#Great Tumblr Garbage Patch | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

quixotin · 28 days ago

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We've been waiting for this shit to get good for three years.

Imagine the people who waited since it began, or even since the concept art was floating around tumblr, a good couple years before the show went live. That's easily 10 years (and in fact, in 2025, it will be 10 years since the show aired, so it's even more).

Everything you both say is absolutely on the bullseye. The poor quality of the writing being some sort of plot mechanism that viewers need patience for it to get good has become an indefensible excuse since S4.

It's just bad writing. Full stop. No need to add or argue or come up with an entire essay that rationalizes the very questionable things characters are made to do. Especially not when the show produces entire seasons or specials to patch up their plotholes and half-assed character development.

It's really quite pitiful what happened to ML, because it had a lot of potential. But that's the thing. For lack of good writing, miraculous was a show that only ran on potential. On the promise that it has to get good at some point because the premise is that good.

The pull this show had (and still has with some) honestly deserves to be studied because by god, if it's not the definition of a capitalist wetdream. It's a cash cow meant to churn out products for kids that miraculously (lol, pun intended) attracted a massive, extremely talented adult fanbase and somehow managed to delude them. Exactly as you say, they produced one good, promising scene among the garbage, and it was enough to keep us coming back to it with the hope that maybe this time would be different. It's giving toxic ex.

I think the greatest tragedy is to know that the producers had a show that could be great, one for the books, and they intentionally made it as mid as possible. And I do think it was intentional because at least here where I live in Europe, Miraculous is the kind of show that licenses cheap products for the dollar store, gas stations, etc. It is not a show that respects or even acknowledges its audience because if it did, it would have known to exploit its potential. I think the producers had always intended for it to just be marketable, not necessarily good.

I was one of those that followed the show since the creator Thomas Astruc was in tumblr. To me, the sign to leave was when the author himself left the production. What kills me is that there was (and I guess there still is) such a supportive, welcoming community behind it—I personally built unforgettable friendships through it that I still remember very fondly today. And it's a pity that such talented, devoted fans don't (and will not) be rewarded for that loyalty, especially after all this time.

whenevee I said that I'm sick of miraculous because it going down so bad there's always people who told me to be patient, it will get better and my only question is "WHEN??"

No seriously I was told the same thing when s3 end, that Marinette will share the guardian secret to cat noir now that she's a guardian (because in s2 she told cat that it's not her secret to tell and now she's a guardian IT IS her secret to tell.

S4 proof that wrong.

Then I was told that it will get better since Marinette already apologize to cat noir and s5 just get worse and worsen.

And it's not me being impatient either because I don't mind long running show, I've been watching detective Conan since I was in elementary and now I'm already adult, that's how dedicated I am to a show. But only for a show that worth my investment.

Miraculous, since s4 already showed me that this show doesn't care about Marinette get out of her flaw, it relied on the show and the fandom (especially Marinette stan) to gaslight other audience to keep saying it will be better times and times again. I don't mind s4 because I know a conflict will be resolved but for it to actually not resolved at all but getting worst instead??? Yeah, I'm not going to stick around to see Marinette going deeper into the ugliest version of herself and see everyone just nod and say "that's the greatest ladybug in all history"

I'm now gonna say s4 isn't a ladynoir conflict season, it's a season to conditioned cat noir into perfect obedience pet and all that mistreatment? It's all just her being stressed, not a big deal, everyone has a bad day right? You just need to understand and be patient even if she leash out at you BECAUSE UNDERSTANDING IS THE KEY *HEAVY SARCASM*

---

The “just wait until it gets better” crowd needs to shut the fuck up. Season four premiered three and a half years ago. We’ve been waiting for this shit to get good for three years and 55 episodes (two of the specials are part of the S5 narrative so they count as S5 episodes). How reasonable is it to expect people to wait OVER FIFTY-FIVE EPISODES for a claimed-to-be-serialized show to deliver on any of its premises? I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and say it’s absolutely bonkers.

I don’t care if there are good scenes or even whole-ass good episodes with nothing annoying in them in there. Anyone can manage to write one good episode if they're given a dozen chances to do so and the Miraculous writers have always been good at writing a singular, isolated scene that’s bound to get the audience hyped. But, like, is the show good often enough to justify the rest of the show being boring at its best or absolutely infuriating garbage at its worst? In my opinion, if the season premiere of season 5 is good while the rest of it is a downward spiral of garbage, then season 5, as a whole, is garbage. Even if we consider the specials good as well, that means less than 20% of the season is good, which is one fifth of the whole season. Season four was even worse with having only a couple of episodes I considered worth watching, meaning the percentage drops down to 10%.

This is even more inexcusable when we’re using those isolated scenes to justify this show still being watchable. Even if a single scene in an otherwise incredibly annoying episode is the hypest shit ever, it’s not gonna make me want to rewatch that episode, because those single, couple of minute scenes are, once again, less than half of the whole. This is extra annoying when the same episodes have some of the supposedly best scenes in this show coupled with some of the worst, or if the said "best scenes" are actually absolutely infuriating with their implications (like Bug Noire kicking ass only being possible by the absolute sidelining of Adrien's character). If just watching a compilation of “best X scenes” lets you get a better experience than the actual show, the actual show is bad.

Once again, the media analyst in me is looking at patterns. The people hyping this show up focus on these small increments of good or it-will-be-good-if-the-writers-commit-to-it-which-we-know-they-won’t, so they can say that following the show is still worth it, but is it really? If you start quantifying your enjoyment of this show, do you actually spend more time enjoying it than waiting for something interesting to happen? The “some parts of this show are still good” is a pattern, alright, but, we must look at what that pattern means. The pattern means that the experience of watching Miraculous is mostly waiting for that good stuff to happen every once in a while. And, like, even the good stuff has stuff that annoys me personally, or is only made possible through things that piss me off, so I find nothing to enjoy about this shitshow.

#ml salt

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inspjavert · 3 years ago

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Pleather has a place. Sure real leather is better, but it’s expensive. Lots of folks can’t afford real leather.

damn i didnt know the great pacific garbage patch had a tumblr

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gormandgasp · 7 years ago

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TRASH ISLAND

trash island seals get up in your face & snap

(those eyes though) i find home in eyes which carry the sea / whether blue is small or not (blue is huge, blue is enormous) trash seals are tough, they sleep on a heap of plastic they have forgotten the lyrics but sing very loudly

trash crabs are blistered & barnacled, tubular hermits wrong forgotten carapace crackles plastic in the bright blue net who can say how old, tis the voice of the crab who shall wear the bottom of his eyeballs rolled

trash gulls have seen things you haven’t seen they have seen wings slick with oil drag their children under they have seen their own blood speckle choked up bottle caps, red or blue, no matter / trash gulls’ eyes flash like betrayed onyx, solid oil, they have no time for brands (those eyes though : like the sea looking into me) those warm eyes i still see those ink eyes run over open waters, dive into closed waters weep into wasted water trash island accomplished in salt water, spilt water, still water still see those trash island eyes tearing up into a still, a stagnant sea / oozing out black liquid tears drop by drop by drop

#poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #great pacific garbage patch #morag mckee #berlin

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unironicallycringe · 1 year ago

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I get paid this week which means I can choose to blaze a shitpost per my own discretion and you know what I'm hauling this one into the great swirling vortex of the Tumblr garbage patch

so my partner keeps getting spam bot messages on facebook, and they decided to entertain themself by responding in long noir detective monologues. i decided it needed an audio drama version.

i have no idea how to tag this. i'm dumping it into the tumblr ocean and it will swim with the currents, godspeed

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mr-entj · 5 years ago

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Hi Mr ENTJ, How do you deal with doubt? That gripping feeling that you're just not enough and you should be better? How do you look for answers from the inside rather than just patch in on from the outside? Thanks.

Related answers:

Can you talk about the quality(ies) or trait(s) that contributed most to your success?

What do you think is required from a person to succeed ?

Dealing with failure and overcoming adversity

You’re referring specifically to self-doubt. This is a great question that took me a long time to properly articulate a response because I didn’t want to dismiss it with a stereotypical: “I don’t feel self-doubt. I just fix the problem, power through it, and move on!” like every other ExTJ out there. I want to properly explain why this is the case so let me try:

I don’t often experience self-doubt or the gripping feeling that I’m not good enough, not because I’m a perfect human being (far from it-- here’s a greatest hits collection of some of my biggest failures), but because of my general approach to life that’s shaped by a few key beliefs.

1. I know where the world ends and where I begin

This means that I know where the line exists between what I want and what the world wants, between who I am and who other people want me to be, and between my expectations for my life and other people’s expectations of me. I see this boundary crystal clear and I enforce it. I set my own goals and I hold myself accountable to them.

This helps fight self-doubt because I don’t attach my self-esteem and self-worth to externally defined goals or assessments, I don’t accept unwanted input into my personal life from people who don’t matter, and I don’t compare myself to other people in destructive ways. If I compare myself to other people, it’s for the purposes of data gathering and not validation.

For example, the knowledge that most students graduate college in 4 years tells me that 4 years is the average amount of time. My key takeaway is that 3 years is above average speed and 4+ years is below average speed so I should aim to get my degree in approximately 4 years. My key takeaway is not that I’m a disastrous failure if I don’t graduate college in 4 years. And FYI, I ended up graduating in 6 years because I dropped out for 2 years and I still turned out fine.

Self-defined and self-enforced goals are critical to combating self-doubt because they mute all the outside noise; pushy parents, nosy friends, aggressive colleagues, and fickle societal standards. Life is very difficult by itself without the added complexity of multiple people pulling you in different directions that you don’t even want to go. Set clear boundaries and take the time to self-reflect what’s important to you so that you can be happy with the results of your efforts even if they don’t yield acknowledgement from anyone else.

tl;dr:

Find peace with the life you create for yourself because it’s you that has to live it.

2. I keep the big picture in mind, always

This means perspective. In the grand scheme of things, small losses here and there don’t amount to much because life is a marathon and not a sprint. This means that if you screw up today, there’s a high chance you can fix it tomorrow. If not, then know the world isn’t going to end because of it. The sun will still rise, babies will still be born, puppies will still be cute, your family will still love you, Tumblr will still be toxic, and the earth will still spin on its axis. I have failed classes, almost got held back in school, screwed up at work, infuriated important people, been rejected from 100+ jobs, lost important scholarships, and things still worked out because those failures didn’t matter in the long run even if they felt enormous at the time I was experiencing them. I know mistakes can be fixed, they’re not permanent, and they don’t sabotage the grand vision I have for my life. It makes the times I fall on my ass less painful which consequently makes me less fearful of trying to fly over and over again until I get it right.

This helps fight self-doubt because I attach failure to individual outcomes (actions) but I do not attach failure to me personally (identity).

For example, if I applied to Harvard University but got rejected, my interpretation of that outcome is this: “I failed to get into Harvard.” Yes, I failed to get into Harvard (action) but no, I am not a failure (identity).

