#He's also a boat so he can be a he/him lesbian if he wants

[firecooking]

Here me out, in the tugs fandom there are 3 depictions of captain zero

1. Shitty mustache ( looks like it's pencil drawn)

2. Mustache that curls into a zero ( it curling to represent how he's the antagonist and also it resembles a 0 )

3. No mustache ( because he's either terrible at facial hair or artist just didn't draw him with one)

In your au is there an inside joke that zero can't grow proper facial hair?

I have been a conosuier of human Captain Zero's for years, and that theory does hold water!

I think the only Zero I can think of until a few that cropped up around this year with a beard that was drawn more than once is Dan-the-countdowner's over on deviant art. God speed Dan you where like the only guy drawing human Captains for years.

Also, your asks are always on deck in my ask box when I have a few minutes of free time, please don't think I'm ignoring them, sometimes it takes me a while to formulate my answers. Also I don't often do drawing requests, but I make an exception for my TUGS au's!

Anyways, on to my au! There will be a detailed explanation under the read more but tldr:

When Zero was a younger man he always kept himself clean shaven, after his time in he army he attempts to grow a mustache, which was universally hated and every one regarded as a bad move. Post War 1918-pre Zip 1920 is lovingly known as the rat years in the photo albums that reside around Zero Marine Bigg City.

Before the Great War Captain Zero clean shaved every morning, brushed out, cared for, and styled his hair, and generally looked put together and intentional despite living with rather wild, wavy, longer hair. I picture him around a 2b/2c if he makes an attempt to care for it but when he's not doing anything particular its just a frizzy/fluffy 2a, he has pretty fine hair so it's never consistent unless Zero makes the effort. His hair keeping short also makes it less wavy than it might be if he let it grow out.

He'll never admit it but he never really liked looking anyone in the eyes as a young man, and he still doesn't like it. His long bangs covering his face made him feel more calm and helped hide the fact he was avoiding eye contact.

When he signed up for the draft, Star had made a few passing comments about his hair, but Zero never thought anything of it. He's always remembered Star had had longer hair, and the Army wasn't that different to the navy, right?

After he was drafted and was in training, one of the first things that happened was his hair was trimmed back to fit in his helmet better and his daily grooming routine was reprimanded as a waste of time for a medic. He was told to change it or lives would be lost. So change it he did. This change consisted of not doing his hair routine save for 'basic maintenance' [ie, none] as needed, and only shaving one or twice a week, his facial hair never did grow very fast and was rather sparse anyways.

When he got back from the war, he vowed to grow his hair back out, but he was a different man returning home.

With his new found free time in the mornings meant he could always find time for tea and some breakfast. Making for a slightly less 'tired bitch of a captain' according to his three tugboats [data gathered from eaves dropping on their nightly poker games]. With his shaving routine fully altered and him no longer being picky about being clean shaven, he decided to try out facial hair, his father always maintained a beard, so why couldn't he? Genetics were on his side! He often forgets he's adopted.

It never did grow in fast, or very full. Even with Zorran's best efforts to help, Zero never really had more than a slightly bushy mess. And his hair never really got back to it's same length/health after the war, he always blamed it on the fact it was cut back, and not the fact he was a depressed mess after Europe who had stopped grooming almost entirely for years.

When Zip was due to be christened, Zero finally went down to a barbers shop to get himself cleaned up for the photographs at the urging of his tugboats and mother.

The barber took one look at him and told him the mustache needed to go and that his hair was initially damaged from lack of care during the war and then exacerbated by lack of care after. Zero on a whim let the man do what he felt was right, it was a new decade after all.

Zero's up cut was initially very low maintenance for him and he quite preferred it that way. Zero didn't keep up steam with his hair care the same way he did before the war, but he could manage to brush it in the morning to keep it from getting as bad as it had been.

Once Zasha comes into his life and he realized she has much curlier hair than he ever did [a mix of 3 b/c], he starts to pick hair maintenance back up as he learns how to take care of her hair. He's gotta be a role model and a good father after all. He still never gets back to how he was before the war, but at least his hair is healthy instead of oily, frizzy, and out of place.

More importantly he's taking regular showers and grooming again. His tugs count both of those things as a win.

He never figures out why he was less particular about the way he looks after the war. He was living a life of crime before the war. In the army he never injured a soul or took a life, unlike his days collecting debts as an 'accountant.'

He doesn't see how the war to end all wars could have changed him.

[tjodity]

dsmp lesbian analysis post

this was based on a misreading of a different post so now im rating how lesbian dsmp characters are. no real criteria just going off of vibes from a lesbian. based vaguely on how lesbian they are and how much they might identify as lesbian

C!Phil- (4/10)-he has a wife so thats something. he's kinda forgone most identities by this point he just does what he wants

C!Tubbo-(1/10)-im sorry thats just some binary gay transmasc guy. he may have briefly been a lesbian in his early teens so he had an extremely on the spot explanation for schlatt abt dressing masc but he likes men (a lot) so he never really had any attachment to the label

C!Ranboo-(3/10)-they arent really interested in women but he's got a lesbian gender thing goin on. guy with a weird relationship to femininity

C!Dream-(2/10)-she actually is a lesbian but no ones told her that yet and she's probably not gonna figure it out on her own. mamacita was an egg cracking experience

C!George-(0/10)-im sorry i dont see it

C!Niki-(10/10)- trans curious bisexual woman who wears a trench coat and has ratty dyed pink hair and knows how to tie a lot of different kinds of knots and not for boat reasons. she's having a full boar gender and sexuality crisis starting during the election. dyke as a gender identifier probably wouldn't occur to her but she'd like it a lot. she'd also like the old flag with the axe

C!Sam-(2/10)-not really a lesbian at all but if puffy squints hard enough while theyre making out sad style she can act like he's a cute butch

C!Fundy-(3/10)-he doesnt really call himself a lesbian but whenever he has a crush on a woman he in his head says he's being gay for her. accidentally postponed niki's sexuality crisis by transitioning to a guy

C!Punz-(10/10)-look at him. look at him. butch lesbian who kinda acts like a dog for the girl she's obsessed with. religious horror toxic devotion yuri buff lady general tragedy we got it all. also tommyinnit certified look

C!Hbomb-(3/10)-she's mostly straight but a lot of her admiration of other women and learning to do femininity in a way she likes kinda aligns her with lesbians. she believes in their beliefs

C!Sapnap-(??/10)-kinda in a quantum state of lesbianism for me. could go either way honestly. if her fiances want her to be a girl she can be

C!Karl-(9/10)-karl set off everyone's lesbian radar they didn't know they had which was really confusing cause it presented like a gay cis guy for a long while. tubbo just happens to ask her abt gender once on a whim n she's like oh no im a girl thing :3 and everyone else freaks out cause it was just not correcting them. it likes flamboyant masc fashion and being confusing

C!Quackity-(10/10)-watch the quackhalo date stream if you haven't yet i'm begging you. bigender transfem girlguy guygirl who wants to be someone's girlfriend and have a girlfriend or multiple or many. she's running the full gambit of presentation in a bunch of combos

C!Badboyhalo-(5/10)-Quackity brings out the lesbian in her (she's a closeted transfem lady and it makes her very flustered when she realizes q's calling her his girlfriend.) the bigboobies in bigboobyhalo are the result of lots and lots of estrogen

C!Wilbur-(0/10) he doesnt know lesbians are real

C!Puffy-(7/10)-the best way i can describe puffy's gender is that she is earnestly trying to be as confusing contradictory and horny as possible and it's working. she's a lesbian but only when she's a guy or just extremely down bad for some lady and if you called her a dyke she'd moan

C!Slimecicle-(7/10)-lesbian as a gender thing. he doesn't like using typical words to describe his gender but lesbian is the closest to standard it'll go

C!Hannah-(10/10)-she likes women. A LOT. and also worked hard to become one. just a lot about women going on in her life

C!Schlatt-(???/10)-he's got some shit to sort through n maybe that'll be a realization he makes down the road

C!Foolish-(2/10)-if you tried hard enough you could make him one

C!Tina-(10/10)-many of her actions are motivated by the need to kiss a girl with teeth

C!Eret-(8/10)-strong yuriful vibes

C!Tommyinnit-(9/10)-they are fucking ATTACHED to that label you can pry it from their cold dead hands. she also likes boys n is more platoniromantic than anything but. lesbian critter right there it's important to her

C!Aimsey-(-1000/10)-killed your wife idiot

[tocomplainfriend]

It feels less like you want to address a real life problem to characters, but more like you want to have another of your characters you constantly baby and want others to fangirl over.

