#Game name idea: Good Gotham Goon

[brucewaynehater101]

Gotham Horror Video Game AU: You Play as a Goon

There's four main storylines based on which boss you choose to work for:

Joker, Black Mask, Falcone, or Two Face

Your objective is to survive the various encounters, make your boss happy enough, and not get caught by the Bats. The end of your storyline occurs when your boss gets arrested or they pull off their scheme

The more your boss is pleased, the more they know your name. That's a double-edged sword. Your boss is not safe to be around

Some encounters are by chance: Solomon Grundy, Killer Croc, Harley Quinn, Catwoman, etc. are either neutral or enemies. Sometimes rumors, newspapers, and radio discussions will clue you in on where they lean. Sometimes, they are just having a good or a bad day. Whether they kill you, leave you for the police, or leave you alone is up in the air.

Some cops, the ones your boss points out to you, will look away from your crimes. Some will immediately kill you. Some will fulfill their job description and arrest you. You only know the ones that are on your boss' payroll. All other cops are a gamble.

If a Bat finds you, you're probably going to jail. It's terrifying because they appear out of nowhere. One minute you're alone, the next you're already beaten to a pulp. There is no winning a fight against a Bat. Only luck and a distraction may allow you to escape (the lower level of a goon you are, the higher the chance you won't be pursued).

Some encounters are just nightmare fuel: Scarecrow, Mad Hatter, JJ Gordon, Professor Pyg

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

Hi I literally goshed over how cute the dog ask was! So I came up with an idea for part 2 how would the riddlers react to ether there hench men or another members of the rouges gallery making there dog an Instagram account and said dog becoming Instagram famous with over 1,000 followers ps I luv your writing

"Riddler's with Dogs Pt 2" Riddler Party Ask

I'm glad! This is definitely in my Arena so I'm happy to give more! After this one I have a cat ask for riddlers too, so look forward to that. And thank you for the praise <3 Part one is here!

TW: None

Gotham

It was Victor. Victor would have done it for Penguin's dog Edward but then his boss would have gotten all pissy and it wasn't worth it. What's Edward (the human) going to do when he takes pictures of Oswald (the dog) for Insta? Riddle him to death? Try to outshoot the shooter? Please.

Edward and Oswald (the human) hang out often enough for Victor to sneak video and pictures of the little guy. He documents care videos of things Edward does for "records" when Oswald (the dog) has to be taken care of by others. Really, he's posting them on Instagram.

Once Edward finds out, he's frustrated and demands for Victor to take it all down since it's not even his dog! That is, until Victor is showing off the numbers Oswald (the dog) is doing. One of his most popular photos is a candid pic of the dog in Oswald (the human's) lap snoring when Edward was away one weekend.

....He can't deny it makes him a little happy to see the positive comments and likes on all these small, innocuous moments that otherwise would have been taken for granted. Victor can keep it up. For now. But there's definitely going to be high end glamor shots added via Edward himself.

60s

one of the younglings had to introduce him to the concept. Always on her tiny phone snapping photos of everything including Pascal. Then one day she's trying to explain what Instagram is. So it's like a digital photobook. That sounds adorable, but really, is it relevant to anything?

She then points to the number of followers and says that's the amount of people who want updates about Pascal and his antics. Edward brightens at the thought. Wait, there are comments? Oh, would you look at that, they love him!

Edward is like that happy, dorky uncle who now wants to be included on the photo taking. What's the perfect cinematic shot? The Instagram game turns to short videos, which then turns to tiktok shorts once he's shown how to do that... Pascal ends up getting a fancy riddler suit jacket of his own with the proceeds.

Imagine you're a hostage in 1960s Gotham. The Riddler has overtaken the event with his goons. There is a corgi in a question mark themed suit. One of the goons is filming the corgi shaking his little hips as he walks. Riddler poses a question for the audience at home. This is going to take hours if Batman doesn't arrive quickly.

BTAS

Query and Echo did it. They aren't a constant presence like they were at one time, but they still appreciate the occasional team up with their favorite man in green. And they fall in love with little Curie.

They tease him for trying to retire and "settle down" with his dog... As they take pictures and video with filters of her in her little fashion coat. Echo jokingly makes the Instagram at first as they're all a little tipsy on wine. Then both of them post pictures and videos of her with Edward in the background.

Then... Oh, shit. This got bigger than they ever planned. Sure, cute animals are popular but- Edward isn't mad when he finds out. In fact, he's amused and downright smug. Of course she's popular, look at her!

He ends up making a small video game with her as the star. Hey, don't blame him for making profit off of a popularity hype. It's a good game, brings in honest money and puts his name back on the market. Win-win in his opinion.

Zero Year

Despite being notorious for not playing well with others, he has to have some goons later on to help with the heavy lifting. One of them ended up being good with Minerva so Edward thought, what the hell, they could clean up after her when he's busy. What he didn't realize is the guy ended up taking photos and posted a few of them online. That curly tail is to die for!

Edward caught the man on his phone looking at photos of Minerva and found the account with less than 100 followers. Photos that were fine but not great. So he took over the account immediately.

He immediately decided to up Minerva's aesthetic game. High quality photos, photo shoots, cosplay- Yes, cosplay. The amount of followers bumps up past 1,000 within a couple weeks. It doesn't help he messed with the website algorithm. Just a little. Everyone WILL appreciate his dorky beautiful dog.

Arkham

The one time he decided to actually hire people instead of just robots to do his bidding, and they do this. First, one of them decided to show off his doggie grooming background and freshened him up. Unnecessary! Asimov was fine! Then he's getting messages from Harley of all people telling him his dog is online and famous.

He corners his henchpeople who shrug saying it was a fluke. Passing the time when they wait around for orders! People love the one-eyed little creature. And they love seeing Edward show rare soft moments towards him.

People call his dog ugly-cute and he's offended on behalf of Asimov. Asimov is perfectly fine the way he is. He's not ugly! Someone has to explain that's a good thing and he scoffs them off.

At some point he gets tired of having henchmen around in his space and boots them to the streets. Then he hacks into the account and changes the password and authentication so the account can stay up. If he remembers he'll throw videos up, usually of Asimov doing tricks showing how smart he is.

Telltale

Funny enough it's his buddy Catwoman who does it. Selina KNOWS an Instagram worthy pet when she sees it. And this puppy is CUTE. Plus she's probably one of the few people he'd allow in his space besides Bane and actually trust. Bane is also in several pictures with Columbo. He knows the show, it was one of the few things that would ever play on the one shitty, shitty TV in the prison he grew up in.

She's delighted to tell him once the account gets popular. He scoffs and doesn't believe it until she shows him the numbers.

He supposes people have good taste about the pain in his ass. Then the memes start where they compare the riddler's dog to the TV show detective he's named after. He says how ridiculous they are and how people should use their time better, but Selina catches him giving a sensible chuckle at them often.

2022

Let's be real, he started the Instagram account. He figured his followers could go see pictures of her when he's not streaming and she's in the background. What he didn't expect was a flurry of other followers that have no idea who is is, but want to see more of wiggly Ava. It's enough to make him anxious.

The pictures aren't the best or the quality of videos but she's just so delightful and when he opens up about her story, it garners even more views. There's something so genuine about the presentation.

He tries to get some overlap into his Riddler persona but it doesn't work out. Batman follows the Ava account. Just to make sure there aren't any secret messages there. That's it. Absolutely not because the dog is adorable.

[pinkiepiebones]

can i hear about your interpretation of victor zsasz??

The easiest thing to do would be to dig through my archive searching the Zsasz tag there... But like if you want some Greatest Hits of mine...

- Victor Zsasz is an irredeemable monster. Honestly had it not been for Danny Jacobs’ superb voice acting in Arkham City I would not care about this character and rage about his squandered potential like I do.

-I pick and choose what I accept as canon because he is so mistreated as a character. I accept all that Alan Grant and Norm Breyfogle did, as they created Zsasz. They were his fathers. I think they would know best. They originally created Zsasz to be Gotham’s Hannibal Lecter- an unnervingly shrewd, intelligent, and abhorrent creature in a man suit. Also other Important Things like

1) Zsasz hates guns. He considers them clumsy, noisy, and he hates the smell of them. He only uses a gun when he does not have any other sort of weapon available.

2) Zsasz is canonically the only villain who can sneak up on and take Batman by total surprise.

3) Zsasz has killed hundreds. The GCPD can only positively link him to around two dozen murders.

4) Zsasz is incredibly manipulative.

5) Zsasz is incredibly dangerous- in his DEBUT ISSUE he is denied soap to wash his hands because he can kill with it. He can’t feed himself because the last time he had a fork he paralysed an orderly. He’s led around with hooked poles by armed guards. His therapy sessions are conducted when he’s safely locked in a metal tube, which is locked inside a cage, and Dr. Arkham is seated six feet away.

6) Zsasz is incredibly strong- again, as per Grant and Breyfogle, he does isometric exercises when locked up. He lifted a doctor and crushed her windpipe with one hand.

7) Zsasz’s tally marks are tally marks. I do not understand why this is so hard for artists who use him in their runs. His scars are not randomly slapped on; they’re methodical and orderly.

- I personally think he has the potential to be such a more interesting foil for Bruce Wayne/ Batman than the fucking Jonker. Both Victor and Bruce were psychologically damaged by the loss of their parents- Bruce when he was a child, Victor when he was an adult. I sometimes find myself wondering things like: Did the Waynes and the Zsasz know each other? Were Bruce and Victor friends? Does Bruce ever express empathy for what Zsasz is now? Where the fuck was Victor’s support network? Etc. There’s so much unexplored land out there but no let’s spend another 87 specials and movies and action figures and art shows and shirts and on the fucking Jonker.

- The honest to goodness canon information on Zsasz is so scant I made up... a Lot. Like the names of his parents, for one.

- Zsasz fucking hates the Penguin so much are you kidding me. Fucking Gotham show ... The Penguin is the reason Zsasz exists as the monster he is. Zsasz is saving a place for Penguin’s tally mark. Honestly I love the idea that Penguin is scared shitless at the prospect of ever meeting Zsasz* and will frequently put out hits on him.

* (I know, I know, in Arkham City, in Penguin’s museum, you can find the display in which Zsasz was placed. You think Pengu put him there himself? Fuck no, dude’s got goons. Jeesh.)

- When able, Zsasz stalks his victims to gauge whether or not they are “worthy” of receiving his “gift of salvation.” In the Arkham Asylum game, in his Patient Interview tapes, that is basically spelled out. He’s talking to his doctor and he starts asking about her life in that disarming, lilting cadence of his- “... As you take the three flights of stairs up to your apartment, as you unlock your four locks, as you realise you forgot to buy the cat food- again- as you curl up in your favourite red chair, cat on lap, you find yourself wishing something would happen... I can be that something, Sarah. I am your salvation.” CHILLING.... Doctor Sarah is understandably put on leave, which prompts Zsasz to slaughter his guards and escape. The final bit of the last tape is the replacement doctor realising Zsasz will go after Sarah and calling her in a panic. Sarah answers and you hear knocking. She says “oh, hang on, someone’s at the door” as the other doctor is yelling into the phone “SARAH! IT’S ZSASZ!”). Honestly those tapes and Danny Jacobs never got the accolades they deserve. As I said above, Jacobs’s work is the REASON I love this horrible character.

I could literally go on for ages but I’ve got dishes to wash so. Yeah.

[ask-maxie-boy]

"I think its a good idea."

"Dick have you gone insane?!" Tim gives him a harsh glance over his mug, much less interested in the laptop he had been looking at.

"We go under cover all the time!" Dick nonchalantly argues, putting his feet on the coffee table. "Infiltration is part of the game! How is this any different?"

"How is this- Dick, its the Goon Union! Yknow, the union of people whos faces we've been beating in for the past… however many years!"

[This is part 2. Part 3 can be found here]

"And stealing bones"

"And stealing bones, thank you Damia- wait what?" Tim looks to where Damian was standing, only to see empty space.

"Aw c'mon Timmers, it'll be fun! I hear they have tee-shirts and baseball caps"

"Dick, if you come back wearing a Goon Union-"

"Goonion"

"A Goon Union baseball cap, I swear to god."

"its just recon! I'm not actually gonna join the Goonion." He waves a hand dismissively, while Tim's eye twitches in annoyance. "Besides, Bruce said he wanted more information, right? What better way than from the horse's mouth?"

"He wants more information on Danny, the unknown meta who we still cant find legal identification of any kind for."

"You really think I'm not gonna get a DNA sample while I'm there?"

"Considering what happened after my interview? Yeah, I dont think you are!"

Dick got his feet off the table, and sat up a bit straighter. "...What happened after your interview?"

"Well, I got some hairs, got a stealthy blood sample"

"As you do"

"And when I went to check them out, all I found was a note in my pocket that says 'consent is king' and a little frowny face."

"Oh so he caught you. Nice try Timber."

"They were still there 30 minutes after Danny had left. I didn't lose them until I was in the cave"

"...Oh. Shit."

"This is serious, Dick! What if our identities are compromised?"

"Well, in section C23 of the Goonion Handbook, it says that revealing legal names of other goons, regardless of importance of the person the name is revealed to, can lead to severe penalties."

Tim's mouth hung open. Dick raised an eyebrow.

"Dick."

"Tim."

"Have you been reading the Goon Union handbook?"

"Have you... not?"

"No I haven't been reading the fucking handbook! I've had a legally nonexistent meta who's been stirring up shit in Gotham's underbelly I've been looking for! I don't even know his last name!"

"Daniel James Fenton."

Tim blinks. "...Excuse me?"

"Daniel James Fenton. Its right there on page 2, he's one of the authors." Dick pulls out the cheaply-bound book Daniel had gifted them and flips it open. "See? Right there."

Tim stares at the page, the name clearly printed there mocking him. He reaches for his phone, only to see someone is already calling.

"Oracle."

"Ooh! Put it on speaker phone!"

"Daniel James Fenton, born April 3rd, 1990, in Amity Park, Illinois. Cant find any info on job history, nor a current place of residence. In fact, I cant seem to find anything more than a change of residency, and that was when he was 16. Either someone's trying to hide his existence, or this isn't our guy."

"Anything else interesting?" Tim asks. "Criminal record, notable connections...?"

"Seems like hes got some tow in the wildlife preservation community. Looks like he saved an endangered species by accident for a school project... Oh, here's something. Seems like he has some kind of connection with Vladimir Masters, CEO and Founder of D.A.L.V Co."

"...Dalv co?" Dick asks with a slight grin.

"Yes."

"As in-"

"As in Vlad spelled backwards, yes."

"Fantastic," Tim comments, somehow sounding like he had missed another night of sleep on top of what he's already done. "Anything you can find on that guy, and anything that can be traced back to Danny?"

"Not anything incriminating for either. Theres some talk about DALV Co's shady practices, but despite a fair number of lawsuits none of them ever went anywhere."

"Settled out of court?"

"Nope. Every single one has always ended in favor of DALV Co."

"Thats not suspicious at all."

"Still, we're not here for him. Other than the godfather connection, I cant find anything that would say he and Daniel have been talking."

"Damn. Another lead down."

"I'll keep looking, and send something if I find it."

"Thanks Oracle!" Cheers Dick, "You coming for dinner soon?"

"B's calling. Oracle out." The line goes dead.

Dick sinks back into the couch again. "Coward. She just doesn't want to admit she misses Alfred's cooking."

"And you dont want to admit that joining the Goon Union is a terrible idea," Tim counters.

"Goonion. And I know it is! Thats why I want you as backup!"

"No, I'm not joining the Goon Union!" Tim slams his mug onto a coaster.

Dick grins. "Would you rather me bring Damian?"

"I'd rather you not go at all!" Tim says, pinching his brow.

"It doesnt seem like your other leads are getting you anywhere."

"I would enjoy the opportunity to learn more techniques for submission, something the Goonion has offered for no cost."

Tim is a robin. He has trained for years. Tim does not flinch. "Damian, please don't bring your swords to the Goon Union."

"Daniel said he would be fine with it. They are 'tools of the trade,' as he said."

Dick puts an arm around Tim. "Cmooonnnnn, it'll be fun! Plus, imagine the look on B's face when we come to him with the union rep and like. Demand fair compensation."

"We are not Suing Batman as a Joke!"

"Why, because its money laundering?"

"Because its BRUCE, Dick!"

"I think Father could stand to listen to us more often. The power of collective bargaining-"

"Yknow what!? Fine. We'll go to the Goon Union-"

"Goonion" Dick and Damian cut simultaneously

"Goon Union meeting. But if any of us end up with a crowbar across the face, don't blame me."

Damian's eyes darken. "If someone were to attempt to strike me with a crowbar-"

"You will NOT retaliate, Damian! We will be in the heart of the enemy, we cannot possibly take on all of them."

"I can."

"He probably could."

"Not helping, Dick!"

@akikkobara @thegatorsgoose @addie-lover-of-stories @apointlessbox @screamingtofillthevoid @semiprofessionaldumbass @sailor-goddess @malice-of-the-sunrise @savaton

Danny Fenton goon union representative (dp x dc fanfic prompt)

At no point in Danny’s life has he ever turned down a challenge, even when he had to deal with opponents bigger than himself. From dealing with everyone from Dash to Vlad to heck pariah dark, he’s learned to take down people bigger than himself. So when he overhears that his nice father of four neighbors has been having some trouble at work and has been unable to get some time off, he figures it can’t hurt to try to help such a nice guy out. And it does go ok, all things considered; I mean, what if the guy’s boss was the penguin, and so what if Danny maybe had to show off some of his less-than-human characteristics to get him to agree to let the guy have some time off? Everything worked out at the end of who cares.

Well, when word gets out that someone is not afraid to go tow to tow with the city’s villains, someone’s bound to either take him out or hire him. And when word gets around that he’s willing to help get better working conditions for Gotham’s goon workers, their union could use a new representative.

So Danny inadvertently gets a new job, wherein he gets to meet many strange characters around the city and help many friendly working-class people with their problems. Interchange the goons help hide Danny from the bat, and his no meta-rule, even if Danny doesn’t know they’re hiding him. But this does cause some problems because people like black mask don’t necessarily want to pay for their goon’s vision care or overtime and refuses to adhere to any of the union’s demands. Danny, for what it’s worth, did warn the guy because, unlike black mask, he has the goon’s respect and knows that they will listen to him, so when he proposes a strike, they readily agree to his suggestion.

And with all of this going down so quickly in the city, both batman and the red hood need to get as much info on this new player before things get even more out of hand. But with all of the normal underground information channels refusing to give them anything, they are forced to schedule a meeting with not only the union but its infamous leader, which is good for Danny because he wasn’t sure how to get into contact with batman anyway. He has some concerns with the level of violence used to take down some goons. And well, when they have no choice but to work in this industry, they should, at the very least, outline a clear code of conduct for all parties involved to ensure the safest possible work environment.

[vexicwrites]

There's Danger in Your Eyes, Cherie - Part 1

Summary: "I distrust Jason Todd the second he steps into my office asking me to work a case. I lose a little respect for him when he calls me 'doll.' But I must admit, I'm intrigued when he dangles prospective payment for my involvement—a chance to corner the elusive and deadly vigilante stalking our city. The Red Hood. Everyone's talking about him, but no one's had the moxie to track him down to put a stop to his rampage.  Until now. I'm going to find him, and I'm going to take him out. I just have to find Frances Seaborn's obsessed ex-lover and give him a talking to, at gunpoint if necessary. But when Frances goes missing, things take a twisted turn, leading me down a back alley darker than I could have ever imagined. As it turns out, Red Hood is the least of my worries."

Part 2 here

Pairing: Jason Todd x Detective Reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: 1930s mob activity mentioned, no explicit violence yet

Tags: @nightwings-circus

Inspired by @gangrenados and a lovely discord chat

Gotham City, April, 1930. 

The sky here was always cloudy, I considered it a good day if it wasn't pouring rain. The clouds were particularly thick and low on the day in question. I'd decided to take on a bit of a personal case, so I was headed into my office despite the fog making it near impossible to see the sidewalk.

My usual clients were the ones the police wouldn't take; battered women they didn't believe and young girls and boys who'd had unfortunate run-ins with unsavory types. I used to pass the more gruesome details along to some contacts with a more relaxed moral code. That all went belly-up a year ago with the worst massacre the country had ever seen, on Saint Valentine's Day no less. After that, I'd been a bit more hesitant to work with that particular crowd. Still, I felt it was important to find the mysterious Red Hood. Maybe it was just my bull-headed determination to beat the GCPD to him. Maybe it was something else.

The current consensus was that the Red Hood was ruthless and killed indiscriminately. There were rumors he was a lunatic who carried around human heads in a bag. I didn't buy it. I had clients come in fairly regularly and tell me the Red Hood had gotten rid of their abusers himself. When I'd looked deeper into it, I hadn't been able to find one innocent man on his blacklist.

That didn't mean he wasn't dangerous, but it did make me feel a bit more at ease with the idea of finding him. Call me crazy but I felt like he might even be a decent fellow. If you could overlook murder, anyway. 

I'd barely sat at my desk when I heard a knock on the door. The frosted glass didn't allow me to see who was there clearly but I could tell it was a man. This immediately set me on edge. The only men who trusted me to do my job were my father and the mob. I told him to come in anyway, against my better judgment.

The man introduced himself with a thick Jersey accent as Jason Todd. The name sounded vaguely familiar, like maybe I'd read it in the paper, but then Jason wasn't exactly a unique name. He was built strong and tall but his face looked young, perhaps early twenties. Then again, his short black hair had a white streak so maybe he was older and just had a babyface. He didn't behave like the goons I usually dealt with. He seemed polite, even took his coat and hat off before taking the seat I offered, though his sleeves were rolled to his elbows instead of buttoned neatly at his wrists. He had a cocky sort of grin but then what twenty-something man wasn't a bit cocky?

