#Gale would be so proud of me for getting through it

[blueberryspyder]

Me: going into an extremely stressful situation that I’ve been anxious over for a week

Me to myself in the mirror: Gale is gonna be SO proud of you for getting this over with

[twi-liight]

Petty Jealousy ❣

Tav's companions cannot fathom them potentially having other friends. ❥ Astarion/reader, Astarion/Tav, but also Companions/reader. I'm a Tavrem supremacist. ❥ Contains my own personal headcanon for why the companions call them "Tav" instead of their first name, which is justification for me loopholing the eternal problem of xreader writers having to wince when they use "F/N" or "Y/N". ❥ They/them pronouns for Tav/reader!

“Look,” Astarion hisses, “look at that!” 

5 pairs of eyes land on the offender of the night (which, to their surprise, isn’t Astarion) who conversed pleasantly with the leader of their party. A half-elf with a sharp jaw, proud brow, and mirthful eyes looks extraordinarily ordinary compared to their merry band of freaks. 

“Who is that, again?” Shadowheart asks absently. “Tav suggested I rest for today instead of mapping out the Underdark with the party, and the next thing I know, they’ve brought back another little companion.” 

Astarion’s jaw twitches. He snaps out, “Companion or complication?”

Gale crosses his arms, shrugging, used to Astarion’s temper running hot then cold. “His name is Nilmorn - a luthier. Tav took an interest in his wares. He makes a living selling stringed instruments in the Underdark. Strange place to sell such things.” 

Ugh. Astarion sighs, shaking his head. Leave it to Gale to traipse over the obvious. A sharpened mind like his would surely know that this Nilmorn has no place here, if not to be a bloodbag for him to slurp on. Beyond that, what use does this pretty boy have? Nilmorn sells wares that are utterly useless to them. He’s quite boring and one-dimensional, too, a character that strays too much into the side of “moral good” for Astarion to tolerate. 

 “Yes, yes, Gale, but have you considered how strange it is that he has invited himself to our camp?” Astarion flares out his hand towards the wizard, as if handing him common sense on his palm. 

“I,” Gale begins, blinking his wet, beautiful brown eyes at Astarion, “invited myself to this journey, Astarion. I am quite hurt you forgot. I thought what we had was special!” 

“Yes, but you’re weird!” Astarion exclaims. “You’re a freak with a bomb in your body because of your situationship with Mystra! That,” Astarion points an accusatory finger in the direction of Nilmorn, in which 5 pairs of eyes look at him again, “is someone so unbelievably normal he doesn’t even have any, any…” He gestures, articulates with his hands to placate his words. 

“No dubious motives?” Shadowheart offers, a smirk coyly playing on her lips. 

“No complicated backstory?” Wyll pipes in. Astarion’s eyes flicker to him, and irritation seeps into his skin when he finds Wyll smiling wryly, as if the warlock is in on some joke he is not picking up on. “No, I don’t know, god that has let him down in some way, shape, or form?” 

“Certainly no skills for fighting.” Lae’zel, thank the gods for Lae’zel. Her smooth voice hides none of her displeasure, and those sharp, slitted eyes stare across the fire to dig daggers into Nilmorn’s back. “Useless. We have no need for string-ed instruments. Let Tav pick one, and send this half-elf on his way.” 

Yes. Yes. Astarion nods eagerly.

“Hmmm. I almost envy his mundaneity,” Karlach adds,  “but I mean, he’s not that bad, Astari. Man’s just trying to make the world a better place, one string at a time.” 

Astarion almost throws up. He looks to the other companions helplessly. “Darlings. Please tell me you are not going to let Karlach get away with saying something so putridly motivational.” 

Karlach tosses her head back and cackles, much to Astarion's chagrin.

“Something is obviously bothering you,” Shadowheart states bluntly. Her green eyes watch his expression carefully in the firelight; she finds something there, but does not say it outright. With an exhale through her nose, as if it is painful for her to attempt a conversation with him, Shadowheart decides to throw him a bone: “Are you jealous?” 

He does not catch the bone. The bone slams right into his head as he stares at Shadowheart, slack-jawed and scandalized. Him? Jealous? “You must be joking.”

“Aw,” Shadowheart croons, another one of her insufferable smirks toying on her lips, “you are.” 

If he had mindflayer powers beyond reading her reprehensible surface-level thoughts, he would make Shadowheart’s head explode. Or something. 

He must establish his dignity in the group once more. He cannot handle more of this, especially not with Wyll grinning so wide, not self-aware enough that if he did not have a sexy demon controlling his life because he didn’t read the terms of conditions of a motherfucking contract, Astarion would bully him more.

“That is not the point here. Look,” he says. “I am just saying that our Tav is desirable in every way. Physically, we can all agree that Tav is attractive. Yes?” 

Yes. They all nod their heads. 

“Tav is a little strange, but they are our leader, and they got us this far somehow. Who knew caring about other people could go a long way.” 

Yes. They all nod their heads, except Wyll and Karlach, who look amongst the group with sheer disappointment on their faces. “Gods,” Karlach groans into her hand, “we– we need to unpack that later, gang. That’s just really sad.” 

“Lastly, Tav is strong. Strong enough to split apart the mountains and the sky, I imagine.” Strong enough to bury Cazador into the ground, hopefully. “Strong enough to face a god unwaveringly. Strong enough to persevere. Strong enough to be kind, despite everything. Despite what they think, they are charismatic, and they are the entire package. The only person who does not know of their value is Tav themselves.” 

They watch Tav’s lips quirk into a smile as Nilmorn holds a lyre out for them upon his smooth hands. Smooth, no sign of scars, no sign of complications. Just so unbearably mundane. Unbearably good. Unbearably kind. 

Unbearably unaware of their true nature.

Nilmorn does not know why they nicknamed them Tav, despite their name being [F/N]. Their unstoppable quench to loot everything and anything set back their timeline by weeks, no doubt. Reaching into barrels, reaching into the pockets of bandits, reaching into damn silk cocoons, reaching into whatever their curious little hands can salvage. It annoyed Astarion at first, but then Tav would find all of these weapons and armors and foods and coins and books. Normalcies and luxuries that made camp life feel less of a drab and more exciting. 

The gleaming, golden dagger at his side? They found it. The boots, the armor, the enchanted rings and necklaces they either found, bartered, or killed for their companions. Thus - Tav, short for tavara, the word meaning wares and merchandise; a clever little nickname Gale came up for their leader who is too good for all of them combined. 

“Any other party could whisk them away, you know,” Astarion says. “Tav could find a party of good, decent people, unlike any of us, without the mess and complication and hurt we cause them, and leave. Remember, my dears. It is not us who is irreplaceable. It is Tav.” 

How long would Tav tolerate him? Not long, he thinks. Long enough until he has expended his use for them, surely, but not forever. That's why anyone who wants Tav beyond sex or strength is a threat. If he hadn’t seduced his way into their heart, he wouldn’t be here where he stands, with a group of people who make him feel a little less alone. 

No doubt he would be in a cage on the back of a covered wagon that belongs to that disgusting gyr, Gandrel, his chain to Cazador growing shorter and shorter.

Silence. Tense and still. They watch as Tav laughs lightly, eyes alighting with amusement as Nilmorn cracks another joke. 

"You should meet my other companions," they hear Nilmorn offer, "I just know they would love to have you."

Revelation slams into each and every one of them like a magic missile.

“He’s not that funny,” Shadowheart mutters. She bends down, hands gripping tightly around the handle of her mace. “I don’t know why they are laughing that hard.”

“He can try to leave with his head on his shoulders,” snarls Lae’zel, “just say the word, Astarion.” 

Excellent. 

“What-” Wyll turns to Gale and Karlach. “We should stop them, shouldn’t we? There are no implications of this man trying to steal Tav away, he's just being nice, you worthless cunts! This is not fair to him!” 

“We’re in the Underdark, aren’t we? Super deep. Doubt anyone who cares for him will come looking for him.” 

“Karlach!” 

“Astute observation! To make this all a little easier on us, I can most certainly put this man to sleep.” 

“Gale?!” 

“Go on, Lae’zel,” Astarion grins wickedly, “attack!”

“Oh, hells,” Wyll stumbles back, then turns quickly to the other direction towards Halsin. “Halsin! Halsin - they’re trying to murder someone again!” 

❥ Additional links: kofi | ao3

[prismalmelonman]

Touching on Gale, Wyll, and Halsin's traumas being a bit undermined in parts of the fandom

So one thing I notice on Twitter is how some people act about the bg3 characters whose abuses were perpetuated by women.

Gale specifically for this reason (but I will touch on others)bbecause I see him dismissed super often as "can't get over his ex".

But Gale's case obviously be has the line of Mystra being like "she was my muse, my teacher, and then my lover" and sure to some that's a red flag in itself (when it comes to adults I don't really give a fuck about teacher/student) but if you view it from not only Gale's own words "ive been connected with the weave for as long as i can remember"

And that doesn't distract from his genuine love of magic of course. And it also doesn't mean that he's actually been in connection with mystra for an amount of time.

However, if you ascend Gale, and he becomes a god, you get a bunch of new little things. Tara reminiscing of course, but you get a letter from Elminster, detailing that Mystra had Elminster scope out Gale when he was eight!

And sure is that pretty cool that he's a prodigy that got the attention of the goddess of magic at that age? Yes. Mystra is, however, known in forgotten Realms lore to seek young young boys who are in tune with magic to make into her chosen. And from context clues, her chosen can be anything from Elminster and Volo, dedicated wizards who try to keep things in check, etc etc. or they're somewhat of playthings to her.

Minsc also has a conversation where me mentions that weave-touched boys in his homeland were hidden away to hone their craft, then suspecting that it was because of Mystra, given Gale's case.

Gale always seems so proud that he got to bed a goddess, and on the surface, hell yeah, that's cool.

Gale continued to have her attention even as he went to Blackstaff Academy, and Mystra eventually did take him on as an apprentice directly to her, later making him her chosen, and sleeping with him.

The reason it bothers me that people dismiss all of Gale's stuff to just "he can't get over his ex" is because that's is like almost textbook grooming? She was in his life from a young age, shaping and moulding him up as he grew up to be her perfect chosen, rewarding him by sleeping with him, and so on. And then of course casting him away when he has his folly with the netherese orb (and to be fair, it very well could have looked like to her that he was trying to seize the power himself and yes the orb does siphon off weave. That is a problem for the mistress of the weave yes).

But she also tells gale to KILL HIMSELF for her forgiveness.