TW: Rape, SA, Racism, Stereotyping, Homophobia, Acephobia, Arophobia.

The representations of topics in media DOES affect real people.

Fiction can affect reality.

Let's start easy, Jaws. This goes back to Hazbin I promise.

"Since the release of Jaws in 1975, the world has witnessed a staggering decline of 71% in shark and ray populations, and around 100 million sharks are killed each year." (including multiple practices of mass hunting sharks in competition)

Both Steven Spielberg and the original writer Peter Benchley regret the movie and book. It's a big reason of the shark treatment, when it started by old fishermen worrying about shark biting people in the beaches they made money of.

Even if you aren't a shark killer yourself, a lot of things you believe of sharks are untrue myths that come from making sharks "evil" human killer animals. Sharks cannot smell blood from miles away, that's not even how water works, the particles of blood need to enter their nostrils. Sharks are not man eaters, they attack other prey animals before human. Shark attacks are extremely rare, even if they happen they are not justifiable to kill all sharks.

Sharks actually have personalities they can fit in, they are smart and recognize people and boats- and form positive relationships with people. They can even like getting pet by people.

Other level to represent other thing sin media that affects reality we can address Queer, representation as a topic.

I hope it is not a surprise for you... possible non-straight, non-cis person reading this. That the constant representation of gay man as kid predator is a problem. They used old commercial (PSA) to spread negative views of gay man. Media is used to spread messages and affect its viewer. This is, there are cartoons created by Jehovah witness (or similar religions) to spread their beliefs and teach to their children in an easy, digestible way.

Same with the amount of straight woman that went off to read shitty yaoi manga and fetishy gay wattpad stories, and went to sexualize and diminish queer men. Constantly making gay man's personality into bottom or top (uke and seme shit). I witness this irl, others have too.

Same with shitty men that view Lesbians as a porn machine for men, cause "monkey brain like woman, lesbian = two women". Which happens in general and adult media. All of these are EASY examples.

Another one which turns out many people don't think about. Having your representation of an AroAce character (on purpose or not) be the psychopath with no feelings. Associating the not being romantically or sexually to means you have no heart, to be abnormal, by then a psychopath. An abuse or serial killer.

Fiction does affect reality-

A racist film, 'Birth of the nation' Revived the KKK and let to all the discrimination, and the homicide of black people of centuries ahead.

-

Coming back around, how you treat the topic of SA, and r-pe- affects the real world. You would think someone who wrote that, had in mind on how that affects people in real life. Didn't you want to represent victims of SA/R-pe that are sex workers and male?

Reducing the r-pist, pimp, trafficker character to an air head to treat as silly is crazy to do. Specially as... oh idk... the creator? Both this and the tweet of the voice actor calling Val "Bubbles Coded" is so crazy. The character is also not deep enough by itself, it's pretty much Stupid and a R-pist sex trafficker. The tweet below Viv's fucking kills me too.

The fact Val is shown to be air head stupid doesn't delete he backed Angel (and by being a sex trafficker and a pimp, and him licking charlie that means he has multiple victims) into a corner and under his control. Too then abuse of him in many different ways. Manipulations are not only done by Super mastermind people, and representing it in such way diminished, affects people who have being manipulated and actually try to question if they have being or not. Manipulators can be normal, average people, they usually are not obvious. Even if Val is openly a shitty person that's really obvious, it doesn't detract from him being manipulative to people. The scene where Val threatens him in chains that is manipulation, his text messages are manipulation (even if you think it is too obvious to be successful).

How you represent SA/R-PE, and its perpetrators, do affect real life.

Going around and having your "serious R-pe episode", to then go in other episodes or the other series you are writing to make r-pe/sa jokes is terrible. For the person that directed the whole scene of poison to NOT be r-pe/sa victim (said by themselves) with a r-pe fetish with this character's in specific, to directed in the most graphic way possible is awful. To go around babying your r-pist character is crazy.

Hope you understand that this doesn't mean not treating any topic at all. Creators should be awere on how they treat topics and the scenarios they create with them, too. People and viewers need to also put their brain to understand the media they consume. But you can't always put all blame only on the viewers of a series, if media is messy is a fault of the media. You can criticize both.

You need to acknowledge Valentino is indeed a terrible person, You don't need to delete his actions or the weight of them.

I also just know that a lot of Val fans just like him to draw him in r-pe art and get their fetishized gay ship. Cause that's what they are into. You won't even do that with a woman, because you are into your fucked up fetishized gay porn from wattpad you never left behind.

If you like him, FUCK IT, just please take his abuse seriously. Don't default your entire usage, and view of the character to be 'uwufied' fandom stuff, please.

I hate how the topic has being treated, in and out of the show. I'm a victim, and I'm hurt by how these things are treated and knowing how it affects others. Even in things I haven't watched! Don't make the argument don't like it? Just don't watch it. The movies from the video of SA of men being a joke, many I haven't watch- that still affects over all. It's still a problem and it's disheartening.

Also have this:

[viquipo]

No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

[ask-spooky-manor]

Friendship Headcanons

Cause I’m feeling the wholesome vibes

I’m gonna talk about the friendships that have yet to be shown on the blog just so it doesn’t feel like I’m retreading familiar waters.

- Jane and Tim are very close. The lesbian and gay friends who constantly get mistaken for a couple kind of close. She’s the reason Tim’s wardrobe is actually cool and stylish and not him wearing flannel and jeans all the damn time. They also love to gossip together. Really it’s Jane doing all the gossiping and Tim is just listening and compiling a mental binder of dirt he has on everyone.

- Brian and EJ are best friends weirdly enough despite EJ being someone who tends to get annoyed easily and Brian is kinda sorta “too much” sometimes. Their back and forth banter makes it seem like they dislike each other, but it’s all in good fun. They actually care deeply for one another and are like the definition of ride or die.

- Because Nina is the only teenager, most of the others tend to baby her much to her annoyance. The only people who don’t really do that are Jane and Nat. They do their best to make Nina feel included without coming off as condescending. They also like to have girls night together.

- Nina and EJ have formed a rather close bond. It started when Nina finally accepted the fact she’s aromantic and looked to EJ for support as he’s also aromantic. He helped show her that being aromantic isn’t bad at all and that romance really isn’t the be all end all.

- Brian and Ben are also close friends. Again, rather odd when Ben gets overwhelmed easily and Brian is Brian. They’re actually gaming buddies and most of their time spent together is over voice chat as they play video games.

