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butterflydm · 3 months ago

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rings of power - season 1, eps 7-8

Now that I've watched the first season, I want to poke at Halbrand/Sauron a bit and kinda feel out where I feel his deceptions lie, and where I feel like his honesty was too. And maybe active deception vs his low-level tricking everyone because he's literally the most wanted criminal in the lands and doesn't want people to know. The divide between self-preservation and power-seeking, I guess I would say.

First my thoughts on the last two episodes of the season, and then I'll do a bit of a deep-dive into my thoughts and feelings on Halbrand specifically throughout s1. I am definitely looking forward to diving into s2!

Some spoilers for LotR in general and for what I know about the second season.

episode 7: Extremely emotional.

There were a lot of strong emotions in this one. If ep6 showed us war, this showed us the brutal aftermath, and how bitter it can be. Every storyline contained elements of worrying over fault and blame, and then a determination to continue on despite the struggle.

First in the Harfoot & Stranger storyline, where we have destruction and then renewal. "Be true to each other." "What's the good of living if you aren't living good."

Then in the Durin IV storyline, where Durin (and Disa) makes the choice to cleave to Elrond and their own ambitions instead of what the king wants (and suffer for it). The scenes between Durin, Elrond, and Disa were so touching! I love them, your honor! Do they have a ship name?

But I feel bad for the king, Durin III! He is trying to maintain OSHA compliance while Durin (and Disa) are throwing safety out the window. And... and I'm not sure that the king is wrong about the elves either. By the time of LotR, the elves have finally accepted that they must go to Valinor and leave Middle-Earth for Mortal Men. Here, they are not ready to. Galadriel is almost a metaphor for the rest of her people -- on the cusp of leaving, only to turn back and stay.

Miriel also makes up her mind to stick by the side of her alliance to her elven friend, despite the hardships. A lot of really powerful and heartbreaking scenes. Miriel reaching up to cup Galadriel's face while she cries and promising they will return! <3 <3 (Galadriel does not interact with women often, so I must cling to our Galadriel and Miriel moments!)

And we get Galadriel and Theo's extended time together, which I really enjoyed. I'm glad she was able to help him move past blaming himself, at least a little. We got our first mention of Celeborn as well, I believe, which was... interestingly placed for me (I will explain more below). But I really liked their conversations here - Galadriel trying to help him keep a level head and survive past the moment.

But then we have the footsteps of doom coming. Our first sighting of the Balrog down in the mines, after we have just heard Disa and Durin plan to delve deeper. The King was right about the mines. Does that mean he was right about the elves?

And the renaming of the Southlands to Mordor, which was surprisingly heartbreaking for a font burning away and a new word burning onto the screen. Everything that Galadriel was trying to do in the earlier episodes felt like it was burning away too.

My mom said this felt like a finale to her, so I will be interested to see how she feels about ep8! She also noticed everyone taking the blame and said that she agrees that they are all partially to blame to the disaster, because they were too quick to act without enough information. They underestimated the strength of their enemy. It's a really good point -- and we saw that happen with Nori in this episode too, when she thinks she can trick the people chasing Gandalf and it ends up with wagons all aflame.

episode 8: The Stranger's storyline worked here and I liked it, plus it is (again) very informative about the potential powers that Sauron has -- we see one of the bad guys here changing her form, which is something I know Sauron can do (plus I've seen s2 gifs), and we had the... moral, I guess, of all of it here in their storyline, I think.

It's all about choice. Other people can't show you who you are. Only you can do that.

So I did like that plotline and I feel like it was definitely important on a thematic level.

But the Galadriel & "Halbrand" storyline was the one that I was most captivated by in this episode (which I kinda expected).

First, Elrond and Galadriel's reunion was very touching. <3

I was pressing my hand to my chest and just... watching a master at work whenever Halbrand was chatting up Celebrimbor. That was some good fucking manipulation. He was just... in there. Very impressive!

This episode still had a lot of tension even though I knew where it was going. The reveal was so good! That build-up to it, and then the conversations that Sauron has with Galadriel inside her head, trying to convince her to side with him and... hmm.

So, he tried to convince her into two things.

a. Let the work proceed. This is the smaller ask, and I think the bigger ask helped mask it. This is something that he explicitly asked of her and that she ended up doing. She let the work proceed.

b. The two of them binding themselves together, light to power, and ruling over Middle-Earth together. I assume, given what Adar said earlier in the season, that Sauron meant to bind them together with a blood oath (he gave her brother's dagger back to her when he asked her).

That was a big swing for the fences that obviously blew up in his face but... but plan A still succeeded. He still got the first ask that he placed before her -- no need to lie but... let the work proceed.

And she did. So... yeah, very interesting.

She warned Elrond and Celebrimbor about Halbrand, but she didn't mention Sauron. Ashamed of not seeing what he was? Or desperate to stay in Middle-Earth, enough that she was willing to risk the creation of the rings and what they might mean? Believing even more than ever that she is not worthy of Valinor now, and believing that she needs to take care of the problem herself?

And her brother's dagger... symbolic of her vow to hunt down Sauron... being melted and reforged into the three elven rings... that is also very interesting. Lots of things to think about.

One big question I'm left with is - why does Sauron want the elves to stay? They were about to leave. They would have left Middle-Earth if he hadn't saved the project.

It does follow the advice that he gave Galadriel in Numenor, about how to manipulate people: find out what they fear (the elves fear death and diminishment and being forced to sail West), give them a means to master it (the rings), so that you can master them (One Ring to Rule Them All).

So... a calculated risk, because he'd rather have the elves in Middle-Earth and under his control than off in Valinor? He also may be assuming at that point that he doesn't need to worry about any of them picking up on who he really is, so he thinks it's a smaller risk than it ended up being. He clearly didn't expect Galadriel to confront him at this time, though he rolled with it once she did.

My mom's reaction, in her literal words: "He can't be Sauron. He's too handsome!" She was totally shocked and taken off-guard by the reveal. She did feel like the finale was appropriately epic, and is looking forward to watching s2.

I am uncertain if I would have picked up if he was Sauron or not if I were watching it during my first watch, but I would have found his convos with Celebrimbor suspicious just as Galadriel did, I think.

Oh, I did notice that Halband is wearing the same kind of jewelry around his neck that we've seen around the neck of the Sauron worshipper who used the key to blow up the mountain (who is still with Adar at the end of the season, it seemed). So that was a subtextual visual cue before the actual reveal.

Overall thoughts/vibes on each storyline & character throughout s1:

Nori & the Harfoots - this was not always the most exciting storyline, but it had warmth and charm throughout, and I definitely teared up when Nori was saying goodbye to her family and Poppy at the end of the season. The first Hobbit Harfoot to go off on an adventure with Gandalf a wizard!

Gandalf The Stranger: We definitely see lots of hints of Gandalf throughout the season, but culminating in "always follow your nose" made it really obvious. His plotline is still the most separated from everyone else's, and I suspect that it still is in s2, but maybe his path will cross with Galadriel's in s3. But his plotline told us a lot about Sauron's potential abilities, which was pretty useful since Sauron himself was keeping his powers on the down-low this season and relying on manipulation to achieve his goals.

Durin & Disa - I love them, I adore them, oh dear they are 100% responsible for waking up the Balrog due to their ambitions. The sharp divide between Durin III's dedication to safety measures vs Durin IV's 'dig deeper' feelings are... yeah, that's woken the Balrog. (but of course, it's complicated there too, because he doesn't only do it for ambition, but for friendship as well)

Celebrimbor - much like with Durin & Disa, Celebrimbor is a combination of ambition mixed with genuine desire to help. In Celebrimbor's case, it makes him incredibly vulnerable to Halbrand when he shows up and offers Celebrimbor both the solution and the ability to be the one to give that solution to his people. I kinda know what happens to him in s2 because of gifsets but, yeah. The echoes of doom are already there in his behavior. Much like Durin & Disa, he's willing to overlook the warning signs in order to pursue his desires.

Elrond - What a gem! We really got to see him as such a good person during this season, seeing his genuine friendships with Galadriel and Durin (and now Disa) and seeing his moral struggles.

Bronwyn, Arondir, & Theo - I already know that Bronwyn isn't going to be in s2, but I do appreciate what we got with her while she was here. She's strong and principled (just like Arondir), a good mother, a charismatic leader, and we also watched her struggle with moral choices during the season (whether or not to surrender herself and her people to Adar) but she stayed strong and did not give into temptation.

Elendil & family - okay, so I know that Isildur isn't dead (because I have watched the prologue for LotR) but I feel so bad for Elendil. Not only for believing that he's lost his son, but also because his daughter looked into the palantir, and I just feel like that is Bad News Bears. It seems like he's already had so much loss and pain in his life and I am concerned there is only more to come.

Miriel - I like her, I like her, but she is so doomed. Again, back to Durin & Disa and to Celebrimbor -- we have that mix of ambition and genuine desire to help, and we've been watching all season as ambition has led to dangerous overreach. Ambition awakes the Balrog; ambition leads to the creation of the elven rings (which are tied to Sauron, or at least the visuals certainly implied as much), and ambition led to the loss of her soldiers and her own blinding. And yet at the end of things, she was determined to double-down on her plans (just as Durin & Disa do; just as Celebrimbor does).

Galadriel - my feral angel, I adore her. Ambitious, driven by revenge, feeling like she doesn't deserve peace. And, just like in the other storylines, ambition brings doom along in its wake.

I do hope that Galadriel is able to take her advice to Theo to heart next season, and not blame herself too much for bringing Sauron back to Middle-Earth. Doom was not only coming from her side of things but from others as well. The Balrog was woken up because of Elrond & Durin's side of the story, not Galadriel's. Adar's plot to create Mordor would have happened whether or not Galadriel had brought Sauron to the Southlands. What she did was only one piece of the puzzle that leads us into the current situation.

But just like Durin & Disa, just like Celebrimbor, just like Miriel -- Galadriel chooses to ignore the warning signs in order to push forward with what she wants to do. (inversely, in the Harfoot storyline, we almost have the opposite -- it's the baddies in that one who are pushing forward with their ambitions despite the hints that the Maia they're pursuing isn't Sauron, and they get iced for it)

circling around on Halbrand throughout the season:

While I've seen gifsets from s2, I know that context changes things, so I don't know if any of my analysis of Halbrand/Sauron will hold up throughout the second season, but I wanted to place my thoughts down anyway before I press forward.

I think a lot of his early deceptions fall into the "self-preservation" area as opposed to "power-seeking". We know that he can "die" in some sense of the word because Adar believes that he killed Sauron and Halbrand definitely seems to carry a grudge over it.

