#Humans are Friend Shaped

[nart-is-a-monster]

I told my beloved @pinkwindowwithin to draw them like this and we went straight to a magma

This was inspired by this picture

And the original artists of that is:

And they have a Tumblr!! @mikarons (sorry for the tag)

Definitely go and check them out his art is absolutely beautiful!

[adragonthatwrites]

I think, in our desire to make Shen Qingqiu a little guy who loves monsters in fics (very good, wonderful, we love this, BUT), we have missed the opportunity to make him the monster in the AU. I raise to you:

LiuShen Naga AU, where Shen Qingqiu is the naga.

Monster hunter/supernatural pest control guy Liu Qingge who gets called to a small rural town because there's some sort of monster about. The locals have not sighted it, but the behavior of their livestock and sudden dip in wildlife population indicates some sort of large, likely supernatural predator has moved in.

This can be modern AU or cultivator AU! The only important thing is this; nagas are not something Liu Qingge would normally deal with. They're huge and incredibly dangerous, with extraordinary stealth skills. If a naga's around you, you won't know it unless they want you to, and by that point it'll be too late. Their venom is also legendary. So whatever the context of the AU; a naga is something above Liu Qingge's roster of things he'll go after, simply because while bullheaded, he is not suicidal.

So, Liu Qingge investigates the mountains, but finds almost nothing to suggest the kind of beast he suspects to be there. He makes several trips over the course of several days, each time going deeper and deeper into the mountains beside the small village. He finds what he thinks are signs of something there, though he doesn't recognize exactly what could have made them (nagas are very solitary and exceptionally rare, and signs of their presence difficult to find or identify. Liu Qingge has never encountered one before this, nor is he expecting to, so he doesn't recognize up the signs for what they are)

The moment of realization comes when he's deep, deep into the mountains one evening and stumbles upon an odd object on the ground. Large, green, slightly translucent. He lifts it, and feels his blood run cold as he sees the pattern of massive scales and realizes he's holding the shed of a naga.

A fully grown naga, who absolutely knows he's here. Who's den he's probably standing dangerously close to, if there's a shed. A naga who, undoubtedly, has been watching him for the better part of his time searching these mountains, without him ever realizing it.

His heads whips around, searching the area around him. He's been allowed to move within and leave the territory unimpeded thus far; he may be able to get out now, provided the naga hasn't realized how close he's gotten to it's den. If he moves quickly...

It's at that moment his eyes catch on a shadow, falling strangely on the forest floor. He pauses, eyes faltering, before with a sudden harsh chill he finds himself starring directly into a pair of vibrant green eyes with sharp slit pupils. He can just make out the shape of a massive emerald green naga crouched in the underbrush, less than a hundred feet away from him.

And he feels the rush of cold harsh terror only experienced by a prey animal suddenly realizing it's in the sights of a predator.

[nihildenial]

how i react everytime i see a cat and it runs away before i can pet it

[stubz]

"I think Kim and Max had a fight."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well they aren't sitting together for lunch."

"That's not that strange, humans actually need alone time from one another. Even if they're as close as Kim and Max."

"Yes but while swinging by I noticed they both have bruises on them."

"Again that is not strange. They work in the youngling centre, remember? Everyday I find a new scratch, bruise, or bitemark on them. Once Max had an acid burn from a Vasid."

"But some looked like human hand prints. Adult human hand prints."

"...why would they fight though? They share the same territory, they have bonded over many cycles, they are not courting the other, why would they fight?"

"I heard humans fight for fun against one another, perhaps that is it?"

"But look, they are not happy with the other."

"...should we ask?"

"Do you have voids for brains? You can't just ask a being why they fought their pack mate!"

"With humans you can!"

"Fine. Who do we ask?"

"Kim because we can climb out of her reach fastest." the beings swung over to a grumpy Kim and dropped down into the chairs beside her.

"Hello human Kim."

"We were wondering what happened to you." they gestured with their claw the numerous bruises on her wrists and forearms.

"Max happened. Damn cheater."

"..."

"...He did this??? But why??"

"Because he's a damn cheat!!" the human yells meeting the other human's glare from across the room.

"I did not you sneaky little shit!!" the human male bursts up knocking over his chair

"My hand was on first!"

"Your stubby ass little pinky is not your hand!" the humans meet in the middle nose to nose.

"IT WAS BELOW YOUR'S!!"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER! IT WAS A PINKY VERSUS A DAMN HAND!!"