"What can I do for you, Mr. Todd?" I said, leaning back in my chair. 

It squeaked, undercutting the cool, unaffected air I'd been trying to cultivate. Most men expected me to be wringing my hands at the thought of trouble, so casual was the way to put them off their game. I prayed he hadn't heard it. This entire interaction was already so uncomfortably off-script that I was in danger of squirming.

"Call me Jason," he said, lips curling up in a knowing grin. He'd heard it. Damn him. "Word travels fast in this city, you know. I couldn't help but overhear you've been looking for a certain outlaw."

"I might be. Am I to take it you're here to help me instead of asking for my help?" I asked, reclining in my seat a little more, trying to relax my posture.

"Figured we could help each other, doll."

I frowned. There was that typical mobster 'charm' I was used to. Nicknames that didn't do me any favors in my job. I didn't hate them all the time, I might even consider it endearing in the right circumstance with the right person, but I was on the clock. He noticed.

"Sorry, don't mean to offend," he said, insincerity in his tone. I didn't care for false apologies. I wanted to cut to the business and get him out of my office while I still had some pride.

"You know the Red Hood?"

The corner of his mouth twitched upward briefly.

"He frequents my establishment. You come by you might meet him."

His establishment. Again I questioned how young he was to own his own business, legitimate or otherwise.

"What do you get out of it?"

He hadn't moved much during our conversation, maintaining a relaxed, overly-confident posture as we'd sized each other up silently. Now that we were into the meat of the conversation he leaned forward, elbows resting at the ends of the arms of his chair, giving me a proper view of the muscles in his forearms. They were built in the way a factory worker's might be, like he did a lot of heavy lifting regularly. Not how I'd expect someone high up in the mob to look.

"I think one of my girls is in a sticky situation. Everyone involved knows me too well for me to get close. I need some confirmation before I put a kibosh on it."

"Awfully kind of you to get involved at all, Mr. Todd. Most people with shady businesses don't care so much."

He grinned, his smile blindingly charming in a way that made my breath catch. 

"We're not all bad, Detective."

I studied him carefully for a moment. He seemed genuine and as far as I knew I hadn't upset anyone in the underworld so worst case scenario he might be lying about Red Hood just to get me to help one of his dames. I couldn't fault him for that really, I'd have helped her regardless if she really needed it.

I agreed and he told me to meet him at his club later that evening as he stood to gather his things and finally leave my office. I wanted to ask more questions but there would be time for that later. I feared if he smiled at me one more time I'd lose any composure and pride I had left.

[themaribatpit]

Jasonette July Day 9: Pixie

Written by: The Maribat Pit  @jasonette-july-event

Prompt: Pixie

Rated: T

(By popular demand, a slight continuation of Game On @aespades, @certainmuffinbagelcalzone.)

A/n: Edits have been made because I noticed the paragraph errors AFTER posting this.

Marinette was really starting to miss the days of working with Chat Noir at that moment, and that was saying something.  “Bugaboo” and “My Lady” were starting to feel more tolerable when she wasn’t being called that every second of the day.  Being called “Pixie” regardless if she was Ladybug or Marinette, was really starting to get old, fast.  For reasons that she could not understand, that’s what Jason insisted on calling her.  Sure, she was a lot smaller compared to him, but that coupled with needing to hang back and let Red Hood and Arsenal deal out the heavier hits was starting to get on her nerves.  She was just as experienced as them, she had a mentor just like they did, and had been saving lives for just as long as they had.  Ever since she had joined them, she thought that she would be fighting alongside a team again.  Now she was either supporting them or using her sewing skills to add improvements to their suits.  She was in good hands, some might say hands that were a little too good.  All this frustrated her to no end because she liked Jason, she would have thought that someone who had been a vigilante from a young age would understand what it felt like to be constantly underestimated. 

“Unbelievable,” she snapped one night as she came home from another mission.  She pulled off her pink flats and threw them across the room as she entered her apartment.  She didn’t even get the chance to use her Miraculous, she was effectively closely guarded bait on that last mission.  She slumped on the bed in frustration and Tikki hovered over to her, her antenna drooping in concern.  “Some days I want to wipe that smile off of that stupid face, just to prove I can.” Marinette grumbled into her pillow.  She didn’t hate Jason, she knew that there was some good in him.  Roy was the more optimistic and cheerful of the duo, like Jason, he had also been mentored by a more experienced hero.  Jason was a lot more reserved and cynical by comparison, though he wasn’t a complete Ice Prince like his brother Damian. 

“Maybe it’s because they’ve been doing this for a little bit longer.” Tikki suggested, after Marinette complained about it for the umpteenth time.

“Batgirl and Black Bat are only a few years younger than me,” she reminded her, “and there’s no doubt that they could hold their own in a fight.  No one gives them stupid nicknames, just shortened versions of their real names out of costume.” Tikki awkwardly scratched the back of her head.  “I bet you that he barely remembers what my real name is.” Marinette was getting increasingly furious at the thought “it’s always ‘Pixie this’ and ‘Pixie that’. I know I’m shorter than him, but I have taken on giant robot dolls, literal monsters, and I once rode a dragon!” Marinette yelled. 

Marinette throws a pillow at Tikki, only for it to phase through her. “What does he think I do as Ladybug? Create Christmas presents with my Lucky Charm?!” 

 At this very unfortunate moment Jason happened to return back to their apartment with Roy in tow. “What’s got you riled up, Pixie Pop?” Jason quipped after seeing the frustrated look on her face. This was the last straw for Marinette, “Stop calling me that! Does it please you to demean me? Does it bring you joy to fucking bully me day in and day out?” Jason and Roy take a step back from Marinette’s outburst. Marinette continues “I have kept Paris safe ever since I was 13, I didn’t have the World's Greatest Detective or a Robin Hood cosplayer helping me. It’s always you two off saving the day while I’m the distraction. Do I have to remind you that I’ve beaten Robin and Red Robin?” 

 “So have we, right Roy?” Jason says look backwards to Roy. Roy meanwhile was slowly walking backwards with his arms up in surrender.

 “Don’t drag me into this please.” Roy pleaded. 

 Marinette continued her rant, “So why do you keep calling me Pixie Pop like I'm some pet or stuffed animal?” She storms up to Jason and pulls him down to her height by the collar. 

Roy sensed the tension and wanted absolutely no part in making it worse, “You know what? I’m gonna go get us some shawarma.”

Jason looked over at Roy “Really, Roy?” A slight scowl made it clear he knew Roy was essentially leaving him to face Marinette’s wrath.

“All I know is that they are open at four in the morning and I’m hungry, so I’ll be right back.” Roy said, and he left the room.  Just as he thought Roy was out of earshot, Jason heard sprinting down the hallway.  Roy had abandoned him to face the burning blue fire in Marinette’s eyes.

Marinette let go of him, she didn’t need them, she had made that absolutely clear. 

“I’m done,  I don’t expect you to understand what it’s like to be underestimated all of the time.” she muttered harshly, “to always be kept at arm's length, because no one trusts you to do anything right.”

Marinette had no idea just how deep her words cut him, and Jason couldn’t really blame her.  As far as she knew, compared to his brothers, he might as well just be ‘the one with the guns and leather jackets’.  He hadn’t really told her about what had happened all those years ago, he didn’t even like to think about it himself.  Roy was one of the few people who understood what he’d been through. It was true that both of them started out as sidekicks, maybe the red in their costumes helped them stand out from their mentor’s shadows.  Their time as young crime fighters had left their scars. They were blindsided when they found someone who had been a heroine since she was 13, and took to it with the same determination they had when they were younger, more innocent, more naïve. 

 As Marinette flitted around the room, gathering her things, every nerve in Jason’s body was screaming at him to stop her.   He reached out and grabbed her by the arm, trying not to think about just how small it felt around his hand.  “Look, I’m sorry,” he began. What could he say to her? That he knew exactly what that felt like? That the last thing they wanted was for her to end up like them?  That every hit they took in a fight was one that she wouldn’t have to, so that she wouldn’t turn out broken like they were?  The problem was she didn’t see them as broken, she saw them treating her like glass.  If she was put through the same ordeal, Jason had no idea what he would do.  If she shattered just like they did, then in a way, they would have failed her.  If she came out still whole, still brimming with light, then what did that say about them?

 Marinette pulled her arm away, “I’ll show you, then you’ll be sorry” she told him bitterly.  With her backpack in hand and shoes on her feet, she pushed past him and walked out the door.  

 Jason remains staring at the open door, regretting how he had treated her. He grew fond of her during their time together as ‘Red Arse Bug’.  She had a cute face, cute voice and she wasn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. “Stupid, stupid” he says to himself, facepalm at each syllable. Even with the now hostile relationship with Marinette, he knew he had to follow her. He had to stop her from making the same mistakes he did, so that she would not become like him. He put on his helmet and left to search for clues as to where Marinette would go and what she would do.

 Marinette wandered through Gotham city, unsure what to do now that she stormed out of the apartment she shared with Jason and Roy. She felt like everyone belittled her, Selena did, and now so did Jason. She needed to do something eye-catching, to prove to everyone that she didn’t need their help.

As she wanders past the Iceberg Lounge, she gets a spark of inspiration. If she could take down the Penguin single-handedly, nobody in Gotham would doubt her ever again. With unyielding determination she calls out “Spots On” and turns to Ladybug, ready to take on one of the cruelest crime lords in all of Gotham. Ladybug walks up to the front door and kicks it down, sending the door flying and knocking any unfortunate goons behind it. Penguin’s gang whipped out their guns, tire irons, pipes and anything that could count as a weapon and were now charging in to stop the intruder. 

 Marinette swings her yo-yo to wrap around one of the goon’s ankles, before swinging him around crashing him into several others. A guard points his rifle behind Ladybug, she spins around, sending her yo-yo towards the gun and pulling it from his hands. As the guards begin to group up together in an attempt to minimise the effectiveness of her yo-yo, Marinette looks up and begins to smirk. She flings her yo-yo upwards and hooks it onto a chandelier. She yanks it down, sending the chandelier crashing onto the unsuspecting guards. 

 Marinette dusts her hands and proceeds to walk through into the main hall. She proceeds to kick down that door too, she is then greeted by The Penguin surrounded by his gang. “I’m taking you down Cobblepot.” She shouts, swinging her yo-yo as if it was a lasso, preparing for a fight.

 The Penguin stands up from the seat of his large chair. “What are all you idiots waiting for?” He shouts all around him. He points his umbrella at Ladybug, and begins shooting his umbrella gun. “Get her!” The penguin roars, at this cue every gangster charges at Ladybug. 

 Marinette gracefully dodges and weaves around Penguin’s army, knocking each one out one by one. Until only The Penguin remains, she wraps her yo-yo around his umbrella, easily disarming one of Gotham’s most wanted. She walks towards The Penguin, slowly unravelling her yo-yo in anticipation of tying him up and sending him to Arkham Asylum. 

 The Penguin takes out a little remote control from his suit pocket, “It's not over yet.” he snarls and pushes a button. At that moment the entire building shakes.

“Born on a Monday” a voice groaned, followed by another loud thud. “Christened on a Tuesday.” the same voice groaned. Then a giant hand shoots up from beneath the floor, “SOLOMON GRUNDY” roared the giant as it emerged from the floor. 

 Red Hood and Arsenal had been watching the fight from a careful distance outside the Iceberg Lounge.  “Well, she’s managed to take on Penguins goons just fine,” Arsenal observed through the small pair of binoculars,  “she’s certainly had plenty of time to get very creative with that yo-yo”.

Red Hood’s hand was still itching to reach for one of his pistols, ready to jump in at the first sign of trouble. “By the way, how was your shawarma?” he asked sarcastically.

Arsenal looked over at him, raising an eyebrow “Hey, I’m not the one who said the one thing that just made her angrier, you were on your own there.”

“Nice to know you had my back.” he grumbled.

“Oh I do in a fight, you just decided to be an ass and poke the angry girl with a stick.” Arsenal pointed out.

Their banter was interrupted by an earth shattering thud, following a loud groan “Born on a Monday.” At that moment their blood ran cold. Red Hood and Arsenal rushed towards the Iceberg Lounge. Both worried for Ladybug and aware of what comes after that dreadful nursery rhyme. 

 “What are you two doing here? I can handle this.” growled Ladybug as Red Hood and Arsenal arrived. 

 Before either Red Hood or Arsenal could answer, they were interrupted by Solomon Grundy smashing the ground where Ladybug was standing. Ladybug gracefully dodged the punch, grappling onto a ceiling lamp to swing towards Grundy with a kick. 

 The giant grabbed Ladybug while she was mid-air and threw her towards her partners. Red Hood catches her, holding her tightly as the two fly across the room. He shields her from the shock, taking the brunt of the impact as they crash into the wall. 

 Red Hood groans “You okay?” Ladybug looks up to see she was relatively unharmed, but Red Hood had taken the brunt of the throw. Concern visible on her face as she sees Red Hood’s damaged helmet, and the bruised and bloodied face beneath.  

 Their quiet moment together was interrupted by Arsenal's cries for help. Every arrow he had in his quiver wasn’t making a dent in Solomon Grundy. Ladybug decides to cast Lucky Charm in desperation, and swings her yo-yo up. The ladybugs converge to form...a polka-dotted stick of dynamite. 

 “Arsenal!” She called. “Tie this to the end of an arrow, Red Hood and I will keep it busy.” She tosses the dynamite to Arsenal and tells Red Hood to tie Grundy down.

 Ladybug using her yo-yo grabs on to Solomon Grundy’s left arm while Red Hood uses his grappling hook to hold on to his right arm. Leaving Grundy exposed and immobile, giving Arsenal the opportunity for a clear unobstructed target. 

 Arsenal draws and aims the special Lucky Charm Explosive Arrow. The giant zombie growls “Arrow Boy no hurt Grundy.” 

 “Arrow Boy yes hurt Grundy” quipped Arsenal, before releasing the arrow causing a thunderous explosion into Solomon Grundy’s face. The giant slumps, Ladybug and Red Hood quickly release their hold and watch its body fall back into the hole in which it came from. 

 Solomon Grundy’s body lays motionless in the basement of the Iceberg Lounge as the three peer over the hole in the ground, “Let’s get outta here before the GCPD or worse, Batman arrive” Red Hood points to the front door, and the three of them leave the lounge to head back to their apartment.

As the three arrive home, they each find a nice comfortable spot to collapse onto. Jason claimed the sofa, slumped down Roy in the middle of the living room floor and Marinette sat at the dining table. “I vote for a week off.” groaned Roy.

“I second that motion” agreed Jason. 

“I still have design work to do.” Marinette told them, not really looking at either of them at that moment.  She was torn between appreciating their help, and frustrated that she hadn’t been able to handle the situation herself like she thought.

“Still that was one hell of a fight, and hey, you still managed to take on a squad of goons by yourself.”  Roy said, “I’m so proud” he said dramatically pretending to wipe away a happy tear. 

He nudged Jason in the leg, “um, yeah, good work” he said awkwardly, slightly lost in thought. Marinette smiled slightly, before turning her attention back to her little fairy friend perched on the table. 

“So does this mean Red Arse Bug is back together?” Roy asked enthusiastically, Marinette wasn’t really paying attention. 

The name still needed work, for one thing.  For once Marinette felt like her powers were being used in harmony with their abilities, but she wasn’t sure if it was a feeling that she should get used to.  Marinette could still vividly remember seeing Jason’s bruised and bloodied face beneath his helmet.  Jason stood up and walked over to the fridge, looking for ice to dull the swelling on his face.

“Not with that name,” Jason grumbled, not entirely sure if Marinette was willing to stay after their argument.  Someday, somehow, he would tell her the full story of what happened to him.  Right now, that was a whole Pandora’s Box that he just wasn’t prepared to open.  Nestled at the bottom of that box was hope, a hope that no one else would meet that same fate.

“...Lucky Shot?”  Marinette suggested as she carried Tikki over to the sofa and sat down.  Both Jason and Roy looked up, it made some sense, seeing as they both used projectiles and she had her lucky charms.  Jason tentatively made his way back to the sofa, ice pack in hand.

“Sounds better than ‘Red Arse Bug’.” Jason remarked, as he sat back down. 

“Well, let’s see if our little adventure made the news” Roy said, as he reached for the TV remote.  Jason tuned out Vicki Vale’s voice as she reported on the fight that took place at the Iceberg Lounge. 

As Roy slept at their feet, Jason knew if they were going to continue working together as a team, they couldn’t keep her in the dark any longer.  

“Hey Marinette.” Jason speaks softly. Marinette's ears perk in surprise, hearing speak her name for the first time. “I’m sorry, for what I said and how we treated you. You’re right.” He gestures to the sleeping Roy on the floor, “Both of us started out as sidekicks, we both grew up in the shadows of Batman and Green Arrow. Both old men with impossibly high standards, everything we did was never enough.”   Marinette listened intently as she shuffled closer to him on the sofa.  “We’ve both been to hell and back, Marinette. Literally in my case.” he explained, Marinette glanced down at Tikki for a moment, as if silently asking if her magic was somehow involved in this.  “But always remember, we have each other’s backs, just like The Three Musketeers.” Jason told her, Marinette giggles at his literary reference.

“Roy’s Porthos, you’re Aramis, I guess that makes me D’Artagnan.” Marinette chimes. Jason loved to see that hopeful smile on her face.  What scared him the most was the idea that something or someone would try and take that away from her.  They couldn’t keep treating her like glass, and they couldn’t keep treating her like a sidekick if they wanted to keep her from making their mistakes.  They were all going to fight like hell to make sure this world didn’t break her the way it broke them.  Marinette leaned in close and rested her head on his shoulder.  He felt her calm even breathing, fanning his neck as she slept peacefully at his side.

[mooniemonstah]

So I created this blog because I needed to make some type of catharsis about how worried I am about Gotham Knights.

 I was so thirsty, desperate for Jason&Dick content. I still am. Seriously, everytime DC waste their BatFam titles on the comics by having D*ck/Babs related stuff and Jason doing whatever shit on other teams I sigh and ask myself why can’t we just have one short run, just ONE with a Jason/Dick team up?! I don’t like Tom Taylor at all, but I was pleased to see at least he was the one that tried to deliver an annual issue with a NG and RH team. It was mediocre and fanservice, I didn’t care that much about the story but it was something... And also it helped me to see other people’s reactions about the Nightwing/Red Hood team up concept, and notice there is some general interest on the idea.

I don’t know why it isn’t exploted more by DC.

I love the Arkham series, I have a very soft spot for Arkham Knight Jason even if the writting on the third game is not everyone’s cup of tea. A BatFam related game that isn’t part of the Arkhamverse is not my dream game come true, but I get the need to introduce a more canon accurate depiction of Robin!Tim Drake so I welcomed the Gotham Knights proyect with open arms.

I wasn’t totally sold out by Red Hood’s design at first but it’s weird to see people hating on this just now, when Jason’s face was introduced back in the first trailer they delivered:

The designs are not a concern for me personally anymore. It’s the animations, the clunky combat, the magic lazarus pit jump especially while playing with Jason. It doesn’t seem to be well executed at all.

In regard of the combat aspect, there should be a better balance between his hand on hand combat and guns. It doesn’t matter to me if they’re lethal guns or not. In the Arkham games is hard to believe there are no goons dying when you have Batman and Nightwing stamping their faces on the electricity connection boxes around the rooms, just for name an example. If the brutal hand on hand fight were well animated then people wouldn’t bee complaining as much about the logic of the guns.

Rec Hood’s poor hand on hand movements looks so boring in comparison to Nightwing’s constant flips towards the scenary, that makes you wonder why would you choose a character that just stands there shooting people while you can pick the other characters and see entertaining fights. And Nightwing’s flips don0t even look that good. They’re not fluid enough to be believable :C

It’s so frustrating! Because I loved that they showed their team up playthough, and that the new promotional material and concept art is focused on the two of them, and the cinematic scene in the Belfry was good! It was the kind of interactions I desperately wanted to see between them. But the animations are so rough, even when Dick is walking on civies, it looks weird and unnatural. Why?!

I have mixed feelings about the crafting menu stuff but it’s minor in comparison to how generic the rest of the elements seem when put on screen. It also doesn’t help that they canceled the release on PS4 and Xbox ONE... it almost look like they want to fail on purpose.

Can the game be delayed at this point? Does anyone in charge of this proyect really care anymore?

I care, I care a lot and my heart is already broken. I have no hope that this game wll deliver something different when it comes out. I even tried looking for other gaming journalists and gamers’ opinions about the subject, the most optimistic ones to cheer me up but I don’t think this is the game many of us wanted. It smells like soulless corporative business and it sucks.

Remember the Batgirl/Robin playthrough against Mr. Freeze? What happened to that game? How in the world has that game become to the game we saw teased yesterday on May 10th? Maybe that alpha game never existed, maybe that was some cinematic demo especially created for the DC Fnadome two years ago. That would be so sad if proven to be truth. 

I don’t even get this canceling previous gen launch thing from a business perspective either. I live in Argentina, I know NO ONE who has been able to get a PS5 except my brother (and he has been saving money for a long while specificaly for that reason). I can imagine how the situation is wolrdwide, even if the percentage of people that owns a PS5 or Xbox Series S is sure to be much higher on first world conutries. Like, do the WB Montreal studio acutally believe they’re gonna sell that much copies when most people don’t have a a Next Gen console yet?

I guess the only thing I wonder now is if we will ever going to get an Arkham Knight BatFam game after this game crushes and burns? Look, it doesn’t need to have Robin at all, it can be just about Oracle helping Nightwing to track and stop Red Hood on his bloody crusade? Let me have my fanfics.

