#GUYS SAVE HIM (me) OH MY GOD SOMEBODY PLEASE | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clandestineloki · 12 days ago

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firefighter miguel ohara x reader (VERY NSFW)

A/N: ang sabi ko december matatapos hindi ko sinabi anong year 😇

cw: smut, creampie, rough sex, things get 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂

when you first moved into your tiny home, you had gotten most of your stuff into the house by yourself

and the last thing you needed to unload from ur dad's car was your night stand so you carried it since it wasnt so heavy

only you accidentally hit the doorknob with your elbow and it flew off 😭

so you're standing there pacing nervously because you just locked yourself out of your own house LMAO DUMBASS

but to your rescue comes none other than miguel

having just returned from a minor save in his whole firefighter getup (somebody's stove caught on fire in an apartment somewhere but nothing fatal thankfully)

miguel looks to the house on his left

and suddenly believes in angels.

aren't you the cutest lil damsel in distress :}

u're pacing back nd forth and he's trying so hard not to stare at your cute lil ass in those pretty peach shorts 😙

you see him and wave, "pls help, sir!! my door- like- uh- i dont know what happened please help me i have to get this inside huhu"

who is he to say no??

he cracks his knuckles and squares up, making you blush as he grunts and flexes his muscles.

BUT YOU DONT EXPECT HIM TO BREAK DOWN UR DOOR

KICKED IT RIGHT OFF THE HINGES

and strategically kicked it too bc both the door and the hinges were intact, the screws just came off

he brushes his hair back and raises an eyebrow at your wide eyes

too shocked to contradict, you take the nightstand into ur new bedroom and come back to ur porch with a glass of lemonade for him

he thanks you, smirking when you blush and look away.

fixes your door that quickly too like wow

a handyman! maybe u can switch that up and manhandl- *GUNSHOTS*

anyways

for the next week and a half you're out on your porch with ur fat little cat mochi, working on a crochet thing, it's a hobby you recently got into since you're waiting for your cable and internet to get hooked up

and the firetruck drives by and the firetruck guys are blasting music, having a laugh

but miguel oh he always makes it a point to subtly wave at you and wink

it always leaves you flustered bc a very attractive man is giving you attention??

but what if he does it to other girls?? but if he does it to other girls why did one of the truckies ruffle miguel's hair when he caught miguel doing that??

but you just leave it at that, maybe he just wants ur attention and when he has it he'll get fed up and find some other pretty girl :((

until mochi gets the genius idea to chase a screeching squirrel up the tree right between your house and miguel's

"OH MY GOD MOCHI!!!!" you yell. "mochi, please dont move!!"

miguel just got back from a boring day at work, wearing half the firefighter getup and a grey shirt.

his definition of fun is getting to show off why his nickname is "the spider". it's because he almost never uses ladders and climbs the houses with just some rope and his bare hands.

and today was just some fire drill at a high school nearby, and he's a little pissed that nobody was listening because the mic had terrible feedback.

"MOCHI BABY OH MY GOD STAY RIGHT THERE!!"

miguel's head perks up from his phone, brows furrowing when he hears you screaming. he rushes to the 3½ ft fence between your house and his to see you running to the large tree in your backyard.

"leave em', peaches," he sighed and leaned against the fence with his arms crossed. "cats naturally land on their feet, he'll come down in a second."

"NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!" you turn to him, panic clear in your voice. "HE'S BLIND!!"

"oh SHIT" miguel jumps over the fence and runs over to you. "where's the bastard?!"

you gasp at him. "ONLY I GET TO CALL HIM A BASTARD!"

"fine, where is... it?"

"up there, MOCHI PLEASE DONT MOVE!! I'LL GET YOU BABY!"

"i wouldn't do that if i w-"

before miguel can stop you, you're already climbing the tree yourself. smirking, he lifts you off the trunk and into his arms, as if you were a cat yourself.

"peaches, you might wanna leave that to me," he chuckles riiiight up against your sensitive ear. "don't want your pretty little body getting all scratched up, mm?"

you whimper.

"miguel," you mumble, "p-put me down."

you squirm against him, but he growls and holds you closer.

"oh? and what if you're just going to do it again, mm? you gonna be a bad girl?" he asks, tracing his tongue over your earlobe, making you shiver and sink into his arms.

"m-miguel, what are you-"

"y'know bebita... you're terrible at pretending you don't look at me like you wanna fuck me..."

"wh-what?!"

the way he's carrying you reminds you an awful lot of this position you saw in porn. the full nelson. the tiny girl, all flushed and pleasure-dizzy, thighs quivering as she's pounded over and over, trapped in the thick veiny arms of her man as he subjects his little fucktoy to the roughest pounding until her brain is just as liquid as the sticky sweet potent cum leaking out of her -

"oh, look," miguel whispers, snapping you out of your dirty thoughts. mochi, despite his lack of eyesight, somehow finds his way down and glares straight through the two of you as if he can actually see the lewd way you're compromised in the arms of your handsome, secretly obsessed with you neighbor.

"there he is, the little furball," he sets you down, his hand lingering on your inner thigh a second too long as he pets the snobby little cat on his head. "your poor mami can't always save ya, y'know. i think she needs me around a lot more, hm?"

he turns to your flustered figure and smirks at your wide-eyed look. "i think you owe me a thank you."

"r-right..." you mumble, scratching the back of your neck nervously, still out of it. "th-thank you..."

to your downright embarrassment, he laughs at your pathetic attempt of speaking, and corners you against the fence.

"i think i need more than just a whisper, peaches," he drawls against your ear, one hand wandering under your shorts as he grins at the way you melt with just a little teasing.

"i'm real thirsty, bebita, so why don't you be a good girl and make me something to drink?"

which leads to right now: you're avoiding eye contact with miguel as he sits on your couch, patting at his forehead with a towel.

you're also avoiding eye contact with the very prominent bulge in his cargo pants.

you hand him a glass of ice, before turning to the fridge and looking through it.

"i-i have some orange juice, water, uh, pepsi if you want-"

"water."

you gulp. "o-okay," you take the pitcher and sit down next to him, and pouring into his glass slowly, staring at his hands because you can't bring yourself to look him in the eyes.

"bebita."

you flinch as you realize you've been pouring too much. the glass is filled to the brim.

[what you don't know is that he wishes you were too]

"s-sorry..." you mumble, scooting away from him slowly. he grabs your wrist and leans into your ear.

"can't we stop dancing around each other like we don't know where this is going?" he growls.

"wait- let me put this down!" you gasp as he pulls you onto his lap roughly, the plastic pitcher in your hands slanting and getting droplets ice-cold water down your chest.

and you have no idea how much it sounds like a dirty little moan when you go, "ngh! miguel!"

before you can even blink, you find yourself pinned down on the couch, the pitcher clattering to the floor. but your heart stops as you come face-to-face with miguel's lustful expression, his dark eyes staring into yours.

"do you have any idea what i want to do to you?"

you whimper shyly, and he curses under his breath, instinctively grinding his hips up into yours, making your breath hitch at the feeling of that right up against your crotch.

"oh you're so fucking cute," he grumbles. "think i'm really gonna break you when i put it in here..."

he torturously drags his palms up and down your legs and grinning like a madman when you whine from the sensations.

"wanted to fuck you since the moment you got here," he whispers darkly, his long fingers hooking under the waistband of your shorts and underwear. "do a little housewarming n' give you a nice, big welcome all over the couch, the bed, the shower..."

his voice trails off into a breathy shit, baby as he sees your wet pussy clenching around nothin. he looks up at your doe-eyed expression and grins.

"you gotta use your voice, pretty," he teases. "as much as i like starin' at you i can't figure out what you want~"

"i want you..." you whisper. "i want you to fuck me, miguel."

and fuck you he does. he presses his lips to yours and pushes you into the meanest mating press. "dreamed about this for so long," he growled into the kiss as he pulled down his pants. "cute little thing like you got a guy like me jerking off every night--" he starts nipping at your jawline "--ah, like a fuckin' teenager. why am i- fuck, y're so pretty- why am i so in love with you?"

he leans back to adore your flushed, needy state, and finally, finally pulls his dick out. you squeak as he rests over your bare stomach-- thick, veiny, and leaking all over you as if he can't wait a second longer.

when he pushes into you, god, the both of you feel heavenly. it takes all his strength to not plow into you like some ruthless beast. he just bites your neck, and rocks into you slowly as his thumb draws small circles on your clit, hoping to get you to adjust to his size.

it does way more than that, because within a few seconds, you're gasping and seizing under him, twitching helplessly as an orgasm washes over you, making your tight little pussy cream all over him sofucking good.

miguel's patience only lasts a few seconds after you come before his lust overrides him and he pounds you into the couch with every bit of his strength.

"miguel! miguel! oh, fuck- too much-"

you're screaming his name over and over, your walls clenching down on him as he hits the sweetest spots in you with every thrust of his hips. your nails run down his back as he fucks you like his life depends on it, and it hurts so good he can't bring himself to care about anything but you, you, you. cute, shy, innocent, cockdrunk little you.

he's addicted. and he's yours.

miguel feels himself getting close-- and knows you're getting close too, with the way your moans are getting breathier and your eyes are glossing over.

"fuck, i'm gonna fill you up so good, peaches," he groans. "cum with me, princess. make a mess for me~"

he swallows your moans of pleasure with a kiss, and fucks your through your orgasm as his tongue fucks your mouth. you whine and cry, and he spanks the side of your thigh, making you squeak and twitch under him. his thrusts get sloppy until his eyes roll back and he almost groans when he comes, thick, white cum filling you up like you're some kind of creamy pastry.

you shakily push at his chest, but he tsks at you, simply taking your wrists and pinning them to your side as he makes out sloppily, his hips moving slowly as he pushes more of his cum into you.

