#Hireath

[the-pen-pot]

👀

(No, I haven't actually finished writing Hiraeth yet, but I'm getting there, and it's definitely of a length where it will need to be split over two volumes for the sold-at-cost print run.)

(Potential release.... September??? Maybe?)

[blueberry-ovaries]

CHAPTER ONE: HELL IS A SANDY TOWN IN NORTH AFRICA

A/N: i’m so excited to present the first chapter of hiraeth! I really hope you guys love Winnie as much as I do! thank you all so much for the love <3

Word count: 1.9k

Content warnings: violence, swearing, reference to implied extreme violence (only before and after, no detailed description), probably historical inaccuracy

< prologue > - < next chapter >

The sand in Tobruk was different to the sand at the beach Winnie decided. In Tobruk, it was sharp. Small flecks leaving traces of dirt on her cheeks, specks of blood blooming against her skin. Her rucksack held diminished resources, her bandages covered in a layer of dust and grime. Her MRE supply dwindling every time the hot dessert was drowned under a blanket of night. Sometimes they had fires, but most of the time they were left to huddle together, utilising bodies for warmth.

Fires drew attention and attention drew bullets. Being surrounded on three of the four sides was relentless work, fighting and survival. Much more so when the fourth side was a small shipping dock. A dock that may seem irrelevant, but in the grand scheme of the war, that small little dock could change the course of the war in Europe.

Severely out numbered and surrounded, the Allies were forced to fight for mere inches of land. The Germans would not get to the dock. So they dug in. Put the hospital underneath an old tree in the hardened sand, and rationed their food for months on end.

Silver marks littered her skin, scars showcasing her survival. Seven in total, the largest, one running from nose to cheek on her right side. In her fourth month in Tobruk, A small squad of German soldiers broke the line, guns raised and bayonets fastened. They charged Winnie and her squad, a small group watching the line. Their guns lay forgotten next to their game of cards, as they fought with fists and rocks.

Winnie was pinned. An arm against her neck, knife to cheek. Squirming against the hot sand as her cheeks flush with exertion. He flicks a look down her face, ah a woman- a girl. Such a shame that a pretty thing like you is stuck in such a horrible place. His breath was hot against her skin as she pushed against him, his arms much more refined than that of a sixteen year old girl. Tell me, how do they treat a pretty thing like you? She spits, he flinches back, a snarl on his lips. stupid bitch he growls, as he presses down on her neck, his forearm cutting off air supply. He slices the knife down, the top of her nose to her right cheek. Blood streams down her chin as she screams. She was going to die, afraid and pinned.

His arms move to pin hers above her head as she writhes and squirms against it. Her chest heaved, eyes darting frantically. out. she needed to get out. The sting of the blade cutting through flesh holds no place in her mind. out. out. out. His free arm holds her face in a loose grip, he spits out threats of a slow death and insults.

As he moves the hand on her face towards her neck with a firm hand, and his face pressed near her ear, the world freezes. It’s just Winnie and the german soldier, and one of them would die tonight. Her arms can’t break free to reach the knife, his legs have caged hers down. So like a rabid dog, she bares teeth.

When the pounding in her ears becomes a soft ringing and her chest no longer racks with shuddered breaths. The metallic taste on her tongue drips from her chin. She looks down at her hands, shaking. His blood pools around him, shining in the reflection of the moon. i’m a monster. i’m a monster… or maybe a dog backed into a corner, forced to bare teeth and bite.

—

5th of August, 1942

With a gasp she shoots to a sitting position, the room blurry with sleep. Chest heaving Winnie swings her socked feet onto the ground, hands tangled in her hair. Her shirt sticks to her back although it’s cold and coming into winter.

Two days ago, Winnie was stationed at the Toccoa Georgia Base camp, where she would join the 2nd Battalion ,506th parachute infantry regiment, 101st division, easy company. She’s told they are going to be the best of the best. If you asked her, she would say they can’t be that good if they are yanks.

Today is the day. She meets her new platoon, new faces, same issues. Colonel Sink had graciously taken in the teen, assuring her commander in the ANZAC’s that she would fit right in, if she’s really as good as they say.

The morning wake up happened shortly after Winnie was dressed, packed and ready to go. Swinging her bag over her shoulder and grabbing her new yank hat. She made her way towards Colonel sinks office.

With a firm hand she knocks, straightening out her ever crooked collar

“Come in” the colonels gruff voice calls from behind the door

taking a shuddering breath, Winnie opens the door, walking in, standing with her hands behind her back. Frowning slightly at the odd looks she’s receiving

“Oh, right sorry” she mumbles, standing at attention.

As Colonel Sink gives her a salute in return she stands with her arms tucked behind her back. She shifts on her feet, picking at the skin around her nails.

“Colonel Sink, sir? i was asked to come and see you” she states hesitatingly “Winifred Hayes, your new-“

“I know who you are sergeant” the Colonel cuts her off. The older man pushes up on his desk to a stand, walking around to lean on the front of his desk, arms crossed over his chest as he stares down at her.

“Right. of course… sir” she answers quickly

“Do you know why you’re here Miss Hayes?” he asks firmly. Although older, and his hair more grey than brown, Colonel Sink held an aura of respect that was hard to not obey. Even someone like Winnie, who grew up in an informal setting, and called her previous leaders and CO’s various nicknames, knew that the man was someone to be respected. That’s not to say she held no respect for her previous CO’s, no. She respected them greatly, but the jump from Australian to American norms was a shock.

“To serve… sir?” Winnie stutters slightly, trying to remember that sir is used more consistent here. It was rather bothersome.

“Well i would hope so Miss Hayes” He answers with a light chuckle. “you are here because, you’re good.”

“Sir…?” Winnie frowns. Of course she was good.

