#How Do I Know If My Reiki Is Working

[ms-demeanor]

fully understand and agree about reiki and prayer and herbs and the rest of that bullshit, but i'm a little confused as to how chiropractic care got lumped in with those

Chiropractors are quacks, full stop.

There is nothing that a chiropractor can do for you that a physical therapist couldn't do better or that a massage therapist wouldn't be able to assist with.

There are specific conditions that can cause joint subluxation, but unless you have one of them, your joints are probably perfectly fine where they are and if they are not that is something that would be better (and more safely) assessed by someone who is actually qualified to provide some variety of medical care (which chiropractors are not, they are licensed to provide chiropractic care, which is pseudoscience on your spine, which is a bad place to do pseudoscience). And if you do have those conditions you shouldn't let a chiropractor touch you with a ten foot pole because you are at even *more* risk of harm from spinal manipulation than the general population is.

When I was in college and didn't have health insurance and was working at a coffee shop I couldn't afford $150 out of pocket to go see a doctor, but I could afford $45 to see a chiropractor.

What the chiropractor didn't know - because she wasn't a doctor and didn't have the diagnostic tools for this kind of thing - was that I didn't have back pain because my spine was out of place, I had back pain because I had a bone tumor in my spine, and her adjustment fractured one of my lumbar vertebrae.

When I did get insurance I finally figured out what was wrong (after using a cane and dealing with excruciating back pain from my cracked spine I had to quit my job at the coffee shop because I couldn't reliable stand on shift) when I got an MRI. The pain was treated with muscle relaxants, oral steroids, and physical therapy, none of which would have broken my fucking back.

Chiropractic, even when practiced "competently" by an expert with the most modern and most rigorous scientific training available, is still more dangerous and less effective than other interventions. All of which is aside from the fact that there are a shitload of chiropractors out there who will claim to treat asthma and autism, which they can't do and are shitty for claiming to be able to do.

Top to bottom, all through its history, chiropractic is a scam that hurts more people than it helps and because of our fucked up medical care in the US specifically has been largely predatory on people who can't afford real treatment for their illnesses and injuries.

Also, if you are ever going to see a chiropractor - though i wish you wouldn't - never, ever, ever, EVER let them manipulate your neck. Chiropractic spinal manipulation of the neck can lead to severing the arteries in your neck, causing a stroke. This HAS killed people, and as long as chiropractors keep doing it, it will kill more people.

Fuck - and I cannot emphasize this enough - chiropractic.

[martian-astro10]

D9/ Navamsa chart observations - Part 3

Jupiter in 9th is a great placement, even better if it's the 7th lord or darakaraka in d1. Your spouse will be intelligent. there's also a chance that you may do your master's or PhD after marriage. Your spouse can also have a job related to spirituality (one of my mom's friends has this placement and his wife is a reiki healer and also teaches meditation and hypnosis)

Jupiter in 10th is another really good placement. You and your spouse could start a business together, or you may meet them in your workplace. This is one of the placements that indicate that you'll earn more after marriage or once you start working WITH them (okay, so this example is interesting, i dont know how many of you know this, but there's an Indian company, dabur, and one of my relatives got married to the daughter of the brother of the guy who currently owns the company and let me tell you something, they are RICH RICH RICH, and like they helped my relative set up his own company and whenever we visit them, they give us such expensive gifts, you won't even find them anywhere, like custom made stuff) so if other factors support this, then you can get married into a super rich household

Venus conjunct ketu in 4th is a super common placement but I've noticed that it gives different results depending on what the ascendant is. A common prediction would be, that you guys will not get along with your spouse's family, you're gonna think that they waste too much money when they already have less of it. This is especially true for mother in law (I know a girl with this placement whose mother in law spends a lot on shopping and then asks for money from her, and she has to give in because divorce is not an option) i would recommend you guys to marry someone who doesn't have a mother 🥲

I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE WITH MERCURY IN 8TH and it's so fascinating how it has the same exact effect on everyone. Okay, so this placement gives you 2 things, first, you'll gain a lot of money through joint accounts with your spouse, this could also be a marriage where you guys stay together just for money, a lot of celebrities have this placement. Second, your spouse is gonna hide things from you, like their salary (i know a woman with this placement and her husband was promoted and he told his wife that he was still doing the low pay job and he opened another account where he saved that extra money, while their family was having financial difficulties and stuff, it was a BIG deal)

Mercury in 11th is a nice placement, this could indicate a friends to lover type of story with your spouse. They could also be an extrovert, especially if mercury is in gemini. You guys will be focused on earning money but your whole focus won't be on money, like in 2nd or 8th house, it's gonna be more like "oh, this looks like a good idea, should we invest in this" kinda thing, i would say this is more like, both practical and romantic relationship

Moon in 8th..... Not exactly the best placement. Almost all the people that i know with this placement have been cheated on by their spouse, and again your spouse could hide things from you, but this time it's more emotional. Also, i have noticed that a lot of people with this placement marry someone who's in the closet, so their partner isn't affectionate and loving towards them and they think it's their fault but it's not, but it still ends up hurting them. You, yourself, could hide your feelings as well, and your spouse can see that and that's why they hide THEIR emotions, it's like a cycle. (if you have this, i would recommend you guys to go to therapy, heal your trauma and only then get into a serious relationship and sometimes you push your feelings down and you think you're over it, but you're not)

Mars in 8th can give very different results, but it does give you a spouse who is very sexual (and believe me, it's not always a good thing). If Mars is strong then it gives extremely good results, the ability to defeat your enemies and win, i know a person with this placement and she's a woman and people around her have always tried to ruin her life and she still managed to get up and is now living a great life. But if Mars is weak or worse, debilitated, then it can give an aggressive spouse, i know a person but i dont think i should share her story with you all, but if Mars is weak then... Don't marry. BUT if 7th lord and darakaraka of d1 is SUPER STRONG in d9 then go ahead.

Venus in 2nd is like okay okay, not bad but not good. I feel like this placement works better when it's in the cart of a man rather than a woman. The spouse will be good but will be more focused on earning money, even if they're already rich. From what I've seen, men are okay with wives like that, but women aren't, they need emotional security so being with a man who is focused on money makes them sad and lonely, whereas, men with this placement are more than happy to get wives like that, In MY opinion.

Sun conjunct ketu in 11th is another placement that is common, I know a lot of people with this. So, you will gain wealth but it's going to come very slowly, the type to MAKE generational wealth but not able to enjoy it. Also, i have noticed that these people always end up marrying someone who is in a lower position than them, career wise and so they support their spouse and at the same time take most of the financial responsibility of the family.

Ketu in 8th is SUCH a strong indicator of having a kid before marriage, or atleast getting pregnant. All the celebrities who've had a kid before marriage have this placement, Angelina Jolie and Shakira are two that i currently remember but I've seen it in the charts of a lot more. And listen, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS, OKAY.

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[cosmicdream222]

Welcome ✨

Call me Cosmic. she/her. Millennial.

I blog about manifesting, loa, reality shifting, the void, etc. If that isn’t your cup of tea, peace out 👽 Asks & DMs are open as long as you are kind & respectful but please read through the FAQ before asking anything!

★ About me ★

I started making aff tapes & subliminals for myself & sharing them here on tumblr in the fall of 2023, and began posting on yt in April 2024.

YouTube channel 📌Previous pinned

Void, shifting & loa stuff compiled from others

The void explained in an old reiki book

An interview with a shifter who has been time-leaping since 2001

The void explained by a lucid dreaming instructor

Near-death experience & manifesting

Misc inspiration from loa twitter

More motivation from loa twitter

Just desire, intend & know it's possible

The universe is a giant hologram

You already have it all

Master Shifter Love Remix Series

How shifting works (the whole package)

Shifting is a law - so treat it like one

Shifting is the least special thing in the world

Shifting/manifesting is not your job

You deserve everything you want

Vanilla explains: Past Lives, Death & Afterlives

Resources, Challenges & Methods

DMT breathwork to enter the void

Wake up with your dream life: affirm & relax challenge

EFT tapping script

Manifesting is not a process challenge

What is Psych-k?

