#Honestly had no idea what to do with the coloring

[thepachy]

Some little wips

Just a very quick sketch/redraw of old Jacob now that i have tge perfect muse

Honestly i have no idea in which canon or au this is, like who survived, did the dep came or anything. Idk probably just the main old au

(the big spaces it’s because it’s missing parts)

In the new world. Joseph, the Father of what was once a big family walked to a distant place, away from his own garden, in the remaining mountains of the old Hope county

The old man walked to a sort of cabin, build by the two men he came seek for a possible help. He looked around at the porch, the little garden, some dog houses here and there. Rustic but they made it their home. Joseph continued his way toward the side of the house to where he saw one of the men. Still thin but looking healthier, with a kind of mullet like his younger days. There, trying to paint with some rudimentary paint he made. The old Father walked closer and let out a little greeting. "Oh ? Joseph ?" The man turned and gave him a little smile. The man was older, his burned marks still there but healed after so many years. They were placed at the same spots as his partner and the similarities made Joseph smile. All the more so as, as he grew older, the old painter’s beard became ginger. What was a little spot few years ago, grew to almost all his chin.

E- What is this visit worth, dear ?

J -i wanted to come visit you two. It’s been a while

-yeah… a while. so how’s the others ? In your new Eden ?

-it’s going well. My son can be difficult sometimes but one day he’ll grow in maturity, I’m sure

-Ethan ? The very few times i saw this one he looked like a little troublemaker

-sure he can be… and how are you ? You two are… pretty nice here uh ?

-yeah we sure are. Jacob really managed to build our own little Eden

-i see it. And where is The man ?

-oh, him ? Hunting our dinner with his pack

-his pack ? What did i missed ?

-well, while you were rebuilding your family and new Eden, the old man decided to uh… return to his experiences

-the judges ?

-yeah kinda but no. He made a bond with a little pack, raising them and all. Truly impressive if i wasn’t the one having to clean their mess

-i see you still pain ?

-yeah i try to do with what i have. Try making my own paint and yeah try to paint with the fingers i have left

-oh… what happened to these ?

-these ? A trap. Or maybe a wolf, i don’t remember well. Oh but look who’s finally here !"

Here came the mountain man in all his glory. The old wolf came from the woods with his little pack and a buck on his shoulders. He looked stronger, well fed like if he was scared he had to eat someone else. The old age made him hairier and loose his colors, more grey and white but some ginger hair were still visible. He aged well, we could say.

_________

E- Joseph we told you that we both decided to quit all this a while ago. So we’re no-

Ja- I’m still the one deciding here in case you forgot ! I told you that if you needed something I’ll still be there okay ?

Jo- i appreciate brother.

E- but we-

Ja- we will find a solution okay ?

E- okay. Whatever you do, I’ll follow you

Ja- i know, honey…

Jo- Listen brother, i just want you to come check us as you rarely do it and by the way help us find a way for the security

Ja- the security ?

Jo- yes. Recently, strangers came to steal things and i refuse to let’s them harm my family

E- yeah it’s true being pacifist doesn’t really help in that, uh ?

Jo- no. So i just want you to come and maybe help me find a better solution, okay ?

Ja- …. Fine

Jo- thank you broth-

Ja- BUT. My husband and I will com-

E- wait wow! Husband ?

Ja- what now ?

E- so we spent almost 10 years here alone without doing nothing about this because you didn’t wanted to make any celebration and then your brother comes and you say we’re husbands just like that ?!

Ja- … surprise ? Anyway, so we’ll come with you, find a solution then come back to our Eden. Understood ?

_________

Jo- thank you very much my chil-

E- Don’t. Don’t call me like that.

Jo- … excuse me…

E- I’ll go prepare this buck and clean the pack. Give me this… and uh, do your things.

Ja- thanks honey…

…

Jo- so he’s still angry at me uh ?… with how he greeted me earlier, i though maybe he-

Ja- you know he’ll never forgive you, Joseph.

Jo- … i can understand

Ja- you can’t. You’re not the one who spent 6 years locked in the same bunker as him, seeing how he hated himself for all the things we had done and forced him to do. You’re not the one who had to see his guilt for keeping me alive, literally eating himself alive.

-brother i know how hard it was

-listen. I decided to sacrifice a lot okay. Just like you and just like my man sacrificed everything to keep me on this earth, that’s why i took the hard decision to move away from you… so we’ll come to help you and the others because they’re still part of the family but you’re little trick to bring us back to your flock will not work, you hear me ? I finally have another reason to live other than war so I’ll not let you put me in another one.

-… fine. You help me and my Eden then I’ll leave you to yours

-good.

…

now come inside and stay for the night but quickly. Before the pack start eating our dinner

_____

That’s it for now !

[lostinlovingrevery]

He's Definitely Obsessed With You: Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Just Kiss Already

Plot: You and Logan are finally beginning to navigate your relationship and your new lives together. Logan is carrying dark secrets, and finally opens up to you.

A/N: Oh lordy I'm finally done with it. It turned out so fluffy in the beginning and angsty in the end. It'll get better! (Then worse)

Warnings: Mentions of war, past history of violence, anxiety, a bit of jealously, a bunch of fluff towards the beginning, angst near the end, mentions of a past assault (not logan or reader) Logan just needs a hug, so does reader. Also logan is probably not super accurate to his character..?

Word Count: 7470

Prev<- ❤️ ->Next

Years of aching for someone you weren’t sure cared about you the same you did for them was forgotten about the moment Logan came back into your life.

The comfort and safety you always felt in his presence resumed, the admiration of the man you grew to know for over a year in a jungle had only grown stronger as you watched him adjust to a new life and do it with grace. Perhaps it’s because he’s done it before, he knew the drill. Yet still, you found yourself falling for him all over again. You knew him as Logan Howlett, soldier. While you both shared a closeness, there was still a war, there was always an air between you that prevented anything further developing. The most that would happen between you would be conversations of the future, lingering touches, and side glances. Now you could know him as Logan Howlett, friend. Although that’s not necessarily what you’d call your relationship.

Things were unspoken between you.

You found yourself truly looking forward to going out now, because he was going to be there. Although you didn’t go to the wild parties that Rose likes. That wasn’t Logans style and honestly wasn’t yours either, albeit you did it to please Rose and told yourself that it was a good idea even if you ended up dreading the whole ordeal anyway. You and Logan found yourselves doing more…Domestic activities. Movies, festivals, dinners, lunches, the local bar, even the gym. 

“You wanna go see the Exorcist tomorrow night?” 

Logan turned his attention away from the drunken people very badly singing karaoke at the small stage the bar had. The karaoke machine was a new addition to the lively bar, adding more atmosphere to the place that was already unique in it’s burnt orange and brown color scheme, neon signs, and pop art littering the walls. You were sitting in a booth together, his arm draped loosely around you. He quirked his brow in questioning. 

“The Exorcist?..” He asked, then smirked. “Ain’t that a movie about demons and all?”

“Yeeesss.” You respond with a singsong voice, meeting his eyes. He sipped his whiskey, not breaking eye contact from you. 

“No.” He says after firmly setting his beer back on the table. He licked his lips of the droplets of whiskey left on them, and you couldn’t help but stare and think, ‘I could clean that up for you’

You think a lot of things about Logan now. You don’t plan to stop. At one point you would’ve felt guilty to think something of a friend. You and Logan could not be considered friends anymore.

“Why not?” You asked in a whine. “I wanna see it! It looks good! My friend Marie says it was cool!”

“It’s gonna scare you. Just like that last movie.” He says. “Then I gotta listen to you whine about it. You’re gonna call me and complain about being too scared to sleep. Then neither of us will get any sleep.” 

“So?” You grin. “There’s an easy solution to that.”

“Is that so?”

“You just come stay with me after, and then I won’t be too scared. Your presence will scare off all the bad guys.”

Logan raised his brows up. “Yeah? Where am I gonna sleep then? Your couch?” He leans in, and you felt a deep crimson blush burning at your cheeks under his flirty stare. “Not very comfortable.” 

“Maybe you wouldn’t have to sleep on the couch.” You say, and you could feel your breath hitching at the idea. Logan smiled, but it wasn’t his usual sweet smile he gave you. This was something darker and more…lustful, that you were beginning to see more often when you two talked. Lately, all your conversations turn to something flirty, indiciating the rising tensions between you. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but Rose interrupted.

