#his wife is so cute honestly she made sure he had everything he needed and offered us water and snacks and stuff

[punkrockisafulltimejob]

I have half a tattoo!

[dontbesoweirdkira]

If you don't mind can I request any yandere you want and see reader in a wedding dress they thought reader was planning a marriage turn out she just like the dress

A/N: BAHAHAHAA this is so funny. Yes of course, im *assuming* you are referring to the MK guys? Just send in another request if not😭😭

Characters: MK1 Johnny Cage, MK11 Kung Lao and MK11 Erron Black as a wild card lol.

Warnings: buffoonery and Johnny Carlton 😖

Requests: always open 24/7

Masterlist

Johnny ca(needs to be arrested asap)ge

Oh boy…why did you have to get this man started?? I'm going to assume you just thrifted a pretty white dress, not realizing it was a wedding dress in the impulsivity of the buy.

When you got back home to try it on, it unexpectedly fit like a glove. Accentuating every nice thing about your body. The lace and embroidered rhinestones made everything just 100 times better. A gorgeous glam dress that you’re sure Johnny would love just as much as you do.

Excited, you waited by the front door for his arrival to show off your new purchase.

Immediately he froze at the doorstep, the sight of you in this little git up took him aback.

You stuck a cute pose and did a full body spin to show him every detail, egarly asking him what he thought.

“Ta-Daaaaa! So, what do ya think? I picked it out at the charity shop down the street. I figured it’d be perfect for a special occasion..”

Girl you are so damn foolish😩 that man is going feral now

Johnny had been playing his obsession very cool this entire time. Only maybe slipping up once but now…???

That “special occasion” is obviously the day you’ll become his wife. What day is more special than that?! He’s so happy that you initiated this first. He’s been wanting to make you his forever since he’s met you and obviously you feel the same way too.

See, you’re perfect for each other! He knew you were the one. Only a bit sad he didn’t realize your feelings sooner or else he would’ve taken you to Vegas months ago.

“When I gave you my credit card to get something nice I didn’t expect for you to buy a wedding dress. I’m not complaining tho~ it was only a matter of time until it happened.”

….what?

You had looked back down at your dress and realized that it did look oddly similar to one…but that was just a coincidence.

You explained to him that no, it wasn’t supposed to be a wedding dress. You had picked it up because of the detailing, you figured it’d be perfect for the next red carpet.

Ohhhhh he sees what you’re doing here. You’re playing dumb, this was only a hint that you wanted him to claim you. He’ll promptly propose. It’s the traditional way of doing things. ;)

You reiterated again, more seriously this time that this was only a dress for his red carpet. Honestly more of an impulse buy if anything. You hadn’t realized what the dress actually was. It was far too soon to get married and you wasn’t even certain if Johnny was who you wanted to be with in the long run.

His vision of you walking down the isle in that snatched, sexy little dress was shattered… for a mere moment he became overwhelmed with sadness. Wha— what do you mean that you’re not sure you want to marry him? Who else would you marry in place of him? You’ve been planning to leave him, haven’t you?..

Quickly that sorrow turned to anger and a side of Johnny you’ve never seen came out to bite.

His eyes were narrow and sinister as he peered down at you, over his expensive sunglasses. His voice was low yet venomously brash.

“Sweetheart—“

“You don’t get to play silly little games like this and get my hopes up for nothing. We’re getting married, there’s no other option better than me. And if you think for a second that you’re going to leave me—heh—-I’ll make your life agonizing.”

Oh..

It wasn’t long after, that he held you down and shoved a ring on your finger…ahem romantically proposed and you were eloped with an insane contractual agreement.

Poor thing…use critical judgment next time you’re out shopping.

Kung lao

You were out at the markets getting some groceries and household items. Normally Kung Lao would accompany you, but after much negotiation, he decided to let you go out alone. He was well familiar with the shopkeepers and locals so there wasn’t much to worry about. And he didn’t fear you being hit on there as everyone in the town knew who you belonged to. Any man who was stupid enough to talk to you was a man who was certainly going to die.

Of course like any woman, after your necessities were brought, you decided to do a bit of window shopping of vendors that were in the area.

Nothing new or interesting caught your attention until an older woman pulled you into her store to show you her selection of dresses. They were all so gorgeously designed and hand crafted, they must’ve taken ages to make.

“I have something very special for you. I think this will make that man of yours very pleased.”

After searching through a few boxes, she found the one she was looking for and displayed it for you. The dress was a striking red with gold embellishments and pleats that were colorfully embroidered.

It was so well done that it almost appeared painted on. It’d kill you to have that dress, even trying it on would be a dream in itself. But sadly, you knew that anything at this level had to be exorbitant in price. There’s no way that you could afford, let alone justify paying for it.

Thanking the shop keeper and complimenting the dress, you shook your head and declined. Explaining to her that this purchase would make you struggle for a couple of months.

The old lady wouldn’t take no for an answer and pushed the box towards you.

“My dear, this one was made for you. I must let you have it, don’t worry about payment. Just make sure I get to see you in it.”

Shocked, you asked a couple of times if she was serious and she was very adamant about you taking it home with you. She winked at you and sent you on your way.

Excited, you rushed home and into your room. Entirely running past your boyfriend in the process to hurried try the dress on.

It was exactly your size. It was almost as if if was made exactly to your measurements. You spun around in the mirror a million times so happy to be able to own something so luxurious.

“Y/N? What’s going on in there?? Are you okay? You didn’t even greet me when you came in.”

Opening the bedroom door you surprised him with the dress.

“Can you believe it, Kung Lao? Some lady at the market gifted this to me. She said it was made for me and insisted that I take it home.”

Yeah…ummm

That “random” lady wasn’t so random. He’d been planning this moment for over a year. He took out half of his savings to purchase it and have it custom built for you. All of your favorite colors and style preferences were put into this. He told the lady that whenever she was finished with it, to give it to you the next time that she sees you.

It was a surprise seeing you in the dress though. He knew you’d look beautiful but not this damn good. All of the details brought out the best in yourself. It wasn’t form fitting as it was a traditional xiuhuefu but it still such a perfect fit on you. He was proud that did exceptionally well in designing this for you.

Acting dumb, he asked many questions like who the lady was and was you sure it was truly for free. So manipulative…

“I guess this is a sign of fate…that we are destined to be married soon.”

Ummmm….what?

You laughed and explained how it was just a traditional dress that you plan to wear at a festival or something. What was he talking about marriage? It’s just a pretty dress right??….right?

Girl—-

He explained that no, it was actually a traditional dress only worn by brides. —And that since you was not only “gifted” it, but that it fit you well must mean that you’re ready to be his bride.

“Oh…no…I had no idea, Lao. I just like the dress, I don’t wanna be married to you.”

Let me take a sip of my drink😪

Immediately his face scrunched up in anger and he backed you into the wall.

“You don’t wanna be married to me?! Don’t you know how much money I spent on this dress? Do you know how many hours that poor old lady spent on this, customizing everything for you? I even tried to make the experience receiving the dress special. And you don’t want to marry me?”

He harshly grabbed your chin and pulled your face closer to his

“You don’t get a choice in this, my precious flower. Any other girl would kill to even be noticed by the great Kung Lao..don’t be such a fool and make this difficult.”

Yeah..we’ll at least your wedding was absolutely massive and filled with tons of yummy foods.

Erron Black

(Yes I know Erron’s mom was crappy but for plot purposes please let’s pretend he lovvveeeed her okay.)

Erron had left you back at home while he took care of some business and agreed to let you go through the attic. It was very very old and cluttered and he couldn’t care less about what you did with most of the stuff. He hasn’t seen most of it since he was a much younger fella anyways.

He told you there might be a few old clothes that were his mothers and sisters and you were free to take anything you’d like. You're about their size anyhow and he’d rather them on you than to be rotting in a box any longer.

You made your way through tons of old nicnacks and relics, it took a few hours of searching to find any of his old childhood things since they were in the faaaar back.

Eventually you found a hefty box that read women’s name on it and brought it back downstairs.

Hats, blouses, skirts and accessories were all in there. Not much that you’d wear since they were all a little dated and too mature for you—but there was one thing that caught your eyes. Something wrapped in dainty floral wrapping paper and tied with a pretty bow.

……Erron did give you permission to open whatever you’d like so I’m sure this wouldn’t hurt him.

Upon carefully unwrapping the delicately wrapped piece, the most gorgeous vintage wedding dress was revealed. Yes it was rather dated like most of the clothes with big puffy sleeves and a high neckline for modesty. Kind of gaudy as well but still an eye catching design nonetheless.

You held it up to your body and it looked like it'd be a perfect fit. This isn’t too surprising, but it fit you rather well. You looked straight out of the 19th century but it was cute, you put your hair up really nice and added some of the accessories from the box to complete the look.

You strutted around the house and pretended to be some snobby rich woman on her wedding day.

“Why yes. The orderves were made by Frederic, the renowned chef and the silk table cloths were imported from across the seas….hohoho.”

In the middle of your play time, Erron walked in and saw you in the dress. He paused and observed you up and down. It seemed as though he was a bit upset by the sight of you.

Maybe it was the wrong choice to put on this dress of all things. This was probably the one thing that was unspokenly off limits.

You quickly try to deescalate the situation and explain yourself. That you just thought the dress was pretty and you wanted to fool around in it. That you didn’t think much of it or that he’d be home so soon.

“I’m not mad, y/n. For a second I got a glimpse of my ma again. This dress is perfect on you.”

You twirled around in place and asked him if he truly thought so.

“I’m as honest as I’d ever be right now. What do you say we go down to the chapel right now?”

Thinking he wasn’t being serious, you laughed and began to take the dress off

“You’re not the marrying type, Erron.”

His demeanor turned from a sentimental bliss to a pissed off cowboy in seconds.

What did you mean he’s not the marrying type? He ain’t no saint but he’s been good to you and planned on being so for a long while.

“What did you mean by that, darlin?”

He stared straight and menacingly at you with his drawing hand on his holster. Your next words better be catious.

“N-nothing. Just figured you weren’t into the marriage thing because neither am I. That’s all.”

That’s all? You think you can just wear his deceased mothers wedding gown without any plans of commitment.

He suddenly pulled out his pistol out of his holster causing you to flinch. He didn’t point it at you but he inspected it before putting in a cartridge that was stored on his other hip.

“Dear, I know I ain’t no romantic but if you think for a second I’d let you walk out of this relationship alive…you must be one dumb broad.”

A chilling smile plastered his face as he pointed it towards you

“So what do ya say? You going to come down to the chapel with me or go have tea with the queen in purgatory? …your choice.”

Of course you had to say yes. That proposal was so…romantic? Hey, at least the priest down at the old chapel prayed over your soul and gave you a cross if you so ever shall need it dealing with a devil like him.

[ukeyyyo]

Some headcanons with Bi-Han (relationships)

A/N: This is my first time writing something like this.I was just bored at night, so don’t judge me, please 🫠

- He’s cold at first, it’s quite hard to earn his respect and love. It will for sure take you lots of time.

- But once he will realize your feelings…He will still doubt it. This feeling is kinda forbidden for him, so he won’t really know how to deal with it.

- That’s why he may start avoiding you, sometimes even be mad for you for no reason. Maybe for making him feel weak and vulnerable.

- To be honest, I can’t even imagine how he would confess his feelings. It’s really hard to think about that lol.

- But i think that it could happen this way : he would be annoyed (either for this feelings or someone might have tried to flirt with you and he was really jealous or both) and then when you two were alone he confessed his feelings out of anger lol.

- When you wanted to hear it again because you didn’t really believe it, he would probably say something like “what you heard.“

- I’m not sure if he would spend time on talking about all of this, since his clan and his duty are always the top priority for him.

- So I think that you two would only talk about it when you have a training or when you’re on a mission.

- Since he’s not familiar with all of these things, surely everything will go really slow. you have to be patient, really.

- But i’m sure that your patience will be worthy of it.

- Since he’s also traditional, first he will make sure to analyze your relationships and then think if you two could be a couple and if you’re worthy of being his consort.

- When he’s confident about his decision, he will propose to you. but not in a romantic way. You know how men in series randomly propose to their s/o, like “We should get married”?. So it would be like that, I guess. he would say something like “I’ve been thinking our relationship over.And I have made a decision that we should get married. Our clan needs an heir so I need a wife.”

- It wouldn’t have sounded good if you didn’t love him, but since you love him you’ll for sure accept it.

- Your wedding ceremony would be really traditional. And beautiful too.

- You know, I have another cute headcanon. Imagine they had maids in their palace and one of them was an old lady, who worked here before his mother died and their mother also loved this maid, because when Bi-Han’s parents just got married this old lady would always treat Bi-Han’s mother nicely and give advices. Plus, she also helped her to take care of her kids. So when Bi-Han’s mother got married she wore a kua headset. It was really beautiful and it was carefully stored. So the old lady offered Bi-Han to give it to you as a special gift.

- Bi-Han wasn’t sure if it was right at first, because it was his mothers and he thought that it should be kept where it was.However, then he thought that maybe his mother would be happy if her daughter-in-law wore her headset for such a special day.So after that he went to the room where you were preparing for the ceremony.And then he gifted this gorgeous headset to you: “This is my late mother’s headset that she wore for her wedding.The old lady offered me to give it to you.I think you should wear it.” And you would be like “Are you sure, Bi-Han?”. He would nod meaning that he agrees and you would be really happy: “Thanks, I will cherish it. It really is a special gift.”

- When you wore it…Bi-Han would for a second see his mother in you. His parents had a portrait from their wedding but it was put in a dusty box…Honestly if he wasn’t capable of holding and controlling his feelings, I think he would actually cry.

- I’m 100% sure that Bi-Han is mama’s boy. He had a special bond with his mother :(

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for sleeping with a 20 year old?

tw: mentions of potential grooming, age gap relationships, nsft/nsfw, vague discussions of sex

So, me (38m) and my wife (39f) are in an open relationship. Basically, we’re both bisexual and not quite ready to limit our sex lives to one person yet. So, we decided to allow friends with benefits situations outside of our relationship. No romantic stuff, no dating, just sex.

In January, my wife went to stay at her best friend’s (28f) house and have some fun together. I don’t mind at all, I was kind of glad to have our apartment to myself for a week. Now, there’s this queer bar that me and my wife frequent and it’s a good mix of all age demographics and identities.

There’s this one trans guy, I’ll call him M, that most people in the local community know because he’s very attractive. He reminds me of a very short Eric Draven mixed with Eddie Vedder. (Oddly specific, I know) Like, he has long-ish curly brown hair, big brown eyes, the sweetest smile ever and he dresses very well. A little grunge here, a little rockstar there. Good jewelry. You get it.

