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#He probably still struggles with that recognition sometimes and has to remind himself that he DOES care and DOES want relationships
invre · 2 months
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Headcanon; post-canon, Mithrun stayed in the Canaries lodging for a while — his squad were happy for that, and none moreso than Pattadol who worries a fair bit about him living alone. But, ultimately, he got his own place in Melini once everyone else had moved on as well.
Despite being from a noble family and having connections to both his brother and the new King, he saw little reason to pull said strings. It probably was suggested by Pattadol and maybe also Cithis that having live-in servants might be beneficial, but he declined. Having a large home and servants felt no different than the lodging quarters, so what was the point? He would only be there periodically, anyway.
Mithrun has a simple house in Melini with a fairly large garden. It's an average sized house, primarily built from wood— the one thing he did accept help on was having it furnished/decorated, because it would have been the same to him if he had nothing besides a mattress to sleep on— and everyone seemed bothered by that idea. It's actually quite a nice space, now. The garden is mostly made up of flowers and a few fruit/vegetable patches, though none of it is Mithrun's doing. It was all left from the previous owners.
His home is cozy, to a degree, but it does feel slightly... Impersonal. When visiting his brother for the first time post-canon, he had given Mithrun two boxes full of his personal affects from before he joined the Canaries. Books, jewellery, photo frames, and so on. Those boxes were brought back to Melini, but they're just sitting there gathering dust.
That said, one photo that does hang on his wall — a moving-in surprise, courtesy of those who helped him decorate — is a framed picture of their squad, the official photo they all took together when initially assigned. They all look morose or pissed-off, for the most part, but they're together. Despite their circumstances (and clashing personalities), they did spend a lot of time together and a strange kinship appeared to have formed. He does look at that photo sometimes.
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septembersghost · 2 years
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(1) the gen z/elvis ask was beautiful, and you can post this if you want so they can read it. i've been crying over him today because i'm so tender-hearted about how little his pain was recognized during his lifetime and still today. it isn't fair that he can be treated as a joke with how much of himself he gave to everyone, how hard he tried to find a way to be kind and considerate and entertaining to people who did not understand him. he loved people so much even when he could not get what he
needed from them, when he remained uncertain of why they were with him, whether they truly "got" him or if this lonely part of him would always be there, or if he was doing enough for them. and that is so inspirational to me BECAUSE of how very human it is. his impact on my life is so much stronger because i can see how complex and real and imperfect and fierce and loving he was, all at once. it inspires me to love myself and to love others better, and to not hold back because i'm waiting for everything to line up just right, or to be certain of the outcome, or to imagine that any of us can afford to reject each other because we fall short all the time. he would be so taken aback to know that the parts of himself he was afraid to share - his addictions, his depression, his fears, his ill-considered mistakes - made me love him more, made me understand my faith more, made me feel so, so moved and encouraged by him because he got down in the dirt with people and did not ask perfection from THEM before he gave them his love and time. so i am not going to expect perfection from anyone before i love them, starting with him and starting with me. :')
thank you darling ;____; and thank you so much for sending this. 💙💙💙
i haven't talked about this a lot, but i feel a certain connection to him regarding health stuff and the depression, and the way people can hold that against you in a certain way, and either tally it as some sort of failing or turn it into infantalization (there's probably a better word for that), instead of still seeing the person you are in your soul despite difficulties with your physical condition. your mentioning that he'd be taken aback if he knew that those things he was scared to share made you love him all the more reminds me of that, because i feel the same way. and it aches to think of that fear that people would view him as less because of it, yet i understand why that existed. we all struggle with that, the worry of being...never enough. not giving enough, not loving enough, not being enough. he had that expansive sense of love and that profound humanity and that transcendent spirit, and sometimes i think that's simply a lot to carry. when you have no choice and don't know a way of living except to give that, but hurt and loneliness is unavoidable too. the fact that he's been so often reduced to something else altogether (riley saying portrayals of him have been "silly." the idea of making someone into a parody? god.), it just pangs my heart because of all that he actually was.
i've been crying over him today because i'm so tender-hearted about how little his pain was recognized during his lifetime and still today. *hugs you tight* i get this completely. it's hard to understand that lack of recognition once you have fallen in love with him like we have, not only because it's distinctly unfair, but also because once you SEE and empathize with that, it feels impossible to ignore? it IS so tender, and i don't say that it has a spiritual element lightly either. it makes my breath catch a little because it hits me in such a direct and resonant place. it's not necessarily news to you that i gravitate towards people exploring love and exercising kindness, but the way he expressed that is distinct and powerful. exactly as you said, he didn't ask for perfection or hesitate to meet people where they needed him, that love and kindness was simply existent within him.
so i am not going to expect perfection from anyone before i love them, starting with him and starting with me. 😭🥺 i'm going to take the liberty of saying this would make him really happy. i know it would. it's difficult for me because i'm miss mirrorball world class hard-on-herself, only other people deserve love and understanding! yes i recognize that's irrational!, so reading this is honestly inspiring, and maybe he'd want me to do better with that too and i can keep trying. i just believe he'd welcome us in with such open arms.
everything you wrote here is so beautiful and so heartfelt, i'm very grateful you shared it and the love you have for him (and the film!), it made a difference to me before you even knew it did. it's a blessing in my life. i love him and i love you.
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azucanela · 4 years
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Hi! i’d like to request a Zuko x Reader oneshot please and it takes place a few years after he’s crowned as the Fire Lord: Zuko is entering suitable age for marriage and yet he has no one that he likes enough to take as his queen, what if Uncle Iroh hired the reader whom is a famous matchmaker that usually arranges the courting & marriage between nobles, but instead of all these ladies that she threw at him he ended up falling for her instead but he’s just so awkward and inexperienced Thank u
INAMORATA | ZUKO X READER
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SUMMARY: after a few years of being Fire Lord, Zuko still hasn’t found a companion. so naturally, when Iroh comes upon a matchmaker, he does what he does best and helps Zuko out by hiring her to help him find someone. and inadvertently... iroh ends up playing matchmaker himself. 
WORD COUNT: 12.6k
WARNINGS: mentions of death, death threats, kissing, pining, very mild innuendos, blood, injuries, crying
A/N: this is literally art omg i feel kinda honored to be seeing this ngl and i ended up researching matchmaking and they’re basically therapists that help you find love?? kinda. the profile thing is something that some matchmakers do and idk i have fun analyzing zuko so
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in·am·o·ra·ta/iˌnaməˈrädə/
noun
a woman with whom one is in love or has intimate relations.
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ATTEMPT ZERO
After years of being the Fire Lord, Zuko had come to realize the job was pretty basic if you thought about it long enough. There were just a few major things to deal with. First, there’s the internal relations, like the civil wars and uprising he deal with at the start of his reign because people disliked his ways. Then there’s the external relations, Zuko worked alongside Aang to repair those, helping the Southern Water Tribe rebuild itself from the ground up, and hosting meetings between the nations, friendly and work related. Those are the more diplomatic aspects of the job, and sadly, even as a ruler who sought to end a war, there was still violence in the world. 
When Aang and the rest of Team Avatar ended the One Hundred Year War, that only exposed a variety of other problems within the world, problems that the team seeked to end. There were people out there who disliked this line of thinking, and similarly wanted it to end, but ending the lives of Team Avatar.
Zuko was used to the death threats, and the assassination attempts. He’d had a security detail in place to ensure he lived to rule his nation, this was especially necessary since he lacked an heir and the only other people eligible for the throne were an old man who ran a tea shop and a psychopathic teenage girl in a mental institution. This is where the social aspect of the job came in, the part that Zuko had never been good at. The Galas and the girls who threw themselves at him, the nobility of all nations that approached him offering their children’s hand in marriage. Zuko was an enigma, a young and powerful bachelor, and now all the nobles with children were lining up for a minute alone with him to try and sell their own kids.
It disgusted him. The way they treated their children like cattle reminded Zuko of his own father, how willing he was to get rid of Zuko since he had a replacement on standby. Though, Zuko sincerely doubted he ever would’ve gotten the throne if Ozai had a choice, even if he hadn’t been banished. 
Alas, even Zuko could recognize the urgency of it, the death threats weren’t letting up, and the assassination attempts were only getting more and more elaborate, leaving Zuko wondering when they’d no longer be attempts. He needed and heir, or at least a wife who could rule alongside him and take over entirely in the event of his death.
The problem was, he didn’t want this.
He was in a unique position, where the person he married would have an immense effect on society, on politics. If it was an Earth Kingdom girl, then maybe the years of violence against their people could be mended sooner, and they could begin working together to combat a variety of issues. If he ends up with a Fire Nation girl, it could be viewed as strengthening the traditional ideals of Fire Nation independence and sovereignty because the Fire Nation is “supreme.”
Dating was political now and he hated it. It wasn’t like Zuko wanted to be alone, it’s just that now everything mattered far more than it used to. Of course, even as a prince it had been the same, but now that he was the Fire Lord, things seemed to be ten times worse. Perhaps it was excessive but Zuko couldn’t help but feel paranoid whenever a new person entered his life, he couldn’t help but assume that they were just using him for some other agenda.
Of course, his friends had tried to assure him this wasn’t always the case, and they’d even made attempts to set him up with girls. All of which had failed. Zuko knew he wasn’t an easy person, much less an easy person to date. As Fire Lord, a lot of his time was taken up by meetings, and diplomatic missions, and not-so-diplomatic missions alongside Team Avatar. That and he was rather awkward when it came down to most social interactions, though he’d improved over time, especially as the ruler of a nation, his speeches were elegant and so was the way he negotiated with other kingdoms. 
And yet he struggled to talk to strangers.
Iroh seemed to be tired of this as well, he’d sent Zuko several letters in regards to his lack of romance, insisting that he was a “handsome young man” that had “lots of potential” and he was “wasting” his prime with so much work. Zuko didn’t consider managing a country as a waste, though he understood where Iroh was coming from, Zuko probably should’ve been spending time with friends, going to clubs. Not saving the world.
Regardless, there wasn’t much he could do about, he didn’t have time for dating, and Zuko wasn’t willing to compromise his morals and beliefs just for an heir in the event that he got brutally murdered. He refused to raise a child just for that purpose. He learnt the hard way that you should only have kids if you intend to cherish them. And the idea of marrying someone just to strengthen his nation felt wrong, though he could see the benefits.
God, he hated being Fire Lord sometimes.
On the other hand, Y/N L/N liked her job. Amongst the nobility of the Earth Kingdom, she was a rather famous woman, Y/N had brought together some of the most powerful couples in the country. A lot of people owed her favors, and the money that came with the job was more than satisfactory. If Y/N had to guess, she was one of the richest people in the kingdom, considering how much people were willing to pay to fine “the one.” Her business had been rather successful since she’d gotten renowned in the inner ring of the city, and now, Y/N was considering expansion, to the Fire Nation. The borders had long since reopened, when the new Fire Lord came into power.
A whole new set of nobles for her to profit from. 
She’d decided to head to a high end tea shop in celebration of her choice to expand her business. Y/N had heard it was only for the best, since the tea shop served the best. One of her clients had insisted that someone of her esteem try the tea there, given that she was the best in her own profession.
So, here she was. It was a nice place, she wouldn’t deny, and Y/N had heard of the shop before. The Jasmine Dragon, run by some old guy who’d appeared in Ba Sing Se just before the war ended with some major talent when it came to brewing tea. The interior was fancy, but not excessive, several people were already seated within. Y/N even recognized one of the couples there, who waved at her enthusiastically, “hello! Lady L/N, how lovely to see you!” One of them called out.
Y/N smiled at them, “how are you two?”
The other beamed at her as she responded, “oh we’re just lovely! Preparing our wedding invitations and one of them has your name on it.” This wasn’t abnormal, most of the couples she’d brought together attributed their love to her. In actuality, Y/N found that if you found two people with compatible personalities, then they’d work things out on their own. All she did was introduce them. 
“I’m excited!” Y/N assured, moving past their table, “now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to try this famous tea. But, I’m looking forward to the invite.” 
The pair nodded, before returning their attention the friends seated across from them, and Y/N made her way to the front of the shop, bag of coins in hand. An older man stood behind the counter, a smile on his face as he brought his attention to her, “what can I get you today Miss...”
“Y/N. Y/N L/N.” She replied, small smile on her face as she looked at the menu, “what’s your name?” Y/N asked, meeting his eyes to see the flicker of recognition within them before returning her gaze to the menu.
He nods slowly, “I’m Iroh, and you’re a matchmaker, no?” He’d recognized the name, her business had begun gaining traction amongst the nobility of the Earth Kingdom shortly after the war, and she was one of the most sought after matchmakers in the nation. Iroh himself had looked into her business, seeing as his nephew was yet to find love in his chaotic lifetstyle. 
Y/N smiled at him as she nodded, “indeed.” She placed the menu down, “any suggestions?”
“Perhaps, Jasmine tea?” He suggested.
Y/N nodded, “sounds good.” She places extends a hand with coins, dropping them into his palm, “so are you looking for love?” Though she was certainly famous for her skills, Y/N tended to work behind the scenes, and she was surprised to find this man recognized her.
A small laughed escaped him at her words as he shook his head, “no. I believe it is a little too late for that.” He was working on her tea beyond the counter, and Y/N began to wonder how he was steaming the tea pot when she noticed there was no stove beside him.
“Don’t say that! You seem like a fine man that anyone woman would want.” Y/N assured, though she now wondered why exactly this man knew who she was in the first place. It was rare for those outside of nobility to know who she was.
Turning around, his hand pressed to the pot that Y/N was positive had to have been burning his hand in some way, “oh, you’re too kind.” He replies, a small smile on his face as he poured a bit into a cup, “I was looking to help my nephew find love actually.” 
“Really, now?” Firebending, that was the only explanation for the way this man was handling the tea. “I was looking to expand my business to the Fire Nation, perhaps I could help him out.” He didn’t hold himself the way most Earth Kingdom citizens did, and coupled with the possible Firebending, he was likely from the Fire Nation.
Iroh raises a brow at this, “what gave me away?” He stirs the tea a few times, before placing it on the counter for her to take. 
Y/N shrugs, “it’s my job to know people well enough that I can find them a match.” Taking a sip of her tea, she smiles, “so this nephew of yours. He wouldn’t happen to nobility, would he?”
He laughs at this, pouring himself a cup of tea as well as he sighs, “actually, he is nobility. In a way.”
Now Y/N did not expect the nobility Iroh spoke of the be the nobility. As in the Fire Lord, the actual ruler of the entire nation, though this would certainly be great for business. Once the world hears of how Y/N found the Fire Lord, someone who had been notably difficult to woo apparently, a match, her business will be set. 
“Isn’t this exciting, guys?” Y/N exclaimed, looking to her assistants, they were both on the younger side, Marcella and Evelyn. She’d brought them along since this would definitely be a valuable learning experience, and Y/N figured she’d need a lot of help if the Fire Lord was as difficult as they made him out to be. That and Y/N didn’t want to leave them alone in the Earth Kingdom, both of them had been orphaned at a young age. Y/N couldn’t help but relate to them, so when she’d come upon her newfound wealth, brought about by her job as a matchmaker, she’d taken the pair under her wing. 
With a bag thrown over her shoulder, Evelyn simply nodded while Marcella exclaimed, “yes! I’ve always wanted to see the Fire Nation. Do you think we could find a client in one of the Water Tribes next?” 
Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the young girl’s excitement, “if this goes well? We’ll be able to find clients anywhere.” She wasn’t wrong, Y/N had never had the opportunity to work with the actual Earth King, the true ruler of the nation. Now she was working with the ruler of a nation she’d never stepped foot in, entirely new customs and traditions to research, a new social structure, new everything.
What a fun challenge.
With a smile on her face, Y/N followed closely behind Iroh, the palace was stunning, she couldn’t deny it. And compared to the crumbling infrastructure of the lower rings of cities like Ba Sing Se, Fire Nation cities were prospering Fire Lord Zuko’s rule. From what she’d heard, things weren’t always this way.
“Y/N and I are going to wait here,” he gestured to the open space before them, dozens of paintings within it, “these two will take you to your rooms.” He explained to the pair of young girls, nodding to the servants beside them, who began to guide the young girls away.
Y/N’s eyes found their way to the paintings, the newest one being of the current Fire Lord, Zuko himself. She wondered how accurate the painting was, and seeing as she would be meeting him soon, Y/N figured she’d find out as she sighed, turning to Iroh, “so how does the original heir to the throne become the owner of an infamous tea shop?” 
Iroh smiles to himself at her words, “age brings wisdom. And tea is a nice substitute for alcohol.” He jokes, though Y/N can see the pain in his eyes, along with admiration as he stares at Zuko’s portrait alongside her.
“Uncle!” A voice exclaimed, joy clear in his voice as he called out. Y/N watched as Iroh spun around, a broad smile on his face as he moved forwards to embrace the person.
He looked better in person, Y/N quickly decided, though the portrait did its job just as well. She wouldn’t deny he was attractive, but she already knew looks weren’t the issue. Iroh had informed her of the situation, Zuko’s constant rejection of any and every single person that approached him, and the stress he experienced because of the politics of it all.
“Nephew, it is good to see you,” Iroh said, releasing him from the hug, “how are you?” Initially he seemed fairly comfortable at the sight of just his Uncle, but as the Fire Lord’s body seemed to stiffen, Y/N realized she’d been spotted.
So, he wasn’t comfortable with strangers, “I’m alright Uncle... who is this?” He asked. There was an edge to his voice as he spoke, sizing Y/N up, not in the way you did for someone you were attracted to, but for an enemy.
Uncomfortable with new people, clear trust issues, and his mind was always alert. She’d have to write these things down and take them into consideration prior to finding him a potential partner. Though it was starting to look like he was completely unaware of her purpose there as she extended her hand out to him, “Y/N L/N. Professional matchmaker.” She explained with a bright smile, though, based off his personality, that would likely ward him off more.
He was polite though, shaking her hand despite his clear suspicions of her, “Zuko.” Y/N couldn’t help but raise a brow at this, he hadn’t mentioned his title in his introduction. Zuko turned to his Uncle, brows furrowing as he said, “you hired a professional matchmaker?”
With a shrug Iroh responded, “we met by chance! So, it must be destiny.”
Zuko gives him a tight lipped smile, nodding slowly before returning his attention to Y/N who stood away from the pair, examining the decor of the palace. It was minimalistic, truly basic if she was honest, despite the clear amount of riches they possessed, it lacked evidence of them. Bringing her eyes back to him, he spoke, “you don’t need to be here. You can receive your pay, but I personally see no purpose for a matchmaker.”
Iroh frowned at his words, “Zuko, you need to give it a chance! Unlike all those ladies who keep throwing themselves at you. Besides, she seems rather good at her job.” His gaze was on his nephew as he sighed, giving Y/N an apologetic look that she simply waved off.
“Oh, it’s fine. It just won’t be for long.” Zuko raised a brow at her words, and Y/N watched his feet shifted, “no need to prepare for a fight, your majesty.” She hummed, rolling her neck, in the corner of her eye she could see shock flash in his own. “You see, as a matchmaker I do several things, including developing a little... profile of my clients. Now we just met but I can already tell you a variety of things about you that’s making your love life rather trivial.” Even before she had to develop the profiles professionally, in the lower rings of Ba Sing Se, being capable of reading others was a necessary skill.
Zuko’s eyes narrowed at her, “and what have you determined, in the very short time we’ve known each other.”
A small laugh escaped her as she extended her arms and cracked her knuckles, “well. You have major trust issues, which is why you are desperately trying to keep me at arms length. That’s one reason why you have yet to find someone.” Turning her attention to the decor of the large room, Y/N closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. “Given the lack of interior design, I would say you’re struggling with social aspects of your job, and you need a partner. One that I can help you find.” 
“See! I told you she’s good at what she does.” Iroh exclaimed, moving forward to clap a hand onto Y/N’s shoulder, much to Zuko’s dismay. 
Y/N gave the older man a small smile before looking back to Zuko, who eyed her wearily, “you keep avoiding the portrait of your father. But you can’t bring yourself to take it down.” She said, and Y/N could practically feel the tension building with each word. “He’s one of the reasons you’ve yet to find a lover-”
“Because he gave me the scar?” 
Y/N paused, brows furrowing at his words, her eyes found his, “I’m sorry, was that a joke?” She asked, and Iroh stared between the two, amused. “You’re actually rather attractive, which is why I know this is a personality thing. Probably tired of the whole fancy court thing they have going on here, which I’m going to need to research...” Y/N pursed her lips, failing to notice the clear shock on Zuko’s face at her comment, and red flushing his cheeks. Waving off her thoughts, she looked back to him, “anyways. My assistants should’ve already cleared out about an hour in your schedule each day for our sessions. I’m going to be asking you some very personal questions. So, be ready!” 
And with that, Y/N waved to the two, bowing rather questionably shortly after, before heading off in the direction she’d seen Marcella and Evelyn go in. Effectively leaving behind a baffled Zuko, and a rather satisfied Iroh, who began to laugh at Zuko’s reaction. “I really like her, quite the character she has.” 
“Yeah, quite the character.” He brought a hand to his temple, “is this really necessary, Uncle?” 
Iroh simply sighed, looking to his nephew, “whether you want to admit it or not, she was right. Ruling a nation is difficult, and ruling it alone is even harder.” A small huff of laughter escaped Iroh, “and she figured that out by your lack of interior design!” 
Exhaling deeply, Zuko reminded himself that this was all part of the job, the job that consumed his entire life. The life that this girl had analyzed in a matter of moments. 
Yeah, he wasn’t looking forward to their meetings.
Though his morals and his disagreement with practically selling your own child were a major factor in his lack of a love life. There was also the simple fact that there was no love in many of the interactions he had with potential suitors, much less genuine interest. They all wanted the power he could give them should they get married.
There was also the fact that Zuko had very little relationship experience, a fact he was trying to ignore. At the end of the day, he couldn’t bring himself to approach anyone, and if he did, he wouldn’t know what to do. Zuko also doubted that people would act... genuine around him, especially if they knew who he was. And all he really wanted was something real, considering his entire day was surrounded by fake smiles that belonged to both him and others.
It seemed that Y/N wasn’t prepared to ignore this piece of information though, since the following morning she’d seated him down and begun to speak of it, “so. You’ve been in two relationships.”
His brows furrowed, “one actually.” He and Mai had broken up about six months into his work as Fire Lord, “Mai.”
Raising a brow at him, she leaned back in the seat. Zuko couldn’t help but wonder how she managed to decorate the place in such a short period of time, as he could’ve sworn there hadn’t been a desk here the previous day. Then again, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d toured his own palace. “Well, I’ve heard rumors of you and a Southern Water Tribe member, but I’m not sure which one so I just-”
“Okay! That’s enough.” His cheeks were flushed red as he looked away.
Y/N grinned at him, leaning forwards, “then let’s discuss Mai. You two were pretty on and off, right?” 
Zuko grimaced at the thought, they were. He wouldn’t deny that he’d gone back to her a few times during his time as Fire Lord, “yeah.” 
Y/N began to write into her notebook, “tell me about her.”
“I don’t see why that’s important.” Came his response, looking at her quizzically as he frowned.
Tilting her head at him, Y/N gave Zuko a look, “come on. Let me do my job, I need to know about her to gauge what types of personalities you like while also determining why the two of you broke it off entirely.” She placed the book down, and Zuko could very clearly see the words ‘commitment issues’ underlined. “The goal isn’t just to find you a suitable wife that can help you rule, but someone you can be happy with.”
He’s silent for a moment, eyes on Y/N, her words seem honest. And this was her job, “she was blunt. Honest. Kind of mean at times, but she could be sweet as well. Pretty stoic, expressing her emotions was always... difficult for her.” 
Y/N nodded slowly, scribbling a few more things down, “okay. And what’s your favorite color?” 
“What type of question is that?” Zuko asked, brows furrowing in confusion. 
Crossing her arms, Y/N shrugged, “well. Favorite colors can tell you a lot about a person.” Came her response, “mine is green. Maybe that’s because I associate green with the Earth Kingdom, where I lived. Or maybe it’s because I happen to like nature quite a bit.” Looking around, Zuko could see that she’d already gotten a variety of plants native to the Fire Nation, most were succulents due to the almost year round heat.
At the mention of colors, his mind immediately went back to his first experience with the dragons, when their fire encircled him and Aang. “I.. don’t know how to describe the color- colors?” Zuko’s brows drew together in thought, and Y/N looked at him.
“How would I not understand a color?” The confusion is clear in her voice as she looks at him. Y/N can practically see the nostalgia in his eyes as he looks to the balcony.