“Alright! Here you go, me and Adam got refills for you guys.” She says, as her- and Adam, who was the leather daddy you seen her makeout with the night Logan came home. Apparently he’d made enough of an impression on her to keep him around. You and Logan separated, occurring to both of you just how close you’ve gotten in the booth. He never removed his arm from your shoulders though, his hand gently squeezing the shoulder it was resting on, as you gave him a side glance, noticing a hint of pink on his ears. 

Things were very unspoken between you.

The way your relationship has developed since he returned was something you thought you would only dream of. 

You got to see more of that playful, boyish charm Logan had that you saw hints of in Vietnam. The charm that made you always crave to see more. Not that you couldn’t love his broody self as well. Each had their own perks that made you smile, where you couldn’t help but think ‘he’s so cute.’ The way he’d tease you, not in a mean way, more loving as he pokes fun at things such as your outfits, though you’d see the sliver of desire come across his eyes when you come in with those high-waisted jeans and low cut top, highlighting your figure for him in ways he didn’t get to see with your army scrubs. You watched him open up to the world. He’d gotten a great job at the local lumber mill, and even fixed his cabin up a bit, considering it was left empty for years while he was gone. He decorated, got new furniture and everything. Rose implied it was to impress you but you think he was simply just trying to…Make a home for himself after being gone for so long. 

He was taking up hobbies like boxing, which you certainly enjoyed watching, as you’d go to the gym with him occasionally in attempts to committing to your own workout (news flash, you aren’t very successful). You weren’t exactly a fan of the fighting, you didn’t like seeing Logan getting punched, but lord the intense concentration on his face, how his brows crease as he scowls at his opponent, the way sweat covered his body head to toe after brawling for an hour. You may not have understood the appeal of fighting each other. A male thing, it must be. You watched the boys in Vietnam do the same thing, practicing boxing and wrestling and all, although that was probably more practice than a hobby.. You did understand the appeal of observing. At least, observing him. 

You watched Logan as he quickly dodged and punched his opponent, effectively knocking him back. A few more swings and it was a knock out. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself, shaking your head as you still didn’t understand the whole appeal. Male ego? Still, there was a certain…attraction to seeing how powerful he really can be. You knew that he was actually holding back when he boxes. If he applied his real physical strength- the mutant aspect to his strength, the other side would be down in seconds. Instead, Logan used boxing as a way to focus on his own movements, teaching him to be quick on his feet and defensive.

Logan was watching you as you were distracted with your gym bag, taking a heavy drink of water from his bottle, he took in your outfit, the way it hugged your body and curves, you had worn a workout outfit before, shorts and tank top and it was driving him wild as he kept an eye on you while you were running on the treadmill. Seems like no matter what you do, or wear, you always drive him crazy.. Grabbing a towel, he patted his forehead and hands dry, as he walked to the otherside of the ring where you were, perched on a bench. He nodded to his opponent, a coworker from work, before climbing over the ropes and hopping to the ground. You always waited for him to finish up when you went to the gyn with him, and the both of you would go to lunch together after. 

“Enjoy the show?” He grinned. You rolled your eyes. 

“Enjoy the senseless punching each other? Totally.” You scoffed, but it was merely teasing. You were glad to see him enjoying himself. You stood up from the bench, going to grab your bag, but he picked it up for you instead, stepping close to grab it, his chest bumping your shoulder and you turned to look at him. Your eyes met and you felt that familiar electricity run between you both.

He looked down at you and the look he gave you felt like he wanted to eat you alive. It led to a warm feeling that sunk low in your belly. You noticed Logans nostrils flared and his eyes darkened. 

“You sure you didn’t enjoy that sweetheart?” He says in a low voice, “Watching me?” 

He lowered his head down towards you, and you felt like your heart was in your throat. You saw his eyes flick down to your lips. You swallowed but before you could say anything-

“Hey Logan, good job today man-” 

Logans coworker and sparing opponent came up behind him, smacking him on the back and starting conversation, forcing Logan to step away from you, the heat of the moment evaporating. Although you saw him glance at your while his friend talked, and there seemed to be the lingering look of desire, excepting softer. Yearning. 

You knew though it wasn’t always happy for Logan though. You knew of the nightmares he’d have, the fits of panic. There was things he didn’t tell you. You didn’t ask. You knew if and when he’s ready to talk, he will. 

You found yourself happy with Logan, the way things are. You had felt such need for him for so long, and now that he was here- you surely thought you’d be desperate for his love and attention. Simply though, you enjoyed the time with him. Things didn’t feel…rushed. Maybe it was because in Vietnam, you constantly wondered if you would wake up to an attack, or a bomb, or something. You savored the small joys, like a warm Coke, or music on the radio, or just being able to laugh with Logan. Now though you’re able to enjoy those not just because you don’t have to worry about threats on your life, but because now you know that you and Logan had the rest of your lives to understand each other, for something to work out on it’s own time. It had be a couple years since he came back, and you both moved towards something steadily. 

1975, Alberta, Canada

You were working your shift at the hospital. The hospital had just built a new wing- an emergency center, and you were one the lucky nurses to get transferred over. Apparently your history of being in Vietnam made them think you’d be a wonderful addition to an emergency wing where being quick on your feet, and attention to detail was important. 

Of course they were right but you would have liked to had a choice in the matter. 

Especially since they decided you were to be the charge nurse as well. Without asking. 

Now you were bombarded with all sorts of new duties. Stuff that you didn’t even know existed in doing. Honestly, you believed that this was just the Chief of Staffs way of dumping stuff he didn’t want to deal with on you. You had medical forms to fill out, request forms to put in, and patients to worry about-

Huh, that felt like deja vu….

You were out in the main lobby, acting as triage for now. They were quick in putting you in charge of nurses, supply and drug lists, and various other adminstrative work, yet not quick in hiring more nurses to help you out. Anytime you complained, your boss would remind you,

 “What an absolute honor it is for you to even have this job, with all the womens rights going on. Those ladies would kill to have a job like yours! I mean, i’m sure you wouldn’t be able to find a job THIS progressive at another hospital…” 

What a dick.

“Hey honey,” You heard Rose behind you, and you turned in your chair and gave her a sneering smile.

“Well hello-” You greet sarcastically. “Hows life on the 3rd floor?”

“Whew! Someones bitter.” Rose chuckled. “It’s great, actually. I get breaks, lunches, and all I gotta do is assist the doctors with no extra responsibilities. No uh, administration work, or lack of staffing, or y’know, dealing with someone who shoved something up their ass.” She bragged.

You scoffed. “You got it completely wrong. I’m very happy here. Mind you.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Yeah, you totally look happy.” Rose crosses her arms, an amused smile as she looked down at you in your seat. She looked up, and an even more amused look came across her face. “Although I think your day is about to get better.”

“What?” You blinked, before turning to see who she was talking about. 

You would be embarrassed by how fast you smiled and got up from your chair, but honestly you could’ve cared less. 

Logan had walked in, wearing those jeans you loved on him, a jacket resting over a flannel, and a white t-shirt. He does like his layers, but in snowy Canada- you needed it. He spotted you, and smiled as you both approached each other in the lobby- which was fairly empty, meeting in the middle. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked. 

“You going on lunch soon? Figured I take you out, since you’ve seem so stressed lately…” He smiles. 

“Oh-” Your shoulders slacked. “That’s sweet, my lunch was an hour ago though…” You pursed your lips together, “Sorry.”

“Oh, well, how about a break then? I’ll…get you a candy bar or something.” He says, a small shrug of his shoulders, his smile fading into something more genuine and close. You perked up.

“Yeah, that actually sounds good, I can take a break. Wait for me outside, I’ll be right back.” You hold your hand up, turning to go back to your desk and say goodbye to Rose. She was watching you guys in amusement as you walked back to her, grabbing your jacket off the back of your chair, and your pager off your desk, and shooting her a Don’t you dare say anything look. If you thought she was riding on you hard before Logan came back, she got ten times worse. She says the tension between you two was practically unbearable. You have no idea what she’s talking about.  She gave you a knowing smile and you rolled your eyes, turning around and pulling your jacket on as you walked back towards the entrance, letting another nurse know you were going on break and to page you if anything is needed. 

