#HEADCANONS INCOMING!

[cavernfullofexistentialdread]

Happy Pride!!!

Bonus Parrleyn under cut

[peanuttoffee]

The Bad Batch finale missing scene

Yeah I needed that…

May the 4th be with you!🙌

[heartorbit]

im never finishing this ＿|￣|○

[readychilledwine]

Do we think Beron Has bastard children? Part of me thinks he'd be wise enough to ensure he doesn't get any of his mistresses pregnant but then again...

This is how we end up with headcanons.. you send interesting questions, and my hamster runs on a wheel to think about it.

Life As Beron's Side Piece Headcanons

Warnings - some NSFW inferences, mentions of smut, infidelity, breeding, mentions of execution (the ultimate NDA), misogynistic traditions, secret family

A/n - what started with me thinking about Beron with basters children turning into this. I promise my thoughts on your question are answered.

🔗The Whorehome Masterlist🔗Master Masterlist🔗

Beron only takes the finest of females for his harem. He is a very picky male with very specific tastes.

He only keeps three of you at a time, so it's best to keep his interest, or you will find yourself without a home, shamed, and lucky if he doesn't have you executed to maintain silence and secrecy

He likes to divide his time between the three of you and Lady Autumn, whom you are, under no circumstances, to speak to or look at. Even if he's making her watch him fuck you.

He tries to ensure his females all have different interests in terms of pleasure and kinks.

There's one big rule though: Don't get pregnant.

Beron tracks your cycles like clockwork. If a mistress does get pregnant by some mistake, she might want to prepare to join the low fae in the poorest communities of Autumn, possibly minus her tongue, but a bastard child is another risk to his throne, and with how ruthless his sons can be, the poor communities are probably safest anyway.

You become the first he is actively trying to breed. There's something about you that is so special, but he can't place it.

He keeps you in a different home than his other options. Beron's mistresses are always spoiled, top of the line lingerie, expensive food, great drinks, comfortable beds.

You are definitely spoiled, though. Romanced even.

Beron ensures you have a healer in the cabin, food and herbs proven to increase chances of pregnancy

You end up with a secret family with him. One that is vastly different than the one sitting at the Forest House.

Your children do not know their father is the High Lord. They are not interested in his throne. That false sense of security is something Beron has craved for a while.

Beron works to keep you and your children away and safe from his other family, going as far as ensuring everything you need is easily accessed from your home.

Beron does not actively care for his other bastard children, though there are only 2 or 3 you are aware of, the way he cares for yours.

After you, he goes back to his very strict rules but takes in another female in his harem to make it seem like you have disappeared or were removed. It's a cover that gets Eris off your trails

After you, there's no other bastards. Other than ones you two continue having together, that is.

[irishmammonagenda]

Belphie blinks at you in greeting as you slide under the covers with him, only humming gently when you hold onto him for dear life. Dark indigo eyes noticing with interest that you haven't even started getting ready for RAD yet---not that he was one to talk---the Avatar of Sloth merely gives you a lazy smirk and wraps his tail around you under the covers as you whisper a strangled out, 'hide me'.

He nods slowly, his throat feeling much too heavy, and he himself feeling much too lazy to use his words. A pale hand pulls the covers over your head, just in time too, as Lucifer bursts into the room, ruby red eyes shining like a wolf on the hunt.

"Have you seen MC?" The eldest asks, paying no mind to the usual sound of morning chaos coming from the rest of the house.

Belphie lets out a strangled, lazy, "Nope." all the while his tail tightens around you.

Lucifer shakes his head. Looking at the you shaped lump under the covers. Merely pinching the bridge of his hooked nose and sighing, "MC. If you wanted a break from RAD, you could've just asked instead of opting to hide."

You pop out from under the covers, eyes wide like a deer in headlights, Belphegor's arms wrap around you from under the covers, his eyes sleepily tracing the features of your face as you speak.

"Right.....yeah. Sorry Luci?" You tilt your head, the Avatar of Pride's eyes soften a fraction.

"Be sure to catch up on your schoolwork, we only have room for one academic failure in this house and I'm afraid that spot has permanently been reserved for Mammon." Lucifer says sternly, though you can see the faintest upward quirk of his lips.

"Aye aye Captain." You nod, sleepily saluting the eldest.

"Belphegor."

Belphie turns to look at his eldest brother.

"Just because MC has a day off school, it doesn't mean you have one. Your uniform's hanging up by your desk." The ebony-haired demon walks out of the room.

"...Diavolo fucking dammit."

[skunkox]

I love how when it comes to mateswap aus the seemingly majority agree that Milo and Darlin' are together and David is with Sweetheart. I adore it. No one is as obsessed with Milo/ Darlin' as much as I am. But like,

WHEN ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT ANGEL X ASHER AND SAM X BAAABE???

