#Heart disease genetics

[tiredsn0w]

Finally got my ten thousand dollar medication for my 0.05% prevalence disease in a huge scifi cold storage box thing after four months of waiting and it barely even helped....

[battlevann]

guess who has to go 2 cardiology...

[dodgebolts]

actually tho if anyone has good nonfiction book recs I really do want to get back into reading

[uraandri]

my mole is looking kinda weird i'm gonna see if it changes in the next few days and then see a doctor 👍 it could be that my eczema is flairing up right beneath it because the band of my pants goes right over it and it always activates when i'm stressed 👍

[simonh]

Genes That Control Cholesterol by National Library of Medicine Via Flickr: Contributor(s): Brown, Michael S., 1941-, National Institutes of Health, (U.S.). Medical Arts and Photography Branch. Publication: [Bethesda, Md. : Medical Arts and Photography Branch, National Institutes of Health, 1990] Language(s): English Format: Still image Subject(s): Cholesterol -- metabolism, Hyperlipoproteinemia Type II -- genetics, Heart Diseases -- etiology Genre(s): Posters Abstract: The major portion of the poster is a colored sketch in light purple, bright pink, green, and light aqua with orange circles and a white line zig-zagging through it, all against a grayish blue background. At the bottom of the poster, the date, time, and location of the lecture are given along with the listing of Dr. Brown's position as Director, Center for Genetic Diseases, University of Texas, Southwestern Medical School in Dallas. Extent: 1 photomechanical print (poster) : 81 x 66 cm. Technique: color NLM Unique ID: 101454113 NLM Image ID: C00742 Permanent Link: resource.nlm.nih.gov/101454113

[3liza]

"everyone suddenly seems really stupid and aggressive" its brain damage from covid

"im sick all the time now and everyone at work is sick all the time" its immune system damage from covid

"im sick again, but i tested and its not covid haha" its still probably covid, rapid covid tests have been estimated at 30% positive accuracy by researchers who are factoring in strain mutation and user error

"no one can drive anymore, what happened" its brain damage from covid

"why am i suddenly mentally ill" its brain damage from covid

"i started feeling weak, breathless, confused, distracted, irritable and in pain but it was a while after i got covid so its not long covid" long covid sets in a random number of months after your covid infection and also asymptomatic covid can cause it

"ive still never gotten covid, isnt that great" unless you are an undiscovered genetic freak (possible) or youve been living in a clean room, you have had a covid infection. it may have been asymptomatic

"im sick but its from blood clots, heart disease, asthma, nerve damage, narcolepsy, etc" covid attacks the entire body and can cause all of these things as downstream effects

"ive already had covid so i probably have pretty good immunity by now" covid does not work like this. the more times you are infected, the more permanently injured you will become, and the more vulnerable to further covid infections and infections of all other viruses and bacteria

"ive been vaccinated so im safe" covid does not work like this. vaccination lowers your likelihood of developing severe infection, it does not protect you from contracting the virus

"well what am i supposed to do" wear a mask

[platinumforheart]

Genetic markers play a pivotal role in determining individuals' heightened chance of coronary heart attacks. Through genetic checking out, healthcare professionals can verify a character's genetic predisposition to cardiovascular illnesses, along with coronary heart attacks.

[kamitsubakii]

I just fully realized the Cardiologist I'm seeing on Thursday is a dude I am terrified

[jcmarchi]

Envisioning a time when people age without fear of dementia

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/envisioning-a-time-when-people-age-without-fear-of-dementia/

Envisioning a time when people age without fear of dementia

The mathematician and computer scientist Richard Hamming once gave a talk about doing great research. “He who works with the door open gets all kinds of interruptions, but he also occasionally gets clues as to what the world is and what might be important,” Hamming said, emphasizing the importance of open-mindedness and scientific development.

William Li came across this quote as a high school student seeking to dedicate himself to research but unsure how to begin. “I think that science is kind of an opaque area to break into. It’s hard to know what you’re supposed to be doing from time to time,” Li explains.

A double-major in physics and computer science, Li has taken this advice to heart. Keeping his “office door” open has led him to a variety of research projects, from neuroimaging to genomics, that shaped his long-term goal: to become a physician-scientist who moves the needle on Alzheimer’s disease.

Li’s interest in working with patients in a clinical setting was spurred by his grandfather, who was a doctor. In high school, he began volunteering in retirement homes and at the Byrd Alzheimer’s Center and Research Institute at the University of South Florida. Through this work, Li witnessed the devastating effects Alzheimer’s disease has on both those diagnosed and their loved ones.

But that isn’t the only thing about Alzheimer’s that has grabbed his interest. With no cure available, and relatively little known about its cause, the disease is also a compelling scientific problem. “Beyond its human impact, Alzheimer’s represents a frontier of our understanding of human disease,” Li says.

Starting in the fall, Li will begin an MD/PhD program “for the better part of the coming decade.” Following that, he hopes to secure a residency in radiology or neurology, and then to teach and do research while simultaneously practicing medicine. His ultimate goal is a big one — to help develop a cure for Alzheimer’s.

Pursing knowledge

Research has been the highlight of Li’s career at MIT. He says, “To me personally, research means being able to contribute to a body of knowledge built upon by generations of minds in the past. I see modern science and technology as a pinnacle of human achievement, and it’s a dream come true to be able to add to this work.”

In a normal week during the academic semester, Li can spend up to 15 hours in the lab. His research projects have addressed very different topics, but both have guided him toward his current goals.

In the Soljačić and Johnson groups in the Research Laboratory of Electronics, Li he has worked in nanophotonics, a field concerned with controlling light by designing structures the size of a wavelength, for optical and X-ray images, among other applications. 

Li has worked on making X-ray imaging safer and more effective for medical screenings. He also focuses on using computational methods to design nanophotonic device elements for higher-resolution imaging. “Imaging technologies in the future will have pretty enormous applications both for understanding disease and for being able to catch diseases early through diagnosis,” he says.

In his sophomore year, Li began working at the lab of Professor Manolis Kellis at the Broad Institute of MIT and Harvard, using computational tools to study genetic variation among Alzheimer’s patients and how this relates to the disease itself. In this way, the disease can be broken down into subtypes, explains Li, which will make it easier to understand and treat. Last summer, Li won a SuperUROP Outstanding Research Award for this project.

Forging connections

When Li first joined the Kellis lab, the field of genomics seemed vast and overwhelming. To combat this, he started an academic journal club. In the club, Li and his peers would read research papers together and discuss them. In the fashion of a traditional journal club, one person would present at each meeting. Club participants encouraged each other to focus on any research they found exciting, ranging over the past century. As the club has continued, members have started to present their own research to the group as well. “It’s fun seeing what my friends are interested in,” Li says.

Li also served as the collegiate relations co-chair of MIT’s Pre-Medical Society. Here he was responsible for organizing an annual meeting between all pre-med students of the greater Boston area. This mixer was held for pre-med students to other local students and learn from pre-medical advisors and alumni of various Boston schools.

Among the several communities Li is a part of at MIT, his dormitory holds a special place in his heart. Next House, MIT’s largest dorm building, is the place Li has called home since his junior year. Since moving in, he has immersed himself in the living community by assuming roles in several activities hosted by the dorm, such as Thanksgiving dinner.

“I’m very happy to be part of the Next House community. It’s a pretty fantastic place, and I would say that my quality of social life has increased a lot since moving here,” he states.

Along with large events, Li also appreciates the weekly traditions he has created with his Next House friends. Each Sunday, for example, Li joins members of his dorm wing for a 15-minute workout. He says he enjoys exercising in the group setting and frequently attends the gym with his friends, too.

After some downtime on the weekends, Li heads back to the lab and his quest to better understand the brain and how it can be ravaged by dementia. As he continues on his path toward becoming a researcher and physician, he envisions a world where people can age without fear of illness.

[navydoves]

Blood Bag — Chapter 1

"Shh, drink." ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

✎ᝰ. summary. you’re a vampire, you need blood. sylus is the most powerful man on this side of the planet. he has what you need. ✎ᝰ. cw. you’re a vampire/sylus is a human, yearning sylus, depressed sylus, lonely sylus, luke and kieran are side characters, not unrequited but maybe a little, ANGSTY, erotica, lots of pining here bro, sylus will get more pathetic as the chapters go on TBH

✎ᝰ. wc. 9.7k ✎ᝰ. a/n. alright this is gonna be a several part series (nothing over like 3 or 4), because this baby is heavy packed with story. the story is told in sylus’s pov and this first chapter is a lot of character building for sylus. some things are written in-between the lines here and it’s something you’ll just have to figure out as you read more.

also apparently i have a tag list of one? woaahh, crazyyyy.

