without the mask.”

“Deal!” Valentino said happily, summoned a pink glowy contract out of thin air and hand it out to the sinner with a pen. Adam read it quickly, it seemed normal. A few days off a week, paying him %58 of their earnings from the movies and monthly enough amount of money and other shit. He signed his name under it and felt something inside him change. Like there was something moving. He wanted to puke, but he held back.

“Excellent!” Valentino said with a wide grin. Why was he was so fucking happy? Because he gained a new whore? He didn’t knew nor care.

“We usually start on 1 pm, but i wanna see you on 11 am here tomorrow. Don’t be late~” He purred, carresing Adam’s hair. It made him uncomfortable. Maybe this was a bad idea. Shit, it definitely was.

“Okay.” He said and walked away to the door, glad that he wasn’t near that creep anymore.

— Five months later —

“Hey Adam. Can we talk? On your room?” Valentino called for him as he entered the studio.

“What’s the matter, Val?” He spoke and he entered his dressing room with him. Their director was also there, smiling as if he knew something Adam didn’t. He hoped this wasn’t that kind of ‘talk’.

“You became quite popular in the media y’know, everyone wants to watch your films. I guess the fallen angel concept was something everyone didn’t knew they needed. Your movies almost outsell Angel Dust's.” Valentino smugly said.

“Angel Dust?” He said, surprised as he remembered the spider demon he used to wa- ahem, see on the streets of hell when he was still an angel himself. Then one day, Lucifer’s brat showed him as a proof for her stupid “redemption” idea. It didn’t seem too stupid now though, if someone could fall, maybe someone could rise too. He had a vague memory of him fighting against his army. He didn’t had a personal hatred against him, but he was hating him as equal as he hated the rest of that hotel. Maybe a little less but still.

“Yes, my dear. Angel Dust. Travis!” He called to his director. “Bring him here!”

“Okay sir!” He rushed, still grinning.

“Why did you ask him to bring him? Why is HE doing that anyway? He asked.

“Ah, there you are.” Valentino spoke softly as Travis came inside with a curious -and slightly scared- Angel Dust, ignoring him.

“Val? Why did you-“ His eyes went wide as he saw the first man standing next to his boss. He did heard about Adam working here, he was left in pure shock when he saw one of his posters. He’d never expect to see that guy as a pornstar and just hoped that he won’t stumble to him. But there he was. His surprised state became anger in a short amount of time and he bared his teeth at the other demon. Adam did the same as he gave him the finger.

“Angel, amorcito! I’m assuming you know our newest bestselling actor!“ Valentino said and he looked at their faces. “Isn’t he such a cutie?”

“What do you want me to do, Val?” Angel asked, trying to keep his calm.

“Hmm, goin straight to the point I see. Okay. Since you are the top-selling sluts I have, I want you two to make a movie together.”

“WHAT?!” They both yelled.

“I’m sorry, but I am not fucking this! I have my standarts!” Adam angrily said, pointing at Angel.

“As if I am so curious about you, dickbag!” Angel crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

“Suck your own dick!”

“Eat a horse ass!”

“Are you two done? We have a job.” Travis said, though he seemed to enjoy this. Maybe that was why he was grinning later.

“Valentino, I can’t work with him!”

“Me neither!”

“Well that’s a shame, because I want you to do so. Now get ready, my whores.” He smiled to them, although it was clear that his temper was rising. “Get out, Travis. Prepare the stage.”

“But-“

“I wo-“

“DO WHAT I SAY!” The moth demon snapped, summoned both of their chains and yanked them to himself, almost causing them to fell down. “I asked you to do, and you will! I don’t want to hear any complaints!” He turned to Adam and threw him to the wall, scaring the shit out of him. “You, are going to fuck him harder than you ever did to anyone, either until your penis hurt or I decide it’s good enough. Got it?”

“Y-yes.” He shook his head violently, panting. He didn’t want Valentino to hit him like he did last week. Or him to lock him in his room for five days and give him water out of a dog bowl just so he wouldn’t die of thirst.

“And you,” He kept the chain on Adam’s neck, dragging him but he turned to Angel. “You are going to be under him for the next hour, or even for the following one if I think you aren’t moaning enough. Or you want me to make you do so?”

“Okay, Val.” Angel too looked panicked.

“Glad that we came to an agreement.” He chuckled and let go of them both. “Now collect yourselves! We have a looong shot to make!” He left Adam’s room as if he did nothing to them.

