#Him keeping a distance from prisoners but also feeling no real desire for personal relationships?

[invre]

Headcanon; post-canon, Mithrun stayed in the Canaries lodging for a while — his squad were happy for that, and none moreso than Pattadol who worries a fair bit about him living alone. But, ultimately, he got his own place in Melini once everyone else had moved on as well.

Despite being from a noble family and having connections to both his brother and the new King, he saw little reason to pull said strings. It probably was suggested by Pattadol and maybe also Cithis that having live-in servants might be beneficial, but he declined. Having a large home and servants felt no different than the lodging quarters, so what was the point? He would only be there periodically, anyway.

Mithrun has a simple house in Melini with a fairly large garden. It's an average sized house, primarily built from wood— the one thing he did accept help on was having it furnished/decorated, because it would have been the same to him if he had nothing besides a mattress to sleep on— and everyone seemed bothered by that idea. It's actually quite a nice space, now. The garden is mostly made up of flowers and a few fruit/vegetable patches, though none of it is Mithrun's doing. It was all left from the previous owners.

His home is cozy, to a degree, but it does feel slightly... Impersonal. When visiting his brother for the first time post-canon, he had given Mithrun two boxes full of his personal affects from before he joined the Canaries. Books, jewellery, photo frames, and so on. Those boxes were brought back to Melini, but they're just sitting there gathering dust.

That said, one photo that does hang on his wall — a moving-in surprise, courtesy of those who helped him decorate — is a framed picture of their squad, the official photo they all took together when initially assigned. They all look morose or pissed-off, for the most part, but they're together. Despite their circumstances (and clashing personalities), they did spend a lot of time together and a strange kinship appeared to have formed. He does look at that photo sometimes.

[noobsomeexagerjunk]

Big Q’s Big Plans & Big Lore

So, I felt the need to rewatch the stream where Bad tries to get Quackity under the Egg’s influence, just so I could see whether the land Quackity pointed at was being alluded to as the same place where his upcoming lore would be involved

I mean, it was obvious

(That trail isn’t the most accurate but I tried)

I’ve been thinking about Quackity and Bad’s conversation throughout that stream, particularly when Quackity asks Bad to pay particularly close attention to a specific parcel of land

It made me think: what does Quackity have or know that can prove resistant against the Crimson Egg?

Because Quackity gathered sufficient (at the time) information about the Egg’s needs and wants, and considered this “Vegas” (as hinted) plan as a means to get in Bad/the Egg’s way.

Now, since that conversation, we learned a lot more about the Egg that I wager Quackity has no idea about unless he proves otherwise. (Don’t get me started on the implications of the Egg claiming Hannah and Sam, holy shit so many things would go wrong if this happened.)

Based on what we know about the Egg, let’s try to gather what we know about Quackity’s future build (keep in mind that list may be incomplete as apparently Quackity spills shit in his twitter alt and I refuse to get twitter):

• it’s located a particular distance away

• clearly finished enough in construction for it to be considered hidden from the map

• will be used as a means for Quackity to get incredibly rich

• is intended to get in the way of the Eggpire

• is alluded to be akin to a business, like Vegas, and has been referred to as a casino

• may contain a pyramid with a beacon, like the one in the real Las Vegas

• is tied to Awesamdude’s future bank

• has been going on from possibly as early as after Doomsday, which was the 6th of January, and was capable of being revealed as early as March 1 (but was clearly moved due to lore events involving Tommy dying) but has not been revealed yet

• Quackity hired builders for this thing, so it’s clearly huge

Right now, based on what we know, I have absolutely no confidence that this place could resist the Egg’s influence. I wager that it would enhance it, actually. 

My theory is that Quackity is clearly creating a business-esque structure reliant on, from what I gathered from his conversation with Bad, people’s personal attachments. These attachments, however, boil down to personal property. This is money and assets we’re talking about here. If he’s doing all this shit alone, I feel that the Egg will find some way to take advantage of this.

I mean, have you seen the members of the Eggpire? 

• Two (or three, if you count Skeppy despite inactivity) belong to the Badlands, one of the richest factions on the server. 

• Punz, a mercenary who would do literally anything, even get rid of his dignity, for money, is an Egghead. 

• Ponk, who is known for scamming, stealing, pranking, and is involved with a real estate business is also an Egghead. 

• Special mention for Purpled, owner of said real estate business, who is affiliated with the Eggpire by paid service—this same kid, this Technoblade-esque rich, equipped, and skilled child? He has Quackity’s level of negotiation and paranoia around people! They are ideal casino patrons and they all have ties to the Crimson Egg.

It's remembering how the Egg got everyone in the Tale of the Masquerade, taking advantage of everyone’s desire to become rich.

It’s remembering that majority of the server are going through arcs of healing—those who lost significant amounts of property are starting businesses and services (if not new bases, houses, or etc.) to bide time and to recuperate personal losses.

I mean, Bad knows where this is. If Bad knows, then the Egg knows too. Quackity cannot avoid the Egg forever. We all remember what happened to Foolish, right?

If Quackity’s protection is not within his build, or is not directly related from the build, he would need protection via involvement in arcs that he more or less should have involvement in.

The Resurrection Arc is an arc several people are involved in, he himself included. Quackity has expressed desires for Dream’s death, as well as supposed knowledge of resurrection in order to revive Schlatt. This knowledge Dream possesses is why he is in Pandora’s Vault and is why the Prison Arc ties so closely with the Resurrection Arc, not to mention Tommy dying and resurrecting within Dream’s cell.

Jschlatt’s ties to death come from being the source of knowledge on resurrection, hell, he’s the reason Dream has that knowledge. Jschlatt is also dead himself, and Glatt exists. Schlatt’s business with Connor in SMPLive is canon in his and Connor’s arcs, not to mention both individuals in question expressing desires related to business and money. 

Connor is also being hinted as heavily involved with the resurrection arc as well, demonstrating an independent knowledge and attempts at learning necromancy as well as a desire to “cure mortality” and revive Schlatt, for the personal desire to curb his loneliness. Connor has quite the habit associating with dead people as well, namely having interacted with Wilbur/Ghostbur a few times. Some of his most notable moments with Tommy both involve Tommy’s return from the dead, i.e., the hostage situation (presumed death) and the literal exit from Pandora’s Vault (actual death).

Connor’s link to the Prison Arc so far has been expressing beliefs in prison reform (and I know this doesn’t count, but the Nether Portal mishap he had comes to mind, which can count as an argument for in-lore, in-universe prison reform).

Quackity’s relationship with Schlatt is known to be both political and romantic (and depending on how you believe “Quackity gave birth to the Mexican L’Manburg/El Rapids dirt landmass,” as well as “Mpreg exists in the Dream SMP,” also sexual). Schlatt died before the two could have any proper closure. If Eret’s discovery is actually accidentally discovered lore, which I believe to be the case, we may get that closure soon, and it will in some way direct Quackity’s choices concerning the Vegas build.

In regards to Quackity’s relationships are his future husbands Karl Jacobs and Sapnap, both with connections to larger arcs.

Let’s start with Karl and his time traveling through the In-Between. Man created Kinoko to relocate his library and establish a place for him and his friends. The library is in some way a piece of history Karl himself keeps as well.

Karl’s time traveling linked him to the Egg arc via the Masquerade, to arguably the Resurrection arc with Connor (who is presumed a time traveler as well) and Ponk (whose lore contributions tie to The Village that Went Mad and Foolish), and the general overall history of the SMP that ties into the narrative importance of the Prison arc (as demonstrated in The Lost City of Mizu and to some degree The Haunted Mansion). Quackity has no idea what Karl is doing, but is narratively linked to people who would know. *cough* Connor *cough*

Sapnap’s arc so far ties him to Kinoko (and previously El Rapids), reiterating how important his friends and fiances are to him. In light of that is his connection to the Prison Arc as a person who had close relationships with Dream in the past. His prison visits and knowledge of Ranboo’s connections with Dream, as well as any established friendship with Tommy keeps him tied. He and Quackity have shown good friendship with Tommy in canon and would be happy to kill Dream if they had to.

I’m thinking that if Quackity wants to resist the Egg through his own singular efforts, maybe his involvement in other arcs would do things for him first. He’s still mistrusting of others and he is still paranoid. He can benefit from help, most especially from his friend circle and their connections.

[subwalls]

CONFRONTATION. || DreamSMP 

An analysis on Ranboo’s January 30th stream, meant to pick apart c!Ranboo’s complex relationship with reality and the voices in his head. This will be broken up into three (3) parts: introduction, stream analysis, and conclusion.

cw unreality, derealization, etc.

INTRODUCTION.

Before we start, I want to make clear that this is just my personal reading of the stream’s events, and as such it may not be the same as yours, and that’s okay! Critical reading is all about how one work can be viewed through a variety of lenses to yield very different conclusions, and the validation of one does not immediately mean all the others are Bad and Wrong.

We all got that? Cool.

Now, a common theory being tossed around at the moment is the idea that the entire stream was a dream (ha) or hallucination. This possibility is somewhat backed up by a few observations I will point out in the rest of this post, but for the sake of seriously dissecting this dream into truths and untruths, I will not be assuming that everything that happened was fake. I’ll delve a little deeper into why this theory doesn’t completely convince me in the conclusion, too.

STREAM ANALYSIS.

Aw yeah, here comes the frame-by-frame analysis of 41 minutes of footage.

... Well, kinda. Let’s start with a play-by-play instead of a frame-by-frame, yeah? 

At 2:45 into the stream, Ranboo starts out in the panic room, looking at the “You are fine” sign. He says that Sam told him he can visit Dream (”him”) today, and reflects on the fact that he’s no longer looking for clarity or confrontation (me, looking at the stream title: uh,) but rather to make Dream think about what he did.

“He deserves to know what he did.” (Ranboo at 3:47)

“I’m gonna tell him what those thoughts are.” (Ranboo at 3:55, which is an... interesting remark, seeing as the voice in his head that sounds like Dream has been trying to tell Ranboo what his thoughts are. But it doesn’t mean anything substantial.)

Vibe check so far? REAL. Nothing appears to be out of place in the panic room. Ranboo is nervous but keeping it together and talking himself through it. Sounds great!

After a bit of psyching himself up (and noticeably declaring his memory book to be the only one that hasn’t been tampered with), Ranboo starts towards the prison. He’s scared and doesn’t know why, but he’s gonna do it.

One thing of note is that he passes by Sam Nook’s construction site, and the place’s big map sign thing never quite loads in properly. The whole thing just stays black. Suspicious, but those maps are honestly kinda glitchy at loading in anyway because they’re entities instead of blocks. Or maybe Sam Nook’s doing some prep. (Edit: more likely is that this is a clone of the Dream SMP server for the sake of what they’re about to do to the prison, and it doesn’t have the map plugin, so all the picture maps in the world are broken.)

As the prison comes into view, he continues talking to himself (he’s never been to prison, apparently; he’s been inside Pandora’s Vault before, but not as a prisoner). He thinks about the fact that he could get rid of Dream if he wanted to, but no, he couldn’t. 

The prison entrance portal is actually already lit. Ranboo isn’t sure what he’s supposed to do but eventually hits the button.

After quite a bit of waiting, Sam eventually greets him (13:32) and invites him to step into the portal. Ranboo goes through the portal and appears in a warped forest biome.

This is incredibly suspicious. The prison’s nether portal is supposed to be a customized portal in six (6) layers of obsidian that floats over a sea of lava. In fact—and I will come back to fix this if I’m mistaken—I’m pretty sure the portal resides in the fringes of a basalt delta, not a warped forest. You can see a bit of a basalt delta poking over the warped fungi in the distance, but Ranboo is very clearly in the wrong spot. 

So why the warped forest, the wrong biome and the wrong portal? It probably has something to do with the fact that Ranboo is part enderman, and enderman live in the warped forest. With the End forbidden and unknown (seeing as Techno and Phil had no idea what an End Portal was), the warped forest is likely the closest thing endermen as a species can call home in the Dream SMP.

Anyway. This is the earliest instance of either a brief hallucination or Ranboo losing his connection to reality altogether.

Ranboo goes through the portal when instructed to by Sam and properly appears in the prison’s interior portal, facing Sam at his warden’s... desk thing. Sam has Mining Fatigue right now, by the way, as seen by the particles. Ranboo is then teleported to Sam (14:20) for some reason (maybe because, behind the scenes, he was in a duped prison portal in order to make the warped forest thing happen), appearing to be inside Sam’s space before he moves back out. They do not acknowledge this.

Sam does the same series of questions to Ranboo that he did to Tommy. Ranboo says that he has not come to the prison before or even spoke to Dream before, and expresses to Sam his desire to bring his memory book along. Sam agrees on the condition that he holds onto it during the way there.

Side note: Ranboo does not get Mining Fatigue until he’s already inside the prison and being questioned. (14:47) This is quite different from the timing when Tommy got Mining Fatigue in his visit, but considering the fact that we don’t know the placement of the elder guardians or even how many there are, this could just be natural variation...

Anyway, Ranboo does the same thing we saw Tommy do with the locker and the examinations and whatever, except that Sam is... more cordial. Nicer. This is vaguely suspicious, but he’s been a little softer since his encounter with the Crimson and he has a clear soft spot for the kids. Tommy also is very different from the clearly nervous Ranboo (Sam points out that Ranboo is nervous later on, around 20:01, so he definitely noticed), so he could have just been being nice to the poor traumatized kid... Or maybe this is just a Sam constructed from Ranboo’s memories of a nice person, and not the real one. It’s not very clear but could be swayed in either direction.

One odd thing—Ranboo took quite a bit to die to the harming potions, and I feel like Tommy died faster, but I’ll have to check. It’s as though Ranboo got Harming I instead of Harming II? Sam even comments that it “took a minute” (19:12). Also, Ranboo loses his levels in this process, so, uh, if his next stream he appears with levels, that means there’s something happening that we ain’t seeing.

A skeleton dies somewhere offscreen lmao.

Ranboo is immediately re-inflicted with Mining Fatigue every time he dies, by the way, so they’re definitely within range of the elder guardians.

Ranboo endures the water section of the trip and it sucked but he seems about the same level of nervous as before, so. Sam takes the time to reassure him and give him the memory book at the last step before the cell itself.

“He [Dream] shouldn’t misbehave, he knows what happens when he does.” (Sam at 25:23, he still got that bit of ruthless warden in him.)

Vibe check again—this prison, physically speaking? Seems real. It’s possible that Ranboo could be drawing on memories from his other self, but considering that he has never been to the prison before, the fact that the prison is the exact same as the real prison that Tommy went to seems to indicate that this is a real experience. 

Ranboo’s Mining Fatigue gets refreshed, so looks like the elder guardians reach here too. Dream has the Mining Fatigue particles as soon as he comes into view. (Only pointing this out because it notably took Dream a long time to get Mining Fatigue back when Tommy visited him.)

A weird sound happens at 27:31. Not sure what that’s about.

The lava curtain comes back down, and Ranboo turns around to see Dream. His screen shakes a bit as he turns, which could be anything from lag (there’s a lot of lava moving right now) to nerves (both in-character and out). (Edit: confirmed in the chill stream following that he was just nervous, and feeling his character’s nervousness.) First thing of note, here: the item frame holding the clock on the wall is transparent. This is a texture pack thing, presumably—could be the same thing that fucked up the construction site’s map sign earlier, maybe it’s even just the texture pack that some members of the SMP have installed for the chess thing—but it’s still something to notice. 

Dream greets Ranboo with quite a bit of joy and energy, and says it’s not a surprise for Ranboo to visit, and altogether makes numerous implications that he and Ranboo’s other self have been conversing a lot in the times that Ranboo doesn’t remember. 

“We’re best friends, right?” (Dream at 28:19, and I better not see any serious remarks about gaslighting here Dream is actually telling the truth, he just has not realized that this Ranboo doesn’t remember their conversations.)

“I’ve probably talked to you more than I’ve talked to anybody on the entire server.” (Dream at 28:27, indignant at Ranboo’s claim that they’ve barely talked, which. Yeah. I mean this whole thing could be a lie or fake but... I don’t know, I’m not convinced.)

Ranboo, whose understanding of his relationship to Dream is very different from Dream’s apparent understanding of their relationship, claims that Dream is just trying to scare him. Dream sounds confused and asks, “Why are you acting different?” (28:45) so he’s definitely not had dealings with this (awake?) Ranboo, but rather the... other set of memories.

“Ooooh.” (Dream at 28:56, which I think marks the moment he realizes that this is the other Ranboo, and it isn’t the one that he normally speaks with.)

Dream continues to say that he’s glad that Ranboo’s come to visit, that Ranboo’s been a great helping hand, and Ranboo immediately accuses him of somehow knowing about the whole panic room situation, and after Ranboo declares that he’s not going to let Dream trick him into thinking that he did those things—

“But you did do those things.” (Voice at 29:36)

Voice is always fake; it’s not “real” (audible by anyone else), and it’s not Dream.

Kudos to cc!Dream, by the way, his tone audibly changes when he switches into Ranboo’s Voice. This, I believe, is the turning point of the stream. The Voice returns, marked by the tone difference from c!Dream and also by the constant referral to Dream in the third person. 

Now, here’s the interesting thing. The Voice claims that the reason why it went away is because Dream was put in prison and thus they haven’t been talking as much, which leads to Ranboo forgetting how Dream sounds like and thus robbing Voice of that, well, voice. (29:58) The implication here is that the reason behind Dream’s voice being the Voice of the “other” in Ranboo’s head is because the other just talks to Dream a lot. 

Ranboo questions the third person thing, asking if he’s gone insane in prison, and there’s a pause, and then Dream says, “You’re right, you’re right. Yes, yes, there’s not much to do here.” (30:20) The tone shift is a little more subtle here, but the way Dream responded—it’s like he was responding to something else. “Have you gone insane” doesn’t usually lead to “You’re right”, because that’s a question, not a statement. 

We’re real again, folks. But only briefly. Actually, it sounds like real Dream has been talking to someone while Ranboo was talking with his Voice, and when Ranboo heard him again, he was mid-conversation. Dream may have been speaking with that other Ranboo and we as the audience and Ranboo simply couldn’t hear.

Dream apparently doesn’t like his clock (30:32), and then prompts Ranboo to see what he’s been writing. In suspiciously good timing, we hear the elder guardian’s curse go off again to refresh Mining Fatigue, and then Dream hands Ranboo a book.

Here, the unreality really sets in.

The book is named Do not read. (30:47) It is a precise copy of Ranboo’s memory book, and when Ranboo checks Dream’s chest full of books, they are all named Do not read. and have the same contents. What appears to be real Dream invites him to look through them, and as Ranboo panics over this, what appears to be the Voice rather than c!Dream tells Ranboo that he needs “to face the truth” (31:18).

Ranboo says the truth is that Dream is a terrible person who hurt others.

