#I ALSO WANT TO BE ABLE TO FUNCTION
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wow i kind of really fucked myself up with the whole "unconsciously creating a character and constantly acting as them thing" for a super long time, and it turns out! that this version of me! this mask! that i constructed! actually has different desires and passions and interests than the real me!!!! would've been nice to know before i committed so much time to one of them!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
#this is about acting#i do like acting#but i dont think i love it enough to continue acting as an extracurricular#it's not my main passion#i dont know if it even ranks in the top five#and when you do theatre#or fucking apparently other kinds of acting too#you have like no time to reasonably do other extracurriculars#I WANT TO WRITE AND READ AND DO OTHER STUFF IM PASSIONATE ABOUT#I ALSO WANT TO BE ABLE TO FUNCTION#doing a show plus my improv club first semester was hellish#im not a person that functions well while constantly working!!!#unfortunately i need rest!#so#something has to give#and im sick of putting other people's wants above my own#also im sick of putting other people's wants above my needs????#i need to stop doing that holy shit
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sometimes you gotta lure your overly-studious ravenclaw gf into spending time with you 🥰 📚 ( from 'Every Teardrop is a Waterfall' by Kat_12739 on ao3, GO READ IT!!! the first story is about seb falling sick and still pushing himself/not admitting he's sick until he ends up in the hospital, the second story is about the birth of seb and clora's daughter and seb's reaction to clora almost dying in childbirth, and the third is about dealing with a fussy newborn lewis😭🥹THEY'RE SO GOOD AND SWEET AND SOMEWHAT SAD (not to mention beautifully written) so go check it out!!💖💖 )
#READ SO I CAN YAP TO SOMEONE ABOUT THEM🙏😩💘#the seb sickfic made me realize how much i needed barely functioning and sick seb (but him still trying to be tough)#theres also a part that cracked me up bc at one point seb is so sick he cant even see straight but he just thinks to himself:#eh its fine.... ill just ask ominis how HE functions without vision later🤷 LMFAO#so stubborn...JUST LET CLORA TAKE CARE OF YOU MFER🤺🤺🤺#defs gonna be drawing more from it especially sick seb LMAO but also seb having a tea party with celeste🥹🥹#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian x mc#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow fanfiction#hphl#choccyart#also i was never planning on writing anything about clora giving birth or abt the kids so to be able to read it WAS AMAZING#THERES A PART WHERE SEB IS HOLDING CELESTE AND CRYING AT CLORAS BEDSIDE THAT I NEED TO DRAW😭😭#LIKE SRSLY seb being conflicted and not even wanting to HOLD celeste bc he doesnt know if clora is alive or not... IT WAS SO SAD BUT GOOD#i honestly dont know what seb would do if clora died in childbirth tbh.......i could honestly see him resenting celeste#esp since she looks so much like clora😭😭#LETS JUST NOT THINK ABOUT IT!😃👍#(still thinking about it)#like this line in the fic: “Sebastian hesitated; if this was Clora’s last gift to him he wasn’t sure he wanted it.”#😭😭😭ITS SO GOOD UGHHHHH😭 TY AGAIN FOR WRITING THESE💖IM SO TOUCHEDDD💖💖
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North and Simon: (shaking hands on killing Simon potentially)
#detroit become human#north wr400#simon pl600#markus rk200#josh pj500#jericho is just... so funny to me as like. how they function (or dont)#like im v glad that i did a Good Job my first run and no one hated me but i also felt like a very distraught parent#in regards to how markus is just able to either hurt them (by suggestions OF THE OTHERS IN THE GROUP)#or help them because hey what the fuck i just dragged simon to safety and now north wants me to kill him#and then simon like oh no north got shot you should leave her BUT ! i saved her and made simon happy#so its like you know what they have to have some animosity but also respect#i feel like i wanna see more of north and simon being buddies ... and i might have to do that myself#but i also apologize if this is ooc for them because i really did only just play through once and got a not good end#i probably missed a lot of lore and stuff so im v sorry if im Messing Them Up#its currently just me liking their designs and vibes and hoping im not ruining other fans lives by being wrong#and i honestly dont know when north would kill simon but hes on her possible victims list#so since both of their victim lists include themselves for suicide it just reminded me of the meme#with im so mad im gonna (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health)#and it was like yeah watch north be like im gonna (well if i cant kill myself because markus said no suicide) murder someone
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Look I know Lucifer isn't the best dad ever but I feel like people who say he's a bad dad are purposely ignoring the context of the show. It is very much implied that he thought Charlie wanted nothing to do with him, and Charlie thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Lucifer’s still dealing with trauma from Heaven and his fall and probably will for the rest of time plus he's dealing with what would probably qualify as clinical depression, and simultaneously dealing with trauma, clinical depression, and autistic traits (which Lucifer absolutely has; I do not say, as an autistic person, that Lucifer is a massive autistic mood for no reason) is a fucking NIGHTMARE.