Adam looked at the spider demon. He couldn't help but feel sad towards him. No, it was more than just feeling sad. It was empathy.

He shook his head and tried to keep his old self.

“Get up, cunt. Let’s get this over with.”

—Continuing where we left off on the last chapter—

“Ungh..” Adam blinked slowly and held his head. There were stars dancing in front of his eyes. This was the last one right? He thought so. He hoped so.

“We’re done for today!” He heard someone shout behind him and a title on his mask. “LOCK: OPEN”. Good. Now he could go to his room and get dressed and get the thing on his fucking head off. He thought to himself. He took a few steps before he almost fell down, but a blurry pink figure hold him by his waist.

“Woah woah woah, you good there?” Angel said, looking concerned.

“Everything hurts…” He mumbled as he struggled to open the lock of his mask.

“Come here.” He helped him to get to his own room and sat him down. Luckily there wasn’t any Valentinos on sight.

“Can you..?” He dazedly pointed the lock of his mask.

“Sure.” He pressed the Voxtech button on the left to close the mask permanently, opened the buttons on the behind of it and took it off. There was Adam’s super tired face. There were bags under his eyes and his hair was messed up. How the fuck was his little beard was tangled?

“Mhhhh..” He groaned and looked around. “Where are we?”

“My room. Want me to get you somethin?”

“You’re the best Angel.”

Angel get up and went to his own bar of alcohol. There was only one. Of course, he was tired as fuck too, but he guessed today did serious damage to his friend. He had mentioned Val ordered him to film two different movies that included the fair use of his wings and he knew how much he hated people to touch them. “They are pretty banging, I know. But they are too fucking sensitive.” He felt anger as he thought of what he said. Oh, just what would he do to that motherfucker if he had the chance.

He turned back to Adam with the booze bottle on his hand. The demon’s head was in his hands.

“Here, I have this. Do you think you can walk?”

“Yeah yeah, I’m good.” He took the bottle and drank it down. Almost in one shot. He wiped his mouth, then flapped his wings lightly in order to bring them some comfort. “How ‘bout you? I bet he made you get fucked by three guys at once.”

“Three? Don’t be ridiculous. It was five.”

“Do you think this will ever come to an end?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Me neither. Lets go.”

“We’re still in our robes.”

“Right. I forgot.” He stretched. “Meet on the outside?”

“Yup.”

“See ya.” He walked away to his room to get dressed. When he was done, he got up and walked to the entrance. Good thing world decided not to spin anymore.

ITS HERE!

Would you believe if I said I worked on this for hours? And still not had enough?

Also, I know Adam definitely bottoms men, but Val just markets him as a ‘top bad boy’ and makes his and Angel’s movies a stereotypical gay porn in order to answer the pleadings of horny middle aged women

It’ll continue. Seriously, you would not believe me if I told you how much shit I have for this AU.

[rius-cave]

NSFW ask!

Okay first of all LOVE your depiction of the dynamic between Adam and Luci, and how Lucifer's more dominant- but how do you think they'd be if Lucifer was a power bottom or a sub top?

HmmMMM I'm gonna try to not get too graphic here, but just in case I'm putting this after a cut!

People that know me know that I am an AVID supporter of switch rights. I am never a "this person exclusively bottoms and this person exclusively tops" EVER. NEVER. I can't think of a single ship I have where that's the case. I go by percentages LMFAO.

In the case of Adamsapple, I'd say Luci tops about 80% of the time. Mostly because, as much as Adam won't say this out loud, Luci tops INCREDIBLY well lolol. But yes! I definitely think Lucifer likes to receive. We all agree Lilith used to peg that man, yes? We're all on the same page about that, right? So of course he'd want some attention that way as well!

That being said, he's still on the dominant side here definitely. A big part of this is because he just Knows What He's Doing, and to a lesser extent because Adam Does Not and is also a little lazy lol. Even if Adam is feeling more active/dominant, you can still tell Luci has the upper hand here sdkfjdgdf.