- Slender and Tim had a rather complicated dynamic at first. It really rattled Tim to learn that, while extremely distant, there is a familial tie between him and Slender. That being said, over time they have formed a connection that is basically like a father/son dynamic though Tim would rather relive the events of Marble Hornets than ever admit that

- Jeff and Sally are also in a similar boat. Sally is Jeff’s great aunt but obviously Jeff is the one who takes care of her. He is her main babysitter after all. Jeff subconsciously sees Sally as this second chance to actually be a good brother to someone.

- Toby and Brian are good buddies cause they can match each other’s energy. While most of the other manor residents prefer to have a night in, Brian and Toby will be out in the clubs and bars having a good time and making sure the other doesn’t die.

- A pair that surprised everyone but makes a lot of sense in hindsight is Slender and Jane. They have tea every other day and are part of a two person book club where they read the same book and discuss their opinions on it. Jeff desperately wants to be in the club, but he knows Jane will find a way to permanently kill him if he tries to worm his way in.

[b3m0r3ch1ll]

Falsettos lake day headcannons cuz i just got back from my 6th one this summer

• whizzer own a 30 foot 2000 Mariah boat (it’s blue) and all the lake days are planned by him and they take place in his boat

• fishing is banned because once mendel accidentally threw his line into the water where people were swimming and it hooked onto jason’s life jacket

• marvin hates boating but he does it to make whizzer and jason happy

• mendel is so scared of water it’s comical

• mendel goes to make trina happy and thinks she looks so pretty in her swimsuit

• jason loved to swim but he won’t get in the water unless whizzer or marvin throws him in (by choice he thinks it’s fun as hell)

• the lesbians and trina all drink wine with each other while they cruise

• whizzer has a limit to the amount of alcohol that can be consumed by each person because he’s responsible

• whizzer doesn’t drink on the boat (he’s so responsible)

• jason LOVES tubing and he forces marvin to go with him even though marvin is so done (he’s gotten thrown off like ten times)

• the lesbians also love tubing and whizzer throws them around cuz they like it

• jason has fallen off the tube ONE time and mendel dove in and started screaming because he couldn’t swim and marvin had to dive in after mendel (jason was fine he thought that shit was funny as hell) and he was calling mendel a pussy

i might do more just ask if u want more

[onepiece-polls]

One Piece Shipping War - Round 4 Quarter Finals

Propaganda under the cut.

Propaganda for Shanks x Buggy:

What if we were childhood friends who gave up our drama for each other then never saw each other again for years

What can I say, I'm a fellow shuggy truther too 🤝

Shanks obviously adores Buggy, and Buggy is so tsundure~! Mr 'I hate Shanks'-but-will-take-every-opportunity-to-talk-about-him-and-be-with-him.

Oden says in his journal that he can't tell if they're friends of enemies, and I just love that. Plus when you add in the revelation about Shanks and Buggy in the recent chapters.

They're childhood friends. They're exes. They've been married for 20 years. They're opposites. They're the same. They're silly goofy guys who make me want to cry my heart out. Red/Blue is always meant to be.

Buggy """""HATES""""" Shanks. This hate is so strong that he WILL yell at this red-haired bastard despite the fact that he is a coward, who is terrified of all the Emperors. Everyone thinks this is strange. However, when you grow up with said Emperor on the same boat, watching him stumble over his feet as he's trying to learn to use a sword, stuck scrubbing the whole deck because he was stupid enough to prank "Dark King" Rayleigh, and make that same stupid pouty face every time his Conqueror's Haki doesn't do anything because he is an itty bitty child, most of that fear gets pretty quelled. Also, that same fucker lost an arm because he's a DUMBASS and he deserves to be made fun of for it (not because Buggy is worried and missed him not at all no no Shanks is just DUMB and needs to be TOLD he is dumb more. But just by Buggy. Because Buggy has known his idiocy forever. He has earned the right to yell at this stupid, stupid Emperor for being a self-sacrificing fool and for giving away that stupid hat and... Wait, hang on, when did this bastard get hot!? WHAT THE FUC-) And Shanks just keeps smiling at Buggy and his antics because he has 100% been in love with him since they were children (his actions while they were on the Roger pirates are the DEFINITION of pigtail-pulling as flirting) and he is just happy to see that he's safe while being exactly the same larger-than-life clown he always knew. He would gladly give up his life of sluttery (that I am convinced this man has. Just look at how he exists) if Buggy would just agree to join his crew, but will not push him if he doesn't want to. He just loves his pretty clown from a distance and waits. TLDR: Buggy is mad that he's in love with Shanks and Shanks just likes existing with and/or annoying Buggy (they come as a pair). GOD I just love childhood friends to lovers bro. Just let the cabin boys kiss.

[Spoiler Warning] Red and Blue gays! Emperor husbands! Childhood friends to enemies to lovers!

Propaganda for Nami x Vivi:

Yes, Nami has a new girlfriend on every island, but her heart belongs to Vivi. Vivi in turn refuses to marry, because her heart belongs with a pirate ❤

THEY’RE LESBIANS! IN LOVE! another point: my friends who are watching OP for the first time came to me and asked “so Nami and Vivi… they’re gay right?” So it’s pretty apparent to even newcomers

I just think they’re neat! And in love. Nami gave up money for Vivi that’s True Love

Anyone who saw them can just tell they’re gay. Like Nami gave up money for her

They're one of the rare lesbian ships in op, they care for each other so much !!

Lesbians

Lesbians

They were so gay that Luffy offered to share food to cheer Nami up when they were separated.

i dare you to read Baroque Works through Alabasta without shipping them. the way Vivi and Nami are so affectionate with each other, and Vivi putting saving her nation on hold to get Nami healthy again ???

Lesbians

Let’s go lesbians!!!!! Ok but actually, I think Nami saw a lot of herself in Vivi (ha) especially when Igaram “died” and then throughout their journey together Nami really encouraged her to open up to the crew. Nami showed Vivi it was ok to ask for help just like Luffy showed her.

Vivi was Nami's gay awakening and you cant change my mind. Nami was in love with Vivi and Vivi def had some kind of feeling for Nami. They were so close and they were more then just 'gal pals'

Lesbian Pirate Supremacy! they clearly care a lot about each other and considering when nami meets vivi she is probably one of the first close female friends she gets to have.

[asmo-d3us]

No because I just got this phenomenal fanfic idea of the Marauders Era. It's a Pirates of The Caribbean AU, and Voldemort is Davy Jones, while Barbosa is Dumbledore.

James is in the place of William Turner. He’s the black smith for The Blacks (Swans, in the movies). He was found on a “boat” made from the wood from the broken down ship, and Regulus was the one who had seen him. He was the one who had told his parents to bring him aboard, and they did so, reluctantly.

Sirius isn’t Elizabeth Swan, he’s like an added character. The older brother of Elizabeth (Regulus), who grew up with James and they were best friends. He always thanks Regulus for saving him and Reg merely sighs because that’s his crush and he can't spend any time with him! Sirius falls in love with Remus Lupin who is a servant/maid for The Blacks (Crimson Rivers, anyone?)

Remus works for The Black family as a servant since his family is low in status and wealth. He does it for his parents, and because he thinks he’s a disappointment for them and he wants to do better. He’s also falling in love with Sirius Black but tries to hold himself back. He’s like that one servant/maid Elizabeth told to hide in the first movie. This means Reg and Remus (and maybe Lily?) friendship!! Maybe he often sneaks off with Sirius and James to hang out? Maybe he and Reg often speak about Sirius and James?

Peter is kind of playing Snape right now. He’s friends with Sirius and James, and also befriended Remus! He ‘works’ as a shop-keeper for science and stuff like that, but secretly, he’s also working for Voldemort (Davy Jones) as a pirate. So he’s a traitor and is keeping an eagle eye on both sides, but he sides with the good in the end (or the bad, if you’d like).

