milfsincrime

[milfsincrime]

[milfsincrime]

casey + alex vs. smartphones

when bored or taking a break from reviewing her case notes, casey plops down on the couch (most of the time accompanied by a beloved bag of potato chips) scrolling through instagram reels of cat videos that she sometimes sends to alex.

alex calls casey out from the dining table where she’s preparing her cases and yells at her to stop sending her stupid videos because her phone keeps pinging. under grumpy breath, alex opens casey’s messages to watch the videos she sent. she smiles and wonders whether it is time for them to try and adopt a pet.

other things casey does with her smartphone:

1. casey learns new recipes by watching youtube videos so she could impress alex with her cooking skills. she also browses tagged restaurants on instagram reels so she could take alex there if she thinks they’re worth it.

2. she leaves movie reviews on letterboxd, especially if the ending of a movie really upset her

3. when she’s antsy, she plays harvest moon/stardew valley

4. casey has pinterest boards that she updates regularly: “date with alex ❤️”, “small tattoo ideas”, “poems that remind me of alex ❤️”, “stupid memes”

5. she has a reddit account but never posts. she uses it just to read the ridiculously funny and the questionably morbid.

casey’s google search history:

how to handle anxiety symptoms / sous vide vs. pressure cooking / are all orange cats crazy / gone girl actress / is orange from the color or the fruit / do fish pee / is bloodbending illegal / duck penis / date night ideas / is mayonnaise better for grilled cheese / padded sliding mats / jurassic park survival guide / new ways to pleasure your girlfriend / silly cat names / sneaky ways to ask your girlfriend to marry you / will our cat attempt to eat our pet fish if we decide to also keep fish pets / gelato vs. ice cream / what to give wife for first anniversary

things alex does with her smartphone:

(the first thing alex does in the morning after brushing her teeth is checking whether she has important emails that need to be urgently responded to)

1. she has a binaural beats/nature sounds app so she can listen to them to help her with anxiety when casey is not around

2. her mobile games of choice are (a) duolingo - to channel her competitiveness and always get to number 1 on leaderboards; (b) merge cooking; (c) nyt games - to pass time when she can’t sleep

3. casey encouraged alex to start journaling to help relieve some symptoms of anxiety. for convenience, alex uses the notion app as a semi-journal, semi-to-do list. at the end of a tiring day and esp if casey is on a work trip, she scribbles a brief narrative of how her day went and how it made her feel. sometimes, she shares her notes to casey.

4. convenience apps: uber, uber eats, doordash, pocket yoga, skyscanner, wise, paypal, opentable, airbnb, booking.com

5. alex has subscription to both apple music and spotify. she insists that sound quality is better in apple music but spotify’s user interface is friendlier. she has different playlists for each mood, and made playlists for casey. she hasn’t shared all those playlists to her though.

alex’s google search history:

are there any advantages to castling queenside? / how do you politely ask someone for their instagram account but as a friend? / what does it mean when young people say that “this is sending me”? / how to tell your girlfriend you love her without having to say it explicitly? / are intrinsic motivations learned? / what restaurant serves the best grilled cheese in manhattan? / list of fragrances with subtle sillage appropriate to wear at work / what signs to look out for which indicates that your girlfriend wants to marry you? / list of the most romantic places for honeymoon / best galleries to visit while in Barcelona / how hard is it to raise a child?

[milfsincrime]

[milfsincrime]

not a single one of the svu adas are beating the gay allegations

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I'm still a firm believer that Casey and Alex are married and has a home in the Hamptons. They're working together in getting spouses and children out of abusive homes - Alex, being the old-money, generational-wealth nepo-baby that she is, would give the runaways enough money to kickstart their new lives. Meanwhile Casey will be the one in charge of giving them new identity (like IDs, school records, birth certificates, the likes) and searching for a place for these people to stay in. The reason why we don't see Casey in Sunk Cost Fallacy is bcos she's busy relocating a different family that needed their more urgent help.