Gale is much more than "unable to be over his ex" this woman was in his life since he was a kid. She's almost all he has ever known. If course it's going to be difficult for him to 1. Say no to her. 2. Get over the fact that he's lost someone that he spent his literal entire life dedicated to. Honestly if asked, I don't even think Gale would acknowledge or really see that what he went through was, in fact, abuse until it was spelled out in front of him. (Which does happen somewhat with the player character pleading to him that killing himself for mystra's forgiveness is actually horrific and that he should in fact be angry for how he was treated)

Similarly, and this one has been discussed a lot, Wyll and Mizora. Wyll was 17 and actively trying to help his people. 17, in a vulnerable state, willing to do anything to help and prove himself. Mizora very clearly took advantage of him, and regards him as a "pet", refers to him being "leashed", and so on. Personally, I do dislike the sexualization of their relationship, because it very much is also grooming (although a different type. Rather than manipulating and shaping his life from the ground up, she takes advantage of a vulnerable and desperate state to manipulate and contract Wyll into doing her bidding. I won't go too deep I to this one because it has been discussed to hell and back. But I did wanna touch on Wyll's situation as well.

Also, Halsin as well, though that has also been discussed in many retrospectives by a very good friend of mine. Halsin's trauma often get dismissed due to his polyamory, open sexual nature, and his own somewhat diminishing/dismissal of it, which honestly I love the representation of, cause for a while I did that with my own trauma. Halsin was a sex slave to a house of Lolth-Sworn drow, a matriarchal society, where the men are generally used as fodder or for breeding, though male Lolth-Sworn drow can be wizards and rise in the ranks if wizardry, but are limited everywhere else. (Minthara mentions that the third male, and every subsequent male child after third are killed for being"useless"). Halsin often referred to them as "hosts" rather than being captors, (though he does touch on that if the Player Character threatens to sell him back into slavery). Again, everything I'd have to say here for Halsin has entirely been discussed top to bottom by a friend, their link is below!!

Anyway, long story short, I dislike it a lot when Gale, Wyll, and Halsin's traumas and abuses get diminished, even if/when the character themself doesn't see or acknowledge the abuse in the same lens that we, the players, do.

[dragonsfictavern]

In The Wind 

Astarion Ancunin X Reader

a/n: This came to mind specifically because of the scene in 2005 Pride and Prejudice where Bingley is trailing after Jane and touching the ribbon on her dress. So keep that in mind bc it haunts me in the best way

summary: After your tunic gets torn in battle, you and Astarion head to a shop to get materials to get it fixed. Astarion, trapped in thoughts surrounding you, decides to do something to properly show his appreciation

word count: 2k

The day was cool, the breeze blowing through the opened door of the fabric store you and Astarion currently walked through. The others were Gods knew where but Astarion didn’t particularly care where they were. His thoughts were on you. More and more he found that his thoughts always came back to you.

Baldur’s Gate was loud. It has always been loud. Something Astarion remembered specifically. But he found the sound drained out as he stared down at a beautiful ribbon. At first he couldn’t exactly say what about it had caught his attention. What kept it. But upon reflection he noted how it reminded him of your eyes.

Cursing himself under his breath, Astarion threw down the ribbon and glanced away from the pile of fabrics. But just as his eyes lifted from the box, they fell right onto you. You who stood right in the sunlight, whose hair flowed through the wind that passed through the store.

He couldn’t look away from you, once again not really believing that you somehow cared about him. You were so… good. It was honestly almost nauseating. But it was also something he admired about you. It made him want to be better. To be better than what he was before. Most importantly for him. But he couldn’t deny he also wanted to be better for you. To be someone you could be proud to love.

Astarion walked around one of the makeshift aisles of the store. You were busy as you looked over some of the patches of fabric while Astarion was busy as he watched you. He didn’t blame you for not having noticed his stare. You were on a mission after all. Your tunic had been badly torn in your party’s last battle. The tear could easily be mended by you and the enchantments on it could be replaced by Gale if he was going to actually be helpful today.

But Astarion knew you weren’t the most gifted tailor. At least, not better than him. He could do a fine job, he’d been doing it with his own clothing for longer than he’d care to admit. A rare warmth spread through his chest as the idea came to him. When you least expected it, he’d take the fabric from you and fix your tunic before you even noticed it would be missing.

Something in him told him he just had to do this. To show you he cared, at least enough to do something as little at this… and to show you that you weren’t making a mistake as you stuck by him. Astarion closed his eyes as he shook out those unwanted thoughts. Not wanting to think about any of that or what it meant.

When Astarion opened his eyes he’s met with you walking away, a long piece of fabric hanging from your belt. A brief shot of panic ran through Astarion as you walked away, only deeper into the store to pay for fabric. Yet that didn’t shake away the fear. Astarion cleared his throat in order to push down the panic and put it with the rest of his emotions he was ignoring before he headed after you.

He doesn’t say anything, knowing he doesn’t need to. He knows you know he’s there. The wind blew through the store once again and your scent wafted straight into Astarion’s nose. He closed his eyes as he continued to follow you. He relished in the way you smelled. Focused and memorized it, knowing he could pick it out of an entire crowd of people. Aware of the fact that he could find you in an instant if needed. But still he preferred to remain close. Have you stay in his sights.

As he opened his eyes and looked back upon you, his eyes moved down your form. Not stopping until they halt at the fabric on your belt. He hand reached out and lightly fiddled with the end of it that flowed in the air after you. Neither of you have stopped walking, Astarion not thinking as he walked behind you. His attention completely focused on the fabric and the way it hung off of you. On how beautiful it would look on you.

He then noted how soft the fabric was. How easy or difficult it could possibly be to work with. A plan already had formed in his head at how he’d stitch it into your tunic. It would be flawless, just as all his other work had been prior. Just as his thoughts shifted into imagining your reaction, your voice broke him out of it.

“Are you trying to pickpocket me?” You ask softly, not having bothered to check back and glance at him. Astarion blinked back, hand still gripped onto the fabric, though his eyes found their way to the back of your head. Before he realized what he’s done, an easy grin was on his face and a joke had slipped from his lips.

“You, my darling? Never,” Astarion jested, both of them keenly aware of the fact. He gave a little tug on the fabric for good measure and was rewarded with the sweet melody of your laugh. You shook your head as you both turned a corner, seemingly in search of an attendant.

“Oh, don’t give me that. No one is safe,” you teased right back but for some reason Astarion felt his grin drop a little. His brows furrowed as he quickly thought over your response. The word ‘safe’ having run repeatedly in his ear. He wanted you to feel safe. With him. He wanted you to know that you were safe from him. Whatever that meant he didn’t exactly know but it was what he felt. From what he could pin point.

He debated even telling you all this. To have allowed himself to randomly unleash his soul to you in the middle of a random shop in a city that held so many memories for him. But then he started to think about what you’d say in response. How you would react. Emotion begun to rise within him at the idea of admitting any of that to do. So instead he simply continued the light and fun banter.

“Well now I suppose I must for fear that I have something to prove.” Astarion gave another tug to the fabric, though this time a little bit lighter in order to have kept up the playful atmosphere. As your laughter echoed throughout the store due to his actions, all those pesky emotions subsided.

You lightheartedly pranced forward a few steps in a weak attempt to get your fabric out of his reach but Astarion followed right on your tail. Both to stop you from getting away and to stop any other displaced emotions from coming forth from your distance.

“Or you could simply not steal my fabric from my person,” you responded with laughter still in your tone. Astarion tsked as he shook his head at you. He picked up his pace, walking closer to you now. He adjusted his grip on the fabric, getting ready for his next move.

“No, darling, I’m afraid that doesn’t seem to be an option,” he said smoothly before he harshly tugged on the fabric for the third time. It slipped from your belt with ease and curled right around Astarion’s hand. You immediately felt it and a gasp ripped from your throat.

You turned around, finally facing Astarion since you both walked in here. You looked breathtaking. Astarion could marvel at your beauty for hours. At times he’d almost swear it’s greater than his own. Almost. But he especially thought your beauty shined most spectacularly in the sun, and it had hit you just right in this moment.

“Ah, Astarion! Why must you do this?” You asked with a light grin on your face. Astarion mirrored it, holding the piece of fabric slightly above his head as he knew you wouldn’t be able to reach it. That didn’t stop you from trying as you stepped up to him to try and reach for it. Your body pressed against his and instead of feeling like he needed to back away, not wanting to be touched, Astarion found himself leaning into you.

“I believe you practically asked me to do this, love. Begged me to almost as much as you beg for my attention,” he boasted, his expression smug as you continued to try and grab at the fabric. He’d lower it briefly just as you’d reached for it but then quickly bring it back up. You laughed again, shaking your head at him. Astarion didn’t realize until that moment that he had been counting the number of times he had made you laugh. The revelation sent a tremor through his chest that he’d rather just ignore.

“My dear Astarion, I think that tadpole in your mind has finally driven you to insanity,” you said with a light scoff. Astarion’s face dropped into a deadpan at that, though he couldn’t help the quirk of his lips still present.

“Dear me, how humorous you are, darling,” he responded back flatly, though a teasing note was still clear through his tone. His attention zeroed in on you once again as you snickered back at him. Astarion fell deeper into his focus, his ears ringing till he felt a deep pounding surrounding him. He didn’t realize before it was too late that he had focused on your heartbeat. It sounded light. Happy. Because of him.

While he remained distracted, his body sagged in place, not paying attention to his momentary lack of posture. You don’t hesitate to use that to your advantage as with it he had lowered his arm that held the fabric. You reached up, your arm having stretched as far as it could go before you swiped up the fabric right from his grip. A noise of victory left your lips and it effectively alerted Astarion. He blinked back, breaking out of his thoughts. It only took a couple of seconds for him to realize he didn’t have the fabric anymore. He met your smug look with a bit of disbelief as his eyes connected back to yours.

“I try,” you replied playfully to his previous comment as you winked at him. Astarion stood there frozen for a moment before he added another mental tally as you laughed once more. You strode off to barter with the owner as Astarion stood off to the side while he waited for you.

He couldn’t understand how easy this all was for you. How open with yourself you had always been. Especially toward him. He… didn’t know how to do stuff like that. To let you in so easily. But stitching this for you, even without your initial knowledge, that he could do. It was the only way he knew how to express what you meant to him. It was all he was ready to do. For now anyway.

So as you walked past him after you purchased the fabric, Astarion stayed particularly close. As you both entered the hustle and bustle of Baldur’s Gate’s streets, there were a lot of things around you both that served as proper distraction. Astarion struck when the time was right, just as another vendor started a loud argument with a customer, you looked over and that’s when Astarion reached out and slipped the fabric off of you with the lightest touch he could have managed.

He gazed down at it with a smile on his face and a sense of victory in his heart, his thumb brushed over it lightly as he reminded himself of its softness. But when you started to turn your head back to him, his eyes jerked up and the fabric disappeared within the confines of his inventory. You snorted as ruckus that continued off to the side and as you looked at him, Astarion plastered on another one of his signature grins.

It was only after you chuckled at him and looked back forward that Astarion found his grin had softened. He looked toward the streets just as you had as he counted down the minutes till you both got back to camp and he could get started. He wondered if you’d like it and what you’d say when you found out. Most of all though he wondered if you’d know what it meant. If you’d see through him as you always seemed to. Strangely, this time around he kind of liked that thought.