Lily is a hardcore lesbian who got promised by James for a lavender marriage if she doesn't find the love she deserves. James used to be into her because, who wasn’t? When they were kids, she was his crush, and they were expected to be together. She’s middle class, too. The crush James had on her fades slowly, but Sirius still teases them. She’s actually in love with her neighbor, Mary Macdonald.

Mary is also middle class, quite normal, yet she’s kind of like Belle. Always in a book, and “too smart for a girl”. She’s kind of thought of as a ‘witch’ and there’s suspicion around her for it. She often steps into Peter’s shop and requests watches, compasses, etc. and who is Peter to deny? He’s not like those guys. Yes, she’s also in love with Lily, but makes her work for it.

Marlene is also a pirate, but for Dumbledore (Barbosa). She’s wild and carefree, and not afraid to fight for her captain! She’s in love with her job and her role as a ‘vice captain’ and will always fight and boast about her role. So, you can imagine how she feels when mid battle with Voldemort’s crew, (The Death Eaters), she encounters Dorcas Meadowes, and falls head over heels in love with her.

Dorcas works for Voldemort without the want or the desire to be, but she does it for her family because otherwise, he’d easily kill them with a snap of his fingers. Voldemort is very wary towards her since he knows she’s powerful and as strong as him, and keeps an eye on her, and to do so, he made her his ‘vice captain’.

Regulus is Elizabeth Swan. He’s trans, and he knows it, yet he can’t do a thing about it. He wears dresses, his hair is long and curly, and his mascara feels too heavy on his lids. The reason why he transitions is because James tells him to embrace his true self, and to never look back at who he used to be, and that his family doesn’t control him anymore. He’s literally in the middle of an ocean, with pirates, and yet, he cuts his hair off, wears his brother’s clothes, and keeps his voice low.

Barty is the son of Bartemius Crouch Senior and plays the role of Jack Sparrow. Crouch Senior, who basically takes the place of Commodore Norrington, and despite the age gap, requests Regina Black (Regulus) as his wife. His son ran off to be a pirate and embrace his grandfather’s genetics. Everyone has heard of him, even Voldemort, who he at one point used to work for (that’s how he knew Dorcas, one of his best friends he misses dearly and knows he’ll reunite with one day). He’s in love with Regulus, yet hides it and knows it’ll never work for them. (Evan is right there, dumbass).

Evan is like Mr. Gibbs, he’s always around Barty and is his ‘vice captain’, fights with him, protects the ship with him, and also will never give up his love and hope for him and being with him. They do end up together, it just takes a long fucking time. (The sexual tension is high).

Pandora plays the role of Shansa, the ‘sea-witch’ that unwillingly works for Barbosa (Dumbledore). Dumbledore had died from the hands of his friend Snape (who’s now dead, or not), and got resurrected by Pandora. She’s now in “debt” and is forced to tell him his future and what he should do to be successful. She just wants to find her brother again.

Jegulus: Regina (Regulus) was on the ship with her brother, their parents wanted to bring them along since Sirius was the future heir of their family, and he wouldn’t leave the house without his sister. They were having fun around the ship, Regina 7 and Sirius 8 or 9, maybe even 10 because that means James would also be 10 and age gaps were pretty big back then. They were playing hide and seek and Regina was the one seeking Sirius. She glanced over to the ocean and saw James passed out and floating in the water on a wooden board. She called out, “FATHER, MOTHER, THERE’S A BOY IN THE WATER! COME, LOOK!” Her father came running and so did Sirius from his hiding spot. They saved him, Regina saw his necklace and that he was a pirate, Sirius also saw the necklace and they decided to hide it from everyone, even James himself (he'd probably find out about it the same way Will did in the movies), they found out his name was James, and they basically saved him. Now in present times, he’s their family blacksmith (or the blacksmith’s (Aberforth) assistant, really), but the blacksmith gets all the credit even though he doesn’t do shit and James does everything (Regulus knows but acts like he doesn't. He respects it a lot.). He always hangs out with Sirius, Remus, and Peter, and Regina wishes she could also come along but she can’t because she’s a girl and she can’t do boy stuff, her family forbids it. This leads to her discovery of feeling different than other girls her age (she hangs out with Lily and Mary often times) and her finding out she’s trans. Their love storyline basically goes through the same as Wills and Elizabeth’s, except Regulus cutting his hair and transitioning.

Wolfstar: Wolfstar is so obvious and needs to happen already. Everyone knows about their obvious feelings for each other and the now sexual and overall general tension between the both of them. I don’t really know much about what their plot would be since they would be added characters because they don’t exist in the movies, yk? I can imagine them being very slow burn and when defeating Voldemort (Davy Jones), that’s when they finally kiss after seeing him die, and then they’re shocked and pull apart, but then dive back in and there’s more passion and James is laughing (he might or might not be the new captain of The Flying Dutchman, you decide), Barty’s gagging, Evan’s rolling his eyes, and Regulus is screaming “FUCKING FINALLY!”

Rosekiller: James and Barty go get a crew for their STOLEN ship, and in that crew, we meet quiet Evan Rosier, who seems quite out of his element. Barty takes a liking to him and afterwards calls him over to get to know him better (and also because he’s hot asf). He finds out that after losing his twin sister, he just hasn’t been the same, and he’s been trying to find her with no success. Barty offers to help him, and they make a kind of deal. Overtime, they both realize that this ‘friendship’ is more than just a friendship, and that they aren’t just trying to find his sister anymore, and that Evan feels happier like he used to be before Pandora was taken from him. Maybe they sleep together, or maybe they don’t, who knows? The writer does.

Bartylus: It was one-sided, and not that obvious because Barty was known to be a bit of a…well…slag, if you will. No one would have ever guessed that he was smitten for Regulus. Well, no one other than Regulus himself and Evan Rosier, his right hand man (not for long). Regulus used this to his advantage, even though he could tell James didn’t trust Barty fully yet. When he left Barty for death, he had kissed him goodbye, leaving him with unrequited hopes. When Evan found out, he was very upset and even tried to get back on the ship but they began quickly moving away. He was screaming for Barty, and I think that’s when Barty took one look at Evan from the distance, saw the look on his face, and immediately felt those feelings he’s had for so long towards the blonde overflow him, and recognize themselves as love. He was in love with his side-kick. Surprisingly, they had actually had their first kiss after Barty found out about James’ and Regulus’ wedding, he just finally stopped being in denial after that. He had made out with Evan and even slept with him, and he kept doing so, even when he was convincing himself it meant nothing, and it tore Evan’s heart into shambles every time. They do end up together of course, just through piles of angst and depression.

Marylily: They’re more of a side relationship, but still very important to the lore! Lily discovered herself when she was around Mary and felt like she had found herself and knew herself truly. She had always felt like something was missing, but when with Mary, everything felt perfect. When they first spoke, Mary felt a connection that she had never felt for anyone nor anything but her books. They first spoke when they saw each other in the library, them being the only women that ever stepped in there. They had reached for the same book at the same time, and that’s how they first spoke, even though Lily had been admiring her for the past 3 years. Mary knew, obviously, she just didn’t say anything about it because she wanted to see how deeply in love Lily was with her. Their relationship is like Remus’ (Mary) and Sirius’ (Lily) in Crimson Rivers. Tension, embarrassing themselves, stuttering over each other, blushing, laughing, etc. They both do become ‘pirates’ and join the Marauders and Skittles, they just live in their own little world, yet play big parts of course.