“Never in all my years in the army have I heard of a woman, much less a girl, fighting in a war, to the extent you have, no less” He congratulates “And there ain’t much of you either! Look at you!” With a wheezy laugh the Colonel claps a hand over her shoulder

“Oh… well thank you… Sir” confused and quite frankly startled at the congratulations, Winnie picks up her bag, following Colonel Sink outside

“Now, don’t be too startled by your new CO. He’s tough, but i think you’ll fit right in with the men. Easy company is going to be our best” he explains, Winnie nodding along “Don’t expect him to go easy on you just ‘cause you’re a girl either, he’s gone treat you the same as the men”

The mans southern accent was quite odd. Winnie couldn’t place where it was from. Not that she knew much about southern accents

“Now, unfortunately we don’t have the space for a women’s only area, so you’re just gone have to figure it out with the men” Colonel Sink kept a firm grip on her shoulder as he walked towards, what Winnie assumes is her new company.

“Lieutenant Sobel, Winters” Colonel Sink returns the salute “This here is your new easy company member”

“…Sirs” Winnie salutes the two men, giving an awkward smile as they return it.

“Now i got some business to attend to, i trust she will be fine in your capable hands?” The Colonel finalises as he leaves

——

Winnie had never wanted the ground to swallow her whole more than she does right now.

She’s standing. In front of all of Easy company, as they stare at her. She can’t tell if it’s curiosity, hate or confusion.

“Men.” Sobel yells “Colonel Sink has decided that we deserved to be punished, in some form. At least that is the only reason i can think that a girl has been placed in our platoon”

Winnie pulls a face of disgust… or maybe it’s anger. Before she realises where she was and quickly stares blankly. An awkward silence had fallen over the group as she shifted her, rather heavy mind you, bag on her shoulder

“I expect each and every one of you to treat her” Sobel was glaring at her, she could feel the disgust in his eyes and words “how she deserves to be treated.”

Swallowing what she was sure was a string of curses Winnie feels a hand in her shoulder, Lieutenant Winters… was it?… And all the Easy men were gone. She had zoned out. again.

“Winifred Hayes was it?” The red headed man asked “Lieutenant Winters”

He held his hand out expectantly. She shook it firmly. Just like dad taught. Before being led away from the training ground

“Yes, although just Winnie is fine” with an appreciative smile she follows his lead “Only my grandmother calls me Winifred”

“Well just Winnie… Dick is also fine, when it’s not a formal setting of course” He smirked

“Of course. Wouldn’t want to upset a formal setting” Winnie answered with an awkward smile

“Let me grab that for you” Dick offered, reaching for her bag

“Oh… it’s really no worry, it’s probably pretty heavy” She mumbles as she rubbed the back of her neck

“I insist. It’s the least i could do after watching you stand in-front of the men like that” Instantly he took her bag from her shoulder “The men aren’t as bad as they look. I’m sure you’ll get along just fine… although many of them haven’t expected a girl at training”

“It’s fine. Not many people do” Winnie answers honestly, the steps to the barracks creaking under the weight of the two of them

The door creaks open, the shuffling inside the room freezing at the intrusion of the two new people, card games lay on various beds, feet kicked up with books and magazines being read. Instantly the men all stand to salute

“At ease gentlemen” Winters salutes back

The men fall back into a relaxed stance, staring… glaring? at Winnie. She gives an awkward smile.

“Gentlemen, this is Winnie Hayes, she’s new to Easy.” Winnie shifts on her feet “i expect you all to be kind to her, show her around. She’s one of us now, and she may just have some… wisdom to pass on”

Dick places her bag on an empty bed between two men, one a surly looking man with a sharp jaw, the other a red headed man who somehow had three people squashed onto his bed. The atmosphere only became more tense as Lieutenant Winters left, the door slamming behind him

“Where you from?” the surly man questioned, his accent was different to Colonel Sinks and Lieutenant Winters, it was more rough around the edges

“Why the fuck you wanna know?” She answers crossing her arms over her chest.

The surly man raises an eyebrow. great fucking going Winnie, piss off the first person you talk to. But to her surprise his lip quirks in a smile

“You got some bite to ya” he smirks.

She goes to answer as the door slams open again really should get that fixed. Sobel stands in the doorway, a glare on his face as he yells

“Get dressed we’re running Currahee”

A overall groan leaves the men after he leaves. Winnie just had one question…what the fuck was a currahee?

——

A/N: Winnie’s hatred for Americans will be explained! although it’s not a proper hatred

TAG LIST: @malarkgirlypop @footprintsinthesxnd @mads-weasley @bucky32557038ww2 @grumpy-liebgott @executethyself35

[harrierttv]

You cannot know how excited I am for the season finale of Hireath!!

@allurasgrace

[confusedgeckotree]

Ever just wear a cowboy hat for over 12 hours and take it off and get phantom cowboy hat sensations like it's supposed to be there I keep half feeling it there Where's my fucking hat help its supposed to be on my head

[dyno511]

Thank You for The Best of You

Summary: Cossy's birthday is coming around and everyone's found out he's never had a Chuck-E-Cheese's birthday party.

Word Count: 4355

Author's Note: This was a birthday gift for my friend <3

Read on Ao3 | Masterlist

        Most mornings were quiet in the Fischer house, today however, was not most mornings. Any time Sibylle’s friends spent the night, it was bound to be a chaotic morning but the family would have it no other way. The laughter from the group was enough to let being woken up in the morning go. Heinrich made his way to the kitchen, starting breakfast for the bunch and his youngest daughter, waiting for Sibylle or Mycena to make their way down to apologize for waking him up.

        As the man cooked, a girl appeared across from him. A grin on her face as she watched her father make pancakes for everyone. To any outsider, it was clear they were related, the girl looked so similar to her father, they even had the same grin. Once you got to know them, It was even clearer. The way they cared about others, the way they talked to people, the way they joked, it was all the same.

        “Sorry we woke you up, Cossy had a nightmare and Myce didn’t know how to help so I just woke everyone up before they did,” His daughter nodded at him, taking a seat on a stool.

        “It’s alright, you don’t have them over that often anyways. Is everyone coming down?”

        “Yeah, Myce and Cossy are making everyone apologize to █████ for waking her up though so they might be a minute,” Sibylle nodded, doodling on some junk mail from the day before.

        Silence filled the room as Heinrich finished up the pancakes and Sibylle drew, only for it to be broken as Hireath and Cossy joined them, Mycena, Gail, and Felis following behind.

