#GRIFF WAS SO DOWN BAD.

[vogelmeister]

this is gonna sound so trivial so hear me out but i do not like it when somebody knows im a taylor swift fan and then they boil me down to the point where thats my only personality trait and i can’t like anything else more than i like taylor swift.

[pessimisticpigeonsworld]

Dany antis' "metas" about how Dany is totally naive about Westeros really shows they just haven't read the books, or at least not her chapters. They'll rant about how she expects the people to just bow down to her, when in reality that was how Viserys (and later Young Griff) thought due to Illyrio's words. Meanwhile Dany, "mistrusted Illyrio's sweet words as she mistrusted everything about Illyrio." (AGOT Daenerys I) Dany knows that it takes more than a name or even dragons to be worthy to rule. That's a major piece of what sets her apart from other rulers in ASOIAF.

Robert took the throne because he was the foremost head of the rebellion and had some Targaryen blood. Joffrey and Tommen rule(d) because of their perceived relation to Robert. Stannis laid his claim based on being Robert's brother. Renly laid his not only because of blood, but also popularity with the lords and sheer number of troops. Robb was crowned because he was his father's son.

Dany knows she how fickle allegiance owed to a name is, she knows how the lords turned on her family and saw the hospitality in Essos fade when she and Viserys had nothing. She also knows simply scaring them into following her with dragons and armies won't work, she scared the shit out of the masters in Astapor and Yunkai, yet as soon as she turned her back they went back to slaving. In Meereen, she had her armies and her titles, yet the Sons of the Harpy constantly defied her.

Dany knows the Westerosi people won't just bow to her when she arrives (though stories of her are causing quite a stir lmao), she knows she will have to fight for her throne and make alliances. She understands that she will have to prove herself to the people and lords, after all, why else would they follow her? Her Khalasar only followed her after she proved herself strong, the Unsullied followed her when she proved just (after she freed them), Barristan Selmy swore himself to her only after observing her for a long period, and the rest of the Dothraki will follow her only after she proves herself once again.

Every time Dany has lead, it's because she proved herself to be worthy following, not because she's a Targaryen or the Mother of Dragons. Why would she suddenly forget this when she gets to Westeros? Well bad writing is the answer in the show, which is why in the books, she won't just become entitled.

There's different character who already has that characteristic: Young Griff. He expects the lords of Westeros to follow him against the Lannisters and Baratheons without question and for Dany to swear herself and her dragons to him and even marry him simply because he is (supposedly) the son of Rhaegar. Young Griff is a subversion of the lost prince trope, he is not only a fake but also exhibits qualities reminiscent of Joffrey (according to Tyrion), so not exactly a great candidate for king. Yet Dany antis insist on putting the sense of entitlement on Dany while portraying "Aegon" as a true heir and worthy king that evil Dany will kill in her lust for power.

Dany antis will formulate arguments against her purely out of thin air and shitty writing. They will ignore any and all actions she has done when ruling and when talking about it, rather choosing to force their fanon ideas on her and give her true qualities to their favs instead.

[apollos-boyfriend]

i haven’t seen anyone compile these yet so here’s all the first origins for new life smp!

scott: transporter

fwhip: road runner

gem: swarm (bee)

joey: dark fairy

katherine: human

lizzie: TBA

sausage: ghast

seapeekay: human

shubble: shunshine girl

joel: hippo(griff)

jimmy: bad guy

stacy: strider

strawburry: TBA

oli: TBA (possibly mimic?)

owen: human

scar: witch

pearl: copper golem

pix: archeologist

martyn: chillager

full origins descriptors under the cut!

scott: transporter [impact - •••]

a transporter is a sparse-atomed creature that is able to create rifts in space to relocate themselves and others.

wayfinder [+]

set waypoints that you can later teleport you and several others to.

hotswap [+]

you can mark someone you're looking at, and then swap places with them.

quickrift [+]

make a quick rift to teleport to a nearby location.

heavyload [-]

to be able to teleport, your particles must be in less density, therefore you can’t wear heavier armors.

atomic exhaustion [-]

using portals will exhaust you very quickly.

relocated confusion [-]

quickrift has a chance to apply nausea or slowness.

fwhip: road runner [impact - •••]

fastest origin out there. your heritage of road runners allow you to run reallly, really fast.

just faster [+]

you naturally sprint faster than other players.

gotta go fast [+]

hold your primary key to boost your speed and run really fast. as you hold your primary button your energy bar will slowly go down. you are also unable to jump while going.

still fast [+]

you are too fast to be slowed, soul sand doesn't slow you down, and the slowness effect doesn't work on you.

so tired . . . [-]

your constant running makes you exhaust more.

not made for that [-]

try to ignore water, you can't swim.

bad aim [-]

you can't use a bow or a crossbow.

gem: swarm [impact - •••]

these hive independent group of bees choose to stick together to overcome the obstacles of the outside world.

hover [+]

being made up of multiple bees, you are able to hover midair whenever you are falling.

smoke sensitivity [-]

your senses are lessened when near smoke.

pollination [+]

while you aren't sneaking, your bone meal is infused with pollen, allowing it to additionally affect the 4 adjacent blocks.

calming aura [+]

animals bred by you do not have to wait to be bred again.

expendable [-]

you have 3 less hearts of health than humans.

beekeeper [+]

taking honey and honeycomb from a hive does not anger bees.

joey: dark fairy [impact - •••]

a fairy that has turned to the dark side.

winged [+] *

you have elytra wings you can use to fly around with.

shadow embrace [+]

you can turn into an invisible entity that cannot interact with entities or blocks and cannot be interacted with.

pixie sized [+]

you are half a block tall.

moonlight [+]

you use moonlight to see at night better.

freezing point [-]

in biomes below 0.3 temperature, you have weakness and slowness.

heliophobia [-]

you hate the day, and this hatred causes you to take 15% more damage.

shadow bolt [+] **

a simple yet effective short distance beam that will hit anyone and take away 3 hearts of damage.

* bugged to only allow him to glide.

katherine: human [impact - •••]

a regular human. your ordinary minecraft experience awaits.

sausage: ghast [impact - •••]

you’re a flying denizen of the nether, capable of raining down hellfire.

pyroblast [+]

you can unleash terrifying fireballs.

spectral flight [+]

you are able to launch up into the air, and will slowly glide until you reach the ground.

fire immunity [+]

you are impervious to fire and lava.

hydrophobia [-]

you receive damage over time while in contact with water.

need for mobility [-]

you can not wear any heavy armor (armor with protection values higher than iron).

seapeekay: human [impact - •••]

a regular human. your ordinary minecraft experience awaits.

shubble has not shown her origin descriptor.

joel: hippogriff [impact - •••]

a noble creature, capable of taking to the skies.

winged [+]

you have elytra wings without needing to equip any.

gale wings [+]

you can propel yourself forwards a small amount.

rideable [+]

players can ride you by interacting with you.

claw grip [+]

you can pick up mobs.

fresh air [-]

you are enfeebled when not exposed to the sky.

embellished egotism [-]

you can only wear golden armor.

jimmy: bad guy [impact - •••]

you’re just generally a bad person, and your abilities reflect that.

bomb tosser [+]

throw a bomb into the air to quickly explode.

undying determination [+]

when your health is low, you can burst in a rage of fire, healing yourself whilst becoming stronger for a short time.

mischievous mist [+]

you can disappear in a mist for a short time.

fire immunity [+]

you are impervious to fire and lava.

carnivore [-]

your diet is restricted to meat, you can't eat vegetables.

stacy: strider [impact - •••]

travel the vast oceans of lava with the speed of a strider.

fire immunity [+]

you are immune to all tupes of fire damage.

nether inhabitant [-]

your natural spawn will be in the nether.

hydrophobia [-]

you receive damage over time while in contact with water.

lava walker [+][-]

you have the ability to walk on lava source blocks! you are also quicker while walking on lava, and slower on land.

rideable creature [+]

other players can ride you!

fungus hunger [+]

you can eat warped fungus to recover some hunger, along with a small speed boost.

owen: human [impact - •••]

a regular human. your ordinary minecraft experience awaits.

scar: witch [impact - •••]

cruel and cackling, witches are masters of brewing, and are great with magic.

better potions [+]

you consume potions better than most, potions will last longer when you drink them.

perfect potion [+]

get a random potion effect, based on the situation you are in.

pillager aligned [-]

villagers don't like you, and pillagers like you!

pearl: copper golem [impact - •••]

the copper golems are a curious automaton, designed to improve the lives of others. since they were initially prototyped, they have gained a greater knowledge of redstone components and ways to utilise them.

repairs available [-]

your body cannot be naturally or magically mended. you instead repair by consuming copper ingots.

oxidation [-]

your copper body makes you susceptible to the elements, oxidising you over time. oxidation can be removed with an axe.

galvanise [+]

honeycombs allow you to wax yourself, staving off the effects of oxidation for several minutes.

lightning rod [+]

while in thunderstorms, you're much more likely to get struck by lightning. you are immune to lighting, and de-oxidize when struck.

copper plating [+]

your chassis is made out of copper. as a result, you passively have resistance.

local area networking* [+]

you have modified an antenna to fit to your head permanently to recieve radio signals.

micro machine [-]

you are only one block tall, and your maximum health is reduced.

automaton [+][-]

your body doesn't experience hunger, and you don't benefit from natural regeneration.

button masher [+]

your programming gives you an overwhelming urge to press buttons. every time you press a button, redstone dust will drop.

tinkerer [+]

you can quickly convert a redstone component into its similar counterpart.

transmute [+]

you are able to transmute copper into other metals, allowing you to craft more metal items.

toolsmith [+]

you can also use this skill to create various metal tools.

circuit corrosion [-]

being submerged in water will damage your internal circuitry. your plating will protect you from rain, however.

heavy metal [+][-]

you don't need to breathe underwater, but your dense body holds you down.

* active ability. when standing within 5 blocks of unwaxed copper, emerald, or diamond ore and blocks, you will beep. you oxidise faster while this is active.

pix: archeologist [impact - •••]

you are obsessed with fossils and relics, artifacts and more. talents gathered among your years of practice will surely help you along your journey.

archeology [+]

from trash to treasure, you can find anything in the dust times of long past.

fortunate [+]

you naturally have two levels of fortune.

favorable fashion [+]

wearing a full set of leather armor results in a set bonus.

sacred respect [-]

you find yourself troubled by the idea of destroying structures of ancient times.

entomophobia [-]

days of looking underground is sure to put the fear of bugs in anyone.

martyn: chillager [impact - •••]

errrrr! you freeze yourself and your opponents alike, however being cold finds itself much more beneficial to you than your enemies.

cryofreeze [+]

you can temporarily freeze yourself, negating all damage and regenerating health for a short time.

frozen falling [+]

when hitting a target, they'll have trouble moving for a small moment.

frozen touch [+]

when hitting a target, they'll have trouble moving for a small moment.

fine motor skills [-]

being cold results in a loss of fine motor skills; good luck trying to attack a target in rapid succession.

[bitchinbarzal]

Open the door | M McTavish

part of Hey, Jude AU!

summary: Mason doesn’t like your boyfriend much but now he has a reason.

-

“How’s it going with your sisters weird boyfriend, Z?” Jamie asks from across the living room where the boys were playing video games all evening.

Trevor grunted “Meh, he’s- there’s something off about him I mean she keeps canceling our dinners and then griffin was supposed to stay with them and apparently the guy told Griff he just couldn’t stay there anymore so I had to pay for his hotel”

Mason rolled his eyes, not unnoticed by Trevor.

“What’s up McTavish?”

He shifts uncomfortably “I mean he’s an asshole Trev, I don’t see what she sees in him!”

Jamie laughs “Just say you’ve got a crush on her and get it over with”

Mason glares at him “I’m just saying the dudes weird, nothing else”

Jamie mumbles “Sure” in a sarcastic tone and turns back to his remote.

After the teasing had died down they got back to playing games, avoiding the conversation of you and your boyfriend further.

The hate for your boyfriend didn’t come from a bad place it came from the boys watching first hand how he treated you. Constantly telling you what to do, telling you how to dress and whenever Trevor would try help your boyfriend would isolate you from your brother.

At one point in the night Trevor and Jamie had gone to get more beer from the garage fridge when Trevor’s phone began buzzing.

Mason peered over to see your picture on the screen, he leans over the couch and picks it up.

He goes to say a silly line when he hears your heavy breaths on the other side.

