#Harrowing Suspension

[slate021]

Flights Local Group

[heliosunny]

Fyodor with a reader that he grows to be a fond of and that turns a little bit into an obsession 👀👀

HOW ABOUT... A LIFETIME SIDEKICK

You had been by Fyodor's side from the very beginning. In his opinion, you were borderline suicidal. There wasn’t a mission he assigned that you didn’t face head-on, no matter how dangerous or reckless it was. Loyal, graceful, and unwavering, you embodied everything he could ask for in a partner.

“Sacrifice yourself for me.” Fyodor’s voice was calm, devoid of emotion.

Without a second thought, you leapt from the 20th floor of the building, clutching the critical document he needed. The wind whipped past you as you plummeted, your only concern ensuring the document remained safe.

It wasn’t for him, not really. You didn’t care about Fyodor as a person. The only reason you stayed by his side was your unwavering desire to see his goals achieved. He had saved your life once, pulling you back from the brink when no one else had cared enough to try. That act had shackled you to him, binding your existence to his whims.

You owed him your life. And for that reason, you would endure anything, no matter how harrowing.

Despite the countless brushes with death, it was nothing short of a miracle that you always survived. Maybe it was luck. Or maybe, deep down, Fyodor’s plans never truly involved losing you.

As your body hurtled toward the ground, you felt the inevitability of death closing in. Yet, at the last moment, a strange sensation enveloped you—a sudden suspension, as if time itself had bent to spare you.

When you opened your eyes, you found yourself lying on the ground, unharmed. A soft, golden glow surrounded you, quickly fading. Standing nearby was Nikolai Gogol, one of Fyodor's closest allies. He twirled his cane, his usual mischievous grin in place.

“Well, that was a close one” Nikolai mused, his tone laced with mockery. “You almost painted the street red. What would our dear Fyodor do without his precious sidekick?”

You sat up, clutching the document tightly, your body trembling from the adrenaline. Before you could say a word, Nikolai tapped his cane against the ground, opening one of his portals.

“Let’s not keep him waiting~” he said, and with a flick of his hand, you were whisked back to Fyodor’s side.

When you arrived, Fyodor was seated in his usual spot, his fingers elegantly poised on the keys of his cello. He stopped playing as soon as he saw you, his dark eyes scanning your form. You handed him the document without a word, expecting a curt acknowledgment or even a reprimand for nearly failing the mission.

But instead, something strange happened. Fyodor’s expression shifted—just for a moment, so quickly you almost missed it. Was that relief? Concern?

“You’re reckless.” he said, his voice colder than usual.

You shrugged, brushing off the comment. “It’s what you asked for. The mission is complete.”

Fyodor stared at you for a long moment before turning away. “No more.”

The words hung in the air, unfamiliar and heavy. You frowned, unsure if you’d heard him correctly. “No more... what?”

He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he stood, his movements as graceful as always, and placed the document on his desk. “No more dangerous missions. I won’t send you out again.”

You blinked, taken aback. This wasn’t like him. “Why? Did I do something wrong?”

He glanced at you, his expression unreadable. “No. You’ve done everything perfectly. That’s precisely why I’m putting an end to it.”

His words only confused you more. “I don’t understand. Isn’t this what you need from me? Someone to carry out your plans without hesitation?”

Fyodor moved closer, his presence suffocating. He reached out, his hand brushing against your cheek. The gesture was almost tender, but his eyes carried the weight of something far darker.

“You’re more than a tool.” he said softly, his voice unnervingly intimate. “You’ve proven your loyalty time and time again. But you’ve also shown me something else, your value. And I won’t risk losing that. Losing you.”

His admission sent a chill down your spine. This wasn’t the cold, calculating man you had followed for so long. This was someone else, someone whose obsession ran far deeper than you had imagined.

“Fyodor...” you began, but he cut you off.

“I saved you once” he murmured, his fingers trailing down to your neck, resting lightly against your pulse. “And I’ll save you again if I must. But you won’t need saving anymore, because I won’t allow you to put yourself in harm’s way.”

His grip tightened slightly, not enough to hurt, but enough to make his point clear.

“Do you see now?” he asked, his voice dropping to a whisper. “You don’t owe me your life. I’ve claimed it.”

Back when Nikolai saved you, you had thought it was just another mission, another brush with death. But later that night, as you tended to your wounds in silence, you overheard Fyodor speaking with Nikolai in a hushed, calculated tone. You were hidden behind the door, listening intently.

Their discussion revolved around a new plan—a dangerously elaborate scheme that would leave Fyodor exposed in its final stages. A specific detail caught your attention: the risks he was willing to take. He was so focused on the end goal that he disregarded the possibility of his own demise.

Your chest tightened. Fyodor’s ruthlessness had always been part of his charm, or his curse—but this time, it felt different. You couldn’t explain why it mattered so much, but the thought of him dying unsettled you in ways you weren’t prepared to face.

So, you made a decision.

Without a word to him or anyone else, you acted on your own. You followed the threads of the plan, inserting yourself at critical points to ensure everything would go smoothly. You intercepted threats, dismantled traps, and rerouted danger away from Fyodor.

But in the end, you couldn’t avoid everything.

The moment came during the final phase. A sniper’s rifle was trained on Fyodor from a hidden vantage point, the assassin waiting for the perfect moment to strike. You didn’t hesitate. Throwing yourself into the line of fire, you shielded him, taking the bullet meant for his heart.

The pain was blinding, and as you collapsed to the ground, you barely registered Fyodor’s voice calling out to you, sharp and filled with something you’d never heard before -panic.

When you woke days later, you were in an unfamiliar room. The stark walls were suffocatingly plain, and the heavy silence was broken only by the faint hum of distant machinery. You tried to move but found yourself too weak, your body weighed down by exhaustion.

It didn’t take long for Fyodor to appear. He entered the room with his usual grace, his piercing eyes locking onto yours. But there was something different about him.

“You’re awake” he said, his voice calm but cold.

You managed a weak smile. “Looks like I ruined your plan.”

Fyodor didn’t respond right away. He stepped closer, his fingers brushing against your cheek. The touch sent a chill down your spine.

“You didn’t ruin anything” he murmured. “But you came dangerously close to ruining yourself. And that, I cannot allow.”

His tone was unsettling. It wasn’t anger or disappointment—it was something darker, something possessive.

“Why did you do it?” he asked, though his expression suggested he already knew the answer.

You struggled to find the words. “I... couldn’t let you die.”

Fyodor’s lips curled into a faint, humorless smile. “So loyal” he mused. “But you should have known better than to act without my permission.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but he silenced you with a single gesture.

“From now on” he said, his tone firm “you won’t be leaving my side. No more missions. No more reckless heroics. You’ve proven you’re incapable of protecting yourself, so I’ll do it for you.”

His words felt like a prison sentence. “You can’t just isolate me” you protested weakly. “I’m not some fragile thing to keep locked away.”

Fyodor leaned closer, his dark eyes boring into yours. “You are mine” he said softly. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure you stay by my side, alive and unharmed. You’ve played the hero for the last time.”

His hand lingered on your face for a moment before he stood. “Rest” he commanded. “This is your new life now.”

As he left the room, you felt the weight of his obsession settle over you. Fyodor Dostoevsky had always been a man of control, but now that control extended to you in ways you never imagined. You had saved him, but in doing so, you had unknowingly sealed your own fate.

-----

You knew it was only a matter of time before Fyodor’s suffocating control became unbearable. His obsession, once subtle, had grown into something oppressive. The isolation he imposed wasn’t protection, it was a cage. You could feel yourself losing pieces of who you were, and you refused to let that happen.

It was with quiet desperation that you turned to an old acquaintance from the team, someone who had always harbored doubts about Fyodor’s methods. They agreed to help you, knowing the risks but willing to defy him for your sake.

The plan was simple yet perilous. Your friend created a diversion, slipping you out of the facility during a chaotic moment. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you breathed the open air, your heart pounding with a mix of fear and exhilaration.

Freedom was fleeting.

It didn’t take long for Fyodor to discover your escape. His network was too vast, his reach too far. And when he learned of the betrayal, his retribution was swift and merciless.

You were hiding in a safe house when he found you. The door burst open, and Fyodor entered with his usual eerie calm, though the storm raging in his dark eyes was unmistakable. Behind him, two of his men dragged in your friend—bloodied, beaten, and barely conscious.

“You thought you could run from me..” Fyodor said, his voice a chilling whisper. “Did you really believe I wouldn’t find you?”

Your heart sank as he turned to your friend. “And you” he continued, his tone laced with venom. “Betrayal is such an ugly thing.”

Before you could intervene, Fyodor gave a subtle nod to one of his men. A gunshot rang out, and your friend collapsed to the ground, lifeless.

“No!” you screamed, tears streaming down your face.

Fyodor stepped toward you, his expression unreadable. He wiped a stray tear from your cheek with his gloved hand, as if to mock your anguish. “You made me do this” he said softly. “If you had stayed where you belonged, none of this would have happened.”

The next thing you knew, you were back in Fyodor’s domain, locked in a room with no windows and a single door that never opened unless he willed it.

Fyodor visited often, his presence both comforting and menacing. He brought you food, books, even flowers, as though these small gestures could erase what he had done.

“You forced my hand” he told you one evening, sitting beside you with a calmness that belied his actions. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but I couldn’t allow such betrayal to go unpunished. And I couldn’t allow you to leave me.”

You glared at him, anger boiling beneath your grief. “You’re a monster...” you spat.

Fyodor tilted his head, his lips curling into a faint smile. “If being a monster is what it takes to keep you, then so be it.”

He reached out, brushing your hair back gently. “Don’t you see? You belong to me. You can try to run, but I’ll always find you. I’ll always bring you back.”

You turned away, the weight of his obsession crushing your spirit. Fyodor had always been meticulous and unyielding, but now you realized the extent of his madness. You were no longer just a part of his plans, you were his plan.