@phisen hey girl whats up

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ to be in power means to wear the crown of the wind - ruling unseen, yet felt everywhere. there is a jurisdiction through those in power; created by them, and mandated by their people. with great power comes great responsibility, but with great power comes great reward as well. some sovereignties relish in riches or authority because that was the reward of power. owning, succeeding. other sovereignties revered obedience and the autocratic nature of their title, because that too was the reward of power. authoritative, commanding. the only reason empires fall, and people scatter is because their sovereignties could not hold up the weight of their responsibilities. it is the well-established, deliberate ones that have continuous reign. but we live in a world filled of trade-offs; so, while reckless sovereignties get to be reckless because their trade-offs are rebellion and destruction, what do the sensible sovereignties get? loneliness. loneliness is their trade off. the most revered sovereignties are only that because they are the most sound and practical. they pay for longevity with isolation, and not by choice, no, but by necessity. trust is earned. happiness is earned. in order to stand today where he does today, the standing sovereignty of onychinus has lived by this philosophy for centuries. besides his two (rather immature) underlings that have pledged their loyalties to him, there is no other soul that has taken up space in his life. sylus was all too venerated as a leader to care about abundance anymore. every trade was always carefully scrutinized by him to ensure that he and his organization received complete satisfaction; but the only deal sylus has never acknowledged is the deal he made trading his heart for his position. since the first day of creating onychinus, he unknowingly sold off the heart once given to him for the reason of structure, for protection. protection was now evermore a necessity than before, though. while threats of danger always loomed in the empire that was the n109 zone, the recent outbreak within neighboring empires was causing tension. the n109 zone was strictly regulated and monitored as per onychinus's rule, so they barely even felt a scratch from the epidemic, but that was all the more reason to invade them. originating from a lost civilization called linkon, the outbreak was said to also have vanished to time. as their empire fell so too their people and the horrifying disease they carried with them. horrifying by today's standards, that is. what was formerly called their "disease" is now more modernly known as vampirism. vampires weren't creatures, no, as they stemmed from humans and could also carry human genetics - but they weren't human enough to be considered normal. back when their first began as a sub-gene (or "subspecies") of humans, they were accepted rather easily into normal civilization. differences were put aside for the sake of community building as "sovereignties" and "empires" didn't exist as we know them today. but as the saying goes, "one bad apple spoils the bunch." veering off the animal supply stashes the vampires kept stored within their solitary caves, a few rogue vampires decided that the next best thing to animal blood was human blood. it was a very practical thought - humans were much more well-nourished and they had more blood to take. surely, their blood was better than pig's blood. surely, the one or two humans that would be sacrificed would understand that this is for hunger. and surely, their communities would understand that they were doing justice to the greater good. and surely enough, it did not end well. the incident in which vampires betrayed the hospitality shared between them and humans for the sake of blood was dubbed "the first bite." at the time, no one had no way of knowing it - but the bite of a vampire wouldn't take a life; rather, it would alter whoever was bitten to turn into a vampire as well. when this revelation was made, things were more than "not well", they were catastrophic.

the details of it are spared now in history books, but the way of the word says that for the better part of the eon there was enough bloodshed to coat forests red.

in the end humans won was what essentially a war with their biggest ally being the sun. most vampires were innocent in any betrayal, but the frenzied attacks that came after the first bite were targeted at the entire sub-gene of vampires, causing panic and retaliation. an unfortunate set of circumstances, really, but since their supposed extinction their existence was only to the world through tales. a cornerstone story of betrayal and human triumph.

that was until now, though.

it was only a few decades ago that a new surge of vampiric traits emerged untraceably in humans. the sun was scalding to their skin, their complexions ghostly and gaunt, their bodies rejecting normal meals. this rise was declared a state of sovereign emergency and due to mistrust and anxiety welling within people, this was where tensions between empires began.

n109, being the biggest trader and distributor of modern weapons and protective gear, were in high demand. the issue was, sylus was not a man who was willing to bargain that easily with other empires even for the sake of an outbreak. what about him and the people he took care of? even if these people are criminals, mobsters, drug dealers, outcasts of society, they were still established in his area. to put into simple terms, sylus was and is a hardass. he could be called greedy and intransigent by as many news outlets as the world wanted, but he was stern and consistent in his ways. which is why he is the sensible sovereign others cannot be.

he gave up his heart for this position. he gave up half his soul to be where he is. and he'll be damned if he loses it all once again. ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ "boss says no, sorry!" luke chirps from behind his mask. he gives the merchant a small shrug, completely resigned in his words.

"nothing we can do it about it!" kieran chirps in the same tone. the merchant in front of them furrows his brows together in clear disdain. the impatient expression that he wore on his face for the past two hours only evolved into a newfound emotion of anger that threatened to burst. the twins exchange a knowing glance at each other but then quickly refocus their attention onto the greying, tall old man in front of them. "why not?" the merchant asks with restrained tension in his voice. the binders of death reports and files he's lugged over city lines for the simple purpose of showing the head of onychinus were now useless. "do you understand what you're denying right now? it's aid! it's humanitarian assistance! what gives anyone the right to deny people life?" the twins exchange another glance. "we aren't denying anything, sir" kieran responds amusedly while flicking his finger back and forth between him and luke. "we are simply the boss's messengers. nothing we can do about it." "yeah, yeah," luke agrees while crossing his arms, "don't go being all bitch-y to us. take it up with the boss." the merchant clenches his fists until his knuckles turn visibly white. the anger was almost a little humorous to the twins, but they kept their faces in check - even with the crow masks on. "how the hell am i supposed to take it up with him if he won't even see me?! why doesn't he bless negotiators with his presence especially after we've gone through days of his intensive security procedures? is he mad?" kieran stifles a laugh so luke decides to answer for him. "don't take it so personally. boss doesn't er... 'bless' people with his presence if he doesn't believe the conversation is worth his time. you're the fourth outlander this month with a proposition about weapon trading for the outbreak. guess what boss said the other three times? i think you have a good idea." "and so how exactly are us smaller states supposed to acquire artillery to fend off these vicious vampires?! the n109 zone has more than enough weaponry to go around without becoming insufficient themselves." "how would you know that?" kieran asks suddenly, his giggles gone in an instant. luke tilts his head at the merchant and shakes it in displeasure. "you're very bold to assume the business of the n109 zone, especially when the case files you've brought us clearly skew the deaths in your area. the elderly dying of regular, human sicknesses is not an issue. yet many of the death files you've brought make it sound like the 'sickness' was vampirism. you can't half-truth your way into a conversation with boss." the merchant shakes his head rapidly and clutches onto the binder of cases. he flips it open and swipes through the papers with haste, determined to explain and prove himself to the twins for the sake of his dignity. "you don't understand, of course you don't! you haven't read the files fully! the elderly-" "nope," luke interjects, "we're not here for a debate. like we said, boss gave orders and we're relaying them. when boss says no, you take a leave." he pats kieran on the back once with a small laugh, an indication telling the brother he had to get the guards this time. kieran sighs softly and steps aside for a moment while luke continues his argument with the merchant. he clears his throat, steps into position, and flails his arms while making cawing sounds to the air.

the immediate embarrassment that flooded kieran was almost enough to make him stop but the incoming of mechanical birds hidden away in the corners of the estate told him he did enough. the birds swooped in and pinched the various corners of the merchant's clothes before dragging him away with disgusting strength. "w..what's happening? get these birds off of me!" he yells while scrambling to catch his flying papers. the twins simply watch the scene with a bit of awe in their gaze. the snail trail of reports falling from the binders, the panicking merchant that were glad was finally out of their hair, and the mechanical crows all flying and pulling in uniform fashion. they giggled. "see? i told you our training on the birds worked," luke cheesed while nudging kieran, "they know our calls now, we're like crow papas to them." kieran stares at his twin for a moment and just very subtly shakes his head in disbelief. "you're weird." "you too, crow head."