I am inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt at the start, mostly because I feel like it's a more interesting story that way, and it's ambiguous enough to be read either way. So - let's say he genuinely wanted to start anew, and saw Numenor as his ticket to not being a Dark Lord again. He's gonna be a weaponsmith; he's gonna be chill and cool; and, hey, if he really needs a way out or he gets bored, there's always the pouch that marks him out as the lost king of the Southlands.

In the first half of the season, Galadriel acts as the great tempter to power and ambition. She tells Halbrand that he's better than just being a smith, and pushes and prods him to join her. He resists for a while, but succumbs after the forge scene.

Is he still trying to start anew, but maybe now he's gonna try to play the role of the King of the Southlands, hoping that it's an elevated enough role that it won't chafe on him?

His burst of temper in Numenor is potentially attributed to two things -- a. there's definitely the Galadriel angle, and disliking the implication that lowly Halbrand isn't ~good enough~ for her and that she deserves a man of "better breeding"; but b. there's also the distinct possibility there that part of what sets him off is being treated like he isn't good enough in general; that these mortal men look down on him at all. That the "clothes of the common" are already starting to chafe on him, as Galadriel tells him in one of their scenes together.

Once Halbrand says 'yes' to Galadriel, we get the King & Commander/Battle Couple section of their relationship, which I am so into. I love Battle Couples (Arondir and Bronwyn are also a great Battle Couple in these episodes, and I loved it for them as well). This is also when they are winding closer and closer together but also when it really feels like Halbrand/Sauron's ambition and deception are shifting more and more into power-seeking vs self-preservation. First the power of a king and then, after Adar cracks open the mountain, the temptation of seeking the power of being a god is irresistible to him, I think, especially if he genuinely believes that he can talk Galadriel into coming along with him.

Because the Galadriel x Halbrand relationship is both built on a lie (of him being Literally Anyone But Sauron) and also absolutely sincere (on an emotional level) from Halbrand/Sauron. And the reason I feel that way is because he doesn't need her! Nothing requires him to have a queen by his side. He wants her there. I remember a certain wizard in LotR talking about how the Dark Lord doesn't share power, but it seems like maybe there was an exception to that, once upon a time! (at least in theory)

And if you ignore the context of her dead brother (which she absolutely never would, but we're in Halbrand's PoV at the moment), then it makes sense that Halbrand believes that he needs to be more than 'just' a mortal if he wants her by his side, because she is the one pushing him to embrace more power in the early days of their relationship. It's easy to see how he might assume that even more power could result in even more approval from her, plus it's what he wants anyway.

We have some big emotionally intimate scenes between them in this section, where they bond over how similar they are. In the forge scene, they both confess to having darkness in them, in having done terrible things. In the woods scenes, they acknowledge that they each needed to be pulled back from the edge of revenge, and admit to the connection between them. Galadriel was into him.

Then the big kaboom happens.

And Halbrand is... yeah. I think this event is what marks his choice.

He was 'found on the road', dreadfully injured in a way that needs Elvish healing to fix. And once Galadriel is there, he can rally enough to ride a horse to wherever she's taking him? Adar created Mordor, but Sauron plans to rule it. When he leaves the Southlanders at the end of the episode, he's... he seems much more detached from them than he was in the previous episode. The King of the Southlands is a dead dream now that the Southlands are dead, but he does not plan to let Adar keep Mordor.

I mentioned in my ep7 thoughts that it was extremely interesting to me that we finally get a mention of Celeborn now. Between when we see Halbrand embracing the role of King of the Southlands (at the end of episode 6) and when Galadriel finds him again at the end of this episode.

Galadriel's husband disappeared into the fog of war and she never saw him again.

The Halbrand in the healing tent... he's making plans. He's being an opportunist. She used him to get an army to the Southlands for her ambitions to kill Sauron, but now he's using her to get to the elves. The Halbrand who was willing to limit his ambitions to being the King of the Southlands... he disappeared into the fog of war. She has lost him already, though she doesn't know it yet.

Those feelings only intensified in episode 8, as Halbrand is charming and ~in awe~ of Celebrimbor and managed to so quickly worm his way into the center of this new creation process. He is the one who suggests each new step as they proceed down the road, who is guiding the process of creating the rings.

If that scroll hadn't been in the catacombs, if there had been no proof that Halbrand wasn't the King of the Southlands, I wonder how Halbrand would have managed to get his (two) rings where he wanted them to be. He could definitely play Celebrimbor to act however he wanted.

But, of course, Celebrimbor did manage to accidentally trip Galadriel's suspicions, by saying something that echoed what Adar had said of Sauron's goals.

She must be so... devastated and humiliated right now. She invested so much into her idea of Halbrand, into making him the King who would help her against Sauron.

Was Sauron being honest in his offer to Galadriel? I mean... I kinda think that he was. But that doesn't help, because of who he is, and what he's done in the past.

The general vs the specific and personal comes into play here -- Galadriel is willing to look past a general dark past, but once it touches her own trauma, then that's too far. This is a very understandable and common barrier -- being deserving of redemption (if you choose to seek it) is a very different thing than deserving being forgiven by the people that you've actively hurt.

Redemption requires more than just doing things differently this time, especially if you are trying to redeem yourself in the eyes of the people who you've hurt. It requires a level of sincere humility on Halbrand/Sauron's part that I'm not certain that he's capable of.

It would mean letting go of his attempts at controlling the situation.

It would mean confessing his crimes and then accepting the consequences of that confession.

Sauron may have tried dedicating himself to "healing Middle-Earth" after Morgoth's fall but as long as that's entirely on his own terms, then he has not changed anywhere near enough.

Anyway, that's not the road that he chose to go down! (and choice is the key, as the Harfoot & Stranger storyline has been reminding us: no one can show you who you are, except yourself)

So I will instead enjoy watching the road that he has chosen to travel, because he is fascinating to watch when he's in full manipulator-mode. Tricksters are fun, even when they're scary. I kinda get Jareth the Goblin King from Labyrinth vibes due to the type of manipulation that it feels like Sauron favors - "Just let me rule you and you can have anything you want".

Yeah, my thoughts on this may change depending on what s2 shows me but for now, that's my feeling.

#rings of power #rop #lotr #butterfly watches #my meta #and i talk enough about the ship to warrant it being mentioned here for tagging reasons:#haladriel #saurondriel

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mdhwrites · 4 months ago

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I'd like your authorial thoughts on the following:

Given Luz' and Amity's interactions across season 1 of The Owl House could Luz be considered to have been Amity's Manic Pixie Dream Girl? If so, how do you see that trope evolving (or devolving) over the remainder of the series?

So I have a romance writing lesson I'm going to hijack this ask for but first to answer it: Probably? I feel like one could complain a lot of good romance stories use a character like this so I don't know how useful it is as a label. Not only that but a common complaint I have about Lumity is how Luz doesn't actually try to do jack shit to push back on Amity or actually question her on her shitty behavior. Like sure, we know she doesn't like Amity being mean but at best we get a single confrontation about that that Amity doesn't take seriously. It's never a problem actually addressed and Luz never tries to evoke any other life lessons out of Amity. It's why Amity feels like most of her changes just happen because "Girl pretty" because little actually pushes her to change except the mere existence of Luz.

HOWEVER

This stops HARD come S2. Even by Winging it Like Witches, we see Amity going out of her way to manage Luz's emotions and fuck ups. Where she has to be constantly accomodating because otherwise Sad Luz is a thought she just cannot fathom, even when in shit like Looking Glass Ruins, Luz seems to think an apology is enough, or how she won't change by Reaching Out about actually caring about Amity's well being (such as not noticing her girlfriend getting hurt) but also now with her breaking her word and continuing to lie to her, both things that will also come up in Thanks to Them where she's willing to lie to Amity for months before sending her to her death on the Isles without her.

This begs a bigger question: What of these two that attracted them to each other originally is still there?

We know pretty easily why Amity likes Luz. Explicitly she thinks Luz is kind, pretty, earnest, stuff like that. If we want to read into her character in S1, since it's pretty clear Amity is already crushing by Adventure in the Elements and probably started getting her feelings in Lost in Language, it's because Luz is honest with her, open and free in ways that Amity wishes she could be or wishes her family was with her. It's classic opposites attract. It also helps that early on in the show, her family seems to have transactional love while Luz seems to not require people to prove their worth to her. With Luz, she knows she's always got her heart in the right place, will make up for what she's done and Amity doesn't have to fear what Luz is thinking because if she were to ask Luz, Luz would tell her. Hell, that last part is literally what Eclipse Lake is about. Luz's openness and honesty.

Aaaaand then S2B starts with Luz keeping secrets and lying to Amity. She also steadily becomes less of a weirdo, over the entire show honestly, and more just this troublemaker who seems to mostly do things just for herself. Who can easily be manipulated through the fact that she's selfish, such as with Philip and with Eda's mother. She very easily starts ignoring other's problems because of her own, like in Reaching Out, even as she'll claim she's focusing on you but all of her actions are the exact opposite. This is how we get "I don't want to distract you," while she is willing to distract Emira while healing Amity or joins the tournament because she finds Amity being in underground witch fights that could potentially severely injure her, on a day when Luz is thinking about death and loss, as BORING. Also, instead of Amity not having to ever prove herself to Luz, to not have to worry if Luz is going to stop trusting and believing her, Luz CONSTANTLY isn't trusting or believing of Amity and so Amity keeps having to try harder and harder to make Luz happy. To manage her emotions when, you know... That is kind of the exact opposite of why Amity was probably attracted to Luz. Did she understand she'd have to save Luz from herself? Sure but not because Luz would literally lie to everyone and shirk responsibility. She expected it to be because she accepted jumping Dead Man's Gorge so one of her reading kids would stop being picked on.

So yeah, why does Amity still like Luz? I genuinely expected them to break up in Reaching Out because of this. Because Luz showed that when she's miserable, she is NOTHING like what Amity saw her as and trauma and pain is not an excuse to be a terrible person. I would have still liked them to get back together but like... Otherwise, the show ends up saying that it's okay to lie to your partner so long as you have an excuse. That is abhorrent.

(Smart, Cool, Classy)

But on the flip side of things, what about Luz? Well, we get less overt declarations from Luz than we get from Amity. By what is stated... Well, "Cotton Candy Haired Goddess" and "You're smart, classy and cool," are really all we get and that's from Knock Knock Knocking. Smart is good, cool is fine, classy is okay too but they're very vague and the one emphasized, especially over and over, is how pretty and popular Amity is. Even back in Adventure in the Elements, where the show seems to want to be when they both catch feelings proper but Luz is a dense brick, those are the traits she focuses on. How strong, cool, pretty and popular Amity is. Luz's focus seems to commonly be on very superficial elements of Amity and with her misconceptions of Amity as the series goes on, it's easy to assume these never change.