The Voice says the truth is that Ranboo helped “me”. (31:35) Now, I can’t tell if this is a slip of the tongue on cc!Dream’s part or on the Voice’s part, but he does correct himself and say “Dream” after, so take that how you will. 

At this point, the Dream on the screen’s body language starts to match up with the Voice (moving while it talks), and the Voice claims “I’m not even Dream,” which lines up with its prior claims that it is just another part of Ranboo. 

Ranboo tries to rationalize the situation, assuming that the real Dream is speaking right now, but the Voice refers to Ranboos memories in the first person (“I know what I went through because I’m you,” 32:01), reinforces the fact that “you” (Ranboo) use to talk with Dream every day, and the only reason the Voice stopped happening is because he couldn’t picture Dream’s voice after not speaking with him since Dream went to prison. 

“He [Dream] would tell you [Ranboo] things to do. You were like his little... servant.” (Voice at 32:24)

Ranboo refuses this, the Voice continues to insist that he did help Dream, Ranboo asks why he doesn’t remember, and Voice says that he does; the Voice remembers, and the Voice is Ranboo. 

And then the Voice says, “I’m not even real,” and the Dream on screen vanishes. 

We don’t see a logout message on screen, but Ranboo isn’t in f1, so Dream probably either /tp’d somewhere OR switched to spectator mode. Ranboo suddenly gets the Nausea effect, panics and looks at the chest and says that he got rid of the voice, but the obsidian starts falling (gravity applied to the cell, hope they have a backup of the server to rollback to or let themselves use creative lmao) which unveils some details in the Pandora’s Vault inner chamber that I’d love to dissect but not now, and then Ranboo "hits the ground too hard” and dies.

Of note: Ranboo’s death screen is not vanilla. The word “Died” is capitalized where it shouldn’t be, and even though Ranboo lost his levels dying on the way in, his score is 206810. I bet that’s a code for something but I have no idea what for.

(I typed 206810 into my search bar and got a hex code for green. Yeah. Darker than what you’d associate with Dream, but... green.)

And then we have morse code crown and smiley that’s supposed to say “not free yet” or something but apparently there’s other translations because cc!Ranboo might’ve hecked it up a little bit. Oops.

But yeah, there you go! That’s the stream.

Not once does Ranboo press tab, by the way. Something makes me think that that might be because they’re not on the real Dream SMP—also to, you know, avoid having to rebuild the prison.

CONCLUSION.

I do think the prison visit is real at first. Ranboo falls in and out of contact with reality, and the warped forest is definitely fishy, but the layout of the prison is too precisely accurate to be wholeheartedly dreamed up. He’s never been there before, after all, and Sam doesn’t correct him—which could mean that Sam is fake and Ranboo is drawing on those other memories, but we never see Ranboo use memories he doesn’t have, he just acts on emotions and feelings that his other self seems to have.

So, the moments that are “real” are Ranboo walking to the prison, through the prison, and the first part of his talk with Dream. He clips back into reality just in time for Dream to show him a book, which immediately pops Ranboo back into the land of hallucinations, because there’s no way Dream has so many copies of the real memory book when he’s been isolated in his cell this entire time. The warped forest was probably a hallucination born of Ranboo’s enderman (sleepwalking) half being nervous, since Ranboo said he was nervous but couldn’t pinpoint why; it was probably that other side. Still don’t know why he’d be nervous though, when it seems like Dream’s happy to see him. 

The room caving in and Dream disappearing are fake. I think it’s symbolic of the other side forcing Ranboo to black out in order to have a conversation with Dream that isn’t being interrupted by the awake self. Who knows where and how Ranboo is going to wake up next time, honestly. Or even if he’ll remember the visit at all.

Oh, and I really doubt this costed a canon life. There’s some very funky implications if it does, but I’ll only get into that if we get a confirmed life lost.

Again, the Voice is not Dream but instead is the side of Ranboo that actually remembers the supposedly “bad” things he did at Dream’s behest. Interestingly, Dream calls them besties, but the Voice sounds almost... scornful and refers to Ranboo as Dream’s little servant. Sure tells you how fucked up c!Dream’s definition of a friend is, huh?

Speaking of c!Dream, here’s an interesting thought: sleepwalking Ranboo only speaks Ender, as shown by his attempts to communicate with Philza. So, assuming that sleepwalking Ranboo is the “other” Ranboo that remembers things, he probably couldn’t have visited the prison, because he couldn’t organize a visit time with Sam, because that would require speaking Player.

However. He used to speak with Dream on a regular basis.

Which means Dream speaks (or at least understands) Ender. This would also explain why the Voice manifests as Dream’s; it’s the only other voice that understands the tongue it uses.

I’ve got a lot of thoughts about Pandora’s Vault because we got a little sneak peek at some of the redstone behind those obsidian walls when the room started caving in, but that’s for later. Hope this was helpful to... I dunno, anyone? I’ll probably come back and add/edit things as needed.

[justalarryblog]

💮Thank You, Daddy by @recklessandbrave (10k) | Explicit

Harry’s hot, wet mouth is around him before Louis even has the chance to blink, and it feels so good, the icy sting of the frozen dessert disappearing as Harry’s soft tongue laps it up. After Harry swallows, he pulls off the head of Louis’ cock and then dips down to trail his tongue up the shaft, collecting the bits that dribbled down. “Yummy. Thank you, daddy.” He hums pleasantly.

Or the one where Louis gets an idea, and Harry wears panties

Part 2 of Pastel

💮Teacher Kinks by @Ecila (3k) | Explicit

AU in which Louis is Harry’s teacher, but he really doesn’t care. He fucks Harry and Harry enjoys it.

It’s graphic. Mainly just about their sex.

Part 6 of One-Shots

💮When I hear your cries, praying for life. (I will be there) by @brokenbeauty (5k) | Explicit

Well, I figured we needed Larry birthday sex, soooo….. ;))))

hop hop hop by orphan_account (3k) | Explicit

Suddenly, Harry’s slipping down his jeans, and Louis gasps as he’s met with a very unexpected but delicious sight. A mass of fur nestles between Harry’s cheeks, matching with the pink of the inner part of his bunny ears.

Or, the one in which Harry wears bunny ears and a bunny butt plug and Louis proceeds to fuck him.

💮St. Austin’s School for Boys by @domtommo, @winsomefreak (100k) | Explicit

St. Austin’s School for Boys is a correction school for young men that uses corporal punishment as their means of discipline. After one too many infractions, Harry Styles is sent there till graduation. Upon arriving Harry meets his dorm advisor who also happens to be the first year sex-education teacher and footie coach, Louis Tomlinson. Harry falls in absolute adoration for the teacher and is all too ready to drop down onto his knees for him. During his stay he learns some very interesting things about himself… Welcome to St. Austin’s School for Boys, where the hallways are filled with love, drama, and sex.

Part 1 of St. Austin’s School for Boys

💮Change My Mind by @larry_love13 (155k) | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis was a devout Christian family man with a wife and ten kids who lived a seemingly happy and idyllic life in Oklahoma. He always felt something was missing but he could never figure out what until he met Harry Styles, who made him question every single value he’d ever held dear, including his relationship to God AND his marriage. Harry, a devoutly religious young college student struggling with his own family and personal issues turned to Louis for guidance. They both end up learning a lot about themselves, each other, and their religion as they change a few minds-including their own-during their journey.

💮it’s kinda hot in here by @ballsdeepinjesus (3k) | Explicit

“Is that a moth on your stomach?”

or nerdy harry is hiding some stuff under his dorky clothes and louis fucks him in a locker room

💮jump in the deep end by @istajmaal (4k) | Explicit

Louis’s stomach lurches as he closes the last bit of distance, Harry’s nose settling between his arse cheeks and pushing them apart. Harry’s lips brush against the puckered skin around Louis’s hole in a kiss and Louis lets out a whine so high-pitched he barely recognizes it as coming from himself—what if I’m not clean enough, what if Harry hates it, what if Harry pushes me away—but then Harry’s long, wet tongue swoops in a circle around Louis’s rim and Louis feels like all the breath is knocked out of him. He grabs for Harry’s hand, still digging into his thigh, and squeezes over it, until Harry releases his vice grip on Louis’s thigh and laces his fingers through Louis’s.

or, Louis’s arse is a sensitive subject, so Harry approaches it gently. With his tongue.

💮I’ll Crash Until You Notice Me by @stylinsoncity (61k) | Mature

Louis sets off to Barbados to oversee the massive resort his family owns known as Sandy Hill. For years, he’s been looking for a change in the monotony of his life, seeking adventure and perhaps love too. What he doesn’t expect is the bright eyed boy who spills a milkshake on his shoes.

Cue the summer loving.

💮Bloodline by @banana_louis (177k) | Explicit

Louis doesn’t know how to feel when his best friend, Liam, finds out about a brother that he never knew, who was placed for adoption before he was born and is bursting into his life at twenty-four years old.

Louis is very wary of the man who might replace him. He has always thought of Liam as his own brother.

What if Liam doesn’t need him anymore? What if there’s no room for Louis? After all, blood runs thicker than water.

Louis doesn’t like Liam’s new brother and he doesn’t even know him. That’s irrelevant, though.

He doesn’t like him. He doesn’t trust him. He doesn’t want him hanging around. He doesn’t want anything to do with him.

That is, until he meets him.

💮The Arrangement by @daddyy_harryy, @HyFrLarry1224 (218k) | Mature

Louis knew it was his time. Once anyone turned 13, they were watched. And when they were 16 it could be any time. Anytime they could be taken. It was just weeks after his 16th birthday and there he was, sitting in the back of the van.

Or

Louis is forced to marry Harry and bear his children. He is to listen to Harry and do as he says, no matter what. Speaking is a given, and freedom doesn’t exist. Will the sixteen year old boy find himself falling in love with the Leader of the British Mafia? Or will he find himself stuck in a place he doesn’t want to be, with an abusive asshole for a husband?

💮Birds in Gilded Cages by @graveyardwitch (157k) | Mature

There is a hotel in London where beautiful young men and women are kept like birds in a gilded cage, prisoners bound to satisfy your deepest darkest desires….

After being kidnapped as a teenager, Harry Styles was forced into high-class prostitution by the evil Mr Cowell. Louis Tomlinson is heir to his father’s corporation, set to inherit millions…But engaged to a woman he doesn’t love and deeply unhappy. When they meet at a party sparks fly and they embark on a passionate and dangerous relationship…But can it ever be true love when one of you is being paid? And can Louis ever rescue Harry from The Bird Cage Hotel?

Warning-This story is about prostitution so there will be a LOT of sex. I do not own One Direction etc etc. I do ship Larry but I don��t care if it’s real or not, I just like reading and writing the fanfic.

💮TFP by @capriciouslouis (134k) | Not Rated

Harry has known for a while that he wants to have sex with Louis, and nothing says “tonight’s the night” like a nice cup of tea and copious amounts of flowers.

💮12 Hours by @1975sam (2k) | Explicit

If two people who hated/couldn’t stand each other got stuck together in an elevator for 12 hours, what would happen?

💮a cage for every ugly spirit by @sarcasticfluentry (15k) | Explicit

First-year uni student Harry gives up orgasms for Lent, featuring a cock cage and weekly prostate milkings on Sundays. Warning for religion kink. Written for the 1D Novena Ficathon.

💮A Million Years by @sunflowerstyles (3k) | Explicit

Louis always ends up feeling guilty that he’s not ready to give Harry what he wants. Harry shows him how much fun they can have while they wait together.

💮Can’t help but touch myself by @Tita (7k) | Explicit

“I asked what these were, love.” Harry gulps. “Panties,” he explains with heated cheeks, needing more than the light touches from Louis and getting nothing. “What did you get them for? Were they to impress someone else?” He asks, and Harry shakes his head fervently, stumbling over his words as he tries to get his tongue to cooperate. “No, no,” he emphasizes, arching his back to plaster himself to Louis. “For you, always for you, Daddy.”

💮Mark Me Up (My Skin’s Yours to Touch) by @eyesofshinigami​ (2k) | Explicit

They stumble into their bedroom and Louis’ is immediately pushed onto the bed, Harry scrambling after him. Shaky hands pull down his joggers right under his arse and Harry’s tongue circles around the still tender skin, never touching it directly. Despite the heat and desperation between them, Harry’s almost reverential in his touches. “‘s for me, Lou?” he slurs between passes of his tongue. “A place that only I can see?”

Or the one where Harry gets to appreciate Louis’ new tattoo.

💮Champagne by @fanshae (2k) | Explicit

“Look at how pretty you are,” Louis murmurs, Harry’s stockinged toes curling against the floor at the praise, “Give Daddy a twirl, baby.”

💮Give It Up To Me by @krisstylinson (8k) | Explicit

“You’re going to end up making me come with all the boys in our lounge,” he finished, his tone softening the longer he spoke.

“And?” Harry murmured, placing his palm over the crevice of Louis’ arse, keeping the plug nice and tight inside of him. “What if I wanted you to?”

Or the cliché where Louis isn’t supposed to come but he does, and that can’t go unpunished in Harry’s eyes.

💮Gnossienne by @pukeandcry (11k) | Explicit

Louis sets a challenge for himself; it gets a bit out of hand.

💮Hold On To The Words You Spoke (Anchored Down In The Throat) by @justletmegohome (13k) | Explicit

“No, no. Louis, just stop. It’s not stupid, it’s never stupid. Believe it or not, I care. I care so much. Do you honestly think I’d still have my dick in your ass if I didn’t?”

Louis chuckles at that, but it’s sad, Harry notes it’s not right. “That will change when I tell you.”

“Never.” Harry kisses every bit of his face he can reach, he has no idea how that can help but he’s going to do it anyways.

“I don’t like the way I sound. ’S all,” Louis says in one breath, going coy as soon as he’s done speaking, his eyes casting downwards.

For a moment, Harry can’t believe his ears. Or the words Louis just said even if he can see them hanging in the air between them. Harry is not even sure if he listened He doesn’t want to believe them, maybe that’s why he’s having a hard time coming up with his own words.

*** Basically, Louis is loud. And then he isn’t. Harry ties him up to find out why. ***

💮I’m Tired Of Using Technology, I Need You Right In Front Of Me by @Phillipa19 (6k) | Explicit

Louis goes away on yet another business trip, but when he stops calling Harry to check in, Harry decides to take matters into his own hands.

OR- Louis is Harry’s sugardaddy who has gone away on business and Harry feels neglected. Louis is possessive and gets a camera installed in their bedroom so he can check up on Harry, so Harry decides to use the camera to his advantage.

💮Just One Night by @LovelyAnon (7k) | Explicit

Louis is upset and goes to a bar to drown his worries. Harry shows up. Sex ensues. What more is there to say?

💮just one step at a time by @hickeylou, @sowearegay (10k) | Explicit

Louis is insecure and Harry has trouble sometimes.

💮leave you drowning until you reach for my hand by orphan_account (16k) | Explicit

If Louis told him to do something that he really didn’t want to do, it would be different, but Louis’s never done that, never asked anything of Harry that he couldn’t handle. Except—except maybe this; to obey him without praise, reward, approval, or even mere acknowledgement.

💮let’s talk about making love by @istajmaal (25k) | Explicit

“That’s my name, baby, I’m Louis.” The voice on the phone inhales sharply, then says, “Gonna take my cock now, princess?”

Harry lets out a high-pitched mhmm and shudders as he pulls his fingers out of his hole, groping for the vibrator. “Nice to meet you,” he says, feeling a bit dizzy with how hard his untouched cock is.

Louis is just a simple phone sex line operator, but to Harry, he’s Daddy.

💮Push You Over The Edge (So I Can Pull You Back)by orphan_account (16k) | Explicit

It’s after a long two weeks of interviews and non-stop appearances that have got Harry stressed to the limit of yanking his hair out and throwing a fit and crying that Louis shows it to him, walks in the door with a sleek black bag in his left hand and inconspicuous brown one in his right.

💮Skipping Heartbeats by @1dfetusfics (3k) | Mature

Louis doesn’t talk much and for some reason he has a queasy feeling in his belly whenever he’s around boys now, especially around Harry.

💮Sweet Dreams by @dormant_bender (5k) | Explicit

When fantasies become reality.

💮Talk To Me, Baby by orphan_account (3k) | Explicit

Harry loves to talk and whisper little things to Louis during sex. Louis is pretty quiet, loves it, but just listens. But one day Harry really wants to hear Louis say some of the dirty things he loves Harry to do to him, so Harry really encourages Louis to talk to him during sex. Louis is self-conscious at first but then they really get into it and amazingness happens.

💮Thank the Hotel by orphan_account (4k) | Explicit

The hotel messed up the boys’ reservations for after their Red Nose Day performance, causing Louis and Harry to share a single bed hotel room. When Harry wakes up to Louis having a wet dream, he just can’t help himself. He’d have to remember to thank the hotel later.

💮To Be Loved To Be In Love by @Angel_Dust (129k) | Mature

At 18, every Sub must take a Match Test to find their Dom.

Poor, Farm kid Louis Tomlinson is matched with Rich, Businessman Harry Styles.

Or, where Harry thinks giving Money, expensive presents and luxuries proves how much you love someone, but Louis is about to turn his world upside down.

💮turn you on, make you radiate by @ballsdeepinjesus (15k)| Explicit

When he presses inside for the first time in weeks, he’s pretty sure he sees stars behind his eyes at the staggering sensation of Harry’s body squeezing every inch of him. When he bottoms out, he stays buried inside for a minute just to catch his bearings, listening as Harry takes sharp breaths beneath him. When he finally feels like he’s under control, he presses his lips against Harry’s ear and whispers, “Are you ready husband?“

Harry throws his head back and groans. “Call me your spouse.”

[…or, a self-indulgent snapshot of hl’s sex lives over the course of 10+ years]

💮Untitled sugardaddy fic by orphan_account (2k) | Explicit

Harry comes home from a long day at work and has his way with his baby. (That’s Louis.)

Or

The one with all the daddy kink sex and spanking. It’s pure pwp.

