#Hate my job
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#i hate my job#hate my job#motivation#motivating myself#life lessons#life#thought#reality#never give up
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10/15/24
I am still here. Been a tough week. Weight unknown. Rough period, been sick for a long time, hurt rib, tough to sleep. Never feel rested.
Work is weird. They just let go someone who had 24 years of experience in a really hard to learn computer system. She was the one who did almost all of our extremely high dollar claims. The knowledge we lost due to the lack of documentation for this stupid system is unknown. I surmise she was let go (from the context) because she was working off the clock.
Did they stop to think or ask why she felt like she had to work off the clock? Did they stop to think how our team would be affected?
Idk, but they canned her anyway.
Anyone could be next.
I am heartbroken for her, and scared myself because I am generally a loud mouth fuck up. I have no where near the level of knowledge that she had.
If they weren't paying for school I would try to shamble somewhere else that has a better culture.
Or better yet, just care for mom until she passes. Play games. Read. Quality time and not worry about the future.
I hate that I struggle with basic tech stuff. I am having problems getting into one of the classroom systems for school. They keep sending authentication to my work email, which i cannot be on if I am not working and I cannot be working on school when I am working. Catch 22.
Add new terror to my dieting experience.
Overeating, although a conditioned response, is still my go to. I weighed over 300 pounds, it was my go to for a very long time. I am trying to overcome that BS but it is a struggle.
But... for today, I am going to do what I can. Stand at my desk. Hopefully get some good steps in and go to jiu jitsu class.
I had a delightful salad for lunch and just whipped up an apple cider yogurt dip thing that I am planning to use with apple cinnamon rice cake bites. Just plain nf Greek yogurt & sf apple cider mix.
Last night's dinner was chicken & asparagus risotto, which had rice in it. Idk that i knew that when I bought it but I ate it.
I worked out to beat off the stress from the school problem. (And to try to stay "in habit" because I have a hard time with habits. Prolly she to undiagnosed ADHD. )
#healthy lifestyle#getting healthy#losing weight#healthy eating#fitblr#healthy habits#operation lose this gut#weight loss#operationlosethisgut#weight loss journey#having a diagnosis is privilege#suspected adhd#wealthy privilege#poor#economic instability#paycheck to paycheck#job worry#job stress#hate my job#but i cant#leave either#workout log#daily notes#dinner#salad#dietista#dealing with stress#coping mechanism#coping#caregiver
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I Ruined My Summer Vacation
Okay so I ruined my summer with a camp counseling job and I am on the verge of quitting. It's my first week in and it has been a shit show. This is a school that I moved out of because of the problems it has but one of my good friends works there and was talking about how awesome the summer camp was. She told me that it was run by some great people (that I am kind of friends with) and that any problems get taken care of really quickly. It pays $500 a week (net income). So I started yesterday (two weeks late since I was busy and they said it was fine) and within two days this has happened
I got punched by a kid
A kid tried to fight me
a kid climbed onto the library shelves and tore the books down five minutes before carpool
a kid started biting the others and drew blood
a kid stomped on a lizard (and killed it) because another kid was looking at to be funny
a kid has thrown a cussing tantrum in front of other kids because he couldn't climb the tables
a kid broke a table
a kid elbowed another kid in the eye
one kid has gotten sent to the "head counselor's office" 20 times in two weeks and has not gotten in any other trouble
the same kid tried to snap in half another kid's elbow across his knees today (we got in trouble for pulling them apart since we can't touch the kids)
The boys have started slapping the girl's butts to be funny
I listened to a 6 hour long first grader rendition of Ice Spice
The first and second graders play COD and Fortnight with grown men online
We found out that the kids cannot play on the playground because their parents have sat them in front of screens their entire lives and they literally don't know what to do
I got to break up a beat down because one kid took a kid's puzzle box lid and the other took the one kid's baseball cap
the kids have started launching themselves off of the library risers (it's about 8 feet off the ground)
the kids have started dragging other kids up the risers and throwing them off
the kids have thrown things at the SmartBoards when they're angry (they're $8,000 boards btw)
Kids run away and hid from counselors and purposefully get lost so that we get in trouble
the kids are bullying each other and verbalizing that they are "targeting *insert a kid name"
The kids are illiterate
The 3rd and 4th graders struggle with basic multiplication and division (4x1 & 38/2 were the big ones today)
parents are signing up some of the kids for 8am-12pm camps and are not coming to pick up their kids after the paid for camps so we are looking after these kids without further pay because their parents are dropping them off like we're some sort of unpaid babysitter club
kids will make eye contact with you, call your name, and then do something you told them not to do, only to bunker down and not stop once you tell them not to
these same kids will wrap themselves around table or whatever they can find and say. "You can't do anything, you can't touch me!"