If we try to go into Luz's character though like I did with Amity though, it gets WORSE. Luz is supposedly someone who fears rejection and has been bullied in the past. However, she seems to have zero fears about Amity as a bully or her being cruel to her. Admittedly, we do get two in character reasons for this: One is from Lost in Language where she admits to wanting to befriend Amity as a fiction trope, which is GOD AWFUL... But somehow the next one is worse? In The First Day, she isn't talking about Amity but she talks about hoping to find a 'vulnerable upperclassman' like one talks about a romantic partner. As such, Amity's damage is not something to help her with but something that continues to check boxes for Luz.

BUT.

If we are kinder, she likes Amity because of opposites attract. Amity is more serious, in control and smart than Luz. She has confidence that Luz doesn't think she has (examples nonexistent of course with how little Luz gives a shit about anyone's opinion) and a grace to her the clumsy nerd does not. So if we go off of those, does Amity lose those?

Yes. In S3A she seems to not be able to control her two left feet. She shows herself to be a complete disaster much of the time. In Escaping Expulsion, she's called out for letting her grades slip and Amity just loses all of her edge and real personality. She'll still continue to do things, to have things grafted onto her but her priorities are always Luz and not any of the drive or the like that might have attracted Luz to her in the first place. This is how Reaching Out ends with Amity caring WAY MORE about Luz's actions and the like than anything her father does and with her really just wanting the right to tell her father fuck you than actually wanting to properly repair their relationship like she claims. The goal is Luz. Always.

"But Luz could see who Amity actually was and was attracted to that!"

I have heard this sort of argument too many times not to talk about it. Let's pretend that's actually the case. That Luz was attracted to a possibility, rather than the person in front of her. That "I can fix her," is a good and healthy mentality. Okay, what is the 'real' Amity then? Well, she's nice, kind of awkward but can then step up to be a badass when she has to be.

I also just described Willow and Luz is not attracted to Willow. She literally never shows attraction to anyone like that. We actually do get an idea for what her type is after all. Her first blush is with a tortured, brooding dickhead in the second episode. She blushes at the twins who are teasing and rowdy. She likes trouble. She does not get attracted to Viney or Willow though despite both having very similar personalities to what Amity will eventually have. So why does she choose Amity?

Because she's the most conventionally attractive. That appears to really be it. It's the only thing that A: Amity doesn't discard of herself and B: that Luz seems to care about that actually stays true to the character over time. And don't tell me that Amity got smart in other ways. She is not a tactician and her strategies are always the bluntest. To reference Escaping Expulsion again, she is the one who posits going for a full frontal assault. Hell, in Falls and Follies, she's making mistakes in her Spanish studies. We don't see much real intelligence from her after S1. S3 made sure she has no class and Knock Knock Knocking explicitly points out that Amity is not as cool as Luz thinks she is.

Why does this matter though? Well... Because chemistry matters in a romance? Because in fiction, we should be able to understand what in the world attracts these two people to each other? Going, "It's love, they don't have to explain it," is the exact same problem as "It's magic, I don't have to explain it." It's purely relying on suspension of disbelief and believing that just because something doesn't have to have an airtight explanation doesn't mean it doesn't have to still follow the rules or examples you have set. People HATE when magic suddenly does whatever the author needs it to just as much as they hate when someone goes "I love you" in a movie after two hours of not seeing a single reason these two would get together.

As such, if in your romance story you have the character development of your characters remove everything they found attractive about each other... Why are they still together? Not even just because that's a thing in the real world but just in the fiction. There's no reason for them not to just be friends now so why are they still saying "I love you," if they even want to be friends still? It makes the conclusion of your work not scan and so your romance falls apart.

And I mean... Clouds on the Horizon even explicitly makes this clear. In that episode, Amity uses Luz as a way to calm herself. Uses how she'd tackle things, her care and the trust she has in Luz to make her not worry about being trapped at home. But is that accurate to Luz? To Luz, who in that episode decided NOT to go save Amity because she wanted to small chance that she might be needed for the bigger plan in motion instead? Despite having no role there and potentially making their stealth mission harder? Or who goes on to not engage at all with Amity's family drama, even as Odalia threatens to force to break them up? Where is the care that Amity was drawing strength from? The silliness that attracted her to Luz? ANYTHING that was there all the way back when that pushed Amity to kiss Luz in that episode?

Because as far as I'm concerned, Amity's Manic Pixie Dream Girl didn't just become a real person. She turned to sludge and why would Amity want to date sludge? See you next tale.

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

#the owl house criticism #toh critical #toh #the owl house #lumity critical

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tellmegoodbye · 5 months ago

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Hello everyone,

Happy LONE STAR DAY!!

I have a few housekeeping things to talk about before I return to our usual Music Monday format, but I know we're all excited for tonight so I will try to keep this brief.

If you would like to check out our playlist for the countdown event you can find that here.

Since we are getting new episodes now, I thought it would be a cool idea for a new way to participate in the tag. If you have a song that you relate to the new episodes, share them with us!

Please continue to refer to this post for any new Music Monday info, or if you just need a refresher on how the tag works.

Here's a quick overview of what Music Monday is for those of you who are new here. You share your songs that you relate to the show, its characters, storylines, fanfics, etc. All songs are added to their respective playlists and your explanations are added to the docs I have created for each playlist.

Reminder: Make sure to either tag me in your posts OR you can use the 911ls music mondays tag so that I can find and reblog your contributions.

Okay, now that we've got that out of the way, onto my songs for the week!

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Leave Out All The Rest - Linkin Park

I dreamed I was missing You were so scared But no one would listen Cause no one else cared After my dreaming I woke with this fear What am I leaving When I'm done here?

Don't be afraid I've taken my beating I've shared what I've made I'm strong on the surface Not all the way through I've never been perfect But neither have you So, if you're asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes Forget the wrong that I've done Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed And don't resent me And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory Leave out all the rest

This song is a reflection on the way we live our lives and how we will be remembered when we're gone. When I think about these lyrics in the context of Lone Star, they could really apply to any character, but Gabriel is who specifically comes to my mind for this song.

To me, this is Gabriel's message to Carlos. He's spent a lot of time reflecting on his own mistakes and has struggled to express the love he has for his son, but he hopes that Carlos will remember him as someone who never stopped trying and who always strived to be better. He didn't always get it right, but he looks at Carlos and feels so much love and pride, and he wants Carlos to know that and to see that.

Zzyzx Rd. - Stone Sour

Propped up by lies and promises Saving my place as life forgets Maybe it's time I saw the world

I'm only here for a while But patience is not my style And I'm so tired that I gotta go

What am I supposed to hide now? What am I suppose to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through Tell me I should stick around for you Tell me I could have it all I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

I'm over existing in limbo I'm over the myths and placebos I don't really mind if I just fade away

I'm ready to live with my family I'm ready to die in obscurity 'Cause I'm so tired that I gotta go

This is a song written from the perspective of someone struggling with addiction. The narrator addresses his loved ones with a sort of brutal honesty about his feelings towards life, but it's also a song about love and support at the same time. It's about someone who is there for you even when you're in your worst moments and can't see a way out.

This song reminds me of TK and Owen in s1. Owen is ready to do whatever he has to do in order to help TK, and TK lets him in as much as he can, but these lyrics are also an realistic viewpoint on the state of his mental health in the aftermath of his suicide attempt. He knows Owen loves him and is there for him, but he still needs to find that healing outside of that support.

Impossible - Nothing But Thieves

Love, it stings and then it laughs At every beat of my battered heart A sudden jolt, a tender kiss I know I'm gonna die of this And that's because

I could drown myself in someone like you I could dive so deep I never come out I thought it was impossible But you make it possible

I'll take the smooth with the rough Feels so fucked up to be in love Another day, another night Stuck in my own head but you pull me out You pull me out

I really hit y'all with a couple angsty gems today, so I should probably round this post out with a more upbeat song. This song screams Tarlos to me, and reminds me of the early days of their relationship where everything is new and overwhelming, but it also just feels right at the same time. They've come to that realization that what they have is something special, and that they might have found their soulmate. Before they met, such a notion felt impossible to them.

@strandnreyes @lemonlyman-dotcom @bonheur-cafe @heartstringsduet @herefortarlos

Tags!

@eclectic-sassycoweyes @literateowl @carlos-tk @paperstorm @guardian-angle22

@ironheartwriter @emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @whatsintheboxmh @firstprince-history-huh

@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @sweettkstrand

@toomanycupsoftea @corsage @certifiedflower @goldenskykaysani @reeeallygood

+ open tag

please tell me if you would like to be added/removed from my tag list

#har rambles #music monday #911ls music mondays #music tag

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emitheduck · 2 years ago

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Hostage Situation (Spencer Reid x Reader)

A/N: keep in mind, I’m on S1 right now. He is still soft baby boy, and nothing bad has happened (and i KNOW stuff is gonna happen)

T/W: guns, shooting, hostage situation, death, bad guy is on drugs MASTERLIST -

When he woke up this morning, Spencer Reid’s first thought was not that he would be stuck in the middle of a hostage situation. His usual routine was the same; wake up, get ready, stop in at a local coffee shop for some coffee, then head to work. Today was different, and he noticed it the second he walked into the shop.

Before he could even get in line to order, a man was cursing and yelling at someone behind the counter. He was just about to tell the man to take it outside to cool off, and then he pulled out his gun and shot the worker behind the counter dead.

Panic ensued, and just as he was about to jump over the counter, the man yelled for everyone in the coffee shop to sit down so he could barricade the door. This man looked crazy, and he was not about to set him off–sending one quick text to Hotch with his location and a 9-1-1 ping was all he needed.

The cops and the BAU were on the scene before he could blink. The only downside, this man was threatening to shoot someone else if they tried to get in the building–and he left his gun back at the office.

“Really not how I expected my morning. So much for treating myself.” A soft voice said from next to him, and he looked at the woman sitting next to him. Her legs were pulled up to her chest, and she had silent tears running tracks down her cheeks; but even so, she was breathtakingly beautiful.

“Did you know that only about 12 percent of hostage situations a year. In all honesty, 90 percent of them are resolved successfully. I’m betting that we’ll be okay.” He told her calmly, trying his best to keep watch as the man continued to move couches over to block the front door. “How long was he yelling earlier?”

She wiped at her cheeks before answering him. “I’d say a good 10 minutes. It seemed like he was talking nonsense though. Hate to say it, but I thought it was drugs.”

Spencer nodded. “Usually there are 4 types of hostage situations. A ‘mentally disturbed’ person, criminals trapped during the mission, prisoners revolting, or political terror. I feel like he might be the first option with the way he’s acting.” He told her, watching as the man seemed to get into an argument with himself.

“Do you normally spit facts at random or are you just making all of this up?” She asked him, watching as the corner of his lip twitched up in a smile.

