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Noodles and Teaās work inspired me fr
#phineas and ferb#gravity falls#perry the platypus#bill cipher#crossover#heinz doofenshmirtz#major monogram#great googly moogly#And at this one stand there was this forest service guy#and he was selling these really amazing muffins#they had Dunkleberries and EVERYTHING they looked delicious but they had nuts in them so I didnāt buy them#(Iām not allergic or anything I just think that there is a time and a place where you donāt put nuts in food#like seriously this thing was STUFFED with pecans and I was like thatās gonna ruin the flavor! Pecanā¦. thatās a really weird word you know#like try saying it out loud a couple times. Pecan.. peCHAAANs. Pea-can. hm. hm.#anyway)#but this guy had some other really random junk lying around so I decided to take a look and I actually found something really msyerious!#there was this book with a big ā2ā on it and I couldnāt find the other ones so I was like hey whereās the rest of these and he was like#we already sold them off and I was like WHAT thatās so crazy#like if youāre gonna sell a set of books#WHY would you sell each one separately cuz that would really suck to just like#start in the middle of a series or get hooked and never be able to continue it#and I was pretty wary anyways cuz it looked so CRYPTIC and WEIRD#but he said heād give it to me for 92 cents and baby thatās a STEAL#couldnāt NOT take it#I mean it sat around on my desk for months and I mainly just used it as a paperweight until one night#they stopped broadcasting Americaās Got Talent on my channel and out of SPITE I decided to find a way to defy American Tradition#and read a book#ā¦.what? ohhhh you though I was gonna build an inator over this#no at the time I was already working on a Tuesday Inator that would force every Calendar in the Tri-State area to always have every day#as Tuesday so I could ALWAYS have a discount on tacos! do you know how OVERPRICED those things are when theyāre not on Tuesday?
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sorta not-too-shitty stepdad stan takes tate fishing
(heās that weird guy whoās always with his dad when tate visits on the weekends after his parentsā divorce)
#HIIII PORTAL PARTNERS AU MAKES A COMEBACK !!!!!!!#stan & fidd work together. fidd gets divorced. fidd gets tate on the weekends (they kid-proof the shack & keep him away from the portal ofc)#fidd never goes crazy. stan and fidd are always together.#stan takes tate fishing. tate likes fishing. he grows up to run that bait shop.#when i originally posted abt my version of portal partners somebody on tiktok asked about where tate is in it#and i like to think he keeps a good relationship with his dad in this au :]#& in extension a good relationship with stan#figured i had to draw something about it#stan makes him a little fishing hat btw (just like how he did for mabel & dipper)#i didnāt draw it but his hat says tater on it#anyway#ummm trusty ol instagram stories#i swear iām only drawing things on there recently so all of the stuff iām posting sucks a little bit LOLLLLL#eh#oh well#gravity falls#fiddlestan#(technically)#stanley pines#tate mcgucket#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls au#portal partners au#gravity falls portal partners au#<- thatās what iām calling my version of Stan & Fidd Work On The Portal Together And Become Gay Old Men btw if u didnāt know#my art#rystiart#yeahg. hey guys
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god im really about to force myself to reread my tkg fic bc i heard a song that Took Me Back and then i read the last chapter i posted and forgot i had??? a whole really cool plot???? so. have to endure shit i wrote almost 10 years ago.............