        “I’m fine Hireath! It was just a nightmare don’t- hey! Put that down!” The younger pleaded, laughing as the brunette chased after him with a spray bottle. The rest of the group watched, filling their plates with the finished pancakes.

        Before Hireath could finally get Cossy with the spray bottle, another interrupted, Felis, smiling at Cossy as he led him to the table.         “Eat before Hireath ends up dumping the whole spray bottle out on you,” A chuckle escaping him as he took a seat next to Cossy, nodding to Hireath as she joined them all.

        Quiet chatter emerged from the group as breakfast went on, silence never having a chance to emerge. Each of them looked so happy, from Sibylle and Mycena, with their constant stolen glances, Gail and her laughter as she spoke with everyone, Hireath’s snarky comments, to Felis and Cossy’s worrying over each other, making sure the other was alright after Cossy’s nightmare or the entire group being awoken to calm the former down. Heinrich wondered what it was like to be so comfortable in a group of people so different from each other. At the end of the day, it didn’t matter, as long as all of them were happy.

        And then the comfortable breakfast was interrupted as the youngest Fischer daughter ran down the stairs, yelling for her father and sister’s help with a fox that had managed to climb through the open windows of her sister’s loft.

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        Gail and Felis had rushed out of the house the first chance they got, promising they’d meet the rest of their friends at the Chuck E. Cheese as soon as they were done. The pink haired of the duo had promised she’d help Felis pick out a good gift for Cossy in time, he just didn’t expect her to wait until the day they planned to celebrate. Then again, Gail always had an odd way of getting things done and never let Felis down when it came to helping him navigate his feelings for Cossy.

        The ride to the mall was almost as eventful as the morning had been, at some point one of them had turned on the radio and neither could help but sing along, whether they remembered the words or not. Then, they’d ended up passing the mall twice, getting distracted by whatever song they were singing or money making scheme they had come up with. On top of missing the mall, finding a parking spot ended in them almost running into a family that ran in front of them, only missing them by a hair before finally getting a parking space and rushing into the mall before anything else could happen.

        “Alright, Gail where are we going?” Felis turned to the girl next to him, unsure of where to even start.

        “Hmm, Let’s see, oh! That jacket Cossy’s been looking at everytime Mycena takes us shopping? Oh wait.. I think Mycena and Sibylle got him that and some clothes to match it..” She muttered, looking around as she thought

        “Maybe some cooking stuff?” She shouted, pointing towards a few houseware outlets.

        Felis thought for a moment. He knew Cossy would like that but he wanted it to be more special, something Cossy would smile at the same way he smiled at him. “What did you get him?”

        “Oh.. about that that’s part of why I came with you, I know what I’m gonna get him I just forgot to get it!” Gail sheepishly admitted, pulling out her phone to check what store she needed to head to.

        “We can head there first, I think I have a few ideas.”

        The duo continued their adventure into the mall, passing the clothing stores they’d gone to with Mycena a few weeks ago and the craft shop Sibylle had begged them to stop by on their first group mall trip. One shop caught Felis’s eye when they’d nearly reached the shop Gail was heading towards. None of the trips they’d taken had brought them in the shop but every time, Cossy would stop just for a moment and look at everything. A photography shop, Felis knew he liked photography, he just wasn’t sure how much, but remembering how his boyfriend had looked at the displays, maybe this was the gift he was looking for.

        “Hey Gail! I’ll meet you back at that pretzel place in the food court, I think I found what I wanna get Cossy!”

        Before giving her time to react, Felis headed into the shop and began looking for the best camera they had. That’s when he realized these were all too expensive to buy on the spot.. The only way he’d actually be able to buy it today without spending what he and Gail had made from their sandwich scheme was actually taking up Mycena’s offer to spend a bunch of her money to make sure this party went great. Felis sighed as he called the smallest of the group, hoping she wouldn’t put him on speaker.

        “Hi Felis!” Mycena’s high pitched voice came through the phone, he could hear Cossy in the background, playing with whichever of Mycena’s cats was by them.

        “Hey, um… how opposed to buying a really expensive camera would you be?” He whispered, hoping she wouldn’t blurt anything out and ruin the surprise for Cossy.

        Silence was all that came through the phone until he heard a door shut.

        “Text me how much and then… check your card balance and you owe me so much pineapple juice, Felis.” The serious tone at the end of that sounded nearly threatening if it wasn’t coming from Mycena Amanita, the kindest person any of them knew. However, she’s very serious about her pineapple juice so best not to get her bad side for that deal.

        “You got it boss, thanks, um.. What’s he up to?”

        “Playing with Max and Luci and Pineapple and Bink bonk too! Bye bye Felis, I’ll tell him  you said hi,” With that, the call ended, leaving Felis chuckling, questioning why that girl names her cats these things.

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        They had time to waste until the rest of the group got here and Heinrich showed up with the cake, so, as always, the two were ready to be the bane of every child in the building’s existence. Sibylle never really cared about games, she cared more for drawing and making people’s day worse. Hireath was near the same but she adored making children mad, especially these two kids that were always there when the group was.

        Both were shorter than average kids that never left Hireath and Sibylle alone, even though Mycena babysat them and begged them to leave her friends be. Though, now, it has turned into more of Hireath and Sibylle messing with them, only for Myce to start begging them instead of the children. There was just something about the brats that pissed the duo off, maybe it was Hireath’s general need to be a public menace or Sibylle loving to take up Mycena’s attention.

        “Hey, brat move. We wanna play,” Hireath grinned at the two in front of them, watching as the smaller of the pair backed behind its friend.

        “Back off, we were here first Hireath!” The older of the kids, Mossy, barked back at her, turning back to its game as the brunette joined them.

        “Too bad, you’ve had your turn now shoo.”

        Sibylle watched the children run off and joined Hireath as they went from game to game, waiting for the rest of their friends to arrive. Neither was sure when it had turned into a competition to get the most tickets, but at some point, they’d found themselves racing around the arcade for games to beat the other at or were easy ways to get more tickets.