“I have an eidetic memory. I can see things once and remember them for, who knows, nothing’s gone away yet.” He told her, watching as she processed the information. “You could really ask me anything, and I could more than likely tell you something about it.”

“My name is (Y/n).” She told him, eyes quickly snapping to the man who was holding them hostage as he started yelling.

He was yelling at everyone in the room; telling them all to be quiet so he could concentrate. That’s then the phone on the wall started to ring. “You! I want you to answer that!” He yelled, pointing the gun at (Y/n), eyes never actually leaving from his make-shift barricade.

(Y/n) slowly got up off the floor, going behind the counter and holding back a sob as she had to step over the dead barista to get to the phone. “Hello?”

The room was silent, trying to hear what was going on at the other end of the phone call. “Well? What is it?” The man yelled, turing to (Y/n) to shout at her, waving his gun in the air.

“It’s a call from an Agent Hotch over at the BAU. He’s saying that you need to talk to him.” She told him, handing him the phone over the counter.

The man snatched the phone off the counter, listening intensely to what the other man was saying on the other line. That was until the got mad, and threw the phone back at (Y/n), hitting her in the forehead before he turned back to hiding behind the couch.

“(Y/n)!” Spencer whispered, going over the counter and rushing to her side. The hit didn’t knock her down, but she was sitting on the ground, silently sobbing while a cut on her forehead was bleeding and running down her temple.

“He threw it so hard, I’m just so lucky I didn’t get shot.” She told him, reaching up trying to use her sleeve to stop the bleeding.

Spencer grabbed the phone off the ground, checking for any damage before he held it up to his ear. “Hotch? Are you there?”

“Reid? We got your message. This man is Gary Turner. Low level criminal, a few arrest records but nothing serious that caught our attention on the first look. Then Garcia found that the barista used to be his dealer–this man is addicted to methamphetamine and is most likely high, provoking him to shoot.”

“On average, a high can last anywhere from 4 to 16 hours depending on the strength and timing of taking the drug. That’s not even counting the initial rush of taking the drug which can last 14 hours max.” He paused, looking over to (Y/n) who was staring at him like he was crazy. “What should I do?”

“My advice is to just hang tight and wait for us to figure out an approach to getting inside. Last thing we want to do is spook him; it could provoke an attack.” Hotch told him, then let out a sigh. “If you get someone to talk him down, you could try to take him down when he’s not watching.”

Spencer nodded and then put the phone down, making sure to not hang up as the ringing could provoke the man further. “We can either wait, or try to take him down.”

(Y/n)’s eyes went wide and she shook her head. “Both of those ideas sound crazy, are you kidding me?”

“I didn’t get the chance to introduce myself earlier. My name is Dr. Spencer Reid, and I work for the BAU. I work for the FBI, and the man you spoke to on the phone is my boss.” He told her, watching as she processed the information. “You can ask me as many questions as you want, right after we’re not being held hostage.”

“What do you need me to do?” She asked, watching as he seemed to stop and think.

“Either way, it poses a risk for one of us to get shot. One of us could get shot talking to him, and one of us could get shot trying to stop him. He’s using the gun frantically, firing out of fear. It looks like he’s holding a Glock 17, which means it holds about 17 shots–16 now that he’s fired one. But we have no idea how many he actually loaded into the gun in the first place.”

(Y/n) dried under her eyes quickly, before slowly standing up from behind the counter, grabbing the phone. “Agent Hotchner said he wanted to talk to you again. Something about more questions?” She said, giving Spencer a quick nudge with her foot as a sign to start moving.

“Can’t he take the damn hint! I don’t want to talk!” The man–Gary–yelled as he stood up, pointing his gun at (Y/n) chest as he walked over and grabbed the phone. “Can’t you all understand! This wasn’t meant to go down like this! One more time asking me stupid questions, and this girl gets shot and it’s all your fault! All of this, it’s not my fault!” He yelled into the phone, waiting to hear what the man on the other end of the line had to say.

As he was yelling, Spencer slowly slid out from behind the counter, telling the other patrons inside the coffee shop to stay quiet as he worked to sneak up behind Gary, who was still yelling into the phone.

(Y/n) tried her hardest to not glance over at Spencer as he was moving; knowing if her eyes darted to him, the man in front of her would get suspicious and start to panic. “I’m sorry, he was speaking into the phone and wanted me to give it to you again.” She told him as he slammed the phone down on the counter.

“You give me this damn phone, one more damn time, I’m gonna make sure that you regret that decision.” Was all Gary could say before Spencer got to him, quickly snatching the gun from his hands and taking him down; holding his arms behind his back as he tackled him to the floor.

(Y/n) grabbed the phone. “He’s down. Spencer took him down.” Was all she had to say before a police officer burst in through the window. Different police officers rushing in to help the other victims leave the building while (Y/n) stayed by Spencer’s side. “I can’t believe you took him down.”

“Personally, I can’t believe it either.” Someone said as he walked up. She didn’t even have to ask. This was Hotch, the man she had spoken to on the phone–the man who told her Spencer was going to find a way out. “Nice work Reid. And I’d have to say, wonderful work (Y/n).” He told her, taking Spencer’s place so he could handcuff Gary before dragging him out of the building.

Spencer gave her a slight smile as he brushed himself off. “It was pretty amazing that you kept talking to him even when you could see me coming, even when you had a gun pointed at you. It took a lot of agents years of training for that level of calm.”

“I’m just as surprised as you are.” She told him with a sigh. “How do I go back to my normal day after this?” She asked him with a breathy laugh.

“Honestly? I really don’t know how you can. This is just a fraction of my everyday life, and I still can’t believe it happened when I wasn’t at work.” He told her, frowning when he remembered that she had a cut on her forehead from where Gary had struck her with the phone. “Why don’t we try to get you cleaned up before you head on your way?”

(Y/n) nodded, looking up at him before she started to cry. “I just wanted to say, thank you.” She wasted no time, quickly throwing her arms around the other man, not helping all the emotions that rushed to the surface. “I can’t thank you enough, because I honestly don’t know what would have happened if you weren’t there.”

Spencer was trying not to blush, still feeling his entire body ignite in flames. “It was nothing, honest.” This was one of the very few times in his life he seemed to be at a loss for words. “Would you be okay if gave you my phone number? Y-You know, to call me in case you start to experience any symptoms of PTSD? Those could be anxiety, nightmares, fear, flashbacks–”

“Spencer, would it be too forward to just ask if you wanted to go out with me sometime?” She asked him, smiling up at him. “I won’t say no to your number though, you know, just in case.” (Y/n) told him, leaning up and pressing a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”

He was blushing like an idiot, grinning down at her as his hand reached up to touch his cheek where she had kissed him, the spot feeling almost electric. “Anytime.”

–

“I’m telling you, she asked me out!” Spencer yelled as he stirred sugar into his coffee.

“And I’m telling you. I need to meet this girl and find out what’s wrong with her to see why she asked you out in the first place.” Morgan smirked, loving the reaction he was getting out of the younger man. “And all this happened because of some hostage situation?”

“You can even ask Hotch, he was there and everything.” He emphasized, watching as Hotch was walking by, a perfect opportunity to ask him a question. “Hotch, did the girl at the shooter situation not ask for my number, kiss me, then ask me out?

Hotch paused, his expression unmoving. “Reid asked if he could give her his number, she did in fact ask him out, but he only ended up with a kiss on the cheek. Too chicken to actually press one to her lips.” He told the two men before walking away.

“You know, for someone so smart, it’s a wonder how you didn’t get the hint she wanted to kiss you. You better kiss her when you take her out on a date.” Morgan told Spencer, giving him a firm pat on the back.

He nodded, processing the information as Morgan started to walk away. “Wait! How do I even ask her out!”

MASTERLIST

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #matthew gray gubler #reader insert #reader

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laurel-finch · 1 year ago

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'I Don't Bite' S1.Ch06: Tether

Summary: The new arrivals settle in and the Winchesters make a reappearance... Referenced Episodes: mentioned S1 E12 "Faith," mentioned S1 E13 "Route 666," mentioned S1 E14 "Nightmare," S1 E15 "The Benders" CW: Kidnapping. Long chapter. Word Count: 8657 Recommended Song: Interstate Love Song -- Stone Temple Pilots Previous Chapter -- Masterlist -- Next Chapter

"No, Sam, everything's fine here," I answered sharply. "You don't need to check up on us."

"It's been three weeks and they're still not gone," he responded curtly, clearly frustrated by my refusal. "Dean and I are getting worried." I paced up and down the kitchen and glared toward the living room where my blond guest lounged. He picked at his nails and scraped at his skin, fidgeting – hungry, and volatile. There was no way I was letting either of them near Sam and Dean anytime soon.

"Dean almost just died like three times. He got electrocuted for God's sake. I should be headed to wherever you idiots are to check up on you!" I hissed into the speaker, cupping my hand over it. The action wouldn’t so much to block the sensitive ears of skinwalkers, but it at least provided some privacy.

"Absolutely not. Dean and I are fine, stay with your pack and we'll come to you."

"Jesus Christ, Samuel, you are not coming here and involving yourself with my pack and a couple monsters who don't know you," I hissed out. The mammoth on the other end of the line was finally silent for once.

"You there?" I jumped at the voice.

"Dean?" I asked, voice squeaking softly at the sudden intrusion. He chuckled at the obvious question.

" Yeah. He got fed up with you I suppose." I could practically picture his smirk. "Listen, if you don't want us coming out to make sure if you're alright, I'm fine with that-" I sighed in relief. “But-" and at this, I groaned. "- at least come on a hunt with us. It's been almost a month since we've seen you. A hunt can't hurt, right?"

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Dean-"

"And bring the dumb blond one with you while you're at it. I'd like to meet him, maybe set him straight."

"I'm not bringing Marcus with me," I hissed out and I turned to said dumb blond. Dean was right, it had been nearly a month. Caeden was mostly healed and likely safe to leave, but the two newest mutts continued to stay in the bunkhouse, although at the opposite end from the others. Caeden remained silent and wary, following Marcus around like a shadow. Oftentimes I would hear them arguing quietly on the porch at night, just softly enough that my keen ears couldn’t decipher their heated words.

I glared at Marcus and he smirked back, delighted by my reaction. He wasn't a bad wolf, in all honesty. Cocky as all shit, but a good fighter and willing to help around the house. Perhaps that's why I let him stay, despite him not having said a word about potentially joining the pack.

Caeden, on the other hand, was a different story. He was moody, but not unlikeable – in fact, he got along rather well with Sasha and Andrew, although Booth was still rather cold to them both. But Caeden's allegiance fell with Marcus, and I had to admit it made my fur stand on end to think there was a mutt running around my pack that wasn't one of mine.

