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dufferpuffer · 8 months ago

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~~ Looking at Lycanthropy ~~

Part 2: Social Perception of Werewolves.

Looking at Lycanthropy (all parts)

Words: Approx. 8000

Social Perception (What people think of him; His social situation) Self Perception (What he thinks about himself)

PRISONER OF AZKABAN

Chapter 5 (In the last part, we saw that he was constantly described physically as being pale, ill, exhausted, grey-haired... but I omitted his other constant description: Shabby.)

pg 59 The stranger was wearing an extremely shabby set of wizard's robes which had been darned in several places.

Darning is to mend holes with stitches, creating a patch out of thread. This is a really nice image, alongside the lettering on his case: He has meticulously darned the holes in his robes. He has put his name on his case. He looks shabby – but full of effort and delicate care for detail, gaining skills to make do with what he has.

pg 60 'Well, I hope he's up to it,' said Ron doubtfully: 'He looks like one good hex would finish him off, doesn't he? Anyway ...' he turned to Harry, 'what were you going to tell us?'

Chapter 7

pg 99 He was as shabby as ever but looked healthier than he had on the train, as though he had had a few square meals.

Chapter 8

Notes: His clothes are really not up to par with how shabby, patched and frayed they are.

pg 107 'Look at the state of his robes,' Malfoy would say in a loud whisper as Professor Lupin passed. 'He dresses like our old house-elf.' But nobody else cared that Professor Lupin's robes were patched and frayed.

Chapter 9

Notes: Werewolf identification is common knowledge, likely for safety reasons Secondary Notes: Possible Remus has been avoiding the topic of werewolves, holding the class back to not reach it

pg 128/129 'Are you telling me that professor Lupin hasn't even taught you the basic distinction between–' … … 'Silence!' snarled Snape. 'Well, well, well, I never thought I'd meet a third-year class who wouldn't even recognise a werewolf when they saw one. I shall make a point of informing Professor Dumbledore how very behind you all are...' … … 'Very poorly explained... that is incorrect, the Kappa is more commonly found in Mongolia... Professor Lupin gave this an eight out of ten? I wouldn't have given it a three...'

It is common knowledge for magical folk, thirteen and over, to recognise werewolves. They're well understood – perhaps considered a likely danger, important to understand. Example: If you are out gathering ingredients on the Full Moon, or brewing a potion under its light, or simply traveling... you need to be able to tell a werewolf from a true wolf at a glance – so you know what spells to cast - whether to stay or run. Also – unless Snape is being hyperbolic and expecting far too much of the class – Lupin may be holding the class back intentionally so that he didn't reach werewolves, avoiding the topic for his own sake.

Chapter 10

Pg 139 Professor Lupin smiled at the look of indignation on every face.'Don't worry, I'll speak to Professor Snape. You don't have to do the essay.'

Lupin is happy the kids haven't done their essay. Rather than extending the due date, or shortening the length, or doing anything that encourages learning – he cancels the entire task.

Pg 147 Harry squeezed himself through a crowd of sixth-years and saw a sign hanging in the furthest corner of the shop ('Unusual Tastes'). Ron and Hermione were standing underneath it, examining a tray of blood-flavoured lollipops. Harry sneaked up behind them. 'Urgh, no, Harry won't want one of those, they're for vampires, I expect,' Hermione was saying.

Nothing to do with Lycanthropy – but I found this interesting: Honeydukes stocks lollies made for Vampires. Hermione might be wrong – maybe they're even for werewolves too – but the only Vampire we meet is introduced with some respect. Vampires are a topic that deserves its own meta-thingy, like this – but it is interesting that a 'Being' that is so dangerous, feared and possibly parasitic to Humanity is accepted enough to have lollipops! Is it a class thing...? There are ancient and powerful families of Vampires – while Werewolves tend to be Wizards-made-poor?

Chapter 12

pg 183 'They call it the Dementors' Kiss,' said Lupin, with a slightly twisted smile. ... 'He deserves it,' he said suddenly. 'You think so?' said Lupin lightly. 'Do you really think anyone deserves that?'

Remus seems to have strong feelings on the Kiss. He insinuates he doesn't believe anyone deserves it, through his calm and vague manner. Could just be his moral standing on the issue? His father studied them – maybe he just thinks they're awful. But consider, as a werewolf, he could face Azkaban with one misstep. I wonder if he dwells on that often.

Chapter 21 Notes: Werewolf and Murderer are suggested to the Minister with relatively equal weight. 'Werewolves are so mistrusted … his support will count for very little.' - given more weight than the fact he and Sirius are old friends.

pg 283 "Consider, Minister: against all school rules - after all the precautions put in place for his protection - out of bounds, at night, consorting with a werewolf and a murderer - and I have reason to believe he has been visiting Hogsmeade illegally, too -'

'Werewolf' and 'Murderer' are given relatively equal weighting. Both are 'monsters', I suppose.

pg 287 'Professor Lupin is currently deep in the Forest, unable to tell anyone anything. By the time he is human again, it will be too late, Sirius will be worse than dead. I might add that werewolves are so mistrusted by most of our kind that his support will count for very little - and the fact that he and Sirius are old friends -'

I didn't put this in the previous part: Just the small fact werewolves cannot talk when transformed. Seems obvious, but it's good to have confirmation.

Chapter 22

Notes: Lower your voice when talking about werewolves. Anyone would expect it'll send you packing. Lupin doesn't think the social backlash worth fighting, nor the danger worth mitigating. He failed once – and cannot trust himself a second time.

pg 308 'Blimey, haven' yeh heard?' said Hagrid, his smile fading a little. He lowered his voice, even though there was nobody in sight. 'Er - Snape told all the Slytherins this mornin'... thought everyone'd know by now... Professor Lupin's a werewolf, see. An' he was loose in the grounds las' night. He's packin' now, o' course.'

Note: Hagrid is a Half-Giant, hated just as much if not more than a werewolf – when he made a 'mistake' he was expelled and his wand shattered. He is sympathetic to Remus but understanding of the reality of needing to go. He isn't being callous here at all.

pg 309 'This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving from parents - they will not want a werewolf teaching their children, Harry. And after last night, I see their point. I could have bitten any of you... that must never happen again.'

Lupin confirms that he cannot control himself when transformed. He see's himself, and his failure, as a true danger that is not worth trying to mitigate.

~~~ ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

Chapter 3

pg 47 Remus Lupin stood nearest to him. Though still quite young, Lupin looked tired and rather ill; he had more gray hair than when Harry had said good-bye to him, and his robes were more patched and shabbier than ever. Nevertheless, he was smiling broadly at Harry, who tried to smile back through his shock.

He is tired, he is ill, he is grey and he is shabby. More than that: Even shabbier than they were over a year ago. He has patched them more – are they the same clothes?!?

Chapter 5

pg 94 “And I’m not a very popular dinner guest with most of the community,” said Lupin. “It’s an occupational hazard of being a werewolf.”

He's being a little cheeky – but its clear he accepts his fate: people won't like him. He is lucky some of the community accepts him.

Chapter 9

Notes: Werewolf segregation laws exist.

pg 170/171 Hermione was talking very earnestly to Lupin about her view of elf rights. “I mean, it’s the same kind of nonsense as werewolf segregation, isn’t it? It all stems from this horrible thing wizards have of thinking they’re superior to other creatures..."

We don't get to see Lupin's reaction to this – but it's likely more nuanced than Hermione's assumptions, especially considering Remus' 'acceptance' of his situation. Hermione see's the plight of werewolves as similar to the plight of House-Elves... well-meaning, but false, and insensitive to both House-Elves and people with Lycanthropy. Her wording suggests she instinctively doesn't think of Remus as a wizard, a human – but as a werewolf.

Chapter 12

Notes: Prejudice people call werewolves 'half-breeds' – already an insulting term for actual part-humans, but factually incorrect for werewolves. Lycanthropy is not a race or species.

pg 245 “I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school,” she said, an unconvincing smile stretching her wide mouth, “but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed — not to mention,” she gave a nasty little laugh, “extremely dangerous half-breeds.” “If you mean Professor Lupin,” piped up Dean Thomas angrily, “he was the best we ever—”

I hate to say it: she has a point – but she should have kept it at 'irresponsible wizards'. She is being speciesist and offensive: werewolves are not half-breed or part-human. They are 'whole' humans with Lycanthropy. Calling them half-breeds suggests they are 'less than human' and/or have 'lost some humanity'. Remus is not part-human, he is an irresponsible wizard. Dean's got his back though. get behind him, Remus

Chapter 14

pg 302 “Yes, but the world isn’t split into good people and Death Eaters,” said Sirius with a wry smile. “I know she’s a nasty piece of work, though — you should hear Remus talk about her.” “Does Lupin know her?” asked Harry quickly, remembering Umbridge’s comments about dangerous half-breeds during her first lesson. “No,” said Sirius, “but she drafted a bit of anti-werewolf legislation two years ago that makes it almost impossible for him to get a job.” Harry remembered how much shabbier Lupin looked these days and his dislike of Umbridge deepened even further. “What’s she got against werewolves?” said Hermione angrily. “Scared of them, I expect,” said Sirius, smiling at her indignation.

It's unclear if her anti-werewolf legislation was before or after Severus exposed Remus. I don't think it's ridiculous to think it was after, though that'd be more like 1.5yrs... Either way – soft confirmation that Remus is shabby from his financial situation, and that his financial situation is directly tied to social perception of his Lycanthropy. He also isn't entirely passive and accepting of his lot in life: he is angry about it when it goes too far.

Chapter 15

pg 308 Among those ‘eccentric decisions’ are undoubtedly the controversial staff appointments previously described in this newspaper, which have included the hiring of werewolf Remus Lupin, half giant Rubeus Hagrid, and delusional ex-Auror ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody.

Remus listed right alongside a half-giant. More interesting that Moody is listed as one of them, making sure to call him 'delusional' and without even printing his actual fucking name. Disgusting. Being part-human, physically sick, mentally sick... all similar, right? None of them are any good.

Chapter 22

Notes: Even 'accepting' people question their safety around werewolves. Healers may be more sympathetic – due to understanding them more and dealing with them more. Hospitals likely have rooms prepared for werewolf transformations. Secondary Notes: A recent Lycanthropy case may have anger issues.

pg 488/489 "...But that fellow over there,” he said, dropping his voice and nodding toward the bed opposite in which a man lay looking green and sickly and staring at the ceiling. “Bitten by a werewolf, poor chap. No cure at all.” “A werewolf?” whispered Mrs. Weasley, looking alarmed. “Is he safe in a public ward? Shouldn’t he be in a private room?” “It’s two weeks till full moon,” Mr. Weasley reminded her quietly. “They’ve been talking to him this morning, the Healers, you know, trying to persuade him he’ll be able to lead an almost normal life. I said to him — didn’t mention names, of course — but I said I knew a werewolf personally, very nice man, who finds the condition quite easy to manage. ...” “What did he say?” asked George. “Said he’d give me another bite if I didn’t shut up,” said Mr. Weasley sadly.

'Can Arthur stop being perfect for even one second' challenge: impossible. When talking about Lycanthropy: you lower your voice. It's a dirty topic. Arthur, at least, is also being mindful of the patients privacy... but Molly is reacting with prejudice. He is a werewolf so he is unsafe. Interestingly, the Healers seem to be sympathetic – and what Molly says suggests there are private rooms fitted for werewolves. Though that's likely a necessity for a hospital rather than a kindness.

The patient seems to have some anger issues right now... though I would too, if I had been infected by an isolating, degrading, painful illness and everyone kept telling me how 'normal' I could be. Arthur means well. He is sad he upset him. I love you Arthur.

Chapter 23

Secondary Notes: Lycanthropy may be enough to have you disowned by friends and family.

pg 507 Lupin strolled away from the bed and over to the werewolf, who had no visitors and was looking rather wistfully at the crowd around Mr. Weasley;

Did he have nobody in his life before he was bitten? Or has he lost them all now? I'm crying.

Chapter 28

pg 643 “How thick are you, Wormtail?” said James impatiently. “You run round with a werewolf once a month —” “Keep your voice down,” implored Lupin. pg 645 “I’m bored,” said Sirius. “Wish it was full moon.” “You might,” said Lupin darkly from behind his book.

James and Sirius are both loose-lipped and casual about his Lycanthropy. They see it as fun. Remus does not see it as fun. He is serious about it. Annoyed by James – pissed at Sirius.

Chapter 38

pg 867 Next to Tonks was Lupin, his face pale, his hair graying, a long and threadbare overcoat covering a shabby jumper and trousers.

Threadbare, too... can someone please fund a shopping trip for this man? Hand-me-downs? Is he too stubborn about it? Molly I am begging you to knit him a nice sweater.

