#How liberating. I am become god

[leconcombrerit]

When struggling with a scene in a multiple pov's fic, switch the goddamn pov and watch every problem fly away like a beautiful little butterfly

[searchingforserendipity25]

it's a good thing conclave didn't waste any time on making the stories about catholic orders and their in-fighting. and probably i shouldn't either because i am not informed enough about it to go on at length. pls take all of this w a grain of salt.

but i know in my heart of hearts that aldo bellini is a progressive liberal jesuit, the holy father's specialest most progressive liberal italian-american jesuit.

look at him. look at his glasses. those are the glasses of a man who did his dissertation on reinterpreting loyola through a contemporary reformist lens. academic wunderkid. has sooo much beef w the editors of american jesuit weekly. possibly the events of conclave are occurring in a better more beautiful world where aldo bellini is the editor of american jesuit weekly.

the late holy father for sure was a progressive jesuit also. vr pope francis coded. and low-key set him up as a successor. for a while, that seemed nearly a sure thing in some circles.

but there is the fact. well. the fact that everyone is tired, done and tired of jesuits, progressive or otherwise.

this among other factors meant he couldn't consider him the best option, besides whatever character judgement and uncanny machievallien prediction he came up with.

adeyemi has that benedictine swag which makes his potential election particularly seem like a breath of fresh air + reliable + lots of influence. tremblay is giving dominican drip and dominican corruption. and dominican flop. his nespresso machine? it's giving dominican also.

tedesco has to be an italian-founded order member. most hypocrital salesian of all times maybe?? this is unrelated to the fact that i was nearly enrolled in a salesian primary school and the weirdly panopticon-ish playground didn't pass the vibe check. and also because: consider tedesco rising in the ranks of an order created to help migrant workers...someone kick him in the head for me pls.

who even knows about benítez. i want to say franciscan but that might be just too on the nose. cistercian?? honestly it would work well if he is also without affiliation.

this lens does make lawrence's homily being interpreted as a campaign speech more understandable (and particularly funny).

because, as far as anyone can tell, he's fully running as an independent candidate. zero platform besides - if i fuck up i'll apologize and do better and be held accountable, which is more than any of you probably would.

and because he stands alone, he can be held accountable. he can belong to all, and not one faction only. as far as anyone can tell, he's burning bridges with bellini and rocking the status quo.

he is speaking to/from a place of frustration with institutional inertia and factionalism, he is using his position as dean to bravely promote a platform for internal change in the curia, he is offering doubt as an alternative to certainty, he is pulling an absolute wildcard move.

pity he didn't mean it.

pity the the only order lawrence is interested in joining is the most hardcore discalced carmelite experience possible.

you know how some people look into luxurious real estate listings like it's porn? that's lawrence w tiny monasteries. the sort of minuscule organization with not enough people for management to be necessary. too small for politics. as close to erasure as you can get in this world: no need to be useful.

serving god by existing only to meditate on him. a narrow slant of a life, at that. barely taking up space, barely casting a shadow.

his favorite is a decrepit wreck of a place in the middle of southern spain, nowhere. no wifi no speaking aloud no possessions. no shoes no food. no nothing, only prayer. and a big big sky overhead.

maybe that will fix his issues with reaching god. if that doesn't work he'll probably just wander into the tabernas desert and become an hermit. works for some people, supposedly; plenty of order founders seem to believe so, anyway.

[bamsara]

I dont know if it was intentional but I love that Narinder when he sees Lamb throwing up he turns gentle and pushes their wool and ears back so they dont get stained with vomit and for some reason it reminded me of how when Nari was throwing up too after the nightmare he had when they were on route to fight Leshy, Lambert helped him with camellias for the nausea.

Ahh, parallels. I think.

IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THAT OUT allow me to ramble for just a moment.

Narinder was trapped in the Afterlife for over 1000 years, with little social skills and plagued by wishing for vengeance and his only company being two kittens who become disciples under his rule. He has terrible social skills, if not lacking them entirely.

(I would argue that Aym and Baal also have horrific nonexistent social skills, so those three cat's can't really help each other communicate properly to anyone else outside themselves.)

It can be argued that since The One Who Waits had other vessels to pass time and try to kill /annoy his siblings before the prophesized Lamb arrival, that he would have developed them a little bit more, but I would argue that the power balance would have been oodles more severe since the vessels weren't the promised one. He didn't need them, so if they no longer were of service or disobeyed him, he got rid of them. Whether just sending them out or killing them, any how.

Lamb, however, knows they are the last Lamb, the prophesized liberator of The One Who Waits, and therefore his only option. They knew that they were his only reasonable way out of there (whether they asked for it or not) so they were oodles more comfortable than how a professional relationship would have been.

So they asked questions, bothered him, played and ran around him. Complained and vented to him. Yapped and yapped. What is he gonna do? Kill them? Find a new vessel? He can't. "You're as trapped into this prophecy as much as I am, so let's be friends"

Example parts from Chapter 3:

The power balance equalizes because Lamb did not see his presence a God, but rather a fellow prisoner and victim of fate. Rude and demanding, but in the same chains as they were. 'My lord' was simply formalities at first.

This puts Narinder / The One Who Waits in social situations he hasn't been in (or hardly been in) in over a thousand years, and frankly, he had no idea how to navigate them:

Example from Chapter 5:

The God of Death has not needed to comfort or 'be there' for someone in a long, long time. The Lamb's presence is what forces him to try, even if his first attempt aren't perfect. So in that same chapter, he'll ask them a question to distract them. Conversation. Like how they do it.

While I won't post a screenshot of everytime this happens in written format (not including the dreams/memories/flashbacks that haven't been posted yet)-

The One Who Waits is pushed outside of his bubble when it comes to socializing in a way that isn't just 'God-to-Lowly-Vessal' format. He has to talk to them like a person, because he's being talked to like a person, not a god on a pedestal.

Obviously after the final battle and betrayal (to both of them, otherwise known as the Grand Miscommunication) this means nothing for a while as tempers are still high and feelings are hurt. But overtime, this returns, and can show in small ways (ways that may not seem like comfort but is certainly an attempt) like just in Chapter 18:

Trying to bring them an 'offering' (breakfast) mirroring other times the Lamb has done the same for him:

Crudely offering to replace something they are upset at losing/later offering reassurance abet in a curt way:

And what you mentioned: earlier when the Lamb is throwing up, narration shows they're having trouble with keeping their wool, cloak, bell, ect all back at the same time. He can see that. He has a mental boiling pot explosion over the fact that helping them is even a want that he has after the denial crisis he's experiencing where the only answer a minute ago seemed like he needed to kill them, and he chose comfort.

It is intentional. Narinder is learning how to show care, and allowing himself to show care. Slowly, and not perfect, but learning.

[cultkinkcoven]

saw this post in r/luciferianism and thought it relevant to share my response here because this is a question I see asked very often.

Doesn’t Lucifer hate being worshipped?

In my experience, no. Not really.

First of all, Lucifer very much is a Lord. He is the God of illumination and enlightenment, He is the Lord of Thaumiel, he is the keeper of the draconian current, the hidden gnosis, he is the liberator, he is the morning star. He is Venus. and he is very much worthy of Godly respect. He is no less powerful nor influential. He very much qualifies for the title of Lord, even if he doesn’t subscribe to the idea of supremacy.

To worship Lucifer though, is not to place yourself below him. Lucifer is my patron and I am his devotee. I am a human and he is a God. We are fundamentally different creatures, that doesn’t mean there isn’t respect or equality between us. Lucifer does not demand or even expect worship. That’s why choosing to actively worship him, set time aside for him, create an altar for him, is so important and dear to him. On the complete contrary, Lucifer doesn’t hate being worshipped by his devotees. He has always seemed beyond honoured and touched that people revere him enough to choose to do so.

Worshipping the Christian God is a responsibly. But when I worship Lucifer it isn’t because I think I have to or because he asked me to. I paint him a picture because I think he’d like it, I offer him an apple because I’m thinking of him. I pray to him because I want to be closer to him. When I worship Lucifer, I also worship myself. In order to worship him, I have to embody his principles, and he is the God of self worship. Taking the effort to actively form a relationship with him in recognition of his divinity whilst also not discounting your own is the key. We don’t worship Lucifer because he’s a God and we think he’s better than us, we worship Lucifer because Lucifer is wonderful, and being in his presence is enjoyable. When I refer to Lucifer as my God and my King, I am not referring to myself as his slave.

There is something incredibly beautiful about consensual authority and leadership, especially when it comes to Lucifer. Bending to a God out of fear is worlds different than surrendering to a God out of trust and admiration.

Lucifer doesn’t hate being worshipped because the act of worship in itself is bad- because it’s not. Lucifer hates bondage (not the bdsm kind lol) and forced worship. Lucifer hates spiritual slavery, the Christian God refers to his people as his slaves. Lucifer would never tell someone that worshipping him is mandatory. But choosing to worship, wanting to worship him as a God and enjoying the act of worship in itself is not in any way offensive to him. In fact it is one of the greatest compliments a human can give.

There is power is deciding to surrender to a God and trusting in their leadership. Lucifer is not a tyrant, but he absolutely is a leader. Following his lead is exactly what he wants us to do, regardless of if we call him God or not. In my opinion, a devotee and a deity are equals in that relationship, even if they are not equal in stature. My role as the human who does the worshipping, tends the altar, heads the messages, and his role as the God who provides insight, directs, and leads, are intrinsic to the dynamic we have. Submission is not inherently degrading. On the contrary, purposeful devotion has been one of my most powerful sources of confidence and pride. My relationship with Lucifer has only continued to flourish as I’ve become more comfortable with worshipping him as my God. I look UP to him, literally, because he is in the sky. He’s a God. He looks down to me because I am a human. But we meet eachother’s eyes, that’s all that matters.

