#Goodnight Moon (offline)

[lostjulys]

!!!!!!!!

[biwindblade]

| i’m still holding on, neon

→ KANERA WEEK 2021 DAY ONE, PROMPT: TROUBLE

pairing: kanan jarrus/hera syndulla

words: 3.4k

rating: t, for swearing and mentions of alcohol

summary: after nine long years, padawan caleb dume kanan jarrus is met with a friend from his past at the jedi temple, fellow (almost) padawan hera syndulla.

(shoutout to @kananjarrus-jediknight who helped let this au get way out of hand with me)

The neon light from the sign of Old Jho’s blinks unsteady, or maybe it doesn’t – Kanan’s head is still feeling pretty swayed. It was definitely the last drink he had – that had to be it, definitely not the long assortment of liquors that came before that one. That guy was just too pretty and his skin was so blue and his eyes were so–

His hand grabs at the outside wall of the bar, steadying himself and barely preventing him from crashing head over heels into the dusty Lothal street. He takes in a shaky breath, the fresh air would clear him up, get him ready to go back in. If the ground could just stop moving then maybe–

“Excuse me–”

And, with those two words alone, it’s like something wakes him up, the fog on his mind lifts, the heaviness in his eyes is gone – The kind of clarity, the instantaneous kind that only ever came from the Force.

And that voice, he knows that voice. He does. It’s different, but…

He turns to it.

This time he’s sure the Lothal moons above are shining within his chest.

It’s her.

“Caleb?” She says, the name dropping from her lips before she has the chance to compose herself. Her lekku go rigid.

He hadn’t heard anyone speak that name in nine years. In fact, he’d come to terms with the fact that he never would hear it again.

The look in those green eyes of hers only say one thing, the same thing that slips from his own mouth,

“You’re alive?”

She doesn’t quite nod but her eyebrows knit closer together in fondness. She’s seeing a ghost. Looking at him, but through him too.

He goes to take a step towards her and suddenly all the blood rushes to his head and the alcohol finally catches up to him. She dives to attempt an intercept before he crashes head first into the ground. She misses him by a second.

“Oh shit,” She mutters under her breath. You could’ve caught him with the F–

Thank goodness the sound of the bar muffles any of the noise they’ve just made. The dust she kicked up finally settles.

They, she thinks. But she nips it in the bud before she thinks too much more about it. Right now she needed to wipe off the stray dirt and was that - yup. A bar nut shell that had stuck to his shoe. Yup, that was Caleb Dume. Clearly they had a lot of catching up to do. It was taking everything in her not to just skim the top of his consciousness. It was funny, in the Force he felt the same.

He was dead to the world. She would definitely need to check his head when they made it back to her ship. Chopper wasn’t going to let her hear the end of it either but then again, she had told him before about the little boy who tried too hard to be her friend back at the Temple. It’s not like she had a lot of other people to talk to.

Geez, he wasn’t very easy to maneuver when he was deadweight. She does eventually manage to get him slung around her shoulder, his boots scratching against the scattered road on their path back to her pride and joy. The Ghost.

She was just hoping Caleb was still as eager to joke with her, because she wasn’t going to let him live down the fact that she had just carried him back to her ship because he was too plastered to do so himself.

Something in her did whisper that she had more of an influence in him passing out than anything else. She squashes the thought down as quickly as it came up, however.

She could still hear them teasing one another in the back of her brain. She catches a quick glance at his face, his facial features are more defined now, the bridge of his name is the same and his facial hair was surprisingly well kept. His eyelashes are still ridiculously long, for a male of any species.

His brows furrow momentarily and she looks away within an instant, he doesn’t wake though. Only stirring, but the good news was that the Ghost was now in view.

She fiddles in her pocket with her free hand to grab her commlink. She was really hoping he wouldn’t wake up, because even thinking about explaining the current situation was hurting her brain. Doing that when he was laying down in her ship’s medbay sounded a lot more manageable.

She presses the commlink, and in just a bit more than a whisper, “Chop, I’m back. Can you drop the ramp for me?”

She holds her breath, hoping to not be met with her droid’s usual attitude or for Caleb to wake.

The droid’s reply crackles over the comm and the ramp lowers.

“Come on,” She whispers to her friend, as she helps them both onto the ship. Grateful in that moment that she found a spot to dock that wasn’t too far out of the city. And it wasn’t like someone being drunkenly carried out of a cantina wasn’t a usual sight these days. Everyone had to deal with the Empire one way or another. It was just a stroke of luck there wasn’t a big Imperial presence around this part of the city tonight.

It’s more than luck, Hera. You know that.

As the ramp closes in behind her, her droid wheels into the room. Asking her colourfully worded questions in binary.

“This,” She replies, beelining for the medbay. “Would be my old friend.”

He stinks like behind a bar, her droid replies.

“Oh really?” Hera says, glaring at her droid. “I hadn’t noticed!”

She kicks off her boots, with Caleb still resting on her, she was really starting to ache from doing that.

“Maybe you could help me get him out of this room. So he can wake up without passing out on me this time!”

Chopper grumbles something, but obliges. She knew he was only annoyed because he could tell she hadn’t done what she set out to do this evening. But knowing he was alive kind of intercepted her plans. Besides, there was always tomorrow and maybe, just maybe Caleb would tag along and help her. Maybe.

She wasn’t about to go and get ahead of herself, but gosh that creeping hopeful feeling in her chest wasn’t any kind of help. She had to be more realistic. The world around her had taught her that all too quickly.

By the time she gets him to the medbay, he practically flops out of her arms and onto the bed, face down again. She lets out a sigh before rolling him over. Chopper complains something about him dirting the floor and shoves his legs up onto the bed properly. Definitely far rougher than Hera would've been. She really shouldn’t be surprised by that anymore, and after all, this was the first person she’d ever brought on the ship. There was always going to be some animosity.

She blinks herself back to the current moment only to realise her hand is still resting on Caleb’s arm. Her droid chirps at her accusingly.

“Chop, wait here,” She says, running a hand over the top of her droid’s head before running from the room. Clearly acting on an idea she had yet to share.

She returns with one of the spare blankets from the storage hold. And one of her mugs from the ship’s kitchen area.

You’re letting him stay here? Her droid asks her in an accusatory tone.

“He passed out, Chop!” She says, in something of a whisper-yell. “I couldn’t just leave him there. Besides, it’s not like anyone came out looking for him! I just wanted to,” She doesn’t really know where she was going with this.

She places the blanket over him, she places the blanket over him. “I just wanted to make sure he was okay.”

Right.

She huffs, before getting out the painkillers that she knew he was going to need when he woke up. Hera hadn’t been drunk many times and certainly never as much as Caleb was right now, but the fact that he was going to be met with both a hangover and his long-lost and most likely presumed dead best friend, well, it didn’t hurt to tread on the side of caution.

She fills the mug with water and leaves it next to him. And props herself up on the counter, it was late but she felt too awake.

The sight of him made her heart sit firmly in her throat. It brought back all of these memories and feelings she thought she had laid to rest a long time ago. Of inside jokes, of teachers long gone and stories told in a hush between their fellow younglings, of an ache so strong that it felt like nothing in the world would ever make it go away.

Or maybe, it just felt long enough ago now that it was easier to distract herself from.

Either way, it was a lot.

You going to sleep anytime soon? Her droid asks.

She laughs, “Eventually.”

She runs a hand over her face, before sighing into it. That was a lie and Chopper knew it as well as she did.

“You can power down for the night if you want. I’ll be okay.”

She crosses her feet together, bouncing them against the cupboards she’s sitting on.

Chopper makes a sound like a sigh and reluctantly he beeps out a goodnight. To be honest, she was expecting more resistance from him but today had been interesting for both of them.

With her droid offline for the evening, well, probably morning now. She still wasn’t quite adjusted to Lothal time. Which would make tomorrow even more exciting if she was going to get hyperlag.

Well, if she wasn’t going to sleep she might as well get something productive done. Read more into the intel she’d been given. She presses off the counter and makes her way back into the kitchen. Right now, it was time for caf.

There’s something restless in her as she waits for it to heat up. She didn’t feel right not waiting in the room, this was going to be worse if Caleb woke up and she wasn’t there. Standing still wasn’t doing anything for her nerves, which usually weren’t a problem.

She was supposed to be more in control with this kind of thing. She closes her eyes and draws into the Force, deliberately drawing in a deep breath.

Calm down, Hera.

New distraction, change into more comfortable clothes. As she does, she feels all too aware of the drawer near her bed where she kept her lightsaber. She hadn’t touched it in years but for the first time in a while she doesn’t tune out the singing the crystal makes.

Once she pulls her shirt over her head and over her lekku, the caf blips a sound in the air that it's done and by the time she’s changed it’s been just long enough that her drink was going to be the perfect temperature. She smiles to herself before cradling the mug in her hands.

With Chopper powered down for the night and not trundling behind her, it was really quiet on this big ship.

The door to the medbay slides open and sure enough, Caleb is still sleeping. His head resting against his shoulder, the blanket still covering him. He must have moved a lot in his sleep because his hair is now loose around his face.

He looks peaceful.

But, just to be sure, she hops back up on the counter so she has a good view of him. Just in case, she tells herself.

She aimlessly scrolls through the Holonet catching up on the news of the day. Nothing really of substance, more Imperial presence in the Lothal sector. Which could make things more difficult but if she could make up for the lost time today then she wouldn’t really have to worry about that much.

She takes a sip of her caf, and this time exits out of the Holonet and into the files shared with her and an unopened message from her contact.

The rest of the night passes without much out of the ordinary. She almost falls asleep at one point but the sound of someone sitting up in the bed wakes her back up.

So, Caleb Dume was the kind of drunk that woke up in the early hours of the morning.

“Good morning,” She says, looking up from the datapad.

He blinks hard a couple of times, and yawns. Then he finally focuses on who’s in front of him.

“Hera?”

She nods, a smile on her face. His voice holds far more emotion than just the name he asks. He seems to be taking in the surrounding of the repurposed room turned medbay. It wasn’t like she had the chance to ask him to come back to her ship. But, she wasn’t going to leave him there either. What kind of friend did that?

“Yeah, it’s me,” She answers, voice soft.

He nods to himself, his mind is clouded in the Force. It practically radiates off him.

“So you made it out, too?” He asks, his voice hoarse from the previous night.

She nods a couple times, before crossing her legs up on the counter and setting aside her datapad.

“We don’t have to talk about that right now,” She starts, considering she hadn’t really spoken any of it out loud ever, she didn’t expect him to do the same right now. He also still looked half asleep. “But I do think you should have some water.”

He scoffs, and she motions with her head to the mug she put beside him earlier.

“Thanks,” He says, lifting it in her direction. He downs it all. “So, about last night,”

He rubs a hand into his temple.

“Yeah,” She says in a laugh, looking at the wall beside her. “I’m just surprised you made it up those stairs out of the bar.”

“You’ve been there before?”

“Not exactly, but I did check the building’s layout before leaving last night.”

He raises an eyebrow at her. There was so much else they could be talking about right now, and here they both were discussing a local bar.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, really. I kind of had plans last night, well that was before you passed out on me.”

He cringes, crinkling his nose. Just like back at the temple, like he’d been caught out asking too many questions.

“Sorry about that.”

She jumps down from the counter finally. He seemed open enough, but she didn’t want to push it.

“Look, I’m just happy you didn’t throw up on me.”

That earns a laugh from him.

“Also, I think you should probably have those, Caleb.” She says pointing to the container of tablets next to him.

“Kanan,” He says, correcting her.

“What?”

“My name is Kanan, now.” His voice seems stronger now.