"take it all, peaches," he whispers hoarsely. "then i'm gonna clean it all out with my tongue~"

"miguel! that's nasty!" you whine, but he's got his mind set on it already, lifting you over his shoulder and heading to your bedroom.

he laughs, then sets you down on the bed, flipping you over with your ass sticking out. you gasp and shiver when you feel two of his thick fingers in your pussy.

"if you think that's nasty you'd faint if i told you what i wanna do with you on your kitchen counter, peaches."

#atsv miguel #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel spiderverse #miguel spiderman #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 smut

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oh-koenig-my-koenig · 1 year ago

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concert, part 2

part 1 | part 2 | (cw: age gap 25/41, nsfw smut)

The concert is a fucking blast. König and I are headbanging in unison to the songs blaring from the speakers and I love seeing the wild expression on his face. It’s exactly how I imagined it. Lorna Shore is also an amazing live experience, my god. I think I’m gonna have a bunch more lines on my face because every breakdown is bringing out my stank face.

Most of the concert goes well, without any incidents. Most of it.

If it wasn’t for the guy who almost knocked me off my feet running past us to the moshpit. König catches me when I topple over, his hands grabbing my waist and pulling me up again. The look on his face as he stares down the guy that just shoots a little “sorry” in my direction is downright abysmal that for a moment even I get a bit scared.

And I grab his arm putting my whole body weight on it when I see that he wants to go after the guy. “König, please, I’m fine.”, I shout at him, pulling on his arm to get his attention on me.

He stops, turns around and leans down, coming face to face with me. His eyes search it for any indication that would go against my claim, his hand cupping my cheek, the thumb softly caressing just once. And I just want him to do it again.

“I swear, I’m fine, it happens. I’m not made of glass.”, I explain to him and do a little dancydancy to demonstrate that my limbs are still working.

That pulls a little chuckle from him and he finally relaxes. Nodding, pulling back, and then he straightens back up, re-taking his position right behind me like my own personal bodyguard. And I lean into him again, shamelessly so, somebody might even call it ‘snuggling into him’.

I’m feeling touchy and I maybe would have had a guilty conscience if he didn’t do the same. His hand skimming over my naked arm, him pulling me against him when somebody pushes past us again. His big burly arms framing me. And it feels good. Oh, so good.

Luckily the heavy music blasting from the speakers is distracting me from the attractive man at my side, so I can keep some of my sanity while I try and tell myself that this totally is just two strangers going to a concert and not at all a date. Mh-mh, not a date.

I push those thoughts away and will myself to stay in the moment and let the music carry me away. I’m already getting tired and sweaty from all the jumping, shouting and moshing I’ve been doing, but also the concert is slowly but surely coming to an end.

I jump up a bit, going on my tiptoes, but I can’t see the band members on stage through the sea of bodies in front of me. König leans down, one of his hands on my shoulder.

“Everything okay?”, he asks me, loud against the noise, his breath skitting over the shell of my ear, and I ignore the tickling feeling that this elicits.

I turn to him speaking into his ear as well. “I don’t see anything.”, I complain to him. “But this is my favourite song.”

“You wanna sit on my shoulders? I bet you’d have a better view from up there.”, he suggests, patting said shoulders. They do look like a very comfy seat. Or a comfy leg rest. *cough cough* Get yourself together and the mind out of the gutter, I tell myself.

“Uh, sure.”, I say, totally not sure how this will work. He pulls his hair to the side and just leans down a bit, hoists me up at my waist and places me on his right shoulder. He holds up his hands and I grab them as I reposition myself, slinging my leg over the other shoulder, so that my thighs are now resting on both of them.

I didn’t factor in that I’m only wearing a skirt. The fabric is bunched up, which means that there are only the two thin layers of my panties and my tights between his neck and my pussy. Great. Just peachy.

His hands grab my thighs, his fingers digging into me, holding me steady and save. I’m so high up, so I can see everything, but right now my attention and more importantly the attention of my body is on the man whose head is between my thighs – so to speak.

“All good?”, he shouts up at me and I shout back a “yes”. Holding onto his head, making sure not to pull on his hair. But I can’t ignore the way it feels silkily smooth underneath my fingertips. I resist the urge to run my fingers through it and focus on the concert going on in front of me, joining in the refrain of ‘Dancing like Flames’.

And so the 'Pain Remains' Trilogy plays out with me on his shoulders experiencing the end of the concert with maybe the best seat in the house.

“Did you have fun?”, he asks as we leave the venue.

I’m doing double time on my steps to keep up with his long strides and the adrenaline from the concert still coursing through my veins turns my almost running into skipping along. “Yes, I did.”, I say smiling up at him.

A cold gust of wind blows through the street and a shiver runs down my spine which makes me slow down and cross my arms in front of my body.

“Wait, here, have my jacket.”, he says, slowing down as well, already putting the worn leather onto my shoulders.

I pull the piece of clothing tighter around me, getting enveloped in his scent while the smooth fabric of the inner lining skims against my skin. “Thanks.” We’re making our way to the car and he opens the door for me again, just like he did before.

“So, do you feel like you kept up with me today?”, I ask him then, a sly smile forming on my lips. He shoots me a look, an intense one, before he closes the car door. The look alone should have totally shut me up. But it doesn’t.

“So, how does it feel to still be out past your bedtime, old man?”, I continue as he climbs into the driver’s seat.

He doesn’t even look at me while he puts the seatbelt on and pushes the key into the ignition. “I’m glad you were more well behaved when we were at the concert.”, he says, a light gravel in his voice. A sound that does stuff to me. A sound that makes me brave and stupid.

"Do you know what a brat is?", I ask him and amusement paints my voice. I’m enjoying this way too much right now. Teasing him in person is so much better than over text.

He fully sideeyes me, pulling up one of his brows, then he turns his head to look at me. His gaze is heated, but I can see the restraint in it as well. He slowly tilts his head to the side and at the same pace the grin on my face falters, melting away. The hairs in my neck are starting to stand up and I have to suppress a shiver of excitement. From him just looking at me like I'm prey, someone to chase down, someone to devour.

"I'm familiar with the concept.", he says nonchalantly, leaning a bit towards me, when one of the corners of his mouth tips up. "Do you know what a brat tamer is?", he asks, smirking at me. And my brain short-circuits. My jaw drops, my chin is on the floor, figuratively speaking.

He laughs, short and darkly, as I'm still recovering from the sentence he just dropped. He straightens back up and fiddles with the ignition until the car starts.

"Sit up straight and put your seatbelt on for me, Liebes.", he says, his voice getting all authoritative. The tone makes my spine stiffen up and I do as he told me. He laughs again, seeing how I'm following his orders, when he shifts the car into gear. Without even looking at me, he drawls: "Good girl.", and I fold like a goddamn lawn chair. The little sigh dropping from my lips telling him (and me) exactly how this is making me feel.

He doesn't say anything, so I glance at him while he pulls onto the street. The smirk on his face is cocky and self-indulgent, his hair is still swept to one side and my god, the jawline with the scruff 5 o'clock shadow is doing stuff to me. The mental image forming in my head is so not safe for work.

Me splayed out on the bed, my front to the mattress. Him kneeling over me, his knees framing my ass as he's buried balls deep in my pussy. His strong hands have a tight grip on me, pushing me down into the soft sheets while he fucks me deep and slow, his hair whipping back and forth when his hips snap forward, his groin pressing up against the soft pillows of my ass repeatedly. Praise is falling from his lips, telling me that I'm his good girl, that I'm doing so well for him, that I feel so fucking good while his hand spanks my booty, alternating between my left and right cheek, reddening the skin with every slap.

His chuckle, the real König chuckling at me while driving, is pulling me from my dirty daydream and I can't help the blush forming on my cheeks. "Now where did you just drift off to?", he asks me.

"Nowhere.", I say, trying to deflect.

"Uh-huh.", he pulls up his brows, totally not believing me.

“Well, what did you expect when you told me-“ I lower my voice and mumble: “that you’re a brat tamer…” That pulls a laugh from him, a sound I’m already addicted to.

“You mean like when you told me that you’re a little brat?”, he throws back at me. “Two can play that game, Fräulein.”

I tilt my head to the side, but I can’t argue with that. “Touché.” I feel like we just dipped our toes into some unchartered territory that made everything a little bit more sexual than it already was, a little clearer where this is headed – probably sooner than later. Because even if we keep making jokes and bringing up our age difference (which I still think isn’t that bad), I can feel the pull of attraction towards him. And with the way he keeps looking at me, I’m sure he feels the same way.

We were flirty in our texts and we were touchy all evening. I remember the way my thighs hugged his neck when I sat on his shoulders. How his fingers dug into the pillowy flesh, holding me tight.

The way his arms closed around me, shielding me off from the people around us. Me shamelessly leaning into him, relishing the way his body feels against mine. How I felt safe at the concert with him as my personal bodyguard.

And every single thing heightened the feeling of need, of want, of desire that was already there when I saw him sitting at that table at the pub.

I try to hold off from squirming in my seat, having a hard time keeping my cool, especially when my eyes wander to him all the time while driving. How his knees almost graze the steering wheel, the way his knuckles strain when he grips it. His hair falling over the side of his face. The tattoos, the shirt he got hugging his biceps just the right way, just… every single detail.

I spend the ride home trying to keep my thoughts holy, but I can’t. His image and my imagination don’t seem to mix well.

He pulls up to my apartment complex, parking the car and turning the engine off, but he keeps the sound system running. He turns to me and the sentence I wanted to say gets stuck in my throat. I wanted to thank him for taking me to the concert, making me feel safe. Very obviously going out of his own comfort zone to accommodate me. Even when we still didn’t know each other for that long.

But the way he’s looking at me shuts me up before I can start talking. His gaze is intense, just like before and the effect is all the same. And I can’t tear my eyes from him, drinking him in.

“Don’t look at me like that.”, he says, not breaking eyecontact.

I bat my eyelashes at him, feigning nonchalance. “Like what?”