I am a God in my own right, worthy of respect, freedom and autonomy, just like Lucifer. But I am also very much human, and compared to how ancient he is, I very much am a child. This doesn’t mean that I infantilize myself in comparison to him, that is something he would actually hate. It means that I trust in my God’s direction as a God because I understand and respect that he does know more than me. We are equals in concept but not in practice. Once you heal your relationship with authority and allow healthy leadership to support you in your life omg deity work and witchcraft and life in general are going to become so much easier for you.

I do call Lucifer Lord often, but he only ever actually tells me to call him Lord when I’m acting like a brat. Not to speak down to me, not because he’s the boss of me, but to remind me who he is. I’m not talking to my imaginary friend, I’m talking to Lord Lucifer, the God that I felt so protected and inspired by that I devoted my eternal soul to him. I can dislike or disagree with what he says all I want. The fact that I have recognized him as Lord means I already know that he’s probably right and there’s probably a good reason why he’s telling me whatever he’s saying.

tldr: I personally have had no problem calling Lucifer Lord and worshipping him, but he’s also not going to have a problem with anyone not doing that. Likewise, I doubt we would tell anyone not to worship him unless it was in a way that was degrading.

[vesora]

there is no past

ive been avoiding making posts because all the info u need is already posted but i saw making this post in a 'dream' so might as well

so what exactly is the past? it is an event or experience that precedes the present time.

however if you have been in the loa community for long you may have realised that the only time that exists is now. i had mentioned this briefly in a previous post but i will expand.

the past and the future are concepts made up of thought and false identification. there is essentially no proof of your past existing except from in your mind. therefore how can we be extremely sure that the past actually exists and it's not something we made up?

there is no difference between an 'imagined' past and a past you think you experienced. they both exist in the mind. it is your false identification with an illusory past that makes you believe that what you see in the '3D' is real, when in fact if you choose your 'past' to be different, the '3D' will 'change' accordingly. this is why neville introduced the topic of revision. everything in this world is malleable. the only reason you see the world as solid is because you assume it's solid. if you believed it was liquid, then it would be liquid. there are no objective facts in this world, only what YOU as the creator deems to be true.

isn't this incredibly liberating? nothing from your past holds you back, because it doesn't exist except in your mind! and guess what? YOU are in control of your mind so you can have your desired past where you experience the things you want to and which reflect on the present day.

every moment is a moment you can start afresh. every new moment is a moment you are liberated from your subconscious habits. destroy what you do not want to experience and let it be destroyed. do not come back to it, it does not exist. maybe your ego wants you to revisit it and you become trapped in the clutches of your own mind and your reality becomes a prison, but how silly is that for a God? when you wish to paint, you gather acrylics or watercolours and buy some brushes but without the action of you painting, the canvas remains empty. it remains as it was before because you did not decide to paint. you just stared at the canvas just wishing, hoping, it would change. there is no such thing as 'inspired' action or any of that law of attraction BS. what i am talking about is the act of DECIDING and ACCEPTING that YOU are the painter and the world is your canvas.

don't fall into the trap of just reading posts and understanding it intellectually, apply it. there is literally nothing holding you back, NOTHING. the human body cannot manifest but YOU can. the habits, memories, and thoughts of the mind are illusory. YOU have the power to choose what you want to experience by consciously identifying yourself as the person you wish to be and identify yourself as the life you wish to live. there is no duality, you ARE it now.

although we have said it countless times, leave the world alone. it only listens to your command. it does not exist without you being aware of it, so why not choose to be aware of something you desire? why not choose to be aware of a different past?

there is nothing to do except realise that the human body-mind is illusory. it cannot hold you back. it cannot MAKE you experience something you, as the creator, do not want to.

be free! you are in control. there is nothing outside of you. all is happening within you. you have an abundance of joy and resources within you, access it. live a life you deserve. take life easy. have fun with the human experience. be your own anchor and be grounded in your own power as god.

[durgeapologist]

Omg your blog is such a relief. Every day I feel more and more like I want to distance myself from about 80% of the Solavellan community bc I am telling you it is ROUGH being into the egg and wanting to talk about him but being surrounded by people who think that everyone and their mother is out to get them. Meanwhile someone can come up with valid criticisms about how Lavellan's characterization was handled in VG and get swarmed with unsolicited opinions about solrook shippers and accusations of misogyny. I also see them running around in posts that are clearly marked as "Critical" And half the time when I CAN talk to them about Solas it's like they aren't even talking about the same character I am? They want him to be some helpless little abuse victim who isn't responsible for anything he does??? Why are we redeeming him if he did nothing wrong? What would be the point? We love him because he's fucked up and a manipulative bastard but also complex???? Did we play the same game girlies???

i have been staring at this ask since it came in trying to find a normal way to respond to you anon i will be so fr rn so i am so sorry it's taken a few hours

i’ll start with this:

“Why are we redeeming him if he did nothing wrong?”

full stop. this. so much. (i am in love with you anon) why is there a atonement/redemption ending if he did nothing wrong? (you’re literally so real) solas has done horrendous things. like genuinely abhorrent. (i crave to be your friend so bad anon) he is a genocidal, serial killing, manipulative lying cunt. to say the least. AND THAT IS WHY I LOVE HIM. he has such complex characteristics that make him so intriguing. he wants to be a good person. but he doesn’t really know how to be genuine. he is riddled with guilt and regret. he feels BAD about the things he has done. but he doesn’t want to face his mistakes. he knows he has done absolutely terrible things in the name of his people and their liberation, things most of them never asked him to do. some even asked him to NOT DO THOSE THINGS. did he listen? of course not! this is solas we are talking about. arrogant, prideful, calculating solas.

“They want him to be some helpless little abusive victim who isn’t responsible for anything he does.”

yes. yep. THIS SO BAD. (genuinely let me be your friend pls i am on my knees begging) the dynamic between solythal gets convoluted by most solasmancers because of three things: misogyny, jealousy, and ignorance. was there abuse? yeah. not denying that. was there only abuse? no. mythal was a victim of abuse herself. the way she learned to love, she passed down to solas. BOTH were victims of abuse who did terrible, no good, awful things. BOTH were also extremely powerful, omnipotent, and power-hungry individuals. mythal's hunger for power showcased differently than solas' and was amplified (IMO) by elgar'nan whispering in her ear. solas had felassan to keep him in check.

i am of the UPMOST certainty that had solas not taken down the evanuris the way he did and went to sleep after creating the veil, he would have become another tyrant ruling over the elven people. (THE MASKED EMPIRE ANYONE? HELLO? HELLOOOOO?) also anyone who says she was his MOTHER or SISTER?? god please drown me. put me in a tub and hold my head under water. that was his PARTNER AND HIS LOVER. i cannot with the takes that she raised his ass COME ON. i have sooooo much more to say about this dynamic and the themes of abuse AND how solasmancers twist it to make her this most evil, vile, horrible woman; but i would like to keep some of my followers tbh (anon i am frothing at the mouth if you want to discuss this further i beg you to dm me) so we shall move on.

"...valid criticisms about how Lavellan's characterization was handled in VG..."

yeah full stop i will never forgive them for making her one personality type. sorry, i just won't. my lavellan egg-mancer was a strong-willed and angry proud dalish woman who told solas off every chance she could! i am genuinely so happy people who wanted the dynamic we got in VG got that, because that is how their lavellan is/was, but what about the lavs who punched him? who told him to stop being an asshole about elves, and just farmed approval for the romance by asking questions? i chose to hunt his ass down BECAUSE I WANTED TO HUNT HIS ASS DOWN! my lavellan would not be so understanding or forgiving, she just wouldn't, so it feels like my girl's personality was ripped away from her fr. now, i DO NOT agree with some of the takes on how she was presented because those criticisms are in fact riddled with misogyny and most are just downright vile. but i do agree with the criticisms that not all lavellans would have been so kind to that bald man.

so anon, TRUST me when i say i feel you so bad. i was in lots of solavellan spaces before i started shipping dreadrook, and even then i was looked at SO funny for my takes on the romance and called plenty of terrible things simply because i didn't hold solas up on this pedestal and make my lav worship the ground he walked on. even as a dreadrooker, the same exact takes that i couldn't get behind in solav spaces are very prevalent in dreadrook spaces. solasmancers have a tendency to simply agree with solas on everything and refuse to acknowledge how bad of a person he really can be.

i am a proud solasmancer AND a proud solas hater. #1 solas hater, in fact. i rarely have positive things to say about his actions and behaviors outside of a joke setting, and even in a joke setting the things people will say to defend him RUB ME SO BADLY THE WRONG WAY. also heavy on the perusing the "critical" tags and getting offended when my takes are, in fact, critical LMFAO. anon i am literally a beggar sitting on the side of the street waving a metal cup at you asking for coins of your affection rn. i have maybe one other friend who feels like this and have hardly anyone to rant about these things with. holding my hands out towards you and begging you to dm me fr. PLEASE. we can be critical together <3

[mllemaenad]

Okay, no, actually I am angry about the Tranquil, or rather their absence, in Veilguard.

We start here, in Origins, with the simple fact that these people are left behind in every crisis. Yes, all the mages have also been locked in the Circle by the templars (because seriously: fuck the templars), but as you climb the tower you find that many of the mages are proactively dealing with this situation. But even they have simply left the Tranquil where they found them.

Roll forward to Dragon Age 2, and you find that, while the proposed "Tranquil Solution" has been officially rejected by Divine Justinia, it also becomes apparent that Meredith is doling out Tranquility as a punishment for things like "passing notes". It's played out through a lot of environmental storytelling: you watch the mages in the Gallows Courtyard be replaced by more and more Tranquil as the Acts go on, and you hear those Tranquil report being beaten and abused, just as much as the other mages. This is really happening, and the fact that it's not an officially sanctioned atrocity is hardly comforting.