“Trevor?” Your voice is strained but quiet at once “Trev please-“

“It’s Mason”

“Oh! Sorry I-“

Mason sits up a little straighter and says “What did he do, y/n?”

You’re shaking your head “he didn’t do, what are you talking about? I’m fine!”

“I’ll be there in five minutes flat, just tell me what’s going on” he encourages.

You sniffled and throw your head back against the tile wall of your bathroom “He hit me, Mase”

You expect some shouting, some sort of outrage but the line goes dead instead. You begin sobbing.

You felt so alone, wondering who to turn to.

In reality you just wanted anyone to hold you right now and tell you it would be ok.

Minutes later you hear the front door bang open and you flinch before you hear heavy footsteps pounding towards your location in the house.

You curl closer into yourself when the door opens. It only takes moments until your body is pulled into Mason’s arms and in that moment you burst into tears of relief.

His hand holds the back of your head and cradles you “It’s ok Angel girl I’ve got you now, you’re safe with me”

You clutch to his hoodie, silently begging him not to go anywhere.

He sits there for hours swaying you back and forth until you finally fall asleep, puffy face and pout.

His fingers trail along your jaw “sweet girl, I’ll always protect you I promise”

He eventually calls Trevor, telling him everything that happened so he could come pack your bags. When he finds his teammate holding you while you slept he gives Mason a knowing look

“Listen, she’s complicated but just don’t let her down ever. She’s worth the world”

Mason nods in agreement “She’s in safe hands here”

[lostuntothisworld]

Spaghetti theory time:

The "Luka lying to Ladybug about her secret identity after he was so fired up in Truth only to lie to her in Wishmaker" salt has died down for the most part, but I would like to bring it back up.

I'm gonna do you all a favor and copypasta the transcript below, because I know nobody is going to rewatch the episode.

Marinette: I'm sorry about earlier. There were mosquitoes on the boat, I thought we needed some insect repellent but the drug store was closed so I had to- Luka: Shh, listen, the song of the water. If you listen carefully at this very spot under the bridge, you'll hear a melody. (They listen to the river and smile at each other.) You know, I never knew my father and my mom would never bring herself to tell me. So when I just couldn't deal with it all, I would take refuge here and the melody of the water would console me. What about you, Marinette? Where do you go when you disappear? Marinette: Uh- Luka: You tell me, I'll accept it. If you're still in love with Adrien, I'll understand. I won't be jealous you know. Marinette: That's not it, not at all. Luka: Whatever it is, I just want it to be the honest truth. Marinette: The truth, Luka… is the only thing I can't tell you.

Then we get shocked Luka. He get's akumatized/amokized, and the scene continues:

Shadow Moth: Truth, I am Shadow Moth. I'm giving you the power to force people to tell you their most sacred secrets. Luka: (struggling against it) Truth needs to be shared, not taken by force, Shadow Moth! Marinette: (shocked what he just said) Uh! Shadow Moth? No! Luka, please resist, I am so sorry! Shadow Moth: Why should you resist when she doesn't trust you? Luka: Marinette does trust me! Marinette: I do! Of course I do! Shadow Moth: If she trusted you, then she would tell you the truth! (Upon hearing this, Luka becomes shocked, so he kneels.) Accept my power and you will know everything. And all I ask of you in return is to expose Ladybug and Cat Noir's little secrets. Luka: (succumbing) Run, Marinette! 

...

Luka does NOT want to force the truth out of Marinette. He tells her to run! And it's very much implied it triggered a traumatic past when his mother wouldn't tell him who his father was. What if his mom used the exact phrasing of "The truth is the one thing I can't tell you," when things got bad? If there's one thing Miraculous is good at is shocking the audience with traumatic backstories. I have my own theories as to what Luka and Juleka's traumatic backstories are... And are we really going to victim blame Luka for not being able to resist, especially when resisting Gabemoth and breaking akumatization was not actually known to be something that can be done at this point? Onto Wishmaker:

Lots of people are upset that Luka lied to Marinette at the end of Wishmaker with regards to hers and Chat's secret identities. They want Marinette to be angry with him, and for Luka to face consequences. Lying is supposed to be bad, isn't it? And Luka got akumatized into a villain who was dead set on finding the Truth, and he just lied to her about it. Inexcusable! Which is a valid interpretation if you take it at face value.

Now let's fast forward to Migration, and a little theory I've had since the episode aired: Secret identities and masks are a metaphor for being queer. Let me explain the metaphor in more detail: by rewinding back to Wishmaker and the metaphor presented to us then.

In Wishmaker, child Alec was bullied for his big hair, which he was very proud of. So he shaved it all off to fit in with what society wanted him to be. His akumatized form had a bald cap, and in the end Alec decides to "live his truth," (Astruc's words not mine), and essentially wear a big wig and become a drag queen. Iconic.

Oh yeah, and his nightmare in the season 5 finale was his father shaving off his hair.

Gonna have to link this shitpost here, just for an interesting comparison.

(It's interesting to note that both Griffe Noire and alternate Adrien have partially shaved heads, and should be included closer to the bald end of the chart in the shitpost)

Anyway, it's a bit of an unwritten rule that you don't out another person, even if you know they are queer. You have to wait for them to come to you with this reveal. It's sensitive information, and could potentially be extremely dangerous for the person being outed. A similar parallel to being a superhero with a secret identity.

Using this logic, it's not surprising the animators made Chat surprised when Luka detransformed in front of him in Ephemeral even tho he had a front row seat to Luka in Miracle Queen.

Onto the next scene of interest:

Marinette: If I tell you, things will never be the same between us again. (shakes her head) It'll mess up everything, maybe even destroy it. Alya:(voice breaking) Marinette, I'm your very best friend. Marinette: And I… I'm Ladybug.

I was actually shocked with this scene back the first time I watched it. Yes, the reveal, but also how everything in it is presented. To the dialogue, to Marinette's reasonings and how it'll mess up everything between the girls, and how everything will change and be destroyed, to Alya's oddly somber reaction to finding out her favorite superhero is her best friend, and then the subsequent hug.

It's framed as a coming out scene.

So let's circle back to Luka lying to Ladybug back in Wishmaker, and keeping that secret until Migration. His choices there make a whole lot more sense with a queer lens.

Don't believe me? Remember, Migration (the episode where Luka's lies and secrets are brought to light), is the episode that Luka shoves Adrien in a closet and he falls out of the closet as Chat Noir.

Those bedroom eyes at Luka sure do make a whole lot more sense here.

[queenvhagar]

If HBO adapted Robert's Rebellion:

Rhaegar doesn't care about prophecy at all! He's just an old soul who wants love!

Poor Aerys wasn't mad. He was manipulated by Varys who wanted to bring down the Targs!

Rickard and Brandon will be abusive. Their deaths will be their just desserts for not letting Lyanna live her #girlboss life.

Speaking of Lyanna, she'll be a grown woman.

Catelyn will seduce Ned after Brandon's death, cause you can't trust those no-good, very-bad Fot7 followers!

Elia will be a smiling doormat rooting for Rhaegar's happiness to her own detriment, or an evil bitch cheating on him with half of KL.

Rhaenys will be Arthur's. Aegon won't exist because only a super special #girlboss could give Rhaegar a son.

Robert will try to assault Lyanna, not so there can be an actual discussion on women's oppression, but so she can have a #girlboss moment of fighting him off...because that's very realistic.

1. The way I see it: why not both? Rhaegar as just a hopeless romantic old soul who wants a quiet life with his true love but ALSO a reluctant hero and the only one who can save the entire world, the weight of the world on his shoulders, poor lil Rhae (and let's remind the audience that his ancestor Rhae senior was in the same boat and also did nothing wrong, it's the world that was evil and doomed our hero 😢) (actually he'll have a prophecy dream where he sees his beloved great great etc grandma and Daemon will actually speak to him through astral projection time travel to instill the importance of the prophecy on him)

2. Poor Aerys was driven mad by Varys and the evil maesters because famously conspiracies about a small group of evil greedy people secretly controlling the world definitely never had any negative repercussions in the real world or in real world history! 🤪

3. Rickard and Brandon supported the patriarchy, they were complicit in the abuse/societal disadvantage of all the women in their family including Lyanna, plus they're accusing the precious Targs of terrible lies with the goal of taking them down, so they deserve their deaths.

4. Lyanna is definitely aged up and there's extra extra emphasis on her prowess with weapons and physical strength, meanwhile she and everyone else puts down women who don't try to be like her because that means they promote the patriarchy!!

5. Either 1) Cat is an evil seductress 2) Cat accepts marriage to a stranger and is narratively ridiculed for accepting and supporting patriarchy by doing so 3) Cat attempts to girlboss her way out of it and is forced to marry anyway

6. Either scenario fits, she will be a non-character, more of a plot device, and most certainly be used to contrast Lyanna as a true feminist in opposition to someone accepting of her baby making/wife role in society

7. So true about the girlboss son thing PLUS Young Griff never existed in the show dontcha know so it doesn't matter. Plus it makes it better that Jon was allegedly named Aegon despite Rhaegar already having an Aegon

8. Robert will be an ultimate manwhore violent man who does war to feel big and to possess women, no nuance in why he would rebel against the rightful Targaryens

[garbinge]

UNEXPECTED VISITOR (5/?)

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x F!Reader // Word Count: 4.5k Summary: When your little brother unexpectedly comes to visit you try and figure out what he's really doing here while introducing him to your new 'friend', Rooster. Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Angsty-ish. Light fluff. Sibling relationship (teasing, mocking, arguing etc). Mentions of reader's parental loss/grief. A/N: This was SO fun to write, like beyond fun. HUUUUGE shoutout to @drabbles-mc for chatting through this fic with me and just helping me work through some writing blocks I've had for it. I know I've introduced a new sibling character here (that I've mentioned in past fics) but I promise to bring Mickey in next chapter! I also plan to make it more Bradley focused in the next one as well. I seriously have had such a great time writing this little world, and appreciate everyone's love on it. Means the world!

As you went to place your key into the door to the house, it opened without you needing to even turn the key. With a frown, you looked back at Bradley who matched your look with similar confusion. 

“I locked it before I left.” You confirmed the thought that you knew was brewing in both your heads. As the door opened you heard slight commotion from somewhere in the house, nothing alarming in the grand scheme of things, it sounded like normal living noises. But that was the thing, no one besides you and Mickey would be doing that and you knew from Rooster that your eldest brother was on base doing pushups from losing their training mission today. Bradley’s arm instinctively went around you, pushing you back behind him as the noise that you could now pinpoint to the kitchen continued. 

Before either of you could investigate further, there was the sound of thumps on the ground and then a bark. It was flustering enough that it got Bradley to take a step back. Your hands caught his back, giving it a comforting squeeze as you stepped in front of him. “It’s okay.” 

You moved in front of him and dropped down to the ground in a squat as you greeted the black, long haired dog that seemed to be extremely familiar with you. 

“Griff?” You called out in hopes that your little brother would emerge from the kitchen. The echo of his name was enough to give Bradley a little relief but he was still trying to figure out what was going on, as were you. You weren’t sure it’d be him, he hadn’t been home in years. All your conversations were through facetime and over text, going to visit him once every handful of years, but when you saw Sarge, it was obvious it couldn’t be anyone but him. 

“Oh shit.” It was mumbled, spoken through a mouthful of food. As he appeared in the opening from the entry room and kitchen, sandwich in hand, it was all you needed for the door to a million thoughts to open and start running through your head, all of them pretty bad. 

“I thought I heard the door, but I got the game on the TV so I wasn’t sure.” He was pointing over his shoulder and you could hear the baseball game faintly in the background and already knew the kitchen was a disaster. “Sarge, come.” His voice got a little more serious as he called the shepherd closer to him. 

“Who died?” You were now standing up, you knew Bradley was probably racking his brain around the last few minutes and what was currently happening but you needed to deal with what was in front of you first. 

Your youngest brother hadn’t been home in years, for good reason too. If he was here now, there had to be something wrong. Every scenario started running through your head. Your eyes searched him for injury, for any sign of distress, but you were coming up short. 

“That’s how you’re gonna greet me?” He opened his arms in distaste for your comment. A smile grew on his face because even in his contempt, he was still your smug little brother. “C’mere,” he moved closer to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly, taking a bite of his sandwich as he did it, because that was just the Griffin thing to do. As his eyes moved away from the sandwich, they fell on Rooster who was standing there with the most neutral look on his face. It was a product of being in the service, taking in all the information and dissecting it without showing any of it on his face. Griffin smirked and winked at him as he pulled away from your embrace. 