[pythoria]

feeling some feelings about gale tonight *cracks knuckles*; he was a child prodigy, he was in tune with the weave, and inevitably mystra, since he was just a little kid. imagine being so in tune with magic, feeling so comfortable and safe within its bounds, falling in love with something so beautiful as a child. it becomes your whole world. imagine being filled with such childish idealism, such hope, that your only desire becomes getting closer to this thing, this goddess, finding that love and safety and giving it form.

imagine growing up, finally getting the attention of your goddess, how starry eyed you must be, how proud of yourself. this is your whole world, the reason you're alive, your purpose in life. mystra is everything to you, the magic in your veins, the giddy feeling in your heart, the proud ego in your chest. and then she finally *sees* you for the first time, you end up sharing her bed, touching her, talking to her, earning her approval, and, you think, her love. magic is your job, your lover, the motherly embrace of childhood. of course you would try to ascend to be with mystra forever. of course you would want power, so she sees you as an equal. of course you want to impress her, she's all you've ever known.

and then when you fail, when a ticking bomb gets stuck in your chest, you get none of that love and care. she doesn't protect you, she doesn't even talk to you anymore. so you've lost everything you've ever held dear in one fell swoop, the basket you put all your eggs in shattered, and you're left with nothing. you're now a middle aged man, your whole life spent in service of your goddess, who abandoned you at the first sign of free will you've shown. you feel like a failure. you don't have any friends, nor lovers, and you fall from being an archmage to nearly becoming an ilithid thrall. and maybe you realise that were it not for the astral prism, you'd have become a mindflayer and mystra wouldn't have saved you.

maybe you realise she's completely written you off when elminster shows up and tells you she wants you to sacrifice yourself. maybe you think "is this what my life's work is worth? a lifetime of devotion? a second hand missive asking me to die?". but no matter how ridiculous the request, you're in too deep now. nobody would care if you died, mystra made sure you were always focused on her, never making meaningful connnections with other mortals, having no friends, foes, or lovers. if mystra forsakes you, you might as well not exist. so death to serve her might be the best ending you could've hoped for, really.

except along comes someone, and they also have a worm in their head, and you team up, and soon enough there's a bunch of you strutting around faerun, and suddenly someone *cares*. for the first time in years, you actually have... friends? and they're telling you mystra is insane, that you've been manipulated, they tell you that what mystra is asking is too much, that they want you to live. and you're defensive, of course. you still love mystra, and you can't get away from her either, because you feel her presence every time you cast as much as a firebolt, magic running through your veins like ambrosia, nectar and poison all at once. you conjure her face to gaze at, and when you start falling for tav, you show them the weave, because that's the only way you know how to love. eventually you accept that you might have to defy mystra to stay alive and suddenly you have a choice again. but in the process, everything you knew and loved turned to dust, and you had to build yourself back up from the ashes, all while smiling and laughing and trying fruitlessly to fit in with your companions, who find you stuck up and weird after so much isolation.

gale is such a tragic character, if you think about it.

[mashiraostail]

pls pls can i request a jealous halsin x reader/tav scenario … he’s been pining over you, you’re oblivious, and then when he sees some innocent platonic affection between you and another companion, all that pining boils to the surface. mayhaps some nsfw too if you’ll indulge me. pls the way you write him is simply… *chef’s kiss*…. magnifique ✨

hoooraayyy Halsin HOORAY!! I heart making men talk like flowery little victorian women writing letters to their husband say some fruity shit big man! Idk what compels me to make these so long that's why they take forever.

I have another ask like this and maybe I'll write him doing sum primal fuck shit but this was an itch i just had to scratch

It wasn't Gale's fault, it wasn't your fault either, it was his fault. Halsin knows this, he's honestly ashamed, he shouldn't be so easy to sway...he never has been before.

He notices everything, he notices the flirtation, the questions about the life he left behind, the fleeting touches, the way you always go to him when they day is out, you propositioned him, he declined. That was his fault. It wasn't the time, he had business he had to sort before he could indulge himself, and you couldn't hold that against him. He made it clear when he turned you down, it wasn't you, and maybe one day soon things would be different.

Even so, you were always chatting with him, smiling at him, touching him, gods you always touched him. It drove him mad actually, your hand on his bicep, on his chest, on his stomach when he said something particularly funny, you sat so close to him your thighs pressed together, your shoulders and arms, all of it pushed him to the edge. And the way you said his name after you laughed at his joke, "Oh Halsin.." When you see him again after a long day, "Halsin! How'd it go?!" You'd even hugged him, thrown your arms around his neck and shoulders. He'd held the small of your back and laughed heartily with you, maybe a few ales too deep. He swore one day soon things would turn a corner for the two of you.

You doted on everyone though, and you enjoyed closeness with all your companions. Normally he'd be happy to see you sharing your joy with everyone but lately it frustrated him. He wondered what was different, even though deep down he knew. It was you, he didn't want you to himself necessarily, he wanted you to understand how he felt. The more he waited to explain himself the more upset he became, and the harder he found focusing around you to be. He felt like he was always brooding, always lingering behind the group, because the sight of you slinging your arm around Karlach or playfully mussing Astarion's hair made his stomach lurch with uncertainty. He wrote it off as a disdain for societal labels and relationships but he felt unfair even doing that, lying to himself.

He and Jaheria were the last ones to return to camp that day. He was grateful to travel with her alone, though he lamented not seeing you he did not lament the emotions seeing you caused to crop up. When he returned you were sitting on a log by the fire with Gale, chuckling and waving your hands. He'd already begun to feel wary.

Halsin inches closer, he snoops a bit sure, he's not proud of it but he's been alive long enough to accept he won’t always be proud of his actions.

"No!" You sound surprised through your laughter.

"Yes!" Gale's tone was argumentative but warm as you held onto his arms. Halsin bubbled a bit, out of everyone Gale was the most likely to get the wrong idea...or maybe the right one if the way you were squeezing him was any indiction of things.

"Did you really misbehave so terribly when you were younger?? I'll have to ask Tara next time we see her, I don't believe you!"

"Am I so untrustworthy?!" Gale sounds affronted.

"Based on your stories?? Yes! Gale! You are!" You're squeezing him and shaking him so much the pair of you topple over the back of the log you're perched on, Halsin watches Gale kick his legs for a while as you laugh.

"You'll kill me," Gale stands up and dusts himself off, "and the rest of them too!" He gestures to his orb, "I don't know how sensitive this thing is!" He hoists you up by your arm.

"I'm sorry Gale, that was just so funny, I can't picture you a young mischievous wizard at all..."

"Well it's a good thing I grew out of it." He's smirking at you though, impishly. It makes you laugh.

"Did you?" You cover your mouth as you chuckle before reaching out and dusting his hair off, tucking the rouge strands back into place. "I don't know if I believe that either. You've certainly kept your impish charm."

Halsin feels his face warm, he watched the two of you bat at each other like school children. He kissed his teeth, rubbed his calloused thumb over the smooth back of his hand, anything to distract himself from the annoyance rolling over in his stomach.

"Who's to say?" Gale holds his hands up, a faux surrender, shrugging just a bit.

"Go to sleep Gale." You shove him, snickering, "you're delirious."

"Perhaps I am." Gale smiles at you, "goodnight my friend." The words hardly do anything to put Halsin at ease he can practically feel his eye twitching. Whoever said patience was a druidic virtue?

"Sleep tight Gale." When you turn away from him you see Halsin, who to his credit had no real reason to be standing there.

"Halsin!" You chirp happily at him and he feels his chest bloom at it.

"Hello my dear, we're back late today, I apologize. Did you need us?" He tries to squash the growing disdain in his stomach in favor of appreciating you as you appear before him.

"Oh no! Nothing Shadowheart couldn't handle." You wave back at her tent, "How were your travels?"

"They were fine. Unfortunately the Harpers really can't be trusted.." He peers over your shoulder, notices your tent moved to be beside Gales, which had never been the case before.

"I figured as much." You sigh, he watches your eyebrows turn upwards. "That's upsetting. Are you going to clean up for the night?"

"Yes I think I will." He glances to the stream behind camp, no one else was there.

"Can I come? I hate to bother you but I can't sleep, and I think I kept Gale up so long he was hallucinating." Your fingertips brush his arm as you chuckle, he glances down at the point of contact. He feels the skin there heat up as you pull away.

"You're no bother, my dear." He shakes his head, "come with me."

You trot happily behind him, unaware of his stewing just in front of you.

"So, what went wrong with the Harpers?"

"You and Gale are close." Halsin elects to ignore your questions.

"Oh?" You perch on a nearby rock as Halsin crouches by the stream, "Gale? I suppose we are friendly. He's very funny."

"Is he?" Halsin fights to keep his tone even, though you seem oblivious to it.

"Did you hear us talking earlier? I swear the more sleepy he gets the funnier he is." You're giggling, like a school child. Halsin feels his eye twitch.

"I did not hear you, I only saw you fall."

"My fault completely, I was going mad with it, it was so funny, Gale told me that when he was a younger student, at that fancy magic school he snuck into the-"

"Do you..care for him?" Halsin turns to you, still crouched by the running water below him.

"I suppose I do...like him yes." You sound confused, lost, which Halsin supposes is a good sign as you'll only tell the truth.

"You like him?" Halsin is looking intently at you.

"I do, he's..nice.." You look like you're entirely unsure about what's going on.

"You like him so much because he's..nice, then?" Halsin doesn't sound like he's convinced.

"Yes I think so-"

"Do you share a bed with him?" Halsin stands, he walks towards you perched on your rock.

"I-" He almost feels bad for the way a warm flush rises to your face as you look up at him.

"N-no we don't, we haven't. We're only friendly-"

"Do you wish to? Would you wish to?"

"N-no I don't, I wouldn't he...I-" You flounder a bit, "why do you ask?"

"It seemed a certain way." Halsin kneels, face to face with you on your perch, "I worried."

"Why did you worry?"Your holding your hands by your chest, leaning away from him, shocked but not leering, nervous..you were nervous. "Why would it worry you to know I shared a bed with Gale, that I cared for him in that way?"

At the realization of your nervousness he feels guilty, he puts his hands on your thighs, "I should apologize."

"Why?" Your face was flushed, your eyes were wide as you watched him, tried to predict his next move with no avail.

"I was selfish with you. With your time, with your care." He shakes his head, "I beg you to forgive me. To not let this ruin your opinion of me..I acted so poorly...and it..it’s embarrassing and dreadful and I beg for your forgiveness...You gave me a chance to have a piece of you, I turned you away. I know you don't hold that against me. You stepped aside and I am grateful that you did. The curse was my burden to bear, and I couldn't be distracted from it, not by you, or by anybody. You understood that, and I am grateful. Had you pushed me I would have..become distracted with you, I would have followed you wherever you went, and forgotten my duty."