Her mouth drops open, she hadn’t expected that. But then again, it did make sense. She never considered changing her name, it’s not like she’d even been formally made a padawan. Her name was hers alone. It hurt her to know that he no longer thought the same.

“I’m sorry.” Is all she can offer him. As much as she was trying to be composed it was proving to be more difficult than she had accounted for.

That and the more Ca – Kanan – seemed to come to, the grief in the room seemed to be pressing down harder and harder. The turtleneck she changed into feels tighter.

She finally looks at him again, and the sadness in those eyes of his feels like something is tearing in her chest.

“So, you’ve been alone too,” He says before she gets the chance to.

She tips her head to the side, getting a better read on him, just as he was doing the same for her.

“Well, apart from Chopper… yeah. You?”

He takes a beat before answering.

“Yeah,” His blue green eyes are focusing in, “I can’t lie, I’m still not really used to it.”

That was an invitation, Hera. Keep the conversation going, She thinks.

“Neither,” She replies. “It’s hard to forget how occupied life used to be.”

There was the lump in the back of her throat again.

“Hah, you can say that again.”

He looks up from the ground, and meets Hera’s gaze.

“I still can’t believe you’re alive.”

His voice breaks as he says that. I wish I knew you were, all this time, is what is left unsaid in that sentence.

She sucks in her bottom lip.

So, she still did that. For some reason, it offers him a sense of relief.

“I could say the same,” She finally says. The silence in the air was worse than the words they were using to fill it with. She takes a few steps closer to him. “Are you alright to stand?”

“I don’t see why not,”

Either he was lying or talking about the past was doing a good job of sobering him up.

“Follow me,” She says, opening the door to the hallway.

“You don’t want to wake your droid?”

Hera takes a look back at Chopper, remembering how much of a liking he had taken to Kanan earlier.

“Yeah, I think it’s best to leave him out of this for now.”

She hears his feet hit the ground behind her and takes that as time to leave the room, and the fact that he doesn’t hit any of the walls of the ship on their way to the cockpit is also a good sign.

“Nice ship,” He says from behind, she doesn’t need to look at him to know he means it.

“Yeah, she goes alright,” She says, tapping her hand against the entryway to the cockpit and the door slides open in front of them, “After you,”

She motions for him to enter first.

“Wow,” He says, taking in the rising sun on the horizon. Her ship was angled perfectly to capture it.

She takes a moment to really take it in too. This was her first morning on Lothal, the sun seemed brighter too. Logically, she knew it wasn’t but – still.

“So, you live here?” Hera asks.

Kanan takes a stride towards the co-pilot’s chair, and crosses his arms against the top of it, looking over his shoulder as she comes to sit in the pilot’s seat. It was far more comfortable than the bench she’d been sitting on all night and her back thanked her as soon as she sat into it.

“Eh, not really. I got a job a couple of planets over and one thing led to another and blah, blah, blah.”

She nods her head, listening to him. Closing her eyes to really take in the warmth of the sun even through the ship’s viewport.

“You can sit down if you want,” Hera says. She can feel him hovering in the spot he is, unsure whether doing so was crossing a boundary.

“This is comfortable,” He answers. “Thanks for the blanket, by the way.”

She opens her eyes to see he’s readjusted it to wrap over his shoulders like –

“You ever miss wearing them?” He asks, completely out of the blue.

Clearly, she wasn’t the only one sensing the other in the room. Even if that always had been more of her thing. She remembers first trying them on, the arms far too big for her.

“Yeah, I do.”

She looks across at him, and he’s already looking at her.

“Kanan,” She starts.

And, for the first time, hearing that from her in that voice… It was like the name he’d chosen to stay alive finally had meaning. Like his name could mean something.

“I know I said you didn’t have to talk about it, which is true and I truly don’t mind, but I have to tell you.”

Her steels her jaw, pressing her tongue to the top of her mouth to stop the tears. It was her tried and tested method.

“I didn’t think I would ever, ever see you again. And I know you feel the same way, and I know a lot has happened and we’ve both changed and chances are I really don’t know you anymore but–”

She stops herself. This was the most she had opened up to anyone in the longest time.

“But–” She hears him say. “–it feels like this was meant to happen.”

“Exactly.”

She was wrong, and for what felt like the first time, she was happy to be. Her face softens as she starts crying and when she blinks the tears away and looks at him, there’s tears in his eyes too.

They both smile at each other. Basking in all the moment has to offer. Two Jedi, two survivors finding one another.

“This is gonna be trouble, isn’t it?” He says, looking out the dawn on Lothal.

Nothing else needed to be said, Kanan answering the question Hera hadn’t been able to yet speak aloud. They’d made their way back to each other. There was no way anything in the whole galaxy would get in the way of that. They had a lot to catch up on, and it would take time.

But she had this bursting feeling that had they had that one their side.

“When have we not been?”

[smellss]

ocean talks - zuko x reader

gif credit: @tiredwasp

hi all!

sorry for being a bit offline i had some work i had to catch up on the last couple of days but i’m back with a zuko x reader. a little bit short but still hope you enjoy!

- smells x

the stars shone brightly in the sky as aang’s snores drifted over the group his arm was lazily wrapped around katara’s waist, sokka and toph’s bodies were entangled together everyone fast asleep except for y/n.

the group decided that a quick over night getaway would be good for everyone’s mental health, considering how busy everything has been ensuring that the construction of republic city will run smoothly.

so everyone packed up there things for the night and went camping on ember island, just like old times they rode appa there toph complaining saying they should have travelled on land and they all set up camp.

everyone talked about old memories from there travels around the fire laughing but zuko had seemed off to y/n all night 

so when the girl was moving around trying to find her source of body warmth to cuddle with she wasn’t too surprised to find the fire lord wasn’t there

y/n quietly arose from her and zuko’s sleeping mat, trying to not wake her friends from there sleep although failed chuckling at aang’s quiet snore and her friends sleeping positions that she knew they would be embarrassed about when waking.

y/n knew were zuko would be, before they fought ozai zuko and y/n had a long chat talking about there families, hopes and fears this helped them both feel less anxious about the battle. it was also there were they discussed their feelings and how after the battle was done they would be together

the place where zuko sat was beautiful a clift looking out over the ocean the moon and stars shining so brightly in the sky whilst the waves could be heard crashing gently on the shore

zuko sat there still looking out beyond the ocean the cool wind blowing gently into his hair, the moon shining down onto his face giving him a celestial glow

“love, is everything alright?” y/n whispered sitting next to zuko placing a hand over his

“you haven’t seen like yourself tonight and you know if there is ever anything wrong you can always talk to me about it” y/n said kindly to her boyfriend softly turning his head to face hers placing a kiss on his forehead, before resting her head on his shoulder

“do you remember when you and i first came here before the battle against my father?” zuko questioned still facing out towards the ocean eyes glimmering under the stars

“yes of course i do” y/n said smiling at the memory “that when you first confessed your feelings for me”

“i was so terrified that you were going to reject me and tell me you didn’t have feelings for me, that i had made up all the signs you had given me and that it was all in my head.” zuko confessed looking down at y/n resting her head on him

“but you didn’t and i thank the spirits that you love me everyday. even though i was terrified i confessed my feelings because i knew the consequences and i couldn’t live with out you in my life. coming back here with everyone just reminds of the choices i made when i was younger, how i used to act it makes me ashamed of who i am and the way i treated you hunting you down and capturing you. i’m so sorry y/n you deserve better than me” zuko looked down his lip trembling and tears threating to spill as y/n placed a hand on his cheek his eye looked up to see her teary ones

“i was scared to confess my feelings to you as well, the idea of letting a new person in especially in a romantic way was terrifying for me but i got over it because i love you zuko.” y/n declared looking zuko straight in the eye, her eyes swimming with compassion

“we all made mistakes when we were younger but we have to move one and grow you may say i deserve better but you’re wrong. i’ve seen you grow into this amazing, compassionate and kind man who i feel so lucky to be able to call my partner.” y/n gushed looking at zuko, before he slowly grabbed her face pressing his lips against hers the sound of the waves being heard as there lips moved together slowly

after there talk the couple walked back to the campsite to there mat

“goodnight my love, thank you for the chat” zuko whispered placing a chaste kiss to y/n’s forehead before wrapping his arms around the girl engulfing her in his warmth

“anytime” y/n yawned out before being overcome by the urge to close her eyes, the fire lords beating heart drifting her slowly off to sleep.

[yeojaa]

TO THE MOON AND BACK - ft. ???

You feel winded and you're not sure why.  Like you'd been walking on cloud nine and were now falling through the atmosphere, plummeting toward the ground at incredible speeds.  When you speak, it doesn't really sound like you.  "Yes."  Because he was exactly right - you were a hopeless romantic.  Always had been.  It was hard not to be when your parents were childhood sweethearts and love was the thing you'd been chasing your whole life.

alt summary.  You use your one brain cell for love.  It doesn’t always end well.

pairing.  who knows, honestly.  the obvious ones are kim taehyung and jeon jungkook, though.  

tags.  blind date, strangers, strangers to friends, strangers to lovers, getting to know each other, alternate universe, alternate universe - modern setting, romantic comedy, fluff, slow burn, smut, pining, unrequited love.

rating.  ... 18+? 

word count.  ~5200

note.  THIS GETS REAL NON-PG-13 REAL QUICK.  I'M SORRY.

chapter 6.  

You don't think you'll ever get used to it.  The kisses pressed to your crown, over your eyelids, coaxing sandman's dust from your lashes.  The saccharine laughter muddled by sleep and swept into messy sheets, threaded into stitches and saved for another day.  His hands and his warmth, all over and everywhere and yet never enough.  He was like a straight shot of adrenaline and you were a junkie, desperate for the thrill. 

Every day was like some wonderful dream - some quietly whispered wish come to life.  

And it was all thanks to Taehyung.

Since that first night, you'd fallen into an easy routine.  Good morning texts and on occasion, more, his deep drawl acting as a lullaby rather than a wake-up call.  Flowers at your doorstep when he knew you didn't have class;  a coffee and boxy smile ready when he'd meet you after your last.  Date nights every Tuesday, because your lectures ran late and you didn't have time to cook on those days.  Your favourite meal from the nearby mom-and-pop shop memorized as easily as his own name.

He was so good to you. Too good to you, you insisted, only for him to brush you off.  

Because he'd swept into your life like spring rain and where there'd once been monotony - pretty but boring shades of grey - there was now colour that blinded you.  Swaths of red and blue and yellow you'd never seen.  Some kind of King Midas, you thought.  

"Are you hungry yet?"  You're partially inclined to believe he's speaking to someone else - whoever's on the other side of his voice chat - but fail to realize he's behind you, broad frame curled around you as he traps you beneath him.  His arms span either side of you, palms planted firmly on the tabletop where you've made a bit of a mess.  There are notebooks and loose papers, a textbook with dogeared pages that looks like it's on its last legs.  There's even a half-eaten stick of Pocky sticking out from its container, lonely and forgotten.  

You turn and peer up at him, trying to focus despite your swimming vision.  You've been working on the same composition for the better part of three days and it's been hell.  No matter what you do, it doesn't come out right.  

When you almost go cross-eyed in your vain attempt to reconcile the two figures in your line of sight, he's slipping your thin gold-rimmed glasses over your ears and off your face, setting them down gently beside your pencil case.  You think he's frustrated - you would be, too, if you'd been invited over only to be ignored all night - when his hands find your jaw.  You know he isn't by how gentle he is, pad of his thumb pressing soothingly over your bottom lip. 

"Take a break, okay?"  It's a demand dressed as a request, seducing in its tenderness.  You know he's not going to take no for an answer.