“Can you tell me what the hell you’re doing here?” 

“Once you tell me who your wingman is.”  Griffin was pointing with his head towards Bradley who was standing with one hand in his pocket, giving a brief wave at your little brother before his eyes jumped to yours. 

Without saying anything, you could tell he was giving you the control in this situation. He didn’t need to be introduced right now, he picked up on your urgency to figure out why your little brother was here and he’d be content waiting in the background for as long as you needed. 

With a deep sigh you dropped your head, regardless of how Bradley felt, you knew you wouldn’t get anything besides teasing remarks until you introduced them both. “Sorry, um,” Your apology was directed towards Rooster but you knew your brother took it as his own. “This is my friend Bradley, Bradley this is my little brother, Griffin.” 

“Benny.” He corrected you instantly which earned him the craziest look from you. “Name’s Benny, but you can call me Griff.” He was extending his free hand out to shake Rooster’s. 

“No one’s called you Benny in years.” While you had more pressing matters to discuss, you weren’t going to let that go. It was true, that might’ve been the name on his birth certificate but it was one that rarely had been spoken out loud besides at visits to the doctor’s office or the DMV. 

As he shook Bradley’s hand he spoke directly to him. “Your friend here,” his head nodding in your direction now, “gave me the nickname Griffin when I was a kid and it just never fell off.” 

“He liked reading mythology as a kid, was always talking about Griffins, he could tell you every detail about them.” Your eyes were on Rooster as you explained and then your eyes squinted and turned to your brother. “And I didn’t give you the nickname, you told me you wanted to be called Griffin and I just told everyone to go along with it.”

“You punched Gerard Parker in the gut when he refused.” That earned a laugh from Bradley who was now standing there with his arms across his chest as he followed the back and forth between you two. 

“I punched Gerard Parker because he was being a dick to you.” 

“That’s my big sis, always looking out for me.” His arm draped over you as he looked at Bradley with a large grin on his face. 

Shaking out of his arm, you looked to him for answers. “Wanna tell me what you’re doing here, now?” 

“I really thought you were going to be the one to give me the warm welcome. Although, I haven’t seen Mickey yet, so this could be pretty cozy in comparison.” 

He was being his normal self, nothing seemed urgent but the thing with Griffin was he acted like this even in the most pressing moments. 

“Griffin.” You said it so firmly, like a parent would to a child. 

“Relax. I’m visiting.” He was finally starting to open up. “Hired enough hands at the business that I was able to take a couple weeks off. Figured I’d come home for a bit.” 

You weren’t buying it and he could tell you weren’t buying it, so he did what he did best. Changed the topic. 

“You a Padres fan, Bradley? They’re up by 1, s’close game.” He was moving to the kitchen, leaving no other option but for you both to follow him.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered to Bradley who was beginning to walk by you now, his arm reaching out to lightly touch your back, he stopped to look down at you. 

“Why are you apologizing?” A smile was growing on his face while your eyes were closing and you sucked your lips into your mouth. 

“Trust me, it’s a blanket apology for anything that’s about to happen. Griffin can be–a lot. Plus, he’s lying. He didn’t have vacation time, that’s not why he’s here. There’s something else going on and he’s not gonna say it.” 

“You wanna leave? You can crash with me at my place?” 

The offer made you smile, your arms moving to his and squeezing them. “No, I wanna know what’s really going on. But I’d love nothing more than to crash at your place, though.” 

“That’s a deal.” He nodded as the smile curved on his face. “C’mon.” He was now guiding you into the kitchen with his hand on your lower back for a short few seconds.  

“So tell me about yourself Bradley.” Griffin was opening the fridge and grabbing beers for you and Rooster. 

“He’s training with Mickey.” You grabbed the beer from his hand as he placed the other one in front of Bradley on the kitchen island. 

Griffin’s eyes fell to you, and while he wasn’t saying anything his eyes were saying would you let the man talk.

With the raise of your hands in innocence, you stepped back and let Rooster answer. 

“Yea, I, uh, am on the same training mission with Mickey, it’s actually how I met your sister, she was at The Hard Deck waiting for him and we just got to talking.” It took everything in you to hold your smile to yourself. Rooster could tell because he looked down at the ground to mute his own smirk before looking back up to Griffin and continued talking. “Grew up in the area before jumping around a bit.” 

“You’re a pilot.” Griffin nodded, taking a sip of his beer. “Must be pretty special if you got this one over here to give you the time of day.” 

“Griffin!” Your head turned to him instinctively and your eyes widened. While it might’ve been common knowledge between your brothers that your dating life had been put on ice lately, you hadn’t gotten around to sharing that detail with Bradley yet.

“I consider myself pretty lucky.” Bradley interjected, staring at you as he said it which made every ounce of embarrassment melt from your being. Although, it was short lived because Griffin continued to talk. 

“What’s your call sign?” He was treating this like a casual conversation with friends, and while that might’ve been what it was for him, for you there was a lot bouncing through your head.

“Rooster.” 

That earned a smile from your brother and he raised his beer in a cheer to him. “Birds of a feather.” 

The nickname might’ve been something that was created from a young Garcia boy who loved mythology, but it was something that just stuck throughout the years, he wasn’t lying about that. No one in the Garcia family called him anything but Griffin, it helped that alongside his love for the mythological creature he had a big imagination–an adventurous soul. You knew it was something that brought him comfort, reminded him of happier times. For you, it was exactly that. Despite your push earlier to say the nickname was a product of his own mind, there was some truth behind you giving it to him. It was one of the first times you felt accepted by your two siblings. When he had shared his desire for the name, you did push to make sure everyone accepted it and due to that, any hesitancy with both brothers in that first year of you being new to the house was gone. They welcomed you because they saw how welcoming of them you were. The name meant a lot to everyone. 

“We got wings, baby.” Rooster matched it back by bringing his beer to Griffin’s to clink it together before taking a sip. 

“Yours are more literal than mine. But I’ll take it.” A shrug left Griffin’s shoulders. 

“Wings are earned, seems like Gerard Parker tried to take yours and that didn’t happen, they seem earned to me.” Rooster was being so incredibly kind and it wasn’t lost on Griffin. 

The shock was evident on Griffin’s face at those words, he was taken back not expecting that kind of response. You noticed the pride in his eyes as well, a flicker of–something that you couldn’t put your finger on. “You know what? You’re alright, Rooster.” The nod of his head let you realize what it was that you saw in your little brother. It was relief. 

From that moment, the conversation had a lighter tone to it, the 3 of you laughing and chatting about anything and everything in between cheers for the game. But even with that, you couldn’t shake the nagging feeling in the back of your head. The worry that Griffin’s unexpected visit was more than just a friendly swing by. Rooster squeezed your arm as he came up behind you, saying nothing just giving you a knowing look. Your face softened and gave a light nod to let him know you were okay. 

“Alright, enough about me,” Rooster spoke up, placing his empty beer down in front of you. “Think I promised you a round of darts at The Hard Deck, tonight.” 

With your eyebrow raising, you rolled your eyes before looking away from him. “Think you promised yourself that rematch when I won last time.” 

“You two go have fun,” Griffin was waving you off, beer in hand and a reassuring nod.  “Really, I’m good. Go.” 

Shooting Griffin a concerned look was all Rooster needed to catch on and interrupt. “C’mon man, first round’s on me, I’ll even let you ask me more questions.” 

That earned a laugh from Griffin who gave in, “Alright,” moving to grab his wallet and tuck it into his pocket, he whistled and the dog that had fallen asleep in the living room was at his side within seconds. “Sarge, place.” As he grabbed a treat from his backpack which was snug on the kitchen counter, he dropped it on the bed and looked to both of you ready to head out. 

As you both exited the house, Griffin stayed back locking the door leaving you a couple steps ahead with Rooster. Bradley dropped his hand to your lower back, guiding you down the pathway to the driveway. “Your brother’s alright, I like him.” There was a soft smile playing on his lips. 

You returned it with one of your own, “Yea, he’s got his moments.” 

There was more that needed to be said between you two, but Griffin was lightly jogging to catch up to both of you. “How you like the Bronco, man?” 

That got Rooster’s attention, his playful smile turning into a full on grin. “I love her, she’s great.” 

_____

The Hard Deck had a familiar buzz to it, the kind that greeted you like an old friend when you walked in. The mix of salt water along with the smell of beer and peanuts was something you found reminding you of your brothers and of more simpler times with them in your adult years. It was nice to be sharing a night with one of them. 

“Ready to lose?” Griffin was boasting as he grabbed the darts from the board flashing them in his hand to you and Rooster.

“Big talk for someone who hasn’t played in years.” It was spoken as you rolled your eyes and Rooster had gone to collect the first round, as promised. 

“I’ve still got it. Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you.” 

Rooster was back, chuckling at your back and forth, handing out the beer bottles and then grabbing the darts from Griffin’s hand so effortlessly. “Think you’re underestimating your sister, she’s got killer aim.” 

The confidence Rooster had in you made something in your insides giddy, but you hid it behind the beer bottle as you took down the first few sips. 

“Alright then,” Griffin was also loving the back and forth. “What’s say we make this a little more interesting then since we’re all so talented.” That shit eating grin, the one you used to shove him to the ground for as kids, was plastered on his face. “Loser buys next round.” 

“Deal,” Rooster said without hesitation, the competitiveness in him eager to shine as he stepped up and landed just shy of the bullseye mark. 

“Not bad, Bradshaw.” Griffin stepped up and landed a shot similar to him but still not as close as Roosters. 

You felt both of their eyes on you. Griffin was high-spirited, he was loving every second of this. Rooster’s gaze was full of affection as he silently rooted you on. With a deep breath, you closed your eyes, only opening them at the last second as you let go of the dart and it landed perfectly in the bullseye mark. 

In an instant both of them broke out in cheers, standing up from their partial leaning on the bar stools, pumping their fists in celebration. 

As the game went on, you all fell into a rhythm of friendly competition and teasing. Each round ending in fits of laughter whether it was to make fun of the shot made or the story being told. Griffin was keeping it lively, he had started telling story after story from your childhood, most of them embarrassing you but keeping Rooster fully enthralled. 

You stepped up to the board and pulled the darts out before making your way to the line, your focus back on the board as you prepared to throw. Suddenly, you felt a hand creep up on your waist, squeezing it ever so slightly as the heat from his breath tickled down your neck. “Don’t miss,” It was whispered so delicately in your ear, sending goosebumps down your side and a smile growing on your face along with the warm feeling of embarrassment. He smirked clearly aware of your flustered state and moved to place a kiss to your cheek before tapping where he had placed his hand on your waist as he stepped back to let you take your turn. 

You missed. Probably the worst shot you had taken all night and neither of them let you live it down. “If I knew we were cheating, I would have played completely differently.” It was your turn to gather the empties and grab the next round. 

As Penny grabbed your empties and went to go pop the caps off new ones, you felt that similar hand on your waist and kiss to your cheek, this time less competitive and more affectionate. “Figured I’d come cover the beers, since I cheated.” 

“A gentleman.” You teased him, leaning back into his grip as you both waited for Penny to come back. 

“You having fun?” He brought his arm up from your waist and around your shoulders, his forearm moving across your chest allowing your hands to hang from it as you waited. His fingers started to play with your shoulder and his body mindlessly rocked back and forth with you. 

“I am,” You thought about it as you nodded, “I don’t think I’ve been able to have fun with him like this in a while.” 

“He seems like he’s enjoying it, too.” It was whispered to you, he didn’t want to throw your business out there loudly for the crowded bar to hear, not that anyone was paying attention anyways but it was a detail that Rooster wouldn’t overlook. “If you want to talk about it..” He let his words trail off. 

You just squeezed his arm that your hands were dangling off of in acknowledgement, “I know.” 

That was all the confirmation he needed to drop it and it helped that Penny was coming over with new bottles. “You can put those on my tab, Penny. My punishment for using my dashing good looks and charming attitude to throw the dart game in my favor.” 

—----

At one point, Rooster went to get the next round, leaving you and Griffin to have a round of darts between the two of you. This one felt more high stakes, simply because you had only a few shots at getting the truth out of Griffin. Rooster leaned against the bar, watching you and Griffin tease each other, bantering back and forth and smiled at your laugh as you argued with your little brother, him mocking you and then bringing his arm up to tousle your head before you lightly pushed him off.

“Wasn’t expecting you to have a boyfriend.” It earned him a shoulder nudge as he was trying to line up his shot. 