I'm not saying Lucifer shouldn't take responsibility. He should. But he's already doing better than my dad frankly. Lucifer hits me in the daddy issues, I wish my dad made an effort to be more active in my life. Lucifer is fucking trying, and that's better than a lot of people can say about their dads.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#like i said hes definitely not the best dad but hes also not the worst. hes trying#thats both better than he was doing and better than a lot of people get#(i do think stolas is a better dad but his and lucifers circumstances are also completely different)#if lucifer hadnt bothered helping charlie then yeah id say hes a bad dad#but he put his instinct to avoid the thing that gave him trauma (heaven) at all costs aside for charlie#he was able to acknowledge that yes hes been a shit dad and could be doing better#he made an active effort TO DO BETTER#he actively made a change about himself for the sake of being there for charlie and that alone is better than most people can do#he wasnt a bad dad on purpose. he thought charlie didnt want to see him and acted accordingly which made his mental health problems worse#and his mental health problems being worse made it harder for him to function let alone be charlies dad#again im not saying he shouldnt take accountability just that people dont acknowledge why he was absent for so long#(me being me i blame lilith for making lucifer think charlie didnt want to see him and making charlie think lucifer didnt want to see her)#maybe this is littered with bad takes and my perspective is clouded by daddy issues. idk lol
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Grovyle, Celebi, and Dusknoir creating the most intricate plan regarding the most appropriate time to meet Hero and Partner again in the present while they’re next to the Passage of Time. How they’ll explore the present first as a trio for a couple more weeks/months, have Grovyle and Celebi reunite with the two whilst also giving a Big Heads Up regarding Dusknoir; where they’d then go on to see whether or not they truly want him there, and take the necessary action based on their decision. (Whether it’s a unanimous ‘fuck no we don’t want him back’, 50/50, or completely okay with starting over.) Nodding in agreement towards the plan and stepping into the portal together.
They then proceed to immediately get spotted by Hero and Partner just relaxing on the beach.
#I THINK IT’D BE FUNNY#still absolutely of the opinion it’s Grovyle that drags Dusknoir into coming with them.#Mainly because those two deserve closure/get their feelings towards the wraith out.#But Also knowing Dusknoir misses them and would never be able to move on for himself if he didn’t at the Bare Minimum apologize-#-for the heartache he caused those two. but if he heard from the two grass-types that they never wanted to see him again. he’d accept it.#(Because Arcues knows what they want is 100x more important than whatever the hell he was hoping for)#BUT. THAT DOESNT HAPPEN. AND NOW HE SUDDENLY AS A TEARY; FATHERLESS PUPPY CLINGING TO HIM.#AND THE MOST VENGEFUL 1’FT FOX SIDE EYEING HIM.#<<< Ribbons says it’s okay for him to stay. (for literally only her partner; brother; fairy grandmother’s sake.)#(obviously any adult with functioning eyes could tell that was the case/she still hates his ass)#but it’s not like Dusknoir can just up and leave because lo’ and behold it ended up being a 50/50 😭 that old fart is STUCK there#I’ll probably elaborate on this more when my brains functioning#but tl:dr= Grovyle: pure of heart; dumb of ass. (and ends up unintentionally saving their doomed ass father/daughter/son relationship.)#even if it takes. (checks my notes) 3-6 years
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Seen a few people too many discuss the concept of Dragodile Baby 2 and my hot take is that there's no way in hell Crocodile would ever detransition just to go through nine months of horrible dysphoria again, let alone go through pregnancy ever again (or allow Ivankov to even touch him, what if they died and weren't able to trans Croc's gender again afterwards? Hell naw, ain't worth the risk)
But this leaves an opportunity for a Funnier Option:
Dragon wants another baby? Sure, but it's his turn to carry it >:)