"I understand Halsin. I'm not offended-"

"I know you aren't, and that's why I'm so grateful for you." He looks earnest, "but I selfishly believed that you would hold onto your want for me. That you would wait indefinitely for me to come to you. I held you to an unfair expectation, to the hope that you would not share your heart, or your body, with another. When I saw you today with Gale, I worried that I had given you up, that I had made a terrible blunder and I had lost my chance to have you. Gale does not seem the kind of man to be willing to share you, and I cannot blame him, nor could I blame any other for keeping you to themselves once they've had you."

"Why does that worry you? You did not want me then-"

"I did want you." Halsin insists, "and I do want you now, I've wanted you since the beginning but I knew you would consume me, that I would lose sight of what I was meant to do..but I've burned with it, you have enamored me completely and... brought out the worst in me, I'm useless with it."

"I'm sorry Halsin.." You hold his gaze, and cover his hands with yours.

"And you still apologize as if you have done wrong." He squeezes your thighs where his hands cover, "you have not, I am the one who lost sight of things, lost sight of what I wanted, who I wanted. I was so enamored by the idea of having you I cursed any obstacle in my way, rather than telling you the truth. That was my error. It was my error to believe you would hold onto your desire even after I turned you away, to believe that you would still consider me after I put something else above you."

"I don't understand Halsin.." You blink at him as he lifts your hands, "do you want to go our separate ways? Is this too much- I apologize if I was too forward back then, but we need you-"

"No," His forehead falls onto your knees, "perhaps I am not speaking clearly." He squeezes you again, "I don't want to be parted from you, not now, not ever... I want the opposite," he sighs, "I want you now, if you'll have me, if you can put my behavior..my feelings behind us.I know it was so childish of me. I’m so sorry my songbird..please find it in yourself to forgive me.” He looks up at you, he kisses the back of your hand, “you’ll break my heart if you don’t.”

"You haven't done anything wrong....Halsin.." You shake your head, "if you need to be forgiven then I forgive you, I'll always forgive you, but...I do not think you've done anything that deserves asking for it. We misunderstood each other..."

"You are brighter, and kinder than most, perhaps you're naive... or perhaps you understand things better than any of us." He kisses up your inner arm to the crook of your elbow, "I laid some sort of...childish claim to you, I believed I deserved you, your time, your body, your heart, more than the others, that you would come to me because...I don't know..I'm sorry, forgive me for treating you like a prize to be won, a piece of land to fight over you are...your heart is so much more than that, to me and to everyone that you meet." He barely takes his lips off your skin when he looks up at you and you feel your lungs empty of air.

"Halsin..of course I forgive you..” You barely get it out, you feel so breathless.

His lips pass the bend of your elbow and make their way to your shoulder, your neck, your jaw, his other hand engulfs your waist as he moves you from your perch and pulls you to his chest,

“do you? Really?” He’s at your jaw, "I was too much of an oafish brute to put words to it, to tell you, even when I should have, I adore you, I think so highly of you. I'm so taken by you.."

"I feel the same way Halsin.." You're breathless when you're face to face, your hand holds the nape of his neck, "I thought you wanted to...focus on the more dire things at hand so I left you to them, and when things ended and you didn't come to me I thought perhaps the fascination had passed and I did not want to trouble you again-"

"You did not trouble me then, you do not trouble me now,"  He sighs gratefully as he kisses you, it’s warm, his other hand leaves your jaw to press the small of your back, arching you closer to him.

“I have to have you..I’m worried I’ll die if I don’t.” He’s breathing quickly into your mouth with anticipation, “I need to see you.. All of you and..and feel you I-”

“Oh.” You felt gooey at that, of all the things you expected to happen today this was not one of them.

“And It has to be now you see I- I can hardly put my head on right when I start to think about you like that and it’s all I've been thinking of lately... I doubt I’ll even be able to get anything done properly tomorrow if you don’t set me straight.”

You laugh at that, “okay..” You nod, leaning down to him again, just slightly taller than him perched on his lap.

“Yes?” He sounds so perfectly hopeful.

"Tell me you want me, tell me this is what you want..to be with me..and for me to have you..even after all the things we misunderstood..that you’ll let me bed you, that you want me to..” He looks up at you earnestly, his eyes flickering between yours and you nod.

"I want you, I want this, Halsin, I always have."

He let's out a warbled sigh into your lips at that, already lowering your bodies to the ground, kissing you, sliding his hands into your clothes.

He was quick to uncover you, to toss your clothes off somewhere, to sigh gratefully as you did the same to his, you wondered what had gotten into him, but had no complaints either way.

He was lowering himself between your legs easily, kissing down your chest, lavishing your stomach with attention, unperturbed by the flush creeping down your neck.

"Halsin you don't have to-"

"Please, don't deny me now.." You aren't sure why you thought he would consider this a chore.

He deluged you with loving attention, his hands slid from the sides of your thighs up to the small of you back, pulling you closer and closer to him with each stroke. He groaned when you called his name, when you carded hair through your hands or held his face. Languid stokes of his tongue, paired with the slow curling of his fingers inside you. It felt like he was indulging himself with you, occasionally he pulls away, pressing the tall bridge of his nose to your tender skin, nipping at it, taking in deep breaths of you.

He retraces his path to your lips, long kisses and wide strokes of his tongue over your stomach, open mouthed kisses to your chest and collar, then he's taking your face in his hands, "Please-"

"You don't have to beg-" Your eyebrows draw together, "Halsin, I'm in no mood to deny you."

He guides your legs around his waist and slowly guides the head of his cock into you, a hand caging you in on either side of your head. You hold the nape of his neck, and his chest, begging him closer.

"Is it too much?" He sounds almost nervous, "are you alright?" He watches your chest and stomach prattle with deep, shaky breaths.

"I'm alright," You can barely get it out, "Halsin-" You're keening as he bottoms out. He ducks into your neck smattering loose kisses and bites along your skin.

"You're singing for me again," He's sighing into your skin, pulling you closer to him, "you sound so beautiful like this..." He rests one of his hands on your chest, pressing his thumb gently to the divot between of your collar bones, feeling you suck in deep, needy breaths in time with the rolls of his hips into you. Your skin is red under his thumb, flushed with arousal, nervousness, every time he moans, or pulls you into him he feels his hand rise as you take in a deep breath.

He pulls one of your legs over his shoulder and noses at the soft skin of your inner knee, he can feel your heart beating under his hands, he can feel your eyes on him, sliding down his chest and abdomen, back to his neck and jaw then to his eyes again. His hand rises and falls rapidly with your chest as you chant his name, he free hand guides the small of your back upwards as you arch into him. Your hand holds his on your chest, wrapped loosely around his wrist, your other flutters between his arm and chest.

"I'm here," Halsin breathes it out as your leg coils tighter around him, "I hear you, singing for me." And you were, hopelessly chanting his name between long rolls of his hips and every time you felt his index finger slide down the divot of your spine, "you're doing so well my songbird.." He sighs dreamily at you, as if you weren't coming undone below him.

You wrap both of your legs around him as he guides you up into his lap with the hand on your back, your arms lock around his shoulders easily and he groans into the crook of your neck, "hold onto me, I need you close." You can feel his breath down your chest, warm thankful sighs sliding down the sliver of space between your bodies.

His hand feels worlds larger on your back than you had fantasized, he uses it to guide the roll of your hips into his, his other hand holds the back of your neck, pulling you desperately closer. He sang you praises, pulled you greedily into his chest and kissed you when you cried out particularly loud until you felt yourself tightening around him, coiling in your stomach. You felt your nails dig into the back of his shoulder, he didn't seem to mind.

When it becomes too much, when that feeling in your stomach snaps and breaks you crumple into him, you tuck your head beneath his chin, you practically cry for him. When he finishes, which is hardly a few seconds after you, he drags his hand up you back, over your waist, then presses between your shoulder blades, you hear the hoked off groan that he lets into your hair.

You kiss him again, holding his jaw in two careful hands.

"I'm sorry i've kept you up dreadfully late." Halsin's hands still slide needy over your back and waist, pulling you ever closer to him.

"It's okay it..was worth it I'd say." You laugh, "what's brought all that on? Now, after everything?"

"You didn't notice how I'd been brooding? I'd hardly been myself."

"I thought you disliked the city, I was worried you were going to ask to part from us. Astarion disagreed though he wouldn't tell me his theory."

Halsin laughs a bit at that, and after all the desperation and apologizing, it was a welcome sound, "That was for the best I think."

"Perhaps. Were you really jealous of Gale?" You leer back at the idea, "he's nice and all but he really doesn't hold anything over you."

"I was not jealous of Gale just because you found him to be..nice and funny...there are plenty of nice and funny people here." He lies and looks away from you, which is how you can tell he's lying.

"Ah. I see." Your hands rest on his chest, "sorry I misunderstood then." You're grinning anyway. You swipe his hair off his forehead, and in that moment he decides he was fair to be jealous of Gale, even fleeting touches left him feeling lavished with attention.

"Let's clean off." He turns into your palm.

"Can I spend the night with you, in your tent?" You look up at him as you stand.

"Of course." He's smiling at you, another welcome change, "you don't need to ask. I'm here whenever you need me, call for me and I'll come." He leans down to you, "I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner." His thumb traces the shell of your ear as you kiss.

"Don't worry now, you're dramatic." You chuckle into him, "would you really have died?"

"There was no sense in risking it." He lifts you by the back of your thighs and makes his way to the water with you, "better to be safe.”

[once-in-a-blood-moon]

solomon couldn't stand your pact marks.

well, no, that wasn't the right way to put it. he was proud, even jealous of your pacts. they were one of the many admirable things about you! he just hated... looking at them. he knew what other people thought when they saw them.

when one would see those marks on your skin for the first time, they would be able to get a glimpse at your relationship with the brothers. one of trust and respect, gathered from just a glance. meanwhile, one would have to be told about his and your relationship. one look at you couldn't decipher all the time you two have shared together, filled with chatting between classes, practicing magic for hours, and endless love.

at first, solomon tried to mitigate this with his own marks upon your skin. wearing lipstick as he placed a kiss on your neck, a few stray bite marks from your time together at night. but those, while fun, were temporary. and solomon needed something permanent.

why not a ring?

(Hope you don't mind me adding on, anon. Thank you for the delicious meal! Literally so honored to read your beautiful work! 🥹)

Getting the ring was the easy part. Getting you away from the brothers long enough to propose...was not.

The lengths Solomon went through to be able to have a private moment with you might put him in a record book as the three realms' most whipped man. With the mask of his "shady" persona secured, he lets his silver tongue weave him through these seven obstacles, the sin of each dripping from it with only you on his mind.

Swallowing his pride, breathing in greed, spitting out envy...his wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth. A vicious rinse, repeat until he's either buttered them up or grated them down until they finally gave in. But he did it. With the day cleared of any interruptions, his plans were set in motion.

He decides to have a redo of your very first date, flying you up and walking in the sky amongst the stars. It's just the two of you against the ever inky black sky of the Devildom, a place that has become synonymous with your presence. Only this time, there are no surprise gales, no surprise drones -- just the surprise of a velvet heart-shaped box in the inside pocket of his coat.