A little growl drops from his lips and the sound sends a wave of need between my legs. Like I even needed more of that. He leans a bit forward, inching closer and closer. “Like you want me to do something about this tension between us.”, he whispers, low and darkly.

“Maybe I do want that.”, I answer and he doesn’t need more encouragement than that.

His hands grab my face, his fingers tangle in my hair, and he presses his lips onto mine. His hold on me is soft, but the kiss is fiery. And for the first time I can really feel that he wants me as desperately as I want him.

I grab him, his t-shirt, pulling him against me. I can feel his broad chest under my fingertips, the warmth of his body, the hard muscles that I also was snuggled up against before. His leatherjacket falls from my shoulders and pools around my hips.

“Fuck.”, he grunts against my lips, letting one hand drop down to push the car seat back. He pulls me with him, onto his lap, my thighs spreading over it. His hand brushes down my back as his mouth finds mine once more to kiss me, feverish, demanding, needy. And I answer it with the same fervor, brushing my tongue against his, moaning as I taste him for the first time. The flavour of beer that we both drank cutting through his own scent.

He grabs my ass cheek, squeezing it through the fabric of my skirt and the touch is making me squirm in his lap, grinding onto him. I feel his hard length against me, straining against his jeans, my tights and panties not really being a barrier as I roll my hips, relishing the feeling of the fabric on my wetness. The feeling of his dick right underneath me.

“Do you wanna come upstairs?”, I breathe against his lips. I almost add that I don’t want to give my neighbors a show, but that seems to be a little on the nose.

He pulls my head back a bit, his eyes searching mine and I can see the unbridled lust in them. Other than that, it seems like he’s exercising restraint, stopping the movement of my hips on his lap. “If we do that, we’re gonna fuck.”, he states matter-of-factly.

His words colour my cheeks red. “I guess so.” is all I manage to say because the imagination alone is already making me hotter than I was before.

His gaze flits between my right and left eye, back and forth, like the answers are already pouring out of them. “Are you sure you want this?”, he asks softly.

I break eyecontact and nod because this whole interaction is making me shy all of a sudden. The brattiness is gone.

His hand that was still tangled in my hair strokes down the side of my face until his fingers grab my chin and turn it up, to make me look at him again. “Use your words, Liebes. Do you want me to fuck you?”, he rewords his question.

My breath halts in my throat and for a moment my mind goes completely blank. I just stare at him, swallowing down the nervousness I feel. “Yes.”, I answer him, my voice steadier than I would have expected.

He pulls up one of his eyebrows, looking at me like he’s expecting something more, the serious expression on his face turning heated and cocky.

“Please.”, I whisper which earns me a satisfied growl as he captures my lips again. The kiss is sloppier than the ones before, he bites my lower lip which sends a zap of pleasure right to my core and makes me moan against his lips some more.

He pulls back a little bit, his hot mouth pressing small pecks to my cheek and down to my neck, all while scooping me up and opening up the car door. He presses me flush against him as he gets out the car with me in his grasp, making sure I don’t bump my head on the car frame.

My arms wrap around his neck, my fingers digging into his shoulder, holding onto him, my thighs resting against his hips, while he locks the car and just uses one arm to steady me, like I weigh nothing. Well, to him I probably don’t.

Determination in his step, he approaches the building and I dig into my little bag with one hand to get the keys to my flat.

part 4

~ or More Stuff in the Masterlist ~

#metalhead!könig #she likes the dark #könig #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig fanfiction #cod mw2 smut #könig smut #konig smut #cod smut #könig x reader #tw: age gap

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amityahasfanartnowapparently · 11 days ago

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That Time Fox's Fat Tits Saved The Galaxy - Chapter 8 - Amity Ax - (INTRO ONLY)

Hello! Chapter 8 is still very very VERY much in progress, but I got inspired to release the first two pages early. Think of it as an early holiday present :D

If you'd rather save it for when the whole chapter is out on ao3, DON'T look under the cut ;)

Also DISCLAIMER: this intro is liable to change at some point while I'm editing everything else. And consider all the tags in my fic applicable to this post too. You've been warned.

DroidBoy6969:

ok, like, I get why everybody is talking about the tits. I really do. don’t get me wrong, they’re great tits!! but that ass needs some appreciation too! Just LOOK at it! the MUSCLES, the ROUNDNESS, the TIGHT AS KARK PANTS—it has EVERYTHING

TallMannSpotted: @DroidBoy6969 YESSS I want to be those pants <3 <3 <3

whats_love090992: @DroidBoy69 if this is a non-tits appreciation post, I’d like to give an honorable mention to the arms and back. Hot damn. I want him to pick me up and snap me in half like a 2x4. And that v-line in the front… *chef’s kiss* Perfect. Phenomenal. Breathtaking.

xXx_R4nc0rD3str0y3r_xXx: @DroidBoy6969 get out of here butt boy this is a tit-man only site!!!!

[See 21938451 more replies]

Unfortunately_YourMother:

everyone unfollow me right now this is going to be the only thing I’m gonna post about from now on. fuck. shit. Ohmygawdzzz

kenobis_glistening_abs444:

HUGE W for the war effort that this absolute UNIT be out here serving the people, if u know what I mean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

KittyqueeN:

No joke, I just clocked out for like an hour watching this guy run on repeat. the kriffing bounce is like… hypnotic. Literal drool down my face rn. I can feel the heft of those bonkers in my SOUL

dontlookatme.:

b…boobies…

cock_expert_420001:

Look, I’ll pay any amount, PLEASE more content like this @TheRepublic. I could feel myself becoming roughly 50% more patriotic just watching this compilation

ZDprofessional:

YESSS YES YES YEEEAAAS!!! OHHH MY GODS. OH MY GODDSSS BROOOOO!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I ALSDGJDkjfifherALSDGJKHAG GRRRRRR!!!!! GRRRARRAARRRGRGRG! BRGRGRGRaaaAAAAAARRAR!GGRRGAA! I’M CRAZZY IM CRAZY IM CRAZY. YOU HAVE NO IDEAA YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!!!!! sorry ok. I’m normal now. cool tits.

NautilaRulz: @ZDprofessional Dude.

TiLeavesComments: @ZDprofessional somebody get this fine gentlebeing some water. they’re about to die of Thirst

RyurayguYuhahyrrararr: @ZDprofessional rabies core

[See 103020 more replies]

H00tH00tMutherfarker:

I can’t believe this is real. What are they FEEDING this one to make knockers like that??? He’s got some Enormous Boobs. Absolutely Perfect Pecs. A Rockin’ Pair of Hooters. A Prize-Winning Set of Black Melons. Some Tasty Teats. A Couple of Family-Sized Milk Jugs. Some Bountiful Baps. Some Gorgeous Gazoingas…[read more]

JustSomeGuy:

Listen, I get that everybody is horny about this, but I’d like to say that this trooper is like, actually NUTS. I went back to the OG video and timed it, he was in a dead sprint for like a full HOUR. The next time you’re out of breath climbing the stairs, remember this man’s existence and weep in shame.

NotMyOrder:

Clones really do be built different…

Drgahamne14156994:

Hello, I’m Dr. Garm Hamne. I’m a doctor from Corellia and earn 600k annually. I’m looking for a sugar baby who…[read more]

TheCommenterrrrrr:

Screaming crying throwing up I need him to choke me

FoShadeDingKing!!:

Damn where do I gotta go to spend the night with one of those

RRoller:

This is fake. You bantha-brained morons are falling for a government plant. This has sphotoshop written all over it.

N3varG0naGiv3: @RRoller It’s OK bro, just count backwards from 10 while you inhale the copium. It’ll be over in a snap :)

U_Up?: @RRoller because that’s what I’D do if I was trying to sphotoshop a government-approved thirst trap into looking so good it brainwashes the minds of millions. I’d make the trooper running laps in the back of the vid busty enough to belong in an art museum instead of using editing magic to make the group of buff, sweaty men duking it out in the foreground look like living gods. what a totally reasonable conclusion you’ve come to

Nvr_Gn4_Letudwn: @RRoller bruh just grow up and admit you wanna fuck him so bad it makes you looks stupid XD

[See 348079 more replies]

#star wars #fanfiction #commander fox #star wars the clone wars #my fic writing #comedy #I cannot emphasize this enough COMEDY #a sneak peak at chapter 8 :D #commander fox cc-1010 #full tags for the full fic available on ao3 #but for this snippet just be warned for general horniness and extremely mild internet flamewars #this is just the intro of chapter 8. I can assure you there are at least 35 more pages #with MORE PAGES ON THE WAY SOMEHOW??#SHIIIT

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kim-the-miserable-rat · 6 months ago

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I SAW A TIKTOK WHERE A GUY SAID THAT "LES MIS" WAS JUST A THREE HOUR MUSICAL OF THE FRENCH COMPLAINING

(and I mean, he's not entirely wrong.)

(JUST ACT 1 CAUSE I UNDERESTIMATED HOW LONG THIS WOULD TAKE ME)

So here's a list of what they complain about in each song:

LOOK DOWN: the prison system sucks

PROLOGUE: the life of an exconvict sucks

VALJEAN'S SOLILOQUY: this guy is too nice how dare he? And also the prison system still sucks.

AT THE END OF THE DAY: my workplace is full of cunts

I DREAMED A DREAM: men are the worst

LOVELY LADIES: selling my necklace, hair and becoming a prostitute to help my child is something that I have all the right to be mad about (she's completely right, Fantine you deserved sooooo much better queen)

FANTINE'S ARREST: (to the bourgeoisie asshole) stop dehumanizing me I will fight you (to javert) your justice is not fair (to Jean Valjean) It's kinda your fault that im in this situation tbh

THE RUNAWAY CART: (javert) YO HOMIE WTF ARE YOU HULK? [suspecting]or are you buff because of slavery?.....

WHO AM I?: Oh poo! Now I have to choose between lying (it will make god sad) or going back to jail (hundreds of people will lose their jobs and end up living in misery by my actions) Fuck them workers, im an honest man, lets save that one innocent man.

