#Gender and sexuality

[nerdygaymormon]

It’s not a change in reality, it’s a change to our understanding of reality

[indigenous-gender]

Nah cuz I been clockin the hatred of men as anti-Black anti-Indigenous and transphobic from day one. I’m HORRIFIED by the beliefs/attitudes and mistreatment of (trans, queer, third and cultural gender) men of color that I witness from radfems and TERFs, AND everyday (predominantly yt) queer ppl. Queer men of color and third gender men have been subjected to this abusive treatment for so long that we have become ashamed to be queer ashamed to be proud as men who are attracted to men. I shouldn’t have to hide the fact that I’m attracted to men. I shouldn’t have to feel shame for the fact that I’m attracted to men, have relationships with men, and love being with and identifying as a man. being a man of color is beautiful. Being a man does not make you evil, an abuser, or a bad person. Being a man does not have to be restricted to colonial gender binaries and constructs. We can build our own cultural, traditional masculinities and manhoods that are liberating, not oppressive. claiming that manhood and masculinity are inherently violent is race and gender essentialism.

[malorydaily]

For those interested in more about general conceptions of masculinity and knighthood (as there will be many more descriptions of tournaments in coming chapters of the book), From Boys to Men: Formations of Masculinity in Late Medieval Europe by Ruth Mazo Karras is a wonderful resource.

Despite being written just over 20 years ago, it introduces a lot of ideas that are widely agreed upon in the work of critics today – no excerpts from me for this as I don't have a great copy to work from, but highly recommended nonetheless.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

What do you think gay men are attracted to in men that they can’t be attracted to in women?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives men-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait men have that women can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

- [ ]

I've let this ask sit in my inbox for a while, but I think it's time I answered it, though the answer will most certainly not be to your satisfaction, anon, I'm afraid.

First off, I'm a bisexual man, and so I definitely don't have any first hand experience of experiencing attraction to only one gender. And in these things, first hand experience is all that matters.

Secondly, as for other species, I have insufficient information about zoological studies in this field, but I don't think it's as simple as you make it sound (this isn't intended to be hostile, I'm just wondering)?

As for the last part, I certainly don't presume to define sexualities as fitting strictly into one of the boxes of culture, identity or inborn orientation. I'm sure that there are more perspectives on this than I can imagine, and I'm equally sure that the experiences of these queer people are valid.

Mainly, the reason I decided to answer this despite it being a non-answer, as you said, is because I do have something to say.

I'm not in the habit of forming opinions of subjects that I have insufficient information about. I know that being seen as neutral is often vilified. I've been in that position, being angry about people's neutrality regarding topics that to me seem obvious. I no longer agree with past-me on that stance.

I would rather not, in my ignorance, cause damage. I think that people with very strong uneducated opinions cause a good deal more harm than those who stay silent in a conflict they know nothing about. Of course this won't be true in all cases.

But personally, I prefer handing the mic over, as it were, to people with more experience, knowledge, sensitivity and perspective about the issue than I.

So, yes, I'll have to go with a very unambiguous lack of an answer here. I simply do not know enough about this, anon. Non-answers, I'm afraid, are going to be inevitable in deeply personal discussions such as these. These non-answers are invariably better than the divisive discourse, invalidation and gatekeeping that occurs a lot.

Let's all be a bit more okay with saying I don't know. I'm trying to be more okay with it every day. I cannot educate myself perfectly about every single relevant topic. I think that's alright. I hope it is.

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

happy pride month to my followers! to celebrate here are my gender/sexuality headcanons for people i write for:

matthew murdock, my beloved: bisexual and trans masculine

not because that’s what i am. definitely not.

karen page: lesbian (perhaps transfem)

i have this headcanon that karen is at least a lesbian and she doesn’t realize it until she moved to new york and had a lesbian situationship with a girl who has crazy dyed hair

but also transfem karen <3

foggy nelson: transmasc

I LOVE TRANSMASC FOGGY okay my headcanon is that

1. marci is also trans (t4t)