[gfmima]

category : 米哈游 原神 work title : he’s not lover approved by traveler/paimon

there is nothing lyney wouldn’t do for you. if he can, he will; if he doesn’t have the means, he will find a way — no matter if it means standing still as a deer in the forest in front of the traveler and paimon, who shot him with icy glares upon discovering your romantic relationship.

he stands at your front door, in his hand a small bouquet of flowers he purchased in the city; his heart beating madly in his chest. the moment was surreal, like a suspense novel.

questions swirled, each one more bewildering than the last. why were the traveler and paimon, individuals he weren’t exactly on the best terms with, standing by your doorway? where were you? and most importantly, how did you know one another?

he didn’t know you had a personal connection with the pair, let alone be a close friend whom they held in high regard. he feared they might reveal the truth about his fate and ask you to end things, two outcomes he hoped to avoid.

the unmistakable tension in the air pours through like a fog, making it difficult to breath. he, though, was determined to dull his unease in a strained yet cheerful sing-song manner.

“ta-da~!”

alas, his attempt at levity fell flat.

“eh? paimon didn’t know you knew each other!” she yelps, a blend of surprise and curiosity in her voice. the traveler, too, nods in agreement.

lyney, feeling like an uninvited visitor in his own lover’s cozy home, removes his hate and rests it on the standee that you had thoughtfully bought for his stay. with a sense of discomfort that he tried to bury, he takes a seat on your old armchair and crosses his legs.

a faint, near inaudible, sigh was his feeble attempt to soothe the racing thoughts within his head.

“i can say the same.” his nimble hand grazes the nape of his neck. “speaking of, where might she be? and, please, do not take offense, what lured you two into her humble abode?” his eyes dart between their scuffed attire, their fatigue state raising alarms. this cannot be good…

“uh, how does paimon explain this?” she trails, and shares a glance with the traveler.

the latter, taking the lead, starts to disclose how you’d been caught in a struggle on your journey to the city. fortunately, you held your ground, battling alongside the duo.

it didn’t mean you returned completely unscathed.

his concern heightened with every single word, and once he finally reached your bedside, he knelt down. his hand gently guides your gaze to meet his.

“why didn’t you tell me?” he espies the myriad of deep cuts and bruises that marred your delicate skin, the frown on his face deepens with every discovery. “why did you hide your injuries from me? do you wish to be the demise of your poor lyney? look, i’ve sprouted a forest of silver strands thanks to the harrowing distress you’ve inflicted upon me!”

as a joke, you roll your eyes at him, which elicits a theatrical and melodramatic whine of your nickname.

“i didn’t want you to worry about me.”

“but it’s my duty to worry about you?! and you’re well aware such secrets are forbidden from me, mon couer,” he scolds, rather mischievously, his finger tracing the outline of a particularly prominent bruise. it was clear that he genuinely couldn’t bear the idea of seeing you in pain.

he didn’t need to look to know the traveler and paimon were silently mocking him. you’re the very last person to say that, he can hear one of their voices answer.

the following hours unfold as a strange experience… the trio find themselves navigating the ‘intricacies’ of caring for you and your wounds, their interactions were a pleasant balance of teamwork and arguments.

it was a bit of an overstatement, you were merely sporting a couple of bruises and cuts here and there, far from laying at death’s door. at one point, they even engaged in — a passive aggressive — discourse about the meticulous art of wrapping bandages and the hours of your antibiotics intake.

“while i do appreciate your concern, traveler. i know what’s best for her.”

lyney, adopting a firm posture with arms crossed, ushered a resolute stare at the traveler. the atmosphere brimmed with an unspoken challenge as the latter counters, “it’s impressive how informed you are… i wasn’t aware the world of magic held such peril and risk.”

“what i’m trying to say is she needs a period to rest alone.”

“however,” traveler concedes, “she also needs the support of her friends. she doesn’t need to be isolated.”

he counters with a wave of his hand, punctuating his words,“i’m not advocating for such a thing! i’m only expressing my worry about overwhelming her.”

“if you’re both going to argue, do it outside.”

there was no longer space for disagreement, the severity of your expression conveys a message that leaves no room for uncertainty or lightheartedness in your tone.

one last glimpse of your resting silhouette and he returns to the comfort of your living room, on the settee, exasperated yet cautious. meddlesome eyes preying on him, the friction amongst them was obvious to see, beneath it lays a shared regard for you wellbeing.

“can paimon stay?”

quick question, can you positively say your friends and lover get along? the short answer, no; the long answer, not really, no.

ignorant, oblivious, and unaware… there exists a plethora of words to describe the profound state of confusion you felt regarding your friends’ steadfast reluctance to embrace the wanderer as your lover. their hesitancy remained an enigma, though, you can take a ganderw and guess it might be due to his crabby demeanor.

yet, when you allude to it, they refuse to utter a word.

although it did prove to be considerably simpler to gather a proper answer from paimon than traveler. she wasn’t shy, she expressed her thoughts about him. very freely. it began with her calling him short in both stature and temperament, and eventually led up to a blunt end, saying the problem lies in his attitude.

she was in complete denial, the notion you were in love with HIM, of all people, a sentiment underscored by her disbelief at the idea.

your warm presence rendered you a person whose kindness knew no bounds. in stark contrast, he was the epitome of a grump, a less than delightful company. if you were searching for a partner, she could’ve found a more ‘suitable’ match for you!

uh, maybe a compassionate and mellow personality, a man akin to kazuha, might be the perfect choice? she entertains the idea of opening it up to the traveler.

while privy on the subject, the traveler chose to stay hushed the entire time. despite their initial resolve to be neutral, you couldn’t help but notice the bitter expression that manifests when you utter his name.

it was clear to see something occured in the past…

however, your frequent line of questioning over the passing weeks eventually wore them down. after all, alongside paimon, you were a good friend of theirs! and it only seems fair to reveal their lingering apprehensions.

the fateful encounter with wanderer, a narrative that — you had to suspend your disbelief — went back to a time before his very existence had been erased by the use of irminsul and the assistance of lesser lord kusanali. as they wove this convoluted tale, you struggle to keep pace with the details, but your patience compelled you to still try.

“well, if it isn’t sumeru’s resident grouch!” paimon interjects your conversation by greeting him with a self-satisfied grin, thinking she just coined the most clever nickname since the inception of ‘tone-deaf bard.’

with a wry smirk, he chuckles, “i wasn’t aware they allowed pets inside the tavern.”

he was an absolute menace, you inwardly comment, stifling a giggle at her antics. her tantrum-like foot stomping in the air cemented your impression that they were far from being the best of friends.

“WHY YOU!” she shrieks, and he aptly interjects by sticking his tongue out at her. naturally, it only provokes her further. “paimon seriously doesn’t like you! c’mon, traveler. let’s find a table outside.”

the latter of whom sends you an apologetic glance, one that you reciprocate, before trailing after her.

not a second later, your dear wanderer eases in close to you. his knee brushes against yours — and if he sat any nearer, it would surely invite disapproving stares from the patrons at neighboring tables. he drapes his arm around your shoulder and leans his head next to yours.

it was rather audacious of him and out of place for the aura within the restaurant.

“was it necessary to tease her?” your amusement deepens now that paimon was out of earshot.

he shakes his head then lets out a short, mirthless laugh. “it was funny and there’s no hiding it, i know you were amused as well.”

“all lies!” playfully, you narrow your eyes at him. “i’m a good person and a good person like me does not take pleasure in other’s misfortunes.”

“then what are you doing with me?”

“hm, consider it an act of kindness.”

he was going to scoff at your retort when he met your gaze, a spark of affection and desire flickers. the blithe undertone gave way to a moment of intimacy. he leans closer, his eyes locked onto yours, and in that fleeting, heart-fluttering instant, it feels as if the entire world around you waned into obscurity.

“lucky me, then.” his lips, warm and inviting, met yours in a chaste yet rousing kiss, leaving you both breathless.

unbeknownst to either of you, paimon was on her way back witnessed the scene. the traveler asked her to tell you to go outside because the food they ordered arrived. however, seeing how happy the ‘good-for-nothing grump’ made you, her perspective shifts.

she returns to their table without a sound, deciding to give you two some privacy for a little bit longer.

[puttingwingsonwords]

Lucy……. 😭

The way today’s Re: Dracula episode is built up is so perfectly suspenseful. First Lucy’s diary, telling us she’s doing so well and she’s not even scared about Van Helsing leaving—wait, what? Then Seward, aside from Renfield’s behaviour being linked to Dracula activity, casually mentions he’s not going to the Westenra’s—does he not know..? Then the letter, unopened… The telegram, late… Followed by one of the most harrowing entries in the entire book. (With amazing sound design btw.) Whew!

[boombox-fuckboy]

any podcast recommendations for guys Going Through It. im a sucker for whump and i’ve already listened to TMA and Malevolent sooo

Fiction Podcasts: Characters Going Through It / Experiencing the Horrors

Gore warning for most, here's 15 to get you started:

I am in Eskew: (Horror) David Ward is arguably the Guy Going Through It. Stories from a man living in something that very much wants to be a city, and a private investigator who was, in her words, "hired to kill a ghost". Calmly recounted stories set to Eskew's own gentle, persistent rain. The audio quality's a bit naff but the writing is spectacular. If you like the writing, also check out The Silt Verses, which is a brilliant show by the same creators.

VAST Horizon: (Sci-Fi, Horror, Thriller/Suspense Elements) And Dr. Nolira Ek is arguably the Gal Going Through it. An agronomist wakes from cryo to discover the ship she's on is dead in the water, far from their destination, and seemingly empty, barring the ship's malfunctioning AI, and an unclear reading on the monitors. I think you'll like this one. Great sound design, amazing acting, neat worldbuilding, and plenty of awful situations.