[peppersonironi]

12, 21, 19

(Is this late? Oops. Sorry!)

12: Favourite character to write about this year

Stephanie Brown, easy. She's my spirit animal, so I might be doing a touch of projecting, but I honestly don't care. She's just pure chaos in the best way. Some of my favourite lines that I've written are for her. Such as:

"What's up bitches? I brought donuts!"

"My waffles await!"

"FEAR ME!"

"Welcome to Steph’s Glitter Bomb Palace, Where Snitches get Stitches™! So don’t tell Bruce or I’ll sic Jason on you."

She's also the character I've gotten the most comments on. People really seen to enjoy how I write her!

A close second would be Duke Thomas. Bliss, a fic I wrote for the 2020 Duke Week, was one of my favourites! Or maybe Damian? His dialogue just comes easy to me.

21: Most memorable comment/review

the batfamily exist:

everyone: is,,is that allowed?

On Code Orange (Batfam/Young Justice Crossover)

*Or*

I have wanted to read a DCU/MCU crossover for a VERY long time. This story is such a delight. Your characterisation (and for me an introduction to The Signal) was fascinating in the extreme. I loved the game playing and the fact that I could watch (open-mouthed) as Bruce Wayne enjoyed childlike fun with his children and Alfred(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) was the cherry on top of the icing on top of the cake. I look forward to your updates in a way that you wouldn't believe.

On Batfam/Avengers Crossover

19: Any new fics to start next year

Oh boy. So many. You know what? Here's a list. It'll be good to get these ideas out. Plus, you guys can tell me what you'd rather see first!

Gen/just Batfam

Crack fic based off this piece of dialogue (came from a convo between my sister and I): Tim reached forward and poked Duke's face. "You're right!" He exclaimed. "You really *do* squish like a block of wood!" Duke Centric.

Based on THIS Incorrect Quotes. Talia moves into the Manor because she's sick of Ra's. Featuring a bunch of good mom!Talia.

Based off THIS Incorrect Quotes. Jason runs for President as Red Hood. I have so many ideas! This'll be really fun.

Loosely based on THIS post. It explores Jason and Cassandra's relationship, and how it evolves.

Duke Thomas Big Bang Fic (can't say much, but it'll be great!)

Platonic (need to be certain you understand that. There were some misconceptions w/ my Discord server) Slow Burn between Tim and Damian. At the beginning the absolutely despise each other. But over time they realise their own insecurities, and how they don't actually hate the other. And by the end they fully admit and embrace their being brothers.

Reverse Robins with Damian as the oldest (I made THIS post talking about it a while back. But I've highly revised it.)

Reverse Robins with Duke as the oldest (I wrote THIS fic, but I think I want to change this into a series!)

Cassandra as Batman. Stephanie as Catwoman. Carrie Kelley as Robin.

5 Times Bette Kane was the mastermind behind the batkids' pranks without Bruce's knowledge, and 1 Time her brilliance was brought to light.

5 Times Duke thought that he couldn't possibly get any more siblings and 1 Time he met the cousins (AKA: Duke meets the extended family)

Birdflash

Birdflash in the JL/JLU universe (based off that one hexagon by @novaviis ! Super fun!). The league is inviting potential members to the Watchtower one day. Except Wally wasn't there during the choosing of said members. So he's completely shocked when his husband Nightwing shows up. They have to act like they don't know each other, which basically involves Dick flirting his butt off with Wally, Wally trying desperately to remain professional, Bruce digging in the corner, the rest of the League in varying degrees of disapproval and confusion (at least a couple have seen Wally's wedding ring. So that adds a while 'nother layer).

Young Justice soulmate au. Dick, and eventually everyone else, knows that Wally is his soulmate. Wally is oblivious. Lots of pining and angst in this one. Slow burn to an extent (depends on how long I make it). But definitely a happy fluffy ending in sight!

Batfam Meets Young Justice

THIS fic.

Duke gets yeeted into the YJ universe, and promptly passes out. He wakes up in the Watchtower, and breaks out of the confinement the Team has set up for him. Pulls shenanigans (some unwittingly) and used his powers. The Team and JL are confused, and panicking. Because this guy keeps muttering things about the Batfam. And he has a bat on his chest.

The Team break into some ancient temple after getting info on a new Supervillian plot. They find purple clothed woman draped across a throne. She talks, and they panic, as she knows all their secret identities. The only one who isn't, is Tim. He looks bored. Alternatively: Steph needs Tim's credit card to take his sister out on a date, and absolutely refuses to text.

While the Team is on a mission to stop Lady Shiva, a dimensional portal opens up and spits out a strange Robin (Damian) and what seemed to be a female Batman (Cass as Black Bat). This new dynamic due promptly defeats Lady Shiva and all the goons. The Team is freaked out, and 'apprehends' the dimensional anomalies, bringing them back to the Watchtower. Where the due promptly break and and start chaos. Featuring "Toxic" by Britney Spears. I will not explain why.

The Watchtower gets a sudden emergency message from the Batcave. They accept, to find a stranger calling himself Signal panicking about Robin being missing. They all look at Tim, who ignores them, and says that he doesn't know where Robin is. Some naming shenanigans occur.

(Not sure if this fits here, oh well) Set in Season One, Bruce is tired of Clark's attitude towards Superboy, and adopts the clone himself. Not sure how far this'll go, but at least goes through Dick's time as Robin. (Based on THIS Tumblr post)

(Also iffy on placement) a continuation of one (not sure which? Probably Damian as older) Reverse Robins fics. It's a retelling of Season One of YJ, with Dick as Robin. Nightwing (Damian) feels protective of his brother, and so takes on the role Black Canary had in the show, training the Team. But as time goes on, he ends up being more of a big brother to the group. Cameos from the rest of the Batfam as well! And an Identity Reveal (including finding out Dick and Dami are brothers) at the end!

Batfam Meets the Justice League

Cass takes over being Batman for a bit, because Bruce was an idiot and broke his leg. This happens to line up with when the Justice League reach out to the Dark Knight, in order to extend an invitation to the league. They eventually meet Bruce as Batman, and are confused as to why he is so tall. And male.

Joyfire

Lian accidentally reveals her three parents' relationship by calling Bruce 'grandpa' over dinner.

Museum Heist

THIS fic

Operation: Seduce Nightwing. Based on a post for an ATLA ot3, Wally and Artemis realise silumaneously “Hey, we kinda have the hots for Dick” and decide together to see if he likes them back. Which involves a heck ton of over the top flirting, and shenanigans. The Team is sighing on the sidelines at their idiocy. Dick is internally combusting and thinking “Do they like me back? I’’m not sure.” 

5 times Dick and Wally fought over being the middle spoon, and one time Artemis had had enough.

Set in Season 3 (but ignores some canon), Bart is kidnapped by some mad scientist obsessed with the Speed Force. The Team mobilizes, and gets Bart back from the evil base. But when they get there, they find Wally West freed from the Speed Force. He and Artemis reunite, and everyone is happy. They prepare to leave. Then the Pick-up Squad arrive in the bioship, and Dick gets out. Everyone is expecting Dick to give Wally a hug, because hey, he's his best friend! What they weren't expecting was him to run forward and pull the speedster into a passionate kiss. They go back to the Watchtower, and some more stuff happens.

Soulmate AU where the first thing your soulmate says to you after they fall in love with you is tattooed on your body.

Post Season Two Get Together. Starts with Artemis living with Dick as opposed to Will. Might be Slow Burn? (They come pretty close to kissing) Eventually Wally comes back. Arty and Wally are back together. They both live in the same house as Dick, for convenience. Then some more Slow Burn happens. Maybe some Birdflash moments. Arty tells Wally she kinda had a thing for Dick. Wally admits the same. Maybe a touch more Slow Burn. They Eventually get together.

Batlantern

AU where Bruce met Hal back when he first came back to Gotham. Fic goes through how their relationship evolves over the years (up until current time, when Damian is 13). I'm considering a relationship reveal with the Justice League.

Hal's interactions with Bruce's kids.

Green Lantern Corp acting protective of Hal when Bruce comes to Oa. This was an ask that I got, and I'm holding off on writing it till I get as much into on the GL's as possible, as all I know if their characterization comes from that animated series, and Guy Gardener's (Hilarious!) parts on Young Justice.

Marvel

Like 3 different versions of the Peter Parker Field Trip to Stark Tower Trope.

2-part Crossover with the Batfam (they exist in the same universe), where the Avengers go to a Wayne Gala, and interact with the family. The second chapter involves them heading out the next night to try and contact Batman.

THIS fic.

[longitudinalwaveme]

Longitudinalwaveme Reviews Some More Old Comics (and One New One), Part 3

 Batman #353, “Last Laugh”

The Joker walks into his hideout at the abandoned Tatch Hotel, where his goons are gambling. He promptly kills one of them by snakebite for disrespecting him. 

Batman scares a corrupt city council member into revealing that the doctored photos that “revealed” Batman as a crime boss came from real crime boss Rupert Thorne. Apparently, Thorne ensured that Reeves would lose the election...meaning that he wanted Hamilton Hill to be mayor for some reason. 

Also, Gordon is currently not the Commissioner---someone named Commissioner Pauling is, and Batman suspects both he and the new mayor are corrupt. 

The next day, as Bruce Wayne, he accompanies Vicki Vale to the destruction of Gotham Central Station. Apparently, Vicki was witness to an interaction between Rupert Thorne and Morton Monroe that culminated in the latter’s suicide. 

The computer being used to manage the explosions that will preserve the landmark while still clearing space for new development malfunctions has been stolen...by the Joker! 

Because Batman and the new police commissioner are on the outs, Batman hadn’t known about the Joker’s escape from Arkham, and he’s not happy about that. He does, however, quickly work out that the Joker has bought some land in the Palisades under the pseudonym of Mr. Harlan Quinn. (No...seriously!) 

Batman heads to the location in question...only to be caught off-guard by the Joker, who shoots a drugged arrow at him. When he wakes up, he’s tied to some rocks and surrounded by dynamite. 

Joker is upset that Gotham is constructing a statue for a Broadway star and not for him, so he’s going to use the dynamite and the computer he stole to create a monument of himself (and kill Batman). 

Batman manages to break free and jams the computer signal by way of a device he brought with him for that purpose. 

The story is then interrupted for a weird He-Man comic! Hi there, He-Man, Teela, Man-at-Arms, Battle Cat, Sorceress, Mer-man, Beast Man, and Skeletor! And, uh, Superman, too, I guess! Why not? 

I can honestly say I did not expect this Batman comic to contain a Superman/Masters of the Universe crossover where Superman fought Skeletor. 

And now back to Batman, who’s fighting Joker’s goons. While this is going on, the Joker shoots at Batman while his back is turned-only for the explosions to go off. It temporarily creates Joker’s memorial of himself, but it lasts for only a few seconds before collapsing. The issue ends with Joker frowning and Batman smiling in a really unsettling manner. 

The issue also has a backup story, starring Robin and Batman, the latter of whom is undercover as Matches Malone. They work together to defeat some con-men, and Dick uses an inflatable suit to dress up as Batman. It’s pretty amusing. 

Batman #355, “Never Scratch a Cat” 

Why does Catwoman own what appears to be a pet panther? 

Apparently, she’s not happy abut the fact that Vicky Vale is also romantically interested in Bruce Wayne. We then cut to the latter two on a date. 

Their date is suddenly interrupted when Catwoman uses her car to send their car off a cliff and into a river. She immediately regrets it and dives into the water after them to save them.

Bruce fights her off and makes it to the surface with Vicki himself. Two days later, she wakes up in the hospital. 

The police have been staking out Selina’s house, but so far, there hasn’t been any sign of her. 

That night, Batman leaves to track down Catwoman, telling Dick not to come with him as Robin. They have a fairly heartwarming conversation, and then Batman zooms off, leaving Dick and Alfred worried about how angry he seems. 

Batman breaks into Selina’s house...and is promptly attacked by her pet panther. They fight, and he defeats the panther. He then discovers that Selina hasn’t been home for at least 2 days. 

Batman looks through her bills and discovers that she’s rented an apartment somewhere. 

Ex-Commissioner Gordon talks politics with Mayor Hamilton Hill. There’s a petition to remove the latter from his position, since he’s connected to Thorne and Thorne was arrested for murdering his own appointee for police commissioner. Also, Hill makes him commissioner again. 

Batman tracks Catwoman to her new apartment and the two fight, verbally and physically. Eventually, though, they make up and hug each other. It’s kind of weird, but I guess it works.

Flash #324, “The Slayer and the Slain” 

The Reverse-Flash is dead! But the real horror of this issue isn’t that he’s dead or that he died attempting to murder Fiona Webb...it’s the fact that this issue will kick off the Trial of the Flash arc; otherwise known as the Arc That Never Ends! 

Some really weird nurse tells a baby the story of her favorite soap opera...only to lose her grip on the carriage, which goes hurtling towards a pane of glass! Kid Flash manages to save the baby, but not the glass. 

Kid Flash then rushes to what he believes will be the wedding of his uncle to Fiona Webb, changing into a tuxedo along the way. 

Unfortunately, when Wally arrives at the church, there’s no sign of Barry. Dexter Miles, Barry’s friend Mack Nathan, Mack’s son Troy, and Ralph Dibney, the Elongated Man, are at the church, though, as are Barry’s parents and Fiona herself. 

Before Barry’s first name was Bartholomew, it was Barrence. No, seriously. 

Fiona is naturally very upset, believing Barry stood her up at the alter. Henry Allen is less than sympathetic. “Nora and I aren’t ready to give up on our boy just yet, Fiona. And if you really love him...you’re not about to either!” Way to guilt-trip her, Henry. No wonder Barry got along better with Roscoe-pretending-to-be-you than he did with you. 

Barry and the Reverse-Flash have a fight/race around the world, Eobard yelling about how mad he is about Barry trapping him at the end of time for four years. 

Officer Frye and Frank Curtis are also at the wedding. 

Apparently the Guardians of the Universe stopped Wally from helping Barry fight Eobard for some reason. Okay...

Eobard, being Eobard, makes a giant ice sculpture of Iris in the Himalayas just so he can troll Barry. Then they fight some more as all the wedding guests wonder where the bridegroom is. 

While the two are fighting/racing, Eobard creates a big wave at Miami Beach, which Barry has to stop to rescue some swimmers from. 

Captain Frye is starting to believe that Barry’s been murdered. 

Eobard and Barry end up in Cape Carneval and take a rocket into outer space. After they return to Earth, Eobard taunts Barry by writing “Guess who’s going to kill your wife again” in the sand. This naturally makes Barry very, very unhappy. 

Equally unhappy is Fiona, who is now completely convinced she’s been stood up and is leaving the church. 

The wedding photographer pops up over thirty-five minutes after the wedding is supposed to start; conveniently already filming with his camera.

Eobard runs towards Fiona, murder on his mind...only for Barry to grab him from behind by the neck as he shouts “NO! Not again!” 

Barry tries to comfort Fiona to no avail as Frye discovers that Eobard is dead. 

And on that grim note, the issue ends. 

Batman #362, “When Riddled By the Riddler...” 

Why was Riddler working at a winery? Is it just because one of the processes involved in making wine is called riddling it? Whatever the reason, the appearance of a film crew at the winery apparently gives Riddler an idea for his next crime spree.

Batman is summoned to police headquarters, where Harvey Bullock is arguing with Commissoner Gordon. Apparently, Bullock’s working with Mayor Hill, and the Riddler has been sending Gordon puzzle boxes.

This puzzle box prompts Bullock to ask about the Riddler, which in turn prompts Gordon to tell Bullock and the reader about the Riddler’s M.O. and backstory. 

When he finishes the story, Batman finally arrives and kicks Bullock out. He and Gordon proceed to try to solve Riddler’s latest riddle as Bullock eavesdrops on them both from outside the door. The riddle seems to point in the direction of the Mother Goose Amusement Park, but Batman tells Gordon to keep thinking of other possible meanings just in case. 

Bullock plans to outwit Gordon, Batman, and the Riddler, showing an impressive degree of self-confidence (or self-delusion). 

Batman goes to the park and is promptly ambushed by a machine-gun wielding Riddler. 

Then they fight, Riddler escapes, and Batman learns that the amusement park has been closed all season, so it would have no money around to steal. 

Gordon, Bullock, and Batman reconvene to do some Bat Deducting in order to figure out the Riddler’s real plan. Because Batman’s true superpower is his ability to understand the insane ways in which the Riddler uses riddles to plot his crimes. 

Apparently, Riddler is going to steal the loot of a game show being filmed in Paradise Theater. The show in question is called “Enigma”, which is a terrible name for a show filmed in Gotham. It’s beggining the Riddler to show up. 

The Riddler actually wears a suit in this issue! That’s unusual for Riddler at this point, and it looks really good. Of course, he immediately takes it off a few panels later, but still. 

Apparently, the game show consists of getting contestants to answer riddles and...seriously, who decided it was a good idea to film this in Gotham? 

Then the Riddler pops himself out of the riddle drum used in the game show. It’s hilarious. He steals the money and walks out the door, gloating. 

Batman then appears and starts chasing Riddler, who hijacks a bus. Batman follows him and uses gas to force the bus to stop. 

Then Batman literally kicks him off the bus and captures him. 

The issue ends with Bullock deciding to drop the charges he’s managed to get raised against Gordon (after Gordon uses a riddle to threaten him). Hill is not happy about this. 

Batman #373, “The Frequency of Fear” 

The issue opens with Jason Todd having a freaky nightmare about his parents’ deaths (since this is pre-Crisis, the deaths happened at the hands of Killer Croc). 

A really stupid psychologist wants to meet Jonathan Crane so that he can analyze the effects of fear on the human mind. Unfortunately for him, Crane has been released from Arkham, because everyone in Gotham is stupid. Even the stupid psychologist thinks so! 

Meanwhile, a couple of people at Gotham University wonder if they really did see the Scarecrow heading for the old Marston House where Crane once lived. 

Julia Pennyworth, Alfred’s daughter, asks Vicki Vale for a position at Picture News (is this different than the Picture News where Iris West-Allen works?) Vicki is opposed to the idea until Julia insists she’s not interested in Bruce Wayne. 

Apparently, in an earlier issue a number of Batman’s Rogues dragged Scarecrow around while he was mostly incapacitated by fear. He’s not happy about the fact that they did this and is plotting revenge against all of them. 

A guard at the courthouse demands to know why he’s there. In response, Scarecrow uses a skull to emit his fear frequency, and the guard predictably starts hallucinating. He then continues to use the frequency to get the location of the lock-up. He’s then lead the the solitary cell of the Joker.....and then Batman shows up. 

Scarecrow proceeds to use the fear frequency on both him and on Robin, when the latter shows up. Batman manages to fight off the worst of it, but when Jason chases the Scarecrow out of the building and onto the rope Scarecrow was using to escape, the frequency overcomes him, he loses his balance, and he starts falling. 

Batman manages to rescue him, though. 

On an unrelated note, Child Services are worried about the fact that Jason keeps falling asleep in class. 

Gordon and Bullock go out for dinner and have a little chat; Mayor Hill hires a hit out on Bullock.

Meanwhile, Batman tells Crane’s backstory to Robin, who suggests that Crane might be hanging out at his old house. Batman dismisses this, which is unfortunate, since Crane is, in fact, hanging out there. 

Crane is reading his psychology textbook to his little skull head. The man is really weird. I’ll also note that his textbook does actually contain a few words I’m not familiar with, which is impressive. 

Crane then determines that he’ll have to get rid of Batman first if he wants to kill off all the other villains, and goes out to do just that. 

Commissioner Gordon calls in Batman and Robin and tells them that the Scarecrow is attacking a zoo. Batman tells Robin to go home; he thinks the case is too dangerous for Jason. 

Batman goes to the zoo, and is increasingly affected by fear. When he reaches the crocodile pit, the fear is so overwhelming that he loses his balance and starts to fall in. 

Meanwhile, Jason has disobeyed orders and gone to Crane’s old house. The Scarecrow promptly attacks him as Batman falls into the crocodile exhibit....and the issue ends on a cliffhanger. Ooof. 

Flash 2021 Annual 

SPOILERS!

Man, Wally West makes the weirdest faces in this confessional. 

Barry, Ollie, and Mr. Terrific talk technobabble. 

Good news! It turns out Wally’s not a murderer anymore! HURRAH! 

Roy is alive again! YAY! 

Barry and Ollie are also making weird faces. 

Ollie really wants to save Roy from the speed force explosion that will kill everybody at Sanctuary, but Barry says there’s nothing they can do. Ollie doesn’t like this explanation.

Also, Barry’s powers suddenly start fading. 

Wally makes another weird face as he and Roy talk. 

Hey, Savitar’s back! And looking a lot more attractive than the last time I saw him. 

Turns out that he’s been causing all the weird problems with the Speed Force in this arc. It’s appropriate for him, I think. 

Roy and Wally team up to fight Savitar, who goes on a villainous monologue about how he’s going to eat the speed force so he can become it. 

There’s some more technobabble about the Speed Force. Apparently, if they don’t cause the explosion that kills everyone at Sanctuary, Savitar’s plan to eat the Speed Force will destroy the Omniverse. 

Roy ends up setting up the necessary explosion to save the Omniverse. Good work, Roy! 

Aww, Roy and all the heroes are dead again....:(

Oh, well. At least Wally still isn’t a murderer now. 

Wally and Savitar arrive in the present, Wally decides to continue being the Flash, he and Savitar have a fight/race, Wally wins, and Savitar disappears. 

After Wally takes a nap, he and Barry have a cute talk, and Barry gives poor Ollie, who’s been through a lot, a hug. 