Then to Inquisition, where we find that the Tranquil have once again been forgotten and left behind – neither the mage rebellion nor the Inquisition collect all that many. Rather, we find that quite a lot of them have been kidnapped by the Venatori and ritually murdered to make magic seeing skulls. We also have a companion character, Cassandra, grappling with the discovery that she herself is a former Tranquil, and that her order has used this rite for millennia – and always known how to fix it. And on top of that, we have Tranquil characters grappling with the possibility of a cure, and whether or not they would take it.

If you include the supplementary material, you get the plot of Asunder, which spends a lot of time on Circle culture: the fact that it is normal for mages to simply disappear, and you may never know if they were killed, made Tranquil or just transferred. They view the Tranquil with horror because they symbolise the constant peril in which every mage lives. The templars can do anything to you, and no one will even ask about it. We have a whole story about the brutal lengths to which the Seekers are willing to go to stop the cure for Tranquility from getting out.

There's also Pharamond, a former Tranquil who provides the most detailed – and horrifying – description of the experience we have, and who would prefer to die than be returned to that state. And another Tranquil woman, who is unnamed and unknown, but who at multiple points in the narrative provides as much information as she can to the protagonist and his allies as they attempt to fight back.

Over and over this is depicted as a means for the powerful to control the powerless, as torture dressed up as mercy, as a deeply damaging and peculiar thing which is not well understood, but which has nevertheless been used liberally throughout history.

And then we get to Veilguard. And the big fucking reveal is that the ancient elven kings, the evanuris, used this on the titans, the shapers of the world ... and that this is one of the big reasons Thedas is kind of messed up. Which ... sounds important! But honestly, you barely need to even think about it. The consequences of this are confined largely to Harding's personal quest, and even that really only addresses ... whether she, personally, should be mad about it?

They don't even bother to use the word when they talk about it.

The artbook uses it: it specifically says that Solas rendered the titans tranquil, but the artbook apparently cares about a bunch of things Veilguard itself does not.

The takeaway from this discussion, unbelievably, is "the darkspawn aren't people" (yes they fucking are), and then we can hop right back to talking about "the gods" as like ... the ultimate Batman villain, or something.

We go all the way through this exploration of power and abuse, and the end result is "Actually, they aren't people. If they were, killing them might be bad! So they're not! Let's keep killing them!" And yes, they apply this logic to the blight, but the blight is part of a Tranquil titan. We literally just uncovered this.

Not one Tranquil, current or former, is present to object to any of this. Not one little bit do we care about what happened to any surviving Tranquil from the previous games. We do not care at all about the outcome of the mage rebellion in the south. We do not care if the Venatori still think Tranquil make great magic skulls. We do not care about them at all.

The more I look at the older material, the more upsetting I find Veilguard. It feels like ... oh, you know when someone has attempted to "restore" an ancient mosaic or a Renaissance painting, but they don't know what they're doing, so they've messed it all up? It feels like that.

Because we went through all that, and in the end Veilguard forcibly puts you on team "the Tranquil aren't people".

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 21

Hey guys!! The story is starting ramp up to the finish line! I hope you guys are still enjoying it as much I enjoyed writing it.

In this we have Steve taking back his agency, Eddie and Jeff having a little chat and Abbadon leaning on his friends.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

~

As soon as Abbadon grabbed the mic, the audience knew they were going to be in for a ride.

“Las Vegas!” he roared to the crowd, who roared back. “There seems to be some confusion about how naughty I got with Eddie Munson in Denver.”

The crowd went wild, screaming and jumping up and down.

“I never do anything without prior consent,” he grinned. “I’m a gentleman, until you tell me you want it otherwise.” He winked and the crowd screamed back. “I’m not saying I’m coming for Asmodeus’s job,” Abbadon said, draping himself over his guitarist’s shoulders, “but I’m no innocent. I don’t need protection.” He walked across the stage to Astraeus. “I’ve always been affectionate. But I think it’s time to be put the rumors to bed.”

“Oooooohhhhhh!” Asmodeus and Astraeus shouted and got the crowd to say it with them. Once they were loud enough, Azrael started rapidly tapping his drums to further build up tension.

Just when Abbadon was sure the tension couldn’t stretch much further he said, “I’m not a slut. I’m the slut!” The throng of people roared back. “And I’m not going to hide who I am to make myself palpable to people I’ve never met or no longer have any connection to me. I am Abbadon! I AM THE FALLEN!”

Waiting in the wings was Jeff and Eddie. They had gathered to watch Steve do this in person instead of watching it live in the green room.

Jeff cocked his head to the side and clicked his tongue. “Whatever else you think of Abbadon and the rest of the band, you have to admit the man has charisma.”

Eddie pressed his lips together and nodded. He was proud of Steve. Of course he was, but it did sting a little that it took Shane to get him to talk about it. Not him, Not Robin. Hell, not even Simon, whom Eddie thought was unhealthily close to Steve. Shane. Of all the band members, Shane had the least in common with Steve. Spence had the EMT thing, Simon, the upper class upbringing. Other than them liking metal, they couldn’t be further apart then if God planned it that way.

Shane came from a middle class liberal family with an older sister he was close with. Hell, he even still talked to his parents while Steve definitely did not. He was a giant nerd who loved history and myths. Steve struggled in school and only made it out alive because he was on three sports teams and captains of two of them. Shane even slept around to Steve’s search for ‘the one.’ Which Eddie really, really hoped was him.

But maybe that was it. Maybe the reason Shane could get through to Steve was because they didn’t have much in common. Maybe their connection were their differences. That they were friends in spite of the gap between them.

Eddie almost wanted to get Steve into therapy like Gareth was. Because even though it always seemed to him that Gareth was one drink away from destruction these days, the therapy did appear to be working.

Steve could really use something like that.

They watched the set a little bit longer.

“Are you sure you’re okay with Abbadon flirting with Gareth?” Jeff asked.

Eddie blinked for a moment wondering where the comment was coming from. Because, sure, Gareth had talked non-stop about Abbadon being his favorite member, even going as far as to tattoo Abbadon’s mask on his left bicep. But Gareth didn’t seem interested in Abbadon as a person.

And it wasn’t like Steve was really interested in him that way before or after becoming a rockstar.

“Gareth and Abbadon both say it’s fine,” he murmured after a moment or two. “And I trust Abbadon.”

Jeff hummed thoughtfully. “Yeah okay. So this time it’s not going to be the duet?”

“No, I don’t want a repeat of last time. Abbadon is going to be taking the lead vocals on ‘Might as Well Fly’, I think he’ll lend a haunting quality to it.”

Jeff pursed his lips. Steve definitely had the pipes for it, but it wasn’t the song out of their discography that he would have chosen for Abbadon to shred.

Eddie huffed beside him and crossed his arms in front of him. “Let me guess, you have other ideas?”

“Can Abbadon play guitar?” Jeff asked rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Eddie shrugged. “I mean, I guess. He’s like able to play piano, violin, and guitar. Can he play the song you’re thinking of is the real question.”

Jeff turned to him with a grin. “Oh, if I know our friend as well as I think I do, he knows it.”

Eddie frowned at him and cocked his head to the side. “Which one?”

Jeff told him and Eddie rubbed his lips, skeptical. It was a good song. Harder than ‘Might as Well Fly’ and faster too. It had an extra guitar to it because it originally featured a famous guitarist. But it was also the lead guitar on that song.

“Do you really think he can do it?” he asked, licking his upper lip slowly.

Jeff scoffed, “Why? Do you think he can’t?” Eddie just shrugged. “Because holy hell, dude, I was talking to Asmodeus and he was telling me they formed their band over their love of our music. I’m betting if you asked Abbadon he could list his favorite albums alphabetically, chronologically, or which one is best musically. Even before you guys got together, before their band, before we even got a record deal, he’s been your number one fan. And he’s got the chops for it. You know he does.”

Eddie looked around to make sure no one had heard Jeff’s impassioned speech. He ducked his head. “Have Abbadon meet us before we go on to discuss the change while they setup our equipment.”

Jeff grinned and licked his lips. “You won’t regret this. And neither will they.” He jutted his chin out at the roaring crowd.

And yeah, Eddie knew he was being ridiculous about the song. He was trying to play this safe, but Steve didn’t need safe right now. He needed to take back his agency and Eddie knew that this song? It was fucking perfect for Steve. They would be able to feed off the roar of the crowd and give Steve a chance to really show them how good he is.

~

Steve loved the idea of the change in song. Don’t get him wrong, he loved ‘Might as Well Fly’. It just wasn’t the vibe he was trying to send today. Steve already was flying. Now he was raging at the people who were trying to clip his wings. And fuck them.

It meant that he couldn’t start on Gareth’s lap, but that was okay. This was going to be better. A hell of a lot better.

He pulled on his Corroded Coffin logo lined coat and swapped his mask for the lighter everyday one. He was going to need the extra movement for these vocals. He started in the middle again, this time in front of Corroded Coffin instead of between them.

“Hey, Las Vegas!” Eddie cried. “You bitches ready to rock?”

The crowd screamed back and Eddie laughed. “We’ve got a treat for you tonight!” The crowd screamed even louder. “We don’t usually play ‘Nightmare Killer’ because we don’t have that third guitarist.”

The audience went wild, screaming and whistling and stomping their feet in excitement.

“We asked Asmodeus,” Eddie continued. “But he’s too cool for us!” The crowd made teasing booing noises and oohhed. “But that’s okay, we found someone else willing to play.”

The room fell to a hush as Abbadon’s spotlight came on. There was some uneasy wrestling from the audience as he stood with his ear mic and white guitar. Something that eagle-eyed fans would know about Eddie and Jeff was that they didn’t own a white guitar. And all The Fallen fans knew that all of Asmodeus’s guitars were red and vaguely devil themed. This wasn’t his either. This was clearly Abbadon’s.