#Moon posting#OP Meta#Dragodile#CW Pregnancy#Iva-chan's HRT is *MAGIC* HRT. You get a fully functional cis ass body. Dragon can be forcefemme'd and impregnated WE HAVE THE TECHNOLOGY#I just. Imagining the convo that would lead to this has me in hysterics okay#Like Crocodile completely casually telling Dragon off like ''I'm not going through pregancy again. Your turn''#Like he's not even SERIOUSLY suggesting Dragon do it (just refusing going through it again himself)#But then Dragon actually considders it#Innitially horrified by the thought but then figuring like. Crocodile went through it and survived. It can't be that bad can it#Dragon would have to learn the hard way just how Bad it would in fact be lmaooo#Also hey Dragon getting to experience Gender Dysphoria in Turbo Mode would give him like a better understanding of The Shit Croc went throu#He'd be able to understand Croc's feelings and appreciate what he put up with for their baby#Which would be great if they were actually getting back together after The Divorce etc etc#Also Croc would get to be a doting husband for his temporary-wife like he was meant to be and that's just great#Dragon flipflopping between horrible dysphoria and being head over heels for his mob boss husband being so gentle with him? Adorable#((Just for clarity this is not a critique of other people's idea of Dragodile Baby 2. I just wanted to share The Funnier Option))#((You know me I love two things; gut wrenching tragedies and comedy. That's it. The two genderdsdjfghsjkdfgh))
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omfg they killed him
#the future liberals want#lmao!!! i died when i saw this#local aquarium is having an animal crossing exhibit#i had so much fun and i am so spoiled#my two fave things the aquarium and animal crossing#but they also decorated for halloween and as soon as i saw this i was like… he’s dead… they killed him#animal crossing#acnh#acnh community#animal crosing new leaf#gulliver's travels#acnh gulliver#baby looked around with pure shock and disbelief before falling asleep and taking a fat nap#austin also got us behind the scenes tour so we were able to learn about how the aquarium functions#and how they feed the animals + personal tour#then he got us frozen yogurt i had the dairy free mango one and we ate it in the car as baby finished her nap#it was a beautiful day#OHHHH and we met THE kk slider and took pics with him#austin told him he was a huge fan
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anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before
#like it was one thing when i was in high school and college like wasn't socialized as a child due to not receiving schooling and growing up#sda blah blah whatever but like i'm almost 27 and i am barely functioning lol like i feel like i'm struggling to have a normal conversation#even more than i used to and i think my speech cadence is noticably off which i don't think it always has been#some of it is definitely from chronic exhaustion from having to get up too early and the stress of having a frequently panic inducing boss#but like. come on now. i can't even drive despite finally having a license because i'm too scared/distractible/poor reaction time#over a dozen antidepressants have not worked. adderall is not working great either#i'm SO much dumber than i used to be and it's driving me quite literally insane#i don't even think it's from getting covid in july because i was noticing it before although it definitely became way more noticeable after#i got this job. i've never been this bad at a job in my life and it's something anyone who knows me would assume i'd be good at#it's embarrassing. i cannot fucking remember anything i struggle to do the most basic of arithmetic to fill prescriptions i make the same#silly mistakes multiple times i am constantly asking stupid questions and still somehow fucking up all the time#it's not as bad as it was a couple months ago and frankly i'm shocked i haven't gotten fired i keep thinking that's going to happen#of course i wanted to quit this job four months ago but now i'm at like a sunk cost fallacy point unfortunately#this is obviously not like any kind of career position for many reasons but i don't know what else