        An hour went by before they’d even realized Gail and Felis had been here, waiting at a table as the two ran around, only joining them to set down their jackets and some tickets before heading back to their competition. About 150 tickets later, Heinrich showed up with the cake and █████. The pair giggled as they walked past Hireath and Sibylle, gesturing for them to join them at the table with the rest of the guests.

        “How much do you wanna bet Mycena gives all those tickets to Cossy later?” Hireath muttered, taking a seat across from Sibylle.

        “If she does, that’s up to her but she’d be adorable for it no matter what.”

        A collective sigh came from the group, all but Heinrich, who sat chuckling at his daughter and her endless love for that girl.

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        Cossy sighed, squeezing his eyes shut as his best friend dragged him along. Mycena made him promise to keep his eyes closed until they got inside this place and as much as he thought it was kind of fun, he hated not knowing where they were going. Especially with all the chatter and noise the building she’s dragged him into was filled with.

        Following along, Mycena steered him through what he’d guess was a crowd, stopping at a quieter area that reeked of cheap pizza and… was that cake? It smelt like cake, but he couldn’t be sure.

        “Mycena, can I open my eyes yet?”

        “Hm… not yet! Just stay right where you are though, and I’ll tell you when!”

        Cossy sighed, listening to the soft chatter around him while he waited. Before Mycena had told him he could open his eyes, singing emerged from in front of him as he opened them to see the people he called home.

        “Happy birthday Cossy!”

        He was shocked, they’d done all this just for him? There was a delicious looking cake in front of him, all his friends around him, a questionably huge pile of prize tickets and even presents. He didn’t get it, why had they done all this?

        Before he could find himself crying, Felis pulled him back to reality, leading him to the seat next to him and placing a couple party hats on both their heads.

        “Alright, guest of honor, what do you wanna do first? Pizza? Cake? Games? Presents?” Felis smiled at him softly as he waited for a choice. Really, Cossy would be fine just sitting here with him and their friends, but if he had to choose..

        “Cake first, maybe no pizza it kinda smells like fake pizza in here and then presents?” Cossy mumbled, looking away from his boyfriend’s adorable smile before he ended up staring at it the entire time.

        Giggling emerged from Gail and Mycena, watching the two sneak glances at the other as Heinrich cut everyone a piece of cake. Whether they were scheming or just happy for their best friends, Cossy would never know. He didn’t have much time to think about it anyways since his slice of cake was slid in front of him and Felis had already started talking to him.

        “What did you and Mycena get up to today anyways?”

        “We went to visit Ileine, he wanted to spend some time with me today but um… I’m assuming that was part of everyone’s plan to keep this a surprise?”

        Felis chuckled, leaving Cossy in awe as he listened to him speak.

        “Surprisingly enough, no, that wasn’t part of the plan. Mycena just wanted to tag along in case Ileine almost told you or ended up keeping you all day, don’t worry about it.”

        Their conversation went on as they ate, one of the pair always leaving the other watching with a smile on their face. Felis told him about the adventure he and Gill ended up having, Hireath and Sibylle butting in to explain their Mossy and Creature fiasco that wasn’t really a fiasco, and Cossy telling his boyfriend all about he and Mycena’s time with Ileine earlier. He could do this all day, talk to Felis, that is. He was a great listener and talker on top of being so lovable.

        “Oh, um.. Do you wanna go ahead and open your presents real quick? We can keep talking after it’s just that I think you’re gonna really like all of them so,” Felis smiled, stacking all the plates together as he waited for an answer.

        “Oh! Right, yeah.. Um… which one do you all want me to start with?” Cossy muttered, a little overwhelmed, it looked like each of them had gotten him something. They didn’t have to do that, really.

        Noticing the look in her best friend’s eyes, Mycena hopped up from her place across from him and handed over one of the presents. Probably from Sibylle considering the scribbled words on the card, Cossy couldn’t quite make it out so he settled for grinning and nodding towards her before taking everything out of the gift bag.

        It was the jacket he had been looking at weeks ago.. Cossy had been wanting it but just didn't have any clothes that would make it look good. Before he could thank Sibylle, he noticed the other clothes in the bag, the exact ones Mycena had told him would go well with that jacket. It was weird, as far as he knew, Sibylle didn’t really care for him at all, why’d she go and get him a gift?

        “Don’t give me that look, just ‘cause I don’t show I care doesn’t mean I’m not getting you a birthday present, you can be all sappy about it later.” She waved him off, leaning back in her chair as she doodled in her sketchbook.

        Cossy and Mycena’s quiet laughter went unnoticed as Gail sheepishly handed over the big box for him. Surprisingly, it wasn’t that obvious this one was from Gail, he thought maybe it was from Hireath or maybe Mycena, she was usually a go big or go home kind of gifts person. Opening the box, Cossy was greeted with tons of cat themed baking utensils. They were adorable, and he couldn’t wait to use them, even if it was just to make treats for everyone here right now.

        “Thank you Gail, these are adorable.” The boy grinned, giving the heterochromic girl a huge hug as a thank you.

        “Any time, Cossy. I thought you’d find them cute plus Felis wasn’t there to argue over which ones were cuter!” She chuckled, gently smacking the top of Felis’s head as she spoke before returning to her seat beside him. Only for the pair to start bickering immediately.

        Mycena hopped back up from her seat, grabbing a taller box from the presents, placing it in front of Cossy. A Build-a-Bear box? There were a million things it could be and with how unpredictable Mycena was when it came to gifts, there was no telling what it was. Careful not to break the box, the taller one opened it, staring at the stuffed animal it held. That’s why Mycena was asking what his favorite eevee evolution was last week.

        The stuffed animal in the box was an umbreon, taking it out of its box, Cossy grinned, hugging it only for the sound box in it to go off. Laughter and shouts of “We love you Cossy!” brought him to tears, he didn’t expect this at all. When did she even get everyone to Build-a-Bear for this? The tears wouldn’t stop falling. He loved his friends so much and this was such a small gesture but it moved him so much.

        “Wh- Cossy, don’t cry..” Mycena’s voice softened as she hugged him. Cossy knew she didn’t mean to make him cry, and they weren’t sad tears anyways, it was just unexpected and he loved it so much.