Abbadon began the opening riff and the crowd took a massive intake of breath as he sailed perfectly through the chunky bits of the original artist’s style. Then he began to sing, the haunting quality of his voice filling in the gaps of the silence that seemed to stretch on from the audience.

Eddie didn’t even bother trying to hold back the look of admiration on his face as he joined Abbadon for the chorus. Their vocals mixing beautifully to the backdrop of a hell beast looking for more from life than the violence it was weaned on.

Throughout the song the only sounds from the crowd were clapping in time to the beat. Eddie had never seen anything like at their concerts before. It was like there was this reverence for what was happening on stage.

Abbadon ate it up and played it up as he enticed the members of Corroded Coffin to him. Each of the members resisted. Then Abbadon handed his guitar off to a roadie and climbed the stairs to the platform that Gareth was on. He straddled Gareth’s lap and drumming cut out as his bandmates played on. From behind it looked like they were kissing, but with Abbadon’s mic off they were making fun of each other. Then suddenly he whirled on Gareth’s lap and hit the drums right on the last note with a crash.

Then in an instant the crowd thundered to life, cheering and stomping and clapping.

Abbadon blew Gareth a kiss and leapt off the platform to take his bows. The flutter of the coat revealing the Corroded Coffin logo again and the crowd screamed even louder. He blew kisses to the crowd and continued to bow. Eddie whistled loudly and Abbadon laughed.

Eddie grabbed the microphone. “Abbadon everyone! One very talented son of bitch! Another round of applause everyone!”

The crowd continued to go wild. Abbadon let out a whoop and jumped up and down, laughing. It was exhilarating, everyone just feeding the energy back to Abbadon and just feeling high off that. Eddie and Jeff shared a glance and Jeff winked. Eddie shook his head. Because yeah, Jeff won that bet.

Abbadon waved goodbye and walked off the stage. Once he was out of view of the audience Hopper swooped in and immediately threw a cool, damp towel over his head and Steve nearly sank to his knees in relief. Because try as they might, the hoods were still fucking hot. Hopper lead him to the dressing room where the rests of The Fallen were waiting.

As soon as the door closed tightly behind Abbadon, Steve pushed back the hood and ripped off the mask. His hair was wet and sweat clung to his face and neck. He let himself sink slowly into the soft cushions of the sofa and laid his head back.

A bottled water was being pushed into his hand and an ice pack was placed on his brow. He let out a small shuddering breath. He opened the water and dumped half of it on his face and the rest into his mouth.

“Thanks, guys,” Steve muttered, his eyes fluttering shut. “How did I look out there?”

Simon huffed a little a laugh. “Like fucking rock god.”

“I’m with Simon,” Spence said. “It won’t silence the naysayers but it’ll drown them out which is even better.”

Steve laughed. “Fuck that was so much fun. Gareth called me a queen. So I called him a bitch. I honestly don’t know if he likes Abbadon more now, or less!”

“Considering how little time you had to prepare,” Shane said, sprawled over an armchair instead of on the floor for a change, “I say you kicked ass. You’re going to get people saying you weren’t really playing but, they can suck your dick!”

Steve lifted his head, the ice pack sliding into his hand. “I hate doing this without you guys, though,” he admitted. “But as Shane pointed out, I’m already super affectionate with you already and short of French kissing Simon, they aren’t going to believe shit.”

“Nothing against you, Steve,” Simon said with a wince, “but I really don’t want your tongue down my throat.”

Shane raised his hand. “I volunteer! I volunteer!”

They all laughed. Then Robin as Celeste slipped in and sat next to Steve. She grabbed the ice pack and pressed it to the back of her neck. They all waited as she let her defenses slowly come down. She pulled off the wig and tossed it Spence who caught it deftly.

“Vickie has been working tirelessly tonight to keep an eye on social media,” Robin began, “she even has two of her assistants watching all the accounts, constantly refreshing.”

Steve turned on the couch to face her. “And what are they saying?”

Simon and Spence immediately moved over to her to sit on either side of her and Steve. Shane sprawled over the back like some Renaissance painting. He rustled her hair and she huffed out a laugh.

“You’re getting the trolls from both fans shit talking about how Abbadon is better than Corroded Coffin and should have turned them down like Asmodeus,” she continued, pausing only for Simon’s huff of laughter. “The Corroded Coffin fans were whining about how Abbadon’s vocals ruined the song and that he probably faking the guitar playing for the views.”

“I’d like to see them fake that bridge,” Steve scoffed. “It’s insane.”

Simon nodded. “I don’t think I could do it.” He snapped his fingers. “That’s what I’ll do. I’ll post a Tiktok of me trying to play it.”

“Wait!” Spence said. “Have Steve do it first, showing a close up of the hands dancing on the frets. Then you stitch it with your version. That should kick them in the ass.”

Steve and Simon fist bumped each other. “Hell yeah!”

“But the rest of the tweets and shit coming in is overwhelmingly positive,” Robin finished. “So that Tiktok should silence the Corroded Coffin fans.”

When Simon did his stitch of Steve’s video he made sure to admonish their fans about thinking who’s better than who. He was friends with the boys in CC and the being ‘too cool’ was a fucking joke.

Then Eddie did a stitch of both of their videos and showed them again how complicated the riff was for Abbadon to play by playing it himself. Abbadon and Asmodeus’s videos racked up a lot of views and shares, but Eddie’s really did the numbers. It blew up and completely overshadowed all the haters.

Steve made sure to thank Eddie for that later in the privacy of Eddie’s hotel room.

~

Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

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10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina @garden-of-gay

[yandere-daydreams]

man, having a yandere like Neuvillette whose effect on the weather could essentially keep the entire nation hostage for Darling would be ROUGH. Suddenly every rejected gift or escape attempt becomes a possible casualty, how do you do anything but try and play along with the delusion, when the delusion is held by someone whose very mood could flood villages?

because i am the person that i am my mind goes instantly back to the raiden shogun,,, she's surrounded an entire nation in a single storm, slayed gods with one strike of her sword. even if she'd rather pose herself as a protector than a captor, even if she claims to think of her subjects as a precious resource worthy of preservation, you can't help but remember the guards whose heads were liberated from their shoulders for the great crime of letting you slip away for all of an hour during your daily stroll through the city (an act she claims you're too naive to be at fault for). it doesn't even have to be a deliberate effort. you've seen the way the clouds darken when fail to respond to her petnames, felt the static in the air buzz whenever one of her many advisors implies that there was a chance her fondness for you might possibly be distracting her from her duties.

the last time you failed to kiss her cheek before she departed from her estate, a schoolhouse on the other side of the island was struck by lightning on an otherwise clear day, and you can swear the thunder is just a little louder on the nights you refuse to share her bed. you know she's too mature to be doing it consciously, that she's not so petty as to try to guilt you into intimacy, but it's difficult to be as coldhearted as you want to be when you know some unfortunate village will be the one to pay the price.

it's difficult to tell her how unhappy you are, when her unhappiness is so much more destructive than your own.

[yellowflowrs]

What was Nari and the Carillonneur's relationship like pre-betrayal? I'm assuming not good since you said Narinder found enjoyment in their post-defeat state and taunted them occasionally.

It definitely wasn’t a healthy relationship by all means and was kinda co-dependent. It’s sort of hard to properly explain their relationship in words . All I gotta say: The song breezeblocks by Alt-J and that one song Saccharine sums their relationship up

(Cw for talking of an unhealthy relationship) sorry for mistakes I was really tired

//

So yeah their relationship was pretty … toxic for a lack of a better word. The Carillonneur was extremely obsessive over Narinder, since he was the first person that they could properly interact with, and also their promised liberator which led to them becoming very attached. They craved his attention, and with their status as a god felt entitled to it, and would be miserable without him

And, being very unhinged with a broken mind, they didn’t exactly know how to properly handle the greatness of their obsession, and when Narinder visited them, they often had outbursts under the weight of their own emotions, these outbursts would be out of excitement, frustration, etc. most of their the frustrated outbursts really just stemmed from them being so excited. They didn’t know how to properly express their feelings and tried to show ‘their love’ in their own weird ways, what can be perceived as threats or sick desires is what they meant to be a showcase of their of ‘ endearment ‘

Before Narinder had the red crown bestowed upon him he felt weak, constantly in a state of fear of beings that could hurt him, so when he got the red crown it gave him a huge ego boost. Developing the glaring (aka the flock) with beings under his thumb further fed into it as he loved the feeling of being ‘powerful’. Though, when he was with The Carillonneur it’s like he gets knocked off his pedestal of being great and all, because he’s also attached to the carillonneur in his own way. He felt obligated to them, as his the god that saved, befriended, -and in their more calmer moments- provided a ‘safe haven’ and praise for him. He subconsciously sought comfort in the arms of their praises and thrived off it, he was dependent on their approval and they somehow, despite being everything they are, made him feel at ease, which he absolutely loathed . The way The Carillonneur treated and talked to him made him feel like an object of their possession

he recognised that The Carillonneur was also attached to him in a different way than he was with them, and would begin to ignore the Carillonneur’s attempts at contact through the crown and enjoyed the desperation they had for his attention which, of course, he used to feed his ego

In a way, The Carillonneur resented Narinder for making them feel emotions that were incredibly overwhelming for them and how he messed with their already jumbled brain wires, while Narinder resented the Carillonneur for how they knocked him off his pedestal of greatness and made him feel inferior ..,. So yeah, really shitty relationship the two of them had and OG Narinder with Mori arent much better (neither is Shamura with Koa) I took a good chunk out of these paragraphs and there’s more layers to their relationship but it is 3 AM AS IM WRITING THIS AUGHHH. I’m sure you guys can fill in the little details that I left out.