2. all his life before he came out foggy heard his mom talk about he needs to learn to cook to take up the mantle of the other women in the nelson family but as soon as he came out, she switched to the butcher thing because she’s an ally

frank castle: bro thought he was an ally for the longest time and then like three years into his marriage with maria he was talking about experiences and crushes and stuff and she was like ‘honey pie… that’s not straight’

peter parker: another one (bisexual transmasc)

astarion: pansexual and non-binary

joel miller: ally </3

i have to have one token heterosexual unfortunately i was told i have a quota to meet

alright anyways

this is just a fun silly post! if you’re any type of anti-lgbt, DNI!!!

and have a very happy pride month, and remember— christ without the hrt is just cis <3

[cilil]

"On 6 May 1933, the Berlin chapter of the German Student Union made an organised attack on Magnus Hirschfeld's Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (roughly: Institute of Sex Research). The institute's library included many thousands of volumes on sexuality and other matters relating to its work. The institute also had a substantial collection of objects, photographs and documents including research, biographies and patient records."

[Source, emphasis mine]

"The institute pioneered research and treatment for various matters regarding gender and sexuality, including gay, transgender, and intersex topics. In addition, it offered various other services to the general public: this included treatment for alcoholism, gynecological examinations, marital and sex counseling, treatment for venereal diseases, and access to contraceptive treatment. It offered education on many of these matters to both health professionals and laypersons."

[Source]

Never forget.

Never let this happen again.

[faithandarisadventures]

Gateway to Pride, Part 6/10 July 14, 2024 Missouri History Museum St. Louis, Missouri

[lvvender-fields]

Hi Tumblr! Do you like queer theory? Do you like statistics? Do you like answering questions about your gender and sexuality for the express purpose of gathering and analyzing data?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, please consider taking my survey! It's not super long (about 15 questions: 10 mandatory) and any responses will be super helpful!

[wbqotd]

How common is sex work in your setting? Are there any populations where it’s more or less popular?

[hekateinhell]

Continuing on this, AR on gender and sexuality in TVC:

Anne's vampires exhibited androgynous freedom. The androgyne is a being who reconciles opposites and channels duality into greater power. The vampires achieved this on several levels.

"I've always loved the images of androgyny," Anne said. "They always have an intense emotional impact on me, whether it's a beautiful woman in the opera dressed as a man or rock stars changing and shifting it just gives me chills. I see the androgynous figure as the ideal figure." The relationship between Lestat and Louis, then between Louis and another vampire, Armand, has homoerotic overtones as male and female distinctions become insignificant, since vampires do not engage in genital sex. The new vampire is brought over into a dramatically changed existence with a gender-free perspective.

Anne wanted to write about a romantic relationship that would avoid the cliches attached to heterosexual couplings, and she was also enamored of the image of lovers as equals. "For me," she said, "the most erotic scenes in any book are those that take place between totally equally franchised human beings, so I always find a scene between two men much more erotic to write about or read about than a scene between a man and a woman." Having already written about homosexual attractions, the relationships between her vampires came easily and naturally. Gay populations were "coming out" and becoming a political force, giving Anne momentum.

[...]

Readers were invited to experience the blurred distinctions, raised to mythical heights. Becoming a vampire involved a merging of like minds in a way prohibited to people with fundamentally different perspectives.

Female readers strongly identified with Louis, and later with Lestat, because Anne provided for them a means to experience male qualities that society prizes so highly without a loss of the female-oriented perspective.

Anne was fully aware that women were being encouraged by the burgeoning feminist movement to value their own experience, independent from men, but she told one journalist, "I think I have a gender screw-up to the point that I don't know most of the time what gender I am, in terms of anybody else's thinking." As a result, the vampire imagery that she developed appealed as a sexual fantasy from various perspectives, from a heterosexual exploring a secret but socially forbidden allure in the perspective of another gender to a homosexual finding affirmation. Anne's erotic style gave these metaphors an added touch.

Like, Anne got it. She knew exactly what made her characters so enticing and evocative. TVC has always been such a safe escape for me and for so many others, and I don't know... it's just a comfort knowing that Anne not only supported us, but actually intended for us to blur the lines of gender in her work and play with the fantasy of it all.