The failure starts and stops at the end of an outcome, I don’t let it escape its container and infect other parts of my life by internalizing this kind of garbage: “I failed to get into Harvard so I’m dumb, I’m unworthy, and I suck.” This prevents self-doubt because I know failure is an isolated incident and I don’t take it personally. I don’t absorb failure as a personal identity-- I attach it to the specific event, action, or outcome and then store it in my vast library of knowledge as a lesson learned.

tl;dr:

Life is long and screwing up is part of the journey. Remember that you can fail at things (action) without being a failure (identity).

3. I accept that life is a game of probability

This means that I view life as a statistics game with events on a sliding scale between low probability of success and high probability of success. Probability of success is influenced by many variables such as my preparation, my natural abilities, the economy, my competition, timing, etc. I adjust the probability of success based on those variables to make better predictions:

I know that if my goal is to join the National Basketball Association (NBA), my probability of success is lower because my basketball skills and physical traits are below the average of a typical professional basketball player.

I know that if my goal is to get accepted to one of the best universities in the world, my probability of success is higher because my grades, test scores, and academic profile are above the average of a typical applicant.

Low probability of success doesn’t mean low effort. I don’t half-ass things that are unlikely to happen, I put high effort in all my endeavors if I really care about them and an obvious example of that is my life. Everything I’ve achieved in my life has been statistically improbable because I come from an underprivileged background where it was highly unlikely for me to have the life I have now. I beat the odds and achieved my goals anyway because I maximized my chances of success.

This perspective influences how I interpret success and failure:

Low probability of success that results in failure: “This outcome is what I expected so I’m not surprised, but at least I tried, gave it my best shot, and I know the answer. I’ll learn where I can improve and take that knowledge forward into the future.”

Low probability of success that results in success: “This outcome is not what I expected but I’m pleased it went my way. I understand this was an exception to the norm and I’m grateful it leaned in my favor.”

High probability of success that results in success: “This outcome is what I expected and I’m pleased it went my way. I need to continue doing the things that worked well and keep that knowledge for future reference.”

High probability of success that results in failure: “This outcome is not what I expected so I’m disappointed. I need to evaluate why I failed, understand how I can improve, and try again until I get it right.”

This helps fight self-doubt because it does one very crucial thing for me: it makes it impossible for me to lose.

I tell people all the time: “I’m undefeated because I’m still standing and I’m still going.” I can’t lose, I can only learn. It enables me to set realistic goals, have realistic expectations about my chances to achieve them, understand why I failed, and feel grateful when I succeed. Success is never guaranteed and failure is always accounted for in my calculations so I’m never blindsided. I know that I can be “perfect” and still fail, but I also know that I can be “imperfect” and still succeed. If I’ve done everything within my power and it’s still not going my way, then I’m not plagued with self-doubt because I can accept it was beyond my control and that it’s time to try something else.

tl;dr:

Many things in life are out of your control but try your best so you have peace of mind that you’re not quitting-- you’re moving on.

I’m not invincible, but for these reasons, it’s rare for me to feel self-doubt because I don’t view life as a game of “am I good enough or not?” I view life as a game of “what’s the best way to get what I want and did it work?” My two options are then: 1) Succeed, learn, and move on or 2) Fail, learn, and move on. There’s no third option to spiral into uncertainty and crippling self-doubt. I focus my energy on identifying the problem, the variables I can control, and the learnings from my outcomes.

In the rare times I do feel self-doubt, I go through a rigorous self-reflection exercise to identify the cause whether that’s concerns about personal decisions I’ve made, thoughts on my professional trajectory, or the state of my relationships. I identify the outcome that I want, gather information on how to secure that outcome, and give it my best shot. The result of that effort provides knowledge, wisdom, and opportunities to either 1) continue on the same path or 2) stop and try something else.

Ultimately, I always feel like there’s something wonderful in life waiting for me just around the corner and agonizing over past failures or self-doubt-- instead of getting up and trying again-- only delays me getting it.

#doubt #self-esteem #self-confidence #self-doubt #psychology #strength #personality #failure #success #personal #faq

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nobody-wants-ice-cream · 5 years ago

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Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 3, Extra Ordinary.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Usual disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

Vanya was clearly about to sell her violin. She looked dejected and sad and was detached from her violin case. This is in character for Vanya on her pills, who must have decided that she wasn’t good enough at one point. Sin for putting Vanya through trauma. +1

The Umbrella Academy comics are priced weirdly. The one on the right is $25.00 and the one on the left is $15.00. What makes the one on the right more expensive? It even says on the cover that the one on the right was supposed to be $0.50. So why the inflation? Taking a closer look, all six heroes are on the cover, so it’s not that either of them are pre-Five leaving and therefore more expensive because Five is on both of them. Though, the one on the right does have a picture of Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus, Ben, and Reginald under where it says that the comic is 50 cents. To make a long rant short, the comics that Vanya looks at in the pawn shop window are confusing. +1

However, Gabriel Ba’s art. -1

The strange lack of technology means that Vanya’s book was written on a typewriter. +1

Vanya needed 6 pencils to write her book with. These are maybe supposed to symbolize Vanya’s 6 siblings, in which case, interesting detail, but still. Six pencils. As opposed to one pencil and a pencil sharpener? Why all the tools Vanya? +1

The six pencils (with two pointer up) symbolize Vanya’s six siblings, two of which turned around since the siblings they are supposed to represent (Five and Ben) are no longer around. -1

Vanya’s dying houseplant. Water that! +1

Vanya collects another houseplant and it looks relatively healthy. -1

The messy table garbage still has the same plate and same crumpled papers/napkins in the same position. Either Vanya was super lazy, or the set designer/director was. +1

Vanya replaced the dying houseplant with the fresh one. Poor houseplant. I will mourn you. +1

“Lost Woman” has some really on the nose lyrics. Playing the phrase “lonely woman” before Vanya starts narrating her book is ridiculously on the nose. +1

However, “Lost Woman” happens to be one of my favorite tracks from the series. -1

Luther should be part ape in this scene, (as it takes place five years ago, not seven), but he looks completely normal. This is a massive continuity error so I’m adding two sins. +2

“Starved for attention” is the line Vanya narrates over Allison reading it. On. The. Nose. +1

Diego is so pissed off at Vanya that he tapes her likeness to a punching bag and punches it. You know, like a rational adult. +1

Klaus is wearing birkenstocks and burgundy capris. +1

Also, Ben and Klaus work together to read a book. -1

But I have to ask, why did the rehab let Klaus read during group therapy. And shush his dead brother’s ghost. +1

Ben is pissed off by the line “and haunted by what might have been.” On the nose. +1

Five reads the harsh line “we all wanted to be loved by a man incapable of giving love” while next to Dolores, who is also incapable of giving love because she is a mannequin. Also, Five reads this book, full of vitriol and hate, as the last connection he has to his siblings, at age thirteen. +2

Reginald doesn’t read the book that his daughter wrote. As usual, Reggie is a dick to Vanya. +1

Vanya’s reaction to being late to rehearsal is so relatable. I swear I have done this a thousand times as a musician. -1

The Netflix captions (yes I watch with captions) say “Chamber music playing”. They have a conductor. +1

The conductor has the character of all conductors. Dick. +1

Vanya isn’t vibrating when the rest of the orchestra is. Late or not, you still need to follow the concertmaster, Vanya. +1

The rainy weather matching Vanya’s stormy mood. Foreshadowing. -1

Badass umbrella title screen. -1

However, why are all those people stopping in the street? It’s raining, get to where you’re going! +1

Allison and Luther watch the tape where Reggie dies over and over. This is weird, even if they are trying to figure out if Grace killed him. Who would want to watch someone die over and over? Not even I want to replay Reggie dying, and I genuinely hate him. +1

Luther says that Reggie thought people were out to get him. On the first watch, the audience can chalk this up to Reggie being a paranoid old man, however on the second watch we know that the Commission exists and that Reggie is probably not from this world. So either of those groups could have been out to get him. But who? This remains a sin until they explain it. +1

Training posters in the kitchen. The kitchen! Really, Reggie. +1

There’s this weird caterpillar thing with a face behind Grace in this scene. What the hell is that? +1

There was also a radio in the kitchen, which implies that Reggie either let them listen to tunes, or had training cassettes the same way he had training records. Either way, what the hell, Reggie? +1

There is a ridiculous amount of light sources in this one room. +1

Grace has a cactus full of toothpicks or skewers by the stove. Cute art project, whichever kid but likely Diego based on his fascination with pointy things. -1

The “your father was a great man” speech. Poor Grace. +1

Jordan Clare Robbins is an excellent actress. -1

Smiley face made of two eggs and a strip of bacon. -1

Diego doesn’t understand the chain of custody regarding evidence. Patch says that if he touches a piece of evidence, she can’t use it in her case. How many murderers have walked free because of Diego? +1

Hazel and Cha Cha use bullets from 1963. Dallas foreshadowing? Remains a sin until season two confirms the Dallas plot. +1

These bullets were found on the random local hires Five killed at Griddy’s. Why does the Commission use bullets from the early 60’s? Isn’t that a big red flag to their time organization? +1

Patch indulges Diego the Vigilante by asking for his help. You’re a police officer, you got this, Patch. Also, this foreshadows her death when she does things his way and gets killed for it. +1

Diego tells Patch to investigate Five. Oh, the irony. +1

“I do give a shit” is such a weird line to try to portray as romantic with the music, tone, and lighting, show. +1

Beeman, unprofessionally, brings up the fact that Patch and Diego used to date while at a crime scene. +1

Vanya washes her hands for two seconds and then goes to talk to Helen. Almost like that was the real reason why she was in there. +1

Vanya attempts to compliment Helen Cho, who is overall, not interested. Is this Vanya’s repressed way of flirting? Pick a better time.+1

Seriously, what is with Vanya and starting conversations at the absolute worst time. It’s like she wants to get insulted. +1

No way in hell would one professional musician to another be this bitchy, Helen Cho. +1

Helen straight up calls Vanya talentless. What an awful thing to say! +1

She softens, as if she just gave Vanya legitimate career advice, but she didn’t. She really just insulted the time and effort Vanya put into her instrument. As a musician, I can confirm that what Helen just said is the equivalent of saying something really, really nasty. Tumblr hate anons have nothing on what Helen just said. +3

Vanya takes a pill after being called talentless. Pill foreshadowing. -1

Cha Cha uses a curling iron to cauterise the wound Five gave her from the shovel. Where did the curling iron come from? +1

“The entire fate of the universe” oh Hazel. Thanks for the irony. +1

How did no one in the history of this shady motel notice the hidden panel? You would think at least one person attempting to have shower sex or someone cleaning or someone doing matinence should have noticed that, right? +1

Five stitches up his wound by himself despite the fact that multiple people are in the house that are capable. He’s going to pull a few of those based on the angle. Also, Five didn’t bother to clean the blood off his arm, so who knows if he bothered to sterilize the needle or his hands or anything. +1

The wound on Cha Cha and the wound on Five are eerily similar. However, what makes them interesting is that Cha Cha decided to cauterize where Five decided to stitch. Both are decent methods, but Cha Cha’s way is going to leave severe permanent scarring and Five’s way might heal. This could foreshadow the way they treat the end of the world. Cha Cha wants to end it, Five wants to fix it. Maybe not Cha Cha herself, but she does represent the Commission and their ideals. She is a stickler for their rules and uses her last moments to try to call them and get rescued. Point is. This is an English teacher moment full of symbolism, and I respect the show for this choice. -1