Sighing, Zuko shifted in his seat, “these dragons I met ended up making a circle of fire around me and there were just... so many colors. But together it was just,” he paused, searching for the right word, “beautiful.”
Y/N’s mouth gaped open for a moment, “you met dragons?” She exclaimed, nearly throwing her notebook aside. Y/N had never seen such creatures, in fact, the general consensus was that they were still extinct
Zuko seemed to forget about this fact as he straightened himself, eyes meeting hers, “you can’t tell anyone about them!” He exclaimed, “they were hunted to extinction, though I intend to outlaw such things it’s just...” 
She nodded in understanding, “people break laws.” Y/N leaned back into her seat once more, “you owe me a dragon story.” She said, before crossing her legs in her seat and continuing, “favorite food?”
“Well, Aang took me to Avatar Day, and they had these weird Avatar shaped dough things.” He explained, recalling the time he’d gone with Aang and the others. Apparently they used to burn his statue, but now they worship him for some reason.
Y/N brought a hand under her chin, “I have no idea what that is.” She began to scribble something down on her notepad, “but okay.”
“What about you?”
Y/N hummed in response, “what do you mean?” 
Zuko felt his cheeks warm, “this just feels like an interview.”
“Probably because it is an interview.” Y/N said, gesturing for him to elaborate.
Looking away, Zuko frowned, “it’s weird.” Sighing, he spoke once more, “so, what’s your favorite food?” 
Y/N was silent for a moment, staring at Zuko, who was trying his hardest to avoid her gaze. This was a rare occurrence, seeing as most nobles were rather self-centered and liked talking about themselves. She’d never had a client who felt uncomfortable with this portion because it was basically a one-sided conversation. “Jennamite is a good rock candy.”
Zuko turns back to her, a small laugh escaping him, “my friends were nearly killed in Jennamite by the King of Omashu once.” 
“I’m sorry, what?”
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ATTEMPT ONE
Y/N wouldn’t deny how odd it was, to be sharing as much information as she was learning about Zuko. She’d never really considered just how personal some of the questions were until she found herself answering them. But, after about a month, she had assembled a pretty good array of potential suitors for Zuko. Along with a few of her own clients, Y/N had found some girls that from the Fire Nation that seemed pretty acceptable.
That’s what she had thought at least.
“What do you mean, you already rejected her?” 
Turns out, Zuko had met half the women, and rejected them. The other half were either from the Earth Kingdom, or yet to attend one of few Galas that Zuko hosted. Seeing as he handed off most of that work to his advisors, it was rare for him to remain at Galas for an extended period of time. 
He grimaced at Y/N’s words nonetheless, his Uncle had informed her of his situation, but clearly not the extent of it. “She was more interested in her guard than me. It was a power grab her parents likely forced her into.” He remembered the girl, she’d been kind to him, but she clearly didn’t want him as much as her parents did.
His words brought about a new level of understanding for Y/N, who nodded slowly, of course it was the parents that Zuko had a problem with. It wasn’t uncommon for nobles to practically throw their children at potential suitors as though they’re a bag of coins. It was something that disgusted her as well, her job found people companions that they liked while these people simply wished for an addition to their power.
Zuko was the ultimate power grab. Y/N could only imagine how many times this had happened to him, random people he’d never met approaching him, offering their child’s hand in marriage. 
Bringing a hand to her temple, Y/N sighed, “but the rest are fine?” 
He nodded slowly, flipping through the pages he had yet to remove, Zuko skimmed what Y/N had written. Taking note of her handwriting, he wondered if she’d written his profile like this. “Yeah...” Y/N narrowed her eyes at him, and Zuko sighed, removing a few more pages from the binder she’d presented him with. 
Exhaling deeply, Y/N brought a hand to Zuko’s shoulder, “be honest with me. I’m not gonna yell at you for removing them Zuko, this is for you.”
Sometimes he forgot it was her job to be nice to him. 
“Right.” He mumbled, trying to shake off the feeling he got as she removed her hand. “That’s still... a lot of people. Some of which aren’t even in this nation.” Zuko pointed out, a queasy feeling within him as he looked at her.
Y/N plopped down onto the couch in the common room they’d met in, sprawling her body across it, “you’re right, there is a lot. But,” She twisted her body so that she could see him, wiggling her brows suggestively, “it’s been a while since you hosted a Gala.” 
Zuko’s face dropped at her words, in his years of being Fire Lord, he’d had about three total, and hated every single one. But given how rare the Galas were, people got pretty excited when he threw them. “I hate planning those, it’s a waste of time and-” 
A small smile was on her face as she interrupted him, “and you suck at planning them? I can tell by the decor of your palace.” Glaring at her, Zuko watched as she shifted so that her head hung off the couch upside down, “well. This will be the best Gala yet, you’ll impress all the ladies that you can’t meet in the immediate future in about...” Y/N looked to the watch on her wrist, brows furrowing, “eight months. And I’ll help you plan it, since you desperately need help-”
“Alright, I get it, I’m horrible.” He grumbled, crossing his arms as he leaned back against his seat across from her after placing the binder on the coffee table between them. “Eight months isn’t a lot of time,” traditionally, Gala’s took at least a year’s worth of planning and preparation, especially since Zuko was so busy he barely had the time to assist in the process. Eight months was no where near enough.
Y/N was still frowning at his words, “no self-deprecation.” She ordered, taking Zuko by surprise, before continuing, “regardless. I’ve planned Gala in less time with less resources. It’ll be fine.” Pursing her lips Y/N sighed, “now we need to discuss your inability to talk to people in general due to your immense trust issues and constant battle field mentality.” 
Zuko’s mouth gaped open at her words, “excuse me?”
Bringing her hands to rest on her stomach as she laid upside down, Y/N spoke, “when we first met you looked like you contemplated attacking me. And when you met Marcella and Evelyn, I’ve never seen someone so awkward.” Zuko is silent and looks away, only proving her point as Y/N continued, “so we need to practice your people skills, and flirting for future reference, seeing as your first date is in about a week-”
Almost immediately, Zuko straightened his posture, sitting up and looking to her as though she’d thrown a bucket of ice cold water onto him. “A week?” He winced at the way his voice cracked.
“Yeah, I spoke with one of the girls, not her parents, and asked her to meet with you later in the week.” Y/N explained, “her name is Elara, she’s in there.”
Frowning, Zuko reached for the binder and began to flip through the pages, “how’d you know I wasn’t going to get rid of her page?” Only to find the girl’s page, details on her personality, skills, hobbies and more on them.
A smirk spread across Y/N’s face, “she was one of few I was sure you’d keep.” With a sigh, Zuko looked back to Y/N, who still sat upside down, “now. You need to practice your romance skills, so come on.” She twisted her body, her legs falling to the side of the couch, and then moving onto the floor, Y/N stood. As the blood rushed to her head, a wave of dizziness came over her, and Y/N found herself stumbling slightly.
A hand came to her back and forearm, steadying her, “you need to practice walking.” Zuko laughed slightly, a nervous edge in his voice as he eyed her. 
Y/N brought a hand to her head as she laughed as well, “oh my...” Y/N blinked several times as the wave of dizziness passed, her hand gripping Zuko’s arm as she grounded herself. Looking up to him, she quickly realized how close they were and cleared her throat, releasing his arm.
He followed suit, removing his hands from her, “sorry-”
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Zuko.” 
The look her gives her almost hurts. Because Y/N can see the shock within his eyes as he nods slowly in response. She wonders what he’s thinking of as he she gives him a tight lipped smile, clapping her hands together as she turns back to him, “practice.” She repeated, mostly for herself.
And maybe offering to be the person he practiced on was her first mistake. 
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ATTEMPT FIVE
Y/N had learnt a lot about Zuko in the past four dates he’d been on. One of these things being the fact that Zuko was a wild card when it came to dates, and they seemed to either go very well with the girls contacting Y/N to let her know they wished for a second date, only for Zuko to reject the possibility. Or, they went very bad. And Zuko returned with some sort of drink splattered onto his clothing.
So, Y/N decided that the best course of action was to discover what exactly Zuko wasn’t mentioning, and to follow him with a disguise. Evelyn had suggested it, Iroh supported the idea full-heartedly, though Marcella had believed it would be a huge invasion of privacy, Y/N didn’t really care, seeing as it was her job to be involved in Zuko’s love life. She was getting paid to ensure he found love. 
And she was curious.
That’s how Y/N ended up dressed in some very suspicious Fire Nation clothing alongside her assistants and the apparent Dragon of the West, famous tea shop owner, and member of the royal family. 
What a wonderful assortment of people.
Marcella and Evelyn had separated from Iroh and Y/N, sitting in another booth across from them, it was a feeble attempt to keep them from sticking out. The girl had chosen a rather upscale restaurant, so dressing appropriately while also maintaining a look that prevented Zuko from recognizing them. 
Y/N pulled her hat further down on her face as she looked to Iroh, who was browsing the menu. She wouldn’t be shocked if he entered the kitchen just to make himself a ‘decent’ cup of tea. He’d been rather helpful during the whole process, anything she didn’t find out from Zuko, Y/N had learnt from Iroh. “See anything you like, Iroh?”
He smiled at her, nodding slowly, “I think I’ll just take some tea.” 
Looking to Marcella and Evelyn, Y/N smiles, the two are speaking with one another like they aren’t supposed to be spying on the Fire Lord. But Y/N doesn’t mind, this was more of a recreational activity anyways, and she was glad they were having fun. Since they’d gotten to the Fire Nation two months ago there had been an... adjustment period to put it simply.
Y/N nodded at Iroh’s statement, and her eyes fell back onto Zuko and his newest date, Amaya, she was a simple girl. She’d possessed organizational skills that Zuko lacked, planned dozens of events, had the expressive qualities that Zuko yearned for in a partner. Amaya was one of few that Y/N was sure Zuko would take a liking to. Especially since she also had training in a variety of fighting styles, and was quite the Firebender. She’d been a little skeptical when she first contacted Amaya, the girl seemed hesitant, but she agreed.
And from the looks of it, he had. The pair was laughing along with each other, but Y/N could see the way Zuko stiffened at any physical contact, in general he’d yet to relax. If Y/N was honest, it was basically like any first date, awkward.
Zuko didn’t really know how to feel about Amaya, she was what he should be looking for in a girl, everything he needed if he was honest. She had an interest in the art, something Zuko had never taken to and the main reason his palace looked, ‘dull’ as Y/N had put it. And she was expressive, the main issue he’d had with Mai was her lack of expression. But, for some reason, Zuko just couldn’t see her as anything more than a good friend. There was something... off about her.
“When that Earth Kingdom girl approached me, I was skeptical.” Amaya explained, taking a sip from her glass, “you know how most Earth Kingdom folk are...” She gave him a look as Zuko listened in confusion. “The Fire Nation citizens simply have more class.” Amaya settled for with a shrug.
Oh.
Zuko laughed nervously, “I’m not sure I understand. I find Earth Kingdom citizens pretty pleasant actually, and Y/N, the one you met, she’s actually very resourceful and kind.” His mind went to Toph as well, who had invented an entirely new type of bending. She was an impressive young woman from the Earth Kingdom, and Y/N was as well, she’d started her own business at a young age and turned it into something incredible.
“Really? She didn’t seem too smart when I met her, but who can say no to a meeting with the Fire Lord?” 
Zuko was pretty sure her words were meant to be taken as a joke. But Amaya wasn’t the first person Zuko had encountered with this mindset, she was just more subtle about it. The supremacy of the Fire Nation was still an idea that ran rampant in some people’s minds, though Zuko had dealt with most disputes regarding his peaceful relations with other nations. Many still missed the time when the Fire Nation practically owned the world, where Fire Nation citizens could treat the people who had their homes taken from them however they pleased.
It was a dark time in his nation’s history, nonetheless, several people missed it. This was something rather prevalent amongst Nobles though, they were the ones who lost an immense amount of land when the war had ended. Many of them were bitter about what had happened. 
If Zuko was honest, she’d probably had these ideas drilled into her since birth, and simply hadn’t grown out of them, which was a shame. But as the ruler of a nation, he couldn’t rule beside someone who looked down on others simply because they weren’t from the Fire Nation.
Zuko shook his head, “Y/N built her business from the ground up. And now she’s helping the Fire Lord get dates.” He knows he sounds defensive, as though he’s prepared to fight her, something his Uncle would likely scold him for, but he doesn’t care at the moment.
“All she does is set you up with people.” 
Zuko’s brows furrowed at this comment, and he raised a hand to get the attention of the waiter, “excuse me, could I get the check please?” The young man nodded, heading off to get the check, and Amaya looked at him incredulously. 
Y/N had done far more than set him up with people, she’d helped him begin planning a Gala, she’d tried her best to find a good assortment of people that would fit both Zuko’s needs and the Fire Nation’s, and that list was probably very difficult to narrow down. Zuko had seen the work she put in for formulating profiles of the potential suitors, and throughout all of it she had done nothing but support him. 
“What are you doing?” Amaya asked, shifting in her seat as she stared at Zuko quizzically.
The waiter came over and handed Zuko the check, and Zuko placed a pouch of money on the table, “thanks. Keep the change.” He explained, nodding to the boy, who’s mouth gaped open in surprise as he took the pouch of money, bowing to Zuko repetitively, though Zuko wasn’t paying much attention to him as he spoke to Amaya. “I don’t think this is going to work out, I’m sorry.”
Amaya is still seated in shock as Zuko rises from his table, and Y/N can’t help it when her mouth gapes open at the sight of him simply abandoning his date. She makes eye contact with Iroh, who raises a brow, and they both sit up. She moves to follow Zuko, only to bump into someone. 
“I’m so sorry!” Y/N exclaims, moving down to help them pick up their hat, that had fallen when they collided.
“No, that was my fault entirely!” He responds, shaking his head as they both leaned town to pick it up.
“Aang, come on! He’s leaving.” The woman behind him exclaims.
Y/N’s brows furrow in recognition as she looks up to see a blue arrow tattooed on the man’s head, and her eyes widen in realization. Zuko had described Aang several times during their conversations, he and the rest of his friends came up often. But Y/N did not expect the first time she met the Avatar and his friends to be when they were both following Zuko on his date.
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ATTEMPT FOURTEEN
Y/N simply sighs as she opens her door to see Zuko, in the outfit she’d helped him pick out. “What was it this time?” He’d been on thirteen dates thus far, and Y/N was slowly realizing that Zuko was likely one of her most difficult clients. This was purely because he’d yet to get a second date, though there had been offers, Zuko had declined all of them. 
“She was just-” His hands gestured rather broadly, he was practically throwing them into the air, “she was so rude to the waiter.” This had always been a dealbreaker for him, since he’d worked as a waiter in two different tea shops, Zuko had come to understand the importance of treating a waiter with kindness and how difficult the work could be. 
His eyes dart between Y/N and her door, she’s rubbing her eyes due to the exhaustion and Zuko can’t help the guilt that floods him. Nonetheless, she opens the door wider, heading inside her room and signaling for him to close it as she falls back onto her bed. “You were a waiter once, yeah?” He’d told her a fair share about his life in the Earth Kingdom, she’d inquired quite a bit about that part of his life. 
He asked about her life in the Earth Kingdom too, and she’d told him how poor life could be the in the outer rings, something he’d experienced for himself. Zuko listened as she describe living after her parents had died, working for a matchmaker only to discover she was actually good at the job, making a name for herself in the outer rings and then making her way inwards until she was one of the most sought after matchmakers in the kingdom. Y/N spoke of how she’d met Marcella and Evelyn, and how she’d taken them in when she’d discovered they were both orphans, living on the streets as pickpockets.
Zuko wouldn’t help but laugh at this, he could imagine Evelyn as a pickpocket, but Marcella? She was a sweet girl, he couldn’t imagine her in a life of crime. Of course, desperation made people do questionable things. Zuko knew that much from experience. 
“Yeah, I was.” Came his response, taking a seat in the chair by her desk. 
Y/N sat up in her bed, bracing herself with her elbows as she raised a brow at him, “what are you doing?”
Zuko frowned, shifting in the chair, “sitting...?” He moved to get up but Y/N waved him off.
“Just lay with me, idiot.” She allowed her head to fall back onto the bed, patting the spot beside her. Clearly, her suggestion wasn’t bothering her, but Zuko felt his face flush at the possibility.
If he’s honest, he’s not even trying anymore when it comes to dates and women and love. There were three reasons for this, one of which was the fact that he simply wasn’t connecting with any of the women he had met thus far. Sure they were nice, and they probably would be his type has it not been for reason two. The fact that Zuko had realized he had feelings for Y/N, what feelings? He wasn’t sure, but they sure as hell weren’t platonic, if they were he would not be blushing this much. He wouldn’t get that weird feeling in his stomach whenever he spoke to her.
Then there was was reason three, if Zuko succeeded in finding love, then Y/N would leave. It was selfish, but he already knew he wouldn’t find anyone considering he pretty sure he loved someone else already. So now, Zuko was basically procrastinating letting Y/N know that this just wasn’t going to work out, mostly because he didn’t have a plan.
He was debating just firing her, but that likely wouldn’t go over well, and he wanted to see her business succeed. If you get fired by the Fire Lord, that just looks bad. Now Zuko wondered what the best way to go about this was, since there was no point in working for him, even if she was getting paid. He was a waste of time. 
He couldn’t help the smile graced his lips as his own thoughts reminded him of the time she’d scolded him, telling him to quit being self-deprecating. 
Zuko sat up from the chair, making his way over to her bed, Zuko found himself simply plopping down onto it face first, earning a laugh from Y/N.
He rolled over onto his back, turning to look at Y/N, only to find her eyes were already on him, bringing a blush to his cheeks as he mumbled, “what?”
“I’m just trying to figure out why you haven’t gotten a second date yet.” Came her response, propping herself up on her forearm. “You have a nice personality, you’re attractive, I’m sure at least one of the girls caught your eye.” Y/N sighed, running a hand through her hair as she began to wonder if she’d incidentally allowed her own feelings to get in the way of her work. Maybe that’s why this was going so badly.
This was a problem. 
Zuko simply shook his head, his face on fire as he listened to her words, though he couldn’t help the hand he brought to the scar on his face. Y/N had pointed out before that he was allowing his Father to control his actions even now that he was imprisoned, and Zuko was beginning to see what she meant. 
Removing his hand from his face, Zuko sighed. Though he didn’t have much time to dwell on his thoughts as her hand hesitantly came to his face, placing a hand on his cheek and allowing her thumb to brush against the scar. Zuko jumped at the sudden contact, and Y/N moved to withdraw her hand almost instantly, but Zuko’s hand came to hers and held it there. Looking to her, he couldn’t read the look in her eyes as she gazed at him, and suddenly he wished he was as good at reading people as she was. 
“No self-deprecating thoughts.” Y/N mumbled, “bad Zuko.” She removed her hand from his to flick his head, causing his brows to furrow.
He pouted, and Y/N let out a laugh as he spoke, “how come you haven’t found someone?” Zuko looked to her, “you’re beautiful, and smart, and just... perfect.” He didn’t notice when her cheeks warmed, “you’re a literal matchmaker, surely you’ve considered who your perfect person is.” 
Y/N fell onto her back, running her hands over her face as she shook her head, “how have you not gotten a second date?” A sigh escaped her, “I haven’t had time for love before, and I just haven’t found that,” looking to him, she pursed her lips, “perfect person.” Growing up in the lower rings, she didn’t have time for an actual relationship, and her business as a matchmaker grew incredibly quickly. At the end of the day, long term just didn’t work out, Y/N barely had for herself, much less another person.
“I guess we both suck at love.” Zuko said, his tone was serious and Y/N couldn’t help but burst out into laughter as she swatted at his chest.
Too bad they couldn’t suck at love together. 
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ATTEMPT SEVENTEEN THROUGH TWENTY EIGHT
Smoothing over her green dress, a sign of her citizenship in the Earth Kingdom, Y/N moved to answer the knock on her bedroom door. Given how long she’d been in the Fire Nation, Y/N wondered if the Earth Kingdom would still feel like home when she returned. The idea of going back felt odd, and though that time likely wasn’t soon unless Zuko met the love of his life tonight, it was inevitable.
And it horrified her. 
Holding the edge of the dress slightly to make it easier to walk, Y/N sighed and opened the door, seeing Zuko. A small smile on her face as she eyed his Fire Nation robes, “you look nice.” She complimented, tilting her head at him as she allowed her eyes to travel over his figure.
Zuko nodded, a blush coming over her cheeks, his mouth gaping open as he looked at Y/N. “You look beautiful.” She did, the dress looked amazing on her, her hair styled just right, and bracelets adorning her wrists.
“Thank you, Fire Lord Zuko.” His nose crinkled at the use of his title, coming from her it felt even weirder, wrong almost. But she continued, “mind helping me out?” She asked, moving back to her desk and taking a necklace in hand. Y/N had been struggling to put it on for the past few minutes, and now she had someone to do it for her.
He nodded, closing the door behind him, he took the necklace from her hand, and when Y/N ensured her hair was out of his way, Zuko brought the necklace around her neck. He secured the clasp, hands lingering as he adjusted it to the center of her neck. Zuko couldn’t help but notice a small scar on her shoulder, hand brushing over it.
Y/N looked over her shoulder and to him, brow raised, “how’d you get this?” He asked, brows drawn together. His hand traced the raised skin gently, Y/n could feel her cheeks warming at his touch, inhaling deeply. 
She grimaced, “a knife fight I almost lost my life to.” Was her explanation. Y/N didn’t like to think back to the days when she’d resorted to several... questionable actions to stay alive. But she pushed those thoughts away as she turned to face him. “You ready?” Y/N asked, they had to get to the Gala soon, considering the fact that Zuko was the host, Y/N was shocked he’d even stopped by her room in the first place.
Zuko was silent, simply nodding as he extended his arm for her to take. And Y/N did, looping her arm around his as she smiled, “you are gonna woo so many Earth Kingdom women tonight!” Y/N exclaimed, more confidence in her voice than Zuko had.
Shame the only Earth Kingdom girl he wanted to ‘woo’ was her.
When they’d arrived at the Gala, descending the stairs together, they were greeted with the claps of the other guests. Zuko would feel the anxiety flood him, but he paid it no mind. Though Y/N could feel the way he stiffened as he ended his speech to the diplomats of all nations, “let this be a peaceful, and joyous night!” 
They all burst out into cheers before the party continued, the music starting once more, and everyone returning to feasting upon the buffet, dancing along the ballroom floor or speaking with one another. All while Y/N led Zuko down the stairs, dragging him by the hand, “come on. Enjoy your own party, meet some girls.” She winked, and Zuko swore his face heated up even more than it already had. 
Y/N wasn’t a fool, she knew that if she’d stuck by his side the entire night, she would serve as a repellant of any potential suitors. So naturally, much to Zuko and Y/N’s dismay, she removed herself from him, playfully shoving him towards a group of Earth Kingdom girls she’d mentioned earlier. Though there were several other clusters in the ballroom.
Zuko simply sighed, giving Y/N a small smile before making his way to the group of girls. If he was honest, he would rather be spending the Gala by her side, but he had to put in some effort. He owed Y/N that much. Besides, this was an entirely new group of girls, maybe he would find someone tonight. 
“Hi there.” Zuko greeted, waving awkwardly at the girls. 
This action earned him a few laughs, and he was unsure if they actually found it funny or felt the need to laugh since he was the Fire Lord. Shortly after they began introducing themselves, speaking like there was no tomorrow. 
If Zuko was honest, the number of women here was overwhelming. So, as he excused himself from the conversation, much to their chagrin, he placed his cup down on the platter of one of many waiters. Making his way outside, Zuko couldn’t help but feel relieved at the fresh air that hit him on the balcony. Though he contemplated heading back inside when he noticed another girl was already there, eyes shut as she faced the sky, she turned to see him, eyes widening a fraction. “I’m sorry, I can go-”
“No!” She exclaimed, cheeks flushing in embarrassment due to her outburst, “no... it’s fine.” She turned back to look at the sky, hand clasped together, fidgeting.
Zuko stepped forward, finding himself situated across from her, leaning against the railing, “so why are you out here?”
A small laugh escaped the girl, and she ran a hand through her hair, “it’s rather stress relieving. You have a lovely view in your palace.” 
He couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he realized she recognized him, though Zuko nodded along, “what’s your name? If you don’t mind me asking?” It was a stupid question, and Zuko nearly facepalmed as he pursed his lips.