Before we move on to Dorlene, I wanted to mention that in this AU, Voldemort’s crew, The Death Eaters, wear flowy cloaks when underwater or during a battle. Otherwise, they look their usual selves, possibly with scars, piercings, and whatnot.

Dorlene: Marlene works for Dumbledore (Barbosa), while Dorcas works for Voldemort (Davy Jones) unwillingly. There’s two outcomes; 1, Dumbledore’s crew and Voldemort’s crew fought once, and during that fight, Marlene and Dorcas had fought together, and they both had been shocked at the other’s techniques and stuff (Dorcas was fully masked). Later on, during another battle (this time Marlene is friends with The Marauders and the girls, and Dorcas is with The Slytherin Skittles), Dorcas is unmasked and while fighting, they realize that they had been fighting each other before. Or 2, during the big battle scene with both Death Eaters and The Order, they stumble upon each other and Dorcas is, again, clothed. They fight, and Marlene marvels at her techniques and her smooth and slick movements, while Dorcas is entranced by Marlene’s beauty and flexibility. Suddenly, Marlene manages to slash off Dorcas’ mask when she’s distracted, and when picking it up, Dorcas looks up, and they make eye contact, and Marlene feels her heart drop. She runs off, panicking because she can not feel this way for someone on the opposing side! She won’t allow herself to fall that deep into this horrible hole!

I don’t really have an idea how Regulus, Barty, Evan, Dorcas, and Pandora would become friends, I also have no clue how they’d save Pandora and stuff, but hopefully I’ll figure that out if I write it, or you do! Also, Pandora definitely uses her cool powers and stuff and abilities to wreck anyone and everyone who touches her brother and soon-to-be brother-in-law! And her friends, of course.

I don’t know where this rant came from tbh but oh my DAYS I needed to get this out of me. I’ve had this idea for a while and wanted to write about it but I didn’t know how or what words to use. If there is a fic like this, please let me know! And if not, I’ll hopefully try my best to write it, or you can also claim this idea and make it your own!

[mikewheelerfan2022]

My thoughts on Chaos Theory Season 2

Major spoilers for the season below!

If I had to use one word to describe this season, it would probably be disappointment. Season 1 was genuinely one of my favorite seasons of television ever. I loved the dark tone it set. Then this season went and ruined that. It felt a lot more like Season 1 or 2 of Camp Cretaceous in tone than Chaos Theory. Which was definitely a let-down. In addition, it really felt like the events of this season could have been confined down into a few episodes. The content with Brooklynn was quite interesting and engaging, but all the parts with the Camp Fan in Africa were really dragged out. Essentially half of the season was just them on a river. Where are the stakes? Where’s the interesting content Season 1 set up?

But, putting all that aside, there are some genuinely enjoyable elements in the season. Of course, the standout was the episodes where we followed Brooklynn. I loved seeing what happened to her after the Allosaurus attack. It’s definitely interesting to find out that her arm was injured by a raptor, not the Allosaurus. That definitely makes more sense. The Allosaurus’s jaws would have killed her, not just ripped off her arm. It was also nice to find out who The Broker is. I think a lot of people predicted Santos, so I wasn’t too surprised. I honestly had forgotten who she was, though…Dominion definitely didn’t cause her to leave much of an impression. But I quite liked her in Chaos Theory.

What they’re setting up with the conflict between Brooklynn and the rest of the Camp Fam is great. This season really did feel like it was setting up a much bigger and more interesting plot later, which caused this content to feel kind of empty. But oh well. Seeing Brooklynn as an anti-hero is so fun. And of course the Camp Fam doesn’t know that, they genuinely think she’s working with the Broker. That’s great. I do love a great misunderstanding. I also want to see the consequences of Ben lying. It might be that the others never fully trust him again, or at least for a while. I wonder if they’ll have a plotline where Ben learns something important but the others don’t fully trust him or something like that. That would be really interesting.

One of the best and most intriguing parts of the season was Kenji. Chaos Theory Season 1 managed to move Kenji from my least favorite of the Camp Fam to my favorite. And Season 2 continues his great characterization. Specifically, the impacts of his father’s death. Because it genuinely seems like Kenji is suicidal. If not actively so, at least he has a great disregard for staying alive. Kenji was constantly putting himself into danger and being incredibly reckless during this season. Running into fire, jumping off the boat, putting his hand into the mouth of a hippo, trying to fight dinosaurs, and much more. He’s actively and purposely putting himself into danger when he really doesn’t need to. It’s clear he doesn’t care whether he lives or dies. And that conversation he had with Ben definitely raised alarms. I can’t remember his exact words, but he said something like “If somebody else close to me dies, I won’t be able to take it anymore.” That’s definitely a very suicidal statement. Now, of course this is a kids show. So I have no clue where they’re taking this or if they’ll even address it. But I’m excited to see.

Moving on to a lighter topic, let’s discuss ships! Yasammy is still going strong, and I love to see it. We never get enough lesbian relationships in media. As for Benji, which I also ship, we’re at least getting some crumbs. I have no expectations that this ship will ever become canon, but a girl can hope. And even just getting crumbs makes me happy. But that brings us to Dinostar, my absolutely favorite ship. I’ve shipped Brooklynn and Darius essentially since Camp Cretaceous Season 1. I always hated Brooklynn and Kenji, as it felt unnecessary and like it came out of nowhere. I was practically giddy when we found out Darius was in love with Brooklynn in Chaos Theory Season 1. At that time, it sounded like Darius had purposely confessed and Brooklynn had declined. Now we know that the confession was an accident, and Brooklynn’s denial wasn’t as clear cut as we thought. She just said she wasn’t ready, and wasn’t able to get any other words in before Darius left in a panic. Does this mean Dinostar will get together? Who knows. But I have hope.

Overall, this season wasn’t as good as I hoped or expected. But I still enjoyed it. And what it’s setting up for future seasons is definitely great. I think this season was clearly meant to be filler, and that’s okay. I trust that the writers will deliver us a great Season 3, and more seasons after that. But all of this is just my two cents. Thanks for reading.

[groovy-rat-man]

reasons i would or wouldnt date/marry the stardew marriage candidates

Alex - im playing as an afab farmer for like the first time and holy shit im surprised he hasnt smacked my ass and told me to smile more, hes getting better but also ive been feeding him cookies from his grandmothers trash can as recompense

Elliott (?) - hes a cool guy but also VERY gay and tbh i dont know if im a dude or not so im just gonna let him be, plus I think id rather be writing buds

Harvey - havent married him yet but I really want to one of these days, he seems like a sweetie!!

Sam (?) - I think hed make a cool roommate/bff but I just dont see him that way idk

Sebastian - just vibes, I kinda fuckin hate him a little bit

Shane - reminds me of my dad a little bit except younger, dont like it

Abigail (?) - I dont know why I dont like her, shes cool but idk

Emily - just not my type I guess, plus I 1) ship her with Clint (sue me) and 2) am dating her sister

Haley - god I love her so much, when I first started playing stardew I just fell head over heels for her man (also she looks like, acts like, and HAS THE SAME NAME as the first girl I ever had a crush on so ya know)

Leah (?) - mega lesbian, kinda in the same boat as Elliott except I would 100% date her like in real life so it's complicated

Maru (?) - fucking adore her but mostly platonicly I think, also I lowkey ship her with Penny

Penny (?) - shes real sweet and I do like her character but I dunno, also same thing as maru

Krobus - fuck yeah we love Krobus, queer platonic partners for live baby!!