Billy the Choo Choo bandages. First of all, Five can never get away from the childishness of his current form. Second of all, Reggie let Five have “Billy the Choo Choo” licenced bandages??? +1

Or, Five chose to buy/steal these bandages. +1

Five puts a clean, white uniform shirt over blood that he still hasn’t cleaned up. At this point, that has got to be uncomfortably sticky. +1

Five didn’t bother to clean his wound until morning. “I guess I’ll go to sleep and bleed”???+1

Or, it took Five several hours to get the supplies. Bullshit. No way in hell did Reggie not have those supplies lying around. +1

Five still chooses to wear the full uniform ensemble even though he could at the very least get rid of the tie. +1

The teleporting kid gets the fire escape bedroom. It’s like Reggie was begging Five to sneak out of the house. +1

Dumpster Bagel: Do Not Eat. +1

“I’m done funding your drug habit” you never did in the first place? You didn’t pay him at all for that magnificent acting?? Unless Five did this before he left the mansion, in which case, Five funded Klaus’s drug habit. +1

Justin Min looks so incredibly creepy sitting on the dumpster. He has such a blank expression. Also, when did he move from the fire escape? +1

“I love you. Even if you can’t love yourself!” is a great line. -1

When Five drives away in the stolen van, he passes an absolutely bewildered guy. How the hell did Five function as an assassin? He can’t do subtlety. This contradicts “I know how to do everything”. +1

Was Aidan Gallagher actually driving in this scene? Because it kind of looks like the way a beginner would drive. This also contradicts “I know how to do everything” +1

There’s a lady passing Meritech that actually chose to wear a baby pink fedora. M’costume. +1

Five left his wife stuck in a bag and didn’t remember her. +1

He also left a bottle of some clear liquor on top of her. +1

“This is the place that it was made. Or will be made.” The delivery on this line was kinda bad. +1

Allison used her power on Claire. Claire was three years old. No matter which way you slice it, this is the shittiest thing Allison has ever done. She’s working on it, but the fact that it happened deserves a sin. +1

Emmy Raver-Lampman is a kick ass actress. -1

Allison has the most warranted case of impostor syndrome ever. Sin off because this is the one of the few scenes where two characters actually talk about their emotions. -1

Luther and Allison had that conversation sitting ridiculously far apart. +1

Leonard’s shop is called “Imperial Woodwares” Apparently, he delivers as well. How did Leonard get the business and woodworking skills necessary for running a relatively successful shop while in prison? +1

Leonard somehow knows that Vanya’s orchestra (which rehearses and performs in the Icarus Theatre) is far from Bricktown. At this point, he shouldn’t know that unless that is the only orchestra in the entire city. There is no way that that is the only orchestra in the entire city. +1

Leonard took up wood carving in prison. Is that allowed? +1

If a guy you just met makes a wood carving in your likeness you should run. Run like hell. Get a restraining order. That is so creepy. Obvious villain is obvious. +1

Also, I once read a fanfic (The Moon Laughs by Lady_Origami on ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/17959847/chapters/42417584) where a character is kidnaped by Leonard and tortured in this backroom where he’s showing Vanya the creepy statue. I can see where the inspiration came from. This back room has “place to keep the person I kidnaped and torture them” vibes.+1

Leonard stayed up all night to make the creepy woodcarving. He then insists that Vanya take it. And Vanya doesn’t recognize the creepy vibes. +1

And she does take it! +1

Leonard says that he made the carving for her and that she inspired him. Obvious manipulation is obvious. +1

Leonard is a dick to Vanya by using Allison’s successful career. +1

Leonard doesn’t like the Beatles. +1

Why did Allison go to Bricktown to find Vanya when that is nowhere near the theatre or Vanya’s apartment? Was she just wandering around hoping to find Vanya? +1

Allison is the Queen of actually talking out her thoughts and feelings. She just apologized to Vanya and explained why she was so angry in the last episode. Well done. I respect that. -1

Allison and Vanya sisterly bonding. -1

Five sees children playing and then immediately starts having an apocalypse flashback. This shows that Five lost his childhood as soon as he time traveled to the apocalypse. I’m sad now. +1

Aidan Gallagher plays this really well. -1

If you look closely, you can see Five/Aidan Gallagher laughing at Luther/Tom Hopper because he can’t fit in the van. I can’t tell if Five is laughing at Luther or if Aidan is laughing at Tom. Either way, that slaps. -1

However, corpsing. +1

No one has written Klaus/Dolores fanfic yet. They really hit it off in the van, y’all. +1

Five throws an empty can at Klaus for messing with Dolores. +1

Klaus’s expression after Five says “does it matter, it’s Klaus.” Sinning because Five is a dick to Klaus. +1

“Did I ever tell you about the time I tried to wax my ass with chocolate pudding. It was so painful.” I love this line. God bless Robert Sheehan. -1

Aidan Gallagher contemplates this line then starts corpsing. I don’t blame him. I’ve been trying to figure out how that would be possible too. -1

How can you use chocolate pudding to wax any hair? +1

Aidan Gallagher laughs at this line, meaning Five found this funny, but didn’t want to give Klaus the satisfaction of laughing. +1

Luther and Five are dicks to Klaus. They kicked him out of the van! Assholes. +1

Luther is sort of trying to connect with Five, but he fails miserably because it comes out really condescending. +1

“I don’t think that I’m better than you, Number One. I know I am.” Hubris much, Five? +1

Luther is already sick of Five’s “I’m better than you, I’ve done things you couldn’t comprehend” schtick and Five has only been back for three days. And we make fun of Luther’s moon thing. We get it, Five, you’re a badass. Actions speak louder than words, old man. +1

On the side of the Variety Store Klaus steals from is a billboard for Clever Crisp Cereal, which is the cereal that Reggie invented in the comics. I guess he did that here too. -1

Also, Klaus steals from the Variety Store and drops everything while running away. Why did you steal so much shit if you knew you were going to drop it all Klaus? +1

Ben’s reaction to this buffoonery must have been hilarious. Sinning the show for not showing us that. +1

“Now I’m starting to wonder if that was the wisest decision.” What? Kicking Klaus out of the van or Klaus deciding to rob the store? Because both were pretty stupid. +1

Does Agnes own Griddy’s? +1

Agnes just gave some valuable baking tips when it comes to doughnuts. Thanks, Agnes. -1

Agnes and Hazel are really cute together. -1

The Hazel and Agnes theme is my favorite instrumental piece from the whole show. -1

There are still bullet holes in the walls. Attention to detail! -1

Hazel and Cha Cha pretend to be social workers or private detectives concerned for Five’s well being. Oh, the irony. +1

“I mean who lets a kid get a tattoo” Reginald Hargreeves. That’s who. +12

Agnes is indignant about Five’s tattoo, citing his age. This whole episode has a ridiculous amount of irony. +1

Agnes draws the umbrella tattoo a bit too perfectly for someone who only saw it once and at the wrong angle. +1

Diego straight up threatens Luther at knifepoint. +1

This family meeting is a complete shitshow. +1

The monocle is likely to become a s2 plotpoint because Diego put it in a place where anyone could take it. If you’ve read the comics, you know why I think that’s important, but I won’t spoil it for anyone who hasn’t. Either way, that was a dumb way to dispose of the monocle, Diego. +1

Diego is a dick to Vanya until she agrees with him. +1

They are legitimately talking about killing their mother. What the fuck. +1

Klaus references the van when only Luther, Five, and presumably Ben know about it. This makes no sense. +1

Votes to kill Mom: Luther, Allison, Ben +3

Klaus hisses at Ben and no one thinks this is weird. +1

Grace definitely heard Luther and Allison voting to kill her. After she made them breakfast too! Luther and Allison are dicks in this scene. (And so is Ben but Grace couldn’t hear him.) +2

Grace tries to prove her worth by making cookies. Fuck Luther, Allison, and Ben for voting to turn her off. +3

Diego and Vanya actually have a civil conversation. Well done for doing the bare minimum, Diego? -1

Vanya’s pills suggest that she was friendlier with Diego at some point. +1

Pogo for sure saw that whole thing and he saw Vanya take the pills. Dr. Complicit. +1

Reginald is a total soccer mom in Diego’s flashback scenes. This amuses me. -1

However, Reginald raised six child soldiers as “crime deterrents” so +6

Luther is casually working out in his bedroom while the mission alarm is going off. +1

“Where’s my knives” was a phrase Diego practiced. Also, Diego would never lose his knives. +1

Vanya’s room is a fucking closet. +1

“Thank you, Mother” Dante Albidone is a treasure. -1

“Boys will be boys” this is the only time that phrase is acceptable. When you’re putting out a fire your son caused for no reason. -1

“You did it! I’m so proud of you!” -1

Reginald interrupts this. +2

Diego’s flashbacks were very unorganized, which makes sense. This is probably several years worth of mission flashbacks. -1

“It’s okay if you hated him” “I would understand if you wanted to hurt him”-2

David Castaneda and Jordan Claire Robbins nailed this scene. Two kick ass actors being incredible. -1

Did Five really sit there all day with no breaks? +1

Five is arguing with Dolores and losing. She is a manifestation of his subconscious. And she is winning this argument. +1

Aidan Gallagher looked directly into the camera. We made eye contact. It was weird. +1

Lance straight up sells those illegal prosthetics where anyone could see it. Lance is an idiot. +1

Agnes’s drawing led Hazel and Cha Cha to the Academy. +1

Cha Cha left the window down in the car. +1

Would that air thing actually work? If it wouldn’t then sin on Reggie for getting cheap locks. If it would, sin on me for not getting better locks sooner. +1

Hazel and Cha Cha don’t have their masks on. What if somebody saw them? +1

The portrait of Five comes back to bite the Academy in the ass. Why haven’t they gotten rid of it? Five has been back for three days. +1

Klaus has black nail polish on his toes. -1

No way in hell is Klaus able to have his eyes open in a soapy bathtub. +1

The ghosts are creepy. Sin because Klaus is traumatized. +1

“We’re Through” by the Hollies is one of my favorite songs to play on guitar. It’s a decent coffee shop piece and I like playing it live. Thank you show, for helping me discover it. -1

Klaus is taking a bath with the door open. +1

Luther has been eating his Wheaties, Cha Cha. If you call experimental ape drugs, Wheaties. +1

Luther describing sunrise on the moon. I like this bit of writing. -1

Where were Hazel and Cha Cha keeping their guns and masks? Special pockets? +1

Diego is the only person who could possibly bring knives to a gun fight and win. Diego is a badass. -1

Hazel and Cha Cha continue to have stormtrooper aim. There are so many times when either could have shot Diego, but magically miss because Diego has plot armor. +1

Reginald’s portrait gets shot though. Right in some lethal areas. This amuses me. -1

Grace is so out of it she doesn’t notice heavy gunfire. Reggie, you suck. +1

“Who the hell are these guys?”/”Who the hell are these people?” +1

Diego, Luther and Allison just saved your ass. Less arguing, more fighting the crazy people. +1