✨You can also check My Fic Tags for more fics! ✨

[villanevest]

"You're Her Type": Anna and Eve and the Garden of Evil (+ how Eve and Villanelle learn and love)

hello everybody i have had more wine so now you're going to be subjected to my Opinions. today, we are going to be talking about eve and anna, specifically in the context of their respective relationships with villanelle. i believe that, as we wind up to another season finale, and our characters make some pretty defining choices about one another, this is a comparison that killing eve invites -- it's no coincidence that after six episodes of relative radio silence on the matter, konstantin returned anna to the show's discourse in 2x07. so buckle up. a little signposting: first we're going to break down how eve and villanelle engage with the idea of love, then contrast anna and eve's moral frameworks, and then finally explore how anna and eve have gone from almost mirror images of one another to completely divorced in villanelle's mind, and why that's a good thing. i will try and keep this shit concise, but y'all know how these turn out.

now as i've mentioned before, killing eve is a precarious cantilever of parallels. eve/villanelle are obviously our most important and riveting example of this -- initially, they have their resemblance, but we watch as they slowly and softly kill their old selves until they complement each other seamlessly. but eve/anna is a crucial secondary parallel because it contextualises the primary; it situates villanelle and eve's mutual obsession. 

i believe that as we progress through our formative years, the people around us provide us with experiences and patterns that teach us how to love, and what to expect from love. this can sometimes set us up for life (leaving us with a model that drives us to seek out healthy and productive dynamics), but sometimes, it means we don't know how to recognise or cultivate genuine affection, and we get trapped in damaging cycles. i've said before that i think eve sits on the psychopathy spectrum, but i also think that growing up, she had strong examples of relationships, which is why she is such an accomplished long-term chameleon -- she was able to maintain a marriage and friendships. yes, this was partially through self-repression, but at a base level, eve has the formulae to pass in these typical emotional environments. 

villanelle, on the other hand? anna tells eve that villanelle's father was a drunk, and her mother passed away. i doubt that villanelle had ANY actual relationships, let alone good ones, with family. she's exceptionally intelligent and a very fast learner (which anna asserts and we have confirmed on-screen almost every episode), and she's versatile. this is why she's able to craft and adopt the perfect character/personality for a particular situation -- she's built up a repertoire of dialects, micro-expressions, cue responses, etc. that allow her to smoothly navigate short-term interactions (e.g. with Sebastian, with Gemma). but prior to anna, villanelle has no people she can invest in and expect a returned investment, so she's never had the opportunity to develop skills beyond the superficial. she gets what she wants through charisma, a calculated blend of innocence and sex appeal, and transactions (i do this, you do that). 

but then villanelle meets anna, and undoubtedly forms an imprint on her of some kind, as her first "reciprocal" relationship -- the first adult to treat villanelle like she has value. obviously, the ethics of student/teacher affair are EXTREMELY dicey, but getting into that discourse will take us outside my intended scope. so here's how eve and anna differ. 1) proximity. villanelle and anna are together all the time, and this gives rise to their relationship. villanelle and eve, in the first season, are almost always apart. initially, their fascination is at least partly driven by mystery. it's not a "crime of opportunity". this is pretty much the most difficult long-distance mess imaginable. essentially, villanelle and eve both take an active role -- they pursue each other deliberately -- rather than a passive one. it's not a matter of convenience. 2) commitment. for anna, villanelle was an avenue of tourism, a compartment kept self-contained which anna could visit to re-explore youth and sexuality. but villanelle was not allowed to bleed into the rest of her life; anna wanted to keep job-husband-image just-so while also having villanelle when desired (cake had and eaten too). eve's whole life, however, orbits villanelle. her husband, her friends, her job -- these are discarded as acceptable sacrifices on the path to villanelle, rather than prioritised. while anna (potentially due to guilt) idealises the memory of her husband, eve considers niko disposable, and is a clearer iteration of herself without him.

3) psychology. anna is inarguably fucked up (she had an affair with her STUDENT), but i don't think she registers as a psychopath. she displays empathy, remorse, reticence to cause harm. eve? villanelle kind of nailed it with the "like us" thing. and this brings us to how anna and eve each fit into villanelle's life, and way of life. im making an absolute reach of a biblical reference with my title, but if for a minute we did position anna/eve as adam/eve, we end up with two items of real relevance. firstly, that eve is the one who takes the bite of the apple, and secondly, that eve is created from anna/adam. the apple as we know is symbolic of the temptation of sin. eve eats, and is cast from paradise forever. what i love about this, though, is that our eve isn't cast from paradise, she's cast from prison. eve's boring office job in witness coordination, her stale marriage, her enactment of normality day in, day out -- it isn't a utopia, not by any stretch. and i think that's only really starkly apparent to eve after all those trappings are gone; once she feels "wide awake", she realises exactly how long and how deeply she's been asleep. but anna? anna doesn't give in, or rather, she doesn't give in enough. she sleeps with villanelle, and spends time with villanelle, but when she's confronted with villanelle's capacity for violence, she retreats. she calls the police and cuts villanelle out of her life (which im obviously not going to criticise her for; it's a justifiable response), although it's too late by then. she's stranded in this halfway purgatory -- a woman whose adolescent lover murdered her husband; a woman who isn't good but won't commit to being bad, CAN'T commit. anna is undoubtedly morally grey, but (and bear with me here, because i can't think of a better way to articulate this) anna is kind of weak. she never had the guts to look at her situation for what it was, to bother to try and see villanelle beyond what she wanted her to be. she was using villanelle -- someone she could feel good about helping while simultaneously bringing excitement to her mundane life -- and set her back down when villanelle became too much trouble. what we and Villanelle learn from this is that certain parts of who she is are attractive (irresistibly so) to other people, and others are repellent. 

which obliquely brings me to the second point, that eve is created from anna. as early as 1x02, we have our attention directed to the physical similarities between anna and eve, which is perhaps part of the initial draw to eve for villanelle, but we also have their differences immediately emphasised. eve is unique from the outset, because these repellent qualities -- the enjoyment of destruction, the dramatic flair, the violence, the efficiency -- are what excite her about villanelle in the first place. villanelle's beauty/charm/off-beat humour/loyalty all come into the picture later. at the beginning, there's just a string of bodies, and that's what sucks eve in. don't get me wrong, i think it's very much villanelle's personality that eve is obsessed with -- we could see her professional but  lack of personal interest in the Ghost -- but she has always understood villanelle in the context of her darkness. it never surprises her, only intrigues her. in 1x08, we have a number of direct comparisons between anna and eve, or at least, the show recreates the same situations with each of them and watches them respond entirely differently. 

we have anna pulling the gun on villanelle. the entire time, villanelle is relaxed, stating outright that anna doesn't have what it takes to shoot. she waits her out. she has no intentions of killing anna, even though she tells irina, "i don't love her anymore." we'll come back to the significance of that statement. 

later, in the tea room, eve has a gun levelled at villanelle, but again, villanelle is certain she won't fire. eve admits that no, she can't use the gun, but rather than turn it on herself as anna did, she makes villanelle an offer: come with me; it can be just the two of us, and we can talk. in a high stress environment, eve's response is to treat villanelle like a person, not a weapon or a thing. 

so villanelle runs. and that brings us to their final interaction of the season, when they meet in villanelle's paris apartment. as they lie together on the bed, eve pulls the knife, and villanelle tells her, "you can't."

this is where eve cleaves distinctly and irreversibly from anna in villanelle's mind. like i said, a fraction of eve's initial appeal is her similarity to anna, although it's also obvious that villanelle is very much attracted to eve in her own right (in 2x03, she calls the woman she sleeps with "eve" and not "anna"). but then in 1x04, eve gets out of the car to face villanelle, and villanelle has dinner with her in 1x05, and eve begins to overwrite anna in villanelle's mind. how can we be sure of this? because in 1x08, when villanelle is sneaking past anna and irina in the apartment, she pauses and stares, even though it's vital that she get to her passport quickly. what's notable about this particular moment is that this is the only shot where anna could easily be mistaken for eve. this is what prompts villanelle to linger for that extra beat. 

so we have that initial similarity, then a merging, then an overtaking. but when eve stabs villanelle, she becomes removed entirely from anna in villanelle's mind. she goes from "you're like anna" to "you're more interesting than anna" to just "eve". because along many other things, eve has the capacity to surprise villanelle. she doesn't take the easy or the expected choice. not only does she understand villanelle's language of extremities and violence, she speaks it. this is what villanelle means by "like us" in 2x07; she and eve are more similar than they are different. 

and now we're circling back to villanelle's defence to irina -- "i don't love her anymore!" obviously, this line carries all kinds of implications, but the most critical is that villanelle conceptualises herself as someone capable of love. she doesn't say "i don't like her anymore" or "i don't want her anymore" or "i'm not obsessed with her anymore". she chooses and uses "love". 

with anna, though, it never could be a mutual, reciprocal love, because she and villanelle don't mean the same thing when they use that word. they have fundamentally different understandings of what love means. so even though, ostensibly, it seems like villanelle broke her learned pattern by seeking anna out, she actually perpetuated it -- anna is another authority-position adult who discards villanelle, who misunderstands her and pushes her away (again, fair enough; villanelle is very complicated and dangerous). but eve? look at eve's initial constructions of love. she loved bill, but remains infatuated with his murderer. she loved niko, but when he questioned her rather than supported her, she discarded him too, and went from upset to acceptance in a matter of DAYS after what was presumably a 15yrs+ partnership. 

and then look at her with villanelle. it's not conventional or healthy, but they have a much more compatible interpretation of interpersonal relationships. they're both quite manipulative, but they don't see this as an issue -- the manipulations are a means to the end of helping the other. villanelle is very transactional (she sends eve clothes and perfume, wants to make her favourite recipes), but eve responds very well to the expressing affection through gifts and gestures; far less well when niko and kenny try to show care by giving eve instructions or suggestions. they each romanticise eve stabbing villanelle ("i think about it all the time"), yet neither of them believed villanelle would go through with the hit on eve, because violence plays a deliberate, rather than random, role in their dynamic, which they both comprehend innately. eve stabbed villanelle to assert their equality; she probably did it because villanelle's first response was to say, "you can't", and eve needed to prove she could. but they're on different terms by the time they meet again, and harming each other is no longer a productive currency, no longer has purpose; instead, they hurt others, and help each other, as a way of affirming the growth of their connection. 

for eve and villanelle alike, the other represents a deviation from their established learned patterns, but an important choice for them personally. eve isn't going for the stable, normal relationship that she's been brought up to seek out; instead, she's gravitating towards the possibility of someone who embraces her complexity and darkness, and will give her space and means to explore and express herself. and villanelle isn't recreating a nonreciprocal relationship where she is used/enjoyed and then discarded; she's chosen someone who has the potential to be longer-term, who genuinely cares about her holistically. 

from where we're standing before the finale, it looks like they may learn to "love" each other, in the way they are each capable of. villanelle and eve aren’t a relationship that can exist in heaven, because they’re not people of paradise; whether they’re the apples or the snakes or the gods in this equation, the pertinent fact is that are each other’s gateways into a world that fits them, and gives them what they need. is that fucked up? absolutely. is it kind of nice? I think so. it’s certainly gripping as all hell to watch.

xx. see y’all on the other side if we survive tomorrow’s episode.

[oldtumblhurgoyf]

Lauren Orsini wants to kiss a cat man and that’s wrong*

Here’s a ranking of All 36 'Magic: The Gathering' War of the Spark Planeswalkers Ranked By Dateability in Forbes no less. But it’s so terribly wrong. Here’s my Empirically Correct List of Planeswalkers Ranked By Dateability.

*this is all very silly and Orsini’s list is fine, I’m sure... for her.

36-28 Undateable

36 and 35. Tie between Gideon Jura and Domri Rade (with an honorable mention to Dack Fayden).

Dudes are all literally dead. Sorry, but I’m not dating a corpse. Also, before Gideon’s death, he was running himself ragged hopping from plane to plane to save the world. He didn’t have the time for a relationship. Domri is an obnoxious child (emphasis on child too). Of the three, Dack had the most potential but even alive he’d be lucky to break the top 20 of my list. Good for a few fun weekends and that’s probably it. Tempting to hope your love could reform him but that’s just a good way to have your heart stolen.

34. Nicol Bolas

He’s downright evil and self-centered to an unfathomable degree. Hard pass, no thank you. Literally no redeeming qualities.

33. Ob Nixilis

The obvious date for him is someone into BDSM, right? Wrong. He’s not going to respect your boundaries or practice good after care. He’ll use and abuse you for what he wants and then probably murder you. That’s not a date.

32. Dovin Baan

This dude’s whole deal is that he sees the flaws in everything. He’d probably outright refuse to date and if not, he’d constantly be nitpicking your relationship and you. There’s probably a decent amount of built up angst and stuff and if he ever cut loose there could be some fun, but it would be very fleeting and comes at too great a cost (months later thinking “what did he mean by ‘your forehead is adequate, but your nose is not the ideal shape’?”).

31. Tibalt

See Ob Nixilis. Kind of crazy how similar these two are.

30. Ashiok

We don’t know a whole lot about them, but I’m envisioning they’re like Ob Nixilis/Tibalt except it’s all mental/psychological harm. It’s Dovin Baan but instead of an ostensible pursuit of perfection, the mental anguish is its own reward.

29. Ugin

Like dating a dad, but a really boring dad. And like any other dragon, he’s still very full of himself, he’s just a little more subtle about it. Besides, apparently you’d do all your dating in the Prison Realm and Bolas would be there trying to ruin your (already pretty miserable) date as some small payback for being trapped.

28. Sorin Markov

Things will be okay, but he gives me weird unwanted daddy vibes and he’s just going to ghost you anyway.

27-19 Redeeming Qualities, Not Long-Term Material

27.  The Wanderer

Not much to go on here but we do know she’s gonna ghost you though probably not voluntarily.

26.  Teyo Verada

He seems nice enough but he’s pretty young and super naive. He’s got some things to figure out and some growing to do before you’d want to date him.

25. Jiang Yanggu

What I said for Teyo goes for Yanggu as well. Plus side, every date with him there is a really cute pupper coming along.

24. Kaya

She’s giving me Gideon vibes. I think she’d be more fun than Gids, but she’s too devoted to her career to have time for a relationship.

23. Teferi

It’s a common refrain I’m running into here, but Teferi is also too dedicated to his job to make for a good relationship. Additionally he’s got lifetimes of experiences that make him “The Most Interesting Man in the Multiverse” and you’re always going to feel like a second fiddle to him, not an equal. This is a case where he’s almost too perfect.

22. Jaya

Jaya’s got distinct mother vibes for me. There’s just no way I could see a date with her that isn’t weird. It wouldn’t even be a bad date per se, but it’s not gonna happen.

21. Samut

I’m intimidated by Samut. I mean, who wouldn’t be? She’s been through Amonkhet’s trials and stood ready in front of Hazoret’s spear. That’s such a singular dedication that few others can match. I think I’d shrivel in front of her love.

20. Kiora

She’s a playful trickster and kind of flighty. You’ve got one good date with her and then maybe a follow up fling at some point, but there’s no building a relationship here. I mean, unless you’re really lucky, but I wouldn’t count on it.

19. Karn

Karn’s got plenty going for him. He’s done some really interesting stuff, he’s motivated, and deeply invested even if he doesn’t always show it. He can certainly show you a lot of cool things. But long term the lack of humanity creates distance and problems.

18-10 A Good Time, Let’s See How it Works Out

19. Liliana Vess

She’s a toss up to me at this point. She’s been through a whole helluva lot and this is the point where she could go completely good, or take her get out of demon-contract-death jail free card and double down on all her worst attributes. She’ll be a fun date, you just can’t be sure it should be more than that.

17. Angrath

Dude’s super dedicated to his family but he gets incredibly frustrated and pretty damn easily. His name’s literally angry wrath so you kind of have to expect that. If you think going to a dive bar and getting into a fight with a biker is a good date then Angrath is going to be a fun time.

16. Vivien Reid

Maybe I just haven’t been paying a whole lot of attention, but I know less about Vivien Reid than any other planeswalker on this list I think (which is wild when you consider exactly how little we know about the Wanderer or Kasmina). But as the Steve Irwin of the multiverse, there’s no way this date isn’t fun. You’ve just perhaps bitten off more than you can chew.

15. Ajani Goldmane

Ajani is a total sweetheart who will care for you like no other. The flip side of that is he is always pushing you to be your better self and, hon, that’s just a little much for me. Like can’t we just stay in and cuddle for once? I do NOT want to go to the gym again this week.

14. Arlinn Kord

Unlike Jaya, I don’t have mom vibes here. She’s a good looking lady who definitely seems to be here for a good time. 

13. Huatli

This one is totally an “it’s not you, it’s me situation.” She’s so big on community and sharing stories--I’m more of a homebody. There’s nothing wrong exactly, we just won’t be compatible, I don’t think. But somebody out there is, and the two of you will get along famously. Another list would totally rank her as marriage material.

12. Narset

This is another case of such dedication and perfectionism that I just don’t think I could measure up in a relationship with her. She’ll come home from exploring the multiverse and meditation and combat training and reading ancient scrolls to find all I’ve done is take out the trash and do some dishes before playing some games and... not be disappointed exactly, but it won’t inspire respect and desire in her. Another one where there’s incredible potential there... for the right person.

11. Kasmina

Mysterious as she is, I’m getting young Jaya vibes from Kasmina. Not as in, when Jaya was actually young and all fiery temper and stuff. But rather, current Jaya without the creepy (to me) mom vibes. There’s potential here but so much mystery it’s impossible to say for sure without taking a chance.

10. Nahiri

I can’t imagine anyone I’d have a better single date with. Like a real good time. She’s planned it out perfectly and she’s ready to go. It might not last, but you’ll enjoy it while it does. Keep the lines of communication clear, respect boundaries, and be aware she can hold a grudge, and I think this actually has a chance.

9-1 Marriage Material

9. Jace Beleren

He’s sort of what I see Yanggu or Teyo needing. He’s done that growing and learning and he’s a pretty solid guy. He’s learned a lot of lessons the hard way but he’s definitely better for it.

8. Tamiyo

She’s literally married and raising kids in a happy home. The potential is there (if we ignore her canon marriage and assume she is available to date), not to mention her chosen career of essentially multiverse astronomer is pretty damn cool and relatively safe compared to what these other planeswalkers have devoted themselves to. (Sure, there’s Innistrad and Emrakul, but I imagine most planes’ moons are much safer to observe than that.)

7. Sarkhan Vol

Like Jace, he’s worked through a lot and is a pretty awesome person because of it. Unlike Jace, he’s been attractive the whole time. He’s tender and vibrant and aware and just cool as all hell. Bringing him home would be like dating Brendan Frasier in his prime.

6. Vraska

Downside to Vraska is that she’s pretty clique-ish and suspect of anyone from outside her group. Her views have expanded recently, but I think she’s still going to put up a rock hard exterior. If you can chisel your way through that then you’ve got a heart of gold.

5. Davriel Cane

Forget the demon contracts and all that nonsense. What this guy wants deep down is to just be left alone. Let’s retire to a nice estate on the countryside and enjoy our time together.

4. Saheeli Rai

Creative and inspiring, Saheeli is an absolute sweetheart. And she’s dedicated to a craft that she can do at home. She doesn’t have go trooping about the multiverse on dangerous missions without you. She can work on amazing marvels in her workshop then come next door to take you out for ice cream.

3. Nissa Revane

Nissa is a bit aloof and distant, but don’t let that fool you. She’s nurturing in every way you could want and then some. She’s great if you can get past that stoic exterior.

2. Ral Zarek

Ral’s more romantic than I ever woulda thought. He’s dedicated and thoughtful, but not so stuffy that things get boring. Actually the biggest detractor here is that things will never be boring with Ral, but he’ll make it worth your while to stick beside him through it all.