“Wasn’t expecting you to be here.” 

His head dropped to the side in a way to say ‘touche’ before he threw the dart. “Ask me what you wanna ask me.” It was spoken with a bit of attitude following his miss. 

You could’ve argued, could’ve given him the attitude right back at him but you didn’t want to fight with him. And while it took everything in you not to shell it right back at him, you dropped your shoulders and softened your voice. “Are you okay?” 

His own stance softened as well and he nodded over to the standing table for you both to talk. His arms resting on it as he moved the last of the beer in his current bottle around. “I’m fine, I know the idea of me being back here is probably a lot for you, I get it, but you gotta trust me, I’m not who I was when Dad died.” 

That sentence got caught in your gut, you felt it twist around for a couple seconds as you settled it down with a deep breath. The time after your father’s death was a whirlwind, for obvious reasons, but also different ones that came as a result of it. 

He paused, looking down at the beer bottle and then back up at you. “I’m not going to fall back into old habits. I know that shit was a lot for you, but it was a lot for me too, I’ve been working on myself, and I know you know that. And I know that me being back here probably brings up a lot of shit for you and you’re worried it’s bringing up a lot for me but I’m good–I’m staying out of trouble.” 

Trying to gauge your reaction he continued to talk. “I don’t expect you to trust me, I know that takes time and proof, but I want you to hear that I’m serious.” 

You leaned over and grabbed his hand, the one fidgeting with the wrapper on the beer bottle out of a nervous habit. “I believe you and I trust you.” It was true, you had seen how much effort he put in back where he lived, your worry simply came from him being back in a place that offered more of an enabling environment. “It’s a lot for me, but I know it’s a lot for you, what you’re picking up from me is simply love and worry.” 

“I love and worry about you too.” He moved his hand to squeeze yours back. “Which speaking of, I like this guy of yours.” Now his hand was pointing back behind him where he assumed Bradley was.

Your eyes jumped to Rooster who was having a conversation with Penny, chuckling at something she said over her shoulder as she poured someone’s draft beer. “Yea, I like him, too.” 

His previous tense expression melted away as he followed your gaze and glanced toward Rooster at the bar.  “He’s got that look, you know? The ‘he’d do anything for you’ look. And I know it well because it’s the look Mickey and I get a lot.” 

That made you chuckle. “It’s new but it feels…familiar? And easy.” 

“Haven’t seen you like this in a while either.” He was shifting in his seat, his hands moving back to play with the label on the bottle. 

“Like what?” You questioned him with a frown. 

“Happy.” 

You blew air out of your nose at that and gave a half smile. “I am, kid.” 

“So he’s Mickey’s friend, huh?” He took that last sip of his beer as he waited for the answer, only earning a look from you before he similarly blew air out of his nose, “I’m just teasing you.” 

“Fresh round, got you something on draft because Penny ran out of the bottle stuff you liked.” Rooster looked at you as he placed everything on the table. His arm moved around your waist as he settled in at the table. 

“Well I’d say tonight was a success,” Griffin was tucking the neck of the new bottle in between his fingers before bringing it up to take a sip. “Next time we’ll have to give Mickey a ring and have him join us.” 

The small smile at play on his mouth as he said it went over Bradley’s head but was earning an eye roll from you. Overall, it was an unexpected but great time. There was still this lingering anxiety in the back of your head but you’d choose to just enjoy the company and comfort of those around you, patting Rooster’s chest as you turned around back towards the dartboard. 

“C’mon, best two out of three.”

CHAPTER INDEX <- where you can find previous chapters to this fic! Dividers by @cafekitsune ੈ✩‧₊˚ 🛫Top Gun Maverick Taglist:  @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @kmc1989 @writing-until-i-drop @jtheteenagewitch @meera10 @winchester-whiskey (let me know if you’d like to be added! I'm using my all writing taglist right now!)

[konigsblog]

12 + 7 for König, please!!!

⭒ spanking and being praised by könig

prompt list, minors do not interact. 18+

༉‧₊˚. KÖNIG absolutely loves spanking you, slapping your ass with his rough and calloused hands, making you wriggle your hips under his grip. you can feel the pain spreading, the bounces with each slap making his dick harden inside his pants. although könig enjoys spanking and inflicting pain onto you sometimes - especially when you've been naughty - he doesn't like to degrade you, instead mixing his hurtful slaps with his adoring words. it confuses you and making you squirm. his praise going straight to your core. “das ist es, kleine maus. du süßes baby, nicht wahr? ich zittere und zittere unter meinem griff..”

he sits backwards, seeing your little expressions, biting your lips to suppress whines and mewls, eyes watery and glistening. könig almost feels bad for you, chuckling and cooing at you. he rubs your ass in circles, smacking harshly and making you cry out in pain. “kö-könig-!” you yowl, unable to move your lower body under his iron grasp. “so wet, can feel your panties, all soaked..” his fingers rub over your clothed cunny, sticky cum coating his fingers in slick. each hit stings your ass, tears falling down your cheeks as he continues to slap and smack you, enjoying the way you wince and flinch at the painful impact. :(((

– banner credit; @saradika

translation; that's it, little mouse. you sweet baby, aren't you? I tremble and tremble under my grip..

– @konigsblog

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

It's pretty messed up how Griffe Noire and Toxinelle' were slowly dying from the result of misusing their miraculous and yet... we didn't seen any of the mark on Gabriel, it's as if the show said the duo has done more terrible thing than Gabriel and/or probably longer and the only reason Gabriel slowly dying is solely because of the cataclysm, not the consequences of misusing of the miraculous. Or! As some people said, intention matter and Gabriel's intention to revive Emily is considered not selfish that's why it's not considered "misusing".

I think it's just because they're teenagers and apparently teenagers doing wrong things is more worthy of punishment than adults doing wrong things, which does fit with the show's overall messaging, but is not a choice I'd ever make. I'm not against irredeemable teen characters, but they work best in shows without a major adult presence and/or shows where there's a really clear logic behind why the given character cannot be redeemed. In real life, you can't save everyone and that's honestly an important message to give kids, but it needs to be extremely well written and works best when done in contrast.

As I've mentioned before, I thought Chloè should have been used to teach Adrien a lesson about second chances and when to give them so that he's more mentally ready to face his father. In my ideal version, Chloè gets "redeemed" while Gabriel does not, but you could do the opposite, too. You'd just have to actually let Adrien try to help Chloè and fail or even just realize that his blind faith without accompanying action was never going to result in a nicer Chloè. (Note that I think this would only work if you tread carefully and present Chloè as a tragic figure OR if you remove her parental issues and make her way less nuanced)

Circling back to the Paris special: the slow poisoning thing they did with Griffe and Toxinelle was a bad move as it raises a lot of questions (like why didn't that happen to Felix or Chloe?) If the writers wanted them to have infinite uses, then they should have just been "adult" since that's apparently a thing you can be at their age...

Then again, I'm not a fan of the one use to infinite uses thing the show does. I think it should have been a gradual increase in the number of uses they have with adults just having a higher cap. Infinite uses really cuts down the stakes. I have no idea how they're going to make that work in the next season.

[lovinbarzal]

PERFECT PT. 2 | J. HUGHES

jack hughes x fem! zegras sister! reader

summary: trevor finds out.

warnings: heated making out, angry twin brother z

a/n enjoy <3 ( the gif represents jack at the end lol )

masterlist part one

——————————————————————————

1 year later

"I need you gone again." Trevor blurted. The two were sitting in the living room watching a movie.

"Lemme guess, Jack's coming?" Y/n turned to her brother with a knowing look.

"Yeah and this time Griffin isn't here to say that I can't kick you out." Trevor held a proud smile. Y/n pulled her phone out and tapped on it for a moment before bringing it to her ear.

"He's trying to kick me out again." She said with a smirk before putting the phone on speaker.

"Trev, you can't kick her out." Griffin said as Trevor's face fell.

"Fine." He grumbled before crossing his arms and sinking into his side of the couch.

"Love you, Griff." Y/n hung up and putting her phone away.

"But he is still off limits." Trevor said.

Y/n was actually talking excited to see Jack. They had been secretly texting and calling. Trevor knew she had known that she was talking to someone but what he didn't know was that it was his best friend.

"Y/n was supposed to be going with Griffin to Cancun for break but she ended up stay so I'm sorry for my weird-ass sister." Trevor said from the drivers seat.

"Dude, she isn't even that bad." Jack defended sounding a bit standoffish. Trevor sent him a look, "I mean, like she's your sister."

"Yeah and she's a bitch. She's been bitchyer since she started talking to some guy. She won't even tell me or Griff who he is." Trevor ranted about his sister's mysterious guy.

He looked out the window in attempt to hide his smile. He knew who the mystery guy was. It was him.

Y/n laughed loudly as Jack said something stupid.

"I'm telling you! She was not real!" The two were dying of laughter.

"Helen Keller was real, J. She literally has a book." Y/n explained. The two were on the couch cuddling. Trevor had went out to pick up their dinner so the two were alone.

"Exactly! How the hell did she write a book if she couldn't see of right!" He defended.

"You're an idiot." Y/n said with a laugh.

"But I'm your idiot." He said leaning down for a kiss. Things quickly got heated.

The two were so in the moment that they didn't hear the door unlock.

Trevor dropped the pizza that he had been holding and screamed. Y/n and Jacked jumped away from each other.

"No! No! No! No!" Trevor said from the doorway as his face turned red.

"I told you that my little sister was off limits!" Trevor yelled at Jack before turning to Y/n, "And we made a pact that friends were off limits!"

Trevor was furious. He basically had steam fuming from his ears.

"Trev." Y/n reached out but Trevor pulled away and turned back to Jack. He shoved Jack against the wall making Y/n yelp.

"You do anything with her?" Trevor yelled.

"No! Dude, I would never! That's your little sister man." Jack exclaimed with wide eyes. Y/n was his twin sister but Y/n was younger than him by 5 minutes making her his little sister.

"Exactly. My little sister." Trevor said with disappointment. He let Jack go before turning to Y/n. His face was filled with a mix of betrayal and disappointment.

"Trev." Y/n attempted again.

"No." Trevor shook his head before walking out the door.

"Shit." Jack breathed out as tears slipped from Y/n's eyes.

"Are you ok?" Y/n asked turning to Jack. He could hear the heartbreak in her voice.

"I'm fine. Are you ok?" She nodded unsurly.

"Come here." He opened up his arms for her. The two stood their just hugging as Y/n cried. She just betrayed the most important person in her life.

Yeah, she had Griffin and her parents but Trevor was her TWIN brother. The two always argued but they always made up. This time she didn't know. She didn't if they would be able to come back after this.

It was around 1 am when Trevor got back home and Y/n was awake. Jack had fallen asleep on the couch. She couldn't sleep not until she was sure that he was okay.

"Hey." She said softly walking up to Trevor.

"Hi." He replied. The both of them couldn't look each other in the eye.

"I'm sorry." The two said at the same time making them finally look up at each other.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I went over bored. I should've just listened and heard you out." Trevor ranted but Y/n just pulled him into a hug.

"I should've told you." She said as he hugged back.

"It's ok. We're ok." Trevor said as they let go.

"Just if breaks your heart, it will hurt me to have punch him in the face since he is my best friend." Trevor smiled maming Y/n smile.

The next morning went by smoothly. Jack was confused. Everything seemed to be normal. Only thing was that Y/n had kissed him in the kitchen with Trevor sitting at the table.

"No PDA in front of me especially while I eat my breakfast." Trevor complained. Jack furrowed his brows.

"We still on for the rink later?" Trevor asked Jack with a smile.

"Yeah?" Jack answered but came out as more of a question.

"He knows. It's ok." Y/n said as Jack nodded slowly.

"You're not mad?" Jack questioned looking to Trevor.

Trevor shook his head, "But break her heart and I'll fucking kill you."

Trevor smiled as he said it. Y/n threw an empty water bottle at Trevor.

"Shut up, fartface." Y/n remarked which led to an argument between the twins.

Jack smiled as he watched the two argue.

Everything was good. Everything was perfect and so was she.

[madamescarlette]

A few years ago I did a full-length version of this tag, which I thought would be a fun thing to revisit for this NYE! (You should do this too, if you feel so inclined! count this as me tagging you.)

share your favorite memory of this year.