I always catch people staring at him when he’s at the bar with his friends. (We live in Europe btw, legal drinking age is 18.) In short, I find him very cute. He’s basically a micro celebrity among the community and he doesn’t even know it.

So, while my wife was away I went down to the bar and his friend group invited me to come sit with them. We started talking, he’s super funny and we began talking about Pearl Jam because of the shirt I was wearing. Found out he’s obsessed with the music scene of the 90s, specifically rock and grunge, and I happen to have a collection of merchandise of the big 4. I invited him to come check it out and he eagerly accepted. None of his friends wanted to come, so it was just us two. Showed him the stuff, he got super excited about it and I even let him keep one of my Soundgarden shirts and some CDs.

I offered to cook dinner, we ate and then had some weed brownies for dessert. We got posted on the couch, talked for a good while and he began confiding in me. I’m not gonna go into detail because that’s shitty, but he basically told me he’d never had a positive sexual experience up to that point. Apparently all of his exes were switches leaning submissive and he’s purely submissive, so things never really worked out and he never finished with any of them.

I told him about me and my wife’s arrangements and some other stuff about our sex life. (Don’t worry, my wife is 100% okay with this. Even in this context.)

Here’s where I might be the asshole, if not the creep:

Now, I was pretty high at that point and I joked about how I could give him a positive experience. To my surprise, he actually eagerly accepted. I was a bit hesitant because we were both buzzed, but he kept reiterating that he’s consenting and that he’s sure he wants this. So, I made sure he had a good night and he actually ended up sleeping over and we cuddled. It was super nice and he seemed genuinely ecstatic about it the next morning, it was adorable. I was honestly just happy that I was able to give him a positive sexual encounter.

We exchanged numbers, kept texting for two days and he ended up coming over again. Had some more fun together and he went to go sleep over at a friend’s place. At that point, I sort of realized that I may be catching feelings for him. Which is against me and my wife’s rules and also just a horrible idea, especially considering the age gap. So, I let him know that I need some distance and he was super understanding. He was understandably a bit disappointed but didn’t complain or anything.

Once my wife came back, I told her about everything. This is just a thing we do because it helps avoid speculation and unnecessary jealousy. We always tell each other about what happens with our other sexual partners, but only if they consent to it. Which most of them do because they’re our friends. She seemed a bit unnerved by it, not because of the fact that I had feelings for him, but because of the age difference. She said it’s weird and predatory and told me she needed some time to think.

Apparently, she went to go check in on M and asked him if I pressured him into anything. He said it was a 100% mutual thing and he’s very much into older guys, so he enjoyed it quite a lot.

This put her mind at ease but I’m still quite shaken by it. I never stopped to consider the fact that the age difference is quite concerning. I can’t help but feel like a nasty creep that bribed some poor 20 year with old band shirts to come sleep with him. I don’t like that I didn’t even think about it. Talking with M came so easy and we share a lot of interests. I’m not about to go and say he’s 'mature for his age' because he isn’t, he acts like any other 20 year old.

I was just so focused on how attractive and interesting he is to me, I fear I might’ve acted extremely selfish and should’ve stopped to take his lack of experience and his naivety into account. Of course he’d sleep with me, he’s 20 and doesn’t know any better. It should’ve been my job, as the older adult, to put a stop to it. Please don’t hesitate to give it to me straight.

AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[mantizimus]

Now hear me out on this one, how about a Zuko x Wife! Female! Reader one shot? It's set after he became the fire lord, basically reader met him in s1 and was basically this absolute badass, no filter and brutal girl who always showed clear disgust at the thought of intercourse or pregnancy, while also disliking kids and feeling like she won't be a good mother because she didn't have a good one either, but after a while into the marriage thought it over and at how Zuko needed an heir so one day while they're just doing their things she just randomly say : "You know I thought about it and I may tolerate a kid or two."

I hope I hadn't botched it.

Kids

Zuko

One of the things that Zuko would never forget was the first time he met you. And honestly, who could blame him? You were strong, tough, and fierce, with no filter. He was absolutely fascinated by you, even though he hid it until the last minute, because he knew you could use it. And imagine his surprise when he later found out that you loved him too. During the time you were together, the prince of the Fire Nation had talked to you about your future more than once. For the most part, you were more than happy to discuss it with him, except for one cute little detail. Kids. You had a less than ideal childhood, which left its mark on your psyche. You were afraid that you would be a terrible mother, which is why you decided to never have children. To be honest, Zuko himself had caught himself thinking the same thing a few times, but he preferred to ignore it or push it into the back of his mind. The Firebender knew that sooner or later you would have to discuss this, but unfortunately, he never got the chance to do so. And when he did, he had no idea how to start the conversation. "What are you thinking about?" you asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. "Oh, nothing," the prince began to evade the question, but deflated when he noticed your gaze. "Zuko," you sighed, "You do realize that if the situation requires it, I will always listen to you, right?" "I understand. There is just one topic that I have always wanted to discuss with you, but I do not know how." "Is it kids?" at times like these, Zuko could swear that you could read minds. "Yes," he replied. Without giving you time to say a word, he continued, "Look, I understand that you're nervous about this and afraid of ending up just like your parents," the Firebender pulled you close, "But I promise you, Y/N: I'll do everything in my power to make sure you don't end up like that." "And how do you know it will work?" your voice wavered, but only for a split second, which didn't go unnoticed. "Because I believe it. And that you'll be a good mother," there was silence. A sticky, unnerving silence. "I need to think about it," you muttered, slowly moving away from him. He only nodded in understanding.

---

You didn't bring it up for the rest of the day, but the black-haired man decided to give you as much time as you needed. He didn't want you to make a decision under pressure. However, by the time the two of you went to bed, the thought had completely left his head… but not yours.

You spent the entire day thinking. On the one hand, your phobia kept rearing its ugly head, reminding you of your parents' mistakes. On the other hand, you knew that your husband was telling the truth and that he would help you no matter what. Finally, it was time for bed. Before you fell into the arms of Morpheus, you smiled. The decision was made.

---

"You know, I thought about it, and I may tolerate a kid or two," if your husband had been drinking something at the time, he would have spat it out right away. "What?" Zuko asked you, confused. "I agree," you explained. He looked at you in complete confusion for the first few seconds before remembering your conversation last night. "Okay," he told you. "And thank you." "For what?" "For letting him know you'll always be there for me," and with that, you pulled him in for a kiss.

[damiansgoodgirll]

can you make the reader be Damian Priest Wife and brings either their son or daughter to watch him wrestle for the first time either at Money in the Bank or at Backlash in Puerto Rico?

this was so cute 🥹 plus i named the daughter luna but you can change it i don’t mind!

damian priest x reader

money in the bank

you and damian both agreed to keep your daughter luna away from the spotlight. she was only two years old and she didn’t need the constant harassment from the paparazzi everytime you and damian brought her somewhere.

so that’s why everytime you and lune went to see damian in a match you would make sure to stay either in his changing room or in the vip section, away from curious eyes.

you felt a little sad knowing that you couldn’t stay with normal people in normal seats. that’s how you and damian met. you were just a regular fan and one day while he was still at nxt he spotted you in the crowd. before you could leave the arena he sent a guard asking for you and from that day you became inseparable.

but with damian qualifying for money in the bank you wanted to be in the crowd to show him support, to show him that you were there. at first you thought about leaving luna with your mom for just a few days but you knew how she wanted to be there too so you couldn’t say no.

you were both in the crowd, thankful for the seating area you and luna were currently waiting for the show to start. you weren’t too far away from the ring but at the same time you weren’t even too close, you knew how it would get with wrestling fans and you didn’t want to scare luna who was used to no people and silence.

you both couldn’t contain your happiness when you saw damian lifting the briefcase. you knew he saw you because he blew a kiss to the two of you.

with luna in your arms you kept laughing and smiling at how proud you were for him and a few moments later a guard escorted you backstage where damian was waiting for you.

“daddyyyy!” she screamed hopping from your arms to his bigger ones “you did it!”

you smiled at watching that sweet interaction, it made your heart fuller.

“i did it” he said smiling.

“we’re so proud of you amor” you joined the hug. he kept you both close to him and gently he first kissed your daughter’s cheek and then he kissed your lips.

“thank you for being here…and for bringing her here…i know how scared you were to being in the stand with all those people…” he said honestly while luna went to see the briefcase.

“i wanted to…plus everyone was so kind and gentle…i wanted to be here for you baby” you said kissing him again.

but before you could speak again luna started saying how shining the briefcase was and how she wanted one too.

you couldn’t contain your laugh.

“well princesa if you want one too you have to fight” damian knelt at her height.

“i will!” she said smiling, her eyes never leaving the green briefcase.

in that moment you felt like you had everything in your life. love, a man, a daughter, a family. all you ever dreamed of since you were a kid came true.

[fuumiku]

Selkie AU

Ok so on discord we went off. A lot of this is just paraphrasing or copy pasted from buddies hii guys. It’s honestly a fun concept to play with no matter how you turn it around~ I’ll start off with the version I drew these doodles for but it’s all under the cut because it got so long... There’s also always place for different flavors like if they realize the other’s a selkie immediately or over time, etc etc so this is all just food for thought. Marcille is always the instigator though lol, obsessed with him no matter the universe. As a selkie wants to learn more about this human and as a researcher is chasing after this secretive mysterious sea-guy while he very much tries to escape everyone’s attention.

Fisherman Chil & selkie Marcille

Old sad fisherman Chilchuck… He drinks out at sea even. Divorcee dad who’s got nothing waiting for him on land anymore. He’s on the sea every day to get fish to sell at the wet market or to the butcher, the sky and sea’s grey and everything’s dull and tedious. Seals are nothing special either. The only stuff he knows about selkies really could have some selkie storybooks he reads to his daughters. Meanwhile selkie Marcille… You could go a lot of different routes I feel. You know I feel like being a selkie fits with Marcille and her mom, with that interaction of "you’ll have to let others go and deal with that", like in this AU she’ll always be different and will have to leave people behind for the sea eventually here and there and whatnot…

Chilchuck and worksongs... Fisherman Chilchuck singing sea shanties while selkie Marcille sings her songs of the sea and then she hears him and gets curious and follows him back on land or something…… Tries to blend in with humans just so she’s like. What’s his deal. But them only meeting out at sea is very cute as well. Eventually she gets on his boat and they hang out. Melancholic psychological horror sea tragedy-romance would be fun idk. Maybe he starts hearing a woman sing out at sea randomly and thinks it’s the alcohol. But he’d be a goner already lmao. Like don’t get me wrong it’d take a while of actual interactions for him to actually fall in love, but also ~~he’s lonely~~ pretty blonde woman waaaa. Siren imagery hehe. "Hmmm I didn't know selkies had hypnotic voices as well" (they don't. he's down outrageous and he knows it.) Mr "in denial so bad maybe magic is the answer yep for sure". I want her to hear him singing something he used to for his daughters/wife etc and shes like 👁️👁️ who hurt this man........... (Could also work for selkie Chil) What’s his tragic backstory…..

I think marcille also deserves to go silly and catch a carp between her teeth, giving it to chilchuck batting her eyelashes like teehee... I'm such a good assistant right... He needs them undamaged if he wants to sell them but he still makes use of her gift anyway... Puts it in a stew and shares it with her... Something we made together..… Marcille being able to taste human food with actual spices and actual heat and actual cooked meat... His home is the warmest place on the surface. His hugs are more comforting than even the water’s. AGH and how long hasn’t he eaten a real homecooked meal you’d bet 😭 Marcille notices he’s underweight and is like "he’s always fishing though??? Does he just need like, a lot??" and takes it upon herself to bring him more fish to feed him. "He NEEDS to blubber up. I know it." Do you think when his wife was still there he'd come home to the smell of cooking.... but now there's nothing......... He’s on his own, he sleeps in the boat… It just smell like fish all day. The stench gets to him and even the burn of alcohol in his nostrils is a kinder hell. NOW he comes back to the stench of roting flesh and he's like :))) ahh.... my gi rl firned 💖 /j

Selkie Marcille getting onto his boat out of nowhere and slapping the beer bottle out of his hand. It’d go hard if he’s so drunk once that he’s leaning over the railing with his bottle hanging down from his grip and the beer goes into the sea and she tastes it and is like. Now what the fuck is this. Ew. He doesn’t look so good maybe I should splash him with water. She could save him from drowning... Girl who puts him on a rock somewhere until he wakes up and hides in the water as soon as he comes to… Peekinh at him from the surface of the water because, oh dear we're shy now because it's face to face… Drawing parallels between swaying (drunk) and swaying (motion of boat on the sea). She sways his world…… Makes him feel dizzy in a nice, light airy way…… He crashes into his bed in his home and still feels the rocking of the waves under him, and he falls asleep thinking of her…

Go out to the sea in a storm because you can’t stand feeling useless. The sea is your livelihood, it's where you're good and useful. On land you never know what to do with your hands. Maybe he should just let the sea pull him under. let it sweep him away.  Marcille does exactly that, but it's not something that erases him. It's not something that swallows him whole. It's something that shows him a whole other world- The coral reefs, the schools of fish that exist below, the lush seaweed forests that Marcille treasures so much. It's all been there for him to see, theres so much beneath his feet. And all he had to do was let her take his hand. This world full of fish and creatures he's caught and gutted... that he gets to see in a different light…… The idea of him trusting her enough to let her lead him underwater... I think the time that Marcille leads him into the water should be on one beautiful evening, with the water shimmering, and the sun casting rays onto the waters surface- enough that it's still scary at first, enough that Chilchuck still struggles against the salty grasp of the waves, but when marcille takes him under he can see just how the light of the sun casts its spotlight on the seafloor- and how even in the shallows therein lies a thousand wonders, ones he's stepped right over before. I'm just obsessed with chilchuck experiencing a whole nother world in there. Give me childlike wonder. Give me a Marcille who wants to show her grump fucking fisherman boyfriend the cute fishies and the minnows, the pretty hermit crabs. Something about the sea looking different from beneath the waves... The parallels of him on the beach stepping over shells and urchins in the shallows with his boots and just crush them right over, not even noticing he did from force of habit and routine having dulled everything… Him working on the sea all the time but never really seeing it because he’s so absorbed in his own shit and he always just uses the harbor so there’s never real contact with it anyways. When the sea water laps at his forearms when he reels the net in but they feel like lashes of frost against his skin. She'd look really pretty with her hair flowy in the waves............ Marcille’s hair should get used for creepy compositions more… In the water she takes him under and her hair tangles and latch onto him against his skin. Her hair is long, underwater it could engulf him probably, he likes blonde hair he'd be happy with that… Not the lowkey suicidal ideation of letting the sea take him and how he’d be happy suffocating in her hair when doing a dive wow ok

I keep thinking about the Dredge AU… The video game yes yes. It’d be a mess but ohhh ohh the sea and its wonderful world but also its dark secrets, Marcille researching the depths and finding dark powers and idk the tragedy of a man at sea who can’t forget what he’s lost and the mythical gf he made that was never meant to be and it’ll destroy them both idk idk. Bc of Marcille helping him fish from below as a selkie, Senshi like YOU ARE OVERFISHING YOU ARE DESTROYING THE ECOSYSTEMMM @ them lmao You are feeding the whole town and making big bucks but you’re fishing so much that some fish are starting to get stale without being bought, the sea is bleeding and the leviathan is hungry

Maybe one time, one of them gets upset at the other and holds the seal fur hostage, its sooo mean but it also feels very them. When I think selkie I think of the movie Song of the Sea and in that movie the father of the protags loved a selkie, the mother, but she had to leave at one point for the sea because that’s her nature etc etc, but he didn’t want her to leave so he hid her skin which like. Ruined everything and hurt her. And ohhh the parallels… Leaving him… Just food for thought.