[astra-ravana]

Liber Paimon

Note: This is a work in progress, but something I've been wanting to do for some time. Hopefully this gives you an idea what I'm going for and serves to preface the book as a whole. Once I am finished I plan to self publish it as an ebook. Any suggestions for this as well as feedback on the two chapters is really appreciated. Happy reading! 🖤

The Dream (Intro)

  I'm having the dream again. I am a child of another time, navigating large, gridded paths between square pools. Fish swim around below me as I run and hop to the end of one path and into an open patio positioned above a waterfall. Looking out, I see gardens with every form of plant life imaginable, but I barely pay them any mind. I approach a young boy sitting on a stone bench. The bench is the same shimmering grey-blue as the walls of this place. Cobalt, I recognize. I sit beside the boy and greet him, proudly presenting a stack of cards I had been given, some sort of divinatory oracle. The boy looks worried as he asks me about some sort of initiation I was to take part in.

   Then the setting changes and I'm being lead down a dark hallway towards a big, red door. My escorts are four masked women in what appears to be ancient Greek styled clothing and faces obscured by ornate masks. There are golden lion statues outside of the door. I know that these lions were a gift for the King and I was about to enter that room and life as I knew it wouldn't be the same ever again. I thought it was what I wanted but as someone positions a mask over my face I am suddenly filled with dread. I was being chosen, it was an honor, I had a gift, and people needed me. I knew all of this. But then I began to resist the hands leading me. Tears streamed down my face.

   Then from behind the red door we hear a building chaos. Yelling and panic, something shatters. One of my escorts opens the red doors and slips quickly between them, I try to see inside and catch a glimpse of fire as well as circles and symbols convering the floor and walls. Then theres a brief silence before I hear someone yell, "He has released them!"  The women leading me begin to fall away. The doors open and people are running past me, screaming, crying. Something big is happening. For a time I'm just frozen there, staring into the room. An old man meets my eyes and something in his gaze awakens me from my shocked state.

   Then I am in the desert sand, the stars above me, a chill setting into my bones, as I run, stumbling, towards the lights of a distant town. I didn't know if anyone was following me, I didn't care. I didn't think of how my shoes and robes would slow me down, or how cold it was. I just ran. Ran until I couldn't anymore, until I collapsed in a sobbing, shivering heap.

   Then he was there. Pulling me onto the back of a camel. Warmth, safety, acceptance, I felt these things. I knew he wasn't a normal man, more like an amalgamation of man and beast and god, a black flame in the pitch of night. "I'm running too, " he spoke, with a whispering melody, "Let's run together." I nod against him feeling power well within me. As we ride on, I feel myself changing, becoming one with his vibration and then it all fades away...

   The dream started when I was about nine years old and sure enough, every few nights, as I slept, I lived it again and again. I saw his face, his long black hair, heard his voice echoing in my mind. But who was this mysterious figure? What were these dreams trying to tell me? I wondered this for a long time. I wouldn't get my answers until the Winter of 2017.

   I had been scrolling some witchcraft centered Facebook groups when I came across a post asking about people's past life dreams and memories. I took the opportunity to tell my story, simply wanting to add something to the discussion. I forgot about it, until people began replying to my comment.

   "This sounds like the cobalt temple of King Solomon." My brain reeled at what I identified as a Bible reference. I was a dedicated atheist and detested the Christian religion. But someone quickly corrected me. This wasn't the wise, old King Solomon skimmed over in the King James Bible. Furthermore, my dream savior on camel back was likely not a man at all, but a demon. A powerful king of Hell, subject only to Lucifer himself, and his name was Paimon. As I clicked through links and articles of varying descriptions and depictions it became clearer. This was who I saw in my dream. But, why was I having these dreams? Could this possibly be real? What would this demon want with me?

   Honestly, I sat with the knowledge for some time, unsure of what to do with it. Then, I began communing with the spirit world as part of my practice. I began using my dreams as a vehicle for spiritual contact. I worked with the Fae, the dead, and became captivated by Djinn and other non-human spirits. Around this time I purchased several books, one of which was The Goetia of Solomon the King. I read Paimon's page over and over, stared at his sigil until my eyes watered. I began extensive research into demons, their origin, and true nature as well as methods for summoning and invoking them. And then one cool Spring night, I was ready.

   I wrote a plea to Paimon to enter my life and bring my answers and folded it a couple times, drawing his sigil on the outside, and then pricking my finger, letting blood dribble over it. I sat nervously on my front porch with a lit orange candle, the night was still, silent, dark. "Linan Tasa Jedan Paimon," I spoke to the air around me, it came out like a hoarse whisper. Undeterred, I held the petition over the flame and held it while it lit up, kissing the tips of my fingers with flame and making me wince. As the last scraps of paper burnt up a strange, familiar feeling cascaded over me.

   I suddenly felt very warm, dizzy, restless, ethereal, connected to something ancient and powerful. The sky let out a deep, atmospheric hum, like the blowing of a horn, the wind picked up and whipped around me, I could eventually hear bells and chiming tones, music rolling through my sleepy town. Then came a voice, rolling through my mind like a slow-moving storm front. "Finally, you are finished running. "

Who is Paimon?

“The Ninth Spirit in this Order is Paimon, a Great King, and very obedient unto LUCIFER. He appeareth in the form of a Man sitting upon a Dromedary with a Crown most glorious upon his head. There goeth before him also an Host of Spirits, like Men with Trumpets and well sounding Cymbals, and all other sorts of Musical Instruments. He hath a great Voice, and roareth at his first coming, and his speech is such that the Magician cannot well understand unless he can compel him. This Spirit can teach all Arts and Sciences, and other secret things. He can discover unto thee what the Earth is, and what holdeth it up in the Waters; and what Mind is, and where it is; or any other thing thou mayest desire to know. He giveth Dignity, and confirmeth the same. He bindeth or maketh any man subject unto the Magician if he so desire it. He giveth good Familiars, and such as can teach all Arts. He is to be observed towards the West. He is of the Order of Dominations [Dominions]. He hath under him 200 Legions of Spirits, and part of them are of the Order of Angels, and the other part of Potentates. Now if thou callest this Spirit Paimon alone, thou must make him some offering; and there will attend him two Kings called LABAL and ABALI , and also other Spirits who be of the Order of Potentates in his Host, and 25 Legions. And those Spirits which be subject unto them are not always with them unless the Magician do compel them. His Character is this which must be worn as a Lamen before thee, etc.”

- Original text from The Goetia

“Paimon is an angel-daimon of Lucifer, whom appears as a man crowned upon a camel. This spirit is a familiar of musick, thus by invoking Paimon one may work through an avenue of self-initiation through creating musick. Paimon is a powerful Angelick King of the Witchcraft, whom has 200 Legions of spirits – half are the Orders of Angels, the others being Potentates. Paimon appears with two Spirit/Djinn – Label and Ablim who are referred to as Kings. Paimon is perhaps one of the most significant Angelick Rulers, which along with Astaroth (whom is more bestial/demonic in nature and appearance) opens the way to the “Grail” of Lucifer’s crown – the perception of “I” and the mind separate from the universe. Paimon is a higher spirit of self-initiation, who is a path maker for ones own becoming. Paimon sometimes appears as an angelick spirit with a flaming sword. His office is Guardian of the Path through Leviathan, the Guardian of the Depths and Subconscious.”

- From The Luciferian Goetia by Michael Ford

“He teaches all arts and sciences and occult.  He can be invoked to bind others.  To be observed toward the west with offerings. Seek Paimon to understand Alchemy. Seek Paimon for creative pursuits or to design a plan of action. Paimon can also help in emotional understanding.”

-From the Demonolatry Goetia by S. Connolly

- The sigil of King Paimon

  The lore and cultural footprint of King Paimon is rather significant, especially compared to other Goetic spirits. First, and perhaps most notably, are his number of legions of followers, which is 200, more than any other listed demon. Far more in fact, as Beleth has the next highest number of legions, which is 85. This is likely the reason why Paimon is named the "Lord of Familiars", amongst other designations. Often described as having long, flowing pblack hair, an effeminate face, wearing robes with a brilliant crown upon his head. He possesses a unique connection with the spiritual realm and its inhabitants in that he can create an open channel of communication and can connect you to spirits who resonate at a similar frequency to you.

   In this aspect he very much carries the mantle of a grand mediator between you and the spirit world, easily finding you the right spirit for your need. Paimon can warn one of, and protect them from, malevolent spirits. He also eases connections with spirits who would be otherwise considered difficult to work with. He clears away the clouds of miscommunication for you to truly connect with spirits on their level, which is a truly priceless resource to a practitioner.

   Paimon is also a spirit of creativity and the arts. He celebrates both creators and the fruits of their labor. He is very in tune with the sounds, vibrations, and frequencies of the Universe and has a deep love for music. He is said to have influenced artist and musician alike, infusing his powerful energy into their creations. When Paimon arrives the world truly comes alive with light, color, and sound.

   Although he is capable of displays of power and physical manifestation, Paimon prefers subtle and considerate forms, talking within the conscious minds of his contacts. He is a spirit of  communication as well and has ways of connecting with almost anyone. Paimon carries an air of diplomacy and universal recognition. Wherever he goes, his voice shall be heard.

   Witchcraft is another area where Paimon's presence is highly fortuitous. Paimon is a higher spirit who has lived many lives, both physical and spiritual, and has been an avid practitioner of both high and low magick. He carries vast knowledge regarding herbalism, spell crafting, symbology, divination, spirit work, dream manipulation, and astral travel. If there is a witchcraft related matter, he most certainly has some knowledge related to it. He guides his adepts to research deeper and apply themselves in their craft. With his tutelage your practice can be significantly amplified.

   Finally, Paimon embodies natural, perfect chaos, the order of disorder, thinking freely, and being authentic and true to your path. While he can cause the ruin of the tower, he more greatly values the process of rebuilding it better than it was. In this same way, he rebuilds the witch, making them stronger and much more true to themselves in the process.