So what normally happens is that Luci comes to Adam, seductive, horny, with bedroom eyes, and Lucifer just goes "I am going to ride you so hard you're gonna see more stars than when you were in Heaven" aaaaaaaand it goes all down from there lolol

(I actually wrote a small drabble about that here hehe)

Lucifer takes care of most of the work, and even if Adam flips him over on his back or something like that, somehow it's still Lucifer who's guiding him through it and has him under his metaphorical finger haha

[aropride]

house season 8 episode 12 liveblogging (LONG post sorry)

sorry again. see why it took me 2 hours to watch 45 minutes

bandage placement made me think top surgery. god iwish i lived in the beautiful world i conjured in my mind for .3 seconds where chase took time off work to get top surgery

has anyone told him he probably shouldnt be having sex while also having an unhealed stab wound

thank god at least HE takes pills with water. unlike SOME PEOPLE (house 😒)

(respectful voice) big fan of.back muscles. Noreason for sharing just was moved by the spirit i suppose

every time house calls himself the c word i have an instinctual Hey man you cant say that reaction and then i go Wait he can reclaim nvm... Hes using it as a slur though

wait is this chase's apartmwnt I need to know fto write the most accurate fanfiction possible

guy who just got stabbed but is "fine" Okay man

NUNS......

can he stop standing and walking around and shifting his weight on his injured legs im nervous.

he was a seminarian......... i already knew this. but like. wow he has GOT to have some insane brain problems as a result. (thinks about "i had faith" "yeah that has baggage stamped all over it" exchange btwn him and adams)

^is this supposed to be hot or am i just insane

^BABYGIRL YOURE SO BAD AT THIS I LOVE YOU

i love you babygirl ur cool and casual touching ur hair despite barely having hair anymore is definitely showing how chill and calm u feel abt this conversation

"priests and nuns were the closest i had to family" :(

^what do u mean by this :(

"even though you don't find my case interesting, you find my interest in it interesting" AGAIN . CHASE KNOWS HIM SO WELL. and the pause after and looking at him like he's making sure he's reading him right and then house does exactly what chase expected. im normal about them

^oh you should ask chase about this topic im sure hes familiar #true /notprojecting

"your overreaction to your stabbing is to blame me even as you are drawn to me" ? i cant be the only one seeing homosexuality here

"how can you not be traumatized?" "can't change what happened. can only make better choices from here" me when im so not traumatized that i blame myself for what happened to prove im not traumatized.

"no one joins the clergy without having that epiphany.that god's love is speaking to you directly" <- needed to save this quote. not sure why. It will be helpful to me in my travels i think

this is sofucking good im. slurping this episode like apple juice Fuck

EVEN THE PATIENTS KNOW HES A WHORE!!!!!!😭

the first thing he has to know about being hypersexual/using sexuality as an unhealthy coping mechanism is that u cant drag other people into ur problems Especially if u have to interact with them regularly. (doubly so bc if they realize ur like, using them to worsen ur own brainproblems they will feel bad !!!) Fucking all the nurses at the damn hospital is like the worst thing he could do Now its followed him into his career Smdh. Well to be fair he probably didnt have an alter to tell him that. shout out mars i miss u every day

"i'm just looking for something more" "so am i" auoughhghhhhh

he spends all this time nowadays being like house but sometimes u can still see the earnest kicked-puppy look in his eyes

"you think im hitting on a nun? angry at god or i just need a challenge?" "Or you're terrified of intimacy, which is why you're a serial slut" MY JAW IS ON THE FLOORRRRR I THOGUHT I WAS THE ONLYT ONE SEEINF THIS SHIT!!! I PRACTICALLY WROTE THIS WORD FOR WORD THE OTHER DAY IN MY NTOES APP FOR THAT FUCKING. DIALOGUE I CANT STOP WRITING FOR SOME REAOSN.

got too excited about teevee show now i can feel all the blood in my body

"youre right i was running away" girl so is he :(

how it feels to lose urself in meaningless sex rainbow dolphin image :(and by rainbowdolphin image i mean not that

^😭 HELP

"there was a stabbing" ME WHEN I DISSOCIATE??? brother.see a therapist

"i need to get away from house and everything that reminds me of him" (house md 8.12) // "avoidance of trauma-related stimuli after the trauma" (ptsd criterion c)

"you're gonna get away from him by turning into him?" OH.... FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE IS SEEING THIS

i truly do not believe his little story abt how he got kicked out of seminary school im not buying thgat. me when i lie

he's like a puppy to me. hes so kicked puppy core. and his gay little outfit is so cute and i love him i want to pick him up and throw him against the wall. like a bouncy ball not in a sexual way. In a sexual way also tghough

DO NOT CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO THE PATIENT??? WHO YOU JUST MET AND SLEPT WITH ONCE??????