~~~ HALF BLOOD PRINCE

Chapter 6

pg 94 To Mrs. Weasley’s displeasure, Harry’s sixteenth birthday celebrations were marred by grisly tidings brought to the party by Remus Lupin, who was looking gaunt and grim, his brown hair streaked liberally with gray, his clothes more ragged and patched than ever.

'Ship of Theseus' ass robes

Chapter 16

Notes: Most werewolves live outside of society, in groups following Fenrir Greyback. They are bitten young, taken from their parents and raised in cult-like societies that shun any who have contact to healthy Wizards – believing they are deserving of 'blood', revenge and over-taking society. They struggle out there with getting enough supplies and food, having to steal or kill to eat – and probably are largely uneducated. They follow Voldemort, through Greyback, in the belief his re-formation of society will benefit them. Remus is bitter about being 'equals' with these people, but has sympathy for them even if he sees them – and himself – as lesser than healthy Wizards. The idea he isn't is sweet but naïve to him. He doesn't fit in around them because he was raised and lives around wizarding society. Remus doesn't fit in with wizards either – and is extremely thankful for any help he receives. pg 281

Meanwhile, Remus Lupin,who was thinner and more ragged-looking than ever, was sitting beside the fire, staring into its depths as though he could not hear Celestina’s voice.

pg 283/284

“I neither like nor dislike Severus,” said Lupin. “No, Harry, I am speaking the truth,” he added, as Harry pulled a skeptical expression. “We shall never be bosom friends, perhaps; after all that happened between James and Sirius and Severus, there is too much bitterness there. But I do not forget that during the year I taught at Hogwarts, Severus made the Wolfsbane Potion for me every month, made it perfectly, so that I did not have to suffer as I usually do at the full moon.” “But he ‘accidentally’ let it slip that you’re a werewolf, so you had to leave!” said Harry angrily. Lupin shrugged. “The news would have leaked out anyway. We both know he wanted my job, but he could have wreaked much worse damage on me by tampering with the potion. He kept me healthy. I must be grateful.” “Maybe he didn’t dare mess with the potion with Dumbledore watching him!” said Harry. “You are determined to hate him, Harry,” said Lupin with a faint smile.

Remus appreciates Severus' dedication to his health. He see's it as a kindness: Severus had every reason to mess with it but kept him healthy instead. He was dedicated to Remus' health. It was because of Severus that he had his most comfortable year since he was a teenager – and he see's Harry's insistence on seeing the worst in Severus as ridiculous because of it.

Pg 284/285/286 “Oh, I’ve been underground,” said Lupin. “Almost literally. That’s why I haven’t been able to write, Harry; sending letters to you would have been something of a giveaway.” “What do you mean?” “I’ve been living among my fellows, my equals,” said Lupin. “Werewolves,” he added, at Harry’s look of incomprehension. “Nearly all of them are on Voldemort’s side. Dumbledore wanted a spy and here I was... ready-made.”He sounded a little bitter, and perhaps realized it, for he smiled more warmly as he went on, “I am not complaining; it is necessary work and who can do it better than I? However, it has been difficult gaining their trust. I bear the unmistakable signs of having tried to live among wizards, you see, whereas they have shunned normal society and live on the margins, stealing — and sometimes killing — to eat.” “How come they like Voldemort?” “They think that, under his rule, they will have a better life,” said Lupin. “And it is hard to argue with Greyback out there “ “Who’s Greyback?” “You haven’t heard of him?” Lupin’s hands closed convulsively in his lap. “Fenrir Greyback is, perhaps, the most savage werewolf alive today. He regards it as his mission in life to bite and to contaminate as many people as possible; he wants to create enough werewolves to overcome the wizards. Voldemort has promised him prey in return for his services. Greyback specializes in children... Bite them young, he says, and raise them away from their parents, raise them to hate normal wizards. Voldemort has threatened to unleash him upon people’s sons and daughters; it is a threat that usually produces good results.” Lupin paused and then said, “It was Greyback who bit me.” “What?” said Harry, astonished. “When — when you were a kid, you mean?” “Yes. My father had offended him. I did not know, for a very long time, the identity of the werewolf who had attacked me; I even felt pity for him, thinking that he had had no control, knowing by then how it felt to transform. But Greyback is not like that. At the full moon, he positions himself close to victims, ensuring that he is near enough to strike. He plans it all. And this is the man Voldemort is using to marshal the werewolves. I cannot pretend that my particular brand of reasoned argument is making much headway against Greyback’s insistence that we werewolves deserve blood, that we ought to revenge ourselves on normal people.”“But you are normal!” said Harry fiercely. “You’ve just got a — a problem —”Lupin burst out laughing. “Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my ‘furry little problem’ in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit.”

- Werewolves live so far that they are 'almost literally underground'. - They shun 'normal' society so hard that they distrust and outcast werewolves that don't. Cult-like. - 'It is hard to argue with Greyback out there' – it really is cult-like. More on that in Part 4. - Survival is difficult enough that they steal and even kill just to eat. Good luck out there, Remus. - It is possible that Remus couldn't write because having connections to wizards is frowned upon – but also that the average werewolf cannot read or write. Greyback bites children and raises them away from other Wizards... its doubtful they get a decent education. - Almost all werewolves are on Voldemorts side. Damn. More on that in Part 4 – but damn, they really are desperate. - At the moment, Voldemort has promised Greyback children to bite for his dream of overtaking healthy wizards. - Harry thinks of Remus as such a normal guy that him being a werewolf barely crosses his thoughts, unlike Hermione and most people in general. They see him as "Remus the Werewolf" rather than "Remus the DADA teacher who taught how to be brave" ... ... - Remus see's himself unequal to other wizards. This confuses the Harry. - Remus is bitter not at Albus for giving him the task – but that it is his lot in life. He wishes he didn't have to do it, didn't have to be around 'his equals', when they are so awful. - Remus is empathetic to other werewolves (even the one that bit him) because he understands well the lack of control and the pain. - He has less empathy for Greyback because he plans to hurt people. Control is important to him. - Remus thinks Harry's insistence that he is 'normal but with a problem' is endearing and funny. It is an unusual stance to take.

Chapter 22

pg 400 “What was the werewolf’s name?” said Harry quickly. “Well, the rumor is that it was that Fenrir Greyback,” said Hermione. “I knew it — the maniac who likes attacking kids, the one Lupin told me about!” said Harry angrily.

Even amongst werewolf hearsay and bad press Greyback is a maniac of a werewolf. Going out of the way to bite children is odd.

Chapter 29

pg 523/524 “We don’t yet know,” said Professor McGonagall, looking helplessly at Lupin.

Oh yeah, sure. Because all werewolves know everything about Lycanthropy. Nice one, Minnie. I'm joking – he really would be the expert in the room, a werewolf himself and someone with interest in magical creatures. :^)

pg 525 “You see!” said a strained voice. Tonks was glaring at Lupin. “She still wants to marry him, even though he’s been bitten! She doesn’t care!”“It’s different,” said Lupin, barely moving his lips and looking suddenly tense. “Bill will not be a full werewolf. The cases are completely —” pg 526 “And I’ve told you a million times,” said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, “that I am too old for you, too poor... too dangerous...”“I’ve said all along you’re taking a ridiculous line on this, Remus,” said Mrs. Weasley over Fleur’s shoulder as she patted her on the back. “I am no being ridiculous,” said Lupin steadily. “Tonks deserves somebody young and whole.”“But she wants you,” said Mr. Weasley, with a small smile. “And after all, Remus, young and whole men do not necessarily remain so.” He gestured sadly at his son, lying between them.“This is... not the moment to discuss it,” said Lupin, avoiding everybody’s eyes as he looked around distractedly. “Dumbledore is dead...”“Dumbledore would have been happier than anybody to think that there was a little more love in the world,” said Professor McGonagall curtly, just as the hospital doors opened again and Hagrid walked in.