        “No! No it’s fine Mycena, they’re happy tears. I just,” a sniffle interrupted him as he returned the hug. “It’s just that I didn’t expect it, any of this really. Thank you, I love it and I love you guys so much, you mean the world to me.”

        He barely noticed when Felis and Gail joined the hug, Hireath following behind them. She wasn’t one for hugs so she settled for just patting Cossy on the back, and that was fine by him. The tears only stopped when he’d ended up sneezing, causing everyone to back away as giggles emerged from their group.

        Cossy decided he’d pick the next present, a smaller box with a note from Heinrich on the tag. A thank you for being friends with Mycena and Sibylle, hanging out with █████, and a happy birthday wish from both him and the youngest of the people gathered around the table. Turning over the note, he noticed a sentence written on the back, scribbled down in glitter ink. “Your gift from me is my silence and general not here-ness during this party, you’re welcome. From, █████ Fischer.”

        Chuckling at the note, Cossy opened the box. It was nearly filled to the brim with cat toys and treats, all for his pet, Max. The cat had ended up either losing or wearing out all his previous toys and Cossy just never had the chance to get him new ones. Max was going to love these, and he couldn’t wait to show him all of it.

        “Thank you, Heinrich, Max is going to love these. And thank you █████ for your gift too.” Cossy smiled at them both, placing the box with the other opened gifts.

        Only two were left unopened. He didn’t know which to open first, the smaller present or the one clearly from Felis. Maybe he’d leave Felis’s for last, he wanted to save it, maybe just so he could spend the time watching his boyfriend’s smile. So, Cossy settled for opening the small gift first. A small leatherbound notebook with symbols etched into it and a note on the inside of the cover. Hireath’s handwriting was familiar to him, they’d shared class notes all the time and too often, Hireath would toss notes to Cossy in the middle of class. The only thing is, he couldn’t tell what this was for.

        “Hireath, what is this?” He examined the small notebook as he waited for her response.

        “You wanted me to teach you about all the witchy stuff I get up to, so that’s where we’re going to start. We can stop by Mycena’s shop this weekend and get some stuff,” She grinned at him. A smile was always rare from Hireath, and she rarely ever admitted they were friends.

        A grin broke out from Cossy’s confusion as he sat down the book to hug her. To everyone’s surprise she returned it. Before the moment could last any longer, Hireath shrugged him off and directed him towards the final present, Felis’s present. Really, Cossy didn’t need any gift from him, Felis being with him was a gift he would take over any others.

        Cossy was careful not to accidentally tear the bag like he had with any of the other gifts, he wanted to hold onto this one most of all. He noticed Felis watching him as he took each thing out of the bag, a bunch of embroidery patches, a small bag, a photo album, and a heavier than expected box. The patches were the letters of his name, Callisto, and a small star shaped one as well. What he’d put them on right now, he wasn’t sure. Before he opened the box, he turned and placed a kiss on Felis’s cheek, a preemptive thank you for the gifts. Leaving Felis to sit there staring at him, Cossy opened the box, staring down at the camera it held.

        “Oh, Felis, you didn’t.” He turned, hugging the man next to him.

        “I did, you kept stopping whenever we walked by so.. I got you the best camera I could find, even if Mycena paid for it.” Felis snickered, returning the hug and the kiss from only moments before.

        “The camera's all situated so you can use it whenever you want. I just wanted to get it situated in case you wanted to take pictures now?” The small smile on his face only melted Cossy’s heart.

        Before he could get lost in staring at Felis, Cossy turned on the camera and headed over to a spot where he could see the people he considers his family. Each of them were watching him, waiting to see what he was up to, only for Cossy to snap a picture as █████ ended up throwing a napkin at her sister’s face, in turn causing chaos across the group. Cossy wouldn’t have it any other way though, after all, this is why he loved them all so dearly. There was never a dull moment with them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

        Sitting on his bed, Cossy had finally printed out the pictures from that party. Each one of the people he called family. The second picture he’d taken was of Mycena and Hireath arguing over some kind of flower, another of Felis and Gail scheming, Heinrich and █████ heading over to some games, and Sibylle sketching out someone, likely Mycena. That was around when Gail had ended up taking the camera from him. He didn’t really mind though, he wanted to sit with Felis for a bit. He loved him so much and the camera was such a perfect gift.

        Huh. He didn’t remember Gail taking this picture. It was of him and Felis staring into each other’s eyes. Cossy never realized how the way they looked at each other looked from the outside, but he loved it. If he had any doubts that Felis loved him just as much, this photo took all those away. Felis was looking at him like he was the only person in the world. And it felt a little selfish, but Cossy, quite frankly, wouldn’t have it any other way.

        The next photo was one of he and Mycena fiddling around with the Build-A-Bear’s accessories and Sibylle sitting next to them, playing with Mycena’s hair. Sibylle didn’t seem to like Cossy all that much but she tolerated him, for her. Anyone that would do that much for Mycena was good in his book. Especially considering she never intended to actually hurt his feelings.

        One of the last photos he’d printed out was another of Felis and himself, this time, the kiss they’d shared before everyone was getting ready to head home. Maybe he understood why Gail and Mycena were always giggling over the pair, they were pretty cute when they were like this. Cossy smiled at the photo, reaching for a pen as he flipped over the photo. Scribbling down on the back of the photo, Cossy smiled down at the note.

        “I love you, Felis.”

        The last photo taken, he didn’t even remember. He knew █████ was helping carry everything to Heinrich’s car, just not that she had taken a photo of everyone on the walk out. Mycena and Cossy were running ahead of everyone, laughing over something he couldn’t remember. Felis and Gail were following behind them with Hireath, each waving their hands around, likely arguing over something. A little closer to the camera, Heinrich and Sibylle were following behind everyone, as always, so clearly father and daughter.

        Cossy loved everyone in the photo so dearly. Mycena was the best friend he could ever ask for. Felis was in all honesty, the love of his life. Gail was an amazing friend, even if she wasn’t the brightest at day. Hireath was one of his first friends and that meant so much to him. Even Heinrich and Sibylle, despite not being close with either, loved them too. Heinrich was like a father to him, always looking out for Cossy when he was over and Sibylle, despite not really talking to him, cared about him because Mycena cared about him, and that was alright with him. Every single one of them, Cossy loved them so dearly and wouldn’t know where he would be as a person without them.

