#Henry Prentiss

[stillwaitin76]

Thank you for the tag! Since you’re interested in hearing both my headcanons and ocs, here they are! For the characters Peter played:

Joel Cairo:

Ah yes, my blorbo. My scrunkly doo. Now, I don’t exactly see him being a good babysitter. If it isn’t his inherent responsibility, he doesn’t care much. Not to mention, he has temper tantrums like a little kid, so there would be one actual kid and one adult (who has a child’s immaturity). BUT, I feel he would be a pretty good parent. He knows the responsibilities with being a father and would take it on, if he felt like he could settle down. But I do see him being a “girl dad” more. In his words, “Boys are dumb. I should know, I’ve gotten caught up with the dumbest.”

But if you have a little girl, who came from a rough home-life, Joel will pamper and spoil the hell out of her! Besides the pampering, he’d be quite empathetic towards her and any problems or trauma she may face. Also, considering his knowledge on art, she could grow to have a nice academic background. Just be warned, he may teach her how to use a pistol…

Mr. Munsey:

I know this guy was from an unsold pilot but I know for a fact that he would be a great babysitter. He’s surprisingly gentle, despite the grumpy old man exterior. He’d teach the kids how to sculpt (probably with play-dough, as he doesn’t want them to eat his actual clay) and would tell them all kinds of stories from his past jobs. Plus, it’s a package deal! Henry would absolutely help out and would bring their kitten, Hannibal, alongside them.

Now for my lorre-inspired ocs and how they would fare…:

Harold Kaminsky:

Now, I love Harold. He’s one of my favorite ocs, but there’s one thing you have to know about him... He’s a ghost. So, if you’re a human kid and you come across him, you would probably run away before he could even say hello. But if you’re a monster parent looking for someone to babysit your kid, he probably still wouldn’t be your number one pick. He’s got a lack of focus and gets easily distracted. Not to mention, he’s more comparable to a wine aunt. He’ll spill all the tea you didn’t wanna know, but is an absolute blast to hang out with!

Niffty:

(Now, she isn’t exactly a oc. She’s from my rewrite of Hazbin Hotel, @hotter-than-hell-rewrite. But she’s my most recent Lorre oc/parody and I wanted to add her.)

Now Niffty isn’t the most, let’s say… “mentally healthy” soul. She’s kinda similar to the Igor archetype or Dr. Herman, and will do anything that her boss will tell her to do. But, she does love the idea of being a caring housewife figure! She’ll bake the kids cookies, join in on their games, help bandage any injuries they might get, etc. But don’t let her babysit especially impudent kids, they’ll probably make her cry. And don’t let the kids make a mess, for Satan’s sake! There’s a reason she’s a janitor in Hell!

Nikolai Corman:

Finally! We have someone who’s fit to be a babysitter, as that’s his unofficial job! He and his husbands, Clyde and Cornelius are macabre parodies of characters like Mary Poppins and Mrs. Piggle Wiggle. No matter how grumpy Nikolai may seem, he adores the latchkey kids that run around his home. He absolutely teaches the kids how to use the classic Lorre Puppy Dog Eyes™️ and tells them stories and cautionary tales from his motherland. Struwwellpeter anyone? Anyway, he and his husbands are very protective of the kids and are willing to help them with their problems.

(I need to redraw them, it’s been a hot second lol)

this is a silly question but I'm genuinely curious: which lorre characters would make the best babysitters?

LOVE this question.

Short answer: Just about all of them, depending on your views. Here are just a few - join in, folks!

Polo

You'll never have a better organized home once Polo becomes part of it! Particularly skilled at teaching youngsters how to organize jewelry boxes, heirlooms, and other portable items of worth. You've never been so clutter-free! And all with an uncrackable good humor and a smile so sweet, you'll want to keep him forever. Note: Polo is up for adoption; inquire at the agency.

Dr. Herman Einstein

Best at influencing future professions in the realm of reconstructive surgery or as distillery owners, Herman also teaches choice Germanic phrases and the art of leaving a room gracefully if quickly. Plus, you get a two-for-one deal: Herman is accompanied by his jovial pal, Uncle Jonathan, who has a full bag of tricks to amuse and divert your children. You'll never look at your sewing kit the same way again!

Dr. Gogol

A distant relation to Dr. Einstein, call on "Helping Hands" Gogol for the next level of medical profession influence in the surgical realm. His eccentric manner will delight and amaze your children as they learn the latest techniques. Includes field trips for research purposes. Preference given to neighborhoods near gallows. Note: Households must clear a space for Gogol's equipment, which includes a wax effigy - on which to demonstrate surgical techniques, of course.

Colonel Gimpy/The Baron

Are your children interested in the theatrical arts? Call on Colonel Gimpy - he'll get the whole neighborhood of kids learning all sorts of techniques, from the innocent art of misdirection to making amusing owl faces and blowing horns. And for children who prefer the art of gathering and imparting information, Gimpy provides his completely innocuous persona of The Baron. Set your child up with a lifetime of transferable skills!

[a-timely-problem]

overheard at the BAU

Henry: ...Are you my mom's girlfriend?"