Solomon brings up fond memories of your time together as you both near the spot he's picked to pop the question. He's filled with a giddy glee that soon you'll have something that binds you to him, something to show the world you're his.

Still, there's a little voice in the back of his head reminding him that you could say no. That perhaps he's not worthy. Does he deserve to have matching rings adorned on his and your fingers forevermore? Does he dare stand by your side as your equal when you are, in fact, so far above him?

He decides it's best not to dwell on such thoughts as this is meant to be a happy occasion, as long as all goes well.

Your feet touch the ground once he lowers you both on top of a cliff that overlooks the Devildom, the moon hanging brightly above. As you take in the magnificent sight, he lowers himself on one knee behind you, waiting with bated breath for you to turn on your own volition.

The moment you do, he knows he'll have to keep this memory stored away with his magic, just staring in awe. The moon is angled just right that it shines right behind your head like a halo. Your eyes are as wide as saucers while your jaw is slacked. With the way you look, he truly wonders if he's in the Celestial Realm.

Nervously, Solomon begins his improvised speech after clearing his throat, "my dearest apprentice, it is with great honor that I'm knelt before you tonight. I have dreamt of this moment more than I'd care to admit, yet I never thought it'd come true. But here I am, willing to give you all of me, if you're willing to give me all of you. You are the sun to my moon, the air in my lungs, the very reason why I believe I've lived so long. I was always meant to find you and work side by side to protect the human realm together. And most importantly, to love you. So, please do this old sorcerer a favor...by marrying me..."

He pulls out the ring box, opening it to offer you the ring within. The blessed box is shaking as he trembles, waiting patiently for your answer.

Happy tears spring from his eyes once you say, "yes." The ring is carefully slipped onto your finger, and a single word comes to Solomon's mind.

Mine.

[saturnville]

can I call you rose? major john "bucky" egan (masters of the air) x black fem oc (amelia egan)

content: a flashback to one of the first interactions of bucky and amelia. inspired by the song, "can I call you rose?" by thee sacred souls.

an: I've been on a writing kick lately. bask in it now before I go back into hibernation lololol. on a serious note, this was fun to write and I hope you enjoy it.

Local pubs were common safehouses for the men of the 100th. A place where they shed their military prowess at the door and cloak themselves in normalcy for a few hours.

Over 40 men crowded the dark pub; drinking, singing, and conversing joyously between themselves and the women scattered throughout. His eyes scanned around the room. Gale was whispering in the ear of a pretty blonde, who giggled like a school girl and Curt was dancing in the corner with a brunette with a gentle gaze. He chuckled to himself and knocked back the remainder of his drink.

John clenched his jaw and pushed himself off the rickety old couch. He whistled a soft tune as he trudged toward the bar. He's been disciplined (somewhat), having only drank two glasses. Gale would be so proud.

"What can I get for you?" asked the person behind the bar. Her back was turned to him, which made him scoff in amusement.

"Eyes in the back of your head?" John dropped his glass against the countertops. Her shoulders hook in amusement. She turned and pressed her forearms against the counter. John's eyebrow raised in interest.

"Something like that." Her dark eyes fell to the pins and badge against his chest. "What are you drinking, Major?"

"Whiskey." She plucked the glass from his lingering fingertips and refilled the glasses. His gaze was on her as she floated behind the bar with ease. It wasn't completely rare to see a woman bartending, but it was surely uncommon, nonetheless.

She looked damn good doing it, too. Her dark, pressed hair was tied back by a baby blue bandana, showcasing her beautiful features. She wore black tailored pants that complimented her figure and a black sweater. Her manicured nails clicked against the glass as she dropped it into his awaiting palm.

"Here ya go. Enjoy, Major."

He winced. That aspect of him was shed at the door. "John." His correction was gentle, but she heard the stern understones.

"Is that appropriate?" She questioned.

He shrugged and took a small sip of his drink. "It is because I said so. Now you," he leaned forward. "What's your name?"

He rose painted lips parted, but closed once she saw a smile creep on his lips, "What?"

John's tongue massaged the inside of his cheek. He asked, "Can I call you Rose?"

Her head jerked and he eyebrows furrowed. "Rose? Where'd that come from?"

John leaned back and tossed his arm over the neighboring chair. "Cause you're real pretty. You look sweet, especially with that dimple, and your perfume is...kinda strong. Smells like flowers."

She tried to fight the smile that pulled at the corners of her mouth Her brown eyes bore into his blue ones in awe.

"In that case, I will let you call me Rose. But, my name is Amelia."

John smiled. "Amelia Rose, see how pretty that sounds?" Amelia giggled and he swore it was the greatest sound on earth; an angelic song.

"Does everyone call you John?"

He shook his head. "Most people call me Bucky."

Amelia shook her head. "Then John is reserved just for me, yeah?" An indescribable emotion flashed through his blue eyes, but, she could tell he was satisfied, nonetheless.

John held her gaze as he brought his glass to his lips once more. "We've got a deal, Miss Amelia Rose."

-

"Rose, darlin'." Amelia turned at the sound of her name. She knew that voice all too well. It visited her during her dreams and soothed her to sleep in the evenings. A gleaming smile spread across her face. She dropped her rag and turned to face the door.

"Hi Johnny," she greeted softly. The seductive undertones in her voice, paired with the nickname had the eyebrows of Gale and Curt raise. John met her smile with a grin.

"I'll catch you boys in later. Rose, baby." John jogged toward the bar. Amelia met him halfway. He wrapped his uniform-glad arms around her waist and she sank into his embrace. His lips grazed the shell of ear. "How've you been, honey?"

It'd been months since their first meeting. They saw each other twice after that; another evening at the pub and a date. He took her on a date and surprised her with a bouquet of lowers; a dozen red roses.

For three months, their relationship progressed through a series of letters. She had more than she could count, all stashed safely in a box under her bed, handled with tender care.

"Good. Missed you. Glad you made it back in one piece." Amelia said, running her fingers across his pins and badge. "Do you want anything?"

John shook his head. "No. I'm here with the guys, but I'd prefer to talk to you without a drink. If that's alright with you."

Amelia laughed lightly and grabbed his hand. "Coffee it is."

-

"How long are you here?" Amelia asked, passing Johna ceramic coffee mug.

"Should be a month, but it's subject to change. But..." John's eyes lit up with hope. "I was hoping to spend some time with you if you'd like. Heard they've got a fun carnival going on tonight. You've yet to beat me in a game."

The young woman chuckled, remembering the intensely competitive game of cards they played every Friday up until he left. She smiled bashfully and nodded. "Of course."

John winked. "It's a date, Rosie."

[anne-bsd-bibliophile]

Mirror: The Fiction and Essays of Kōda Aya translated by Ann Sherif

The papers in those days always had some amazing news in them - from the attempted military coup of February the year before to the start of fighting in China just three months later. A ferocious gale had come sweeping through, causing small whirlwinds some days and, at other times, a tremendous commotion that stirred up everything, even the dust in the forgotten corners of the world. I was just a speck of dust in one of the narrowest, most remote niches. - Kōda Aya, "The Medal"

A kimono worn by a woman immature in her emotions can be a powerful thing. Or, to put it another way, clothes have the strength to control one's psyche. To me, the striped outfit was a uniform; it gave me a sense of direction and a feeling of pride in my work. The apron shielded me from all arrows; it acted as a cast to brace me against all blows. It was a metal fire door behind which I could hide the anguish of my heart. - Kōda Aya, "The Medal"

What other child would fail to rise to the occasion when her father was being so honored? He was my only father, and I his only child. Is this any way to behave? I had lost my way at the bottom of a deep abyss. I cast my eyes upward, toward my father, only to see him dimly shrouded by mist. - Kōda Aya, "The Medal"

I know nothing about the breadth of my father's learning, nor do I pretend to understand the scope of his art. I could not tell you what came to him as a matter of luck, what he accomplished through his own talents, nor about his stature among men. Though I may be vastly ignorant, I do have enough sense not to entertain the foolish notion that he is some kind of lion of literature, a king among writers. He was just my father. From my own biased viewpoint, I would say that Father possessed some lionlike qualities, but there were those of a lion who would finish you off or give you the push-off-the-cliff test. - Kōda Aya, "The Medal"

Father was an unusual man. He would point out the beauty of blossoms or clouds in the sky with the very whip he had cracked a moment before. With the same knife he had just used to rive your innards, he would slice up a wedge of some delicacy for you. No one else I knew could perform such feats. There was something solid about him. I felt all at once like a contrite sinner and a puppy dog who is eager to please. I wanted to cut all ties with him, but at the same time I needed him to recognize me as worthy of his love. - Kōda Aya, "The Medal"

Higuchi Ichiyo's nephew Higuchi Etsu once said about [me and my father]: "The parent dons a medal, and the child an apron." I made a show of laughing at his comment, but only because I wanted to hide my weakness. In fact, that apron chafed against my hands and my heart with its unyielding roughness. - Kōda Aya, "The Medal"

One often hears about the magical powers of mirrors. Certainly the mirror's ability to reflect creates this feeling of mystery. The objects around the viewer look so different in the mirror - what was one may multiply into two or even three. Objects that had appeared to be piled up come apart. Something might look real in the mirror, but then when you try to touch it, you can't. It seems to be there but it makes no sound. Is it real or just an illusion? Sometimes you can see through things in a mirror. Some things seem actually to be alive inside the mirror, but once the reflection stops moving, the illusion of life is gone. The mirror's power resides in this ability to confound. - Kōda Aya, "A Friend for Life"

My life was not going smoothly. I could not handle the problems that confronted me and became unbelievably nervous and stubborn. At times, any little thing would set me off in a rage; often I would get upset and break down in tears. I had so many things on my mind. In those days I consoled myself by leaning up against my mirror. To think how proud I had felt of it on my wedding day. Now all I could do was crouch up against it and sigh. In that house it was the only place where I felt calm. The mirror served more as a support for my emotions than as a glass in which I could see my reflection. The sunny location I had chosen for it had been part of my effort to avoid sadness and gloom in my life, but ironically it ended up lodging a darkened, tired soul. I did, in any case, feel most peaceful when I sat by my mirror. - Kōda Aya, "A Friend for Life"

The first time I wiped the glass, I was shocked to discover how dirty a mirror can become. One usually does not notice the dust; a mirror will reflect even when covered with a heavy layer of grime. And once you get used to this, you may end up looking at yourself and trying to make yourself presentable with powder and lipstick, unaware that you are seeing yourself through a haze. But who bothers to dust mirrors? If even smoothly polished glass attracts dust how much more would accumulate on a troubled heart? - Kōda Aya, "A Friend for Life"

Kōda Aya has also been added to the BSD-Bibliophile Online Library!