[waltwhitmansbeard]

ugh now i can't stop thinking about it so

what cars would the mighty nein drive?

jester: she's just what a 60s vw bug would be like as a person. bubble gum pink with giant yellow flowers. an antenna topper of a cupcake and a "the traveler is my co-pilot" bumper sticker in the font from the beginning of legally blonde.

fjord: a wood-paneled station wagon. just an absolute boat of a vehicle that all of the kids (re: the rest of the nein) can pile into. insists you can't have the aux but everyone routinely ignore him. no seatbelts, we die like mollymauk.

caleb: you know those tiny german cars that seem like they were built for children to drive? one of those, maroon but you can't tell if that's the paint or the rust, at least one missing rim, can't sit in the back seat bc it is piled all the way up to the ceiling with books and papers caleb swears he's going to read someday. the glove compartment is a hazardous zone. floor littered with coffee cups.

beau: no car, this lesbian daddy drives a crotch-rocket, bright red and obnoxiously loud. she parks it wherever she wants and throws the tickets away. no helmet, no speed limit, we die like mollymauk.

yasha: no car, prefers to walk everywhere she can. if she has to go somewhere long distance, she'll crunch herself into a cab or cling onto beau for dear life. she'd prefer to get a ride from fjord, tho.

caduceus: there is one (1) car for the entire clay family, a secondhand sedan they traded for on craigslist, but it's too small to actually fit everyone in it, and there's always arguments about who needs it most, so mostly cad bikes everywhere (also a craiglist find, the chain is rusted but it works well enough)

veth: soccer mom van. she pretends to hate it, insists she "cooler" than the vehicle suggests, but actually she finds it incredibly handy. everyone hates sliding around in fjord's station wagon so when she's on the group trip, everyone fights to get in her car. also her stereo is better. the back is littered with bumper stickers that veth just finds. none of them pertain to her particularly. if she comes across a bumper sticker, it goes on the car.

kingsley: also a motorcycle, but somehow louder and gayer than beau's.

essek: absolutely REFUSES to get in caleb's car, says "that's not how i'm going to die," this is a miata twink for sure, sleek black and fast as hell. hates bumper stickers but jester snuck on one that says "my child is an honor roll student at the solstryce academy" but "honor roll student" is crossed out with "professor" written over it and "child" was replaced with "boytoy"

(vox machina version here)

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Eddie and Steve were in the kitchen, chatting, when Robin came into the room. She was breathing heavily, and her lipstick was smeared. It was her first sort of date with Vickie. Of course, Robin had been nervous, and she enlisted Steve’s help. A little group hangout was his idea to make them both comfortable, letting Robin give him a signal to move into the kitchen whenever she wanted to be alone with Vickie. Eddie was with him as per usual. It had been the norm for them ever since Steve carried him out of the Upside Down.

"You were right about Vickie," Robin said.

"Duh, of course, I was right about Vickie. As someone who also likes both, I have a sense for these kinds of things," Steve said. "Wait. Did she kiss you, and did you just leave her in there?"

"Shit!" Robin exclaimed and ran back into the living room.

"So, you're bisexual?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah," Steve said, shrugging as he popped a chip into his mouth.

"Have you always known that you liked both?" Eddie asked.

"Pretty much. Definitely from a young age. Right around the same time, everyone discovered kissing. It didn't matter who I kissed. I liked kissing," Steve said. "And then when I was old enough to start having sex. . . Well, you get the idea."

"Uh, it wasn't until recently that I learned that that's me too," Eddie said, scratching. "Bisexual, that is."

"Oh, so, you haven't always known? I figured with the hanky that you would have known," Steve said. "I guess that makes sense, though. Of course, you wouldn't be flagging on school grounds or 24/7."

"What the hell is flagging?" Eddie asked.

"I'll tell you when you're older," Steve grinned, and Eddie shoved him. "So, can I ask. . .what made you realize that you also liked guys?"

Eddie groaned and rubbed his face with his hands, scratching furiously in his hair.

"Ugh, it was actually you, man. You on that boat at Lover's Lake, whipping that sweater off like it was no big deal and then throwing it at me. It threw me off. I needed a damn cigarette," Eddie said as he hid his face.

Steve pulled one of his hands from his face, clasping it tightly in his own. He grabbed Eddie's chin and turned his face towards him.

"Thank you for telling me. It must have sucked. Learning about the Upside Down, being wanted for murder, and on top of that having a sexuality crisis," Steve said.

"It wasn't so bad," Eddie said softly.

Steve's hand was still on his face, but he was cupping his cheek now, rubbing his thumb across Eddie's cheekbone. Eddie sighed, leaning into his touch.

"Eddie, can I kiss you?" Steve asked.

"Y-yeah."

Steve leaned in and kissed him. It was soft and gentle, also a little bit wet. They sighed against each other's lips. It was a bit overwhelming for Eddie but in a good way. He could feel the tears prickling at his eyes. Steve broke the kiss.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Steve asked.

"It's nothing. I just can't believe that you like me," Eddie said.

Steve pressed a hard kiss to his cheek.

"Of course, I like you," Steve said.

Eddie sighed and hugged him tightly, burrowing his face into Steve’s neck.

"I like you too, Steve," Eddie said.

"Yes, my plan worked!" Robin exclaimed.

Steve and Eddie broke apart, giving her looks of disbelief. She was standing in the doorway, holding Vickie's hand.

"You planned on being a useless, clueless lesbian?" Steve asked.

"Okay, rude! Yes, I did. I got you guys to double date with me and Vickie so that way you two can finally admit your feelings for one another!" Robin exclaimed.

"You didn't plan shit, Buckley," Eddie said.

"Steve, who are you going to believe? Me or your boyfriend?" Robin asked.

"Yeah, I'm not choosing either one of you. Vickie, how are you? We've never hung out. Do you want to go into the living room and talk shit about our new partners?" Steve asked, and Vickie giggled.

[wizardsvslesbians]

Isaac here, with another recommendation response masterpost! It's a long one!

Anon said:

oh my godyou guys HAVE to cover metal from heaven by august clarke as the next thing to add to the list i just saw the reviews and it literally looks like main wizlez for the first time in quite a while

We actually have had an ARC of this one for some time, and we were intending to cover it! And I bounced off it real hard. So that's on me. Once it comes out properly and there's an audiobook I'll take another crack at it.

Seiya said:

“A Sweet Sting of Salt” by Rose Sutherland is for all the girlies who read Charity and Sylvia and wanted more of that. or, 19th century Nova Scotia selkie lesbians. the wizard is less a wizard and more a condemnation of the selkie folktale in general, but also the vibes are nice and this was a nice book

We're going to need a vibes are nice book - the vibes have been either rancid or very complicated for too long and I'm missing the simple days of boat lesbians and The Duke. Also it would be nice to follow up "Selkie Stories Are For Losers" from our last short story roundup.

Spiralochete said:

Not wizlez, but if you're ever in the mood, I would love to hear you guys discuss Borne by Jeff Vandermeer. It features a non-narcissistic parent of an extremely monstrous child, and I think it would produce interesting discussions in conversation with some of the previous entries in the podcast. I also think that the ecological themes would be an interesting change of pace. There are no prominent lesbians, but there are definitely wizards. If either of you have bounced off Jeff Vandermeer previously (I know that some people do), it's definitely a bit more accessible than the Southern Reach Trilogy.

I liked Annihilation! Then Authority bored me enough that I never bothered to finish it, so I'm, like, medium interested in this as a concept. Sounds like a guest episode, and so we'd need a guest who wants to cover it.