"You still with me?"

"Yeah, Dean, I'm here," I answered as I propped the phone up on my shoulder again and continued marching around the kitchen with a bowl of cookie dough in my arms. "Sorry, I'm helping Andrew with something."

“Bring him with you if you won’t bring the other one," Dean replied light-heartedly. "From what I've seen of him, I feel like he could use a good fight." My face fell at this.

"If anyone's going to teach Andrew how to fight, it's going to be me or Booth."

"You could teach him all about the teeth and claws side of it, but I could teach him the old one-two," he laughed and I heard a swish from the other end of the phone, almost like he had done the moves himself.

I chuckled. "I think I can handle that too, Dean, but thank you for the offer." He hummed in response and I heard a loud plop, almost as if he had dropped onto a hard cushion - likely a motel bed. "Where are you now?"

" Saginaw, Michigan, " his voice sounded clipped, as though he was unsure of himself. Reluctant to tell me more. "... Sammy had another vision," he finally relented. My eyes widened at this and I put the mixing bowl on one of the countertops, straightening the phone and holding it against my ear.

"What'd he see this time?"

"Weird stuff going on in some house. He saw a garage first, smoke in it, one of the family members dead. We scoped out the house and didn't see anything-" I heard a clatter from behind me and saw Marcus leaning against the edge of the counter, holding the spoon I had been using on the cookie dough to his mouth, a smirk resting on his lips. I growled at him and motioned for him to put the spoon down. " - Sammy had another vision later of one of the other family members getting his head chopped by a window. "

"A window? You've got to be kidding me."

"Nope." I turned back to Marcus and frowned, seeing him lick the batter off the spoon. He smiled guiltily.

I pulled the phone away from my ear and covered the mic. "If you don't put the spoon down right now, I'm going to shove it up your scrawny ass," I hissed. Marcus tilted his head a bit and grinned before dropping the now dirty spoon in the sink. I scoffed and returned the phone to my ear.

"Listen to this" Dean continued, "There's no sign of anything paranormal in that house. No graveyards to native rituals, no curses or murders. Nothing. Zilch."

"Poltergeist maybe?" I heard another loud clatter behind me and turned to see Andrew shoving Marcus out of the kitchen. Andrew looked furious, and Marcus was quickly learning not to mess with the younger man's food, much to my amusement.

"Don't think so. But, we wouldn't mind the help, if you could come down – or I guess drive up – and help us out."

"I think you've got this one covered, Dean." Not that I didn’t want to, but I didn’t trust the strange pair of monsters alone with my pack. Andrew's ears pricked at the mention of the eldest Winchester. He seemed rather excited to meet him again and was very curious about the brothers. "But so help me God, Dean Winchester, if you get hurt I will tear you limb from limb."

He hummed in response. "Sorry sweetheart, I've heard that threat loads of times. Pretty much used to it by now."

"In that case, maybe I'll just turn you into my own personal chew toy. Or even better, keep you here and let the pack snack on you from time to time."

"Getting to see you every day doesn't sound too awful to me."

My face flushed and I took a few moments to recollect myself, jaw going slack. I shook my head to clear my thoughts before speaking. "Let me know when you guys are done with this hunt. Maybe I'll see you on the next one."

"Noted. I'll catch you later, fido."

"Stay safe, Winchester." I hung up and put my phone back in my pocket. I whirled around with my hands on my hips to face the two troublemakers, only to find more than two sets of eyes staring back at me. "When the hell did you all get here?" I asked, eyes widening in surprise.

"When you started blushing," responded Marcus. "It was pretty cute, you know. What'd your boyfriend say now to get you so worked up?"

"Shut up, Marcus," countered Sasha. Although small, she was turning out to be a little ball of wrath. "That's her business."

"You're just saying that cause she's your boss," Caeden said dryly for the first time that day, backing up his partner.

"No, I'm saying that because she's my friend," she snapped back, head held high in defiance. Sasha, for all her loving personality, did not tolerate disrespect or even a hint thereof. She scowled up at the two much taller men, dark eyes reminding them of their temporary place within the pack. An involuntary shiver ran up Marcus’ spine, which he quickly covered by ruffling his hair, the movement distracting from his uneasiness..

"Thank you, Sasha. I appreciate it, but it was really nothing." I looked pointedly toward Marcus. "He's not my boyfriend, and he just said something that caught me off guard."

The blond shrugged. "If you say so." He suddenly clapped his hands together rather suddenly, making even Booth jump. "You know what we should do tonight? We should all go hunting!"

"Sounds like a fine idea to me. I wouldn’t mind getting a good stretch in," agreed Booth, rolling his shoulders. "’S long as it’s animals."

"We went hunting only a few days ago. We don't need any more food," added Andrew, looking rather confused by the sudden change of subject.

"Then how about a chase?" suggested Marcus, a wide grin spanning his face.

"A chase?" I asked, cocking a brow.

"Like... what is it humans call it, capture the flag?” Marcus nudged Caeden in the arm, catching the dark-skinned man’s attention. “You told me about it once, remember? Your teammates can get captured and you have to rescue them while still defending your territory."

"We could use deer hides as our flags," offered Andrew, giving me a hopeful look. I looked among each of my pack members, searching for any sign of opposition to this. Finally, seeing none I turned back to Marcus.

"Why are you offering up a game so suddenly?"

His smile widened if that was at all possible, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. He chose his words carefully, mulling them over before they slipped easily off his irritating tongue. "Just a bit of fun with the gang, right?"

Caeden stiffened.

—

The teams were set, with Booth, Andrew, and myself on one team and Sasha, Caeden, and Marcus on the other. Sasha didn't seem all that excited to be partnered with the two newbies, but she promised to do her best and try to have fun.

The game was taking place in the woods around the glade. Sasha's team's skin had been placed somewhere to the west, whereas ours was to the east. We were given a limited range to run in, sort of like boundaries for the game. If a player was captured, they had to go back to the glade and wait to be ‘rescued.’

The sun was setting, its pink rays dappling the horizon and golden clouds resting over the treetops. It would be dark soon, a time when skinwalkers did their best work.

"What's the plan here, boss?" chirped Andrew, practically skipping along beside you.

"I think we should have Booth stay around the skin," I answered coolly. Booth whipped around to look at me in confusion. "You're better at running short distances quickly, and you fight more defensively. I've seen you take down a deer, Booth, you're not built for long-distance." He quirked an almost challenging eyebrow at this, but nodded.

"Then what should you and I do?" Andrew chimed again. His eyes were lit with an almost childish joy. Sometimes I would forget that he was only barely an adult, but moments like this made me remember.

"You are built for speed, unlike Booth," I said with a teasing look over my shoulder at the silvering man. Booth scoffed and crossed his arms. "So I think you should help me herd them. Push them towards me, and I'll catch them. We can press forward into their territory and hopefully get their skin without too much trouble."

"What if one of us gets caught?" Booth questioned.

"Then Andrew will go rescue them. He's the fastest, and he's not likely to get caught – but if he does, then I'll go."

"And what if you both get captured?"

I turned to him, a wide grin on my face. "Then you'd better fight like hell."

I turned sharply, hearing a loud howl to the west, signaling that the game was starting. I yipped in response, saluted my beta, and took off into the woods at a dead sprint, Andrew hot on my heels.

I gestured to the left and made a motion for Andrew to shift. He nodded back and jumped into his russet form and took off towards the left while I veered to the right. I slowed my pace and eventually walked slowly through the woods, still having yet to shift. It could be a while until someone made a move, so I stood and waited.

I shook my furred head, the brown undertones receding with the waning light of the sun. It was twilight now, and it was steadily getting too dark to see in my human form. I paced through the woods and listened for an inkling of movement, hearing none. Not even a mouse burrowing beneath the fallen leaves.

I heard a crash to my rear, and before I could fully turn to face it I was knocked to the ground with a paw on my throat and a pair of jaws near my ear, snarling at me. I snapped and twisted, kicking my back legs up with enough force to roll over and pin my attacker beneath me. I snarled and was met with an equally vicious growl.

Caeden swiped up at me, with a brown, wiry furred paw, connecting with the side of my jaw and pushing my head away. I hissed and smacked my right paw against his cheek, causing him to yelp and throw his hind legs up, pushing against my sternum. His legs shook under my weight, as my furred form was much larger than his. I snapped at his throat, struggling to connect my jaws with his neck.

In a whirlwind of teeth and claws, I was tossed to the side, a small scrape running down my shoulder and Caeden rushing towards me. I catapulted forward, meeting his chest with mine and pushing him over backward. He fell onto his back with a whine and rolled onto his stomach. I stood over him and sunk my teeth lightly into his scruff, pulling the loose skin gently. He growled in response, but didn't resist. He had been captured.

The two of us shifted back and I got off of him, allowing him to stand. "Sorry, Caed. Maybe Marcus'll rescue you."

"Doubt it," he said, running a hand through his short hair, tight curls cropped close to his skull. His eyes had returned from their vibrant blue to a warm brown that neatly matched his skin tone, his short, wiry hair sticking up at odd angles. "He's probably too busy getting your skin from Booth." He smirked and briskly walked away from me, headed towards the capture zone. "That was a good fight. Looking forward to a rematch at some point."

"I think that's the nicest you've ever been to me!" I called after him, unable to hide the smile blossoming on my face. He stiffened at my words.

"Don't get used to it," he growled out over his shoulder before disappearing into the woods. In the distance, I heard his howl signaling to his team that he had been captured.

—

The game finally ended, after what felt like hours of playing. In the end, Marcus had been caught trying to rescue Caeden, leaving only Sasha guarding their skin. Andrew, to my surprise, had been caught as well before I encountered Caeden. He had apparently run right into Marcus, who had reacted quickly with jaws around Andrew's neck. The boy was fast, apparently too fast for his own good.

We had all returned to the main house now, faces flushed from running, but still excited by the night's events. Andrew had pulled some homemade ice cream from the freezer, and it was surprisingly delicious. Together, we sat on the couch laughing with each other and enjoying our ice cream.

"He came out of nowhere!" Marcus exclaimed cheerfully, laughing his head off and his wavy straw-colored hair bouncing wildly. "I just heard this weird thumping and then suddenly BOOM! There was Andrew, flying towards me! Not sure how I reacted, but the next thing I knew I had my teeth around his throat."

Andrew laughed at this and held his bowl in the air, like a small salute. "I didn't even see you there. I just knew I had hit something and then all of a sudden I was on my back!"

The group laughed heartily, Marcus playfully bumping the younger skinwalker with his shoulder. "Andrew, you think running into me was scary, imagine Booth and this one charging you out of nowhere!” he said, pushing at my shoulder slightly. “God, it looked like she was almost flying, I swear, her paws weren't even touching the ground!"