Selkie Chil & marine researcher Marcille

The reverse of that where Chil’s the selkie, Marcille’s fascination for him has the reverse angle, almost like admiration too. Crying she’d be like "who’s this mysterious guy, why’s he look kinda ethereal(selkie fairy blablabla)?" and investigates meanwhile he doesn’t want anyone to see him transforming and such so he’s like "leave me aloneeeeeee!!" Selkie chil? secretive man who just wants to chill gets grabbed by the most enthusiastic fairytale-obsessed girl out there. She WILL almost drown trying to say hi. C’mon mister mythical let’s have a storybook romance <3 Jumping in da water and he has to rescue her and immediately gains 100 grey hairs. She gets her storybook ‘saved by the merman’ moment but at what cost. "WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGG" screaming, she gets scolded very much but it all goes in one ear out the other tbh. Selkie Chilchuck is even better with his secretiveness... How do you get around the fact you’re a seal? Iunno I’ve never been a seal Obsessed with the implications of his family in this. Except if his wife and daughters were humans and so his work travels are instead selkie shenanigans going out at sea for months on ends, I imagine they’d be selkies too… Did they get separated? Die? Is Chilchuck’s cowl in this one Flertom’s fur? :(   Once more mentioning sea shanties Chilchuck btw, Roll the Old Chariot comes to mind… Ooough Song of the Sea from the movie that he sung to his daughters <33 I’m fine

With the researcher angle actually being pushed there are interesting plots and scenes you could think of obvi, but uh we kind of went off on the fisherman Chil Marcille selkie AU instead haha. It’d be cute if she ends up teaching him how to live on land in the end. Dresses him up like a funky lil guy. I went with tallman Chil when drawing it and selkie Marcille’s more elf-like, and for selkie Chil I’d imagine it’s the reverse where she’s tallman-like and he still looks like a halfling… Sea-related AUs are my weak spot <33

No matter how you turn it, Marcille is the instigator lol. Selkie Marcille: this little man… I want to know more about this human! Selkie Chilchuck = tries to avoid everything but this Marcille keeps chasing him! It’s her job to, Chilchuck minds his business!! He sees a sliver of something weird out at night? Not his job nope keep your nose out of that it’ll only bring you trouble. It’d have to really itch him at him for him to crack I think… Honestly he’d make a great lovecraftian horror protagonist lol. We love a girl with no chill and her nose in everyone’s business

Shout to to @dayundying, @cabinette, @soappox and @lucky-fydraws!! These people were there for the brainstorming and the writing of the scripture…

[sanyu-thewitch05]

I got this Yandere imagine that's based on The Heathers from the Heathers musical:

Honestly never told anyone about this before but this fandom does need more appreciation

So we got Darling who's meek and shy,but she's smart and overall a good student, though she can't say she hates the jocks,she would rather not associate with them. Until the main Jocks trio in the school took notice of her,specifically their leader,Hunter

Let's say Hunter is a dominant man,he just suddenly show up more in front of her after she helped him with a school project

Sure he thinks nerds are boring but Darling is an exception,like she's a introverted,unsociable girl but she takes no shit from others

Hunter thinks Darling is very cute and she needed a makeover~

After the makeover, Darling did like her new look,it got some guys to catcall her which is annoying but it wasn't that bad. She still didn't like the jocks much,she only hanged out with Hunter afterwards bcuz of the favour

However,Hunter started to get more touchy, putting his arm on her shoulder or her waist,she even heard the rumors of her being his girlfriend. She decided to avoid Hunter so as not to take it any further

Hunter didn't like it at all, why is she walking to another guy and talk to him when she should've gotten to him like the good girl she is?!!! She shouldn't talk to some stupid unimportant guys!!!

Hunter is rich and famous,his family owns a big company and he's the future CEO. As his future wife,she should get close to him instead of other guys

He couldn't bare the obvious intentional ignorance towards him so one day he just dragged her into a classroom and snapped at her

He said how she belongs to him and she shouldn't even think of leaving him,she won't escape even when they graduate and go to college, because he will attend as the same college as hers. Things got sexually heated there, I'll leave that part to you

Let's just say afterwards,Darling has to be the obedient girlfriend to Hunter. He even force her to sit on his laps right in the school cafeteria to show up his good little honey and no guys should lay hands on her cuz she's his

Sorry, this took so long to answer. I’m out of school for Labor Day weekend.

All characters in my works are 18+

TW: Noncon, stalking, dubcon, catcalling, sexual harassment

Oh God, not again. Here they come.

It was only the third month of school, and everything was going great so far. You were getting A's and even joined the local majorette team. That's when everything went downhill. For some reason, Heath and Henry were at the town's Halloween festival. The best friends of Hunter McClaire. The best football player in school. They were also the best quarterbacks in school. You were on the angel side of the team, and your white uniform glittered in the moonlight. Not only that, but the white boots helped add to your dance routine. You were squatting down, preparing to do a death drop, and then you saw Heath and Henry. Their smiles made you sick. You continued the routine as usual and quickly walked away once finished. You tried to avoid them, but they stopped you as you walked home.

"Hey, Angel! Where are you going?" Heath catcalled, following close behind you.

"Home," You hissed, walking faster.

"Oh, don't be like that. We enjoyed the performance. I wish you showed more of that ass around the school. I honestly didn't think you had any good qualities besides your brain," Henry commented, making you growl.

"Listen, jackass! Leave me alone before I rip your nutsacks out!" You yelled, finally facing them.

"Ok! Ok! Ok! We'll leave you, nerd girl," Heath says, stopping at the sidewalk to watch you walk away.

They focused on your butt and smirked.

"God, I wish I could tap that ass," Henry murmured, hiding his boner. 

It only got worse when you went to school after that. Hunter was there asking for your help on a history project. 

"Look, if this is something Heath and Henry told you, please don't tell anyone. I just want to stay out of the spotlight and graduate," You said, trying to walk away from Hunter.

"Uh, they haven't told me anything like that. Anyway, I came to ask for help on my 20th-century history project. I got assigned the topic of fashion, and Henry and Heath said you might be able to help," Hunter said, sitting next to you.

"Fine, I'll help you," You begrudgingly agreed, tying your hair up.

For two nights, the two of you worked on Hunter's project. When he turned it in, he got an A+ and even brought his grade in history class a couple of points. As a thank you, Hunter gave you a makeover. You thought you looked fine, but you'll accept the spa treatment and new clothes any day. Wearing the jeans that hugged your ass and the lace corset top to school earned you unwanted remarks from other students. But it wasn't that bad. 

You went about your school day and made friends with Hunter. Surprisingly, Hunter and you got along pretty well. You didn't like Hunter's friends. But you didn't hate them either. After a week, Hunter started to get more touchy. His hands roamed your back, his arm always around your shoulder. It even got to the point where rumors were swirling around that you were dating. You couldn't deal with it anymore, so you decided to avoid Hunter for a while, which is how you got into this current predicament.

"Hey," Hunter greets, sitting next to you at lunch. 

You ignore him and continue eating your food. 

"Why are you ignoring me? What did I do?" Hunter says, his arm around your waist. "Is it because you didn't like the panties I set you? They seemed like your style."

You didn't say anything, but Henry puts a hand on your thigh to make you pay attention to Hunter. His thigh moves towards your crotch, and you pack up your stuff. You get up, throw your tray away, and leave for your next class. You did the same routine of avoiding Hunter and his friends for the next two weeks. 

"Charles, are you ready for the next book club?" You ask your tall, freckle-faced, white, black-haired friend. 

"You bet! I'm so glad you joined! Are you sure you can handle it while being on the majorette team?" Charles asks, closing his locker. 

"I'll be fine. Besides, my practice starts at 6 pm. Book club should be over by then," You respond, smiling at Charles.

"Cool! I'll see you later!" Charles exclaims, hugging you.

You reciprocate the hug and wave goodbye to Charles. Unbeknownst to you, a furious Hunter is watching you.

"Damn, dude! You're practically breaking the wall," Henry laughs, looking at his friend.

"Why is she even talking to him?! Sure, she's a nerd, but she's not fucking boring like the rest of them! Not only that, but it's Charles! The dude who can't even throw a dodgeball straight! Why talk to him of all people!" Hunter rants, punching the wall and glaring at you.

"You need to do something, Hunter. Soon enough, she'll be spending all her time with him and none with you," Heath comments, looking at your smile.

"You're right. I'll show her I'm the right choice. She'll have no choice but to see it," Hunter replies, secretly following after you.

You walk by an empty classroom and get pushed inside. You fall to the floor and hear the door lock.

"Don't even try to scream for help. Heath and Henry gave me the keys and are currently erasing the security footage," Hunter says, twirling the keys around his index fingers.

"Hunter, what the hell?" You yell, rubbing your butt and standing up.

Hunter picks you up and places you on top of a desk. He strokes your cheek and puts a strand of hair behind your ear. Hunter suddenly roughly kisses you and holds your body still. You try to get away, but Hunter is too strong. He grabs your hair and forces you to bend over onto the desk.

"Hunter, what are you doing?" You scream, squirming in his hold.

"You need to understand. You're mine!" Hunter growls, fiercely spanking your ass. "Always mine! You! Belong! To! Me"

"Oh! Ouch! Aw!" You groan between each spanking. 

Hunter suddenly flips you over and lets go of your hair. 

"Strip. Now," Hunter commands, pulling out his dick.

"I-"

"NOW!"

You whimper and slowly strip your clothes. 

"Now then, you'll strip a piece of clothing for every sentence I say. You're lucky I'm taking it easy on you and speaking slowly. Got that?"

You nod your head, but this only irritates Hunter more.

"I need verbal confirmation," Hunter barks, grabbing a ruler and slamming it on the teacher's desk.

"Yes, Hunter!" You squeal, trying not to collapse to the floor.

"Good."

Hunter pulls up a chair and sits in while stroking his cock.

"Now, let's begin. You are my girlfriend, and you belong to me.”

You take off your shirt.

"Don't even think of leaving me because we'll always be together! Even during college when we go to the best Ivy League school! And don't even try to apply to some small liberal arts school because we both know we can do better!"

You quickly take off your bra and shorts.

"I'm rich. I'll inherit my father's company and become CEO. I'll take care of you as my future wife," Hunter finishes, watching you strip your panties, socks, and shoes. "Come closer. I need to teach you how to serve me."

You walk to him, and he pushes you down to his crotch.

"You know what to do," Hunter says, rubbing your head softly.

You put his cock into your mouth, intimately licking the body part. Hunter shivers, and soon, you're both high on pleasure. 

"Oh, yes~ Suck it more! Earn hubby's cum!" Hunter moans, pushing your head up and down on his dick.

You kiss the base of his cock, and he spills his seed all over you. Some of it ends up on your face, and most of it ends up in your mouth. You stand up and try to leave, but Hunter grabs your hand.

"I thought you only wanted me to suck you off?" You question forcibly straddling Hunter.

"If I only wanted a blow job, I would only want your shirt off. I want more," Hunter says, pulling his pants down. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

Hunter kisses your cheek and puts a condom on. You hold onto him for support. He sticks his dick into you and moans, throwing his head back.

"Oh, baby!" Hunter moans, making a slow but steady thrust pattern.

Your breath hitches as pleasure flows through your body. Hunter kisses your lips, and you start to melt into each other.

"Faster!" You moan, barely holding onto Hunter.

Hunter immediately follows your plea and starts thrusting faster. You both moan like crazy and eventually, you yell that your climax is coming.

"I'm cumming too!" Hunter yells, rapidly thrusting into you a couple more times. "Hah!"

Hunter cums into you, and you shiver. You relax onto Hunter's chest and let him rub your back.

"So, can I still go to book club?" You ask, looking into Hunter's green eyes.