THE TRIAL: the justice system is flawed. Look at my sick ass tattoo in my chest. Ok nvm im going to se Fantine fuck you all.

FANTINE'S DEATH: I will never see my daughter again this is so unfair (it really is)

THE CONFRONTATION: (Jean Valjean) Javert could you FUCKING WAIT A SECOND! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO(Javert) Im going to drop all my lore in two lines that you will not get cause were all singing at the same time; and NO, you can't just go, WTF?

CASTLE ON A CLOUD: HELLO, CHILD SLAVERY???? SOMEBODY HELP THIS CHILD ASAP!!!

MASTER OF THE HOUSE: Madam Thenardier has a solo just to talk shit about his husband (and he deserves every bit of it)

THE BARGAIN: (Thenardiers) NO, OF COURSE YOU CAN'T TAKE OUR LITTLE TREASURE AWAY -unless you pay for her, that is-

PARIS (look down reprise): EVERYTHING IS AWFUL, WE HATE IT HERE!

THE ROBBERY: (Eponine) FUCK YOU MARIUS MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! (Javert) Ewwww... i hate criminals! and also poor people. Same thing to me, really.

STARS: I'm so obsessed with that fugitive that it's starting to blur into an homoerotic desire. Also HOW DARE HE to be free? I will hunt him for sport

EPONINE'S ERRAND: (Eponine) So now I have to help YOU, the boy im in love with to find a random girl? ALSO WTF DON'T GIVE ME MONEY YOU ASSHOLE.

ABC CAFE: (Enjolras) STOP WHINING MARIUS, NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR NON EXISTENT LOVE LIFE, WE ARE PLANNING A REVOLUTION HERE, YOU KNOW? Also please guys can we take this thing seriously? Please please please :(

DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING?: (the people, obviously) time to eat the rich or die trying!

RUE PLUMMET/IN MY LIFE: (Cosette) father, ur cool to be around and all that but.... Who the fuck are you? And why do we act like we are convicts running from the law (cause ur dad kinda is, sweetie)

A HEART FULL OF LOVE: (Eponine) It fucking sucks to have helped my crush find the girl he's in love with[who would have thought?] Guess I will look at them longingly from like five feet away while they confess their love for each other and purposefully ignore me.

THE ATTACK ON RUE PLUMMET: (Eponine) GODAMNIT they will think I'm one of those assholes I have to do something! Go away or I'll scream IM INSANE I WILL FUCKING DO IT. Also fuck you dad. (Babet) I DON'T FUCKING CARE ABOUT THE LORE, GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY THENARDIER (Thenardier) Im surrounded by idiots! (Jean Valjean) TIME TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, FUCK EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO SEE MY DOWNFALL.

ONE DAY MORE: (Jean Valjean) Kinda sucks to have to run from the law [yeah homie we noticed that] (Marius & Cosette) OH NO! I'LL BE SEPARATED FROM THE LOVE OF MY LIFE THAT I MET A WEEK AGO. WHAT A GREAT TRAGEDY (Eponine) Marius still doesnt care about me. (Enjolras) He's not complaining, he's having the best time of his life. Good for him. Enjoy it while it lasts, citizen! (Javert) Guess I'll go as a spy with this cool new outfit. [Again, not a complain but important to notice]

OK, THIS DESCENDED INTO MADNESS.

EXPECT ACT 2 SOON :)

#les miserables #les mis #marius pontmercy #enjolras #jean valjean #Javert #valvert #fantine #cosette #thenardiers #eponine #babet #24601

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curlyjohnlock · 3 months ago

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Hi,

I'm new to this. I'm genuinely curious how johnlock fandom happened. I watched sherlock and didn't notice any chemistry between them. I'm just trying to understand. And how do you feel about Ben and Martin not liking each other in real life? Thanks.

Hello anon!

The Johnlock fandom was born long before BBC Sherlock aired. I think there was a speculation about them in the late 1800s but, obviously, talking about homosexuals was out of the question at the time. But the ship took off in 2010, when it all started.

I have met several people in the fandom who told me they didn't notice anything romantic between the two at first viewing, but then they had to change their minds with rewatches.

Now, it must be said that the characters themselves constantly imply that the two of them behave like a couple.

1. Mrs Hudson

From the first moment, in A Study in Pink, she believes that Sherlock has brought his new 'boyfriend' home.

In The Empty Hearse, she can't believe that John is now engaged to a woman.

"So soon after Sherlock?"

"Hmm... well, yes."

"What's his name?"

"It's a woman."

"A wOmAn?!?" and then she laughs. She sounds rather incredulous, perhaps believing he is moking her.

"You really have moved on, haven't you?"

2. Mycroft

Nobody knows Sherlock better than Mycroft. In A Study in Pink, when he meets John for the first time, he says: "Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?" and literally Sherlock and John met the DAY BEFORE! Why would Mycroft bother stalking a poor army doctor if he doesn't believe that Sherlock could be attracted to him? 🤷🏼‍♀️

In The Final Problem, Mycroft already knew that Sherlock would sacrifice him and save John. Sherlock loves John more than Mycroft, AND HE'S HIS OWN BROTHER!

3. Angelo [the restaurant owner in A Study in Pink (although I prefer the one in the Unaired Pilot, better known as the Gay Pilot)].

Angelo has known Sherlock for years, and why would he make Sherlock attractive to John? "Hey, you know this macho guy got me out of prison?" "OH! Wait! I'll get you a phallus candle, that'll be very romantic. 🥰😍😛"

4. Donovan

In The Great Game, when Sherlock finds the abandoned car, Donovan says to John: "I see you're still hanging around him. Opposites attract, I suppose."

This one may not be the best example, but it's worth including.

5. Irene Adler

My God that woman. She's in love with Sherlock, and that's fine. Who wouldn't fall in love with Sherlock or his brain? But she also knows that Sherlock only has his heart set on John. In A Scandal in Belgravia, when they go to her house, she immediately says to Sherlock: "And somebody loves you. If I had to punch that face, I'd avoid your nose and teeth too."

Then, when John goes to Battersea and meets her, she asks: "Are you jealous?"

"We're not a couple."

"Yes, you are."

Again, she met them for literally 3 minutes and immediately realised it!

6. Mary

Mary should hate Sherlock to death (and I'm still convinced that she never liked Sherlock).

What was that proverb again? Respect the owner's dog for your own sake. It means: like the dog to please the owner. Or something like that.

In this case, the owner is John and the dog is Sherlock. It's obvious that at a certain point Mary starts shipping them, almost as if she doesn't really care about John.

7. Magnussen

In His Last Vow, Magnussen meets Sherlock and John for a few minutes, and immediately tells them: "You two are sooo domesticated." Later in the episode, he tells Sherlock that John is "your damsell in distress."

I hope this was exhaustive from Johnlock's point of view! Maybe try looking at it from another point of view and rewatch the whole serie. At that point, if you're still not convinced, it's okay, anon, we don't bite!

Moving on to Benedict and Martin... we all know that Martin has a particular character and that he has trouble getting along with literally anyone, but I don't believe the newspapers. They are journalists, they HAVE to cause a SCANDAL!! Otherwise no one would read them. They take sentences from a completely different context and pass them off as true. Take for example when it was said that Benedict had called Martin 'pathetic.'

There is a video of this interview. The presenter asked Benedict to drink tea the way Martin drinks it, Benedict imitates him and then says 'pathetic', but it is not strictly intended to refer to Martin.

I know for a fact that Martin took it out on Benedict when he got married to Sophie Hunter, just because he didn't invite Martin to his wedding. On the same day, Amanda reported Martin's tantrums on twitter!!! 🤣🤣

Anyway! Even if the rumors were true, it doesn't matter. It's their problem, not ours.

Yes, it may upset us as fans, but these two are real people in the real life.

I'll conclude with this. If you have any other questions, feel free to contact me again! And anyone is welcome to comment on this or ask me anything. 👋🏻

#bbc sherlock #sherlockbbc #john watson #johnlock #sherlock #sherlock bbc #sherlock holmes #martin freeman #benedict cumberbatch #sherlock fandom #sherlock holmes/john watson #sherlock x john #sherl

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incorrect-riordanverse · 1 year ago

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finally reading tsats here are my live thoughts (spoilers, obviously):

i’m so excited because some pages are darkly decorated and its so cool. still don’t vibe with the title though (the sun IS a star and its peeving me)

why are we talking about dating darth vader 😟 where are we rn (anakin is a yes, but DARTH VADER???)

maybe i’m too old but the jokes are not funny 😭

“this whole place feels like my soul. empty and dark. dark as the pit of the underworld.” <- i don’t care if he’s joking nico would never say thissss 🙏😭 we’re only 10 pages in but please stop butchering my fav character he’s not himselffff i am cringing so bad

i know i’m being dramatic but if they do nico dirty in this book i’m going to end it all

oh my god i don’t think i’ve thought about the words “significant annoyance” in so long. bringing back good memories for sure.

i can tell which parts were written by riordan and which parts were written by oshiro. i don’t think their voices are blending very well together…

also, maybe it’s because it’s the start of the book and they’re trying to familiarise new readers quickly with the characters but it feels like they’re making nico the caricature of ‘emo and shadow and ebony darkness dementia raven way 🥀⛓️🖤’ and will the caricature of ‘happy and sunshine and blonde and flower gleam and glow ☀️🌈🫧’ and i usually like this dynamic when it’s not blatantly pointed out every other page. i have faith they’ll show more complexity than this later on though. future yan will let me know by the end. (future yan here, im not at the end but the characterisation def does get more complex thank gods)

oh ok so it is bob the titan

since when was nico’s actual name niccolo??? how did i forget this detail??