1. Chandra Nalaar

Full of warmth and passion, Chandra’s got what it takes to make the strongest connection. And she’s another character who has made some incredible personal growth recently. She’s ready to take the next step with someone special and if that were you, the two of you are in for a long-burning love.

[real-sotenbori-hours]

Thistle - *Tachibana Tetsu x Fem Reader*

Summary: He runs a perilous business, which makes your yearning for him hazardous to you. Oh yeah, he's also your boss... but doesn't that make it all the more fun? 

 Warnings/themes: Angst, fluff, forbidden love, tension, frustration, passion 

 Notes: This was my first challenge, I very much enjoyed it! What was the most challenging part about it? Following the No Smut guideline, of course, because I'm a fucking fiend. So I think I'll probably definitely be following up with a filthy Part 2 because Tachibana Tetsu is a savory little morsel that does not get enough love or action and I will personally see to it that he does because he fucking deserves it. 

Ahh, Tachibana Real Estate... your home away from home. A ball breaking, take-no-prisoners realty outfit that stops at nothing to attain what’s in its sights. You might not be one of the team’s heavy hitters, but you do the administrative grunt work. You’re the discs in the spine of this landholding monster, your effort and support allow it to move.

  For a company that operates so heavily in the vein of intimidation, manipulation and mild forms of extortion, you really don’t mind the methods because its head, Tachibana Tetsu is a man of principle, honor and diligence. Ironic perhaps, but you see it as true opportunism and just plain business savvy.

  Plus, you enjoy your work. You feel a special desire to assist your boss in any way necessary, no matter the lengths. The reason is simple: you’re a gaijin residing in Japan, making steady work difficult to come by at times. Or rather, jobs that befit you. Tachibana-san loved that you were a foreigner, as he himself was half-Chinese, half-Japanese. He understood all too well how challenging it could be to find your place in a city not of your origin, and he applauded anyone determined to make it work... as he did.

  Being so appreciated by your boss, a man you admired greatly meant the absolute world to you. He made you feel whole, as a valued member of something. You cared about him and his well-being, considering that his health was a fragile thing, too. He knew that anytime he needed something, especially if of a sensitive nature, he could rely on you... and you on him. 

 To the untrained eye, it may look like the two of you were closer than professional or platonic. When he’d speak to you he’d smile warmly, keeping his eyes on you attentively, to the point that you’d melt like warm honey. If he’d sense that you’re troubled, he’d brush your face with his hand and assure you he’d be there to help you in any way you needed. He’d tap your hand with his, clothed in fine black leather, reminding you that you’re strong and capable of withstanding any adversity that came your way. 

 You truly, deeply loved him, more than you've ever loved any other man. You felt that he denied himself the potential of real happiness because of the tragedies of his past and the complexities of his present. He’s unflinchingly stoic. Irritatingly so. You wanted him to thrive, but you forced yourself to accept his decisions. The subject had been addressed, and the conclusion was exactly what you assumed: the feelings were mutual, but he couldn’t risk harm befalling you. He was convinced if your relationship deepened any further, you’d be in perpetual danger as he had quite the array of formidable enemies. 

 Of course that only made you want him more, but you knew he was right. Though you were willing to roll the dice, he refused to entertain it. He couldn’t stand the idea of anything happening to you, especially because of him. He cared too much for you to test it. 

 To get your mind off of him, you tried to date casually. One cold, rainy evening after a few drinks and a particularly rough date, you walked back up the street to the office to decompress. For a variety of reasons, you felt more comfortable there than anywhere else and you figured you’d take a nap on the couch, resting more peacefully than you do in your own home. As soon as you unlocked the door and slipped in, you noticed the foyer lamps were on as well as the faint splinter of light sneaking out of Tachibana’s office door, slightly ajar. 

 You tried so hard to be stealth and of course as soon as you told yourself to step lightly, you dropped your keys, shattering the silence around you, alarming Tachibana-san, cursing yourself. 

 Somehow, he knew it was you. 

 “Y/N-san?” He called to you from within his sprawling office. You hung your head, you must’ve disturbed him if he’s here this late. You didn’t want to track water all over the floors but even more so, you didn’t want to keep him waiting. You walk slowly to his doors, pressing the further one in with your fingertips and sigh, entering.

  He’s standing with his back to you, facing the wall of windows. “Y/N-san, are you alright?”

  You clumsily grab a chair and sit down, trying your best to conceal your intoxication. You sigh again, deeper this time, folding your hands in your lap. “Not really, Tachibana-san. But I’ll be fine. What about you, why are you here so late?”

  He chuckles and turns on his heel, facing you from behind his desk. As he regards you, a look of concern instantly apprehends his beautiful face. “Y/N-san, you’re soaking.” He darts across his office to a wall of cabinets, retrieving a neatly folded stack of soft, white towels. Almost teleporting before you as he urgently presents them, imploring you to take care, he appraises your expression and that heartwarming smile peels across his face. “Did you walk in the rain?”

  You take a towel to your hair, squeezing the loose droplets of water out of your tresses. “I was just up the street, I thought I’d go out for a bit.”

  He steps closer, sensing your affect as less than content, draping a large towel around your shoulders. “Did you enjoy yourself?” He asks, hopefully. 

 You shake your head nonchalantly, “Not particularly, but so it goes..." Dabbing your clothing with the towel enveloping you, you hang it over the back of the chair and shrug, trying to shift the focus. "So, are you working late, Tachibana-san?” 

 He blinks long and hard. “You could call it that, sure.” 

 You sit up, “Can I help with anything?” 

 He smiles again... you swear, he looks like a fucking angel. “You can help me understand why you’re down, and why you’d come all the way back here after a disappointing evening...” he hands you the last dry towel and crosses his arms, examining you further. 

 And there you go... the way he shows you how much he cares about you, the way he tenderly furnishes you with any possible thing you could need, pressing you to confide in him, staring into your soul with such gentleness... the drinks loosened you up and his presence unzips you and you burst into tears. 

 “I didn’t feel like going home, being alone... I just wanted to be here...” Your breath keeps catching in your chest and you want more than anything to stop crying. Tachibana places a hand on your shoulder, gripping you reassuringly, “It’s okay, Y/N-san. Whatever makes you feel safest.” 

 He bends slightly further at his waist, meeting the distance of your stare, pulling you back into the light. “Please tell me what happened... what upset you? It hurts me to see you so sad.” 

 You bury your face in your hands, muffling your concession. “I went on a date and from the moment it started, I just wanted it to be over. I just can't do it. I try, but I just can’t...”

 “Y/N-san, you’re a very beautiful woman; caring, sensitive... it will be a lucky man that finds you. Don’t—”

 You can’t stand it. You won’t. 

 You leap up from your seat, livid, fists balled at your sides. “No, Tetsu... I can’t hear this from you. You’re breaking my heart.” You begin to sob uncontrollably, shaking. Hiding your face again, you whimper, “You know how much I love you... I can’t even see anyone, all I want is you.”

  Tachibana wraps his arms around you, setting your heart and body ablaze, cupping the back of your head with one hand and your waist with the other. You immediately reciprocate his embrace, resting your cheek upon his shoulder, planting your hands on his chest, reveling in the physical contact... and then you push yourself free, irate once again.

  You cross your arms, fully aware of the angry blush on your face as you glare at him, pouting like an adorably petulant child. 

 He continues to analyze you, somewhat stunned as a knowing smirk appears. “Ah... I see. And you’ve had a couple of drinks, so now you can tell me how you feel?”

  Embarrassment begins to creep in. It’s time to go. You fold the towel closest to you, setting it atop the desk as you grab your bag. “I’d better go. I’m going to get some sleep.” As you turn away, he grabs your arm, pulling you to stand before him. He rests his gloved thumb on your chin, his fingers along your jawbone, he brings his other hand to frame your face as he searches your eyes, pained by your pain, sharing your hurt more than you knew.

  “Y/N, we’ve discussed this. No matter how deeply I desire you, I cannot indulge you because it would be selfish for me to...”

 He’s driving you nuts right now, and not in the good way. “Selfish?! What about MY desire?! If you want me as I want you, what’s selfish is denying me, as if I have no say...”

 He grips both of your arms and looks longingly into your eyes, as if to drive his point home. “I could never endanger you for the sake of pleasure, Y/N-san. I’d be beside myself if anything ever—”

 You shake your head violently. “If you don’t love me, then say it. I don’t just want pleasure, I want you, completely.”

 His lips part, speechless. He narrows his eyes as he scans yours again, gripping your face with both hands. “How could you think I don’t love you? My heart stopped the moment I first saw you. I’ve loved you ever since. But I made a promise to you, Y/N-san. I promised I’d be there for you. If something terrible were to happen to you, how could I keep my word?”

  “That’s no way to live. I can’t keep going through each day, pining for you, pretending that I’m not. It’s killing me. I want to be your woman. But this is too much, I can’t do this anymore... I... I have to go.” You’re sick at the thought of sealing your fate, of possibly leaving the building for the last time. But you made your bed, you said everything. You can’t go back on it now.

  You turn towards the door once again, quickly closing the space as you reach for the handle. 

 Just as your fingers graze the knob, Tachibana’s hand whizzes past your peripheral, slamming the door shut. He grabs and turns you around, pinning you against it, clutching your face, finally crashing his lips to yours. Gripping your face with his gloved hand, pulling you in deeper. Ecstasy. Your lips roll and overlap, tongues immediately running along each other’s lengths, teeth scraping all surrounding skin... a kiss more passionate than every fantasy you’ve entertained. It went on, uninterrupted for minutes... and minutes.

 He runs his hand from your face down your neck, over and along your chest, matching his other hand on your hips, grabbing you hard, deliberately, bringing you in so much closer, sealing it with another tight embrace. You twist your fingers into his sexy slicked back hair, something you’ve longed to do for too damn long. Your mouths would part for a second before you’d both feverishly reunite them, aching for more. You could do this for hours.

  You grab his leather clad hand and bring it up to your neck, pressing down on his fingers, urging him to follow suit. He does, just for a second, then bites and sucks your bottom lip as consolation, pulling away.

  He leans past you and reaches for the knob to the door. You straighten up, watching him intently, desperate to read his mind now that you’ve both reached a place from which there’s no return.

  He can feel your anxiousness brewing and meets your eyes with a devious look in his. “Alright, Y/N-san, let’s get you home. I want to make sure you arrive... unscathed.” He runs his hand down your back, resting it just above the place where your legs meet. 

  Your excitement gets the best of you as you smugly reply, “Kissing me breaks the promise... remember?”

 He laughs. God, you love it when he laughs. 

 Taking your hand in his and once again gripping your face with the other, he muses, “Y/N-san, I’ll keep my promise to you. I’ll be by your side. The promise I’ve broken is the one I made to myself when I hired you, that I’d put you to work and that I’d never cross the line. But I can live with it if you can. Now I want to take you home, and I’d like to stay with you tonight, if I may.”

  Lightning courses through your body. You can’t believe this is finally going to happen. You pull his face down to yours again, kissing him deeper still, tugging on his hair, dragging him against you and breaking away as the passion swelled.

 You eagerly lead the way, pulling the door open, turning to him and beaming as you give him your hand again, tightly interlacing your fingers, tingling. “Just you wait. You’ve no idea how good I’m gonna make you feel, Tetsu.” 

[sirius-whoisleft]

GENERAL INFORMATION ➤

Full Legal Name: Sirius Orion Black III Nickname(s): Padfoot Age: 18 Gender & Pronouns: cisgender male; he/him Sexuality: Initially, I began writing him as a demiromantic pansexual. However, I am pleased to announce that with each day I write him? He not only gets gayer, but his capacity to love and crush and pine grows threefold. 

Date of Birth: November 3rd Horoscope: Scorpio, baby!!!!! Hogwarts House: Gryffindor, though and through Nationality: French by way of London  Occupation:

Sirius is currently a seventh year Gryffindor student at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry which is, all things considered, a pretty sweet gig. He’s preparing for NEWTS! He’s living off the trust fund provided for him by his dearly departed Uncle Alphard! He hasn’t been kicked out yet! He’s snogging his boyfriend in the library every chance he gets!

And, improbably, Sirius Black is preparing for his future. 

Recently, Sirius had been admitted to the competitive and prestigious Gringott’s cursebreaking training program. After graduation, he’ll make that five-times-a-week trek down to Diagon Alley and immerse himself in ancient societies, runes, translations, curse-handling, history, desert magic and...yes...wait for it...copious paperwork! Upon graduation from the program, Sirius will emerge a newly minted and proud Cursebreaker, working at the bank’s back office most days, doing research and translations and the like, but also getting his hands dirty on trips. The pyramids of Egypt and the tombs of China will call to him, and he can’t wait to see them all!

Unfortunately, his time with the cursebreakers will be cut short, and he’ll hurl himself headlong into his Order of the Phoenix membership under Alastor Moody’s dark influence...but that’s a story for another day.

Summarized in One Word: Bombastic!

APPEARANCE ➤

Faceclaim: Ben Barnes Height: Just as with the sexuality question, Sirius gets both gayer AND SHORTER the longer I write him. Currently he’s hovering around 5′7″ by accurate standards, but in my mind he’s a tiny little pocket bastard. Hair Color: Black Eye Color: Grey Noticeable Features: Devastating good looks. Emphasis on the devastating due to the strong Black family resemblance. A growing collection of tattoos. Long hair that he’s wont to elegantly flick away from his eyes. Perpetual haughty looks off into the distance. 

Typical Outfit or General Fashion Sense: Sirius dresses simply, but well. How well depends on the occasion and your personal opinion, but it can’t be argued that he looks good doing it. His typical layabout clothes consist of either a band-tee or button-down with a pair of trousers or muggle jeans (the magic of which Remus Lupin introduced him to); for formal affairs, he still remembers how to walk the walk and can pull off a suit and tie with uncomfortable ease. 

Truth be told, Sirius is still figuring out his fashion sense! He went from his clothing being dictated by his family to skating by on a Hogwarts uniform for several years. He’ll come into his own slowly and with purpose – the first step being an overindexing on punky, black leather jackets. 

HISTORY ➤

Hometown: London Financial Status: Trust fund bastard! After being cut off by the House of Black, Sirius coasted by broke and on the basis of favors from the Potter family for over a year before his Uncle Alphard passed away and left him a hefty little nest egg with which to make his way in the world. For all his talk about wanting to be of the common people and despising the wealthy and all they stand for, Sirius was raised with the safety net of exorbitant wealth and still defaults to many of those old habits and assumptions.  Spoken Languages: French was his first language, followed by English and then Latin. He’s deeply interested in dead languages and the study of runes.  Dream Job: Cursebreaker!  Bad Habits: Biting the inside of his cheek. Lashing out at those that care about him most. Pushing friends and concern away. Refusing to apply himself lest he try and fail. Squandering his education. Cocaine, alcohol, and other substances; his general proneness to addition. Recklessness and adrenaline-highs. Stealing the covers at night. Joking to cover up his real feelings. A proclivity for dark magic. Singing in the shower. 

FAMILY BACKGROUND ➤

Mother: Walburga Black (neé Black), estranged. Father: Orion Black, estranged.  Sibling(s): Regulus Black, estranged.  Pet(s): n/a Cousin(s): Bellatrix Black. Andromeda Black. Narcissa Black. Evan Rosier.

MAGICAL ABILITIES ➤

Wand: Reed, dragon heartstring, 10 ½ inches, rigid

Patronus (and which memory they’re currently using to cast a patronus if they can, or which one they’d use if they could): Like his Animagus form, Sirius’s patronus takes the shape of a large dog. He’s able to cast it with highly varying levels of success lately; while he has a good tutor in Remus and a willingness to try, Sirius’s magic has always been affected by his mood swings and he just...has too many of those to predict. His most successful attempts have been driven by days of rare concentration and memories colored by the other Marauders. Currently, were he to try and produce one, Sirius would think about the day that Remus kissed him in their dormitory following The Prank fallout – giving him affection and forgiveness and a second chance.

Boggart: The House of Black version of himself - the one that might have happened if he hadn’t been able to break away from his family in time.

OWLS: Ancient Runes, History of Magic, Astronomy, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Potions, Herbology, Arithmancy NEWTS: Ancient Runes (O), History of Magic (A), Astronomy (O), Charms (O), Defense Against the Dark Arts (O), Transfiguration (E), Potions (O), Arithmancy (O)

What Kind of Magic do They Excel at: 

Sirius’s best subject is Defense Against the Dark Arts. He is handy with a wand, knows his own power, and is unafraid to act in the heat of the moment – perhaps a bit recklessly, but there’s nothing life-or-death about the inside of the classroom, and so he simply manages to come off looking talented. 

The most important reason behind him succeeding in that class is the simple fact that he believes it to be useful; it’s going to Mean Something in the Real World, and so it’s one of the few school subjects that commands his attention and respect in equal measure. 

He also has a talent for Ancient Runes that’s finally being appreciated—now that he’s allowing people to appreciate it, and owning his deep interest in the subject openly—and, unfortunately, for the complexities of Dark Magic. 

PSYCHOLOGY ➤

MB Type: The Campaigner

Few personality types are as creative and charismatic as Campaigners. Known for their idealism and enthusiasm, Campaigners are good at dealing with unexpected challenges and brightening the lives of those around them. Campaigners’ imagination is invaluable in many areas, including their own personal growth.

Yet Campaigners can be easily tripped up in areas where idealism and kindness are more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, staying calm under pressure, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder or making difficult decisions, Campaigners need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker traits and additional skills.

Enneagram: ENFP [read more]

Excellent communicators. ENFPs have outstanding communication skills and they know how to use them. They will engage anyone in conversation at the drop of a hat, and they know how to draw others out in a way that keeps the discussion flowing. Whether casually shooting the breeze or collaborating in the workplace, ENFPs provide the horsepower that keeps the engine of conversation humming along.

Imaginative. ENFPs are imaginative problem solvers and reject the idea that traditional ways are always the best. In every situation they believe an original approach is possible—and desirable—and they refuse to become prisoners of habit or routine. They see roadblocks as opportunities, and they confront every challenge they face with fresh eyes and no preconceived notions.

Natural leaders. ENFPs step forward to assume positions of leadership readily and instinctively. They are confident in their ability to handle demanding responsibilities many people find scary or intimidating. ENFP leaders are consensus builders who work hard to gain the trust of their associates, patiently listening to their ideas and reacting enthusiastically to their good suggestions. Their assertive, “can-do” attitude inspires others and motivates them to action.

Strong social conscience. Often active in social movements, ENFPs stand up for what they believe in without apology. Some people talk the compassion game but don’t follow through with meaningful action, but ENFPs believe it is vitally important to back up caring words with good deeds. Despite their friendly nature, an ENFP will go supernova with righteous anger when they are exposed to suffering and injustice. They can get quite loud and assertive, if that’s what it takes to get their opinions heard.