“Aileen.” Came her response, and Zuko realized he recognized her name as well. She was the child of one of the more well known members of Fire Nation nobility, her parents had approached him in the past in hopes of arranging a marriage between the two of them. He had declined almost immediately. And now that Aileen turned to him, he had a feeling he made the right decision, “you’re Zuko, right?” 
He exhaled deeply, nodding, “that’s me.” Sometimes, Zuko wondered what his life would’ve been like if he wasn’t Zuko, perhaps things would’ve been simpler. No, things definitely would’ve been simpler. There would be no diplomatic meetings, no wars, no idiots trying to hurt other people, no more assassination attempts, no more fake smiles and no more Galas. Of course, if he wasn’t Zuko, he never would’ve met Y/N.
“I heard you’re looking for a partner in crime.” Aileen prompted, “why aren’t you in there finding that future love of your life?” 
Shrugging, Zuko looked up at the sky, “I found her. She just doesn’t want me.”
He can feel Aileen stare at him, she’s silent for a moment, and Zuko wonders what she’s thinking. Though he doesn’t need to wait long to find out as she responds, “I understand.” Aileen focuses her gaze on the glass she’d placed on the thick railing of the balcony, “the person I love probably doesn’t love me back. And even if they did, my parents disapprove.”
“Did you ask?” He felt hypocritical, Zuko himself had never spoken with Y/N in regards to his feelings, and he likely never would, but he wanted to know. “If they love you?”
Aileen laughs slightly, shaking her head, “I couldn’t bring myself to. I’m scared.” She replied, looking back to him curiously, “did you?”
“No.” He responded lamely, tapping his fingers against the railing with a sigh.
Aileen laughed at this, “I guess we are both cowards then.” She pursed her lips, “I didn’t ask because I was scared, why didn’t you?”
And then the words come spilling out, “whoever I end up with will greatly impact the whole world, whether I want to acknowledge it or not. And she doesn’t deserve that burden, nobody does.” He laughs bitterly as he continues, “she’s also the person that was hired to help me find love in the first place.” Zuko pauses, looking away from Aileen, “and I guess I’m scared too.”
“Ironic.” Aileen mumbles, bringing her eyes back to the sky, “let’s make a deal, Your Majesty.” 
Zuko cringes at the use of that title, almost asking her to simply refer to him by his name, though he simply responds, “what deal?”
“We both confess. And if it goes horribly wrong, we can get married.” 
Y/N can’t see the shock on Zuko’s face, but she can see how comfortable he feels with this girl, Y/N hadn’t seen her before, but she was just happy Zuko was connecting with someone. Except she also wasn’t, a bitter feeling enveloping her as she turned away, looking for something else to focus her attention on, something that didn’t hurt. 
She turned to see Marcella and Evelyn in the distance, speaking with each other. Y/N supposed if she wouldn’t be finding love tonight, then at least they would. She was no fool, she saw the way they looked at each other, the glances when the other wasn’t looking. Maybe it was dumb, but Y/N found herself feeling jealous as she moved over to the buffet with a sigh. Food solved everything in her experience, after a client had a particularly bad day, food made things better.
“Perhaps some tea?” Iroh stood beside her, a kettle in his hand, he had insisted he serve tea at the Gala, though Zuko had assured him it would be just as easy to find someone else to do the job.
Y/N smiled at him, nodding as she took a cup from the array of them within the buffet, allowing Iroh to pour her some tea. “Thank you, Iroh.” Her voice is quieter than normal, and it’s clear that Iroh can tell something is wrong.
“You know, you deserve to be happy to Y/N.” His words catch her by surprise, though she doesn’t have much time to consider their meaning before flames lighting the room begin to move erratically, causing her brows to furrow.
Something was wrong. 
Iroh nods to her, placing the tea kettle down as his brow furrow and she nods back, Iroh disappearing into the crowd of people. Y/N’s eyes fall back to Marcella and Evelyn, and she quickly moves to their side of the room, ignoring the hush that had fallen over the room, panicked gasps amongst them. Her hands fall onto both girl’s arms as she nods to them, “Y/N, whats going-”
Y/N is already dragging them in the direction of the exit, “get out of here, find the guards. I’m going to find Zuko.” The girls didn’t have much time to argue, as Y/N was already working her way through the panicked crowd, back to the balcony where she’d last seen Zuko. But, people were already pushing against her movements, making it difficult. Raising her head above the crowd in an attempt to see what’s going on, Y/N realizes whats happening. 
Firebenders were trying to force them together, and Y/N couldn’t help but panic as she wondered if Marcella and Evelyn managed to escape and find the guards. 
This was an ambush.
No, this was an assassination attempt. Zuko already knew as he watched the atmosphere of the party begin to shift, that and the person who stood before him in all black, brandishing several weapons. Alongside four others who stood by her side. 
“You know, it wasn’t until I met you that I realized how bad it had gotten.” Aileen stood beside Zuko, eyes meeting his in horror as they exchanged looks. Zuko simply hoped the nod he gave her provided some semblance of comfort as he returned his attention to the person before him. “I mean, defending some lowly Earth Kingdom matchmaker? What type of career even is that?” 
Her voice is almost maniacal, and Zuko can’t help but wince as he feels reminded of his sister. But he recognizes it nonetheless, Amaya. It had been months since he’d seen her, but he could still remember her voice. Her face was covered by a mask, and she wielded a sword, and if Zuko remembered correctly, she had been trained in dozens of fighting styles and was a talented bender herself. Alongside the four other men, Zuko couldn’t help but panic internally as he spoke, “Amaya, why don’t you put the swords down, and we talk about this.”
She laughs in response, ripping the mask that covered her face off and throwing it aside, “people have tried to talk to you about this. Your-” She grappled for the word, a hand yanking at her hair as she gestured to him with a sword, “your radical ideas!” 
Zuko didn’t find having morals radical, but he wasn’t going to say that, not while Aileen’s life was on the line. Zuko suddenly realized why having an heir was important as he shook his head, “Amaya, look. Why don’t you let Aileen here leave, and then you and I can talk.” 
Aileen looks like she’s going to protest, but Amaya glances at her red robes, a sign of her Fire Nation citizenship, and gestures for her to leave. “Get out. My problem isn’t with you.” 
When Aileen doesn’t move, Amaya quickly grows frustrated, calling out to one of the guards she’d brought along that lied inside, “take this fool away.” 
There’s no response, and Zuko can see panic flood Amaya’s face. And looking behind her, he quickly realizes that most of the guards have been subdued, Y/N holding one of them in her arms as she knocks them to the ground. Moving towards the balcony stealthily as Amaya’s hands begin to shake, fire sparking in her palms as she focused her attention onto Zuko. “You’re going to pay for what you’ve done to our nation.” 
But Zuko wasn’t looking at her as he shook his head, hoping Y/N would understand. There was no way she could overpower Amaya, not with her bending. Y/N didn’t even have a weapon.
Now, Y/N knew for a fact that no matter how talented Zuko was, he wouldn’t put the girl beside him in danger. His priority would be keeping her alive, and given the training Amaya had as a noble, in both Firebending and fighting, she might even be as good as Zuko in a fight.
Meaning she had to be taken out of the fight.
Everything happened pretty fast after that. Zuko was shielding body coming forward to shield Aileens as he extended his freehand to Firebend at the people who’d surrounded them, only for Amaya to move out of the way. The girl was practically screaming bloody murder as she lunged at him, now wielding her sword. 
Zuko didn’t have to figure out what to do next because Y/N moved faster than Amaya did, tackling the girl over the railing and down below as he began to scream. 
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THE FINAL ATTEMPT
Zuko’s knee is bouncing rapidly as he sits beside Iroh, who knits a scarf of some sort despite the blistering heat of the Fire Nation. He’s insisted that when Y/N returned to the Earth Kingdom she’d need it, and Zuko didn’t have the heart to disagree. Iroh had started stress-knitting about four hours ago, when Y/N had entered the room they all sat before, anxiously awaiting news of her condition.
Marcella and Evelyn are to Zuko’s left, Marcella’s sobs had quieted down, but Zuko wouldn’t be shocked if he looked over and saw tears silently streaming down her face. The girl hadn’t taken it well. Evelyn remained composed, doing her best to comfort Marcella, but the wait was clearly getting to her as well as she fidgeted with Marcella’s hands.
Seeing as Y/N had fallen from several stories up off the balcony and into the water below, Zuko didn’t really think it was possible to take the news well. But he was trying. 
A pang sounded from inside the room, and Zuko practically shot up onto his feet, moving to knock on the door to discover was was wrong, only for Iroh to grab his wrist, shaking his head. Zuko exhaled deeply, beginning to pace across the hall. He found himself wishing that Katara hadn’t been busy with Water Tribe business, she was an excellent healer. Alas, Katara wasn’t there, and Zuko had to settle for one of the skilled Water Tribe diplomats instead, alongside a few others skilled in medicine. 
As he paced, Zuko could feel Evelyn’s eyes on him, and it became clear she was itching to speak and he sighed, “what’s wrong?” There were dozens of answers to this question, the main one being the fact that Y/N could die today, so he hoped she understood what he meant.
The girl is glaring at him, and Zuko can’t help but feel uneasy. Because maybe she blames him for this as much as he blames himself, and maybe she’s going to tell him off, blame him for everything. Because if Y/N dies, she and Marcella will have no one again. 
Not that Zuko would allow that. He’d grown attached to the girls as well, they were kind, and helpful. They’d help improve the interior decor of the palace, and if he was honest, it looked better than anything he ever could’ve done.
“You better tell her how you feel after this.”
Zuko’s mouth gapes open at the girl’s words, and he swears the breath leaves his longs, and its as though everything hits him then. 
He would never get to tell Y/N how he felt if she died. He’d never get to listen to her try and tell a story just to go off on dozens of tangents, he’d never get to watch as she attempted to cook again, and he’d never get to hold her in his arms once more. There would be no more late night talks, and he wouldn’t hear her laugh, she wouldn’t tease him anymore and they wouldn’t walk through the courtyard feeding turtleducks again.
She’d never know he loved her.
Zuko finds himself nodding to Evelyn’s words, frozen in place as he looks to her and asks, “was I that obvious?” His voice is hoarse, and its probably because he didn’t stop screaming, even when Y/N’s body hit the water. 
Marcella is laughing at his words, blowing her nose into a tissue that Evelyn hands her before she speaks, “painfully obvious.”
“For someone who’s job revolves around love, Y/N is one of the most oblivious people I’ve ever met.” Evelyn grumbles out, rubbing her eyes as she yawns.
It was late, Zuko knew that much, the guests of the party had gone to the infirmary in the palace, being tended to by doctors and any other available healers if injured. Otherwise, they’d all returned to their rooms to sleep, or more likely stay up in fear of another attack. Zuko surely would.
“Go to bed guys, it’s getting late.” 
Evelyn looks at him like he’s one of the dumbest people she’s met, and if Zuko was honest, he probably was. But he simply nodded to Marcella, who had started leaning her head against Evelyn’s shoulder, eyes fluttering shut. “Uncle, why don’t you take them back to their rooms?”
Considering the fact that Zuko’s guards were around the corner, he wasn’t scared for his safety, but their presence just made him want to remain awake. 
“Nephew, you should sleep as well.” His Uncle replied, though he rose from his seat, bringing the yarn and the start of the scarf under his arm. 
Zuko gave his Uncle a smile, “I will. But if anything happens before then, I’ll be sure to alert you all.” He assured, nodding to Evelyn, who eyed him wearily. But she relented, shaking Marcella gently before standing up alongside her and Iroh. 
When they were out of sight, Zuko plopped back down in the seat, his elbows resting on his knees as he brought his hands to his face.
And for the first time in the night he cried, his body racked with sobs as tears streamed down his face and he struggled to breathe. The pain of all that had happened felt almost unbearable. She had to live. Y/N had to live. Because Zuko was going to confess. 
His fear of losing her outweighed his fear of rejection.
Wiping his tears away, Zuko suddenly felt grateful that Evelyn had left the box of tissues as he blew his nose. He sighed, his eyes piercing the door, hoping that something would happen.
As though his stare had willed her to exit the room, the healer came out, a grimace on her face as she looked to Zuko, likely because of his bloodshot eyes. The woman simply sighed, the grimace becoming a more sympathetic look. “Miss L/N lost a lot of blood... several of her bones were broken when she hit the water, especially her ribs. Her internal organs were damaged as well and... well it wasn’t very likely for her to survive.”
She’s dead.
Y/N is dead.
Oh.
“Wow, you look like a mess.” 
Zuko’s head whips up, his eyes meeting Y/N’s, she’s leaning against a wooden crutch, grinning lazily at him. The healer beside her looks rather apologetic as she frantically explains, “she woke up far quicker than we anticipated and only agreed to rest if we participated in her rather cruel prank.”
So, she wasn’t a ghost.
Zuko launches himself up from the chair, nearly tackling Y/N, but the wooden crutch she uses for support serves as a reminder of her fragile state as he asks, “can I hug you?”
Her smile falters at the sound of his voice, hoarse and jagged, so she simply extends are free arm outward. Zuko takes this as an invitation for a hug, gently wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his head in her neck, Y/N wrapped her free arm around his neck, hand finding its way to the hair at the nape of his neck. “Im s-”
“It’s not your fault Zuko. I swear if you say its your fault I will throw myself over the balcony again.” She threatened, hand tightening in his hair.
Zuko laughs quietly, inhaling deeply before he speaks again, “please never do that again.” 
“I make no promises.”
Sighing, Zuko releases her, “I hate you so much.” 
Y/N scoffed, “you love me.” She was limping over to the bed in the middle of the room, blood coating the surrounding area. Though the doctors in the room were moving across the room that they’d placed Y/N on, and dealt with her injuries on, Zuko couldn’t help but feel sick at the sight.
She could’ve died.
“Yeah, I do.”
Y/N pauses, turning to look back at him, her mouth gapes open. Zuko’s looking away, eyes on anything but her as he inhales deeply.
The healer simply sighs, “before we do this, I should inform the two of you that Miss Y/N cannot do any... strenuous activities for at least one month.”
Zuko’s cheeks are flushing red as he shakes his head rapidly, “ma’am-”
“We’ll be taking our leave. Have fun, but not too much fun. Please.” The woman closes the door behind her once the other doctors are out of the room, and Y/N can’t stop laughing at the mortified expression on Zuko’s face, despite the sharp pain she feels in her ribs.
Taking a seat on the fresh sheets of the bed, Y/N sighs, “so you love me?” She’s picking at the sheets, “as a friend?”
Zuko suddenly realizes just how right Evelyn was as he slowly shakes his head, “no. More than a friend. I think I inadvertently sabotaged half of the dates you sent me on because of it.”
Y/N laughs quietly, eyes falling on Zuko only to see he’s looking anywhere but her, she calls out to him quietly, “Zuko. Look at me.”
He doesn’t hesitate to bring his gaze to her, eyes meeting hers as he begins to fidget with his hand. Y/N simply reaches her hand out, and he takes it. “I love you too, idiot.” She mumbles, pulling him closer and wrapping her arms around his waist. “I just wish you had told me sooner so I didn’t waste so much time trying to set you up with other women.” 
A small laugh escapes him as he brings his hand to her hair, “how do I know you weren’t purposely giving me bad matches because you were in love with me?” 
Y/N removes her head from his stomach, looking up at him, her nose crinkles, “unlike you, I am a professional.” Zuko flicks her forehead, and Y/N pouts at him, hand coming up to his face, “can I kiss you?”
She can feel his face warm, but he nods rather enthusiastically nonetheless, and Y/N finds herself smiling at his as she uses her hands to pull his face downward towards her. His lips meet hers, and Zuko finds himself feeling complete, hands coming to Y/N’s face in an attempt to pull her closer while hers move to his ball up his robes that he’d yet to change.
 Zuko pulls away first, forehead resting on hers, “you need to sleep.” 
Y/N scoffed, eyes narrowing at him, “you need to sleep.” Looking to the bed, she raises a brow at him, “wanna lay with me?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, I could accidentally injure you or-”
Rolling her eyes, Y/N yanks him onto the bed, making her way to the other side and getting comfortable, “I’ll be fine.”
Yeah, everything would be fine. Maybe not for the Fire Nation, seeing as Y/N would potentially help rule a nation but...
Everything would be fine.
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in·am·o·ra·ta/iˌnaməˈrädə/
noun
a woman with whom one is in love or has intimate relations.
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A/N: i hope this was good enough!!! i tried!!! and idk how it ended up over 12k... that’s crazy man um kjhdsajfhjkah omg i really liked this concept though i hope i did it justice
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TAGLISTS [lmk if you want to be added or removed via askbox or replies]
ATLA: @bubblebars​ @jada-cleo​ @Art-flirt @the-deli-meat​ @wemissyou3000​ @ajediherowitchrunner​
ZUKO: @outerxorbit @shawkneecaps @lil-lex1 @boxofteenageideas @izzieserra @eridanuswave @bigbuckyenergy @celamoon @savemesteeb @shephard17895 @ijustwannabecanadian @duh-dobrik @anime-simp @lammello  
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writemyaceattorneys · 3 years
Note
I am here once again, this time with a request for my man. Can I get a yandere scenario where S/O, after having broken up with Barok, visits him one last time to provide him closure since he just isn't moving on from them? Thanks, hun!
“My Reaper brings all the simps to the blog” so hell yeah!!!! I freaking love Wine man :D Especially when he’s a bit of a yandere 😳 I hope that you love this!!!!
Thank you for being so supportive too ^^; you’re a really good friend!
A lot of this did end up being dialogue ^^; but I suppose that in this scenario, dialogue would be the only way to convey this kind of topic but I hope that people like this scenario. It took me a day longer than I thought it would to finish 🤣🤣🤣
TW: Yandere behaviour, obsessive and possessive behaviour, attempted gaslighting, threatening behaviour, arguments.
🍷Barok van Zieks🍷
S/O sighed as they looked up at the imposing set of doors in front of them as they reached their hand out to use the door knocker. Three sharp knocks filled the silence while they waited for the doors to open. In this time they took a moment to steady their resolve, to prepare for whatever awaited them behind those cold doors.
When the doors opened, S/O came face to face with Barok’s butler, his eyes lightened up in recognition of S/O as he extended the door open to invite them in.
“Thank heavens you’re here, S/O. I hate to speak ill of the Viscount but....he’s been acting very strangely these days, I think that you being here will help to soothe that temper of his.” He whispered, looking around as he did so as if the walls were listening in on the two of them.
S/O knew full well that the walls did tend to listen in on conversations that would have normally been lost to the silence of the hallways.
“I shall fetch Lord van Zieks for you now, please wait here, we shouldn’t be too long, especially if he knows that it is you who has come to visit him today.” The Butler stated before giving a short bow and walking off. S/O looked around at the familiar walls in the meantime, grimacing at the amount of darkness there was, they supposed that Barok had taken to brooding ever since they had left and if they squinted, they could see small dents in the wall as well as some damp spots which had probably been the aftermath of the destruction of a few hallowed chalices. They cringed at the show of anger, shaking their head before turning away from it and towards the door that the butler had left through.
“-tell you, if the person waiting at that door isn’t anyone of importance then you can say goodbye to your job.” S/O heard Barok’s voice from behind the door, it sounded colder than usual, as if his words were tipped with sharp spikes of ice. S/O gulped slightly at the sound, bracing for Barok to enter the room that they were currently standing in.
The door swung open as S/O took in a deep breath, standing in front of them now was the man himself, Barok van Zieks. Albeit, a more haggard looking Barok van Zieks who seemed to be uncaring about the shadow of a beard on his face and heavy eye bags. For a moment, the two of them could only stare at each other, Barok’s mouth hung open slightly as he took in the fact that S/O was here with him, right there in close distance.
“Angel…?” Barok gasped, still staring straight at them in shock. How long had it been? Three months…? Three long months where S/O just wasn’t there by his side until right now.
“Barok, I’m here to talk to you.” S/O stated, trying desperately to keep their voice from shaking too much as they slowly walked over to him, internally they were trying to prepare for what Barok’s reaction could be, throughout their relationship, S/O learned that Barok could sometimes react badly to things. After taking a few moments to think about how they were going to word what they were going to say, they started to speak.
“I understand that the way that we broke off our courtship...it wasn’t the best. I think that a lot of unfair things were said on both sides and I apologise for my part in that, but a lot of people are worried about you. A member of your staff asked me to come and I thought that maybe you might just need some time to move on from the relationship, but three months have passed now and I’m really concerned.” They blathered, ending their rant by looking up at Barok to try and gauge his reaction.
Barok had seemingly froze for a second, although he quickly snapped himself out of his daze in order to pull S/O into his arms, clutching them tightly against his chest as he ran his hands through their hair. S/O started to pull away, struggling against his firm grip before finally jolting away from him.
“Barok, stop it. We need to have a conversation, a proper conversation. You can’t just keep...keep doing that...that thing where you just try and hug me so that I’ll forget about the problem at hand. Look at you! You can’t keep doing this to yourself.” S/O cried out, staring at him in disbelief.
Barok faltered in his movements for a moment, his arms falling to his side as S/O pulled away from him. Again. All S/O seemed to ever do was just pull away from him, every time he tried to bring them back to him, they resisted.
Even now, despite them being the one to come to him, they still continued to pull further and further away.
“You aren’t going to be leaving again, are you?” Barok questioned, his voice low as he tilted his head to stare at S/O. S/O looked back at him nervously, not quite knowing how to answer.
“Well...I’ll have to leave soon, I have some chores that I need to get done before the end of the day. I mostly just wanted to check up on you, like I said before, a lot of people are worried about you and I don’t want us ending our relationship to hold you back from meeting somebody else.” S/O explained, at this point they were just praying that Barok would listen and at least try to take their words into account.
“Why must you do this to me, Angel..? I can’t do this without you! Can we not forget about this...this silly little tiff and move on. I’ve let you have the time away that you needed, I’ve given you space and I don’t know what else I can do. We belong together, you are the only person for me and I know that I’m the only person who can look after you, who can protect you.” Barok lamented, shaking his arms in frustration as he took another step towards them.
S/O recoiled at Barok’s words, horrified at just how blatantly unaware he was of his situation and the events that led to them ending their courting relationship, they were disgusted with the lack of any form of understanding and reminded them of exactly why they had left him in the first place
“I can’t believe you, Barok. I can’t help you if you aren’t willing to work with me here. You can’t let this one setback affect the rest of your life like this! I-” “You? You, what? S/O, I love you. I love you so much, so much more than I’ve ever loved anybody before and I love you above anything else and yet you insist on leaving me. Just stay! We can work everything out.” Barok begged, grabbing onto S/O’s shoulders and shaking them gently. S/O’s eyes widened in shock at the motion before they jarred their shoulder backwards and sprinted towards the door, flinging it open before standing in the doorway.
“I can’t help you while you insist on deluding yourself like this, just leave me alone Barok. I don’t want any part of this. Get it into your head, we ended our courtship! We aren’t together anymore, I am single and so are you so just stop it, stop trying to tell me to get over myself because this isn’t healthy” They spat, before turning and walking away, not looking back once.
In the shadows of his doorway, Barok stood in silence. Staring out at where S/O once stood, barely focusing on their movements as they stormed away. He briefly looked over his shoulder to make eye contact with his butler.
“Could you set up the telephone? I have a call to make.”
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amani-outrider · 3 years
Text
I’ll probably post this to ao3 at some point
basically just a part 1 to what may be multichapter Adrestes/Venthyr Maw Walker thing :V
“Adrestes.” 
The Maw Walker approaches, decked out in gear that shows their loyalty to Revendreth and the Venthyr- a black and red ink smear against the dazzlingly light and pristine Bastion. 
How much it had bothered him at first- the Maw Walker should have chosen Bastion in the first place and the flaunting of their allegiance to another realm felt like an affront- but now, after attending court he understands better. And even if their devotion lies in Revendreth, they still often come to Bastion’s aid as well.
“Ah, my friend!” His face breaks into a small smile before he can ground himself. It’s unseemly of him to be so excited, especially when aspirants are around. He clears his throat, remembers the teachings- his duty to the Archon- and reigns his expression in, his arms resting stiffly at his sides. “Is it time for another Court?” Despite himself, a little bit of hopefulness creeps into his voice.
“Not yet. I, uh, had other reasons for this visit,” the Maw Walker, usually so confident in the way they carry themself, shifts on their feet.
“If you require help you need but ask.” He says it and means it, perhaps with too much gravity because the Maw Walker laughs something small and breathy.
“No, nothing so serious,” they wave their hand as if to fan away his misplaced concerns. “No, I was wondering if you’d like to hang out sometime?” 