Wally goes home and reunites with his family. HURRAH!!!!

Heat Wave’s going to be in the next arc. It’ll be interesting to see how that goes. 

[octalove]

VI: The Dotted Line

(Batgirl/Red Hood)

Description: Jason extends an offer. Part one, two, three, four, and five.

Note: someone said Batgirl and Jason mission, and i am but a humble servant of the people. also, i almost named this chapter “Carolyn Crawford”. Hope you like❤️

TW: Decription of sex work (barely), very light gore

Being back at Batman’s side was a peculiar thing these days. Soothing and suffocating all at once; like returning home after a long, liberating trip. It felt easy, and safe. I was reminded of the first time he brought me up to a towering building top. I clung to Nightwing like a life preserver.

Once I found my footing, the building tops were the only place I felt safe. The taller the skyscraper, the higher and farther from the grim city that raised me. I wondered what would happen when I outgrew the skyscrapers, too.

November was settling like an icy blanket over Gotham. My breath wreathed around me as my chest heaved from scaling the office building I was settled on, hoping to catch a glimpse of the gray dawn as 2am turned to 3am. I could see Robin’s breath too, as he crouched like a gargoyle on the balls of his feet. Even when I pushed his arm lightly, he glared, but didn’t move. The kid had incredible balance.

“I was beginning to enjoy your absence.” He muttered.

I smiled at him. “Are you kidding? Patrol is boring without me.”

“Patrol is boring without brainless plebeians to subdue. I can make due without you.”

“So you’re saying you don’t consider me a brainless plebeian?” I replied.

His lip twitched. He liked this game. It was the birthplace of many of his preferred insults.

“Closer to a bumbling fawn.”

“I like that one.”

Damian’s disinterest in all things regarding my thoughts and feelings was a good distraction. I’d been using him for the past week since my latest brush with Red Hood. Well, Jason. It was still hard to wrap my mind around.

I knew him. He knew me. I shouldn’t have been worried; he knew nothing about me. Nothing other than who I was, anyway. I wanted to ignore whatever residual feeling was left from fighting him on the docks, and I really wanted to say I hadn’t thought about the last thing he said to me. But in truth, I’d thought of little else. The large gaps of time between our meetings left time for that.

We were looking for him tonight. More specifically, Batman and Nightwing were. Robin and I were sent to the quiet apartment rows of Crest Hill, watching over nothing in particular. Sent to keep us away from the fray. Even Robin knew it. When Batman said we’d be patrolling here, he looked like he could rip the head off a puppy.

“Movement in Coventry.”

“On it. Thanks, Oracle.”

One of the better quirks of Damian Wayne was that in the case he was spurned by his favored allies (Bruce, Dick), he quickly formed new alliances (me, Tim). Bumbling fawn comment aside, I could tell I was in his good graces tonight by utter happenstance and Batman’s shortcomings. I was nothing if not opportunistic.

“We can get to Coventry before they can.” I said quickly, keeping the nervous excitement in my voice to a minimum. He eyed me cautiously.

“Batman may be trying not to take risks, but we can handle a couple of goons. Besides,” I added. “Red Hood will probably be gone by then. He always is.” I was overselling it; Robin was already standing, eyes roving over the city scape in search of the best route to Coventry. I stood with him, then let the free-fall adrenaline send exciting jolts through my stomach as we grappled toward our destination.

I could see him, in my mind. His face on the docks, bathed with the flame of his lighter. Hear his voice, full of purpose and noble fury as he promised revenge. I understood his cause, but didn’t understand him, and that was the mystery that poisoned my mind and stole my ability to sleep. Not Red Hood. Jason Todd.

*

Robin and I perched over a factory compound on the water’s edge, Sprang River’s lower fork rushing by at the end of the factory court. A handful of men moved like ants in the flooding white lights that lit the exterior. The wind distorted the sounds of their voices. Robin must have had the same thought because he moved soundlessly to a lower roof panel, advancing on the building. I followed. One man began shouting.

“I’m going to the Northern pylon.” Robin whispered. Divide and conquer. I wasn’t going to argue. I kept my eyes on his silhouetted form to ensure he didn’t encounter any resistance on his way, then worked by way around the court, hoping I could get a good idea of the place before he reached his vantage point. The sky was lightening, and we were losing time.

Just as I was about to check the lot on the opposite side of the factory, a metal door swung open, scraping against the metal parapet. Red Hood walked out, accompanied by a man in a factory jumpsuit. I couldn’t make out their conversation.

I crept along the high factory railing as they meandered across the court, deep in conversation. I kept it up for around six minutes before his companion departed, heading for the lot.

“Robin,” I whispered into my comms. “There’s a man heading toward the parking lot. Trail him.”

“I see him.”

With Robin in the Southern parking lot a safe distance away, I watched Red Hood slowly pull away from the lights and people, heading toward the darker exhaust plants East of the court. It became a struggle to keep and eye on him and my footing at the same time, but I did it. He stopped at a motorcycle parked behind an electric turbine about a klick from the factory. The sky was a pale gray now, ever-lightening with the dawn, and the shadows were burning away with it. I lowered by self behind an electrical box attached to one of the turbines.

“We’re en route- wait, Robin-“ The comms rang in my ear.

“I gave you a direct order.” Batman growled.

“It was a stupid order.” Robin clipped.

“Where’s Batgirl?”

Red was about to replace his red helm with a motorcycle helmet, but paused. He seemed to stall for a moment, before calling out.

“Come here, little bird.”

I was more annoyed than anything. I was ready to be a step ahead of him for once. But then, I couldn’t resent him for giving me what I wanted. I stood, and took in his empty hands before approaching. He’d leaned against the metal turbine, arms crossed as he regarded me with an unreadable expression.

“They’re here, you know.” I warned.

“Call ‘em, then. I won’t move. I know I’m good, but I’d be outnumbered. Bad odds.”

I scowled. “I’m not gonna do that.” I said it because he already knew it. We both did. He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms.

“You thought about what I said.”

“Of course I did.”

He glanced around, then pulled himself up straight and moved toward me. I took a few steps back, prompting him to flash me his empty hands, raised in surrender.

“Relax, darlin’.” He said. “You don’t need to be afraid of me. I don’t want you to be. I want you to understand.”

“How? How do I understand?” I’d been trying for a month. He pulled a small piece of paper from his jacket pocket, holding it out and letting me take it, keeping a safe, considerate distance. Inside, was a number.

“Come with me. One job. Nice and easy.” He said.

“I’m not killing anyone.” I said sternly, voice dropping.

“I’m not askin’ you to.”

“And I’m not standing by and letting you kill anyone.”

“You drive a hard bargain. Fine. We’ll do it clean.” I didn’t even know if I believed him. But I was tired of trying to understand him from a safe, considerate distance.

“We’re almost at location. Four minutes.” Nightwing’s voice almost made me jump. I lifted my eyes.

“You need to go.”

He was already turning on his heel.

*

It was two days before I texted him. I got a glorious three hours of sleep over the course of them, and I kept running down either respective fork in my road before turning around and running back. In the end, I subsided to the fact that I was raised by two business-women, and Jason’s offer was at worst an opportunity. If it all went to shit, and he tried to kill me, I’d at least have some information to present to Bruce, notwithstanding the lifetime of punishment that would get me.

Our rendezvous point was in Lower Gotham Proper. By the time I got there, it was midnight, and a rolling mist had blown in from the harbor, mixing with the smog that hugged the streets and making it nearly unsafe to drive. I silently hoped Batman and Robin were okay.

As I worked my way down a narrow street, the moisture in the air was choking; causing the fabric of my pants and jacket to cling to my skin. I’d almost prefer rain to the way the mist stood still, forcing me to muddle through it. It was dark. The lights and signs on surrounding buildings didn’t seem to be able to preserve through the fog.

I saw a figure pressed against a building that looked tall enough to be Jason. As I approached, we regarded each other’s forms apprehensively. When he tilted his head, I knew it was him. I drew close.

“Jesus.” I mumbled. “Could you have picked a spookier place?”

“Don’t tell me you scare easy.” He said through a cigarette. His helmet was in his hand, but it could’ve easily been mistaken for a motorcycle helmet. The whole get-up was kind of biker-esque. I didn’t answer. Just glanced around.

“Come on.” He said. “It’s not far.”

As we began walking, it struck me how much more relieved I felt to hear his footsteps alongside my own. I was capable; willing and able to fight just about anyone Gotham could conjure up. But still, walking with him was comforting. Like I had someone to watch my back.

We even eased into a bit of conversation. Small things- things we agreed upon. Rich society, and Gotham’s war on the poor. Politicians we wouldn’t mind going missing. If you had showed me his picture next his crime scenes, I wouldn’t have pinned him.

Jason wasn’t unpleasant; it was just that his disposition was highly aloof and somewhat irritable. He had rich bronze skin, and full lips that I was sure made for a charming smile when he decided to do so (not a grin, a smile). The composition of his face was very sharp and neatly symmetrical, but still held some gaunt exhaustion, revealed by the constant tense of his jaw. His attentive dark eyes were almost always narrowed in some fashion of distaste. He never once looked at peace.

It seemed to me that he was disinterested in most anything having to do with my life, other than that he wanted me with him. His entire being was an oxymoron; a juxtaposition of unexpectedly soft and startlingly sharp and there wasn’t a way to tell which it would be.

Finally, we approached a small, industrial building with a neon sign of red, blue, and green.

The Lion’s Den

Burlesque and Drag

I raised my eyebrows. A bit on the nose if you asked me. If the name didn’t give it away, the posters and marquees adorning the brick exterior did.

“We need to talk to someone here before we go.” Jason said, pulling on his helmet, and unzipping his brown leather jacket to showcase the bat.

“Lead on.” I said, pulling up my own mask.

The music was so loud, I could barely hear myself think. The led lights lining the ceiling were cycling warm colors; red, pink, orange, yellow, the glow burning through the smokescreen that was nearly as thick as the mist outside.

Women were dancing, in lace or topless, spinning on poles and otherwise moving gracefully to the heartbeat of the place. But that wasn’t the main event- a stage lit with marquee lights, the centerpiece of which was a table, where three women sat. Their outfits were something out of Marie Antoinette’s personal wardrobe. And that’s where Red Hood was headed.

We walked up onto the stage, and while it all sort of mingled with the dim neon in the rest of the building, I still felt oddly seen. I placed myself behind Red Hood, inserted between him and one of the women. They appeared to be playing cards.

“Well, well.” Said one of the queens, with blonde hair curled and blown out like something out of the 70’s. Her exaggerated, colorful makeup was a work of art- Picasso, perhaps. “Gonna stick around for the show this time, sugar?”

Red sat down, leaning so that his arm rested along the back of the chair, lights glinting off his helm. His relaxed composure made me nervous- but perhaps it was the lack of information.

“Not this time, Trixy.” He answered.

“Pity,” Said the broad redhead beside me, her voice a low, soothing timber. “You neva’ do.”

“Don’t be rude, Sasha.” The third woman scolded, throwing down an Ace of Spades, to the visible dismay of the others. “He’s a busy man.”

“Who’s your friend?” Trixy asked.

I glanced at Red Hood before answering. “Just a little bird.”

“How delightful. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty, shall we?” Trixy said. “Did Dominique get the message to ya?”

“Refresh my memory.” Red Hood said- for my sake, I’m sure.

“Bout a week ago, a bunch of girls from the Row went missin’. Ain’t unusual,” Trixy said darkly, “Most don’t got no family or nothin’. Just us lookin’ out for ‘em. When we run outta beds here, that’s when they go missin’. But it’s different this time. Buncha girls all at once- including one ‘a the queens.”

“Tiffany Spice.” Sasha said, a solemn look on her face. “She was just comin’ into herself. Lord, I’d be devastated if somethin’ happened.”

“Some a’ the row girls been talkin’ about this real shifty fella- Baron Haus. New guy. Used to pimp out girls from the Narrows.”

“And the girls disappeared when he showed up.” I said quietly.

“Bingo.”

“How many?” Red asked.

“About eight, Tiffany included.”

“And you know where he was working from?” I inquired.

“Sha’ do. China Town. Club there called the Moonlight.”

Red Hood nodded. “Anything else me and my little bird should know?”

Trixy thought for a moment. “Baron’s got some friends in GCPD. Had some uncles in the force, or somethin’ of that nature. He’ll be missed. More dead.” She spit the term bitterly.

“They always are.” He responded, getting up from his chair.

“And Hoodie, sugar!” She called after us. “You’re a doll for this.” He didn’t reply. As we worked our way back toward the front, he spoke quietly.

“I thought it’d be better if you met ‘em yourself. Always makes it more personal.”

Batman never did that.

“Do you always make it personal?” I asked.

“It’s not fun if it isn’t.”

The freezing moisture in the air bit fiercely as we pushed open the metal screen door.

“Right.” I said. “So, the Moonlight. How are we getting there?”

“How do you think?” He said, stopping short of a rusted yellow fire escape on the side of the building. He surveyed it, then looked at me.

“Race ya.”

With surprising speed and grace, he scaled the fire escape, no sound in his wake.

“Oh, it’s on.” I fired, rushing to the bars and climbing like they were monkey bars. He disappeared over the edge of the roof, and as I made my way up, I saw him several years away, already conquering another building. I raced toward him, leaping over exhaust pipes until we were high above the fog. The city below looked like an illuminated ocean, twinkling lights just below a pillowy white surface.

I felt like a child again, overwhelmed, nearly brought to giddiness with excitement. Was this how Bruce felt, scaling rooftops with Catwoman? The small, but sure thrill of consorting with the bad guy- knowing that they were consorting with you in return?

I wasn’t a sidekick. There was no line to fall into. No predecessors, no successors, no beginning and no end. I moved like Batgirl across the shingles and concrete and metal scaffolding, but I was weightless without the Bat legacy on my chest. There was something deeply, shamefully freeing about that.

*

We were greeted differently in the Moonlight; a stark contrast to the warm welcome by the queens in the Lion’s Den. It was set up more like a smoky, refined gentlemen’s club. We drew attention from every walk of life inhabiting the bar- men in suits, women in silk, and slimy looking characters that grated offensively against the debonair theme.

Most leered for a moment, then cast their eyes away, like they’d seen something they shouldn’t have. Maybe you could consider Red Hood one of those such things.

“Mr. Hood!” There came a voice, cutting above the orchestral music- Nessun Dorma, if my musical sensibilities were still honed from my piano lesson days. “Welcome, welcome. I can only hope,” The man gave gritting smile, wound tight with visible anxiety. “That you’re here on peaceful business tonight.” He cast his nervous, monolid eyes to me. He was handsome, no older than thirty and wore a tight black vest. I didn’t let my body language give anything away; frankly, I was as in the dark as he was.

“Oh, you know me, Baron Jun,” Red Hood drawled, slowing to a halt at the bar, and leaning on it. “I don’t decide whether things stay peaceful or not. That depends on you.” I stayed standing, near his back, studying the security. Two lumbering men at the entrance, one behind Baron Jun. I wouldn’t put it past curvaceous bartender in red to have a gun, too.

“Lookin’ for Baron Haus. I heard a little rumor he works outta this quaint establishment now.”

When I’d considered the Red Hood’s contacts before, I pictured something like Batman’s relationship with Commissioner Gordon- figuring he had to have some corrupt cops or lowlife sleuths packing him with all his vast information. I never would have guessed it would be three drag queens playing cards.

A conflict passed over Baron Jun’s face, seconds long. “You… heard correctly. Word does seem to travel fast.”

“I need to pay him a visit. Remind him about some of my rules.” He admonished. It was a dripping warning, like the salivating jaws of an animal, teeth bared and pointed.

Baron Jun swallowed. “I see. Well, he um- he’s not actually here, at the moment. Maybe I can tell him you dropped b-“

“You know, Jun,” Red continued, ignoring him. “I got this really funny feeling you know what rules I’m talkin’ about.”

The look on his face was something to behold. I’d seen fear, briefly, on the faces of criminals before I subdued them and went on my way. But this was different. Fear induced by nothing but a conversation. Call it hive-mind, a power trip perhaps, but I felt this pesky sense of camaraderie that prompted me to take a few steps forward, shoulder to shoulder with Red Hood. Who was this vile little shitstain who made his living off men getting laid to play games with us? I thought about eight women, scared and abused. It was Baron Jun’s fault. Baron Haus’ fault. Everyone in this stupid bar, decorated to the taste of the men who abused them.

Baron Jun’s eyes dashed back and forth. Deny or ask forgiveness? I could see him running down those cross roads.

“He… he’s been running some shit I didn’t know about until last night. I swear I didn’t fuckin’ know.” He broke at last.

“Where are they?” I piped up.

“Who the fuck are-“ He was cut off with a bang and a scream as Red shot his knee. I was startled by the noise, but no one seemed to notice. It rang in my ear.

Give a girl a warning next time.

“Be. Fucking. Polite.” Red snapped, now advancing on the Baron. Only one of the three security guards decided it was worth the risk and stepped forward. Electric with the building energy of the whole night, I bolted forward and swung my fist into his throat. He made a choked noise and stumbled to the ground.

“Answer the question, Jun.” Red continued, this time in a taunting, sing-song tone.

“Oh, fuck,” Jun whimpered, cradling his knee. “Jesus- you- you shot me.”

“Always were a sharp one. I got a couple more bullets, and you’ve got another knee. So why don’t you sing before I get really impatient.”

“Christ.. they- they’re in the back. R-room fourteen.” His breath was labored with pain. I didn’t feel bad. Trusting that Red would handle the front and keep his promise of not killing anyone, I went to the back hallway, counting the doorways before reaching room 14. I made short work of the lock.

Some scuffling noises could be heard from the front room- but no further gunfire. I opened the door to reveal a velvet lounge, with red settees and satin curtains, along with fearful eyes looking back at me. I counted eight heads, including Tiffany Spice, who’d since abandoned his wig and gaudy attire. His make-up was streaked with long-dried tears.

“Tiffany Spice?” I asked, subservient to standard protocol despite my evening of rebellion.

“What’s going on out there?”

“Trixy sent us. You’re safe now.”

“Are the Barons gone?”

“They’re being dealt with.” I answered.

After finding them, the rest fell into place quickly. Red had indulged in some property destruction, and Baron Jun now reckoned with what appeared to be a shattered hand and some extra facial bruising.

I nodded briskly to Red and he, in turn, nodded to the bartender, who ushered the girls around.

Before departure, he knelt down in front of the Baron.

“You’re alive,” He said lowly. “Cause I’m doin’ someone a favor. If someone breaks the rules again,” He reached over and patted Jun’s pained face. “You be a good boy and come right to me. Okay?” Jun didn’t respond, nor take his bloodshot eyes off of his mangled hand, but Red straightened anyway and ushered me to the door.

Outside, we withdrew safely and quietly to a rooftop.

“Why did we leave them?” I asked.

“Trixy’s not my only contact. The bartender’s mine. She’ll get ‘em where they need to be.”

A beat.

“You knew Baron Haus wasn’t gonna be there.” I said quietly.

“Yeah.”

“That’s the only reason you promised me you wouldn’t kill anyone.”

Hesitation. “Yeah, it is.”

“Are you gonna track him down?” I asked. He didn’t answer. “Seriously.” I tried again. He sighed, then looked at me. I was seeing his eyes clearly for maybe the first time all night. It was sobering, and he held my gaze.

“Yes. Yes, I’m going to kill him.” He said firmly. I looked away.

“He’s got a track record.” He explained. “Does shit like this, gets caught, and then uses his friends in blue to get a lighter sentence. Three months, maybe. Then, he’s back. I’m not the first one to catch him. But I promise you, I’ll be the fuckin’ last.” His vitriol was oil on concrete, and I decided it was better not to light any matches. The rest of the walk was quiet, neither of us making the catalytic initiative to part ways, coming down from the adrenaline the way we’d built it; in each other’s uncertain company.

*

We settled on top of St. Luke’s Hospital, towering defiantly amidst the smaller, crowded inner city neighborhoods below. It was 4am, but I wasn’t tired. Quite the opposite; I was awash with energy, by grace of the night’s feat and the biting cold. Jason had pulled his helmet off, and was leaning against the steel exhaust pipe, myself nestled at his side.

“I have another place I need to go. Three days- Mafia business in Little Italy.” He said.

“And you want me to come?” I asked. He tipped his head.

“What can I say, doll? You’re good at this.”

I looked over the city, brow furrowing.

“Unless,” He added in a low voice, wry and challenging. “You think it’s wrong. I am the bad guy, aren’t I?”

I didn’t look at him, because I knew he was wearing a darkly arrogant expression, and I didn’t want to see it. No, there was nothing wrong about what we did tonight. Even if there was; I’d do it all again for the relief on Tiffany’s tear-streaked face.

“I’ll go.” I said. “But you have to tell me something. Honestly.” I said firmly, bringing my eyes to meet his. He cocked an eyebrow.

“Ask away.”

“Why me? Why don’t you hate me like you hate them?” Them. My family. Our family. Hate seemed a harsh word, but only after I supplied it, was I reminded of its truth. Jason studied me for a few agonizing moments, allowing only the sound of wind and distant, crying sirens.

“Carolyn Crawford.” He finally said.

“What?”

Carolyn Crawford.

I’d forgotten all about her. My life was sort of divided by this giant, barbed wire fence between before adoption and after adoption. Evidently, my brain decided that anything before adoption would be better of folded up, sealed with wax, and filed away. Traumatic memory suppression, the shrink Bruce sent me to called it- even though the only traumatic thing was the night my parents died, not everything that came before.