^in terms of how house is this is basically a deeply vulnerable discussion of his regrets and traumas

the little tiny barely perceptable nods i lvoe you i love you

[stellarfire]

it’s that time where i word vomit again !! this time about kelly and voight (mostly) !! thoughts under the cut !! i yapped so much i’m so sorry in advance, this isn’t very comprehensive but it’s late and my brain is every which way </3

let it be noted that i am not a frequent pd watcher so i am not crazy familiar with voight’s character !! a lot of this ramble is kelly-centric and is just my perspective on things !! cool? cool. okay let’s go :)

at their cores, i think the two of them are very different. that’s to say, mainly, voight is a lot more morally gray than kelly is. but that said, they’re not entirely different (DONT BOO ME I’LL EXPLAIN)

first and foremost, i have no idea how exactly these two are gonna butt heads. obviously, there’s some level tension between voight and 51 bc of past experiences. voight has and will go against what’s ‘objectively’ right and will consequently resort to questionable and/or concerning means to reach a solution he wants. compare that to kelly, who often tries to mitigate the damage to that/those around him in order to reach a solution

✨however✨ i think a lot of people seem to forget what lengths kelly is willing to go to when it comes down to it? this is mostly side thoughts but i’m saying them anyway💀 by all means, more often than not, kelly takes the objectively right path. he’s always putting other people before himself. but then you factor in things like him brushing off pascal indirectly admitting he set bishop’s car on fire, him quite literally not only stabbing cotner with a pike pole when he had his gun pointed at stella, but driving it deeper, and what i would honestly consider the holy grail of what could be considered objectively incorrect actions: him threatening to kill a guy and beating him senseless after cornering him to get information on katie’s whereabouts when she was kidnapped, rather than letting the police handle it. granted, i sure as hell don’t knock him for it!! the man has a protective streak for his loved ones that runs 100 miles wide. but that doesn’t change the fact that his actions technically aren’t objectively correct (by ✨societal standards✨)

ANYWAYS tho, back to the actual crossover thoughts. as i said here, i think the bulk of their tension is gonna result from how to get everyone out from the subway collapse. from my personal perspective, they have conflicting interests: voight strikes me as the type to be more concerned/focused on the suspect than anything else (outside of ruzek and potentially stella, but i’m not very familiar with his relationship with adam so please excuse me), while kelly, outside of stella, is more worried about the victims than anything else

maybe voight tries to suggest actions against the suspect (or getting into the subway collapse overall) that puts everyone else in further harm’s way?? and kelly has an issue with it?? i have no idea !! that is just me spitballing

but it makes me wonder where they’ll find common ground, bc lord knows they’re gonna have to, or else. will voight dial it back? or will kelly dial it forward? voight doesn’t have the same emotional attachments in this situation that kelly does; as much as he likely does care about adam (and stella, to an extent), there’s a clear fundamental difference between that and stellaride’s marriage.

that said, this is arguably the worst situation stella and kelly have ever been in. mayday (10x1) is definitely up there in that it forced stella to start considering a life without him, and it’s probably the worst situation at this current point in time before the crossover has aired, but now, there’s so much more at stake. and i think you can tell that by kelly’s visceral emotions alone

it makes me wonder (again). he clearly will not be 100% emotionally sound during this like he normally is on calls. it’s gonna be rough. and that’s not even including the fact we know they’re potentially gonna be saying goodbye to each other (and other emotional things) because they don’t know what’ll happen. so i wonder… how far would he be willing to go?

do i think he’ll actually do anything stupidly drastic? no. but god knows he’d do anything by all means necessary to get stella out of there alive. and so a part of me can’t help but wonder what lines he could potentially cross, who he’d be willing to defy (i.e., pascal, mainly) in order to ensure that he can get to her. i can definitely see him defying pascal as well as other security measures, and i think, just maybe, voight could be a further nudge in that gray direction

as a final note tho, as much as we’re about to see tensions between him and voight, i also know that they’re two of the most competent leaders there in their own merits, and i think it’s predominantly gonna be them who put this thing to a resolve (of sorts) by working together

[kanerallels]

I've been waiting to share this fic for way too long and I am SO EXCITED. Introducing, for @chenford-prompts 2 Days of Chenford: my fic for today's prompt: Time! As is pretty typical of me, I did not take this in a normal direction. Enjoy the angst, and the first lines under the cut!

Also please enjoy this playlist, you guys helped me make it and it is a MASTERPIECE!!

“7-Adam-100, an alarm has been tripped in a residential neighborhood near your location. 447 Oakhurst Avenue.”