You hesitate nonetheless, ready to present your first, second, and third excuses.  He silences them before they can see the light of day, coaxing them back into their hiding spots with the sweetest graze of his mouth.  Cheater.

Before you know it, you've forgotten yourself and all the reasons why you'd been so ready to return to work, fingers curling over the backs of his hands.  It's a makeshift handhold, your way of finding balance after being swept up in the storm that is Taehyung.  "Not fair,"  you chide, not unhappily.  You draw his hands to your lap, ignoring the awkward way his body shifts to accommodate the movement.

"I'm just looking out for you,"  he responds, like that's a good enough reason.  You huff.  He rolls his eyes but there's no venom behind it.  

"What do you want to eat then?  I think we have some kimbap leftover from yesterday."

"I ate that earlier when you were having a mini breakdown."  You ignore the teasing in his tone because there's adoring understanding too, and a hint of concern.  He's not part of your world but he's trying to be.  You appreciate that.

Unfortunately, your gratitude doesn't fill hungry stomachs.  "How about jjapaguri?"  

Taehyung's brow quirks and you know he's going to make some bad joke before it leaves his lips.  You recognize the tell-tale signs in the little twitch of his mouth, the way his cheeks tighten and release as if he can't hold back the absolute genius that is he.  It's only been a few weeks but you can already read him like a book.  (Also, he's a really easy book, like Goodnight Moon.)  "Are you trying to tell me you're hiding your husband in the basement?"

"Damn, you got me."  You're as deadpan as possible.  There's more tonal variety in dry toast.

You stare at each other for half an eternity and then you're both giggling.  The sound curls out of your mouth and flits into the air, dragging weight from your shoulders as it ascends.    

"You're the silliest."  It's meant to be a compliment as much as a rebuff.  Darling Taehyung takes it as only the former, beaming proudly.  He pulls gently at your hands, coaxing you to straighten with him.  He's got you where he wants you now, cradled to his chest like porcelain, and you can't help but relax into the welcoming embrace, cheek pressed to the velveteen cotton of his Celine shirt.  When you speak again, it's muffled.  "Thank you."  

You feel more than hear his laughter, his shoulders reverberating with the motion.  "Nothing to thank me for, jagi."

When he uses the term of endearment, poppy red sprouts across your skin, blooms prettily from the tip of your nose to your temples.  You still weren't used to it and you're grateful for the cover of your hair, the expanse of his chest that you're burrowed against.  "I'll go make food.  You stay here."

Then you're gone, scurrying from your bedroom before he can say another word.

Your setup is perfect.  From your chair - functional yet pretty, you'd boasted the moment he stepped foot into your bedroom - to the custom-built aluminum keyboard with cat paw esc key, it's a gamer's paradise.  Your mouse has all the sensitivity he's used to and it shifts dreamily through the colours of the rainbow, moulded grip lightweight in his palm.  (He wishes it were a little bigger, but that's a him problem.)  Even the tri-monitor display soothes his secret nerdy itch, filling the void of being away from home with it's insane resolution.  The fact that there's thousands of dollars worth of studio equipment in and around it doesn't even deter him.  He appreciates that you trust him enough to be seated here. 

Pulling your headphones over his ears, he aimlessly reaches for the attached microphone before remembering it doesn't exist.  That was something he was still getting used to.  He's not really sure where or how the sound is being picked up - maybe by one of the two microphones positioned strategically on either side of your desk, though he can't bother to figure out which - only that it is, and it's good enough for him.

"Ready?"  He prompts, watching as his user tag lights up to indicate his question.  

 JKMKNAE lights up below him.  "To kick some ass?  Yeah." 

Overwatch loads, the FINDING GAME screen sliding into view.  The timer rolls on, seconds dragging, and he makes small talk over voice chat while he waits.  No one else is on yet - their usual group of near and far online friends still showing offline on Discord - so it's just the two of them. 

"Are you going to that party?"  He's referring to the little get-together being thrown by Hoseok's new girlfriend.  Honestly, he can't remember her name - Gahyeon?  Dohyeon?  She was nice enough and his friend was clearly smitten, but given that he'd met her in passing only once, he hadn't committed it to memory.  He'd learn it before Friday, though.  Maybe.  H'd have to, if he planned on introducing you.  

Couldn't really say 'Jiyeon, meet Hoseok's unnamed girlfriend.'

"Don't know."  The response comes indistinct and he imagines Jungkook is shovelling ramyeon into his mouth - can practically hear the slurp slurp slurp through your state of the art earphones - while they queue up.  It makes his stomach growl.  "What was that?"

"What was what?"

Slurp.  Swallow.  Response.  "It sounded like a freaking animal."

Had Jungkook heard his stomach?  No way.  "That was me."

This seems to surprise the maknae, who takes a moment to cease his endless eating noises.  Thank god - Taehyung had been worried the call was about to turn into a full-blown ASMR session, complete with smacking lips and clinking chopsticks.  It wouldn't have been the first time.  "Did you get a new headset?"

"Uh, no," comes his response after a beat.  It's enough for his friend to latch onto, bowl of noodles long forgotten in favour of the unravelling string of his hesitation.

"You do sound clearer actually.  Which did you get?  Sennheiser?"    

"I didn't get a new headset."  Taehyung sounds a little as if he's frustrated with having to explain himself and that only makes the other all the more curious.  He should've known.  Since they'd been teenagers, Jungkook had been like this.  Endlessly curious, tripping over his own feet to be included in whatever news their friend group had to share.  It was almost always endearing.  

"Then are you wearing a mic taped to your stomach?"  

Another pause, punctuated by a sharp exhale. 

It's only been a few weeks - three as of this weekend, in fact - and Taehyung's still not sure where you stand.  Even when you were opening yourself up to him, there was always another layer.  You were an enigma.  An enigma wrapped inside a burrito.  He chuckles at the thought and reminds himself to use the comparison later.  He's sure you'd laugh and he loved the sound - like it was the most beautiful song in the world.

When Jungkook doesn't get an immediate response, Taehyung can practically feel the chagrin rolling through the chat.  As much as the youngest liked to tease his hyungs - and he did it often,  whether with words or action - he'd never purposely upset anyone.  He didn't have a bad bone in his body.  

Before he can apologize, Taehyung's cutting him off with a rush of words, like it's the greatest secret ever spoken into existence.  "I'm at Jiyeon's."

He'd expected some sort of excitement or downright bro-like congratulations.  It was how Jungkook operated, his bravado presented for all to see.  Anything to hide that big soft heart of his.  (He was different like that - hiding his sensitivity whereas Taehyung and Jimin paraded it around, shouted it from rooftops.)

Instead, there's silence.  Because what he doesn't see is Jungkook looking like he's been sucker punched, dealt a straight shot to the gut that he hadn't expected.  And why hadn't he expected it?  He'd known you were seeing Taehyung, heard about your frequent dates from his friend himself.  He'd had to smile along, offering congratulations like the mere thought wasn't burning him from the inside out, like battery acid hadn't replaced the blood in his veins. 

"That's great, hyung."  It sounds off to Taehyung's ears, cutting over the connection.  For a moment, he wonders if he's jostled a cable.  You'll kill him if he has.  Then there's a bang, an ear-splittingly loud crash.  "Shit!  I have to clean this up."  

Then there's the sound of a participant exiting the channel and he's left to queue all on his own.  

"Four packages was two packages too many."  You're groaning into your hands, your arms, anywhere you can bury your face.  The cold glass of your coffee table is soothing against your cheek, your heated breath forming condensation across the surface.  

Above your head, somewhere on the couch behind you, Taehyung laughs, the sound punctuated by chewing.  "I could've told you that."

You're not sure how he's still eating, diligently working through his bowl of noodles when you feel like you might explode like some scene out of Alien.  It's hard to breathe - in fact, you think you can feel the tail end of a noodle at the top of your throat - and you bite back a gag, shoulders shaking a little with the exertion.  

You're being overdramatic, you know.

"I thought I was hungry!  I thought you were hungry!"  A hand is flying up, wrist weaving bonelessly through the air as if it'll help you drive your very poor point home.  

"I am hungry."  More laughter.  You reach behind you, flailing wildly in the direction you know his legs are, and huff in triumph when your knuckles collide with the sharp bone of his shin.  You ignore the fact that you've somehow hurt yourself, too.  "You probably haven't eaten today so your stomach is the size of Po's."

As if on cue, the feline sweeps into the room, sniffing curiously at your prone figure before flouncing off to the kitchen in search of more interesting things.

"Why are you so reasonable?"  You croak like a dying woman or a frog. 

Somehow, against all odds, Taehyung still finds you adorable.  He sets his bowl down on the side table, careful to place the chopsticks neatly across the rim, and bends at the waist to fix his hands under your armpits.  You can already feel the upward momentum but whine nonetheless, the sound tipping out of your mouth like some sort of Dickensian street urchin. 

"No!  Stoooop."  

"Come here,"  your not-boyfriend boyfriend coos, dragging you onto the couch.  You slump against the cushions when he releases you, rather than falling into his side, eliciting another crinkly-eyed smile from him.  It's hard to resist when he's like this, playful and enticing.  Still, you try.  You pretend like it's nothing, curling your arms around your middle as you stare up at the ceiling.

"I don't feel good."  It's a statement that demands payment. 

Taehyung happily gives it, peppering kisses over the delicate bones of your face, his broad chest encompassing your frame.  He locks his arms around you, sliding them into place around your own, and holds you recklessly close.  You don't think you could run if you tried.  Whether it's from the noodles you've all but inhaled or the hazy desire that blooms beneath each of his kisses, you're not sure.  Maybe both. 

"I can make you feel good,"  he purrs, his mouth feather-light and teasing.  He's focused on the sensitive dip by your ear, right where your pulse throbs, and you swear you hear him chuckle before you lose all sense of your surroundings.  

The flat of his tongue presses against that sweet spot, laving hungrily at the skin like he might be able to taste the copper that sings beneath it.  You whine, louder and higher than you'd meant to, desperate even to your muffled ears.  You hear his laughter more clearly this time, breath hot against the outer shell of your ear, and you're not sure whether you're burning up on the outside or just internally.

"See, aren't you feeling better already?"  Every word from his mouth is honeyed and intoxicating.  You chase the sound, turning your face just in time to feel his lips against yours, more forceful than you'd anticipated.  As much as he teased you, he was a kind and forgiving lover, bending to your will as easily you did his.

"You're terrible."  You mean it like an insult but, in true fashion, he accepts it like the greatest compliment he's ever received.  He preens with it, tossing his head back, causing his hair to fall prettily over his eyes.

Eyes that threaten to swallow you whole, if you'd let them.  They're so dark, the ring of his iris all but engulfed by the desire that presents itself in the void of his pupils. 

Your heart stutters in your chest.  Your breath catches, hitches and careens into a gasp.  Somewhere, just beyond the realm of comprehension, you recognize a familiar fluttering in your core.  He's looking at you like you're the most beautiful piece of art he's ever seen and he wants to bang - hang - you on the wall, where you belong. 

"Do you want me to stop?"  Despite whatever war wages in his mind and the thrum of want that skitters up his bones, he's genuine in his delivery.  He wants you to want this as bad as he does.  He won't hold it against you if you don't.

You owe it to him to be honest.  "I'm not sure."

You don't miss the way his expression slips, fall just an inch.  He's so careful to retain his composure, offering you the most heartfelt smile you could ever hope for.  It doesn't quite reach his eyes, despite his best efforts.  You feel awful.  Worse then awful.  Like you'd shut the sun out.