Reggie keeps convenient weapons everywhere like they’re lamps. +1

Vanya is still in the Academy hours after the meeting, and she doesn’t think to hide during all this crazy gunfire and fighting. Sigh. +1

Seriously, it’s like she’s trying to get killed. +1

But she doesn’t because she has plot armor. +1

“Hey, asshole” goes back to Five’s “hey, assholes” from episode one. So did Luther learn that from Five, did Five learn that from Luther, or did Reggie decide that that was an acceptable phrase to teach his children? I lowkey want to write all three in a crackfic. Nice. -1

Vanya probably has a concussion. Otherwise, she would have attempted to run, right? Please tell me she isn’t that stupid. +1

You know that b99 meme where shit is going down and Gina is just chilling with her headphones. Yeah. That. Klaus, get some situational awareness, please. Also, what are these magic noise cancelling headphones that can block out the sound of gunfire and where can I buy them? +1

Allison, I understand why you don’t want to rumor anyone, but your life is literally in danger. I think you can forgive yourself if you rumor Hazel and Cha Cha into not killing you and your family. +1

“You wanna rumor this psycho?” “I don’t need to because this bitch just pissed me off” These are both horrible lines. I can’t tell if it’s because of the writers or because of the actors, but both of these lines are genuinely terrible. +1

“We just want the boy”. Nice comics reference, Cha Cha. -1

Diego doesn’t attempt to fight Cha Cha and give Allison the upper hand. He just sort of stands there. What the hell, Diego? +1

And when he does fight her, he doesn’t use any long range weapons. Diego, this is your house. I’m assuming you know where the knife drawer is? +1

Ben attempts to give Klaus privacy. In this situation. That’s a sin. I would risk seeing my brother’s naked body if it meant he wouldn’t be shot. Just sayin’, Ben. Get all up in his face. Put your ghost hands through his head. Get his attention! +1

Luther and Hazel can go hand to hand as equals and the show never addresses why. +1

Vanya really is that stupid. There are plenty of doors. And the fire escape from Five’s room. Vanya, run!+1

Luther had plenty of time to get out of the way of the chandaller. Why didn’t he shove his siblings and follow one of them? The motion would have made sense. +1

This ape reveal makes no sense. It would have worked in episode one, but it’s weird in episode 3. Why didn’t they reveal this to the audience earlier? +1

The dinosaur footprint sound effect. +1

Why didn’t Vanya and Allison hear Grace humming? Also, why didn’t anyone hear Hazel and Cha Cha breaking in. It was established in episode one that there is no soundproofing. +1

Grace is cross stitching the moon exploding. Foreshadowing. -1

She is pulling the needle through her own hand though. +1

Who gave Grace that nice bracelet? That’s so adorable. -1

Diego killed his own mother. +1

However, it is a mercy kill. Who knows what Luther or Allison would have done to her if they had found out how screwed up Grace was. I’m really conflicted about this scene. On one hand, fridging, on the other, it makes sense. Therefore, it’s a wash. -1

What is this magic cloth that Allison gives Vanya to mop up the blood and where can I get it? Seriously, it cleans up blood ridiculously well. To the point where it doesn’t look like Vanya’s been injured. +1

Diego takes out his anger/sadness/frustration on Vanya. Also, Diego would be excellent at cinema sins. Vanya could have been killed and she was stupid to stay, but there is no reason to raise your voice at her like that, Diego. +1

“She is a liability”. And you are an asshole. Diego just said that line to Allison as if Vanya wasn’t even there. As if she was just some inanimate burden. Fuck Diego for this line. +1

Allison doesn’t even attempt to defend Vanya. Even if Diego made a good point, there is no reason to let him get away with that kind of emotional abuse. +1

The show kind of addresses Luther’s body image issues, but doesn’t let him talk about it. +1

When did Vanya get Leonard’s address? +1

“I didn’t know where else to go”. Home perhaps? To your apartment? And not into the arms of creepy Leonard? +1

Hazel and Cha Cha didn’t discuss what to do if shit went sideways. No wonder Five was better than them. +1

When would Hazel have kidnaped Klaus? We don’t see it happen so we should just assume that Klaus appeared there magically? +1

Hazel and Cha Cha have FRC 891 as a licence plate. Neverending Chaos. Google FRC 891 Umbrella Academy. -1

Overall Review:

I forgot just how important episode three really is. Here we learn just how harmful Vanya’s book was, that Vanya is in an orchestra, and more about Leonard. This episode carves out who Vanya is as a character before Leonard sinks his claws into her. We can see the effects of the pills on her ability to connect with others and her ability to play the violin.

We also get a lot from the other characters. The Claire reveal is a big one for Allison. So is the ape reveal for Luther, even if it should have happened two episodes ago.

As for acting shout outs, Emmy Raver-Lampman and Jordan Claire Robbins killed it in this episode. I can’t wait to see more of Emmy in s2 and I really hope that Jordan will return.

There was some excellent use of irony in this episode. Like a lot of irony. What killed me was the Griddy’s scene. Hazel and Cha Cha pretending to care about Five’s well being so they can murder him and Agnes being indignant about someone as young as Five getting a tattoo is just amazing.

As for plot things, this was really a Vanya-centric episode. It establishes a lot of things about her, which makes the twist at the end even more obvious. This is not my first, second, or even third rewatch, so I know what’s coming, but how did I not see it before? When I first watched it I thought that Five was the main character and that Vanya was a self-insert. Looking back, I can see that Five and Vanya had pretty equal backstory and screen time given to them. You could make the argument that they are the main characters. You could even argue that they’re the primary protagonist and antagonist, but to be frank, that discussion should be saved for episode 10.

Total: 133

Sentence: Eating a dumpster bagel.

#The Umbrella Academy #all in good fun #luther hargreeves #diego hargreeves #Allison Hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #five hargreeves #ben hargreeves #vanya hargreeves #Grace Hargreeves #leonard peabody #hazel and cha cha

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squirmymochi · 5 years ago

Text

mall date - klance omorashi

commission for matt on tumblr!!! thank you so much for commissioning me & talking with me about voltron, i really hope you enjoy your fic! it was a lot of fun to work on :)

read it on Ao3

my commission info

---

It’s not a date, Lance tells himself, for maybe the hundredth time that day. He’s just taking me to see a movie, and that’s only because we’re both fans of the series. There’s nothing strictly romantic about seeing a movie with a friend, right?

Still, that doesn’t stop his heart from pounding rapidly inside his chest, or his hands from shaking and sweating, or his mouth and throat from going completely dry. He swallows nervously, wiping his palms along the side of his jeans as subtly as he can, his throat working hard against the lump that’s lodged itself there.

Keith notices. Of course he does, because for all that he pretends to be an oblivious idiot, he does on occasion pay attention to his surroundings. He taps Lance on the shoulder gently, tilting his head to the side in a way that can’t possibly be as cute as it is.

“You thirsty?” he asks, his eyes flickering down to Lance’s mouth for a second, setting his skin on fire.

“I-I’m fine!” Lance replies, but his voice sounds strained even to his own ears. Keith raises an eyebrow, then turns back to face the concessions counter. He’s already ordered a large popcorn for the two of them to share, and a box of Sour Patch Kids that’s probably about half as full as it’s advertised to be.

“Can we get two large sodas, too?” Keith asks, reaching for his wallet. Lance scrambles inside his backpack for the money he’d put aside for their not-date, but Keith’s other hand shoots out to stop him before he can offer to pay for half.

“It’s my treat,” he says, a small smile on his face, and Lance practically melts right there. He’s seriously a goner at this point.

The cashier returns with two comically sized cups of coke, and Keith pays quickly, handing one of the cups and the box of popcorn to Lance before they make their way over to the theater. They’re seeing the newest Voltron movie, the one that just came out a couple of days prior. Lance has been looking forward to it for months, and seeing it with Keith is the icing on the cake.

They settle into their seats as the previews start, and once again Lance finds himself getting nervous. He pops a couple of pieces of popcorn into his mouth and chews quickly, then takes a couple of long sips of his drink. He feels hot sitting this close to Keith, and the salt from the popcorn isn’t helping his dry mouth, but if he stops eating he doesn’t know where he’ll put his hands, so he keeps going anyway. By the time the movie actually starts, his cup is half empty.

Voltron: Defender of Life is amazing, as expected. Lance almost forgets his nerves entirely, being so sucked into the plot that he doesn’t even realize Keith’s hand is brushing against his underneath the armrest. Just as he suspected, nothing can take him out of the universe of paladins and space lions with a healthy side of relationship drama.

Well, almost nothing can. Halfway into the movie he shifts to get more comfortable and feels a short pang from his bladder. He winces, glancing down at his soda cup once again. He can see through the clear lid that he’s already drank most of it, which explains the tight, aching feeling in his abdomen. He should probably head to the bathroom as soon as the movie is over, save himself from further pain.

His saving grace is the fact that once the movie is over, Keith will most likely have to go to the bathroom, too. They had the same size sodas, which means if Lance is feeling the urge to go, Keith will probably be feeling it just as strongly. That means they’ll both be able to go without one of them awkwardly having to wait for the other one, which gives him some semblance of hope.

He tries to pay attention to the movie from then on, but once he’d realized how much he needs to use the bathroom, he can’t get the feeling to go away. It’s like a nagging presence in the back of his brain, reminding him every now and then with little pangs of aching that he shouldn’t have drank his soda so early on into the showing. By the time the credits roll, he’s not even sad about the movie being over--he just wants to find a bathroom before things get worse for him.

“Did you like it?” Keith asks as they stand, waiting for the people next to them to file out of the theater before it’s their turn to exit.

“Huh?” Lance replies, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Standing upright--and standing still, at that--has not done any favors for his situation, but like hell he’ll ever show his need in front of Keith. The two of them may be on friendlier terms now, but that doesn’t mean Keith won’t make fun of him if he starts whining and dancing like a child.

“I asked if you liked the movie,” Keith says again, tilting his head towards the screen. “I thought it was good. The Voltron directors really know what they’re doing by now.”

“O-Oh, yeah,” Lance agrees with a rapid string of nods. “I liked it a lot, too. Um, Akira is really hot, don’t you think?”

“Akira, huh?” Keith muses. “I kind of liked Leandro, actually.”

Lance forces himself to chuckle as the line of viewers makes its way towards the exit. He picks up his now empty soda cup, then reaches for Keith’s, and his heart drops into his stomach.

Keith’s cup of soda is almost completely full, barely having been touched throughout the entire movie. Not to mention the fact that sweat has started to form on the outside of the cup, wetting his hand and making him shiver involuntarily. This is bad, he thinks, rocking his hips to the side once when he’s sure Keith isn’t looking. If he doesn’t have to pee, there’s no way I’ll be able to go without making it awkward! I should have thought ahead…

Well, there’s nothing to do about it now. His only choice is to suck it up and wait during the half-hour long ride back to his house. Sure, he’s pretty uncomfortable right now, but he’ll be able to wait a half an hour. He’s seventeen, for crying out loud, not some little helpless kid! No seventeen-year-old asks their not-date to wait for them while they run to the bathroom because they can’t hold it any longer.