You met Logan outside, where he was currently banging on a vending machine with his hand. You smiled at the sight, this tall lumbering man, scowling at the machine. 

“Yknow you need to give it money first?” You called out to him, and he lifted his head and smirked. 

“Ate my quarters.” He says. 

“Watch- and learn.” You wink. You reached into your jacket, pulling out a few quarters, sticking them into the coin slot, you pushed in the slot- but not fully, as you reached into the vending slot, able to pull it open just enough to grab the candy bar- and pull back the coin slot, your quarters still in place. You pulled the quarters out, and held up the candy bar in victory as you tilted your head, and beamed victoriously. 

Logan chuckled warmly. “Ain’t that stealing bub?”

You mock gasped, “Me? No way.” You say, holding your hand out, you gave him the quarters. 

“I was supposed to get you the candy bar yknow.”

“You did.” You say nonchalantly as you opened the wrapper, breaking off a piece to hand to him, before biting into the candy yourself, humming happily at the treat- much needed after the day you’ve been having. “Thank you-” You add as you chew. He shrugged, eating his piece of candy you shared with him. “So, anything exciting going on today?” You asked.

“No, just watched tv.” He says. “Started reading that book you suggested.”

Your eyes went wide and you smiled big, “Really? What you think?”

“Pretty good so far, I’m only on the first chapter though.” He shrugs. He glanced around, clearly thinking about something. “You wanna go to Reillys tonight?” 

“Reilly’s? Sure, I’m in.” You nodded, taking another bite out of your candy bar. “You want me to see if Rose and Adam-”

“I always actually thinking just me and you.” 

Your heart fluttered. 

“I mean, I know we do stuff all the time but…” He shrugged. “Just…Something, so we can talk.” 

“We’re talking right now…” You tease gently, rocking your body back and forth, but the blush on your cheeks told Logan you thoroughly agreed with the idea of going out, just the two of you. 

“Different kind of talking.” He says. “The kind where you wear something pretty, and I buy you a drink.” 

You couldn’t hide your giddiness at his words, letting out a small breath as your blush ran deeper, you looked up at him and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds nice…” You say tilting your head. 

He looked relieved for a moment, before returning to his usual demeanor, as he leaned over you, looking down at you like he was going to eat you alive. “So it’s a da-”

Your pager went off, and you groaned. “Sorry.”

“They can’t survive 5 minutes without you, huh?” He grumbles.

“Apparently not.” You turned your pager off. “I gotta go, but thanks for the candy bar Lo-” you hold up the empty wrapper, you reached for his hand, wrapping your hand around his, and squeezing it. He squeezed it back. “So tonight?”

“I’ll pick you up at 7. Sound good?”

“Great.” 

You began to let go, but he lifted your hand up, kissing the back of it as you watched him, his eyes making contact with yours, before finally he let go. You bit your lip, trying to hide your fluster, quickly turning away to go back into the hospital, as you felt butterflies go through your body. As you tried to go back to work, you couldn’t stop thinking about what you wanted to wear tonight. 

The day went by slow as hell- mainly because you couldn’t stop watching the clock. You got off at 4, giving you nearly 3 hours to get home and get ready to go out. 

The entire time you wondered if this was the start for you and Logan. After 5 years, becoming such close friends, sharing intimate moments, and shared connections in a similar past- you couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. Logan was the person for you. You denied that idea a long time, purely just a person who cared deeply for the people you found closest to you. Now though, you couldn’t deny the rapid flutter of your heart. You thought back of all the ‘close call’ moments you had with Logan. Moments where you nearly kissed, admitted your feelings- usually moments that got interrupted by something or other. You always took that to mean that maybe it just wasn’t your time yet, but you felt a charge with Logan today. The way he came all the way down to see you at work, to ask you out tonight when he could’ve just called you when you got off, because he knew your hours- surely he had been thinking about you as well.

When you got home, you tried your best to keep your cool. You didn’t tell Rose initially- but your nerves started to get to you. What if you were overthinking it? What if you dress up to nice and give off the wrong impression? Rose though, could read you- the way you were nervously pacing around the house as you anxiously cleaned real quick before you got ready. 

“What is going on with you?” She asks, following you to your room, as you pulled open your closet and started searching your outfits. 

“I- Nothing!” You say, but you start blushing, and cover you face. “Okay, I think Logan asked me out tonight, and he said something about wearing something pretty but I don’t know I uh…” You bit your lip. “I’m wondering if I took it wrong.”

“Okay, hold up- time out. Logan asked you out?!” Her voice pitched up as she stepped into the room.

“I don’t know! He said he wanted me and him to go out to Reillys- just me and him, to “talk”, and then when I pointed out we do that all the time and he said the kind of talking where I where something pretty and he buys me a drink.” You explain, all in one breath as anxiety wracked you. You didn’t know why you were so nervous, it was Logan, one of your best friends, you didn’t need to be nervous over him but you were.

Rose stared at you like you were insane. “Okay, first, breathe.” She says holding her hands up. “Second of all. It’s a date.”

You sigh as you took in a breath. “I don’t know what to wear it’s- been awhile.”

“Oh, I know.” Rose looked you up and down. “Could’ve had some practice while he was still gone but noooo.” 

“Rose-” You whined.

“Alright calm down- Lets start with whatchu got in that closet of yours.”

You and Rose spent the next hour trying to put together the perfect outfit. She convinced you to wear a black, satin slip dress, something that complimented your figure perfectly- while still remaining neutral enough- seeing as they were all the rage and often seen worn in bars anyway. She helped you with your hair and makeup, complimenting your features while keeping a more natural look. Rose herself was all about the wild makeup- flashy colors, paint as much as you could, but since this was a possible “first date”, she agreed something more natural and light was appropriate. You picked your colors that complimented your skin tone well, and did your hair in your favorite style. You thought you looked pretty nice- but nerves still crept at you.

You were no strange for looking nice, but you really haven’t been on a date in years. It wasn’t like you didn’t know how flirt- considering you and Logan been flirting for over a year since your reunion. You wondered if this was what it was between you and Logan, would things be different? How is this going to impact your relationship? 

Rose noticed your sudden lackluster demeanor, her hand going to your back. 

“He’s gonna love this.” She smiles warmly at you. “The man is TOTALLY obsessed with you already. This is gonna send him through the roof! Lookatchu!” she coos.

You giggled, shaking your head. “Thank you.”

“I’m just so glad to see my girl finally growing up.” Rose says, with fake emotion in her voice as she pretends to wipe a tear from her eye, it made you laugh more- helping you ease your nerves. 

You opened your mouth to retort her comment, but the landline started ringing. Wondering if it was Logan, you quickly went to answer it. 

“Hello?”

You heard a man asking for your name.

“This is she?” You respond, a little confused.

He said your name again. “It’s Frank.”

“Frank?- Frank Jones?” You say in surprise, as the doctor, a man you considered your mentor years ago from Vietnam, came to your picture. “Wow, it’s been awhile, how are you?”

“Uh..Fine. Listen, you okay?” 

“Yeah…” You say slowly. “Why?”

“Nothing, nothing. Just checking on you.” He says. “Did you ever end up going to med school?” 

“Well, no I just hadn’t really-”

“That’s fine. Listen, be careful, okay?” 

“Frank, what are you-?”

“I know you and Logan Howlett are friends.” His voice suddenly toward low, and warning.

You blinked, as you looked at the phone in confusion. Your brows creased, as you felt something weird turn in your stomach. 

“You…Know Logan?”

“I can’t stay on long. I’m just calling to check on you. You need to be careful, especially around Howlett. Don’t get involved in anything.”

Before you could respond, the line went dead. You stared at the phone as you heard the beeps, turn into a flat line, before you hung up the landline. Rose looked at you in questioning. 

“That was…weird.” You muttered. 

“Who was that?” 

“A doctor I worked under in Vietnam.” You look at her. “He was really cryptic though, and he knew me and Logan were friends, I don’t think I ever told him about Logan. He told me I needed to be careful.” 

Rose raised a brow, then crossed her arms. “Okay, I was excited, now I’m scared.” She says. “Why would this guy conveniently call you when you’re about to go on a date with him?”