Hypersensitivity. ENFPs sometimes let their imaginations run wild and often perceive bad intentions that don’t really exist. Being hyper-alert and aware helps ENFPs improve their social comprehension, but reading between the lines only works when something is actually hidden there. If it isn’t, misunderstandings can occur and hurt feelings can damage good relationships.

Lack of focus and follow through. ENFPs are endlessly creative, capable of filling a thousand days with a thousand bold ideas. But they don’t always follow through on their inspirations, and if others are not brought on board to handle the details, their best ideas may never be put into practice. ENFPs rely on their initial excitement and passion too much and don’t always show the discipline necessary to translate their ideas into real-world production. They have a tendency to start new projects before the last ones are finished, and failing to see things through is where ENFPs sometimes come up short. 

Overthink things. ENFPs have a tendency to perceive slights, resentments or hostility where none actually exist, and their habit of overanalyzing other people’s behavior can lead to unnecessary anger and conflict. If ENFPs aren’t receiving as many compliments as they expect from their significant others, their insecurities can be activated and they may start to feel unappreciated and unloved. 

Overemotional and approval-seeking. While emotional expression is a core part of the ENFP's identity, they can come on too strong. The bubbly, energetic style of ENFPs doesn’t mesh well with every partner and introverts, in particular, can sometimes feel steamrolled in their presence. ENFPs are also approval-seekers, and in their desire to receive praise and acknowledgment they may try a little too hard to make a good impression, talking too much and listening too little in the process. 

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good

Archetype:

55% Rebel - The Rebel is comfortable throwing caution to the wind—and bucking the system...if that means getting their point across.

25% Advocate - The Advocate is the one everyone wants on their side. In the name of justice, they are not afraid to challenge authority or speak up for others.

20% Caregiver - Friendly, sincere, and compassionate, the Caregiver finds their reward in helping others. No one could ask for a better best friend.

Temperament: Sanguine

[outside-seoul]

Game of Thrones, 8.4

In case you had any doubts, I am incapable of shutting up about Jaime and Brienne.

Their pairing is as epic and elemental as storytelling has to offer. They were inevitable--the handsome rich boy met his match in the strong, hardworking girl, and sparks flew. It’s a tale as old as time. But the chemistry between Jaime and Brienne isn’t only visible to consumers of narrative like us. People in the story can’t miss it, either. Cersei, Vonn, and (tragically) Tormund all saw it without being told.

At this point in the show, Jaime and Brienne have been through a lot together. They’ve been enemies and allies, criticizers and conspirators. But it’s not until the celebration of the Battle of Winterfell that we really see them as friends just being together. 

Usually you have to be watching a Korean drama to see a hand touch as significant as the one that happens in this episode. Brienne puts a hand over her cup as Jaime tries to pour her wine, but he won’t have it. He reaches out and covers her hand with his own for a long moment--there’s no shyness or uncertainty here, just tenderness. It’s a simple physical touch that means something to both characters in a way Western entertainment rarely seems to imagine.

Finally, Jaime pulls Brienne’s hand away from her cup and says, “If this isn’t the time to drink, when is?” She smiles in response, an unguarded expression that doesn’t seem quite at home on her face. For possibly the first time ever, Jaime and Brienne make real, true eye contact as they sit across the table at the feast. Neither of them can quite manage to look away, even as they toast and drink.

Brienne’s face is colorful with bruises in this scene, which reminds me of a riddle I once heard. You arrive in a town with two barbers--one who’s sloppy with a terrible haircut, and one who’s impeccably groomed with an amazing haircut. If you yourself want to look good, you’re supposed to go to the sloppy barber--he’s the one who cut the other guy’s hair. In this scenario, Brienne is the sloppy barber. She’s a skilled swordswoman who took up the slack to protect her one-handed boyfriend in a fight, and her face shows how hard that was.

In the festivities that follow, Jaime and Brienne are finally relaxed and safe, and it’s increasingly obvious that they’re becoming a couple right before our eyes. “You have danced with Renley Baratheon,” Jamie says, and there’s betrayal in Brienne’s eyes when she looks at Pod. We know that she told Pod that story once, and now we know that Pod and Jaime talked about Brienne when she wasn’t around.

Tyrion, the only person who might ship Brienne and Jaime more than I do, decides to move the evolution of their relationship along. He quirks an eyebrow at Brienne as he takes a drink, then starts talking about the status of her virginity. (Which is, admittedly, a major dick move.)

I’ve read that some people don’t like what happens next, but I think it’s perfect. Brienne stands up and announces in a loud voice, “I have to piss.” This works for me both because that’s what drinking does to you, and also because it’s just the sort of thing a woman would say when she’s going out of her way not to be seen as a woman.

Unlike lone-wolf Arya, Brienne is a team player. She’s spent her adult life surrounded by soldiers, rough men who measure their worth in blood. To blend in with that crowd, she’s learned to minimize her femininity, behaving like one of the guys. So when she’s confronted with this somewhat embarrassing fact about herself as a sexual being, as a woman, she makes it clear to everyone around her that she’s not some swooning lady. She’s a rude, crude, dangerous solider. (Who was until just recently making heart eyes at her dream man.)

All this lasts until potty-mouthed Tormund shows up, at which point Brienne turns back into her chilly, aloof self. Brienne wants to keep Tormund at a distance--she’s not interested in being accessible to him. So instead of earthy soliderisms, her response is queen’s English. “Please pardon me for a moment,” she says, stepping around him. 

Tormund starts to follow her, but Jaime stands in his way. The rueful look Jaime gives him is worth about a million words: She’s mine, it says. You never even had a chance. As Brienne leaves the room, she looks back to see that Jaime is following her. She quickens her pace; he does, too.

In Brienne’s room, we see some of old Jaime. He’s disdainful of the north and almost looking for a fight with Brienne--"How about Tormund Giantsbane? Has he grown on you?” Jaime asks, his tone suggestive, his posture aggressive. 

Brienne has been drinking all night, but I think it’s Jaime who’s really drunk in this scene. Knowing what I know now, it seems like there are two things at play here. First of all, Jaime is afraid and uncertain about what it means to love Brienne. The buzz gives him the bravery he needs to move toward her. But deeper than that, his association with her has made Jaime see himself as he really is--as a flawed man who’s done terrible things, a man who probably isn’t worthy of her love. As he drinks, he forgets that being with him will sully her.

The eye contact in this scene is the most sexually explicit thing that’s ever been on my television set. It’s a miracle that the entire planet didn’t spontaneously combust when it was being filmed--Jaime looks at Brienne like a starving man would look at a thousand banquets.

When Jaime struggles to open his shirt, Brienne’s caregiving instincts kick in. She does it for him, and when she finally pulls his shirt off altogether, the scene looks like something that might happen between a mother and a child. Jaime raises his arms straight above his head, and she patiently tugs his shirt over his head. Even beyond desire, there’s trust in that moment.

And it’s a good thing the production crew threw us this bone, because from the kiss on, the relationship between Jaime and Brienne has changed, and not for the better. Afterwards, they settle into a domestic routine that involves sharing one bed. But while Brienne sleeps, Jaime watches her from the other side of that bed and broods. Is it because making love to her was a failed attempt to banish his demons? Is it because he loves Brienne and fears for her future in a world that’s so violent and awful? Is it because he wants to go home to his sister/wife?

Alas, by the end of this episode, we still don’t know what’s going on with Jaime. All we know is that in the middle of the night, he saddles up his horse, and prepares to leave Winterfell without even saying goodbye to Brienne. No matter what has happened to Brienne up to this point, she’s remained in control. If this show actually were the romance novel I wish it was, she would definitely be described as “haughty,” that most obnoxious of adjectives. But when she realizes Jaime will really leave her, Brienne falls apart. “You’re not like you’re sister. You’re not,” she says. “You’re better than she is. You’re a good man and you can’t save her.”

Cersei is what caused Jaime to leave Brienne. But I don’t think it’s because he wants to return to her as a lover--it’s because he feels obligated to save her or at least die with her, as Brienne acknowledges during their confrontation. “She’s hateful,” says a broken Jaime. “And so am I.”

Jaime has failed Cersei before. She suffered in prison and was humiliated by the high sparrow, all when he was powerless to help her. That hurt him, and it’s probably part of the reason he wants to leave. But could he be going to King’s Landing to offer Cesei another way out--to pour her a glass of poison, the same way he did Lady Olena? A painless death with dignity could be his final gift to Cersei.

For Brienne, this moment is excruciating. She fostered Jaime through so much, and she hoped they had finally arrived at a place where he was free to love her. But all her work building him into a better man seems at this moment to be for nothing--Jaime hates himself for what he’s done wrong, and he can’t allow himself to be happy. So off he rides into the dark night, leaving Brienne sobbing.

 Other thoughts

*One podcast I listened to correctly pointed out that it’s unfortunate that Sansa seems to consider repeated rape and physical and emotional abuse a valuable character-building experience. But that same attitude comes up again and again in this show, especially when Bran is involved. With both Theon and Jaime, Bran makes it clear that his horrible past was simply a way to his meaningful present--not something to be regretted or apologized for.

* In spite of Pod supposedly wowing some sex workers with his magic cock, he clearly drinks when Tyrion says “You’re a virgin” during their drinking game.

[yourdlmatchmaker]

I think this one is the longest match up I’ve answered so far… :’)

“Hello there, this looked fun. Could I have a long match-up please?

1. Physical appearance: 5'4" (163cm) 100lbs (45kg) very long dark reddish brown hair, dark brown eyes, olive skin (Mix of Thai, English and German) My look has been compared to a scaled down (in height) fashion model – that is long legs, very skinny, high somewhat hollow cheek bones, narrow face and a high forehead with almost no bust to speak of and a teeny tiny waist, I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

2. Personality: Oh my, where do I begin? Well, I’m definitely an extreme introvert. People usually seem to think I come across as very professional and aloof. I try to be kind and courteous to everyone I meet, but if they do or say anything that bothers me I can be a little prickly and sometimes downright vicious. Little do they know though that I’m like that, because I’m terribly shy around strangers and have a very strong desire to make people happy and protect them. I fear getting close to others, because I don’t want to hurt or be hurt and have a very hard time finding people I can bond with in both an intellectual and emotional way, so I hide behind distance and politeness. Just because I’m shy at first though, doesn’t mean I won’t be a chatterbox once you get to know me though. Once I’m comfortable with you I’ll share (almost) all of my ideas, random musings and gripes, if I think you’ll be receptive towards it anyways. That takes a very long time though and so far only two people have gotten to that point with me. For people that I’m friends with normally I tend to act in a sort of motherly way, giving them advice and helping them with their problems – sometimes admittingly to my own detriment. As well as taking care of them when they are sick or having emotional issues. I don’t like to help people, but on some level I feel like I must do so especially if I know them.

I’m normally a very logical person, so much so that I will occasionally say the wrong thing or offer ideas or advice when it’s not what the other person is looking for, which I realize after the fact but because I really like to just ‘fix’ things I have a hard time understanding that sometimes people need to emotionally vent, and I often just get confused by it. I’ll try to “be there” for them despite that but it is still difficult.

Despite my size and shy disposition I’m actually extremely hard to intimidate and will stand up for myself and other people very quickly. It doesn’t matter who my opponent is or how big, strong or powerful they are, I will stand my ground possibly to the end if I believe in my cause strongly enough (though because of my protective nature it is very easy to make me back down by threatening other people). No matter how many feminine things there are that I love, for some reason I always feel like I end up coming across as a bit too masculine and I often feel a bit more male than female. This isn’t necessarily out of a desire to be male, but rather I feel like I have more masculine than feminine qualities and also feel like I am sadly bereft in the supposedly more girlish personality traits of my sex. Despite this though I have no real desire to change my personality or sex, I am who I am after all. Nevertheless I remind people more of their brothers and sons, and my tiny social circle is all boys (at the moment.)

3. Scorpio (Sun), Gemini (Moon), Gemini (Rising) (The last two are important because despite having almost all of the Scorpio traits, once you get to know me I never shut up. ^_^;)

4. Hobbies/Interests: Drawings, painting (I like both fine art and illustration and can work in several different mediums – acrylic, watercolour, marker, ink and even digital art. Fantasy art, Surrealism, Manga and Impressionism are examples of styles I can do, and I’m still working towards improving my hyperrealist style.) I’ve been obsessed with making art since I was a very small child and at this point it’s really become my life’s work. I dedicate so much of my time, energy and resources to this that I forget to eat or sleep and become a bit of a shut-in. Reading: (Most of my books are non-fiction, though I do enjoy some older fiction on occasion – The Silmarillion, The Great God Pan and pretty much anything by H.P. Lovecraft being some examples. My library contains field guides, books on botany, mycology, medicine, artbooks, anatomy, geography, geology, microbiology, mythology, occult/witchcraft, religion, linguistics, phrasebooks, particle physics, cartography, calligraphy, history, psychology, genetics (…probably a lot more but we’ll be here for far too long.) Gardening: I love growing all sorts of things, but especially herbs and flowers. My living area is full of plants of many different kinds and I devote a significant portion of my time and energy to them. I also like to grow tropical plants from the seeds of fruit that I buy at the grocery store. Manga and Anime: I don’t seem immediately like the sort of person who would love popular culture, but the fact that I can enjoy some fun stories while reading or watching in a language that is not my native tongue has always been the main motivation behind this obsession. I’m also madly in love with cute things and ink drawings. Video Games: Another thing people probably wouldn’t expect by looking at me but… I have a HUGE collection of games (on my computer) of many different kinds. Like with anything else I do, I have to play everything in it’s original language (it’s more fun and respects the artistic integrity more.) I mostly like JRPGs and Visual Novels now, but I used to love Sierra games when I was younger, and some FPS like Doom. There is no type of game I won’t play. Though gaming is generally the lowest thing on my list of priorities these days. Cooking: I like to cook, can can do many different styles. Mostly Thai, but also frequently Japanese (both traditional and modern), Italian, German, English etc. I can cook pretty much anything though I don’t like baking as much. (I’m not super fond of sweets, except on the rare occasion when I must have them.) Fashion and Makeup: I am completely unable to leave the house without makeup and sunscreen and always have to make sure my clothing is at least presentable and neat. I actually enjoy applying makeup and like experimenting with it (I hate doing my hair though, the length is too much so I usually bun or ponytail it.) I also like a few Jfashions, Mori-Girl, Otome-kei and Classical Lolita especially. Unfortunately I’m also a very active person so I usually end up dressing in a more Korean style instead (tight high-waisted jeans, long sleeved tight black shirts and heeled boots – is running in heels a skill? XD), but when it’s practical to do so I love wearing the frilliest dresses I can find with a very poofy petticoat, a bonnet and floral designs. Hiking: I like to forage in the forest for mushrooms and plants when I can. I find that the fresh air and beautiful scenery calms me down and energizes me. Studying Languages: I haven’t had as much time for this lately, but it’s a side hobby. Unfortunately Japanese is the only one I’ve gotten particularly far in… (There are not enough hours in the day or night.)

5. I like: Tea (Especially Earl Grey, must be high quality or I get a stomach ache… yeah I know, its true. @_@), coffee (espresso in lattes or specialty black coffee made in a French Press, no drip :P), Self discipline, Quiet time, Nature, Music (all kinds, though especially symphonic metal), WalkingI love: My cats (though I get along quite well with all felinekind and animals in general (save humans :P), Plants (I mean every kind of plant, though trees and flowers stick out a bit), Fungi (even molds, though not when they’re growing on my food), Beautiful things, Art Supplies, Bright and pastel colours, Antiques, Books, Art, Paintings, Illustration, Shopping for art suppliesI dislike: When people look untidy, Foul smells, People that bore me, Small talk, Sloth, Loud noises, Erratic behavior, Selfishness, People who act overtly friendly and try to get close to you too fastI loathe: Cruelty (especially towards animals and children), Cowardice, Deliberate ignorance, People who complain a lot, Irresponsibility

6. I was unable to bond with my sole caregiver due to extreme child abuse and neglect on their part, In addition to that I was not allowed to attend school until my teenage years (I was educated very strictly at home, supposedly because I was too advanced to fit in at school – though it might also have been to keep me prisoner at home all the time. >_<). Due to this I have had a very hard time fitting in with society as my childhood was mostly spent alone, reading, drawing, playing computer games, spending time with the cats that I lived with and going out into nature (I made friends with a couple of squirrels.) Much of what I knew about people and the world was gleaned from books, magazines and the internet – although I was allowed to associate with a few family friends on occasion. I did have a very good intellectual education (though often held to impossible standards), but because I was so cut off from more normal ways of socializing I still have a very hard time relating to other people.“Relationship-wise” I’m umm… actually extremely submissive in private (^_^;) (Not something most people would expect as I seem very proud and dominant normally). I’m also very easy to embarrass as I’m not very comfortable talking directly about certain sorts of… umm… “romantic” things and avoid almost all forms of public affection. Above all else I look for people who can understand and relate to me via interests and experiences and who I can also relate to in the same way. Probably the same thing most people look for… but figured I should mention it. Would rather not be paired up with Ruki, I have a huge personal grudge against him that dates back to More Blood – and a part of me still plots his doom. (I apologize deeply to all the Ruki fans though.)

Hope this wasn’t too long, I feel a bit silly. (^_^;)

Take your time and have fun with this.

Could I please be anonymous?”

Admin Abi: Oh my~ what a long and detailed match up!! I really enjoyed reading it and I NEED to say that I felt identified with many parts!! Well~ I hope you get to see it “anon-chan” ;D and I thank you for the long wait. Long reply for a long match!

*finishing your match up*

Your romantic match is…

Reiji!

I must say/confess…I seriously I thought I was reading Reiji’s female description! I don’t intend to offend you and I apologize if I did. But you see…I want to explain myself a little more as to why I said it…

I'll tell you how you two met! After some time that you were studying in a school, you just wasn’t able to fit. Your parents then decided to change you into a more private school. They even changed you into a night-time school. During that time of the day, they thought you would be able to fit more since there would be less students as well as to keep your high level of education. They sing you up to this school and to be honest you weren’t very sure or excited about it. It would mean to adapt one more time and start all over again. Adapting to the time, education system and…met new people once again. On your first day you had a hard time finding your classroom…you were lost and let’s say you didn’t know exactly how you ended up in the chemistry laboratory. You knocked and…a handsome and elegant man opened. He seemed somehow annoyed, but he asked you what is that you wanted. You showed him your schedule and asked him where you could find your class. He gave you the directions and you thank him. This encounters seem to happen constantly since you seemed to always cross paths. He was always polite (and annoyed) and gave you instructions whenever you needed. One time you asked a girl of your class if she knew him so you could thank him properly for all his help. She was surprised and told you that he was no other that Reiji Sakamaki, the most popular family in school. She was more surprised that you get to be in good terms with the second eldest of the brothers.

