#HOW ARE WE FUCKING FEELING
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[ID: The metronome meme. One side of the dial says "i want TMA's ending to be kept vague and open-ended it's better that way" and the other side reads "MY FUCKING GUYS GRAAAAHHHH". The metronome rapidly swinging from side to side reads "me rn". end ID]
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how are we fucking feeling gamers
#ramblings with major#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#cursing#HOW ARE WE FUCKING FEELING#on the one hand I Miss Them on the other hand GIVE THEM A CHANCE#im hoping its more like a. your bloodline is cursed but like interdimensionally#so its not Our jmart but it is one of them
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couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead
#calne ca#hatsune miku#VOCALOID#cw: body horror#<- And I Fucking Mean That We Are Not Fucking Around Today#well we are. as in I drew this as a fuckaround treat for myself#but the body horror tag is the most warranted its ever been on this blog#ask to tag#I am as ever on my journey to make calne ca Worse. her OG version is too cool. even the crab ver is too cool#I need her to be worse to look at. I am also getting myself into to mood to test my hand at boarding a pmv for my friend's cover#I think my thought for this was ''I should try and give her a more insectoid bodyplan''#which in this mostly means gently three-part body and six limbs (my favourite amount of limbs to draw rn)#actually almost gave her eight but didnt like how that silhouette came out so I mermaided her uh. abdomen I guess#though maybe next time I do this I should push that idea more. the head and torso are still very distinct for one unified part#I feel like one of my old attempts was onto something with like. a more horizontal body plan... well! live and learn etc#happy late mid autumn I guess. I should play with touys about it... I miss model kits. mayhaps...
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DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one
#i've been listening to icarus by bastille#and for some reason my brain fills in 'this is how it feels to take a fall' as 'this is how it feels to take off all your skin'#and like fuck man#and I KNOW that’s technically not a misheard lyric but my post my rules cope#anyway my line now#also probably phrased this poorly but its ok#im allowed to be incomprehensible#as a treat#and then fuckin#from we sink by of monsters and men#the original line was 'please look away dont look at me'#and i kept hearing it as 'please learn a way to look at me'#anyway#shoving this post in the queue but please be aware that i am writing it very late at night#q
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i hate you ai art i hate you "unalive" i hate you youtube premium i hate you twitter 8$ checkmark i hate you nfts i hate you therapy app advertisements i hate you non-chronological timelines i hate you instagram reels i hate you subtle tiktok filters that cant be turned off i hate you family bloggers i hate you ads on true crime episodes i hate you facebook i hate you vr glasses on chickens i hate you dystopian social media
#sorry but genuinely sometimes i feel like we live in a fucking dystopia#i get ads of chat bots designed to look like cute girls who will listen to your problems and it. god#its so unbelievably strange in some indescribable way#how am i supposed to explain that the word unalive makes me want to tear my hair out#vent#rant#idk
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does science experiments on you (homoerotically)
#petra idk if you read tags but I was wondering how ok you were with people making comics esp since tigers is ongoing;;;#I assume jokey comics are probably fine but I don't know if gets iffier beyond that#I'd hate for you to feel like your work as a comic artist is being undermined!!#I tend to think Sequentially by default hehwhwerjwh#ANYWAY#wasnt sure if I was gonna post this FUCK IT WE BALL#tiger tiger#luck tiger tiger#ludo#ludovica bonnaire#my art
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short bill cipher thing
bonus one :
#gravity falls#bill cipher#book of bill#iam highas fuck rn an idont evenknow howoer why i did thia AND MY SPACE BAR IS STILLBROKKEN ! ! AARRJH#nownow alezxherch whuy did we go on anfd give the shapes traumaa now that isnt verykind#the smarkt thing for drawing theraprism cipher would be to base it off of being inpaitent but i cant remmember SHIIIIT whta we did#all i member is drawing alot and walkinds in circles there ohand we made cookies once thatwas nice#mighttake thisone down in the morning idont know how to feel about it
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As much as i love Dungeon Meshi, i do think that given Ryoko Kui's attention to realistic worldbuilding there ought to be a companion series called Dishes Meshi where they spend 2hrs washing and drying and packing away. Alll the goddamnfuck dishes they just made
#EVERY TIME i make something even slightly fancy for dinner im like#HOW ARE YOU WASHING ALL THOSE DISHES IN A DUNGEON ?? DO Y'ALL REALLY ONLY USE 1 BIG PAN?? HOW?#where is Chilchuck being like 'jfc Laios‚ you couldn't have let this bowl soak while we made the gyoza?? now it's all dried on...'#where is Marcille going 'Ok gang. We need to stop somewhere soon to wash each of our 2 outfits. and our 173 dishtowels'#On second thought maybe Marcille just does it all with magic which makes me mad fucking jealous#if this is already covered somewhere in the Adventurer's Handbook or the later manga chapters I'll feel real dumb but Ah Well#dungeon meshi
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“i love being aromantic” i say as i feel my chest cavity rotting from the inside at the unquenchable desire for love in a way that is truly a secret third thing but its not a secret i want to keep it is a secret nobody is willing to listen to and im trapped in a state of isolation of my own making because no matter how much love i have to give it will never be enough. it will never be enough. it will never be enough.