to do unless i move across the country#again. i'm not even qualified for anything besides animal related things and summer camp which are fine obviously but not great if you want#things like benefits or paid leave or not to get burned out as hell lmao#i don't even feel like i could do any customer service jobs because i literally struggle to put a coherent sentence together on the spot#everything is so slow. soooo slow i'm literally losing my mind which is catastrophic because my mind is all i've ever had going for me#and i'm having kind of a horrible existence lately which is exacerbating all my problems except the problems make it mostly impossible to d#anything to fix it. ok going out and doing some fun stuff for a day makes me feel better that's great. except then i need a day after that#to recover from doing things the previous day. so the only feasible day for doing things would be saturday. except on saturdays i'm#recovering from working. i literally only work 4 days and barely over 30 hours it's Not that crazy. i mean the boss is crazy and the job ca#also be crazy obviously but 30 hours a week is minimal compared to other work schedules i've maintained before#anyway but the most i can do after work is go to the store if i need to but i almost never have energy for anything fun#and the fucking bus doesn't run on sundays and walking miles to get literally anywhere takes a lot of energy i don't have#i'm about to move next weekend and i'm dreading it because it's going to be so much work and i'm so fucking tired#and i don't have any friends to help me with cleaning i might be able to get help moving my stuff but i'm not even confident about that#i might have to rent a uhaul but i would honestly rather pay somebody to help because i'm that scared of driving even for one 30 min trip#whatever....sorry i had to feel bad for myself in the tumblr dot edu tags again i'm not in therapy rn#(<- guy who should be in therapy)
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Things i desperately want for Project Zomboid:
Bicycles
A cat!!!
Roller Skates
Ladders!
Baby stroller or handcart to transport heavy things for short distances (mostly for lots of materials or furniture and such)
Cargo pants with pockets
Growing my hair veeeery long (and keeping it in a loooong braid)
Head lamp
Let me paint metal crates and cars!!!!!!!
I have more but these are the most functional ones i guess
#mine#project zomboid#pz#i also want a million aesthetic things like cowboy boots and cute decorations and dying fabrics and stuff#(well the fanric dying is not just arsthetic that would be useful to tell items apart and shit)#i think fabric dying is planned for the next build and i rly hope you can keep cats as part of the animal system#god being able to paint metal crates would be so useful#and i WISH painting crates would make them look different in the little tabs of the inventory window that would make things much easier!#like different coloured backpacks have different thumbnails too! i wish we could have that for closets and crates and such as well#also i wish i could preserve meat and fish for longer (i know there are mods but they all have way more functions complicated for me)#oh also i want a million more kinds of teddy bears and plants and wall decorations and things i can put in my house ;^;#making concrete would also be useful (i think it has been planned before cause there are concrete bags in game but u cant use them)#the fact that u can make stairs but not ladders is also annoying and reminds me of playing sims lol#okay i think thats all i have for now ill probably add to this post when i got more stuff to complain about lol#(dont get me wrong i love this game to bits but man i wish i could mod!!! i have so many ideas!!)
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currently at That Point which occurs once every few months where one briefly begins pacing around the house teary eyed contemplating selling their own organs or becoming an online scammer or getting on anxiety meds so you can bear the risk taking required to be a hitman or so on and so forth.... why must everything so Expensive... Surely all would be healed in life if only I had one big plate of lasagna and a simple loan of $40,000 ... auoughhh....