I can't really tell you anything but multiple flashes that I hold close to my heart-- my mother sitting up in bed laughing over something I said about my brother, my whole family dancing at my brother's wedding hand-in-hand, one of my friends saying wistfully it was so good to hear me & my teammate's voices on the phone, me driving home the first evening it felt like fall and watching the leaves swirl around the street, me seeing a tiger (!!!) in the spring. A beautiful year, if a hard one!

2. what was the highlight of your year?

Most likely my brother's wedding! It tinged the year in such a golden light.

3. list the top five books you read this year.

In no particular order (except for the Q love u Q), The Q, The Carrying, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating, and the entire Frieren series tbh.

4. list the top five movies you watched this year.

Past Lives (movie of my HEART), Twisters, Miss Potter (my first rewatch since childhood and 😭😭), The Fall Guy, and tbh Return to Me (I think of it often!)

5. list the top five tv series you binged this year.

Hmmmm....this is always difficult! I would say, Abbott Elementary (my beloved), Psych (extra points for watching with my brother), Summer Strike (peaceful show of my heart), ??????, I rewatched Makanai which I love dearly but I swear I cannot remember off the top of my head anything else I watched, liked, and finished.

6. what is the one new thing you discovered this year (could be a place/hobby/song etc)?

I started learning SQL and that somehow to me was such a joy! And after reading The Hurting Kind book Ada Limón finally got into my heart for realsies this time and I think that's magical.

7. top three albums that you played this year?

I think I'm going to do a ranking on all their own, but peeeeersonally I think the albums that most were There for me were Charm by Clairo, Vertigo by Griff, Positive Spin by Gretta Ray. (Honorable mention to TTPD that has been with me through it all, it just feels too vast for me to really put a pin in it for just this year, you know?)

8. your spotify wrapped #1 song

These Walls – Dua Lipa, which I don't fully know what to say about it except that the shiny sparkly sound somehow makes me feel so bright and emotional at the same time.

9. your spotify wrapped top artist

Taylor forever.

10. your personal song of the year.

It's not even from this year! But You've Already Won by Gretta Ray song of all time to ME. It can simply hold a whole life in its hand and I love that so. Also a little shoutout to Down Bad which can still make me cry 8 months 10,000 listens later.

11. what is an achievement that you are proud of this year?

not necessarily any singular achievements. I'm proud of how much time I've spent with my mom, I think. I'm proud of how much I've grown in regards of my work. It's been a year of quiet (if grueling) growth and I'm proud of that.

12. what are your goals for the next year?

My goals? I think mostly that I'm setting some writing goals (daily journaling, quarterly chapbooks, 20k of a book draft) and I want to pick up boxing again as I've let it lapse this month.

13. any three book releases you are excited for next year.

I'm soooo out of the loop here, alas. There's new Maggie Stiefvater that I will read, there's new Emily Henry I will probably read.

14. any three upcoming movies/tv series that you are excited for next year.

tentatively excited for new Superman, tentatively excited for second half of Wicked, always excited for more Abbott Elementary.

15. if you could change one thing about the past year what would it be?

very little! I had to go through it to come out of the other side of it. (And when it shines out it'll shine all the clearer or something of the sort.)

16. did you manage to stick to your new year’s resolutions this year?

Not even a little! I was going to use this year to try to draw something every day, which I failed horribly at, but I think that's only to be expected. Still, I want to use my resolutions to create more little spaces of FUN in my life again. I've missed them horribly.

17. do you have any new year’s resolutions for the next year?

My only real, true type of resolution is simply to have FUN. While I've still had lots of big, beautiful joys this year, I've not delighted as I ought to, and I want to bring that part of myself back. Learn some new dances, learn to make sourdough, things along that line. Just get back into the motions of living and find myself swept up by the verve of it all. That's my one bit of resolve.

18. favorite meme of the year?

I could not tell you the name of a meme right now if you told me my life depended upon it. I love the bit we have of using substitutes because we don't do suicidal ideation anymore here babes. I love the resurgence of the children's hospital red meme.

19. which month was the most fun this year?

The most fun?! I mean, probably...October? It's hard to tell because there were challenges in so many! But I laughed the most in October so it must be then.

20. if you could tell yourself something at the beginning of this year based on what you know right now, what would it be?

I mean...I think more than anything I'd just want to reassure myself of the past that it's really, really okay, and you have more strength and power within you than you might think. Also, even though it sucks and it's uphill work, if you want this to be a place full of love you have to be the one to put it there, you can't just luck your way into it, you yourself have to put your heart on the line and become love itself to the people you're given to care for. And that's something wonderful to take part in!

21. favorite viral trend of the year?

I looooove the international Mikus with ALL my heart. They're what make life worth living 💛💛

22. list any three new things you learned this year (could be recipes, a new skill, etc.)

This is the hardest thing for me to recall. I learned how to make arrozcaldo at last? And I started learning SQL as I said. I started properly, FINALLY learning the different forms of poetry at the beginning of the year (I know, I know, I'm shamefully self-taught) but a lot of it has fallen out of my brain. I need to set it more in my bones, I think.

23. how would you describe your year in a word?

Enduring, is a good one I think. It's been quite a year for gritting my teeth and bearing it, alas. But it's also been a year of fruitful, beautiful friendship and fellowship, a year of becoming greater company to myself and to others. Luminous would be another fitting word, actually! There's been a lot of beauty and grace granted to me, and I am very, very grateful. There's something bittersweet in leaving behind any year, and this year just as much as any! I'll never live it again. But I can live a new one, and that's just as magical in its own right. I hope I'm brave enough to meet it!

[rise-my-angel]

I am here for your takes on Dani. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought her x Jon smelled of hot garbage. Like at best she was meh, and then when the two of them met I was just like "oh no....you're an entitled bitch". And now that its been years since I last consumed GoT, my thoughts have fermented into "oh no, she really is a conqueror" "oh no, everyone loves her because 'pretty badass lady'" "oh no i'm the fandom minority again". Anyway, where was I. She and Jon had no chemistry. The end.

The *only* way putting them in a romance even makes sense in concept is when you realize Benioff and Weiss gave Jon the Young Griff arc. It's why they gave him a Targ name, beacuse if they call him "aegon" then they can fufill that part of the books without ever having to establish Young Griff as his own character. He is the supposed son of Rhaegar Targaryean and Elia Martell, he goes to Westeros with intentions of using his better claim to take the throne and intends initially on marrying Dany, and it's theorized heavily that Dany will see his claim as a threat and the Burning of Kings Landing will come down to Aegon against Dany.

Jon Snow has nothing to do with that. He is a moral opposite to Dany as a charecter, and we've seen him time and time again be at strong odds against people with her morals. But by giving him the Young Griff arc, it means putting him into the romance spot when it makes no sense for him.

Hey I put a read more beacuse I cannot shut the fuck up about how this relationship is just rape and abuse but beacuse Jon's a man we think he wants it.

All of season 7 Jon is so out of place because he doesn't belong anywhere near Dany's Iron Throne plot, and he's being forced to interact romantically with a charecter that clearly he does not like as a person and is uncomfortable with.

But, Dany is the sacred cow of the GoT/asoiaf fandom. You love her and if you critizize her for villanious actions or morals then you are using bad faith towards her. While I personally don't like her, I don't mind other people liking her but I despise that her stans all refuse to allow any conversation about her being a morally bad person. A person who enjoys cruelty and death, enjoys creating fear and is smug when she can control others. That is not a person Jon would love, let alone even respect.

Their entire relationship wreaks of abuse, of Jon being forced into this and knows he cannot leave it without risking his and his families lives. Remember when Tyrion gave a very small level critisism of her actions and she angrily accused him of treason and siding with his family instead of her? Well what do people think would she have done, if her attraction to Jon was refused? Someone who she took all the defenses away from, all the power from, and could have killed at any moment (dont make an ygritte comparison mimi dont make an yrgitte comparison this is a different anti jon x fandom female fave charecter post).

I don't care how the show frames it, or what the intent was. What we got on screen, was Jon Snow being held prisoner to an immoral, cruel, military conquerer. And when that woman was attracted to him, she essentially forced herself into his life and gave him all but no choice. The Jon bending the knee scene and..the uh...boat...scene...later...uhhh....anyways, those to me feel so out of charecter. You cannot convince me Jon did any of this willingly. He is clearly trapped in this situation and cannot leave and is only with her beacuse she is violent and bloodthrirsty. But beacause Jon is a strong, capable man, it's not talked about as if he's the victim and that is insane to me. (Oh my good god the ygritte comparisons are almost laughable send help).

I don't consider a lot past season 5 to be canon, but if I am forced too, then I refuse to accept Jon was a willing participant in that relationship.

Jon's parentage reveal will always be about the revelations of his mother, and the understanding and acceptance of WHY Ned raised him the way he did. And how it was both his parents, his mother and his adopted father who loved him and kept him safe. The very fact that Young Griff's entire story is based around whether or not he truly is Rhaegar's son as opposed to that being a twist reveal is beacuse HE is the charecter whose Targaryean links is the important one. Jon's story is about him as Stark, and is always shown to be the moral opposite of Dany.

Their relationship in the best senario is not canon, but if it has to be, then there is no world in which Jon is there of his own free will. He is being forced into this relationship against his will. But considering his other love interest was another charecter who essentially forced him into a relationship against his will, and we were supposed to root for that tells me all I need to know.

Dany is a sacred cow charecter, and her stans are unreasonable in defending her. When you can like a charecter and critize them for their actions. Ned Stark was an idiot for ever trusting Petyr Baelish, Catelyn Stark's spiteful attitude and neglect of Jon Snow is was abusive behavior, Theon Greyjoy was a moron who ruined his own life for a father who long since abandonded him. Bam all charecters I love and there are some major flaws that I refuse to defend them for but thats also what makes them good charecters. Their flaws arent writing flaws, they are personal flaws for them as people.

Dany is not allowed to have personal flaws she is always to be justified even with incredibly bad faith defenses, but when she is flawed it's the writings fault not hers. Dany is a cruel, sadistic, controlling, military tyrant who enjoys watching her subjects fear her and her dragons. And she forced Jon Snow into a relationship with her beacuse otherwise then he is against her and we already knew she has no use for people who dont support her to be alive.

Jon Snow deserved better then to have both his love interests be domineering, controlling, abusive women who forced him into a romantic and sexual relationship.

Also, I mean, incest being normal is only a learned trait from Targaryens supporting their own blood purity. Jon was not raised to think incest is normal. Dany thinks its normal beacuse she and Viserys both were raised to think that, and Young Griff thinks marrying Dany is normal beacuse he too was raised with the mentality that Rhaegar would've been raised with. Jon finding out Dany was his aunt would've had Jon looking right at Sam and just

[cosmicjoke]

New York, New York 1980

The jumbotron overlooking Times Square reads 11:48 PM and minus three degrees, Dec. 14th, 1980. Ugly, orange glow of numbers hazing through the mist, don’t mean anything on their own. Feels like minus twenty with the humidity. Snow’s started coming down heavy, and the streets have gone empty and silent. His breath fogs the air in front of his face and it’s knives down his throat when he breathes in.

Ash thinks he might die tonight.

He’s on his own.

Billy and the others took off a couple hours ago, he don’t know where to. Didn’t tell him and he didn’t ask. Probably to find shelter. Deadly out here, tonight. Deadly. Lotta’ people weren’t gonna’ make it to sun-up.

He swallows, sniffs hard. Snot keeps dribbling outta’ his right nostril, running down to his lip, freezing there in a thickening crust. He wants to wipe it away, but that would mean unwrapping his arms from around himself, and he thinks he might just go then and there if he does.

Eyes hurt, burn with tears as he glares up at that big, stupid screen, flashing through the dark and fog.

He needs to find some place too. Needs to find somewhere. All them shelters booked up, though. Every space taken. Coulda’ got there, maybe, if he hadn’t been workin’ the streets so late. But he needed money. Needed it bad. Hadn’t eaten in days. Would starve to death, soon. That’d be worse than freezing to death, he figures. Freezing to death, he figures, you just go numb, and then you get real warm, and you just give up and then you’re dead. Starvin’ to deaths worse.

Though maybe he should rethink that, considering how much this hurts.

Needs to find somewhere.

More than seven hours to sun-up, and it’s only going to get colder.

//

Subway car stinks like piss and vomit, the overhead fluorescents flickering in and out, an annoying, loud buzz emanating from the fixtures. But it’s heated, at least, and empty. Quiet. Better than being up top in the snow and air.