Dining in the Void: (Horror, Sci-Fi) So, the initial pacing on this one is a little weird, but stick with it. A collection of notable people are invited to a dinner aboard a space station, and find not only are they trapped there, but they're on a timer until total station destruction: unless they can figure out who's responsible. And there's someone else aboard to run a few games, just to make things more interesting. The games are frequently torturous. If that wasn't clear.

The White Vault: (Horror) By the same creators as VAST Horizon, this one follows a group sent to a remote arctic research base to diagnose and repair a problem. Trapped inside by persistant snow and wind, they discover something very interesting below their feet. Really well made show. The going through it is more spread out but there's a lot of it happening.

Archive 81: (Horror, Weird Fiction, Mystery and Urban Fantasy Elements) A young archivist is commissioned to digitize a series of tapes containing strange housing records from the 1990s. He has an increasingly bad time. Each season is connected but a bit different, so if S1 (relatively short) doesn't catch your ear, hang in for S2. You've got isolation, degredation of relationships, dehumanisation, and a fair amount of gore. And body horror on a sympathetic character is so underdone.

The Harrowing of Minerva Damson: (Fantasy, Horror) In an alternate version of our own world with supernatural monsters and basic magic, an order of women knights dedicated to managing such problems has survived all the way to the world wars, and one of them is doing her best with what she's got in the middle of it all.

SAYER: (Horror, Sci-Fi) How would you like to be the guy going through it? A series of sophisticated AI guide you soothingly through an array of mundane and horrible tasks.

WOE.BEGONE: (Sci-Fi) I don't keep up with this one any more, but I think Mike Walters goes through enough to qualify it. Even if it's frequently his own fault. A guy gets immediately in over his head when he begins to play an augmented reality game of entirely different sort. Or, the time-travel murder game.

Janus Descending: (Sci-Fi, Horror, Tragedy) A xenobiologist and a xenoanthropologist visit a dead city on a distant world, and find something awful. You hear her logs first-to-last, and his last-to-first, which is interesting framing but also makes the whole thing more painful. The audio equivalent of having your heart pulled out and ditched at the nearest wall. Listen to the supercut.

The Blood Crow Stories: (Horror) A different story every season. S1 is aboard a doomed cruise ship set during WWII, S2 is a horror western, S3 is cyberpunk with demons, and S4 is golden age cinema with a ghostly influence.

Mabel: (Supernatural, Horror, Fantasy Elements) The caretaker of a dying woman attempts to contact her granddaughter, leaving a series of increasingly unhinged voicemails. Supernatural history transitioning to poetic fae lesbian body horror.

Jar of Rebuke: (Supernatural) An amnesiac researcher with difficulties staying dead investigates strange creatures, eats tasty food, and even makes a few friends while exploring the town they live in. A character who doesn't stay dead creates a lot of scenarios for dying in interesting ways

The Waystation: (Sci-Fi, Horror) A space station picks up an odd piece of space junk which begins to have a bizzare effect on some of the crew. The rest of it? Doesn't react so well to this spreading strangeness. Some great nailgun-related noises.

Station Blue: (Psychological Horror) A drifting man takes a job as a repair technician and maintenance guy for an antarctic research base, ahead of the staff's arrival. He recounts how he got there, as his time in the base and some bizzare details about it begin to get to him. People tend to either quite like this one or don't really get the point of it, but I found it a fascinating listen.

The Hotel: (Horror) Stories from a "Hotel" which kills people, and the strange entities that make it happen. It's better than I'm making it sound, well-made with creative deaths, great sound work, and a strange staff which suffer as much as the guests. Worth checking out.

[wayward-robin]

No spoilers past the current ep if possible folks! I’m going in blind!

3x02 – Sink or Swim thoughts

Oh my goodness what an ep! Big shout out to the crew for doing such an amazing job with a very ambitious set.

Loved the water stunts with Buck being thrown around at the beginning. Clever way of showing how powerless people can be in the water. And I know why it was, but I will admit that the water being so clean was mildly funny.

Chris’ actor is just mind bogglingly good! All his scenes were brilliant.

Buck playing games with Chris to distract him from the bodies was cleverly done but good grief this show loves traumatising already traumatised characters, doesn’t it?! I mean in the last what 6 months(?) Chris has lost his mom and Buck got crushed. Now this? Yikes!

I think Bobby only has himself to blame with how Buck is turning out to be as a firefighter. Bobby refused to quit on that guy and his stepson when they were stuck on that boat. Bobby can believe Buck’s a bit reckless all he wants but Bobby can’t argue he isn’t reckless himself after that stunt!

I didn’t think both would survive but hey, they’re out on a rescue boat at least.

Maddie and her drowning victim - in his attic no less! - was so sad! All the ways you can die in the aftermath are scary to think about but drowning in your attic is unique.

Athena’s highway incident with May was harrowing. Athena just did her thing and got control and as scared as she was May really stepped up. I’m so glad the woman she was looking after was saved! Go May! She really is Athena’s daughter.

I cannot believe Eddie has gone this entire ep and not realised Chris and Buck are in danger… ah the suspense!

And Chris has just vanished over the side of the fire engine?! What?! OK I am trusting this show that it won’t kill off my favourite kid character but holy crap. I feel like I need a lay down after this but I also really, really need to know what happens next!

Loving this opening arc! I thought it would be really hard to top the earthquake but they’ve definitely outdone themselves here!

[gutsssee]

not even gonna lie these three episodes of shiganshina are possibly the most harrowing i’ve ever watched. ive simply never seen anything like it. the pacing is perfect and the way suspense is paired with consecutive losses and defeats is perfect.

not to mention, erwin’s last words to levi: upon rewatching the show, its clear to see that characters are animated not like they’re in an animated show, but like they’re real people. I first noticed this, though, during that small but heavy scene - when erwin lifts his arm up to his head, just halfway in the air, you can feel every emotion even without the images of the fallen soldiers behind him. the same level of quiet exhaustion is later mirrored in hange during season 4.

its great (i genuinely couldnt believe what was happening)

[demonslayedher]

A silly thing I've been playing with but likely won't have a chance to doodle: Fun With the Occult After the Swordsmith Village Incident

The setup is similar to the light novel in which Muichiro and Mitsuri both go help the village with their move, and Muichiro tries to help Kotetsu fix Yoriichi Type Zero. However, in this case Tecchikawa assigns them all to wait for Haganezuka to finish polishing the sword, for he'll be in bad shape after he finishes. So while they are waiting around, Mitsuri suggests they tell ghost stories.

She was inspired to do this because the last time she hung out with Shinobu, she loved how good at it Shinobu was how much fun it was to listen to her draw you in with suspense. Muichiro thinks this could be amusing and agrees, Kotetsu and Kanamori admit that it doesn't sound that fun because even though this is everyday business for Hashira they have very recently been through the most harrowing experience of their lives. Still, they agree.

Mitsuri goes first. In being so excited to get to the good parts, she accidentally skips over key details, then gives away their importance as she goes back to add them in, and at the exciting parts she builds up with confusing sound effects, and everyone is thoroughly confused before the big finish, so it ends with Mitsuri wishing there was a hole she could crawl into.

Muichiro goes next with a story he heard once. It has a very intriguing opening... but he forgot the rest.

Kanamori winds up just telling real-life stories about horrific tantrums Haganezuka has thrown. The Hashira are enthralled.

Kotetsu isn't very into this, for he's still feeling distraught about Yoriichi Type Zero. Seeing blame could very quickly be thrown on her partner, Ginko snaps back that maybe he should try to use those stupid inherited memories he said were a thing.

However, everyone agrees that this is a great idea, and the Hashira are intrigued by it too. After all, Muichiro has a powerful ancestor to pull from. Ginko knows he is doing this for fun and perhaps in jest, but she silently starts to hope he'll unlock even more amazing potential.

So Kanamori hypnotizes them all with a glass wind chime to make them all fall into a deep sleep to hopefully access those latent memories. Once they wake up, Mitsuri is the first to announce that it went really well for her--she saw through the eyes of many, many generations of her family, so clearly, like she was there in their flesh to feel their hearts beating inside her, just like the flesh she was blessed with thanks to them all those generations ago! They all had such unique and wonderful ways of meeting each other and falling deeply in love!

...and it seemed so easy for all of them; clearly she is the break in the family tradition. Mitsuri then distraught.

Kotetsu sadly announces that it didn't go so well for him. Even if he was seeing inherited memories, they were fuzzy and completely useless to him. Kanamori and Mitsuri are filled with pity for him.

But then Muichiro groggily wakes up, and everyone's very curious about if he learned anything like hidden techniques from the original Breath user. Muichiro, however, doesn't look so good. His expression is traumatized, and it very soon looks like he's getting a relapse of the poison from Upper Moon Five. They're all very concerned but powerless to help as Muichiro excuses himself to go be sick. Ginko has regrets.

So they are still waiting around. It's awkward, so Mitsuri is desperate to do something else to clear the air, anything to help!

So she suggests, why don’t they summon the soul of the swordsman Yoriichi Type Zero is based on to see if that will animate the battle doll?

Kotetsu is willing to try anything at this point, and although he has some misgivings, Kanamori goes along with it too. They succeed, the soul of Yoriichi fills the doll (which had a head very precariously attached).

The doll is extremely startled to be there. He can tell right away that something feels off. Kotetsu, eager to keep the doll from moving so much that it breaks itself more, tries to explain right away that there are parts of him still broken, like that he only has one eye, so that's probably why things look different.

Yoriichi explains no, it's not his vision. He can still see Kotetsu's insides just fine. He, Kanamori, and Mitsuri all share a creeped-out chill.

Kotetsu then explains that it maybe be the number of arms--it's either too many or not enough, since it's probably more than he had as a human but not enough to have his full range of motion. Yoriichi contemplates this a moment, then says the number of arms is different but won't be a hindrance.

Kotetsu then asks him to consider what feels off--if he can tell him that, then maybe Kotetsu will be able to figure out how to fix him. Yoriichi thinks, and then says--

"I can't Breathe."