#the worst part is. i now know as an adult how fucking stupid i was as a kid#this writing sucks#i sucked#i thought i was so cool and mature but i was an idiot#and i know the text is gonna reek. of how stupid i was#but i remembered that i made kaneki maul someone so hey. there's that#enduring the bullshit to hopefully write a wrap on this fic i was spontaneously inspired for#no this is not a promise but. i guess it would be nice if it was#time to make notes#i dont actually remember the original ending anymore. i had a really detailled outline on an old laptop but#like i said. its been almost 10 years.....#so anyway. modern me is gonna be writing the ending in a way that i see fit#if i ever. do that#me: write your thesis which is due soon OR.... daydream the conclusion of the anime fic u started when u were in highschool#well. i am still that kid deep down bc boy do i love to Not do my work
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im going into my new work tomorrow, first time everš
#i was supposed to go in yesterday but um#so basically i did whatever training i was never even aware existed on a platform i was never told of#which has progress for every lil step i do so my manager literally could see i hadnt even logged on n couldve warned me any time#but never did 4 some reason. like even a days notice like heyyy have u gotta blah done n not as im abt to exit to work#BUT ANYWAYS so i tell her i got it done n shes like awesome i make new schedule (since she said we have 2 completely rid the old one#i dont get an update until 4 days later. all she did was add THREE training days (im supposed to have 6 cus it's a hard job)#on TOP of my old schedule. so i have 3 days i know are training days and then a solo day bcs that solo day was going off my old schedule#so it's like. which days do i go on then. bcs u said i cant come in at all bcs we'll have to make a completely new schedule#and then the new schedule is just. 3 added days. on top of my old one#sunday i was scheduled for training & there was No trainer scheduled with me. it was just me#sunday wasnt one of the 3 new days added. it was from the old schedule she literally told me to ignore#n then all a sudden today i get an email from someone who was supposed to be training me (name not even on the schedule tho)#n shes like hey im in the building are u lost or smthing :)?' mind u im asleep . so she probably thot she was wasting her time for a good hr#i emailed her an apology n an explanation but UGH r u fucking serious?? IF I KNEW THAT WAS A (NEW) TRAINING DAY I WOULDVE WENT#I JUST WANT TO GET USED TO THIS NEW THING & IT'S JUST GETTING FUCKED LIKE I DONT EVEN HAVE A BADGE YET BRO#like i was suspicious of going in sunday bcs it wouldve lined up nicely with the 3 added training days#but manager TOLD me she was adding a whole new training schedule! i double check n all she added were THREE days! thats it!#how was *i* supposed to know sunday was supposed to be 1 of those days when ive been staying at home ignoring the schedule u said 2#BCS U SAID 2. AND ALSO. THERE WAS NO TRAINER ON THE SCHEDULE.#even tho the drive is far. i wouldve driven up there today to see if i could shadow if i had known there was someone to shadow there#bcs even if i was wrong abt the day 2 come in at least i wouldnt waste my time but i didnt even know if there was someone there with a#trainer title. so i just missed a day i didnt even know i rlly had. FOR NOTHING. UGHH. I FEEL SO STUPID. I HATE MISCOMMUNICATION#im so scared of coming in now. sverybodys gonna think im dum n what if i have issues training then theyre gonna be like#we spent all this time on bro n he had all this time 2 prepare n he still sucks like damn we should just give up#i would 2 but i hate not seeing things to completion so. ugh. hate it here. idk what 2 say. EMBARRASSING#i hate miscommunications i hate feeling stupid
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take me to the drafts where all my drabbles went to die
#Ėā š ą£Ŗmaecrosoft !#hey guys ! i have ideas and no words !#i want to rb fics and write so so bad but i absolutely Suck at being on the World Wide Web as of late#anyways please do know that im cheering all my moots works even if im too drained to comment#yall are so talented always#SMOOCH !
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Sometimes I forget Princess Peach Showtime exists actually. Like it's not bad it's just so disconnected from the rest of the series plot and genre wise I kind of just. Forget it happened???? Like we as a fandom do not bring it up at all chcbcbxbsfg.
#bro i wanted mario to secretly be in it SO bad š I don't think he is#it's cute! i've seen a good chunk of it i never did get around to finishing it#definitely baby game but baby game in the baby game series isn't a bad thing it's just not my thing#sucks i wanted that game to be my thing so bad cjcjcnxjdndndnfnsfg#OH i want to clarify i didn't want mario in jt in a āI can't consume content without my Blorbo and i want it to be about himā sense i mean#it would have been a nice treat but also i think it would have connected back to the main series more if Mario was secretly kidnapped#or something like that ie original Luigi's Mansion#CAUSE LOOK Luigi's Mansion is one of my favorite games and it's VERY disconnected from the main series until it's NOT#because there are Boos and Bowser jumpscare and Mario is also there#it works to explore new shit while keeping everything coherent#like it feels like a mario game lmfao#and who knows Luigi's Mansion was also originally faced with the same criticism and now it's a cult classic so dndnxbxbdbdf#who knows! i just think it could have tied back to mario more it kind of just feels like it's own thing and āHey Princess Peach is here!ā#like even her voice is different???? which was a choice??? cause i don't see that voice in any other new game??#correct me if i'm wrong i haven't seen jamboree yet
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Everybody say hello to Kass! š
I've been wanting to do one of these OC template things for a while, and it really helped me solidify Kass's character :>
template used is [here], squadmate pics are taken from their wiki pages
I may or may not have made this partly to avoid going to Virmire lololol
#i don't have the time or energy to write anything atm so i figured kass could have this much at least fkjglhdkjgh#maybe i'll do an me2 version also when i get that far š who knows......#i also wanna do one for morrigan but that's WAY more work than my sleepy ass can do rn dflfkghdkj#kassandra shepard#commander shepard#femshep#mass effect#make a shepard that isn't a biotic challenge failed#make a character that isn't purple themed challenge also failed š#but hey! i know how to mod the game now! i had a very specific hairstyle in mind for kass so it was Required#the vanilla hairs....kinda suck lfdkjghdlg
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throwback to that time i was telling my cousin abt akiraĀ“s ENTIRE lore and she just went "ok but he still has human limits" to which i replied "do you think i let him keep his HUMANITY???" and laughed dhmfhsfgsjf
edit: dammit, wrong blog dshfdgdshhjdssnm
#oc: akira#west coast#i was probs like 15 at this point#his lore is treating him considerably kinder now btw#old akira was volatile and broody and so *so* lonely but too scared to get close to anyone :3#honestly a vibe but he doesnt quite work like that w the current story#biggest change is he was a good fighter; now he sucks at everything but a shield probably haha#<- which was originally a coping mechanism and representation of his walled off sentiment abt the world etc etc#also hey yall wanna know what caused him? like; as an oc...#bh6 brainrot- but specifically a dark angsty au someone here on tumblr was doing#which later got reposted to pinterest#this is also why blair was originally the one carrying around mushroom potions; she wasnt a fighter!!!!#oh how things have changed <3<3<3#oc talk#berryblu ocs
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ngl gamers, I think I'm gonna inevitably lose to the hormones and depression in the near future XD
Can't bring myself to be active cause I'm using a lot of energy to not vent post all the time. But fuck it, into the tags I go!