Bill will be disfigured and contaminated – but the social stigma of that isn't as bad as someone with full Lycanthropy. The Weasleys – even Molly – are supportive of Remus, Arthur specifically pointing out that disability can happen to anyone. McGonagall's views probably mirror Albus' who has been nothing but supportive to Remus. However I think its clear by now that these views are not the norm. ... ... Alongside classism, ageism and believing himself dangerous – Remus is extremely aware of his social standing, doesn't wish to fight it and doesn't want to drag someone 'young and whole' with him. He see's himself as 'incomplete'. If that has some parallels to Umbridge's 'half-breed' comments – it's internalised speciesism as well as ableism: Half-breeds are not 'incomplete' people and he isn't even a half-breed. There is no way Remus would think less of Hagrid or Flitwick so it's bigotry saved for people like himself.

~~~ DEATHLY HALLOWS

Chapter 1 (Extremist Pureblood views – but they reflect a stronger version of larger societal views: Fudge tries to appease the masses, as does Rita Skeeter, with similar sentiments to these. Even the Weasley's have shown negative knee-jerk reactions to werewolves. I say this to keep in mind that while society at large wouldn't burst out laughing in mocking disgust at their family member marrying a werewolf... they still wouldn't think warmly of it.)

pg 13 “I’m talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And yours, Lucius and Narcissa. She has just married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud.” There was an eruption of jeering laughter from around the table. Many leaned forward to exchange gleeful looks; a few thumped the table with their fists. The great snake, disliking the disturbance, opened its mouth wide and hissed angrily, but the Death Eaters did not hear it, so jubilant were they at Bellatrix and the Malfoys’ humiliation.“She is no niece of ours, my Lord,” she cried over the outpouring of mirth. “We – Narcissa and I – have never set eyes on our sister since she married the Mudblood. This brat has nothing to do with either of us, nor any beast she marries.” pg 14 “What say you, Draco?” asked Voldemort, and though his voice was quiet, it carried clearly through the catcalls and jeers. “Will you babysit the cubs?” … … “Many of our oldest family trees become a little diseased over time,” he said as Bellatrix gazed at him, breathless and imploring. “You must prune yours, must you not, to keep it healthy? Cut away those parts that threaten the health of the rest.” “Yes, my Lord,” whispered Bellatrix, and her eyes swam with tears of gratitude again. “At the first chance!” “You shall have it,” said Voldemort. “And in your family, so in the world... we shall cut away the canker that infects us until only those of the true blood remain…”

Death Eaters think werewolves 'beasts' no matter their blood purity. They aren't even human anymore, their children – despite not being contaminated themselves – are regarded as 'cubs'. The thought of having someone 'contaminated' with Lycanthropy in the family is literally laughable. It is better to kill the diseased than wear the shame of mere association. Eugenics? In the Death Eaters? In Wizarding society generally? Gasp. What a shock. Chapter 5

Notes: Bellatrix want's Tonks dead as much as she want's Harry – because she married Remus.

pg 70 Tonks landed in a long skid that sent earth and pebbles everywhere. “Remus!” Tonks cried as she staggered off the broom into Lupin’s arms. His face was set and white: He seemed unable to speak. … … “So what kept you? What happened?” Lupin sounded almost angry at Tonks. “Bellatrix,” said Tonks. “She wants me quite as much as she wants Harry, Remus, she tried very hard to kill me. I just wish I’d got her, I owe Bellatrix. But we definitely injured Rodolphus... Then we got to Ron’s Auntie Muriel’s and we’d missed our Portkey and she was fussing over us –” … … A muscle was jumping in Lupin’s jaw. He nodded, but seemed unable to say anything else.

Cute. He was so stressed, so scared. My man can't express himself – he was scared he lost her... he's busting a blood vessel realizing how important she is to him.

Chapter 7

Notes: The Ministry is so anti-werewolf right now Remus, Tonks and maybe Arthur feel it would be better for everyone – especially Harry – for them to leave rather than be in the vicinity of the Minister.

pg 108/109 They all saw it at the same time: a streak of light that came flying across the yard and onto the table, where it resolved itself into a bright silver weasel, which stood on its hind legs and spoke with Mr. Weasley’s voice. “Minister of Magic coming with me.” The Patronus dissolved into thin air, leaving Fleur’s family peering in astonishment at the place where it had vanished. “We shouldn’t be here,” said Lupin at once. “Harry – I’m sorry – I’ll explain another time –”He seized Tonks’s wrist and pulled her away; they reached the fence, climbed over it, and vanished from sight. Mrs. Weasley looked bewildered.

Chapter 8

pg 123/124 “Arthur told us you were the one with the curly hair. Sorry about last night,” she added in a whisper as Harry led them up the aisle. “The Ministry’s being very anti-werewolf at the moment and we thought our presence might not do you any favors.”“It’s fine, I understand,” said Harry, speaking more to Lupin than Tonks. Lupin gave him a swift smile, but as they turned away, Harry saw Lupin’s face fall again into lines of misery. He did not understand it, but there was no time to dwell on the matter: Hagrid was causing a certain amount of disruption.

They all needed to be warned about the Minister – but I don't doubt some of that warning was for Remus. Arthur would know just how anti-werewolf the ministry had been... while Molly may not. It's so bad (and Tonks agrees with that assessment) that he scampered away over a fence. He willingly took Tonks with him and later looked miserable... he's probably found out she's pregnant.

Chapter 10

pg 157 On James’s left was Lupin, even then a little shabby-looking, but he had the same air of delighted surprise at finding himself liked and included... or was it simply because Harry knew how it had been, that he saw these things in the picture?

Chapter 11

Notes: Remus is extremely upset that he got Tonks pregnant – enough to regret marrying her at all. Association with him has made Tonks, and his child, outcasts – even to her own family. The treatment we see him get from Dumbledore's allies is far better than most, who won't even talk to 'creatures like him' – seeing him not as a 'Being' but a 'Beast'. It is so good he has come to expect being comforted rather than berated. Werewolves don't usually have kids, despite the condition not passing from parent to child. The stress of this entire situation has made him deranged and almost delusional. Baby is bad.

pg 185 “Remus,” said Hermione tentatively, “is everything all right... you know... between you and –” “Everything is fine, thank you,” said Lupin pointedly. Hermione turned pink. There was another pause, an awkward and embarrassed one, and then Lupin said, with an air of forcing himself to admit something unpleasant, “Tonks is going to have a baby.” “Oh, how wonderful!” squealed Hermione. “Excellent!” said Ron enthusiastically. “Congratulations,” said Harry. Lupin gave an artificial smile that was more like a grimace, then said, “So... do you accept my offer? Will three become four? I cannot believe that Dumbledore would have disapproved, he appointed me your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, after all. And I must tell you that I believe that we are facing magic many of us have never encountered or imagined.” … … “Well,” said Harry slowly, “I’m not. I’m pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren’t sticking with your own kid, actually.” Lupin’s face drained of color. The temperature in the kitchen might have dropped ten degrees.

Remus is only just holding back his disdain for 'making a young and whole woman have his cubs'. He feels so bad that he wants to go and do something useful and good. Something that makes him feel Dumbledore's positive belief in him again. 'Will three become four'... he is desperate for it, pushing the point as their 'teacher' – he needs to be reckless to distract from his reality. Again. Hiding your condition to get an education...? Go on walkabouts you know are bad. Awesome job with Dumbledores support...? Go make every bad decision in PoA. Got someone pregnant...? Go help the kids with the biggest target on their back.

pg 186/187 “You don’t understand,” said Lupin at last. “Explain, then,” said Harry. Lupin swallowed. “I – I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgment and I have regretted it very much ever since.” “I see,” said Harry, “so you’re just going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?”Lupin sprang to his feet: His chair toppled over backward, and he glared at them so fiercely that Harry saw, for the first time ever, the shadow of the wolf upon his human face.“Don’t you understand what I’ve done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I’ve made her an outcast!” Lupin kicked aside the chair he had overturned. “You have only ever seen me amongst the Order, or under Dumbledore’s protection at Hogwarts! You don’t know how most of the Wizarding world sees creatures like me! When they know of my affliction, they can barely talk to me! Don’t you see what I’ve done? Even her own family is disgusted by our marriage, what parents want their only daughter to marry a werewolf? And the child – the child –”Lupin actually seized handfuls of his own hair; he looked quite deranged. “My kind don’t usually breed! It will be like me, I am convinced of it – how can I forgive myself, when I knowingly risked passing on my own condition to an innocent child? And if, by some miracle, it is not like me, then it will be better off, a hundred times so, without a father of whom it must always be ashamed!” “Remus!” whispered Hermione, tears in her eyes. “Don’t say that – how could any child be ashamed of you?” “Oh, I don’t know, Hermione,” said Harry. “I’d be pretty ashamed of him.” Harry did not know where his rage was coming from, but it had propelled him to his feet too. Lupin looked as though Harry had hit him.“If the new regime thinks Muggle-borns are bad,” Harry said, “what will they do to a half-werewolf whose father’s in the Order? My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he’d tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?” “How – how dare you?” said Lupin. “This is not about a desire for – for danger or personal glory – how dare you suggest such a –”“I think you’re feeling a bit of a daredevil,” Harry said. “You fancy stepping into Sirius’s shoes –” “Harry, no!” Hermione begged him, but he continued to glare into Lupin’s livid face. “I’d never have believed this,” Harry said. “The man who taught me to fight dementors – a coward.”Lupin drew his wand so fast that Harry had barely reached for his own; there was a loud bang and he felt himself flying backward as if punched; as he slammed into the kitchen wall and slid to the floor, he glimpsed the tail of Lupin’s cloak disappearing around the door. “Remus, Remus, come back!” Hermione cried, but Lupin did not respond. A moment later they heard the front door slam.

- Remus believes marrying Tonks was a mistake – because just the act of marrying her has made her, and their child, outcasts. - 'Her own family is disgusted' as if her family's values are worthwhile. - He is treated the best by Dumbledore's people. - 'My kind don't usually breed' he is a wizard. He is a human being with Lycanthropy. Others with Lycanthropy may rarely have children due to social stigma – but the language he is using... yeesh. - The condition is not passed from father to child, but Remus is convinced it will, that he has ruined everything and everyone forever... he's deranged and upset about it. - Believes his son will be ashamed of him for being a werewolf. He is better off out of his life. - Despite this deep belief he is shameful – hearing it from Harry still hurts like a hit. He is used to being comforted. - Harry insinuates 'half-werewolf' (I don't think he believes this term himself) with an Order father is worse even than being muggle-born. (He also says he should be prepared to die for his family like James did, which I don't agree with, but he is making a point so I'll let him cook.) - Remus says he isn't doing this for glory – and he is mostly truthful. He messed up so he is running away from home before people can yell at him. He wants to be useful instead. - Harry likens him to Sirius: stifled, near-suicidal, itching to do anything to help – which is apt. He call's Remus a coward and he gets so angry he lashes out and runs away because he can't deny that. Chapter 24

pg 421/422 “You buried the elf,” he said, sounding unexpectedly rancorous. “I watched you from the window of the bedroom next door.” “Yes,” said Harry. Griphook looked at him out of the corners of his slanting black eyes.“You are an unusual wizard, Harry Potter.” “In what way?” asked Harry, rubbing his scar absently. “You dug the grave.” “So?” Griphook did not answer. Harry rather thought he was being sneered at for acting like a Muggle, but it did not much matter to him whether Griphook approved of Dobby’s grave or not. He gathered himself for the attack. “Griphook, I need to ask –” “You also rescued a goblin.” “What?” “You brought me here. Saved me.” “Well, I take it you’re not sorry?” said Harry a little impatiently. “No, Harry Potter,” said Griphook, and with one finger he twisted the thin black beard upon his chin, “but you are a very odd wizard.”

Werewolves are wizards – not House-Elves or Goblins. However we see them called beasts, half-bloods - regarded as 'less than human'. This makes Griphooks view on Wizards... interesting. He thinks Harry is a strangely kind wizard for saving his life, and giving a House-Elf respect. The bar is set extremely low when it comes to the treatment of fellow Beings, it seems. I wonder: are unloved werewolves given graves...?

Chapter 25

pg 446 “It is I, Remus John Lupin!” called a voice over the howling wind. Harry experienced a thrill of fear; what had happened? “I am a werewolf, married to Nymphadora Tonks, and you, the Secret-Keeper of Shell Cottage, told me the address and bade me come in an emergency!”“Lupin,” muttered Bill, and he ran to the door and wrenched it open. Lupin fell over the threshold. He was white-faced, wrapped in a traveling cloak, his graying hair windswept. He straightened up, looked around the room, making sure of who was there, then cried aloud, “It’s a boy! We’ve named him Ted, after Dora’s father!” pg 447 “I can’t stay long, I must get back,” said Lupin, beaming around at them all: He looked years younger than Harry had ever seen him.

His traveling cloak isn't shabby :'( how very OOC of him Love that his joy for his son being born is an 'emergency'.

Chapter 33

pg 578 “What’s Potter got to do with anything?” said Lily. “They sneak out at night. There’s something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?”“He’s ill,” said Lily. “They say he’s ill –”“Every month at the full moon?” said Snape. “I know your theory,” said Lily, and she sounded cold. “Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they’re doing at night?” “I’m just trying to show you they’re not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are.” The intensity of his gaze made her blush.

A theory, a suggestion, of Lycanthropy is dire – enough to make a muggleborn react strongly on behalf of someone else. 'Trying to show you they're not as wonderful' – just because Remus has Lycanthropy, and the others shelter that, they are all bad.