The Phase Basics

SSILD for lucid dreaming

Tips for lucid dreaming

Dream life script Google doc template

My OG void concept aff tape

My Void state subs on Google drive

Full desired appearance & beauty sub

Saturating session with my cats

FAQ: Read these before sending a question!

"Can I manifest...?"

YES. It doesn't matter what it is: the answer is always yes. You can manifest anything you want. Anything!

I will no longer be answering any questions about deadlines/time

About me & my personal experiences & successes

The time I entered the void before I knew what the void was

How do you personally manifest?

Have you entered the void?

Backstory about me and this blog

A quick example on affirming to combat negative thoughts

Success: reconnected with sp after 8+ yrs NC

My mom got super fast subliminal results?!

Manifesting/shifting/void 101

What is the state of the wish fulfilled?

A reminder not to create stories around unwanted circumstances

What is the void?

How do we manifest?

States are not a method

Persisting does not mean repetition

How do I persist properly?

Does robotic affirming work?

What is a saturating session?

Is birds before land a thing?

How do I improve my visualization skills?

How can I manifest in a scientifically proven way?

Doubts/fears/troubleshooting

The void is hard for me, any tips?

How can shifting be simple when it’s so hard for me?

Is shifting real?

What happens to my current self after shifting?

When we manifest are we shifting to a new reality?

When I manifest something, will other people see it too?

How long does it take to see results?

How can I stop obsessing about results?

I’m scared I’m abandoning/betraying people in this reality when I shift/enter the void

Why do some people fail?

What am I doing wrong?

I have doubts, what if this doesn’t work?

How do I convince the logical part of myself?

How can I ignore my toxic/negative circumstances?

What should I do if I’m overthinking?

Funnies :)

The affirming carrot

Me not reacting to 3D circumstances like

[writtenicarus]

a serious post for the marauders fandom - please reblog, share etc.

hello marauders fandom! it has come to my attention that there is something this fandom seriously needs to address and i think im going to have to be the one to do it. PLEASE stop using Reiky De Valk as your james fancast. you may be asking me why em? why are you so angered? Reiky took his own life on september 24th, 2023. and whilst yes of course it is necessary to remember him in his work in the film industry and not how he passed - it is incredibly disrespectful to address him as james or fabricate something he was not. he was a brilliant, talented and amazing man. he was not james potter.

alongside this, many people claim to headcanon james as desi whilst using Reiky. Reiky was not desi, he was vietnamese, dutch and somalian. notice how he's a real person? he had passions, talents and loved ones. his funeral was one of the saddest things i ever watched. and unlike the majority, i loved him for who he was and not what he brought to us. i watched the funeral, and i think of him.

and yet some of you, i bet, did not even know this.

i have seen people become incredibly rude and ignorant when i have informed them of this, but it is something i just cannot stand for.

Reiky deserves to be remembered for who he was. not who we made him.

5th march 2000 - 24th september 2023

[creature-wizard]

Someone once asked me how I use psychology in my witchcraft, and I never got around to answering it. So I figured I should do that.

The basic answer is that I ask myself, "does this take advantage of something we know about how the human mind works; or might it have psychologically unhealthy consequences?"

For example, I remember reading somewhere that washing up can make people feel as if they've been emotionally or spiritually cleansed. So if someone asks how they can move past a bad point in their life, I'm probably going to recommend some kind of bath or shower ritual.

I also know that our subconscious minds process information and often come to fairly reasonable conclusions without our even realizing it. So if someone's having difficulty making a choice even after doing the best possible research they can, or where there's just no objectively "best" choice, I might suggest using a pendulum to sort it out.

I know that the brain tends to internalize repeated information, so I'm down with healthy affirmations.

I know that people respond to symbols, both consciously and subconsciously. So if someone wanted to feel more confident, I see no reason why creating a spell jar full of things associated with confidence wouldn't provide some benefit if they kept it in a visible place.

I know that energy healing practices can at the very least help people relax. While I would never, ever suggest that someone pays huge amounts of money or uses energy healing in place of evidence-based medicine (never use anything to replace evidence-based medicine), I'm down for using the techniques on yourself or on your friends, or watching ASMR reiki videos on YouTube.

And on the other hand, I don't really put much stock in spells or practices that target an unaware third party. For example, I don't think death or misfortune curses are especially likely to work. I also think that in some cases, they might just reinforce a fixation on revenge that actually hinders the caster's path to emotional healing and finding healthy coping mechanisms.

So yeah, that about sums up how I view magic though a psychological paradigm - I ask myself how a technique might take advantage of something we know about the human mind, and whether it might have psychologically unhealthy consequences.

[thrashkink-coven]

Genuine Red Flags in Spiritual Books, Grimoires, Occult Teachers or Mentors

Very often I see folks talking about things they consider to be red flags for beginners when entering witchy or occult spaces. Here are a few of the things that I’ve noticed over the years that will immediately make me put down a book or step away from a practitioner.

1. Claiming they know every thing about every sect of spirituality / occultism or witchcraft

Simply put, there is no one person who knows the deep inner workings of every craft, of every philosophy, of every practice. The guru that claims to know everything from Reiki to Jewish Mysticism to Native American Spirituality to Voodoo to Acupuncture to Chakra Healing, Tarot, Herb Wizardy, Alchemy, etc etc etc. No. They are lying. Even the most dedicated and wise practitioners devote years into understanding a philosophy or spiritual practice. And especially in regards to closed practices, it is impossible for one person to have read and done it all. Either they are straight up lying or presenting brief skimming over texts or conversation as “years of experience and practice”. No.

2. Constantly trying to convince the reader that they are a God, deity or some inhuman creature like a cosmic elf, mermaid, or angel

Now I don’t mean to confuse this with the idea that some Luciferian or Satanic spaces may adopt that all humans are gods in their own right, or you are the god of your own existence. I’m talking specifically about books that try to convince you that you’re actually a lost race of alien who has been trapped in a human body, or has been mistaken into believing they are human. I’m not going to get into my opinions on star seeds or deity ancestry, what I will say is that very often, and I mean uncomfortably often, these ideas are intrinsically tied to supremacist or xenophobic rhetoric You do not have to be an angel to be special and cosmically significant. You don’t have to be an elf to explore herbal magic, people who push these ideas are very frequently praying on those with delusions of grandeur or other dissociative mental disorders and that’s not cool.

3. Using pseudoscience to push miracle remedies. This includes denying things that are provable to push a narrative, like the fact medication can help the mentally ill.

My dears, please fact check what you read. Please see what educated people have to say about these authors before you take everything they say at face value. As many problems and rightful distrust as there is in the medical industry, usually, if a concoction is commonly dismissed by 99% of medical professionals, it’s usually not because they’re trying to cover up the holy grail, it’s because they know it’s… probably not that good for you or simply doesn’t do what it claims.

4. Trying to convince the reader that with enough practice, willpower, and a donation of $9.99 per month, you too can obtain some incredible power that will allow you to airbend, waterbend, firebend, and basically defy all the laws of physics in general!

The point of most occultism, spirituality and witchcraft is not to defy the laws of physics or to obtain some godly power. There most certainly exists the belief in many sects of spirituality that one can influence their reality through training, but I promise you, anybody that is promoting that they can walk on water is trying to make a fool out of you

5. Inability to disagree, contest, or dissent from the opinions of the mentor, teacher, high priest(ess) or leader

This is how cults form, guys. Confirmation bias is a hell of a drug. If the presentation of different ideas or even questions are met with harsh backlash and censorship, you need to get the fuck out of there.