"ENOUGH! WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?!" yells Geld shoving them apart with his many appendages. "What is this nonsense about hands and being first?"

"..."

"..."

"Well? We're waiting!"

"...we were playing Slap Jack." Max mumbles.

"We got...pretty into it." Kim adds looking at her feet.

"Who is Jack and why are you slapping him?! What is it with you humans and your games?!" Geld cries horrified.

"I think I have heard of this one! It is a game of cards where you need to hit a card called Jack. It uses your speed and sight quite well, yes? For you have to hit the card before your opponent?"

"...you received this," Geld grabs Max's arm to look at a bruise in the shape of fingers on his forearm. "from a game???"

"Kim tried to wrestle the pile from me." he smirks.

"And you received this from it as well?" Haq points to Kim's swollen thumb knuckle.

"Max was milliseconds from slapping it first and smashed my thumb to the table." she grins.

"Why are you happy?!" the two cried.

"Because it was a good game."

"Yeah, that was a great comeback you had."

"Sorry about your thumb."

"No worries, sorry about your arm."

"Eh, nothing a free lunch won't heal."

"Well next time I'll be winning that free lunch." and as the two humans walked off to eat lunch Geld and Haq watched in horror at how the human race could declare war against one another so easily while playing a game.

[not-an-alien-scientist]

Human: Hi Buddy!! AWWW DRAGON! COME ON DRAGON!! *gives all the pets*

Alien: ..... that is a carnivore that can bite at 1,100 psi force .... why are you calling it buddy

Human: Oh hooo hoo what is that *scritches* huh?

Hyena: *jumps*

Alien: *alarmed* !!!!!!

Human: >:( no you can't have the camera

[cuprohastes]

Visit Strange new worlds and… Pet the Hardware.

Ok we all remember Vice Admiral Stabby the Space Roomba. Well all know that as soon as humans come up with an AI that we’re reasonably sure is sentient, we’re going to give it human rights and make it pay taxes.

So imagine the non-human survey team giving their assigned Human some funny looks. They’re there to carry things and do Human Stuff, which apparently means occasionally talking to the non-AI hardware and sometimes patting it.

Which is funny. Does the human know that this thing has hardly enough computing power to justify a power cell? Is this that Human Pack Bonding thing?

But an astute observer might notice that the Human seems to have developed machine empathy and will occasionally note that there’s a failure happening before it happens.

Or they’ll suddenly pause and do that funny face thing and go “Oh that’s not good” and hit stop… and hey yeah look, there’s something in there, let me just…

How do they know?

After a while, the people who work with the machines start patting them or that odd little grooming thing that humans do with inanimate objects. They start talking… and listening.

“Huh. You can actually hear when the suction line misses” says the B-Shift operator.

The A-Shift operator agrees. “I can feel when there’s sand got into the bearings. You just have to…” they mime running their lower hand along a console.

Worse, now the oprators are talking to their machines. Asking what’s wrong and discussing their job like they’re sentient. They swear it actually works. The statistics show fewer breakdowns and faster repairs.

All the Human will say is: “Rubber Ducking”.

[marzipanandminutiae]

dolls are for that moment when you look over at one and their beautiful little face brings you such joy that everything feels alright

[marlynnofmany]

Friend-shaped

“She’ll want to pet it,” said a smug voice from the next room. “Humans will pet anything.”

“Even spiky things?” asked the skeptical voice that I recognized as Zhee. “I’ve never had a human want to pet me, and this thing is much worse.”

As curious as I was to see our newest cargo and judge for myself, I first had to finish setting out food for the animals in the next bay. I lugged in bags of dried pellets and fish jerky as the door slid shut behind me, cutting off the sound of Zhee insisting to the delivery person that there was no way under several suns that I would want to touch this new mystery animal. We’d see about that.

I stashed the pellets in the appropriate closet and pulled out a sheet of jerky for each of the three fangy monstrosities that twined around each other, trying to hypnotize me through the bars. I ignored the moving pattern of stripes that probably worked on prey from their world. Working quickly, I set the sheets down on the floor outside the cage, spaced as far apart as possible, then used a gravity wand to lift them through the bars without losing a finger. Left one, right, one, then the middle, to keep the beasties from all jumping on the same treat.

A chorus of happy growls and chewing noises filled the air. Success. I put away the gravity wand and reflected that I absolutely would have liked to scritch all three terrifying predators on the head, but I valued life and limb too much for that.