~~~ SUMMARY OF THIS PART:

Lycanthropy is a dirty topic. Regardless of who is nearby - you lower your voice when speaking about it. People do not joke around with the topic of werewolves. It is not to be taken lightly - accusations are serious. Remus is upset even when his friends joke about his condition or treat it lightly.

Pureblood Supremacists regard werewolves as 'beasts' rather than people, no matter their blood purity. Lycanthropy has ruined them, even their potential children will be 'cubs' - they are better off dead. To be associated with such an 'animal' in any way other than as a servant is ridiculously tragic and shameful.

While slightly less extreme: regular society reflects these values.

They might not think of werewolves as 'beasts' but they certainly don't regard them as 'normal people'. They are thought of as dangerous by nature, untrustworthy - likened to half-giants, murderers and the mentally ill... called 'half-breeds' despite not being half anything. Just being bitten could be enough to have you disowned from your family and friends.

Even those who are more sympathetic can be guarded, likening them more to non-human beings or part-humans than accepting them as fully human. They are potentially less accepted than Vampires.

At school students learn how to identify werewolves as creatures like hinkeypunks and kappa. There are laws segregating people with Lycanthropy, preventing them from working almost entirely. Being seen associating with a werewolf by the Ministry will reflect negatively on you. They are truly pariahs. It seems the only kindness in society is within hospitals - where Healers will still care for them and might have facilities to support them... at least when first bitten, while they are seen as a tragedy.

It is shocking to a Goblin to even have his life saved, or to see a House-Elf given a funeral - and both of those species at least are not 'dangerous' and have a place, a role, within society (though narrow and without many rights or freedoms). Werewolves have nothing. They are segregated, feared, thought of as animals - most people won't even speak to them. Being bitten has taken some of their humanity away in their eyes. It's unsurprising that most werewolves live outside of society, so far out that stealing and killing is sometimes necessary for survival. That perpetuates negative stereotypes... but changing minds is not the popular argument:

Fenrir Greyback might be considered a maniac even amongst those who already distrust werewolves - but he is king. He bites children, takes them from their parents and raises them to believe they deserve revenge - they will one day overtake 'normal' society and Lord Voldemort will help them get there. It is cult-like in the way they shun even other werewolves if they have had any contact with, or were raised by, 'normal' society. Considering Fenrir's victims are taken from their parents when young - and no werewolves go to Hogwarts - it's likely most werewolves aren't well educated... which makes it difficult for Remus to fit in.

Remus was lucky to have been one of Fenrir's early bites, before he was a household name, before he snatched kids away. He grew up in 'normal' society with loving parents... but it isn't enough to escape poverty. He struggles to find work. His clothes are shabby, frayed, threadbare, ragged - he darns and patches them himself. … … Remus doesn't expect to ever fit in. He will have to sneak around forever, sticking to the edges of society, trying to never give anyone reason to suspect him so he can at least enjoy some politeness. Even that is more than he deserves.

While he does believe those like him, who try not to cause trouble, are worth a little more credit - Lycanthropy is still a black mark he can never wash off. He accepts people won't like him as a fact of life.

He relishes positive attention. He is pleased when his student's don't want to do their werewolf essay. He cancels it - he might have even been holding them back to avoid having to teach it.

Despite believing himself shameful - having Harry agree rather than comforting him made him flinch like he was hit. Harry's opinion means a lot to him. Dumbledore has always been kind to him - and he has just about dedicated his life to him in return.

Severus supplying him with Wolfsbane without messing with it to weaken him is, to him, an extreme kindness he has nothing but gratitude for... while outing him as a werewolf was deserved.

Remus see's himself as unequal to other Wizards. Any positivity aimed at him is an undeserved gift. Harry's insistence he is 'normal' with a 'problem' is appreciated but seen as naive. All his mistakes or failures are confirmation that he is dangerous, weak willed, disgusting by nature.

The biggest mistake of his life was marrying Tonks and having a child - because he will ruin them. He brings them shame, everyone will be disgusted with them just by association with him - and they are better off without him in their life. Similar to Pureblood belief.

He doesn't think fighting for his rights or better treatment is a worthwhile endeavour. He buys into the classism, ableism and speciesism that has been thrown against him - at least a little. He might not think part-humans are less-than-human - but he considers himself un-whole. He may not look down on others for their poverty or their physical issues but he looks down on himself.

However he believes himself a little better than other werewolves: He is bitter they are 'his kind', his 'equals'... because living with them, trying to fit in, he is more 'wizard' than they are. He does have some pride and empathy for other werewolves that, like him, 'try to be good': he is angry that laws have made it harder for the werewolves that are part of 'normal society' to get work. He is upset that Greyback has been biting and raising young kids to his side - putting them in a position where they must steal and even kill to survive.

He may have strong feelings on the Dementors Kiss as a punishment - perhaps due to it being something he may be subjected to easier than other people.

He goes and spends time with a lonely man in hospital, freshly bitten. In his mind these people, like himself, are ruined, part of their humanity stripped from them.

They are no longer 'whole'.

#hp #hp meta #remus lupin #remus my beloved #love you remus #mywrite #lycanthropy

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wayfayrr · 2 years ago

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I can't quite believe this was first in my drafts in feb and I've only gotten to actually writing it these last two weeks.

This fic was based off of five songs from spotify shuffling one of my playlists which was an idea inspired by @trulytiredhermit and then it kinda just went from there

the songs that I based it on were: To my enemies - Saint motel, stalker’s tango - Autoheart, meet me in the woods - Lord Huron, The red means I love you - Madds Buckley and Bitter water by the oh hellos

You know they say you're nobody until someone wants you dead, and I can't help but feel like it's morbidly accurate for everything that's happened to me recently.

That weird shadow brought me here for whatever, most likely because it wants my head for some reason. and then all of a sudden?

I'm one of the most important people to the heroes of Hyrule, brought here by fate for whatever reason and they all love me… although love might not be the best way to describe it. If you were to ask any of them they'd say "It feels so wrong it's right" Heh how ridiculous to be that obsessed, so I ran as far as I could, lost in a world that isn't my own and one that shouldn’t exist out of fiction. Those boys that I once cared for; who promised me they'd find me someway home, but talk is cheap after all and it's oh so effortless to lie when it brings you so many benefits.

The situation was so incredibly strange, I don't think there's any amount of time where I could've gotten used to it despite what they would say. it started, well I can't say normally as nothing about this is normal, but it started well. they were themselves, they were still sane. but then they started to slip letting me out of their sight, less and less and less until it was like I had to be in at least one of their line of sight at all times, they wouldn't let me talk about my home, wouldn't let me focus on things that weren't them always trying to justify it whether it was to me or themselves I could never tell. Perhaps it was both?

This little journey I’ve taken into the unknown?

Oh, I’ll go back changed, I wonder if those I cared about would even recognise me at this point. How long have I been away at this point, it feels like ages yet my phone says it’s only days. Well in the games back home the games always ran on a much faster time scale, it wouldn’t be impossible that I’m still running off of real-world time; if anything it makes more sense with how I’ve not needed to eat or sleep for days on end. I’ve never been away from the links for this long, not since I started travelling with them that is. They’re probably worried sick at this point; it’s probably only a matter of hours until they do manage to find me. Until Wolfie sniffs me out, Sky uses Fi to dowse for my signal, or even Wild traces me with his slate.

“[name]?”

And with that last thought it’s as if I’ve jinxed myself and my hiding spot. The one thing I can be glad for is that it’s Sky who found me, while his anger is terrifying it’s not on the same level as Time, Warrior or Light forbid if Legend was the one to find me. Sky is oh-so-nice compared to them, even if he is a yandere with a strange fascination, a near-obsessive infatuation.

he still treats me like I'm a person though, so there's that. He, I think if I were to end up with any of them it would be him.

"oh by Hylia, [name] are you alright? you've been missing for so long, we thought you were kidnapped, but by the looks of it, you've managed to escape them! even, even if it did leave you hurt"

his smile doesn't look right. he's lying, lying straight to my face...

but it's not like he's lying to me. No, it's like he's trying to convince himself that's what happened. His concern is sweet despite how misplaced it may be; I can't bring myself to break it to him that it's not what happened. Unless...

I couldn't, could I?

oh, but I could.

"link, I- I wasn't kidnapped. I was scared of how the others are acting, I didn't feel safe so- so I ran as far as I could"

This affected me more than I thought, seeing as I could barely finish the sentence without stuttering or coming close to bursting into tears, I hope he reacts the way I want him to and by the look of it, he will.

His face instantly fell when I said that, filled with pity and something else I can't quite put my finger on, the closest thing I can think of is pride but even that doesn't seem right, is, is he smug? Why would he be smug that I’m scared of the others when I…

“Oh my dove, you don't need to be worried now, I'm here. I'm the only one you trust after all; the only one of us you need. you're my betrothed, my one true love until the end of time"

his"betrothed", when did he- how would he- how didn't I realise? Is Skyloftian culture so different to my own? oh, what am I saying of course it's that different. why is he reaching for - the feather? he proposed when he gave me that earring, didn't he?

"I knew I made the right choice when I chose you as mine, we’re perfect for each other can’t you see? And I know I shouldn't love you, I know I shouldn't love you but I do and nothing will separate me from you again as long as I draw breath.”

And isn’t that the truth, that look in his eyes, that stupid lovesick look. I’m not a fool entire for I know exactly what it means. The idea that even if I somehow made it home…

He would find me.

And he would never let go.

How are you even supposed to respond to something like this? This declaration of ownership, that no matter what I do I’m his. To think how I idolised him when he was nothing more than a game character, how naive was I?

Even still I can’t bring myself to hate him, even if he’s a walking red flag. Even if he’s someone I should run from in fear - It’s still Sky, still the only one to welcome me with open arms, the only one to treat me ever so kindly when I was petrified of everything.

Part of me is telling me to leave, to do what's smart and practical. But another part is pulling me towards staying, following my heart even if it means taking a risk. I know I’d have regrets either way for I would be losing something I care for no matter my choice and I’ll need to say something soon to him, even if it’s a lie. I can’t bear to see him so worried, even knowing where that worry is from.

I don't know what the right choice is, but I know that I have to make a decision. And no matter what I choose, I'll have to live with the consequences.

#I got the songs from shuffle in feb????#IT'S MAY??#HOW MUCH TIME HAVE I LOST CAUSE OF COURSEWORK???#yandere linked universe #yandere linked universe x reader #linked universe x reader #link x reader #lu sky #lu sky x reader

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thedepthsoffandomminds · 1 year ago

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Maze Runner chapter two

Newt and fem reader.