Temperament

   All things considered, Paimon is a rather easy going spirit. He enjoys sweets like cakes, honey, and especially chocolate. He loves animals and has a soft spot for children. He has a deep respect for nature, the stars, and the elements, and understands the intricate connections between these and the spirits that exist around, and within, us. He has a quick wit, brilliant sense of humor, and likes to gossip. Even though he leads 200 legions, he believes in equality amongst all spirits and always hears what others have to say. He's a fantastic listener as well as a smooth talker. As an individual he is charming and fascinating, comforting and strong, scientific and artistic, light-hearted but serious when the situation calls for it. Everything you might want in a friend. Especially a spirit friend who can help guide you through the unknown with enthusiasm.

   On the reverse side of things, Paimon is capable of being a very intimidating force. If he, or his adepts are wronged he can become fixated on vengeance. Don't mistreat your access to the spirit world and try to keep your dealings fair. In other words, the spirits want to help and they deserve fair reciprocation and respect. On Paimon's path we don't trap or bind spirits or force them to be subject unto us in any form. That means no Solomonic or Abrahamic magick. While studying these is encouraged, practice should be very limited. Instead we will focus on invocation, sigil work, and forming creative beacons for spirit to flow through.

   Paimon can also call vast amounts of spirits to his aid, making him an even more imposing emissary of the Qliphothic plain. Powerful spirits like Azazel, Asmodeus, Lucifer, and Leviathan have such a deep respect for this camel-riding King that he is considered by some to be an honorary Dark Lord of Hell. He knows secrets that no one else knows, has answers to questions no one has thought to ever ask, and has alliances in all corners of all plains of existence... And provided you're in his good graces, you would never suspect this. To Paimon, titles and hierchies are useless constructs, degrading the value and contributions of the individual. This humble spirit remains a wandering soul who values communication between beings, serendipity, the mind, and the soul's journey above all else.

Correspondences

Enn: "Linan Tasa Jedan Paimon"

Rank: King

Other names (titles): King of Music, Lord of Familiars, Master of Infernal Ceremonies, the Pale King, Guardian of the Path to Leviathan

Colors: Yellow, orange, black, purple, dark blue indigo

Herbs: Bindweed, saffron, sunflower, violets, yarrow, mullien, rose, frankincense, myyrh, wood betony, dandelion, sandalwood, patchouli, turmeric, thyme

Crystals: Gold aura hematite, labradorite, moldavite, rutilated quartz, pietersite, lapis lazuli, citrine, larvakite, ruby kyanite, bumblebee jasper, fluorite, marcosite, tourmaline

Element: Air/Water

Planet: Sun/Mercury

Zodiac: Gemini

Metal: Gold, meteorite

Tarot: The Magician, The Hermit, 6 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords

Direction: West

Dates: June 11th - 20th, April 30th - May 1st

Day: Sunday

Animal: Dramaderie camel

Domains: All arts and sciences, familiars, spirit work of any kind, music, alchemy, emotions, mental pursuits/finding knowledge, truth, the unknown, the occult, mysteries of life, manifestation, communication, enlightenment, mental, spiritual, and emotional growth, dream work, divination, astrology, baneful magick, herbalism, nature, sigil work, psychic abilities, scrying, shadow work, balance

Offerings: Sweets like cake, cookies and chocolate, honey, coffee, tea, soda, wine, canabis, tobacco, herbs, incense, music, works of art, conversation (tell him your secrets)

[iouinotes]

Drunken Love | Five Hargreeves (Part 2)

summary: Five shows you what he always wanted to do with you...

pairing: Five Hargreeves x female!reader

word count: 1,5k

warnings: SMUT (Five is 18 in this fan fic)

author‘s note: here is the second part, a little longer this time :))

part one here

As we make our way out of the room, he reaches in vain for a wine bottle, but I reach out and take his hand so that our hands are joined. My heart quickens, his gaze becomes more fixed. As soon as we are out of the room, out of reach of the liquor, I let go of his hand. He says nothing, I do the same.

A silence spreads, only the beeping at the elevator can be heard. The only thing he addresses to me is the floor he has to go to and his room number, I nod even though I already know that. And then he squints his eyes at the bright light in the elevator, slumps against the wall. I look at him, press the button and notice the tormented expression on Five's face as the speed increases.

"Feel sick-" Luckily for me, the elevator stops the next second and the doors open. It takes a while to reach his room, but suddenly he stops. ,, K-key. Pants." Shit. Although he tries to reach into his pocket, it is no use. "I-" my voice fails. " Do you want me to?" I ask hesitantly.

His tired eyes look at me, his gaze glides over my face. Then he nods. With shaky hands, my hand wanders to his jeans, I swallow and avoid his gaze. Fortunately (unfortunately) for me, he seems to be slowly sobering up a bit. "You're shaking." I get the slight impression that he is trying to keep his tone monotone, but he can't quite hide his curiosity.

However, I remain silent and try to ignore his statement so that I can quickly get him into his bed, at least so that he can sleep in it. Despite my attempt not to say anything to his words, he does not give in. "Are you... nervous?" His assessment is rude, even if he guesses exactly right.

"No." I murmur, but his eyebrows rise lazily. "I feel so light, unconcerned. Why are you with me?" His change of subject confuses me. "You weren't in any condition to get up here yourself, or to your own bed." My gaze wanders to his face, surprisingly he is already looking at me. But different than usual, more like he hates me less than normal. I am even more confused.

"Yours?" He asks, without me understanding the context. "What?" I almost forget why we're even standing here, I'm not used to being questioned by him like this. Usually he only talks to me when it's necessary. "You could have taken me to your bed." My eyes widen, because what did he just say? I look at him puzzled.

"Why do you always want the things you can't have?" Now he babbles, the alcohol showing its effect. "You tried everything to save the world, don't blame yourself for that." He shakes his head.

"I want you."

I drop the keys I just obtained. I don't think I can move. "Every dream I have is plagued by you. Your eyes, your mouth. Your voice, I'm addicted to it. I want to hear you speak again and again, it's a punishment not to."

"You're drunk." My voice trembles, now I'm the one who feels sick. "That's true. But I'm also in love with you." He laughs, so loud that it echoes throughout the hallway. "I feel so liberated to finally be able to say it. I thought I was going to die with this burden. God, I can finally admire you for as long as I want."

My head hurts, I think I'm going to cry. "You don't know what you're saying." I want to run away, I must be dreaming. It seems to be the most beautiful dream, but in a moment he will roll his eyes and tell me how naive and stupid I am to believe that. That he could never be in love with me. But none of that happens, he just looks at me with a drunken smile on his face and bright eyes reddened by alcohol.

"I thought you hated me." My whisper is fragile, my eyes are fixed on the floor in front of me.

"Pretending to hate you was easier than pretending not to love you."

The first tear escapes my eyes.

My breathing is heavy and I don't know what to do. "I hate seeing you cry, even more when I'm the one who's causing it." I want to disagree with him, but my voice seems to have run away.

As I unlock his door, I feel two arms around my waist. I almost collapse. His lips are so close to my ear, I can smell the alcohol coming from him. "There's so much I want to do to you that I shouldn't." I am not able to answer, my knees are weak.

"I want to kiss you, hold you, hug you, talk to you. Spread your legs apart to be in between myself, do things to you that make your eyes roll back and your hands tug at my hair. Just the idea of seeing you like that in front of me could drive me crazy. I probably already am. Because you're making me stand so close to you and I don't want to be three feet away from you."

I feel so dizzy, I can't think. Slowly, he leads us into the room, letting the door fall shut and his hand slide to my hip. His lips approach my cheek, fluttering lightly over my skin and moving to my neck. My breathing becomes heavy, my eyes fall closed and when he starts talking again, I have to pull myself together not to crumble.

"Do you want me the same way? Because if you don't, run out of this room now and spare my heart. I can't wait to love you."

My teeth chew on my bottom lip, trying to make sense of his drunken words. I whisper, "Yes, I want to be with you," feeling my skin burn at the touch. "Good," he murmurs.

His hand moves down my side at a slow pace, slides over my skirt, under the fabric and lingers there. "Is that what you want? My hand? My lips?" I nod, trying to formulate words, but I'm too caught up in his way that I didn't imagine dreaming.

“Come on, dear. Talk to me, otherwise my hands will stay right there and do nothing. I need to hear you say it." My next breath is heard even by him. "I-I want you." I feel his grin, against my flushed cheek. "What exactly? Tell me and I'll do it, I'll do anything for you." My back presses into his chest, my legs tighten and are brought apart by his hand with a sinister giggle.

"So eager, huh? Make an effort, darling. I know this mouth can do more than what you're revealing. ,,Your hands." My voice trembles. "Where do you want my hands? Here?"

His hands slide down my thighs, leaving the place where I want them. I shake my head. "Here?" They skim over the plaid fabric, his fingers hooking at the top waistband. ,,Do you want this off? Or do you want to keep it on?"

His mouth slides to my neck, brushes away my hair. "On." It just escapes me, feeling like I'm in a fever dream. And then I feel his hands going under my skirt again, this time higher up. Until it comes back to me. "No underwear?"

My knees go wobbly as a finger strokes the throbbing spot. ,,You're wet, are you feeling turned on already? I haven't even really started yet." I feel weak, I've never had sensations like this before.

"I love you" it escapes me.

When he replies without hesitation, I'm sure that even if the world ends now, I'll be by the side of the person who means everything to me.

"Do you want more?" I nod. "Can't you speak anymore, so caught up in what I'm doing to you?" I nod again. "God, this turns me on. If you only knew what you were doing to me." His fingers stroke my folds, slowly, but so decisively that I have to remind myself to breathe.

"That's right, hold on to me, I've got you." My hands try to hold on to him, his breath brushes over my pulse, leaving a kiss in that exact spot. "You are beautiful." A sound leaves my mouth that almost sounds like a whimper, but it's cut short as his hand grips my chin and I hear his voice again.