"Nope. You're staying with me for a while," Hunter replies, smacking your ass in response to your question.

~~~~~~~~

"Yo! Dude, how's the relationship with your darling?" Henry asks, high-fiving Hunter as he sits next to him during lunch. 

"Pretty good. I taught her a lesson, and now we're the perfect couple," Hunter replies, sitting you on his lap. "Charles won't even go near her."

"Hunter, please," You say, feeling his boner.

"Oh, sorry, darling. You're going have to deal with this dick for a long time," Hunter replies, kissing your cheeks. "Keep complaining, and I'll have to make sure you'll know to appreciate it."

You are stuck with him. Forever, and ever, until the day you die.  

[candywife333]

Wife Is Life

PART 3 of Fish-wife or No wife

Summary: Did Jungkook have a wife? The rumor mill had been churning for years, divided on this one topic. He was a successful worldwide pop star who was always seen with a different lady on his arm, as he flitted from country to country enjoying his prolific career. The reason for the lingering suspicion was a cryptic social media post showing a picture of 2 kids who shared the same exact eyes and smile as him. So in fact, if he truly did have a wife, who was she? And why had the public never seen her? Perhaps she didn't wish to be seen.

Description : famous pop-star/idol jungkook x chubby y/n , might be two-shot or trilogy

Disclaimer: The character of Jungkook shown in this fanfic does not accurately represent Jungkook's true personality or actions. Please treat this story as fiction.

Sorry for the little to no proofreading, have a lot more works lined up to post

Will have more drabbles of this couple lined up though this is the last official part.

It was 7 PM when I was startled awake by loud snoring. Damn, the man snored like a hibernating bear. I can't believe I let him touch my body. I should not have done that. Mentally reprimanding myself for poor decision making (though I truly did have little decision in the matter), I pried myself from his hold and went to take a quick shower. After a refreshing shower consisting of washing out all the cum he had pumped into me, I walked to the kitchen to see Mrs. Jeon reading a book on the couch.

"Hello auntie, how is your book so far?", I timidly asked. She smiled real wide as she saw me, pulling my hand to sit next to her, "Going well dear. Have been wanting to read it for ages but never got around to it till now". I nodded with a small smile on my face. "Auntie, I will be going out to briefly check up on the house in this neighborhood. It is just a quick 5 minute walk. Can you just take care of the kids in case they get up in between"?

Mrs. Jeon quirked her eyebrow slightly up, quietly whispering," Do you not trust them with Jungkook?" I smiled at her in a perfunctory manner, feeling a little soulless, "I honestly am not sure. He seems to only be interested in them for the time being. I don't think I can count on him to be a true father since he has not shown up for either of them consistently. I will be getting everything ready to shift into the linden house tomorrow morning". I sighed, feeling weary all of a sudden staring into Mrs. Jeon's eyes with resignation and acceptance, "I knew this marriage was a farce from the very beginning, so I never expected anything from him. I just hoped that he would visit the kids regularly. That was honestly it. You see Mrs. Jeon, ours is not a typical marriage. We just fulfilled each of our needs at the time. He found me, to take care of Iro. And I took his help to gain financial stability and have children that I could call my own".

She pensively stared back at me, with a sadness reflected in her eyes, face frowning slightly. I smiled in a reassuring manner and pivoted to grab my phone and wallet, walking out of the house to briefly check up on how ready it was. After seeing the house in perfect condition since my brief visit last month, I did some cursory cleaning so the kids and I wouldn't suffer allergies. It was a two story house with 5 massive bedrooms, a gym room, cute well equipped kitchen, and beautiful views of trees through all the windows. Imagine a house that looked like a winter wonderland, waiting for Christmas to blanket it; enveloped by berry, maple, and fir trees.

Walking back into the Jeon's house, Mr. Jeon opened the door for me with a soft smile. And to my distinct surprise, I saw Jungkook feeding or shall I say, attempting to feed Mari and Iro some pumpkin pudding that Mrs. Jeon had made. I walked in silently, and patted him on the shoulder , "Thanks for helping feed them. Both of them sleep early, so it is truly perfect that you are feeding them right now". He stared at me as if he were deciphering the contents of my soul, even as Mari jabbed her tiny finger (honestly resembling a claw at this point) into his sturdy chest. "Of course Y/N, it really is no big deal". I ate a light dinner , a bowl of lamb and potato stew with udon noodles.

Grabbing the kids from my Jungkook, I walked back to the bedroom. The kids easily fell asleep as they usually tend to once they are fed. Brushing and getting ready for bed in some shorts and a tank top, I slipped beneath the covers ready to doze off. Before I knew it , I had drifted off to sleep.

I woke up to Jungkook's heavily muscled arm wrapped around my waist, and his legs trapped between mine. His head was laid up on my left breast and I could feel his breathing on my nipple. Arousal was starting to pool in my underwear and my left nipple stiffened with the warm air of his breath flooding it. To make matters worse, his groin was rubbing against my wet core. I gasped as the small pleasure started to build in my core.

I had to get out of his grasp no matter what. I carefully detached myself from him. He had the notion that he could seamlessly slip into my life when our arrangement never included physical love. Even if he became a proper dad to the kids, I was not letting him fuck with me. The man showed how irresponsible and inconsistent he was. Actions speak louder than words. I quickly wrapped my hair into a bun, brushed, splashed my face with water, and changed into a blue cotton sundress.

I hadn't unpacked much at all, so I shoved whatever was out back into the two suitcases I had brought. Grabbing Mari as she slept, I gently woke up Iro and cleaned his face. Thank god Iro was a quiet child. We slipped out the bedroom with the suitcases and saw Mr. and Mrs. Jeon making breakfast.

I grinned, "Good morning auntie and uncle, just going to shift over to the linden house. I will feed the kids breakfast and we will go over there. You guys should come over for lunch, I will have a whole gourmet selection ready for you ". They laughed at my demand. After getting Iro to eat something and shoveling down some oatmeal myself, I packed some food for Mari and drove over to the linden house with the luggage.

Mari got up in between and I bathed both the kids as soon as we walked in. I let out a huge breath in relief, finally I would have my own breathing space. Mr. and Mrs. Jeon were lovely, but I did not want to constantly be around Jungkook. He had taken yesterday's advances, as a way to weasel into my bed. I started working on making shrimp stew, rice, fried omelettes, tonkatsu and some curry.

I was used to cooking since I was 16. It was a therapeutic activity for me. Finishing in a record time of 2.5 hrs, I took a quick shower myself and called Mrs. Jeon over. I didn't know that a hectic hodgepodge of erratic events were happening in the Jeon house in between.

Mrs. Jeon wacked Jungkook with a broom handle, "Get UP YOU LAZY BOY!!!!! GET UP!!! GET UP!!! Go get yourself cleaned up and read for lunch. You have a wife and kids to get back". She sneered , menacingly at him as slowly got up in a confused state, doe eyes wide open, puzzled by what his mother meant. "What do you mean mom? Aren't Y/N and the kids at home. Where would they have gone?"

Mrs. Jeon shook her head in disappointment, a frown on her face, lips pinched in irritation, "Your Y/N is a very independent, reliable girl. She bought the linden house before coming here and she moved into it with the kids this morning itself. She invited your father and I over for lunch. Clearly she wants to keep family bonds, but you are a miserable father and husband. If you didn't want to be a good husband, you could've at least been a good father. But no, you chose to fail on both counts". Ceaselessly shaking her head, she walked away before yelling, "YOU BETTER GET YOUR RANK ASS SHOWERED AND READY FOR LUNCH. SHE DIDN'T INVITE YOU FYI, BUT YOU ARE GOING ANYWAY, WE ARE NOT MAKING LUNCH AT HOME"!

With those biting remarks, Mrs. Jeon left Jungkook alone with his dismal thoughts. His wife had clearly not accepted him back, even as a father to the kids. He scoffed , of course she wouldn't. He had been such a horrible dad, not seeing his kids as they were growing up. Even when he was told that Mari was born by her sister Wei, he wasn't bothered at the time. He almost wanted to sit there crying the rest of the day, remembering her cute toothless little chubby face.

He showered rapidly, running to the door as his parents planned on walking over with a basket of red bean filled pastries. Y/N opened the door in a light pastel yellow dress littered with a pattern of violets, and simple diamond studs. She was classic, a beauty , and she was the moment. Her curled hair cascaded down her backless sundress. Jungkook swore his mother slightly gasped when she first saw Y/N. As soon as Y/N saw Jungkook, her beaming smile faded into an indifferent nod. He hated that he had made her that way.

She pushed his parents toward the massive oak table with a beautiful view of the garden. The entire house was filled with paintings of forests and gardens, with a small collection of creepers winding around the staircase leading up stairs. The views were also ridiculously impressive, with trees looking close to a hundred years old shading the entire house, yet still allowing sunlight in. Jungkook could tell this property was super expensive, more so than the one he had bought just from the interiors and the 3 acre garden encompassing the entire circumference of the house.

Y/N had made bank, and she might not need him anymore. He started perspiring , beads of sweat lining his forehead as he frantically thought of how easy it would be for her to delete him from her life. She was emotionally stable, mentally strong, had his parents on her side, and financially rock solid. She could easily marry a more reliable, doting husband and leave him out of the picture.

Not able to control his panic, Jungkook was barely able to eat a spoon of the stew before he excused himself with a trembling voice, "I need to use the bathroom, one minute". He booked it to the bathroom, not even able to take his eyes from the ostentatiously furnished restroom complete with a settee and potpourri. Since when were bathrooms so big that they contained sofas and potpourri?!!

Y/N was confused at his abrupt exit from the dining table. It had been five minutes since Jungkook had stumbled away in a hurry. Y/N decided she would check on him in case he needed anything. "Give me one minute auntie and uncle, let me just check on Jungkook". They nodded , consumed in eating their food and feeding the kids. Y/N walked over to the bathroom and rapped on the door, "You ok there Jungkook? Need any help finding toiletries"?

Before she could take in another breath, the door opened with a frantic Jungkook who was shirtless, pants loose. An extremely defined arm grabbed her around her waist and whisked her inside the bathroom before she could even yell. Hitting on his tan glistening chest, Y/N sharply demanded "What the hell are you doing? Let me go. What is your damn problem? Did nobody teach you manners growing up?"

Jungkook grimaced, seating Y/N on his lap, her dress shoved up all the way to her waist, chest heaving, hair in disarray, " No Y/N nobody did. That is why I cannot resist you and am driven to utter distraction by you. Ever since I saw you at the door with Mari in your arms, I have been spellbound by you. You are an enchanting, gorgeous woman and I should've seen that earlier. I used to hate on you and shame you for your body to my Hyungs. But the minute I felt you in my arms, and saw you with my babies, I wanted to kill myself for my senseless and false words".

Even as I continued beating on his chest to release me, angered by him body shaming me in the past, he fixed me to his lap, restraining my arms making me grind on his lap, his hips guiding me into a blinding rhythm. I bit out with sheer venom, "Then why don't you divorce me and marry a model instead? I don't need your money anymore, and we can share custody of the kids. If seeing my body disgusts you, there is no point continuing this". Hearing those words broke Jungkook, how could he leave this beautiful caring woman alone for some vapid shallow model? Was she so stupid that she couldn't understand how much she meant to him?

Clearly he had never verbalized enough how much she drove him nuts. When Jungkook was in a depression after breaking up with the Spanish model and having Iro at his doorstep, Y/N had swooped in to the save day. Seeing her treat Iro as if he were her own son for two years had made him love Y/n so much. He had just never wanted to get close to her and get hurt. He knew in his soul that if anyone would break him, it would be Y/N. When he married Y/N, he never even touched a woman after that. He would have escorts who he would take to galas and work parties, the tabloids going nuts at his hired companions.

Finally having Y/N in his arms, he couldn't hold back anymore. Tears streaming down his face, he undid Y/N's dress zipper throwing it over her head. Y/N couldn't even fight back against his skilled quick movements. Making too much noise would alert his parents and her kids. He desperately shoved his face wet with tears between her breasts. His calloused hands squeezed the perfect globes of her butt, getting her to slowly grind on his cock.

Y/N couldn't hold back as the sensations overtook her. She moaned quietly as she could feel Jungkook kneading at her waist as his tongue traced her collarbones, littering tiny bits all over them. Y/N attempted refusing, putting hands on his shoulders to push him away, "No Jungkook we can't do this. I don't know how many women you have been with". Jungkook warbled back , "No Y/N, you are the only one since I have married you. I tried avoiding you, but seeing the kids and you have made that impossible. I was a horrible father and husband but I will make it up to you and the kids no matter what".

Not able to control himself, Jungkook came in his pants with Y/N heavily panting on top of his lap ,completely naked. He stared at his wife, amazed at her beauty. He would never leave her or the kids again. Y/N retorted back with a quirk of her lips, eyes shining with promise and mischief, "So is that it? That was all you had for me after so many years"?

Jungkook growled back , black eyes shining into hers, mouth smirking, grabbing her hair in his hand to bring her face closer to his, "Of course not my darling", kissing her in the mouth thrusting his tongue into hers, "This is just the beginning".

[sassylegshayne]

marry me, idiot. chapter two

SURPRISE UPDATE!! I wasn't planning on posting chapter two yet but I'm just so excited that you guys are enjoying this piece so much!! I'm honestly having so much fun writing it!! chapter two is 3.5K words! lmk what y'all think!! xx mwah

series masterlist

"what's your ring size"

The text from Erin, the executive assistant, lit up your screen just past midnight.

You quickly responded, noting that it may have been a bit urgent if she texted you about it. You made sure to question her, your curiosity got the best of you.

"I have to buy you a ring before tomorrow Imfao, need a ring for the shoot"

The what? Spencer had failed to mention exactly what changed in his schedule, prompting you to quickly check your own.

"Spencer," You chastised him as you shut off the television, the episode of Friends almost over, causing a groan in frustration from him. "You didn't tell me we have a fucking shoot tomorrow!"

You huffed, your brows furrowed. Spencer couldn't hide the turn of his lips, his smile cracking through.

"Calm down, honey, it'll be fine." He put emphasis on the pet name, his voice just a bit lower than normal. Your eyes widened, surprised at every part of it, even more so as he placed a hand on your bare thigh.

"You okay?" He quipped, reaching across your lap for the remote, turning the show back on. Spencer gave your thigh a soft squeeze, enjoying this intimacy with you and the confusion that was written on your face.

"Did you lose your mind, Spence?" You felt like omething was short circuiting or misfiring in your mind because this isn't your Spencer. Your Spencer is nervous, fumbles with his words, making the most out of pocket comments in any situation, he doesn't do wel| with physical affection.

This Spencer was touching you, on purpose. He seemed so calm, do relaxed that it was managing to put you on edge.

"What? What're you talking about, dude?" Spence furrowed his brow, shaking his head lightly. "You're gonna be my wife in like a year, we can't start fighting the day we get engaged, it's a terrible look."

"The shoot tomorrow is gonna be chill, I was texting lan about it. Everyone at work is gonna know that it's fake so we'll be okay. He said that we're gonna stick to poses he seemed 'subtly romantic, whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean." Spencer was nonchalant, waving his hands around a bit as he spoke.

You nodded slowly, brows furrowed.