‘Hang out?’ He’s heard other mortals say it in passing but he’s never cared to put the effort into learning what it meant.
“Well-”
“I know you’re probably busy being the will of the Archon and all! But I thought it’d be nice to spend time together outside of the Court and such and-” The Maw Walker talks very fast, slurring sentences together in a rush of breath that has Adrestes concerned for their well-being.
So he kneels, bringing them closer to eye level with him, and puts a firm hand on their shoulder.
Their mouth hangs slack, silenced mid-word.
“How would you like to ‘hang out’?” The phrase sits strangely on his tongue, like an entirely new language. (It kind of is, he supposes. The mortals are always saying such strange things, he can barely understand half of it.)
“Ah, well…” they trail off like they hadn’t expected to get that far to begin with. “I thought we could go to your favorite spot and talk?”
“Like we are now? This is my favorite spot, after all.” Hero’s Rest gave him such a good view of all of Bastion, with Elysian Hold hovering within sight to remind him of his duty to the Archon and the realm.
The Maw Walker seems to deflate.
“No, I mean like... “ they glance around at the nearby aspirants and the stewards milling about their duties. “Somewhere special, without so many people around?”
"All of Bastion is special." It's true and he believes that fully but as soon as the words leave his mouth he knows it's not what the Maw Walker wanted to hear. He thinks for a moment. All of Bastion is familiar to him as if it were an extension of himself, but he tries to recall a spot with significance to him. Elysian Hold and the Spires come to mind instantly, of course, but the Maw Walker with their Venthyr loyalty wouldn’t be allowed in there to begin with. “But, perhaps... you should choose?”
----
The Maw Walker leads them to a secluded spot at one of the far corners of Bastion, away from any foresworn conflicts happening. It’s calm and tranquil, like the realm used to be before the drought and before Devos’ rebellion. And it’s somewhere Adrestes hasn’t been in ages. Apparently, they found it searching for crystals of some sort.
They sit on the grass and Adrestes follows slowly after, shifting his wings and arranging his armor so it wouldn’t dig into him or sit awkwardly.
It’s still strange for him to be anywhere away from his duties. It’s easier when they’re a realm away when attending the Court- the immediate concerns and turmoil out of sight, but in Bastion itself, it feels especially unsettling. Wrong, somehow. 
“What did you wish to speak about?” He asks them after a moment of silence.
The Maw Walker stares out towards the vast expanse of the Shadowlands before them, where thousands of other realms exist just out of reach.
“I’m not sure,” they say quietly. “I realized we’re friends, but I barely know anything about you.” Their finger twirls idly around a strand of grass, still staring forward.
“I am the Archon’s will, what more would you wish to know?” There’s not much more to tell about himself.
“I would like to find out more,” they smile, eyes finally shifting towards him. “Eventually. I know what you like at the Ember Court, but I’m so busy we usually don’t get to talk much.”
The usual mortal curiosity. As much as Adrestes enjoys their outing and invitation-both to the Court and whatever this is- he can’t help but feel like they will only find disappointment when they try to delve deeper into him. There’s little more to himself than his duty and devotion, something that the mortals fail to comprehend and something aspirants struggle with on their path to ascension.
Adrestes shifts, turning his body to face the Maw Walker more fully. 
“I should remind you, Maw Walker, that we Kyrian are much different than the Venthyr and you mortals.”
“I know,” they lay back onto the grass, staring up at the anima streams shifting lazily through the air above. Not long ago they were but thin strands, like spider silk or withered veins as the drought choked the realm, but now they flourished again under the Maw Walker’s efforts. “But I believe we’re more similar than you think.”
He’s not quite sure he believes them, but the Maw Walker has proven him wrong about things in the past. Much like with the Ember Court.
“Anyways, you don’t have to stay if you don’t want, we can talk more another time. Just thought it would be a nice break.” They roll onto their stomach, folding their arms under their head, closing their eyes.
They’re both silent, the rustling of the grass and the distant growl of a larion. Somewhere a vesper rings out, a simple clear tone.
Something from his past reaches out from millennia ago, faded and frayed beyond recognition, but it resonates with the moment. Familiar and comforting.
“I will stay,” he says eventually. 
The Maw Walker says nothing, but smiles.
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kkoumiii · 3 years
Note
Can you please do a personality reading on Jungwon? Thank you <333
Hellooooo!! So many of you asked me to do a reading on this cute boy, you've been patient!! Let's get right into it 🌟
/!\ Friendly reminder that my readings are not to take at face value, I do not mean any harm to this idol, it’s only for entertainment purpose. /!\
✧ 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧 ➵ 𝑃𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑜𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦 ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-
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✾ ᵗᵉᵃᶜʰᵉʳ (ˡⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), ʷᵃᵗᵉʳ ᵉˡᵉᵐᵉⁿᵗ, ᵏⁿⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵒᶠ ʷᵃⁿᵈˢ
⇝ I think Jungwon is someone generous and attentive to his peers’ feelings and needs, he will help them if he can. He won’t hesitate to help those in need and he doesn’t do it to get something at the end, his actions come from pure intentions. Every lesson he learns from his experiences makes him grow and mature, and he uses them to guide others. At such a young age, he still has many things to live and he’s a bit reckless at times. Hopefully, this side is back up by his maturity. He knows when it’s time to have fun and when you have to assume your responsibilities. I think that for now, he isn’t the type to rush in, he takes time to reflect and he tries to follow his gut. However, there might be a time where he would precipitate things and it’s during these moments that he learnt the most, even if it wasn’t always in the best way. It’s just that he’s so enthusiastic and determined that he can’t help but give his all. He’s open to new opportunities if they can teach him something new. He may appear a bit authoritative from time to time because he wants to take the lead and guide others. Based on the combination of all the cards of this reading, I think he is unlikely to provide an emotional support, he would rather motivate his team and help them in a tangible way.
✾ ᵐᵉˢˢⁱᵃʰ (ˡⁱᵍʰᵗ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), ᵃʳⁱᵉˢ, ᵃᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ˢʷᵒʳᵈˢ
⇝ He needs to be stimulated physically and mentally, new experiences are what make him feel alive in a sense. I don’t think he’s easily intimidated, he won’t get flustered when there’s an obstacle. He’s brave and will make everything in his power to become even stronger and show what he’s capable of. He’s still at a point of his life where he feels like he has to prove his worth to others and seek their validation. That’s why he might put a mask on and act tougher and more confident than he actually is. In reality, he might often put more pressure on himself that others do. Yet this boy feels everything intensely and he’s sometimes torn between what he wants to do and what is expected from him, and it’s probably one of his biggest restrictions. In a sense, there’s always an opposition between him and others. He tends to apprehend what people might think of him and act upon it whereas his expectations aren’t necessarily the truth. It’s perhaps why he’s a bit reckless from time to time, because he doesn’t want to confront directly what others have to say about him. He assumes his responsibilities and sometimes even the others' ones because he stands up for his loved ones to the point where he will put himself into troubles, even though he can’t stand unfairness. But it doesn’t really matter to him as long as everything’s fine for others. Jungwon is definitely someone ambitious, he has a lot of willpower and wants to try out many things. He can’t stand remaining stagnant, he constantly wants to progress and doesn’t settle for less. He always wants to improve his skills.
✾ ᵈᵃᵐˢᵉˡ (ˢʰᵃᵈᵒʷ ᵃᵗᵗʳⁱᵇᵘᵗᵉ), 6ᵗʰ ʰᵒᵘˢᵉ, 10 ᵒᶠ ᵖᵉⁿᵗᵃᶜˡᵉˢ ʳˣ
⇝ He might be in an emotional dependency when it comes to his relatives. His family’s opinion matters a lot to him and that’s maybe why he’s always there for them, he wants to be indispensable for them. He doesn’t want his loved ones to feel like is giving up on them. There’s a side of him that doesn’t feel accomplished if he feels like he hasn’t been helpful or useful to someone. He feels loved by feeling the recognition of others, whether it’s by helping someone, making the job easier for them, or teaching them something… I don’t think he’s easily worn out but he might struggle with setting boundaries because he has a lot of energy and he uses it till he’s exhausted, without knowing when it’s time to stop. He still has to learn to set his limits. He also has to learn what is doing him good or bad. He might have been educated in a way that he knows that it’s good and important to follow your ambitions, but he has to know when it’s time to take a step back and be humble. He thinks that others’ needs are a priority compared to his own.
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Here is a smushy ball 🐣 Being a leader at such a young age is a heavy duty... And yet, he's already really dependable. Can't wait to see his growth! 💛
Bye 🍋
- kkօմตííí ❁
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rosethornewrites · 3 years
Text
Fics I read this week!
I started this right after posting the last one, so I’ll hopefully keep it up. A lot of the multichapter fics are ones I subscribed to that finished. A lot of the one-shots are under 5k words, with some being 100-word ficlets.
Finished:
Not Rated:
Wei Changze's weird day, by Weiyingbestboy
Wei Changze was minding his own business, when four potential time travellers dropped out of the sky. Literally.
Serenity Cave, by Anonymous
The travel home had been mostly silent. Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian competing for who could say the least amount of words.
Then, as they’d been walking along the mountain path, just a little past the gates of Cloud Recesses, a hole suddenly opened up in the ground beneath them and they fell into a small rock cave. Then the hole shrunk until it was barely big enough to poke a sword through. Just enough of a gap that they had a bit of light and wouldn’t suffocate, but definitely too small to escape through.
The earth had swallowed them.
In the middle of an argument, Lan Zhan and Wei Wuxian get trapped in a cave.
In Which Lan Xichen Returns to the World, by AshurbanipalJones
Lan Xichen ends his isolation after the death of Jin Guangyao.
In Which Lan Qiren Requests an Audience, by AshurbanipalJones
Lan Qiren wants to discuss Important Matters with his nephew. His nephew is kinda not having it.
Mercy Meet Vengeance, by ShanaStoryteller (7th in a series)
The first time Wen Qing meets Wei Wuxian, she has a white sash around her waist.
Rated E:
Thirty-three Lashes, by Winglesss (20 chapters)
Yiling Laozu is dead. He's been dead for over a thousand years. For over a thousand years Lan Wangji has been wandering the world alone, helping where he's needed.
It's when he meets a mysterious cultivator and a strange curse starts to torment his body that the past and the present start to mingle, igniting emotions Lan Wangji almost forgot he was able to feel.
curiosity is the beginning, by everyearning (noctiphany)
He's just curious. Wangi's brother always said he had an insatiable thirst for knowledge. He also said it was going to get him in trouble one day.
Rated M:
devil from heaven, by incendir (3 chapters)
He would like to think that he knows what Lan Wangji could enjoy, if he’d let himself do so.
(or, wei wuxian's road to discovering lan wangji's yiling patriarch kink)
in this lifetime, by hauntedotamatone
Lan Wangji must reach him. There is still time. All he has to do is reach him. They’ll take A-Yuan and whoever remains and they’ll go as far and fast as they can. The world is vast, there must be a place for them somewhere, and if there is not, then he will carve one out from nothing if that is what it will take.
“Wei Ying!” he calls out to him over the roar of the flames and the familiar and terrible sounds of battle. At first, he thinks that Wei Ying is ignoring him or otherwise does not hear him. Then, his fingers still over his flute. He looks up with those empty eyes, unseeing. There is no hatred in them, but there is no affection or recognition either. There is nothing at all.
Lan Wangji has a terrible nightmare for the first time in years. For the first time in years, he does not wake up alone.
We Are Family, by Duochanfan (13 chapters)
Jiang Yanli heard the words spewing from Jin Zixun's mouth and said enough. After putting the man in his place she leaves the Hunt with her brother and Lan Wangji. The three come across Wen Qing, and with that simple meeting, they change what could have happened to something else entirely.
until it's time to see the light, I'll make my own with you each night, by backbones
His husband would never go back to sleep if he sensed something was wrong, and he always did. He knew him better than he knew himself, sometimes, and maybe that was why that feeling was so foreign it was horrifying. He wanted to keep that part of himself close, a well-kept secret, and now, deep down, he knew it was too late for that.
Or: After having a nightmare in a deep sleep, Wei Wuxian has a surprise visit from an old childhood habit.
Rated T:
Wei Wuxian Discovers Bisexuality, by arcaladiwoompa
AU where WWX decides he quite enjoys being passionately kissed against a tree by an unknown assailant and acts on it instead of just sitting there going herp derp I wonder who this very strong cultivator could possibly be.
Rescue, by WithBroomBefore (6 chapters)
Post-Sunshot fix-it AU featuring Jiang siblings taking care of each other, among other things.
Over the Rotted Bridge, by vailkagami (41 chapters)
Lan Wangji saves the Wen remants from execution but is killed in the process. The Yiling Patriarch loses himself in grief and rage and the determination to bring him back no matter what.
The world is not on his side in this. It is not on either of their sides when he succeeds. But The World is not all of its people, and some things can always be salvaged from the ruins.
Across, by vailkagami
An epilogue to the story "Over the Rotted Bridge", set in the far future. Cannot stand alone.
Centuries after the fall of the cultivation world, Wei Wuxian and Wangji return to the burial mounds for the last time.
Completion, by youjezebel
Lan Wangji misses raising A-Yuan. Wei Wuxian wants to be a father. In the end, everything works out perfectly.
Second Nephew, by vividneonmanias
"You need to stop talking to Wàngjī," Lan Xīchén told him, in the uncannily stern tones of a Sect Leader and not a nephew; "and preferably stop talking about him, if you cannot control yourself."
In the years following Wèi Wúxiàn's death, Lán Qǐrén learns to hold his tongue. But he still wants to know his second nephew. Some things need to be said; some questions need to be asked.
oceans, drowned in starfire, by stiltonbasket (10 chapters)
Lan Wangji breathes.
There is a tattered red ribbon trailing through the water beside him, and below him, a crooning, echoing song that clears his mind and stops him from struggling against the waves.
Lan Wangji breathes, and sleeps, and wakes again.
When he opens his eyes on the beach to find Huan-ge and Shufu crying over his body, he hears a lifeguard say that he was underwater for almost half an hour. ___
Tired of life in the business world, Lan Wangji returns to his mother’s old house to pursue a career as a novelist and search for the mysterious fisherman who rescued him after he nearly drowned on a whale-watching trip twenty years ago.
He wasn’t expecting much more than a quiet refuge to serve as inspiration for his work, and restore his spirits after half a lifetime spent in the city. But when a lost merbaby washes up on the beach in Caiyi, Lan Wangji realizes that his childhood savior might be closer than he thinks.
adding shadows to the walls of the cave, by Fleetling
It didn’t take Wei Wuxian long to see what he was pointing at, and as soon as he did, the smaller man turned back to face their juniors. “Cave!” he shouted across the thunder of the raindrops hitting the muddy path. “Hanguang-Jun found us a cave! We’ll stop to dry off, and head out again once the rain has stopped!” Beside him, Lan Wangji inclined his head in silent agreement. The bickering of the juniors cut out as they focused on making it the remaining short distance on the slippery ground.
They all huddled into the entrance of the cave, taking refuge from the rain, but waiting for directions before heading in.
Ouyang Zizhen ran his hand over the wall, feeling slight bumps and indents below his fingers. He brushed off the dirt, reading the characters revealed. “The lovers’ cave,” he read, shaking his head with a smile. Probably a local pair who came here occasionally. It was a bit romantic, when one thought of it. It also probably meant that the cave was safe - no lovers would hide away in a cave that contained resentful energy or other dangers.
Say It Until I Hear You, by DrowningByDegrees
Lan Zhan does not say what has him rattled, but neither does he retreat. He concedes by fractions, an embrace he does not shake off, a shaky sigh when his forehead comes to rest against Wei Wuxian’s collarbone, a wordless surrender when Wei Wuxian gathers him closer. Wei Wuxian doesn’t know precisely which ones, but there are ghosts in bed with them tonight, sorrow and regret and all the might have beens they cast aside so long ago.
Dull Comforts, by Just_Another_Mystery
Five times Làn Sīzhuī pondered the existence of a parent he does not remember having.
Downpour, by milesofheart
The way Wei Ying had looked at him…warily, expecting a fight, steeling himself for Lan Wangji to denounce him. Waiting for the worst from Lan Wangji.
Lan Wangji’s heart cracked down the middle and his whole body shook as he wept now in the rain, the mud of Qiongqi Path seeping into his once-pristine robes.
on the importance of home (and all it implies), by nixtothou
The Burial Mounds are empty.
Wei Wuxian had expected this, yet for some reason it still hurt to see.
The Best Place to Study, by adrian_kres
Lan Zhan decides to study in the law library this time. He leaves with a boyfriend.
Rated G:
cadillac converter, by mdzsed
lan zhan's car starts making weird noises so he takes it to get it repaired. the new mechanic does not look like he knows what he's doing. good thing lan zhan is no fool.
or: lan zhan makes a complete idiot out of himself but hey, it scored him a date with a handsome mechanic so it's all good.
a small spark, by sebfish
It had started, as many things did, because Wen Qing was worried, and Wei Wuxian had learned early on that she wouldn’t budge until she’d gotten her way.
Winter in Cloud Recesses, by Sarehz
Winter in Cloud Recesses was cold. Really cold. It was a chill that penetrated Wei Wuxian's bones and reminded him of that period after his parents died when he shivered alone in the streets.
His Face, by AshayaTReldai
Among Su She's possessions was found a qiankun pouch containing a sheaf of sketches of Hanguang Jun, inspiring a lifetime's exchange between Wei Wuxian and his husband Lan Wangji, studies of his face.
anger, by theninjacat
Beloved Old Lines, by Preludian_Staves
A quiet Wuxian was a creature Qiren had learned to never trust in mixed company.
I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight, by Sarehz
Wei Wuxian was sitting on the roof. Again. It had become his go to place recently when he had to attend these sort of boring meetings where all the Sect Leader's met up and congratulated each other on defeating Wen Ruohan and blah blah blah.
Unexpected, by WithBroomBefore
It is not, from Lan Wangji’s perspective, an unpleasant kiss. He has no particular objection to kissing people, though admittedly he has only ever done so as a prelude to activities that involve various other bits of the body. And it is Wei Wuxian; nothing involving Wei Wuxian is awful. The kiss is...fine.
Modern AU, just some aroace/aro queerplatonic roommates finding the words.
An Accidental Clothes Thief, by Preludian_Staves
He should have probably realized what he'd accidentally done before starting work on a new talisman.
Groupie, by Speechless_since_1998
Being the manager of a band was hard work, but someone had to do it. And Lan Xichen was the only one able to keep members of his brother's band in line.
A Silver Thread, by DizziDreams
Lan Wangji is brushing Wei Ying's Hair before bed, when he sees it, glinting like a fish through the dark glassy waters of a deep pool:
A single, silver hair.
The sky is overcast and I'm sorry, by hamlets_ghost (8th part of a series)
Wangji's brother is gone once again.
A-niang explains.
Follow the sound of pipe, follow this song, by fairyprincess2
He took the last steps needed to reach the opening and there he was, black and red clothes flying with the wind, hair bound up in a ponytail with a red hair band. He was standing with his back facing Lan Wangji but it was him, he knew it was.
(In)Hindsight, it's obvious, by Potatoes_Radishes 
Lan Qiren woke up undisturbed, calm and refreshed, that was enough for him to immediately know something was odd, mainly due to the lack of noises during the night that made him suspect it, he grumbled away his frustrations regarding what he assumed would have been another prank as he got up to get dressed.
When he left the bathroom and moved outside, a very different set of robes awaited him, one he hadn’t worn in years. He finally took a notice of his surrounding, the room was different resembling the one from before their rebuilding, not caring about his state of undress as he open the door almost on the verge of panic, the first thing that rang out in the morning was a loud yell of “WEI WUXIAN!!!”
Unfinished:
Rated E:
taking over you, by sassybluee (3rd in a series)
Before, he’d once fantasized about giving in—shutting Wei Ying up with his lips, stilling his limbs with his own forehead ribbon. He imagined himself making demands. And then Wei Ying went missing. Wei Ying was presumed dead. And Wei Ying returned from the Burial Mounds. By then, Lan Wangji’s desires had long since cooled, and all that remained was longing. Longing to ease Wei Ying’s suffering. Longing to help him know he was not as alone as he seemed to feel. He would have gladly given him everything back then, if he knew how to ask for it. Would have surrendered his body to show him he cared.
And now?
_____
Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian explore married life, and all that entails.
Rated M:
Keep Holding On, by abCEE
As they reached an inn and Wei Wuxian got them a room with three beds, the world seemed to have frozen for Jiang Yanli when her brother suddenly fainted and Jiang Wanyin was just fast enough to catch him before his body could hit the floor.
"A-Xian!"
"Wei Wuxian!"
In which after the Lotus Pier Massacre: Wei Wuxian was greatly injured by Zidian, Jiang Yanli left the inn to buy the medicines and food, and Jiang Wanyin distracted the Wens.
(With a bonus of Wei Wuxian knowing the title of the song and more things ensued inside the Xuanwu Cave that may or may have not involved Lan Wangji's forehead ribbon)
Canon diverged from there.
Sacrifices Made with Blood, by NocturnalFriend
Lan Wangji knew it was too late, there was too much blood on Wei Ying's hands already. Still, if he asked his brother for help, surely. There was a way to rescue the man who held his heart?
Or: Trust is not easily given and all to easily shattered. Lan Wangji learns this in the worst way, when Lan Xichen gives into the demands of the cultivation world. Although nobody could have predicted the whims of fate, giving them another chance at righting things.
lan jingyi vs. the laws of time itself, by agloeian (2nd in a series)
His kick has dislodged some stray fragments of Guanyin Temple's destroyed ceiling beams. Jingyi stares at them as he kneads his toes through his boot. They’re as red as the blood that stains the floor beneath him, sharp and splintering. Wind whistles through the wood and stone, though there’s a flickering too - the sound of paper fluttering in the breeze.
A talisman written in blood.
---
Lan Jingyi finds a way home.
Dream a little dream of me, by Moominmammashandbag
Lan WangJi braced himself.
“Wei Ying.” he said.
“You are not dreaming. This is real. You have been rescued.”
“The kissing bit comes first!” said Wei Wuxian impatiently.
“But…I cannot kiss you if you think you are dreaming!"
“I don’t see the logic in that.” said Wei Wuxian. “I obviously want you to kiss me or I wouldn’t be dreaming about it!
Rated T:
Love Song In Reverse, by timetoboldlygo
Wei Wuxian gasps back into life without a single memory left. His friends, his siblings, his home — all lost to the fog in his head, nothing more than a mystery slipping through his fingers. What else was there to do but carry himself around in bits and parts, trying to become whole, a letter waiting to be written? He is – he is Mo Xuanyu, isn’t he? In this body, with these people. This family. He has to be Mo Xuanyu, he didn’t know anything else, even if the name sounded wrong. That was all he had.
Well, that and Hanguang-jun.
Lan Wangji, for his part, has had his taste of love and lost it. In all his grieving and searching, he didn’t expect to find another.
-
Wei Wuxian gets resurrected, loses his memories, and falls in love.
Here We Go Again, by Alliandra
He looked over to where the swordswoman was still fighting, but her focus seemed entirely locked onto that fight so it was unlikely that she could have had anything to do with the energy drain. He was still wracking his brain for something else to do to assist, so this thing didn’t kill them both, but now he was feeling weak, dizzy and currently not far from helpless.
~~~~~~~~~~
It has been several months since the events at the Guanyin temple and Wei Wuxian is wandering around on his own. After he helps a stranger kill a very dangerous beast he uncovers what seems to be a conspiracy aimed at ending his life. He heads back to Cloud Recesses with his new companion in tow, looking to get Lan Wanji's help in working out what is involved.
Meanwhile, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling made a surprising discovery under Koi Tower that may well be linked to the threat against Wei Wuxian's life.
Can they all work together to find out what is going on and put a stop to it, before something disastrous occurs?
A Teacher’s Oath, by MaelStromm
Deep down, only one thing really matters.
It is not being a good Lan, despite what the entire cultivation world may think, nor is it "sucking the fun out of life" as some disciple had once said.
More than anything, Lan Qiren is a good teacher.
Despite too many to count prejudices and the boy's chaotic behavior, he'll burn his ribbon before he lets this genius be wasted.
Or :
An AU where LQR gets along with WWX and somehow ends up having to deal with far too much drama.
I've Heard of Second Chances, but This Is Ridiculous, by velvet_green
One of Wei Wuxian’s experimental talisman arrays sends himself, his husband and his brother to that mythical land of long ago – the Gusu Lan lectures of their youth.