When are we gonna make a Google doc on all pack / polypack ship dynamics??? What discord sever do I need to sit in to make this shit happen?

[ask-jiro-kirisaki]

Relationship Headcanons

Being in a relationship with Jiro would require a large amount of patience at first. Given his lack of social awareness, he would often need to be told what you need from him. You would need to sit him down and have a conversation about what kind of affection you like as he often just does what he's told. Finding out what he likes would take a bit of exploring. He rarely thinks of his own needs, so it's likely he doesn't even know what he wants. Once he does figure things out, you'll find him just going for what he wants, within reason. Don't be surprised if hugs and kisses come out of nowhere. He might pull you to sit on his lap or carry you someplace where he can keep you to himself. Jiro takes the path of least resistance, so be sure to tell him what you're not okay with. He will do his absolute best to commit it to memory. The goober sometimes forgets his own strength, so you may find your feet leaving the floor more often than you think. After a while, you'd begin to wonder if it's an accident or if he's lifting you on purpose. I think once he gets a taste of physical affection, he'll start to crave it. He'll hold you close while you're snuggled up together and he's reading a book. He'll start absently playing with your hair or leaning on you. He might even reach for your hand if you're close enough and otherwise unoccupied. The feeling of your warmth is a pleasure that he seeks over and over again. He tends to run a little cold in his extremities, so brace yourself for cold hands. Once he knows what you like, he will dote on you as much as he can. He has a hard time expressing emotion, so he compensates with these acts to make sure you felt as loved and appreciated as you make him feel. If there's ever a proposal, don't expect any grand, sweeping gestures. One day, when he feels it to be the appropriate timing, he'll just bring it up as casually as asking what's for dinner. He doesn't see the need for anything else when it's just a simple question. If you end up saying no, it wouldn't hurt his feelings any. He'd simply conclude it's not the right time and try again later (unless you explicitly say marriage isn't in the cards). Patience will still be required as he has a chronic illness. He'll need frequent treatments. He can't eat or drink anything without assistance. He gets sick easily. His wounds reopen frequently. Even so, he tries to work and make you happy, so it might become your job to make sure he gets rest. He can be easily coerced back into bed with some cuddles if he's not feeling well though. I'll make a separate post for the NSFW stuff once I figure that out.

[idanit]

a day off at some country estate or other

[pendragonsclotpole]

rewatching an episode of season one of merlin right now, i have a lot of thoughts (arthur legit looks so young it’s messing with my mind realizing how much the characters grow over the seasons and oh my lordy merlin used to be so pure, so trusting, so naive *ugh*) but one thing that just popped into my head: how small Camelot looks.

this is probably due to budget reasons, but the fact that random people can show up and demand an audience with uther or appear mysteriously and meet with a prince, it just makes me wonder what that must have been like for merlin both during his time in camelot and after

we’re talking a kingdom’s whose golden age was in an era of petty states and kings, a few centuries after the fall of the roman empire. merlin fics sometimes bring up how popular merlin is among the people of camelot. it highlights the unspoken notion that camelot and its nobles and royals aree within degrees of separation.

the world, after arthur’s death, must have gotten so frightfully big for merlin. i just think, what if merlin had served arthur or another such king in a later era when the size of the kingdom was so much larger? remove the feudalistic background, if that is what they were going for in the series, and who is merlin? its for that reason that i love the joke that merlin would lowkey be a monarchist because yeah, merlin lived an early era of kings where royals could be in such close proximity and held to the standards of their people.

[drathe]

I made another Rook, this time a mourn watcher rogue Fia, young dumb and full of-

[conceptofjoy]

[cavernfullofexistentialdread]

🌻 who’s taller?

🍃 who’s the big spoon?

🌺 who asks the other out?

🍄 who’s clingier?

🍀 who steals the blankets?

🪵 who watches the other sleep?

☁️ who spoils the other?

🌾 who eats the others uneaten pizza crusts?

🌸 who cries when they watch sad movies?

🌷 who apologises first after an argument?

🪴 who wears the other’s clothes?

☀️ who beats the other at chess?

💐 who needs more reassurance?

🌿 who cooks the best?