You shrugged, chewing on your lip. Since Logan had come back, you knew he was carrying something, a weight on his shoulders. He never told you what though.  All you knew was him being apart of a operative CIA team and he left it. Anytime you two talked about Vietnam, or anything regarding it- he’d get this haunted look on his face, like he was going to be sick. So, you never forced him to talk about it. Sometimes it would just come up, it being an impactful part of your life- something you still try to find meaning in today, understand what it did to you and your future. There was a time you never wanted to think about it, but then there’s times it’s all you wanted to think about. Logan though, seemed to never want to go back to it. Whatever he’s done, whatever he’s seen, it was enough for him to want to forget. 

You wondered if Frank Jones knew something about it. Was it bad enough that he had to warn you? You never felt unsafe with Logan. He has been nothing but respectful and safe- not just to you, but the people around you. Rose has stated multiple times that just having Logan nearby has made her feel more comfortable as well. 

“Are you okay?” Rose asked, putting a hand on your shoulder, you looked at her, and nodded.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll..talk to Logan about it later. Or maybe try to find Franks number, call him back or something tomorrow.” You say. She nods.

“Maybe I should go with you…” She says. You saw the worry on her face. Rose was never the type to be fearful or shy away from anything. You smiled.

“It’s fine.” You say. “I’m just going to enjoy the evening, right?” 

Rose forced a smile, but you could tell she now seemed hesitant to let you go off alone. Before you could say anything else, you both heard knocking your door. 

“That’s probably him-” You say, as you attempt to shrug off the weirdness of that phone call. You went down stairs, immediately stopping at a mirror to check your hair and makeup- Rose following you, before you went to the front door and opened it. 

You were a bit taken away by how nicely dressed Logan was. So, this is a date

He was wearing a clean white button up dress shirt, tucked into dark blue jeans, and his typical leather jacket over the shirt. His hair was slicked back, and he looked a mixture of nervous- and excited to see you. You noticed one arm behind his back.

Any worries you had originally went to the back of your head as you took in his handsome figure. It was that you never seen Logan dressed nice- but he was dressing nice for you.

Logan seemed to have the same reaction to you, his eyes trailing over your body, and you see his jaw tense up. 

“You…You look beautiful.” He says softly. A deep blush came across your cheeks, and you took a deep breath to regain your composure. 

“Thank you,” you say politely. “You don’t look so bad yourself?” You smiled, giving him a knowing look. He chuckled, looking down at himself, almost as if he was embarrassed.

“I got you these.” He says, dropping his arm from behind him, and pulling out a bouquet of flowers. “I…Thought you’d like em.” 

They were Peonies- your favorite flower. You remembered months ago walking past the local flower shop with him, and you had gushed over how beautiful they were. Honestly, they made you think of him- the way they start as all closed, before slowly opening up as they become exposed to warmth, the sun, and water. It's what you think of Logan, the way he was always closed up in himself, only to finally begin to open up, as you watched him blossom from the quiet and reserved soldier, to a man finally accepting a life full of joy and possibly…love.

You were surprised, he remembered, and even went out of his way to bring you a bouquet. 

“Lo- they’re-” You laughed softly taking them. “They’re beautiful! Thank you!” He nodded in acknowledgement, you turned back to the house, “Let me put them in some water and we can go-”

“Here girly, I got them, you go on.” Rose came to the rescue, grabbing the bouquet. “Hi Logan.”

“Hey Rose,” Logan nodded politely to her, sticking his hands in his pockets casually. “How are you?”

“Fine.” She smiles. “Go on you two, go on your date.” She urges. Still blushing- a warm heat spread across your face, you turned back to Logan. “I won’t wait up!-” You heard Rose call out as you shut the door behind you. He smirked, taking his hand out of his pocket, and reaching for yours.

“Ready?”

When you arrived at the bar, you both agreed for opting to the small table towards the back, allowing you a little privacy in your conversations in the bar, which was packed as usual on a Saturday night. Logan was a complete gentleman, pulling your chair out for you and pushing it in as you sat. 

“What would you like to drink?” He asks, 

You gave him your order, and he left to go up to the counter to get them. You sat at your table and waited, you took in the atmosphere, adjusting your dress a few times and playing with your hair. Your eyes turned to the counter, where you saw Logan standing, palms pressed to the counter- clearly waiting for your drinks, but something you noticed.

His head was turned, talking to someone. A lady who looked to be around your age, with dark hair that went past her shoulders. She was absolutely beautiful, and she was looking at Logan in a way that twisted your stomach. 

It was no secret that Logan turned heads, and before it never really go to you- perhaps because you knew you were just friends at the time, that you didn’t have a right to be jealous (although it had struck your mind). Logan had never entertained anyone though, and no one has ever approached Logan while you guys were out together- although you definitely seen the stares. You honestly had never considered other women flirting with him- or him flirting with other women, because you yourself had not flirted with anyone- except him.

Maybe this time it was because you two were actually moving forward. Although you couldn’t say that with certainty. You just did not like the eyes she was making towards Logan. You couldn’t see his face, and his body language was fairly neutral, but you felt a small irritation in the fact that he was even talking to her. 

Get a grip, it’s a bar, people talk.

You saw her laugh, flipping her hair a bit, and her hand went to his forearm

Oh for gods sake. 

The bartender brought the drinks, and he grabbed them, a polite nod to her before turning back to you. You felt a small relief that he wasn’t sticking around to talk to her- whoever she was. 

“Here you go.” He handed you your drink, then moved to sit next to you. You smiled up at him, before turning to sip on the straw, before glancing at him again.

“Who was that girl you were talking to?”

Real smooth.

“Hm?” He looked up at you as he took a drink from his whiskey, he leaned back in his chair. “Oh, I don’t know. Some new person in town.” 

You forced a smile and nodded, and Logan seemed to sense your slight tension- a noticeable change when just a few moments ago you were happy and joking around. He leaned forward towards the table again, and he grabbed your hand, holding it on the table as he looked at you.

“So, how was the rest of your day?” 

You relaxed at his warm tone, the way he started a new conversation. You answered his question, and you both fell into a deep conversation- the way you normally do. Not just about your days, but you would turn towards anything. Recently, it was the politics happening in the States, where mutants were being treated as if they were some sort of criminals. Some folks in government were trying to bring back the bill over mutant regulation, the same bill that had been shot down over a year ago. It bothered you- and worried you greatly that mutants were still getting flack in a time of great social change. Canada hadn’t seemed to address any issue of mutants, possibly because there’s no actual “problem” to address, and maybe it made you a little more thankful that you moved to this country. Something in you though, your heart tugged at the thought of those people getting mistreated. 

Logan though, always knew the right thing to say- to put your mind at ease. 

During the night, Logan complimented you, not just your physical looks, but the type of person you were. He always had a hand on you, usually holding your hand, but sometimes he’d reach out- a soft smile on his face as he’d cup your cheek. His thumb rubbing softly against your skin, making your eyes want to flutter shut. 

There was a new energy charging between you, as you both began to feel open to something newer between you, something more romantic. 

You never noticed the dark haired woman again, even as she sat at the bar counter- staring and watching you both continue on your night.

After, you and Logan strolled through the town, admiring the night life and people watching. Logan, normally keeping an arm around your shoulder, had one around your waist, keeping you close to him. You laughed, and you flirted, you teased each other. You felt warmth in you, the way he kept you so close- almost protectively. 

It was getting late, and you both knew that it was getting close to the end of the night, but there was something burning in you. The phone call from earlier had creeped its way back into your head. You didn’t want to ruin the mood, especially since Logan had dropped his arm from your waist, to grab your hand. You needed to ask though, because you knew if you didn’t and you never found out what it was about it’ll probably come back and haunt you later.

“Hey, Lo?” 

“Hm?” 

You stopped, and he stopped with you. You were standing on an empty street, one of the smaller neighborhoods of the town, not too far from yours. It was quiet, peaceful, one of the times you could really appreciate moving to this small town- all because of him. You purse your lips together, unsure how to tell him what happened. 

“Something wrong bub?” He asked, looking at your concerned face. He brought a hand to your chin, examining you as if he was trying to read your mind. 

“Something weird happened, before you came to pick me up.” You begin. “I got a phone call from an old colleague, someone who was in Vietnam. Doctor Frank Jones. Do you know him?”