#I want NO MESSAGES regarding this. let me just be upset and alone#you spend most of your life trying to not succumb to sick brain but honestly I don't think it's worth it in the long run#my life is for better or worse....decent. but I've lost the drive and happiness to really DO anything a long time ago. like whats the point#the only reason I havent killed myself yet is cause Im too lazy (and dont have access to a gun for a quick getaway)#and I'm saying all this DESPITE having stuff to look forward to in the near future. it's like AUGH whats the POINT IM always gonna suffer#why does mental health take such a toll on ppl. this shit sucks ass. and I still feel excited for things in the future too? somehow?#but I also really want to die so. idk man. idk. maybe if I fall in love with someone then I can be distracted but all my walls are up#what's the point in anything anymore. *I* have to take the steps to improve myself and my situation#and I'd rather die. anyways who wants to make a pact that once we reach 40 we will marry each other#that might be fun#also my brain has gotten so bad that I am literally considering joining a hiking club to get out more and I FUCKING HATE HIKING#but I should probably do something out of my comfort zone to push myself and who knows maybe I will find a new passion#but let me tell you about the anxiety - oh BOY it's starting to act up again. hahahha#ah well sometimes you just need to scream your feelings out in the tags to get a lil clarity from the brain fog#one day I will fucking die/kill myself but for now I'll just try to make the best out of. whatever the hell this stupid life is. *shrug*#(but hey if any professional hitmen are reading this. feel free to. heh. you know ;) )#also I need to get back to art#gotta do my paid work and that one pic I lined months ago. and clay stuff *continues to bed rot another week because hahahahahahaha*#ah I wish I didn't fail all those years ago. then I would be free. I wish I was free#ok goodnight I promised myself that I would do paid work when I wake up tomorrow so hopefully no more migraines -pray emoji-
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yeah that!
#In fact as I understand it having a diagnosis CAN detriment you#Which sucks but hey society#I work with people with mental and physical disabilities and one woman who is like 40 JUST NOW got diagnosed with autism#When like. Shes had assistance with it for years and years. The diagnosis is literally just words on paper#Also I grew up with a licensed therapist who denied anything being wrong with me ever and still does! So just idk#Know yourself and do whatever it takes#Not an art#Talky talky Tuesday
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thinkign about recovery centers i luv Youuuu recovery centers
#my random rc headcanon of the evening is that all-encompassing automatic recovery centers are no longer manufactured because theyre Suck#like they're annoying to configure. do it wrong and you'll either have an rc that doesn't work or an rc that works TOO well#and it just starts pulling dead objects from who knows what part of the world and then it's like. Hey that guy isn't supposed to be here#so they fell out of favor and manual recovery centers (where you have to put their name in) became Wayyyy more popular#which is why we haven't seen an all-encompassing automatic rc since flower destroyed it in bfdi 25#brifdi#thanks for reading! I Have More.#For Another Time Perhaps.
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There are movies about troubled kids, thatās great, but can I have my movie about gifted kids/burnt out gifted kids now. Please.