#And then you just eventually shrug and go 'welp. nothing i can do i guess' and sad cartoon music plays as you shuffle back to your room#It's just hard with my specific physical and mental issues since it's like.. I couldn't really handle most jobs. I can't handle school. I'm#100% aromantic and asexual so I'll never get married so I can't get money that way. I have too much issues with social cues#+ too nervous temperament + too low energy to put effort into lying and having a fake relationship just for money. so on and so forth etc.#Really I should have just been born into a middle class family. Which I guess everyone says. but ESPECIALLY considering my#chronic conditions kind of hampering my ability to function 'normally' or be Independent in a regular way. I'm always going to be#in some way sort of beholden to the whims of people around me who I must depend on. so... well of course they might as well have been rich#lol like that would have been better for me of course.#AAANyway... Just thinking about another stupid fucking climate change summer... months keep going by so fast.. soon it will be so again#And it's like such SMALL things would make drastic improvements for me. Literally if I just had a place with central AC#then like 75% of my issues with summer would vanish instantly. literally. But instead it's like.. having a cheap hot apartment + only#half functional dinky window ac + my illnesses that make me heat sensitive + living in a part of the country that keeps getting hotter +#inability to leave the house much meaning I can't just go spend time in a cooler place etc. all factors which combine together to make#it just utterly miserable for MONTHS and mentally draining. And literally ALL I would need to fix that is just...#have a place with central AC that works.. (or move to a colder country/area but that also takes money. Or just not have illnesses#that make me heat sensitive. but that I can't control). etc. etc. I guess it's just the nature of the constant background frustration of#being part of The Masses under our current manifestation of unmitigated capitalism. Such minor details would make such huge#quality of life improvements and yet will remain ever out of reach. ONE little thing could change your whole life but you can't even have#that. so many 'If only' scenarios. etc. And of course obviously I am incredibly thankful just to have anywhere to live at all. food to eat#. any sort of stability whatsoever no matter how fragile it feels/is. But that still doesn't make it not frustrating occasionally to look#around and see how relatively little would have to change in order for you to be a decent percentage more comfortable and yet#how still far away even those ''small'' seeming goals are. etc. etc.#Seriously think I've been traumatized by the summer or something somehow lol like thinking about it being warm weather eventually#makes me nauseous with panic. It's just SOOO much labor. micromanaging windows and fans and blocking every ounce of light#and not being able to cook (cant even afford a single degree of temp increase due to the stove) for months and barely being able#to sleep for months and the claustrophobia of days on end crawling out of your skin because it doesnt even get cool enough at#night to offer relief so you're just always feeling trapped.. hgrhh...#It starts getting hot here sometimes in May but mostly June then lasts through October now.. thats like half the year almost.. ARghhH#anyway... If any extremely rich person reading this would like to buy me an air conditioned house in exchange for multiple years worth#of art (I will paint murals on all of your grand dining halls and make all the custom sculptures you could ever want etc) then.. hewwo :'3c
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guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.
#I also had a conversation with my friend about if he had to wear a suit why would he#We discussed for a very long while(6 minutes) and the discussion was very enlightening#Slowly turning painis into a functional human in society…#Except you know he eats people that isn’t really stuff normal people do#this is a joke btw#I think he would pay his taxes but if the tax people are rude to him he wouldn’t#I think it really depends#Does he even have any taxes to pay? Because he doesn’t have a job I assume so he doesn’t have any money#But theoretically if he’s like working for another freak and he’s getting paid or something#Idk guys I might be going a little bit bonkers… he’s helping me get out of art block at least#Oh I hope all these tags don’t accidentally show up in another tag that would be bad I’ve seen that happen#I’ve already typed so much though#It’d be funny if there was painis angst because I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously because his name is penis basically#Why am I only saying painis I’m going to tag him anyway#Painis cupcake#there#alright anyways painis cupcake angst would be fucking hilarious imo#My professional opinion#Mmhmmm I’m a professional in being stupid#My friends will call me spedpool on hallowen#I took 2 yardsticks in stem and I pretended to be said guy in the red suit I don’t want to tag him because I don’t want someone to#Find this unhinged rant about painis cupcake that got way off track woah#Ok continuing on the painis rant#I can’t draw him with pencil for some reason he looks so weird#I can draw soldeir just fine with pencil probably even better than online but whenever I try to draw painis he looks like a pile of dog shi#A moist pile the kind that would make steam if it’s cold outside#I feel like it he tried painis cupcake would really be a great functional citizen#Oh wow I wrote a lot my bad
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Repulsed by the lack of quality wasp books in my library’s catalog. everything I’m seein’ is for CHILDREN and ITTY BITTY BABIES. I want them SCIENTIFIC wasp books I want to LEARN
#I want to break my brain with scientific descriptions of wasps and wasp behavior but nooooo#I’ve been very stagnant in my learning of scientific topics lately due to my inability to function properly—#—and I really wanna be able to Learn something for once#my brain is melting and I do not like it. I need to take advantage of this hyperfixation#it would benefit me in many ways#but NOOOO there are no good wasp books#what’s the point of living within walking distance of a library if they don’t have wasps#may as well burn the place down if there’s no quality bug books#also moths. want moth books#grins. I will be the bug expert of all time (I know NOTHING about bugs)
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SIMS 4 OC BUILDS: League of Villains Hideout
Here we have the undercover base for my devious gal Rin and her partner in crime - Dabi! The upstairs of their base is a ‘bar front’ similar to in the show, while the basement houses all her minions and herself! Original build was found on the gallery, but I updated the lot to suit my own needs!