I chuckled at this and brushed a lock of hair out of my face. "It felt like I was flying, honestly. I was so set on winning at that point."

"I could hardly see you, let alone keep up with you," Booth praised. "It was so dark that I thought I was going to lose you in the woods. My legs still ache from trying keeping up."

I laughed heartily and grinned at him. "You needed the workout, old man,” I teased, bumping his shoulder affectionately. “You're getting soft in your old age."

He growled playfully. "I bet you wouldn't say that if you and I took a turn in the ring." I chuckled.

"Try me, I bet I could knock you on your ass any day." The group erupted into laughter once more at this declaration. I pointed to Caeden from across the group, narrowing my eyes in jest. “You and I need a rematch before you two head out – that fight was far too short for my liking.”

Caeden nodded slowly, not meeting my gaze – a common occurrence with him. Before he had a chance to answer, Marcus spoke up. "Who said anything about 'heading out?’" he questioned and flashed a cocky smirk. My eyes widened at his declaration, heart thumping loudly for just a moment.

Caeden froze, back stiffening. His eyes were wide with shock and… was that fear? He angled his head slightly to glare at Marcus for his rash words. “Marcus…”

"You mean you two are planning to stay?" Andrew asked gleefully, having taken a shine to the two men.

"We had discussed in the past never joining a pack,” Marcus added, suddenly in complete seriousness. I frowned at his words, watching his mind slowly turn as he thought up an answer. The group fell silent, waiting for him to continue. “We’ve both had a few rough experiences, but…” he fell silent for just a moment and gave Caeden’s hand an affectionate squeeze. “I’ve always wanted a family – both of us have. This is the closest we’re going to get, and, unfortunately-” his green eyes lifted to meet mine in a sturdy, accepting gaze, “- I trust you.”

My gaze flicked to Caeden, whose jaw was set firmly. His gaze was on the ground, but he didn’t pull away from Marcus or the rest of the group. He seemed… uncomfortable, but resolved. For now. This didn’t seem to be the way he wanted to make the announcement.

My heart hammered. These two rogues trusted me? My stomach flipped. Perhaps Missouri was right – maybe I was doing something correct. I couldn’t help the soft, gleeful smile that spread on my cheeks. They trusted me.

“If you’ll have us,” Caeden tacked on curtly, staring down at the ground. His jaw was tight, his shoulders squared. He seemed to wrestle with his decision and I wondered how long he would reasonably stay. This didn’t seem to be the life for him, but his willingness to try made me smile.

The six of us sat in silence, my three original companions open-mouthed with surprise. "Of course, you two are welcome here," I answered warmly, my tone as even and tender as I could muster so as not to spook them. It would be a long road to adapt to the new presence, but it seemed like it would be worth it in the end. Despite their troubles, they seemed like good people.

In a flurry of motion I was suddenly dragged into a hug, the six of us crowded so tightly there was hardly space to move. A bubbly laugh escaped me as I pulled them closer, heart thudding with a sense of joy and relief. My family had just grown again, and I couldn't have been more excited.

—

"So, old flames and an evil car, huh? Sorry I missed it," I called out to the Winchesters before they even had a chance to exit the Impala. It had been a week since my last call with them, almost a week and a half since Marcus and Caeden had decided to stay.

Dean whipped to his younger brother, eyes filled to the brim with shock. "Dude, you promised not to mention that!"

"Just the fact that you made Sam promise tells me everything I need to know," I teased, earning a head shake from Dean. As Sam approached the front porch he opened his arms wide and I practically leapt into his bear hug, the both of us laughing cheerfully.

"Nice to see you again, too," he said, finally setting me down.

"It feels like it's been so long," I grinned, eyes flicking between the boys.

"Just over a month, Courage," answered Dean as he rummaged through the trunk of his immaculate car. I scowled. Courage the Cowardly Dog? Really? "We brought some goodies too. Any place we can drop them?"

"In the kitchen. Andrew and Caeden are working on lunch – Drew's making his famous grilled cheese."

"Grilled cheese, huh? Sounds fancy," Sam teased, taking a bag of groceries from his older brother. As Dean approached, the scent of cherries nearly knocked me over – it was surprisingly strong. It smelled suspiciously like the cherry pie he so loved-

“You stopped for pie?” I asked.

“Always. Brought some with us, too.”

I grinned as the two boys headed inside and were quickly greeted by Andrew, who was practically jumping for joy upon seeing them. He offered a hug to Sam, who took it, whereas Dean opted for a handshake. I paced into the kitchen to see Caeden drying off his hands with a dishtowel. It looked as though he had just washed whatever couldn't fit into the dishwasher, which I'm sure Sasha would appreciate.

"Caeden, meet the Winchesters," I said, gesturing to the Winchesters. "Sam and Dean, meet Caeden," Caeden remained quiet, eyes fixated on the cloth wrapped around his hands. After several long moments, he waved halfheartedly to the Winchesters before returning to the side dishes, not bothering to meet their gazes.

Sam cleared his throat and looked around the kitchen, effectively breaking the silence. "Where're Booth and Sasha?" he asked quizzically, scanning the yard outside.

“Sasha’s out in the bunkhouse sorting out the last of the laundry, last I checked. Booth and Marcus-” I hesitated for a moment and caught Caeden’s eye. I had considered introducing them to Marcus, but was unsure if he was… detoxed enough for that. Caeden, at least, flipped back and forth between vegetarian and traditional diets. But Marcus had always been traditional up until now.

Caeden seemed to understand the meaning in my gaze and he nodded affirmatively. I spun on my heels to face the Winchesters. "I'm going to go find Booth and Marcus. Care to join me?"

"Will we be able to keep up with you?" Sam asked jokingly.

"How fast can you run?"

The boys paled.

—

I jogged through the woods, the boys not far behind me, and my ears pricked to any sound of my pack members. My boots hit the forest floor softly, hardly making a sound other than the crunching of leaves, whereas the boys thumped along behind me.

I yipped as I heard the sound of rustling to my left and veered in that direction. A playful growl caught my attention and I raced towards it, picking up the pace and leaving the boys behind me. I heard Dean groan and pick up the pace. I burst forth into a clearing, jumping into the air and landing on two feet, covered in dirt but content.

Booth and Marcus were sparring together, although it looked more like Booth was lazily fighting a puppy. The older dog had so much more experience, despite Marcus's innate strength in pedigree. I was happy to have both of them by my side.

The Winchesters stood by my sides, watching the fight with wide eyes. To them, it must have looked like the two skinwalkers were trying to kill each other. We had no rules against drawing blood or injury in a fight, as long as the injury healed quickly. Fur was flying and Marcus had a small cut above his eye, blood matting his fur.

I whistled at the two fighting dogs and Marcus's attention immediately switched to me, unluckily for him. Booth, seeing an opening, launched himself towards the golden wolf-dog and bowled him over. They were a mess of legs and snapping jaws, falling head over tail together.

"Aren't you going to stop them?" Sam inquired. I laughed.

"Hell no. Booth'll end it quickly."

Only moments after I said that did the dust settle to show Marcus on his back and Booth's smaller jaws around his neck. Booth, although technically a blue heeler, was not much smaller than his wolf-dog competitor and far more muscled. Marcus would have a lot more work to do if he wanted to beat Booth anytime soon. All of us needed to keep working – including me.

Booth hopped off the younger skinwalker and padded over to me, a small chunk of golden fur clasped between his jaws. He shifted back with a wide smile on his face. Marcus hopped up beside him, resting his elbow on the larger man's shoulder, earning a frown from Booth. "What's up?" Marcus asked cheerfully.

"Lunch'll be ready soon. Came to tell you to wrap things up."

"Pretty sure I just did," remarked Booth, glaring lazily at his younger companion, who just smirked back.

Marcus turned back to face me and straightened, crossing his arms over his chest. "Are these your hunter buddies?" I questioned, eyes scanning the boys up and down. His green eyes flickered to Dean and looked the scruffier man up and down, licking his lips.

"Marcus, don't do that," I said, glowering playfully.

"Didn't realize this one was yours," he threw his hands up in defense.

I scoffed, my cheeks reddening. Fuck, why did he always have to push his luck? "Dean's not my boyfriend." I crossed my own arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

"So you're saying he's up for grabs?" he asked, shamelessly checking Dean out. The eldest Winchester was clearly unsure of what to do, his own cheeks dusted with red. Sam, on the other hand, was struggling to hold back laughter.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Let me remind you, Marcus, that you do have a boyfriend. I don't think Caeden would appreciate you making eyes at another man." At this Sam snorted and Dean whipped his head to glare at his brother. Sam just shrugged in response.

"In all honesty, I don't think Caeden would turn down a three-"

"Alright, that's enough out of you," Booth growled, placing a hand on the back of Marcus's neck and guiding him forward. Booth looked at me with pursed lips and narrowed eyes. "We'll meet you back at the main house," he said, before pushing Marcus in front of him, the blonde whining as they went but not struggling.

As soon as they were out of sight, Sam burst out laughing and Dean stared at his brother, appalled. "Dude, you just got hit on by a dog!"

Dean grumbled at his brother, his cheeks pink. "Can we just go eat lunch now?"

"Careful Dean, I think Marcus wants you for lunch," I added playfully. He glared sourly at me before marching back through the woods towards the house.

—

We woke early the next morning to prepare for the next hunt. "I can toss your stuff in the trunk," Sam offered, taking my small duffle bag. I thanked him and turned to my pack members with arms extended, beckoning them in for a hug.

"I shouldn't be gone too long, hopefully. Maybe a week or two. While I'm gone, Booth is in charge." Marcus huffed playfully at this, shooting Booth a teasing smirk. Booth glared in response. "Booth, keep them active, I don't want them lazing around while I'm gone."

"Not a problem. Stay safe," he ordered with a mock salute. I smiled back at him and gave him an affectionate hug. I turned with a wave and walked towards the Winchesters' car, grinning excitedly. I clambered into the backseat and waved good-bye as we took off down the road.

After a long day of driving, I couldn't wait to throw myself onto an uncomfortable motel bed. Just the thought of finally having enough space made me forget the discomfort for a brief moment in time. Perhaps if I had been allowed to shift I wouldn't be so cranky, but Dean's 'no fur' policy had to be followed if I wanted to continue working with the Winchesters. Sitting in the back seat, buckled in and unable to stretch out was a nightmare when I was so used to traveling my foot.

I stretched on the bed as soon as I dropped down, haphazardly tossing my bags on the floor. I arched my back and yawned, popping my tender back. My stomach growled as my eyelids dropped. "So what the hell are we supposed to be investigating in Minnesota?" I slurred sleepily.

Said Winchester glanced sideways at me, lips pursed and clearly unamused. "I thought we went over that during the drive," he grumbled with a single raised, unimpressed brow.