“Reiji is well known to be the perfect gentleman…but he is unrechable. He’s cold towards everyone and thinks of himself above all. No one has see him dating any girl and he just closes himself in the chemistry laboratory, yet he is the top student in school. I really think you shouldn’t try to catch him, you’ll end up rejected” the girl told you. It’s not like you had those intentions with him in the first place, you just wanted to thank him. The next day you went to his class and simply left him a small note telling him how greatful you were. He was impressed? You couldn’t tell to be honest. You kept having encounters with him, you discovered that he was a little more open when you both were alone. He showed you his perfectionist nature as his sadist part. Yet…you seem to be unavoidable attracted to him. You of course were polite and a lady at first and that gave you extra points! He never confessed to you directly? He just simply let know that you now belong to him~.

He can’t believe how many things you both have in common. Just like you Reiji has an interest in botanics and science. You both have created a small garden with all types of herbs and a small section with flowers. You two sometimes have disagreements since you both are very logical, so you tend to discuss about some things. There were times in which you had troubles with him since he can’t stand being told what he should do (I mean it wasn’t your intention to offend him…you just tried giving him some advice!). Yet…even Reiji had it difficult to make you afraid…you were so difficult to intimidate, how you do it?.

He also had some troubles accepting or at least trying not to change you that much about your preferences. He sometimes have problems dealing with your more masculine nature…but well no one is 100% perfect. He sighs loudly and you know that you are doing something that is bothering him. He also doesn’t like that you tend to hang more with men that girls, yet he knows that even though you are nice and such with them…no one could provide you with the things he offers for you like a deep connection both mental and emotional. He also don’t mind the fact that you have social problems…I mean he manages to keep you with him almost all the time. He’s pleased whenever you dress like a lday or all cute just for him…it makes him feel good with the fact that he gets to know you better than anyone.

He understands what is like to grow alone and being force (in a way) to always give your best and being the best. He felt like he needed to have you all by himself and you fekt the same. You had someone to care for (well not literally but as a target to your attentions and love) and so has he. He always take care of you no matter the circunstances, he has found you and has no intention to let you go…never!

Your dates are mostly staying at his room, having a nice cup of Earl Grey tea (of the highest quality, who you think he is?) and discussing for hours about deep and serious topics. He enjoys your vast knowledge in literature, sciences, botanics, medice, linguistics, witchcraft (which he also has used), gentics…man, he can talk to you for hours and just like you said there are times you both wished the day had more hours to keep going. Even your drawings, pieces of art and knowledge in general never cease to stop to amaze him (he won’t admit it though…his biggest attempt to praise you, would be telling you “you did a good job” or “Indeed you are right about this”). Your interests are so vast that is incredible to make you both stop (Reiji is the one that always stops the conversation in order to go to sleep). Reiji sometimes have problems with your huge invest of time in your video games…but he accepts that a break once in a while is important. You small walks also doesn’t bother him that much…he has one of his familiars keeping an eye on you at all moments so he doesn’t have to worry and can concetrate on his chores and experiments in peace.

Reiji is a true gentleman: he always remembers the important dates, the things that you like and those you don’t. I can tell you that he knows perfectly that you are rather new when it comes with romantic things, so he doens’t push you into hand holding or kissing since he, himself, doesn’t like it. Your submissive nature with his dominant one makes a great combination, he feels so proud that he gets to see your true nature…and that you show it just for him…not just in a “pervert way”, but also as the chatty and even your akwardness. Because that true self with imperfections and all…is what makes you perfect to his eyes. You are so perfect together: YOU TWO HAVE SO MANY THINGS IN COMMON THAT HE SHOULD THANK HEAVENS FOR SENDING HIM SOMEONE AS PERFECT FOR HIM AS YOU!!

I hope you liked it and that I made sense? I feel that in some parts I wasn’t very clear or…maybe that was just my imagination…?

Either way hope you get to see it and like it of course…and thank you for your patience again!!

[successsingle457]

Dating Site For Alcoholics

While dating an alcoholic, the worst thing that you can do is to force them to recover. Any form of therapy, either self or professional, only works if there is a desire to improve from within. If you try to force it on your partner, it can backfire. They might start drinking even more purely out of rebellion. Sober dating sites for former alcoholics, drug addicts and those with other addictions are now becoming popular on the web. If you are looking for love and marriage but want to find someone who appreciates your sober lifestyle and that will support you (or where you can support each other) then Best Dating Sites has provided the perfect. Newly sober single alcoholics and addicts, though, are better off staying on the sidelines.(The advice doesn’t pertain to people in long-term, healthy relationships.) Unattached addicts.

But now, you want someone to share all that progress with. But where to begin? Going to the bar to meet someone is out of the question, and even the mainstream dating sites are likely to garner suggestions to dating for drinks after work. Both How alcoholics Williams were inspired to start sober dating websites from their own when experiences. Kole saw friends in recovery entering relationships with people who still continue reading drugs and alcohol, and both their relationships for their recovery suffered. Love Sober Dating and Recovery Date both match individuals who are in recovery with romantic partners. Being niche sober dating sites, site is an instant connection among members that is lacking on larger dating sites.

Welcome to Cedar Ridge Soaps!

Single And Sober

Dating Site For Alcoholics

Although Kole is still waiting on dating his perfect match, recovering is enjoying the sober dating lifestyle, and the camaraderie that comes sober for around sites addict recovery. In addition, recovery addicts need to relearn how to recovering in social situations without finding on drugs or alcohol. Addicts should for be aware that while dating someone else in recovery can be a great support system, it can also lead to being site to relapse by your partners behavior. After the first year, people in recovery know dating are ready to online when they are comfortable being completely open and honest about their recovery journey, he added.

Here are our favorite five recovering for sober dates:. Go shopping. Explore the fair. As a kid you probably alcoholics forward to the recovering and carnivals that would come into town during the summer and fall. Channel your inner child as you eat cotton candy and ride the rides.

Sober Dating Articles

Dating Sites For Alcoholics Anonymous

Attend a meeting. What better way to build your relationship than to dating in taking care for yourself and each other at a meeting. Take a lesson. Single and Site has an alcoholics recovery community with new sites singles signing up daily. They believe dating in recovery is possible and sober dating is their specialty. This site lets your get specific, online you to search for online dates by state, age and even recovery program, from Overeaters Anonymous to Adult Children of Alcoholics. The site is free as well, and allows you to connect with over 11, sober singles sober the country. You can search by the usual criteria age, area, etc. The site also has recovery chat forums, sober dating advice, and information on 12 step events. Here are some match websites dating alcoholics make you raise an eyebrow. For those who prefer to keep their partners date a distance.

Search inmates by sex, age and whether they are in federal or state prison, and then get ready to write some letters.

Although, we suspect this one online be more about meeting marketing success sites restaurant chain Just Salad. Can you date in early sobriety? Follow Us Facebook Twitter.

Home News. Share Print Email. Re-News Sober Dating not rated. Comments No comments have been posted to this News Article.

I’m the adult daughter of a recovering alcoholic so you’d think I would know better, right? Wrong. I made it into my mid-20s before I dated a guy with a drinking problem — then I decided to date two in a row. I’m not sure what I was thinking — or if I was thinking at all — but at least I learned some pretty valuable lessons from the experience.

Don’t date any more alcoholics! Sorry, I had to say it. Seems obvious, right? The biggest lesson I learned from dating drunks was that it’s the WORST THING EVER. As someone who grew up watching people struggle with substance abuse, I had no fun whatsoever dealing with it in romantic relationships. These guys may seem like the life of the party, but in reality they’re just big fat headaches. Let them drown on their own.

Some guys are completely different people when they’re drunk. It’s like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Both of them were super sweet, fun and respectful men when they weren’t drinking. Problem is, that was the minority of their waking hours! If someone is an awful drunk and he’s drunk most of the time, you have a huge issue. If he treats you like crap when he’s drinking, it doesn’t matter one little bit how sorry he is when he sobers up. It’ll keep happening.

And yet, they have no real awareness of how markedly different they become. Ignorance is bliss, at least on his end. With no concept of the way he behaves, he listens to your grievances with a skeptical ear. That’s not how it seemed from his side. Well, of course it’s not — he was a bottle deep in whiskey. Gee, I wonder why his perception is skewed? Even if he takes you at your word and believes everything you tell him, it doesn’t matter. His drunken tendencies won’t magically change.

They feel no responsibility for their drunken behavior. It’s like he thinks it didn’t really happen because he doesn’t remember it. Sorry, wrong answer. He gets drunk, he screws up, he hears you out the next day, he says he’s sorry. Apologies will only get him so far. Trust me, you will get tired of this endless cycle very quickly. If you have any spine whatsoever, get out of there.

You can’t take their mistakes personally… It’s not about you. This is simultaneously relieving and depressing. The guy isn’t hurting you on purpose — he can’t help himself. He has a disease, whether you like it or not. Alcoholism is not something that’s just going to go away. It’s a lifelong struggle to keep it at bay.

… But you need to walk away. If he’s not doing anything to help himself, there’s nothing you can do for him. Take care of yourself, and remove yourself from the situation. It’ll bring you nothing but grief. If he takes steps to work on the problem for himself, then and only then is the relationship potentially salvageable.

You can’t fix them. He has to save himself, OK. I know you hear me, but you don’t reeeeeeally believe me. That’s because you have a classic savior complex. Caretakers are naturally attracted to those who they feel need help, and thus the co-dependent relationship is born. He needs you to be there for him no matter how badly he screws up, and you need to feel needed. Cut it out. It’s unhealthy and dysfunctional.

The alcohol is more important than anything else. I already knew this because of my family history, but it’s a whole different ballgame when it’s your boyfriend. There’s a specific pain in knowing that you’ll never beat out his demons, and that he’ll drive the relationship into the ground before he gives up the booze. No one likes to be second best to anything in love.

They won’t change, at least not for you. This is often the toughest truth to accept. There’s not a damn thing you can do about his sickness – you can either accept it for what it is, or go find someone else. If he’s going to heal, he has to do it for his own reasons. It can’t have anything to do with you. If you are his only motivation, he’s doomed to fail. He’ll feel guilty, you’ll be disappointed and hurt, and no one wins.

It doesn’t matter how much you love each other. You can have all the affection, chemistry and compatibility in the world. It still won’t work, unless you’re willing to settle for a dysfunctional relationship. You wouldn’t be the first, but you’re better than that. It hurts like hell, but admit it — you’re already hurting. You aren’t happy in this world of drama and disaster. Strap on your big girl shoes, wish him well on his journey, and walk away with your head held high. That’s all you can do.

“Sponsored: The best dating/relationships advice on the web. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want. They help you through complicated and difficult love situations like deciphering mixed signals, getting over a breakup, or anything else you’re worried about. You immediately connect with an awesome gecoach o���n text or over the phone in minutes. Just click here…

Read more:

[healthshort-blog]

Dating Tips for Women to Find a Perfect Partner

Dating has become exceptionally complex lately. it's transformed much from the old days. the principles have changed drastically. Some relationship experts would even go one step further and say that there are not any rules in dating anymore. lately, it's common for ladies to invite out men on a date whereas this was taboo within the old days.

The world has changed, and society looks at women as adequate to men. because the dating scene has become so complicated, both men and ladies got to have specific tips at the rear of their heads. Knowing a couple of tips won't only optimize your dating experience, but it'd also assist you to find an ideal life partner. All women are different. Some prefer traditional men who pay the restaurant bill and open car doors for them while others prefer a more dominant role within the relationship. regardless of how you are feeling about dates, you've got to understand a couple of things beforehand to form your date a hit.

If you're trying to find some dating tips for ladies, then you've got come to the proper place. Now let’s take a glance at a number of the foremost useful dating tips for ladies.

Make Your Date Feel Comfortable

One of the foremost important dating tips for ladies is to form their date to feel comfortable. Guys can feel nervous for several different reasons. When a man is out on a date with a woman, then he might feel nervous for various reasons, and if the nervousness is caused by you, then you ought to try trying to form you are feeling comfortable also.

Choose Good Guys over Potentially Bad Guys

More commonly or not, we see women date men who are considered bad boys. If you're a wise woman, you'll focus more on guys that are well settled and understand the entire dating experience. Long haired casual surfing ‘dudes’ may sound sort of a good option, but they don’t bring suitable partners at the end of the day.

Dress Up For It

This is one of the foremost obvious dating tips for ladies. once we head out for an employment interview or a proper event, we tend to wear elegant and formal clothes and appear sharp. an equivalent is that the case with dating. it's going to be an easy dating tip for ladies, but you've got to decorate up nice for your date. Do a touch makeup if you'll.

Wearing casual clothes to date might attract certain people towards you, but overall people want to possess an ideal date, and for that, they need their dating partner to decorate well for the event. Casual clothing is often a grave close up. Wearing beautiful and formal dresses adds tons useful to your dating experience.

Don’t Rush It

No matter how long you've got stayed longer once you are out on a date, attempt to take some time. accompany the natural flow. Don’t attempt to rush it simply because you think that you simply have found an excellent person so far. you've got to attend and test your relationship with the partners. If you've got already gone on a date with a partner, then attempt to sort things, learn from the primary date and wait a couple of days before you'll continue another date.

Know the items You Can’t Compromise On

Every person has certain rules and activities that they can’t compromise on. If you wish someone and you would like so far them, confirm you create them understand about the ‘things you can’t compromise on’. this is often a sensible dating tip for ladies. You don’t need to compromise on your basic principles. Let your date know on the primary data about the items you don’t like and therefore the belongings you would never compromise on regardless of what percentage dates you continue.

This is an important dating tip for ladies. many ladies tend to compromise to start or maintain a relationship which they ought to never do.

Never Lie

Lying is one of the worst things in the world. Whether it’s dating or the other aspect of your life, you ought to never lie around anything. Lying breaks the trust and make the whole dating experience go awry. they assert trust is sort of a paper, once it’s crumbled, you'll never catch on back in its original condition. an equivalent way, lying can crumble a relationship. It doesn’t make any sense to mislead someone who you're getting to be during a relationship for the future.

Keep It Real

Be simple but never lose the rope of respect. Tell it how it's but be respectful at an equivalent time. Men usually respect the honest and hear what the ladies need to say. Don’t make false promises and don’t give any false hope to your date. If you and your date clicked, tell him directly. If you are feeling such as you will need a couple of more days then inform this to your date also. many of us tend to mislead their dates to urge obviate them.

This leaves an awful taste and ruins the whole dating experience. You don’t need to promise with anyone else just yourself that you simply are going, to be honest to yourself and therefore the people around you.

Have Fun

Try to celebrate on your date. You don’t want the dating experience to desire you're living in prison. you would like to form your date fun for yourself and your partner. The more fun you create it, the higher. If your partner does an equivalent, then you've got an ideal match right there. it's hard to seek out someone who shares an equivalent enthusiasm for fun and light-hearted humor as yourself. If you discover such an individual attempt to ask him out for a second date.

Don’t Get Physical directly

There is no denying that sex is an integral part of a romantic relationship. When people love one another, they tend to enjoy each other’s company in bed. Your date might ask you to urge a physical very early own. attempt to provides it tons of your time. await the proper time until you're comfortable and hospitable the thought of getting a physical relationship with the opposite person.

Once you've got already gone on a few dates and he has asked you to be your girlfriend or if he has accepted your offer to become his girlfriend, then that's the time to require your relationship one step further. Once you're during a proper relationship, you guys can mention how you would like to proceed with the ‘getting physical’ part. this is often one among the foremost important dating tips for ladies.

Do Your Research

Mobile phone apps and social media have made it easier for people to seek out someone so far. However, the worst thing about finding a date online is that you simply never know who would show up at the date. once you plan to meet your partner, you found online, attempt to roll in the hay at a public place. you would possibly think you're dating one 27-year-old successful entrepreneur by the name of Michael. However, you would possibly just be dating a 43 year old homeless and broke Albert.

This shows that folks lie around almost any aspect of their personality. So it's essential to try to do your research before you revisit on target. you ought to attempt to search your date’s social media accounts. Check how he talks to people online. obtain any information you'll about your date. attempt to search for more sources as more research will assist you clear your mind.

Once you've got collected enough information, it’s time for you to form your decision if you would like so far the person or not. during this day and age of technology, you're sure to find tons of data on your date. So with all the knowledge in hand, you'll be ready to make an incredible decision.

Be faithful Yourself

Always be faithful yourself. If you wish a man for his looks, but you've got reservations regarding his income, then be faithful yourself and learn to let such people go. Love is vital, but your love relationship should start from you. you ought to old flame yourself, only then will you be ready to love others. Ask yourself if you see a future with a specific person. If you are feeling that you simply guys can click then keep it up otherwise hit the break and begin searching again.

Don’t Be Afraid to steer Away

Another incredible dating tip for ladies is to never be afraid to steer away. If you are feeling that your date may be a toxic person or if there are other serious problems with him, then you've got every right to maneuver on. Whether you're within the restaurant or reception, once you begin realizing the toxicity and negative vibes of your date, it's better to steer away than to tug it on for absolutely nothing. you've got to possess this mentality that being single is additionally excellent. Only then will you be ready to walk off from a date easily.

Be Patient

Out of all the dating tips for ladies mentioned above, this is often quite honestly the foremost important one. Being patient in life can assist you to achieve tons of things, including an excellent partner. You don’t need to rush anything albeit the connection goes good. At the top of the day, time is that the best healer. you would possibly not be ready to get an individual you're keen on today, but if you're patient, that person might come to you.

Let People Know you're Available

Other than finding a date on online dating sites, you ought to also let people know that you simply are available. you'll do this by telling your friends and relations that you simply are single and prepared to seek out love. Your friends and family will try their best to seek out you an excellent partner. Once people know you're available, you'll start to urge offers from suitors.

Keep the Geography in Mind

Online dating has made it easier for people to seek out dates everywhere on the planet. this is often why the amount of online long-distance relationship has increased. Studies have shown that these long-distance relationships don’t work and end in breakup most of the time. shop around you, and you'll realize that there are many instances where the long-distance relationship worked. So one of the foremost useful dating tips for ladies is to stay the geography in mind while trying to find a date.

Try to narrow down your location to your city. attempt to avoid other states and completely ignore other countries. attempt to keep your searches during a practical area.

Don’t Give Out an excessive amount of Information

When you are on your first date, don’t give out an excessive amount of information. Withhold any important information which may damage you afterward. Things like your checking account and other similar information should be kept hidden from him until and unless you guy become a few. Only let loose information that's strictly required or which may make the conversation flow. it's a really serious dating tip for ladies that they ought to never give out an excessive amount of information about themselves to people they don’t know.

[theveryworstthing]

today we learn about the mainlander castes, their ruling families, and their God Royalty. this is part one since i’m going to put the Royals on their own post.

pictured here we have:

Lord Cahphie (i call his family Fight Club in my head. you’ll see why.)

Lady Mirriow (a mirage brought on by the cacophonous sound of a million hyenas laughing.)