[milfsincrime]

old rediscovered photo of two lesbians walking around holding hands on their lunch break (1964)

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watching svu with my mom and she just said she could see where calex shippers (me) are coming from.. WE WON

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im sorry but prentiss and agent todd on season 4 had something going on you cant change my mind they were fucking each other behinds everyones back

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love this picture because i get to fool myself into thinking it's jj and elle

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i love how when elle leaves criminal minds they literally were like “oh no!! our lesbian! we need a replacement” and brought us emily prentiss

[milfsincrime]

Best duos are lesbian and their weird little freak bff

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hotch and gideon’s gay daughter and thot son

[milfsincrime]

do i make you nervous? - elle greenaway x fem!reader

cw: she/her pronouns, typical cm violence, petnames

wc: 1115

being stuck in a police station for six hours was not on your bingo card for the day. to be fair, it wasn't really on the bingo card for your year either. you were a good girl, you never broke the rules, you certainly didn't break the law. so, you'd never pictured yourself needing to be trapped under fluorescent lights waiting to talk to police officers, except for your bad luck in being caught in an almost violent bank hold-up.

not only that, of the many witnesses you were probably last in line, having to wait through hours of people going in and out of the tiny interview room. most of them left in tears, which really wasn't helping your nerves.

you'd resigned to your daydreams to pass the time; you'd finished the book from your purse hours ago and you could only play snake for so long. that was why you jumped violently when a hand lay on your shoulder, ripping you from your daydream. above you, the prettiest woman you'd ever seen was trying to hold back a laugh.

"i didn't mean to scare you," she said, and you found yourself smiling back at her. "just wanted to check if you wanted some water, pretty girl." sure enough she had offered a plastic cup toward you. you stared at it for a second before remembering your manners.

"oh! thanks, that's really nice of you." the woman shook her head.

"least we could do after keeping you here for so long. you come get me if you need anything else." you managed to nod and produce what you hoped was a smile despite your daze at the gorgeous woman.

you only waited for twenty more minutes after that before a man came out to get you.

"i'm derek morgan, special agent in the FBI. we just want to ask you some questions. i know the interrogation room looks scary, but we promise you're not in trouble. we just have to take what we can get in a precinct this small."

"i don't think anyone anticipated having this many witnesses in at once," you added, finding it much easier to talk to derek than the woman before. you didn't want to think about why that was.

it was straight to business once in the interrogation room. it was cold, like all the life had been sucked out of it. if you weren't already scared of the law you would have gone straight to avoid needing to return.

inside the room was the woman from before. you sucked in a nervous breath as you sat across from her, trying to split your looks evenly between her and morgan.

the woman finally introduced herself as ssa elle greenaway, and shook your hand in a way that had you weak in the knees. after the basic formalities, the two started asking you questions.

"alright, we'll start easy and warm you up to it. why were you at the bank this morning?"

"i'm moving into my first apartment in a few weeks. i lived on campus all of college and then stayed with my parents for a year or two as i was getting my career started. because i have no history of renting i had to sort out some papers and records with the bank and lucky me i chose today." both the agents made noises of sympathy.

"congratulations on moving out," elle said warmly, "too bad it's delayed by some maniac. do you remember seeing him walk in?"

you recounted the day in as much detail as you could remember, staring at your hands as you spoke. you were so anxious. all you could feel were eyes; morgan, elle, and you didn't know how many people could be observing you from behind the mirror. that, plus the trauma of being threatened with a gun hours before caught up to you all at once and you couldn't help the hot tears sitting on your waterline. both agents stopped at that, giving you a breather.

"morgan, think you can give us a minute?" elle said, not taking her eyes off of you. derek raised an eyebrow but agreed nonetheless, leaving the two of you alone.

elle grabbed your hands, holding them in hers over the table between you.