Ash keeps his arms wrapped tight around his torso. The denim of his jacket is worn through and wet from slipping earlier in the snow slicked street, the worn-out soles of his sneakers not made for any sort of traction. He can’t take it off. Even if it’s warmer here, he doubts he’ll manage to pass the entire night riding the subway. He hopes for a few hours, at least. If he’s lucky.

But Ash ain’t never been lucky.

He gets maybe half an hour of rest, another hour of going from stop to stop, before the car fills up with the ruckus of laughing voices, whooping and hollering.

Ash opens his eyes. It’s a group of gang bangers. Buncha’ hooligans.

He feels his body go tense at the sight, pressing his back against the hard plastic of his seat.

Shit.

This wasn’t good.

He had to get off before they spotted him. They’d take his money, if he couldn’t. They’d rob him. Maybe worse.

He tries not to be noticed as he stands and makes his way for the exit. He doesn’t get far, though, one of the punks calling out to him.

Ash stops, tries not to cringe away as the group comes toward him, blocking off his escape.

“Well, what do we got here?” One of ‘em starts. Big, tall guy. Gotta’ be seventeen, eighteen. There’s six of ‘em. All about the same. No way past. Ash knows he ain’t got a chance. “What’re you doin’ out so late, all on your own, little boy?” He grins down at Ash, ugly, crooked teeth, greasy hair hanging down around his red face. “You all alone, little boy?”

Ash can feel his heart hitting hard inside his chest, his own breath loud inside his ears. His mind races, tryin’ to come up with something, anything to get him out of this.

“… I… I’m meetin’ my brother.” He croaks after a long moment, the lie heavy and bitter on his tongue. He thinks of Griff and knows he probably won’t ever see him again. “I’m meetin’ him at this stop.”

“That right, little boy?” The punk grins wider. “You meetin’ your brother? ‘Cause we didn’t see no one out there.”

“H-he’s comin’… he’ll be here.” Ash stammers, voice thin and shaking. “I need… I need to get off.”

“Yeah… I don’t think so.”

The blade seems to come outta’ nowhere, just suddenly there in the punks hand, flashing in Ash’s eyes.

“Whatch’u got, boy?”

Ash steps back, his hands automatically reaching for his pockets. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

“Give it, you little shit!”

“I… I don’t got…”

The words are hardly out of his mouth before he’s being grabbed by the collar of his jacket and shoved back against the wall of the car, the knife suddenly at his throat, sharp edge of it digging painfully into the soft skin.

“Check his pockets.”

Ash knows better than to struggle. There wasn’t nothin’ he could do.

They find his money. They take it. A whole nights worth of work. Eighty-three bucks.

Ash thinks he should be thankful they don’t take his jacket and shoes too, though he guesses those wouldn’t be worth nothin’ to ‘em.

“Thanks, kiddo!” The punk tells him. “Now, didn’t you say this was your stop?”

They throw him out of the car, onto the platform, just as the doors are closing. He can hear their laughter behind him, and a moment later, the train is gone.

The concrete beneath him is freezing against his naked palms and the worn-through holes at the knees of his jeans.

For a long time, Ash just sits there like that.

He can hear it up top, on the street, the wind whistling down through the exit and into the tunnel, carrying the cold with it. He starts to shake, an already painful sting bleeding through the thin layers of his clothing.

When he finally pushes himself up, his palms are scrapped bloody from the impact. He bites his lip, hard, willing back the tears threatening in his eyes.

Wasn’t no use crying.

He glances around for a clock. Finds one. It’s a quarter past one in the morning. If he gets back on the train, he could get mugged again, but this time he won’t have no money. Doesn’t know what would happen, then, so he thinks he better not. Nowhere to stay, then, to keep out of the cold. He’s fucked, he thinks.

He meanders around the station for a while. Tries one of the public bathrooms. It’s damp and dark, the wind from up top seeping in through the swinging door, turning the space colder than out on the platform. He can’t stay here, he knows.

Doesn’t know where to go.

Finally he makes his way back up to the street.

It’s like walking into a wall of knives, the cold cuts so sharp and deep. Ash folds his arms around himself, sticks his hands under his armpits, tries burying his face against his shoulder, but nothing really helps, lungs burning with frigid air. He’s got to get out of this. Some place. Any place.

He’s come up onto 57th, near Central Park South. The park seems like an even worse idea than the subway, but he doesn’t know where else to go.

There’s some dive bars still open, but not for long. And anyway, Ash knows he wouldn’t be allowed to stay. He’s eleven fuckin’ years old. They’d throw him out, most like. ‘Cept maybe… maybe someone’d feel sorry enough for him to let him stay.

… Maybe he should go back to Club Cod and ask for his room.

The thought forces bile up into his throat. For an instant, Ash thinks he really might be sick. Not that it would really matter. Didn’t have no food in his stomach, no how.

He only gags a little, though, wiping at his mouth. He can’t stop shaking, the tips of his fingers and toes numb and pained, his nose aching viciously, won’t stop running.

He wanders into the park, knowing it’s a stupid move, but Billy and the others sometimes came here, when they couldn’t get into a shelter, and Ash hopes maybe he’ll find ‘em.

He makes his way toward the spot they’d usually be, but he knows soon enough they ain’t there.

The park is empty and silent and black well beyond his vision, the glow of the lamps lining the walking paths obscured and vague through the dense fog.

Ash licks his lips, a sick worry dropping down into his guts.

Nobody was out here tonight.

Nobody was dumb enough. Not even the stalkers and pervs and muggers.

Guesses it was just him then. Just him who was dumb and desperate enough.

He makes his way back to the street. He starts to cry. It’s pathetic, but he can’t help it.

He’s gonna’ die if he can’t find somewhere warm.

He stumbles along for a couple more blocks before he can’t make it any farther, huddling beneath a storefront awning.

There’s a bar across the street, open, by the looks of it, but nobody’s hanging around out front.

It’s his only option, now, and so he takes it, hurrying to the other side. Even if he only gets a few minutes of warmth, it’s better than nothin’.

Walking in, he gets blasted by a wall of heat. The relief is almost enough to make him start crying again, and he finds himself suddenly sapped of energy, sagging against the wall closest to the entrance, limbs stiff and frigid.

It takes him too long to really notice his surroundings, and when he finally does, he feels his stomach turn.

It’s a strip joint.

There’s a stage in the room’s center, chintzy lighting effects illuminating it in regulated patterns of blue and white flashes, the rest of the space shadowy by comparison, hazy and dreamlike, a thick malaise of cigarette and cigar smoke filling the air. Music pumps through the overhead speakers, monotonous and irritating in its predictability, the stench of liquor everywhere. There’s only a couple of patrons sitting around the stage. Overweight pigs who can barely pretend at being interested in the woman prancing around more than half-naked in front of them.

Ash stares up at her, and feels himself start with recognition.

He knows her.

One of the girls that works the streets out there with him. She calls herself Betty Boop, but her real name’s Beatrix. Not that he would say anything. Ash ain’t his real name, either. Griff called him Ash. Papa’s the one that added Lynx to the end ‘a that, ‘cause he said that’s what Ash reminded him of. A lynx.

He didn’t know she worked as a stripper too, but it makes sense, for nights like this, when workin’ the streets wasn’t really an option. Ash would do it too, ‘cept nobody would hire him for that kinda’ work. Not if they were runnin’ a ‘legitimate’ business, anyway. Places like Club Cod, though, he was naked more often than not. Only he didn’t get paid for it. He didn’t get nothin’ for his hard work, there, ‘cept the privilege of not dying.

He was lucky they let him out at all. Was lucky, he guesses, that Papa had taken him out of being a regular there. He only had to work when there was a special client needed takin’ care of.

He shakes his head, his throat tight. He doesn’t want to think on that. Doesn’t want to think of that place.

Nobody’s noticed him yet. He hopes he can keep it that way for a while. He doesn’t want to go back out there, into the cold.

So he stays where he is, and waits, and eventually, Beatrix comes off the stage, disappearing into the back. None ‘a the pigs even gave her any cash, fuckin’ bastards. Ash thinks, if he had any left, he’d give her a few dollars at least.

It’s maybe another five minutes, and still nobody’s spotted him, when he sees Beatrix again, comin’ out of the back, dressed in regular clothes and heading for the exit, right where he’s standing.

Ash feels frozen, then, not knowing what to do. She’s gonna’ see him, and he doesn’t know what will happen if she does. Doesn’t think he wants her to.

But he can’t move, and he sees the moment she recognizes him, her eyes going wide.

“Hey… Ash?”

Ash just stares up at her, not knowing what to say, his voice at once lodged in his throat.

“Honey… what are you doin’ here?” Beatrix looks around, worried, it seems like, that someone will spot him.

Ash looks away finally, shrugging weakly.

“… Just stumbled in, I guess.” He mutters. “Didn’t know you worked here.”

Beatrix looks back at him, mouth twisted into a frown. She’s got that look again. The one that Ash knows means she’s feelin’ sorry for him. The one he knows means she’s worried about him. He wishes she wouldn’t bother. Wasn’t like he was worth it.

“Oh, honey, ain’t you got no place to stay tonight?”

Ash keeps his eyes away, shaking his head.

“… Missed out on the shelters.” He mutters again, folding his arms around himself tighter.

“… You can’t stay here, hon. You’re too young. They’ll have to throw you out, soon as they notice you here.”

“… Yeah. I know.”

“Were you workin’? Out in this weather?”

Ash nods, feels his throat close up.

“Oh, sweetie…”

“I’m alright. I’m fine. I’ll leave soon. You don’t gotta’ worry. If you’re scared they’ll think you let me in or…”

“Ash, I don’t care about that. Look… I can’t let you go back out there, knowin’ you’ve got no place. You’ll freeze to death.”

“I’m alright.” Ash insists again.

“Nah uh. Ash… listen… why don’t you come with me for the night? I’ve got an apartment. My man’s gone for the week, out of town. You should be okay to come by and crash there.”

For a moment, there’s a thrill of dread through Ash’s guts. The thought of being locked in an apartment with one of them pimps. The ones that were always tryin’ to snag him. He couldn’t think of a worse situation to find himself in. It hardly registers to him an instant later that Beatrix said her man was gone for the week. But what if she was wrong? He knew how the pimps treated their women. Like they were property. Like they belonged to ‘em. Like how Papa treated him.

What if her man came home while he was there?

Ash guesses she must see the worry on his face, ‘cause she comes up to him then, reaches out and takes his hand.

“He won’t be back tonight, honey. I promise. You’ll be okay.”

Ash hesitates.

He knows he can’t really afford to turn her down. He knows he’s lucky, that he would have the chance at all for a warm place to stay tonight, when he’d been sure less than twenty minutes ago that he could die if he spent much longer out in the streets.

And so he shoves down the uncertainty and fear threatening to choke him, and nods weakly.

“… Thank you.” He whispers, and Beatrix just smiles, squeezing his hand.

“Come on. Let’s get you someplace less disgusting than this, huh?”

Ash snorts a laugh.

“S’not so bad.” He says. “Not compared to some places.”

He doesn’t elaborate on that, though. Wouldn’t be no point. Doesn’t wanna’ ruin Beatrix’s night any more than he already has.

“If you say so, sweetheart.” Beatrix smiles, still holding his hand. “You didn’t… I mean… when I was up there?”

Ash shrugs, looking away.

“I seen a lotta’ stuff. It’s alright.”

“Oh, Jeez, Ash, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

“I’m alright.” He repeats.

What the hell was he gonna’ tell her? Seeing a naked woman wasn’t anything new. Women had raped him. Clients at Club Cod.

Beatrix doesn’t say anything else after that, and he doesn’t either, just follows her out of the club and to her car, parked across the street.

It feels even colder than it did before, but Ash guesses that could just be ‘cause he got a little warmth. Whatever it is, he’s just happy when they get inside her car. He reaches out, pressing his frozen fingers against the vents blowing hot air.

He stares out the window as she pulls out, watching the falling snow as it comes down harder than before, beginning to whip past in a dizzying, blinding wash of white. It’s quiet. Now that he’s out of the cold, almost peaceful, and he can feel the exhaustion starting to weigh down on him.

He feels relief when they finally make it to her apartment, and he follows close behind as they make their way up the stares of the tenement complex.

“That damn elevator’s always out.” Beatrix mutters as they trudge their way up. “We’re almost there, hon.”

“… It’s alright.” Ash tells her, even though, by the time they make it to her floor, his lungs are burning a little, his legs weak and shaky beneath him. He tries to hide it, but he don’t think he does a very good job with the way Beatrix keeps eyein’ him.