Wei Wuxian is amused. Lan Wangji is silent. Jiang Cheng is angry.
And their younger versions are mostly just very, very confused.
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selkiewife · 3 years
Note
Since I was re-reading it today (!) could I ask for the commentary meme:
"He was murmuring something again, she turned sharply and took him in. He slept curled in on himself, like a dog. Even unconscious he tried to take up as little space as possible. “Robb…. Robb…” his breath became sporadic, rapid, distressed. “Robb….!”
These were the cruelest dreams. The dreams of the eldest Stark, The Young Wolf. Robb. She knew his name now. She had heard it enough times. Robb Stark. She hated him. Hated all the Starks. They had taken her brother and twisted him beyond recognition.
He began shouting Robb’s name. She crept back into bed and put her arms around him. Theon clung to her, his eyes staring through her.
“It’s alright… Theon. It’s alright. It was another nightmare. You’re fine.”
Theon turned those searing eyes on her and saw her for the first time. His eyes filled with humiliated tears and he bent his head.
“I’m sorry Asha… Robb… He’s gone…” A strangled sob escaped him.
Asha pulled him down onto the pillows and pulled the furs up around them as he continued to mumble his apologies- for keeping her up, for being so much trouble… Asha hated this part the most of all but she stroked his hair softly and held him until he began to drift back to sleep. She thought he was sleeping when he murmured brokenly the constant refrain, “I should have died with him. Where was I? I should have been with him.”
Asha felt angry tears forming in her eyes as she whispered fiercely into the darkness,
“No. You shouldn’t have been with him. You should never have been with him. You should have been with me.”"
@alleyskywalker asked about it's just a shadow you're seeing that he's chasing from this meme:
Thank you so much for sending this ask in! I was really so happy to see that you had commented on this fic because I wrote it so long ago!
The rest is under a cut since it got long:
This was my very first Asha POV fic. I believe that I had seen as much of the show that had aired up to that point (Season 6) and I had read both Theon and Asha’s POV chapters but I had not read the entire series yet. I read the entire series in order after finishing Asha’s chapters. So this was my first book inspired fic. And I wanted to explore the idea that caring for Theon reminded her of Alannys.
I was still relatively new to the world of fanfic and fandom. But I’d found the hurt/comfort fics first and decided that was very much how I wanted to spend all my time lol. So it seemed natural for me to fantasize about Asha comforting Theon. I am actually not sure if I had read Theon’s Winds sample chapter by this point, so I guess I just skipped ahead with this future fic and was hoping they were “somewhere safe and recovering in the north” lol.
I’m really not sure what I was doing with the line, The Young Wolf. Robb. She knew his name now. She had heard it enough times. I think it was because I had noticed that Asha never refers to Robb by name in the books but instead always refers to him as “The Young Wolf." I think I was trying to show that she is now gaining a better understanding of who he was as a person. Whereas before, she only knew Robb from his warrior reputation. Now she knows his first name and knows how important he was to Theon. BUT this line kind of makes me cringe now, because even though she never refers to him as “Robb” in the books that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have known his name. lol.
When she starts talking about her hatred for the Starks, I was writing what I think she would have actually thought, but I was also responding to people in the fandom who constantly said things like “Theon was better off with the Starks.” Because that’s just not true. Yeah, Balon objectively sucked but, there was still Asha. There was still Alannys who loved him so much that her health drastically declined when he was taken away. There was still Dagmer and Rodrik the Reader.
I also really wanted to explore what it was like for Asha when the north took Theon hostage. How she suddenly found herself alone, the only child left between two parents struggling with their grief in very different ways. It must have felt almost as if Asha lost her whole family the night that Ned and Robert crushed them. She lost her two older brothers, her little brother, and her mother (because of how grief stricken she was) all at once.
And now she sees her brother who is so guilt ridden for betraying Robb, looking and acting so much like Alannys and she thinks about how her family would have been whole had it not been for Robert Baratheon and the Starks. I mean Balon is to blame too- but I just wanted to let her be openly critical of the Starks without any mitigation. 
Because Asha can be very hard on Theon and she also condemned his actions in Winterfell, I think readers sometimes get the wrong impression that Asha would be on the Starks’ side when it comes to Theon betraying the Starks. But, I think that’s a definite nah. Asha is definitely a character that need not wear Stark goggles since they objectively caused so much heartache to her family. And yeah, I know it’s nuanced and it’s not like the Starks loved having to hold a child hostage bla bla bla, but just let me have this lmao. Also there is also the feeling like, "I can talk shit about my lil bro, but no one else can."
The last line was actually the first one that came to me and was the reason I wrote this fic: “No. You shouldn’t have been with him. You should never have been with him. You should have been with me.” Theon thinks he should have died with Robb, but Asha feels like he shouldn’t have been put in that position in the first place. It also echoes back to the fact that when Alannys' mental and physical health declined so badly after her sons were taken from her, there had to be a part of Asha that was like, “Stop looking for them, look at me! I’m still here!” And when she sees that Theon is mourning “his brother” Robb, part of her is like, “I’m your true sister. And you should have always been with me.” I think that when she first met Theon again she saw him as a threat to everything she had worked for her whole life. But now, after all they have been through in the books, she has reverted to the way they probably were as children- with her being protective (and even possessive maybe?) with him. Like, "I would have been a better sibling to you than these damn Starks."
Anyway, I hope that was interesting and thanks again for the ask and for your kind comments on the fic as well! 🐙❤️
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reyeslonestar · 3 years
Note
Question what are some things you wanna see in season 3 of lone star? Character development, plots, anything
I want to see Tonya Kong write every episode. that's all. thanks for asking!
-
sadfkja I joke, I do have other ideas, but that is definitely high on my wish list! i'm gonna go through by character and talk about what I'd like to see for them, so this is gonna get quite long whoops...
the main thing that I'd like to see overall, though, would be evidence of an overarching season plan or arc - it doesnt necessarily have to be a plot that stretches through all the episodes or anything major, but I'd love them to have plotted out the season before they start. from watching this season and then reading interviews after the finale, they dont appear to plan many things from the start and end up throwing in ideas as they go along. if they plan it from the start they can foresee how theyre going to affect character development more, and they can have a bit more balance in the types of episodes they have, so that the season is less insane and more naturally ebb-and-flow with a few light episodes to break up the drama.
okay, onto the characters! just going to do this in billing order for simplicity's sake. customary reminder that these are just my own opinions and thoughts, and this is more of a wish list than a realistic expectation.
if you want to search for a specific character, ctrl F for one of these terms including the dash at the start:
-Owen
-Tommy
-TK
-Grace
-Judd
-Marjan
-Paul
-Carlos
-Mateo
-Nancy
press “j” to skip the whole post.
-Owen
okay so I'd love to see them actually develop his character. Owen has been given a lot of backstory with lots to play with development-wise, but to me it feels like the show never goes anywhere with it. he's got a lot going on what with 9/11, feeling responsible for the fates of his fellow firefighters, the codependence of his relationships etc. I'd like to see him go to therapy and see him grow some self awareness and seek to manage himself better, rather than all his screentime devoted to him being a hero when other characters have the situation handled. it would really show him as a good leader if he drew on the skills that his team has and refer to them for advice/ideas. realistically he is the main character, so I'd like them to develop him like one.
also, I kind of love the chief role for him? I think it would suit him really well. but it would drag him away from the 126 and split up the dynamics too much so it would make for bad tv and I wouldnt actually want to see that. good for his character though.
-Tommy
I love Tommy :) just wanted to say that.
so obviously Tommy's got a lot of grief to handle next season, and I don't want them to shy away from that. I want it acknowledged and processed. (I'd also like a little bit of seeing the twins' grief too, because they're also suffering a massive loss). maybe something with Judd helping Tommy learn to manage her grief with his own experience of losing the original 126, encourage her to go to therapy, plus Tommy, Grace and Judd all feeling the loss of Charles together. after all, Grace and Judd were his friends and they will be grieving too.
I'd also kind of like to see Tommy have something outside being a working mother. obviously we're going to need to deal with that a lot especially now that Charles is gone, but I feel like she's been assigned the Character TraitTM of being the working mum and I'd like to see them give her a hobby or something. idk. and give her a night off with Grace or something. give her something just for her.
-TK
okay so I think theres a fair likelihood that theyre going to return to looking at TK's addiction next season which im not averse to. I think him struggling with his sobriety would be worthwhile to see for his character and to show that its not a straightforward path, plus it makes sense with all the insane stuff they've thrown at them in s2. however, Id like to see it in the context of his friends and family rallying around to help and support him and show him that he's got people to rely on, and that he's allowed to rely on them, plus the support of his AA meetings and therapy. I also need them to lay the groundwork for him struggling, so putting in signs of him deteriorating so the situation makes sense. this storyline doesn't need surprises to be interesting or good, and frankly it shouldn't have any.
as for him and Carlos, I definitely want to see them househunting! I'd like to see the combination of househunting/Carlos with Tommy's kids/Grace and Judd having their baby have an impact on their perspectives regarding their future and spark that conversation (like, looking at houses with more rooms and thinking about kids, future, marriage etc). I think that maybe one of them, probably TK, or maybe both of them those boys have way too many parent issues having anxieties about being a dad could be an interesting way to add tension without being too drastic, and then that can be resolved in a way that reassures them of their relationship and reaffirms their strength as a couple. the talk about the future would also lay the groundwork towards a proposal at the end of s3.
-Grace
grace :) my love :)
I could watch episode after episode of Grace kicking ass and saving people over the phone. I'd love to see an episode set there? like, some kind of story within the call centre with all the handlers having to resolve that between them, but also tie in the first responders, so we see the fire team, the paramedics and Carlos all working but we only see the bits that Grace and the other call handlers hear, if that makes sense? also an actual Grace/Carlos team up where they are coming in from the different angles with different amounts of evidence and figuring out the best way to solve something together. plus I'd like to see her maybe get some recognition for being awesome at her job, maybe another handler coming to her for advice on how to solve something.
of course we've got the baby Ryder on the way, and I want that to go comfortably and smoothly for her. she deserves that. lots of wholesome excitement for her and Judd from the whole extended firefam, baby shower, gifts, the full works. pamper grace please.
-Judd
judd4captain2k22. please.
yeah I know its not gonna happen, but I loved judd stepping in as captain this season and I'd love to see that continued with him taking more leadership, and Owen deferring to him for advice/council in a work environment rather than personal life. maybe set up a long term idea about judd being a captain someday.
he's gonna be a dad :') so what are his anxieties about that? why were they putting it off before? was it related to his PTSD? he's got lots of people relying on him now, how does that make him feel? what if his kid loses him? id like to see him still using therapy as a tool to help himself deal with everything. lots of meaty questions to dig into there :D
-Marjan
I'd quite like to see more of her balancing her daredevil nature with the impact of that and realising how much danger she puts herself in sometimes. or on the flip side, maybe the team is dealing with a really dangerous situation and they utilise her fearlessness to save people. her relationship with social media could also come back? but bring in the development they gave her this season, and her Firefox presence is more serious, less flippant?
I think that theres now a space for her to explore her sexuality/romantic experience now that she hasn't got her engagement with Salim as a kind of failsafe. maybe she wants to put herself out there and date, but thats really daunting as shes never really had to do that before? personally I think this could tie in really well with a self discovery/exploration regarding her sexual orientation, but I doubt they’d go there with her, so thats just my headcanon.
-Paul
I want them to draw on Paul’s observational skills and perceptiveness more, especially on calls and in emergencies. I remember someone (sorry I cant remember who) pointed out that he would have been a great character to centre the arsonist plot around in terms of noticing the clues etc, so id love a storyline that revolves around him dealing with an emergency like that. I also really want a Carlos and Paul friendship so maybe them collaborating on a call to solve something, that’d be cool.
can we give Paul a girlfriend please. if im not complely insane, there was a reference to someone in like,, 2x04?? someone who put mayo in his sandwich? idk I havent checked (edit: it was aioli in his banh mi! thank you @meneatyoghurt), but if there is someone can we show him having a fun and loving relationship please. I dont need there to be any drama. just them having fun on a date or something.
-Carlos
so I know that some people are keen to see him in his police role more but I really don't need much of that. on calls with the 126 I'd like to see him be the officer in charge more, but I don't need police-exclusive storylines. I've talked about it here if you want to know why.
the only area that I'd like to see would be in the direction of reform/addressing the flaws of the system, and I think they can do that on a personal level for him, because he and Mitchell need a chat. if they'd gone with her decision in 2x08, he, Mitchell and the bank robber would all be dead, and I think thats gotta have some impact. also the fact that he was suspended for trying to preserve life. theres a lot they could work with there and maybe have him thinking about how he can do good and how he can effectively protect and serve. not to mention, the opportunity that would provide in terms of addressing his relationship with his dad and how he maybe sought approval by pursuing a police career?
also I’d like him to learn that he doesnt need to accept blame/preemptively put blame on himself and that he doesnt need to apologise when someone else hurt him. kind of want to send him to therapy. kind of want to send all the characters to therapy. but yeah, him learning that he can accept apologies and understand that he doesnt have to make people feel better for hurting him. hes allowed to be hurt and feel pained about it. and that can tie into his relationships with Mitchell, with TK and with his parents.
I think I mentioned most of the tarlos stuff in TK’s section, but I wouldn't mind at least one instance for them where we see it all from his perspective instead of TK’s.
finally ive mentioned above how i’d like a team up with Paul on a scene and both of them figuring it out together. I'd also like them having a friendship outside work, just the two of them, bonding over books and being relatively sane people compared to the rest of their friends.
-Mateo
Mateo is so sweet. I loved 2x14 and the recognition he got, more of that please! also theres still so much I want to know - one of the more consistent things they set up for him in s2 was his faith, so I want to know more about that. what's his relationship with religion and God? he's pretty isolated from his family so how does he feel about that? is his religion something that helps him feel connected to them? maybe the church helped him find a community when he first came to the states, before he got settled with the 126, and he finds reassurance in faith that God is looking after his family while he cant be there? I think maybe there's scope for a conversation between Marjan and Mateo about that, about that distance and caring for their families through faith and prayer.
also, if he's still with the horrible firehouse, I'd like to see the other firefighters being won round by his resilience and stepping up to look out for him, and someone backing him up against the captain. Mateo is used as the butt of the joke most of the time, but I'd also like to see a bit more acknowledgement of things like losing his house and the bullying hes going to get more of from this firehouse.
-Nancy
I think that her speech to Tommy in 2x14 was really telling, and I'd love to see them expand on that a bit more. first on the loss and fear of losing her friends and coworkers, but then also on her hopes and aspirations - she said she wants to be a paramedic captain so lets see her working to take her exams and qualifications, and showing initiative on scenes etc.
id like to see more of her being integrated into the 126 group. she and marjan turned up to the hangout together, so lets develop that relationship more. I would love it to be romantic but I'd also love to see that as a friendship. but also her forming bonds with others in the group as well as more of her and TK being a chaos duo. I love that they stole the ambulance, more of that insanity please!
-
I think thats it? if youre still reading, youre insane and I appreciate you a lot! honestly im open to all sorts of things in s3, this isnt a prediction or anything, its just stuff I think would be interesting based on where the characters are now. 
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Note
Normally I'd be too shy to send but heck it. May I have fluffy headcannons for Sabo, Thatch, Ace, and Marco of cuddles, kisses, and encouragement while trying to help their s/o study? Please and thank you queen uwu💖💖💖
I'm so sorry it took so long my dear😭!!! I hope you can forgive me and still enjoy what I came up with- despite the terribly long wait rip💔
The boys 'help' you with studying- headcanon
Sabo
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he actually suggests that you should study together- since Sabo always has some reports left to fill anyway, he thinks it's a brilliant idea to take care of your duties together.
spoiler: it isn't. He can't focus on his work when you're next to him. No way. His fingers are constantly wandering from the papers on his desk over to your hand or face
sometimes he also can't help himself and starts toying around with your hair and compliments you on how beautiful you look, and the work he was supposed to do is almost completely forgotten within minutes
some may say he's just so touchy because he wants to distract himself from the boring paperwork, but you and I know that he simply adores you too much to ignore you. It seems almost cruel to him to focus on his work while you're by his side! Obviously he needs to show you how much he loves having you around, even at the price of barely getting anything done himself
when he reached the point where he absolutely can't keep his hands to himself anymore, he'll just pull you into his lap and tells you to stay focussed while he's taking in your scent and the feeling of your skin
okay, as nice as this is, you're not really making any progress right now. Mh. Perhaps Sabo could try and help you with your studies first, and then you can keep him company while he's doing his paperwork...? Technically, you'd still be taking care of your duties together that way!
the Chief of Staff most likely has no clue on what you're studying, but that won't stop him from telling you how smart you are and how he believes that you'll rock whatever subject you're focussing on!
whenever you're finished with a portion and turn to the next page, he makes sure to reward you by pressing a soft kiss to your temple or neck while encouraging you to go on
if it helps your cause, Sabo might even suggest to take your book and ask you questions about the current topic, almost like a small pop-quiz. It always ends in disaster though since he knows barely anything about the stuff you're working with, and sometimes he even answers his own questions as a result
whenever that happens, you are bound to break out in laughter and correct him when he gets something wrong. The pop-quiz he envisioned might not work, but this is another good way to test your knowledge, wouldn't you agree? And of course you two also get to goof around together that way, which is a huge plus to him. Studying and being focussed is super important of course, but you also gotta take a break and have a good laugh with him from time to time!
Thatch
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he's such a devoted boyfriend that he actually helps you plan a studying schedule. Your sessions are usually in the evening or early afternoon, aka when he's not busy in the kitchen and can be with you while you're working on your stuff
now, Thatch is aware of the distracting presence he might have, so he tries to keep his interruptions to a minimum. As much as he'd love to be by your side and cheer you on 24/7, it probably won't be a good idea
instead he occasionally leaves to patrol the hallway to make sure that no one else tries to interrupt you. Especially Ace is forbidden from entering your room during study time- Thatch knows that the young pirate will just drag you away from your books and pull you into some dumb nonsense as always, and you can't have that
however Thatch is also unable to leave your side for long. He's slightly worried about all the work you have to take care of, and soon enough he's in your room and by your side again to make sure that you're okay
and- you probably guessed it- he also provides you with snacks and meals all throughout your study session. You need to eat and supply your brain with enough nutritions if you want to power through this!
if there is any topic in your textbooks that Thatch is even vaguely familiar with, he'll pull out a chair and sit down next to you to 'help' as good as he can. Even if it's not much. In his mind it might make you feel as if you're not alone with this
when it starts to get late and more cold, he's always sure to get you a blanket and some hot chocolate to keep you comfy. And- of course- he'd gladly reward you with some snuggles and kisses after your long studying session as well. You more than earned it!
in the end it's always him who pulls you away from your books and reminds you to get some rest. You can't argue with the cook on this- when he says it's time for bed, it's time for bed
during some nights, when you find it hard to fall asleep because your mind is still filled with all the knowledge you forced into it, Thatch comes up with a little game to play- instead of counting sheeps, you need to list something new you learned today and then he'll do the same. It usually ends with him rambling on and on about some new kitchen tool he found, which he keeps talking about right until he notices that his boring lecture has put you to sleep. Just as he planned...
Ace
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he's flunctuating between wanting to help you with your studies and wanting to pull you away from them so he can keep you all to himself
whenever you're sitting in your chair, hunched over your books, Ace will show up and hug you from behind, his eyes peeking over your shoulder to look at what you're studying, feigning interest
sometimes he'll read a few words and pretend to know what it's about, just so he can talk with you. But you're always so caught up in your studies that you have to push him aside; and although Ace sorta understands it, he's still a bit upset that he can't spend time with you as usual
in an attempt to get you to pay attention to him, he would often press small kisses to your cheek while his head rests on your shoulder and he continues to engulf you from behind
he definitely admires your determination and how you can stay focussed on boring stuff like this for so long. If it was him, he'd probably be dead asleep in just a few moments
talking of which... 15 minutes into your studies, the sound of Ace snoring will ripple through the air. And since his head is still lying on your shoulder and close to your ear, you get to hear it at full volume
after you shake him awake a bit, your boyfriend will try his hardest not to fall asleep again- because he's scared that you might send him away if he does- but this is a battle he just can't seem to win...
as he's desperately trying find something to distract himself, Ace eventually decides to grab one of your textbooks and take a look at what you're dealing with. But again, he's unable to make any sense of it and asks you how you can stay concentrated on weird stuff like this
perhaps you could enlighten him a bit and explain what your current subject is all about? There's no guarantee that he'll understand anything you're talking about, but Ace would rather listen to you talk about the stuff than try to read about it in some stupid book by himself
the young pirate is utterly fascinated by how much you know. Obviously he still has no clue why you have to learn all that stuff, but it sure is impressive! Compared to how little education he has, it's almost as if he's dating a genius!
such a smart and determined partner definitely deserves some recognition. Once you're done with your studies, Ace will pounce on you like a needy cat and show you just how proud he is by pulling you against him and peppering your face in greedy kisses as if there's no tomorrow
even though he's proud of you for staying strong throughout your studies, he's far more excited to have you pay more attention to him now; without any of your annoying books getting in the way
Marco
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unlike the others, Marco is truly 100% keen on making sure that you can work as efficiently and calmly as possible. Before you even start with studying, he's already setting up your desk for you and also observes how you're feeling to see if you're really in the mood for it
after all, nothing good is gonna come out of it if you force yourself! Your thoughts might wander and the time will be wasted. So before you sit down and learn, he is sure to spoil you and make you feel utterly relaxed so you won't stress too much
during studies, he often prefers to take on the role of a teacher and 'tutors' you on what you're currently working on
at night he secretly stays up and looks through your textbooks to see what subjects you have to prepare for, and if he can help with anything, he sure as hell will
it's kind of his personal job to stay up to date with whatever you're doing, so you always have him to rely on whenever you might struggle or not understand something.
whenever he can, Marco will come up with memory-bridges to help you mesmerize certain things more easily, and sometimes those references can even connect to situations you might remember from something that happened with the crew
and of course Marco often praises you for how strong and smart you are- even if you don't understand something at your first attempt, he knows how hard you're trying and always encourages you to keep going. He's certain that there's not a single obstacle you won't be able to overcome, as long as you put your heart and soul into it!
whenever you reach a new milestone or finish a study session, he rewards you. Said rewards can be cuddle sessions, showers of kisses, or him giving you a nice massage to help relax your muscles from sitting at your desk for so long
as your doctor as well as boyfriend, he's always concerned about your well-being. Intense studying sessions as well as the pressure to get everything mesmorized can be very emotionally taxing, and Marco makes sure to keep a close eye on you and your mental health so you won't get burned out
there's definitely a break-plan he designed just for you, and if he's not around to remind you to taking some time off every now and then, he'll get another crew member to jump in for him
what matters the most to him is how you're feeling. So even if there are days where you don't live up to your own expectations, Marco would never dream of scolding you for it. Instead he reminds you that you did your best and already learned so much- plus, tomorrow is a new day! If you couldn't do everything today, you probably will do it some other time. He's confident in that!
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makeste · 4 years
Text
BnHA Chapter 280: I Am Red Riot
Previously on BnHA: The pro heroes over at Gunga Mountain struggled against Gigantomachia and the League until finally Midnight was all, “fuck it, let’s just put the kids in charge.” Momo immediately got to work organizing a sophisticated counteroffensive involving an exploding swamp, a bunch of sedative cans, and a massive coordinated team attack. I gotta tell you guys, it’s really something to watch a large-scale group attack in which all of the team members are actually competent. I don’t know what Japan put in the water when all these sixteen-year-olds were growing up, but that shit has paid off big time, and basically the only reason Machia hasn’t gone down yet is because he cheated and was all “sneeze” and the kids all got blown away because they are little and because he is really, really big. Anyway so then Dabi set the forest on fire because he loves doing that, and the chapter ended with Mina using her Acid Man attack to make herself FUCKIN’ FIREPROOF so she could charge through the woods ready to save the day and stuff!
Today on BnHA: Mina launches herself straight at Machia like the beautiful corrosive wild child she is, but then everything goes to shit when she recognizes him from that one time she almost got murdered while giving a strange man directions. Just when it’s looking like she might get killed for real this time, KIRISHIMA SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY AND SHOVES HER TO SAFETY AND IS ALL “BOTTOMS UP” AND HEAVES A LITERAL CAN OF WHOOPASS RIGHT IN MACHIA’S MOUTH. At this point the grown-ups are all “oh wow look at that, time for us to take over for you kids now, don’t worry we’ve got it all under control” because Oh Those Wacky Pros and all that, but at least Majestic finally deigns to show his face so that’s a plus! The chapter ends with us cutting back to the Jakku battle, where Tomura is curled up in a little ball all “curse you heroes, how dare you [checks notes] save people all the time”, which is a real take and a half. Anyway so things are looking up, which can only mean everyone is about to die. That’s how it works, right. Shit.