6. Them automatically making the assumption within a very short time of meeting you, usually presented as psychic intuition, that you are suffering and have a “deep sadness” or energy blockage in your soul that only they can fix.

I understand that damaged people often seek mediums and whatnot for help, and sometimes it genuinely brings them ease, that’s fine and good. But so often I have been approached by people online that claim that “the angels have a really important message for me that they can only give after they’ve received an epayment of just a few dollars”. These are obviously scams, but often people who have been trusted for a reading or service in the past will fabricate these stories to trap a costumer in a loop of service. Some of these claims may be genuine but I guarantee you most are not.

7. Sprinkles of Fascism

No you are not superior to other people because you’re spiritually “enlightened”. No you should not separate groups of people or decide who should and shouldn’t procreate. No mainstream society is not being being deceived by the devil, and the devil is not more prevalent in any one group of people, sex, sexuality, gender, or race. You are not the only enlightened one in a world full of lost people. Mentally ill folks are not demons and trans people aren’t energetically unaligned. You will not inherit the Earth while everyone else dies. Uuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shut the fuck up.

8. The claim that ancient societies of people were aliens. Presenting hoaxes and proven scams as evidence of a conspiracy.

This includes things like using documented hoaxes as evidence that aliens built the pyramids. I’m going to be so for real with you guys rn. This is just racism. It’s insane to think the Egyptians were smart enough to build the society they literally lived in, but nobody doubts the validity of the Roman Empire. Crazy concept but maybe Indigenous people of color aren’t savage idiots. And maybe white people aren’t the only ones capable of having societies and interesting architecture. The thing about this that annoys me the most is that… Egyptians still exist today, and the ancestry that dates back to ancient Mesopotamia and Canaan still exist today too. These were human beings, just like us. The alienation of black and brown people proves how little some people see us as normal people.

9. The promotion of practices that are directly harmful. Self mutilation, disorderly eating, or rituals that can induce psychosis or states of mania.

Guess what you actually don’t have to sit on a mountain naked and eat nothing but sunlight to be enlightened. You can definitely do religious or devotional things like fasting within a healthy degree, but I so so often see people promoting things that will very obviously lead to mania and hallucinations just by design. Starving yourself for two weeks while constantly blasting mantras and doing a bunch of psychedelics isn’t enlightenment… it’s a manic episode. While some devotees may feel comfortable offering blood to deities, this should always be in very small ways, a needle poke, not self mutilation.

10. Trying to do business with minors or promote occult topics to children specifically

Just no. I really dislike the idea of selling spells or promoting deity communication to kids still in grade school. They’re trying to manipulate a young mind into believing their dogma or spending their parent’s money. If a parent wants to share their craft with their child, that’s cool, but people who specifically target a younger audience are suspect to me. This isn’t to say spirituality isn’t for kids, it’s just that content that is created for kids is often created to be surface level and profitable in the algorithm.

11. Shitting on New Age Spirituality

Yeah I said it. This to me feels very much like a let’s hate on anything women, especially young women enjoy. Let’s delegitimize their experiences and paint them all as ditzy girls just clanging their crystals together.

There are some things that New Age Spiritualists do that I’m not a fan of, all of the things in this list. However, that doesn’t make this form of spirituality and witchcraft any less legitimate just because it’s somewhat trendy right now. Go fucking howl at the moon and have bon fires with your besties while you do tarot and talk about angel numbers, I don’t give a fuck.

New Age spiritualists aren’t inherently doing anything wrong or different than what ancient cultures have been doing for centuries, it’s just trendy and profitable now. But anything that young women enjoy will inevitably be exploited by the capitalist machine and that is not their fault. Wicca is still a legitimate form of spirituality and witches are not inherently doing anything wrong by being young women. So much of the criticism against NAS is literally just misogyny.

“I’m not into new age spirituality I’m a REAL witch”

omg please shut up

[pastel-peach-writes]

Attracted | KorrAsami x Reader

╰┈➤ PLOT: After a close call of losing the two girls who mean the most to you, you decide it's time to cut the crap and face the music, your feelings.

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: Not Proofread, No Use of Y/N, 3500+ Words

Part One | Part Three

⍣ ೋ Enjoy!⍣ ೋ

Their stares dug into your soul and pulled out every sense of hiding and masking you've held in for the last few years. Their slight frowns, and disappointment in their colored eyes; it was too much for you to bear.

Were you so prideful in keeping your feelings secret that you'd risk losing Korra and Asami? Was it really that serious to let them think you didn't support their relationship?

You didn't know. You had no way to know.

Now the three of you were staring at each other in the courtyard of Air Temple Island. All parties eager for an answer from you.

However, just because they were eager to get an answer from you doesn't mean you had an answer ready for them.

Just now, in this very moment, you realized you had a crush on the two bisexuals. You just realized that going to bed thinking about kissing the both of them, holding their hands, and making them laugh wasn't as platonic as you thought.

You hated to admit it but Bolin was right. You hated when he was right, especially since you're often so stubborn. He was never going to let you live this down now.

But that's something to worry about in the future. Right now you needed to worry about the present. Korra and Asami are staring at you with hurt and almost distant eyes. The longer you let the silencer linger, the deeper you hurt them.

What could you even say or do in this moment? Make up some silly lie? Confess to them right on the spot? Make them think you're not accepting of their love? All three options were terrible. It was a lose-lose-lose situation.

"Uh," you nervously chuckled, scratching the back of your neck. The bright sun on Air Temple island shone into your eyes, nearly blinding you from the sight of the red-and-blue-coded girlfriends. You wondered what color you would be if you were added to the pair. "You know, I think I need to attend one of Tenzin's meditation classes. Learn how to ease up and become one with my chi."

"One with your chi?" Asami echoed.

"Yeah. If I'm so tense all the time and not noticing, obviously something is off. Maybe even wrong with me." You gave them another shrug. "I can't be one of the best members on the Krew and not be one with my chi."

Korra let out a chuckle. "'One of the best members'?" You nodded at her statement, a cocky smile growing on your lips. Korra shook her head, her smile from her chuckle staying on her face as she crossed her arms. "Who said you were one of the best?"

"Oh, isn't it obvious, Avatar?" You mimicked her stance and Asami did the same, matching the teasing smiles on your faces.

"Must not have been," Korra rebutted. "Sounds like you still got some work to do."

You could only laugh at her playful words. Although her statement was true, it was for the wrong situation. You did have some work to do. You had to work through and process your growing crushes on Asami and Korra in hopes you can get over them and have them never find out about your crush.

That should be easy. What's a little crush going to do to you?

-

"You're right," Tenzin said as he waved his palms over your torso. You were serious about taking meditation classes from him. You were too tense, hyper-focused on the sapphic pair. You needed mental clarity and hopefully with mental clarity comes a way to get over them.

The Airbender was using reiki, some form of spiritual healing that used energy and intention to ease the human mind and body. He decided to use the technique on you when you came to him about your stress problem. He said he rarely used this technique but given that you're a new student of his, he decided why not?

The man had his eyes closed and waved his arms and body around as if he were airbending. The only difference is that he wasn't airbending at all and in fact was getting a feel of your stress and anxiety levels. "You are very tense," he continued. "The tension lies within your shoulders and sits in your gut. Your chest, too, is tight. If you were an Airbender, you'd be blocked from your ability entirely. It would take months, maybe even years to remove this type of stress."

You heaved a sigh as the monk opened his eyes and returned to his natural standing stance. "Months"? "Maybe even years"? By the time you mastered your chi or removed most of the stress in your body, Korra and Asami could very well be married. Or even worse, forgotten about you.