🐚 who proposes?

any ship you like!

uhm I’m just gonna jump to Parrleyn… 🌻 - Anne. Anne is about a normal height, Cathy’s just short and everyone else is TALL (to varying degrees) it’s funny that way 🍃 - They can’t decide. They usually takes turns but sometimes one of them will get greedy. Although I think Cathy is treated like a plushie (“small, cute, soft,” -Anne) 🌺 - Boleyn unsurprisingly. But her dates usually go really badly and then end up super fun out of her pure luck. Cathy plans dates 6 months ahead of time and then forgets to even ask Anne out 🍄 - Yes (if you separate them for too long they both go feral) 🍀 - CATHY. (Rip Anne) 🪵 - Cathy. She stays up later than Anne most of the time. (other times Anne forces her to sleep through the power of cuddling) But Anne always wakes up early, so she spends some time watching her gf finally get sleep before getting out of bed. ☁️ - She’ll never admit it but Anne is a SIMP 🌾 - Cathy. Anne is very picky when it comes to bread. If you’re going to give her pastry it better be good. SHES FROM FRANCE GOD DAMNIT!! 🌸 - Cathy. Anne is part of the emotionally stunted gang and she doesn’t cry unless she’s put under pressure. Cathy is just a very emotionally open and loving person all around 🌷 - Anne. She’ll slip a note under Cathy’s door and Cathy ALWAYS without fail inevitably opens her door and they just cling to eachother for the next 3 business days 🪴 - Mmmm both of them. But Anne likes baggy clothes and since Cathy’s shorter she kinda just steals back her own clothes. Cathy on the other hand adores Anne’s scent but bc Anne buys clothes that are too big for her Cathy is just like… drowning lmao ☀️ - Obviously Cathy lmao. But sometimes when Anne doesn’t bother to keep up her silly goofy act or she’s in a bad mood she forgets to turn off smart mode and destroys her. It’s very unpredictable when this happens and Cathy gets caught off gaurd often 💐 - Yes (It’s Cathy) 🌿 - They both suck at cooking. Once Cathy burnt water and Anne is banned from the kitchen without supervision. But if I had to choose it would be Anne. (She’s only good at baking and when she cooks nice the kitchen blows up, she can only do good if it’s chaos) 🐚 - Cathy! She spends like 45 minutes on a speech and Anne just grabs her and says “And all I need is 5 seconds to say yes” and Cathy is like “stfu and kiss me already” <- (won’t admit she’s wrong)

[soulless-bex]

demigods are a bunch of preteens with adhd who climb a wall of lava for fun over the summer. their sense of danger is very, very skewed

my point is, there should be more instance of demigods doing stupid shit while out in the mortal world (on non-quest instances)

[turtleblogatlast]

Absolutely love the idea that it was April who got the boys super into snow days.

Like, pre-April, they probably would view the days as miserable, since as turtles they’re likely more susceptible to the cold and back then they probably had much less to keep warm with.

The cold altogether was just never good to them - and then April comes around and teaches them how to make a snowman. And when it’s done, she pelts them with snowballs. And suddenly, the cold is now fun, and they might still be shivering, but now they’re smiling too.

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Thoughts on Spy in Expiration Date:

————————————————————

I think Expiration Date actually gives us our first look into how badly Spy has messed up his relationships with the other mercs.

So in Expiration Date we actually see Spy putting himself out there when he tells Scout to collect everyone's dying wish. He WANTS to hear them. He’s expressing a desire to have this, (even if it’s seemingly a very small) connection with the other mercs, before they all end up dying. And even more so, he’s doing it to NO gain of his own. Like, this benefits him in NO way. He takes nothing away from learning everyone's dying wish, from making these connections, because he’s going to die the same day they do. So for ONCE, for one singular time, Spy is putting himself out there with these men he’s been growing a connection to. 

And immediately no one gives a shit. Because…why would they? 

Up to this point, what has Spy done to make them care about him? 

We can see that they don't like Spy, that much is like, perfectly clear. Scout has no respect for him, or at least, in front of the other mercs he makes it known that he’s willing to make Spy the butt of the joke. And the looks  the other mercs give him really don’t indicate that they WANT to be sitting around with Spy talking about their last wishes. They just seem…annoyed, unconvinced, bothered by whatever trick Spy is trying to pull, because what else are they supposed to assume from Spy? That he actually cares? When has he ever proved that he cares about his team, when has he ever made it known he enjoys their company or wants their friendship? Because it’s already vaguely implied that he hasn’t tried to form relationships with any of them (or I could possibly be insane and reading too far into things, who would have thought). And also, he has the persona of being a stuck up asshole. Which surely isn’t making him anymore popular with the others. 

But the sad part is that NOW, in his final days alive. When his world, and the world of the people he so DESPERATELY wants to be close to is ending, he reaches out. He reaches out and he lets himself test the waters of vulnerability, and it just doesn’t matter. It’s too late, and no one cares. 

Because it’s Spy.