Previous part

You stand with the others, almost uninterested in antics of the boys around you. They all amused you in their own ways but on Greenie days their immaturity shines through. As the box arrived and you all.looked down at the boy inside. Just like every month a wave of disappointment sweeps over you at it not being a girl.

“HEY HEY HELP ME!!” The boy called to them. Gally pulled open the doors and jumped inside.

“Day one greenie. Rise and shine” he grinned, grabbing the boy by his collar and all but throwing him onto the grass.

“ I could use some help in the kitchen” Frypan laughed.

The boy looked around the others who were talking at once and you saw the fear in his eyes. He scrambled to his feet and started running.

“ Hey we got a runner!!”

You just stood and watched as he ran, Newt slid his arm around your shoulders as he laughed.

Between the boys they got him subdued somewhat and dropped him into the pit to calm down a bit. Later on Alby walked past you with a grin and over to the new boy.

“Hey Hey there greenbean Not gonna run again Pff good.” He laughed, “My name is alby, can you tell me anything about yourself. Who you are? Where you came from? Anything at all?” He asked with the same hope he had everytime.

The boy shakes his head, “no”

“Can you tell me your name?” Alby asked. “I-i-idon’t remember anything. Why cant I remember anything?” More panic starts to bubble in the Greenie.

“ It's okay. Hey relax. Relax. Its normal. Happens to us all. You'll get your name back in a day or two. It’s the one thing they let us keep.” Alby explains, patting Thomas in his shoulder.

“What is this place?” Greenie asks.

“Let me show you We eat here, we sleep here, we grow our own food, we build our own shelter, whatever we need the box provides, the rest is up to us,” Alby gestured to each place as he walked through the grass.

“The Box?” Greenie looked around himself.

“Yeah. It's sent up once a month with fresh supplies and a new Greenie. This month that's you. Congratulations.” Alby laughed.

“Sent up'? By who, though'? Who put us here'?” Greenie said as Alby shrugged his shoulders.

“That, we don't know.”

“Hey, are you all right, Alby?” Newt said walking up to them with you by his side.

“Green Bean, meet Newt and y/n. When I'm not around, he's in charge.” He pointed to Newt.

“Well, it's a good thing you're always around then.” You giggle and Newt nudges your arm.

“That was some dash you made earlier. For a second, I thought you had the chops to be a runner.” Newt said to Greenie.

“till you face-planted.” You added.

“That was great.” Newt grinned.

“Wait, a "runner"?” Greenie asked looking at the blonde boy next to you. Looking at the new guy you figured he was around your age, seventeen maybe, he had dark hair that contrasted with Newt's. His eyes though, you're sure you recognise those eyes.

“Newt, do me a favour. Go find Chuck.” Alby breaks your concentration and Newt darts off towards the shelter.

The greenie’s eyes are locked on Mai Mai who had sauntered up to your side.

“Oh, this is Mai Mai. She belongs to y/n, kinda. They are our only girls in the Glade.” Alby explained, “y/n do you wanna check with Frypan if the food is on track?”

“Sure thing.” You say before wandering off with the tiger beside you.

“Look, I'm sorry to rush this. You came up a little late, and there's a lot to do. We got something special planned tonight.” Alby said excitedly. He shows Greenie up the watch tower where he was able to explain everything to him.

“We only have three rules. First, do your part.

No time for any freeloaders. Second,never

harm another Glader. None of this works

unless we have trust. Most importantly… never go beyond those walls. Do you understand me, Greenie?” Albys’s eyes were never so serious than when he said this speech. Greenie nodded, though his mind screamed to know what was out there.

You sat below the shade of a tree by the shelter and listened to Chuck going through more things with the Greenie. Every new kid was sent with a hammock and blankets so they were working on getting that set up.

“It's basically the same story for all of us. We wake up in the Box, Alby gives us the tour, then here we are.” He explains, “Don't worry.

You're already doing better than I did. I clunked my pants three times before they got

me out of the pit.” Chuck turns to see Greenie walking away from him.

“No, come on. Dude, where are you going?”

“I just wanna see.” He says back.

“You can look around all you want but you better not go out there.” Chuck warned.

“Why not? What's through there?” Greenie pushed.

“I don't know. I just know what I'm told And we're not supposed to leave.” He sighed. Greenie copies the act.

“Hey, Chuck. New Greenie huh? How does it feel to be promoted?” Ben laughed. You liked Ben, he was the fifth boy to come up and a good friend. Though he had once told you he liked you a little more than that, you didn't return his feelings.

At the entrance to the maze you see the runners coming back in.

“I thought no one was allowed to leave.” The Greenie said.

“I said we're not allowed to leave.” Chuck states.

“ They're different, they're runners. They know more about the maze than anyone.” you elaborate drawing their attention to you.

“Wait, what?” he asked.

“What?” Chuck drops his head.

“What? You just said "maze."” He looks at you then back to the entrance.

“I did?” You raise your eyebrows.

“Yeah.” Chuck nodded, “Where are you going?”

“What are you doing?” You say getting up from the floor and disturbing the sleeping tiger.

“I'm just gonna take a look.” Greenie started walking away from the shelter.

“I told you, you can't. No one leaves, especially not now. It's not safe.” Chuck scrambles to keep up.

“Okay, all right, I'm not gonna go.” He says and he stands looking out into the Maze. You remember that look, Minho used to get that look.

Just as you were about to start running Gally came bounding across the field and pushed Greenie to the floor. He stood over him.

“We gotta stop meeting like this Greenie.”

He scrambled to his feet and you feel the other boys running to see what was happening.

New tries to calm him down but Greenie wants to know what is out there. You step forward and Mai Mai makes sure no one else can.

“Hey Greenie, it's for your own safety, okay? We can't just let you leave.”

“Why not?” Just as he asked, there's an echo that ricochets through the maze walls. Everyone turns to it and an eerie silence falls over the gathered boys. Mai Mai comes up to your side then rounds the Greenie and pushes him out of the entrance way.

“What the hell?” Greenie says. You all watch as the walls.of the entrance begin to move, closing in on each other. Everyone started to disperse and return to their jobs as Greenie watched the doors until they were fully closed. Once again Mai Mai nudged at his waist and pushed him backwards a few steps.

“Okay, okay. I'm going.” He held his hands up to her and turned round to you and Newt, he had once again flung his arm around your shoulder.

“Come on Greenie.” He beckoned, turning you both away.

Frypan and Gally had slaughter the older pig and cooked him over the big bonfire. Frypan had used the vegetables to make up a stew. You loved that stew and always looked forward to Greenie day. After eating Gally brought a brand new barrel of his homebrew and the boys started drinking. These nights were the best, you all, for just one evening, could forget where you were and the people you'd lost. It was nice. It was a real home.

You look up and see Greenie sitting alone by a log.

Newt came up to you and pulled you against his hard chest.

“Hey.” He whispers into your ear, “what's up?”

You gesture your head to Greenie.

“He could do with a friend.” You say to him. Newt nods, presses a soft kiss to the side of your head and wanders over to the Greenie.

Alby came.over to you and sat beside you.

“What do we think then? Where should we put him?” He has led you. It had always been you and Alby that chose where people went.

“He'd be a good runner but he needs to get a bit dirty first.” You say.

“So with you and Newt then.” Alby says as more of a statement than a question.

Not too far away the normal games started and Gally was sparing with another lad.

Newt dropped down against the log.

“hell of a first day, Greenie.” He laughed.

“Here. Put some hair on your chest.” He handed him the mason jar of liquid. Greenie took a large swing and coughed.

“Oh, my God! What is that?” He laughed.

“I don't even know. It's Gally's recipe. It's a trade secret.” Newt chuckled.

“Yeah, well, he's still an asshole.”

“He saved your life today. Trust me. The maze is a dangerous place.” Newt's eyes tell the story of a frightened little boy.

“We're trapped here, aren't we?” Greenie asked.

“For the moment. But...you see those guys?

There, by the fire?,” he pointed to Minho and the others runners, “Those are the runners.

That guy in the middle there, that's Minho.

He's the Keeper of the Runners. Every morning, when those doors open, they run the maze...mapping it, memorizing it, trying to find a way out.” Newt says proudly.

“How long have they been looking?”

“Three years.” He admits.

“And they haven't found anything?”

“It's a lot easier said than done. Listen. Hear that? It's the maze, changing. It changes

every night.”

“How is that even possible?”

“You can ask the people who put us in here,

if you ever meet the bastards.” He laughs again, “Listen, the truth is… the runners are the only ones who really know what's out there. They are the strongest and the fastest of us all. And it's a good thing, too because if they don't make it back before those doors close then they are stuck out there for the night. And no one has ever survived a night in the maze.” He explained.

“What happens to them?” Greenie asked.

“Well, we call them Grievers. Of course, no one's ever seen one and lived to tell about it.

But they're out there. Right, that's enough

questions for one night. Come on. You're supposed to be the guest of honor.” Newt jumps up to his feet, “Let me show you around. Come on.” the pair start walking back to the camp fire.

“And there we got the builders. They're very good with their hands...but not a lot going on upstairs.” He chuckled. “And then we got Winston… he's the Keeper of the Slicers. And we got two med-jacks, Clint and Jeff.”

He pointed at the two guys sitting close by.

“They spend most of their time bandaging up the slicers.”

“And whose she, why is she the only girl?” Greenie asked pointing his head your way.

“That's y/n we don't know why she's the only girl, but cross her and if she doesn't kill you the tiger will.”

“What if I want to be a runner?” Greenie asked.

“Have you listened to a word I've just said? No one wants to be a runner. And, besides,

you gotta get chosen.” He shrugs.

“Chosen by who?” at that moment the kid Gally was sparing with came tumbling out of the circle and knocked into Greenie.

“What do you say, Greenie? Wanna see what

you're made of?” Gally asked, the firelight making the thin layer of sweat on his forehead glow.

As they start pushing at each other you walk up to the circle. The boys part for you allowing you space. Gally knocks the Greenie to the floor and you see something change in his eyes.

“Thomas. Thomas. Hey! Thomas!” He gets to his feet once more, “I remember my name. I'm Thomas!”

“Thomas!” Alby shouts.

“Welcome home, Thomas.” Newt claps him on the shoulder.

“Good job... Thomas.” Gally smiles shaking his hand.

Next chapter

@fandomfan-102 @deanstolemydragon @afalls14universe

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youkaigakkou-tl · 1 year ago

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I just checked the old and new version of chapter 90 and I’m soooo confused.

Seimei's magic (used by Acchan) can affect everyone from the present (although in previous chapter guys from the present couldn’t affect the past).

“Byakko doesn't want to show you” -> “Byakko doesn’t know”. Byakko didn’t know about Ranmaru turning Acchan into a youkai. How could he recognize a supposedly-dead-man after 1000 years 🤨 what is the meaning of this change??