Nonetheless, Carolyn Crawford was somebody I hadn’t given any particular thought to in a long time. She was a woman of forty (at the time I was thirteen), and she had that snooty, Diamond District disposition that you only find in women who marry into wealth, but aren’t born with it. She was beautiful; pale skin, thin, with an air of 1950’s suave, accentuated by the auburn bob of artificial curls she always wore. Her husband was an investor in Wayne Enterprises, and she was sleeping with Bruce.

I had no reason to know, or care about this. But Jason did. When he found out, he was uncharacteristically devastated. I could imagine, in retrospect, that when you’re a boy of fifteen and you find out the man who adopted you- a man who was a holyfigure in your eyes, the good guy- was sleeping with a married woman ten years his senior, you may experience a bit of devastation. He had something, some virtuous perception of Bruce, ripped away from him, and he was given a concept that his father, too, had vices. His one vice; women.

Jason was angry. He wanted the world’s perception of Bruce to crumble alongside his own, and so he took all the valor in his teenage body and enacted his own justice.

An anonymous email was sent to just about every company partner or investor, including Carolyn’s husband, and my parents, disclosing a picture of Bruce in some secluded room at a gala, with his arm around Carolyn’s waist, leaning intimately into her ear. She had a wry smile on her face. Above the photo was a single tag line.

“Carolyn Crawford is fucking Bruce Wayne.”

My parents gossiped about the email, of course, when they thought I wasn’t leaning against the office door. But that was all I ever knew about it. Apparently Carolyn’s husband didn’t divorce her, but he did cut her off financially, which may as well have been the same loss.

That was all I heard of it, up until a charity event on a particularly cold January night. The January before Jason’s death. I was waltzing around as per usual, a cup of punch in my hand. Waiting for the clock to tick its way to eleven o’clock- when I knew my mothers would want to depart so they could get up for work the next morning. The music was lovely; fluttering strings.

“You!” It was a harsh sound, like a shrieking banshee, or the whining note of a violin when all the bow hairs are frayed.

Carolyn Crawford was marching right toward Jason, fury on her beautiful face. I didn’t catch the beginning of the conversation as I tried to make my way through the bodies, of which a few were also alarmed by the sound.

“...you’re the only one who could’ve done it, you little- don’t lie to me!”

Jason was defiant there, with his arms crossed and his lip slightly raised, but I could tell by the nervous look in his eye that she was pointing her bony finger at the right suspect. I’m certain it was Bruce who figured it out.

“What the hell are you talking about, lady?” He said.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. I know you sent that email. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”

“You’re outta your mind.”

“You’re going to regret this, I promise. I’m going to make sure that this follows you-“

“He didn’t send the email!” I said, pushing past a man who was eagerly watching, like it was the best thing he’d seen all night. I’m not even sure what possessed me to offer up the statement- maybe the way she was throwing her venom in his face and jabbing her finger at his chest.

“I did it.” I said. I didn’t look at Jason, but from the corner of my eye, I could see his mouth fall open. Carolyn Crawford turned on me.

“What?”

“I sent the email.” I said. We’d drawn more observers now, a small, hushed crowd of people too polite to intervene, but too curious to look away.

“Who the hell are you? And why would you do that?” Up close, I could see that she looked like she hadn’t slept. Other little things too; a pearl out place, stray hairs. She’d probably been through hell since Jason sent that email.

I leveled my gaze on her. “You really need to ask? What kind of wife-“

Slap.

Her open palm swung across my cheek so hard that I nearly stumbled into a donation table. There was a pressure in my ear, and then a stinging sensation. I put my hand to my cheek, and when I looked back up at her, she was eyeing the shocked crowd. Then, she turned, and walked briskly toward the exit, heels clicking on the marble.

Everyone stood there, looking at me. I flushed, shrinking under the weight of their eyes, feeling like an animal in a zoo. My mothers were nowhere to be found, and neither was Bruce.

In a swift movement, Jason grabbed my hand, shooting angry glares like daggers toward anyone who was looking, and ushered me into a secluded corner.

“Why did you do that? What the hell is wrong with you?” He whispered frantically, obviously battling whether he should touch my face or not. He decided not.

I gave him an insulted look. “I was helping you, jackass!”

“Well, you didn’t help!” He said, before adding, more exasperatedly. “You just got hurt.”

I shrugged, taking my hand off my cheek, probably to show him some modicum of strength, or defiance. “It’s not that bad.”

It was that bad. It was the first time I had ever been hit, by anybody. I actually wanted to cry. But I was dedicated to my tough girl role, so I didn’t.

“I’m sorry.” He said, surprising me with the fearful apologeticism in his voice. “I’m really sorry- you shouldn’t have done that. I should’ve said something. I just fuckin’ stood there like-“

“Hey! It’s okay. I did it because I wanted to. Besides, it really doesn’t matter who did what. She’s just mad she ruined her own marriage.”

He shook his head and slunk down beside me on the cold marble. The AC was offensively imposing for the middle of January, and I hugged my knees to my chest as we watched the guests disperse, dragging back the events of the night to gossip about later, like foxes carry prized rabbits.

*

“Carolyn Crawford?” I repeated. “That’s what this is about?”

Jason gave me a wiry look, a lopsided smile, then threw his head back and laughed, contagiously so. I let out a disbelieving chuckle.

“I mean,” He added, “Not all of it. A little.” There was residual laughter in his tone, and it made me want to lean into him.

“A ‘little’. Okay. Should I be getting in touch with Carolyn Crawford and thanking her for rekindling this little partnership?”

“Yeah.” He said. “Send her an email.”

I laughed again. “Seriously, Jason, what the fuck are you talking about?”

His grin lingered, and his eyes fell over the city. I could see the gears turning as he considered his response. Then he just shrugged.

“You covered for me.”

“Yeah.”

“And...” He leaned back, not taking his eyes from the sprawling lights. “Somethin’ tells me you still are.”

I looked at him for a while, trying to wait him out and make him elaborate. But he didn’t. I resigned with a sigh.

“Yeah, well.” I mumbled. “Carolyn Crawford was a giant bitch.” His lips fought a losing battle against another smile.

“Personally, I’m still a little impressed she had the gall to slap you.”

“Haha. Hey- did you actually take that picture?”

He shook his head, hesitating before adding. “Dick did.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.” He chuckled.

“So I took the fall for both of you.”

“Yeah, you did, Princess.”

He had this familiar, juvenile grin stuck to his face. And for the first time in a long, long time, he was Jason Todd.

[writingblock101]

Old Memories (Jason Todd x Reader)

Request for anonymous: “I didn’t want you to see me like this.” and “You’re proud of me?” 

I hit 700 followers? Holy shit? Thank you! Enjoy!

Word Count: 3,000 words

Warnings: Gore, violence 

Tags: @idkmanicantenglish, @mayahoelland2013

Red Hood grimaces under his helmet at the sound of the familiar, maniacal laughter. His hands tighten into fists as his skin burns with the heat of a bomb and stings from the blows of a crowbar. Keep breathing. You’re not in Ethiopia. His fingers ghost over the word “HA!” carved repeatedly into skin that isn’t his. The memory makes Red Hood’s stomach boil with rage. 

His hands brush over one of his guns strapped to his thighs. The heavy metal brings him comfort, knowing he’s not a scared kid, beaten and chained to the ground in an abandoned warehouse. He’s highly trained and heavily armed with a chip in his shoulder. While Red Hood may have agreed to not kill in Gotham, he’s certainly going to deliver some pain to the Joker. 

“Help patrol Gotham, they said,” Red Hood mutters to himself. “B would appreciate it so much, they said.” 

“You good, Wing?” Nightwing asks over the comms. 

“Peachy,” Red Hood growls, his teeth grinding at the sound of the laughter again. “Where the fuck is this crazy son of a bitch?” 

“Dunno. The upstairs classrooms are clear.” 

Red Hood grumbles under his breath as he checks an empty kindergarten classroom. While he’s happy Joker decided to hole up in a school at night when there weren’t any kids present, there are about twenty million different ways he’d rather be spending his evening than hunting for the Joker with Nightwing and all of them include you. 

You and Dick, of course, were the ones who talked him into helping patrol Gotham. With Batman and Robin on bed rest after getting caught in an explosion and Red Robin abroad, that left Nightwing and Red Hood to make sure Gotham didn’t go to hell. And of course, just with Red Hood’s luck, Joker decided tonight was a beautiful night to break out of Arkham. 

“I hate this fucking city,” Red Hood grumbles. 

“Clearly not that much ‘cause you never left,” Nightwing quips back. 

“Yeah, well, sorry for not fucking off to a completely different city because B pissed me off,” Red Hood snaps. 

“We’re not all dramatic enough to die instead.” 

Red Hood grins under his helmet, glad that his siblings are finally catching on to how much fun it is to make death jokes. 

The intercom crackles to life, Red Hood’s grin melting off his face. 

“Looks like old Batsy seems to think he’s too good for my games,” The Joker sighs. “Instead, he sent me Old Boy Wonder and the Defective,” He laughs loudly. “I’m sure we’ll still have some fun!” 

Red Hood grinds his teeth, but finishes checking the last classroom. 

“Downstairs is clear, anything upstairs?” 

“All clear,” Nightwing confirms. “That just leaves the gym.” 

“Great,” Red Hood sighs. “Meet in the west stairwell.” 

Nightwing swings around the railing, dropping onto the floor next to Red Hood. Show off. 

“Shall we?” He asks. 

Red Hood grumbles but follows Nightwing out the stairwell and toward the large gym. Red Hood shoves open the door to be immediately met by gunfire near his head. He curses, ducking left while Nightwing sprints right. 

“Hiya, boys!” Joker exclaims, firing another round of bullets into the wall above the bleaches Red Hood is hiding under. “I thought you two would never find me!” 

“I’d rather find you in a cell in Arkham!” Nightwing yells from opposite bleachers. 

“Arkham?!” Joker sounds deeply offended. “Boy Wonder, when did you turn into such a party pooper?” 

“You want an alphabetized list?” Nightwing growls then his escrima sticks crackle to life with electricity and he leaps out of his hiding place, hitting a nearby goon in the face. 

Red Hood takes that as his cue and comes out shooting. They make quick work of the goons, sending the Joker sprinting toward the back of the gym. 

“This party isn’t over yet!” He exclaims, pulling out a different, strange-looking gun. 

“What the…” Red Hood frowns at the toy looking weapon then Joker points it at him and fires. “Shit!” Red Hood exclaims, rolling out of the way from a dart that’s sticking into the floor. 

Joker fires again, this time hitting Red Hood in the shoulder. He curses, yanking the dart out, but feels strange. Joker laughs again. 

“I hope you like my new concoction!” He exclaims. 

Jason feels the room spin around him for a moment, a floating feeling rushing throughout his body. A giggle builds in his stomach then comes tumbling out of his lips. Another follows, spilling like bubbles out of Jason’s mouth. Bubbles, that’s funny. He laughs more, the idea of bubbles coming out of his mouth seeming hilarious. 

He looks down at his chest, expecting to see bubbles. Huh. He’s on the ground now. Isn’t that funny? Jason thinks so. 

He looks down at his chest, wanting to find the bubbles. Maybe they’re a pretty color! Wouldn’t that be funny? Bright green and purple bubbles spilling out of Jason’s mouth. That would be hilarious! 

Jason laughs more, tilting his head to see the bubbles, but he doesn’t see bubbles. Dark red blood gurgles down his chest, oozing from his split open stomach. Those aren’t green and purple bubbles. More blood gushes out of his stomach as Jason laughs harder. Blood? He’s bleeding? When did he start bleeding? He needs to stop the bleeding, but he keeps laughing. What is so funny? Jason isn’t sure, but he keeps laughing. 

Deep cuts on his arms begin dripping with blood. HA! HA! HA! HA! carves itself into his skin. Jason laughs harder, feeling tears rush down his face. He hears the smack of a crowbar against skin, the ticking of a clock, the smell of gunpowder. He feels the burn of an explosion, a sheen of sickly green covers his eyes. It bubbles around him, forcing his skin back together. 

“Jason?” You stand in front of him, blood spurting from your slit throat. “Why did you do this to me?” 

It’s not funny, but Jason can’t stop laughing. 

“Why did you do this to me?” You hiss, more blood spurting from your throat. 

As blood dribbles from your throat, it catches the scars on your arms. HA! HA! HA! 

“You did this!” You scream. “Jason! You did this! Jason! Jason! JASON!” 

“Jason!” Nightwing exclaims. 

Jason jerks awake with a gasp. He shoves Nightwing away from him and rips his helmet off, breathing heavily. His hand flies to his chest to find it perfectly dry. He isn’t bleeding, you’re not here. He’s on the ground in the gym. The Joker is tied up and unconscious. Isn’t that funny? 

A familiar, maniacal laugh escapes Jason’s lips. His eyes widen at the realization. 

“Hey,” Nightwing puts a grounding hand on Jason’s shoulder. “It’s okay, breathe through it. We have the antidote, let’s just go to the Cave--” 

“No,” Jason cuts him off. “I’m not going to the Cave,” He giggles at the thought of bats, his anger quickly flushing away. 

Nightwing sighs, probably not surprised by Jason’s resistance. 

“Okay, fine. I can go to the Cave. Do you want me to take you back to your apartment?” 

“No!” Jason laughs again, his chest tightening at the familiar laughter. He feels a crowbar smack his skin. His hands go to his hair, tugging. There’s no crowbar. Another laugh spills past his lips. “I can’t,” Jason manages as another laugh forces its way out. He tugs harder on his hair. “I can’t do that to Y/N… Not when I’m like this.” He laughs again. 

Dick frowns, squeezing Jason’s shoulder. 

“Okay, Jase, just breathe. You’re okay.” 

Jason nods shakily, his heart rate speeding up with each laugh. 

“My apartment is too far…” Nightwing frowns. 

“I have a spare key to Tim’s apartment,” Jason giggles, his fingers tightening in his hair at the sound. 

Nightwing narrows his eyes. 

“Does Tim know this?” 

Jason rolls his eyes. 

“He’s the one that gave it to me, birdbrain,” The usual bite is wrecked by another maniacal laugh. 

“Okay,” Nightwing helps Jason to his feet. “Let’s get you out of here.” 

. . . 

It’s not just Joker Venom. Dick curses under his breath. It never is easy with Joker, is it? He looks over at his brother on the couch. The crazed grin has forced its way onto Jason’s face as more and more maniacal laughter forces its way out. 

With each giggle, Jason’s nails dig into his hair. Luckily, Dick was able to get Jason out of his gear, but the sight on Tim’s couch was truly heartbreaking. 

Jason is hunched over, curled in a protective position Dick guesses Jason used a lot before meeting Bruce. His hands are knotted into his hair, tightening with each giggle. His eyes are squeezed shut, tears streaming down his face through the laughter. 

“No, stop!” He begs. He murmurs something low and panicked that Dick doesn’t catch. “Stop! Leave Y/N alone!” 

Dick clenches his fist, his chest tightening at hearing Jason say your name again. If he had to guess, Joker laced his Venom with Fear Toxin. Because Joker Venom wasn’t already hellish enough. 

Jason whimpers again, curling tighter on himself. Dick needs the antidote. This isn’t the first time Joker has combined his Venom with Fear Toxin so making the antidote won’t take long, but Dick can’t bear to leave Jason alone. 

Kori is off-world, Roy is on the other side of the country, Bruce and Damian are the absolute last people Jason wants to see… Kyle is off-world, as is Donna, Tim is in Europe, Cass is in Hong Kong with Steph, Babs is helping the Birds of Prey with a mission, and Dick doesn’t have a single clue about how to get in touch with Jason’s friend, Artemis. While Dick understands why Jason doesn’t want you anywhere near him, Dick doesn’t want Jason left alone for any period of time… Which leaves you as his only option. 

Dick sighs and fishes out his phone. 

. . . 

You stand outside Tim’s apartment, staring at the door. Dick gave you the full rundown. Jason has been hit with a mixture of Fear Toxin and Joker Venom, giving him terrifying hallucinations while laughing like the man who murdered him. 

The sound of maniacal laughter, muffled by the door, sends chills down your spine. Your arms burn where the words HA! HA! HA! HA! are carved. The sound of screams echo distantly in your ears. 

Although it has been years since you were trapped in that 3rd-grade classroom with that deranged clown while watching him carve into your classmates’ bodies, the memories still haunt you constantly. Some kids got Glasgow smiles carved onto their faces. Others got the Joker’s name carved across their chest. You got his laughter carved down your arms. Years of therapy is the only reason you can stand in front of this door without running. 

Another laugh fills your ears. You squeeze your eyes shut, feeling the sting of the cuts running down your arm, but you pause, taking a deep breath. Although the laugh sounds dangerously close to the Joker’s, underneath the high pitch noise you can hear Jason’s low timbre. He is in there, forced to be producing the last sounds he heard as a scared, beaten sixteen-year-old, and you’re not going to let him suffer alone. 

You knock on the door. 

Dick opens the door, looking a bit disheveled. He’s still in his Nightwing costume, mask and all, but judging by his messy hair, he’s been tugging on it and running his fingers through it, a nervous habit you’ve noticed most of the family doing. 

“Hey,” He pulls you inside quickly. “I’m sorry to drag you into this--” 

“I’m glad you called me,” You cut him off. A familiar laugh interrupts you, causing you to tense. 

Dick frowns, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder. 

“Hey, just breathe. You’re not there. You’re in Tim’s apartment.” 

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, nodding along with Dick. 

“I’m okay,” You promise. 

“Y/N?” Jason says quietly. 

You break away from Dick and slowly approach Jason on the couch. He looks exhausted and terrified, dried tear tracks on his face along with the frozen, crazed smile. 

“Hey, Jaybird,” You begin quietly. “You okay?” 

“You’re...You’re not real…” Jason slowly backs away from you, curling against the couch’s opposite arm with a giggle.

“No, Jay, I’m here. I’m real,” You reach out to run your fingers through his hair. 

He sighs, melting into the touch for a moment, then a deranged giggle forces its way out of Jason’s mouth. Your hand tenses slightly in his hair. It’s not Joker. This is Jason. Joker isn’t here. It’s just Jason. He would never hurt you. 

Jason notices your sudden stiffness and slips away from your touch. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Anger tries to overtake his features, but the fixed smile makes Jason look even more demented. He glares at Dick. “I told you not to call! What the hell?!” He laughs loudly, his hands closing into tight fists.

“I didn’t want to leave you here alone and Y/N was the closest person,” Dick explains calmly. 

“I would be fine!” Jason protests, another laugh forcing its way out. 

“No, you wouldn’t be,” Dick responds tightly. “I have been watching you lose your shit on the couch for the past twenty minutes! I need to go make you the antidote.” 

“I’ve survived worse!” Jason protests with a loud, maniacal laugh. “I’m already living through hell, I didn’t want someone else to be dragged in!” 

Your face softens. 

“Jay,” You reach out to touch his arm, but he jerks away from you. 

“No!” He protests loudly with another laugh. “I didn’t want you to see me like this,” Tears form in his eyes. “I don’t want to… to turn into him.” 

“Jase,” Dick frowns. “You’re nothing like the Joker. You’ll never be the Joker.” 

“You… You don’t get it!” Jason yells with a laugh.

Dick opens his mouth to say something else, but you interrupt before he can. 

“Dick. Go to the Manor, I’ll stay here,” You order. 

Dick shoots a worried glance at Jason but nods and walks out of the room. You turn your attention back to Jason. 

“Jay,” You cradle his face, wiping your thumbs under his eyes. “You’re not the Joker. You never will be.” 

“I know, but I didn’t… I didn’t want you to see me when I sounded like this,” Jason giggles again, your shoulders tensing for a moment. “See! I know you’re scared of me! I never want you to feel like that around me!” 

“I’m not scared of you,” You tell him sharply. “I know you would never do anything to hurt me. Yes, the laugh brings back some bad memories, but you don’t bring back those bad memories. You help me replace them with something better.” 

Jason’s eyes squeeze shut for a moment, his hands coming up to hold your wrists. 

“I saw myself standing over you so many times. You were bleeding and I was holding the knife,” He pauses, his voice dropping to a whisper. “I saw myself hurting you,” He giggles, his hands momentarily tightening on your wrists at the sound. 

“Jay, have you ever had any desire to ever hurt me?” You ask. 

Jason’s eyes fly open. 

“No!” He quickly says. 

“Then what makes you think you’re suddenly going to start now?” 

Jason says nothing, looking down at the floor. You move a hand to his chin, forcing him to look at you. 

“I’m proud of you,” You tell him. 

His eyebrows furrow with a crazed laugh. Both of you tense for a moment. 

“You’re proud of me?” He asks hesitantly. 

“Every day,” You tell him. “You never cease to amaze me. You’ve experienced the worst of the world, but still put yourself in danger to help others. You have so many reasons to be angry, but you still find some way to love everyone around you. Tonight, you faced off against a man who has hurt you and so many people that you love. He tried to break you, turn you into what you hate, but you are still standing here strong. I am proud of you.” 

Tears freely flow down Jason’s face then he pulls you into a tight hug, holding you close to his chest. 

“I’ll never hurt you,” He promises into your hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

“I know,” You whisper back, despite the giggle that escapes him. 

. . . 

By the time Dick makes it back to the apartment, you had coaxed Jason on the couch where he was fast asleep against your chest. You idly run your fingers through his hair, whispering words of reassurance to him when his body goes tense from nightmares. 

Dick holds up a syringe. 

“How is he?” Dick asks. 

You shrug, glancing down at Jason fondly. 

“About as good as he can be, given the circumstances,” You look at the syringe. “Antidote?” You ask. 

“Yep,” Dick nods. “Let’s wake him up.” 

“Jay,” You whisper to him, running your fingers down his back. “I need you to wake up.” 