[malorydaily]

An examination of medieval dowry practice heightens these public political concerns. Feminist scholars – among them Felicity Riddy, Dorsey Armstrong, and Elizabeth Edwards – have called attention to the obvious but important fact that the Round Table is literally Guenevere’s dowry. This gift actually restores an interrupted male line of transmission, from Uther to Arthur through Lodegreaunce’s daughter, Guenevere. When she comes to court as Arthur’s bride, the new queen brings a powerful marriage portion: the Round Table and its hundred knights. The queen’s dowry thus brings to court men who will serve their new liege lord Arthur, but whose very presence owes everything to the transfer of the queen’s body from her father to her husband.

– Karen Cheretawuk, Marriage, Adultery and Inheritance in Malory's Morte Darthur

[many-but-one]

We saw on your TikTok that you, as a collective, ID as a trans men, and we are figuring some stuff now too, it got to a point where we are experiencing terrible headaches while trying to find a concrete solution… it’s hard. Due to autism we want a proper answer, like, black and white, yes or no, but it’s too strict for us. (So, for now we choose to use “genderfluid”/“bigender”)

Can you share more info about it? Like, how other parts are feeling themselves if they have a different perception of themselves, experience GD differently, etc? If you are comfortable, of course, no pressure, we hope we didn’t cross any boundaries.

Have a good day!

The Phoenix Sys

Hi Phoenix Sys,

Gender dysphoria has been something parts have struggled with since basically forever. Even pre-dx, our host would notice sometimes that gender dysphoria would be all over the place. It led them to IDing as non-binary or genderfluid for a long time. Even now, if we are around other queer people who understand the nuance of genderfluidity, we often use that label so we can get away with our changing pronouns without having to come out as a system.

However, in more professional settings or around people who are less educated about the nuance of gender (which is most people in our life) we ID as a trans man. Mainly because the dysphoria our guys feel is much stronger than the ones our ladies feel. If the male alters are fronting and they get clocked and called she/her, this is much more difficult for them than when a female alters is adequately passing and gets called he/him. I think even the most hyperfeminine alters (like Jade for instance) don’t really care about getting clocked as a man because 1) being perceived as a man has helped us avoid harassment. (You’d be surprised how much less often we get catcalled or flirted with by weird dudes when we don’t look overtly female) and 2) she is so confident in her identity as a woman that she knows who she is, even if strangers don’t see it. The most important person/people in her life know she is a woman no matter how masc we present and that is good enough for her.

As for our guys, they used to struggle a lot more with being perceived as a woman. They wanted top surgery and wanted to be on T for the rest of their life so they could never be perceived as a woman again. However, upon looking deeper into that, some of them realized that they desperately want to divorce from the idea of femininity because it was due to being female that we were hurt so terribly in the past. Meeting other survivors of similar things who were AMAB helped them realize that our gender had very little to do with us being hurt, and that even if we were AMAB they very well could have done all the things they did anyway. That, and having friends and partners who see them as men no matter how feminine they look externally has helped them realize that they don’t need to completely change the way we look externally to avoid being hurt again. Men and AMAB folks also get hurt in very similar ways, so it would be futile to completely eliminate being female because if bad people wanted to hurt us, they would hurt us regardless of what gender we appear as.

So that led us to deciding to make compromises. The ladies were fine with being on T (and a lot of them actually love having a deeper voice now, we have always found women with deeper or huskier voices attractive), but they didn’t want any surgical changes to be made to our body. And the guys were willing to compromise that if we started T, we wouldn’t do any surgical changes to our body. Some of the guys are still a little bummed about this, but they are still happy they are able to have the voice they want and if we wear masc clothes we often don’t get clocked as an AFAB person immediately anymore. We rarely even have to bind these days for them to feel happy in their skin, which is good! Binding the way we were wasn’t good and if we still did that, there’s no doubt we would cause damage to our body.