Lookbooks: Ackermans || Rikihisas || Enatsu || Kyutoku || Olalias || Hatakes || ATLA || Ginnivan || Ishimoto
Builds: Saitama Loft || Sunset Cosy Cabin
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @bbrocklesnar @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @alexxmason @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @a-treides @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
#jess plays the sims#oc: rin kyutoku#otp: that’s hot (literally)#my sims#the sims#sims 4#sims 4 build#sims 4 screenshots#shout out to the original creator of the hideout!!#I used the shell of their build for my own purposes and obvs made some changes#but wouldn’t have be able to without them!!#and also yes there’s v little decoration cus Rin cbas with that#its function over fancy#especially for everyone’s rooms#she’d just say ‘be happy you have a bed’#they have a roof so I guess what more could they want haha#also dabi v rarely uses his room#he’s usually in her bed#Cus she got special sheets that don’t irritate his burns#but obvs didn’t tell him that#anyway hope you like!!#this is one of many bases she runs haha#but consider this her main one#the others are just safe houses
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Honestly could we throw out the idea that totk's story issue is that it isn't consistent with the lore of the older games but instead drops intresting world building from botw because it might have gotten actually dark
#seriously eveeyone keeps up bring up the triforce not being the same like the older games instead of HEY why DOES the royal family just.....#have it#like all of it#and was the sheikah tech from the last game that functions the same was as light arrows/the biden blast was uh#how do i put this#how did they weaponize lightmagic in robots and does this all tie in with the “banishment” thing#or idk dropped point from botw zelda's fucking chracter arc#i know it ended with LOOOK!!!! YOU FUCKED UP BY DOING WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS RIGHT#But damn they could of just not done that shit in totk making her just the#what was jt#idk man they just keep taking away her agency#man and it sucks cuz the dragon is so cool but mf shes forced to do it what she gonna do stay in the past and DIE?#idk man it just all feels hasty. makes me sad#and it sucks cuz a lot of shit shit is really cool and intresting but man idk i may become a botw zelda deserved a better weiter for her#becuase girl she needs a break. not saying chracters cant go through hardship#but there is something so nasty about the framing of youll never be anything but eveey past princess zelda trope and nothing more#instead of a crystal she turns into a dragon like guys this is the same as skyward sword but idk man is it werd to say#when Hylia does it aginst a thing that wants to steal the god triangles and is also a god its like yeah you had no other choice#how the fuck did one fuckass stone make ganondorf into a god like being you would think that like#mannwhy are the stones THAT powerful and why werent the other bitches able to take them down what because#did#did rauru give sonia the equivalent of the one ring at their wedding hey wait a fuck#sorry for all my spelling mistakes but what the fuck man
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Can any biology people explain to me (extremely heat-sensitive autistic) why I feel like I can't breathe when I overheat when it's not even that hot
(for context I'm Irish it's only 14°C out but it is sunny)
#about me#science tumblr help#also look im proud of my country and theres a lot i love about it but holy fuck i hate peoples attitudes when the weathers nice#people are so starved for the sun and heat here that when it comes its like how DARE YOU suggest that not everyone finds standing in the#baking sun comfortable#not everyone likes sweating through every layer of clothing#i get looked at weird for using a parasol and i know i need to get over the shame bc like#fuck you!! i want to be able to breathe!!#i want to maintain my mental functions!