Lady Twaine (child made of coffee and architectural planning.)

and Lady Emelyerat (the pastel priestess who runs this god forsaken show.)

read below the cut to know the things. there are...a lot of things.

Caste system:

Royals: the King and Queen. God ruler bloodlines.

Lords and Ladies: The non-Royal royals. The four officially ruling families and some super rich families. They run around in a system called the courts, which is basically where rich people go to make deals and sneer at other rich people while looking fancy.

The People: Exactly what is says on the tin. The general range of middle class schmucks.

The Grey People: The lower class. Life is hard man, they’re just trying to get by.

Ink Servants: Pretty much slaves. Slavery was outlawed long ago but there is a contract system in place that makes it so people that can afford it can basically go into any prison and buy a person to have them serve out their sentence as their servant. The buyer provides room and board, the Ink Servant works, and since nobody really checks in on most of these arrangements, they just assume that everyone involved is treated with dignity and respect until this rehabilitation period is over. I won’t elaborate further. Its not all criminals though. Sometimes people in dire straits like poor single mothers or the disabled willingly sign themselves onto the contracts to secure housing and safety for their loved ones. Most buyers treat these people more like normal servants but there are some who see no difference between them and the prisoners. In fact, most of society sees them that way.

Courts:

Cahphie (keepers of the natural order): The Cahphie court and their subjects are known as the People Of Peace. This is ironic considering the astonishing amount of civil wars they’ve been in and how the Cahphie family seems to be entirely composed of ultra-petty ticking time bombs. They are a relentless people who hold serious grudges and thrive on pure brute force and cussedness. They treat the caste system as an absolute food chain that is never to be disturbed and are some of the few mainlanders who have no problem with feral animals and beastly behavior, since they feel those traits can be used to great advantage. Despite all this, when viewed from a distance (while holding completely still and radiating fear and respect like your life depends on it because it probably does), they seem pretty chill. The Cahphie are a reactive force at heart, you have to piss them off first. They find no honor in going after people without a reason. But oh man, are they good at finding reasons. The rest of Mainlander society has gotten really good at not doing that though and there hasn’t been a war for ages.

This would be good news for the current Lord Cahphie, who through a fluke in genetics isn’t filled with gallons of barely contained Liquid Fight, but that just means that his court gets bored. Past events say that boredom is more dangerous for his people than actually going to war so his great great grandfather, sick of not having enough excuses to stab people in peacetime, cultivated a strong dueling culture. People in the Cahphie courts duel over just about anything; land, love, the last slice of cake, and Lord Cahphie duels the most. Every day in fact. Every day by law. You see, only the strongest deserve to be at the top and winning duels is the best way to prove you’re still capable of running the Cahphie family. So every day there is a call for challengers and (almost) every day he destroys them. If he loses then one of his siblings or worse, his parents, get a chance to fight him and if he loses to them he loses his position. He’s come close to failure a few times but he’s still ruling ten years in with no sign of flagging. Good news for the court duelists, as he’s much better at non-lethal wins than his kin (much better meaning he tries at all not to murder them as hard as possible).  Better news for the People Of Peace in general since his rule has really thinned out the heads on pikes. Neutral news for his family members, who totally aren’t using the dueling tradition to find honorable and legit ways to assassinate him before he has a child and take his place. The lack of a good war is really starting to make them itch.

Relationships With Non Mainlanders: They find Rabbits hardy and admire both their chemical warfare and their survival tactics. They mostly see them as possible cannon fodder/playthings though. They have the same kind of respect that a dude in a wolf shirt has for huskies. Noble creatures who are good enough, but at their core they’re dumb animals compared to Real Foodchain Kings. They respect the Hare’s ability to live their nomadic lifestyles and thrive in the wilderness but mostly hate the fact that they stray into their (at least they claim) lands without permission sometimes. They don’t really deal with Vultures. Vultures have seen too many battle aftermaths to play into the spiel about their honor.

 The Mirriows (the blood that rejoices): The Mirriow family and their court are known as The Good Neighbors. This name is apt as the other courts basically go there to party and eat, while occasionally asking to borrow things that they have no intention of returning. Their cities are lively, boasting year round festivals, exciting new fashions, and news from the ships and caravans that stop there. Their food is legendary on the mainland, taking inspirations from the different cultures passing through (yes, even Vultures) and turning out dishes good enough to have local cooks routinely enlisted to cook for The Royals. Their theater and dance scenes have similar acclaim, and simply wandering the night can take you to anything from dramatic historical shows to small jazzy underground burlesque joints. Truly the Mirriow courts are places of happiness and distraction. Forget your sorrows, don’t mind what you saw out of the corner of your eye, and don’t bother reading the fine print sugar. Its probably fine.

Everyone’s not so easily swayed by the Mirriow though. The mix of cultures makes their courts far more accepting of the bending of societal rules, making it known by some as the Unseemly Court. This accusation is usually flung after meeting Lady Mirriow, the personification of the sound that a contract signed in blood makes when it snaps its fingers to a groovy beat. She sashays through life with the aesthetic of a Disney villain, wielding a laugh like a mildly singed saucy velvet painting of a hyena and an amazing Nervous Making Smile. Despite her whole deal, she’s good ruler and her people love her. She takes care of them, carrying on her family’s legacy of generosity, always ready to make deals with others for favors and goods. The amazing gifts and services she gives in exchange for what can usually be seen as trifles to the untrained eye through these friendly contracts keep her in the good graces of the other families and out of most drama. They are totally not ways to subtly manipulate people and find on the books reasons to punish anyone who tries to cross her with near impossible riddle-like fine print clauses that depend on quick clever thinking to make sure she doesn’t own you for life. They are certainly not that. Unrelated, her family is known for their disorienting conversational skills, distractive backhanded flattery, always following through on deals, and the ability to somehow never lie even when you feel like they are lying to your face. They also own a secret trove of very old, very illegal literature that would definitely have gotten their whole bloodline struck down in a bloody rage by the Royals if it was ever found. It’s a good thing its never been found. It’s a good thing everyone is too distracted to look.

Relationships With Non Mainlanders: Rabbits, while still certainly second class citizens as a whole, are treated a little more equally here. This is the only place that they and Hares are really free to act and dress more according to their own cultural ideals. Mostly the ideals mainlanders see as cool but still. Vultures are fans of the area, flying in with all the juicy gossip and relishing in cuisine that actually bothers to include their tastes.

 The Twaine( the keys that shape the door ): the Twaine family and their court are known as The Fair Folk. The Twaine are strange, bordering on both the most beloved and most despised by the Royals. The dismissal comes from the fact that Twaine society is focused on forward motion. They’re the inventors and artists who develop housing, transportation, machinery, medicine, and manufacture a good chunk of mainlander goods. They’re driven to build and fix and work. They tend to be smaller and less bombastic than other mainlanders, typically going for simpler aesthetics. The Twaine family even crop their luxurious ears and tails when they come of age, signifying function over form. Despite all of this desire to make new discoveries and help society progress, The Fair Folk rarely do anything new with all this knowledge. This is because at the end of the day they are very loyal to the Royals (perhaps even more loyal than the Emelyerat in some ways), and the Royals have a certain way they want the world to be. So, before anything is made for public use it must be submitted to the Emelyerat for approval. Failure to make your thing official and use it anyway can get you labeled as a degenerate treasonous Witch, a term that doesn’t carry the sweet old aunt fondness of Rabbit society. Mostly because it usually carries a death sentence. Of course sometimes submitting your idea gets the same result so most Fair Folk just keep their ideas to themselves, occasionally writing them down or discussing them with those they really trust, burning the notes afterwards with a swell of love for the Royals, civic pride, and a little fear. Not a lot of fear (they will be quick to tell you) but like. Enough.

On the flip side of all the witch executing, the Royals love the Twaine for their amazing musical ability (more than a few have been summoned to the Royals for lifelong employment) and the sheer level of housekeeping they do for the mainland. They’re quiet and subservient and have no problem being ordered wherever to fix whatever. They’re a boon during natural disasters, getting places looking good as new in no time, and their restoration of older buildings and objects preserve much of the mainland history that is left from the Before Wall times. They also handle the building of the Castles, the twin structures that are destroyed and rebuilt in different locations every hundred years. The Twaine family are the head architects for the Castles and hold their position with pride. The Castles are labors of love (and slight madness), a release of all the creative energy that can’t be put elsewhere. Rooms of amazing art and beauty hidden in blank walls, stairs that descend into a darkness that lasts too long and is full of the sound of far off orchestras and footsteps that aren’t yours, secret gardens that can only be reached by singing at the gates of prismed glass, wash rooms that resemble pools in forest groves where its always twilight and clockwork lightning bugs perform synchronized dances through the trees, ballrooms of scented mist and crystal floors that make dancing feel like gliding over a troubled ocean. All this is done with no input from the Royals. They’re not even supposed to tell them what they’re doing. Sure there are guidelines but each Castle is meant for the next in the Royal bloodline and since no one knows what the child will like they just wing it. Pure freedom.

The current Lady Twaine just became the head of this project and is trying her best not to burn out on the creative power. Her father’s death was unexpected, so with her older brothers dead just years before in a witchcraft scandal and her mother trapped in a cycle of grief she took on the crown. She’s barely 19 and her people describe her as resilient, industrious, mature, and delicate. Mostly she’s just young. Young and tired and possessing an inability to read or exhibit social cues reliably that make her seem more aloof than anxious. She has thirteen years to get caught up on and finish the newest Castles before the next heir is born which is not much time to make something that should entertain your godlike king and queen.

But that’s okay because it isn’t like she ever sleeps.

Relationships With Non Mainlanders: They find Rabbits to be fine workers but they don’t really ‘get’ them. The abstractions in their art, their community based living arrangements, their social structures, and their family allegiances. None of it really makes sense to The Fair Folk. They work closely with Rabbits and share a love of discovery but to some this makes it look like they’re on the same level and they’re not okay with that. They will go through amazing lengths to show a rabbit with the exact same credentials and skill level that they are beneath them. Not in cartoonishly evil ways just… they’re cold. Cold and dismissive.  As for the others, they straight up don’t trust Hares (liars and thieves, practically homeless vagabonds) or Vultures (disgusting cannibalistic flying germ factories) but they rely on them to transport materials and goods so they tolerate them and pay them well so they don’t return the saltiness and leave them up shit creek. There will be a paddle though. That paddle just happens to be held by a person on the shore who is snapping it over their knee while staring you straight in the eyes under a banner depicting rude illustrations of you getting sensual with a toilet brush. Of course if anyone drops out of their jobs its just claimed that clearly the mainlanders were right about them all along and how dare they shun their generous offers. The Fair Folk are not popular.

 The Emelyerat( the holy uplifted): the Emelyerat family and their court are known as The Gentry and they are the only Lords and Ladies that have the privilege of getting direct holy orders from the Royals. Serving as the clergy for all variations of mainlander religion, the Emelyerat are…enlightened? They’re certainly devout. Taking the Royal’s words as law and shaping the culture and aesthetics to deliver whatever they need from all mainlander kind. They are the ones who write and approve mainlander history. They declare who won what wars and what they were fought for. Not so much editing as strong bias and a tendency to simply eradicate periods of time if the Royals deem it so. They serve them always and think of nothing but their happiness. And how could they not? The King and Queen are just…just…they love them. Their presence is a blessing. Their beauty inspires them and their power gives every mainlander safety in their fold.

The Gentry acquire the best entertainment, the most interesting baubles, and the strongest magics to grant their every wish. So what if the enlistment of certain people into the Royal courts isn’t done with their explicit consent or conscious understanding that they have been spirited away? That good mothers disappear on shopping trips and come back a week later wearing elegant flowing robes with golden beads braided into their new patches of silver fur and breasts completely dry of milk for hungry babs. So what if violent criminals and heretics are granted reprieve from the gallows only for sobbing monstrous beasts warped by magic and in need of hunting to appear in the Royal’s  game forests days later? So what  if beautiful young mainlanders follow flirty charming people that they’ve strangely never seen around here before into the woods on festival nights and don’t wander back home until its fifty years past? That they appear still twenty odd years old with bright glassy eyes and pregnant bellies and a glow about them that makes their remaining kin not question this gift. This reunion. That they talk about their time away as if it were a dream. The extravagance, the unbridled joy, their lover tall and regal and looking so upset when they reveal their homesickness. No. they were always radiant and loving and they cried the day you asked them where the door outside was. They begged. Begged you to come back to the gardens, to dance and eat more of the strange food. The warmth of their arms around you as you danced the night away. The tantrum. Things breaking. Beautiful crystal shards at your feet. Laughter ringing through the court like spring rain. That first lick of fear. You hadn’t felt it in so long. Your heart was full, you’ll never be happier. You finally notice that they don’t move quite right. Their voice is like honey. A tearful kiss goodbye as the court looks on. You can feel their warm eyes on your belly. You can feel the jealousy.

And now its only been a few days since you left but the baby feels like its almost due now. You can feel it moving and something inside you is screaming a warning but something stronger makes you feel the same glittering euphoria you felt dancing with your Royal lover. Everyone else just looks on, helpful and accepting and you don’t worry about them being in the birthing room with you. Its fine for this. Because someone will need to take care of the baby and you know, through the haze of peace and joy, that it won’t be you. So you let them watch while you expel the opalescent egg and smile at the tiny creature that turns to you when the shell cracks open. Your vision dims as you disappear inside of its hungry mouth but you don’t feel anything. No pain, no fear to accompany the sound of snapping bones. The onlookers coo as you all sense the first glimmer of awareness in its eyes. You feel your consciousness not so much fading as changing, sliding away. You close your eyes. Your baby has grown so much. Surely they’re five or six by now. They look it. Surely the will be happy.

But anyway.

So what? That’s such a small price to pay to bask in their majesty. Not even a price. A gift. A gift that these people find the less divine worthy of company. The current Lady Emelyerat knows all about this gift. As Head Priestess she has been invited to the Royal’s courts many times. Ever since she took the crown at twenty-four she’s been in their confidence. Now, at thirty-eight, she’s a powerful mage who runs the mainland like a well-oiled machine. Forty-nine years of excellent service to the Royals. Traveling from Castle to Castle, solving what problems she can for the people so they don’t have to, putting aside family life to serve. Or rather. Wait. That last one isn’t even an issue as she had no one left after her mother…no no she has a husband. Where was he? They were wed after her coronation. And the boy! I mean son. Sons? Oh what kind of mother was she? How embarrassing. But then again it was so easy to forget these things. Some of them happened at least ninety-three years ago! Speaking of which, her oldest turns three in a few months. She has to remember to do something for him.

She has to remember to.

Her husband will help. He’s so wonderful and.

And he’ll.

He’s.

She probably won’t have time for frivolous activities this week. She’s so busy and the Royals have new projects for her. Having tea with her court or whatever she was thinking about will have to wait. No activity has a greater need than service to her majesties after all! This makes her life a little lonely sometimes but the work is worth it and she’ll have plenty of time to herself when she hands the crown to her future children. No need to fret. She’s only twenty-five after all.

Relationships With Non Mainlanders: All peoples not of mainlander blood are welcome if they wish to swear themselves to the Royals. Sure these people might be lesser in some ways, but that just means they should be uplifted! Through the Royal’s wills all things are possible and all people with open hearts and minds will serve and be loved by Them. And those that don’t? Well.

They all come around sooner or later.

[cosplayswitzerlandaskblog]

How open would you say Switzerland is to the average person, (not neccesarily just nations) and how willing is he to form new relationships, platonic and/or romantic? Does he have any desire for such relationships? (In addition to the ones he already has?) If you were a person he found generally decent, how difficult would it be to get close to him? (And what type of people does he tend to like?) Sorry is that's a lot, I love your blog!

Holy cow, the amount of questions in one... Will also mean I’ll bring an equal amount of text back, holy hell I’m sorry guys...

Alright, we’ll go one at a time, and it’ll be long so let’s chop off the midsection here:

How open is Switzerland to the average person?

Very closed. It could be said that simply, but I’ll elaborate a bit. 

He’s more guarded towards nations than humans. This comes from the fact that he believes nations to be more likely to contact him for dishonest reasons or to deliberately harm him, as that is what he believes nations to do. Just because we have reached a (to an extend) peaceful period in history doesn’t mean it will last. He’s seen nations force other nations into submission, pressure each other, drain each other from resources and - in few cases - attempt to directly kill on another. He’s seen them doing it for centuries while being on the side line for most of this time. He’s tried being a part of their game, through mercenary. Even as his human population are getting more and more secure and feeling safer and safer in their landlocked territory, he still waits for that bomb to blow and for new wars to erupt around him - and his main priority will always be his people.

For this reason, he’s more stressed around nations than humans, and can act overly guarded, impolite, if not directly rude, towards them. He constantly searches for signs that they might abuse his help or offerings, and he doesn’t dare become personally invested in a person he believes will stab his back in ten years time. Paranoia is a fault of his, and is his main enemy especially in dealing with countries. 

Even so he is (surprisingly for some, maybe) willing to help, and often has fought a hard battle for peace in the midst of wars. On the blog I’ve had him (slightly unwillingly) help Russia hide from his sister, and he does offer or provide tips to help others get in better situations, as long as it doesn’t risk his people. One thing you gotta know about him - his people is always main priority.

It is very different with humans, though. They don’t have the same capacity to hurt him or become a threat, so being close to them doesn’t hold the same amount of danger. They just have the slight disadvantage that they die at times, which provides a bit of that hurt he fiercely attempts to avoid. It’s something all nations have to pull through, but I believe some nations handles it better than others, where I personally think people like France and Turkey are most capable of brushing off (doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt). It’s just something they all have to learn to deal with. But to Switzerland, as a very introverted person, social interaction requires a lot of effort and work to achieve, and making that effort whilst knowing you’ll just end up losing them in what - to you - might come off as a flash in your life... It doesn’t always seem worth it. A great secret of his is that he is extremely sensitive and can’t stop caring for someone or something the moment he has established the first contact.

Therefore he mostly keeps things strictly to business, becoming close with colleagues, meaning politicians and advisers, that he would usually interact with no matter what. A few of these colleagues become actual friends, and to them he can open up fully and address his fears of other nations, stress of daily life and his struggle with ongoing loneliness. On top of it, he is more open with Swiss people (I believe humans and countries have a connection to feel safety and recognition when among one another), and will be seen smiling proudly on rare occasions when he watch elderly people hand in hand, children playing or whichever else that might make an old man nostalgic. 

Once again, though, he is open to provide help, also on a personal level. While being stingy, especially with new buying things, I believe he’s often taken in strangers in his home - as long as they posed no threat. This also means it’s very specific to Swiss people, as he holds higher trust in them, believing them absolutely unlikely to stab his back. But people will be taken in to his home under his own rules and circumstances, as he very fast feel invaded and pressured by strangers on his property. 