"look at what you're also wearing on your head right now." "hey... no bickering! boss wants us to report back to him soon. let's get the crows to pick up and throw away the papers." kieran sighs in surrender and nods. it didn't take long for the mechanical bird army to come flying back from around the corner and into the common room the merchant waited in. with a few more embarassming squawks from the twins, the birds begin picking up the left-over, tattered piece of papers that had clearly gone through a lot from the journey to the n109 zone. "hey luke," kieran mumbles while tidying up the papers on the long, matte-coloured table nearby. "maybe we shouldn't throw these out? boss didn't get to see most of what that guy brought. it might be good if we bring it to him." luke stands straight and tilts his head. "why's that?" "well if these are legitimate death files from states that are suffering from vampirism, then it'd be good private intel for boss to examine. maybe it'd help him gain more... yknow... intimate insight on what's happening beyond the n109. not just bullshit TV news and all that hargon-jargon." "i mean..." luke murmurs while scratching the side of his mask. it wasn't like sylus to give time of day to outsider intel. he preferred getting it his own way, impractical or not. but death reports were a new one. "if he doesn't want them then he can just throw them out. no harm no foul?" kieran nods in agreement and turns back to the papers in hand. time to go find boss.

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"come in," sylus murmurs while not sparing the door of his office a glance. his eyes were trained on the case of guns that was sat up on his desk. he takes a long sip of his herbal tea while tracing his fingers over the cool metal that shaped each ridge of his babies. but his attention was quickly stolen away though, as the noise of ruffling of papers emerged through the door.

"hey boss," kieran greets first while holding the door open for his brother. they both had a handful of messy, floppy papers in their hands that almost threatened to slip out of their order again. sylus quirks a brow as the twins set down the papers causally beside his gun case and step back. "what is this?" he asks with a neutral yet slightly annoyed tone. he slowly closes the gun case and looks up at the twins with a boring expression. he looked exhausted, almost. "death reports from the merchant that came in earlier," luke chuckles nervously, "he dropped a few pages as he left, and we thought you might like to see them." sylus furrows his brows slightly but not out of annoyance. this wasn't like the twins, to bring him something from the negotiators that popped in and out of his estate. "why? didn't i tell you two to dismiss him? why do i need his papers?" "well you don't need the papers," kieran adds on, "but we've never received death reports from any state or empire up until now. it's like an inside look on the effects of vampirism going on. we know you're old boss, but you're not old enough to remember the first vampires, right?"

sylus crosses his arms and looks to the side briefly. "no," he simply answers. "how do you know these aren't faked in some way? or completely illegitimate? what if they're from some other empire that isn't that merchant's place of origin?" the twins look at each other and shrug. kieran speaks up first. “well we don’t. we know some of them are but the rest looked real when we went through them.”

luke follows up. “look boss, you don’t have to give it a second thought if you don’t want to. you look pretty tired anyway, have you been getting any sleep?”

kieran stands on his tippy toes to peer over sylus’s desk. a wave of gratitude washes over him as his eyes catch a glimpse of the familiar green liquid in sylus’s cup. “hey, you’re drinking the herbals we gave you. they’re good aren’t they? you’ve been needing something to calm you down, boss.”

sylus glances over to the steaming mug on the edge of his desk. with slight hesitation he picks it up and brings it to his lips for a small sip. the twins watch him quietly, almost in awe that sylus was actually enjoying something they suggested. the cup finds its way back onto the desk as sylus picks up the reports right next to them. he heedlessly flips through them, eyes scanning every few words on every other page but not fully registering any of the contents. with a sigh, he throws them back onto his desk and waves his hand.

"this is an afterthought to all the weapon modifications and security checks we're running right now. these fucking… vampires - they're making my job harder than it needs to be. and now i have people coming in and out the n109 zone like it's a game of hopscotch, begging for my mercy like im some sort of fucking saint." sylus squints his eyes and bares his teeth in frustration. the empire, the organization he built up from the ground wasn't charity - even in times of crisis.

all these people were cruel. a life so distant to him now still prominently held the ache of rejection in his chest. why does he have to help them? who helps sylus now?

sensing the frustration and indignation welling up in sylus, the twins quickly step forward and snatch the reports off the desk to put on a side table, away from sylus's immediate gaze. "boss, hey, hey, take a deep breath," luke coos, "you're so tense today, is everything alright? when was the last time you slept?"

kieran glances between his brother and sylus and frowns behind his mask. "it's been more than today, you've been at your wits' end for a long while now, boss. we can't remember the last time you… you weren't…" kieran trails off, feeling as if he were over-stepping in his words. he steps back as a subtle sign of submission, but sylus notices the sudden tension between his underlings. he sighs and thuds back onto his desk chair. his head was buried in the large palms of his hands as an exasperated groan left his lips.

"look… it's not something the two of you could understand unless you were in my position," sylus murmurs into his palms. he pulls away from his hands and lays back in his chair, arms tense on their respective rests. "don't go worrying about me when you both have your own responsibilities to adhere to. the n109 zone, onychinus, me, i wouldn't have lived this far if i wasn't okay enough. you two are naive to these feelings. you have your youth, each other, and aren't constantly endangered by your line of work. i make sure of that."

"and you have none of that?" luke mumbles rather somberly, his head tilted down to the floor.

"of course not," sylus replies, "you two have known me long enough to know that. now -, " sylus stands to full height from his chair and briefly looks at the twins before focusing elsewhere. the obvious dejection in their postures made him feel bad, but knowing it was because of him made him feel worse. yet for some reason, an apology, explanation, or anything of the sort couldn't come out of his mouth to reassure them." - i'll need you two to leave. i need some time to myself. have the guards initiate lockdown and get ready for bed. the estate should be quiet."

the twins don't bother picking up their heads and simply nod at sylus's words. luke leads out and kieran follows him through the office door. the tense air they were just suffocated in stalked them even through the corridors of the estate, far from where sylus was. as they pressed for an elevator to descend, kieran turns to luke and lets out a small noise to get his attention. "what do you think?" he asks rather neturally.

luke returns kieran's gaze and takes a moment. "i think boss is depressed."

not long after the twins left his isolated office, sylus returns to work inspecting the weapons on his desk. they were placed so gently in their matte-case after their polishing and refinement, which scratched an itch in sylus's perfectionist brain. these were new prototypes that underwent intensive scrutiny before landing in sylus's hands.

the only difference about these prototypes was that they weren't regular technological maintenances on older weaponry; but rather, modifications made on the best artillery within onychinus. this case of guns were only scrap pieces of what was currently in network within his bases. and this was what other nations were at the door begging him for. weapons made specifically to fend off vampires. alloyed in the coldest type of steel, onychinus' series of vampiric artillery was nothing short of effective as they were nothing short of perfection.

sylus slowly grazes the edges of his guns with his fingertips, reveling in the sleek feel of them before picking up the smaller of the three. he holds it up, points the gun at the end of the room and stills in his stance. the gun was snug in his palm and surged power through sylus's veins. it felt good, it felt more than good. he produced perfection again and that accomplishment was especially honorable when knowing that the rest of the world was in trying times while he, he was succeeding. a brief but telling smirk tugs at sylus's lips. he relaxes and puts the gun back in its mold in the case. while closing the top of the case, his eyes flit to the side to the scattered reports on his side table. he should really get rid of those, he thinks. they're a ridiculous eyesore, he thinks. something as inevitable as death shouldn't be used as a guilty-trip, he thinks. but his hands betray his thoughts as they reach out to the discarded pile. in a similar fashion to earlier, sylus skims through the papers with mild interest and moderate annoyance. he wasn't sure why he felt a boiling upset in him whenever he was reminded of the outside world, but his cryptic mental problems were of no use to figure out when he had real-world problems. the pile almost reached its end when sylus's attention was piqued by something ... familiar? he wasn't sure what exactly was familiar about this report. it wasn't the name, nor the date and place of birth. it wasn't the occupation nor address; nor was it the reason and specifications of death. it actually wasn't any personal details of this person, he noted, but rather something more tangible. their face. her face. sylus bores his eyes at the rectangular photo of the woman on the top left of the report. he isn't sure if he's ever seen her before, but no other face in the reports had warranted a reaction from him like this. his eyes scan over the full document once more before narrowing at the place of birth. philos. if there was one nation sylus hated with vigor it was philos. hate was a strong word for him. even to his mortal enemies he wouldn't say he hated them - more like pitied them for their passion of hating him. philos was the only exception from this moral code of hate, though, as the birthplace of sylus's hate was from philos itself.

he quelled his anger quickly and focused back on the woman’s face. what was it about her that provoked his interest and why did the fact she was from philos leave him unsettled? the questions floating around in his head were suddenly frustrating, causing sylus to grit his teeth and throw the paper back onto the desk.

as if he didn’t have enough stress and paperwork in his life. as if philos hadn’t meddled in his life enough.

he groans softly and firmly picks up his weapons case off of his desk. he strides to the middle of the room and held the case up, eyes scanning his surroundings for a familiar bird.