"Okay, yeah, that's fine. But what does that mean? Are they gonna make us be all cute and cuddly?" You sighed, nerves evident.

"Aren't we already?"

You would find out the following morning after the two of you arrived early to the building, clocks just shy of 7AM.

You rubbed your eyes, yawning as you entered wardrobe together, quickly being pulled in opposite directions to get ready. Spencer found his mind wandering to you as he went through the motions, curious about how it looked for you, what your time was entailing. You two finally met again at the front of the office, where you're greeted with a small group. Kiana, Spencer, and Brennan chatting as they awaited you.

You couldn't help but take in the simple outfit Spencer wore, it suited him well. He had a short sleeve, olive green button-up on, paired with dark khakis. It fit him so well that you knew Ki had picked it.

Spencer was glad to be ushered out of the building, finding himself speechless as soon as his eyes landed on you. You had on a tea length, light green dress. It had soft layers, accenting everything about you so beautifully; swaying with you as you walk.

Kianna had been saving the dress to gift to you, but as soon as she read the email, disregarding whether or not it was a joke, her heart called for it. She had the vision in her mind in an instant.

She's always known about the feelings you and Spencer had for each other, but couldn't bring herself to spill your guys' secrets. So she adapted early on, deciding to constantly poke at the two of you, dubbing you two work spouses.

Somewhere in the years since it started, as your feelings grew for each other, and Kiana heard everything from both of you, all she wanted was for the two of you to get together. She was so beyond excited with the stupid situation you'd put yourselves in.

Brennan drove the three of you out, both Spencer and you surprised to find that this was going to be a location shoot.

Kiana explained the ideas to you, talking about the field she had found that she thought was adorable. She went over some of the photo ideas, showing the two of you some references. She grinned as she spoke, evidently excited.

"Kiana, please take a deep breath, you're making me anxious." You laughed a bit, brows furrowed as she rolled her eyes. "I'm just excited, it's gonna be so cute and I'm excited to see y'all all cuddled up together."

She cackled a bit, turning around to grin at the two of you as Brennan tried to stifle his laughter.

With all the effort Kiana had already put into this, you could only imagine the delight she's taking in this.

Once you arrived, you stretched, yawning as Spencer approached you, tangling his fingers with yours, giving your hand a gentle squeeze. You smiled brightly up at him, turning after a camera shutter sounds off. You find Kiana behind the lens.

On instinct you raise your free middle finger at her, used to this treatment already. Spencer copied you, his mind on the exact same page as yours.

Another shutter as Brennan and her laugh, Kiana giving a thumbs up as you and a Spencer hold in laughter.

"You guys nailed it, that's the perfect vibe for the shoot. Go get lost in the field while we set shit up." She waves you off, popping the trunk of Brennan's car.

Spencer hums the theme for Animal Crossing as you wander, laughing softly.

"This is chill, right? Like, Ki didn't pick out terrible stuff for us to do like, pose wise." Spencer shrugged as the two of you came to a stop. You stood, squinting as you faced him, the sun shining brightly now.

"I'm cool with everything, but can we agree to say something if we're not cool with it?" You held up your hand, your pinky finger extended to him.

Spencer scoffed, linking his finger with yours and shaking.

"Hell yeah, dude," He laughed as he kept shaking your intertwined hands. "Consent is key."

You doubled over in laughter, clutching your stomach as you shook your head. Spence rested his hand on your shoulder after a few moments, trying to calm you down.

"You really are The Chosen, Shayne was so spot on." Spencer rolled his eyes, pulling you into a hug. You rested your head on his chest, your arms wrapped around his waist.

You smiled as you finally caught sight of Kiana and Brennan positioned in front of you two. They were far enough away to be out of earshot, done purposefully by Kiana's call, but close enough for Brennan to work his magic.

Everyone of you had a very busy day ahead, so this would be a quiet time for each of you to enjoy.

You lifted your head, pulling Spencer's attention as he followed your gaze, laughing softly.

"You think they've been there a while, babe?" He asked, his tone shifting in the same way it did yesterday. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, squeezing you softly as you smiled at the camera.

You shifted a bit, chewing your lip as you tried to pretend that his tone and names didn't have an effect on you.

"They definitely have, I think Ki's gonna cry soon." You stated, turning to smile at Spencer, your heart melting as your eyes met. You played the moment up as he chuckled, knowing you were right, you cupped his cheek softly. Spencer followed your lead, resting one hand on your waist as his other rested atop your hand on his face.

"Oh shit," Spencer jumped a bit, Kiana's gasp heard as loud as could be as you two separate. He dug in his pocket for a second before grinning. "You need this."

He held his hand out, presenting your ring to you. It had completely slipped your mind, the conversation with Erin felt like it happened days ago.

It was a simple ring, but it was perfect. The silver band held a single faux diamond.

"Erin said it's stainless steel and cubic zirconia, you can wear it as much or as little as you want to, I think." Spencer spoke as you laughed, holding up your right hand, giving him the chance to slip on the ring for the first time.

The both of you could feel an intimacy in this moment, a shift in the air.

"Wrong hand!! Wrong hand, no!" Screams pulled your attention from the moment as Ki and Brennan frantically yell at you two, waving their hands around wildly. You two laugh as you lift up your left hand now. The tension you both felt in the moment had dissipated quickly, Spencer making no show of putting it on now.

You fiddle with it for a second before flicking your ring finger to the pair that had interrupted your bubble. Spencer laughs as the camera shutters again.

You liked to imagine that everytime your heart fluttered was when Brennan shot, because you hadn't noticed the sound again until now, so lost in your time with your best friend. He breaks you from your thoughts as Spencer grabs your waist, bracing your back with his other arm as he spins you away from the camera. He dips you as your mixed laughters fill the air around you once again.

The two of you spend a bit longer together, Kiana yelling instructions for how to pose before calling you in closer. The closer shots were very full of natural smiles and laughter, as your small group continued to crack each other up.

You soon wrapped, finally checking your phone, finding it just past ten in the morning. Your stomach growled as you all piled into the car again, agreeing to hit a drive thru.

"I'm honestly really upset with the two of you." Brennan spoke solemnly as Spencer and you slummed into the backseat, out of his eyesight in the rearview.

"I'm gonna be editing all day because there were too many good shots. I'm gonna have to stare at you two all day long."

You arrived back to the office, Erin's schedule, the one she rushed to add to your calendars this morning as you both changed, directed you towards the Pit stage.

Kiana was quick to push you two back to wardrobe, claiming that you couldn't wear your same outfits, it would out everything.

You slipped your jeans back on, and opted for a black pizza place shirt you kept at your desk. You greeted Spencer back at the stage, finding him in the same pants, now with his navy blue shirt from this morning.

Two identical yellow stools sat centerstage, a table placed in front of it. The lighting seemed more dim than usual, and maybe a more warm toned, too.

Eventually the pair of you were situated at the table, being told over and over again to scoot closer as they check the framing for the cameras.

"Okay!" Kiana clapped loudly as Spencer adjusted himself on the stool, looking to you with furrowed brows. You two were used to being close and touching, but it felt weird on camera.

You both decided to keep the physical affection to a bare minimum on screen, not wanting the internet to run too far with their ideas. It didn't mean the two of you were great at remembering that, but for the most part, this was the closest you two had been durning filming.

The weight setting in as you realize this would also be the first video with just you two, and it was a big joke.

You giggled a bit, earning a glare from Ki that silences you quickly.

"We're gonna do our announcement video. wanted to wait until you guys were more comfortable with faking a relationship, but we need this in case it leaks or anyone posts anything about it." She grinned, nodding. The both of you nodded along, Spencer rubbing his palms on his pants nervously.

He felt like he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs until his voice gave out. There wasn't a project Smosh had presented to a Spence that scared him, but he was a bundle of nervousness and terror right now. He was so scared by how natural all of this came to the both of you, granted, it had only been the one photoshoot. Still, the ring on your finger that you continued to fidget with weighed so heavily on his heart; he wanted so badly for it to be real.

"Spence? You good?" You ask, smiling softly as you glance at him, taking his right hand in your left, squeezing it gently. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he felt the cold metal of the ring press into his skin.

"Yeah, let's do this shit." He nodded, squinting his eyes as he smouldered at the camera, causing you to chuckle.

"Okay, let's do an intro, just introduce yourself and your roles, then you guys can take any explaining you'd like to do from there." Kiana grinned, giving you guys two thumbs up as she stood offstage.

You tooka deep breath, giving Spencera small hug before settling back in place, smiling brightly.

"Hey guys," You grin, waving at the camera.

"The editors are taking over the channel, Shayne and Courtney are no more." Spencer grinned, laughing softly. You rolled your eyes at him as Shayne's laugh is heard off camera.

"If you don't know who we are by now, this is Spencer." you gesture to the man beside you as he waves at the camera. "He's an editor here, and my best friend."

"Thank you, thank you. My college here with me today is Y/N." He began, grinning softly as he watched you pose, resting your head on your hands. "She's also an editor here, she's my best friend, and she's my fiance.'

He swiveled back to the camera, grinning brightly as you squealed, holding your left hand out proudly to the fans. A bright blush was apparent across your cheeks and Spencer's.

"So yeah, that's what this whole video is about today, which is probably a big shock to you guys, so we'd like to explain a little bit." You smiled brightly, grabbing Spencer's hand from his thigh to intertwine your fingers.

"Ki, how long have we been together? Cut this part, also, just, yanno.." Spencer trailed, waving his other hand around as he squinted, looking for Kiana.

"I'd say no less than two or three years." She shrugged, a few people mumbling in agreement.

"Four?" You shrugged, as Spencer mirrored your movement squeezing your hand.

"Cool, all good now, carry on." He laughed, as you shook your head, smiling at him as he began to get back on track.

"We've actually been dating for a little over four years now" He chuckled, chewing his lip glanced over at you. "We kinda just kept it to ourselves for a while, unintentionally. Like, we already posted about each other and cuddled and did super couple-ly shit, so the title change wasn't a big deal."

You couldn't stop yourself from staring at Spencer as he spoke, sounding so sincere and genuine that it tugged at your heart strings.

"We did also talk about keeping it from you guys, which wasn't easy, but we liked having the privacy of our relationship; it was fun to think that no one but us knew about us." You turned a bit, bumping your knees with his as Spencer stared down at his lap, grinning. This felt unreal. He couldn't believe this was something you two were in for together.

"We didn't intentionally keep it from everyone at Smosh, though!" You were quick to defend yourselves, eyes wide.

"That was an accident, but they found out when we moved in together, like, two years ago, so it's all cool now!" You grinned, winking at you gave the camera a thumbs up, Spence unable to contain his laughter beside you.

"It was just because we weren't quite prepared for how everyone on the internet would react, more so me than Spencer." You chuckled as he raised his brows, shrugging.

"Now I'm excited as fuck!" You grinned, bouncing in your seat a bit as Spencer laughed again.

He huffed, rolling his eyes as he pouted.

"C'mon, we're gonna have to edit that." He spoke low, causing you to fall into a fit of laughter, which spurred Spencer into a fit of his own. You two continued laughing for a bit, wiping tears when you calmed down, mindlessly creating more work for yourselves, again.

"We figured since we were gonna tell you guys about it, or since the internet figures everything out, why not make it more interesting? Plenty of people around Smosh have gotten married, sure." He scoffed, waving his hand as he spoke, feigning seriousness. You couldn't contain your giggles as Spencer spoke, nodding along with everything he said.

"Not once in those weddings were both of the parties Smosh employees, let alone two that were shipped online already!" He exclaimed, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, tugging you into his side for a warm hug.

You wrapped your arms around his waist as you grinned at the camera, resting your head on his shoulder.

"What all of that means is that this wedding is a pretty big deal for everyone here at Smosh. Especially with so many of our close friends being our coworkers." You spoke, gesturing to the people behind the cameras. A small cheer rang out from a few people in the crew, causing the both of you to smile.

"Soon, we will be uploading wedding themed Smosh videos!" You squealed, jumping a bit as you squeezed Spencer before you sat back onto your stool.

"We're not gonna do like, wedding videos, but themed ones, kinda like how the Smosh Games series worked. That means you're gonna get to see our usual content, just with a wedding twist. We have a Wedding Party Try Not to Laugh planned, right, Ki?" Spencer grinned, feeling the excitement bubbling in his chest the more he spoke.

Kiana called out an excited 'yes', her thumbs up again as some cheers erupted from the crew. Spoiling an upcoming video was not a concern for her at the moment as she watched her two best friends fall more in love with each other.

Ki was thankful that the lights were still bright enough to keep her from your sights as she stood, teary-eyed, her hands clutched at her chest.

"I think we have some video games, maybe a couple of our other original series too!" You grinned, nodding as you looked to Spencer, finding him already looking at you.

You two were pulled away as Kiana called for an outro. You were quick to start the end card part, glad to have an excuse to stop yourself from staring into Spencer's blue eyes.

The two of you quickly took off your mics before heading in opposite directions for lunch. You brought up the idea this morning on your way in together.

You were worried that Spencer would get tired of seeing you so much, especially with everything happening this quickly.

He was quick to insist that your assumption was false, claiming he'd spend forever with you, winking. Spencer was allowed to make these jokes now, you two were literally, well, more technically engaged. Still counts.

It was almost ironic when you enter your office to find Spencer eating at his desk.

You had initially headed in the opposite direction to find Patrick, needing to talk to him about a scene in a new skit.

You couldn't seem to figure out how exactly he wanted to timeline to run in the video, so it was fairly important.

After no luck with your search for the writer, you headed back towards your office, settling on ordering delivery.

You sat in your chair beside him, laughing softly.

"I thought you didn't wanna spend time with me on your lunch break." He chuckled as he wiped his mouth, setting down a container in front of you.

Spencer knew you well enough to order your food for you, expecting to find you seated beside him eventually. You like to make lunch plans with others early, you didn't often eat by yourself. You'd turn up at your desk after not making plans. He cared about you so much, fuck.

You couldn't help the blush the appeared on your cheeks every single time that Spencer did this, no matter how often it was.

He'd come in after you most mornings, greeting you with a kiss on the forehead as he places a coffee on your desk before sitting at his own. He'd check the time before you did, mindlessly ordering lunch for the two of you as you got lost in your work. You had a habit of accidentally working your way through your break, unless Spencer set a box in front of you, unaccepting of any money you tried to give him.

It was the little things that made you fall in love with you best friend. Love wasn't a word you used to describe your feelings to Kiana, scared you'd have to watch her explode, but you knew you were in love with Spencer.