It was extreme to think of those two scenarios but it's what your mind went to. You're doing this to be better for them, not to risk losing your friendship. If it's going to take years to return to the person you were before you started having feelings for them, they were gone for good.

"Well," you said as another sigh escaped your body. "We better get started."

-

Because of your circumstance, Tenzin decided to add airbender training to your "Stress Relief Regimen". Like he mentioned, you would be blocked if you were an Airbender but in addition to the spiritual and worldly connection, Airbenders also have a physical outlet. They use their body to navigate through the winds and courses of life. It acts as another way to release whatever your body is holding in.

It's been a few weeks since you started training with Tenzin and you can admit things are a lot better now. Well, physically. You're still blocked mentally and spiritually, but the airbending training traditions were getting easier for you. You ran into the equipment less and stayed on the balls of your feet more often. Even Jinora was impressed.

You practiced day and night while leaving space to meditate and to connect with nature in between. But the cause of your vigorous schedule to train and relax, you've pulled yourself away from the Krew. You rarely hung out with them outside of work and only said hello to them during meals. Day in and day out, you were training.

It was ironic though. You were training and practicing these techniques to become one with your emotions and get clarity on the KorrAsasmi situation but all the training seemed to be doing was making you avoid them.

You were actively running away and towards your emotions at the same time. How you mastered that skill, not even Tenzin knew.

He watched you prance and elegantly move around the spinning panels on the Airbending arena with your eyes closed and your arms in the offensive position he taught you. While you were physically correct, he could still feel a weight of heaviness and emotion rest on your shoulders and sink into your body.

Korra saw it too. That's why she was here standing next to Tenzin and monitoring your training. She knew Tenzin to be a good teacher so she didn't understand why his training kept you away from the Krew so long.

She already went through that teenage rebellion phase with him so she figured he eased up on allowing you to go out and such. Especially since you're not under his care and a grown adult. And as she watched your practice, she knew Tenzin's methods had changed for the better and the pressure lessened. So, if it wasn't Tenzin keeping you away from her. What was?

When practice was over, there was a meditation session immediately after. It wasn't a one-on-one session like you usually had with Tenzin, but actually an open session for the new Airbenders and anyone who wants to learn more about the art. In fact, it was taught by Jinora. Tenzin wasn't a part of it at all.

Korra assumed you kept your schedule busy with not only Tenzin's agenda but the other Airbenders too. To her it made sense. You're pretty much training to be an Airbender just without the bending. So to her surprise when she walked into the class and saw you weren't there, something was up.

-

"And you're sure they weren't there?" Asami asked as she unmade the bed for the night. She and Korra were in their room, the midnight moon shone through the window and provided natural light for the girls. Korra, just slipping on her white tank, nodded.

"Yup. Now we know Tenzin isn't keeping them away from us. I think it's them who wants to stay away from us." Korra's feet shuffled across the wooden floor, her tush melting into the mattress after she plopped.

"Come on." Asami frowned. "They're not like that. I'm sure it's something else." The paler woman sat beside Korra and placed a well-manicured hand on her shoulder. Korra only sighed again with her head hung low. "They haven't even spoke to Mako and Bolin and they're like brothers to them."

Korra shrugged. What Asami was saying made sense but there was something deeper going on. There was something you weren't telling them and Korra was killing herself trying to find out. "Does it not bother you either?" Korra's sad blue eyes struck Asami's green. "Don't you miss them? Their laugh and how they used to look at us with those eyes? Like we were the world to them. Now we barely get a glance when we pass each other in the halls or in the street."

Asami sighed. Of course, she did. She missed all of it and how you used to compliment them or poke fun. She missed watching you interact with Mako and Bolin and playing with them like they were your blood kin. She missed so much and more. She only placed a kiss on Korra's cheek and moved some hair behind the Avatar's ear. "Come on. Let's get to bed." -

"Good, now breathe while you lift your leg. Your opposite arm follows." You followed Tenzin's notes, lifting your leg and doing a fan kick while your opposite arm follows. When your arm follows, the momentum carried you throughout the move and when your leg landed on the ground, you spun around and nearly womble to the floor.

"Good," Tenzin said walking through the plush grass. "When you use that move, your weight shifts between your standing leg and then the led that lands on the ground. Because of your arm and force of the air, you spin around and when mastered, it's a great move to switch the play on your opponent." Tenzin then cleared his throat, the tops of his ears going red. "You know. If you airbent."

You gave him a slight chuckle. Almost four months into training and Tenzin still forgets you're not an Airbender sometimes.

"Sorry, force of habit." You waved him off and repeated the move, still stumbling when your lifted leg hits the ground. Tenzin instructed ways to land and poses to land into but no matter the note or correction, you continued to wobble.

"Ugh, I don't get it. I'm doing everything right. I'm making sure I'm light on my toes and transferring my weight between my legs," you complained to Tenzin as you took a swig of water.

The Airbending master interlaced his fingers and held them near his diaphragm. "Well, are you emotionally light? Spirtually, mentally?" You nodded as you wipe excess water from the corner of your mouth.

"Yeah. I mean, I think so? I mediate in the morning, evenings, and join some classes at the other Air Temple. I don't know what I'm doing wrong." You walked over to the cemented benches which were really short walls of concrete painted beige. You took a seat, crossing your legs and placing your heels at the edge of the wall.

"Hm," pondered Tenzin as he followed you to the wall. While he can admit your dedication is impressive, he can't help but feel there's something else blocking you, stopping you from achieving your greatest.

It was similar to what he experienced when training with Korra or his failed attempts at connecting to the spirit world but heavier. Almost as if you were avoiding the emotions that kept you planted deep into the ground. If you were an Earthbender, he predicted you would be one of the best.

"Tell me, young one. Is it possible there's something else bothering you? Perhaps problems with family, friends, work even?" He took a seat by you as you contemplated your answer to him.

You've felt good. The feeling of jealousy or even anxiety changed to what some would call a rock. It was as if a flat rock sheet lay on your chest and stomach. Some had a heart of gold and steel, yours wore stone armor.

You gave him a shrug and sipped your water out of avoidance. Your lack of eye contact, expression, and words told Tenzin everything he needed to know.

You were stuck emotionally and he had a hunch it was about the Avatar and her girlfriend. And perhaps the fact that they weren't your girlfriends. Tenzin wouldn't have come to that conclusion if it wasn't for his older sister, Kya.

One day, Kya came to visit and Tenzin told her all about your training and dedication to the craft despite not being an Airbender. When Kya observed your practicing, she could tell immediately you were struck with something emotionally tolling. Something you took Airbending techniques to work through but ended up avoiding.

She did the same thing with Waterbending when it came to a crush of hers.

Also, Kya overheard the Krew express concern and longing for you. More specifically, she saw the faces of Asami and Korra and how their eyebrows knitted together in hurt and confusion. It was the same face she wore when she found out Lin liked Tenzin.

"You need to talk to them," Tenzin spoke. "Avoidance or whatever you call this dance of yours isn't going to better your ability to meditate or to perform such exercises. In fact, it'll stifle your chances and ruin whatever you have left of your friendships." With a deep sigh, Tenzin put a hand on your shoulder. "Take this from someone who focused so hard on training that he almost lost his family. Isolation is not the key to working through hard emotions. You have to work and realize it's not going to be easy."

When your eyes met Tenzin's, you could see his brows downturned as if he was frowning with them. His eyes glossy yet held this certain look in his eye, as if he saw you as his own. His family.

The look stirred a certain guilt in your stomach. It was the same guilt you felt when you watched the Krew interact while you purposely lingered in the shadows. In hopes of bettering yourself, you ended up self-sabotaging.

"Hey!" Bolin chirped as he strode over to you and Tenzin. You quickly blinked away tears and looked at him with a smile, responding with a greeting. "We're going out to dinner tonight. You coming?"