Logans brows creased, and shook his head. “Not familiar with any doctors. Just you.” He smiled. You nodded, eyes darting away from him, feeling regretful now that you even brought it up. 

“Well he knew you.” You say. “Or…I don’t know maybe he doesn’t…” 

His smile dropped and he stepped closer, dropping his hand from your chin. “What did he say?” 

“He said he knew that we were hanging out, together I guess. He…Told me to be careful. Around you. Then he hung up.” 

Logan frowned, his brows creasing together. You saw his jaw tense up, as he looked up from you, looking around the empty neighborhood. 

“Do you know why he would say that?” You asked softly. Logan looked back at you.

For a moment, he looked angry his lips pulled tight as his eyes narrowed- but then his expression softened, and he looked just plain upset. “I….” He swallowed. “I’m not fully sure. I suppose I can guess though.” 

“You can..guess?” You asked. 

“Look…I…If he was in Vietnam then maybe he knew about me. About the team I was apart of.” He says. “I didn’t want to tell you this. I…I didn’t want you to look at me differently. To be scared of me.” 

“Lo.” You put a hand on his chest. “I could never be scared of you. You being secretive from me though…That scares me.” 

He brought his hand to yours, squeezing it gently, before pulling it away. “After you left, me and Victor got into some trouble. He went after some girl in one of those villages. He got stopped by the commanding officer- not the one you knew, we had a new guy come in. Victor killed him.”

You gasped. “What- are you serious?” 

“It gets worse.” He says. Guilt flashed across his face. “I…Tried to defend him. He was my brother, the only family I got. We’d been serving together for years and I just- thought it’s what I needed to do but… They sentenced us with a death squad. Well, you can guess what happened.” 

You stared at Logan with wide eyes, unbelieving of what he was telling you. He never said anything once, about any of this happening in the letters you communicated back and forth and that…hurt you more than anything. You knew Victor was a bit of a wild card, the man hit on you more times than you care to remember- Logan usually coming to your rescue for that. For him to do something to hurt someone innocent- and then to kill a commanding officer? You didn’t know what to think, as you looked back up at Logan. 

He was clearly struggling as he talked about this. Now you knew why he never wanted to talk about it, why he went silent- with the look in his eyes like he was seeing ghosts. It wasn’t just Vietnam that happened, but that. He opened his mouth, taking in a breath as he spoke his next sentence.

“Obviously it means that they figured out we were mutants, and couldn’t die.” He continues. “We got approached by this man, some kind scientist in the military. He was working on this project- and figured that me and Victor were perfect. He saw our strength, our- mutation. Thought it would be helpful.”

“The operative team you were on.” You say. He nodded. 

“Team X. At first it was just stuff around Vietnam, then we branched out to other countries. Just classified missions, breaking into communist parties, getting intel- sometimes we’d take out a few bad guys but then it just got worse and worse and…The team was becoming brutal. The things they were doing. I couldn’t do it.”  

You reached for his hand, and he looked down at where you were holding him. Then he looked back up at you.

“I thought maybe I was doing something good.” He says quietly. “Helping the country, ending wars. I hadn’t known anything other than violence until you showed up. You made me want to be better and…I just became worse.” 

“Lo-” You stepped closer. “No- No, it’s….” You searched for your words. “You’re not a bad man Lo. You just…Got dealt bad cards. You left, you knew these things were wrong. That’s important. You keep going everyday trying to be better and do better- I know you do, I see it.” 

“That doctor, whoever called you. I didn’t know him. He was right though. You should be careful.” He says gently. “I wondered if I should have even come back when I left the team. I knew you were here, that you had been waiting for me and I didn’t want to disappoint you.” 

“I’m not scared of you Lo.” You say softly. “I know you would never hurt me.” 

“I came back for you.” He says softly. You looked into his eyes, and he looked away, shame on his face- as you brought your hand up to cup his cheek. You leaned forward, softly pressing your lips against his. You gave him room to pull away, but he returned the kiss back. 

Despite everything he just told you, you couldn’t bring yourself to be angry- not at him for not telling you anything, and not for the things he told you he committed. You knew it was something he had been clearly carrying around, a deep guilt he held inside himself- guilt being an emotion that you knew yourself all too well, a feeling that any soldier feels when they come home and you weren’t even a soldier. Guilt may have been his cross to bear, even if his intentions were good, honorable even- and it led to bad things. You knew that it was going to take time, for him to work through this and while you couldn’t heal him or fix him, you could support him- hold his hand and push him to keep going. It was just yet another casualty of war, a man, led to believe he was doing the right thing- only to realize it was all the wrong thing after all. 

You had spent years wondering about your own actions, you wanted to help people, that’s why you signed up. Though you wondered; did you just become another number, another reason for the fighting to keep going? Did your participation support the violence when all you wanted to do was stop it?

There was only thing you knew. It was all in the past. 

The war had been over for 2 years. 

It was time to move on. You didn’t know how you deal with the moral dilemma of knowing the things you done, how do you make up for it? 

You did know that you were glad that you and Logan both made it. Standing there tonight. Perhaps it wasn’t the most romantic conversation- but as Logan pressed his lips to yours, eager and almost demanding, his hands grabbing your hips and pushing you against him- you could feel it. The relief he felt as if he just admitted his sins to his god. You knew Logan Howlett was a good man, that all he wanted to be was a good man. 

Maybe that’s all that was important in the end. 

You parted from you kiss, lost for words- and your breath, and he leaned his forehead against yours. 

“I’m sorry.” He says, his grip on your hips tight, as if he was afraid to let go.

“You should be.” You say. “That kiss was overdue.” He let out a small laugh, knowing that it’s not what he meant- but he could be sorry for that too. You brought your hands up to cup his face, your fingers softly scratching at his beard, making his eyes flutter shut. “We’ll work through this. Okay?” You say softly. “You don’t have to bear this alone anymore.” 

“I don’t deserve you.” He mutters softly.  

“On the contrary, I been waiting for this for awhile. You owe me.” 

He smirked. “That so?”

“Mhm.” 

“I’ll make it up to you.” He says softly, pulling you closer against him. You wanted to kiss him again, but you could tell what he really needed, was a hug. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, leaning into him- hugging him tightly, and he responded with the same, burying his face into your neck. 

You’ll be alright.

[shadola]

꒰ა hair loss . . .

୨ৎ shadow helps comfort you through tough times and harsh changes

shadow x f. reader. angst. fluff. human shadow a.u. established relationship. reader has a chronic illness that causes hair loss. reader has curly hair, but honestly that part can be ignored. wc :: 1.8k

note from the lamb :: this is very self-indulgent,,

reaching over in search of your warmth, shadow instead found a cold, empty mattress where you had been laying before. you'd been out of bed a while, long enough for your body heat to dissipate from the spot.

this woke shadow up quickly. he groaned softly as he wiped the sleep left in his eyes away, and lifted himself off the bed. he could hear you coughing, a harsh, dry, and violent sound that reverberated down the hall. he followed the noise, scratching his lower stomach and yawning as he made his way to the bathroom.

you noticed him right away, turning your head to face him right as he entered the doorway. "oh shadow" your voice was strained, throat sore and tired from your aggressive coughing fits. "did i wake you up ?"

shadow shook his head. "no" he answered, "i woke up on my own" it was only half true, but he could see the look in your eyes. you were sore, and in pain, and he didn't want to make you feel any worse. guilt for waking him up was the last thing you needed. "are you okay ?" he asked

you didn't answer his question, turning to face the sink again. you were staring at yourself in the mirror, your look intense and almost disgusted as you looked at your reflection. your hand rose to your head, running your fingers through your hair. by the time you had gotten to the end of it, you had a sizeable amount of hair around your fingers.

shadow frowned, looking around the bathroom counter. the granite top around the sink was covered in your hair.