With his mind made up, he shuffles out of the row of seats behind Keith, using the opportunity of his turned back to squeeze his thighs together as he moves. This is--this is fine. He’s fine! He can totally hold it until he gets home.

The lights are so bright when he exits the theater that he has to squint his eyes against the glare. He’d almost forgotten how light the rest of the world was, being submerged in the darkness of the theater for over two hours. As he lets his eyes adjust, he catches sight of a blue hanging sign with the symbols for the men’s and women’s bathrooms installed in a corridor to their left. His eyes drift down, and he winces as though he were in physical pain.

There’s a long, long line trailing out of both the men’s and women’s bathrooms. It stretches from the entrance to the bathroom almost all the way to the theater they’d just come out of, and from the looks of it, it doesn’t seem to be moving very quickly at all. A few people have even taken out their phones to kill time.

None of this bodes well for Lance. If he hadn’t been sure about holding it all the way home before, this definitely would have cemented his resolve. There’s no way he’s going to make Keith stand there and wait for him while he inches his way through the slowest moving line of all time! Not only would that be beyond embarrassing for him, it would totally ruin the good mood they’d had coming into the date-

The not-date. It’s not a date.

He takes a deep breath and tears his eyes away from the line and the temptation of the bathroom, turning instead to the trash can on his other side. He tosses his empty cup into the bin, then holds up the other one with a questioning look towards Keith.

“I’m done with it,” Keith tells him, crushing the bag of popcorn and throwing it after Lance’s cup. “Guess I wasn’t as thirsty as I thought.”

“O-Okay,” Lance says, placing the cup at the top of the nearly-full garbage can and immediately reaching down to wipe his damp hand on the leg of his pants. He shudders at the thought of an entire large cup of soda inside him, making its way into his already stretched-out bladder. He grits his teeth and forces himself to straighten up, falling into step with Keith as they head towards the exit.

Half an hour left, he thinks, not daring to imagine what would happen if they were to get stuck in traffic. You can do this. Do not let Keith know you have to go. There’s no way you’ll live it down.

“Are you hungry at all?” Keith asks with a glance towards the stairs that lead to the food court. “We could get something to eat. I know food court food isn’t great, but it’s better than nothing. All you’ve eaten since we got here is popcorn.”

“I’m fine!” Lance says, maybe a bit too quickly to be casual. “I-I mean, if you’re hungry, we can stop by, but I’m okay.”

“Hm,” Keith hums. “I’m not really hungry, either.”

“Alright!”

They continue on their way towards the exit, although Keith keeps stopping to look inside each store they pass and making small talk about the stuff displayed in the windows. (He seems particularly skeptical of the mannequins inside the Gap.) Lance does his best to respond normally, but his jokes seem to fall flat, and he can tell he’s acting a little bit strange. It’s too bad he’s in such a rush to get home--he’d be having a great time if he weren’t so uncomfortable. He’s starting to consider if the word desperate applies to the situation yet, or if he’s still got a ways to go before he can claim to be so. He shifts his hips side to side once, trying to make it look like he’s just restless, but it doesn’t help at all.

He’s taken three more steps towards the door, which is in his line of sight now and looks terribly inviting, when he realizes Keith isn’t by his side anymore. Confused, he turns to look the way they’d come and sees Keith standing in front of yet another store. This one has skateboard decks lined up with the colorful sides showing, and behind that are Thrasher jackets and snapbacks and other skater gear.

Keith isn’t saying anything this time. He seems distracted, staring intently at one of the decks with a familiar red lion on the underside.

“Keith?” Lance calls out. “What’s up, buddy?”

Keith blinks, then shakes his head once. His hair falls back in front of his face, perfect as ever. “Sorry,” he says. “I just- That’s a really nice deck.”

Lance starts to speak, to ask if he wants to go in, when his bladder gives off a pang of hurt far more intense than the aching he’d experienced before. He hisses, crossing one leg over the other and bending forward slightly, bobbing on the spot. He bites at his lip until it hurts, squeezing his thighs together as tight as he can and shifting his legs back and forth slightly, holding his breath against the wave of desperation--yes, desperation now. His hands are shoved into his jacket pockets, balled into fists as he tries to will the feeling away.

Once he’s sure he’s in no immediate danger, and the throbbing feeling in his bladder has reduced itself enough, he lets out a long, shaky breath. He’s fine. He’s fine. He’s got everything under control.

Glancing up, he finds that Keith has already turned back to admire the skateboard deck in the window. Thank god, he thinks, letting out another sigh of relief. (Not that kind of relief, though. He’s still got a long way to go before he gets that.)

“It okay if we go in?” Keith asks, glancing over his shoulder for a second. Lance nods, not trusting his voice not to shake or his mouth not to blurt out that he’d really like to be heading home right about now.

He shuffles after Keith into the skate shop, worrying his lip between his teeth as he moves. He probably won’t take long, he tells himself as Keith loops around to the other side of the window to look at the deck. Besides, you’re not a kid anymore. You can wait a few more minutes than you thought.

Still, he can’t seem to take his mind off his bladder no matter how hard he tries to. The need to pee is overtaking his mind and body at once, forcing him to keep moving around the store or shifting from side to side and chewing on his lip until it’s red and puffy. He just wants to go, in more ways than one. He hates needing to pee in public, especially when he’s out with his friends and can’t conveniently find an excuse to slip away. Maybe he should have asked Keith to wait at the skate shop while he went to the bathroom, but he doesn’t know this mall well, and he’s never been very good with maps, which probably would have left him wandering around searching for a restroom for minutes on end while Keith stood inside the shop, wondering what was taking him so long.

Stop thinking about it, idiot! he berates himself as his bladder contracts sharply, the mental image of a bathroom almost too much for him to take. He hisses in pain and just barely thinks to duck behind a rack of skateboard decks before shoving his hand deep between his legs, pressing the heel of his hand down hard against his crotch. He bends one knee, lifting his foot off the ground as he twists his leg inwards against the other and clenches his other fist against his thigh, praying for the urge to go away. His bladder aches persistently, demanding that he find relief soon before something bad happens, but at this point he’s made up his mind. He’ll hold it until he gets home, or he’ll die trying.

(It’s starting to feel like that’s a real possibility, at this point. He vaguely remembers reading about the human bladder and how it can explode under too much pressure, and it definitely feels like there’s enough pressure down there right now, but he refuses to believe that his stupid pride could be responsible for bodily damage, especially when it comes to something so stupid.)

“Sir?” a soft voice comes from behind him, and he whips around, his hand flying away from his crotch and behind his back, foot landing firmly on the ground once again. A small employee stands in front of him, one eyebrow raised, and a flush of embarrassment settles over his cheeks as he realizes they’d seen the whole thing.

“Are you doing okay, sir?” the employee asks, the double meaning clear in their voice. “Need help with anything?”

“I’m fine!” Lance insists, though his voice comes out squeaky and unconvincing. Just great, he groans internally. The poor kid probably thinks he’s jacking off in their store, when the last thing on his mind right now is sex. “Just… Admiring the skateboards, you know?”

“Yeah…” the employee says, sounding far from convinced. “Well, let us know if we can help you at all.”

“I will,” Lance says too quickly, all too eager to get out of the kid’s line of sight. At least it was just some stranger that saw him hold himself like a child, and not someone he knows. (Specifically, not Keith.)

Once he’s alone again, he leans against the closest wall and sighs, crossing one leg over the other and tipping his head back to bump against the exposed brick. He focuses on taking even breaths, in and out, hoping that if he calms his mind down it’ll work on the rest of his body, too. He feels too tense, too high-strung for someone who’s known for being easygoing and chill. He needs to calm down and handle the, er, situation with a level head, or else he really isn’t going to make it.

He feels a tap on his shoulder, and snaps his head forward so fast he almost gets dizzy. Upon opening his eyes, he finds Keith standing in front of him, the deck from before tucked under his arm.

“Gonna get it?” Lance asks, his voice shaky in a way he can’t excuse. Keith raises an eyebrow at him, but doesn’t pry.

“Yeah, I think so,” he says, reaching up to run his finger along the smooth, wooden edge of the deck. “Do you mind waiting while I pay for it?”

Lance glances towards the counter at the front of the store, his heart sinking when he sees the short line of people waiting to buy their skate gear. “Sure,” he agrees, trying not to sigh out loud. He’s not annoyed with Keith, not really. He just wants to get home as fast as possible.

“Thanks,” Keith says, then turns towards the checkout counter. Lance counts the number of items visible in the customers’ hands as he waits, partly to distract himself from the nagging feeling in his abdomen and partly to calculate about how long he’ll have to wait until they finally get out of there.

The minutes tick down agonizingly slowly, and with each passing second Lance feels closer and closer to losing control. He really can’t remember the last time he’d needed to pee this bad outside of his own home. Sure, he gets distracted easily, but most of the time when he feels something this urgent, he gives up on whatever he’s doing and listens to his body.

He remembers once, back in fifth grade, he’d been so sucked into a new video game he’d received for Christmas that he hadn’t moved from in front of the TV for a solid seven hours. That, coupled with the numerous cans of Mountain Dew that he’d chugged in between battles had been a very uncomfortable recipe for disaster. He’d ended up running to the bathroom as soon as the last battle was over with his hands between his legs, dribbling little droplets of warm urine on the hard wood floor as he’d ran. Luckily, he’d made it to the toilet just in time and had been able to clean up the mess before anyone else figured out what was going on, but it had still been way too close a call.

He also remembers the incredible feeling of much-needed relief that had washed over him as soon as he’d started pissing in earnest, and the thought sends a shudder through his body. If it had felt that good back then, with his tiny fifth-grade bladder stretched to the limits, just imagine how nice it would feel to let go now, at seventeen, with a tank almost as full as it had been before, only scaled up to size. It would probably be the most insanely pleasurable feeling right now, letting go all over the floor and finally, finally being able to relax once again.

He barely stops himself from letting out a shrill, ear-splitting squeal as he feels a few drops of pee escape him, dripping out of the slit of his dick and moistening his underwear where it sits right over his entrance. He freezes, tensing every muscle in his body to stop the leak, holding his breath and bracing himself against the wall until his legs hurt, keeping his thighs locked together as tight as they’ll go.

This is bad. This is really bad. He’s reaching uncharted levels of desperation, and he’s not sure if and how he’s going to survive the half-hour long car ride back to his house with his pants and his dignity intact. It just doesn’t seem possible, to hold this much pee that much longer. He already feels so full, and it hasn’t even been that long since he’d finished his soda. What if his body filters his fluids on the ride home and adds even more urine to the mix?

God, he’s getting even more desperate just thinking about it. He lets out a pained sigh through his teeth and cracks his eye open, thanking the heavens that Keith is next in line. He grits his teeth and bears the aching in his abdomen as he watches Keith pay, and as soon as the employee hands the receipt over he’s making his way over, meeting Keith halfway to the door.

“Ready to go?” he asks, a little bit too quickly, but he’s not in the right state of mind to cover for it. He needs to get out of here, needs to go home so he can pee, and then he can come up with some sort of excuse for his behavior.