Emily: "What?"

Henry: "Are you?"

Emily: "...your parents are still married"

Henry: "...do my parents know that???"

[criminalmindsgonewrong]

henry on the phone: mommy?

jj: is this henry?

henry: yes, of course its henry who else calls you mommy?

jj, looking at emily: uh, no one

[lilliejareau]

Henry: what happens if you wait for Santa on Christmas and he sees you?

Emily: where do you think he gets the elves?

Henry:

Henry: *cries*

JJ: Seriously???

[youbutstupid]

I make these to cope

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

HENRY: What’s that?

EMILY: *sipping an Oreo milkshake* It’s spicy, you won’t like it.

(From Twitter)

[noalarmssnnosurprises]

Editing Jemily photos is the most fun thing in the world. I just made this I can't stop myself 😫

[milfsincrime]

emily: it’s never been more over than it is now

penny: what happened now?

henry: my mom fell asleep without telling her “goodnight”

[flaminghotjareau]

[lesbiantaylorswiftstan]

jemily brainrot hours thinking about jemily taking toddler henry to a pumpkin patch

they drive out to the farm and the weather is absolutely miserable. it's cold and it's wet, but they booked the tickets in advance and henry's been excited about it all week, so they go despite the rain. henry is in his rain jacket and his cute little dinosaur rubber boots, and as soon as they're out of the car, he's splashing around in the mud and getting himself absolutely filthy in the process

jj found out that emily never did this kind of thing as a kid, given her upbringing as an ambassador's daughter, so this trip is as much for emily as it is for henry. according to jj, you haven't truly experienced fall unless you've frozen your ass off on a muddy farm to pick out pumpkins for halloween

the first thing they do is the corn maze, which takes them forever because henry is absolutely confident that he knows exactly how to get them out of there and won't take any suggestions from jj or emily. after nearly an hour of being led in circles, they finally make their way out and henry is super proud that he found his way through the maze. neither jj nor emily is going to tell him that they just came back out of the entrance

the rain hasn't let up at all and henry is the only one they bothered dressing appropriately for the weather, so jj and emily are soaked to the bone and freezing cold. the farm offers tractor rides to the end of the property, with promises of hot chocolate and roasted marshmallows on the other side, so they get on the wagon with hopes to warm up. henry is fascinated by the tractor and the driver even lets him sit in the seat so jj can get pictures of him "driving" the tractor. the tractor ride around the farm is bumpy, which makes henry giggle as he sits in jj's lap. emily points out the different kinds of fruits and vegetables that are growing on the farm and tells him the different kinds of food that she can make with all of them

when they get off the wagon, all three of them rush to the campfires to roast some marshmallows (and warm themselves up). henry insists on roasting his marshmallow by himself, but he keeps setting them on fire. it makes him upset, so emily eats all of his burnt ones and gives him her nice golden brown ones. jj helps henry hold his stick above the embers so that the marshmallow gets nice and toasty without catching on fire. he gorges himself on ooey gooey marshmallows and ends up with marshmallow all over his face and in his hair. jj wipes off his face and wonders aloud how it's even possible to get this much marshmallow outside of your mouth, only to see emily who has marshmallow on the tip of her nose and also in her hair (it's not her fault, it's the wind)

when they're all done warming up by the campfire and drinking their hot chocolate, they take the tractor back to the main farm and take henry to pick out a pumpkin to carve for halloween. despite their best efforts to stop him, he climbs all over the piles of pumpkins and inevitably chooses the heaviest one that's nearly the size he is. no amount of suggestions from jj and emily will sway him from his decision, so jj picks it up and carries it to the car (and emily tries not to stare at her muscles)

they get home and change into warm clothes that aren't completely soaked through, and the three of them eat apple pie and help henry carve his pumpkin

[beware-of-you-98]

why is emily gasping and literally being all “🥰😄💞JJ!!😄💞🥰” in season 4 never brought up as a jemily moment because like girl pleaseeeeeeee 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[a-timely-problem]

Overheard at the BAU

Henry, running towards Emily: "DADDY!"

Penelope, overhearing: "Wait, what?"

Henry: "Mommy keeps calling her that..."

Penelope, smirking towards a blushing JJ: "Does she now?"

[likeitovich]

Catch-22 by Mike Nichols (1970)

[lilliejareau]

Henry: *crying because he failed his math test*

Emily, trying to cheer him up: don't worry, when I was your age I failed my math test and look how I turned out!

Henry: *cries harder*

Emily: okay, you know what..

[prentiss4les]

emily: ugh, what are you doing that´s so loud? you woke me up. jj: making chocolate pudding, sorry about that. emily: it's four in the morning, why on earth are you making chocolate pudding? jj: the kids are sick and hungry. here's your pudding, henry. henry: i'm not hungry anymore, mommy. emily: eat your pudding, you little- jj: emily, it's fine, i´ll just put it in the fridge.

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

JJ: Emily, why did Henry just greet me with two middle fingers?

EMILY: *takes a sip of wine* I told him it means ‘peace among worlds.’

(inspired by Rick & Morty)