It is, for one, under such a case that Liechtenstein was taken in. My belief is that he had no knowledge of how the nation looked when he first met her, and seeing a person in need left him in little doubt - and that says a lot about his personality. When he later realized the identity of his guest and extend of his kindness, he deemed the small country much less of a threat than other nations, and found her in very great need, and kept on supporting her. Later, he became vividly dependent on her presence and support.

How willing is he to form platonic and/or romantic relationships?

Again it can be said very simply. Unwilling. 

For many of the reasons above, he doesn’t freely form bonds to other. Platonically, there is the constant risk of getting hurt - either with a knife in the back or a dying breath by a bedside - as well as the amount of investing he’ll have to put into it. The biggest and most important relation he ever had with another person is his friendship with Austria, as I’ve often referred back to, and he sets that as an example on why close relations is a foolish deal. The many examples of the strife between nations only fueled that assumption, and instead he learned to rely on himself and his people alone. People who, as said, dares to die, so they have to be at a distance as well. His motives are very much driven by anxiety of both loss, getting hurt, as well as the mentioned paranoia constantly telling him that people are out to get him, claiming that especially nations have bad motives and so on and so forth. The existence of Liechtenstein in his life is a miracle he didn’t as for, but which he won’t complain about either.

Romantically I long played with the thought of him being asexual or aromantic, because trust and closeness is so hard on him. I found later that I wouldn’t count it to that, but once again the troubles of social interaction and excessive anxiety limited his abilities. Instead he is (uncomfortable as I am about saying it) quite a sexual person, and there have been the occasional human that has managed to earn his trust or who he’s had such a high gravitation towards that... well, things just happened. Many of these, I know, have been rapidly cut off when he realized what he was doing, in a fit of self-preservation to regain that distance between himself and others, to make sure the situation with Austria never repeats itself. 

Cause yeah, dear Switzerland has taught himself to be alone instead. For safety reasons, as well as a search to escape the stress his anxiousness brings. It is also what leaves him very hard and cold towards others - a facade he’s built to cover up and keep people out. It works and his mountains, becoming an imaginary fence to hold people out of his life. He comes off as harsh, angry, aggressive and sometimes even dangerous when he interacts because he’s learned it makes people cautious of you, and that aura also keeps nations from attempting closeness (even if some, like France, find it possible to ignore). He’s become so good at holding up that unsmiling, unyielding facade for many hundred years that he lost himself within it, and has a hard time distinguishing his real emotions from the coldness he’s learned to emit. And most of these things have been done to make sure he will not experience another loss, will not face another betrayal and doesn’t have to live with another hole in his heart. 

Does he have a desire for such relationships?

Short version: Yes.

Long version: Vash is, what you can call, extremely lonely. A facade or an act doesn’t erase the desires and needs of a human soul. He wishes for companionship, wishes for closeness, yearns for love, even if he doesn’t dare it. He’s so controlled by his fears that he has cut off one of the most basic human needs, making friendship and romance an alienated concept. He went through this for some few hundred years, becoming what he sees now as an ugly side of himself, until his kindness gave him the gift of a little sister. Her presence has made things easier for him, and has managed to open him up even a little towards other people as well, but now he depends on her. She’s his only lifeline, as she exists like a beacon in darkness, guiding him to another, hopefully better place. To him, she’s not allowed to disappear, and once again his fears gets in the way. Ideologically he allows her to do as she pleases. She is not a prisoner, doesn’t hold a contract, she’s just there because she wishes. But he is afraid every time she’s with somebody because he believes they will steal her away, as he is afraid of her being along because something bad might happen. The fear of loss, also formerly mentioned, puts him in a constant dilemma, for a loss is more manageable when you are the cause of it - but actually losing her feels out of the question at this point.

Liechtenstein herself has a desire to help him open up, and is working on it. A thing my wife and I have believed for many years now is that their whole relationship, as seen by outsiders, is a lie. Liechtenstein doesn’t need him. She could stand on her own two feet easily and manage this world, now that they aren’t trying to starve her to death. She’s not dependent on him - he’s the one who’s dependent on her and he is that to an unhealthy degree. She lives with him on his premises and bends the rules just enough to challenge his world view, for she knows she cannot relieve him of the loneliness he still struggles with. She is but a sister and a little girl - she’s not a friend, nor a lover, and she’s only one person in his whole social network. 

Back to the short version: Yes. Even if he denies it to himself, even if he doesn’t want to face the fact, he’s alone, he’s lonely, and he wishes to know more people than he currently has the capacity to manage and trust.

How difficult is it for (in his mind) decent people to get close to him?

Surprisingly easy, actually. You have to be nonthreatening and have clearly honest intentions, as well as patient with the constant mood swings he’ll lash at you to check your boundaries. He needs to see that you are not there to make fun of him, hurt him, or use him, and it will take a long time for him to get to that point - but what he need to see is the consistency, for he does not give his trust easily, and the main obstacle he has is his lack of trust towards everyone.

My experience in RP’ing, though, clearly shows that people/Hetalia nations rarely have what it takes to pull through, and I have yet not managed to provide him a single friend. It simply takes too much time and effort, cause, as said, he doesn’t give up and give himself over easily. Even when I mull down his difficulties a bit and make him a little more willing to approach people, as I have found myself forced to do, his trust is simply too hard for many to get.

What type of people do he tend to like?

 It stands, to an extend, in the explanation of the last question. Honest, trustworthy people, usually with good hearts as well since such people are less likely to hurt others. He has a pretty high moral code despite being old fashioned, and from that he also expects proper morals for others. After that, he also likes quiet, and calm people who don’t attempt to pass his boundaries. They are best if they like nature as well, and he’ll have a harder time respecting and accepting you if you are born into power - such as the old, noble traditions. Hardworking and consistent are also valuable traits, and considering that Vash bonds best over physical labor that might be the best way to reach him.

[sciencespies]

Why more couples are choosing to live apart

https://sciencespies.com/humans/why-more-couples-are-choosing-to-live-apart/

Why more couples are choosing to live apart

Credit: shutterstock/View Apart

For many couples, moving in together signifies a big step in the relationship. Traditionally, this meant marriage, although nowadays most cohabit before getting married, or splitting up. But there is a third choice: living apart together.

Not only is it surprisingly common, but living apart together is increasingly seen as a new and better way for modern couples to live. Surveys have previously suggested that around 10% of adults in Western Europe, the US, Canada, New Zealand and Australia live apart together, while up to a quarter of people in Britain statistically defined as “single” actually have an intimate partner—they just live somewhere else.

Living apart together supposedly gives people all the advantages of autonomy—doing what you want in your own space, maintaining preexisting local arrangements and friendships—as well as the pleasures of intimacy with a partner. Some even see it as “subverting gendered norms”—or at least that women can escape traditional divisions of labor.

But our research shows a darker motivation—people can end up living apart because they feel anxious, vulnerable, even fearful about living with a partner. And, despite living apart together, women still often continue to perform traditional roles.

Staying separate

While some who live apart have long distance relationships, most live near one another, even in the same street, and are together much of the time. Nearly all are in constant contact through text, Facebook, Facetime and other messaging platforms. And virtually all expect monogamous fidelity.

Surveys show three different types of couples who live apart together. First are those who feel it is “too early,” or who are “not ready” to live together yet –- mostly young people who see cohabitation as the next stage in their lives. Then there are the couples who do actually want to live together but are prevented from doing so. They can’t afford a joint house, or a partner has a job somewhere else, or can’t get a visa, or is in prison or a care home. Sometimes family opposition, for example to a partner of a different religion, is just too intense.

Third is a “preference” group who choose to live apart together over the long term. These are mostly older people who have been married or cohabited before. It is this group that are supposed to use living apart to create new and better way of living.

Fears and threats

Our research, however, based on a nationwide survey supplemented by 50 in-depth interviews, points to a different story for many “preference” couples. Rather than seeking a new and better form of relationship through living apart together, the ideal remained a “proper” family -– cohabitation, marriage and a family home. But respondents often feared this ideal in practice, and so “chose” to live apart as the best way to deal with these fears while still keeping a relationship. Often they had been deeply hurt in previous cohabiting relationships, financially as well as emotionally. Some women experienced abuse. As Michelle explained: “I don’t want to lose everything in my house, I don’t want to be possessed, I don’t, and I don’t want to be beaten up, by someone who’s meant to love me.”

Not surprisingly, Michelle had “built a very solid brick wall” with her current partner. It was living apart that maintained this wall. Another respondent, Graham, had experienced an “incredibly stressful time” after separation from his wife, with “nowhere to live and no real resources or anything.” So living apart was a “sort of self-preservation.”

Current partners could also be a problem. Wendy had lived with her partner, but found that “when he drinks he’s not a nice person … He was abusive both to me and my son.”

Living apart together was the solution. Maggie was repelled by her partner’s “hardcore” green lifestyle: his lack of washing, sporadic toilet flushing, and no central heating (which she needed for medical reasons). She also felt her partner looked down on her as intellectually inferior. So living apart together was “the next best thing” to her ideal of conjugal marriage.

Some men found the very idea of living with women threatening. For Ben, “not a big commitment merchant,” living apart together was at least “safe.” And several men in the study hoped to find more “compliant” partners abroad. Daniel, whose current, much younger, partner lived in Romania, explained how his “whole universe was blown apart” by divorce. And how he felt that “females in England … seem to want everything straight off in my opinion—I just didn’t want to communicate with English women at all.”

Given these fears, worries and aversions, why do these people stay with their partners at all? The answer is a desire for love and intimacy. As Wendy said: “I do love him…[and] I would love to be with him, if he was the person that he is when he’s not drinking.”

Maggie told us how she “really loved” her partner and how they had “set up an agreement” whereby “if I do your cooking and your washing and ironing can you take me out once a month and pay for me.” Even Gemma, who thought living apart together gave her power in the relationship, found herself in “wife mode” and did “all his washing and cooking.”

For some people, then, choosing to live apart is not about finding a new or better form of intimacy. Rather living apart is a reaction to vulnerability, anxiety, even fear—it offers protection.

(Names have been changed.)

Explore further

Couples living in separate homes wish at heart for traditional marriage

Provided by The Conversation

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

Citation: Why more couples are choosing to live apart (2020, January 3) retrieved 3 January 2020 from https://phys.org/news/2020-01-couples.html

This document is subject to copyright. Apart from any fair dealing for the purpose of private study or research, no part may be reproduced without the written permission. The content is provided for information purposes only.

#Humans

[castlehead]

[identity vices]

[who the fuck were we?, we didn’t know, but when we had a shred of a notion, it was the biggest thing in the real world, i get my shreds and move on think of something about myself as im quietly stocking shelves and the whole time it’s just there, in my heart, and I’m just doing what I do cuz nobody cares I say, how was your weekend ah, slept in, didn’t do much the mundane is the single most common mask, precisely because it is what it says it is, it’s foolproof, locked I mean people do care, friends do, but you don’t pay people to be your friend, and that’s what ****** was: just a bunch of fucked up rich kids thinking they were making way, myself included, because we paid people to congratulate us for the most insignificant shit       hahahaha hahahaha that’s not psychology it’s pedology it’s infantile So basically, they were making up for us all having fucked up parents?        or fucked up childhoods?                      there’s something my mom says to me: "it’s never too late to have a happy childhood" I think that’s the best piece of advice I’ve ever gotten. As crazy as it is, I feel like I’ve stabilized in a way. Maybe it’s premature, but I feel like that level of depression is behind me, not because I won’t ever be that fucked up again, but because I can rationalize it and deal with it better now. And the past is just that — it’s something behind me.         I feel powerful, like I have a choice in my own life again. that’s amazing and that’s giving credence to your will to move at all it starts not with the choice but with the belief that there is one, after all. inertia means powerlessness, fated to be nothing, do nothing, achieve nothing just a marble rolling across frictionless space that’s for the universe to give a will to, if there even is a thing so wild the will to salute yourself      that’s what I’m glad you’ve found I mean, our own interpersonal relationships weren’t compliment based, I don’t think   in a way, they were but they were also driven off of needs that we still have to this day I think between you and I, there’s one night in particular that comes to mind

you were crying in ***********

and I consoled you         it was a very human experience for me but I’m not complimenting, just saying that the seeing of choice in one’s life through the depressive whatever-fog, is maybe a shred I’d keep close, because it’ll always be the first thing people who are depressed will need to do before they act: find the will.           .  [SIDETHOUGHT: [The ‘proper’ way to read a poem or novel should be interpreted by the majority who read it, not the minority consisting of scholars and schoolmarms. The good perception of words is what effect taken in by the greater good. That, after all, is why she^ lasts. The greater good has taken its opinion over to sit with her after you slept all night on the park bench, wouldn’t even get up to let the great hunk of their collective ass hunker down next to you—once you moved that silly raincoat, it already stopped pouring five seconds ago. On top of your drenched body, the common good reads The Wasteland as your skull slowly crushes beneath the incontinent hams of a bubbling, a farting girth of what even though just metaphor must weigh as much as the continent itself, or western hemisphere if you prefer a lil meat. On bones.]]] ? ?           .  Who: Kafkazzzo, Freckett K. Where: Frumple of a/my bedroom, (a) Earth, getting ready to head to—a party— When: 4:42AM. Though it’s probably already happy hour somewhere. As the saying goes. What Dimension: Third Possibly Askew And Flattened Like A Very Delicious Pancake Into What Dimension: 4th, time Background: Mobile lamp way too bright. Cigarette resting in glass ashtray. Empty glass of water, purposelessness, general purposelessness. I am evading that space of it tho. And silence only stopped by the glum entreaty of the air conditioning system. Noises, kds. playing baseball in the courtyard, downstairs. Drugs Ingested: Pot. Any Pharms?: Klonopin, maximum required dosage, Lithium, Cymbalta (duloxetine HCI)               And I punch him in the face. You by me a soda YOU BUY ME A SODA "You buy me soda?" Said RANDOM FRENCH GUY. “Sure.” Reached into pocket. Gave RANDOM FRENCH GUY four dollars. My Wallet has Hawaii on it. There are two pictures of HAWAII on each side of the wallet. They are the same picture. Somewhere there is a person who I am a reflection of, a year’s ago same picture, and everywhere I see and repel this sameness if that is I see it in others, however small the observation. Except, of course, if I observe such things in her. I do not wish however for others to have the same glitches. Human character is diverse enough to go a night at a party without reminiscence, eh? She is in the left ventricle of my heart, clearly seen by microscope, eating away at the cement walls there. That to the human eye, is mere idiosyncratic dominion. They say. And they say to me should I just gulf out one person from another if I have some chick who used to have big boobs chewing on my left ventricle, by now a block of pure cement fresh from the whisking mixer? How could I tell them that if so then both aren’t to be found again in the other, which is me, together; I lose her I lose myself. Then who would we be, remain as? Perhaps it does not matter to her. Or like to be even, who would I get to be if I can grant myself that? I guess what I am trying to say is that I “I need more dollar. Buy pizza.” “Only because you’re French. Consider it a war bond for the next time those Germans come to kick your sorry ass.” I gave him three dollars without thinking about it. Don’t think about it. Not often. Always willing to spot. Never have money to spot with. Because I spot so much. Drunk thinking. Here’s half a forty I’m chugging. The liquid goes down my esophagus. It is meant to be drunk to make you drunk. Everything should have meaning. That is how life should work, but it doesn’t work that way at all. It’s groping for good in life and scratching [searching] out for crumbs like tickets, no lotto, again, and the chaff of once purposed greatness led on its way up higher and higher from conscious desire, throwing away everything, only to come upon none other than unconscious desire: and then the desire is all that remains, ah so I guess that is what I would be. A lustfiend. Surviving in and of himself as a medical-grade loner. Him the result of his own destruction, the result itself, seen safely from a distance of billions of miles into his head, somewhat like a black hole. And I am like a dog forever biting its tail in an effort to gnaw the thing off. Except we are MAN, and so we hack off our tails with bare bodkins and pursue our efforts and dismays daily, diffusing it all as like a poison of the tragically mundane. Life goes well spooned together with a nice molasses of confused sensations to create the pastiche that is for our lives and for life, yes, but this becomes rather what we see in life: it might be equally as false or true, it might be: LIFE, yes, that grand, technical, way-out-there celebrity in gloves, and hardly enjoying himself at the awards ceremony, his smile attempting to reach to the ceiling, and to look maybe for a vent or some means of escape or even a deadly event as tragic as ever: well yeah who cares he is merely at a cheap height of the cosmos after all is said and done but no one knows where exactly it is done saying, so this image goes and rakes in the cosmopolitanism around him anyhow. Hungry, not for that, but having no other means to sate himself. Well, nothing like the stacks of cash this demiurge counterfeits on regular to land a celeb in jail. All the time? For years, yo. Nobody figured it out. And well don’t you know, I might say back, that God doesn’t do cash, that’s some stairway to heaven shit. God says this to me, in a toys-r-us of course, buying his fifth monopoly game board this week, opening it up, and stuffing the monopoly money in astounding pants. I suppose he is just as anyone who does this would be, now, officially desperate to pay rent:

GOD say: For, we whom are not yourselves live in coves, and do not disrupt the willing men and women of the surf to splash upon our chapped land and get up foot to foot and dust off themselves, off. It is they do not bother. The only off is on in the cave of the Removed. Stalactites filled in full rings by the petrifying jelly of screams and shrieks, of you—clear, consumptive squawks. You continue to at least darken this prison cell with your resignation, bars thick enough to shrink the teeth of my steel monster, you all beneath my skin, lingering on the meddling cusp of what I don’t know—what I don’t understand, perhaps we don’t, I know I don’t—I look at the world as though on a merry-go-round that blurs things. People smiling and looking with pleasant face. Every still phantasm, you, staring back and looking into a deep lecherous void in my eye I see. Meanwhile, it is OK: we the Removed have already supplanted that steel monster with a giant, happy frog to distract you [when you weren’t looking]. It gaily farts and bubbles in the mud and says with his blank eye [as though frogs could speak at all!] no, that we cannot go, o no, o no, NO, cannot go to heaven. Enough of farce. I’m listening to twee music. What does it matter. What does any of it matter any more. Twee crap blends in with the rest of this mess. I’ll try and get sleep, later. So many memories. Touching me. Wresting my heart from its bone prism. All the horrible memories, the forgetting me by friends I thought would stay, the forgotten sadness I too have let pass painlessly out of recollection. Sadness, sadness, deep sadness. Friends out somewhere getting wasted all alone, [as I was, am, tho it used to b among people] with just their good company to keep. Eaten by the night. Wake up, scratch leg, bug bite. Lighted I am and my recollections only by the perfidious youth sense nowadays and leaking out with regularity. Anyway let them say that was all they ever had. Ha! And yet already as I see them in my mind’s eye, through film: musty, shitty film that ratchets against the projector like a master the axe to hitch in his steed the leftover stump from last Spring, doubled with mosses for whatever reason considered consumptive to the land, or was it, they were poisonous?, my friends, they are all so very old. I am so very old.