“Yeah,” Keith says, hooking his arm around the deck and leading the way towards the parking lot. For someone so short, he is a relatively quick walker, and Lance is both thankful and resentful of that face. The quick pace means that they’ll arrive at the car sooner, but it also gives Lance less rope to manage his desperation. He doesn’t want to take such long strides to keep up--he wants to press his legs together and bend his knees and hobble along at a pace unsuited to someone so tall and lanky, but wouldn’t that look suspicious. So instead he kind of awkwardly moves his hips forwards and backwards and side to side, hoping that it isn’t terribly obvious what his problem is. At least Keith is walking ahead of him so he won’t be able to tell.

They make it to the car. Keith throws his new deck in the back seat, then settles into the driver’s side, waiting for Lance to sit down as well. The car is a little small, which means he has to bend his knees and hunch his shoulders to fit inside comfortably--although nothing he’s doing is comfortable at this point. At last, they’re both situated, and Keith takes off in the direction of home.

They talk a little, for the first ten minutes or so of the drive, and despite Lance’s desperate state clouding his mind until he has trouble following the conversation, it does help get his mind off of his current situation. Keith asks him more questions about the new Voltron movie, and they even get a new theory started that Akira is actually part of the Galran race as well as being human, but by the time they’ve fully fleshed it out, he’s back to clenching his fists by his side and taking steadying breaths in and out.

God, what he wouldn’t give to be able to grab himself right now. He just wants to squirm and dance around until he makes it to a bathroom, but he can’t do that with Keith barely a foot away, expecting him to contribute to the conversation with absolutely no idea what Lance’s problem is. So he’s forced to sit there, rigid and stiff, unable to do anything to relieve the horrible, aching pressure between his hips.

That is, until they hit a bump.

It’s not a huge, car-crashing, concussion-dealing bump, but nonetheless it is a bump, and as soon as the front tire hits whatever object was in the way, Lance loses control for just a second. There’s a heart-stopping moment while they’re in the air when he realizes that this is his ultimate doom, and when they hit the ground once again, he feels a long, hot jet of piss squirt out of him, wetting the inside of his boxers with a soft hiss.

He gasps, doubling over in his seat and slamming his legs together, both hands flying down to bury themselves between his legs as he openly squirms back and forth, doing everything in his power to stop himself from flooding his pants and the seat of Keith’s car right then and there. The pressure in his bladder spikes as he attempts to get his body back under control, urging him to keep going, to give up and let go and finally achieve the blissful feeling of emptiness he’s been craving for so long now, but he won’t. With a groan of pain, he clenches his sphincter muscles as tight as he can, wrapping both hands around the head of his dick and squeezing as if his life depends on it, arching his back and lifting his hips off the seat of the car, and at last gets the stream under control.

He can feel the wetness of his underwear, the sticky warmth spreading inside his pants but thankfully not soaking through to the outside. He can also feel Keith’s eyes on him, and all of a sudden his entire face bursts into a blush, shame overtaking him.

“Are you okay, Lance?” Keith asks, even though Lance is clearly not okay.

“Ahh… I’m…” Lance grunts, “I’m fine…”

Keith, obviously, is not convinced. “Do you need to pee?” he asks, rather bluntly, but Lance is in no position to judge his social etiquette when he still has both hands wrapped around his dick in a rather public setting.

“M-Maybe a little,” he breathes, his cheeks reddening further. “I, ah, fuck, I might have drained my, uh, my soda too fast b-back at the movie theater.”

His brow is covered in a sheen of sweat from the amount of effort he’s putting into holding it in, and his whole body feels tense and tired, like it’s just waiting for him to give into relief.

“Um… Do you think you can make it?” Keith asks, awkward. “We can go to my house instead if you want. It’s a little bit closer. Or I can pull over, if you need me to.”

Pull over! Lance’s brain screams, alarm bells ringing all around his head. “We should go- mmh, we should go to your pl- place,” he stammers as another wave of intense desperation overtakes him. “Please,” he adds as an afterthought, barely conscious of himself anymore.

“Sure,” Keith agrees, and speeds up just a little bit. He seems to be keeping his eyes on the road, which Lance is immensely grateful for, considering the fact that he couldn’t stop squirming now that he’s started even if his life depended on it. His whole body feels flushed and hot, and the wet fabric of his underwear keeps sliding against the head of his dick, teasing him with what he can’t have. He feels another leak run down to the tip of his shaft and whimpers pathetically, mouth dropping open into a gasp as he cuts it off just in time.

“You sure you’re, uh, gonna be okay?” Keith asks again, then coughs awkwardly. “I don’t mind pulling over if you-”

“I’ll make it,” Lance pants, then lets out a particularly embarrassing moan. The surges of desperation are coming faster to him now, giving him less time to recover before the next one hits him. It’s pure torture. He’s positive that he’s never had to pee this badly in his entire life, fifth grade video gaming session be damned. He’s sweaty, his muscles are sore, and he keeps making the most incriminating noises, like a cross between a wounded animal and a porn star.

He bucks his hips forward into his hands, practically grinding against his own palms as he searches for relief in any form. He’s at the stage of pure, utter agony where nothing seems like it helps anymore, and yet he knows for sure that if he lets go of his crotch he’ll lose it all right then and there. Switching back and forth between hunching over in his seat and arching his back so far that his ass lifts off the seat, he takes his lip between his teeth again to keep himself from moaning and whimpering. It doesn’t work in the slightest, but the pain from his teeth sinking into his skin is a welcome change from the pain in his bladder.

“C-Can you, ahh, mh, can you h-hurry?” he pleads, tilting his head back and staring at the roof of the car as hot breaths escape past his lips. He swears he needs to piss so bad he can almost taste it, which is disgusting, but it really is what he feels like right now.

“I’m trying,” Keith tells him, and speeds up once again. Lance thanks the gods in heaven that they haven’t run into traffic--he doesn’t know if he can make it another five minutes, let alone however long being stuck on the road would take them.

Scratch that, he realizes as another spurt of hot piss escapes him. He’s not sure he can last another sixty seconds, let alone five minutes. He keens into the air, double-crossing his legs and shifting from side to side as fast as possible, cursing the way the band of his jeans is digging into his poor, overfilled bladder. Torture, indeed.

“We’re almost there,” Keith promises over Lance’s breathy pants and whines. “Just hold on a minute longer.”

I’m doing my best! Lance thinks to himself as another squirt of pee threatens to escape. He can feel a wet patch soaking into the outside fabric of his jeans now, and the warm, wet sensation makes him groan out loud. God, this is so embarrassing, this whole thing is so embarrassing, but he truly can’t help it at this point.

“Hang on, hang on,” he whispers to himself, closing his eyes tight. His hands are shaking now--his whole body is shaking, but he’s almost there, so close to relief, and he absolutely cannot give up now that he’s made it this far.

The car turns suddenly, and then Keith is tapping him on the shoulder, and he’s opening his eyes to see a familiar looking house in front of him. “I’ll go unlock the door,” Keith says, and Lance could almost cry from relief, but he’s not there yet. Shakily, he removes one hand, and immediately a jet of piss soaks through his jeans and into his palm. God, it feels so good to let go but he can’t, not yet, and he could almost cry from how much he needs to go. In fact, a few tears are stinging his eyes right now, but he couldn’t care less at this point.

With a moan, he reaches for the car door and opens it, then lifts one shaking leg and places it on the ground. So far, so good. He follows his first foot with the other, and then uses the last of his remaining strength to pull himself out of the car, and-

The longest jet of pee yet escapes him, spurting hot against his leg and dripping down to his mid thigh. He lets out an absolutely wrecked, desperate moan and stumbles towards the door, where Keith is still fumbling with a ring of keys that has yet to unlock the house.

“K-Keith,” Lance pants, clutching himself tight and staggering onto the front porch. “Keith, hurry! I’m- aahh, Keith, help!”

“Just hold it a second longer!” Keith tells him in a panic, but Lance can’t. He’s been holding it for far too long already, and his poor bladder is tired and his muscles are weak and he just can’t anymore. With one final push of energy, he rips his hands away from his crotch, jams his legs against each other and tears at the button of his jeans, unhooking it on the second try and reaching for his fly zipper as a steady leak starts to make its way down his leg once again. He tears down his zipper and turns to the side, shoving his underwear aside and fishing his dick out, pointing it towards the little patch of grass and flowers on the side and finally letting go.

His mind goes blank from the pure, unadulterated relief of the moment, eyes fluttering shut and legs going to jelly as he at last lets himself relax and empty his bladder. He feels like he could collapse at any minute, staggering a step backwards and accidentally splashing some piss on the concrete porch before he has a chance to re-aim. He can hear the embarrassingly loud splashing against the stone surface, but it’s not enough to bring him back to the moment. He lets out a long, blissful sigh, too caught up in his continuous relief to really be aware of it.

The feeling of emptying his bladder after all this time is nothing short of the best thing he’s ever felt, almost (but not quite) making up for the two and a half hours of agony he’d had to go through to get here. So close to a bathroom, and yet it had still been too far for him to make it. And even through his empty-minded, pleasure-enduced haze, he suddenly realizes what it is he’s doing.

He’s pissing into a patch of grass in front of his crush’s house. In front of his crush. With absolutely no way to stop now that he’s started, and with pretty much nothing to hide himself from Keith, who’s probably shocked and disgusted with him right now. And with that thought in mind, after almost a full minute of going full force, he forces his eyes open and almost against his will meets Keith’s gaze.

Keith is staring at him, wide-eyed, a dark pink blush spread across his cheeks. He’s definitely shocked, yes, but he almost seems embarrassed rather than disgusted. His eyes keep flitting away from Lance’s and then back, unsure of what to focus on. Lance feels his own face heat up as his stream tapers off, losing force and dripping a few more droplets onto the stone porch before he’s finally empty.

The two of them stand there in silence for almost thirty seconds, although it feels like a small eternity to Lance. He tucks himself away, then stands there opening and closing his mouth uselessly, like a fish out of water. “Keith, I-” he starts, but nothing else will come out. He’s empty in more ways than one, apparently.

“Lance…” Keith says, eyes darting down to the puddle between Lance’s legs before flying back up to his face, cheeks reddening even further.

“I��m so sorry,” Lance blurts, reaching up to clap his hand against his mouth but aborting the movement as soon as he realizes his hands are wet and sticky with pee. Ew.

“No, it’s-,” Keith stammers, shaking his head. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

“But I just… You know. In front of you.”

“You-” Keith says, shaking his head again, more firmly this time. “You couldn’t help it, okay? So don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re not… uncomfortable anymore.”

“You’re not angry?” Lance asks, hesitant.

“Angry? Of course not.” Keith frowns. “It’s not your fault, Lance. You really couldn’t wait, and that’s fine. I should have realized what was going on sooner. I just thought you weren’t having a good time on the date.”

“What? Of course I was having a good time on the- What?!”

Lance cuts himself off again, recoiling in surprise. Surely he can’t have heard that right, right? Surely Keith hadn’t just called it a date after watching him practically piss himself less than five feet in front of the front door.

“I thought you didn’t want to go out with me, after all,” Keith admits, shuffling his feet on the ground awkwardly. “So I’m actually kind of glad that you had to pee.”