#space.txt#aromantic#its like something gnawing on my bones!!!#i am who i am but who i am is somebody nobody else wants#and do i want to be wanted?#im trapped in a world that will never give me the dignity to be truly happy by myself#financially and culturally! im doomed by the narrative#i look forward and there will be friendships but they will never be enough i feel like a fucking ALIEN#i need to meet another aroace person irl so bad its so fucking lonely how do people deal with this#1k#all the notes on this.. WE WIL BE OKAY!!!#2k
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fuck it since my birthday is in like one day i'm gonna use my birthday wish to tell y'all to look at the shit going on in southern Appalachia right now after Hurricane Helene. look at it and talk about it and spread resources about it like wildfire because nobody else fucking is and it feels like we're on our own out here.
there are people who are stranded in hazardous areas that are still safer than trying to leave by driving on the increasingly hazardous roads. i'm personally going into my third day without electricity at this point, and haven't been able to get any gas for a generator to even keep our fridge working. there are very few places with power or running water, and cell service has just barely been restored in the last hour. ground crews are working hard to repair things, but there are many, many areas that are entirely inaccessible that may not receive these fixes for several more days if not weeks. i'm afraid my own neighborhood might become one of those areas if repairs don't get to us soon, and since we're much more rural i have a difficult time trying to be optimistic about it.
we're very far inland. i guarantee you damn near everybody here was expecting a little more rain and wind like we usually get during hurricane season, if they even heard about the hurricane beforehand in the first place since most people only got about a twelve hour notice before landfall- after several major areas had already been flooded. our terrain protects us from most major weather events- most locals have never encountered a single tornado or legitimate tornado warning in our entire lives. nobody i've talked to or heard from about it seems to have had any idea that it would be this bad. everybody's wishing that they took it more seriously, but we've never, ever had to before. i've seen people comparing it to Hurricane Katrina and honestly i'm not sure if that's all too inaccurate. today while looking for a single working gas station i drove by a military helicopter parked in front of the elementary school i went to when i was little.
please for the love of god, talk about us. talk about the good memories you had here or the beauty of our mountains, and talk about how devastated we are as we watch historic structures, buildings, and entire towns get wiped from the face of the earth like they were never even there. stop dismissing us as uneducated hicks and rednecks and hilllbillies and fucking help us.
r/Asheville resource/updates megathread (Asheville is the largest city in western North Carolina)
How to set up disaster roaming for cell service
WLOS Live updates
Duke Energy power outage map
WNC Landslide Map
Hotels accepting locals
Emergency shelter locations
I live in western North Carolina so all of my own resources are centered around that. If anybody from the other impacted areas has additional sources they'd like to add, please don't hesitate to do so.
#hurricane helene#natural disaster#appalachia#tropical storm#north carolina#tropical storm helene#i've been reblogging a good few posts about it on my main blog (@spingtail) but i get more reach here#i understand that it's hard to get actual resources for people here with how hard we've been hit & very spotty cell service anywhere#which is why i ask that yall at the very least just TALK about it. dont let us disappear quietly. holler about us until we can holler back#i'm sorry if this post comes off as aggressive or something unfortunately i've hit the point of disaster grief where i'm angry about it#and especially about the fucking silence. asheville was cut off from the world through all means except air for several days#chimney rock is fully gone and it feels like nobodys talking about it except the folks who live here & the loved ones who cant contact them#fuckass storm
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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dan, we can bring him back to life
#dunno how i feel about this but fuck it we ball#watched this a while go but just watched bride and beyond GODDAMN!!!#reanimator#herbert west#dan cain#my art#fanart#illustration#artists on tumblr#tw blood
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☀️⭐🌙👁️👑
This is the way you are supposed to play this game.