“mephisto,” sylus calls with a scratchy voice, “take the case back to base.”

a dark crow flies out from the corner and caws as it’s claws grip onto the heavy case with concerning strength. the mechanical bird flaps its wings and glances down at sylus, its beady red eyes tracing his figure.

mephisto, in a way, was the only thing that could be above sylus.

the bird flaps in place for a moment before flying toward the office door with its package. sylus watches mephisto with a twitching lip, a few more words pending in his head.

“and mephisto… tell base those guns fucking suck.”

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the atmosphere was quite mellow. sunday was the best day to visit the bar; all the nerduwells and wannabe vigilantes in the n109 zone had exhausted their energy for the week, leaving the streets and establishments somewhat peaceful.

somewhat.

the recent epidemic of vampirism in neighboring sovereignties caused a spike of anxiety even here. even if the n109 was one of the most established empires in modern day, humans were prone to worry about what-ifs.

what-if n109 defenses weren’t enough to stop an army of blood-thirsty vampires?

what-if the security checks done on visitors overlooked someone?

what if the demand for the n109 zone's involvement in the ongoing epidemic increased, resulting in them making enemies with former allies? what if, what if, what if? but sylus didn't have the energy to worry about the what ifs. he only worried about what is. what is happening in onychinus's bases? well that would be massive weapon modification and revamping. what is sylus's role in the ongoing vampiric invasion? his only role is acting as the head of onychinus and as a protector of the n109 zone. what is currently happening in the main estate sylus worked in? well that would be a reinstation of a better, more thorough built-in security system.

which is why sylus was stuck here in a nearby bar that he frequented. well, frequented is a strong word - he more so popped in and out from time to time and only racked up a tab when he really needed it. the bartenders knew him, of course, and upon seeing the laundry list of a tab he was currently racking up, they felt a little concerned. but sylus was in no mood to talk, drinking was his conversation right now.

one shot empty meant give me another. two shots empty meant give me another. three shots empty meant give me another. four-maybe this language sylus was speaking was limited... but the bartenders understood it well. sylus puts down another shot glass and groans. "give me another. balkan this time, no chasers." "the balkan isn't meant for straight consumption," the bartender informs rather straightforwardly, "we can offer you finger foods with it, on the house." sylus flits his intense gaze from his glass up to the bartender. the frown on his lips and the twitch of his eyebrows communicates more than the empty glasses this time around. the bartender turns to his female co-worker. "balkan, no chasers." the 57th shot is when sylus called it quits. a man of his stature, strength, and age could not be toppled over easily. dragons drank for breakfast, lunch, and dinner on occasion. he was just reliving those days, it seemed. sylus stands and rubs his eyes in exhaustion. he wasn't sure how long he'd been sat at the bar for but the crowd that was here when he first stepped in was now entirely replaced. his gaze was only slightly distorted, but it was enough to make him stumble here and there. he reaches into his shirt pocket and slides out his black card with his fingertips, but is met with refusal from the bartenders. "we have your card on file," the female bartender smiled. "would you like us to call your drivers to take you back to your estate, sir? your renovations are most likely done by now." sylus raises an eyebrow at her. fuck, he must've mumbled on about his current pathetic life affairs to these poor workers and had somehow given them his driver's numbers. but the usual slight sense of embarrassment that would creep up on him was sputtered out by intoxication. he nodded slowly at the girl and sat back down as she left to the back for what he assumed would be a weird call to his chauffeurs. he waited for a period of time completely unknown to him. was the alcohol really screwing with his head this much? 57 was lightweight to him most days, but these days as of late weren't like most days. sure, the vampire epidemic had been going on for a few decades now, but the true climax of the crisis was just now beginning. meaning the true number of headaches sylus got was also increasing. there was a direct correlation to him. he looks down at his hands and frowns. in a drowsy, hazed state, a clear and lucid thought parts all other muddled words. what have i become? his mind goes back to the nonsensical fog that was there prior. it was only until he heard the familiar voice of the female bartender telling him that his ride was outside that he finally focused. he stood, strode assuredly through the doors of the bar, and exited the establishment with none of the emotions he amassed inside left behind. after a short, silent car ride, his destination was reached. the security system of the estate was fully renovated once sylus stepped inside. new DNA sensors, identification scans, ID processors, infrared lights, and an abundance of other authentication protection devices were established. all of which sylus knew by heart. he was the one who had ordered these to be built, after all. this type of security was what he wanted in the near future for all the vulnerable spots within the n109 zone. vampires aren't going to thrive in his empire if he has anything to say about it. sylus only makes it a few steps into the estate before he's beckoned. "boss, boss!" luke and kieran chirp from around the hall. they almost topple over each other trying to get to sylus first. "boss, look at these new ID cards base gave us!" luke giggles, "we had to take a whole shoot for these but they got our best angles!" the twins hold up two ID cards each, one with their masks on and one with them off. it was almost endearing to think that only sylus knew what they really looked like.

"yeah! and because of them, our faces can be sensed without taking our masks off! these new scanners were really worth the money!" kieran adds on with an obvious smile lilting his voice.

but the excitement in the twins' voice quickly die down as they noticed sylus's hazed, apathetic stare toward them. they slowly lower the ID cards and avert their gaze from such a dreadful sight.

"boss?" luke murmurs, "you alright?"

sylus keeps quiet. his eyes were half-lidded and pink and his stance was uneven. he looked a little annoyed but was mostly uncaring of what the twins had to say. the tension that always followed sylus was back now, and at his silence, the twins back away and apologize profusely before vanishing around the corner.

"boss is drunk," kieran simply remarks, childish joy gone from his voice.

sylus turns back to the corridor and walks himself to where an elevator was awaiting his arrival. he steps in, clicks a floor button, and was swiftly taken up directly into his bedroom. his button-up came off first and then his belt alongside his pants. he then slips out of his boxers, shoes, and then socks, all before stepping into his grandiose bathroom for a shower.

while sylus's mouth was quiet this entire time, his head was anything but. a looming sense of forlorn simmered in his chest as his thoughts journeyed him through regret. being in this position with his much power was what he wanted from day one as a baby dragon. and with that dream ripped away from his former self, why did it feel so terrible now to pursue it?

maybe this outbreak incident of vampires was what was needed to remind him of how vulnerable he is. his trade-off for stable, consistent power was this dread that he was feeling now. he once flew through skies free as a bird, now the closest thing he had to free flight was mephisto. maybe that's why he likes crows. they take the flight he can no longer chase. the shower turns off 45 million thoughts later and sylus steps out just as dazed as he stepped in. those shots were something persistent. even his tolerance was withering away, it seemed. he groans softly as he grabs a towel and dries his limbs. every movement felt ache-y and sloppy, but his body was soon dry enough to slip into his robe. before continuing his routine, he takes one good, hard look at himself in the mirror. that was him, surely, but why? why did that have to be him? sylus, leader of onychinus and protector of the n109 zone, a sovereignty of power and advancement. those titles felt isolating, for some reason. but that wasn't anything new. isolation was nothing new.

before he could vomit at the dizziness caused by focusing his eyes too hard, he steps back from the mirror and rubs his head. slowly, sylus's body moves out of the bathroom and into the main part of the bedroom. he slugs toward his bed and sits on the edge before fully twisting his body on the mattress. he doesn't bother lugging the blankets on top of his body, in fact, his skin was scalding. even the robe felt uncomfortable tied around his body like this, but he thought against removing it.

a familiar sense frustration grew within him again. the mere thought of being uncomfortable in his own body was unsettling, it only served his insecurities about becoming vulnerable. he slowly picks up his hand and rubs the side of his face.

"what the hell is this feeling…" he mumbles to himself.

with a resigned sigh, he lets his hand fall back to his side. he closes his eyes and tilts his head back on his pillow. a mixture of exhaustion and pain simmers within his body as he submits to fatigue and let's sleep sweep away his foggy mind.