On to the next room! The doors opened and closed in quick succession. I passed other people loading and uploading various crates, but I only had eyes for the terrarium that looked like it was made of force fields instead of glass. Or maybe some room-temperature version of hard water, given that the person chatting with Zhee was a Waterwill. They had some pretty bizarre tech.

“Ah, here’s the human!” the Waterwill said happily, her voice burbly and vaguely female. “What do you think of your newest live cargo?” She extended what passed for an arm from her column-of-goo body. Beside her, Zhee spread purple pincher arms in a silent display of “ta-dah.”

Inside the tank I saw rocks, sand, a puddle of algae, and the ugliest little ball of snot and spikes that I had ever encountered. Protruding eyes struggled to focus on me like a wall-eyed Chihuahua that had rolled through the most unfortunate of trash piles.

“Wow,” I said, bending down for a closer look. “That’s an animal, all right.”

The Waterwill bobbed up and down. “And is it not, as you say, cutesy-wootsy?”

Zhee made various clicks and taps that were probably skepticism. I couldn’t blame him.

“Well,” I said, struggling for a tactful answer, “It sure is a little one. Looks a bit scared.”

“They always get twitchy when they’re moved around before egg-laying,” the Waterwill said with a dismissive wobble. “It’ll settle down when everybody stops walking by. It’s non-toxic. Maybe once it’s calm—”

The rest of her sentence was cut off by loud snarls from next door, carrying through the hall while both doors were open at the same time. It sounded like a brief squabble over fish jerky, no cause for alarm.

For me, anyway. The animal in the terrarium made a piercing squeak and tried to burrow under the rock, its spines growing visibly longer and flinging droplets of moisture as it trembled violently.

“Oh, that’s bad,” said the Waterwill, all cheer gone. “It could sour the eggs. Everybody be quiet! Move slowly!” She waved two armlets at the other people carrying boxes, who did as she asked.

Zhee was making a whistle that was probably a curse in his own language, or maybe someone else’s. “We’ll get blamed for egg troubles. Would dim light help? I’ll hit the controls.” He moved off on quiet bug legs.

“What else helps?” I asked. “Wait, there’s a manual for this, right?” Without waiting for a response, I unfolded a screen from my pocket and looked for the newest files. There it was. Easily searchable, too.

While I spent a moment on that, the room dimmed and quieted into a soothing nighttime. The other crewmates grabbed the remaining crates, left, and shut the door. I heard someone say to leave oncoming boxes in the hallway for the moment.

“It’s still stressed,” the Waterwill said. “We should have brought another one to soothe it!”

“Hang on, I found the sound files,” I said. “Here’s the soothing one.” At the press of a button, a brief gurgle played, then cut off. “That’s it?”

The animal turned toward me, then back to the rock. No change.

I asked the Waterwill, “I don’t suppose you can make that sound?” When she hesitated, I tried myself. Hard to do without any water around to gargle, but I managed an awkward warble in the back of my throat.

The animal’s shivering stilled.

“Keep doing that!” the Waterwill said with an urgent wave.

I did, feeling silly. But the animal liked it. The trembling ended, and the spines started to retract. When I paused for breath, the creature held perfectly still, then when I started again, the spines continued shortening. After a few moments, it was a slimy ball of green with eyes that stuck out, and soon enough those finally closed. When they opened again, they weren’t bulging any more.

A head lifted from the goo, with a cute little face that chirped curiously.

“Aw, look at you,” I said to it. “All calm and happy.”

It oozed over towards me, moving much like Waterwills did, without any legs. It nuzzled a hatch that I hadn’t noticed in the side of the tank.

“You said it’s non-toxic, right?” I asked, not waiting for a response. I’d skimmed the manual. The hatch opened easily for me to stick my hand in and stroke the slimy little head. It purred like a babbling brook.

“Told you,” said a voice behind me.

Zhee hissed.

I turned to see him handing over credits with a displeased tilt to his antennae. “Did you just lose a bet?” I laughed.

Zhee threw his pincher arms into the air. “It was covered in spikes! No fair changing shape like that.”

“Well, if we’re going to be fair,” I said. “I would have sacrificed a hairbrush to pet it through the spikes, if it liked that kind of thing.”

“Of course you would,” Zhee muttered.