You reach for him all at once, long fingers framing the edges of his face, thumb sweeping just beneath his eye.  He blinks once, twice, and says nothing. 

"I want you,"  you start.  It's not clear where you're going with this but you hope you find it along the way - for both of your sake's.  "I like you, Kim Taehyung."  His eyes sparkle when you say his full name and you want to give up this conversation and smother him in kisses instead.  "I really, really like you.  But I'm also scared."  You say it out loud, though you're certain he already knows.  

He presses a kiss to the pad of your thumb that's drifted and found a rhythm in soothing circles at the corner of his mouth.

"I'm an assa."  You don't seek pity or understanding.  You'd chosen this;  you liked it this way.  "I don't let people in often.  Those I do, I trust explicitly."  Your hand slides to his chest, palm flat down the column of his throat to the expanse hidden just beneath his shirt.  You settle there, over his heart, and tap experimentally.  "I don't want to ruin this - whatever it is - because I expect too much.  We deserve to be on the same page.  I don't want to ask for more than you can give."

Where the words have come from isn't clear but they spill forth, settling like lead into your veins.  He's only been good to you, accepting all of your quirks and flaws in stride.  From the first time you'd lashed out - irritable after a long night of rearranging notes - to the time he'd found you half-asleep in front of the fridge at 3 AM, he's accepted you without hesitation.  Time and time again, he'd proven his capacity for kindness, for giving you everything and asking nothing in return.

But you can't help the little voice in your head, the same one that demands love in the same breath it rebuffs it. 

"I'm right here with you."  As if to drive his point home, Taehyung's hand finds yours and squeezes.  He's so heartbreakingly handsome like this, unwavering in his sincerity.  "But even if I weren't,"  he indulges your worries, because he knows he needs to face these demons with you, lest they steal you away,  "we'd still be reading the same book.  You'd just be a few chapters ahead and that's okay."

Not for the first time, you're reminded of how overwhelmingly good he is.  It makes your heart swell ten sizes and you crash your lips to his because you want to and he wants it, too. 

"You're so poetic,"  you muse, withdrawing just enough that your words don't get lost.

He grins and does that same toss of his head, chin cocked as his tongue swipes over the soft pillow of his bottom lip.  "O, Juliet, Juliet, wherefore art thou, Juliet?"  He's inching closer, like it's a game, and you're nearly stumbling back, though you have nowhere to go.  "Deny thy father and refuse thy name."  There's mischief in this expression, setting his smile aglow.  "Take all of me."

You only manage to get your taunting response out, a snarky "that's not how that goes" before he's upon you, devouring you whole.  

Despite the hunger in his kiss, the way his mouth slants over yours in a demand, it's anything but rushed.  He takes his time in coaxing your mouth open, seeking out the warmth with tentative passes of his tongue.  You hum appreciatively when he chases yours with his own, catching your bottom lip between his teeth as some sort of punishment for getting away.  You think you could do this forever. 

So you pout when he withdraws, out of breath and delirious.  You think you must look the same, can see it reflected in his blown out pupils.  

As if to sooth your ache - it's not enough - he caresses your jaw, the delicate line of your neck, capable hands running the gamut of hot and heavy and soft and searing.  He's sprinkling weak kisses where his hands go, following the paths they carve over your exposed skin.  When he dips his tongue into the dainty turn of your collar bone, you keen, chasing the sensation when he exhales cold breath over it.

"We have lots of time,"  he parrots with a grin so smug, so salacious, you want to cry.

You're pouting, fingers curling into the silk at his nape, tugging none-too-gently on the hairs there. 

He seems to find that funny, his nose brushing the collar of your shirt, the valley of your chest that he aches to explore.  "Patience is a virtue."  

"Who says I'm virtuous?" 

You're meeting his surprised stare with big doe eyes, a coy smile playing over your kiss-swollen lips.  Taehyung almost considers giving in.  Almost.

Instead, he returns to the task at hand, trailing open-mouth kisses across the front of your shirt.  He's grateful for the flimsy cotton, the way it drapes over you like wrapping paper begging to be torn apart.  You're reclined against the cushions but it's not enough - there's no more space for him to nose past your rib cage.  He stops;  you whine.

"Tell me we can keep going."  The words are nearly lost into your skin.  He's holding you so intimately, the curve of his cheek pressed to the underside of your breast.  He can feel the scalloped trim of your bra.  It's not nearly enough.  He wants what's underneath, exhales his need in a throaty moan, lips seeking out his hidden treasure. 

You don't immediately respond and his head snaps up, a little concerned.  But you're not looking at him, lost to the ceiling above and the heavens beyond.  You look so hot.  He feels his cock twitch and he has to remind himself to wait, to hold out for your breathless yes. 

The moment it comes, you're in his arms and your eyes snap to his face, bewildered.  He's an anomaly beneath you, equal parts hard and soft.  The planes of his stomach are taut but comfortable;  he's lean muscle beneath a yielding layer.  You've never been this close, body pressed recklessly against his as he carries you to your bedroom.  Your ankles lock around him, heel of your bare feet digging into the expanse of his lower back.  He says nothing, simply nuzzles into your softness of your neck and smothers you with affection.

"What was wrong with the couch?"  It's meant to be mocking but it loses its edge when Taehyung releases you atop your bed, eagerly slotting himself between your knees when your hold on him releases.  

His hands are driven, making quick work of your tee shirt, and then he's feasting like a man-starved, taking in every line of your body like he can commit it to memory.  "You're so beautiful,"  he says in response, diving into your skin that begs to be touched, soft as silk and unblemished.  He hums happily against your throat, licking a wet stripe from your clavicle to your ear, pausing to bite thoughtfully on the lobe.  The sounds you make should be illegal.  He wants to hear them forever, until the day he dies.

The strap of your flimsy bra - pretty periwinkle lace, he notes with a quirked brow - twists around his finger and he can feel you staring at him, expectant.  When he lets it fall and you huff, he wants to laugh.  He doesn't, though, choosing to drop his head to follow the trail of his hands over the swell of your chest.  Thumb and then mouth catch, teeth nipping at your nipple in a way that makes your back arch.  He flicks his tongue out, circling the pebbled bud with precision, and he thinks he might be stealing the breath right out of your lungs by the way you're coming undone beneath him.

"Sensitive?"  He drags the edge of lace down between his teeth until the fabric is caught beneath your tits, showcasing them proudly.  He leans back on his calves, catching your wrists with ease when you try to cover up.  You're so pretty like this, head thrown back, body on display.  Like a piece of art.

He wishes he had his camera.  

"You're a tease, Kim Taehyung."  You don't know how much he loves it when you say his name like this, a little authoritative and full of want.  

Your own personal Adonis settles over you once again, kissing you as if his life depends on it.  He swallows you whole, taking all of your moans and pleas like they're prayers and he's your deity.  Maybe he is.  "Patience, jagiya."  You can feel him grinning against you, sweet as sin.  You suck his bottom lip into your mouth, dragging the edges of your teeth over the sensitive petal.

Now it's his turn to whimper, hand fisting into your hair before relaxing, fingers soothing the roots he'd just pulled. 

"I said patience,"  he repeats.  You don't have time to test him again, suddenly encompassed by the feeling of his warmth pulling away, drifting lower.  You miss the weight of him, his chest pressed to yours. 

But you like this, too, his hot breath fanning over your skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake.  You like it even more when he licks a strip down the valley of your cleavage, inhaling your scent.  You're sure you're coloured like a neon Christmas sign, rouge blossoming over your skin where you want more - need more. 

"I'm going to be so good to you."

How he manages to be so unrelentingly sweet, even while mouthing sloppy kisses over your bare abdomen, you're not sure.  He does it so well, like this side of him is only for you.  It makes you see stars.  They flicker brightly in your vision, sparked to life with each pass of his lips, each concentrated glide of his hands.

"Look at me."  It seems almost impossible that his voice has dropped even further, the lower octave simultaneously exciting and surprising.  It sinks like weights in your stomach, forcing your eyes to his face.  He's at the edge of the bed, his head ducked against the swell of your bare thigh - when had that happened? - eyes half-lidded as if swept up in dreams.  You know he's paying attention when he nips gently at the sensitive flesh, manipulating your softness with firm, unyielding hands.  "Do you know how crazy you drive me?"

You thought you'd had a clue - had spied it in the way he kissed you in the morning, held your hand in his - but you were wrong.  You realize that now, watching him watching you.

"Show me,"  you all but whisper.  An appeal, a wish, a begging demand. 

When he looks at you, it's as if your words are the keys to his heart.  He smiles that blindingly handsome smile and dips forward, shifting your calf over his shoulder.  You think you might die from the sight alone but you're sure you do - heart stopped and all - when you feel his breath at the juncture of your legs.  

He inhales deeply and you blush scarlet, the desire to clamp your thighs shut twitching your limbs.  As if he can sense your sudden shame, he redirects your attention with the tip of his tongue.  You nearly buck at the sensation, somehow already wound so tight that the feeling is a harsh constriction of the coil in your stomach.  You need him.  "Tae, please."  The sound is a garbled whine, half bitten into the pillows you're buried in.  

Luckily, he needs this just as much as you do.  He's generous with his love, spreading you wide open and nearly groaning at the sight.  You're already dripping, inviting him to sink his tongue into you.  He alternates between long, languid strokes along your slit and teasing, penetrating delves of his tongue into your hole. He dutifully ignores your clit.  You writhe beneath him and he mimics the motion, grinding his straining erection into the bed.  He feels a little bad when the motion jostles you but he thinks you don't care, too far gone in your own blissful heaven to notice.

"Tae,"  his name barely registers, so caught up in the taste of you and the way you coat his tongue, his lips, his chin.  "Tae.  Baby.  Please."  You're keening, teetering dangerously on the edge of ecstasy.  You hadn't known how badly you needed this and now it's eating you alive, burning you from both ends until you're left in ashes.

"What, jagi?"  Taehyung's the devil in disguise, pausing his ministrations to suck a wet kiss into your thigh.  Wet from his own mouth or your juices, he's not sure.  

"I need more,"  you whine, the neediest he's ever seen you.  He's so turned on.  He curses his choice of pants, the soft cotton too inconsequential against him and his useless rutting.  He needs a zipper or your hands or better yet, your mouth.  But this isn't about him. 

This is about you.  He'd come later.  Literally.

"Is this more?"  The last word disappears, a shot in the dark as he wraps his lips around your aching clit and sucks, simultaneously sinking his middle finger into your feverish core.  He groans when your hips undulate with the pressure, seeking out more like the greedy kitten you are.  He pumps into you once, then three more times for good measure, before adding his ring finger, endlessly proud of the way you take him to the knuckles without an ounce of hesitation.  "You're doing so good,"  he praises you as if he knows you need it, laving at the sensitive bundle of nerves with unrelenting attention.

He can feel it before you're able to verbalize the words, your walls fluttering around his fingers, your plea careening off your tongue.  "Please don't stop.  I'm so, so close."  A hiccup.  Your voice is wet.  "Tae, please."

So he doesn't, instead twisting until he finds that spongy spot at the front of your pelvic wall.  He rocks against it, fingers tapping with brutal precision.  It's what sends you over the edge into an Earth-shatteringly strong orgasm that he fucks you through with tender care, rolling your clit over his tongue and basking in the feel of you soaking his hand (and face and chest).

Your head's still in the clouds when he pops up, triumphant.  Even in your fucked-out bliss, you recognize he's drenched.  If he didn't look so proud, you think you'd be mortified.  