Jason jerks awake, looking frantically around the room for a moment, but your hand in his hair directs his attention to you. 

“Hey, you okay?” You ask quietly. “We’re in Tim’s apartment.” 

Jason nods with a giggle. 

“Dick got the antidote.” 

“Thank God,” Jason groans, rolling his sleeve up. 

Once Dick injects Jason with the antidote, you two move to Tim’s bedroom for the night. The smile is finally starting to fade from Jason’s face. 

He collapses onto the bed and pulls down you with him, wrapping his arms around you tightly. 

“Thank you,” He murmurs into your hair. “I love you.” 

You tilt your head up and give him a sweet kiss. 

“I love you too,” You whisper back, making Jason hold you tighter. 

Everything is okay. 

Thank you guys so much for being patient! My parents are currently moving, I am transferring colleges, starting my summer job and trying to sort out summer classes. Those other request are coming up! I’m really excited to write the next one! 

[davidmann95]

I’m sure I’m not the first person to ask this, but what did you think of the “The Batman” trailer?

Actually, you were! And I was thrilled from jump by the panel; it being reiterated once again that this is a detective movie first and foremost, Bruce Wayne psychology, Batman working out the long-term logistics of his crime-fighting operation as a viable antidote to Gotham’s corruption, lots of the history of the city, ordinary citizens having understandably complicated feelings on this guy, filming in Liverpool for the Gotham-appropriate architecture with the skyscrapers CGed in, and citing Darwyn Cooke’s criminally overlooked Batman: Ego as an inspiration for this take on the character. Plus the leaked pic of Pattinson’s Bruce Wayne with the mask off but the eyeshadow still applied, which forced me to uncomfortably reckon with my newfound reality where I find my hero, Batman, searingly hot. I was very content and looking forward to the 5 seconds or so of footage we’d get.

AND THEN

I am utterly head-over-heels in a way I cannot remember the last time a movie trailer brought me to, my already unrealistic hopes and expectations left in the dust. This is, if you’ll pardon the inherent dismissiveness, a real movie as opposed to a standard superhero flick, isn’t it? I gotta break up my thoughts here:

* The Virgin, normal Batman: I quest for justice, yet, in my selfsame thirst for vengeance, am I not as mad as those I fight? Gaze ye not into the abyss lest-

The Chad, Battinson: *Punches goon 11 times, only pausing a second to break his arm, while unquestionably nursing an erection that could puncture titanium*

I know I said with the costume reveal clip that this was a Batman who’s finally putting the previously subtextual sexual charge of a traumatized man in a black form-fitting animal-themed uniform exorcising his demons through violence on full display, but good lord. I thought Tom King had the last word anybody really could on “hey, maybe Batman’s kind of messed up?” - and for the better, that seemed like a vein run entirely dry even if King mustered up interesting final thoughts - but it’s now clear that our ideas of what constitutes fucked-up were crushingly limited. Luckily, Robert Pattinson’s vision of a beautiful leather emo punch-loving freak has come through to show us a new way altogether, and I look forward to whatever kind of character journey to apparently something a little more traditional the creators have in mind.

* Speaking of Pattinson, this isn’t the sort of thing I tend to notice in particular much less talk up, but his physical presence here is palpable and on-point - his stillness is uncomfortable, punctuated by bursts of horrific brutality. I absolutely believe that this is a man who traveled to the corners of the world to master every aspect of the martial disciplines, honing his mind and instincts to the peak of human perfection, just as much in order to find the self-control to not constantly slaughter people in his rage as anything else. He feels like the latter-day Frank Miller take on Batman as an absolute maniac, but honed to such a razor’s edge and tempered by a discipline that makes it work played straight. For that matter his ‘Batman voice’ feels like a cleaner, more powerful version of what Keaton was going for, the costume looks excellent in motion, and he manages some top-shelf brooding at the end there. He could easily end up my favorite live-action Batman, he’s immediately clicking with me in the same way Hoechlin did as Superman.

(Side note, it’s especially a hilarious contrast that now Keaton’s Batman, who Burton tried to play up as SUCH a WEIRDO, is now gonna be the Batman of the shared DCEU as a return to something more traditional, while in the corner there’s...this guy.)

* The comparisons to Nolan are overt and powerful, to the point people are saying on Twitter that this is the Batman vs. Riddler trilogy capper they’d expected of that series immediately post-The Dark Knight. But while I can’t imagine it’ll manage the lightning-in-a-bottle topicality and beautifully tight structure that managed, for the most part I feel like the comparisons come out very much in favor of The Batman? The cinematography is gorgeous, the fights actually look great, Gotham is Gotham, the costume’s so much better, and it not only seems to go farther in gritty realism but at the same time is much more open-seeming to weird Batman gimmickyness with its artfully choreographed riddle-murders literally addressed to the local crimefighter and roving gangs of Joker goons (which implies Pattinson has already thrown down with him); if nothing else, it deserves all the credit in the world for pulling off the latter contrast without looking totally ridiculous. But above all, there’s an atmosphere here, a vibe, that simply strikes me as far more potent.

* A dude on Twitter cracked Riddler’s code!

* And finally, I initially went “if this is gonna be a trilogy the way they’re saying, it should end on R.I.P.” on Twitter because I felt it was a mass-media version of the character that could finally nail that tone and setup, and what the hell does this dude when he’s full-on Zur-En-Arrh look like? But then I put together that apparently a lot of the mystery here is about Gotham’s history and how the Wayne family played into it, so absolutely it would be fair game for it to end on R.I.P. and while I know it’s a bad idea to set expectations against fan theories this is now ALL I WANT. And in an act of supreme coolness, @RES_comics on Twitter put this little beauty together in response:

So yeah, this is as they say clean and rad and powerful. Turns out that Batman fella, he keeps coming back in stuff for a reason, and the reason is that he rules! Already like it more on the strength of this than the whole collective DCEU - which has multiple very good movies at this point - and I cannot imagine it won’t end up at worst my fourth-favorite Batman movie (second if you’re sticking purely to live-action). Glad they’re immediately applying their “we’re gonna do stuff outside the shared universe with more radical, idiosyncratic visions” approach to their biggest name in such a big way and by all appearances having it so profoundly pay off.

[highly-opinionated-ramblings]

Batshipping masterpost

Sometimes asking yourself the question “what would it take for me to ship these two characters together?” helps you come up with really really good stories that you otherwise might never have thought of! 

Very fun writing exercise. Do recommend.

ANYWAY. I like Batman, so I asked myself this question about him, and these were the results! 

(Featuring: Catwoman, Riddler, Twoface, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Azrael, Mr. Freeze, Clayface, Superman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Flash, Green Lantern, Green Arrow, and Aquaman)

What would it take for me to ship Batman with that character? A few key ingredients: 

If they are/were a villain, a redemption of sorts. A slow process of coming to terms and actively deciding “yeah, that’s not who I am anymore.” 

A connection, a distinct moment where they’re able to talk to Batman as more than just an old enemy or a League ally. A spark that generates interest in developing the relationship further.

An establishment of explicit trust. This usually comes in the form of Bruce revealing his identity to the other and trusting them (maybe tentatively at first, but even so) not to give it away.

An introduction to the kids. I am one hundred percent positive that this is, for the vast majority, not a voluntary action on Batman’s part. But if you raise nine kids to be detectives, you can’t expect to keep secrets from them for long! And once they know you’ve been sleeping with that former villain, you’re going to have to justify that to them somehow.

Then the whole cycle starts again as the villain redeems themselves in the eyes of the kids and gains their trust and acceptance too. Good stuff.

Note: my interpretations of these characters are entirely my own and by no means do all of them line up with any sort of canon. I just sort of do whatever. 

Also: some of the bullet points below address some of the mental health problems in the villains, so proceed at your own discretion.

Catwoman: I really like the Gotham tv show’s dynamic between Bruce and Selina, which is to say, they were childhood friends with an early attraction to one another, but had a falling out sometime around the very beginnings of Bruce actually becoming Batman. She spends a few years as a professional thief. He sends her to prison a few times. But eventually she settles down and opens up a casino or whatever, where she deals information under the table. Alfred and the kids know her these days as an ally rather than enemy. So it’s just a matter of her realizing that her attraction to Bruce is deeper than originally assumed, and that if she wants to be with him she has to really dedicate herself to that idea, and for him to realize that she’s being serious and that he needs to prioritize spending time with her over obsessing over his work.

Bruce takes his mask off dramatically, saying something along the lines of “it’s me, Selina” and she’s like “yeah I know.” “What?” “You do this thing where you pace back and forth and nod your head up and down when you’re thinking. Never known anyone else who did that but Bruce Wayne.” “...Oh.”

Childhood friends interpretation is also great because Alfred already knows her and likes her. And she has all these embarrassing stories about 14 year old Bruce to share, which means that even the most resistant of the kids warm up to her right away.

Riddler: the first line in his Arkham file is that he has an obsessive need for attention. And Bruce KNOWS that. But it takes years for it to occur to him, incredibly sleep-deprived and staring down one of Ed’s death traps that he really, really doesn’t want to deal with today....what would happen if he just, y’know, gives it to him? The attention that he wants? And the results are instantaneous. It’s like the floodgates are open and Ed just can’t stop talking. It starts out snide and derogatory, the same way he usually talks to Batman, but the longer it goes on the more it deteriorates into something oddly helpless and vulnerable. Bruce has been so used to cocky, swaggering Ed that it never really occurred to him that this was someone suffering, who needed help. So he sits down and does his best to convince Ed that he’s not going to take him in (how many times has he been sent to Arkham? And what good has it done him, really?) and they talk. He leaves out of necessity (bank robbery in progress, says Barbara’s voice in his ear) but he goes back the next day, and again after that. Ed gets attention from Bruce without having to resort to crime to get it. Bruce gets a break from head busting and an outlet for some of the stale energy inside his head. They tell each other riddles and play strategy games and get to know each other, for real this time.

Ed stops worrying so much about proving that he’s smarter than Batman. Instead he channels all that energy into uncovering Bruce’s secret identity. It’s just another one of their games. Bruce has kept that secret for a long time and he’s confident he can keep it up, but Ed’s always alert waiting for him to slip up, to leave a clue

Option 1 for how he finds out: he sets up an elaborate trap, making it seem like he’s in danger and the only way to save him is for Bruce to take his mask off, so he does. Ed is outraged. “REALLY? BRUCE WAYNE? FUCKING REALLY?” he yells, dropping all pretense of being in danger. The robots he made for this setup drop like puppets with cut strings. Bruce gets ready to Fight.

Option 2: Some other villain reveals Bruce’s identity before he gets the chance (Arkhamverse style). Ed is outraged. “HOW DARE YOU LET ANYONE ELSE BUT ME DO THAT” he yells while Bruce tries his best to ignore him and focus on calling the JL to fix the whole situation somehow

Option 3: Bruce just tells him. Ed is outraged. “I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO FIGURE IT OUT YOU IDIOT”

The kids are Not Happy about Bruce dating Gotham’s Most Annoying Super Villain

Twoface: again I gotta go with the whole ‘they were friends when they were younger and Bruce had a raging crush on him’ setup. Cause that adds a whole layer to Bruce’s part of the story, watching Harvey become Twoface and assuming responsibility for locking him up every time he gets out. One day something happens in Gotham- string of murders or something, it’s not important really what it is. Bruce goes after the person responsible and his trail leads him to Harvey. So he busts into the safe house, intending to intimidate anything Harvey knows out of him, and then throw him back in Blackgate. “Ohohoho, noooooo, you got this all wrong,” Harvey says when he figures out what Batman’s getting at. “That motherfucker put a dozen of my men in the ground. This is personal. You want me to tell you what I know, you’re going to take me with you.” And Bruce agrees. Cause he knows Harvey’s got a certain moral code that he can be trusted to stick to, and it’s the most painless way of getting what he wants from him anyway. Working with Harvey is weird, though. He shoots a couple of goons going after Batman and gives him that lopsided smile, says “I’ve got your back,” and suddenly Bruce is like 20 again and Harvey is bringing him a coffee, smiling. During their chase they have a dramatic rooftop showdown with whoever it is they’re chasing. Bruce turns around just in time to see one of the thugs push Twoface over the edge. He gets caught up in the moment and practically screams, “Harvey!” Of course, he’s able to dramatically swoop in and save him, though it’s a pretty close call. When Harvey comes to he sits up and says quietly, “It’s been a long time since anyone’s called my name like that, did we have that kind of relationship?” and Bruce panics and tries to brush it off as his imagination, but Harvey shakes his head and says “once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it, man. It’s you under there, isn’t it, Bruce?” And it turns out that knowing Bruce’s real identity turned out to be exactly what Harvey needed. Cause he can identify some of the duality he feels about himself in Batman, now. They spend some more time together, talking some of that out, and it doesn’t take long for Bruce’s crush to return en force.

Poison Ivy: He lets her go. He knew she was at that scene, and she knows he saw her, but he lets her go, cause it wasn’t a big deal. No one died, relatively little property damage, and that jerk deserved it anyway. The next day there’s a potted plant sitting on GCPD’s doorstep and they call Batman thinking it might be dangerous, but it’s just a lovely specimen of a rare flower, which he knows is her way of saying thanks. (He doesn’t let the police know that, though. He just puts it in the back of the Batmobile and tells them it’s nothing he can’t handle). He takes it home with him and treats it well. And she knows it, can kind of sense it, distantly. They have a few more run ins over the course of the next few months and they take it easy on each other, having this sort of mutually unspoken agreement. Eventually something happens for her to need to talk to Batman, so she digs her roots in deep and finds that flower...in the garden at Wayne Manor. She leaves a message for Batman and they meet up and talk about whatever she needed. She doesn’t mention the Manor, so he asks about it. She just shrugs and mentions something about Bruce Wayne’s recent efforts in protecting the environment. “Maybe we’re not as different as I thought, after all.” They give each other more little presents from afar. One day she sees him hanging around (where she knows he knows she can see him), and drops by to talk. He offers her a ride home and ends up spending the night.

This one I think he owns up to before the kids can figure it out. Pam’s a good source of information, and if he was desperate he’d call her even with all of them watching. They’d all think he’d been bewitched, of course. It’d take a while to convince them all otherwise.

Harley Quinn: all it takes is for him to get his first glimpse of the real her and decide that Joker victims need to stick together and help other Joker victims. After the breakup and the subsequent recovery, she’s living free (albeit under Constant Surveillance) in Gotham, and he checks in every once in a while, just to make sure she’s doing ok and not reverting to her previous, Joker-driven, rocket-fueled bad habits. One day there’s an incident in her neighborhood- maybe someone was going after her and Bruce was there protecting her, or maybe it wasn’t related to her at all. Regardless, it’s her who finds him after the explosion and takes him home and gives him first aid. He’s groggy and panicky when he first wakes up in a strange place (not a hospital, not the cave) with an IV drip in his arm (he’s not in a hospital, where did that come from!). It gets worse when he realizes that his mask was blown right off his face in the blast. It gets SIGNIFICANTLY WORSE when Harley appears in his field of vision, waving around a tablet pulled up to Bruce Wayne’s wikipedia page, in full psychologist mode, ranting about how he’s been going about dealing with his childhood trauma All Wrong. But they talk, and she promises not to give his secret away. “What would I have to gain from that? You’d stop coming to visit me then!” It takes a while for the two of them to figure out exactly what’s going on between them but once they’re both sure the others’ intentions are good, they develop a good, strong relationship.

Bonus points if, at any point in the above time space, she walks up to him one day and hands him an unmarked usb drive. “What’s on this?” “My daughter.” “What.” “My daughter! Her location and everything about her.” “Is she...Joker’s?” “I dunno. Could have been him or any one of a number of other guys. Mistah J threw some really wild parties. *shrug* The only part that really matters to me is that she’s mine. And if anything ever happens to me, she’ll need someone to look out for her, y’know?” “And that’s me???” “Well, helping people in need is one of your compulsions, after all. Especially kids, or else you wouldn’t have so many of your own.” 

I usually imagine Jason as one of the ones kind of sticking up for Batman, citing how crime has all but disappeared since he started sleeping with whatever particular villain and that who are they to police who Bruce shares his bed with anyway (BONUS bonus points if he’s just entering the early stages of coming to terms with his own bisexuality and never realized that Bruce was bi, too), but that wouldn’t be the case with Harley. He’d feel pretty hurt about that, I think. On the other hand: Dick has been around since Harley’s debut on the scene, and has always thought of her as relatively harmless and even respected her to a degree, as a fellow acrobat, so he’s cool with her dating Bruce

Azrael: His JL team goes on hiatus for a little while, so he calls Bruce up like “uhhh, I don’t really have much of anywhere else to go, so can I come back to Gotham for a while?” And Bruce tells him that they’re actually experiencing a pretty calm stretch for a change, but yeah, he can come if he wants. At first he’s excited because he’s never been invited to the actual, og Batcave, but there really IS nothing going on. He meets Alfred, who offers him tea. He meets Steph and Tim, out of masks, lounging on the couch playing Street Fighter. They assure him that if literally anything happens, one of their gajillion alert systems will let them know. He goes off in search of Bruce, finds him sitting at the kitchen table making his way through a veritable mountain of paperwork. Eventually he admits that he doesn’t really know what to do with himself in the downtime. “I usually try to use time like this to do things for Bruce Wayne, instead of for Batman,” Bruce explains. “You should do something for Michael Lane, while you have the chance.” “But...but...but I’ve been Azrael full-time for years now...” “Alright, well, what did you like to do before you were Azrael?” “UHH...” Before he can short-circuit too much trying to come up with an actual answer to that question, Bruce puts aside his paperwork and takes his arm. They get in the car and Bruce takes him to like a hobby shop or something. They buy model kits and a cookbook and some yarn (”one of the kids can teach you”), and he promises that one of these days they’ll clear some space on the lawn to play football. Michael hasn’t experienced this level of anyone caring for his well-being probably ever? and all he can do is stammer something about “is there anything I can do for Bruce Wayne in return?” “You can keep me company while I file all my paperwork, I guess.” So he sits at the table across from Bruce and builds his little ATAT model kit feeling happier than he has in a long time. Bruce can tell that a little more attention would do him good, so they spend some more time hanging out which leads to having some deep conversations and building up feelings for each other, it’s all very cute

Right at the beginning of Michael developing his crush on Bruce he realizes that something’s different, but doesn’t quite realize what it is, and his mind jumps to the worst case scenario right away. He locks himself in his room, calls Bruce at work, panicking, and says he thinks his St. Dumas brainwashed obsession with Bruce might be coming back. Bruce tells him to calm down, they’ll run some tests. All the tests come back negative, but Michael is visibly shaken, so Bruce offers for him to hang around Gotham a little longer so they can monitor him, which is what leads to his extended stay in Gotham

Mr. Freeze: One day something changes. One day the realization finally, finally clicks into place. There’s a huge floating JL base in the sky and aliens living on Earth and people coming back from the dead and healing from miraculous injuries and plagues all the time. If it was going to happen to him, it would have happened by now. It’s over. Nora’s not coming back. That day he laces up his boots and loads his gun and walks over to the little diner on the corner and wrecks it. Batman gets the call, and obviously he knows that something’s different, this isn’t Vic’s MO, but he goes anyway, of course. Vic blasts away at him with his freeze gun, wildly, recklessly, screaming and ranting the whole time. Bruce dodges out of view, and Vic transfers his aggressions to the nearest object in sight: a table. He blasts that thing in half, and then in half again, and keeps going until it’s nothing but splinters and he’s just standing there, gasping for breath. “Victor,” says Bruce from behind him, “tell me what’s wrong.” “Nora’s dead,” Vic mumbles under his breath. Bruce comes around to face him and Vic is looking at him with THE SADDEST puppy dog eyes he’s ever seen. (I know what you’re thinking right now. “Mr. Freeze can’t do puppy dog eyes.” You’re WRONG, I’m telling you) “That’s the first time I’ve ever said that out loud, I think... I d-don’t...I don’t know what to do…” and Bruce is like, darn, I can’t take this fool to jail. So he brings him back to his chilly lair instead and sits him down and talks him through it a little. Leaves him with a phone number to call if it gets real bad again, but makes the first call to check up on him later anyway. This one is a sloooow burn, it takes Vic MONTHS to get over Nora, couple weeks to realize he MIGHT? be developing feelings for Bruce, couple more weeks to wrestle with the guilt of that. Learning Bruce’s identity is the thing that really brings all of it to a head. Maybe there’s an attempt on Bruce Wayne’s life and later that day Batman shows up with the same pattern of lacerations on his cheek, or broken leg, or whatever. Vic’s not an idiot. He can put two and two together. When Bruce finally takes off the helmet in front of him, it’s a huge relief. To be able to say “I know what it’s like to lose people” and for Vic to know he’s not just talking about heroing. They get closer and closer from there. Their relationship is a weird one, with a lot of compromises to make, but they do the best they can.

The kids don’t particularly mind Bruce going out with Vic. He’s not so much a villain as he is just a guy who’s been dealt a bad hand in life and done the best he could with it. But having around makes the already-cool cave soooo much colder, which isn’t so fun.

Clayface: There hasn’t been an incident with Clayface in years. He’s older, little calmer, little more mature (I like the New 52 plotline of him joining Kate’s crime busting team, but this little scenario works even without that part thrown in). Still, when Bruce hears he’s back in town, he figures he should probably pay him a visit anyway. Just in case he’s planning something. But he goes to the address he was given, some apartment building in Kingston, opens the door, and finds Basil. Not Clayface, Basil Karlo, sitting in a chair by the window reading a paper. “Haven’t seen that face on you in a while,” he says, still unsure if it’s a trick or not. “Oh,” Basil shrugs, unsure if he should be worried about being tossed in jail again or not. “Well, it’s my face. The one I’m most familiar with, takes the least amount of concentration to keep up with. I did make some changes, though, see? Few gray hairs, few lines on my face. Do I look older?” “Yes. It’s a good look.” He keeps checking in with him, cause you can never be too careful, and then because he actually starts to enjoy Basil’s company. Their relationship is one of the more light-hearted ones on this list. They get wine drunk and make out on the roof of the apartment building, very giggly.