Well, uh, that's because he has no lungs, Kotetsu explains. For that matter, he doesn't have any of the muscles or circulatory system he's used to. As these words leave his lips, Kotetsu is filled with regrets and intrepidation.

As Yoriichi realizes this, a sense of calm and gratitude overtakes him. He says that now he can experience being normal, he says.

Kanamori and Mitsuri, shivering, try to point out how wrong that is.

Anyway, thus begins Yoriichi's peaceful incarnation as a semi-functional mechanical doll hanging out with Kotetsu in the Swordsmith Village.

[seeingivy]

how to fly

satoru gojo x f!reader

content: fear of heights + stairs. reader calls satoru the worlds strongest cunt and satoru's a little bitch but also kind of a lil sweetie. megumi + tsumiki kiddos too :))

an: based on a request I received from @luna0713hunter I hope you like it sweetie pie!!!

request: satoru helping reader get over a fear of heights/stairs

--

You love Satoru Gojo. Your partner in crime - since you were mission partners during your first year at Jujutsu Tech and now partners in everything else, that mattered anyways. Life, love, two very grumpy pre-teens. What’s not to love? 

His affinity for being a little bitch. 

He’s currently sitting on the porch of your tiny town house, ankles danglinging off the black tiles. His back is pressed against the angled roof, resembling the black cat that often sunbathes in your shared lawn. 

You grab one of the sticks from the yard and throw it up, catching his attention. At the stick making contact with his face, he sits up, rubbing the now pink spot on his forehead.

“Ouch, sweetheart. You could have just hollered for me.” 

“Get off. Now. We have to go pick up Megumi from school.”

“No, I love you? No light of my life, father of my children-” 

“We don’t have children.” 

“Yes, we do!” “They’re not our biological children, asshat. Can you just come down now? Please?” 

You can feel it - the itching in your throat, the sweating in your palms, pins and needles burning in your stomach. Satoru’s just so, so high and just so, so close to the edge that even the sight of him makes you sick. 

Logically, rationally - Satoru Gojo is the strongest. A fall from a few feet high wouldn’t hurt him and knowing him, he’d take it as an opportunity to start doing some next level gymnastics to show off to the old lady who lives across the street. 

But fears aren’t logical or rational. Because in your heart of hearts, you know that Satoru will be okay if he falls. And you’ll be okay walking up and down the stairs and Satoru trying to take you on a date to the tallest building he can find so you two can get a view of the city would actually be very, very romantic. 

But it isn’t. Not for you anyway. Because that sinking feeling, that chill down your spine returns every time he brings it up.

Logically, rationally - Satoru’s your partner, you’ve been together in everything since you were fifteen. A mere fear like this should be nothing when you've shared almost everything with him.

But it feels silly to tell him that you’re scared of heights when you two basically dance with death every time you leave the house. You’ve hung upside down in curses mouths, literally been stuck in the most harrowing of situations, but free suspension in the air is what gets you. 

“Asshat? You wound me, doll. Now you have to come here and kiss it better.” 

You can feel your eyes nearly boggle out of your sockets as you look up at him, smirking down at you. His blindfold is hanging loose around his neck - a habit of his whenever he’s around you. He just knows that his pretty blue eyes can make you do almost anything he wants, even climb onto a fucking roof to kiss him. 

“Satoru. It’s almost ten past three. Megumi gets upset whenever we’re late.” 

“Then make it quick! Climb up here and give me a little kiss and we can leave.” 

You love Satoru Gojo. And you really, really hate his affinity for being a little bitch. 

“How do I get up there? I'm not the world’s strongest cunt like you.” 

“That’s two kisses now, pretty girl. And there’s a ladder up the side.” 

You feel your knees wobble as you walk over, a silver, very rickety-looking ladder, mind you, propped up against the door.

You close your eyes, uncurling and curling your balls out of their little fists as you brace yourself to go get him. It’s just a ladder. It’s just a few steps, and then you’ll be on the roof, which is plenty safe. And Satoru’s right there. Nothing can happen to you if he’s right next to you and-

“Whatcha doing, Y/N?” 

You look up to find Satoru’s little tufts of white hair peeking down at you, a glimmering smile still pressed on his face. 

“Praying to the gods. Hoping they can make you less of an idiot."

“Three kisses now, my sweet. Quit insulting me!” 

You shakily put your hands on the first rungs, your hands so clammy and sweaty that you can feel your grip shaking. He’s still watching you - rather laxly though since he’s literally on the phone with Ijichi. 

“Yeah, yeah. You might have to go get Megumi. Y/N is taking forever on her ladder.” 

“Well,  I asked her to go on it. She has to come give me three kisses for insulting me before we leave to get him.” 

“No, I am not messing with her and fine, we’ll go get him if you’re so busy.” 

He clicks his phone off, shuffling around on the roof as he puts it back in his pocket. You’re nearly halfway there, your stomach a horrible mess of knots and the tears burning in your eyes. 

When you reach the top, Satoru holds one hand out to you, which you begrudgingly take as you try your best to plant your feet on the ladder. 

Don’t think about it shaking. Don’t think about falling back. Don’t think about the ladder breaking. 

His face is a few feet away from yours, the smile on his face spread wide. You’re trying your best to blink away your tears, nearly heaving in front of him. 

“Hi princess.” 

“Satoru.”

“That’s a total of three kisses for me. For asshat, world’s strongest cunt, and praying for the gods to fix me. You should know by now that this problem is unfixable.” 

“Evidently.” 

“Four now, baby.” 

You roll your eyes as you lean forward, pressing two kisses to each of his cheeks, one on his forehead, and a peck on his lips. You pull back quickly, getting ready to get the fuck off this ladder so fast, but he pulls forward, basically hanging his torso off the roof as he grabs your face, locking your lips together again. When he pulls apart, he’s smiling at you like there’s no tomorrow and the panic in your stomach is so bad that you want to vomit off the side of the roof. 

“Let’s go get ‘Gumi. He’s probably pissed already.” 

--

You lean against the cold glass, trying to soothe your headache as you watch Satoru harass Megumi in the pick-up area, a very horrible habit he had. Satoru, the charismatic freak he was, loves to talk to all of Megumi’s little friends, much to Megumi’s dismay. 

He’s currently hanging Itadori and Megumi both by their ankles, swinging them around in the air, as they wait for Itadori’s grandpa sick. Even the sight of them, the tiniest bit above the ground makes you nauseous, making you hold your head between your knees. 

You keep your head there for what feels like an hour and you know the two of them have returned when you can hear Satoru’s teasing and Megumi’s protests. 

“Satoru. You’re so embarrassing.” 

“Aw, Megumi-chan. Don’t talk like that to your father.” 

“You’re not his father.” 

“You’re not my father.” 

You lift your head up to give Megumi a smile through a rear-view mirror, which he acknowledges with a nod when Satoru starts driving. Satoru mindlessly reaches over, locking his hands with yours as he talks to Megumi. The softness of his hand is comforting and you crack each of the knuckles on his hand, as you listen to Satoru and Megumi bicker. 

When you reach home, Megumi running off into the house to pee, while you find Tsumiki home from her class, lying down across the porch. You lean against the back of the car as Satoru grabs Megumi’s backpack and joining you at your side. 

“You okay, love?” 

“Yeah, Toru. Why?” 

“No reason. You were cracking my knuckles in the car. You only do that when you used to get all…anxious, when we started doing missions.” 

“Oh. That was just retribution for earlier. You can be really annoying.” 

“That’s one kiss for m-”

“No.” 

He pouts as he drops Megumi’s backpack onto the curb, snaking his hands against your waist as he smirks at you. You can feel your heart drop in your chest as you realize what Satoru’s about to do. 

“Wait, Toru don’t-” 

You pinch your eyes shut as you feel the cold air and Satoru laughing in your ear. You can feel that there’s no ground beneath your feet and knowing Satoru fucking Gojo, he’s probably suspened the two of you so high in the air that you’ll vomit if you open your eyes. 

“Open your eyes.” 

You shake your head blindly, clinging on for dear life as you wrap your arms around Satoru’s neck and your legs around his waist. 

“Sweetheart, this is kind of kink-”

“Satoru. Please, please put me down.” 

“Where’s the fun in that? Look down, Megumi and Tsumiki look like little ants looking up at us.” 

Little ants. Meaning your two tiny little pre-teens are so far that they look like ants. That you can’t even make their faces out. Meaning, Satoru took you so fucking high that you can barely even see people standing on the ground. You clench harder on his shirt, burying your forehead into his neck as you try to focus on his senses. 

His smell, the feel of his hair in your hands, and the sound of his voice. Granted the latter isn’t quite helping when he’s telling you how high you fucking are and his stupid hands are the reason you’re in this situation, you try your best to stop it. Stop crying, stop panting, stop freaking out. 

The second you sniffle, you hear all of the joking leave Satoru’s voice. 

“Hey, sweetheart are you crying?” 

You choke back your own tears, your voice breaking as you respond. 

“N-no, Toru. Please put me down.” 

“Love, hey. I’ll take you down right now, I’m sorry.” 

You’re not sure when you feel your feet back on the ground, but you’re still clutching onto Satoru for dear life when you hit the curb. You’re only cognizant of the fact when Tsumiki and Megumi wrap their arms around your legs, their soft voices asking you if you’re okay. 

You open your eyes to find the three of them with matching, concerned looks on their faces, Satoru’s jaw tight against his mouth. Tsumiki tugs on the bottom of your pants, her brown eyes staring back up at you.

“Do you want to eat ice cream, now?” 

“Sure, Miki. Let’s go.” 

She holds her hand out, leading you back into the house as you wipe away your tears, with Satour and Megumi following. You can hear the two of them bickering behind you, your head pounding too hard and your breaths too uneven that you can’t tell them to stop. 

“What did you do, Satoru?” 

“Nothing, ‘Gumi! I was just showing her the view.” 

“One day, when she leaves you, I’m going to go with her.” 

“Gumi.” 