[ur-mousey]

Confessional ~

Verse 1

  "I clung to your hands

      so that something human might exist in the chaos."

-      Hèlène Gixous, from "Olivier De Serres- A Single Passion Two Witnesses," Love Itself: In the Letter Box (Polity Press, 2008)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

* Ingrid *

It is in the wind, and the rocks, and within the waves. It is the echo of the lost places of our soul's past and our grief for them. Hiraeth n.(Welsh) A spiritual longing for a home which maybe never was. Nostalgia for ancient places to which we cannot return. It is nowhere and it is everywhere. And it is the place in between where I belong. 

It's 1992, and I have longed for eleven years. I counted the waves rolling back into the sea, ten times over, each year on my birthday. And when this September 9th comes, I'll join my mother and sisters in their songs under the full moon's cast. I'll put my lips to wine and drown myself with seafoam. Who dares to follow will be welcomed in my embrace because a home deserves its people. And I'm terrified of being alone.

There was a place I once called home, far over the ocean's horizon. Where women gathered without their men but with their daughters. I grew up there, blessed and loved by all. A spark of blonde whisps that bounded to and fro. And all of the new women that came kissed the ground that I'd walked on with bare feet. Their pasts were unknown to me from places unseen by me. I only knew of the isle. And what a massive landscape it was. 

There was one structure on the island. Crafted from the love of the land, untouched by most humans. A cathedral that shifted from left to right, and inside out to outside in. It had wondering feet that escaped people's sights. No one room kept its original spot or had doors that entered it along the same wall used before. Things disappeared when needed most and reappeared at whim but were never bound to be found where it was last seen. Lavish decor cycled through stages of novelty. Some became impoverished too quickly while others flourished gold under the sun's gleam. The women made it a game to hunt the sly-footed cathedral down with offerings in hand. They wanted to be in God's favor.

However, it was quite elusive.

But, not to I who was welcomed within its halls, guided where my heart desired. 

If overcome with fatigue from my embarkment then there would be a frilly white canopy bed awaiting my lax body where I'd burry my face into the scratchy tuff of my beloved lion plush, Leo. He accompanied me to all places unfit for Mother to venture. If I were joyful, there would be a room of porcelain dolls and a play mansion. My imagination would run amok of what men's courting a woman should look like. At the time, I wanted to be swept off my feet like that. They'll have a different gait and stride based on what the other women gossiped over, that I've yet to see for myself. They'll praise women in woeful pain knowing profound art would be on the other side. And, when men are not needed, they'd take it. 

When I didn't know where to go, I'd wander the halls with Leo to a shallow pool where I'd find my friend, the octopus. He would splash water on my face, tentacles curling around my arm to keep me upright in water up to my chin. He even taught me to swim before my mother could.  

I was only six, a being filled with imagination. He could've been imaginary, yet he felt real to me. He was my home. He taught me much. But as I had once imagined men, I wonder if I'd return to meet him, and he would be the cruelest of them all.

. . . . . .

Sister Grace Marie never saw my appearance as 'conducive' to the church. No matter where I walked on campus, I felt her beady-eyed stare up my fucking skirt. I wore the shitty uniform; unbuttoned at the collar: plaid blue skirt hiked to the cup of my ass: my frizzy mane contained in a messy ballet bun: and I was on my best behavior half of the time. I prayed at each meal that Koen would fuck off and finish last. I attended classes with little bite back because there would be nowhere to go if expelled. Then there was the bible I kept tucked between my thighs when I sat, noted and highlighted from years locked in this place. Though, with all that combined, it doesn't hide how shit-faced one can get before confessional.

"Sister got her eyes on you~" Annika singsonged into my ear.

I replied, "She must have the fattest crush on me." The pews were stocked full with herds of other students, one by one entering the booth to confess their mortal sins.  

Annika giggled alongside me, tapping eagerly at my knee. "Ingrid, hear me out. We sneak off to the shore tonight. Maybe we'll spot that wretched island of yours."

"It won't show," I whispered. "It doesn't like washed-up whores like you." I smothered kisses along the curve of her nose and hung off her shoulders. I glanced at Sister Grace Marie who scowled at the display. Her face puffed and reddened like an apple I wished to bite.

"So, is it a no to sneaking out?" 

I turned to Annika humming a tune of the isle. I longed for the lute to wash over the melody as the procession of drums amounted to greater heights, bouncing off the cave walls. Women had danced to this song and sung it to their children in the early hours in the vegetable field. Women sang this song each summer solstice and when children were blessed by their first bleed. It was a song of pure womanhood, which only I bear. And I kept it locked in a safe, buried behind my rib cage, scared that it'd be taken away from me. I was seldom aware that my home no longer existed outside of my body.

"I would go anywhere with you. And out of this damn church." I slouched further sideways into Annika's warmth, now subjected to the organ's melancholy praise to the lord "If I could show you my home, I would. You would love it there. Anyone would have. There were no rules to be broken. We shared everything. Love, experiences- it was a true home." 

"It's not like the rumors?"

I shook my head, "Nothing at all like it. Everyone here's a pansy."

Annika's fingers scratched at my scalp, "You talk fondly of the Isle that it's hard to believe that... they all died. My aunt got caught up in it. I do wonder if she had felt the same as you."

"We all felt the same." 

"But, you were six!  When are you going tell everyone your story?"

I tsked, glancing over my shoulder at Sister Grace Marie who motioned for me to sit up. "Right after I confess to the priest that I had homosexual thoughts about a certain nun." 

. . . . . .

I never quite liked enclosed spaces. 

Even the Isle's cathedral expanded similar to lungs with each trepid step. I had a whole island to explore. And I slept in tents made of thin white sheets, blown open for all the women to gather inside. We slept together, rarely with the need to be alone. And the moon showed himself full of elation, never shrouding us in darkness due to his lust for the sun who loved him back dearly. We were blessed and truly loved. We were beings truly protected by god. 