“If I learned anything at Arkham, it’s that there are some things that you know are wrong with you, but there are also things that are wrong with you that you aren’t even aware of, and that you couldn’t identify or fix even if you tried.” “One of the psychologists told you that?” “No. I shared a cell with Tetch for a few weeks. That dude is so much more messed up than you realize.”

Superman: Clark calls him up saying something about a mystery in Metropolis that has everyone stumped, and maybe the World’s Greatest Detective wouldn’t mind helping him out? So Bruce drops by to lend him a hand. The ‘mystery’ turns out to be a group of unfamiliar aliens who’re out to get Superman (I don’t care why. Maybe they’re holding some kind of grudge, maybe they’re bounty hunters, maybe they want to sell him off into space-gladiator slavery, whatever). These antagonistic aliens have been very careful in their preparations- they’ve done all the math, and come up with special weapons specifically designed to hit Superman hard enough to knock him out. But they didn’t plan on Batman being there with him, which throws them off just enough that Superman is able to chase them off successfully. In the midst of that fight, though, Bruce takes a hit. A hit calculated for Superman. It breaks several of his ribs and punctures a lung. Clark panics, scoops him up and flies him to the nearest hospital at record speeds. They’re able to stabilize him at Metropolis, and then they send him back to the Watchtower for further treatment. When he wakes up he’s pretty disoriented and confused, but Clark (who had been listening for a change in his breathing and heartbeat from a couple rooms away) comes rushing in, ushering him back to bed and promising to explain everything. Bruce is woozy and wonky enough from whatever drugs they gave him that he lays back down and lets Clark hold his hand protectively without argument. He listens to Clark’s explanation, mumbles something about calling Alfred, and promptly falls back asleep. Clark feels so guilty about his injury that he won’t leave his side for weeks, even following him back to Gotham once he’s well enough to leave the Watchtower.

“God, when will they finally just kiss already,” Jason says, taking cover with the rest of the family in the cave. “I know, right,” says Steph while Tim, Cass, and Duke (and Alfred) all nod in agreement. “SHUT UP,” yells Damian, having a hard time adapting to the idea of his dad and his best friend’s dad getting together

Any Superbat is good Superbat but I enjoy it best in the context of ‘they’re old enough by now to be embarrassed about how angsty and competitive they were when they first met, and they both have huge extended families, and the rest of the JL has been watching them dance around each other for YEARS, JUST KISS ALREADY DAMMIT’

Wonder Woman: I don’t usually imagine Bruce as a flustered kind of guy, but Wonder Woman is everything he wants to be when he grows up and he can’t help it. She’s so effortlessly cool, calm, and collected. And she’s a natural charmer, the public loves her. She always manages to come at things with a fresh perspective that has helped unstick his too-logical train of thought numerous times. She paid him a compliment once and he sat in the batmobile in the parking lot thinking about it for like twenty minutes. One day they get assigned to a League PR thing together that turns into an assassination attempt (surprising no one), but everything turns out ok. Minor damage to the surrounding buildings, a few people injured in the mass chaos, that’s all. She goes looking for him after returning from talking to the local cops, and finds him with a toddler girl on his hip, holding hands with her six yo sister, helping them look for their parents. And she just has to stop and marvel for a minute at how soft his voice is??? How the toddler isn’t even crying??? He bends down to hug the little girl bye after returning her to her fam and Diana almost has a heart attack. “I see that the gods have blessed you with an affinity for children of all ages,” she says. By the time he straightens back up he’s Batman again. “What do you mean by that?” “I can never get kids to warm up to me like that in situations like these...I always thought it was because I was just too big and imposing. How did you do it?” “Oh. Well. You know. *gestures vaguely* You just gotta give them what they want.” “And what is that?” “Security. A promise of safety from an adult that they can trust.” She doesn’t quite get it but she watches him, and talks to his sidekicks sometimes. It amazes her how much kindness and love are hidden under that mask of his. When he smiles from the heart he could melt glaciers. So she starts to press, just a little, just to see how he’ll respond. And once she figures out exactly how flustered he can get, too, it’s all downhill from there.

Martian Manhunter: This one is literally one of the sweetest, most pure relationship dynamics I think I’ve ever written, which really caught me by surprise! The way I think of it is like this: When they first meet, Bruce is really, really uncomfortable with the idea of having J’onn in his head, so J’onn tries to keep telecommunication with him to a minimum. So when Bruce gets his attention during like a meeting or something and subtly lets him know he needs to talk, J’onn knows it must be important. So he opens up a private channel and helps Bruce deal with whatever it is (I don’t know exactly what that would be, only that it’d be some kind of sensitive topic best kept between the two of them). And over the course of that, all those one-on-one mind convos, Bruce starts to get used to talking like that with J’onn. In return, while they’re working together, he helps J’onn get used to human physical contact. It starts with small things- handshakes, little pats on the shoulder- until J’onn is comfortable returning them. One day J’onn has a bad day and it’s Bruce that comes to find him, to comfort him. He doesn’t really say anything, just puts his arms around J’onn and holds him close. Most humans- and hell, even most Martians- wouldn’t have done that for him. What else was J’onn supposed to do but fall in love with him?

I really liked the scene in JL8 where J’onn was trying to, like, share a memory with Bruce or something, and instead he ended up unintentionally stumbling into some of Bruce’s trauma memories, which freaked both of them out pretty badly. I think that little scene would fit quite nicely into this scenario. Bonus, if it happens in the really early days of the League, it doubles as the moment when J’onn first learns Bruce’s secret identity.

Flash: It’s been a longtime headcanon of mine that Barry is very active in the Central City community, not just as Flash, but as himself, too. Namely, he spends a good deal of his free time volunteering with the local homeless shelter slash food bank. I mean, come on, just by the very nature of his powers, is it any surprise that he has a vested interest in ending hunger in his community? One day he stops Bruce in the hall in the Watchtower, and clumsily explains that he needs to ask a favor. The shelter has been looking to expand their operations for some time, but right at the last second one of their backers pulled out. They’re short 7k for the payment on the property they needed to make tomorrow, and Barry didn’t know where else to turn to get that much money that quickly. He promises to pay him back, somehow, eventually. Bruce cuts him a check right there for 10k, and tells him to consider it a gift. Later he even publicly endorses the program on social media, saying he thinks Gotham should implement something similar. Barry invites him down to see the building he paid for, so Bruce rolls up his sleeves and spends the day volunteering with him. It’s a chance for both of them to see a side of the other that they’ve never seen before. Bruce watches Barry shine like a ray of sunshine, bringing light and laughter to a room full of people at their very lowest. Barry watches Bruce inspire trust and confidence in complete strangers, like magic. Not to mention, that smile- Barry tries not to use his powers out in the open if he can avoid it, but he discreetly flashes over to stop a tray or something from falling, and of course it doesn’t escape Bruce’s notice. He grins at Barry from across the room and Barry’s heart fully stops for a second.

I like to think of Bruce as a little older than Barry. Just a little, just a few years. Just enough that Barry always feels like an inexperienced, incompetent baby in the face of The Batman

This one throws the kids for such a loop once they find out about it. “THIS is what you’re attracted to, Bruce? THIS???”

Green Lantern: what I know about Hal is that he’s sassy. And what I know about Bruce is that if anyone he doesn’t have the ability to tell to go to their room is sassy with him, he gets snippy. So he and Hal butt heads a lot. One day Hal is venting to Superman in like, an elevator or something about how Bruce just Doesn’t Get It, Clark, He Doesn’t Understand Me, and Clark says, “well, Hal, can you honestly say that you understand him, either?” And suggests that maybe he should spend some more time actually getting to know Bruce before passing judgement. Hal takes that to mean ‘maybe I should go to Gotham and spy on Batman for a day’. When he spots him doing his best to hide inconspicuously on a nearby rooftop, Bruce rolls his eyes and ignores him. Dick spots him too, though, and invites him to the cave in hopes that maybe they’ll be able to settle whatever their argument was about (Jason, Tim, and Steph break out the popcorn and get themselves front row seats for the Drama). But in the end, an up-close perspective was exactly what Hal needed to realize that there was more to Batman than had been meeting his eye. He watches Bruce juggle ten different comm feeds while giving a press conference AND directing his kids’ efforts in the field at the same time, and he earns a new respect for Bruce. He gets where he’s coming from now, and why he’s always so cautious all the time. The guy has a lot to lose. So he mans up and apologizes. Bruce accepts the apology graciously, says he realizes that they’re fundamentally different people but that he values Hal as a comrade and respects his prowess with the ring, and Hal is like, ‘ah. We Are Friends Now.’ He spends more of his time on Earth with Bruce, and along the way he trips and falls headlong into a debilitating crush on him. Like, a visibly obvious crush. Bruce finds it adorable.

Green Arrow: Bruce and Ollie get invited to the same billionaire shindig one day and neither of them can think of a good enough reason to not go. Ollie’s recovering from a bad ankle sprain, and Bruce hasn’t slept in days, so instead of socializing with anyone else there they just sit in the corner and hang out with each other. Midway through the event Bruce closes his eyes and does this forceful little sigh through his nose. Ollie knows him well enough by now to know that small outward signs indicate big amounts of internal emotions with Bruce, and this is about as frustrated as he’s ever seen him out of mask. Normally his act is impenetrable. “What,” he asks, imagination running full speed ahead thinking about what might have happened, “what’s wrong?” “Firefly just broke out of prison,” Bruce growls, reaching for a refill of whatever he’s drinking. “Wh- Wait, who?” “Pyromaniac, serial arsonist in Gotham.” “How exactly did you learn this?” (read: do you have some kind of spider sense I don’t know about?) Bruce just gestures to his microscopic earpiece. Ollie offers, probably against his better judgement, to take a trip to Gotham and help catch Firefly. Bruce, barely able to see straight at that point (bad combination of sleeplessness and alcohol), accepts. So Ollie gets the full treatment, a trip to the cave and tea from Alfred and a haranguing from the kids and a trip to Blackgate with Firefly, even. In return he offers to have Bruce over in Star City sometime. Ollie is usually a little on edge around Bruce, but then he starts to see the real him and finds out that he does, in fact have a sense of humor. They have goofy adventures together and it’s all very cute

Aquaman: Arthur is hotheaded and when he gets in a Mood, the sight of Bruce and his stupid unmovable face just makes him angrier. But once during a mission, when Arthur is busy working himself into a panic, not knowing what to do, it’s Bruce that snaps him out of it. Grabs him by the shoulders and demands that he get a hold of himself. And it’s enough of a shock that it actually works- Bruce tells Arthur the plan, and Arthur does it without argument. No one is more surprised when it works than he is. He is SHOOK. Eventually he swallows his pride enough to go up to Batman and admit, “I think I’m still too emotionally invested in this, can you help me?” Bruce agrees, of course. He does his best to explain how he always keeps his emotions in check, especially when lives are on the line. It occurs to Arthur to wonder what kind of toll that takes on a person. He decides that Bruce could probably use a little vacation of sorts, and invites him to spend a day with him in Atlantis. A day in the life of a king, if you will. Bruce rolls his eyes and agrees, just to play along, but he ends up really enjoying it. Yes, there are a dozen-odd irons in the fire waiting for him when he gets home, but this time he finds that he actually has the energy to deal with them for once. Which is a good enough excuse to go back and do it again, and spend more time with Arthur in the process.

Dami is usually super resistant to Bruce dating anyone, but he would be ok with Arthur, I think. Like, “you bagged a king? Ok, respect”

Extra notes:

I feel like a lot of my thoughts about Clayface and Martian Manhunter specifically could also apply to Killer Croc, too, in a way. I mean, he’s not EVIL. He’s just never really been treated like a person, and so he embraced his image as Killer Croc instead of continuing to face that rejection. But if anyone can look past his exterior and see the needs of the man within, Bruce could. Feels a little weird to think about but maybe there’s something there.

Polyshipping is GREAT may I interest you in some ot3s??? SuperWonderBat is one of the more obvious ones, and I love it (cause Diana gets to play with TWO flustered boys) but BatLanternFlash is also top tier. And then there’s the villains! RiddleBatCat is one of my favorites! Also TwoRiddleBat and BruHarlIvy. The possibilities are endless!

I considered adding Lex and Slade to this post, but in the end I left them off. Cause it’s hard for me to see those as anything but weird, inherently unhealthy relationships. They’d make great black ships though : o

When talking about Bruce dating someone else from the JL, there’s DOUBLE the kids to embarrass. Can you imagine you’re like, Roy Harper or something, somebody’s sidekick, and you walk in and find BATMAN in bed with your mentor???? WILD

This post really got away from me, haha. Thanks for reading! Hit me up if you ever need someone to talk about Batshipping with (especially rarepairs, I got you fam)!

[diyunho]

The Joker x Reader - “Trapped” Part 3

Almost one year ago, someone tried to kill The Joker in a speeding car and Y/N pushed him out of the way, getting hit instead. With a fractured skull and broken bones, she was out of business for 6 months; when she finally recovered, The Queen of Gotham wasn’t the same anymore. Trapped inside her own mind and exhibiting severe cognitive impairment, Y/N’s life switched upside down without any hope of ever returning to normal.

Part 1       Part 2     Part 4     Part 5

Same day, later in the evening

“What are you doing, Pumpkin?” The Joker crawls next to you although he has an idea about why you look upset.

You’re on your tummy scribbling on a piece of paper and he can tell you are concentrating hard while working on the current project: writing down your name. Only got the first three letters then the rest went blank.

“I….I can’t think…” you intensely stare at the blue pen in between your fingers.

“Of course you can!” J reaches over so he can guide your arm since it’s clear you need help. “There you go… done. Now try to copy it bellow, alright?”

“Hm?”

“Try again Princess,” he taps on the sheet and watches Y/N struggling to imitate the word. “Well done!” The King of Gotham praises. “Wanna give it a shot with a few more simple words?”

“Mmmm…” you debate. “OK?...”

You analyze The Joker’s movements as he depicts four letter words, one of them getting your attention in particular.

“Love?” you smile, happy you deciphered the meaning.

“Yes, a basic…”

“Love?” you scoot over, more and more excited and it clicks for your boyfriend.

“It’s just an example for you to exercise and relearn how to write, understand? It doesn’t mean anything!”

You giggle and touch his nose with yours.

“Love!”

“No Pumpkin! I don’t love you, how did you get such atrocity from my note??!! It has no hidden meaning! I barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of like you and that’s it!”

You snicker and quickly slide to grab the yellow teddy bear, whispering in its ear:

“Love.”

“Aren’t you listening Princess?? Don’t start fake rumors!!”

Still…Y/N lives on her own little planet and her damaged brain grasped a wonderful concept despite The Clown vehemently dismissing his actions.

“Serves me right for being supportive,” he grumbles and resorts to diversion, the best weapon against your new found logic.

“Wanna read to me?” he points at the pile of children’s books resting on the nightstand: they are the best to use in your present circumstance.

“… … Read?... ” you ask, confused.

“Here,” J picks a random publication and gives it to you.

Might as well fully take advantage.

“Spoil me!” he buries his cheeks in your cleavage, guiding your free hand towards his green locks.

You never figured out how he doesn’t suffocate with his face glued to your skin; sometimes he sleeps like that for hours. Must be a special talent.

“The … ummm… the…. The duck…” you read the first page and massage his scalp, frowning at the words you can’t make sense of. “Cross… … crossed?...”  

“Yeah,” The Joker’s mumbled voice agrees.

“… the… g-glass…” you stutter at the sentence.

“Grass,” J corrects you.

“Hm?...”

“Grass Pumpkin, not glass.”

“Ummm… grass…” you continue to read the best way you can and he rectifies your errors until no more sounds emerge: The King is softly purring, a clear indication he’s dreaming.

You toss the book on the floor, fed up with the difficult task of organizing your thoughts; pampering him is better. You slowly tilt his head backwards so you can kiss him: The Joker frowns in his daze and you pinch his butt, chuckling.

“What is it?” he opens one eye and you pull down on his boxers. “Princess, we had sex an hour ago. Do you think I run on batteries?” the complaint is fast to follow.

... … … Batteries?... …                                            

You jump from the bed and stump to the closet, fumbling around for a couple of minutes before returning to a puzzled Clown.

You stretch the elastic of his underwear, dropping two batteries you snatched from the flashlight inside.

“How… how long do we w-wait?” you innocently ask.

The Joker bites his lip, attempting to contain himself yet he can’t: he bursts out laughing at your quirky solution while dragging you on top of him.

“You’re the funniest and smartest person I know, Pumpkin!” he cracks up, actually convinced he’s telling the truth. “Who’s my clever girl, huh?”

He’s talking about a girl again…What girl?...

Y/N peeks behind her and J reminds his baffled half:

“For God’s sake, Princess! I’m talking about you; you’re my girl! Can you get my phone?” he gestures at his mobile ringing by your pillow.

You give the cell to J, ignoring his conversation with Frost: you keep kissing him with the sole purpose of getting undivided affection.

“I guess Adam is here to pick up the cars you damaged,” he finally ends his chat. “Let’s go supervise the process. Don’t be disappointed, Pumpkin, we’ll have fun later. It’s your fault for destroying my collection!”

****************

The Joker watches his crew sweeping the concrete in the garage: broken glass, pieces of metal and debris scattered on the pavement after his vehicles were hauled inside huge trucks in order to be transported to Adam’s workshop for repairs.

“Thanks a lot, Y/N!” he growls, frustrated.

“Y-you’re welcome,” you serenely reply without a care in the universe.

“You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me, Princess!” he huffs at your indifference.

“Love,” you confess to the fluffy toy squished in your embrace.

“I heard that and it’s an aberration! Why do you keep persisting with this nonsense?! I’m literally stating the opposite!” J admonishes but who’s listening to him?

Not Y/N.

“Nolan is texting me,” he changes subject. “He wants me to meet him at his warehouse to inspect the boxes of ammo for the deal. Will you accompany me?”

“Hm?”

“Car ride?” The King of Gotham simplifies his request.

“U-hum!” you nod, preparing to enter the purple Lamborghini which luckily wasn’t in the garage when you smashed J’s cars.

“Frost, if you see me parked up the street in the driving alley, don’t come investigate, got it? This woman’s been pestering me for extracurricular activities, might not make it inside the mansion.”

“Of course, sir!” Jonny finds it wise to consent to his boss’s rambling.

“Tell everyone: if the Lamborghini’s rockin’, don’t come knockin’!”

**************

You’re sitting on J’s lap, completely blocking the arrangements happening at the table: you’re more preoccupied with your game than whatever it is they are negotiating about.

“What are you playing, Y/N?” Nolan curiously inquires because your thumbs are surely moving at a crazy speed on your cell’s screen.

“Hm?” you stop and gaze his way.

“What are you playing?” the man repeats.

“Mmmmm… Tetrixx Bricks.”

“What level are you on?” Nolan leans over, his eyes getting big at the revelation. “Holy shit, Y/N! How did you make it this far??! I’ve been striving to pass level 98 for a month!”

“She’s smart, that’s how!” your boyfriend sassily underlines.

“Do you think that you can help me?” the guy slides his phone in front of you.

“I’m sorry, is this a gaming party or a business matter?!” The Joker scoffs.

“Well, we’re pretty much done: we accepted the terms, we just have to move the merchandise in the morning.”

You are already matching the colorful blocks on Nolan’s game, his face ecstatic when the obnoxious song announces with great fanfare: “Level Up!”

“Holy cow!!!!” he shouts and you return his phone. “Thank you!”

“Hey Y/N,” one of the mobster’s henchmen dares to voice his demand. “Would you help me too? I’m stuck on level 76.”

“I’m dead on 105,” another goon mumbles under his breath, stepping in the line forming to your left.

J would normally cut off this useless waste of his precious time yet he can’t deny the gratification building up in his heart: heavens knows how it feels to be trapped inside your own mind and his girl has definitely battled unimaginable odds to be where she’s at right now.

Living with cognitive impairment is not easy, but she’s still here and it beats the alternative.

“Good job, Pumpkin!” The Clown boasts at the long string of cell phones parading through your fingers while you aid Nolan’s team leveling up on Tetrixx Bricks.

And somehow his hands are holding you tighter, not even bored with the random outcome of his meeting.

**************

You escaped on the terrace for a break and J is discussing the last details with your host: tomorrow you have a routine checkup, thus he has to wrap it up soon.

“Out of my way, half-wit!” Derek aka Nolan’s oldest son pushes you. Would he have done it if you were the same individual from almost a year ago? Nope. Apparently he believes he’s entitled to take advantage of Y/N since she’s alone outside.

“Why did Mister Joker bring you anyway?” he lights up a cigarette, annoyed. “Stupid monosyllabic bitch!” he ogles your summer dress, swiftly lifting it. “Are you wearing diapers?” he chuckles as you walk backwards, trying to process what he’s throwing at you. “Come on, show me!” he approaches and carefully scouts the premises to ensure you two don’t have company.

Perhaps the neurons in your brain are overcharged for the moment; nevertheless, they warn of imminent altercation: the dude’s a total douchebag.

“Are you shy?” Derek grins. “C’mon, lemme see!! Oooohh…fuuuuck…” he bends over in pain when your knee unexpectedly kicks him in the crotch: you used all your strength and he drops down, curling up in a ball. “God…dammit!” Derek shrieks at the defense he didn’t anticipate.