You sit down at the kitchen table, Megumi at your side as Tsumiki and Satoru grab the industrial tub of chocolate ice cream Satoru bought last week. You feel Megumi link his fingers with yours under the table, giving your fingers a squeeze as you press your head against the table. 

You’re on the ground. You’re okay. You can’t fall because there’s nowhere to fall and you’re sitting at the kitchen table. Satoru’s here so you’ll be okay and nothing can happen. 

You feel Satoru’s hands in your hair and you look up to find that he’s evicted a very-annoyed Megumi from his seat next to you. There’s four spoons on the table and the ice cream open. You reach forward first, the cooling sensation and Satoru next to you soothing the panic in your chest, the needles and pins in your stomach less strong. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” 

“Yes, Miki. Thank you for the ice cream, sweet girl.” 

She gives you a soft smile as the four of you eat the ice cream in silence, your breathing slowing down as you finish. 

--

Megumi and Tsumiki run off after your little ice cream snack, the sun dipping into the horizon as you look out the window. Satoru’s in the kitchen, making Megumi and Tsumiki’s lunches for tomorrow.

No stairs today. You reach for the spare cabinet in the living room as pull out a pair of pillows and blankets for the night. 

On most days, the stairs up to your bedroom are manageable. But after today - your entire foundation is off. Even one step up, and you know you’ll have a full-blown panic if you even try to get up there. You hear Satoru drop the spoon he was holding as he gives you a spare glance, the stack of pillows and blankets in your hand. 

You watch his expression drop as he walks over to you, taking the pillows from your hands so he can hold you. 

“Love. Are you really that upset with me that you’re going to sleep on the couch?” 

“Satoru, I-” 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I just wanted to show you how the city looked and I don’t know what I did wrong but-”

“It’s not that, it’s just-” 

“You mean the world to me. I would never want to make you upset so please don’t sleep downstairs today. We can talk about it, you can slap me, but just-” 

“Gojo.” 

He’s quiet at the sound of his family name, nervous blue eyes peering into yours as he holds your hands. It’s his turn to shake, his usual smiley face so sad it makes you squelch. One thing you love about Satoru?

His love for others.

“Satoru. I’m not…mad at you. I just…can’t go upstairs.” 

You watch his confusion spread across his face as he brings his hands up to cup your cheeks, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before you keep talking. 

“I…can’t. The stairs- and getting up there, it’s just…too much.” 

“The stairs, sweet? What’s wrong with the stairs?” 

“It’s not just the stairs. It’s the ladder and you hanging Megumi and Itadori in the air and sitting on the roof and taking me in the air and-” 

“Y/N. Are you…scared of it? The stairs?”

You swallow hard as you press your head against his chest, your cheeks burning at the admission. 

“Yes. And heights. And I know it’s stupid because we literally fight curses all the time and-” 

“It’s not stupid.” 

“It is and I don’t want to be scared of it, but I just…I just can’t help it, Satoru. It makes me panic, I want to throw up, and my hands get all sweaty-” 

Satoru pulls his arms around your waist as he holds you up, crushing you in one of his warm hugs. You can hear him whispering against your ear, tears lightly flowing as he tells you it’s okay. The two of you stand there for a while, Satoru’s head pressed against your shoulder, his embrace warm. 

“Sweetheart?” 

“Yes, Satoru?” 

“Can I…help you? You don’t have to be scared of this and I don’t want you to feel this way. I’ll walk you through it, slowly. You know I’d never let anything happen to you and I-” 

You squeeze him hard, your chest burning at how sweet he can be. 

“Please? But, can we start tomorrow? I just…need a day.”

“Yes, silly girl. We can start next year if we have to. Just let me sleep on the couch with you.” 

“Not big enough, Toru.” 

“I’ll sleep on the floor. Just lean your hand over the couch so I can hold it.” 

“Okay.” 

--  

You and Satoru are standing on the lawn, three days later. Megumi and Tsumiki are lying on the porch, sunbathing like Satoru did on the roof a few days ago. They’re fully equipped - with ice cream, puke bags, and three different self-help books Satoru bought to help you get over your fear. 

He’s so stupid, it’s cute. 

“Okay, my sweet. I think you’re ready. Just a little bit in the air okay? I’ll take you up and just open your eyes. If you freak out too much, tell me and I’ll take you down.” 

“Okay.” 

Satoru snakes his hands arond your waist and squeezes, which immediately elicits a scream from you. You can hear Megumi and Tsumiki’s groans the second you stop, tiny little “you can’t be serious” and a “there’s no way” from the two of them. 

“Princess.” 

“What? How high are we? Oh my god, Toru- I’m going to vomit. I hate you. You’re stupid.” 

“We haven’t even left the ground yet.” 

You look down to find you and Satoru’s feet planted firmly on the ground and then look back up to find Satoru laughing at you. You flick the top of his forehead, rolling your eyes at him in response. 

“You’re mean, Satoru.” 

“You’re so silly, sweet girl. We haven’t even moved yet!” 

“Well, screw you. You squeezed so I thought that we did!” 

“I was just trying to reassure you.” 

“Well, you’re stupid.” 

“That’s two kisses for you~~” he sings, eyes gliting into yours. 

“No.” 

--

Slowly but surely, your fear of heights and the stairs starts to fly away. The pins and needles are little pinpricks now and every time the fear rises up in you, Satoru - his soft voice and warm hands - are always there to will it down. 

Three months later, Satoru takes you to fly. 

And you actually enjoy it.

--

taglist: @porridgesblog 

lmk if you want to be part of my jjk or permanent taglist by replying to this post or any of my writing :DD

[paltrymarshmallow]

I listen to an audiobook recording of The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on a pretty regular basis. It's short, got some lovely suspense, interesting themes, and is fun to turn over in the mind and consider all the consequences.

One small excerpt of the book has been stuck in my head for a while now, and it doesn't seem to want to let go.

When the mysteries are just starting to be revealed, it is uncovered that Dr. Jekyll is searching ferociously for some drug through letters to chemists. It's the last line of the letter that Utterson reads that refuses to leave my brain:

"Its contents ran thus: 'Dr. Jekyll presents his compliments to Messrs. Maw. He assures them that their last sample is impure and quite useless for his present purpose. In the year 18‐‐, Dr. J. purchased a somewhat large quantity from Messrs. M. He now begs them to search with most sedulous care, and should any of the same quality be left, forward it to him at once. Expense is no consideration. The importance of this to Dr. J. can hardly be exaggerated.' So far, the letter had run composedly enough, but here with a sudden splutter of the pen, the writer's emotion had broken loose. 'For God's sake,' he added, 'find me some of the old.'"

That raw desperation with that slip into first person...! It's harrowing, given the restrained tone of the rest of the letter, and of the story up until this point. The audiobook does such a good job of highlighting the fear and distress of Jekyll in this letter. And, as we see as the story continues, there is no more drug, there is no more potion, and thus, he can't go back to his life as Dr. Jekyll.

This quote, for me, is such a potent reminder that sometimes there are changes that can't be reversed, things that can't be regained, and lucky chances or experiences that will never be duplicated. There's a terror here that quite resonates: What will we lose in our lives that will have us crying, "For God's sake, find me some of the old"?

[thewertsearch]

Mega-Giga Ask Comp: Part 3

@manorinthewoods asked: I'll be honest, I wrote the Locked Tomb ask having not read the Locked Tomb series. I literally only know the starting and ending strokes of the first book. That being said, I do like the half-soul-Sollux idea, and it works pretty well with the Locked Tomb's general theme of Lyctorhood, and how knotted the whole situation with Alecto, Gideon, and Harrow ends up being. (What is even going on with Nona) ~LOSS (4/13/24) @manorinthewoods asked: You know, if you hadn't already read Gideon the Ninth, I'd have recommended it as a good second liveblog. It really does fit your preferred sort of mystery. From all the clues presented, you could probably hit very close to the ultimate solution to the Lyctoral puzzle - as close as anybody could be expected to get. ~LOSS (25/4/24) @manorinthewoods asked: The Locked Tomb's prose is pretty good. On occasion, it happens to chime with a sound of 'Homestuck', but I only recall that twice so far in my reading. I like the skelebook. ~LOSS (27/4/24)

Once again, I'm glad my hidden agenda - convincing this blog's entire readership to check out The Locked Tomb - is bearing fruit.

I agree! TLT does occasionally give Homestuck vibes, presumably because its author is a fan. For the most part, though, its prose style is all its own.

Anonymous asked: Reference to American culture: the sphere of Jade's home dropping and the timer that preceded it are references to the Times Square Ball, an annual event held every New Year's Eve. A giant ball descends down a pole at 11:59 PM and reaches the bottom at 12:00 AM, January 1. I believe that you can figure out why the reference was included in the first place. Anonymous asked: btw the gamzee page was released on new years. ‘the miracle of a new beginning’ is the new year and the lab dropping is supposed to be a reference to the ball dropping in times square

Some America Lore here that I wasn't aware of.

I was wondering exactly what Gamzee meant by 'a new beginning'. Maybe Alternia practices the tradition as well.

@omnilew asked: the way you speculate and go indepth into sburbs features and how it affects the kids, made a silly headcanon that your kidsona is reading the comic while playing out their session though this is mainly because "Eventually, we were bound to cross a couple of wires that should never have been allowed to touch" kinda references chargerkind

I like it! Maybe my 'sonas have access to a more in-depth version of Rose's walkthrough, and are adding their own commentary in quiet moments during their own adventures.

@manorinthewoods asked: Your excitement over the resurrection of Dream Jade gave me a form of suspenseful mirth. Seeing how happy you were at her resurrection, while also knowing exactly what came of it, is perhaps textbook dramatic irony. If only you'd read a panel further… ~LOSS (26/4/24)

She looked so happy to be back, too! That certainly didn't last long.

She was prototyped with a smiling corpse, though. Maybe that was just her 'default' expression, and it vanished as soon as her actual feelings asserted themselves.