#Wendyās stuff#idk#gifted kid burnout#gifted kid syndrome#gifted kids#Iām a burnt out gifted kid#as in I still get what the teachers are teaching and Iām still āsmartā#but I donāt have enough motivation to actually do my works anymore#And it sucks#Because hey I understand that ! Hey I know what Iām doing ! Iām not ādumbā or ānot matureā or whatever you think I am !#Also yes a teacher said that#I didnāt turn āstupidā over night ! I Iāve known all this since I was younger already ! Stop treating me like Iām stupid ! Iām not !#Anyway yeah itās frustrating#Especially since in those movies the āgifted kidsā are usually the antagonist#But in most case theyāre not even bad people objectively speaking#and it frustrates me#because suddenly the characters I relate to are villainised and hated by the fandom and people call me weird for liking them#Wendy rambles
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hey
#I don't typically like to vent on mainā¢ but. I have to be honest I haven't been feeling good#my art hasn't felt good enough. none of my personal work feels good enough. and I don't want to get sucked into the mindset of#'all I can draw is fanart because that's all what people like'#I do not want to think like that. I want to be positive and keep making stuff that makes me happy regardless if nobody else truly likes it#but boy howdy is it. getting harder and harder to think positively like that..#and I will say this. this isn't me trying to say 'I'm sad nobody likes my personal art. could you guys pwease like it?'#yes it is discouraging to get 3 - 12 notes on my personal work but. in the end it truly doesn't matter#I despise guilt tripping people into liking/reblogging my work. so I don't ever want to do that#and I want to make sure that these tags don't make people feel that way either#I just. auugh I don't know#I want to say these feelings only last a little while. but I've felt like this on and off for /months/#it also doesn't help that I've been having on-and-off art block#I know for a fact in the end I will be fine. but that's just been my thoughts recently#I do not need affirmations. advice. or to be consoled. i just needed this out of my head^^;#after posting: it also does not help that I've been exhausted physically and mentally for a good while. but hey what can you do#after posting again: I REALLY want to draw just. characters in normal clothing hanging out#I've been really inspired by Ryoko Kui to just. draw my blorbos in casual outfits
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I can't be depressed, I ate vegetables two days in a row
#my mental health is in shambles lol#I haven't left my house in 4 days#i slept in until 1pm today which I haven't done in a while#the earliest i fall asleep is 2am#im fucking exhausted#it's so fucking hard to get myself to do anything#my brain won't even let me watch the Olympics even though ive been looking forward to the skateboarding competition#this shit is annoying#and it's annoying because i was so confused why this bout of depression happened#but i just got my first normal period after stopping birth control and that shit always fucks me up mentally#and my grandma just fucking died#so yeah not that surprising lol#also my girlfriend is out of town and i was supposed to go with her and it didn't work out so im sure that's not helping my brain feel okay#its just so fucking annoying because i just want to be okay with everything and not break#at least it's not the 'my brain is telling me to kill myself at all hours of the day' type of depression#but this shit still sucks and i hate it#and i don't want to talk with my girlfriend about it because i don't want her worrying about me and i want her to enjoy her time away#and i dont want to talk to my mom about it because actually i dont really know why i dont want to talk to her about it#im gonna be going back to therapy soon so hopefully that shit helps but who knows#anyway brains sucks and grief is weird and hormones are dumb and i miss my girlfriend#but hey at least my brain is letting me eat vegetables again lol#personal
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AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to āmy parents will be madā like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
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its 4 am and well, im not doomscrolling but i have thoughts lol... i should turn them off and go back to sleep
#minhmy rambles#for the record right now im completely fine like. im not gonna let this stupid orange stop me#thankfully im relatively safe in my state and im so so glad for it but y'know. you never know#but yesterday i was busy w work and also loads of other things like Being Sick so didn't have the mental fortitude to keep up w everything#and i think its helped me like. im not gonna dwell on it. i shouldn't. yeah things Suck but id rather live my life day by day and Not/#self-destruct over it. and this is just me as well. ik everyone else is freaking out and you all have a right to. i just have to keep going#like its not me trying to be callous or y'know high and mighty for feeling better over it than others i don't wanna come off like that but.#i just feel safe here in hawaii things obvs still suck like i said and things can get worse esp for us but i feel safe here ill be ok#and i worry for my friends and everyone whose lives are impacted way more strongly than me and have a lot to worry about#like it could just be me being ignorant. or whatever. but i know everything is bad i just can't let it affect me rn#me rambling as if someones gonna read this and judge me so harshly...!!!#but its just the truth. im sad for everyone but i can keep going and so should you. i have so much to live for and if the only reason you/#have now is spite then you should do it. hey maybe someone will successfully kill the guy. instead of missing. but once these 4 years/#of hell are over we won't have him again. it might be even worse then#like in terms of presidential canididates. i know this. but its okay itll be okay#and i cant ask that ppl will adopt the same attitude as me lol i know im an outlier for sure but. its gonna be okay regardless#ill be okay despite being afab poc and Also autistic (ig i shouldn't look to getting a diagnosis yet which sucks..) but i'll Be Okay#and i hope everyone else will be too; in time.
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