“you have to listen if not you’ll share my fate.” “ominous much?” <- ok he’s finally himself again guys it’s all good

the one-sided beef nico has with percy will never not be funny

“cookie monster appeared over the mouth of the jar, reached inside and gobbled up nico like the chocolate-chip cookie he was.” <- nevermind i’ve gone back to hating this book again

“what was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for the impossible?” <- i’m reminded of that time a few years back where everyone made ‘having an unrequited crush on percy’ nico’s whole fanon personality, so i’m glad they addressed this somewhat. this boy has been through so much and people really thought crushing on percy was the biggest thing to focus on about ‘nico angst.’

“we made a mistake. you have to fix it.” <- call me a red flag but if i was nico i would do anything and everything to not go. i would medicate myself so highly on sleeping pills that i can’t dream (doctor bf can go kick rocks). i would track percy and annabeth down and haul their asses into tartarus instead to do it. and if i had to go i would only go in to kill bob myself for sending me those traumatic ass nightmares. no thx. bro willingly jumped in himself and now wants me to save him. nuh uh.

not cupid being will 😭 its like his aphrodite 😭 i am not well.

they always have a really good and emotionally moving scene and they ruin it with a dumb joke. let it be heavy 👏👏

something’s really fishy and i have a feeling that it might not be bob calling for him

if this whole “grumpy ball of darkness” thing continues i will actually lose it

you can’t tell me the percabeth pep talk was actually needed. i will forgive it because i miss them though

im sensing tension in the gap between nico’s connection to the underworld and his relationship with will and i’m here for ittttt. give me the dramaaa

who is the gorgyra girl and why is she in their business sm?

oh shit a will solace pov??? christmas came early 🙏

nevermind that whole nightmare sequence was so fucked up 😭😭

somebody HELP HIM i never thought we would get will angst (nico angst fs, but will???)

DONT JUMP IN THE STYX PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL HIM HE’S HELPFUL OMG

nico strangling epiales in his sleep is so fucking cool he’s literally HIM he’s literally THAT GUY

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gods-favorite-autistic · 5 months ago

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Fantasy High Incorrect Quotes

Fig: I can explain.

Sandra Lynn: Can you?

Fig: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Kristen: A theif.

Adaine: Thief?

Kristen: Theif.

Adaine: I before E, except after C.

Kristen: Thceif.

Adaine: No

Somebody: How many kids do you have?

Jawbone: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

Riz: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Fabian's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

Kristen: Change is inedible.

Gorgug: Don't you mean inevitable?

Kristen, spitting out coins: No, I did not

Riz: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Sklonda: You're like 15 years old

Riz: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

Fig: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Fabian: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

Jawbone: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Kristen: Thank you

Jawbone: I didn't say that was a good thing

Kristen: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Fig giving bardic: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Gorgug: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

Riz: Please, I'm begging you go to Kristen.

Fabian: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Kipperlily: Okay. I get it. We’ve had a really hard time lately, we’re stressed out, seven people died-

Ivy: Twelve, actually.

Kipperlily: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Oisin: Yours!

Kipperlily: That's right: no one's.

Fabian: Okay, truth or dare?

Riz: Truth

Fabian: How many hours have you slept this week?

Riz:

Riz: ...Dare

Fabian: Go to bed.

Riz: I don’t like this game.

Gorgug: Why are you on the floor?

Fig: I'm depressed.

Fig: Also I was stabbed, can you get Kristen, please.

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Jawbone please come to the front desk?

Jawbone, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Fig and Kristen*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Fig and Kristen, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Jawbone: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Riz: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Sklonda: Riz no.

Adaine: Mistlefoe.

Sklonda: Please stop encouraging him.

Adaine: Hey Kristen,

Kristen: Yes?

Adaine: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Kristen:

Kristen: Where’s Aelwyn?

Fabian: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Adaine: Just rip the bandage off.

Fabian: It’s Aelwyn.

Adaine: Put the bandage back on.

Riz: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Fabian: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Riz: Yes!

Kristen: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Jawbone: I trust the Bad Kids.

Sandra Lynn: You think they know what they're doing?

Jawbone: I wouldn't go that far.

Fig: If Kristen and I were drowning, who would you save?

Adaine: You two can’t swim?

Kristen: It’s a hypothetical question, Adaine! who would you save?

Adaine: my time and effort.

Fig: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Gorgug: You were flirting with Ayda.

Fig: So what? She’s my girlfriend.

Gorgug: You asked her if she was single.

Fig:

Gorgug: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

Fig: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Kristen: The car takes a screenshot.

Gorgug, fixing the Hangvan: For the last time, get the fuck out.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Fabian: Shit.

Riz: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Fig: OH MY GOD KRISTEN FELL OFF!!!

Fig: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Kristen: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Fig: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ADAINE WITH ME

Gorgug, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Riz: *Gently taps table*

Adaine: *Taps back*

Kristen: What are they doing?

Fabian: Morse code.

Riz: *Aggressively taps table*

Adaine: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

Gorgug: Riz isn’t answering his phone

Fabian: I’ll call

Gorgug: Adaine and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Riz: Hello?

Adaine: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Fabian: Rude.

Fig: That’s fair.

Kristen: Not again.

Riz: Are you going to want this back?

Adaine: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Fig: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Kristen: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Riz: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Sandra Lynn: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Adaine: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Fabian: Several traffic violations.

Kristen: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Riz: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Fig: Also, that’s not our car.

Adaine: Are we really going to let Fabian keep Riz?

Fig: We kept Kristen.

Fabian, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Kristen: Hey.

Adaine: Hi.

Gorgug: Hello.

Fig: Hey!

Fabian: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Riz: We were out of Doritos.

#autism (mads) speaks #fantasy high #fhjy #dimension 20 #dimension 20 fhjy #d20 fantasy high #d20 #incorrect quotes

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goodnightmemes · 1 year ago

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THE CRAFT (1996) SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ I can't stay home and watch daytime TV for the rest of my life. ❜

❛ The almanac says today will bring an arrival of something. ❜

❛ We need someone to call out the corners-- north, south, east and west. ❜

❛ I am sorry. My defenses are up. People here have been really rude to me. ❜

❛ He comes on to anything with tits. ❜

❛ Everything in nature steals, you know. Big animals steal from little ones. ❜

❛ Maybe you're a natural witch. Your power comes from within. ❜

❛ I had a dream about you. In my dream, you were dead. ❜

❛ Man invented God. This is older than that. ❜

❛ Do you guys worship the devil? ❜

❛ Sometimes I will want it to rain, and a pipe will burst in my room and it will just get flooded. Or I will want it just to be quiet, and I will wish for it, and I will go deaf for three days straight. ❜

❛ Nothing makes everything all better again. ❜

❛ Maybe he was just trying to save face then... because... he's going around the whole school saying that... you're the lousiest lay he's ever had. ❜

❛ Why'd you lie about me? ❜

❛ Look, I don't want to go out with you again. Okay? Please stop begging. It's pathetic. ❜

❛ She's gonna cry, and then I am gonna cry. We're all gonna cry. ❜

❛ You girls watch out for those weirdos. ❜

❛ We are the weirdos. ❜

❛ Did you tell your friends? That you're a lying sack of shit. ❜

❛ Did you ever play that game, light as a feather, stiff as a board? ❜

❛ I think she doesn't want to be white trash any more. And I told her, "You're white, honey. Just deal with it." ❜

❛ Ever since I was a little girl I said, “All I want in life is a juke box that plays nothing but Connie Francis records.' ❜

❛ It's just that I can't stop thinking about you. I don't know why, but I think I love you. ❜

❛ I don't know what's happening to me. I can't eat. I can't sleep. ❜

❛ When you open a floodgate, how do you undo it? You unleash something with a spell. There is no undoing. It must run its course. ❜

❛ You should let him suffer. ❜

❛ It's not for you to judge suffering. ❜

❛ True magic is neither black nor white. It's both because nature is both. Loving and cruel, all at the same time. The only good or bad is in the heart of the witch. ❜

❛ Whatever you send out you get back times three. ❜

❛ You want to invoke the spirit? You must be experienced to do this. It's very dangerous. ❜

❛ You know, the serpent is a very powerful being. You should respect it. ❜

❛ Listen, all I am saying is I think it's enough already. ❜

❛ I know you think we're getting what we want now, but it's going to come back to us threefold. ❜

❛ Are we actually having a theological conversation here? ❜

❛ I mean, it's fun, it's scary. I mean, who gives a shit? ❜

❛ Stop trying to win them over, because it won't work. ❜

❛ How do you know what I look like? We're talking on the phone. ❜

❛ I disagreed with them once, and they turned their backs on me. That's not friendship. ❜

❛ Sometimes it's like we're one person. Know what I mean? ❜

❛ You should have seen the look in his eyes. It was so weird. They seemed empty, like it wasn't even him. ❜

❛ You're a witch! They were right. ❜

❛ The only reason you're in love with her is because she cast a spell on you. Sad, but true. ❜

❛ You don't even exist to me! You don't even exist. You are nothing. ❜

❛ The only way you know how to treat women is by treating them like whores! ❜

❛ He's sorry? Oh, he's sorry! He's sorry! He's sorry! Sorry, my ass! ❜

❛ Don't touch me! Everything I touch turns to shit. ❜

❛ You know, in the old days if a witch betrayed her coven... they would kill her. ❜

❛ I know I don't know you very well, but I just didn't know where else to go. ❜

❛ And now, it's like everywhere I turn, they're all around me. No matter what I do, ❛ they're still there. I don't know what to do. ❜

❛ She's inside my dreams. She knows what's going on inside my head. She can read my mind. ❜

❛ I can't control it. I always end up hurting somebody. ❜

❛ You must invoke the spirit. ❜

❛ If it isn’t real then why are you still bleeding? ❜

❛ Run! Run back up to your room like the little coward that you are. ❜

❛ What's going on? Why aren't you dead? ❜

❛ He came to me. Saved me. And he wanted me to give you a message. You're in deep shit. ❜

❛ By the way, what happened to [name]? They rushed out of here without even saying good-bye. That's bad manners. ❜

❛ Relax. It's only magic. ❜

❛ Look. I know I am a little crazy. I don't mean to be. ❜

❛ It all got out of hand, and I am sorry. No more games, okay? ❜

❛ We were just wondering, do you still have any powers? Because we don't. ❜

❛ Hold your breath until I call. ❜

❛ Be careful. You don't want to end up like [name]. ❜

#rp meme #rp prompt #sentence starters #sentence meme #roleplay prompts #role #inbox meme #askbox meme #rp prompts #rp memes #*movie

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halevren · 6 months ago

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Never Stop Blowing Up Spoilers || my live thoughts as I watch episode 1

Oh we are so back chat. I will do my best to do this for all 10 episodes but honestly? It's all up to my mental health 🔥🔥

Honestly I'm already on the verge of tears after learning that Brennan made this season as a homage to Izzy.... THAT'S SO SWEET 😭😭😭

INTRO IS SO COOL!!!!!