"let's slow down, just breathe, pretty girl." she forced you into silence for a few moments and you let your breathing fall into sync with hers.

"sorry," you said when you were mostly calm, "i'm really nervous."

"you've got nothing to be nervous about, baby, you haven't done anything wrong." god, you wanted to combust. this stunning woman was being so nice, holding your hands and calling you pet names, you couldn't handle it. she must have noticed your eyes trained on where you hands met -- unsurprising, you weren't being subtle -- and her soft expression turned into something of a smirk. "do i make you nervous?"

you nodded, almost imperceptibly, but elle's eyes were only on you. she couldn't contain her amusement, and you couldn't tell if you were offended that she was teasing you.

the rest of the interview was easier after elle knew the effect she had on you, eventually leaving derek as the sole agent when it got down to the facts you really needed to think about. although you knew it was necessary for the sake of the case, you were upset it meant you couldn't admire her more.

"we'll call you if we need anything else." derek walked you to the door, all smiles. you thanked him and assured him you'd be willing to give whatever the FBI needed.

just as you were descending the outdoor steps to the car park, you heard a heavy set of footsteps behind you. turning quickly, you were relieved to see elle following you. you gripped the strap of your purse nervously as you waited for her to speak.

"if you think of anything else, anything else you wanted to tell me, just reach out," she said, handing you a card. just as you opened your mouth to thank her she spoke again, "maybe you can start with where you got your jeans, your ass is irresistible." you could feel your flush hot on your cheeks as you mumbled some sort of goodbye, all but running to your car to scream.

safely at home, you could think more clearly, not hesitating to start composing a text message, including the brand of your jeans with a cheeky smiley face.

[milfsincrime]

well yes

the day elle greenaway has no fans is the day im buried in the cold hard ground

(also do people read fics for her?? cause the voices are telling me to write some)

[milfsincrime]

Misunderstandings

So I was chatting with @lilveeblog about their most recent fanfic ‘Monday Blues’ about how when Penelope goes to tell Emily something bad happened to JJ Emily asks if JJ had an accident. Well what if in Penelope’s regressed mind things got a bit confused and she thought Emily meant that accidents were bad.

- Word Count 2k

The team had just come back from a gruelling case keeping them away from home for the past week and the crime having an online aspect had Penelope seeing some of the worst of the action from behind her desk. She wanted nothing more to regress and had been between headspace’s all morning. She rubbed her eyes and shifted in her seat, writing reports was never fun, especially when you have to recount all of the horrors witnessed over the duration of the case.

She really needed to get this finished. As soon as she was done with these final searches she could wrap up for the day and regress fully knowing that it’s likely at least one other person would be finished too and could take care of her until it was time for everyone to leave. The team had the whole weekend off and they planned to spend some much needed family time at Uncle Rossi’s after the last couple of cases being particularly difficult.

Penelope wasn’t sure how much longer she spent typing away but finally she was done. She closed down her tabs and went to stand up when she realised she had a little problem. She was sat in a puddle and her skirt was clinging to her thighs uncomfortably.

Oh. Oh no. She hadn’t even realised she needed to go and she wasn’t even sure when it had happened but the cloying wetness had her slipping into her little headspace fast and she felt the tears begin to well into her eyes.

She was about to go ask for help cleaning up when she remembered JJ’s meltdown a couple of days prior. When she saw JJ was so upset she went to tell Aunty Emily something bad had happened and Emily had asked if JJ had had an accident. In the girls mind the fact that Emily thought JJ had had an accident after she said it was something bad, must have meant that she thought accidents were bad and she began to panic, tears now rolling down her face.

Penelope didn’t know what to do so she ran. She ran into the BAU bathroom and locked herself in a stall, curling up into one of the corners and letting the sobs she had been holding back free and clutching her knees to her chest desperately.

Back in the bullpen Tara had just finished up her report. She knew Penelope had been struggling between headspace’s whilst getting ready for work this morning, so she headed over to the girls office to see if she was almost ready to wrap up and play with some of the toys her and JJ kept in the office especially for times like these.