You love him, romantically, and he loves you, platonically. That's fine.

"Spencer, I love spending time with you," You huffed, pouting softly as you popped open the box, finding your go-to order inside.

You hold your left hand up between the two of you. "I'm literally, technically about to spend forever with you, dude."

He laughed, flicking you off as he placed his headphones on, choosing to squeeze in some editing on his lunch break in-between your shoots.

In reality, Spencer didn't think he could spend his break talking to you like everything was normal. He still wanted to scream, maybe until he passed out now.

You scrolled on your phone, occasionally nudging the man beside you to show him something, Spencer huffing a breath of air out of his nose each time.

When you stood, Spencer was quick to pull off his headphones, rubbing his eyes a bit.

"Call time, big boy." You chuckled, reaching your hand down to rub his shoulder softly before you made your way towards the Pit set, again.

Spencer followed behind you, brows furrowed when his eyes landed on a certain someone standing on the stage. He subconsciously knew you had stopped to stare in confusion too.

[innytoes]

"My wife can stab me a little bit I don't care."

okay i need this but i don't know who from...... 😩

oh maybe some jubobby?!

Alfred The Cat verse. Set after the Haunted House Fic.

"You know, it's weird that someone who sees ghosts hates Halloween this much," Leo said, poking his head out of a kitchen cabinet next to the one she was rummaging through. She'd been cursing to herself about Reggie's over-abundance of autumnal mugs, trying to find one that wasn't shaped like a pumpkin or a ghost or what have you.

"Gah!" she exclaimed, nearly dropping Pumpkin Mug Number Four. At least the ghost had the decency to look kind of sheepish. "I get enough jump scares in my life, thank you."

Ever since Sunset Curve made it big and bought the creepy haunted murder-house they'd been renting, things had changed a little. Julie had moved in, officially.

Sunset Curve won a Grammy, on a song that Luke and Julie wrote together. Bobby proposed. They had the wedding in the garden, giving Tía an explanation about wanting to put down roots and make memories in their forever home, because 'our ghost friend is tied to the place he died and else he can't come' wouldn't fly.

They'd done some renovating, making sure to leave Leo's unmarked grave undisturbed. He'd been very adamant he was fine with them just pouring a slab of concrete over his remains to install a catio for Alfred. There was nobody to visit his grave anyway. That was why he'd been such easy pickings for the serial killer who used to live here.

Gertrude, the ghost of the woman who owned the house in the fifties, had passed on to the Other Side after passing on her famous scones recipe to her favourite 'adopted grandson', Reggie.

Which led to today.

With the renovations done, apparently her boys had decided this was the year they were going to win Best Halloween House In The Neighbourhood. Which wasn't even a real thing. There was no contest. There was no prize. But Reggie had insisted it was a real thing, and it was measured in how spooky your decorations were, how awesome your candy, and how happy you made the kids.

Obviously Julie didn't have the heart to argue with 'don't you want to make the kids happy, Julie?' Not to mention the puppy eyes of four musicians and a ghost.

So she said yes to the giant skeleton, and yes to the millions of decorative gourds, and yes to the fog machine and the 'spooky lights' and the creepy animatronic witch. She agreed to getting The Best Full Sized Candy Bars Ever for handing out, and hiding them from Luke. She even indulged the boys in their horror movie marathons, and Bobby stoically did not wince when she grabbed his arm so hard he had bruises the next day.

It was just that the last horror movie stuck with her. Especially today, what with it being a very stereotypical Dark and Stormy Night. Especially, especially because the guys had left the following morning for a series of concerts in New York, leaving her alone in a big, empty house with just an elderly cat and a ghost.

"We'll be back before Halloween," Bobby had promised. They video called every day, usually after the show, and he wisely never said anything about the amount of lights she had on.

"Come on, Halloween is fun! It's about dressing up in silly costumes and running around with your friends and getting free candy from strangers," Leo pointed out. "Which is honestly a terrible thing to teach children, now that I say it out loud."

"You just like it because you get to scare people who want to 'get a look at the murder house'," Julie said. And okay, it was pretty funny to see Leo scare the daylights out of troublesome tweens daring each other to touch the door.

"That too." Leo beamed. For a while, that had been the only contact he had with the living, until some 'entrepreneur' had bought the nearly derelict building, slapped some landlord beige on everything, and rented it out to some broke musicians.

"I like the cute parts of Halloween," Julie defended herself. "The candy and the pumpkin spice everything and little kids dressed up in costumes. I could just do without the horror stuff."

All of a sudden, all the lights in the house turned off.

"That isn't funny," she snapped at Leo.

"It wasn't me!" Leo said, raising his hands up in self defence. "It must be the storm."

Great. Just great. "Can you use your ghost powers to turn the lights back on?" she asked, hopeful.

"No?" Leo asked, confused. "Why would you think I could do that?"

"You can turn the TV on and off."

"I turn the TV on and off with the remote," Leo said, amused. "I think you need to... flip the breaker switch. Or something."

"Where even is the breaker switch?" Julie asked, and Leo unhelpfully shrugged. "Okay, I'm going to find some candles or something, so I don't stub my toe or anything trying to find it."

"Skill issue," Leo muttered, phasing through the table. "I'll check the laundry room."

The only candles she was able to find were Bobby's tea lights. They would have to do. She plopped one in a wine glass, holding it up by the stem as a make-shift torch. Leo came back to report the laundry room was a bust.

"Maybe it's in the hallway closet," Julie said, but Leo didn't seem to be listening anymore.

"Did you hear that?" he whispered, even though he was a ghost and nobody else could hear him.

"What?" Julie whispered back.

"I thought I heard someone."

"If this is a joke..." Julie started, but Leo shook his head, curls bouncing. He looked genuinely scared. She put her wineglass-light on the countertop.

"It's not! I heard something."

"Well, go look!" Julie hissed at him. He was a ghost, it's not like anyone could see him, or hear him. If someone had broken into their home...

"You go look!"

"You're a-"

"Hey, why's it so dark in here?" a voice asked, and Julie shrieked, grabbing the nearest utensil and thrusting it at the burglar.

Okay, so maybe when Luke, Reggie, and Alex called Bobby to see how surprising Julie turned out, and he picked up from the ER with a fork stuck in shoulder, they laughed harder than they should. Julie felt really, really bad. He'd been so worried about her, knowing she was creeped out being home alone.

Bobby, being Bobby, had just shrugged his non-forked shoulder. "My wife can stab me a little bit," he'd said. "I don't care."

And that was one of the many reasons why she'd married him.

[rorywritesjunk]

And I can see it each and every time you smile

The Wives have a Girls' Night once a month and Buggy finally gets invited.

Rating: PG Warning: None except Buggy cries once. A/N: Inspired by the ask the lovely @hey-august sent me about The Wives having a Girls' Night. And then I ran with it.

Title comes from "Freshly Laundered Linen" by Boom Forest.

The first clue was the basket of snacks Birdie carried onto the ship. How did she always know where to find them whenever they were at a port? They were things Buggy had never even heard of, but when he looked at the packaging, he figured they must be fancy because the names of the snacks had fancy symbols over the letters while being written in cursive. She wouldn’t even let him have one to try, which was just heartbreaking because she always baked the best treats and let Buggy have the first taste of whatever she made.

The second was Cupcake carrying a few bottles of wine and rum in her arms while holding a few glasses pinched between her fingers. Buggy offered to help her carry them but Cupcake shrugged him off. It was hard not to feel dejected that his wife didn’t need him for that, but what was worse was that he noticed she had a fourth glass. Did they have a friend they were inviting over? How was that fair?

When he saw Sunny in her room a few hours later, a pile of things on her bed, he knew what was going on. He saw the cute clown printed jammies she bought one time on a whim, the fluffy blue bathrobe, and what she called her ‘pampering kit’: manicure set, face masks, hair accessories, everything to feel pampered.

He wasn’t jealous, not at all. Buggy loved that his wives had a Girls Night where they could just be with each other and not with him. He encouraged it, even if he heard them laughing throughout the ship, the murmur of their voices carrying through the walls as they had a Husband Free Evening. He wondered what it was that was so funny. Were they laughing at him, or maybe something he said earlier? Honestly, how could they have that much fun without him around? 

Buggy wasn’t sulking through dinner. He was just feeling a little put out because he knew that he would be alone for a few hours while the three of them disappeared somewhere on the ship (he has never figured out where they end up each time). He tried not to look miserable through dinner, but his wives were well aware how he was feeling and it was Sunny who finally said something.

“What are you doing after dinner, honey?” She asked while Cupcake started clearing the table. Buggy shrugged, pushing his plate away before letting his head drop on the table with a loud sigh.

“Being alone, wallowing away in self pity as I await my lovely wives to come back to me.” He lamented dramatically; all three rolled their eyes while Sunny reached over to touch his shoulder gently.

“So you don’t want to join in on our fun then?”

That’s all Sunny has to say for him to immediately perk up. He was invited to their Girls’ Night. What did that even mean? He didn’t know what to really expect except tasty snacks, drinks, and someone’s hair getting brushed.

~

“This is what you do?” Buggy asked, having changed into the silly clown jammies Sunny had for him while also wearing the fluffy pink robe. He was sitting on the floor in front of Sunny who was currently running a brush through his hair while Birdie worked on his nails and Cupcake rubbed a lemon scented face mask onto his face, making sure to be mindful of his nose. “You just do this for hours?”

“Mhm.” Cupcake said as she applied the mask thick onto his face. “It’s nice to just let loose and do nothing.”

“But you don’t want me around when you do it.” He frowned as Sunny sectioned his hair. All three paused for a moment before Birdie grabbed a bottle of nail polish and held it up for his approval. It was a dark green with a shimmery tone to it, which he nodded to.

“We figured you wouldn’t want to do it.” Cupcake told him with a shrug. “It’s not very exciting.”

“Yea, you aren’t really the type to just sit around, honey.” Sunny added in, leaning down to kiss the top of his head before she went back to brushing. 

“Besides, it’s a way for us to talk any problems out without you jumping in to try and save the day.” Birdie finished as she cleaned the tops of his nails before starting the top coat. “And it’s how we’ve been getting to know each other better.”

“I just don’t want you fighting!” Buggy insisted as Sunny sectioned out his hair for a crown braid. Cupcake finished with the face mask and wiped her hands clean with a washcloth. “That’s all!”

“Disagreements are normal.” Cupcake shrugged. “We have them sometimes.”

Buggy’s jaw dropped at that revelation. “Really?”

“Yea, which is why we do this.” Sunny stuck some hairpins between her teeth as she started the braid. “And I wanted to get Cupcake comfortable here, and then we wanted Birdie to feel the same, and so we have snacks, drinks, and laugh about how much we love this goofy clown who wanted to marry all three of us.”

“Yea, what kinda guy wants three wives who he can’t say no to?” Cupcake grinned as she grabbed a bag of cookies from the basket and opened them up. She helped herself to one first before offering one to Buggy. With his current position of Sunny braiding his hair and Birdie painting the nails on one hand, he didn’t want to move, so Cupcake placed one in his mouth. “I’ll get you a drink, babe.”

“So… so you don’t talk about me?” Buggy asked as he chewed the cookie. It was tasty but he thought Birdie’s baking was better. 

“We do, but not in the way you’re thinking.” Sunny assured him. “We tell each other stories of funny things you’ve done, or stupid things we’ve done, but it’s all fun, Buggy.”

Cupcake filled a glass with some kind of bright red wine and stuck an orange straw in it before holding it out for Buggy. He took a few sips, making a bit of a face at the taste. It was far too sweet for him, which told him this was a flavor Cupcake picked out. Birdie didn’t drink wine and Sunny tended to go for something dry. This was like drinking a liquified strawberry with more sugar than strawberry in it. 

“I’ve really enjoyed it.” Birdie said as she checked Buggy’s nails for any smudges. The green wasn’t quite his color but he chose it, she wouldn’t convince him otherwise. “I like hearing what you’ve all been up to, it’s comforting in a way, you know? It makes me feel like I made the right choice in coming here.” Once she was satisfied that hand was done, she moved onto the next hand. “I love you guys, it’s fun here.”

That was not really the wrong thing to say, because Buggy jerked his hands away to cover his face so they wouldn’t see the tears starting to stream down his face, forgetting the thickly applied face mask he was wearing. It smudged around, getting into his eyes and hair, and the lemon, though it smelled wonderful, stung his poor eyes. The three just watched him bring the mild chaos upon himself while he whined about his eyes hurting, how the mask mixture got into his mouth and how gross it tasted, and that some of it may have gotten up his nose. 

“Why is it you invited him again?” Cupcake sighed as she grabbed a washcloth to wipe his face while Birdie took hold of his hands to keep him from smushing the mask around even more. Sunny just shook her head as she grabbed a glass and filled it with water.

“Because we love him and he makes us laugh.” Sunny chuckled as Cupcake tried to wipe Buggy’s face clean while Birdie tried to fix the work she did on his nails. “Next Girls’ Night he can do our makeup if we don’t make him cry again.”

[toushindai]

I finished reading your latest fic and I have to say your character study of both Rauru and Ganondorf and their relationship to themselves and power made for a very interesting read! My question: what parts of Rauru do you enjoy studying and elaborating on the most? What parts of his character endear you to him?

Thank you anon!! And thank you for the question as well. Rauru is my favorite character in the sense that my brain will NOT stop chewing on him but I don’t know if I have ever felt endeared to him, per se. My firstest reaction to him—when the final trailer dropped—was one of suspicion. “Did you kidnap my princess so that I would solve your problems?!” This was mildly unfair. He didn’t kidnap Zelda. He sure does want me to solve his problems, though? So the feeling somewhat persisted.

He’s just sssooooo. Infuriating. In a way that I’m maybe 70% sure the devs didn’t intend? I’m almost but not quite certain that the game’s writers just want me to perceive him as a noble king whose justly founded kingdom was threatened by a scary evil man who had no real reason for his violence against Hyrule, whose courageous sacrifice of his own life is to be admired and emulated (never mind that Zelda doesn’t need to be told that it’s a ruler’s duty to sacrifice themself for their people, she already did that for a century). Almost, but not quite, and 30% is not a small amount of uncertainty, actually. And that uncertainty comes from:

The specifically called-out fact that he repeatedly reached out to the Gerudo in spite of a lack of positive response, whatever that looked like. Buddy that is ✨coercive✨

His cold, superior treatment of Ganondorf in the Show of Fealty cutscene. Which is even more potent linguistically in Japanese and, I am told, in French. There’s something very twisted IMO about treating Ganondorf as a technical equal whose rightful place is beneath Rauru. It makes my brain go brrrrrrrrr real hard (this is known) and it is too apparent for me to think I’m not supposed to find it a little sick. s-sorry I'm just thinking about it and my brain is going brrrrrrr again. give me a second. ok

And—shifting away from that cutscene even though I live there—I have been thinking recently about how much of the game’s message is that you are not alone and yet how heavily Rauru’s instinct is that he must face the Demon King alone. How he sets up Link, only, as Ganondorf’s eventual doom. It’s Zelda and Mineru who build the framework for the future sages to fight at Link’s side. Rauru’s not fully aligned with the theme of the game, and he grunts at his sister, miffed, when she points that out to him.