HELLO ONE AND ALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!

HI AMAZING ACTION STARSSSSS

This cast is so loaded I'm so in love with it

lovely cardigan!

I like the DM screen it's so neat

Ify looks like he just came from the season finale of FHJY

TURBO TOKENNNN 🔥🔥🔥

Rekha's hair looks so incredible, those curls are PERFECT

what flavor of monster. what's the new flavor. I need this world building info Brennan please

Dave's video world

fun fact my favorite race car is a charger. I don't know anything about them and can't recognize then but very often I have pointed out a car to my mom like "that's a nice car" and 9 times out of 10 it's a charger 😭😭

Wendell Morris I fw you

the captions not being accurate is lowkey annoying but whatever.

UC Irvine

I love Jake's laugh so much

"You can't spend your whole life playing dodo games" "it's Dota 2..."

Liv Skyler!

5'6 perfect height for a woman— actually any height is good be whatever height your heart desires

Liv is a klepto. real as hell (sorry)

Webster's is trash

"You never know Ms. D" "No, I know."

Take it back. Take it back.

WENDELL IS PAINFULLY AWKWARD I LOVE HIM

Floppy-droppy disk

Kingskin is so calm as he crushes somebody

This is Usha, she is 100 years old

I would die for Usha

"Who are you calling?" "I'm tryna call everybody."

I love Usha so goddamn much

"Everybody you see, say hi"

does everyone have 4s across the board for abilities

need to unplug to save battery

DAVE 🔥🔥🔥

🤘🤘

NO DIAL TONE BECAUSE SHE UNPLUGGED IT

Usha, you're my rock

ALLY AND JAKE UNCLE AND NEPHEW DUO

Russell I think I'm romantically attracted to you

ok chill russell

"That bastard made it..."

"A lot of positive sentiments from contents not in your phone." 😭

Jennifer is giving me a strange sense of gender envy as someone who doesn't identify with gender

God I love Cait May's art

Tough Kill

CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT

"Hey guys, sorry I'm on time"

Pants are more patches than pants

More patch than pant

MY NAUGHTY LITTLE DREAM LAND

All these characters are incredible how could I ever choose a fav (I think Usha is my fav. She's special to my heart)

Greg Stocks 📈

Mr. Everybody

Lunch dates all the time

PURRS????

A TON OF SPERM

PAULA

buxom

USHA UNPLUGGED THE CAMERAS ON THE ROOF

YOU WANNA RIP MY CARPET

slamming it down like a laptop

TOUGH KILL 🔥🔥

Jack Manhattan

I love Izzy so so much

"You calling me a chicken, Johan? because I'm actually the cock of the walk."

THIS CAST IS PERFECT

Are you doing menopause???

This is the best cast for bits

He's not jacking off, just talking to the alien

Rashab

He's in me and I'm him

he was 100% getting eaten by a snake

A LOT OF MEDICINES

BLUE LEMONADE CALYPSO!!! REAL AS HELL!! BEST FLAVOR

"Favorite movies:

Never stop blowing up

Never stop blowing up"

The constrast between Usha and Paula with Barsimmeon

WENDALL COMING IN CLUTCH WITH THE ALIBI

Brennan said the title, roll the credits

YOU NEED TO ROLL AN 8 ON A D4

COCAINE BABY

"That's cocaine."

SIXXXX EXPLOSION

This is so cool

RASHAB IS REAL

HOW AM I RUNNING SO FAST AND HARD

The scene story boards are so cool

I LOVE USHA

"DID IT WORK??????"

the latex is so loud

HOPE YOU ENJOY THE LATE FEES? THAT BUFF GUY WAS BARSIMMEONS?

NEXT EPISODE IS THE LEATHER JACKET

I'm so excited

This season will be my favorite

#dimension 20 never stop blowing up #d20 never stop blowing up #never stop blowing up #dimension 20 #d20 #spoilers #never stop blowing up spoilers #dimension 20 nsbu #d20 nsbu #nsbu spoilers #nsbu

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a-crystalclearsquid · 8 months ago

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Always an angel, never a god.

Jon, on his brightest, could make Damian feel anything and everything like no other. He would simply smile and Damian would breathe easier. Jon could simply express his kindness as he always does and the latter would fall a little more in love. It would be that Jon would immediately stop whatever it was that he was doing in favor of comforting a homeless guy in the street. Jon, who would be patient with a child who refuses to listen to the mother out in public.

It was always the little things- the smallest gestures that caught Damian off guard on how easy it was to fall in love again when he thought that he was completely taken over.

But even on Jon’s darkest days, it would not deter Damian.

It would be that a bully would wear out Jon’s patience and throw the first hit or even when he would completely avoid talking or making contact with anyone else just because the day is not going his way. Or even being irritated at his friends’ tiniest movements because he has an assignment due and he could not concentrate.

All those things simply meant that Jon was also human (as he was) and had his flaws. It made Damian appreciate his partner more.

The fact that Jon has his own human struggles as the rest of them had Damian be comforted but also annoyed as he could not ease it away.

So what he does is to be a better partner more in the battlefield. That way, he knows he could prevent Jon from experiencing the harsher wounds.

It comes in many forms as it is displayed through thousands, millions even, ways: Love.

It’s so hard to put it into words.

Especially for Damian, who was taught that actions proved better evidence to one’s thoughts and feelings. While he simple does not disagree, there are times when one has to use words where one’s actions are not sufficient or is the most appropriate way to let somebody know just how much you care about them.

An example would be right now, where Damian is helpless besides Jon, who is recovering inside a kryptonian pod in the Fortress of Solitude.

Where, even to the best of Damian’s medicine and surgical knowledge, is unable to assist in any way to the recovery of a comatosed Jon Kent.

All that knowledge and practice and for what? To be told that the best he could do as of now is to converse one-sidedly to Jon in hopes they would get a reaction out of him.

So here he is, the grandson of the Demon, proclaimed assassin by the age of 8, Robin to two Batman by the age of 10, has died at least three times by the age of 14, and completely helpless to by the bedside of the love of his life at 21, struggling to form words to bring back his lover from the depths of his own subconscious.

“Jonathan,“ he says his name as how one might start a prayer. “Habibi,“

my love, my life,

He grips the wrist of Jon, to feel the faint pulse, assuring himself that Jon is still here.

“I miss your warmth,

and I miss your presence.

I miss you in every waking hour, knowing you’re barely within my reach.

And I’m tempted,

oh, so tempted to bring you to the waters where I was born.

Yet, I am not so desperate as to turn my back on everything that I have fought for -that we have fought for- just for you to be disappointed in me when you return.

I have yet to lose faith that you’d never wake.

And it was because you have made me promise to by your side and never lose hope.

So here I am,

Barely holding on to hope,

Always on the edge on doing the drastic measures.

The only thing stopping me?

That would be you,

My most and dearest beloved.

All these years, and all the doubts everyone in my life has given me, save for you.

You had never given up on me, you’ve always been by my side, and you’ve always rooted for me even in times I don’t deserve,

You have made me felt no safer than in your arms.

So please,”

Damian begged,

“Return to me and make me feel safe within your comfort again.

As you have been by my side, I am also here, Jonathan.

Return to me and I will show you my devotion.

My faith wavers not as I wait for you, no matter how impatient I might seem.

Please come back to me,“

With nothing to do but sit and wait by Jon’s bedside, barely sleeping in case of missing something, his brothers bring him his books and his sketchpad.

They also bring him Alfred the cat for company, who was now sleeping by Jon.

He appreciates the little distractions, though it does no good as he keeps on looking over Jon every few minutes.

So he inclines to bring out his sketchpad and starts imitating the sleeping form of his little feline friend, and when he’s done with that, he sketches everything else he could see within his sights.

And when he also exhausts those within his peripheral vision, his hand finally gets the courage to draw Jon.

It wasn’t like the other portraits of Jon sleeping he has done so far.

It’s different, but also the same.

The way that it’s so peaceful gives out a nice scene. The way that Jon’s bruises and cuts are now mostly gone relieves Damian. The way Alfred the cat is calmly rested on top of Jon’s chest, comforting both pet and owner of the repeated rise and fall movement.

He finishes the sketch and Damian wishes he had paint with him, so that he may properly bring the art to life.

He was tired now.

Though trained by the best to function for weeks with limited to no amount of sleep, Damian couldn’t help his tired eyes and his tired mind, grudingly succumbing to slumber, but not before taking in Jon’s hand in his.

He yearns for the hour Jonathan wakes again.

To be able to recieve and exchange smiles with his beloved again.

Damian rests his eyes, knowing he will easily wake at the slightest movement of his beloved.

Even for just a simple twitch of the finger, or on the skipped heartbeat of the monitor, Damian is most confident he will be able to detect it.

For now, he simply escapes to the plains of his dreams, hoping his subconscious grants his wish. Even though knowing that it would not be real, he would at least get to spend a second reliving on a far-away memory or to experience a new one.