#dddaily4sherin#day 172!!#grian#smajor1995#pearlescentmoon#itlwart#goodtimeswithscar#trafficblr#traffic smp#secret life#secret life smp#secret life spoilers#life series#my art#cw blood#i had so many thoughts about this but itll be too complicated to explain it#so ill let u guys analyze it and take it how u want💥💥💥💥#(maybe ill change my mind and ramble about it later maybeeeeee idk BHASDAHW)#explodes. cant believe we can draw scar with all the winners now it still feels like a fucking hallucination
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Archery Nemesis.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#jin zixuan#wei wuxian#(Trying to not break my own continuity by showing WWX changing outfits in the middle of a comic...I'm doing my best...)#The original line for the third panel was just 'fuck you' which admittedly is a funnier line.#Wei Wuxian really does call JZX a little pretty boy (not in those words but close enough) and then dramatically one-ups him...#Not only that; he tries to use Lan Wangji's headband as a blindfold. Which I think we need to take a moment to analyze.#It's probably easiest to look at this as ship-tease but I think it's far more in line with how WWX's mask is slipping.#He knows full well how poorly touching LWJ's headband went in the past.#But somehow - in this moment of his anger being targeted at JZX - that crucial information is forgotten.#He's got tunnel vision over something so small...and what do we know about emotions that don't suit the supposed cause?#Why that would be displacement. Something is bothering him and it sure is *not* just Jin Zixuan's fancy ass.#WWX came back but he didn't come back the same. It's rather unsettling how it feels like he's putting on a performance of himself here.
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“Mistakes on mistakes until” ch 69 spoilers below!
Ahahahahahahah here I go again
Mistakes on mistakes until until I can draw Jazz with my eyes closed
I woke up, checked my phone, woke up for real and decided that whatever plans I had for this day yeah no they can wait a little bit kfkgnfk
Also. Consider listening this while reading. Or don't who am I to tell you what to do~
#maccadam#transformers#Jazz#Meister#Starscream#L I S T E N#I THINK#The “Jazz” is a hologram and “Meister” is the Real Jazz#because yeah It totally makes sense. Soundwave touched Meister so Meister must be real. And Hound could just create the hologram of Jazz#but....b u t#I can't stop thinking that there's might be something more#like...Hound wasn't exactly wery well hidden. For the love of god STArScream saw him and talked about him#and we all know than Soundwave is a fucking all seeing eye of Sauron when it comes to watching suspicious activity#I...fuckin...listen ok#Meister's plan with second Jazz is so damn clever bc it would literally show to Soundwave how Jazz and Meister can stand in the same room#but I can't help but feel that Sounders is inevitably going to discover Hound and unlike Starscream he surely knows what Hounds “thing” is#or maybe I'm just paranoid. .#maybe Jazz..I mean Meister knows something I don't#i mean duh of course he does#augh I need to stop before by brain spins itself to shreds#This fic made me overthink every detail with double intensity haha#Also. ALSO. We might see the confrontation between Meister and Jazz I feel. we might. it makes me want to giggle for some reson kgkgkg#fic fanart#momu fanart
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Just a random question to my artist followers: does anyone enjoy posting their stuff on tiktok? I can't tell if its just a me thing or if that app and its userbase are the most obnoxious compared to other social media
#txt#like any time i post something the comments are 10% related to the art#and then 50% is 'omg did you know this guy draws porn!!' and then LINKING THE FUCKING ACCOUNT#35% is someone complaining about gay people or women#and then the last 5% is someone yelling at me because they confused me with some other guy with a similar name/art style#ive also been sent genuine death threats over my dragon ball ship art. something i drew a YEAR ago#because tiktok's privacy policy is so bad that people can't dm you but they can still send message requests#is it because tiktok has a much younger userbase?#like we know how batshit twitter is and instagram is pretty annoying as well but tiktok feels like nobody knows what a filter is
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every time a tumblr post mlb rewrite mentions the fact that they're taking out marinette's 'obsessive stalker' characteristics an angel gets run over by a steamroller and fucking dies
#'but its--' YOU ARE REMOVING. PART OF ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING MORALLY GREY ASPECTS OF HER CHARACTER#***AND COMPLETELY DISREGARDING THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF EXPLORING PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS***#***AND THE LINES BETWEEN EROTOMANIC FASCINATION AND GENIUNE CONNECTION**#IF WE'RE ADDING IN MURDER AND STAKES AND HEAVY THEMES CAN WE THINK#T H I N K#FOR A SECOND ABOUT HOW MAYBE ITS OKAY FOR OUR MAIN CHARACTER TO BE A QUESTIONABLE PERSON???#SHE CAN LEARN FROM IT. YOU CAN WRITE AN ARC ABOUT IT.#SHE CAN NEVER LEARN FROM IT AT ALL AND HAVE HER OWN OBSESSION DOOM HER#OR YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OTP GET TOGETHER REGARDLESS AND SIT WITH YOUR POPCORN LIKE “wow aint that kinda fucked. wack”#BUT WHEN PEOPLE POINT OUT THE FRIDGE ICK AND FRIDGE HORROR WHY IS IT EVERYONE'S FIRST INSTINCT TO SCRUB IT OUT#****SIT***** WITH THE DISGUSTING FEELING IN YOUR STOMACH AND FUCKING BEFRIEND IT. EXPLORE THE IMPLICATIONS.#LET.#MARINETTE.#SUCK.
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