"it's getting worse" you said, voicing the thing both you and shadow were already thinking. "more of my hair is falling out"

shadow's eyes moved back up to you. the hair loss was becoming more obvious. but he could clearly see chunks of your hair were thinner than others, and in certain parts it was so thin he could see the skin of your scalp. "hey, it's okay" he knew it wouldn't help you feel any better.

people always said that hair was just that, hair. they always say 'it's just hair. it'll grow back'. but that was never really true. hair is such a big part of a person's identity. the color, the texture, the style. it was a way of self expression, something that connected a person to their roots, their family, their culture. it's never just hair.

and shadow knew this. he knew your hair was important to you. he knew you spent so much time taking care of it, giving your curls the best treatment possible, putting them in the best styles to protect them. he could only imagine how jarring it would be to see it all falling out.

he could come up with some idea. his hair was important to him too. he rarely cut it other than trimming off dead ends, he'd been growing it out for years. dying it, keeping it healthy. it was part of who he was, the same way your hair was a part of who you were. but he couldn't imagine what it would feel like to go through losing it, and not being able to do anything to stop it.

"here, sit down" shadow grabbed a towel from the rack hanging on the wall and laid it down on the bathroom floor. he nodded to it, waiting for you to take a seat before grabbing a hairbrush and scissors, and moving the small bathroom trash-bin near him. he sat down behind you, and as gentle and tender as he could gathered your hair, and pulled it to your back.

"what are you doing ?" you asked. but shadow didn't answer. he worked in silence, using a mix of his hands, the hairbrush and scissors to trim, and remove the dead and loose pieces of hair from your head. he did his best to not pull too much out, doing his best to only get the pieces that were already falling out.

less than a few minutes in he already had a good amount of your hair in the bin. interested, you tried turning your head to see what exactly he was doing. though you already had some idea, you were curious to see how much more you had lost.

before you could see though, you felt shadow's hands on your jaw, gently turning your head away, facing your forwards again. "don't worry about it" his voice was soft, basically a whisper, like he was preventing non-existent viewers from hearing this tender and vulnerable moment. "you don't need to see it"

it took just under five minutes before he was satisfied with his work. your hair was significantly shorter, but shadow had managed to cut it in a way that had mostly covered the bald spots, and made the thinner sections of your hair blend in practically seamlessly with the rest of your head. he was quite proud of himself, actually. "stay right there, baby"

you nodded your head, and shadow rose to his feet, grabbing the garbage bin with him. he cleared off the bathroom counter of your hair, putting it in the bin with the hair he had trimmed off. when it was all cleaned off, he unraveled a few handfuls of toilet paper from the roll, using it to cover the lost hair. he adjusted the paper, adding more until he was sure the hair was visible anymore.

"can i get up now ?" you asked, looking up at him from your spot on the bathroom floor. shadow nodded, taking your hand and helping you to your feet. once you were standing, his hands moved to your shoulders, putting you in front of the mirror again.

"what do you think ?" he asked, "does it feel any better ?"

you took a moment to look at your reflection, hand reaching up almost instinctively to run your fingers through your hair. shadow reached up to grab your hair, pulling it away from your hair. "try not to touch it too much"

you nodded, "i like it.." you finally said "it looks,, normal"

shadow hummed, nodding his head. "i think you look beautiful. you know that, right ?"

you turned to face him, though he was too busy looking at you through the mirror. "even with all my hair gone ?" you asked

"mhm" shadow hummed, nodding his head. "you're always going to be the most beautiful girl in the world to me. until the world ends"

you couldn't help but smile, though it was a little bittersweet. you didn't like to think about it, but you knew at this rate you'd be losing most, if not all of your hair in due time. it was comforting to know that it wouldn't change how shadow thought of you, even though your opinion of yourself would change greatly.

you were pulled out of your thoughts suddenly when you noticed shadow grabbing the scissors again. for a second, you thought he was going to put them away. you didn't realize what he was really doing until the blades of the scissors were already in his hair. "what are you doing ?!" your eyes widened, brows furrowing as you watched shadow begin cutting away at his hair.

his hair fell to the ground, the ends dyed deep red completely gone. by the time he was done, his hair that had just moments ago reached his mid-back, now barely brushed against his chin.

you were dumbfounded, staring at him with your eyes wide and mouth agape. "what.. why did you do that ?" you asked him

shadow shrugged his shoulders, "why not ?" he answered your question with one of his own. but it didn't really give you an answer at all.

"because your hair !" you exclaimed

"yeah. my hair" he repeated, crouching down to sweep the hair up from the ground with his hands. he dumped it in the bin with your hair and the toilet paper. "so what ?"

you could feel your eyes burning. whether it was from your tiredness or tears building up against your lash line, you didn't know. "but you love your hair"

"i love you more," he responded. he stood up again, reaching out to you and resting his hand on the small of your back. "let's go back to bed, okay ?" you nodded your head and let shadow guide you back down the hall.

climbing into bed made you realize just how exhausted you were, both physically and mentally. you weren't even sure if shadow had gotten into his side of the bed before you had fallen asleep.

it was well past noon the next day when you woke up again, warm rays of light spinning in through the blinds, leaving stripes of gold across the bedroom. shadow was missing from the bed, the sheets on his side neatly made, blanket tucked under the mattress.

you got out of bed, slowly making your way out of the room. your body was still sore, joints and muscles in a pain you had learned to live with for the most part. you made your way to the living room, where you were met by shadow. he was sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table as he watched the t.v. a show that looked like an old mecha anime. probably from the 90's if you had to guess by the style of the art and animation.

his eyes were fixed to the screen, a hot cup of coffee in his hands. he was dressed for the day, dark washed denim jeans, and a baggy band t-shirt. your eyes landed on his hair, the brain fog from your sleep clearing, you remembered the events from last night.

it looked like he had gone back and fixed it up a bit. the front of his hair brushed against his cheek bones, and the underside of the back of his head was shaved down close to his head. the red dye that had been in his hair had been almost all cut off, the only remaining bits were at the very tips of his bangs. though, knowing how much shadow enjoyed the red dye, he'd probably touch it up again soon.

"mornin' baby" he greeted, pausing the t.v and turning his attention to you. "how'd you sleep ?"

"i slept well," you answered, sitting down next to him. you reached up to touch his hair, running your hand over the shaved underside. it was soft, and despite the style being something you'd never seen on him, the short hair suited him well. "i like your hair"

you didn't miss the smile that crossed his lips, even though it was only there for a second. "thanks, love" he said "and i like yours too"

[ronancecats]

ok you got me super curious. why don't you like steve?

This is gonna be a long one, so unbuckle your seatbelts, slam on the brakes, and do a front flip out of the windshield.

I'm going to break it down by season because that will help me get all my points down, and I don't want to leave anything out. Also, a little disclaimer: I do like Steve's writing, and I appreciate the way he's developed and the role he plays, but with that being said, I still don't like him as a character.

I'm going to try and explain each reason the best I can, but I low-key suck at that so I'm sorry if anything seems confusing.

SEASON 1:

season 1 is the season that is most self-explanatory of why I don't like him, I don't think anyone genuinely likes him in season 1.

-He literally slut shamed Nancy. Like...I don't care if he was only a teenager/had bad friends. He would've been 17 and old ENOUGH to understand the consequences of that and that it would hurt Nancy...that's why he did it in the first place.

-he was awful to Jonathan, and I'm not necessarily talking about the breaking camera thing, I'm talking about what he said to him before the fight. He called him queer (a slur back in the 80's), insulted his family, and insinuated that he had something to do with his little brother's disappearance.

-He pressured Nancy into sex. NO, HE DID NOT SA HER. It was consensual, but with that being said, something can still be consensual and enjoyed while having pressure on top of that. Also, he didn't stop Carol when she was mocking Nancy and making her uncomfortable; he was smug about it. But yes, I understand he was just a teenager then.

-He just, in general, didn't respect her boundaries at all and made Barb's disappearance about himself AT FIRST.

SEASON 2:

-He left Nancy, black out drunk, at a party. Yes, he was heartbroken, but he left her there and she was really lucky that Jonathan was there.

There's not much else in season 2 honestly. Mostly my feelings about him in s2 come from the first couple episodes when all he wanted was to make Nancy forget about her guilt and leaving her at the party. But yeah, I don't care about him in s2.

SEASON 3:

There's nothing necessarily bad about him in s3. I just hate how they made him this big character but then pushed Jonathan to the side, but that has nothing to do with his character. That's just a personal pet peeve I have with the duffers.