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the n109 was special in the fact that there was no morning. everyone had their own sleep schedules, but the entire empire was nocturnal, in a sense. sylus himself didn't need much sleep. unlike most humans that needed seven to eight hours per night, he only needed about three or four to fully function, but he could also go days without it. that's why when sylus woke up eleven hours after his night of drinking, he felt a little confused. he squints at the clock on his bedside table to fully ensure that he wasn't imaging the time. no, it had actually been eleven hours. damn, his tolerance was really degrading. he pushes himself off the bed and steps into his slippers. he simultaneously felt better and worse from the night before. his headache was gone for the most part, but the heat under his skin was still there. actually, his skin was so hot that it was a bit itchy. sylus scratches at his face for a few moments before deciding it was somehow the consequence of drinking so much. the alcohol boiling in his body was probably making his body temperature rise, causing this weird sensation. he walks to the bathroom, hoping a cold shower might help mediate this problem. in the back of his head, the myriads of labor waiting for him today laid. he had to run inspections on his new security system to ensure its upkeep, and once he was satisfied, he would go to base to discuss a more widespread implementation of it.

but despite being awake for all of four minutes, it was seeming like nothing was going to plan today. sylus steps into his bathroom and disrobes himself with one tug at his belt. he moves to the shower and turns on the water before staring at himself in the mirror. as he waited for the temperature of the water to drop to the coldest setting, his eyes traced his bare form in the mirror, top to bottom, over and over again. it was almost like he was judging himself. but something catches his eye on his third round of scrutiny. he steps closer to the mirror and leans into his reflection, eyeing down his skin with suspicion. he narrows his gaze on his neck and almost flinches back in shock as he spots something inconceivable. four scarred over circles on the side of his neck, a bit darker than his normal skin tone. a vampire bite. his hands quickly come up to grasp at the patch of skin. he runs his fingertips over the blemishes, but he feels nothing but smoothness there like normal. the bites were healed, but they weren't there the night before, he would know.

vampire bites didn't heal that quickly, but sylus's body was strong enough to recover in record time. in fact, most his scars disappeared after a day or so - but that only further supported the idea that these bites happened recently. most definitely in the eleven hours he abnormally slept. this realization makes sylus stumble back until his back presses against the bathroom wall. "is this some sort of joke? are the twins doing this?" he mutters to himself in disbelief. "how... there's no possible way a vampire could've gotten into the n109 zone, there's no possible way one got into my... my fucking house." a wave of fear washed over sylus. fear was an emotion long forgotten by his brain but in this moment, with the possibility that the security of the entire n109 zone was jeopardized, he felt true fear. quickly, he swipes his robe off of the floor and turns off the shower. he leaves the bathroom and scours his room with intensity, throwing various furniture and items around like a man gone mad.

where was the little piece of shit? how was he supposed to know at what point a vampire got into his estate - bypassing all his new security - and then feasted on him like he was free meat. the mere idea of his privacy and defense being knocked down so easily after everything... everything he's done, it was insanity. there was no vampire in his room, obviously. he figured that as soon as he flipped the bed upside down only to find his bedframe. but there was the entirety of the estate left. in fact, there was the twins left. the thought of the two suffering from their transformation shot panic through sylus, causing him to fly toward the elevator in his room and bang its button to beckon it. at least his body was strong enough to repel the actual mutation of vampirism, and even then, he was suffering obvious side effects. but the twins? they were just boys to him; they weren't anything close to being capable of handling that type of pain. sylus rides the elevator down a few floors to where the twins' room were and then bolts out at soon as the doors open. please, please, please. luke. kieran. bang. bang. bang. "luke, kieran! are... are you guys in there?!" bang. bang. bang. "luke! kier-" "boss, what the hell?!" sylus turns his head toward the end of the hall where luke and kieran were standing. they wouldn't lie, sylus was scaring them a little. a wave of relief washes over sylus as he sees their normal, healthy forms. albeit, they were flinching a little but they were normal. "you two..." sylus whispers, "you two are okay, right?" the twins glance at each other and then turn back to sylus. they nod. "y...yeah?" kieran stutters unsurely. "why? did something happen?" sylus tenses but shakes his head profusely. he lowers his arms off their adjacent bedroom doors and steps slowly toward them. "no, no, nothing happened. i just... had a bad dream about you two. i... wanted to make sure you guys were safe." the twins make another glance to each other. "really boss?" luke remarks, "you had a nightmare? that's never happened to you before. are you sure you're okay?" sylus almost wants to smile at luke's naivety, but he remembers the situation he is in. "that's what you're focusing on?" kieran chimes in, sounding rather happy. "boss is back to caring about us! yay! we don't have to worry about being orphan crows anymore!" luke shoves kieran's side with his elbow, reprimanding him for so openly talking about their fear of abandonment to sylus like this. "ow!" sylus watches the two for a moment, thanking the skies that they weren't harmed. but this revelation opened up a new basket of questions. why did this vampire only target him? were they only trying to take him out? before he could ponder on these questions for any longer, he once again reminds himself that it was only him who knew about this - as far as he was aware. at the very least luke and kieran didn't know, and he intended to keep it that way. "guys," sylus murmurs with tension creeping up in his voice. he tries to quell it, but he couldn't exactly ignore the fact that he had been bitten. so fucking stealthily too. "guys, i'm going to need you two to stay in your rooms for today. i... have to run security checks on the estate and i just need... i just need to go through everything alone. no distractions." "hey we won't dis-" "please," sylus pleads, "please just listen to me. your chores at base today are cancelled, stay in your rooms." the twins seemed genuinely shocked at sylus's uncharacteristic begs. for the first time in a while, the despondent aura that sylus held was gone, now replaced with something they couldn't name. they felt an urge to listen. "okay boss, we'll stay in our rooms," kieran murmurs. luke doesn't verbally respond but nods. they passed by sylus and both headed into their respective rooms, leaving sylus alone in the hall. with a deep breath, sylus looks to the elevator and smiles in anger.

"i'm gonna find you... and then i'm gonna kill you with my bare hands." ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

desperate was the understatement of the century. sylus was in absolute shambles. he checked every fucking camera outside of his estate and nothing came about. he checked every security verification, every sensor, every authentication that was implemented in his estate and still nothing. but his estate wasn't his only concern. he called base to inquiry about the border security checks and for a list of every single person who entered or exited the n109 zone within the last two days. every single name on there was investigated on thoroughly, and still nothing. he was running on fumes at this point. despite his long, restful slumber, restful was the last thing sylus felt. the horror that ensued upon seeing his bites and then the fury that followed it were draining to his already exhausted body. but he could get no peace until he figured out what the actual hell was going on. the good news was, there didn't seem to be any reports of vampire bites within the n109 zone, as well as no reported cases of vampire sightings. that meant whoever was doing this wasn't attacking other people.

maybe not yet, but sylus would rip their limbs apart tortuously before they even got the chance.

this also meant this vampire was probably the only vampire within the n109 zone. statistically speaking, if there were a group of vampires that had infiltrated the empire, someone or some security check would've at least raised one warning flag and sent off a tip-off to base. but there were no such reports at base. in the same way the twins being safe drove sylus equally mad as he was relieved, these new findings did the same. "so you're telling me..." sylus chuckles incredulously under his breath while flitting his gaze between the various screens in front of him, "that little bitch snuck into my land, my territory, and into... ha... my bedroom... to bite me and only me. eager way to assert your dominance... going straight for the top dog." sylus was talking to himself as he had been the last several hours of investigating. he was equal parts fearful, frustrated, impressed, and an innumerable of other feelings. how was he supposed to catch what was seemingly a new breed of ghost vampire? and how was he supposed to feel secure in his position - in his home - knowing that a vampire had snuck into the n109 zone and infiltrated his estate, all while bypassing security. the disbelief of a smile on his face morphed into a grit of anger. sylus stands up from his chair, almost knocking it over with force, and clenches his fists. the security room in his estate was dark and was only illuminated by the white and blue lights that came off of the camera screens. this new room was a part of the mansion upgrade, and yet all of its capabilities served fruitless. "fuck, i can't do anything. i can't... do anything. how can't i do anything?!" sylus's voice was getting progressively louder and more frustrated with every realization. arguably the most powerful man on this side of the world couldn't do anything. he begins to pace. "i can't let anyone know," he murmurs to himself, "fuck, if anyone finds out then my entire empire comes down. if it was found out that a vampire infiltrated the n109 zone and my estate under my watch, it'll be absolute mayhem. i can't. fuck, what am i supposed to do?" the fumes must've been working overtime in sylus's brain, because an idea that makes him halt pops up. "base." he rushes to the intercom by the computerized table in the security room and makes an urgent call to the base of onychinus. he waits for a few seconds anxiously but soon hears a familiar voice. "yes, sir?" one of the heads officers of base answer, recognizing sylus's call. "all the vampiric prototypes you have, and i mean every single weapon, send them over to my main estate. i'm giving you all 2 hours maximum to send them or else i'm coming down there myself and ripping all your contracts in front of your faces. then i’m kicking you to the curb."