As Tim started to reach for the radio, Lucy said, “You know, that’s almost definitely a false alarm. We could just leave it for someone else.”

“We’re closest,” Tim pointed out. “And it’s not always a false alarm.”

“Oh, come on, Tim. More than half the time, the homeowner just accidentally tripped the alarm on their way out.”

Tim frowned at her. “Since when are you trying to get out of doing your job?”

“I’m not, I just—” she faltered, and glanced down. “I just think it’s a waste of time. Especially for a sergeant.”

“Yeah, well, that’s not your call.” Grabbing the radio, Tim clicked it on. “Show us responding.”

Replacing it, he glanced at Lucy as they took another corner, heading towards the address. She was quiet, staring out the window, but Tim could see her reflection in the glass. There were dark shadows under her eyes, and her expression was tight with frustration.

This wasn’t normal Lucy behavior. She was empathetic and kind, and she took her job seriously. Some cops would try to blow off something like this, but not her. So what was it about? Was she still upset about their argument yesterday? He’d apologized that morning, but it had to be something.

Speculating wasn’t going to do him any good. “You okay?” he asked, bringing the shop to a halt at a stop sign. 

She didn’t respond right away, not until they were moving again. “Yeah— fine.”

“Listen, if this is about what I said about Sanford—”

“It’s not. You— you weren’t wrong,” she said, glancing at him. “Going out with him was probably a one time thing. He’s not… it wouldn’t work out.”

They turned onto Oakhurst. “Okay,” Tim said. “Then what’s wrong?”

She didn’t respond. When Tim looked at her again, she was staring at the house they’d pulled up in front of, her gaze heavy with something like dread. Then she unbuckled. “I can handle this— why don’t you stay here?”

Before Tim could even formulate an answer to that absolutely ridiculous question— he was a sergeant and her superior officer and definitely not the type to be sitting around in his shop while his gofer took care of calls for him— she’d opened the door and was heading for the house. 

“Wha— Chen!” Scrambling to unbuckle his seat belt, Tim slammed the door behind him with a little more force than was strictly necessary. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Just stay in the shop, I got this!”

“Lucy, what’s going—”

The shatter of glass, and Tim instinctively turned towards it.

A gunshot.

And then something slammed into his upper chest, sending him toppling backwards.

[idkwidatp]

Sk8 the infinity headcannons.

(⚠️tw for mentions of sh and ed)

• reki is transmasc

• Miya is a theater kid and was a gacha kid. He will randomly quote heathers out of the blue but it's never like semi-normal ones it's always like "what do think I'm gonna do with it take out her tonsils? I think I know heather a little bit better than you and if she were to slit her wrist the knife would be spotless. Is that better? can you see your fuckin' reflection in the thing?!" And everyone stares at him like:

●miya was really worried about reki when him and Adam beefed for the second time and had nightmares about about it for a while after it happened and he didn't tell anyone but one time he slept over at reki's house with langa and had one of these nightmares and he kinda had to tell them after that.

• Miya bullies kids on Roblox constantly

• Miya does the beach thing any chance that he gets when Joe is flirting with girls. Cherry has actually asked him to do it multiple times, because he's jealous and will not admit is but Miya knows.

• There have been multiple times where Miya has called Joe and Cherry 'mommy' and 'daddy' by accident unironically because he's made a habit out of ironically calling them that when joe is flirting with girls or when he just feels like messing with them

• Miya has an eating disorder and it went from him just eating things like protein bars to barely eating anything at all and one time when he had a beef at s he actually passed out because he had barely eaten in days and they all took him to the hospital and they were told that he was malnourished and they talked to him about it and it took a second but he did open up about it after a while and they had a group hug and everyone was very supportive of him and sweet about it and at every milestone reki is always the one that happiest for him like miya will be like "i've been clean for a month now! :)" and reki just takles him in a hug like "IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!!!!"

• Reki has a past of self harm and he relapsed when he had that falling out with langa but he's clean now

• Miya and koyomi are besties and are constantly menaces to reki

(can you tell who my favorite character is?)