@thetinygladiator asked: 'I hadn’t really thought about Sally’s ectobiological parent - but now that I am, I think the funniest possible option is that it’s her landlady.' okay but i just gotta say… this immediately makes me think about how that relates to the house-building aspect. Like, with the giant tower, are they gonna charge the Imps for rent? That might work, honestly. Where do imps even live? Bet they don't have good AC or Wi-Fi, lemme tell ya.

300 GRIST/DAY NO CRUXTRUDER NO ALCHEMY NO PETS

@manorinthewoods submitted: How many computers would you have on your person if you were playing Sburb? Jade recommends at least 5. I say I'd have a laptop, phone, a spare of both of those, and computer gloves if I need to compute really fast. Also spare gloves. Speaking of the phone - is it possible for people to put phones in their pockets? Given Karkat (and a minor gag in Act 6), we can assume that it's difficult or uncommon to carry items without using the Sylladex - or maybe it's just tied to your dexterity, and you have to hold things gingerly to avoid captchaloguing them when you pick them up. On the other hand, there's no issues with accidentally storing something you've unstored and are using - so how does the Sylladex actually work? Do people just instinctively store their items once they're done using them? Is it difficult to avoid storing something you aren't using anymore? Can you stuff phones in pockets? If not, then why develop a PDA in the first place? Given the Sylladex, it should be much more commercially viable to make a tablet. ~LOSS (24/4/24)

Since Karkat can physically pick up a book, you can probably pocket your gear - although maybe there's a difference between holding an object and trying to add it to a physical 'inventory'. Either way, the issue is easily circumvented by employing wearable tech, like the kids do.

As depicted in my alchemy binge, my primary computing device would be the Pocket Holodex, which can remote into any computer in my sylladex.

In addition, my Modular Ring shirt is also a computer, which can presumably be augmented by adding extra mod1ules over time. I'd probably also captchalogue every computer in my apartment, of which I currently have six.

I'd be exploring the Medium with a minimum of seven computers, plus one pseudo-computer, plus a phone. Jade would certainly approve.

@iris-in-the-dark-world asked: the tension in act 5 act 2 is perfect, i love it. maybe even moreso on rereads, the foreshadowing and generally ominous vibes always get to me @heliotropopause asked: You're getting to the part where the comic really starts hitting its stride. This'll be fun.

The ever-present countdown certainly adds a degree of urgency to the situation.

I'm really liking the pacing of this current act, as things slowly progress towards some critical point - one which, for now, is still shrouded in mystery.

Anonymous asked: Forwarding another ask for the person with no account ~DJ: Eridan's deal seems to be based on Wizardry Herbert - a proto-Homestuck work by Hussie. A parody of Harry Potter dealing with whether magic is real. [] But Methods of Rationality began in February 2010, so "Harry Potter but obsessed with science" might have also been an intentional reference to that.-RM @heliotropopause asked: Eridan Ampora and the Methods of Rationality sure is an idea for a fanfic. He'd be so bad at it.

Eridan would be an extremely funny choice for a ratfic protagonist. He'd be so smarmy about it - and thus, a perfect addition to their ranks.

What would the definitive Homestuck ratfic be called, do you think? I think Tool-Assisted Speedrun would be a decent choice.

@killedthekat asked: An interesting thing about doomed timelines is how they serve to prevent stable loop metagaming. As a basic example, in a typical stable time loop scenario, if you observe yourself unharmed in the future, you can throw yourself into high danger high reward situations and know that probability will twist itself into whatever improbable knot it needs to do to keep you safe. But in homestuck if you lean too hard on predestination you just get shunted into a doomed timeline for your trouble.

It's true. Timehopping just isn't fun in Homestuck, as you're constantly walking a tightrope, desperately trying to stay in the one timeline that might not get you killed.

It's a good way to prevent time-travelers from becoming overpowered - something which is probably necessary for a comic which makes such heavy use of the concept.

Anonymous asked: Now that you're updating while HS^2 is, I've realised that while I'm barely keeping up with ^2, I just yelled "Oh! Upd8!" out loud when I checked your blog, so to me? You're the real continuation of Homestuck

What an honor!

For veterans of the comic, this blog is more Homestuck: Revisited than Homestuck 2. As a woman who would much rather watch video essays about old Simpsons episodes than new seasons of the show, I completely understand why some would prefer the latter.

@manorinthewoods asked: I've since finished Worm. I think Sophia's by far the best Vriska candidate. Lisa, Amy, and Colin are less so, I think. ~LOSS (21/4/24)

Oh, nice, you got all the way through it! Worm is an absolute behemoth, and I know a lot of people who started it, and gave up halfway through.

Sophia is likely the closest match to Vriska in personality. I agree with an earlier comment, though, that the most Vriska-like character in terms of audience reaction is probably Amy.

Anonymous asked: Cannot believe someone would propose a Homestuck/Locked Tomb scenario and leave Gamzee as part of a spare pairing, when the Homestuck fic The Serendipity Gospels, written by the author of The Locked Tomb, stars Gamzee and Terezi in the proto-necromancer/cavalier dynamic. Absolutely appropriate to have Gamzee as Ninth though, since his facepaint is the direct ancestor to Harrow's. Gamzee and Terezi is such a funny pairing to go with. I'm certainly looking forward to checking out The Serendipity Gospels when I'm done with the comic - both to compare it to Homestuck and to the Locked Tomb.

As am I. Apparently it was left unfinished - but considering how long this liveblog is taking, maybe Taz will have updated by the time I'm done!

Wishful thinking, of course, but I live in hope.

@bladekindeyewear submitted:

(I started Dragon's Dogma 2 a couple weeks ago and did my best to a Gideon Nav pawn (NPC ally), facepaint and two-hander and all, and the "Jaunty Straightforward" voice selection has been EXTREMELY distracting / game-improving because her voice and attitude chatting beside my player all the time sound almost straight out of the audiobook.)

Damn, you really captured her essence. Pawn is a very fitting title for her, too :(

@manorinthewoods asked: On the topic of blood color names - Blue through Purple were renamed in Hiveswap. Originally, Vriska was Cerulean, Equius was Blue, and Gamzee was Indigo - which I like more than their modern incarnations. I think 'bronze' might also be a Hiveswap thing, although I won't dispute it, and rust might have been renamed to burgundy? Maybe burgundy is a synonym. Idk. ~LOSS (4/13/24)

I think I prefer the likes of olive, indigo and bronze over more generic terms like green, blue and brown, which would quickly lead to confusion.

Vriska's blood, for example, is also a shade of blue, so it would be a little strange if blue blood was an official term, but it didn't apply to her.

@mxamericanblue asked:hi i have been absolutely BINGING your live blog rn and i gotta just get this out this is so so cool watching you react has been giving me so much joy, i don't have a computer so i can't really experience homestuck again casually when i want to but watching you read it and react and THEORIZE??? omg your theories have been so fuckin killer it's given me a new appreciation for Hussie as a story teller and how spectacular this comic truly was thank you for this, i've been having a grand ol' time, and it's all cuz of u

Thank you! I feel like I've been theorizing a lot less since I came back from my hiatus, mostly because the comic hasn't introduced many big mysteries recently - aside, of course, from Aradia's unexplained explosion.

(Pre-posting update: Since first drafting this ask, my statement above is no longer true, as Gamzee has been revealed as Homestuck's most important character. What the actual fuck.)

@lilietsblog asked: re fifth house aradia: she's an archeolodist :)

Oh, shit, you're right.

Maybe she'd be in more danger from the Lyctor than I thought.

@ben-guy asked: Vriska's ascension to god-tier is, in my personal opinion, one of the most visually striking scenes in all of Homestuck. Also, one of the panels you didn't include (which is understandable w/ Homestuck lol. Sacrifices for the sake of brevity) specifically the one where she has him write "[…] plenty of time for that l8r" above her head… Think about the position she would have had to move him to to write that.

…jesus, Vriska. You can't just do that!

@martinkhall asked: "What is treasure but a fortune, waiting to be found?" Or stolen if you're the THIEF of Light.

Son of a bitch. That's why she's a pirate, isn't it?

Because a Thief of Light is someone who steals fortunes!

@manorinthewoods asked: Eidolons. A species purpose-built to play Sburb, while breaking every mechanic you can solely with biology. Eidolons don't sleep, and live in a hive mind. Their psychologies are very poor at recognising distinct things, with Eidolons seeing the world more in terms of a blur of colors and shapes. They thus have a very difficult time understanding Classes and Aspects, never mind that their mythology never involved deities, and they never invented chess, or games of any sort… ~LOSS (15/4/24)

The idea of a species engineered from the ground up to be Players does raise the interesting question of whether there was a first species to play Sburb.

Of course, with all the time-loops we've been working with, there might not have been a first species - unless Sburb was 'created' in some sort of metatemporal space, 'before' any loops were put in place.

@manorinthewoods submitted: You are very good at analysing Vriska's psyche. Vriska's character was executed very well, I think, and I would hate her with a burning passion platonically but to a high degree if I knew her in real life. She's just… really horrible. She's a horrible person. And half her shtick is that she keeps evading consequences in spite of that. All of her mental torture of Tavros, for instance, ends in her becoming the most powerful player in the session. What sort of justice is that, Terezi? ~LOSS (15/4/24)

She hasn't entirely evaded consequences, but it's undeniable that none of the consequences she's experienced have actually stopped her from doing the things she does.

She's lost an arm, an eye, she's been beaten up, she's bled to death, and literally none of it has caused her to let up on Tavros, even a little. Letting up on Tavros, to her, would be worse than any physical harm, because it would be an attack on her worldview.

@sanctferum asked: "Has anything come of this since, actually? I haven’t heard anything about this new comic – although I do scroll in the opposite direction any time I see a reference to Homestuck, so I guess it makes sense that I wouldn’t." - The general feel I've gotten from the community has been largely positive re: the new Homestuck 2 updates, which have indeed been happening. It's being updated once per month for now, so a lot slower going than non-hiatused OG Homestuck. But I'm enjoying it so far!