-

Dinner was nearly normal. The five of you, the Krew and yourself, went to this fancy-ish restaurant where they served everything from Water Tribe food to Fire Nation goods. They also included the more modern dishes that Republic City had to offer.

It was like nothing had changed when you first ate. Everyone was chipper, happily munching on their meals, and cracking jokes like no time had passed between your group.

But then, just as you were almost done with your meal, the mood switched. A metaphorical cloud full of darkness and heavy rain washed over your booth and wind dared to blow you away from your seat.

Korra sighed, putting down her eating utensil and putting her hands on the table in an interlaced fist. "Okay, we have something we need to talk to you about." You barely looked at her to continue. "You've been kinda distant lately and we know it's not because of your training. Tenzin was adamant in easing the intensity of his training schedule, especially now with the new addition to the family and the new Airbenders."

You shrugged for what felt like the fiftieth time today. "I'm taking my craft really seriously. Is that a crime?"

"No," Asami said in a calmer tone that Korra could've given the sass you had in your sentence. "But it worries us. Especially now that you're not even attending Avatar duties anymore. We're a group and we need you. We're empty without you."

You threatened to scoff but instead shoved down the urge with another bite of your food. "I don't know what you want from me."

"Your training was supposed to help you ease up and not be as stressed but it looks like it's doing the opposite," Mako spoke. "You're distant, eat meals alone, and I've never seen someone train so hard for Airbending when you're not even an Airbender."

"Okay, so what? Look, it's my training, my schedule. You guys don't have a clue of what's going on with me so just drop it. Okay?"

Bolin glanced around his table of friends. Nervously picking at his pants, his eyes landed on you and gazed into your eyes. With a tone soft and gentle, he spoke. "So, something is going on."

You sat up a little straighter, eyes on the brown wooden table in front of you. You didn't realize you said that out loud. All that work of being alone and trying not to talk about your feelings nearly came undone with one measly slip-up. "No. Drop it."

"No, we don't want to drop it. What's going on? We can help you." Asami reached a hand out to you but you just snatched your hand away.

The Earthbender at the table sunk down in his seat. He knew what was going on now. He doesn't know why he forgot the last genuine conversation you had just a few months ago.

Your crush on Korra and Asami were eating you alive. What was supposed to be an outlet became a distraction. A distraction from the possibility of hurt, rejection, and loss. If he remembered this earlier, he wouldn't have suggested this confrontation dinner.

The only person who could help you in this situation is yourself and Bolin could see you didn't want that. Not anymore at least. You were perfectly fine losing your friends if it meant the protection of your relationship and feelings.

Although, it's a bit counteractive letting your friends slip away just to avoid a blowup over emotions you couldn't control. Bolin wasn't going to let that slide.

The Krew's been in messy romance drama before. What's a little more? They've prevailed over three times and they could do it again.

"I'm sorry," you took money from your pants and placed enough to cover your meal on the table, "but you can't help me with this. I'm sorry."

Following your departure, Bolin followed you out of the restaurant. Your friends exclaimed and called out for the both of you, but you were too far to hear and well Bolin, he was on a mission.

You stumbled behind yourself as Bolin took hold of your wrist and snatched you back. Your eyes met his, the orange-yellow lighting of the restaurant shining through the windows and making the sidewalk glow.

"You don't have to do this," Bolin spoke in a whisper. "You don't have to hide and pretend you're something you're not just to avoid rejection."

You pull your wrist out of his grip, your brows knitted defensively. "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not avoiding anything."

"Please, I've seen it multiple times before. I lived it. The crushes you have on Korra and Asami won't change anything. They won't be weirded out or throw you out of the friendship if that's what you're worried about." The green in Bolin's eyes sought out to comfort you. As before, he kept his voice gentle and nurturing. "Crushes are scary and can leave you vulnerable but you shouldn't avoid your feelings because of it. You'll end up holding things in, the hurt turning into resentment, and the resentment turning into hate."

The Earthbender's palm found its place on top of your shoulder. Like his eyes, voice, and now touch, Bolin comforted you. His words, though similar to Tenzin's, had more meaning. You've seen Bolin get rejected before and heard horrific stories but he never let the embarrassment get to him. He learned, grew, and eventually got the partner of his dreams.

You patted his hand. "That means a lot. I'll try, okay? I can't promise it's going to be a good try, but I'll try and face my feelings instead of avoiding them and letting them turn into something ugly."

Bolin smiled, the joyous expression reaching his eyes. "Good. You won't regret it and you'll always have me to lean on. Don't forget that." Before you could say anything else, he pulled you in for a bear hug and lifted you off the ground.

Maybe Bolin was right. Facing your feelings head-on would make them less scary and who knows, maybe Korra and Asami would get a confession out of it.

To Be Continued. (Last part coming soon!) | Part One

WC: 3,569

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

To clarify,I don't believe in porn makes you evil and I don't believe in like fantasies are evil. I'm pulling this quote off Scarleteen "“If we aren’t both careful and creative we can get stuck in fantasies that don’t mature and politicize with us."" I'm also new to being about to vote, so I'm trying to be careful about what I consume and what stereotypes media perpetuate. Like I'm not moralizing about kink or anything, and my ask was how can I get aroused with media wo my kinks or wo media

hi anon, welcome back! I'm genuinely very glad to hear some follow up.

for anybody who doesn't stay vigorously up to date with all of my anons, this ask is a continuation of this one.

so I went and checked out the Scarleteen articles you mentioned in your first message, or at least I tried to. How to Approach Sexual Fantasies and Desire on Your Own Terms is here, and while I couldn't find anything with the exact title 50 Shades of Abuse, we do have 50 Shades of BS - How to Tell the Difference Between Kink and Abuse as well as 50 Shades Crappier: On Selling Abuse for Valentine's Day, both of which cover how the 50 Shades series isn't a great model of real, responsibly-practiced BDSM.

now, here's what I didn't see in any of these articles: an assertion that anybody needs to, as you've decided to do, avoid any work that depicts anything less than perfectly healthy sexual practices.

the closest we get to that is the quote by adrienne maree brown from How to Approach Sexual Fantasies, which you mention above. now, here's the thing: first of all, I actually disagree pretty substantially with brown's assertions that one's sexual fantasies need to "politicize." I know what my politics are; the fiction that I enjoy can't change that, because I don't have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. I actually just talked about that earlier today in another ask.

(also, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but adrienne maree brown is kind of a dork who doesn't really say much of anything in Pleasure Activism that Audre Lorde didn't already say better and more succinctly, and I personally lost interest in Pleasure Activism pretty much the moment she casually dropped that she practices reiki healing because that's a pseudoscientific alternative medicine that doesn't do shit or fuck. but I digress.)

listen, I'm not trying to peer pressure or bully you into watching anything you don't want to watch. your porn consumption is up to you. but what you're doing here is absolutely moralizing, I think maybe because of an underlying assumption that media that involves sex is just, like, innately different than any other type of media, which is in itself an idea that stems from sex negativity!

I don't know, let's just try to play out a little thought exercise here. like, would you consider it reasonable if somebody told you that they've decided not to read or watch anything that depicts problematic behavior because they don't want to normalize it. like, first of all, they're never watching anything but Bluey again. except actually not even Bluey because I just remembered about Bluey in the genocide, which actually makes for a great illustration of how nonsensical and impossible it is to try to only engage with media that is 100% ideologically pure.

and again: that's fine! that's literally fine! it is 100% okay to watch or read or play things with morals that don't totally 100% align with yours. it's okay to enjoy them, even. it's a lot healthier than trying to avoid upsetting or incongruous things entirely, because that gives you the chance to actually think about it rather than trying to shut it out entirely! that article actually provides an entire list of questions you can run through with yourself to critically analyze the things you watch if you feel so inclined! that's a much better skill to practice than avoidance!