• one time reki got hurt skateboarding and it wasn't to big of an injury but it also wasn't a minor injury either and they took him to the hospital and Miya was obviously very anxious but Everytime that joe or langa would ask if he was okay he would just brush it off and say he was fine and then reki came out and said he was fine it was just a minor concussion Miya tackled him in a hug like "thank God!" And reki goes "are you crying?" And he says no but but definitely is and then he goes "idiot, slime...... I am glad you're okay though" and later when Miya isn't around reki's like "I forget he's only a kid alot of the time because he's so mature" and it's not because worrying about him is inherently childish but because that wasn't the way anyone else reacted and no one else was as worried as Miya because he's a kid and doesn't have the same reasoning as that an adult or even just someone older than him would have

• Miya plays stardew valley and he has only ever married seb and that's only in one save file and in every other save file he's roommates with krobus

• Miya's parents aren't abusive or neglectful he just has a dad whose work schedule is all over the place and a mom who travels for work alot so he just doesn't see them alot but he does have a good relationship with them

[horrorknife]

okay idk if crossovers or aus or whatever are your thing at all but if they are (or even if they aren't but you're in for thought exercises) WHO in saw would make the funniest or worst or best candidate for at 2001 a space odyssey type situation. like who is dave and who is hal and who are the others.

and i am hoping this makes sense outside of my own head.

OH...OH MY GOD. FUCK THIS IS A REALLY REALLY HARD QUESTION TO ANSWER. DUDE YOU CAN'T JUST SMASH TWO OF MY SPECIAL INTERESTS TOGETHER LIKE THIS FUUUUCK!!!! also i absolutely am into crossover au type things im just very specific about them. i did write like 8k of a dirkjake 2001 au over the summer KJSGNJKSFNG

okay . so like...i think probably the obvious choice could be amanda as dave, john as hal, and hoffman as frank. BUT we'd have to assume that amanda and hoffman could be Normal around each other so this doesn't work. they butt heads too much. amanda does work well w lynn but i don't think she's actually all that good at giving orders, we normally see her following them...so maybe amanda doesn't work as dave either. john as hal makes sense to me for OBVIOUS reasons. oh also i don't think amanda could go through with disabling john like dave does so . damn

let's see. okay. so lawrence could definitely work as dave if i think about it? he's a surgeon so his job calls for a similar level of confidence and precision, and lawrence is very Good at what he does (also see: the line from the book about how dave never thought he'd be in the middle of space carrying out an impromptu brain surgery. Because it makes it funny.)

using this, we need someone that lawrence can reliably get along with in a civil way and won't distract him. so adam is off the table. and actually adam shouldn't be in the running at all tbh he'd be awful as an astronaut. really i think we could potentially use hoffman bc in my mind they don't Get Along but they could have a 100% business relationship. and we know that hoffman is reliable at his work if nothing else i guess? ACTUALLY. YOU KNOW WHAT. hear me out. perez as frank. i know perez and lawrence never interacted in canon but i think they'd actually get along swimmingly (altho perez definitely thinks hes annoying as hell LOL).

ok yeah i think that might be my final answer. lawrence as dave, perez as frank, and john as hal. This is my design

[simperoniandcheese]

Just For Us- TJ/Cora (The Good Cop)

Just For Us

simperoniandcheese

Summary:

Cora and TJ have secrets. This is one of them.

Tall and tan, and young, and lovely,

The girl from Ipanema goes walking,

"God, Caruso, change your alarm already, it's driving me insane," Cora groaned, burrowing deeper into the mattress.

TJ chuckled, and leant over to silence his phone before settling back into the sheets, gently peeling them back until his wife's face was looking back at him.

"Think that's annoying?" He smiled, to which she tilted her head in amused confusion. "On the morning of my 18th birthday, Dad changed my alarm--he switched the English segment around with the actual start of the song, which is in Portuguese. I thought I was losing my mind."

"Jesus, that does sound like Tony." Cora replied, her voice straining as she stretched, then returning to normal as her head came to rest on her husband's lap, where he began to softly caress her hair, the tips of his teeth showing in a brisk grin as she reached back to cup his cheek with her free hand, the other pinching, grasping at the hem of her singlet.

"Do you think we should tell him, though? About..." TJ frowned a little, trailing off.

Cora's hand on his face slackened, and her other hand went up to the now-noticeable slope of her stomach, where it stayed as she breathed, her expression one of deep thought, and TJ's mind went into overdrive, the cogs of his brain tick-tick-ticking as he spilled out. "I-I mean, we don't have to, it's your choice, I--" but eventually stopping as he caught her withering look.

"Assuming we're 17 or so weeks along, it won't be too far ahead before everyone in the force cleverly deduces that this little goblin here isn't just a case of going ham on the takeout." She sat up to nearer his level, her focus so clear like a mirror on her face he could've smashed it with a hammer.