When she opened the blondes door however what she wasn’t expecting to find was an empty desk. Knowing Penelope was between headspace’s she knew the moment she left her desk she would struggle to not regress and the fact that there wasn’t a whirlwind of blonde hair whipping through the office ready to cause trouble was a little concerning, however she figured the younger girl had probably just popped to the bathroom and decided to wait for her just outside of her office.

After 5 minutes of waiting and still no sign of the rambunctious blonde Tara’s concern shifted into worry. Based on her initial assumption that Penelope had headed to the bathroom after finishing up her work she decided that would be the best place to start looking for the girl, knowing especially between headspace’s her motor skills were not always the best and she sometimes had difficulty with some of her more intricate clothing pieces.

Tara expected to walk into the bathroom to find a regressed Penelope struggling with her buttons or zipper, so hearing the gut wrenching sobs that sounded distinctly like the younger girl coming from behind one of the cubicle doors was a shock.

Penelope on hearing someone enter the bathroom began to sob harder. In her younger mindset what had likely only been 5 to 10 minutes in the corner in her uncomfortably damp clothes felt like hours. She wasn’t sure what to do, the clothes clinging to her body felt horrible and she wanted nothing more than to get changed but the fear of being punished for being ‘bad’ was still unbelievably overwhelming.

At the soft knocking on the door Penelope lifted her head, wiping her sleeve across her snotty tear stained face.

“Hey Penelope, is everything okay in there baby?” Tara asked softly.

Penelope sniffled. It wasn’t fair that she knew it was her right away. “go -way peas Tara,” she sniffled.

“Oh sweetie, I don’t want to leave you to cry on your own in there you sound awfully upset. Can you let me know what’s wrong so I can help?” Tara asked gently not wanting to upset the little further.

“Nuh uh. No wanna. Go -way peas.” Penelope cried again.

“I can’t leave you here all alone when you’re feeling small baby. Is there someone else you’d like me to get instead?” Tara question knowing that out of everyone on the team Penelope preferred comfort from Emily when things were really tough.

“No fanks. No grown ups peas. Wan- J,” she stated trying to sound firm with Tara even though the wet hiccups ended up making the request sound sad.

“Okay baby. Thank you for letting me know. JJ might have regressed already but I will do my best to see if she can come chat,” Tara replied.

Tara knew JJ had also had a tough time on the case and was looking forward to regressing this weekend just as much as Penelope. She was hoping however she was still in her adult headspace at least for long enough to find out what had Penelope hidden in a bathroom cubicle and sobbing so sadly.

When she left the bathroom however she saw Emily and a very clearly regressed JJ heading out of the brunettes office and into the bullpen, likely also in search of the stash of office toys.

Emily saw Tara exiting the bathroom and headed over to her with JJ to descend the stairs in the bullpen together.

When Tara didn’t begin to walk with them Emily spoke, “Hey Tara, is everything okay?” she asked.

“Penelope is locked in a bathroom stall sobbing, I don’t know why. She only wants JJ but it’s not fair to ask JJ to go help when she’s regressed,” Tara explained.

Emily had barely had a chance to process the information before JJ began speeding towards the bathroom.

“I help Penny,” the girl yelled pushing open the bathroom door.

Emily and Tara followed behind her, albeit at a much slower pace in case they needed to intervene.

JJ knocked on the stall door, “ PENNY!” she shouted, “is meeee, peas don- cry, i come in?” she continued carrying on knocking virtually the whole time.

Penelope still crying sighed in relief, she knew JJ wouldn’t think she was bad no matter what. Especially considering she was the younger of the pair and had accidents a lot more frequently than she did.

She slowly stood up cringing at the uncomfortable feeling on her skin before opening the door a crack and letting JJ slip into the stall with her.