HOLY SHIT LOL
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THIS IS MINA. SHE’S REALLY COOL AND SHE CAN MELT PEOPLE. um, the hell kind of tagline is that?? holy fucking shit?? “melt and succumb”?? IS THE SUCCUMB PART REALLY NECESSARY. IS THAT NOT ALREADY IMPLIED. it’s like saying “die and then perish”, which actually sounds really badass and I’m about to make it my new go-to threat actually so you know what never mind. where the fuck were we anyway
“IS EVERYONE SAFE” some absurdly bad-at-gauging-situations kid from class B is yelling while the forest is on fire and all the kids are recovering from having been catapulted fifty miles by King Dodongo’s windy yeet breath. of course they are safe, sweet child. of course everyone is absolutely fine, why the fuck would they possibly not be safe after something like that
KAMINARI NOOO MY POOR SWEET BABY
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AT LEAST HE’S STILL CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO MAKE STUPID JOKES. holy shit this baby got concussed to hell and back and then Machia turned him and the others into precipitation and he wasn’t in any kind of state to even try to land safely, I hope to god someone caught him
Sero is all “is there anyone still in range!” and damn, I like that he’s taking charge and trying to regain their momentum. he is so criminally underrated. I feel like he’s in the top six or seven of class 1-A kids who I would most trust to take charge. which is very high praise because that class has a lot of charge-taking kids
SPEAKING OF
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it “probably” can’t get through her acid, she says. my god. sometimes the spirit of Plus Ultra just takes ahold of these kids and it’s like, I want to ruffle their hair proudly and then grab them by the shoulders and shake them vigorously because WHERE EVEN IS YOUR SELF-PRESERVATION WHY DO NONE OF YOU HAVE IT GODDAMMIT AIZAWA REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPELLED YOU GUYS AFTER ALL
man. and yet I really do love this “be the one who can do it” stuff. what a heroic fucking attitude dfjfklks. I’ll just go put on my humongous sandwich board that reads GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITE and go stand in the corner
damn it this week’s scan is annoyingly dark, it’s really hard to tell what’s going on but it looks like the pros are attacking Machia and the League at long last. way to go guys it only took you seven years but you finally hopped to it
MINA WHY IS THE ACID COMING OFF OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. PUT IT BACK!!!
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I KNOW SHE’S NOT GONNA DIE DAMMIT BUT AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH
okay what the hell is up with these weird zen proverbs though
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“your fear stricken heart”, “the shortest path”, what the fuck even is this. whose thoughts are these. normally these translations are honestly decent enough but I gotta say this time around I’m totally being thrown for a loop lmao
(ETA: FYI I’m only just now realizing that he was saying the shortest path to Master, as in Tomura, not “master” as in to master something fjkldjskf lol some delayed reading comprehension there. so basically he’s just bitching about how annoying these little “flies” are proving to be.)
JESUS CHRIST
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okay is it just me, or is Gigantomachia suddenly showing intelligence in his eyes instead of mindless animal instinct the single most pants-shitting thing you’ve ever seen?!! holy shit. the way he just LOOKS at her out of nowhere all of a sudden?? holy fucking shit DO NOT HURT MT. LADY OH MY GOD I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. AND DON’T YOU DARE HURT MINA EITHER!! JUST FUCKING DIE AND PERISH
but also though, is that recognition in Mina’s eyes?? because even though this dude is 80 feet tall now, her encounter with him a couple years back had to have been one of the more memorable experiences of her young life. damn I was wondering when this would finally come into play
OKAY YES THE NEXT PAGE IS A FLASHBACK OH SHIT
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this has nothing to do with anything but Mina just has the prettiest hair, btw, and this “just woke up covered in acid” look is a particularly good one on her. it looks so soft and fluffy, like damn. this is like Shouto-hair-billowing-in-the-wind levels of pretty here
NOOOOO
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oh my god holy shit?! putting her back in the school uniform to show the slip in her mentality is a PUNK MOVE, HORIKOSHI, and I respect the shit out of you for it you manipulative bastard. goddammit. bracing myself for the incoming wave of Mina feels... here they come... they’re a lot... let’s see if I can latch on to anything I can actually figure out how to describe in words
okay well here’s one, my respect for Mina’s bravery just went up like a thousand percent in this instant, because now we know this was actually such a traumatizing event for her that hearing Machia’s voice again years later immediately sent her into a full-blown flashback. she was that scared and yet she still stood up to him and didn’t hesitate. and now I’m remembering how her knees just buckled right afterwards, and just...
and this visual, though!! what a brutally effective way to show that in her mind she went right back to being that scared middle schooler again for a moment. god fucking damn. holy shit you guys is Kirishima fireproof because if he comes waltzing out of the woods next I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. lolo kids getting traumatized left and right this arc is fucking merciless
um eXCUSE ME!?!?!
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YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LET GO OF HER RIGHT NOW OR I AM GONNA LOSE IT!!
THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!
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holy shit he could have fucking snapped her neck like that??! I don’t like this at ALL WHAT THE FUCK
OKAY SERIOUSLY
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I’M GONNA NEED ANOTHER KID TO STEP IN HERE WITH A LAST MINUTE SAVE LIKE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, OR I AM GOING TO THROW MY COMPUTER OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND MOVE TO THE DESERT AND BECOME A HERMIT AND NEVER READ MANGA ON THE INTERNET AGAIN
OH THANK GOD
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TODAY WE SPELL “REDEMPTION” K-I-R-I... ETC. THERE’S A LOT OF LETTERS BUT YOU GET THE DRIFT!!!
holy fucking shit y’all. I mean, it’s not like it came out of nowhere, like the setup could not have been more obvious, but let me assure you that none of the predictability lessened the actual impact of this moment in the SLIGHTEST. Horikoshi really wrote a flashback scene one hundred and thirty five chapters ago and planted it, watered it once a day, and patiently waited for THREE LONG YEARS until he could finally harvest the badass fruits of his labor in the midst of his most epic arc to date. I’m so fucking hyped I’ll even forgive him for sacrificing Mina’s big moment and having her get rescued, because it’s such a good reversal. he didn’t freeze up this time. he promised himself he’d never freeze again and he didn’t and he saved her and god fucking damn. anyways so now Machia is going to treat him like a fucking action figure though but he’s a solid little dude he can take it hopefully
NO WHAT IS THIS!!! STOP KILLING MY MOOD!!!
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she better not be dead!! SHE BETTER NOT FUCKING BE DEAD I WILL RUN MY PC THROUGH A PAPER SHREDDER AND GO AND LIVE ALONE WITH MY FEELS ON A MOUNTAIN IN TIBET
CHINTETSU!!
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well we know he’s fireproof. another callback at the least expected of times lmao
so Tetsu’s all “yeah Kirishima’s not really all that fireproof but he totally ran over here anyway to save you. oh wait that probably wasn’t very comforting of me to say.” maybe that’s why it seems like he might not have actually said it out loud, now that I’m reading this over again. good call Tetsu
ARE YOU STANDING UP AND CASUALLY STRETCHING OUT YOUR BACK
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I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HOW MUCH I HATE THIS GUY RIGHT NOW. WE’RE REACHING LEVELS OF HATRED RESERVED FOR NAZIS AND PEOPLE WHO WALK TOO SLOWLY IN FRONT OF ME IN A GROUP SHOULDER TO SHOULDER INSTEAD OF SINGLE FILE SO I CAN PASS IN FRONT OF THEM. YOU’RE A FUCKING TOURIST IN NYC YOU PIECE OF SHIT
lmao he’s just dropping this random hero person and letting him fall to his doom wheeeeee
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remind me to leave all of the League of Villains’ texts on read for the foreseeable future. goddamn. I still love you guys but also, fuck you so damn hard
OHO A LIL RED SCALY BOI ISN’T DONE YET!!
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real talk, just between you and me, I’ll lower my voice so that Kirishima can’t hear. so uh. we all agree that even if Kiri is fireproof and squishproof, that little can of tranquilizer juice technically shouldn’t have been, right? but we’re all going to hush and pretend like it was anyway for the sake of not spoiling his big moment. even though I am crossing my arms and tapping my chin with my finger while doubtfully glancing to the side
anyway here he goes!
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YEAH KIRI GO GETTIM [stage whisper] there it is, in his pocket. should’ve burned. we won’t discuss it
OH FOR FUCK’S
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TOGA YOU LITTLE WIENER BUT WHAT’S THIS ABOUT “MY HALF” NOW????
DID HE GRAB MINA’S MID-AIR?? IS HE REALLY REACHING INTO HIS BACK POCKET AND FUCKING UNZIPPING IT RIGHT NOW WHILE HOLDING ON TO NOTHING AND PRESUMABLY FALLING THROUGH THE AIR. DID A LITTLE BIT OF OCHAKO’S QUIRK RUB OFF ON YOU OR WHAT
OH SNAP SON HE REALLY DID THE THING HOLY SHIT???
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AND TOKAGE FLEW OVER AND SAVED HIM AND NOW TANKS ARE SHOOTING AT MACHIA, LMAO WHAT IS THIS. MOMO HOW MANY GUNS DID YOU MAKE
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Shouji standing there trying to be useful any way he can. are eyeballs really that much more effective if you make them the size of tennis balls and hold them up above your head. legit question, I don’t really know how eyes work
okay after 45 seconds of googling this my impression is that no, they are not. well good on you for giving it the old college try anyway though Shouji
oH MY GODLKDLK?!?!
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DID SHE SAY WHAT I THOUGHT SHE SAID, DID SHE SAY MAJESTIC, ARE WE GONNA SEE MASJKESLTKCI DSFLKJL
oh my god he really is the Magic Man dude??? TIME TO DUST OFF MY INVENTORY OF ADVENTURE TIME QUOTES
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(ETA: AHH FATGUM AND GANG ORCA ARE THERE TOO YESSSS!)
“that’s enough depending on some interns” oh, okay. now that they’ve done all your work for you. I see, I see
so now Gigantomachia is LITERALLY UNHINGING HIS JAW I can’t fucking believe this dude you guys. everything he does is just like, ARE YOU SERIOUS
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please go to sleep already. thanks to you I have my keyboard set to capslock as the default for the duration of this chapter
ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU FUCKING WAITED UNTIL MAGIC FUCKING MAN SHOWED UP TO TEACH US MAGICAL LIFE LESSONS AND NOW YOU’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE TOMURA FIGHT?? WHY DO WE KEEP LETTING THIS MAN GET AWAY WITH THIS
oh my god you guys they really fucking did it
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I guess that Howitzer slash fire punch combo really was that potent huh
anyway so now Endeavor is standing there making a big speech instead of reaching into Tomura’s pocket and taking the bullets that he doesn’t know about and shooting him with one asap. dammit Endeavor
aaaaand Tomura is firing back with the wisdom of Shimura Fucking Kotaro of all people
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well you sure convinced me. damn I don’t know what I was thinking. heroes suck you guys. how dare they help other people all the time
so now he’s all “PERIOD, EXCLAMATION POINT!!”
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take that Endeavor. you heard the man. it’s not destruction without conviction, as god as his witness he will have you know it is destruction WITH conviction. something something the great sage Shimura “I hurt my family for absolutely no reason at all, fuck this ‘helping others’ bullshit” Kotaro. I hope you packed your textbooks because you just got SCHOOLED. I hope the person who ordered you signed up for delivery notifications because you just got SENT. I HOPE YOU LIKE CAPITALISM BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT OWNED. I HOPE YOU CHOSE PAPER AND NOT SCISSORS BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT ROCKED
what an absolutely, unreservedly bizarre place to end the chapter lol. we’re really just done with this week, just like that. Majestic showed up and Gigantomachia opened his chin like a garage door and Tomura is all “you may have won the battle but you suck” while he buys time for Aizawa to suddenly sneeze or something so he can make his terrible comeback and continue Horikoshi’s Traumatize Every Kid in Class 1-A 2020 campaign. what an arc this is my friends. what an arc
263 notes · View notes
gazelonger · 3 years
Text
the volume of the universe
As much as Buck loves his job, some days are better than others. And this one—this one was plain bad.
Call after call, no food in his stomach, a literal drop of coffee that had scorched his tongue and didn’t give him even the slightest burst of energy he had hoped it would—Buck couldn’t wait for it to be over.
Even though Eddie has been unbearably righteous, Buck would have to agree with him; the last call was superbly boring compared to everything else.
And as much of a reprieve it had been, something about it left Buck thinking it was a bad sign. It didn’t help him feel any more settled than he was before—if anything the complete opposite—and he can’t sit still when they all clamber back into the cabin.
The jinx definitely had not gone away.
The universe does not scream, Eddie says, and there is a sudden, raw dryness in Buck’s throat and a deep chill in his bones. He doesn’t have long to think much about it beyond vaguely wondering if he’s developing a cold before the wind blows sparks from the live power pole leaning against the ladder truck, and Buck’s attention is drawn elsewhere.
It isn’t until later, until his eyes are scanning, unseeing, over some page in the book in his lap that his therapist assigned to him, that he’s replaying the conversation in his head and reminded of what Eddie said. Of how his body had reacted to it.
Out of everything that had been said in the cabin, that one bit of it affected Buck more than anything else, even more than the potentiality of almost being electrocuted to death. But it’d been hours since then and Buck can’t shake it.
It makes sense that it would elicit a reaction from him, he supposes.
For as long as Buck could remember, he had been keenly aware of the universe and its workings.
(Keep reading here or on AO3)
His mother’s shrill voice and his father’s misleadingly paternal one had reminded him time and again that the world is an uncertain place. He’d been told since he was young that he needed to look after himself because no other person could do it for him, let alone the universe.
Early on, the warning accompanied some form of coddling as the stern reminder that Buck probably could have stood to listen to. And it did work the trick for a little while; or it certainly used to scare the hell out of him, at least. Used to make him look both ways before crossing empty streets, made him scan people up and down in the halls at school for some imperceptible threat that was never there.
Eventually, though, Buck forced himself to swallow that fear. More than he needed to look after himself, he needed his parents to give him some kind of attention. Some kind of recognition that he existed. He needed it like he needed air to breathe, and all regard for his personal safety could come later.
Maddie was gone and there was no one to talk to, no one to get him out of his head when he got stuck there for too long, no one to even look at him. The house was too quiet without her. It was too empty. It was almost like he could feel himself disappearing.
And his parents were too occupied with themselves to appreciate Buck’s efforts to heed their advice, anyway, so there wasn’t really a point in continuing to do so.  
Buck missed the attention that getting into trouble would guarantee him, missed the fond exasperation and the headshakes paired with tight-lipped smiles.
And so he started acting out again, and the warning came back as he expected it would. But the resigned expressions of worry and love didn’t. In their place was a convoluted, angry, wild type of hurt directed towards Buck that he could never wrap his head around.
The world is an uncertain place, they would yell. What used to be a reminder that he should be more careful steadily became a furious, desperate plea for Buck to stop putting himself in death’s way.
But Buck didn’t care. Or he pretended not to—it was hard to tell sometimes. Regardless, he continued to tempt the universe.
He was messing with things that were bigger than him, that could have gotten him killed, and he was adamantly reckless about it.
It got to him every once in a while, how dangerous he was being. He was just a kid, after all; and he didn’t like getting hurt, he didn’t like almost dying. It left him rattled each time, left him shaking for hours and hours like he was freezing. Left him wishing he’d listen to his parents because maybe this time they’d be proud of him for it.
Even if he actively sought out the trouble—like the time he couldn’t get over his parents missing another football game and he taunted the biggest looking guy on the opposing team who then tackled Buck so hard that he had to be carried off the field—he would still feel unsettled and frustrated with himself afterwards. And it wasn’t because of the grade two concussion or whatever injuries he’d sustained.
He knew he was on a messy path.
So he tried to be okay with the hand he was dealt, tried to be okay with the fact that there was something about him that must repel his parents—that must have repelled Maddie. He decided to just keep his head low.
But no matter how actively he tried to stop seeking out trouble, it seemed to follow him anyway. Like a shadow.
Buck would be in class taking a test and his eyes would wander for a moment before he would get in trouble for cheating.
Or he would be riding his motorbike and would crash hard into a car that had run a red light—or maybe that he was too angry to see—and end up needing stitches.
Or he would spot a few guys from his lecture hall the money for a couple kegs and get blamed for the whole party.
(Or he would be sitting shotgun in the ladder truck before there was an audible BOOM , and he would come to pinned beneath it.)
Despite the fairly harmless ways he still acted out, even years after he reached adulthood, it was like the universe was finally getting its payback for Buck’s lifelong insolence.
Buck’s parents were only partially correct, he’d figured out. The world was an uncertain place. But it could be a certain place—if you learned to pay attention to it. And at some point, paying attention to the ways of the universe was necessary to survive.
Learning to respect it came naturally.
Even when he wasn’t actively seeking out trouble, when he wasn’t toying with fate, anything that happened to him was just what he had coming to him for almost three decades of unruly, disobedient behavior. Every heart-stopping, bone-crushing blow he faced was inarguably the universe’s way of saying this much is squared away between us, but we are far from even.
So after the day the one-eighteen had had, when they were sitting in the cabin and avoiding electrocution, Buck was practically thrumming with how much attention he was giving to everything the universe was saying to them. To him.
He knew that he tripped while he was booking it up the ladder on the first call because he was the one who had asked the probie the question which had triggered the whole day. It was the same way that, three years ago, the fire suppression system had been triggered on him because he was the one who had said the q-word.
It was, exactly as Hen called it, divine retribution.
The universe had a sense of humor, and Buck wasn’t deaf to it.
Eddie was, though. Much to Buck’s dismay.
Buck couldn’t stand it. It left him frustrated, his hackles raising and his words coming quicker and more clipped each time he spoke. Without realizing it, he was leaning forward in his seat, his hands gesturing as widely as they could without accidentally bumping against the window or the metal of the cabin or Hen sitting pressed next to him.
It was rare that he was the one to take something seriously while Eddie was the one to make a joke out of it, and Buck didn’t like the change of pace. Especially when it came to the universe.
The same universe which had crushed his leg, which had caused his blood to clot, which had put him and Christopher in the middle of a tsunami, was the same one that was not letting up on this day.
Why couldn’t Eddie see that, too?
That was hours ago, and the loft was quiet now as he, Hen, and Chimney read while Bobby tinkered around in the kitchen. But Buck is still thinking about it.
Buck knows that the universe can scream, knows that it is capable of doing far worse than screaming; he knows it like he knows the back of his hand.
But he tries to think about it from Eddie’s perspective.
Buck knows that Eddie is at least a little superstitious. All the remotes in his house still being in a basket on top of the refrigerator are proof enough of that.
But aside from that, Eddie has that medallion on him at all times like it’s a lifeline. And even if it really is just the reminder of Christopher being what comforts Eddie, Buck remembers the frenzied way he had scoured the floor of the locker room that one time it fell out of his pocket and he couldn’t find it right away. Remembers the blind panic in his eyes when he realized it was missing. Remembers the way Eddie’s body had sagged in relief and he brought the medallion to his lips and held it there after he found it underneath his duffle.
Buck also knows that Eddie likes maintaining control over his surroundings. He is proud of the choices he makes, he stands by them—like his choice to move himself and Christopher to LA.
He even claimed today not to worry about those things that he just doesn’t have direct control over.
Those things, Buck knows—even though Eddie didn’t say it—include Shannon’s death. Which, almost two years later, Buck knows Eddie is still struggling to come to terms with. Probably exactly because he had no control over it and couldn’t stop it from happening no matter how much he wishes he could have been able to.
So maybe the idea that some things are out of his reach, that some things are beyond his own will and happen for a reason, is too hard to comprehend.
Maybe, to Eddie, the idea that the universe is an active entity is too overwhelming a thought.
Overwhelming in the same way that it was to Buck when he was ten years old and couldn’t meet anyone’s gaze because he didn’t know what the world would do to him if he tested it.
So maybe Buck could be a little more empathetic.
But it just—it bothers him.
Underestimating the universe never ends well, and there is a tight feeling in Buck’s chest when he thinks that Eddie might be forced to realize that at some point.
The universe does not scream, Eddie had said. He had outright refused to believe that Buck was right.
The dryness in Buck’s throat is back, catching him off guard. A shiver runs down his spine and his fingers twitch against the page he still hasn’t read.
For the second time that day, Buck worries that he might be catching a cold. It was autumn, sure, but Buck just didn’t get colds. Irrationally he thinks it might be the virus, but he knows it’s not that, knows that a sore throat isn’t one of the symptoms and he can breathe just fine and he tested negative yesterday .
(He’ll take another one tomorrow, anyway. Just to be safe.)
Buck doesn’t understand what it is about the statement that leaves him feeling this way, leaves him feeling like he’s caught in the rain—
The rain. Screaming.
Oh.
Buck is stricken with a sudden memory of a cold shift from the year before. Of when they’d almost lost Eddie.
The storm came from nowhere and was gone just as quick. Buck usually liked the rain since it was so rare in LA—he didn’t like how it made his clothes damp and how it made his hair stick to his skin, although there is something different and less bothersome about it while he’s working—but on this day he hated it.
Or, well—no—he didn’t hate the rain, even then. He hated what it did to the earth. It soaked the ground through with water and turned it into thick and gooey mud. It had slipped through his hands like squishable sand, and had become packed deep beneath the surface, closing in on the well that Eddie was suddenly, horrifyingly, utterly trapped in.
The panic Buck felt in that moment nearly swallowed him whole.
And—as awful as it sounds—Buck isn’t a stranger to thinking the people he loves are dying.
He remembers the plane crash from his fifth month on the job. His SEAL training was the only reason he managed to avoid drowning in the unruly waves of the Pacific as he watched the remainder of the plane sink with Bobby still inside of it.
He remembers the silence over the radio when Hen didn’t respond during the earthquake. His jaw had locked into place and he was wobbly on his feet in a way that had nothing to do with the unnatural angle of the building.
He remembers finding Chimney lying on the ground outside of Maddie’s apartment. Chimney’s blood had pooled beneath Buck’s knees, the warmth of it seeping through Buck’s pants and his fingers where he held his hands over Chim’s stomach, staining his skin and his clothes.
He remembers miles of white landscape stretching out in front of him. The snow soaked his clothes and the soles of his shoes as he sprinted, his lungs burning, searching for any sign of Maddie. The sight of her stumbling hundreds of yards away with wet, raggedy hair and dark red all over.
He remembers the dread in his gut at the sound of a loud splash, turning around to see Christopher gone, having fallen into the water when the second wave came. Buck never saw Christopher come above the surface.
This, though. This was different.
Buck might have reacted the same as he did in some of those other situations, his instincts taking hold immediately and controlling everything he did. But he barely remembers the split second where he realized Eddie was trapped. All he knew was that he needed to get to him and then his bare hands were in the mud and someone was screaming.
Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! No! E-Eddie! Eddie, no! Eddie, no!
He didn’t realize it was him at first. Didn’t realize it until Bobby was pulling him back and he fell into his lap and started hyperventilating—sobbing, really—unable to breathe and the screaming had stopped.
(He wouldn’t have been able to stand if Bobby hadn’t grabbed him under his arms and hauled him up, all but dragging him towards the house to get his hands washed to give him something to do.)
But Buck had actually screamed himself hoarse. Woke up the next morning with a sore throat and everything.
Eddie never knew what happened after the well collapsed. Never watched the broadcast of it, not wanting to remember more than he had to. Buck couldn’t blame him; he never filled Eddie in on the details, either. It was too touchy a subject to broach, and, besides, Buck wasn’t too keen on wanting to relive the moment himself.
What happened to Eddie wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t have been him. The universe had no right to take him that day—and thankfully it knew as much, because Eddie had come back and was alive and made it home to Christopher and had spent the whole day today being a softcore bully.
The universe knew it wasn’t Eddie’s time. And while it might have been the one to send that lightning bolt down, triggering everything, it was just as responsible for spitting Eddie out of that lake.
Buck was sure of that.
So while Eddie might argue that the universe does not scream, he wouldn't know that Buck had screamed for it.
It’s at that point that Buck remembers that he is not, in fact, in the freezing rain. That Eddie is not buried thirty feet below him.