I get that when you're new to sex, as you said in the previous ask, this might seem daunting, but your brain isn't just a sponge that will uncritically soak up and adopt anything you expose it to. you very clearly have the ability to research, differentiate between fiction and real life, and form your own opinions! and it is absolutely fine if you want to just watch porn with your kinks!

like, listen, I see what the question is, and the easiest answer is just. do whatever gets you off.

[ccccatttta]

hey i noticed you use reiky de valk as your james fancast (if it's not him, my apologies—still glad either way to get this important message out). just letting you know that it's extremely disrespectful to do so (you can learn more at this post https://www.tumblr.com/writtenicarus/752454518504128512?source=share, the contents of which I've partially copied onto this ask)

reiky took his own life on september 24th, 2023. and whilst yes of course it is necessary to remember him in his work in the film industry and not how he passed - it is incredibly disrespectful to address him as james or fabricate something he was not. he was a brilliant, talented and amazing man. he was not james potter. alongside this, many people claim to headcanon james as latino whilst using reiky. reiky was not latino. he was dutch, vietnamese, and somalian.

im hoping the fandom will think of how terrible his family might feel seeing his face plastered on posts that have nothing to do with him or his work

thanks.

even tho i do not use reiky as my james fancast (mine is michael cimino, if any of y'all were wondering!) i'll still leave this here just in case.

[thespirtualist25]

How can you use opportunities and your strengths 🧿

This is a general guidance, only take what resonates to you and leave the rest.

To book a personal reading - check my pinned post and i also do reiki healing sessions.

Pile - 1 . You guys can manifest easily, also get worn out mentally. You might encounter mean people at work area which drains you. I am don't worry and work hard. The hard work will pay off, the lesson is of confidence that is attached to your career life right now. Spirit channel solutions through your logic. Your work can be very hectic, underpaid and not in good working conditions. I also see few of you are being called you follow your soul purpose - this message is for specific people if you feel something when you read this line then the message is for you. Your strength are you can read people well, easily analyse what will happen, you are not scared to put your full efforts. What you need to keep in mind is - try not letting others take away credit of your work. Someone who can be your friend is a fox and not your friend. More like not loyal I got a lot of gossips too. That friend just use you for favours. I also feel you are quite ambitious. You can manifest your dreams easily. The career field relates to - travel, water, writing, poetry, printing, research, history & monuments can be good for you. Later on you will be getting more clarity on what you find happiness in doing. Some of you can be pilot too, will have to disconnect from some of the people in your life and will be forming new relationships. Your current relationship might not work out - if your partner has a lot of ego. I do see you need to see how people treat you. You are really missing the point on how and why people treat you. That's a gist of how they feed off your energy. Next 12 months are essential for your career. Create vision board , save money and manifest. Your manifestation will come true in upcoming 2-3 years.

Pile - 2. Love is entering in your life in the next 10 to 11 months you will be in a committed relationship. This person will be older than you and for some of you this will be your future spouse ( spirit strictly said some of you not all) . The person can be Taurus, Aquarius and libra. Some of them can have scorpio in major placements. Your connection with the divine is very strong. Your partner can be met through your professional network and at workplace or while travelling. You will travel a lot with this person. The person is practical af and will keep on your feet. So next year January you can expect to meet them I know late. As per your career you guys are used to Underestimating your potential. And you need to get clarity in terms of your goals. Your career can be slightly different from your plans. However your plans will help you keep the foot forward. I do see you need to stop beating around the bush and I also feel some of you need to speak positive affirmations, eat home cooked food, get positivity to make your subconscious mind as such. You are hesitant to align with your goals. You can be very artistic and creative , imaginative and dreamy and also innovative. This is your strength. You get the best ideas in solitude and work best while being calm. You have to stop being indecisive and take your own decisions. Upcoming months along with this can be hard emotionally so you might need a practical advice. Go out to clear your mind and have your own me time. Don't make promises you can't fulfill. Your will power and understanding is your strength. For career you have to be ready to put action and mentally stop self sabotaging. So that you clear the illusions you have created.

Pile - 3. Stop questioning yourself, you do question yourself a lot. You might feel and tell yourself you will always be stuck in the same situation. You have to prioritise your wants. I do feel you are getting a lot more prosperity. Also you need to fear less otherwise you will lose motivation to pursue your goals or others can take advantage of the situation. Your aggression will be very powerful for you. Take physical action don't delay this is the message I get. The world needs your idea. Your future is secure although you are in an insecure position. Some promotions are coming for a few of you. Don't trust people easily with your emotions. I can also feel the spiritual awakening is around the corner for most of you especially males. It could be male in your family so do support them I got this message. Stop fearing failure you are creating more blockages then are there. Wear black tourmaline this will help you at work. And also some people have hidden intentions at work don't trust or help everyone who approaches you - this particular message is not for all but for some of you. Try to work on your emotions so you don't falsely blame yourself.

[jadedbirch]

Last year, shortly before Halloween, I got a call from one of my best friends, let's call him L. His husband was back in the hospital, his metastatic cancer out of control again. We've been fighting this fight for 3 previous years. I've known his husband, let's call him R, for over 20 years, because that's how long they've been together. 15 years my senior, R had been in many ways the big brother and the gay uncle I've always needed in my life. The previous year, when R was feeling better and my wife and I were working from Rome, L&R came to stay with us for a week. R said it was his bucket list trip and we went balls to the wall to make it the most awesome experience for him, including private tours of Hadrian's Villa and horse drawn carriage rides through Old Town Rome.

By October 2023, this Roman trip in October 2022 felt like a distant past. How could things have deteriorated so quickly? But that's metastatic cancer for you. It turns on a dime and devours without mercy.

We spent Thanksgiving 2023 in and out of the hospital so that we could spend more time with R and provide support for L. Even realizing it was hopeless, R asked me to give him Reiki. I hoped that by sharing energy healing with him, I was also able to share my love in some small, tangible way. I felt so helpless. I had spent the prior 3 years pulling strings with all my scientific and medical connections to get him the best possible care. Not trusting in conventional medicine, I became a certified energy healer and a Reiki Master FOR HIM. And after so much fighting, was it really going to be for nothing?

A few days after Thanksgiving R was discharged, but it wasn't because he was better. It was because there was nothing else the doctors could do for him. Not that this is what was said - they still spoke of continuing his radiation treatments, even though it became increasingly obvious that there was no longer a way to get his cancer under control. It had overrun all of his major organs, including the lungs and the liver.

I was in the middle of a conference for work when L called me again. He said R was raving and paranoid and had told L to get out of their house. That was the day I stopped praying for God to save him and started praying for him to die as quickly as possible.

It happened the night of December 8, 12 days before L's 45th birthday. We rushed to their house the next day. It was the middle of Channukah and L, who is also Jewish, lit the menorah, and we talked of how in Jewish tradition dying on a Holy Day was a sign of righteousness. R, who was a recovering Catholic most of his life, was certainly one of the most Righteous people I had ever known. He gave off real Mother Gaia vibes, turning every arid patch of land into a blossoming garden. He nurtured us as he would have nurtured his flowers.

So, why am I writing about all this now? My wife and I just went back to Rome and it was like a punch in the face. Being flooded with all those memories of R&L there with us back in 2022, how happy we were, how hopeful things seemed. How quickly it was gone. Now, with the holidays sneaking up on me, that means the 1st anniversary of R's death, and how impossible it will be to experience Halloween, Thanksgiving, Channukah, and Christmas without thinking of how we spent those holidays last year and why. I know grief is non-linear, it folds back on itself like an ourobouros at times, and I suppose this is one of those times, when I feel the loss of him most keenly. And yet, there are times when he doesn't feel gone at all, when I can hear his voice in my head so clearly, making awful, inappropriate, and often morbid jokes, like a court jester laughing at his own execution. And I know he's still with me, an interdimensional being, free of the bounds of his mortal coil, to be wherever he wants to be, and so many places at the same time because time and space mean nothing to a being of light. When you think of death that way, it seems silly to cry, and yet... I think this is also how we heal: we let the light in by letting the tears out.