You can find more information about Kōda Aya-sensei on the following pages:

List of Books in English Quotes and Facts Collection Fun Facts

[avocado-writing]

First, I am absolutely obsessed with your writing. I go feral every time I get a notification that you've made a post. When you pick a request of mine I've been reblogging it multiple times so it's easier for me to find it to reread. Please keep up the good work. You are appreciated. 💛

I was wondering if you could please write how the bg3 companions+ Halsin, Rolan, Dammon and Zevlor would react to finding out that a Tav/reader with considerable facial scarring has been harboring feelings for them, but has been afraid to tell them because they're afraid they will be rejected for their appearance; something that has happened many times.

I know it's a big ask, so if it's too much please just pick the characters that you want. Though, I would appreciate it if you included Rolan.

Again, love your works! Make sure to take care of yourself as you go through your backlog!

hello lovely! i've actually written something similar to this for the ladies, so I'll just be writing for the men for this one!

Astarion

When he finds out you’ve been rejected for how you look, goes on a long rant about how shallow people can be (definitely ironic). Cue the “I probably draw more looks than you” line.

This is all to show you that he doesn’t care how you look. He fell in love with your kindness first, your actions.

Absolutely reciprocates your feelings no matter what.

Drops little affections every day. “You’re perfect you know.” “My love, you are wonderful.” “You have my whole heart.”

Gale

He admires your brain and heart. To him, you are perfection. Honestly he confesses to you before you get the chance to admit your feelings.

When you tell him you feel the same but were worried due to past rejections he reassures you it doesn’t matter to him.

But if it matters to you he will ask if it’s something you’d like to try to fix or hide with magic, and will take the appropriate steps afterwards.

He loves you. He’d do anything to make you happy.

Wyll

Starts trying to woo you with romantic poetry recited or written out and left at your tent, which you assume must be for someone else - it takes his confession for you to realise he likes you.

You have a long heart-to-heart discussing your fears about how you look, where he takes the chance to confirm his feelings aren’t affected by anything, something you desperately needed to hear.

Holds you close every moment he has a chance to, giving you little kisses peppered across your face.

Halsin

Is confused why you think he’d care about your scars? They’re a sign of your life lived, the obstacles you’ve overcome.

He points at his own face. “They are a mark of pride, my heart. Nothing more.”

Spends a long time holding you, whispering praises to you, especially when you’re making love. Nothing he likes more than pressing his mouth against the shell of your ear and telling you how lovely you are, voice gravelly with desire.

Will make you feel like the most treasured thing in the world.

Rolan

The two of you are skirting around each other for a while. You too scared to tell him, him too proud to confess to you.

Perhaps one day you have a bad experience with a stranger’s reaction to your face, and he finds you crying. Asks what’s wrong. When he finds out, he’s furious.

“I can’t believe they’d care about something like that. You saved this city, they should love you like I do.”

And just like that he’s said it, and you’re overwhelmed. Leads to him choking out his feelings for you, cheeks even brighter red than usual. You tease him a bit, and kiss him. He’s never been happier.

[astarion-approves]

Hello! I love your blog! Could you possibly do a drabble with a tav that gets really flustered/panics when flirted with or complimented trying to converse with Astarion?

Even I was swooning

Astarion x Gender Neutral Tav

Summary: They knew that he would just be standing there… handsomely. Flicking through the pages of his book, the contents of which were unknown to Tav but they liked to imagine it was a steamy romance novel. Those flame filled eyes scanning over the pages, uncaring of what anyone else did with their evenings. Until he caught Tav staring that is. (Or Astarion uses cheesy pickup lines to try and woo Tav) Tags: Love Confessions, Flustered Tav, Soft Astarion, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Bickering, Drabble, Tumblr request, Cheesy, cheesy pickup lines, all of which I'm very proud of, gender neutral reader, 1.2k words

Read below or on Ao3

While, after a day of killing goblins and fighting a hag in a swamp, a night at camp sounded like a relief for most; that wasn’t the case for Tav. They busied themselves, building a fire, carefully stacking each piece of wood while keeping their eyes low and forcing themselves not to look up to where Astarion stood. 

They knew that he would just be standing there… handsomely. Flicking through the pages of his book, the contents of which were unknown to Tav but they liked to imagine it was a steamy romance novel. Those flame filled eyes scanning over the pages, uncaring of what anyone else did with their evenings. 

Until he caught Tav staring that is. 

Each night was the same. Tav would stack spare logs nearby, build a fire on their knees, and help Gale to set up any cooking supplies, all while desperately fighting the urge to look up and lock eyes with Astarion. And each night they failed miserably.  

Astarion knew the moment Tav’s eyes were on him, his eyes jumping up from the pages and staring right back at them, a smirk growing on his lips and he snapped the book closed. Then he would stroll over, running a hand through his hair and swapping that smirk for a charming smile. 

Then the flirting would begin. A different line every night, each one cheesier than the last, but still managing to make Tav blush—

“Is that fire hot? Or is it just you?” 

“I do love seeing you on your knees, darling.” 

“You handle that wood quite well.”

“Is something burning? No? Perhaps it’s just your burning loins.” 

Of course tonight was no different. Tav cursed to themselves as Astarion made his way over. They would always attempt to ignore him, to pretend that they never locked eyes and that Tav didn’t notice him approaching. Gale stood off to the side, the wizard prepping their dinner and already accustomed to the little game that Astarion loved to play. He sighed as he chopped a few potatoes, mumbling under his breath how Tav lasted even shorter than usual. 

The crunching of boots over rocks and dirt signaled his arrival, but Tav kept their eyes on the fire, refusing to look up—

For as long as they could manage anyway. 

“Tav, If you inhale too much smoke, I’ll gladly give you CPR.” 

“What?!” Gale turned from his prepping and tossed his knife to the side. “Astarion, that one doesn’t even make sense!” 

“Mind your business, Gale.” Tav finally looked up to where he stood, Astarion now glaring at Gale with his arms crossed over his chest. “Or well.. I mean.. Honestly, I’m running out of pickup lines here. I’d like to see you come up with something better.” 

“How about ‘Stop, drop, and… roll into bed with me?” Gale offered. 

“Hm. Too forward. I try to be more subtle with Tav, but.. I can understand why someone like you would use a line like that.” 

“Right……. Because offering mouth to mouth is much more subtle.” 

“I’m so glad we could agree!” 

Gale rolled his eyes and turned back to the vegetables. “Just get on with it, would you?” 

Astarion brought his focus back to Tav, silently offering a hand to help them stand. “You know, if you didn’t get so damn flustered I wouldn’t have to do this every night.” 

Tav laughed, their eyes dropping to the ground between them. “I can’t help it… you’re so—“

“—Devilishly handsome, unbelievably charming, an elf with a smile to die for—“

Gale snorted. “A pompous ass—“

Astarion ignored him. “Luscious hair, pouty kissable lips—“

“—Yes, yes, all of those things… Minus the pompous ass,” Tav said and paused. They pressed their lips together, thinking a moment before continuing. “Well, maybe a little bit of a pompous ass.” 

“So then, what’s the problem here?” Astarion gestured between them, his arms waving back and forth quickly. “I like you, and darling, you clearly like me…” 

“Astarion..,” Tav began. “You’re so far out of my league… I can’t help but think there is some kind of ulterior motive for you to be showing so much interest in me.” 

“I assure you, there isn’t. Not… Well, not anymore anyway.” 

“‘Not anymore’?” Gale asked. “What the hells is that supposed to mean?” 

“Gale, why don’t you scurry the fuck along and leave us to it?” Astarion hissed. 

“Oh, I’m enjoying this far too much. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re about to confess your love for them, and I’m not missing out on that.” 

“Yes, but—“

“Then confess already, Mystra help you, you’re hopeless…”

“Look,” Astarion sighed and turned his attention fully to Tav, ignoring the laugh that Gale sent his way. “I’ve never had actual real feelings for another person before. I don’t know how to approach a person without the intent of stealing them away for Cazador’s benefit. When I first met you I planned to use you, to have you as some kind of shield if he were to ever find me… But then.. I fell for you. 

“And of course, not knowing how to woo someone without using my body… I went the cheesy pickup lines route. Which I know isn’t exactly endearing, or really attractive… I just didn’t know how else to interact with you! I want you to be comfortable with me, to trust me like I trust you… 

“And darling, since I’m being honest here— you are in no way below me. Do you seriously not know how painfully attractive you are? I’ve been losing my mind with desire since day one. The way you smile at me and make me feel like the most important man in the world, how you run to my side for so much as a hangnail, when you laugh at my jokes, or blush just from my gaze—

“I’ve fallen so madly in love with you, it pains me to think of a life without you, and we haven’t so much as hugged…— um Tav? Are you alright?” 

Their hands covered their face, shaking their head as the heat continued to build in their cheeks. This was too much for them to handle. The occasional flirting was already playing games with their heart, but now? A full confession? “I might— I might need a minute.” 

“I think you broke them,” Gale moved to stand beside Astarion and reached out to poke the back of Tav’s hand. 

Astarion did the same, both of them just poking at the back of Tav’s hands— until they crouched down to avoid them, dropping their head between their knees and muffling a scream into their pants. 

“That was a hell of a confession,” Gale admitted. “Even I was swooning.” 

“Why thank you.” 

“Now what?” 

Astarion hummed. “I’m not sure.” 

“Want me to cast a spell on them or something?” 

Astarion waved him off. “Darling.” Astarion bent down and ran his hand down the back of Tav’s head. “You did hear that I love you, didn’t you?” 

“Yes,” they mumbled. “And I love you too.” 

“Well then, I suppose that’s that.” Gale laughed. “Maybe now they’ll stop melting into a damn puddle around you.” 

“Hah! I doubt it.”

------------

Later~

Gale: Before, you said you wanted to be more subtle.

Astarion: Yes?

Gale: But one night you insinuated that you wanted Tav to give you a blow job.

Astarion: …..

Gale: …..

Astarion: …I didn't want to admit that I liked your pick-up line.

Gale: HAHA! I knew it! I win.

Astarion: One of us has Tav napping in their tent, looking adorable as ever. Who's the real winner?

Gale: …Touché.

[galedekarios]

more gale & tara epilogue stuff

tara's epilogue conversation is so extremely devastating if gale sacrificed himself. since i can't bring myself to play it, i thought i'd look at it in the files and share what i find here.

tara can be found at camp and this is how the conversation with the player begins:

Tara the Tressym: Oh, hello, darling. I was hoping to see you. Withers informed me about this little get-together and I thought I'd show my whiskers.devnote Tara the Tressym: I can almost feel Gale here. Among his friends - in you. Some part of him remains, doesn't it? devnote: Gale has died so she's very sad and nostalgic.

this devnote is repeated for almost every line for tara in this convo.

from here, the player has various options to reply. i'll be going through them in order.

the first is one where the player points out the magically conjured image of himself that gale left behind in case of his permanent death:

Player: Well, his magical ghost is still here, if that's what you mean. Tara the Tressym: That thing's no more than a shadow of the real man. A nonsense. Though it captures some of his more insufferable qualities...

the second option is the player saying that they are feeling something similar, a presence that reminds them of gale:

Player: It does, Tara. I can feel his presence too. Tara the Tressym: A crackling in the air, isn't it? That flair of magic and mischief.

despite the tragedy of it all, i do love tara describing gale's presence as 'that flair of magic and mischief'. it's so very sweet and sad, especially remembering just long she's known him.

perhaps here she remembers the boy who accidentally set the rose bush on fire and cried, just as elminster does. or perhaps the boy who summoned a magma mephit, causing chaos, but also making a lifelong friend.

the third option is to tell tara that you miss gale, too, and this honestly made me tear up:

Player: I miss him too, Tara. Tara the Tressym: That's good. We should miss him. He was such a lovely fellow. Proud as a peacock, but... my little love. Tara the Tressym: Oh, what I wouldn't give to snuggle up on his lap one more time. Just once would do. Player: Would a fuss from me make you feel better?