Once a month seems more sustainable than Hussie's original barely-believable pace for the comic. With Hussie no longer at the helm, expecting daily panels seems like a pretty big ask - most people don't have the time, money or energy do what Hussie did.

Anonymous asked: I don't know if you read UTDR fanfiction, but this Tavros and Vriska situation reminds me a little bit of Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach. she's trying to push him to his limits and torture him into being someone who will kill, and he just won't. say, what's your read on comparing Flowey : Vriska?

Flowey does what he does because he's lost his emotions, but Vriska does what she does because she's consumed by her emotions.

If anything, Flowey has more in common with Aradia. They're both time-travelers whose ability to feel is somewhat compromised.

Anonymous asked: WHATTTTTT HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BACK???????? I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL ON A LONG ASS HIATUS BUT I JUST JOW DISCOVERED TUMBLR ISNT GIVING ME POST NOTIFICATIONS FOR YOU ANYMORE EVEN THOUGH I HAVE IT TURNED ON FOR YOU AND IT WORKS FOR OTHER BLOGS???? WHAT THE HELL. IM GOING INSANE.

This has happened before - but before, I was also removed from Tumblr's search function, which doesn't seem to be the case this time.

Is anyone else having issues with Wertsearch post notifications?

@elkian asked: So has anyone mentioned the godhood joke yet? (The God Tiers costumes have hoods. God Hoods. Badum-tish)

LOL, I did miss that.

Anonymous asked: Fun Homestuck fact! After writing Karkat, someone brought up that the writer of the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book sounded a lot like Karkat. Andrew responded by telling them to imagine that it was actually written in all caps, basically canonizing that the 'Programming For [Expletive]s' book was written by Karkat. At least, I think that's how that went? ~LOSS (28/2/23)

And it could be any Karkat, too. Maybe one of the Karkats from a doomed timeline actually learned to code from Sollux, and became a famous ~ATH developer.

@morganwick asked: So with conversation 8=8 apparently taking place in the immediate aftermath of Rose destroying her gate (even technically during Descend), and Rose's attitude towards Kanaya in the part of it that we see, does that change how much you think her attitude in their previous conversations reflects her genuine mental state?

Oh yeah, no, I’m pretty sure she was genuinely in a bad mood here. Not really so much because of Kanaya, and I think the anger directed at Kanaya specifically was inauthentic, but the bad mood itself was real. She'd recently been injected with several months of traumatic memories, after all.

@manorinthewoods asked: That panel, of John in Vriska's 'fabulous outfit', is actually pretty neat, because you can see from the proportions how young John really is. He's small, not even fully a teenager yet, and he's been thrown into this chaotic world of humans and trolls, quadrants, violence and danger. Everyone in the game must be scared, in some degree, but none of them ever show it. It makes you wonder just how strong Skaia's children really are. ~LOSS (29/4/23)

Seriously. In what universe are 13-year-olds the people most qualified to make universes? Sburb has some very funny ideas about the optimal way it should be played.

I suppose this is something that had to be true, though, for Homestuck to be the coming-of-age story that Hussie wanted it to be.

Anonymous asked: My interpretation has always been that "the Blind Prophets" are actually just Terezi herself, in a time loop-y/predestined way. She's blind, her class is Seer, AKA prophet, and those are her numerals. Also, on an unrelated note, but to weigh in on your last ask, according to Latin conventions, the plural of lusus is lusus. Does Homestuck follow those conventions? Well…

Or, since there are two Seers in Homestuck, maybe they’re Terezi and Rose. She’s a Light Player, so a blinding would be suitably ironic.

Anonymous asked: re: captchalogue codes and the states of objects: it takes a relatively small change in the physical arrangement of atoms and whatnot to turn a ghost dad poster into, say, a little monsters poster, but the two have a relatively large difference between their conceptual nature. on the other hand, it would take a relatively large rearrangement of atoms to make the slime pogo ride be anything other than a slime pogo ride. perhaps this makes the former change state more easily than the latter? alternatively, maybe the captcha system just knows that all it would really take to make the slime pogo ride stop being covered in oil is soap and water and it's happy to do that on its own, but paper is harder to clean so it wants you to jump through more hoops for that one new question: if john had used his posters for alchemy before he was able to see their defacement, would the resultant objects also be beclowned? evidence seems to suggest that players with unawakened dream selves Will draw on their walls in their sleep and not see it until Ready, so there not being mechanisms in place to deal with that seems less likely than the alternative to me, but especially considering people who aren't them Can see the drawings, how??? would that even??? work??? what would've happened if john had done alchemy with the arms cake. i think it would be funny to see that

I think he’d still get the clown posters.

The kids keep accidentally making magic items, so It's clearly possible for someone to alchemize an object with properties they didn't foresee. Therefore, I think John would make what appears, to him, to be a normal poster - but Rose would still see it as it truly is.

Anonymous asked: any thoughts on what the horrorterrors are? beyond their (admittedly vague) intentions?

I think they’re a sign of the wider cosmology beyond Sburb - and, more specifically, a sign that there is a wider cosmology beyond Sburb.

I don't know if we'll necessarily get more expansion on them than we've already had, because their whole shtick is that they're unknowable. Needless to say, I'd love to be proven wrong.

[lemon-natalia]

The Locked Tomb Reaction - The Unwanted Guest

it’s taken a while, but finally I’ve been able to get around to liveblogging this! my understanding is that The Unwanted Guest takes place in that period of time where Palamedes is ousting Ianthe from Naberius’s body? so i’m intrigued to see what actually happens, as well as how Muir writes in a new theatre-play format

‘kissing or feeding; we can’t be sure’ haha what the fuck. we’re really going in right off the bat with the surrealist horror here. i had a feeling that Ianthe’s mindscape might be a disturbing place, and apparently i was right

ok so i’m willing to suspend my disbelief that this is just a description for the reader to understand the concept but … does either Palamedes or Ianthe’s subconscious know what a 20th century English butler is?

ohhh my god Ianthe’s in a French maid costume, is this because Palamedes considers it sexy. this is so cursed. once again suspension of disbelief, but do either of these characters know what France is?

i am very much enjoying the dynamic between the two of them here, especially how unimpressed Palamedes is with, well, everything Ianthe 

oooh okay thats intriguing, there’s another person’s voice here. my first instinct is that it’s Camilla, given Palamedes is currently in her body

wow Palamedes’ immediate response to a game of essentially 20 questions is to immediately get philosophical and start a debate about whether the soul can be changed. he sounds like the kind of person who would be absolute hell to play Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit against 

what they’re talking about here is very interesting though. i like the little glimpses we get, primarily through the Sixth and the Fifth, about what academia and science looks like in a world with necromancy. whether the soul can be changed is kind of a big hypothetical in the real world, but in TLT where you can literally summon or ‘consume’ a person’s soul it would be much more directly relevant 

also a very interesting point (at least what I think he’s saying?) from Palamedes here that just because the Lyctors lived for 10,000 years doesn’t necessarily mean that the thanergy powering them is perpetual, it could just be declining very very slowly

okay so the Voice just started talking about ‘Camilla’s idea’, so presumably not her unless she’s talking about herself in third person? it could theoretically just be Palamedes debating with himself? 

Palamedes briefly trying to play bad cop/Ace Attorney and intimidate Ianthe is hilarious 

Ianthe’s insistence that she didn’t murder Naberius because it was his job to die for her anyway is an … interesting perspective

‘she and I both understand that the goal is always worth the cost’ ngl i think Harrow herself would have something to say about that, given she literally gave herself a Claire’s lobotomy in the hope of saving Gideon. it wasn’t so much Harrow who decided that Lyctorhood was worth defeating Cytherea, but Gideon deciding for her 

once again i feel horribly bad for Naberius Tern, whose worst crime was pretty much just being an asshole

hah has Palamedes picked up a cigarette habit from Pyrrha. i’m enjoying the insight into his thought process here given that he generally comes off as knowing more than other people all the time, so it’s nice to see him actually in the process of figuring stuff out 

‘She wandered around like she was the protagonist’ HAH Ianthe i have bad news for you 

aww it’s sweet to get Pal’s view on Gideon here, namely that he thinks she’s smarter than even she gives herself credit for and that he was initially jealous of her dynamic with ‘Dulcinea’ but came to like her anyways

‘My problem was reminding myself you were a child’ ohhh my god the mysterious voice is Dulcinea! i can’t believe this is literally the only time we’ve seen Pal and Dulcinea actually interact. and isn't this possibly the first time that they've had an 'in person' (so to speak) interaction since most of their relationship was sending letters to each other?? oh i am not okay

okayy i’m interested in what Dulcinea’s saying here about how she seems to have died again and ‘something awful’ happened to her soul … it doesn’t seem to totally line up with what happened at the end of HtN, especially with her mention that there are two shores on the River. again everything seems to point to the nature of the River playing a big part in AtN 

woooh Magnus Quinn reference, my beloved 

oooh i love the contrast between Ianthe’s descriptions of her relationships with Corona and Babs - despite Babs being the one who was actually the cavalier, the kind of co-dependent relationship she has with Corona is much closer to the relationship between the other cavaliers and their necromancers. which is why the fact that she’s apparently the only Lyctor to outright murder their cavalier vs her admission that she wouldn’t have used Corona is very interesting to me

‘Coronabeth herself is part of your goal’ i’m very interested in the long-term goal of Ianthe in general. obviously one part was becoming a Lyctor, but i do wonder if she has something else planned, i doubt she’s content to just sort of do what John wants her to do forever

‘Jeannemary Chatur regaled me with the story at breakfast’ woooh Jeannemary reference. also this is such a cute detail

ooooh Palamedes's newfound cigarette habit is from Ianthe not Pyrrha, that's very fun

and Palamedes’ final point here that the soul is permeable is not just very satisfying against Ianthe’s general smugness, but has very interesting implications for all of the Lyctor characters, especially the fact that their titles are named after their cavaliers. for example, how much of Mercy’s devotion originally came from her versus the fact that Christabel pre-Res was a literal nun. and what does it mean for John and Alecto exactly - how much of the same person, or even human, is he after literally eating the soul of a planet

ok this isn’t to do with the Unwanted Guest exactly but i am very concerned by the notice at the very end that ‘Hell Will Break Loose’ in AtN. it already sounds ominous enough without considering that the previous notice, ‘Gideon will return’ at the end of HtN was done in the most painful way possible 

overall i really enjoyed this! what i really like about the additional short stories Muir writes for TLT is that you get to see little character moments and explore bits of the lore that would have dragged the main story down a bit, so it was very fun to see Palamedes and Ianthe interact one-on-one and debate a bit

and now i really have run out of stuff to liveblog about these books rip my sanity

[h50europe]

911 Buck/Tommy - I thought I lost you

(The height difference is explained by Tommy standing a step above Buck.)