Although, he thinks bemusedly as they lean into each other like magnets, as the younger guys in the squad would put it, I "definitely smashed" something else entirely to get to where I am now.

Nevertheless, TJ nods, gesturing for her to go on as she shifts her head against his collarbone.

"My point is that there's not much point trying to hide anything soon. I'm thinking we could just tell people straight off, with none of that Hollywood-type 'we're pregnant!' shit."

"That sounds good, I think." He trembled slightly, his words cutting out with a nervous bob of his Adam's apple.

"Shit-I didn't mean to stress you out, TJ, I'm sorry," She gasped, grabbing his hands firmly. "I want you to tell me if something's bugging you, 'kay?" She looked into his eyes, her pupils almost entirely swallowing her irises because of the lack of light that was in the bedroom.

"I'm just terrified that I'll slip up and everything will be ruined because of me. You know me, I make horrible decisions 80 or 90 percent of the time, and screwing up is even less of an option because now there's gonna be our child in the picture," He stressed, 

She cut him off again with the type of hug that silences. 

"Okay, okay. Think of this as that one Star Wars movie where Darth Vader's wife is pregnant and he's like 'you're gonna die in childbirth, nooo', and she doesn't actually, she's killed by him because of his anger and evil, the very evil that sprouted from the fear he had of not being able to save her." Cora articulated with a squeeze of her hands in his, and he looked back at her with a mildly concerned expression.

"...I've only watched the original trilogy, Cora." He exhaled.

"Well now you've watched the prequels. Anyway, I wanted to show you something I bought," she told him, a certain something sparkling in her eyes as she led him down the stairs and to the small table, where a small box was lying.

"I have a feeling I'm going to be pleasantly surprised," TJ remarked with a small smile on his lips.

"Open it, open it," Cora giggled, her face aglow like she knew something he didn't. (Which, to be fair, was exactly what it was.)

"I hope it's not a razor, Burl got me that as a little joke one ti..." He faltered, his words, all that he was going to say, gone in a flash. 

It was a mug. A mug that said "#1 Dad". He felt himself tear up a little, as his brain apparently hadn't woken up to the fact that yes, they were bringing a child into the world.

Out of love.

Him and Cora.

"Thank you," TJ choked out, at a loss for words. 

He opted for the non-verbal approach instead, pulling her into his embrace tearfully and pressing his lips against hers, and he was crying and she was crying and all he could muster was a small sob while she patted him on the back softly, her voice whispering into his ear.

"You're gonna be the best dad,"

[radioisntdead]

It better become a series! I love it.

I'm thinking either Happy Town (made into Hazbin town) or something that means hell like Tophet town.

Also I love that Adam is decked out in Joja merchandise, I bet he has a Joja guitar and he uses it in commercials.

And I love that Susan is George, especially since getting hearts with George is like gaining a grumpy grandpa- so grumpy grandma Susan.

-Oldie 🧶🧵

Tophet town is GENIUS,

I'm already plotting out the storyline, I'm gonna implement routes for everyone, platonic or otherwise, I'm gonna make the reader (Or in this case the farmer) a feral one, unless its the Joja route, then y'all are just kinda evil for that route, the Lute route's farmer is gonna have the "I can fix her" mentality, Alastor's route is gonna have, I don't know yet but I may build on my theory that grandpa ran a cult, THIS OLD MAN LOOKS LIKE HE RAN A CULT

Okay not really but still, I normally adore fictional old people but Grandpa triggers my something is off senses.

Like sir are you the reason we're immortal and time has practically stopped in this game?

And I ABSOLUTELY LOVE GEORGE, (and Evelyn) AND I LOVE SUSAN the best thing to do was to put Susan in his role, she may not live in town but she's around enough to be part of the community, more or less,

(Stardew valley spoilers )

I have a "you're gonna be my friend wether you like it or not" mentality with fictional characters so after I met George whenever I went to bring Evelyn something I always made sure to get something for George, I keep extra leaks and flowers for the winter to deliver them to George and Evelyn, I love them so much.

I can definitely see Susan going through a similar arc especially with the time period she's from.

A thing I like about George's character arc as you get to raise his hearts is how if you do Alex's romantic route as a guy George makes a homophobic comment, not completely supportive, but as time goes on (and with the more hearts you have with him) he learns to get over his bigotry and support his grandson and grandson in law.