“I…I’m not wearing diapers!” you stammer and because he landed on the edge of the pool you roll him in the water also.

The loud splash makes The Joker wave at you, glad he eventually found you: he’s been searching around the warehouse for the last 5 minutes.

“There you are! Quit playing around, Pumpkin; we have a swimming pool at home!”

You rush by his side eager to bail before the asshole pops up from the bottom of the pond.

“Sushi for dinner?” J suggests and Y/N is not the type of individual to reject one of her favorite dishes.

“I…I love sushi,” you smile elbowing him. “Love.”

“Don’t start with me again!” The King barks at your obvious hint.

*************

“Are you eating the last piece?” he glares at your salmon roll.

“No,” you offer the treat to him. “You…you need it more,” Y/N verbalizes her concern regarding his well-being.

“Can’t disagree, Pumpkin. You exhausted me you naughty girl,” J pretends to be super tired. “What can I do? Princess wants, Princess gets,” he inhales, resigned.

You’re not focusing on his whining: frankly, your intellect has been challenged enough for today. You cuddle in his arms while he chews on his food and watch TV without paying attention to the movie.

“Don’t forget tomorrow morning you have your doctor’s appointment,” J mentions. “I have to stay and wait for the guns I purchased from Nolan; you’ll have to manage without me. I’ll send an escort, deal?”

“U-hum.”

“Don’t yawn, Pumpkin. I’m the one that should yawn,” The Joker scratches his thigh. “This move sucks,” he pouts and turns off the TV. “I have a better idea,” he chooses a kid’s book from the stack. “Read to me.”

You open the textbook and although your brain is overwhelmed, you still make an effort for his sake.

“Mmm… Rainy… sky… Skies?...”

“Yup,” he turns on his side and nuzzles in your hair.

“Float over…hmm… t-town…”, your voice echoes in the room, soothing a worn out Joker.

Strange he can’t properly rest unless you read to him: after all J barely, from very afar, remotely, not even similar to love, sort of likes you.

Also read: MASTERLIST

You can follow me on Ao3 and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

[thirsty4theextraordinary]

Everything Burns - Chapter 12

Pairing: Ledger Joker X OC

Warnings: gun violence, knife violence. 

Word count: 2262

Previous Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 l Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

Chapter 12: Memorial Fun

The memorial service of the commissioner was the next day and per Joker’s instructions, Scarlett was attending as a civilian. 

She was meeting The Joker and the others there. She knew he would be hiding as an honour guard, having used the dead Melvin's abandoned apartment as a place to hide the men, whose clothes and guns they had stolen. 

She had left late last night to go home and be ready for the morning, after a quick roll around the bedroom with The Joker of course. She wore a black simple black suit, a white blouse and a hat so as to cover her face. She didn't want to be recognised today, explaining her eyes would be difficult enough, besides the fact that according to work and many others she was supposed to be in England at that moment.

She placed herself in as close to the front as possible hiding herself amongst the crowds of Gotham civilians, she knew she would have to wait for The Joker to find her, she was his getaway driver as he didn't want to go with the goons and her bike was the quickest getaway vehicle for the situation.

She searched for him in the group of honour guards but she was too far away so unable to see detail clearly. Plus she had never seen him without his make-up and she was sure he wouldn't be wearing any. She peered up at the window that she knew to be Melvin Whites, she knew at some point soon the police or the Bat would be searching it in connection with the deaths. Armed police stood on every fire escape of the buildings surrounding the memorial service.

Her ears perked as she heard the news team filming not far away.

"With no word from Batman, even as they mourn Commissioner Loeb these cops have to be wondering if the Joker will make good on his threat in the obituary column of The Gotham Times to kill the mayor". She almost laughed did they not know by now, The Joker was a man of his word. 

She pulled her hat a little lower as Harvey passed by with the Mayor and a few other of Gotham's elite. She looked up once he had passed, and the parade of bagpipes and police officers passed by, it was all very grand, but inside of Scarlett, a storm was brewing. Her stomach knew something was about to happen and was causing her to feel slightly sick as she shivered with anxiety.

The Honour guards were standing stock still and she tried to see if she could spot him to see if he was as nervous as she was but none of the guards were moving, he was playing his part well. But then they all were. She knew that all the honour guards were upstairs in that apartment, the ones standing in front of the stage were The Joker and his goons.

She held two bike helmets in her hands and they kept clinking together as she shifted uncomfortably in her spot. Finally, the parade stopped and silence came over the crowd, people clapped as the mayor came to the stage and began to ramble on. She peered around the crowd making sure to have a sure way to her bike through the crowd once they all started to panic.

"Commissioner Loeb dedicated his life to law enforcement and to the protection of his community." the mayor drawled on and Scarlett rolled her eyes. Her anticipation was getting intense and she wondered how long The Joker would wait.

"I remember when I first took office and I asked if he wanted to stay on as commissioner and he said he would, provided I kept my politics out of his office." The mayor said and there was a slight rumble of a laugh that echoed through the crowd.

"Clearly he was not a man who minced words, nor should he have been. A number of policies that he enacted as commissioner were unpopular. Policies that flooded my office with angry calls and letters but he did not succumb and these policies helped make Gotham a better place. He may not have been a popular man but that was his sacrifice to our city. And as we recognise the sacrifice of this man we must remember that vigilance is the price of safety." The mayor said and Scarlett's stomach did a flip, she knew there wasn't long now, she pulled off her hat and readied herself ignoring the strange look the woman next to her gave her when Scarlett dropped her hat to the ground and left it there.

"Stand by. Honour guard!" called the leader of the honour guards and that she knew to be a goon of the Joker, Scarlett's could now feel her heartbeat in her head.

"Attention. Port arms." the leader called and the honour guards raised their guns to an upright position.

"Ready!"

"Aim!"

"Fire!"

The honour guards fired just as they were meant to and Scarlett felt a sudden anti-climax, she wondered if maybe he had got caught up and the men there were in fact real honour guards. She stared around for some kind of answer but the honour guard were raising their guns again.

"Ready!"

"Aim!"

A shot was heard but it definitely wasn't the honour guards and she looked up. The blind to Melvin's apartment was now open, he had timed it. Of course, he had to so the armed police would be distracted when he took his shot. How could she have ever doubted him?

She turned her head quickly back towards the front where the guards were about to take their second shot, but one near the middle turned and aimed his gun at the mayor before a shot was heard and everyone started to scream.

Gordon had jumped in front, the mayor was okay but there was no time to dwell as the crowd around Scarlett began to panic. She tried not to get pushed away from where she needed to be. Desperately she tried to spot him through the swelling crowds that were jostling her around. She saw one of the honour guards get shot in the leg and fall down and she began to panic. She needed to get him out now. Suddenly she spotted him, he was slightly hunched over as he made his way through the crowd, she hardly recognised him without the make-up.

"J!" she shouted he spotted her making a beeline, she handed him a helmet before she pulled on her own and lead him quickly to the bike, he pulled off his honour guard cap his lank green locks falling to his shoulders as he pulled on the helmet, she jumped onto the bike and started the engine once she felt the weight of him on the bike she took off.

"Good job Jester," he said as his arms slipped around her waist and she laughed slightly.

"Thanks, Jack" she replied and she heard him laugh.

"So you killed Gordon, not the Mayor," she said and she felt him shift his weight slightly as she weaved through the heavy traffic.

"Oh well, at least someone's dead," he said and Scarlett laughed.

"I gave one of the goons a nice name badge. Hopefully he gets caught, wouldn't want to waste a good joke," he giggled and Scarlett laughed again.

They arrived back at the warehouse before the others and The Joker pulled off his helmet and went inside. She followed quickly like a lovesick puppy, pulling a bag with her costume and some clean underwear out of the seat of her bike.

She followed him without speaking as he made his way up the stairs and to his bedroom in the back. He shed the most of his costume as he entered before he turned to her.

"So what do you think?" he said smiling widely.

"Of what," she asked, a little confused.

"This!" he said, turning his head from side to side, and she understood he meant his face.

"As handsome as ever," she said but he did not seem satisfied with the answer.

"You don't mind?" he questioned and she shook her head in confusion.

"No make-up?" she questioned and he shook his head wildly.

"No, the scars!" he said angrily, before his smile returned and he cackled.

"No, the scars don't bother me," she said and he looked at her, his eyes so brown they were black, and they seemed to stare into her very soul.

"I love you, don't you understand that?" she said as his stare became cold.

"No," he said simply and warily as she approached him like a person does a rabid dog.

“I don't see what everyone else sees," she said as she moved closer to him, he looked at her warily.

"Where they see a villain, I see a genius"

"Where they see horror, I see beauty," she said as she reached him before she reached up and touched a hand tenderly to his scared cheek. He moved his head into her touch and shut his eyes.

"I love you, Jack. I'm not fooling you or playing a game. To me you are everything. I'd follow you anywhere. You call my name and I fall to your feet. If you asked me to jump off a cliff I would" she said and his eyes snapped open.

"I would never hurt you," he growled and his finger moved to play with the fabric of her jacket.

"I worked out how to hurt Harvey best," he said looking at her, his eyes soft.

"Really how?" she asked.

"Through his girlfriend, but that is not important. I worked it out when Melvin touched you. I realised if someone killed you, it would get to me. And I'm not a good person, so I'd just kill everyone but Harvey maybe that is enough to turn him into who I think he should be" explained Jack and Scarlett smiled.

"You'd care if I died?" she said and he shrugged grunting slightly before she laughed and wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him.

"You're so lovely you know that," she said kissing his scar, causing him to cackle again.

After that, he changed and put on his make-up. The goons were back so Scarlett changed into Jester and came down stairs. The Joker had new men and was inspecting them closely. She had to admit, the Joker attracted a certain type of person, and she liked to believe she was different, but when you looked close enough she was just as mad as the rest of them.

There was a fat one who kept muttering about voices but the Joker shushed him and set about talking to the boys about a new idea. She sat at the top of the steps her long legs stretched out in front of her as she watched it all. A whistle caught her attention and she looked down at a man standing at the foot of the steps. He was one of the new recruits.

"So who are you then, The Joker-E-na" he laughed slightly. Jester stood and jumped down the steps to stand by him, in her boots, she was taller than him and she smirked as she held out a gloved hand.

"Jester," she said he took her hand and shook it.

"You're very pretty for a clown," he said looking at her chest.

"My eyes are up here" she growled and he laughed.

"Yes, but I like this bit of you better" he laughed and her lip turned up in disgust.

Without much thought, her foot launched up and into his crotch with as much force as she could muster. He fell to the floor with a scream of pain and cradled his crotch with both hands.

"You fucking bitch!" he shouted and she laughed loudly at him.

She launched herself at him jumping up and down on his pain stricken body, laughing maniacally the whole time. The Joker looked over and smirked as he watched Jester pull a knife from her boot and sit down heavily on the man's chest.

Jester pulled his arm out in front of her, so it was flat on the floor.

"Now really I should kill you for what you did but I feel we may need you, so..." she sang as she began to carve deep letters into his arm, he screamed and began to struggle under her weight but she stayed firm. 

As he struggled the knife dug in deeper and she cackled.

"The more you struggle the worse it will be" she giggled as she continued to carve the letters into his arm.

When she was finished the man seemed exhausted and she sat back to admire her handiwork. The word 'PERVERT' was carved into his forearm in large bloody letters.

"Well that was fun," she said looking down at the man who had gone very pale.

"Jester" called the Joker and she looked up innocently at him, her emerald eyes big and guiltless. She smiled sweetly at him.

"Are you playing nicely?" he asked laughing slightly.

"Of course, we're having fun," she said nodding her head and fluttering her eyelashes at The Joker who began to cackle.

"Aren't we?" she prompted the man she was still sat on but he made no response. She began to bounce until a groaning noise was emitted and she looked back up at the Joker.

"See. Fun" she said and he cackled again.

----

Thanks for reading, Please reblog if you enjoyed it. 

[bluebellhairpin]

Killer Queen (2)

Bruce Wayne X Single Mother!Reader

Part One || Part Two

A/N: Some people wanted a part two, and I’d originally planned for this to have a part two to begin with, so here it is! (LMAO it’s another long one!) - Nemo

Summary: After the gala you were at with your adopted son was crashed by the Joker and his clan, you were taken in among the hostages. After everything is settled, none other than Bruce Wayne decides to take you under his wing for the night.

Masterlist  

Harley Quinn was smiling at you, with the Joker looming behind her on the venues stage, her words took a few moments to process. 

"I found one!" she'd said, and in a moment you were worried she'd take Maven away from you. But in your confused processing daze, she grabbed your arm, pulling you with her towards the stage to be placed with the others that had been collected. 

Maven screamed out your name, but before you could tell him to stop, to not run after you, a woman nearby gathered him into her arms. You saw a set of twins cowering behind her now crouched form; she was a mother too, and must've known you wouldn't want him following you.

You decided, if you lived, you'd thank her, and you'd become very good friends. 

As you finally reached the stage, the others were all being tied up, arms behind their backs and all that. Typical hostage situation. Casting a glance behind you, you suddenly had a horrible feeling that the pool of water behind you was no longer just for show.

"Now that we have the prettiest and most precious doves of the flock-" "It's called a dule." the youngest Wayne boy muttered, having been the last aside from you being picked, he was therefore at the end of the line up next to you. You sent him a glare, wordlessly catching his eyes and telling him that now really wasn't the best time for being a smart-mouth.

"-I have a proposition to make." Joker said as he stopped pacing to face you, "Ever heard of 'The Hunger Games'?"

You didn't say a thing, only swallowing hard as the feeling that you were staring into the eyes of real monster settled into your belly. 

"Well, for those that haven't, I'll explain. Mind you, this is a little different to the Hunger Games you might know." Joker started, now turning to speak to the crowd as if hosting a games show. "One of our precious, delicate little doves, will serve as a tribute. The tribute will  come with Harley, the others... Will die!" he finished with a cackle.

An uproar started in the line up. The woman from before along with another model-looking woman instantly started blubbering out reasons why they should be 'tribute', while the man in the line up said to take the mayors daughter as 'tribute'. 

The mayors daughter, who you think you remember name was something like Jean, just stood in silence, the only give away to her feelings were her teary eyes and quivering chin. 

Next to you, Damian was stone-faced and completely un-readable. In fact, he almost looked bored. Why wasn't he worried? 

"Oh, quit your bickering. Darling Harley already picked our tribute to come along for a fun little ride." Joker said, smiling widely at you, the act sending shivers down your back. You shook your head.

"No, I won't! I'd rather die." you said, stepping out of line slightly, only to have Harley roughly pull you back to your spot. 

"You don't have a choice!" Joker laughed, "But they all do! You've given me a wonderful idea!" he said, sweeping his arm over the crowd. "They can bid on who else can live! That way you won't be so lonely in your cage." 

"We're not for sale!" you said, turning the Joker back on you. His eyes turned wild, and in an instant he had you pulled out of Harley's hold and closer to him, a knife right up to your neck.

"Speak again and I'll make your dream of death come true." he hissed. "You kill because you're a coward," you started quietly, partly from fear, and partly because of the sharp slice of instant death being held right on your throat. "You crave chaos when it belongs to you, but fear order when it's against you. You're scared of the people of Gotham rebelling against you, and that's what makes you a coward." With your words came a flash of almost sanity, but it didn't last long. But before he could speak, you spoke instead. 

"That's why you fear the Batman." Instead of killing you for your accusation, Joker laughed.

"If I fear Batman, why am I here? He's in this room, I know he is." Beside you, Damian stiffened, only slightly, and only enough for you to notice.

"If you know who he is, why haven't you gone for him instead?"

"Because going after people slightly closer to him is more fun." Joker said, smiling as if you were just a child learning the ways of the word. He smiled as if that was the obvious answer. "Now enough of your stalling, onto the bidding! Who'll it be first?"

"Twenty-five million for everyone." Bruce Wayne said, stepping forward through the crowd. You expected his other sons to follow, but they didn't. In fact, searching the crowd, you couldn't see them at all. Something was going on.

"Ah now Brucie, did I say that was how it works? I don't think I said that. That's not how it works!" Joker said, jumping off the stage to come face to face with Bruce. You felt Harley's grip return to your arm, and you knew if you did what you were planning to, you needed to do it quickly and in a way that she wouldn't notice. 

While Bruce and Joker had their testosterone-fest, you tried to get your bracelet over towards the lock that had been put over the chains they'd tied you up with. The bracelet had some more pointed and sharper edges, and you figured that it's serve as a half-decent make-shift lock-pick. 

Over time you'd faced a fair few kidnappings and locked doors. This lock wasn't a new one, in fact it was almost comical how easy it'd be to pick, but then again, you were being held hostage by clowns.  With the lock undone, you rested it in your hands to stop it clattering to the floor. You shifted on your feet, your body movement rocking the chains masking your fingers taking the lock away from the chains. You had to stop the proud smile reaching your face. 

Next to you, you saw Damian had done something similar, only with his cuff-links and not a bracelet. 

You'd expect being a Wayne he'd have to deal with being kidnapped from time-to-time too. But now how would you get away? 

"You really aren't getting it, are you Mr. CEO?" Joker said, standing with his hands on his hips before  turning and throwing his hands in the air. "It doesn't even matter anymore, I hate the bidding idea now. Just kill them!" 

But before Joker even finished his sentence, smoke bombs fell through the windows from above, covering the stage and everywhere with Jokers goons with a thick haze of grey. 

You took the chance, freezing your hands completely and turning, taking Harley by surprise and landing a right hook right on her temple, knocking her right to the ground. You looked down at your hand, seeing it already a little red, and aching from the blow. You hadn't had to punch someone like that in a long time.

Beside you Damian had made quick work of his capture, and had already started on setting others free as their captures disappeared into the smoke. You decided that was a  good idea, but then it stuck you. In the chaos Maven could get lost. 

Back from when you first met him he was the one who wanted to go get help when his real parents needed it, even though it was dangerous, and since the last he saw of you was you needing help, he might’ve gotten away from the woman and come to  find you. 

By now the smoke was clearing. From you point on the edge of the stage you saw the doors had been unlocked, so only very few of the crowd remained. The GCPD had arrived, and made it inside, officers now starting to drag away the remaining of Jokers knocked-out goons. You turned to see Harley had gotten away, the punch you served seemingly only really causing you pain rather than stopping her from doing anything useless to you. 

“Mamma!” Maven yelled, running to you from through the doors. The woman must’ve taken him outside when she could, but got away when he could. You jumped off stage, being mindful of your dress, and surged forwards to scoop the boy in your arms. “You were so brave Ma!”

“So were you, I’m so proud of you.” you said quietly, setting him to the ground and kneeling to give him a once-over. He smiled at you, getting through the ordeal  without a scratch, before his smiled was then directed to something, or someone, behind you. 

You stood and came face-to-face with Bruce Wayne. Maven slipped his hand into yours as Bruce started speaking.

“Are you okay? You came pretty close to both Joker and Harley.” he asked, and you nodded, looking down at Maven with a gentle smile. “Good.” he said, and Damian came up behind him after managing to get away from the other captives. 

“You should come back to the Manor to get looked over by our Butler. He’s dealt with post-hostage situations before.” Damian said without skipping a beat as he walked past your small group to the door. Maven gaped a little before bouncing on his heels.

“Oh Ma, can we?”

“Mavey, I don’t think-”

“No, (y/n), please,” Bruce said, “Damian is right, and it’d be a good chance to catch up.” 

You eventually agreed to join Bruce and Damian back to Wayne Manor. When you asked where his other boys went, he said they went back in another car. You figured that was understandable. 

When you reached the Manor, you went to one of the Wayne’s lounge rooms. Maven had run off under the supervision of Dick and Jason, Bruce assured you he’d be fine, and you believed that, but Damian kept muttering things under his breath about the insufferable-ness of the two, and you had to stop yourself from telling him off. 

Eventually Damian wandered off too and since you hadn’t seen Bruce’s other son or Alfred, the Butler, since you first came, you were left alone with Bruce. 

“Need a refill?” Bruce asked, eyeing your almost-empty whiskey tumbler. You shook your head with a lazy smile. 

“At least not anything this strong.” he nodded, swallowing the rest of his drink before setting the glass on the table between the two lounges you were on, but made  no move to get up. The room lulled into silence, the occasional crackle of the fire or distant footsteps of the others being the only noise, until Bruce spoke again. 

“What you said, to the Joker, that could've killed you.” he said, looking at you with an uncharacteristic softness. You stared right back at him.

“Truth needs to be told, doesn't matter the cost.” 

“And Maven? If Joker had killed you he’d be there and would’ve seen another parental figure dead.” Bruce said, leaning forwards to lean his elbows on his knees. 

“When I first met Maven, he was running to get help for his parents. He told me days later that when they were killed he wasn’t watching. He closed his eyes. He said he figured it’d hurt less.” you said, pulling your legs underneath you and the pile of red fabric that was your dress. “I guess he’d do the same if it was with me.” 

“He’s a brave kid.” Bruce said, watching you with a light intensity. “He’s lucky to have found you. All my boys had the misfortune of having me after their parents disappeared.” 

“I’d think Damian would suffer the most, he’s the only one actually related to you.” you joked, cracking an almost hearty laugh from the billionaire.

“I think the others would agree.” he said, then looked at you with some seriousness. “I think we should meet again. There was too much time between our last meeting and tonight.”

“Well, in the world of business you can just call my assistant-”

“No, (y/n). I meant like, casually.” you let out an ‘oh’, cheeks heating from your own ignorance and Bruce’s lack of subtlety. 

“I don’t see why not.”