Acchan didn't actually do anything special here, it's been established that they can be affected by the recreation, its less like watching a movie and more like you're seeing everything from the adjacent room

(Haru trying to follow bc it looked that much like they were just in the other room)

(And shutendouji mommy appearing caused the room theyre in to shake too)

And connecting to the next bit, regarding the difference between Byakko not wanting to show vs not knowing

In either case, Byakko wouldn't have known about what happened because he wasn't there to see it himself nor would anyone have told him the details. But I'd assume everyone involved figured out the broad strokes at least, that "Suzaku helped Douman escape and turned him into a youkai and Suzaku was exiled"

And regarding whether Byakko wanted to show it, I don't think he wanted to show any of this actually.

(ENTERING DELULU ZONE)

Byakko doesn't have a motive to show them any of it, Sano is an uninvolved party, Ranmaru lived it, and Haruaki as a person just doesn't matter to Byakko, he's just the container for Seimei's soul to him.

He probably trapped them in that dimension to 1. stop Ranmaru from getting away and 2. keep them in a known place that's almost impossible to escape to deal with later

(As for why he didn't do this sooner, I can think of a couple reasons: 1. it's taxing, and he doesn't want to use it unless it's his last resort, 2. he's a showoff and too proud to use it against a bunch of youkai, 3. the target needs to hold pretty still for a bit and Haru is pretty damn fast 4. this is his special ranmaru backrooms)

What's more likely is them getting to see this flashback was a freak accident caused by Seimei or something

Mind you this is how they stumbled into it

And Seimei DOES has a motive for this, however obscure his goals may be. He seems interested in having Haruaki tie up his loose ends, seen with the shutendouji, and knowing what happened in the past is pretty important to working out whatever Douman and Ranmaru are hung up about.

Still, this is just a guess, but Seimei has infinitely more motive to show them that flashback than Byakko does. (In fact, the first scene of it before the four gods get summoned might even be Seimei's memory)

So it's not a matter of "Byakko didn't want to show them this part", it's "Byakko didn't want to show them any part of it, probably isn't even aware they saw the flashback, and physically cannot show them what happened between Douman and Suzaku because he wasn't there to see"

(END OF DELULU ZONE basically i think it was actually seimei using byakkos memories to show them that flashback. how he did this idk)

Anyway why Byakko could recognise Acchan is pretty simple, he looks the same still. And the fact he's the principal is probably fairly widespread knowledge among the gods who care to know about it.

#asks #rambles

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freezerbnuuy · 8 days ago

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Act 5:29- Fearful Symmetry (Page 4)

LORE | CHARACTERS | ABOUT / WARNINGS | CHAPTERS

← PREVIOUS | BEGINNING | NEXT →

Tsuna

Unless - is she in danger?

"Katlego, please, enter. Are you safe?"

"I am now."

She and Ellie return, still looking very similar to when we met. Despite the sunshine yellow of her dress, she doesn't have the sunny disposition I remember her having. Her horse waits patiently behind her as she speaks.

"Tsuna, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ever doubted what you did. I'm sorry I acted if I were superior for not fighting back. I - I - "

Emerald sniffs the air, seemingly recognising her.

"No, Katlego, please - it is not you who needs to apologise."

Emerald sniffs the air, seemingly recognising her.

"No, Katlego, please - it is not you who needs to apologise."

"There is no excuse for what I did to you, Katlego, nor others before you. I should not have acted as someone who would take in the lost and then cast them out into danger for not living up to my standards. You were right to do as you did - to stand by your pacifism, and I am sorry that I ever doubted you - deeply sorry."

"I am grateful to have you back, Katlego - one, to know that you are still with us, and two, so that I can offer my apologies to you. I ask for your forgiveness."

Henford's people may not be the most genuine in their apologies, but people like myself know how to make up for our wrongdoings. This likely seems a little extreme to her, but it is what I must do for what I did to her.

"Oh, you don't need to get on your knees, Iris- I mean, Tsuna."

"Hm? How do you know that name?"

She pauses. "Ah. Róisín returned to Henford. She assisted me with remedy deliveries for some time...and she mentioned that you speak highly of me."

She wipes the tears that start to pour.

"I used my magic on a witchfinder, Tsuna. I only wanted to deter him, but the terrible images that would have appeared in his mind - they drove him to suicide. I killed someone. All this superiority over never harming a single soul and now I just - I can't describe how horrible I feel."

What Katlego tells me only makes me more proud of her. She knows to defend herself now, at least.

"Your blame is completely misplaced, Kat. He did this to himself - all you did was frighten him off."

"This is what I've been trying to tell her, Tsuna," Ellie says. "See, Kat? Not your fault."

She lets out an airy sigh. "Tsuna, I cannot go back to Henford - I fear my own abilities, and I hope that being back in a place that values magic will help me to truly to come to terms with my own capabilities. That, and I fear the townspeople will turn on me once again - not to mention the witchfinders once they catch wind of what happened."

I see now why Kat fears her powers so much. Her magic is capable of altering the mind of others. Whilst that could be incredibly useful in some situations, I imagine it is easy to misuse even when you do not intend to. She ought to not fear herself - she is a wonderful person.

"I would welcome you and Ellie back with open arms. However, I do have a favour I may need to ask - and I may need to borrow your horse. You remember Jemima and Clara, don't you? They're missing - left without a sound and without a trace. Do you think you may be able to help me look for them? If they did leave on their own accord, I'd at least like to settle my nerves."

Kat smiles a little and gives a thankful nod. "I will do whatever is needed, Tsuna. Thank you for giving me a second chance."

#divided sims 4 story #freezerbnuuy

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dryadalismagicae · 15 days ago

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@luna-mxth || LIKED for a STARTER with Lyrian

"It's rather beautiful, isn't it-? Even given it's current state." 'T was not often that Lyrian would leave the heights of the keep to step out into the wilds unless he was personally delivering medicinal needs to the camps closest or rushing to meet a critical condition patient, thus it was a perfectly wonderful refresher to be out within the wilds once more. The warmth of the Emerald Graves was wonderful, the recognisable surroundings soothing the ache that had been present within his chest ever since he had given up his freedom to aid the cause; and now, with a bit of quieter time on his hands does he intend to enjoy it.

Exploring ruins, however, was not on his list of potential afternoon activities.

"Historians truly believe it to be the final resting place of the Emerald Knights, then-?" He'd grown up, partially, on the tales of them - had heard them in passing when he had crossed other clans on the road; such a huge part of their history was right there, crumbling before them. It was a shame - to see it in such a sorry state given that those interred there had given everything to protect their kind, and to know it was so well cared for once upon a time.

"I do wonder what they'd all think of this mess... My lineage dates back to Mathalin, himself - I cannot help but wonder what he might say to the absolute state of the world right now, and what came of everything..." But they could, unfortunately only guess. He would be interred there, somewhere- and perhaps with some looking and a little bit of care they'd be able to find his name carved into stone. Lyrian may not have had much connection to his clan or what came of them, or what they were, but he would like to pay his respects.

"Perhaps we ought light some incense while we're here?" An idle suggestion as he walks, slowly, taking in all there was to see. "Unless, of course, there is another reason you've asked me here?"

#There is a Pleasure in the Pathless Woods || Lyrian's Replies ||

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spotsandsocks · 1 year ago

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The Lost and The Found update!!

Chapter 6

Eddie Diaz was born a shifter, of the wolf variety, and he loves his life. Visiting his Abuela one summer he meets a new friend but not long after that everything in his life gets turned around and hard choices have to be made. Eddie faces his responsibilities and does what he has to do.

Saying goodbye to his wolf Eddie faces spending the rest of his life alone until Bobby Nash turns up in his life with an invite to join his team and everything changes again.

the start of Chapt 6 under the cut someone's about to see the light

A sleepless night has strangely not brought any clarity of thought. Now that Eddie knows what he thinks he knows he can’t stop thinking about it and looking for confirmation.

Unfortunately shifters and humans really aren’t that different except once a month unless you’re a shifter of course and then you can smell the difference and as Bobby has pointed out he’s not (anymore) so has lost that advantage. It’s never been more frustrating than it is now.

On the bright side at least Buck has forgiven him for his solo run and they’re back to normal which is a huge relief. It only took a day for his mood to lift and it’s a relief to have a more cheerful Buck back at his side . Bobby on the other hand keeps looking at him funny, or maybe that’s just his imagination. Eddie may have worked it out but it doesn’t mean Bobby knows he knows or even knows about him. Ok so maybe he suspects something but he can’t know… can he? How would he? The silver curse hides him completely, that's the point, no one can tell. No one should be able to recognise him for what he once was. He’s certain; Bobby might suspect but he can’t know . Someone would have to have told him and who would tell him? There’s no one who both Bobby and Eddie know, he’s just being paranoid.

Except.

Except Bobby looks at him like he’s waiting for something to happen. Why? What does he want from him? Not knowing is slowly driving him mad.

Maybe it’s “ a are you ever going to declare your feelings for my son, I demand to know your intentions” kind of f look. That would be as bad, if not worse than a “confess you’re an ex- shifter with a terminal case of indecision” look.

He doesn’t think he’s been too obvious about his feelings for Buck so it can’t really be that. Unless of course it is? He can feel his cheeks heating up at the thought, God is he making a fool of himself with his pining.

Eddie really can’t decide which situation would be worse, see terminally indecisive.

Bobby can’t know.

He can’t.

But he does. That’s what Eddie’s gut is telling him. It’s the unspoken knowledge of that which is hanging between them.

So Bobby shouldn’t know about him but he does and speaking of his boss there he is, over on the other side of the station talking to Chim. Maybe he can sense Eddie’s stress levels escalating because his head turns and his eyes find Eddie’s immediately. He gets a nod and hint of a knowing smile before Bobby turns his attention back to Chimney.

Eddie keeps his eyes on them. He’s also becoming convinced that Bobby knows that he knows about them now. Why can’t Bobby say something to him then?

But then again , why can’t he? Why is his secret trapped inside him?

What difference would it make now? Why can’t he trust his Captain with his secret, after all he trusts him everyday with his life.

Eddie sighs, hiding what he is, was, for so long has left more of a scar on him than he thought. He’d been so worried all that time in the army that he’d be discovered. Get kicked out, shamed, disgraced and court martialed. Lose the only source of income he had for his family. It’s harder to move past that than he wants it to be.

He is tempted. He would like to confide in someone, let his secret out after all this time but if he does he'll have to make other choices he’s not ready for. It’s a lot to think about. He lets himself lean against the truck for a moment mentally chastising himself to just decide. All this thinking is exhausting.

It’s particularly emotional challenging thinking about blue eyes. He’s been thinking about them a lot.

Watching from the firetruck his own much darker eyes track Buck as he practically skips across the room to bound up behind his Captain who’s talking to Chim. Buck flings his arms around his dad’s shoulders, (Eddie can’t help thinking of Bobby as his dad now even though he had no proof of that at all. It’s hardly his fault if that’s how they act all the time) Buck wraps himself there in half a hug to join the conversation.

Eddie feels like an idiot. They’re so clearly a family pack. Why didn’t he see it before?

Eddie watches and he can just imagine how Buck's blue eyes are already drifting as his attention span fails him. He waits for them to shift his way and when they do he smiles back instantly, it’s never a choice to return Buck’s smile with his whole heart.

Lost once again in blue skys or maybe it’s ocean waves Eddie hit by a fierce wave of deja vu. It’s not a surprise really he’s been looking into blue eyes that shade for a long time now.