He is sitting in the loft in the firehouse. Eddie is in the bunks, probably sound asleep by now.
Buck swallows thickly, his throat still dry as his body recovers from getting lost in the memory. He shifts in the chair he’s sitting in and blinks rapidly, trying to clear the fog that has settled over his brain.
The loft is quiet. The only sounds to be heard are the occasional scrape of paper against skin as Chimney or Hen turn a page in the books they are reading, and the light tapping of metal as Bobby puts some leftovers from a dinner they finally had been given time to eat into tupperware.
It’s familiar, this, and it’s grounding in a way that Buck feels himself being steadily brought back to the present. Tension releases from his shoulders when he rolls them.
“You okay, Buck?” Bobby asks from where he’s busying himself behind the island.
Buck’s eyebrows lift, and he looks over to see Bobby watching him with mild curiosity.
“Yeah,” Buck says. He lifts his book off his lap slightly as if to say I’m just reading, and offers what he hopes looks like a reassuring smile.
Satisfied, Bobby nods, too, and then resumes whatever he was doing.
Buck takes a deep breath. He needs to actually read the book if he doesn’t want to be reprimanded by his therapist—which he doesn’t. He looks down at the page he was on, slightly regretting having zoned out. But he’ll be able to focus now, he figures.
The loft is quiet. Eddie is sleeping downstairs.
It’s almost a jarring juxtaposition from the rest of the day, where the universe hadn’t given any of them a single moment to catch their breaths. But maybe the jinx has worn off now—Buck can admit that he isn’t totally sure how it works.
Either way, something in his chest has been settled now.
The universe can be quiet, too.
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juju-on-that-yeet · 3 years
Text
Fall From Grace
Whumptober Day 28: Such Wow. Many Normal. Very Oops. Prompt: Accidents
A careless bullet from Wilford's gun hits Yandere as he's up in the studio catwalks, and what happens next reminds Wilford too much of memories long-buried.
Warnings: Blood, violence, falling from a height, traumatic flashbacks
Read on AO3 (Full Whumptober Series)
Enjoy!
~
It’s a normal day in Wilford’s studio, though it’s not a filming day. The usual players are around; Bim and Wilford half-rehearsing, half-editing a script while the Jims scamper around in the catwalks, as they often do. This time, though, Yandere is with them, venturing through the dark space and running across beams. Wilford hasn’t heard much from the trio since they went up there aside from occasional bursts of giggles, so he suspects they’re getting along well. A nice change, as the Jims usually seem a little frightened of Yandere, for reasons Wilford can’t fathom at all. Who could be scared of his adorable, stabby little brother? Either way, the three seem to be having fun together now, which is more than could be said for Bim and Wilford. The script felt right when they first wrote it, but its chinks and mistakes are making themselves known as they rehearse it, resulting in edit after edit.
“Ugh, this blasted script!” Wilford mutters, pacing in annoyance. At some point he pulled out his gun in anger, though he’s now only using it to scratch an itch behind his ear. “I thought you knew what you were doing with this, Trimmer!”
“Hey, how is my fault!?” Bim cries, “You wrote on this as much as I did, and we’ve corrected plenty of your mistakes so far, by the way.”
“Plenty of yours, too!” Wilford insists. He waves the manuscript for emphasis. “You keep using too many words to say the simplest things! Real people don’t talk like that!”
“And you insist on paring down everything until it doesn’t make sense!” Bim retorts, “We have to give people something, or else they’ll get bored!”
“And your long-winded lines won’t bore them just as much?” Wilford scoffs, “If anyone in the room knows about entertaining, I think it’s the face of Mark’s whole channel, don’t you?”
“I look more like Mark than you ever did, you egomaniac!” Bim cries, then blinks. “That’s not the point, the point is that your lines suck and we’re gonna be fixing them all day!”
“Maybe once we fix yours!”
“Yours first, Pinky!”
The argument continues. Even Yandere and the Jims can hear them from the catwalks. The Jims are amused, Yandere is bewildered.
“Do they always argue like that?” Yandere asks, peering as far down as he can without losing his balance.
“Yep,” RJ replies, “They yell and yell, and sometimes Pink Jim fires his shooty, but they always work together later like nothing happened!”
“Huh,” Yandere muses, standing up straight again, “I can see that. Anyone else arguing with onii-san like that would’ve been shot by now.”
“PJ looks like he’s going to shoot something soon,” CJ signs, before literally pointing out the way Wilford is waving his gun around.
“Oh, maybe I spoke too soon,” Yandere says, though he seems unbothered by the prospect of Bim getting shot.
“Pink Jim never shoots Bim Jim!” RJ exclaims, then pauses. “Well, not on purpose. He’ll probably fire into the ceiling or something.”
True to form, Wilford aimlessly fires his gun right then, straight over his shoulder and into the catwalks – where it whizzes right past the group. CJ yelps and jumps, and RJ looks behind himself, searching for where the bullet went.
“That was close!” RJ says, “Right, Stabby Jim?” He gets no response, but hears a gasp from CJ. “Stabby Jim?” he repeats, turning to look at Yandere.
Yandere looks back, eyes wide, hands over his stomach, blood seeping rapidly through his fingers. He lists to the side, tries to step back to right himself. But his foot touches air, and he slides off the catwalk beam before the Jims can even reach for him.
They do anyway, though, crying out as Yandere falls straight down.
Bim and Wilford hear them, look in their direction with just enough time to see Yandere hit the ground with a thud, right on his back. He doesn’t get up.
“Oh, fuck–” gasps Bim, running past Wilford to get to Yandere. Wilford teleports instead, poofing to Yandere’s side.
“What on earth??” Wilford mutters, “Yan’s balance is better then mine–”
“Wil, he’s bleeding!” Bim shouts, kneeling down to Yandere, “When you fired your gun just now, it must’ve hit him, that must be why he fell! Oh shit, fuck, Yan, wake up–”
Yandere doesn’t. He lays motionless, eyes closed and limbs strewn like a doll aside from the one arm still laid across his bleeding stomach. Blood starts forming a pool around him. Wilford stares at Yandere, eyes getting wider by the moment as Bim frantically putters around him. He tries checking Yandere’s breathing, as much as he can without moving him.
“Oh no, Wil, I don’t think he’s breathing,” Bim gasps, looking to Wilford. “What are you waiting for, go get Doc! You can teleport faster than I can run!!”
Wilford can’t move. He can hardly think, except to remember something half-forgotten. Another body fallen from a height, another body with Wilford’s bullet in its gut. Everything feels like slow-motion, even as the pool of blood around Yandere creeps ever wider.
“It was an accident,” Wilford gasps. It’s all he can say.
Bim’s eyes widen with recognition as the Jims, having finally climbed down from the catwalk, run towards the group.
“We tried to catch him, we tried!” RJ exclaims, already in tears. CJ is crying, too.
“You can still help out,” Bim says, resolute and taking charge, “You two are the fastest runners here, go get Doc. Tell him what happened and that Yandere isn’t breathing.”
They nod before running away, so gangly it’s a wonder they don’t trip over themselves. But Bim’s right, the pair are faster runners than all but the androids. Dr. Iplier will arrive soon, but in the meantime, Yandere’s not the only one in trouble. Wilford is still frozen, still staring at Yandere with wide eyes, clouded over by the past. Ever since those videos Mark put out, all the egos have known about Wilford’s history, and Bim knows exactly what Wilford is thinking about now.
“Wilford,” Bim says, turning to his friend, “You need to get out of your own head. Where are you right now, can you tell me?”
“Was it my fault?” Wilford asks, voice small, accent nearly gone.
“No,” Bim replies immediately, “You didn’t know that would happen when you fired your gun, it was an accident.”
“An accident,” Wilford breathes, “An accident, that’s all it was…”
At that moment, Dr. Iplier comes running in, medical supplies in his arms.
“Doc!” Bim cries, relieved, “Oh thank god, where–”
“Back away!!” Dr. Iplier barks, rushing to Yandere’s side and dumping his supplies beside him. Bim scrambles away to give him space to work. “The Jims are getting Plus, I already know I’ll need his help with this.”
“Is Yandere–?” Bim asks, nervous.
Dr. Iplier checks Yandere’s pulse with two fingers on the nearest wrist, which happens to be the one covering his bloody stomach, and then leans down to listen for his breathing. After only a moment, he straightens up.
“Oh, no you don’t,” he mutters as he starts chest compressions, “I haven’t done a hundred surgeries on you just so you could fall off a catwalk and die.”
“What if his back is broken?” Bim asks, wincing at the force of Dr. Iplier’s chest compressions.
“His breathing is more important than his back right now,” Dr. Iplier answers tersely, though he does pull Yandere’s lower jaw down to give him rescue breaths instead of tipping his head back.
He does one round of compressions and rescue breathing, then two. The whole time, Bim looks on with increasing anxiety, whimpering to himself in fear. Wilford continues to stare, the only change being the tears that start rolling down his cheeks. His mind is trapped in the past, back in those hours he spent staring at a body that wouldn’t move.
Finally, in the middle of the third round of compressions, Yandere gasps awake, coughing slightly and beginning to struggle. He doesn’t seem able to speak yet, still so winded and in pain he hardly knows what’s happening around him.
“Hey, lay still, Yan,” Dr. Iplier orders, though a measure of tension has left his voice and demeanor. “You fell off the catwalk, you might have a spinal injury. Can you wiggle your fingers for me?”
Yandere does, curling them back and forth.
“Alright, how about your toes?”
It’s hard to see through Yandere’s shoes, but he does move his toes. Dr. Iplier gently puts his hand on each shoe, one at a time, to feel the toes moving underneath.
“Alright,” Dr. Iplier sighs, even more relieved than a moment ago, “You have no idea how lucky you are, kid.”
“So his spine’s okay?” Bim asks, breathless with his own relief.
“Probably,” Dr. Iplier says, “But he could still have some fractured vertebrae, so he needs to be moved very carefully. I won’t do it until Plus gets here.” The sound of running footsteps pierces the air. “Speaking of…”
Plus strides into the room at top speed, pushing a stretcher with a backboard on top. CJ comes running in after him.
“Where’s RJ?” asks Bim, finally getting some breath back.
“We split up to look for Plus,” CJ explains, “I’m not sure where he went, but I’ll text him that I found Plus already.”
“Plus, help me get Yan onto the backboard,” Dr. Iplier says. Plus nods and gets to work. Dr. Iplier pauses a moment. “Looks like I need a third pair of hands. Bim, come over here.”
“Me?” Bim asks as he comes over.
“Someone has to put pressure on Yan’s bullet wound, it’s been bleeding too long already.” Dr. Iplier grabs a pack of gauze out of his med kit and hands it to Bim as he kneels down. He moves Yandere’s arm out of the way, revealing the wound. “Just keep pressing down on it with the gauze. If the gauze gets soaked through, tell me.”
Bim nods and starts putting pressure on Yandere’s wound, making Yandere whimper.
“Dad,” Yandere says, his first word since waking.
“You’ll be alright, hon,” Dr. Iplier tells him gently as he and Plus strap Yandere to the backboard and Bim keeps his hands pushing down. “Just keep staying still, alright?”
“Okay,” Yandere answers, too tired to do much else.
“Alright, he’ll be okay,” Bim sighs to himself.
“Doc,” Wilford gasps, speaking for the first time in a while, “Is it my fault?”
“Well…” Dr. Iplier says, unwilling to say “no.”
“What the hell, Doc!?” Bim cries, angry on Wilford’s behalf.
“Excuse me for not being very forgiving to the guy who shot my son and made him fall off a catwalk!!” Dr. Iplier snaps, beginning to wrap a cervical collar around Yandere’s neck. “It’s a miracle Yandere isn’t paralyzed, it’s a miracle he’s alive at all! So sorry for not pretending this wasn’t Wilford’s fault. I’ve told him a hundred times to be more careful with that gun.”
“I’m sorry,” Wilford murmurs, so quiet it’s hard to hear.
“That’s my line,” Dr. Iplier mutters, though most of the venom is gone from his voice as he focuses on Yandere.
Perhaps fortunately, Wilford doesn’t react. He’s still too shell-shocked to do much at all. Now his mind conjures memories of the dead body on the floor rising from the grave, getting back up and wandering to a mirror. The mirror cracked, and Wilford had, too. Not even in his nightmares has the image been as clear as it is now, watching Yandere get strapped to the backboard and a cervical collar get wrapped around his neck, hearing his voice. Yandere’s eyes land on Wilford, and he tries to smile reassuringly through his pain and blood loss. It makes Wilford move for the first time in minutes, but only to take a nervous step back. All he can see is a once-dead thing, moving with new, cursed life.
As if on cue, a burst of wind rushes through the studio as Darkiplier appears in the room with RJ beside him, who looks like he’s about to have a heart attack. And no wonder; Dark’s face is a picture of rage, but the screams and waving of his aura betray his inner fear. RJ must have ran into him while looking for Plus.
“What the hell happened to Yandere??” Dark growls.
“He got hit by a stray bullet while he was up in the catwalks,” Dr. Iplier explains, grabbing the backboard behind Yandere’s head as Plus does the same by his feet. “You’ve missed all the action, we’re just getting Yan to the clinic. He’s not paralyzed, luckily, and his time looks pretty decent for what he’s just been through.” He turns away from Dark to address Plus and Bim. “On three, Plus is lifting with me, and Bim, you’re following along and keeping the pressure on Yan’s wound. One, two, three–”
Plus follows effortlessly and Bim follows less so, but Yandere gets on the stretcher easily.
“Alright, Plus, you push Yan to the clinic, and I’ll take bullet wound duty from Bim,” Dr. Iplier says, stepping around the stretcher to stand in Bim’s place. Bim doesn’t need to be told twice, moving out of the way quickly. “He still needs x-rays and surgery,” Dr. Iplier tells Dark, “So you can’t have a moment with him yet.”
“Yami,” Yandere says, smiling faintly, seemingly too out of it to say much else.
“You’re alright, my love,” Dark murmurs to him, “I’ll see you soon.” He nods to Dr. Iplier, and he and Plus whisk Yandere away.
Left in the studio are Bim, the nervous Jim twins crowding around him, Dark staring after Yandere, and Wilford now staring at nothing. A moment later, Dark turns back to the others and sees the look on Wilford’s face. He sighs.
“How long has Wilford been like this?” he asks Bim.
“Since he realized he shot Yan by accident,” Bim answers, bracing for Dark to react badly.
Instead, Dark only sighs again. He understands immediately.
“You and the Jims go,” Dark says, waving them off, “I’ll deal with this.”
Bim is reluctant to leave Wilford in such a bad state, but he does, ushering the Jims out of the studio with him. Once they’re gone, Dark turns to Wilford, putting his hands on his shoulders. The touch makes Wilford jolt. He finally looks up at Dark, eyes churning with emotion.
“Is it my fault?” he asks.
“Does it matter?” Dark counters, though his voice is gentle. “What happened has happened, it can’t be changed.”
“It can’t be changed,” Wilford repeats.
“But this isn’t like last time,” Dark continues, “Yandere survived. He’s going to be fine.”
There’s a silence as Wilford contemplates this.
“It’s too much to ask for forgiveness,” he finally murmurs, “It’s hard to even remember all that I’ve done.”
“What happened to Yandere happened minutes ago,” Dark reminds him, “Your memory isn’t that bad yet, my friend.”
Wilford smiles a little. His eyes look a little clearer, there’s a little more color in his cheeks. But a part of him is still far away.
“If it was my fault or not, I still…” Wilford trails off, as though he isn’t sure what he’s trying to say.
“This was ignorance and bad luck,” Dark tells him, “This wasn’t malice. Intent does matter.” He lets his heretofore stern tone drop into something softer. “You know how much Yandere loves you; even if you had killed him he’d still find some way to forgive you.”
Wilford laughs, quiet and surprised but genuine all the same. The last of the cloud leaves his eyes and his expression.
“Right you are, my friend,” Wilford chuckles, his accent fully returned. He blinks, looks around. “Say, where’s Bim? We still have a script to go over!”
“He left,” Dark says, taking his hands away from Wilford’s shoulders, “I doubt he’ll be in the mood to edit a script after all the…excitement.”
“Well, he’ll just have to deal with it,” Wilford huffs, though his tone is good-natured as he brushes past Dark. “We have a deadline to meet, and we’re burning daylight! He can’t have gone far…”
Dark watches Wilford leave the studio. Once he’s gone, he allows himself some sadness, lets his aura shudder and scream like it’s wanted to the whole time. After a few moments, he gains control of himself again and teleports away to the clinic to wait for Yandere, leaving the studio empty.
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fanfuckingfic · 4 years
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You Move Like Real People Do
(Choreographer!Jimin x Ecologist!Namjoon x Singer!Reader)
Summary: Sometimes loving someone is just too easy. It just sinks into you so deeply or floats you away so high either way it shouldn't be hard to hold on to.
Wordcount: 2.6k
Warnings: (Sappy fluff, polyamory, lots of talk about bog bodies, excessive amounts of admiration, the songs are literally Hozier’s and you should listen to them if you haven’t, oh my god this is so self indulgent)
A/N: I haven't written in like 3 years and I've never tried bullet fic style so please be nice :( also I love Hozier so much oh my god I literally just built a whole universe in my brain around his music + bangtan and I think Movement fits Jimin so well and LRPD is a sick song and Joon is a just weird nerd but anyway please enjoy and lemme know what you think! 
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Namjoon is an ecologist and Jimin is a choreographer and Y/n is a famous indie-rock blues singer/songwriter (literally just fucking Hozier because I love that man with every bit of my heart).
You and Joon are early risers and spend mornings sipping coffee and reading together on the couch while you wait for Jimin to get ready for the classes he teaches alongside being a choreographer so they can kiss him good morning and wish him a good day when he leaves.
You’re sure to put extra honey in his green tea to-go cup, and he kisses you both quickly on the cheek before scurrying out the door.
They both kind of fiddle around with their day cause Joon is a professor at the local university and only has classes twice a week and finished grading that last assignment yesterday.
So now he's watering his plants and terrariums in the greenhouse porch you all have and your sitting there fiddling with your guitar, messing around with some chords sometimes writing them down sometimes not.
Casually you ask Joon which student had the best paper.
“One student went out of their way to be a kiss ass if that counts.”
You ask how he means with a chuckle.
“Well you know how I've been writing a thesis about bog bodies and what-not?”
“Yes of course, love, you only remind me of the phenomenon every chance you have.” You look up at him with mock disdain. 
His eyebrows furrow, “I thought you liked talking about the bog bodies” He pouts and you honestly can't even try to deny it.
“I do, I think it's kind of beautiful- not like dead people that's shitty- but when you describe how the swamps and bogs preserve them and how they’re found.” You take in a deep breath mulling over your words for moment.
“You make things like that sound so beautiful, Joonie. Even if I don't get half the big sciencey words you say. It sorta sounds like people falling in love with something they shouldn't but doing it anyway.” You smile to yourself thinking of him talking to (mostly at) you.
Namjoon still gets flustered easily by your and Jimin's creative ways of declaring your love.
He hears Jimin's tinkling laugh in your music and his own words in your songs, sometimes he feels like he doesn't love you both back enough but you both are quick remind him that he doesn't show love through notes and twirls
He shows them through flowers he picks and the way he's always willing to interrupt himself to explain something when he sees confusion in either of your eyes, because he knows you want to but wont stop his train of thought, you both want to understand what he's babbling on about because you love him.
(And he looks so fuckin hot when he goes on his passionate rants about certain bacteria being the back bone for an entire ecosystem how could you not?)
He blushes and clears his throat.
You always find the beauty in everything, can turn just about anything into a love story, a poem.
He loves that about you and Jimin you're both so able to make the world more beautiful with your bodies and minds. You both love that he adds so much sustenance to that beauty. 
“You're right, bog bodies deserve love, just like any real person does. But a student wrote their paper on them and used me as a source in their reference page.” He huffs, still amused by the students' tenacity. 
“Any real person, huh? You gave them an A didn't you?” You absorb his words before deadpanning.
Namjoon doesn't answer and instead bends down to kiss your lips then your forehead before he goes back to being very interested in how his Venus fly trap is doing.
Some days when your writer's block is extra bad and you've been struggling to come up with lyrics that mean anything or chords to go with them, Jimin asks if you want to come with him to the studio.
He's just experimenting with some new choreography so it's just you two. 
He notices when you get into these slumps you can't quite reach your way out of and staying in the house all cooped up trying to get inspired by the same things you see everyday isn't going to help. 
It's a classical piece a dance company hired him to choreograph, wordless dancing was always his forte.
Feeling the music move through him and around him, throw him to and fro. He likes to feel like a tool of expression- like an instrument to be played. 
You watch him work and think and move, over and over again, something just slightly different each time just slightly closer to what he wants. 
He's breathless by the time he comes to sit next you against the back wall he saw you staring the whole time and loves how he can still make you and Joon speechless and swooning even after all the years together. 
“Sometimes I forget you're real, you know, when you dance.” You murmur head on your knees still in a daze after watching him.
Jimin quirks an eyebrow and smirks.
“The hell does that mean?” He simpers, knowing you're probably about to say something that will completely floor him and make him fall for you even harder. 
“You just stop looking real I guess, you look like if I reached out to touch you, you would still just be barley out of reach, like driving towards a rainbow or a mirage, ya know?” 
He quirks his head, not really understanding what you mean but trying to.
“You're just so good at using your body to show a concept you almost kind of become one. I don't know, mostly, I just feel like I'd chase you forever if you really were unreachable like that, I don't think I'd mind.” You shrug and reach for his hand to fiddle with. 
He exhales in surprise. He was absolutely right. Floored.
“Would you dance with me? Running after me doesn't sound as pretty as us dancing together forever.” He asks twisting you fingers with his.
“I don't think I'd have a choice not wanting to dance with you would be like not wanting to breathe.”
He sighs dramatically. “Babe! How am I supposed to be okay after you say shit like that? Huh?” He laughs and shoves your shoulder playfully.
You laugh and fall over pulling him with you. 
Namjoon comes by later with drinks from the cafe he knows Jimin loves and finds you both slow dancing in the middle of the empty studio.
You both pull him in between you and continue to sway back and forth. It's sweet and romantic and your drinks go cold before any of you are ready to let go of each other.
Your latest album was amazing and you're about to go on tour and you're nervous to be away from your guys for so long cause last time you went on tour you weren’t as famous and such didn't go to different countries to perform. 
You're gonna miss them terribly and they miss you twice as bad and they definitely bawl their eyes out when your tour bus is out of sight.
They tried really hard to keep up the smiles for you cause you deserve the success and the recognition without guilt or reservations but wow the house is so quiet without your absent-minded humming and strumming and no knew pieces of paper with potential lyrics scattered around the countertops. 
You all keep in touch of course- face-timing at least once a day with both or either of them and you ask them not to watch any recorded performances cause you don't want them to spoil it for when you come back and do your final home concert. 
Your reason being: you left two songs off the album you wanted to perform on tour.
So now it's your last concert before you get to sleep in the same bed as your loves again, they arrive early but you're still too busy with sound check and your drummer having boyfriend problems to get more than a hug and kiss to each of them. 
They don't mind though they know how concerts are for you. You love them- you get to give your fans a bit of your soul and they all give a bit right back. 
They meander through the crowd towards the front not too close though. Your manager tried to get them to stay backstage but they both wanted to get the full experience since they did as promised and had steered clear of any footage of the concert. 
When you walk out everyone lights up and the energy in the whole concert hall shifts.
You smile so bright and they're close enough they can see the surprise on your face when you look down into the crowd and see them. Your eyes soften and get a little misty but ever the professional you trudge on. 
Song after song you work the crowd into the comfort of your melodies and words have people screaming, crying and eating out of the palm of your hand so easily. 
You get to the end of your set, Namjoon and Jimin know- you'd asked them for help when planning the show. They knew which songs you were gonna sing and when but it didn't occur to them it seemed just a bit short until now when you're clearly your throat and asking for the house lights to be brought up just a bit. 
“The next two songs are love songs, I would sing about political injustice and grieving a metaphorical loss all day if I could-” the crowd hoots a few times with their chuckles and Namjoon and Jimin feel surprised grins growing on their faces.
“but I'm just too in love to not write a song or two.”
You strum a tune he’s only slightly familiar with, its something he’s heard you tweak for the past year or so.
“The lyrics of this one are a bit odd and terribly specific to a certain person so bare with me.” 
The auditorium murmurs a laugh again knowing your lyrics more often than not are. 
“I had a thought, dear, however scary
About that night, The bugs and the dirt
Why were you digging?