"He was such a lovely fellow. Proud as a peacock, but... my little love."

PROUD AS A PEACOCK BUT... MY LITTLE LOVE

M Y L I T T L E L O V E

this is obviously completely fine so i'll continue with the fourth option:

Player: You can snuggle up in my lap later, if you like. Tara the Tressym: Oh, I couldn't possibly... unless... well, perhaps it's not a terrible idea. Gale would be quite pleased to know we've made friends, wouldn't he?

it's clear that tara needs some comfort. despite her stiff upper lip approach to most news devastating to her and the thin veneer of control she puts on here.

the fifth option is expressing that you know how she feels:

Player: I know how you feel. Tara the Tressym: Ah, to lose the one you love the most. What a terrible thing.

the sixth option is rather callous and tara's response to it once again heartbreaking:

Player: Alas, you can't. Tara the Tressym: No. Not in this life, at least.

the last option again shows tara's true grief at what happened:

Player: He's gone. We have to accept that. Tara the Tressym: I suppose we do. But I certainly wish we didn't.

most of these different options lead to the end of the conversation with tara, where she invites the player to visit her and morena in waterdeep:

Tara the Tressym: Perhaps you'd be willing to come meet Gale's mother, some time? She misses him so - and I know it would do her heart a world of good to discuss her son with someone who knew him as he was.

again, the player has various choices to either accept or refuse her invitation. i won't go through them all and you can read for yourself in the screenshot i provided. but i do want to look at these two options here:

Tara the Tressym: Perhaps you'd be willing to come meet Gale's mother, some time? She misses him so - and I know it would do her heart a world of good to discuss her son with someone who knew him as he was. Player: I'd love to, but I'm leaving Faerûn after tonight. Tara the Tressym: Well if you ever come back do look us up in Waterdeep. Surname 'Dekarios'. I'd enjoy the chance to reminisce about the good man we knew.

i'm once more reminded of that one line in elminster's letter and i feel so sad for morena:

Does he live within his mother’s ageing heart, weeping for those roses? 

2.

Player: I'll consider it. Tara the Tressym: See that you do. We'd love to have you. Things have been rather quiet without himself cluttering up the place.

which made me think about gale's line that his tower has never been so free of clutter ever since he had to deal with his condition.

anyhow, i hope this was interesting to some of you!

[middlingmay]

Hello 😌 for the late night call prompt:

"i know you didn't just hang up on me without saying 'i love you'."

This could be so sweet (or not). Would love to see your take on it!

Hello! I'm feeling the fluff today, so I hope you like it. Thanks for the ask :) <3

John's mouth had served him both well and ill in his life.

He was funny and he was charming. He was able to spin a story and keep a table entertained. He could cheer someone up easy, diffuse arguments if he chose to. And because he could read people quick sharp, he could either make fast friends with a few choice words, or could provoke or end a fight depending on which of his more mercurial moods he was looking to feed that night.

But his favourite thing, he'd come to find over the years, was talking in a constant, rhythmic roll and lulling Gale, a notoriously poor sleeper, to a good night's sleep.

John wasn't even going to let state lines keep him from that privilege.

Work had sent him away for a couple of nights to deal with an issue and another officer. It's what he got with his reputation for being able to influence and mediate with the best of them. And of course, just two days before he was due to go, Gale fell sick. Not sick enough to warrant John calling it off; but just sick enough to worry and stress him all the way out because he wouldn't be here to take care of his Gale.

Gale who had no sympathy for his plight whatsoever.

"It's two days. I can take care of myself; I'm a big boy."

John leered without intent and moseyed into Gale's personal space. "Oh, I know."

Gale spluttered a dry cough into John's chest and struggled to get his breath back and John whined.

"Come on, Gale. Just say the word and I'll cancel. You won't have to lift a finger until you're better."

Gale pushed him off and tugged the cover he had draped around him like a cape in tighter. "No, thank you," he grimaced. "You'll hover, you'll get sick, then I'll be taking care of the two of us. Get to stepping, John. Quicker you get there, quicker you get back."

So they'd said goodbye, Gale tolerating John's too-many long looks back with barely a roll of his eyes (and John knew that was just because even his eyes were hurting). But he could kick him out the house and force him to go to work and make fun of him as much as he liked, but Gale couldn't stop John from calling him for their regular night time chatterbox sessions.

"I thought you were working," Gale drawled raspy into the phone.

"At nine pm? Not enough overtime pay in the world, sweets. How you feeling?"

Gale's answers were brief and perfunctory, but John could hear the ever-present affection even through the brevity. And John was always happy to pick up the slack. He murmured to Gale about the trip, the shit show at the office, and the gossip he entirely made up about his colleagues in another state just to keep himself entertained. He spoke about the town and the hotel, and what he had to eat. He told him every tiny detail he could think of, until he heard Gale's breaths even out and the soft snore of the congested drift across the line.

Chuckling low so as not to wake Gale, he finally hung up, proud of himself for being able to fulfil his duties even if he wasn't there in person.

But it only lasted a few seconds before his phone screen lit up, and Doll flashed across the screen. John swiped and lifted the phone to his ear to hear Gale's thick, sleepy reprimand.

"I know you didn't just hang up on me without saying I love you."

John grinned wide and dimpled and all teeth and gum at Gale's grumpy complaint. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. How rude."

"Mmph." Offended. Like a puffed up cat. John could practically see the displeased frown in the centre of Gale's brow.

"I love you. Now go to sleep."

"Mmph." Contented. Pleased. Maybe with that tiny little smile Gale had that pulled his apple cheeks up.

John stayed on the phone long past Gale's return to sleep. Just in case.

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

My Mother Plays Baldur's Gate: Part 5

Summary: My retired mom is having me play Baldur's Gate 3 on her behalf because she has trouble using controllers/keyboards but still wants to "smooch the wizard boy." She is playing a neutral chaotic good wood elf druid; this is a detailed account of her crimes. Part 1 & 2 Part 3 Part 4

Sorry for the long break! Life got super busy for a second there. We're about 30-40% of the way through Act 3, and we finished up some companion quest lines and started making some plans to kill Gortash and Orin.

Here's what happened during yesterday's game session:

Scratch gave us an iron bowl at camp. My mom assumed this was somehow plot relevant, so she had me carry it around everywhere because "we might need it." I am not allowed to sell the bowl. She is a druid and her carrying capacity is still garbage. I suffer.

She LOVES Gale’s new kiss animations. I  tasked with smooching him before we leave camp every single time. Even if I just stop by to switch out a party member, I still have to kiss him goodbye. (And pet the animals, obviously.)

We accidentally blew up Volo outside the Steel Watch foundry with a poorly-placed Ice Storm that nicked the edge of the explosive barrels. His corpse was charred and unrecognizable, and my mom was distraught. She demanded to know why I blew him up, so I reminded her that casting Ice Storm was HER idea. We saved him the second time.

Cazador accidentally won his fight several times because we kept rolling dogshit initiative and got zapped by status effects before we could move an inch. The first time Astarion got turned to paste in the ritual, my mom nearly leapt out of her seat. (“RELOAD RIGHT NOW, HONEY.”) We killed Cazador on the fifth attempt, the rotten bastard.

My mom was locked in for the Iron Throne mission. The turn limit really freaked her out, and she kept second-guessing my choices every time I made a move because she was so nervous I was wasting time. I had to gently remind her that I’ve done this mission literally dozens of times. (We got everyone out with a whole turn to spare. Pfffft.)

Got the wavemother robe. I put it on Gale because I thought my mom would love it, but she was actually horrified because he “might catch a cold.” She robe is now somewhere in the camp stash next to all the spoons, iron tongs, and rags. It will probably never be found again. 

Saved the Gondians, and Mom now rides the “fuck Wulbren Bongle” hate train. Shout-out to my boy Barcus!

After watching the conclusion of The Pale Elf quest line (Astarion did NOT ascend, thank you), my mom quietly said, “I hope that actor knows how perfect he is as Astarion. What a wonderful man.” I had the pleasure of informing her that Neil Newbon won Best Performance at the Game Awards for his role. Congrats Neil Newbon, my mom is super proud of you!

Hoping to get together with my mom again soon and make some more progress through Act III. She told me to thank you for all your kind words of support!

[bcolfanfic]

I had to request this for clegan: ^ maybe it's the other way around, and they have to defend their partner from the parents themselves. left shocked that someone could treat their own child like that.

this is something i want to flesh out more if i ever actually write/publish fork in the road (the young vets au backstory bible) but since idk when or if that’s gonna happen let’s blurb it here for now <3 for those unfamiliar with military jargon- getting ‘tapped out’ is something that happens at basic training graduation. you’re all standing there in formation and can’t ‘break’ until your family/partner etc finds you and hugs you or something. typically if people don’t have anyone to tap them out a friend’s family member does it (: in terms of the yv au timeline- the bucks are *not* together at this point and gale still has marge back home. alongside a rapidly developing crush on his new friend from basic (: also gale is 21, bucky is 23/almost 24.

/ / /

fork in the road blurb / a young veterans au prologue snippet

Gale knew his father was drunk before he even realized he could smell it on him. Knew from how he grabbed his shoulder, calloused hand bunching the fabric of his uniform as he pulled him into what could best be described as an awkward side hug. He was mumbling something about how he was proud of him, his mother echoing the gibberish like everything was fine.

His stomach flipped over on itself, and he wished Marjorie’s flight hadn’t been cancelled.

“Really Gale, this is just wonderful.” His mother cooed as his dad stepped out of her way, wobbling. She brushed past him like she was purposefully trying to ignore the obvious, and Gale thought to himself how ridiculous the act was. She’d been with him all morning.

He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, biting on the inside of his cheek before he spoke.

“Why’d you let him show up like this?”

“There he is- Buck!”

John’s voice startled him and relieved him all at once. When he turned to find him he was weaving through people with his mother on his heels, grin as wide as it always was.

He pulled him into a hug before he said anything else- a hug much nicer than the one from his dad. John squeezed him twice before he pulled back, exhaling.