So, fall and winter 2024 are going to be tough, I see. I guess I can only hope that fall and winter 2025 feel a little bit better, less sharp, less like a punch in the face.*

-------

*This has been written and shared as a form of therapy journaling. While this is personal, you are welcome to share it, if you find it helpful, as long as you do so in a respectful manner.

[excarow]

so I've just binged Sk8 and it's left me wondering what would happen in season two.

Now this is gonna be a bit of a long one, so buckle in.

If we are to get a season two (and I'm definitely not holding my breath) what would be the end goal? Season one was very much Defeat Adam (after Langa learned to skate, and kind of learned to love again), and honestly I think the premise of season two would be similar; defeat the opponent (it is a shounen after all). HOWEVER, I do think there should be a secondary goal:

Reki wins a race.

throughout all of season 1 Reki never wins a race. Hell, Reki never wins anything, which is very strange as he's one of the protagonists. We see he loves skating, he's hardworking and honestly pretty good but we never see any of that rewarded. We almost see him turn into a supporting character for Langa, even as the story continues to revolve around him (not in a bad way, but more in a contrast way)

So honestly, I think Reki deserves a win, and not a win based on luck (like how the weather helped him in his race with Adam) but purely on his hard work.

and how would this work? Easy; training parallels with Joe and Cherry.

If you were to look at them, Reki seems to take after Joe (loud, brash, lovingly stupid) and Langa takes after Cherry (quiet, doesn't show off as much, doesn't want a spotlight) and while you can say that for personalities, for their skating style its the opposite story.

Joe and Cherry are the opposite dynamics of Brawn vs Brains (a tried and true trope) while Langa and Reki are Talent vs Hard-work.

Joe uses his body more, his power and instincts when he skates which is very similar to Langa, who uses he prior 15 years of snowboarding knowledge to shape how he skates. (that and i think he's a prodigy? Don't know if that's true or not)

Cherry on the other hand uses intellect and sharp precision. Which is like how Reiki uses his knowledge on building skate boards to make a board that adapts to Langa's snowboarding style and why he changed his wheels in his race with Adam. (Reki builds skateboards as a job, there is so much potential in that)

so for a hypothetical season 2 it would be nice to see this sort of training dynamic where we see Reki grow confidence in himself and it would be really nice to see he and Langa finally kiss skate together as true equals

ok rant over, sorry the moment i see any kind of opposite dynamics and character parallels i go feral

[thexsanctuaryx]

{ King of Calm }

Summary: Steven takes ridiculously good care of Emma while she's having a rough mental health moment. Pairing: Original Character { Emma Harper } x Steven Grant, mentions of Emma Harper x Marc Spector && Emma Harper x Jake Lockley Contents: fluff, psychic connection, energy healing, hurt/comfort esque, happy ending Warnings: severe mental illness { hallucinations, overwhelm, overstimulation, anxiety, instability } didn't super go into detail in the piece but it's kinda the main part of this one. nothing else really I don't think? Author's Note: Was gonna do some more angst and then I just couldn't last night. This piece had been sitting in my wip drafts for a bit. This one does again, tap on the psychic connection between Emma and the boys that is prevalent in most of my works. They are deeply connected and can communicate telepathically, empathetically, etc. You'll notice Emma is able to hear everything in their minds and vice versa. Word Count: 771

She can feel her mind’s instability, her brain seeming to be sore and weak. As the overstimulation begins to take over more, her breath begins to get more shallow.

Everything is too loud, too bright even as she puts in her earbuds and turns on some music known for its nervous system regulatory effects. She hides her face beneath a pillow to get away from the light.

“You’re up, Steven,” Marc says quietly as he makes his way down the hallway, relinquishing control of the body.

Steven freezes for a moment as he adjusts, mumbling, “Cheers, mate...” He doesn’t pause again until he slides up behind her in the bed, kissing her shoulder firmly.

‘Hello, love…’ he murmurs in her mind softly.

Emma’s quick to scoot back into him, settling into his arms as she tries to focus on any one thing.

He tightens his arms around her, giving another slow kiss to the nape of her neck. He breathes deeply against her, settling a hand onto her abdomen as if silently encouraging her to breathe with him.

She follows suit almost immediately, taking in each inhale with him and releasing it on his exhale.

She squeezes her eyes shut tighter, clutching the pillow over her eyes more snugly.

Steven’s thumb gently grazes over her stomach, releasing a soft sympathetic sound as he attunes himself to her presently chaotic mind.

‘You’re alright, angel—we’ll pull through just like we always do…’ His warm voice resonates through her mind, not wanting to overwhelm her even more.

At his words, she shifts to face him, hugging herself tightly to his front and hiding her face in his neck. One of her earbuds falls out and he’s quick to retrieve it and return it to its place.

He then begins rhythmically stroking his fingers up and down her spine, tucking his head over hers protectively.

Minutes pass as he continues to do what he can to soothe her overstimulation. Truthfully, he’s not sure it’s as effective as he hopes but he doesn’t stop.

She takes what seems to be a much deeper breath on her own, as well that her body seems to unwind a little.

He's relieved to say the least as she continues to slow down, her thoughts quieting.

Emma can feel a low buzz resonating out through her spine into the rest of her body, likewise traveling up into her brain. It feels so nice and so peaceful—not to mention familiar, that she starts to wonder.

She frowns lightly, shifting back away from him just enough to face him.

“Steven…”

“Hmmm?”

“Are you—…did you just—”

His scowl of concentration matches her own, suddenly more worried again, “what is it? Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” She murmurs, a little stunned, “it just felt like you were—…performing reiki…on me…”

“Oh bollocks, did I do it wrong? I was just—I mean—I thought it might ‘elp ya know—take the edge off and—bugger, I didn’t ask for consent first and—”

“Steven—Steven!” She calls gently to him, shaking her head and putting a hand to his cheek. “You didn’t do it wrong…and it did help…” She reassures him, giving him a soft smile.

“When did you learn how to do that?”

“Well, I just—y’know—I find so much of well—what you do, absolutely fascinating and I figured—‘f one ‘ve us knew how to do some of the healing bits it might help, what with y’know your conditions…’course Marc could do with some bloody healing t—”

She can’t help but beam at him as he rambles, silencing him before he can finish by rushing forward to catch his lips.

Steven’s eyebrows shoot up, his lips forming to hers in surprise but quickly moving firmly against them.

His eyes squeeze shut tighter as he shifts to pull her closer, almost completely forgetting everything else for a split second before retreating. Stumbling quietly, “maybe we shouldn’t, ya know…--I mean you aren’t feeling well…”

Emma rolls her lips in, the dimples dipping into her cheeks, her lashes fluttering shyly as she tells him softly, “thank you…”

When she gives him that look, he all but short circuits, getting stuck on her with a lopsided grin at his mouth, half in a daze, “For what, love?”

She pokes him in the chest a few times, timidly, “you know what…”

Quietly in their minds they can both hear a smug, ‘Steven Grant, King of Calm…’

Emma’s eyes flash down, trying to conceal a smile and failing as her cheeks begin to heat.

‘Oh yeah—overstimulation doesn’t stand a chance…’

[mountainmaven]

Just some random thoughts as I know I haven't been very active on here in recent months.

I'm still enjoying volunteering at the library - however I am trying to protect my time a bit more and really limit the days/hours I'm there. Because as of this past Saturday, since March I've volunteered 380 hours. I'm still hoping that it will turn into a paying job next year (I think I'm still hoping for that - it's a little complicated). But we'll see.