"So sorry, I was busy trying not to shred your upholstery," I rolled onto my stomach and glared at him, resting my chin on the back of my hands that laid flat against the bed. "You should be thanking me."

He scoffed. "If you did that, I would have shot you. No one touches Baby."

"Aww, you're a mechanophiliac. I bet she likes it in the tailpipe, huh?" He scoffed again and nearly choked on his beer. "When's Sam coming back with the food?" I whined.

"Soon, I hope, if it'll make your whiny ass shut up."

I huffed and sat up. "Explain to me again why we're here," I said. He glared my way and I flashed him a cheesy smile.

He turned back to his laptop before answering. "Long string of disappearances here, dating back... well, the list seems to be never-ending." He gestured frustratedly towards his computer screen and leaned back in his chair. "Last guy to disappear was a guy by the name of Alvin Jenkins," he said the man's name in an almost mocking tone. "Some kid was the last one to see him in a parking lot next to the kid's house."

"What'd the kid see?"

"That's what we're going to find out-" he lifted a finger into the air pointedly, "- after lunch."

—

The boy wasn't much help. All he had seen was Jenkins stumbling drunkenly towards his car, and the next he was gone with a loud crash. Kid couldn't even give a decent description of Jenkins' car, and now that was missing too.

I was never a fan of bars - too many smells, too many gross old men, and way too many people. But, bars seemed to be one of the boys' favorite hangouts, and at this point, I wasn't going to turn down a beer. It had been a long day, full of irritation, and I really didn't mind the burning sensation of alcohol slipping down my throat anymore.

"Police have not ruled out foul play," Sam stated, reading over a police report. I took another swig of my beer, watching Dean throw darts haphazardly at a board. "Apparently there were signs of a struggle." He looked up at his brother and Dean turned back to him with a shrug.

"You know they could be right, could just be a kidnapping," he said, gesturing to the police report as he referenced the investigators.

I chuckled. "Better hope it's not, or we'd have spent all that gas money getting here for nothing."

"Still one monster here we could hunt, Scooby," Dean teased. "And you bet your ass you're pitching in on the gas money." I snorted in response and he tossed another dart. "Maybe this isn't our kind of gig, Sammy," he continued.

"Yeah, maybe not," replied Sam, sounding disgruntled, "Except for this," he continued, pointing at a notebook. I knew it to be their father's old journal, though I had only seen it on a few occasions. I leaned against Sam's shoulder and read the page. "Dad marked the area, Dean. Possible hunting grounds and a phantom attacker."

I lifted an eyebrow and leaned further around Sam to read more. Dean joined me by Sam's other shoulder, staring quizzically at the page.

"Why would he even do that?" Dean questioned, snatching his beer off the table. Sam shook his head in response.

"Well, he found a lot of local folklore about a 'dark figure' that comes out at night and grabs people, then vanishes."

I raised my eyebrow at this. "And we're only finding out about this now?"

Sam swiveled in his chair to scowl at me. "I'm only just finding out about this now, too. I've actually been doing research while you two have been playing darts." I growled and he turned sharply back to Dean. "He found this too: this county has more missing persons per capita than anywhere else in the state."

Dean glanced between the journal and his younger brother. He took a deep breath, shook his head a little, and said, "That is pretty weird." He stopped on his way back to the dartboard and turned back to Sam. "Don't phantom attackers usually snatch people from their beds? Jenkins was taken from the parking lot."

"There's a lot of phantom attacker types, Dean," I countered. "Skinwalkers in Navajo legend were thought to be evil witches that snatched people by possessing or turning into animals first. Do I look like a phantom attacker to you?" I asked.

Dean glanced suspiciously my way. "I haven't decided yet. Do you have a habit of kidnapping people?"

"Only the ones I really like," I smirked at him. He raised a beer in a mock salute.

"She's right Dean. Spring-heeled Jack, Phantom Gassers. They take people anywhere, any time," he added. He smiled at him for backing me up. "Look, Dean, I don't know if this is our kind of gig or not, but it’s worth sticking around a little longer."

"Yeah you're right," Dean cut him off. "We'll ask around more tomorrow." Sam agreed and Dean went back to his game. I took another swig of my beer, pondering whether I should join him or not.

"Right. I say we head back to the motel-"

"Woah, woah, easy there. Let's have another round," Dean countered, gesturing towards the table. I stretched and shook my head. I didn't particularly want another round – I wasn't looking to get plastered tonight.

Sam chuckled and closed his father's journal. "We should get an early start tomorrow."

"You really know how to have fun, don't you grandma," his brother teased.

"You know, Dean, not sure about you, but to me, watching you throw darts and Sam turn pages in a book for another hour really doesn't sound fun to me." He turned to me, looking shocked that I wasn't taking his side. I shrugged.

The elder brother glanced between the two of us, mock disgust on his features. "All right," he said, throwing one last dart. "I'll meet you outside, gotta take a leak," he grabbed his coat and made his way towards the bathroom.

"Me too, Sammy," I added, grabbing my own leather jacket. Sam chuckled.

"You just want that worker’s number, don't you?"

"What do you take me for Samuel, a heathen?" I feigned hurt at his words and he just chuckled and shook his head.

"I'll meet you two in the car," he said with a laugh

"Course Sam," I answered as I made my way towards the bathroom. I caught said worker’s eye on my way out and winked.

As I made my way to the door Dean caught up with me, a dumbfounded expression on his face. "What the hell was that?" he asked, sounding out of breath.

"It's called flirting, Dean. I hope you learned a thing or two from that." I grinned as he spluttered and tripped over his words. I glanced at him with a devious look in my eyes. "I'm sorry, Dean, were you looking to get laid tonight? It's not too late you know, I'm sure one of those burly bikers wouldn't mind bending you over their bed tonight."

His jaw dropped and I cackled. It had been a long time since I had teased someone like this, since before my uncle had left for his final hunt. It was a refreshing feeling, being able to leave someone speechless.

We exited the bar into the cool, crisp night air, Dean holding the door open for me. I nodded to him and he flashed a wide smirk as a puff of cold air left my lips. I breathed out again and rubbed my already cold hands together.

"It's almost spring, why is it so damn cold," I whined, following after the hunter. He chuckled lightly in response. He slowed his pace, glimpsing an orange tabby cat sitting on the hood of a car. My lips curled in disgust, and the cat hissed. I turned back to Dean, his own back to me rather than in the car. I raised an eyebrow and moved to stand beside him.

In his hands, he held his father's journal. I glanced between him and the book, not understanding the significance. It hit me as he walked quickly around the Impala, checking all the windows for any sign of Sam.

"Shit," I whispered, my breath fogging once more as it hit the cool night air. Not even moments later, he was racing towards the bar entrance, talking hurriedly to some bikers. They shook their heads and he whirled around, racing through the parking lot, and called Sam's name.

I walked slowly around the car, searching for any hints of his scent, any idea as to where he might have disappeared to. "Dean!" I called. The man turned frantically. I shook my head. "Freshest scent is right here, where I'm standing." His eyes seemed glazed as he processed the information before once again dashing madly around the small parking lot. Finally, he stopped, his eyes locking on something above him. My gaze followed his and landed on an old camera. I walked gingerly towards him as he stood in the center of the road, staring down the road as if hoping to see Sam.

—

The drive back to the motel was eerily silent. I didn't know what to say, and I couldn't help but feel guilty. I should’ve just left with Sam. I pulled my knees to my chest, careful to keep my shoes off the leather seat. At least I could do that much for Dean.

I kept mulling it over in my head, thinking of all the possible scenarios. Could I have fought the monster and ended our case early? Could I have saved Sam? What if we had both been taken, then what would Dean do? I resisted the urge to sigh, not wanting to bother Dean, even with the small things. I could practically feel the stress radiating off of him – his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel and his jerky movements were tell-tale signs of his frustration and anxiety.

I wondered if similar thoughts were going through his head.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, a seat that felt like it didn't belong to me. I had never been in the passenger seat of the Impala, and to be here now, and in this circumstance, felt like I was practically spitting on Sam's grave.

I hated it. I hated the feeling of guilt. I always had.

I don't think I had felt this guilty or this upset since my uncle’s death. Even then there was nothing I could do, I knew that, but it still felt like I should have done something. If I had convinced him to wait two more hours to leave the house, would he still be alive? Or would another innocent person be dead at the hands of a wraith?

I hated that wraith. I hated the thing that killed my uncle with a passion -- and now I was beginning to hate the thing that took Sam. Maybe one day I would sink my fangs into that wraith's throat, but for now, I wanted to sink them into whatever took him.

My blood was boiling so much that I hadn't even realized we parked at the motel. I eyed Dean, who had his forehead pressed against the wheel, eyes closed. The sight practically drew a whine from deep in my chest. It was a gut-wrenching feeling, knowing that I had no clue how to help him. The cogs turned in mind – what could possibly comfort him?

It hit me just how little I knew about Dean. The snarky remarks, the teasing back and forth was all just... a way to hide how little we knew about each other. Was he a physical person, in need of touch when he was upset? Did he prefer to be left alone? He was a friend, even family at this point, but he had become so all too quickly. Hell, I didn't even know about his parents until nearly two months ago. I sighed, ran a calloused hand through my hair and leaned my head back against my- Sam's seat- baring my throat at the night sky.

"We should go inside, Dean."

The hunter didn't move or show any indication that he had heard me. I sat up slowly and scanned him with sad eyes. Tentatively, I reached my hand out and placed it gently onto his back, between his shoulder blades, thoroughly questioning if it was the right move. He jumped but slowly relaxed into the touch. After a few moments that to me felt almost like years, he lifted his head and gazed at me with dewy green eyes.

To say I was shocked was an understatement. Dean did not seem like the type to cry – although this wasn't truly crying. I scrunched my brows, not sure what to say. Our stare-down lasted for what felt like an eternity.

I had never noticed before, but his eyes were flecked with gold. They were almost a candy apple green in the bright afternoon sunlight, I knew that. But at night, the reflection of the stars in his eyes brought out the flecks of gold, like bits of caramel lost in a sea of green.

I hadn't realized how long I was staring until he turned his head sharply away from me, a light blush dusting his cheeks. Upon my realization, a brilliant, scarlet red bloomed across my own cheeks. I averted my gaze back to my hands, now clasped in my lap.

The hunter sniffed before rubbing a hand hastily across his face and reaching for the door handle. Without a word, he exited his beloved car and headed towards the door to our motel room. I followed quickly, hot on his heels and my feet barely making any noise against the paved ground, almost like a ghost.

As soon as we made it inside he threw himself onto his bed, not even bothering to toss his keys onto the small desk by the door or to take his shoes off. He fell face first, with no inhibitions. I sighed once again before I could stop myself and gently sat down beside him on the bed. He made no effort to move as the bed dipped beside him.