(I couldn't find what George says in his wiki for some reason? So I got this from a YouTube comment and I am HOPING ITS RIGHT)

"I'll admit, I thought it was strange for two men to be together, but you're such a nice young man and I know you two are in love... I've changed my mind"

I love old people going through redemption arcs so much, like relearning something you've believed your entire life , changing your world view is a very hard thing to do sometimes, it's likely a product of how you were raised, the views of those around you, and you have to face the fact that the people you learned it from may not have been the greatest like you thought.

No idea if I'm gonna have Susan go through a similar arc and explore that or not (If I do, I definitely wanna give it justice) because grumpy grandma with detail, Plus as seen before, I heavily headcanon that she was involved with woman's rights in her youth so that can pop up with her there's so MUCH POTENTIAL RAAAA.

I just realized I may need make everyone human for this au,

Uncannibals your grumpy cannibal grandma

He tried to start a Joja band, Did NOT WORK OUT, Sera put a stop to it quickly.

Adam's room is just fully decked out In Joja, The Joja guitar hangs over his bed, Joja wallpaper, the food is eats is Joja branded, Joja EVERYWHERE

He lives, breathes and eats Joja, JOJA IS HIS LIFE.

(Hell is forever? No JOJA IS FOREVER)

Sera is honestly concerned that's why she actually sent him to the valley, So he could touch grass.

He did not touch grass.

He does get shoved into the sea during the Jellyfish festival though.

[tsulaika]

Hi it’s the hoffheight anon

okay so I’ve been thinking and I think that Narc by Interpol is kind of a hoffheight song?? From Hoffman’s perspective right, and maybe Adam is like still attached to Lawrence because they were in the trap together, but Hoffman still is really attracted to him and wants Adam to choose him over Lawrence.

and like maybe they’re sleeping together during this, given some of the lyrics in the song. And idk the song just gives me possessive Hoffman vibes, I wanna hear your thoughts on it if you have any

(i assume you mean Adam crushing on Lawrence, but if you don't then fuck i'm sorry just pretend i wrote this in a non-romantic sense) you're so right for this. i will admit, i am sorta obsessed with the idea of there being a love triangle between the 3 of them focused on Adam. there's already so much to explore there. i usually pictured it as Lawrence/Adam comes first, and then Hoffman gets involved slowly after, but Hoffman/Adam with Adam pining over Lawrence has so much more dramatic potential. I do have a fic involving the 3 of them in the works right now, so i have explored their dynamic a bit. the 3 of them having a poly thing is already rough enough, but again, the pining thing... omg. some of the lyrics almost make me picture Hoffman like a dragon hoarding his treasure, which ofc is how he would be. always looming near Adam in some way, esp if Lawrence is around. i imagine either Adam himself admitted to his feelings in some form or Hoffman can tell somethings up (this man cannot read emotions very well, but his possessive ass can tell when Adam's acting different around someone) he'll either be subtle, or not at all subtle about his possessiveness. Adam gets to stay with him more, gets to borrow his clothes (you know something up if he does that. if adam wants to borrow clothes he's gotta sneak them himself) and as previously stated, he sorta looms around him. i doubt Lawrence registers any of it as anything out of the ordinary. he just appreciates getting to spend more time with Adam and coming to terms with everything that's happened with them. he just shrugs off Hoffman's behavior as his normal possessive nature, and doesn't pick up on anything different with Adam. however, i totally can see Lawrence teasing Hoffman about it. he may not know Adams true feelings or intentions, but he'll use it to get under Hoffman's skin anyways, but he'll play it off as if he's doing nothing and that Hoffman's over reacting. i can't see it concluding well (if it concludes at all) since none of these men are good at communicating; Hoffman especially. i see 3 endings to this: 1. Adam does leave Hoffman and (may or may not) end up with Lawrence. (ends with Hoffman being not so silently pissed about the whole thing. he's definitely vengeful, and his relationship with Lawrence only gets worse) 2. something magical happens and they somehow open up enough to form a relationship that includes Lawrence (this is me putting my fanboy goggles on. i have no clue how this could start or end without Hoffman and Lawrence fighting and ruining the whole thing, if that doesn't happen, then Lawrece is just passive aggressive to Hoffman like 90% of the time) 3. Adam's affections go unrequited and he either grows closer to, or more distant with Hoffman. (Hoffman acts as his shoulder to cry on through the process. he's almost silently glad it happened because Adam is even more attached to him then before (if we're going down the attachment route) so he gets to subtly manipulate Adam further into being attached to him.)