Tommy was on a daring rescue mission deep in the wilderness when his distress signal suddenly disappeared. After a harrowing seventy-two hours, search teams finally located Tommy, safe but shaken. It turned out that a lightning strike had knocked out the entire system of Tommy's helicopter. Miraculously, he had found a small clearing to make an emergency landing. Stranded in uncharted territory, he began a grueling journey on foot until he stumbled upon a remote hunting lodge and an old, still working transceiver he used to make an emergency call.

It was strange not to be in charge of the plane but to sit in the passenger seat in the back as he flew home.

Leaving the plane after two hours of flight, he caught a glimpse of Buck rushing toward him, unable to stand the suspense any longer. Both men remained frozen on the stairs when they met, with Buck breathlessly exclaiming, "I thought I lost you." With unbridled relief, he hugged and kissed Tommy, his lips finding their way to Tommy's cleft first.

Meanwhile, Bobby and Athena, who had driven Buck to the airport, witnessed this heartfelt reunion from a distance. The scene evoked a sense of nostalgia in them, reminiscent of the classic movie Casablanca. However, this was no farewell; Buck had no problem showing how much he missed Tommy by shamelessly kissing him in front of everyone, to the cheers and applause of the ground crew.

[heyitschartic]

I love the Harrow Nova AU a ton, it is one of my favorite fanfic concepts to read for TLT. I think as a concept it's so intriguing just because of how much it turns everything on its head. Gideon the favored, Harrow the reject. The different ways that authors decide to depict this dynamic can be so fun and interesting. Despite this, I've only read one fanfic that didn't partway through break my suspension of disbelief beyond repair.

Something writers need to recongize is that most of the appeal in Gideon the Ninth is the relationship between Gideon and Harrow. It's fun, it's fucked up, it's interesting, and it's tragic. This AU inevitably breaks that usual bond and almost calls for some new, interesting fucked up dynamics. And you'd better deliver it or else you're stripping away some of the best parts of the story for a tacky coat of paint.

I think the problem is that you need to make some serious changes and stick to them without cracking the narrative like an egg on the sidewalk. Gideon as the Reverand Daughter is interesting, but it also requires her to, you know, act like the Reverand Daughter. A lot of the fun byplay in Gideon the Ninth is that the two of them are putting on that facade that the Ninth are fine, everything is okay, we're just two nuns. Their entire house relies on this bluff. But if Gideon is the Reverand Daughter, unless you're gonna completely change her personality, then it's gonna hit the point where you go "why is she still doing this? Gideon wouldn't care about preserving the Ninth the way Harrow would." And if you've stripped that rigid structure from her, then you better have something interesting to replace it, some fun reason that she needs to play the devout nun, or else, inevitably, everything else will start collapsing in on itself.

Harrow's situation is just so interesting on its own. The horror, the grief, the rage, the purpose of a generation given to her and then stripped away. There's so much juicy stuff to work with and if she's playing off a wet noodle, I'd almost wish she'd just do both of us a favor and kill Gideon off.

I like Harrow Nova. I like the concept and I like the stories, but it requires a pretty fundamental change to keep the narrative flowing. Maybe they're sent to something not Canaan, somewhere they're being watched and need to keep up appearances or risk having major plans blow up in their face. Maybe their new personalities force Cav Harrow to take the lead, playing mouthpiece for a Necromancer who can't handle people. Maybe Harrows life is literally on the line and Gideon cannot do anything but play-act the nun or Harrow will get killed.

There are so many fun possibilities for this what if, please use them! Otherwise it will become a fix fic and nobody wants that.

[pumpkinpot]

Dilf Sebastian pt. 3 Christmas drabble (stand alone but the series is cute)

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

A/N: I gave youngin a name.. or rather a nickname? Ro. so when you see it that's why. No beta.

.

Sebastian wasn't really a Christmas creature. He found the whole event terribly troublesome and what reprieve there was to be found did not make up for the nuisance of it all.

Thankfully, you were simple. You'd found joy in the mundanity. He sometimes wondered if you did it for his sake but it wasn't his place to ask. Or maybe he didn't want to.

The season had officially exploded onto society. Not a single place could be seen without Santa impersonators or twinkling lights which meant it was soon to creep its way into your home.

Even so there was a level of decorum that was preserved in the home you'd built. where there would usually be string lights there was candles. where there was excess sugar was the in season fruits and warm ciders.

where there was belief in Santa there was myth books and fables. You'd never told Ro that Santa was or wasn't real but allowed them to view things through the means literature. Saint Nick, Joulupukki, Gryla and Krampus.

Ro had gotten in trouble for bringing a book about Krampus, their favorite Christmas figure into class for show and tell.

A qualm Sebastian quelled with a reaming of the school board for the lack of diverse winter holiday representation in school. They compromised by dropping Ro's suspension in favor that they not speak of the matter again and they be allowed to share their books at will.

If there were more complaints there was never any word of it.

Tonight's activity was one you loved most. Drying Oranges and cinnamon for garland. you'd spent near a half hour picking the perfect oranges and a bag of cinnamon sticks.

Sebastian was appalled when you'd put the cinnamon pinecones in the shopping cart. He took them out promptly.

Suddenly what was meant to be an hour project became a days side quest.

He drove you both out of the city right then. You had no idea where he was taking you, but it was usually best not to question his determined brow.

The roads became windy and buildings sparce. Trees rushed by in a blur or browns and greens. When he finally did pull off there wasn't a sign of civilization to be seen.

He bundles Ro up in his scarf, wrapping it once around their head and again around their neck. Next he stripes his coat drapping it over your shoulders.

The forest was too thick for the inches of snowfall, except in small patches but ice and chill still nipped at you.

"won't you get cold?" Ro asks.

"Are birds often cold in the winter?" He retorts, mostly kidding.

It was meant to bring back the conversation they'd had as a family when Ro revealed they knew he was a "Crow." but when he turned he wasn't met with the excited wonder and curiosity but inquisition and sadness.

"I don't know," they say, looking up into the trees. "I hope not."

Sebastian paused. What was it like in a body filled to the brim with empathy? it seemed so harrowing to experience. He couldn't even say that he knew if birds got cold because he hadn't ever wondered about the creatures.

"Birds that don't migrate in the winter puff out their feathers and store fat to keep themselves warm," you read from the google page on your phone.

"Sort of like bears," they ask.

"Sort of like bears," you agree.

The answer seems to satisfy them because they wander off immediately.

"Thank you," Sebastian whispers.

You hum. "birds might not get cold, but I do. What are we doing out here?"

He looks up at the trees. "we're collecting pinecones for the garland."

He showed you and Ro which were preferred and you all searched.

within the hour you had two bags of pinecones. Enough to conclude the search. On the way back to the car Ro darted between trees a flash of red from Sebastians scarf zooming around.

"Look!" Ro shouts, pointing just out of your sight.

As you and Sebastian get close Ro sprints to a pine tree just the size of themselves.

"It's me sized." Ro says.

"It is," you say with a sniff. both yours and Ro's nose had become bright and runny.

"can this be our Christmas tree?"

"No" you say just as Sebatian says. "I don't see why not."

the two of you look at one another. "we don't have a saw or a way to get it home."

He smiles. "Let me worry about that, here you take these pinecones and I'll meet you home."

you drive carefully home and when you pull into the driveway Sebastian opens the front door welcoming you back.

"How did you beat us here?" you ask.

"He flew here obviously." Ro says finitely.

There was nothing else to be said. you knew better than to press for a better explanation and Ro's was likely the closest there would be to one.

Inside was the tree you'd just seen in the woods, positioned perfectly on the corner of the living room.

Ro struts to it none the wiser of how amazing its appearance is. "It's perfect!" they say.

"You really are incredibly, you know that?" you whisper to him.

It was only in this decade could he be seen doing acts like this and be called incredible and not "Demon or witch."

He'd felt affection more in the last eight years than he had in the previous thousand. It overwhelmed him in uncomfortable ways so he hummed and took back his scarf and coat to hang next to the door.

The night was further spent with Sebastian teaching you and Ro how to make cinnamon pinecones and how to harvest pine nuts.

the tree was decorated with dried oranges, roasted cinnamon sticks and little white candles.

before bed during the nightly wind down you all made pesto flat bread with the aforementioned pine nuts and re read Ro's favorite version of the Krampus tale.

.

Hey if you like this content there is more on my Master List

[evilphrog]

The previously scheduled liveblogging of Harrow the Ninth has been interrupted because IRL situations have lowered my ability to sit in suspense for 15 hours while I find out whether my blorbos are okay in the most cryptic manner possible. I cannot go on until someone tells me the following spoilers:

Is my sword theory correct?

Is Gideon returning this book (I know for a fact she has to return, but I don't know when)

Is Palamedes returning? If so, how doe sit happen, and is it in this book?

Is Camilla going to grace us with her presence?

Will Harrow and Gideon actually get to talk about their feelings in a satisfactory way?