My Little Free Library hasn't seen any activity in months but I still update it regularly. I guess I grossly overestimated how much my little community would use it. Honestly since volunteering at the library I should have known better because most of our activity comes from people who don't live up here. Oh well. It's okay, I still like seeing the little library on my property every day.

I'm still working out regularly and feeling so good, and getting strong. I had taken up running in the early summer but had to take a break due to IT band issues that were affecting my knee. But since I've been getting regular massages that has been helping. (so yeah I've started getting massages - the therapist comes to the house - it's SO great!). I hope to start up running again soon. I just need to do it. I honestly never thought I'd enjoy running but even at 56 you can start new things and find out you really like them!

I've also started doing some reiki healing and that's amazing too. I have another session this weekend.

We got our updated flu and COVID vaccine boosters this past Sunday and yesterday I was exhausted. I felt fine, no other symptoms other than an achy arm - but no sick feeling, no headache, no tummy issues - nothing. Just so exhausted that I ended up taking a nap that lasted somewhere between 3 and 4 hours. I have no idea, because I don't know when I fell asleep exactly. I just know I saw the clock at 10:48 AM, next thing I knew my youngest daughter was calling me and it was 3:11 PM.

My spiritual practice is really feeling so natural now, and I love that it's a part of my every day life.

I've started doing art again and that feels wonderful - I don't stress if I'm not doing art every day or whatever, I just let it flow naturally and that's so freeing. Obviously if I was making art to make a living that would be different, but this is just a lovely hobby for me and I'm finally treating it like such.

Reading has been a bit difficult lately, I'm not sure if it's just that my time is being used so differently now that it's harder for me to focus on reading. It doesn't help that I've had a lot of duds lately when it comes to books LOL. But I keep trying and I guess that's what matters right? Again no pressure associated with it and not stressing about it.

I know the world is a massive dumpster fire lately but I can't stress enough the importance of unplugging every now and then and just living your life and doing things you enjoy, and ignoring world events for a bit.

I hope all of you are well, and that you have things in your life that make you feel alive, and happy.

[lapdogchase]

thinking about therapy again bc i knowww i need to be in it. but i think one of my inarguable needs in a therapist is that they see me as an equal? i guess is the best way to put it. and thats not really something you can Ask it's more of a vibes based thing. but like. i hate playing stupid with doctors psychiatrists therapists etc i want to be like This is what im experiencing These are the resources ive looked into This is what i think is going on. where do we go from here. and like i know a fair amount about psychology and i dont want to have to pretend i dont. or for them to assume i dont. and like id look into peer support and stuff but i feel like thats more short term and less intensive than id need to unpack my childhood stuff. Oh i completely forgot to post and also finish typing this. anyway idk like what are even the chances of finding a provider in my area, who takes my insurance and is willing to work with me abt the copay, whose main modality isnt cbt, whos experienced in cptsd/dissociative disorders, and also who i click with as a person. idk. it feels completely hopeless lol and i know its not but like. maybe im fine rn like maybe i dont even need therapy really (least fine guy youve ever met voice)

but the other problem is i also need like, a social worker who isnt school-related and extremely overworked (god bless her tho omg) bc i need a lot of help getting like, case management and applying for disability etc. and just normal therapy isnt gonna help me when i also need those things. but i feel like most long term therapists arent also social workers and vice versa

and i dont even know what modality would be helpful for me. i know dbt WAS when i was younger, but now i know like. the basics, ive learned the coping skills etc. so idk if it would still be helpful? and i know like, somatic focused therapy or whatever would probably be helpful, because actually understanding what my body was doing and why and how that effects my mental health has been really helpful in the past. but also i feel like a lot of somatic therapists are... whats a nice way to say this. like a lot of the ppl ive seen either on like psychologytoday etc or on instagram reels are. the type of guy to buy dreamcatchers on shein and use cherrypicked parts of other cultures without understanding their cultural context. and, like, try to cure my dissociative disorder with reiki or something. Sorry im thinking abt the therapist i had in early 2020 now

idk i just dont really know what to look into even. bc ive heard good stuff from a friend abt emdr but im skeptical of emdr like, casually. like i havent tried it and i dont know a huge amount about it, but on the surface it kinda sounds like bullshit- yeah just look between these lights and think about stuff and thatll fix you. but i also understand how repetitive movement can be calming (#autism) and it makes sense that being exposed to those memories and also in a safe place would be helpful? and i like that u dont have to talk abt the traumas in depth out loud. but i also feel like thats more for single-event traumas or at least trauma that u like, remember

and i feel like being able to talk out loud abt stuff would help me. like having another person to bounce my thoughts off of whos not like. a friend. and is able to deal w that kind of thing. and is also paid to do so. And can also help me like. recognize when im being insane. but also Wont assume im being insane and that all my thoughts are fucking cognitive distortions

idk its just exhausting trying to figure out What i even want from therapy other than to Feel Better and stop losing entire months of my life sometimes and to be able to like. make phone calls and talk to people and not feel evil and insane all the time. and to be able to live away from my parents and have a life, whether that involves Employment or not. one of my short-term goals in therapy w a long term therapist would explicitly be to decide my long term goals and how i'll know i met them. bc i think talking abt the therapeutic relationship w my therapist up front is something that would benefit me. due to the avoidance.

idk. wgat everrrr.

[booksandwitchery]

Greetings and Life Update

I really miss being on here and talking to you all! I hope everyone on Witchblr is doing well and enjoying the season.

I want to say that I have been undergoing a bit of a career change and that's why I haven't been on here as much. I have transitioned from being a librarian to...dun dun dun...a historical archivist! In February, I accepted a new position at SCV Historical Society. When I was in grad school I had no idea that museum archival work was even in the cards for me. It's crazy how much can change in just a year. This was emotionally difficult for me because I was so attached to the library and the work I was doing there. The commute, however, was slowly killing me and I didn't feel like I was being challenged. I took the new job because my intuition was firmly telling me it was the right thing to do, but it was not an easy decision.

Now that I am (more or less) adjusted to the new position and sleep schedule, I'm excited to be more active on here because everything witchcraft makes me feel at home. I'd also like to give a quick update on where I'm at on my path:

As with a lot of secular witches, I had a phase of reading about Chaos Magick and finding ways to adapt this model to my own life and practice. The idea of creating servitors and working with archetypal deities really resonated with me. I'm now reading a book called Why Woo-Woo Works: The Surprising Science Behind Meditation, Reiki, Crystals, and Other Alternative Practices by David R. Hamilton Ph.D. It really helps solidify for the reader why all religions/spiritual practices tend to work for people (at least some extent). The book pairs well with Chaos Magick and witchcraft in general because the author highlights the importance of belief in achieving your goals, getting results, living a better life, etc. He also cites a startling amount of scientific studies and lists them in the references at the end of the book (for skeptics like me that want to be sure that the author isn't stretching the truth or taking any liberties with explaining the results of the experiments).

Next--over the winter holiday, I was gifted a shitload of calligraphy supplies for some reason. So I've started to get into calligraphy and various ink colors and pens. Naturally this calligraphy hobby really has me obsessed with color magic and ink magic (I still don't know if ink magic is a thing, but it should be).

Between work and all the craziness of life, I've also been steadily working on a master list of personal correspondences. I started on paper, but soon transitioned over to a digital list because it really is a living, iterative document that can change from day-to-day. For this I've been using the whiteboard feature on Canva, and I've also been working on some other stuff on there that really deserves its own post.

I also have way too many witchcraft books to read; it's really intimidating at this point. If you have any tips on how to set up a reading schedule or reading priority list, let me know. Actually if you have any advice on how to keep up a reading habit while also keeping up with everything else, please please please throw it my way.

I've got so much to say! I could go on and on. It's good to be back.