“Righto,” the Waterwill said as she stuck the credits into a wallet pouch that floated among her other miscellaneous bits. “I can see it’s in good care here. Guess I’ll be off.”

I gave the creature one last stroke, then eased my hand out and closed the hatch, waiting to make sure it stayed calm. When it settled back into goo, I stood and joined the other two in soft-footing our way to the door. “I’ll keep an eye on it,” I promised.

“And a hand,” Zhee grumbled.

“I’ve petted worse,” I told him.

“I’m sure you have,” he said. “And I don’t want to hear about it.”

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character of this book. More to come!

[phoenixcatch7]

Man, I want shapeshifter cap SO BAD.

I want to see a Billy that really leans into the wonder of the world, the million paths a child could take in their life.

I want to see a Billy that wants to try everything, at least once.

A Billy that looks at all the people who spit at him, deride him, pity him, dismiss him, ignore him, because he has no future, no prospects, a child in the gutter and say no. I'm going to grow up to be whoever I want to be.

And a captain marvel that says you're going to be amazing.

Billy taking the premise of captain marvels form - his ideal self, a blank slate for Billy to paint his bright colours, the person he wants to be deep inside - and dialling that freedom up to eleven.

A dancer, a dinosaur, a train conductor, a tiger, an ice cream maker, a butterfly, an astronaut, a shark, a college student, a Tamaranean, a mouse, a scuba diver, an elephant, a doctor, a moose, a race car driver, a dog.

A child wanting to see the world.

If you want to find captain marvel, well first you've got to try his comm, probably a couple times.

Then you've got to go to fawcett, hope he's there and not saving the yetis from a salamander invasion in a different dimension.

You've got to ask around, because it often goes by word of mouth here, no matter what technology you bring. Don't worry, it'll spread very quickly, but if you're in a hurry you can find his commemorative statue and leave an offering. No one knows if it really works, but it's a good way to pass the time and feel productive.

Soon, a face will peel out of the crowd. It's always familiar, but it's never the same one.

Wait for the flash of lightning in a cloudless sky.

And then you will find captain marvel.

[badly-gravity-blog]

If you're willing to share, can I see some of your fan kids? :D I absolutely adore fan kids!!

My first asks is about my gremlins — i couldn’t be happier thank you so much !

I’m working on a post with one of them :3

Currently I have two kids only !

- Mags, short for Magpie because Dipper -> bird muaha… BillDip Kid !

- Sigh. Bloodthor Maximillius Mandelbrot, nicknamed Mandel or Mandy or hell feel fancy and call him Max…. BillFord atrocious kid.

Refs rrrright under, my soggy boys 💕

[english-history-trip]

Some more truly baffling denizens of the margins of the 14th century Luttrell Psalter.

[averlym]

smth smth red queen ?

[playeroftapes]

Happy thwack him Thursday

[mango-sideburns]

My fav thing about TAZ is that any aspect out of context sounds fucking bonkers.

Like, in the balance finale there's a scene in which Garfield (who is very specifically never described visually bc most people imagine him as like. The Lasagna Cat. Who in this universe is the most powerful warlock in the realm and also has a hobby of cloning people, which is great for the one character that got forced into haunting a mannequin) is summoned by an alien spaceship that runs on the power of friendship so he could beat up some flashing balls. In D&D.

And that was just. Such a normal scene in the narrative. No one blinked an eye. I would like to bow down to Griffins clear unmatched talent for making me feel such big emotions over ridiculous shit like a goddamned umbrella or a regular ass pair of jeans or the idea of a taco recipe.

[thecosmiccrow]

my son says hi

HOLY SHIT IS THAT A TRIMMING FROM THE HIT ANALOGUE HORROR YOUTUBE SERIES VITA CARNIS? IM SUCH A BIG FAN!

this is my mimic drawing uh. im posting him again but im allowed to because i spent 13 hours on him

[whimsicallywiddershins]

I'm watching the new Natsume Yuujinchou season, and I am really noticing how different Natsume's eyes look compared to everyone else's. All the other human characters have round pupils, even when they are startled, but Natsume has cat-slit pupils, no matter what he is feeling. When he is suprised, they narrow, but even when calm, his pupils are not round.

It's such a subtle difference, especially because his coloring isn't that unusual (unlike the manga) but it's noticeable and makes him feel different than the other humans. I can only imagine other people subconsciously pick up on it, and its just one more thing that isolated him from people when he was growing up.