Wild foxes set up camp on our doorsteps and followed us younglings to the bathroom. While fluffy feathered owls perched across the woodlands, hunting for tomorrow's breakfast. They protected the land while my friend, the octopus, controlled the winds and the waves.

Confessionals started in a box. 

This one had one hundred and sixteen mini-decorative crosses carved into the exit. The number never grew or fell short with each season I found myself here -autumn being my favorite. I could imagine myself cosplaying a true believer in repentance. "Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been four months since my last confession. These are my sins." I halfheartedly recount while my knee bounced to the pace of my heart. 

"I think of myself defected," I begin.  My thumb ached around the ridges of my teeth. I have spoken more than I cared to admit. Might keep it going. "God doesn't exist here... As a child, he was everywhere -wherever I walked, green followed. Since I came here, he has forsaken me. I believe God hates me because I'm not pure of the mainland. I should be on the island. Now, I drink myself stupid. I'm not a whore but close to it. At least Sister thinks it. I've stolen, cussed, and been to the cops countless times. Even before I committed my first crime...

And, when I think about that, I get violent. I haven't acted on it, yet, but I want to -so badly- crush the skulls of those around me. Do you know what they call me, Father? Not only am I a daughter with no actual father but I am a Satanic Princess. The Seaside reject, ha. And you Catholics act so above it all. So my sin, I don't believe in your God."

A beat of silence came before a heavy sigh. "Child, God hears you now. He's within this room and as a servant of God, I listen and understand. This is the first that you've ever spoken so earnestly here. We are proud of you. You say God hates you, yet you're the sole survivor of that Island, I'll beg to say he loved you the most. He spared you of their fate."

"Hmm, you say that." I wilt into the heaviness of my head. "But, I hate it here. It's suffocating. I'd rather be where they are -wherever that is."

"Would you do as they did?"

I thought about it. "No"

"Why?"

"I'm afraid that they'll cast me out. Or that I wouldn't find them on the other side. Especially if I die here. It's terrifying... trying to take your own life."

"You are a vessel of God. You entered and will exit at his will if you so choose. They were lost and committed a grave sin. And at his divine ordainment, he brought you to us. Your life was spared. You are devout, but you will always be split between the Isle and here. Could you accept that?"

I thought about it. No.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Thank you for reading! Request rules are here! Follow my ig = lil.thoughts.xo!

This story will be updated on Wattpad at least once a month. The first three chapters will be uploaded on my blog in its entirety. But, to read the full thing, head over to my Wattpad down below. Wattpad = @ calypssee, #second.thoughts

An A03 version will be made in the future.

[writingamongther0ses]

STS woah! Happy STS! My question to you... is there any super old architecture in your worlds at all? Or any notable places at all? Tell me about buildings, basically, would love to hear about some cool buildings :)

Ooh, the first thing that comes to mind is the Emerald Palace in Oz in Hireath!

The Emerald City and palace were built with the help of the Nome people, marble and emerald together, and are centuries old. If someone were to guess, the palace seems to have started out looking like an English castle from the early medieval period. Over the years, as the Pastoria line soaked in more and more fae, more was added to the place, including a truly staggering amount of secret passages that used fae trickery. The Wizard used some of the passages to help his illusions, but the only one who truly knows the full layout is Ozma "Tip" Pastoria.

[alexander-arcturus-black-lupin-r]

Hiraeth

In this case it's the literary world we indulge ourselves in. We live and experience everything till we pertain a sense of comfort. It becomes our home. But how can we return to a home that never was and never will exist outside of our minds and our books

[everdeenxmellark]

“somewhere in germany but I can’t place it,

man i hate this part of texas.

close my eyes, fantasise

three clicks and i’m home”

- i know the end

[blueberry-ovaries]

HIRAETH

A/N: hello! welcome to my first fic! Just a preface that this story is a work fiction based on the HBO adaption and not on the real easy company men, who fought like heros. Winifred Hayes is a work of my own imagination based on facts of history and battles. This fic is no way meant to disrespect or disregard the sacrifice men and women who fought in the war.

please let me know if you wish to be added to the tag list!

Story Warnings: Swearing, violence, sexism, inaccurate recounting of history (warnings will be at the start of chapters as well!)

visuals

playlist

prologue: The story of Winifred Hayes

chapter one: Hell is a sandy town in North Africa

chapter two: Maybe Hell is a large mountain in Toccoa, Georgia

chapter three: Broken noses are a great conversation starter

chapter four: Bold faced lies and cigarettes

chapter five: Making friends with the resident grump

[tree-n-tea]

hireath.

and just for a second i close my eyes.

it's just a dream.

the wind passes me by;

come to realize, i've already blown away.

the light dissipates from my pupil; everything that i have seen.

i look at my hand and see veins crawling for an escape.

i lean to touch the air to remember where i am.

their words float away; stands of hair blown astray.

and i am here, struggling to reinstate.

with closed throats, my veins scream the sound of an alarm.

they cry, "remember you are awake."

but i am far away.

like another reminder of how far i can float.

just please, oh please don't try and wake me.

[lynbelisle]

Hiraeth: The Face at the Edge of a Dream

In the Welsh language, there is a word that comes close to conveying the idea of the last traces of a dream fading away: “hiraeth.“ (“Hiraeth” is pronounced as HEERaiyth in English phonetics.) “Hiraeth” is often described as a deep longing or yearning, particularly for something that is lost or unattainable, which can be linked to the fading remnants of a dream. There is no word in English that…

[postcardsfromheapside]

It is true. It's the heartache of leaving a home you never actually knew.

Anytime you finish lotr or the hobbit it’s the loneliest most gut wrenching desolate feeling in the world lmao. 100% meant this to sound that dramatic because it’s true. Frodo sailing off or Bilbo letting Gandalf in the door and it showing the lonely mountain map. My heart sinks every time.

[confusedgeckotree]

Tfw I do not trust planes in the slightest but we don't wanna drive and there are no good train routes between Ohio and Oregon last I checked ;-;

I just wanna go on a train for once in my life!!! That's ALL I ask for!!!! A single train!!!!! Please!!!!! I NEED to play Red Signal on a train!!!!!