"Open your mouth, darling." I listen to him, almost as if I am under a spell. His fingers slide slowly into my mouth, pressing gently on my tongue, making me breathe through my nose.

"That's it, you're doing great." My eyebrows draw together and a warm feeling spreads through my chest. As his fingers leave my mouth, they slide to my hips again, but this time a little more precisely underneath. "Still okay? May I?" Nodding, I wait.

And then I feel his wet fingers and have to hold back a moan. "Let me hear you, you can be as loud as you want." My mouth opens and with each movement of his fingers that roam over me, sounds escape me.

"You sound so beautiful. Do you want more?" My mouth moves "yes" and as his other hand turns my head to kiss him, his working hand slides inside me with tentativeness.

It feels good, even if it is unfamiliar. "You okay?" I nod. "That's good, it would be a shame to stop now." Without realizing it, my eyes have fallen shut, and now when I open them again, I see our reflection in the window.

I groan at the sight of him and the fingers that have disappeared under my skirt. "Looking at you is like having the sun in front of me. You are magnificent." His movements become faster, my knees more tender, his voice softer and my sounds louder. As I feel something building inside me, I feel his smile.

,,You are so good for me, come pretty girl."

At his words, I feel my release. As soon as my breathing synchronizes, I feel his soft kisses. I have to smile, even though I am exhausted. He turns me around in his arms so I can look at him. His eyes are clearer, his smile genuine.

As he walks me to the bed so I can sit, he puts an arm around me. I lean against him. "I'm sorry for my behavior over the last few years. I'm glad to be able to show you how I really feel."

I still have to smile.

"Yes. Me too."

[cultkinkcoven]

Ended up renewing my vows with Lucifer today! I was gonna do it tomorrow (Venus Day) but I’m gonna be working and might not have the time to do it properly. I felt his presence a lot today and felt now was the right time.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions from you guys about how to make a contract with a deity, or what my contract looks like, so I figured now would be a good time to make a post about it. Some specific details will obviously be left out, in particular I’m not going to be providing my entire initiation ritual. This is just the general outline of my contract.

My Contract with Lord Lucifer

In the initiation ritual I did this process backwards, starting with bounds, then terms of service, and finally concluding with the oath. I sealed my contract with a personal sigil, a kiss, and blood. It’s up to you how you’ll seal your contract.

Oath of the Initiate.

My personal oath is based on a pact written by Kindra Ravenmoon in her Devotionals to Lucifer.

Pledge:

“I, veneficus [your chosen name], hereby scribe my name into the Holy tablet of Venus, the Black Book of Lucifer, and in turn, I scribe his name on my flesh, Lord Atshtari Luciferi. For you, Light Bringer, I pledge myself to the path of Enlightenment, the Internal Flame of Godhood, of Blood, of Thorns, of Shadows, the crooked left path that leads to the Truest Self. I, now and forever, will be under Lucifer’s light, no other God shall come before He. To Venus, to Lucifer, I pledge myself, I shall accept his gifts along with the challenges He has sent for me. Lord Eosphoros is my God! Every path I have taken in the past has lead me into his welcoming arms. I will serve Lord Lucifer with my whole mind, body and soul, my existence is a temple in which he is glorified. I swear to give my full allegiance to Lucifer and to accept his wisdom without hesitation. I am a faithful servant unto his majesty. A soldier of his principles. I am his dear beloved child and holy disciple, forever I shall be a testament of his wonders. If I ever betray this oath, I hearby declare that I shall be cast away into the darkness of oblivion, never to see the glorious light of Truth again.

My soul is sacred and beautified with the loving mark of Venus. With signing the Light Bringer and the Dark Lord’s book, I dedicate myself to freedom. I am the bearer of the Blackened Flame, the gift of Lucifer and the shadow path. This veneficus steps through the Gates of Becoming, the Gates to His Kingdom. I pledge myself to this oath of secrecy and of loyalty to Ashtari Luciferi and will forever dedicate myself to His Great Work. I hereby am the dear devotee and eternal initiate of the Liberator, Lord Lucifer.”

[*Sign Name*]

Ave Lord Lucifer! Hail thyself forever more!

The laws:

After each declaration a ring of a bell can occur, or the initiate can repeat the affirmation: “I do, Forever and always, in the name of Lord Lucifer.”

*Never shall the initiate place themselves lower than any man nor God. By the signing of this pact, he has affirmed his sovereignty.

(“I do, forever and always, in the name of Lord Lucifer”)

*The initiate must always fight to uphold the principles of freedom, knowledge enlightenment, and liberation. They must dedicate their life to freeing the oppressed and uplifting the down trotted, they must always seek wisdom and to expand their understanding of the world and themselves. The initiate turns his back to ignorance and misinformation, for he is now a truth seeker. The intimate must dedicate himself to radical education.

*The initiate must love humanity and embrace it with radical empathy. Even when mankind is cruel and wicked, the initiate must always fight for love and freedom. The initiate may never hold a view that is discriminatory or hateful towards humanity.

*The initiate must never choose cruelty. They must be willing to defend themselves and others from evil without becoming evil themselves.

*The initiate must never perform any act which causes intentional harm to oneself.

*The initiate may never hide anything from his Lord Lucifer, for he knows that the light of Eosphoros reveals everything. There is no path that the initiate will walk alone.

*The initiate’s body is a temple of Luciferian gnosis. Never shall the initiate allow this body to be disrespected or defied for the benefit of others.

*The initiate is a liberator of natural world. He must always protect the principles of Mother Nature and all of Her creatures and wonders. Never shall the initiate disrespect the beautiful planet and home he has been given. If the initiate uses the natural world as sacrifice in magical workings, he must do the least amount of harm possible, and give back in equal or greater fold to what he has taken.

*The initiate respects all of Lucifer’s spirits of Hell and Heaven.

*The initiate may never use these gifts received from his Lord Lucifer to harm the innocent or to disgrace the honest.

*The initiate must understand that they are deserving of luxury, as they are the precious child of Lord Lucifer whom he holds dear. They must treat themselves as a valuable treasure deserving of the finest things in life. They will never allow themselves to be mistreated. They will never disrespect their own boundaries.

*The initiate must have great humility and be willing and ready to change. The intimate must admit his mistakes and dedicate himself to becoming a better person.

*The initiate will allow his Lord Lucifer to burn away all that does not serve him. He will walk though the flames and emerge a diamond of Luciferian gnosis.

*The initiate will always continue to explore himself in all ways, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, sexually.

[*Sign Name*],

“I do, forever and always, in the name of Lord Lucifer.”

Terms of Service ~ Contract of Consent

This is where Lucifer outlines all of his expectations for me and the perimeters for our relationship.

When you call me, I will answer. I will never forsake you.

When I speak you will listen. When you speak, I will listen.

You will make your own decisions. I will advise you.

I will protect you. You will honour me. As I will keep you with me, you will keep me with you.

I will never hurt you. I will never be cruel towards you.

You will be tested. You will be forced to change your mind.

I will lead you. I will teach you. You will follow me. You will learn.

You will accept what you are given. I will give you what you deserve.

I will reward you for good behaviour, I will punish you for bad behaviour.

I will be gentle and careful with your body. I will love you as you prefer.

You will receive my approval when opening the circle to any other person or spirit. Your relationships with other spirits may not contradict or disrespect your relationship with me.

You may call me whichever name feels right to you.

[In some relationships, only honourifics, (Lord, Lady) are used.]

I will never lead you astray. You will trust in my direction.

If ever we are separate, you will search for my Light.

You will never be forced to worship me, but you must promise to worship yourself.

We will always communicate with each other.

I will respect your boundaries. You will head my command.

I will love you through all of your mistakes. You will always be perfect to me.

[*Sign name*], I do, forever and always.

Bounds

Here is where I outline all of my boundaries for Lucifer to follow.

Never will Lord Lucifer overstep my bodily autonomy without consent. Never will he take possession over me without my permission.

[Here is where you would specify how comfortable you are with having your body manipulated]

Our craft requires no harm to any living animal or human being.

[Here is where you would specify if you are comfortable performing animal sacrifice, herbal sacrifice, etc.]

Lord Lucifer will never harm anyone dear to me without my explicit intention and permission.

[Here is where you would specify your boundaries surrounding other people in your life]

My relationship with Lord Lucifer may never contradict or disrespect the relationship I have with my human partner(s), [*full name(s)]

I will offer blood, tears, hair, semen, and other DNA to Lucifer through the least harmful method possible whenever I feel called to. I will never be forced to offer if I do not have the means, either practically, mentally, or emotionally.

[Here is where you would outline whether you are comfortable giving blood or other bodily offerings, how often these offerings will be given, and the methods that’ll be used to provide these offerings]

I will give my pleasure and sexual gratitude to Lord Lucifer as an offering whenever I feel called to. I invite Lucifer to use my sexual energy in workings and in the ritual space for manifestation or communication.

[Here is where you would specify if you are comfortable with doing sex magic or giving sexual offerings, and how often this will occur.]

I will wear my devotional jewelry and markings for Lord Lucifer and make him aware before taking them off. I will respect and cherish my devotional wears and keep them in good condition. I will not allow others to wear or handle my devotional jewelry, with the exception of my human partner, [*full name*].

[Here is where you establish if there are any rules regarding devotional jewelry or tattoos]

Lucifer is encouraged to contact me in my dreams and in trances.

[Here is where you would specify if you are comfortable being contacted while unconscious or between states of consciousness without first giving explicit permission]

Lucifer is encouraged to touch my energetic and physical body or otherwise provide me with physical sensations an visualizations in the ritual space.

[Here is where you specify how much physical touch is appropriate for your relationship]

Lucifer may call me by chosen name, [*name], as well as any other terms of endearment he may use to refer to me.

[Here is where you specify if it’s appropriate to for them to call you your common name, a special or secret name, or something more formal]

Lucifer will not force me through any test he does not believe I am ready for.

Lucifer will protect my lover and those who are dear to me.