“but sir, i thought you said you weren’t satisfi—“

“send. them.”

the resolution in sylus’s voice was something not to be trifled with. the voice on the other end keeps quiet for a moment but then responds the next.

“they will be there in the hour, sir.”

the officer was wrong. they were delivered in the half hour.

the sheer amount of prototypes that were hauled down to sylus’s security room was impressive. sylus watched every single second of the process until every shipment that base brought with them was stashed in the room. they were organized by weapon and then by size, having all the small handguns in one corner and then all BMG sniper rifles in another corner. the room was an eyesore of metal cases, but each case housed a weapon that could potentially kill that vermin of a vampire with efficiency and ease. the sight brought premature retribution to sylus's soul. god forbid he comes face to face with the poor creature. he'll commend them for being so stealthily and intelligent but then kill them in the next breath he'd take. killing so intimately was not sylus's forte, but that's what he felt reduced to at this point.

after base made their final rounds of delivery, sylus was left alone in the security room with his new weapons of vengeance. he steps forward toward one of the cases in the silver section of the weaponry. silver was said to be a vampire's weakness, but also hard to source. carefully, he opens one of cases housing a silver assault rifle and admires the shine on the barrel. it came with silver high-caliber bullet tips and a silencer. in one go, he found his main weapon. sylus smiles to himself and stands with the case, leaving the rest of the cases in the security room for now. he would put those to use at some point, but overloading himself with weapons around the estate would only cause him more trouble. he needed one good gun. he now has one good gun. despite mumbling to himself for the past few hours and feeling like he was slowly going insane, sylus was now quiet in the ride up to his office. his vulnerability was now masked by his armory of weapons, and he would put all of them to use if needed. walking into the room, sylus places the case down on his desk and looks around suspiciously. being paranoid was new too, wasn't it? slowly, he strides around and pulls one of the cabinet drawers to take out a small handheld mirror. he's refused to look at himself since he first found the bite. he raises the mirror and angles it toward his neck, right over the area where the bite was. the scar was almost completely gone now but the discoloration was just faintly there. he could almost visualize the arch of the vampire's teeth sinking into his skin and making him bleed a dinner out for them. it makes him shudder and groan in frustration. quickly, he places the mirror down and swallows. as much as she wanted to get to the bottom of this now, he needed to wait. there was no finding an untraceable vampire. he sighs and slowly lowers himself onto his desk chair. the heat and dizziness that plagued him that morning was practically non-existent now. other than his frustration, sylus felt no different physically. it brought him some sense of reassurance to know he couldn't easily be transformed, but not everyone was like him. in fact, luke and kieran were still practically hidden away in their rooms because of that very fact. "mm, god im exhausted," sylus rumbled with a hand rub to his temples. when his eyes adjust open again they catch a glimpse of something on his desk. he furrows his brows and reaches out for the stray paper, bringing it up to his face. it's that woman again. the one from philos. the one dead. he frowns. "you're torturing me too, yknow?" he chuckles hollowly, "why can't i seem to... know you? you should know your people were horrible pieces of shit. were you a horrible piece of shit like them? you probably were, everyone there was. everyone but..." he trails off, a distant memory in his head failing to reach him. "i don't know actually. hopefully you weren't as miserable as the people of philos. you're too..." he trails off again and stares at the woman's picture. "too kind-looking."

sylus continues to stare at the report for a few more moments before realizing he was talking to himself again-or rather, to a piece of paper. a death certificate. he places the paper down and tilts his head back, softly laughing at himself. "i've gone fucking crazy."

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over a week had passed since the initial incident. every "morning" to "night", sylus spent his time obsessively watching the cameras in his home and scouring the area with his rifle. the twins were quarantined in their rooms for hours on end at a time, and neither of them got a straight answer as to why. right now, sleep was not an option. losing his empire was more important than losing sleep, and this one son-of-a-bitch was threatening the safety of his entire sovereignty. sylus's days dragged on endlessly with routine checks and guarding keeping his body awake at every hour. as much as he hated to admit it, the lack of sleep was genuinely getting to his already muddled brain, making it harder to think properly and function. his human body had limitations his former self didn't, it seemed. his movements were fussy and staggered. he thought it had been days but what if it had been weeks since the bite? was he really worried about something that happened so long ago? he could no longer be sure. but the safety of his empire, of luke and kieran, of his life was not a joke. sylus makes his 73rd round down the same hall that his office was in. the mess inside was cleaned sometime during his manic state, but he couldn't properly remember. his legs grew tired and ache-y from all of his patrolling. it felt like he was being tortured but all of this was his decision to do. slightly defeated, even more-so exhausted, sylus slid down the wall of the hallway and held his silver rifle tightly in his hands. he could still patrol with his eyes of course, just right here. his eyes moved back and forth from one end of the hall to the other, slowly, attentively, drowsily. he kept his sharp ears open for any noises but all he heard was the ambience of his estate. he had worn himself out to the bone. sylus was more susceptible than he thought. his eyes closed.

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"boss! boss! boss wake up! boss!"

sylus's eyes shoot open to see luke and kieran standing over him. their gloved hands were firm on his shoulders and arms as the two shook him with vigor. "boss! there's someone in the estate! boss!" a surge of panic and adrenaline pump into sylus's veins. he quickly stands to his feet and tightens his grip on the gun. "where?! where?! tell me, where are they?!" "we caught them!" kieran yells. "they were in the security room, but we brought them to your office and caught them!" luke adds on. sylus's eyes widen. he figured the twins brought whoever the hell this was to his office because it was the most heavily secured placed in the estate, so the idea of this perpetrator being just a few doors down made sylus triumph. he would thank the twins later. "stay right here. don't even think about moving an inch." this newfound sense of both relief and excitement empowered sylus and every footstep he took toward his office door. slowly, carefully, he unlocks the door with his facial and finger scans before ensuring the twins were still in their same position and then clicking it open. the gun was held up, ready to fire at any given moment once he saw the source of his torture behind his door. the door opens fully and then closes behind him. his eyes scour the area before landing on the anomaly in the room.

a person.

a girl. you. tied up and blinfolded in the corner of the room, unmoving but breathing. he grins and inches closer to you until a mere few feet away. "thought you could play around with me?" he gruffs. "you don't know what you've gotten yourself into. who are you?" you don't answer. he notices your breathing is slow and a bit labored, which was strange given your circumstances. what was stranger was the complexion on you wasn't gaunt or grey-out like a vampire at all, but you still weren’t supposed to be here. sylus narrows his eyes at you and grits his teeth. if you weren't going to answer he would get the answers himself. he leans down to you and pulls the blindfold around your head off with an aggressive yank. the moment it's gone you look up at him, eyes half lidded and drained of energy. soulless. empty. sylus knew that type of look in someone's eye. the look before death. "who are you and how did you manage to bypass my security?" sylus repeats, tone just slightly softer. "answer me or i'll torture it out of you." he watches you open your mouth only for no noise to come out. you were obviously struggling, but with what? sylus didn't know. sensing there was no immediate threat, sylus lowers his gun and knits his brows together in confusion and agitation. "what is it?" he asks.

no answer. "are you playing some type of game? you bypass my security, sneak into my estate, and what? now you're dying? fucking joke right?" you open your mouth again but no noise. this time around, sylus spots it. your teeth, sharp canines on both the top and bottom rows. vampire. a low chuckle escapes him. this was near unbelievable. "vampire. you're the goddamn vampire who bit me and somehow got away with it for all this time. i should thank you, though, you taught me im not as weak as i thought i was and that you're not as strong as i thought you were." you twitch slightly and cough. "b...blood... p...please..." you sputter out in an extremely hoarse voice.