Man...

[dirtyrobber70]

... put on a little Emily Lou and our dancing shoes tonight...

[hiraeth-if]

DEMO (TBD) | INTROS | PLAYLIST | PINTEREST

Hiraeth is an 18+ supernatural mystery, that explores the complexities of love, loss, and the unshakable pull of home, set against the backdrop of a town shrouded in mystery and darkness.

You’ve built a successful career, started a new life, and finally found your place among new friends, miles away from the small town you once called home. But just when you thought you’d left that life behind, your brother calls in a panic—your mother has died suddenly in her sleep. Now, you’re forced to return and confront the past you tried so hard to escape.

As you settle your mother’s affairs, long-buried memories and forgotten connections begin to resurface. Your home town has always felt off, but it turns out to be steeped in unsettling mysteries that seem to revolve around your family, pulling you into a dark web of supernatural forces and ancient secrets. With each discovery, the line between your family’s past and the town’s fate becomes more blurred, and the closer you get to the truth, the more dangerous it becomes.

Can you unravel the truth behind your mother’s death, navigate the town’s strange supernatural forces, and maybe even find love amidst the chaos? Or will the town’s dark pull consume you before you can save yourself—or anyone else?

Content warnings include: explicit language, sexual themes, substance use, violence, death, grief, trauma, and possible unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Design Your MC: Customize everything from your character’s name, appearance, clothing style, living situation, to their sexuality and gender identity. Tailor your MC to fit your vision.

Career Choices: Choose from 5 distinct jobs—Artist, Writer, Teacher, Private Investigator, or Bartender—each with unique scenes, stats effects, and side characters to interact with, influencing how you approach the town’s mysteries and the bonds you build.

Curate Your Personality: Shape how your MC reacts to the strange events of Hiearth, from calm and collected to impulsive and emotional. Your choices will influence how other characters view and interact with you.

Romance Options: Develop deep, meaningful relationships with 1 of 4 love interests, including your childhood best friend, your ex, a mysterious new comer, or the son of the town's most powerful family. Pursue solo or poly relationships, each with its own layers and dynamics.

Explore and Discover: As you dig into the town’s dark past and your own forgotten memories, you'll encounter supernatural elements, ancient family secrets, and long-buried powers that shape your destiny.

Branching Narratives: The choices you make don’t just affect you—they can mend or break relationships with other characters, help you discover certain clues, or effect the town, altering some of the course of the story.

Niccolo [he/him] – Niccolo, the son of Hiraeth’s most powerful family, is a few years older than you and a figure you’ve only heard about through rumors. Descending from one of the town's founders, his life is defined by privilege, yet wealth and indulgence never seem to satisfy him. He seeks out fleeting thrills—cycling through lovers, dabbling in drugs, or instigating fights—but only art truly captivates him. When he's not out partying, Nicco spends hours in galleries or locked away in his studio, trying to capture the beauty of life that constantly eludes him. His reckless nature is tempered by a charm that’s magnetic, flirty, and dangerous in equal measure, always hiding a deeper restlessness beneath the surface.

Appearance – Nicco has fawn skin, sharp features, and perfectly tousled black curls that add to his hauntingly elegant look. His dark, bottomless eyes exude a mysterious intensity, hinting at a life far older than his years. His style is tailored dark clothing, favoring leather jackets, sleek trousers, and crisp button-ups. Rings and necklaces complete his look, adding to his timeless sophistication, though his polished appearance conceals the chaos that brews just beneath.

Althea [she/her] – New to you and Hiraeth, Althea and her nomadic family recently moved into a once-abandoned apartment building at the town's edge. Their arrived is far from coincidental, and there’s more history between her family and the town than she realizes. Fiercely protective and quick to fight, Althea’s guarded nature hides a deeply loyal, soft side known only to her loved ones. Her sharp reflexes and predatory grace hint at something primal she struggles to control. When not skateboarding, she can be found ice skating at the local rink.

Appearance: Althea has mahogany skin and golden brown eyes that gleam dangerously when angered. Her shoulder-length black hair is styled in a full, natural afro. She favors practical, clothes like baggy tees, crop tops, high-waisted cargo jeans, and flannels, which conceal scars linked to her family's buried secret. Despite her tough style, she carries herself with a quiet elegance, always prepared for whatever comes her way.

Magnus [he/they] – Magnus is your ex, a childhood friend you’ve known since kindergarten and dated in high school. The two of broke up when you left for college, and you haven’t spoken to him since. They now run the Witch’s Brew café, a family business passed down from their mother’s side. When not managing the café, Magnus enjoys thrifting, gardening, and composing music effortlessly. His personality is bubbly and humorous, with a laugh that’s oddly melodic, capable of shifting between playful and reflective moods, always leaving people curious about the depths beneath.

Appearance: Magnus has honey brown eyes, golden skin, and a medium-length wolf cut styled half-up. His gender-neutral style blends earthy tones with pops of color, often wearing crocheted sweaters, embroidered vests, skirts, and loose pants. Their outfits are always paired with vintage jewelry, each with a story to tell. There's an ethereal quality to their appearance, as if they belong to another world, yet they fit perfectly into the one they inhabit.

Elias [he/him] – Elias is your childhood best friend, and like Magnus, you’ve known each other since kindergarten. His family, the MacConnells, have a longstanding rivalry with the mayor’s family, but Elias isn’t concerned with politics. He prefers books, writing, and swimming, which suits his quiet, disciplined nature. When not helping his mother with real estate or attending family events, Elias retreats to his cabin, finding peace in the lake where he feels a deep, ancient connection. Though calm and controlled now, he’s changed from the crybaby you once knew, becoming someone who hides his emotions beneath a serene exterior.

Appearance: Elias has pale cameo skin and long platinum-blond hair, often worn in loose waves. His sharp blue eyes, framed by glasses, add to his studious look. His style is comfortable and put together—Oxford platforms, knit sweaters, oversized sweatshirts, overalls, and well-worn jeans. He always carries a leather canvas bag filled with his many unfinished thoughts and stories.