So was this intended? He is arrogant—the game names this as his fatal flaw, he names this as his fatal flaw—but how much of his arrogance does the game criticize and how much does it treat as his right? My brain will not stop chewing on this question so I make it the central question of his characterization.

What do I like about him. As a person? Not very much. He is kind and supportive to Zelda. He loves his wife. His ears are very expressive and that’s cute. List ends here, I think. I don’t even respect as a person his desire to be a good and just king because it is far too wrapped up in that “king” part.

But as a character, I like him as someone who showcases—if unintentionally on the game’s part—how ultimately insufficient good intentions are. And how solipsistic it is to think that good intentions are everything. I like writing him as someone who truly wants to be a good person, as good as he can possibly be, and who suddenly finds that he has desires and instincts that don’t support that self-perception at all. I think that happens to all of us, sometimes. We all have moments where our instincts are crueler or more selfish than our ideals. It’s how we chose to react to those instincts that matters, and part of that process is to look at them honestly and admit to them. But Rauru, as I write him, fails this step pretty hard. And what happens as a result? He is left in this morass of inner conflict, he is not able to deal honestly with his own desires. They keep building, and he keeps blaming Ganondorf for provoking them. He faces them for just long enough to act on the worst of them and then, horrified by what he has done, he looks away from them again. Not ideal! Not a desirable outcome! But not, I hope, outside the realm of his characterization. (Zelda tells him he will sacrifice himself and he says well that’s my duty but (A) of all you weren’t here before so things will be different! dw about it! And then when he realizes that no, to sacrifice himself is the only option, there is heartbreak on his face. My guy, you were warned. Did you convince yourself this wasn’t coming?)

He’s complex. Maybe on purpose or maybe because the game doesn’t realize how insidious the evils of empire and monarchy are--I think probably the former greatly exacerbated by the latter. I have made up so much about him but he would not be nearly as interesting if exported into an OC because I'd be starting with the premise "ooooh he's a lil fucked up actually" as opposed to my making this point about the game writing about a character the game (mostly, I think) wants us to think of as purely good.

gnaws on him some more. puts him back in the terrarium. gives the terrarium a good solid shake. what a guy

[away-ward]

this michaelrika kaibanks just ruined everything for me. especially considering banks is my favorite character and i only continued with the series so i could get crumbs of her(which didn happen thanks to pd always favouring rika and thrusting her into situations where she is not needed). honestly, that bonus scene does not sound like banks AT ALL. her worrying about how her how "family" doesnt love her enough after 10 damn years made me want to break something especially since pd made it out like they all adore and love Rika while making banks feel like she was not part of the inner circle. moreover if emory would have become good friends with any one in that weird-ass grp it would have been with banks but NO pd has to make it all about rika..in a bonus scene... about Banks. idk why no one is talking abt that. and this is so against the found family theme pd set up in the books.

kai kai kai what do i even say abt this guy. past kai was such a gem. like i will fight anyone who says otherwise. him and banks were SO DAMN CUTE but the present one.. not so much. in the bonus scene banks asks rika did she go around walking knowing that she could have had kai again and again if banks didnt come into the picture. i think kai WOULD HAVE had rika again if he hadnt found banks and i cant just ignore it no matter how much i try. also why is kai ALWAYS going "rika this rika that" even after he found banks. ik everything and every character in the dn universe is about rika coz pd created them but it is just disturbing kai is like this even though he knows that makes banks uncomfortable.

i was so excited when pd said she was gonna write a bonus scene for dn but MY GOD I WISH I DIDNT READ WHATEVER THE HELL THAT WAS IN HER FACEBOOK. and to think this might be the last kai banks scene we ever get... makes me wanna cry. they deserve so much more. there might be more bonus scenes in that universe but it sure as hell wont be abt kaibanks knowing pd (i mean she did them dirty in their own book making the main focus damon and rika)

ohhh i almost forget about the conclave scene where kai knows about rikas situation before michael. i mean wtf is this even. and when banks get upset rika had the audacity to feel betrayed. after everything kai said to banks in hideaway abt how she is the one he looks for every morning, this scene in conclave just ruined that closure. AND we didnt get to see kai and banks talk about it. of course we didnt because they are just side characters in this series right.

in my opinion, pd should rewrite the bonus and quit making Kai so 'rika-centric' and actually concentrate on how HIS OWN wife feels.

ik this is a lot kai banks but this is years of pent-up frustration over how my best girl and kai were done dirty.

and i feel like i would have liked rika so much more if pd didnt shove her down our throats like that throughout the series

pt 2 of the ask:

by the same person who wrote the kai banks rant will you ever write a fanfic on kai banks coz i have searched the internet and i couldn't find one story abt them. which is really sad since they are the only other couple who made sense apart from will and emmy. and abt my previous rant kai ONLY belongs with banks and we all know it. i mean they belong with each other no one can say otherwise. kai might have been attracted to rika but he will choose banks no matter what so that is why it is frustrating when he is made out to be like he cares abt rika as more than just a friend and more than he should.  what is your thoughts on all this

Honestly, I think you hit the nail on the head why this doesn’t sit right with a lot of us.

One, the time period. I could possibly buy this if it were set within the original series. Maybe before NF or very soon after. But ten years later makes Banks seem very insecure and childish. She’s just been living for ten years thinking that her husband is secretly lusting over what is perceivable her best friend. Or at least her closest female friendship. That doesn’t feel like Banks to me. My understanding of Banks character is that she would have addressed any issue much sooner.

And two, this was supposed to be about Banks. But what we have is Banks making Rika feel better. First, confronting her over the young girl and reminding Rika that she has nothing to feel shamed over. Then, realizing how Rika feels, confirming those feelings. And in a way, Banks realizing that her feelings around Rika were not insecurities but were in fact attraction, is about Banks. But it’s still really about how amazing Rika is, and everyone agrees.

No one is immune to Rika Fane is the point of the scene. But it's the same message we've been getting since Corrupt.

It’s frustrating because it doesn’t give found/chosen family vibes. It’s all about Rika.

And now I feel like this about her:

kai kai kai what do i even say abt this guy. past kai was such a gem. like i will fight anyone who says otherwise.

Okay, okay. I’ll keep my fighting words to myself...

But anyway, Kai alone frustrates me (which is super disappointing because from other’s POVs, he’s delightful and interesting). Banks makes him better. I love the two of them together. The fact that he’s given any room for Banks to develop feelings of doubt about him and Rika is so odd. There’s no argument for it.

the conclave scene where kai knows about rikas situation before michael. i mean wtf is this even. and when banks get upset rika had the audacity to feel betrayed.

See, Rika confiding in Kai didn’t bother me, because it made sense to me that she’d confide in him. At this point, Kai is one of her closest friends and I (maybe erroneously) thought of Kai as the most reasonable and comforting of the group, which is something Rika needed. It’s the jealousy and the doubt about their relationship that comes after that ruined it for me. Either Rika and Kai can be friends and nothing else, or they can’t. And PD is really pushing this “they can’t” idea with every update and bonus they post. Which is so weird.

Do you think we could challenge PD to write a couple-centric scene where none of the other couples show up, if only for us to get quality couple content?

ik this is a lot kai banks but this is years of pent-up frustration over how  my best girl and kai were done dirty.

Hey, I get it. I’m here for some kaibanks conversation. As much as Kai in the series frustrates me, Kaibanks in my head sit in the same boat as Willemmy, which is that they are cute and deserve better.

And didn’t feel like didn’t would have liked rika so much more if pd didn’t shove her down our throats like that throughout the series

Very true.

will you ever write a fanfic on kai banks coz i have searched the internet and i couldn't find one story abt them. which is really sad since they are the only other couple who made sense apart from will and emmy.

It's not that I don’t want to, but I haven’t been able to wrap my head around Kai and Banks as characters. This scene helped with Banks a little, but now Kai is harder to understand. I know there were some oneshots over on Wattpad if you have access. If I were to ever break from Willemmy, Kaibanks would probably be the next one I'm inclinded towards, though. Sorry I can’t promise anything.

kai ONLY belongs with banks and we all know it. i mean they belong with each other no one can say otherwise. kai might have been attracted to rika but he will choose banks no matter what so that is why it is frustrating when he is made out to be like he cares abt rika as more than just a friend and more than he should. 

I completely agree. I think with the way the family is set up, there would be nothing wrong with Kai thinking Rika or any of the other girls are attractive, but it should be clear that he doesn’t have the same bond/connection/relationship to them as he does with Banks. I still think back to Michael openly declaring that Rika was everything to him, and it’s strange that none of the other guys have similar moments where they remove any doubt that they want no one else.

Like, I don’t think Michael wants Banks. Or Winter. Or Em. He wants Rika and Rika’s happiness. He might think Banks is hot, but that’s probably as far as it goes.

That’s Banks. Kai’s wife, Damon’s sister. Pain in his neck.

If somebody gave Kai an ounce of that energy towards Rika, we’d have a completely different vibe.

I'm not sure what can be done to protect our sanity. I, for one, usually hate to ignore canon, but sometimes it's just... not worth acknowledging in favor of your own HC.

That might be the case here.

Let me know your kaibanks HC if you're up for it. Anyway, have a great day. Hope you forget all about the bonus scene soon!

-KO

[redandfranticfeelings]

i wrote a bob's burgers fanfic about bob helping louise overcome jitters on her wedding night

inspired by a quote in "poops i didn't do it again," ao3 link will be in replies

Between his racing thoughts and Linda’s restless legs, Bob already wasn’t sleeping too well. So when his humming phone made the bedside table vibrate, he was relatively quick to respond.

“Hello?” he groggily answered.

“Daaaaad!”

Of course he’d know that chipper voice anywhere.

“Louise?” Bob sat up as fast as he could without making himself dizzy. “Is everything okay?”

The last time he’d seen his youngest daughter, she had demanded that none of her family members call her unless someone was dying – “and even then, they better be bleeding or suffocating.” She and Rudy had a morning flight to San Francisco, and knowing how carefully they’d saved for both the wedding and the honeymoon, Bob had taken her instruction seriously. But now she was calling him?

“Oh, it’s better than okay!” She sounded happy, but he couldn’t be too sure. She’d put this same cheery voice on when trying to cut a deal with a customer she wanted to strangle. “Rudy was hungry, so I walked down to this sushi place we’d read about – Sushi Stay or Sushi Go? Yeah, turns out they have a bunch of authentic Japanese cookware here.”

“Oh, really?” Bob rubbed his eyes open.

“Yeah! And it’s all discounted because it’s been slightly used, which is enough to make it basically worthless to rich chefs. I think I even saw a Fukinawa knife.”

“You’re kidding. A real Fukinawa knife?”

“Eyeballing it, I can’t be sure if it’s the real deal, but they just sliced an albacore in mid-air with it, so it’ll put asses in seats anyway. I’m sure you’ll clock it better than I can.”

Bob eased himself up onto the floor. “Where even is this place? You said it’s called… Sushi Stay? Sushi Go?”

“No, no. Sushi Stay or Sushi Go. One phrase. It’s like, right by our hotel. It’s open 24 hours. Big neon sign. You can’t miss it.”

“Alright, Louise. I’ll come check it out.”

As Bob sauntered over to get his coat, his wife began to stir as well. “Wussup, Bobby?” she yawned, not sitting up quite yet.

“Louise called.”

“Oh, is she okay?” Linda yawned, still winded from the reception. “Rudy ain’t already giving her a hard time, is he?”

“No, it’s fine.” Bob pulled his coat over his pajamas and stuffed his feet into his clogs. “It’s just… business stuff. Just a restaurant she wanted to show me before she left.”

“Okay, little night owls.” Linda settled back into her pillow. “Just don’t sleep all morning. Unless I do. Then don’t bother me.” She fell back asleep quickly.

Bob walked to his car, more anxious than ever. There was no Fukinawa knife, and he knew it. And honestly, Louise probably knew he knew it.

----

He already knew the route to Louise’s hotel, so finding the sushi place was pretty easy. It was well-lit, and through the glass, he could see their sole customer sitting up at the counter.

She still wore her wedding dress – well, more of a tuxedo-dress, with the skirt tattered like some kind of corpse bride. Her hair was still down, her idea of having anything “fancy” done with it, because she’d refuted all of Jocelyn’s offers to style it pro-bono. And of course, she had the pink beanie-turned-bandana tied around her head. There was no food in front of her, and as far as Bob could tell, no to-go box for Rudy.

Bob parked in a free spot and opened the door. Louise’s head turned when she heard the bell ring. “Ooooh, you just missed the salesguy.” She put on a facade of frustration. “He needed to get back to Japan for an expo in the morning, so he couldn’t wait up. Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I actually don’t have cash, anyway.” Bob took the stool next to his daughter. He noticed, on either side of him, little papers folded to look like fish and seaweed. He picked up a tiny origami fish. “These are cute.”

“Yeah, I think the owner’s kid made them, so he put them out front to cultivate this beachy aesthetic. He said we can take a couple home, the kid’s always making more anyway.” She scoffed. “Child labor, am I right?”

Bob curiously unfolded part of the fish, then immediately regretted it as he had no idea how to replicate all those seamless creases, and his re-folding attempts only seemed to mutilate it further.

“Great going, father,” Louise snarked. “You’re killing endangered marine life.”

“It’s too many creases. Here, you try it.” He handed the crumpled paper square to his daughter. “You know… paper. Better than I do.”

Having spent most of middle school turning red-marked assignments into paper masterpieces, and generally having younger and nimbler hands than her father, Louise re-folded the fish without hesitation. “Wow,” Bob remarked.

“I wonder if origami would suit our place,” Louise mused, making the fish swim through the air. “We hang little paper burgers everywhere or something. Maybe it’ll make us look quote-unquote cultured.”

“I don’t know,” Bob said, giving the same response he always gave Louise’s business ideas. “Half the time we redecorate the restaurant, people get freaked out. Or think we’re haunted. Or a…gay bar? That one time?”

“You’re right. Let’s think bigger. We’ll print our menus bilingually. And every hour, we’ll perform the 2.5D Burobu musical I wrote with Gene in high school. Full love scene included.”

Bob shook his head, giving a very small chuckle. Louise had spent most of her adulthood as his business consultant humbling him, and it had mostly paid off. It seemed she had a new marketing idea every week, and though it wasn’t without some serious costs (“Who cares about the wind? I nearly lost a foot getting these fireworks across the border!”), it definitely drew far more positive attention to the restaurant than they’d gotten in the past two decades. They weren’t booming, but they always had someone curious about the Burger of the Day they’d seen out front (after Louise suggested that, Bob had a week-long crisis about how stupid he’d been for not doing it sooner) and the somewhat unsettling chalk drawing that accompanied it.

“How about we meet in the middle?” He cracked a smile. “You and Rudy can hang up some of your old puppets.”

Something about that drained all the pride from Louise’s face. “Yeah, me and Rudy can do a lot of things now,” she mumbled, focusing narrowly on her paper fish.