And I think, I think that he sat in his smoking room before Scout eventually showed up, and had this moment of realization. This moment of clarity. Where he realized that it was genuinely too late. That he finally can’t run. He finally can’t pretend it doesn’t get to him. He’s finally reached the point where it’s too late to change. It’s too late to grow. And he pours himself a drink, lights a cigarette, and just sits there. Maybe he wonders about how the others will spend their last days. Maybe he thinks about how his deepest fears of dying alone are coming true before his very eyes and there's nothing he can do to stop it. And that, in the end, it's all his fault. 

————————————————————

Wrote this in the discord, then fleshed it out at a very chill and normal hour of 12:45 am. My apologies if this ends up making NO sense. Good morning and good night chat 😭

(Also also, this might eventually lead to a SpyDad Expiration Date breakdown post, who knows).

————————————————————

[general--winter]

How Genin Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Hinata Hyuga, Rock Lee react to accidentally kissing the reader

author's note: I am loving doing the genin headcanons, lol poor children. Enjoy!

rating: general

fandom: naruto

pairing: uchiha sasuke x gn!reader, uzumaki naruto x gn!reader, hyuga hinata x gn!reader, rock lee x gn!reader

word count: 817

warnings: none

summary: The genin accidentally kiss their crush. Chaos ensues.

Uchiha Sasuke

Oh, he’s gonna have a fit. Bonafide. He was super pissed and embarrassed when he accidentally kissed Naruto, so imagine if it was with a person that he actually liked. Yeesh, I’m so sorry. I think he would at first react in a quite nasty way, not out of malice but out of self-defense and insecurity. Remember, throughout his entire Academy education, all of the girls in his class were on him about their crushes. Pretty blatantly. I think this would definitely have some negative impact on how Sasuke views crushes at the age of a genin.

He would realize his colossal accident, though, when you were very upset. He really didn’t mean to do that, he’s really just lashing out. You would run away, and I don’t think he would chase after right away, instead trying to run into you at a later point. He would apologize after having sense beaten into him by Kakashi, and you can really tell it's hard for him to be open about this kind of stuff, so you accept it, acknowledging that neither of you are truly at fault. Sasuke’s relieved that you two can continue to be friends and get to know each other more, even if he’s gonna keep bottling up his feelings somewhat. I think you would definitely notice that his apology was still out of character, perhaps putting two and two together?

Uzumaki Naruto

Now, I think he would react the opposite of how he did when he accidentally kissed Sasuke. Instead of being grossed out that he ended up kissing someone he had no romantic feelings for, I think the poor boy would be flustered beyond all belief. Like, he would be the one to run away. After the sheer panic wore off, I think he would cackle like a mad man and immediately go brag to his team that he kissed the person he has a crush on. None of them would believe it and would grill him on what happened, leading them into discovering it was an accident.

The entire team is going to lambast Naruto for what happened and force him to go tell you that he’s sorry, but they’re quite shocked to see you come up to him to apologize before he got the chance. With a hand behind his head and a grin on his face, Naruto would accept, perhaps saying something really idiotic like how maybe it was fate or something like that, or how he doesn’t regret that it happened, especially with a close friend of his.

Hyuga Hinata

Oh look, you’ve killed her. Actually, though, she would probably flush so fast that the rush of blood to her head would make her dizzy. Immediately you would stammer out an apology, watching her stutter and try to process what just actually happened. If you were to try to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder or anything like that, please don’t. It will make it worse. Kiba, Shino, and Kurenai, her personal protection detail, would be on you in seconds, however. Shino and Kurenai would be working on getting out of her what happened while Kiba would yell at you about what happened.

I think after a couple of seconds, Hinata would be able to recover and explain the situation through her stammer. Earnestly, you would apologize to the entirety of Team 8, especially to Hinata. You would bow to her, anything to make sure that she knows that you didn’t mean to hurt her in any way. She is barely able to tell you that it was just an accident and that everything is alright before running away, her team on her heels and you left completely stunned.

Rock Lee

Rock Lee is way too polite to do anything other than pull away immediately and start apologizing. Don’t get me wrong if you didn’t express any discomfort at the situation, I think Lee would be ecstatic. But Might Guy one hundred percent had him on respect women juice from infancy. So he’ll be as chivalrous about it as possible. Expect Tenten and Neji to drag Lee away as he’s crying, having thrown himself on the ground for your forgiveness. The other two will also profusely apologize for Lee as they end the situation.

The next time you see Lee, he has a bouquet of flowers as an apology that he got from Ino. And his face is all scraped and bandaged up. You can’t help but feel a little bad about his injuries, and you genuinely weren’t upset about the accident, so you forgave Lee. His face would break out into a blush, and I see him shooting his shot with you for real, turning the giving of the bouquet from an apology into a declaration of love. Might Guy would definitely be rooting for him in the background, hidden away, crying over youthful love.