“Here we are. I know it’s not much, but it’s clean and warm.”

Ash looks around and thinks about tellin’ her that, to him, it’s like a fuckin’ luxury hotel room compared to some ‘a the places he’s had to stay before. But he only shakes his head and tells her it’s great, and he means it.

“Bathroom’s right down that hall and to the left.” She points. “If ya want to get cleaned up, there’s fresh towels in there. I don’t really have any clothes that’ll fit you though, darling. I’m sorry.”

Ash shakes his head.

“S’alright.” He says. “Can… can I take a shower?”

“Of course. Take all the time you need.”

Ash thanks her again before making his way down the hall.

He knows if her man was here, he’d never feel comfortable enough for this. But it’s just Beatrix, and he knows she understands. Knows she goes through the same hell each night he does.

He’s still cold from the outside, and it’s almost painful when he steps under the warm spray of water, the tips of his fingers and toes burning. It’s only a few seconds before it turns pleasant, though, and Ash sags in relief against the stall, the lids of his eyes drooping closed.

He’s so tired. He just wants to go to sleep.

Sometimes… sometimes he thinks… he’d like to fall asleep and never wake up.

He shoves the thought out of his mind as he steps from the shower, drying himself off and dressing quickly. He’s happy at least to be out of his wet jacket and shoes, keeping his feet bare as he makes his way out of the bathroom and back down the hall to the living room.

He stops at the threshold, uncertain as he spots Beatrix moving around the small kitchen space, heating up what looks like TV dinners in a microwave.

“Oh, Ash!” She at last notices him standing there. She smiles at him. “Was the shower alright?”

Ash nods, finally moving forward.

“That’s good.” She keeps smiling. “I don’t know if you’re hungry, darling, but I heated up some tv dinners, if you want to eat. It’s nothing special, but…” she shrugs, holding the plastic trays up for him to see.

Ash feels his stomach squeeze and cramp, letting out a loud growl as the smell of the food hits him, his face warming in embarrassment.

He hasn’t really eaten in two days.

“I guess that’s a yes, then?” Beatrix laughs. “Come here, you can eat at the table. I’ve got some orange juice too, if you like?”

Ash swallows, hesitating a moment before moving to the small, fold out table near the kitchen, pulling out one of the vinyl backed chairs.

“O-okay.” He agrees. “Thanks… th-thanks…”

“Of course, sweetie.” Beatrix smiles again, placing one of the dinners in front of him, along with a fork. Ash watches her as she takes out a glass from one of the cabinets then, and a pitcher of juice from the fridge. He suddenly feels parched, swallowing dryly, his throat clicking. He thanks her again as she hands him the glass.

“So,” she starts, sitting across from him. “you doin’ okay, Ash? How come you didn’t have no place to stay?”

Ash digs at his food, keeping his eyes fixed down. He shrugs.

“What about renting a room?”

“… Got robbed.” Ash mumbles, still looking away.

“Oh, baby… I’m sorry. Are you alright? I guess that’s a stupid question. Of course you aren’t.”

Ash shakes his head, beginning to eat.

“I’m alright.”

For a long moment, Beatrix doesn’t say anything, and Ash is happy to concentrate on his food. He hopes she’ll drop it.

“I can give you some cash, if…”

Ash immediately shakes his head no.

“No, I’m alright. I don’t need your money.”

“But…”

“Besides, your man’ll be mad if you’re short, won’t he?”

The room goes quiet then, and finally Ash looks up at her, sees her mouth pulled into a tight frown.

“… I’m sorry.” He hurries to apologize. “I shouldn’t ‘a just assumed…”

“No,” Beatrix shakes her head. “it’s alright. You’re right. It’s not really my money to just… give away.”

Ash feels shitty, then. Feels like a jerk.

“It should be.” He blurts. “You’re the one doin’ all the work for it.”

Beatrix laughs at that.

“You’re sweet.” She smiles, reaching out, ruffling his hair.

“No I ain’t…” Ash ducks away, turning his face aside. “I ain’t sweet.”

“You are. You’re a good kid.” She insists. “It’s not right, you livin’ this life.”

Ash scowls, dropping his fork.

“It’s my life.” He spits.

Beatrix pulls her hand back, frowning, her face confused.

Ash thinks of Dad. Thinks of what he told him. ‘Make sure you get paid’, he’d said.

Like it was natural.

Like it was natural for what happened to have happened.

Like it was what was meant for him.

Papa told him so too. Papa told him he was made for this. Told him he was perfect for it.

He can’t explain all that to Beatrix, though. Can’t make her understand.

This was his life. It was the only life he was ever gonna’ have. Only life he was ever meant to have.

He wasn’t sweet.

He was a filthy whore, was what he was.

He belonged on the street. He belonged in this life.

His eyes burn. He wipes clumsily at them with the back of his hand.

“I’m tired.” He mutters. “Can I go to sleep?”

“Yeah, of course. Of course, Ash.” Beatrix tells him. “Here, I’ve… I’ve got a futon. Lemme’ just set it up for you.”

Ash feels bad. He shouldn’t ‘a snapped at her like that. Wasn’t her fault. She was just tryin’ to be nice. Just bein’ kind. She didn’t know him. Didn’t know what he was. Where he came from. He feels like shit.

He watches as she folds the bed out from the ratty looking couch, sets it up with a blanket and pillow.

“There you go, hon.” She smiles at him again. “Hope it’s not too uncomfortable.”

“… Thank you.” Ash whispers. Can’t look at her now. Feels like such an asshole. “I’m sorry. I’m just causin’ you trouble.”

“No you ain’t, Ash. It’s alright. Come on. Get some sleep. Don’t worry about anything.”

Ash don’t argue. He can barely keep his eyes open. By the time he gets to lyin’ down and Beatrix has turned the lights out, it’s barely a few minutes before he’s lost to the world, pulled down deep into black dreams.

//

“I’ll pay you back the next time I see you.” Ash promises come daylight. Beatrix tries to tell him he doesn’t have to, but Ash has learned it’s best not to owe anyone any favors, if he can help it. So he keeps insisting until she accepts, and then he’s gone, back out onto the streets.

He takes the subway back to 42nd. Billy’s there, loitering around in front of the peep shows. Ash makes his way toward him.

“Hey, there you are, man!” Billy greets. He slings his arm around Ash’s shoulders, pulling him in against his side and rubbing his knuckles against his scalp. Ash tries pulling away, but Billy doesn’t let him. “I thought you might’ve bought it last night, kid. Man, it was cold.”

“It’s still cold.” Ash grumbles, annoyed.

Billy laughs.

“So, where’d you end up?” He asks, finally letting Ash go, pulling out a pack of cigs. He knocks one loose and holds it out.

“Thanks.” Ash takes it. He waits for Billy to light him up before answering. “I ran into Betty Boop and she let me crash at her place.”

“Damn, lucky.” Billy laughs again.

“What about you and the guys?” Ash asks, takin’ a drag, letting the smoke seep out slow through his nose.

“Me and Zach made it into a shelter. Dunno’ ‘bout the others.” Billy tells him, takin’ his own drag.

Ash feels somethin’ sick slither through his guts at that. He hopes no one died.

“I wish it was summer.” Ash says.

“You say that now,” Billy answers. “but you’ll be just as miserable when it’s fuckin’ 90 with humidity.”

Ash frowns, takes another drag off his cig.

“Yeah, but at least I won’t have to worry ‘bout freezin’ to death at night.”

“True that.” Billy grins at him.

They stand there for a little while then, not sayin’ nothin’, and Ash hopes it’ll stay that way, but of course it doesn’t.

“So you stayed out workin’ last night. You crazy, man. I hope you at least made bank.”

Ash swallows, stares down at the cigarette between his fingers, flicks the ash from it. He shrugs.

“How much you make? You couldn’t afford a room?”

Ash brings the cigarette to his lips, sucks on it hard. The smoke burns down his throat.

He remembers the first time he smoked a cigarette. Billy’d given it to him. He’d felt like he was going to cough up one of his own lungs. He’d never tasted anything so disgusting. Like breathing in tar and fire. He guesses that’s what it was, really. Guesses you could get used to anything, after a while.

“I got robbed.” He admits finally, his face warming at it.

Billy scoffs like he knew he would.

“The fuck, man. How? You ridin’ the sub again? I told you not to do that shit.”

“I didn’t have no place...” Ash starts.

Billy cuffs him against the back of the head, and Ash stumbles forward a step, the blow leaving a dull throb through his skull. He doesn’t say nothin’. He was used to Billy hittin’ him now.

“How much you lose, man?”

Ash hesitates.

“… Eighty-three bucks.” He finally says.

He cringes, expecting another hit, but Billy just sighs, shakin’ his head.

“Dumbass. You ain’t never gonna’ make it out here.”

“I’ve made it three years already.” Ash sneers up at him.

“Yeah, ‘cause ‘a me.” Billy sneers back. “You little dweeb. You need a fuckin’ gun.

“… Can’t afford a gun.” Ash looks away, miserable.

“Look at you. You can’t weigh more’n sixty pounds soakin’ wet. You need a gun.”

“I said I can’t afford no gun. Lemme’ alone, Billy.”

“I could lend you the cash.”

“No.” Ash shakes his head.

“Why the hell not?”

“I don’t wanna’ owe no favors. Lemme’ alone.”

Billy tsks.

“You’re so fuckin’ suspicious Ash. The hell’s wrong with you? I’m offerin’ to help.”

“No you ain’t, Billy. You’re an opportunist. You’ll hold it over me ‘till I pay you back somehow.”

Ash sees Billy’s hand come up, but he ain’t fast enough to get outta’ the way. An instant later he’s on the ground, the taste of blood on his tongue, his lip pulsating in pain.

“What kinda’ kid talks like that?” Billy frowns down at him, shakin’ out his hand. “How old is you, Ash? Eleven? You’re the weirdest fuckin’ kid I ever met.”

Ash wipes at his bloody lip, stares at the bright red against his fingers.

He doesn’t say anything as he pushes himself to his feet, dusting the snow off his pants.

He dropped his cigarette. Great.

Billy keeps eyein’ him, and Ash wonders if he’ll hit him again.

He sniffs, wiping at his nose.

“Just leave me alone Billy.” He mutters. “I don’t wanna’ kill no one.”

“Why? You already did, didn’t ya?”

Ash’s eyes sting and he turns his face away.

“… I shouldn’t ‘a told you that.” He whispers to himself, but Billy hears him anyway.

“Yeah, well, you did, Ash. Whatch’u think? You can be better than the rest ‘a us?”

Ash wraps his arms around himself, vision blurring.

“… I ain’t better than no one.” He whispers again.

“Damn straight, you isn’t. You wanna’ make it out here, Ash, you gonna’ have to let go ‘a that soft touch you got.”

“Fuck you, Billy.” Ash spits, but Billy only laughs.

“You wanna’ busted nose to go with that lip?”

Ash doesn’t say nothin’.

He thinks of Griff. Thinks of how his brother used to hold him at night when he got scared ‘a the dark, or whatever. Thinks of how his brother was so kind.

He misses him so much.

“Pff, whatever, kid. I’m outta’ here. See ya around, I guess.”

Ash doesn’t watch him go. Wasn’t no point.

Guesses he better get to hookin’, if he wanted to eat. If he wanted some place to stay tonight.

He wipes at his nose, and doesn’t think about much at all as he trudges his way down the street to stand in his usual spot.

Link to my a03: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wbss21/works

[grimmons]

OK i present to you:

A crack-treated-seriously S19 Fix-It Grimmons Fic by a person who has not watched past S2 of RvB and is not an RvB fan by any means - (spoilers for s19, if you haven't watched it, shoo)

It was over. It was all...over.

Griff would leave now there was nothing left to do,to survive against,to fight.

"....You could still come with me",Griff's soft tone pulled Simmons from his thoughts. Why hadnt he..gone yet.

"...I cant do that"

"I know but. If you ever go to earth. You know where to find me"

"You know that wont happen"

"Well. Yes but hypothetically. You know where"

Griff was probably smiling under his **Color here** helmet. A soft dorky smile that sent Simmon's heart racing each quiet night he saw it. A smile just for the two of them,a sight that he would never see again. A sight that was his alone in all the vastness of space. His world swayed around him.

The base would be so quiet. If he wished it if he asked him too he might be able to ask griff to stay. Maybe he could be selfish and hold onto him. But....this is all Griff ever wanted;to go home. Simmons couldnt pull that away after granting it.