"Well, that's a first." 

notes.  as @fortunexkookie and @taehyungforreal (two of my main reasons for writing, tbh, and people i fangirl over from afar) once said, kim taehyung remains the reigning king of lovemaking.  i hope i did him justice.  xo

[clubmudkip]

The final moments of Mixer - What happens at the end of all things?

There weren’t a lot of people online for Mixer’s final moments, and I feel like this should be documented somewhere. So here it is: what it was like to watch interactive livestreaming platform Mixer exhale its very last breath.

It was announced that Mixer would be shut down on July 22nd, 2020. So hundreds of users gathered to watch the few final streams. In the minutes leading up to 12:00 midnight PST, users watched a purple and orange confetti graphic fall from the banner at the top of the site, covering streams and chats in small circles. A celebration of the end, we waited for the clock to roll over. What does the End look like? What happens when a website ceases to exist? We all wanted to find out. 

For the final hours I watched Mixer user Magiccake62 (now on Twitch under the same name!) stream her usual creative art stream; on this night she chose to make clay figures to celebrate the release of indie game Ooblets. From her hands sprang small birds, mushrooms, and frogs; all collectible creatures from the game. Finally she said, “What are they gonna do, BAN me?” and streamed a movie from her childhood. Fortunately for Maggiccake62, no copyright strikes were received, and she was able to continue until the movie’s end. 

Midnight came, and then went. And it was uneventful. We were all still here. Streams were still running. I was confused, so I did what every person born into the Age of the Internet would do. I googled it. I found one single source. (https://dotesports.com/streaming/news/mixer-shutdown-reportedly-set-for-july-23-after-marketing-error) Gaming news website DotEsports was the only reporter of... a marketing error? Despite all official sources listing the 22nd as the true shutdown time, DotEsports insists the true shutdown to be 11am PST on the 23rd. Honestly, this is so on brand for Mixer, you wonderful garbage website. 

So we laughed and shrugged, some of us kept streaming, but most of us went to bed. 

I needed to see the End. What does it feel like when our provider provides no more? Where do you go when you are kicked out of your home?  How often does a community simply cease to exist? 

I set my alarm early. I woke up at 8:45 PST. Only a few streamers were active. Most were bots running pre-recorded content; facecams saying “Thank you and remember to follow me on Twitch.tv!”. Of the few active users, I saw gamers playing Miinecraft, Fortnite, and various first person shooters that I’m not familiar with. I saw one dude streaming porn (because what are they gonna do, BAN him?). Someone was doing a radio show entitled “Mixer’s Funeral” which featured a looping gif of Gibby from iCarly playing a trumpet in front of a coffin, accompanied by various ‘80’s popular music titles. At 9:00am PST Halo Infinite was announced; many users livestreamed their reaction to the title. 

Around 10:00am PST I stumbled upon a co-stream hosted by users DigiDuncan, Gambiy23, and DB05 (all can be found on Twitch under those same names). Each streamer did their own thing; Gambiy23 streamed sitcom King of Queens right from Netflix (because what are they gonna... you know the rest), DigiDuncan scrolled through Mixer watching bits and pieces of others’ final streams, and DB05 watched Youtube poops. On a Discord call together, they wanted to stream until the very end. So this is where I stayed, tuning in and out of chat, laughing along at the long-forgotten sitcom. I got cozy, and waited. 

At around 10:40am PST, Gambiy23 received a copyright strike from Mixer and was banned, ceasing the King of Queens stream. I guess even at the End of all things, there are still rules. 

[First Screenshot] Knowing that the end was near, DB05 began playing a cutscene of the moon falling to the earth from Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask. The building music made my heart pound. At 10:54am PST, Mixer pushed notifications reading “So long, and thanks for all the fish :)”, a quote mentioned before the planet Earth is demolished in order to make way for the hyperspace bypass, featured in the book series Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy written by Douglas Adams. When I hear this quote, I think of it as a goodbye to the universe itself; an acknowledgement of the many wonders one has experienced in their life; one last expression of gratuity for the world they inhabited and the gifts they received from it. It was fitting. Mixer, unafraid, gazed into the void and shouted a final “thank you”. At the same time as the push notifications, MixerBots spammed chats with emojis of goldfish, prompting users to do the same. We sent to chats our final “i love you’s”, “thank you’s”, sent emojis and encouragements, “goodbye’s” and “goodnight’s”. DigiDuncan scrolled through the front page of Mixer, and we watched the streams start to blink out, leaving a blue Mixer “X” logo in their place. The confetti showers returned. The site began to lag. Finally, the clock struck 11:00am PST. 

And the moon fell. 

For a few seconds, the streamers laughed. “Is that it?”, “Is it over?” DB05’s moon had fallen, and the cutscene continued to play. A brilliant flash of white, and Link awakens in the past. The streamers look on, “We’re still he-” Silence cut them off. 

The voices of 10 million users, silenced in an instant. 

I think we expect the End to be deafening, chaotic, and frightening. Like an Action/disaster movie, filled with explosions and screams and panic. But instead the End was peaceful. Quiet. Almost comforting. It was like sitting atop a hill in the morning before the birds start to sing, watching the sun rise over the horizon. Alone, yet serene. 

[Second Screenshot/Third Screenshot] Almost immediately, I realized I could still click around the site. The confetti continued to fall. At 11:12am PST, I returned to the userpage of my friend. All the streams had ended, but the content was still there. User’s “About Me” pages were still active, along with all of their clips, previously recorded streams, and other things like “Stream rules”. I was able to watch the tail end of Magiccake62’s stream from the previous night. I scrolled through Mixer’s homepage, clicking on names to read their bios and watch the stored video clips. It felt like wandering through a neighborhood evacuated before a storm; no time to bring your possessions with you. Houses left unlocked, devoid of life and frozen in time. 

[Fourth Screenshot] by 11:13am PST Chats still remained active as long as you did not navigate away from the page. I continued to talk with some of the users that had been watching the stream. Just a few remaining voices, alone in this huge, empty city. 

[Fifth screenshot/Sixth Screenshot] As I continued to look through the abandoned homes, I caught the tail end of DMacAttack12’s pre-recorded finale stream from the previous night. He was playing indie game Celeste: Farewell. The main character, upon reaching the top of the mountain, experiences a dream where she sees a long dead friend. She apologizes to the friend for not attending the funeral, and the friend laughs. “The Funeral wasn’t for me. It was for all of you, stuck living on without me,” she chortled. The main character awakens from her dream, and takes the time to reconnect with her friends in the present. Perhaps Mixer’s last day was always meant to be that; not a goodbye, but a way to reconnect with each other. 

[Seventh Screenshot] At 11:30am PST, the majority of the streams’ “offline” screencaps had vanished. Chats continued to function, but you could not join new ones. Trying to visit a new stream would result in the chat section loading forever. The voices were dwindling. As far as I could tell, it was just myself and DigiDuncan. We talked about the future and exchanged Twitch handles, and thanked each other for being here - at least we could watch this noiseless sunrise together. We wondered if we were truly alone, if anyone could hear us. We wondered how long this would last. How long did the two of us have, in the End? 

[Eighth Screenshot] At 11:38am PST, chat function disconnected. I could no longer send messages to my new friend. Error messages began popping up in place of streams. DigiDuncan told me they were using chat via OBS, a client that helps you set up and organize your stream (I was just using in browser), so their world was completely different from the one that I was experiencing. I worried about DigiDuncan. I was forced out, and I don’t know if they were left to experience the End alone. 

[Ninth Screenshot] At 12:10pm PST, All mixer URLs began returning this error message. The End was no longer a void, but a brilliant blinding white light. But as quickly as it came, it vanished. 

[Tenth Screenshot] I returned to the Mixer homepage at 12:11pm PST to find it completely empty, but still stylized with the Mixer logo and signature blue backgrounds. The booming voice of the error message notifies me that something has gone wrong as the homes filled with memories I had been visiting vanish around me, leaving endless winding pavement streets and empty grass lots in their wake. What was once a bustling community was now nothing at all. Any presence of the people who once lived here, their culture, their love and their stories, had simply evaporated into the sunrise. With no other words or pictures to advertise streams, everything is quiet. It is peaceful. It is the End.

[Eleventh Screenshot] By 12:16pm PST, all Mixer URLs displayed a graphic of a blue robot with hearts for eyes. This continues to be the case at the time of posting. With no users and no staff, Mixer itself is Alone, yet serene. In this graphic, at the End of all things, Mixer sighs a final “thank you” to the diaspora.

Goodnight Mixer. So long and thanks for all the fun :)

[tipsylorie]

11 o'clock

NCT Yuta (fluff)

TEXT CONVO

You:

Hey, I'm sorta out of my mind atm... wanna hang?

Him:

Sure, but its already close to 11. Are you still allowed to go out?

You:

Yes? C'mon just a little bit.

Him:

Your parents might get angry.

You:

seen

Him:

Are you mad?

You:

Offline

Ring. Ring. Ring.

You: Hello?

Him: Are you mad?

You: No. (Your voice hitched because tears starting to stream)

Him: Hey... you sure?

You: .... (started sobbing because you couldn't hold it anymore)

Him: I'll be there in 10.

Call Ended

You just sat your bed blankly... not even remembering he is already coming over.

Beep. Beep.

Him:

I'm here.

You slowly got out of the house and met him with your fluffy and reddened eyes. He calmly walked towards you and gave you a hug that made you break again harder but you were crying on his chest minimalizing the volume of your cries.

"Its okay... I'm here just cry everything out until you feel much better." He said while patting your back with his hand and the other embracing you which made you feel safe.

After your few minutes of crying, you broke away from him and saw him giving you a warm smile to make you feel that everything is okay. "You want to talk about it?" He asked yoi sweetly. You answered with a nod. But he can sense that you dont want it to be in front of your house so you stroll around town where there's a convenience store and talk.

"Let's buy some beer." You suggested well more like ordered.

"But you hated those that is why you never drank remember?" He retorted.

"I drink. Wine. But I dont have enough money for those so just one can, please?" You asked him as cute as you can.

"Fine." He said then pointed your nose that made you scrunched your face as he walked away buying your order.

"Here." He said when he put the can of beer in front of you. You opened it and drank just a little bit. It made you realize that you were right on sticking with wine.

"So what was bothering you?" He asked slowly.

"It's like I was struck with a lot of things that I couldn't comprehend it anymore. I swear I was fine before that and I was laughing." You rambled and sipped again from your can.

"It's normal... you know. Maybe there are some things you're subconsciously attatched to and you know that happens." He started blabbering out trying to make sense and you couldn't help but find it funny because he is really makin an effort to reach out and help you. It was adorbale to be honest.

"Hey, no need to blabber things out. It's just that I recently found out that the father I know is not my real one and then I have 2 older sister from my biological father. So yeah, it was that much to take in that is why I'm acting this." You said in much calmer voice unlike earlier.

You found him blinking several times trying to find words to feel you better and that made you giggle. "Yahh! Yuta Hyung, no need to try hard just listening to me is enough and keeping me company." You said with a grin and then chugged a big amount of the beer.

"Yah! Call me oppa, not hyung. You're not a guy." He said jokingly.

"You never know. I might have the heart of a guy." You teased him.

He rolled his eyes and said, "That will only happened when spongebob got his driver's license."

His response got you rolling on the floor LITERALLY. Good thing that there wasn't any customer in the store besides the two of you. He helped yoy up before someone else could come in.

"Thanks." You said as I grabbed his hand. "You know, it feels better letting this out Yuta. Thank you." You confessed wholeheartedly. All you got as a reply is the huge grin in his face before chugging all down his beer and you did the same then he dragged you outside the store.

"Just hope in." He said as he crouch down the pavement offering me a piggy back ride.