"Dean?" I cooed quietly, in what I hoped was a comforting voice. He only hummed in response. "Are you alright?" Stupid question. I flinched as soon as the words left my mouth. He turned his head to look at me, a steady glare on his handsome features. "Sorry."

I dropped backward from my sitting position to have my back flat against the bed. I curled onto my side and gazed down the length of the bed at Dean, his head roughly even with my mid-torso. He glanced towards me, a severe pout on his lips.

"It's not your fault, Dean," I whispered, echoing the same words I had been telling myself and struggling to believe. He snapped his face towards me, his stern glare present once more.

"Course it's my fault," he rasped, his voice hoarse as though he really had been crying. Perhaps what I had seen from him earlier really was his version of tears.

"If it is, then it's as much my fault. We both left him alone, knowing full well there was danger." Was that really true? How could we have known Sam would be snatched up? I scowled and turned away from him, mulling over my next words.Dean frowned at this and averted his gaze, refusing to accept what he knew was the truth – he couldn't have known.

"It's my job to look out for him," he mumbled against the scratchy comforter.

"It's not your job to protect him, Dean." The ever-present glare was back and he rolled onto his back, successfully shifting up the bed until he was eye level with me. He glared ferociously at the ceiling, so ferociously in fact that I'm sure if he could he would have set it on fire. I nibbled on my bottom lip, questioning what he needed to hear. It had been so long since I'd comforted someone, and I knew it was showing. "We're going to find him, Dean. And I assure you that if we don't, I'll go to hell and back and bring him back to you myself."

His eyes locked with mine once more, his green orbs swimming with unshed tears. Without thinking, I reached forward and brushed any escapees from beneath his eyes. I retracted my hand almost immediately upon realizing what I had done. I whispered a quiet apology, to which he only hummed in response.

"We're going to get him back. I'm not going to let anything hurt you boys, not now, not ever," I whispered quietly, still laying on my side, facing him. He turned his head and once more his green eyes fell upon mine. I hoped my own conveyed as much emotion as I felt.

I had never been good at comforting people. I had never really been taught to. For the longest time I hadn't needed to interact with anyone but my family. It wasn't until I was finally allowed to attend high school that I had been allowed to socialize with others of my age, and even then I was a loner. My parents had feared that I didn't have the control over my hunger that they had.

They weren't entirely wrong.

After my mother died and my father left, I was finally introduced to compassion. I wasn't well-versed or even particularly willing, but my uncle took his time with me.

Some of my fondest memories of him always involved his hugs. Despite his rough hunter demeanor, he was always cuddly and friendly, something my mother – his sister – had lacked. He offered a hug for every occasion, something I had been wary of at first. I wasn't used to hugs. That isn't to say that my parents didn't love me, I know they did – their love was just more... protective. Caging. But his love was the kind of love I really needed at that time.

Before I could even think to stop myself I was throwing myself onto Dean in some odd cross between a hug and a tackle. He let out an oof as I landed on him, his lungs deflating from the sudden impact.

"I wasn't expecting that," he muttered, a small smirk rising on his lips.

"Neither was I," I muttered back. He chuckled and, to my surprise, wrapped his own toned arms around my waist.

I'm not sure when, but at some point in our momentary silence, Dean had begun to play with the ends of my hair. If it had been anyone else at any other time I would have asked them to stop, but he seemed to visibly relax beneath me, something I was very pleased with given our current stressful situation.

"You really think we'll find him?" he whispered, worry evident in his voice. I lifted my head to search his face, my hair dropping from between his fingers.

"What? What happened to your confidence, Dean?" I questioned back. "You're always so sure of yourself."

"Because of Sam," he countered. "I feel like I have to be, to keep him safe and unconcerned." He frowned a bit before continuing. "Sam and my dad are my only reasons for anything. Without them, I-" he choked up and dropped his gaze. I searched his eyes the best I could, watching them swim with emotion.

"We'll find him," I whispered. "We'll find both of them." His eyes snapped to mine and once again I did my best to convey how I felt through a mere gaze. "We'll find Sam, and we'll kill the son of a bitch that took him. Then, we'll find your dad, and I'll smack him for making you worry so much."

Dean nodded and swallowed dryly, struggling to find the words he wanted to say - there were just so many. Finally, he managed to choke out a tired 'OK'.

It was only then, when I felt his hot breath fan my face, that I realized just how close we were. In an attempt to hide my sudden embarrassed blush I dropped my head into the crook of his neck and tightened my grip on him. To my surprise, he hummed in satisfaction.

Neither of us was well-versed in expressing our emotions through words. Body language was all we had, and I suddenly realized that perhaps that was why he made a habit of finding partners in run-down bars and beating walls until his knuckles were bloody. He – much like my old self – had few physical outlets for his emotions.

I was lucky I had my pack now. I knew I could rely on them and trust them to help me through anything. It was at that moment that I resolved to be that for Dean – I understood him without him needing to say anything because I had once felt the same way.

We stayed like that the rest of the night. When we rose in the early morning, we were a tangled heap of limbs and clothes, clutching to each other like the other was our lifeline.

I'm not ashamed to admit it was the best night's sleep I'd had in years.

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virginiaisforvampires · 1 year ago

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Hi Virginia!

I love your blog because it just feels like friends talking about a show. Thanks for the atmosphere you've built here. Okay, I don't want this to come off as anti- Sam Reid because I love that man. It's ridiculous how much I love that man. He makes the perfect Lestat, but if I'm being honest, I can't picture him in the PL era. I'm actually not picturing any of them in the PL era. Do you think the show will actually go there or change some things up? AMC seems to lean into darker themes and no disrespect to Anne Rice, her books started as gothic horror and completely shifted in tone and ended up being a little out there. I wasn't too sure how to take them anymore after QOTD. I love Loustat and want them to have a happy ending, but I honesty just don't see AMC doing a PL era just like the books...Lestat as a vampire prince? It just seems so corny (I know, I'm sorry!) and it just seems like a lot of viewers wouldn't get the stark tonal shift. What are your thoughts?

Hi there! Thanks so much! 🤗❤️

I have to preface this by saying my answer is probably biased as I love those last three books. Like, love them. The Prince Lestat era is what I live for and all I want for this show at the end of the day. 🙏🏽

So here’s my thing with this. I don’t think the show would have to shift anything in terms of tone to do the Prince Lestat era. S1 was the perfect balance of gothic horror threaded through the love story combined with macabre humor and also some very touching, poignant moments. With the exception of the Replimoids plot, which doesn’t necessarily have to be included and I talked about that here, those last books actually contain a lot in terms of horror and the full-circle character arcs for Lestat and Louis.

When you go back and read The Vampire Lestat after reading Prince Lestat, Lestat becoming the prince of all vampires was actually foreshadowed by Allesandra during Lestat’s first encounter with Armand’s cult. It was also foreshadowed during a conversation between Lestat and Gabrielle in which Gabrielle says the creatures of the night are “ripe for a great leader” who would “galvanize us according to new principles.” Of course, this conversation also foreshadowed Akasha, and Anne couldn’t have known when she wrote TVL that she’d one day make Lestat the true leader of the vampire tribe, but I digress.

Like I said, I hate to keep harping on character arcs, but the Prince Lestat era is really important in that respect for both Lestat and Louis and all vampire-kind. Louis finally makes peace with himself, which I talked about here, and Lestat doesn’t want to lead but steps into the role, because he realizes it’s about all of them and not just himself anymore, which I talked about here.

The entire point of Lestat’s court was that it gave the vampires a community, a family, a set of morals and ethics. Many of them had spent centuries in isolation, paranoid and ignorant of the world after having no counsel for their entire immortal lives.

The first brood had experience with a court under Akasha’s savage rule, and it was a complete disaster. There was also Armand’s cult, the Children of Satan, who lived as many vampires continued to live in that they believed by serving God, they were also serving Satan. Who upended that entire belief system and brought those vampires literally from the darkness of living under the tombs into the light of the mortal world? Lestat.

The parallels between Akasha’s awakening and Amel’s awakening weren’t accidental. The difference was with Amel, Lestat was no longer the Brat Prince looking for a fight. He was Lestat de Lioncourt, the Prince, who had literally been to Heaven and Hell. He was ready to be the light that all vampires desperately needed.

There’s also the fact the vampires are living in a world of technology. They could no longer simply exist in secret and seclusion. Lestat’s court brought them into the modern world of technology and science via Seth, Fareed, Benji, and Armand.

Lestat bridged the gap between the old world and the new world with his court. He restored his childhood home to its’ former glory, helping the mortal village that surrounded it to also thrive, and he broke the cycle of generational trauma by becoming the exact opposite of the monster his father, a fallen marquis, had been. Lestat had grown up here. He acknowledged his missteps with Louis and Claudia, and he vowed to do better by their new children, Rose and Viktor. His entire attitude towards his nature as a vampire was changed after having Rose and Viktor. It was a parallel for Lestat essentially repairing the trauma from his childhood. He wanted a fresh start, a clean slate for the future, not only for himself, but for his husband and his children as well.

That brings me to my final point. The show has already picked up on several Prince Lestat hooks. Fareed, references to the farm, vampires awake during daylight hours, Louis saving Claudia from a fire just like he saved Rose, their dance in 1x07, Rolin’s comment about there already being shades of the prince in S1 Lestat.

There’s also Louis. I think Louis’ race change in the show could be brilliantly illuminated further with the way he comes into his own in the Prince Lestat era. He is Lestat’s consort, the key second-in-command, the one the others look to to keep Lestat grounded, the one who figures out how to sever the silver cord with Amel, the one the others know is the heart to the entire survival of the court because, without Louis, there would be no Lestat. Instead of walking behind Lestat like he had to in 1x02 at the segregated opera house, he’s now walking side-by-side with Lestat as his equal, no longer forced to sit behind him like on the streetcar in 1x07, but sitting at Lestat’s right hand in power and at peace with himself. I just think it would be beautiful to witness this transformation, because show Louis is so much richer, deeper, layered with many contradicting facets, and I think his rise to Consort Louis is not only imperative to his character, but inevitable with the way the show has established his complex dynamic with Lestat.

That’s simplifying it all, but it’s the parallels, the arcs, the hooks, the foreshadowing, the full-circle culmination of their entire journey, and that’s why Prince Lestat is important. I only hope the show gets enough seasons to see it fully realized. ♥️

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everyepisodeofallymcbeal · 1 month ago

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S1 E3 - The Kiss

At least in this episode, Ally sticks to ruining her own life rather than ruining the lives of others. Ah, wait no she tries to ruin Cheanie's (sp?) life too.

My thoughts on this episode, with timestamps.