Lance can’t help it. He bursts out laughing, hand hovering in front of his mouth as he leans against the side of the house. His stomach hurts from the holding combined with his laughter, but he doesn’t even care anymore. Only Keith could turn such an awkward situation into a heartfelt confession. (Well, as heartfelt as Keith can be, the socially awkward dummy.)

“What?” Keith asks, confusion rising in his voice. “Why are you laughing?”

“Because,” Lance says, straightening up and not even bothering to wipe the huge smile off his face. “I had a really good time. And if you’re really not grossed out by everything that just happened-”

“I’m not,” Keith insists, but Lance holds up a hand to stop him before he can protest further.

“If you’re not, then I’d really like to try this whole date thing again,” he finishes, tilting his head to the side and looking at Keith fondly.

“You really want to?” Keith asks hesitantly, looking up at Lance.

“Of course,” Lance says, smiling even bigger. “And next time, I’ll make sure to go to the bathroom after the movie.”

#op #omorashi #male omorashi #male desperation #voltron omorashi #klance omorashi #vol/tron #fanfic #omorashi fanfic #commissions

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multimetaverse · 5 years ago

Text

Andi Mack 3x14 & 3x15 Reviews

Hammer Time and Unloading Zone were two good eps that were somewhat marred by filler. Let’s dig in!

Positives:

It’s good to teach kids early that there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism.

I’ll give them credit for not bearding TJ and for having him explicitly say that that he and Kira are not together. Also really drove home how petty and manipulative Kira is.

The Tyrus scenes were brief but not as angsty as I thought. It’s very clear they’re pushing the bounds of subtext and showing that Cyrus has a crush on TJ and wants to make that known but of course we can’t start moving into text until after the cut episode. I think this is the ep that probably clues in the casual audience that Cyrus does in fact like TJ as more than a friend though knowledge that they’re being set up to be a couple won’t come until Something to Talk A-Boot (unless they happen to see the promo with the Bench scene).

They’ve clearly set up Buffy as Cyrus’ crush confidante, making sure all talk of TJ is kept away from Andi and Jonah which is sad but unsurprising. It wouldn’t shock me if Andi and Jonah don’t explicitly know about Cyrus’ crush until after the bench scene itself. Great to see Buffy being so encouraging although she can’t explicitly say anything yet.

I wonder if that whole ‘’brings out his eyes’’ bit will come back during or after the bench scene. TJ is wearing a green shirt at the party that would bring out his eyes. Maybe that will be a Disney approved gay version of the typical straight guy calling his love interest pretty.

Those were some great Muffy scenes. I know there were some worries on tumblr about their chemistry after 3x13 but those should be put to rest now I think.

Extremely easy to see the Muffy arc ending in a kiss in the finale.

Bringing Garren back was a very wise decision on the writers part. That ‘’ I want to cross the finish line’’ with you line was a great little nod to them being endgame. And that piggyback ride Marty gave Buffy was sweet.

Really good subtle message sent by the camp out that it should be totally normal for a straight guy to have sleepovers with his gay friend.

Andi’s line about Jonah maybe not being capable of more emotional connection than his usual 6 emojis is damning but I also wonder if it’s set up for him to subvert that when he sings You Girl.

A sad reminder about Amber’s awful home life. It’s clear she’s seeking the love and attention she’s not getting at home from her parents but Jonah is really not the solution.

In 3x15 we get some foreshadowing for Buffy’s later foot injury

Nice to see Jonah participating in the protest and I always enjoy when they lean into Jonah being kind of dumb.

We still managed to get an Alpaca cameo after all. Also confirms that the original 3x18 at Snuck Farm was indeed planned as the original wedding.

The don’t hurt yourself lines Cyrus and Jonah had were very funny.

Cyrus referenced the Tunguska event most likely

Lauren Tom knocked it out of the park with her emotional scenes in both eps. i wish we had seen more of this Celia in S3 instead of wacky grandma

Liked Officer Penn’s Clint Eastwood impression. And interesting that they used a white male cop as a bad guy.

Celia’s snow globe was a lovely gift. According to Disney PR, it was inspired by Terri’s snow globe collection and Lilan and Trent didn’t know what was inside the box until they opened it.

Liked the Game of Thrones reference (at least the Andi Mack finale can’t be worse than that show’s)

Loved the music in the cold open, it was the same they used for scene transitions in 3x07.

I try not to pass judgment on the show because the whole Ham situation is so awful and unprecedented but that convo about him going to India really skated close to dark humour especially when Celia said ‘’don’t worry you’ll see him again’’.

Negatives:

Notice how they kept Kira making TJ feel bad about his crush out of the previously on and instead focused on her disliking Cyrus because he’s Buffy’s friend. I do think Kira gets called out for that by TJ during the finale but it’s clear for now that they’re trying to pass this off as her hating Buffy and liking TJ and wanting him for herself.

They had Luke and Raquel for a day but filmed quite a bit less than their typical maximum. TJ himself only got 2:45 minutes of screentime, including being in the background, which is a little less than his usual 3 minutes.

Which isn’t a surprise, TJ’s screen time operates by a different math than other recurring characters. It’s the same pattern in both S2 and S3, he can be in 9 aired eps max and only 3 eps after the 13th ep of the season. Luckily in S3 Disney only ordered 21 eps so instead of only 3 TJ eps spread out over 12 eps we got 3 spread out over 8 until the FBI knocked that down to 7.

It’s not a question of budget, they had a much higher per ep budget in S3, nor was it scheduling since Luke had no other projects and they were able to work around Garren’s GH filming schedule right through the finale and re-shoots nor was there a 9 ep limit on recurring characters as Emily was in 11 of the original 21 this season.

Not to mention they’ve been drastically cutting TJ’s screentime with Cyrus. Luckily they do probably have to give him a bit more than 3 minutes in Something to Talk A-Boot and hopefully gets more than 3 in the finale.

The Cyrus and Jonah plot was sweet but pure filler. I never expected Cyrus to talk to Jonah about his feelings or anything related to his sexuality but was there nothing else they could even briefly touch on? Jonah’s anxiety? Cyrus’ anxiety? Jonah’s family problems? It’s not like Terri didn’t know the show was going to end just 7 eps later in otl so why waste this time? It’s most likely the last significant solo time those two have and they should have used it more wisely.

Vivian turned out to be completely useless. Seems like they cut some of her lines but I really don’t get her purpose.

The clothing protest was rushed and the ending was very unsatisfying. It hurt the plot that we never actually saw anyone connected to the company.

Celia and Bex didn’t really patch up either and I’m guessing things weren’t truly fixed until Bex agreed to put the wedding back on in 3x17 in otl.

Amber is in love with Jonah? This is what they’re dedicating so much screen time to in these final eps?

They really ruined the swings for nothing. At least we get nice scenes in Something to Talk A-Boot and the finale

Kira really is something. She’s trying to get a a guy she knows is gay to date her which is insane

I was expecting there to be very little in this final TJ ep before the original wedding in part because of Terri’s instagram post back in November right after Josh revealed the endgame had changed and right before they shot the original 3x18 where she screenshotted a tweet that said Andi Mack fans should stop accusing the show of queer baiting or blaming Disney censorship in regards to Cyrus’ story line. Writers let their work speak for them and that Terri posted that was a sign that the criticism hit to close to home.

The show is not queer baiting and 3x11 was an all time great but to pretend there hasn’t been long running censorship from Disney is a straight up lie and excluding 3x11 there’s really been very little. I’m sure she had planned for the bench scene for a while but she couldn’t have known that she’d get it approved until it was time to write the finale. Disney seemed committed to some sort of Tyrus endgame but it very easily could have been just them standing together smiling at the end in which case this whole mess of a plot would have been for nothing. She was reckless but got very lucky that Disney didn’t screw her over. I hope whoever ends up making the next Disney show with a gay story line will know not to bite off more than they can chew.

Looking Ahead:

Things are in some ways simpler and in some ways messier for Tyrus. TJ seems to have accepted Kira as a friend but is refusing to use her as a beard and still wants to hang with Cyrus. Cyrus thinks TJ is straight but has seemingly forgiven him for costume day so that conflict is swept under the rug. Either Kira does a complete 180 off screen and apologizes in her 45 seconds of speaking time in the finale or she’s just there so Cyrus can be sad and TJ tells her off and then goes to speak to Cyrus without her getting any real development or redemption. Either way it’s going to be wild going from closeted TJ to TJ having a boyfriend and being out to at least several people all in like 3-4 minutes of screentime.

She really is only looking at something like 30-45 seconds of speaking time in the finale and not all that much more of background time if she’s lucky as Raquel was only on set for one day and it was the same day all the other main and recurring kids were also filming and she was only 14 at the time which means she can be on set a little less than most of the other kids. And her insta story shows that it was just her and Luke in the school room and after she finished class she was just hanging on set until they wrapped for the day.

If she’s not getting a redemption arc than most likely they’ll follow up with what Buffy said and she’ll say something mean about Cyrus that will cause TJ to drop his willful blindness and tell her off or she gets tired of waiting and tries to demand that TJ dates her and he tells her off. Either way Cyrus would likely see them and mistake it for them having a moment.

This does mean that TJ doesn’t need to redeem himself so much in Something to Talk A-Boot at the theatre or the game. That TJ is even at those events and hanging with Cyrus over at least two days in universe means he’s either not hanging with Kira or he still is but is less vulnerable to her manipulation.

So the prop garbage was for community service after all. Wild

They really went there with the stereotypes about Asian people. I think great things can come of this plot and I’m excited to see Andi’s art plot line take off.

Now we know why Jonah says ‘’why can’t it just be fun? Why does it have to be love?’’ There’s almost no chance this Amber in love with Jonah story won’t be a trainwreck but hopefully it’s an entertaining one. I really don’t know if there’s anything they can do for Amber’s home life. Her parents divorcing would probably help in the long term but it would be a very depressing ending to her arc.

Really does seem to be no set up for Jandi but we’ll see how long they can keep their lead girl completely romance free. Lilan and Asher have both talked about Jonah and Andi being settled and Disney has been hyping up Jandi moments and of course Jonah sings You Girl so something is going to happen. With the new promos suggesting Andi might be moving away in the finale, probably for her art, I wonder if they have an ending where they’re not officially together but they know they like each other and that the universe will always guide them back to one another or some hippy crap like that.

Presumably Bowie still wants to get married. Wonder how they’ll get the wedding back on track without Ham’s help.

Mack chat kids hate Kira but no mention of Tyrus which is no surprise. On the plus side this means we get Luke guest starring for either Something to Talk A-Boot or the finale and it seems that Josh was a finale guest so they will have to talk about Tyrus even if only briefly.

I’ll talk more about the new promos tomorrow but I’m so glad that they’re teasing the bench scene.

Only 5 more weeks left!

#Andi Mack #Tyrus #TJ Kippen #Cyrus Goodman #Muffy #Buffy Driscoll #Marty from the party #Jonah Beck #amber #Jamber #Bexie #Bex Mack #Bowie Quinn #Celia Mack #Kira #Andi Mack Reviews #Andi Mack Meta #Andi Mack Season 3

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starkravinghazelnoots · 5 years ago

Note

Orange or yellow and Peter or Tony for the drabble thing! (rly predictable ik sorry!)