What did you bury, before those hands pulled me from the earth?
I will not ask you where you came from
I will not ask you, neither should you
Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do”
The piano sounds and the haunting harmony from your back up singers makes Namjoon’s heart race. 
He knows what you're singing about, Jimin knows too he might not get it as well as Namjoon does right now- some of the things Joon talks about are just slightly too icky for him- but he does know that if he could dance about Joon’s brain he would. 
He smiles when Namjoon's hand squeezes his, his eyes unable to look away from you and the little story being told between you two right now. 
“I knew that look dear, eyes always seeking 
Was there in someone, that dug long ago
So I will not ask you, why you were creeping
In some sad way I already know
I will not ask you where you came from
I will not ask you and neither would you
Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We should just kiss like real people do”
Noli timere Namjoon hears the words being dragged and stretched in your vocals and his heart clenches.
“I could not ask you where you came from
I could not ask you, neither could you
Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips
We could just kiss like real people do”
Your voice tapers off and the strums slow as you open your eyes and hold his gaze meaningfully. 
Namjoon is left feeling like he's floating.
You wrote a song about something he cares about, you wrote him a song about one of his favorite things even if it is a very creepy weird thing.
You took all the thoughts he poured into your ears and made it something people could love just a little bit easier. He almost thought he couldn't love you more than he already did.
“This next one might be a bit less niche but if you've ever seen your lover dance you would know exactly what its about.” 
The heavy dip of bass vibrates their feet and a resounding clap comes to fill the air as the surprise and tears come his eyes. 
“I still watch you when you're groovin'
As if through water from the bottom of a pool
You're movin' without movin'
And when you move, I'm moved”
Jimin’s hand comes to his mouth and you smile mischievously into your mic.
“You are a call to motion
There, all of you a verb in perfect view
Like Jonah on the ocean
When you move, I'm moved
When you move I'm put to mind of all that I wanna be
When you move I could never define all that you are to me”
You look directly at him making sure he knows this is his song. 
“So move me, baby
Shake like the bough of a willow tree
You do it naturally
Move me, baby
You are the rite of movement
Its reasonin' made lucid and cool
I know it's no improvement
When you move, I move”
Jimin laughs wetly at your joke. You’re wrong- he thinks- your body is absolutely and improvement of any situation. 
“You're less Polunin leapin'
Or Fred Astaire in sequence
Honey, you, you're Atlas in his sleepin'
And when you move, I'm moved
When you move I can recall somethin' that's gone from me
When you move, Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free
So move me, baby
Shake like the bough of a willow tree
You do it naturally, move me, baby
So move me, baby, Like you've nothin' left to prove
And nothin' to lose, move me, baby
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Oh baby, oh baby
Move like grey skies
Move like a bird of paradise
Move like an odd sight come out at night”
The sudden crash of the band coming together to put music to your declaration makes goosebumps rise on Jimin's skin, Namjoon looks between you both and his heart melts softly in his chest. Just the admiration between you both enough to make him fall all over again.
“Move me, baby
Shake like the bough of a willow tree
You do it naturally, move me, baby
So move me, baby
Like you've nothin' left to lose
And nothin' to prove, move me, baby
So move me, baby
Shake like the bough of a willow tree
You do it naturally, move me, baby”
The calls and hums of you and your back up singers echo quietly before applause assaults their ears, the cheering nothing short of deafening. 
You bow and wave backing away from the mic for a few moments- taking in the last show you'll be doing for a while- before walking off stage.
Namjoon knows he should be pulling Jimin with him towards backstage so they can smother you with love properly but hey can't move Jimin has tears streaming down his face and Namjoon is too awestruck about you remembering him going on about the last words of a poet who had written about the bog bodies and how you always just cared so much about him and Jimin.
Eventually they do move through the leaving crowd towards security, the guards already aware of their faces escort them.
They knock on the green room door with your name next to it. 
It swings open so quickly they flinch back and the woman barreling into their arms throws them back at least a foot. 
“I missed you so much” you all but sob into their chests. Clinging tightly to their shirts.
They share a look over your head all too endeared with your clinginess having missed it terribly for the past months.
“We missed you too angel.” Jimin sighs into your hair, much closer to your head than Namjoon. 
Namjoon hums in agreement then sniffles making you both turn your faces up to look at him, Namjoon crying was a really rare thing well maybe in comparison with you and Jimin who will cry at an emotionally manipulative commercial without hesitation. 
You're both slightly shocked to see tear tracks on his adorably reddened face and him struggling to control his breathing.
“Ooh Joonie.” You coo then pull them both into the green room and start wiping at his cheeks. He sniffles again and it's absolutely precious.
“Y-you sang about b-bog bodies!” He sobs hauling you off your feet pushing the air out of your lungs. 
Jimin laughs and sniffs wiping at his now wet face too. 
“You guys liked them? They weren’t corny?” You wheeze as he sets you back down between them.
“Are you kidding?! You referenced Sergei Polunin, that's so corny, babe.” Jimin pets your cheek and kisses it tenderly. “Of course we loved them.”
“I'm gonna put my song in my thesis, its gonna open a whole flood gate for the romanticism of them.'' Namjoon says, mostly to himself, still shaky with tears.
Jimin pulls you both in for another hug and in a similar state to Namjoon says, “I’m gonna choreograph both of our songs. I’m dropping all my projects for it- right now.”
You laugh and shake your head before pulling back to take them both in again still not over how long it’d been since you got hold them. 
“You wanna go somewhere? Get a welcome home drink or meal or candle or something?” Jimin asks, putting your hair back into place as best he can. 
“That diner with the shakes on 5th is probably still open-” Namjoon starts but you shake your head.
“Can we just go home? I missed you so much.” They both nod with the softest smiles and each grip a hand.
Your tour bus dropped off most of your stuff at home earlier that day so Namjoon just takes your backpack and Jimin pulls your guitar over his shoulder. But not before asking with a smirk-
“Did you say Fred Astaire in sequins?”
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Thank you for reading <3 Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this! It’ll lets me know if I should write more or not
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redantsunderneath · 4 years
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I’ve Never Seen David Lynch and George Lucas in the Same Room at the Same Time…
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The thematic parallels between David Lynch and George Lucas are something I keep coming back to again and again, but their careers and evolution have a lot of overlap too.  They were born in the earliest Boomer cohort (George Lucas in May 1944, David Lynch January 1946) and had experiences growing up that were colored by the idyllic 1950s, but shifted into a distrust of authority structures that was common for many of their age cohort in the 1960s. They both came of age wanting to do something physical with her hands that felt creative to them in large grimy spaces - fixing cars for Lucas, and painting and installations with a fascination with organic materials, industrial metal, and rot for Lynch. They both fell into film because they were looking for something that satisfied their artistic bent (although film was never a primary aspect of her life to that point).  They wound up making a handful of short films over a 3 year period, culminating in a longer short-film that would eventually get them noticed at roughly the same age (Electric Labyrinth THX 1138 4EB [1967] and the Grandmother [1970] for Lynch).
These films netted both of them a patron (Francis Ford Coppola for Lucas, the American Film Institute for Lynch) and started filming their first feature-length film two years after those films.  They both got their biggest name recognition bump by films released in 1977 and pulled away from the power of the studio system in roughly 1984. Famously, Lucas offered Lynch a chance to direct what would become Return of the Jedi in about 1981 ( I prefer the story where Lucas does this by picking him up in a Lamborghini - I’ve heard a phone call version too, but it’s not as perfect) and Lynch answered something like “it’s your movie George, you direct it.” They both spent the mid 80s in movie jail, and although they took very different paths in general after (I’ve been emphasizing the similarities) there are still things that jibe in the history - they both reminded people of what they liked about them with a late 80s movie, spent a lot of the 90s on TV projects, did one project around classic radio, returned to theatrical notice around the millennium, all the while generally keeping their own council and disappointing a lot of fans.
There’s obviously a world of difference. Lucas is a left brained technologist who equated freedom with an owning of the means of production.  Lynch is it right brained impressionist seeing freedom-as no one ever being able to tell you what to do, acting as a solo artist with collaborators who merge with his sensibilities.  Lynch is a production lone wolf, depending mostly on people believing in him and funding him, and losing out in the popular consciousness by making uncompromising art that may not be what the audience wants, meaning funding is sometimes hard to come by. Lucas is like the Democratic party controlling the Congress and presidency - having total power but unable to turn that into what he really wants to make, somehow. The idea of Lynch selling his body of work to Disney is absurd.
But the correspondences in this are telling and help to explain the thematic similarities and divergences.  Plus, the differences often relate to the similarities - Lucas identifies with corrupted controlling paternalistic power as a horror of inevitable capture of the individual by larger structures, while Lynch sees the corrupted masculine influence as an archetype, the call coming from inside the house, agency coopted by a collective taint in the universal pattern .  But on some level these are the same thing - what is this person I am capable of becoming seeing as I am in control but yet not, doing horrific things?  Lucas’ constant commentary on slavery is about hegemony and a systemic oppression he is complicit in, while Lynch has whole pantheons of beings that turn people into vessels that oblate the self and make them act on subconscious programming.  Neither probably think the word neoliberalism too much but tend to communicate similar things about it is almost diametrically opposed ways.  
The thematic similarities are rooted in a few areas that unpack in to a variety of subspaces which overlap – patriarchal structures as psychoanalytic dynamics (more Freudian father fixation for Lucas, Jung for Lynch), boomer generational failure as socio-first-but-economics-ultimately, the artist as in struggle with larger forces (largely of the self), and an eastern religious metaphysics that is American Christian in flavor.   The major line of difference running through this is gender/sex/desire, Lynch being on main with a lot of spiritual overtones of sin, guilt, and “the fall” and Lucas finding this kind of guilt and sin as a secondary phenomenon that is mostly actively suppressed and unconvincing when it shows up; yet both wind up often finding physical consummation at direct odds with art in a gendered creation way (that also links Eraserhead to Age of Ultron and the original Frankenstein). Try doing a psychosexual reading of Howard the Duck sometime.  
Lucas’ developmental through line is this: dude in love with 50’s culture but informed by 60s counterculture makes a movie where the young granola-ish revolutionaries win against the fascists in an effort to rewrite society but, having secured rights for “independent spirit” reasons now finds himself in control of something huge and immediately starts making art about boomer men becoming their controlling fathers and then moves on to movies where powerless freaks are the real focus.  After a creatively fallow period, he comes back to make a sequel/prequel trilogy that is one of the most misunderstood complicated statements about people becoming what they hate as an eternal cycle at the level of the personal, the societal, the political, the spiritual, the artistic, you name it!
Lynch’s developmental through line is this: dude in love with 50’s culture but informed by 60s outsider/art counterculture makes a movie where the young artist struggles with the idea of a regular life, initiated by fatherhood, which attempts to destroy the artistic spark, after which he enters the Hollywood system and makes an artist as freak movie and a movie about plucky rebels conquering space authoritarianism (that the future of is books about that ending in messianic authoritarianism) and then disavows that system.  He then proceeds to make art about subject and object as a supremely gendered thing, in a land that has fallen from grace, moving inexorably towards the idea of eternal cycle at the level of the personal, the societal, the political, the spiritual, you name it!
They both have an idea of the father-artist identified with the abject oppressed, under siege as figure, resentful from being kept from creation, over a career realizing that their “self” is the horrific villain of their own story.  For Lynch, this is psychosexual, then spiritual, with a resisted toxic masculine urge to control and overwhelm, often in a violent way.  It is the artist’s own urges that get in the way of making art, of desiring in the universe that has an unbalanced power structure from some far off echoes of an original symmetry breaking inherent to the archetypal gender dynamic. For Lucas, it is the realization that the artist in control has a tendency to become the controlling dad and sexual relations are inherently problematic in a political and spiritual way.  Real art seems impossible if the artist has control, identifying with the downtrodden is a bit of a lie, happy endings can’t happen not because of the happiness bit because of the ending bit.  For both, there is a fundamental flaw in the cycle, which is patriarchal in nature, but Lynch just approaches this much hornier.
The boomer part probably requires the most discussion, but the TLDR is that they are both are crawling out, through Vietnam, from the 50s social order, and grappling with how badly the 60s idealism failed.  Lucas does this in the prequels as a big canvas critique of how the social revolution was co-opted by the generation not being able to see its own flaws, of not seeing the system taking over again, an Empire calling itself a Republic.  An inability to look in the mirror and really see.  The wisest oldest hippie is the only one who sees what’s happening, but is powerless as his apprentices are inevitably spit out, and the next generation has to be raised not by a skeptic but a true believer in “liberal” “democracy” (cynic quotes theirs).
Lynch is interesting here in that he most directly addresses this only in Twin Peaks, but we see more naked reflections, divorced of contemporary politics, in his other works. In Twin Peaks, Ben Horn is the Palpatine figure, who winds up a sweet old man buying off the harm his life’s work and progeny have produced while ignoring the poor and next generation personally. Jacoby the neutered, fried Yoda that eventually slides into Alex Jones territory (the canonical Boomer ethos in a nutshell – “what me” neoliberalism and change the world ideology going crackpot).  All of Twin Peaks except for Fire Walk with Me is directly socioeconomically generational (Bobby Briggs becomes a young Republican in season 2, the mill, the trailer park), but the other works are full of class issues informed by Lynch’s age.  From Blue Velvet’s suburban kid exploring his darker side by going to the poor part of town through a career of classist low-life encoding (Bob is a denim jacket wearing homeless person, all the covered in grime by the dumpster/trailer park characters, Ronette as the factory floor version of Laura, etc), culminating in Inland Empire and Twin Peaks the Return chronicling the fall of man as partially an (generationally specific in TP) economic fall into a unequal class defined world of needing an opening and leaving the house to labor as where evil is born. TP OS is about how boomers turned out just as bad, the Return is about how we inhabit the world of their ideological blindness.
All filmmakers seem to, at least to a certain degree, bring the question of creation of art directly into their work via distant or close metaphor. In Eraserhead and Elephant Man, Lynch values the spark of art which the downtrodden protagonist is trying not to lose. In Dune, the visionary with a big project that seeks to upend the system (but that we know eventually become something even worse) is a project that fell apart due to studio interference.  Blue velvet is about the act of watching awakening something uncomfortable in us that is incompatible with normie life (it wouldn’t be weird to say it was about porn). Twin Peaks is about television, FWWM about movies, and all at least partially about closure being a death act in art.  Lost Highway is about the artist tortured by desire, Mulholland Drive about desire being central to be eaten alive by the Hollywood system.  Inland Empire is about filmmaking as a way into understanding the world on a deeper level (as is its unofficial sequel Inception) to cure its ills.  All of this is art’s struggle against power, with an element of the major powers being subconscious forces that control us leading to desires that ablate the artistic impulse.
Lucas' projects have over time been about a young upstart independent filmmaker, losing his soul by becoming successful, and becoming the system, man.  He then tries desperately to identify as really not the one in charge, until he admits to what he has become.  He consistently dips back into filmmaking as an adventure or a good fight, but he has to set these in a time period before his birth.  As in Lynch, having a child is equated with not being able to fulfill the kind of artistic destiny, but Lucas goes further in equating it to an excuse for why the powerful artist goes bad and needs redemption.  He had a naïve or-is-it canny motif focused on the short inhuman outsider, often related to music or primitive settings (often with wooden cages) as a recurring thing for a while.  These characters are often wise, or at least no filter tell-it, and are similar to the Elephant Man.  This is a trope, sure, the wise different wavelength other, but there is also an identification of the artist at knowing and right yet impotent and a clue to the author’s metaphysical system.
Lynch is the mainline protestant in upbringing and very much influenced by a kind of proto-eastern religion (you can just say the Vedas for shorthand).  Lucas is not very religious, but was brought up Christian, influenced by Christian symbolism and became interested in world religion as narrative via figures like Joseph Campbell.  Hence, they both gravitate towards some kind of Gnostic Proto Christian, So-Cal zen, Thomas Aquinas “gets” Plato kind of amalgam, which informs their work.  Lynch has veered towards an eternal cycle framework, and the very physics compatible idea of something in the past breaking and causing consciousness/suffering, through which we can achieve joy as a counter only through letting go of the self, and the recurrence of ruptures on all scales demonstrating a fractal pattern of hurt and redemption.  Lucas also sees a big cycle, but it is one more of human existence as narrative that has a tendency to return, with a little bit of Nietzsche and movie eastern spirituality thrown in. Both believe in a recurring pattern that plays itself out in a way that is terrible, but hopeful, as the struggle is where hope derives from.  Both have inherently Christian ideas and symbols in their work but lean back on non-Christian ideas that the Christian ideas have a history with. Lynch has his virgin Mary as the real Christ figure female angels that show up, while Lucas has turnt space Jesus.
Suffice it to say that the tree trial scene in the Empire Strikes Back and the lodge sequences in Twin Peaks are a very good place to start looking for how the two auteurs meet.  Compare Anakin/Luke Skywalker to Mr C, look at the 90s turn they both made, register their seeing the “sleeper must awaken” of fiction being terribly fraught, compare the force vs. the universal field, the way their relationship status and partners carve their work into eras, and their continued existence as mainstream experimental filmmakers. 
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ariannjs · 4 years
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PRISON CELL | A SasuSaku FanFic One Shot
A day late but here's my entry for #SasuSakuTwitFest 2020 Day 4: Travels. I also posted a part of this for #sssnippetaday on Twitter.
Enjoyyyy!
-A
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Being on the road for two long years has led Sasuke to resign to the fact that he would be needing help from other people. With his lack of resources, he knew it's only appropriate for him to take whatever he can get from anyone who is willing to offer him anything. Provisions of food and a space to rest gave him the comfort that he thought he didn't deserve, usually from a widow, an old couple, or a starting family, who, by some miracle, did not see him as an S-rank criminal like how almost the rest of the world did. 
He's usually still on edge around people, shinobi and civilians alike. It wasn't unknown to him that not everyone was happy with Konoha's decision to spare him from a heavier punishment. But as he continued to travel, the weight on his shoulders began to lighten for he got to realize that there are still good people in the world, increasing his motivation to keep on pursuing and fighting for the peace that his brother had always hoped for.
Now, he has a lot of stories to tell when he goes back home.
On one of his visits in Ame, he was welcomed by an old widow in her home for three productive days. She insisted that he should be well taken cared of while he looked after the village to catch the group of rogue shinobi lurking in their area since the week before. It was a huge task that the civilians couldn't repay, according to her, so it was the least that she could do.
When he was about to leave after succeeding in his task there, the old lady even packed a bento for him. And he couldn't help but remember being a child once again as he accepted the bento and muttered a thanks at her.
"No problem at all, Uchiha-san. You've done so much more! A lot of people here are even fond of you because of what you did for us. So it's you whom we should thank."
"It's nothing, really."
"Ah. Such a fine gentleman you are! You've probably had lots of girls in your life, hmm?"
Sasuke slowly shook his head. Growing up, many girls threw themselves at him with the hopes of getting his attention, but there was only one that annoyed him and tugged his heartstrings despite his years of denial about it. "Just one." 
"My, my. It's wonderful to know that a handsome man like you is faithful to his one and only!" The old woman giggled. "Ah, young love. Could you tell me something about her?"
Blinking twice, Sasuke stared at her and thought about her surprising question. Until his mind traced back to those solitary moments he had in a prison cell in Konoha.
He was well aware that she was just doing her job. But despite her silence and his sight's absence, he could feel the tenderness of her touch and the warmth of her heart as she tended to the remnant of his left arm for the third time that week.
No words were spoken since the first time. But as he heard the movements of her hands while performing the signs for the jutsu to open his cell, he forced his dry throat to release something.
"Sakura, thank you."
He received no response that night, but he was sure that his former genin teammate smiled at that as she exited and locked his cell again.
The next time she visited for his checkup, he struggled between staying silent or asking something that has been bombarding his mind for days. It might have been obvious because he was startled when he heard her finally speak. 
"You have something to say."
He gulped. Unsure of how the conversation would go once his question was already out. But regardless of her answer, he knew he'd be able to sleep – nap – better that night when he finally hears from her. And so he asked, "Do you...still love me, Sakura?"
Astonishment was apparent with the medic for he felt her chakra fluctuate a little as she checked his left arm. He convinced himself that it didn't matter if he received a negative answer, but every second of her silence felt a lot more suffocating than being in that cell for weeks.
Yet she responded after a few moments, and it shook him to the core. "You know the answer to that."
"But Sakura, things change, don't they?"
"Not my feelings."
"Even after everything?"
The flow of her chakra in his system completely stopped and he heard the movements of her hand signs once again. But before he heard the clink of his cell's lock, she muttered, "Even after everything."
A week later, his chakra blindfold was allowed to be removed. It must've been because of Kakashi. He mentally thanked the man when he finally saw with his own eyes what he realized was his favorite shade of red.
Sakura entered his cell with her usual shinobi clothes this time, unlike the past weeks wherein she was wearing her lab coat. He knew this because he could feel its cloth whenever she was beside him, so today was quite unusual if he would think about it.
He stared at her as she approached him with a pout.
"You look weird, Sasuke-kun."
He raised an eyebrow inquisitively, making her chuckle.
"I'm here to cut your hair." Then she took out a comb and a pair of scissors from her back pocket.
He wanted to question her, but he ended up letting her do what she wanted as she gently placed a big cloth around his shoulders, thinking that it was probably a part of her job.
However, it was when she asked if he wanted her to shave the stubble on his jaw that he realized what she was doing was beyond her role as the medic looking after him.
"You don't have to do that, Sakura."
"But I want to."
"Why?" He pressed.
Then surprisingly, Sakura glared at him.
And with that, he already understood. He wasn't able to stop himself from smiling once she left him in his cell that night.
The old lady beamed when she saw how deep in thought Sasuke was, giving her the impression that this man was serious about the woman in his mind right now.
Sasuke cleared his throat. "She...never gave up in choosing to love me." He looked down at his feet as he remembered her face when he left a gentle poke on her forehead on the day of his departure. "Never. Even when I was so lost."
"You must feel very blessed, Uchiha-san."
"Aa." Despite the fact that he still felt like he didn't deserve her.
"Give me a moment," the widow suddenly said as she rummaged through a drawer in her living room. "Oh! Here it is!" She then reached out for Sasuke's hand, startling him, and placed something on his palm before closing it with her hands. "When you return to your lady, I hope you could give that little gift to her." She showed a smile that seemed to be partnered with a remembrance of someone.
Sasuke stared at his closed fist. "Thank you. But, why?" The cheery attitude of the woman mellowed as she answered, "I was supposed to give that to my daughter after she comes back from a mission. But then, the Fourth Shinobi War broke out." Pausing, she eyed Sasuke for a few seconds, causing him to recall the past war in such a vivid way. "But she died on the battlefield, fighting for the shinobi world. I believe it's her love for the people that drove her to give her all." "I'm sorry about your loss." "Oh, don't worry, I could say I've somehow recovered from it. I strongly believed that her death wasn't in vain, especially because you and your team have given that war a successful closure." Sasuke looked down once more. It was still quite weird sometimes, how a few people saw him as a hero, yet more people still viewed him as an international criminal that ended people's lives with his own hands. "The way you talked about your girl reminded me of my daughter, so please, give that gift to her. At least I know it will be in good hands." She smiled yet again, but this time, with eyes that were starting to become glassy. A small smile appeared on Sasuke's lips. There was something about the way she considered Sakura as his that calmed his entire system. And it amazed him how even though she's not here, Sakura could still draw people close to her. "She actually fought alongside me in that war, aiding me and Naruto in taking down Kaguya." The old woman gasped again, with a glint of recognition appearing on her eyes. "You mean..." Sasuke nodded. "Yes, it's Sakura Haruno." The words weirdly came out with some sort of pride from his lips. And even he was surprised to find himself verbally admitting to anyone Sakura's position in his life. The woman beamed and clasped her hands, returning to her cheerful attitude like earlier. "Uchiha-san! You two look good together! And, I guess that gift was after all truly made for her, don't you think?" She gestured to Sasuke's fist. Sasuke furrowed his brows in wonder and slowly opened his palm. His lips then twitched upwards when his gaze landed on a necklace with a cherry blossom crystal pendant.
"Now go home to her, Uchiha-san. I'm pretty sure all your exhaustion from your travels would subside once you see Haruno-san again."
He thought so too.
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May 2020 © AriannJS
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Hey guys! Hope you're all enjoying the #SasuSakuTwitFest2020 so far! Let me know your thoughts and feels about this one😄 There's a lot going on these days, but I pray that we'd all find inner peace despite this. Please stay safe!❤️
-A
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