The HEAD STAFF has come in and asked to speak with camp counselors that aren't working this week and then ask where the camp coordinators are and we're like "uhhhh in their office?"
The head staff has yet to inform us of the kid's allergies so last week we almost had to send a kid to the ER because he got bit by an ant and no one bothered to say that he needed an EPIPEN and another kid ran away crying because a junior counselor pulled out a PB&J in front of him and he thought the junior counselor was trying to kill him (apparently he's got the airborne severity of peanut butter allergy but that wasn't in his charts or mentioned to us)
kids have started throwing soccer and tennis balls at each other when they're mad
a kid made a noose out of crafting items and tried to hang the others with it
a boy shoved a straw into another little boy's privates
a kid tried to hide puzzle pieces from his camp mates by shoving them down his pants because there was nothing we could do about it
one of the camp counselors who is a college football player broke down crying in the break room because he cannot get the kids to listen
another girl has cried a few times in one day because she cannot discipline the kids and they are telling her that their parents will sue her if she's mean to them
we tried to get in contact with one of the kid's parents only to find out that they have jet set across the world the Europe and will be out of country for the entire summer so the kids are staying at their very old grandparent's house and cannot be further disciplined
parents literally drop their kids off so that they don't have to deal with them and will not answer their phones if something happens and are always late to pick their kids up, hardly make the payment cut, and their kids behave as such
This is only day two. I've had some people tell me to stick with it since it's so early, and some say that it's obviously not going to get any better. I talked to one of my friends who has been working here for five years and he said it's the most well behaved group he's ever worked with. I hate this job, I hate that I'm waisting my summer. I may just give it the rest of this week and one more week and then I'm out. These are 6-12 year olds in a college prep private school and they are acting like rabid animals the entire day. It's not all of them, but it's enough that most of the counselors have talked about quitting. One of the lead counselors won't even be in the entire time since she's about to have a baby so it will get even worse. I cannot iterate how much I hate this job, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, and I am homeschooling my kids after this. I hope I get COVID so that I can miss the next few weeks.
#school#us schools#school system#school tips#ranting#rant post#personal vent#school rant#jobs#summertime#summer days#send help#please help#camp counselor#summer camp counselor#summer 2024#children#hate my job#i hate it here#i hate my job#quitting#advice for school#advice for life#need some advice
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Im fucking miserable
#vent#I hate my classes#hate my job#hate the fact that I have no clue what I’m going to be doing#and wish I could just fucking not
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the urge to quit my job is so strong
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#hate my job#hate life#hate that i don’t know how to be more positive about it all#stuck in a negative spiral#probably need to have a good cry about it#i simultaneously want everyone to leave me alone yet at the same time need a good hug#anyways instead of doing anything productive about it…#gonna check my notifications and then ignore everything in favor of watching tv#i make healthy choices#hey this is like a vintage hellsite post lol
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I don’t even have the motivation to get up for work anymore. I’m getting to work 15 minutes late every day because I can’t find the Will inside me to get out bed. I don’t want to do this anymore. When will it stop.
#i fucking suck#i deserve to suffer#tw depressing thoughts#fucking hate myself#hate my job#mentally exhausted#sorry for being depressing
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can i just. give up on everything. so tired of trying & never getting anywhere
#here i am nearing 40 years old & still living with my parents#working more & more and yet somehow making less & less money#hate my job#pretty sure some of the people here are going out of their way to make me feel like a perpetual fuck up#(not that they need to i already know that very well)#no one else wants me#haven't sold jack shit in my shop all year#where am i supposed to go from here?