"No.. I'm heavier than you think." You said firmly.

"It'll be fun." He insisted.

"No. I'm okay now. Rea-" Before you know it you're on his back and he started running.

You were giggling and yelling while he ran on the deserted sidewalk. It was fun and somehow will help you to get through the night.

When the two of you got back to your house, "Goodnight.... No need to worry anymore. You are kind and sweet so getting the love you receive is just what you deserve. So no need to doubt everyone's kindness and love towards you. Okay?" Yuta said as you listen to his words intnently under the bright round moon above the two of you.

You nod and said, "Thank you so much Yuta oppa. For making me feel better and always being there when I need you. I'm sorry for being a burden though."

He smiled and answered, "You're never a burden and love yourself so you can accept everyone's love without speculating. Because you deserve it all. Sweet dreams." Then he planted a soft kiss on your forehead.

You watched Yuta walk away from your house feeling happy and contented from what he said. So you easily got to sleep that night with a smile on your face.

[fallen-juniper-leaves]

interesting observation i made over the past 2 days because my friend went offline for a bit bcs he needs to figure some stuff out..

I MISS THE GUY. I WANNA TALK TO HIM ABOUT YUGIOH AND SEND BOOK OF MOON GOODNIGHT MESSAGES AND ATTACH LITTLE DINOSAURS TO THEM! I WANNA TELL HIM TO DRINK TEA AND REST!! I WANNA KNOW IF HE'S OK

[pepperoniwhirlwind]

🌼~Honesty Hour~🌼 (pt. 2)

     I was asked by @lovelynhiddenkittens to do 150 questions in the honesty hour tag quite a while ago, and only did a third of it. But no longer will this be the case! Midterms are mostly over (the two biggest ones are done at least) so I can focus on more fun things, like answering these questions! Here’s my answers to questions 51-100:

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

     Yes. I have a lot of internalized shame about my body type (petite and curvy) that whenever I see someone super tall or toned I just want to be them. Even if it’s only for a day. I don’t have these wishes so much anymore though. Alex and I have been dating for 5 months (on the 21st of this month) and he loves my body type. Thanks to him, I’m learning to love myself, and learning that I don’t have to be a model to be loved~ 💕

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

     My depression. I feel like it makes me a burden on everyone, and although it’s shaped who I am, has it really changed me for the better? Maybe I’m more understanding and empathetic because of it, but it’s also caused me an inordinate amount of pain, and unnecessary pain for my loved ones.

53. Favorite make-up brand?

     I don’t wear make-up often enough for me to even have a clue.

54. Favorite store?

     What I’m buying changes which store I prefer. If it’s food, I generally hit up Fry’s. If it’s home decor (Which Alex and I needed quite a bit of in recency, given that we just moved into an apartment together a few months ago) I shop at Target. If I need to buy shampoo, face wipes, deodorant, shaving cream, etc. I typically go to Wal-Mart. Does anyone really have just 1 store that they shop at? I know if I bought non-food items at Fry’s I’d go bankrupt. 😂

55. Favorite blog?

     That’s a real tough one. I love all of my Tumblr friend’s blogs. @im-here-cause-im-not-all-there posts a lot of stuff I relate to, same for @theperksofneurodivergency, who always posts great content. Seriously, I could sit here for ages and list off all the people on Tumblr that I follow, but that would be ridiculous. Rest assured that if I follow you, it means I generally like what you post.

56. Favorite color?

     I love darker colors on the cooler end of the color spectrum; mainly green, blue & purple. I even like pastel colors occasionally. Though that’s more likely when I’m being influenced by some of my alters who like lighter colors. Like Honey, who loves pastel colors, and all things sweet really. That’s why sunflowers are her favorite flower. She appreciates all the sunny and cheerful things in life. ☀️ In our inner world, she even has a garden that she tends to regularly, and grows (you guessed it) sunflowers, among other things.

57. Favorite food?

     Oh look, another tough one. Hmm... It really depends what I’m in the mood for. But my boyfriend recently started taking me to Schlotzsky’s, which has a lot of really good sandwiches. Though, I’m always down for some Arby’s. I’m in a rut there, but I don’t care. Their roast beef classic and curly fries are to die for. 😋

58. Last thing you ate?

     Speaking of Arby’s... 😆 I ate there for dinner last night in celebration of passing my proctored exam for my math class. It was worth 75% of my grade, and I wasn’t allowed to have anything (they even confiscated my bottle of water). It took 2 hours and was suuuper stressful. So my BF rewarded me with Arby’s when I passed~ 😄 This is just one of the many reasons why I love him~ 💖

59. First thing you ate this morning?

     It’s the morning right now, and I haven’t eaten yet... 😅 Does the two sips of my boyfriend’s coffee count?... No?... Okay. *sighs* I should go eat now actually, so I can take my morning meds. Thanks for reminding me, Tumblr ask!

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

     I got first place in a race once... then immediately quit the track team. 😂 Running just wasn’t for me. I’ve won blue ribbons for art (culinary and painting mostly) before at the 4-H Fair, but I don’t think I’ve ever been in a proper competition that I won. I recently participated in a Drag Show at my college, and even signed my performance (I know ASL, and I hoped it would make me stand out a bit against the competition), but I didn’t win. It was actually a really close call between all the participants, and the host/judge couldn’t decide who the audience cheered louder for, so the lady who’d set up this event had to come up and make the decision. I was one of the first people she decided should leave the stage. So, needless to say, I felt a little embarrassed and defeated afterwards.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

     I never even had detention 😂 ; I was a goody two-shoes growing up. I was always the teacher’s pet, so no, I was never suspended or expelled.

62. Been arrested? For what?

     ⬆️ See the point I made above for your answer. ⬆️ I’d have to cease being a goody two-shoes first before being arrested is even a possibility, so no, my record is squeaky clean... we won’t speak of the songs I’ve illegally downloaded from YouTube though. >-> <-< Don’t tell the po-po about this, or else I’ll be forced to participate in court-ordered rehab for my music addiction. 😂

63. Ever been in love?

     Yes~ 💘 I’m in love right now, with the most supportive and understanding man I’ve ever known~ I shouldn’t have to say who at this point, but I will. It’s my BF, Alex~ ❤️

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss.

     Well, this was back when I lived in Indiana. I had a core group of friends, that all happened to be on the LGBT+ spectrum, so we were practically dripping in rainbow-y goodness. 🌈 Mich, essentially the leader of the group, is trans. While Levi is gay and Laci (she thought she was a lesbian originally, and identified as such for the time that I knew her; I don’t really have contact with any of them anymore) is bi. That just leaves Sasha, who is also bi, and she was my first kiss. Mich, Sasha, I, and others (Levi and Laci weren’t there though) all decided to play spin-the-bottle. Sasha was the first person I landed on, and I still remember her kiss. It was soft, like a cloud, and tasted like strawberries. 🍓 It was a wonderful first kiss, but I definitely prefer kissing Alex the most~ 😍

65. Are you hungry right now?

     Well, considering I just ate a mini donut with my pills... yes, yes I am. 😂 ...Don’t you judge me either! Alex and I bought a bunch of mini donuts for our last D&D gaming sesh at Tyler’s, and there was still a bunch left over, so someone has to eat them, and I didn’t feel like making a proper breakfast. Plus, the one I ate is strawberry flavored, so how could I not eat it? If anyone turns down a strawberry donut, suspect immediately that they are a lizard-person.

66. Do you like your Tumblr friends more than your real friends?

     What a savage question. No, I do not. I like all of my friends, equally, whether they’re online or offline. I only care if my friends are good people or not; and if they care and respect me as much as I do them. Whether they live nearby or not is of little importance to me. I base my friendships off of their character, their morals; not their place of residence.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

     Well, I don’t have a Twitter, and only really check my Facebook once in a blue moon. So... neither?... What, is that not an option? Fine... I choose Facebook... I guess.

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

     Tumblr.

69. Are you watching TV right now?

     No, I’m currently typing this... I am listening to music though, of course. 😆

70. Names of your best friends?

     Well, Tyler’s the only friend I have IRL that knows me, like, truly knows me. By that, I means she knows about my DID, among other diagnoses, as we’ve talked at length about both of our diagnoses before. Since she has Bipolar disorder, she gets what it’s like to have a “scary” mental illness; the ones that get characterized by media to always be violent and unhinged. She didn’t judge me or fear me, she only asked questions and tried to learn as much about my system as she could, which tells us that she truly cares and understands. I’ve told other people before, but they’re either no longer a part of my life, or were creeped out by my DID, and are choosing to forget that I ever told them in the first place. My Tumblr friends also know about my DID, given that I post about it and mention it in my blog bio, but there’s a certain level of anonymity on the internet that allows for me to be more open about it. Telling someone IRL? Now that’s terrifying. It takes a lot of trust, and given that I have had some bad reactions in the past, it makes it even more daunting.

71. Craving something? What?

     Honestly? A vacuum. And a mop, while I’m at it. I’ve been cleaning for most of the morning, and those are the only cleaning supplies that I need and don’t have. I keep trying to talk Alex into buying them, but he’s not as bothered by dirty floors as I am. He even walks around barefoot on these filthy floors! IDK how! Even if I’m wearing socks it bothers me. I don’t like stepping on anything, and the only way I don’t feel what’s on the ground is if I’m wearing shoes. So... I basically never take off my shoes except for when I’m in bed. 😂

72. What color are your towels?

     What a weird question. 😆 Before I moved in with Alex, I lived with my parents, and we didn’t have a standard color of towel. We had an assortment of colors from multiple old sets of towels, a lot of them raggedy, some of them bleached, most of them ancient. Then when I started living with Alex, we still have some towels of differing colors, but most of them are blue and soft~ ✨ The sheets and pillow cases are blue too, though a lighter shade.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

     Not anymore. I used to when I was younger though. When I was a kid my stuffed animals felt like my children. I would rotate which ones got to sleep with me each night, hug and kiss them all goodnight then tuck them in. If one of them fell out of my arms in the middle of the night, it would wake me up immediately. Not even a slow, groggy wake-up. It was like my motherly instinct was an alarm clock, so I would wake up instantly and be wide awake, frantically searching for the stuffed animal that fell out of my arms. I would then pick them up, dust them off and apologize, then snuggle them and drift off back to sleep. When I was a teenager, I mostly cuddled them when I was lonely and needed some companionship to fall asleep. Now that I snuggle and sleep with my boyfriend each night, I no longer sleep with my stuffed animals, but I still love them and keep them as decoration for my bed at my parent’s house, since I never really sleep there anymore. I nap there occasionally, but that’s about it.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

     Uhhh... I’ve never actually counted, but at least a tub full.

75. Favorite animal?

     Elephants and foxes, equally~ 💖

76. What color is your underwear?

     I’m wearing black panties at the moment. It’s satiny with lace, so it’s cute and comfy; the best of both worlds. 😉

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

     Definitely chocolate, 🍫 provided it’s not too rich.

78. Favorite ice cream flavor?

     I’m obsessed with matcha green tea ice cream right now, OMG, it’s sooo good~ 😋 Same goes for the matcha green tea frappuccino at Starbucks. It’s the only drink there that I actually get. I’ve tried other beverages they have, and generally don’t like them, but the matcha green tea frap is too delicious for it’s own good.

79. What color shirt are you wearing?

     I’m actually wearing a really comfy dress right now, that I slept in as a nightgown last night. 😆 It’s gray and has a lace band on each sleeve.

80. What color pants?

     ⬆️ Once again, reference my previous entry. ⬆️ I am pantless, given that I’m sporting a dress at the moment.