ORANGE

Energy, balance, warmth, enthusiasm, vitality, expansion, flamboyancy, and autumn.

This turned into way longer than a drabble. I couldn't resist the pull of writing some Biderman in honor of Pride. I had a ton of fun writing this, so I hope this lives up your expectations and that all of you enjoy!

I apologize in advance if the line break doesn't work. Tumblr really hates when I try to use line breaks.

xXx

How to be Proud

Peter was pretty confident in himself. What's more, he had an extremely supportive family and group of friends, some of whom understood what he was going through better than others.

But that didn't mean it was always easy to be proud of himself. It wasn't for Peter, at least.

But Spider-Man? He didn't have that problem.

"Don't fucking touch me, homo!"

Peter rolled his eyes behind the mask as he shot a web over the criminal's mouth. "Trust me, buddy, I'm not gonna touch someone as nasty as you." He gestured to the purple, pink, and blue cape tied around his neck. "And for the record, Mr. Homophobe, I'm bisexual. If you're going to insult me, at least get it right."

Peter called the police to report the location of the tied-up criminal before swinging away. His curfew was in ten minutes, which meant he had to hurry if he wanted to make it back to his apartment on time.

He dove through his window right as the clock on his dresser changed to midnight - on Fridays he was allowed that extra hour, but he did have a tendency to push it.

"How was patrol?" May asked. She was leaning against the door frame of his room. She must have just gotten back from her shift at the hospital, because she was still in her scrubs.

"Pretty good!" Peter said, standing up. The Iron Spider mask disappeared from his face. "Stopped a bank robbery and some petty theft. I also rescued Mrs. Post's cat again. He keeps escaping and climbing up the tree next to her house." Peter snickered. "It's still so funny to me that she named her cat Jeff."

May smiled at his amusement. "Well, I'm sure she was very grateful."

He laughed. "Yeah. She always tries to give me cookies or some other kind of sweet before I leave." Peter snapped his fingers, remembering the last thing he did before returning home. "Oh, I also stopped a kid from being beat up. I don't know who he was, because he ran away when I swung down into the alley, but I took care of his attacker." He untied the flag from his neck and hung it over the chair in front of his desk. "He was a nasty guy, too. Homophobic. Smelled like hot garbage."

May chuckled. "Well, it's a good thing you were there to take care of him." She gestured to his bisexual flag. "Get any compliments on that?"

Peter beamed at her. "Yes! It was so great. A girl actually burst into tears when she saw me because she was so happy her favorite superhero was bisexual, too."

May held her arms out, and he eagerly accepted her hug. "I'm so proud of you, Peter."

Peter smiled. "Thank you, May." His voice was muffled by her shirt. "I love you."

May pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Well, I love you more."

"I love you most."

"Then I love you more than the most!"

Peter laughed. "You're the worst."

"Oh, I know."

xXx

MJ slid into the chair in front of Peter, startling him out of a daydream that definitely had not involved the aforementioned girl. "We're still on for Pride tomorrow, right?"

"I am," Ned said excitedly. "I can't wait!"

Peter nodded, taking a sip from the cup of coffee in front of him. He loved this little café. "Yep. It's gonna be so cool to go with both of you." He'd been looking forward to Pride all week. It would be his first time going as openly bi, and he wasn't sure whether he was excited or terrified.

MJ smiled. "Nice. Because I had a little idea that I thought the two of you might be interested in."

Peter glanced at Ned, who shrugged. "Alright," he said, turning back to MJ. "What's your idea?"

She smirked. "There is a third person I propose we bring to Pride. But I wanted your approval before I invited him."

"Sure. Who is it?"

MJ's grin widened. "Spider-Man."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "You want to invite Spider-Man?" It was always weird having to refer to himself in the third person. "Why?"

MJ shrugged. "He's an out and proud bisexual superhero. I think a lot of people, especially the teens at Pride, could use that kind of confidence boost."

Peter felt the blood rush to his cheeks, simultaneously embarrassed and flattered. "Oh. Okay."

"Do you have a specific thing you want Spider-Man to do at Pride?" Ned asked.

"I'm glad you brought that up." MJ pulled her sketchbook seemingly out of nowhere and placed it on Peter's desk. "I drew some concept art for what I think Spider-Man should wear."

Peter looked at her sketch. "Don't you think that's a bit flamboyant for a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?"

MJ shrugged. "So what? Sure, Spider-Man is pretty down-to-earth. But if he was going to be flamboyant, wouldn't Pride be the perfect time for him to do it?"

Confidence surged through Peter's veins. "Yeah. You're right."

MJ rolled her eyes, smirking. "Of course I am."

xXx

Tony stared down in disbelief at the picture in his hands. "Parker, you want me to do what to the Iron Spider suit?"

Peter beamed at him. "Just follow the picture. You're the best Mr. Stark! Okay bye now."

Tony sighed as his intern dashed out of the building. "That kid is going to be the death of me."

xXx

"How's the suit?" MJ asked, popping her gum.

Peter smirked, gesturing to the watch on his wrist. "It's ready whenever. And can I say that it looks cool as hell?"

"Of course it does. I designed it."

"I can't wait," Ned added. "You're gonna look so badass, Peter."

Peter laughed. "Well, I don't know about that."

Pride was in full swing around them. Both Peter and MJ had bisexual flags painted on their cheeks, and Ned had a classic rainbow. Peter also had his bisexual flag tied around his neck, and MJ had an ace flag tied in the same way. Ned had turned down wearing a flag as a cape, instead choosing to wear a long-sleeved black shirt with rainbow patches running down the arms.

Time flew by. The trio marched for over an hour, maybe two, before breaking off to go to a drag queen comedy performance, then went to lunch together.

"So there's a concert in about thirty minutes," MJ said as they were leaving the restaurant. "Want to go to that?"

Peter shrugged. "I'm down with whatever."

"As long as it doesn't last too late in the afternoon," Ned pointed out. "Spider-Man is planned for what - 4ish?"

Peter laughed. "Don't worry, Ned. I'm watching the clock." His heart was racing, and he wasn't sure if that was from nerves or from excitement - either way, he couldn't wait.

The concert itself was decent. Peter thought he might have enjoyed it better had he actually known who the band was. Not to mention he was distracted, glancing at his watch so often he couldn't truthfully say he was paying attention. He a made a mental note to look into more of the band's albums later.

"Hey, Peter," MJ said, smirking at him. "It's 4 o'clock."

Peter rolled his eyes. "You guys are really living for this, aren't you?"

"Duh," Ned said, beaming. "Do it, dude!"

Peter laughed. "Alright, alright." He ducked into an empty alleyway - how fitting that the concert had been so close to one. Apparently the universe was rooting for Spider-Man to show some pride.

After making sure no one was around him, Peter crouched behind a dumpster and tapped at his watch. Within seconds the Iron Spider suit rolled out and covered him. He blinked for a moment to adjust to his sharper vision.

Peter then shot a few webs at the side of the building in front of him, getting a running start before swinging up onto the top of it.

He looked down at the crowd below him. The bright colors of a hundred LGBT+ flags filled him with elation and immense confidence. He'd never be able to replicate that feeling.

Peter shot a web at a pole near the crowd, swinging down and around so that he landed on top of it.

"Hey! New York Pride!" he shouted. His suit magnified his voice. A quick glance at his arm revealed that the suit was doing exactly what it was supposed to do - shift through the colors of as many pride flags as possible. "Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man is here to remind you that you should never be ashamed of who you are! You are all amazing, beautiful, inspiring people. If it weren't for you guys, then I'd never have been able to feel comfortable expressing myself." As if on cue, the wind picked up, causing his bisexual cape to flutter behind him. "I'm able to be who I am because of this city. Thank you, New York!"

The crowd started cheering, and Peter swung down into the middle of it, managing to hold short conversations with various people before being whisked off to talk with someone else.

He ended up in front of a young boy who had the trans flag painted on both of his cheeks and a pan flag tied around his neck.

"H-Hi," the boy stammered. "I love you, Spider-Man! You're my favorite hero!"

Peter smiled at the kid. He looked to be maybe around 13 or 14. "I'm flattered. Have you been having fun today?"

The kid didn't answer, instead staring intensely at Peter. Finally he blurted out, "Thank you for saving me!"

Peter blinked. "Saving you?"

The boy nodded. "Y-Yes! A few nights ago, my stepfather, he - he kicked me out of the house, and he followed me away, and he... He started hitting me, but then - then you showed up and you saved me!"

Peter was thankful his mask hid his shocked expression. He remembered that encounter all too well. "That was you?"

"Yes. And I live with my aunt now so everything is okay but I just - I just wanted to say thank you."

Peter almost asked why the boy's stepfather had kicked him out, but given that the trans flags on his cheeks were streaked with tears... That told Peter everything he needed to know.

"Hey," Peter said, placing his hands on the kid's shoulders. "I want you to know that you should always be proud of who you are, okay? No matter what anyone tries to tell you, your identity is beautiful." He winked at the boy. "Remember, Spider-Man will always be on your side."

It was no coincidence, Peter figured, that at that moment his suit shifted from the colors of the trans flag to the pan one.

He said goodbye to the boy before swinging up and out of the crowd, high fiving people as he went.

Pride.

It was a funny word, really.

Pride meant a mixture of confidence in oneself and trust in others.

And in that moment, Peter had never been prouder.

xXx

Mr. Stark: quite a stunt you pulled at NY pride today, Mr. Parker

Peter: lol sorry i didn't tell you that was what the suit was for

Mr. Stark: first of all, it was so obvious that was what the suit was for. second, why didn't you tell me? did you think I'd disapprove? kid you know I've been out since the 90s

Peter: I was worried you might think it was too flamboyant for a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man

Mr. Stark: there's no such thing as being too flamboyant. I made a few modifications to my own armor for a trip I myself plan on making to pride tomorrow

Peter: what?! without me, Mr. Stark? how could you

Mr. Stark: Pete. I never said you couldn't go with me

Peter: so I'm invited?!

Mr. Stark: whatever you want, kid

Peter: yesssss tomorrow is gonna be awesome

Mr. Stark: uh huh. Sure.

Peter: :D

Mr. Stark: hey, kid?

Peter: yeah?

Mr. Stark: I'm proud of you. You know that, right?

A single tear fell onto the screen of Peter's phone. Maybe of happiness. Maybe of thanks. Maybe even just of sentiment.

Peter: thank you, sir.

Mr. Stark: but don't get used to the compliments

Mr. Stark: i have a reputation to maintain

Peter: sure, Mr. Stark. sure

Peter put his phone on his dresser, falling backwards onto his bed. The day had been perfect. Even if he had chickened out yet again in confessing his feelings to MJ. But that was okay.

At least he'd made Mr. Stark proud.

Huh.

Peter chuckled to himself.

Maybe he should pull flamboyant stunts more often.

xXx

Thank you for requesting this! Other drabbles probably (for my sake lol) will not be this long. If anyone else wants to send a request, please feel free to do so. Again, thank you for reading!

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