S3 was definitely his best season and the only one I can say I liked him in. They let him focus on his platonic relationships instead of making him chase after Nancy the whole time, and I like that. If they kept him like this for s4, I probably wouldn't dislike him as much as I do, but they just had to make him go back to that and it ruined him for me. Hopefully in s5 they'll let him be like his s3 self again.

SEASON 4:

-the six nugget speech. OH MY GOD BROTHER EUGH. I could make a whole essay about this, but long story short, it was completely unhinged and just shows he only wants Nancy for his dream, and he doesn't really care about her dreams in a romantic sense. He's in love with the idea of her, not her.

In conclusion, I only like Steve when they don't make his entire character revolve around Stancy and that dead relationship. Let Stancy die, I BEG OF YOU. It's better for Steve, Nancy, Jonathan, and literally everyone who watched the damn show without rose-colored glasses for Steve.

If they just let the love triangle die in s2, I can almost guarantee that I would like Steve more. But alas, they didn't and kept it around as if we don't already know how it's going to end.

Anyway, I probably went into way more detail than you wanted me to, but oh well. I wanted to be honest.

[penguinmerchant]

"Pet" Binding (with a twist)

This binding is a little different than what I've done so far! This is "Pet" by C.S.Pacat, but with notes from @lucky-clover-gazette. The notes on this read along were SO funny and I knew I wanted to feature them in a bound work, but they wouldn't really make sense without the context of the original work. And so I mushed both the original work and the notes together!

So the idea here was to make it look like a composition notebook, complete with stickers on the front and (as we'll soon see...) drawings and scrawled notes on the inside. "Sam Reads CaPri" is the tag that Lucky Clover uses for her read along notes, and so I used it here just to make it clear this wasn't just the canon work. I used black and silver marbled paper to complete the look of the composition notebook, and more direct-to-film transfers for the "stickers" on the cover. I think it turned out fantastically!

More pics and a LOT of notes under the cut.

So I thought this was a really interesting project because I wanted to use the original work but add to it. I...acquired a PDF of Pet (let me have this one, I bought 2 official english copies of the short stories AND a Polish one I can't even read!) and messed with the margins a bit to make more room for Lucky Clover's notes. Here's what it looks like inside.

This whole thing was done in Libre Office, by the way. I'm sure there's a better program out there that would have done this WAY easier but I didn't want to have to learn how to use Adobe (or pay for it, honestly). But so the little notes are added with textboxes and placed next to their respective quotes, and the quotes themselves are highlighted with highlighters used for bibles, which is apparently a whole subset of office supplies I never knew about! I needed those highlighters specifically because I wanted to have archival color (no idea if regular highlighters are, these are just the only things that came up from a quick search) AND they're really good because they are made not to bleed through really thin bible paper. So on regular paper you can barely see them through the other side at all. They're great! Thanks bible highlighters, I know you thought you would be used for more holy purposes but really there's no better writer than Pacat, so you're in good hands!

So the other problem was that some of the notes were too long to shove into the margins, even after I had made them bigger than normal. That meant post-it notes! Now these aren't actual post-it notes, obviously (I can't imagine how terrible it would be to line those up in the printer) but I used colored printer paper and cut them to size, and it worked out. I used a bit of glue to get them down, and made it so that all of them fold away from the text so that everything is still readable. And then I made some of them poke out the top and sides, because I liked the way it looked.

There are little doodles throughout, some of which I colored in with a highlighter, and I the first word in each section is in a scribbly font, which I thought was funny. All of the notes are likewise in a handwritten font (Amanda Rose) and slightly rotated so that they're not in line with the text.

I also did not trim any of the sides of this textblock, so it's kind of uneven (deckled edges are common on the long side of the textblock, not so much on the top and bottom) but I kind of needed all the space. No endbands in this one either, I wanted to keep it more notebooky and the uneven pages meant it would have been impossible to do anyway. Everything else was bound normally, so aside from the two thousand years it took me to typeset this it was a pretty easy bind.

Oh, and last but not least, the endpapers:

Plain brown butcher paper, in honor of Berenger.

[blorger]

I'm sorry but no.

jkr wanted to have her cake and eat it too, she wanted the pats on the back for including a queer character but she didn't want to risk losing readers by stating Dumbledore's sexuality outright in the books.

Her declaration that Dumbledore was gay came out at a time when people were starting to rebel against the concept of queer baiting and overall deliberate under-representation of LGBT+ people; the coy "this character is actually so and so I just never put it in the book/movie/tv show" wink to queer audiences is nothing new and people were getting tired of the performative nature of it.

LGBT+ representation used to be so scant and one-note that we'd settle for crumbs just to have something but in the late 2000's people were starting to get tired of the crumbs and began demanding that supposed progressives start putting their money where their mouth was.

jkr, who at the time was trying to position herself as a champion for social rights and who'd always had a large contingent of queer fans (the HP fandom has always been full of LGBT+ people), should have known that. Her declaration was tone-deaf to the extreme, especially considering how lukewarm and deliberately nebulous she'd always been about the subject and how proud she seemed of her admission, like she was expecting a GLAAD award for it.

Did jkr always imagine Dumbledore as gay? Possibly, I don't know; it is true that a lot of the details that make up a character's profile never make it onto paper/film but there's a very big difference between randomly declaring that the Weasleys have a cousin named Mafalda that just never made it into the books and proudly declaring that she's a progressive visionary who made her favorite character in the books a queer man ... who decided to live a celibate life to atone for his naughty naughty involvement with an Evil wizard.

“I had always seen Dumbledore as gay, but in a sense that’s not a big deal. The book wasn’t about Dumbledore being gay. It was just that from the outset obviously I knew he had this big, hidden secret, and that he flirted with the idea of exactly what Voldemort goes on to do, he flirted with the idea of racial domination, that he was going to subjugate the Muggles. So that was Dumbledore’s big secret.

Why did did he flirt with that?” she asks. “He’s an innately good man, what would make him do that. I didnt even think it through that way, it just seemed to come to me, I thought ‘I know why he did it, he fell in love.’ And whether they physically consummated this infatuation or not is not the issue. The issue is love. It’s not about sex. So that’s what I knew about Dumbledore. And it’s relevant only in so much as he fell in love and was made an utter fool of by love. He lost his moral compass completely when he fell in love and I think subsequently became very mistrusting of his own judgment in those matters so became quite asexual. He led a celibate and bookish life.”

[x]

This is gross, the way she equates homosexuality with a flirtation with the dark arts is gross, the 90ies "I don't see color"-style attitude is gross, she clearly isn't as progressive as she likes to think she is and this is when people started seeing it.

I think the Gay Dumbledore situation gets confusing because jkr definitely got it from both sides after her declaration so the issue got muddled. The bigots protesting against this faintest of representations just fueled jkr's belief that she's a champion for gay rights and I think a large part of her audience sided with her because the alternative was being lumped in with the crazies; it's also true that this is when people started realising that jkr wasn't who she said she was.

I hope I'm not coming across as too heated, I honestly don't think you or anyone who thinks like this is in any way shape or form wrong, if the author of the hp books was anyone else I'd feel the same way. I just think you're extending grace to a person that doesn't deserve it and inadvertently playing into her hands.

I have a lot of Feelings about the subject because this when jkr lost me; I have a very clear recollection of the fandom landscape and the feeling of disappointment that permeated my corner of the internet at the time so I know I'm not the only one either. Sorry for the rant

a small rant; people who deny dumbledores queer identity annoy me. they say it does no harm to ignore or deny it when in fact no, it is EXTREMELY harmful to our community who already have such little representation in media and when we do people ignore or deny it. you can not even use the excuse of 'it does not change the story' when in fact albus and gellert's relationship is a key event in wizarding history that does affect canon. that is all. ( this rant was brought to you by a person on youtube comments who has annoyed me greatly by saying Dumbledore being gay is not relevant to the story and should be ignored 🤗 )

and to add; not only is it important to movement of queer people becoming more represented but it also brings comfort to people like me who heavily struggled with their sexuality, knowing that their favourite character was just. like. them.

so yes it really is something that annoys me and SHOULD be discussed because you are erasing queer representation.

[kidokear]

Imagen how entertaining it would be if these 2 interact. And I'm a fan of possessive/jealous/protective Stolas (Which I don't see enough of <(＿　＿)>)

[skitskatdacat63]

More matador!Fernando! Ferrari this time :D (I can't help myself.....)