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the usopp urge to drop everything and run away vs the nami urge to keep going because I really need that money
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I am sick of my liiiiiife
#fucking mould in the flat#nowhere to store my actual stuff so it’s all still in boxes#can’t move out till the contract comes up in May and I don’t want to deal with moving again anyway#let alone new flatmates given that the ones I have now are nice and I still spend half my time hidden away in my room#lonely as FUCK#hate my job#and if I quit I’m gonna have fuck all money to do anything about any of it#but if I don’t quit I am honestly ready to chuck my laptop out the window then possibly myself#I know my life was never together in the first place but god it really has fallen apart#sorry for using this as my diary again I guess shouting into the void feels better than just paper somehow
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3/6/24
Scale still broken. It kinda looked like 184, which is not quite possible but I am saying 184 to my brain so I can be super super happy today.
I am still eh on my job. I want nothing more than to quit and take the summer off. But money, fuck.
I just want to be able to go for walks whenever, read all my books, clean, caregive without trying to work all day every day.
I probably need more time off.
My vacation was amazing, I tried to stay as cheap as possible. Did I lug around bags of veggies & home made food? Yes I did.
I did spend a couple dollars on coffee/tea, & 1 lunch out. I didn't suffer food envy.
It was good. Apparently they don't make my favorite jello treat anymore, so that was sad. Lucky I saved some of the containers, I made myself some yesterday. Lime flavored. Not my favorite but it will have to do.
Current goals for habit/behavior:
2.5 hours + standing.
Hydration
Daily walks
1/2 hour cardio
3x weighted workouts
Continue to lose weight until I hit goal.
I am apparently so over the weight loss part already, I just want to be at goal already. I figure 20-30 more pounds. That will still leave me heavier than a normal gal but it will allow me to focus on body recomp and calorie maintenance.
I don't want to spend money on clothes, knowing that they may change again soon. Ugg.
What else? I want to quit my job. Did I say that already? 🤣
I would like to quit my job.
#healthy lifestyle#getting healthy#losing weight#healthy eating#fitblr#healthy habits#operation lose this gut#weight loss#operationlosethisgut#weight loss journey#eat your veggies#veggie life#veggies#over it#quit my job#day job#work at home#hate my job#take this job and shove it#ugg work#work#work life#work life balance#unbalanced#i want to lose weight#weight control#lose weight#eating for weight loss#eating habits#habit change
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looked at messages i got while i was OOO cause i got a notification for some reason and got curious and was filled with absolute delight that my work frenemy failed miserably at something i could easily do 🫶 AND next week i have a meeting with my boss to discuss a promotion/raise like thank u job security
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Writing some dialogue at work bc fanfic inspo hit and some kids came over and asked what i was writing 💀 I hid it from them and said it was secret bc I’m not ready to explain what ‘gay people who can’t communicate but want to crawl inside each other’s skin to be close to each other’ are to them yet
#love my job#hate my job#schrodinger’s workplace opinion#it was jjba of course#which is good bc the kids know the names of JJK and AOT characters rip#can’t write eruri on the clock 😔#fanfic
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so mad at my boss. Still. I work my ass off making sure the hospital is clean and tidy. There's supposed to be three vet assistants on and now there's only me working day shifts. They did a check in with me telling me I'm not prioritising. Like I'm sorry?? I'm in charge of keeping 20 rooms PERFECT and sanitised, as well as theatre prep, ongoing washing and preparing saline. The vets let me know that I'm doing a good job and thank me for it but the boss who literally ONLY mopped the floor during my entire 10 hour shift has no idea what I do out of sight. I do so much and to be told I'm not "proactive" enough in a tiny cramped office mid shift has fucking destroyed me.
I DO NOT have a veterinary degree, I am UNDER twenty, I do not in any capacity have any idea how to do things without training. Maybe choose to train me on areas you need (as if I already don't do enough) before having a go at me?
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My job makes me want to jump off a bridge until I don’t get up again. Needed to vent.
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