sylus was almost taken aback by your words. you were asking for blood. from who? from him? he didn't believe you had the audacity, but it seems like you did. "blood? blood?" he laughs heartily and clutches his chest. "what makes you think i want to feed you and keep you alive? do you hear yourself?” the surprises just kept coming as tears fell from your face. your clenched expression and obvious pain were a sight to behold, a sight that sylus couldn't exactly bring himself to enjoy. he didn't like seeing torture, if he killed, he did so instantaneously to avoid torturing anyone. but you looked like you suffered just as much as sylus had. he frowns in disgust at his empathy but it was all quickly replaced by keen interest. he squints his eyes at you and feels an unsettling sense of familiarity crowd his chest. where... where did he know his feeling from? sylus quickly stands and rushes over to his desk to grab the rogue piece of paper that never left from there. he brings it back to your form and holds it up to compare the faces. it was uncanny, unreal, unbelievable.

you were the woman in the death reports? nothing made sense anymore. maybe this was the final stage of insanity. but before sylus could even register another thought he hears your voice again, this time more broken and desperate. "blood... p..please blood... please." he stilled. what was he supposed to do? at this point he knew he couldn't let you die, not with all this mystery around you, but what he supposed to do?

you cry out again, using all of your left energy to plead. "pl..please... blood... please! p..please!" he slowly puts down the paper and stares at you. despite knowing this was you in the death report, he still couldn't shake off the feeling he knew you from somewhere. he could almost feel you. deep inside his chest somewhere he felt your presence there.

you weren't some ordinary "person" that was for sure.

he almost thought against it, but his body moved before his brain could catch up. slowly, he crouches down and inches toward you up until your face was hovering over his shoulder. he cups your head from behind and pushes you further into his form. "shh, drink."

a/n: thanks if u made it this so far, lol. chapter 2 soon!

[vervepain]

Supercorp head canon: Lena Luthor hates kale. It’s the literal worst. She just…hates heart disease and high cholesterol more. Which run in her family on both sides. And Lionel was diabetic. Lex was pre-diabetic but wouldn’t do anything about it. So Lena just eats super clean, gets her steps in, does three sessions of zone three cardio a week, and resistance trains.

Initially, Kara thinks these are all attributes of her CEO type-A lovable neuroses. Until Lena is waiting for her annual bloodwork…and has a panic attack. And makes a kale smoothie.

And that night Lena explains that Kara is actually correct, kale is vile but it’s a good source of fiber. And she went through a phase where she ate an unhealthy amount of raw spinach. Lena explains that her family has bad metabolic genetics. And Kara is just like:

So the kale will help you live longer?

And Lena half shrugs, nods, hopefully?

Suddenly, a change occurs. Kara Danvers cannot get enough kale. Have you ever had an air fried pot sticker? Kara just ate fifteen. And she had a side of bok choy.

Lena kind of can’t belive it. Because sure eating super healthy is something she prioritizes, but it’s a downer when no one else around her is doing it? Like Alex and Kelly eat healthy…but it’s not extreme. Nia sometimes makes questionable choices in energy drinks but generally Lena thinks she has a balanced diet. Kara eats as though she auditioning for the role of human dumpster in Dumpster Fire the Musical.

Until suddenly, Kara doesn’t. Suddenly when the super friends go out to eat and Lena gets a goat cheese salad, Kara gets one too. Kara always sees if they can add chicken though. Kara likes to make soups and that winter they eat hearty stews and delicious curries. And one day it just—Lena has to ask.

“Kara why are you eating like—?”

“Like you?” Kara says setting down the last plate she was drying. She walks over and lifts Lena onto the counter. So she can stand between her legs. “Because I like you?” She pecks Lena’s cheek. “I want you around forever. And if eating this way is going to help, you bet your bucket, I’m eating kale with every meal.”

Lena blushes.

“Not every meal.”

“No.” Kara says crinkling up her nose. “I also read in one of those books? About like marriage and family life.” Lena’s eyebrows go up. “You know books about how to be married and like raise kids?” Lena did know..:but not that Kara was reading that. “I just figure it will be easier to teach good nutrition habits to our children if you and I are on the same page about nutrition values now.”

Which is , great, but Lena is surprised to know Kara Danvers is planning to raise apparently multiple children with her, when last time she checked they were still platonic best friends.

“Kara, are we dating?” Lena asks.

“No, I don’t think so. Not yet. Soon though,” and then the Kryptonian turns around to finish putting away silverware.

“Would you want to go out on a date?”

“Yeah. I’m not picky. I mean,” here Kara gestures to Lena’s penthouse where Kara does basically live. “On Krypton…like we’d be considered married already. So um, I’m good with whatever. Dating first? Just straight to a wedding. Or even just filing a marriage certificate.” Lena is still on the counter, and it feels like the whole world has vanished from under her perch.

“You would marry me tomorrow?”

“Culturally, Lena, I married you ages ago. And I should have said something. It’s okay if you don’t want this. I will get my stuff out of here tonight, but—“ Lena leapt into Kara’s surprised arms. They kissed, twirling in the kitchen.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Do you have a snoot noodle or other variation of sighthound? If yes, there’s new heart health research for the breed happening!

A researcher at Texas A&M whose work I’m familiar with is starting a new study looking at genetic factors contributing to heart disease in Borzoi and related breeds. They just put out a call for dog owners who are willing to submit saliva samples & (noodle) medical records. Studies like this need a big sample size! They’re accepting new sign-ups starting now until March 1, 2025, for dogs both in the US and internationally.

Let’s help make some science!

From the study page:

“Background and purpose

Recent research in Borzoi dogs has revealed that dogs of this breed experience sudden, unexplained death. About 85% of sudden, unexplained deaths in humans are linked to an underlying heart disease. Our existing research in Borzoi dogs has shown that they are predisposed to developing arrhythmias (abnormal heart rhythms) and dilated cardiomyopathy (a heart muscle disease causing dilated heart chambers and weak pumping function).

Due to our documentation of the frequency of these conditions in Borzoi dogs, we seek to identify responsible genetic variations similar to what is seen in humans with electrical cardiac diseases that trigger arrhythmias and dilated cardiomyopathy.

The objective of our study is to identify genetic mutations associated with heart disease in Borzoi dogs and document their existence in other sighthound breeds.

What happens in this study

We are collecting saliva samples from both healthy Borzoi and Borzoi dogs affected with arrhythmias and/or dilated cardiomyopathy. We will also collect saliva samples from any other sighthound breeds.

We will extract DNA from these samples and perform genomic sequencing on a select number while retaining the remainder for further screening.By analyzing the sequencing data, we can compare the genes of healthy and affected Borzoi dogs and identify variants linked to their heart conditions. We will also compare the findings in Borzoi dogs to results from other sighthound breeds.

Pet owner responsibilities

A swab kit will be sent to you for at home use along with a link to an instructional video on how to properly obtain a swab of the mouth. The kit will contain equipment to collect the saliva swab, a history form for your pet, a client consent form and a shipping label to return samples to us.

Participation requirements

To participate, you must have a Borzoi dog or a sighthound breed that is either healthy or affected by arrhythmias and/or dilated cardiomyopathy. Pets may be any age or sex. Electronic or paper veterinary medical records will need to be provided.

Benefits and risks of participating

There is little to no risk for taking a brief swab of the mouth for saliva collection if procedures outlined in the video are followed. No individual genetic test results will be provided to study participants.

Compensation

There is no cost to the owner for participating in this study. No compensation will be provided.”

[nagichi-boop]

Gerald’s Journal - Disability representation

I read scans of Gerald’s Journal and I have to talk about it. Not the lore or anything like that, but the disability rep. I didn’t expect to cry reading this.

Please don’t look at this post if you don’t want to be spoiled about what’s in this journal. If you do want to read it, you can find scans here. Credit to this Twitter/X thread for the images I’ll use.

I don’t have much to say about this image, but it is nice to see Maria using a mobility aid. It’s not often we get representation for an ambulatory wheelchair user.

I do wonder about Maria’s relationship with her parents. They weren’t happy with Gerald’s wish to bring her to the ARK so that he could research a cure for her, but they let her go anyways? Maybe Gerald got some sort of order to get her to go or Maria decided she wanted to go with him, but it seems a little odd to me. I’ll expand on this a little later.

Quote from right page: “[Maria] is growing into a lovely young woman. It breaks my heart that someone as bright and energetic as her is diminished by disease. There are no visible effects, and I’ve caught my fellow researchers muttering to each other, doubting her illness. It is infuriating. I find all my reason and restraint vanished when she’s slighted.”