Anon said:

i think i might have just watched the first actual bona fide wizards vs lesbians film i've ever seen other than adolescence of utena, and i'm shocked i never heard of it before: harmony (2015), but for the podcast you guys might be more interested in the novel of the same name it's based on by project itoh (who i believe is also famous for having a kojima game dedicated to him posthumously). the novel is less explicit in the romance between protagonists (antagonists?) tuan and miach, which might be a point towards reviewing the film rather than the book, but it's up to you guys! really, really interesting stuff from this film, despite its flaws. it's good scifi

Any skepticism I might have had about this went out the window when I saw that Michael Arias co-directed the film. He directed Tekkonkinkreet, which is one of my five favorite movies of all time, one of the only pieces of media that makes me cry no matter how many times I go back to it, so I, at least, will be giving this a shot. Can't guarantee any more than that.

Anon said:

i know you only rarely cover graphic literature but tbh the more i think on it the manga land of the lustrous not only counts as (enby) yuri but also absolutely fits in the lesbian space atrocities/wizlez genre, the tragedy and war and double crossing and mental illness stuff with the initial motivation for everything being a gay crush that ruins everything.

I'm gonna be real with you: I had such a viscerally negative reaction to the anime when it came out that it would take a lot for me to dive into the manga. Toooo many lovingly rendered amputations.

Anon said:

have you guys ever read stuff by qing jun mo xiao? her baihe serials all are very much in wizlez mode as far as i can tell - clear and muddy loss of love has a full english translation available online, i dunno about female general and eldest princess but it's getting english volume releases!

There is an english translation online, but it's definitely fanwork, and with all respect to the person who made it it's probably best if we wait for an official release. When that does happen, I'm all for it.

Short recs:

the passion by jeanette winterson is a vintage wizvwlw novel i found recently which is magical realist napoleonic wars in venice - it might be of interest to you guys

On the list it goes!

the women could fly by megan giddings def looks like wizles, maybe it's worth checking out since it looks pretty interesting

On the list it goes!

i've not read it, but the light brigade by kameron hurley looks like interesting wizlez to me if you wanna check it out

I suspect we haven't done any Kameron Hurley books yet for a reason, but on the list it goes!

And finally, presented without comment:

Look I'm aware that due to the time commitment which is on par with reading Homestuck and the audio format it's basically impossible to cover all of it. But fellow wizards vs lesbians listeners should know that the magnus archives probably counts as wizards vs lesbians. There are a million wizards, women fall in love, and lesbians definitely attack the wizards. plus there's an assortment of bad mothers and monstrous children. It somehow has a coherent plot and themes by the end as well, if you can stick with the motw format long enough. However it's mostly wizard pov

[outermaybanks]

request: Hi, would you be up for writing a Rafe x Kiara fic by any chance, I love me some good enemies to lovers and in my opinion they definitely give that. If u are up for it, I’m hoping for u to do a dark Rafe one. @sage1998c

a/n: listen im personally team lesbian kiara but there was TENSION in that room in season 3, I really felt like I was seeing a new side to Rafe. Anyone else think maybe something happened there? maybe kook year? Also might elaborate on this... CW!!!! 18+ smut. dark!rafe. DUBCON, hatefucking, p-in-v penetration, unsafe sex... maybe a little breeding kink. if u squint.

“She’s not even that hot,” Rafe thought to himself as he brought his red solo cup up to his lips. Kiara Carrera had slapped him, pushed him into the ocean, stolen his boat and left him alone in a foreign country. So why were his eyes glued to her frame as she danced in front of everyone, her three Pogue friends surrounding her, all begging for her to look at them. Rafe thought it was pathetic, the way these guys pined after her, and Rafe refused to join them. But despite that, there he was, stood against a wall with his eyes locked on Kook-gone-Pogue. 

Even when his friends came over to greet him, tried telling him about whatever bullshit they wanted to brag about, his eyes always found her, until finally, he saw her separate from her group of friends, heading upstairs towards the bathroom. Rafe mumbled off an excuse, then followed behind her, but with enough distance so she didn’t see him. 

Kiara went into the bathroom, and turned to close the door behind her, but just as she tried, Rafe pushed through, closing the door behind him. “Rafe? What the hell, man?” “I need to know something.” “I’m trying to use the bathroom, it can’t wait?” “No, no, it really can’t.” Maybe it was the coke in his system that drove him to be so eager for an answer, or maybe it was pure desperation. “I need to know why the fuck those Pogues are good enough for you, but me? I get pushed off a boat, and left for dead,” Rafe stepped closer, towering over Kiara.

“So, what is it, Kie? What do they got that I don’t?” “Morals,” she practically spat in his face, but Rafe didn’t care, his hands came up to grab her face, pulling her into a kiss. Kie immediately pulled away, and slapped him. “Who the hell do you think you are?!” Rafe moved his jaw as his hand came up to my cheek. The stinging felt good, and a small chuckle escaped his lips. “No, Kie, who the hell do you think you are?” He walked closer, until her back was against the wall. “You think you’re so much better than me. Do your little Pogue friends know just how… needy you used to be?” Rafe tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and Kiara’s eyes moved between his own, but despite the situation she found herself in, she wasn’t scared, more like annoyed.

“Maybe I should tell them, hm? How you used to beg for me to touch you. Tell me, Kiara, are your little Poguies fucking you right?”

Kiara forcefully moved his hand away from her face. “That’s none of your business.” “Oh no, I think it is my business,” Rafe argued, this time both of his hands coming up to cup her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. “They fuck you better than I did?”

“None of them fuck me.”

Hearing that, a smile appeared on Rafe’s face. A sense of pride came over him. Kiara’s stare was hard, like she could see through him. That’s why Kiara always terrified him, she was the only one who ever looked at him like that. 

One of Rafe’s hands slid down to her throat, but still she just stared through him. He was holding her tight, but not enough to hurt her. “Tell me you miss me.” “Drop dead, Rafe.” “You don’t mean that. I know you don’t. Say you miss me.” Kie swallowed as she watched him. “I miss your dick, I don’t miss the person attached to it.” Rafe smirked. “I can work with that.” His hand that was around her neck slid to the back of her head, taking a fistful of hair before pulling her back into him for a hungry kiss. This time, she didn’t resist, she returned the fervor, her hands coming up to grasp at the collar of his shirt. 

Rafe, without thinking, leaned down to pick up Kiara and put her on the sink counter, knocking over miscellaneous items that came clattering down, but neither of them could bring themselves to care. Rafe’s lips left hers in favor of kissing down her skin, nipping and sucking at the skin of her neck. “No marks,” Kie panted out, but Rafe pulled away, leaving her eyebrows screwed together in disappointment, just before Rafe’s hand came up to squeeze her cheeks together. “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do. You’ll take what you can get, got it?”

Kie nodded desperately, Rafe reached down and peeled her shirt over her head. The second the piece of fabric was discarded, Rafe pulled her back into him. Kie’s hands preoccupied themselves with the task of unbuttoning his jeans, and taking off his belt, but Rafe’s focus was on her lips, the ones he had been desperate to kiss since she had denied him of it. He moved his hands to her thighs before sliding them back and forth roughly against her skin.

Suddenly, he pulled away from her, pulling her down from the sink with him. “Can’t wait anymore,” Rafe mumbled before turning her around, and pressing her down to lean over the sink; a small gasp of surprise left Kie’s lips as her skin met with the cold marble. Rafe’s hands reached around her waist for the button of her shorts before pulling them down, grinding his bulge against her. “Mmmm, what would your little friends think? Seeing you bent over a sink for me?” Rafe teased, his fingers gripping her flesh to pull her back against him. “Do you want to go ask them or do you want to fuck me?” Rafe chuckled before his hand came down, slapping her ass and roughly pulling her against him. “You lost your manners, Kie, I’ll have to teach you.”