“We did it, whadya know?” He said with a laugh, and Gale couldn’t help but smile at him. Up until smelling the liquor on his father's breath the intent of the graduation pomp and circumstance had worked on him. Pride in himself that he wasn't sure he'd felt before made roots in his chest.

But it was short lived.

“Hey- who the hell is this?” His father interjected, taking a shaky step forward, gesturing between him and John with one hand. “The rumors about what you boys get up to without your girls around in these places true?”

The Texas sun bearing down on them was hot, but Gale’s face suddenly felt as though it was burning on its own accord.

He didn’t mean it- didn’t know, couldn’t know unless he’d developed osmosis powers you could only gather from the bottom of the bottle. But John’s face contorted, and Gale wanted to throw up.

“Dad.” He said helplessly, shaking his friend's touch off his arm. “You- you need to go sober up before they kick you out, don’t want them to do that,”

Begging made him feel pathetic- the way he could see John’s mom looking at his mom made him feel pathetic- everything about what was going on made him want to sit down on the asphalt and crack in a way that would be embarrassing for a shiny new solider.

He was trying so hard not to do exactly that that he didn't register his father stepping closer till there was spit flying in his face.

“Sober- sober up- the fuck did you just say to me?”

He was embarrassed. Always got like this- got angry when he was embarrassed. Gale swallowed, anger bubbling in his own chest when he looked at his mom for help and she looked away.

“Hey, let’s not make a scene here, yeah?”

John’s voice cutting through the noise made Gale flinch, and his primal urge was to shoo him away, get him out of this mess he surely didn’t need to be involving himself in.

But it was nice to be stood up for.

His father blinked at the taller boy, squinting at him.

“You his lawyer?”

John laughed, low and deep- and whatever fuzziness Gale had about being stood up for was replaced by a sense of dread. He was sure this was going to end in him getting backhanded, right here in the middle of the graduation festivities.

"Nah- nah," John started, putting both hands up with a small shrug. "Just don't think lettin' some tempers take away from the moment here is serving anyone."

Gale watched as his father scrunched his face up, exhaling through his nose, popping one finger knuckle in his hand. He didn't say anything, a small mercy- which gave his mother the opportunity to press into his side without getting scolded at. She was speaking quietly- something about how they should go back to the hotel room, and Gale just stood awkwardly.

You're a solider, he thought- trying to straighten his back. You're above this now.

Expecting some sort of farewell before they took off at least, it took him a moment to realize his parents had departed without one. They were there- he looked up to blink back the stinging in his eyes, and when he lowered his eyes again they were gone.

The stinging returned in their absence.

"Oh, honey,"

John's mother nudged past her son to get to him, glancing in the direction his parents must have gone in. There was a frown on her face, that she tried to mask when she turned to him." You come out with John and I, okay? Get lunch somewhere nice,"

"Somewhere air conditioned." John groaned, letting out a dramatic huff as he propped his elbow up on Gale shoulder. He was laughing, clearly trying to take Gale's mind somewhere else. But when his laugh faded and his mom was occupied trying to find a restaurant on her phone, his eyes softened.

Gale met his gaze for a moment before the pity he found there made him reel back and look at the ground.

John didn't falter, giving the back of his neck a light squeeze.

"Your dad's a piece of shit," He started, and Gale almost laughed at how sincerely he said such a string of words. "But don't let him ruin this for you, yeah?"

His fingers brushed against his chest as he brought his hand down to tap the top of the Cleven name tag affixed to his uniform, looking at him expectantly.

"Yeah," Gale said, with a hard swallow. "Yeah, I'll try."

[f4riedimples]

teachers pet

Pairings: katniss Everdeen x fem!reader

warnings: slight age difference(you can determine how much older katniss is than you for now),teacher/student relationship, affairs, talks of past trauma, g*le(1 mention)(no smut in this one sorry!)

summary: it was fucking beautiful, until it went too far.

wc:1603

a/n: I am not promoting anyone to do this irl, don’t let this flop, changed the og summary(I can tag u in the og ss)

This was never how it was supposed to happen.

At first you just came in and it was innocent practice.

How did it become more?

You never thought that this would happen and you felt guilty about it. But you didn't wanna tell anyone because not only did you not wanna rat out Katniss but you still enjoyed everything she did those days and nights as well

Just last week you lied about having to stay longer for "extra practice" to someone. In reality you were doing something you weren't meant to be.

You were sleeping with your teacher.(bow and arrow instructor)The mockingjay.

Katniss Everdeen.

Were you proud of it? Not completely but did it feel good for both you and Katniss? Hell yes.

And shamefully you were starting to feel something deeper for Katniss. But you knew you couldn't express it. She had peeta. And besides. She's older than you.

She would probably just try to dismiss it.

But you'd still go back. Out of love and out of the shameful way you would moan underneath her and twitch as she gave you what you wanted.

That was good enough. For now.

Right now instead of where you both usually practice which is in the woods or at a training center she's told you to come to her house.

Once you knock you know there's no point of even pretending to train. She was gonna take you.

She opens the door with a warm smile that turns into a small smirk once she sees you.

"Hi there Girl Scout. Looking for someone?" She jokes before chuckling. You can't help but giggle before she makes room for you too come inside.

You take a look around the house you've only been too once. Or twice. Or three times If you can remember. It's been a few months since you and Katniss started this but you haven't been able to come over her house that much.

"Hey Kat." You speak before looking down with a certain look in your eye. Katniss can't tell if it's just a soft look or if you want her.

At the end of the day you know you're here to do more than just hang out.

She takes a seat next to you. "Well hi there." You turn your body and look Katniss up and down as if you're asking if she's ready.

She's been through so much because of gale, the capitol, president snow and coin. Maybe she needs a stress relief. Although she's never really brought it up it still makes you think she deserves this.

Especially when she's rough. She needs to get her anger out.

She simply gives you a light kiss on your jaw then cheek before finally giving one on your lips. You moan as she slips her tongue into your mouth and gets a taste of you.

You, of course, immediately kiss back. Why wouldn't you? You both love this after all.

You run your fingers through Katniss' hair as she

puts her hands on your waist to pin you in place. Oh, the ideas that are coming to your pretty little head.

Just before you and Katniss can actually get down you both hear a knock on the door and immediately separate.

You instinctively whisper. "Who the hell is that?"

You ask with wide eyes before she speaks with a non whisper.

"I dunno." She shrugs casually and calmly before getting up with a sigh. She walks to the door but stops midway before turning around and speaking with a lower voice.

"Oh, and just so you remember, I don't think anyone would think anything If they saw me with a younger girl. Even if you're my student." She reminds you casually before turning around and walking back to the door.

She opens it and sees Johanna. "Well hey there brainless."

You see the smile on Johanna's face before she notices you and squints hers eyes slightly. Could she already be suspecting what's going on?

If she did you wouldn't be surprised since Johanna is pretty smart. As they talk you head to the bathroom and when you're out you get a bit of curiosity.

You decide to head to Katniss' room and go inside.

It's of course empty since she's downstairs with Johanna so you take opportunity to be nosy and look around.

You decide not to look on her dresser because that might have some precious things from her family but you do decide to look around and move towards her bed ready to take a seat.

Before you can however, you hear someone open the door and immediately turn around almost scared that it's Johanna or haymitch came over. Even worse:peeta.

Once you turn around to the person ready to explain you see it's just Katniss with a slight smile. "Hey baby. What are you doing in here?" She asks a little confused.

"Oh- I just didn't wanna interrupt what you and Johanna were talking about." You say with a nervous chuckle. Before you can apologize Katniss puts her hands on your shoulders.

"Oh that's no problem. You're always allowed in my room as long as you don't snoop around." She says calmly which you reply with a head nod. "Okay!"

And before you know it Katniss pins you against the wall. She of course had no intent on actually doing anything with you exactly at this moment but she liked seeing you nervous.

"Um- well this seems fun." You reply starting to shake the nerves off. Katniss gives a light hearted chuckle. "That's a good girl." She says before giving you a kiss on the head.

It was gentle and sweet which is something you liked about Katniss. She's didn't make you feel pressured into anything but she also didn't make you feel like a child.

It felt like a normal relationship.

"Now cmon. I think Johanna wants to see you." She says before taking your hand and leading you down

stairs. Once there you both immediately have a seat.

"So how've you been brainless junior?" Johanna quips mockingly. But not seriously at the same time.

It was an insult that she didn't care if you fight like but she also wasn't her intent to make you possibly upset.

You laugh at the nickname usually meant for Katniss. "Doing just well hothead." You spoke the half truth.

This was gonna be an interesting ride.

You and Katniss weren't getting to do anything which internally made you nervous and a little irritated not just for yourself but mostly katniss since you know that's probably the main thing she cares about doing with you.

You could tell by the look in her eyes she was upset especially when Johanna made a comment about inviting haymitch.

You saw the time and realized that your "lessons" were about to end. You get up from where you rested and head towards the door, followed by Katniss.

Katniss turns you around and looks at your face realizing that you're on edge. "What's wrong?" She asks as if she doesn't know.

You whisper trying not to feel any certain way.

"Because what do you think? Why didn't you tell me Johanna was coming over?" You ask trying to keep your composure. It's not like you mind Johanna's presence but this wasn't the time.

Katniss sighs before whispering back. "I didn't know okay? Besides you're acting like I'm upset we didn't have sex. I'm just upset we didn't get to spend a lot of time together." Katniss speaks pretty honestly causing you to sigh in a mix of relief and guilt.

Maybe you should've came quicker. (Something both you and Katniss have said before)

"I just- i thought that was the plan today." You say causing Katniss to roll her eyes at the idea. "Yeah."

"I did want sex. But I also wanted to see you just to see you." This wasn't one of the days Katniss just wanted to see you out of horniness which surprises

you.

"Oh..." Katniss softens up a bit. "We don't need to

have sex twenty four seven. Some days I really just wanna spend time with you." She speaks truthfully but you can't help but remember a thought just as

you were gonna smile.

"You have peeta. You don't need some random girl, someone you're training on the side." You whisper almost as if you're really getting upset now.

Katniss doesn't get mad immediately and actually seems a bit concerned and like she's trying to calm you down. Maybe just so Johanna won't hear or her suspicions.

"Listen, I know that. But I wanted you too. Why is that such a problem? We have each other now." Katniss says, developing a bit of attitude.

"So what? This is stupid. I can't keep doing this to myself Katniss. I might never be able to be with you like I want to not only because of my age. But because you're with peeta." You whisper your argument to Katniss. Trying to keep your emotions at bay.

Katniss starts with her feathers a bit ruffled. "It's it fucking stupid. I want you both. That's what I'm gonna get. Because you're perfect. I love you."

Katniss ends soft. She had never said this before.

Maybe she was just as deep as you knew you were.

There might be no going back on your emotions. You look up a bit stunned. "Okay.." you say a bit confused. Could this be true? "I- I love you too."

You spoke then giving Katniss a smile. Then you left.

Too blinded to turn back.