81. Favorite TV show?

     Oh geez... another hard one. Let’s see... I’ll just put the name of the show I’m watching the most right now. That would have to be “Crazy Ex Girlfriend” on Netflix. Before that I watched the newest seasons of “BoJack Horseman” as well as “Orange Is the New Black”, but I’ve already finished those.

82. Favorite movie?

     Honestly, I’ve been really obsessed with “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” recently. When I re-watched it as an adult, I noticed how much more serious that movie is compared to Disney’s other films. They cover some pretty dark subject matter, and do it well... *sighs* if only they’d nixed the addition of the gargoyles. They ruin every emotional or tense scene that they’re placed in, and make the lighter scenes just plain cringey. I know they wanted to make it suitable for kids, but I think Disney underestimates what kids can handle, especially considering they reference the darker scenes subtly enough so as to keep the movie’s G rating intact. Like what about the goat, Djali, that belongs to Esmeralda? The goat could have been the comic relief, but instead they brought in the talking gargoyles. They couldn’t even do something cool with the gargoyles, like make them a part of Quasi’s imagination. He’s been alone in a bell tower for his entire life, so it would make sense that he would begin talking to the statues and giving them personalities... but no... it’s shown at the end that the gargoyles can interact with and impact the real world, making them a part of it as well.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

     Well, considering I’ve only ever seen the first one, and didn’t even know there was a second one, I’m gonna have to go with “Mean Girls”.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

     I’ve never seen “21 Jump Street”, so once again, “Mean Girls” takes the cake.

85. Favorite character from Mean Girls?

     Oh, that’s hard, especially when they’re all such fun characters. Janis is pretty cool, so she’s up there, but Karen is probably my favorite. She’s such a simple, naive soul, you can’t help but love her.

86. Favorite character from Finding Nemo?

     Dory, hands down. But I wanna give a special shout-out to Bubbles, the character from the fish tank that, (you guessed it) is obsessed with bubbles. 😆 He cracks me up every time.

87. First person you talked to today?

     Alex. Considering we both wake up in the same bed, it would be nearly impossible for him not to be the one I talk to first thing in the morning.

88. Last person you talked to today?

     Once again, Alex, given that it’s still early in the day and I haven’t seen anybody else yet.

89. Name a person you hate?

     All of my abusers. Every. Single. One. They made me feel small, worthless, and unloved. So I hope each one of them feels that way for the rest of their miserable existences.

90. Name a person you love?

     My boyfriend, Alex~ He’s my world, my hopes and dreams, and everything I aspire to be~ 💖

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

     No. I want to punch all of my abusers in the balls. With a baseball bat. Repeatedly, until they’re infertile.

92. In a fight with someone?

     No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

     Only one. I want to buy more, but that requires that I have money, which I don’t.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

     I have my Nirvana sweatshirt, my “Nightmare Before Christmas” sweatshirt, and two hoodies with my college logo on them. One’s gray and the other is red.

95. Last movie you watched?

     “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”.

96. Favorite actress?

     I have no idea. So I’m gonna go find a list of the top 100 actresses and go from there. *some time passes* So, I found an actress I actually know, and that’s Krysten Ritter, who played Jessica Jones on Netflix’s hit series named (you guessed it again! Wow, you’re really good at this.) “Jessica Jones”.

97. Favorite actor?

     That’s a tie between Robin Williams (I really miss him... He was such a vibrant and energetic actor, who also knew how to portray more serious, and heart-felt scenes. He was a skilled actor and a good man. May he rest in peace.) and Tom Hanks. I like quite a few films starring those actors.

98. Do you tan a lot?

     Never.

99. Have any pets?

     No... 😭 RIP Batman and Robin (my previous pet hermit crabs).

100. How are you feeling?

     Productive! I practically cleaned the whole apartment in like 2 hours this morning, and just finished another third of this ask! I’m on a roll, and intend to do homework in a minute. For now though, I’d like to thank everyone who read through to the end, as well as thank @lovelynhiddenkittens for sending the ask in the first place! Sorry it’s taking so much time to finish it, but I’m over halfway done now! Whoo~! 🎉 *sets off a confetti popper and basks in the confetti shower* Anyways, take care everyone! I hope you all have a fantastic rest of your day (or night, wherever you are, just have a wonderful time!) See ya ‘round the bend~! 👋

*grabs a broom and begins sweeping up the confetti, muttering to myself* Why do I do this? Every time, I know I’m gonna have to clean it, but I do it anyway...

[remus-lupin-is-my-type]

Remus is offline!

((OOC: Both my moon boi and the mun are sleepy hehe but it’s been a blast guys!!! Thanks so much for all your questions! Goodnight <3))

[allfallsdown]

Is anyone else involved in the ASMR community?

I have been obsessed for a few years now, and I really have zero people offline who “get” it. This is the first time I’ve talked about it on Tumblr. I need some ASMR friends. Share your fav artists and vids with me! Also, for the record, I have yet to experience tingles; I’m watching for mainly relaxation.

Anyway, in the last 24 hours, we have been blessed with so many incredible videos: asmrglow, lily whispers, gentle whisper, ASMRREQUESTS (my fucking favorite!!!), goodnight moon (her nightshade witch videos are my biggest crush right now), and Olivia kissper.

[cybertronianlovenest]

Kiss of betrayal: Part 1

Jazz POV: I groaned as I slumped against one of the few trees large enough to hold my weight. Things had been unusually quite around here lately and I shuddered to think of what Megatron might be up to this time. Above my helm a birds flitted about, one becoming brave enough to peck me as the other opted to only chirp loudly hoping to discourage my presence. A heavy vent escaped as I looked out over the lake. The pale light of the full moon shimmering over the glassy surface. Small shapes dated just beneath the waters surface, sending the light shuddering as they fought over their small homes. Nipping and chasing each other before darting back into their shells to wait on the next challenge. It still intrigued me how these small fish had gotten here. An internet search marked them as cichlids from lake tanganyika. That was in Africa though. I reasoned that a careless human had released them after getting board. In any matter they offered a welcome reprieve from my other wise scrambled thoughts. It wasn't easy to keep up the facade of being happy all the time. Sometimes I just felt like giving up, just becoming another casualty to our war. I knew it was selfish, that Optimus needed me, but I wished he didn't. My lips pulled down as I felt someone watching me. Figures I couldn't even have my moment in peace. "Ah know yer out there! Ya know fraging well ya don't stand a chance against meh!" A faint russle of leaves singled they were coming my way. Perhaps I'd been wrong, maybe Prowl had followed me. Surely no con would be dumb enough to walk right up to me. I glanced up before I was on my peds ready for a fight. "Soundwave!" This may not turn out so well. I could have taken near any other mech, but he could be problematic. "Jazz." His visor glowed brightly in the early morning moon light as he sank to sit at the lakes edge. My jaw clenched as he reached into his subspace to pull something out. I was ready to move at a seconds notice, when he sprinkled something into the water. The fish darted up, picking up whatever he was dropping and I eased abit closer to see the ever so tiny crumbs they were eating. "What are ya doing?!" The telepath hummed lightly but didn't bother looking up. "They need to eat." It took a second to wrap my mind around the fact that they were his pets. "A Decepticon that keeps pet fish. There's something ah never thought ah'd hear." He hummed again, giving them a last sprinkle before placing the bucket back into his subspace. "They are Samantha's. Soundwave feeds them for her while she is away." I blinked at him, wondering if he was serious. Then he just walked away, like he wasn't concerned about me at all... Ratchet crossed his arms as I finished telling him about what happened. "As I've said. I didn't find any evidence of a hack, for the third time. I don't know why he left without a fight but he didn't touch your processor. Be glad." Prowl watched as I stood from the cot, looking concerned. "I am glad that you're OK. Perhaps next time you should stick closer to base." I rolled my optics, letting him follow me from the medbay. "What fun would that be Prowler? Sides, ahm not gonna let him push meh around. Thanks for worrying about meh though." He didn't look amused as we made our way down the long hall way towards my room. "Things could have ended much differently tonight Jazz." "Everything we know could end at anytime, Prowler. Ah for one am not gonna spend meh life jumping around at what could be. Danger is everywhere and until ah offlined ahm gonna do what ah please for as long as ah can." He came to a step as reached my door but I could tell he wanted to say more, I just wanted to go to sleep though. "Goodnight Prowler." He cycled a vent, resting his hand against the wall as my door swished shut once more. My face landed in the not so soft bedding and I was out near instantly... Soundwave POV: I watched as my target dipped his peds into the lake. It almost seemed sureal that I could be doing this now. Before Megatron had gone too far, his own greed had been his undoing but it was in my favor. After a second longer I slipped from the tree line, no doubt he already knew I was there. He was to perceptive not to. "What are ya doing here?" I didn't answer right away as I slipped into the cool water, wading out till it was around my shoulders. "I enjoy swimming here. Jazz should join, the water is quite nice." He cycled a vent and rested his chin on his arm, watching me. "Ahm good. Why do ya keep finding meh?" I didn't bothering answering before I flared my armor and slipped under the waters murky surface... When I came again a few kliks later Jazz was no where to be found. My vents cycled a few times, expelling the muddy water from them before they could work properly once more. I had really hoped he'd stay. Jazz POV: I sighed as my back hit the soft grass blanketing the ground. It'd been a few weeks since I saw Soundwave last. I guessed he must have grown board with whatever he thought he was going to find out about me. My spark hitched, making me wince once more. I shouldn't even be out here while I'm sparkcalling but I was feeling very restless tonight. Prowl offered to help but I wasn't ready just yet so I'd just told him I'd take him up on that later. I really didn't want anyone around the way I was feeling. Let along have them find out just how hard I had to fight to keep up my act. Lately it was getting harder and harder to think of a reason why I needed to stay, why they needed me. I couldn't quite put my finger on what had changed. I hadn't been happy for quite some time, but lately I just felt like I wasn't needed any longer. I sighed, though the familiar prickle of being watched turned it to a growl. I was in no mood for him tonight. "Go away! Why do ya keep finding meh?!" My denta clenched as Soundwave moved closer to tower over me. "Jazz does not make it hard. One would think you want to be found." "One would be wrong!" I replied, optics darting up to where he stood over me. I knew that it was foolish to allow him to have me at such a disadvantage, but I couldn't bring myself to care. There was a growing part of me that longed to be done with this misery and Soundwave just could be my end. He shifted slightly, then moved toward my side before sinking to his aft. My denta clenched together as I watched him sprinkle the crumbs of food into the lake. The small fish on occasion launching clear out of the water to snatch a piece. Soundwave's face mask snicked down suddenly before he pulled a cube from his subspace and took a drink, then passed it to me. "Highgrade." For several seconds I just stared at it before finally taking the offered cube. There were so many reasons why I shouldn't still be here, but for the life of me I seem to think of a good enough one to leave. This was borderline treason, not to mention he could offline me at any second. Or perhaps try to hack into my systems to gain information. I could stop that though, and he knew it I was sure since he hadn't bothered to try. "Its quite clear tonight, though rather on the cool side." The sudden speech made me jump slightly before finally taking the first sip of my gifted cube. I really hasn't expected it to be any good since they didn't have the ability to make it as we did. Their fuel was substandard at best, but this had a pleasant flavor. My optics brightened several shades before dimming to a soft glow as I let the sweet slightly spicy tingle coat my glossa. Soundwave took out another cube, this one for himself. "Query, Jazz approves?" I nodded softly, sitting up more fully to enjoy my treat. "Samantha made them. She is getting very good at making our fuel." A frown crossed my face, cube stopping just before my lips. "Ya got humans held hostage to make yer fuel?" He shook his helm lightly. "Only one human, though the argument could be made that she isn't anymore. She is also not held hostage. Attempting to do such has not ended well for Megatron and I do not plan to make the same mistake." My optics brightened, the implication of what he just said was far from lost on me. I finally looked over to him and he inclined his helm to my unasked question. "He is offline." For several long moments I couldn't speak. How long had we been fighting for that outcome? And a human had gotten the job done?! My processor could barely wrap around that as I watched him take another drink. "Humans can be cyberformed by transfluid. They just have to be given a source to kindle a spark from. Soundwave's was chosen for both in hopes she would gain my abilities. It worked far better than he anticipated and she offlined near everyone on base minus myself and Barricade. Being kindled like that she was young and he did his best to care for her which saved his life. The same can be said for me." I swallowed thickly, watching as he swirled his cube. Something just didn't sit right. Why would he tell me this? He must know that it would put him in a huge amount of danger since he no longer had the back up to save him. Unless it was all a trick to get us to let our guard down. "Right. Ya think ahm that dumb huh?" He glanced over. "Soundwave thinks many things of Jazz, lack of intelligence is not one of them." He rose to his peds once more, inclining his helm lightly before disappearing into the long shadows cast by the trees. I had better get going as well. Prowl would get worried if I didn't show soon... Soundwave POV: I kept my distance, being sure to only glance at my target every now and then. He would know if I risk more than that. It was very clear that he was sparkcalling. The contestant rubbing of his chest, grinding his aft against the ground, and the trick smears of lubricant staining his other wise clean plating gave him away. The shudder of his vents filled the air and I lifted the stun ray. One shot... The beam raced from the canon at the same second he turned. I held my vents as our optics caught, for a split second I thought I would lose my change. Then his helm bowed, he just left it strike him. I knew he could have gotten out of the way. Even durning this cycle he could have avoided it. So why didn't he? I wanted to believe that he knew he wasn't in danger, that he wanted me to take him way from here. Unfortunately what I wanted to believe and what he really thought were two vastly different things and I couldn't even fool myself. The look in his optics as the stun ready hit was of a mech that had given up, who was ready to offline. I just wished I knew what had caused him to look at me like that... Jazz POV: I kept my optics offline as I began to reboot. The few short snips of Soundwave holding the stun ray looping over in my processor told me everything I needed to know. I had really hoped he'd just offline me out there, not knowing what he had planned sent an unpleasant shiver down my struts. "Query, Jazz is ready to stop playing dead?" My jaw clenched and I finally onlined my optics to see him standing in front of me. A gentle tug at my arms told me what I had already suspected. My hands were restrained by stasis cuffs and I wouldn't be going anywhere. A small smirk curved my lips even through the fear of what was going to happen. It really wasn't funny, but I really should have known how this would end. Perhaps a small part of me did, wanted it even. After all, the last few vorns had become a blur of numbed pain. Not physical, no, that I could handle. This was so much worse and I almost lusted after the chance to feel something else. Maybe it would stop the creeping ache in my spark. I couldn't help the spiteful chuckle that escaped me as I stiffened then slumped against the wall. "Well get on with it then!" Even with his face covered I could tell I had unnerved him, something that made me smirk. He stepped toward me and my frame arched forward involuntarily, searching out the pain I knew could finally ease my spark. Fingers brushed down my middle as he finally came in reach. I had almost expected them to be cold. They weren't though, they felt warm against my plating as he slowly guided one up towards my neck. It was impossible to see what he was thinking but his stance hinted at regret. Maybe he didn't want to be doing this. There was the possibility that he was just trying to decide where to attack first though. I wished he'd hurry. My spark lurched inside its chamber. Having another so close yet being denied was torture in itself. Maybe he knew that. My peds dug into the floor, both trying to get away and closer at the same time. Every fiber of my frame was at odds with each other. Each pulse of my spark crying for a different course of action. A struggled groan escaped as his chest became flush with mine and it was all I could do to keep my chest plate closed. I should have just went with Prowl. This was far worse than any kind of physical torture he could even imagine inflicting. The fragger knew it too. He knew I'd never break to anything he could to my frame. He waited and watched me until I was at my weakest before making his move. "Ya fraging glitch!..." He leaned over slightly as I panted, trying to cool myself. A hand slid down my frame, catching my aft and pulling me even closer. "Open Jazz..." "Frag ya!" He hummed lightly and pulled away making my spark shudder violently in protest. I fought down my keen as he pulled away and left the room. This was a mistake... I should have known he wouldn't just offline me...