Kie turned her head to try and look at him, but he was too busy pulling his hard cock out to look at her, she tried to keep her hard-girl persona, but when she felt his tip nudge her clit through her panties, she was already practically done for. Her body remembered him, and was betraying her. Rafe made no attempt to remove her panties, only moved them to the side before sliding between her folds, her wetness coating his cock. A cocky smirk spread across his lips before he slid into her, her eyes falling back with her head, hands splayed out on the marble of the counter, desperate for something to hold onto.

He gave her no time to adjust, immediately snapping his hips at a merciless pace. “Mm mm-” Kie let out small whimpers. “You feel just like I remember… You let anyone else fuck this pussy?” Rafe questioned with a huff, his hand coming up to tangle in her hair. He tugged, pulling her to stand against him, but his hips never stopped moving. “Answer me.” “No-No, Rafe. No one.”

He suddenly pulled out, a small whine leaving Kiara’s lips, but Rafe picked her up and put her back on the counter, pulling her to the edge before sliding back into her. “I wanna see your face when I make you cum.”

Kiara wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. With her legs wrapped around him, he reached deeper inside, and she was getting close. “Fuck you feel so good… Those Pogues wouldn’t know what to do with a girl like you, couldn’t fuck you like you need. You need me.”

She found herself agreeing, her head nodding against his shoulder while her nails dug into the flesh of his back. “There’s my girl…” Rafe’s big hands came up to paw at her breast, before his mouth attached to her neck. “Close… so close…” Kie mumbled, starting to go braindead, her impending orgasm clouding her mind. “Beg me,” Rafe said, grabbing her chin to make her look at him. Her eyebrows screwed together in confusion. Rafe slowed his hips, keeping his dark eyes on her. She wet her bottom lip, dragging it with her teeth. “Please, please don’t stop. Make me cum, Rafe.”

Rafe smirked, one hand snaked down the front of her panties, where her clit was swollen and puffy. “You can do better than that, Kie.” Her bottom lip came out into a pout, she was desperate, her hands coming up to his cheeks pulling him into a kiss. This surprised him, but he kissed her back, his calloused fingers began circling around her clit, making her moan into his mouth. With one move, Kie had gotten Rafe in the palm of her hand, and he didn’t like that.

But he wanted to hear that sound again, and he wanted to feel her cum on his cock, so slowly he quickened his pace, which each thrust small moans escaped Kie’s lips into his. Rafe could feel her tighten around him, squeezing his cock before her lips fell from his in a gasp. The sight alone of her eyelashes fluttering as her jaw went slack was enough to bring him to release, cumming inside her. Both of them stayed there, foreheads together, chests rising and falling with each deep breath. “You’re lucky I’m on birth control, asshole,” Kie breathed out. “I didn’t ask.” Rafe replied before sliding out, a small whimper leaving Kiara’s lip of the empty feeling, then she felt the warm liquid slide out of her, and with a clear mind, this annoyed her. “Just… get out of here so I can clean up.” “Okay…” Rafe replied softly, tucking himself back into his boxers. “It was good seeing you again, Kie.” He opened the bathroom door, the music filling the room. “If I see Maybank touch your ass again, I’ll fuck you in front of him.”

©ᵒᵘᵗᵉʳᵐᵃʸᵇᵃⁿᵏˢ ²⁰²⁴

[passions-and-pupils]

LMK Pride Headcannons

MK came out to Sun Wukong as gay and he was like “and?” Because he grew up in the Han dynasty where that stuff was completely normalized

In the future LMK takes place in Gay marriage is legal in China and not nearly as stigmatized

Redson is pansexual

DBK and PIF support Redson dating men but still want him to marry a woman so the family line can continue (basically they still work by ancient rules)

Mei is bi and jokes all the time about how she’d only date women if the allure of men wasn’t so strong

The first time Sun Wukong was asked his pronouns he was so confused so he googled it and proceeded to have a full on gender crisis

Ao Lie was a trans woman but she never got the opportunity to come out because of fear of ridicule from her family (who she already had a strained relationship with) so she delt with dysphoria by disguising as a human woman at every opportunity and making her voice higher in her regular human form

After learning more about trans people Sun Wukong realized Ao Lie was trans and felt a wave of grief and regret because she never felt safe enough to be herself

on a more light hearted note Pigsy and Tang used to go to pride events (film festivals, meetups, bike rides) all the time before adopting MK and people always thought Pigsy was a straight ally because he looks straight.

Now MK and Mei go to gay and lesbian bars together

Tang is Bisexual. He thought he was gay but then he found out about the wonders of strong, dominant women and everything changed

Pigsy is Queer. He doesn’t care to specify further label wise. I’m fact unless it comes up he doesn’t talk about it at all. MK didn’t even know until after he came out

Sandy is actually Aromantic and is perfectly content living alone with his cats in his boat (as long as he also has friends to visit)

Macaque found out what a gay was from one of his odd jobs and went “oh… dats me”

Speaking of, it took forever for Sun Wukong to find out but he’s actually gay, Demi-Romantic and asexual, gender is still a mystery to this day but he/him out of convenience.

[zabala0z]

Ah TMA S4. You will consistently make me want to rip out my hair. Anyways sorry for a very late post! School is hell!

MAG 138: The Architecture of Fear

God fuck Elias. I know I said that a thousand times but I mean it. Robert smirke is surprisingly more sympathetic than I thought he would be? At least more then Jonah Magnus who I still need to figure out the deal of. Also Maxwell Rayner mention, that dick.

I was wondering how these entities came to be. The idea that some civilization brought them here is laughable cause it’s like, man you really screwed over the entire world huh?? Also Smirke mentioned for Jonah to not wear the watchers crown which, that’s what Gerry referred to as the ritual for The Eye. How long has The Eyes ritual been ready? At least Jonah can’t do that anymore, bros dead

MAG 139: Chosen

So this is why The Desolation scares me the most! But also it’s really nice to clarify what is Agnes exactly. Anyways the description of what Eugene did to the workers at the factory made me like sick. Maybe cause my parents are immigrants so I just have a soft spot but Jesus.

How did Gertrude actually derail the ritual??? Like Jon said, she prob didn’t pay Jack. I went back to that statement and while I didn’t find anything hinting at why Jack fell in love with Agnes, I did find a lot of The Desolation vs The Web stuff. When Agnes burned the web in the corner of his room and when Arthur Nolan held a bag of tiny spiders. They really have beef. Damn.

Also yes Eugene, they’re lesbians. God.

MAG 140: The Movement of the Heavens

I love when TMA brings in real people, it’s so funny. Like THE EDMUND HALLEY???? Reminds me in Percy Jackson when the author would make real people different demigods. It’s so fun. I love it.

“That’s my rib” Jesus Christ Jon. Why? Also is the jar of ashes from Gerry?? Y’know when Jon burned his page?? Anyways, time for a fun boat trip.

MAG 141: Doomed Voyage

Mikaela Salesa. I’m very interested in him, he sounds interesting and I WAS RIGHT. Anyways, Jon really brought out his creepy, ominous, alter ego. I love when we see him do something slightly disturbing as the episodes go on. Really puts into perspective about him being an avatar and all that.

Also these god damn tape recorders have a kind of their own at this point. I’m wondering what that camera Salesa got was. Might look back at the transcripts to figure it out

Anyways that’s it! Sorry for my late posts, I guess it’s not really a scheduled thing anymore. I’ll post when I can!