- facial hair

+ closeups

I really wanted the vibe of this Nando pic, I think I did pretty well??

[synthshenanigans]

Jashtober Day 7- Entropy

Very very lightly based on Dream (Outro from Calamity)

[flamesignite]

He followed beside him as he showed him the set of colors. "That looks perfect. We can buy them for our next piece." He says smiling, this was just what they needed. He was excited for the next time they would both be in the studio together to paint a special piece together.

"I am excited to get paint with you again." He says honestly, the smile was full on his face. He couldn't help this feeling of giddiness he felt when he saw Atem enjoying himself. This had been the perfect idea from the beginning and he was really excited to see his reaction about dinner tonight.

"Me too, I've been wanting to do this with you for so long. I am so glad to be able to finally do things with you that I didn't get to before." It felt right and perfect and from the looks of things Atem wasn't nervous or anxious anymore and his face was so much brighter and happier.

"The days not over yet, we still have a few things left for the night. Dinner will be the next location, and I am really excited for you to see that." He grins softly, he checks the time, they had time to go back to the apartment by cab and actually put the stuff away and they could just walk to the restaurant from there this time and get there on time. The sunset should be setting too.

"Is there anything else you want from here before we check out?"

"Well... in that case... there's this." He led Roy to the paints aisle, which to those unaware of the hobby may be a little overwhelmed by the large and elaborate selection, along with a little sample area for you to test out the colors. But that wasn't what Atem was after. If he wanted a specific color they'd be here too long, and he didn't want to keep his Colonel waiting. But... there was a set of paints that Atem would usually buy, as he liked playing around with the colors to see what would happen. One of his earlier works was just him playing with color, maybe he'll show Roy one day, it's actually a pretty funny one.

"This pretty much will get you any color you want, so long as you're willing to play around with it a bit." He brought that with him and presented it to Roy, trying to not act like a kid in a toy shop. He'll have to set aside a night for the both of them to make another piece, like they did when Roy got to see his studio last time. Just the thought of that made Atem giggle a little bit.

"Ahh~ I'm so, so, so glad I finally got to shop at an arts store with you. You have no idea how much I wanted to do this~"

[elvenbeard]

After unsuccessfully trying to create a recolor for a variety of clothing items for about 4 hours I have a wholly new appreciation for the modders in this fandom XD

[oh-men-of-dark-and-dismal-fate]

sometimes i amaze myself with the mental leaps i'll use to justify buying more yarn to start another project.

[raydianbluesandhues]

YAYY and also speaking of anything abut dr. von blot? hes becoming one of my fav inkys so

lil scientist guy? i have a few Hcs about him --

I never played the DS version but I DID watch a 4 hour 100% walkthrough of it. i am mentally ill

anyways.

So I originally thought that the scientist Inky that talks to Blob before the mutant Inky boss fight was just a random one that was interested in studying Blob. rightfully so because I would want to research him too if I was on the losing side of the war. like tell me your secrets magic man

But they're the same person

Mutated Ink was Von's lil project that he was working on for,, quite a bit of time really. he wanted to impress Comrade, his superior, with something that could change the war forever

Of course, this meant holing himself up in his lab as he worked, making him miss the entirety of the first war and therefore missing his chance to show Comrade the fruits of his labor. he had no knowledge of anything that was happening until Blob fucking jumpscared him by falling into his lab Undertale style

like SIR GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

I think surviving that rocket is a miracle in and of itself, I would imagine that the mutated ink that caused him to turn into de Blot probably came off in the explosion and he turned back to normal

something something the explosion had color energy in it and with him already being in a weakened state the mutated ink came off

the one difference between him and Comrade is the fact that Von lost due to his temper, and Comrade lost due to his arrogance. Von started this wanting to impress someone who was off doing something else entirely and had no knowledge of anything happening in Chroma

speaking of what was happening in Prisma I think Von went over there asap after hearing about what was going on

he was so caught up with his research and being "de Blot" that he had no knowledge of Comrade's shenanigans in Prisma

he was involved in the creation of the Spikeys and the updated versions of the Elites, and I think that would've gotten him a bit more attention from Comrade, which is WHAT HE WANTED IN THE FIRST PLACE

like, imagine being noticed by your idol after like. what. 5 years?

i think he'd try again with the mutated ink because it was successful in its own right and he, again, thought that it would help them out in the war

with it being so close to the end of the war though, and with the Raydians starting to revolt, I would like to think he gave up on it again and discarded it

HOWEVER.

i like to think that the mutant Inky was a product of this. with him discarding the batch of mutated ink he was working on perhaps some inkies thought that it was a misplaced shipment of ink that needed to be put in the factory

and then boom! confused ink monster fucking up everything

now obviously Blob and co. dont recognize Von because he's not a blob anymore (outside of Pinky)

but von CLEARLY remembers them and of course, hates their fucking guts

SOMETHING ELSE I THOUGHT OF. very quickly before i end the post

he def had something to do with the Blancs. if I remember correctly regular ink will kill anything it touches, including Raydians (no so fun fact: if you roll over a raydian while you are inked, the raydian dies), but in the DS game the mayor gets hit with a glob of what I'm guessing is mutated ink, and he was just annoyed

mutated ink is still ink, but i guess it's not as corrosive as regular ink is? after all, it is mutated ink, it explains why the Blancs look the way they do. they've mutated into something.. unholy

i think comrade would've told him about his plans. his plans to take over Prisma and the world, and bring the raydians to their knees. Von would just look at him and be like "yeah you know how that ended for you last time. it's not like they're gonna listen to you. unless you brainwash them of course"

an idea was born that day

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

I have half a tattoo!

[the-cooler-king]

I would like to read berserk again so I can get a tattoo

[nonasuch]

it's that time:

Miss Universe National Costume 2024

is Here!

that's right! Everyone's favorite justification for the continued existence of beauty pageants has returned. with Looks!

Some of this year's top Themes include:

foliage!

gold!

weapons!

giant birds!

letting seventh-graders make your costume, apparently!

I did watch the video, but the most complete version I could find is missing a bit at the beginning. So I can't tell you what the inspiration was for anything before Bolivia; on the bright side that's fewer shitty rhyming couplets I had to suffer through.

Let's begin with:

Miss Angola! Tone down the color palette a little, and this honestly could have worked for that year the Met Gala was Catholicism- themed.

Miss Argentina, looking just thrilled about the sparkly toucan on her head. I feel like this is supposed to read as some combination of jungle/river/waterfall but this is from the part that I couldn't find on video.

Miss Aruba, I don't know if your giant spangly bird headdress was supposed to look like a potoo, but I am choosing to believe that it's on purpose and I love that for you.

(okay I checked, it's an endangered Aruban burrowing owl. even better!)

This is like the fourth year in a row Miss Australia has just worn a regular-ass gown. Do better!

You know who's doing better? Miss Bahamas, is who. Look at that giant fish. I wish I had video of this, I bet it moves.

Ah yes, when I think of Belarus I definitely think 'verdant tropical foliage.' also is it just me or is does the bodice fit very weird.

Holy shit, Miss Bolivia. This is where the video kicks in, so I can tell you that she somehow managed to dance in it. I'm a little afraid that this costume is going to eat Miss Aruba.

Miss Bonaire is from a Caribbean island that I don't think has ever competed in Miss Universe before? They have a national marine park that this costume is based on, which is is nice!

Miss Botswana's costume is made of leather and cowrie shells, and she is clearly having a great time being able to move freely without 75 pounds of headdress or platform heels. She did a very cute dance that kind of felt like a flex on her more heavily encumbered competitors.

Miss Brazil is wearing a tribute to Brazil's mineral wealth, which is something that basically every country with a mine in it has done at some point. I like the pannier-esque things, I guess.

Love a Tribute To A Weirdly Specific Thing, and Miss British Virgin Islands' mail-themed costume is a wonderful example of such.

Miss Bulgaria showed up dressed as a supervillain, her outfit is vaguely themed around 'the strength of women' and she just spat out a MOUTHFUL of BLOOD? on stage??? No idea how to react to that, frankly.

I'm going to pause to get the next batch of images together, and also to recover from the 'spat out a mouthful of blood' thing, because I was NOT prepared for that.