[Here is where you specify if there are any specific people you’d like Lucifer to look out for]

Never will I reveal the details of our relationship or workings without explicit permission from Lord Lucifer.

[Here is where the rules about the secrecy of your practice are established. Some spirits will demand that you do not share anything you do with them.]

I will love myself as I have loved Lord Lucifer.

[*Sign Name*], I do, forever and always.

Ave Lord Lucifer! ✴️Hail Thyself! 🔱

[warsofasoiaf]

So the US secretary of defense texted another war plans on his brother, wife and personal lawyer? I lost count of war plans leaks already, my god.

This surprises you? Hegseth was nominated because he was meant to be a pugnacious culture warrior, not due to any administrative competence or national security bona fides. Honestly, Hegseth bragging about this to his wife and lawyer screams: "Look how important and virile I am," perhaps the purest expression of performative toughness that has come to characterize the 2nd Trump term's media strategy - and deleting logs to erase the evidence. We've long shown (and this persists we'll before the Trump term) that we won't punish political leadership for breaching security protocols, so why would Hegseth feel the need to obey any law? He knows he would either get a pardon or have everyone ignore it.

I'm wondering what Trump will do. The initial instinct is to say that he'll stick by Hegseth and simply rely on his tried-and-true technique of lying and claiming the media fabricated the story. Trump expended a lot of political capital to get Hegseth appointed and a new SecDef would require another Cabinet hearing. With the chaos from his ill-conceived tariffs and his popularity rapidly sinking, that would be a fight he would be ill-equipped to win. In the previous scandal, Trump doubled down partially to deny "giving the liberal media a scalp," so he might do the same here.

On the other hand, Hegseth is very quickly becoming a liability. Trump believes loyalty is one way and will happily throw a scapegoat to the wolves if he sees an advantage to it. To him, all people are ablative - he sheds them like Trekkie ablative armor. If he thinks Hegseth is dragging him down and not accomplishing his desired job, then he would easily get rid of him.

We'll have to see. If the House wanted to be big boys, they'd threaten impeachment procedures. But by far the funniest thing would be Donnie creating a Signal chat to discuss Hegseth's replacement and accidentally adding him.

Thanks for the question, Anon.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of thr King

[thedarkjerg]

A reset button is hit, durge is reliving the events of the absolute crisis. Only this time durge knows everything.

(The astral prisim, it's occupants, shadowheart's secret, astarion's vampirism, gale's folly etc.)

Just like before, ketheric is defeated.

The party is on their way to baldur's gate.

Durge knows they're about to meet gortash. And orin.

They're at worms rock fortress, a steel watcher stops them, gortash takes over, welcomes durge back and invites them to his inauguration.

Gortash: crawling back from their bloody disgrace, it's my favourite assassin, God's you're sight for sore eyes.

Durge: I have ketheric's netherstone. You want us to be allies.

Gortash: it's like you read my mind.

Orin said you lost your memories, is it true?

Durge: no, I remember everything.

Gortash: I thought so too. But enough small talk, let's talk about about the netherstone you carry, you know it takes-

Durge: all three to control the brain?, yes I know.

Gortash: well then. You must know about the quakes, and how we need orin's netherstone.

Durge: yes. You need me to kill my sister.

Gortash: if you don't kill orin, she'll kill you. I cannot have that, she will bring this city to ruins. I want to bring this city glory-

Durge: not scorch it's earth?

Gortash: how did you?, nevermind. Orin changes shape faster that you and I change clothes, she could be anywhere-

Durge: death is inevitable for you.

Gortash: I assure you, it is not. If you try to harm me, you will not make it very far, not with my steel watch around. Instead, you should focus on taking orin down, your camp is compromised, one among you is-

Durge: I know.

Gortash: I assumed so. Seems like you know everything.

Durge: if we're to become allies, you will still die.

Gortash: why?, if you agree to be and ally of mine, what is the need to kill me?

Durge: I never said I'm going to kill you. The netherbrain however, will.

Gortash: the netherbrain?, so you know that the elder brain is growing.

Durge: I know much more. The brain is beyond our control, these netherstones, they do not control the brain, the brain is playing you for a fool.

Gortash: you're delusional, the stones are how we control the brain.

Durge: I assure you they don't. They liberate the brain.

Gortash: I don't believe you.

Durge: if you want to live, you'll have to believe me.

Gortash: is that what you were doing all this time, when you abandoned us, did you join forces with the brain, to betray us, is that why you killed thorm, to keep the netherstones for yourself?. I suppose it runs in the family, orin is following in your footsteps.

Durge: I am not orin, I know the value of alliance. I wouldn't betray you, nor would I abandon you. I was ambushed by orin and tadpoled. Because of the astral prism, I can't be a thrall, the same prism that appeared in your dream.

Gortash: how do you know about that?

Durge: the netherbrain is using you gortash, once you've played your part, it will kill you. You never had control over the brain. It only made you think that, you are a pawn, a servant to the grand design.

Gortash: that is ridiculous.

Durge: your lord will not aid you. Once perished, your soul will be tortured. Listen to me. Do not approach the netherbrain. Not while we carry the netherstones.

Gortash: I don't understand, the crown was inverted, it was certain that we could dominate the wearer.

Durge: The wearer is the one dominating.

Gortash: how could this be?

Durge: I haven't got the foggiest.

Gortash: how do I know you're not lying?

Durge: believe me, I'm practically saving your life.

Gortash: this is unexpected, almost planned, you disappear right when our plan took place, and now you're back telling me I'm a thrall to the brain. Your timing is impeccable.

Durge: what are you saying, gortash?

Gortash: you were the one who placed the crown on the brain, perhaps you're extracting the stones from orin and I, so you can dominate the brain and fulfill your father's plan.

Durge: now you're delusional.

Gortash: am I?, you'd do anything for your father, this could be your plan all along. Make us think you're dead, so you can successfully orchestrate it from the shadows.

Durge: you just cannot admit that you were wrong about the plan, so you put the blame on me. Failure is not an option for you, but a failure doesn't have options Gortash. Your plan is falling apart.

Gortash: I hardly think it's my plan. Seem like you're the true mastermind.

Durge: this is a lot for you to take in, I will give you time to digest the information I have given you. But just remember, if i wanted you dead, I would've done so, a long time ago. Yet here I am, warning you, if you do not listen to me, you will fall.

[metalichotchoco]

Honestly what I’d like to see in more ihnmaims media if we ever get any is the relationships between survivors, here’s my take, picking and choosing from each version of canon.

Ellen is the most stable so her relationships will be saved for another part

In the triangle that is ted, Gorrister and Benny it’s a vicious cycle

Ted and Benny have a complicated mutual hate towards one another they both play to their most deep insecurities. Ted already believes that everyone hates him due to being “better” or not broken the way they’ve been so it’s not hard for him to antagonize people anyways. For Benny’s part ted provokes his complexes about sexuality, animalisticness and the difference between the weak and strong. For as much as ted is a lying narcissistic criminal, he’s shameless about it, about his nature he cares about the consequences not the actions. Benny cannot own his actions at all, there’s a disconnect between the educated, handsome former general and professor and the aggressive,almost feral war criminal he is. Ted is very self centered but doesn’t handle slights to his ego well, Benny in his non mutated form is much more successful and traditionally attractive than him. God he even deludes himself into thinking am changed Benny’s “size” in the book. Both of their moralities are twisted and it’s not hard to imagine them being snippy when they both have the mind to think properly. They are also coincidentally am’s favorite victims.

I do think it would be in character for both of them to make snide remarks about gorrister’s former hippie status, he’d be seen as an extreme liberal since this book takes its characters from the dawn of the Cold War, just after ww2. Most of Benny’s pride and identity came from being in the military so that’s obvious to see how that’d pan out, whereas ted seems like the type to not care about politics unless it directly relates to him. His problems come from the idea of people not centering their lives around money or power.

Individually there’s some fun dynamics to be had. Ted in general would think gorrister is a bore. For a person who likes stories, ted finds non fiction exhausting. Gorrister likes talking about history and politics even though his spark has faded out. It’s a bit funny that Ted believes am has changed Gorrister too despite his symptoms sounding much more like being worn out and becoming depressed. It’s not like he’d really consider that a real condition though. Gorrister just finds ted to be a bit annoying. An attention seeker but he figures ted was always just a weird kind of guy.

Gorrister is mostly ambivalent to his forever roommates, though he would consider Benny a war dog past his prime. A key example of what happens to soliders, men forced to kill and then given power. Then as soon as it’s given, it’s taken away and you’re left with an unstable pitiable person. How could they go back to living a normal life after that. With am being a literal war machine made by the government Benny put so much trust in, he finds it poetic in a sober way. Benny finds Gorrister very confusing, he never understood protesters before anyways. He would’ve found him preachy if he had met him beforehand. Gorrister does threaten his masculinity though, like ted he’s a brand that’s not the ultra traditional that he’s built himself around. Gorrister freely admits that he’s had queer experiences while still carrying a traditional masculine job, a truck driver. He can’t be put into that stereotypical box that’s nice and safe for Benny. It’s also good to mention that Benny is soothed by gorrister’s stories even if in that scene he wasn’t fully there.

Both ted and Gorrister see the clear closet case that is Benny but they don’t act on that knowledge. Both of them believe that being a solider sucks but for different reasons. Ted thinks it’s for suckers who get caught up in manipulation tactics going on about morals. Gorrister also believes they are manipulated but also sees the horrors of war as that, horrors. Basically he takes a more empathic view. Gorrister and Benny both agree that Ted is annoying but not in the way ted himself thinks everyone hates him. He’s very loud and shows off his now eternal youth. They are not even sure if the man did or did not graduate college. Gorrister doesn’t mind breaking laws but he does care about people’s wellbeing whereas Benny’s stricter about following the script but he’s done worse so he doesn’t have room to talk.