Oh my days, I’ve never felt so seen by a piece of media and it just so happens to be my special interest video game. I am tearing up again thinking about this. Maybe that’s silly but to have a character express his frustrations about people doubting the invisible disability of his grandchild is so touching. I wish people in my life were more like Gerald. People with invisible illnesses get doubted so much because we “look fine”, but it’s so invalidating to have your struggles questioned just because the symptoms aren’t as visibly obvious.

Quote from left page: “[Maria] doesn’t know the full scope of what [Shadow] has been designed for, but she understands he will be under tremendous strain. She’s helped me conceptualize a number of accessories that will help focus his power and aid in his mobility.”

So we now have confirmation that Shadow’s air shoes and inhibitor rings are akin to mobility aids. I headcanoned this but I didn’t know they’d flat out confirm it like that. My favourite character is canonically disabled physically (and I’d argue mentally given his PTSD). I don’t have much to say about this besides being happy that my favourite character is now even more relatable.

It also makes a lot of sense for Maria to help create them because she has experience with her own disability and can offer a perspective that an able bodied person couldn’t. That and it makes Shadow’s connection so much stronger. His mobility aids were designed by Maria. He didn’t just help her with her disability - she helped with his. He wouldn’t be able to function without what she and Gerald created for him.

Quote from the right: “Back on Earth [Maria’s?] parents have been blessed with another little girl. They’re already run tech(?) and she has none of the genetic markers like to [Maria’s] condition. While this was welcomed news, the unspoken commentary was received loud and clear.”

(I am assuming they’re talking about Maria’s sister, but I guess they could also be talking about her cousin.)

So did Maria’s parents see their new daughter as a replacement? If I’m reading that correctly, it’s so sad. Do you think Gerald told Maria about her sister/cousin? If she did know about it, I bet she was excited to meet her. But I get the feeling that her parents back home didn’t really care about her anymore given what Gerald says in his journal. It hurts that much more when you consider how much Maria wanted to go home, perhaps even return to her family.

I feel like all of this makes Maria’s death more tragic for both Gerald and Shadow. For Gerald, he did so much reason and sacrificed so much in order to try and find a cure for Maria. He supported her when no one else did. And from his perspective, despite her illness and the judgement of others, including potentially her own family, she was still positive. And yet she was killed, and he only found out about her death because of a report that had her name on it (I think anyways?).

From Shadow’s perspective, she is the person who gave his name meaning. Despite most being distant and weary of her, she was immediately friendly to him and helped teach him about the world. She helped created the devices used to reduce his pain and control his powers. He quite literally carries part of him with her. She was his sole reason for existing for a long time. And despite being this super supportive, kind, loving person, she was killed. I can imagine him being mad at Gerald for messing with his memories, but I figure there’s a degree of understanding, even if he doesn’t fully agree with what Gerald did. The difference between them both is Shadow’s purpose shifted beyond Maria while Gerald’s did not. Anyways, I digress - this post is about disability rep, not Shadow lore.

I love this and Dark Beginnings for their direct and indirect disability rep. My love for Shadow and Maria has only grown and I have a deeper appreciation for Gerald. I wish more people were as understanding as he is towards people with invisible disabilities.

I don’t really have a conclusion. I just really wanted to yap about the journal entries.

[our-ftm-experience]

A brief guide to Testosterone HRT

If you’d like the one for Estrogen HRT, ask in the comments and you shall receive.

Image from the Transpeak Discord - unsure of actual source (a clinic?) (if anyone knows, please tell!)

Alternate text under the cut

Alt:

What is the goal of testosterone therapy?

Testosterone has two main jobs: It causes masculinizing changes to occur throughout the body, and it suppresses the production of estrogen. Some of the changes caused by testosterone are permanent (they would remain if testosterone was stopped), and other changes are reversible.

How is testosterone administered?

Testosterone is available as injections, cream, or gel. Injections are administered either every two weeks intramuscularly (into the muscle) or every week subcutaneously (under the skin). Nursing staff provides injection training here at clinic. Creams and gels are absorbed through the skin and applied daily.

What are the irreversible effects of testosterone?

Testosterone causes voice deepening, clitoral growth, body/facial hair growth, and sometimes male-pattern balding (also influenced by age and genetics). Testosterone may irreversibly affect fertility. Desires for fertility should be considered prior to starting hormones, and for those seeking fertility preservation (or education about fertility preservation), referrals can be made to Lurie’s fertility preservation team.

What are some of the reversible effects of testosterone?

Testosterone causes increased muscle tone, fat redistribution (hips to stomach area), skin oiliness and acne. Mood changes (often irritability, having a “shorter fuse”) and heightened sex drive may occur. Menstrual cycles will change and eventually stop after some time. There may be genital changes caused by low estrogen levels.

What are some of the known side effects and risks of testosterone?

Testosterone may increase your metabolic risk profile — that is, the risk for conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol or blood pressure. The risk for heart disease is higher for people who smoke cigarettes, are overweight or have a family history of heart disease.

Testosterone causes hematocrit, the proportion of red blood cells in a volume of blood, to increase. This blood thickening, at high levels, can be life-threatening, causing stroke or a heart attack.

Testosterone can also cause increased appetite, headaches, and acne.

A low-detail diagram of the upper half of three bodies is displayed. From left to right, the bodies represent having been on testosterone for little to no time (a month or less), a medium amount of time (six to eight months) and a greater amount of time (a year or more).

The diagram is a visual representation of testosterone effects on the body. Hip mass shifts to the stomach area, The adam’s apple grows. Muscle mass grows and shoulders become broader. Facial and body hair grows on the arms, face, and assumably the legs not displayed in the image. The skin gets oily and acne appears on the face.

Testosterone affects: skin, muscle mass, body fat, body hair, voice change.

Increased skin oiliness and acne starts within 1-6 months of testosterone. Its complete effect can be within 1-2 years.

Increased muscle mass and strength starts within 6-12 months of testosterone. Its complete effect can be within 2-5 years. This effect is highly dependent on the amount of exercise one does.

Voice pitch deepening starts within 6-12 months of testosterone. Its complete effect can be within 1-2 years.

Body fat redistribution starts within 3-6 months of testosterone. Its complete effect can be within 2-5 years.

Facial and body hair growth starts within 6-12 months of testosterone. Its complete effect can be within 3-5 years.

Monthly periods stop within 2-6 months of testosterone.

Clitoral enlargement of 0.5 inches to 1 inch begins within 3-6 months of testosterone. Its complete effect can be within 1-2 years.

Male pattern hair loss starts when you have been on testosterone for over a year. Its complete effect date is variable. It depends on age and genetics, and can be minimal.

Sex drive also increases.

How do we monitor for safety?

Labs (bloodwork) are collected prior to starting hormones and every three months for the first year of treatment. In the second year, labs are checked every six months. Tests that are monitored include cholesterol, liver tests, hematocrit, and hormone levels. These labs can be drawn at Lurie’s or a local facility.

How quickly will changes develop?

Remember, it’s normal to want to see changes occur rapidly, but (just like in puberty) these changes take time! Most changes start to begin around 3-6 months after starting testosterone and take years to fully develop.

Will I look like my friend _____?

Remember, everyone experiences puberty differently. Factors other than testosterone (such as genes!) affect appearance. It’s impossible to predict exactly what changes will develop.

It’s important to take the prescribed dose of testosterone. Taking more increases health risks.

Always tell your health care provider if you have questions or concerns about your health.

[sunieepo]

This is Eman a Biotechnologist from Gaza. Asking for help is not easy. It's not easy at all. You have no idea how mentally and emotionally tiring this is. But when thinking that the price is my family's life, getting out of here safely and achieve my doctoral degree dream, it just pushes me more and more to do this until we reach our goal. I'm here as I try to reach out to more people asking for their help to support our family's campaign so we can survive while all you have to do is literally donating even by just the price of your morning coffee or maybe a simple breakfast, So I think I'm not asking for so much. We're really tired of living under these catastrophic conditions for a whole 10 months. Your generosity will not only change our lives but also remind us that even in our darkest hour, we are not alone. https://gofund.me/d597b8e2

Hi there, Eman. I'm a biotechnologist just like you. I looked up your work and saw your research on identifying genetic risk factors for ischemic heart disease and celiac disease. That's really admirable work, and I hope you can one day achieve your dream of studying for your PhD in Malaysia. For now, I've donated what I can to try and keep you and your family safe.

Clickable URL to the page: https://gofund.me/d597b8e2

Note for my followers that I have checked this blog and can confirm this fundraiser is vetted.