[saixdarknessgone]

Alright, so everything has finally been updated and replaced with better newer stuff making the blog look better and not some...old shit-

with the finish of my new icon and being 3am I’m off-

[elainescookingforthesoul]

TRANSCRIPT for Episode 1.07 "Betty Lou's Sweet Potato Something" (PART 2/2)

ACT II

ELAINE: Hello and welcome back to Elaine's Cooking Podcast for the Soul, a podcast to keep your post-nuclear dining new and clear...from fallout radiation! I'm your host Elaine Martínez, and this evening we have worked up a delicious dish with our fresh and clean friend Betty Lou.

BETTY LOU: Betty Lou, five-foot-two, eyes o' blue. 

ELAINE: If you are just catching up with us, you missed the whole darn thing. But maybe Betty Lou will catch you up.

BETTY LOU: In a flash, this Sweet Potato Something that's still baking in the toaster oven is made up a can of cut and peeled sweet potatoes from a can. We mixed that up with some brown sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg, pineapple tidbits, and some almond milk. Then we topped her with a kind of homemade granola mix of raw rolled oats, brown sugar, and pecans. And bingo-bango--

[TOASTER OVEN DINGS]

ELAINE: Oh look at that, what great timing. 

BETTY LOU: Oh Elaine, I saw you crank that dial to make it go off. 

ELAINE: It's the great secret of all cooking shows. Let's take a peek! Mm, it smells so--

[TOASTER OVEN DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

BETTY LOU: So much better than it looks, right?

ELAINE: And I bet it tastes better than either. 

[TOASTER OVEN DINGS]

BETTY LOU: Crunchy-looking oats, gently-baked sugar over a bed of delicious sweet potatoes. I'm just going to dive right into the pan itself here. Would you like to grab a fork and join me?

ELAIN: Nothing would give me greater pleasure.

[FORKS SCRAPE]

ELAINE: Mmm. 

BETTY LOU: What do you think of my Sweet Potato Something, Elaine?

ELAINE: It is truly something.

BETTY LOU: Thank you. What I like best about this recipe is that the margin of error is as wide as the clear blue sky on a brisk autumn morning.  

ELAINE: Yes, you could sub in dried cherries or walnuts or--

BETTY LOU: Just forty degrees as the sun peeks over the horizon, but certainly a sixty-eighter by the afternoon. Clouds building slowly throughout the day so that by sunset, the sky is an delicious explosion of color that Michelangelo himself would look at with rapture, paintbrush falling to his side.

ELAINE: Yes...well I'm--

BETTY LOU: There is a breeze, but only one that brushes the tallest grasses. So gentle it may well be a grasshopper--or a thousand grasshoppers--flickering throughout the field. The brighter stars have started making an appearance, and the moon is too excited and leans on your shoulder even as the sun sets. Our moon takes her place like a god ready to answer the prayer of every tiny firefly that blinks out a message of beautiful desperation. A magpie flutters down to pluck one last blackberry from among the thorns and is silent. A perfect day from dawn to dusk. Sweet. Potato. Something...

ELAINE: Wow. 

BETTY LOU: Oh, I was doing the thing again, wasn't I? I just hate it when a conversation becomes so dull, the weather is really all folks feel good talking about. I'm sorry, Elaine. 

ELAINE: Really, it was more of a reverie, a monologue. I enjoyed it.

BETTY LOU: Oh good.

ELAINE: Betty Lou, it means so much that you take the time out of your day to help us discover new ways of working with old rations. 

BETTY LOU: It was truly my pleasure. It's almost curfew, so I suppose I should skeedaddle before the Ad Ministers make their sweep.

ELAINE: True. It's very important that we all make it indoors before 7pm when The State releases the bots. They're relatively harmless, I'm told, the Ad Ministers.

BETTY LOU: They're nine feet tall, Elaine! Have you interacted with one yet? All they do is come right up to your face and advertise something you haven't heard of in ages. 

ELAINE: A patient told me that they are just there making facial recognition scans and nothing more. Still, I've also heard rumors that they may collect stragglers...

BETTY LOU: They look fucking terrifying, so I'm going to dash, dear. Give me a big hug, okay?

ELAINE: Big hug, Betty Lou. 

BETTY LOU: Bye, honey.

[DOOR BELL JINGLES]

ELAINE: Betty Lou certainly has more to say about the weather than she would like to admit. But what if that simple touchstone conversation--"sure is hot today...hope this rain lets up soon...hope the climate simulators don't go offline again..." what if these are not social fallback topics but rather simple and underrated ways to relate ourselves to one another and the community at large? Discussing the activities of the atmosphere and its impressions upon our porous skins is like suggesting that though we reside in different bodies, we are truly united on this planet. Just as the warmth of the sun so enthusiastically permeates the ever-thinning membrane of the ozone, so too does a simple word of solidarity permeate our similarly thinning society. I guess the idle ponderings of small talk are a welcome consistency as everything else in this world seems to be undergoing an anxious and relentless change. I suppose I'd rather talk to my neighbors about the weather than to not talk to them at all. I don't know if I would have said that before...So here we are, at the end of another day. I'm so thankful you, dear listener, were able to join me this week, and continue to be thankful for those of you who return the mini-USBs I download every episode onto. Stay tuned for the next drop-off/pick-up point. I have a feeling this week's episode will be a shoe-in...for some nice listening? Does that make sense? Did you listen to the ad? Anyway, this has been Elaine's Cooking Podcast for the Soul. I'm your host Elaine Martínez, not crying, hugging you goodnight. 

[OUTRO MUSIC PLAYS OUT]

END OF ACT II.

[anklenephew1-blog]

A Digital Library Website for Young Readers

Epic is a popular digital library for kids. It has been featured in Common Sense best EdTech of 2017. Epic provides access to thousands of high quality books, audiobooks, read-to-me books, and learning videos for kids and young learners.  Students will get to choose from a rich collection of reading materials and as they read they will earn badges and achievements. As a teacher, you can create an account on Epic, select a few subjects and get book recommendations based on your students interests and reading levels. You can create individual profiles for your students and have them sign in to your group. You can then share with them reading assignments, quizzes, activities, reading materials, track their reading progress and many more.

Epic supports both online and offline reading and works across different devices and platforms (the web, iPad and Android). Its library includes over 20,000 titles spanning different themes and topics ‘from picture books to chapter books, early readers, audiobooks, graphic novels, non-fiction titles, educational books, videos and more. Epic now includes Spanish books and Chinese books…Well-known books and series include Fancy Nancy, Flat Stanley, Warriors, Biscuit, National Geographic Kids, The Chronicles of Narnia, Batman, Goosebumps, Clifford, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Goodnight Moon, Big Nate, and many more.’

Watch the video below to learn more about Epic.

First appeared here

Source: https://www.educatorstechnology.com/2018/09/a-digital-library-website-for-young.html

[practicesmilinginthemirror]

OFFLINE.

[[I have only one draft, for Gabriel (no one else), so please correct me if I’m wrong. 

Also, I’m in the process of squaring up a bio and info for a Stranger Things AU for John.  EXCITED ABOUT IT.  Sharing this to keep in mind I am completely open to other-fandom AUs, or non-fandom-related AUs.  Joining others or creating new ones, both are fair game.

GOODNIGHT, MOON.]]