Fatherly concern struck Bob once again. “Okay, Louise.” He knew he couldn’t put this off any further. “What are you doing down here in the middle of the night? In your dress?”

She scoffed. “What, a woman can’t swing by a 24-hour sushi place and take in the sights the night before her honeymoon?”

“I mean you can, it’s just… I figured you’d want to be with Rudy tonight. You both seemed pretty excited.”

“Yeah yeah, we were super excited! It’s San Francisco is as close to a trip to Tokyo as I'll ever get! But, uh, well…” Her phony enthusiasm began to falter. “I think we might need to postpone the trip.”

“What?” Bob exclaimed. “Louise, you and Rudy have been saving to go to California for months.” He swore he saw her eye twitch.

“I don’t know…” Her eyes darted around the room. “The weather might be unpleasant? We’ll be sweating our asses off, and you know how easy Rudy burns. Honestly, June weddings are so overrated.” She chuckled, and it was clear she was running out of lies.

“Louise.” Bob made direct eye contact with his daughter – something both of them hated to do.

Louise scoffed and fidgeted for a few more moments, but when she couldn’t dig up any more excuses, she just groaned. “I don’t want a honeymoon, Dad!”

“What changed?”

“Oh, nothing much, just this little thing where I had to declare in front of my entire family that I’d be devoted to one man for the rest of my life.”

“Well, you love Rudy, right?” Bob felt a bit jittery. Louise and Rudy had been dating for nearly a decade before their engagement, so he couldn’t imagine her feeling rushed.

“Of course I do.” There was a softness in her eyes that always emerged when she spoke about Rudy. “He’s like, the nicest person in the world. And when I was looking right at him, telling him I loved him, I really wanted him to know that. I felt that.” She sighed. “But like… everyone else was saying things that just drove me crazy.”

“Like?”

“‘Congrats to you and Rudy.’ ‘You two will have such a great future.’ ‘You look great together.’” She scowled with every sentence. “It’s like I didn’t exist. I just became half of some… Rudy-and-Louise love monster. And when we got to the hotel, he kept introducing me as ‘my wife’ to everyone there.”

“That’s kind of sweet,” Bob said, and he meant it, but his tone didn’t quite convey it.

"Dad." Now she looked her father right in the eyes. "This one little kid in the lobby started calling me ‘My Wife Louise’.”

“Oh. Oh my god.”

“Yeah. Getting back to our room after all that did not exactly put me in a honeymoon mood. He even called room service to order champagne for ‘him and his wife.’ Fuck, how do other newlyweds hear that all day and still jump each other’s bones?” She gripped her dress like she wanted to tear it right off. “You're basically half-people now, so you’re half as sexy too.”

“Mmm.” Understandably, Bob didn’t really want to think about Louise and Rudy like that.

Now that she’d gotten that off her chest, she tried, awkwardly, to revert to her casual arrogance. “Anyway, I was gonna tell him you had an emergency and I couldn’t go to San Francisco with him. But you know I can’t lie to him. So I just wrote my feelings in a note, left it by his bedside while he’s sleeping off the liquor, and I’ll hitch a ride home with you to stay at the apartment. We’ll figure things out in the morning, or whatever.”

“Oh my god. Louise, no.” Bob felt so bad for his daughter, but he knew this was the wrong move. “You can’t just run off. Not after all this.”

“Relaaaaax!” She tried to wave him off. “I’ll still be married to him, legally. I just can’t do all that coupley shit right now. We can consummate our marriage and all that shit in a few months. And I’m not wasting the plane ticket, I’ll just pawn it or haggle for a different day. I’m a great haggler.”

“Still. It’s not fair to Rudy.”

“I know it’s not fair to Rudy!” Louise cried out, startling the chefs working in the kitchen. “I just can’t see any other option. I just know if I go on that trip with him, I’ll spend the whole time feeling like… ‘wife Louise,’ not normal Louise. And I can’t risk turning into that forever. I’m not Tina.”

“You won’t turn into Tina. Also, being Tina isn’t a bad thing.”

“Being Tina, I could survive – barely. Being wife Tina is my fucking nightmare.”

As much as Bob wanted to argue with that, seeing his son-in-law still made him inexplicably twitchy, and the way Tina spoke so fondly of him sounded like a foreign language. He only really understood it when he saw them with his granddaughter.

“But what sucks the most is that I know he’ll figure that out. I know he’ll know I’m upset, and he’ll think it’s because of him. I need him to know it’s not his fault. I’m just not good at being a wife. And I wish I knew that before we got married, because he’s been so terrified I’m gonna leave him for good. So I can’t tell him how fucked up I am to his face, but I can’t lie to him either.”

Louise swatted the fish off the counter, onto the floor, and slumped onto the counter. Bob got off the stool, bent down very carefully, and picked it back up.

“You know, your mother and I didn’t have a honeymoon on our wedding night.”

“Dad, I’ve seen the pictures. You barely had a wedding.”

“True. We’re not really… good at romance. I mean, your mother is. She’s really into it.”

“This to the girl who just endured an eight-minute musical wedding toast. Preaching to the choir, Dad.”

Bob chuckled. Linda had spent months workshopping that, and what she sang at the reception wasn’t even half of what she’d written. “My point is, I didn’t think I’d be good at being a husband. And maybe I’m not, to some people. Your mother usually thinks I am. But I guess everyone has a different idea of what a married couple should be. We're not all like Tina and Daniel. I mean, I love your mother, but if I did everything she wanted us to do, I’d be… really tired. All the time.”

“You would be?” Louise was smiling again.

“Hey, cut me some slack. It’s the middle of the night. Plus I just had to bend down.” He placed the fish back in front of Louise. “But you and Rudy can have fun together and still be your own people. Like, he can do his magic, and you can do your… delightfully creepy blackboard drawings.”

“You make my job sound like my only hobby. You make my life sound sad.”

“Mmm. And then both of you can do your puppet shows and anime conventions and hikes and stuff. And you don’t have to hold yourself back.”

“I kind of do. Rudy can’t walk too far without losing his breath.”

“I mean you don’t have to stop being Louise. You’re just…” He glanced down at the paper fish. “The same Louise, in a different shape.”

Louise ran her thumb along the creases. The paper had some awkward creases from being folded and unfolded, but they knew it was a fish. Just like Bob still knew she was Louise.

“Geez,” she scoffed, “if you’re gonna use them for corny metaphors, maybe we’ll ditch the origami idea.” She passed the fish to her dad. “Here. I hear some customers use these as tips in Japan. Consider it a tip for some good fatherly advice.”

“Honestly, I prefer being tipped with money.”

“Oh, hard agree.”

“But… coming from my daughter, it means a lot.”

The bride finally scooted off the stool. “Welp, I better get back to my hotel. I got a marital bed to sneak back into.”

“You should destroy that note.”

“Totally. It’ll feel good.” Louise held out her hand to help her aging father to his feet. “You know, the sashimi here isn’t even worth taking home to him. They need that cutesy beginner's origami more than we ever will.”

Louise held onto Bob all the way to his car, and he held the strands of her dress to ensure neither of them would trip. He sat in the driver’s seat and watched her walk back home for a few minutes, but he definitely wouldn’t follow her. After all, she was an independent woman.

----

Rudy Belcher was out like a light, still wearing everything from the wedding except his blazer and one shoe, which were draped over a chair. He looked so delicate, even as he snored up a storm. Louise always listened carefully as she fell asleep to make sure he didn’t choke.

As she undressed and crawled into bed, Louise carefully took the folded-up note from the bedside table. She quietly unfolded it, scrunched up her nose at the curt writing, then re-folded it into a paper fish and placed it under her pillow before wrapping her arm around Rudy.

Maybe in the morning before boarding, she’d throw it onto the runway and hope that it’d swim into a jet engine.

Or just rip it up like a normal person.

But that wouldn’t be very Louise of her, would it?

[abbatoirablaze]

Burning Up, Chapter 9

Word Count:  1.6k

Warnings:  angst

“It happens,” Laurie shrugged sadly as she bit her lip and looked to Steve’s wife, who sadly nodded as well, “it happens every time a new captain is chosen and the calendar comes out.”

“It nearly broke Steven and I up,” she sighed, admitting the sad truth while her toddler laid sleepily on her shoulder.  She looked at the little girl and brushed some of her hair behind her ear, and she yawned, “honestly…if it wasn’t for me cleaning my stuff out of the drawers and finding an engagement ring hiding in the back, I probably would have left…”

“You were going to leave Steve?” Laurie gasped, finally looking at the woman, “you-you’ve never told me that…”

“I didn’t think there was much of a point in saying anything,” she shrugged, “you know…I remember how you told me what saved your marriage was you finding out you were pregnant with Jacob…and me and Steve weren’t trying to have babies just yet…he’d just let me put stuff at his place…and we’d only been dating ten months.”

“Well what did you do?” you asked gently.

“What any insane woman would do,” she smiled, thinking back to the memory, “I took the ring and marched myself down to the firehouse.  Nearly everyone was out getting groceries.  Bucky and Steve had stayed at the firehouse in case anyone needed anything…and when I got there, all I heard was Steve telling him how much he loved me, but how he thought becoming captain might have been a mistake because of the calendar.  He was asking Bucky what he thought about me.”

“Well…” you hinted, wanting to hear how the story ended, “what happened then?”

“I heard him talk about everything…I just stood there, listening to it,” she admitted, “I was standing there, just waiting behind them until the guys came in the front door.  Johnny acknowledged me and I swear I’d never seen Steve move so fast.  He snapped around and went pale.  Well…I told him I heard everything…and like a dumbass I had the box in my other hand.”

“That’s the day Steve proposed,” Laurie smiled, finishing up the story, “I remember Andy telling me that he proposed that day that you found the box. But I didn't know about the other part of the story.”

“He did,” she smiled, “in front of everyone.  He came right up to me and apologized for the calendar, and how women had been coming after him.  But he told me that he loved me.  That he wanted only me.  And he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.”

“Andy said it was so cute.”

She looked back to her daughter and sniffled a little bit, then brushed her hair out of her face once more, “which is exactly why you shouldn’t give up on Curtis…the transition is rough, and the women are ruthless.  But we can both see how much you mean to him…”

“He’s missed every date night since that night at the restaurant.”

“Talk to him about it!” Laurie agreed, “you said it yourself.  You had started to drift away from him because of it."

“Yeah…”

“Just have to talk to him,” you muttered once more as you gathered your courage and your purse from the passenger seat and threw it over your shoulder, “I’ve talked to Curtis before…we talk all the time.  I’m living with him….just have to say…”

But your words trailed off the longer you sat in your car and watched the firehouse.  While Laurie and Steve’s wife had assured you that the women would be dying down, you weren’t so sure.  They had continued to swarm the firehouse, and if it was even possible, you felt like there was even more women around it. 

Despite that, you got out of your car and started making your way through the hoard of women.  While a good bit of them were there for the rest of the guys, every sign that had Curtis’ name on it, every woman calling for him, just made you madder. 

“CURTIS!”

“CAN WE GET A PICTURE!”

“HAVE MY BABIES, CAPTAIN CURTIS!”   

“Aright, alright, back it up!”

Your breath caught in your throat.  The woman pushing the other women was none other than the woman that had pushed you out of our own date with your boyfriend.  You felt your throat pinching together, and tears welling up in your eyes. 

“I need to see Curtis…” you tried to speak up, past the other women.  But she pushed you back again.

“You all don't need to see the captain…” she all but spat, “we’ve got training to do.  All of you groupies need to leave…”

“I’m his girlfriend!”

She scoffed, not even bothering to look at you as she ushered the group of women further out of the firehouse, “all of you would like to be his girlfriend, but Captain Curtis doesn’t have one!  You all need to leave!”

Your heart broke at her words. 

You hadn’t expected her to say that.  And you hadn’t expected it to affect you like it had. You knew that she knew who you were, but the words coming from her felt almost like a dismissal of your entire relationship.

Curtis had no girlfriend.

Somehow, the words felt like a dagger straight through your chest. 

But you didn’t have the heart or energy to fight it.  So, with the other girls, you left, making your way back towards your car.  Maybe this was how your story was supposed to end with him.  Just some fun that turned into something more. 

A tear streamed down your cheek as you walked away, your hand sliding down to your stomach.

And then all at once, you felt like you were being whipped around.  You had been so lost in your own thoughts that you hadn’t noticed Curtis.  You hadn’t noticed how he had made his way to you, and was now holding you by your waist. 

He looked out of breath as he stared at you.

“Baby…”

You cringed as the solo word left his mouth, “Curtis…I-I shouldn’t be here.”

The world seemed to fade away as you looked into his desperately sad eyes, “What are you talking about?”

“Curtis…let me go,” you begged slowly, “coming here…th-this was a mistake.”

“Babe…”

“Captain…is this woman bothering you?”

Curtis gave her a sideways look, “This is my girlfriend…she couldn’t be both-“

“Ex girlfriend.”

His eyes shot to yours.  Confusion laced his features, “W-what are you talking about?”

“Our relationship feels like it’s a chore, anymore, Curtis,” you admitted sadly, pulling out of his grasp, “I-I thought we could fix it…but we can’t.  I-“

“We can make it work…”

“No we can’t Curtis.  This is all too-“

“I can change!” he said quickly, cutting you off, “whatever it is that I need to do, just tell me…I’d do it in a hearbeat and you-“

"Curtis, there's noth-"

"I'll leave the station if that's what you want!" he said quickly, cutting you off, "just say the word, baby. I don't want to los-"

“I cheated on you.”

The lie slipped far too easily from your lips.  His grip on you faltered and you finished removing yourself from his arms.

“Wh-what?”

“I cheated on you,” you repeated, unable to meet his eyes anymore.  You looked over his shoulder, and saw his brothers standing just inside the firehouse, “i-“

“What?” he all but roared, “Bullshit!”

“It was with me!” Johnny said quickly, stepping forward as he placed himself between you and Curtis. You wished you could give him a look, begging him not to interfere, but it was too late. You were, however, grateful. You knew that if no one had stepped in you would admit that you were lying. You would admit that you came down to ask him to leave the company because of your own news. But you only bit your lip, holding it in as Johnny continued, “she came by to tell you that she’s leaving you…and she’s going to move in with me…right baby?”

You gave him an unsure look, but he only nodded, hooking his arm around your waist.

“Baby…”

“Tell him, baby…” Johnny said quickly, shooting you another look, “it’s okay…”

You frowned as you stared at Johnny who sat across from you in the booth, “you didn’t have to do that, you know…”

“I know the look you had,” he said with a frown as he held the beer he was nursing against his bruised eye, “you couldn’t have left if you wanted…would have admitted you lied about cheating and then told him you couldn’t do it…”

“He gave you a black eye and a busted lip…”

“He needed to feel that rage…he’ll get over it when he realizes it wasn’t true,” he shrugged, “and by that time you’ll have the time you need to heal and move on…”

You bit your bottom lip, stopping the tears from flowing, “Johnny…wh-what do I do?”

“Well, first thing’s first,” he sighed, sliding the untouched beer away from you, “have you been to the doctor yet?”

You shook your head, a lone tear sliding down your cheek. You were amazed at how in such a short time, Johnny had become your best friend, and able to read you so easily, “I-I haven’t.”

Johnny put his beer down and reached out, taking your hands in his, “We’ll get through this, sweetheart…we will.  I promise. I've got a friend who can look at you in the morning...but I'm serious...you're moving in with me. Now that you walked away from Curtis, there's no going back, and I know you don't have anything saved up or in mind. I've got a few extra bedrooms at my house.”

“Thank you, Johnny.”

"Of course, sweetheart," johnny nodded sadly, "I'll have Reed and Ben take Curtis out tomorrow so that we can go back to the apartment and pack some stuff up for you too...okay?"

"Yeah...okay, Johnny."

Chapter 10

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