Seeing her younger sister made Penelope’s tears pick back up again, the overwhelming emotions taking hold. She reached out for JJ hoping a cuddle would help her calm her emotions.

“Penny why cry?” JJ asked sweetly cuddling her sister back.

“Oh. Wet,” JJ stated as she took in Penelope’s appearance and the feeling of the girls wet dress against her, “it’s okay Penny peas don’t cry, mama help clean up!”

At that Tara slipped out of the bathroom going to see if anywhere in Penelope’s office needed to be cleaned and to grab the girls bag to get a spare change of clothes.

“Nuh uh. Emmy thinks accidents are bad. ‘Said so!other day,” Penelope hiccuped pulling away from JJ rubbing her sleeve against her snot stained teary face.

“No she never!” JJ stamped her foot, “my mama would never say accident bad. ‘Cause accident happens on accident not on purpose.”

Emily felt horrible. She remembered exactly when this had happened. The rambunctious blonde came rushing into her office to tell her something bad had happened with JJ. Knowing this likely meant the younger girl was upset she had asked Penelope if JJ had had an accident only in Penelope’s regressed mind the context must not have made sense.

Knocking on the bathroom door Emily braced herself for the look on Penelope’s face, trying to not show any hint of sadness about being the cause of the girls upset. She didn’t want Penelope to think she was in trouble, especially after how upset she was getting over the thought of doing something bad.

“Penelope, JJ, babies can I come in now please?” Emily asked.

JJ opened the door slowly and Penelope’s tears began to pick up again as she tried to push herself back into the corner.

“Oh Penelope sweetheart, it’s okay you’re not bad. I’m sorry I made you think so,” Emily said softly, taking JJ’s space in the stall as soon as the girl had walked out.

“JJ was exactly right kiddo, accidents are called accidents because you don’t have them on purpose, and if it’s not on purpose then it can’t be bad.” Emily said reaching her arms out for Penelope, knowing that as soon as she was upset all she craved was cuddles.

Penelope almost launched herself into the brunettes arms letting the sobs take over whilst Emily held her. Emily rubbed soothing circles on Penelope’s back and pressed small kisses to the top of her head whilst he cried waiting for her crying to slow and her breathing to even out.

During that time Tara had come back with Penelope’s bag and tried to get JJ to go with her to play and give her sister and Emily some privacy. JJ however no matter how young was ever the protector of her sister and refused to let Penelope out of her sight. When it became obvious the young girl couldn’t be swayed Tara had left to go and wait for the trio in the bullpen with the rest of the team.

“Right, let’s get you into some clean clothes,” Emily said once Penelope had settled enough.

Penelope nodded her head and smiled wetly, she really was glad Emily had given her a cuddle and now she was getting out of the uncomfortable clothing.

Emily grabbed a clean dress, some socks and a pull-up from the girls bag. At the sight of the pull-up Penelope whined. She wasn’t a baby.

“Come on Penny you know the rules, besides when we get to Uncle Rossi’s everyone is going to be getting into their pyjamas anyway,” Emily said lifting the hem of Penelope’s dress to pull it off and over her head.

At that Penelope relented and allowed Emily to get her changed, she even joined in with the silly clothes game JJ and Emily sometimes played.

Emily would put the clothes in all the wrong places until one of the girls got so flustered from all the giggling they grabbed the clothing showing Emily where it really went lest the brunette have them walking the streets with pants on their heads.

The silly game combined with the tickling spread intermittently throughout getting changed had Penelope laughing so hard by the time they were ready to leave the bathroom, it was almost as though all the upset had been forgotten. The rest of the team had also finished wrapping up their reports so it was time to head to Uncle Rossi’s for a relaxing weekend.

You can read Vee’s fic below:

[milfsincrime]

therapy ain't enough i need these women to commit an act of lesbianism with me

[milfsincrime]

i love the strict boss and his hyperactive tech analyst that he’s overly protective over duo