For whatever can emphasize his hopes and faiths, Damian will always be waiting in the land amongst mortals.

#alex writes #jondami #damijon #jonathan kent #damian wayne #mostly #i haven't posted this on ao3 yet #i'm supposed to work on my research report right now #but procrastinated with this #this one is very raw and it hasn't been cleaned up yet so a lot of mistakes #i will post this on ao3 once i'm done with my report and have proofread the fic again #this is just me letting out steam from stress #lots of grammar mistakes and typos #so read at your own risk? haha #this is how i destress: pouring out my creativity lmaoo

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sawturn77 · 1 year ago

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𝑶𝑪𝑬𝑨𝑵 𝑬𝒀𝑬𝑺 (𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)

02: somebody I used to know.

MASTERLIST.

january 1st, 2018.

----

suguru saved me from the awkward silence and wiggly eyebrows from satoru. "y/n! come help me set up the table, please!" "coming!" i bolted out of there. phew, at least im free from embarrassment now. . once i got in the kitchen, yuji and nobara were arguing about who was going to eat the most food. suguru handed me the utensils that went on the table. i realized hadn't talked to him since i got home. he gently patted my head instead of ruffling my hair like satoru. "how was your visit to the ice rink?" he asked, gently smiling at me. "It was good, until i hit my head and fell on my butt." suguru chuckled at my defeated tone. i started to set the table, placing the chopsticks, spoons, etc in front of every seat. i watch as yuji and nobara approach him, talking to him comfortably. i didnt know they were friends with megumi. he seems like the closed off type, especially now.

----

soon, shoko arrives and everyone eats. i have to admit, my brother sure can cook. im starting to think hes like satoru's malewife..anyways, after everyone finished eating, we had a drawing, and whoever drew the short stick had to wash dishes while everyone else got to play uno. God was NOT favoring me today. there were two short sticks, and guess who got them! me and megumi. FREAKING MEGUMI. you know what? it cant get more awkward than this.... right?

wrong.

here, we stood right beside each other, shoulder touching shoulder, leg touching leg. i wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. the worst part was, he wasn’t even bothered by it! he didn’t even acknowledge it! surely, if i was him, i’d at least be stealing glances! oh, well, maybe he isnt that kind of guy. he was never interested in stuff like that. the two of us stood at the kitchen sink, washing dishes. the entire time, i was wondering how to start a conversation and barely got anything done! megumi had done most of it. now he probably thinks im useless! he’ll never associate himself with someone so unhelpful. “so,” i started, lips trembling. he glances at me. how come his eyelashes are so long? does he use mascara? “how..how have you b-been lately?” i wanted to curse myself. who the hell stutters nowadays!? “alright. what about you?” i could feel my shoulders tensing. i had heard his voice earlier, but now, im really paying attention to it. just thinking about it makes my stomach do axles. “good, actually.” i smiled, desperate to keep myself from squealing. minutes past, he hasnt said anything after that. okay, you dont wanna talk to me, cool. fine. whatever. (squealing) part of me wanted yuji and nobara to come in and start being annoying to break the ice. hell, maybe even satoru would do. after what seemed like decades, we finally finished washing the dishes. i sighed in relief, but i couldnt have a moment of grace before my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. i felt a napkin on my cheek, wiping soap off my face. “sorry,” he muttered. kill. me. please. “you had soap on your face.” i laughed awkwardly while he just looked at me, “really? i-uhm, i didn’t know! thanks.” what the hell, y/n?? what is your problem??

yuji and nobara ran towards me and megumi, bombarding us with a fury of words i didnt understand. something along the lines of, “guess what?? i won against mr. gojo!” “no, kugisaki cheated!” “the hell? i didnt cheat! all of you just suck!” “cheater cheater, pumpkin eater!” “grow up!” megumi frowned at their antics. “idiots” he muttered.

an: hey guys sorry for the short chapter😔i kinda rushed bc i have to gts early bc i have school tmrw. but i will be posting tomorrow or the day after that! it normally takes me two days (4 hours total) to write this much anyway

TAGLIST: @fillmeup6969 @morgyyyyy @kasumitenbaz (OPEN)

#jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #gojo satoru #geto suguru #nobara kugisaki #yuji itadori #fushiguro x reader

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beanghostprincess · 11 months ago

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My current favourite crackship that I just created myself is Hiyori×Alive!Kuina. Just because if she can't get Zoro she'll just go for his cousin instead.

You're a genius. Your brain is huge. Please, let me kiss your brain. This is just amazing. I love lesbians. You're SO real-

Hiyori is easily one of my favorite characters and I love her SO much and people won't stop reducing her to her ship with Zoro. I think she doesn't need anybody and if she did want somebody it should be a girl. Because I say so. And Kuina is just,,, She would've been such a great character. Can't stop thinking about this fanart I found because it has changed my life for the better. She's in Wano to train to become the world's greatest swordsman and I'm just thinking about what if Kuina had been there to help them out too and she had been the one to save Hiyori all those times instead of Zoro.... Thinking thoughts. Like, of course, Hiyori and Zoro also have their moments because I do actually like their dynamic and I think she admires him a lot!! But you know. Kuina saves Hiyori a couple of times (when Zoro was going to do it, actually, she just appears like a second before him and ruins his moment) and Hiyori just melts. Because who wouldn't? Kuina would be so tall and strong and a sizeable woman, and I would personally die if she helped me save my country. Besides, I think they'd understand each other because both are women that have been reduced to that role specifically instead of their ambitions and their power and they're so much more. Hiyori was helpless when she had to see her country turn into this mess and she couldn't so anything else but to pretend,, Like-- If somebody knows how being a woman in the world works is Hiyori, and Kuina would understand. She'd admire Kuina so much for her abilities and her personality and ambitions!!!!!! And Kuina would absolutely love Hiyori's kindness and strength for being able to put up with so much!!!

Not to mention that Kuina would be taller than her,,, And bigger,,, And Hiyori would have to look up,, And this is now just the aesthetic part but God they'd look so different. That's Hiyori's guard dog. Wouldn't it be funny if Kuina were all serious and teasing with Zoro and like "*raises eyebrow* seriously?" type of masc girl, and the second Hiyori is around she turns into the happiest person in the world and extremely protective of her? Zoro judges her but he can't say shit because he's literally the same with Luffy (and Kuina teases him even more because she always has the upper hand and it makes him so angry). They're both down bad. Hiyori is just so nice to her and keeps saying she trusts her to become the world's greatest swordsman but even if she doesn't, she'll always have her heart and a place to stay in Wano. And I am weak, guys, I am so weak for lesbians.

Aghhh this is SO good. Somebody make them kiss. I- This is great. Oda could just say "ah yes Kuina actually escaped her hometown on her own and faked her death and traveled to Wano" and I'd believe him wholeheartedly because I want her back. I also want Hiyori back. I miss Wano sometimes a lot.

Also, Kuina sees Zoro with Enma and she goes:

Kuina: Oh cool, you got Hiyori's sword. Good luck with that one. Zoro: Do you want it or what? I am not giving it to you. You'll have to fight for it. Kuina: Nah, when I win our fight I want to win against the king of hell. Nothing less. Zoro: Where's the 'I can't win I'm a girl' bullshit now? Kuina: Stayed with the girl. Now I am a woman and I am going to beat your ass.

And Hiyori looking at them having the biggest lesbian moment in the world kicking her feet and blushing and Momo is next to her like "hehe you have a crush-" and he doesn't get to finish what he was saying because Hiyori hits him so fucking hard he faints. Don't tease her. Poor girl. She's in love, leave her alone.

#please i know i am the first one to explain the meaning behind kuina's death but the way op treats women is just not it and i want her again #also hiyori is the love of my life she's precious to me idc she's my princess i am in love with her #i thought this post would be only about a silly crackship but they're actually consuming my brain oh my god #and when kuina has to go away from wano because she has to go achieve her dream and she goes 'i don't expect you to wait for me but-'#and hiyori just holds her hands and says 'my mother waited. i've waited. and i will keep doing it as long as you come back to me'#or something like that. and i want to cry-#i am vibrating in my fucking chair god please i love them now i need more of them so fucking bad #one piece #kozuki hiyori #shimotsuki kuina #hiyoku??? kuiyori???#i have no idea what to call this ship tumblr do your thing somebody should choose the name for me i suck at this thing #roronoa zoro #zolu #bc zolu mention there and in my head it's a very common topic between kuina and zoro okay she won't stop teasing him about it #+

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voidfxndoms · 9 months ago

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Something Blue (Part 1) // Sterek

Derek is getting married and Stiles, as his best man, decides to bring in an old bridal tradition.

Warnings: swearing, a lot of built-up feelings that don't come out in the best of ways.

W/C: 2,487 (total)

A/N: I had to split it into two parts because I was over the tumble world limit apparently??? I didn't even know tumblr HAD a word limit lmao. Anyway, hope y'all enjoy this first part :)

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

"Okay, Scott? How much time do we have?" Stiles asked, nervously pacing around the room. "Thirty minutes." "Oh my god, we're never gonna make it. Where is he? Where is Derek?" "He's going to be here, don't worry. We got plenty of time." Scott tried calming his best friend down. "It's his wedding, for God's sake! How can someone be late for their own wedding!" Stiles exclaimed, anxiety reeking off of him and invading the room. "Malia just texted me, Braeden is almost ready. I'm gonna go check on the catering and guests, maybe someone knows where he is. You need to calm down Stiles, we're gonna be fine." "I need to tell him, Scott.", Stiles said, eyes sad and shoulders slumped. "And you will. I got you." Scott smiled, putting both hands on his friends's shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I swear to God if Derek doesn't bring his werewolf ass in here right now-" "Threatening me on my wedding day? I really should have asked Scott to be my best man.". A tall, bulky figure walked into the room, pearly whites flashing as the words left his mouth. "You piece of shit!" Stiles said before taking big strides towards the groom and adjusting his tie. "Relax Stiles, everything is going according to plan. Scott, did Stiles not take his Adderall today?" Derek joked, looking over at the young alpha. Stiles huffed, then stumbled towards his backpack. Ignoring the two wolves making fun of him, he took out some things from his bag and placed them on the room's glass coffee table. "Okay. You, big bad wolf, c'mere." Derek, cocking a brow, approached the small table in the middle of the room. He observed the objects in front of him as he sat on the small sofa. "Stiles? What is this? I refuse to do any sort of voodoo ritual." Scott, standing behind Derek, looked at his best friend with a puzzled expression on his face. "I thought this was only for brides." "Well," Stiles said, "this is no ordinary wedding, so I don't see why only ordinary traditions should apply."