Griff turned his back and it all felt so real. All these facts plagued Simmon's mind at once. The ever present reality crushing him under its weight.

Sarge was gone. He had to honor his legacy. He had to do right by him. But...was...was this right?

Was this what Sarge would want for him?? What would he even do in this vast canyon now empty of life.

Griff took another step before being stopped by Simmon's hand on his wrist,he turned to look back at him.

"....Yeah?"

"....Im going too",Simmons breathed out. His voice was shaking,barely a whisper. Griff had to strain his ears to catch it.

"Really??? Okay drama queen let's go~",pure joy entered him. Home AND Simmons best deal yet!

It took some paperwork but not long after they exited the spaceship,stepping on Earth's soil for the first time in...so long. It felt odd really. But they could carve out a life here.

Part of that life was house hunting in a... pretty damn bad market. Simmons groaned settling down on the hard plastic chair. It hurt his butt a little.

"Alright. Lets see how shitty this food is shall we?",Griff laughed settling down in his own seat as he set the kfc in front of him.

"Cant be that bad. Cant be worse than when Sarge made his chili",Simmons laughed but the mention caused him pause.

It had been so hectic in settling down he....hadnt had much time to think on Sarge.

Griff laughed meanwhile,setting the 4 pc. Chicken meal in front of simmons. Only to pause and stare. "Simmons?"

Simmons looked up,giving what he hoped was a convincing smile. He didnt wanna ruin the mood and they were both tired from house hunting... this hope was shattered by the next words from the other's mouth

"Are you crying?"

It broke. It all broke in a slightly dirty kfc. How pathetic really.

When someone dies it leaves a hole. Its an acheing,stinging hole too wide to fill. It was definitely not something now kinda soggy chicken could fill.

His tears were falling into his food and all he could do was wish it was Sarge's shitty southern chilli.

Simmons vaguely registered a hand on his back but he didnt react only crying more. What was he crying about? This was rediculous. He could hear Sarge telling him to keep his chin up. It was a good day. He had so much to look forward too afterall.

But he also had so much to not. It was never coming back. He didnt regret leaving the base but now there werent even familiar locations. No lingering traces of the person who was missing. Sarge was basically his father he... what if he and Griff got married?

They had talked about it. But... if they did Sarge wouldnt be able to participate. He wasnt sure what sarge would do but he wouldve found out if he wasnt dead.

Why is he thinking of all this in a kfc??? A damn kfc really??? All because he thought of some chilli. This was bullshit. He vaguely registered Griff talking softly - gently ushering him out of the restaurant to cry in the car.

The end.

[h3roisms]

( mason gooding . cis man . he/him ) — blasting slow dancing in the dark by joji down main street we’ve spotted GRIFFIN HAWKHAUSER sporting their favorite pair of garnet earrings. the twenty-nine year old PHOENIX-AVIAN SHIFTER HYBRID who’s been in town for six months often can be seen checking out his own reflection in every window he passes by , schmoozing customers with a flirtatious grin and a lilting purr into buying ' just one more drink ' to max out his tips that night , casually scrolling some form of social media at all times, or working as a BARTENDER at ENVY. people say they display charismatic and deceitful traits, but we rather trust their vibes: brilliant red feathers that glitter with iridescence under the twilight sun, a camera-ready smile that masks something dark and dangerous beneath a veneer of arrogant confidence, russian roulette with a fully loaded gun, glowing amber eyes peering at you through the darkness of an abyss. also, we’ve heard they love A FRESH PACK OF NEWPORTS ! aren’t they fascinating ?

soldiers aren’t born – 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮’𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚, fashioned from 𝐠𝐮𝐧𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐛𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 with 𝒃𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒕𝒉.

I . 𝗗𝗢𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗘𝗥 ...

name — griffin "griff " hawkhauser ( formerly , kenneth taylor ) // age — twenty-nine // date of birth — april 20 . // astrological — taurus sun , scorpio moon , virgo rising // height — five foot ten inches // language & dialect — american english , california / west coast accent // body modications — lobe piercings on both ears , belly button piercing , multiple tattoos over chest and arms // biological parents — alexander taylor (incarcerated) & amelia aronson (alive ; no contact) // occupation — former federal special ops agent, bartender at envy // build — lean and built, visible muscle definition, even distribution with thicker shoulders and back muscles

II . 𝗣𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 ...

mama's boy - dominic fike // slow dancing in the dark - joji // sugar - brockhampton // icon - jaden // lose - travis scott // rip 2 my youth - the neighbourhood // brand new person , same old mistakes - tame impala

II . 𝗕𝗜𝗢 ... TRIGGER WARNING FOR : FOSTER CARE SYSTEM , SMOKING , DEATH MENTIONS , DRUG MENTIONS.

the thing they don’t tell you about foster care is that no one gives a fuck about you; they don’t care whether you can eat, shit, or piss in peace , whether you’re gonna have a clean blanket to sleep with , or if you od in a ditch like every other sad fuck that ends up in the system. you’re just another number – and the freedom you wanted so damn bad as a kid started to really kick you in the ass. the world was a cruel fuckin’ bitch – and you learned that lesson quick.

the kind were subjugated , the disadvantaged exploited further and further , and those who harbored ill will in their heart always came out the victor. you watched good people get chewed up and spat , left with nothing more than hollow convictions and a laundry list of regrets.

you kept your head down after the first three placements flopped. they called you all sorts of things ; problem child was the nicest one , but you started getting used to the other ones , too. ungrateful brat , a delinquent with no future , a bad influence on the other kids. 

you smoke a joint once and you’re suddenly the antichrist. but the motherfucker who’s tooth you knocked out deserved it. he stole your fuckin’ hoodie – you saved up for months for that damn thing.

another thing you learn is that the systems feed each other ; it was a self-cannibalizing – and it exploited you just like it did the rest. You were just another kid from the wrong side of the tracks , one who looked to the skies for relief – and you graduated high-school with big dreams and not a damn lick of the knowledge you needed to achieve ‘em. so you do the only thing you can. you work dead end jobs – one after another – and the world feels so fuckin’ bleak you sometimes wondered if it’d be easier to just become another cog in the machine.

but , hey , you never gave in that easy ; you disillusioned yourself with the drugs , the booze , the cigarettes. you looked in the mirror and the motherfucker lookin’ back at you looked more and more like a stranger every damn day. you are still good , you told yourself , you can be good.

except you’re not ; you’re rotten to the very core , just like your damn daddy. you were smoking a cigarette at 3 am after pulling your fourth graveyard shift in a row when you saw some shady shit go down. you just couldn’t keep your fuckin’ head down – fatal flaw , achilles heel , ‘cause , really , you want to be good – and you walked in on some shit you shouldn’t have. you witnessed a murder – and not just any murder , some gang-related bullshit that went right over your goddamn head.

next thing you knew , you were bargaining for your life – you live , you owe them a debt. you learned to smooth talk after years in the system. smile pretty , bat your lashes , purr just the tiniest bit … be the pretty boy with the nice smile and they’ll turn a blind eye … they always do. and it somehow fuckin’ worked – ‘cause you’re a damn miracle worker – but they give you a catch : you’re the newest bitch to the underground crime circle and you’re gonna kill some people.

the stint didn’t last long , thank christ ; the feds busted ‘em and you panicked that you were facing jailtime – except lady luck decided to kiss your ass some more. they say they could use someone with the quick thinking and reflexes you showed the night of the raid. ( you were trying to save your own skin so you defected – told the boots where to go and where to find the big boss ) and they gave you a job.

next thing you knew , you signed your life over to become a weapon.

—

they broke you. 

piece by piece , atom by atom – they tore you apart and built their perfect toy soldier from what little remained of your sorry sack of bones. 

they stripped you of your name – kenneth taylor was dead. the identity of griffin hawkhauser was created from thin air and bestowed upon you like a gift even though it would soon become a curse , your personal cross to bear.

they sent you into missions that only the most deranged of adrenaline junkies would ever dare to take on – and you seemed to fit that bill. your life , thus far , had been one fuck-up after the next. now , at least , you lived life on the edge. you let yourself fight the good fight. you stormed buildings with blazing guns , gone undercover , jet-setred around the world to work alongside foreign dignitaries with wire taps and spy gear out the wazoo. you felt like you were finally becoming something – and with it came a false sense of bravado.

an invincible man is what you became ; the high of griffin hawkhauser brought with it a nurtured ego , a curated sense of grandeur that allowed your sly smiles to ooze with sex appeal and confidence despite the twisting maelstrom of chaos that dwelled just beneath the surface. you worked people like tools with a smile on your face – because you , too , were nothing but a tool to the government. you became their weapon – and weapons didn’t weep.

you saw more money than you could have ever imagined ; a ludicrous amount of zeroes inflated your head , made you see stars and revel in the luxury for the first time in your sad , pathetic life. your disillusionment only festered and soon , you grew reckless. they took hold and planted their seeds – and soon , as the roots took deep within , you succumbed to the machine you’ve been fighting with for all these years.

the first time you died , you made peace with it ; you already knew that the bird that soared in your heart wouldn’t be able to save you as you laid in a pool of your own blood , every wheezing breath full of agony. your lungs were punctured and you had more bullet-holes than brains left. you thought to yourself – well , it was a good run , but i guess it’s time to finally say goodbye.

and then the world was on fire.

you were reborn in your own ashes and the hawk within you screeched to life. the government learned two things that night : one , you were not a human being , but something far more mystifying , and two , you were unkillable.

oh , how joyous a night it was for them – and the marker of your second death , and then your third , fourth , fifth … you stopped counting after death two-hundred and forty-eight. they learned you were unkillable and sent you on one suicide mission after the other , knowing you were indispensable. 

you were bleeding out for the five hundred and twenty-first time when you thought to yourself – damn , you’re back in that fucking cage again.

—

you ran away again.

this time , you were going to be free.

you fuckin’ meant it this time.

—

portum opened its arms to you and you found yourself trembling. a world in which you were not a weapon nor a cog in the goddamn machine had felt like a pipe dream after all the years – but now , it felt like a reality.

you dug through your mind and pulled out the part of you that you had relied on so heavily to get you through it all. you wore your cunning smile and erased the past from existence. here , you are griffin hawkhauser , a man that bartends by night and soars the skied by day. here , you will be free – and no one , not a damn thing , will tether you again. you wear your false bravado and sink deep into its familiar embrace.

soon , you hope , you’ll begin to feel the confidence in earnest. soon , you will become the man you should have always been. 

[afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff]

Valentines Day

Ship: Brettsey

Word count: 394

Authors note: not proofread and only slightly based on canon cause I said so. Enjoy!!

——————————————————————————

Matt watched as Julia laid on her back, playing with the mobile toy above her, smiling as little noises came from her. He got down on the floor of the living room and laid next to her, gently grabbing onto her kicking feet.

“Hey baby girl. Having fun?” He asks, as she squeals in response to hearing her dads voice. They stay like that for a while until Matt hears the front door open, and sees Sylvie’s boots. “Hello my valentines!” Sylvie exclaims, as she takes off her shoes and leans to pick up Julia. Matt makes his way back to standing, with a slight groan as his knees popped (getting older wasn’t supposed to feel like this right?), and he meets Sylvie with a kiss.

“How’d the ride along go with Griff?” “Great actually. He stayed calm and collected until we got back to the station and then he had his freak out. Thankfully it only happened once and let’s just say Hermann and Boden went into dad mode.” Sylvie says with a small laugh as they head into the kitchen.

“Griffin doesn’t freak out over things unless it’s bad. Like enough to make me squeamish. What happened?” “An elderly person at one of those old people apartments fell and hit their head pretty hard. Lots of blood. And a broken arm. I think it was the shock of what he saw and how he handled it in the situation that made him freak out.” “Ok well that makes sense. Especially if it was his first time. I won’t tease him about it.” Matt replies, as Sylvie gives him a knowing look.

Sylvie puts Julia in her high chair, as Matt sets the table. “I know it’s Valentines and all but we both know it’s just another day for us, so I didn’t do anything fancy, unless you want to call a heart shaped pizza fancy.” “I love it.” She replies as she grabs the jar of baby food and a spoon, and begins feeding Julia. After the three eat, and Julia is bathed and down for the night, Matt and Sylvie curl up next to each other on the couch, House Hunters playing in the background.

“Happy Valentines Day babe.” Sylvie says, kissing his cheek. “Happy Valentines love.” Matt says, pressing a kiss to her lips. It was the happiest line yet.