A question hits him, rather ironically he realizes later, out of the blue. How long exactly has he been looking into those particular blue eyes?

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traayaa · 2 years ago

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Mushy May - Day Four

Love at first sight - Mountain and Rain

It's 1am. I don't know what happened. I didn't know what I wanted to do and then all of a sudden, here we are. They/Them Rain because I can.

Word count: 778

After a long day working in his greenhouse, Mountain wanted a chance to relax after a hard day. He wasn’t ready to return to the insanity that was no doubt waiting for him down in the den. Swiss and Dew had been butting heads, both trying to figure out the new pack dynamics and both had made it their mission to piss the other off as much as they could. He felt bad that Aether and Cirrus would be left to take care of it all, but he was exhausted. Tired from his day, tired from the lack of sleep Dew and Swiss were causing, tired of mediating all day, he couldn’t even get peace in the greenhouses that were usually a safe haven for him.

The lake was close by, and the light at sunset was beautiful down there, one of his favourite things to watch. He’d ventured down and got himself situated on the dock, watching the water ripple, a ripple caused by a water ghoul. It made him think of Mist and her antics in the lake. She’d dragged Mountain in on a number of occasions, both laughing while they floated around on the surface, enjoying the quiet of the lake. Mist was the one that insisted he joined her at sunset, constantly telling him about the beautiful sight and what it looked like reflected on the water. It sent an ache to his heart, she was as sweet as she was fiery and so caring. But it wasn’t her, his friend would never make the water ripple, never drag him off the dock and into the cool waters below. Mist would never again sow chaos on the abbey grounds. She had taken Dew under her wing, teaching him all of her tips and tricks on the bass but also, teaching the little gremlin her chaotic ways. It was hard not to see her in the little ghoul.

Mountain could almost make out the shape just underneath the surface, watching him, assessing, and deciding if Mountain were a friend or foe, or possibly even a snack. He would wait for the ghoul to make themself known, he could be patient, a trait well known amongst earth ghouls. Either the shy ghoul would poke their head out or Mountain would eventually leave, maybe return again another day and see if they would say hello and introduce themself. Mount lay back on the dock, stretching his long limbs out and looking up at the sky, enjoying the end of the day. The sky was splattered with different shades of oranges and pinks, it almost liked like a painting. As he sat back up, Mountain noticed the head of the water ghoul that had been watching him disappear back under the water.

“You don’t have to hide from me, I won’t bite… well, not unless you ask nicely. But I can leave if you wish me to, or you could join me up here so I could introduce myself.” He waited, watching the last spot he’d seen the other ghoul. As he was about to stand up to leave, he saw the other’s head break the surface, just enough so that a pair of stunning cerulean eyes were above the water. Mountain smiled, inviting the other to join him on the dock. Cautiously the ghoul, who Mountain recognised as the new bassist, Rain, inched his way out of the water.

As they effortlessly lifted themself out of the water and onto the edge of the dock, Mountain couldn’t help but stare. Short horns, that looked almost like sea glass only just visible through the messy tangle of wet curls, a few strands stuck to their face, those piercing cerulean eyes surrounded by long lashes, a sharp fang barely visible between lush lips. The long, lean body of the water ghoul was deceptive, looking at them one might underestimate the hidden strength of the lean muscle underneath, but Mountain knew, there was little on Earth or in the pit that could rival a water ghoul in their natural environment. The pattern of blues on their fins was captivating, something Mountain could look at forever. Tearing his gaze from the form in front of him, Mountains eyes made their way back up to meet the gaze of Rain. A pair of eyes one could get lost in for the rest of time.

Mountain thinks he’s in love with the painfully shy water ghoul in front of him. The very same water ghoul that was part of his pack and the band. He was in deep, he realised, a goofy grin appearing on his face, one that the water ghoul returned.

#traayaawrites #the band ghost #nameless ghouls #mountain ghoul #rain ghoul #mentions of mist #mentions of swiss and dew #mushy may

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keijoikawa · 1 year ago

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there’s the soft pitter patter of rain on the hotel room’s window; it’s odd and not often seen on the planet of festivities. with narrowed eyes watching the tracks that drops of rain make as they run down the window, aventurine wonders if it’s pathetic fallacy of the brunette curled up into his side or even worse, foreshadowing.

shaking his head, his eyes soften as he turns his gaze down to her. she’s remained quiet since they settled down an hour ago and he wishes he could hear what she was thinking, even if just for a moment. with a small noise, he rubs her shoulder to catch her attention. she’s sleepy, eyes half open as she tilts her head up to meet his eyes and he can’t help but smile— how didn’t he run out of all the luck in the cosmos when he snagged her?

“what are you thinking about, little bunny?” he murmurs quietly and she hums, shifting closer into his side as if she could - she’s already as close as possible. as if noticing this, aventurine’s bare hands guide her hips onto his lap, letting her tuck her head into his neck. for a moment he considers facing the consequences of backing out of the mission. would it kill him as much as leaving her would? he assumes not.

“i’m gonna miss you,” alexi mumbles finally, bumping her cold nose against his neck. aventurine finds it in him to chuckle despite the way her words tear apart his heart, “you’ll come back for me, won’t you?”

the blond goes quiet, drowning in regretful thoughts. he hadn’t told her half of what this mission really entailed, he’d merely stated that he was going away. it wasn’t a lie - he was leaving the penacony fabricated by the family, chasing after the real penacony but aventurine knew there could be a chance he doesn’t turn back. he knows there’s a chance the left side of her bed will remain empty in the dreamscape, that she’ll come back to reality with a mind full of anxiety. he knows that for the whole ordeal that aventurine collar around her neck won’t move a muscle, not unclasped once; not unless he does it for her and with him not around, she’ll refuse to take it off.

“of course i will, princess,” he finally speaks, noticing that dark blue eyes are looking up at him in worry. they glitter upon getting a response from him, “there’s a… good friend of mine currently staying on penacony that i’ve contacted in regards to keeping an eye on you until i get back so.. behave for him, okay?”

alexi nods enthusiastically but he notes how she’s fidgeting slightly, her pulse racing while his thumb drifts over her wrist. their last moment together is almost up, the clock on the wall ticking loudly in their ears as a constant reminder. aventurine curses himself mentally. she’s scared.

suddenly the brunette raises his left hand with hers, palms pressed together and aventurine furrows his brows in confusion. it wasn’t uncommon for alexi to compare their hand sizes but this wasn’t the circumstances he assumed she’d do it under, that is until her quiet voice speaks out into the hotel room.

“may the mother goddess thrice close her eyes for you,” she whispers, a sparkle in her eyes that unmistakeably are recognised as the sting of tears as aventurine’s brightly coloured eyes widen, “keeping your blood eternally pulsing.”

aventurine’s breath catches in his throat, quickly leaning forward to press his lips to hers desperately. he refuses to part their palms, his other hand gripping her hip as he tries to pull her closer— no, his luck must have run out getting someone like her, finally. the girl makes a small noise of surprise, their noses nudging each other when aventurine gets too desperate to convey just how much he loves her. he’s running out of time.

after a few seconds that leave them both lost for breath, he pulls back just the slightest, his lips still ghosting hers as he speaks, hot breath mixing with her pants for air, “may your journey be forever peaceful and your schemes forever concealed.”

despite the way tears are threatening to spill from deep sea blue eyes, alexi smiles a little, lacing the fingers of their pressed-togeher hands as she presses another kiss to his lips, less desperate and needy than his initial kiss.

when aventurine first took up this mission from diamond, he wanted an opportunity to cut free from past shackles and the ipc. he couldn’t have cared less if he returned or not, whether he was successful or not. he wanted the aventurine cornerstone’s light to die, to have some control of his life for once.

but he realises now that he does care if he returns or not. he may want to see the aventurine cornerstone dim but he will never want to see the light dim in her eyes; never want to see the day her collar comes off or see her put down his poker chip, the very one she carries everywhere with her as a good luck charm. because the more he thinks about it, that collar - and very much the young girl wearing it - are more important than his cornerstone will ever be to him.

he will return. he has to return. in the meantime, he can only pray to gaiathra triclops that she holds on for him - and that the doctor keeps his promise to take care of her in his stead.

#not proofreadin rn becuz i cried writin it :c #dis was such a bad day 2 write dis thought wahh..#⋆𐙚₊ avenlexi ˚⊹♡#vanilla swirls -`♡´-

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chronically-a-bacteriophage · 2 years ago

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The Ending of Good Omens S2: An Ineffable Analysis

So I wrote this analysis of the ending of Good Omens S2, and the duck situation... Its quite long, my apologies... Unless you like reading long essays, in which case enjoy!!

The Ducks

Before we begin, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge the ducks.

Throughout both the book and the show, there has been a running theme. Ducks. It all began back in the 1990s when Good Omens was published. Around the start of the book, Crowley attempts to use the analogy ‘Like water rolls off a duck’s back’, except he has a lapse of memory. He struggles to find the word to complete this simile. The conversation moves on after a few lines, Crowley apparently resigning to not ever reach the satisfying end of the thought. We read the next two pages and forget that anything ever happened.

DUCKS! Two pages later we are interrupted by this remark from Crowley. This short joke made it’s way into the television programme and has since become the recognised epitome of humour.

On July 28th, Good Omens Season 2 is released on Amazon Prime. In Episode 1, Crowley and Shax are seen on a bench. Crowley remarks that one should not feed bread to ducks. He is asked what, if not bread, one should feed ducks. This question is ignored.

The Ending

The Kiss

The kiss is something that lends itself to be analysed. I would like to begin by quoting part of something Mr Gaiman talked about on Tumblr. He said “I don’t think kissing scenes have much to do with love… Crowley’s kiss is about a lot of things but it's not to show they're in love: if you haven't got it by then you'll never get it.” This is vitally important to recognise, in my opinion. I do read Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship as not purely platonic: it is my belief that they are in the middle ground between a romantic and platonic relationship. The general name given to this is a Queer Platonic Relationship (a QPR for short).

FROZEN PEAS!

“Frozen peas, that’s what you should feed ducks.” Thus the joke returns, and the appreciation for ducks and duck humour is doubled. Duck!! No, seriously, duck, I’m throwing a book at you.

I agree with Gaiman. The kiss was never about romantic love. Crowley was frightened of what a world without Aziraphale would look like. He was gripped with fear about him leaving. He needed to do something that could convey to Aziraphale just how he felt, why, exactly, he could not face life without him. And they have been on earth for so long. They know how humans work, how they express love. In kissing Aziraphale, he attempted to not only remind him of humanity’s capacity for love, but to reinforce that they are on their own side. They are more human than ever before. They understand people in a way that angels and demons never will. And in showing that they are more human than them, Crowley is telling Aziraphale that the beings in heaven and hell will never understand him as well as Crowley does.

We also see evidence of this throughout their lives in other ways.

Crowley calls Aziraphale 'angel' much more frequently than is absolutely necessary. You see, it must be acknowledged that Crowley understands human culture. He instructs Shax on complex human interaction, such as sarcasm. There is no way that he does not know that ‘angel’ is a term of endearment for humans. He understands this, and uses it for perhaps that reason.