"Can somebody please explain to me what the hell I'm looking at, and what is this supposed to be?" Derek asked, half amused, and half annoyed. "Something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.", Stiles announced proudly as Scott rolled his eyes. Derek furrowed his eyebrows. "Oh my God," Stiles's jaw dropped. "You seriously don't know what I'm talking about?" "I have no idea what this is." the werewolf replied, confusion still plastered on his face. Before Stiles could say anything even remotely sarcastic, Scott said: "Guys, we've got twenty minutes. Stiles, make it fast." "Alright alright." the amber-eyed replied. He took a deep breath, unsuccessfully trying to calm his nerves. "As your best man,-" he started. "The worst decision of my life by the way, don't know what I was thinking." Derek interrupted him, chuckling. Stiles glared at him. "I was saying…" he continued, stressing the final word while shooting one last annoyed look at the giggly man opposite to him. "As your best man, it is my duty to make sure you enter this new chapter of your life in the best way possible, carrying bits and pieces of your life before that horrible mistake when you decided to marry Terminator's daughter." "You know her name is Braeden. And, come on, be nice to her -- she saved all of our lives. I still don't understand why you hate her so much." "It's not her that I hate…" Stiles mumbled. For a split second, Derek saw a glint in his best man's eyes. It was pure sadness, but it lasted for so little he questioned whether he'd imagined it. "Anyway, I took the liberty of borrowing a bridal tradition. In front of you you have three objects," Stiles said, before picking up the first one. "Wait, weren't they supposed to be four?" Derek questioned. "We'll get to that in a minute. Now, the first one; something old." "The triskelion?" "Yeah. This part is about having a relic, something that will always remind you about your roots. The sentimental value this thing holds is insane." Derek raised an eyebrow. "Think about it. Your mom used it to help you and your sisters learn how to control your powers. It's been in your family for years, Kate tried to steal it… you even have it tattoed on your back!" Stiles explained. "I also used it with Liam." Derek pointed out. "Yeah, but that was a total disaster." Derek looked at him, lips tight in a thin line, the eyebrow still cocked. "What? It's not my fault your whole "We can all rise and fall to another" speech didn't work." "Alright, alright. Stiles? Move on." Scott intervened, time slowly running out. He nodded, giving Derek the triskelion, who put it in the inner pocket of his tuxedo. "Object number two, something new.", Stiles said. Derek held it for a few moments, before shooting his head up and asking: "What the hell am I supposed to do with a roll of duct tape?", annoyance oozing from his voice. "Trust the process. The "something new" is an object that will help you in your new life."

Skeptic, Derek let his best man keep talking. "And now something borrowed. Courtesy of Jackson." "I don't need a bow tie, I'm already wearing a tie." "See," Stiles said, making his way to the groom, "This sentence is exactly why you need the bow tie." Kneeling before him, he undid Derek's tie and started tying the navy blue satin bow tie Jackson had lent for the occasion. Derek hardly ever wore suits, and even more rarely tuxedoes. He liked casual and comfy clothes and had no interest in the world of elegance. However, when the engagement had been announced and his closet opened, the only suit Stiles had been able to find was dusty, crumpled, and sprinkled with holes made by some very hungry moths. So he had forced the alpha to the best suit shop in Beacon Hills, where Derek had gotten a tailor-made navy blue tuxedo with black satin flaps that had been hunting Stiles in his dreams ever since the first time he had seen it on the werewolf. But Derek had drawn the line at that, refusing to spend one more dollar on his appearance, claiming that he wasn't getting married to the crowd but to Braeden. "She loves me for me. I don't give a shit about what the guests are gonna think." "You really thought I was going to let you stand there, butchering all degrees of style?" Stiles asked cockily, straightening the perfect bow he had tied. "Oh come on, you're being dramatic." Derek rolled his eyes. Stiles scoffed. "First of all, you were wearing a TIE. With a TUXEDO. Ties are worn with suits, bow ties are for tuxedoes." Derek's eyes widened slightly, surprised at the reaction. "Okay fashion police, my bad." "And let's not even mention the state of the tie you were wearing… Terrible!" "Okay- Stiles? It's okay. We get it. Move on.", Scott said, worry in his eyes. "No you don't!" Stiles almost shouted, suddenly misty-eyed.

To be continued...

#derek hale #stiles stilinski #teen wolf #sterek #angst #bestman #wedding #braeden #scott mccall #teen wolf fanfiction #writeblr #writers on tumblr #masterlist

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we-were-so-beautiful · 1 year ago

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2. day six

holy shit hi! it's me! I'm back! I will be very surprised if anybody remembers me or this story given that it's been literally six months since I posted the first chapter. my motivation, interest, energy and amount of free time for this project all fluctuate, but... this story feels like it wants to be told, and I want to tell it. so hopefully I'll manage to pop up around here with an update for it every once in a while.

Content warnings for this chapter: box boy universe, pet whump, dehumanization, cages, blood mention. I'm still getting the hang of how to tag these so please let me know if there's anything I missed.

[masterlist] [chapter one] [chapter three]

Vanessa means to wait until an hour before closing time to go to the shelter. Really, she does. She wants to give this guy as much of a chance as he can get to go home with someone, literally anyone, who’s better for him than she is. But it’s lunchtime and she’s already practically vibrating. She’s not even used to being awake by noon anymore, much less having already been up for hours refreshing the site so often it’s making her nauseous. Or maybe that’s just the all-consuming anxiety of suspense.

What if the assholes at the shelter decide that six days is close enough, and take him away before she even gets there? What if she’s fucked up and counted the days wrong, and he’s actually scheduled to die today? What if the subway’s delayed, or the shelter closes early, and she’s too late, and another person dies because she made a stupid fucking mistake?

What if, says the voice in the back of her head that she refuses to listen to, somebody takes him who’s even worse for him than me?

“Oh, fuck literally all of this,” she says to the empty room, and grabs her coat.

—

“Uh, hey, I’m here to…”

“Sign in on the sheet.” The bored-looking shelter employee doesn’t so much as glance up from her phone. Vanessa looks around; the lobby is totally devoid of anyone save for the two of them.

“I just want to know if—”

“Sign in on the sheet.”

Vanessa breathes out through her nose until her hand stops ticking long enough to write. She scribbles her name and the time, and sets the pen down with a deliberate clack on the desk directly in front of the employee.

The woman barely raises her head. “How can I help you.”

Vanessa steels herself. “Is, uh… Do you still have…” God she hates talking about people like this she hates it she hates it she hates it. “Is pet number 414374 still here? I want to…” She wants to choke on the word. “...I want to adopt him.”

The employee’s affect goes duller than ever. “Oh, he’s still here, alright,” she mutters grimly.

Vanessa only realizes how much tension she’s been holding when it floods out of her so fast she almost loses her balance. “Can I see him?”

“If you really want to,” the employee sighs. “But I’m tellin’ you, lady, you’re not gonna like what you find.”

—

“That’s him?!”

“Told you you were gonna be disappointed, lady.”

Vanessa gapes. It’s not like she’s been expecting to be okay with seeing people in cages, but she sure as shit didn’t expect… whatever the fuck she’s looking at now.

The dude is filthy, caked head to toe in blood, dirt and worse. The hair that flowed around him in his picture is matted down his back now, littered with scores of dead and decaying leaves. His ice-blue eyes are dull and unfocused. His breaths are quick and shallow, and the way they rasp in his throat makes Vanessa twitch.

He’s lying in a heap on the single layer of newspaper between him and the inch-wide mesh of the shelter-standard cage. Vanessa sucks at math, but she thinks it can’t be more than three by three by five. The shelter profile listed him at six foot two.

The employee bangs on the metal with the back of her hand, making a horrible clanging sound that makes Vanessa want to claw her own ears off. “Hey, look alive, refurb. You got one more interested owner. Maybe try to impress this one for a change?”

“Can he even—” Vanessa starts, but the guy surprises her by slowly, painfully lifting his head. The dirt that coats his skin cracks and flakes as he struggles to push himself up on his elbows. He reaches jerkily for the front of the cage, arms trembling violently with the effort, his breathing growing more and more labored as he tries to meet her gaze.

In the split second before he collapses again, she swears he manages it.

—

“I want him.”

The employee has already turned to go, talking over her shoulder as she ambles back toward the desk. “Yeah, so if you're lookin’ for a fancy one you could try the Manhattan shelter, they sometimes—hang on, you what?” She twists back abruptly as the words actually register.

“I want him,” Vanessa says again.

The employee stares at her for a long, long minute. Vanessa can almost see her fighting the urge to blurt out, “why?” Finally, though, she collects herself, with a wildly overexaggerated shrug of her shoulders.

“It’s your money, lady,” she says, and unlocks the cage.

#whump #pet whump #rescue whump #recovery whump #bbu #box boy universe #vanessa + juniper #disaster caretaker #imperfectly consistent #tw dehumanization #tw cages #tw blood mention #I am once again posting this to yeet it out of editing perdition #this chapter was supposed to be slightly longer #but this feels like a better place to stop #and I didn't feel like writing the other shit #so that'll be its own chapter or interlude later #assuming I ever update again lmao (this is legally a joke I very much do want to update again actually)

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