Having a black and white answer to “what gender are we?” as a system is nearly impossible, we have found. And releasing the desire to HAVE a solid and concrete answer to gender and sexuality was a big part of us being able to come to the conclusion we did. A large portion of us are butches, some are he/him transmasc butches, some are she/her butches. Some of us are femme lesbians, some of us are as masc as masc can get. Some of us are bisexual, some of us are strictly gay, some are asexual or aroace, and many are still questioning what their queer identity is. Letting us have the freedom to “play in the sandbox of gender and sexuality” so to speak has helped us a lot! Not worrying about what we are collectively and letting us focus on what we are individually has been very freeing for many parts! Collectively we ID as either genderfluid or transmasc (depending on who we are around), bisexual, and polyamorous. It gives us plenty of room to experiment and express who we are without having strict labels to box us in.

I hope this helps! Take care, Phoenix system!

[galacticturnip-art]

AHHHHHH IM SO HONORED AND EXCITED!!! I’m presenting a panel on one of my favorite topics in the whole world! Please stop by if you’re in the neighborhood, it’ll be fun 💖 and inspiring I hope!

If it’s recorded I’ll post a link :)

[moonlightsapphic]

Fun little ways I relate bisexuality to T Swift songs!*

*not claiming she’s bi for sure or anything! I just love her music and I’m bi so I like connecting to the lyrics by relating it to my personal experiences!

‘tis the damn season and dorothea are really queer to me. I love to think of the pairing as sapphic, but reading your post made me think of a bi4bi woman and man and that’s just incredible sweet haha. cowboy like me always reminded me of Puss in Boots x Kitty Softpaws (it’s comical I know), and that’s the most bi4bi straight-passing pairing ever.

willow is explicitly about a man but damn. Not sure if it’s the folk-y genre but the queer vibes are immaculate. Dress is my demisexuality anthem, I always fall for people who I initially met as friends and the attraction gets so INTENSE. mirrorball, Labyrinth, Sweet Nothing, peace, right where you left me and the lakes also give me anxious queer girl vibes. Glitch, to me, definitely has bi girl in an situationship with a straight man that she’s actually falling in love with kind of atmosphere.

The Very First Night, Gasoline, I Can See You and Maroon gives sapphic bisexuals to me, though I do believe they are in part (if not entirely) about men. And I just think that’s neat, that the narrator in the songs has such a queer approach to her relationship regardless to the gender of the muse. Not even all songs without pronouns can pull that off so well.

Vigilante Shit is incredible to me because it’s like she’s stealing someone’s ex-wife. (Also “I don’t dress for women, I don’t dress for men …”) It has hardcore badass bisexual written all over it. And every time Taylor sings “To tell you the truth, sometimes I wish I was her,” in When Emma Falls in Love, I can swear what the song is actually, unbeknownst to herself pining for is to date Emma herself. It feels like Taylor’s own subtly homoerotic version of Lacy by Olivia Rodrigo, or Heather by Conan Gray. There’s this playful genderbending thing Taylor does when singing the chorus of Question…? which also reads as very much a bisexual gaze to me.

[croziers-compass]

New Sexuality: Doomed Arctic Explorers Gender Identity is now based on your positions aboard the ships.

[spiralhouseshop]

New in the Catalog!

Shotgun Seamstress: An Anthology by Osa Atoe

Shotgun Seamstress: A Fanzine by and for Black Punks" is a collection of all eight issues of the fanzine, created between 2006 and 2015. The fanzine was founded by Osa Atoe, inspired by the experience of being the only Black person at a punk show. It serves as a platform for Black punks to express and represent their full range of experiences and to explore the possibilities of Black identity, rather than being limited by mainstream definitions. The fanzine features essays, interviews, historical portraits, reviews, and more, honoring musicians and artists who embody free Black expression and challenge the notion of Black culture as monolithic. It also showcases a diverse range of gender and sexuality, including figures such as Vaginal Cream Davis, Death, Poly Styrene, Brontez Purnell, Rachel Aggs, Alvin Baltrop, and Mick Collins. The layouts of each issue are reproduced as they were originally hand-photocopied and distributed in small batches.

1.26" H x 10.26" L x 7.26" W (2.43 lbs) 368 pages