Yet there is another perspective to be looked at here. We have already seen how Crowley might use human behaviours to persuade Aziraphale, but what if in this case he is using them to remind himself of something.

It is true that Aziraphale is an angel, the literal meaning of the word. What if Crowley uses this term to remind himself that Aziraphale will always be an angel, no matter how much Crowley wants otherwise. It is a reminder to himself that despite what he may want, how far he is willing to go, Aziraphale will never stand down from his position as an angel. We have seen how they have discussed being on their own side before. It is always Crowley who initiates the idea.

Despite knowing this, despite reminding himself of the fact near-daily, he has the courage to ask once more if Aziraphale will leave them for him. And Aziraphale says no. We see the pain on both of their faces as they realise the real implications of him saying no. And we must remember that this is not the first time Crowley has asked this of Aziraphale. He knew that there was a real chance of him saying no: he has said it before. Yet that time Aziraphale denied him because he wanted to save earth, he was on humanity’s side. This time? This time Aziraphale is saying no so that he can go back to heaven’s side.

"You could be an angel.... my second in command."

The heartbreak and pain they, Crowley especially, must be feeling is ineffable. Crowley laid his heart bare for Aziraphale. He dared to hope, to be optimistic, and it didn’t work. How will this affect him in the future? Will he allow himself to be vulnerable again? I don’t think so. It will take Aziraphale apologising, coming back and confessing too, to let Crowley be vulnerable again. But even then, will that be enough? Only time and Mr Gaiman will tell.

Aziraphale’s Point

After watching Season 2, and having our hearts broken by Aziraphale, it is all too easy to put the blame on him. But honestly? I think he has a point.

Crowley explicitly states “We don’t need heaven. We don’t need hell. They’re toxic!” And while it is true that they don’t need them, the rest of the world is deeply affected by them. Aziraphale understands this, Crowley, however, does not.

I’m not entirely sure what Crowley’s stance on saving the world is, but it’s certainly not the same as Aziraphale’s. Crowley has shown that he has a tendency to run away from the big problems. He suggests going to Alpha Centauri instead of preventing the apocalypse in S1, and again in the infamous S2 ending. So given this information, we must call into question who is correct.

Aziraphale is technically the person trying to achieve the best outcome for the most people. He is going to be in charge of heaven, and believes that he can make a difference in the system, even if it means sacrificing his own happiness and life with Crowley. (Whether or not this will actually be the case is yet to be seen, but I am going to discuss a little further into that later.) He wants to use the new position to do actual good, not the ‘Good’ heaven is obsessed with. We could read Crowley’s actions as selfish: he is potentially sacrificing the lives of everyone on earth so that he can be with Aziraphale. In fact, we see him acknowledge that that may well be the fate of the earth: “Earth will be just as dead if heaven causes it as it would be if hell did.” (or something to that effect).

Is Crowley being selfish here, or just pessimistic? Perhaps he is wanting to leave Earth so that he doesn’t have to worry about that, leaving the humans at the mercy of the wills of the powers up above and down below. But equally, perhaps he truly believes that nothing can be done, and so is faced with the choice of going away with Aziraphale or being subjected to whatever hell will do with him after the second coming. Good Omens has taught us that there is no black and white, just shades of grey. Therefore, I cannot be an absolutist about who is in the wrong. However, I also feel that it has taught us to hope, to believe in the possibility so we can act in the best way possible.

I think that Aziraphale is right to want to make change. He has an opportunity here, given to him by the Metatron, to do something to prevent the second coming. He is not running away, and is sacrificing his own happiness to do what he believes is best.

But beneath all that, the part of me that just wants them to live happily ever in a QPR as soon as possible is inordinately angry at him for not running away with Crowley. The message? Saving the world is important but I need you to be happy.

Aziraphale’s Communication

Whilst I mostly agree with Aziraphale’s motivations, some time must be spent analysing his communication. There are many problems with it, and I think when analysed it will bring to light some of the more nuanced and less good parts of why he chose this path.

There is a moment where Crowley states that he said no to hell, and Aziraphale responds with “Well of course you did. You’re the bad guys”. I think that this line really speaks to the way that Aziraphale sees the world still. He uses the word ‘you’re’, not ‘they’re’. He still sees himself and Crowley on opposite sides of the line. After all of their conversations about the nuance of good and bad, how they are on their side, this idea is still entrenched in Aziraphale’s thinking. Let’s take a second here to think about the future.

For a proper character development, we need to see Aziraphale overcome this. He has been pretty stagnant in his character throughout the story so far. We saw Crowley undergo some significant development in that final episode. He finally admitted his feelings, and spoke about what was actually on his mind. So we know that they are both on a character arc. Surely Aziraphale will have a moment like this? There was not one in S1 or 2, therefore it is safe to assume that this will come in S3. I think that in S3 we will see Aziraphale finally recognise that the structural Good and Bad is not the right way of looking at things, and this will lead to a character change that will allow him to do what he must to stop the second coming.

Aziraphale also doesn’t lead the conversation with the fact that he can make a difference. He leads it with “We can be together, in heaven. It can be just like old times, except nicer”. There’s a lot to unpack in this line. To Crowley, ‘nice’ has never been something he aspires to be, at least not openly. He seems to despise the idea of ‘nice’, as evidenced by “I’m not nice. I’m never nice. Nice is a four letter word.” He has also just shown that he does not want things to go back to the way they were before, which Aziraphale seems to have not listened to. In this scene, Aziraphale seems to fundamentally misunderstand where Crowley is coming from. He does not address anything that Crowley says, apart from perhaps “Oh Crowley, nothing lasts forever.”. But even in this he comes across as a little dismissive, and maybe a little patronising? And it still doesn’t address Crowley’s proposition.

There is the question of whether or not Aziraphale is really in control of his actions in this scene. The Coffee Theory suggests that the Metatron drugged the coffee that he offered to Aziraphale, making him obey him. However, this is not my belief. To say that Aziraphale is not in control of himself here is to misunderstand the conversations he and Crowley have previously had, and to undermine his character. Yet, I do not think that he was aware of everything the Metatron was doing.

The Metatron

We are first introduced to the Metatron in S2 when Crowley is looking at the records in heaven. He is introduced as someone more concerned with the appearance of heaven than how it is actually run. We see him as cruel, and unmoving in his positions.

The next time we see him on screen is when he enters the bookshop, having just ordered a coffee. He interrupts the conversation without introduction, immediately asserting authority. No one, apart from two characters, appears to recognise him. This is intriguing because the archangels should have known who he was. Why this is, I do not know.

Two characters appear to recognise the Metatron. The first is Saraqeal. This is not confirmed, but judging by the lack of shock and indignation contrasted with their other angelic counterparts, we can assume that they do recognise him. Neil Gaiman said on Tumblr: “Paul Chahidi wasn't available when we were shooting. It was a pity. We had some secret things for Sandalphon to do. Saraqael did some of those things, and not others.” What are those secret things, we must ask ourselves? Is one of those the recognition we see from Saraqeal? And what will these secret things mean?

The other character is Crowley. The Metatron asks him directly who he thinks he is, and Crowley answers correctly. This is very interesting for a few reasons. Why does the Metatron ask Crowley of all people? Perhaps to establish power - he knows who knows who he is, he is proving his omniscience so as not to be questioned later. And how does he know that Crowley knows?

Anyhow, I digress. The point is that from the moment he walks in, he establishes his power and makes everyone else feel shameful. As a person who is admired by the angels, this is an interesting move to make. It makes the angels feel as though they have slighted him in some way, and so will feel compelled to make it up to him - remember that Aziraphale is an angel too (we established this previously in the essay). He then reinforces the idea that they have done something wrong by demanding the archangels leave, but keeping the lowest angel present. This makes the archangel Uriel question if they have done anything wrong, and the Metatron purposefully gives a vague answer so as to maintain power. This display of power is interesting because it is not the people he is exerting power over who are his target. His target is Aziraphale.

The aforementioned tactic is done to impress his power into Aziraphale. His intention is that Aziraphale will feel less power because of this, therefore more willing to do as instructed. The Metatron’s next manipulation tactic is to ignore Crowley. He knows Crowley is not one to stick to the rules (“Ah, well, always did want to go his own way. Always asking damn fool questions, too.”), and will likely help Aziraphale see the truth. The Metatron needs Aziraphale to be convinced before Crowley can tamper with his plan. Therefore, he ignores Crowley, both making Aziraphale feel more important, and making Crowley feel less powerful. He then removes Airaphale from Crowley and onto neutral ground. This is a known technique in manipulation. The conversation then ensues in the restaurant across the road.

During this, the Metatron describes the characteristics he sees in Aziraphale that would make him a good replacement for Gabriel. This flattery is intriguing because they are not characteristics necessarily seen in Aziraphale. He then pulls out the Crowley card, saying Aziraphale could reinstate him. He obviously knows about their relationship, and so is trying to assure Aziraphale that he can still have everything he wants, yet if he knows that then surely he will know Crowley’s response. The Metatron is giving Aziraphale false hope so as to convince him to join him in heaven.

The thing that I think is most vital to understand is that Aziraphale never explicitly says yes. Infact, at the end of the conversation Aziraphale asks for more time to think it through, which is answered with a ‘yes, of course’, yet followed with a ‘Why don’t you go and tell him the good news?’. This is a way of making the manipulated feel as though it was their idea, that they said yes, whilst in reality it was the manipulator all along.

The final straw is how he enters after the ‘breakup’ scene. Crowley walks out, and Aziraphale’s life is left in tatters. After this scene, he is left the most vulnerable and broken we have ever seen him. And that insidious Metatron walks in and acts as if Aziraphale had the moral upperhand. After all that hurt and pain, the Metatron is the one to bring some comfort, to pat Aziraphale’s back and say “Ah, well, he always did want to go his own way.”. Of course Aziraphale is going to follow him now, he has given Aziraphale an opportunity he almost couldn’t resist before, and now the main thing that tied him to Earth is gone. And the Metatron knew EXACTLY what he was doing. He knew that Aziraphale saying all this to Crowley once he’s been mostly convinced would be enough to tear them apart. He knew their weaknesses and exploited them in order to get exactly what he wanted.

So we know that the Metatron manipulated Aziraphale - the evidence is blatantly there - but the question is why? Every manipulator has a goal, what is the Metatron’s? To answer this is to speculate about Season 3.

Why?

The Metatron manipulated Aziraphale into getting him exactly where he wanted him to be. But the question is why? Aziraphale is not the obedient servant he would find in Micheal, Uriel, Saraqeal, or Sandalphon, nor is he as easy to get on side. The Metatron knows that he has knowingly gone against the will of god before, and so why is he deciding to reinstate him, higher than before?

I think that the Metatron is afraid. He knows about the partnership between Crowley and Aziraphale, we have already established that, but why might this be a threat to him?

We saw the power of the miracle with Gabriel, it was enough to raise someone from the dead 25 times. And Crowley acknowledges that this is likely because it was performed by both of them, together. And the Metatron is scared by this, of what the ineffable husbands can do together. And so he orchestrates a way to separate them. The idea of keeping your friends close but your enemies closer is pertinent here. If he is as threatened as it is made out that he is, then having Aziraphale directly beneath him at all times might just protect him.

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