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thinking still about how the Heart calls the Whalers 'puppets' and the amount of mystery there is around them, when playing as Corvo and perceiving them through the Heart, in comparison to how they are in reality.
we see them talk to each other in a manner any people would. they consider insubordination, they talk badly of Daud behind his back, we have Billie betray him. there are some that are loyal, yes, be it because they believe in Daud or because they see gain in this path, but by no means are they a monolyth.
however, we do hear from the Heart about a 'fog that surrounds them and hides their secrets' and it is even confirmed, by Billie (and also Galia in the books) that leaving Daud made them 'think clearly for the first time in years'
I've seen a couple theories and I do want to dive into each, to an extent.
there's the suggestion of the Heart talking badly of them, calling them mindless drones that only kill out of hatred and hurt. which, valid. the Heart also says certain things about Daud, 'why did you bring me here? do you expect me to forgive him?', so it's not unlikely that their attitude towards human lives and their willingness to kill for Daud is repulsive enough that the Heart does not see past it
another option is that the mindless puppets is more of a metaphor and is meant to talk about how the Whalers are, in a sense, a cult. which would be incredibly interesting to explore if we had more information on how the Whalers function. now I do want to point out that by cult I do not mean it in a Secluded Religious Organization but as a sociological thing. a literal cult if you will, with a leader that charms their followers, the seclusion and all the unhealthy attitudes of losing oneself to the group. and, that does check out - the loss of individuality, they are as one, following someone's orders without hesitation, someone they would die for. there are a lot of unsavory implications here (if you know how cults work, you probably had some cross your mind already), but arguably Daud is not charming enough to be a proper cult leader. the appeal is the magic, and his excellent skills as an assassin and a leader. maybe it's because of the time we see the Whalers at, right before a collapse, but Daud is regularly doubted and we see a lot of insubordination. the Whalers are not necessarily loyal to him because of who he is as a person. they want the power, they want the influence, maybe the protection, and the things keeping them from disobeying are fear, rather than loyalty.
the third thought or theory is, then, that many of these symptoms can be explained by the influence of the Void. we know the Void affects people, both physically as we see with Delilah's Witches or the Eyeless, as it influences them mentally, if the high numbers of people going mad because of their worship are something to go by. if, then, the Whalers are bound to the Void through Daud, it only makes sense that they would be influenced by this link to something that messes with people's brains. Galia saying she feels better after her Arcane Bond faded could easily mean that the influence the Void had on her has faded, and the creeping madness of it has subsided significantly.
all of these most likely come into play. one of the Heart's lines in dh2, if we point at a Witch, is reciting some of the recipes the Witches chant before quickly apologising. we do learn significantly more about them than we do about the Whalers, of course, possibly because Jessamine has more ill will towards the Whalers than to the Witches. still we see the Void affect the Heart. there is also a notion that the Witches are 'not quite human' due to their Arcane bond.
there's no real conclusion. it's just interesting
#li.txt#dh#dishonored#dishonored whalers#I cant stop thinking about this#and since Ive been pointed to 'whalers as a proper cult' Ive been thinking about it#I have a soft spot for cults as a phenomenon i think its very interesting how they function and the things that drive them to function#its really hard to explainwhat i mean without going into proper details on this#and like i dont think theres enough info about how the whalers functioned during their golden days?#to be truly able to tell how things were?#like if it was just a regular organization or if it was Proper Cult with all the unsavory practices that keep people in there#definitely against the 'mindless puppets' bs theyre still v much people#but i wonder like. how much did the arcane bond affect them#we know that it makes them arrogant#and they were already not too kind people before joining daud#i mean who would join the most famous assassin in dunwall without being into murder?#(i think this characterization suffers also because tehres just way less lines about characters in dh than in dh2)#anyways daud is not charismatic enough to be a proper cult leader and in this essay I will---#i did in fact not write about it at all lol but if people have questions I want to answer them#i really want to talk about the whalers actually#ngl should just sleep on this and post it later but nah yolo
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